#pro trans detrans

[campgender]

i 💕 cis dysphoric people. i 💕 cis people who want/had top surgery, i 💕 cis people who use non-normative language for their bodies & selves & pronouns, i 💕 cis people who want/had bottom surgery, i 💕 cis people who pack & bind & tuck & wear breast forms, i 💕 cis people who detransition. i 💕 crossdressers & drag queens & kings, i 💕 cis genderqueers, i 💕 cis autigender people, i 💕 people of transgender & transsexual experience.

i 💕 cis people whose gender dysphoria comes from sex repulsion & butch/femme identity & stoneness, i 💕 cis people whose gender dysphoria comes from disability & medical procedures & medical abuse & intersexism, i 💕 cis people whose gender dysphoria comes from the soil & their guts & the air in their lungs, whose dysphoria would exist in any vacuum you can postulate.

i 💕 people who are both cis & trans, i 💕 people who identify with exclusively label(s) without cis/trans modifiers, i 💕 people whose genders challenge & awe me, i 💕 people who remind us that cis/trans is itself a binary. i ally myself with you, i yearn to be in community with you, i respect you in your fullness, including all of the ways we are different & alike.

[detransisbeautiful]

misgendering cis people is still misgendering. many intersex, detrans, and gender noncomforming cis people are misgendered due to transphobia and misogyny, and it's not funny to misgender people who may already be regularly misgendered and experience gender dysphoria bc of it

[sweaty-confetti]

more support for detransitioners. understanding gender affirming care regrets is beneficial to all of us. it’s very easy for us trans people (including myself, i am not some perfect unbiased guy) to assume that all detransitioners are TERFs or transphobes but this is simply not true and also a self fulfilling prophecy.  

detransition is just as isolating of an experience as transition and in queer circles can be more so due to the knee-jerk reaction of many queer people to assume that detransitioners hate trans people or think that gender affirming care should be banned. thus they are shunned. but by assuming this, we inadvertently cause this to happen. there will always be detransitioners and we need to make room for them especially considering many/most are queer or still have a complex relationship with gender, not to mention that our community is built upon acceptance.

when trans and queer people shun detransitioners in fear that they’re terfs of transphobes, it offers an easy oppurtunity for terfs and transphobes to go, “those awful trans people, they’re small minded and then shun you. come join our ranks and we will liberate you from Gender Ideology™” and this hurts all of us.

it is not out of the question that detransitioners can be transphobic, but immediately assuming that they are harms queer people and other detransitioners. it’s an easy reaction and a mistake that i have worked hard to stop making, and i do not think it is an entirely unfair guess to make - but here is the important part - with reason. meeting someone who has detransitioned and immediately assuming that they are transphobic is dangerous. however obviously if they start spouting questionable conservative/transphobic nonsense that is a normal thing to assume. 

terfs/transphobes use detransitioners as a tool to blame the trans community, and many of us fall for it. in turn we use detransitioners as a tool to blame transphobes. the cycle needs to stop. 

TERFS, transphobes, etc. do not interact with this post. this is not a discourse post nor are you not welcome here. you will be blocked.

[transgressivegirlification]

sorta. learning how to separate my gender from how other people perceive and treat me. that and separating my gender identity from gender performance and the idea that i have to DO anything or have any specific trait to be a woman

i dunno. if gender describes your relationship to society and your relationship to your body and sex characteristics, then there is an expectation to perform specific roles based on your relationship to your body, which is pretty wierd and we could probably do without that. so, i guess in that sense, im a gender abolitionist

i don’t consider myself a woman because i was assigned female at birth, i consider myself a woman because it describes my relationship to my body. i don’t consider my (de)transition a return because i don’t remember what it was like to live as someone who was perceived as a girl and i’ve never been perceived as a woman, just a feminine trans person (and only online, offline i’m treated as an autistic cis man) so i’m having to figure out what my womanhood means to me for the first time instead of having it just given to me or something i had at some nebulous ~before~

but it’s. i don’t think being a woman means you have to be feminine in any meaning of the word. i don’t think i have to be seen as a woman to be one. i don’t even think i have to dislike masculine terms being used for me. i also don’t think that not conforming to the expected presentations of my gender makes me nonbinary. (nb people are chill i am just tired of being degendered in trans* spaces and having people making a big deal over my gender/pronouns because i don’t “look like” my gender)

i’m just a woman with a deep voice and body hair and broad shoulders and facial hair and an adam’s apple and a strong brow. i’m just a woman that wears clothing made for men and who wears binders instead of bras most of the time. i’m just a woman who wears makeup only once or twice a year and who doesn’t do anything centered around anti-aging. none of that makes me less of a woman, it just makes me less feminine which is fine

femininity is nice but a lot of it is either based on making women more consumable to men or just isn’t ideal for a construction worker. like. i love lolita fashion but it is not remotely osha approved. i can barely get away with tying my jacket around my waist lmafo

and i mean. i like men. 90% of my coworkers are men and i generally fuck with them. i’m also promised to a man who is my priority in life.

but at the same time, i’m not going to go out of my way to be appealing to men or even think about it in my day to day life because i’m a person who enjoys men, not a perfume ad. yeah i dress up for dates and enjoy when my promised finds me attractive but being desirable isn’t the same as being consumable. when i perform femininity for my promised, he enjoys the show but sees me as an actor instead of a character if that makes sense?

i dunno. i love being feminine in over the top ways that make me feel powerful and confident but it’s… a lot to do outside of the context of conventions (shout out to conventions for giving me a way to explore new presentations in public without being afraid of getting hate crimed fr)

i guess for me it feels wierd to be a woman almost exclusively attracted to men because so much of how people talk about wlm is centered around the man’s attraction to the woman or the woman making herself attractive to the man when i center myself in my attraction to men. i generally don’t think about making myself attractive to a man i’m not actively going on a date with, i think about what i want to do to him and what he could do for me. yeah it’s a little selfish but nobody’s complained yet B;)

tl;dr: i’m still a woman when i fulfill male stereotypes. femininity as a way to feel powerful, pretty, and/or desirable is nice. femininity as a set of rules pushed on women for the purpose of centering men’s consumption and dehumanization of women in their expression of feminine womanhood is shitty

[plushself]

here's my redesigned detrans flag! I wanted to show the intersection btwn detransition and transition, as well as a variety of ways detrans ppl may identify.

[jawz]

why do people who transitioned as full-on adults continue to speak on what they believe the laws should be regarding child/adolescent medical transition? like how fucking dense do you have to be to think it’s the same situation? if you didn’t MEDICALLY transition in that specific age range, when your mind is more amenable to any number of ideas about identity or personal philosophy (as you are still a child figuring yourself out) then you do not know what it’s like to have doctors more or less gaslighting you into pseudoscientific concepts that adults can understand more like metaphors…

this is the same way religion harms vulnerable young people when their brain’s capacity for weighing what is and is not realistic is just not developed and the real life experience has not yet been gained… you don’t understand metaphors and gender roles and playing pretend and facades yet… it’s all REAL to you at that age… i was told i had a MALE SOUL… trapped inside my inferior female body which needed to be FIXED in some way.

the older i get the more i realize that what a lot of adult transitioners are describing amounts more to deliberate aesthetic changes, which do create a higher level of comfort in the body and self-expression, this is why there seems to be a lower rate of regret for these types… versus gnc children who have not yet gotten past the age stage of cross-sex identification (which seems to be a common experience during the development of sexual identity for a pretty sizable cohort of the current generation of homosexuals who transition)… i think adult transitioners without childhood dysphoria have a better big-picture view of the changes they’re seeking, and it’s extremely unfair for them to pretend that youth who are attempting to convert themselves from gay boys to straight women or from butch lesbians to straight men are in the same mindset. i know i was not. it was religious for me. it was totally all-consuming.

[chimeraas]

I sometimes think that the broader lgbtqia+ community in online spaces should be kinder to detransitioners, actually!

The vast majority of detransitioners *are not terfs*. That is a fringe (yet unfortunately loud) subset of the community! Many folks who detransition are our allies, and some might even still consider themselves part of the trans community (ie non-binary, view their detransition as ‘a second transition’, or also intersex).

When you mock ‘ugly detransitioners’ for their appearance, please remember who that sentiment is hurting. Please focus on calling out these specific people for being hateful terfs… *not for their experiences detransitioning*.

I’ve met several detransitioners over the years, and NONE of them have been bigots / terfs. As an intersex (and genderqueer) person, I think there is a lot of solidarity that can be had between these communities… radical feminism is the problem. terfs are the problem. Your average detransitioner is NOT.

[woman-for-women]

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[old-school-butch]

Hello again <3

I sent you an anon that you replied to on April 1st, which was me asking how ex-TIFs are received back into womanhood. Your reply gave me a little foothold which ended up very comforting as I started coming out rapid-fire to all my friends as detrans. this is primarily a message for other people in my situation, who are afraid and might want a template of what you might expect will happen once you do come out with it.

Predictably, most of my friends dropped me; I've 3 friends left. Two of which continue to support trans people but can accept that i have different opinions (as long as i'm "not mean") and one of which has seen the gender critical arguments, accepted them, and agrees. So, heavy losses, but not total losses. My two siblings seemed to sigh in relief and reveal that they never believed in genderism at all, which is odd, because in my 10 years of being trans not one of them challenged me on it. my mom fell into heavy guilt over "letting me" do all this, although i was 18 when i took testo and 19 when i got surgery, so she really could not have stopped me, legally. i suppose she mainly grieves knowing that had she had the right arguments she could have saved her kid this, but i've told her she is not to blame and i hope she recognizes that.

i haven't received any real harassment, not from anyone that i PERSONALLY know, though my family has received... harassment targeted at me? my sister had a classmate begin sending her copious pro-trans propaganda (contrapoints videos) which she instructed should be sent onward to me (sis did not comply). hilarious how my 10 years of direct experience is suddenly null and void and i'm assumed to know nothing about transness.... 6 months ago i was helping people sensitivity-write trans characters. now, i'm told i can't speak for the trans experience at all, and that i do not know what it's like to be a transmasc person. told that i need to listen to the arguments more carefully, that i don't LISTEN, when i literally lived this for 10 whole years. girl, on god? they tell me i don't get it and need to educate myself. and have empathy of course.

but in general, detransing, i've discovered that there are PLENTY of people who do not actually believe in genderism but who will play along simply out of fear or social pressure. my friends aside, who i knew through "queer" circles, everyone in my family (expect my mom) has revealed they never actually believed in it. i think this might contribute to why trans people bully dissenters so badly. they know this is the truth, that no one really buys it. i think, subconsciously, i have known that too. i never downloaded grindr, i never went into the men's bathrooms. i knew that despite testo and surgery and pronouns i could never challenge men as an equal in their eyes.

interestingly, making new friends is not that hard. I lead with the fact i'm detrans and "don't believe in all that shit" and people are VERY eager to be able to, suddenly, voice their real opinions without being called transphobic. they begin with probing questions, uncontroversial statements like "i agree they shouldn't put males in women's sports..." but if you continue to agree and not punish this daring on their part, they will reveal, with much relief and enthusiasm, what they really think. most people, normal people, really do not believe it all? i'm a brash person and can take irl confrontations quite well, hence i feel safe putting myself up as a transphobe off the bat. and people are very into this. so. the old ass saying, just be yourself.... normal people will not volunteer anti-genderist opinions on their own but when i continue to state thing after thing they open up and agree and eventually feel safe enough to admit their own thoughts. making friends, especially with non-gendie women, hasn't been that hard.

i'm going to write another message about same-sex attraction in the genderverse, but it's also a can of worms so i will make it separate from this one. again, thank you so much, for having anon on and listening, and letting us listen to each other without fear. i would hug you. to be continued

Thanks for the follow up!

My only comment is that I think most people play along out of kindness, it's not all bullying and fear, but that does impose a silence on everyone so everyone feels quite alone with their doubts.

[detransisbeautiful]

detransitioners have always been horribly mistreated by gcs/terfs, and also indirectly hurt by a lot of transphobia and stereotyping of trans women. however, a lot of detrans people feel like they have no where else to go, and assume the trans community will reject them.

the answer is to be kind and accepting to detrans people, educate yourself on detransition and how different detransitioners will identify as vastly different things and there is no monolith of detrans opinion. we are all individuals on individual journeys of transition, just like trans people.

[transgressivegirlification]

trans + fem is a server for everyone who is feminine or transitioning to be more feminine while also being trans and/or detrans

the goal is to build community, share experiences (both similar and different), and consolidate/share resources and tips

-

the basic rules are as follows:

1. respect the boundaries, labels, and preferences of others

2. keep talk of sex acts and sexual experiences to #\sex-and-kink

3. display names must be pingable by staff, who uses an english keyboard

(fonts and fancy symbols are discouraged due to messing up screenreaders, but will not be banned until majority vote)

4. assume a lack of malice and set strong boundaries

discourse will be discouraged but discussion about complex and/or sensitive topics is allowed as long as yall are chill with it

(if ive misused a tag here, just lemme know and ill remove it)

[originalstrawberryexpert]

facts over feelings!

first of all nonbinary people is a mental illness y'all are not real.

Fuck the lgbtqia people. going around calling women terfs for protecting their rights as women. every single day women is being killed, raped, and hurt. but noooo the alphabet mafia crazy freaks fucks wanna take that away from women. I DON'T CARE IF I GET CALLED A TERF OR ANY PRO FEMINIST AND RADFEM GET CALLED TERFS....CAUSE FUCK YOU!!! no seriously fuck you. i don't care about your dumbass feelings, Don't get mad at women cause you cut off your dick and breasts and took some drugs. YOU WILL NEVER BE A WOMEN NO MATTER WHAT! you gross as things are mentally ill and yet y'all get taken advantage of by the doctors. LET'S NOT FORGET THE LGBT FUCK FACES IS SILENCING THOSE WHO DETRANS. THE DETRANS WHERE MANIPULATED AND Groomed TO BECOME TRANS. you lgbtqia dumbass is making america look like a fucking joke! i cannot count how many times i've seen video from other countries making fun of america and that's bad.

AT THE END OF THE DAY FUCK THE TQIA AND LEAVE THE LGB PEOPLE ALONE. YOU WILL NEVER BE A WOMEN, BUT YOU WILL BE A MENTALLY ILL PERSON!

jkrowling has been donating to women's group and helping them.

THE TQIA IS NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF PEDOPHILES, SICK GROSS FREAKS, AND MEN TO WANTS TO HURT WOMEN.

fuck the tqia assholes and stop making america look like a fucking joke.

I hope Trump becomes president again cause he knows what a women is and a man is. i may not like trump but at least he won't allow a grown ass men inside a women's bathroom.

at the end of the day it always have been LGB fuck the tqia.

[desistancejourney]

I think we have to keep in mind that there is a real difference between

A) a person who maybe has a trans friend and has seen how much more at peace they are with themselves after transition and sees transphobia as a hatred of gender non-confirmity and thinks that's hateful (which it is) and shares "trans rights are human rights" social media posts and doesn't want to make any assertions about an experience they think they couldn't possibly understand and just assumes that no one would go through something as drastic as transition unless they REALLY needed to and yeah you can't ACTUALLY change your sex but who cares just let people live their lives

and

B) the chronically online "gendies" who have completely lost the plot to the point of insanity and cult-like groupthink that many young mentally ill/traumatized/autistic people (like myself) unfortunately fall into.

Like, as a desisted female, I find that I have my guards up a little bit when I see someone who is very vocally pro-trans and I know a lot of detrans/desisted people are as well, but I find myself needing to ask myself "who am I really talking to?" because if it's the first one then we probably agree on like 90% of stuff but if it's the second one it's a completely different thing.

[meren-mindgames]

Intro post to 📌

-You can call me Meren.

-Please do not use Honorifics with me unless you’re submitting to me.

-You’re not submitting to me unless your name is @forsakenriot.

-You might remember me from The Olde Days of HypnoKink Twitter. I left that hellhole for a reason.

-I’m asexual, I’m 30, Non Binary Trans Femme. She/They. Been on HRT for over 3 years. I have nice tits.

-My sexuality is complicated. TL;DR femme presenting people are hot. Don’t mind cis men in theory, but in practice I don’t do well with them.

-Kinks include (but are far from limited to) Hypno, Forced Intox, Brainwashing, Robotgirls, Pup/Petplay

-Raceplay, Political, Detrans, Sissy(Note Femboy blogs are cool) blogs DNI. This list is not exhaustive. If you’re annoying I’ll block.

-Minors are far from welcome here.

-Thought I was a switch, turns out I’m a whole ass Domme who just likes being challenged and getting flustered too.

Non kink things

-I play competitive Magic: The Gathering. (EDH Players DNI)

-Pro Wrestling Nerd. Little Stinger all my life.

-There’s a whole menagerie of Neurospiciness in my borked up head.

-I simp for my friends very hard.

-The aforementioned forsakenriot is my Best Friend.

-I love my Found Family more than anything in this world.