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#and its been getting worse since being bought
reserwrekt · 1 year
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Poor people are allowed to buy things that make them feel good. There's no reason to make someone already struggling, feel fucking guilty for enjoying a steak or something is2g
#im buying some sushi fuck you#i am so beyond tired of eating garbage that im dying for something fresh something protein that wont#fuck my stomach up im buying some veggies too bc im tired of EATING THINGS THAT FUCK MY STOMACH UP#I SHOULDN'T BE LIVING OFF OF PASTA SIDES FOR THE PAST WEEK MY STOMACH HURTS#I WANT TO CRY BC MY CATS FOOD HAS NEARLY DOUBLED IN PRICE AND SHES DIABETIC SO I CAN'T CHANGE IT#will the sushi put me in red probably but again im kind of literally starving bc so many food issues and sensitivities#im bitter about it#im bitter im shitting blood and only eat rice and processed shit im not digesting half of it#this is also coming about because i saw a video of someone being harassed for buying steak with food stamp on like 2016#and i still get scared to buy things with food stamp i mean it's like worse than 2016 so yeah#i don't want my shpt shopper to drag my food through the dirt first or something worse lol#but it's something i worry about#i haven't bought any new clothes or makeup on three fucking years. let me have some decent quality food#I'm tired of the rotten shit left behind from our stripped naked store its consistently been out of everything since this all began#kroger food prices are a fucking joke things literally costing 3xs as much as meijer#target has no fresh meat or produce and that's all our choices unless you pay more to order from the butcher#well we getting butcher food today because again I'm almost certain the food from meijer is making me sick it always looks gross and sus
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dcxdpdabbles · 6 months
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DC xDP fanfic idea: One hell of a good Bellhop
Danny and Jazz Fenton get a chance of a lifetime after a whirlwind of dimension displacement. It's hard to explain how it happened. One minute, they were visiting Clockwork, having tea with their surrogate grandfather, and the next, they were being attacked by what appeared to be woolly mammoths standing on two legs and carrying weapons.
Clockwork had dispatch to take them head on- timeline pests he called them- but in the confusion Danny and Jazz were taken by suprised, stuffed into sacks and thrown through a whirlpool turned portal that spit them out in a new world.
They tried to call Clockwork for help, but it was as if though the Ghost Zone was blocked by some power. Danny at least still had his ghost powers and Jazz was equipped with the standard Fenton weapons on her person, but that wasn't much help when between the two of them they had sixty dollars and thirty four cents to their names.
Drivers' invalid licenses, phones that weren't connected to any service, and maybe worse of all, no actual identity to speak of.
The Fentons simply didn't exist in this world. Not even their four fathers. The two were at a loss on what to do- for about three months. Then they put their Fenton intelligence to use and hacked into a hotel.
It was a run-down place in the heart of downtown Gotham- the place that the portal shot them to was Metropolis. Still, people paid way too much attention to homeless minors there, so they had to move after dodging a weird underwear guy who kept trying to capture Danny. Apparently, he thought Danny was a "Kryptonian Clone". Fruitloop.
Jazz thought they were the only guests in the Hotel, which is why the owner was so happy to host them for weeks instead of a few days. He was a sweet old man named Charles who was far too old to work but couldn't afford the staff, so he did everything himself.
Jazz felt an awful pity seeing him sit at his counter, staring hopefully at the door for any new guests whenever she returned from her work. It was heartbreaking to see Charles' eyes dim whenever the closing time came, and once again, no one stopped by. At this point, he kept the hotel open in a sad, broken dream.
Where did she work? Danny didn't know, but Jazz made him swear she would handle their expenses. She kept a tight lip on her day, and since Danny had no documentation to go to school with, he found himself helping Charles with maintenance.
He has no license to do anything, but Danny has been installing electricity, water pipes, and anything in between since he was young. FentonWorks always needed something fixed, after all.
He even went out and "borrowed" some paint cans to give the old place a little touch-up. Charles' eyes watered when he saw.
"My wife and I meet at this hotel, you know," Charles tells him one day as Danny patches up some old bricks. He runs to find the old man, gently running his hand along the fireplace. A picture of two young people dancing in the Hotel Lobby—back when it was new and shiny—is hanging right over it. It's easy to see it's Charles and his late wife, Sally.
"Of course, that was back in the forties—a few years after the war and before Gotham was crime-infested. We always wanted to run this place together. We worked two jobs, and when we finally had enough, we bought it from the old owners when they announced they were closing down. We were so happy and ran it together for a year, but then she got sick. Really sick. I was told to give up on the Hotel when I lost her. No one saw a reason when it was obviously failing, but it's the last thing I have of her, you know?"
Danny's lips wobble. He thinks back to hours and hours of tracing the Fenton Works logo on all his new clothes. It looks stupid but, gosh its the last thing he has of his parents since they been sepreated too.
"Yeah" His voice catches "Yeah I know. Did you two ever have children?"
Charles shakes his head. "Salley couldn't have kids, and no matter how many times we applied, we were never approved for adoption. Then we were too old."
"I'm sorry Charles"
"That's alright, my boy." The man's smile is just as heartbreaking and sad as it is soft. "It's something I accepted long ago. "
Danny decided then and there that he would save this hotel if it was the last thing he did. Danny wasn't aware that his Ghost Powers launched onto that oath and sent out a flair, turning Gotham's Fog Lodge into his new haunt.
This meant that overnight, Danny's haunt was carefully bettering itself as a reflection of Danny's happiness. It made it look brand new among all the old and falling apart scenery.
No one knew why or how, but it looked just as Charles remembered it in the glory days.
Danny decided they couldn't compete with large chain hotels, so he made it an experience instead. He did Era events using his experience with the different parts of the Ghost Zone as references.
Soon Gotham was hearing of the Victorian Era Ball—a chance to dress up and dance the old ways with antique clothing of that period.
But Danny didn't stop there.
Disco parties. Nineties garage bands. Murder mysteries nights from the roaring twenties. Even the props were so realistic that people swore they stepped into the time from when arriving for their events.
People started calling, hoping to book in advance, and Charles burst into tears the first night Danny told them they ran out of rooms.
Since it was Danny's haunt, he could complete all the work by himself, having the hotel help him along the way. No one knew why or how, but somehow it was always clean, food was always prepared whenever someone needed it, and bags would be up into their rooms without actually seeing the Bellhop pass getting them at the door.
Not a single staff member in sight, either.
Charles suspected Danny was meta, and he was using his powers to be one hell of a good host. Everyone else thought the place was haunted by staff made entirly of ghosts, and that somehow made it more appealing.
Jazz's new boss thought it a little too good to be accurate, but he was so good at keeping records and organizing that he gave her the benefit of the doubt. After all, she did mention she had a meta brother she was desperately trying to protect.
If there was one thing Red Hood knew, it was that desperate people turned to crime the most. If he could keep someone like Jazz Fenton away from working with the nutjobs of Gotham, he would have been doing one thing better for the city.
As far as Jazz was aware, she was only an assistant/secretary to an obvious front masquerading as an insurance company, and if she pretended not to notice all the crime, she could feed Danny and help Charles.
Charles, for his part, never said it, but he thinks if he and Sally had been able to have grandchildren, they would have been exactly like Jazz and Danny.
He may have let it be implied at one point, and the misunderstanding spreads that he is their grandfather. None of the three make haste to correct it.
Gotham Fog Lodge starts to gain traction around the same time it captures the eye of one very intrigued billionaire. Bruce Wayne keeps an eye on the business but decided to let Jason make the call since the grandduaghter's owner works for him. '
Surely, he would step in if something malicious was going on.
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dreamescapeswriting · 2 months
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Pulling At Your Heartstrings ~ JJk
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⤜WORD COUNT: 2.8K
⤜PAIRING: Jungkook x Fem!Reader 
⤜GENRE: friends to lovers, angst, jungkook being a fucknig asshole, grovelling from him, happy ending,
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - July 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
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Ever since you could remember it had always been you and Jungkook against the world, the two of you had been practically inseparable since you were kids and nothing could change that. Not even when you were hopelessly in love with him, not that you would ever tell him that.
No, you'd rather suffer in silence than ever have the chance of losing him. Which was why you suffered week in and week out watching as he found yet another woman to throw his life away with and that wasn't you being dramatic. Ever since the two of you were old enough to date there had been a sea of women coming and going in his life and it was even worse now.
Jungkook was now 27 and freshly single as of a month ago and you had to watch him get a new girlfriend, or date, every week, watching as he flirted with them in front of you or bought them along to hang out when it was just supposed to be the two of you. So you suffered in silence as he talked about being infatuated with the new girl of the week and it was slowly starting to take its toll on you.
Gone were the days when you could sit with him for hours and talk to each other, you felt tortured to have to listen to him ramble about his new date which was what had led you to tonight.
Your mutual friend -Hyunjin - was throwing a huge house party and had invited you and Jungkook, which of course the two of you had agreed to go to and now you were leant up against a wall talking to a guy you'd just met an hour ago who was really sweet.
The party was supposed to be something to help you find a new guy and it seemed to be working rather well. You figured it was enough time pining over your guy best friend who showed no interest and you were going to throw yourself into the deep end of the dating pool and start finding someone. Dating apps hadn't been the best experience but tonight was changing your view.
"So I told her I didn't want to come but she practically dragged me kicking and screaming," Will explained with a giant grin on his face. He was around 6'' and had a cheesy smile that made you just want to smile whenever he saw him doing it. Not to mention his laugh was infectious.
"At least you're having fun now, imagine if you hadn't come, you'd have missed out on..." Your eyes travelled around the room as you tried to think of something he would have missed had he not shown up tonight.
"Beer pong-"
"You." You both said at the same time, your body heating up at the sudden compliment from him and you smiled warmly at him, your eyes sparkling a little as you met his flirtious gaze. The two of you laughed softly, your hand landing on his arm as you threw your head back in a laugh.
The party around you was in full swing, music blasting and people mingling which was probably why you hadn't even noticed Jungkook watching you from the corner. Ever since he'd spotted Hyunjin walking you over to meet Will he'd not been able to take his eyes off you.
There was something different about you tonight but he had no idea what it was but it was driving him insane. You were wearing his favourite colour on you too which was sending him mixed signals all over his body and he could barely keep up with what his date was talking about or when she'd even started talking to him in the first place.
"Who is that?" He asked rather abruptly, staring at you as you giggled at something the guy said, actually giggled. The mere action had his blood boiling. He'd only ever seen you giggle like that at something he had said and there was no way the guy you were standing with was that funny.
"Oh, Will. He's new around, I think Hyunjin wanted to set the two of them up," His date said, clearly oblivious to the fact that Jungkook was quickly losing interest in her and only paying attention to you now and you hadn't even noticed. Usually, Jungkook could only look at you and know you would quickly find his eyes from across the room but now? Now it was like you didn't even care.
"Maybe we should go upstairs, I heard there's a nice balcony-" He didn't give her any more time to suggest where her mind was going as he shook his head,
"Not right now," Jungkook grumbled, standing up and making his way across the room as he watched you and Will standing together.
The unfamiliar guy, your laughter, the tightness in his chest overwhelming him almost immediately.
It hit him like a wave – he was jealous. He'd never felt this way before, and it was confusing and overwhelming. He'd always been happy for you and never questioned your friendship, but seeing you with someone else, someone who could potentially become more important to you, made him realize just how much he valued your connection. The thought of losing his special place in your life was unbearable. But it couldn't have been jealousy, he'd never been jealous in his love life and never with you.
The two of you had been best friends, he cheered you on through everything, even going through terrible dates when the two of you were in school but the knot currently in his stomach and the way his heart sank as he watched the two of you together, racked his world.
The jealousy felt almost alien to him, a dark shadow creeping into the corners of his heart where only warmth and camaraderie had existed before.
"I'll go and get us another drink," Will spoke to you, running his hand over the small of your back before disappearing into the kitchen giving Jungkook the perfect chance to catch you alone.
"I can't even believe you, Yn." His voice sounded agitated as you turned around to face him, expecting him to give you a hard time for not saying hi but there was something dark on his face.
"Throwing yourself at the first guy who gives you the tiniest bit of attention." The words shot through you like an arrow as you stared at him, wondering where all of this was suddenly coming from,
"What are you talking about? We were just talking." You laughed weakly, hoping this was some kind of sick joke to Jungkook but his face remained cold and distant as he folded his arms over his chest.
"Talking? Really? Because to me it looked a lot more than that. You were laughing at everything he said, touching his arm, you're being so....so easy!" The words were like a knife twisted itself inside of your chest and pulled out.
Never in a million years would you have expected him to have said that about you,
"Easy? Are you being serious right now? Since when was being friendly a crime?" You were starting to lose your cool as other people around you turned to look at the scene unfolding in front of them.
"It's not being friendly! You're practically falling over yourself for some random dude you just met!" You pulled Jungkook out of the party and into the garden not risking Will overhearing the way your supposed best friend was talking to you.
"Why does it even matter to you? He's a nice guy, and I enjoyed talking to him. What's wrong with that?" You scoffed, confused as to where all of this was even coming from, you leaned against the door as Jungkook paced around in front of you.
"What's wrong is that you deserve better than to act like some desperate girl who needs any guy's attention to feel good about herself!" You stare at him, your heart breaking as you hear what he thought of you. Clearly, tonight had been a good idea since this is what you needed in order to move on from him.
"Desperate? Is that what you think of me? That I'm desperate for attention?" Your voice cracked as you stared at him,
"Yes! That's exactly what I think! You're better than this, Yn, but you're acting like you have no self-respect!" He yelled at you finally losing his cool but you'd had enough as well, you'd met your breaking point.
"Enough, Jungkook! Enough! Just because I'm talking to someone else doesn't mean I'm "easy" or "desperate." It means I'm living my life, enjoying myself. You have no right to judge me or tell me how I should act around other people!"
"Yn, I-" He tried to speak but you held your hand up in front of him and shook your head.
"No, Jungkook! You don't get to make me feel small because you're feeling... whatever it is you're feeling! I waited, years to see if you would make a move on me and you did fucking nothing! So now I'm moving on you decide to try? No!" Fresh tears welled in your eyes but you didn't let them fall yet, you shook your head as you stared down Jungkook.
"If you can't handle seeing me happy or talking to other people, then that's your problem, not mine. I'm done with this conversation." You scoffed, throwing the door open.
"Yn, wait-" He called out but you shook your head,
"No. You need to figure out why you're really upset because this isn't about me. I'm not going to apologize for being myself." You finished before slamming the door behind you and going to find Will once again and apologise for leaving him behind.
Jungkook stared at the door, his emotions all over the place as he thought about you and everything you'd said. His mind finally caught up to him as he realised you'd half confessed to him while standing there.
All these years he'd only seen you as a friend were crumbling around him as he replayed all your memories together. The way your laughter would always brighten his day, even when nothing else could. How your eyes sparkled whenever you'd listen to how his day had gone and how you'd always felt like a home away from home for him.
It hit him like a tidal wave, the overwhelming and undeniable realisation that he was in love with you and about to lose the one person he'd loved his whole life. The one he'd been searching for in all of the women he'd been dating but had never seen until now.
And he'd fucked it all up.
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It had almost been two weeks since the incident at the party and he'd done everything he could to try and get you to talk to him again but his efforts were proving to be fruitless. The flowers he sent to your apartment were always waiting outside whenever he went to check and the teddy he'd sent as an apology had been sent back and he'd been refunded. With every passing day, Jungkook just grew more desperate in his attempts and needed to see you.
Which was how you'd ended up in his apartment, panting heavily and holding up a first-aid box covered in sweat.
"You said it was an emergency!" You yelled seeing your best friend, who was in fact, completely fine and not at all bleeding through his hand like he told you he was on the phone.
"Please, I knew you wouldn't come otherwise!" He begged, standing in front of the front door to stop you from leaving. You stared at him, your arms folded across your chest,
"With good reason, you're a fucking asshole." You seethed at him, clearly still upset about the other night, not that he would ever blame you for it.
"I need to talk to you, please." He begged, taking a tentative step closer to you as you tried not to feel bad for him, He looked like he'd been crying, his appearance completely dishevelled and his eyes filled with regret.
"Don't you think you've said enough already?" You mumbled sarcastically as you remembered every word from the party and how could you forget? You ran through them every night before you closed your eyes.
"No, I haven't said what really matters," His voice was trembling as he looked at you, you raised your eyebrow at him not expecting him to have said that.
"And that is?"
"I'm so sorry, Yn. I'm so fucking sorry, I've been a complete idiot." He cried out as he dropped to his knees, your eyes widening as you stared down at him completely taken back by the scene in front of you.
"G-Get up, you're making a scene." You hissed even though it was just the two of you here but Jungook shook his head at you.
"I don’t care. I need you to know how much you mean to me. I’ve been so blind, so stupid. I took you for granted, and I said things I never should have. But the truth is, I’m in love with you, Yn. I’ve always been in love with you, and I was too scared to admit it, even to myself." The whole world seemed to stop around you as you processed what it was he'd just said to you, your eyes scanning his face for any sign that he was lying to you.
"You hurt me, y-you...you can't just say you're sorry and expect everything to be okay," You couldn't help the shake in your voice as you took a stand for yourself. As much as you'd longed to hear those words come from him there was no way you were going to accept what he'd done to you so easily. Jungkook reached out between you, taking your hand in his and squeezing it softly.
"I know. And I don’t expect that. But please, just give me a chance to make it right. I can’t imagine my life without you. Every day without you has been torture. I miss your laugh, your smile, the way you make everything better just by being there." Your heart was putty in his hands from everything he said but you were still wary of him.
"Why would I believe you?" You whispered,
"Because I’m standing here, on my knees, begging you. I’ll do anything, Yn. I’ll spend every day proving to you how much you mean to me. I’ll be the man you deserve. Just please, give me a chance." He begged but you stared down at him, tears running down your cheeks.
"Jungkook-"
"I will scream it from the rooftops, I'll get down in front of millions of people and beg for you to forgive me, please." He begged, your heart breaking the longer you watched him on his knees in front of you.
"You broke my heart," Your voice shook as tears slipped from your eyes, the dam finally breaking.
"And I’ll spend the rest of my life mending it if you let me. I love you, Yn. I need you. Please, don’t shut me out." You fell to your knees in front of him, your eyes staring into his as he stared back at you, even his eyes begged for your forgiveness.
"I can't forget everything that happened...everything you said that night-" Jungkook's hand squeezed yours tightly and he shook his head,
"I don’t expect you to. But let me show you that I’ve changed. Let me earn your trust back...Please," You wanted to believe him and you sighed a little.
"It's not going to be a quick fix," You reminded him as he pulled you into his arms, his legs resting on either side of your body as you leaned your head back on his chest your hearts racing against one another.
"I know that," He whispers, finally finding relief as he feels you against him.
"And I won't make it easy,"
"I'd expect nothing less from you," He smirks earning a small jab from your elbow before you turn to look him in the eyes, your heart hammering against your chest.
"I love you...and I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out," He whispers, running his hand over your cheek and softly running his thumb along your bottom lip.
"I love you too." You whisper, your body naturally leaning into his touch as your eyes slowly flutter shut, your body melting against his touch and whimpering a little.
"I'm going to make this right," He promised.
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And he did, every single day for a year until right now. The two of you were hosting a housewarming party at your shared home and almost everyone you knew was there, including Will who appeared to be happy for you.
"Is it bad I'm jealous he's here?" Jungkook chuckled as he snaked his arm around your waist and pulled you flush against his chest, a small whimper leaving your throat as you stared up at him.
"Maybe a little," You giggle, kissing his cheek as he pulls you tighter not willing to let you go just yet to play host.
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ironunderstands · 5 months
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These Aventurine, Topaz and Jade comparisons are getting out of hand…
As much as I adore both of them, I think it’s very disingenuous to compare Aventurine and Topaz’s lore and be like “but they are the same!!!! If people like Aventurine and dislike Topaz that’s just misogyny!!! and like… no?
Topaz’s whole thing is that she doesn’t know the extent of the IPC’s evil, and believes that what she’s doing is genuinely the right thing to do. Even if she never had a choice in joining the IPC, she (incorrectly) believes what they did to her and her planet is justified, logical and moral, and for those reasons she stands with them. Part of this is likely IPC brainwashing, as she was probably very young when she became an indentured servant to them, and someone living on a planet on the brink of destruction would likely view anyone who stepped up to save them as heroes (imo the IPC likely waited for the point of no return to establish contact so her people had no other choice to except).
However Topaz got best end of the proverbial stick, her planet and its people were deemed useful by the IPC, and didn’t fight back, even if in the end they were still exploited.
Unfortunately, we have seen through Boothill, Belabog and Aventurine what happens when that isn’t the case.
Boothill’s planet got bombed and people genocided because they had a resource useful to the IPC, but were unwilling to cooperate with them or hand over their home, so the IPC decided to eradicate them.
Belabog had a debt owed to the IPC that was ridiculously high and very unfair to expect them to pay back, and had Topaz not convinced the higher ups to give them some time (which she got demoted for), the IPC would have taken Belabog by force
That leaves us with Aventurine, whose story is in no way on the same level of bad as Topaz’s. Unlike her, he has witnessed and experienced firsthand the truly awful shit the IPC can do.
They took custody of Sigonia and promised to offer the Avgin aid in their fight against the Katacans, at the very least protect them from harm. (Sidenote, since the IPC held control over Sigonia, they should have stopped the fighting in the first place). However, they simply stood by and did nothing, resulting in the deaths of around 6,000 Avgin, with around 3,000 went missing (or injured, I don’t remember, either way it’s bad).
But wait! It gets worse! Aventurine when he was still known as Kakavasha referred to the IPC as “the men in black/the men in black suits”, and his first master says he bought Aventurine from “the men in black/the men in black suits”, likely mocking the way he referred to them. Therefore THE IPC TOOK PART AND LIKELY EVEN CREATED A FUCKING SLAVE TRADE IN SIGONIA
Look being made into an indentured servant isn’t fun, but idk personally I’d take that any day of the week OVER BEING ENSLAVED
That’s not even to mention how horrible of a reputation Sigonian’s have in the galaxy, one likely spread by/resulting from the IPC themselves, as at least on Aventurines planet they do not have the mobility to make a name for themselves. (Honestly it’s a mini theory of mine that Aventurines scam is what partly contributed to this reputation, and his status as a slave is something the IPC conveniently left out in their broadcast about it-)
But, you might be saying, didn’t Aventurine have a choice to join the masked fools and leave the IPC, isn’t he free now? And to that I say, it’s complicated.
Considering the amount of suicidal shit Aventurine has done while being part of the IPC, he clearly hasn’t been having a fun time as a member of one, so why does he stick around, especially with the Fools invite? Even if he was a slave, does that absolve him of the crimes he’s committing now? What could justify his actions?
Revenge, plan and simple.
This is going to delve into some spoiler territory for the end of the Penacony 2.2 quest, something which I didn’t feel like mentioning earlier because I’m sorry but everyone and their mother already knows Boothill’s lore. Now, let’s get into it.
Aventurine accepts Jades offer to join the IPC, and when he becomes a Stoneheart, the first thing he asks about is the fate of the Avgin, to which he then learns that besides him, they are all dead. You see, from birth Kakavasha was pushed onto a pedestal as the savior of the Avgin, but now that there are no more Avgin to save, his primary motivator in becoming a Stoneheart (beyond not being enslaved anymore) is gone.
So what does he do now?
Simple, try to kill the motherfuckers behind it.
That’s why he takes on such risky gambles still, and why he wagers and wants Diamond to promote him to rank p46. The higher Aventurine gets the closer he gets to his goal of taking down the IPC for good.
Which is why his meeting with Boothill is so meaningful. I think Boothill is going to “kidnap” him and together they are gonna take down the wicked bitch that is Oswaldo Schneider for his literal crimes against humanity.
Mark my words, an IPC downfall is going to happen, and I think Topaz, Aventurine, Boothill and Ratio are going to be at the forefront of it.
However, Topaz and Ratio (and by extension the rest of the galaxy) have to learn/realize the true horrors of the IPC (although I can sense Ratio doesn’t really like them, and he’s learned a lot from Aventurine, I doubt he knows the full extent of the situation or is in any way happy about it). Therefore? Topaz mental breakdown arc? Ratio lore? PLEASE??!? The IP3 compliment one another so well and god I can’t wait for that to come to fruition.
I really want to see a Topaz and Ratio centered story leading up to an IPC smackdown, and I think we are gonna learn a lot more about how shitty they are in the later half of 2.2 and in 2.3 when the interlude and Jades release arrive.
As for the aforementioned Jade, she’s gonna need a Aventurine squared amount of trauma or reasoning behind her actions to seem in any way sympathetic, because right now she just seems like an evil bitch (in a semi good way, I will always respect the commitment to the bit) who loves her job and would make Machiavelli weep over how hard her ends are trying to justify her means.
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floatmeintothesun-2 · 4 months
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Wildfire
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pairing; Mark Grayson x f!reader
tags: Smut, aphrodisiacs, , wc 3.9k, doggy style, oral sex (m and f receiving) cream pie, soft mark Grayson, mark gets in there :p, established relationship
tw: none
Quick summary; Mark comes to your place late at night, desperate and needy from the effects of an aphrodisiac (the result is a difficulty to walk afterward)
You know there’s something wrong the moment Mark raps desperately at your window. 
It’s been a long week and you had been looking forward to this – pampering yourself with a long everything shower and splurging on soft store-bought gelato while you binge trashy shows off of the internet with your trusty laptop. 
 Mark floats outside, looking agitated, eyes tracking you with unwavering intensity as you draw closer. When you open the window, you can see that he’s unnaturally flushed, sweat beading on his skin despite the chill outside. He looks a little worse for wear, but overall, you can’t see any glaringly obvious injuries.
As soon as you open the window he’s climbing inside clumsily, surging toward you with a desperate sound. 
“Baby, I – shit, got – got hit with something outside,” He stutters, stumbling over his own words and he practically plasters himself to you and goes limp. You nearly go down with him, having not expected to be saddled with 210 pounds of alien boyfriend. “I don’t – feels weird.” Mark looks at you pleadingly and you grow worried. Is he concussed? It takes a lot to actually hurt him, and for a second, you wonder if someone threw a cruise ship at him again.
He’s being pretty handsy too, squeezing at your hips, ghosting his lips over your cheek and forehead. Normally you wouldn’t mind – you’d welcome it, really, but right now, your main concern is whether or not Mark is injured somehow.
“Mark? What’s going on? Are you hurt?” You ask frantically, placing a hand on his cheek and he groans, leaning into your palm. His head tilts down, forehead meeting your shoulder as he trembles minutely, hands smoothing down your ribs and squeezing at your hips. Your breath hitches as he drags the tip of his nose over your neck.
“No, nonono, I just – I feel hot, wanna feel you, s’like it’s burning me up from the inside,” He slurs against your pulse point, lips pressing to your carotid artery, feverish in its temperature. Mark is almost crushing you to his chest as if he can’t live without your skin on his, as if he’s trying to open up his ribs and tuck you into the space next to his heart. His eyes are wide, pupils dilated so much until you can just barely see that gorgeous warm brown you love so much. “Fuck – I’m so hot. Feels better when you touch me.”
Your jaw drops as he nuzzles against you, disbelief and incredulous shock surging up inside you. Are you serious? This sounds like a corny freaking romance novel. Is this really a – 
“Mark did you get shot with a freaking aphrodisiac??” You ask, hardly believing it as Mark pauses in his relentless marking of your neck. God, you’re going to look like a tiger mauled you or something tomorrow. He squints at you.
“Mmaybe. Robot mentioned something like that I think… I wasn’t listening. He told me to go blow off some steam.” He admits slowly with a shrug. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. “ Mark tries to kiss you again but you put a hand to his lips, making him sigh and lean into your palm.
“Hold up. Is there a way to fix this? Did Robot tell you to do anything else?” You ask and Mark wrinkles his nose
“Probably. Said something about physical touch and uh, sex.” He winces. “By the way, do you..? S’not necessary, I think. I was gonna ask earlier but I got distracted.” You blink at him, and he raises his eyebrows.
Since he's been off doing his usual saving of the world and other worlds in space and other other worlds in even deeper space, etc, you've barely seen him all this week. And here he is now, practically draped over you, stubbornly sticking to you like a barnacle. And while you've made do with your trusty vibrator, it's not comparable to the way he feels. 
Also, you've just really, really, really missed him. 
"I mean. I'm down. If it uh, cures you faster then it's fine with me." You reply, ignoring the way sticky heat pools between your thighs at the thought. God, you don't want to sound like a sex-deprived freak but you've been needing him for a while. Mark frowns.
"I don't want it just to be for me," He says in a clear effort to cut through the haze of incredible horniness that is undoubtedly clouding his mind. "If you're not comfortable– "
"Mark. I don't know how else to say this but if you don't do something in the next three minutes, I might jump your bones. What I'm trying to say is that I am willing. Very willing." You confess and he blinks. You blink back at him. Then he laughs and pulls you close, pressing his lips to yours with a relieved little sigh. You melt into him and Mark closes his eyes.
It starts off sweet, soft and gentle as Mark licks at the soft swell of your bottom lip as if asking for permission. It always does – Mark is, at his core, a wonderfully sweet, gorgeous person. But you’re greedy and he needs more, so you press closer, opening your mouth. He groans, his hands squeezing your hips.
Heat coils into your lower stomach as he swallows your moans and moves his tongue into your mouth. It’s messy and slow and when you press your hips against his, he makes a muted hiss of pleasure, fingers tightening on your skin.
It’s easy to follow his lead as he presses closer, your head growing fuzzy as you belatedly remember that you do eventually have to come up for air. You tap the side of his arm lightly and he pulls back, not even out of breath but looking equally as wrecked as you feel. His eyes rake down your body, taking in your soft skin, your figure covered in nothing but a fluffy white bathrobe, smelling of his body wash — smelling like him.
“Bed?” He asks desperately and you nod. You don’t know if the aphrodisiac affecting Mark is contagious but you feel yourself getting embarrassingly wet after a few kisses and you’re pretty sure Mark’s halfway to just grinding against you like a cat in heat. He scoops you up easily like you weigh a couple of grapes and you blink — only to find yourself nestled in bed a second later. 
Mark is already on top of you, somehow halfway done with taking off that stupidly tight suit that shows off his impressive musculature and toned body. He peels off the legs of the suit quickly, kicking it off and leaning down to kiss you again, and again. The noise of quiet relief he makes when he rips away his jockstrap may very well be the most ridiculously sexy thing you’ve heard.  Your hands are already grasping at his pecs, squeezing and pinching, drawing a muffled whimper from the freaking alien currently in the process of divesting your robes from your body. 
“Shit — baby, take this off, take this off now, please,” he begs, fiddling with the knot you’ve tied at the front of your robe. His hands are clumsy and you reach down to do it yourself, figuring that it’s a little unfair to have Mark be the only one naked here. Once you manage to open it up and toss it away, he’s palming at your tits, leaning down to pop one in his mouth while the other is squeezed gently with his other hand.
It feels like fire, his searing tongue drawing circles around your areola and you whine, eyes squeezing shut as a hand comes down to find your clit. It takes a couple of tries but Mark locates the little bead and uses the pad of his thumb to swipe over it, moaning desperately into your skin. There’s a hot coil of bliss building in your gut, tight and expanding with every moment Mark keeps his mouth on your tit.
“Mark — oh god, I’m gonna — nnshit, I’m gonna cum,” you warn shakily and he whimpers at your words, pulling off your breast so he can kiss you messily. It doesn’t quite land and he ends up kissing the corner of your mouth but it’s fine, you don’t care, not when his thumb is rubbing figure eights on your clit. 
“Cum, then, I wanna see you. Wanna see your pretty face when you cum on these fingers,” he murmurs against your cheek, and you nearly sob when you feel a thick finger press against your cunt. Your hips buck as he drags his sopping finger in and out, curving and hooking against your g-spot, the palm of his hand fixed to your clit. “You feel so — so wet, baby. M’gonna add another, okay?” He says, and you nod frantically.
God he feels so fucking good, the stretch is unimaginably delicious as he adds another finger, pace unrelenting as he pumps his digits into your dripping cunt. It feels so much better than your own fingers, thicker and longer, able to hit that one gummy spot inside of you that makes you keen. It’s almost blinding and you tremble as a tidal wave swamps over you, overwhelming and hot like a freaking supernova.
Mark kisses your stomach, nearly reverent in the way he maps a path of wet open-mouthed kisses down your abdomen. He pulls his fingers free from you and pops them in his mouth absentmindedly like he barely even thinks about the motion even though just the sight of that makes you almost cum a second time. 
“So pretty, so so pretty.” He mumbles, dragging his tongue across your inner thigh. While you blink stars out of your vision, he leans down, gently scooping your juices up with his tongue and swallowing them, tracing the outside of your pussy and cleaning you up with the single-minded focus of a man on a mission. You tremble through the aftershocks as he presses a shaky kiss to the hood of your clit.
“Fuck, Mark.” You breathe, carding a hand through short fluffy black hair and bringing him up so you can kiss him. He tastes like you – faintly tangy, slick and he hums quietly against you before drawing away.
“Good?” He rasps, and you nod, cupping his jaw and cheek with your hands. He closes his eyes briefly; if you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought he was calming down. He’s still sweating though – burning hot and so, so needy even though he’s trying to hide it. 
“C’mere, pretty boy,” You croon, reaching down and gently curling around the base of him. He’s silky to the touch and thick, and no matter how often you do this, you’ll probably never stop wondering how you’ll take it. He whines, bowing his head until his forehead meets your shoulder, hips fucking into your palm as you press your thumb to the head, rolling back the foreskin there. “I got you, took care of me so well, baby. I’m gonna take care of you now. Just relax.”
He makes a ragged sound, shuddering as you pump him slowly, his face screwed up in pure relief and bliss. You push him back gently, guiding him until you’re on your knees and he’s sitting back, legs spread. His cock twitches in your palm, practically dripping like a leaky shampoo bottle. The sounds he’s making are heavenly, and you mentally resolve to keep them locked away in your mind forever.
You kiss his tip, working your way down with teasing little sucks and licks until you’re at the base, hand gently working at his balls. Mark draws in a ragged breath, trembling as you mouth at his cock.
“Stop– Don’t tease me please, baby,” He hisses, his hips bucking up when you drag your tongue along the underside. “Oh fuck –come on, feels so good…” 
You obey, if only because he’s starting to look desperate, and you can tell he’s halfway at his breaking point. He’s wonderfully thick, filling your mouth with a satisfying heaviness and Mark throws his head back with a long, drawn-out moan. A hand settles on the back of your head, thick thighs framing your body as you inhale through your nose and go deeper. 
“God – shit! Oh fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck, keep going, uh huh, just like that. ” He rasps, digging his hands into your lovely bedsheets. It’s a bit rough – his hips keep jerking up into your hot mouth even though he babbles out apologies hastily afterward, and his cock drags a bit too far every so often but fuck, it’s good. You don’t know if you can cum from just sucking dick, but if anything, you know that you’re well on your way to finding out. He sounds so out of it already, his voice quivering as he pushes you down further, just a little bit. “Nn– oh god, oh god, you’re so good for me, so good to me. Shit, is that the back of your throat?”
You take the hint, inhaling and swallowing until you physically can’t anymore, jerking off what you can’t fit in your mouth with your hand. With the other hand, you play with your clit, moaning muffledly and Mark swears, no doubt feeling the vibrations from your voice. You think he’s still talking, having always been pretty vocal while fucking you into the mattress or buried in your cunt, but you can’t really make it out through the sound of you messily choking on him.
You can feel him shift above you, the grip in his hair tightening slightly. 
“Oh fuck are you — “ He cums. A lot. You gag, having not expected it and a strangled, low sound erupts from Mark’s chest. You swallow what you can, astounded by the sheer amount as your boyfriend hisses swears and unintelligible gasps.
You swirl your tongue around the tip one last time to make sure he’s done before pulling off of him with a slight pop. He looks wrecked, hot and sweaty, thighs still spread wide. His fat cock is still hard, flushed at the tip and leaking slightly. God, you’ve never met a man with a prettier dick than Mark. 
While he blinks listlessly at the ceiling, you busy yourself with suckling at his balls, rolling and massaging the skin gently as he finally manages to regain lucidity. 
“Baby. Fuck, so — you’re so good. So good.” He mumbles, and you can feel the embers flickering in your lower stomach at his praise. Two strong hands gently pull you up, and you find yourself situated in Mark’s lap, complete with him peppering feverish kisses to your neck and face.
“How do you feel?” You ask and he closes his eyes.
“Like I just had one of the best orgasms in my life. Also super horny. Like. I just — can I fuck you now? Please?” He asks desperately and you look down at his cock. It’s still hard. You’re not sure if he skipped the refractory period all together or literally just got over it super fast. That’s probably an effect of the aphrodisiac. Also holy fuck.
“Jesus. Yes. Please.” You manage, and he kisses you again, soft and gentle as he lays you out over your bed. It feels like reassurance — a quiet reminder. I love you, I love you, I love you. 
“Gorgeous.” He mumbles, crawling on top of you and wrapping a hand around his swollen cock. Mark braces an elbow over your head, giving himself a few short pumps before grinding the tip of his dick against your clit. You nearly cry as he just keeps rubbing against you, slick and hard and you want him inside now. He is smearing pre cum over your clit and while it feels so freaking good, it’s not what you want. 
“Mark — please.” You whisper and he presses a kiss to your stomach.
“Okay. Okay — I got you. I got you.” He murmurs, notching the head at your pussy and slowly pushing inside. You squeeze your eyes shut and inhale tightly through your teeth as you feel the first inch or two squeeze in. You’re probably wetter than the Niagara Falls right now — courtesy of Mark fingering you and eating you out + whatever slickness that was there beforehand but god, the stretch is still intense.
“Crap. Fuuuck.” You hiss and Mark kisses your brow.
”Need me to stop? Too much?” He asks worriedly but you shake your head immediately. 
“No. No, I’m okay. Feels good. God you feel good, Mark.” You groan, and really you’re not lying. He makes a low sound, deep in his chest, pressing his forehead to yours as he slowly bottoms out. He feels so thick inside of you, hot and right and so utterly addicting that you can feel your eyes roll back into your skull.
“Oh — nnnfuck. Feels so — so fucking tight, so pretty, baby, pretty girl, you’re so s— sweet, god,” Mark babbles senselessly. You feel so warm, almost like you’re molded to the shape of his cock. You’re made for him, he’s made for you, fuck, Mark wants nothing more than to just stay here in this moment, wrapped up in you. You’re whimpering breathy little noises he doesn’t even think you realize you’re making, but they sound so fucking nice.
You open your eyes, grabbing at his arm and squeezing. 
“Mark — please, want more,” You’re looking at him with those big eyes, pleading and he’s not going to say no, he’s never going to say no to you. 
He squeezes his eyes shut. It feels overwhelming — but in a good way. Overwhelming in a way that Mark is addicted to, wholeheartedly. Soft, so soft, warm, your hands are on his shoulders, he can feel your chest rising and falling as you breathe —
Fuck, he has to move. 
Slowly, mind numbingly slowly, he drags his hips back, before fucking back into you. It’s gentle, for now. He doesn’t want to do too much too soon, even though his blood is singing for him to just fuck you, hard and fast, the way he knows you like. It sends burning bliss up the length of his spine and his hands travel down to your hips, hands squeezing at the squishy flesh there. Soft. So soft. 
You shudder beneath him, and your thighs try to close from where Mark is nestled in between them. He holds them open and inhales shakily, praying that whatever self-control he has left will carry him through the night. He keeps his thrusts gentle, no matter how much this goddamn aphrodisiac wants him to fuck you straight into the mattress. It’s slow and sticky, sweat clinging to his body — he doesn’t know if it’s his or yours but honestly, he can’t find it in him to care about it for all that long. 
You can’t really think straight. It’s torturous, this slow pace, but it feels so goddamn good at the same time. His cock is angled perfectly to hit that one soft fleshy part inside of you that makes you see stars. He’s everywhere, lips on your neck, hot and searing. You dig your nails into his biceps as he gives a particularly devastating thrust. 
“More?” He asks breathlessly, and you swallow down a whine, nodding quickly. He leans down to kiss you, long and sloppy. You think you might fucking pass out as he begins a much more punishing pace — it’s unforgiving as bliss spreads and blots out everything you can possibly register. “Look so pretty when you take this cock, huh?”
Mark just keeps fucking into you, hard and fast, deep. The small little whimpers and moans spilling from his mouth should not sound that good but god, they do. Sweat beads down his brow and you can actually feel his cock twitch inside of you. It’s hot and sweaty and you’re pretty sure your brain is halfway to leaking out of your ears as molten lava sears pleasantly through your veins like fire. 
Mark just keeps talking, but you can’t make out the words through the sound of your hips slapping against his. You think your bed is rocking with the force of his cock driving you into the goddamn mattress and he hisses a loud swear, pulling out. 
You only have a moment to mourn the loss before he flips you over and slips his cock back inside, bracing his hands on your head besides you. This is how you know whatever self control he was holding onto by a thread has completely snapped. He plants a hand on your hip and drags you back onto him while fucking back into you brutally. 
The way his balls slap against your clit and the feeling of him practically rearranging your insides, you’re not sure you’ll survive this. You think you’re drooling onto your goddamn pillow but you can’t really tell. The only thing you can think about is Mark’s thick cock pounding you into your bed, his hand on your hips, his searing touch. It’s so good, so goddamn good and if you weren’t currently chock drunk, you’d make sure to tell him. 
But your mouth isn’t quite forming words and you can only sob into your pillow, feeling his pelvis smack against your ass. And honestly, Mark isn’t doing much better. The way your tight little pussy clenches around him makes him almost cum on the freaking spot. He knows that he’s not going to last much longer, and judging by the way your thighs tremble, you’re not either. 
“M’gonna make you cum okay? Gonna take care of you, pretty girl, j— just hang in there with me, I got you. Wanna feel that pretty pussy cum on this cock, come on baby,” He whimpers, closing his eyes as the tidal wave of insurmountable pleasure crashes over him and you cry out, arching your back as you cum. 
Mark swears, loudly, as he feels you clamp down on him. He doesn’t even try to stop himself. Doesn’t try to hold anything back or skim off his orgasm by his fucking teeth or something. His hips stutter. 
Hot, sticky cum pulses into you as he groans weakly, his moans growing high and loud. It’s nearly never ending, the soft sweetness of complete bliss overwhelms him, rendering him inconsolable in it’s wake. You can feel him fill you up and you can only gasp quietly. Mark shudders for a second, then pulls out. You wince at the feeling of his cum starting to drip out, pearly beads sliding down your thighs. 
You collapse into bed and Mark lays himself out on top of you, moving slightly to the side as an acknowledgment to your need to breathe. He doesn’t seem like he wants to move any time soon, turning you over so he can see your face. 
“Hi.” He smiles. You smack his arm weakly with a little laugh.
”Hi? That’s the first thing you say to me after you’ve fucked my brains out?” You ask and he shrugs, still glowing, still grinning happily at you. 
“I think — I think I’m good now. Hopefully.” He says and you blink as you remember the whole reason this started. 
”Feel better?” You hum and he kisses your cheek, wrapping an arm around you tightly.
”My metabolism burned through it, I’m pretty sure. Hooray for Viltrumite genes.” Mark mutters and you bury your face into the crook of his neck. He draws the blankets up over you and him, kissing your forehead, then the tip of your nose. 
“We still gotta clean up, Mark.”
”I know. We can take a shower together. For efficiency purposes.”
”…Sure. For efficiency purposes.”
guys I swear I’m not abandoning Miguel I’m gonna write for him soon trust 🙏
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writingoddess1125 · 11 months
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Morticia and Gomez Effect pt. 2
Mihawk X FemReader
Since people liked this made a part two!
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Part 1 <<<
• Mihawk mood had been fowl as of late, Clearly issues had been getting to him silently. His wine intake growing and his irritation rising
• You needed to fix this, Anger was never the most attractive look for your husband anyway-
• He had been home for two days and still hadn't spoke. Instead sitting in his study and doing paperwork while drinking, Sometimes the waft of cigar smoke greeting you as well from the halls.
• "Growling at the wall?" You call out seeing him sitting there scowling at the wall with his face turned up like a beast growling.
• He glanced at you, Seeing you close the door behind you, as well as noticing your done up appearance- mainly the black dress that fit you like a lustful sin he had bought some time again- already lessening his angry face.
• "I am in no mood Wife, leave me" He said with a irritated sigh. He never called you 'Wife' only when truly upset did he say this, Just like how when he was furious he would use your name.
• "I see, so you don't wish for your spirits to be lifted?" You said with a smirk starting to crawl across your face. Walking to the other side of his desk to close a curtain.
• "No- nor do I wish for whatever parlor trick you have p-pla-" Mihawk couldn't even finish his sentence as you pulled down the front of your dress flashing him your naked chest with a smile.
• Just like any man at any age his eyes widened and mind blank at the sight of breast. You quickly pulling the dress back up with a smile.
• He frozen, His drink almost falling from his hand if he didn't clumsily catch it and hold it steady.
• Mihawk stared at you for a moment like he was trying to formulate a response, his stoic face starting to break as a hearty laugh broke through his lips. His woes easily being wiped away by your trick as he tried to wave it away.
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• "Dragostea mea (My Darling) you are too much, drawing me from my mood in such a childish way" He mused as he reached his arm out and pulling you into his lap.
• You smile at his words and nestle yourself against his strong chest, Your fingers playing with the cross on his chest.
• "Well anything for you my Love~" You smile and pepper kisses on his face and lips. He gives a delighted groan and his hand travels to find the zipper of the dress.
• "Idle hands my Love" You warn making him grumble for a short while- Mainly cause you both knew what was coming.
• His lips falling from its smile as the door bursted open and Perona March in like she owned the place. Recently you had been in charge of training her- Especially since you felt like Mihawk was too soft on her.
• Mihawk sighed as he sat up and saw Perona standing there making a face at the two of you.
• "So Gross!-" She tried as she stared at you two and invaded the space, You smoothing down your dark gown as you stared at the young woman with a amused face.
• "What do you want Perona?" Mihawk said as she stomped into the room, You watching her glare at you and look away flustered.
• "I never got a thank you from you for my recent mission!" She yelled as she pointed to you
• "Thats because you failed-" You spoke plainly.
• "I didn't fail!" She began to rant about the events of loosing to someone who flashed rainbow colors and worse 'disgusting' pastels.
• "So you lost to someone in pastels, Didn't get the information needed, didn't listen to the advice I gave you for the last mission. Now you come through here causing a ruckus cause I will not reward you?" You spoke very carefully, watching her stiffen at the lace of irritation through your voice.
• She shuffled a bit awkwardly and gave a single nod. You sighing at this-
• "Now your failing in the mission is one thing but my darling girl- Being beaten by Pastels?" You mused, she had fallen prey to a pastel nightmare was just too much of a burn. Her face turning as pink as her dress as she fluttered out screaming and throwing a temper tantrum thankfully she slammed the door closed behind her.
• Mihawk sighing as he leaned in his chair and pulled you back against him properly.
• "Disobedient" You hummed with a tired sigh.
• "If we had our own they would be more obedient and skilled" He mused, You feeling him place another kiss to the back of your neck.
• Surprised by his words you roll so you are facing him now, seated on him like a saddle. His intense yellowed eyes meeting your gaze before continuing to kiss you this time down your throat.
• "You're making it sound like you actually want one?" You said in mused question, a few breathy moans leaving you as he proceeded to bite rather hard down on your soft skin and his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips.
• Catching his gaze as he pulls back you could read him like a picture book. He did?
• "You actually want a child?" You hummed as your eyebrow raised, Feeling your husband's eyes wonder your form. His arm doing a quick sweep over his desk to push everything to the side and floor, uncaring as he had a goal in mind.
• "I am surprised we haven't already given an army due to us taking caution to the wind" He said calmly, setting you on the desk as his hands made easy work of rolling up the dark garment over your thighs.
• "Well if it's an army you want-" You purr and pull him closer to you by the cross around his neck feeling him close the distance between you two. "We better make up for lost time~"
• He smirked at this as he leaned down to kiss you with wine flavored lips as his hands found the front of your dress and in a fluid motion ripped the fabric down the center.
• Lost time indeed
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@who-the-hockeysticks @vexladin
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leonw4nter · 7 months
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Through Thick and Thin, Always and Forever
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Husband!Damnation!Leon x F!Reader
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No one is spared from that stupid blond baby and his arrows, not even two seasoned agents who are were certain that their hearts would never learn to feel something other than guilt, fear, and hopelessness.
After 5 years of dating and now 17 years married, your marriage with him has faced its ups and downs but you two always managed to make amends and continue on smoothly. Lately, it’s been more of a down: minimal talking, less intimacy, and Leon in worse moods. After a particularly big fight regarding his alcohol consumption and the distance he’s been keeping from you, you two refused to talk to each other. The most you two did in interaction with each other is telling each other “good night” before turning to the other side of the bed, backs turned and “good morning” without meeting gazes. Although things between you too are a little cold and tense, you two still held respect for each other and didn’t do anything that meant to harm the other.
You got up earlier than Leon, your husband still sleeping soundly from his side of the bed; eyes still shut, strands of dark hair that fell over his forehead with his arms crossed and small snores leaving slightly chapped lips. You drank in the vulnerable sight of him, sighing and wistfully hoping that things would go back to normal between you two again. After fixing your side of the bed, you head over to the kitchen to start on breakfast. Taking out the left-overs from last night’s takeout from the fridge, you take a pan and add a small amount of oil before putting it on the stove. You decided to opt for reheating using a pan and stove instead of the readily available microwave since you were feeling a little more diligent than usual. While cooking, you realize that the non-stick coating of the pan you’re using is peeling away. There’s some bits of food sticking to the part of the pan that is bare, those bits burning up. The handle is also a lot more loose, the pan being older than 4 years. I’m going to have to look for a new pan I guess, you think to yourself. After a few more minutes of reheating, you plate the food and place them on the dining table.
“G’morning.”
“God you scared me.” You reply with a small jolt of electricity flowing through your body. You place the plates down, Leon getting up to help you with the others. Instantly, your day gets better now that Leon is doing things like these but you don’t push your luck, knowing that Leon is still a helpful guy no matter what and this could be him being friendly but still upset at you.
He waits for you to take a seat before he takes his, scooping some food onto his plate before he takes a bite. You two have breakfast in silence, him reading some article on his phone while you go looking through Amazon for new non-stick pans. Unfortunately for you, you don’t find any pan that looks good so you put your phone down with a small sigh. Breakfast ends silently with Leon doing the dishes and you sweeping around the house. This time, Leon is speaking up more but he’s still closed off but you’re happy that he’s begun to be a lot warmer to you. You thought about going out to buy the pan but your laziness said no, causing you to opt to stay inside and be curled up with a good book.
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I should’ve bought that damn pan yesterday.
Unfortunately for you, your period started today which meant cramps that you swore was just your uterus doing crazy acrobatics. Of course you were extra cranky, all your emotions upped a notch by a hundred but a tiny part of you was thankful for this because Leon began to warm up more. Just this morning, he offered to change the sheets and wash the old one when you bled into it; it’s as if you two had never fought days prior but you aren’t complaining. Now, you are curled up and buried beneath the sheets while clutching at your lower abdomen while waiting for Leon to come back home. You had sent him on an errand to go get you cheese fries and boba tea which should only take him 15 minutes max but he took a little longer than that. You poke your arm out of the sheets, feeling around for your phone before you finally feel it and drag your arm back inside the sheets. You look for Leon’s number, phoning him to hurry up and get home because you needed his company more than anything.
“Leooonn…” You weakly groan.
“Hm? Yes, sweetheart?” He asks on the other end of the line.
“Got me my food?” You quietly ask.
“Yeah. I’m on my way home, just stuck in traffic. I promise I’ll get there soon baby, hang on,” He responds.
“Okay… I’ll hang up now, the screen is giving me a migraine.”
You press the ‘end call’ button, groaning even louder now that you feel a migraine incoming. Can this day get worse?
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Leon finally arrives home with the fries and boba tea but he makes you drink water and take Advil before you have your snacks, hoping to alleviate the migraine you have going on. He also got a heating pad to help with cramps and offered to give you leg massages since your cramps caused spasms in your thighs as well. After giving you messages and looking after you, he slipped out of the bedroom to go show you something. He comes back with a pan, a non-stick one too.
“Baby is that…” You softly whisper, vision getting blurry with the tears in your eyes.
“Yeah. I saw you going through pans on Amazon so I thought I’d pick one up for you instead,” He explains. He goes on to explain his shopping process, going through the nitty gritty of the features of the cookware.
“The salesman told me that it’s made of stone too so it doesn’t retain strong odors like fish and is oven-safe. You’ll have crispy edges and browned crusts too– honey, are you crying?”
You take a big gulp of the boba before setting it down, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your sweater. Hormones were everywhere, your emotions are a mess, you’re going to be bleeding for the next 5 days and here is your husband: an absolute sweetheart, the only man there is for you. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him tight while trying to keep the tears down.
“Thanks, honey. I appreciate it. A lot. Tons, even.” You softly mumble. He brings a hand to the small of your back, giving you small pats as well. You feel a content rumble from his chest, smiling because you know that your fight is now a thing of the past.
“Anything for my girl,” he responds. “Name it and I’ll get it for you.”
“What if I want cuddles right now?” “Your wish is my command,” he agrees. With a pleased smile, he wraps you in a fuzzy blanket before laying at your side and hugging you like you’re a teddy bear. Well, he’s your teddy bear but today you don’t mind having the roles reversed.
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NOTE - Today's fic is a little short because I am (1) tired and (2) not having a nice time rn!!! Yeyy!!! It's Valentine's Day today (as of writing) and not to sound like a salty person but everyone getting gifts from either their partner or friends made me feel a lot more alone 😭😭 Like a relationship is not what I'm looking for right now but it won't hurt to yk- receive something, even if it's just chocolate or candy. Anyways, I hope your Valentine's Day went great and if you confessed then I hope your feelings were reciprocated and if not then it's not the end of the world yk, you'll find the right one in the right time <3 Tysmm for reading my fics and I <3333 UUUUUUU (also this fic is inspired by that one reddit story)
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The first time Eddie calls Wayne 'Dad' he's three years old. He's been staying at Wayne's for a few days now; dropped off by his parents without warning and with the vague promise that they'd be back for him soon, already screaming at each other before they're back in the car and speeding off out of sight. Wayne doesn't even have a change of clothes for him, doesn't have any toys or books or much of an idea how to take care of a toddler. Luckily the kid seems happy enough getting into every nook and cranny of the trailer, and toddling around watching Wayne clean up in Eddie's wake like a particularly rambunctious shadow.
Right now he's sat on the kitchen floor, one of Wayne's baseball caps hanging off his tiny head, bashing happily at the array of pots and pans he's dragged out of the cupboards. It's one hell of a racket, but after three days of this either Wayne's headache can't get any worse or he's starting to get used to Hurricane Eddie. Besides, it's good to see the boy having fun, unbothered by whatever chaos has been going on at home.
The crashing comes to a sudden stop, silence ringing through the trailer, and Wayne looks over to see Eddie swaying in place, blinking like he's having a hard time keeping his eyes open. The boy's like a puppy, Wayne's learning. Either he's bouncing off the walls or he's asleep, not a whole lot of in-between.
"You tired, kid?"
"No," says Eddie, even as his head droops and a yawn near bigger than he is shakes its way through him.
"Uh-huh. Come on, Charlie Watts; let's get you to bed."
Eddie lets Wayne scoop him up into his arms with only a half-hearted whinge in response. He doesn't even have the energy to fight off Wayne's attempts to brush his teeth and scrub away the grime Eddie somehow manages to accumulate over the course of a day, already drifting off against Wayne's shoulder as he carries Eddie down the hall and tucks him into bed.
"Night, Eddie."
"Goodnight, Dad," Eddie murmurs as Wayne's about to turn off the light.
He freezes in place. The hell's he supposed to say to that? Your dad's not here, kid; God only knows when he's coming back? There's no need to upset the boy. But there'll be hell to pay if Wayne's brother comes back for Eddie only to find out he's taken to calling Wayne 'Dad' instead.
Luckily for Wayne, Eddie's fast asleep before he can figure out what to say for the best.
He presses a kiss to Eddie's mop of curls, and closes the door behind him.
.
Eddie's nine years old now. He's still short, still so skinny he looks like he hasn't had a decent meal in his life, close to bald 'cause the kid can't go two weeks without catching lice, but he seems happier these days than he has in a good long while. That's all that matters to Wayne.
It's his first birthday since Wayne officially became Eddie's guardian – probably the first birthday anyone's ever given a shit, considering the way Eddie's eyes turn to saucers when Wayne hands him his gift.
"Holy shit!" Eddie says as he opens the case and pulls the acoustic guitar from inside. It's not much, just a beaten up old thing Wayne bought off one of the guys at work, but Eddie clutches it reverently, pulls it into his lap like he's amazed he's being allowed to touch it.
"Watch your language," scolds Wayne. He doesn't have the heart to be stern, though. Not when Eddie's staring down at the guitar as if it's the greatest thing he's ever seen.
He watches with a smile as Eddie plucks tentatively at the strings. Maybe he'll come to regret giving Eddie a way to make even more noise than usual, but it might at least manage to hold his focus, maybe even keep him still for more than five minutes at a time.
And God knows, after the past couple years the kid deserves something special.
"You like it?"
"Yeah! Thanks, Dad." Eddie's head snaps up, and his grin falters as he looks over at Wayne sat beside him. "Uncle Wayne, I mean," he says quickly. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it." He gives Eddie a gentle pat on the back. It's enough for the kid to brighten up again, his attention already back to his guitar, the moment forgotten. "Now how 'bout you take that to your room and start practicing while I fix us some breakfast?"
"Birthday pancakes?" says Eddie as he follows Wayne into the kitchen with a hopeful grin, still clutching the guitar against his chest.
"I don't remember promising birthday pancakes."
"I remember, old man."
"Who're you calling old, you little punk?" Wayne says, and shoos Eddie back out of the kitchen. "Go on, get out of here."
He watches Eddie bound down the hall to his bedroom, and after a moment the first clumsy notes fill the trailer.
 .
When Eddie's fourteen Wayne gets a call from the sheriff's office, and he arrives at the station to find Eddie cuffed to one of the desks, sullen and stubborn and looking too much like Wayne's brother for comfort. It's not the first time Eddie's landed himself in trouble, but it is the first time the cops have been involved.
He just prays it'll be the last. Wayne's seen this story play out enough times to know how it usually ends.
When he catches sight of Wayne waiting for him, Eddie just rolls his eyes.
"I 'spose you're about to tell me it was all Jeff's idea," says Wayne once they've piled back into the truck and put the police station firmly in the rear-view. He's not expecting an answer, doesn't expect Eddie to grunt more than a few words at a time to him lately, but the awkward silence is still too alien for him to let it sit.
"It was my idea."
"So you're stealing cars now, huh?" He keeps his tone light, as if they're just talking about Eddie's latest obsession, like always. As if his newfound hobby isn't breaking into cars over in Loch Nora.
"I wasn't gonna steal–" Eddie starts, before he's clamping his mouth shut like don't talk to cops extends to Wayne as well now. He glares back out of the window.
"You know next time it happens the sheriff ain't gonna be so lenient."
"Thanks for the lecture, Dad." Eddie lets out a bitter laugh that can't quite mask the hurt behind it. "Oh, wait a sec…"
Wayne sighs. The subject of Eddie's dad has come up enough times these past few months they're gonna have to have a good long talk about him sooner or later. "That what this is about?"
"No."
"But he's been on your mind, right?"
He glances over at Eddie. He's slumped even lower in his seat, arms folded tight across his skinny chest, and determinedly not making eye contact.
"Trust me, kid, he ain't anything worth looking up to."
"Yeah, well what if I'm a screw up just like he is?"
"You're not."
Eddie scoffs. Wayne watches him until the light up ahead turns green.
"The way I see it," he says, "your life's 'bout to fork in two different directions. You keep on down this road, you end up either dead or in a cell right next to your old man's."
Eddie's quiet beside him, but Wayne can tell he's listening, can see the little furrow to his brow as he turns the words over in his mind.
"Or, you take all that pain and anger you got inside you, and you turn it into something worthwhile."
Finally, Eddie looks back at him. "Like what?"
"Don't have to be big. Don't have to be important. All that matters is it means something to you."
They slip back into silence for the rest of the drive, but it's a more comfortable kind this time, a thoughtful kind of silence. Wayne kills the engine and they climb out onto the dirt in front of the trailer.
"Uncle Wayne?" says Eddie, his voice small. He's still lingering by the truck when Wayne peers back at him.
"Yeah?"
"Sorry," he says. "For being an asshole."
"You're not an asshole, Ed. And you ain't about to turn into one. Not on my watch."
Eddie's mouth twitches. It's not a smile, but it isn't far off. "Promise?"
"Yeah, kid. I promise," says Wayne with a smile of his own, and he curls an arm around Eddie's shoulders, hugging him tight as he steers them inside.
 .
At nineteen, Eddie's lying in a hospital bed.
Wayne's been sat at his bedside for God only knows how long at this point – the days have blurred into a steady stream of doctors and beeping machines, hours and minutes fallen to the wayside. The only time he leaves Eddie's side is when Eddie's friends come by to keep their own vigil.
They're all still waiting for him to wake up.
One hand clasping Eddie's, Wayne reads the paper to him to pass the time. He knows Eddie doesn't much care about what's happening out in the real world, and nor does Wayne right now, but any books of Eddie's are lost in whatever mess the quake left of their trailer, and Wayne needs something to keep his eyes from the angry red bruises circling Eddie's neck.
He looks like he's been strung up. The way the town has been baying for Eddie's blood, it wouldn't be much surprise. The rest of his injuries, though – well, no-one seems to have any explanation for those.
Maybe one day Eddie will be able to provide one himself.
There's a tiny noise above him, and Wayne's head snaps up to Eddie's face. He's watched every flutter of Eddie's eyelids, every twitch of his fingers, heart in his throat until the moment passes and Eddie sleeps on. But this time, Eddie stirs.
"Eddie?"
"Dad?"
He frowns with the effort of cracking his eyes open, struggling under the weight of his own body.
"It's all right," Wayne says. He brushes his thumb over Eddie's cheek, careful to avoid the stitches, and squeezes the hand tucked in his tighter. Eddie grips him back. "I'm right here."
Eddie's bleary eyes focus on Wayne, crinkling at the corners with the smile that spreads across his face. "Dad," he rasps again as tears spill down his cheeks.
Wayne's face is wet with his own as he presses a kiss to Eddie's forehead. "Welcome back, son."
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pressureplus · 25 days
Note
I need that for my comfort!🥺✨ Trans boy reader who started to have dysphoria because his hair a getting to long for his comfort. So he ask to Sebastian to help him cut them shorter, which Sebastian hesitantly agreed. Might not be the best since it’s was cut with some scissors and also because Sebastian never cut hair before. But reader is still happy with the result lol.
This is so cute
Hair and Care 101
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Pairings: Sebastian Solace X TransMasc!Reader
Au: Classic
Warnings: Mentions of Gender Dysphoria
◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟
“And you're sure you want me to cut it? You won't do it yourself?”
“I can't exactly see the back of my head, so yes.” You sit on a stool, hands knitted together in anxiety. You'd asked Sebastian if he would be willing to cut your hair for you today. It had been, admittedly, a bit awkward to ask. He’d been flipping through files and restocking the supplies on his tail when you'd stepped into his shop. Your long hair getting in your eyes and somewhat fanning out nearly down to your hips. You hadn't had the opportunity to get it cut in so long it made your skin crawl. You felt…feminine. Way too feminine. You can't remember the last time you let your hair grow out this long and its made it really, really hard to focus on anything else. Its not just because it gets in your eyes and you can't for the life of you find a hairtie. Its deeper than that. You've started to almost flinch away from your reflections in the water and windows.
You've started to grab at your hips, at your face, poking and prodding and wondering if you can even pass with long hair. You haven't met another person besides Sebastian and the idea of being unable to see yourself the way you should. The way you know in your heart to be right. It makes you uncomfortable. You can only pinch and poke and prod for so long before your skin gets irritated. Right now, sat here, waiting for Sebastian to cut your hair? This was like your skin getting irritated. You had to debate if you were willing to even let another person cut your hair. What if they butchered it? What if it made you look worse than before? What if he fucked it up so bad you looked like one of those weird troll dolls but worse somehow? It had been your biggest worry for quite some time, until your hair got long enough that you couldn't stand it anymore.
“I feel like I should make you sign a waiver.”
“Sebastian, Im serious. Please, just cut it, I don't care if it's the worst thing ever. I can't keep walking around like this.”
“You understand my hands are too big to fit these scissors properly, right?”
“Doesnt matter, just get it done.” He sighs and grabs a collection of your long locks, specifically the one around your face. He straightens the hair to the best of his abilities using a hand so he can make the cleanest cuts he can.
“Why does this matter so much to you? Shouldn't you be, I don't know, focused on surviving? I mean paying me for a haircut seems a bit much.”
“Its…complicated.”
“How complicated can it really be?” He hums as he continues to make cuts, the sound of scissors through hair joining the sound of dripping water and Sebastian's voice. Would he even be cool about something like this? He doesn't particularly like anyone, and he's not really friendly with you either. Would he use it against you somehow? Would he get aggressive about it?
“I just feel kind of…feminine, and it makes me uncomfortable.” You mutter and this only gets a chuckle, sounding condescending.
“Oh, Expendable, long hair doesn't make you any less of a man. Don't be ridiculous.”
“I just don't like it.”
“Look, all I'm saying is, you could have bought a medkit instead of a haircut. If its this important than fine. Who am I to tell you how to spend your collected data?”
“Whether it makes me more of a man or not, is it wrong of me to not like feeling…” You trail off, and all at once, Sebastian tenses mid cut.
“Oh…thats what this is about.” His tone softens up a bit, the mild poking he had been doing immediately being cut out as he carries on cutting your hair.
“This isn't too stupid of a purchase, I guess.” He adds on.
“Yeah?” You ask as he finishes up, putting the scissors to the side and ruffling your hair to get any loose strands out.
“Yeah. Go take a look,” he motions towards the water so you can see yourself in the reflection. You peer down into it curiously and immediately your shoulders relax. You hadn't even realized you'd been tense. Your hairs a bit choppy, admittedly, but its not ugly or particularly butchered by any means. He was oddly thoughtful and careful about taking care of your hair for you. Even saying it was ridiculous to spend your data on, he didn't ruin it for you on purpose.
“Its good, you did a good job.”
“Yeah, well, I'm sure if you keep coming to me I'll get better every time.”
“Im sure you will, then.” You give him a smile and he kind of awkwardly smiles back for a moment. A bit of hesitation as you grab the keycard off his desk and put your swimming gear back on now that its dry.
“Wait.”
“Ah- Yes Sebastian?” You turn, concerned about what he might say. He's not stupid and you're certain he's figured you out by now. If he doesn't like it, there's nothing he can do about it sure but you always tense when people get all awkward around you. He hesitates a moment longer before giving you a little wave.
“You look better with short hair anyway.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, I do…now go on and get out of here. I've got other Expendables to deal with and a mess of hair to clean.”
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prettyboykatsuki · 4 months
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literally BEGGING you to elaborate on oliver and his doggirl... trying to be nonchalant and aloof but your tail won't stop fucking wagging and him mocking you for it... HIM GRIPPING IT AND TUGGING A LITTLE IN PRONE BONE...
✮ tags ; hybrid stuff, self indulgent nonsense, hybrid heat, petnames (pup, mutt, girl etc.), petting and praise etc, reader has a sad backstory lol and this became??? crazy soft?? free me from this, mentions of dog fighting and hybrid mills. its v brief
✮ a/n ; this is a little pathetic for me but whatever. also
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You're not a stray.
Not exactly.
Oliver isn't exactly looking for a hybrid when he comes to the pound. He's trying to pick up the girl who works there, more specifically. Really you're getting in the way of that - which is why he even meets you in the first place. His failed attempts at picking her up have him following her all around the facility.
You're a recent find - an abandoned and highly intelligent hybrid. You're capable of non-verbal communication and generally speaking independent. But it's rare that people come to look after you since you're well past being cute and cuddly on first glance. You've got visible scars and everything.
You're more mangy, more mutt than puppy and you've got a nasty glare until she comes to greet you. Oliver isn't exactly trying to adopt a hybrid when he meets you, but you lock eyes and he gets the strangest feeling.
You're definitely uncute.
Oliver tries to stay away from all the hybrid stuff. He doesn't even really like pets. But he knows enough about them to know that most people look to take a hybrid home want them to be cute, obedient, and clueless.
From the scars on your face and the general disdain you show him, a warning growl in the low of your throat - he can tell you're none of these things. Fuck you too, really. If Oliver brought a doggirl home, it wouldn't be you anyway.
The girl he's trying to sleep with has nothing but adoring things to say about you. At one point, she's petting you and you're licking against her hand with something he's damn sure is smugness. It's personal after that - driven by petty annoyance Oliver agrees to bring you home.
You definitely understand given the way you protest. You're cagey when he tries to get near you - bitey and difficult. Mean.
The weight of his choice doesn't really hit him until he's home with a doggirl and none of the things necessary to care for you.
Though Oliver is a lot of things, he's not a complete piece of shit. It was mostly a choice made on a whim, but it'd be a lie to say he wasn't drawn to you in some unknowable and nonsensical away from before.
So, Oliver becomes a hybrid owner to a very mean doggirl in the span of a few days.
For the first few months you live together, you do nothing by fight with him. You tear up his furniture, ruin his clothes, growl loudly when he tries to bring girls over and suck up to long-time hook-ups so he can't get rid of you. You spend a lot of time making his life difficult and his life alone. When he's busy from work, all the sitters only have nice things to say about you. Well-behaved, quiet, easy to handle.
It's just him you seem to drive crazy.
You understand every word out of his mouth but pretend otherwise. He spends a lot of time threatening to toss you out onto the street. Worse though, you get a real kick out of pissing him off.
He ends up calling the shelter again after a while goes by with no improvement. He calls with full resolve to send you back to that damn place, but the cute girl picks up the phone.
He doesn't even ask to hear about you. She just starts talking as soon as she hears him.
They ran background through some tags and found you prior in the system. It's a chilling feeling hearing where you used to come from - a fucking hybrid mill to a rich family with no morals - something to do with dog fights. Oliver watches you sleep in the corner of the living room, curled up on the dog bed he bought you that you've always been territorial over.
You've never been able to sleep without fits, but he didn't put together that their may be any reason for it.
He hangs up the phone in the dark that night, too prideful to say sorry - but decides to try and get along with you the best he can afterwards.
There's a weird period of adjustment where Oliver gives up on trying to get you to behave around him. He deals with your messes and growling in nonplussed silence and sometimes amusement, and occasionally feels so guilty about all of it he pets your head when you're asleep. All soft fur and pointed ears and fitful rests.
He feels kind of ridiculous about all of it - but the change in behavior on your end is incredibly noticeable. Eventually you also seem to give up on trying to fight him.
It's tense and not much more than camaraderie at first.
Once you get comfortable, you act like a lot more like a dog than he was expecting. You move your things to sleep by the foot of the bed and greet him when he comes home despite not having any prior interest. You don't get on the couch unless he invites you up, and you wake him up properly to take you on walks and run together. You're an athletic breed and keep-up with him fine.
It's weird, but Oliver finds you to be pleasant company when you're not trying to piss him off. You're intelligent, clever and curious. He starts to find you cute when he starts petting you as soon as he's home from practice. Try as you might to keep up the nonchalant act, you perk up adorably every time. Your tail wags and you you get just a little impatient and Oliver can't help but find it sweet after all you've been through.
He teases you about it every time, and you growl and hiss but still preen under the praise anyways. Times like that you feel more puppy than mutt.
He doesn't know when exactly the lines blur, or when he it becomes so normal to make you curl into bed next to him. When the affection makes him bleed to into a proud enough puppy owner to praise and sometimes spoil you between teases.
He's grown quite fond of you over the last few months.
So, when you spend all night in distress, he find himself honestly worried.
You spend an entire night whimpering before he decides to call in sick for practice and stay with you. But you're avoiding him like the plague, in an entirely different way than you were before. It's a hassle to get you to let him onto the bed without growling. He spent all morning googling symptoms before a forum from years back asks the exact same questions as him.
dude she's probably just in heat. chill out.
The realization dawns on him a little too later as he manages to pull you away from the pillows you're buried in as he sits next to you.
Your face is flush when he finally gets a good look at you. It's clear all at once that you are going through heat. Your gaze is lust addled and embarrassed - when he lays you flat on your stomach, you rut against the air in ashamed groan. You've always been so smart for a hybrid, maybe smart enough to know shame and humiliation better than most.
Most hybrid owners have this taken care of already. Sometimes bringing another hybrid home to take care of it. Oliver though, feels responsible for you - so he decides to be the kind of owner to take care of it himself.
You must know that, just like you know that it'll be painful unless you get some relief.
You look so embarrassed when Oliver glances at you. He doesn't know what it is exactly. "Were you planning on whining like that for your entire heat?"
You make a soft noise in the back of your throat and try to roll away from him in bed. Oliver is quick to catch you though as he lays down beside you. His hands planes around your stomach, laughing against the back your neck as your tail brushes against his shirt. You're squirming. He's never heard you hiccup so much.
"Did you suddenly get shy about needing my help?" He asks, affirmed by the desperate shake in your throat when you whimper. "Take what you need puppy. Go on."
Your eyes go wide. You understand him clear as day. He thinks normally you would nip at him for the smugness in his voice, but you don't. You're docile and uncertain, and your hands shake so terribly that you can barely turn around.
But Oliver is a responsible hybrid owner, no matter how petty. Turns to help you face him while he drags his thumb across your lip - your canines nearly cutting his thumb as he pulls your lips back to the examine them. He takes a long look at you - the ears on your head twitching and your tail wagging with such desperation he can't help but laugh.
"'s good I know something about this, huh girl? C'mere."
He thought he'd feel more put off by all of it - but he doesn't. The difference in how you act is stark and Oliver can't help but find it endearing. You whine and whimper when he kisses you and puts a hand in your shorts. You don't really know how to kiss proper, but Oliver doesn't mind.
You kiss like a puppy, he figures. You lap at the scruff of his cheek and nudge him, your hands settled on his shoulders gripping at him when he plays with your tender clit. You bury your face in his neck and inhale slow.
"You're latched onto me," He hums. You growl without any real threat. "D'ya always get this sweet when you're all wet or is it just the heat talking?"
A soft sound emits when he rubs you nice and slow. There's desperation to your voice, huffing and panting as whine again. "You want my dick, pup? Is that why you keeping whimpering?"
When you pull away to look at Oliver, your eyes are shiny. It's not a face he's seen you make. Your pupils are dilated, drool at the corners of your taut lips - sliding down your feisty canines. He can't help but be surprised. He watches you as you wiggle out of your shorts before turning towards him again, inviting him towards with pure lust and need.
He feels his throat dry up at the gesture. He kind of feels like a freak but it's outweighed by his desire. His voice is weak. "It might hurt if we're not careful."
You huff against his neck and it sounds like saying please. He's more quick to cave to you than he thought.
"Alright, alright - stop growling at me, jeez," He reprimands, though he isn't mad at you. He pulls your leg up, eyes settling between your bodies admiring your cunt in the soft lights. All the hairs shiny and slick from arousal.
He's careful as he's pushing into you. You're right that it was fine - there's less resistance than he's used to. Must be something to do with heats. You mewl against his neck and chest as the tip stretches you, gripping his shoulder as you huff him with need. You like licking him - though you rarely do outside of this. He can't hold back his amusement when your tongue laves over his jaw and all the pointed scruff. Your cheek presses to his as he starts to bottom out.
He pulls back to kiss you as he buries the length of his cock into your tight, wet pussy. You can't help but slobber into his mouth, all messy and dirty. It's so fucking cute. Makes him so hard he's almost ashamed. Almost.
Clinging aside, there's real desperation in the way you seem to need him. When he thinks of how deep you ask for him, he pulls out again much to your dismay - before turning you onto your stomach so you can bury yourself comfortable in the scent of his sheets.
He slips his cock into you against just like that, all the down to the base of his shaft and groans as you clench around him. He can see the drool dampen his pillowcases. The right choice.
He doesn't have much control of his hips after that. Can barely contain himself as your pussy grips onto him for dear life. He's not trying to be mean, really - but for all the shit you like to give him, you're so pliable with his cock in you. Your tail wags and shakes each time he slams his hips and he can't help but tug it. Just to hear you whine some more like a sweet little doggirl ought to.
"Should've done this from the start, huh girl?" He hums it as he bends over you, face close to your pointed ears. "Needy fucking puppycunt needed some attention from it's owner, I get it now. Let's stay on good terms, okay?"
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Text
All I wanna do is go the distance
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Pairing: König x Reader
Summary: You’re determined to find out why everyone thinks König is so scary, afterall he’s just some guy that’s taller than most people right? He’s probably harmless! Well, he’s a little scary, but you still like him anyway.
(No use of y/n or mention of gender/race)
AN: Hey guys, I'm super excited to give you guys this next chapter 💕 I have big things planned hehe
I would reccommend reading this oneshot, but as I am not jon favreau, you don't have to read extra stuff I make to understand the main stuff. Enjoy 😈
Part 7 of A Rocky Start - Full Masterlist Here
-☠️-
It had taken a few weeks for your head to get completely right again after the concussion. On some days you worried that you’d never get through the fluorescent infested hallways of the base without jamming your fists in your eyes ever again. Sometimes you’d catch Price staring at you with those concerned world weary eyes of his in the worst moments, when the headaches were screaming outwards, bursting through your skull. Though with enough time, and a lot of pain killers, the pain died down and dulled until you were completely back to normal.
It was a good thing too. For one, getting Price off your back while you were continuing to sneak around with König was a must, being under the microscope was only making the head trouble all the worse. And for another, which you were sometimes shocked to think was the secondary reason, you’d been going on more and more missions again as the 141 and KorTac got ever closer to tracking down Rousseau. Things were getting tense now, Ghost had been falling under a lot of pressure to perform and his temper was all over the place. Oftentimes you’d be the lucky one that had to chase him and calm him down.
In the months and missions after you’d come back you’d put away three of Rousseau’s men behind bars, including a very high level man that acted as his consigliere. Apparently he’d been worked on quite a bit since his capture. 141 weren’t privy to the intimate details of course, that was up to the CIA and KorTac, but as far as you’d all been told he’d given over a wealth of information on Rousseau’s location and even some limited blueprints of his hideout. 
Price had told you all in advance that intelligence would be confirming your next mission in a matter of days, so you should all stick close to the base. You were actually getting ready for an upcoming training exercise, Rousseau’s man revealing the details on his base meant that command were adamant that you did a run through first and came up with a successful strategy for the big boss’ take down. 
Luckily for you, because of the stay close order, that meant more time in your little airbnb paradise. The place was starting to feel like home. You were both etching yourselves into the apartment, carving your living narratives into it. 
You could identify marks where König had been clumsy and dropped things or scuffed his boots against the wall. There was a tiny stain on the couch from where you’d come and sat after a mission. Lastly, but not least of all, was the curtain that had been sneakily stitched up to the railing after you and König had accidentally pulled it off several of its hooks when you’d grabbed it a little too enthusiastically one night. And on top of it all was the lingering smell of the room spray you’d bought a few weeks into renting the place, preferring the smell of ‘violet rain’ over the faint notes of tobacco that clung to the walls from other renters.
Sometimes you and König even liked to tell each other ‘see you back at the house’. It was becoming all so humdrum to you both.
You smiled as you glanced over at König one night, ruminating over your little routine. The warmth of you could’ve lifted the apartment into the air. It just felt so good to know that you had something that was yours, something that wasn’t your job, something that wasn’t a material thing, you had a life with König. It was most apparent to you when you watched him, when he was free of his hood and his armour and plates and he lay on the bed on his phone, unburdened from rules and duty. He undressed himself from the myth and lay comfortably as König the man, lounging in his boxers and T-shirt like any boyfriend would act with their partner.
Though that night, his brows were knit together in concentration and his lips were pursed, he was adamant that he be left alone for a minute to do whatever it was that he was doing. It intrigued you because he was rarely so mysterious, normally he’d tell you if it was a work thing, but this time he just waved you off and told you not to be nosy. That being the case, you were watching him closely trying to see if he’d give you any hints or signs of what was so captivating on that screen of his.
“I can feel those doe eyes burning a hole into me,” he chuckled, finally gracing you with his attentions.
“Can you blame me? You’re being all suspicious,” you shrugged, tilting your head a little to see if he’d explain himself.
“I’m not being suspicious, I just asked for some quiet.”
“You said ‘Sneaky, I have something I need to do, but don’t look’ and then when I asked if it was work stuff you said no. That - is suspicious.”
“Well it gave you an excuse to imitate me, so that’s something isn’t it,” he scoffed. 
“Well, you know I do it so well,” you grinned, watching with delight as he rolled his eyes.
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” you repeated, feeling as if you were copying him perfectly. 
“If you think that’s how I sound then I'm surprised you have any kind of attraction to me,” he laughed.
“Well some days are a struggle more than others, but-”
You weren’t given the chance to finish your sentence, he’d forgotten all about his phone and thrown it from his lap, launching himself at you faster than any RPG you’d seen. In a matter of seconds you were pinned to the bed and fighting for your life, tears pouring from your eyes as he tickled you and trapped you underneath his annoyingly unyielding legs. 
“What happened to the Sneaky that cried when I told them that I was bullied for my accent in school, hm? Now you’re making fun of me? I’ve got to say, that hurts me Sneak,” he said, an overdramatic fake upset lacing his tone. “You deserve every bit of this!”
You cried out and tried to protest, making a grab for his hands, but were merely shoved away when you made any kind of headway in distracting him. You wriggled and squirmed and screamed, but it was all for nothing. There was no way to make him stop until he wanted to.
“Kö- K…König, please!” you yelped, struggling to breathe. “Enough!”
You were beginning to feel like a struggling furnace as you endured his torture. Your lungs were burning from their failing efforts and you only screamed more as you grew tired of trying to fight back. The second he finally stopped his assault, you gasped in a huge lungful of air and laid back, groaning as you looked up at the blaring lights overhead and registered your sweaty forehead. 
“Remind me not to bully you again,” you sighed, finally finding your voice again.
“Mhmm. I tell you all the time, but you just always insist on being so mean to me regardless,” he chuckled, unhooking his legs from your sides.
König came to rest beside you and tucked a stray strand of hair back in its place. His eyes scanned over your heaving chest and he laughed as he watched you attempt to struggle into a sit. Nevertheless you managed to wobble yourself upwards on the shaky mattress and looked down at him, then over to his forgotten phone. 
“Will you do that again if I try to ask what you were doing so suspiciously on your phone?”
“There’s only one way to find out,” he smiled.
His new favourite line. The way he said it, it always had the undertones of a threat, but it was never said outright maliciously. König could affect his voice with so much masked intent it would have your head spinning sometimes trying to work out what he’d do next. Sometimes you’d get lost thinking about how long he’d practised that. The unfortunate people that had come across his path and challenged him, ending up with a far worse fate than just your tickling. Though you never liked to dwell on it for long. 
“What were you suspiciously doing on your phone, König?” you said, pulling yourself out of your thoughts before you got too sucked in. 
“Well, if you must know…” he trailed off and made a jump toward you, pretending he was going to attack again.
“No! No, no, no! Not again,” you cried out, leaping away from the bed. 
You made a mental note to thank Soap and Ghost one day, all their messing with you had made you quick on your feet. Instinctively, you threw your hands up ready to fight and narrowed your eyes, watching his every movement like a hawk. König remained on the bed though and sat up, laughing and shaking his head to himself as he picked up his phone again and scrolled through it. 
“Please, Sneaky, you really think I’m going to be threatened by those fists?” he tutted, not even looking at you as you remained in your defensive stance. “Put them away and come sit down.”
“These hands have killed people!” you defended.
“Yes, I know that, you’re a good soldier.”
“Exactly, so you should be threatened,” you retorted.
“If I was anyone else, sure. You’d never hurt me though,” he said, looking up from his phone with a smug grin. “I’m your boyfriend after all.”
You felt your cheeks heat up and immediately covered your face in your hands. Every little bit of you was drowning in the feeling of your thundering heart.
König didn’t much care for that particular title, he usually preferred to say partner, but he knew how it made you feel and he weaponised it as much as he possibly could. Knowing that he was all yours still scattered the butterflies in your stomach and you always felt like a little kid in the face of his teasing. You couldn’t help that him being officially yours still got you so excited.
“Are you ever going to stop using that against me?” you mumbled, finally coming to sit by him.
“No. I like watching you get flustered,” he chuckled. “It’s very cute.”
Before you could protest anymore though, he slung his arm around your waist and pulled you in for a kiss, softly releasing all the fight you had left with his teasing lips and tongue. You were locked together for a few moments and sighed contentedly when he broke away, pressing your head to his shoulder and feeling ready to sink down into the bed with him. 
Though it wasn’t time for that yet.
“Would you like me to show you what I’ve been working on?”
You opened your eyes and faced him again, watching his nervous smile grow. Seeing him look so sheepish re-sparked your curiosity and you nodded, ready to see what it was. He hurriedly entered his password and the screen flashed open, landing on the homepage screen with a shot of you both from one of your photobooth pictures from an impromptu date months before, before your concussion. Pictures he was adamant that he couldn’t let you keep because he had to protect his image, even if he was wearing his half mask at the time. As if he was somehow a much better secret keeper than you.
You smirked at the memory of all the playful bickering you’d done over those photos and shook your head, eyeing the screen again as König brought up his tabs. He clicked onto the latest one and it opened onto a confirmation email. It wasn’t what you’d expected, not that you were sure of what you even were expecting. As you read it you raised your brows and looked up at him, wondering what was happening. 
“This is a confirmation email for renting a hire car from some company in Austria,” you stated. 
“Some company has a name,” he retorted. 
“I’m not going to insult you by trying to pronounce that.”
“I see you’re restraining yourself now,” he laughed. “Well yes, it is a hire car confirmation for a cheap company in Vienna.”
“And you’re hiring a car in Vienna because?”
“Because, in a few months time, I’m taking you to Austria. Now, wait! Before you protest, I’ve thought it all out and you don’t need to worry about explaining any passport stamps to Price. I’ve found us flights to Slovakia and a train that can take us from Bucharest into Vienna, and from there I can take you around to see the country for a few days.”
He hastily explained himself and you smiled as you watched his hurried hand movements, his body in a flurry of motion. It was particularly fun to see him turn his hand into, what you figured, was a high speed train. He looked at you seriously as he finished, waiting in a suspended state of worry to see what you’d say. 
As if you’d disappoint him. 
“You sat and booked all that just for us?”
��Of course. I’ve really wanted to take you for a while now, so when you said you had time booked off and the higher ups indicated this mission will be coming to a close soon...I thought, this is the time. So what do you say? Will you come with me?”
“Obviously! I’m so excited, I can’t believe it. I’m getting to go on holiday with my Boyfriend,” you laughed, this time making yourself squeal. “It's gonna be so good! We’re gonna eat so much good food and see so many cool places and oh-  I wanna see those mountains you were talking about! Can we go?”
“We will see the mountains, yes. I’ve put time aside for that,” he laughed.
“You’ve planned the whole trip already?” you asked incredulously. 
“Sneaky I’ve been planning this for weeks,” he smiled. “I just finished the last arrangements there. I want to keep most of it a surprise, but…I actually have one thing on there that I need to ask you about before we go though.”
“Oh?”
He pursed his lips again and looked away before looking back to you. 
“I was wondering if you’d like to go out to Burgenland? To my mothers house.”
Your heart skipped a beat and somehow you managed to reach new levels of excitement. Meeting König’s mum meant a lot more to him that it did for most people. It came with a lot more meaning. Meeting König’s mum meant that he was accepting you as part of his family, it meant that he wanted you to know more of his annoyingly buried secrets. It meant that he’d have to tell you his name. 
It’s not like his own mother would call him König. 
It had been a sore subject for a little while. The cause of your only serious fights so far. You’d pushed to know a couple times, complaining that he wasn’t letting you in and that it was ridiculous that you were a couple and you wouldn’t even know what to call him  if anything should happen. Something could happen to him out in the field and all you’d know is a codename, he could be taken away from you and you’d never know who he was. 
Of course König argued that that was ridiculous and you knew more than almost anyone knew about him - excluding his mum of course. He claimed that his name was just a burden, that it was just something that would give people an excuse to take from you. Though you argued about that as well, if someone wanted to hurt you to get to him then they’d do it anyway. It didn’t matter if they believed you knew his true identity or not. 
The last time you’d gone almost hysterical because the whole thing was so silly to you. The little airbnb walls felt like they were going to go flying with all the verbal mortars being thrown, like you were going to be swept up like something from the wizard of Oz. You’d both bickered back and forth, forming a dark comedy sketch, two squeaky little cartoon characters that were on the verge of strangling each other as you both held your ground.
“Why does it matter if I know! You keep saying people will come for me, and that it's more dangerous to know you, but it's not that. I know it's not that! Otherwise you wouldn’t be seen with me, you wouldn’t have let me come this close. You just can’t face that all your walls would have to come down. You just don’t want to let me in.”
“It is dangerous to know who I am, how many times must I list the reasons? But you know what, fine, you’re right.You win! I’d love to let you in fully, but yes I am afraid of letting you close! Even though you have no idea how much you’ve taken already. I’ve given you more of me than anyone else has ever gotten, even while it’s been hard. You have no idea how hard all this is for me.”
“Hard for You? I’m in a relationship with someone that won’t tell me their name!”
 “Because it's the last thing I have to protect myself! If you leave me, what then? You could decide you want out of all this complication and find someone nice and simple and then where would I be? You’d have taken everything from me.”
“What am I taking from you? Knowing who you are is not taking anything from you König. Besides, I’m not leaving you. Why do you think I’m so hell bent on trying to find someone else when I spend all my time jeopardising my job just to be here with you? You think I like facing down Price knowing that he’d turn on me if he knew what I got up to in my spare time? I put the respect of someone that I deeply care about on the line, just so that I can be with you and you’re acting like I’m ready to run off at the first chance!”
“Because you’ve done it before!”
“That’s not fair and you know it.”
König may as well have turned and stuck a ten foot spear through your heart. You’d felt a tide of tears wash up in your eyes and you’d walked away from him then, not willing to let him see how much he’d hurt you. Not that that was an option. From his widened eyes alone, you knew that he’d known it was a mistake to dredge up old wounds, his sparkling blue irises dimming as he lost his self conviction. 
“Wait! Hold on, I’m sorry.”
König raced up to you and stopped you in your tracks. His strong arms wrapped around you fast and held you snugly against his chest as pathetic droplets of tears streaked your burning cheeks. You didn’t bother trying to free yourself from him. You just whimpered and clung to him as he shushed you and apologised for what he’d said, kissing your dampened face like it was nothing.
“I’m so sorry. What I just said was stupid. Will you please come sit with me for a moment… I have something I want to tell you.” 
A flare of anger and rebellion flared in you for a second. It was stamped out immediately, but just for a moment you wanted to storm off and tell him that if he wanted to keep you from knowing him then he’d done a great job - that that was it. Though, you couldn’t bring yourself to follow through. Even when you hated him at that moment, you couldn’t bear to see him upset again. You knew that you’d hurt him badly already that day you’d run from him in the park outside the base, you knew that you couldn’t bring yourself to do that again. 
“Ok,” you’d sniffled.
He’d sighed and taken you to the couch, sitting across from you after propping you up against your favourite fluffy pillow. You held onto it with one of your hands, losing yourself in its soft textures as you threaded your fingers through it. König watched you play with the loose strands for a second before looking you in the eyes, his face a perfect picture of remorse. 
“You didn’t really run away from me, that was silly of me to say.”
“I did run from you though, I ran from you that day you tried to explain yourself after the mission” you frowned, not able to help your crackling feebly. “You were  right, I can’t act like I haven’t given you reasons to be wary.”
“No. You didn’t leave me then though. You agreed to work through things and I suppose that’s what we’ve been doing…with mixed results,” he said, laughing dryly. “You haven’t really given me reason to be like this. This is what has happened after years of keeping people out and I suppose…I’m just having a hard time adjusting to what it feels like to let someone in.”
“I know. I know that really,” you sighed. “It's just hard sometimes because sometimes it feels like things are as they should be, like everything we have is so normal. Then I snap back to reality and there’s all this stuff with work where we have to pretend to hate each other and then we have missions that don’t line up and we don’t get to speak, like not even a phone call a lot of the time. Then there’s this intrusive voice I have over it all saying- well saying ‘you don’t even know his name, what is it we really even have together’ and I know its ridiculous and we care about each other and I should ignore it all-”
“It’s not ridiculous,” König soothed. “I feel the strain of these things too.”
He leaned forward then and grabbed your hands, making you jump as you were taken out of worrying at the pillow. His calloused fingers rubbed against yours and his warm grip kept you grounded into reality. The scars that scraped up the backs of his arms jumped up at you in the warmth of the yellow lights, his whole body a patchwork of battered skin. You traced your eyes from his rough hands and arms, up to his bobbing adam's apple and to the depths of his ocean eyes and worried face.
König’s jaw was tensed and he breathed as he worked up to what he was going to say. Your own breath was held then, lungs burning as you waited for him to speak.
“Other people have let me down in the past. My mother moved us to Germany for a manipulative piece of shit that hated me and looked to rid himself of me at every opportunity. I grew up with few friends, in a country that wasn’t mine, and fought so hard for so long that I didn’t know how to be vulnerable. I met a woman after I was forced to join the army that told me I was a hollow shell of a man, and that no one should have to be sentenced to dealing with me…There’s times I’ve agreed with her too, I’ve moved through life feeling like half a person some days. Then I met you. None of what I’ve told you is any excuse to treat you badly, but sometimes I’m so set in my distrust that I can’t let myself cross the lines I need to be able to get to where you are….And- and for you…I’m working on crossing those lines, because you’re the only person I’d ever want to give myself to, but for now its a slow process. You’ve seen my full face, we’ve made love and I have given you almost everything that I can give you for right now. All of this is to say…well - to ask - if you would give me a little more time and allow me to keep working on things with you.”
Listening to him then, as his voice crackled and wavered with emotion, was so very difficult. He kept a hold of your hands the whole time, his fingers shaking as he went on. His whole body looked ready to crumble as he explained himself.
Though before he could be brought down by everything you leaned over and held him, winding your arms around him as tightly as they would go. You hugged him close for the rest of the night and whispered to each other in the darkness when you went to bed, giving your affirmations, like a secret promise, that everything would be ok. 
As you thought back to that night, your body shook with an icy cold shock of frisson. You didn’t want to go through that again. 
“I would love to meet your mum, König,” you said softly, swallowing as you tried to tactfully avoid another horrific argument. “Does this mean…that you’ll tell me your name soon?”
He smiled knowingly at you and nodded, stroking the warm apple of your cheeks fondly. 
“I will tell you sometime soon, yes,” he confirmed, speaking warmly.
You felt a beaming smile shine brightly over your face and jumped on König, feeling full force  of excitement as things seemed to be heading in a good direction. Everything was lining up. Your mission would be done soon, you and König wouldn’t have to worry about sneaking around anymore because the taskforce would have some downtime until you were called upon again for some other earth shattering mission. After that you were going to finally learn his name. 
You sighed. It was almost too good to be true. 
“You just gotta promise me one thing,” you said, shifting your tone seriously. 
“What?” he asked, breaking away from your hug so that he could look at you properly. 
“If it’s something ridiculous you have to prepare me in advance.”
He rolled his eyes and groaned, falling comically backwards onto the couch. 
“I’m being serious,” you laughed. “If it’s something crazy like Wolfgang or Ferdinand I need to be prepared!”
“Do you really think that that’s what Austrian people are called?” he giggled.
“I have no idea! This is what I’ve been saying, I could see your passport in a few months time and could be having to fight myself not to laugh!”
“You would really laugh at my name if you thought it was silly?” he snorted. 
“All I can promise that I’ll try not to,” you grinned, crossing your hands over your heart while he stared back at you with a displeased glare. “All I’m saying is that if I see something mad I can’t be held accountable for my actions.”
He rolled his eyes again and sighed dramatically, throwing his hands up into the air. 
“I can’t believe I’m being lectured on silly names by someone called ‘Sneaky’.”
“Hey!”
-☠️- 
When Price called you all in the next day, nothing could’ve prepared you for the shitstorm that was going to ensue. Though you were feeling the full force of it as you stood in the darkened labyrinth of the warehouse that had been set up to emulate Rousseau’s hideout. The 141 and KorTac had been told to find the best way to clear the base and get to Rousseau, but the problem was that you were taking too long and being overwhelmed by too many of Price’s fake men. There were just so many rooms that were connected to other rooms and it meant that a lot of men could get by each other undetected. It was a nightmare.
You’d run through the exercise around eight times already and the more that Price was making you reset, the more tension was being put on the team. It was only a matter of time till someone snapped. Although, given their quick temper and worn down attitude in the last few months, you were sure of who that person was going to be the entire time. 
In the latest reset, you stood next to one of the floppy wooden walls and bit your tongue, watching on with fear as Ghost marched up to König and got in his face. They were almost mask to mask, eye to eye as Ghost took what little gap there was between them and cinched it tight. You felt every little notch in the wood then, backing yourself into it just so that you could force yourself not to get yourself in trouble by intervening.
“Stop fucking around you useless pile of shitting cloth!”
ouch.
“You’re blaming me for the reset?” König scoffed, squaring up his shoulders. “If you would stop lagging through the hallways and would get them cleared properly, then we might be able to get through one of these attempts successfully, Lieutenant.” 
“It was your bright idea to split off with Soap and Gaz and leave us with Horangi. So far it’s been nothing but problems with you and your team rushing and getting hasty and now I’m done. We’re doing it my way again. Slow and methodical. Like it or lump it, king cunt.”
“Problems aren’t from me going too fast, they’re occurring because your team isn't clearing the halls properly, Ghost. I need Soap because Fender is out of the country, I need someone to blow the doors so I can breach plus the extra cover. Your idea failed five times already, why don’t we try to execute mine properly, hm?”
“I’ll fucking show you an execution, König!”
Ghost rammed König and sent him back peddling into the wall you were leaning against with heavy thud. You were sent flying forward as the wood bounced and watched as it rattled with the men’s efforts to take each other down.
It was like watching two stags lock horns, they were grabbing onto each other furiously and neither man seemed to want to let the other go. König swung his fist and Ghost dodged. Ghost tried to knock König unbalanced with a kick, and only succeeded in almost sticking his boot through the cheap chipboard.  
The rest of you watched on helplessly. There was very little anyone of you could do to pull the two titans off of each other -  Not if you didn’t want to get taken out of action in the process. 
“Right! That’s enough boys!” 
Price’s voice echoed through the warehouse, powerful and commanding as it sailed through the air like a brick. It smashed through the two fighters and in a matter of seconds König and Ghost were standing to attention, looking up at Price from his spot on the balcony. The blue light of the warehouse shone starkly against the white in Ghost’s mask, but it failed to stick on the inky black of König’s hood. 
“I appreciate that its been a long day gentlemen, but that doesn’t mean you get the luxury of turning into little school boys that can’t contain their fucking tantrums!” Price bellowed, continuing to reset the temperature. “König, stop pushing so hard when the others are still trying to clear the rooms on the left side. Ghost, work faster and spread your team out. Reset and do it again!”
The Captain’s word was final. Even at the height he stood, illuminated by a few bulbs that flickered like burnt orange like cigarettes, you saw that he was in no mood to be argued with. He’d stood watch for all of the attempts and with every one that failed he grew more and more dissatisfied as your joint teams disintegrated into in-fighting. 
Well, that wasn’t going to be a problem on this attempt. Not unless anyone was in the mood to invoke Price’s wrath. 
All you marched off without another word, dragging your feet as you made your way back to the start point. Ghost was glaring so hard at König it seemed like all of you were staying purposefully clear of his path; attempting to avoid the crossfire. Soap and Gaz grunted a few words of annoyance toward each other on the way, but luckily you all made it in one piece.
A few tense moments proceeded to ebb slowly by. The clatter of doors and scrape of fallen soldiers and obstacles being reset was echoing throughout the building, the heavy breaths of men around you intermingled and all too eerily you began to feel like you were in the belly of a beast. It certainly appeared that way to your eyes, you couldn’t see much through the darkness. You’d have to position your night vision down again. 
In the briefing before training, when you’d had the blueprints and locations revealed to you, you’d been told that your guys would be able to cut the power beforehand. They were sending your two teams in while Price waited with another team on standby. That way if Rousseau tried to make a clever escape, Price would be there to close in on him while you rid his headquarters of his followers.
All of it was easier said than done though apparently.
“If we fuck this up again I’m going home. Fuck the dessertion charges, prison’s better than this,” Gaz muttered.
“If we fuck this up again,” Ghost growled in disbelief. “You mean If your team fuck it up, Garrick.”
“Aw, putting the blame on us, LT?” Soap chuckled. “You’re so sweet. Maybe it's me just looking to spend a little more time with you.”
His laugh still held a little humour in it, even for all the torture you’d all been through. Although he knew for a fact that he had nothing to do with it. It was his big lumbering steam train of a teammate that couldn’t be let off so easily. 
It was true what Price said, he had been moving too quickly. König was frustrated. Somehow, despite not even being able to see him most of the time, and at times just barely through the green haze of your goggles, you could tell he was finally feeling the strain of working with your team. He was getting antsy and forceful, trying to power through so that he could escape the stifling atmosphere that the other men created for him.
You wanted to tell him he’d only make it worse by prolonging the day. Though it wouldn’t have been a good idea to speak to him then - not with Ghost feeling the way he was. 
“If we spend any more time down here you’ll all be wishing for a nice cosy jail cell by the time I’m done,” Ghost spat. 
You flickered your eyes over to König and held your breath. He looked like he desperately wanted to make a comment on the situation, his eyes were narrowing in a familiar way, the kind of look he got when he was about to fight a point. You silently begged him to stand down and cast a wary glance over at Horangi, hoping he’d stop his friend from doing anything dumb.
Though in the end it didn’t matter. Price interjected before König could air his thoughts, entering the scene like a benevolent god shouting from above. 
“Alright. Begin again in 5…4…3…2…and…”
The warehouse descended into complete darkness, all lights were off and it was just you and your two teams, huddled together in the lonely gloom. Ghost silently gestured for you all to get moving and with the rehearsed speed of a broadway play, you filed into two teams and braced as Soap got the first charge ready. 
You drew in a breath and felt your heart thudding in your chest, it made you tighten your grip on your gun as every booming beat cracked out like thunder. You swallowed and scanned your eyes through the green fog, watching bleary eyed as Soap set the first charge. You looked away and hunched your shoulders, already tensing for the first explosion. 
The door broke away and the charge sounded off with a dull boom, soon enough your teams were ‘firing’ on your fake enemy with your fake rounds. The guns clacked and clicked in a foreign kind of way and instead of screaming or disappearing in a spray they took a moment to notice the hits and would drop to the ground like seasoned actors. 
Even despite that all though, the adrenaline felt all too real. The soldiers were growing smarter smarter, even hindered by the darkness,they had begun to forsee your oncoming attacks and fought back twice as hard as before now that they'd seen your strategy a few times. It was taking longer and longer to clear the first room. 
Nevertheless, determined to stay in the exercise and take it through to its bitter end. You kept down behind Ghost and shot out at the hostiles, doing your duty and hoping it would be enough. Luckily for you the men fell after trading a couple rounds of fire.
“Horangi, stay on me. Sneak when I say the word I want you to move up ahead to the first room on the left. Horangi and I will cover you while you clear it and block the entrance on the otherside,” Ghost ordered. 
“Copy that,” you responded, also hearing Horangi sound off similarly. 
König had moved up already, but rather than have Soap and Gaz blow the next door, they were all taking cover and helping your team with the oncoming flood of men. Even as two separate teams you were now united in a common purpose - to improve the strategy and ensure you’d never be put through the exercise again. 
Most of you hated having to do those sessions, rehearsing for the main event. After All It’s not like you can account for everything that can happen when the real mission goes live. Its not like the men would be expecting you like the hapless new recruits, that was only natural as you reset the mission for the ninth time in a row.
With that in mind, you kept your gun in your hands like it was superglued to you and marched on, following through with Ghost’s plan as he directed you forward. You gulped and sprinted toward the room, taking cover behind the door and angling your head so that you could spot the men that were spraying heavy fire just inches from where you stood. You blinked and took a breath, reminding yourself that you had the edge. You had night vision. 
In a flash you whirled around and took out one of the men closest to you, diving behind a desk before anyone else could get to you. Already marking out your next target, you were relieved when you spotted Ghost in your peripheral and shot up.
“Support pillar, LT!” you shouted, marking out your ‘kill’. 
Ghost acknowledged you and directed his gun toward the other two, and soon enough you were standing in an empty room, listening to the fire outside. Though you weren’t done, you hustled over to the entrance on the other side and tipped a desk over the doorway, making entry very difficult. Then seconds later another explosion went off and Ghost signalled for you to follow him, covering the rear of team König. 
“On me, team!”
Horangi and you followed Ghost as closely as possible, heeding his every command as you cleared the rest of the rooms with slow and steady precision. König battered down every door with Soap’s help and with he and Gaz ploughing forward, you were able to keep watch of the rear as more men crawled out of the woodwork in an attempt to surprise you. 
Even with the fake ammo your blood was pumping around your body like white water rapids and your breathing came fast and heavy. The clack of the guns and the sound of feet scrabbling against the crumbly warehouse floors were echoing around your head and before long you were beginning to feel wired, could feel your body shake as you grew ever closer to the end. This was it. An escape from the labyrinth and the endless blurry green of the night vision goggles.
“Ready?” König asked, standing prone at the last door.
Ghost and Horangi took out a couple of stragglers, and once they were down and static silence was ringing all around you, König was given the go ahead.
“One last door and then we’re home free, Gazzy,” Soap grinned, setting the door to blow. 
“Yeah yeah, just blow the door, Soap,” Ghost growled.
The last breach felt strong enough to shake the ground you were standing on. Though you’d concede that by the time the charge went off, you were starting to shiver a little. You were full of anticipation, ready to sit down and get some rest before the actual mission. A good night’s sleep was within your grasp. 
Once that door swung out, you’d realised that you’d never been so relieved to see a potential hostage. 
The new recruit made a mighty effort to mimic Rousseau, he tried to go down fighting and raised his gun at you all. Though with six people on him he didn’t have a chance. All of you shrank back from his shots while he attempted to flee, though when you noticed that the recruits back was turning to run, you took your chance and barrelled toward him. 
With every ounce of strength that was left in your body you tackled the man to the ground, landing softly on his thick padding - something Rousseau definitely wouldn’t have when it came time to dive on him. Even with your body protesting, exacerbated limbs crying out for a break, you wrestled his gun from his hands and pinned them to the ground. Fake Rousseau had nowhere to go after that, he was stuck below your body even as you heaved out heavy breaths and soon was surrounded by the rest of your team.
At long last it was game over. 
“Alright, very good team,” Price’s voice called, “You can take off the night vision and we’ll turn the lights up.”
You were all too eager to follow Price’s command. You whipped the goggles up and looked around in the sheer darkness for a moment until the blue lights faded on and were then chased up by the stark flicker of the overhead lights. 
Everyone was blinking hard, adjusting to the brilliance and grimacing as you all looked around the grotty old warehouse with new eyes. When it was set up with low lighting there was something very intimidating about the training area, though now that you looked at it in the new light you couldn’t help but compare it to waking up the morning after a one night stand. 
The chip boards looked floppy and pathetic and the huge towering walls beyond your little simulated maze were covered in warning signs and caution notices. The mirage had cleared, and finally you could look up at Price properly, settling your strained eyes on his terse expression.
“Much better. That’s the sort of performance I expect from you lot, and that’s what I want when we launch tomorrow. Get yourselves cleaned up and get ready to meet in the hanger for oh-four hundred. You’re all dismissed.”
-☠️- 
“Fucking Training exercises.”
You lumbered behind Ghost and made your way to the bathrooms, getting ready to wash up with the rest of the team, hearing bed calling out to you sweetly before your early start. Soap and Gaz were unsuaully quiet, meanwhile König and Horangi were their usual type of quiet. Ghost wasn’t satisfied with that though, he was muttering to himself and stomping down the hallway like a man about to fly himself off to Rousseau and end the mission himself.
“At least it’s over now,” you sighed. 
“Would’ve been over a long time ago if we hadn’t started improvising with the hired help,” Ghost groused.
“How many times, Ghost. We tried your plan and we failed, we worked mine out and we passed,” König growled. “Doesn’t matter how many times you whine about it, the plan worked and that’s all that matters.”
“Is it? Is that all that matters?”
“Yes. We all wanted out and now we’re out. Job done,” König groaned. “What else is there to bitch about?”
“It’s not bitching when I have legitimate concerns about letting a private contractor shit all over my team’s dynamic and split us up!”
“What dynamic is that? The one where you get them all killed?”
Ghost flew toward König again, except this time none of you were allowing it. You, Gaz and Soap leapt toward your Lieutenant while Horangi acted as a barrier, keeping a steady hand on König’s flaring chest. All of you struggled as Ghost threatened to explode, but in a matter of seconds he calmed enough to see he wasn’t going to be allowed his revenge and broke away, grumbling that he’d leave it. 
König watched the exchange between you all and laughed to himself, the little titter escaping the thick fabric of his hood even as he tried to keep it soft. You glared over at him, not appreciating his antagonising just as you’d managed to get a grip of Ghost, though he rolled his eyes at you and walked off. 
Only when he was around the corner did you finally feel it was fit to let Ghost have it.
“What the fuck was that, LT?”
“What do you mean what the fuck was that?” he growled.
The way Ghost looked at you, the way his eyes glinted like he was settling on a new target, normally would’ve had you crumbling like brittle harling in a storm but you were resolute in your mission. You straightened your shoulders and walked up to him, not letting the disappointment fade from your face. 
In your periphery, you caught your fellow teammates giving you a shared look of fear. Soap and Gaz more than made up for what you lacked in that moment, but you ignored them keeping your mind focused completely on Ghost. 
“Price cleared the op to run just as we practised it there, just as it was successfully run and you want to have a go at König because he happened to make a valid suggestion?”
“I’m not having a go, I’m pissed that we’re taking orders from paid guns that shouldn’t even be here in the first place! This was supposed to be our mission, Price assembled our taskforce back together all to take down Rousseau and what happens? The government get involved with KorTac and suddenly we have to play nice with money grubbing slime balls. It’s all not right, Sneaky, and I won’t sit by and take it!”
“It might not be right, but it's the situation we’re in. You might not like König, and things have been…not ideal with all thats happened, but like it or not he made a good call and Price recognised it for what it was.”
Ghost grunted and was about to fire back another load of verbal ammunition, though Soap interjected before he could say anything else.
“Sneak’s right, Ghost. If they’re telling you to let the König thing go, then let it go. Sneak has the most right out of anyone to be pissed about König calling the shots, and they’re not. Fuck sake, Ghost, even Price hates the man. If Price likes his plan, then its a good plan.”
You raised your brows, surprised at seeing Soap opposing Ghost for once. He walked over to you and stood shoulder to shoulder, holding the giant back as he teetered on the verge of a rampage. The warmth of Soap brought a calm to your bones and now that you knew you had someone else supporting you, you let out a breath you’d barely been aware of holding. 
You so rarely had to butt heads with your Lieutenant, you’d never get used to the feeling. Your bones felt like they were rattling with the energy it required.
“You don’t have to worry about the team dynamic, Ghost,” you continued, hoping to expel the last of his anger. “In fact arguing with König is more of an issue than anything that he or any of KorTac can do. We get through this mission and take down Rousseau, then KorTac will leave and we can get back to our jobs until the 141 is called on again. If we fuck this up then we’ll be dealing with losses and we’ll have to keep working with them. We just need to get through this and its done…ok?”
Ghost sighed and cast his eyes down to the floor. Silence reigned for a few beats, but eventually he looked back up and eyed you and Soap and Gaz who’d moved to your other side. The blue in his darkened irises could’ve been swamp water with the way they’d been tainted with frustration. Though even with all of his anger at the situation, he had visibly sagged as he recognised he was looking at things wrong.
“You’re right,” he grunted, rubbing his head and furling up his mask. “I’ll go apologise and see if I can’t get through the rest of our time together without murdering the bastard. Like you say, Sneak - not long till he fucks off.”
With that he left to go slink down the hall and catch König, still grumbling to himself even as he retreated. You and the rest of 141 laughed as he turned the corner and eyed each other, smiles slowly spreading across your mouths as if you’d just turned up to a mad hatters tea party. A moment of euphoria shared as you thanked your lucky stars that Ghost didn’t go Godzilla on all of you before he carried on with murdering König just as he’d said.
Though a small part of you still worried for your boyfriend. You’d winced a little when Ghost insulted him, but on the other side of the coin, you realised that with the mission coming to a close soon you’d be able to stop the obligatory concerns that came with König being on base. Soon you could carry on with your illicit affair and not worry one bit that Price would be any the wiser. What you can’t see can’t hurt you, right?
“Thought for sure ma neck was gonna get snapped there,” Soap chuckled.
“I know, I was picturing being the next skull he wore,” Gaz laughed, his nervousness expelled in a low rasp. “Fuck, Sneak. Next time you want to go on a crusade, give us a bit of warning.”
“I’d have loved to have given myself warning,” you snorted, still in disbelief you’d stood up to Ghost. “It just came out of me out of nowhere. If anyone was getting scalped there, it was gonna be me.”
“Well…at the very least, thank jesus,” Soap smirked, “Ghost listened rather than wringing yer little brass neck. But you know what, Sneaky? Next time you decide to have a brave moment like that, leave us the fuck out of it!”
“Yeah, let us get out of the blast radius first, and then go at him,” Gaz laughed, slapping your shoulder. 
With that they both walked off to the showers together and you rolled your eyes, following after them so that you weren’t hanging around the hallway by yourself. Your weary boots slapped against the floors and you continued to joke as you rounded the corner, feeling at ease as you got your mind focused on getting ready for the mission and the calm that would ensue after its completion. 
When you got to the changing room though, you frowned when you saw König’s things scattered. Normally he wasn’t one for throwing things around, he was usually quite careful to pile things up. However his shirt was sprawled on the ground and his trousers were hung over the benches like a set of bowlegs straddling a horse. Most unsettling of all was when you’d glanced down and saw the wooden bird you’d given him months before laying on the floor just under his upturned pockets. 
“Huh, big man must’ve been in a hurry to shower,” Soap noted.
“Probably wanted to try and hurry to avoid Ghost,” Gaz snorted. “Not that I can blame him, I’d hide from the LT too if I knew he was after me.”
You laughed along with the guys because it seemed like the thing to do, but the smile on your face dropped instantly afterward. Something wasn’t right. You gulped and looked over the mess of his clothes one last time and bit your lip, barely feeling the harsh scrape of your canine against your soft flesh. 
“You gonna wash up, Sneak?” Gaz asked, elbowing you out of your thoughts.
“Huh?”
“You’re standing there like a spare prick, Sneaky,” Soap laughed. “You gonna shower? Or are you cooking up a little pre-mission prank?”
“Don’t encourage that, Soap,” Gaz laughed. “We need to put all that to rest. Like Ghost said, this is the last time we have to see the guy. Let’s just get past it and pray we don’t ever work with KorTac again.”
“I’m not planning anything,” you said, stopping Soap in his tracks just as he picked up the hem of König’s shirt. “I agree with Gaz, let’s leave it, alright? I’m just gonna see where Ghost got to first then I’ll go shower. His stuff’s not here, so he must’ve gone off and I figure I should make sure he got away from König in one piece.”
“Ghost getting away from König?” Gaz snorted. “Think I’d worry more for the other way around…if I gave a shit about König that is.”
You gave another little weak laugh and walked off without anything else to say. You didn’t have anything else in the chamber. Your mind was too busy reeling and wondering where Ghost got to and why König’s stuff was laid out everywhere and all the ways you could combine those pieces of information into horrible conclusions.
You walked through the doorway to the opposite corridor and mindlessly carried yourself forward while your skin burned too hot and your stomach tightened into tiny knots. 
Did they have an argument? Did Ghost notice something about König’s things that gave you both away? Had he seen the bird and known it was yours? If so, how? You’d never shown anyone else the bird that you could remember, but then you cursed to yourself as you remembered your less than sound mental state and struggled to try and remember if you possibly had told the guys or shown them the bird at any point. 
Why did König have to carry it around with him? Why couldn’t he have left it in his room on base or secreted it away somewhere safe?
Were you being crazy? You reasoned you were being crazy. Maybe he really had just left his things in a hurry. Perhaps he did just want to get through his-
You felt your blood run cold when you heard a low growl tear you from your thoughts and speak your name, your real name.  
“You look lost.”
You glanced up after trailing your eyes along the gloomy grey floor and shivered as you finally noticed Ghost towering above you, casting a mighty shadow. He had his eyes fixed on you like a shark, cold and deadly as he surveyed your trembling form. He was glaring hot pits into your skin and from that moment on you had absolutely no doubt that he was onto you. 
He’d never looked at you like that in his entire time leading you. He looked furious, distressed, agitated, so many emotions were etched those glaring dark eyes of his and you were losing track trying to figure out how to best appeal to him. 
“I was trying to find you,” you murmured, barely speaking above a whisper. 
“Why would you be doing that then, ay?” he gritted out, walking toward you cornering you into a wall.
His boots sounded against the floor like canons. With the way he was acting, you worried he’d shove you and crush you underneath them. Though maybe that would be kinder than the fate he had in store for you…
“You.. you- uh, tossed König’s things didn’t you?” you whimpered.
“I did.”
“Why?” you breathed, feeling your eyes welling with tears before you could even attempt to think of calming yourself. 
“I’ll admit I got angry at the thought of having to go crawling and apologising to him and I lost it. I knocked his things off the bench. It went everywhere and shit went scattering out his pockets, y’know he left his wallet in his trousers, stupid cunt. Shouldn’t even have personal shit on a training exercise, but I suppose that’s what happens when you hire a bunch of undisciplined mercs… you know what I happened to see when I spotted his wallet though? You have any guesses, Sneak?”
You gulped and all of a sudden, it became all too clear to you exactly how Ghost had caught you out. 
“The photos,” you whispered.
“That’s right,” Ghost growled, “I saw the fucking photos of you two poking out of it.”
Next part here
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snake-and-mouse · 5 months
Text
Read an article about the announcement and must rant a tad more because some of the quotes.
I resent the idea Watchertv is happening because as a fanbase we've "matured in taste" past content fit for YouTube, for a number of reasons, but primarily because I never ever went to these men for mature tastes. Or highly produced tv shows. I went for fun, and to relax. Easy, comforting content, that is actually worse when made more expensive and complicated.
Feels like going to an ice cream shop you've eaten at since you were a teenager, and it's been getting rid of its fun flavours or simple favourites for a while, which sucks, but you'll try new things, even if they have a lot more faff than you really care for, just cuz you want to support the business (but maybe don't really go as often now)
And then suddenly one day it's a brewery, and they go "Well, the owners were always passionate about craft beer. And we served a few alcoholic choices and they sold, so obviously this is the next step. And we're all really into the quality of different alcohol we can sell. You're more mature so you want that now, right? Not ice cream? We're really doing this to give you the best product. You're excited we've moved on from ice cream, right?"
NO. I'M NOT EXCITED. I DO NOT WANT THAT. I WANT ICE CREAM. AND IF I DID WANT ALCOHOL, I WOULDN'T BE HERE, WHERE I GO TO BUY ICE CREAM. I'D GO TO SOMEONE WHO I TRUST TO BREW A BEER I LIKE. I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOUR BEER I JUST BOUGHT IT ONCE ALONG WITH MY ICE CREAM TO BE SUPPORTIVE.
And now the brewery also has a cover charge just for being there, and is age restricted, so even the small amount of ice cream they are still going to sell? Most people who want that ice cream can't come in.
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cashmeremars · 1 year
Text
𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 || 𝐦.𝐥
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: mark lee x non-idol!reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you miss Mark, but he’s busy with work and you’re busy with school, so your relationship lives through a computer screen.
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, established relationship, semi-secret relationship, mark sings you to sleep :(
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.3k
𝐚/𝐧: soft boyfriend mark is the only mark that matters. i’ve had this in my drafts since 2018...
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11:48 pm
12 more minutes until you’d get to see him again. 
You sighed as rays of blue light danced on your skin. You hadn’t heard from Mark in 2 weeks. His schedule had gotten so hectic preparing for the Dream comeback and the 127 tour, he hardly had time to think, let alone call you. Mark’s absence was difficult, but it was understandable. He was doing what he loved, even if it meant being sleep-deprived, overworked, and under-appreciated. You hated how the idol life took its toll on him, but he constantly reassured you that he was fine. 
With bags under his eyes, ever-so-slightly slumped shoulders, and a jitter in his fingers, he told you he was fine. So you told him you believed him, even though it split your heart in two to watch him suffer. You never wanted to pry because it might stress him out to really talk about his feelings, so the time you spent together was treated like an escape from reality; An escape from fame for Mark, and an escape from academia for you. 
Mark would tell you about a funny thing that Haechan did in the dorms, or read you a poem he had written while in the car heading to dance practice. Your favourite was when he would bring out his guitar and pluck haphazard melodies as you watched him through the screen. Then Mark would ask you about your day, and you’d tell him about the quaint little cafe you stumbled into after an exam, or the squirrels that you fed at the bus stop on your way to school. 
The few times that Mark would actually tell you about his NCT activities, he’d rave about how amazing tour practice has been, and how he wanted you in the crowd with him. On those days, you’d have to remind Mark that you couldn’t be anywhere near his professional activities because the chances of one of you slipping up and giving nosy fans or intruding journalists a reason to speculate Mark’s romantic life were too high. 
Then you’d fall into a suffocating silence until one of you changed the subject. 
11:58 pm
2 more minutes until you’d get to see him again.
Your heart melted into the floor as you tussled with the wires of your earphones. Should’ve just bought those Airpods, you thought to yourself. You opened up your laptop, hands shaking as you navigated toward the Facetime app. A green dot appeared next to your laptop camera, and you stared into your reflection. You analyzed the background presented on the screen with a sigh. Your room was a mess. Worse than it usually was. You pushed yourself out of your desk chair, practically sprinting around your bedroom trying to make it seem presentable. Mark had seen your bedroom in every manifestation, from organized to sloppy, but it had never been this bad. 
You tossed the dirty clothes laying on your bed into a hamper before adjusting your duvet. Your textbook sat open on your pillow, reminding you that you’d have to finish whatever chapter you were on once you were done indulging in fantasyland with Mark. You threw your bookmark into the bind of the textbook before slamming it closed. Reality could wait until tomorrow morning. The stuffed panda Mark gave you leaned on your headboard, greeting you with its permanent smile. Mark won the stuffed animal for you at a carnival in Chicago when he was on tour. He told you that the moment he saw it, he knew he had to win it for you. 45 minutes and $60 later, the panda was looped under Mark’s arm for the entirety of the tour until he was finally able to bring it back home to you. 
12:00 am
Your ears perked at the unmistakable melody ringing from your laptop. 
[Mark <3 is calling]
Your feet carried you to your computer in what felt like half a second. You plopped down onto your chair, fixing your hair before putting in your earphones and navigating toward the answer button.
“Yeobooooo,” Mark’s voice flooded your ears, allowing a riptide to form in your heart.
“Maaaarrrk,” you reply as the corners of your mouth began to upturn. You felt your cheeks warm up at the sight of Mark. He was dressed in an oversized grey hoodie, with flat hair, and his round glasses. You loved when he wore his glasses. You’d always teased him, calling it harry potter cosplay, but he was undeniably adorable. 
“Oh, God, you don’t even know how much I’ve missed you. I’ve been talking about you so much that Johnny actually banned me from talking about you,” Mark chuckled, “$2 fine every time I mention your name,” Mark explained. You felt your heart flutter knowing that Mark missed you as much as you missed him.
“Tell me about it. My friends groan whenever I bring you up when we’re hanging out on campus. I’ve been insufferable without you,” you sigh.
“Glad to know we’re in the same boat.” Mark’s hearty laugh warms your ears. “How’s school?” he continues. 
“It’s fine. Just the usual; tests, quizzes, labs, annoying professors, blah, blah. How’s idol life?” You ask.
“Same old. Dance practice, recordings, youtube content, variety shows, same as it always is,” Mark’s reply matches yours, embodying the mutual frustration with the repetitive monotony of your lives that you both feel. 
“I get it. It’s nice seeing you for a change, even if I’m technically not actually seeing you. I like hearing your voice.” You fiddle with your earphone wires.
“Yeah, I wish I could reach through the screen and just be there with you. I’ve really missed seeing you in person. Hearing your laugh, the way your nose crinkles, how warm your hugs always are,” Mark trails. You couldn’t help but smile at his words. You missed him more than you’d ever missed anyone. 
“Yeah, it sucks a lot. You know, at one point I started listening to those ASMR phone call things on youtube that your fans make of you. They’re actually quite well done,” You confess, opting to stare at your laptop keys instead of Mark.
“ASMR phone calls? I didn’t even know those existed,” he replied. He sounded more amused than weirded out. Mark was never judgemental, especially when it came to you. 
“Oh, well you do now I guess.” 
“I guess I need to record one of our phone calls so I have something to listen to as well,” Mark joked.
“I’ve sent you like 200 voice recordings in the past, though,” you laugh. Whenever something happened at school and you didn’t feel like typing, you would send Mark voice recordings of you detailing the events that had occurred. Mark always preferred those as he felt as though he were having a real-life conversation with you. 
“Oh yeah. I hadn’t even thought about that. I’ve just been suffering without your voice for no reason.” Mark pushed up his glasses. “Hey, is that the panda I got you?” He says as he leans further into his laptop camera to peek more into your bedroom. 
“Of course. I’ve kept it on my bed since you gave it to me. It still sort of smells like you,” You say as you get up from your chair and walk toward the panda.
“Probably because it was in my suitcase for like 2 months before I could give it to you,” Mark laughs. You give the panda a squeeze before walking back to your chair, placing the panda on your lap.
“I like it. It feels like you’re here even when you’re across the world,” You gaze at the panda once more. Noting how its right ear has started to flop down with time. 
“When do I get to see you?” Mark asks, adjusting the hood of his sweater.
“I’ve got three more weeks until the semester ends,” You say as you glance quickly at the calendar hung above your desk. 
“I’ve got three more weeks until the tour starts,” He sighs.
“So that gives us… 2 days?” You squint.
“2 days,” Mark confirmed.
“Is that enough time?” Your fingers start to tinker with the leg of the stuffed panda.
“If you’re willing to be a night owl, then it should be perfect,” He replied, running his hand through his dark hair. 
You and Mark hardly ever hung out during the day because of the risk of fans or sasaengs spotting you in public. So you’d usually hang out through the middle of the night, hanging out in parks, taking walks through your neighbourhood, or sneaking him into your house so you could watch movies together. It wasn’t ideal, but just being with him was enough. 
“I think it’ll work,” you smile. 
“Oh! Do you wanna hear something I’ve been working on?” Mark perks up, looking around his desk for a moment before locking eyes with something off-screen. 
“Of course.” You straighten your posture in your seat, anticipating whatever Mark has stored for you. Mark reaches over until his body is out of frame. He returns with his acoustic guitar in hand. 
“Okay, it’s a work in progress, and I don’t really have any lyrics for it, but I thought the melody was cool.” Mark begins strumming the guitar, closing his eyes as he allowed the melody to float from his fingers. 
It was beautiful. The melody was soft and sweet, a contrast to most of 127’s songs. He began humming along to the guitar, possibly singing what he imagined the lyrics should sound like. The song was pretty, even through the slightly muffled audio from your earphones. You leaned your head into your hands, watching him get lost in his music. It was amazing to watch him. You could only hope to find something that made you feel half as passionate as Mark was with music. His sleepless nights were worth everything in the world if it meant he got to create music. 
“How was that?” He asks, opening his eyes to gauge your reaction. 
“It was perfect, Mark.”
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow at you. He was always so hypercritical of his own work. 
“Yeah, I really loved it.” you nod, “Do you know what you want the song to be about?” You continued. 
“Yeah. I think I want to make it a love song about a boy who meets a radiant girl that he can’t stop thinking about,” Mark looks at you expectantly, holding back his signature ping-pong giggle. 
“Would it be a stretch to assume that the song is about me?” you raise your eyebrows at him. 
“Not a stretch at all. The song is absolutely about you,” Mark’s smile seems to warm the atmosphere of your room. 
“So, would you release it with the group?” you glance at the mini NCT poster decorating your wall. 
“I think I would want it to be a solo song.” He tilts his head, quirking his eyebrows. 
“A solo?” your voice perks.
“Yeah, I mean if that ever happens again. I feel like it would be refreshing compared to the concept that I currently have going on.” Mark motions with his hands.
“I agree. The duality of man,” you joke. 
“And it’ll be like our secret special song or something. Only we would know that it’s about us,” He continues. 
“Well, us and the rest of your bandmates would know,” you say. 
“Right,” He smooths out the sleeve of his hoodie. 
“I really like watching you perform, Mark.” you lean closer to your camera, watching the way Mark becomes bashful under your gaze. 
“Thank you,” he whispers. His eyes remain locked on his keyboard as he scratched his forehead. He always got awkward when you complimented him. 
“I’m really proud of you, Mark. Even if the company takes you for granted, I see the effort you put into everything, and all I can say is that I think you’re phenomenal. You’re so talented, Mark. Everything that you do leaves me in awe,” You continue. 
Mark pauses for a moment, allowing your words to sink in, “I love you,” he replies. 
“I love you too, Mark.” You smile. 
“Do you wanna hear something else?” Mark asks, reaching for his guitar once again. You nod. You bring your knees to your chest, allowing your head to rest on them as you wait for him to start playing his next piece. You spent the next hour joking around, trying to come up with the most absurd lyrics as Mark strummed his guitar.
3:02 am
Your snores peppered Mark’s ears as he watched you through the computer screen. You’d fallen asleep accidentally about 30 minutes ago, but he didn’t have the heart to end the Facetime call because it meant he wouldn’t be able to see you again for a while. Mark placed his guitar on the floor before reaching for his phone. Your upper body was still in the frame as your head was leaning onto the desk. He could see the soft rise and fall of your shoulders through the pixelated screen. Mark always thought you were adorable when you slept. Your cheeks always puffed up and your mouth would twitch occasionally. Mark opened his camera app, laughing to himself as he zoomed in on your sleeping face. He snapped 3 photos before he started looking through them. Mark laughed again as he clicked on his favourite photo, making it your new contact photo. He sent the same photo as a text message to you, as a fun surprise for when you wake up. He closed his phone, opting to look at you once more. She looks peaceful, he thought to himself. The stress of school-work or exams didn’t matter to you when you were in slumber, and it made Mark’s heart swell. All he wanted was for you to be happy. Mark takes off his glasses, placing them down as he lays his head on his desk, mimicking your position.
“Good night,” he sighs, joining you in sleep.
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sanzaibian · 2 months
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April 7th
Hey journal !
This is going to be hard to write… but I’ve decided to write down my experiences in this little journal I just bought for like, $7 at the local thrift shop, so here I go.
So, I’m Jay Callaghan, a 25 year old student in STAPS, hoping to become a physiotherapist (hope when I read that in 10 years I won’t be embarrassed !), and I’m gay. Like, very gay, nothing in me for girls. But… let’s just say than in sports studies, being gay isn’t well seen. So I keep my hookups on the down low, and avoid talking about that part of myself to anybody else.
And to be honest, it really drives me mad. I’m always double-checking that I’m not too faggy for their eyes, I’m always fidgety when discussions shift towards recent “conquests”, and I feel like I just miss out on so many things. I mean, it has only been, like, a year and a half since I fully accepted that I’m gay ? But still, the impostor syndrome has never faded, and by now, I just want it to stop.
By the way, here’s a photo of what I look like :
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Dare I say I look pretty hot ? Well, this just makes things worse, actually. Because then the guys are always like “Yeah, look at Jay, he must be pounding so much pussy” or something… I just want to scream to them that no ! I’m very much very pounded ! And that’s not to say there aren’t people drooling over me ! There are ! But they all hail from the wrong gender !
However, recently I heard about the brand new Conversion Powder by Eamora Co., some kind of drug made by that unknown pharmaceutical company. What’s special about this powder is that it advertises itself as actually being able to change sexuality, so to make someone straight. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wholly support LGBT rights and want for any kind of conversion to be willful – so, like, not conversion therapy. Plus, both the instructions manual and the few reviews I found said that the powder must be taken once a day for the effect to persist. So it’s not as if it was an effective conversion therapy. But… I feel like things would be so much easier if I was straight. I wouldn’t be in constant fear, I would feel included with the other guys, and I would just be normal for once.
So yeah. I just want to end this by giving out my opinions on men and women :
Men are so fucking hot, well-built muscles, with big juicy pecs and a great six-pack invites licking, the hose downstairs is the work of god, and I just want to rub myself against it, accept it in my mouth and in my ass. Women… are just women. I guess they do have pec-like stuff, but they’re just so stuffy, and big and all. Plus, they just aren’t interesting in terms of attractiveness ? Not to shit on them, but just not my thing.
Yeah, let’s see how well it ages. I’m taking the Conversion Powder right now.
The evening
Okay, so I think from now on I should write on the evenings, because this way I can recap the events of the day while they’re still fresh in my mind. Plus, when class starts again tomorrow, it’s going to be a pain to write in the mornings.
So let’s start with when I took the powder. As the instructions asked, I put it in a glass and mixed it with water, to drink. At first, nothing happened, but then I started getting a headache, and felt quite dizzy for a while. I don’t know how long, because I didn’t record myself, and I know that my sense of time probably got warped, but it did feel long. And then, it just cleared, like magic.
To be honest, it was very underwhelming. I thought that something would happen to signal if it worked or not, but I decided to still test out if it actually worked. So I opened straight porn, and there the magic occurred.
By instinct, I started by watching the guy, but honestly, he just felt boring at first. I tried to see how hot he was, because I could tell he was attractive indeed, but it just felt… wrong to think of him as attractive. Which was unsettling in its own right. But then came the woman, and let me just say that : she was heavenly. She had tanned skin that ran along her beautiful curves, skimpy black leather pants and bra that espoused her big hips and breasts, and long black hair flowing over her back, waving in such a tasteful manner ! My dick was immediately woken up in quite the surreal moment, and I couldn’t help my self.
I beat myself off furiously at her being railed.
And I don’t even feel bad about that. I even printed out one of her photos to remind myself of her… God, my dick is awake once again by once again seeing her !
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After that, I must admit that I spent a lot of time gooning myself on all the stuff I missed out on when I didn’t like women. I even almost forgot to eat lunch !
The afternoon, I decided to go on a walk outside, to see if anything different happened, and honestly… once again, it was quite underwhelming. I really don’t know what I expected, taking this powder for me to be this underwhelmed ! It only advertised that it would turn people straight, and this is what it did ! On a technical sense. Because I may be, in fact, straight at the minute, but I don’t feel straight. I… don’t know how to articulate that, I think I’ll have a better answer to that question when I’ve spent more time on the powder.
So yeah, what I wanted to write is that, when I was walking in the neighborhood, I did have the same experiences as watching the porn : I felt it was weird to conceive of men as a subject of attraction, and I paid more attention to women, but nothing more, really.
Well, nothing much more to say, I guess ! I’ll continue taking it, because it doesn’t seem dangerous, and since I’m closeted it shouldn’t change much.
April 8th
This morning I took again a Conversion Powder, and although I did feel quite dizzy taking it, it was nowhere as much as last time. That does comfort me since if I do decide to stick with this, it won’t be that annoying after a while. I read up on how it works to see if these headaches are normal, but aside from the few internet theoreticians, I haven’t found anything tangible… Nobody really knows anything about it, plus Eamora Co. is basically a completely unknown entity, so I can’t really get to the bottom of this. I guess this here diary may be the current best source for how the Conversion Powder works ?
But the most important thing today was getting back to school. And honestly, there I found that the changes were more substantial. I don’t know if it’s because I have also been on it yesterday, but it felt much easier to get into the skin of the typical straight guy. I didn’t have to worry about seeming too gay, because I technically am not, meaning that the school experience was a lot more peaceful. I also felt more included during the locker room talks. It’s crazy, because when they started to talk about boobs, my dick just hardened ! They mocked me, of course, I felt quite ashamed, but a good kind of ashamed. Like I’m actually having a normal reaction !
God, here I am writing about that kind of stuff… Well, to whoever might read that (me included), I have a duty to present everything of note ! So you’re going to have to bear with the stuff I already know I’ll find cringey in a few months’ time.
So yeah. On that, I’ll go to sleep.
April 9th
Man, I want to cross out the whole section about the powder on the web I wrote yesterday. And also the “I’ll go to sleep”. I’m not talking to anyone !
But yeah, today, the Conversion Powder made the media rounds.
And the rounds it made, in barely a day ! We got LGBT associations speaking out for its immediate discontinuing, far-right think tanks asking for it to be included in all school and high school meals, and politicians scrambling to state their opinion. It kinda feels bad for me to be technically not aligned with the LGBT associations, since I’m taking it, but this was my choice. I’m deciding to become straight, and my current experiences point that it was a good one. I’m feeling more and more connected with my bros (yes ! I can actually call them that, now !), and everyone who I knew before taking the powder say that I’ve recently been in a better mood than usual.
However, I won’t tell others that I’ve been taking it. I was closeted, and I don’t want people to think that I’m self-hating or something… I guess I kinda was, but that’s not the point I was getting at. The point I’m getting at is that I don’t fit the new stereotype of Conversion Powder-takers that is forming, and I don’t want people to think I do.
Also, even if more attention has been shed on Eamora Co. and the powder, there still is no good answer to the questions I wrote down yesterday.
Better news, though : today when taking the Conversion Powder, I almost didn’t feel dizzy at all ! It’s almost as if my body has fully acclimated to the Conversion Powder. If it’s how it works, honestly. However… I feel like I don’t have anything much to say about that ? I know, I know, such an earth-shattering change occurred in me, and two days in I don’t have anything to say about it ? I guess reality do be like that…
April 10th
Yes, I didn’t write much cringey yesterday !
But yeah, nothing much happened today, as do Wednesdays usually do. Though I guess I must mention that on the bus there was a really hot woman, I couldn’t get my eyes out of her. After a while of me basically staring at her though, I noticed that she knew I was looking at her, so I looked elsewhere. I guess, now, I understand the straight male experience, since I indulged in the same kind of creepy behavior… that is something I’ll need to fix.
About Eamora Co., they put out a statement saying that their product is ethical, and does not constitute a danger for the LGBT community. Although I’m technically on their side, let me say I’m calling bullshit on that. Seeing how potent this powder is, it’s easy for bad actors to drug gay and bi people without their consent, and even though they can fight against this kind of drugging, this kind of practice could very well lead into them assuming they were actually straight all along.
Here you go, let me step out of my soapbox.
April 11th
Okay, so, you know, Abby… No, I guess you don’t know, checking back I didn’t talk about her at all in this diary.
So, Abby was (and still is) a good friend in my university. She doesn’t study the same stuff as I do, but we got to know each other in business management class. We hit it off quite well, even though I wouldn’t call her my best friend by any stretch (I had much closer friends back in high school), she went along well with my way of being.
But here comes the catch.
Now that I’m straight, I’ve noticed that she… is actually quite well-endowed. Plus, over the last few days I would even dare say that she’s actually… cute. I mean, look at her and dare not tell me that she’s not cute !
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Okay, I do realize that no one is gonna answer me here… but still ! Diary ! Or anything ! Agree with me !
I think this means that I may be having my first straight crush… on who was basically my only true friend in this university… not the best look. But at least it proves that the powder converts both sexual and romantic attraction ! It’s a good observation to include in this diary.
So yeah… gonna see how it evolves…
April 13th
Oops, I forgot to write, yesterday !
So I just hung out more with the bros, it’s been so fun to just… chit-chat with them ! I feel like we have a real connection, like they get me, like I get them. That’s something I could never have had when I was gay, I was forced to just stay out of the loop with everyone. I’m glad I’ve decided to start going on the conversion powder, because now I can finally get to live a normal life ! … not to insult my former comrades, of course.
But with Abby… I must admit I’m not proud of myself, because I basically avoided her for the past few days… I’m getting so flustered when I’m with her, it’s really embarrassing, but now I fear she thinks I’m abandoning her… I’m also being so obvious ! Like, this morning Abby walked in front of me when I was hanging out with my bros, going to some kind of economy class, and I just blushed to hell ! The bros all clocked that I have a crush on her, and I fear she might too ! God, so embarrassing !
Tomorrow, since it’s Sunday, I don’t have class, so the bros asked me to go to the gym with them, and I’m 95% sure they’re gonna cook me alive for having that damn crush…
Help !
April 15th
I forgot to write yesterday again… I was so tired from the very intensive sesh that we had that I just went straight to dine and sleep, so give me a break, diary.
So, as I predicted… Saturday, the guys cooked me, and cooked me hard. They were like “why don’t you talk to her”, “you’ve seen her look”, “do the first move” and all, it was quite overwhelming while we were working out… But they were basically saying that I shouldn’t hesitate to ask her out, as even if it doesn’t work out there’s other girls to find…
God, this is the kind of advice that I would never have had if I was having a gay crush. Nobody would be there to be excited for me, they would all be uninterested to disgusted, and none could give me advice for how to do… because the only people who could would be the very kind I may want to woo !
So yeah. Out of my soapbox, today I talked to Abby… and I couldn’t do it. I chickened out, I didn’t ask her out… Like, I was just about to ! But then somebody let their coat drop, and Abby, kind soul she is, picked it up for them… and after that, my courage just disappeared, and I just brought up the topic of the Conversion Powder and the whole drama.
Yeah. About the Conversion Powder drama.
So, let’s just say that it got heated, and it became the controversy that everyone was talking about. I don’t know what my country will choose as a way forward, but some have already chosen to outlaw it… and the usual suspects have made it official “prescription” to “cure” gayness. I’m against both options, and although I think none will be taken by our government, they currently haven’t chosen a stance… I’ll keep a close eye on it, because I’d hate for my experiment to be cut short just because of them deciding for me…
April 16th
This time, I didn’t miss a day ! Yay !
So… I asked Abby out.
It was as if the stars aligned. Today she dressed in very hot clothes, and we had class together both before and after lunch. So I took the opportunity to ask her to meet with me at the park. But then, at the afternoon, it started raining… I was afraid that our meet-up would have to be canceled, but just before it was time to end the classes, the sky cleared up ! So we went to the park, and my favorite bench in front of the pond was free ! We sat together, and there, I asked her if she wanted to go out with me.
And she said yes !
God, it feels so good ! My first ever date, and not hookup !
I’m just buzzing with excitement, we’re gonna see each other this Saturday afternoon after class ! I’m already envisioning it : first we get together in a cafe, then we go to the park and visit its zoo at the same time ! It’s going to be perfect !
I’m so ready for it !
April 17th
So, I’ve told the bros the good news… and somehow, the conversation drifted on clothes, and we realized that I don’t really have any “date” clothes – or at least, not straight date clothes. They said that it wouldn’t go, and Terry and Joe took me this afternoon to the shops, as they said that, as “pussyhounds” they know what makes girls go apeshit. There, they encouraged me to buy a nice black dress shirt, dark blue jeans and a fancy belt, so now they’ve been added to my wardrobe. They also told me to prepare some cologne, a golden chain and a fancy watch, because they said that it’s the kind of details women always pay attention to, but I already have some of those, so I’m covered.
I guess I’m ready for my date ?
April 20th
Fuck, I forgot again twice to write in this diary. I guess I should only write in it when there’s something interesting happening, because I only seem to remember writing in it when something involving my newfound straightness happens…
So yeah. The date with Abby was magical. Never have I ever been more glad to have made the choice to become straight. When we met up, she was just fabulous. Dressed impeccably, in a way that, yes, made her boobs pop out wonderfully, but it also made her beautiful eyes twinkle, her luscious lips glow and her fluffy hair shine. And the way she walked, so agile, so dainty… Bro, there’s nothing that can capture how beautiful she is ! And she’s also so smart, and such good company ! We talked for hours, made cute poses in front of the animals, and even stayed together for dinner – although we went out to McDonald’s, not enough money nor organization to go to a fancier place.
Perfect ! Absolutely perfect !
This is the kind of experiences normal men have ! And they’re so much richer than anything these gay hookups ever gave me !
Taking the Conversion Powder was the best decision in my life !
May 4th
May the force be with you ! haha
It’s been two whole weeks since I last wrote in this diary, it was time for me to give you an update, diary.
The last two weeks have been hell, because it’s exam season. So between studying, working out and dates with Abby, I haven’t had time for anything ! Bro, even my dates were study dates ! But otherwise… Everything’s going swimmingly ! I’m pulling along with my bros, and my relationship with Abby is going wonderfully !
Really, I know I’m writing the same thing again and again, but ever since I became straight, everything has become better ! Like, I’m better as a straight guy than I would ever have been as a gay guy, I’m sure of that ! It’s… even becoming kinda weird to think of myself as ever being gay, honestly...
God, it’s so refreshing to be normal !
May 6th (the morning)
A bit of a weird update, this morning before my last exam, because… er… we had sex yesterday.
So here’s how it went. Yesterday, we had another study date, but this time at my place. It was boring, of course, but to get out of the boredom we decided to make some raunchy remarks in-between economics and anatomy. And it made us both quite horny… well, at least it made me quite horny, because my dick was just rock hard, ready to squirt by the end of the session… And then we continued the remarks, without interruption… I got closer to her, started touching her, she started touching me, and then the clothes started coming down…
And you kinda know how it goes, but for me it was special. Because I have a ton of sex experience, but none when it comes to shoving my dick in a hole. I did have quite a good time eating her pussy, wayyyyyy tastier tasty than dick mind you, and she did make me come by giving me a blowjob, but then came time to do the deed. I put my condom on, and then honestly… it was a blast. I came just naturally once I had my dick inside her pussy, I just thrusted, and thrusted and thrusted, a ton of times, as if I was plowing her. She was orgasming, I was orgasming, and when we finally came, we just laid there, cuddling, until we both began sleeping.
I’m writing that as she’s taking her shower, just after my Conversion Powder drink, so I won’t be able to write too much, but really… it was the best sex I ever had. Hands down. Really, it feels like straight sex has been designed to happen, unlike anal, blowjobs and all. God, I’m so glad to have taken the powder !
May 8th
Okay okay okay, BIG NEWS !
This afternoon, Abby and I went to a date in the park, and guess what – I mean, a diary isn’t gonna answer me, but yeah. Abby asked if I wanted to be her boyfriend !
It made me just so happy ! Like, finally for the first time ever I have an actual relationship ! I have a girlfriend !
I’ll announce it to everyone ! Well, I kinda already have, but I thought after that that I should write it down here. I’m becoming the model straight guy, and I couldn’t be more up for that !
May 19th
Everything is going for the best, a month and a half in ! (about)
I think I’m gonna stop writing in this book, because I think there’s nothing I can write in it that’s new ! I’m a normal straight guy with a steady relationship with my beautiful girlfriend, Abby, and I hope – and think – that we’re going endgame. Like she’s so beautiful and she goes along with me so well, you can’t understand !
I’m also bulking thanks to all the workout I get with the bros, here, look at that photo :
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Oh yeah, I did decide to cut down my hair. It was so long, it was bothersome, and I already have Abby, so I don’t need to look attractive to anybody, just to her. Plus, it made me look faggy, even though I’m straight.
So yeah, you can guess I’m a living example of why the Conversion Powder is a good thing for people who want it ! I’m so happy, and I have found the love of my life ! It almost feels like it was meant for me to be straight !
So… goodbye, I guess ? Or to next time something worth writing about happens ?
June 1st
I thought I wouldn’t ever touch this diary again, but today I saw a ton of pictures on the internet saying happy Pride Month, and… it made me feel empty inside.
I remember last year when I went to local Pride, it made me feel so… not alone ? Like I was part of something bigger, of a community of people who suffer the same kind of things as I do. But when I see all those pictures, I just feel like it’s not talking to me. I don’t feel like I’m part of the LGBT community anymore, because I’m just a normal straight guy, and I guess it’s the first time I somewhat feel some regrets ?
Now, I looked at my local Pride, and apparently this year’s prominent topic is the Conversion Powder, trying to ban it, so even if I wanted to go in as an ally, I would be the embodiment of what they’re avoiding…
I dunno, I’m feeling very conflicted. And it’s not the kind of things I can really talk about with Abby, considering to her I was always a normal straight guy. So I guess I’ll write about it here when I feel like venting.
June 3rd
This whole Pride Month thing is really going to my head, I cannot help but think about it… I look away each time I see rainbows, I avoid LGBT news and I feel awkward each time I see someone being visibly LGBT…
But really, I think I’m being so obsessed by it that I’m triggering old memories of when I was gay, I almost caught myself checking out a guy… If I didn’t know I was on the Conversion Powder, I would have said I was living through a gay awakening…
June 5th
OKAY OKAY CODE RED IT’S CONFIRMED I’M SOMEHOW REGAINING MY ATTRACTION TO MEN !
It’s too much to only be Pride Month behind that. I’m actively being turned on by men… even though I’m taking the powder everyday… each time it happens I switch to a mental image of a woman, but it doesn’t seem to really do anything…. I’m straight, that’s for sure, but why is my body suddenly not wanting to respond correctly ?
Fuck, why am I writing this, it has to be a fluke, I’m sure… I must be quite horny, since Abby has been quite busy with her internship.
I’ll call her up, have some good straight sex like I should, and see if this fluke happens again tomorrow (hint : it won’t).
June 6th
It did.
If I could sigh on paper, I would. Trust me.
The sex was a bit forced, I’ll admit, but today when I went for a morning jog, I saw one of the most drop-dead gorgeous guy I had ever seen… He was quite muscular, but not too much, was tall, handsome, had great hair and a light dusting of body hair where it mattered. Plus, his pecs were quite prominent, it felt as if I could squeeze them and sleep on them, they were so juicy… Fuck, reading back I’m describing that guy like I used to describe guys when I was gay, even though I’m straight…
Tomorrow I’ll up the dose of Conversion Powder, I’ll see what will happen.
June 7th
Do NOT take more than one dose of Conversion Powder at once, learn from my experience.
When I took those two drinks, I had the worst headache I’ve ever had… and then I was hyper-horny for a good 6 to 8 hours, wanting to fuck women, fuck women and fuck women… I’m really happy I had nowhere to go today, since I just gooned myself to straight porn for hours on end, even forgot to eat. It was actual madness.
But then, suddenly, my horniness stopped. I was just… spent, sitting inside a mess of cumstains that were hell to wash out, not really understanding what happened to me.
I’m afraid.
June 9th
The situation did not improve, my attraction to men just kept coming back, to the point I can basically now call myself thoroughly bisexual. But I’m not under any illusion : my attraction to women is very likely going to fade at some point.
And it’s going to make me lose Abby.
I’ve also looked around on the web, and found that I’m not actually the only one to be “reverted”, as people seem to refer to it as. Apparently, it’s due to people being used to the drug : since it cannot actually change attraction, it only overwrites attraction. So it acts like a drug, the more you take it the less effective it becomes…
So yeah, I’m becoming gay whether I want it or not…
June 12th
It’s beginning. The end is beginning.
I feel it, how women are starting to interest me less and less. I’d rather be dealing with dicks than with pussies… I had sex with Abby yesterday, and I just wasn’t into it. It just didn’t feel as exciting, as wonderful as it used to be when I first had sex with her…
Even she noticed it, and asked if everything was alright with me. I lied about being tired because of training, but it will only get me so far… I need to tell her at some point, before it’s too late. But I just don’t have the heart to break hers, it would also break my heart to have to leave her… I really wish I could stay straight…
So much for being “normal”, eh ?
June 14th
This afternoon, we met for our usual Wednesday dates. And I gathered the courage to tell her everything.
I told her how I was gay, how I used the Conversion Powder, how I then had a crush on her, and how I’m slowly becoming gay again. I was so afraid telling her that. Because I absolutely was in the wrong, I kept her in the dark about an important part of myself, and I was afraid of her reaction… heh, it’s kind of my first coming-out, in a way.
However, Abby, blessed be her heart, took it in strides, and the only thing she became angry over was the fact that I decided to take the Conversion Powder… Turns out she’s bisexual, and is really against it, and I guess I became another example for her to latch onto to deem it unacceptable… We had a goodbye kiss, and I told her that I still had a few days of liking women, so we should do whatever last thing together as a couple as we can.
I’ll see what she has in store for me.
June 15th
Okay, today was wild.
Abby basically took a whole day off just for me, and invited me to her place. And I was barely inside her bedroom that she just came in with tons of sex toys. I’m not even sure where she found half of those… And so, we just spent the remainder of the day having sex in many a kinky setup… the last of my straight sex would be kinky sex…
It was great, I hadn’t had so much fun in a long while, especially worrying this much about the end of the Conversion Powder… and I feel that from now on I’ll know her body way too much for someone who will soon become her Gay Best Friend.
So yeah, a great way to close the straight chapter of my life. We’ve decided, with Abby, that tomorrow I’ll get off the Conversion Powder, and that will be our official break up.
June 16th
First day without Conversion Powder, and I’ve been in bed fighting the inevitable headache that such an action accompanies.
Abby was kind enough to come look after me, and it honestly felt really weird to look at her and feel basically not much happening in my dick. Only remained aesthetic attraction.
While she was here, I made her read this diary. It was quite a humbling experience, as she was basically reading through my heart. Her reactions ranged from laughter to concern, including a few realizations about our history together. I mean, I didn’t know she remembered the time I almost confessed to her but was interrupted by someone else !
She also told me that it was weird how I didn’t mention being afraid about the bros, and honestly… I find it also weird now that she mentions it. I dunno, when I decided to take the powder, fitting in with the bros was such a priority for me, yet today, I feel like I have such a good relationship that I wouldn’t trust them to care either way. But I did make a coming out message in our group chat, basically explaining the same stuff as I did with Abby. I’ll see how it goes, but currently Terry eagerly responded with a “I support you!!!!!!1!!!”.
June 18th
My headache was very strong, and I stayed in bed again yesterday, but by now I think it has passed. I didn’t expect the aftereffects of the Conversion Powder to be this severe...
I don’t think I’ll have much to say in this diary in the future, especially as I seem to be going back to the normal me. I mean, normal gay me. But since I’ve had a lot of time to think about this whole situation the past few days, I’ll write about my experiences here.
So, first of all, I’m glad to have made this experience of what straight life looks like. However, I also think that it was a mistake.
Basically, I think that when I did it, I took the easy way out. Pointing to an inalienable part of myself as being the cause of all my woes and then trying to remove it, it just shows a laziness from me. Like I can’t try and imagine what an actual solution looks like, I have to change myself before being able to fix stuff. However, I feel that this experience made me learn that I was actually able to do all the things I felt were lacking. Talking to Abby she made me notice that, aside from being straight, nothing really changed after taking the Conversion Powder, so all the things I blamed myself for making me look faggy just… didn’t. It was only me being afraid, and letting it talk rather than the rational mind. So all the good things I had when I was straight, I can just have them if I get out of the mindset that gay is bad.
So… yeah ! Although it still feels a bit weird to say, I’m gay, and I’m proud ! All my woes weren’t due to me being gay, they were due to me being afraid, so now I decide to not be afraid anymore ! I hope that whoever reads this diary (including me) will understand that they don’t need to take out a part of themselves to find happiness. They need to get over their fears, and only this way will the road to happiness will be opened !
Well said, love from the past ! -T
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petermorwood · 1 year
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Microwave Sponge Cake (eventually)
Long ago, @dduane and I had a Whirlpool combi microwave - micro, grill, fan oven - and It Was Great, big enough to use as a proper oven when what needed cooked in a proper oven was small enough that powering up the big proper oven in the cooker was a bit much.
Still with me...?
IIRC it was one of those Christmas presents where Mum, ever-practical, told us; "get yourselves something really useful but not too expensive (I did say practical!) and I'll go halves."
In 2016, after something like 15 years of pretty-well daily use for one thing and another, the old thing expired by stages, micro first, grill second, oven last - it made great bread up until the end - and went to recycling heaven.
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We couldn't find a one-for-one replacement (we needed a free-standing counter-top appliance, everyone was selling built-in), so until once was available (optimism) we bought an ordinary microwave.
NB, this and its successors were only used for ordinary microwave things like reheating, defrosting and dealing with freeze-cook stuff. They got nothing like the amount of use of the old combi, mostly because of being incapable of doing a lot of it. As things turned out, this didn't help much.
About eighteen months later, we had to buy another. If a microwave's enamel interior develops a crack (to this day I don't know how), moisture gets in, rust begins and the enamel pulls off the bare metal. That's when you get "sparking".
This demo is deliberate; believe me, when it's unexpected it's even worse.
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A private welder show or lightning storm at the end of the kitchen counter when all you want is a hot cuppa is distinctly unsettling. Also, it's only going to get worse, and we could imagine - boy, could we - what "Much Worse" might look like.
To the recycle dump!
(NB, micros with stainless steel interiors don't seem to do this, probably because they're already tuned to deal with the bare metal.)
The replacement, another ordinary micro, Just Up And Died after eighteen months and, guess what, the quote for a check-up and replacements-if-required was as much as the price of a new one.
(Inkjet printers seem to operate on this principal too.)
To the recycle dump again!
We got a third new one (which BTW is still running just fine, because it's been downgraded to Extra, read on), totalled up what we'd spent on ordinary microwaves, said a few well-chosen words about planned obsolescence and the "Vimes 'Boots' Theory of Economic Inequality" and got ourselves a pre-pay credit card whose top-ups were dedicated to Get A Combi Again.
We didn't bother with GACA baseball caps.
That would have been silly.
I don't know if these cards exist in the USA; we treat them as the modern version of a piggy-bank...
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...except that to get at the money you need two people acting in accord.
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And in 2021 we got one.
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Okay, this next bit is going to read like an ad.
It isn't, because the appliance is discontinued. (Whirlpool FINALLY do something similar but not identical.) It's just enthusiastic users discovering there's even more to a gadget than expected.
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The New One even bigger than the old one, which had 28 litres capacity; the new one was 33 L (was .99 ft³, is now 1.16 ft³). In non-tech terms, wow, More Room To Cook In.
Reading the figures was no help (to me, anyway) in visualising what a maw the thing had, but opening the door did that and no mistake.
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I said something to DD about "bite radius"...
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...and she instantly responded with "anyway, we delivered the bomb".
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We're a quotesy household. ;->
BTW, The New One does a very good job on seafood, too...
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Since we got this, almost exactly two years ago, we've used it from reheating tea to roasting meat to making chilli / goulash / stew / curry (you can run the oven / grill separately or add simultaneous zaps of microwave for much less cooking time) to baking bread.
One of the best things about it is that when the set cooking time is done, the appliance switches off automatically. No risk of busyness, absent-mindedness or out-in-the-garden-ness ending in clouds of smoke, ruined food and possibly even worse.
As for breadmaking, it has a dough-rise setting which is a Time Machine, reducing a two-hour "doubled in size" rise time to about 35-45 minutes...
It also has the most reliable Defrost Butter setting either of us have ever encountered, turning a rock-solid butter brick from the freezer into something spreadable while never - to date - doing the "never mind a butter-knife, give me a spoon or a paintbrush" thing.
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However...
There's also a "Chef Setting" where there are some simple recipes. Here's the pastry page.
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Basically, you assemble and mix the ingredients, input the correct settings and the machine does all the timing, heating and cooking.
We'd never used this until yesterday, when DD said, "Let's try the sponge cake..."
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Yes, this post was entitled "Microwave Sponge Cake (eventually)..." and here we are...
We did all the measuring correctly and checked it by pouring the mixture into a baking container while on the scale, wondering betimes why the recipe says 900g, the ingredients total 925 and what actually poured into the container reads 906... Weird. Really weird.
Then we put the container into the oven, entered the correct code, and let things do what they were going to do.
A little later we discovered something else about the recipe besides a weight anomaly.
It didn't mention the required size of the container. Or or how much the mixture was likely to rise.
It rose...
Let's say more than we expected...
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The fluted ceramic container used for baking this one makes it look like a Vesuvius cupcake; not quite a pyroclastic flow, but a lot of flow regardless.
Once it cooled we separated the sponge-cake from the escaped sponge in the same way as sculptors work with wood or marble - "Chip away everything that doesn't look like a cake" - and found that despite its misshapen looks, it tasted pretty good.
So today DD made another, this time using a larger container.
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...and this time it stayed put until removed using the cunning base-and-lifting-straps of baking parchment.
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It's not the loftiest or best-risen sponge cake either of us have ever seen (a smaller-diameter higher-sided container would probably deal with that) BUT if there's something needing sponge cake in a hurry - this went from cupboard ingredients to done and cooling in less than 55 minutes - that treatment seems to fit the bill.
We're now wondering what other secrets lurk in the simple recipe pages; falafel, quiche Lorraine, stuffed peppers, even Flammkuchen* from scratch.
(*Though I have my own views about Flammkuchen, mostly involving a plane flight...)
And we'll be paying a lot more attention to what size of dish we put them in. :->
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roseandpeaches · 1 year
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Clingy Baby
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Mingyu x fem!oc (no names were mentioned)
Word count: 321
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none i guess
Author's Note: Gose got to me, him being clingy and his tendency to hug people tells me he loves to cuddle. I'm stuck with husband Mingyu constantly in my mind.
Mingyu had always been a heavy sleeper. His eight alarm clocks served as proof. Ever since he got married to a light sleeper, he was always on time for his schedules. His wife made sure he woke up by the first alarm because it irritated her like crazy when he slept through them all. Another thing changed as well after marriage—Mingyu had gotten used to having his wife next to him, her plush body by his side gave him comfort.
He would always whine when she tried to escape his cuddles, "You're like a furnace, Mingyu. I have enough body heat to keep me warm." What could he do? He was a clingy man who loved physical affection. He loved being close to his wife.
So, when he was deep in sleep, his body could somehow sense his wife wasn't next to him. He slowly regained consciousness, his arm reached for his wife, and indeed, he felt an empty spot that was slowly losing its warmth. Still heavy with sleep, he managed to put on his pants and went to look for her. It didn't take him long to find the balcony door open.
"Can't sleep, love?" his thick voice rasped. She turned and let out a small laugh, seeing Mingyu's hair in disarray.
He tended to move a lot in his sleep, which made her insist they get a bed bigger than a king-size bed before they got married. Mingyu, clingy Mingyu, had whined, "Then you'll be far away from me!"
"Honey, your long legs sometimes hit mine when you're asleep. Your arms would get in my face too." He pouted, the biggest pout she had ever seen because he knew she was right and he didn't want to hurt his wife. So he relented and bought a California king bed.
"Yeah, I felt uncomfortable. I tried changing positions and placed a few pillows here and there, but they just annoyed me even more. I thought I might as well try to catch the sunrise, so here I am," his wife sighed. He knew that lately she hadn't been able to sleep well. The doctor had warned her that it would disrupt her hormones and her blood pressure. Mingyu felt bad because he could fall asleep easily while his wife struggled to do so. She had to take a break from work when it got worse and he decided to reduce his schedule to take care of her.
He rested his head in the crook of her shoulder and gently pressed a kiss there. "I'm sorry, honey. I feel bad seeing you like this."
"You didn't do anything. It's not your fault you can conk out in a second."
"But it kinda is my fault you can't sleep," his large frame enveloped her from behind, bending slightly. He wrapped his arms around her heavy belly. "I made you like this."
Amused, she agreed, "Well yeah, you did do this to me, so stay here with me. The sun's coming up soon."
"Gladly," he smiled.
"I'm surprised you even woke up."
Mingyu shrugged, "My husband senses tingled. I could tell you weren't next to me."
She shook her head, already accepting that the father of her child could never sleep without her, just like she couldn't when he was away for his schedules. She was just as clingy, but she'd never admit to that. Though their bed had enough space for both of them to sleep comfortably on their own sides, they'd always somehow manage to gravitate to the middle of the bed.
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