#and like regarding boundaries
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twitter is fighting over parrot boundaries rn and i think it's the funniest thing ever because. sorry guys i think wifies might be the biggest parfies shipper what are you all going to do about that one like. show wifies that damned google doc?
#for legal reasons this is a joke#sketchy.txt#discourse#sort of#i guess like#addendum:#i personally barely engage with shipping as a whole#BUT i also don't gaf about people who do#as long as they're keeping it out of main tags and tagging it properly#and like regarding boundaries#don't spread around unreliable information#just...... fucking ask wifies or some shit like#idk#anyways peace and love on planet parfies
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Alhaitham referring to kaveh in ways which acknowledge his skill, and kaveh perceiving it as sarcasm, even though alhaitham refers to kaveh in the same ways when kaveh isnāt present is driving me a little bit insane - especially what this prompts the player to question!!
When we first meet kaveh in the archon quest the relationship between him and alhaitham is presented to us as āterribleā (courtesy of npc geoff who introduces kavehās return to sumeru city), and the cutscene in the house of daena demonstrates what this entails, being that the two cannot see eye to eye, and, seemingly donāt hold each other in high regard.
Alhaitham seemingly refers to kavehās genius in a sarcastic light and kaveh claims to despise talking to alhaitham because of his arrogance.
Looking to kavehās hangout, however, when the player has a one-on-one with alhaitham, the player gets a glimpse into alhaithamās personal understanding of kaveh, and with this, his own views on kaveh.
Within this exchange between him and the player, Alhaitham uses Kavehās title without sarcasm, sincerely praising him and his skills, elevating him over āless skilledā architects and asserting that Kaveh should have more confidence in his work.

The reason that Alhaitham does not openly praise Kaveh is stated here, being that āadmonitionsā will serve no purpose due to people being prone to fall into āsimilar pitfallsā, and that people should have the right to lead their own life, rather than have it interfered upon by others
The reading here is that even if Alhaitham did openly praise Kaveh, no difference would be made in Kavehās thinking. Yet, by refraining from praise, and instead goading, by this logic, this also makes no difference. Therefore, the question is raised, āwhy can Alhaitham praise Kaveh to the player, and not to Kaveh himself?ā
When Alhaitham praises Kavehās work within Kavehās hangout it is through there being no record of issues in the reconstruction of port ormos, which is something kaveh states first - in this context, alhaitham notes the work as an āimpressive achievementā, which kaveh assents to, as there is no standing in which this can be debated. Kaveh cannot resent a compliment steeped in fact, even from alhaitham
The problem, then, is rooted in alhaithamās delivery, which relates to their core issue of miscommunication. Referring back to their exchange in the House of Daena, it is observed that Alhaitham uses similar descriptors of Kaveh to Kaveh, similar to the descriptors he uses to the Traveler in Kavehās hangout, however, Kaveh perceives these words as sarcasm.
This highlights the miscommunication between them and can aid in answering the question why Alhaitham cannot be open with Kaveh, as he will be misconstrued.

āThrough Alhaithamās repeated elusions to Kaveh when he is not present and his open esteem of Kaveh and his work to the Traveler, Kavehās assertion that Alhaitham holds him in a negative light is proved incorrect. This serves to highlight the miscommunication between the two, causing the player to question why they hold such contrasting views of the other.
Clearly, there is a reason why Alhaitham cannot openly express his regard of Kaveh to Kaveh, but this reason is obscure to both kaveh and the player.
In terms of queer subtext itās pretty interesting that alhaithamās high regard for kaveh is shown within the surface text and yet the reason for this secrecy is never made explicit within the storyās surface and is only to be inferred from alhaithamās and kavehās character stories.
In terms of the two functioning as mirrors, the fact that the knowledge that alhaitham cannot outright compliment kaveh 1) is not only due to their past argument and lost friendship and 2) is also due to his awareness that kaveh cannot accept goodwill, is only obtainable by reading both kaveh and alhaithamās character stories shows how intertwined they are as characters - you cannot fully understand one without the other
(Update: For more analyses like this, the essay this is taken from is now uploaded! It can be accessed here and here as as a pdf <3)
#haikaveh#kavehtham#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#okay i think my thoughts got derailed in the end but pretend they didnt#some of this is from the essay and you can probably tell because of writing quality#but i think it is so interesting that what alhaitham chooses to share with the player clearly highlights his regard and respect for kaveh#but his reason for hiding it from kaveh has to be inferred by digging into their lore#and when you realise that alhaitham doesnt want to cause a repeat of their past argument by encroaching on kavehās fortified boundaries#it only shows how MUCH alhaitham cares about him#im sick!!!#they make me sick!!!#and also that part in kavehās hangout when kaveh says heās so used to sarcasm he cant tell what genuine praise sounds like#my boys#you need to talk#I AM BEGGING!!!!
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do you ever think about how Ohkubo extremely casually dropped the fact that Spirit & Kami were teen parents & then proceeded to never expound upon that fact or bring it up ever again despite it explaining a whole lot about them & Maka
#I think a big part of why I'm so attached to/interested in spirit as a character is because he objectively has A LOT going on in his life.#but because he was created to fill that stock pervy comedic-relief anime side-character archetype we never get to see any of it examined.#or even brought up at all for the most part#like spirit apparently comes from a long line of death weapons who despite having been loyal to lord death for generations are never ever#mentioned & who spirit himself never mentions despite carrying on the family tradition (although he's not unique in that regard tbh)#at 12-13 years old he becomes stein's weapon partner & in his own words it became ā[spirit's] job to control [stein].ā#another kid with a laundry list of mental health & behavioral issues that spirit probably wasn't super prepared to help ācontrolā#(personally I think that this ājobā of spirit's was a duty he took upon himself rather than something lord death necessarily told him to do)#then just ~5 years later he 1) loses/rejects said weapon partner & probably best friend after some really major boundaries were crossed#2) becomes a husband & father at just 18#(& in his own words a broke 18 year old at that. another point towards him not being in contact with any family if they're even alive)#3) becomes technically one of the most important people in the world once he ascends to being a death weapon.#not necessarily in that exact order but certainly in quick succession.#& then we fast forward to canon & spirit's at best a guy who drinks way more than he probably should & at worst a functioning alcoholic#who's only A MONTH into being divorced for his habitual infidelity & is in the really weird position of being the primary caretaker of his#daughter who (rightfully) hates him despite him having zero custodial rights over her.#& imo he seems to have no friends in death city before stein & the other death scythes return despite generally being a people person.#like. spirit is kind of the epitome of should've been at the club lmao#soul eater#spirit albarn#kami albarn#meta (kind of. not really lol)
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There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.
#I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING RN in the context of this alternate universe these posts live in. that makes me evil rn. I may not even keep#the post up. but I Needed to complain about these bc I hate seeing them#really funny and good because it very much feeds into that part of the brain where you go wait am I stupid? am I horrible? am I annoying?#before you express any kind of personal feelings. from feeling insecure alll the way down the spectrum to feeling like your life is over#before anyone How Dare You Say We Piss On The Poor-s at me YES there is a nuanced version of this#which is. you can make someone feel like shit (A Fellow Sufferer Of The Mental Eelnesses) by using them as your dumping ground#in excess and usually with no regard for how they feel and without Regular conversations inbetween#and in a one-sided way where they can't do the same and complain with you as a sounding board in return#don't tell new friends you hardly know abt THE MOST personal shit you can possibly think of. there are steps being skipped here#right? we know this. we all know it. setting a boundary is a thing. overwhelming a person is a thing#on the other hand there is such a thing as a friend who IS okay to listen and wants to help. and friends who relate.#maybe talking abt personal stuff makes ppl feel closer sometimes. just a thought! maybe not everything is Emotional Labor. maybe just maybe#but like come on. these are almost intentionally unhelpful posts#long post
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I've seen some individuals say Eigong was obsessed with immortality from the beginning, and while I understand the reasoning behind it I think it really undermines her character. She's not...obsessed at the very start, as shown by this log:
She has a dream like any other individual, but it's colored by how many people are relying on her in this moment. Failure isn't an option, and we can see how that mindset is what carries her into accepting immortality with how she literally spends centuries trying to rectify her biggest mistake (Tianhuo).
It's also really painful, then, to see her breaking down and questioning why they were even researching immortality in the first place...she forgot what she was doing all those years ago. Hoagh...Eigong the woman you are [gunshot]
#nine sols#nine sols spoilers#eigong#mew rambles#i kinda wonder if women in media are more likely to be viewed in extremes with regards to dreams and obsessions#and the boundaries placed between the two#but that's neither here nor there#i do wanna make a larger analysis on eigong and her relationship to immortality but uh#i am shy so for now...here is just a thought
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Every time I watch one of RY's events and see the way she talks about the book my hopes dim a little because The Empyrean has an interesting premise, but I disagree with the execution on such a fundamental level that it's painful.
RY said that by the end of OS the world will expand in a way that will blow our minds and I really hope it does, on the other hand, she also said Violet only has one goal in this book and we can guess it's about Xaden, unfortunately, I don't particularly care about him (I really tried).
Not my book not my monkeys tho, I'll be here drawing the sorrengails regardless
#anyway I needed to get this off my chest before onyx storm#this been sitting in my drafts for a couple months#the points where I disagree with the execution can be summed up in#the miscommunication and the way she compares X to a CIA agent when in the text violet only seems to care about the secrets regarding her#the xaden/cat/violet situation and how she claimed it was about power but made it about xaden#how she made the assembly and the revolution look like a bunch of incompetent adults running around without a plan#the way she keeps joking about xaden reading violet even after establishing it was an overstep on boundaries#the goddam magic system#fourth wing#iron flame#the empyrean#onyx storm
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Hey, I just found a weird box that says "Don't touch -Youngpleasant" And I looked in it to see some really gross stuff
hey can we not say this about the singular underage character of mine
#this is like one of the few boundaries i have regarding suggestive stuff of my characters#ooc unpleasant
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Post: gender identity is complicated and everyone has their own unique relationship with it. Presentation does not equal gender and not everyone likes strict labels!
Me: Yeah! True! This is great so far please don't turn this into-
Post: I will now use this as an excuse to obsessively list every possible way in which a lesbian ends up with a man. I will equate butches and gnc women to men, completely missing my own point when I said presentation doesn't equal gender. Also being transmasc is always the same as being male aligned btw. I'm going to find a way to fit dissociative identity disorder into this for some reason. I'm also going to be really condescending and talk like no lesbian has ever understood the concept of gender noncomformity, ambiguity and complex relationships to gender. No, I never talk this way about gay men and nblm why do you ask
#it's like. idk. for a certain niche group of people ''complex gender identity'' just means ''maleness included''#yeah nonbinary bigender and genderfluid people can be lesbians obviously and a lot of relationship nuance will depend...#... on the specific people involved. But also gender can be complex and nuanced and strange without involving maleness#why does non standard gender expression always seem to mean proximity to manhood for a certain group of people and why are they obsessed...#with attaching lesbians to men but never the inverse?#also do we forget that unaligned people exist. Like did we forget there are people who are attached to neither#or do we just have 4 genders now. boy girl nb(boy) and nb(girl)#really frustrating to genuinely consider no longer calling myself transmasc bc people point and go MAN! BOY!#even though part of the reason the terms transmasc and transfem exist as terms is to cover folks transitioning in a specific direction...#...without necessarily being the opposing binary gender#like idk. you can be cool with complex gender without also being gross towards lesbians who set reasonable boundaries regarding men#yes including trans men#Obligatory disclaimer this is a specific niche kind of post no I don't think everyone talking about nonstandard gender expression is doing.#... secret anti-lesbian dogwhistle posting there's just a specific brand of weirdo who are always strange about this
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holy smokes have u ever read orv
only ever read orb
(no what is that)
#if im real I don't really read dsmp fanfic cause im wary of people being uhhh about it.#cause i know where my boundaries are regarding creators and know it's more in the minority in certain areas#but like. if someone recs something or I trust that creator ill go for it#and shot in the dark but#ask#wlwdwtys ask#something to nom on
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Itās time to make more gifts for simply everyone
#I just finished my crochet beaded lizard!!! pictures maybe sometime soon!#but obviously Iām riding the high and feeling quite inspired#I would say Iām surrounded a bit by people who would not be gifting me things in turn#I guess I donāt know how to say this but I donāt have any desire right now for boundaries or something like that#like perhaps these people donāt care about me one way or another but I want them to have these things from me. and I wanna make them these#I know theyāll appreciate it even if they donāt appreciate me? is what Iām trying to say?#that sounds terrible I think but I donāt find myself caring#I kinda wanna give of myself endlessly with no regard I donāt really care anymore right now#p
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oh i think i figured out how to articulate something???
#posting this in faith that if anybody i know in real life sees this to please not acknowledge it or think about it too deeply#but it is weird having only two very very close long time friends and both are in relationships#and i am very aroace and sex/romance repulsed at that#but i also do really wish for platonic affection like being able to hug or lean on friends very simple things like that#but also touch is weird for me and i never really learned how to not feel gross about it etc#so it is not like i ever would have asked anyways#but it is harder when both are in relationships because people generally get physical affection from their partners#so if i ask āāhey is it okay if i lean/hugāā it feels like this massive overstep of boundaries#so it feels like people i know get to have the benefit of friendship and partners and have everything met in that regard#and i probably never will get comfortable with platonic physical affection because its just not really an option#and obviously i have zero desire to seek out new people#so it just kind of leaves me like š§#even if people do initiate like a hug or something i never return it because it feels like i am not allowed#which is my own hang up and always has been since forever#i never got used to physical contact because it wasnāt really for me when i was a kid except for when i was being forced to hug a family#member as greetings and whatnot#anyways these are just some very late night weird thoughts that might be insane mostly i am curious if any other aroace people deal with#this. and i assume the answer is probably because this is the life is a nightmare identity#(half joking the freedom of it is a very nice aspect)#anyways like i said i have always been super weird about touch and i never in a million years would have asked for it or#actively seeked it out anyways#it is just especially weird now due to an additional circumstance
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Just finished The Familiar and it was very fun! Definitely captured my imagination and I adore Leigh Bardugoās historical and modern fantasies. She does such a great job of evoking those themes of injustice and the grey morality of being locked in systems and corrupt power structures. Iāll probably talk more on this later but if youāre a fan of her work (especially the Alex Stern series) Iād give it a read.
#the familiar#leigh bardugo#it was just fun and fantastical and I wanted to learn more about the world#the romance was sweet and pretty believable although I wish the book was longer so that it could have felt more natural in its weight#the whole āwe are like and understand each otherā makes up for the difference though#I liked how Luzia and Santangel were their own characters in their own right and not just clones of other LB characters#that made it very fun#I especially loved Luzia particular brand of morbid and cynical humor#I said Iād say all this later and now Iām in the tags whoops#I do wonder if Iām missing some allusions though specifically the orange groove references#loved the varieties of greed and ambition and the similar vibe I got from kamet in thick as thieves regarding the honor and code of the#peasant class#the sort of forgiveness for being screwed over as wouldnāt you do the same#or the refusal to owe favors and the like#hualit was super interesting as a character#I loved her I hated her I think both are good options#I liked how LB played with the pov and the omniscient narrator connecting the threads and the sort of without time without boundaries world#of stories the world seemed to inhabit#myth.txt#book talk
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Figured out how to word my thoughts on the "DNIs don't work" argument. Like... obviously yes they don't always work 100% of the time, I'd say quite literally nothing does. In regards to stuff like "DNI if you're racist" or whatever I'd very much guess literally no one ever goes "Oh no I'm racist :(" because they can't even fathom their behaviour is a bad thing anyway
But like, about other things that aren't parts of the (fairly nebulous) "general criteria" people set forth, they absolutely can have some use. After that, if they don't work... Well, that's fine? A DNI is just your step one, your sign on the fence. The block button still exists. A DNI has never MEANT to completely replace it. If you expect to completely avoid ever dealing with this or that using one that's just not what you're going to get
#Like if you ask me a DNI is just like a matter of convenience and a simple way to set more specific-to-you boundaries#It can literally be as simple as something regarding ships you don't vibe with or whatever. A little list or banner or whatever is like#Not just for you but also possibly a courtesy to any random user who would go ''Oh no I shouldn't be here''#^ Assuming the specific matter is actually a smaller thing and not about something that's awful#Bleu.txt#Very weird ramble sorry this site is just really polarised and acts like everything either MUST work a certain way or is totally pointless
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being just Slightly 'more' autistic than the average tumblr user is fucking hard actually
#i constantly feel like i'm sitting Just outside the circle of understanding in any situation i'm in#and on tumblr it's easier bc most of us are autistic#but everyone seems to be pretty 'high functioning' too#to the point everyone has an expectation of understanding amongst their followers and mutuals even when they maybe shouldn't#so the fact i don't understand things everyone else does#or don't understand certain etiquettes that everyone else does makes being on this website (or anywhere in the world) super fucking hard#this is also why i don't talk to people very often; i'm either rejected and not responded to outright or i will be eventually#bc i'll say something stupid that i don't realize is not polite to say bc in other places it's fine to say or something similar#i don't try to be this way (not understanding the boundaries of others)...it just happens and idk how to improve upon it#i feel like i'm already doing my very best in that regard#but it's obviously still not good enough bc i keep fucking up#(also i hate the terms 'high functioning' and 'more autistic' which is why they're in quotations#bc i just didn't have a better term to use that equally got my point across)#txt
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When will the great return post be posted, feel like we have to make an event
oh itās posted
also after this i wonāt be answering any asks about my nsfw blog here because i donāt want to get flagged so any asks about it will be ignored š¤
#might share photos from that blog to here or my 2nd account#and like comments regarding those posts are okay of course#but general discussions are off the table#please respect my boundaries or i will block you šš»š¤
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(( When I tell you I could make a 9 hour long film documentary about all the weird ass ways I walk when in a HABIT kinshift, I mean I could make a full ass 9 hour long film documentary about all the weird ass ways I walk when in a HABIT kinshift. *cue up "Pretty Girls Walk," and imagine various ways of "bitch- what the fuck are you doing with your spine/arms/legs/head/other body part"* ))
#REGARDS: MOD š š#not asks#mod is talking about kin shit#mod is rambling#mod is being a little silly#HABIT kin#emh kin#i wish i could say i was fucking joking lol-#i don't know why it's one of the things i noticed but my GAIT. the way i fucking WALK gets so randomly affected.#it's funny but at the same time it's like: bitch why-#it could be completely unrelated. but it tends to happen when HABIT shifts happen. so.#*shrug* š¤·āāļø#I'm exaggerating with ā9 hoursā but I could still get a fuck ton of weird walk footage lol#it's like the shift happens and then my brain goes āalright! time to test the boundaries of this flesh and bone structure!ā#also i just in general get more āyknow what? fuck comfort zones-ā#and get highly impulsive#āall the pretty girls walk like thisā thing on fucking repeat
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