#and makes it easier for people to visually see OH!! IT'S THIS FIC!! when it shows up in tags or on their dash

[demenior]

for something a little different, here’s a bunch of the ‘runner-ups’ in the stranger who was your self title card line up (plus the final version in the middle).

I really had no idea of what to do with this one going into it, other than the vibes I wanted was ‘kind of melencholy, but also hopeful’. Top left was the very first design I did and I like it a lot! But unfortunately it just felt very aesthetic and not at all tied to Eadwulf’s story.

From there I dabbled with the idea of using pictures of people- or parts of people (as seen in the top right)- and I liked the idea of trying to highlight Eadwulf’s black coat as a character piece as a big part of the story was inspired by the hashtag vibes of the Asha’man of the Wheel of Time series. This eventually led to the final design.

Bottom left was thrown together as ‘maybe?’ but upon finishing it just felt tacky.

Bottom right was nearly the winner, as I really liked the bared teeth on the dog with an open mouth like this, but ultimately I didn’t like the breed of dog to make it representitive of Eadwulf AND the final design had a bit more of the vibes I was going for and felt like a great blend of the aesthetic of Eadwulf being dangerous, but also his tender heart.

(also a reminder that we aren’t going to talk about the fact that the heart graphic is backwards bc i have the free canva account and theres only so much i can do lmao.)

[starcurtain]

I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?

I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:

I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."

I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™

Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.

Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:

Endearing vulnerability/helplessness

Gay ship tease

Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.

So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.

We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.

He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!

The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.

When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.

And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.

Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.

His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.

Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--

Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.

Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.

And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.

In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.

This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂

Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.

Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?

Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?

It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)

Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.

The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.

Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)

So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.

Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.

To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.

The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.

He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.

He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.

This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.

He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.

He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.

His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??

People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?

Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.

The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:

Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.

At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:

Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.

You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.

He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.

He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.

He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.

He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.

He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)

He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.

He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...

To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.

Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.

In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.

Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.

Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.

[quillofspirit]

2023 fic recs

If there's one thing to know about me, is that I love to read! and I love to share the good fics, so I figured I would put them all on one list💚

pssst! it's my first time doing anything like this, so if you have recommendations for the format, please do leave them in the comments or drop me a message! thanks xx

Key 🍬 fluff 🧯 spicy 🌡️ smut ⛈️ angst 🌪️ all

For people I have tagged, please let me know if there is anything you’d like me to add or remove — like a link to another account. It’ll be my pleasure☺️

Lord of the Rings (and related)

⛈️🧯Fuck the Forbidden pt. 1 by @entishramblings

Boromir x mermaidfem!oc Teens and Up but read the warnings carefully 9,500 words

Now I want mermaids in everything. why aren’t there mermaids in everything? The descriptions are so well done, everything is so vividly easy to visualize, oh I just loved it.

I am so hyped for pt 2!!

🍬⛈️ Healing Touch by @ass-deep-in-demons

Boromir x fem!oc Teens and Up 4,350 words

My film studies degree was very happy about the descriptions of movement in this one - it’s a little specific but hear me out. It’s much easier to see the actors playing the scene when it’s described this well! THAT ENDING, I have to say I joined Legolas, and I don’t have excuses.

I cannot wait to read the rest of the adventures of Joanna!

🍬 I Might Need to Kiss You by @fizzyxcustard

Thorin Oakenshield x fem!reader 400 words

I was squealing, this is so sweet. like the perfect little pick me up when you need a reminder, and Thorin is nothing if not a good king to his subjects 😇

🍬 Sweet Conversations by @glassgulls

Haldir x fem!reader Teens and Up 5,360 words

did I almost break my mouse when I clicked on this? noooo

Would I do it again? approximately 5 times since ☺️

Who doesn’t love sneaking around and kissing pretty elves, especially when they propose the idea so nicely… Just read it, you’re welcome

⛈️🧯Transformed by @sotwk

Thranduil’s son OC x fem!reader Teens and Up 2,400 words

There are at least two werewolves! When I tell you I read it three nights in a row, just to truly catch all the little things that made me go absolutely feral this so lovely to read. Yes, there’s gore (only a little bit) and there’s angst, but there’s also dialogue that would be made into gifs were it a movie.

Pirates of the Caribbeans

🌪️Catch the Wind by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

James Norrington x fem!oc Explicit 418,000 words

101 chapters of epic, pirates, and sweetness. The definition of you will suffer and you will like it. I finished this in like two days, because I couldn’t put it down, like a child on Halloween night going through their whole bag of candy.

⛈️🍬 Fallen Through Time by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

Catch the Wind AU Mature Ongoing; 34,000 words

12 Chapters so far, but it’s probably going to make me want to read everything about Theodora again. I am very normal about this character. 😌

Other fandoms

🌡️One of Those days by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x fem!reader Explicit 750 words

Sometimes you need to be taken care of, and sometimes its easier to take care of others.

🍬Patience by @velvetcloxds

Charlie Swan x fem!reader Just straight cuteness 600 words

A cute yet serious conversation with Charlie

🌡️That Takes Trust Darlin by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x transmasc!reader Explicit 1,950 words

It takes a lot of trust to tell a person about your desires, and even more when you spend your time catching villains.

🌪️ What Happens After You? by StrengthBeforeWeakness

Ominis Gaunt x fem!oc Mature 219,000 words

A badass Ravenclaw, sweet sweet Garreth, and dark!Sebastian. I am tempted to say it’s almost a Hogwarts Legacy AU because the lore in this fic is so incredible, it feels new again.

These are my headers and dividers, please do not use them.

[yestrday]

I recently read the newest edition to your hybrid au and !!! omg !!! it was REALLY good. your work never disappoints, whether it's a drabble or a full-fledged fic !! I really admire the route you're taking for some characters and their hybrid counterparts. I can see how much thought u put into it ^o^ and otter!xingqiu is sooo cute >_< I honestly thought he was going to be a dolphin since they're intelligent, but an otter makes sm sense now that I think about it :D

I was curious about this for awhile.. but the characters have animal characteristics while in their hybrid forms, right? like ajax has his little horn, and venti has wings (?). with that being said, since scara is a bird hybrid, wouldn't mc have been able to notice hes a hybrid upon first meeting him? since I assume his wings would be present? and could you possible give a further visual for ayato ;; you mentioned he had a fin, but does he also have legs? or is it like a fin coming off from his spine? (does that make sense ;;)

OH ALSO :3 do they inhabit little animal habits, like does aether purr in his hybrid form?

(sorry this is rly self indulgent pls forgive me 🙏)

hybrids have the ability to switch between their animal and human forms and everything in between!

their animal and hybrid forms take up the least energy, while maintaining a fully human form drains them of their energy fast! scara was in his full human form when you met him, hence mc couldn't tell what he was when they first met them!

when first meeting ayato, you meet him in his half-hybrid form— think a mermaid, but with a sawshark's fin and denticles. however, when he lounging around your home, he takes on a pair of legs for convenience, but has his tail coming off his spine for energy saving.

all your hybrids tend to take on a humanoid form in your house, as they're comfortable doing so and it's easier interacting with you. some traits they have include (click for an extensive list of their hybrid traits):

aether: cat tail and ears, and set of canines too! often insists on acting as unhybrid-like as possible because he thinks its a weakness (past trauma lmao) but he's very prone to purring when someone scratches him behind his ear. although he can be stoic, his tail is very expressive, and it often gives him away whenever the group is playing cards. prone to biting people when they annoy him << happens a lot

venti: a pair of wings and feathers around his legs and ears. think like a harpy for every bird hybrid on this list. he makes small little coos every now and then, especially when he's relaxed. sometimes is an idiot and forgets he has a human mouth so he just... pecks off the food from someone's hand sometimes.

kazuha: a fluffy tail and ears, along with his fluffy flying membrane too! when given the proper surface, kazuha will hang upside down when he's eating his food. when he's landing, he'll use his fluffy tail as a balancer, though he'll also wrap it around you to earn some cookie points :p he's often seen perching off trees or railings

xiao: a radiant set of feathers stem from the side of his head! he's vigilant most of the time, so only when he feels at ease does he let the wings show. he acts less hybrid-like from his peers, because being a mythical variant means he's less affected by his animal instincts. on the whole he acts... xiao, but he's actually very insecure about his feathers because they're not as nice as he'd like them to be.

scara: the smallest set of wings known to hybrid kind lmao. gets very insecure about it. very picky with his food and only eats the colorful kind ( read this and was like wow, very scara-like). makes a lot of clack clack noises that makes him sound annoyed (most of the time, it's true). since he barely has anything to offer, he reverts to his animal form to woo you with his cuteness.

heizou: again, a pair of (very expressive) wings and feathers jutting from his skin! has learned to overcome his jealousy and share (ural owls are monogamous). often jokingly swoops in for the smaller animals and 'eat' them. makes a lot of 'hoot hoot's when he's not paying attention.

ayato: has a fin coming out of his spine and denticles throughout his skin... and a killer smile. has an unnatural mouth make-up due to being a shark (is this ur kink guys). likes mudbaths thanks to his animal nature. jokingly acts biting smaller hybrids cuz he thinks its funny. (not so) jokingly bites you. he's not attracted to human blood, but he thinks the scent of yours is alluring.

childe: a horn and shimmering mottled skin. literally moans when you feel his horn it's kinda disgusting (it is also not an overexaggeration as the other hybrids believe, they really are that sensitive). would like you to ignore the fact that the tusk is a tooth when in his hybrid form. likes his seafood too much and ends up gorging on them whenever it's served.

xingqiu: otter ears, clawed hands and a cute tail! and some fur around his neck and legs. also.. sharp teeth. often sunning on the lake banks like the primadonna that he is. scents you and his favorite people (just chongyun & aether). reverts to his otter form to persuade you to do his bidding lol, crafty dude.

[zombubble]

From In Memory; In Truth Chapter 13:

“It’s my job to help make running the sect easier, right?” Mo Xuanyu asks. “Not your job, anymore,” Jin Guangyao says, “but a favor that Gege would appreciate greatly. Do you think you can keep a secret for me?” A jolt of something in Mo Xuanyu’s core, the words familiar in all the wrong ways. Oh, he feels sick. Really fucking sick. “Of course,” he says, closing his eyes. Breathing. “A-Yu? Have I upset you?” Jin Guangyao stops him, grabbing him by the shoulders. “Gege is sorry, he didn’t mean—” “I’m just… seeing things,” Mo Xuanyu says. “Sorry, I—I didn’t want to appear weak, but I…” “Oh. That’s… It’s okay. Gege doesn’t think less of you. Why don’t you rest? I’ll come see you later about everything; there’s no rush.” Nodding, Mo Xuanyu bows his thanks to his brother. Lets a-Zhen lead him away. Tries not to get sick while they walk because his mind is reeling and everything is cold and hot and he doesn’t—doesn’t know what—why—when this happened but something happened. Something that started with words much like those. Not for the first time, he fears the full, unknown extent of what he’s gotten himself into. Not for the last time, he tells himself to stay strong, that he needs to help, that he can do this.

Got this snippet in the post in time, but then I realized this was the perfect moment to go into how Mo Xuanyu is characterized/portrayed in this fic, and it ended up taking me some time to write that up.

Given how little we know of Mo Xuanyu's particular brand of neurodivergence in MDZS, I've decided to put him on the schizophrenia spectrum, he has psychotic episodes, but does not have paranoia, (and believe me, I'm doing literally everything in my power to do this with respect to schizophrenic and psychotic buds out there, I don't want to do any of you dirty with this, you deserve better). He does have auditory, olfactory, and visual hallucinations throughout the fic, which get worse over time as he is under more and more stress.

In this scene, however, he's also lying to his brother and playing it up so Jin Guangyao underestimates him for his own reasons.

CW for nonspecific mentions of sanism, ableism, and various forms of abuse and discussions of consent following this, as I am going into a little bit of detail about how I've chosen to portray Mo Xuanyu, so people know what to expect from this fic with him being such a major character.

The tl;dr is Mo Xuanyu is treated with dignity and respect by those working alongside him, and is given adult levels of agency throughout the fic's present timeline. His mental illness is acknowledged and described, but not made fun of within or by the narrative. It is not considered a character flaw, but a disability, and I've tried to portray it respectfully. While some characters are sanist/ableist both to and about him, they are not major characters, nor are they in control of him. There are mentions of past abuse, but he gets good medical care throughout the fic. He is an important character with major positive contributions, could not be removed or switched out for another without drastic changes, and gets the happy ending he deserves (without a magic cure).

More on how I'm handling Mo Xuanyu after the cut (a little spoilery, but I've kept it as vague as possible. See above content warnings):

I don't want to spoil the plot too much in public, though I'm happy to answer questions privately via message or ask, but I will say up front that Mo Xuanyu is, very intentionally on my part, given adult levels of agency throughout the fic in decisions both big and small.

There are (brief) mentions of him being treated badly in the past, including not giving consent (informed or otherwise) to medicine/medical procedures and other instances of abuse similar to canon, including being relocated and restrained against his will, but within the present timeline of the fic he is under the purview of the Nie Sect and working with a doctor with whom he has a good, mutually respectful relationship.

He makes his own decisions (and has established plans for what he wants done when he's unable to do so safely), gives informed consent to all instances of medication and relocation that happen during the present timeline of the fic itself, and is treated respectfully by the people he's working with. Like Jin Guangyao above, some people make ableist (and sanist) assumptions (and commentary) both to and about him, and he does personally lean into those assumptions for the purposes of making people underestimate him.

Those who are working with him and care about him only play up his mental illness with his prior input, consent and at his behest, and these instances are few, far between, for the purposes of the mission they're on, and never used as the butt of a joke, or done in a mocking way.

Mo Xuanyu has a solid, well-developed personality outside of his mental illness, though does talk casually and frankly about the symptoms he experiences, including hallucinations and his disconnect from reality. He doesn't enjoy having symptoms, but he does not have a self-pitying or self-loathing inner monologue. Though sometimes he tries to hide his symptoms from others (and, at times, fails), he does not make a habit of minimizing them (or exaggerating them) when he's describing them seriously.

When he does speak lightly of them, it's not mocking, and I intentionally avoided anything that sounded like it might come across as "LoL so random omg!" types of humor. Overall, though, he typically refuses to go into details with others, though his inner narration in his pov does, on occasion, describe what he's seeing, hearing, or smelling, without lingering too long on the descriptions.

His visual hallucinations edge more towards abject horror (monsters, things moving that shouldn't be moving in the ways they're moving, people looking dead/like ghosts with unnatural features (pure black, bleeding eyes, far too many sharp, non-human teeth, as a few examples)) instead of utilizing potentially-real facial/muscular/skeletal differences or movement disorders for shock value.

I do not portray him as someone bloodthirsty or irrational when it comes to killing. He wanted his family dead for the abuse they caused, he wants his brother dead (and wishes he didn't) for various shitty actions at various times. With everyone else, he's kind of just trying to keep to himself (or, when he can, be helpful to the people he gets along well with) and not get involved with any more conflict than he has to. He does not kill anyone in the course of the fic.

Jin Ling has a bit of trouble understanding at first, but does make efforts to be respectful and he improves over time. They end up growing close, and Jin Ling is not distrustful of Mo Xuanyu by the end of the story. The other juniors are similarly respectful.

The help Mo Xuanyu offers everyone is a) help only he could give, utilizing his skills and/or achievements specifically (e.g. making arrays/talismans a certain way, other forms of espionage that rely on his ability to lie and/or memorize information) and b) crucial to many of the successes they have. He is an essential member of the core cast of this fic, and it would be markedly changed if I were to remove him or switch him for someone else.

Mo Xuanyu does not die, nor does he get cured at the end of the fic. He ends up in a loving, mutually respectful relationship where his agency is respected, with a man who understands full well that loving Mo Xuanyu includes accepting his schizophrenia, psychosis, and the symptoms thereof. While Mo Xuanyu is doing better at the end than he was just before the end, it's because he's in a stable home and being treated by medical staff, rather than a magical cure.

[amemenojaku]

for the character ask prompt! what about Keiki?

General opinion/How much I care about them: She's a very solid character and surely part of the reason why WBaWC feels like one of the most-liked recent games! When the full version came out a lot of my friends and mutuals who were past touhou fans but had lost their interest came back thanks to that game specifically, so in my brain she's linked to that moment of shared happiness. I like how she's very much a classic god in terms of personality while being easier to reach than the others thanks to her role to the human spirits. I feel like she'd be easy to talk with, as long as you don't forget she's still a god of course, and I really like characters who act as a bridge of sort between others. She's also definitely unhinged under all that and it's fun to imagine situations where the politeness just goes out of the window.

A ship I love: (puts on my clown makeup again) My favorite Keiki ship is with Okina..... It's pretty high up there in my fav touhou pairings overall too lol. They're both loners and I tend to really enjoy romantic pairings where two people get to feel a bit less lonely together. I just think they'd get along really well! and I like their shared connection to art in general. The two of them crafting something special together is a nice image... It's also funny to imagine Keiki playing along Okina's boasting about her status and her powers as a secret god etc when Keiki is a god herself. She's Keiki's poor little meow meow!!! Oh and I also quite like Keiki/Mayumi too. I wish the fanon interpretation of them as parent/child would die down already... it's a bit sad that they didn't take off on the english speaking side as well as they did in the jp community even though literally everyone asks for more knight/princess wlw ships. It's Right There

A non-romantic relationship that I love: Gotta admit I haven't thought about her sphere of relationships much beyond the ones that also work as romances, but I love the implication that she's Eika's younger sibling if you follow the mythos. Keiki would probably be quite protective of Eika despite being the little sister... And with the recent addition of Hisami I'm really excited to see more fanworks with the characters based on the Nihonshoki/Kojiki (this better not monkeypaw on me). They need to have tea and chat about the old times!!!

The NOTP: It's Yachie/Keiki, sorry guys but I'm a yachisaki believer.....

My biggest headcanon about them: I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned that one in the past but the beast-shaped aura in her portrait looks like a familiar to me! Maybe some kind of fire spirit to help her crafting :)

An idea for a fanwork I would like to make/see about them: I'd like to read a good fic/comic where she interacts with the other beast leaders seriously... I'm so sad she didn't get proper dialogue with Saki or Yuuma despite them being as much of a threat as Yachie. As for something I would like to make myself... A visual retelling of some of Koda Rohan's works (especially Furyubutsu) but with Keiki as the protag is an idea I've had for 2-3 years but if I ever get to it, it'll probably just be little doodles :-)

Something that makes me think of them: Koda Rohan's work again lol (delusional)

[osaemu]

Do you have any advice for people who want to start up a blog for their fanfics?

ofc! i wasn't rly sure exactly what you meant so i kinda just dumped a bunch of random tips that i wish i had when i was first starting out, hope this helps!

to start off i'd recommend making a pinned post to organize your navi, especially the rules so you can filter out ppl you don't want interacting with u. it doesn't have to be fancy, just a couple dni criteria shd hopefully do the trick.

and if u want to expand ur reach, make sure u tag your posts properly. if it's a gojo x reader fic, use that tag. personally i wouldn't recommend tagging just "gojo" bc then your fic is also competing with a million gifs and one-liners for reach, and you'll get the audience you're looking for if you tag the x reader's or x you's.

also, if you're looking to get a bigger audience, it helps if your blog is visually pleasing! obviously the content matters more, but when it comes to attracting ppl, a little bit of organization and aesthetically pleasing setups do a lot of the heavy lifting :) if u need inspo, just browse around the tags and look at some blogs' themes. but make sure u don't steal anyone's layouts and always give credit where it's due!!

i think the whole credit thing is something i see around here a lot where blogs just take other creators' layouts and claim them as their own and i'm just like.. why r u so scared of giving credit lol. there's no shame in saying "oh i got inspired by xyz".. anyways.

and finally make sure u remember that writing fics shouldn't feel like a job or an obligation—it's a hobby, and hobbies are supposed to be for fun!! and if you enjoy what u do, your work'll be better and it'll come easier :3

[leonstamatis]

10, 14, 29 for the fic asks?

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

god yeah i continue to be blown away by the response to symbiosis, a follow-up to the dnd movie from this year that is about two girls who, frankly, were underutilized in the movie itself. if you look in the tag for that movie it'll be a lot of fic about the main m/m ship (unsurprising) and i fully thought, like, okay, i'm going to post my little "angry woman mentors small child" thing and it's going to get some attention from a very specific viewership of this film, and that'll be all, and that's fine. but no! so many people have been so kind on this one, and it's resonated in a way i didn't think it would. it's nice.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

yeah, sure. i think stellar drift should be a big-budget dramatic film. it's cinema, to me. i think it deserves an oscar. (alternately, roots should be an indie movie. not because i see it as one. but because it is long enough.)

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

ohhh lemme poke around. i'm sure i have something. PFFT OH I FORGOT ABOUT THIS. stara i'm gonna give you a whole 12x100 i hope that's cool.

(this is a sebderrick fic that's an au of the stephanie me//yers book the host. it's from a good like two and a half years ago and, while shared in a friendly server, was not ever posted i think.)

i.

Nothing had prepared them for the slow, creeping infiltration. This, Derrick thinks, is what every science fiction movie got wrong, what every book missed. It wasn’t a fleet of spaceships blocking out the sun one day; it was a few people at a time, almost but not quite normal, eyes flashing silver when the light hit just right.

They’re imitations, like off-brand cereal from the local dollar store. Almost enough to be the real thing, so long as no one got too close. By the time anyone realized the danger they posed, they far outnumbered anyone who might stop them.

ii.

There are a lot of empty houses now. Derrick doesn’t know where everyone went. Much like with everything else, it seemed like something that started slow and coalesced all at once. Everyone packed their bags and went into hiding, and no one bothered to tell him.

He finds his own way, breaking windows and picking locks to find whatever food was left behind. Stopping for gas is a risk, so he doesn’t; Derrick drives until a car stops going, and then he steals a new one.

He doesn’t know where he’s going; that’s a problem for when he gets there.

iii.

He meets Tiana somewhere around Idaho. She’s hiding in a library, living off vending machines, surrounded with books and movies. When they’re found out, she agrees to leave; Derrick can tell she doesn’t want to.

Bennett ducks into the backseat of the car while Tiana and Derrick are raiding a house for supplies, somewhere near Ohio. Tiana says they can stay before Derrick can argue.

Shaq shows up in North Carolina. Derrick opens a pantry and ends up pinned to the floor by a flash of bright florals, and it takes twenty minutes of fighting to realize they’re both human.

iv.

The four of them have a system, trading off driving and navigation and recon. Some days are easier than others, but even when it ends with lighting something on fire to make a distraction, they find a way to get by. It feels like something they can make last.

Derrick doesn’t remember who it is that first mentions the hubs, the idea that there are underground cities out there somewhere that they could find. But they’ve all heard of them, and once it’s out, it’s all they think about.

In their excitement, they get sloppy. And then Derrick gets caught.

v.

The room is so white it’s almost blinding. All the clothes hanging in the closet are the same way, not that Derrick has tried any of them on. If he takes off his hoodie, he suspects he won’t ever see it again.

Parker stares him down with a smile that’s probably supposed to be friendly, ends up somewhere closer to predatory. This is the fifth Parker that has come in, not that Derrick is supposed to know that.

“Where are your friends?” they ask.

“Rot in hell.”

Derrick resists the urge to throw things at their head when they leave.

vi.

A man with three eyes brings his dinners. They don’t talk to each other, but he sits at the table and waits for Derrick to finish his food before taking away the dishes. As if Derrick could do anything with them; no meal ever requires a knife.

“Where are you from?” the man asks one day, eyes flashing silver in the sunlight through the window.

“Here. Where are you from?”

“The Gamma quadrant,” he says. “But I like it better here.”

“Sure,” Derrick snaps.

They both know the part he leaves unsaid. That’s why you took it from us, right?

vii.

His name is Sebastian. Before this, he lived across half a dozen planets; he’s been a lot of things, something like an elephant, a dolphin, a telephone signal. That last one, Derrick learns, is where he’s from originally. If he stands too close to the television, it will flicker to life. Radios tune into his signal, too, although Derrick doesn’t have one around to test it.

“What’s so great about being human?” Derrick asks. “Why couldn’t you all leave us alone, if there are so many other places to be?”

Sebastian shrugs. “Other things don’t feel the way you do.”

viii.

The escape plan, surprisingly enough, isn’t Derrick’s idea. Sebastian steals him a pair of decent running shoes one night and tells him to listen for the static of a dropped call, and Derrick isn’t even entirely sure what it means until the lock on his door snaps open with a dull buzz. He scrambles to his feet and opens it to find Sebastian on the other side, eyes glowing as he takes Derrick’s hand.

“Follow me,” he whispers, and Derrick doesn’t have time to ask questions before he’s being tugged to the emergency exit at the end of the hall.

ix.

Things feel emptier than they did even before Derrick was captured, streets devoid of other cars and store parking lots deserted. The endless open space of abandoned farmlands makes Derrick nervous, sets him twitching.

“Do you know what happens?” he asks, if only so he can stop turning the question over in his mind. “To the people you replaced?”

Sebastian hums, and it reverberates around the metal of the car in a way that sets Derrick’s teeth on edge. “They don’t ever tell us about it.”

That’s more than enough. Derrick feels a spark of gratitude, or fear; maybe both.

x.

There’s no way for them to know where they’re going. Derrick wears sunglasses constantly, a thin veil of protection while Sebastian does most of the talking. It’s easier to get supplies this way; Sebastian can walk into stores without questions, second glances.

Derrick eats a strawberry for the first time in years. It’s the greatest thing he’s ever eaten, and he says as much, sitting on the hood of their car.

Next time Sebastian goes shopping, he comes back with a whole crate of them, too many to possibly eat before they go bad. Derrick laughs until his stomach hurts.

xi.

Finding the others is easier than Derrick thought. They go back to where he remembers being, the night he was taken, to some shitty art gallery where they’d spent all night smashing sculptures to take the edge off. It was stupid, a silly think to risk their lives over.

He’d thought they would move on by now. It’s the sensible thing, the safest. But he and Sebastian spend the night asleep under the medieval tapestries, and in the morning, Tiana and Bennett and Shaq are looking down on them with wide eyes

“Welcome back,” Tiana says slowly. “Who’s your friend?”

xii.

Sebastian says it’s different to feel human. The way the sun darkens his skin, the taste of strawberries, the sight of ocean waves crashing against the shore. There’s a while where Derrick wonders if maybe it’s more than that, if there are other feelings that Sebastian is talking about; he doesn’t bother to ask about it, right up until the day that he does.

“What did you mean,” he starts, words half-caught in his throat, “when you said other things don’t feel the way we do?”

Sebastian smiles when they kiss, and it sets Derrick’s lips tingling until they’re numb.

[lycanr0t]

I think it's really silly and unhelpful to make comparisons between fan artists and fan writers such as trying to determine who gets more interaction and who "has it easier" and who is more appreciated.

Neither has it easier. Btw. It's a useless overly generalized comparison to make that does nothing but put one group down and pit the two groups against each other when we should be uplifting each other.

each have their highs and lows in terms of interaction. This is a fact that will remain true for all of time purely because they are different forms of creation that require viewers to engage with it in different ways.

some artists may get more things such as likes and reblogs/retweets on visual heavy platforms like tumblr and twitter. But there seems to be an attitude among some that artists universally get attention with ease and i promise you thats simply not true. for every artist whose work is popular theres hundreds upon thousands of artists who get absolutely nothing. Just like writers.

writers DO have a hard time on platforms like tumblr. It's hard to convince people to read a whole fic on a website that is designed for and caters to quick casual scrolling. It sucks but that is a reality. You have to understand not every space is catered to every form of creation. Visual art is faster to see, like, and move on from. So naturally in an environment build for that interaction it has a better chance at doing well.

But at least in my experience, writers when they get interaction, are much more likely to get MEANINGFUL interaction.

Artwork I posted just a week ago (or less!) gets next to no notes, maybe some likes. In it's whole lifespan it maybe gets a handful of replies or tags that say one-two word compliments. (I am in no way putting this down. A compliment is a compliment!) meanwhile a fanfic that I wrote literally 10 years ago still will get comments on ao3 describing to me how much they adore it, telling me the specific parts they liked, and taking the time to really TELL me they loved it.

My point being that social media sites like tumblr and twitter are designed for shorter, smaller interaction. Visual art you can easily do that with, but it does tend to lead to less in depth interaction which does leave a lot of artists feeling used and unappreciated. written works DO require people to sit down and take the time to read it, which does mean less people will take that time, but (in my personal experience + what i have observed) the interaction that fics DO get is much more likely to be in depth and thought out.

EDIT:: forgot to add that since fics do often struggle to get interaction started, that also can lead to feeling unappreciated! both groups have instances of feeling this way!!

My experiences are obviously not universal. But that's my point exactly. Each artist, each writer, we all have different experiences with what gets more or less love/interaction. There are so many factors that play into this and no group is to blame here. No group has it better or worse its just different. And it's incredibly silly to point fingers and claim "oh artists have it better" or "oh writers have it better" babes we ALL have it rough.

Creative works across the board are unappreciated and across the board people are busting ass trying to be seen. No site is perfect and not everyone will get huge amounts of interaction. Let's not get so hung up on trying to figure out who is better off and instead put that energy into uplifting everyone.

if you see fanart you like then consider leaving a reply/comment/tags/ask/etc telling the artist exactly what you like about it! try and put effort into making it longer than 1-2 words! sit and really absorb the art!

if you read a fic you like consider sharing it with others! consider rbing or sharing it, leaving a nice comment, like/kudos, send the author an ask telling them you like it!

we ALL can use more appreciation, but understand we are all people also. no one owes anyone interaction, and guilting people into it and playing petty "i have it worse" games is not the way to go.

love others work. do it openly and passionately but do it to your ability. And realize in fandoms NONE of us magically have it easier just because we make a certain type of creation. It's not a competition. Fandoms are communities built on shared passion and mutual sharing, not marketplaces fighting to be the loudest most successful business

[kkoraki]

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

for theeeeeee ask meme! thank you for asking!

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

probably Warrior Cats - I got on the ~official forums~ when I was 11 or 12 and got into RP, fanfic, fanart, and watching/making animations by the time I was 13. I RPed for a few years, wrote fic for a few years, and kept doing fanart and animation off and on through college.

when I was 17 or 18 there was a situation where Al Kat, the person who pretty much built the entire Warriors animation fanbase and multi animator projects from the ground up, was essentially run out of fandom by people harassing them for being "too old" for a fandom with "minors" (they got into the fandom as a teen and were like in their... early 20s when this happened). my disgust with this is what started me drifting away from the fandom and I just kept on drifting, especially after my disillusionment with the animation industry + wanting to get better at drawing people + not caring to keep up with the books anymore.

that being said I still feel pretty passionate about my old faves (especially Ivypool and Russetfur), I still keep up with new multi animator projects/AMVs, and I have a long playlist of my favorite animated fanworks that I like to watch all the time! if that counts as being in the fandom that would be around 15 years

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

for tlt, and they're all art related,

more art of characters that aren't the big 6 (6th, 9th, tridentarii) - everyone and everything in this series is described as looking so INTERESTING and unique, by design, and I would like to see so much more of that

character designs that don't take tmuir's personal appearance/ethnicity headcanons as gospel (there are so many interesting visual possibilities based on the descriptions we have to work with in canon! she herself is out there telling people to draw babs as a lizard! is this just about me wanting to see desi 5th house (how I've always imagined them)? maybe!!!)

more environment art, set design, and full illustrations - again - this is such a fascinating series visually not just in terms of the characters but with the settings as well and it's always so fun when people explore that. I know this is tough in fanart because character focused stuff is easier and usually gets more notes but I love it whenever I see environment art or illustrations for TLT specifically.

oh and not art related but needs moar noncon

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

AUs if that's not too broad - whether that's setting AUs or plot AUs or the hard to define ones like rule 63 or daemon AUs. love that stuff!

usually for more specific tropes/kinks, it's not a one size fits all since my faves and OTPs can vary a lot between fandoms, but I usually like pretty much any tropes/kinks related to consent issues

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

I broadly agree with people who say the plot/pacing of Dungeon Meshi has issues, especially the first 20ish chapters of the manga, but I don't really care because I didn't get into it for the plot - I got into it because I kept seeing the most gorgeous concept art and character designs crossing my dash. As a vehicle for delivering Ryoko Kui's world and character concepts I think it's phenomenal and I love all the bonus content. Usually you have to find good, in character, prolific fanartists to get that kind and volume of content and it's absolutely magical to have so much of it coming from the creator herself. Also GOD I forgot how strongly I prefer canons that have no romance or sex at all between anyone. It's so easy to fumble, I usually don't really care about canon ships, just let fandom handle all of that... thank you Ryoko Kui...

[banannabethchase]

Mox has a Grindr date, but he's not quite sure who he's looking for. He sees the tall, handsome blond guy walk in the door, and assumes, incorrectly, that's his guy. And that guy has incorrectly assumed as well.

~

A mistaken identity prompt from Sarah @sarahcakes613! This fic gave me surprisingly a lot of *grinds teeth while trying to word* but I had a bunch of fun with the concept. I hope you enjoy!

Mini playlist:

Hey Cowboy - Devon Cole

Giddy Up - Shania Twain

Throat Goat - Kim Petras

Oh My - Gin Wigmore

~

“How do I look?” Mox yanks at the collar of his shirt.

“Like a horny mess.”

Mox throws the shoe at Eddie, who leans so casually to the left that it’s like he expected it. He probably did. Dickhead. “Seriously!” Mox says, fidgeting. “I don’t want to freak the guy out.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “So you think the handcuffs are a good way not to freak him out.”

“He specifically requested a – a visual.” Mox’s face is burning. This is hell. “So he knows it’s me.”

Eddie laughs, something that he’s clearly trying to hold back. Mox considers if it’s worth taking off the other shoe. “And your go-to was handcuffs?”

“I panicked!” Mox says. “Look, I haven’t – you know I don’t do the internet thing.”

“I know,” Eddie says, and he seems kinder, now. Maybe. “I’m sorry. I just – you really went from zero to sixty, Grandpa.”

“Shut up.”

“Luddite,” Eddie says, the grin back. “Mr. ‘I don’t use twitter, but I’ll go on Grindr to hook up with a guy who wants me to bring handcuffs.’”

“Okay, the handcuffs were my idea,” Mox interrupts.

“Christ, you’re an idiot,” Eddie sighs. “Go find your fuck buddy, and I’ll help you make a new Facebook profile when you get back to get hooked on multi-level marketing schemes.”

“That was one time!”

Eddie’s still laughing when Mox gets his boots laced up and slams the door behind him.

~

It’s – it’s not a bar, technically, but it’s barlike. Enough to make him a little itchy. Dark atmosphere, country music playing in the background. He should have googled this place before suggesting it, but he liked the name when he drove by it last week. A new place, Rowdy’s Bar and Grill. He’d hoped it would lean more toward grill, which is does, but still. At least he there’s the bar area and a seated area. He’d rather wait by the tall tables, though, where he has more space to move.

He’s standing at a bar table, drawing circles in the condensation dripping off his glass of Coke when the door shuts heavily. He looks up – nope. The guy he’s looking for is blond. The guy who just walked in, while gorgeous, is not the elusive Jamie.

It happens about ten more times, and the handcuffs in Mox’s front pocket are starting to get heavy, a weight like embarrassment. Mox is beginning to wonder if he should have insisted on a face picture instead of just the basic description and handcuffs, halfway through a detailed water-drawing of a skull and crossbones, when the door swings open.

And Mox has to sit.

The man walking in is broad shouldered with curly blonde hair, the kind of profile they’d write epic poems about in ancient Rome, and a pair of jeans that leave nothing to the imagination.

Mox swallows a giant sip of Coke. Fucking this up is not an option. He lets the guy order a drink, and catches his eye as he scans the room.

“Hey,” Mox calls, and, thank god, the guy looks at him. “Over here.”

The guy, Jamie, he supposes, nods and walks over. “Hey. You the guy?”

Mox nods. “Yeah. Come sit.”

Jamie slides into the barstool across from Mox, and nods down to his pocket.

“Handcuffs,” Jamie says, grinning. “Subtle.”

“Well, it makes it easier for people to find me,” Mox jokes. He feels good. He’s making it work.

Jamie slides into the barstool in front of him, face more serious than Mox would expect for a first date, but everyone handles jitters differently.

“You got the details on the package?” Jamie says. It’s forward. It’s blunt. It’s good.

“For you, baby?” Mox says. “Of course.”

Jamie blinks. “Um. Okay.” He glances around the room, a little hesitant. “So, tell me about yourself.”

“Right, course,” Mox says. “Uh. I live around here, with my best friend. Eddie. Mid-thirties, unless I forgot about my birthday again.” He pauses. “I really like The Troggs.”

Jamie stares at him. “Right. Uh.” He pauses.

“What about you?” Mox asks. “I don’t know a lot about you. What’s your – deal?”

Jamie blinks. “I mean, I’m kinda well known across the country, in my line of work. Got a decent list of references, if you want to know about my previous success rates.” Mox is about to ask if he accidentally hired an escort when Jamie interrupts. “Alright, enough of the small talk. Tell me about the guy.”

Mox pauses. Did Jamie think he was bringing up Eddie as a…as a thing? They were, back a couple years ago, but figured out they worked better without dicks involved. Maybe it’s written on his face? “Oh.” He swallows. “Oh, he’s, uh. He’s not an issue here.”

Jamie tilts his head to the side. “So…we’re dealing with a woman? Nonbinary person?”

Mox blinks. “No, he’s a man.” He stares, a sheet of horror falling over him. “Um. You’re Jamie, right?”

Jamie stares at him. “No.” The man who isn’t Jamie, then.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Who are you?” Not-Jamie asks. He starts scanning the room rapidly, a controlled panic. “How many guys you got here? You from the Cartel? Irish mafia?” His gaze settles on Mox, burning. “Fucking Christ, if it’s House of Black with a hit on me again, I’m gonna have to change my goddamned name.”

“Whoa,” Mox says, hands up in front of him. “I don’t have guys. Well, except for Eddie. And he’s cool with this. I mean – wait, who are you?” He can’t stop asking. This was too – the guy walked up to him and intentionally mentioned the handcuffs. How do you fuck that up?

The man in front of him studies him with painstakingly precision. Mox feels like he’s being undressed, only more vulnerable. “You’re not a cop.”

Mox scoffs. “Fuck, no.” He doesn’t break eye contact, but the blue eyes in front of him are piercing. “I’m Jon Moxley.” He sticks out his hand, still not convinced he’ll get it back intact. It’s worth the risk.

The man studies Mox’s hand for a second, that careful gaze, and then reaches out to shake it. “Hangman,” he says. “Hangman Page.”

Mox raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t let go of the grip. “You some sort of hit man?” His laugh isn’t fearful, but it’s not…it’s not normal.

“Bounty hunter,” Hangman replies. “Was coming here to meet up with a cop, get some details…” He trails off. “There’s this person running around, going after kids.” Hangman’s eyes darken. “I intend to bring him in, take the cash, and make sure he’s not able to hurt anyone again.”

Mox considers it. “And you’re so sure he’s the bad guy because?”

“Because there’s video footage of him committing the crime,” Hangman says, steady. He takes a sip of his drink. “Only way I’ll take a hunt. It’s gotta be confirmed.”

“Dignity and morals from a lawman,” Mox says. He shifts when he realizes he’s mirroring Hangman. “Never see that.”

“I ain’t a lawman. I just know when somebody’s got to get put away.” He looks down. “Are you sure you’re not a fuckin’ cop?”

“I’m not a cop!”

“You’re wearing fuckin’ cop shoes!” Hangman says, and, okay, fine, they’re shiny, but Mox likes his boots to look nice.

“They’re combat boots!”

“They’re cop shoes,” Hangman repeats.

“I like the way they look.”

“Of course you do.” Hangman leans over, gives a pointed look over by Mox’s pocket. “The handcuffs, then?”

“It – I thought I was meeting a kinky motherfucker!” Mox is starting to feel panicked. He’s not used to being off guard, to being the one laid out on in front of somebody else, defending himself. He tries to convince himself he doesn’t like the challenge, but his dick would call him a liar. “It was the way he’d recognize me!”

There’s a split second of an interested smirk on Hangman’s lips before it disappears. “You go on a first date and you think of handcuffs?”

Mox licks his lips. “You ever been on Grindr?”

Hangman adjusts in the barstool, posture loosening. “Point.” He takes another sip from his glass, eyes locked on Mox’s the whole way. Mox adjusts in his seat. “Where’s your date?”

Mox slumps back into the barstool. “Thanks for reminding me. Dick.”

“Hey, I’m just making conversation, since I’ve probably blown my chance to run into the cop, if he’s here.” His eyes dart around the room again. “Been talking to you too long.”

“And, you know, doing business with a beer in your hand is probably a bad look,” Mox muses.

Hangman pauses, frowns, then looks at the glass in his hands. “Oh, no. This is ginger ale.”

“Ah,” Mox says. He holds up his glass. “This is Coke.”

Hangman’s smile goes genuine, almost sweet, his glass meeting Mox’s. “To Coke and ginger ale, then.”

The conversation flows easily, Mox talking about the person Jamie allegedly was, and he appreciates that Hangman doesn’t mock him for being stood up. Eddie’ll take care of that when Mox gets home.

It may be the fourth Coke getting him jittery, but Mox finds himself leaning in closer to Hangman as they talk about some of each of their work escapades.

“Yeah, and then he threw a glass bottle at my head,” Hangman says, leaning forward to show him a scar right above his eyebrow.

“No shit! I have one there too!” Mox points. “Least of my scars, honestly, you should see my back.”

Hangman raises an eyebrow. “That an invitation?”

It wasn’t. But it is now. Mox licks his lips. “You want it to be?”

Hangman laughs, low and tempting. “Maybe.”

Mox shifts in his chair, leaning a little further forward in his chair. He nods toward the door. “Wanna hit the bathroom?”

“Should of known you’d be one for the bathroom hookup,” Hangman laughs. “I guess I should tell you my actual name first, huh?”

“Oh, I just thought you popped out and your parents were like, ‘aw, he has blue eyes and curly hair, let’s name him Hangman.’” But Mox can’t deny the curiosity.

Hangman’s smile holds a little darkness behind, the kind of dirt Mox wants to get his hands into. “I’m Adam,” he says, putting out his hand to shake Mox’s. Mox takes it, and it feels like foreplay. “Adam Page.”

“I’m still Jon Moxley,” Mox says, and he doesn’t want to let go of Adam’s hand. “Meet me in the bathroom in five?”

Adam chances a look around the room. Mox gets a look at him, silhouetted in the red bar light, and he thinks Adam looks a little like a god. “Not even sure if we have to wait, but sure.” He licks his lips, turning back to Mox. “If you gets you going.”

“See you soon, then.” Mox sends him a wink and slides off the barstool. He does his best not to look behind him as he makes his way toward the bathroom. It’s surprisingly clean, for a divey restaurant like this, and it’s got a couple of roomy stalls. Perfect.

He rolls his shoulders, bounces on his toes a little to rid himself of the nervous energy. He can do this. He can suck a dick with the best of them, but it’s been a while and part of him worries he’ll be rusty. The other part of him remembers what he did to his last one night stand, and Yuta’s been texting him for tips and ideas ever since then, so. The worried part is small.

The door to the bathroom swings open, and Hangman walks in like he owns the place. His expression is less confident, a little more pinched.

“Hey, Hangman,” Mox says. “Looking for someone?”

Hangman laughs, head tilted down. But at least he’s back to smiling. His hands are shoved in his pockets. “Uh, I forgot to mention.” His voice is less confident now, the barest hint of a shake. “I kind of. Have never.” He pauses, looking up to meet Mox’s eyes briefly. “I’ve never had a one night stand.”

Mox immediately laughs, and regrets it. “No! Not funny. I just – you could’a fooled me.”

Hangman’s smile comes back. “What, like you’re such an expert?”

Mox walks up to him, covering the space in two shorts steps. He feels a strange compulsion to calm this man, to make him comfortable. “I mean, I got references,” he flicks his eyes down to Hangman’s lips, “unless you wanna figure it out for yourself.”

Hangman – or Adam, Mox supposes. He should start thinking of him as his real name, if his dick’s about to be in his mouth. Adam wraps his fingers around the collar of Mox’s shirt, pulls him in. There’s a second of hesitation, but Mox leans in to close the last moment between them. Their lips meet, a slight hesitation from Adam, but then he’s all in. Hands slide up the back of Mox’s jacket, pulling him closer, lining their bodies up together. Mox gasps into Adam’s mouth, tongues sliding against each other.

“Hold on,” Mox says.

Adam pulls away, blue eyes darker than he remembers. “What?”

Mox kicks the trashcan in front of the door, grinning. “Don’t want any visitors. Or interruptions.”

Adam crashes back against him, pressing him against the wall, and he pulls Mox’s shirt up, pressing hands against his stomach, sides, around to his back. Mox focuses on drawing those little sounds from Adam’s lips as he reaches down and grabs his ass, hauling him up a little closer.

Adam leans down, pressing his lips to Mox’s neck where it’s exposed in the v-neck.

“Your handcuffs are hitting me,” Adam mutters against Mox’s neck.

“Yeah?” Mox huffs, hands gripping at Adam’s denim jacket. “You want me to break ‘em out?”

“Maybe next time.”

It’s enough to get Mox to yank Adam’s mouth back to his own, to taste those words before they fall into the air. The idea of a next time, the idea that this won’t just be one quick fuck in a bar bathroom. He wants to hold it tight. Adam stumbles into him, crushing him against the wall, and Mox is temporarily struck with the image of this happening in a bed, on a couch. At a home.

Oh, he’s fucked.

He moves his lips to Adam’s jaw, throat, bites a bruise into the warm skin to draw a truly great moan. He know the guy would be a talker.

He walks them backward until he has Adam away from the sinks and against one of the walls. “You good if I blow you?”

Adam laughs, dropping his head back, the clonk a little louder than it probably should be. “Yeah. Course I am. Oh, my god.”

Mox grins up at him, and gets his belt undone. It takes longer than it should, because the damned thing is overly ornate, and slowly slides Adam’s jeans down his hips. He chances a glance upward, concerned about the tension in Adam’s thighs, but Adam’s just looking at him with an gaze so intense it makes Mox want to shiver. “Good?”

Adam nods. “Just – don’t make fun of me for my boxers, okay? I didn’t know I’d be – this.”

Intrigued, Mox gets a better look. “Really?”

“I thought I was on a job!” Adam groans, running a hand over his face. “Look, they’re lucky, okay?”

“Your Dolly Parton boxers are lucky?” Mox asks. “Please tell me you wash them.”

“Of course I wash them! What do you think I am, a dirtbag?”

Mox shrugs. “You work with cops.”

“I do the jobs cops can’t do,” Adam retorts and, fair, so Mox decides to pull down the, frankly hilarious, boxers and get a look at Adam’s cock. When he licks his lips, he hears another clonking sound.

“You keep hitting your head that hard, you’ll knock yourself out,” Mox says, spitting into his hand.

Adam lets out a delirious kind of giggle. “Fuck.”

“Okay if I blow you?” Mox asks.

Adam stares at him. “Yes. Oh my god. I already said yes.”

“Just checking.” And then Mox sinks down on him. Adam makes more of those little, unhinged noises as Mox flicks his tongue against the slit as he pulls back, sure to keep working. He grabs at Adam’s legs, nails digging into the golden skin. Adam makes delightful little noises, rests his hand on Mox’s jaw, and it feels almost demure, subtle, cute for a bathroom hookup.

Mox reaches down to press at his own dick, which is growing more and more interested as each second passes by. Adam laughs.

“You really get off on this, huh?” he mutters, voice low. “What would happen if we got too loud and somebody walked in?”

Mox pulls off. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Hangman.” He chances a wink, getting a flustered groan in return, and gets back to work.

It’s clear it’s been a while, with the speed at which Adam starts pulling at Mox’s shoulder. “Close,” he gasps, “if you don’t wanna – if you don’t want me to.” He cuts himself off with a groan.

Mox wants him to. He so wants him to. He gets his hand a little more involved, focuses his tongue on the head of Adam’s cock, and the way Adam’s hips push in proves him right. Adam’s coming down his throat within a second, and Mox takes it with a smug satisfaction. Serves that date who stood him up right.

Adam tucks himself back into his boxers. “Get up here,” Adam groans, grabbing handfuls of Mox’s jacket in his fists. Mox stands, trying to figure out how to ask if Adam’s cool with getting him off, too, when Adam’s shoving his hand down the front of Mox’s jeans.

“Whoa,” Mox laughs, “let me get my belt off first.”

“Gotta get you,” Adam says, a little desperate. The blown-out pupils haven’t dissipated, haven’t gone back to the normal blue. “Want you.”

Mox leans in and kisses him, holding back in case Adam’s not a fan, but Adam dives in, licks inside Mox’s mouth like he’s chasing the taste of himself. Mox’s dick throbs in anticipation.

For all his reported inexperience, Adam makes up for sheer frantic enthusiasm. He sucks dick sloppy, like he’s so focused on doing it well that he’s not worried about how it looks.

Mox is obsessed.

“Fuck, you’re good at this,” he says, testing a theory, and Adam looks up at him and, fuck, moans around his dick. Mox’ll have to put that in his back pocket for later.

He rests his hands on the top of Adam’s head, silently asking permission, and Adam pulls his mouth away. Mox pulls his hand back.

“Oh, no,” Adam says, grabbing his hand. “Keep doing that. If you don’t pull my hair, what’s the point of it long?”

Mox laughs, but it’s quickly cut off when Adam takes him in his mouth again. He slides his hands into Adam’s curls, soft and smooth against his fingertips. He doesn’t pull too hard, just enough to hold Adam where he wants him. Adam responds to it, pulling against it just a little so his eyes flutter shut.

“There you go,” Mox murmurs, and he gives a little test of a push with his hips. Adam leans in further, taking more of him, and Mox is beginning to think he won’t be able to let this be a one night thing. Goddamn his weakness for pretty men with good smiles.

Adam does something particularly interesting with his tongue, something so good and unexpected it makes Mox lose control, and it gives him the half second to say, “I’m gonna – ” before Adam looks up at him, then dives back onto his cock with a single-minded goal.

Yeah. He’s gonna have to get this guy’s number.

Mox comes with a hoarse groan, fingers tightening in Adam’s hair. He shivers a little as he feels Adam’s throat work, swallowing down everything like it was no chore at all.

“Hey,” Mox says, running his fingers through Adam’s hair. It’s a little fucked up now. It looks good on him. “You good?”

“So good,” Adam mumbles, voice sounding beyond wrecked. He stands slowly, a little smile playing across his lips. “Can I kiss you?”

“Like you have to ask,” Mox says with an eye roll. After fixing himself in his underwear, he pulls Adam in by the back of the neck and kisses him, shuddering as he tastes himself, and wonders how stupid it would be to ask Adam back to his place tonight.

They pull away, and Adam rests his forehead against Mox’s in a way that’s way too charming. “This was a really dumb idea,” he laughs, fingers playing with the zipper of Mox’s leather jacket. He looks up, dead into Mox’s eyes. “Thank you.”

“Can I get your number?” Mox asks. “I mean, in case I need you for a reference. Or a repeat.”

Adam grins. “I’m only in Ohio for a few days,” he begins, “and I go all over the country, for the job.” Mox pretends he isn’t deflating. “But you can call me whenever you want.” He reaches into Mox’s jacket pocket, and pulls out his phone. He points it at Mox’s face to unlock it, fiddles for a second. Mox isn’t able to stop himself from tucking a curl behind Adam’s ear. “I put my number in here. I, uh,” he steps back, a little smile on his lips. “I probably should get back out there, just in case the cop shows up. They’re doing a shit job of catching that scumbag and,” he gestures to himself, “well, in that way, I’m the best.”

“In a lot of ways,” Mox teases. He takes the phone back. “Go catch your guy, Cowboy.”

“Bounty hunter,” Adam corrects, his smile growing. “I’m a bounty hunter.”

Mox shrugs. “Kind of a cowboy, too, though, right?” He nods down at Adam’s belt buckle, at his boots, as he does up his own pants.

Adam shrugs. “A little bit. Yeah.”

They get themselves together in a bit of an awkward silence, dancing around each other as they check their clothes, their hair, their faces.

Adam wiggles his phone at Mox when he’s finished drying off his hands. “I’ll text you. Yeah?”

Mox nods, feeling strange as Adam walks backward toward the door. “Yeah. Soon.” He smiles.

~

Mox is in a bit of a daze as he makes his way out of the restaurant, into his car, and back home. He tosses his keys into the bowl by the door.

“Hey, playboy,” Eddie calls from the couch. “How was the date?”

“He never showed.” Mox throws himself on the couch next to Eddie.

“Aw. Sucks for – wait.” He frowns. “If your date didn’t show up, why do you look all freshly fucked?”

“I don’t look freshly fucked!”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “You got that somebody-sucked-my-dick glow about you.”

“There may have been another guy,” Mox tests. “Who thought I was a cop.”

Eddie wrinkles his nose. “And you let him get on you after that?”

“Honest mistake,” Mox says. He can’t fight the smile. “I thought he was my date. We both fucked up. And, uh. Blew each other in the bathroom of the bar.”

Eddie groans so dramatically he almost throws himself off the couch. “Great. Now we’ll have another one like Yuta hanging around all the time.”

“I don’t know,” Mox says. “He’s a bounty hunter or whatever, so he’s only in Ohio for a little. He might not be back in the area for a while.”

“Oh, I see what this is,” Eddie says, grinning, “a clandestine hookup with your boyfriend from Canada?”

“He said he was from Virginia,” Mox retorts.

Eddie laughs. “Sure. Because that’s the word you should be reacting to in that sentence.”

Mox opens his mouth to respond, but his phone buzzes. There’s a little cowboy emoji followed by a blue heart. He smiles. He can’t help it.

“Oh, boy,” Eddie laughs. “You’re down bad for this guy, aren’t you.”

“Shut up,” Mox replies. But he texts Adam back. text me when ur in ohio hangman

The response is almost immediate. Will do 😉.

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

I just looked at your Owl House AU and I didn’t know that you had described the pictures already, I’m visually impaired and I never got to read a comic before. And you let me do something I always wanted to do. I love how you describe it and I would like to make comics too, I was wondering how you script them to describe them like you did?

oh my gosh!!!! This makes me so happy, you have no idea! I'm so glad you were able to have that and that you enjoyed it! I often don't really know what I'm doing, but I've tried to make these in such a way that as many people as possible are able to read them. (this is also why I avoid anything too inappropriate and mark anything that might be so, because the Owl House is ultimately a show targeted at kids, and even though Tumblr is aimed at an older audience, I would like those here to be able to share it with younger friends and family if they want.)

I haven't been sure about my image descriptions though. I've been fumbling my way through them, clueless and sometimes a bit dispirited because I wasn't sure if they were actually useful to anybody or whether I was doing it all wrong. Tumblr also makes it tricky for me because, on PC, long ALT descriptions have a tendency to run right off the screen and I have no idea whether screen readers can see them, or how read-aloud tech works at all. I'm extremely glad that it worked for you.

It does concern me that you couldn't tell at first that there were descriptions attached though. Is it easier for you if I write them under a read more instead? Also, if you use a screen reader, how do paragraph breaks work for you, because some of my descriptions include them and some don't, due to the off-the-screen issue I mentioned before. Also, if anyone else would like to pitch in and let me know whether they read the descriptions, ALT or otherwise, when the images aren't loading or something, please do!

As for the scripting in the descriptions, I try to describe things in the order that you would look at them if you were looking at the composition (not just the order of panels, but also the order you would see the parts of the image and dialogue inside the panel, according to visual hierarchy.) I also tend to think more in terms of how I would describe what's happening if I were writing a fic, even though I'm describing an image, and so I try to write in a way that reads smoothly like I'm telling a story, while also balancing the inclusion of visual details that impact the mood and understanding of the viewer. I'm fortunate to have studied both creative writing and visual storytelling, so the two are a bit married in my head. Ultimately I'm trying to use the description to tell the story rather than to describe every minuscule detail (other than the ones that help tell the story and set the mood).

Anyway, I'm so glad you liked it! Please never hesitate to ask me for a description if you ever run into an image here on my blog that hasn't been described and that you would like to see. Feel free to mention it in the replies or shoot me an ask, and I will reply privately to let you know when it's updated.

[nikkxb]

Y'all, it's been a year.

I have some absolutely wonderful asks in my inbox. They've been bright moments over the last few months. I will get to them, but please know I see them.

I've written absolutely nothing since the Inu-spiration reverse bang in June. Not a single word. I'm not stressing about it, though I've received some lovely comments since then on a few of my fics. I've been slowly working my way through responding to those comments and I'll be taking each day as it comes. I have no promises. I know what I want to finish. I know what's important to me to work on. I cannot make any guarantees.

Work has been good. Stressful recently -- I switched over to an online booking system and have a small handful of clients who are fighting tooth and nail against the change. I knew this was coming and prepared for it, but it's still exhausting and frustrating to deal with. (On the flip side, it's been a fucking dream of an asset with a great majority of my clients.) And I'm getting busier, so there's that.

Personal life is...a handful:

Me and the husband are great. We're dealing with a few things in our relationship, but we're working through them and he's still my lobster.

My relationship with my family is great; their relationship, not so much. One sister has been having massive problems with her husband, to the point that we genuinely don't know if we'll see him next year for Christmas. It's been very stressful and very hard to talk about.

Two very close friends of mine are going through a divorce. It wouldn't be messy if he (my closer friend of the two) would accept the consequences of his actions and let her fucking go. But it seems like he's having to learn a lot of things the hard way and I'm not sure what will be left of our friendship when all's said and done.

Husband and I are in the process of buying the townhome we live in. It was sprung on us a little over a week ago and while I'm trying to keep everything organized, it's been a mess. And so incredibly stressful. It would be one thing if we were buying because we were ready to; another thing entirely to be buying because the alternative is to find another place to rent in the worst renting market I've ever seen.

I went to a book convention that was an amazing experience, spent a lot of money, bought a lot of books, met a ton of wonderful people. Started reading said books -- and I absolutely hated the first four I picked up. Definitely worried that I'll hate most of the books I bought, which has done wonderful things whenever I remember how much money I spent. /s (Silver lining is that those four books were only from two authors. Much easier to accept I don't like an author than a ton of unconnected books.)

My house is a mess. It's an absolute mess. The only clean room is our bedroom and I refuse to do anything but sleep and read in there. Everywhere else is cluttered and messy and disorganized and such a visual stress, I haven't been able to do anything. I'm sure once it's cleaned, I'll be able to decompress, but the house has been like this since the beginning of June and I don't know how to fix it.

That's the cut and dry of it. I tried to keep it condensed. I'm sure there's more.

A lot of good happened this year, too, but I'm mostly just letting y'all know I'm alive, I'm okay, and why I've been so silent. Hoping to see more of you in the new year.

Oh, did I miss anything? Is there really porn back on tumblr?

[ipsen]

1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 12 and 13 for Holometabolism

Hoho, boy, here we go. After a read more!!

1 - What inspired you to write/update this work?

I once put in the tags of a post I can no longer remember that there are only two things that fuel the creative process: love and spite, which are ultimately the same thing-- a desire for something better than what came before.

I am not upset that Eto was scrubbed out of her role in TG:re. I am upset because she was ultimately treated as an afterthought by the story, and that most of her efforts are just attributed to Arima. It's one of Tokyo Ghoul's worst habits: giving men more pity and attention than women. And this is a story with really good women characters that fall flat simply because the story refuses to utilize them.

That is ultimately why I made Holometabolism.

4 - What’s the most challenging part about posting new/updated work? Do you find posting stressful or invigorating?

Posting as I go is probably the only way I can motivate myself to continue a multichapter work. I need some extra validation from sources besides myself, because personal passion can only get you so far in life. You must be uplifted by others in some capacity to, ultimately, make it anywhere.

The hardest part about posting is, to me, clicking the post button. Because I just know there's gonna be some formatting error or whatever that I missed and now I have to go back and FIX IT.

Oh well.

5 - How do you decide how long your fics/chapters will be? Do you have a word count goal?

For Holometabolism specifically, I liked to shoot for at least 4k words because that's a nice healthy number for me. It just seems like the longfics I myself enjoy have a similar word count per chapters, and I've just kinda grown accustomed to it.

But usually my process involves a vision, and then writing to get to said vision. I visualized an EtoKen ending for this fic and then went from there (I actually fleshed out Chapter 4 the most before any of the others, and it's the chapter that's retained the most of its original draft form). Word count isn't a generally a factor, but it does help keep me within a certain limit.

I'm all for a word vomit, but constraints are an integral part of quality. Also makes editing much easier when there's less to actually edit. I like editing the least.

7 - What part of this fic/chapter was the most fun to write?

Now here's a tricky question, because I have a lot of parts that I had so much fun, to the point where ranking them is honestly impossible.

I liked Eto and Touka's first conversation in Ch2. They are foils to one another, with similar backstories and personalities, but they approach things differently. Establishing that was important groundwork for their friendship later on in the fic.

Every time Hinami interacted with Eto was a joy. Hinami is this weird cross between Kaneki and Eto, like a strange brain child of theirs since she was influenced by both of them at key stages in her life.

Ch4's climax (haha) is near and dear to my heart. Not my best work by a longshot, but a very important piece that I'll cherish for a long time. Reconciling your ugliness and bearing it in the hopes for something better is something I want to believe I can do too. So I wrote two people doing it (haha).

Ch5's ending!! I loved taking "I am a ghoul" and making it a positive, awesome slogan! I felt bad having to follow it up with Ch6, honestly. SPEAKING OF--

Eto and Furuta's conversation and "rematch"! So much fun. What better to demonstrate her character development than by having her confront someone she definitely hates? Gotta pat myself on the back for that one.

8 - Which line/paragraph are you most proud of? Why are you proud of this?

Tricky question #2, I see. Well, if I have to pick one, then:

“Please don’t die, Eto,” [Hinami] choked out.

Eto pursed her lips. “Why?”

A few tears dropped onto their hands, coalescing into a small puddle on Eto’s knuckles. “Because… Because I’m not ready to say goodbye.” Hinami pressed their hands against her forehead. “Please… Even if you can’t smile, or laugh, or cry… Live.”

I intended this to be the turning point for Eto's character in this EtoKen fanfiction. A sin, to some, to not have the love interest be the one to start the redemption journey.

Hinami is another one of Eto's foils who is also in the unique position of being capable of holding real and sustainable affection for her. It was important to me to showcase that that was what it was: real, genuine love. Because Hinami, besides Kaneki, is the only person Eto would actually believe in 99% of circumstances, since the girl is both similar to Eto and honest with herself.

12 - What do you hope readers will take away from this work?

"You are worth it, even if you don't think you are." "There's always a little bit of hope for everyone." "Even if you can't smile, laugh, or cry... Live."

Life is mostly good, I like to think, and I wanted to underscore that belief with this fic. I want people to know that hope is stronger than despair, and that it is hope for the future and yourself that drives positive change. Something like that.

13 - Are there any cut lines/scenes from this work? Why did you cut them?

I have an entire document dedicated to "scenes that were Good to me, but either didn't flow properly with the story or just contributed very little to the progression of those involved." There's at least one scene per chapter, too.

I might actually post some of them here on tumblr someday, when I'm feeling enough energy to format each LOL

--

That's everything! Thanks for the ask!

[astrobei]

hi suni!! 73, 90, and 94 for the writer asks if u feel like it <33

hi parker :^)) i need u to know i tried posting this like 4 times and every time it would not save my answer to the last question so !! FIFTH TIME’S THE CHARM !!

73. how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

oh this is so interesting and one of those things i don’t rly think about while i’m writing bc it just Happens? but now that i’m thinking about it i definitely definitely see things kind of like. acted out in my head !! especially when describing body language and dialogue and stuff like that it’s super helpful and easier than descriptions or prose because i just get this mental picture in my head of the scene and i can like hear the characters talking kind of and i just write down the dialogue/movements/setting as i see it or as it unfolds in my Mind. if that makes sense !! thinking about it i feel like writing is actually more visual than descriptive for me because i really do just see stuff in my head and just describe what i’m picturing and i think the reason why i get so carried away with scenes where there’s a lot of dialogue/movement is because i am but a mere meat vessel that exists for transcribing whatever my Brain sees

90. do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

oh my god yes 100% !! even as someone who finds it hard to objectively perceive their own writing(i can’t for the life of me tell you what i think my style is or anything) but genuinely whenever i write it’s just a stream of my own consciousness and i think it shows !! especially when i write mike and his internal monologue im literally just getting momentarily possessed by his spirit and then word vomiting onto the google doc <3 what’s also funny is that i’ve had 3 different people send me this line from my fake dating fic and say “you” bc i really do just. threaten to hit things with a stick on a daily basis so. short answer: Yes !

94. do you prefer dialogue or description?

ooooh i would say dialogue !! it comes a lot easier to me and that’s where the bulk of my Overwriting problem lies because i just think it’s so much fun !! especially like. silly lighthearted banter and flirting and for building tension and when i’m visualizing a scene in my head the flow of conversation back and forth is a lot easier for me to picture than describing something and it feeling a bit repetitive if that makes sense? plus i feel like the characters’ voices really get to come through !! i love my inner monologue and description of course but dialogue is definitely where i get carried away :^)

[jkrobertson]

I posted 471 times in 2022

73 posts created (15%)

398 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@slytherkins

@ulquihimelovers

@jkrobertson

@peroxidestan

@ladylilithprime

I tagged 91 of my posts in 2022

#ulquihime - 67 posts

#ulquiorra/orihime - 18 posts

#i hate u i love u - 16 posts

#dirty 30 - 14 posts

#ihuilu - 14 posts

#ulquihimeweek2022 - 8 posts

#ulquihimeweek - 8 posts

#bleach - 7 posts

#ulquihimesummerfestival - 7 posts

#jkrobertson wrotes - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 87 characters

#sometimes you want to drink a green smoothie and sometimes you want full sugar kool aid

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

What are you most excited to see animated for bleach if you are watching it when it comes back that is ?

I will absolutely watch it! I think the thing I'm most excited for is:

the new visual style

seeing Orihime again. I miss her!

I'm looking forward to having all the Sternritter introduced to me in a format that I find easier to consume (the manga was a difficult slog for me during the TYBW arc).

Byakuya v. As Nodt

The battle of the Kenpachis

RETURN OF AIZEN

I'm sure there are a million other... OH WAIT! THE NUMBER ONE THING I WANT TO SEE IS ORIHIME AND CHAD IN HUECO MUNDO CHILLIN' WITH THE ARRANCAR HOMIES AND GRIMMJOW COMING OUT WITH THE DRIP!

yeeee

29 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

#4

See the full post

46 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

#3

@troyyyyyyyyyyyyyy reminded me of this masterpiece 😭

56 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

#2

Announcing the UlquiHime Summer Festival Event!

(It's ulquihime week lite (c))

WHAT'S THE DEAL? Prepare a fic, art piece, edit, or whatever about Ulquiorra and Orihime with the prompt: Summer Festival. Post it on Tumblr with the hashtag ulquihimesummerfestival on July 30, 2022. It gets reblogged. We all get to enjoy a lot of new content. Easy peasy!

Please contact me @jkrobertson with any questions. Can't wait :D

62 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

What do you love most about the UH ship? 🥰

This is such a hard question. There are so many things to love. The aesthetic. The poetry. The growth. The angst. The sweet sadness.

But I think my most loved part about the UH ship is the hope. Hope that a monster born of nothingness can be redeemed. Hope that a girl who dared to love everyone despite having love constantly ripped away from her can find it reflected back to her in the eyes of another who had previously seemed incapable. Hope that despite the deepest, most seemingly insurmountable divides, true connection between souls can be made.

Ulquiorra offered Orihime the hope that she could make a difference; to be the change she wanted to see. That her being exactly who she is was enough to make all the difference in the world; that she was significant. Orihime offered Ulquiorra hope that despite himself, there is something real about the intangible bonds between people, and that even a wretched void like him could feel the warmth of a compassionate soul, that he might be mourned, and that he could find someone to leave his heart with; someone who cared enough to reach back.

95 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

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