#and it immediately bit him in the back because its part of the reason jarvis is constantly trying to kill him :)

[hershelwidget]

Shellington and Peso made the Pink Sauce and it was so horrible Barnacles had to ban them from working together on their own. The Pink Sauce is now the world’s deadliest poison and it is capable of affecting even the Grim Reaper himself.

…

In other words writing the actual Octonauts for this AU is the FUNNIEST thing ever

[kimannhart]

Here is part two to THIS ficlet I wrote a couple of days ago. Though, this can be read as a stand alone fic. 

Also, I’ll most likely be posting this fic in its entirety on ao3 once I figure out a title. So if you haven’t read the first part and wanna wait, keep ya eyes on my ao3 for it!

mentions of injury cw

~~

It’s been about four months since Tony’s last stunt in the hospital, and ever since then, neither Bucky nor Sam have left his side. And to be quite frank, it was driving Tony insane. He hasn’t had a single moment alone, anytime he had to use the restroom, one of the men would be hanging outside the door. If Tony had a business meeting at SI, Bucky would always be lurking nearby. In their most recent battle, both men disregarded Steve’s orders and decided to fight nearby Tony. The only reason Tony hasn’t snapped at the two to leave him alone yet is because he was hanging onto the hope that he would be traveling alone for SI business overseas. (He had ordered JARVIS to keep his AI mouth shut about it. And Tony didn’t even have to beg Steve to keep quiet about his future travels. Instead Steve just looked at him with pity and nodded that he wouldn’t say a word to Bucky or Sam.)

So, here Tony was now, quickly trying to pack the bare minimum before Bucky and Sam came back home from their forced date night. Sharon, bless her soul, acted as his savior for his getaway and told Bucky and Sam to go out on a date to give Tony some peace. To which the two refused to go on at first, but quickly agreed before Sharon threatened to call her soulmate, Pepper. Not wanting to face the scolding of Pepper, the two men easily backed down and said they’d be back within an hour. 

As soon as Tony was done, he hopped into the car with Happy and made his way to the airport. The moment that the plane was in the air, Tony finally was able to relax. He was finally free from the watchful eyes of Bucky and Sam.

Tony absently starts to rub against the right side of his chest, the spot where his soul mark—a snake wrapping itself amongst a small bouquet of gladiolus and proteas—laid against his skin. A part of him knew that he should admit to Bucky and Sam that he was their third soulmate, but those dark thoughts always prevent him from doing so. Tony sighs to himself and decides to focus on SI business instead.

Once Tony reaches his hotel, he finally checks his phone and is bombarded with a swarm of texts, with most of them coming from Bucky and Sam, which isn’t surprising at all, wondering where he went, why he didn’t say anything, when he’s coming back, and just more questions. Though, instead of answering the questions, Tony makes the decision of turning off his phone and shoves it into one of the drawers in his hotel room. 

~~

The days went by and Tony was genuinely surprised that neither Bucky or Sam decided to hop onto a plane to where he was. But he assumes the reason they hadn’t is because the rest of their friends had convinced them not to go. Well, whatever the reason, Tony was just grateful to roam around by himself.

Tony was currently walking towards some cafe to grab himself a pastry when all of a sudden he hears piercing screams. Quickly, he dashes towards the screams and is greeted to a man dressed to the nines that is terrorizing citizens.

“I couldn’t have one week of peace?” Tony mutters to himself. He jumps into the action. Though, it wasn’t long before he felt pain and succumbed to the darkness.

~~

Tony slowly awakes and silently internally to himself when he realizes he’s back in the hospital. He feels someone nudge a spoon at his mouth and obediently opens, instantly grateful for the cool ice chips that melt in his mouth. Tony opens his eyes and is met with Steve’s worried face. 

“Couldn’t keep yourself out of trouble, could you Shellhead?”

“Wouldn’t be me if I did, Winghead.” Tony looks around his room, a bit surprised that he wasn’t greeted to Bucky or Sam’s faces. 

“They’re in the waiting room,” Steve answers, knowing what Tony was about to ask. “They’re, uh, a bit angry at you at the moment.” 

Angry? What could the two be angry at him about? For landing himself in the hospital again?

“Do you remember how you ended up here Tony?”

“I was fighting some guy, right?”

Steve nods. “But what you didn’t know was that he has some powers. He managed to stab the left side of your chest pretty badly with one small motion of his fingers before getting away.” Steve stops for a moment, debating with himself if he should tell Tony what he and the rest of the world saw.

“Tell me, Steve,” Tony presses, “What else happened?”

Steve gives Tony an apologetic look before continuing. “Someone tried helping you, you know to try to get the bleeding to stop. But they had to rip up your shirt...”

Tony starts to panic, not liking where Steve is going with this.

“... they exposed your soul mark, Tony. Someone managed to take a photo of it and post it on social media. JARVIS managed to get it down quickly, but it was too late. Gossip sites had already took screenshots and started writing up stories, which Pepper and the rest of our PR team is completely furious about.” Steve stops talking, letting Tony come to terms with what happened. “I’m sorry, Tony,” he adds in while giving his hand a comforting squeeze.

Tony waits a few moments before finally asking, “So, they know?”

“They know.”

“Fuck.”

~~

The following day, Sam and Bucky walked into Tony’s room and sat themselves down in the chairs next to his bed and stared. 

“Hi, boys.” 

“Were you ever going to tell us?” Sam asks, getting straight to the point.

Tony looks down and shakes his head. 

“Why?” Bucky’s voice cracks. “Are we, are we not good enough for you? Is our mark that shameful to you?”

“No, no, no, no,” Tony quickly replies. “It’s me who’s not good enough for either of you!” Before either men could respond back, Tony starts to explain. “It’s just, you two are just so amazing, strong, and undoubtedly the most courageous people I’ve ever met. And I know I’m none of that!” He hesitantly points to his head, “I just, I have these thoughts...”

“What kind of thoughts?” Sam softly asks. “Are they bad ones?” he presses when Tony doesn’t answer.

Tony nods before finally breaking down the walls he put around his soul and lets the tears fall.

The three men spend the rest of the night talking and understanding one another. By the end of the conversation, Tony promises to finally see a therapist and to see a psychiatrist to see if he wants to put onto antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication. While Bucky and Sam made promises to be there for Tony and when to back off to give him alone time. The three of them also decided to see a group therapist together in order to help them communicate and understand the changes in their relationship.

~~

THREE YEARS LATER

Tony groans when he hears Bucky open the curtains to let in the sunlight. He turns and hides his face in Sam’s side. “Clos’ the ‘urtains, babe.”

“Nope, you both promised me a morning hike to celebrate our new freedom from the job, and that’s what we’re doing today!” Bucky lightly smacks both his soulmates on their respective asses before pulling the blanket and sheets off of them. “Up! Up! Up!”

“Fuck off.” Sam lazily throws a pillow at Bucky’s face. “We’re retired now, we can hike tomorrow.” 

“What Sam said.”

Bucky raises a brow before getting an idea. “If the two of you get up now, we can have some kinky outdoor sex on the top of a mountain.”

At the mention of sex, Sam and Tony immediately get out of bed.  

“That always works,” Bucky chuckles. “I love you both!” he shouts out as he starts to make their bed, smiling when he hears Tony and Sam shout it back.

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.20

Feel You Closer

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)  x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader      Word count: 3900

Summary: You remember. It’s time you reacquainted with your soulmate.

That’s what you should do, right? Just feel him as close to you as possible.

Warnings: swearing, 18+, nsfw, very light D/s, so much fluff

A/N: Yeah, there’s minimum plot (a bit at the beginning, read that if you want to avoid the explicit chapter and still want to understand what stunt ‘Nat’ will pull next chapter)

A/N 2: Me: I’m not a smut writer. Also me: two last fics/chapters posted on tumblr being explicit. Oops.

Story masterlist ༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

You walked to the room hand in hand, unseen and unheard. Besides Jarvis, of course, but you didn’t even count him anymore. After the many times you had stayed in the Tower, you grew even fond of him. He really was programmed to be sassy, just like his creator, and sass was a language you spoke.

The idea hit you with the snap of the door and you instantly burst into giggles. Steve casted a curious, but warm gaze at your schoolgirl-like fit.

“Tony doesn’t know,” you explained, only to see no understanding dawning on Steve’s face. “He doesn’t know I remember. I have a very strong need to mess with him, even though we had a nice talk.”

“…you had a nice talk?” Steve asked, bewildered. Looking back at it, you were a bit surprised too – but then again, you weren’t. Tony was much more than he let on.

“Uh-uh. Yeah. I asked him about me. About us.”

A shadow of hurt fell on Steve’s face and you realized what it looked like, you seeking another man.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you!” you blurted out immediately, seeing clearly that it didn’t convince him. “I just wanted a different opinion on me. You’re a bit… biased.”

The frown on his face smoothened, the pool of sadness in his eyes gradually vanishing. Instead, his brows lifted along with one corner of his lips.

“Biased?”

“Yep. You were all waxing poetic about me, how amazing I was. I wanted a second opinion, because I knew for sure I… wasn’t… that… that perfect,” you trailed off as Steve’s smile grew wider and wider with each word. “What?”

“And you decided to go to Tony of all people?”

You were surprised by that question. Steve was usually more the one to dwell on you actually being amazing and astounding and stuff, fast to assure you when he spotted only a trace of self-consciousness on you. Not today, apparently, as he focused on the fact you went to the child of a man in the flying suit. You grinned, not minding a bit.

“…that’s fair. But cut me some slack, he looked like he’d be the one to speak openly.”

Steve gave a short laugh, amused twinkle in his eyes. The change in him ever since he had learned you remembered was so stark you couldn’t tear you gaze away. It was mesmerizing – now, his smiles and laughter radiated true happiness.

“That I can’t argue with. Now, what kind of messing around are we talking about?”

At that, you smirked. “Your clothes. I wanna wear your clothes and I need Jarvis to tell me exactly what comment Tony and Clint made when I first entered the kitchen wearing your stuff.”

You might have had more than one goal when saying this. It wasn’t just to cause Tony a fit later… you might want to nudge Steve’s fantasy, knowing all too well what his clothes on you symbolized and how much he enjoyed you wearing them despite denying it till his last breath.

His eyes did grow rounder, much to your satisfaction. You bit your lip, attempting to hide the smirk battling to show on your face for a whole different reason now.

“Maybe throw a bit of foul language in?” you continued and Steve closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. “Just imagine his face – me, walking in, him wanting to comment and me encouraging him, talking about how I actually got thoroughly fucked the previous evening.”

“Every time,” Steve grunted and you tilted your head in wonder, the grin wining the fight and finding its way on your face.

“Mm?”

Steve’s eyes snapped open, black as night, his irises barely visible. Ohhh, this was even better than you had imagined.

“Every time I think I know just how much trouble you are…” he rasped, taking a step closer, forcing you to walk backwards, your back hitting the door after only two steps, effectively trapping you between his frame and the hard surface, an inch between your bodies remaining.

Your breathing ragged as if on command, heart speeding up in anticipation. Steve’s hands rose, palms resting by your head at each side, his face leaning to yours. Your teeth released your lower lip in order to wet it with your tongue, drawing Steve’s gaze like a magnet. Your breath hitched when his lips stayed so painfully close you could feel the heat but didn’t touch, your eyes fluttering close at the sensation. God, your belly was already burning.

“…you always prove me wrong…” he hummed, brushing your lips with his own. You nearly whined when he parted almost instantly and you intended to follow, only for Steve to have your hair trapped in one of his hands to make sure you stayed put. That simple gesture caused your underwear to dampen. “Talking like that when you’re injured and you know nothing can happen.”

His mouth moved to shower your chin and throat with attention, torturously light touches, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Your knees buckled, Steve’s hand quick to catch you, squeezing you between his body and the door to keep you upright.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. You can barely stand. I wouldn’t want to hurt you,” he mumbled to your throat, but honestly, he didn’t sound convincing in the slightest. More like—more like the opposite actually. He even sounded… demanding?

Did he really start a game now? A little role-play? That’s new.

“But… but I was cleared to leave medical,” you whispered, testing the waters, earning a satisfied grunt.

Oh god, this was happening. There had been glimpses of this before, the dominance; you were pretty sure Steve enjoyed it mostly because of how underestimated he had been before the serum, but the reason didn’t quite matter. It was important that he liked it and you never minded when it showed a little. Now though… oh boy.

“That’s true,” he mused, tickling the side of your neck with his warm breath. “And I was left to take care of you… in charge of your treatment. What only will I do with you, doll?”

Powerplay. This was a powerplay and given how much you trusted Steve, knowing he wouldn’t actually hurt you when playing, you were totally on board.  

The pool of wetness on your underwear only confirmed it.

Steve’s hand urged you to answer, squeezing your hip. Your whole body tingled, a tiny whimper escaping you.

You just needed him close now. With all the madness that had happened, there was nothing you needed more than to feel his body on yours, his hands, his lips, his everything, just to know you two were.

“Anything you want,” you breathed and Steve’s hips thrust forward, deliciously adding friction between your bodies. He was hard as rock and you had a pretty good idea what would make him even harder. You were saving it for now… soon, though.

He raised his head, facing you again, his hand releasing your hair in order to run the pad of his thumb over your lower lip, watching the motion as if hypnotized.

“Anything, you say? That’s quite daring, doll…”

This was it. This was the time.

You peeked at him from under your eyelashes as your tongue kitten-licked his thumb. He didn’t even flinch, but you knew he would at your next words.

“Anything, sir.”

It was his turn to whimper, his hips bucking again, his mouth smacking to yours, both of his hands falling to your waist.

“God, I missed you so much, all of you. Are you sure you’re okay?” he whispered urgently before devouring your mouth again, nearly breathing you in with the vigour. “Tell me and I stop.”

You grabbed his shoulders, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

“I missed you too. And yes. All yours… sir.”

“Christ, woman!”

His palms took handfuls of your backside firmly and your giddy giggle got lost in the moan you both let out, swallowed by the other, your hips moving in synch.

Out of blue, he grabbed your wrists, pinning them to your sides, the display of strength once again sending a thrill through your body.

“Keep them here until I give you the permission to move, okay?” he ordered, the low timbre of his voice striking something right inside your core.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what, doll?” he coaxed, voice deliciously dark.

Oh wow, just wow. You were pretty sure your core just started throbbing.

“Yes, sir.”  

“That’s right,” he praised, taking your mouth again, wordlessly asking for access, though more demanding than usual. You parted your lips, welcoming his tongue as he swept it along your teeth and then met yours.

The order he had given you was way harder than you anticipated; keeping your hands to yourself while his own roamed your body, guiding your hips to meet his for more friction and making your body feel like floating in a sea of pleasure, cupping your breasts… his mouth was taking yours as if his life depended on it, breathing you in and nibbling, retreating only to suck at your neck just when you wanted him, needed him kissing you on your lips… it was the sweetest torture. You craved for his mouth and all you had to do was to touch him and pull him back to you.

But you weren’t allowed.

“Hands up,” he hissed, already tugging at your shirt before you registered what he asked you to do. Your body obeyed automatically, but with delay. Steve didn’t seem to mind, his skilful fingers finding the opening of your bra instead of simply waiting. Before you knew it, your torso was bare, your chest peppered with kisses and a mark sucked under your collarbone.

“Steve…” escaped your lips, your hands twitching, refusing to return to your sides, finding his muscles instead.

He hummed discontentedly, guiding them back to stay along the wall. You couldn’t but whine.

“Please.”

“Please what?” he whispered to your skin and you nearly banged the back of your head against the wall, stopping the last half-inch away. You had hit your head, after all.

“Please, sir. Can I…” Your own breathy moan interrupted your plea when he licked at your nipple. Christ, Steve. “Can I touch you?”

“Mmm…” he hummed, the vibration making the worst and the best things to your brain. You were completely at his mercy and you didn’t even care. Hell, you were enjoying it, but God, you needed to feel his body under your hands. “Not yet.”

The mewl that left your lips was borderline embarrassing, more so since Steve’s mouth left your breast and soothed you with a sweet and dirty kiss, your tongues tangling together.

“Just a little longer. Let me appreciate you, doll. You’re so, so pretty…”

His hot breath, soft lips and a dart of a tongue trailed down your front, one of his hand easily slipping under the hem of your jeans, while the other already worked on the button and tugged them to your knees. He kneeled, glancing up at you with a wicked smile as he stripped them completely with only a little help.

Steve guided your left leg over his shoulder and this time the noise you made was utterly embarrassing, a blend of a squeak, a moan and a whimper and Jesus fucking Christ. He didn’t even get his mouth on you, just the anticipation enough to flood your core. You knew how good he was at that and just the thought-

“Oh, doll, you’re soaking…”

Something in you wanted to snark that yes, you noticed, but another voice, the one that was ridiculously enjoying this game, shut the urge up and whispered another words for you to say.

“Y-yes, sir. Because of you,” your voice trembled slightly and when he looked up at you from his filthy position again, lop-sided smirk on his handsome and usually so innocent face, you were done for.

His finger ran up your slit, making you flinch and bite your lip.

“And just what should I do about it, mm…” he kissed your inner thigh, giving you a very good idea as if you hadn’t had one before. “Would you like me to take care of it? Use my tongue?”

He. Was. So. Fucking. Filthy. And. Mouthy.

And you should feel humiliated at responding him, but you didn’t. You loved it.

“Please… sir,” you breathed out, which gained you another kiss, higher this time, just below the waistline of your panties, one finger looping in them; a sharp tug and they were gone, making you gasp.

“Since you said ‘please’… but you’re gotta watch, doll, alright?”

You gulped. You weren’t sure you were able to do that. You’d come in seconds.

Still, you nodded.

“Speak up, my sweet girl...”

“Yes, sir.”

The first lap of his tongue caused your fists to clench with the need to hold onto something. Anything. His hair looked suitable enough, just like his free shoulder. You chewed on your lower lip.

As if hearing your thoughts, he led your hands to hold onto him. It was bliss – and a freaking reassurance, because you really didn’t want to fall. Not that he would ever let you, but better be sure.

You could barely stand and you couldn’t stand it. The sight of Steve devouring you like this, bringing indescribable pleasure tingling in every cell of your body with his clever tongue was too much. He didn’t even need to use his fingers, finding spots to drive you insane just by licking at them.

You came with a breathy cry, your pulse loud in your ears and with your legs getting wobbly at instant; you were lucky he held you so firmly. He sucked on your clit, sending shocks through your already overwhelmed body, forcing you to moan his name and arch your back. He worked you through it, alternating between praises and soothing your weepy core, slowly driving you down.

You couldn’t fucking speak. Your eyes snapped open when he shifted, lowering your leg back to the ground, placing a kiss under your navel.

“You good?” he rasped and it took a lot of effort to actually reply instead of simply nodding.

“Yes.” He waited. Right. “Sir.”

His big palms caressed your hips, kissing the skin there.

“Feel like returning the favour, doll?” he asked, voice sultry as much as his gaze.

He would have looked innocent, peeking at you from under his eyelashes like that, but his blown irises gave his arousal away. And you knew better than that, very well-aware of where is mouth had just been.

“Be a good girl like that?” he added, causing the air catch in your throat despite your breathing raging.

How was such praise striking something in you, making you want to do anything just to hear it again? Was this just him or did you have a kink you hadn’t been aware of?

It didn’t matter now. You needed to turn off your brain and enjoy this fully.

“If-if that’s what you want, sir,” you stuttered, his forehead resting against your abdomen at the statement. It brought a satisfied smile to your face – perhaps you weren’t the only one who was a little overwhelmed. You stroked his scalp gently. “Anything to please you.”

He let out a choked noise, rising to his feet at instant, his mouth catching yours in a sweet and salty kiss, his unmistakable jeans-cladded hard rocking into your heat.

“Mouthy, aren’t you? Get on your knees, doll,” he ordered as he spun you, suddenly him being the one with his back against the wall.

You obediently slid down and he lost the shirt that was crying for help on his muscled body anyway. It was a mouth-watering sight even from down there. You wordlessly asked for permission to undo his belt, having it granted. You released him from both, his pants and boxers, his erection springing free. Shit, you almost forgot how big he was.

Steve’s hand tenderly slipped into your hair, guiding you to look up. You were surprised when you saw the fraction of concern in his eyes, a question perhaps, breaking the character he had seemed to slide into rather easily.

The pool of warmth in your chest at the gesture was as unexpected as the act itself. Was it strange, perhaps cowardly of you, that you loved he kept checking with you just to make sure that everything he did was alright with you? Did it make you unadventurous and boring that the fact he showed you every now and then that you could trust him completely, was the biggest turn-on of all?

You smiled at him shyly, the simple lift of the corners of your lips reciprocated instantly. The pad of his thumb swept over your lower lip, sending a shiver down your spine.

‘Anything to please you,’ your own words echoed in your head, resonating with truth. You loved him. You did want to make him happy so badly, as much as you knew he wanted you to be.

You kissed the tip of his member, soon taking him between your lips. His hand never released your hair, though his eyelids fluttered shut, shameless moan of satisfaction escaping him. It only encouraged you.

Steve wouldn’t let you finish him and what an early finish would it have been. He pulled your head away, tugging you upright and locking your mouths in a kiss as his hand did the job for you. You would have been confused and maybe even hurt by that action, but you knew him. You knew that no matter what game he was playing, he needed to be certain you would be alright.

“Didn’t want you to strain yourself,” he breathed into your mouth, his voice trembling with aftershock, sucking gently on your lips, his arm wrapped around your waist securely to hold you close with little care for how sticky you both were now thanks to his release.

“I know,” you whispered back, meeting his gaze in a haze, the affection for you written all over his face hitting you like a train. “I love you.”

“And I love you. More than you’ll ever know.”

A teasing smile tucked at the corner of your lips. “Show me? Please, sir?”

He choked out a laugh, his hold getting stronger on you, something poking your stomach as it came back to life.

“Troublemaker, doll. That’s what you are,” he hummed, grinning with a delicious mixture of sweet and intense, like dark chocolate. His not so clean hand cupped your bottom and one of his long fingers teased around your still dripping core. His nose nuzzled your hair, his lips brushing your earlobe with a filthy whisper. “I might have to fuck that cheekiness out of you.”

You gulped at that promise delivered in such foul language, your heart pounding in your chest right against his. Yes, please. It might help with the headache that was slowly beginning to bother you once more.

“Looking forward to it… sir.”

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Steve clearly felt adventurous, indulging the dominance and the power he held and you gladly let him, knowing the reward would – uh – come in the end. You lost count on how many times he brought you to the very edge only to let you descend again, never letting you tip over and fall. The orgasm that followed when he finally did, your walls clenching around him like a vice, was something you had never experienced before and that said something, considering Steve had been your lover for some time now. It felt like sparkles exploded in every single cell of your body, pounding with never-ending bliss, his cock throbbing in you and sending another flare through your body like in a vicious circle.

Apparently, you had been in Heaven once – and right now, Steve surely gave you a taste of what was it like, because there could not be another explanation. The afterglow was so warm and wonderful you basked in it for God knew how long.

When you finally came back to yourself, Steve’s fingers were tenderly threading in your hair, his lips on your temple. Your eyes fluttered open, causing him to stop and search your face with attentive eyes as he kept himself propped on his elbow.

“Hey, doll, are you okay?” he fussed softly, his breathing back to normal. He was still sporting an adorable flush down his face and chest, an evidence of the effort made and the satisfaction that followed.

“Yeah. This was… wow.”

“Yeah?” he grinned, wounding up a strand of your hair around his finger. His eyes were sparkling and you kinda wanted to slap his chest for the flash of smugness. Instead, you slapped him verbally and very much playfully.

“Yes, sir,” you returned the wide smile and he huffed, falling to your side. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ugh, don’t start again.”

“I’d like to start again… some other time,” you admitted, hopeful your face was still flushed from before, hence not giving away the embarrassment at your admission. “I liked this.”

Steve embraced you firmly, kissing your shoulder. “So did I… maybe too much. You’re sure I didn’t hurt you?”

“Nope. Not at all,” you replied cheerily, casting a reassuring gaze aimed straight to his eyes as your voice softened. “You’re always careful, Steve, I know that. And I appreciate it.”

“Alright, then. Let’s revisit this sometime. You’re amazing, doll,” he whispered your favourite endearment like music on his lips. “ I love you. I can’t—I can’t even say how happy I am to have you here. Back with me. Stay?”

The sudden vulnerability almost made your heart stop with the ache, the agony he must have experienced after losing you – but how amazing it actually was, mean of you maybe, but God, he had missed you so much, because he loved you so deeply already – striking you precisely to your very soul. You were right there with him when it came to feelings.

It dawned to you why he would enjoy the feeling of dominance now of all the times you had made love – it gave him an illusion of control over something. What had happened to you, the kidnapping, the bombs, your death… he didn’t have control over that. When the Winchesters had brought you back, there weren’t many things he could do about your amnesia either, leaving him helpless. You had a hunch he felt like having zero control over things for a while now.

This, this incredible experience gave him what he had been craving. You couldn’t fault him for wanting that, more so when you enjoyed it so immensely. After all, both of you were only human in the end.

Only humans. Soulmates. Souls redefined, never the same after merging into one, yet maintaining their singularity. Still better together, gravitating one towards the other too strongly to be kept apart.

You stretched your neck so your lips could reach Steve’s forehead, a loving and caring gesture, comfort he often offered you. The action made him chuckle, an unusual watery sound as tears welled in his eyes as well as in yours.

You lingered for several moments, your eyes finding his then, fond glassy gaze with emotions too heavy to be carried only by one person. You were good at it together though. You softly kissed his lips and then wiggled against him, settling in his arms comfortably, trying to nestle against him in a way that wouldn’t leave an inch between your bodies – and Steve happily assisted you.

“I love you too, Steve. And there’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

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Part 21

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Well. Now I’m blushing. This was self-indulgent to a fault. 

Hope you liked it, this had been the first time I wrote something with hints of D/s (rememebr, only proofreadng and reposting ao3 chapters, this is almost a ear old), even when playful, so I pray I didn’t muff it up too much :)) I couldn’t leave the fluff behind, obviously.

Two chapters and an epilogue left. Thank you for making it this far and thank you even more if you’re interacting in an way :-*

[enchantedlokii]

Know Your Value

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: language

Characters: Edwin Jarvis, Ana Jarvis, Peggy Carter, Howard Stark, Maria Stark, Tony Stark, Daniel Sousa, Steve Rogers

Mentioned: Whitney Frost, Jason Wilkes, Rose Roberts, Aloysius Samberly, Joseph Rogers, Michael Carter, Bruce Banner, Loki Odinson, Natasha Romanoff, Nick Fury, Pepper Potts, Jack Thompson

When Edwin Jarvis first learned that his wife would never be able to have children, he had been devastated. He couldn’t understand what he had done to deserve this. What Ana had done to deserve this. She was never supposed to be injured at the hands of Whitney Frost. She was never supposed to be injured at all.

He only realized it was his own fault as he followed Peggy through the desert. The woman’s words hit him like a truck. He had almost lost the woman he loved because of his actions. Then, he thought it would make it better if he got revenge. Even if he died in the process. For years, he thought he would never forgive himself, but that forgiveness came when he learned that Howard’s wife, Maria, was pregnant.

As much as Edwin loved his friend, he knew that Howard wasn’t the fatherly type. He was rambunctious, inappropriate, and a bit crude at times. And he was a busy man. Especially now, with Stark Industries having reached its peak. He knew that this poor child would never have the father figure that he deserved. So he promised himself that he would do whatever he could to help this child once he was born.

Edwin and Ana didn’t meet Tony until the day that Howard and Maria brought him home, but they immediately fell in love with him. Ana had took him carefully and held him close to her chest, rocking him back and forth and humming a Hungarian lullaby. If it were possible, Edwin believed he fell in love with her all over again in that moment.

As he had expected, Edwin and Ana helped a lot with raising the boy. They could see early on that he didn’t have a good relationship with his father. While he and his mother were closer, Maria Stark was a busy woman and often had to leave him in their care. They never minded, of course, but it seemed to take a toll on Tony. Especially as he got older and was able to understand exactly what his life was.

But there was something special about the boy. They all knew he was smart. To be the son of Howard Stark, one would have to be a genius, but this was more than that. This child was on a whole other level.

“What are you working on?” Edwin asked as he walked into the common area. Tony, ten years old at this point, was sitting on the carpet with parts spread out around him. He didn’t look up as Edwin spoke, but did acknowledge his presence with a nod.

“Hey, Jarvis,” he started, focusing on his project. “I’m trying to. . . Get this. . . Woah!”

The boy pulled his head back as a bolt went flying through the air, landing a few inches away. He grinned and looked up at Edwin. “I found this old radio set in the garage and was trying to fix it, but it’s pretty rusty. I’m not sure I can get it to work.”

“Right, I—” Edwin was interrupted by the sound of a doorbell. Confused, he looked up. “I wonder who that might be.”

Edwin started towards the door, hearing footsteps behind him as Tony followed. He was surprised when he opened the door and saw a familiar face. “Hello, Mr. Jarvis. Sorry to arrive unannounced.”

“Why, Mrs. Carter,” Edwin replied, stepping to the side. “Come in, come in. It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it?”

“Indeed,” Peggy replied, dropping her bags at her feet. “I would have called, but I feared you might be busy. Daniel and I need a place to stay for a couple of weeks. You don’t suppose Howard would mind us crashing here?”

“Oh, not at all,” Edwin told her. “He will be glad to see you.”

Peggy smiled before her gaze lowered to look at Tony, who was watching her with a confused expression. “You must be Anthony,” she started, crouching down and holding out a hand to shake his. “You’ve grown since I saw you last.”

Tony hesitantly took the woman’s hand and gave it a small shake. “Don’t call me Anthony,” he told her.

“My apologies,” Peggy said quickly. “What would you like me to call you then?”

“Tony,” he said simply, taking his hand away. Edwin was a bit surprised by the stiff movements the boy was making. It was as if he didn’t want to see Peggy. He supposed that he would not remember the woman, it having been several years since they relocated to Malibu, but it was unlike him to be so detached.

“Well hello, Tony,” Peggy replied. “My name is Margaret, but you can call me Peggy. I’m a friend of your father’s.”

“I know,” he said harshly before turning to Edwin. “I’m going to work on my radio now.”

Before Edwin could stop him, Tony was already returning to his spot on the carpet. The man was going to apologize before he saw Daniel struggling to carry a bag in. “Oh, let me get that for you, Mr. Sousa.” He took the bag from the crutched man and nestled it in the corner to move later. “Come, we have a lot to catch up on.”

Peggy was perplexed by the way Howard’s child reacted to seeing her. The boy seemed to want nothing to do with her, trying to avoid her in any way he could. It confused her, honestly, and worried her a bit.

“Are you sure about this, Peggy?” Ana asked. “I can stay with him. I don’t mind.”

“It’s not a problem, Ana,” Peggy assured her, holding her friend close in a hug. “You and Mr. Jarvis deserve a break.”

“Oh, thanks, Peg,” Ana said, smiling a bit before pulling away.

The moment Edwin and Ana left, Peggy turned to look around the building. It had been years since she had been here, but it still felt like home to her. She was beyond grateful when Howard and Maria agreed that it was completely fine for her and Daniel to stay as long as they needed.

It felt like old times again. Especially when Howard had proposed that they invite Jason and Rose and Aloysius over for dinner one evening in the near future. It just felt right.

But a lot had changed over the years. Her and Daniel were married now. They had two children together; a twenty-four year old daughter and a twenty-one year old son. Rose and Aloysius were married, but they didn’t have any kids. They did have a cat, however. Jason never got married, but he was one of the top scientists at Stark Industries now.

Then there was Howard. Peggy never imagined Howard settling down. The whole time she knew him, he had bounced from woman to woman. There were only a select few he saw as more than a toy. But he had changed when he met Maria. They ended up married a few years later, and then they had Tony.

“Right. Where is that rascal?” Peggy asked herself, starting her search. She found the boy in the garage, searching through a box. “Hello.”

“Hi,” he said dryly, not looking up.

“I was wondering if you might like to watch a film with me,” she started, trying to not let the boy’s tone phase her.

“I’m busy,” Tony said, continuing to search through his box.

Peggy contemplated for a moment, trying to figure out how to hand him. She started forward and crouched down, reaching to hold the flap of the box. “Maybe I could help.”

Tony glared up at her with a mixture of emotions in his eyes. “Can’t you get the hint and leave me alone?!” he snapped, pulling the box away from her. “I don’t want your help.”

Part of Peggy thought it might be wise to leave Tony be. She could always try to talk to him later, but she knew that it would be harder to get him to open up when there were others around. She had interrogated enough people in her life to know that. So, she instead put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. He flinched noticeably, but didn’t swing at her like she expected him to. “Is there a reason that you are acting this way?”

“Acting what way?” he muttered, refusing to look at her. “I just want you to leave me alone.”

“How come?” she asked. “I only want to help. I would like to get to know you, and I know this is not how you normally act. I asked Mr. Jarvis and he said that you’re usually an extreme good kid.”

Tony was quiet, looking down into the book. He looked like he wanted to say something, but no words came. Carefully, Peggy continued.

“You won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me what’s wrong, Tony,” she told him. “I can see you don’t like me, and that’s okay. But I would like to know why so I might be able to fix that.”

Finally, Tony looked up at her. “My father cares about you more than he cares about me,” the boy told her, his voice wavering slightly. “He talks about you all the time. You and Captain America. Every. Single. Day.”

Peggy felt her heart break for the child. She could easily see how upset he was by the fact. That’s something a child his age should never have to worry about; his parents loving someone else more than they loved them. It wasn’t fair. “I had no idea,” she told him. “I greatly apologize.”

Tony held her gaze for a moment before he sighed, his shoulders drooping. “I guess it’s not really your fault,” he admitted. He opened his mouth to speak again but quickly shut it, looking back down at the box.

“I suppose you want me to leave you alone now,” Peggy started after a few beats of silence. “I apologize for upsetting you.”

Peggy stood and started to turn away. She knew that she would need to talk to Daniel about finding someplace else to stay. She didn’t want to make this child miserable, and she didn’t see any way that she could turn things around. He had a good reason for disliking her, and frankly, she wanted to punch Howard for it. Because he had made his own child feel like there was someone more important than him.

“Mrs. Carter?”

Peggy stopped and looked over her shoulder. Tony had stopped looking through the box and was standing up. He looked hesitant, but finally met her gaze. “Yes, Tony?”

Tony shuffled his feet as he replied. “A movie. . . A movie sounds nice,” he told her. “If. . . If you still want to watch one.”

Peggy smiled and nodded. “That sounds splendid,” she replied, feeling her heart melt at the way his eyes brightened. A smile formed on his lips and he hurried after her. Maybe she could turn this around.

“Ow, hey!”

Howard held his cheek, rubbing it gently. He had been punched by Peggy Carter before, more than once, but this time he had no idea what he had done to deserve it. “What was that for?”

“Do you care to explain why your child believes you care more about me than you care about him?” Peggy asked. Howard could see fire in her eyes as she spoke. She was furious with him.

“Peg, I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Howard huffed. “The kid is probably just looking for attention. You should just ignore him when he acts like that.”

“Ignore him?” Peggy questioned, following him as he moved to put his suitcase on the table. “Is that what you believe parenting is? Ignoring your child when he’s upset?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Howard said sharply, turning to face her once again. “I don’t ignore Tony. I’m busy. You understand that, right?”

“You’re supposed to make time for your children, Howard!” Peggy snapped, throwing her arms out. “They’re impressionable. Especially one as smart as yours. He’s going to remember this when he’s older and it’s not going to be good.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Howard asked. He was a bit offended by her criticism. It was unusually harsh for Peggy. “That I’m a bad parent?”

“If you can’t see that you’re hurting your son, then yes! Yes, it means that you’re a bad parent!” Peggy hissed at him. “Do you not realize how lucky you are to be able to be there for your son?”

“Peggy, you’re talking out of your head. Have you been drinking?” Howard asked lightly, trying to lighten her mood.

Peggy took his shirt in her fist. “Do you forget that Steve’s father died before he was born?” she asked. “Do you forget that my nephew grew up without his father because my brother died when he was f*cking five years old?”

“Peggy—”

“Do you forget that Ana cannot have her own children?” She pressed. “That her and Edwin would give so much to have a child, yet you act like yours doesn’t even exist!”

“Come on, Peg,” Howard started. “The kid doesn’t need me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she said, letting go of him. “To be a genius, you’re a bloody idiot. F*ck you, Howard!”

Howard watched as Peggy turned to leave. Before she slammed the door behind her, her gaze burned into him. “Steve would be so disappointed if he found that you idolize him. That you use the fact that you knew him to make your child feel inferior.”

Without another word, she was gone; leaving Howard to run his hands through his graying hair and try to comprehend what just happened.

“You’re leaving already?”

Peggy frowned as she heard the small voice behind her. When she turned, she found that Tony was standing there, giving her a sad look. She sighed and crouched down in front of him. “Is it because of me?” he asked. “I-I’m sorry, Mrs. Carter. I changed my mind.”

“Hey,” she said softly, putting a hand on his cheek. “This is not your fault, Tony.”

The boy was quiet, looking down at the ground. Peggy turned to Daniel and the man understood, limping away into the other room to give them some space. She took a breath and turned back to the child, giving him a small smile.

“You are so incredibly smart,” she told him. “I can see that just from being here a couple of weeks. You have a wonderful mind.”

Tony gave her a small smile but didn’t say anything. “I know that things aren’t perfect here,” she continued. “But I want you to promise me something. Can you do that for me?”

The boy nodded quickly without hesitation. “Y-yeah.”

“Good,” she replied. “I want you to promise me that you will do your best to do what’s right, no matter what the cost. With a brain as big as yours, you could change the world some day. I have no doubt that you will, but I want you to promise me that you won’t let that opportunity pass by when it comes to you.”

“Okay,” he breathed. “Okay, I promise.”

“Thank you,” she replied, pulling the boy close and kissing him on top of the head. “One more thing; know your value, Tony. Know what you’re worth and don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. No matter who they are or what they’ve done. No one knows you better than yourself.”

“Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away and what are you?”

Tony wasn’t sure about Steve Rogers even before those words. He had spent his whole life hating this man. The man that his father had always cared about more than him. And then to hear him say that. To hear that he after all Tony had done, this man refused to call him a hero.

Yet here he was, standing in the elevator next to this same man. The man who was holding an opened watch, looking at the picture of the woman they were going to see. Why he had agreed to this, he had no idea. Why he had been the one, when Steve asked him if he knew Peggy; “her and your dad were really close;” he had been the one to say “sure, I still do.” He had actually laughed at the man’s reaction to finding out that she was still alive.

Now that they were here, in the same building as Peggy Carter, he felt like he was betraying her. That he was going against the promise that he had made to her decades ago. That he wouldn’t let anyone talk to him the way Steve had talked to him on the helicarrier.

It was only because of what Bruce had told him after the Battle of New York that he didn’t back out or even humiliate Steve in front of Peggy, telling her what the man had said to him. Because they were all being controlled that day. The stone in Loki’s Staff, the Mind Stone, had been influencing them. All of them. That’s why he and Steve were butting heads. That’s why Natasha tried to convince Fury to lock Bruce up. That’s why Bruce had picked up the staff without realizing it.

“I’m worried she won’t be happy to see me.” Steve’s voice pulled Tony from his thoughts.

“Right. About that,” Tony started. “She might not actually remember you. Not at first, at least. Never fails, she calls me Howard every time I step through that door. I have to remind her who I am. Never remind her he’s dead, but I think she figures it out.”

“She has Alzheimer’s?” Steve asked, a sad look crossing his face.

“Afraid so, Cap,” he replied, sticking his hands in his pockets before making his way out of the elevator. “But she’s a strong woman. It doesn’t bother her.” He paused outside Peggy’s door. “Let me go in first. Try to explain it to her so she doesn’t completely freak out, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve agreed, standing against the wall so he wouldn’t be seen when Tony opened the door.

Tony took a shaky breath and knocked before pushing the door open. He gave a small smile as Peggy turned to look at him. “Hey, Aunt Peg,” he started gently.

The woman’s eyes lit up. “Oh, Howard,” she started. “It’s good to see you.”

Tony tried to hide his annoyance as he moved closer. “No,” he reminded her softly. “It’s Tony. Remember?”

“Oh, yes,” she said with a small smile. “I apologize. You look so much like him.” She shifted in her bed and Tony moved to help her sit up. “You were on the news.”

“Yeah?” he asked, acting surprised. He glanced towards the door, wondering if she had seen Steve too or if had been an interview clip. Either way, she might not fully remember.

“Yes,” she said, lifting a hand up and placing it on his chest where a faint blue light was visible through his shirt. “It was you.”

Tony smiled and put his hand on hers, gently lowering it to her bed. “I brought someone with me that wants to see you,” he told her, speaking a little louder to make sure Steve heard him outside the door. “Is that alright, Aunt Peg?”

Peggy’s eyes flashed with confusion, but she nodded in reply. He closed his eyes and stepped back. “Capsicle?”

Steve stepped in, his hands clasped in front of him as he smiled at Peggy. He looked uncertain at first as Peggy searched his face, trying to recognize him. “Hey, Peggy,” he said quietly. “How’s my best girl?”

Tony could see the moment that Peggy recognizes Steve, and that’s when he decided to step out, leaning back against the wall and trying to collect himself. Part of him said that he should leave. That Steve would be done with him now that he had gotten what he wanted. He would be disappointed if he waited behind. But he stayed anyway, trying his best to not eavesdrop on the conversation that was happening inside. His phone dinged with a message from Pepper asking how everything was going, and at the same moment he went to respond, Steve stepped out of the room, slowly closing the door behind him.

The man stood there for a moment with his forehead pressed against the door. His eyes were closed, Tony noticed, and he was frowning. “I don’t like seeing her like this,” he breathed.

“Yeah, me either,” Tony admitted, standing up straight and pocketing his phone for now. Hesitant, he brought a hand up and patted Steve’s shoulder. “But she’s happy.”

Steve nodded. “Who is he?” He asked after a moment. At first Tony was confused, but then he realized the other man must have saw the pictures in her room.

“His name was Agent Daniel Sousa,” he told him. “A P.O.W. One you saved. He was injured in the war and went on to work for the SSR. She always said he was the first one to treat her as an equal. I met him a few times. Good guy, really.”

Steve nodded slowly, straightening up before facing Tony. “Thank you,” he started. “For bringing me here.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it,” Tony replied, putting his hands in his pockets again. “I should get back to the tower. Ms. Potts has some evening plans, I believe.”

“Right, right,” Steve nodded again. “I should. . . Um, Ms. Romanoff and I were going to train later.” He put a hand over his forehead. “I completely forgot.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” he snorted, remembering his own experience sparring with the woman. “I guess I will see you the next time Fury gets in over his head.”

Tony turned and started towards the elevator before he heard Steve sigh. “Wait, Tony,” he started, causing him to look back. “What I said. . .”

“Is forgiven,” he finished for him, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. Like it hadn’t caused his thoughts to spiral every night since. “You’re not too bad, Old Man. You have a lot to learn, but you’re not too bad.”

He saw Steve roll his eyes, but he held a smile. He turned and continued towards the elevator. “Natasha’s single, by the way,” he called over his shoulder as he pushed the button.

“And there it is,” he heard Steve mutter. He smirked as the elevator dinged in front of him.

“I don’t need a congressional honor, I don’t need Agent Thompson’s approval, or the President’s. I know my value. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t really matter.”

[tonystarkbingo]

Our TSB party is still going, and here is one of the games we’ve had fun with so far!

Fic Titles Game

Glitter - suggested by @phoenixmetaphor3000

@huntress79 - Idea: Dum-E teams up with Steve (other Avengers optional) to bring some Christmas cheer to their favorite in-house Grinch (aka Tony XD)  Massive amounts of Glitter involved

@rebelmeg​ - tony kind of has an accidental thing for glitter. it's not his fault. the iron man suit has a glitz and glamour of its own, he's always told his eyes sparkle, and his favorite tie pin is that gaudy ruby one that pepper hates. he loves the stars, the way sunlight sparkles on the waves outside his malibu mansion, and he can't really be blamed when a tiny speck of glitter under a certain someone's eye catches his attention one december day.

@psychiccatpanda - Clint refills DUM-E's fire extinguisher with purple and silver glitter as revenge for Tony making Clint's most recent armor change to red and gold with body heat. Hijinks ensue.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Decorating the Christmas tree, the Avengers get into an argument over who is responsible for the missing tinsel. Half an hour later they find it, in a tangled web draped all over Dum-e. He objects strenuously to its removal, but eventually concedes to their assistance in rearranging the strands so he can still move.

@huntress79 - The Avengers are invited to a Charity gala, but they have to wear costumes that are NOT their usual ones. And of course, Tony can't resist an opportunity to rile up a certain Captain, just a little bit. Best way to do so: a dare, in this case who wears the most glittery costume. But what Tony didn't expect was that Steve comes up with his own counterdare... (author's choice ;))

@darthbloodorange - [Stony] - It's pride, so there was bound to be some glitter floating around, it was inevitable. But this much? Someone was obviously being irresponsible with glitter and needs to be given a warning for the good of the world (and the Tower's cleaning bots). Tony follows the trail of glitter... all the way to Steve's room? Does this mean that Tony's crush on Steve actually stood a chance of being more than just a crush.

@ralsbecket - It was Steve's first Father's Day being Morgan's step-dad, and Tony helps her with cooking breakfast in bed and sprinkling red, white, and blue glitter on a handmade card (not particularly in that order). Steve still finds glitter everywhere weeks later.

@rebelmeg​ - i can't art very well, but i want art of the aftermath of tony opening a glitter bomb that rhodey left out for him

@huntress79 - (Stony) - During a mission in space, Tony and Steve are stranded on a planet, with no immediate way to get back. After a while, they encounter tiny little beings who introduce themselves as fairies. But while they can't fulfill their wish to get home (for whatever reasons), they might be inclined to use their glittery fairy dust for something else… (could also be used for a crossover with Hook/Peter Pan)

@rebelmeg (with some inspirational help from @dreaminglypeach) - tony coming home with glitter all over his suit and looking super smug, and everyone IMMEDIATELY assumes strippers. but of course it's gotta something completely different and silly.  like... he wandered through the christmas department at the store and slipped on something and ended up sprawled on the glitter strewn floor

 @yesmooshoe - Tony is somehow de-aged to around 5. The Avengers do their best to take care of him while they figure out what to do, but don't keep a constant eye on him. Tony likes all of his new friends though and wants to do something special for them, so he acquires a bunch of glitter and glue (maybe jarvis helps? maybe thor likes crafting? fuck knows.) Tony proceeds to embellish everyone's stuff - glitter all of steve's shield, thor's hammer, glitter all over Clint's arrows (which really throws off the balance but he can't be mad), and even a weird-looking red and yellow robot suit. When Tony is finally returned to normal he's upset with his younger self for how haphazardly he glued all the glitter to his suit, because it could have looked super cool if done well.

Collaborative effort that started with strippers and then went off the rails

Glitter lube

Scratchy, what a terrible idea

oh my god but imagine shitting out glitter

Edible glitter

Edible glitter on cakes

Edible glitter exiting the human body

So many glitter poop jokes and anecdotes

@ralsbecket - The Avengers are forced undercover for a mission to catch a villain red-handed, and this villain just so happens to work from the basement of a strip-club. Tony draws the short straw, but at least he can choose his own stripper name.

@lbibliophile-mcu - He's sure it looks very pretty. Gentle waves ruffling the surface of the bay. Each strand of grass on the dunes lined in perfect crystals of frost. Dawn sun painting the sky pink. And right there is the problem: dawn sun. It is far too early to have to deal with all these stray rays of light stabbing through his eyes.

(More under the cut!)

Vices - suggested by @ralsbecket

@huntress79 - (Stony) - Steve's a hard working cop on the vice, Tony's his "favorite" frequent delinquent (aka Tony's a bit of a bad boy who usually gets arrested by Steve, for rather minor things, but Tony can't shut up when Steve's around, so it's more for his talking than anything else) (Steve, of course, can be replaced by any other character, whatever floats your boat XD)

@rebelmeg - tony kicked a lot of these habits a long time ago. it's been ages since he's been high, or slept around, or partied until he literally dropped. but around this time in december, he's allowed a few of his other vices. his need for near-constant touch and attention. drinking. staying up to keep the nightmares away, and being coaxed to bed when he's so exhausted he's asleep before his head eats the pillow. eating all the food he loves that aren't that great for him. it's okay, though. this time of year, he's allowed.

@lbibliophile - "... This is not the worst thing you've caught me doing." And it was in that moment - confronted by the picture he made trapped in the grip of supposedly-helpful machinery - that Tony decided he really needed to prioritise a better way of getting the suit on and off.

@rebelmeg - some kind of profile art with the arc reactor depicted as one half of a vice clamped on tony's chest

@dreaminglypeach - vices: DUM-E was only trying to help squishy-dad with his work. He didn’t mean to get his hand stuck in a vice. If only sky-dad would stop chastising him and call for help…

@Magicadraconia16 - Dum-E does not understand why everyone keeps saying that vices are bad. They're very helpful tools! He loves the one that Tony gave him for his very own. He can show everyone, then they'll see! If only he can get it off of U's arm, first…

@huntress79 - Knowing that Tony will fall back to some of his old vices as soon as December rolls around, the whole Tower teams up to keep him from doing so (can be gen aka Avengers as a family, or end with your favorite partner for Tones)

@psychiccatpanda - [potential WinterIron] Bucky has been researching everyone on the team and it seems like the media has nothing better to do than to gossip about Tony Stark's vices - women, booze, and expensive cars mostly. The trashier gossip bloggers openly speculated on what (or who) Tony's latest mistake would be. When Bucky gives Tony a judgmental look after he's returned from being out (much longer than the hour Stark had said he'd be gone), Tony frowns. The bag clanks like metal. What the hell had Tony meant when he'd said he needed to 'go pick up some new vices'?? ((hint - it's actual vices. It always takes longer at Home Depot or any hardware store because Tony has to look at everything before he leaves!))

@tehroserose - [Stony] Steve had only one vice. Well, two, but they were related. He loved watching Tony's backside, and he loved getting him angry. The genius was so alive when he was angry, and then he was treated to a wonderful view of the amazing backside. Bucky was about ready to smack him upside the head for his kindergarten way of having a crush.

@darthbloodorange - [Stony] - Before the serum there was a lot of things Steve couldn't experience, whether it was because of his conditions or lack of money. Steve's favourite thing about the 21st Century is all the foods and flavours. Being able to eat things he couldn't eat before. Being able to taste things he wouldn't've been able to taste before. Steve spends his military back-pay on food and treats... a part of him burns at the idea of spending his money this way, there were more beneficial things he could be doing with it... But he can't help himself, especially when some flavours taste like euphoria. Tony notices and decides to indulge in Steve's vices.

@huntress79 - (potential HawkIron) For the longest time, Clint always had to choose before a mission between wearing the team comms and his hearing aids, otherwise his ears felt like being in a vice. SHIELD didn't see it as a necessity to equip him with better things, but once he joins the Avengers, and Tony notices the obvious problem, things start to look up for the resident archer....

@huntress79 - Ever since he got free of the programming and came to live at the Tower, Bucky's been doing repairs on his metal arm on his own. But after a mission, putting his arm in a vice and working with the fine tools isn't the easiest thing to do. And Buck's too proud to ask anyone for help, be it Steve or anyone else. Good thing that he can't stop JARVIS alerting Tony to that particular problem... (can be friendship/mending bridges between them, or WinterIron)

5 Times Tony Stark was a Terrible Cook, Plus 1 That One Time He Finally Ordered a Pizza - suggested by @yesmooshoe

@tehroserose - Tony/Others, Tony/Rhodey end. Tony has always tried to cook for his dates. He wants to impress them. Problem is, he can't cook. And too many people just want the Stark money and lie and say it is good. Or they're too afraid/intimidated to tell the truth. Later, much later, he realizes they aren't good for him. Then there's Rhodey, who's never afraid to tell Tony that his cooking sucks... and then, after the last relationship ended, this time when the white lie was out of care, Rhodey again tells Tony his food sucks, let's get pizza. And they kiss, over the pizza.

@rebelmeg - first it was cookies. cookies burnt to a crisp that even ana jarvis couldn't salvage. second was spaghetti, so mushy and overcooked that rhodey couldn't stop laughing even when tony threatened to throw his enormously thick math textbook at him. third was that whole "raw in the middle" chicken incident that happy still won't let him live down, and fourth was the disastrous omelet for pepper. fifth was morgan's 1st birthday cake, and thank heaven's pepper was wise enough to ignore him and order a backup. this time, he's just gonna order a pizza.

@huntress79 - Tony The Cook: The Jarvises tried, Mama Rhodes as well, but for all his genius, Tony can't figure out a cooking recipe. Nonetheless, he tried to impress several various dates with his cooking skills. Needless to say that none of these attempts (both cooking and dating) ended well. Then, he meets Steve, a guy who doesn't care at all what they eat, as long as they eat together. And so, Tony orders pizza for their date…

@Magicadraconia16 - It's an unfortunate historical fact that Tony cannot cook to save his life (hmm, there's an idea for the next HYDRA kidnapping...). Rhodey's meal was burnt to unidentifiable cinders (seriously, even Tony doesn't know what it was supposed to be); Pepper's gave her an allergic reaction; Natasha chipped a tooth; Hulk came out and threw Bruce's food out of the (closed!!) window; and Steve got food poisoning. Steve!!! So when Bucky turns up in his workshop one day, Tony decides to selflessly save everyone from a hangry Winter Soldier and just orders pizza, instead.

@ralsbecket - 5 + 1 Pizza: Tony Stark was many things. He was a genius, he was a billionaire, he was a playboy, he was a philanthropist. The thing he was decidedly not was a good cook. It was one burnt omelet too many before Pepper begged him to just order out. The person delivering his pizza was... attractive. If he started ordering pizza on Fridays at 6PM every week for a month, that was nobody's business.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Tony just wants to offer a fancy home-made anniversary dinner. It's not so much that Tony is a terrible cook, but that something (or several somethings) always go wrong. His significant other's flight was delayed. He gets distracted by a minor crisis half way through cooking. He tries to prepare beforehand, but forgets to label it before leaving it in the common fridge. Had a mistranslated recipe or the wrong measuring spoons. Dum-e tried to 'help' while he was distracted. The next year, his SO requests that they just order pizza to eat cuddled on the couch.

@psychiccatpanda - Single dad Tony tries to do it all. He feels terrible about the amount of time his three kids (all under the age of 5) spend in daycare, but college will be expensive, so he works -and works. But he tries to make the after-work before-bed moments really count. Sometimes his carefully planned dinners don't work out. Monday, the slow cooker wasn't plugged in and their chicken and potato dish spoiled for being on the counter for almost 13 hours unrefrigerated. Tuesday they were out of bread and ate PBJ on the last three hot dog buns. Wednesday, he thought dinner was fine, but Peter declared it was 'too spicy' and so none of the kids would eat it. Thursday he burned the chicken nuggets in the oven because he had to help the kids with their baths, and Friday? Well no one was gonna talk about that again. Saturday Tony's ready to cry because he's pretty sure Morgan is coming down with something. So he orders pizza. When the pizza delivery guy arrives, holding Morgan, she barfs all down Tony's back. Pizza delivery driver yanks the pizza away and asks if he can come in to set it down in the kitchen, then helps out with the kids while Tony takes a shower.

@darthbloodorange - [Stony] - It was meant to be romantic, cooking for a date. But with Tony it was definitely not romantic. Cooking for Rumiko he managed to burn everything, yet have the food still raw. Firefighters had to be called when he set his dorm alight cooking for Janet. Ty needed to have his stomach pumped after Tony's cooking (how was he to know what was too much alcohol, wasn't it meant to burn off?). Indries had stomach problems for weeks after Tony cooked for her. And he managed to poison Pepper... Needless to say, Tony wasn't a good cook... So when he scores a date with Steve Rogers, he thinks "why bother try? Steve is too good for me anyway", there was no way they were going to last. So he orders a pizza. Steve is relieved when he sees the pizza. He had been hoping Tony would pick something down to earth, worried he wouldn't know how to eat whatever posh food Tony put in front of him and make a fool of himself. Steve admits he doesn't know how to cook either. Maybe Captain America isn't so perfect. Maybe... Maybe this could work out. Him and Steve

@huntress79 - Of all the people, Tony has probably the most irregular eating rhythm. He has been known to try and cook for himself, but the results are less than stellar. So, one by one, each of the Avengers try to cook for him, until Steve joins him in the workshop with a small stash of pizzas…

@lbibliophile-mcu - It was all Steve Rogers' fault. Him and his insistence on 'team dinners' to 'promote bonding' and 'improve cohesion'. Not that Tony necessarily objects to the dinners - pending his schedule - but Steve seems to have this odd conviction that having home-cooked food is a necessary part of the ritual, and none of them can change his mind. Natasha tried logic. Clint tried begging. Bruce, he's pretty sure, is sneaking in pre-made food and just cooking the final steps. Thor thinks it's a great idea... but is always for some reason back on Asgard on his nights. But Tony is a genius, so he decides on a different approach. He grumbles a little bit, but otherwise doesn't complain when it's his night to cook. He cooks... and watches as each of the Avengers gives up on choking down the barely-edible meal. The next time he is rostered, the scene repeats. And the next. And the next. By the sixth time he is due to be cooking dinner, Steve comes up to him and politely - but pointedly - suggests that maybe they just order pizza. Tony thinks of the several meals worth of tasty leftovers hidden in the penthouse fridge, and graciously acquiesces.

I hope Thistle cheer you up - by @darthbloodorange

@rebelmeg - it was the pun war to end all pun wars. and it was probably going to end all of them. clint was fine, he loved puns almost as much as he loved pizza. steve hated puns so much he had taken up swearing. tony took sadistic glee in saving his worst puns for when steve was around. nat was famous for using the most clever of puns at unexpected moments. bucky could deadpan a pun so seriously it always took them by surprise. thor was terrible at it, still grasping the nuances of american english, but he sure tried hard. bruce tolerated it all and made half-hearted attempts at participation, though chuckling at his own puns was usually funnier than the puns. sam loved making puns, but hated it when other people did. it started creeping into other areas of their life, onto social media, in interviews, and at one point hawkeye was trending for awhile after he screamed out "THISTLE CHEER YOU UP!" whilst battling some kind of plant monster. tony helped, because he retweeted with the comment, "ooh, talk dirt to me."

@ralsbecket -  So what if Tony had gotten laid off? So what if Tony had a mountain of bills sitting on his dining table? The only thing that mattered to him in that moment was his baby girl Morgan, with her hair falling out of the ponytail and her cute little lisp. She'd come back in from the backyard with a handful of dandelions, saying, "I hope thistle cheer you up, Daddy" so sweetly that for just a moment, everything was okay again.

@psychiccatpanda - [IronHawk] Tony's been working on the reams of paperwork that he's put off for SI. He's still not sure why it all needs to be done before the end of the quarter, but here he was. Needless to say, Tony Stark has been in a foul mood the whole week. The snide comments he usually keeps to himself have started to slip out and he feels guilty on top of the grouchy, so he decides to barricade himself in his office. He falls asleep on a sheaf of papers and wakes up with the impression of little ridges of paper on his cheek. It takes a moment (he hasn't been asleep that long) for him to fully realize the plant in front of him was real. An aloe plant - with a plate of chocolate muffins, fruit, cheese, and nuts. A post-it on the aloe's pot read, 'I hope thistle cheer you up,' written with a purple felt tip pen., which meant either Clint had left it - or Natasha pretending to be Clint.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Bruce looks at Tony, then back down at the spiny dried flowerhead in his hands.

"I know that you were getting frustrated trying to find these for your new fibre arts project, so I decided to help." His eyes light up as he realises the pun. "Thistle cheer you up!"

Bruce sighs even as he smiles.

"Tony... I appreciate the thought, but as you said, this is a thistle. I need a teasel."

@darthbloodorange - [Stony] - Tony really doesn't like his neighbour Justin. The man was always trying to find ways to report him to the local council. Mailbox too close to driveway? Reported! Weeds in his lawn? Reported! Fence too high? Reported! Didn't clean his pool that weekend? Reported! Lawn too long? Reported! It was ridiculous. But the council won't do anything because taking action against someone who's reported you (even if the reports were false) is apparently considered wrong and vindictive. There was nothing Tony could do but grit his teeth and bear it. One day Tony receives a box in the mail, addressed from his neighbour across the street. The handsome blond guy with the body of a Greek god and a garden that looked like a literal paradise. Steve Rogers. Tony wasn't too shy to admit (to himself) that he had a crush on the man. He eagerly tears into the box to find a small note and a lots of little bags of mulch wrapped in tissue paper. The note reads: "Tony, I've heard you be having some trouble. I hope thistle cheer you up. After the rain comes flowers. Ps. Throw these over Justin's fence." And so he does. Watching Justin battle all the weeds after it rains brings Tony so much joy. Especially when Justine reports him to the council and the council shrugs him off this time. He heads over to Steve with some home cooked food as a thank you gift and they get talking. Turns out Steve is an Environmental activist with a passion for guerrilla gardening. Tony is hooked. Maybe it has more to to with Steve then the revenge on Justin (as sweet as it was)

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #227: Testing... 1... 2... 3!

January, 1983

Welcome to 1983! And the year starts off with the greatest gift of all: more Captain Marvel!

Also, She-Hulk strutting, Hank pondering, and Wasp lunching.

Truly, this issue promises much for six dimes.You’re blessed these days to find a comic that promises half as much for ten dimes.

I’ve said before that I like covers that are just ‘hey here’s several things that are going to happen in this issue.’ And I still do. Is rad.

Also rad? We have our next long term Avengers writer starting in this issue. Roger Stern!

So last time (in Spider-Man), boat cop Monica Rambeau punched a science machine and got filled with science. She can turn her body into any kind of energy. She quit the boat cops and became a superhero in New Orleans for a couple weeks but then learned that she was going to explode. So she went to New York to try to get some science to fix the science.

Since Reed Richards wasn’t available, she wound up going to the Avengers for help. Hijinxes ensued as they must, but Iron Man was able to siphon the excess energy out of her by causing a lot of property damage to his own property.

Imagine the AU where Reed wasn’t on vacation and Monica ended up more tied to the Fantastic Four.

The issue starts with the Avengers and the all-new Captain Marvel hanging out in the combination lounge and science room.

For when you need to calibrate something but with an eye towards leisure.

Since Iron Man siphoned off a lot of energy from Captain Marvel, Wasp decided to test her to make sure her powers haven’t been affected.

The test has Captain Monica take off from Avengers Mansion and then hit a series of satellites as different forms of energy. One as light, one as microwaves, another as radio waves before returning to the mansion as x-rays.

And since she’s traveling at the speed of light, she gets back before the Avengers even take a breath. Although using the telemetry machines he assembled for the test, Iron Man clocks her in at under two seconds.

Cap notes that she’s so fast that she makes Quicksilver look like shit. Because running is fine, if you can’t turn into light.

And Wasp is so impressed that she instantly invites Captain Marvel to join the Avengers as an Avenger-in-training.

Cap frets about the Avengers’ government clearances but Wasp is ahead of him with the power of NETWORKING.

She already got a limited-security training program approved by the government. Because she and the First Lady have the same masseur.

It really is about who you know.

Cap examines the paperwork, sees that everything seems to be in order, and agrees that Jan’s plan is best plan. She-Hulk is all for it too. As is Thor. Only Hawkeye doesn’t voice support, but keeps his thoughts to himself.

So, Monica is in the Avengers! As an in-training!

With that established, Wasp leaves for a brunch appointment.

That Wasp and her brunching.

Cap and Iron Man start breaking down the Monica-Measuring-Machine while Hawkeye starts grousing.

Because Hawkeye.

Hawkeye: “Hey, am I the only one who’s noticed how bossy our boss-lady’s gotten lately? We didn’t used to get called in on the run just to screen new members.”

She-Hulk: “What’s the matter, Robin Hood? Can’t stand being around a few strong women?”

Captain America: “The calling of special meetings is the group-leader’s privilege, Hawk -- you know that! I think Jan is just growing into her post as Avengers chairwoman... and doing a great job of it, I might add!”

Hawkeye has not drunk much respect respect women juice around this point in his life. Putting aside his repeated kissing unreceptive women, he also went ‘haha i hope you learned feminism is pointless’ during the Evils of Feminism Halloween issue.

She-Hulk agrees with Cap’s take and then picks up the entire five ton machine and walks off with it, I think mostly to show off. Or strut her stuff, as the cover said.

This just sets off Hawkeye some more.

Hawkeye: “That’s another thing! I never used to have big, green broads challenging me to arm-wrestle everytime I walked through the door! Do you know what it’s like to... to... Aw, the heck with it! I have to get back to work!”

Cap: “Welcome to the future, Hawkeye.”

Hahaha amazing.

Razz the heck out of him, Cap.

Its possible that he’s exaggerating but I do believe that She-Hulk would do that, just to flex on Hawkeye. What with her muscles.

But I wonder if the reason for this bad Hawkeye mood is that in a rarely precedented turn of events, the Avengers have three women on the team.

That’s still four guys to three girls but since its usually one girl to every three guys, Hawkeye might feel suddenly outnumbered.

Because he is a fool.

After Hawkeye stomps off, Cap remarks that Hawkeye needs to learn a few new things about women.

But Iron Man is lost in his own women troubles. He beats himself up verbally for getting involved with Wasp without being honest with her about his identity.

He even wonders if it would be for the best, aka less awkward for everyone, if he resigned from the team.

Cap tells him that wouldn’t solve anything.

Captain America: “You made a mistake. We all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them... to bounce back. You can do it, mister! You’re an Avenger!”

Iron Man: (So was Hank, Cap... So was Hank.)

Interesting to see how the fall of Yellowjacket is still rippling in the pond.

But here’s what I’d tell Morose Iron Man: Hank didn’t learn from his mistake. He doubled and tripled down on it. If you learn a thing, you’re already off to a good start.

Thor has apparently been sitting across the room the whole time, listening to all of this. But he is also lost in his own thoughts.

He is also thinking whether he should resign from the team but so that he can focus more on re-establishing Donald Blake’s life. And even though some of his proudest moments have been as an Avenger, it is taking away Donald time.

Several floors below, She-Hulk casually carries that five ton machine on her shoulder. So casual that she reads the Daily Bugle while she walks.

She-Hulk, a Californian: “‘The Daily Bugle’ -- HAH! They call this a newspaper? New Yorkers wouldn’t know a real paper if it bit ‘em on their behinds! Sometimes I think I’ll go stir crazy in this town!”

There is apparently nothing for her to do in New York between Avengers missions. Nothing to do. In New York.

???????

But she does find a help wanted ad for a part-time instructor for a health spa that interests her.

You have a LAW DEGREE.

First off, how are you not in ridiculous law school debt?

Second, LAW DEGREE.

She’s so engrossed in the ad that she does Jarvis a fright, forcing him and Monica to squeeze up against the wall to avoid being smacked by the machine She-Hulk is carrying.

Jarvis bemoans that new Avengers are always a trial before hurriedly excluding Monica.

She diplomatically takes no offense.

Jarvis continues his tour of the mansion, taking Monica to the records room which has not only all of the Avengers case files but also cross-referenced files from the Fantastic Four, the UN, SHIELD, Interpol, and a bunch of federal agencies.

If the Avengers love anything its drama but if they love two things its reading up on stuff. Like how Hawkeye was like ‘ah ha the Taskmaster, I read your file’ in the issue where he shot Ant-Man on an arrow.

Monica Marvel asked to see the records room because she’s following up on the Thing telling her that someone else went by Captain Marvel before she did.

So Jarvis punches up the Avengers’ file on Mar-Vell.

That’s a bit of a neat touch. If she’s going to go around as Captain Marvel (and she has to, its a trademark squat) she’s going to be respectful and learn about the man that her name is going to evoke.

Meanwhile, in Central Park, Reed and Sue Richards?

Well, they’re on the cover so its not much of a surprise. They’re Wasp’s brunch appointment. A brunchment.

Sue decided that they should jog to Tavern-On-The-Green. Reed has decided that he hates jogging.

Sue: “Oh, no! It’s 11:59! I knew we should have started sooner!”

Reed: “I wish we hadn’t started at all.”

So when Sue complains about them arriving late, Reed goes heck yeah i can get out of jogging, scoops Sue up and does FANTASTIC LEG STRETCHING which is very different from jogging.

Good thing he made those jogging suits out of unstable molecules.

In mere seconds, Reed covers the half mile to the tavern to meet the nonplussed Janet van Wasp and the oppositely nonplussed waiter.

So, Sue and Jan are fast friends forever now because of that one time they had brunch.

That’s how it works in their circle.

And Sue called and invited Jan out to brunch. But not just to get her back, but because she’s worried about Jan.

Well she says “we’ve been worried” but Reed probably had to be reminded that Sue has friends.

Jan: “Sue, you’re a dear! But you’re worried about nothing! I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Sure, it’s taken awhile to get used to being single again -- but I’m fine! Really!”

And like someone who is totally fine, she insists that she’s fine and then immediately excuses herself to the bathroom to powder her nose.

Noses sure needed a lot of powdering back in the day.

And anyone that insists that they’re perfectly fine and then runs off to the bathroom is either going to cry or going to powder their nose in a more narcotics fashion.

After Jan heads off to the bathroom to powder her nose in whichever way, Reed and Sue talk about her behind her back.

Reed: “Well, she’s certainly putting up a good front -- !”

Sue: “Yes, but it’s just a front! She’s keeping everything bottled up inside her! And she’s been through so much lately... Hank’s expulsion from the Avengers, the divorce... and now that she’s become chairwoman of the Avengers -- ! I’m afraid for her, Reed!”

Reed: “We can’t help her if she won’t let us, Sue. Jan’s a strong-willed woman -- I just pray that she’s strong enough to bend with the pressure... and not break!”

So its not one thing Sue is worried about. Its all the things. And there are a lot of things.

I don’t know what Sue means by “now” when she says Jan became chairwoman of the Avengers.

That happened the instant she came back from her divorce vacation from the team. I mean, it is plausibly a thing to worry about that she’s taken on too much in too little a time and just putting a smile on.

But she’s been leadering the Avengers. Its gone okay.

Anyway, Jan did go into the bathroom to not cry in front of her new best friend, Sue.

Jan: “I won’t cry... I won’t! Maybe I don’t have Hank around to lean on anymore -- but I can tough it out! I’ll show ‘em... I don’t need him... Don’t need anybody! After all, I’m an Avenger! I’m the leader of the Avengers!”

And she walks out of the bathroom with feelings entirely managed and a smile back on.

I think the Avengers needing anybody is why the Avengers are Avengers, though. Bunch of usual loners teamed up once and realized ‘wait this is great.’

So like in the Jan and Tony are disgustingly cute together story, we get another glimpse that things haven’t been as easy on Jan as she lets on.

I don’t mind. This is what being a well-rounded character is, probably. I’ll see how things go.

It’s like... There’s this period of the Teen Titans book where Donna Troy became the team leader because Dick Grayson was having a lot of identity problems. And Donna suddenly started being like ‘I have no idea what I’m doing’ and making a lot of mistakes. And one could suspect that she was being set up as a less competent leader to make Dick look better. Kind of like how Shuri (initially) and Maria Hill exist to make T’Challa and Nick Fury look better in comparison.

As long as they don’t do that to Jan or something else like that, I’m fine for Jan to have a more complicated situation.

And it doesn’t seem like it’ll go that direction because I've heard she’s going to be the team leader for a while and mostly everyone (except Hawkeye) thinks she’s doing a good job.

But we leave brunch to the opposite of brunch, dusk. And at Ryker’s Island Penitentiary.

Recently, the government has been scattering all of the prisoners with superpowers to prisons across the country. Probably to avoid creating a powder keg situation.

*coughs in Raft*

The only superpowered prisoner left is “probably the worst of the lot.”

Because it’s Hank Pym.

Good dunk at his expense, prison guard.

But actually because “What could be lower than an Avenger who’s gone bad?”

And there’s a Dr. Paul Edmonds here to see Hank.

Hank is sorta blase to it, since he’s seen about thirty by this point. Presumably many of which have been paid for by Tony Stark’s guilty conscience.

Edmonds doesn’t say whether he’s from the prosecution or the defense (and Hank admits it doesn’t really matter to him) but he’s here to determine whether Hank is fit to stand trial.

What with his weird history.

Hank Pym: “Doctor, when I think back over my history, as you call it, I sometimes wonder if I was ever fit for anything!”

Wow, nice self-own, Hank.

Anyway, almost the entire rest of the issue is the Grand Fairly Exhaustive Hank Pym Backstory Exposition Dump.

Of course, with the fillering of the previous run, Hank has been in jail for a bit. And a lot of the relevant backstory stuff is decades past. And Iron Man’s recap of it is over a year ago.

The long-awaited trial is coming up soon so Stern has to get the readers refamiliarized with this stuff.

Lets try to breeze through?

Hank’s life? Sucks. A lot.

He received his doctorate while his friends were undergraduates because he was a workaholic and because “it was easier to deal with chemicals than with people.”

He probably wouldn’t have ever left his lab if his coworkers hadn’t managed to drag him to parties occasionally.

Hank met his first wife Maria Trovaya at one of those reluctant social occasions.

Hank: “She was beautiful, intelligent, witty... I couldn’t believe she was attracted to me! It was like some kind of miracle!”

Wow, another amazing self-own.

They fell so in love with each other that they were married in months.

And then tragedy.

Maria decided that the perfect place to go on honeymoon was to her homeland of communist Hungary where her father had been an enemy of the state.

Sooo. The secret police beat the shit out of Hank and took Maria off to be killed.

Dang.

Hank had his first breakdown when he heard. And the State Department had a hell of a time getting Hank released from Hungarian captivity.

When Hank got back to the US, he buried himself in his work. And the mad lad decided to invent a shrinking potion.

Hank: “It shouldn’t have worked, but I made it work!”

I like when people stop and realize how bonkers the Marvel universe is.

And that Hank put all this effort into inventing this thing and then in a moment of clarity went ‘holy shit I can’t believe that actually worked!’

This recap doesn’t mention that Hank poured his invention down the drain after having a bad experience in an anthill but either way, the invention led to him becoming Ant-Man!

Sort of accidentally! He didn’t really plan to become a “costumed crusader” he just sort of happened to do it.

Hank: “In a way, it almost felt good to be battling the kind of vermin who had killed my Maria!”

But he admits that he wasn’t ever truly comfortable in the role of superhero.

Vicarious catharsis for his murdered wife is possibly the reason why he can’t stay away from it though.

Although it mixes with Hank throwing himself into science so he doesn’t have to people. And Hank feeling insecurity compared to his peers in both superheroics and science so he keeps jumping unhappily between the two.

He’s got a lot going on.

Then his life changed forever again when he met a Dr. Vernon van Dyne and his daughter Janet.

Hank: “Though she was barely twenty, her physical resemblance to Maria was striking. And I soon discovered that Janet van Dyne was more than just a frivolous young debutante. Her father was killed... murdered, and when she tearfully vowed to see justice done, I saw a strength of will... so much like Maria’s!”

Hank revealed that he was the Ant-Man and offered to make her his partner.

So, yeah, maybe the relationship was kind of not on the healthiest footing from the beginning. There’s an age gap (Hank says she’s barely half his age although I don’t know that he’s supposed to be in his forties?). Hank is using her as a replacement goldfish. She’s probably clinging to him in a similarly unhealthy manner, having just lost her father and this guy goes ‘hey want some superpowers?’

(Interesting but obvious bit here is that Hank says that with his further research, he could give Jan better powers than his own. What with the wings and the Wasp sting and all, yeah its kind of obvious that her powerset was better. Its interesting though considering how insecure Hank would get later.)

It would have taken a lot of emotional maturity from the both of them to keep it from becoming the unbalanced relationship that it did and neither of them were that emotionally mature, I think. Hank doesn’t even like to people.

He also doesn’t like to Ant-Man. Even with a partner, the role makes him ill at ease.

Hank: “No one can truly know the fragility, the vulnerability of life, as I have. It takes a very strong man to shrink to the size of an ant and still feel sure of himself. And I was never that strong.”

And here there’s a nice bit of arc welding.

Back in Avengers #1, Ant-Man is the one that suggests that Ant-Man, Wasp, Hulk, Iron Man, and Thor become a team.

I don’t know what Stan Lee’s original reason for having Ant-Man be the one to say it. It might have just been a flow thing. Ant-Man had just spoken to explain how his ants have trapped Loki in a tank so rather than pivot to a new character, Stan may have had Ant-Man bring it up.

But in this grand recap of all things Hank Pym, Hank explains his motive.

Feeling ill at ease as Ant-Man, feeling unsure of himself from seeing the world at the size of an ant, he had found some strong allies that he didn’t dare to lose.

Interesting dots to connect.

But then Hank went ‘oh no i fucked up.’

Hank: “I soon realized that Ant-Man would constantly be overshadowed by the more powerful teammates -- at least one of whom the Wasp found most attractive!”

It’s Thor. Of course, it’s Thor.

Even though it may have been a ploy to make him jealous, Hank locked himself in the lab to improve his powers.

Of course, we know Hank Pym’s usual string of luck with locking himself into his lab.

So what happens next is incredibly obvious but no less funny. But its so funny that I had to look up whether it was how it was originally portrayed or invented for this extended flashback.

When testing his new growth formula, Hank smashes his own house like a sillier Alice in Wonderland.

And this actually happened in Tales to Astonish #49.

Amazing.

Hank really does have consistent luck with science.

And what makes it funnier is that according to this extended flashback, making himself super-strong and giant didn’t actually make Hank feel like a more valuable member of the team.

He felt clumsy and inept. Not to mention that testing an experimental formula on himself WAS REALLY BAD FOR HIS HEALTH.

And it was Jan realizing what was going on with Hank rather than concern for herself having been shot that made Jan suggest that the two retire from Avengersing (leading to the Kooky Quartet).

But Jan actually really enjoyed being the Wasp and Hank must have felt shitty pulling her away from it because as we know, he eventually ends up back on the team with more limited growth powers and a name change to Goliath.

He actually felt like he was pulling his weight around this time, though, because he was the most experience member of the team.

Of course, its also around this time that he accidentally created Ultron, which is a big whoopsie.

But he made what he considers a worse whoopsie.

Hank: “But even the responsibility for unwittingly unleashing Ultron on the world often paled in comparison to my trouble relationship with Jan. Having come into her full inheritance, she wanted to underwrite my research. I wanted to pay my own way, but I couldn’t find the words to tell her.”

Probably because he was more comfortable with chemicals than people. Open and healthy communication is essential in a relationship but its also difficult.

He also wanted to marry Jan but at the same time felt too unsure of himself to propose.

So Hank did what Hank do and retreated into his lab.

Where he accidentally spilled some chemicals and had another breakdown after getting high on fumes, becoming convinced that he was actually another person entirely.

I don’t know why but the panel of Hank declaring “So, Goliath won’t marry Janet van Dyne, eh? Then, there shall be no more Goliath!” cracks me up.

Anyway, Jan saw right through Yellowjacket and decided to play along and when Hank was shocked back to reality, he discovered he was married.

Which. Uh. Has gotten more scrutiny in the years after it was published. Including this year of 1983.

Hank: “I guess even some psychotic episodes can be beneficial.”

Dr. Edmonds: “Do you think that was the case?”

Hank: “I did then. Now... I’m not so sure. I know I wanted to believe it then. Jan and I were married. The circumstances didn’t seem important.”

After the honeymoon, things begin to sour. Hank tried to stick to small sizes as being better for his health. And he tried to stay away from the Avengers too but Jan wanted them to be Avengers together.

Hank: “I had to keep trying for her, even though my heart wasn’t in it! The pressure got to be too much, my work began to slide. More and more projects were ending in failure.”

He smashed up his lab to lash out at something, out of frustration that he had swallowed his pride to accept Jan’s money and was now wasting it on fruitless projects.

Jan started trying harder and harder to prop up Hank’s ego.

But he was still a walking emotional wreck so when Ultron returned, it didn’t take much to tip him over the edge into another breakdown.

This one came with AMNESIA! Hank though he was Ant-Man ant-again and attacked the Avengers because he didn’t recognize Vision, Scarlet Witch, Wonder Man, Beast, or even Captain America as being Avengers.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again and again. Ants is best power.

Hank: “It’s almost funny in a way. I took on the Avengers single-handed and nearly beat them! My finest hour as a ‘hero’... and I wasn’t even in my right mind!”

That does sour what is an otherwise pretty impressive stomp. When Spider-Man stomps entire X-Men team, its held up as one of his greatest moments. When Hank does it to the Avengers its like ‘welp there goes another Hank Pym breakdown.’

Iron Man was able to devise a variant of electro-shock therapy which undid the damage Ultron did to Hank’s mind which sure sounds like a thing electro-shock therapy could do.

Hank was getting back into the swing of things as Yellowjacket when Henry Peter Gyrich pulled the rug out from him.

As Henry Peter Gyrich is known to do.

With him as the government liaison, the Avengers were ordered to slim down the roster. And Hank got the boot while Jan was kept on the team.

At first Hank was glad for it because it gave him an excuse to leave the team and go back to his lab work.

Buuuuut as happens when Hank does do that, his lab work became fruitless and frustrating.

And with Jan on the Avengers, he could go days without seeing her. And he felt alone and lost without her.

Its the irony of his life.

Jan convincing Hank to stay on the Avengers isn’t good for him. Him not being on the Avengers while she is, isn’t good for him. And being kept from being on the Avengers isn’t good for her.

A possible compromise might have been to have him working at Avengers Mansion as an on-staff but uncostumed science advisor. But Hank may not have accepted that, what with the pride.

I wonder about it though because Hank will later join the West Coast Avengers in a strictly support capacity for a while.

Anyway, Hank having a bad time in the lab coincided with Captain America reorganizing the roster.

Hank: “I began to think that maybe ‘Avenging’ was all I could do. As Yellowjacket, I pinch-hit for other members whenever possible. And when Captain America invoked executive privilege to further pare the team down to a more workable six members, I jumped back on board. I had such high hopes. The ‘new’ Avengers were practically the original group. This time, I thought I could finally be the kind of man Jan wanted me to be. But I was only fooling myself. By then, I was in no state of mind to be an Avenger!”

Because, yeah. This is the part of the Hank Pym Lore Dump that we hit the Elf-Queen incident.

And then the court-martial.

Hank: “I had to redeem myself somehow! I became desperate! In the hours that followed, I must have cracked completely!”

Enough that building an indestructible kill-bot to kill his friends to make them realize how useful he is seemed like a good idea.

It wasn’t.

The robot kicked the crap out of Hank before he could hit the secret shut-down switch and Jan saved the day by hitting the switch instead.

Hank: “Jan divorced me, threw me out... Not that I blame her! Did you know that I actually struck her on the day of the court-martial?! Lord, I must have been out of my mind! I had compounded one mistake with another, and my whole life collapsed like a house of cards.”

Dr. Edmonds asks if being estranged from his friends and broke was why he tried to steal the federal reserve of adamantium but Hank denies this last bit.

He was played a fool by EGGHEAD!

Hank: “But I’ll tell you this, Edmonds, I won’t play the fool any longer! I’ve learned so much about myself -- the hard way -- in the last few weeks. I’ll have my day in court, and I’ll beat those charges!”

Dr. Edmonds: “I see. And in that way, you think you’ll win back your wife?”

Hank: “No. I thought that was possible once. I don’t any more. I’ve lost her. It hurts, but I’ll just have to accept it. Now, all I want back is my dignity.”

Oof.

I’ve been kind of low-key snarking at Hank for acting like he’d be able to easily win Jan back given what went down but it hurts a little to see him give up on that hope, even if he seems resigned to it.

LATER, Dr. Edmonds returns to his office and calls his SECRET EMPLOYER

Its Tony Stark. Of course its Tony Stark.

We already knew that Tony has been throwing a lot of money at the problem of Hank to assuage his guilty conscience. And that it included making shrinks available.

Dr. Edmonds: “Dr. Pym has been through more than any two men should! He’s suffered at least four nervous breakdowns in the last decade! He has a massive inferiority complex -- but the man is fit to stand trial. Moreover, I don’t think we can swing an insanity plea. Despite his insistence that this Egghead person set him up!”

I wonder if Iron Man was trying to swing an insanity plea. Get the case dismissed. Wouldn’t put it past him!

And honestly. What would you think if you friend had a nervous breakdown, built a kill-bot to kill you, wandered off and disappeared for a while, and re-emerged after heisting a whole bunch of adamantium and claiming that Egghead made him do it?

Dr. Edmonds asks whether it is possible that Egghead was involved since he is a serious psychiatrist man and doesn’t keep up with the superhero biz. But Tony tells him that Egghead died in an explosion in Defenders #42.

Edmonds ponders that may indicate an even deeper delusion, while not suspecting that his pencil has been bugged.

BY EGGHEAD!

Its not a great bug in the sense that it seems to have a bright flashing light. But in the sense of ‘how the hell did you get a bug in a pencil, Egghead?’ its a very great bug.

Egghead, presumably taking a break from his plan to invent eternal youth to get infinite money and then buy the world to save from having to do the Effort of taking it over, hears Dr. Edmonds say “Still, Pym seems convinced he’ll be exonerated, Mr. Stark.”

Egghead: “Ha-ha-ha! Henry always did have faith in the legal system! I suppose I shall have to shatter that faith for him! I knew it was a wise move to let the world think that Egghead is dead! No one searches for a ‘late’ fugitive! Just as no one will suspect who is truly behind Pym’s ultimate disgrace -- when my plans ruin his day in court!”

WOW! You are super petty, Egghead!

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I’ve finally caught up with my backlog. And because I’ll never bug a pencil nor even annoy one. Like and reblog too or I’ll bother a pen.

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 10

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks.

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit/18+ warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark 

Penny never had difficulty sleeping. She was exhausted 90% of the time, between three jobs and everything that went into raising Peter, and could take a nap whenever the opportunity arose. It was a joke amongst all of her coworkers, that if you gave Penny an idle 10 minutes, she'd find a place to curl up and nap. She could sleep 16 hours straight happily if given the chance. 

Insomnia wasn't a part of her life. It was why finding herself unable to sleep was shocking to her entire system. The day of her punishment she took a nap and that was the last time she slept more than an hour at a time for the next three days. She wasn't sure if it was the fear and anxiety or the stress or any other combination of things, but she simply couldn't sleep. 

She didn't know if her kidnappers had noticed, strangely enough. They watched her constantly, tracking her movements and making notes of her habits, but never mentioned her sleep patterns. Or her eating patterns, for that matter. 

When Steve got up in the mornings, she waited about half an hour before getting out of bed herself. While he went for a workout, she pulled all of the curtains back from the floor to ceiling windows in the living room and laid on the floor in the sunshine. It was the only time she really slept soundly for longer than 20 or 30 minutes. By the third day, when she got up and went into the living room, the curtains had already been pulled back and the couch cushions were arranged like a pallet on the floor where she usually lay. An apple, which she had a tendency to grab in the mornings to hold her over until breakfast because half the time the only kosher food in the kitchen was fruit or vegetables, was already washed and cut and set on the coffee table. 

They never said anything about what she ate, even when Bucky made large, intricate meals and she avoided most of it. The first night he made spaghetti and meatballs with a side salad and she'd only eaten the salad. The second night had been pork chops and pasta salad— she'd dug out the last of the salad from the previous meal and a bit of the pasta before realizing there was bacon in it. Honestly she was starving, there was hardly anything kosher in the apartment and she was living off vegetables. 

Her captors were strange dudes. Sometimes they seemed chivalrous to a fault, set in some sort of bizarre gender stereotype; they would never sit before she did or start eating until she took her first bite. But Steve didn't like when she cursed or rolled her eyes and Bucky told her smoking wasn't ladylike when she asked for cigarettes. There was a weird dichotomy where they desperately wanted her to be happy in her imprisonment but simultaneously wanted to micromanage her behavior. 

After the fourth near sleepless night, she’d once again retreated to the living room once she was sure Steve had left. The spot in front of the windows was comforting for some reason, the warmth of the sun was encompassing like a hug but didn’t require touch. It felt safer than anywhere else in the apartment. 

She slept for at least an hour and only woke up to the sound of JARVIS playing a chime every few seconds, the noise slowly increasing in volume. As she blinked, slightly disoriented by the sound, and realized she was no longer laying on the cushions. At some point while she was asleep Bucky had managed to wedge his way beneath her, leaving her to lie on his chest. His arms were raised on either side of her head like he was holding something over her and the top of her head brushed his chin. 

At that point, her body didn’t even bother to instinctually tense. Even after such a short period of time, the panic response had lost its grip in the face of resentful acceptance. 

“Good morning, doll,” Bucky’s voice was a rumble beneath her more than a sound and she heard a page turning above her, “I can see why you like to lay here.” 

Penny didn’t bother answering, tired eyes tracking his movements as he lowered his arms and put a book on the floor. He didn’t look tired at all with his hair carefully pulled back into an artfully messy bun, fully dressed despite the fact that it couldn’t have been past 7 am. It was unfair how attractive they were, considering the position they had put her in. She’d never even considered a man bun atttractive before for fucks’ sake. After a short moment, his hands came back up to cup her face. 

Knowing the kiss was coming didn’t make it any easier to process or mentally prepare for. She didn’t want him to, it was disgusting, how dare he kiss her— but it was also so nice. Bucky was a really good kisser, both of the soldiers were, and it sent tingles down her sprine every time. The warmth from the sunshine was amplified by the feeling until it seeped into her veins and rendered her boneless against him. 

“Really good morning,” Bucky smiled against her lips, brushing his nose against hers as he pulled away enough to look at her, “Steve’s gonna be out of the shower in a few and we’ll head up to breakfast. Go get dressed.” 

Penny nodded in response, dazed, and let him pick her up and set her to the side of the pallet where it was easier to stand. The bedroom was still mostly dark, the heavy curtains drawn and the only light coming from the partially open bathroom door. The shower was running and she could hear Steve moving around as she walked to the dresser. 

There was a drawer dedicated to the softest clothing they’d purchased for Penny and she was especially taken with the shirts in it. They felt like ultra thin, soft cotton but were actually rather thick and warm. She pulled out a black one with long sleeves and traded it for the t-shirt she’d slept in. The same pair of jeans she’d worn the previous day followed and she tugged off her socks, prefering to go barefoot just because she could tell it bothered Steve. 

She stepped past the blond in question just as he came out of the bathroom, pretending not to notice the once over he gave her. The assholes weren’t exactly subtle, probably didn’t see the need to be. Bucky was waiting by the elevators when she walked into the living room, motioning over with the metal hand.

It had been days but she still hadn’t gotten up the courage to ask about the arm. Steve and Bucky both treated it like a completely normal arm, as if it wasn’t a super strong and incredibly high tech prosthetic, and she was afraid to mention it. Instead she tried to make sure she didn’t look at it for too long, or hesitate when he touched her with it just in case it made him angry. 

“Ready for breakfast baby?” He wrapped the arm around her shoulders and tugged her into his chest, ducking his head down to kiss her cheek. 

“Yeah,” Penny murmured, eyes tracking Steve as he also left the bedroom and crossed the room, kissing them each soundly before calling JARVIS to bring the elevator.

Penny had forced herself to become comfortable with any display of affection that came directly before getting to see Peter, just in case they decided to throw a hissy fit at her rejection and refuse to take her to breakfast. Despite the fact that she'd been promised she could see her brother multiple times a day, it had been limited to breakfast. She asked at least 20 times a day, can I see Peter now? I want to see Peter. I want to see my brother. They brushed her off every time, made some sort of excuse. 

It was part of their plan to make the siblings 'adapt' to their new lives. Penny could read between the lines and knew they didn't want them together too often to avoid any plotting. If they couldn't communicate enough to make an escape plan, they probably wouldn't try. It made sense, the clever bastards, but not being able to see her brother was wearing her down. Combined with the lack of sleep, she was beginning to feel more and more distraught. 

JARVIS was a small, unexpected saving grace. She wasn't sure why, but the AI would give her updates on Peter if she asked. Is Peter okay? Yes, Ms. Parker, he is currently in the lab. Is Peter okay? Yes, Ms. Parker, he is taking a nap at the moment. Is Peter okay? Yes, Ms. Parker, he is watching the original Star Wars trilogy. 

As they rode in the elevator up a few levels to what she'd come to realize was Stark's floor, she could see a very small red light in the upper corner. JARVIS was always watching, monitoring things like heart rate and temperature. He understood Hebrew if she spoke in it and would answer in kind, giving her a sort of privacy from the men boxing in her. The AI wasn't on her side per say, but the little things he did helped keep her from going crazy. 

When the doors opened, Penny didn't wait for the men to move before she began on her way to the kitchen. She would sit in a chair, despite the incredible amounts of pain it caused after her punishment, but would be transferred to someone's lap almost immediately. Likely Bucky, since they seemed to take turns and Steve had held her yesterday. They wanted to hold her and feed her. It restricted her movements, kept her farther from Peter, and drove her batshit insane. 

She quickly sat in the chair closest to her brother, forcing herself not to wince in pain and reached out for his hand. Peter was coping much better than she was, it was plain on his face and otherwise in his appearance. He didn't look happy necessarily, but he was sleeping and eating regularly. There was no visible cringe when Stark touched him, which she assumed meant the man hadn't hurt him. 

Penny had been considering for days what she would do if she walked into the kitchen one morning and found Peter injured. She was about .02 seconds from losing it at any second as it was, if she ever suspected Peter was hurt she would go ape shit. The goal would be to take Stark out as efficiently as possible— she'd likely only have one chance. She was pretty sure shoving a fork through his eye would be as effective as anything else. 

"You know, you get a very particular look on your face when you're considering killing me." 

Penny looked away from Peter just in time to see Stark before he swept her up out of her chair and sat down with her in his lap. Being as small as she was, it made manhandling her pretty easy in comparison to say, Peter, who despite being skinny was tall and ungainly to lift and carry around.

"Tony," Bucky sounded displeased but Stark waved him off. 

"My turn Winter Wizard," the older man snarked, tugging her snugly back against the line of his chest, "I love Penny too." 

Love. Stark didn't love Penny. She was half convinced he didn't even understand the concept, had it so thoroughly confused with obsession that he couldn't comprehend what love was. Love was selfless and unconditional, it was supposed to bring joy and comfort. Nothing about Stark's actions were any of those things, didn't provide a feeling of happiness and safety. Sitting in his lap was like sitting on a live landmine.

"What're your plans for today sweetheart? Peter wants to spend some time in the lab with Bruce— honestly I think he likes biology more than engineering, can you believe that?" 

Penny didn't answer, watching from the corner of her eye as Steve and Bucky sat down in the chairs around them. Steve sat opposite of Peter at the head of the table while Bucky took a seat to the teenager’s right, across from Penny and Stark. There was another comprehensive breakfast spread across the table, a quiche, pancakes, scrambled eggs with cheese and ham, fresh fruit, sausage and bacon.

Every time they loaded plates for her, Penny found herself turning her nose up at at least half of it. She was pretty sure they were unaware that the siblings were Jewish, either that or they were too stupid to realize there were dietary restrictions involved in the religion. Peter was more lax than Penny, he didn't remember their parents as much and aunt May and uncle Ben hadn't been religious, but she still ate kosher about 75% of the time. Plus, most kosher foods just felt more ethical and humane. 

Not that the mother fuckers who'd kidnapped them had any idea what it meant to be ethical. Or humane for that matter. 

"Penny, words," it wasn’t an order necessarily but she'd come to realize over the few days she had been in the tower that Steve's tone left no room for disobedience. 

"I don’t have any plans," she tried not to overtly grit her teeth in irritation. 

Any other day she'd be at the daycare until 1ish, taking care of the babies. After that she'd go to her barista job and after that, she went to the grocery store to stock shelves over night. Penny didn't have downtime, she didn't have hobbies, she didn't do anything during the day other than work. Maybe that's why she wasn't sleeping at all; she wasn't doing anything. Certainly not half as much as usual. 

"Well, what would you like to do? What do you do for fun?" 

Simmering anger began to build under Penny's skin but before she could answer (and potentially get herself into trouble), Peter jumped in, "Penny used to knit. And you liked gardening, right? When we lived in the house you had all those plants and the garden out back." 

"Ma's garden," Penny twitched her nose, the movement preventing a facial expression from settling and giving away her emotions— she tried not to think of the garden, or the house they'd lived in before the accident, it made her too sad. 

"Bite, sweetheart," Tony directed when she went quiet, refusing to elaborate. 

The food on the fork was a piece of the quiche, something with spinach and cheese and bacon, and Penny shook her head. The bacon was bad enough, but putting dairy with it as well was too much for her to stomach. Stark hesitated for a moment before sighing heavily and putting the fork down, forcing Penny to turn slightly in his lap to face him.

"You have to eat, sweetheart," he looked just a shade short of irritated and a thrill ran through her, a mix of fear that he might hurt her if he got mad enough combined with dark satisfaction that her actions were having an effect on him even if unintentionally, "you're too skinny as it is and you can't keep refusing food."

"I won't eat it," she stated quietly, resolution in her tone.

The only things on the table she would truly be willing to eat were the fruits and the pancakes. The quiche had cheese and bacon, the eggs had cheese and ham, and the individual meats were pork. For some reason, the bites of food she wanted were few and far between compared to the dishes she couldn't eat. 

"It's not an option baby," Bucky's voice was soft and imploring. 

Irritation climbed up her throat. She wasn’t on a hunger strike, she wasn’t being difficult. They were the ones who'd snatched her up against her will without considering her needs and wants. They were the ones at fault and fuck if she was going to— 

"That's not kosher," Peter quickly pointed to the quiche, followed by the scramble,  "that's not either. The pancakes might not be either depending on the eggs. Penny will eat the fruit." 

"You guys eat kosher?" Bucky and Steve both looked startled and she'd bet Tony did too. 

She didn't realise they were all considering what they knew about Peter; Tony had taken the boy out to eat multiple times in the months before bringing the siblings to the tower and there'd never been any sign of a special diet. They were Jewish, yes, but Tony could clearly remember the teenager eating bacon cheeseburgers and shrimp alfredo. 

"I don't but Penny does."

Since they'd brought her into the apartment, the soldiers hadn't paid too much attention to what she ate. Salads mostly, pasta. They hadn't focused on what she was eating, just the quantity of what she ate. 

"Ms. Parker regularly checks with me before consuming anything," JARVIS announced to the silent room. 

Maybe part of the reason Penny wasn't sleeping was because she was hungry. Honestly she was always sort of hungry, Peter having plenty to eat was more important than her eating regularly, but she'd been really hungry over the past few days.

"Penny why didn't you say anything?" Steve looked stricken and Bucky's face was ashen; he'd even talked to Wanda about kosher foods before they'd assumed the Parker's didn't eat a specific diet. 

"Why didn't I tell my kidnappers that I follow a religious diet? I wonder."

The words were scathing and spoken with a hiss of disdain that had their shoulders raising automatically. Bucky and Steve both shrunk back slightly and Stark went still behind her. She even managed to get out of his arms without a fight, standing up and heading for the elevator without hesitation. 

"...Penny?" 

"I'm going to take a shower, leave me alone!" 

She was so angry and fucking exhausted and hungry. Irrationally, it felt like storming off after having an argument with family instead of the true life villains she was surrounded by. She felt like a teenager storming off after fighting with her parents. Shockingly, they really let her go. The elevator doors opened and closed for her, even though she was alone. 

"Shall I bring you to your apartment Ms. Parker?" 

"It's not like I can go anywhere else," her voice was tearful and she bit the inside of her cheek, refusing to cry. 

But instead of moving, the elevator stayed still for an abnormal amount of time. She assumed JARVIS was waiting for the soldiers to arrive. 

"Perhaps you would like to go to the kitchens, miss?" 

"The kitchens?"

"Yes miss, I've spoken to one of the chefs who is more than happy to make all necessary adjustments to the kitchen to facilitate a kosher diet. New equipment is being brought in to prevent cross contamination and an order was sent to the runners for kosher foods which should arrive in less than an hour. In the meantime, Chef Cohen is gathering the necessities to make a kosher breakfast from what is currently on hand." 

Penny immediately burst into tears against her will, entirely overwhelmed. The tower was a goddamn nightmare, she was trapped and more often than not separated from her brother, but JARVIS was slowly becoming one of her favourite people (even if he wasn't really a person) in the world. Because JARVIS talked to her in Hebrew and told her about Peter when she asked and helped her figure out what she could eat and played movies on the wall all night while she was stuck in bed. 

He couldn't help her escape, he was a computer program at the mercy of his protocols, but he did more for her than anyone else. 

"Yes please JARVIS," Penny managed to get out through her tears, pressing her palms against her eyes gently, "thank you JARVIS." 

"You are most welcome Ms. Parker, your happiness is my priority." 

"It is?"

"My protocol is to make sure Mr. Parker and Master Stark are happy. In order to do so, I must make sure you are happy miss." 

Penny wasn't smart. She didn't have a high IQ, never finished college, would never qualify for anything more than a dead end job. But she was good at reading between the lines. Finding unconventional solutions to problems was a skill of hers. JARVIS might not be able to intentionally help her escape, but he might help her on accident without even realizing it.

It wasn't a plan, not yet, but it was a tool in her arsenal she never expected to have. And she would use it to her advantage as soon as possible. 

"Sir, Ms. Parker is currently on her way down to the kitchens were Chef Cohen is preparing a kosher meal. He has also compiled a comprehensive list of kosher foods to be kept in the kitchen at all times." 

"He made a list? Why didn't you do it J?"

"He's Jewish," Peter answered before JARVIS had a chance, shrinking back slightly when three pairs of eyes leveled on him suddenly. 

"Have you met him? He shouldn't have come up to this floor."

Sometimes Peter forgot that gentiles didn't recognize Jewish surnames, "he… didn't. His last name is Cohen. That's one of the most Jewish names I can think of." 

He couldn't be sure, there was a high chance that Peter was hallucinating, but it was possible that Tony Stark was blushing. Like, it was possible but Peter was pretty sure his eyes must've been playing tricks on him. Tony made him blush a million times a day, it was never the other way around. A small thrill ran through him, had he made Tony turn red? 

"Peter, is there anything else like this that we should know?" 

Steve's voice drew him out of his reverie and Peter directed his attention at the blond, "like what?" 

"Like things Penny doesn't like, or will upset her?" 

Peter nodded in understanding, "like abducting her and keeping her against her will?" 

"Peter!" Tony was trying to admonish him but his tone was full of laughter.

Bucky leveled the teenager with a vaguely amused expression, "Tony was the one who kidnapped her."

"Yeah but she hated him on principle before that, you guys she learned to hate." 

"Okay, moving on," Tony waved his hand dismissively before the soldier could respond, "J, let Cohen know he's officially Penny's personal chef. I want him available any time she's hungry, any time she wants a snack. I'll up his pay, but if Penny gets up at 3am and wants some ridiculously complicated meal, he'll be dragging his ass out of bed to make it." 

"Understood sir."

Bucky absently stared towards the doorway Penny had disappeared through, "I could figure out kosher cooking." 

"Let the professionals handle it, Bucky Bear," Tony snorted slightly before turning his attention to Peter, "is she allergic to anything?"

"I'm not sure, we think she had an allergic reaction to something a while back she never went to the doctor or anything," Peter took a huge bite of his pancakes.

"She hasn't been to the doctor in a long time has she?" Bucky frowned, considering the implications. 

"Or the dentist," Peter nodded. 

"We'll have Bruce do a complete work up, just to be safe. We’ll get dentist in here too. J?" 

"Dr. Banner would be happy to see Penny anytime today and I am sending a request to your own dentist sir."

"Tell Bruce we'll head his way once Penny finishes eating," Steve had a tendency to look up at the ceiling occasionally when speaking to JARVIS despite knowing he wasn't up there, "will you let us know once she's done? I want to give her some time to calm down."

"Once she has finished her meal I will direct her Dr. Banner's lab—" 

"J, you'll tell them when," Tony ordered, quickly noticing the way his AI tried to steer his words, "the soldiers will accompany her. Going down to the kitchen by herself was a stretch, she can't be wandering around unattended this soon."

"She was hungry, sir." 

Steve and Bucky exchanged a glance; the AI sounded defensive but there was a derisive tone to him as well, aimed at the soldiers. They were the ones supposed to be taking care of Penny and yet she was hungry. JARVIS was unimpressed with them and had a surprisingly strong attachment to Penny after such a short time. 

"Yeah, yeah, J, just let them know a few minutes before she's done eating," Tony turned his attention to Peter, "baby, why don't you go take a shower before we head to the lab?" 

Peter felt his eyebrows furrow in confusion. Usually, showering before going to the lab was sort of a waste. They'd get sweaty and gross by the end of it and need another shower anyway. He hoped he wasn't blushing— usually Tony took a long bath with him when they were done in the lab. 

"We're still gonna take a bath together baby, don't look so sad," the salacious look on the older man's face had Peter quickly darting to his feet, face on fire as he ran off. 

Tony waited until the teenager was out of earshot to turn a very dark look on the soldiers, "wanna explain how the fuck you haven't known for two full fucking days that Penny won't eat anything that's not kosher?"

"Tony—" 

"No, actually," he waved his hand before Steve could finish speaking, "I don't care what you have to say. You're going to listen." 

He wasn't older in literal years, but Tony's consciousness was older than the soldiers' and in that moment he felt those years. He stood from the table, coffee mug in hand and took a few steps towards the counter. In general, Tony considered his friend’s to be his family. They were important to him, he wanted them to be happy and healthy and cared for. But Peter was his world and because of that, Penny was too. Her happiness usurped theirs. 

“I gave you both the opportunity to take Penny, the way I took Peter,” he took a sip of coffee, tapping his fingers against the expensive marble countertop, “I knew from the way you talked about her, that you loved her the way I love Peter. But I didn’t want to. Honestly, I wanted to keep her tucked away where I can keep her safe and happy. I knew I could do a better job than you, but I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt.” 

Tony dumped his coffee into the sink, setting the mug in after and running some water into it. Around 10am a housekeeper would come in a clean up after breakfast, leaving the dishes that lived in the house and taking the rest down to the kitchens. He liked to keep everything as spotless as possible because his brain was a pretty big disaster at the best of times and clutter didn’t help. 

“You’re very quickly losing it,” he held his hand up when Steve went to speak, “shut up, I don’t want to hear it. Right now you’re listening. This is strike one. Penny is upset and she’s been hungry for the last two full days. Somehow, despite being around her constantly, you didn’t realize that. You better figure out what else you’re not realizing because if I feel like Penny isn’t thriving, I’m going to take her back whether you like it or not.” 

[thorne93]

Unforeseen Chasm(Part 34)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count:5106

Warnings: Language, angst, slight fluff, heartbreak, arguing, fighting, unconscious reader, hints to smut.

song for this part: Heart wants what it wants - Selena Gomez

Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone got back to the tower on the same day. Just as Nat and Clint had finished settling in, Steve and Bruce had walked in with their luggage, when Tony and Shannon were in tow.

“Wow, you two are in a good mood,” Nat noted as she looked at the happy couple when she walked into the common area.

“Well,” Shannon started, holding Tony’s hand and looking at him, “actually we have some news.”

“Oh?” Natasha inquired with a perked, curious brow.

“We’re engaged!” she squealed, holding up her left hand, showing off the dazzling diamond.

“Wow, Stark! Way to pick ‘em!” Nat complimented as Steve shook Tony’s hand and congratulated him. Clint high fived Tony. Bruce pulled her into a hug before smiling to Tony.

“I know. Isn’t it amazing?” she asked, staring up at Tony with adoration in her eyes. “We have so much to do and plan!”

“I call dibs on maid of honor!” Natasha said quickly, which suddenly made Shannon realize she needed to share the news with you.

Shannon went silent for a moment, her face falling. This was it, wasn’t it? This was another huge milestone you wouldn’t be there for…

“Oh… I…” Natasha tried, but even a trained spy couldn’t correct this situation.

It dawned on Shannon that she didn’t share the news with you first, and now she felt extremely guilty. Was she somehow forgetting you?

“If you guys would excuse me for a moment, there’s something I need to do.” She hurried off to one of the elevators. Tony wanted to follow after her but knew where she was headed feeling slightly worried about how she was feeling.

“JARVIS, keep an eye on Shannon’s vitals for me,” he said, going to the couch to sit and think.

“Yes, sir.”

On the ride down she tried to think of a way to tell you the news. “How could I have forgotten to tell Y/N first?” she asked herself. “How do I tell my best friend I’m getting married and she won't be there to see me walk down the aisle?” Realizing this, her shoulders sagged as she finally arrived to the floor you were in.

Hearing the room doors open, you walked to the front of the cell to see Shannon walking over to the cell. Getting to see her again was something you had been looking forward to as you didn't get to at all the past month.

“Oh, hey, Shannon. You’re just in time to watch Loki make lunch. Well, attempt to,” you teased, glancing back to your beloved. “He has many great qualities, but cooking is not one of them.”

Loki glanced up at you and slightly narrowed his eyes into a glare. “Excuse me for being raised as royalty and never needing to make anything. I would think you’d be applauding my efforts,” he remarked.

You laughed and smiled, rolling your eyes as you turned back to Shannon, staring at her through the glass. “You want to come in? Well, why am I asking you? Not like I can exactly open the cell up,” you said with a laugh.

Nervously, she laughed too. “That's funny, Y/N/N. I’d love to see what his royal highness has in store for lunch today.” Trying to calm herself, she scanned her hand and was able to enter the cell.  “It's good to see you, Y/N. I’ve missed our video chats.” She hugged you tightly.

You held onto her, soaking up the feeling. “I missed you too. How was the vacation? I hope Tony spoiled you.”

She stopped for a moment glimpsing at her hand and seeing the ring while you weren't looking. “You won’t believe where Tony took me. I didn’t even know he had a little place there,” she said, stepping back a bit to look you in the eyes. “I’ll have to bring down my camera to show you the pictures and upload them to the holograms so you could see its beauty.” She had an unreadable face which bothered you a bit.

“Sounds good. Is everything okay? Did you and Tony fight or something?” you asked, concerned as you touched her arm slightly.

She looked back at the ring like it was burning a hole on her finger. “Yeah everything’s fine, we didn’t fight… it’s just--” She stopped not knowing how to say it. “It’s just a few days before leaving he… he asked me to marry him.” She twisted the ring on her finger, showing you the simple diamond on the band.

“Oh my god! Wow! This is utterly amazing!” you gushed, nearly yanking her hand towards you. “That Tony has some good taste. Why did you not want to tell me this?” you asked, realizing she was being hesitant.

She looked up at you with tears in her eyes. “Because I know I won’t be able to have you help me pick my dress and do all the things we’d planned if I ever got married.” She sobbed, collapsing a bit. You caught her and let her cry for a moment holding her close and realizing what that meant.

“Oh… Well… I might not be able to go out but I can... “ you wanted to offer something but you couldn’t. There was no internet down here, nothing to get online with, no way to look anything up, book any vendors, order anything. You were literally useless in this cell as Shannon’s best friend. Eventually, you sighed, just holding her close.

Thoughts sparked in your head on how your life had ever come to this. Shannon getting married was going to be one of the biggest days in her life, and you had always planned on being there. It was almost like a felony to not be there. And now… now you’d given that up, given up everything… for one man. Your eyes flashed to Loki who was pretending to still work on lunch, but you noticed he wasn’t really moving. His eyes were glued to the counter as he just stood there. More than likely, he was listening, realizing the same thing you just did:

The only reason you were here in the first place was because of him.

Before you could address that, though, you needed to comfort Shannon. “Shan, hun, it’s okay,” you tried as she slowly lifted herself back up, wiping her tears. “You can still send me pictures, we can video chat when you go try on dresses, you can bring down bridal magazines. I can still do my part. I can do whatever you need me to do.”

Tears still slipped down her cheeks. “It won't be the same, Y/N/N.” She hiccuped. “When did our lives become this complicated?” She seemed to ask herself rather than you.

JARVIS sent an alert to Tony that her heart rate had increased a bit.

“Show me where she is, Jarvis,” Tony requested immediately, the Al responded with showing what had caused her heart rate to increase and his heart broke for Shannon, hearing what was happening, he wanted to help but had no clue how.

“How am I supposed to plan my wedding when my maid of honor isn't out there?” she asked you, hearing the pain in her voice. “I wish I could take you out of here so we could do all those things but Tony would never agree to it.” She knew it was true he still distrusted you.

“He has every reason not to,” you agreed, the anger slightly sparking under your skin. “Look I know it’s not ideal, sweetie, but please don’t let my… life decisions hold you back from marrying the man of your dreams.”

She looked at you like a sad little puppy not knowing how she would do the planning without you. “We could try to plan this together?” She sounded unsure, you could see the gears working in her mind as to how you would still be able to help her. “We could probably look at things that could be brought down here for us to pick out.”

You nodded, eyeing her with concern. “Yeah, absolutely. I can do whatever you need. You can bring magazines or swatches or pictures. Whatever. I’ll be here, patiently waiting,” you assured.

She smiled up at you, a few tears still falling. “Thanks, Y/N/N. That means a lot.”

You wanted to ask her who was going to be her maid of honor instead. You felt it would probably be Nat, but who knew? Shannon knew a lot of people, and was loved by dozens. People were probably lining up to be by her side on her wedding day, meanwhile you were still here, shackled to the confines of this glass box.

You wanted to ask her all kinds of questions about an event that you couldn’t even witness in the flesh. But, that would only upset the both of you, so you didn’t mention any of it.

The two of you said your goodbyes for now, wishing her congratulations before she left. She said she had to unpack and check in with Fury about anything the team missed while they were gone.

You watched her disappear behind the huge metal doors, your back to Loki who remained quiet for a long time before finally quietly saying, “I’m sorry that you won’t be able to attend their wedding.”

You closed your eyes and slightly clenched your fist. “Are you?”

Loki frowned at your words as you spun to face him. “What?” he questioned, confused.

“Are you actually sorry, or are you just saying that? Is that just another one of your lies, your manipulations?”

“Y/N, what’s wrong with you?” he asked, his eyes narrowed on you.

“Wrong with me? I can’t be with my best friend on the best day of her life because of you.” You pointed at him. “Because you had fucking family issues.”

He took a step towards you, a frown etched in his features. “I didn’t ask you to jump into that portal after me, that was your doing.”

“We could’ve ran from Sanctuary when we got there. But you refused to fight, like a coward. Instead of telling Thanos to eat shit, you bowed down to him.”

“He’s a titan, Y/N,” Loki stressed, using both hands. “He isn’t exactly someone that can be reasoned with. I chose our lives over everything else. Or would you rather me pretend to be some hero and get us killed?”

“I would’ve rather had you use your magic or something, anything to get us out of that situation. Do you have any idea how much I’ve lost? Maybe you wanted to let go. Maybe you hated Odin and Thor and Frigga and the whole lot of Asgard. Maybe you felt you didn’t want to go on, but I had a family, a life, a career. Now what do I have? I have a lying bastard as a cell mate for the rest of my life.”

“You’re honestly angry with me? I never wanted you to jump in after me! That was your own moronic decision, do not put that burden on me! She can hardly be called your friend.”

You reeled back from his words. “How can you even say that? It’s because of her we aren’t in the worst prison in the nation, and we aren’t separated.”

“What exactly has she done for us? She knows we were threatened and brainwashed, and yet, she still has done nothing to get us out or plead our case. So she put some pretty pictures on the wall and broke you out for therapy, I don’t hold that as equivalent for stabbing me in the back and nearly killing you. She pushed you out of a window, remember?”

You clenched your fist. “She was only reacting to the monster I’d become. The monster you made me when you refused to get help. We could’ve gone to Thor. We could’ve told him the truth! But instead you had to make Earth your crown jewel. You had to own something! You were so desperate to prove yourself to a man who never thought you worthy in the first place. Why would anything you do now matter?” you challenged.

“You might want to watch your tongue.”

“Why? You going to stab me? You going to turn me over to Thanos?”

“As I recall, I took a good portion of torture onto myself, instead of letting them hurt you. So do not accuse me of not caring for your wellbeing. It was your doing that got you into this mess. Not mine.”

“I jumped after you because I loved you. I didn’t want to see you be alone,” you quietly reminded.

“And that’s exactly why sentiment and love will ruin people. At the end of the day, they’ll die for someone,” Loki remarked coldly.

“So that’s it then, I shouldn’t have jumped in after you? That this is all my fault?”

“This is all your fault!” Loki snapped, his voice raising. “You jumped after me. You failed to properly get Banner from Shannon. If you had just succeeded in your mission, we would’ve never been captured, and we might’ve stood a chance against Thanos. But as it stands now, all we had was your lack of conviction and pathetic excuse for power.”

“You wanna see power? I’ll show you power!” you responded, your fingertips sparking with purple energy.

“Oh, please. I would love to see you even try to--”

You threw your hand out, the purple energy shooting at him like a forcefield. It knocked into him, and threw him back into the counter. Loki quickly recovered from the blow, returning to an upright position quickly and gracefully. His eyes widened on you.

“I tell you the truth and this is how you respond? You violently attack me?” he asked darkly. “You claim to love me and yet you’re purposely trying to hurt me.”

“It’s not the truth. The truth is you were too afraid to actually be a man, and it’s because of that, that I lost everything I loved.”

A look of hurt and betrayal shadowed across Loki’s face. “Everything you loved?” he echoed. “So what was I then? Something to experiment on? Something that your curiosity got the better of? Now that you had to pay the price just for pretending to give a damn, you’re angry with me? You’re just like everyone else in my life. Using me for your own purpose. I was Thor’s doormat to walk all over, to look good in front of his friends and Odin. I was a relic for Odin to use when he felt the time would come. I was just a chess piece for Thanos. And to you I am nothing more than exotic creature you could pretend to care about for a while.”

“I nearly died for you,” you reminded, your breathing still labored from the attack.

“And I for you, but clearly that escapes your memory, so let me remind you,” he said, before stalking over to you and putting his cold hand on your head. His thumb hit your forehead and you gasped, not from the temperature, but from the memories.

The memories were yours. Of the worst time Loki was tortured in front of you. He was nearly completely on the ground, blood pouring from his ears, nose, and mouth as he looked at you. You begged Thanos to stop the horror, but all he said was, “Agree to be my winning token and I’ll spare his life… for now.”

You had finally agreed.

When Loki finally ripped his hand away from you, he was glaring at you with cold eyes. “Most of my torture could’ve been avoided if you’d just agreed to do his bidding. My pain came at your hands and your hands alone.”

“Me? You’re blaming me? I never asked you to take on the torturing.”

“And I never asked you to jump in after me, so it looks like we’re even. You gave up your life for me, and I gave up my health and sanity,” he retorted, dark mocking in his tone. “Quite the pair, aren’t we?”

You glared back at him, his words cutting into you, getting under your skin. “You don’t even realize how badly you’ve ruined my life do you? You might be fine with living your days out in this cell, but I’m not.”

“Well maybe I should’ve just let Thanos and The Other have at you then! Maybe then you’d have put more effort into trying to succeed at the mission.”

As he said his last word, you picked up a lamp, charged it with your energy, and hurled it at him, before he deflected it with his own magic easily, causing it to shatter against the glass wall.

“Did you ever think that it’s your fault my mother died? Hmm?” he asked, anger and patronizing in his voice. “If you had actually succeeded in your mission, we could be back on Asgard where I could’ve protected her!” His anger caused the glasses on the counter to fly off and hit the walls, making you dodge one of them.

“Maybe if you didn’t let go in the first place, and fall into an abyss, you could’ve been there yourself!” you retorted, charging another piece of furniture before ejecting it at him. Again, his reflexes were unparalleled and it simply crashed into tiny pieces on the glass wall..

Upstairs, the alarms for your cell were going off, tipping Tony off that there was an attempted breach at the cell wall.

“What the--?” he asked, glancing to the monitors. It stated that multiple objects had been thrown at the wall. He rolled his eyes and stopped what he was doing. “What the hell are they doing down there?” he muttered to himself before walking to the elevator. He reached your floor, stepped into the security hallway, then through the large metal doors. “Hey! What the hell is going on in here?” he asked, shouting over you two.

You turned to face him, ready to explain your side. “I’m just… upset. That’s all, Tony.”

“I’ve got all kinds of alarms going off upstairs. Are you two trying to bust out?” Tony asked, a little playfully.

You sighed and ran your hand through your hair. “No. I’m just… Our fight got out of hand, that’s all.”

“And what was this little lovers quarrel about?”

“I’m just… mad I can’t be there for Shannon, that’s all,” you answered.

“I want to feel sorry for you, Y/N/N, I really do. But see, you wouldn’t be in this mess if you had just come back to Earth and worked for me. You wouldn’t be in this cell, locked up with the poor child king who didn’t get enough hugs from his daddy. You could be upstairs with Shannon, helping to plan our wedding, be the maid of honor…”

Loki glared at Tony from far back in the cell.

At this, your anger and powers were triggered. One bad word about Loki, that’s all it took.

“Take it back,” you ordered, your demeanor changing, as you took another step toward the glass to get closer to him.

“Why? You know I’m right. It’s his fault you’re in this mess. And it pains me to see it. Do you know why? Because I have to watch the woman I love suffer, because you had to chase after some spoiled prince who wanted his dad’s job so bad he killed for it.”

“Tony, stop. Leave him out of this,” you tried, feeling the animal inside you grow. “This is between the two of us, not you.”

“Oh, but it is. Especially when you’re trashing the cell I built you, and breaking Shannon’s heart. So I have every right to make you feel as miserable about this as she is.” Tony broke eye contact with you and looked over to Loki. “Let me ask you something, do you feel good about this?”

“About what?” Loki snapped evenly, motionless as Tony got a better view of him.

“About all of this. Killing, destroying people’s lives. I mean, I think Shannon would kill me if I did half the shit you’ve pulled. And yet, you somehow manipulated Y/N here enough to love you. Now, you gotta tell me how you swung that.”

At that, you lunged at the glass, slamming into it. Your face fierce as you tried to get to Tony, pounding on the glass.

At that moment, Shannon was downstairs. JARVIS had informed her of the commotion going on and she made haste to get down to you. She walked in, seeing you like a wild animal, clawing to get out of the cell as Tony seemed to be taunting it on.

“Does it feel good to fuck with peoples lives? Tell me, do you do it for fun or is it just something that just happens to you?” Tony inquired, but Loki remained quiet.

You however, were going mad not being able to get to him. Your fists were slamming the glass, your lip curled up in disgust as you yelled incoherently at him.

Loki watched on in stunned horror. Of course, his face didn’t show that though. He was stoic as he watched you change. As he watched you turn into a ravenous bloodlusting goddess. He had done this to you. It was because of him that you were… entirely reprogrammed. You were no longer the innocent, sweet, and compassionate woman he’d met on Earth.

Loki had seen the way you moved before you fell into the portal and after the capture of New York. Before the fall you were pensive, quiet, but a sort of tamed whimsical to you. You mildly obsessed with your work and became animated over things you loved. You smiled constantly, but ever since you’d been in this cell… You’d been broken. Smiles, laughter, were few and far between. And that went for him and Shannon. It didn’t seem to matter who you were around, you were timid, on edge. You acted like an animal that had been beaten, mistreated, and abused. You didn’t even carry yourself with confidence.

He had noticed it. Sure, he’d seen the signs of you retreating into yourself. But that comes with isolation and loss of freedom… But it wasn’t until this moment where he really saw the true toll his affect had taken on you.

And now… this. You had never even raised your voice in your time on Asgard. And now, short of foaming mouth, you were a rabid animal.

“Y/N/N, back away from the glass before I do something to hurt you,” Tony warned in a tired voice.

But you didn’t hear anything. All you could hear was what Thanos had programmed in you -- your trigger, and now Tony was your target. So you were fighting with all your might to get to him.

“Don’t wanna listen? Alright.” He flipped up his watch before Shannon could stop him.

“Tony, no!” she begged, but she wasn’t quick enough. A powerful charge of voltage shocked through you, enough to send you flying into the wall, causing a dent in the drywall.

Loki feared for your life in that moment seeing as you hadn’t moved from where you landed in the wall. He rushed to your side at the same time that Shannon ran and quickly scanned her hand to enter the cell. Getting to your body faster than him, she began assessing your vitals and did an internal scan with her powers.

“There’s no internal damage but she will be unconscious for a good hour or two,” she told Loki without looking at him. She lifted your body up shocking both men because at 5’4 and curvy they didn’t believe her to be able to carry a person. That was one thing neither man knew about until that moment.

Loki followed Shannon all the way to the bedroom and saw how she held you with one arm while moving the covers to lay you down. He could see that he had made the mistake of believing that she was some mere mortal who only cared about herself, he could see how much you meant to her and that she was willing to jump in to make sure you were okay. He watched how carefully you were laid down and covered up making sure the strand of hair was moved from your eye.

“Thank you for making sure that she’s okay,” was all he could say.

“I didn’t do it for you, I did it for her because she’s my family and I would never let anything happen to her.” Loki could see she was worried for you but there was also anger in her eyes she left the room, and he curiously followed after her.

“What the fuck, Tony?” she said as she walked out of the cell. “Why did you turn on the shock system in the cell?” She was mad at him and Loki could see it in the way she walked up to him.

His face faltered seeing the anger in her eyes “Babe… she was acting irrational. She could have broken the glass and gotten out,” he tried to defend himself.

“It’s reinforced glass with a very thick plastic in between the layers of glass. It was built for Hulk. You and I both know she wouldn’t have gotten out,” she grounded out trying not to let the anger get to her. “So, what? The rational thing was to render her unconscious?” she asked, furious.

“Well… probably not but she was going to get herself hurt.” He knew that was no excuse.

“You do realize that she was acting that way because of the trigger, right?”

“What the hell triggered her?”

“You! Talking that way about Loki… Thanos did it to her, to keep her angry during the fight in New York. If he could keep people angry with Loki, and people negative about him, he could keep her insane… and dangerous.”

“Well how was I supposed to know?” he asked incredulously.

“Tony stop, you had no right to do any of this. Whether you knew or not, you just knocked my best friend unconscious.” She looked tired. He could tell she was trying hard not to let the anger get to her. “I really wasn’t expecting you to do something like this.” She sounded disappointed she walked away from the room not letting Tony say anything more. The day had gone from nearly perfect to horrible in a matter of a few hours.

---------------------

It was hours later that Loki came in the bedroom. He contemplated not coming in at all. He was going to sleep on the couch, to give you space. But he had been pacing for hours since you’d been knocked out. He was incredibly worried about you. Shannon said you’d be fine, but you hadn’t moved for over seven hours, which had him concerned.

He quietly stepped into the bedroom and gently sat down on the edge of the bed. Silence flowed throughout the cell, as it often did, thanks to no access to music. A war was waging inside him on whether or not he should talk. On one hand, he didn’t want to wake you, but on the other, the words inside him were eating him alive.

He wrung his hands before diving in.

“I know it’s my fault we’re here… you don’t think I’m eaten alive with guilt every day?” He peered down at you, you were facing away from him, your eyes closed, your breathing even. He marveled at your soft hair. He smiled down at you. “I wish every day you never followed me into that portal. That this was mine alone to bear…”

Some more silence filled the space.

“As much as I love you, and cherish your love, if it meant your freedom and happiness I wish you had never even met me.”

A tear rolled down your cheek. You realized he didn’t think you were awake, and you didn’t often see a side of him so vulnerable, so you stayed quiet. Not to mention, you weren’t sure you were in a headspace to talk to Loki. All those things you said to him… did you even really feel that way? Were you just tired of being cooped up? Were you just throwing your anger in his face when really you were just mad at the situation?

“It was never Thor’s fault, or Odin’s… It was me. I was the failure. I couldn’t accept that, so I took it out on my family… The truth is, I never felt good enough, and I knew that… but I drug you down with me, and for that I am truly sorry. I never intended for you to be some sort of recompense for my shortcomings.”

Another tear rolled down your cheek before he spoke again.

“I just wanted you to know that, even if you didn’t hear it. I needed to admit that, at some point. You were right… It is my fault that we’re here, and I’m sorry for being the reason your life is ruined. The reason you can’t be with your friends and loved ones. If I could get you out of here without me, I would do whatever I could… I am so sorry, my love. I wish I could make this right.”

He leaned down and kissed the side of your head.

“I love you so much… And I don’t deserve you…”

You felt the bed shift and he stood up to leave.

“Don’t go,” was all you said.

He stilled for a moment before returning to the bed, where you rolled over and faced him, putting your arm around him.

“I’m sorry,” you quietly said, stroking his cheek.

He shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“I do. I shouldn’t take my frustrations out on you. It was my choice and mine alone to follow you into that portal. And even though I’ve lost everything… I would do it all over again for you.”

Loki half smiled. “As lovely as that is to hear, I’m not sure if I want to be the reason you hurt your loved ones.”

You shook your head. “You aren’t… That giant space grape was,” you assured. “That wasn’t you. We’re moving forward, all of us,” you said gently.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

You smiled sweetly at him before pulling him closer to you, and kissing him earnestly, a suggestion behind your kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr @kaelingoat @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo @damalseer

@heyitscam99 @yknott81 @sorryimacrapwriter @glitterquadricorn @xxqueenofisolationxx @little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama @bittersweetunicorm @alyssaj23 @sea040561​ @princess76179​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @sarahp879​ @malfoysqueen14​ @ellallheart​ @breezy1415​ @marvelmayo​ @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @cocosierra94 @hardcollectionworldtrash @capsmuscles @marvelloushamilton @paintballkid711​

Loki: @lostinspace33​ @ultrarebelheart​ @lenawiinchester​ @esoltis280​ @tngrayson​ @wangdeasang​ @harrymewmew @jayfantasyatyourservice​

UC: @lokis-high-priestess​

@pandacookieowo​

[malereader-inserts]

When Flowers Bloom

Fandom: Avengers Pairing: Tony Stark x Male!Reader Summary: Soulmates are funny things, sometimes the road to finding them isn’t so one way. Word Count: 1,488 Request: @marc-isthename “The touchy flowery soulmate-y thingy that I kinda thought of in the middle of the night 😄 ye that one 😛” A/n: I actually don’t know the flowery soulmate AU but I gave it a go, okay, I admit, this is a bit messy

Tony hated the dreaded question.

“What about you, Tony? Have you met your soulmate?”

All Tony could answer was “Well, in a way.”

Because Tony has already met them, but at the same time he hadn’t. Tony wasn’t expecting anything to happen that day, the only time he decides to actually walk out the Stark building to have a nice stroll around New York, he bumps into his assuming soulmate.

Which sucks because he doesn’t know who it is.

But, Tony knows he’s found his soulmate because he felt a sharp pain in his head and on his hand, lifting his hands up to find red camellias blooming across the back of his hands. Yet, when he stretches his neck to find anyone doing the same as him, he couldn’t find them.

Swept away from him.

So, when someone notices his flower, he instinctively pulls down the sleeve of whatever item of clothing he was wearing because he’s embarrassed. He desperately wants to meet whoever he’s destined to be with and hopes whoever that maybe won’t shut him out.

Tony had a fascination with blooming flowers, so when the flowers bloomed on his skin he forgets his journey to grab some coffee and makes a dash for his office. Pepper looked amused when she saw Tony look all excited for a moment, then she noticed the vibrant red flowers on his right hand.

Camellias were given the meaning "my destiny is in your hands,” Tony didn’t know if he could handle so much responsibility. 

“Camellias also mean longevity, desire, passion, perfection and excellence,” Pepper educated Tony, who finally looks up from his hand, a small smile on her face, “Did you not meet?”

“Pulled away by the crowd before I could figure out who it was,” Tony explains, sighing longing as he rubs his left thumb over the flowers, which caused them to close before opening again.

“Well, whoever it may be, thinks you are of perfection and hopes for your successfulness. Whoever it may be, believes that they will love you strongly as the flower suggests.”

Pepper and Rhodey became very protective of Tony in the next few months because they know the story that Tony hadn’t exactly met his soulmate but when the Avengers asks, they immediately think that either Tony or Tony’s soulmate had shut them out - refused to be soulmates, refused the bond.

But, all Tony ever dreamt of, all he’s ever wanted was to be loved.

He wonders what his could be, what flower had bloomed on his soulmate’s hand. 

So, when the Avengers found out the reason about Tony’s flowers, they went into protecting Tony mode - they would always divert topics or interrupt conversations if the question was asked or anything related to the flower.

“You’ll find them again, don’t lose hope.”

He doesn’t want to be part of the cohort of people who never meet their soulmate.

“They’re out there!”

Tony wonders, if his soulmate was searching for him. He wonders if his soulmate smiles when they gaze upon the blooming flower on the dorsal side of their hand, just like Tony does. 

And, he wonders, if they ever use the flowers to ground them because when Tony is losing his sense of reality, the charming red flowers that mimick the movements of it in the wind brings him back to his senses.

Then, he fanaticises who he may be bonded to because, in the back of his mind, he reminds himself to thank them for gracing his skin.

Tony leans back in his seat, running his hand through his hair as he stares at the screen that had been mocking him for the past hours.

“May I suggest sleep?”

“No, you cannot Jarvis,” Tony grumbles, rubbing his eyes as he pulls his feet off the table, “What time is it?”

“Five thirty, sir,  Mr Rogers have left the tower for his morning run half an hour ago. Dr Banner has just fallen asleep and the two assassins are still asleep.” Jarvis updated.

Tstretchesches his back, popping his joints into place and reliving the stress in his muscles as he stands up.

“Any coffee shops open?” Tony asked, pulling a jacket over himself.

“One, sir, twenty-four hours open. I’ll send the location to your phone.”

Tony nods as he sleepily heads out to the elevator, he looks down at the phone and noticed the walk to the coffee shop was only five minutes away. It was quiet in the morning, granted it was so early, Tony stops to admire the sun coming up to shine upon New York. 

The streets of New York was bare, manageable for Tony. At least, there was no one to bother him. The coffee store he finds himself entering was small and cosy, the smell was very inviting. 

Tony makes his way to the counter to be invited by a girl who looked equally tired, though he had noticed how she had widened her eyes when she noticed who was standing before her. Tony didn’t know whether if she was taking an early shift or night shift.

“Just coffee, black,” Tony responded, he needed something strong to keep him awake for the next twelve-hour period.

“Mhm, okay, sir,” She nods, “To go?”

Tony nodded and thought she was the only one until a man comes from the back, carrying a coat in his hand. Tony smiles at the tired man, who smiled back and Tony couldn’t help but find the smile charming.

“(Y/n)? You can’t possibly leave now when you have one more coffee to make.” The girl calls out, making you stop.

You stare at Tony Stark, star-struck at the man, before placing your jacket under the counter and grabbed the to-go cup. You weren’t missing the opportunity to make Tony Stark his coffee no matter how tired you were from night shift. 

As you finished making the coffee, you hand the cup to him with a smile, “Just coffee, black,” You recited his words back to him.

You brushed his hand when he takes the cup and notices a burning sensation throbbing in your head. You blinked a couple of times as you dumbfoundedly stared at Tony.

Tony stares at you, a disbelief breath escape his lips, but he mimics your reaction, his lips pulling into a smile.

“I’ve missed you the first time,” Tony jokes, as you nod silently, “(Y/n).”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement of your name. He must have heard it when your fellow worker calls your name. He likes how naturally it rolls off the tongue, he smiles and you can’t help but smile back.

“Can I?” You asked, pointing to his hand.

Tony nods enthusiastically, bringing his hand to you, proudly showing it off to you, you run your least dominant hand over the flowers, which move in the direction of your movements, watching them react positively with your touch you looked in awe.

“Do you know what it means?”

“Red Camellias, longevity, desire, passion, perfection and excellence,” Tony beams.

You nodded, the flower meaning ringing a familiarity, “My destiny is in your hands.”

Then you bring up your dominate hand, placing on the counter. There, Tony sees blue flowers graced upon the dorsal side of your hand. You smile at them, a tingling sensation runs through you when Tony leans on the counter, elbows supporting him as it was his turn to touch your hand.

You stare at him fondly, he wasn’t the genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, he wasn’t Iron Man at the very moment. He was Tony Stark, the soulmate you were desperately trying to find in the passing month. 

“Forget-Me-Not,” You informed him, as he looks up at the sound of your voice, “Of course, other than it’s obvious meaning by its name. It also represents true love, a symbol of fidelity, long-lasting connections.”

“Forget-Me-Not,” Tony echos.

“In my opinion, Tony,” His name found home to your mouth, it was natural sounding when you speak, “you’re hard to forget.”

“I doubt that I’ll be forgotten soon enough, the world will forget about me.”

“Well, then, I hope they’ll remember you.”

There was a clear tone in your voice, sharp and full of pride. Tony drops his flowered hand next to yours on the counter as you both watched how the two flowers slowly integrate home on both, you and him. The red and blue clashing yet so artistically. 

“I’ll remember you,” You continue, “I mean your flowers like to say so.”

You throw back the meaning of the flowers back at him, you grinned at him, a sense of mischief gleamed in your eyes. Tony couldn’t help but noticed the bubbling feeling inside him fester, he was excited what life would be with you, so he does the same and throws the Camellias’ meaning back at you.

“Well, then, I guess you shouldn’t worry if your destiny is in my hands.”

[anasticklefics]

Tickle-E

Part 2

Fandom: MCU

Characters: Tony Stark/Steve Rogers

Summary: Tony builds a bot to fill his tickle needs, but of course Steve wants to know what it is.

A/N: Breaking my hiatus to post this sudden idea I was hit with tonight and immediately wrote. I hope you like it :)

Words: 1 313

Tony wasn’t sure why it had never occurred to him - or maybe it had, and he’d simply been too ashamed to give into the urge. Now, slightly tipsy and touch starved as hell, seemed as the most appropriate time to stumble into his lab and try to create something he would never let anyone else see. It didn’t need to be pretty. Mostly it needed to be discreet, in case someone did accidentally catch sight of it. He could do that. Like packaging a vibrator real neatly and subtly so that the mailman would have no idea. Easy.

He had a few options he could choose from. He could either make it something inanimate; an object he could strap onto his torso, have it vibrate or give off shocks that would lead to the desired result. Or he could give it a personality. Not necessarily like JARVIS. He already felt shy enough at times when JARVIS commented on something. But then again, to have the robot tease him… He shivered just thinking about it.

But no. He needed the discretion, at least a little bit. He needed Dum-E, but with another perspective when it came to helping. He only needed help with one specific thing from this bot.

So he built a smaller version of Dum-E, but with several arms and much more strength. It was rather easy, once he’d decided how to do it. He painted it gray, almost silver. Subtle and easy to store away; a black briefcase-life box to put it into when he knew he wouldn’t need it for a while. In his head he named it Tickle-E, even though the bot was very much his ler.

This was embarrassing. No one could know. Once he’d finished he had to leave it be for a day, feeling much too timid. Too pathetic to live up to the fact that he’d built it.

He circled it warily when he returned to the lab, having instructed JARVIS to let no one onto the floor. To alert him if anyone even entered the building.

Tickle-E would’ve blinked at him had Tony givet it eyelids. Or eyes.

“Hello,” he said. He never felt stupid talking to his creations, but he did feel a little silly talking to this particular one. “I built you out of a great need.” He crouched down to reach its nonexistent eyelevel. “I’m hoping you can help me.”

Tickle-E beeped, happy to be of service. Happy to have been created.

Tony smiled, almost shyly. “We’re gonna have some laughs together, you and I, aren’t we, Tick?”

And laughing he did. So much so that he almost didn’t need to use it again for days. Almost.

Tony got so used to Tick that he rarely stored it away. No one asked about it. It wasn’t a particularly eye catching bot. It gave absolutely no secrets away, and his lab was full enough of exciting things that people generally didn’t notice if he skipped out of introducing that particular one to them.

And then Steve fucking Rogers walked into his life.

Steve, with his fascination for everything, at least once his guard was down, and with Tony it had been slowly going down over the year. Now, the two of them unable to describe what they were just yet, Tony finally invited him into his lab for a guided tour.

“That’s Dum-E,” he was saying, pointing to the bot that always delighted people and always got delighted by people in return. It was cute, watching Steve interact with it. But then, naturally, he had to spot Tickle-E in the corner.

“Who’s that?” he asked. Tony was so astounded over the fact that he said ‘who’ and not ‘what’ that he forgot to blush at first.

“Oh, that?” He turned to Tick, cursing himself for not storing it away. “It’s Dum-E’s sibling.”

“What does it do?”

Shit shit shit. “Looks cute, mostly.”

“Can I meet it?”

“It’s sleeping.”

“Oh.”

Tony put his hand on Steve’s back, his desperation making him bold. “Wanna see my latest suit?”

Thinking that was that, he soon forgot about the near miss, but months later, after their first and second and tenth kiss, they were in Tony’s lab again. Tick was, once again, visible in its usual corner, but this time Steve wouldn’t let his curiosity get dampened, apparently.

“What’s its name, at least?”

“Tick.”

“Tick.” Steve tried the name out. “Hmm, no, I can’t really think of what that name could indicate.”

“Not all my creations have a purpose. Sometimes I just make them.”

“Can we wake it? I would like to meet it.”

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I can’t see why not.” Wrong. He could see many reasons why not.

Thanking his past self for not installing something stupid, like having Tick wake up and scream “It’s tickle time!” at the top of its artificial lungs, he woke the bot up for the first time in ages. He hadn’t needed it. Steve, while unaware of his desires, had found him being ticklish too great to not torture him.

The bot beeped happily at him.

“Hey, yeah, I’ve missed you too,” Tony said, patting it’s head. “I’d like you to meet someone.”

Steve chatted with Tick like he’d chatted with Dum-E, making sure not to coo too much, as if afraid to baby it. It was amazing, watching someone who took this seriously.

“And what do you do?” he asked Tick, stroking its back. “You wanna show me?”

This was so utterly unexpected that Tony hadn’t even thought he would have to install some sort of filter, but when the bot extended its arms and grabbed onto Steve’s wrists, Tony nearly strained a foot from how quickly he ran toward them.

“Tick, no, no, wait-”

But the bot was already at it, restraining Steve just enough to run the rather agile points of its limbs over Steve’s belly, a process Tony knew to be incredibly ticklish.

By the time Tony got Tick to stop, Steve had already started giggling like a maniac, unprepared and unused to not being able to break free. Tony hadn’t realized you could probably use Tick to torture information out of people if you wanted to.

“What was that?” Steve asked once the bot had let go of him, standing proudly while Tony glared daggers at it.

“That,” he said, turning back to Steve despite wanting to hide. “Was a tickle bot.”

“A tickle bot?”

“Its full name is Tickle-E. Clever, huh?”

“Why do you have a tickle bot?”

“To torture people?”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Of course.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you thought better of me. I know, I know.”

“Tony.”

Tony deflated. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Come here.”

Tony did, letting Steve’s hand caress his cheek, the back of his beck, before finally landing on his jaw. It felt good, but Tony would do anything to avoid his gaze right now.

“If you wanted to be tickled so badly you could’ve just asked me.”

Tony spluttered, Steve laughing when he hid his face in his chest. “You’re mean. And besides, I made Tick years ago. Before you.”

“Do you still use it?”

“Not often.”

“I would love to see you be tickled by it.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Not at all.” Steve’s hand was skittering over his lower back, making him squirm. “I could take notes. Find your most ticklish spots without breaking a sweat.”

“Don’t be mean.”

“I’m not, though. You like the sound of that, don’t you?”

Tony didn’t reply.

“See?” Steve’s hand moved to his side, agonizingly slow. “And when you’re done I can carry you upstairs and throw you on the bed and finish you off.”

“That’s… Steve, I don’t think you understand what that means.”

“I understand completely.”

A beat, and, “Okay, Tick, my turn.”

[anika-ann]

Heart Too Cold, but Friends of Gold - Pt.7

The Fall

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 1850

Summary: Avenger!reader AU. Part 2 of Melting Hearts series. Part 1 HERE.

Time flies and yet it doesn’t. Least for Steve. And just when he thinks things can’t get worse... his past comes back to haunt him.

(Short dealing with CA:TWS )

Warnings: swearing, angst

Story Masterlist

────── ·❆· ──────

Time flew and yet every second felt like forever. After a year of searching, something in Steve broke.

Maybe it was the pitiful looks, because despite everyone missing Frosty – and everyone called you Frosty by now, a sort of a tribute that felt like a punch to Steve’s solar plexus –, they all knew Steve was the one closest to you; after all, your relationship had been very intimate even before it had transformed into a romantic one.

The one-year anniversary was painful. Funnily enough, he woke up shivering from cold and that was perhaps the worst of it all, the most obvious reminder of what day it was. The girl who controlled ice and snow was missing by his side and the cold was getting to him every day of her absence, a sensation he had seemed to be immune after spending seventy years in ice; that had been until you had left.

Waking up on the couch, once again alone and cold, he actually found his eyes watering right in the beginning of the day. You were still gone. It was as if you had disappeared into a thin air. Even after such a long time, even after so many missions they had been through, after all the attempts to find you when discovering the tinniest lead; he still remembered what had happened right after you went under.

The unconscious bastard was lying at his feet as Natasha had delivered the final punch. He wanted to shoot her a murderous look for cutting off their source of information, but the truth was that there was probably nothing more Michaels could tell them. He had said enough. He had told them how he had manipulated you into running away.

Steve clenched his jaw, his mind racing as he paced out the cell, passing his friends on his way. He went straight for the elevator.

“Hey! Rogers! Where do you think you’re going?” Natasha yelled after him, barely keeping up with his long rapid steps.

“JARVIS, gimme the e-mail she sent. Now.”

“Captain Rogers, I’m not sure Agent Romanoff should be present for-“

“NOW.”

The elevator door was closing when Clint’s hand slipped through, stopping it. Both Barton and Stark stepped into the cabin to feed Steve’s annoyance. They hold the elevator for Banner too.

Well, then the whole team would hear the message.

“What about her GPS?” Natasha offered as Tony continued drawing on his tablet and ordered the staff to relocate Michaels to a cell with an actual door; Steve didn’t even feel guilty for ruining it, it had gotten into his way and he had needed to move goddammit.

Tony’s brows furrowed. “Negative. It was the first thing I tried. She must have turned it off.”

“She can do that?” Clint questioned with his eyebrow raised. The look in his eyes was surprised, but serious and calculating. His thoughts must have been changing within fractions of seconds too, trying to figure out your possible next steps.

“Well, yeah. I didn’t want her to be able to do that, but someone insisted that she had the right to keep her privacy when going out and stuff.”

Steve’s fist collided with the wall of the rising elevator before he even realized he lifted his hand.

“Hey! Cool it, Rogers!”

Steve’s teeth grinded at Stark’s admonishing. “Can you re-activate it?”

Tony remained silent, a clear indication that things were bad enough to shut up his witty mouth. He didn’t need to reply for everyone to know that the answer was no.

“I already put my eyes on every camera in States and started a search for any weather anomaly, especially temperature drops. She might be a bit emotionally instable-“

Steve glared at him.

“-you know what I mean. She was misbehaving a little when stressed by the kidnapping. She could slip. And when she does, we’ll know and find her.”

The cabin fell into silence.

“But she won’t,” Clint stated, his voice thoughtful and regretful. Steve eyed him carefully, his heart clenching. You couldn’t be gone so easily, right? They would find you. Even if the price was you failing to keep your powers in check.

“Why would you say that?” Bruce questioned.

“He’s right,” Natasha agreed, her lips thin line. “She won’t. This is different – there’s no immediate danger, it’s not up to her to save someone. Her only goal is to remain hidden so no one will find her and use her to get to Steve. She’ll be focused on that part.”

Steve swallowed loudly as he realized Natasha and Clint were right. The redhead knew you too well and despite how hard she would try to deny it if anyone asked, she had a special connection with you just thanks to being a woman. As for Clint… he was good at predicting behaviour since he was often observing from a distance.

Steve should be better than them. He should know you better, you spent the most time with him, but somehow it didn’t feel like he did.

What would you do? Where would you go? How would you do it? He needed to get his thoughts straight, goddammit.

Steve tightened his fists, returning his attention to Stark as the elevator dinged and its door opened.

“Keep looking. Natasha, call Fury. We need to close every single airport,” he barked orders, heading for his and your room.

“What are you gonna do?” Tony shouted after him. Steve only got a murmured reply he couldn’t hear.

“I’ve got an e-mail to read.”

It hadn’t been a surprise when he had found the e-mail explaining what Michaels had told you and asking Steve not to look for you. It was about as shocking as him not complying with your wish and starting the search. He had called Matt Murdock back then, begging for him to prick up his ears and immediately let them know if you contacted him or if he overheard any tiny bit.

Needless to say it had been all for nothing.

A year of searching and no result had popped out, not a real one. Steve was done.

That day, he came to conclusion he couldn’t stand being in the Tower anymore. He moved to Washington D.C., claiming it was advantageous for him to be closer to the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. He was lying through his teeth and everyone knew it, yet no one said a word.

Natasha followed, using the same excuse. Everyone knew she was lying as well and no one called her out on that either.

────── ·❆· ──────  

For all the people he had lost, Steve found comfort in Peggy Carter. Now it would be a lie if he said that there was no pain in those meetings too, seeing her after her whole life happened during his time as a ‘Capsicle’, only space for more regrets remaining, but at least she was still here.

Close to the headquarters, he could afford going from one mission straight into another, yet being ready to take off if any new information about your whereabouts popped out.

After the fiasco with hostages on the Lemurian Star and Natasha’s separate mission, after Natasha keeping secrets from him – her from all people, one of the rare species he had trusted with his life –, it would be an understatement to say he had doubts about S.H.I.E.L.D. and its methods. Talking to Peggy helped, but words could only as much.

But remembering you, remembering the agency once helping you – even though that was mostly Tony and his tech – was one of the reasons he was staying. Together with the fact he had no chance of finding you without the agency’s resources and tech support.

When Director Fury was murdered, things spiralled. HYDRA turned out to still exist and what more, to be still very much active. It left Steve with no doubts of who was truly after you, but finally discovering it was no comfort at all. He and Natasha becoming the most wanted was just the cherry on top. At least he found a friend and an ally where he hadn’t expected it.

────── ·❆· ──────  

Natasha was in the shower and Steve didn’t feel like explaining their situation to his new friend Sam on his own. He needed a minute to breathe and while he knew it was a luxury he couldn’t quite afford, he decided it couldn’t do that much harm.

He pulled out the photos he kept in his wallet – there was a line at each of them in the middle as he had been unfolding them too often. Both were of you.

He stared at the one where the two of you were together, lying on a hospital bed, cuddled impossibly close to each other. There were plenty of photos of you two that the team had snatched during your time together without either of you two noticing, but this was his favourite, no matter how strange it may seem. It was a reminder of the moment when you had told him you loved him for the first time, the careful declaration that had had a hidden meaning at the time; and on top of that, it reminded him how fragile you could be and how he had to appreciate every moment with you, because you might not be there the next. He would know that for a while now.

Steve sighed, sparing one more glance at the picture before folding it again and hiding it with care. He unfolded the other one, his lips curling up in a fond smile automatically.

It was an old photo as well, only this time it was just you. It was when you had been getting a hold of your powers; the photo captured the moment you had created a tiny spiral of ice growing from your hand. Your eyes in the picture were wide and shining in awe, the first spark of true happiness since you had gained your powers. You were watching your creation as if it was magical, your expression one of the astonished ones that the kids wore when seeing a Christmas tree for the first time in their lives. Steve remembered you had looked at him after the photo had been taken, giving him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, so grateful and so blinding for him. He had fell in love with that smile, with you, just like that; it had been when he had realized for the first time that you somehow managed to steal his heart.

“That Frostbite?” a voice startled him from behind and Steve winced.

A pang of shame coloured his cheeks at being caught, but more importantly, the two simple words made his stomach clench.

“She hated that alias,” Steve whispered, not quite caring if it was appropriate to share. He needed someone to listen, just for a second. He had been pushing it all away for so long… and he needed to correct Sam. “It fed the guilt in her – she wasn’t too good with her powers when she first discovered them.”

“Sorry. She looks… happy here. Harmless. As if all she ever wanted was to create an ice slide for kids or something.”

One corner of Steve’s lips quirked up involuntarily. “Yeah… I think she would like that.”

“That why she retired? …what? I do catch up with the news, you know. She hasn’t been seen for a while.”

“She… she went under. Someone – HYDRA, I presume now – was threatening her. Hurt her parents and threatened m-“ he stammered, not wanting to say the word ‘me’ out loud and admit it was all on him. “-and threatened some more.  She wanted to protect--- them. No matter the cost.“

He licked his lips, taking a deep breath, swallowing against the lump growing in is throat. He couldn’t make himself meet Sam’s eyes, the heavy feeling of guilt, the feeling of failing you falling on his shoulders with a weight heavier than ever.

On the other hand, maybe it was good you weren’t with him now. They had a lot on their plates – and a whole lot more people coming after them. The last thing you needed was another spotlight on you.

Actually, maybe this whole mess could help you stay hidden beeter; they sure were distracting HYDRA enough. Of course, the circumstances were less than ideal. And he could never be sure that HYDRA hadn’t got you already.

“Sounds like your kind of person,” Sam offered gently and Steve snorted humourlessly, putting the photo away. Something in Sam’s tone told him he was aware of how much of ‘his’ you were. Or had been, anyway. “I’m sorry, man. So you’re looking for her?”

“The whole S.H.I.E.L.D. is looking for her. Including HYDRA, apparently. If they haven’t found her already.”

Sam’s hand landed on Steve’s shoulder. “Hey. I don’t know her personally, but she seems pretty badass. I’m sure they didn’t get to her, otherwise you would know. From what I heard and saw, she can take care of herself. No doubt learned from the best.”

“Damn right, Wilson. Are we doing things now or what?” Natasha entered the room with her voice firm and determined.

“Yeah. Let’s talk about how to bring those sons of bitches down.”

“…we?”

────── ·❆· ──────  

The fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. and hopefully the leadership of HYDRA felt like pressing a restart button. Steve had run to Washington to escape the suffocating air in the Tower where your perfume seemed to linger and all he got was this. Too many things had happened. When adding Bucky to all the mess…

It was as if he kept losing people he loved, as if he kept failing them. He couldn’t do that anymore. He needed to go after Bucky and trust Natasha to search for you; it was one of the hardest decisions he had ever made. He wasn’t giving up on you – hell no. But unlike with Bucky, there were no leads on you. Even with all HYDRA secrets uncovered and uploaded on the internet, there was no word on you; but it was a little comfort that they probably didn’t have you.

Fury went under, giving his goodbye to the trio by a gravestone with his name. Steve and Natasha parted ways, Sam joining him; the ex-military understood the urge to go after a friend, himself not being able to save his own. Steve was grateful.

The world he was finally getting to know fell apart once again. He couldn’t help but wish you were with him to help him survive the fall.

But you weren’t.

────── ·❆· ──────  

Part 8

────── ·❆· ──────  

Tags:  @mermaidxatxheart​​, @murdermornings​​, @elisaa-shelby​​ @ask-hellbent-tweek​ @cxptain​, @kallafrench​​, @smilexcaptainx​ @scentedsongrebel​, @orions-nebula

────── ·❆· ──────  

Such a huge time skip. But well, I wanted to get it out of the way. I’ll deal with Age of Ultron with a little more plot, I promise;)  Thank you for reading!

[fablesrose]

Of Kings and Shadows IV

Chapter IV

Description: Y/n, a girl who seems to have found her calling. Being a SHIELD agent is like a dream come true. With a friendship starting to form with the Avengers, she’s the Queen of the world! What could go wrong?

Pairings: Avengers x reader, Loki x reader (eventually)

Notes: Find it on Wattpad --> Here

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Violence

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only thing on my mind when I got back was to get out of these sweaty clothes and take a shower.

Ever since that successful mission with the Avengers a couple weeks back I've been one more and more missions. Some in the new drone program, others, break in and blow stuff up, and still others, like this one, infiltration. Today it had to be quick, no extended period of time. In, get as much footage and information as possible, mostly about their tech and advancements for now, and get the heck out of there before they started to realize that they had extra agents in their halls.

I was in the team that went to the computers. Well, the back up, cuz we're smart enough not to go into the center heavily guarded computer lab and ask for them to download everything onto a flash drive... The back up was a room in a far corner, hooked up to the main lab, but all the info went to it, just in case. It could be readily accessible in case of emergency and they had to evacuate.

The progress on their largest, latest, and most dangerous projects were downloaded, and a bug placed in their system to spy and get the rest later. The computer room was hot, only too small of fans going to cool it down. The thick Hydra jacket wasn't helping in the temperature dilemma either. I dreaded having to replace the helmet and visor when we had to leave.

It went without a hitch, in and out. Now the shower was in the forefront of my mind. With my helmet on my head, for one, it was too hard to take off with all the straps, and two. for keeping my hands free for other stuff, I headed to my locker. The visor was put away immediately. I could almost feel the stream of water in my back, and the steam gently touching my face when the dream was crushed.

"Agent l/n!"

It was Brian Fletcher. Agent Brian Fletcher. He's been the dude in charge in... pretty much all of the missions I've been on in the past couple weeks. I learned his name on the second mission with him, and learned he was one who actually deserved respect twice as quickly. Incredible agent, and from what time I've spent working with him he seems like a good man. One thing is for sure, he's been doing this for a long time and knows what he's doing.

"y/n, I'm gonna need you to go down to the workshop... or where ever Mr. Stark is and give this to him." He handed me a file which I assumed had the information we just recovered.

"Yes, sir. I'll grab a quick shower and hand it off. "

"No, now."

I resisted the urge to groan, but failed to withhold, "why?"

Before I could retract the statement, or Brian could answer, there was a voice from across the locker room, "Because you're the only one here that Tony likes!"

He looked at me with a look that said, 'they have a point'

And I'd be lying if I didn't say I mirrored the expression.

So, I took the file, not bothering to take anything off, since this is so important. I trudged down the hallway, in the most respectful way possible.

I nodded to those I knew as I passed, the file securely in my hand. There were a few double takes at the uniform, but were quickly resolved once they noticed how disheveled the open jacket looked and saw my face. Which, looking back may not have been the best reaction, and wasn't a good decision on my part in the first place either...  

Oh well.

I finally made it to the lab/workshop/whatever you want to call it. That shower was still calling my name, so I wanted to get this over as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the commute to Tony's den was not short, and my legs were not getting any younger. Fortunately, we have been making the Avengers compound our landing base, so it wasn't like I had to go from SHIELD headquarters to find him.

I knocked on the window, but the music was playing really loud to be heard over the louder machinery. Since he wasn't gonna let me in I decided to see if JARVIS would let me in.

"Hey, Jarvis"

"Yes ma'am"

"I've got orders to give this file to Tony, can I get in there?"

"It is open miss"

The door moved a little bit to show it was now open. It kinda made me wonder if it was open all along, but there wasn't anything telling me it was so I didn't think too hard about it.

"Thank you sir" I said it in a little sing song to show my appreciation without all the formal crap.

"Of course miss"

I could feel the bass guitar rattle my bones in just the right way. In the short time that I listened to it I could tell that it was an AC DC song, but not exactly which one. Not that I should know, I only did have about five on my recognizable list.

Right then Tony's peripheral vision must have picked me up as he stood up knocking his chair over behind him. It probably would have been smart of me if I had noticed he was working on a repulsor. That was on his hand. And now charged up. And pointed at me.

As any regular sane person, I didn't want to be blown sky high, so I raised my hands and made sure my face was visible so he could see who I was and that I was no threat. There was a tense probably ten seconds (which felt like hours, but you don't wanna know that) where the only movement was the metal shavings on the floor, vibrating with the guitar rifts.

"Mr. Stark? Its me, Agent Y/n L/n?"

He blinked a couple times, like he was clearing his vision. I realized he was probably really tired, and plus looking at something so small and close probably messed with his eyes. After a second he seemed to have registered who I was and smiled.

I let out a breath, then figured I had better explain why I scared him half to death.

"Hey so I was sent to give you this file, right away. I'm pretty sure it contains information we just acquired from that HYDRA base we just infiltrated." I set the file on his desk then had an idea. "Hey Jarvis?"

"Yes miss?"

"Make sure Mr. Stark doesn't forget this file, please?"

"Consider it done"

I smiled, "Thank you!"

I looked back at Tony to see that he was lowering his hand with the state of the art in weapon tech strapped to it.  I was only alerted something was amiss when I noticed his eyes widen and look slightly above and behind me.

Then I was thrown into a wall.

The gut feeling washed over me too late. Maybe it wasn't even that gut feeling. Maybe it was just the churning from being tossed across the room, high enough in the air as to miss most of the equipment in the room.  Whatever it was... It didn't help me at all.

My vision went black, and I felt light headed as if I stood up too quickly. Before I could recover, a hand wrapped itself around my throat. My vision came back slowly, but not before that same hand lifted me along the wall so high that my feet no longer touched the floor. They seemed to know what they were doing as they held me in a manner that limited my airflow, but left enough open for me to answer.

Or die slowly.

"That symbol has no place here!"

I finally saw who it was, and my eyes widened in shock.

Loki.

I didn't even know he was released and approved, yet. That being said, maybe he wasn't. The only thing that mattered that he was either gonna question me, hurt me, or kill me, in the next few minutes. Who knows? Maybe all three.

"What were you going to do to the tin man!?"

He tightened his grip, a threat to answer. His over eagerness betrayed him, however. My view started shrinking. His questions faded out, the shower that was so wanted before, now seemed like an out of reach luxury. One I no longer wanted or thought about. The only thing on my mind was the pain of being slammed yet again into the wall, and the ever decreasing oxygen supply.

I smacked at his hand. Tried to pull it apart. In a last ditch effort I kicked my legs. One of my feet hit something, it was obvious it was on the side of his body as my heal glanced off of him. It caused him to bend at the hip, causing less pressure up against the wall.

I started to slide down and used the opportunity to smack his hand off of my throat. Dropping the rest of the way to the ground, I crawled away, instincts kicking in.

"Woah, woah, woah!"

I fell on the ground trying to catch my breath. I could see Tony step between me and my assailant, back to me, holding his hands up in a non-threatening manner.

My hands started ripping off the helmet, which I suppose I should be grateful for, and then throwing the jacket as far away from me as possible revealing in full the SHIELD cut off sleeved t-shirt underneath. It seemed like it would help stop the wheezing, and it also seemed to help defuse the situation behind me.

Once the adrenaline started to fade, my mind reasoned with what happened.

He was defending... Tin man? Did he mean Tony? Oh, I'm getting dizzy again... The ground looks inviting... Man, is he strong... I Do Not... do not... not... want ... to be... on his bad side...

All the wheezing lead to a coughing fit. One that hurt like the devil and seemed to last just as long. A hand rested on my back, rubbing back and forth as if to soothe me. I glanced back, Tony was crouched beside me, looking concerned. My eyes wandered past him to the man who held my life in his hand a moment ago.

He gave a very stiff nod, not a single emotion easily read on his face. He then turned gracefully on his heal and strode almost silently from the room. Only then did I notice that the music wasn't playing. My coughs echoing around the workshop.

Tony helped me sit against the wall. I gingerly touched my throat, clenching my jaw when I realized how tender it was.

"Are you okay?"

The first sound that came out of my mouth sounded strangled, and it hurt just as much. I took a sharp intake of breath before trying again.

"I'll... " I took another deep breath, "Live." I rested my face in my hands, letting out a shaky breath. I didn't know that there were tears rolling down my cheeks until my fingers felt them.

"Okay, breathe in. Through the nose. Hold it..." His fingers were lightly touching my knee, perhaps in a gesture to show he's there.

He guided me through breathing exercises for a couple minutes. The way he watched me do it and helped showed this was far from the first time he's done this. For himself or others I didn't know.

Once my breathing became regular, or at least more regular, he helped me stand.

"Let's get you to the infirmity, that bruise is getting swollen."

I wobbled on my feet, grabbing onto his hand to help steady myself.

"Thank you, sir."

"Y/n, call me Tony... After we get you fixed up I'm gonna find out what the actual crap happened."

Tags: @nightrose64

[dontcallmecarrie]

“if Bucky got wind of what went down in canon, he’d start screaming internally and never stop” ... So! How about a dimensional travel style crossover between By Dawn’s Early Light and either canon or one of your other AUs? ;D

That’d be…messy, because BDEL is, apart from being a fluffy fixit-slash-break-it-differently AU, also a timeline-got-squished-and-things-got-switched-up AU. 

For instance, remember how Tony’s hometown got a visit from SHIELD because of a meteor crash? That was Mjolnir, crashing into Earth way ahead of schedule because the Bifrost got a bit wonky when Odin did his thing. By the time Thor arrives, nearly a decade’s passed on Earth, Natasha is a shiny new agent of SHIELD, Bucky’s been out of the ice again, Bruce is cursing his new green anger management issues and there’s a lot of talk about Y2K going on in the background.

So, we’re talking about taking this Bucky, who escaped HYDRA in the early ‘80s and has since spent that time recovering with the help of his new family. Who’s used to a universe where Tony Stark went MIA and didn’t contribute to technology and progress [because he used that creativity and innovation to hide better, but shh], so tech’s about what you’d expect. 

You take this Bucky, and stick him in canon? Things are going to explode, and there’s going to be a lot of screaming.

Bucky’d take one look at canon, with its “assholes are yelling ‘Hail HYDRA’ in the year of our lord 2014″ and “wait what do you mean I killed Tony’s parents and all these other people” and would immediately go ‘thanks I hate it’. 

Would go “I don’t care if they have hoverboards, take me back, I want to go home fuck this I’m out”, because to him, canon’s a melodramatic mess and clearly a very bad timeline because the people he cares about are either long dead or wouldn’t be able to look him in the face [and it would sting, knowing that this Tony has very good reason for why].

And Steve— the way this other Steve looks at him would freak him out. Because there’s a strange sort of hope in there, only it’s not very comforting when it’s the “oh my god you look so much better!” hope, with a side of “you’re the person I remember you as, and if you’re not it’d only take a few tweaks” […yeah I’m still salty about the way Steve handled Bucky’s trauma. Fight me.] and as if that’s not enough, all it’d take one look at his alternate to know that apparently he got off lightly when it came to trauma.

Only— that’s not true, is it? It’s just that he was lucky enough to have been able to heal from the worst of his trauma in an incredibly supportive environment, and for all that they give him grey hairs, Bucky is still very grateful for the sheer diehard loyalty that Maria and Tony showed when he was at his lowest. 

But these guys don’t see it, just see him after years of recovery. 

…yeah, Bucky wouldn’t really like this weird alternate universe. 

As for the stunts that Steve pulls, though…hmm. 

On the one hand, part of me thinks that he’d be almost desensitized to it. After all, in his universe, Maria burned both Stark Industries and SHIELD in the early 1980s— so when he finds out that Steve did something similar in 2014, he’d be torn between facepalming and screaming. 

On the other hand, finding out that Steve caused an international incident […or just gets wind of the Civil War mess in general, for that matter] because of Reasons would just result in internal screaming. Because come on. Steve was supposed to be the reasonable one, was supposed to be the one who wouldn’t go to town if Bucky was ever mildly inconvenienced and how was it that he kept hanging out with these jerks in every universe? He’d have expected this shit from Tony or Maria, but he had high hopes for you Steve, gdi.

.

Meanwhile: it’s Uncanny Valley Hour for everyone in canon. 

Because this Bucky looks like their own, but the way he acts? The way he keeps blurting out stuff that’s just this side of ‘wait wtf’, or fumbles with smartphones but has no issue with talking to JARVIS?

Tony’s freaked out because this Bucky acts very, very familiar with him [Bucky: I taught you how to shave, kid. Enough said]. Doesn’t help that this Bucky’s also very very protective with a side of mother-hen tendencies [Bucky: how tf is it that you have even worse self-care habits than you did as a tiny fifteen-year-old?! Eat something you’ve been up for nearly 36 hours now]. [Incidentally, stuff like this also gets him into JARVIS’ good books, too.]

Everyone’s heart hurts whenever Bucky mentions Maria and Tony’s face just freezes over for a second, and there’s a lot of brain-breakage when he mentions wanting to punch Howard too. 

Clint and Bruce and Sam would just be watching from the sidelines, Natasha stealing popcorn every so often because this Bucky remembers bits and pieces of his time in the Red Room but it’s clear that he’s healed from that and they’re cool. 

Steve, though…

Steve sees this Bucky, and he can’t. 

It’s just— this Bucky is a staggering contrast to his Bucky, in all the worst ways.

This Bucky is everything he wishes his Bucky could be— he has his old self-confidence back, is clearly at ease and comfortable with his place in the world, isn’t struggling to put himself back together again, isn’t a patchwork of scars and open wounds. 

[This Bucky is unrecognizable. Is clearly better off without him.] 

It’s everything he could hope for, in terms of recovery for his best friend. It’s so close, and so, so far. 

This Bucky can barely stand to be in the same room as his alternate self. Shifts uncomfortably whenever it happens, looks at his alternate with a strange sort of pity [Bucky: torn between going ‘holy shit was I ever that bad? Wait nvm I don’t want to know’ and ‘…I am still going to yell at Maria next time she blackmails municipal government into unnecessarily changing zoning laws’]. 

All in all, nobody’s having a very good time, if BDEL!Bucky were to crash-land another dimension. 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 92

One day at a time. One day at a time. A mantra you reminded yourself of, and how you tried to take things, mostly considering you had no other option. It wasn’t easy. Even the first day had not been easy. Just like the one before it, and the one after it. Scheduling an appointment with Deja was hard. Going there was hard. Sitting down was hard. Talking was hard. Sometimes there was no talking. Sometimes there was only a little talking. 

Sometimes you had to have Tony escort you down to her office. Not because you were scared somebody was in the building, but because you just weren’t strong enough to make it on your own. And gratefully… graciously… he stayed at your side. No matter what. It was easier, then, knowing you had him. Sometimes you’d go to the lab just to be near him. He never minded. 

Things were a little easier, seeing as he’d taken you off the company roster- very publicly at that- a little while ago. So you tried to use the time to your advantage. But it was difficult. And terrible. And… just… hard. It was very hard. And eventually, much like Tony himself, healing became too much of a one-track process. Your mind wouldn’t allow it- and especially wouldn’t allow sitting around doing nothing. Even if that nothing was healing. 

 You started meeting back up with Nat every other day, as long as your body could handle it. Venting your frustrations through exercise was starting to become an activity you looked forward to. Especially when you emphasized the importance of learning new techniques to get out of grabs. You’d been grabbed a lot, recently. Lately. Something you thought about at night… These people- like Bruce had said- some of them had a mind to use you. Use you as leverage against Tony. Vanko. Loki. Killian… it was enough now. You’d had enough. Even if you fought out of or through most of those… and especially the last… it was enough.

You started working in small patches, started looking forward to something. To building something. And for that… you asked Deja’s help. At first she’d tried to make sure you weren’t putting the cart before the horse. Running before you could walk again. All that. Yes, very important stuff. You understood. But. Once you’d done enough convincing- week’s worth, mind you- the two of you got to work on a new initiative. 

And finally, come the first week in October, you finally called for a press conference. Time to go back to work for real. 

You asked some of your Avengers family if they could come stand behind you- they didn’t have to be in costume of course- Bruce and Steve had no problem attending (...well Bruce was a little anxious about it, but he just didn’t like pressers. For good reason). Nat and Clint were a little more wary to be that in front of the press. And considering their SHIELD spy agent status… you were inclined to agree. Tony, of course, was all ready to go in a handsome suit, standing proudly behind you inside the press hall as you took the podium. Deja aside him.

Everyone attending was well aware you weren’t taking questions. You knew that wouldn’t stop them, hungry as they were after your sudden leave. Though you had a prepared speech on the monitor, you still felt a little nervous as the room hushed for you. 

“Hi everyone. Thanks for coming. I know it’s been a while since I’ve been up here- or anywhere, for that matter. I want to keep this brief. I thought about just issuing a press statement, but considering my lengthy respite, I thought this would be better. I’m not here to address any of the ridiculous rumors of my disappearance. I’m just here to talk facts.” 

Lying so very easily. Lies for yourself and for the company. This part of your job was easy. Practiced a lifetime ago with Tony when he’d do ridiculous shit that you’d have to find a way out of. This time it was your turn. And, to be fair, this wasn’t even your fault. A few weeks back you’d taken that meeting with Fury. Sat down and told him what you’d remembered- not much, anymore. Everything was more an amalgamation of blackness and sickness… things you felt but couldn’t really describe. 

He’d still taken everything you’d given him. And then surprised you by offering you a cover story. Eye witness statements, if need be, receipts and pretty much everything you’d need to be well documented- 

“I’ve been away for a while at a retreat that probably cost too much money. When I took on the top position at Stark Industries, that was tough. When I became an Avenger… that was tougher. A lot of things have happened since then. And both jobs, running parallel to each other, are easily the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Things have not been okay ever since the event. And… I’ve come to learn that that’s okay. 

It’s okay that things are not okay. That’s a sentiment I’ve been struggling with for a while. And I know so many of us struggle with it, too. That’s why, effective immediately, Stark Industries is starting the M Initiative. It’s easy for me- relatively speaking- to step away from my life and go get help. It isn’t for everyone else. But we want to change that. Stark Industries is striving to change the conversation around mental health. We have an in-house team of therapists with all the latest technologies at their fingertips. 

You don’t have to come to our office in Midtown, we’ll come to you. Insurance doesn’t cover therapy? That’s okay. We’ll convince them. Don’t have insurance? That’s okay, too. Mental health is no longer a luxury afforded by people who can be sherpa’ed around a mountain or stay at a fancy resort for months. I want to change the landscape. The way we as a nation- even as a planet- help ourselves, and help each other. We’re all we’ve got, right now. And we’re all in this together. 

Also effective immediately, I’m reinstating my position as Co-CEO of Stark Industries. I’m ready to get back to work. And, of course, I’ve never once stopped being an Avenger. Even in all of this.” Mental health was about to become a profitable margin for the company- insurance companies would be falling over themselves to get in where they could. A notion that pleased the Board when you’d announced your comeback. Convincing fatcats to help people they considered underneath them had long since become your forte. Something you were good at. 

You just hoped it was enough. And, looking directly into the news camera reporting this live, you gave that closing statement with as much heat and as much power as you could muster. That man was surely watching. If not now, he would. He’d see your face in the papers for months to come. And he would know that he had not taken anything from you. And if he dared challenge you again… you’d be ready the next time. 

“Thanks everyone for your time.” One last utterance before Tony reached up to take your hand, while Bruce and Steve took up right behind you. Leaving the cries from reporters behind the double doors into the hallway as Happy and his team got you clear from point A to point B- and once securely settled in the elevator- 

“Sir.” JARVIS’ voice rang just above the group. Despite everyone at this point knowing it wasn’t like he lived in the ceilings, three out of the four of you directed your gaze that way. 

“Yeah, JARVIS?” Tony, the single one who hadn’t, was pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“I have the stock report for you.” 

“That was fast.” Tony’s tone was… mildly amused, as he half turned to grin at you. Tipping his phone forward and then snapping back, he broadcast a projection against the elevator doors. Stocks were booming. Leaning over, he pressed a kiss at your temple. “Welcome back, honey.” 

Bruce removed his glasses from his nose, wiping the lenses on the front of his shirt. He was smiling, too. “Relatively speaking.” 

As the doors to the lab opened, a happy chime greeted your group. DUM-E rolled up to the front, bell in his claw, waving it back and forth with a jaunty ring. Stepping out, you reached out to give that long forearm a pat. “Thanks. Good to see you, too.” 

Things were… things were going to be okay. 

                                                       ------

Now that you had things to focus on and do and deal with, your own healing process slowed. Or maybe it was helped. Or maybe a little bit of both. It was a little confusing to think about. But you were keeping your mind busy, so there was less to think about. Less personal things. Less dark things. Just focusing on helping people. On the phone with insurance companies and your own staff, investors- people big and small. Everyone out to try this new initiative. 

The first month results had already been staggering and very promising. Everyone loved the new gentle side of the Avengers. Ones that were concerned with the little guy. Ones that had struggles, too. -well maybe not everyone. Every right wing news outlet in America took the opportunity to strike while they could. Calling it weak and a poor showing of America’s supposed greatest heroes to broadcast something of that nature. But you weren’t afraid to appear on network television to confront them. Or defend yourself. Or protect your team. So you found yourself busy with that a lot, too. 

It was early afternoon, when you got home on the second Tuesday in November- home to the penthouse in the Tower. Still no plans as of yet to secure any other properties that weren’t getaways. No real houses or homes. It would still do. For now. And… you felt much better being here than anywhere else, for the time being. Even when you left, you had a whole squad of security. ...just in case. 

But Tony was not home. Not in the penthouse. “JARVIS is Tony downstairs?” And by downstairs, you meant-

“In the labs, yes. With Dr. Banner. Shall I alert him to your presence?” 

“No, that’s okay.” 

You’d just go down yourself. No use in bothering him. You slipped into something more comfortable than the business dressings you’d had on for morning TV and its shrieking hosts. Into a pair of jeans and a sweater, some worn out flats. Maybe you could convince the boys to go to lunch. That would be nice. 

The problem was, the lab was a flurry of activity. DUM-E at the front (who had long since had his bell taken away, poor thing), beep-booped at you with a little open and close of his claw. You gave him a little pat on the arm, and then excused yourself several times as you got in everyone’s way. Lab assistants and workers that you knew decently well by now, but… Further in- in their private lab- you keyed yourself in and pulled the door open. JARVIS’ voice was strong overhead in the sound-proofed room. “Gravitational anomaly has subsided, sir. I’m tracking the flux of gamma radiation now.”

Tony was standing in front of a monitor, one arm crossed over his midsection, the other hand underneath his chin. “JARVIS, where is Ms. INY?” 

“Right here.” You startled both men, (maybe even JARVIS too, who knew), Bruce and Tony turning sharply to look at you. “Why? What’s going on?” 

Bruce moved away from Tony to his own work station, head down. “Always something interesting…” Sounding interested indeed, but vexed in a way. 

Waving you over, Tony held out his arm for you to step closer beside him. Once there, he hooked it around your shoulders. “Something weird’s going on. Just wanted to make sure you were safe.” After taking another look at JARVIS’ coordinates zooming closer and closer in on a portion of the UK on a map, he cast a glance your way. “Caught your interview, by the way. You ever wonder when those guys are gonna get tired of getting whipped on their own stations?” 

You snuggled in closer, reaching up to rest a hand over his heart. “Well, until they do, I’ll keep taking the time slots.” Because it was good for your reputation to not shy away from stuff like that. If you declined to come in, they’d only use that against you. “Really though- what’s going on?” Sensing he was avoiding the topic. Not really sure why. But that never boded well. 

Reaching to the left corner of the table board, he zipped his finger down and several windows opened, all working and moving, displaying all sorts of numbers and graphs and… “There was a weird gravitational flux a few hours ago. Right as you left, I think. It opened and then closed. And now…” Dragging his finger across the screen to bring back the map, finally having zeroed in. Bruce spoke up behind the two of you. “There was a sudden gamma radiation burst. But it looks like it’s pretty far away.” 

You took a deep breath. This was all probably bad news. “LUNA, can you get any social hits in that area? Any video or anything?” 

“Scanning now!” 

Bruce chuckled lightly. “Where were you five hours ago?” 

“Working.” Turning half around to give him a cheeky look. “Where were you?” 

It was almost impossible not to feel Tony’s grin. “Hitting the streets angle. I like it. Very working man. We could too, you know. Despite somebody’s protests… few hours of flight time in the suit. Not that bad for a science outing.” 

LUNA chimed back in. “I’ve located several relevant social media postings within the last five minutes.” 

Tony’s attention turned back in front of the two of you. “On screen.” 

As with all social media content, a lot of it was really shaky camera footage that wasn’t very helpful to anything. Although there were a group of kids complaining loudly about two older women in an abandoned factory- right where that supposed anomaly that had Tony wound up was. But, LUNA had saved the best for last, a vertical video of a sudden rain storm- and a bright burst of color. As if the sky was opening up- 

And you realized. You’d seen that before. And sure enough- though the woman recorded shrieked as it looked like something- a flash of red- dropped from it right as the colors receded- 

You and Tony looked at each other. And weren’t really sure who spoke the name first. “Thor.” 

JARVIS cut your dual wonderment off. “Sir, there is heightened police activity in this area.” 

Tony shrugged his shoulders. “Well what’re you waiting for, JARVIS? Put in a call to our good boys in blue across the pond.” 

You gave him a little nudge. “I don’t know if they wear blue…” 

Bruce spoke up quietly behind you. “More of a black-and-white uniform. Though sometimes they wear the yellow vests…” 

“Boys in yellow it is. JARVIS, I’m waiting.” Tony snapped his fingers at the ceiling. 

“Patching you through now.” 

There was a heavy sound of static- most assuredly the officer’s phone and not your pristine connection- and a lot of yelling in the background. “Yes, this is Officer Danny-” 

“First name or last name?” Tony wondered out loud, very sarcastically. He was in quite a mood it seemed. 

So you introduced yourself, of course with the tagline- “-CEO of Stark Industries. And current Avenger.” You know. For brownie points. 

Tony snorted. “You wanna update your business cards to match?” 

But the officer seemed to snap to attention. “Oh! -really? Why are you calling us? ...are you putting me on?”

“Not at all! We’re checking in on an event going on in your area. Could you tell us a little more about what’s going on?” It couldn’t really just be this easy, right? Although, JARVIS had had to to some work to get this number, so you supposed… he probably should believe you, right? A kid couldn’t just crank call a police officer on a crime scene and pretend to be you. ...could they? 

Things to worry about later. 

“Well- we were called by a young woman and her associate- about a woman that disappeared- uh- a Jane Foster-” Without meaning to, a little too much excitement in you, you snapped your hand against Tony’s side. “-and I think that was the one that just left with the- ...well- ...I think that was Thor… wasn’t it? Oh. Is that what you’re calling about??” 

And then pat Tony’s side a few more times just for good measure. Thor had come back to earth! “Where are they now? Can you give them the phone?” 

“Well no- they just uh… left… I guess… uh- well- hold on-” 

There was a lot of static and rustling noises before a very different voice answered. “Hello? Hello? Hey? Is this someone that’s gonna keep us from getting arrested? Cuz it’s looking pretty bad over here- I’m a friend of Jane’s- ...or Thor! Thor’s friend. Yeah. If that’s better. Or Jane. Whichever.” 

You couldn’t help the little wrinkle of your nose. It wasn’t this woman’s fault. You were just. Disappointed. “Who is this? I’m sorry- did the police officer just say Thor left?” 

Tony scoffed. “Guy really just comes and goes as he pleases, huh? What a life.” 

“Glass houses…” Bruce said, in an amusing mix of sheepish and wry. 

The woman spoke again, “My name is Darcy. I’m a friend of Jane and Thor’s. Did I say that already? Because I feel like it’s the deciding factor here. Are you gonna help us? They think Jane attacked them and I can not go to prison right now.”

“What about Thor?” You asked, growing just a touch impatient. 

“Oh. Yeah. Well something weird happened with Jane and Thor took her and left. I don’t know where to. If he’s not with you guys, I guess he went home? Hey- they’re getting the handcuffs out sooo-” 

Having had more than enough, Tony shook his head with a sharp inhale. “Alright. Hey- just put the cop back on. Easier to deal with.” 

“Who is that? Is that Tony Stark? Holy shit, I didn’t think they were being serious! Hey- big fan! You know I snuck into one of your elite parties that night that Jane-” 

Feeling a real flutter of annoyance from Tony, at the end of his rope, you cut her off. “Darcy we can’t help you if you don’t put the cops back on.” 

“Oh- right- yeah. Makes sense. Okay. Hold on.” 

Some more rattling and tussling- people arguing- Darcy’s voice clearest among them. But… finally an officer of the law finally came back. “Officer Danny here.” 

Tony waved two of his fingers in some sort of criss cross motion that really only mattered to him- this was an audio only call. “Hey, officer Danny, Tony Stark here. Look. I’m gonna need you to do me a favor and let the people at the scene go. We… need them. So. What’s it gonna take?” He seemed to struggle with the needing them part. 

“Erm- well… I don’t know… I’d need papers or… something from the higher ups…” 

“Powers that be. Got it. Mute. JARVIS, can you speed this along?” 

“Of course sir. Am I authorized as the powers that be?” 

At this little sass, you couldn’t help a giggle. You really did love JARVIS. And you answered for Tony with a nod. “Of course, JARVIS. You’re always the powers that be.” 

“Thank you, ma’am. I’ll send something their way. What shall I have them do with Ms. Darcy and her companion? Shall I bring them here?” 

Tony shuddered. “Absolutely not. Doesn’t seem to know anything. Just let her off the hook and tell her to call us only if the big man comes back to earth. Any other calls I want forwarded straight to a virtual trash bin.” 

Something about this felt just a little off. Sure it was terribly disappointing that Thor had come and gone within just a few minutes- but Tony seemed… stressed. And not just from Darcy’s rambling. You gave him a small pat over the heart. “You okay?” 

Glancing at you he seemed to get a hold of himself. “Gettin’ a little twitchy, huh? Must be lunch time.” The arm around you gave you a solid squeeze. One that you appreciated. And, with you in tow as he turned, he looked Bruce’s way. “What’d’you say, Doctor? Up for a little lunch date?” 

Bruce gave a small shrug. “Downstairs? Or…?” 

You smiled at him. “Let’s go somewhere nice for lunch.” 

And, you hoped your charm would never wore off, because he smiled back and dropped his gaze. Nodding lightly. “Yeah… alright.” 

Leaning in, Tony pressed a little kiss to the top of your head. “Let’s do. If we’re lucky, Thor will make a u-turn around an asteroid and he can join us.” 

But only if you were lucky. 

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #209: The Resurrection Stone

July, 1981

“The Resurrection Stone: will it save the universe -- or destroy it?”

Well, the universe hasn’t been destroyed, at least circa the comics I read this morning. But it hasn’t really been saved either.

Still, pretty intriguing tagline. Pretty intriguing cover.

And written by J.M. DeMatteis. One of the Kraven’s Last Hunt guys. He doesn’t seem to do a lot of Avengers.

Let’s see how he do Earth’s Mightiest Team of Specifically This Four On the Cover.

We start with some silent intriguing intrigue as an alien ship crashes into Nevada and an alien crawls from the alien wreckage. Instead of distributing rings to people, he gets shot by a green guy who likes purple. I sure can’t think of several people that this applies to.

The shooter checks some possibly alien PDA but then beams up as the ship explodes.

How baffling.

Ok, J.M. DeMatteis. You have my interest.

So we start chapter one-

Chapter one? What is it with fill-ins and putting chapters in Avengers books. That three dooms one from a while back also did this.

Anyway, chapter one of this normal length Avengers adventure: “Love... and Death!”

So on specifically April 10th, 1981 2:17 PM (a fact which we must firmly ignore in these sliding timescale days), Beast has brought an old flame to Avengers Mansion to meet Wonder Man, Vision, and Scarlet Witch.

Presumably all of the other Avengers couldn’t make it. Or Beast didn’t want them meeting Vera.

Oh, and she’s not a new old flame.

Vera Cantor goes back to X-Men #19 in 1966. She knew him before he blue it! And she was the one who got away because mutant biz kept getting in the way.

But they had a chance meeting in a Soho bar and they’re giving it another shot!

I guess Beast is finally settling down from his wild party dating multiple women at a time days.

And y’know what? He and Vera are cute together.

Beast is exuberantly in love with her. He’s apparently been talking about nothing else for weeks.

Scarlet Witch: “Vision -- just look at the Beast’s eyes -- I’ve never seen them sparkle so. He must be in love.”

Beast is so excited he’s bouncing on the couch and jumping all over the place and bumping into Jarvis. Knocking the tea tray out of the butler’s hands.

Beast, pls. Reign in.

He does manage to catch the tray in his feet though. No spilling.

Its a bit weird that Jarvis is here to be bumped into. He’s supposed to have one of his days off to visit his mom and get some of that “near-mythical Yorkshire pudding.”

But he brushes off the question with concern over the bad impression all of this is giving the guest.

Vera doesn’t mind though. She’s used to his obstreperous (“noisy and difficult to control”) nature and finds how energetic he is to be part of why he’s so cute.

The blue fuzz surely does not hurt!

Oh. And then Vera takes a sip of the tea Jarvis brought and immediately keels over dead.

The butler did it??

Jarvis. You made it too strong!

No, no. Surely not. Jarvis would never make such an error or miss out on Yorkshire pudding.

“Jarvis” is actually... A SKRULL!

Beast wastes no time slamming the Skrull into the wall but said Skrull says ‘hey you want the woman to live again maybe keep your hands to yourself.’

And Beast backs off, sensing some truth in the Skrull’s tone.

The Skrull: “Ah -- that’s a bit more like it. Even in this vile atmosphere, I do so value my ability to breathe!”

By the by the by, this guy goes unnamed until 2008 in a Secret Invasion infobook but I’m not about that. His name is Jaddak.

Jaddak channels his inner-Darkseid and sits in the comfiest chair provocatively and begins on THE TALE OF THE RESURRECTION STONE!

Seems that millennia ago there was a space civilization in space that merged high science and high sorcery to bring an epoch of peace and plenitude to all then known worlds.

The epoch of peace and plentitude looks a lot like someone jammed Medieval knights and castles into rocket times.

Which I guess fits the whole union of science and magic thing.

And then the greatest scientist-wizard, Tus'Au, invented the Resurrection Stone and ruined everything.

The stone, as the name implied, could bring life back to the dead. And while that doesn’t seem too impressive by today’s standards where plot devices to resurrect the dead are so numerous (including just teleporting out of heaven) that it doesn’t bear counting, remember that this was an earlier, more innocent time. A filler time.

Everyone wanted this Resurrection Stone and a great war ignited that eventually ruined a thousand, thousand planets.

Amidst that nonsense, the stone itself was lost forever.

Until an Anthigorite archeologist named Krru, like, did some serious research. Around about 5,000 years worth of research. And thanks to all his book learning, he eventually found the stone.

Which was unfortunate because Jaddak had been stalking him this whole time, sure that he’d eventually find it.

He chased Krru over twelve solar systems, finally blasting him out of the sky over Earth. But when Jaddak searched Krru’s ship and checked the recorder-log, as we saw in the opening two pages, he learned that Krru had decided that the Resurrection Stone was inherently corruptive and should have remained lost.

You know an ancient magical stone is bad news when an archeologist goes ‘actually you don’t belong in a museum.’

So when Krru was shot down, as a last ditch effort, he broke the stone in two and sent both halves into Earth’s past so they’d be lost forever.

I have so many questions.

If they were sent to the past then they’d be in the present now unless destroyed in the past. That’s how time works.

Two, dick move, Krru. You think this thing is inherently corruptive and you drop it into Earth’s past, possibly altering the timeline? Fuck you.

But with the stones in the past forever inaccessible clearly, Jaddak decided, hey this should be the Avengers’ problem and not mine.

Jaddak: “I knew then that I needed... pawns. Powerful pawns.”

Wonder Man: “Pawns... as in -- Avengers. And that’s why you struck down an innocent woman?!”

Jaddak: “It seemed a splendid idea at the time!”

Pffffffft.

Ok, I know. I know. This is a terrible situation in-universe but also out of universe because they brought back Vera only to immediately stuff her into the fridge.

But this skrull going ‘look it seemed like a good idea at the time’ cracks me up.

Seemed like a good idea doesn’t cut the mustard with Wonder Man who just hauls off and punches Jaddak into the bookcase.

Vision even verbally pats him on the back for it.

Vision: “Well played, Simon. -- There was no need to listen to this madman's rantings any longer.”

But as the Avengers congregate to stomp on Jaddak’s head a few times, I presume, Beast stops them.

Cradling Vera’s body he says he’ll do anything to bring her back.

;__;

And that brings us to chapter two: “DOOM in the DARK AGES!”

Let me just get ahead of any hypothetical questions I wouldn’t even be able to hear until after the fact anyway. Tragically Doctor Doom does not show up.

Whoof, a lot of exposition at the beginning of chapter 2. Because a lot of stuff happened off-panel, between pages.

Real Jarvis had been contacted to make sure he’s okay. The four Avengers took a Quinjet to the Fantastic Four and told Reed Richards what’s going on. Reed went ‘sure I’ll lend you Doctor Doom’s time machine and send you to the coordinates a SKRULL gave you.’ And Jaddak went to go wait in his spaceship with Vera’s body.

So now the Avengers are in September 16, 1348, England. Prompting Vision to start giving a lecture on the bubonic plague.

Scarlet Witch: “Darling, please. Not now.”

Save it for the bedroom, Vizh.

The locals respond, understandably enough, with hostility to the people that just appeared in thin air dressed like clowns. They call the Avengers demons and unholy creatures and tell them to tell a wizard Devlunn to fuck off and that he can’t have any more of their dead.

Wanda decides that explaining time travel and superheroes from the FUTURE is more trouble than its worth. Instead, she plays along.

Scarlet Witch: “Devlunn? We are far greater than that upstart! He is a mere wind -- we are the storm!”

And then she fires off some of her bolts to cow the villagers so she can ask if anyone wants to take her to “this weakling Devlunn.”

See Wanda figured out based on the one comment that someone toying with the dead might be linked to the half of the Resurrection Stone they’re here to find. Or one would hope someone toying with the dead has a dumb magic reason for it!

One of the villagers does volunteer to take Wanda to Devlunn.

Villager: “I pray you four are as powerful as you appear -- for it will take great magicks indeed to best this lunatic child.”

Because, yup, Devlunn is a ten-year old child.

And yup, he has half of the Resurrection Stone.

He also has a big crowd of locals begging him to return their dead since they did promise to follow him and give him all that they own. Really, that’s a fair trade for some moldy old corpses, right?

Devlunn: “Why should I listen to you? When this talisman fell from the sky and whispered to me -- I knew then it could make me a god! And gods do as they please!”

Welp.

Beast: “No one should play god, Devlunn. -- Least of all obnoxious little boys! C’mon guys -- let’s get this over with!”

And Wonder Man punches the tower Devlunn is standing on and Vision SOLAR BEAMs it and a ten year old child falls off a tower.

And then he just stops in midair and floats.

Not sure why the Resurrection Stone also has flying powers. That seems beyond the scope of what it was designed to do.

That’s like if you had a scroll of fireball that also did your taxes.

Yes, that would be amazing. But the two things aren’t related things.

Anyway, Devlunn takes these four weirdos in stride.

Devlunn: “Ah -- so I’ve impressed you with my little trick! Good! For, you see, I know who you are! You are spirits from heaven to test me to see if I’m worthy of godhood -- to see if my talisman can do more than merely hold me on high like some wingless bird! You wish a show of strength -- a little play! And what you wish -- Devlunn-the-god shall grant!”

And then he sicks a horde of zombies on the fearless foursome.

The four realize the truth of Devlunn’s half of the Resurrection Stone. Because this is a cool magic artifact that conceptually splits in half instead of just physically or in terms of output or whatever.

Devlunn’s half gives life to the dead but only life without the spark of the soul. Aka, zombies.

Also, not very impressive zombies. They’re more pitiable than formidable. And Devlunn isn’t much of a necromancer.

The Avengers fight them. Well, except for Vision. Vision just lets them flail against him ineffectually.

Beast rushes through the pack of zombies, even grabbing one with his thighs to toss out of the way?, towards Devlunn and then takes the 1/2 Resurrection Stone like candy from a baby.

Revealing Devlunn to not be a great and powerful wizard but rather a very sad child.

Devlunn: “My stone give it to me! Give it back, I say! I was... nothing until it came to me! My family -- my friends -- all died! But the stone made me important! It gave me control over death! It made me safe! Please give it back! Please -- I want to be a god! I have to be a god!”

And then he collapses to the ground and starts crying while the Avengers are whisked away into the future by Reed.

So, that’s sad.

And I don’t imagine chapter three (“Rosenblatt’s Dance!”) is going to be any cheerier.

It’s now April 13, 1945. Dachau.

So. Yeah.

The Avengers blink into existence right in the middle of some Allied troops chasing some Nazis. And not being ones to miss a chance to go ape shit on some Nazis, Wonder Man goes ape shit on some Nazis.

Unlike the dark ages peeps, the Allied soldiers see some random people with superpowers wearing bright clothes and go ‘ah, superheroes’ and ask if they’re with the Invaders or the Liberty Legion.

Wonder Man: “Right. I’m... uh... Captain America.”

Phew. Timeline secure.

Anyway, they’re glad to see some superheroes because they’ve got a messy situation at Dachau. And its nothing that punching Nazis can fix.

So, yeah this is set at a concentration camp so its not going to be particularly happy.

The one who has the other half of the Resurrection Stone is a man named Rosenblatt. And this half of the stone also has half the power of the full stone. But in this case it returns the soul to a lifeless husk.

And Rosenblatt has used it to revive his dead wife and daughters and he’s joyfully dancing with their lifeless bodies while they beg him to let them go and free them of this existence.

It’d be really messed up if the usual superhero methods had to be applied here but thankfully the less employed but still common superhero empathy is in the quiver.

Beast approaches the guy and just talks to him.

Beast: “You have to set their souls free.”

Rosenblatt: “Are you the devil, come to take them? Well -- they’ve been in hell long enough. They’ll never be yours!”

Beast: “Look at them, my friend -- they will never be yours either. Not the way you knew them. The way you cherished them. Give me the jewel. P-please...”

And his words get through to the man who hands the half Resurrection Stone off to Beast.

And as before, the instant they have the stone, Reed yanks them forward in time.

Y’know. This only occurred to me on my second read. Maybe if Reed hadn’t instantly pulled them out of that time, it would have occurred to Beast ‘hey wait I have both halves now, I could combine them and bring this guy’s family back to life for real and not in some cursed half existence.’

Doesn’t really work with how the book goes, but it’s a thought.

And now for the thrilling conclusion: Chapter 4 The Cost!

April 10th, 1981, SPACE.

So we’re back in the then present.

A Quinjet flies into space, as Quinjets can apparently do, to meet with Jaddak’s spaceship. Jaddak contacts them over the space Zoom and tells Beast that he’ll have to teleport over alone with the Resurrection Stone.

The other Avengers think this is reeeeeaaally fishy and don’t really like the idea of letting Jaddak get the Resurrection Stone but they can’t tell Beast what to do. This is his weird fill-in issue quest and it has to be his decision.

So Beast teleports over alone. And finds himself in a chamber with a video screen. Skrull ain’t taking any chances.

He’s hidden behind an unbreachable wall. Through the video screen he tells Beast to deposit the stone in a portal which will send it over to the skrull who will test it for authenticity.

Then, he’ll use it to revive Vera. Swearsies.

Beast: “And why should I trust you?”

Jaddak: “Because I am a Skrull. Treacherous and savage as my people are -- we value honor more than life.”

Doubt.

Beast pauses to consider the power of the Resurrection Stone. Thinks about Devlunn and his zombies and Rosenblatt’s dance.

Beast: “Vera... I’m sorry. But this power is too much for any man to hold. I hope you can forgive me for what I’m about to do -- and I hope I can forgive myself!”

And then Beast slams the two halves of the Resurrection Stone together, KRUNCHing them into dust.

Jaddak: “Y-you crushed it! But that is... impossible! My plan was perfection! The vagaries of human love should have assured me victory!”

Wonder Man: “There are higher forms of love, Skrull -- but don’t strain your brain trying to figure out what they are!”

Because, yes, Wonder Man, Scarlet Witch, and Vision are also here now.

Vision intangibled onto the ship while Jaddak was distracted and used Jaddak’s own teleporters to bring the other two aboard.

As for that unbreachable wall?

Nah. Totally breachable. Wonder Man peels it open like nothing.

Jaddak tries to use Vera’s dead body as a hostage but Scarlet Witch blasts the gun apart in his hands with a SQUAKK.

So there may be a bird that used to be a gun loose on the ship.

And that just leaves one thing to take care of.

Beast jumps at Jaddak and starts slamming him around.

Scarlet Witch protests that Beast is going to kill Jaddak but Wonder Man tells her that Beast has to left off some steam.

Wonder Man: “He has to vent some steam or he’ll really snap! Besides you know Hank as well as I do -- that Skrull will get some much-needed lumps -- but that’s all!”

Beast: “Yeah. That’s our Beastie. A hero to the end. Can’t even bring myself to play the old ‘eye for an eye’ game. Not that it would do me one stinking bit of good. I’ve lost her -- forever.”

AND THEN AN EPILOGUE. Later that day at the Baxter Building.

Reed has been involved between panels this whole story and now he gets exposition exposited to him to fill in the gaps and in return he’s going to exposit too.

Wonder Man explains that he, Wanda, and Vision always intended to destroy the Resurrection Stone if Beast went through with the deal with Jaddak. Not that they thought he would. Knowing Hank McCoy and all.

But its a subversion of the ‘this is something he must do himself’ trope. Where they left the decision in Beast’s hands but also planned to go over his head if he made the wrong decision and put the scary power of phoenix down in the hands of the Skrulls.

Gotta keep your friends honest or something.

So now Reed has news. Weird news about Vera.

The poison that Jaddak used was super rare, so rare that Jaddak didn’t even know how it worked. He just had to be a murder hipster and goofed up.

Its actually a slow-acting poison that takes days to fully kill someone so Vera is technically only mostly dead. She could theoretically be cured one day.

So Reed has thrown her into a suspended animation tube and hopes to come up with an antidote eventually (which he doesn’t but Vera ends up cured anyway in Defenders #105 about a year later in another story by J.M. DeMatteis).

What is it about weird filler stories and having someone end up in a freezer tube to be maybe cured later?

Reed Richards: I know it’s not much of a chance, Beast -- but at least there’s hope.”

Beast: “There’s hope -- !”

Follow @essential-avengers​ because one day I’ll be up to date on that blog and it’ll have Essential Avengers stuff and no miscellaneous reblogs of other stuff. Wouldn’t that be nice? Maybe? Also like and reblog if you like to reblog.

[xxx-cat-xxx]

New Beginning

While recovering from the injuries sustained during Civil War, Tony becomes addicted to morphine. In typical Stark fashion, he decides to quit cold turkey and deal with the withdrawal symptoms on his own. Fortunately, Bruce won’t let that happen.

As requested, here is the tumblr version! This is an AU in which Bruce returns to earth after Civil War. Pepper and Tony still haven’t made up, but everything else is roughly the same.

TW for mentions of drug abuse. Angst and Whump and lots and lots of Hurt/Comfort in the second half. Thanks to @whumphoarder and @sallyidss for beta reading.

——————————————–

The front doors of the compound open with a bit of a squeak. It leaves Bruce to wonder whether no one has realised, or whether the two remaining permanent inhabitants simply don’t care enough to fix it.

“Welcome, Dr. Banner,” FRIDAY greets him.

Bruce startles a bit at the sudden voice. He’s visited the compound quite a few times during the three months since his return to earth, but it’s easy enough to forget the existence of AIs when his own shabby apartment still doesn’t have a working WiFi connection.

“Hello, FRIDAY,” he replies. “Uhm, who all is home?”

Initiating a conversation with the AI makes him nearly as uncomfortable as initiating one with an actual human being, but it would take the better part of an hour to check all the rooms of the compound, and he’s not keen on experiencing the despondent feeling he would get upon seeing most of them empty.

“Only Boss. Colonel Rhodes left for Florida for his long-term treatment and is not expected to return before next week. Boss arrived home from his weekly meeting with Peter Parker at noon and has been in the upstairs bar ever since.”

“Could you let him know that I’m here? He should have gotten my message, we, uhm, had plans.”

“Of course, Dr. Banner.”

Bruce is looking forward to “doing crazy science” (Tony’s words) with his friend. Most of his time nowadays is spent alternating between attending yoga classes, seeing a therapist, and trying to establish a routine for himself. Returning to a planet where a year has passed for everyone else, just to find that his only friends had not only split up, but done so in a violent way, wasn’t exactly helpful for getting resettled on earth.

Bruce sets down his backpack in his own room. He has never gotten a chance to use it, but he is touched by its existence, by the fact that Tony, while planning the compound, seems to have been so sure he’d return one day. He changes into a comfortable sweater and grabs a lab coat. Now it’s onto science.

“FRIDAY, is Tony already in the lab?” he questions.

“I am afraid Boss is busy and won’t be able to join you for the experiment,” she reports.

“What?” Bruce looks up in confusion.

“I said that Boss is busy and-”

“No, I got you, FRIDAY, just…”

This is weird. Tony has been looking forward to this nearly as much as Bruce, as he was the one who first suggested measuring the half-life of the alien element that Bruce accidently brought with him from Sakaar.

“Uhm, he’s still in the bar?” Bruce asks tentatively.

“Yes, Dr. Banner.”

Bruce waits for an elaboration, but none is forthcoming. He really misses JARVIS. The old AI would always find a way to let him know what was going on, even if Tony had instructed him otherwise.

Bruce makes his way to the upstairs bar, getting lost only once along the way in the huge building. He finds Tony sitting slumped over at the counter, head resting on his folded arms. There is no drink next to him, no tablet in his hand, no rock music playing.

“Tony?”

The engineer turns his head a little when Bruce sits down on the stool next to him, but the hood of his sweatshirt is keeping his face in the shadows.

“I, uhm, hi,” Bruce begins. When no reply comes, he continues. “We were going to check our theories about the Sakaarium’s rate of decay, you remember?”

“I’m busy,” Tony mumbles into his sleeve.

“You don’t look busy...”

Tony doesn’t respond.

“You were with the kid this morning, right?” Bruce tries to change the topic.

“Yeah,” Tony answers in a brisk voice. “What do you want, Bruce?”

“I - I thought we were going to take the measurements?”

“I told you, I’m busy. Told FRIDAY, actually. There was no need for you to come up here.”

“Okay, what’s going on?” Bruce asks, slightly exasperated.

“You can just send me the data later. Easier that way.” Tony’s tone is almost hostile now.

Bruce tries very hard not to let his self-confidence slip away, but it’s futile. Maybe he overestimated the importance of their work to Tony. Their friendship has been a bit tense lately, with Bruce rationally knowing that the other man doesn’t blame him for going away, but still not being able to not feel guilty for his absence during Tony’s fallout with Steve.

“Okay, then I’ll just - go and do the experiment on my own.” He tries to keep his tone neutral while getting down from the stool.

“Bruce.” Tony’s voice is quiet, unlike him. He lifts his head and finally Bruce can get a look at his face. Exhaustion is written all over his features. He looks sad, sort of lonely, but also distinctly ill. His eyes are red, his nose is running, and his normally tanned skin tone is now an unhealthy grey.

Bruce frowns. “Are you sick?”

Tony scoffs like he’s about to give a snarky comment, but then he seems to think better of it. “Morphine withdrawal, to be precise,” he admits with a sigh.

Bruce blinks at him. “You - what?”

“Yeah, funny isn’t it? And people always thought the alcohol would be the drug that kills me…” He lets out a bitter laugh.

“Tony, this…How did this happen?” Bruce immediately feels guilt bubble up inside him. How did he not notice? The Hulk stirs in the back of his mind and Bruce takes a deep breath to calm himself down.

“I’ve gotten in a little too deep since… since I came back,” Tony replies hesitantly. “Had, ehm, couple of bad injuries. My sternum was cracked, and I needed shoulder surgery, among other things. And then… guess it was just convenient. Drowning out the pain.”

He doesn’t say what kind of pain he is talking about, but Bruce has an idea that it’s more than just the aftereffects of the injuries.

“You...You didn’t tell anyone.” It’s a statement, not an accusation. Bruce has been carrying secrets around with him for so long that he would never judge anyone else for doing the same.

Tony shrugs. “I told you now, didn’t I? Can’t see you walking around with this sad puppy face of yours. Plus, I hate lying.” He squints and starts massaging the bridge of his nose. “Sorry about the experiment. You can go ahead without me. Give me a few days and I’ll look at the data afterwards.”

“Tony, you could easily afford the best detox in the world. There are people who specialise in this - they could work out a treatment plan, maybe give you methadone…you don’t have to do this cold turkey.”

“Not all problems can be solved with money.”

“But this might just be one where money can help.”

“I don’t want anyone else involved.”

Tony’s voice is a bit louder now, almost angry, but there is something else in it - shame, a feeling Bruce has always thought alien to Tony. But then, this is not partying, not sex, not drunk-crashing a new suit into the Hudson. There’s nothing glamorous about addiction.

“What about Rhodey?” he asks softly.

Tony just shakes his head, guilt creeping up in his eyes.

“Okay.” Bruce takes a deep breath. “Then I’ll stay with you.”

“Go do your experiment, Bruce”, Tony dismisses. “You’re not the type for this. Leave me alone.”

Translation: I don’t want you to see me like this. I don’t want to be a burden.

“No, I mean it. I can…” Bruce tries to think of a way that won’t have Tony refuse immediately. “I would feel better if I could at least take care of the medical side of things.” He hesitates a beat. “I won’t hover, I promise. I just don’t want you to do this alone.”

Another shrug. “You really don’t have to. Not gonna be pretty.” Brown eyes glance up at Bruce. They’re full of distrust, a slew of broken promises - and a flicker of hope.

“It’s okay,” Bruce assures.“I...I want to.”

Tony’s eyes hold his for a minute. Then, slowly, he nods.

Bruce doesn’t have to ask Tony why he agrees. He knows it’s not that Tony trusts him more than others; he doesn’t trust anyone, really. It’s not that Bruce is closer to Tony than Rhodey is. No, he agrees because he knows that Bruce isn’t a threat to him. It’s the same reason he once opened up about his PTSD. Because Bruce doesn’t judge, and Bruce would never use his knowledge against him.

“Okay, then.” Bruce takes a deep breath, mentally preparing a list of what he is going to need. He is not stupid, withdrawal isn’t a pony ride, and this isn’t going to be easy for either of them.

“Let’s go.” Tony gets up from the barstool, stumbling only a little.

Bruce frowns. “Where?”

“The experiment? We’ve waited for weeks to get these readings. Now that you’ve figured out what’s going on, might as well get some work done.”

“Tony, are you sure?”

“I figure I’ve got half a day until the worst of it starts, so let’s get to work.” He flashes a familiar grin at Bruce, who follows with a sigh.

*

“Care for a nap?” Bruce asks hopefully.

It’s four in the morning and they have been working non-stop for hours. Tony is trying hard not to let his discomfort show, but he’s sniffling constantly, a slightly haunted look in his eyes, and even his right hand is trembling now. Bruce has been trying his best to act normal too, making sure that Tony stays hydrated and eats something in between, and he’s attempted more than once to get his friend to sleep.

But the engineer just shakes his head, not even looking up from the tablet in which he is modelling the element’s other isotopes. “Go ahead, Brucie. I, uhm” - He rubs his dripping nose with the back of his hand - “distraction is good.”

The cravings must be worse than he’s letting on.

When Bruce keeps staring at him worriedly, Tony swivels his chair around and gives him a stern look. “Bruce, you promised not to hover. I hate hovering. Go to sleep.”

Bruce obeys, but he doesn’t want to leave Tony completely alone, so he stretches out on the couch. It’s the same one they used to have in the tower, judging by the very familiar scorch burn on the upholstery. The low hum of the laboratory equipment in the background and the sound of Tony tapping on this tablet are surprisingly soothing. Despite the lingering sense of worry and guilt, Bruce falls asleep quickly.

*

When he wakes up late next morning, Tony is still working.

“Hey, groundhog.” Tony wheels his chair around and rolls towards Bruce with a smirk.

Bruce sits up, groaning at the pain in his back that definitely didn’t approve of the idea of sleeping on the couch. He blinks the sleep out of his eyes and squints at Tony. “You didn’t...”

“Nah. I’m clean.” He looks worse, though. His brown eyes are slightly glassy, huge dark rings below them and a light flush to his cheeks.

“How are you feeling?” Bruce ventures.

Tony shrugs. “Been better, been worse.”

Bruce raises a hand to gauge his temperature, but Tony flinches away reflexively. That’s new - another souvenir from Siberia.

“Sorry.” Bruce drops his arm. “Are you running a temperature?”

“A little above a hundred,” Tony dismisses. There’s a sparkle in his eyes that could stem either from the fever or excitement. “Made a lot of progress on the Sakaarium while you were getting your beauty sleep. I’ll brew some coffee if you have a look at it.” He presses a tablet into Bruce’s hands.

Bruce sighs. “Tea, please.”

After studying the data (Tony wasn’t lying about making progress - Bruce doesn’t think anyone would be able to get this much done in a week even in full health), Bruce goes to take a shower and gather supplies that he has a feeling he is going to need later. By the time he’s done, it’s almost noon, so he cooks pasta for them - something easily digestible. Tony, now visibly less energetic than before, picks at the food with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

“Do you want to lie down?” Bruce asks after he’s made Tony finish a small plate.

Tony shakes his head, trembling a little. He gets up gingerly, as if his whole body is hurting. “Let’s just...let’s get rid of it all.”

“The drugs, you mean?”

“No, Clint’s secret stash of Skittles. Of course the drugs.” It’s the first time he’s mentioned Clint since Bruce came back. It must have been an accident, because Bruce can see emotions swirling in Tony’s eyes just before he turns abruptly and walks out.

Bruce sighs. Tony has always been a notoriously hard person to talk to about personal topics, but since whatever happened in Siberia, it’s almost impossible to get anything out of him besides the constant stream of (increasingly cynical) sarcastic comments, the occasional remark about Peter Parker, and a never-ending flow of tech ideas. Bruce tried to carefully ask about the rest of the team a few times, but only got rapid topic shifts in reply. He still hasn’t worked up the courage to mention Pepper.

“Bruce?” Tony calls from the hallway.

“Coming…”

*

It takes longer than Bruce would have thought to get rid of all the pill bottles.

He knew that the compound was large, but he never thought about the sheer number of bathroom cabinets and kitchen shelves it contains. He doesn’t ask how Tony managed to get his hands on so many rations of morphine. He doesn’t ask why Tony felt the need to spread out his supply throughout all of the rooms. He tries not to think about Tony alone in the compound, wandering empty halls and sleeping off his highs in his former friends’ beds.

By evening, Tony is visibly shaking and ghostly pale except for the fever-flush of his cheeks. Bruce doubts they’ll be able to finish their task before his condition deteriorates.

“Just how many are there?” Bruce frowns, finding another pill bottle in a drawer in Sam’s old bedroom and throwing it into the garbage bag.

“Honestly? I don't know,” Tony replies from the medbay next door where he is bending over the medicine cabinet. “I reorder them every week, so they just kinda keep piling up. Funny, isn't it?” His tone is light, slightly ironic, but when Bruce catches a look at his face through the glass door, all he can read is pure self-loathing.

“Let’s take a break,” Bruce decides. He gets up stiffly and starts walking towards the common kitchen. “Tony?” he calls when the other man doesn’t follow.

“Just...coming.” Tony's voice sounds strained. The next moment, there is an audible thump and the sound of breaking glass. “Ow.”

Concerned, Bruce hurries into the room and finds Tony on his butt, a growing puddle of disinfection liquid soaking his pants. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to, uh, sit down for a moment.” Tony’s face is sweaty and his eyes a little unfocused.

“Let me clean this up.” Bruce goes to grab a rag from the kitchen and returns to try to control the damage.

“Have you -” Tony cuts himself off, swallowing thickly. A hint of green has crept up his cheeks. He’s starting to tremble harder under his oversized sweatshirt.

“I think we should move to the bathroom,” Bruce states as calmly as he can.

“Yeah,” Tony says, swallowing again. “Agreed.”

It takes half an hour of shallow breathing and spitting into the toilet accompanied by less and less convincing jokes until Tony actually brings something up, but then he doesn't stop for a long time. Being a doctor, Bruce has ample experience seeing people vomit. Still, he can’t help but feel a little queasy himself when he watches Tony bring up everything he’s eaten over the past day before descending into dry retches.

“You ever had a hangover that makes you feel like your stomach is literally trying to evacuate your body?” Tony pants, slumping onto the toilet seat after another round of dry heaves. “Because that’s what this feels like.”

He discarded his t-shirt long ago and his whole upper body is shiny with sweat. Bruce can still see some of the fading bruises from the fight. Tony’s chest is a whole maze of scars, some still fresh from the operations he must have undergone after returning from Siberia.

“You know I don’t drink.” Bruce cringes when another heave wracks through Tony’s body.

“Yes, Brucie, atta boy - how could I forget?” he says upon surfacing.

Even through the worst of the nausea, Tony is keeping up something resembling small talk, but it’s getting harder and harder for him to hide the pain and fatigue on his face.

Bruce puts a wet cloth on the ground next to him and Tony takes it gratefully, wiping the sweat off his forehead and pressing his face into the coolness.

“Here.” Bruce offers a cup of water.

“Noooo,” Tony whines. “What’s the point?”

“You're dehydrating fast. And I was told it hurts less if there's something in your stomach.”

“Blatant lies.” Tony drinks, his face contorting into a grimace. “God.” He bends over the toilet bowl, waiting for the inevitable.

Bruce carefully lays a hand on his back, rubbing up and down and checking the fever. Tony is definitely running warmer now.

His breath hitches. Then the few sips of water he managed to swallow splash back into the bowl.

*

When Tony is done puking for the time being, Bruce suggests they shift to the bedroom, but Tony insists on moving back to the lab. He settles on the same couch Bruce slept on the previous night, listlessly moving holograms to and fro in the air above him. Bruce isn’t exactly sure what he’s working on, but he suspects that not much progress is being made. Still, as long as distraction seems to help, he chooses not to say anything.

After a while, Tony gets up again and shuffles towards the bathroom.

“You’re gonna be sick again?” Bruce asks.

Tony just shakes his head with a scrunched expression, then locks the door behind him. Bruce sighs, guessing what’s going on, and decides not to disturb. Instead, he gets up to brew a special mint and ginger tea with a lot of sugar that he puts into the fridge for later use.

Tony returns after a while, his mouth a tight line, and refuses the saltines and water Bruce pushes towards him. He’s looking worse than just hours ago, as if he’s been ill with the flu for weeks. He drops onto the couch, picks up the tablet, and holds it up in front of his face. Bruce suspects that he closed his eyes, since he isn’t even scrolling.

After a while, a holo screen next to Tony lights up. “You have a voice message from Peter Parker, Boss,” FRIDAY informs him. Bruce blinks in surprise. It’s late evening already. But then, teenagers are not exactly known for their regular sleep schedules.

The warm feeling he got upon realising that FRIDAY is programmed to directly pass on Peter’s messages vanishes when Tony tells the A.I. to ignore it.

“Are you sure?” Bruce asks before he can stop himself.

“I’ve got stuff to do.”

“But Tony, what if something happened?”

“His A.I. would have alerted me. This is nothing important.”

“Don’t you think -”

“Geez, Bruce, give it a rest. You’re not my PA, okay?”

“I’m sorry, I just -”

“I knew this was a bad idea. You shouldn’t be here.” Tony runs his shaking hands through his hair, looking more pathetic than actually angry. “I, I need a break. I need a shower.”

He pushes himself to his feet with visible difficulty and stomps off towards the bathroom.

Bruce shakes his head in confusion. Peter seems to be one of the few good things that have happened during the time Bruce was gone. The doctor mostly keeps to himself these days, but he has met Peter once or twice during their lab afternoons and was touched by how awkwardly paternal Tony acts around him. Ignoring his messages doesn’t fit into that schema at all.

The message on the screen is still blinking. Bruce’s curiosity, fueled by a little bit of defiance, gets the upper hand. “FRIDAY, can you play the message to me?”

“Yes, Dr. Banner. You have full security clearance for it.”

“Hey, uhm, Mr. Stark, it’s Peter,” the teenager’s high-pitched voice issues from the speakers. “I’m, uh...I just wanted to apologise again for yesterday in case, uh, in case I said anything wrong? I know that you’re busy and it was probably really dumb of me to ask you, I am so sorry, I should have thought about that before. It’s really just a stupid school thing, and, uhm, I really get it you don’t have time for that. I was just thinking because May said it’s a good idea… and because you seemed a bit...down lately, so I thought I’d invite you. Anyway, I just, I’m sorry if I upset you. Just, uh, I hope that we can meet next week in the lab? I got an idea for the suit upgrade that you suggested, so… Okay, that’s it, I guess. Good night, and, uh, sorry again.”

“Tony, what did you do?” Bruce exhales, sitting down heavily on the chair. He’s starting to get a pretty good idea of what’s going on. Another point added to the long list of things Tony Stark won’t talk about.

His thoughts are interrupted when he hears retching from the bathroom.

“Tony?” Bruce knocks hesitantly. He knows that the whole Internet has seen Tony Stark nude, and Tony probably doesn’t care, but Bruce is uncomfortable with the thought of walking in on him after showering.

The only reply is a non-committal noise. Bruce carefully opens the door, his chest going tight with worry when he sees Tony curled up on the bathroom floor next to the toilet, dressed only in a silk bathrobe, his forehead pressed against the base of the cold bowl. His hair is still damp from washing. All residual anger in Bruce is replaced with worry.

“Hey, Tony,” he says softly.

“Hey yourself,” Tony croaks.

“Let’s move you to the bed, okay?”

“Hurts,” Tony mumbles, not responding to the question. “‘s like my skin’s coming off.”

Bruce winces in sympathy. “You’re gonna be alright. Can you sit up?”

“‘m pathetic. You don’t - you really don’t have to - “

“It’s okay. I’m here, Tony, alright?” He crouches down and slowly puts his arms under Tony’s elbows to prop him up, feeling the heat coming off him in waves. He has a suspicion that part of the withdrawal is actually alcohol-related, which would explain the intensity of his symptoms. Tony flinches at the touch and starts to shiver violently.

“I-I’m gonna -” He gulps. Bruce guides him over the toilet bowl and holds him upright when he heaves, bringing up acidic smelling bile.

“You’ll be okay,” Bruce murmurs.

Tony huffs and pushes himself upright with visible effort. He rinses his mouth while steadying himself on the washbasin, then shuffles to the elevator that leads to the bedroom. Bruce follows with a trash can, the tea, and a sinking feeling in his gut.

*

Throughout the night, Tony gets steadily worse.

He doesn’t fall asleep, unable to get comfortable enough to rest. Instead, he tosses and turns on the bed, kicking the sheets off his sweaty body just to pull them up again minutes later when the chills wrack through him. The little bit of ginger tea Bruce manages to make him drink comes back up every time in painful bouts of vomiting. At some point, Bruce turns on the TV in the hope to provide some distraction, but Tony doesn’t seem able to focus.

When the night bleeds into morning, Tony is an anxious mess, going from incoherent rambling to sudden silence. His fever is still rising. He’s been calling for Pepper intermittently, regarding Bruce with large, confused eyes each time before remembering where he is.

Finally, in the late morning, he falls into a fitful sleep, more out of sheer exhaustion than anything else. Bruce leaves him alone for a few minutes for a hasty breakfast of cold, leftover pasta and a much-needed change of clothes. By the time he returns, Tony is mumbling in his sleep, his face lined with agony, small tremors running through him as his hands seem to clutch the bedsheets for dear life.

Bruce settles in the armchair next to the bed and reaches for Tony’s fingers, holding them tight, trying to provide what little comfort he can.

*

Bruce must have dozed off against his will, because what wakes him up in the late afternoon is the sound of Tony screaming. It’s neither an angry shout nor a quiet whimper. It’s low and guttural, reminding him more of a wounded animal than anything human. He’s witnessed many of Tony’s nightmares over the years they’ve shared a lab, with Tony falling asleep on the workbench after hours of trying to power through the exhaustion, just to wake up with a gasp and wetness in his eyes. But Bruce has never heard anything like this.

“Hey,” he soothes, his voice still hoarse from sleep. He squats next to the bed and lightly pats his friend’s elbow. “Tony, wake up.”

Tony's eyes open, his gaze panicked. His arms fly up to his head in a defensive posture, as if shielding himself from an attack.

“Tony? It’s okay, you’re okay. We're here, at the compound. You’re safe.”

Tony takes in the room, slowly seeming to recognise Bruce, and lets his hands drop down. He’s breathing heavily and far too fast. He clutches his chest, fingers digging into the scar tissue where the arc reactor used to be.

“You’re okay. You’re sick, but you’re safe.” It’s all Bruce can think of to provide reassurance.

“Gimme - minute,” Tony rasps, looking on the verge of a panic attack.

“Okay. I’ll get you some water.” He stands up to give Tony some privacy.

When he comes back, Tony’s eyes are half-closed and his breathing has calmed down, but that’s about all there is for good news. The fever, if anything, seems worse than before, and the shaking hasn’t let up.

Bruce reaches for his wrist and checks his pulse. It’s slightly irregular and a little too quick. Heart palpitations are normal for people going through withdrawal, but with Tony’s history of cardiac issues, Bruce can’t help but worry. He pinches Tony’s skin and frowns when the white doesn’t fade as quickly as it should. He hopes they won’t need an IV, but dehydration is starting to become problematic.

Bruce has to raise the cup to Tony's mouth in order to make him drink while the man follows him sluggishly with eyes that seem almost delirious. His face is slick with sweat. Bruce wets another washcloth and lays it over Tony’s forehead.

“Cold...”Tony flinches away, seemingly from something else than just the physical pain. His hand wanders to his chest again, and Bruce thinks he can make out some newer scars across the old ones. Tony slurs something and Bruce catches Steve’s name.

“Steve’s not here, alright? It’s just us, Tony. Please, have a bit more water...”

Tony shakes his head, his expression conveying fear, sadness, and guilt.

What happened in Siberia, Tony? Bruce thinks. What did Steve do to you? What did you do to each other?

*

“...Bruce?”

The doctor hears the voice while he’s busy cleaning out the trash can in the bathroom from the last vomiting episode, but if he hadn't known it was Tony, he wouldn’t have recognised it. It’s weak and scared and nothing about it seems to belong to Iron Man. Bruce quickly rinses the can and steps back into the room.

“Hey, I'm here,” he reassures, trying to keep the tiredness from his tone. Tony is much, much worse off, but two days with hardly any sleep are starting to take their toll on Bruce as well.

Tony is sitting on the edge of the bed, his whole body swaying, his eyes large and wet. “B-Big guy?”

“Yeah, it's me.”

“For a minute, I thought…” Tony stares at him, blinks, shakes his head and sways dangerously. “Never mind.”

Bruce is there in two large strides, sitting down next to the other man and offering his shoulder for support. “It's me. It's really me, I'm real, I promise. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Tony slumps into him, burying his face in his shoulder. First Bruce thinks that it's sweat that's soaking his shirt, or that Tony had thrown up on him. But then he hears the sobs, quiet and terrified.

“Oh, Tony.” Ordinarily Bruce is not a fan of physical contact, but he’s never had such a strong urge to hug someone as he does now. He pulls the other man to his chest, holding him, shielding him. “It's okay, you're gonna be okay.”

“'s not about me,” Tony whispers. “Every life I touch just falls apart.”

“That's not...that's not true, Tony. You did so much for me.”

I hadn't had a home in decades when you took me in. I hadn’t had anyone who knows what I am look at me without fear before I met you. He thinks of ways to vocalise the feeling, but Tony goes on, speaking so quietly that Bruce can hardly hear him. “I let the kid down.”

“What happened?” Bruce asks softly.

“He... He had a thing, a competition, from his college. Wan’ed me to come to Washin’ton this weekend. But I...he can’t know. So I, I snapped at him. Was...yesterday, maybe… I dunno. I felt like my father. I spent my whole life tryin’ to be someone else, just to find that ‘m no different. No different at all. And I don’t wanna…” he sobs, chokes. “And then… I had to stop, Bruce.”

And suddenly, Bruce understands. “You’re not your father. You are better, Tony. You’re doing your best.”

Tony weeps silently, Bruce holding him, until night bleeds into day.

*

“It hurts.” Tony is slumped over the trashcan after the latest fruitless attempt at keeping Bruce’s iced tea down. His eyes are bloodshot, his face haggard and his whole frame trembling. A trickle of bile falls into the receptacle. Bruce rubs his back, wishing he could find a way to ease the nausea, to take the pain away.

“I need-” Tony abruptly sits up straight, swaying as he does so.

“Tony, it’s alright. Everything’s okay. Just, lie down, okay?”

“No, you, you don’t understand, it hurts...I need my meds.”

“You don’t need anything. It will get better, you hear me? It will get better, I promise.”

And suddenly Tony is shouting. “You’re lying! Fucking get out! I don’t need you! I need - I need Pepper - I need a fucking painkiller!” His voice is hoarse from all the vomiting, and the shout is more of a croak than anything else, but it still hits Bruce unexpectedly.

Tony tries to get his feet under him. Bruce pushes him back down without thinking, realising his mistake a split-second too late.

There is no recognition in his eyes when Tony lashes out, barely missing the doctor. He is much too weak to do any real damage, but the Hulk is immediately alert, always ready to protect Bruce.

Bruce grits his teeth as he tries to force him back into his mind with sheer determination. This can’t happen, not now, not with Tony sick as a dog and unable to protect himself. Bruce sinks onto the bed, his knees feeling weak. All he can think is that Tony was right, that it was wrong to call Bruce, wrong to trust Bruce, because he is a monster after all.

He can feel the Hulk roaring in the back of his head, and then he’s hit with memories from a long time ago. His father, the row of bottles on the ground next to the armchair he would occupy on the days he didn’t go to work. Bruce in the hallway, and then the angry eyes turning on him, then the belt, the hands, the fear. His logical brain knows that it’s nonsense, that Tony is not drunk, that his father’s been dead for years, but the flashback is so strong that it takes his breath away for a few moments.

He slowly counts to ten in an effort to calm himself, keeping his eyes closed and listening to his own breaths pounding in his ears.

When he feels safe to open his eyes, Tony is sitting on the ground below him, looking on the verge of passing out.

“Okay.” Bruce forces himself into a calm tone despite the emotions churning in his stomach. “Can you stand up if I help you?”

“I need...it really hurts, Bruce. I need a pill.”

“You can’t have any drugs. That’s why we’re doing this, Tony, remember? Remember Peter?”

There's pain in his eyes, then his body flattens, the energy bleeding out. Tony sways on the spot until Bruce kneels down next to him, wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him into his chest.

“Sorry. I’m so sorry,” Tony mumbles.

“It's okay,” Bruce whispers, sadly. “It’s okay.”

He isn’t quite sure how he finds the strength, feeling dizzy himself from exhaustion and barely contained panic, but he manages to move Tony back to the bed. The other man isn’t unconscious, but he doesn’t seem very aware of his surroundings either. Bruce mechanically checks his temperature, blood pressure, and pulse, and finds all of them worrying.

He decides on an IV then, setting it up with calm hands despite his racing thoughts. It takes a while to find a good vein. Tony flinches a little when the needle pierces his skin, but otherwise doesn’t react.

Bruce sits down on the edge of the bed first, but then he shifts to the headrest and pulls his feet up on the mattress. He looks down at Tony, who has fallen into an unsettled sleep, looking ill, exhausted, and frighteningly old. There are traces of tears on his cheek. Bruce strokes them away, then moves his fingers up to Tony’s sweaty curls, smoothing them lightly, wishing he could give the man more comfort than that.

*

This time, Bruce wakes up from his own nightmare involving his father and the Hulk. He takes a moment to orient himself. He’s in Tony’s bed - must have fallen asleep in a sitting position and slowly slid down, judging from the pain in his neck.

Tony is asleep on the other side of the bed, curled into a fetal position. One of his hands is clutching Bruce’s shirt. He’s still pale as a ghost, the circles under his eyes so dark that they almost look like paint, but when Bruce reaches over to touch his forehead, he finds the fever has finally broken. He carefully uncurls Tony’s fingers and checks his pulse - a little weak, but thankfully regular.

After removing the IV, Bruce goes into the kitchen and starts to make tea for himself and a milkshake for Tony. He puts both drinks on a tray and returns to the bedroom, finding Tony awake and leaning heavily against the headrest, looking exhausted and thoughtful.

“Room service,” Bruce says in a sudden attempt to take over Tony’s role and lighten the mood.

“God, Bruce, you look terrible,” Tony observes, visibly guilty.

“You should see yourself,” Bruce comments. He sets the shake down on the bedside table.

“You didn't have to - we could have ordered -”

“It's okay. I wanted you to have something made with care on your first day.”

Tony takes the beverage with a frown. “What is it?”

“Vanilla milkshake. Easy to digest, and you need the energy.”

Tony takes a few sips, then, apparently realising how starved he is, finishes the glass. Bruce smiles and pours him another.

“That doesn’t work with my diet plan. Hope that FRIDAY approves of it.” He grins.

“Oh, I doubt she has any objections. You could use a few pounds, honestly.”

After four days of barely eating or drinking, Tony's cheek bones are more pronounced than ever, and his shirt traces the outline of his hollow stomach. But, looking back now, Bruce is sure that his clothes were hanging loosely even before the withdrawal.

“How’s the shake settling?” he asks, not keen on having to use the trash can again.

“Okay, I guess. I’m - Maybe I’m hungry? I’m not so sure anymore.”

“That’s good,” Bruce says with a measure of relief. “Maybe give it half an hour and then you can try some solid food? You can shower in the meantime, if you feel up to it.” He pauses before adding, “No offence, but you need it.”

Tony looks down at himself as if only now realising that he has a body. “Oh. Yeah.”

He unsteadily goes to take a shower while Bruce prepares a proper breakfast for both of them. Tony looks a little bit better by the time he steps into the kitchen, wearing athletic shorts and an old sweatshirt, his dark hair still wet. He all but inhales two cups of coffee and a slice of toast before leaning back in his chair, eyes half-closed.

“How are you feeling?” Bruce asks, putting more toast on a plate and setting it down in front of his friend.

“Sore. Shaky. But also almost human again,” Tony replies, opening one eye. “And like I might actually be able to sleep, and when I wake up, maybe I wouldn’t be weak as a kitten.”

“See, that’s a start.”

Tony squints at him, insecurity bleeding through his attitude. “I guess I owe you a thank you.”

“You don’t owe anything to anyone, Tony,” Bruce asserts.

The engineer snorts out a bitter laugh. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

Bruce sighs, wishing for the day when Tony will stop feeling like he is indebted to the whole world. He doesn’t know what it will take, and he’s afraid to think about it because something tells him that Tony won’t ever stop before he breaks.

“And I…” Tony looks down for a moment. “I want to say thank you. You didn’t have to do it, and...I don’t really remember much of the last three days, but I know it can’t have been easy for you either.”

Bruce softens. “It’s okay, Tony. I’m glad I was there with you.”

“I don’t know how to make good on that.”

“If you want to do something, then call Peter Parker.” Tony’s jaw goes rigid and Bruce adds, “Not right now. Eat. Sleep. Try to establish something like a routine. But do call him eventually. Don’t let this chance slip away.” He pauses. “I’m- I'm proud of you, Tony. And Peter will be, too.”

“He can’t know. Ever. I’m serious, Bruce.”

There’s no sense in trying to tell Tony that there is no shame in addiction. He already knows that, in theory at least, but the standards he holds himself to have always been superhumanly high.

“Fine,” Bruce sighs. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise. And you promise me that you’ll call the kid.”

There is something almost like insecurity in Tony’s eyes, something vulnerable, but he nods anyway. “Okay.”

Bruce weighs his thoughts and then decides to go a bit further.

“You...Your fever got pretty high, and you said some things. You mentioned Steve, and Siberia.” Tony sets up to speak, his expression defensive, and Bruce raises his hands. “Hear me out. I won’t force you to tell me anything about it. Ever. Just, you don’t have to keep it all inside. If you want to talk, I promise I won’t fall asleep this time. Consider it an offer.”

Tony looks at him, tired and a hundred years older than a few days ago, but there’s something like the hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Thank you,” he says earnestly. “I...Not now. But someday, maybe.”

And that’s all Bruce needs to hear for now.

Tony almost nods off at the table while checking his email, so Bruce firmly takes the device out of his hand and ushers him back to bed. His heart goes warm when he notices that Tony has created a reminder on his tablet to call Peter later that afternoon.

After making sure that Tony is sound asleep, Bruce heads off to his own bedroom, swaying slightly himself from tiredness. Sunlight is flooding the compound. It’s still empty, but a different empty than it was the day when he arrived. It doesn’t feel like an ending anymore, but rather like it could be the beginning of something new.

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