#and im finally sleep deprived enough to not care

[phayz]

rb so everyone can vote- and i'll draw the results!!

[mins-fins]

a day for love !

"so…what are we exactly?" "mortal enemies". "oh".

synopsis: zhong chenle has too much on his hands, with his musical education studies and being apart of the NCT U student body and basketball team, he has no time for any distractions, but then he meets you, cocky, flirtatious, attractive you, core member of the NCT U fencing team. he's immediately put off, taken aback my your self absorbency and sky high confidence, he finds it annoying, how you never take anything seriously. zhong chenle does not like you, he hates the way you always have his face red, how you make his legs feel weak, how you continue to run through his mind even when he's trying to not think about you. you're so annoying, and he's carrying that sentiment to his grave, he swears.

pairing: zhong chenle x male!reader

genre: university au, strangers to lovers, annoyed (chenle) x annoying (reader), fluff, crack/comedy, again no angst, lowkey fast burn(?), pining pining pining, chenle's in denial the whole time 😭, just super unserious, angry love confessions (kinda), many many other idol cameos, ft. na jaemin the instigator (and also kinda lee heeseung)

warnings: swearing, sexual jokes, mentions of sexy time, threats against your life in like a romantic way, mentions of drinking, lots of back and forth between our main leads, chenle being the stubbornest person ever

word count: 15k

notes: heyyyy… heyyyy…😇 so this is another draft from march that i abandoned for a good few months before finally getting up off my ass and finishing it, im not going to lie, it could've been much better writing wise, the thing that carries this work is the dynamic between chenle & reader which was soooo fun to write because i loosely based it off a dynamic between my irl friends 😭😭 this was originally supposed to come out in may at best BUT.. a lot happened, this is a birthday gift for the one and only user junjiie (take a shot everytime i mention jj in a note) the silliest, my bsf ever, and the person who i constantly attack with unsolicited spoilers! i apologize jj 😓 he listened to all my insane rants about this thing and i always have to thank him bc he's always interested!! happy birthday jj i love you sm 😿 again named after a yukika song, i have a pattern

IF CHENLE IS ANYTHING THESE DAYS, IT'S ANNOYED. it's already annoying enough that he's practically been worked to death this week, given no breaks by the student body or his coach, but now jaemin has decided to drag him away from his work to watch some stupid match between people he doesn't know. now, chenle isn't the kind of person who likes working on friday evenings, but this friday is different, because he genuinely has so much to do and has no time for distractions of any sort. just the sight of jaemin barging into his dorm was enough to make him and sigh and roll his eyes. it wasn't just that, but it was also his insistent begging for chenle to accompany him to his friends little competition, a friend he doesn't even know to begin with.

chenle isn't just annoyed, he's pissed off, his head hurts and there are so many people talking around him. he's currently overwhelmed with thoughts because he has an assignment to turn in soon and because he's standing here looking after jaemin's stuff, even more pissed because jaemin said he'd only be gone a few minutes.

it's been ten minutes, and jaemin is nowhere to be seen.

the moment jaemin appears, chenle swears he's going to punch him in the face. he crosses his arms and lets out his fifth exasperated sigh of the entire hour, a displeased look makes itself apparent in his eyes, what even is this anyway? some dumb fencing competition? chenle doesn't care about this, or about jaemin's friend that he hasn't met yet. at this point, chenle doesn't even want to meet this friend, he's frustrated.

and yeah, maybe it's stupid of him to be dumping all of his frustrations on this friend he hasn't met yet, but he's sleep deprived, and he wants a cup of coffee.

standing around and waiting for jaemin has become boring, so chenle has begun to scour his surroundings. the banners above display your usual school spirit words, all of them talking about beating the other school or something, he hears the people above him conversing about the upcoming competition, making bets on which fighter they think is gonna win.

it's enough to make chenle snicker, they're betting on this like it's a boxing match, it's just dudes fencing, it truly cannot be that serious.

"all this shit for some dumb fencing competition?"

"well, what crawled up your ass today?"

chenle startles when you seem to come out of nowhere, but his momentary fear immediately becomes annoyance once again as he notices your tone of voice. what is he getting an attitude for? chenle doesn't like you already.

"nothing, where the hell did you even come from?"

chenle looks you up and down, taking in your features. you have bewitching eyes, they're a beautiful shade of light brown, your tall, much taller than chenle, your hair falls prettily around your face, a pretty butterfly necklace adorns your neck (chenle has no idea why he's staring there), and your wearing a varsity jacket, the letters NCT U printed on the side.

ah, so he's an athlete. somehow, chenle doesn't put two and two together, or maybe he isn't exactly thinking about that, just annoyed by your audacity.

"i was just.. observing" you respond, shoving your hands into your pockets as you let a small hum leave your lips. "what's with the fencing hate? i don't think it's that bad.."

"your probably saying that because you're a fencer yourself".

a snort. "well— you caught me there".

chenle raises an eyebrow, now your tone confuses him. what is this guy getting at? he can't read you, and he doesn't really like it.

"i'm not even supposed to be here, i have work to do, but now i'm here looking after jaemin's stuff while he's doing who knows what because i agreed to come watch him support his friend!"

"well there's no need to yell.."

chenle glares at you, a certain distaste in his eyes he doesn't think he could replicate with anyone else, but you do sound kinda unreasonable, so he takes a deep breath. "yeah, sorry".

"it's alright".

there's a silence. chenle doesn't know what kind of conversation this is, he's not the kind of person to just interact with strangers like this, he usually doesn't like having conversations with strangers, but he doesn't want to stop this conversation..for some reason. you intrigue him, so he begins again.

"NCT U fencing? i didn't know our school had a fencing team.."

"maybe you just aren't around much, we are the stars of the show after all".

your words make chenle scoff, a small raise of his eyebrow accompanying it. he crosses his arms and examines your varsity jacket once more, then narrows his eyes. wow, what a high ego. "stars of the show? isn't that a little cocky of you to say?"

"cocky? tell that to my fifteen medals" you reply, and that gets an eye roll out of chenle. "and those are just college medals" you whisper, leaning closer.

chenle somehow gets frozen in his spot, not moving back, leaving the two of you with your faces almost pressed together. if he wasn't speechless right now, he would've pushed you away, but your breath fanning against his face and your sudden closeness makes him feel dizzy.

he stares, and he stares for a while. he allows for his eyes to roam your face, and they instinctively fall down to your lips, your lips which just look so tempting.

what the fuck? you don't even know the guy chenle! why are you thinking about kissing him?

"wow, you must be quite the impressive fencer, then".

his words are meant to come off as sarcastic, and he stops staring at your lips so that he can gently push you away from him, trying his best to ignore his currently reddening cheeks. "i am! i would even say so myself, not to give myself too much credit or anything.."

"well that is giving yourself too much credit" a small hum escapes your lips at his words, and you allow for yourself to be humored by his words. "what about the rest of your team?"

"your acting like i called them shitty fencers" you easily reply, glancing down at your watch and sighing as you notice the time. "i never said they don't bring anything important to the team, i'm just acknowledging how good of an asset to the team i am, and that's totally fine, nothing wrong with it".

your reasoning makes sense, but chenle doesn't this conversation to stop just yet. "that's just a level of confidence that seems a little unruly".

"there's nothing wrong with being confident" you say, and chenle allows for his shoulders to fall. he can't exactly disagree with that. "i know how good of a fencer i am, and you should be applauding me for that".

"maybe i'll applaud you when i actually see you display such skills".

you snicker at chenle's words, he hates that you look so good, he doesn't even know you, but you've managed to both annoy and sort of make him swoon in one go. "well it's your lucky day, you can cheer me on when i beat my opponent in a few minutes".

ah. chenle thinks back to the school spirit banners that are hanging from the ceiling, he thinks back to jaemin, to the stupid promise he made a good few hours ago, and now he's standing here with some overconfident fencer, some overconfident fencer he would've never met if he didn't give in to jaemin's incessant begging.

"that's nice, you really think your gonna win?"

"i don't think, i know, chenle".

chenle is about to counter your words with another remark, but pauses upon hearing his name escape your lips. how did you even know who he was? he's about to start assuming your a stalker or something. "you know my name?"

"you're apart of the student body, you play basketball, and your constantly in the top ranks , everyone knows who you are".

the words get an uncertain smile out of chenle, but he quickly lets it drop because he doesn't want to be smiling because of you. chenle doesn't care, he'll remain stubborn. "yeah, right, glad you know that".

"alright then, you can cheer me on, chenle, i'll be looking for you in the crowd".

chenle scoffs again, now he's completely done with you. "in your dreams.." he mutters, and while he intends for that to not be heard by you, you catch it anyway, but you allow for chenle to think he's in the clear, deciding to not comment on it.

"wish me luck!"

chenle watches you walk away.

he allows for the questions to immediately run through his mind, what the hell was that? why did he want to chase after you like some desperate little man? why didn't he want the conversation to end?

but then again, you are just so annoying, you're so convinced your going to win. chenle almost wants you to lose just so he could laugh in your face about it, but he also does want to watch you face off your opponent, just for entertainment.

and with no jaemin to be seen anywhere, chenle just groans and cusses at the older in his mind, he is genuinely going to punch jaemin when he sees him.

for now, he'll focus on this dumb competition (and on you, wait— no, NOT YOU! he is not focusing on you at all).

CHENLE HAS A HEADACHE THE NEXT DAY, AND HE MAKES sure to put all the blame on jaemin. what kind of friend is he? dragging him off to go see his friend's dumb competition only for him to disappear for more than half the time than proceed to only show up after the competition was almost over and scream in chenle's ear in the entire time. chenle thinks he should start getting paid for hanging out with jaemin, because he can never tell where the other male is half the time, but he's still getting dragged out to shit like this all the time. when jaemin skips his way into chenle's dorm the next morning, he's met with an immediate glare from the chinese, and he seems to have no idea why chenle is so upset with him. "woah, who pissed in your cereal?"

chenle scoffs, throwing jaemin his sweater and going to get a glass of water. "you did, i have a headache because of you".

jaemin laughs at chenle's annoyance, a taunting smile coming to his face as he makes his way towards the younger, a surge of pride in his chest. "really? what did i do?" it isn't a genuine question, and chenle can tell by the exaggerated pout which graces jaemin's features.

"you made me go to your friends stupid competition, then still decided to drag me around after the competition" chenle grits his teeth as he says those words, and all jaemin does is raise a humorous eyebrow, a small hum escapes his lips as he gets another glare from chenle. "not to mention, your friend is so annoying".

jaemin chuckles, getting a small punch in the shoulder from chenle. "oh, so you met y/n then?"

the name doesn't register in chenle's mind, he never actually got to know your name. "is that his name?" just the thought of you has chenle's stomach turning upside down, and he has no idea why. "he pisses me off, he talks too much".

"aww, he didn't make you swoon?"

"absolutely not" chenle says immediately, he is not going to admit how he felt lightheaded just by the sight of you, how you easily had his face red without having to do anything. "he's so into himself, how do you even hang around a guy like that?"

how do you not fall so in love with a guy like that?

"well he has every right to be! y/n has basically won the school all of their fencing awards, a majority of them anyway, i don't get what the hate is all about.."

chenle clears his throat. "i don't hate him, i'm just commenting on his self absorbency".

"your saying that, but you couldn't take your eyes off him the whole competition".

the accusation is enough to make chenle's cheeks go fiery red, what the fuck? he noticed? he opens his mouth to immediately deny the claim, but all he does is stutter whilst trying to clearly articulate his words. "that's not true".

"but it is! you were fangirling more than his actual fangirls! you couldn't even contain yourself!"

chenle rolls his eyes, a small scoff escaping his lips as he tries to ignore his reddening cheeks. "i was not fangirling, you're crazy".

"am i crazy? or are you just in denial?"

"your projecting onto me".

jaemin just snickers, able to see right through chenle's little denying streak. his red cheeks are a clear indication that you probably did end up flustering him, the latter is just too stubborn to admit such a thing. "uh huh, sure, keep telling yourself that chenle".

chenle scoffs, completely turning away from jaemin as he tries to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks. no he wasn't fangirling over you at all, jaemin is just crazy, jaemin is just making stuff up.

at least, that's what his mind tells him.

"YOUR LATE, ZHONG CHENLE" THE WORDS get a small glare from the addressed boy. a chortle sounds from his fellow student body member, kim jungsu, who is humored at the sight of the usually stoic zhong chenle being pissed off, but then again, such a face has become a norm to the titular zhong. "woah, what happened to you?" chenle only scoffs at the question, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips as he ignores the question from choi beomgyu, who only raises an inquisitive eyebrow. the two older boys exchange glances, watching as chenle begins getting up to his usual things. "jaemin decided to hold me up, again" chenle grits his teeth as he thinks about the stupid shenanigans of the na, rolling his eyes.

"what did he do this time?"

"made me walk around the whole school to find something for him.." chenle mutters, pissed off. "but he kept stopping every few minutes to catch up with his old friends!"

beomgyu startles at the sound of chenle's shout paired with the slam of files onto the table. it's often these days that na jaemin seems to be annoying zhong chenle more than anything, the prospect is hilarious, though, he has to admit.

"did you guys hear? y/n got an perfect score on friday!"

the absentminded comment is one chenle so badly wants to ignore, but just the mention of you is enough to make his stomach begin stirring in a way he can't explain. it's monday, why are people still talking about your stupid friday competition? (chenle knows why people still would be talking about it, you're a very talented fencer, he can't deny that).

"did he?"

"what are you guys even expecting at this point? it's y/n, he's never lost a competition once.."

chenle stays silent as he listens to his fellow peers talk about you, your competition, your winnings, just you you you. chenle hates the way you take over his mind, he's only met you once, only talked to you once, but he can't stop thinking about you.

it's a mix of butterflies and some other unknown creature fluttering around in his stomach.

"chenle! how come you and y/n aren't friends?" beomgyu suddenly chimes in, nudging the other in the shoulder. the younger blinks, puzzled by the abrupt question. "you two would be a good.. pair".

chenle knows what he's implying with the emphasis on the word pair (pair? more like couple..), and just the look on his face is enough to give him away. he ignores the red which dusts his cheeks, something that's been happening much more regularly when chenle starts thinking of you, he hates that it does. "we just.. don't know each other like that".

"you two have talked though haven't you?"

chenle is getting bothered by these constant interrogations, he doesn't want to talk about you, because he's not sure he'll be able to keep his ground, or his face from heating up irregularly. "yeah we talked at the competition.."

"oh you went!? how was it?"

"it was uh.." chenle pauses, trying to figure out the words to describe the competition, he isn't even thinking about the competition, he's thinking about you. he can't stop thinking about you, you've been running around in his mind for the past few days. "yeah uh— what you said, y/n got a perfect score.."

chenle quickly turns away from his peers so that he doesn't have to be faced with their several questions about you, mostly because he doesn't know how many excuses he'll be able to make for his red face. he puts away the files as he listens to everyone else continue conversing about you, how known are you? chenle doesn't think he wants to know.

"that can't be tru— wait y/n! come here!"

chenle's heart drops at just the mention of you, and he hears a confused "what?" escape your lips accompanied by the sound of footsteps. he curses in his mind, how is he supposed to avoid you now?

"what's up?"

chenle turns around as he tries to not look at you, but unfortunately, his eyes have other ideas. they drift off to you immediately, and once he looks at you, he can't look away. you look so casual, but you seem to glow. everyone else in the room has basically become nothing, and only you matter. chenle reprimands himself in his head for having such thoughts, he shouldn't be thinking about you so much, especially with you currently in the room. so, he clears his throat and takes his eyes off you.

"beomgyu said—"

"i didn't say anything! don't put the blame on me! dongyun back me up here!"

chenle blinks as he watches his friends dissolve into a full blown argument, with you standing there awkwardly having no idea what was going on. he is quick to tune out the argument, as he's done several times in the past.

but you don't seem to care about the argument transpiring in front of you, seeing as how you slip away from the shouting guys and go over to chenle. "do they always do that?"

chenle can't ignore you now, so he takes in a sigh and looks over at you, his legs immediately feeling like jelly as he locks eyes with you.

you're beautiful, just as beautiful as you were the first time chenle met you and became absorbed in you as a whole. chenle wants to fall over, but he stands his ground, he remains stubborn, he doesn't want to give you that satisfaction.

finally, after what seems like forever, chenle finds his voice, it took him pathetically long to though. "yeah, they argue about stupid shit all the time, don't worry about them".

you snicker, eyeing the student council members who are continuing to go at each other's necks. choi taeyang rubs his temples, completely irritated by this idiotic argument.

you aren't focusing on that, though, because your eyes immediately go back onto chenle. "we never truly established our relationship.. are we friends?"

chenle finds the words baffling. did you really just ask him that? he scrunches his nose, but he can't exactly tell how he feels about the whole thing. "are you really asking me this now?"

you hum, fiddling with your sweater collar. "well, jaemin told me i should try getting on your good side, apparently we need to get to know each other".

"of course he said that".

chenle grits his teeth, but his irritation is feigned, because you snort and look away, your smile this bright, blinding spectacle that chenle could admire for ages. "if you don't want to it's fine" you say, smile unable to be erased.

"i didn't say that" chenle quickly rebuts, much too eager to make that fact known to you. "we can be friends i just.. don't be as annoying as you are".

you gasp, offended. "you think i'm annoying?"

"your just jaemin's copy and paste really".

"is that supposed to be insulting? i happen to like jaemin".

"well that's obvious".

you scoff, crossing your arms. chenle has to stifle his giggles, because watching you look so defeated is just a little bit amusing to him. he can't help his smile, why the fuck do you look cute right now?

"you're so rude, i like you though".

chenle blinks. well he was not expecting that. maybe he doesn't have you all figured out like he thinks, you're unpredictable, how aggravating. he feels his jaw clench as he stares you down. "is that how you always make friends?"

"no.. you keep avoiding the term, though".

"you keep questioning me".

"i just want to get to know you".

"you can do that when we aren't in the student body room".

you roll your eyes, but it's not serious, because nothing is ever serious with you. "okay then, i'll see you some other time, zhong".

you give chenle one last smile before muttering something intelligible to beomgyu, which draws an incredulous gasp from him. you bid your goodbyes to the rest of the student council before once again smiling and making your way out of the door. "he's so dreamy isn't he?"

taeyang snorts, shaking his head. "totally, but i think he liked chenle best".

chenle's face goes bright red the moment he's put on the spot, and jungsu's little giggles meet his ears. "you— he was just being stupid.."

"ohhh, i see".

"wait, chenle and y/n have thing?"

"we do not!" chenle immediately shouts, but as his voice elevates, his cheeks continue to flare. he isn't convincing enough, seeing as how taeyang snickers at the way he heats up embarrassingly. "we do not have a thing! he's just.. annoying".

"so you don't want to fuck him?"

"no!"

but unfortunately, zhong chenle isn't spared from the teasing of his student body members.

"CAN I ASK YOU A STUPID QUESTION?" IT WOULD BE annoying if not completely a norm by now. good god jisung is lucky he's jisung, chenle can't count how many times he's wanted to just clock him square in the face. maybe he's saved from such a fate, but yangyang surely isn't, and chenle is just gearing up the punch as he hears the liu begin snickering. if kun didn't nag so much he probably would've followed the whispering thoughts that told him to shut yangyang up with his fists, but keeping his composure is important. chenle clicks his tongue, tugging at his sweater and rolling his eyes at jisung's subsequent muttering. "okay but don't be mad!" chenle immediately snaps his head towards the younger, and jisung halts in his movements, yangyang's growing laughter is definitely not helping. "you're already mad!"

"i'm not, idiot" chenle grits his teeth, but he relaxes his shoulder and takes a deep breath. "just ask".

"what the hell is going on with you and y/n?"

chenle immediately scrunches his nose, pausing. now how would jisung know about anything that happened between you two? not that anything did happen between you two! it's just strange how chenle meets you on one friday, has like three interactions with you, and suddenly everyone thinks that he has a crush on you or something.

he doesn't! he really doesn't! why isn't anybody convinced?

"nothing! oh my god why is everyone asking me this?"

yangyang snorts, great, now he's going to add his two cents to the mix. "you look at the guy like he solved all of your problems, you sure you don't even want to kiss him?"

chenle scoffs, quickly flipping off yangyang and rolling his eyes. "no, yangyang i don't want to kiss y/n, and i don't stare at him like.. that, who even implied that to you jisung?"

jisung is just the slightest bit terrified of chenle, seeing as how his facial muscles strain to try and fit a smile. "jaemin hyung.."

"and you know heeseung gossips about everything! he's about to put it on the school paper!"

"lee heeseung isn't apart of the school paper, he runs a barely functional gossip blog".

"gossip gets around quickly".

"you guys are acting like i got caught kissing the guy! i'm not in love with him or anything!"

jisung clearly doesn't believe that, and of course yangyang doesn't believe that, seeing as how he doubles over in laughter at chenle's statement of denial. chenle glares, yangyang isn't as funny as he thinks he is. "it's not funny".

"it really is, your cheeks are so red, how are you not in love with him?"

"i'm just not, how do you guys not believe me?"

"it's a bit obvious".

"your terrible at lying".

chenle gasps, dropping his arms at his sides. gosh, even when he is telling the truth everyone thinks he's lying.

and no he's not secretly lying! he is telling the truth! he has absolutely no feelings for you at all!

"i'm not lying".

"well you can go prove yourself then, your boyfriend is right there".

when chenle snaps his head in the direction jisung pointed, he stills, because there you are. his cheeks flare up at the nickname yangyang gave you, the words he's not my boyfriend rest on the tip of his tongue, but they get stuck in his throat when his eyes land on you.

are you fucking everywhere now? chenle talks to you one time and now you suddenly appear every single time he tries to convince himself that he doesn't harbor any romantic feelings towards you. you have to be some kind of psychic, you're probably reading chenle's mind, just ready to show up when he suddenly gets stuck in denial.

"see? your doing that weird love like stare" the whisper gets him out of his daze, his eyes of admiration quickly becoming eyes of hatred fully directed towards his fellow teammate.

"i am not".

jisung blinks, contemplating his words because of the way chenle glares, so his mouth falls shut. "there's nothing going on there, you guys are just stupid".

for the first time ever, yangyang and jisung do something in unison, snicker. "okay chenle, i'll totally believe that".

you laugh in the far distance, the harmony is beautiful, and chenle has to use all of the self control in his body to not turn his head in your direction. he can already imagine your smile, and he has to fight his own smile, chenle can admit that you're annoying, but he can also admit that you have a very pretty smile.

"your lover boy is over there".

you pause, still giggling behind your hand as you glance over at kim minjeong. "who?" you inquire, wincing at her hard pinch to your shoulder. when you turn your head, you grin at the person you see. "i can't exactly figure out why you say that".

"you seem a little obsessed".

you laugh. a huge, polyphonic laugh that would make the words you're hearing seem like absolute nonsense. "obsessed? i like the guy a normal amount".

"woah.. like?"

"platonic feelings do exist ms. kim" you rebut, arms crossing over your chest as you listen to the mutters of your fellow students. "and besides, he doesn't seem to like me much".

"he looks like he's even in love with you".

"you don't even know what love is, jiung".

if you're being completely honest, you have no idea why you're going to extreme lengths to defend yourself like this. zhong chenle is cute, easily aggravated, your actions piss him off insanely quickly, you can see why people would think you feel something for him, you enjoy admiring his face way too much, you zone out on his features way too much, others might get the wrong idea. "fuck you, anyway, there is no way he isn't in love with you".

"in love? are we in a romcom?"

jiung scoffs, and minjeong pinches the bridge of her nose. "are you stupid or do you just not want to admit it?"

"admit what?"

your feigned innocence gets a groan of unison out of your friends.

and maybe a certain zhong is just admiring you from afar..

IT'S NOT USUAL FOR ZHONG CHENLE TO WAKE UP EARLY, and six am is really a stretch he can't believe ended up happening. after minutes of tossing and turning, he screamed into his pillow and rose from his bed to begin his day. classes start in two hours, but he's not going to be able to get back to sleep. he makes sure he doesn't wake daegal, grabs a basketball, and leaves his dorm to make his way to the school gym. it's something he usually does when he finds himself sleepless, playing basketball can get his mind off of literally anything, so whenever he wakes up in the early hours of the morning and can't get back to sleep, he simply makes his way to the school gym to entertain himself for a few hours. it's usually always empty too, so he doesn't have to worry about being interrupted while he's cranky in the morning.

he hums to himself as he dribbles the ball down the hallway, basking in the silence of the air. sometimes people are too much, he can enjoy being alone on most occasions.

the cool air of the gym hits his face as he continues his dribbling, taking a shot and having it land perfectly in the basket. he whistles, proud, but not surprised. it isn't surprising how good he is anymore.

"nice shot".

the moment chenle hears the voice, he has to bite back his groan. you snicker at the expression you see blossom on his features, and chenle turns towards you, lips pressed together. "nice to know you're so happy to see me".

"it's beginning to get ridiculous how you are everywhere" chenle is quick to bite back, and you shake your head, a laugh threatening to escape your lips.

chenle can't even help his smile. oh fuck you. you're evil. you're the evilest being chenle has ever had to share a space with.

he doesn't want you to leave, though.

"are you saying i'm doing this on purpose?"

"exactly what i think" you laugh, fingers picking at the fabrics of your sweater, and chenle finds himself frowning.

"what are you doing up so early?" he inquires, cutting off your response with a question.

you feign thought, rolling your eyes. "i usually wake up early to stretch, maybe get in some practice, it's sort of like a built in alarm clock".

"you wake up at six in the morning every day?"

"it's torture" you reply, eyes glancing around the practically empty space you two stand in. "but i've gotten used to it, coach is always on my ass about it.."

"ohhh because your his star player?"

there's a hint of sarcasm in that question, and your brows furrow as you watch chenle distracts himself with his basketball. "he's just constantly like that".

"okay, so you aren't doing this on purpose?"

"even if i was, is there anything wrong with me wanting to see you?"

chenle pauses, blinking as he lets the words slowly settle into his brain. if he had absolutely no self control, he would've giggled out loud right in the very moment. why are you so.. you? it's absolutely ridiculous, actually, why do you say things like this? do you have no regard for chenle's heart? you have to know what you're saying.

"what? like you have a crush on me or something?"

"seems you want for that to be the case".

chenle opens his mouth to respond, but it closes the moment he sees your smile. he grits his teeth, it's sickening how easily he's about to fall. who allowed for you to have such a pretty smile? he finds himself grateful to even be witnessing such a thing.

he finds himself flustered at how speechless he is, and he sighs, ignoring his heated cheeks. "you and your weird fantasies".

"whatever you say zhong".

chenle groans, quickly wanting to change the topic. "you wanna play?"

you chuckle at the question, shaking your head almost immediately. "oh no i'm not good at basketball".

"it's not that hard, just dribble and shoot".

you seem to find that idea ridiculous, because you laugh again. "you're definitely going to kick my ass".

"maybe i want to do that" chenle smiles, and you narrow your eyes.

"okay, i see the game your playing".

chenle laughs, and you frown at the corresponding sound. "come on, just once? i'll return the favor, i'll fence with you!"

you seem puzzled by that one. "..do you want to?"

"it can't be that hard".

you bite back another laugh. "you know how to be convincing".

chenle raises an eyebrow. "is that a yes?"

you sigh, rolling your eyes. "fine yes, whatever".

"don't 'whatever' me".

you can barely resist your smile as you watch a hint of irritation settle in his eyes. "come on, let's play".

and maybe chenle smiles a little too wide at that, because he can't stop admiring your smile.

CHENLE TAPS HIS PEN AGAINST THE DESK, LISTENING TO the murmurs of the rest of the student body. it's easy to be quiet when in a room full of noisy, immature men. he barely even remembers where most of their conversations go, it's become much too easy to tune them out. beomgyu must have said something insane, because taeyang is giving him that incredulous glare he can only share with someone like beomgyu. god chenle misses hanbin, he's the only person who can contain such idiots (which is amusing, because all he has to do is clap and they all go silent). "who even agreed to that? did mr. jeong tell you anything?" chenle just barely fights his groan, of course they're arguing about this again. maybe he should just get up and scream, then they would all shut the fuck up.

"i already told you! nayeon said—"

"i didn't ask about nayeon, did i?"

beomgyu sucks his teeth, throwing his hands in the air. "see? this is why no one likes talking to you!"

"i'm just stating the obvious".

"you two have been at it for hours! please just let it go".

honda hitomi leans against her hand, just barely able to fight her own exhaustion. she's about to collapse onto the floor and not get up, but she keeps herself awake for the sake of her own sanity. "what did mr. jeong say about the end of the year fair we planned?"

chenle sighs. "he has not gotten back to me on that one".

"good god it's never going to happen at this point! can i just take down the posters?"

"don't lose hope so quickly!"

"at this rate hope no longer exists! we have to wait weeks for a response from the principal himself! aren't we supposed to be hosting all the cool student events?"

"yeah that's what we have chenle for".

chenle ignores the giggles that reply to those words, much too tired to even care anymore. "i need to make sure donghyuck doesn't traumatize daegal.. you guys have a good day" he grabs his stuff and scrunches his nose, almost unable to stand on his legs considering how long he'd been sat.

"why would you let donghyuck babysit daegal?"

"he's broke so i'm practically forcing him to" chenle swings his bag over his shoulder, smiling at the snickers he receives from his members. "i'll see you all tomorrow, and if any of you see hanbin tell him he better come up with a good excuse for being missing".

it's a threat that again has beomgyu throwing his arms up in the air, even if it wasn't directed towards him specifically. "will do boss!"

"don't call me that" chenle just barely misses the incoming whine choi beomgyu lets out when he finishes the response.

and then chenle exits the student body room, his shoulder slumping accompanied by a silent sigh. he just wants to get home without any distractions, no yelling, no stupid jokes that lead nowhere, no one to imply something idiotic that will make his eye twitch—

"chenle! hey!"

well of course that can't happen.

zhong chenle's life will never be peaceful, and that disturbance comes in the form of na jaemin, running towards him with that abhorrent smile on his face. chenle is already praying in his head, because he knows jaemin is just going to try something insane again. "amazing to see you jaemin".

the guy isn't even breathless, which chenle finds amusing considering he was totally bolting the whole way here. "did you hear?"

"what?"

jaemin looks disappointed, and he crosses his arms. "you didn't read the blog post? pretty much everyone has already".

chenle blinks, no longer interested in pretending to humor whatever it is jaemin is going to show him. "everyone?"

"mostly everyone, don't be surprised if gyu yells in your ears about it soon".

chenle scrunches his nose. sensing his complete obliviousness, jaemin sighs and pulls out his phone, giggling before even turning it on. "you and y/n are the school's couple of the month".

chenle's eye twitches.

"excuse me?"

jaemin nudges him, showing him the phone. chenle doesn't even have to read anything, all he has to do is look at the title.

[THE SCHOOLS FENCING STAR & SHOOTING GUARD ARE IN LOVE: BUT WE ALL KINDA KNEW THAT ALREADY..]

chenle sighs, of course lee heeseung wrote it. he rolls his eyes, massaging his temples. "tell me you don't believe this.."

jaemin giggles, turning his phone off. he laughs for a while, but pauses when he realizes chenle isn't laughing with him. "wait.. you two aren't dating?"

"no jaemin, we aren't".

the information flabbergasts him. "what do you mean you aren't!? i thought you two were doing like the secret thing.. the whole yeah were dating but like not publicly thing!"

chenle simply shrugs, turning on his heel and continuing his walk towards the exit. jaemin almost trips on his feet, following closely behind him. "how many times do i have to tell people this? there is nothing going on between y/n and i!"

"so then what were you two doing in the gym?"

chenle stops, glancing behind him to catch a look at jaemin's face. he narrows his eyes, scratching the fabric of his sweater. "talking, jaemin, like you usually do with people".

"six in the morning and you two are just talking?"

"you take everything out of proportion, i'm not sure you know what 'dating' looks like".

"well i know y/n, though, and i know his expressions, he stares at you with so much love it's sick!"

chenle can't even muster another eye roll, he simply keeps quiet at the words, turning around to look forward. "whatever.."

he stares down at the floor, not allowing for the words to get to his head. if he does than he'll begin thinking about you, and if he envisions your smile he won't be able to bite back his own.

IT'S FUNNY HOW QUICK GOSSIP CAN SPREAD, BECAUSE ALL chenle's been presented with in these past few weeks are rumors and mindless gossip. what kind of grip does lee heeseung have on everyone? how does his wannabe gossip blog really do all of this damage? he can't even begin speaking without someone asking if he's dating you. is this what being your boyfriend would be like? suddenly everyone is invested in his business and he can't even live in peace because everyone assumes you two are dating. he's let out enough sighs these past few weeks, he's beginning to get tired of everyone's constant muttering, he can't even talk without annoying himself, and he hasn't had an actual conversation with you in a good two weeks, which was totally unintentional at first, but it slowly became more.. voluntary.

you two don't talk much, simply give glances to each other in hallways. it's not that chenle is avoiding you! it's just that chenle is definitely avoiding you.

he just sort of needs space, for an unchecked amount of time.

you almost completely consume his mind, and because everyone thinks you two are dating, it's hard to not think about you. maybe it was difficult to get you out of his head before, but it is insanely difficult now. he doesn't escape jaemin's snickers, whispers, or even just mentions of your name, you're practically haunting him.

looking at your face ensures that chenle will probably collapse onto the floor.

so chenle's avoiding you for the peace of his mind. he makes excuses for why he doesn't want to see you every time, a tight lipped smile on his face whenever someone brings you up.

and of course, because of his avoidance, even more rumors swirl. something about you two getting into a random fight, a lovers quarrel the audience are calling it. how annoying.

but he can't avoid you forever, because you literally know everyone, including the people in his close knit friend group. so what is chenle supposed to say? it gets harder to come up with excuses for not wanting to be in the same room as you. jaemin keeps sending him weird looks, asking questions with his eyes, but chenle simply walks away.

you seem to want to talk to him, but you also seem to sense that he needs his space, because you don't just suddenly ambush him to ask why he's suddenly avoiding you like the plague (even if you do really want to).

and chenle keeps that track record pretty solid for a while, he dodges all of the questions, stares, you, it almost becomes easy after a while.

but it doesn't stay the same, because of course it doesn't, you always just.. appear.

"you sure you can make it? we don't wanna bother you if you can't".

mark is always so considerate, chenle doesn't know the last time he met a guy so nice. "yeah, yeah i'll be fine! just text me the time and i will be there".

"on time?"

chenle snaps his head towards donghyuck, glaring. the older simply giggles as the younger flips him off, and he scoffs. "yes on time donghyuck, fuck you".

"see you lele!"

chenle scrunches his nose at the nickname, he would flip donghyuck off again if not for wanting to keep his sanity in tact. he has to have some kind of limit, and when he hears yet another giggle spill from donghyuck's lips, he wishes he had acted on his intrusive thoughts.

chenle has a few hours considering they always like going out late (and they wonder why their always tired in the morning), he can binge all of how i met your mother for the seventieth time, and he can keep daegal company enough that she'll tire herself out.

chenle's hands stay shoved in his pockets, it isn't even that cold, he just has an emotional attachment to this sweater.

but then chenle stops, because he just walked the complete opposite direction of where he was supposed to go. he blinks, mentally cursing at himself.

"what an idiot you are zhong chenle".

"well that's rude to say to yourself".

chenle jumps, but he can't be startled for long, because it's you. after avoiding you for almost two weeks (seriously he was so close!), you had successfully cornered him.

well 'cornered' may not be the right term to use in the context, you smile, as if pleased to see him. "feels like i haven't been here in years.."

you glance around, feigning interest in your surroundings. chenle bites into his inner cheek, suddenly feeling the air become awkward. "did i do something wrong?" you inquire, seeming completely.. normal.

"no" chenle almost whispers, turning around as to not stare at you. he begins walking the right way this time, unconsciously inviting you to follow him, which you clearly sense with how you straighten up and begin walking beside him. "it's not you".

"so you're avoiding me for what reason?"

chenle shrugs, silence overtaking the air between you two. he listens to the small mutters of others as you two walk together, he can ignore it easily considering you're right beside him now, maybe it's because you overtake all of his thoughts. "i don't know.. everyone thinks were dating, it feels kind of weird".

"well i guessed that was the case".

chenle again goes silent, you are much calmer about this than he would've expected. it's just something he isn't used to seeing from you, he knows if he was getting avoided so clearly he probably would've blown up on the person, but that's just him. "aren't you mad?"

"not really, i can see where your coming from".

chenle hums, the air again becoming awkward. "i'm sorry" you don't look at him as he apologizes, but you smile anyway.

"it's alright, we technically aren't.. friends so i'm really not that offended".

chenle pauses, well he totally forgot that one. he's the one who said it himself. oh he is such a fucking idiot, but you don't say it to offend him, you simply state it as a fact. "still, i probably would've blown up on you if it was the other way around".

"oh trust me, other people have done way worse, a little ghosting is nothing".

that finally gets a smile out of chenle, and you seemed to miss that smile, because you mirror his expression. "i didn't mean to worry you, none of it is your fault".

"i wouldn't say i was worried, i was just confused, but you have your reasons".

chenle sighs, stopping as you hold the door for him. so you're basically just walking him back to his dorm now, no words even having to be exchanged. that's funny. he doesn't put all of his focus on that, though, you're directly in front of him right now, he should put all of his focus on that.

"so were good, right? no bad blood?"

chenle glances over at you. "there never was any bad blood, i just got into my own head".

"that's good, you still have to make good on that promise of fencing me".

chenle raises an eyebrow, suddenly feeling his cheeks dust red. "fencing and basketball are vastly different".

"obviously, but you kicked my ass so i should get to kick yours".

"it was a pretty close game, ten to six".

"my point still stands".

chenle hums, just barely biting back his laugh. "okay fine, we'll fence, just go easy on me".

"aww, but then it won't be fun!"

chenle childishly sticks his tongue out at you, immediately met with an offended stare. still, you laugh, giggle even. chenle finds it funny how easily he can make you laugh.

"either that or we won't".

"fine then".

your smile indicates to chenle that you definitely don't plan on completely fulfilling that.

you raise your hands up in mock surrender, and chenle simply shakes his head, completely done with you. he stops in front of his door, rummaging through his pockets looking for his keys.

"thanks for walking me" he says, quite literally unable to shake off the weird feeling in his stomach. "even though you kind of just followed me here.."

"we were talking, i didn't know how to just leave".

i didn't want for you to leave anyway.

but chenle doesn't say that one, simply smiles again. "it's fine, thank you again".

"so what are we exactly?"

chenle blinks, just about to open his door when you ask that question. he thinks about it, thoughts chugging like a train.

"mortal enemies".

you snicker, looking down at the floor. "oh".

chenle hums, hand resting on his doorknob. "yeah, have a good day y/n".

"you too chenle".

CHENLE DIDN'T UNDERESTIMATE YOU WHEN HE CHALLENGED you to a fencing match. you've been a fencer as long as you could stand on your two feet, you mentioned in passing once that you'd been fencing since elementary school, introduced to the sport by your father. chenle doesn't know anything about fencing, he's watched one competition and can barely recollect the memories of what went on because it was at that competition that he met you. it's hard to focus on anything when your around, especially the match he literally challenged you to. he wasn't exactly thinking when he brought it up, just really wanting for you to play basketball with him. he stumbles back, tripping on his own feet and falling back onto the floor.

"wow i suck at this" chenle mutters, back resting against the mat on the ground.

your distinct chuckle meets his ears, and chenle lets out a sigh. "well i didn't say it.."

"oh fuck you, your the fencing expert".

"that's what you get when you compete with an actual fencer" you respond, chenle rests the épée beside his laying figure. "you didn't go down without a fight though, four points!"

"four points to twelve points, you think that's a worthy competition?"

"it's impressive for someone whose fencing for the first time ever right now" you remove your fencing mask properly, getting a good look at him on the floor. "i'm sure you could take jiung in a match".

"oh don't mention your teammates, i can't handle any of this, how do you do it?"

you whistle, dropping the épée onto the floor and extending your hand towards chenle. he takes it, feeling a pain spike as he stands on his two legs. "you liar, you said you were gonna go easy".

you simply smile, feigned innocence behind that wretched sight ('wretched' is the wrong word to describe it, chenle absolutely loves your smile).

"that was me going easy" you reply, squeezing his hand against yours.

that's when chenle is brought back to reality. holy shit you two are holding hands. he stares at the spectacle, blinking dumbly as you again snicker at your own words. he pulls his hand away quickly, ignoring the excessive heat of his face.

"oh then i really suck".

"your better than most people".

chenle hums, being better than most people doesn't really mean anything when going against you. "stop frowning, you did well".

chenle is definitely not frowning, he's not! how would you even know that? "well doesn't mean much in these books".

you shake your head, and chenle doesn't frown (but his lips turn downward). he picks the épée up from the floor, twirling it around. "can't just say i'm not good at this?"

"the reason you aren't good at this is because of your handiwork" you quickly respond, stepping closer to him and wrapping your fingers around chenle's wrist. "you have to angle your hand at ninety degrees, it has to be parallel to your foot.."

chenle blinks as you begin explaining the ways for him to improve his fencing. your rambling, very interested in actually helping him instead of just beating him at your own game again. chenle is quite literally on the verge of a heart attack, everything you're saying has blurred into the background as you get closer, the heat in the room steadily rising.

you continue talking, angling chenle's arm forward and pointing the sword straight. chenle cannot focus on what you're saying because you are so.. beautiful? you look so good in this lighting, it has to be criminal. you unconsciously get up in his personal space and chenle's breath hitches, but you don't notice.

"—and when you lunge your other hand should go down to balance your body weight" you mutter, smile on your face as you glance at chenle, who looks midway through a disassociating scene.

"hey, are you even listening to anything i'm saying?" you nudge chenle with your shoulder. chenle snaps out of his little episode and blinks, leaning away from you as he sees how close you are.

"oh.. uh— well".

you sigh, letting go of chenle's wrist and watching it lean down in just the slightest. "nuh uh, keep it up, ninety degrees".

chenle scoffs, but you raise an eyebrow, and he pauses. who knew you could be like that? chenle is just a little afraid seeing you serious. "you really don't have to help me".

"it's out of courtesy".

chenle narrows his eyes, and you whistle again, removing the fencing gear your wearing. "you aren't going against me again are you?"

"absolutely not" chenle shakes his head, another heavy breath leaving his lips. "you're brutal, i can't keep up".

"i'm sure you could".

"you have too much faith in me".

you hum, slipping your sweater back on and shoving your hands into your pockets. chenle again sighs, walking past you. "you could've at least tried to get eight points on me".

"the only way i'd get eight points on you is if you gave them to me" chenle replies, and you hold the door open for him again, watching as he narrows his eyes at you. "and you'd never let me".

"it's good to be competitive".

"at least you said something true".

you two must have a thing for unconsciously walking together now, much too distracted in conversation to even catch the looks your being given.

"i see you guys have made up!"

you pause, smiling at the sight of your longtime friend, and chenle sighs at the sight of jaemin. "why are you so sad?"

"jaemin brings chaos into my life".

jaemin scrunches his nose, offended. "don't be so quick to say that, i brought y/n into your life!"

"exactly".

now it's your turn to be offended, a gasp drawing from you. "wow i see how it is, chenle, maybe you should just go back to ignoring me then".

"you're so petty".

"oh and you aren't? that is completely unfair!"

jaemin glances between the two of you as you begin your mini argument, the bickering between you two surprisingly entertaining him.

what an interesting lovers quarrel.  

"DON'T BE BORING! LET'S GO TO JINYOUNG'S PARTY!" JAEMIN shouted in his ear as he saw chenle trying his best to drift off to sleep. the younger was very much not on board, he wanted to sleep, he wanted to rest, maybe have a romantic dream about you or whatever. it's not like he had a load of work dumped on him tonight, he just didn't want to go out on his fine evening, and he also doesn't know jinyoung that well. he's not the extent of social butterfly jaemin is, he's sort of afraid of being that awkward friend who just follows his much more known friend around. he just knows jaemin is going to ditch him the moment he finds a cute guy to make out with, and that isn't his ideal kind of night. it didn't matter what he said though, jaemin had somehow convinced him to not sleep in his bed all night.

"this room reeks of drunk breath".

"don't be boring, chenle!" that must be jaemin's only response, because he smiles when chenle frowns. "have some fun" he pushes at his shoulder, but chenle simply sighs.

"i can't wake up with a hangover tomorrow.."

"just a little?"

jaemin puts his best puppy dog eyes on display, pouting with his hands clasped together. chenle immediately leans back against the wall, put off by whatever.. this is. he points, pressing his index finger against jaemin's chest. "if you get wasted i'm leaving you".

"that isn't a threat".

yeah, it really isn't, jeno is jaemin's ride or die, he'd carry the guy up the stairs while he was hanging off his shoulder for pete's sake.

so when jaemin does eventually get wasted, chenle isn't even that surprised when jeno shows up to follow him around and make sure he doesn't kill himself.

jinyoung is nice, a little erratic, chenle finds it amusing how easily he gets offended at heeseung's jokes. he almost socked the guy in the face, but then they looked at each other and began laughing loudly about it, they're much too gone to even realize they're being stupid.

chenle could barely take one sip of those drinks without grimacing, he can't even get tipsy, he might fall over from the taste alone, he isn't going to risk it.

he can't stand being alone for long, though, because he finds himself at beomgyu's side, listening to the choi talk his ear off. he doesn't know many of beomgyu's friends, he's met taehyun once, courtesy of jisung surprisingly, but the other guys are practically ghosts to him. one of them really likes bread though, he's never seen a guy so passionate about wheat.

"i can't believe you think strawberry ice cream is good! it's terrible!"

"it's not! you're a pussy! no wonder you can't eat fruit!"

maybe beomgyu and this bread obsessed guy have arguments like this often, because the words sound so practiced chenle assumes they must rehearse this argument for every time they drink. beomgyu huffs, crossing his arms, and he snaps his head over to chenle. "tell soobin he's wrong".

"is that his name?" when he asks that, soobin waves from behind beomgyu, a wide smile displayed on his face. "i have no say here".

beomgyu pouts. "even outside of school you're boring".

"you're arguing about strawberries!"

and just when chenle is about to join the argument about the ethics of strawberry ice cream, he hears something.

"boo!"

chenle almost jumps out of his seat, startled by the sudden sound. he grits his teeth once he's met with your smiling face, and you giggle, your breath reeking of the disgusting alcohol. "oh hello you".

"hiiiiii did you miss me?" you ask, hands clasped together as you try your best to sit, tripping on your feet. you hiccup; "cause i definitely missed you—" a poke to his cheek, another giggle leaves your lips. "—i can't believe you're reeeeal" your words slur and syllables stick together, you clearly aren't in the right mind at the current moment.

you lean half your body weight against chenle, laughing at something you say in your own head (at least that's what chenle assumes is happening, you're simply laughing for no reason). "did you miss me too?"

you jut out your bottom lip, chenle has to turn his head to stare at you. your cheeks are flushed, eyes are wide, and you have a permanent smile on your face. "it's debatable".

"you take that back!"

chenle can just barely stifle his laugh, you're absolutely ridiculous. you pout again, brain fuzzy. "don't laugh at me.."

"how much have you had to drink?" chenle asks, a finger in your hair. the strands are soft, just like he predicted.

"uhhh nothing really like um.. uh— four?" you hold up four fingers, then burst into laughter at the sight of your own hand.

oh. so you're that drunk, you giggle again, a snort following that sound. your head rests onto chenle's shoulders, and you shake as you giggle.

"four drinks? already".

you hiccup again. "jinyoung said.. um, i actually forgot what he said, but he promised me something! i like promises!"

you snap your fingers, leaning back in your seat and almost falling backwards in the process.

chenle watches, listening to the continuous drunk chatter of beomgyu and soobin. he then sighs, tired. "y/n, come on".

you crack open one eye. "whaaaaat? you don't wanna dance?"

"i think you've had enough, let's not dance right now".

"but we have to" your lips turn downward into a frown, visible sadness in your eyes.

"we can dance at another time".

"oh really?" your eyes shine, as if you're already awaiting the moment you two will dance.

"yeah, let me take you home before you end up passing out on the floor".

chenle wraps an arm around your waist, and you wrap an arm around his, but he's basically carrying you around.

"jaem" chenle calls out, grunting as he lifts you from your place. when jaemin turns around, he looks fine, not like what chenle expected. he's met with an immediate eyebrow raise, as expected of jaemin. "i'm taking y/n home.."

"youuu just wanna see my bedroom" you slur, poking chenle again as you practically fall onto him, no longer controlling any of your movements. "hiiiii jaemin!"

"okay, i see" jaemin looks you two up down, and you're still waving while he judges you. "have fun".

"don't start".

at the sight of chenle's piercing glare, jaemin puts his hands up in surrender. "okay, make sure he doesn't die".

"he might end up killing himself anyway.." chenle mutters under his breath, again lifting you up as he sighs.

"byeeeee jaemin! i love you!"

chenle scrunches his nose, and you continue to wave even when jaemin disappears from view. you lean onto him again, noticing his silence. "don't be mad, i love you too".

he glances. "not mad".

you giggle again, wasted beyond words. "no need to lie to me, you're so obvious".

chenle's cheeks flare up at that. alright you fucking psychic.

WHEN YOU TWO MAKE IT BACK TO YOUR DORM, you collapse onto your couch, bringing your knees to your chest. you weren't as talkative on the way back as chenle thought you would be, the moment you two left jinyoung's door, you simply went silent, the many drinks probably went to your head, you must be exhausted, and for the first time in forever, you two don't really bicker. you simply walk along with him in silence, so there are no words exchanged between you two. when you collapse onto your couch, chenle can just barely keep in his laugh. you let out a heavy breath, groaning. "i hate parties.." you mutter against your cushion, scratching at the fabric of the cushion. chenle turns to stare at you, and you let out a groan of pain(?).

"no you don't".

"no i don't".

you stretch your limbs, then hug your knees against your chest. "chenle?" you call out, eyes closed, and arms circled around yourself.

your voice is barely audible, he doesn't think he's heard you be so silent ever. he hums as his response, and you take in a deep breath before asking yet another question. "can you get me a blanket from my room? it's always cold in here.."

chenle nods even though you can't see. "okay, and which door is yours?" he's afraid of accidentally walking into the wrong room, he's heard your roommate isn't exactly the easiest to get on good terms with.

"the one at the far end of the hall" you stretch the final letter of the word 'hall', your sighs endless.

chenle mutters a small response and turns on his heel to make his way towards your room. he hears you let out another sigh, your fatigue following closely behind him as he opens the door.

when he does enter, instead of immediately doing what you asked, he allows for himself to get engrossed in the scenery of your room. the posters which litter the walls, your many fencing awards, medals, trophies, certificates. the photos on your shelves containing some familiar faces, there's one with you and jaemin that chenle can only assume was from way before university.

oh, so they do go that far back.

your room is adorable, it isn't exactly big, but you mastered how to make due with the space you were given. he glances at your bed, and he grabs a good enough blanket, heading back to the living room.

"you're a blessing zhong chenle" you say when he lays the blanket over you, watching as you let your body relax.

chenle stares, simply watching the way you shuffle against your couch. "it's really no problem, sleep well".

"what?"

chenle snaps his head towards you. "sleep well y/n, i'm leaving".

"you can't leave!" you open your eyes, staring at him incredulously. "what happens if i get attacked while you're gone!?"

chenle deadpans, you cannot be serious right now. "you're not getting attacked while i'm gone, y/n, that makes no sense".

you cross your arms, clearly not as completely sober as chenle thought you were. "i need for someone to stick by me, just until wonjin comes back!"

wonjin. oh, that must be your roommate. "and when is he gonna come back exactly?"

"i don't know" you put your own hand on your forehead, wincing at the heat that you feel. "he's a wild card.. kind of".

chenle sighs, of course you're starting with something again. "i can't stay y/n, i really have to get home".

no. he doesn't. he doesn't have to get home. the only real reason would be daegal, who his brother graciously stole for the weekend. he doesn't live with anyone else, so he isn't exactly going home to anyone. he doesn't know why he said that, he just lied to lie.

"no you don't".

you're correct, but chenle wants to remain stubborn. he sucks his teeth, irritated at the pure truth. "just for a few minutes?" you ask, putting on pleading eyes as you stare at the other standing at the arm of the couch. "please? you don't have to stay for long, just until i sleep".

now how can chenle deny that? he can pretend he isn't in love with you while others are around, he can act like the flirting doesn't affect him in the hallways, he can act like nothing's there in the bright light of the day, but now? now? while you're staring at him with pleading eyes? how could he ever deny you?

"i— fine.." chenle sighs, hands dropping at his sides as he steps closer, sitting down beside you on the couch. he doesn't lie down just yet, he isn't that tired. "now will you sleep?"

you nod quickly. "much better, good night".

you rest your head against your couch, snuggling against the blanket as your hand reaches over to take chenle's, intertwining your fingers together. "thanks for staying with me.. you're a good friend".

chenle keeps silent, but you still aren't asleep, because you snort in response to your own words. "sorry, enemy, we're enemies".

chenle gives a chuckle in response. "yep, mortal enemies".

you give a dismissive wave with your free hand, laughing again. "okay okay, i love you, good night" you let your hand drop and keep your eyes closed as you slowly begin drifting off into a slumber.

chenle again pauses.

you what?

his cheeks flare up, just the small confession distracting him enough, your thumb caresses the back of his palm, and the touch amplifies the red of his cheeks.

you love him.

well that's nice.

THE SUNLIGHT PEAKING IN THROUGH THE NEARBY window earns a small wince from chenle, eyes begging to remain shut as the light shines against his eyelids. he shuffles— or, he tries his best to shuffle with the lack of space he's in, a small groan escaping his lips as he tries to wake himself. he goes through an inward battle of trying to adjust his eyesight whilst also attempting to avoid the direct light of the sun, taking a few moments of squinting until he can finally open his eyes, adjusting to his surroundings as he begins to fight the fatigue in his body. oh he is such a fucking liar. he agreed to just a few minutes right beside you, and he fell asleep, right beside you. he woke up before you, and your soft snores become all he hears in the room. "oh my god" chenle massages his own temples, cursing under his breath.

you're still asleep, just barely awaken from your seemingly good dreams as chenle takes in a deep breath, rubbing the exhaustion from his eyes with one hand.

he stares down at your sleeping figure, your hair too messy, cheeks rosy red, and your other hand still holding his, squeezing. he snickers silently, and you must not have been that deep asleep, because you shuffle against your couch.

chenle lets go of your hand to rummage for his phone, and you let out a small sound of defiance as you feel his fingers slip from yours.

he almost laughs again, watching the way your eyebrows furrow. 09:14 am. wow, he doesn't remember the last time he slept that long.

"good morning.." you mutter, though you keep your eyes closed. chenle narrows his own eyes, amused by the sight. you feel around until you grab his hand again, intertwining your fingers. "i'm tired".

"yeah?"

"..and it all hurts".

chenle sighs, unable to get away from your hand squeezing his. "you have ibuprofen or something?"

"i just need to.." you pause, finally getting up, somehow without letting go of chenle's hand. "like walk around for some hours" you wave your free hand dismissively, and when chenle sends you a look, you clear your throat. "sometimes i can just walk in circles and get rid of a hangover".

chenle scrunches his nose, and you laugh at the face he gives you. "i'm not sure why it works that way either, it just does".

"you're a strange guy".

you hum, running a hand through your tousled hair. you two stay silent for a moment, staring at each other. "so you stayed over, huh?"

chenle again scrunches his nose, his cheeks flaring up. "i didn't mean to fall asleep.." he mutters, stubbornness immediately on display. "i was tired".

"aww, you didn't stay for me?"

"don't make me vomit, y/n".

you stick out your tongue, jumping off the couch and dusting off your clothes. "you gonna stay around or would you like for me to walk you out?"

"let me settle into the morning air first.."

"okay weirdo".

chenle almost scoffs, there's no way you're calling him weird, you're as weird as jaemin. maybe that's why, weird people can't grasp their own weirdness, they see it all as completely normal.

"you don't have a shitty hangover do you?"

you shake the bottle of ibuprofen then grab a bottle of water, taking the medication as if simply programmed to do it. you narrow your eyes, picking up on chenle's staring problem. "you stare a lot, huh?"

chenle snaps out of his dissociative state, realizing you asked him a question. "oh no i'm fine, i didn't even try to drink that shitty alcohol".

you snicker, putting the medication away and walking towards the bathroom. "you're simply a little too uptight".

"uptight? how did anyone drink that?"

you shrug from where you are, your voice echoing from the bathroom. "jinyoung is pretty convincing" chenle hears the sink water start running, assuming that you're brushing your teeth.

"not enough for terrible drinks".

chenle rises from his place, trudging behind you towards the bathroom. he stands in the doorway and watches you, he doesn't know why he's so interested in watching you do even the simplest of things, there's simply something about you that makes the simplest of tasks so compelling to watch.

you again catch his eyes, spitting out your toothpaste. "you definitely have a staring problem".

chenle sighs, how is he even supposed to argue with that? he is quite literally proving to you that he has a staring problem.

he doesn't really have one, though, it's just with you that he can't help but stare.

he can't exactly respond to that one, and a smirk shows on your lips, you've rendered him speechless. "oh.. am i right?"

chenle's scoff is stubborn, his arms folding over his chest, there's tease in your voice that makes red spread across his cheeks. "you aren't, i just constantly need to be around someone.."

what a reasonable lie that you clearly buy! you simply roll your eyes in response, he really just lies like it's nothing. you clasp your hands behind your back, lips turning up. "why do you lie to me so much? do i make you nervous or something?"

and it's not like you step closer, you simply stand there with your hands behind your back, a tormenting smile playing on your lips. you aren't doing anything, but chenle's legs feel weak, you're simply standing and smiling, it's nothing crazy, but you are crazy, what gives you the right to stand and smile like that at chenle?

"don't flatter yourself".

you raise an eyebrow, smile permanent. god you look so kissable right now, maybe chenle should give into his desires and lean in.

but he doesn't, he simply scowls, feigning irritation at your lack of action. "sorry, forgot we're mortal enemies and all".

you whistle, hands shoving into your pockets and walking past chenle. "you want me to walk you out now?"

chenle turns as your shoulder brushes against his, following behind you to the door. "you don't have to".

you open your front door, motioning with your head. "i technically already did!" oh so you're trying to be a smart ass, how funny. chenle's face falls, and your lips turn up as his turn down.

"you're so annoying".

"i'm simply here to entertain" you sing, gently pushing chenle out of your dorm. "have a good day enemy!"

and chenle would've flipped you off if he wasn't distracted by your smile.

CHENLE LETS HIS STUBBORNNESS CARRY THROUGHOUT the week, even while you two see each other, occasionally talking, occasionally staring longingly (that's more on chenle's part, you have such intriguing facial features, and not in a creepy way). he definitely does not have dreams about kissing you, about going on dates, or even about you two being a real couple, that would be ridiculous, zhong chenle does not have a crush, and he especially does not have a crush on you. yes the evidence looks pretty undeniable, his stares linger too much, his eyes linger too much, especially on your lips, he practically itches to hold your hand when you two are in public, the whole "mortal enemies" thing becoming an inside joke for you two. you seem perpetually oblivious to chenle's stares, or maybe you're just acting, it's getting a bit difficult to tell.

the rise in romantic tension doesn't help the rumors that were already up in the air, because the more chenle stares at you like he wants to eat you (in very figurative and literal ways), the more people just make assumptions about what exactly is going on between you two.

to be fair, they die down in whispers, but not in speculation. chenle can't even glance at you without another post popping up on heeseung's (frankly terrible) gossip blog about how he's obsessed.

and maybe there's some truth there (but chenle would never admit that, he can't give lee heeseung credence, he actually likes himself), but no one should ever know that, and hopefully you don't, he knows you don't read all the shit online. you do enjoy completely irritating chenle, though, he doesn't remember the last day he had that wasn't fueled by your annoying rants.

now, it's become mundane for you to be everywhere, and though it's never uttered, chenle really doesn't mind. he finds your presence to be enjoying, you entertain him like no other.

so no matter how much he tries to feign stubbornness, he loves your company. it's amazing how someone so annoying could also be someone so entertaining, and so.. well— beautiful too.

it's strange how easily you two fall into a rhythm of just existing together. chenle feels as if his life would be stranger if you weren't showing up abruptly for another strange conversation to follow.

it does become friendship, yes, but you two never say it. there's a peculiar romantic line there that you guys never bring up, there are too many almost kissing moments that never actually amount to kissing. chenle thinks you must be playing with him, psychologically torturing him. you fucking know, he can see it in your stupid smile.

but he doesn't say anything, not wanting to think he's getting it all wrong. if there's something chenle has learned about you, it's that you're unpredictable, and seeing as how you usually act with your other friends, being super affectionate is naturally your thing.

chenle doesn't want to seem stupid, it would be so embarrassing if the feelings he's spent a good few months trying to ignore turned out to be unrequited.

"is this your idea of a dat— oh my god you have a puppy!?"

your voice pitches up as you catch sight of daegal, cooing at the puppy who barked as she saw you enter. chenle glances at you, your eyes practically shining as you stare at his dog. he barely bites back his smile. "this is daegal, she's my daughter".

you kneel down to get a closer look at the adorable puppy, lips jutted into a pout. "hi daegal! how are you?"

though she's a little hostile at first, she takes one step forward, and you ruffle her hair, earning an excited yelp. you look like your about to burst into tears with how adorable she is, and you cast your eyes at chenle. "she's so cute chenle.."

"are you gonna cry?"

you shake your head, but chenle still isn't convinced. "i love her, i should come here more often!" daegal makes a sound you take as agreement, and you gasp again.

"oh wow, you're already replacing me with my dog?"

"absolutely" daegal jumps into your arm, and you melt into the feeling. you close your eyes, basking in the air of chenle's dormitory. "she likes me more than you do".

chenle narrows his eyes, but he can't even pretend to be pissed, because you simply look so ecstatic, how could he even be mad?

"okay baby, come here" he doesn't even have to move his hand, but daegal leaps out of your arms to circle around chenle. "you can't just steal y/n from me" he teases, carrying her in his arms as he makes his way over to his room.

he hears your overdramatic gasp in the distance, the words certainly surprising. "did i just hear what i think i heard!?"

you're practically hopping as you follow behind chenle towards his room, barely able to contain your own excitement. "oh my god you like me!"

chenle snaps his head towards you, a piercing (yet faked) glare in his eyes. "no dummy, were mortal enemies".

"i heard that~" you sing, turning on your heel to glance around chenle's room. "you just always have that large stephen curry poster on your wall?"

"he's my idol" chenle places daegal on his bed, she immediately curls up beside one of his pillows and settles, relaxing.

"seems like an obsession".

"you don't get stephen curry like i do".

you stare incredulously, a small smile on your face. you place your chin onto chenle's shoulder, watching his once serene expression become one of irritation, his eye twitching. "maybe not, but i definitely get you now".

chenle raises an eyebrow, silently questioning those words in the reflection of his mirror. he blinks, almost afraid to catch your eyes, but he already has, he's staring at your spitting image right now.

you peel yourself on him, a dramatic sigh falling from your lips as you stare, hands on your hips. "how long have you had a crush on me?"

chenle narrows his eyes. "excuse me?"

"come on! give me an honest answer! i won't laugh, i like you too you know, it's honestly kind of cute—"

"y/n".

you pause, chenle knew you were about to begin a ramble, so you shut up, angering him not really being on your list of things to do. you give him the stage to speak his mind, and he deadpans at you. "you are so annoying".

"does that mean you do have a crush on me?"

he stares, fighting the smile that threatens to break on his face. "you are so annoying, it's stupid how i have a crush on you, it's so dumb! you're so annoying but it's also what makes you endearing, and charming, and cute and fuck you!"

and maybe chenle does spit such hurtful words, but he doesn't mean them. his face is unbearably red, cheeks heated to the max, it's embarrassing that he's admitting this to you, now all he has left to do is kill himself and change the trajectory of your life forever.

you stare for a moment, and then you begin laughing, small giggles falling from your lips in such a rapid pace chenle is afraid you'll die.

"you always tell people you like them by shouting?"

"you're so annoying".

"is that your way of saying you love me?" you ask, stepping closer with your hands clasped together. "maybe we should talk about it".

"do you want me to die..?" he mutters, face still incredibly hot. he glares again, but he can't even keep his composure. "i'll take back that confession".

"aww, i like it when you yell at me though".

chenle shoves you backward, yet he smiles anyway. you're so annoying, but maybe there's allurement sprinkled in that he can't exactly ignore. "i fucking hate you.." he mumbles.

you again stare, simply pure adoration in your eyes. you again step closer, fingers grazing his jaw in gentle swipes along the edges. you pause, uncharacteristically silent. "can i kiss you?"

chenle stops. oh! well he didn't expect for this to happen now. he looks up, staring for much too long, thinking for much too long. "i— um, yeah.. yes".

the response fizzles into the air, overtaken by the influx of your cherry flavored chapstick, his bottom lip caught between your teeth as your finger draw shapes into his hip. chenle didn't guess this one, maybe it's because he always bites first, but then again, unpredictability is a thing with you.

your teeth scrape against the plush, pink skin, not rough enough to draw blood, you have courtesy. the action produces just the slightest hint of a whimper from chenle, what a fuel to your ego.

when you two pull away for air, chenle's first move is to avoid eye contact. you giggle at the sight of his cherry red cheeks, your fingers still graze his jaw, slowly turning his head in your direction. "hi".

maybe chenle's smile is too wide, but he's done giving a fuck. he begins fiddling with the zipper of your sweater, trying to distract himself. you again laugh, seemingly amused by his actions. "let's not do this before i take you on a date" you whisper, implications high in the air.

chenle's cheeks again flare up, and much too easily as well. "you think i wanna sleep with you right after we just kissed?"

"people are strange.. and you are people".

"you think i'm moving too quick" chenle pokes your cheek, resisting the urge to place a kiss onto it, maybe not now. you hum happily, intertwining your fingers.

"i didn't say it, let me treat you before sex".

the words are much too honest, but chenle loves honest. it's so stupid, you're so stupid. "what makes you think we're having sex?"

"oh just wait".

chenle frowns, eyebrows furrowing. "that sounds like a threat" he states, scratching behind his ear.

you whistle again, hands behind your back as you laugh. "you've definitely said worse, i'll treat you well".

you hold your hand out again, and chenle takes it without any hesitation, basking in the feeling of your soft hands on his own. "okay, i'm holding you to that, if you fail i'll hang your head on my wall".

you snicker, nudging him. "see? you are worse! it's obvious!"

chenle scowls, but it's so lighthearted that he can't even call it a scoff anymore. "you're so annoying".

you tug at his hand, a small act of defiance. "thank you, enemy".

your fingers slip from chenle's, and he can't fight his smile. you're so annoying, yes, but you're also so pretty.

"CAN YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE YOU WANT to kill me?" if chenle thinks about it, you really are jaemin's twin. jaemin's stare is reminiscent of the ones you share with chenle whenever he glares, arms crossed, nose scrunched. jaemin's lips turn downward into a frown, a frown that directly copies yours, wow, you two are simply carbon copies of each other, no wonder you're such good friends. chenle finds it weird that almost anything can remind him of you now, considering you two have only been dating for two weeks (where did all the time go?), his terrible staring problem hasn't gotten any better anyway, he can stare at you with free reign whenever he wants to. it's too hard to be stubborn when he's so obvious, especially because you could just raise an eyebrow and he'd crumble (only a little though, not all the way).

"how else am i supposed to stare at you?" chenle's eyes hold a certain distaste, and jaemin lets out a loud, overdramatic sigh. "do you always have to ask me stupid questions?"

his hands fall at his sides, an action that chenle judges in it's entirety. "jeno would treat me better than this.."

"go sit with him then".

chenle doesn't have to tell him twice, he stomps his feet like a baby and trudges towards where jeno sits. he can barely stifle his laughter, something about jaemin's stupid way of responding to things is amusing.

chenle might just leave right now, it's not like this is one of the games that one of jaemin's random friends is playing at, this is simply a random volleyball game for a team he doesn't really care about (with no offense to the players).

his hands scratch at the fabric of his pants, he's only here because he decided to give into jaemin's incessant begging. oh screw na jaemin.

"this fucking sucks.."

"is this becoming your thing?"

chenle startles, jumping from his spot with a small squeak. he then relaxes when he sees you, a glare settling in his eyes. "you need to stop doing that" he responds, and you snicker, completely amused. "i didn't think you were coming".

"i was looking for you" you whisper, hands behind your back. "since when is jaemin so convincing to you?"

"he isn't, he's just annoying".

"wonder where i've heard that before" you feign thought, tapping your finger onto your chin. your lips turn up as you catch chenle roll his eyes, he's simply so easy to irritate. "you're so mean to me".

"that's my job".

you gasp, hand placing itself over your heart. "you just stole my cue".

i've unconsciously begun taking up some of your habits too, what the fuck is up with that?

the words aren't said, though. chenle simply reaches over and takes your hand, deciding to not say the obvious. you stare for a moment, then your lips turn up in their usual manner.

"that happens when i spend so much time around you" he tugs you forward by your hand, practically pressing you against him. "i'm picking up your annoying habits".

"is annoying your favorite word?"

"annoying is what you are".

you narrow your eyes, swinging your laced hands back and forth. "but you love me" you sing, much too enamored to even be bothered by his insults.

chenle scoffs, but he doesn't deny, simply squeezes your hand. it's difficult to care about anyone else when you're right here, even the people who send you weird looks (which is strange considering everyone already thought you were dating before you actually were, why is it weird that you two are holding hands?).

he shakes his head. "absolutely not".

you frown, that sick, sad frown that is just much too convincing. there's no reason for you to look so sad so flawlessly, chenle wants to punch you in the face. it's how he'll show his love for you.

the game won't start for a long time, he probably would've died of boredom if you hadn't shown up. "hey you wanna go?"

chenle glances at you. "go where?"

"literally anywhere but here" you state, nudging him with your shoulder. "i won't bore you much, i swear".

chenle sighs, he has no argument for that, he would rather be anywhere but here. "if jaemin texts you, don't answer".

you snicker at that, looking down at the ground. "he's going to think you killed me or something" you mutter, just lightly shuddering at the cold air that hits you both as you exit through the door.

"maybe i will" he responds, his rings would usually clash against your hand if not for the feeling being so mundane. "i have to rip you away from daegal, she's getting too used to you".

"is threatening to kill me your way of showing love?"

chenle stares for a moment, simply basking in everything. your intertwined fingers, the cool evening air, the comfort of it all, maybe chenle isn't exactly all that mad at jaemin, you're right here beside him, talking your ass off, and he laughs, it's all so funny. "sometimes you piss me off".

"i'm hoping you said that with love".

it's gotten much too difficult to successfully act serious around you, you're too funny. "of course i did, stupid".

you raise an eyebrow, an action that makes chenle sigh. you have to know that's his weakness, it's much too easy to get him. "say it, please?"

chenle cannot believe the audacity you have. you greatly piss him off, you bat your eyelashes as you patiently wait for him to confess his love to you.

chenle lets out a loud, exasperated breath. you're so annoying.

"i love you".

your face lights up, cheeks flaring at the confession. you press a kiss to chenle's cheek, enamored.

"i love you too".

[jennas-stuffs]

our little secret: mission impossible

TW: unprotected sex, piv, fingering, hickey-making, nipple-sucking, brief head (fem receiving), fluff, fem reader.

authors note: this is my first time writing smut so i’m definitely open to tips and constructive criticism 😭

i can’t believe i’m saying this but im actually excited about a college class this year. i’ve always loved criminology, i watched basically every tv series there is containing it growing up. so it’s safe to say i didn’t hate the actual subject my last three years, i just hated the professor. ok sure i doze off every now and then but i know my stuff. it’s just that, he doesn’t believe i do. just because he’s some super genius only a year older than me and already teaching people doesn’t mean that he gets to be the only smart one. enough about him because my complaints have finally been heard and the administration finally finally let me switch classes. i can finally be rid of him. i walk into class with my head up high only to find my posture slump down and my smile fade into a frown.

“hello again y/n, you didn’t think you would get rid of me that easily huh?”

what the actual fuck. what the fuck happened.

“i thought i was switching classes.” i say with my jaw shut tight

“i promised the admins that they wouldn’t have to do all that because i would make it work. also it doesn’t look too good for me when one of my students transfers out my class because we were having ‘altercations.’

the sound of every word out of his mouth is almost identical to the sound of nails on a chalkboard. i nod so he can shut up and angrily stomp to a seat. out of spite, i nap my way through his class and to my surprise i wake up to the sound of the bell signaling my next class. i wake up confused, “why didn’t he wake me up? he always does, he loves disturbing my beauty sleep.” i shake it off and pick up the class paperwork i’ll have to make up along with my homework. a week passes by with undisturbed sleep, this is just getting weird. maybe this is what he meant by making it work. if it is, i’ll have to stay i expected more from him. hes so professional and strict, as would anyone expect coming from an ex-fbi agent. i mean this guy literally saw people die in front of him, and didn’t one of the serial killers set him up to be put in jail? what does he think he’s doing letting me sleep in his class? i should confront him. if he wants me in his class, he’s gonna have to earn it. he thought he could have the easy way out with me, oh no no no. i make a plan to set an appointment with him at the end of the day.

his office is neat and organized like i expected. too bad his freakishly tidy desk is gonna get a glimpse of this sleep deprived, angsty, college student.

we sit down and he quickly releases an exhale.

“so i’m assuming this meeting is about our non-existent altercations, because your grades are great, y/n. i haven’t started a feud just yet so what’s going on?”

i stand up rapidly, pushing my seat backwards. i slam my hand on his desk, leaving a mark on his papers, not like i care though.

“good job figuring that one out professor genius. so listen up. if you think just letting me sleep thorough your class is gonna prevent me from complaining to the admins again, think again. you probably think this is the easy way out so you don’t have to actually work it out with me well guess what. that’s extremely unprofessional. and in all honesty i expected more from you. im disappointed, professor reid. i guess your retired days from the fbi really tore you down huh? you don’t have that same spark in you- you”

“i know about your nightmares y/n.”

…

“what?”

“i’m retired from the fbi, correct. from the behavioral analysis unit. i can still profile people you know. from what i’ve noticed, you barley get any sleep and run on coffee. the work you miss in class you use as an excuse to stay up late at night to procrastinate on the sleep you know will wake you up in cold sweat the next morning. the only good sleep you seem to get, is the one in my class. see, i used to mind the fact that you were just sleeping though my lectures but it’s never interfered with your grade. so, i figured since it’s your last year of college and all i would allow my period to be your nap time.”

…

i sit down shamefully and shrink in my seat. i’m so embarrassed. he was just trying to help me and i snapped at him. i feel like an idiot.

“im so sorry. and thank you. thank you so much.”

one more word and i’ll burst out crying. i quickly pick up my bag and head for the door. but my wrist is grabbed by a warm hand.

“wait, y/n?”

i turn around to meet his eyes and pray he doesn’t notice the extra liquid in them.

i clear my throat, “yes professor reid?”

my wrist hasn’t been released yet.

“are you getting help for the- you know.”

“um i used to when i was little and it helped and they went away, but it came back.”

“when?”

“since i started college.”

“can you sit back down please, i just want to talk.”

here he is being so helpful and i’ve been hating him this whole time. when he wasn’t worried for my grades, he was worried for my sleep, and when he isn’t worried for my sleep, he’s worried for my mental health. i feel like such a petty bitch.

my wrist is released and we sit down.

we talk for hours and hours and he tells me stories of when he was an agent. i’ve never laughed so much in my life. we trade in our top worst and best moments in our lives when he realizes…

“wait so, sorry, if this is crossing a line and feel free to not answer but you’ve had boyfriends. but you’ve never had sex?”

“yeahh that’s accurate. it��s just everytime i think about someone seeing me naked i just get tense, like, just the thought of it makes me squirm.”

“so you have body image issues?”

“woww way to be slick with that one profiler, but sure, i guess.”

he laughs. and this laugh was different from all the other ones because it was this laugh i realized i don’t hate his voice anymore. it actually sounds, nice.

“so you’re telling me you’ve tried everything, all your therapists have given you medication and nothing really stuck?”

“i’m a lost cause doc.”

“don’t say that.”

…

“you know you haven’t tried everything.”

“sex makes me barf. no way.”

“hey a pretty girl like you can easily find some college guy to mess around with. don’t be so closed minded y/n.”

“mhm because you’ve had so much experience.”

his face goes pink.

“how did you know?”

“what? no i was kidding. wait. you’ve never had sex either? YOU HYPOCRITE!”

“it’s much easier said than done.”

“hey, a handsome guy like yourself can easily find some girl to mess around with. don’t be so closed minded professor.”

“spencer”

“what?”

“in my office, you can call me spencer”

“okay, spencer, how about we make a deal.”

“what kind of deal?” he says with a raised eyebrow

“the first to have sex is the better person because they are not a hypocrite.”

“that sounds like mission impossible but. ok. fine. deal.”

“REALLY? i was just joking but OKAY DEAL.”

we shake hands and i go back to my dorm and sleep. i slept, better, that night.

we check in with each other everyday to see if the other person won yet.

“has mission impossible been completed professor?”

“nope. what about you y/n?”

“nope.”

that’s not all we did, though. we went out to cafes to talk about life and how us virgins are channeling that sex energy into some other thing. seeing professor reid, i mean spencer, outside of school was weird. all of sudden his eyes were easier to look into. i just couldnt get enough of them. it was like i was drowning in them. don’t get me started on that voice paired with that cute face. i could just snuggle myself up into each word that came out of his mouth. but we had that same check up conversation everyday after class for a whole month until…

“hey y/n?”

“yeah?”

“are you free by the end of the day i wanna talk to you in my office”

“what happened to meeting up at the cafe? wait. did i miss an assignment? i’m so sorry i’ll make it up i swear.”

he smiles and laughs. that beautiful laugh. “no no i just wanna talk in a more private setting. you know how people can eavesdrop in cafes.”

“oh yeah sure i’ll see you then.”

“see you.”

WHY DID I SAY SURE? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME. THAT WHOLE REASON WHY I NEEDED US TO BE IN A CAFE WAS BECAUSE IT WAS PUBLIC. i can’t help myself when i see him. i know it’s wrong because he’s my teacher but he’s just a year older? i’m trying to justify these feelings for him but i can’t. i can’t help it. he’s so nice to me and i don’t deserve it, i just wanna repay him. no,nonononono. i can’t. not in that way. i have a meeting with him and it’s in his office so it’s strictly professional.

…

“hey y/n”

“hi professor”

he raises an eyebrow.

“hi spencerr, ” i say as i roll my eyes.

“ok good so uh.”

he pulls his chair and adjusts mine so that we’re sitting face to face, with no desk in the middle. god, this is gonna be a long meeting for me.

“i think we’re gonna have to switch your class”

“what?! why! we just started getting along don’t ruin it now!”

truthfully, i wouldn’t mind. all this tension i felt would definitely tone down if i didn’t see him so much. but i wanna see him, i love the butterflies he give me. it’s just so annoying i can’t do anything to ‘relieve’ them.

“well we’re just too friendly now, there’s barley any teacher-student boundaries.”

“are you serious. YOU’RE THAT ONE THAT INSISTS I CALL YOU BY YOUR FIRST NAME.”

he smiles “it’s not only that”

“you’ve chewed up my heart by making me switch classes, so, spit it out.”

“i think i like you.”

my heart feels like it’s gonna pop out of my chest, my pussy throbes and my stomach get butterflies. i get this overwhelming feeling of kissing him. but i can’t. we can’t. we shouldn’t. i look to the door and i look back at him. i stand up and walk up to the door, and lock it. i close the blinds and look at him.

“i like you too spencer.”

he grabs me by the waist and pins me to the door. we’re half a centimeter away from each others lips. looking at each others eyes and looking back down at each others lips.

“we shouldn’t.”

he nods, “we shouldn’t”

we slam each others lips against each other, making me let out the dirtiest of moans. he looks down on me and watches me unfold underneath him.

“you’re just a hot mess for me hm?”

i whimper and notice the throbbing feeling in my pussy intensify. it’s a hot steamy make out scene in his pretty little office, and i wonder how badly we can mess it up.

“spencer?” i gasp, barley having enough breath between kisses.

“fuck. say my name again please y/n.”

i moan, “spencer”

“again baby”

i cry out “spencer”

he says in his sweet voice “yes y/n?”

“fuck me.” i say in a whimper

and with those two words he kicks off his shoes and kisses me again. i mirror him taking off his clothes, working is way down, and up. once we’re both completely stripped he takes a second to look me up and down.

“you’re beautiful. all this time you’ve been hiding this?”

he bends his knees in front of me and kisses my breasts. i giggle at the feeling it gives me, similar to a tickle. he is just so sweet it melts me. while making out we move to his desk, where he pushes all his papers to the floor. he lays me down and my skin winces at the coldness of the wood. he’s sucks on my top lip, bottom lip, my jawline, my neck, my collarbone, making his way down to my nipples. i whimper, feeling his tongue go around in circles. i let out a loud moan, almost a scream, and notice the sudden arch my back went into when he starts to suck. he plans to leave every intimate place on my body with a hickey.

“you wanna leave marks on me spencer?”

he nods, making his way to the other nipple.

it’s just the sound of my whining and his sucking in his office, he breaks the silence for a second.

“i wanna show everyone you’re mine.”

then immediately goes back to sucking.

“my neck shows that enough-mm- spencer.”

“spencer… ohh spencer”

“yes y/n”

“feel me.”

that seems to have gotten him to stop sucking and he sticks to fingers up my throbbing pussy. i whimper at the motion.

“so wet, all of this for me?”

“mhm all for you”

he moves his fingers up and down, making me become a moaning, whining, whimpering, ‘hot’, mess again.

“spencer?”

“yes baby”

“i need you inside me.”

he looks down on me and suddenly the innocent light in his eyes disappear, witnessing a dark cloudy haze rolling in, covering his eyes.

“oh yeah?”

too far deep in the storm that is his eyes to speak, i simply nod. plus, that “oh yeah?” left me FOLDED.

he leaves a trail of kisses on my inner thighs, making me squirm. i feel the heat on his breath when he sticks out his tongue and sucks my core. he sits up and holds his dick, moving the the tip up and down against my folds.

“damn it spencer,” sounding like a whining brat, “stick it in already.”

he slams it in, thrusting forcefully, but slowly.

“faster.”

“yes baby”

i moan, grabbing his hair for support while my back arches even more, begging for more.

he speeds up, faster and faster, filling the office with the sound of unholy clicking, and not the type of clicking that comes from a clock. wet clicking.

i keep moaning his name…

“spencer, spencer, spencer?, oh fuck spencer, yes, please, fuck, fuck, spencer, i’m gonna cum im gonna cum, spencer.”

my head jolts back as he rails me through my orgasm.

…

now we’re laying on top of each other on his, now, filthy desk, covered in our cum and sweat. as we catch our breath i say unconsciously out loud,

“oh shit.”

i feel his laugh vibrating from his chest to mine.

“no, spencer, this is bad.”

“why?”

i sit up now realizing the mistake i made. he mirrors my action with a concerned expression.

“isn’t there some kind of rule in the university’s handbook that forbids students from having sexual relations with their teachers? i mean that’s considering that an average professor would be much older than them, usually it would be illegal anyways. do you think they would make some sort of exception? wait, do you think we’d have to tell them? will i get suspended? will you loose your job? oh my god, ok. so what if… what?”

he keeps staring at me rambling with a goofy smile plastered on his face that’s suppressing a laugh.

“whattt?”

“you know no one has to know about this, right?”

“but what if someone finds out?”

“y/n, what time did i have you come meet me in this office?”

“7pm”

“mhm.”

my eyes widen at the realization.

“ok so you made me come over when you knew the office would be closed just so you could confess your feelings to me, in your office, when the building was closed and everyone went back home?”

“yeah.”

“you know you could’ve just invited me over to your place. you didn’t have to make it so complicated.”

“well our situation is complicated, and if we want to continue to explore this ‘situation,’ we’re gonna have to be sneaky.”

i feel my face heating up.

“soo your likee my secret loverrrr”

he cracks a smile.

“i guess this’ll be our little secret.”

…

after we get back in our clothes and walk out together to our cars, he turns to me and says,

“hey y/n, have you completed mission impossible?”

“yup, what about you?”

“yeah, same.”

😱😱😱 THE END 😱😱😱

[ohbabydollie]

“i hope a ghost starts jerking me off” (the inspo)

tws: angst, mentioned death, ghost fucking?

“you know that apparently you can get fucked by ghosts?” ted asks laughing

“really? damn, i need the third dimensional pussy from n/n” schlatt says laughing as well “i haven’t gotten laid since we laid ‘em to rest” he says jokingly as ted laughs

“jesus, y/n is rolling in their grave right now” ted says “you think she would fuck you as a ghost or not?”

“think so” he says taking a swig of his whiskey as they continue the episode laughing and smiling

that’s how he’s been coping since your death, laughing and drinking, it makes him feel better and makes him forget

he hasn’t gone into your room either since you died, it hurts him too much to be surrounded by your scent, your things, your personality seeping through in your room

seeing glimpses of you as he walks through the house seeing decorations you bought, little gifts and trinkets you had gotten for him, it all hurts too much

tonight however he couldn’t resist

seeing a bra that was yours hidden underneath his bed that he found when he was drunkenly cleaning up

he couldn’t stop himself from getting the key to your room and opening the door

seeing the decorations made his heart squeeze, the room reflected your personality

it made him sob as he walked to the bed you kept in there for comfort, sitting down and looking around, seeing all the lamps for ambiance lighting and the little trinkets

he turned on the lamps and turned off the ceiling light before laying down, immediately smelling your scent on the pillow and inhaling deeply

it smelled like you, like home, like comfort

he was surrounded by the smell of you as he sighed, realizing he had started feeling tired, slowly falling asleep

“schlatt”

he opened his eyes at the sound of your voice calling his name, only to see nothing before moving around and going back to sleep

“schlatt~”

he heard your voice again, probably going crazy from his grief, he ignored it and continued to drift off and waking up a few hours later

“2:59 am, fuck” schlatt said groggily looking at the clock on your nightstand

he sits up and stretches yawning, not meaning to have fallen asleep in your room and starts looking around before seeing you sitting at your desk

you aren’t working, more like just sitting there observing him, it’s almost enough to make him cry.

“n/n?” he asks softly looking at you

he wants to think it’s his imagination, that the alcohol has finally taken over his mind and he’s going crazy

it looks like you, just see through, just like you did the day you died still beautiful, still lovely

“my poor husband” the voice said softly as schlatt felt himself tear up “you’ve lost yourself to your habit” you said grabbing his face softly and planting kisses on it

“n/n..” schlatt said wrapping his arms around your waist, careful to not go through you

“im here for you, don’t you worry one bit” you said softly pushing his body down to the bed, his hands on your waist as your body started to feel more human again, he could practically feel the warmth radiating from you. slowly he traced his hands down and slowly lifted the white flowy dress to reveal your pussy underneath, the exact same as he remembers it.

he groans from the sight alone, so desperate for you, pressing a kiss to your lips. you let out a soft moan as he pulls you into his lap.

he parts from the kiss to look up at you, for the first time in months he feels bliss entering his body, almost like you’re still there and he never lost you. it’s like you’re still there when you take his cock into your tight heat, his hips unable to control themselves at the feeling of you.

softly thrusting up to you causing a few moans slip out from between your lips.

he starts to tear up as he clings to your body, it feels so light and soft and warm and there

he doesn’t care that it could be the alcohol or the sleep deprivation or whatever it is making him see you. he just wants to feel you one last time, have you in his bed like it’s the first time.

he kisses you softly as he cums deep in you and passes out, clinging to your form.

the next morning he woke up to three harsh bangs on the door, almost enough to shake the house. he ran to open the door and saw there a basket with a blanket

inside there was a baby

[alittlebitofloveliness]

The Outsiders and Attachment

Ohhhhhkay y'all I finished my human development final two hours ago (we love exams that end at 10pm) and I'm currently functioning on two hours of sleep and and a wee bit of hysteria but part of my cramming studying today was focused on attatchment styles and it was super easy for me to link these to the outsiders so here you go (Im sleep deprived and a psych nerd so this might get rambly and chaotic and hard to follow and LONG- you have been warned)

Ok SO first a shit ton of background info because I love psych. Basically there was this experiment conducted by this psychologist lady Mary Ainsworth and her goal was to measure and catalogue attatchment in infants so she set up this 'strange situation' experiment which (coles notes version) basically involved babies and their mothers being in a room and then leaving the kid alone with a stranger, mom returning, and then leaving the baby completely alone in the room, and they looked at all sorts of behaviour in these babies, things like levels of distress, whether they engaged with the stranger in the presence of their mom vs when they were alone, but the main thing they were interested in were the babies reactions upon being reunited with mom. Ainsworth observed 3 trends in babies and grouped them based on their behaviour.

Group A - babies who didn’t care if they were left with a stranger, and were uninterested in reunion with their mothers. A1 was babies with no interest with their mother, A2 was babies with slight interest in their mom and a desire to stay away from them

Group B—babies who may or may not have been distressed at separation, but were happy to be reunited with their mothers. B1 was babies not distressed at separation and slight interest at reunion, B2 was babies who were mildly distressed at separation, and approached caregiver at reunion, B3 was babies who were mildly distressed at separation and actively sought contact at reunion.

Group C – babies whose behaviour was not consistent at reunion (sometimes would engage with caregivers and then immediately run away). C1 was babies who were very distressed at separation, and C2 was babies who were very passive and did not respond at all to separation

*Note: mild distress would be whimpering and crying, very distressed would be like screaming and beating the ground with their fists kinda thing*

A N Y W A Y here's when things get interesting IMHO because these behavioural trends are the basis of our attachment styles

Group A babies have what's called an Anxious-Avoidant (also sometimes known as Dismissive) attachment style to their caregivers- these babies don't know if their caregiver will be retuning and they don't expect to be reunited. Parents of babies with this kind of attatchment style are visibly unhappy to be with their offspring and their resentment/displeasure is clear enough that babies as young as a few months old can pick up on it. Approximately 20% of babies fit this attatchment style

Group B babies have what's known as a secure attatchment style. They're your run of the mill happy babies, and their needs are met consistently enough by their caregiver that when their caregivers are out of sight, not only do they expect a reunion, they're happy to be reunited. This is most likely due to the aforementioned consistent care. A lucky 80% of babies fit this attatchment style.

Finally we have our Group C babies, who have an Anxious Ambivalent attachment style. Babies in this group have conflicting emotions to being left alone. (some babies might be screaming when the caregiver leaves, others are so apathetic as to have been considered unbothered by researchers). Babies with this attatchment style usually have caregivers who are unresponsive to their needs. These are babies who are abused or neglected, who have no sense of security or routine. apprximately 10% of babies fit this attatchment style.

*Also important to note that babies can have different attatchment styles with different people.*

ANYWAY so while I was studying earlier I sorted the outsiders characters based on what kind of attachment style I think they'd have as babies (fun fact- you often carry your initial attachment style with you throughout your life unless you consciously work to fix it)

Goup A (Anxious-Avoidant)- Steve & Tim Shepard

-Steve's mom split and we know his dad routinely kicks him out even though it isn't usually permanent. To me, it makes sense that his parents would do the bare minimum to make sure he was decently ok as a kid, but their resentment would be clear that even toddler steve could pick up on it. Thus we get sullen little Steve, who avoids or is indifferent to being left in a playpen by himself, and doesn't care when he is eventually picked up

-I like to think Tim Shepard's ma was a little different when he was a baby than when Curly and Angela were born, and while I don't think she was ever a great mom I think she might have given it a go, even though she wasn't the most attentive and was bitter about having him. Thus, Tim becomes another dismissive baby, who doesn't notice or care when he's left to his own devices

Group B (Secure) - The Curtis boys, Two-bit Matthews, Dallas Winston (to his mom)

-We know from the book the Curtis kids had a happy childhood, and that Two-bit's mom is lovely even though she works a lot. thus, we get healthy secure attatchments for these boys

-I like the headcannon Dally had a happy(ish) childhood and was a total mama's boy when his mom was still alive so I think he'd form a secure attachment to her at least.

Group C (Anxious-Ambivalent)- Curly & Angela Shepard, Johnny Cade, Dallas Winston (to his dad)

-This one involves little explanation. I think Curly and Angela (who I hc as twins) were definitely oops babies and by then the Shepards ma was too far into alcoholism and hatred to even attempt to parent, thus Angela and Curly never got used to her being around so the didn't notice when she wasn't. (The securest attatchment they formed was to Tim.)

-Johnny very clearly wouldn't form an attachment to either parent though I could see him being the type who's confused, especially when he was young, because I don't think the Cades were 100% horrible from day one. I think as a baby he would have never known if he was gonna get a cuddle or a kick, so he'd be the baby screaming when left alone, then running up to his parents and away when they came back to whatever room they'd left him in. Lots of turmoil and confusion poor thing, leading to the anxious-ambivalent attatchment

-We know Dally didn't like his dad, so I think an anxious ambivalent attachment, one characterized with a baby dally not noticing or caring when his father is around or when he leaves or returns to be the most likely of the attachment styles for him (i hc he was indifferent to him until dally got a bit older and mouthier and thats when the physical abuse started).

ANYWAY sorry this was so long I'm just a psych nerd who psychoanalyzes fictional characters for fun. If you actually read to the end of this bullshit you're a real one fr.

[bingo6776]

Amber Freeman x Reader

disgustingly unedited, ive never written for Amber freeman before but shes bae and hot so yk heyo. if theres any feedback or ideas, my asks or dm are open

probs ooc? again idek im just sleep deprived 

1.6k

You were tired.

You were completely and totally exhausted.

 You had barely slept last night after you had heard about the murders, another fuck face trying to make a name for themselves whilst hiding under the Ghostface mask. Why did you still live in Woodsboro? Fuck knows.

 You were scared shitless, who knew who the next victim was going to be? Whilst as far as you knew, you had no ties to the original Woodsboro murderers or actual reason to be targeted, that didn’t prevent the anxiety that consumed your entire being, feeling like you were edging closer and closer to a break down as said anxiety played ‘keep aways’ with your sleep.

 So yeah, its suffice to say that 8 hours of the barbaric education system was not good for your health, mental or physical.

 Hence, why you were more so dragging your feet than actually walking through the hallways. You didn’t even have the energy to dodge most of the students that were too caught up in their own worlds to pay attention to the fact that other people actually existed and wouldn’t just part like the red sea for them. Instead, you made a mental list of the all the people that slammed into your shoulder, swearing that one day you’d smite them down – the kind of thoughts only a sleep deprived, and still overly caffeinated person would have.

 All you wanted to do was go home, get into the baggiest, most homeless looking outfit you had and watch movies.

 And at some point spam Amber until she ‘caved’ (jumped in her car the first chance she got) and came over to indulge in your lazy evening.

 Which is why, when your eyes finally laned on your girlfriend, you felt some of your tension leave your body, a warmth filling its place.

 She was leaning up against one of the wall lockers, a scowl on her face as she watched Wes and Mindy argue you with one another, rolling her eyes occasionally as if they were something much more important she should be doing than listen to the childish bickering her friends had daily.

 As you shuffled closer to the group, you let a small smile tug at your tired features as Amber’s gaze landed on you, her bored, aggravated expression softening slightly at the edges as her face relaxed, her lips titling up slightly in a smirk instead of an actual smile.

 Amber Freeman may be soft as fuck for you, but she was very much still the dark, brooding Amber everyone else knew. Just with you, she was slightly warmer, less sharp edged.

 Once you had gotten close enough to the group, she wrapped an arm around your shoulder, the other hand simultaneously pulling your bag from you as she flung the backpack across her own shoulder, ignoring the teasing look from Mindy and the eye roll from Wes as he tried to reegange Mindy in their conversation.

 At seeing the way your body seemingly slumped in on itself, every movement taking more energy than it plausibly should, she placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

 “Is everything okay, my love?” she uttered lowly, looking at you with such an openly worried expression you almost melted on the spot.

 You simply hummed in response as you leant into her body, your face landing in the crook of her neck as your arms encircled her waist, “just tired.”

 “Aww, would you just look at these adorable little love birds we’ve got here?” you heard Mindy tease, no doubt a cocky grin on her face. If you actually cared, you’d pull yourself away from Amber’s grounding embrace to flip her off, but did you care? Honestly, not a single fuck was given.

 You were far too sleepy, and much more comfortable with the warmth Amber exuded to give a fuck about anything, actually.

 One of Ambers arms left you shoulders, probably doing the flipping off for you. “If you don’t shut the fuck up, and fuck off right now, I’m going to kill you,” the sweet voice Amber forced on made the threat seem even more haunting. “Very slowly.”

 You lightly poked at her side, you knew she’d never actually hurt one of her friends, but you’d spoken about the right time and place to threaten people with death. School after an attempted murder was most definitely not one of them.

 “C’mon, Amber, you know I could take your ass,” Mindy quipped, knowing full well that whilst you had wrapped yourself around the taller girl, Amber wouldn’t move a muscle until you let her go.

 “You fucking wish,” you girlfriend practically growled out. “You wouldn’t even last two minutes.”

 “Oh, yeah, wanna bet? Come at me right now then, if you’re so big and bad.”

 Sighing heavily, you placed a soft kiss on Amber’s neck. “I swear to all that is good and holy, if you even think about moving right now, I’m going to be the one killing you, do not test me.”

 Mindy could barely hold back the laugh that overtook her body at the murderous glare Amber shot her way instead of, well, actually shooting her – unbeknownst to Mindy it was a very real, and a rapidly growing, possibility.

 It was honestly comical to see the sarcastic and at times outright scary, Amber Freeman trying to intimidate the other girl, whilst you were clinging to her body like Amber was your saving grace, the only source of warmth in the middle of the Antarctic.

 Yet, as amusing as it was, even Mindy eventually got bored of the banter which eventually simmered to one sided taunts as you silently soothed Amber’s simmering anger. So, being the mature person Mindy believed she was, she wandered away to go see how riled up she could get her twin instead.

 Once you heard Mindy’s steps retreat in the emptying hallway, you pulled away slightly from Ambers body, keeping your arms around her waist.

 “You know, if you keep wishing death on your friends, people might start to think you’re the new Ghostface,” you looked up at her, eyes trailing how her lips drew up in a lazy smile, your eyes eventually locking onto her own, and the all too familiar feeling of falling into the dark orbs encompassed your body.

 “Please. Little old me? I wouldn’t hurt a fly,” her voice was gentle, her gaze soft as she slowly leant down, her lips grazing yours as she whispered the last of her sentence before she finally planted a soft kiss onto your waiting lips.

 it only lasted a few seconds before Amber pulled away, one of her hands running through your hair before landing at your neck. For a few seconds you just stood like that, arms around each other, letting the rare instance of quiet fall over you.

 You knew for sure that if you had walked in on such a seemingly intimate moment between another couple at school, you’d gag and cringe as you poured bleach into your eyes.

 But with Amber it was different, everything was just so overwhelmingly perfect that at times you found yourself wondering when it was all going to go shattering to the ground, leaving you heartbroken. As soon as those thoughts would take hold, Amber would be there. Whispering sweet nothings to you as she held you close.

 Before you fell too deeply into your thoughts, you felt Ambers arms leave your body, her hand clasping onto one of your own as your arms fell to your sides.

 “So, go ahead. Spill, what’s got you so tired today, hm?” she gently ran her thumb up and down your hand as you began walking towards the parking lot, where your friends where waiting before the group eft for the lunch period.

 “After everything that happened with Tara, its been hard to do anything, let alone sleep,” for a second you saw something flash across Amber’s face, but it was gone as quick as it had come, the only sign that anything had changed at all was in the way she pulled you close as she stopped walking.

 Placing a delicate kiss to the back of your hand, Amber tried to keep her voice steady, “as long as you’re with me, I promise you with every ounce of blood in my body that you’ll be safe,” she looked deeply into your eyes, trying to convey that she’d lay her own life down if it meant you could keep yours, “I’ll protect you.”

 Shocked by the sudden deepness to her words, a deepness you didn’t completely grasp, you only blinked up at her.

 After a beat of silence, you smiled up at her. “I know, I know. I trust you,” not liking the heavy silence that weighed on your shoulders, a far cry from the way you could both usually spend hours in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s presence, you smirked up at her, “plus, you know I’d have Ghostface on his ass before the bitch could blink.”

 A mischievous smile crept onto Amber’s face, “oh, really?” she jokingly leant back slight, as if she was assessing how likely that would be – you both knew it was complete bullshit, but hey, you never know right?

 “You best bet, bitch,” you resumed the walk to your friends, tugging your girlfriend behind you as she let out a loud laugh, the sound you rarely ever heard outside of the confines of one of your bedrooms leading you to laugh alongside her as people around you both gave you concerned look as the ever so stoic girl laughed in a way that sounded… free of sadistic intent?

 Yeah, Amber was most definitely a simp.

[karlwriting]

Asking for your forgiveness

Featuring- Gojo Satoru

Reblogs are appreciated :)

Warning- none, all fluff~

Art by teaforgods

It’s the fourth day not replying to Gojo’s phone calls and texts. You know it’s childish to avoid communication during an argument, but the fact that he suddenly disappeared for 3 days for a mission deeply hurts you. He could disappear without a word, then why couldn’t you?

‘Are we nothing serious? Despite all the times we spent together…?’ You lie on the couch, looking at the silver bangle that has ‘Satoru’s’ engraved. He gave it to you a long with a button on the day you both graduated. It’s the second button of his shirt, the one that lies the nearest to his heart.

While you are reminiscing about that precious moment, your phone vibrates. It’s Gojo calling again. You just stare at it until the unread texts reappear on your lock-screen.

“Babe please let me talk to you.” 06:44am

“Lets have a nice breakfast this morning and go for a walk together? Please i need to be with you, even a few minutes is enough for me.” 7:00am

“I’m sorry and I miss you… Please im going crazy now…” 7:25am

“It’s raining outside, remember to bring an umbrella with you when you are out.” 8:02am

It’s raining? Even the weather is the same as your mood.

Suddenly, a new message pops up.

“Babe, open the door please? I know you may not to see me, and it’s okay if you need more time to clear the knots on your mind. But please don’t kick me out of your life… let me take a glance of you, let me know that i can get you back…”

You ran to open the door, the white hair guy is standing in front of your house, all soaked. He seems tired and sleep-deprived, but a hint of joy sparks in his eyes the moment he sees you.

“Thank you for opening the door for me… And i am sorry for making you feel miserable, i finally understand how it feels to lose touch with someone irreplaceable. And how dare I make you experience such dreadful emotions…”

You can’t help crying all the emotions out. It’s not anger nor sadness that you feel right now, it’s a relief instead. A relief to know that Gojo Satoru cares as much as you do.

Seeing you cry is such a torture to Gojo. He Immediately pulls you into his arms with his chin gently placed on your head, mumbling “I’m so sorry”, “it’s okay I’m here now”, “i wont go anywhere”, “I’m such a bastard…”. A peck falls on your cheek between each guilty confession.

“So… Is forgiveness granted…?” The idea of gojo acting like 10 year-old begging for forgiveness makes you giggle a little.

“You are only 30% forgiven… ”

“What should I do to get a 100%? I’m not gonna turn my infinity on today, so punch me, stab me - or even kill me is fine. As long as I’m killed by you. I will literally do anything for my angel.” Gojo can’t think straight now, because he finally got to sniff the scent he has been longing for.

“Then… let’s have a nice breakfast and go for a walk together.”

“Yes please, and i would love to cook for us. Then i will explain everything.” Gojo has never thought that in his life, there will be a girl who holds so much power over him.

[littleracha]

im currently traveling a total of 19 hours by car, only stopping for the night 😵‍💫

im so sleep deprived and achey (sickly person here) and can only think about binsung taking care of reader in this same situation :( im so soft and sad. could you write something similar please?

Oh, little duckie! That must have felt awful. I am currently on vacation and doing the same thing, so I understand completely.

Please rest up hun! Lots of water and remember to eat.

Sweet Baby Otter

Cg!Changbin & CG!Han x Little!Reader

The boys were finally on vacation! They worked hard to debut 5-star and worked long nights away from home to give their everything to the fans. However Changbin and Han both missed their biggest fan, their little one back at home.

You told them when starting this relationship that you understood they were idols. It wasn't news to you that there were going to be many days and nights where you were by yourself. You ensured them that you would be okay, that you would be brave without Dada and Mama. However, being brave can be so taxing, your little and big hearts missed them every night. Regressing was getting to be difficult because it just made you feel worse. You never told them though, they could never know.

You were fast asleep in your bedroom. In a chokehold was the otter stuffed animal they gifted you, his name was Otto. Soon enough you felt Otto being removed from your arms and you being gently lifted into the air. You woke up with fright and yelled for your Mama and Dada.

"Shhhh baby, oh sweetheart we are right here" Jisung tried to calm you down before a panic attack broke out. "Mama is right here sweetie, and Dada is holding you, look." You looked down to see Binnie's smiling face. "Hello little one, Dada missed you so much!" He said as he began to smother your face in kisses, making you squeal in laughter.

"Dada Stop, icky!" You cried out but both your caregivers knew you were loving it.

"Yeah Bin, stop torturing our little one. If she dies now she won't get to go on our trip" Han said with a twinkle in his eyes. He loved how you instantly perked up at the word trip.

"Where Mama? Where we go?"

"Well Mama and Dada have the week off so we were going to go camping at the beach!" Han said as he squished your puffy morning face. Changbin could barely hold you as you wiggled with joy and excitement.

"Otto go to?" you asked with eyes as big as the moon.

"Yes little otter, Otto gets to go!" Changbin answered.

The first half of the car ride was fine. You were full of excitement and the boys were loving it but after lunch and a mandatory nap, you were beginning to feel bad again. The trip to the beach was much longer than you expected. Your legs were going numb, being in the back was making you sick, the a/c was both too much and not enough and to make it all worse you really had to potty.

Binnie noticed you were awake in his mirror and greeted you. "Good afternoon sleepy sunshine, how was your nap baby?"

"It was fine" you answered in a grumbly tone, which caught the attention of Han now as well. He and Binnie shared a worrying glance before he spoke.

"Just fine sweetie? Do you want Mama to put you back down for another one? Maybe you just didn't get enough sleep." Your heart broke at how concerned he was but you couldn't help but feel irritated.

"No, I slept enough Han, it's nothing" Han?!?! Not Mama? Not Sungie? Not even Hannie? But Han? Now they were both worried.

"Baby what's wrong, you can tell us." Binnie tried to reason with you but you couldn't tell them, you wouldn't tell them. They would blame themselves and you didn't want that.

"Guys I'm fine okay? Just a little car sick that's all" the collected coo they let out bothered you.

"Honey, we could pull over"

"No please keep going"

"but if you are sic--" "I SAID I'M FINE OKAY!"

With that Changbin pulled the car over. You instantly went from annoyed to scared. You never made them mad before. Maybe a small time out here or there but never mad. What was he going to do? Tears began to well up in your eyes.

Your door was opened and stood outside were your caregivers. Changbin reached in and unlatched your seatbelt, pulling you into his arms. He didn't say anything as he rocked you. A warm hand snaked up your back and rubbed smooth circles. Han spoke softly.

"Baby we don't yell, even if we are feeling fussy" He placed a small kiss on your temple. "Tell Mama and Dada what is making our perfect angel feel yucky."

"Just sick Mama" The whole thing made you slip again. You slipped so easily with them. You missed them.

"Sweetheart we know it's more than that. Did I make you upset, did Dada upset you, little one" It was Binnie's turn to speak and you heard the hurt in his voice.

"NO DADA!" You were quick to correct him which earned you a calming shush from both of them. "I no feels good"

"Where baby? Here?" Mama pointed to your belly.

"And here Mama" You pointed to your head.

"Is our baby not feeling good in their own head?" all you could do was nod. "Oh my sweet baby, what is your mean head saying to you?"

"It says it misses yous and that it no regress because can't do it byself. It also no likes being sick and feels like pukey. And and and it tired and wants to sleep but road bad. It wants to be at beach with Dada and Mama and not alones in back of car." You finally let it all out with a sob into Changbin's shirt. You felt alone, even with them right now you felt all alone.

"Baby oh honey, sweetie look at Dada please." You looked up at Changbin with wet eyes, he wiped them as he spoke. "Our sweet little baby, Dada, and Mama missed you so much. We missed holding our baby and playing with you. Did you think we were ignoring you by putting you down for a nap? We would never baby. We knew the trip was long and that you were probably going to not feel well so we wanted you to sleep through it. We are so sorry little one." Once he was done speaking Han reappeared, you hadn't even noticed he left.

"Here you go sweetie" He handed you Otto and a paci. When you smiled back up with a soft thank you, Han's heart melted. "Mama is going to sit in the back with you okay? We can cuddle and play games the rest of the way! How does that sound little otter?"

"I like that Mama"

With that you all loaded back into the car, dry from tears and ready to hit the road. Soon rocks and trees turned into ocean. Your game of 'I Spy' ended as you got excited. You pointed out all the pretty things to Mama and Dada while they told you what they were. Changbin pulled up the campsite and checked you all in. Once set up, Mama and Dada walked you down to the water to watch the sunset. You all sat there for a while after and enjoyed the company. Soft snores sounded from between the two of them. Your sleeping state was so precious, you looked so warn out yet so peaceful. Han picked up your now sand-covered paci and cooed.

"Our sweet baby otter"

[sangonohyuka]

anon asked: ooo i have an ask! somnophilia with mean dom soobin x f reader?

💭 ANON IM GIGGGLING KICKING MY FEET BECAUSE OH MYGOD THIS IS SAUR HAWWTTT 💢💢 IMAGINE SOOBIN TAKING HIS WORK FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON YOU WHEN HE GETS HOME.....

warnings: NSFW, sub! fem reader, consensual somnophilia, pussay eating, fingering too, dirty talk, degradation, a little thigh slapping, i am sleep deprived no proof reads, like always sorry for any mistakes ;;

mean! dom soobin who had such a rough day at work— starting from the non-stop work assignments to the ridiculous amount of arrogant clients he had to deal with. whatever this sick joke the universe played on him, soobin is for sure not happy about it.

by the time he completed his work, the sky was already dark— the office getting less and less busier by every minute. of course, working over time is no doubt draining both mentally and physically, but soobin couldn't care less at this point. all that matters to him now is that he's finally leaving this damned workplace, free from all of those workload.

when soobin entered your shared flat, the room was already dimly lit. it was quite odd since soobin is used to your cheery presence greeting him into an embrace— but tonight, nobody showed up to give him a hug. curious, soobin attempted to peek inside as he tried to get his shoes off, finding out that the living room's lights were already off– the television being its only source of light.

soobin lets out a relieved sigh when he found your figure laying down on the sofa, peacefully asleep with a messy blanket that's barely covering half of your body laid upon you. it was indeed already late and you probably dozed off while waiting for him.

"cute." he smiled, leaning over the sofa as he eyed you from above.

the way you look right now reminded soobin of an angel— so innocent with your lips slightly pouted, chest slowly rising up and down as you breathed softly, and the oversized shirt you're wearing slightly riding up– exposing some of the skin underneath it. the sight before him sparked something within, and soobin knew damn well that it's something that he needs to get rid off as quickly as possible.

"you told me you wanted to try this out, right?" his finger caressed your cheek softly, gentle enough to keep you in the deep slumber.

"why not try it out now, hm?" soobin didn't wait for an answer.

he kneeled in front of you, gently pulling away the blanket that was covering you before discarding it to the floor. here he is now, sat face-to-face with your sleeping figure and a mischievous smile plastered all over his lips. delicate fingertips ghosted over your skin before softly sinking itself into your flesh as soobin pulled your thighs apart, giving him access to your core. he leaned in closer with his lips bitten, desperate for a taste as he slid your shorts away.

"shit." soobin cursed under his breath as he eyed your now exposed cunt in front of him, unbelievably aroused by the idea of him mauling you in your peaceful sleep. he wasted no time and dipped his tongue into your hole, moaning at the sweet taste as he wets your clit with his drool. a soft grunt escaped your lips as you twitched in your sleep, leaving soobin with a cocky smirk on his lips. "let's see how long you'll last before i have you shaking underneath."

soobin placed his lips on your clit gently before mercilessly sucking on it, dragging his tongue across as he eyed you— practically railing you with just his glare only. the way he sucked on your clit was plain evil, no way your sleeping state could endure all that smothering for a much longer time. his movements were slowly snapping you out of your deep slumber, your subtle moans grew louder by each lick he gave.

"n—nh–s-soobin?" you stuttered confusedly, head still fuzzy from getting woken up abruptly. you can't help but let another lewd gasp escape your lips as he dipped his tongue deeper. the pleasure were starting to overwhelm you, leading you to unconsciously trapping soobin between your legs as you closened your thighs out of sensitivity.

annoyed, soobin let out a scoff before grabbing your thighs— roughly spreading them appart and holding it in place as his eyes visibly darkened. "did i ask you to move?" he growled, earning a meek whimper from you in response.

"n—no, 'm sorry." you apologized, not wanting to anger him any further.

"you wanna cum, don't you?" he slowly stood up as his hand grabbed the inner part of your thigh— his face is now only inches away from yours, hovering right above you. the sight of his messy locks covering some of his face were driving you insane, incoherent whines were starting to form in your throat. displeased by your lack of response, soobin scoffed. without any warning, you felt a harsh sting on your inner thigh followed by a loud slapping noise, earning a gasp from you as you flinched underneath soobin.

"i asked you a question." he leaned in even closer, your forehead almost touching with his.

"y—yes! p-ple–ease!" you choked out, not wanting to anger him any further.

"then be a good girl and let me fuck you up."

[camywamycam]

what was left behind in the rubble P.3

702 words

soon to be harry x reader 

TW//WRITTEN AT 4 AM BY A SLEEP DEPRIVED TEEN!!!

A/N

I know this is a short chapter and im sorry 😭 I finished writing this at 4 am because I can only write at night since I'm with my mom and siblings all day and I refuse to write in front of them 😭 maybe it wasnt a good idea to start a full ass fanfic story with a plot 2 weeks before I leave for summer camp but yolo, ive decided im gonna have this fic go from the summer - hoggwarts and y/n will start acting a lot more like Sirius iykwim 

y/ns pov

................

If you had been in the right mindset, you would have impatiently pushed Remus away the second he stepped foot into your room. However, at that moment, all you needed was a hug. You clung onto the soft fabric of his cable knit sweater, which carried the strong scent of chocolate, cigars, and parchment. Remus held you firmly in his arms, patiently waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to open up about your thoughts.

"I hate him," you said in a broken voice.

"You don't mean that," Remus replied, his uncertainty evident in his words. "He loves you, he just... doesn't know the right way to express himself, that's all."

"Well, he obviously doesn't have that problem with Potter," you spat, your voice tinged with envy. "When I traveled all the way to Europe to see my biological father, I was kind of hoping he wouldn't be a total dick."

Remus sat and listened attentively as you rambled, finally realizing how left out you had truly been. The other children never spoke to you, and neither did the adults, except for the usual greetings. The more he spoke to you, the more he learned about your experiences. He discovered that while you were neglected at Grimlands place, you had met a group of muggles who had welcomed you into their friend group so at least you hadn't been totally alone. In the mere 45 minutes of conversation, Remus had already learned more about you than your very own father.

You and Remus continued to chat throughout the night in the room which you had made your own. For the first time in a while when you woke up that morning you didn't feel absolutely terrible. you turned to your side and checked your phone notifications before getting ready for the day.

you tried to sprint down the stairs as quietly as possible knowing the other adults in the house wouldn't be so happy about you sneaking off to hang around strange people whom they knew nothing about. It was almost comical how much they tried to control you when you and they both knew they didn't care about you in the slightest. As you raced down the stairs you bumped into a pale boy with messy black hair and glasses that were a tad bit too large for his face. "black." he spat "potter." "and where do you think you are going?" he said sassily 

harrys pov

....................

it was strange seeing y/n actually dressed. since none of the kids went outside we mostly stayed in our lounging clothes. I took note of y/ns red top, flared jeans, a jean jacket that was covered in patches, and Converse. She actually looked quite nice... but I would never admit that. 

"out." that's all she said as she tried pushing past me. I grabbed a hold of her wrist "What's your problem? You've been acting rude ever since you got here. You could at least try to talk to your dad." she scoffed in my face "Oh I've tried. he's the one who doesn't want me here." "Maybe he would actually like you if you weren't such a bitch." I was shocked at the words falling from my mouth. did I say that out loud? my thoughts were confused as y/n turned around and punched me square in the nose. Adults rushed in as they heard me fall into a vase smashing it while holding my bloody nose. Mrs. Weasly scolded y/n “what on earth have you done!” she screamed at y/n but she just looked around with a red face and big eyes as she rushed towards the door slamming it shut, not that anyone cared.

"don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry," you thought to yourself as you ran to your friends' house. luckily she asked no questions and just welcomed you in with open arms. you eventually told her what had happened at Grimmlands place and she was pissed. both her parents said you could stay with them as long as you needed. they even let you move into the guest room so you wouldn't have to continue sleeping on your friend's floor. you know that you can't stay here long since school is starting soon, but you might as well enjoy it while you can.

tag list 

@moonys0chocolate @venomsvl  @quackitysdrugdealer @superduckmilkshake

[kzmeru]

I’ve been in a merumeru mood so here’s a req <3

Himeru is much more - visibly - tired and exhausted than usual so! you, his lovely s/o decide that he should take a day off so that he can unwind and relax, even if it’s momentarily. so, after some talking with crazy:b and their producer, menu gets a day off! Even if he tries to protest it, you shush him up by reassuring him that he’s in good hands 🫶 so for the rest of the day, it’s just you pampering, doting, and taking care of meru and making sure he gets enough love <33

all i think about is you

📨 — himeru x gn!reader

author’s note ; WOO half my page is himeru woops. its okay… he’s great <3 + SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG???? ive been in a motivated mood lately so :3

other notes ; ooc himeru bcs im a firm believer of meru being a whiney ass bitch when he’s tired

It’s been a week since your boyfriend, HiMERU have been coming home much more exhausted and tired than usual. You knew how being an idol was — stressful and extremely draining, so you couldn’t blame him for not having the energy to entertain you at times.

Though, skipping dinner and heading straight to bed without even bothering to shower, or change. You were growing worried for his well-being.

The next morning, you had made sure to wake up extra early. Considering that HiMERU was a very light sleeper, it was a challenge to get ready without waking him up. You had already planned to visit ES, requesting a day off on your lover’s behalf.

It wasn't that difficult to convince their leader, Rinne and their producer to grant HiMERU the day off. After all, it wasn't that hard to tell that the poor man was sleep deprived and most definitely needed a break. Thankfully, your first mission of the day was a success.

"[Name]? Where did you go? Ah… why didn't you wake HiMERU up? HiMERU's late for—" You quickly shushed him, taking off your coat and neatly hanging it on the coat rack.

"Take it easy for today. I asked Amagi and your Producer to give you the day off." HiMERU's eyes widened, caught off guard by your words. ‘They did that for HiMERU…?’ He thought.

HiMERU shakes his head, "Wait! HiMERU doesn't need the day off… he will be fine—" He flinched upon you suddenly dragging him back into your shared bedroom and ordered him to change out of his outdoor attire.

"But—!"

"No buts! I'm not an idiot, Meru! You're clearly exhausted, and one or two day offs wouldn't hurt. You've been skipping meals as well, and you're not getting enough sleep! So, just rest up, okay? I'll take care of you for today." You scolded, feeling victorious when you noticed HiMERU's shoulders dropping in defeat as he timidly nods his head and went into the bathroom to change.

After making sure he had a full meal of heavy breakfast, he finally decided to get comfortable on the bed, tucked in a warm blanket as his whole body relaxed after a long time of deprivation.

"[Name]… could you hurry up and lay down beside HiMERU!" He whined, quite impatiently. See, this is one thing about HiMERU when he's tired - he gets clingy. Way too clingy…

HiMERU continued to call out for your name before you finally came into the bedroom with a blank expression, while his lips curved into a… weird… smile? (basically just this “:3” LMAO)

"Right, I'm here! C’mon, scoot over." He did as you said, reaching out both of his arms for you to melt into, making your heart shatter over how adorable he was. 'WHAT THE HELL, WHY IS HE BEING SO CUTE RIGHT NOW.????'

"Can we sleep the whole day?" His eyes were already closed the moment you laid down and cuddled up against him.

"You have to catch up on your meals, you big baby."

"…Can we go back to sleep after?"

You purposefully ignored him and faced the other way to check on your phone— well, that was a bad idea. It wasn't like you planned to stay on it for too long, but before you could even grab the phone itself, HiMERU started his shenanigans.

"[Name]… keep your attention on HiMERU and HiMERU only! And I wanna see your face, so don't face the other way… and… and I—"

You playfully roll your eyes and turned back to face him. He looked at you, unamused and had a small pout.

"Right, right. Sorry, I'm just teasing~" You laughed at his reaction and surprised him by pressing multiple pecks all over his face, once again, purposefully missing his the part he loved the most.

"Stop teasing me! It's supposed to be my day off…" He sighs, using both his hands to hold your face still and pressed his lips against yours, sharing a long and intimate kiss.

You had pulled away first, but only because you remembered HiMERU needed to rest. No matter how much you wanted to tease him just get a reaction, you knew he wanted to sleep.

"Mhm, alright. It's time for you to sleep. I won't go anywhere." You said, patting him on the arm.

HiMERU huffs, now relaxing into your embrace. "…Thank you, [Name]. I love you s'much…" Your gaze softened at his words, playing with hair to help him drift off to sleep.

And this routine repeated for the rest of the day.

[mail-posting]

so basically to put it lightly im really incredibly regular and ordinary but anyway

i'd imagine the murder is something constantly lingering in the back of his mind, since the guilt is always gnawing at his conscious. i think he would have nightmares about it actually, where nothing changed from the original incident, its just the sudden moment of him realizing someone's caught him doing illegal activities, and then instead of maybe getting away with a good excuse, he panics and kills a man (was it even panic? or is that just an excuse to get back at the landlord that made his life even harder?)

though, i think a bout of sleep deprivation could have the same effect where the memory just rushes forward out of nowhere. and he's entirely convinced he's covered again with blood that isn't his and he needs to get rid of the evidence before anyone notices because god. if someone notices all hell will break loose (though it would be deserved if he's a murderer, wouldnt it)

he probably over the sink for way longer than he should, desperately clawing the bloodstains off his hands yet working himself up more when the blood from his own injuries starts mixing with the water.

and then once emil comes in all rationality goes out the window because out of everyone that had to see this, it couldnt be emil. he tries to play it off as a usual thing, despite the obvious steam coming from the water

and emil looks concerned which only serves to panic him more, and this is where he starts to be a little unnerving. he knows emil said something but he couldnt hear what- it mustve been an accusation, though. at this point hes incredibly stressed and the words dont come out right and he can feel tears in his eyes because he has to be believed, or else he'll lose one of the few people who cares about him. it looks like emil might be believing him, since emil went to move him out of the bathroom, so he keeps talking and explaining despite how sore his throat is becoming and how much he's coughing until all of the sudden his voice doesnt work anymore and all that comes out are hoarse, terrible sounding coughs that seem to worsen as the tears fall incessantly.

at some point the coughing finally ends he notices emil is looking at him and holding a roll of bandages. as if asking for permission. and andrew isnt in the position to deny him anything, even if he thinks it'd be a waste of time in the end so he lets emil wrap them and help andrew steady his hands enough for him to put his gloves back on while mumbling quiet reassurances to him and once everything is done he feels emil leaning against him in an embrace that theyve been in so many times. an embrace he still wants more of despite how selfish that is

so he lets himself have this for now. and he realizes that he was just saved from the evil that plagued him by this man, even though he absolutely didnt deserve the divine treatment he was just given, and he nearly breaks down again because the weight against him is so welcoming and nonjudgmental and its all he could ever ask for at the moment

ALISTER /POS

[hesitatingspirit]

I. Boy v. World

it feels like the world is against me sometimes.

and i dont know how to make it clear that i just want to be left alone. say hi my name is adam nice to meet you please dont hurt me im just a boy please i just want to be treated like one of you. you dont have to even talk to me but if you refer to me just maybe say he but if not its okay & i’m still too aggressive. say nothing at all and i’m just too difficult to even bother with at all. loser from the start, this is an eternal summer and you’re god’s least favourite cold-blooded experiment. strap in and enjoy the ride: you’ll be here for a long time.

If I am offended by someone calling me a woman, I am too much. I am one of those trannies that makes everything about them, the spitting image of the blue-haired, big-mouthed, angry-faced caricatures of trans individuals created by the right. If I am not offended, I am making a bad name for my fellow trans siblings by not standing up for myself when people misidentify me. I am normalising the idea that people are allowed to “mess up” on purpose, label me as whatever they want. I can never win: The only way would be to never get misgendered again. To not even have it be a possibility…

But we all know that this can never happen.

No matter what I do, I am always wrong,

because what did I expect when I chose to do this?

I mean,

Everyone knows how the world feels about people like me.

What DID I expect?

Would it have been easier for me to just stay a girl?

Easier for which one of us?

The world is run by spiders weaving complex webs of lies and careful misinformation, all vague enough to seem true to those who only catch the news in passing and parrot it at work, conversing at the water coolers. But being wrong is a disease, and baby, it's contagious: Mask up and shut your mouth and maybe even your ears too.

They are just trying to provoke me. They want to make me step out of line, so when I finally say “hey im a bit uncomfortable” They can finally say

I knew there was something about him!

He is one of those, he lied!

He DOES make his identity his whole personality!

No. It seems that my identity has become YOUR personality,

because my gender defines everyone but me:

The way people react to my face usually tells me all I need to know.

I can recognise a cold gaze from around the corner,

through a brick wall and from a mile away

I'm a psychic, honey, and I'm never gonna change,

so dont shoot the Messenger, okay?

and it goes like this it goes

boy with mustache makes a face when stranger calls him a girl

boy with mustache apologises for the trouble in case stranger noticed

stranger scoffs i dont see why it's such a big deal you can't expect everyone to understand

boy says i know and i’m sorry

boy goes home and forgets what he looks like.

It kinda goes like this:

different place wake up with a different face who am i today well everyone sees different things

but you know me i ride my own wave, this is My summer soundtrack

i am a skateboarder i am a stoner i am a rockstar

i am a bleach blond baby boy abandoned by god and i will never die again

mask after mask name after name

another ring around my eyes after another night awake

bags full of sleep deprived weekends staying busy with a racing head

lids heavy with the memories of endless nights

it’ll weigh me down ‘til i’m lowered into my early grave

and all the brick roads and sunsets up in my favourite singer’s hometown will never hit me the same

ghosts see the world differently,

ever so slightly colourblind

translucent lids half-covering eyes that have grown so tired from all they’ve seen

an eternity an observer

an eternity more to go

the people who care what you look like or hate what you listen to aren't really people that should be in your life anyway. so i don't care too much when they cut me off.

i don't care at all,

i just find it so insane that somehow i'm hurting people by being alive. by breathing.

if i enjoyed the shapes of the words she and her in your mouth if i enjoyed the twang of their sound waves if i could love the way the words hit my eardrums then my existence would be pure, a gift from god and i would be a miracle

but because i stand up for myself

because i have committed the crime of wanting to be happy

i am irredeemably evil

forever unclean,

stain on society and a file best left unopened.

top secret, confidential. don't ask, don't tell, but tell them what you don't know, tell them what you want to think. don't ask, don't tell, but they’ll always ask, and you’ll always tell.

“we don’t talk about her anymore.”

“she went crazy.”

“i heard it was drugs that did it.”

“i heard it was schizophrenia.”

“i think she was into witchcraft.”

god forbid a boy want to be loved: god forbid i avenge my death.

porcelain is so easily cracked,

you don't think i have a right to self defense?

i have to crawl out of my grave because this city is all i know. and this place can get so damn cold.

my rebirth will be slow. it will be terrible. and it is commencing.

[beetleisblue]

For titans sake, go to sleep!

————————————————————-

Summary: a very sleep deprived willow convinces Luz and Amity to go to bed already!

Ler: Willow and Luz (everyone but poor amity)

Lee: Luz and Amity

Warning: This is a tickle fic! If you dislike that, that’s completely understandable and you’re free to not read!

(Also disclaimer I wrote and posted this at 11pm after I took melatonin so im sure there’s a few grammar mistakes, I’m really sorry!)

On with the show~

———————————————

Fine, Willow was annoyed. She’ll admit it. It was two in the morning at the Noceda household, and she was yet to get any sleep. Above her bunk, she heard girlish, hushed giggles and had for some time now.

Though it wasn’t usually a bad thing to hear Luz and Amity’s admittedly pleasant laughter, and she was definitely relieved that Luz was finally giggling for the first time in weeks since the group of them had gotten stranded in the human realm, it didn’t take long for her relieved smile to turn into one of slight annoyance.

She glanced over at Vee, and wondered how the basilisk could sleep so easily in the ruckus.

She knew the girls weren’t trying to do any harm, but it didn’t stop Willow from wondering what could possibly be so funny that you had to laugh at it for THIS long?

What were they DOING up there?

She sat up and to the side, and when that didn’t work enough to let her get a good view as to what was going on, she crept up behind the two in the bunk, watching intently.

Luz was smirking playfully, sitting atop of Amity, who was letting our little ticklish squeaks and titters. She squirmed around as she laughed, causing the sound of wood squeaking on wood to come from the bunk.

“How’re you THIS sensitive here, batata? I’m barley even touching you!” Luz giggled in amusement as she wiggled her fingers over her girlfriends tummy.

Amity just let out a quiet squeal in response.

But Willow sure heard it, and Willow wanted sleep.

“Hey.”

One word, one word from willow’s mouth was all it took for the two to scream, and willow shushed them, pointing down at a snoozing Vee.

“Don’t wake her up!”

“She started it!” Both Amity and Luz whisper-shouted, pointing at eachother.

“Did not!” Luz said, poking Amity’s tummy, who squeaked and retorted;

“Did too!”

“I don’t care who started it! You two need to go to bed!” Willow whisper-yelled back.

Luz whined “But we can’t sleeeeep!”

Willow smirked “how about I tire you two out then?~”

Both Luz and Amity exchanged nervous looks. They knew that smirk. And they knew they were in for it now.

Both girls squeaked as Willow cast a circle of plant magic, tying their arms up and above their heads.

“Nonono we’re sorry!-“ Luz giggled nervously, pleading with her friend.

“Think of it as punishment for keeping me up so late!” Willow said as the vines began to feather playfully at their spots.

The tickles were gentle, almost comfortable, but to two people who were already in the tickling mood, it was torture.

Both Amity and Luz were a giggling mess. The vines primarily attacked Amity’s tummy, (causing her to melt much more than she’d like to admit) and Luz’s armpits, which made her hold back screams of laughter for the sake of Vee, instead choosing to squeal all the while, wishing she never kept Willow from her sleep.

Minutes passed, and Willow stopped immediately after she heard the slightest bit of tiredness in the girl’s laughs.

Sure she was a mean ler, but she wasn’t that mean.

Amity yawned sleepily, cuddling up with her girlfriend.

“Sorry we were loud, willow..” she muttered sleepily.

Willow shrugged

“that’s alright, it was kind of fun once I got my revenge.”

By the time she finished her sentence, both girls were already asleep.

She tossed a blanket over them, and yawned, going back to her own bunk and snuggling up in the covers.

Replaying the laughing faces of her friends, it was her turn to giggle.

[strongheartneteyam]

💌 A messy open letter/life update to my moots, readers and followers (?)

MY LOVES MY ANGELS HI!!!

IM SO SORRY FOR NEGLECTING Y'ALL FOR SO LONG my kitten is just now healed enough (not fully healed yet. she still has sutures) for me to be able to let her walk around the room and play by herself without being too dangerous for her health and I FINALLY was able to sleep more these last 4 days (I didn't talk to ANY of my friends for 3 days bc all I could do was sleep - even during the day, like, a lot - watch movies n read a bit (books, not fanfiction)/study neuroscience and anatomy a bit) so, now, I'm only like 70% recovered from so much sleep deprivation (being an amateur nurse for a spayed kitten and also doing house chores, mostly by yourself, ain't easy) and I've been logging in here for like only 30 minutes up to a maximum of like 1 hour or so, and not even everyday, just editing some stuff on my posted fanfiction/checking my notifications, messages, asks and OMG you guys are AMAZING!!! So much love that I'm receiving, from moots, readers, followers or even people who I don't think follow me but they support my works somehow, even after me being gone for this long while... IM SO THANKFUL AND MOVED!!! I love this fandom SO MUCH! I have no words!! I've been in many fandoms in my life and the Avatar one is by far the most supportive, peaceful - to a certain extent - and full of good energy and love! I PROMISE I will get to answer y'all soon enough!

And about the talk that's been going on about the fandom dying, DONT U WORRY MY BABIES, MOMMA VICTÓRIA AINT GOING NOWHERE! Speaking for me, at least, this tall blue aliens obsession is NOT something temporary! I'll be writing my lil stories for y'all forever, if I'm able to (lol) 🤍 I've loved Avatar since the first time I watched the 2009 movie, back when it was released and I was a child, and now that I'm a grown woman in her 20s, I still feel such a big connection to this fictional universe, in a literal spiritual level. I was a pagan/had a witchy/nature based spirituality for years of my life, tho I'm not pagan anymore, since I slowly realized I never truly believed in the pagan gods and magick, but, instead, I just see God in nature and see it as sacred and something that should be respected and taken care of, instead of destroyed. I also have indigenous heritage from my great grandmother, love my indigenous culture, live in a small town, next to the countryside, always felt crazily connected to nature and the Universe and been deeply fascinated by space, aliens, sci-fi, fantasy, always been called a "hippie" by people, either to tease me playfully or to try to make me feel bad for being a bit too much like Kiri Sully (istg me and Kiri are one and the same) so, this fandom serves me JUST RIGHT 😅🫀✨🌱👽💕 I'm here to stay and I WILL help keep this wonderful fandom alive!!! 💖

Anyways... I feel like I already "talked" way too much lol I'm wordy, sorry 🥲 but that's one of the reasons I can write well, so... it's got its bad and its good side ahaha

Speaking of writing, I have like 6 to 7 chapters of Realize where you belong saved (only need to edit and fill in some gaps) bc, even in the middle of so much physical and mental working, I'VE BEEN SO BLESSED with inspiration and been able to write A LOT lately, in the wee free time I've been having, so... if you're reading this fanfiction, I might be updating it later today or tomorrow!

Hope you're all doing good and taking care of yourselves! I've been trying to! I LOVE Y'ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK 💘

With love, your messy and a bit crazy but honest and caring fanfiction writer,

Victória ♡

[verved]

im so glad i can enjoy food again. like. i didn't realize how much my inability to eat enough food or enjoy what i could eat affected me. when i first got off the bupropion my appetite skyrocketed. i ate SO much maybe too much at times, bc my stomach had shrunk, but my body had quite literally been in starvation mode and suddenly i could EAT. i remember eating such simple foods, like a mandarin and some cheese and a few crackers, and while i had been able to stomach those things before, it was just that. being able to force it down without too much discomfort. but this time, when i ate them it i was moved to tears because i could enjoy it. it tasted ambrosial bc my appetite had finally returned!

yeah i gained weight initially. that was due to another medication that was next in line to be weaned off of. even if the weight didn't come off after being entirely off of all medication i wouldn't have cared. i could eat food and enjoy it. i still am heavier than i was pre-meds and i dont care at all. i will eat as much as i need to.

there was a lot about withdrawal that sucked ass. i couldn't sleep normally for months. i was exhausted from sleep deprivation. constant dizziness and weird mood swings. but being able to eat made it so worth it. the meds helped in some ways, but the way they killed all my appetite just was not worth it. just being able to eat again has basically replaced whatever mood stabilization they initially offered and then lost bc i was starving constantly.