#and is just like. hey. we're good. and responds to any further questions with It's fine. We're good.

[eastgaysian]

idont care if your durge was having crazy eroguro sex with gorty can you get them to put some pants on and tell me about their sibling relationship with orin. please.

[stranger-things-trash]

“Eddie what the fuck are doing in my house?” Steve looked at the man laying across his couch, eating a bowl of his cereal, in his house.

“Morning sweetheart,” Eddie responded, his eyes glued to the T.V. “I left the cereal out for you.”

“Wow thanks,” He responded sarcastically, walking down the rest of the stairs to the kitchen. He did indeed find the open box of cereal and bowl sitting on the counter waiting for him. He poured himself a bowl and walked back over to the couch, his boyfriend’s eyes still glued to the T.V. “So you gonna tell me why you’re here or just ignore me for…what are you even watching?”

“Ghostbusters.”

“...I don’t own that movie. Did you bring a movie to watch at my house?”

“Maybe,” Eddie smiled smugly.

“Move,” Steve muttered, shoving Eddie’s legs off of the couch so he could sit. However, Eddie simply moved his legs onto Steve’s lap instead. The two sat in silence for a while, Eddie enjoying the movie and Steve enjoying watching Eddie. The two briefly made eye contact as Eddie turned to look at Steve, not realizing that his boyfriend was already looking at him. Steve’s face turned bright red as he quickly looked away.

“Come here dork,” Eddie laughed, reaching up to grab the collar of his shirt, abandoning the half eaten bowl of cereal on the coffee table.

The two shared a kiss, short and simple as neither were in a good position to take it any further. Still holding onto Steve’s collar, Eddie repositioned himself so he was sitting and pulled Steve back into the kiss.

This time Steve was the one to pull away, “While I love you, I would like to know how you got here,” He said softly.

“Your house is always unlocked, like, anyone can just walk on in here anytime they want.” He laughed.

Before he had a chance to respond he was pulled back into the kiss. Steve's hands found themselves tangled in Eddie's curly brown hair, who had repositioned himself once again so he was straddling Steve's waist. Little to no space between them as the two enjoyed each other's embrace.

"What the fuck?" A voice from behind yelled.

The two quickly pulled apart and looked to see who the voice belonged to.

"Hey Dustin," Eddie chuckled nervously as Steve buried his head into Eddie's Hellfire shirt.

"Please tell me you're both wearing pants before I walk any closer."

"Relax Henderson, we're wearing pants," Steve responded, still holding onto Eddie's shirt.

"Well Harrington's wearing pants,"

"Don't listen to Eddie," Steve pushed him off as Eddie laughed to himself, "Why are you here?"

"That's unimportant, what's more important is," Dustin gestured to them, "whatever this is."

"I was making out with my boyfriend and I would like to continue doing that so if you would lea-"

"Boyfriend?! You're already at the boyfriend stage? And neither of you told me?"

"It wasn't exactly, any of your business Dustin," Steve replied tiredly.

“I told you when I got a girlfriend.”

“You have a girlfriend? Since when?” Eddie questioned, only to be left without an answer.

"And I thought you had a thing for Nancy?"

"Jesus why does everyone think I have a thing for Nance!"

"Cause you're so insistent on telling her you don't have a thing for Robin." Eddie, who was now laying across Steve's lap, reminded.

"Okay you are not involved in this conversation." He looked down at his boyfriend who had a smug look on his face.

"He does have a good point though,"

"Well now you know I really don't have a thing for Nancy! I have a thing for Eddie!"

"Aw Steve I'm flattered,"

Steve gave him an annoyed look before turning his attention back to Dustin. He was still taking in the scene in front of him, completely forgetting about his original reason for coming over.

“I’m honestly surprised you didn’t already know,” Eddie thought out loud, “I mean, you’re really fucking smart. Probably will graduate before me.”

“Eddie don’t say that you're gonna graduate.”

“Haven’t been able to yet sweetheart.” He laughed.

“I should probably go now,” Dustin said as he already started walking back to the door.

“Dustin wait-” Steve moved Eddie off his lap and followed the kid to the door. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this. If it makes you feel any better we haven’t really told anyone.”

“You don’t sound sure of that.” He remarked.

“You wanna try keeping secrets from Nancy and Robin? It’s goddamn impossible.”

“Just promise me the next time you get a boyfriend or girlfriend, you tell me.”

“Okay fine I promise,” Steve sighed and shook Dustin’s hand in agreement.

“You’ll have to get rid of me first!” Eddie, who had resumed eating his cereal, yelled from the couch.

“Can’t you see we are having a moment?” Steve yelled back.

Dustin laughed and the two performed their handshake as Eddie watched from afar, chuckling to himself as Steve pretended to die as Dustin stabbed him. Fucking dorks he thought to himself.

And with that, Steve’s kid left, leaving the two alone again. “Was it just me or did he take that really well?”

“I mean, the kid’s seen worse,” Eddie reminded as Steve sat back down on the couch, “His two older guy friends kissing is the least of his worries.”

“That’s…that’s fair.” He agreed. Eddie smiled and sat up to kiss Steve on the cheek before leaning his head on his shoulder and interlocking their hands. “Love you Eds,” He smiled softly.

“Yeah yeah, love you too,” Eddie turned away to hide his blushing face, “Let’s just-let’s just keep watching the movie.”

[chick-with-wifi]

Meta: Root's message for Shaw

In 4x05, Root says, "if the worst comes to pass, if you could give Shaw a message?" when she believes she will die in the fight against Martine. Although we don't hear the exact wording of this message, the context and Finch's reply of "I think she already knows", tell us it is a declaration of love.

Then in 5x13 when the Machine is fading, She tells Shaw, "There's something I think Root had wanted to say to you. You always thought there was something wrong with you because you don't feel things the way other people do. But she always felt that was what made you beautiful. She wanted you to know that if you were a shape, you were a straight line. An arrow." 

During their time together, Root's flirting consists of exaggerated innuendo to push Shaw's buttons ("I'll do yours if you do mine" in 3x23, "I love it when you play doctor" in 3x17), and in return Shaw pushes Root's buttons by aggressively pretending she doesn't care about Root ("I missed you like I'd miss an intestinal parasite" in 3x20, "I wouldn't want anything to happen…to the dog" in 4x10). Root never disrupts the delicate balance of this dance, never asks Shaw for more than she's willing to give or demands any confirmation of her feelings, beyond light teasing such as "and is that why you came to see me?" in 4x07.

But in the event of her death, she wants Shaw to know the true extent of her feelings. Given that she always intended it to be this way, this means the message isn't for her benefit - it's for Shaw's. She wants Shaw to know beyond a shadow of doubt that Root loved and understood her for exactly who she is, and has no expectations for what her grieving process should look like. She doesn't want Shaw to ever feel like she isn't enough.

A variation of this also appears in 4x11. In one of the Machine's simulations, Root calls Shaw while knowing she doesn't have long left and it is the only time we see her push for any sort of confirmation about their relationship. She says, "Why are you so afraid to talk about your feelings? [...] We're perfect for each other. You're gonna figure that out someday." and is elated with Shaw's reply that "maybe someday [...] we can talk about it."

Since the Machine is able to accurately predict Her assets and knows Root's final request well enough to carry it out in 5x13, She knows this is the one situation where Root would push the issue enough to make it clear that she loves Shaw and that she would be thrilled with any degree of confirmation Shaw chooses to give.

Their conversation in the real timeline begins in exactly the same way, with Root in a dire situation calling Shaw to say, "Hey, sweetie. You busy?". Shaw replies, "A little. Skip the verbal foreplay, Root. Why are you calling?" and Root says, "Can't a couple of gals take a little break from work to catch up?". However, at this point Shaw arrives in the stock exchange and the team's chance of survival increases considerably.

The rest of their conversation plays out similarly, but is toned down. Root says, "We're so good at this together. You're gonna realize that someday." Where the simulation began with Root asking a direct question about Shaw's feelings, this is an open statement that doesn't put any pressure on Shaw to respond.

Shaw replies, "Root, no offense. You're hot, you're good with a gun. Those are two qualities I greatly admire. But you and me together would be like a four-alarm fire in an oil refinery." Just like how Root in the simulation was happy with Shaw's response, she cheerily replies, "Sounds cozy." Since at this moment her life is no longer in immediate danger, she doesn't feel the need to say anything further.

[crusty-chronicles]

The Moon and Sun (Big Sib Reader x Gon/Killua)

Ch 11: From Bad To Worse

Synopsis: Things just keep getting worse and worse the further you descend into the NGL. And one final push from an unrelenting group of Chimera Ants finally causes Y/n to lose it. Will they be able to keep going after this slip up.

------------------------------------------------------

"Hurry, this way!" Your voice was commanding as you made a sharp turn to the left. The others skidded behind you at the sudden change in direction before following suit. Your pace was decent enough for the three of them to keep up.

It felt akin to following a bloodhound when it caught the scent it was looking for.

Except the trail you were following was one of fear and malice.

The deeper you descended into the NGL, the stronger those emotions were felt. You were trying to follow the most recent ones in the hopes of coming across a Chimera Ant.

So far, no luck.

"It's safe for us to assume that the Chimera Ants have taken full control of the NGL'S interior," Kite said, En picking up the same things your ability had.

"The only question now is whether we can reach the nest before the queen has a chance to give birth to the king."

"If we're lucky, we'll find an ant that'll take us right to her. We just need to time it right." You had once again changed directions. A new feeling of bloodlust showing up on your radar a few miles away.

If you were all quick enough, you'd probably get there before sundown. And hopefully, whatever that thing was would stay there.

You never really showcased your ability like this before, so seeing it in action was something completely different. It felt a little strange to the two boys trailing behind you. You, who had always hung back and offered the occasional guidance, were more serious than ever. More focused than they'd ever seen you.

It made them realize they hadn't known you as well as they thought.

--------------------------

Ghost towns

That would probably be the best descriptor for what you were seeing.

Every village you all stumbled upon was deserted. Signs of a struggle evident, but no blood. It was like they'd been abandoned for years. Or like something scared them out.

No people

Not even any farm animals.

Not a single trace of life.

The current village you entered was no different. You'd been so sure that something was here. That you'd stumble across what was causing all these people to vanish. The bloodlust here had been brand-new, so to find nothing......

You let the boys investigate further with Kite, but you already knew they wouldn't find a damn thing. At least nothing living. Seems this village got hit harder than the others, though.

Windows and doors smashed to pieces. Houses collapsed and the rubble from them scattered.

"Nobody's in here." Gon observed from outside a broken home.

"Anything, Y/n?" Kite called out. Perhaps you'd sensed something he hadn't.

"No. I can't feel anyone. We must've missed it by a few hours." You responded.

Damnit. At this rate, you'd never reach the queen.

"We should still keep searching. Maybe someone left behind a clue?" Gon suggested.

"Be my guest, but there's nothing here." No point in giving false hope. So you waited in the center of the village for them to finish.

But you were wrong about them finding something. Gon, with his enhanced five senses, had picked up on a repulsive scent.

"Hey, something smells bad." He pointed in the direction of a stable a good meter away.

"It's coming from over there."

Begrudgingly, you followed after them towards the smell.

Oh

You knew this one.

The unmistakable stench of rot and decay.

You tensed up at the sight of dried blood leading from each stable towards the forest. It was a rusty brown, meaning that it had been a few hours since the attack.

You didn't need your ability to tell you that everyone was now on edge. Worried about what would be found at the end of this bloody trail.

As long as it was dried, it wouldn't soak into your paper-thin shoes. It wouldn't stick to your skin. It wouldn't shake you up as much. But that didn't mean you were fine.

You don't quite remember how you became this squeamish. There had been a time where it didn't bother you. A time where you were desensitized to the splatters that littered your body.

That kid was long gone now. Their innocence towards the world was gone.

In their place, a coward who couldn't even stand the sight of a drop of blood. Who knew that this much caked onto the floor meant death.

No, you were not at all fine.

But you would push through.

For them.

For her.

---------------------------

You were an idiot for not closing your eyes this time. You supposed it had to do with the stress of everything intensifying. The pressure to find the queen before any more people died. The choice of using your senses instead of eyes to guide you was forgotten.

As you reached the end of the trail, and the scent of rot became its strongest, you were met with several horses skewered on the tops of trees. Blood leaking down and pooling underneath.

A feeling of shock from the others before you doubled over gagging. Coughing and clutching at your mouth, willing the vile building up not to spew out.

Drip

Drip

Drip

The stench of copper mixing with decay. Filling your nose and reaching down to strangle your throat.

What monster would do this?

Deface the dead and use them as trophies.

The beating of your heart in your ears was too loud for you to hear anything else. Your previous focus completely gone.

You made the mistake of looking up again and couldn't stop your body's visceral reaction. Your stomach finally spilling its contents onto the forest floor.

You weren't the only one disturbed by the sight in front of you. You also weren't the only one grossed out by the smell either.

But you were the only one who had reacted so strongly to it. You were more kept together than you had been on Greed Island, but it was enough to cause concern for both boys.

Killua being the one to try and stabilize you when you started wobbling on your feet.

"Why'd you look at it if you know you can't handle blood, you idiot!?!"

You could only continue to dry heave in response. The trembling of your body increasing.

It was a damn shame. You were not prepared mentally for this. And as much as Kite didn't want to admit it, you'd only slow them down if you continued.

Useful as your ability was, there was no point in forcing you to use it if something as tame as this was enough to make you crumble. You wouldn't be able to handle what was in store for the future.

You would get hurt.

And those boys would be reckless on your behalf.

"Think happy thoughts, yeah? Oh! Your best friend. The one with the bullet that never misses. Tell us about him." Gon was on your other side, trying to come up with anything that would distract you from the sight.

"We're not friends. Don't get it twisted. We're rivals, ya hear!"

"Whatever you say Deshin... BestFriendSaysWhat?"

"What? Dang it!"

"He was *cough* a total tool. And he *cough cough* could never-" you froze as your senses momentarily returned to you.

There was something lurking.

Watching the three of you.

And there was two of them.

You turned around quickly, clutching your stomach for dear life. You hobbled one step closer to the underbrush and pointed.

"Quit hiding *cough* like a coward and come *gag* out!"

You were hanging on by a thread at this point. But if you could prevent an ambush, then your limits would just have to hear it.

Gon and Killua tensed next to you, glaring as a figure neared the edge of the clearing.

"Hey!" The being rumbled.

But it wasn't a human that emerged from the forest. Far from it. The creature looked like an amalgamation of animals pieced together.

Phagogenesis was it?

You could faintly feel shock from the others. You shouldn't have let this thing fly past your radar. You shouldn't have let it get this close, presence concealed or not. And if you hadn't been so discombobulated, you'd have sensed it sooner. Both of them that is, but you weren't in any condition to warm them of the other one at the moment. Your poor stomach was still queasy.

"What?" Pure confusion in Gon's tone, trying to figure out just what this creature was.

"What the hell is that thing!?!" Killua exclaimed right after.

Both of them taking a protective stance from besides you. The hostility from their aura growing. All while a certain silver haired hunter watched on, analysing the unfolding situation at hand.

It's presence had been concealed, and yet...

You were able to sense it. You were struggling to stand, but you were able to pinpoint the Chimera Ant's location whereas Kite couldn't feel a thing.

What would have happened if you didn't sense this creature when you did?

Your ability was precise. Practiced to a T. Whatever training you had undergone was either incredibly harsh or incredibly time consuming. Perhaps both. His thoughts were cut short by the ant speaking up.

"Filthy scum! Keep away from my damn prey!" It bellowed before charging forward. Bloodlust oozing from its aura.

You didn't have any time to react, your brain and body still lagging behind. All you could do was stare with unfocused eyes as the ant set it's sights on you.

A fist making harsh contact against your abdomen. The force sending you back against one of the trees. With a final choked out gasp, you were able to regain some of your focus. The pain temporarily grounding you from the gore above.

Your eyes widened as you saw the creature lunge for Gon next. He stood still, shaking at the thought that you hadn't been fast enough this time.

You'd actually gotten hit.

But that was quickly proven to be a fluke as you rebounded with a speed so fast, it looked like you'd never been knocked back in the first place.

The arm extending towards him stood no chance against your instantaneous reaction. Your leg lifted up, then slammed down with a force that shook the ground.

A sickening crack reverberating throughout the forest.

You stumbled back as the pain processed in the Ants head, a screech ringing out a few moments later.

"Damn, didn't mean to do that." You'd meant to stop that thing from attacking your kid, but not to break its arm. Its very splintered and purpling arm.

Even if you did mean to kick the appendage away, you never meant to use that much force. You were never supposed to use that much. But you weren't exactly all here right now. A slip up was bound to happen with the way your mental state had just deteriorated.

Still, you felt bad for the poor thing.

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

The Chimera Ant once again changed towards you. A scream of your name from the two boys before you were enveloped in another protective presence.

Kite stood in front of you, effectively blocking off the Ant's access. His aura was strong, tougher or just as tough as Razor's. The stance he took left no openings for an attack. His entire demeanor intense and intimidating.

Silently challenging the creature to make its move.

It all disappeared in an instant as he turned slightly to address you.

"Are you hurt?"

You shook your head.

"No, this thing is weak. I was just caught off guard is all."

You didn't really feel the punch from earlier. You've had much, much worse. If anything, you were just a smidge sore. These things probably had body armor.

"Can you walk?"

"Yeah. I'm fine... Physically I'm fine."

"Good. Follow me."

Your face scrunched up at his instruction, but you trailed behind nonetheless. You figured he must've had an idea. For what exactly, you couldn't tell.

At least not until he led you towards the area where Gon and Killua had grouped up. Both relieved to see you were okay. The ant, however, was getting impatient.

Good, your ability was working again.

"Now Gon and Killua, this one is all yours. Take care of him."

So that was his plan.

You turned and gave him a small glare, opening your mouth and then closing it. Right, he was supposed to be mentoring them. But was now really the best time?

Sure the ant was barley an inconvenience, but c'mon. Your boys were shell shocked. They were probably just as discombobulated as you had been.

Sensing the apprehension in your aura start to rise, Kite explained his reasoning for the suggestion.

"That's a Chimera Ant soldier. There are bound to be plenty more like him from here on out. I won't be able to rescue you during combat like Y/n did. If you can't defeat him, go home."

It was harsh, but like always, Kite was right. If they couldn't beat something as weak as this, they'd be in immense danger here. You were already stumbling around as it was. Hell, you'd probably have to leave soon yourself.

"You'll just be in my way."

But that part was a little unnecessary. Don't baby them Y/n.

You could sense determination and confidence once again surge through them. As if they had just gotten a newfound purpose. There was a spark of defiance too. And if you knew your boys.....

A surge of aura poured out from them, strong and assured. The strength combining with the sheer amount of power made them visible without using your ability.

"I've already told you Kite-" Gon started.

"We're both professionals, too." Killua finished for him.

Their resolve became unbreakable as they approached the ant.

"So don't treat us like kids!"

You elbowed the taller male next to you, expression smug as he met your gaze. You threw a wink before shouting after them.

"C'mon boys, this thing's chump change! You can beat it easy without breaking a sweat! And if you can't, then I'll be very disappointed!"

Their aura seemed to grow stronger at your words.

"Right, we won't let you down, Y/n." Gon assured.

"Yeah, so just sit tight and focus on getting better, eye bags." Killua added.

You'd get him back for that one. For now, you were content to sit back and watch what happened. You had no doubt in your mind that they would win. Your own wave of confidence radiating from you.

And the reaction was a little amusing for Kite despite the circumstances.

The boys didn't want to be treated like kids, and yet they had let you baby them without much complaint. Wanting you to pick them up and coddle them. Thriving at your words of affirmation.

They loved you, that much was obvious. They also seemed to hold the highest level of respect for you. Trusting in your abilities and fully aware of your limits. Deathly protective too, as he was starting to learn from the little glares Killua would give when he thought Kite wasn't looking.

Then there was you who had temporarily caught him off guard twice now.

You'd broken that creature's arm like it was nothing. Not an ounce of nen coating your leg. It was just pure strength. And Kite was briefly reminded of when he had hit both boys away from the smaller ant nest.

You could have done that to him.

You probably could have done worse.

But you held back. You were still holding back. For whatever reason, you were restricting yourself physically. Like you were afraid.

'I didn't mean to do that.' What did you mean to do? What were you capable of doing?

Seems he was wrong about his previous assessment though. You could hold your own perfectly fine. However, he was unsure if letting you push yourself over your limits was the right call.

The battle began soon after, with Gon and Killua charging forward towards the Chimera Ant. Their first round of blows deflected and useless against its body armor. Both being tossed to the side like nothing.

But you had a feeling the tables would turn soon. Afterall, a creature this weak could never cause them any real damage. Not like Razor's spike and sure as hell not like Genthru's Little Flower ability.

You were quickly proven correct as Gon went in for another punch. The ant dodged and slammed its good arm against his back, temporarily winding him. Killua used its distracted attention to his advantage, jumping above the ant and summoning his nen into his hand.

Aura spiking impossibly strong as now lightning enveloped his palm. The ant looked up in shock before being electrocuted by Killua's attack.

"Thunderbolt!" Killua shouted as the electricity made contact with the Chimera Ant. The sky lighting up in a blue hue while the creature itself was unable to move. Shocks coursing through its body and leaving it dazed when all was said and done.

A feeling of amazement from Kite while you were practically beaming with pride. So much so you gripped onto the taller male's shoulders and shook him around in excitement.

"THAT'S MY BOY!" Your words of praise causing the small assassin to turn his head towards you and beam right back.

"Show me rock!" The sound of Gon's voice had you looking over in his direction.

A familiar spike of aura covering his fist. The fiery nen building up to its strongest before he struck the still dazed ant.

"Jan-Ken-Rock!"

The force from his punch sent the Chimera Ant flying in the air. Your feeling of pride swelling even more.

"THAT'S MY OTHER BOY!" You exclaimed shaking Kite again, all while pointing excitedly towards Gon.

The boy in question ducked his head down with a sheepish smile. You really were starting to sound like a parent now, and it felt nice for a change. He supposed if it was you, then being babied wouldn't be all that embarrassing.

All four of you were caught off guard as a second Chimera Ant dashed from the tree line after the first. Picking it up with its talons and taking off.

"Crap. Forgot about that one." You mumbled.

"You sensed that one too?" Kite asked, eyeing the two ants soaring away.

"Yeah, but I kinda forgot about it with everything going on."

That and there was clearly a difference between the two of them. The first ant had oozed bloodlust. The hostility radiating off made it a priority. The other ant had felt neutral. No outward desire of hurting you four. No intention of protecting its friend either.

It was just a spectator. And it didn't seem to be very strong either. It probably could have attacked when you were distracted, but it didn't. Something felt off about that one. Your thoughts were cut short by a screech so powerful, it created turbulence.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! I'M GONNA EAT YOU!!!"

You quickly moved in front of the boys, shielding them from the force of its shrieks. The ant noticed you and seemed to get angrier.

"YOU!!! I'M GONNA TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND SKIN YOU WHILE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"

You glared back at it, unwavering. Your expression unamused. Not only was this thing weak, but so were its threats. You'd definitely heard worse than that.

"I SWEAR ON MY LIFE, YOU'RE ALL DEAD! YOU HEAR MEEEEE!"

It may have been an insect, but it was more human than you had anticipated. And while you were sure killing one of these things didn't go against your previous oath, it still didn't feel right. They could think and feel, albeit evil thoughts and emotions, like people. Blood was blood, and you wouldn't be spilling any if you could help it.

You directed your attention back to the boys who you could feel starting to panic. Eyes never leaving the sky the ants had fled away in. Defeat was also radiating from them. Like they had failed.

They did fine, at least in your book. And before you could reassure them, Kite spoke up.

"It's because that one's smart." It was as if he knew exactly what they were thinking because as soon as the words left his lips, they both started to relax.

"He just let his lackey in to fight so that we would tip our hand."

They may have let the enemy get away, but you were right all along. These boys were strong. Inexperienced, but strong. They would get a chance to hone in their abilities here. It was no wonder you had so much faith in them. You weren't a pushover either, but something was holding you back.

What interesting company he had found himself in the midst of.

"Are you coming?"

He could feel surprise from the two boys and relief from you.

"See? You two did okay, so don't worry about it," You reassured.

Killua relaxed completely from your words while Gon looked back at Kite unsure. It seemed to catch the silver haired hunter off guard for a second. Expectant honey colored eyes wanting a bit of praise. You were a little grateful it wasn't you on the opposite end of that stare for once.

However, the reason why it wasn't had your expression softening a bit. Kite was someone who'd known Ging personally. Who had his full respect. And Gon had made it very clear the last thing he wanted was to disappoint his father. Which meant he also didn't want to disappoint Kite, because while he wasn't him, he was the closest thing Gon had at the moment.

You knew Killua would take a while to get there. To accept another person into his small circle yet again. But it was only a matter of time before he would give his trust too.

"Hey, don't be so disappointed. Your attacks just now, they weren't that bad," Kite assured, effectively making the boy in green beam up at him. He really did look a lot like his father.

He could feel slight irritation bubble up from your aura. If he knew you, there was a retort going something like, 'Not bad? My boys were incredible. Did you see how far they sent that thing in the air,' on the tip of your tongue.

He wouldn't admit it, at least not here, but he found your protectiveness towards them endearing. So willing to defend them, even over words. Yes, they loved you, but you absolutely cherished them. And before you could give the retort itching to chew him out, he quickly made his point. Maybe he was starting to find that temper of yours endearing too.

"You just need a bit more experience, that's all. If you wanna get stronger, this is a perfect opportunity."

And once again the thought of something bad happening to your little family went through his mind. The boys could get stronger here, yes, but they could also get hurt. You could get hurt protecting them, or from being distracted by your 'condition.'

How many times had he already asked to make sure you three wanted to go through with this?

Did it matter if he asked once more?

"If you aren't prepared, you won't be able to endure the ordeal. From here on out, in victory or defeat, it'll be hell."

And it completely blindsighted him, what happened next.

"Language!" The duo scolded.

It was as if they completely disregarded his warning. Did they really not care, or perhaps...

At the sound of your laughter he turned his head. You were clutching your stomach and wiping away a stray tear.

"I have never been more proud in my life!"

Oh

It made sense now.

You and your habits were starting to rub off. And it once again cemented the idea that the boys really were just kids. Tough as hell, but kids nonetheless.

He could see why you were deathly attached to those boys. And why they had clung to you so effortlessly.

You were doing a great job raising them so far.

"Oh and you bet your sweet bippy we're still in! You're stuck with us, so don't bother trying to scare us off now!" You looked triumphant as you spoke.

A certain confidence radiating off you. Looking at the boys besides you, he could tell they felt the exact same.

Where one went, the other two were bound to follow.

Your bright smile faltered at a jest from Killua.

"You say the most bizarre things. Are you sure you're twenty something? You sound like you're eighty-five."

"I do not, you little ghoul! It's called an 'expression.' Maybe you just need to spice up your vocabulary."

"I've got a few words in mind."

"What was that?"

"Guys stop. You're gonna scare Kite," Gon lectured, stepping between you and the small assassin.

"He's a big boy, he can take it. Ain't that right, Cinderella?" Your tone was teasing as you addressed him.

"Whatever this is," he made a gesture between you and Killua. "Do not rope me into."

You threw your head back and let out another bark of laughter while Killua stuck his tongue out at Kite.

The boy in green quickly bonking the back of his head with a "Be nice!"

It was then that Kite realized he was slowly being integrated into your small family.

For better or worse, he couldn't say yet.

-------------------------

"Hey, Y/n. I thought you said you weren't a fighter," Gon said after a bit of walking.

You all decided to tread a bit more carefully after the encounter with those Chimera Ants. Which unfortunately meant going a little slower.

"I said I didn't fight, not that I couldn't." You responded.

"Why don't you? It'd be a lot more helpful if you did," Killua asked.

"It's complicated..." You hesitated for a moment.

Was now really the time to talk about it? You couldn't sense any incoming danger. The feeling of malice not as intense in this area.

Maybe just this once.

You couldn't hide things from them forever.

"...When you make a promise to a friend, you keep it. No matter what. And when I was little, I swore I would never fight or kill another human being again."

An alarm bell rang out in Killua's head. 'Again.' What did you mean by that? Why did you say 'again?' Like you had done it before. It didn't make sense, you hated blood. Hell you were freaking out 30 minutes ago.

But why was it starting to make sense. Your ability was tracking, people specifically. Why had you needed to learn that?

You'd mentioned something about perfecting your nen at five years old. Were you killing that young? It would explain why you never made a noise while you slept.

Was that why you were unfazed when he told you he was an assassin?

Because you knew what it was like?

No. You couldn't be. Assassins killed for money to make a living. And you had nothing as far as he knew. They were also raised to be heartless.

You were not heartless.

Even if you were like him, did it really matter?

No

No it did not.

Because who you were now was the person who kept him and Gon safe. Who fussed over the little things but never underestimated them. And whatever you were at five or even a little older than that shouldn't have mattered.

You were Y/n with nothing after or any of those messy labels in front.

However, the promise you made was against humans, not ants. You didn't have to hold back against these things. You didn't have to worry about an actual person.

"But the Chimera Ants aren't human."

"But they act human. They feel human."

Right, because you could sense them. It was hard to remember sometimes that you could feel everything around you. Could you feel his earlier apprehension?

"You defended Gon, though." Killua argued. He just couldn't see the issue when you had already 'fought.'

"It goes a little something like this, okay? If I need to step in, I'll step in to protect the ones closest to me. Which at the moment is you two." Your eyes momentarily softened as you turned around to face everybody.

You were never a fan of leading.

"But promise or not, I don't like hurting people or anything that resembles a person. I don't like fighting and the damage that comes with it. I don't like spilling blood or feeling it on me. I despise taking lives and those who enjoy doing so."

More things were starting to fall in place for Kite as he listened to you. It made a little more sense now why you were holding back. Why you had sworn on your nen. It made him respect you that much more. To make such a meaningful promise at such a young age and to keep it well into adulthood. To value your morals regardless of what the limits you placed on yourself dictated.

He didn't like killing either, not doing so unless absolutely necessary. And even when his hand was forced, most were pointless. Only happening because of the fault of someone else. Like the foxbear that had attacked Gon all those years ago.

The boy didn't know, but it was something that should have been avoided.

Now you and your morals were different. You didn't fight, which was news to him. He thought you hung back because you trusted in the boys' strength. And when you'd broken that creature's arm, it looked very much intentional. But now it made sense.

'I didn't mean to do that.'

You didn't mean to engage like that. You did not mean to break its arm. To cause that much damage. You probably meant to stop it the same way you stopped him back in the Aizan Continent.

Give a warning with no real bite to it.

You didn't kill, or at least hadn't in some while. Meaning you'd disarmed people successfully and either knocked them out or stopped flights from happening altogether.

And his instincts told him it was the latter.

Your resolve and cold glare made a lot more sense now. Your uninterested but intimidating demeanor made sense.

You were done fighting in the NGL. You'd proven enough, so long as you could find the Chimera Ant queen, Kite and the boys would do all the heavy lifting. He wouldn't force you to add another pointless kill to your credit.

But as noble as your words sounded, you knew they were from a place of selfishness. If you fought, you would lose your nen, which was why it was a last resort. If you saw blood, you would panic and become useless. If you killed, it meant you were just like them.

Fear was why you didn't fight. A fear to save your own skin and keep the consequences from it at bay.

You were not a good person.

And if you had said that out loud, the one who would disagree the most would be Gon.

Because right now, he was staring up at you with nothing but admiration. The cause for it wasn't just your stance on fighting, it was your reasoning for doing so.

He loved you for keeping your word to your friend. To potentially value it over your life. No matter the disadvantage it put you in.

And he was sure you loved him and Killua back from the way you went against it to keep them safe.

It meant you valued them just as much as you valued that promise you've probably kept for years. They were just as important.

Gon didn't like it either, when people would kill and feel no remorse for it. He also didn't like when others had no compassion for their friends in battle. He didn't like death to be what determined the end of a fight. A life should never be what settled it.

However, these things weren't human. They most likely wouldn't have the same values. But you held them to the same ones regardless. And he admired you for that.

You didn't need to push yourself anymore. He and Killua would take care of the ants. And if they couldn't, then they would get Kite to help. He did seem to really like you after all. He said he wouldn't help any of you, but the moment you were in danger, he had stepped up without hesitation.

It was funny in a way, how Killua thought you wouldn't care about them just because of a small crush. If the way you had been so proud of them was anything to go by, then they would be just fine.

You deserved to have someone look after you the same way you did them. You deserved someone who could make you just as happy as you made them.

And by Gon's standards, Kite was a decent fit. At least for now, but he'd be watching. Not with as much scrutiny as Killua, but watching nonetheless.

----------------

Your steps faltered as the stench of decay once again reached your nose. It must've been the fifth massacre you've come across today. After the third time you emptied your stomach's contents, you opted for wandering around with your eyes closed. Meaning, Kite was the one now leading with you and the boys following. Occasionally asking for your input when he wasn't sure which trail to go after.

He was also surprisingly understanding and sweet during the ordeal. You figured after his 'You'll just be in my way' comment he would have pushed for you to leave.

Instead he had offered you water.

"You'll dehydrate at this rate. And right now, we need you focused. We can't risk being caught off guard again. Take small sips, we'll refill at the next lake."

He had let you take breaks and gather yourself before moving on. An air of professionalism and worry combined was the way you would describe it.

You were sure the sun had long set by now. Everything was quiet. Eerily so now that you couldn't feel any people. The silence being interrupted by an out loud observation from Kite.

"This is horrible...We could have found them by the stench."

The question of 'why' rang out in your head.

Why kill all these people and leave them there?

You thought the ants only killed for food. To feed the queen.

So why were they just leaving the bodies here?

No

Why were they mutilating them?

You'd given up on using your little spy glass to see. It was all the same anyways. Broken homes, blood, and Chimera Ant tracks that ended up leading to nowhere. And now that bodies were in the mix, the things that would potentially be highlighted would take an even bigger mental toll on whoever saw it. You were sure of that.

The boys were becoming desensitized as it was. No more shock or anger from them anymore. Just dread as the number of casualties increased. This new group of deceased certainly wasn't helping their case.

And by the smell of it, this might've been the worst all four of you had come across.

"Look at this," Killua called out.

There was a sound of something clanky being picked up. Guns if you had to guess. Loaded ones at that.

"So I guess this is the hidden side of the NGL, huh?"

"That's right," Kite confirmed.

It was just as you predicted: crime bosses. Or at least their guards. You hoped their death was quick and not as barbaric as the first body you came across.

"Scratch that one off the bingo card," you muttered.

Knowing your luck, you would indeed come across drugged up ants wielding weapons.

How fun.

"Guys!" Gon's voice snapped you from your thoughts.

You faced the direction his voice was coming from. He seemed further up than the rest of you. Distant but not out of reach. There was probably a sturdy cliff in front.

"You're gonna want to see this."

Sure enough, you were met with rock. Goddamnit. Climbing would be a struggle in your current condition.

But you had scaled up a crater before. It shouldn't be that bad as long as you focused your nen towards your feet and hands.

"You need help?" Killua's voice sounded from next to you.

"I should be fine as long as I'm not caught off guard. Don't worry about me, okay?"

You could feel uncertainty from him despite your reassurance.

"Okay. But you should know, there's a few bodies on the way up."

Your mood soured instantly.

"Of course there is. Damn," you grumbled.

Nothing was going to go your way today, was it?

When you got out of here, the first thing you would do is drown away your sorrows with a pile of sweets and take the longest nap of your life. You deserved that much for all the shit the NGL was putting you through.

"We unfortunately don't have much time to spare."

It was a brief warning from the silver haired hunter before you felt yourself being hoisted up.

You flailed slightly at the unexpected contact. Almost opening your eyes from the shock. You could faintly hear a 'Hey! You can't just pick them up like that!!!' from Killua as hands guided your arms around something.

Was that his neck???

"What're you doing?" There was a slight panic in your tone.

He wouldn't.

There's no way.

"Assisting you up. The way you are now, you won't even make it halfway without slipping. The last thing we need right now is for someone to get injured."

Crass as his words were, there was no denying the concern that littered his aura. Whether it was for you or about completing the expedition, you couldn't really tell.

You tensed once more feeling him move. The wind hitting your face let you know he was moving up quickly. Killua's aura trailing behind as Gon's became closer.

"Relax. If you let go, I won't pick you back up."

It was a warning with no real intention to follow through. And you were briefly reminded that he could once again see you. That he could probably sense just about everything going on in your head.

Your disgust. Your panic. Your ever growing hatred for the NGL. But most of all-

How drained you'd become since that first body.

How your focus started wavering until you just about lost it completely.

And you hated how small it made you feel. The position he'd chosen to carry you in didn't help. Bridal style like you were some fragile little thing. Both of those combined had caused you to verbalize your frustrations.

"I'm not a baby, you ass. I could have made my way up by myself."

But despite your aggravation, Kite's demeanor shifted into something a little softer.

"Like I said, we can't afford to waste anymore time if we can help it. Besides, you're struggling enough as it is."

All of your frustrations seemed to have vanished for a minute, surprised by the softness of his tone.

Why did he care?

Why was he worried about you?

Why had he gone through the trouble of helping you so much?

And why did it have your heart beating a little faster in your chest because of it?

No

Nononono

You were not

You couldn't be

You weren't

You weren't

You refused to believe

But the tightness in your chest and the longing in your aura begged to differ.

You liked Kite

A lot more than you should've.

And the second he set you down, you put a bit of distance between you. Now was not the time to be having these kinds of revelations. The ants came first.

The boys safety came first.

You felt Killua's aura join shortly after. A small hand gripped yours tightly. And if your eyes had been open, you would have seen the upset expression on the small assassin's face. You also would have seen a brow raise at your sudden discomfort from Gon.

He temporarily brushed it off. He'd ask you about it later, for now...

He pointed towards a group of buildings made of rock. Dozens of little lit up windows scattered throughout.

"Is this the place where the Chimera Ants nest?" He asked.

"No, it's not. They don't normally dig holes like this. They build their nests with mud and droppings."

You had forgotten Kite was Beast Hunter. He was in his complete element here, being able to use his previous knowledge to his complete advantage.

So whatever these structures were, (that you could not see at the moment) they were probably manmade. And since you couldn't feel any people...

You shook your head as to rid the thought from your brain. If you kept thinking like that you were gonna break down.

"Let's go, we'll see when we're inside." Kite instructed.

For the first time in years, a feeling of dread washed over you.

Something bad was going to happen. Something so horrible that your body was struggling to prepare you for it.

----------------------

You let your eyes adjust to the dimness of the building before continuing forward. You figured most of the henchmen had been killed outside, meaning there shouldn't be any bodies for you to worry about here.

You should be able to focus for now.

Lacking your previous drive, you were left trailing behind the boys. Your mind justifying it was better this way. Kite would be able to sense any danger in front and you would sense what was in back.

But even that did little to soothe your growing anxiety towards the situation.

Your previous 100 meter radius had dwindled down to around 60 with your mental and physical fatigue. It was okay, but not good enough.

"Now, we don't know when or from where they'll strike, so don't let your guard down. And try not to let what you may see affect you."

You knew that warning was meant for the boys, however, it felt like that last part was directed towards you. Which you appreciated, but it wouldn't really help all that much.

Especially not with goosebumps rising on your arms. And why exactly? You didn't know. Maybe it had something to do with why the air was suddenly thicker in here. Why the atmosphere felt a little more sinister than it should've.

"Yeah, you don't have to worry. We understand," Killua assured.

"The other Chimera Ant completely concealed his presence."

And the small assassin quickly remembered that you sensed that one too. You could see what they couldn't and if you weren't so freaked out by blood, you would have been able to warn them.

So this might be their only chance to search for anything before you caught sight of another bloodied body.

"Can you feel anyone, Y/n?" Killua asked.

You stood still for a second and allowed your ability to search. There were three blimps of life right next to you. One jittery, one dark, and another calm. All being overcome by a feeling of unease.

You focused your eyes a little further than that. Five more little sparks standing still. As if waiting.

"I'm getting five. But I can't tell if they're people or ants." You answered at last.

They were also far enough that you couldn't get a proper read on their strength. However, you could still read what they were feeling.

"Just five? Are you sure?" Gon questioned, instinctively inching towards you.

You nodded.

"Two of them are extremely scared. They feel...."

Broken

Like they had their humanity stripped away from them. An emptiness with a carnal fear. A want for the pain to stop.

You did not like this feeling. It felt icky and dark. So incredibly gross it made you want to turn around.

Could it be possible the ants were torturing people?

But why?

The potential reason made a sick feeling settle in your stomach.

"Y/n?" A worried call of your name before a small hand reached for yours.

You looked down and were met with honey colored eyes full of concern. It would do no good scaring him with what you just sensed. The best thing right now was to keep moving forward and hope you'd made a faulty assessment. (But you've never been wrong before.)

"We should get moving... Just remember whatever happens here, it's not your fault."

'It's not your fault if you can't save everyone' was what you meant to say. Because while you could physically help those two people, you couldn't help them live past what they'd already experienced. And the more you stood in one place, the harder it was to keep your mind from coming up with gruesome scenarios of what was about to happen.

So you moved forward, two pairs of worried eyes following you. Both trying to take in your words.

"It's not your fault."

A statement usually meant for comfort that had somehow sounded more foreboding than anything. Rather than relax them, one felt panicked. The other anxious.

"Keep moving." Kite instructed, having sensed the duo starting to lag behind.

Although harsh, the words gave them the encouragement to snap out of it and rush after you. Yet they both couldn't shake the same question from their minds.

What exactly had you sensed?

------------------------

You entered what you assumed was the center of the large structure. Various boxes and broken chemical vats scattered throughout. Safe to assume this was the drug factory. Maybe the two auras you sensed were just druggies on a bad trip?

There was also dried blood splattered here and there. You tried to ignore the queasy feeling once again building up in your stomach. You thought you would have desensitized some by now. Guess you overestimated yourself.

"Wait a minute, is this-" Gon started. Having realized just what the giant vats might've been used for.

"Yes. This is the dark underbelly of the NGL," Kite answered.

On the bright side, the ants had gotten rid of a major crime boss.

Yeah, no. There was no bright side. This country was just a terrible mess from the beginning and you were starting to doubt even coming at all.

"It's a drug factory," Killua surmised.

"Yeah, so don't be picking up what you're not supposed to. Got it, gremlin?" You warned.

The last thing you wanted for your boys to get sick messing around with what they shouldn't have.

And while Killua normally would have given you pushback to get on your nerves, right now he was relieved. You were still looking after them. Still fussing over them and making a big deal out of nothing.

You were still okay, or as okay as you could be right now. You were still here.

"I won't. Geez, you'd think me and Gon were babies from the way you treat us." He mumbled out the last part, but he could tell you heard it from the small flick you gave to his forehead.

"What type of drug did you say was manufactured here? It's not like crack is it?" You addressed the silver haired hunter who almost lost his composure from your bluntness.

"It's a type of pill called DD and it's mass produced right here," Kite started to explain before elaborating further.

"The hottest new drug on the mainland. It's made from bira trees. There must be a field close by. Ironic given their status as conservationist, right?"

"Not surprising considering how they ran things back at the border. The people in charge don't give a damn what happens here as long as it makes them money." You responded.

It was just the way things were. The rich and powerful taking advantage of the unaware poor and weak. You had known the minute you stepped foot here what things would be like.

"They're making more than just drugs. Look," Killua called out.

"They're the same ones from earlier." He picked up what looked like another automatic. The sight made you frown as another unwanted memory bubbled up to the surface.

"So how does that ability of yours work, cookies and cream?"

"Quit calling me that, gap tooth! And it works by my nen locking onto a target before I fire. Then I manipulate the ammo to follow after. The result: a bullet that never misses!"

"So how come there's holes everywhere except the bullseye?"

"Shut up!"

You hadn't thought about him in a long time. But considering his entire ability revolved around guns, it made perfect sense.

You hoped he was doing well.

"If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say only the leaders of the NGL know the truth," Kite speculated.

"The other community members probably genuinely identify with the environmental message."

"To a cultish degree if they were so willing to execute people over it," you added.

Again, execute, if you may emphasize. Not give a warning or arrest. Execution.

You blamed it on a mob mentality. Of which had ostracized you as a child.

Didn't mean you couldn't respect them for living this way though. It truly was admirable to willingly live isolated from the world.

"This facility, it's the core of the NGL underground, isn't it? So if there isn't anybody in here besides those five 'people' then..." Killua started.

"That would suggest that the Chimera Ants have completely wiped out the underground, excluding a few stragglers. And that a bunch of amateurs with guns didn't stand a chance against them." Kite answered.

It was at that moment you started to sense movement. The five blips of aura slowly starting to approach.

"But what about their boss?" Gon asked.

"He either escaped or was eaten. Either way this is bad news." Kite shrugged off before tensing.

Something was coming this way.

Something that reeked of both bloodlust and fear.

Was this what you sensed when the four of you first arrived? It was no wonder why all your energy had drained in one go.

He held a hand up to signal silence from the boys as the enemy approached.

You also brought your guard back up, meeting his eye and nodding. A silent confirmation that you'd both sensed whatever heading this way wasn't good.

"They're slowly approaching through the middle tunnel." Kite's voice was low as he spoke. Trying not to alert the enemy to your presence just yet.

You stalked forward, footsteps so silent it was like you weren't there. Try as you might though, you couldn't slow your rapidly beating heart. You were too consumed in the ickiness of those auras to try.

You couldn't help but notice they were more spread out than you had originally thought. Three in the middle with the other two separated on either side.

Your mouth grew dry as the anxiety from the presences besides you flared.

"There are more in the left and right tunnels." Kite informed the boys.

And you were very much grateful for it because right now, you didn't think you could speak through your focus. Your eyes searching the darkness for any potential attack. Not wanting to be unguarded again like with the first ant.

"What's your approximate search radius? Is it as good as Y/n's?" Killua questioned Kite.

If there was a chance, even a small one that you'd get a break, it was best to take it. He didn't like seeing you so drained and fidgety.

He didn't want you to keep forcing yourself.

"Unfortunately not. My radius is everything within 45 meters." The silver haired hunter answered.

"Forty-five? So a little less than half of theirs." Gon concluded.

To be fair, you were working with about 60 right now. It would probably dwindle down to zero by the end of the night.

"But depending on my mental and physical state, I'm able to increase that by a few meters... Here they come."

On cue, a sort of rattling sound filled the space. Along with whimpers and cries. The feeling of fear skyrocketing as a figure made its way into the light.

You couldn't tell if you verbalized your horror or not. If you'd let out a gasp or noise of terror. But you did know that you immediately extended your arm outward to prevent the boys from moving forward.

To try and shield them from the sight.

The auras that had been so broken, so devoid of humanity, so driven to the brink of insanity, belonged to humans. Two humans stripped of everything but the skin on their backs.

Two humans being treated like slaves.

Like animals.

Bound by their necks to another monster trailing behind them.

You could tell you were shaking as they inched forward on their hands and knees. You own eyes wide and panicked. Trying to wake you from whatever nightmare your mind conjured up this time.

Because this

This couldn't be real.

"Keep it down you two!" The Chimera Ant lectured before yanking the chain that bound two humans up, effectively choking them.

You needed to get out of here.

You needed to leave.

This was a mistake.

"Who the hell are you?"

Had that thing barley noticed you four?

"How dare you intrude on my turf!"

Your unoccupied hand clenched.

"Help us!!! You gotta help us!!!" One of the men begged.

"Shut your damn mouth, Spot! You're a dog remember!?!?"

You saw the ant lifting it's front hoove up. You turned your head and covered your ears as fast as you could.

The resounding 'crunch' being muffled for you.

This was a mistake.

You felt Gon's aura spike with a horrified disbelief. He shouldn't have to see this.

They both shouldn't be here.

"Oops. I didn't mean to do that." It chuckled out. Shaking its leg to rid it of the gore.

Its words mirroring your earlier ones.

The only difference was, this thing felt no remorse at all for its actions. It felt proud.

"Well whatever. I was getting bored with them anyway. Guess I'll get rid of Rover here, too."

At that you snapped your head up, unable to do anything but watch as the other man tried to plead for his life. To play desperately the part he was given in the hopes he would be spared.

"When you beg like that... It just makes me wanna kill you even more."

The ant went to raise it's hoove up once more. And knowing what was about to happen, both you and Gon tried to jump forward.

"NO DONT!"

"STOP!"

But the both of you were pulled back by Kite. Who admittedly had to use a little more force with you to keep you from leaving.

"Let me go!" Gon struggled against the grip on his wrist.

You, however, had kept still the moment he touched you. You'd been a fool just now. And like always, Kite had made the right decision. You shouldn't have been so careless. You didn't know what these new ants were capable of, and you weren't in any state to do anything about the current situation.

Your judgement had been clouded by your own fear. Your own desperation to prevent another death from happening in front of you.

You were such a disgrace.

"Don't move carelessly. There's more than one enemy here. And they want you to rush toward them." Kite lectured.

If you were in your right state of mind, you would have thanked him for being so levelheaded. For being able to step in before you and Gon had gotten hurt acting recklessly. For being able to explain 'why' and effectively stopping Gon's struggling.

But before you could start calming yourself down, you heard something.

Laughter.

Joyous, sinister laughter.

So loud and boisterous it bounced off the cave walls.

Your head hung low, but even though you couldn't see them, you could feel two more auras approach. Both as evil as the first.

"Now, bye-bye," The first ant cooed down to its captive.

"HELP ME!"

You flinched at the sound of bone breaking. The force being too much for the skull under it, sending specks of blood your way.

"Don't look away!" Kite's harsh words were directed at Gon, who was also having trouble stomaching the sight in front of him.

"If they shoot, you won't be able to see the projectile."

And even though you agreed with his reasoning, you disagreed about it being applied to the boys.

They shouldn't have to be forced to see this.

They were just kids.

They shouldn't have to be desensitized to dead bodies. They shouldn't be used to feeling nothing at the sight in front of them.

Your entire body had started shaking. But something about your reaction was different this time. It wasn't nausea coursing through your veins, but anger.

So much disgust riddled with rage that you trembled to keep your body at bay.

You promised.

You promised.

But all your sympathy and restraint had vanished along with the man's life in front of you.

Don't do it.

Because if you did, then it was all over.

If you lost control of your aura again, this new life you were starting to live would be over.

Endure it.

Endure the neverending feeling of bloodlust.

Endure the fact that this was all real and these monsters had committed an irredeemable act of violence.

Endure the pain from your palms being inflicted by your own nails in an attempt to keep your last shred of sanity.

"Why can't we let them live? Why can't we just leave?"

"Because Father said so. You know better than anyone else we can't hesitate. We have to finish the job we were given."

A harsh stomp combined with a booming crunch as blood poured from what once was someone's head.

"You've become soft, Y/n."

But all the young child could focus on was the never ending stream of crimson that inched towards them. Briefly touching the tips of their boots before they jumped back. As if touched by fire.

You remembered now.

Why you despised the sight of blood.

Your shaky figure did not go unnoticed by the silver haired hunter.

Who felt every bit of your inner turmoil radiate off you.

Unfortunately, there was nothing any of you could do to save that man. He was a goner from the start. And now that you had completely lost all your focus, he would need to step up for the boys. Just while you were temporarily out of commission.

And then you would need to leave. This was clearly too much for you. You'd done enough. You'd gotten them this far.

"I've decided," The head ant started.

"From now on, you four are all gonna be my new dogs."

It was at that moment you finally broke. All warmth, all barriers that had been broken down were gone. The tired circles under your eyes worse than they had ever been.

But it was your eyes themselves that had changed drastically. They were cold. So unbelievably dark and devoid of the brightness they once possessed.

So numb and empty.

"They've always been aggressive, but consuming malicious humans has had an effect on them. And it's made them even more evil." Kite explained.

And while both boys tensed even more at the news, you didn't react. Didn't nod in agreement or move. Just stared down with that empty look and hands clenched by your side.

"What do you mean?" Gon asked.

"Phagogenesis, right?" Killua responded.

"If we don't deal with them here, there's no telling how many more people will be killed."

The three auras next to you increased in output, becoming defensive.

They were going to fight, weren't they?

"Go! Capture them!" The head ant commanded its lackies.

You shouldn't be here.

It was dangerous.

"I'll take the one in the back. The ones rushing at us will go to you two. Y/n, it's best you stay back for now." Kite ordered.

The thought crossed your mind that he was doing a great job stepping into the mentor role. But it was drowned out by your more panicky thoughts. The ones that were begging you to leave while you still had some semblance of control.

But you couldn't just leave Gon and Killua here. You couldn't just run away and hope for the best. You couldn't be a coward.

You had to see this through.

Just for a little while longer.

Both boys spared a worried glance towards you. Wanting to stay by your side until they were sure you were okay. However, the Chimera Ants charging towards them made that idea impossible.

So reluctantly, both agreed to Kite's terms.

"Okay. Make sure nothing happens to them."

It was a light warning from Gon. Because while he trusted the silver haired hunter, he didn't trust the ants. They didn't play fair, and right now, you weren't all there to see their tricks. He didn't want to see you get hurt.

"Right, but you better keep them safe."

And Killua decided this would be his test. If Kite could protect you, then he would stop heckling him. Your happiness meant a lot, but your safety meant even more. If this guy could do that much, then he was alright in the small assassin's book.

"Don't hesitate. Fight to kill." A last warning from Kite as the boys charged forward and lead the ants away.

At that, you finally raised your head up to assess the situation. Killua had moved to the left, a mosquito type creature following after him. Gon was to the right alongside what you guessed was a different type of bug Chimera Ant. Most likely a centipede given all the arms it had. In front of you was some centaur-esque creature. Glaring you and Kite down with anticipation. (Your mind creating a mental blockage around the two broken bodies.)

You needed a distraction right now. Watching the boys fight should do the trick. It should be able to help ground you. So you took a deep breath and got into a comfortable crouching position. One that helped clear your head when you were smaller.

The taller male eyed you from his peripheral but said nothing. You were standing down, but not letting up your guard. You should be fine.

You directed your attention to Gon. Watching as the ant gave a barrage of punches, each being blocked by a more skilled Gon. And when the creature went to give its signature attack, it was left confused as the boy vanished. Only for him to reappear and give a punch of his own to its spine.

And like Kite instructed, Gon didn't hesitate. He summoned nen into his fist, charging up his attack.

A shriek of laughter grabbed your attention from the other side of the factory. The mosquito ant was taking dives around Killua, using the ability to fly to its advantage.

You felt Killua's aura darken. Becoming intense and threatening as the ant went to charge in again. Its arms being ripped to shreds by his quick movements and augmented hand.

Killua kept at it, destroying it's limbs up to the shoulder. His speed and precision causing a visual distortion that made his arms resemble snakes.

You would have been proud if you were in the right state of mind.

The ant retaliated by shooting out a stinger from its mouth. Killua dodged it easily, but wasn't in the clear quite yet. With him distracted, the ant shot out a second stinger from behind, piercing his back.

The ant cheered triumphantly as he fell.

But you still felt Killua's aura going strong. And you knew he was immune to poison thanks to his batshit crazy family.

So it didn't surprise you when he leapt back up and twisted the Ant's neck around. You flinched at the sound. It surprised you momentarily when the ant kept talking. Like it didn't just have its neck snapped.

These things really weren't human, were they?

Making sure to finish what he started, Killua once again manipulated his hand and made one slash towards the Ant's head.

Blue blood sprayed out this time.

You might be able to stomach that.

Killua turned to you, expecting a 'Good job, gremlin!' Instead he was met with cold eyes that shifted direction back towards Gon.

You always praised them after a fight.

You always cheered them on.

So what was this?

This emptiness in your eyes that felt a little too similar to the ones on Greed Island when he asked about that girl.

You needed space and time to think. Then you'd be back to your old self.

Right?

The centaur ant taunted its living subordinate, making a feeling of unease consume it. The ant stood still, as if in thought. Then a new feeling of confidence came from it.

Your view quickly became obscure by the head ant who radiated the most bloodlust. Kite's aura shifted into something protective from next to you as the ant approached.

"Hey, we should get this started soon, huh? Since clearly one of you has nothing better to do."

Seems you were also sensing cockiness.

"Wait a little longer," Kite dismissed. You figured he was also invested in how the fights between the boys would go.

"Screw that! It's not like either of you have a choice anyway!" It bellowed.

"You're in my way. Move...or I'll make you suffer." You at last lifted your head up to address the ant. Your warning causing the creature to meet your glare.

And in your eyes he saw himself die a thousand times over. A thousand ways you would torture him before letting him perish. The eyes of a killer, of a predator that knew its prey stood no chance.

But the thing that scared him the most was your scent. Imbedded in your very being was the stench of blood. He had heard his comrade, Hagya, say once that a true predator, a true threat would have killed so much that the stench of blood would have stained their very soul.

If Hagya was right, then you were a very dangerous Rare. But Yuunju was not a feeble weakling. He would defeat you and make you his new dog. Maybe sick you on your friends for even putting the thought that he should be scared of you in his head.

"You don't scare me!"

"Would you like me to?"

Your cold eyes pierced its very soul. It took a step back as you stood up. You disappeared and reappeared behind the creature, situating yourself back down between the starting fight and Gon's.

He held his breath as you spoke.

"Don't get in my way again. You're not worth breaking the promise I've kept for 13 years."

Yuunju could not beat you. He knew that now. You were too dangerous for even the strongest squadron leaders. But-

If he could kill one of your companions, that might scare you enough to let down your guard. He might be able to have an opening. The question was, who should he kill?

The answer was obvious and right in front of him.

"You," The creature pointed its finger at Kite.

"Will be my opponent. Now, let me see what you've got!"

Kite had watched your exchange with the Chimera Ant with a small frown on his face. He knew you could be intimidating. He witnessed it firsthand along with the cold resolve in your eyes.

But this...

This was not you.

Your presence had never been this cruel. It had never felt so dark.

You were not a malicious person, but right now your demeanor alone had put the fear of god into that Chimera Ant.

He didn't like this.

He thought he didn't like it when you were upset, but right now... He would take that over whatever this was. He would take your snarky comments and cold shoulder any day if it meant he'd never get to see your eyes so devoid of their usual fire and mirth.

"Hurry up before I change my mind!"

Kite let out a tired sigh of his own at this Chimera Ant's persistence. He took a familiar fighting stance. The one he used during your first encounter with a Chimera Ant. Aura becoming something a little more intimidating.

"If you insist."

And you couldn't help but shift your attention towards them, especially when the ant started to radiate weariness. Besides, the other one was the weakest you'd come across today. Gon would be able to beat it easily.

If this was the best the Chimera Ants had, taking down the queen would be a walk in the park.

"Tell me, why are you here?" Kite questioned.

It probably was a good idea to probe these guys for answers. However, you doubt he would be able to get anything out of it. This thing seemed very stubborn and hotheaded. Not a great candidate for answers.

"Huh? This is my castle. A king doesn't need to have a reason to be in his own castle," The ant answered.

Some king it was. Being a little bitch and using brute force to steal a drug factory. Too weak to build up its own empire from scratch. Or perhaps lazy from the way it sent its lackeys to battle first.

"There are many chemicals here that emit strong odors. I would expect you'd want to avoid this place."

A fair point actually. Why would this thing stay in a place that was filled with hazardous materials? Risk inhaling something it shouldn't just for cover.

But if you were being realistic, it was probably because this place was abandoned before these ants got here. It probably let the others do all the work before taking over.

"Shut up! I happen to like it here!" The ant argued.

Liar

"Where's the leader of the NGL? What happened?"

"Beats me. I figure he's probably already inside the queen's belly."

The creature then let out amused laughter.

This thing was lucky it wasn't you who it was fighting.

"I'll build my own kingdom starting here. Then I'll take over the whole world!" The creature monologued.

How pathetic.

How funny actually. This thing couldn't even stare you in the eye, but it planned to take over the world?

Seems Kite was also fed up with this ant, judging by his next words.

"That's impossible for a vulgar bastard who likes to amuse himself by making humans into dogs."

Was that anger slowly rising to the surface? You didn't know he could get mad.

"Is that so?" The ant started.

"Well, you're right! I can't wait to strip you and your friend down and put collars around your necks!"

The creature rushed towards Kite, aiming a punch that was quickly dodged. The silver haired hunter jumping to the side. Taking precise steps back, looking completely unfazed by the ant's attempt.

"BASTARD!" The creature let out a growl before charging forward again.

This time using its hooves to attack. And like before, Kite easily evaded them. Dodging with a spin that gave him momentum to slam his leg against the Ant's head.

It caught you off guard how pretty he looked. How elegant and swift his movements were. Each step being calculated in such a way it almost looked like he was dancing. Silver hair swaying with his movements, making the sight all the more ethereal. It was such a stark contrast to the uncoordinated way the boys fought.

He truly was a beautiful fighter. His posture relaxed and yet it left no room for any openings. This ant was clearly no match for him. But it didn't seem to get that.

It tried to go in for another punch, only for Kite to use the extended arm to tip himself over. Landing directly on the centaur ant's back. It looked back at him dumbfounded. The shock being replaced by anger as Kite finally summoned his ability.

"Hey! Get down here!" Snapping out of its thoughts, the ant tried to swing once again.

It would never learn.

Kite stepped down and skidded slightly back. The little clown summoned from his nen glared at him.

"What is the deal!?!? You only summon me when you're in trouble! You'd better watch it!"

The way it moved around was almost cartoon-ish. Moving side to side and spinning in the air. It reminded you of the little trick you learned for her when you were smaller.

"I don't have time for idle chit chat. Just hurry it up," Kite dismissed. Like he was arguing with a child.

"You know what your problem is? You're too impatient!" Crazy Slots chastised before the numbers started rolling in its mouth.

"Are you messing with me!?!" The ant had grown tired of waiting around. Of seeing this mockery being thrown in his face during combat.

"Forget about making you my dog, I'm gonna kill you!" The ant charged forward one last time, intending to make it count.

"Four!"

"Really? That's a bad spin."

"What did you just say!?! I don't have any bad spins, ungrateful bastard!!!"

For the first time that night, you cracked a small smile. It was a little amusing that his own ability gave him shit. And that he argued back with it. No wonder he put up with you so well.

But your enjoyment had quickly ended as the ant closed in.

"YOU'RE DEAD!"

Kite aimed the carbine up and fired. The singular shot ringing through the cave. That was all it took as the Chimera Ant collapsed, a bullet going right through its skull.

You shuffled to the side to avoid the small droplets of blue blood that came your way.

It was just ink. Just squid ink. Nothing more, nothing less.

You looked up, meeting a very concerned look from Kite. You ignored it. You didn't need any sympathy. You turned your head back in Gon's direction who still hadn't made his move yet.

But he wasn't stalling. He was waiting for the ant to attack first. And attack it did. Leaping towards him with its arms outstretched before tucking the right side in.

But whatever it had planned, it couldn't have predicted Gon's next attack.

"Jan-Ken-Scissors!"

The nen bottled up in his fist outstretched into what looked like a sword. He clutched his wrist and slashed down, cutting the ant in half at an angle.

Your eyes widened at the new move. The furthest he got on Greed Island was paper. And even then, he couldn't seem to get it down. He must've barley thought to try this one out.

God what was he thinking!?!

What if it didn't work!!?!

Never one to stick to certainties, was he? But you'd throw him a bone. You were too tired to lecture right now. You were also dreading what came next. But it was for their own good.

You couldn't stay here any longer.

Like Killua, Gon was expecting you to jump up and either say how proud you were, or completely chew him out for trying a new attack in the middle of a fight.

He was expecting you to be you. What he was not expecting was for you to simply stand up and cross your arms. To look right past instead of at him. It was like you didn't care anymore.

He froze as he sensed movement from behind him.

It all happened so fast. The ordeal only lasting a minute. A minute that stretched into an eternity.

A loud shriek filled the air before it was cut short. The atmosphere in the air became impossibly thick. There was a 'thud' and the sound of the cement breaking before he mustered the courage to turn around.

Never had you looked so wrong. So not like yourself. But that wasn't the issue. You see, the problem was your aura that had been suppressed for so long, was finally pouring out.

The ant that tried to kill Gon just now, was under the heel of your shoe. It didn't even see you move towards it. Couldn't even fathom that the pain coursing through its body had been from you kicking it down with an unrestrained force. It was sure whatever was left of its spine was gone. Its head pinned beneath your foot, choking on whatever this feeling was that radiated off of you.

It was like nothing Gon and Killua had ever felt before. Worse than Hisoka during the Hunter Exam. Worse than anything Illumi could produce. Worse than the nen Razor summoned on Greed Island.

And it was coming from you.

This wasn't you.

This couldn't be you.

The person looking down at the Chimera Ant like it was beneath them. Like it was nothing. The cruelty behind your eyes made it impossible to tell it was you.

The force of your aura causing Gon to fall over and Killua to clutch at his neck. Both unable to fend off your Ren.

So evil it was actually suffocating them.

So dark that even with his own aura guarding him, Kite couldn't avoid the paralyzing effects.

And then you'd spoke.

Voice so harsh and unforgiving. Like you were mocking the creature beneath you.

"Would you like to see what your god looks like?"

'S M A S H'

Blue blood splattered all the way up to your knee. The warm liquid seeping into the thin fabric of your shoe. Touching your skin and pooling underneath the rest of the Ant's body as your aura swelled with an indescribable dark feeling.

"Don't pretend you don't enjoy it. I've seen you covered head to toe in crimson. You enjoy the feeling of blood on your skin. The way it seeps into your clothing and stains your hair. Having it caked onto you while presenting Father with your prize. Who are you trying to kid, little one?

You don't believe in mercy."

All at once the feeling disappeared. You looked down shakily at what you'd just done. The sound of your heart pounding in your ears the only thing you could hear as the ant twitched two more times before stilling. Dark blue spreading on the bottoms of your pant legs.

You fell back in a panic. Shuffling away on your hands and desperately kicking around your 'tainted' foot in the attempts to rid it of the soaked through shoe. Scooching back in a panic and mumbling 'Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!' like a mantra.

The blood wouldn't go away. It was stuck to you. Marking you and reminding you of what you just did. Staining your skin and following you in a murky trail.

A sick feeling settled in your stomach. Rising up and threatening to choke you. Your hands reached up and covered your mouth, tears brimming at the corners of your eyes as you willed the vile to go away. Pleading with your body to wake up. You'd seen enough.

Please just let this nightmare end already.

Please.

"Y/n?" Gon called out as he struggled to feet, finally being able to breathe after your Ren disappeared. Who didn't know what happened, but knew that you were not okay.

But even though you were looking directly at him, you didn't see him. All you could see was her. Brown eyes so light, they were almost gold. But they were filled with fear and uncertainty.

Having just witnessed you do the one thing you swore you'd never do again. Having felt the monsters you'd kept away from her. Because she wasn't like you. She shouldn't have seen you do that.

You didn't want her to stare at you with such disappointment and betrayal. A frown that told you she would never forgive you for this.

The eyes on your back were scorching. All of them watching you. Watching you crumble and disgrace their namesake.

Her figure approached you slowly and your mind went into a panic. You were not safe to be around. You'd hurt her. They would hurt her for being here when she wasn't supposed to.

"STAY AWAY!"

You'd made a swipe with your hand to stop her. To keep her back. But even though the darkness of your aura was gone, it was pouring out at an unregulated rate. Unable to stop it from applying to your movements.

Gon stood still in shock as the power from your unintentional slash approached. But before it could reach him, he was picked up and moved out of the way.

Kite had barely made it.

The ceiling and wall being sliced clean through. You would kill somebody at this rate. Somebody human. He realized now why you had been so adamant about holding back. About being scared of letting loose.

Because this was the result. Tonight had been too much for you. You'd finally reached your breaking point. He took a second to analyze your state.

You were breathing frantically with a purple hue covering your eyes. Your nen must've activated during your panic. Showing you something that they could not see. Perhaps altering your reality a bit.

That would explain why you lashed out at Gon. Because he knew that you would never attack either of those boys. You'd sooner die than do something like that.

But you weren't you right now.

"You two need to leave, now."

Both boys stared at him like they hadn't heard correctly. That what he just proposed was inconceivable.

"Are you kidding me!?!? No!!! We're not leaving them like this!!!" Killua protested.

Because even though he was scared, even though you had reminded him of his brother in that moment, he still loved you. And he wouldn't just abandon you because Kite said so.

"I don't care what you say! Y/n needs-!"

"Now!" It was the closest Kite had come to actually yelling at them.

And Gon hesitated before pulling Killua away. He wanted to help you, too. But the way you had looked at him, like you didn't recognize him, told him there was nothing they could do.

They needed to leave before you accidentally hurt them. But it wasn't because he was afraid of you. He would never fault you for something you had no control of at the moment. However, he knew that you would. You would never forgive yourself if you hurt them, even if it wasn't on purpose.

"Are you actually siding with him!?!" Killua struggled in Gon's grip, trying to turn around.

"Think. They don't recognize us right now. We're helping by not being in the way. How do you think they would feel if they accidentally hurt us?"

The small assassin had stopped struggling at once. Mulling over his best friend's words and knowing he was right. He gave one last look back before letting Gon guide him outside.

"Okay... But if he hurts them, I'll-"

"He won't. Believe it or not, Y/n isn't only important to us."

------------------------------------

The second the boys were out of ear shot, Kite turned to face you properly. You were going through some form of shock judging by the way you shook and backed yourself into a corner. This new side to you was also unrecognizable. Your fear came off from you in waves. Something you had never been up until now.

But just what was it that had frightened you to this point? The Chimera Ant almost getting Gon? No, that didn't seem likely with the way you were after restraining it.

Was it blood? Maybe seeing too much and actually feeling it on you had done it?

He'd give just about anything to know what was going on in that head of yours. For any clue that would help calm you down.

Unfortunately for you, Kite was not the best with these things.

Whenever one of his students was upset, it was usually the others that soothed them. His words could be cruel sometimes. Not coming out the way he would have liked, and they knew that. So he was never really sought after for comfort if something happened.

And the one time he tried, he ended up making it worse. Being nurturing was never really a necessity growing up, and living in that sewer for so many years only further stunted his emotional growth.

It was an understatement to say he had no idea how to approach you now. But he would try. It was better him than either of those boys who were more at risk of being accidentally hurt.

He took slow, heavy steps towards you. Trying his best to alert you to his presence to avoid frightening you more. But you didn't seem to hear them. And as he stood directly in front of you, you didn't seem to see him either.

Eyes still engulfed in your nen.

Touch might snap you out of it. Something real that you could focus on. Slowly, he started to extend his arm out to you. Willing you to take it and finally let your guard down.

However, the moment he reached out his hand to you, you flinched away and curled into yourself. Putting your arms in front of your face as if to shield yourself.

Like he was going to hit you.

"IM SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I PROMISE!"

His heart broke for you in that moment. The action reminding him of his time out on the streets. Fending off blows from angry vendors just to be able to eat. Body so used to being beaten down it naturally contorted into a position that would leave it the least injured.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I SWEAR! I SWEAR! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!"

But it was the frantic way you apologized that lead him to believe a very different conclusion about what happened to you.

Trying desperately to appease and look small.

Avoiding a punishment that would never happen.

So many broken pieces that just couldn't be put back together anymore. But he would try. And he sincerely hoped whoever did that to you was dead.

He crouched down to meet your huddled up form. Your eyes tightly closed and hands still up for protection. There were about two ways this could go. He would either successfully calm you down or be seriously injured trying.

He could make peace with both.

So as carefully as he could, he engulfed you in what he hoped was a comforting embrace. Immediately you had stilled. Your body tensing up but not lashing out.

Warmth was the first thing you were able to decipher. A warmth and light pressure that was overriding the fear little by little. Making your body start to lean into whatever had been wrapped around you. Craving the feeling and wanting more of it.

The next thing that hit you was a familiar scent you couldn't put your finger on just yet. The calming scent of a forest. Of pine and something a little sweeter. Something reminiscent of lilac. Your senses being flooded by the pleasant smell. One that your mind had perceived as comforting.

You took a deep breath twice before the nen around your eyes at last dispersed.

You were in the NGL. You were in the middle of a drug factory fighting ants. And one had almost killed your little brother. But you saved him.

And then you had gotten mad. So very mad at the fact that these things didn't have any sympathy. That they lacked feeling remorseful for their actions and how even though they were beat, still insisted on causing harm. Their bloodlust so unrelenting it had drained you of everything you had.

Then you'd broken your promise to her. The one set in stone with the exception to anything that wasn't human. The one that you would apply to any living thing because the two of you couldn't have perceived creatures like these to exist.

But she wasn't here.

They weren't here.

Your own nen visualization had tricked your already frantic mind. And now that it had been unsummoned, you could start to think clearly.

She hadn't been real. You knew she was gone. That there was no way for her to be here with you. But your mind loved to play the cruelest of tricks on you.

This feeling though, this exchange of warmth and the comforting scent that surrounded your very being, was real.

It only just occurred to you now that your vision was obscured by something.

No, someone.

And it finally clicked for you where the source of this comfort came from.

"Kite?" Your laxed hands against his chest had started to grip the fabric of his shirt.

"Yeah... Welcome back." His body had become more relaxed against yours, but the arms around you unconsciously pulled you a little closer.

He was here.

He was real.

A momentary relief before you started trembling again. Your boys weren't here. They had seen you be just as ruthless as those Chimera Ants. They'd felt the darkness of your aura that was never supposed to be out in the open again. That they probably thought was yours all the time. But it wasn't.

That wasn't your default and you'd swear it over and over until your throat was raw.

But you knew it wouldn't make much of a difference. They'd seen you at your worst. As a monster.

And then another horrific thought struck you. For those few moments you lost yourself, you'd become a beacon. A beacon for them.

You were such a fuckup.

Your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault

You clutched desperately at the being in front of you. Eyes brimming with a wetness that you would not let fall. You didn't deserve to cry. You were the one who messed up. The one who deserved to suffer. You shouldn't even be accepting the kindness being offered to you right now. You didn't deserve it.

Kite frowned as your condition started to worsen again. You were more present, but your aura was still engulfed in an immense feeling of guilt. Eating away at your mental state. Your resolve keeping you from letting out your frustrations. Still trying to keep yourself together while you were rapidly unraveling.

You were shaking, but you weren't crying. Clutching his shirt so hard he was sure there would be small holes when you let go. And that was probably what you needed most right now.

To let everything go. Everything you've felt since you got here. Everything you'd been bottling up since before.

"It's okay. I've got you." He rested his head on top of yours. Voice as soft and encouraging as he could muster. Knowing you'd heard him from the way your trembling ceased.

"You don't have to hold it in any more, so do me a favor and let go. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?"

It must've been the way he said it, with such a fondness, with so much assurance. Like it was really okay for you to take this opportunity and just be small for once. To have someone help lighten the burdens you carried.

Or perhaps it had been the way his entire being engulfed yours. Creating a little bubble of safety where it was just the two of you. Where nobody else could see you finally break down.

And all at once the damn bursts. Your cries were silent, but they were still there. Clutching Kite impossibly closer. Wanting to be enveloped in his presence. Wanting the feeling of him to drown everything else out. All the terrors this night had shown you.

Letting him move a hand up to cradle your head forwards. Resting between the junction of his neck and shoulder as your tears flowed unrestrained for the first time in years.

The rational part of your brain screaming at you to pull yourself together and toughen up. That being this weak in front of others was bad.

But you couldn't help ignoring it. Instead, focusing on the fingers running through your hair in an attempt to soothe you. Letting you know that it truly was okay.

That the mental toll tonight had given you was justified. And you wanted to believe that, too. But you just couldn't. You could never justify putting everyone at risk because you were too stubborn to leave. Too stubborn to listen to the cues your body was giving you.

Your voice filled with mirth had never sounded as broken as it did when you finally spoke.

"I'm such a failure. I thought- I thought I could make it work. That things would be fine here. But I'm such a screw up. I never should have-"

The shakes coursing through your body were violent as you took a second to let out another silent sob.

Why had you still insisted on hiding.

"I never should have left that stupid game. I never should have come here. I never should have lost control like that."

But you wanted to foolishly believe you could rebuild your life up. That a life worth living with people worth living for was still possible.

"Now they're in danger and it's all my fault. I put them in danger because I was too stupid to just back out when I had the chance! What kind of idiot just ignores their own limits!"

And then your voice had quieted down once more. So low that if he wasn't right next to you, Kite wouldn't have heard it.

"They probably hate me."

There were so many things he could have said in that moment. So many things he wanted to say, but he settled on the one that you probably needed to hear most. The one that was undeniably true no matter what way you looked at it.

"They don't hate you. Those kids love you more than anything. They wanted to stay, you know? To make sure you were okay."

Did they really? 

You doubted it. Not after seeing you that way. There was no way they could still view you as someone worth loving, of trusting after that.

"You're lying."

It was the only defense you had.

"Am I?"

You couldn't sense any deceit from him. Only worry that was starting to swell with something else. 

Longing.

The same feeling reflecting in your own aura the longer he held you.

"Can you look at me for a second?"

You didn't want to. You wanted to stay covered. Stay wrapped up in this feeling that had you spilling your secrets without a second thought. But you didn't resist against him slightly pulling away from you and coaxing your head up. You didn't avert your eyes when they finally met his.

"They care about you, don't ever doubt that. If they didn't, they wouldn't be picking up on your habits to accommodate you. They wouldn't look back over at you, waiting for your attention. They wouldn't have let you come if they didn't want you around them. And if you still don't believe that, then just wait until they see you. I have a hunch they'll tell you so themselves. Okay?"

And you couldn't do anything except nod. Letting yourself believe he was right. He had never been wrong before.

"And about you putting them in danger…you didn't. You protected Gon, didn't you? You reacted quickly and neutralized the threat. What happened after was an accident. You went over your limits, which was foolish, but you didn't have a choice. So for however long you decide to stay, don't use your ability anymore. Let me take care of everything from here on out. I'll protect all three of you."

Even though he said he wouldn't. That if any of you couldn't protect yourselves, you'd need to leave. But he supposed he could make an exception for you. Give you a break from everything you experienced so far. Because truthfully, he wasn't so keen on sending you back anymore. 

"I don't want to just sit back and be a burden. I already can't fight. If I can't use my ability to sense what's ahead, then what am I even good for?" You were completely useless without your nen. And now that you verbalized it, the feeling only intensified. 

You were nothing if you couldn't even do the one thing you were good at.

"You're not a burden. If anything, those boys are going to need you more than ever for what lies ahead. Your comfort, specifically. They're going to need a rock to help them get through this. They've already seen things most wouldn't have been able to stomach. Witnessed inhumane atrocities that most grown men would have crumbled at the sight of. And it's only going to get worse the closer we get to the nest. If you left now, do you think the same words coming from me would mean as much as if they came from you?"

You didn't know when you had moved your head back into his neck, but you were grateful you did. Because right now, you were crying again. You couldn't have been that important, could you? You couldn't have mattered that much to them. But it made sense, what Kite was saying. 

They were kids who shouldn't have to bear the brunt of this night by themselves. Who kept together better than you did, but were still very much affected by what they saw.

"I don't wanna hold them back…But I don't want to push them too far either." You leaned further into him. Wanting his presence to engulf you once more because it was safe. It let you succumb to the ever-growing guilt and regret bubbling under the surface without judgment. Without prying eyes. 

"You won't. You're doing just fine so far." 

And you felt your head being once again cradled. So gently, so lovingly.

Was that what this feeling was? The one that had your heart beating in overdrive. The one that made you feel so safe and protected. The one that made you tease and embarrass him.

A type of love so very special you couldn’t really put it into words.

You loved the boys, yes. But not like this. You had a family once. A clan. And you had loved them once upon a time.

So why did this feel different? Stronger. Why did it make you wanna stay by his side just for the opportunity to be held so tenderly again?

"You smell nice. It helps in a way. Being able to relax, I mean." You said after a while. Your mouth running faster than your brain, unable to catch yourself from saying things you probably shouldn't.

But instead of pushing you away, Kite had rested his head on yours. Relieved that you were finally starting to be yourself again. The tiredness from your aura was still present, but everything negative from before had quelled back down.

"I'm glad." He responded.

And truthfully, he liked your scent, too. The scent of fresh rain that was unfortunately tainted with undertones of copper now. But he had no doubt it would return to normal in time. It would be just as wonderful as it had been when you'd given him back his cloak.

"You know, I think I like you. Is that bad?"

Your sudden confession had him tensing up. He hadn’t expected your forwardness. It caught him so off guard he was sure he turned a bright red. And he had to remind himself that this was still a job, regardless of if he returned your feelings or not. You two would have time to sort it out later.

When he could take you out on a proper date.

But just this once, he would let his professionalism slip.

"No...Not at all."

“Okay.”

He was surprised when you said nothing after that. He expected you to ask him where he stood regarding his feelings towards you. And when you didn't, he didn't quite know what to make of it. 

The way you confessed, though, had clued him in a little. You didn't seem to know what to make of your own feelings. Had you never done this before? Never felt a connection to someone else? It hadn't occurred to him someone could be new to this. New to the very idea of being in love.

And maybe it did endear you all the more to him that you didn’t know how these things worked. 

But time was ticking, and Gon and Killua were probably worried sick. Wondering what was taking so long. 

"We should get going." He released his grip on you and went to get up.

But you pulled him back down into you.

"Can we stay like this a little longer. Please."

You were proving to be a distraction. And maybe that wasn't so bad after all.

"Okay. But just for a few more minutes. We can't stall forever."

"I know."

You just wanted this small comfort to last a little while longer.

—-----------------------

An impatient foot tapped on the ground, getting faster with each passing minute. The feeling of anxiety growing the longer it took.

"Maybe we should go check on them?" Gon suggested. His fidgeting stopping for just a moment.

"You were the one who insisted we wait outside. So deal with it." Killua argued back. His own hands fidgeting as he tried not to get up and go in there himself. 

"I know but they've been gone a long time. I'm just worried." The boy in green looked back at the factory entrance.

"I'm worried, too." 

Because you hadn't been yourself. The warmth that had drawn them to you disappeared. In its place something dark.

Something that Killua couldn't help but associate with his brother. The feeling that left him paralyzed and weak. Except this time, it had been strong enough to actually strangle him. 

For the first time, he didn't feel safe around you. 

But there had been signs leading up to your breakdown. Signs that both of them had ignored in favor of having you here. The most telling one, however, was the fact that you didn't seem to care after their battles. 

You didn't worry, didn't cheer them on, didn't even have a spark of pride behind those tired eyes. You'd always, always told them they had done a good job. 

And when you practically ignored him after his fight, it hurt. 

It hurt to see you turn away with that blank expression. 

It hurt because he didn't want you to be like the rest of his family. He wanted you to be you. To get all pissy when he pushed your buttons. To scold him and bonk the back of his head. To fuss over him like he was a baby and curse out whoever had hurt him or Gon.

He wasn't used to giving unconditional love, but if you came out of that factory like yourself again, then it was already decided he would forgive you. 

"Does it bother you?" He asked Gon after a few minutes.

"Does what bother me?"

"That they didn't recognize you? That their Ren was so heavy and gross?" 

And it took the boy in green a while to think of his answer. 

"I don't think so. I mean, I didn't like them seeing me but not seeing who I was. I think they thought I was someone else. But it wasn't something they could help, so no. That doesn't bother me. And as for their aura…"

If he would have just finished off the ant like Kite said, then you wouldn't have lost control in the first place. You wouldn't be panicking right now.

"It's my fault they got that way. They wouldn't have been so angry if I had just done what I was supposed to. And Master Wing said Ren is a projection of your emotions. We knew they weren't doing so well before we even started fighting. They probably pushed themselves too far trying to keep up with us."

So no, Gon wasn't bothered by either of those things. He chose not to be, so long as you walked out back to normal.

"So you're blaming yourself? You idiot. Don't you remember what Y/n said. 'No matter what happens, it's not your fault.'" Killua scolded. 

Because right now, that was the only thing he could think to say. He should've known Gon's affection for you wouldn't have swayed. To be fair, he stuck around with this ex-assassin even after learning about who he truly was.

"I don't think that applies to this situation. They jumped in to protect me. Because I wasn't thorough enough." Gon argued.

You weren't a fighter, but you went against that for him. You'd been exposed to your phobia full force to protect him.

"Because they love you, you idiot!"

And the words temporarily shocked him. Hearing them said out in the open. You did love them, didn't you? 

You did.

And the thought had him beaming. Temporarily distracting him from his previous feeling of guilt.

"Hey! What's got you all smiley all of a sudden!?!"

"Y/n loves us." 

Killua had quickly turned his face away, embarrassment bubbling up.

"Dummy. Gahh! What's taking them so long!?!" He tried to change the subject, hoping Gon would take the bait.

"I don't know. They have been gone for about thirty minutes. Why are you worrying? Does something about it bother you?" The boy in green taking on a teasing tone, catching on to what Killua was trying to do.

"Of course it does! I don't want lover boy putting his hands on our big sibling! Are you not bothered by it!?!" The small assassin crossed his arms and huffed.

"Not really. I'll admit it's a little weird because Kite was my dad's student. And Y/n is our big sibling. It's like two different worlds colliding, but I trust him. He's super tough too, so Y/n's in good hands." Gon assured.

"Well I haven't seen enough! He needs both of our approvals or else the answer is no." 

He really was being stubborn about this, wasn't he? And it was very amusing to the boy in green.

"What'll you do if they end up together anyway? You can't be upset with him forever. You know what that means right? It means he's officially one of us. Like Leorio and Kurapika. Zushi and Master Wing, too."

But Killua was still not having it. 

"You don't get it. You've never had siblings before. You don't know what it's like to finally have somebody who doesn't want to use you. Who doesn't push you to be something you don't want to." All at once the conversation had shifted into something a little more somber.

"...You're right, I've never had a brother or a sister. But that doesn't mean I love Y/n any less than you do. You know, the one thing I've learned trying to find Ging is that you meet all sorts of people. You make all sorts of friends no matter where you go. And you keep moving forward because no matter what, you'll always see them again."

This time Gon met Killua's eyes with a resolve just as strong as yours.

"You're worried about them not wanting to come with us anymore, right? Well if they do decide to stay with Kite after this, then that's fine. We'll always get to see them again. It's a promise. I don't know why you get so upset when it's clear as day they love us no matter what."

It was like magic the way he could convince Killua of almost anything when he sounded that confident. The way he could get him to believe in everything that came out of his mouth.

"How are you always so sure about these things? I just-I just don't want to let go yet. I know Kite's a good guy. I know he's important to you because he was important to Ging. And I know that he makes Y/n so happy when they talk to him. I know but…It's hard."

"Of course it's hard. It's not easy to let go of someone you care about. But think of it this way- we get another big sibling if things work out." Gon had made it over to where Killua sat, giving him a light nudge to the shoulder.

A small smile made its way to the mini assassin's face.

"Yeah, I guess you're right…But if he breaks their heart, we're gonna give him hell for it, right?"

"Duh. Nobody's allowed to make Y/n upset. It could be Isaac Netero himself and I still wouldn't take it."

---------------

Fun Fact #12: Y/n smells like rain, even though they absolutely despise the murky weather. 

MASTERLIST

Tags: @fandomhoe101 @justxiao @bekahtaylorgriggs

If you'd like to be tagged all you need to do is ask 🥰

---------------------------------

An: A doozy of a chapter with 18k words!!! Y'all are being spoiled, but honestly this chapter could have been longer if my mobile tumblr hadn't kept dying after i reached around 12k words. Legit kicking me out and not letting me edit, so i had to finish in google docs and copy and paste from my laptop.

Unfortunately, there was a cut kiss scene. It just didn't fit right, if that makes sense? I just don't think Kite would've kissed reader after crying. He's a gentleman and I refuse to believe otherwise. 😤😤😤

That's all, uploading is gonna be inconsistent as always, but I'm back baby 🤌🤌🤌

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hii sex witch

im 19 afab and ive never had sex before, i masturbate sometimes but ive never had an orgasm and dont know how to "get it"?.. im generally scared of sex and identified as asexual for a long time but i dont think thats really my deal, im just scared of it. im scared of it being awkward, of my partner not finding me atractive or worse. i dont like how i look naked, and dont imagine anyone ever could. i think my vagina and my boobs look ugly and alien, i preach body positivity and being natural i think all bodies are good no matter how they look but when im faced with the reality of my own body im repulsed by these parts of it. i think something may be broken inside me because i just cant Be Normal about sex, the thought of me having it always makes me stressed and uncomfortable. i want a relationship and i love meeting new people and flirting etc. but when the person i talk to makes any sexual joke or innuendo i get super tense and scared and realise that if things get further they would probably want me to do it... and maybe i could and maybe i even want to but the thought makes me sick with the pressure. this isnt even a question, so i dont know how you could even respond but i dont have anyone i could openly talk about this in my life without feeling super weird or them just brushing it off as "you'll grow up to it" or something, and i just had to say it to someone or else i will eventually explode. hope this all makes sense ❤️‍🩹

hey anon,

come in, get cozy, grab a glass of lemonade, etc. we're gonna be here a minute.

so listen: I swear to GOD this isn't me trying to pull the "you'll grow into it" thing. I am going somewhere different with this I swear. bear with me.

first and foremost, I think the main problem you're experiencing right now is that being 19. I don't mean that in a condescending or belittling way, or to imply that you just don't want to have sex because you're 19. I'm saying that being 19 (and 18, and 20, and 21, and so on) is mostly for being worried about everything and having no idea what's going on. you have to get all that insane anxiety out of your system as early as possible in your adult years so that you can get down to business actually developing a perspective and figuring out what you want to do. I'm not even, like, a LOT older than you but trust me, by the time you're 26 you're going to feel SOOOOO different about things that you don't even realize you have an opinion about right now. when I was 19 I was made pretty much exclusively of anxiety and the cheapest bagels at the grocery store. (eating badly was not helping my anxiety.)

what I'm getting at here is that you're at like a very exciting and terrible formative age when it's the most normal thing in the world to feel like there's something uniquely awful and hideous and unlovable about yourself. when I was 19 the two most important things in the world to me were losing my virginity (lmao) and making sure I never experienced actual emotional intimacy ever because I was sure that if anyone got close enough to really know me they would realize that I was the worst person who ever lived and fundamentally undeserving of human connection. TERRIBLE place to be in; I had a lot of deeply bad and uncomfortable sex because of it.

there's a really easy solution to being terrified of sex, which I wish someone had told me when I was very scared of sex, and it's if having sex sounds like a horrific ordeal you can actually just Not Have Sex. just don't do it. it's actually REALLY easy to not have sex; millions of people do it every single day.

if you like meeting people and flirting, that's awesome! you should do that, having connections and relationships with other people is important. if you don't like sexual jokes and innuendos you can just tell people they make you uncomfortable and ask them not to do that; how they respond is actually a GREAT litmus test for whether or not those are people you should keep hanging out with. if someone isn't able to not make sexual comments about you after you've asked them not to, kick 'em to the curb!

there are tons of people in all kinds of romantic relationships who aren't having sex. that's a perfectly fine and reasonable boundary to set. it can make things a little more complicated, sure, but dating and romance and love are all complicated and messy anyway. again, great way to VERY EFFICIENTLY weed out who is and isn't a suitable potential partner. (it's also fine to not want a partner, either; there's nothing wrong with being a sociable extrovert who doesn't want to have sex.)

there's nothing broken about you for being nervous about the idea of having sex. whether you identify as asexual or not, it's perfectly fine to feel that way. it's completely fine if you change your mind tomorrow or if you feel this way for the rest of your life. and you might! maybe sex will never sound awesome for you, and that's fine! again, tons of people living very good and happy lives every day without having sex! sex isn't a measure of maturity, but knowing yourself well enough to honor your own boundaries and desires is.

I hope a kinder attitude towards your own body can come with time, and I think it will. be gentle with yourself, alright? being 19 is very silly but unfortunately very necessary, and I think you'll really like what comes after if you let yourself relax a little. whatever you feel like right now, you're actually a very normal person, by which I of course mean you have a rich and brilliant mind and will do many quietly wonderful things in your life and will be deserving of every bit of love and joy that comes your way.

also, hey - have you ever seen a therapist about anxiety? I also should have done that when I was 19.

[smutlord-supreme]

I just saw the cod: reaction to stalker post and I just have to say HOW I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND IT’S SO COMFORTING BECAUSE SAME. 💕😔✊ I don’t know if requests are open, but if it isn’t I just want to say I loved your post. However, if it is I would be really interested in a full length piece. Any characters are good for me because the way you’ve written them is really comforting. 💖

Thank you so much! I'm always looking for excuses to write so of course requests are open! Please excuse the fact that this was typed up at 9pm on a work night so it may not be perfect. (Plus autocorrect is on and we're like mortal enemies). I also chose Gaz because honestly I haven't seen any X Reader fics of Gaz and I find that super sad.

Without further ado.

The Watcher

Gaz x Reader

2.4k words

Warnings: Stalking, implied dating, very (and I mean very) little implied sexual relationship

You get some concerning texts and tell your boyfreund Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick about them.

You were always the cool headed one. Unlike Gaz who tended to be impulsive. So when you sat him down one day for a talk he assumed one of two things, you were breaking up with him, or you were dying.

You sat him down on your sectional, body facing him, but eyes on the ground. His heart was breaking at a thousand beats per minute, mind searching every little thing that had happened over the last few months. The moments you took to compose yourself causing the blood to rush in his ears.

"I have something to show you." You broke the silence, pulling out your phone and opening it to a text conversation. Scrolling all the way to the top you hand him the phone in silence. Allowing him to read.

After those first few messages the texted is silent until an hour ago. Where they send a photo of the outside of your apartment.

When Gaz is done reading he jumps off the couch and runs to the nearest window, peering down at the street corner that the photo was taken from.

"I already looked no one was there." You sounded dejected and exhausted. Almost resigned to the fact someone was peering in your windows at 11am.

"WTF baby, why didn't you tell me when you woke up?" It was a good question, every morning when you woke uo you would make time to read and respond to messages. And that was hours ago.

"I thought it was a prank at first. I used to get messages like this all the time before I met you. I figured it was one of my freinds with new number trying to freak me out." You shrugged your shoulders, letting them hang low. You propped your elbows on your knew and layed your forehead in you Palms. Cradling your skull like it suddenly weighed a hundred pounds.

Gaz sat back down on the couch, throwing one arm around you. Grabbing onto your should opposite to him and rubbing it lightly with his thumb. "Hey, hey, it's ok. I don't think I'd know what to think at first either. I'm not trying to blame you." He scratched his stubble with his free hand, thinking. "Is there any chance it's still one of your freinds?"

You shook your head, still cradled in your hands. " I texted everyone, no one fessed up and none if my freinds would go this far for a practical joke."

He made a hmm noise before standing back up. He grabbed your arm and hauled you off the couch. "Come on let's get you in the shower, I think you need a reset."

Dispite being positive and chipper as normal, anger radiated off of Gaz. He was smiling but his eyes were dark and full of hate. You weren't afraid of him, but you also had a feeling that he didn't want you to say no. And anyways, Gaz normally knew what was best for you.

You trailed after him to your shared bathroom, sitting down on the toilet while he got the water to the perfect temperature. "Get in, I'll throw a towel in the dryer for when you get out." You couldn't lie the steam radiating off of the shower was tempting so you stripped and stepped in while he closed the door and left you to your devices.

Most days Gaz would be begging to join you, but today there was none of that. Adding to your feeling of unease. As you washed your hair you heard the dryer start on the other side of the house. Not long after Gaz was on the phone with someone, speaking softly so you couldn't understand him. Although, in the small flat it was impossible to hide the fact that he was talking.

Soon you stepped out, turning the water off, still standing in the shower for a moment while Gaz said his goodbyes. Puttering across the Flat and grabbing the towel before opening the bathroom door. He wrapped you up, hugging you tightly as he did. "It's all going to be ok. Let sit down and watch something for a bit. I hear a new episode came out of your favorite show."

He hated that show. You and Gaz may share many traits, but taste in TV as not one of those. Still he made time to watch every episode with you, even recording them on DVR. He always said DVR was the best way to watch things, he hated streaming services.

You dried off and he gave you a pair of his sweats and a plain white t-shirt before embracing you and falling onto the couch. You laid there for most of the episode. Almost falling asleep with his warmth beside you.

------

You were jolted by a knock at the door. Gaz ran to the door while you huddled at the end of the couch, worried it was your stalker. He swung the door open. Embracing the man on the other side of the door like an old brother. "Brody!" He clapped the man on his back. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Have you lost weight?"

Gaz was always like this around his freinds, all charisma. (Although around people he was interested in romantically? That's something different all together. It was still a miracle he ever managed to pull you. Maybe you just like the awkward charm and bad jokes). The man stepped into your home, grinning from ear to ear and reciprocating Gaz's enthusiasm. He was wearing a policemen's uniform with the hat tucked under his elbow.

"Good to see you old freind. I've got to say I was not expecting a call like this. You always seem to take care of shit on your own, whether we like you to or not."

The police were still bitter that Gaz had left to join the 141. Alot of his freinds were on the force, and it had taken a while for them to be on speaking terms again. It warmed your heart to see that they still answered his call.

... his call. He had called the cops. Without telling you.

You couldn't lie you were a little peeved. But you never would have called yourself. You didn't like the idea of sitting and waiting for some stranger to come to your home, making you relive your worst memories.

The officer walked over to you extending a hand to your huddled position. "Brody Sangster at your service." You took it, shaking it firmly, suddenly hyper aware of your dripping hair and casual clothing.

"Nice to meet you Officer Sangster. Please have a seat." You un-hunched yourself, sitting upright on the far end of the couch, extending a hand to signal him to sit on the other end. Gaz plopped himself in a armchair to your left, holding your hand that dangled over the edge.

"I've heard you've had quite a scare. Care to tell me about it?" He pulled out a small notepad and pen from his breast pocket.

You glanced at Gaz who nodded. "I know it's scary and I know it's sudden but you wouldn't have called on your own."

You sigh and nod. "I know, it's probably for the best. Better to get this out now before it gets worse." You told Brody about the texts and the photo from the unkown number. He nodded as you spoke, asking to see the messages, which you eagerly showed him.

"Thank you for the information, I just have a few more questions if you're willing?" You nod. "Thank you, now have there been any other weird occurrences over the last few days? Cars following you, unknown calls that hang up shortly after, people asking after you to your freinds or coworkers?"

You shake your head, "not that I know of."

He writes "thank you again, one last question. Have you ever had something like this happen before?"

Your eyes go wide and you glance at Gaz before looking back at the officer. You nod slowly.

Gaz sits foreward, "how come you've never told me this?" He looks more concerned than upset.

"I was still in high school then, it never really came up. Plus last I heard he was in prison." A small shake comes to your voice as you remember him.

You had transferred halfway through the year with no freinds to speak of. Everyone at the small town school had formed clicks already without you, so you were left eating lunch alone most days.

You had first noticed him staring at you about a month into the semester. He never seemed to blink when you saw him out of your perefreal, but when you turned your head he suddenly had something more interesting.

You tried to talk to him few times, which turned out to be a massive mistake. He took this olive branch as an entire tree and began to follow you everywhere. Walking you to classes, eating lunch together, studying together, even going as far as to follow you home on multiple occasions.

Honestly you were just happy to have a freind, so you ignored all the red flags. Your next year of high school was better, you made new freinds, excelled in classes and even joined after school clubs. You still hung out with the boy of course, but you had other things to do now too.

He hated that.

Soon you found threatening notes in your book bag and your home vandalized on multiple occasions. It took months to catch him in the act, but afterwards he was quickly kicked from school.

That didn't stop him though. The threats continued and intensified up until you graduated and moved away. He seemed to be in love with you. Taking every chance he had to profess it. It all culminated in his arrest your senior year, when he had attacked your ex boyfreind in a park. Slicing the side of his face open. You had never been so terrified in your life.

"Babe?" Gaz's voice came to you over your own thoughts. "I think the officer has enough, why don't you go lay down?"

You were exhausted and just nodded, dragging yourself off the couch and to the bedroom.

You heard Gaz say a few goodbyes and the door closing and locking (louder than was normal, almost like he was putting on a show). You heard him fiddling with all of the windows for a couple of minutes before he joined you in your bedroom.

He sat on the edge of the bed with a squeak. "Hey babe, I'm sorry about that, I know that was hard. Hopefully they'll catch the guy soon and you won't have to think about him ever again." He began rubbing between your shoulders in slow rhythmic movements.

You rolled over and grabbed his hand kissing his knuckles. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little peeved, but your heart was in the right place. I don't think I would have had the strength to do that myself." You raised the covers inviting him in. He gladly obliged, holding you to his chest as you both settled off to sleep.

------

The next few days were largely uneventful. No new texts or photos, although a box of xhoxolates did show up at the front desk for you, but Gaz had given them the rundown (he had been driving you to work and back everyday) and they had been thrown away immediately.

It was the fifth day when you finally got a call from Brody.

"Hey, I've got some updates for you. Do you have a place to sit?"

You were at home in the kitchen making some tea when he called. You ran into the the living room, putting the phone on speaker. You plopped yourself next to Gaz and slapped him arm a few time so he would pat attention.

"Im sitting now. What do you have to tell me?"

"We caught the guy about 30 minutes ago..." He took a pause looking for words. "Umm... idk how else to say this but he was living in the unit below you. He got out of prison sometime last month and dropped off the radar. Got fake papers and everything."

Your blood ran cold. He was so close this whole time. Gaz took the phone from your hand as you processed what Brody had said. The blood rushing in your ears.

"Thank you officer can you do me one more favor... as a freind?"

Less than a half hour later you were standing in front of a line up of 5 men. Something completely unnecessary as the culprit had fressed up the moment he had been caught.

You and Gaz scanned their faces. #4 was your man.

"Damn he's ugly." Gaz said. A grin on his face. "How the fuck he ever thought he'd pull you is beyond me." You smile tightly still confused by this whole interaction. Gaz continues.  "He looks like a Muppet bred with a kangaroo." You let off a little laugh at this strangely apt quip.

"He does doesn't he."

"Yeah, and look at how he's dressed. Khaki cargo shorts? In this cold? What a douche. I bet he thinks those sunglasses make him real hot too." You laughed louder at this.

"What are we doing here Gaz?" You asked him, the light returning to your eyes after the stress of the last few days.

"Oh I just wanted to know what you were missing out on. And I'm gonna tell you it's not much. Unless your into that crazed history professor on vacation look... you know the ear hair is growing on me I think." He pokes your side making you laugh before turning to the officer at the door. "I think we're done here, thank you."

The woman nods before opening the door. Gaz grabs your hand as you leave.

"See they got him, we don't have to worry. He even violated parole, he's not coming out for a long time." You smile at him.

"Thank you Gaz, I actually feel alot better now."

"I love you so much." He stops and presses his forehead to yours.

"I love you too," you whisper in return.

He straightens back up and smiles at you. "Idk about you but I'm starving, what do you think about Indian?"

"That sounds wonderful."

Post: Gaz pays for you both to break the lease on your shared apartment. You don't mention that it makes you uncomfortable, but he just seems to know it weird you out that he was living below you. He buys a small townhouse, no bigger than your old home, but without any upstairs or downstairs neighbors.

[legolasghosty]

also from your additions because they're fun: to protect an actual partner who doesn't want the attention for pairing of your choice! :D

Heheh yes of course! Thanks for the ask!!!!

"Alex, over here!"

"Luke, is it true your next single is due soon?"

"Julie, who are you wearing tonight?"

"Reggie, Alex, is it true you two are dating?"

Reggie blinks, still unused to all the flashing lights of the cameras on red carpets. But that last question at least needed to be answered, for all of their sakes.

"Yep," he says, grabbing Alex's hand and relaxing when his best friend squeezes his. "Two years last month."

"Why all the secrecy?" another reporter asks, pointing a mic at them.

"We weren't really in the market for attention," Alex answers, the lie flowing smoothly to anyone who didn't know him. "And potential backlash over us being in a queer relationship is always a concern."

Reggie lets go of Alex's hand to wrap his arm around his waist instead. Nothing he hasn't done a million times, it's just usually not like this. It feels easy though, because it's Alex. They're best friends and they both know what's going on, even if the public doesn't.

"Plus, I wanted to keep him to myself," he says, leaning over to peck Alex on the cheek.

"Shut up," Alex protests playfully.

"So why come out now?" someone else demands.

Geez, Reggie thinks, why do so many people seem to think their entitled to knowledge of their personal lives just because the band is famous?

"Eh we figured it was time," he offers, just like they planned. "Lots of people already knew, so it's not a big deal."

"Guys, band picture!" Julie calls from a few steps further down the carpet.

Reggie hides his sigh of relief with a wide grin and a wink for the cameras before he and Alex join her and Luke for more photos. Sure, being more openly affectionate with Alex is fun, but it's still lying to call him his boyfriend. He sends a mental sorry to his partner back at their apartment. It's not necessary of course, both his and Alex's partners are on board with this. But still.

Once they make it inside the movie theater, Luke manages to get them all away from the crowd and into a large, family restroom.

"Everyone okay?" Julie checks as soon as the door is locked behind them.

Reggie lets himself relax against Luke's side. Thank goodness for his qpps. "Yeah, I think so," he says. "I feel like I should send a million sorry texts though."

"Agreed," Alex responds, sitting down on the floor and tapping out a steady rhythm on the tiled floor. "I know it was Willie's idea and everything, but it still feels weird."

Luke shrugs. "Makes sense to me. Pretty sure it'd kill me to have to lie about my relationships in front of that many people. You guys are brave."

"Well it keeps him safe," Reggie says instinctively. "This is sort of the best we got for everybody at the moment."

"You guys are going to have so much fun defacing the gossip magazines tomorrow," Julie adds, grinning.

"I think they were talking about going on a shopping spree for glitter pens while we're here," Alex agrees.

Reggie laughs. That sure sounds like their partners. "Well I guess we better get some good stuff out to make fun of then," he decides, standing up and straightening his suit jacket.

"And, you know, hear our song in a movie," Alex snarks, taking the hand Julie offers him to stand up.

Luke cheers. "Let's go!"

Reggie grabs Alex's hand and they all sneak back out into the lobby. The crowd surrounds them and Reggie definitely spots a few phone cameras pointed at them. But hey, this is the goal, right? Keep everyone from asking questions about their love lives and protect their real significant others from all the publicity garbage. So they might as well have some fun with it.

"We should do that whole crossing arms and drinking champagne thing later," he whispers to Alex as they find their seats in the movie theater.

"You'd better not spill any one me then," Alex teases. "I kinda like this jacket."

"Awww, but it would look so much better on Willie's floor," Reggie retorts.

"Wow, that is truly an awful line," Alex groans, laughing. "And I actually hang up my suit jackets, unlike someone I know."

"Sue me for having other priorities when I get home." Reggie wiggles his eyebrows just as the flash of a camera goes off right behind them.

Alex rolls his eyes at the brightness, but then the director comes onstage to introduce the film and the theater erupts into cheers. Movie time!

-- --- -- --- -- ---

"Wow, have you read this one yet?"

Reggie looks up from where he's been drawing little mustaches on him and Alex in People. His partner is holding up another gossip magazine, folded open to an article apparently about their 'relationship'. Reggie has to admit he's a bit distracted by the way his boyfriend's dark hair falls around his face and the fact that he isn't wearing a shirt at the moment.

"Earth to Reggie?" Bobby says with a smirk, waving the papers at him. "You have got to read this one, it's a compilation of your guys' cutest moments."

"Oh no," Reggie laughs, wriggling across their bed to take it. "Ten bucks says they put that Instagram post from last summer in the top 3."

"I mean, it was a pretty cute picture," Bobby agrees, snagging some more glossy pages from the stack Willie left outside their room this morning. "Hard to top last night though."

"We are pretty cute," Reggie says, nodding in an attempt to look serious. "Not as cute as you though."

"Awww, you flatter me," Bobby responds, clapping a hand to his chest. He flops down onto his back and flips through the pages to find the next article about 'Ralex', as they have been dubbed.

"Hey, it's kinda hard to top a solid 10," Reggie continues, setting his magazine aside to roll on top of his partner. "Like come on, Alex and I are cute, but have you looked in a mirror lately?"

"Flirt," Bobby retorts, one hand finding the back of Reggie's neck to pull him down into a kiss.

Reggie grins into it, sliding his hands into Bobby's hair as he nips at his bottom lip. Fake dating Alex is great, but he'll take real dating Bobby over that any day. And if doing them together keeps everyone safe, then so be it. The gossip magazines are pretty entertaining at least.

[ackermanbitch]

Teenage Dirtbag (Peter Parker x Fem!Reader) Part 3

a/n: honestly this series prob wont even get a lot of attention but im very much enjoying writing it. also if you havent noticed reader isnt.....the brightest. like ofc shes smart in some senses, just not all of em. also we're pretending that civil war didnt escalate as fast as it did so my comedic filler makes sense :D

Part One

Part Two

pairing: peter parker x fem!stark!reader

warnings: cussing

word count: 2.6k

It was Sunday, she met up with Peter on Saturday and her dad was tired of asking himself, so instead he was sending in every Avenger to question his daughter.

First was Wanda. He knew her and (Y/N) were pretty close so she was a good first choice.

"Hey (Y/N), what's uppp? You were out the other day, right?" Wanda started, sitting on the edge of the teen's bed, watching her write something down at her desk.

"Yup." (Y/N) responded, not turning around to look at the redhead.

"Ohh, cool cool. What'd you do?" She tried to keep the tone light, but it was obvious she wasn't just chatting. Right now, (Y/N) couldn't really tell but Wanda's words sounded so forced.

"Homework." She swiveled her chair around to face Wanda, smiling slightly.

"You... Went out to do... Homework?"

"Yup, just homework. Math."

"..."

"Got quite a bit done actually, it was nice."

"Quite a bit, huh?" So, if she got a lot of work done, it meant there wasn't anything else she could've been doing. That was a relief.

"Yeahhh.. I actually have some more to do so if you don't mind..." (Y/N) mumbled, turning back to her desk where she most definitely wasn't doing any important work. Just doodling on the edge of her history assignment.

Well, that was a failure, next up: Steve, who's only doing this because he's also worried about the young Stark hanging out with boys, not because Tony asked him to.

(Y/N) always spilled her secrets to Steve, he was just easy to talk to like that. She still gripped her pencil a little tighter when she heard her door open behind her, contemplating putting on headphones and blasting them as loud as she could.

"Hey kid, what's up? What's going on in your world, do anything fun recently?" He asked as normally as he could, walking over to her desk.

"Nothing fun, no."

He nodded, leaning against the white wood, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, did you do anything boring then?"

"It required all my brainpower, so no, I wouldn't say boring either just... Tiring." (Y/N) caught onto the whole scheme right before Wanda left her room, so of course she was going to mess with them by making her responses as vague as possible.

"Tiring?"

"Yup."

"Well, why was it tiring?"

"Like I just said, brainpower. And I don't have a ton of that so yeah, exhausting actually."

Steve raised an eyebrow, "Wanda said you were doing homework."

"Why is Wanda telling you what we talk about? That's kinda weird Cap." (Y/N) retorted, still not looking up from her paper.

"Ah it just uh, slipped into conversation. Tony said you were with someone?" He pried further, being utterly terrible at trying to stay subtle.

(Y/N) nodded, "Yeah, a friend."

"Where'd you meet hi- ahem, this friend?"

"School."

"Makes sense, makes sense..." Steve mumbled, looking down. "What's their name, have you been friends for a while?" He asked nonchalantly, looking back up at her.

"Nope, just started hanging out. Once. Yesterday."

'That's something at least.' He thought to himself, starting to tap his foot. Her avoidance of the first question didn't go unnoticed by him though.

"You plan to hang out more?" Geez, he was determined, was Tony paying him or something?

"Yeah actually I-" FUCK! Steve's easy-to-talk to-ness was getting to her.

He grinned, pushing off the desk and walking towards her door, "Make sure you finish that homework kid." (Y/N) grumbled something in response, rolling her eyes.

'I'm fucked, dad's gonna try and put me on lock down now.' She thought, thinking all the interrogating was over after her slip up. But oh no, Tony wanted a full name and who better to get information than an actual spy?

Natasha didn't waste any time, spinning (Y/N)'s chair around to face her as soon as she walked in. "What's his name?"

"Honestly, I can't remember, it was a whole day ago Na-"

"What's his name, (Y/N)? Tony will just continue bothering you with all his antics until you tell him or one of us, so tell me." Natasha cut her off, gripping the arms of the chair so (Y/N) had no escape.

(Y/N) sighed loudly, "Why does he care so much? I'm sure he has more important things to worry about, you know, 'cause he's Iron Man and all? Like that meeting no one will tell me about, but I definitely deserve to know about."

"Because you're his child, (Y/N). Your safety is more important than the world's safety in his opinion. He might not tell you enough, if at all, but he will always put you above his work, even if that work is saving the damn world." Natasha let go of the chair, squatting to (Y/N)'s level, "And no, you don't need to know about the meeting, so don't bother asking anyone else about it, kid."

(Y/N) stayed silent, grinding her teeth as she thought. Terrible habit that she most definitely got from her dad. "Peter isn't a threat, Nat. He's just a sweet guy trying to help me pass." She took a deep breath before continuing, "I'll tell you his last name for fucks sake, if you make sure my dad doesn't try to lock me up in response. I'm seeing him next weekend for more tutoring, and he really helps, I swear."

Natasha nodded, "I know he's not a threat because I know you-" She lightly jabbed her finger into (Y/N)'s chest, "are smart. Smart enough to know who has bad intentions and who doesn't. Of course you wouldn't willingly go to a guy's apartment by yourself if you didn't think he was harmless."

"How did you know I went to his apar-"

"Name, (Y/N)."

"Parker. His name is Peter Parker."

-----

"Parker? I knew it!" Tony exclaimed, sighing in relief.

"Wa- wait! You knew who it was and still made us interrogate her?!" Wanda questioned, throwing her arms up in the air. Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes and Natasha just leaned back with a sigh.

"I'm just glad I didn't have to go in there, she scares me." Sam mumbled, taking a sip of his drink.

"I had to make sure, there's plenty of Peter's at Midtown and I didn't think the kid would ever have the balls to dare hang out with (Y/N) Stark of all people." Tony explained, "He's just a nerd, I'm sure she's paying him quite a bit to have him do her homework."

Wanda raised an eyebrow, "He didn't do it for her, Tony. He helped her, she told me."

"With math? I don't know, I couldn't even tutor her." He shook his head, crossing his arms.

"Maybe she needed someone her age to help her, a friend." Wanda retorted before standing up and leaving the room with more sass than necessary.

Tony just huffed, "He definitely did it for her."

-----

The Sokovia Accords. Tony wanted to sign them, Steve didn't. What were the Accords even for and why wouldn't Steve sign them?

(Y/N) hid around the corner that morning, eavesdropping on the Avengers. She didn't stay long enough to get all the information so she wouldn't be late for school, but she still tried to piece things together as she rode in the backseat of the black car Happy was driving.

Accords, accords, accords... Must be some treaty. Obviously has to do with Sokovia, which means Ultron, which means the Avengers. Are they going to sign a peace treaty with Sokovia? Why would Steve be against that, he's all for peace, freedom, all that... And why would they need to sign something like that, they saved Sokovia?

(Y/N) groaned, dropping her head against her headrest, closing her eyes.

"Something wrong?" Happy asked suddenly, making (Y/N) open her eyes.

"I just have a test today." She lied, seeing the dreaded school come into view. Happy parked down the street, as always. It wasn't Happy himself she was embarrassed of or anything, it was the fact she had a chauffeur and was still going to Midtown High out of any school. People already talked about her being a spoiled brat in the halls, pulling up in a fancy black car every day didn't help.

She hopped out of the car, swinging her backpack over her shoulder and thanking Happy for driving her, as if he didn't drive her almost everywhere.

After getting a notebook and pencil bag out of his locker for first period, Peter slammed the door shut. "Hey Parker, I wa-"

"Jesus Christ!" He stumbled to the side, not having noticed (Y/N) standing behind his locker door with her arms crossed. "Do you know what the Sokovia Accords are?" She asked nonchalantly. Who else would she ask? He's a nerd, he must know all about stuff like this.

"I- the what? No, I don't think I've heard of that." He shook his head slightly, looking around for Ned to save him before Flash saw him and (Y/N) talking. Flash asked her out at every turn, always being denied quite violently and if he saw who he thought was the lamest loser on earth talking to her, he'd probably do more than call him names.

"Okay well, what do you think it is?" She continued, leaning forward slightly. She still had her backpack on, apparently going straight to Peter's locker. How did she even know where his locker was-

The brunette stuttered, "I mean- I- Could we maybe talk after class? L- lunch maybe?" He asked, still looking around to make sure Flash wasn't in the vicinity.

"Okay, lunch, I'm holding you to that Parker, this is important." She nodded, turning away to run to her first class. "Also," She began again, looking back at Peter, "don't tell anyone what I asked you, or else." She added, finally leaving the confused boy to his own.

-----

It felt like a million years before lunch rolled around, (Y/N) currently stood surveying the cafeteria for her resident nerd. She usually sat in her homeroom while she ate to avoid Flash and his goons, so the lunchroom was pretty foreign to her.

She still made it to the table easily, dropping onto the bench next to Peter, making him jump and squeeze the apple in his hand so hard it broke.

"Jeez, do you work out?" She mumbled, "Never seen someone break a fucking apple in half."

Peter laughed awkwardly, quickly wiping his hands off with a napkin while Ned also stared at him wide eyed.

"Anyway, this is Ned, right?" (Y/N) asked, setting her chin in her hand. Ned nodded, "You know my name?" He asked, eyes still wide. "Uhm yeah, why wouldn't I? We're in like three classes together Ned." She laughed.

He laughed a bit too, "We've never talked much, but Peter told me all about your study da-"

"Ned!" Peter interrupted, kicking his friend's shin under the table. Ned gasped, looking at the brunette in mock offense. "Dude, what, you wouldn't stop ta-" Another kick, and another.

Peter cleared his throat, turning to (Y/N), "So uh, Sokovia Accords?"

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow at Ned before looking back at Peter, "Yeah, ever head of em'? No reason, just- curious."

He hummed, "No, I haven't. Sounds like a pea-"

"Hey (Y/N), I have some questions myself actually." Ned interrupted, kicking Peter's shin. Peter gaped at him, about to kick him back before (Y/N) responded, "Sure, what's up?"

"What's Captain America like? How tall is he? Have you held his shield? How much does it weigh? Y'know, heavy, light, weightless? What's Hulk like? How tall is he? Why is he green?" Ned rambled, ignoring Peter's glares.

"She's not your Wikipedia, dude-"

"Hmm, Cap is nice, he's like six foot something. No, I haven't held it, I'm not allowed to touch stuff like that," She rolled her eyes before continuing, "But he carries it like it weighs nothing, but he is really strong so maybe it's really heavy but why would you use something heavy as a weapon if you have to use it often so it's probably not very heavy. Hulk is well, Hulk, he's at least 8 feet tall and I have no idea." (Y/N) rambled, talking with her hands at certain points.

Ned nodded slowly before giving Peter the cheekiest smile he could.

"So, Accords. You think it's a peace treaty too? That's what I thought but it doesn't make sense. There's nothing between America and Sokovia.." She mumbled the last part, looking at Peter expectantly.

"Where'd you hear about this? Sounds pretty serious." Peter asked, wondering why the hell this girl who just started talking to him is spilling government secrets.

"I live with the Avengers Parker, I hear eve- Can he be trusted? Can you be trusted?" (Y/N) suddenly asked, remembering that this is extremely confidential and that she's not even supposed to know about it.

Peter nodded quickly, "Yea- Yeah, Ned won't tell anyone, and neither will I, not like we have anyone to talk to."

"That's what I said!" (Y/N) exclaimed, dropping her fist on the table suddenly. Peter raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue. "You know, we should hang out more often. You guys are chill- actually, wanna come over? We could talk more about this and like study or something." She grinned, looking between the two boys expectantly.

"I- wait- you're inviting us to your- place? Like Stark Tower?!" Ned gasped, Peter kicking him again and (Y/N) waving her hands quickly, "Don't- yell that!" She whisper yelled, looking around to make sure no one heard. "Why wouldn't you want people to know you live with the Avengers?" Ned whispered back, "It's the coolest thing ever!"

"Not everyone thinks it's cool, why do you think no one talks to me Ned?" She asked, still checking for any eavesdroppers. "So, you up for it? It's fine if y-"

"Yes."

"Yes!"

They answered in sync, Peter bouncing his knee nervously.

"You're hanging out with those losers, Stark?"

"MJ! I didn't notice you there, what's up?" (Y/N) smiled at the quiet girl who was at the other end of the table with a book in her hand. They knew each other from detention, (Y/N) ending up there with too many late passes and MJ was there because... The young Stark had no idea, but she was always there.

"Nothing, just watching this rare encounter of the nerds and 'Richie Rich'."

(Y/N) just smiled politely before looking back at the boys. "Just walk around the corner after school, I'll pick you up. Now I gotta go before Flash hunts you guys down, see ya!" She grinned, standing from the table and leaving the cafeteria with not another word.

"Dude, she's awesome! Pinch me, man, pinch me!" Ned exclaimed, trying to get Peter's attention, who was still staring out the door to the lunchroom.

"I know, right?" He mumbled, his chin resting in his hand.

a/n: yall can tell reader has like never had real friends right? just casually walking up to peter and talking to him like theyve know each other for years💀social cues are nowhere to be found

[archivalofsins]

hey, I'm here for ask game~ if it's okay: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 for Yuno; 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 for Amane and 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 for Mikoto

Heya; thanks for asking! I'm really grateful you did.

milgram character ask game ! send the character + the questions

Kashiki, Yuno/ Yuno Kashiki

1. favorite song lyrics? 2. favorite mv moment/frame? 3. favorite non-mv official illustration? 4. favorite minigram episode/moment? 5. favorite voice drama line/moment?

I answered one and two for Yuno in this ask. I'll put it in here too though.

Favorite song lyric from each mv and cover song in order-

Umbilical

"Why are you here? You annoy me a little."

The tone used here along with the visuals paint a really nice picture. Also, Yuno just sounds so pouty when annoyed.

"Is it a day off tomorrow? But anyway, let’s be together till the morning."

I really like how she goes from,

"Wait do I have time off tomorrow to well that doesn't matter for now we're together and we'll stay together until morning."

It really shows off that understated feeling of infatuation throughout the song.

"Am I a bad girl? Please don’t answer."

I like this line because it's not only addressing the audience but the people she knew before Milgram. Illustrating that she doesn't want someone to view her as bad for the things she chose to do. Yet also highlighting how she doesn't want an answer from the audience or this other person at all. She just wants her actions and feelings recognized but she doesn't want a good or bad label attached to them and I think that's neat.

"I messed up. I found out."

This line is done really well in the mv and the light airy laughter as it's sung is reminiscent to the scenes where we see Yuno blowing up the balloons.

Sticky Bug

"Say that you love me, say that you love me since there's nothing else I need."

"Say that you love me, so it won't ever be forgotten."

"From now on keep thinking of me fondly, ok?"

"Hey, I love you! I really love you! I super-duper love you! I love you so much I don't even know anymore! Ah, that's just the tip of the iceberg. So, please let me keep filling you with this love."

"Say that you love me. Saying that I don't need anything else isn't being honest. Say that you love me for if I'm lucky, then at any rate, I really want every single part of you."

I really just love the tone used when all of these lines are sung. This cover really shows off how full of love Yuno is for those she likes even if she gets cold sometimes. I really love the contrast between it and Umbilical.

Tear Drop

"Happy or sad? Why decide?"

I really love this line. It's so blase but speaks volumes about Yuno's mindset. Putting her dislike of labels on full display. As she questions again why is it so important for others to tell her how they feel about her actions, the choices she made.

Instead this time she's not telling the audience not to answer like she did in Umbilical she's reprimanding people for deciding things about her life and circumstances without even knowing her opinion on it. Following up on her statements about the audience creating a sob story for her within her voice drama. The audience deciding that her life must have been sad that she must not know what love really is yet, etc.

It's a really good line.

"If you want “me”, come marco, I’ll polo."

I like this line because it highlights how Yuno doesn't like people chasing an idea of her. How people create this idealized version of her in their heads and project it on her expecting her to take responsibility for the misconceptions they formed. But- Yuno has no intention of taking responsibility for what other people assumed about her or giving into their assumptions.

She only smiles when she wants to smile and frowns when she wants to frown. It doesn't matter how people perceive that or want her to respond to their kindness. To me this was her blatantly saying keep chasing this idea of me and I'll keep moving further away. Just like in a game of marco polo. The audience is shouting out all these ideas of who they believe her to be who they want her to be and she's moving further and further away regardless of which way it goes.

"Let’s just do it, please smile?"

I like this one because it can be taken as Yuno talking to herself. It also follows up on her first line in her second interrogation when she asks to hurry up and have the song extracted or whatever. In a way i interpreted this as Yuno going like she does in the portal timeline interaction with Amane,

Let's just shut up and be happy because things are going welll aren't they I still have more freedom than the others and I'm not being mentally degraded they're being nice trying to be empathetic. So I should be able to smile about this but it still feels bad just like before. I should just smile and get this over with just pretend to be grateful but I'm not- I'm annoyed and over this.

Vampire

"Going back and forth between the best and the worst the fruit of anxiety becoming sweet."

Really highlights Yuno's disdain for swinging between extremes of any kind. Displayed by her complaints regarding how the news sensationalizes things in her first voice drama.

"Even if I act tough, I can't go against my feelings."

Highlights that despite Yuno's cold and cool exterior that she's still a person who acts impulsively at times and can wind up subject to her own desires. Even if she recognizes there's no point in it.

"If we can connect and check maybe I can die."

Really enjoy how Sticky Bug highlights the pleasure of infatuation and Vampire highlights the disatisfaction of finding out the person you were infatuated with can't fulfill your needs. Like maybe if we just meet I can finally die or maybe if we just discuss it I can finally let this go. The depression one feels when you want to go further but the other person either can't or doesn't want to.

"It's fine. It's sad. It's painful. Until I eat all of you- It's okay. It's fun. It feels amazing. It's so addicting that I'll drown, screaming."

Shows off Yuno's habit of getting quiet and reserved when things aren't going well. Because she can't or won't be bothered to fix other's misconceptions about her even if the assertions being made are hurting her more. She'll just do the bare minimum and hope they can read the room. Sadly, most people can't and eventually that turns out badly.

There's something so deeply animalistic about a girl being nice to those around them not because they're having a good time but because they just want the interaction to end and people not taking that hint. Like I can feel that sort of animosity in everything Yuno does. That sort of I'm definitely not enjoying myself but you're going to keep talking anyway because that's how you all are you really don't care if I'm enjoying this or not. If I say what you think is true or not. None of it matters to any of you, you all just want to hear yourselves talk.

And all her songs capture that feeling in subtle and interesting ways.

My favorite mv moment/frame for both her trial mvs are-

I like that all the background characters in Yuno's first mv have faces showing off her habbit of people watching brought up in her first trial interrogation if I'm remembering correctly and her more personable nature.

I really like this because

Fu fu is a phrase used to indicate laughter.

It literally looks like she's saying F U to the audience.

Three it displays that she was blowing up this balloon herself or actively making the situation bigger than what it was. Until it burst.

Favorite non-mv official illustration-

Her commissioned official fanart from the beginning of milgram!

I really like the coloring on it along with her little dual expression.

Favorite minigram episode/moment?

Episode 17: Hairdressing

And Episode 20: SpaGRAM

Favorite voice drama line/moment-

I like when Yuno is complaining about how adultery is over sensationalized in the media during her first trial interrogation. I also enjoy how she tells the audience that her home life wasn't particularly unhappy, and her family wasn't struggling financially. Basically, shooting down all the excuses the audience had created for her in her second voice drama. I also enjoyed how she tried to skip/rush the interrogation entirely.

But my favorite part is when she says she'd never be friends with someone like Kotoko a person who jumps to their own conclusions without taking others into consideration first. Though that's all from memory and I could be remembering that wrong. The fact that her and Jackalope just go that's a good friend you got there with all sarcasm is hilarious. Like they're totally throwing shade at Es' judge of character, and it's deserved.

Momose, Amane/ Amane Momose

6. favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

I like her relationship between Futa and Mikoto. They're all so sibling coded it's funny.

From-

21/04/16 (Amane’s First Trial) Amane: ………… Mikoto: Oh, welcome back Amane! ……what’s with the grim face? Ah, right, the guard summoned you! How was it? Did you cry? I bet you were so scared you cried, right!? Amane: ……alright then. If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’ll get. Mikoto: Huh? Oooi! Hey, are you listening?? Ooooi!

The minigram "Episode 32: The Reality of Art Majors"

Based off this portal timeline interraction

20/07/15 Amane: Eh, my studies? I enjoy it. To me, studying is something I do for fun. Do you not think the same, Mikoto-san? Mikoto: Not at all! It’s just a means to an end…… I just did the bare minimum needed to get into a good company. I actually went to an arts uni that had a pretty low subject requirement to enrol, and from there I studied curation and…… uhh, you don’t really know what that is huh. Hmm. Since your way of speaking is so mature, I keep forgetting I need to explain myself properly…… Amane: It’s fine. If there are any words I don’t understand I can look them up later. An arts university, though…… Does that mean you’re good at drawing, then? It may be a bit rude to say, but that’s rather unexpected. Mikoto: No, not really…? I mean, I could do the bare minimum needed to pass the entrance exam though. Even though it’s called an arts uni, there’s still subjects where you don’t need to draw at all. I’m the sort of person who tries to be efficient, so I worked backwards from the job I wanted to get into and chose to study subjects like direction and management~ ……ah, I’ve done it again……

Look at her looking up to him with so much interest. He's like the oldest sibling.

Then there's the middle or second oldest one Futa who's trying to seem mature but is just as immature if not more so than the youngest Amane.

20/06/03 Futa: ……huh? What’s your problem? You’re just leaving all your meat? What a weird kid. Amane: You say that, but you’re not eating all of your food either. ……are you not able to eat your vegetables? Even though you’re an adult. Futa: Huh, what, so you’re just eating grass? What are you, a rabbit or something? Since you’re just a brat, you should be eating your meat properly. You won’t grow if you don’t. Amane: ……you make some really funny jokes, don’t you, Futa-san.

Then look at him getting a pep talk from his little sister while going through the trials-

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday) Futa: Ahh…… I’m not wrong…… I wasn’t doing anything wrong…..Shut up, why are you going on an on about something so minor…… It has nothing to do with you…… Aaahhh…… Amane: Oh, were you talking to yourself, Futa-san? Or maybe there’s something there you’re able to see? Futa: ……! O-oh, it’s just you. It’s nothing. ……but well, on that note. Hey. Don’t you have anything happening too? Since being in here, just suddenly getting anxious. Feeling as though loads of people are all there condemning you, telling you you were wrong. Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either…… ……today is your birthday, correct? I’ll pray for God to keep you under his care. 23/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday) Futa: ……! Oi, is it just you. Don’t scare me like that. You shouldn’t just stand there saying nothing. Hah, what? Did you just come to laugh at me for being weak? Dumb brat. Amane: No. I just came to observe. To see what people are thinking. To see who is being corrupted. What about you, Kajiyama Futa? Futa: I understand even less of what you’re saying than I did before. Brat, you’re on the side who weren’t forgiven too, right? ……so why can you still stand. Don’t you can hear it too? The voices blaming us. ……I don’t have the energy to do anything like this. Amane: It goes without saying. Because there’s something far more important than the voices of people we can’t even see. People are able to get back up again. As long as there’s something to guid them. Kajiyama Futa, by coincidence today happens to be your birthday, correct? Don’t you think it’s a good opportunity to be reborn? If, right now, you could shake off those around you trying to drag you down to depravity, and could change––

I also enjoy her relationships between Yuno, Mahiru, and Jackalope as well. Though I feel Amane has opened up more around Mikoto and Futa than she has the others. Mahiru gets really motherly around Amane though and I think that's nice. Yuno also gets very sisterly around her and she was comfortable enough to talk about such a serious thing with Amane and no one else.

So, it seems like Amane is very well liked amongst most of the prisoners. Mu even spends time with her and Jackalope during the first trial.

20/05/28 Mu: It’s weird…… Even though we’re locked up in a place like this…… everyone seems fine. …………nothing’s happened to me so far…… b-but, who knows when they’ll do something horrible to me…… ……hey, are you listening to me? What are you staring at……? Amane: I’m not staring at anything. Mu: Liar, you definitely are…… What is it……? That rabbit? Jackalope…… I think that’s what it’s called. ……do you want to pet it? Amane: ………… Mu: Eh, you want to pet it? If you want to, then I’ll be happy to go over and join you. 20/08/01 Mu: Somehow he feels even fluffier today than usual…… so soft….. Ah, Haruka, do you want to touch too? Jackalope, I mean…… Haruka: Ah, I-I’m fine…… I’m n-not good, with animals…… Amane: Hm. To think you’d have a problem with something so cute. You’re a really strange person, Haruka-san. Haruka: …………I guess so.

It truly is a skill issue that Shidou can't get along with her because everyone else is doing just fucking fine. As anyone could see, they took a moment to step back and look at everything.

But my favorite relationship for her is the very sibling like ones. So, my top ones would have to be Yuno eldest sister, Mu middle sister, Amane younger sister- or Mikoto eldest brother, Futa middle brother, Amane youngest sister. That dynamic is very fun and relaxing.

7. favorite relationships with another character if they weren't in milgram, the way you'd imagine or would like them to be?

I imagine that if Amane wasn't in Milgram that she'd run into Mahiru who'd go out to Fukuoka to teach or do training for teaching. Considering her major-

Q.14 What was your major at university? Mahiru: It’s literature.

I imagine that Mahiru someone who genuinely loves children and is rather attentive, would be very focused on helping Amane in particular and making sure she was doing alright. She'd probably get to know her father and he'd ask her to look after Amane because he's away often. It would be very nice.

8. what is your theory for their crime? if there is general consensus on it in the fandom, do you have any other, not-so-widely-accepted thoughts on it?

I think the general consensus in the fandom is Amane killed her mother. However, I believe she killed two people. The daughter of the man who told her mother about the cat who probably pointed out to her father Amane was there and brough it up as Amane was leaving school and then her mom. Because the scepter she carries in Purge March is bloody before she even gets home and we see her walking from school. I don't think she killed an adult man like I've heard other people speculate but if her classmate was discussing what happened as she was leaving and making fun of the situation I have no doubt that Amane may have snapped and killed them too. It really depends on when she acquired the taser which she seems to have used on her mother to give her the same punishments she'd given to her. I at least believe Amane killed more than one person though.

9. do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own?

I forgive it. I come from the Mirai Nikki school of thought-

Fuck them parents. They could have been good parents, they could have been kind and considerate, treated their kid like a person instead of an animal. They did not and when they chose not to be that and no one else intervened or were actively making things worse at that point anyone is allowed to take things into their own hands at that point.

I get this naturally too. I showed my father Purge March and he saw what her mom did and said well you get what you give. I learned at a young age that abuse happens because good people aren't willing to speak up about it and even kinder people mostly children are unwilling to do the same to others even their abusers because they already know how it feels to have these things be done to them. So, they usually don't fight back.

Yet, like in Mikoto's voice drama Es pointed out that laughing these things off and saying nothing doesn't make them stop. I'm from the country whose slogan used to be "Don't tread on me."

If you don't want to get bitten don't step on the snake.

X

People get what they fucking give her victim gave abuse and got it back. If anyone doesn't like being hurt, then they shouldn't hurt others. It's that simple treat people the way you want to do be treated and if you treat them poorly expect to be treated poorly right back. Step on the tail and get the teeth.

Or as Milgram aptly put it-

"Once I bite I don't let go."

10. is the answer to the previous question different from your vote(s) on the character themselves (do you vote them based on anything else aside from the crime)?

Literally, nothing else could impact my verdict other than my personal feelings on this. I don't care about prisoner safety. Because they are in prison. I grew up in an area where going to prison meant you should expect to be jumped or shanked. So, that sounds like a fucking them problem if I've ever heard it. Plus, voting any of them innocent or guilty isn't going to stop them from jumping anyone. That is literally how incarcertaion works. Being in a prison with no access to weapons doesn't stop prisoners from making weapons, jumping each other, having full-on riots, or breaking out.

Hell, a guy broke out of prison, armed themselves with a gun, and then hid out in my high school during class time once. That fucking button isn't stopping anyone our opinion on the matter isn't stopping anyone. It's silly to think it would. Because if I was in a situation where I felt wholly unsafe and knew exactly who to blame for it with multiple tools at my disposal to defend myself I fucking would.

What are the voices going to do? Tell me I'm wrong some more? These incorporeal fucking voices- Aww cute you can't even come into this fucking prison and stop me. We don't even know if they'll actually be restrained or not we're banking on a maybe. So, I decide on whether I can personally forgive the crime or not because I have no control over anything outside of my own opinion and how I display it. My choices and words can not dictate how other people choose to act themselves. Those things can persuade them to act differently, but it certainly won't force them to.

Feeling pressured into doing anything for any reason other than you personally wanting to do it is a good way to create unnecessary regrets in my opinion.

Or in short I can't control that so it doesn't concern me. I am only responsible for my choices, not the choices of others. So, no, my vote is not impacted by any outside factors when it comes to Amane. Hell, I only voted Shidou. Innocent this trial because I simply assessed a guilty verdict would kill him, not because I thought he would actually help anyone. I just didn't want him dead, which might happen anyway because the man is better at making enemies than he is at actually giving medical assistance.

Kayano, Mikoto/ Mikoto Kayano

11. what are your favorite points about their story and the narrative surrounding them?

Even though it's a very controversial narrative point. The fact that he has disscoiative identity disorder. Simply because he seems to be weaponizing the stigmatization and misinformation around the disorder in order to get away with what he did. For me someone who grew up seeing that heavy stigmatization be created and reenforced repeatedly it's very cathartic to see it weaponized by a character that has it to their own benefit instead of it being the detriment it commonly is.

I also like the subtle discussion around the longterm impact of neglect. That can be seen when looking over his personality and behavior. Along with the handling of self-neglect. something that leads to him thinking everything is his fault and if something is going wrong he needs to try harder even if the situation is completely unfair. While consistently putting the needs of others before his own.

12. what do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

I wish that people would focus on how his characterization tries to and achieves at weaponizing the stigma and lack of information that has always been around dissociative identity disorder in order for him to make a convincing case for himself and stop taking everything a face value. He's a very compelling character and unless one personally knows what it's like to grow up in a time where this disorder was constantly and consitently vilified or even just recognizes it's mishandling in other media than they wouldn't truly appreciate something taking those stereotypes and using them in a way that actually winds up benefitting a character instead of hurting them. Especially doing so while tying the character themselves heavily to the horror genre the genre that set the stage for the stigmatization of this disorder.

13. any ideas on what would they and their MV be like if they got a different verdict in T1?

I've said it before and I'll say it again- This would have been Mikoto trial two if he was Innocent. Like he would not want to go anywhere. He would have consistent food, housing, and access to order whatever he wanted even luxury items. Like he says he needs to get back to work and he still might be concerned about it but he'd be pretty happy to one have his anger validated and two not have to constantly be focusing on his survival for once.

To be honest I think his second trial mv might have been more mild if he was voted innocent round one. Like he would have given more information of course and it would have still had those horror influences but it would have been far more grounded than what wee got here. Like in MeMe he said the truth will never be denied so if we say he's right he's just going to tell us what he did anyway.

He' the same as Amane in that regarded just wanting to feell accepted before actually saying what he did in full. Except if he's denied he's more likely to close off instead of pushback like she did.

14. any headcanons on their appearance?

I kind of stated I think Mikoto got grey hair young or has had a few grey hairs since he was a kid and that's why he dyes his hair that way. I also like to think he has glasses or at least computer glasses given his job. I think Mikoto is one to recognize that he's good looking but not really believe it if that makes sense.

Also I think he'd ccollect like weighted earrings. The sort that have a good weight to them simply because they feel better and he has a lot of pairs he doesn't really wear often. Like how he wears a different pair in his birthday art.

15. what do you think of their voice?

Ah, I really like the range but it's kind of annoying since his voice actor voices Vanitas in the case study of Vanitas as well. I think I've had an over exposure to it given I've heard them in a lot of things.

Yet, the way they ennuciate and play with tone with Mikoto makes it very-

Sonically pleasing. I tend to more so enjoy his growling lines and more rage filled ones. Yet the ight tones go incredibly overlooked in my opinion. His voice and the way he speaks has a very energetic and restrained feel to it that leans into tiredness at points. Also the voice acting for John is very remniscent to how people who grew up in cities tend to speak and are told not to speak like in business settings.

So, the tonal control is very impressive and commendable to me. Making both of his voices dramas a real feast for the ears where you've got to really listen to enjoy it in full.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Hello. How are you doing?

Can i ask for some advice? What should i do when my friend(s) ignore me or give me silent treatment? I used to react but now I've stopped doing that, it's always me who apologize not her. It has happened in my previous friend group too and they only used me and bullied me later due to my gentle, overcaring and silent nature. It's heart wretching tbh.

Hey :)

It really is, and I am so very sorry you had/have to go through such a tough situation. At times gentle caring people like you tend to give a lot to others (also in fear of being betrayed and abandoned), and because of this they often encounter people who rather continuosly take from them; and honestly takers rarely know when to stop. This is why it's important to build up boundaries, to remind ourselves we're not responsible of making their life better at any cost nor we need to do this much to be accepted.

I don't know the background stories so take all I am going to say with a grain of salt.

My suggestion is trying to focus on you first. Since you had that terrible experience with your past group, it could be that being ignored and "ghosted" brings up lot of issues inside of you, connected to how you were used and abused by those people (and maybe even further in your past, Idk). it could be of help for example to try and check within what you make this silent treatment and being ignored mean about you. Not just the possible consequences that experiencing these behaviours may make you worry about but also what they mean about your persona according to you (eg. this person ignores me -> I probably said something wrong, they're tired of me, they are using me cause I'm too gentle, they have found more interesting people than me, they'll bully me/leave me + I'm bad, wrong, not worthy or lovable, I won't have good friends ever, I will be alone...). Be kind and gentle with yourself in the process, do not give your gentleness away only on the outside. You need it first. And it's so precious, never lose it please. This is tough stuff, so don't be afraid to ask for help and support. (I'll come back to this and your "silent nature" later on).

Another advice I want to give you is to try to build up your self defense. And by this I mean healthy emotional boundaries: try to not let your emotions and thoughts be defined by those of your friends, by how they treat you and how much they respond to you and all. Separate yourself from them. Especially separate your self worth and lovability from them. You are worthy and lovable whether they ignore you or not. If you really need to, when you feel like you are being ignored you can consider the possible options for why you are being ignored (eg. maybe something else is going on with them? maybe since it's not an urgent answer they decided to answer me later? maybe they forgot to answer me?... -it depends also on the situations in which you are being ignored or you are feeling ignored: not saying your feelings are not valid at all, but at times negative past experiences can make us more easily anxious and coming to fast conclusions, so it's also worth to see if we're being objective or not. Please though, don't let others manipulate your thoughts about this: if they're ignoring you, they are and this is why it's important to stay as objective as we can). Just try to not stress over these reasons though or they will only make it worse: even if there's none, still focus back on you and try to stay balanced and not overthink about the possible consequences. Stay present. Your worth is never defined by your friends. Especially by those who cannot help you when you need.

If it's someone you feel a connection with, try to communicate with them about yourself and your feelings, your insecurities too. You wrote that you're generally silent, but maybe you can find a person in a group with whom you can try to connect more deeply (if it's reciprocal) and you can share more with them, ask questions, be talkative.... You can also express your feelings when you are being/feeling ignored by saying something like "Since I had *this past negative/abusive experience* with those people, I feel uncomfortable when you don't answer me or ignore me cause it makes me feel like I did something wrong to you. Can you please help me and tell me if I actually did that or you simply need some time for yourself/have other plans for the time being?" Same goes for the silent treatment: "I'm sorry but right now I don't understand why you're not considering me. Can you please explain to me what I did wrong?". (If you fear being judged when saying this, I ofc understand you but remember that people judge others in fear of being judged themselves, so it's never about you even if it seems so. Relationships need to be safe places for everyone involved imo or they're just useless).

As you start speaking up about your issues like this, try to work on what makes you so uncomfortable like, eg. the fear of being abandoned/judged, possible social anxiety(?)/shiness, not feeling enough to have friends and ending up alone... Which is not the case, please trust me. You will have great relationships also cause of your character (just try to balance it a bit more: eg. "overcaring" can be a bit too much, you can try to be just "caring" of others and use the "over" part for you); take your time to work on yourself, especially protecting yourself. Don't be scared of expressing yourself, your likes and dislikes... this may help you discourage those who may think they can take control of you, manipulate you or even make fun of you cause of your laid-back nature.

It's already far too long so I won't say anything else. Wish you all the best, take care of you<3

[luxgalador]

Hey Lux, little cat-related question. We just brought our second kitty home today (Crackers, he is six months old) and I'm a bit worried that our girl Clover (10 months) js not going to take to him. Any advice from when you introduced Sneakers to Socks? They are in separate rooms currently so that Crackers can get acclimated before introducing the 2.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a cat expert or a vet I simply have 2 cats of my own, went through a lengthy and successful bonding process with my 2 and am currently doing this with the 3rd cat we live with at the moment.

It was a LONG process with my babies. Socks by nature is skeptical and stressed around other cats. keeping them separate for the first few weeks is good. bringing in items and things that smell like the other (for both) is a good start too.

I then had supervised "visits" where I'd just watch what was happening. I'd allow a little tension so that they could learn the way the other communicates boundaries and only step in/cut it short if any active conflict happens because that'll basically reset the clock if you allow it to escalate. On some level, they do have to work it out themselves but there is a line. Early on, these would last like 20 mins max and over time be extended.

Eventually, you can have them coexist but just keep an eye on things and step in when you feel they've gotten a little too spicy.

It took over a year for Socks to finally realize Sneak wasn't gonna hurt her. He wanted to play and loved her right away. Each cat is different. Right now, we're struggling a bit with Socks and my sister's cat Meeko. He's a VERY spicy boy and gets angry at her when she growls and tells him she doesn't wanna be around him, so he'll lash out and corner/chase her. It's been over a year and we're still here. It may never get better but we're practicing the same things and separating them when we need to. It's a shame because every time it gets bad it basically sets the clock back to 0. Sneakers and Meeko get along fine but sometimes Sneak will step in and bop him to defend his sister. It's quite cute.

But that's cats! They're unique personalities and sometimes they just clash for whatever reason.

Another tip: cats don't respond to punishment. They don't understand. All yelling at a cat accomplishes is further stressing them out, so try and find non-punitive ways to separate and then sooth each cat if a conflict occurs, reassuring them that what happened was okay and they are safe. This hopefully gets them more used to the idea and willing to resume cat negotiations.

[danthropologie]

I watched the podcast and daniel def tries to deflect from those questions and is (imo) very uncomfortable and laughing in awkwardness - def not excusing it tho!

immediately putting it under a cut so people that don't want the discourse can ignore 😭

a couple things i want to say before i say anything else:

these are just my opinions about it. i don't expect anyone else to agree with me, and honestly, i would encourage other people to form their own thoughts and opinions, cause everyone is going to respond differently.

i'm just gonna say it once for the record and then i'm moving on. we're not dwelling on it, i'm not open to further discourse about it, please don't send me anything else about the situation or about anything i've said here because i will be ignoring and deleting it.

now on to the asks themselves:

ok so here's the thing: yes he did deflect to a certain extent, but to me it read more like someone that's been pr trained out the ass and knew that certain jokes or topics were toeing a line they shouldn't touch than actual genuine discomfort, especially as the podcast went on and the jokes kept being circled back to. there were multiple instances where, in the midst of these long misogynist bits from the hosts, he'd sit back and joke about how he's getting a free comedy show. there was the way that after they'd finally moved on from that first, long ass bit and started asking him genuine questions, before answering, he brought it back up to jokingly ask if they're done with that topic now, which of course brought on another round of the joke. and then add to that the comments about bringing them out to a race and wanting to hire them as his personal shit talkers on the grid and things like that...it just felt like there was a constant stream of, like, endorsement of what was happening from him (which of course there was cause he's literally the one that chose to go on there in the first place!!)

i do still like him, but it's also a lot more complicated for me than it was before. like on one hand, it’s been acknowledged over and over that this sport is literally garbage from top to bottom, these men are not the place to look for moral guidance, etc., and so i’m not necessarily surprised by any means when something like this happens, especially considering the fact that this is not the first time he’s said or done something stupid and it probably won’t be the last either. but on the other hand, when it comes to this situation specifically, for me there’s just something so visceral about watching a man in his position—someone with a largely female fanbase that he’s actively and directly profiting off of through his merch—finding that sort of shit funny. it’s gross, it’s shitty, it doesn’t feel good to me, and it’s one of those things where if i knew someone personally that had done the exact same thing, i’d be reevaluating where i stand with them yk? so right now, i’m kind of at the point where i’m still working through those feelings and trying to figure out if this whole situation is something i can personally move past. but either way, i think i’m definitely gonna start thinking twice before giving him quite so much of my money 🤷‍♀️

nothing to add! the whole thing is genuinely just so stupid to me on every level and i can’t imagine what he or anyone on his team was thinking booking it. like you said, even if they agree with it or find it funny or whatever the fuck, you’d think there’d be at least one person with enough of a brain cell to say ‘hey maybe it’s actually NOT a good idea to endorse this publicly.’ but as i said in that post, not surprising that this happened (and that it’s not the first time he’s been on a questionable podcast in the first place) when he’s surrounded by such a homogenous group of yes men 24/7 lmao

i’m saying this with all the love in the world: i really REALLY think that’s a decision you need to be able to make for yourself, rather than be told by someone else. everyone’s going to have their own perspective and their own feelings about it—some people are going to say he deserves to be cancelled, some are going to find ways to excuse it or justify it or explain it away, and others will fall somewhere in between—so the most important thing is figuring out what you feel based on your perspective, rather than just following some herd opinion about who qualifies as a Good Person on tumblr dot edu yk?

[bitchkay]

Stolen kisses♡

~Thoma

CW: secret relationship, heated kisses, caught in the act, Rio acting like Thomas big brother☺️

Word count: 842

Rating: Teen and up audiences

Note: I simply felt like writing about Thoma so I did. This was litgit off the top of my head.

"Do you wanna kiss me right now?"

At the abrupt question Thoma almost choked on his juice.

The two of you sat side by side in the refectory eating an early lunch, your usual companions –Rio, Sherry/any of the other valets– off doing things, rendering them unable to join you.

"-ghm.. repeat that," Thoma said, getting over his short fit of coughs.

"I asked if you wanna kiss me right now?"

"So I did not mishear," Thomas says, taking another sip of his juice again in hope to further clear his throat.

"Well… I haven't seen you in a while. You're always busy or off gallivanting with Rio and we're pretty much alone right now," you said gesturing to the pretty sparse looking refectory, only very few seats filled including your own.

You and Thoma have been going out in secret for a while. It's not that you didn't want anybody to find out or that you didn't think anyone would support you, you just didn't want anybody in your business and it was fun sneaking around sometimes. Stealing kisses when no one's looking, curling behind corners, late night walks, little gifts, short visits. Of course the charade wouldn't continue forever but you were sure to enjoy your privacy while it lasted. In being in a secret relationship though, nobody knows you're together and the time you end up spending together is limited. All the more reason to cherish the little things.

"I apologize for not coming to see you in recent days," Thoma hung his head.

"Don't be sorry, I know you have work to do. Do you want to kiss me though?" you said asking him again.

"Hehe, my guess is you want a kiss," Thoma chuckled, holding your hand under the table.

"Please," you said, your voice taking on a pleading tone.

"In here?"

"There's like nobody here, and it's not yet the hour for people to be filling into this place for lunch, everyone's working or in lectures, please Thoma," you plead with him.

Thome looked at you for a moment, your hands clasped together, your bottom lip jutted out.

"... you're way too cute."

Your face lit up as Thoma reached for you. Placing his palm on the side of your face he pulled you into his lips. He kissed you sweetly smiling against your lips as your hands found the back of his neck. Thoma,  about to pull away you tighten your grip.

"... more.." you mumbled against his lips kissing him harder.

Shit Thoma wasn't complaining. Responding to you, he deepened the kiss, shutting out the whole world around him. His arms snaked around your waist, the both of you on the edge of your chairs. Oh how addicting your kiss is.

"Mmm…" slipping your tongue in his mouth you shut out your surroundings, only focused on your paramour in front of you. "... I love your kisses…"

On the other side of the refectory doors was the cheery Volerian prince accompanying the Invidian princess on their way to join the two of you a bit earlier than originally anticipated.

The food on the table now lukewarm, you and Thoma continued your passionate makeout session in the nearly deserted refectory. Well it wouldn't be so empty for a moment longer.

Rio pushing open the refectory doors immediately recognized Thomas light colored tufted of hair oblivious to what his valet was actually engaged in.

You mumbled sweet nothings against Thomas wet lips as you continued kissing him, letting your desires take the lead. "...do you wanna sleep with m–"

"Um…"

"!.. Goodness."

At the sound of familiar voices, the both of you jumped back from each other tipping your chairs and falling on the floor. In a fit of embarrassment both from being caught and from falling on the floor, you both scramble back to your feet.

"Woah, hey Rio, Sherry; what brings you here?" you said awkwardly.

"I thought you had things to do… wasn't expecting you so um early," Thoma said, trying to keep the flush to his cheeks at bay.

Rio and Sherry gave each other a knowing look. Not even Rio can misunderstand the situation at hand.

"Is Thoma your paramour?" Rio spoke up first.

"The two of you seemed to be pretty engaged in each others lips up until a moment ago," Sherry said, looking between the two of you.

"... are you mad?" you cringed waiting to be scolded.

"Only because you didn't tell me!" Sherry said, enveloping you in a hug, squealing in delight.

"Why would this be angering, my Thoma is all grown up!" Rio said ruffling the shorter boy's hair.

"Hey!"

After a moment of laughter at the boys antics you finally were able to sit at the table.

"You have to tell me everything, and don't be scarce with the details," Sherry beamed, sitting across from you.

You and Thoma gave each other a look before sighing.

This is going to take a while.

©bitchkay.tumblr.com

Sure, hope for Thoma getting a route is slim to none; will I stil hope and wish and pray for one? Of course.

[holdingforgeneralhugs]

Bitter Pill to Swallow

Chapter 22 (Masterlist)

I know it's been ages but I'm finally back with a new chapter and I hope you all enjoy it ❤

"Hey, Mr intelligent intelligence officer, please tell me you know when it's gonna stop goddamn rainin'."

"It seems you've confused the job of an intelligence officer with a weatherman there Val," Lew chuckled, a wry smile on his face.

"Then maybe you can tell me how much longer we're gonna be in this goddamn woods," she quipped, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Well why don't you head across that road there and ask the Krauts how much longer they're planning to stick around."

"Touché," Valerie laughed, bowing sarcastically in defeat. She huffed out a disbelieving laugh when she noticed Lew lifting a bottle to his lips and taking a deep slug from it. "Jesus Lew, tell me you're not drinkin' a bottle of Schnapps in the pissin' rain in the middle of active combat."

"What can I say, it just fell into my hand," he smirked, taking another long swig from the bottle, "would be a shame to let it go to waste."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that," Dick sighed as he approached them through the trees, his shoulders tense. They'd been under almost constant fire for the majority of the day, and Dick had been doing his best to keep the show running. Ultimately though they'd had to pull back into the treeline, and he'd been on edge ever since. "I sent a Sherman to try and take out that Tiger Royal we spotted earlier but no dice. Damn Tiger took him down with two shots, then took a potshot at one of the others and got that too."

"It's gonna be a long night, isn't it?" Valerie sighed in dismay, meeting Dick's pitying gaze with one of her own.

"Afraid so Val," he replied, "I'm gonna need you to check in with your mortar squad, make sure they've got enough rounds to keep them going. We can't let up the pressure on the highway."

"You got it boss," she agreed, giving him a lazy two finger salute as she headed off through the trees. Dick watched her go for a moment before turning back to Nix with a disapproving frown, but he chose not to say anything to his friend.

"Glad to see you and Val have kissed and made up," Nix commented as he swigged from his bottle. Dick rolled his eyes at him before responding.

"We talked," he said pointedly, "and we're all good."

"She admit why she was angry?"

"Well...not necessarily no" Dick sighed, refusing to meet Nixon's amused gaze. She'd been incredibly cagey when he'd questioned her, but he hadn't wanted to push any further lest they end up in another argument. But that didn't mean that Nix's theory was right. Maybe it was just something really personal that she hadn't wanted to tell him about. There could be a thousand reasons as to why she'd avoided his questions.

"Right," Nix commented dryly, "well at least you're friends again. Now all you need to do is pull your head out of your ass and tell her you like her and all will be well in the world."

"Nix," Dick huffed in exasperation, "I already told you..."

"Yeah yeah, I know you did," Nix butted in, clapping him on the back before making his way towards the trees, "told me all about honour and duty and all that other crap." Dick shook his head in exasperation, refusing to even dignify Nix with a response. Nix to his credit didn't seem inclined to wait for one.

"Nix?" Dick called to his friend as he watched him amble off through the trees, "Take it easy on the Schnapps. And please try not to get caught with it." Nix gave him a half-hearted wave before continuing on his trek through the trees, Dick watching him go with concern.

~~~~

"Hey, Lieutenant Landry,"

Valerie stopped in her tracks and waited for Shames to catch up to her. He'd been with her in third platoon since they'd dropped in Holland, and Valerie found they got along well enough together. He'd been nothing but nice to her since they'd met, and she appreciated his competency in combat.

"Everything alright Shames?" She asked as they fell into step beside each other.

"All good," he replied, "just checked in with the mortar squads and made sure they were stocked up on ammo."

"Great, one less job for me to do," Valerie chuckled, clapping him on the shoulder, "I'll check in with the machine gunners and the others, you go on and have something to eat."

"Thanks Valerie, I'll check in with you again later." With that he was off through the trees again, and Valerie changed her course slightly to find her machine gunners.

"Hey Smokey, how are things lookin'?" She asked as she slid into the foxhole beside him and More.

"No real moves yet, just firing mortars back and forth across the road," he sighed, leaning his back against the edge of the foxhole.

"Gonna be a long night if that's the case," More chimed in, shaking his head, "Any chance they might just get sick of it and piss off?"

"No telling at this point I'm afraid," Valerie sighed, patting them on the back before pulling herself from the foxhole and continuing down the line.

"All good Shifty?" She asked as she passed by him, "you need anything?"

"Yes ma'am, all good here," he replied, giving her a small smile and a short nod. She moved to the next foxhole, and so on until she was satisfied all her boys were ok. Only then did she take a moment alone to catch her breath. She slid into her own foxhole with a weary sigh, leaning her head back against the side of it. Closing her eyes she settled herself into a more comfortable position, hoping she could squeeze in a few hours shut eye before she was needed on the line again.

~~~

Ironically, Alton More got his wish in the end, when in the early hours of the morning the Germans pulled back from their position across the highway.

"Pack it up third platoon," Valerie shouted wearily, "we're moving out." By the late afternoon Easy and the rest of the 506th were on the highway and marching back towards Uden once more. The rain pounded down on them relentlessly, and it served to exacerbate the already tired mood of the company. They'd only been in Holland for a week but it had been nothing but hardship ever since they'd gotten there, and the moral of the men had fallen low.

"Alright boys settle in," she called as they trudged their way into the town, "we're here for the night and maybe tomorrow so make the most of the rest while you can, you've more than earned it. I know the food situation isn't great right now, but if you're real nice and polite to the locals, they might take some pity on you and spare you some rations. I hear a whisper of one of you bein' rude to a local and there'll be hell the pay y'hear me?"

"Yes Ma'am," they chimed back wearily. Once she was sure third platoon were settled in she wandered down the main street of Uden. She spotted Dick and Harry heading into a house so she followed them, traipsing over the threshold and down the hall towards what she assumed was the kitchen.

"Don't suppose there's any good food lying around?" She asked as she sunk into one of the chairs around the table, "man what I wouldn't give for Maman's shrimp 'n' grits right about now."

"Oh don't even start on food," Harry groaned, resting his head against the tabletop, "Kitty makes the best chicken pot pie you've ever had in your life."

"Well there's good news and bad news," Dick commented as he rifled through the cupboards, "Bad news is there's no shrimp, grits, or chicken pot pie. Good news is there is some stale bread that doesn't seem to have any mold."

"What a feast," Harry snorted, but he still picked at some gratefully, "beats army rations that's for sure."

"Hell Harry, just about anything edible beats army rations," Valerie chuckled, picking at the crust of the bread. There was a comfortable silence for awhile as they each ate their share, before Harry proclaimed it was time to hit the hay and wandered off down the hall to find a bed. Valerie and Dick shared a look, silently questioning if they should also get a kip in, but neither of them made a move to go.

"Do you ever wonder what the hell we're doin' out here Dick?" She asked with a weary sigh, and he ached at how bone weary she looked in that moment.

"I wonder about that at least once a day Val," he replied, shaking his head and leaning his elbows on the table.

"You'd never realise it with you though," she mused, "you always seem so put together, so in control of yourself and everythin' else too. Meanwhile I feel like I'm startin' to crack and everyone's gonna see it sooner or later."

"Is this because of Veghal?" He asked, and when she nodded he sighed, "I promise you, we've all been struggling since that night. We're all worn out and hungry so trust me, nobody would think any different of you for feeling a bit weary from it all."

"You really think so?" She asked, a hint of vulnerability in her tone.

"I know so. And anyway, you wouldn't be saying I was put together if you'd been in Uden," he snorted, an almost shy look in his eyes as he made the admission.

"I find that hard to believe," Valerie snickered, her curiosity piqued, "care to share?"

"Well.." he started, his cheeks reddening, "the whole thing was quite stressful and I...well I...I chewed out a British Lieutenant for abandoning his tank for a cozy tea, then I...I dragged Harry out of a pub by his ear and chewed him out as well for sleeping on the job."

"Aw hell Dick" she laughed, her eyes crinkling, "I'd've paid good money to see that."

"I bet you would," he chuckled, "Harry was certainly taken by surprise that's for sure."

"See that's the thing with you," she mused, a teasing glint in her eye, "you're so quiet most of the time, so it takes 'em by surprise when you lose your temper. Not me though, I've known all along you had a mean streak."

"Oh is that so?" He snickered, raising an eyebrow at her sceptically.

"Sure is," she grinned, "but then again, I'm a special case. I seem to know just the right buttons to push."

"You certainly are a special case," he replied, a soft smile on his lips. Valerie smiled back at him, her eyes lingering on his for a beat too long before she looked away shyly and cleared her throat, her cheeks beginning to heat.

"Well I dunno about you but I think it's time I tried to get some sleep," she proclaimed, standing and dusting the crumbs off her pants. She stepped around the table but paused and glanced at Dick once more.

"Goodnight Dick," she said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder, "and thanks for the chat." She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before continuing out of the kitchen and down the hall towards the staircase.

"Goodnight Val," he murmured back, his eyes following her retreating back all the way down the hall until she disappeared up the stairs.

~~~~

"Lieutenant Landry, wait!"

Valerie turned around and smiled when she saw Vest jogging over to her, a letter clutched in his hand. "Aw great, we're finally getting mail."

"Its about time I know," he laughed, handing it over and giving her a salute before turning on his heel.

"Hey wait," she stopped him, "you got one for Doc Roe? I'm headin' his way so I can pass it along if you do."

"Oh that would be great thanks," he smiled, rifling through his mail bag before pulling out a matching envelope to hers and passing it to her. She bid him goodbye and made her way over to the medical tent. She was glad to see it was rather quiet in the tent, a good indicator that everyone was doing OK for the time being.

"Hey Chouchou," she called as she walked into the storeroom, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Always good t'see you Chérie," he replied softly, giving her a tight squeeze and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I've got  surprise for you," she grinned as she pulled back, holding the envelope out to him between two fingers.

"About time we got some mail around here," he laughed wryly as he plucked it from her grasp and moved to sit on the side of a cot, opening his letter without delay.

"It's nice to see her writing," Valerie sighed wistfully, "almost like I can hear her talkin' to us."

"If I close my eyes I can just about imagine we're sittin' in the kitchen waitin' for her to get home with the groceries," he sighed, a tone of melancholy in his voice.

"Do you think she'd be proud of us?...of me?" Valerie asked quietly after a moment of silence, her thumb rubbing the ink on the page until it started to smudge a little.

"Course she is," Gene replied, his brows furrowing, "Why would you even say somethin' like that?"

"Well you....you're out here lookin' after people and me...well sometimes I wonder if she'd be proud of the things I do."

"You kiddin' chérie?" He exclaimed incredulously, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his side, "you're out here lookin' after people too. You're their Lieutenant, their leader, and when push comes to shove and shit gets heavy they look to you. They rely on you because they know that no matter what you've got their back out there. You're smart, you care, an' I know maman would be proud if she could see you now."

"Aw hell Gene," she sniffled, wiping her eye with the back of her hand, "you didn't need to go and say all that."

"I meant every word of it, and you best believe it," he insisted, "no more doubting yourself chérie, this company is lucky to have you and don't you forget it."

"Thanks for havin' my back Chouchou," she murmured, "thanks for always bein' there when I need it."

"Always chérie," he replied, kissing the top of her head gently, "from the Bayou to Berlin, and don't you forget it."

Taglist:  @tvserie-s-world @geniedocroe @generousdreamlanddestiny @sofietargaryen @cagzzz107 @stolemyspoons @alejodi0nysus @sunflowerchuck @now-im-a-belieber @50ssdelrey @50svibes @eugene-emt-roe @pennyllane @televisionboy @nandoalonsos @ask-you-what-sir @parajumpboots @mads-weasley @tetragonia

[the-era-of-shadow]

Innate Affiliation

Written by Ash Rose

Cover by Ash Rose

Chapter 2: At Last, An Ordinary Day (Right?)

THIS STORY CONTAINS: Swearing, Described injury

[Previous]

[Next]

After a few minutes, all of the Freedom Fighters gathered together right outside the Sky Patrol and coordinated plans for what each of them would do for that day.

"Is… is it alright if I accompany you, Amy..?" Whisper asked shyly, hoping she wasn't being bothersome.

"Oh! I don't mind that at all! I kind of needed a buddy anyway, since Tails totally bailed on -"

"Whisper! Where were you thinking of going??" Tangle suddenly sprung upon the scene. She looked up from her best friend as she waited for a response. "Oh hey, Amy!"

"Nice to see ya Tangle! Whisper was just-"

"What cha' running off like that for, huh?? If you wanted to play hide n' seek, you should'a told me!" Lux questioned as she pounced on Tangle with a hug.

Amy no longer had any response to give.

"Girls! Girls! I thought we were going to stick together!!" Jewel finally flew in, ending the domino of Freedom Trainees that Amy was stuck being witness to.

"Well, you're all together now!" Amy noted, trying to find some new footing in the conversation.

"... I guess we are then." Jewel responded simply.

"S-sorry for making you all worry… I-I just wanted to ask Amy if I could buddy up with her… I didn't realize you all would follow right behind me…" Whisper explained.

"Really?? I guess I'm not being a good enough friend then!" Tangle jested, causing the other girls to giggle.

"Anyway, I was going to tell Whisper that I'm honestly in need of a buddy myself since Tails ditched me to buddy up with Sonic of all people…" Amy explained further.

"Ah. I would say I can't blame them, buuuuuuuuuut…" Tangle said awkwardly.

"He's become a real pain in the rear end if you catch what I'm saying!" Lux added.

"Well, we always have room for another!" Jewel declared happily.

"Sweet! So, what do you guys have planned for today?" Amy asked.

The four Freedom Trainees looked at each other with blank expressions and then looked back at Amy.

"... You don't have any plans, do you?" She asked, sighing.

"No…" Jewel admitted, giggling awkwardly.

"... Do you have any..?" Whisper inquired.

"Well, I was thinking of stopping by Ms. Vanilla's place to grab some breakfast-" Amy started to explain, before being interrupted by Tangle, who was proving to be by far the most talkative of the Freedom Trainees.

"Ooh! Oh! Oh!! I like that! Let's do that!"

"I second that! Mama always told me and ol' Aurora to never waste an opportunity for free food!" Lux said as she placed her hand on Tangle's shoulder, causing the lemur to blush.

"Aurora?" Amy questioned curiously.

"My sister! Older, specifically." Lux answered.

"Oooh, I see! By how much?"

"Ah… pretty sure it's by like, 4 or 5…"

"Years?"

"Minutes."

"So you guys are identical twins??" Tangle guessed, intercepting the conversation.

"I never said we were identical… But we are twins." Lux replied. "Though the thought that y'all were able to assume we could've been is real flattering, ya know?" She continued, which made Tangle blush again.

"I really like this conversation we're having here, but do you guys think we should ya know… start actually going somewhere instead of just standing around the Sky Patrol?" Jewel proposed.

"Oh, yeah!" Amy responded, giggling. "Follow me!"

"Anyway, that ol' Aurora, she's always been a real lucky girl in my eyes." Lux suddenly spoke, continuing the conversation where it had left off before the five started their walk.

"What makes you say that…?" Whisper asked.

"Well, if I'm honest, it's 'cause she's the one out of the two of us that were actually born as a girl!" Lux admitted bluntly.

"Wait! You're trans, Lux??" Amy inquired excitedly.

"You better believe it! I worked real hard to look as good as I do now, ya know! So y'all thinking that Aurora was my identical twin made me real -"

"Euphoric?" Amy suggested.

"Yeah!"

"I get that completely! I'm trans too, if you didn't know." Amy revealed.

"Really?? Dang girl! You pass even better than I do!" Lux exclaimed, pulling Amy into a hug, which ended up looking really awkward considering that Amy was a good few inches taller than Lux.

"P-pardon if I come off as rude… But didn't you say that your parents gave you your name..?" Whisper hesitantly questioned.

"Yeah, I did, didn't I?" Lux acknowledged. "I wasn't lying when I said that, ya know! It's just that I felt like the name "Lux" still fit me, even after I came out of the closet!"

"I see, I see…" Whisper said, smiling.

"I figured that Jewel at least already knew though, 'cause of that background check she did." Lux added, to which Jewel nodded. "Mama said that she would've gotten that gender marker on my legal what-nots changed already if it wasn't for me having to wait 'till I'm eighteen!"

"Well that's certainly a nice offer! Sonic said the same to me, honestly." Amy testified.

"But knowing him…" Whisper muttered.

"Not really? I mean, he's a massive dick, yeah! But considering he did it for Tails, and himself too, I don't think he was lying about that one. Hell, the non binary markers he did for Tails and himself are even harder to get, so if he's willing to do all that, then he's definitely willing to get mine changed to "female"."

"Well… you never know, considering you two are… quite hostile to each other." Whisper advised, to which Amy simply shrugged.

----

"Almost done! Just place a little dot riiiiiiight… there! " A ghostly appendage placed itself upon the pale red piece of scrolling paper, and where it was placed was quickly filled by a fluid, and yet rough circle of black ink, having a charm to it that was quite like a child's coloring page.

"There!" The proud voice of a happy little hedgehog exclaimed.

"Congrats, Shads! "

"Now you officially know how to write each and every one of the names of the members of your hivemind in Hi-Bloosiæne…! "

"The first test of my abilities has been completed…! I know for sure that I'll become a truly skilled Black Arms leader!" Shadow declared with a dorky grin on it's face, which brought much joy to their ghostly companions.

"Yes… Every day, you show more and more of your potential…! I for one am proud to be guiding you on your way…!"

"Same here!! You make me happy to be a cool auntie!!"

"Dad… Sen… You guys are being really sappy right now!!" Shadow teased loudly, giggling in a mischievous tone.

"Oh shit yeah… I didn't really notice it! " Sendrir laughed as well, admittedly a tad embarrassed. Doom on the other hand, did not react to Shadow's teasing, and simply looked out into the distance. "Oh come on now big guy! You've gotta admit, they've got a point! "

"Agreed… however, if you two would redirect your attention to the skies beyond us…" Sendrir and Shadow both looked at where Doom was looking, and instantly, Shadow saw a familiar silhouette in the distance.

"The Doctor!?"

Parting through the thick clouds, Doctor Robotnik's aircraft came into full view. It was nothing to really get that worried over compared to the whole fleet he had attacked the Aerth Temple with back during the first Black Arms invasion, but it still served to interrupt the new leader's downtime, and that was nothing short of unexceptable.

"So it seems that the foolish scientist has not learned his lesson…? " Doom sneered in annoyance.

"But that'll be no issue for you, right? " Sendrir added, hyping Shadow up for battle.

"Exactly." Shadow responded, smirking.

Shadow’s determination and anger was allowed to sit and fester as Doctor Robotnik instantly went into a monologue once he had arrived. Ridiculing Shadow for being at fault for just about all of his problems as of late. Whether the accusations were correct or not, and some were, the affair made them incredibly bored, and boredom as a Black Arms is an emotion that is quite bothersome to face, and the odd little quirks in Shadow’s creation made it feel even worse. Before the doctor was anywhere near finished, it planned to attack. Swiftly and without mercy, just as they had been instructed to during training.

But before they could take a single strike, a voice bellowed from behind.

"Oh doctor! Your date is waiting~!" It shouted, the voice immediately recognizable to all in attendance, except for Doctor Robotnik himself, for this was vengeance, not for the one who spoke, but for a friend and a colony both long lost.

Ivo looked up at the sky, his eyes following the figure that the voice had come from. What faced him when he did were five wide eyes, filled to the brim with bloodlust.

"A DATE WITH DESTINY, THAT IS!!"

Though her face was covered by the mask upon it, Ivo could swear he saw a manic grin coming from his adversary as she swung down and sliced his aircraft almost in half with its long, sharp sword.

"How DARE you?? You'll pay for that, Missy!" Doctor Robotnik yelled out in retaliation. His voice sounded odd to him, but he paid it no mind.

"Oh really? Because I believe that it's your time to cash the check, Ivo!!" Come to think of it, everything Ivo had heard since the woman's first attack had sounded off… And what was this warm liquid he felt dripping down the side of his cheek?

"Doctor! Your ear!" Stone suddenly cried out, bringing the dreadful answer to all of Ivo's questions.

"I recommend you leave here, Doctor! If not, the next body part you'll be losing…" Shadow pulled out a rifle as they spoke. "Will be your head!" It threatened.

"Yeah! You tell him! " Sendrir cheered.

With that, the busted up aircraft dashed off into the distance, Stone driving away as Ivo got assistance from the various robot servants on the small round ship.

"... Thanks for the help Mom. N-Not like I needed it or anything-!" Shadow spoke, amazed.

"I know you didn’t need it honey… but Mama wanted to teach that old Egg a lesson for messing with Little Planet!" Widow boasted, slinging her sword over her shoulder. "I'll let you make the finishing blow next time he comes around to play, okay…?"

"Sounds good to me, Mom!" Shadow responded, giggling.

"Damn Widow! I haven't seen ya go that hard in a battle since the 90s! " Sendrir proclaimed in shock.

"Shadow might be the leader of the Black Arms officially, but this old Queen hasn't stopped fighting for her people just yet!"

"That's the Widow I know and love so dearly…" Doom testified, which made Widow's face go delightfully warm.

"Hey, Mom, while you're here, look what Auntie Sen and Dad taught me today!"

----

The small cabin that stood before Amy and the Freedom Trainees looked like something out of a fantasy story, an old tale that a parent would softly read to their child just before bedtime. Though, within those sugar coated retellings, the dark implications still rest within. That evil darkness that Amy desperately tried to block out crept down her spine in an awful chill, but she simply shook it off. Today was not to be ruined by even a consideration towards those monsters! Today is a vacation from it all, and nothing would interrupt it!

"Uhm.. Amy.. A-are you just gonna keep staring off into space, or are you gonna come inside..?" Whisper hesitantly asked, which made Amy realize she had unintentionally become lost in her thoughts.

"Oh! Yeah yeah, my bad!" Amy immediately responded as if nothing was wrong. But Tsunami knew different. Her spirit softly laid itself upon Amy's hand, which made it feel cold, like if it was placed into a bucket of ice. "Ah-! That was freezing!!"

"Sorry… But… You know I could overhear that trail of thoughts you were having, right…? " Tsunami said.

"Oh yeah… the whole um… hivemind or whatever. Right."

"I can tell that the last week has been really scary for you, Amy…"

"... Yeah, it has. But that's no excuse to stand around and sulk! There's a whole new day waiting for us!" Amy marched inside Vanilla's house without another word, but Tsunami had a sneaking suspicion that her daughter was hurting more than she was letting on. Regardless, she sighed and followed behind Amy.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑆𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐵𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑦 (𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎) 𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚂𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚠𝚊 (𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣)× 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝙵𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎)

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝚂𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚂𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟸.𝟹𝙺

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚋 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔, 𝚂𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚠𝚊 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎..... 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚊 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙.

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙾𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚡 (𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐), 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚊, 𝚞𝚗𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚎�� (𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗), 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐/𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚔, 𝚂𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝙳𝚘𝚖! 𝚂𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚠𝚊 × 𝚂𝚞𝚋! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛.

Tags: @galaxteez @park-chalymars @queenofgames

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Adjusting the glasses that framed his face, the dirty blonde male carefully wiped the kitchen counter, making sure it was perfectly sanitized and free from any form of dust. Not forgetting to swipe the lint roller across the surface, he was so focused on his task that he slightly jumped when he heard the door open, then realized it was just his significant other coming back from her shift. Glancing over at the clock, he found it unusual for her to be coming back at this hour as it was rather late and her shift should have ended hours ago.

Grabbing the Lysol can, he went over to the front door where she was in the process of taking off her shoes and coat, dropping them onto the floor which particularly annoyed him. Standing next to her, he began to pick up her things and place them either on the rack specifically for their shoes or hanging them inside the closet.

"Seonghwa! What the fuck!?" His lover protested and swatted her hands at him when he proceeds to spray her with his aerosal disinfectant.

"We're still in the middle of a pandemic Y/N and I'm not taking chances." He justified himself.

Furiously ripping the mask off her face, she yanked the can off his fingers and threw it on the floor.

"Look! Just this once can you not pester me with your OCD habits?! I'm not in a good mood and I just want to be left alone!"

He stepped aside when she pushed past him and headed straight into her room, shutting the door rather harshly. He didn't budge an eye at her behaviour, he knew how stressing her job was, especially with a boss like hers. Sighing softly, he picked up the Lysol can and sprayed her shoes and coat before going back into the kitchen. He re-began his usual task of running his trusty lint roller all over the already clean and sanitized surfaces. When most of the paper came back with barely any brown spots his face lit up.

Picking up his little catty that held his cleaning supplies, he moved into the living room where he stopped in his tracks when he saw his girlfriend laying on the couch, wearing nothing but a white tank top and a pair of white cotton panties. He rolled his eyes and pondered how he was supposed to clean in the living room without waking her up. He didn't have the heart to place her back in her room since one, she was worn out and two, her room's air conditioning was still broken and it was a particularly hot day.

He opted to just clean around her as quietly as possible, not moving any furniture around so it wouldn't disturb her slumber. After finishing wiping off some of the dirt and grime, he grabbed a clean rag and began using furniture polish to make the wood shine more than it already was. He felt really proud when he could actually see his own reflection on it.

He started to pick up the various pictures they kept on the coffee table to wipe them off when he heard Y/N stir in her sleep behind him. He didn't really pay attention, much too focused on his task at hand and used to his girlfriend's sleeping antics. All was still for a few minutes, until she once again shifted in her sleep, only this time she released a sound that definitely startled him, making him drop the frame onto the coffee table. He semi kept it from making too much noise, cringing as he heard Y/N move even more, afraid he might have woken her up.

"Hwa...."

He whipped his head around, body turning with it as he questioned whether he was hearing things right or not. Scooting closer to her, Seonghwa looked down and noticed tiny sweat beads on her hairline, eyes scrunched together in frustration, nails scratching at the leather cushion she had her head rested on, hips slightly grinding against the couch underneath her. And to top it all off, she began emitting muffled moans, he was sure of it, knowing fully well what they sounded like.

Standing up, Seonghwa moved to sit behind her. Feeling the weight shift underneath her, Y/N unconsciously let one of her legs dangle off the couch, giving Seonghwa a perfect glimpse at the wet stain that was forming in her panties.

"Fuck.......you get wet dreams?"

He couldn't resist the urge to swipe his tongue across his lips as he stared at her core. Sucking in a breath, he got up and went back to his task of cleaning up, trying to think of anything to help calm down the boner that he was growing inside his sweatpants. He seemed to be doing a pretty good job at it.......

"Seonghwa...."

Dropping the rag onto the floor, Seonghwa pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Please don't do this to me. I can't..."

He let out a grunt when he saw just how big the tent in between his legs was. He took slow and deep breaths, hoping to cool himself down. He could not and would not wake up his exhausted girlfriend just because he felt the need to fuck her brains out. But as he heard her moans turn to whimpers and frustrated groans, he found his resolve weakening. He got back up and sat behind her again, watching her slow movements. He outstretched his hand and let it rest on top of her ass, his fingers eventually digging into her soft and tender skin, the wet patch in her panties becoming bigger and more soaked.

Quickly untying the drawstring, Seonghwa slipped his hand inside his pants, pumping himself slowly as he drew his hand in between her legs, one finger poking at her wet patch. He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips when he felt her press back into his touch.

"Always responsive to my touch, aren't you my little bunny?"

Pushing her panties aside, he easily slipped one finger inside, wiggling it around experimentally. Seonghwa let out a proud smirk when she was still responding to his advances, her walls stretching out to accommodate the next two fingers he pushed inside her.

"So tight......so warm........"

He kept slowly pumping his fingers in and out of her, loving the way her walls clenched around his fingers. Wanting to test something out, he slipped his fingers completely out of her. Instantly, her lips pouted and she let out what sounded like a whine as her body moved further back, no doubt trying to find his hand once again. Seonghwa shook his head in a mocking manner.

"Always such a needy bunny."

Unable to resist anymore, he adjusts himself to lay down behind her and brought his face down near her back. Starting from her lower back, he began to place tiny open mouth kisses along her curves and trailed them down to her ass cheeks, where he began squishing them in his palms. Taking a hold of her panties, he slowly peeled them off her body and down her legs, effectively ridding her of the confining garment. His hands went back to her ass, lifting her up slightly. He bit his lip when he spread her folds, nearly drooling at the sight of her wet and delicious pussy.

Diving right in, he poked his tongue out, swiping it all up her slit. He felt her body shiver at the contact, but he remained undeterred. He just continued by swirling his tongue around her wet hole before sliding it in and out of her, occasionally latching his lips on her clit to give her a generous suck that had her whining. Somewhere along the way, Seonghwa became lost in her taste. Not longer paying attention to his surroundings, he just buried his face more into her heat, eating her out with a passionate and desperate hunger, unable to get enough of her. He was so distracted he didn't even notice that the girl had been woken up, her eyelids fluttering open and gasping softly as they looked at the scene taking place behind her.

"Seonghwa..."

Her hand reached out to stroke his hair, making his eyes shoot up and see her lustful gaze.

"Hey sleeping beauty." He giggled as he detached himself from her core, but not before giving her one last suck, emitting loud slurping sound.

"H-Hwa!" She called out at him, confused at what was going on as she still hadn't fully awoken yet.

Sitting up, he hovered his body on top of hers, hands cupping her jaw as he kissed her tenderly, remnants of her juices now being tossed into her mouth.

"You're so pretty, so tempting....couldn't hold myself back. You just looked so gorgeous." He justified his actions yet she was not complaining, except for one tiny thing.

"Seonghwa-" She begged him, hand reaching in between his legs to cup his boner.

Knowing what she was hinting at, he pulled away and began turning her back onto all fours.

"Don't worry bunny, I haven't forgotten that you haven't came yet."

His fingers took hold of the hem of her tank top, lifting it over her head and tossing it somewhere on the floor. His pants and underwear soon followed suit and ended discarded around the room. He guided her so she could rest her head and hands on the armrest.

"Just relax and leave it all to me babygirl."

Pressing a hand down on her back, he lined himself up and slowly began to push himself in, earning quite a few gasps and moans from both of them. He began a slow and steady pace, wanting her to feel every vein and ridge against her walls, not wanting to go harsh at all since she was still pretty tired. He opted for more sensual and deep strokes so he could hit against that spot that would have her crying out for him soon.

"You look so pretty my little bunny. You're taking me so well my little one."

She couldn't help but clench at his words, loving his pet name for her and the praises he was giving her.

"Fuck! Yes bunny- clench around me like that. God you feel amazing."

He moved his hands to cup her breasts, being gentle as he squeezed them and bounced them on his palms, fingers occasionally pinching and playing with her nipples.

Y/N released tiny pants and breaths, her ass pushing back against him whenever he pulled out of her. She loved her boyfriend's cock so much. It was long and girthy and best of all, he knew exactly how to angle his hips so he'd leave her seeing stars every time she came.

"You like that my dear? Like how my cock feels inside your little hole?"

She let out a shudder when his hand move to wrap around her waist, fingers caressing her lower stomach. He hummed softly as he ran his fingers across her tummy.

"Baby..?" She could hear his mischievous tone that was up to something.

Leaning in, he whispered in her ear.

"Let me cum inside you this time....."

She looked back at him with a puzzled look, however he was calm as he continued rolling his hips slowly against hers. He bent down to kiss her softly.

"Wanna fuck my baby in you."

She pulled away from the kiss to moan.

"S-Seonghwa-" She couldn't believe his words.

"Please my little bunny. Think about how insanely cute you'll look with a swollen belly.......carrying our little bundle of joy."

She clenched involuntarily at his words, nearly cumming right then and there. Seonghwa began thrusting a little harder against her.

"Fuck! You'll be so pretty with all the extra weight and bigger breasts- shit! Baby I'm gonna cum soon-please!"

He was erratic by now, begging her in earnest as he continued to fuck her pussy. Hearing his desperate pleas, Y/N gripped onto the armrest as she began cumming all over him.

"Seonghwa! Just- cum inside me!" She cried out.

Letting out a harsh grunt, Seonghwa began shaking as he spilled himself inside her, making sure to fill her up as much as he could, not stopping his movements until her tight walls milked him dry of all his hot cum. Y/N's face stayed hidden on the couch, face flushed and sweaty from all that just happened. She hissed slightly when she felt Seonghwa pull out of her. His finger worked quick to catch the cum leaking out a her, pushing it back inside and ensuring it wouldn't come out again. Turning her over, he brushed some of the hair away from her face, an adoring smile on his face.

"Seonghwa......what if...what if I do get pregnant?" Although it was in the spur of the moment, she wasn't completely sure if he meant it or not.

"Then I'll be the happiest man alive."

His answer shocked her, and he snores at her reaction.

"You're seriously hoping I get p-pregnant?" She raised an eyebrow and then looked down, unsure of how to feel.

Sensing her apprehension, Seonghwa pulled her up so it'd be easier to hug her.

"Listen honey, I'm serious about this. I want to start a family with you. Yes we're both young, but I think we're perfectly capable of raising a child. And don't worry..."

He kissed her forehead before whispering.

"I'll take care of you."

Y/N softened up at his words, unable to suppress the shy smile that was beginning to form on her lips.

"Well....I always did want a little girl.." She admitted.

Seonghwa beamed enthusiastically.

"So if I did get you pregnant-"

"Hold on Hwa, you're getting ahead of yourself. You forgot I'm on the pill so chances are that I'm not pregnant." She giggled.

Letting out a huff, Seonghwa picked his girlfriend up and started heading towards the bedroom.

"Ok from now on, stop taking the birth control and right now relax..."

She let out a squeak when he dropped her onto his bed and crawled on top of her, his eyes full of determination accompanied by a sly smirk on his lips.

"Cause we're trying this again..."