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xenetala · 4 years

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Piofiore: Fated Memories Review

I’ll keep this as spoiler free as possible, but with this game that may be a bit difficult. This is just my thoughts on the game and its quality. This game overall is really well done and if you are familiar with Amnesia Memories, you’ll really enjoy this one.

There are a few things I’d like to give people a heads up on in this one. First, this is a game about the Mafia. While it should be obvious, many people who play otome games may not realize this isn’t like the sweet games such as Kissed by the Baddest Bidder. Please do not play this game if you are sensitive to blood, gore, death, rape, drug abuse, psychological abuse, torture, violence, general crime, and other such themes. While you can play the best routes and avoid too much of this, you will be exposed to some pretty gruesome and brutal things in this game.

The second thing I’d like to give a heads up on is you have to play the routes in a semi set order to unlock things. By this I mean you don’t get to completely choose who you play at first. While this by no means makes the game bad, it’s something to think about before playing. You may not get to choose your favorite boy right off.

If you do play this, I have a recommended play route. I recommend this based on the lore of the world. That’s not to say you have to play this order, but I think it’ll give a better feel for the world.

While you can start with either Dante or Nicola, I’d recommend playing through Dante’s route first and follow his route with Orlock. While Yang is my absolute favorite boy by far, I recommend playing Nicola before Yang. Gilbert’s route you can’t play until you’ve played the other 4 so Dante > Orlock > Nicola > Yang is my recommended order, but Dante > Nicola > Orlock > Yang isn’t a bad order either.

Overall Story

This is a really good story. There’s a lot of absolutely lovable characters in it and I wish there were more routes. I also wish the stories were longer just because of how good the characters are. Even the supporting characters are great. The setting is in Italy during the 1920′s. There are a few references to world events around that time such as World War I, the depression, American prohibition, and several other things that happened around the world.

The game takes a lot of the terms and historical things and puts them in a nice handy dictionary in case the audience isn’t familiar with them. Personally I find all of the references common knowledge, but then I’m also a history buff so that may not be the case.

As far as the plot goes, the basis is you play an MC who grew up in a church in a small mafia run city. Depending on the route, the MC gets captured or rescued by one of the three mafia groups and ends up in their care as a guest. The three groups are the Italian based Falzone, the mixed heritage Visconti, and the Chinese based Lao-Shu.

Each route has a different part of the story and history of the world and the town as well as a different perspective. Some of the routes are more peaceful while others not so much. In all of them, the MC is one I consistently like. Despite being brought up in a quasi Roman Catholic based belief system, she’s quite down to Earth and many times stands up to the mafia so that earns her many points in my book.

The one thing in this game that I feel is a big missed opportunity is the character Roberto De Feo. I would have loved to see him as an option in this game. Especially after playing all of the routes including the hidden one, I feel like he would have made a nice addition to the story.

Characters

This game has a really good set of characters and even the supporting characters are good so I’m going to go over quite a few people in this. I’ll break these down by factions to help keep things orderly. Each character does have a best, good, and tragic ending. Some of them are really good, but the tragic ones to be pretty brutal to play.

Also, a fun note in the CGs you can press a button to hear the character’s comments on the scene.

Falzone Family

Dante Falzone - This is the first route I recommend playing. He’s kind of the ‘canon’ route in this and goes over a lot of the lore of the world. It can get a bit overwhelming to keep up with all of the mythology of the game, but you will need that information for later routes.

He’s introduced as the cold and cruel boss of the Falzone, but in reality he’s more of the slightly cold gentleman. While he can be cruel as evidenced in a torture scene, he’s really very sweet and you see much more of his caring side as the story progresses. I’m not a fan of his route as it is way sweeter than I’d like for a mafia boss, but it is the most romantic one.

In this route the MC spends most of her time confined with Dante and is more of a prisoner than a guest in my opinion. She’s not allowed to roam free much and is quite dependent on Dante. There is a lot of violence in this route and is one of the more gruesome ones in a few places. I actually like his good ending better than the best ending. His tragic end is really sad so beware. It’s not as brutal as others, but it’ll tug your heartstrings. Death can bring more peace than life.

Leo Cavagnis - While not a love interest, Leo is an adorable character. He’s assigned as the MC’s body guard in anything related to the Falzone family. I would like to have seen him as a romance option just because it’d be nice to have a choice other than only higher ranking mafia members, but even without him being an option he’s a fun character in all of the routes.

Nicola Francesca - He is the underboss for the Falzone family and is Dante’s cousin. I liked his route much more than I thought I would and he is more what you’d expect for a mafia themed game. It is mentioned in all routes a few times that Nicola is more suited to being the boss than the underboss, and I agree with this.

Nicola is presented as a playboy, but though he’s flirty he’s not really a playboy. He has a lot of charisma and appears nice, but there is a cruel side to him. This is showcased in how he treats his men and in a torture scene. His route has almost none of the lore and is refreshing in that fact.

The MC is still more of prisoner in this one, but she’s not as dependent on Nicola. Even though I’d say Nicola is more ruthless than Dante, this route is actually one of the less violent ones. I will warn that his route is predictable and not quite as exciting to play as far as plot twists and such. Despite that, this is a fun route and the MC gets to showcase a bit more strength than in some of the others.

He is really tied to his idea of trying to free Dante from the curse of his blood and duties so Nicola often acts brashly and without really trying to understand others. This makes him quite focused on his own goals. His best ending is a great ending and for sure deserves to be called the best ending. I don’t really care for his good ending as much. While not sad, he’s too much of a mafia boss for the good ending to really fit him. His tragic ending is a work of art.

Giulia Ceste - She is the motherly housekeeper of the Falzone and takes care of the MC a lot when in the company of the Falzone family. While not a big character, she does help create some humor in the routes and is always a welcome addition when things get really serious.

The Church

Just a few notes on this ‘faction’. This group plays different roles in each route and doesn’t really follow a branch of the Christian religions. Even though the set up is implied to be the Roman Catholic branch, the lore behind this church isn’t really clear on things. There’s a relic mentioned and that relic is given all sorts of explanations as to what it is, but in reality very little of this game really follows any specific branch. So, if you find yourself confused on this group that’s normal.

Josef von Rosburg - Josef is a bishop for the church and has varying roles depending on the route you play. For the most part he’s reasonably pious and does things on behalf of what he believes to be the best for the church. Although, as the saying goes the road to hell is paved with the best of intentions.

Orlock - This boy is all cinnamon roll and I did not like his route until I played all endings. Part of the problem I have with his route is he’s so naïve and innocent that he comes off as childlike. After seeing him in some of the other routes I’d had the expectation that he’d be more of a cold hearted assassin than he is.

That I think colored my perceptions too much to fully enjoy this route and is partly why I recommend him as the second one you play. He is a disciple which basically just means he’s an assassin for the church.

He is absolutely devoted to the MC to the point of basically worshiping her and can see no fault in anything she does. This route is one of the more violent ones and uncovers more of the lore of the world. Orlock feels much younger than the MC because of his innocence despite being able to kill just about anyone.

The good route I liked a lot more than the best route in this one and that’s partly because he didn’t feel as much like a child in that end. The tragic route though changed my mind about his story a bit though. I love his tragic route. It is brutal and merciless, but you see him as an adult and not like a child. Plus, I’m a sucker for a good gut wrenching tragedy that just makes you question why you’d put yourself through the torture of reading it.

Elena Croce - This girl is the MCs best friend and someone she grew up with in the church. Her role varies depending on the route, but she’s generally a quite girl and is good at cooking.

Sister Sofia - She is one of the sisters in the church and is the mother figure of the story. She knows MC’s history and why she’s so important, but keeps things secret from her to prevent her from carrying a heavy burden.

Oliver Haas - Sadly this is another one that doesn’t have a romance option. Oliver is the Visconti family lawyer and helps smooth things over when members of the family get arrested. He is very strict and is often reprimanding Gilbert for things. It would be interesting to see the story from his perspective for sure.

Visconti Family

Gilbert Redford - He is the leader of the Visconti family and was born in Chicago. Gilbert has ties to the US and the mafia in Chicago. Unlike the Falzone family, he had to earn his way to the boss of the faction and wasn’t passed to him through blood ties.

This route is the most peaceful route. Though Gilbert is mafia, he is a businessman first and foremost. In his story the MC has a lot more freedom as she leaves the manor and tours sections of the city with Gilbert. Much of the MC’s time with him is more like being on dates.

Even though this route is far less violent than the others and softer in many respects, this one has more intrigue. Gilbert is the type that fights with strategy more than with violence so there’s a lot of intelligence gathering and plotting.

Basically the premise is that Gilbert is being framed for a crime and everyone is trying to clear his name. Due to the nature of the crime, it affects all of the families and even Yang is willing to help out Gilbert through this ordeal. The whole story is really a build up to the big finale of the case and you get to see aspects of all the characters in a very different light.

I really like his endings. All of them fit the story and are beautifully done. One of the things I like most about Gilbert’s story is everyone sticks together and helps out.

Lan - She is one of the twins that is assigned as the MC’s guard when in company with the Laou-Shu. This girl is absolutely adorable and creates a lot of fun moments. As cute and sweet as she is, she is also very strong and will kill someone without a second thought.

Laou-Shu

Yang - He is by far my favorite of all the characters. Yang is highly intelligent and very skilled in combat. This is show cased by the fact that he is bored without intrigue or other shenanigans to provide him amusement. The MC in this route is one of the more interesting ones in my opinion. Her intelligence really shines through in this one because in order to survive Yang she has to think on her feet a lot.

One of the things I really liked about this route is there were more fun scenes in it. While Yang’s route is by far the most brutal and violent, there are points that are just good fun and provide some of that cute romantic mishap stuff we all kind of want in these games.

The Laou-Shu is a different type of mafia group from the others and this story is in opposition to the lore of the world. Pretty much everyone gets killed and there’s a lot of misfortune in Yang’s route. He is a violent person who grew up under less than ideal circumstances. The MC is gets involved in the goings on with the Laou-Shu and is brought to some pretty grisly things.

I’ve seen quite a few people compare Yang’s personality to that of Hisoka from the anime Hunter x Hunter and I agree that they have similarities. Both live for the moment and share the bloodlust from a good battle with a strong opponent. He is also a master manipulator and very good at twisting words to get exactly what he wants. His best and tragic endings are simply gorgeous, but his good ending isn’t as fun. It’s not a badly done ending, but I would have liked them both to die in it.

Fei - He is the other of the twins that guard the MC when in the company of the Laou-Shu. He’s very protective of his sister and is the calming force for her. Just like Lan, as adorable as he is he can and will kill someone without a second thought.

Marco Caldroni - He is the other detective that comes into the game and is more often than not trying to keep Roberto in check. Marco is more okay with letting the mafia deal with things than his partner is and tends to either stay out of the way or help in cases where civilians are in danger.

Police

Roberto De Feo - This guy grows on you as you play the game. At first I really didn’t like him and especially so after playing Nicola’s route, but they really should have given him an option. I’d rather have been able to play Roberto than Orlock. Roberto is a newer detective with the police force and has a very strong idea of what justice is. He does not like that the town is overrun with mafia and that the mafia controls everything. This guy tends to pop up and pick fights with some of the mafia members.

Others

??? - This is a hidden route that is only unlocked after you’ve played through all of the others. You learn a lot more about the lore of the world and the MC is pretty much on her own in this route. I found this route very boring and the person you romance in this is too haunted by the past for me to really enjoy them.

As much as I love a good redemption story or even a good tragedy, this route is so boring. I would much rather have this be a totally different character’s route. While I get this person’s story helps fill in the gaps from Gilbert’s route, this gentleman is one of those revenge is everything types and I’m just not onboard with him. The endings are a peaceful kind of harem ending for the best ending and I don’t mind that one too much. There is a romance ending and I just don’t care for this character enough.

I get wanting revenge, but I find the all consuming revenge to the point of self-destruction and destruction of everything you hold dear just stupid. That’s how this romance goes. Reminds me a lot of the Sasuke and Sakura stuff from the anime Naruto.

#piofiore fated memories #piofiore #dante falzone #nicola francesca #orlock #yang #gilbert redfort #henri #otome #otome game #otome game review #game review #nintendo switch #romance game #dating sim

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clovis-enthusiast · 5 years

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Little thought about The Tyrant’s Tomb. [SPOILERS!!!!]

oKAY, so I’m gonna start off by saying that, as usual, Rick Riordan’s writing style never fails to impress and draw me in to keep reading and not stop until I’ve devoured every last word. I was DESPERATE to read this book because it took me longer to get it than usual, and I was trying to go into it spoiler free (aside from reading the snippets that Uncle Rick posted on his Twitter every now and then.) I pretty much managed to do so, and it made the experience that much more emotional for me. I went into The Burning Maze KNOWING that Jason was going to die, but I had absolutely no idea what I’d be facing in this book.

Camp Jupiter

I’m just gonna flat out say it; I was never really all that interested in Camp Jupiter in the beginning. I didn’t like the majority of the characters (aside from Dakota who is my legal son) and the camp structure (though accurate to the Romans) seemed too strict and harsh to me. The ranking systems confused me, and it all in all just did not appeal to me the way Camp Half-Blood does. However, the more I read, the more attached I grew, and although I still MUCH prefer Camp Half-Blood and would choose it in a heartbeat when choosing between the two camps, it still became an interesting place to read about. I ADORE the idea of New Rome and the sharp contrast of silly demigods like the fifth cohort vs. the strict rules and upbringing of the camp.

When Jason died in The Burning Maze and the next book was set to take place surrounding Camp Jupiter, I grew excited. I REALLY wanted to meet more of the demigods of the Roman camp and explore them more (mostly Dakota but I digress.) Although I knew reading about everyone’s reactions to Jason’s death would be hard, I fought through it and was somewhat surprised by the lack of grieving that was presented. I mean, the ENTIRE first few chapters were ALL about Jason’s coffin and Lester and Meg grieving and trying their best to get it to camp but when it actually got there there really wasn’t that much of an uproar. At first I thought that was strange but looking back at it the Romans are brought up to be strong and not let emotions take over them, and people like Hazel have to show absolute strength. Besides the camp was already in mourning over DOZENS of other campers at the time.

That was another thing that sort of bugged me. I was absolutely ITCHING to meet some new characters and granted I got a few, but the majority of the ‘newer’ characters had already been killed and served only as the undead army.

THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP. It was one thing that I think Rick did a really good job with in upping the deep and darkness of the Riordanverse series. Can you imagine fighting your undead comrades and friends?? Like holy shit, that was emotional. I was super worried I spoiled something for myself on Istagram bc I read a post someone made about Jason trying to get the undead Romans to follow him instead or direct them away from camp, but I should have known it wasn’t true since he was literally burned.

Frank

Speaking of burning, I ACTUALLY thought Rick killed Frank off. Up until this book, I hadn’t really realized how much I loved this man. His character is just so well-written and likable and when he sacrificed the wood, I was like NOOOOOOOOO. I was SO grateful he came back in the end because I was sure Rick would never hear the end of THAT one if he allowed it to really happen. On the bright side, my baby boy can now enjoy his life with a little bit more vigor and less fear now that the stick is gone for good.

New Characters

Lavinia Asimov: Okay, Lavinia is a REALLLLLLLY weird character to me. She reminds me a lot of Lou Ellen to be honest, but for some reason, she doesn’t appeal to me as much as Lou Ellen does. (Maybe it’s just because I tend to prefer minor characters) Her rebelliousness seemed a little too... forced at times?? And her whole thing with the dryads and fauns was kinda weird too, but I guess since she likes Poison Ivy, it makes sense. However, she kinda did grow on me, I suppose, and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of her.

Poison Ivy: I REALLY wished we could have met her even just once. Lavinia would not shut up about her and was CONSTANTLY rebelling against the rules in camp just to see her, so I wanna know just what kind of a character she is. I’m sure she would have been very interesting and sassy to have been Lavinia’s love interest lol

Pranjal: He’s a good boy!!! Not quite sure how to pronounce his name properly, but his appearance is adorable and I LOVE the fact that he’s a son of Aesculapius because he’s one of my favorite gods soooo... I really wish we could have seen more of him!! He’s kinda like Clovis in the way that he has like one important part, gets mentioned like two times afterwards and then never again :^/

Aristophanes: he’s a cat,,, i love him,,,

Harpocrates: This was SO interesting and out of the blue to me having gone in spoiler free!! He’s earned a new spot up in my favorite gods list because of how interesting and mysterious he is. His concept was great and although i was sad to see him sacrificed, I hope that he and Sibyl are together wherever they are bc that was damn cute and made me so emotional afgkjldg why did Apollo have to be such a dick as a god,,,

New names with little to no info: Carl (Roman demigod,) Reza (Roman demigod,) Reginald (faun,) Felipe (faun,) Harold (faun,) Lotoya (dryad,) Buster (unicorn,) Muffin (unicorn,) Whagadoodle (unicorn,) Shirley (unicorn,) Horatio (unicorn,) One Eye (pegasus,) Small Ears (pegasus,) Boost (pandai,) Ida (Roman demigod,) Caelius (Roman demigod,) Thomas (Roman demigod,) Colum (Roman demigod,) and Terrel (Roman demigod)

Lester/Apollo

MY BOY HAS GROWN!!! He’s so human now, and I’m so proud. He doesn’t even second guess sacrificing himself or humiliating himself to save his friends. I just... I have a lot of feelings over his character development. Rick handles him SO well, and I just,,, I love him,,, i am,,, in love with him,, i would date lester papadopoulos

Meg

She’s grown to be such a doll!! I was SUPER annoyed by her in the first books, but now she’s my daughter. I love that she’s actually expressing emotions other than ‘annoying 12 year old’ now. Like I wanna protect her.

Reyna

She was a pretty good character in this book and her leaving the camp was a HUGE surprise to me. I kinda wish she was still praetor because idk Hazel just doesn’t rlly seem as fit for it as Reyna was, and I like Reyna a lot, but idk i guess it’s coolio. I was also glad Rick cleared up all the romance discourse about her too though the way he did it was kinda weird (she literally was using the word ‘ship’ out loud like wh-- and i don’t remember the venus thing at all so maybe i missed it from a different book? idk it came out of nowhere to me)

Ella and Tyson

I actually like Ella a lot now!! I used to find her quite annoying, and her relationship with Tyson felt forced, but now that I had the time to get used to her and figure out her character a little more, I do like her. She sort of treats Tyson weird, but I think towards the end, I fell for their relationship more. Tyson was literally excellent, show-stopping, breath-taking, amazing,,, like YESSS KING I LOVE YOU AND YOU PEANUT BUTTER-SMELLING SELF (that one scene where he just started dancing and apollo didn’t know if it was for the ritual or just bc he felt like it killed me)

Character Deaths

Dakota: I AM NEVER GOING TO GET OVER THIS ONE FOLKS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I HAD TO REREAD THE SAME SENTENCE TO MAKE SURE THAT I WASN’T HAVING A NIGHTMARE. I PHYSICALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THAT RICK KILLED HIM OFF. I’M STILL EMOTIONAL OVER IT, AND JUST AJSDHF;AMNJ ‘; NOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS THE SECOND SIBLING POLLUX HAS LOST IM GOING TO S C R E A M HE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND HE DESERVED BETTER DAMN IT I’M LITERALLY IN SHOCK LITERALLY DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE I’M STILL IN SHOCK FROM CREST’S DEATH IN THE LAST BOOK TBH AND NOW THIS??? NOW I’M SCARED CLOVIS IS GONNA DIE JSDKLFKS the only thing that gives me comfort is that Jason can be with his friend in Elysium now fuckkkk,,, rick why did you do this to me,,, I LITERALLY CANNOT EXPRESS HOW UPSET I AM I WILL N E V E R HEAL

Don: Don was sort of a comic relief character in SoN, and it was very sad to see him go. He reminded me a lot of Grover, and his death scene with Lavinia ACTUALLY made me tear up. THIS BOOK MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL GOD DAKOTA AND DON WERE LITERAL BABIES RICK GIVE THEM BACK

Bobby: listen,,, we never even met this kid rlly and i was still super sad when lavinia had to kill him again and hannibal is without him and just ughhh whyyy

Julia’s mother, father, AND foster parents: HOLY SHIT RICK WASN’T THAT KIND OF OVERKILL??? I felt so bad for the poor girl, especially cause she’s like six??? But it’s very sweet that Terminus adopted her. I really liked that.

Jacob: AAHHHAHA this one made me sad too!!!! he was such a minor character, but he reminded me of Damien White and Ethan Nakamura (if he were allowed to actually be a kid,) so I think that’s why I was sort of partial to him. The way he died was SUPER horrid too, so I just,,, im big sad for him (on a good hand, he went down F I G H T I N G)

Mentions of anything relating to Hypnos or his children

Yes, i am keeping track, sue me. Somnus was mentioned one time in this book as one of the gods Apollo briefly considered summoning to his aid, and it is presumed he has some sort of tribute at Camp Jupiter had he not before. You’ll make another appearance someday Clovis, I know it :’^D

Final Thoughts

I literally CANNOT wait for the next book (which I presume is the last one.) From what it seems, we’re returning to New York, so Camp Half-Blood will be present. I can’t wait to see my babes again, and I’m REALLY hoping more minor characters will be allowed to shine (cough clovis cough) but like i KNOW some will die and just,,, im sad,,, dakota’s death has wrecked me,,, but on the side note, the new book is coming out in my last year of school!!! i’m so excited because this series holds emotional value to me like i’ve literally gone through my high school career with trials of apollo like it was with me the whole time and it’s one of the only things that keeps me going. i just,,, i have no words to express how much this series and all the others mean to me...

thank you so much for keeping me going, uncle rick. i can’t wait to see how this all ends :^) <3

#my post #spoilers #the tyrants tomb #toa #mine #me #clovis-enthusiast

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livingasaghost · 4 years

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is this too personal? should it go on my private journal blog? maybe so. but i don’t fucking care.

listen i know to fall in love is like THE PEAK of the human experience (for some people, or at least that’s what the allo world has led me to believe) and i do in fact know it EXISTS like i know true love is real and it’s out there and people are living a fairytale where someone will stay married to you for like 30+ years and they will do ANYTHING you ask them too just bc they think you’re cool but like.........the fuck of it all is that i still believe romance isn’t meant for me

way back when i started this blog when i was but a dumb high school child i would always get pent up on line UGH ALAS NO ONE WILL LOVE ME I AM GROSS AND STUPID! (which like...valid) and i kept feeling shitty bc everyone was falling in love (none of those couples save the one shitty one survived that hellhole) and no boys would pay attention to me (me, a girl who stayed at home 90% of the time, did no extra curriculars outside of guitar lessons, and did not EVER interact with the boys in her classes unless forced to) and also i think i just hated myself (still valid sometimes) ...wait where was i going with this...OH YEAH i kept feeling sorry for myself bc NO ONE WOULD EVER LOVE ME and it felt like some huge travesty that no guy would ever tell me he thinks i’m special and beautiful and that he would do my laundry for me if i asked (the golden standard honestly). which like...in some ways, might be true. i do think true love is special and i think everyone deserves a shot at finding that, but i think it’s been cool to see my views on all this change over the past few years.

it’s not that i don’t believe in love. it’s not even that i believe i’m undeserving of it or that no man will ever find me attractive (bc honey i am GORGEOUS and i don’t CARE). like i think if i put myself out there and did try to go on dating apps or meet people at parties or go to bars i COULD do it. like i DID go on a date last year and that guy was VERY MUCH into me. and it was sweet. it was nice to have those nervous butterflies bc OMG WAIT YOU THINK IM CUTE??? NO WAY like yes that was nice! so clearly it can happen! it’s a thing! but like...i think i’ve become more exposed to that stuff and i’ve been in those situtations and i’ve realized that i am much more aroace than i thought. i still don’t think i’m aro, by any means, bc i genuinely love romance books (which means i like romance yes????? who’s to say) but like...man the idea of being IN A RELATIONSHIP...it’s weird man.

what’s odd is that up until like...2008/2009ish i don’t think i EVER was fantasizing about marriage/falling in love...at least not like that, not dramatically. i remember in 8th grade i went to oh lord it was a BIBLE STUDY OF ALL PLACES and the girls were like “so are you praying for your future husband????” and i was like uhhh what and then i SPIRALED SO HARD after that bc i was like FUCK I MIGHT HAVE A FUTURE HUSBAND!!! WOW!!!! A WEDDING IS SO PRETTY!!! I SHOULD HAVE THAT!! I GET TO HAVE THAT!! THE UNIVERSE/GOD OWES ME THAT!!!! I’M GONNA BE THAT!!!! and like the fuck of it all is that if i had never had that realization, had never seen bride wars or started a journal to my future husband (PLZ LAUGH BC IT’S THE SADDEST MOST HETERO THING I HAVE EVER DONE AND I HATE IT BUT I KEEP IT BC IT’S A JOURNAL OF THAT TIME OF MY LIFE) i don’t think i would have spiraled so much in high school fearing i’d end up alone. like sure when i started reading romance books i got sad too, but i don’t think i realized until that age that like...i was so invested in marriage? (yes we switched from love to married we’ll get to that - apparently it’s therapy time????) like i think i always assumed it’d happen for me bc doesn’t everyone get married and have kids? (my sweet summer child oh boy the brainwashing was deep) and it’s like.......fine. bc marriage is fine. love is fine and great whatever. (and i had a great marriage to learn from) but also...........all those expectations were pinned upon me when in actuality what i’m realizing now is that IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER!!!!!!

like i’ve been to a number of weddings now and i’ve seen friends get engaged, have breakups, fall headfirst in love and then fall out it just as quick, i’ve seen friends be single and have hook-ups and get married and have their heart broken and like....even though in my heart of hearts i know it’s worth it if you find it, i also know that i wouldn’t know how to handle it. like i’ve read books about it all, i’ve listened to the songs, hell i HAVE watched other people go through it all...but i still don’t know what mine would be. bc the fuck of it all is that 1) i rarely feel attraction to anyone, and i haven’t met someone i’ve been attracted to since 2010 (!!!!) 2) at the end of the day i don’t think i necessarily want a physical relationship (which is kind of half the reason people marry right?) and 3) i don’t think i can imagine myself being that intimate with another person.

is it possible? yes. maybe one day in another 10 years i’ll make another leap and i’ll be living somewhere like new york and i’ll meet some guy through a job or through travel or through some weird twist of fate and we DO hit it off and everything works out and suddenly i realize that i can only be comfortable with this ONE person and thus we take it slow and eventually get physical and get married and HOORAY ITS ALL FINE IM NORMAL and as it turns out the gut feeling i had at 16 was correct and i AM actually demisexual! could happen. i wouldn’t be totally shocked. but i also know that right now...it’s not a possibility. it would take a LOT for me to be in that place. and i think that’s the difference. ten years ago in high school i just assumed i was normal, i assumed if i got what i thought i wanted it’d all work out and be fine and i’d be happy bc I WAS IN LOVE. but the fuck of it all is that that first date i had? it was proof that you should be careful what you wish for. i don’t want a boy to kiss me. i don’t want a boy to hold my hand. i want someone to talk to, who likes what i like, who supports me and thinks i’m cool, who’ll buy me nice presents sometimes and see me for who i am and not run away. and honestly? i HAVE THAT. i have a few people like that actually.

what i realized was that what i ACTUALLY want, is for the butterfly feeling. that feeling you get where you’re like nervous bc the other person said they think you’re cute and they want to learn more about you and they’re interested in you and they SEE YOU and you feel the same way about them and you think they’re nice to look at and they think you’re nice to look at. that’s what i want. i want the butterflies. i want to be attracted to someone. i haven’t felt that in GOD so many FUCKING YEARS. i mean i feel that with fictional characters sure, but we all know that’s stupid and doesn’t count.

like i kid you not i’ve only been attracted to two (possibly 3, but i’m not counting the 3rd) people in my entire life. just two. (i don’t count the celebrities and characters and things although i guess if i did it’d be up to like 5-10 maybe) but like people i’ve met? two. that’s it. and it’s all so STUPID. bc it DOESN’T MATTER! like i feel weird being like LOVE ISN’T FOR ME I DON’T WANT IT! bc it feels like a lie and i do know i would like someone to fall in love with me. but genuinely, truly, i feel like a different person that the hopeless girl i was in 2010 bc...i don’t need it. i don’t know what i’d do with it. i don’t want someone to touch me.

the great thing about all this that i realized a long time ago is that this bitch is never going to have a bad heartbreak. and i know the saying better to have loved than never love at all.......but i do love. i love all the time so much that sometimes i can’t breathe. i just...don’t have that kind of love. and it’s okay. bc no one will EVER hurt me like that.

like i always said if i WAS going to fall in love it would happen ONCE like i will not be dating multiple people in my lifetime, hell i probably won’t even go on that many dates without finding THE PERSON bc in part i don’t put myself out there often, but mainly bc i KNOW people. i know myself, i know what i want, i have intuition about all that and i truly genuinely think that if i ever found it, it’d be that or nothing. bc i also think the person i’d be into would be similar. and i know people probably think that’s stupid and also there’s nothing wrong with dating a lot of people in your lifetime, in falling in love more than once, but like...i’m not that kind of person. i think part of me really does believe in soulmates, even if there is some level of free will in the world outside of determinism.

but because i feel like that, and bc of my very VERY private personality (who doesn’t let people in easily, who doesn’t care casually, who doesn’t give my heart away without protecting itself) i just don’t think i’d ever let myself...oh no here is a dark truth YIKES...i don’t think i’d ever let myself feel that deeply about someone.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well this is an interesting thought

which is the PERFECT start to a romance novel i might add

like i feel a LOT don’t get me wrong. i may repress my emotions but ya girl has a lot of passion a lot of love a lot of feelings for things. and i do love some people A LOT. like friends mainly. i love them SO MUCH (too much) and the ones who are STILL my friends...i have learned how to let them live their lives. i love them desperately, they inevitably let me down or move or fall in love (jesus christ it’s the worst) or whatever, and then things shift and i tell myself “hey you know what? it’s okay, you’re clearly no longer the most important thing in their life, so you can just pull back and not invest so much in them bc clearly they want to invest in other things and that’s okay!!” and then i move all my affection to someone else who DOES want it at that time, and thus i let people go bc i give them the space i assume they need and then the space gets to big and we can’t overcome it bc i don’t know what i’m supposed to fight or go back or try again or whatever and then they don’t fight for me (maybe bc i didn’t fight first, maybe bc they just stopped caring about me) and then suddenly...it’s over and i’m sad but i’ve put so much distance between us that i don’t really feel anything anymore. like oh my god what the fuck

literally my heart’s self-destruct protocol is that when i notice someone slipping away and stop caring about me i just assume the worst and immediately stop caring about them and then they can’t really hurt me. so the ones who HAVE hurt me are the ones who directly called me out and lied to me or did something bad. most of the people i drifted from who i once ADORED really only stopped being close to me because i thought they didn’t want me around anymore and i didn’t want to be annoying. (or bc i pushed them away bc i didn’t want them but that’s another thing) so like truly i think it would have to be someone being MEAN to me out of nowhere bc otherwise i’d just be like “it’s cool, we grew apart, i’ll get over it” (which i dont believe someone who really loved me would do) ahhhhhhhhhhhh

...

so anyway we all know this is hypothetical and obviously i wouldn’t know how i’d genuinely react if i fell in love but we also know that i WON’T fall in love in the next 5-10 years (prove me wrong by tyler joseph) but it’s fucking VALENTINES DAY WEEK and literally this happens every year bc i try and convince myself that HEY! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN LOVE DAMMIT! but then sometimes i think FUCK! I WANT TO BE IN LOVE DAMMIT! and it’s like honestly yeah mood....but they can coexist. i want to fall in love. i know i would not do well in a romantic relationship right now. i also know i deserve love, and i would be a great partner to someone. but i also know it’s all complicated and fucked up and difficult and i don’t meet people anyway and i wonder if my real partner is somewhere waiting in new york and and and and and and and i’m just so FUCKING SICK OF IT ALL!!!!!!! truly!!!!! i’m sick of feeling inadequate just bc i don’t want to kiss a boy. i’m sick of feeling obligated to fall into society’s romantic norms. i’m sick of waiting for someone to love me and treat me well when i have people who do that already. i’m sick of my friends falling in love, sick of people having their heart broke bc they fall for shitty people...i’m sick of shitty people breaking other people’s hearts for no reason. i’m sick of my awesome parents and their absolutely beautiful true love. i’m sick of being single. i’m sick of daydreaming about what it’d be like to be romantically attracted to someone. i’m sick of reading romance books and i’m sick of wishing i was in one. i’m sick of being asexual. i’m sick of allosexual people. i’m sick of watching people make out. i’m sick of my friends falling in love and then treating their friends like shit just bc they only care about their significant other. i’m sick of VALENTINES DAY!!! i’m sick of weddings!!!! i’m sick of conventional hetero norms!!!! i’m sick of love songs and dating apps and feeling like my worth is tied to someone loving me romantically. i’m sick of SEX OH MY GOD PLZ MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!

i can’t believe my therapist tried to tell me that i would always be a little lonely if i never had a romantic/sexual partner. fuck that. you don’t need anything but your friends and your family and your own self love. god is big enough.

I’M NOT LONELY I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND ME AND LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM!!!!!

...

just had a weird thought that i can never be an authentic christian bc half my friends aren’t christian so around them i act like christanity is a joke (in some ways it is?) but i also can’t be authentic around my christian friends bc some of the things they say i can’t fully stand behind either bc i am a secular person too and it’s just like WE REALLY CAN’T WIN HUH GOD!!!!! i love being unknowable!!!! at least i have laura shes the only person who understands both sides that’s nice

oh my god i get to hug laura the day after tomorrow

...

anyway.

can’t wait to be the random single family member who shows up at all the family gatherings while all my cousins get married and have kids! i finally have accepted that i get to live that dream and WOW IT FEELS GOOD!!!!!!

#love #marriage #asexuality #demisexuality #vday #why does vday even exist #im not even mad im just like......do we need it #i love capitalism #personal #sorry if you're on mobile just SCROLL PLZ

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lizabethstucker · 4 years

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Hex Life edited by Christopher Golden & Rachel Autumn Deering

Eighteen tales of witches and magic all written by women. A few are set in particular authors’ existing series. The inclusiveness of black characters and authors elevates an already wonderful collection. This is an ARC that was received late, contained in the box of books due to be published in January. This actually was published in October and is available now. I highly recommend this to pretty much anyone. 4.5 out of 5.

“An Invitation to a Burning” by Kat Howard

The town of Merrinvale refuses to admit that witches are needed to keep ordinary magics working. Instead they burn them. When villager Ronald angrily takes offense to a woman, she tends to disappear. Now his sight is focused on Sage. Very short, but chock full of emotion and sisterhood. 4.5 out of 5.

“Widows’ Walk” by Angela Slatter

The four widows living together on Carter Lane are suspected to be witches by many in the town of Mercy’s Brook, but are not harassed by locals. When young Chelsea Margaret Bloom is caught stealing milk from their porch to dull her hunger, the women get involved. Absolutely perfect from start to finish, with a neat twist at the end. 5 out of 5.

“Black Magic Momma: An Otherworld Story” by Kelley Armstrong

Eve Levine is a dark witch who is half-demon. Her sole focus in life is keeping her daughter safe. To do so, she works as a retrieval agent, obtaining items wanted by others. Her latest job attracts dangerous attention. I’ve not read any books in this series yet, although the first volume is in my ebook library. I found this story moderately interesting, but not quite up to the previous two stories in this series. Perhaps it in a matter of context. 3.5 out of 5.

“The Night Nurse” by Sarah Langan

Having a third child that she never wanted, Esme is approached by Wendy Broadchurch at the Brooklyn Children’s Museum. Wendy is a night nurse, offering to help Esme once the new baby is born. Already overwhelmed, Esme agrees. At first she is happy, but soon doubts creep in. Really creepy and, to be honest, a little more raw than I was comfortable with. 3 out of 5.

“The Memories of Trees” by Mary SanGiovanni

The Faithful plan to hang Martha Weede and her young ward, Ellena, threatened by their refusal to worship in the New Church and to accept the God of Technology. Instead Martha and Ellena honor the Old Religion, the one older than the now fallen Christianity. While graphic, it not only harks back to the witch hunts in New England, but warns how easy it is to fall back into that mindset of fear, prejudice, and craving for power. Loved this story! 4.5 out of 5.

“Home: A Morganville Vampire Story” by Rachel Caine

A witch has appeared in Morganville, one Oliver had killed centuries ago. She’s a danger to both the vampire and human community. She wants Oliver’s blood and will destroy everyone to get it. Wow, how did I miss this series? I’ve already got it downloaded from my library to read next. A short story that makes you eager to know more about all the characters is a great story. I almost got a Eureka vibe from this, only with vamps instead of mad scientists. 4.5 out of 5.

“The Deer Wife” by Jennifer McMahon

Julie has been meeting her lover in the woods for four years, a witch who comes to her in many forms. She knows she shouldn’t, but is drawn back time after time. Julie wants to join the witch forever, be able to transform as her lover does, but the witch resists. Julie has a son, but Levi is now nineteen, with a girlfriend. And filled with resentment for the death of his father. McMahon doen’t give a lot of details, particularly in regards to the death of Julie’s husband and whether the witch was more directly responsible. Or whether it is love or enchantment that keeps her returning. An old myth tweaked into an interesting romantic tale. 3.5 out of 5.

“The Dancer” by Kristin Dearborn

Paul Baker is called to the Weavers’ farm to help with the reports by Ani, their daughter, of haunted activity. They aren’t pleased with his solution. He’s called back a second time to find the situation is more dire than he expected and takes action. I don’t know about this one. It almost reads like a rough outline or a missing scene from a longer story. Disappointed as it had great potential as a novella or a book. 3 out of 5.

“Bless Your Heart” by Hillary Monahan

It is never smart to go after a Southern mother’s baby boy, especially if she also has powers. Pammy Washington and her bully of a son deserved everything they got for the years Colton had tormented Tucker. Her late Mama warned Audrey to never cook when mad, but a woman can only stand so much. I laughed at what happened to Pammy. Not nice, I know, but I grew up in the South and I know women like her. I’d bet good money that she was head cheerleader in high school, prom queen as well. She really did get what she deserved, bless her heart. For those who might not know, “bless your heart” is the genteel Southern way of saying “you’re a piece of shit”. 4 out of 5.

“The Debt” by Ania Ahlborn

After Karolin’s mother died, her father began to change, becoming less talkative, more distant. He suddenly decides to take her to Poland, to visit his childhood home where his mother lives. After arriving with no sign of his mother, Greg takes Karolin deep into the nearby woods to hunt for mushrooms. When her back was turned, he disappears. Shivers. No happy or satisfying ending here. Just the most horrific ending you could imagine. 3.5 out of 5.

“Toil & Trouble: A Dark-Hunter Hellchaser Story” by Sherrilyn Kenyon & Madaug Kenyon

The witches of Carrion Hill are constantly visited by those seeking a glimpse of their future as well as a way to avoid the bad part. As time goes on, there are less and less witches and more stupid humans who refuse to listen to the advice given. Eeri, sold to the witches by her family, hates them, desires freedom and money. A bit of Shakespeare is threaded throughout the story. I love the Bard, but I don’t really think it adds to the story as much as the authors might believe it does. Another series that I haven’t begun reading as yet. 3 out of the 5.

“Last Stop on Route Nine” by Tananarive Due

Charlotte and her 12-year-old cousin decide to drive together from their grandmother’s funeral in Tallahassee to a luncheon in Gracetown, a place both Charlotte’s mother and Kai’s father had fled as soon as they could and never returned to. Somehow they are lost, caught in a smothering fog before coming through the other side to find a wicked old woman who curses them. Here’s a sweet bit of horror with the mention of some real-life places peppered into the story. 4 out of 5.

“Where Relics Go to Dream and Die” by Rachel Autumn Deering

After years of conjuring the witch through the flame of an almost spent candle, the old man was dying. One last conversation with the woman he loves leads to a dream or, rather, a memory that changes the past and the present. A bit scrambled, but strangely compelling nonetheless. So many questions. 3.5 out of 5.

“This Skin” by Amber Benson

Frances wanted to confess to homicide detective Harry Longfellow, waiting for just the right moment. The reaction isn’t what she expected. Frances comes across as a ten-year-old sociopath. Unusual story. I don’t know whether I like it or not. It begs for more. 3 out of 5.

“Haint Me Too” by Chesya Burke

It’s been 40 years since slavery ended, but there are plenty who would like to just ignore the Emancipation Proclamation. Shea and her family lived on the Myrtle House plantation, currently owned by the Petersons. Myrtle House is haunted by the haint of a black woman who was murdered after poisoning her owners. When local whites try to prevent black families and white sharecroppers from either leaving to go North or demanding better agreements, Shea can not only help her family, but the haint. Enthralling tale of the South and how little it had changed after the War. A little scary, but also empowering. Could be considered a coming-of-age story for Shea. 4.5 out of 5.

“The Nekrolog” by Helen Marshall

I’m not sure how to describe this story. It involves immigrants leaving Russia, death that isn’t, the State’s experiments in psychic abilities, and much more. Enchanting and intriguing, a story I wish had been longer. It really is almost as convoluted as an old Russian tale. 4.5 out of 5.

“Gold Among the Black” by Alma Katsu

Greta, an orphan, owns nothing. Her only friend is Jesper, her dog. She works hard at the castle in exchange for food during the day, refusing to sleep there at night because she can’t bring Jesper with her. Instead they curl up together in the woods. But Greta is getting old enough to have men watching. Another worker at the castle has also told her that there are rumors that she is a witch and Jesper is her familiar. What does she do now? Nice, a bit of romance with the fantasy. 3.5 out of 5.

“How to Become a Witch-Queen” by Theodora Goss

The newly widowed queen is worried about her son, the soon-to-be king, marrying off his sister to some stranger. She also needs to consider her own future now that she’s free. A wild and interesting view of what life might’ve been like for Snow White after her Happily Ever After. New choices, old friends, and a heroine who realizes it is time to take charge of her own life in order to ensure her daughter has choices. Absolutely perfect! 5 out of 5.

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pug-bitch · 5 years

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That’s not why I’m going (12)

If you can breathe

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive, and one VERY steamy scene, around 60 diamonds again :D. This is absolutely NOT appropriate for people under 18.

Word count: 4,160 (let me know if the ‘keep reading’ cutoff isn’t working well!)

Notes: This picks up pretty much where we left off, during the last night in Lythikos, after Amara’s revelation, starting with Drake’s POV.

*****

Drake had barely gotten any sleep after Amara’s panic attack. He wanted to make sure she was ok and after she opened up to him, he’d just held her in his arms until she stopped shaking, and cried herself back to sleep. Meanwhile, Drake was still stroking her hair, and trying not to move so he wouldn’t wake her up.

Her slumber didn’t last very long, though. When she wakes up, still way before dawn, she looks up to see if Drake’s eyes are closed, and when she sees they are open, she kisses him on the cheek.

‘Good morning,’ she whispers.

He smiles at her and replies, ‘Good morning, Suarez.’

A comfortable silence remains between them for a while, until Amara breaks it. ‘I’m so sorry about earlier. Thank you for being so understanding. I was terrified of your reaction.’

Drake’s heart breaks a bit more at her words. ‘Why? Did you think I would judge you for something you’re not responsible for?’

She holds his gaze. ‘I mean...no, but I’ve been judging myself for so long, it’s hard to imagine a reality where no one blames me.’

He nods. He wishes he could take on her pain, and help her understand that none of what happened was her fault. But this is too big a job for now, he knows that. It will take time, and he is willing to be patient. He’d spent the past few hours thinking back on Amara’s conversation with her dad, and something remains on his mind. What did Michael tell her that was so awful? He doesn’t want to ask, but he hopes she will open up about this, too. It seems like it was a big part of her decision to come to Cordonia. He sincerely hopes she doesn’t regret that decision, because, no matter the reasons, Drake definitely is grateful for it.

‘I know I don’t know the whole situation,’ Drake says softly, ‘but there is no way anything was your fault. You were both cops, and it was a perp who shot the gun, as it unfortunately happens.’

Amara nods. ‘I know. On paper, it’s no one’s fault but the murderer’s. But when I had to tell Michael that his husband got shot and killed on MY interrogation, believe me, it was a different deal. When I had to tell my dad his son was dead because MY perp shot him in the heart, I felt responsible.’ She pauses. ‘My dad never blamed me. Not once. He wept for months, still does sometimes, you’ve seen him. Michael, on the other hand… he and I used to be like siblings, too. We loved each other. I’m the godmother of their daughter. Now… seeing me just reminds him that I live, while his husband is in a coffin.’

Fuck, he thinks. This is so much pressure and responsibility on one person. Who was there to support her? He could tell she and her dad had a good relationship, but since they were both mourning, maybe he wasn’t the best person to help her grieve. He doesn’t know what to respond, so he merely hugs her a little tighter.

After a while, he dares to ask the question that he sometimes asks himself about his father. ‘Do you...do you ever talk about him? Sergio? Like, tell funny stories about him, or reminisce about your childhood?’

Amara smiles, but she looks pained. ‘Not really. I don’t want my dad to suffer, so I don’t bring him up at all. I’m not really on speaking terms with Michael, so… My best friend, Mia, knew him well, but she and I don’t talk about him. I don’t know why.’

‘Tell you what. It doesn’t have to be now, or even today. But at some point, I’d like you to tell me one anecdote about Sergio, every once in a while. I mean, only if you’re ok with it.’

She smiles, and Drake can tell it’s an honest one this time. ‘That’s a really sweet idea. I’d love that.’ She glances at her phone. ‘Shit! It’s 6am! Shouldn’t you go back to your room, in case--’

Drake interrupts her with his hand on her mouth. ‘In case what? I don’t give a shit.’ He kisses her on the lips. ‘I just want to be with you right now.’

*****

They had to get up eventually and join the others for brunch, their last group activity before their departure from Lythikos in the early afternoon.

Amara was grateful that Drake had insisted to stay with her longer than usual this morning. They had snuggled together in bed, and lazily let their hands wander all over each other. They’d even had time to take a shower together, which was now their new normal, and she couldn’t help but think she’d miss it when they’re back in the Capital. Although, now that Maxwell knew about them, maybe they could afford to be a bit less careful. Amara tried not to think about Liam or his potential reaction. She’d noticed his lingering looks on her during the wine tasting, and she didn’t care for them.

‘Who wants me to get them a bloody mary? I make a mean one!’ shouts Maxwell, while everyone else, slightly hungover, winces at his loudness.

Amara feels like shit as well but it’s not from last night’s drinking. Still, she could benefit from some hair of the dog. ‘I’ll have one, please!’

Maxwell’s hand is heavy as he pours Amara’s cocktail, to which he adds a flurry of olives and a piece of celery that looks like a small tree. ‘Tadaaa! My turn to grace you with eternal cocktails, my Lady.’

Amara chuckles. God, she’s grateful for that little bastard. She wishes Mia could meet him. They’d be two peas in a pod. ‘Thank you, my Lord. It’s a thing of beauty.’

They all enjoy the delicious brunch, and conversation flows freely, until Madeleine spills the entire contents of a coffee mug on Hana’s lap. Hana gasps and Liam, whom she was engaged in a lively conversation with, instantly offers his napkin.

‘Oh Lady Hana, I’m so very sorry,’ Madeleine exclaims with a fake smile. ‘I hope I didn’t burn you!’

‘I’m fine, no worries,’ Hana gracefully replies.

Amara gets up immediately and offers Hana her help to clean up in the powder room. She figures, it’s safer for her to be away from Madeleine right now, rather than punching her smug face. As they walk away, Madeleine’s pursed lips reveal a hint of a cruel smile.

Once in the bathroom, Amara closes the door behind them and asks Hana: ‘What the fuck? What’s her problem?’

Hana shrugs, ‘I don’t know. She just doesn’t seem to like me. I mean, who knows, maybe she didn’t do it on purpose.’ Amara gives her a pointed look and Hana concedes, ‘...alright, you have a point. She definitely meant to do that.’

Amara grabs a washcloth and soaks it, when Olivia barges in without knocking. ‘What the fuck?’ Great minds think alike. ‘Obviously, the bitch is territorial. She can’t handle anyone else talking to Liam.’

Amara nods, ‘Clearly. Has she always been like this?’

‘Pretty much,’ Olivia replies. ‘Except that now that all her marriage prospects are fleeing court one by one, she’s getting more and more desperate.’ She shoots a scary look at Hana. ‘Did she burn you?’

‘No, it was just warm. I think the point was more humiliation than injury.’ Hana roughly dries her clothes and walks out. As Amara is about to follow suit, Olivia blocks her.

‘You look like shit,’ she spits.

‘Gee, thanks, Olivia, you have a way with words.’

‘Have you been crying?’

Amara debates telling the truth, but opts for a different question, one that she’s been itching to ask for the past day. ‘How did you know I was a detective?’

Olivia smirks and clicks on the door lock. ‘Going straight for the jugular, huh? I googled you. After some digging, I found another NYPD detective with your same last name, and his obituary. There were some articles, too. Not easy to find, but I’m pretty good at digging.’

Amara nods, tears filling her eyes. Damn, she didn’t want to cry in front of Olivia. ‘Well played, Nevrakis.’

‘I’m a steel trap. But other bitches around here are not. So, watch out, ok?’

Amara nods again, trying not to talk, knowing what would happen if she opened her mouth right now.

‘For what it’s worth, Suarez, I’m sorry. This is a fucking terrible situation to be in.’

Olivia holds her gaze, waiting for her to say something, but she doesn’t.

‘Suarez, can you breathe?’

Amara lets out a muffled laugh. ‘Barely.’

Visibly not satisfied with this response, Olivia takes one step closer to Amara and repeats, maintaining eye contact: ‘Can you breathe?’

‘...yeah.’

‘If you can breathe, you can stand. If you can stand, you can fight.’

*****

Drake was packing for their imminent departure. He was feeling wistful about their time in Lythikos, and was expecting Amara to come over to hang out a little longer before they had to leave. Olivia had really pulled through, because besides Maxwell’s little eavesdropping moment on the first night, they had been left completely alone.

He’s retrieving his toiletries when he hears a knock. He almost yells out ‘Come in, Suarez,’ but something tells him not to. She usually just rattles the door and comes in right away. This doesn’t sound right.

‘Come in!’

Sure enough, it’s Liam. ‘Is this a good time?’

‘Sure, just hold on a second.’

Drake pulls his phone out of his pocket as fast as he can, and starts typing a text to Amara.

Don’t come in yet - Liam’s here.

Phew. Dodged a bullet.

‘What’s up, Li?’

Liam is sitting on Drake’s bed, smiling. ‘Nothing, just haven’t seen you much today, and since I’m all packed, I thought I’d pay you a visit.’

Drake’s phone buzzes: Ok :( from Amara. Good, she’d seen the text before coming over. But is he out of the woods, though? What if there’s some kind of evidence in the room? He hates that he’s becoming paranoid, but he doesn’t exactly have a choice. ‘Yeah, sounds great. Did you enjoy your stay in Lythikos?’

‘I really did,’ Liam replies. ‘Can we talk about how crazy Madeleine was this morning, please?’

Drake makes a shocked face and puts down the toiletry bag he was packing. ‘Right? What was she trying to do, send Hana to the burn unit?’

Liam shakes his head. ‘Honestly, I’m still pissed at Regina for pushing Madeleine onto the competition. I talked to Leo last night and he warned me about a lot of things.’

‘No shit. He knows firsthand.’

Drake had missed normal conversations with his best friend, and he hadn’t realized how much.

‘Yeah,’ Liam added. ‘He basically told me he’s glad not to be in my shoes.’

‘Except that, well...he’s the exact reason you’re in these shoes right now.’

Liam chuckles, but there’s a sadness to his laugh. ‘I guess you’re right. He’s living the life, or whatever.’

‘You’re allowed to be mad at him, Liam.’

He shrugs. ‘What good would that do? In any case, he told me to be careful about Madeleine’s demeanor with the other suitors. She tends to sabotage, and she especially likes blackmail.’

‘Yeah, you have to keep in mind that she’s a monster.’

Liam gives him a concerned smile. ‘I’m sorry about what she said to you the other day. You know, about Savannah. I should have stood up for you, and I’m glad Amara did what I was too chickenshit to do.’

True, Amara was, once again, the only one who had his back. ‘It’s ok. I won’t let Madeleine get in my head. I’m just constantly worried about Sav.’

‘I know, and I wish I could help.’

But you could, Drake thinks. You have the workforce for it, and the means to look into it. But you never offered. ‘That’s ok.’ Drake says.

‘In any case,’ Liam says, swiftly changing the subject, ‘I think you were right about playing it cool with Amara. If I show too much interest in her too soon, Madeleine may target her as a response. See how she acted with Hana when we were just having a conversation…’

Liam had a point, Drake knew that. But still, it irked him that he was so confident about winning Amara over in the long run. He remains silent, not wanting to betray himself.

‘But now,’ Liam continues, ‘I don’t really know how to proceed. I can’t show interest for her in public, and she doesn’t want me to break the rules and arrange any sneaky dates. When am I supposed to see her alone, then?’

God, Drake wanted to punch him in the dick. Can he let go, ever? Had Amara sent him any flirtatious signals? Had she ever responded positively to any of his advances? Had Liam always been like that? Drake remembers Claire, the noblewoman Liam was madly in love with, when they were younger. She had given in to him, even though she kept telling Savannah that she had a crush on Maxwell, who was blissfully unaware of the whole thing. So, maybe Liam had always been relentless and entitled, but Drake had never really paid attention. Does that mean he’s not any better?

Drake had zoned out, and realizes that Liam is still babbling on about ways to seduce Amara. Is he fucking serious?

‘I could try to give her a rendezvous again, maybe after the regatta, without anyone knowing, what do you think? I could invite her to have a drink with me on my balcony, away from prying eyes.’

Oh boy. He’d have to tread lightly on this one. He couldn’t show his cards. ‘Liam. What did she tell you last time?’

‘She wants to play by the rules. But--’

‘Exactly,’ Drake interrupts. ‘She’s not like most women at court, who would sell a kidney for a night with Prince Liam. She responds to subtlety, and she’s made that clear to you.’

Liam holds his gaze for a few seconds, and Drake holds his breath. Was that too transparent? Fuck, he remembers that he left the condom wrappers from their first night in the bathroom wastebasket. Let’s hope Liam doesn’t need to use the bathroom.

‘You’re right,’ Liam concludes. ‘I’m too pushy. It’s just difficult to resist, I mean, have you seen her?’ Yup, Drake thinks. He’s seen her. Naked. ‘It’s not just that, that’s not what I mean.’ Yup, Drake knows. ‘She’s different, she’s honest, spontaneous, just the whole package.’

‘Yeah, she seems wonderful, I’m not saying she’s not. I’m just saying, be respectful. Don’t put her in situations that she’ll find awkward, like summoning her to the gardens so you can fuck in the maze. Which we all know is your MO.’

Liam chuckles. ‘I do like the maze. And between you and me, I’ve been thinking about her, a LOT. I mean, her tits in that blouse last night…’

Although Drake agreed with the statements about her tits, he had no interest in that so-called locker room talk. He never had any interest in partaking in those, in his opinion, disrespectful ‘manly’ chats about women’s bodies, and when it came to Amara, it actually made his blood boil. Liam was usually not the type to discuss those things so openly, either, so he must really want to get laid. Drake almost opens his mouth to tell him that Madeleine is probably DTF, but stops himself. To be honest, any woman in that competition --except Amara, and probably Hana-- would have slept with Liam in the maze if prompted. Liam was just barking up the wrong tree.

He needs to change the subject, stat. ‘Well, our cars are leaving soon, right? When’s yours leaving?’

‘Oh, I’m about to head downstairs, Bastien and Thierry are expecting me any minute. I need to get back to the Palace, Father wants to see me.’

Thank God for Thierry, Liam’s more than punctual chauffeur, and for Constantine, who did not like to be kept waiting. ‘Alright, I guess we still have an hour or so before our departure, so I’m gonna finish packing. I’ll see you in the Palace later for dinner?’

Liam pats Drake’s shoulder. ‘Yes you will. Good talk, friend.’

As soon as Liam is out the door, Drake excitedly takes out his phone and texts Amara.

Wait a couple of minutes and come over - Liam is leaving.

*****

Amara is relieved to see Drake’s text - she was getting anxious she wouldn’t get to see him before they had to leave, even though they’d be in the same car.

‘Drake?’ she whispers while peeking her head into his bedroom.

‘Come in!’

She gleefully obliges, determined to spend the next hour of free time with Drake. ‘So, what did Liam want?’

‘Honestly, he kinda wanted to talk about you again. I had to dodge a few pointed questions. I talked him out of inviting you for alone time in his room after the regatta tomorrow, but...I wouldn’t be surprised if he did anyway.’

Amara rolls her eyes. ‘I know we’re supposed to be threatened by his relentlessness, but I’m just annoyed. True, I’m officially competing for his hand, but I’ve never showed him any sign that I want to be invited into his room.’

Drake nods. ‘That’s what I told him. Just be prepared to dodge him, that’s all.’

Amara smiles, touched by his concern for her. ‘Um, Drake?’ she asks hesitantly.

Drake sits down on his bed, gesturing for her to come closer.

‘I hope I didn’t ruin everything,’ she adds. ‘When I opened up to you, I didn’t intend to make things tense, or weird… Point is, I hope you don’t see me differently now that you know...what I’ve caused.’

Drake takes both her hands in his, and pulls her closer, until she’s sitting on his lap. ‘Suarez, you didn’t cause anything. And I could never see you any differently. You know how I see you?’ Amara shakes her head. ‘I see you as the woman who shook me awake. Who gave me a reason to smile. Who is helping me see the positive in the world. All that you’ve caused, for me, is happiness.’

Amara’s eyes fill with tears, but this time they’re not tears of pain. She cannot believe the man who is in front of her, cannot believe that they found each other. She doesn’t know what to say, except that she feels the same. Awake. She’d been stuck in a slumber for two years, but now she’s awake, with him.

She pulls him in for a long, deep kiss. Her lips capture his, and they melt into each other. She wonders if she’s ever felt this way about anyone before, if she’s ever felt this close to a person she only knew for less than a month. She straddles him, holding him close, as he wraps his arms around her waist. Their kiss becomes more urgent, as if they needed to be as close to one another as they could.

Drake’s hands wander lower, as he firmly grabs her ass, while Amara’s start unzipping his pants. She strokes his penis through his boxers, and he lets out a low moan. ‘Take off your pants,’ he whispers through their kiss.

Amara removes her jeans, too happy to oblige. After going to swiftly lock the door --she mentally thanks Olivia for this godsend of a lock--, she goes back to Drake’s arms, straddling him again as he sits up, his arms tightly wrapped around her. She feels his cock stiffen more and more, until it’s ready to burst out of his boxers. She quickly frees it with one hand, still kissing his lips. ‘God, I want you,’ he groans.

His hand travels between her legs, gently caressing the wet fabric of the seat of her panties. She wants him so badly, she thinks. He slides one finger, then two, in her slit, and teases it until her hip movements are desperate, and he understands she cannot wait anymore. He pulls her panties to the side and seamlessly enters her, making her moan intensely. This was her favorite moment, every time. The very moment he entered her, and she felt her walls stretch, then contract around him, making him hers completely.

Their hips move together, while Drake’s hands find Amara’s breasts and knead them underneath her bra, softly pinching her nipples. Amara loves how he gives them so much attention. She rides him harder, faster, until he moans louder and she gets closer to her orgasm. With every movement, she feels closer to the edge, losing herself in the moment and in his touch. He must feel that she is on the brink of letting go, as he whispers in her ear, breathlessly, ‘Come for me,’ and it sends her over the edge. She comes on his cock with a low groan that she feels lasts for a long time, until she hears him say with a raspy voice: ‘God you feel so good… I’m about to come…’ She resumes riding him and picks up the pace, wanting him to reach climax just as she reached it herself. Soon enough, he digs his fingers into her back and she feels him fill her with his pleasure. ‘Mmm,’ he moans, ‘Fuck, Amara, you’re amazing.’

She smiles, kisses him again, and they stay tangled in each other for a little while, until they come back to their senses and realize they probably should go back to reality, if they don’t want the others to send a search party.

*****

In the car taking them back to the Capital, Drake sits with Maxwell, while Amara is next to Hana. Hana had been eager to chat with her friend, and neither of them had the heart to prevent that from happening, however much they’d wanted to sit together. Maxwell was a good travel companion though, as he provided constant commentary which did not necessarily need any response, but he was open to conversation if Drake was so inclined. Today, in the light of the relaxing and satisfying moment he’d shared with Amara, Drake was in a phenomenal mood, so conversation was welcome. The two ladies were chatting away, not paying attention to them at all, so Maxwell saw an opening to talk about what he’d found out.

‘So,’ Max whispers, ‘do you guys really like each other?’

Drake chuckles and whispers in turn: ‘Yeah Max. Really. Thanks for being cool, by the way.’

‘Who am I to get in the way of true love?’ he says playfully.

Drake almost protested, almost said come on, hold your horses, this is only the beginning, but then he didn’t. He liked to think that it was going this direction. So, he remains silent and merely smiles.

‘Oooooh,’ Maxwell teases, ‘do you have feelings?’

Drake smiles, considers whether or not to open up, and chooses to tell the truth. ‘Yeah. I have feelings.’

Maxwell beams with excitement. ‘OMG I just KNEW that these sex noises were full of love!’

‘Alright, calm your tits, Maxwell,’ Drake says softly, with a smile on his lips. ‘By the way, why were you coming to my room that night?’

Maxwell, visibly caught off guard, stays silent with his mouth open for a few seconds too long, before finally replying, ‘Oh, I just wanted to see if you were ok, after everything Madeleine and Kiara had said that afternoon.’

*****

Back in the Capital, Amara unpacks in her room, before it’s time to head downstairs for dinner. There is something she can’t get out of her head, but for once it’s not torturing her. On the contrary, it makes her smile, in a way that she can’t control. When she hears Drake’s soft knock on the door, she turns around, still smiling.

‘Hey Suarez, I just wanted to see if you settled in okay.’

She gestures for him to close the door, and closes the distance between them to wrap him in a warm hug. ‘He used to make us breakfast every Sunday after our mom passed. My dad was too sad to function and I was only 10, so the stovetop was not my forte. Sergio was 16, so he took on that role for a while. He made us frittatas, or omelets, or sometimes huevos rancheros. Everything he made was so fucking disgusting,’ she breaks into a fit of laughter, ‘I’ll never forget the glance my dad and I exchanged every single Sunday, when we took our first, horrifying bite of Sergio’s gross as fuck eggs. But we never told him, because he was sweet enough to take care of us.’

Drake smiles, and strokes Amara’s hair. ‘That’s a sweet --and mean-- memory.’

Amara nods. ‘It is. And it feels good to share it.’

*****

Taglist:

@andy-loves-corgis , @drakewalkerwhipped , @drakxwalker , @drakewalkerrosenberg , @drakeswalkers , @drakelover78 , @silviasutton1989 , @jovialyouthmusic , @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria , @mariahschoices , @drakesensworld , @thequeenofcronuts , @notoriouscs , @drakewalkerisreal , @nikkis1983 , @simsvetements , @alesana45

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

#that's not why i'm going #drake x amara #drake walker x amara suarez #drake x mc #drake walker x mc #drake walker trr #drake walker #trr drake #drake trr #the royal romance fanfic #the royal romance #choices trr #trr fanfic #trr

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apprentice-nylah · 5 years

Text

So since I didn’t catch that we finally got Book XXI - The World until now... I’m doing my usual first impressions of playing through and my thoughts. Since (I think?) this is the end of Nadia’s route, I believe I’ll do an overall thoughts in a different post later on when I’ve digested everything.

Both my thoughts on the Upright ending and Reversed ending are under the cut. I play through Nadia’s route only. But this is a much longer than normal post. And it goes without saying, but a lot of spoilers under the cut.

Upright Ending

- ITS FINALLY HERE?!?@?!??@~

- Backroom of the shop but in red... okie

- oh is this uhm.. when the apprentice first got revived?

- snow

- oh what did nadia legit visit the apprentice when.. wait...

- okay so basically you can only pick “youve come to the right place!” even though theres an option for “wait this isn’t right.”

- YoU’Re hEr FiAnCe!!!

- NO YOURE PERFECT FOR HER

- is it going to be the fool card???

- ok the high priestess, I can accept that

- THE LOVE OF MY LIFE (can you hear me screaming irl)

- this is all the devils fault so “the devil will pay for this”

- aw nadia gushing about the apprentice is so cute

- “I’ll always find you.” fuck ye

- uhm.. apprentice wise probably “id turn into a phoenix.”

- lived on the moon.. “i’d live there too.”

- it was cheesy but u loved it anyway

- im actually squealing irl about nadia

- winkie sprite again ;0

- back where it started then eh

- “it has no power”

- renovating it would be a nice touch i think

- death

- “this IS a pickle”

- a ruse cruise l0l

- “you’re right” can’t believe i’m taking advice from death

- letting go of the past

- i don’t want to worry u queeeen

- this scene is familiar from asras route i think though i didn’t play it to this point, just have seen screenshots of it

- aw nadia

- that “back off zombie” option just reminds me of that heath inspector spongebob episode for some reason, but i’m going with “i wouldn’t say that”

- you could but u won’t

- “emotionally traumatizing zombie card” lmao

- ooo his thone room is kinda cool art wise

- i still love the devils art even tho i kinda hate him

- “do you ever stop talking” theres no other option to choose obviously

- nadia lecturing the devil is everything

- mortals but the apprentice is basically the fool so idk how true that exactly is

- WE WON

- what kind of person exactly WAS nadia if her family is this shocked that she wants them to visit, jeez

- fashion show lmfao

- natiqa gunna stay oo

- aw muriel and asra is still cute as fuck

- awww the baker getting to be procurator. thats also cute as fuck

- volta as official taste tester l0l

- portia totally has a crush on nahara and no one can convince me otherwise

- “i’m not ready to leave”

- i swear they keep mentioning things on fire and although shes prob referring to the one we were there for, theres always so many stories involving the satrinavas that include setting things on fire and i want to hear all the stories

- “lets bother valerius” we owe him for it still

- “he deserves it” my thoughts exactly

- YOU BET I REMEMBER IT

- “what we’ve done!!”

- sprite artttttttt

- eeeeeee.

I do feel like the ending is somewhat anti-climactic. I would have loved to see the wedding and all that cute shit, but perhaps it could be a tale later on. Or it also gives fandom creators some room to let the imagination run wild and that’s always a positive thing as well.

I haven’t looked around much, but i think theres some discourse about the endings, though when is there not discourse in the fandom lmfao. I will say that i think this does really play into what I said before that the upright ending and route playthrough is all about change. This is the person Nadia is capable of being at her best and her reversed ending the person she could be if she had stayed on the path she was set on. (or at her worse, if you prefer that).

as said, I think I’ll put an overview thoughts in a different post, but I think book XXI was a pretty decent wrap up, though obviously I wish there had been more of it.

Reversed Ending

- I’m still like.. not as mad about the reversed ending as a lot of people seemed to be, but also i agree with the apprentice. PANIC

- okay im really keen on domination and shit but being a possession of another person is really a no-no for me. but i get it nadia... this isn’t ur best u

- the devil really has a fetish for red, don’t he

- I think this place is never gunna let u go anyway tbh

- learning more about the devils nature and knowing that nadia is eventually gunna be the devil is just like... why.

- “which would u prefer”

- u bet im gunna be fucking cheeky

- “ill obey” ig. idk what the “right answer” is so...

- say nothing

- nadias eyes are fucking creepy like what

- tbh i can’t believe this somehow backfired on the devil like... i didn’t think he was actually this stupid

- “its beautiful”

- okay her devil sprite is hot asf. i admit it.

- “of course’

- so valarius rules vesuvia now?

- its kinda of sad to see her relationship with the high priestess gone

- okay, also a hot CG

- “gimme!” tho i’m sure shes gunna make me beg or something wild

- “let me thank you properly”

- kiss every inch of her

- thats kinda sweet in a weird sort of way

- “youre mine”

- they fucked didn’t they

- youre going to free her... >.>

Okay, i have... thoughts. While I’ve said that I do believe that the Reverse ending is supposed to be Nadia as the person she was at the beginning of the story (or at least in some ways with some of her less desirable traits amplified to the max), this just seems... weird after playing the Upright ending.

Obviously this makes sense if you played the route as a reverse ending. The apprentice is super dedicated to Nadia that they’ll follow her blindly, even if it means harming other people. You fail to see her faults and instead just tell her that people who criticize her are wrong. But like I said, I think the Devil honestly being that idiotic that he actually gave her the power to defeat him is just wild. In a way where there has to be a lot of suspension of disbelief for that to be a thing. But okay. This is where we are.

I do think a lot of the domination/physical scenes with Nadia were super hot and wish we had gotten a bit more in the Upright ending, but since I have both endings, I can live with getting the emotional lovey stuff in one and the steamy physical stuff in another. THat’s fine. Also, I really do love Nadia’s Devil sprite. The art is great for it.

Anyway, those are just some thoughts I had on my first play through. I’ll probably do a full reflection tomorrow when I’ve sort of had more time to process my feelings. As for what I’ll do with the Arcana now that Nadia’s route is over... I’m not sure. I’m not super hot on Portia, though I like her. Just not in a “I want to romance her way.” Maybe I’ll play through Muriel since I think he’s sweet and I thihnk his story will be super interesting. And As much as I hate Lucio in this route, I’m kinda of interested in how they’re planning on writing his route.

#the arcana #the arcana spoilers #nadia satrinava #nadia spoilers #first thoughts #upright and reverse endings

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carnationbooks · 6 years

Text

Fandom features: Author Wendy Qualls

To kick off a series of fandom-focused posts, we’re chatting with author Wendy Qualls (aka wendymarlowe on AO3) about fanfic, Johnlock, getting published, the intersection of fanfiction and original fiction, and a little dash of DragonCon! We so enjoyed learning a bit about Wendy’s fandom experience, and are so glad to share her insight with all of you! Don’t miss the amazing rec list she wrote for us after the jump (it’s so good). Thank you so much for talking with us, Wendy!

Thanks so much for chatting with us! How can our readers find you?

I write fic as wendymarlowe (Marlowe being my middle name), but I write my original male/male romance under my real name, Wendy Qualls. (www.wendyqualls.com)

So what inspired you to start writing fic?

I write in the Sherlock fandom with brief forays into Harry Potter, but my first ever fandom was Dragon Age. I played Dragon Age: Origins and went through the love story with one of the characters and immediately thought "I want to experience exactly that again, but different" and I remembered something called fanfic my sister used to read so I looked some up. The one I found was awful, but then I found my way onto fanfiction.net and eventually onto AO3. The fics got better :-)

Now that you’re writing mostly in the Sherlock fandom, what about Johnlock is the most appealing to you?

Honestly? I love what fandom has done to the characters. The Sherlock and John on the show would both be horrible people to be in a relationship with, but the general fandom version sort of rounds the edges off a bit. Sherlock is abrasive but not cruel, John is competently BAMF without being violent and angry. The show has throwaway lines like how John “lost an entire Wednesday once” and I know Moftiss put it in there because they thought it was funny but SERIOUSLY? Drugging your flatmate is not okay! I’d much rather read (and write) about characters who are capable of healthy relationships :-)

What is your favorite thing you have written so far?

My most popular fic, and the one that was the most amazing to write, was Dear John (https://archiveofourown.org/works/2647979). Summary: "With Sherlock dead, John eventually (under duress) makes a profile on an online dating site. And falls into a long-distance relationship with an enigmatic partner who reminds him of Sherlock in all the right ways. (Hint: it turns out to be Sherlock.)"

It was inspired by a friend trying a dating website and me realizing that sense of waiting for replies and not knowing when they're coming could be replicated by AO3's subscribe feature - I posted the fic in "real time." (As in, back and forth according to when the characters would have been writing each other). It had a pretty modest following at the beginning, but by the time John and Sherlock shared their first sexting right before Christmas it kind of blew up on Tumblr and the comments section started to be longer than the chapters :-P

It was amazing to see a mini-fandom develop right there and see everyone debating what they thought John and Sherlock were up to that very minute. By the time the fic got to the big dramatic face-to-face meet, the comments/replies were coming in faster than I could read them! I'm told it's still fun to read now, all at once, but the shared waiting experience was something I wish I could replicate for another fic and I don't know that I ever could.

When I started submitting around to find a literary agent, the popularity of Dear John and my other AO3 fics was a strong point in my favor with the agent I ultimately signed with :-) There's a LOT of overlap between romance authors and fanfic authors, actually, even if not all of them are public about it.

Speaking of your work as a published author, do you have any words of wisdom for the fic authors out there who are hoping to get published one day?

Everyone—every published author ever—has a few manuscripts “under the bed” that just didn’t work. Often it’s because their writing needed to get stronger before publishing, sometimes it’s because they hit a crowded market exactly wrong or just never connected with the right editors/agents. Only around 10% of people who attempt to write their first novel make it to the end, and less than half of those get to the point they’re submitting it for professional consideration.

The thing is, though, the only way to get better at writing is to write. I don’t care how many books and blogs you read about the craft (although those help too), you’re not going to get your book out there for money if you’re not willing to write something imperfect first.

Fanfic, I believe, is an amazing way to practice writing for low stakes. You get your pick of pre-developed characters and settings to choose from, there are no deadlines, and 99% of fanfic readers are supportive. AO3 says I’ve had 11,549 comments on my works - I think I’ve had only one or two readers who were critical. The rest are positive and make me excited to write for them. There is no doubt in my mind that fanfic has made me a better writer. Anyone who dreams of being published someday, my advice is this: write a book. Then write another. Write fanfic along the way and pick up people to cheer you on. The difference between published and unpublished is mostly luck, persistence, and confidence.

Do you ever get writer’s block? What do you do to combat it?

I do absolutely get writer's block, in big part because of my depression. (Depression sucks, btw.) Writing fic has made me comfortable having multiple works in progress at once, though, so often if I'm stuck on my "real" book I can write fic instead. I can't turn out fic as fast as I could before I started actually being published and having deadlines, but it's still a totally different feel writing for no stakes versus "how are my agent and editor and readers going to judge this?" Positive comments on AO3 pretty much balance out the negative energy in bad book reviews :-P

While we discussed this interview, you mentioned you’ll be in attendance at DragonCon this weekend. What are you most excited to do at con?

The panels and the people! There are several friends I only see at DragonCon, and it’s always fun to reconnect. The panels, though, are the heart of the convention. Science vs. Movies (10 PM Sunday in the Hilton Crystal ballroom) is always a highlight - it’s a panel of real, actual science experts forced to watch terrible Hollywood scenes and then argue why the scene was actually 100% scientifically plausible :-P Sometimes they break down and cry. It’s awesome.

You’re on some panels, right? When can folks catch those?

Friday at 10 PM: "BritTrack After Dark - British Fanfic/Slashfic Panel!" in Hilton Galleria 5 and Saturday at 10 PM: "We Do the Weird Stuff!: NC17 Fanfic" in Marriott M301

And finally, do you have any fic recs to share with our followers?

(Ed. Note: Y’ALL! Wendy wrote us an amazing rec list which is under the cut - Click for some Sherlock-y goodness!)

Favorite crack-premise-but-serious-fic: The Midas Touch (E) by flawedregina (https://archiveofourown.org/works/2479868) John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. I love this for the "literal magical healing cock" premise, but it's also a beautiful look at ethics, personality, and the dynamics of sex. John is caught between feeling like he ethically HAS to use his rare gift because it saves people's lives and feeling the very human need for privacy and having control over his own life. Sherlock is a brat because he's always a brat but he GETS it and supports John and seriously, it's wonderful. 32K.

Favorite crack-premise-but-serious-fic without all the smut: A Magnificent Instrument (T) by mycapeisplaid (https://archiveofourown.org/works/7452193) A series of vignettes set in an AU in which Sherlock plays the tuba instead of the violin. This does have some brilliant takes on the idea (my favorite is Sherlock playing "oompah oompah" elephant steps in time with Mycroft leaving the flat) but it's also got an amazing connection between Sherlock and John. 6K.

Favorite fantasy AU: Here There Be Dragons (E) by Leloi (https://archiveofourown.org/works/786378) When Lord John of the Umberland Watsons volunteered to his lord father to deal with a dragon, this was not what he had in mind. Instead of using his sword and shield to deal a deadly blow he found himself trussed up like a festival goose sans armor and small clothes, naked as his birth day. This is sweet and hot at the same time and thanks to a certain Tolkien movie, we don't have to imagine very hard to envision Sherlock as a dragon :-D 8K.

Favorite short, kinky smut: Performance Art (E) by thisprettywren (https://archiveofourown.org/works/208374) “I have to say, John, I really just. Well. I can’t see the appeal.” That wasn’t precisely true, of course. At the moment, the appeal lay in the way John was blushing and licking his lip, avoiding Sherlock’s gaze, thoroughly discomfited. This one is so sexy and so Sherlock in how he thinks and gah, just read it! 6K. Favorite AU: The Bang and the Clatter (M) by earlgreytea68 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/744242) Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. I learned a ton about baseball from this fic - it's very educational :-P It's also clear that earlgreytea is an AMAZING writer and a true baseball fan. 137K.

Favorite D/s verse: Shames and Praises (E) by s0mmerspr0ssen (https://archiveofourown.org/works/573019) Unable but desperate to find a dom who will put up with him, Sherlock swallows his pride and turns to Mycroft for help. Shortly after, John Watson steps into Sherlock's life. Kinky as hell with a wonderful caring top!John. D/s done right. 52K.

Favorite Mystrade: The DI and the Spy (T) by chasingriver (https://archiveofourown.org/works/558609) Greg is an early-morning runner. Mycroft is an early riser who happens to live on Greg's running route. Hilarity ensues. Written for MystradeDoodles' prompt: "Greg is a runner. Rom-com." Exactly what it says on the package - a sweet rom-com story about how Mycroft and Lestrade get a crush on each other before even knowing who the other is. 44K.

#wendymarlowe #Wendy qualls #fandom feature #sherlock #johnlock #fic writers #fanfiction #author interview #dragoncon #fic recs #rec lists #writing advice #fandom #fandom life #original fiction #gay fiction #m/m romance #m/m books

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phoenixfeatherquillwriting · 6 years

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Name Game!

I was tagged by @no-url-ideas-tho and @micastarsandmirrors! Thank you so much friends and sorry it took me 30 years to get to this ahhhh!

ANYWAY, my naming style is very....eclectic? Sometimes I make them up, sometimes I take existing names and tweak them, sometimes I take an existing name and add it to the language I’m making with a different meaning, and sometimes I conduct an exhaustive search for a name that’s JUST RIGHT (meaning and sound and all that.) I make it way more difficult than it needs to be. Sigh.

I have way way way too many OCs so I’ll just list the ones I usually post about here, but if anyone wants to, you can tag me again becuase I certainly have way more.

The OCS

Liz Desslin-I always start my lists with her and I have no idea why. She’s been with me for a few years now, I would say since 8th grade~freshman year. At that time I was really into the TV show Victorious and the earliest iteration of Liz’s character was inspired by one of my favorite characters, Jade. The actress who played her is Liz Gillies so I took her name and gave it to Liz. I then lengthened it to a longer made-up name for my language, but she doesn’t like it and doesn’t let anyone call her that, so I won’t mention it. My surnames usuallly don’t mean anything, I usually just mash together sounds until I get something I like or use a generator.

Beth Pemmer-She’s been around a little longer than Liz and has had about 3 name changes so far, poor thing. I think “Beth” came up because some of my favorite book characters as a kid were named Elizabeth and I just looked into variants. Like Liz, I extended Beth’s name a little to fit my language, so her full name is actually Bethki, but everybody just calls her Beth.

Tavi Simorian-I actually made up the name Tavi, only to discover years later that it’s a real name sometimes used as a diminutive of Octavia. By then it was too late to change it, so she’s just stayed “Tavi.”

Jewels (J) von Delmont-J is my oldest OC in terms of creation date. Becuase she’s ~10-sh years old or more, I don’t really remember where her name came from. At that time, I did have a couple of other OCs with gem related names, so I think Little Dove was trying to continue the theme and didn’t like “Jewel” by itself and added an s. I later rationalized my dumb decision to myself by saying her parents named her after the Crown Jewels of England. Most of her friends just call her J. The prefix “von” in her last name is the prefix of nobility in her country.

Rose Angelle-I wanted this utter sweetheart of a character to have a sweet name. She’s a true romantic at heart, and approaches all she does with love. Roses are traditionally associated with love and romance, so that’s what I chose. Her surname is a reference to the fact that I killed her off in one of my early drafts and I wanted to foreshadow that she was destined to be an “angel.” (Her last name is pronounced slightly differently than the word angel but I don’t know how to phonetically convey it so...*shrug emoticon.*)

Azura Jackson-I knew a girl named Azure when I was in like 6th grade, when my fascination with names and their meanings was beginning. I always thought her name was pretty, so I looked into variants and found this. Since Azure is a shade of blue, it’s also a refernce to the fact that her favorite color is indigo and she loves being out under the blue sky in her garden. (The fact that Rose has a flower name and is her best friend was an unexpected bonus.)

Ash Gutierrez-Ash is my newest OC, and from the start I knew I wanted them to be nonbinary. This lead to an extensive search of names for nonbinary folks, and this is what I settled on. I believe that Aris helped Ash pick their name when they fully came out and wanted a less feminine name. It proved to be a useful jumping off point for their character, as I promptly gave them pyrokenetic magic right after I named them.

Katri Newsome-Also relatively new to my brain, Katri got her name for its meaning: the translation to English is “knowing.” The English version is usually considered to be Kendra, and although her family calls her that (as is common in the region she’s from), she prefers Katri. Until recently, only Aris knew this and abused by her wishes. Her name is somewhat ironic becuase for a good portion of the story, she doesn’t know about the illegal activities her mentor Aris is up to. But in another way, it describes her character because she’s ever-curious and understands Aris in a way that the vast majority of people do not.

Aris Portokalos-Aris went through a name change or two as well, and I finally settled on this one becuase I liked the sound of it. It sounds similar to Ares, Greek god of war, and Aris is a fighter through and through. I heard her surname in a movie once and just randomly decided that was the one for her.

Thank you again for asking and sorry for this extremely long post!

#ask games #name game #dove’s useless ocs #oc: liz #oc: beth #oc: j #oc: tavi #oc: rose #oc: azura #oc: ash #oc: katri #oc: aris #dove talks #mine #micastarsandmirrors #Liv #thank you again for tagging me #writer friends

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flashfictionforpittance · 5 years

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Character Summary (Tony)

My PC is back in business but my Office license expired and money is a thing so I don’t have her last name because it’s on a word file, no judge.

Gender: Female (MtF transgender) Age: 26 Sexuality: Lesbian DOB: 04/04/1992 Race: Caucasian Ethnicity: French Canadian Nationality: British Build: Narrow/Petite Height: 5,6 Ft Hair: Short and choppy, long on top with an orange strip Skin: Peachy, looks healthier with some sun, small freckles. Artefact: Corvonius, a spellbook possessed with a demon who, like most other demons in the Archives, offers Tony the ability to cast spells (and in this case, the use of her demonic voice) in exchange for human souls. Powers: Spellcasting, healing, shields, intimidation, some ability to sense magic. Notable Features at Start: Scar on her forehead from falling over while rollerskating when she was six. A birthmark on her ribs shaped like a duck, about as big as your pinky nail. Notable Features Gained: Various bullet wounds- One on shoulder, through and through, one in the ribs, three on the right thigh in a tight line. Lots of piercings on the right ear, scars on her fists. Personality: Do-er, proactive, aloof, and unrepentant. Bold and often careless, headstrong, tendency to remove herself from difficult situations rather than face them. Listens to conscience but begrudgingly if driven to do something she’s afraid of or uncomfortable with. Chaotic Neutral. Punk, but keeps the aggression to a facade mostly, prefers to rely on subterfuge. Development: Tony starts off as a mute who uses sign language. Lots of silent commentary. Ignores people a lot. When she gets a voice by making a deal with the book demon Corvonius, she becomes much more erratic. Her personality starts railroading a lot of plans, causing a rise in tensions. That said, she’s still driven by giving a shit about her friends and wanting to keep them safe, and she becomes an extremely useful and dedicated member of the crew despite her volatility. At the midway point, her powers have a moment where they fail and she’s pretty shook. Later, at an anarcho-punk settlement (Bilgabar), she gains a following that helps to bolster her sense of security, and weirdly enough this helps to teach her about restraint and responsibility with her powers. Emotional Complexes: Often feels detached from situations thanks to a lifetime of abstraction from regular people, and years of being able to leave a situation when it got tough. Her lack of restraint and selfishness are rooted in a lot of bottled up frustration and feelings of impotence, and fear of losing her voice and powers. Absolutely terrified of being powerless or ignored.

Relationships-

Harker: At the beginning of the narrative, Tony mostly just feels sorry for Harker. She’s loud and clumsy and rude, but she’s in a hard situation and that’s likely to stunt anyone. That said, she’d be more sympathetic if Harker rose to the occasion. As the story progresses, they get closer, Tony takes on a kind of older sister role and tries to both embolden Harker and get her to be more decisive/quick, and also nurtures a concern for her safety. At the end, as Harker’s risen to the occasion and become a pretty formidable fighter, Tony becomes incredibly proud of her, and makes a consistent effort to remind Harker that she’s come a long way and no longer has to feel like a liability. Cress: Best friends at the start of the story. Cress offered a job where Tony’s lack of voice wasn’t a glaring disadvantage, respected, supported and included her for years. As the narrative progresses, tensions rise between them as Tony behaves more erratically, contradicting Cress’ strong and pragmatic leadership, at the very least mitigated by Tony’s sense of loyalty and strong fighting skills. By the end of the narrative, Cress has come to respect that Tony’s her own person and a different one to who she spent those years working with. They’re no less close, but their relationship has changed, and Cress is learning to respect the new voice. Abbo (best friend): Tony’s always liked Abbo. He’s a kindhearted man who tries to help everyone, although she’s not a fan of his doormat-ish nature at all, she wishes he had more strength of character. Her respect for him goes up across the narrative as he learns to take the initiative and stand up for himself, and acknowledge his emotions. By the end, he’s almost a different person. He’s decisive, bold, he looks wild and happy and Tony identifies a lot with that. Scouts: The scouts are weird. They’re all like ten years old, but they’re running a military hierarchy? Fuck that noise. Mercy and Amira are cool, but the rest are a little too 1964 for Tony. Kremboid: This place is great. Bart pisses charm and it takes a lot to see past that, but he’s a genuinely good guy. The locals aren’t the most refined, and if you don’t have the means to defend yourself you probably don’t fancy spending your summer here, but for Tony it’s a comfortably rough place where she’s neither marginalised or feared. Jort: Fuck this place sideways. It’s a complete fucking waste of agriculture and commerce, because it’s full of xenophobic crazies. Thanks for the witchhunt and the cinnamon roles. Union: Cool, but Jesus is this place big. Hard to feel like Billy Big Bollocks when you’re getting lost every half an hour. Still Buddy is a cool as hell governess, Father Duck is a good friend, and when they got there, Harker finally seemed at ease. Bilgabar: This place is just home. Tony’s people are here, the people who really trust and love her, people who aren’t scared of her and look to her like some kind of matriarchal den mother. But it’s not like she’s being taken advantage of, but she wants to take care of these people. And she learned how to be a leader, not just a loose cannon/wild card edgelord

Backstory- Tony was born to a middle class French Canadian family in April 1992. Her life really began in 2005 when she came to understand that she wasn’t a boy, and began to transition, leaving behind her deadname, but surprisingly few members of her family. Sadly, Tony had always been mute. She has no memory of being able to speak, although her hearing and understanding of words is totally fine, leaving her with this impression that she had a voice at some point, although nobody recalls or believes this. Tony’s family, in light of her inability to speak, wanted to keep her at home and support her financially, but this idea upset her deeply. She hated the idea of being dependent or treated as an invalid, so she broke out on her own. Now, she was mute. So despite living independently she was still financially dependent for about six months (age 20,) before being employed at a real-estate company. She communicated through sign language to get her job done, and was reasonably good at it, but she received a lot of criticism from her colleagues, mostly down to her lack of voice, coupled with transphobic office mates who deliberately excluded her from events. After two years at the company she was assigned a bigoted partner, Darren, and it became clear that everyone wanted her to either get fired or quit. Darren purposely iced her out during viewings and started losing sales, and within a year they were on the edge of being let go. On their last chance, Tony decided she’d had enough and walked out, leaving Darren to go get fired on his own. During her time at the real-estate business, her family had suffered some money troubles, so she didn’t feel comfortable telling them she’d quit. A month later, with £100 left to her name, an ambitious job application came back confirming an interview- Research assistant for Dr Cress Abassi. She spent the next three years as her friend and colleague.

Relatives- Mother: Clementine. A mothery mother, doting and involved to a fault. Not the cleverest, but more than makes up for it with determination and open-heartedness. Father: Louis. A silly, eccentric man who fucking loves his food and his music. Adores his kids but not the best decision maker, and some crap investments led to their money troubles. Sister: Claire. Not super close with Tony, doesn’t fully understand the reasoning behind her transition, but does her best to support her and, when she finds out Tony’s missing, starts trying to find out more about the trans experience/community, becoming obsessed with finding her sister.

Faves- Sweet tooth- hates chocolate but loves gummies, hard candy, bubblegum. Really wants to like art house movies but doesn’t always get them. Actually more of a collective, music wise. Big fan of Edgar Wright. Likes all food except for nuts, because they’re a snack food not a fucking ingredient.

Hates- Nuts in meals. Chocolate, Turkish Delight, Superhero Movies, Chick Flicks, country music.

Fears- Being powerless. Being ridiculed. Going home after spending time in the Archives. Being alone. Losing her voice again. Not a fan of deep ocean.

Hopes- To live in the Archives forever. To fight the Eldritch horror and win. To go back to Bilgabar to live. To keep everyone safe.

Dreams- Of living a life without feeling like a burden, independent but with people she cares about and can rely on all around her.

Attracted To- Women. She feels like butch women should be her thing, but to be frank, she absolutely adores women who are shy or silly, she thinks they’re cute as fuck.

Aesthetic- Punk. Lots of leather and metal, beaten up. If she was building a ship she’d make it out of scratched sheet metal with spikes and other non-aerodynamic things. Muddy face, bitten nails with chipped polish.

Lovers- Vivette, met in Jort, one nighter, nothing really in common. Cali, met in the Union, a potential romance that she actually invests in but Cali balks when she sees her powers. Finally, Yana, met in Bilgabar. A love/hate relationship, combative, lots of emotional tension and unspoken feelings.

Skills- Spellcasting, healing, sensing magic, sneaking, intimidation, manipulation, good in a crisis.

Job History- Real Estate, Research assistant.

Pet Peeves- People who lie for convenience or because they don’t want to confront a problem. People who let their lack of backbone affect other people. Children. Co-dependent people. Needy/beggy people. People who refuse to help unless they get their own way.

Self Image- Generally doesn’t think about it. When she does, she ends up conflicted between her lack of foresight/consideration and the fact that she’s almost always right about a situation. After Bilgabar, her self image improves.

Insecurities- Being called out on her mistakes. Doesn’t like her flat chest, isn’t a fan of her nose, worries that women and friends find her unapproachable.

Addictions- Likes a good smoke now and again, drinks heavily if she’s having a rough day but stays on top of it.

Scent- Leather, light perfume

Gait- Light-footed, waify, if she doesn’t want she can go unnoticed, but is also capable of establishing a presence.

Voice- TALKS IN BLOCK CAPITALS IN BOLD. LOTS OF CURSING. LOTS OF CONTRACTIONS.

To Get What She Wants- She’s more than willing to kill people she knows deserve it, to steal or destroy, or to generally threaten people.

Draws the Line At- Harming innocents or victims. These people have her complete protection, and she takes a hard stance against prejudice or sex-based violence, or anything that would harm an innocent.

She didn’t realise that she would- Kill so freely. Even with a code of ethics, she kills scores of people in battle and feels no remorse.

She didn’t realise that she couldn’t- talk to women. Considering she possesses the voice and powers of a fucking demon, her confidence and flirting ability around women is piss poor/

Lowest Point- After the Eldritch horror establishes control over a certain amount of the Archives, Tony loses her powers- even when they come back, they’re on the fritz. After getting to the union and getting pretty viciously dumped by Cali, she hits a low point and starts lashing out.

Highest Peak- When she and her following at Bilgabar are able to fight off an attack from EH and some low-level demons.

Nemesis- Caulk. A naysayer at Bilgabar who tries to undermine her and question her ability to lead. But it’s through Caulk that she learns she can’t just murder people who pose and issue.

Trustee- Vince. Orange dude she meets in Jort, a nervous little guy who becomes a close friend, and joins her at Bilgabar. After the events of the novel, he becomes a penpal.

Allergies- Transphobes and dickheads

Most Ashamed Of- Her behaviour at the start of the novel, when she first gets her powers. She’s extremely reckless and puts everyone in danger. She also hates how things went in the Union with Cali, she feels like shit.

Most Proud Of- Her following. Harker, Abbo and Cress. How she’s grown, how she quit the RE company.

Secrets- Women are hard to talk to. She really doesn’t want to lose her voice. She’s not entirely sure about whether Corvonius is trustworthy. Some of the spells in her book that she’s said have run out, haven’t.

Deeper Secrets (never tell)- She still nurtures some unrequited love for Cali. She still has nightmares about her old life back home. She’s terrified that her parents and family will spend the rest of their lives looking for her. She’s also terrified that they won’t.

Tells Everyone- She’s trans, she’s a lesbian, fuck the establishment, fuck liars and cowards, fuck politicians.

Politics- Anarchist, but good at diplomacy.

Tactics- All out offensive, with time to plan she can effectively identify and attack weak points while conserving numbers, great under time pressure and is capable of throwing dozens of spells out if they’re down to the wire.

Hogwarts House- Slytherin.

VTMB Clan/Sect- Bruja/Tremere, Anarch

Inspiration- Amanda (DGHDA), Aubrey (TAZ), Persephone (WICDIV), P!nk

#writeblr #trans character #character development #original character #OC #LGBT writing #creative writing #writing #writer #write #creative writer #trans

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kotoriqueen · 6 years

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Wow, six months since my last update and oh my god, I apologize. Works just been a pain in the neck and a lot of things have been going on. But! I finally updated and I hope you guys like the two chapters I’m giving you!

“I like Keith,” Hunk repeats, what seems to be like the umpteenth time since he came to that realization. “Oh no. No no no!”

He’s panicking. Hunk did not do well with crushes. There’s a reason why they were called crushes: because your feelings always seemed to be crushed like grapes in the end. Crushed like grapes when they’re being made into a fine wine. His crushes never turned out to be anything more than a crush. Back when he was around eleven or twelve, back when everyone in school thought about how dreamy a boy was and how boys thought how pretty girls were. He thought how pretty this one girl was, with long, dark brown hair, who always wore her hair in a French style braid. Her eyes brown yet still sparkled, and Hunk’s eyes sparkled, too whenever their eyes met and whenever he heard her laugh.

Back then, Hunk was one of the smartest kids in his class, and the only time this girl noticed him was when she needed help with schoolwork. At the time, he just thought she liked him back, and with how many times they hung out at his house working on schoolwork, he thought they had something special. So he confesses to her after half a month of them hanging out, and she confesses she feels nothing for him and was just using him to get better grades. (“So my parents don’t take away my cell phone,” she had explained. “And now that my grades are up? I’m going back to ignoring you.”)

It had been the worst thing that had happened to Hunk, his heart broken into a million pieces. He didn’t show up to school for a week because of that, and never wanted to confront the girl again. Nor did he want to experience having another crush ever again.

Although he doesn’t want to experience having a crush, he unfortunately doesn’t get that wish. When he’s a freshmen in high school, he ends up crushing on a junior who is a cheerleader. Hunk goes with his gut and not his heart, and decides not to confront her about his crush. To this day he couldn’t figure out if it was out of fear of getting rejected, or fear of her boyfriend, a star football player who had muscles bigger than Hunk’s head who would most likely crush his body much like his feelings if he found out about Hunk’s crush on his cheerleader girlfriend.

He’s also had a crush on Lance, but that was short lived and he had told Lance about it before back when the feeling had faded away. Lance wondered why Hunk didn’t tell him sooner, and Hunk admitted that he thought his feelings for Lance would ruin their friendship in some sort of way and would rather not risk it. And to this day, they are the very best of friends, but Hunk can’t help but wonder how they would have turned out if he ever confessed to his best friend.

And Shay. Oh sweet Shay. Hunk meets her mid-sophomore year of high school, and when his eyes locked on her, his throat went dry and his heart raced. She was beautiful and smart, and befriended Hunk easily. It could be because she entered midway through sophomore year and needed someone to guide her through classes and be her tour guide through the school, and Hunk knew the school like the back of his hand, so it seemed like a perfect match for him to help her out.

Of course where there was a beautiful girl such as Shay, there was Lance, who teased him and tried to push him in the right direction. Hunk thought him and Shay were just friends, but Lance thought differently. Lance called himself the romance expert, and knew that Hunk and Shay liked each other so much that they belonged together. Hunk tried his best to push the crush aside, and make himself think that what he and Shay said was just a simple friendship and nothing more than that.

Er, well, that was hard to push away and he keeps in contact with Shay even now and each time they talk, it seems like his crush blossoms back up at the worst times.

But, enough about his past crushes – back to Keith. He can’t have a crush on Keith. They’re roommates, and his feelings will just make things awkward between the two of them. Even if he’s not open about his feelings, Hunk just knows he’s going to make his feelings seem obvious. Keith’s smart, he’ll figure him out in no time at all! And now Hunk’s panicking more, because – well, because! There’s lots of reasons! What if Keith didn’t like guys? Or maybe Keith liked someone else? Or no one else? What if he was aromantic? Which, that would be fine, too. Hunk would accept Keith for who he was, but Hunk’s crush made Keith out himself about his sexuality, Hunk would feel so horrible. What if Keith wasn’t ready to out himself at that time? What if he was nervous about how others would react? And then it would be even more awkward because, even though Hunk would accept Keith for it, what if Keith thought that Hunk hated him because of his sexuality? There’s just so many possibilities--

“Hunk? Buddy?” comes Lance voice from the doorway, snapping Hunk out of his thoughts. “You’ve been here for a long time. Keith came out of the room and started talking to us and said you were making him soup? It shouldn’t take that long, should it?”

“Keith came out of the room? He should be resting--” Hunk ignores everything else. “He’s still sick, and – and he can infect you guys! I don’t want you guys to end up getting sick, too.”

“Pidge says I’m too stupid to catch colds.”

“Lance, man, you know that’s not true.”

“Oh, I know it’s not true. I’m really smart, and I know that, believe me. I’m just trying to prove a point.” Lance shrugs, then folds his arms over his chest. “So, tell me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing?” Hunk responds, but that response isn’t good enough for one Lance McClain. His best friend can read him like a book. Knowing Lance won’t leave him alone otherwise, Hunk lets out a sigh of defeat. “Okay. Okay. I may be panicking a little because, well, I realized I have a crush.. on Keith..”

“Seriously?” Lance raises an eyebrow, eyes widening a little. Hunk nods, face flushed, and that reaction is making Lance smirk. “Well look at you admitting it so soon! Now if you only did that with Shay.”

“Shay was just a friend, Lance!”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway.. when are you going to tell him?”

“Uh, never?” Hunk turns back to making the soup, opening the can and pouring it into a saucepan. He could just feel the look Lance was giving him. “Look, Lance. I don’t want to make things awkward between Keith and I, okay? What if he doesn’t swing that way? I’d rather just leave my feelings trapped inside me like I’ve done all my life and I turned out fine.”

Hunk can hear Lance sigh from behind him, “No. No you didn’t. Hunk, buddy, I’m your best friend and I can tell crushes make you go crazy. Well, crushes do that to you, but you panic and decide that keeping it to yourself is the best thing to do. What happens if Keith actually likes you? You won’t ever know if you don’t confess.”

“And I won’t know he doesn’t like me if I don’t ever say it.”

“Hunk-”

“This conversation is over, Lance.”

Lance frowns at his best friend but decides not to push Hunk to confess any longer. He turns and walks out of the kitchen, but not before he stops at the doorway and turns his head over his shoulder, letting a sigh before he continues walking out. He feels for his best friend, honestly. All the times Lance has confessed to a girl or a guy and ended up getting shut down in the past really broke his heart. And all the pick up lines he has used to get giggles and smacks in return made him think that he would never find someone who was right. And then he met Pidge; the girl that is bad ass and cocky. She’s smart and yet she gets flustered over how Lance shows his love. Plus they can joke around a lot, and be comfortable around one another by being themselves when, if he ever did that with someone else, they might look at him weird. He’s pretty thankful he has Pidge in his life honestly. And when he goes back to the couch, Keith had left, leaving the couch to Pidge who laid on it, taking up the seats. That didn’t bother Lance any, as he moved towards there and got comfortable right on top of Pidge, laying on her smaller body and arms wrapped around her, his head on her chest. Needless to say Pidge looks him with a raised eyebrow and flushed cheeks.

“Lance? What are you doing?”

“Nothin’. Just snuggling with my girlfriend.” Lance mutters, shifting to get more comfortable. “I just realized how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

Pidge’s jaw drops, and strangled noises came out of her mouth. She wants to say something – anything! But she can’t find the right words. She wants to say the feeling is mutual, but the last time she said something romantic, Lance never let her go. So, instead, she looks over to the side, and moves her hand to run his fingers through Lance’s short hair, softly petting the top of his head. Lance stiffens at this before he smiles wide, then pushes himself up to instead nuzzle his face into Pidge’s neck. At this, Pidge squeaks.

“Lance! That tickles!”

“Aw, but I love you, my perfect Pidgeon.” Lance coos, planting a wet kiss on Pidge’s jawline. “And you can’t deny it, because the little head petting you just did makes me know you feel the same way!”

“How did you get that from head petting?!”

“I just know love when I see it.” And he does, considering the conversation he just had with Hunk.

~☆~

After Hunk snapped out of his thoughts, he went back to making Keith’s soup. It doesn’t take much longer, and he pours it into a bowl and grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge, carrying everything on a tray back into his own room. He walks by the couch, where Lance and Pidge are snuggling. Well, it’s more Lance snuggling Pidge, but they looked cute like that and Pidge had no complaints. He softly smiles at the two of them as he makes away to Keith, down the hall and opening the door with one hand. To his surprise, Keith’s sitting on Hunk’s bed, back up against the wall and head tilted back. He can tell Keith’s eyes are shut, and Hunk wonders if he’s sleeping sitting up – which can’t be comfortable honestly. But that theory goes right through the window after Hunk shuts the door and the noise makes Keith open his eyes and move his head to make eye contact at Hunk.

Wow. Hunk never realized how pretty Keith’s eyes were until now. His eyes are dark, yet so bright. It’s like a thousand galaxies in Keith’s eyes and they sparkle like the stars. Plus, they were kind of mysterious like space itself, which is fitting for Keith. He’s not exactly mysterious, per-say, but there’s so many things Hunk didn’t know about Keith and he’s sure Keith is the same way. He means – well, they started off as roommates and now suddenly they’re acting like the best of friends and Hunk hasn’t even unlocked level seven of Keith’s friendship level. Hunk takes a deep breath after getting mesmerized by Keith’s eyes – god damn, how did that line go? Eyes so blue, you’re lost at sea? Except for Hunk, he could get lost in space by looking into Keith’s eyes.

“Hunk?” Keith looks a little concerned, his fact soft and looking at Hunk with a confused look. “You okay?”

“I should be asking you that.” Hunk walks over to the bed, setting the tray onto it, right by Keith. Keith eyes it for a moment before sitting more comfortable, taking the tray and setting it on his lap. “I hear you spent time with Lance and Pidge. How was that?”

“Mm.. I thought I had the energy to deal with those two, but I guess not.” Keith responds with a shrug, opening the bottle of water and practically chugging down half of it. “As soon as I went out there, the loudness caused me to get a headache so I came back to relax to get rid of it.”

“Oh, sorry. I can leave, if you want?”

“No, it’s fine. After you came in, it seems like all my pain went away?”

Hunk feels heat blossom on his cheeks. Is he coming down with a fever now? He must be. He’s been around a sick Keith after all. He must have caught something from him. Hunk laughs nervously, and wonders if him being flustered is obvious. He rubs the back of his neck and watches as Keith sips the soup from the bowl instead of using a spoon. He must have been hungry, and Hunk’s a little glad Keith has enough strength to eat considering how he was before. He smiles softly and decides to pull out his desk chair to sit across the bed.

“So,” Keith finally speaks up again after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “did I.. say anything weird when my fever was extremely high?”

“Uh? Not really? What really classifies as weird?” Hunk raises an eyebrow, leaning back in the chair as he thought. “You said something cute though. You named your hippo after me. Saying it reminds you of me because it makes you warm?”

Now it’s Keith’s turn to turn red. His face blossoms into red and he goes quiet for a moment. Did he seriously say that? Out loud?! Oh god, he made a complete fool of himself while he was sick. He should have never had gotten that bad. He swallows, covering his face with a hand, averting his eyes away from Hunk. His embarrassment is really obvious, but Hunk makes no movements or sounds whatsoever, even when Keith thought this guy would burst out laughing because of it. He takes in a deep breath, to try to calm himself down. He really can’t believe he said that!

“Uh.. how much do I have to beg you to ask you to forget about that?”

“Not much, or not at all, really? I can forget about it, if you want.” Hunk shrugs. “I won’t tell anyone, though. So it can just be kept between you and me.”

“G..good. Thanks..”

“I’ll leave you alone for now,” Hunk gets up, pushing his desk chair back. “You just eat and relax. I’ll come back to check on you, alright?”

“Yeah.” Keith is silent for a moment as he watches Hunk going to leave but Keith calls out to him, making Hunk freeze at the door. “H-hey, Hunk? I.. really appreciate how much you’re doing for me while I’m sick. I know I said I’d owe you with the Five Lions, but I just--”

“Keith, relax. I don’t expect anything in return. I just want you to get better, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

~☆~

Keith spent all Sunday in bed, and when he wakes up Monday morning to his alarm, he groans. He spent all of Sunday in bed, and now his body is sore for how much he was in bed. He reaches for his phone to shut off his alarm, and moves to get out of bed, taking a moment to realize he’s still in Hunk’s bed. He’s wondering where Hunk slept last night, and when Keith gets up out of bed and leaves the bedroom, he looks around for Hunk. He finds him on the couch, practically falling off of it because of how big of a guy Hunk was and how small the couch was. Keith frowns, and he feels guilty for getting sick and taking up Hunk’s bed. He could have moved him! Or slept in his bed! He didn’t have to take the couch.

He still feels awful. He doesn’t want to admit it, because he wants to go to class. He’s afraid that if he doesn’t go, he’ll miss something important, but he’ll just message his teachers later on through their contact information on his syllabus to ask if he missed something important. He knows messaging Slav would be the hardest, because he seems like the type of guy who would shame you for missing class even when you’re dying. But he’d never know for sure unless he messages him, but he’ll eat something first and get to that.

He glances over at Hunk on his way to the kitchen, wondering if he should wake him up and have him get into his bed, but it’s also infected with Keith’s germs, so maybe after he eats, he’ll wash Hunk’s bed set first, and then message his teachers. It can’t be comfortable for Hunk to sleep on the couch, and Keith’s assuming Hunk has classes so he’s going to wake up with back pain later and that won’t be fun to deal with.

When he gets into the kitchen, he first goes to the fridge, and before he opens the fridge door, he takes notice at the little magnets and the notepad on the freezer door. He never noticed how much Hunk decorated the place, and it’s really different than how Shiro decorated his place. And while Keith prefers not to have little things and his basic essentials, something about how Hunk decorates makes Keith’s chest feels warm and a smile tug at his lips. Another thing he notices is a note on the fridge door; it’s a white piece of paper with a colourful border which, at first glance, is just a pastel rainbow but upon closer inspection, the border is entirely made of macaroons and Keith finds it somehow cute that Hunk has paper like this. The note is held on by a simple, silver magnet, and on the note, it reads:

Keith, I had a feeling you’ll wake up to your alarm and go to class, but before you go, please eat what I made you. There’s a bowl of fruit and some pancakes – just pop the pancakes in the microwave for thirty seconds and they’ll be good! If you can’t finish everything, don’t worry about it. I just hope you eat something. -Hunk

Keith has to put a hand to his mouth, as if to muffle the ‘oh my god’ that leaves his mouth. He takes the note off the fridge and sticks it in his pocket, the opens the fridge door, seeing the food Hunk left for him. He does as Hunk says on his note and pops his pancakes in the microwave and decides to eat them without any butter or syrup. They tasted so good, and the fruit Hunk prepared was cut up apples and some grapes, plus some strawberries which had been lightly dusted with sugar. He sees the medicine Hunk left out, and makes sure he reads the bottle so he takes the daytime dose of it, and he washes the food and medicine down with orange juice before making way back to the bedroom – Hunk’s bedroom.

Keith’s really grateful for everything Hunk has done for him. He didn’t have to – hell, he didn’t even have to talk to Keith. And yet, the first day they met, he introduced himself and since then, Hunk had been nice to him and has been his friend.

..They.. were friends right? Keith’s pretty sure he and Hunk are friends. He feels like he should ask, but he doesn’t know if it would be wrong to ask something like that. Keith decides to keep that thought in the back of his head as he pulls the bed set off of Hunk’s bed and gathers it all to go wash it. The laundry room is down the hall, and he wonders who else is awake at this hour or if anyone else is washing. God, he hopes no one gives him suspicious looks if he’s washing a bed set so early in the morning.

Thankfully, when he gets there, there’s one other person and they pay no mind to Keith and his arms full of sheets. Keith shoves them in the available washing machine, puts some detergent in, and lets the machine do its work. He decides to stay there while it does its job, and after everything is dry, Keith folds everything up and carries it back to the dorm room where he finds the couch empty, the blanket folded and left on the couch, and lights on. Keith blinks, and walks to Hunk’s room, setting the bed set down on the mattress and walking back out. He hears the shower running in the bathroom, so that must be where Hunk is right now.

“Well, duh, Keith,” Keith says to himself as he goes back to his own room, to his closet so he could change. Maybe he should shower once Hunk was done. “Who else would be using the shower besides Hunk?”

Keith flops down on his computer chair, breathing a sigh of relief. It feels good to be back in his room, back at his desk. He brings his laptop closer and starts it up, and from there, he opens his e-mail, typing out messages to his teachers. They’re plain and simple, and he apologizes for missing class and promises he’d be there tomorrow because he should feel a bit more better to get through a full school day. Once his e-mails are sent, he pushes back from his desk, turning in his chair and reaching for his phone, going through his text messages. Shiro has sent him a few messages, asking him how he was, and Keith goes ahead and messages him back even though it’s been hours since Shiro got a response from him.

“Good to see you’re awake.”

Keith looks up, seeing Hunk in the doorway, dressed in cargo pants and a shirt with a three-fourths sleeve. There’s a towel around his neck, which makes Keith believe Hunk’s hair is still wet, if not a little damp.

“And you didn’t go to class today,” Hunk also points out, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the frame of Keith’s bedroom door. “How do you feel?”

“Fine,” Keith responds at first, but Hunk looks like he expects more of an answer. “I think my fever is gone? I didn’t wake up feeling like death, so..”

Hunk steps over to feel Keith’s forehead, his hand going underneath Keith’s bangs which makes Keith’s cheeks heat up this time instead of his whole body freezing at the action, “You still feel a little warm, but it’s not as concerning as before. Did you eat?”

“I.. I was told I always had a higher temperature than most people..” Keith says with a shrug. “I ate, and I took more medicine. I also went ahead and washed your bed set for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that! You’re still sick, after all. Plus, just because I took care of you, doesn’t mean you had to wash my sheets?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to make you wash sheets infected with my sick germs.”

“Okay, point taken.” Hunk says with a laugh, and Keith swears his heart just skipped a beat. “I’m about to head to class. Did you need anything before I go?”

“No. No, I’m good.”

“I’ll see you later then.”

Hunk leaves Keith’s room to finish getting ready and Keith lets out a breath. He doesn’t know what’s going on with him, honestly. He bets he’s just overly thankful for everything Hunk has done for him but doesn’t know how to come out and say it. He feels as if just thanking him over and over just makes him sound like a broken record. Maybe he should make him something, as a thank you, and give it to him next week when they go to the Five Lions. Which reminds him he should look up the place, just to have a better idea of what he’s expecting when he goes there with Hunk. He’s pretty sure it’s not a fancy place, considering that’s where they were going to be studying at before Keith went and got sick.

Which.. now he has to make that up to Lance and Pidge as well. Everything was canceled because he got sick and Hunk decided to take care of him. He should probably do something for them, as well, even though he’s sure Pidge will wave it off as nothing because her and Keith have been friends for so long and understand when plans need to be canceled.

He remembers one day, he arrived at Pidge’s house so they could go to the arcade but Pidge was having a day where she didn’t really feel like going out or have human interactions outside of her family and her closer friends so Keith and her stayed in her room and played games and ate junk food for the day. And one time, Keith felt the same way and Pidge didn’t mind, and even slapped Keith for apologizing so much for it.

But.. Lance? He doesn’t know Lance so well, so he has to make it up to him somehow. He just doesn’t know how yet. Ah, well, he’ll figure it out.

~☆~

It doesn’t take much longer for Keith to get better. He’s a hundred percent better by Wednesday morning, and by then, he has caught up with what everyone else is talking about since Monday. He even takes in an extra shift at the bookstore, where he’s working on the sales floor and stocking some merchandise, and going to ring up students when he’s needed. It goes from busy, to steady, to finally slow when he was an hour left on his shift. He raises his arms over his head, stretching a little, making sure his body is awake enough when he gets back to the dorms so he could do some of his schoolwork. He might need some coffee after this – or actually, he could go for coffee now, but he could wait another hour for it.

“Yo, Mullet!”

Keith blinks, turning his head to make eye contact with Lance, and Keith raises an eyebrow in confusion, “Are you talking to me?”

“Uh, yeah? No one else would have a haircut like yours,” Lance responds as he steps closer to Keith. “What are you up to tonight?”

“Coffee and schoolwork. Why?”

“Well, you missed our study session because you were sick, and both Pidge and Hunk are busy tonight, so I figured you and I could hang out?” Lance says with a shrug. “I have a boatload of schoolwork to do, too, so we can chill at the coffee shop on campus.”

Again, Keith blinks, and again, that same look of confusion is on his face. Lance wants to hang out with him? Usually the only time Keith hangs out with Lance is if he’s with Pidge, so he doesn’t know how well this hang out will go since Keith’s not talkative. But.. but Shiro is always telling him to make new friends if he could, or get to know people better, so maybe Keith should take his advice this time around. He thinks about it for a moment longer before nodding.

“Sure, why not.” Keith shrugs as he puts a stack of books on the shelf in front of him. “I get off in an hour, so either hang out here if you want or I’ll meet up with you at the coffee shop.”

“I’ll stick around. I have a few things I need to buy anyway.”

And with that, Lance turns away, on the search for the items he has to buy while Keith gets back to work. A couple of students come up to him asking questions, and he answers them or even shows them where items were. Before he knew it, his hour was up and he gets ready to meet up with Lance. Lance was just checking out when Keith leaves the back room, and after Lance gets items and his wallet put away, he wraps an arm around Keith, making him stiffen at the touch but Lance shows no sign of moving.

They walk like this to the coffee shop on campus, and after they ordered and sit down, Lance is going through his bag to get his schoolwork out, while Keith has his bag on his lap doing the same but he stops to think. Lance.. is Hunk’s best friend, so maybe he could answer some questions that Keith is too nervous to ask Hunk himself. He chews on his lip, and he looks up at Lance, who is still going through his bag but feels Keith’s stare so he looks up.

“What’s up, man?”

“I just..” Keith doesn’t know how to put his question in better words, so he just comes out and says it. “Why is Hunk the way he is?”

Lance raises an eyebrow, looking a little offended at the question, “What do you mean?”

“I mean-- It’s not to sound wrong, or anything, I appreciate everything he’s done for me, I just..” Keith starts to explain and Lance’s offended look fades. “He’s so nice to me? Is he like this with everyone? Or am I a special case?”

“Oh, I get what you mean,” Lance stops going through his bag and leans back in his chair. “I’ve known Hunk since like.. first grade? He was always shy and nervous around people and I was the one who asked him to be his friend. He’s the ‘treat others how you want to be treated’ type. But who isn’t?”

“R..right.”

“I wouldn’t say you’re a special case?” Lance continues further. “He’s like that with a lot of people. He likes helping others, and he looks out for his friends. That’s just how he is, Keith.”

“Alright..”

Lance leans over the table, elbow the tables surface and his cheek in the palm of his hand, “Something else is bothering you. What is it?”

“I--” Keith pauses for a moment. He doesn’t even know where to start on what’s bothering him. His whole past was complete shit, and he never really had a friend before so he didn’t know if Hunk was just nice to get something out of Keith or truly just wanted to be friends. Keith stares down at the table, his coffee in his hands. “..Nothing. Hunk.. Hunk is really my friend though.. right?”

“Uh, yeah? We all are, dude,” Lance responds with a grin, then that fades into a frown and his eyebrows raise. “Why? Do you not want to be friends with us?”

“No! No, I do. I just..” Enough with beating around the bush. Keith takes in a deep breath and looks back up at Lance. “I just never really had friends before? I like it, I really do, but more people go and spread rumours about me than to befriend me right away?”

“That’s just how people are. Hunk’s not like that and neither are we.” Though Lance won’t admit he has believed some of the rumours about Keith before, but now he’s gotten a chance to know him a little better, he’d rather defend him now than believe the rumours. “Now, enough of this depressing chit-chat. We have work to do!”

At this, Keith’s lips twitch into a faint smile, “Yeah. We do, don’t we.”

~☆~

It seemed like he and Lance were in that coffee shop for hours. But a few more cups of coffee and two pastries later for each of them, they finally finished the work. Both of them needed help in some subjects, and they took breaks to talk a little more. Keith thought it was nice to know Pidge’s boyfriend a little better, and Lance felt the same way honestly. Keith lets out a breath as he enters his and Hunk’s shared dorm room, smelling something cooking, and even though he drank so much coffee and ate two pastries, his stomach still growls at the scent. He rests a hand on his stomach and goes to his room, plopping his bag down on his desk chair. He takes his shirt off, throwing it into his mesh hamper, and goes through his closet to get a new one.

That’s when Hunk walks in, sees Keith shirtless, and his face immediately goes red.

“Oh-- sorry! Sorry, I didn’t know you were changing!” Hunk blurts out, turning his head away.

Keith snorts, “Hunk, it’s fine. We’re both guys.” He reaches for a fresh shirt and slips it on over his head in seconds. “Did you need something?”

“Uh, yeah-- well, no? Not exactly?” Hunk says, turning back once he knows it’s clear to look back at Keith. “I made dinner if you want some? Unless you got something to eat already? You’re back pretty late.”

“Lance wanted to hang out after I finished the shift I took up at the bookstore,” Keith tells him. “We went to a coffee shop, and I drank too much coffee, but I can eat.”

Can he? Can he eat again after all that coffee and the two pastries? Hunk’s food was just too good for him to pass up, and if it makes Hunk happy to know he’s eating well, Keith will do it. And when Keith looks back at Hunk, he sees that beaming smile and Keith feels his heart skip a beat. Something about Hunk’s smile makes him incredibly happy, and makes him know he could get through the day, even if something bad happens, because Hunk’s smile makes up for it. He realizes how.. sweet and romantic that sounds, but he’s pretty sure he’s not the only one who has thought that.

..Right? He can’t be the only one who has thought this.

Hunk leads him to the kitchen, where they both sit down to eat, and being in front of the food makes Keith’s stomach growl once again, and Hunk laughs at it – he fucking laughs and Keith feels his face heat up from embarrassment. Hunk sets down a plate of food in front of him, which looks like lasagna, with a side of green beans and some mashed potatoes, and everything just looks so good that Keith digs right in. Even though midway into the meal, his stomach is telling him to stop, and yet, he continues to force it down anyway, because he can’t see himself wasting the food, and if he says he doesn’t want anymore, Hunk might assume he didn’t like it and he definitely loves Hunk’s cooking.

Shiro wasn’t a great cook, so he and Keith mostly had take out or microwavable dinners or even pizza you just throw into the oven before Keith started cooking simple meals. Though he’s had his fair share of cooking disasters, and he’d rather not risk burning down a dorm by cooking himself which is why his food is normally something you just pop in the microwave.

Once Keith finishes his food, he feels so full that now he’s tired, and he should probably sleep, but it’s not best to sleep after you just eat so he’ll have to do something before his body digests his dinner.

“I can tell you liked it,” Hunk says as he picks up Keith’s plate and eating utensils and moves to the sink. “Did you want dessert? I made dessert, too.”

Say no, Keith. You don’t need this. “..Uh, sure? Just a little bit.” is Keith’s response instead of listening to his brain and he mentally smacks himself. “What did you make?”

“Just some brownies! Nothing special.”

Keith breathes a sigh of relief that it isn’t a cake or a cupcake, and Hunk brings over a brownie that has fudge icing on it. Although Hunk claimed it was nothing special, the sweetness of the brownie and the icing made Keith feel a little sick after a couple of bites, but he forced himself to eat anyhow because he will not turn down Hunk’s food. Hunk’s been so nice to Keith, and before Keith could repay him back after all the things he’s done for him, he’ll just force himself to eat everything Hunk makes even if it makes him explode. (Which.. he doesn’t think is possible, and yet, he still has that thought.)

His stomach is hating him by the time he finishes the brownie. It’s asking him why he ate so much – why he didn’t deny any of the food that was given him, and he knows he’ll be suffering from it later but he just had to. He’s going to have to learn how to cook for Hunk at some point so he could return the favor. But, as he thought about it, he will never be as good of a cook as Hunk. The least he could do is try, and even if he burned pasta before – which, he doesn’t know how it’s possible, but it happened – he could get better in time. Just.. he’d have to try it when Hunk wasn’t there, so he didn’t know Keith was cooking specifically for him.

“That was great, Hunk,” Keith finally says after he let his food settle a little bit. “Did you need help with putting any of this away?”

“Nah, I think I have it covered!” Hunk tells him, already putting the food into containers. “I’m going to send this over to Lance and Pidge – they probably haven’t eaten properly yet.”

Keith lets out a small chuckle and gives a little smile, “Alright. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

“Alright!”

Keith takes a bottle of water with him from the fridge before he heads to his room, where he flops on his bed instead, letting out a groan. He hasn’t eaten that good in like – well, forever! He remembers Pidge’s parents spoiled him with meals whenever he went to her house, or Pidge would bring leftovers when she came to see him, but Keith never ate this much. And when he and Shiro went out or ordered out, Keith normally didn’t eat much to begin with even though Shiro said he could order more if he wanted to. And yet, even with his stomach full, and his body telling him he’s going to regret eating so much, he’s still happy for some reason. And a little tired. Probably from all the food he ate.

At least his schoolwork is done. He supposes letting his body rest for a bit would be a good idea. His eyes drift shut and he starts breathing slowly, chest rising and falling with each breath.

“Keith, I’m heading over--” Hunk starts saying, going through the door of Keith’s bedroom, only to stop midway when he sees Keith sleeping on his bed. He freezes, and there’s a faint smile on Hunk’s lips as he approaches the bed, and fixes Keith so his head is laying on his pillows the blanket is over his body. “Sleep well, Keith.”

#Voltron #Heith #Hunk (Voltron)#Keith (Voltron)#College AU

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