#and like apparently even photosets all changed to text things??

[niieve]

i fucking hate beta editor jfc

[bondsmagii]

Please give me the forbidden Goncharov discourse 👀

so for context, this comes from a post by tumblr user lastoneout that reads:

turns out tumblr does have reading comprehension and the ability to analyze a complex text through multiple frameworks and have a nuanced discussion while doing so but apparently we were all saving it up to have nuanced discussions about a fake movie with no actual text to analyze

and then my tags on the post, which read:

#this is so funny but i maintain it's the only unrealistic thing about goncharov (1973) #like you mean to tell me the fandom on tumblr is this huge and yet there's not one hate blog? #there's not a core group of haters posting the most deranged piss on the poor shit in the tag? #no discourse? no anon hate? #christ but there's not a single poc in it come on tumblr i've not seen a single person get called a racist for liking it #this is a glimpse into what peace on planet earth would look like #(ironically i do have some deep analysis for why this might be but i will spare op lmao)

now forgive me if this makes no sense, because this is the first time I have tried to articulate it before, and of course in keeping with the theme it's about a fake movie (cinematic masterpiece Goncharov, (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese).

with the obvious out of the way first: Goncharov is a fictional movie, it does not exist, and therefore there it nothing to say about the real-world issues associated with lack of representation. this means we can skip that in actuality, though if we're looking at it from the perspective of a real movie and how it would be regarded on Tumblr, I'm sure that there would be related discourse. however, this is not real, so we can focus on the more entertaining, light-hearted sides of fandom. and this is universally what Goncharov posts were like: gifsets, fanart, humorous and well-written textual analysis, deep and pretentious photosets and quotes, everything that you love to see. but it was odd, in terms of realism, that there were no haters at all. which made me wonder: why are there haters when it comes to real things, but not when it comes to fake ones? part of this is what's mentioned above: in real life, there are some dynamics and trends and issues that can and do have a very real impact on society, or represent aspects of society that should change. but I can't help think it was something else, too.

I mentioned in my tags hate blogs specifically, because in real fandoms, you can easily find hate blogs that have absolutely nothing to do with any real, tangible criticism. it is just vitriolic hate: of a character, of a book/film, of an actor or actress involved, or some combination of these. there's no actual criticism, and very often there are massive feats of mental gymnastics used to make fans of [character] or [thing] look bad. it is just seething hatred, all directed towards something that is supposed to be entertainment; it's supposed to be fun! so why do some people take something harmless and make their entire personalities about hating it -- as well as spending significant parts of their day talking shit, getting into arguments, and even sending anon hate and threats to fans? it's because there are some people out there who like to hate things. they don't seem to like having fun. anything fun that comes their way, they have to pick holes in it; they have to have something negative to say to it. deep down, they know this is a very sad way to live. they know there's a difference between being a casual hater who likes to bitch about things in private with friends, or make the occasional joke or rant online -- and running a literal blog dedicated to hating something. they know there's a difference and they don't want to admit that they're losers, so they dress it up as something noble. these days, it's usually activism. this also explains the mental gymnastics, the reaches, the "fans of [character] are -ist or -phobic" shit. they're applying a thin coat of legitimacy to the fact that they're irrationally angry about something completely pointess, and there are a lot of people out there who seem to think this is a good and beneficial way to spend their time.

even among fans, there are some who seem to be having a bad time. I have looked at certain posts or blogs before and wondered to myself if the person even actually likes it, or if at this point they're just hostage to nostalgia or the idea of it (either the potential or their fan version of the universe) and they can't just call it quits. these people are not the same as the previously described, as they don't make their whole lives about hating something, but they're clearly miserable and could do with moving on, and they do contribute to the kinds of critical and often aggressive posts missing from the Goncharov project. the absence of this, as well as the more unhinged hatred, does leave a pretty obvious gap in the believability of the film's existence, and this is... rather depressing, really.

the thing that allowed Goncharov to be a peaceful experience was because of the fact that it wasn't real, and everyone knew it. but this should be applied to all films and books: they are not real. while some criticisms are valid (such as the terrible writing that female characters are often subject to, or the lack of representation in popular cinema, etc) a lot of the hate comes from interpersonal beef about characters, and these people aren't real. it's a very strange thing to witness: that so many people are capable of understanding that Goncahrov and Katya etc aren't real, and therefore there's no point getting mad about them, but they cannot carry that over to any other fictional character. the film's unreality is part of the joke, woven into it from the foundations, and so no hater, no matter how deranged, could possibly take themselves seriously hating it. instead they have to resort to complaining about the joke itself, and how annoying it is, but the content remains completely hater-free. it's an absolutely fascinating glimpse at the complete breakdown of the line between reality and fiction on this website -- Goncharov came from within, and its construction and creation was there for all to see, whereas other media seems to spring to the consumer fully formed and therefore with some kind of mystery that awards it a certain flair of legitimacy. I don't mean to say that anyone thinks it's real, but certainly they seem to think it's more serious, and worth getting worked up over. but none of it is real, none of it is worth getting worked up over, but for some reason it seems that when a creation comes from one's peers, this mystery is removed and the complete pointlessness and inanity of getting into fights online over fictional characters and events is illuminated in all its glory.

[userparamore]

nobody sent me an answer... yet i see people engaging with memes, text posts and even photosets of scenes that are giffed. i'm baffled

me too :/

i don’t really have an answer but there’s one thing i’ve noticed. and that is that the engagement depends so much on the fandom or media. when i gif film/tv, the engagement is much lower than bandom for some reason? and that’s when i’ve giffed popular tv-shows/films like hotd or marvel. these are gifs of big pop culture moments that lots of people talk about (at least for a month to half a year), but somehow the engagement is very low, and the likes overweigh the reblogs with over 50%. but when i gif bandom/music i find that the engagement is much higher and the likes/reblog ratio are usually almost at 50/50 (even if the overall notes are much lower). one would think that the bigger the fandom/media the bigger the engagement, but apparently not.

i also do think that tumblr has a problem with new users. tumblr needs to think a little more creatively on how to run the site. people not knowing how it works and using it wrong (aka thinking likes means something to an non existent algorithm, like on other social media, and how lurker users are very common), needs to be addressed in some way.

i love that tumblr doesn’t have an algorithm and i never want that to change. but i think tumblr not having an algorithm (but still keeping that function) AND addressing how social media and tech is moving forward into algorithms and AI feeding us content, can coexist. i’m not saying that tumblr should follow these trends, but i think tumblr could benefit from adapting/adjusting themselves a little bit to how the climate is on the internet right now.

the users are used to how other social media/apps works. there’s no secret that the apps are getting similar and similar as the years go by. like snapchat introducing stories, and then every other app suddenly had stories. or how short formed video content has gotten priority over images bc of tiktok (ig introducing reels and youtube introducing shorts). us users are getting used to all the apps being the same. so to me it’s no surprise that the users almost expect them to work the same too.

idk this turned into a essay and got a little off topic but i guess this is my attempt at an answer. we are used to the constant flow of content. with such an abundance of content (hate to use this word in this context but alas) the value of the content gets lowered aka why would i engage with this when i can click like, scroll and see the same thing again but this time it’s just a little different. idk again this is getting long but i also think it has something to do with our attention span, but that’s a topic for another way. but basically i think all of this is connected somehow lmao.

(i also realize that i’ve used this site for a decade. how i use tumblr has not changed from when i first started using tumblr. but i’ve seen how people using the site has changed kind of in line with how social media, and our habits towards it, has developed over the years)

[gatheringfiki]

The following ficlet was written by @marigoldvance​ based on this photoset.

Pairing: Fili/Kili Rating: T

You can also read this story on AO3.

If you’ve enjoyed this story, please leave a comment either in replies or on AO3. :)

Fire Moon

—

They called it a Fire Moon. A rare and incredible spectacle that appeared once every hundred years. With it came a closer connection to the magic that currented from the Nemeta into their roots, crisscrossing beneath the ground. Those born with magic, children of the Veiled Realm, were most affected, their powers cresting closer to the surface.

According to the Durin Grimoire, on loan from Kíli beneath his mother’s nose to prepare Fíli for the Feast, the Fire Moon invoked a werewolf’s animal magic, lending them the ability to transform completely; a full shift as Kíli called it. Apparently, Kíli’s common shift, a more anthropromorphized-looking change that maintains a lot of Kíli’s human attributes, isn’t all werewolves were capable of when they had access to the full extent of their magic.

Pretty interesting stuff.

Fíli liked Kíli’s pointy ears and his ridged forehead though, even the fangs that crowded his mouth weren’t ugly. It was all just … Kíli, in one form or the other. Despite saying so, Kíli had rushed to assure Fíli that the full shift was beautiful, a sight worth seeing, better than a bit more hair and pointy teeth.

This century, the Fire Moon was due to rise on Christmas which was just … right, it was a lot. Fíli was nervous and excited by turns; he couldn’t wait to see Kíli run in all his wolfy glory, but he was also meeting Kíli’s entire family in one fell swoop. They had traditions like any other family, passed down through the generations. The closest similarity Fíli could find was the Druid Alban Arthan, complete with candle lighting and intentions and log burning.

Fíli didn’t know if Kíli’s family respected every tradition he’d researched but he wasn’t going to waltz in ignorant, that was for sure. Hence, the grimoire Kíli smuggled to him at his behest.

            “It’ll give me at least an idea of what’s going to happen, won’t it?”

            “I guess so. If it’ll make you feel better, Fee, I’ll bring you something more accurate than Google to read.”

He was determined to make a good first impression.

Especially considering they were all werewolves. With claws and superhuman strength. Who could smell things, Fíli remembered because Kíli talked about how he smelt at every given opportunity; citrus, mint, come – a lot of come, werewolves were horny buggers with a short refractory period and Fíli was helpless to the things Kíli’s slippery tongue persuaded him to do.

For that reason, Fíli had banished Kíli from his house until Fíli had been formally introduced, abstinent and extra clean.

Fíli fell back on his bed, arm over his eyes, and groaned, the grimoire snapping itself shut at his ankle.

What had he gotten himself into?

⋉⋊

Two days until the Fire Moon and Fíli was anxious. He’d been anxious all week which made him productive which meant the house looked summoned from a Christmas card: holly and mistletoe in every doorway, garland and burgundy ribbon twisted down the banister and strung over doorframes, the mantlepiece hidden under white-cotton snow and a Christmas village Fíli teleshopped the entirety of at four in the morning at the one-week countdown.

He wouldn’t be so anxious if Kíli would call. Text. Email. Send a letter by post, bloody draw a fog-heart in the kitchen window. It had been two days and nothing. He was sure, two nights ago, while he was teetering on the stepstool, hanging the last of the mistletoe, he’d sensed Kíli nearby. Banished he may be but Fíli knew Kíli lurked in the boughs of the oak outside Fíli’s bedroom window, his possessive streak a mile wide.

(Kíli claimed he liked to be close to Fíli, felt settled when they were in shorter proximity. His inner-wolf was calmer in Fíli’s presence which, yeah, was nice to hear.)

The sensation only lasted a split second before it was gone. By the next morning, Kíli had gone radio silent.

Two days before Fíli was obliged to meet Kíli’s family and he’d pulled a Great Disappearing Act reminiscent Houdini would be impressed by.

Swiping his phone from the counter as he waited for his lasagna to warm in the oven, Fíli scrolled through the last few texts Kíli had sent for a hint as to where he’d gone. Was there some sort of days-long preparation that needed doing before the run? Was he more out of control closer to the Fire Moon? No, that didn’t make sense. What if his parents already hated Fíli, non visus hominis, and demanded Kíli not to come ‘round anymore?

As the alpha, she had the power to make that happen.

Fíli blanched, suddenly dizzy. The room was too stuffy but his fingers and toes felt cold. He pulled his collar away from his neck, fanned his shirt to get some airflow going. His eyes went filmy and his throat felt corked.

Kíli wouldn’t do that. He repeated, sagging against the counter and sliding to the floor, bringing his knees under his chin as he tried to drag some air into his lungs. Kíli would say goodbye.

He tugged his hair, scratched lines into his scalp, hoping to ground himself as his heart ticked up to hummingbird and his lungs drowned. Something beeped, quick-quick-long, but the sound was lost in the tide breaking against his eardrums.

Black inked the edges of his vision, an uncomfortable tickling pulse cramped his muscles and numbing his nerve endings. And then, just when he thought he was going to pass out on the kitchen floor for his uncle to find:

            “Fíli! Fee, hey, you’re okay, you’re okay, I’m right here.”

Fíli floated in a strong embrace, lifted and carried away; cheek squished into a firm chest he could identify the feel of in a blind-touch lineup. A bite of cold air, some more jostling and then Fíli was being cradled, held tightly and rocked, arms and hands everywhere, rubbing comfort where they touched.

            “Everything’s alright, Fee, I’ve got you.”

As soon as Fíli’s throat opened and he could breathe again, Fíli gasped, “Where the fuck have you been!?”

The body under him, around him, stiffened, the hands on his shoulder and side paused. Kíli leaned back to get a look at Fíli. Fíli stared angrily back.

            “I … you wanted me to go away.”

Fíli surged up – bad idea – and collapsed limply back into Kíli. He rallied the strength to grab Kíli’s face and say, “I told you we couldn’t have sex, Kee, I never told you to disappear! We’re two days away from meeting your whole family—”

            “Fee, I thought you wanted me gone. Forever. Are you saying you don’t?”

Eyes bugging, Fíli cried, “Of course I don’t!” his limbs finally feeling enough for him to scrunch up and flail them. “Why would you think that!?”

Kíli ran a hand along Fíli’s arm to his shoulder to rest it in the crook of his neck, palm supernaturally hot and steadying.

            “You warded your whole house with mistletoe.”

The anger drained from Fíli in a whoosh.

            “I did what?”

            “You hung mistletoe everywhere. It hurts to be in there.” Kíli motioned at the open front door behind them and Fíli seemed to come awake again that second because it was only then that he noticed they were in a heap on his front porch. “I thought—I thought you changed your mind…”

            “Kíli, God, no, I wouldn’t.”

            “I tried to tell myself that but,” Kíli chuckled wetly, “There’s so much of it.”

Fíli twisted so he could wrap his arms around Kíli, drag Kíli’s nose behind his ear to seek solace in Fíli’s scent.

            “I didn’t know.” Fíli said, “I had no idea, Kíli, I swear.”

They relaxed into each other, Kíli nipped and kissed under Fíli’s jaw while Fíli patiently let him go through the motions. They sat there until Fíli started shivering, Kíli releasing him after Fíli promised to go in and take down all the mistletoe right away, toss it in the bin at the side of the house.

            “I’m so sorry,” Fíli said for the umpteenth time, wriggling further into the U Kíli’s body made around him.

Kíli trailed dry presses of lips along Fíli’s hairline, nosed his shoulder, “It’s fine. You know now.”

            “You didn’t … tell you mother, did you?”

Silence.

            “Kee?”

Kíli’s arms tightened.

            “Did you?”

Nothing.

            “Wonderful! I’m going to be literally eaten alive by your family. ‘Welcome to the Feast, you’re it’!—”

A brief trawl of fangtips and then Kíli’s jaw fastened securely – not painfully – at the back of Fíli’s neck, a command for submission that Fíli’s human nature didn’t acquiesce to.

Fíli proved this point by elbowing Kíli in the gut.

[nikatyler]

Look at that, I’m doing replies after...more than a month? I don’t know. I didn’t check. I also won’t reply to every single thing because 1) my activity feed doesn’t show it all, as always and 2) it’s too late to reply to some things, it would be pointless now. However, thank you all for commenting from time to time, it makes my day. And well, I was against it at first, but I might start replying directly under the posts, I’ll only do replies posts for things I want to talk about more.

Life updates? I’m doing good. My life, surprisingly, didn’t turn upside down when I started uni. My social life also didn’t change too much. But I have a few friends that I talk to in the classes we have together. It’s not a friendship friendship if you know what I mean, but hey. It’s only the beginning, things might change. I’m not losing faith that I’ll walk out of this school with at least one friend.

Played Roses a bit in the past three days. The random gameplay part was boring, I didn’t know what to do, my heart really wasn’t in it, most of the time I just left the game running and interfered only when it was needed, so I cut down on that and went straight to the storyline. I’m not discontinuing this legacy before Regan gets a happy ending. Once Regan is happy, it’s Golden Days time...which means even more intense storytelling. Yay. I’m already exhausted just thinking about it but also, it’s exciting. I love that story so much and I can’t wait to bring it to life.

So yeah. Here are some replies from the past month!

dandylion240 replied to your post “Also apparently on this day one year ago I started creating my ts3...”

I sometimes feel guilty too. I seldom open my ts3 game. But I don’t want to remake my ts3 sims into ts4 because then I know I’d never open the game again

elisabettasims replied to your post “Also apparently on this day one year ago I started creating my ts3...”

I don't play TS3 anymore because it often took up to an hour for my game to even decide it was going to open.

And that was with a GOOD computer.

berrybbbies replied to your post “Also apparently on this day one year ago I started creating my ts3...”

yeah its just a trade off i guess lol but having not played sims 3 for a long time makes me miss it and actually enjoy playing it instead of go in to take pics only! plus loading times are not that bad if you merge everything (but thats a problem on its own haha)

Yeah, creating your ts3 sims in ts4 can definitely lead to not wanting to open ts3 because hey, you have them in this other game that loads a lot faster! And I mean, I do love ts3, but...I’m not going to spend an hour or something just on trying to get into the game to do a random photoshoot.

I have a lot of my stuff merged, but I should probably do it again because I got a lot of stuff since then. Right now, it takes about an hour to load my legacy saves...and that’s quite a long time because by the time it loads, I start working on something else and I don’t feel like playing anymore. I’m usually writing while waiting for it to load and of course, when it loads, I’m in the middle of something I can’t put off - a good dialogue, a fun scene or just something important that I was dying to write and now I finally got to it.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Dad! Let’s take a selfie!” Ross: *contemplating the meaning...”

Hey, Ross? Remember that time you took a selfie flexing your non-existent muscles?

Never forget

what an icon

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Yeah, she’s cooking in your house. Don’t be so upset.”

I bet she doesn't have the "always welcome" trait. It's the first thing I buy, it's only 500 points, LOL

Thank you for reminding me these bonus traits exist! I totally forgot about them.

fataleromeo replied to your post “The character ask meme thing for Ross please ❤”

"This post has so many opportunities to be ruined by tumblr" OMG I feel that so hard ��������

Sometimes I’m surprised by all the ways tumblr can go wrong...and then I’m surprised that tumblr can still surprise me.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Oh look, your stepfather still has moodswings of a teenager. That...”

Half the vampires in young adult fiction behave this way. :D Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional. LOL

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Oh look, your stepfather still has moodswings of a teenager. That...”

Lmao Edward oops I mean Caleb.....

I’d pick Caleb over Edward any day but yeah you’re not wrong lmao

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Sooo…I don’t know what happened (actually I think I might have an idea...”

One of my sims was an elder and her hair kept going between grey and her natural color when she was younger. Sometimes in the same sitting. She'd come visit, I"d look and it would be grey. I'd look again a few minutes later and it would be red.

Interesting...I think this happened because I had a separate recolour for his red hair, it had only that swatch and no other. When he got older, I switched to a WMS file with all the colours, but I think the game left the original file for his other outfit.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Sooo…I don’t know what happened (actually I think I might have an idea...”

I miss his vibrant red hair

Then I might have a pleasant surprise for you in...the distant future. 👀

poisonfireleafs replied to your post “Yup, looks like the German class is destined to always be my biggest...”

Ooh, learning German can be so hard. Good luck!

I found that I actually don’t have trouble with the grammar. The grammar seems quite easy to me, everything has its place. When I’m reading something, I often understand what’s in the text. The problem comes when I hear someone speak German lol. I understand very little. It was fine in high school, my teacher spoke slowly, but my teacher here speaks so fast...it’s fun. D:

Also my vocabulary sucks to be honest...I need to work on a lot of things.

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Okay so you guys might remember that Eliza is a vampire in this save....”

can i just say that the way you wrote this post's caption is perhaps THE funniest way to phrase this

That was my intention, thank you for appreciating it!

desira-sims replied to your post “spoiler”

We don't accept death. They must all live forever. ��

I wish I could promise that...but hey, I’ve turned one of my heirs into a vampire, I could give in with every generation and they could all be immortal...hmm...it’s tempting.

dandylion240 replied to your photo “So I opened the Rose Legacy save for the first time in four months...”

I saw this and thought he'd been abducted by aliens lol

I thought aliens were involved too and it scared me haha. They’re a big part of this legacy (or of this blog in general) but their time to shine is over. We can’t make everything about them, can we?

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Lucian: “They’re doing it again, aren’t they? They’re kissing. Dang it...”

Haha! Ross, in fact, probably CAN'T control himself, being a rose gen ��

You are absolutely correct haha.

Actually, they used to be able to control themselves. Back when Sunset was a child, they made sure to not have woohoo until they were sure she was away haha. But I guess times have changed and they care less now lol

[esotheria-sims]

Replies, pt.2 :)

In which I drabble with @skyburned about my latest rotation. Made it into its own text post for easier tracking, and also because I would’ve ran out of characters if I tried to add these with the comment option.

skyburned replied to your photoset “Dinner time. The same crowd from this afternoon is gathered at the...”

All that hotness at one table and there's poor Ambrose relegated once again to bussing the table. What a sad face. ACR may prevent any romantic interactions between teens and adults, and your own preferences of course, but Phillip needs to take a second look at Marcus. He's not going to be a teen for long and the Queen seems breathless when he's near. What a backstory! Are you going to try to go there again or just let it happen and maybe lose it?

“Poor Ambrose" has become a bit of a chorus around here. xD As for Teen/Adult romance, the only thing keeping it from escalating right now is my own vigilant micro-managing. I forgot which mod it is that enables ACR interactions for Teen sims (some sort of ACR plug-in, I think?), but it was exactly around the time I took those pics that I added it to my game... and sure enough, immediate results. It’s funny (and even sort of ironic in a way) that it was her who developed a crush on him first, because I kind of imagined it happening the other way around... so yes, Phillip absolutely needs to take a better look at Marcus (and maybe try to be a little more supportive of his friend, even when he thinks that what he’s after is off-limits...or heck, especially then! I’m not saying that Phillip’s harsh words might have come from a place of lowkey jealousy, but I’m not saying it’s impossible, either). 

And since you brought up backstories and old times, I coincidentally happened upon this old post of mine just today. It contains the full Blackbird-Moonfeather family tree the way it was back in 2013, and gosh, does looking at it give me nostalgia! Which brings me to your next question (that also happens to be The Gretchenfrage of my entire BaCC): am I going to try and go down the same route as before or do something different this time? Well... I’m going to be a tease and say - stick around and find out for yourself! ;)

skyburned replied to your photoset “We have a full house, and someone’s gotta feed all those hungry sims....”

Aruena is so pretty, she needs to take a more personal interest in the persons doing the cooking or table clearing. Marcus outshines everybody. Rosalind and Feanor never slow down!

Say it louder for the people in the back! I wouldn't say that Aruena completely ignores the help (or those offering help), but she's definitely not as close with them as she could be, given a chance. Pity, she's missing out. But hey, she might change her mind - you never know! Can't ignore that cloud of tousled silver hair for too long. ;) As for Feanor and Rosalind, they've been at it for Two. Entire. Rotations! So yeah, ‘never slowing down’ is an accurate way to put it.

skyburned replied to your photoset “As a great lover of the Arts, Aruena was delighted to find out that...”

Yeah...Phillip and Rosalind...if he hangs around long enough he's bound to see something embarrassing! Is Aruena's interest in Marcus confined to the easel? He is so gorgeous.

Knowing Rosalind's track record, it probably wouldn't be the first time poor Phillip walks in on something he absolutely didn't need to see. xD It's fortunate the bedroom is all the way up on the 4th floor, it significantly lowers the chances of him accidentally stumbling upon the lovers... unless he goes out of his way to look for trouble, but that's another matter entirely. And if you've been following my latest posts, you probably already know that it isn't just Marcus' love for art that Aruena admires about him... ;) (I tried to take it slowly with the two of them, but apparently ACR was having none of my bull. xD) 

skyburned replied to your photoset “Don’t be fooled by Ambrose’s stern exterior, he’s actually a pretty...”

The way Aruena was watching Ambrose, I wondered if she was admiring more than his maid performance. Feanor and Rosalind look so good together! Love the photo by the stairs with her dress all spread out - just lovely shot.

Are you a psychic? Because sometimes it seems like you’re able to read deeper into my game than what I care to show on the screen! :D It’s true, I caught Aruena heartfarting over Ambrose a couple of times, though I choose to ignore it for the most part. He plays for the other team, they’re not exactly compatible in status... and besides, it’d be really awkward for both siblings to share a lover. Ambrose may be cute, but he’s no Don Lothario! :P As if Feanor bedding his sister’s best friend wasn’t bad enough already, lol! And speaking of the two sweethearts - I love how the pic by the stairs turned out as well! I don’t tend to pay much attention to how my pics are coming out as I shoot them, but that’s not to say that I can’t revisit them at a later time and admire them in retrospect. :) Thank you for your lovely comment(s), seeing you in my notes never fails to lift my spirits!

skyburned replied to your photoset “@thepathofnevermore and @blackswan-sims tagged me for the Flashback...”

Just gorgeous. Your work is luminous. Marcus glows but what you manage to do with him, to keep him the way he IS while still making the changes you want so he fits with the environment, well I'm in awe. Also, thank you for all the support you've given me...

You’re too good to me. ♥ ‘Luminous’ is hardly the word I’d pick to describe my 2010-era sims (looking at them always gives me a pretty bad case of The Cringe xD), but I AM happy with how Marcus ended up looking, all things considered. The 2010 version may have been bad, but you could say it served its purpose. :) And you're very, very welcome! You know it's all from the heart.♥

[ask-glados]

Hologram Master Post

I wanted to compile all my hologram headcanons and pictures all into one post so that I can link back to this post on my blog for everyone’s reference. I was going to just edit the original hologram info post I made a while back, but I wanted to do a photoset format for the images and have the images side by side and apparently I can’t do that in a text post, so I’m just making a brand new master post here.

One change to her hologram that I’m making is that her voice can come out of either her hologram or her core, instead of just her core. Well, enjoy~!

—————

Introduction: GLaDOS’s Hologram

This headcanon is sort of my own unique version of giving GLaDOS a human/bipedal type body while still keeping her original body and core at the same time.

Basically, after GLaDOS makes some friends and becomes more accepting of her own humanity, she creates a hard-light hologram projection of herself that she can utilize at will.

Appearance

The hologram is of Caroline, her human form. -

It is 3D, in full color, and looks exactly like the real thing, except she is semi-transparent and has glowing yellow eyes, like her core. -

She created this hologram using a modified version of her hard-light bridge technology. Instead of being red-hot to the touch, it’s pleasantly warm.  -

Functionality

The ‘hard-light’ nature of the hologram means that she has physicality and can touch and interact with her environment. -

She can see, hear, and feel through the hologram.  -

She can control both her hologram and chassis at the same time, although her focus tends to be on one body at a time, with the view from her other body fading to the background. -

Her hologram functions as a sort of puppet that she controls with her Personality Core as an extension of her body. -

The hologram is projected directly from her Personality Core, and thus, requires her Personality Core to be present. -

Her hologram can also be projected from any cameras her core is connected to. That means she can materialize the hologram anywhere throughout her facility, so long as she has a camera nearby. -

It isn’t like a movie projector, though, meaning there doesn’t need to be an uninterrupted line of sight between her core and the hologram. There is a limit on the distance though, which I’m gonna say is around 50-100 feet or so. -

Abilities

Her hologram is fairly strong. Hard-light bridges can support multiple people and heavy equipment, so her hologram, being composed of that same hard-light technology, has comparable strength. -

Her hologram cannot become wet, as it doesn’t retain water, so water simply slides off her. -

Her hologram can eat using an eating subroutine that she created for herself. Any food she eats is burned up in her holographic incinerator stomach and is converted to extra energy for her core, if she needs it. She can taste and enjoy the food, but does not become hungry or full. -

Her hologram can leave the facility by disconnecting her Personality Core from her chassis and attaching it to a combo mobile hard drive/battery pack she created for herself, and then having the hologram (or someone near her) carry it. She is able to take her entire database with her as well, thanks to the amount of power and storage space the mobile hard drive/battery pack gives her.  (You can see her mobile core pictured above) -

In the Space Travel verse she has with Akira, it’s a bit different, since she is able to upload her consciousness into their ship without her Personality Core. In this verse, the hologram comes with her consciousness and is projected from the ship’s holo-projectors. -

Weaknesses

If her hologram is hit with enough force, it will fizzle out until she generates it again. Though, she will temporarily be in a bit of shock from the pain, so it won’t be instant. I suppose that’s a disadvantage to her hologram. It’s another thing she can feel pain through. Though, it wouldn’t result in damage to her actual Core body, other than the shock and pain.

Just because she can lift vehicles and heavy things though doesn’t mean she’s invincible. First of all, she needs the proper leverage and grip to lift it. And second of all, if a heavy thing fell on her, like a vehicle, even if it only fell a foot or so before it hit her, I think it would definitely fizzle out her hologram.

Also, you can’t kill GLaDOS through her hologram. You might be able to stun her momentarily through her hologram, but you have to attack her actual Personality Core in order to do any real damage.

Intimacy

As nice as her hologram is, it’s still just an extension of her core and her ‘real body’, so interactions with her core and chassis are a bit more… intimate? I don’t mean that in a weird way, though. It’s just a ‘distance’ thing. It’s sort of like the difference between touching someone’s arm while they’re wearing a long sleeve shirt versus touching the actual skin of their arm? It’s just more personal.

So like, giving a massage or kiss to her core or her chassis will get a slightly bigger reaction than if you did so to her hologram. That isn’t to say that she doesn’t still have a strong sense of touch and feeling with her hologram, it’s just enhanced a bit when you interact with her actual core or chassis body.

—————

If you to see the full size versions of the artworks, here’s the links to the art posts:

Night at the Opera

Hologram Reference Pic

[kanaruaizawa16]

Kanaru Abe Presents: Elkin Ramírez, vocals & leader on Kraken until 2017

From: Kraken Photosets Series 7/7

Banner: Photo from the Mägo de Oz Fest 2013 at Bogotá, Colombia, November 9th 2013. Drawing by Kanaru Abe 1- With bassist Luis Ramírez on Vive Latino 2014, on Ciudad de México, March 2014. 2- I don’t know the time where this photo was taken. Found as one of the banners of the official page of the band 3- Again with Luis Ramírez and having him as his “pillow”, apparently performing “Vestido de Cristal”. This photo is from June 20th 2015, his last live, in Royal Center Theater in Bogotá, before he was diagnosed with the illness which would end up taking his life. 4- From 2011, originally was taken for an interview with “El Colombiano” Journal. It was included later on the last pages of “La Fortaleza del Titán” book, written by Rafael González Toro. 5- Full-band photo, in 2013 in México. Apparently the transporter did not pay some taxes and they ended up with the car inmobilized... 6- From a 2012 year live in Bogotá. 7- Being “sandwiched” by Luis Ramírez (left) and Andrés Leiva (right), with Rubén Gélvez (up) being the “topping” of the “sandwich”, on a photo inside their hotel room in México in 2013 year. 8- Playing with one of the cameras who were used for the recording of “Kraken 30 Años: La Fortaleza del Titán“ DVD, at the end of “Sin Miedo al Dolor”, at the Orquideorama of Jardín Botánico of Medellín, Colombia, December 18th 2013. 9- Taking a rest and eating a “cholado” (a typical sweet drink with fruits of Southwest of Colombia) in Cali, Colombia, in March 15 2015, while promoting the “La Fortaleza del Titán” book there.

----

Name: Elkin Fernando Ramírez Zapata Nicknames: El Indio Pepe (childhood nickname), Jefe/Jefecito (”Boss”, by his bandmantes and some fans), Titán (reference to the band, most of the fans call him this way), Nando (”Fernando” variant, by his mother; his parents didn’t call him by his first name) Birthplace: Medellín, Colombia Birthdate: October 26th, 1962 Day of death: January 29th, 2017 (Medellín, Colombia) Entered on Kraken in: June 18th 1984 (founding member) Positions: Vocals, Lyrics, General Director (until his passing) Albums he appears: Todo Hombre es una Historia Demo-EP (1986) (Vocals, lyrics) Escudo y Espada Demo-EP (1986) (Vocals, lyrics) Kraken I (1987) (Vocals, lyrics, cover artwork) Kraken II (1989) (Vocals, lyrics, cover artwork) Kraken III (1990) (Vocals, lyrics, cover artwork) Kraken IV: Piel de Cobre (1993) (Vocals, lyrics, cover artwork, production) Kraken V: El Símbolo de la Huella (1995) (Vocals, lyrics) Una Leyenda del Rock! (1999) (Vocals, lyrics, production) Huella y Camino (2002 & 2005) (Vocals, lyrics) Tributo Nacional al Titán (2004; cover album produced by Andrés Felipe Muñoz, drummer and leader of Tr3s de Corazón) (Vocals on “Escudo y Espada” self-cover by Kraken) Filarmónico (2006) (Vocals, lyrics) Humana Deshumanización (2009) (Vocals, lyrics, cover artwork) Kraken VI: Sobre Esta Tierra (2016) (Vocals, lyrics, production) Kraken 30 Años: La Fortaleza del Titán (live DVD 2014&2017) (Vocals) El Legado (2017; compilatory, limited edition and collector-targeted EP release produced by Psychophony Records) (Appears as vocals in all the tracks; the booklet included some of his manuscript writtings) 

Other bands: Former member of Lemon Juice (1980-1981), Kripzy (1982) and Ferrotrack (1983) Guest vocals for several bands on Colombian rock scene, among them Arckano (”Milicia”, 2012) and Tr3s de Corazón (”La Estupidez de Este Mundo Demente”, 2011)

Other work info: (Former) owner of Athenea Producciones (independent music label, where Kraken is) Former singing private teacher Formation in painting, sculpture, writting and singing; self-taught, since he decided don’t go to University

One day, a nameless band by young guys of Medellín needed a vocal, and then it was recommended a guy with a powerful and skilled voice who was getting some name in the underground rock scene of Medellín. But Elkin already was in Ferrotrack, so he put a condition to the guys: They had to practice a lot for a year, and if they were able of pull it the repertory, he would join them. Clearly, they got it. The day Elkin decided to leave Ferrotrack and join this project was June 18th, 1984. By then it was also decided, by idea of Elkin, the name of that band: Kraken.

The reason Elkin became the de facto leader was because he was the oldest one and he was the only who had the time for manage things such as the money of the lives, representate the guys or travelling in bus for get people for lives, since all his mates were still finishing school or doing University, by then. Also, his mates of then trusted him to write the lyrics of all the songs, something that he always liked.

The demo EPs made enough noise on Medellín, and eventually they earned enough attention to sign a music label contract and record Kraken I, who was successful on the local scene, a major goal, and eventually Kraken II, who led them to mainstream recognizement with Vestido de Cristal.

But Kraken also had loads of lineup changes, mostly because of the struggles to stay on a band, responsabilities, and in some cases the economical issue, since Colombian labels weren’t (and aren’t) really interested on support rock. By late 1995, the only remaining original member in the band was Elkin himself. Because of this, he decided to take a decision: To protect the band legally and make it an organization where he would be the general boss, because of suffering of the project because of the greed of the intermediaries. This is because for him, Kraken was not only his band, it was his life project. So, since 1996, he was the legal boss of the band, not only a leader. This did not save the band of too many changes until 00s, but was a warrant of survivance for the project over the years.

Only after of this decision, Kraken could eventually manage to do a live album, the Huella y Camino, their most sold release. But in 2003, Elkin decided to move from Medellín to Bogotá, tired of the stagnation of the scene of his hometown. He even dared to say that if the band stayed in Medellín, it would have disbanded. Only then, he could form what is today the actual lineup, and the project Kraken Filarmónico, pioneer in Colombia and Latin America, as well as a theater-concept live such as the 30 years lives and stay in the scene, with high-quality albums and international tours for several parts of Latin America, even despite of the issues with mainstream media.

But in 2015, he was found with a brain malign tumour, what put temporally Kraken VI in a hold because of surgeries and very expensive treatments, but still he managed to record the vocals. Sadly, after of the release (September 2016), his health decayed fast, though most details of the actual situation were known only by 2017. While his passing was for most fans a shock, because they did really expect Elkin to survive, when the details of the situation were known, it was revealed that by December 2016, his days were already numbered.

The moment I decided to get interested to Kraken, officially, was January 26th 2017, because of a class of German. It was three days before of Elkin’s passing as final result of his illness: January 29th. I still remember the shock and surprise when I did see a tweet of a journal here, as well as remembering my classes. One week later, I looked for them in Spotify, and then my life turned out a madness.

If I have to describe him from what I learned all this time, I realized this guy just caused me a major shortcut in my potato brain. Even after he left this world, his music and legacy had kept touching the hearts of people. It shocked me seriously that he was already describe as kind and humble by others even when he was alive, I remember clearly my drama when I got Filarmónico album, from 2006, and I did read the text of Mr. Jaramillo (director of the Orquesta Filarmónica de Bogotá for this album) talking about Elkin. I think it’s a major drama to me because a band like Kraken I found it when I was already dealing with major disappointment of people, and I had became a very gloomy person. I still have some of these traits, but I admit that they had subdued.

It is impressive he had this powerful stage presence, this powerful voice, and at same time being a soft-spoken guy, and very sweet from what I could analyze. I still feel sometimes very angry with myself that I took forever to find about him. But, life allowed me to meet his son and his bandmates of the actual lineup. And, this talks more of him than what I would think: Andrés Ramírez is obvious his sweetness is because he was well-raised and his job for the band had been very good. And the kindness of the actual lineup and their compromise for keep the job, is a good reason to understand why this is the most stable lineup of Kraken.

In March 2016, the guys of the actual lineup organized a pair of small lives as a in-life tribute to their boss. About this, Elkin only said that what he dreamed the most with his band was to have something like a family, and that day he realized that he had it.

With this part I finish the “Kanaru Presents” series with Kraken.

#GraciasTitán

[imagesbyele]

so, there is a problem with my themes

edit: I’ll leave it in the tags in case people have even better ways to fix it, scripts and the like, but I found it and in case anybody else is having my problem

.spotify_audio_player 

and I’m giving it a max-width of post-size - padding needed to make it centered in posts that don’t look like unnested captions and still have a blockquote, so people can pick whichever look they prefer and post-size and never worry about spotify being a problem 

---

which I didn’t notice before because I didn’t know spotify posts were a thing

apparently because they are turned into text posts they overflow. Their image and audio-player cannot be resized, can only be moved by manipulating the margins. It counts as a ‘blockquote figure’ but if I add a border around them the border actually fits well into the posts (either due to scripts, I have the pxu photosets and the npf fix one) or simply because those images normally do) but the actual image and audioplayer get out of their own border and overflow

I already tried resizing it in every way, only blockquote figure moves it around (and keeps the blockquote under them too, kinda like broken npf posts) 

.audio-embed ignores them because they are turned into text posts, img, blockquote img, nothing works, only blockquote figure and like I said, that changes all figures within blockquotes (which are already perfect size and aligned) and leaves a blockquote anyway

the only fix I found would be to make text-posts be ‘unnested captions’ too, making blockquotes disappear and the spotify posts align with the post  But I always left text posts untouched because:

1) I like the blockquotes there

2) more important, rpers use xkit to cut replies before theirs or the thread will become infinitely long, turning posts into the old version of them as in they always have blockquotes. So with unnested captions every post looks like  -owner of the blog username  - the person they replied to username  -blockquote with the other person’s reply   -owner of the blog’s reply 

and every single post having your url name on it for nothing is weird among other things

I could also just use posts { overflow: hidden } but something important may be cut off

so I’m completely stuck and I want to find a solution and fix previous themes as well

if anyone can help, people comment or send an ask? maybe there is already some old fix I know nothing about, something that works even with the scripts I already added

[dramallamadingdang]

Before-bed replies. :)

For @emeraldfalconsims, @tamtam-go92, @scibirg, @didilysims, @penig, @ssatinn, @immerso-sims, and @fuzzyspork...

emeraldfalconsims replied to your link “ModTheSims - (Updated!) Mood Swing + Midlife Crisis”

Tbh, I looked at those and was immediately turned off by the terrible English in the popups. I wouldn't care if it was just the post itself, but I'm the kind of person who wants mods to fix the EAxis grammar errors, soooo...

I get you, but...Really, that's all easily fixable. One just needs to find and rewrite the text strings. I've done that often, especially when I used to use custom careers in my game, many of which included chance cards littered with badly-worded and grammatically-incorrect text written by obviously-not-native-English-speakers. This particular modder is obviously not a native English-speaker and obviously not fully fluent in the language, but I'm all kinds of tolerant when that's the case. With EA? Not so much, but even with them? We all make mistakes and typos from time to time that are missed in the editorial process, even when that process involves multiple people. Also, I'm well aware that my own grammar when yakking online and in forum/blog posts and things like that is far from perfect -- often deliberately so because, let’s face it, “speaking” with perfect grammar just “sounds” weird and/or unbearably pretentious -- so I try to be neither a pedant nor a hypocrite on the subject.

Anyway, yeah...Text strings be totes fixable, m'friend. ;)

tamtam-go92 replied to your link “ModTheSims - (Updated!) Mood Swing + Midlife Crisis”

Those Sound like really great Modus but im always a bit nervous about adding stuff like that to my game...

I am, too, mostly because I already use hundreds of mods in my game, so the outcome of adding new ones, especially those that alter lots of things, is always uncertain. 

So, what I do is have a testing neighborhood that I don’t care about. Its associated downloads folder contains a copy of just the Mods folder from my “real” game. I put the new mod in and play with it a bit in debug mode, see if I get error messages or if menu options go missing or any other stuff that’s a symptom of mod conflicts. If I do, I change loading order to see if that fixes the issues. If it does, then I copy the testing Mods folder back over to the folder in my “real” game. If it doesn’t, then I either don’t use the new mod or, if it’s something I really want, I run the Hack Conflict Detection Utility to see if it can tell me what the conflicting mod(s) is/are, and then I decide which I want more. And if the HCDU doesn’t give me any useful info, then I 50/50 until I find the conflicts and then decide between mods. Anyway, this way I find out if I can use the new mod along with those I already have without the possibility of doing any damage to any neighborhood I care about.

tamtam-go92 replied to your photoset “More random captioned pics because, basically, this is a household...”

Hopefully the girls will be old enough when Amalia dies...

Margo was like a day or two away from teenhood when those pics were taken, so no problem. :)

scibirg replied to your post “I'm excited about the olympics too! Especially ski jumping. I love to...”

Did you see the ladies ski jumping? Brave girls!

Honestly, most of the winter events involve bravery. Well, except curling, I guess. *laugh* I guess the worst that can happen with that is you drop a 40-lb rock on your foot or maybe slip and fall on your butt. :) And I guess the cross-country skiing is more physically-taxing than actually dangerous. And I guess the figure skating isn’t that risky, although some of those things that the pairs skaters do look more than a little scary for the female partner. But yeah, the ski-jumpers and downhill skiers and sliders and speed-skaters and snowboarders are all completely nutty in adrenaline-junkie ways that I totally identify with. :D

scibirg replied to your post “dunne-ias replied to your post: I’m excited about...”

Slalom is from Norwegian, meaning ski track with turns. In Norwegian cross-country skiing is called "langrenn" meaning long slide. Probably due to it being used for travelling long distances.

ssatinn replied to your post “dunne-ias replied to your post: I’m excited about...”

We call Nordic skiing "längdskidor" - direct translation would be "long ski". Alpine skiing we call "slalom", no idea where that word comes from though..

Hm, interesting! So in Swedish, any type of downhill skiing is called “slalom?” Because in English that word is reserved for the type of downhill skiing where you’re zig-zagging in a pattern through gates -- as the Norwegian word would imply -- not the kind where you’re just shooting straight down the hill. Or does Swedish have a different word for that, too?

I don’t know why I find stuff like this so interesting, but I do. :) Maybe I shoulda been a linguist or something...

didilysims replied to your post “I'm excited about the olympics too! Especially ski jumping. I love to...”

Woo Olympics! I find just watching the events gives me an adrenaline rush. Watching luge reruns today had me all "oh my-ing" and "oh no-ing" and actually jumping out of my seat a few times. Love those crazy dangerous downhill events. :D

OMG, that poor American luge-slider today! Did you see that? Quite the wipeout she had. Even so, I sooooooooooooooo want to luge. Like, if I could just go and do it once, like how people go skydiving, I totally would. Buuuuuut I suppose it’s something you actually have to learn how to do before you lay on a minimalist sled and zoom down a track of ice at ungodly speeds... :)

emeraldfalconsims replied to your post “I'm excited about the olympics too! Especially ski jumping. I love to...”

It's too bad that marksmanship is so tied in practical applications to killing. It was so empowering for me when I discovered a sport I was actually naturally good at.

That's not really the case, though. I mean, maybe it is in the mind of Joe Q. Public that's been fed a daily diet of crazy people killing other people mixed with glamorized violence in "entertainment," but beyond that, the practical application of marksmanship isn't killing (either people or other animals) but rather marksmanship competitions. Aside from niche things like biathlon, there are all sorts of local, regional, state, and national marksmanship competitions that happen throughout the year, regulated by their own governing bodies. I used to do 3-gun competitions, myself. 

Marksmanship isn't about killing anything because when you get down to it, hunting animals -- or even killing a person, if that’s your goal for whatever reason -- doesn't require sharpshooting levels of accuracy, certainly not with automatic weapons. (With those, you just kind of squeeze the trigger and try to hold on while pretending the thing is a garden hose. I don’t like them; I like precision.) Killing just requires doing enough damage, and you can do that without being at all accurate. Marksmanship's about consistent accuracy, often under pressure. Which can have applications in killing things, and can make you better at killing things (ideally things that are legal to kill, of course) but that's not what it's about. I wish more people would realize that. And I wish the NRA would GTFO, but that’s an entirely different subject.

penig replied to your post “Do you know why some custom doors and arches doesn't work in apartment...”

Custom content that was made before AL came out doesn't update and confuses the already-confused apartment code. To reduce annoyance I tend to use Maxis doors and arches inside exclusively. Windows are no problem.

Good to know. :) I guess I never really noticed because I don’t build apartments all that often. Mostly because I think furnishing them is mind-numbingly boring. :) And even when I do build them, I mostly use Maxis interior doors, often add-ons like centered-on-two-tile versions of a Maxis door, but since those use Maxis coding, I’m guessing they don’t present a problem in this regard.

immerso-sims replied to your post “The feel-good song meme. :)”

Thanks. I tried searching for happy songs in my iTunes collection, but I realised I am a total sad/dark/melancholic/whatever songs lover, so I'll pass on the meme :D

HAH! :) But hey, if a sad/melancholy song makes you feel better, I suppose that actually counts as a feel-good song! :)

fuzzyspork replied to your post “Big long reply post about...lots of stuff”

I've had both the high witches (excluding the neutral one because they are apparently very anti-social) on a community lot at the same time several times. If a Sim interacts with whichever arrives first then when enough time passes the other witch will usually show up. I think they must have negative relationship by default, so I've seen them fight! Fisticuffs style though. This is where magic would have been awesome. :/

Really? I don’t think I’ve ever had more than one high witch on a community lot, even when I’ve had playable stay on them for multiple days at a time, like when I send them on a weekend camping trip or what-have-you. Maybe it’s because I pretty much never have Sims interact with the high witches, since I use other means to have Sims become witches? Maybe I should try interacting with them... Although if there’s just fisticuffs as opposed to zapping each other with magic, I suppose there’s not much point. Then it’s just yet another fight between non-playables.

[nikashepard]

So, after the endless porn blogs following my main account and the random people harrassing me using the public chat, tumblr decided to introduce an automatic NSFW marker on posts. That wouldn’t be a real problem if it actually worked as it should, because guess what it also marks as NSFW images where a character is simply shirtless or even fully clothed for no apparent reason. And although you are technically allowed to request another check because it’s clearly a mistake, nothing changes... like, the feature is useless (two months later and I can still see the NSFW mark on my photoset ffs).

Thing is, people said the posts reported as NSFW sometimes don’t even appear in the search, reason why I don’t think this issue should be ignored completely. It could seriously damage an artist’s visibility, especially if they just started posting on the site and couldn’t get enough reblogs in time.

Now I am also seeing my activity filled with random reblogs from accounts which only want to spam with links under my posts (bots maybe?), needless to say said links are irrelevant to the content I’m sharing.

And oh, can we talk about my broken theme? All text in full bold and I can’t seem to find a way to fix it.

Not sure what’s going on here, but tumblr should definitely fix this crap once and for all.

[mousedetective]

So I find myself in a rather…awkward…position in the Sherlock fandom at the moment. I still haven’t watched Series 4, even though I have the DVDs. And I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I’ve finally figured out why.

John Watson and the actor portraying him.

I will admit, I have not been a fan of Martin Freeman since around the time Elementary started and he made the comment about Lucy Liu. The comment he made that was essentially a rape joke during the Hobbit press tour sealed it. I don’t like his “sense of humor” no matter how good an actor he is. So that made watching series 3 very hard and it actually took me a year to do so.

(Side note: I also have not watched “The Abominable Bride. Yeah, I know.)

I had a very strong reaction to something that I see glossed over a lot, or have over the years, aside from in fanfiction, and that is John ignoring his pregnant wife for what was apparently months. Now, yes, I will totally say John had every right to request space or even request a divorce. But I flashbacked to my pregnancy with my son where his father abandoned me with no word for three months and only returned the day before I gave birth. It was not a pleasant experience and, aside from my mother and a few online friends, I went through the experience completely alone. So I have a very hard time dealing with that, even though I understand the circumstances.

While I have not watched series 4, I have been spoiled, and the texting storyline is something I just don’t want to put myself through for fear of another flashback. Throughout our relationship and my pregnancy, my son’s father cheated on my and no one told me until I was four months pregnant and my son’s father had manipulated me into ending a relationship I was in so he could leech off of me. I do not take cheating storylines lightly because of this, even if it’s just emotional cheating, but I take an especially dim view when the person who has been cheated on ends up never knowing.

I understand people like him and love Martin but I’m not a fan of either and that makes it hard for me to enjoy the show on a good day. Having Mary there helped, but I’m not sure I can stomach watching what John does in series 4 without having flashbacks to a time I still have trouble dealing with. And I hesitated saying this because lately it’s seemed there’s a very divisive pro-John/anti-John feeling in the fandom, and I haven’t seen enough to fully weigh in. But I know I’ve started to feel very not-so-well when I see series 4 pictures and gifs of John and photosets of Martin and I needed to say something because I may end up having to unfollow a ton of blogs as I am on mobile and blacklisting tags is not an option.

I’m honestly not sure what I’ll end up watching of series 4. I went through a lot of therapy in the last fourteen years to deal with the damage that particular ex caused me and I don’t want it undone by a show when I have no way to repair the damage. I mean, for all I know I may end up having to leave the fandom on Tumblr because it’s making other things worse (like the anxiety I have over my son’s adoption, when he legally changes his last name to mine and my mother’s and will no longer have his father’s last name…the ex will go apeshit over that, I bet). So I don’t know. But I needed to get this out there at least so my followers might understand if I stop following them.