#and just included a bunch of honorable mentions

[alphajocklover]

I'm 23 and have been obsessed with body-building for years. I'm nowhere near big though. I'd love to be blown up into an absolutely massive freak. I wanna struggle to fit through door ways, I want furniture to bend under me. I want most guys I hit on to think I'm too big.

Please can you blow me up and grow me into the biggest bodybuilder possible.

It’s finally time for another one of my personal transformations. It’s been a little bit since I helped turn that guy into a bodybuilder jock with a supernova charged battery, but last time was so much fun I knew I had to do it again when the chance came up. I guess the only real question is what transformation method is right for you. I could always use the supernova battery again, or one of the other transformation methods I mentioned in my first personal transformation, but if I’m being honest part of the fun last time was sharing all the ways I could transform people. So how about we take a look at some of my newer transformation methods.

Your first choice is a CD. It’s a special video made for me by a local football coach who has recently introduced the Jock Studies program to his school. I reached out in the hope of getting an interview with him, and just got this in return. Not even a proper response. It’s… kind of an obvious trap too. I mean, I ask a bunch of people who are famous for turning people into submissive jocks to give me an interview, and they send me an unmarked CD? I mean, you can’t report on this kind of stuff like I do without someone trying to transform you eventually. I was actually kind of honored that they considered me enough trouble to target me… but not enough to actually watch the video. You can have the CD if you want. I’m absolutely certain you’d turn into a massive jock. Although you’d also be incredibly submissive to the coaches who made this, which might not be your jam. Let’s look at the others before you decide at least.

Your next option is a bit complicated. It’s a time machine, recently stolen from a group named the SAD (society against douchebags) by the Douchebag Revolution. I did a favor for them recently so they gave me this. Said they could trust me to use it responsibly. Well, sort of. The way they said it included a lot more ‘bros’ and ‘fuck yeahs’ but that was basically the gist. Anyways, we could use it to change you by changing your past. A little manipulation of your life and you could end up a bodybuilder. The thing is that time travel is… risky. Ever heard of the butterfly effect? That’s why I try to avoid time travel as much as possible. Too much can go wrong. Let’s move onto something else, since this one is so… unpredictable.

How about this one? It’s water from a familiar little town called Maxford, the one that turns anyone who enters it into a straight, conservative jock or bimbo. Turns out drinking water that’s bottled inside the town has similar effects. Turns you into your Maxford self for 24 hours. You wouldn’t believe what I had to go through to get this. Entering Maxford was an… interesting experience. Um, anyways, it might not be the best choice for you. It’s temporary, and it will turn you straight the entire time you’re a hunk. That can be fun to try, but I get the feeling you want something more permanent. Let’s look at something else

Finally is a specially made necklace, a gold chain with a miniature dumbbell pendant. It’s made by a jewelry store chain that might sound familiar to you if you’ve read some of my earlier stories: EB Jewelry. Normally these are pretty expensive, and you’d have to buy them directly from EB Jewelry, but there was a mistake with manufacturing and they ended up with a surplus of these things. I bought a ton of them and wouldn’t mind parting with one. Put it on and you’ll transform into a total bodybuilder jock. More than that, I can give you more than one. You can share them with your friends, make an entire group of bodybuilder jocks that barely fit through doors. Yeah, that one is definitely the best choice. Go ahead, try it on.

Fuck you look good. You seem quite a bit dimmer now, which is to be expected, but god you look like walking sex. Make sure to share those necklaces with your friends. Using more than one might have… side effects. Plus, the more huge jocks, the better.

[darling-im-wonderstruck]

PETER AND READER ADOPTING A KITTEN

(pls and thank you)

kitten contention.

synopsis : peter surprises you with a new addition to your little family, one that you, of course, welcome with open arms.

pairing : bf!peter parker x reader

wc : 929

warnings : none ! this is super fluffy, has a BUNCH of domestic fluff, and will make you smile hehe

‎‎ masterlist | request | navigation

a/n : hi nonnie !! thank you so so much for this request <3 :) hope you enjoy it, special thanks to @strawberrystarcake for editing this for me and @/toms-gf + @/parkerpeter24 for the name ideas :)) !

“peter, you can’t be serious…” oh, but he was. you follow him to his room, and that was when you saw the cutest little kitten.  "oh my god. she’s adorable.” you practically sprint towards the cardboard box placed in the corner of his room. the kitten was both black and white, green eyes, and was barely any bigger than your hand. she was asleep, so you decided on leaving her alone for the time being.  “i found her in the alley i usually change in. i’ve been bringing her food every night since, and i thought it was about time that i brought her in.” he smiles fondly.

“have you named her yet?” you see the kitten move just a little bit, and you were immediately alarmed. had you talked too loud? 

peter noticed your expression and chuckled softly before saying, “hm, no, not yet. i thought we could think of a name together?” he moves closer to you, and he simply adores you as you watch the kitty in awe. “gosh, i’ll have to think about it." you stop talking as soon as you see the kitten slowly rise, “peter! peter! look, she’s getting up!” you tap peter’s shoulder repeatedly and he chuckles.

 “be careful with her, she can be a little shy.” he warns as you reached into the box to gently pet the little creature. luckily, she warms up to you just fine, and before you realize, she’s rested in your arms, slowly falling asleep yet again.  - “okay, okay, i’ll put her right here, and if she goes to you first, i owe you ten, deal?” peter smirks mischievously. he looked a little too confident.

you were in the living room, and somehow, you two had argued over which one of you was the kitten’s favorite. "easy.” you had an equally competitive expression on your face, and you were determined to walk away with ten bucks. 

“3… 2… 1… go!” he quickly paces to sit at your side, and the game begins. 

“c’mere sardine!” peter couldn’t help but find your baby voice adorable, but he snaps right back into it. (and yes, you two had settled on the name sardine, after countless nights of arguing over the name, you finally found a name you were both happy with, he honestly found it hilarious, honorable mentions did include twix and miso.)  "c’mere girl, i know you want my cuddles!” peter says. the poor kitten is extremely confused as it looks at the both of you.  “oh, but you want mine more, don’t you?” you tease, playfully glaring at peter. but what happens next is what you least expect. 

sardine walks away and heads to her bed in the corner of the room.  you and peter stare at her, then each other. “that… changes nothing. i’m still her favorite.” you scoff. peter was slowly giving up, but he felt the need to put up a fight. 

“i found her first! and i’ve taken care of her for longer.” he crosses his arms, which you couldn’t help but laugh at.

 “we’ll just have to try again.” and just as quickly as it left, that mischievous expression of yours was back.  -  after a long day, you and peter had decided to have a stay-at-home date. you two were cuddled up together on his bed, watching whatever you found interesting on television, exchanging small whispers and little pecks like passing notes in secrecy. the silence was comforting, and so was peter’s warmth, it was almost like you two were soaking in each other’s presence.  but, of course, the little one couldn’t help but interfere.

 sardine slowly crept onto peter’s chest, and as you two noticed, you shared happy glances. sardine was kneading right on top of peter, right before she laid down atop peter’s chest, the sight was too cute to handle. 

and of course, you documented it.

 “babe! say hi to the camera.” peter turns to look at you, revealing his delighted smile. he waves at the camera.  “oh, you’re such a good girl!” he whispers, gently petting her. clearly ignoring the fact that she had broken quite a few things around the house, which peter had ended up taking the blame for when may confronted him about it. 

“yeah, you still owe may two months worth of chores.” you joke, and peter chuckles, “it’s worth it though.”  - “pete… you’re not gonna believe what i ordered online!” you walk into his room, the biggest smile on your face as you held a small sealed package.  "ooh! what is it?” his interest quickly piqued as he patted the space beside him, gesturing for you to sit down.  “look!” you opened the package, revealing a small green sweater, and peter beamed after realizing who it was for.

 “this… is PERFECT!” he excitedly searches the room for sardine, and as soon as he saw her, he picked her up and brought her to you. “okay, let’s try it on.”  you gently put the sweater over her head and let her arms through the holes of the sweater. 

“oh my god, where’s your phone?” peter asks, you handed it to him, and he began his own little photoshoot for the kitten. you threw in some praises for her here and there, and it seemed to be working, she was posing like she knew all the attention was on her.  "peter… i have a couple more outfits.” you say, pulling out a mini suit along with a mini necktie.

that was when you both knew that you’d be here for a while.

taglist : (send me an ask to be added hehe !) @live-laugh-lovejoy @tomsholland2412 @parkerpeter24 @herpeanutzombie @toms-gf

a/n : tysm for reading :) pls reblog to support your writers hehe, requests are open !

[boxofbonesfic]

ransom + “You twitch in your sleep. It’s honestly one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.” from the sleepy prompts list 🥰✨ dark or not ur choice

Title: Sleaze

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Warnings: Just a bunch of implications really, Implied Infidelity, Mentions of drunkenness, Ransom being a creep

A/N: i wrote this in twenty minuted hiding my phone under my desk, please excuse any typos 🥲

Your mouth feels dry and cottony, the taste of wine still bitter on your tongue. You shift without opening your eyes, your borrowed gown bunching uncomfortably beneath your hips as you do.

The night returns to you in alcohol soaked flashes; answering your childhood friend’s last minute summons with forced enthusiasm—after all, Louise only seemed to remember you existed when her flakey friends left her high and dry.

“What are you doing right now?!”

This time it was her engagement party, an extravagant affair planned by Louise’s overbearing mother, and her equally overbearing soon-to-be mother-in-law. You had already been in for the night, settled onto your couch with a glass of wine when your phone had gone off.

Louise had begged you to come—her maid of honor and two bridesmaids had both cancelled last minute, leaving her down one scheduled speech and gracious toast. And you’d gone, despite the ugly bitter feeling at not having made it into the bridal party yourself—and really, you’d understood the decision, considering your relationship had devolved into getting coffee once every few months.

You had thrown together a speech on your way over, practicing the padded list of platitudes in the rearview, about the “best friend” who was really just more of an extended acquaintance. She had a dress for you to wear, of course, striking down your department store cocktail dress with the same thinly veiled mixture of pity and disapproval that had caused the distance in the first place. You shrugged it off the way you’d been doing for over a decade—you couldn’t expect someone born with a silver spoon in her mouth to understand the taste of cardboard.

Your head is pounding, and you lift a hand to it, pressing your fingers to your temples. You’d drunk far too much, unsuccessfully drowning the feelings in a sea of red wine and bubbly to chase away the bitterness. How could you not be? You were staring down your third year at the Times, with no articles of your own and too much debt. Meanwhile, you doubted the majority of Louise’s guests—Louise included—had ever actually needed to work.

And then there was her fiancé… You shudder, lifting yourself from the plush pillows beneath you with a groan. You suppose to Louise’s credit, she had a type and stuck to it fairly religiously—assholes. And Ransom Drysdsle didn’t seem to be any different.

You shudder, your disgust re-surfacing at the thought of him. The crafty, shit eating grin on his too-handsome face as he’d brushed up against you for the fiftieth time, the palm of his hand slipping brazenly against your ass through the dress with an exaggerated “Oops”.

Sleazeball.

You groan again as you stand up, the slinky hem of your evening dress pooling at your feet. The heels and purse you’d worn—also courtesy of Louise’s closet—are in a heap at the foot of the bed. The room itself is as unfamiliar as the rest of the estate and boasts the same sort of heedless opulence that you’d noted in the rest of Louise’s fiancé’s sprawling manor; expensive original art, furniture that you suspected was both older and more expensive than anything in your meager apartment.

Through the tall windows the sky is dark, pinks and oranges are just beginning to eat away at the dark edges.

Why am I still here?

Vaguely you can remember being led up the grand staircase as the world shifted with every step, and a voice like smooth honey—

“You sleep it off in here, Sweetness.”

You debate whether or not to take the shoes and purse, considering your own are in the trunk of your car. Which is, of course, valet parked somewhere on the massive property. After a moment of hesitation, you decide to leave them—how far could the car even be?

You remake the bed to the best of your ability before heading for the the intimidatingly large door. You reach for the brassy handle, but to your surprise, it turns without you touching it. You gasp, stepping out of the way as it swings open. Ransom is on the other side, so close you can hardly believe there was a door between you only seconds before.

“Oh—well look at you. Didn’t think you’d be up so early.” You can feel the weight of his gaze as it travels down the line of your exposed throat and shoulders. “You drank like a fish, Sweetness.”

Louise’s fiancé is draped across the doorway like a sleazily suited curtain, his blond hair swept back from his handsome face. He’s still dressed in his party clothes, his expensive suit jacket slung over one shoulder and sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Embarrassment thins the smile you force yourself to return.

“I—yeah,” you mumble, rubbing the back of your neck. “Sorry about that.”

“What? No, don’t be,” Ransom shakes his head with a little laugh. The cruel curve of his lips makes it seem mocking, even if it isn’t directed at you. “By the time Lou’s friends are through, the staff is usually pulling heads out of toilets halfway through the night.” You grimace at the mention of Louise’s other friends, the ones who’s absent places you’d been called in to fill.

Ransom doesn’t move, remaining planted in the doorway like an annoying weed. For a moment, you stare at one another, until you clear your throat.

“Well, I guess I’d better—”

“How’d you like my room?” He asks suddenly, cutting you off. “Bed’s pretty comfortable, I think.” It’s something about the way he cocks his head, his lopsided smile spreading once again across his face, that makes you feel like he knows something you don’t. “Well, old room.”

“I, um. It was fine.” You say haltingly. “Comfortable. I’d like to—”

“You know, you’re nicer than Lou’s other friends,” Ransom says slowly, sliding one foot over the threshold and then the other. “I like a nice girl.”

“I should leave.” You say it plainly this time, but he continues to ignore it, like you hadn’t spoken at all. The tightness in your chest grows painful as he kicks the door shut behind him. You’re confused as he begins to work at the pearl buttons of his shirt, undoing them slowly as he speaks.

“You twitch in your sleep, you know.” He replies as he lays his jacket over the back of a chair. The diamond cufflinks at his wrists join his blazer as you stare at him in abject horror. “It’s honestly one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.”

[tyrramint]

Happy Lockwood & Co. Big Bang!!! :D I had the absolute pleasure of collaborating with @The_Dreamer_Half_Alive (on Ao3 :) on her fic for the @lockwoodandcobigbang2023 event; set post TEG, it’s truly so lovely and heartwarming, and I had so much fun doing a piece for it! We very much hope you enjoy :)

Link to the fic!!!! (the horror of the night melt away) under the warm glow of survival of the day

(Closeups below the cut :D) (because I ended up making it too wide to be easily seen in full lol) (plus ~artistic commentary~)

(SPOILERS FOR FIC CONTENT)

Okay, so I tried to put a bunch of little easter eggs from the fic and just in general in here, so if you’re interested:

Alright, to start off, I was generally very inspired by them getting a record player; I thought it was very sweet, and I loved the idea of them finally getting to relax and hang out in the library (the lack of chairs, I know; I couldn’t figure out how to put them in without blocking people lol) and locklyle dancing, with the record player on in the background, so that’s what I took as the basis of the scene!!

We had discussed that the characters were kind of a combo of both show and book versions, so I tried to add a smattering and hints of both when doing their designs!

The record is, of course, an Ella Fitzgerald record as mentioned in the fic (the record drawn is her Souvenir Album)

Holly is wearing her engagement ring, and wearing shades of pink and cream because that’s what she wears at her wedding (although shifted in hue to better match the color scheme of the piece lol)

Everyone (minus Flo) of course has their white strands of hair (which is *always* one of my favorite details to draw)

Lucy and George bake in the fic, but I think I had just read the Christmas mini story when I was doing my thumbnail for this, so Kipps ended up being the one bringing in baked goods; however, the baking mitts are orange and monogrammed with George's initials because I couldn't let that slip by, could I?

I wasn't quite sure what to put Flo in, because in the books she never takes off her boots or puffer jacket, but I wanted to throw in some sign that she was living at 35 Portland Row and becoming closer to all of them, (and her close relationship with George,) so I let her keep the boots, but traded the puffer jacket in for one of George's plaid shirts :)

The chess game also made it in because of the Christmas short story, lol

Lucy's blue star jacket!! When I read the fic, I was planning from the start to have her wearing the jacket, so of course it made it in :) I wasn't really sure what style it should be, though, so I ended up with kind of an odd mishmash of designs, but I think it turned out working alright!

The sapphire necklace, because, of course

I adore that Lockwood wears his pink socks throughout the entire show (well, most of the time they're the pink ones ;) so I wanted to include them (and then gave Lucy blue ones to match :)

The chipped blue mugs that Lockwood brings to Lucy for her tea after she wakes up from nightmares are on the bookshelf, and I couldn't find a way to directly include the Earl Grey tea they have, but I made the tea bag tags grey in honor of it

The green glow is the ghost lamp outside because if I can find a way to incorporate cool glows in my art, I will (and also on a more narrative-driven note, symbolizing the past danger they've been through and how some of it is definitely still present, but they have each other to heal with and finally be able to have some simple fun with, and are now curled up in the safety and comfort of 35 Portland Row :)

And finally, a big theme of the fic is them healing and building a happy life together, so I just wanted them to all be happy for once, and hence I put in my best efforts to draw them as such :)

[butchsophiewalten]

03/09/24 Twitter Space Recap

Quick recap of the twitter space from yesterday. Another one with Martin, Kyle, Coral, and eventually Eva. They tried to make this another Q&A but they mostly just talked and joked between themselves. Here's a rough recap of what they talked about:

-Martin talks about how it's always difficult for him to answer questions like, "Can I get a fun fact about [Character]?", because he doesn't just have a bunch of information pre-prepared about every character in his webseries. He specifies that it's not bad to ask those questions, just that he has a hard time answering them.

-Martin tells Kyle to give his idea for what each of the Showstoppers would dress up as for Halloween, and he says, "Boozoo is a lion, Sha is a sunflower, Banny is a horse, and Bon doesn't dress up." Martin says he agrees, but that he thinks Banny could also be a pirate.

-Someone asks for confirmation on whether Chris' last name is 'Easterday' or 'Easteryear', and Martin says that it was always supposed to be Easteryear, but after the fandom caught in calling him Easterday, some of the crew caught on to calling him that, too. But "Easteryear" is what his name is supposed to be.

-Martin mentions that just the other day he was talking about Chris with the rest of the crew, and how they've worked on polishing his character arc into something they all think is much more cool.

-Martin says that they explained some lore stuff to Coral, about something that happens "very, very later," in the series, and how they were extremely upset and heartbroken over it. They mention a drawing they had posted to Twitter a few days before, of them hunting Martin down with a knife, and how that was the context for it.

-Eva talks about how Martin was explaining the series lore to Felix's new VA in the crew discord server, and how it apparently took him an hour and a half of explaining just to get to the point of explaining the car crash.

-Martin says, "Everything that happens after Brian's death, after BunnyFarm is so much! I don't know how I'm going to write all that down!"

-Kyle asks Martin how he comes up with last names for characters, because he knows that Martin never googles to find authentic or realistic American last names, and just makes them up. Kyle says that he knows "Walten" is a portmantaeu of "Walls" and "Martin", but wants to know what some other ones are.

Martin explains how he came up with 'Easteryear', saying "Back in 2020, when I was doing research for The Walten Files, I started looking for, like, show tapes of like, 70s animatronic bands. And I came up with Chuck E. Cheese show tapes, and there was this one that was called "Broadway Yesteryear", and I kept mispronouncing it with 'Easteryear, Easteryear', and I was like, 'That would be a fun last name,' and I kept it in my pocket until it was, like, useful. And then I started coming up with all the names, and shit like that. I think Easteryear and Letterson were like, the more creative ones i did."

Kyle asks him how he came up with 'Letterson', then, and Martin says, "Letterson- Letterson is like 'Letterman', but instead of Letterman, it's just 'Letterson.'

-Martin says that he's always trying to find ways to insert Brian Stells into The Walten Files, even though he's a character with absolutely no depth, and was never intended to do more than teach the audience that Bon is dangerous, but he appreciates Brian's place in the legacy of The Walten Files, with him being the first human character to speak and the first character to die, and he likes to kind of honor that by trying to find small ways to include him.

-Martin says something vaguely about Chris in season 2, which confuses Eva. She asks him if Chris appears in Season 2, because she doesn't think he does, and Martin responds, "Yeah. Yeah, he does."

-Coral is confused about how many seasons The Walten Files is supposed to have, because last they remember, it only had two. Martin explains, "There's three seasons. Season one is like, y'know. Season two is like, shorter, and it's about Sophie and Jenny, and Season three is how everything, like, ends. What happens after."

-Martin reads a question, "What character is the community's perception of most inaccurate?" and then says, "I think we can all agree that it's Jack." Kyle then says that he thinks another good candidate answer is Sophie, saying that he thinks people tend to characterize her as much more "bubbly" than she even remotely is.

-Martin takes the time to specify that there's nothing wrong with misinterpreting these characters, because we've seen so little of them in the series and it's been so long in between episodes that people are bound to come up with their own ideas of what characters are like, but that he wants everyone to keep an open mind when we start to see more of how those characters are actually depicted, because it may not line up with that people are imagining or hoping for, and how that's not necessarily a flaw with the series.

-Martin says, "The Walten Files, when we make the series, we don't create the characters and go, 'oh, he's a villain, he's that,' we create the actions they make, and we let the viewer decide whether or not this character is a good or bad guy. The characters make good and bad decisions."

-Eva says, in reference to "Bon", "You guys have not even scratched the surface. I'm so fucking excited for his character."

-Martin says, "Here's like, a message to the audience. Do you wanna know a word that can, like, fucking destroy the crew, but to you guys, has like no fucking meaning? Y'know what fucking word it is? 'Sayonara.'" The second he says this, everyone else in the space starts groaning in agony, or shouting at him.

-Eva reads a question, "If Sophie was a cat, what kind of cat would she be?" Martin does not answer, and instead posts this drawing to twitter:

-Martin talks about how, for the upcoming episodes, Kyle & Coral recorded their lines (as Charles and Susan) separately, but their dynamic is so good, that it sounds very authentically like they could've been recording in the same room. They say that they'd love to record some audio in a call together at some point, but that it'd be difficult to coordinate around Coral's timezone.

-Eva reads a question, "Would Jenny like My Little Pony, if so, what would her favorite pony be?" Martin answers, "Uh, she would definitely like Applejack, in my opinion."

-Martin reads a question, "Will any of the episodes take place past the Relocate Project?" and answers, "Not in season one, but in season two, I think all the episodes take place after BunnyFarm."

-Martin reads a question, "Will you guys get a new band for The Walten Files after Sweet Tuesday?" and answers, "Uh, No, I don't think so. We don't talk to Sweet Tuesday."

-Martin reads a question, "How would Rosemary's sister react to hearing about Rose going missing?", and answers, "They weren't close, but I think she would be very-" and then Coral interrupts him, going "Rosemary has a sister?" to which Martin responds, "Yeah, it isn't brought up in this season, but yeah, she does have a sister. But they're very- they're not close. They don't have a very good relationship, so. Uh, it's Laura Peony."

-Eva asks, if Susan would be like a cool aunt to the Walten kids, and Martin says, "Yeah, she would be."

-Martin reads a question, "Was "Bon" planned from the start, or did you come up with him later?" and answers, "This is really good! Okay, so, Bon was always a character, but, uh, the idea of "Bon" as a ghost, it was born after episode 3. But this character always existed, just not in this way.

-Martin says, "'We know Jack used to make sandwiches for his employees, who was the one that always got sandwiches, and someone who almost every time didn't get one?' Um, the one who almost every time didn't get one was probably Richie."

-"I like the idea of Richie just being a lazy piece of shit, and he would just like, hide in the bathrooms so he can just smoke and do shit, and Jack would just ominously stand next to him until he notices, for just minutes and minutes."

-Martin says Susan is 6'2, and that Jack is "a few inches" taller than her.

-Eva reads a question asking if Sophie & Jenny would keep their relationship a secret because of the time period. Martin says, "Okay, no, I don't think they would keep it an entire secret, I don't think they'd be like, 'oh, dude, we can't say it,' I feel like they would just be, like- I feel like they would just- they don't feel the need to like, tell it to people. They don't feel the need to be like, 'oh, we're girlfriends,' y'know?"

-Martin and Coral joke that Sophie wouldn't even know what homophobia is, growing up around so many other queer and accepting people. During this conversation, Coral says, "Charles is like, the ultimate lesbian." (I assume they meant 'lesbian ally'? but this is way funnier.)

-Martin has spent much of the space repeating a joke about Jack telling Rosemary to "make [him] a sandwich", stemming from a conversation about how funny it would be if Jack in the series was just this terrible person. He jokes now, approaching the idea a little more seriously, that Jack would say that to Rosemary as a joke, and she would give him an absolutely terrifying death glare.

He says it'd be funny if Jack made the same 'make me a sandwich' joke to Rose, and she went, 'oh okay!! ^_^', to Jack's surprise, and then came back with a sandwich that is just a "gallon of salt" in between two slices of bread, and she forces him to eat it.

-Coral tries to answer a question about whether or not Richie would sell weed, and Martin interrupts them to say that he thinks Richie would try to sell weed to the BSI crew, and they would be like, 'yeah, no thank you.'

-Someone asks if Susan would like the Showbiz Pizza animatronics, and Coral says they think she would like them from a technical standpoint.

-Coral reads a question, "How did Susan find out she was a lesbian?", and says, "I feel like she never 'figured out', it was more of a case that she always felt like that and didn't care what anyone else said," to which Martin agrees.

-Martin reads a question, "Does Sarah Evelyn have a favorite animal?" and says, "How the fuck do you remember Sarah Evelyn? She was just like, an animator on Bon's Burgers, that's it. I don't know." Coral corrects him, saying that she was a writer, but agrees that it's really funny for people to remember that character at all.

-Izzsplash, Jenny's VA, joins the space! She's recovering from Covid.

-Martin reads a question he really likes and seems excited for, "Will we ever see a clip of Jenny angry?", but answers it by quoting the same "Make me a sandwich!" joke he's been quoting for the entire space.

-Martin reads a question for Izzy, "How has your perception of the character of Jenny changed from the first time you voiced her to now?" Izzy answers, "That is a good question! I think, when I first met Jenny, I was like, 'that girl looks silly,' but now that I've talked to everyone and like, really, like- after BunnyFarm, I was like, 'this is not just a silly, that's- that's an actual, like, good friend, person. Like, she's a lot- there's a lot more to Jenny than people thing. I'll put it there. She's not just a silly- she is silly! She can be '/j', but she's also '/srs'.

[recurring-polynya]

My Top 5 Bleach Filler Characters, Appropos of Nothing

5. Inaba Kagerouza, Reigai Arc

Inaba is, simply put, the pinnacle of Soul Society worldbuilding. He's got this long dramatic backstory and a bunch of rage bottled up in his chest, but also a guy needs a paycheck, so he's just been doing the R&D grind for a hundred years. He knows a shit-ton about the Dangai, which is relevant to his evil scheme, but it's also just his day job (also the Dangai owns, I want a PhD in "the Dangai"). No one else in Squad 12 seems to have the least bit of beef with him, even after he builds an evil duplicate of every person in the Gotei. Unlike a lot of mad scientist characters, he's good with his weapon. Maybe he's weirdly jacked under his villainous smock?? Also, his evil scheme was generally well thought out, and took into account the fact that the Gotei is a bunch of buffoons. ngl, I kinda wish his plan had succeeded, if only for the fact that it would probably really piss Aizen off.

4. Ran'Tao, Bount Arc

Everything about Ran'Tao owns, including:

Sexy glasses

Condemned so hard by the Central 46 that they gave her a kidou seal back tattoo

KIDOU. SHOTGUN.

Stabbed Kariya in the gut

Noped out at the end of the arc because Who Needs the Gotei's Shit?

3. Kuchiki Kouga, Zanpakutou Rebellion Arc I think that when you hear the story about how Byakuya was forbidden from marrying Hisana because she was a commoner, you're supposed to feel this great sense of injustice, like wow! Byakuya actually showed character by standing up for his love! And that's great and all, and then you get the Zanpakutou Rebellion Vintage Kuchiki Bullshit Flashbacks and it's like, oh, the last guy they married into the clan mass murdered a bunch of people and then they had to seal him up in a cave and I feel like that's an important piece of context in the entire Kuchiki Family-Being-a-Bitch-About-Who-Byakuya-Marries debacle.

Which isn't to exonerate the Kuchiki, here! It's very clear that Kouga wasn't that bad before he got pushed over the brink by Kuchiki family machinations. I mean, this is very much an Everyone's The Asshole situation.

I love the fact that they never come out and say that Kouga is Byakuya's uncle, but he's very obviously Byakuya's uncle.

I love the fact that he dramatically cut his kenseikan off with his sword and threw them at Ginrei and they made a gree card of it.

I love that he appears to be exactly Renji's height and has one chunk of hair that is the same color as Renji's and he over-accessorizes horrifically, and at best the Squad Six old-timer's had to be like "Byakuya don't do this to us again" when he hired Renji, and at worst there's a chance that Renji the secret baby that was born after Kouga was banished and he was hidden away in the Rukon so he didn't screw up the succession line but he's actually the true Heir to the Kuchiki.

2. Harugasaki Seizo, standalone episode 313 This dude had a homoerotic rivalry with Ikkaku (doomed, of course, because who could compete with Yumichika?), lost his shinigami powers when he took a blow meant for Ikkaku, and then spent the next hundred years putting his entire pussy into doing laundry for Squad 11. This man invented yearning, even if he did choose the worst possible person in the history of ever as the target of his affection.

1. Amagai Shuusuke, New Captain Shuusuke Amagai Arc He looks like Ross Poldark. He can't hold his liquor. No one knows who witnessed his Captain's Exam. Ukitake and Kyouraku tried to talk him into a threesome. He was nice to Kira. His bankai was a tuba that made a foghorn noise when it belched out fire. His dad was the shinigami equivalent of a narc, who got done dirty by the Captain-Commander. He fought the Dangai Cleaner and won. I love him more than anything.

Honorable Mention: Kenryuu and Enryuu, New Captain Shuusuke Amagai Arc Because they are an important reminder that for all the shinigami buffoonery I am forced to witness, day in and day out, some people graduate from Shin'ou, get shikai even, and still can't get hired by the Gotei.

[into-crazy]

celebrating your birthday with Pennywise headcanons

Warnings- none, it's pretty much fun and fluff, ages 18+

Pennywise doesn't really get or understand the concept of celebrating birthdays.

"Why do humans do this, y/n? What makes it so special?"

You'd just have to try your best at explaining the whole concept to him. He tries to grasp an understanding of it, but he finds it quite meaningless.

The only things he believes should be of importance are the basics for survival. Which to him consists of eating, sleeping, and mating. Everything else seems rather pointless to him.

However, he makes the effort of learning much more about it now. Since you've brought up the fact that your birthday was coming up soon. Concepts which seem to have significance to you, he tries his best to acknowledge them.

After all, you're his favorite little earthling and he really wants to make you happy.

He'd curiously ask you, "so what do you want to do for your date of birth, pretty one?"

"Oh, well I don't know. I don't have anything planned." You'd tell him.

He's beyond ecstatic to hear that, because he can arrange something for you. Light bulbs flash around in his mind like the deadlights.

Pennywise will raid the birthday/party section at your local store. Anything that catches his attention, he'll grab. He ends up with a large pile of items which he stashes in a hidden spot back at his lair.

You notice that his attitude has been extra bubbly lately. It's because he is very excited and can't wait to surprise you.

On the morning of your birthday, he will get everything set up before you even wake up. It doesn't take him too long. He's pretty fast and he will also just figure things out on his own.

Once you wake up, you are instantly greeted with Pennywise grinning above you. Those big blue eyes sparkling into yours.

"Happy day of birth y/n!"

"Aw, thanks Penny."

Because he is so impatient, he practically drags you out of bed and into the living room. Guiding you the entire way with his large hands covering your eyes.

He removes his hands once you're there. "SURPRISE!"

Immediately, you're amazed by the sight before you. There are about four 'Happy Birthday' banners hung up on the walls. Lots of red balloons floating around- courtesy of Pennywise. Party hats scattered in various places like little decorations. Streamers zigzagging right under the ceiling. And colorful tablecloth laid out on the table, with a bunch of stuff on top.

While you take it all in, Pennywise quickly dresses you in a birthday sash and a little crown.

On the table, you find a birthday cake with candles that are already lit. Along with plates and napkins for the occasion. There was also a small pile of gifts made up with things you like and random party favors.

"Do you like it?"

"Oh Penny, I love it- all of it! Thank you so much!"

Pennywise is satisfied to hear that you like everything. Gives you a big wet smooch and a huge warm hug.

You struggle with trying to put one of the party hats on his large head. The string of the article nearly snaps on the poor clown. But you manage to get it on since he likes to feel included.

He ushers you to the cake and sings "Happy Birthday" to you. In fact, he's taken the time to learn and practice the lyrics so he could get it right.

Urges you to hurry up when blowing out the candles because he really wants some cake.

"Go on, make your wish! Blow 'em out, blow 'em out, blow 'em out!"

First Penny cuts out a neat slice for you, then proceeds to devour the rest of the cake. There won't be any left, so don't expect seconds.

You receive a variety of birthday cards with his name signed in every single one. Some of them, it was hard to tell whether he actually read them or if he just swiped them up.

Some honorable mentions include: 'Happy birthday to my ride or die. Love you bunches! -Pennywise' // 'Cheers to you for another trip around the sun! -Pennywise' // 'Happy birthday to my favorite person in the world! -Pennywise'

All of the messages in the cards make you laugh and smile. He's ridiculous, but you love him though.

After such a chaotic start, the rest of the day is left entirely up to you. He will happily do whatever you want to do, since it is your day.

Watch a movie while cuddling.. go out and do something fun.. sit and stare at each other for hours.. Literally anything, you name it.

Spending your birthday with Pennywise was absolutely perfect. You couldn't have wished for anything better.

[estelofrivendell]

Hello ! Hope you're doing well

Could you please write a Legolas x Reader where the reader is playing piano (i know piano don't exist in LOTR lol so actually it could be any other instruments, I just prefer piano) during the Rohirrim party and Legolas fell even harder for them and thought it was the right time to confess his feelings (if you can also include that they've been distancing lately)

Hope it is not too much and take your time to write it!!

Legolas x Reader (The Pianist)

A/N: Hope you like this, anon! Legolas is a little tricky to write, trying to get better with him and his characterization.

The Rohirrim were a merry bunch, there was no doubt about that. Despite the heavy losses in Helm’s Deep, the return of Gandalf and Éomer lifted their spirits greatly. 

The celebration began as soon as they returned to Edoras with Merry and Pippin, cheerful and energetic as always. Legolas was unsure if he was dreaming but he swore the two hobbits were not as tall as they are now the last time he saw them.

After Gimli passed out, Legolas checked the great hall to find the remaining ones not yet intoxicated. There was Aragorn, who never took in more than he wanted to, Éowyn, who did not seem to enjoy these kinds of things. And there was you, playing the piano and surrounded by jolly men singing a song about falling in love.

If the theme of the party was to celebrate the recent victory and honor the fallen, then everyone was miserably failing, because they sure are not making any mention of the dead in their song.

As soon as the song came to an end, he approached you, narrowly avoiding the tipsy men about to bump into him and passed by others who lost their balance. You looked up at him and grinned.

“Hello, Legolas,” you greeted cheerfully. “Would you care to join me?”

“I am afraid I am not very skilled at the piano,” said Legolas. “I do, however, take pride in my skill at the harp. You never told me you played the piano.”

“You never asked.”

True enough, Legolas felt he did not know you well. He started off preferring your company over the others, especially Gimli’s, but in a strange twist of fate, he would not hesitate to call Gimli his best friend now. You were what he liked to call thoughtful; always thinking of the future, hoping for the best instead of the worst. He was no cynic even if the odds point to a complete destruction of the world and someone like you and your optimism was a refresher.

Legolas thought this was the right moment to start over. “We speak little to each other lately. Perhaps at dusk you could teach me how to play the piano and get to know each other more.”

“I would love to.”

-

“It’s not that hard, Legolas. You’re tensing up. Everyone has to start somewhere, and if I can do it, then so can you.”

Legolas could read basic piano sheets and memorised all the keys and what notes they represented,  but couldn’t hit the notes as well as he wished. One second, he’ll be playing fine but his fingers would suddenly tense and make it difficult for him to continue, abruptly ending his practice awkwardly.

“It happens to the best of us,” you insisted. “Besides, you’re lucky enough to have all your life to master the piano.”

Legolas chuckled. “That is true.”

And for the first time in what he guessed was weeks, Legolas felt light heartened, like he always was before you two grew distant from each other. He’s not sure how it happened but he was sorry those weeks were wasted with lack of interaction instead of getting closer to you.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Legolas asked.

“Not at the moment, no,” you said. “Why?”

“If you would let me, I would like to take you out for a ride at dawn. Edoras has a lot of lovely things to offer. We could talk about that and more about each other.”

You smiled. “That they do. I’d love to, Legolas. I think you're wonderful to be around.”

[goginaporter]

rina + iconic couples in media

this is my fun way of responding to the alternate universe prompt for @rinaweek <3. rina and their parents in every universe, finding each other and falling in love. alsooo this post was slightly inspired by this absolutely brilliant edit linked here (x) and if you want rinatroyella or rinajacey edits, please lmk and I'll send my favorite ones <3333

troyella

the essays that can and have been written about troyella and rina are extensive (and I'm happy to do a longer form one in a separate post). but from being the new girl x boy who's never moved, girl encouraging boy to audition for the musical and actually commit, kissing in the rain, starring in the school musical together, to making a huge commitment to the other person on a stage in front of a bunch of people, rina is quite literally troyella reincarnated. and yeah, lots of people can argue that troyella is perfect as is, that they didn't need another version. and on one hand, i agree. but the way in which rina takes core parts of troyella's story while standing on their own as a ship is beautiful and truly does justice to the original franchise by anchoring the story around these two, both individually and as a couple, just as was done with troyella in the original trilogy. my favorite troyella parallel moment from s4!

4x01 - ricky sneaking into gina's room just like troy would come into gabriella's room through her balcony

4x02 - the note ricky gives gina in the hallway to meet in their secret staircase is just like the note troy slips in gabriella's locker in hsm to meet on the rooftop. (honorable mention to them auditioning for and getting the roles of troy and gabriella in this ep as well <33)

4x03 - of course, it has to go to their rendition of can i have this dance. their voices sound gorgeous and though the choreo they do has similarities to the original, they've made it their own.

4x04 - this one is kinda reaching but I wanted something for each ep! in hsm2, sharpay forces troy to sing a song with her, one she prepared for the talent show, instead of allowing him to go on a date with gabriella. in a similar vein, though with considerably less scheming from dani's side, dani is selected to replace gina as gabriella because she is so busy with the movie, though this is done behind her back.

4x05 - has to go to the rain kiss obviously. although troy and gabriella only ever kiss under sprinklers, it's the same vibes. there's also a still (not included in the scene) of the rain kiss of ricky holding gina's waist as she throws her arms up that's so reminiscent of troyella in the rain during cihtd.

4x06 - ricky and gina running down the hallway at the beginning of the episode feels like a direct parallel to troy and gabriella running to auditions in hsm. also rina fighting to save the show is super similar to gabriella (and troy once gabriella convinces him) pushing for the theater department to put on a show about them for their spring musical.

4x07 - they're literally playing troyella in this ep so I could say so much. i'll just use this space to talk about how much I love them in a night to remember and how much it looked like they were dancing at their wedding. I will say that terri, gina's mom, telling ricky about gina's movie with a smile on her face, reminds me a lot of gabriella's fans setting troy up to talk shit about her on camera to convince her to focus on the decatholon. also reflects sharpay telling troy about stanford, again with a smile on her face.

4x08 - again, this ep is rife with toryella coding because they're literally playing troyella, but the show goes super meta in having them sing the right here, right now reprise as ricky has just found out that gina is potentially moving across the world to film her movie, just as troy finds out about stanford and struggles with gabriella not being there for the rest of their senior year. on a much less angsty note, ricky singing love you forever to gina has the same vibes as troy choosing gabriella and going to school close to her, not to mention that lines in the song directly reference the song "high school musical" (which you can read more about here <3). gina also deciding to move the movie to salt lake is very much her "I choose basketball but I also choose theater but more than all of that, I choose gabriella" her version is "I choose filming this movie but I also choose theater but more than all of that, I choose ricky" just a beautiful perfect scene all around.

these s4 moments only scratch the surface of the troyellarina tether but i'll stop ranting for now and move on to rina's teen drama parent sets.

jacey

after s1, tim federle did an interview where they asked him about him about the ricky / nini / gina triangle, he directly mentioned dawson's creek in guiding his writing process, stating that at the center of his thought process was "how do I surprise audience members with who they're going to ship?" (x). for those who don't know the jacey lore, to make a long story short, their love triangle centered around joey, pacey, and dawson. joey and dawson were childhood best friends and joey has a crush on dawson. pacey and dawson are best friends and joey and pacey do not get along initially. after events of life, dawson asks pacey to "look after joey" at the beginning of s3, the two get super close and eventually catch feelings for each other and they secretly date as they figure out a way to break it to dawson (sound familiar?). they do break up but come back together at the end of the show and are endgame. the parallels between jacey and rina exist both on and off screen. dawson and joey were the initial endgame for the show, just like rini was the show's s1 endgame. however, electrifying chemistry between katie and joshua (jackson) & sofia & joshua (bassett) in their respective shows changed everything. rina is one of the strongest examples of continuing this legacy of disrupting the initial plans concocted in the writer's room to make way for insane chemistry. some of my fave jaceyrina parallels

rina and jacey having a formative, chemistry presenting moment in a car (rina in 1x05 during homecoming, joey and pacey in 1x during their science project)

the sheer parallels between them in 3x19 of dawson's creek and 3x08 of hsmtmts with their kiss scenes. just watch here (x) and here (x) to see. the "stop me" "wait" parallels actually make me go crazy

joey tutoring pacey in 3x09 and gina (presumably) becoming ricky's tutor after 4x06

i'm rewatching 3x09 in preparation for this and jacey has a scene where dawson catches them talking about pacey helping joey with a ballroom dance scholarship thing in exchange for tutoring and he asks them what no one can find out about and a) pacey sucksssss at improv just like gina it's like that 4x02 scene with rina and ashlyn and b) it also feels like rina with the chocolates, again with ashlyn LMAOOO in 2x04

ALSO in this ep (wow it's a goldmine), when dawson and jen catch joey and pacey ballroom dancing, they're forced to join the class and the instructor psychoanalyzes both couples. for jacey, she mentions that the tension and bickering between them suggests their underlying attraction for one another. this is literally what val (their choreographer!!) does after watching rina perform wdykal in 3x05

too much to explain for the final scene of this episode but i just encourage everyone to watch 3x09 to get the same sense of a major scene in a coat check and an ensuing apology

pacey telling joey he remembers everything in 3x22 and ricky telling gina he's never forgotten a thing she's said in 4x03

pacey telling joey that the simple act of loving her is enough for him and that she's "off the hook" and ricky telling gina that of course she has to go and be a star, as well as singing lyf not knowing that she was staying in slc, so he just wanted to let her know that he loved her for the sake of it, not to convince her of anything

pacey having to tell joey something but lying to protect her (and ricky having something to tell gina but lying to protect her (3x07)

naley

another paragon of teen drama royalty is naley. literally the best people ever and it makes sooo much sense that rina is similar to them because they're actually rina's grandparents. naley birthed troyella, who birthed rina. a beautiful family tree. anyways, naley doesn't seem to, on the surface at least, seem to have a lot of parallels to rina. a shy tutor girl and a cocky basketball player who get married after knowing each other for less than a year? (though I will go down with my headcanon that rina gets married super duper young, will not be taking any arguments). despite this, at their core, naley's love for each other is so reminiscent of rina's love for each other, not to mention some incredibly direct parallels that the two have, listed below:

nathan dropping haley home after a party & ricky dropping gina home after homecoming ("yeah, this is my house" & "so, this is where I live")

connecting over dubious circumstances (nathan requesting haley as a tutor/getting close to her to get back at lucas & gina convincing ricky to stay in the show so she could get gabriella, attending hoco with ej to psych nini out but instead connecting with ricky)

nathan putting haley's hand to his heart after telling her it's racing (it was because of drugs but still, it beats for haley) and ricky putting gina's hand on his heart after telling her that his heart's racing (i'm telling y'all this scene is the same, just with the characters and setting swapped)

alllllll of naley's s2 angst is like the intense and more painful version of rina's angst in s4

naley invented rain kisses (even if they existed before them, no they didn't) and rina obviously does justice with their own rain kiss in 4x05

when nathan proposes to haley (their first proposal), he tells her that "I could love you forever." audience, what's the title of ricky's love song for gina? i rest my case

haley being nathan's tutor and gina being ricky's tutor <3333

nathan sneaking into haley's bedroom to study and makeout and ricky sneaking into gina's bedroom to sing and makeout

nathan and ricky being haley and gina's biggest fans when it comes to their careers, putting their success over their personal feelings (nathan collecting clippings of haley's tour, paying chris to let her record music & ricky decorating gina'ss trailer, encouraging her to go to nz to be a star)

rina served cheerleader x basketball player (though at different times and both were fictional but wtv) just like naley

this was super nonexhaustive as rina also has parallels to jam, mondler, sethmer, romeo & juliet, and so many other ships. however, I'm lazy and didn't want to write all of those out. maybe I'll return to them another time, but for now, pls enjoy this <3333

[slavonicrhapsody]

Hello ! I’ve seen a post mentioning the demigods of the Mausoleum as well as the ones killed by Vyke, and while as the person say that this does have potential for oc writers, I can’t help but wonder who they might be related to. (Like seriously I can’t stop wondering the relation between 9 dead demigods and the demigods we know about as well as the Elden Lords and Marika). So I became so desperate that I finally dare to ask other people their thoughts about it (my family doesn’t even know a little bit of Elden Ring Lore or just forget about it).

Hello! OK this topic has actually stumped me for so long, so I finally got around to looking into the wandering mausoleums and wow is it weird and complicated. 

Lets get the basic facts out of the way… Basically, the wandering mausoleums house the bodies of “the soulless demigods:” 

“The mausoleum prowls. Cradling the soulless demigod. O Marika, Queen Eternal. He is your unwanted child.” (Spirit NPC)

“The sun in eclipse is said to be the symbol of the Wandering Mausoleum where the soulless demigods slumber.” (Eclipse Crest Heater Shield)

The mausoleums’ bells are said to ring "in constant mourning for the soulless demigods.” (Mausoleum Surcoat)

The mausoleums (well, most of them... stay tuned) are defended by Mausoleum Knights, undead warriors who “willingly beheaded themselves so that they may serve their masters in death.” (Mausoleum Knight enemy description) The mausoleum knight Lhutel the Headless earned herself the honor of Erdtree burial for this sacrifice. These knights carry shields bearing the symbol of the Eclipse:

“The eclipsed sun, drained of color, is the protective star of soulless demigods. It aids the mausoleum knights by keeping Destined Death at bay.” (Eclipse Crest Greatshield)

We also know that Castle Sol and Miquella are connected to all of this, because the inhabitants of Castle Sol seem to worship the eclipse… there are two spirit NPCs in the area who say these things:

“Ohh, great sun! Frigid sun of Sol! Surrender yourself to the eclipse! Grant life to the soulless bones!”

“Lord Miquella, forgive me. The sun has not been swallowed. Our prayers were lacking. Your comrade remains soulless... I will never set my eyes upon it now... Your divine Haligtree…”

There is some kind of operation to “give life” back to the soulless demigods of the walking mausoleums centered at Castle Sol. 

So who are these dead guys??? It does seem that they were killed on the Night of the Black Knives… Godwyn the Golden’s murder was said to be “the first recorded Death of a demigod in all history” (via Rogier), so we can assume that these guys were also killed by Destined Death, wielded by the Black Knife assassins. I think they are considered “soulless” because, since they were killed by Destined Death, they died in both body and soul… Ranni set up her ritual splitting the cursemark of death so that she would die only in body and keep her soul, and Godwyn would die only in soul and his body stayed alive, to everyone’s horror… so a killing with no special ritual would just kill both aspects of a person, and prevent them from experiencing the “proper” death of returning to the Erdtree: 

“A proper death means returning to the Erdtree. Have patience. Until the time comes...and the roots call to you.” (Spirit NPC)

So I guess the goal of the eclipse ritual is to retrieve these demigods’ lost souls, including Godwyn’s. 

As for the soulless demigods’ identities, a spirit NPC does explicitly state that a demigod within a mausoleum is Marika’s child. There is indeed plenty of room within the Golden Lineage family tree for there to be a bunch of currently unknown family members, because Godrick is said to be the last of the Golden Lineage and a distant relation of Queen Marika… so that’s potentially a ton of previous generations of demigods that are just not named! These demigods could easily have been killed in order to hurt Marika and the Golden Order in Ranni’s dire plot, with Godwyn being the most devastating loss and the target of her specific ritual. 

I should also mention that there are two unique wandering mausoleums in Liurnia, around the Uhl Palace Ruins, that do not have a bell, are not protected by mausoleum knights, and can only duplicate remembrances of NON-shardbearing bosses. @katyahina pointed this out in this fantastic post, and I wouldn’t have even thought about these mausoleums if I hadn’t read it!! I’m currently unsure if these two soulless demigods had unique identities; however, really interestingly, unlike every other demigod corpse, the corpses in these two bell-less mausoleums are charred black:

(Normal mausoleum)

(Bell-less mausoleum)

So I’m inclined to think that something weird happened TO these two demigods that didn’t happen to anyone else that caused them to behave as less powerful versions, rather than them having unique identities from the other demigods to begin with… but that's just my take. What could have happened to them??? And why are they confined to this one “Mausoleum Compound” area, that’s among the Uhl Palace Ruins, where there are also Ancestor followers??? Literally I thought about this so hard I gave myself a headache. Anyway give katyahina's post a read for some fun ideas about their identities. Whoever they are, I think whatever happened to them means that they’re beyond saving; even the eclipse ritual can’t help them.

Also I could not ever begin to guess what’s going on with the demigods supposedly killed by Vyke in order for him to have gotten great runes and it honestly makes absolutely no sense to me. sorry but if I try to think about this anymore I fear my head will explode

[fiovske]

Do you have any recs for other non-DnD game systems? I've only ever played 5e, and I'm a little intimidated to get into other systems, but I also want to branch out and get away from WOTC's bullshit.

Sure thing! I am also including a link to the itch.io pages since that's where i get most of these games!

Blades In The Dark: i'm mentioning this first bc the rules are very easy to grasp and if you're looking for a setting that has a touch of ghosts and steampunk, this game is the perfect gateway to that! it's the best for a heist i have found and the game mechanics and names are so soo sick here's just a slice from their itch.io page:

personally i find the setting and the stress mechanic very cool, because it takes into account the mental toil that an action can have and i find games with inbuilt consequence mechanics very compelling! it introduced the concept of clocks to me and i am obsessed.

a) adjacent to Blades, are all Forged In The Dark Games which are third-party blades games, and the most notable of them is Scum and Villiany which is space-western setting and also my favorite and if you're looking to play a game in the breadth of star-wars like interplanetary politics and everything, i highly recommend this game! b) if you're looking for a Blades game with mechanics to suit something more royalty-adjacent, with court-politics and agendas and masquerade parties and all, like say d20's court of fey and flowers vibe then i recommend Court Of Blades! I havent gotten around to playing this yet but it looks really promising and i soo badly want to play a game in this setting!

2. The Ground Itself : this is a world-building game. focused on one single place over time and how it changes and how it's people change, the events of this game can be spaced out from a week to several millennia depending on the rolls of ur dice or your choices! i have found that this game serves very well as say, a session zero game also, for setting up a place before you play in it, and not only a very fun session of making a place together for your party to play in, but also not leaving all the work to the gm! so it's a win win situation!

tbh, all games by everest pipkin are very good! i wanna get my hands on world ending game as well bc it is a game about giving your campaign, your world-building and your characters the perfect send-off.

3. Wanderhome : if you're looking for something ghibli-esque (this is the closest i can come to defining this game thru popular media) then i highly recommend wanderhome! it's got a very cozy pastoral vibe to it and the art is really beautiful and you get to pick from a range of animal-folk to play as it's very cool!

also honorable mentions,

a) Sleepaway is a game by the same creator in which ur a camp counsellor to a bunch of misfits and horror stories around campfires ensue! b) Yazeba's Bed & Breakfast which is an upcoming game which you can still back and it looks really interesting so i'd recommend checking it out as well!

4. Lancer: this game has mechs it has space-battles and you get to be a pilot in a future set years in the future and a thousand directions to take ur campaign in! he relationship between pilot and mech is smth that can be so personal.....

i wanna play lancer sometime it has very cool mech designs and it has very much piqued my interest, if i find ppl who wanna play lancer w me im 🏃🏃!

5. Heart The City Beneath : honestly, one of my fave settings of all time, it has strong horror components so mind the cws! but the classes and the game mechanics are very intuitive and overall it helps you not only build a character that feels natural and organic, but since this is a horror setting, things do not have happy endings... however it will ensure that your characters have a well-built journey whose ends will be terrifying and magnificent.

I got introduced to the fallout mechanic through this game and oooo how i love it, it's the perfect blend of your actions have consequences + every consequence is interesting and will affect your character deeply and emotionally, which is <33

this list got too long so i will just mention some more here:

the quiet year (very good map-making game, for before the frost shepherds arrive in winter.)

beam saber (forged in the dark game that deserves its on mention! austin ramsey's games i highly recommend!)

thirsty sword lesbians (ecactly what it says on the tin, i wanna check this game out also)

lotr's one ring rpg (this one is the closest substitute to classic d&d bc lets be real. tolkien is where d&d got it's shit from. and i have heard good things abt this game even tho i've never had the chance to play it)

mothership rpg (space horror whose build mechanics are very easy and user-friendly and i've had a LOT of fun with this!)

orbital (one very beautifully written rpg about life in space and it's only 32 pages but well-worth the time, highly recommend)

that's all i can give off the top of my head, i might've missed a few but these are strong standouts, so i hope u find at least one to your liking!

[lynxgriffin]

The cult went through all that offer to make the sacrifice appear willing. But the fact that it wasn't actually willing appears to be what will be their downfall. If they were willing/able to sacrifice one of their own number (or in the unlikely, still highly dubious scenario they can get a kid to AGREE to be sacrificed and deliver their message), said person could explain the situation to Ralsei, and eventually direct the eldritch beasts upon the 'proper' recipients of their wrath. But because none of the sacrifices had agreed to this, or even properly understood why they were being sacrificed, we now have a bunch of pointless murders including infanticide/familicide, Kris wanting revenge on more or less everyone besides Asriel...not to mention, whatever reason Noelle wants to meet Mayor Holiday for...

But the critical blunder they seemed to make, is that Ralsei is able to appear in the Light World instantaneously. Honestly the ritual seems less like a 'sacrifice' and more like 'sending an ambassador/guest' when you look at it like this, which (morality of it all aside) may have been their most erroneous assumption.

Even the parts of the ritual Toriel mentions feel too...soft for a ritual(which does contribute to it feeling even Worse.) She calls Kris a 'gift', and mentions things you'd give 'a neighbor' and making sure Ralsei doesn't feel trapped--meaning he's instead meant to feel welcome, not a dangerous demon to be tricked or bound, more like an equal or honored guest. (Which let's be honest is very Ralsei.)

Yeah, despite all their planning and attempts, the cult never quite got a handle on what was actually being asked of them for the ritual. If the instructions they were able to piece together were simplified to "give me a willing human soul, and I'll come to you to fulfil your requests," they interpreted that as "sacrifice a human to me and I'll immediately show up where you are." Whereas what Ralsei's ritual would have actually been saying is "send me a willing human so that I can leave my realm and come to you." A few layers of language barriers and assumptions about how summoning a demon worked probably contributed to their misconceptions! (Ironically, this is where Asriel could have actually helped them out more, at least with the language barrier part.)

Basically, a whole lot of heartache and betrayal and teen murder could have been avoided if they'd just thought to get a linguist or a historian or both in on the cult. But, they were always very careful to keep the membership small for safety reasons.

[sorenblr]

Prepare those calzones rojos and don't choke til you swallow that twelfth grape.

Any "best of '23" lists you wanna expose to this here tumblr audience?

I've waited until the very end to answer this, since my yearly vacation lines up with the last week of December, allowing maximum time to devote to "gaming like a monster". I still didn't play shit for new games this year, but I am confident that every title on this list makes Baldur's Gate 3 and Tears of the Kingdom look like a bunch of muddy, wet shit:

Heart of the Killer

The 8th and penultimate episode in thecatamites' Anthology of the Killer series, which in aggregate is the most compelling project to come out of the medium in recent memory. Follow zinester and aspiring murder victim BB as she navigates a strange world of maniac killers and maniac killer paraphernalia. Combines the warm trappings of pulp horror and associated genre schlock with the profound literary sense and humor of the author. Boasts the rare perfect art design.

This one features 'liminal spaces' and is about the regulation and dictation of desire. Oh shit!

Varney Lake

Another 'pixel-pulp' title by the Argentine LCB Studio, this time a King or Bradbury-esque portrait of mournful childhood nostalgia set in the summer of 1954. Three friends find a dracula in the woods and he turns out to be basically just a stand-up kind of guy. Sincere, intelligent writing and gorgeous CGA-inspired art that transcends mere imitation of that style.

Pseudo-sequel to the fantastic Mothmen 1966 and best enjoyed in sequence with that game.

Stomp Plonk

It's just good old-fashioned fun to stomp and plonk around in Marek Kapolka's wordless fantasy world. The character designs and animation here bring me a lot of joy. Sometimes a game just needs to be a collection of little cretins.

Pseudoregalia

Sharply designed 3D metroidvania based on an earlier game jam project. Strangely melancholic tone and a nice, expressive moveset. One of the more engaging translations of the genre to 3D.

You can tell the developer didn't expect so many eyes on this because the protagonist has her big goat ass hanging all the way out and they had to include a toggle for pants in the options menu.

Honorable Mentions:

Shards of God: point-and-click agatha christie murder mystery set on a dune-esque desert planet. good

Orbo's Odyssey: kinetic 3d platformer. movement funny... but good?? slay 4 golden draculas

Kowloon's Curse: Lost Report: any game with an explorable desktop w/ fake sites and shit is good

Tommy Gun Witches: if you haven't seen the main promo screen for this game, there's still time for you to correct that

DOCTRINESPACE: cool twine game about a future where crypto bullshit is king, and the doctrines are hotter than ever

Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days: mostly about killing chinese police officers and any civilians foolish enough to enter your line of sight. kane and lynch are craaaaazy!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

2023 games that I would like to have played but couldn't squeeze in: Blasphemous 2, Crypt Underworld, Bahnsen Knights, Knuckle Sandwich, 24 Killers etc.

[temnurus]

Wangxian Top Ten Fic Recs

So. I got into MDZS/The Untamed back in February, & I've sort of fallen into a Wangxian black hole from which I am not sure I will ever emerge. Thusly, I've been reading a ton of Wangxian fanfiction lately & have acquired quite a few favorites. Naturally I had to eventually compile a rec list lest I combust with all the barely suppressed love I have for this ship.

Now you lucky people get to reap the benefits of all my hard work because not only have I ranked my top ten, I am also including a bunch of honorable mentions because I'm ridiculous & have no self restraint because I'm such a kind & generous person. Note that the honorable mentions are not ranked & are listed in no particular order.

Fair warning, all of these recs are rated Explicit because I enjoy either a sprinkling or a flood of adult content with my fics. It's far from the focus of many of them, but it's there to varying degrees in each. Also, some of these fics cover some heavy content that may be triggering for some folks, so please do mind the tags & any authors' notes for your own peace of mind.

And with no further adieu, onto the recs!

1. Scars Where They Used to Be by CwythanWind (E, 58,467)

Thoughts: I lost count of how many times I cried in this fic. It was gorgeous in every sense of the word. The characterizations were phenomenal. Wei Ying’s pain was palpable, & the pining was agonizing. Lan Zhan conveying his love through poetry made me sob like a baby twice. The prose was just that beautiful. I can’t recommend this enough. As soon as I finished it I knew it was going to become my favorite Wangxian fic, & nothing has managed to top it yet.

2. Beneath Your Skin by Wrenwolf (E, 147,201)

Thoughts: I was sold on tattoo artist Wei Ying from the word go, haha, but Lan Zhan as an antiques dealer was also surprisingly on point. I go on about characterization a lot in these recs, but I have to tell you that Lan Zhan's here is one of my absolute favorites. I felt like I'd crawled into his skin & was just living there right along with him. And don't get me started on Wei Ying in this fic. I just.. fuck, I cried so much, y'all, & it was incredibly cathartic. Nie Huaisang was my favorite side character in this, & they were an absolute BAMF! You can't go wrong with this one. It's just stunning.

3. Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 72,966)

Thoughts: This fic was full of sentiment: regrets, longing, & so, so nostalgic. The love of art was apparent & beautifully on display here, & it added a richness to the whole thing. I cried several times during this from the empathy I had for both Lan Zhan's & Wei Ying's experiences (can you sense a theme with my favorites making me overly emotional? lol). The tone got heavy in places, but it didn't feel graphic or overwhelming at any point for me. The writing was just fantastic, & I've enjoyed a few more of the author's fics since I read this one.

4. i'm gonna drown when you wake up by teenjiism (E, 51,752)

Thoughts: I related to this fic on several levels because both characters are portrayed as neurodivergent in ways that felt very authentic, & I rarely see it done as well as it was here. I have ADHD, & Wei Ying's headspace felt extremely familiar, ha. Lan Zhan & Wei Ying's friendship was so lovely here, too. I adored their easy intimacy & how they were each other's favorite person before Wei Ying even realized he was in love with Lan Zhan. Oh yes, this is another fantastic oblivious Wei Ying/One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fic. The pining was perfect, & the overall sweetness of their relationship made this a very floaty/happy reading experience for me, personally.

5. Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl (E, 60,318)

Thoughts: Continuing with the theme of One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again, this was a hilarious & heady fake dating scenario fic. His cluelessness reached new heights in this one, & I about died when he came up with the idea that naturally he & Lan Zhan should practice things like kissing for authenticity's sake. (Oh Wei Ying, you sweet summer child... he kills me; can you tell?) I loved how matter-of-fact Lan Zhan was about the whole thing, too. I laughed a lot during this fic. I even blushed a couple of times, too! Highly enjoyable & a must-read for me.

6. you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132,713)

Thoughts: None of the parents in this fic are doing a good job, but hey, they didn't in canon either, in my not-so-humble opinion. It's not what I focused on in the fic, but the tags certainly amused me. I haven't come across many texting fics in MDZS, so this was a pleasant & welcome surprise. The whole fic wasn't done through texting, but their text exchanges were SO CUTE. Lan Zhan texted exactly how I thought he would in this, & it made me laugh every time. The pining was lovely, & when they finally got to see each other in person again in New York I was glued to my computer until I finished the fic. I adored the tone of this one. It was great & just a really fun read.

7. and so my heart beats wildly by lily_winterwood (E, 106,435)

Thoughts: This was one of the most original modern AUs I've seen & featured competitive cultivation that had a Hunger Games meets professional figure-skating competition vibe. It was wild, but it made sense when I read it, I promise. The author was very good at fleshing out their world, & I was fascinated by the concept. Wei Ying once again failed to notice Lan Zhan was in love with him, & his confusion over their interactions never failed to entertain me. I never get tired of their dynamic, y'all, & it was just perfect here. I highly recommend this one.

8. Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128,916)

Thoughts: Ever seen So You Think You Can Dance or Strictly Come Dancing? This was basically that but Wangxian! Wei Ying was stunning as a professional dancer being handed a socially awkward, concert violinist Lan Zhan & having to teach him to dance in front of the nation for 12 weeks, & I absolutely loved Lhan Zhan in this. He was precious. The sexual tension during some of the dances was electrifying, & watching them fall in love over the course of the filming of the show was a delight to read.

9. Two Dollar Coffee by marizousbooty (E, 145,286)

Thoughts: I almost fell out of my chair laughing because how do you acquire an accidental sugar daddy?! Well, if you read this fic, you'll find out. One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again! Yeah, it's one of my favorite AO3 tags, so sue me, lol. The sex was obviously one of the highlights, which I am known to enjoy in a fic (don't judge me, Puritans), but it certainly wasn't the only thing that was well written here. I loved everything about this from beginning to end.

10. things that make it warm by yabakuboi (E, 33,327)

Thoughts: This fic hurt my feelings, not gonna lie. I cried ugly tears at the break up, but I've always had a hard time with reconciliation fics. It was very worth it, however. The way the fic covered their relationship growing & changing over time was very compelling, & a highlight of this for me was Wei Ying's relationship with the Wens, particularly A'Yuan. It was very sweet amongst an ocean of angst, haha. I read this in the span of a couple hours. Just couldn't be torn away. If you're a sucker for angst with a happy ending, then you might want to check this one out.

Honorable Mentions

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70,972)

Thoughts: This was so heartwarming I couldn't stop smiling over how adorable it was. Kid fics aren't typically a favorite of mine, but I do enjoy a really good one every now & then. This was one of the best I've read, to be honest. A'Yuan was the sweetest little angel, & he was so cute with Wei Ying spazzing out about every aspect of his care. Lan Zhan being the quiet, responsible source of reason & support was expected but of course always a welcome addition to the mix. Accidental Baby Acquisition isn't a tag I'd seen before, but it's a new favorite when it comes to Wangxian getting to be surprise parents together, haha.

undone (the spreadsheet song) series by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 282,452)

Thoughts: This is a two part series that tells the same story from each love interest’s point of view, a la Rivals by Reiya in the YoI fandom, which is one of my favorites of all time. Similarly, this story is also phenomenally written. I was sucked in immediately & read both fics over the span of like 3 days. I actually read Lan Zhan’s POV fic (the second in the series) in a single day. I was spellbound by the whole thing, couldn’t get enough. I highly recommend this. The characterizations are incredible, & the emotions are so intense I couldn’t help but feel everything right along with each of them as the story progressed.

My only word of caution is that if you have a hard time reading about Wangxian being intimate with people other than each other you might want to skim/skip those sections of the second fic like I had to. The author makes it fairly easy by giving a heads up in the author’s notes at the beginning of each chapter in which that occurs, which I very much appreciated.

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25,470)

Thoughts: This fic started with a very serendipitous first meeting between businessman Lan Zhan & Wei Ying, who he mistook for the (non-sexual) escort he'd hired for the evening. I nearly died of mortification right along with poor Lan Zhan when he figured out his mistake. Him confessing this to Wei Ying was painfully awkward & hurt my heart, but fear not! We all know I can't handle a fic without an eventual happy ending, haha. Watching their instant connection develop into something more was such a treat. I loved this fic quite a lot for it being a quicker read for me.

Multiphonics by androkastia (E, 63,705)

Thoughts: Wei Ying was such a lovable disaster in this (as he often is, bless him). Him & Lan Zhan both being in the orchestra was a fun idea, & I loved the author's choice of the harp for Lan Zhan's instrument. I thought it was very different from the usual violin or cello choice I've seen previously but still suited him perfectly. I also loved his overall characterization, down to his fashion sense being tastefully eclectic when his style is usually portrayed as very stuffy & conservative. I really enjoyed this college/university AU, & I've read quite a few of them at this point. So obviously this one stood out.

No Compasses, No Signs by brooklinegirl (E, 36,041)

Thoughts: Ah, finally! A soulmate fic. A Temnurus rec list really wouldn't be complete without at least one. This was a modern AU, which made it especially fun when their soul bond inexplicably manifested as they literally collided with each other on the sidewalk. It was painful watching them fumble for answers to why they suddenly knew things about each other they had no way of knowing only moments before, but the sweet conclusion made it more than worth the temporary angst.

A Haunting Love by Selenay (E, 64,621)

Thoughts: This was another very unique modern with magic AU, & I was nervous because Wei Ying was a ghost haunting Lan Zhan's new house in the quiet little town he moved to in order to write his next novel. Naturally Lan Zhan became ensnared by the mystery surrounding Wei Ying's departure. This had a very romantic feel to it, intensely poetic in a way that I found very alluring. There were even thriller-esque moments towards the end of the story, so it had a bit of everything, all of it equally satisfying to read.

love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360,042)

Thoughts: This was an example of a cool MDZS-specific trope I hadn't seen before, & in it Wei Ying, the infamous Yiling Patriarch, was a cultivator who had achieved immortality (aka, he's OP as fuck but in a fun way). The great sects enlisted his help to win the Sunshot Campaign, & what did he demand in return? Lan Zhan's hand in marriage, of course! It was a fantastic slow burn in which poor Lan Zhan suffered the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband. An amazing & complex plot, chock-full of angsty goodness.

a place to hide (can't find one near) by yiqie (E, 76,091)

Thoughts: I'm giving y'all a heads up first thing that this fic pulled no punches when it came to the heavier subject matter covered in the tags & author's note. Some of the descriptions were fairly graphic, so please take care of yourselves when considering this one. That said, it was a powerful portrayal of someone suffering from mental health issues & the long & often complicated journey of healing. This one also happened to contain a love story so beautiful that I was brought to tears several times by Lan Zhan's patient & loving care for his most important person, nevermind all the times I cried at the sad parts! I found the emotional cost of those very much worth the payoff of their happy ending, which is why I just had to include this one.

Just You, Just Me (Just Us, Just We) by wincechesters (E, 19,777)

Thoughts: Lan Zhan thought his brother made him an appointment at an acupuncturist & was aghast when he discovered it was for a session with a professional cuddler instead! Enter Wei Ying, gratuitous cuddle therapy, & his usual chaotic charm. Poor Lan Zhan being so overwhelmed while also becoming hopelessly besotted made me laugh, bless his fragile little heart. This was an adorable & light-hearted fic that made me want to go back & reread it almost immediately, haha.

my age has never made me wise by idrilka (E, 63,439)

Thoughts: I absolutely loved this. It was pretty CQL (The Untamed) compliant & told the post-canon story of Wei Ying wandering alone as a rogue cultivator after the events of the show. Of course he was pining after his zhiji the entire time, so when he heard gossip that the Chief Cultivator might be married by summer's end it nearly undid him. The angst was excruciating, but at the same time, One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fics somehow always manage to be fun at the same time. I've read several post-canon, wandering Wei Ying stories, & this one was particularly good.

[doyouknowhowtowaltz]

What would a child of autumn and winter look like? As much as I love cutsy little fawn/kitten sapling looking things the idea of them making an absolute abomination is very funny. A thing (calling it a creature would be generous) that never was supposed to happen that simply appeared due to how close the seasons have come to each other, that’s far more mindless monster then either parent

I've been meaning to put all my thoughts on something like this somewhere, so I'll make a list.

"Ours" By A Technicality: This is an honorable mentions category for children that aren't actually from a union of the Beast and Enoch, but are the progeny of one of the two, generally I'd say produced asexually. Lorna from The Sins of the Father and Fiona from @faerytri's The Story Teller's Tales are good examples. (And everyone should read A Horrid Birth because I have never ever read accidental baby acquisition done so right. It has horror it has humor! But most importantly, it has little Fiona!)

Audrey II Electric Boogalloo: AKA the Weird Terrible Plant that we have joint custody over. I'm not sure you would technically count this as offspring, but I do! I think the most likely outcome is a terrible pumpkin-edel fusion. Mira-eyeteeth's Plunge is my absolute favorite example (I just spent half an hour tracking it down because I would be remiss not to include it). The flowering edelwoods in my Lotus Gardener AU are another, and I'm working on an even better version of the concept right now.

V'GER Fusion: Again, we're really playing with the concept of "offspring", but a true merger of the Beast and Enoch, would be its own entity in and of itself. The Maypole in A Great and Terrible Union is a proto-v'ger style fusion, though there are definitely a lot of fics that flirt with this concept, I don't know if I've ever seen it fully played out. I think a Beast!Enoch (I swear I'm going to write it) or a Mayor!Beast (now there's an idea) would fall in this category.

Neither Sentient Nor Sapient Nor Alive in Any Conventional Sense: A lot of things fall in this category, but Miss Inky once mentioned miniature blackholes and tears in reality. Miniature Blackholes I think are my favorite, little hungry things that can't sustain themselves and evaporate, or maybe even more permanent tiny things that either don't emit, or consume their own hawking radiation and are perfectly stable... until they're fed. To beat a metaphor of a horse to death, I like the idea that instead of sparks flying when they kiss, it's a bunch of primordial blackholes that immediately vanish, maybe they emit flashes of radiation as the go.

Little Abomination: This is I think more in the spirit of what you were asking about, kittens with big ears and budding antlers, or horrible amalgams of fabric and wood and fur that look like strange little puppets of... something vaguely animal like, presumably these are born, but I rather like the idea that they grow on trees or perhaps hatch out of pumpkins like eggs. I think we're definitely in negative heterosis hybrid territory here. And I'm not sure they would be particularly long lived, as similar as the Beast and Enoch are in a lot of ways, they're also actively destructive to each other in others.

[captain-ozone]

MY VERY SPOILERY THOUGHTS ON THE LITTLE MERMAID

I’m going absolutely feral after seeing The Little Mermaid. My inner child has been FED, and I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT IT YET so here I am to spew my thoughts. Spoilers below:

1. Halle was perfect. I will accept no criticism on this point. The only thing I cared about when this live-action movie was announced was that our new Ariel would have a voice to match Jodi Benson’s, and Halle did more than deliver. She epitomized the spirit of Ariel in every way. She was playful, she was inquisitive, she was joyful and bright and fun, she was so good at tugging the heartstrings (even without dialogue!!!) and appealing to our innate wanderlust and desire to discover and experience,  and she was so so EARNEST in her portrayal I can’t even. 

2. THE DEPTH THEY ADDED TO PRINCE ERIC’S CHARACTER OKAY!?!?! LIKE?!?!?! Okay, I will NOT GET OVER THIS. It was SO CLEVER of them to mirror Ariel’s journey with his desire to break free of his position’s restrictions. It worked incredibly well and did not once detract from our heroine’s spotlight. Rather, it ENHANCED their connection and sold me on their three-day love story in a deeper and more meaningful way than the original did (more on that below). ALSO ALSO ALSO SO COOL of them not to kill off his ADOPTIVE mother. ADOPTIVE. Marvelous choice! Truly. His mother’s fear of the sea gods offered a parallel to Triton’s fear of the surface world, and *CHEFS KISS*

3. Melissa McCarthy’s Pour Unfortunate Souls was a FUN TIME. 

4. Awkwafina as Scuttle? Inspired. 

5. MAX WAS ADORABLE AND THE STAR OF THE SHOW EVERY TIME HE WAS ON SCREEN. BEST BOY.

6. Wherever they filmed? The castle? Fucking gorgeous.

7. JODI BENSON CAMEOOOOOOO 

8. Grimsby is the GOAT. Enough said.

9. NEW SONGS

I may get some hate for this, but I’m not the biggest fan of Lin-Manuel Miranda.  Idk how to put this. He has an insane amount of talent, but for...untraditional musicals. I wouldn’t say he’d be my first choice to write new songs that fit the more traditional Broadway-like musical vibes that characterized so much of the Disney Renaissance. 

That being said, The Scuttlebutt was the strongest of the bunch, I think. It was very much a Miranda song, and in most instances, I’d be a little irritated by how they included a song that has a style so different from the rest of the lyrical music we know and love from the original animated movie. But it worked here, likely because it was delivered by Awkwafina’s Scuttle and FIT the character.

Honorable mention to Wild Uncharted Waters, only because WOW Jonah Hauer-King went OFF on that performance. This boy said “I get one musical number and I’m going to KILL IT” and he did.

Also very much liked the Part of Your World (Reprise II)! It tied everything together really nicely.

10. THE OTHER NOTABLE CHANGES I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT

I LOVE THAT ARIEL HESITATED BEFORE CHOOSING TO GO THROUGH WITH THE SPELL.

I LOVE THAT ARIEL WAS FORCED TO FORGET SHE NEEDED A KISS FROM ERIC. --> THIS. THIS IS FREAKING AMAZING. I can’t even express how much more I felt for Ariel and Eric’s love story. How much more real it felt. How much more believable and true. I don’t buy in to one-day (or few-day) love stories very easily, especially when physical intimacy/attraction is a driving force. My little aroace ass dug the fact that kissing Eric literally was the last thing on Ariel’s mind. She got to be herself, explore this new world, AND do it with someone who appreciated her curiosity and found joy in how much joy she was experiencing, who could have just as much fun as she could. God. Goals. 

I LOVE THAT ERIC KNEW SOMETHING WASN’T RIGHT WITH VANESSA, EVEN IF HE COULDN’T PUT HIS FINGER ON IT. Very reminiscent of Prince of Song and Sea by Linsey Miller (a YA AU retelling told from Prince Eric’s POV. It’s a fun, easy read, if you’re curious).

I LOVE THAT ARIEL ACTIVELY TACKLED VANESSA AND BROKE THE SHELL NECKLACE HERSELF.

I LOVE THAT ARIEL WAS THE ONE TO STAB URSULA. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. WE LOVE A BADASS HEROINE WHO DON’T NEED NO MAN TO SAVE HER.

All of these changes were important and mean a lot to me. I think it challenges a lot of the issues people have with the original animated movie, in that, here in the 2023 version, no one can argue that Ariel made her choices because she was lusting after a man. Or that she’s a damsel in distress. Very good stuff there.

11. My critiques

Some of the cinematography was weird. The transition between acting scenes and singing scenes didn’t always flow right. They felt abrupt and awkward. I definitely worried a bit about the CGI too, and it wasn’t too terrible imo. 

And my biggest complaint: idk what it was about the ending, but it didn’t *quite* hit right. In the original animated movie, one of the last bits of dialogue comes from Triton, when he says, “...how much I’m going to miss her.” The finale of the animated movie is then a spectacle of swelling music and a heartfelt case of “show” rather than “tell.” The hug between Ariel and Triton on the wedding barge is perfect. The way in which the mer-people come to witness the wedding and send off Eric and Ariel is perfect. 

The live-action ending felt...a little too somber. It became too much about Triton letting go and not enough about Ariel and Eric setting off on adventure together or about their worlds colliding in peace. I wouldn’t say that the last conversation between Triton and Ariel in the 2023 movie cheapens the line “...how much I’m going to miss her” and the bittersweetness with which he gifts her back her human legs, but it came close. I would have MUCH rather had a little more from Eric and Ariel than from Triton. LIKE HELLO??? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT RING GRIMSBY KICKED AWAY!??? THERE WAS SOMETHING THEY COULD HAVE USED RIGHT THERE. Or better yet: if they wanted to do something super touching, they could have had Eric’s mother and Triton do a short aside by themselves, or perhaps even have a sort of moment where they acknowledge each other with respect/compassion/understanding before we all refocused on Ariel and Eric for the grand finale. But nah, they did what they did, and I’ll be a bit salty about it forever.

But anyway. Overall, I was very pleased. My disappointment with the lack of emotional impact from the ending does not supersede my enjoyment of everything else.

If you made it this far, please share your thoughts! I’m eager to talk to people, because all my friends aren’t like me and didn’t go see it opening night, lol.