#and my capacity to be at all entertaining went with them

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Welcome to my Tuesday morning PSA about plastics!

So--I was walking along the Bolstadt beach approach sidewalk here in Long Beach, WA yesterday afternoon, and I started seeing these little orange pellets on the ground that looked a little bit like salmon roe (but probably weren't). So I picked one up, and it was most definitely rubber. I went around picking up every one I could find, and while I didn't keep exact count I probably amassed 50-60 of them. I took this picture before depositing them in the nearest trash can.

These are airsoft gun pellets, and you can buy them in big jars containing thousands of them. That means that someone who decided that the beach was a great place to shoot their airsoft guns could easily litter the place with countless little bits of plastic rubber in less than an hour. We already have a huge problem here with people leaving trash, including tiny bits of plastic, all over the beach (you should see the gigantic mess after 4th of July fireworks when thousands of people come in from out of town, blow things up, and then leave again without picking up after themselves.)

But these airsoft pellets have a particularly nasty side effect. You know how my first thought was "wow, those look kind of like salmon roe?" Well, we have a number of opportunistic omnivore birds like crows, ravens, and several species of gull that commonly scavenge on the beach, especially along the approaches because people often feed them there. If I can catch the resemblance of an orange airsoft pellet to a fish egg, then chances are there are wildlife that will assume they're edible.

Since birds don't chew their food, they probably won't notice that the taste or texture is wrong--it'll just go down the hatch. And since they can't digest the pellets, there's a good chance they might just build up in the bird's digestive system, especially if the bird eats a large number of them--say, fifty or sixty of them dropped on the ground along the same fifty foot stretch of sidewalk. The bird might die of starvation if there's not enough capacity for food in their stomach--or they might just die painfully of an impacted gut, and no way to get help for it. If the pellets end up washed into the ocean, you get the same issue with fish and other marine wildlife eating them, and then of course the pellets eventually breaking up into microplastic particles.

You can get biodegradable airsoft pellets; they appear to mainly be gray or white in color rather than bright screaming orange and green. But "biodegradable" doesn't mean "instantly dissolves the next time it rains." An Amazon listing for Aim Green biodegradable airsoft pellets advertise them as "Our biodegradable BBs are engineered to degrade only with long-term exposure to water and sun and will degrade 180 days after being used." That's half a year for them to be eaten by wildlife.

I don't know, y'all. That handful of carelessly dropped rubber pellets just encapsulates how much people don't factor in the rest of nature when making decisions, even on something that is purely for entertainment like an airsoft gun. We could have had a lot of the same technological advances we have today, but with much less environmental impact, if we had considered the long-term effects on both other people and other living beings, as well as our habitats. We could have found ways from the beginning to make these things in ways that benefited us but also mitigated any harm as much as possible. Instead we're now having to reverse-engineer things we've been using for decades, and sometimes--like the "biodegradable" airsoft pellets--they still have a significant negative impact.

But--at least there are people trying to do things better, thinking ahead instead of just on immediate profit. We're stuck in a heck of a mess here, figuratively and literally, and changing an entire system can't be done in a day. Maybe we can at least keep pushing for a cultural shift that emphasizes planning far into the future--if not the often-cited "seven generations ahead", then at least throughout the potential lifespan of a given product.

[cosyvelvetorchid]

buck/tommy: single dad tommy looses his son who wanders off after a fire engine. firefigher buck to the rescue

This was such a freaking adorable prompt! Thank you!

As always you can send me bucktommy, saltommy, or Tommy prompts to my ask. Fluff or smut or both. 🩶

*****

"Lucas can you please put your shoes on?" Tommy called out from the kitchen. He could still hear the cartoon blaring from the living room. More than once he'd imagined what harm he'd like to cause the person who invented Bluey. He finished packing their lunches, shoving them into his bag, and grabbed his phone and car keys before walking into the living room and turning off the TV. Lucas whined.

"You have 5 seconds to put your shoes on or you won't be riding the engine." He told him sternly. "5..4.." The 4 year old knew daddy meant business and quickly ran to the door and put on his shoes. "Good boy." Tommy smiled and lead him out to the car.

He was taking him to the annual community fire safety event they held down town. There were lots of exciting things for kids to do - rides, entertainers, and of course a chance to sit in a real engine! Usually Tommy would be working it but this year he had actually managed to get the day off to take his son.

Lucas had been buzzing with excitement about it since Tommy had first told him about it last week. He was counting down the sleeps like he did at Christmas. It had been the first thing he'd gotten excited about since his mom had died the previous year.

He was only 3 when she died and he didn't really understand what death meant, just that mommy was in heaven with the angels. But he certainly felt the loss of his mother. His personality was diluted. Tommy had taken him to a therapist specialising in grief therapy for children, and slowly but surely he began coming out of his shell more.

Evangelina and Tommy had been best friends since they were teenagers. The type of friendship where even when they lost contact for months or even years because of all the things they each had going on in their lives, when they reconnected it felt like no time had gone by.

5 years ago she had asked Tommy to help her get pregnant. She was desperate to be a mother but she was single and time was running out. They had many, many conversations about how it would work, how they would co-parent.. if Tommy even wanted to. They decided that if she were to get pregnant, when the kid was older they'd tell them about how they came to be, but until that point he would be Uncle Tommy.

As it happened, one trip the the fertility clinic, 1 donation and 1 insemination and Evangelina had a bun in the oven. The first few months of her pregnancy went like clockwork. Until the 2nd trimester when she found a lump in her breast. Cancer. Stage 3. She was given 2 options. Terminate the pregnancy and begin treatment, or delay treatment until the baby was born, which would risk the cancer spreading. She chose the latter. After many arguments with Tommy about it, he finally accepted that this was what she wanted.

Watching his son being born was the most beautiful thing Tommy had ever witnessed. He didn't think a human heart had the capacity for that much love. Sadly, within days of Lucas' birth they received the devastating news that Evangelinas cancer had spread to her lymph nodes and other organs. It was terminal. She fought like hell to live, but a month after Lucas' 3rd birthday she passed away.

"Come on, little man. Let's go see some fire trucks!" Tommy let him out of the car, taking his hand.

"Daddy look!" He pointed to a a giant Bluey mascot dressed in turn out gear. Tommy cursed under his breath. He couldn't get away from that little blue shit. "Can we go see him?" Lucas asked.

"Of course, buddy." He said with a smile leading him over. As much as Tommy couldn't stand that damn dog, the smile on his sons face was worth it. After that they rode the teacups, Lucas met some real life firefighters (that weren't his dad), he got to sit in an ambulance and blare the sirens, and he got given so many free stickers Tommy was already imagining having to remove them from the furniture at home.

There was one more thing to do and that was to sit in an engine. Except, what Lucas didn't know was that Tommy had organised with Capt Nash of the 118 a surprise ride in the truck. But first lunch needed to be eaten. A hangry 4 year old was not what anybody needed to deal with on a Sunday afternoon.

They found a picnic table and Tommy handed Lucas his sandwiches and chips. But in the rush trying to Lucas out of the door he'd forgotten the drinks.

"Shi-shoot!" He corrected himself. Trying to police his swearing wasn't easy now that Lucas was of an age where he repeated everything he heard. Thankfully there was a booth in the picnic area that served drinks.

"Lucas, I'm going to get us something to drink. I need you to stay right here, okay? I'll just be over there-" He pointed to the booth no more than 7 or 8 meters away "-you can see me the whole time."

"Okay." Lucas sang.

"You stay here, okay? You must not get off this bench. Do you understand?"

"Yep." He replied, peanut butter and jam smeared all around his mouth. Tommy walked to the booth, looking back every few seconds to make sure Lucas was where he should be. The lady in front of him in the line dropped her purse, spilling it everywhere. It only took Tommy 10 seconds to help her pick everything up but by the time he stood back up and looked to Lucas he was gone.

His heart immediately thunder against his chest.

"Lucas?!" He called out running over to the table. "Lucas!" He looked around. He was nowhere to be seen. Panic began to set in. He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. This had happened before in a grocery store a few months before and after Tommy spent 15 minutes freaking out, multiple calls over the annoy and a call to the police, Lucas was found at the other end of the store watching Bluey on one of the TVs.

There were tonnes of things at this event that a child would gravitate towards. He probably made a beeline for the Bluey mascot or an engine. No, Tommy wasn't going to freak out yet. He'd look for a few minutes first then get security.

***

"Buck have you given away ALL the candy?" Eddie asked.

"What? They're all just so adorable I couldn't say no!" Buck tried defending himself.

"You're such a push over." Eddie told him. "I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'll be back in 5." Buck waved him away as he bent down to the 4 year old standing in front of him.

"Hi" He said with a big smile. "Whats you're name?"

"Umm.. I'm not s'posed to say. You're a..a stranger."

"Thats good thinking. You're absolutely right." Buck looked around but there were no other adults in the vicinity that looked like they could be this kids parents. "Hey Buddy, are you parents here?"

"My daddy brought me to see the firetrucks." The kid told him.

"Well that's a cool dad you have, huh? Hey do you known where he is? Can you see him?" The boy looked around and lifted his hands up in an exaggerated shrug.

"Okay. Well you see this?" He pointed to the radio on his chest. "This is my very special radio. I can talk to some very cool people and maybe they can find your dad. How does that sound?"

"Okay." The boy said.

"Do you think it would be okay if you told me your name? That way I can tell my friend on the radio and it will help us find your dad." Buck asked. The boy thought about it for a second.

"My name is Lucas."

"It's nice to meet you Lucas. My name is Buck. You wanna sit in the truck while I radio my friend?"

"Yeah!" He said excitedly. Buck opened the door and lifted him up onto the seat, before getting on the radio. "Hey Cap?"

"Captain Nash here. What is is Buck?"

"I gotta kid here that seems to be lost."

"Im with Sergeant Grant now. Can you describe the kid?"

"How old are you buddy?" He asked Lucas.

"Im 4"

"He says he's 4 years old, names Lucas. Dark curly hair, wearing blue jeans and a black tshirt with a helicopter on it." He spoke into the radio.

"This is sergeant Grant. We have the father here. Where is the boy now?"

"I've got him in the engine."

"Keep him there, we're on the way."

"Good news, your dad's on the way." He told Lucas.

"My daddy is a fireman too." He said

"He is?"

"Yeah. He.. he flies helicopters too!" He said pointing to the picture on his shirt.

"Wow that is very cool!" Buck said. "You wanna put the lights and sirens on?"

"Yeah!"

"First things first, before we go to an emergency we have to be safe. So.." he grabbed a helmet from the back and gently placed in on Lucas' head. "There we go, now you're ready. See that button right there? Press it." Lucas leaned forward and pressed it and the sirens rang out.

"Woah!" Lucas cried out with a big smile. Buck smiled back, his heart melting at how adorable this kid was.

"Daddy!" He shouted pointing through the windscreen. Cap and Athena walked towards the engine with an unfamiliar man. Something shifted in Bucks stomach at the sight of him. He was tall, with a large muscular frame. A piece of his dark curly hair had fallen onto his face. Buck suddenly felt nervous. Buck switched off the siren.

"Lucas?" The man called as they reached the engine.

"Daddy! I got to put on the siren!" He said as Buck removed the helmet from him and lifted him down. The man bent down to his eyeline.

"Lucas, how many times have I told you, you cannot wall off like that? It really scares daddy when you do that." His voice was soft but strained. He hugged the boy tightly. Bucks chest tightened at the image in front of him of a scared father.

"Im sorry daddy."

"It's okay buddy." He kissed the top of his head and stood up. His eyes met Bucks and he caught a breath. The man in front of him was gorgeous. As tall as him with a slightly smaller build but long legs. He had an adorable pink birthmark by his left eyebrow underneath a head of gentle dirty blonde curls.

"Were you the one who found my kid?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah. Bu.. Evan. Evan Buckley."

Evan. Tommy couldn't help notice the similarity. Evangelina was all about signs from the universe, which He'd always waved away as hocum. But now..

"Tommy Kinard." He responded, somehow feeling nervous all of a sudden. "Thank you. For finding him." He smiled. Something about those smile lines around his eyes made Bucks heart beat a little faster.

"He actually found me if I'm honest." He laughed. Tommy looked at his son.

"I need to put bells on this kid I swear." He said. Buck smiled and Tommys mouth went dry.

"Hey Tommy, you still want that surpise thing?" Bobby asked walking over.

"So long as my kid stays in the damn truck, sure."

"What surpise?" Buck asked confused.

"Well-" Tommy said lifting Lucas up into his arms "-how would you like to go on a real life ride on an engine?" He asked Lucas.

"Can I daddy?" Lucas asked practically vibrating.

"I don't know. What do you think Captain Nash?" Tommy turned them to face him.

"I think that would be okay." He smiled.

"Well let's go then!" Tommy said to Lucas putting him the back of the engine.

"Buck, Eddie is dealing with a broken ankle by the teacups, so I need you to jump in." Bobby told him.

"Got it Cap." He jumped in the back as cap got in the drivers seat. Tommy buckled Lucas in, they he snd Buck sat either side of him. They caught eachothers gaze and held it for a few moments. Something sparked in both of their chests.

"You ready, kid?" Bobby called from the front.

"Yeah!"

"Here we go!" Bobby put the sirens on and turned on the engine.

[lxmelle]

Sukuna’s Choice.

I was truly struck by his stubborn resolve. He really stuck to his guns.

He was adamant he did not and could not live another way - as if anything different than what he had achieved would make him “weak”… maybe he did not know how to, or he had just decided so.

We see that he hated the idea that he was given compassion by Yuji - seeing it as pity from him.

Yuji saw him for what he was - as someone who had opportunity after opportunity to find deeper meaning but cast it away; as someone, who was desperate enough to turn himself into objects - for no other purpose than to prolong a hedonistic existence that sought momentary self-satisfaction for himself, alone.

He saw him as a curse to be given a chance… that maybe nobody ever had before - a chance without any conditions aside from being willing to accept his offer.

And it was pity in the end for Sukuna for rejecting salvation and anything to do with humanity. Even when he was shown so much. Given chances to experience it through the eyes of both Megumi and Yuji.

At the point of death, when given the choice to live with Yuji after his defeat, he preferred to die.

This was aligned with his unchanged view that: loss was no different to death. This was in his conversation with Yorozu.

His resilience only went as far as jujutsu. If he wasn’t the strongest, there was no reason for his life or existence. He boxed himself in. As if fearing what he might discover about his worth & identity beyond the Title.

Some people on X expressed their desire to understand him, asking aloud, was he afraid of death?

I honestly don’t know. My instincts doubt it was fear, but maybe there was a subconscious fear of vulnerability that comes with connection, so I think he didn’t see the value in loving or being loved. As if he accepted that he was just alone in this dog-eat-dog world. Disregarded value in connecting with anyone in any other way aside from jujutsu.

Like those who accepted the “monster” in them, none of them thought anyone will care about their bodies after death (think: Geto who didn’t think his family could care “run away if the mission fails”, Gojo who said who cares about one’s corpse, yet said “I want to mourn Suguru’s body”, Toji who wilfully forgets his children but tells Gojo about Megumi in his dying breath: “do what you want” and kill’s himself when his body information is resurrected, and Yuta who didn’t want Gojo to alone be the monster and volunteers himself: “I’ll do it!” singularly ignoring his friends’ concern for him) — Sukuna didn’t think anyone would mourn him. He left no afterthought for Uraume. Who killed themselves after he died. He didn’t want to care. He was prepared to let Yorozu have all of him if he lost which he equated to death.

Because if you consider (and accept) yourself as important to others, you realise your worth and value too. You may want to live again. Recreate purpose. Find new meaning. New beginnings. Like Megumi did...

Sukuna did not (could not?) even want to entertain the idea of living another way. He’d rather die than open his heart to humanity or compassion.

Funnily enough he was strangely “kind” in his own way. He was so objective in his monstrosity that he saw no nuance. He praised others based on jujutsu alone and how they entertained him. He had the capacity to be “human” but complete rejected it. Rejected any outer purpose...

He did not want to have any reason to live if it wasn’t to prove his strength. He did not want to compromise his own version of personal integrity. Instead of enjoying the taste and texture of human life through emotions and relationships - he ate people and enjoyed that! The absolute monster he chose to become in wielding his strength.

We saw Gege write about so many others, not only limited to the main characters… others like Kamo, Maki, Kusakabe, Higuruma, Choso, Yuta, etc. about meaning, purpose, humanity, sacrifice, & love. How they all tie together. How we change as we let others touch our hearts. How being vulnerable truly connects us.

I’ve written before about how it wasn’t for Gojo to teach Sukuna about love, although he played a big part in what was overall conveyed to him… Love that existed between everyone who identified as human, who fought for their own and collective reasons, against Sukuna. We got to bear witness - see and experience - the myriad of thoughts, emotions and reasons behind so many of their unique stories... it sang about meaning and purpose in sacrifice as well as determination.

What an ode to humanity in the face of a desperate situation.

Because if we think about it, the opposite of antidote of Monstrosity is Humanity. Being willing to love another besides yourself = accepting/wanting belonging, embracing the responsibility of being accountable to someone out of/for their love… all these include a willingness to be vulnerable.

Something Sukuna would never accept.

Sukuna was afraid to be vulnerable. If it wasn’t fear, then he actively rejected it. I suspect it was because he saw it as being weak.

Maybe he never knew love; but through what he lived & learned back in the Heian times up until now, saw its power to transform even a monster who aspired to be like him, so he deemed it worthless. Him and Uraume talked about humanity being the thing that prevented them from reaching their potential, after all.

Why should he change if he was already so strong? What was the purpose of connecting to any other being when he was at the top of the food chain? There was no need to give himself a “weakness” through caring for another.

His survival was the singular proof of his perceived worth.

And that seems like what he clung onto. Instead, he ate the actual humans as if they were flavours, because that was the ultimate rejection of humanity - to consume people as if they were food. To toy with them as if they were passing dishes until the next meal came along.

That’s just my interpretation... My understanding is that he chose death rather than accept the vulnerability that comes with love. Not for Uraume or from Yuji. His heart was solidly, fearfully, shut.

He only recognised skill & praised others for it. His chosen singular flavour.

Many of us thought there could be redemption for Sukuna. I guess it remains to be seen if Sukuna did actually choose to evaporate & die, but assuming he did opt to die, he really didn’t want to face another alternative. Choosing to remain on his path and die as the “Strongest”. I had thought that he’d see humanity from living within Yuji & Megumi - and he did, especially within Yuji’s domain expansion. He saw it and rejected it completely. What he disliked about Yuji & said to him at the end reminds me of what Jung said: we can learn about ourselves through what irritates us.

He praised Yuji for being a fool... but maybe Sukuna was the fool himself.

He played a role all the way through too.

He was the unwavering curse in the face of love / acceptance.

Jujutsu Kaisen is truly story about curses and love. Like two halves of one thing. The many ways a person can live their lives, and how it can make sense/is justifiable to them.

Who was he if he wasn’t revered or feared as the Strongest?

So… He stayed true to himself. He likened himself to a curse in the end. Love, once again, prevails.

Ah, I look forward to having a few reads of the whole series again when it is finished...

…but I’ll honestly be so very sad when it ends.

[ferigrieving]

kiss me (until my lips fall off).

⊹ ࣪ ˖ kiss me until my lips fall off / kiss me until i start to rot

⤷ masterlist ; requests open

your copy of dracula was well worn. its cover had irreparable water damage, peeling in the corners, and a concerning amount of tabs sticking out of its side. it was well worn, post-it notes on every other page, and indecipherable annotations crammed in every open space. 

tokoyami had looked at you like you were holding a bomb when you had handed him the book, convinced that the manuscript for the original was in your hands with the state it was in.

now he found himself at his desk, pouring over the book, while you lounged on his bed, idly flipping through a FRUiTS magazine.

“have you seen my quill, love?” the boy across from you inquired, rummaging through his drawers to no avail. 

“mm. i ate it, sorry.” you giggled, rolling over and placing the magazine back where it belongs.

he raised a brow at you. “haha. real funny.” he huffed, continuing looking through his drawers, mumbling something about always replacing things. 

rolling your eyes, you reached under the bed and rummaged around, pulling out one of the many things you had hidden a multitude of his things. with the tip of your wing, you dropped it in front of him, not without a light shove to the shoulder.

with a click of his beak, he thanked you, turning and dipping it into his near-empty inkwell. you made a mental note to buy a new one when you went out.

you watched tokoyami with amusement as he meticulously flipped through the pages of your battered book, careful not to rip or tear anything, as if that would make any difference. his furrowed brow and intense focus were a stark contrast to how you laid on his bed, borderline falling asleep. 

you had read thru this issue more times than you could count, and you decided watching him struggle with the book was more than enough to keep you entertained.

as fought to decipher what exactly was going on in your annotations, you couldn't help but admire the way his silhouette was illuminated by the soft glow of his many candles. 

the room felt cosy, and you figured it would only seem that way to the two of you, and maybe that one bird pro-hero you had forgotten the name of. his bed resembled that exactly of a bird’s nest, except it was made with pillows, stolen stuffed animals, and layers and layers of comforters.

feathers were jammed between each and every pillow, ranging in size and colour, but most were that of either his, or yours, a result of being too lazy to clean them up after moulting. in the corners of the bed, stuffed animals of various shapes and sizes were nestled, the only pop of colour in the entire room. among them were different birds of prey, but a majority were either ravens, or crows, meticulously arranged as if they were guarding the two of you as you slept.

“hey,” he started. “have you read wuthering heights?”

tokoyami knew the answer. of course he did. he had watched you attempt to read it during lunch, and put it down after ten pages. you had told him that you didnt have the brain capacity right for it at the moment. he never saw you pick it up again.

“...yeah.”

“you have not. otherwise you would have rambled about it in excruciating detail by now.” he tapped his quill against the table, huffing. “i was thinking we could go to the library to check another book like it. one that takes less brain power, of course.”

“on a date? how sweet.” you grinned, sitting up and tucking your knees to your chest.

“i suppose it is.” he quipped, standing up and making his way over to you. “you’ve been laying in bed all day, love. my legs are going numb.”

he tucked into bed beside you, laying his head on your lap and playing with the tips of your feathers. “do i now?” you wrap your wings around his body in some sort of makeshift cocoon, making up for the blanket you were hogging.

you loved these moments of affection between you two. you pressed a kiss on his forehead, and he responded with a grumble, pressing his face into your stomach. tokoyami lay there with you for a solid ten minutes before glancing at the clock.

“love,” he sighed.” “we should probably get dressed, lest we wish to not make it to the library before it closes.”

“that means i’d have to get up!” 

“a horrific possibility.” he hummed.” “we could always go tomorrow, if you are feeling lazy.” he stood up, stretching and ruffling his feathers. “however, we both know that neither of us will be awake before noon tomorrow, so lets just go now, okay?”

you pout, removing your wings as some sort of punishment as you turn away from him.

he raised a brow. “what an injustice. i offer to go on a date with you, and you refuse to get out of bed. im going to have to resort to violence it seems.

in one swift move, he pinned you down on his bed, an indistinguishable smile on his face. “i suppose ill have to drag you to the library.”

“nooo…!” you whined, thrashing playfully.

he giggled, kissing the side of your jaw. “oh, dont be so overdramatic, dear. its just a couple of books, and perhaps some food afterwards. is that so bad?” he gave you another kiss, and another, and another, until your whole face was tingly from the feeling of his beak against your skin.

“are ya’ gonna treat me to dinner, fumi’?”

“thats not even a question, of course i will, my love. now come on, we have a library to go to.” he hummed, pulling you up along side him. “lets get dressed, then we can go on our date.” hopping to his feet, he opened his closet, sorting through until he found something suitable.

“love, where is my vest?”

you looked away from him, buttoning up your dress shirt as you pointedly ignore the vest wrapped around your body.

he smiled, chuckling as he nudged you in the stomach. “where did you even find that?” without waiting for a response, he grabbed one of your vests that you had left in his room the day prior and pulled it on over his band tee.

you’re wearing borderline the exact same outfit, as always. “so, are you ready?”

he grabbed his keys off his desk, and shoved them in his pocket. without saying another word, he pulled you out of bed once more, and began to tug you out the door. “lets go, my darling.”

tokoyami, pulling you down the street, thumb rubbing over the back of your palm. “do you wanna fly, my love?” you grinned.

with one large flap of your wings  you propelled yourself up into the air with tokoyami in your grasp. he could fly too, and you often launched him into the air after you like some sort of rocket launcher. the sight of the city below you two was always breathtaking. you could never get tired from seeing the world so high up.

tokoyami, of course, was holding onto you for dear life. flying was all fun and games right up until the moment when it wasnt.

this time, he held on tight, the wind whipping through his feather, his face buried in your neck. all he could smell was the strawberry of your perfume. he was content like this, holding onto you for his life, as the two of you approached the library.

as you landed, pulling him onto the ground with you, tokoyami’s knees wobbled. he clutched your shoulder for dear life, not trusting in his body to stay upright and not embarrass him.

“you’re  a nightmare, love. i swear, one of these days–” he started, walking through the library entrance after you. “one of these days, what? “

he glanced away, muttering something about ‘one of these days im going to have a stroke.” 

he let go of your hand for the first time since leaving, and led you through the shelved. he paused occasionally, skimming his fingers over the dust jackets. “you never did tell me what you were looking for.” he commented idly.

“anything but wuthering heights, maybe a little life. i heard shoji talk about it over lunch.”

he chuckled, running his fingers over a shelf dedicated to fantasy. “of course you’d pick one of the most depressing books to read over spring break. you’re such a romantic.”

“love you too, fumi’.”

he shook his head, a small smile on his face. “i love you too, dearest.”

he finally stopped at the gothic lit section, and you watched his eyes light up. tokoyami walked  along the section, examining each book. he pulled a few books from the shelf, and began flipping through one. “the picture of dorian grey. i’ve been meaning to pick this up.

he flipped through a few more, and added another few books to the ever growing stack he and dark shadow held. the bird was not pleased about it, and cawed something about ‘children’s books’.

you rolled your eyes, and took some of the books from the bird, placing them gently in the basket you held. tokoyami had something of a frown on his face, trying to take the books back from you. “i can carry them just fine myself, love.”

“yeah, but then you wont be able to get more, dumbass.”

he stared at you in shock, placing his hand over his chest in mock hurt. “how rude. is this how you show your love for me? calling me names?”

“blah blah blah, i dont wanna fuckin’ here it, fumi’!” you grin, taking a seat at one of the many tables littered around the library. tokoyami set his books down at the table, and crossed his arms. he stepped behind you, wrapping his arms around you and placing a kiss on your neck. his head rested on your shoulder. tokoyami seemed unwilling to let you go, and you weren’t inclined to fight him.

“i love you, evem if you dont listen to me. and take my books. and call me names.”

“i love you too, bird brain. now, lets go check out, yeah?”

tokoyami grumbled something unintelligible underneath his breath, but nodded anyways. he released his hands from your waist slowly, and grabbed the cart of books. 

“did you forget your card again..?”

he scoffed as you led him towards the front desk, placing the books down at the counter. “me? never.” tokoyami reached into his pocket, averting his gaze when he realised he had in fact, forgotten his card.

“i swear you do this deliberately.” you commented from beside him, already pulling out your card.”

“i dont, i promise!” he defended himself, feathers bristling at the accusation.

“yeah, yeah. whatever man.” you roll your eyes and scan all the books, handing it back to your boyfriend to place in his tote bag.

he grumbled, mock offended. “i know, im horrible. im the worst.” tokoyami waited impatiently as you sorted through the books. he was beginning to become restless, rocking back and forth on his heels, dark shadow whining and tugging on your wings.

“mhm, sure. is there anythin’ else you wanna do while we’re out, fumi’?” you hummed, holding the door open for him as he left. the sun had set, casting the buildings across from you in bright hues of orange. “anything but fly home.” tokoyami huffed, purposefully stepping on your toes. 

“can’t make any promises, love.”

“ah, you’re a horrible person.”

“love you too.”

keeping your silent promise, you walked through the streets of musutafu, one hand on your tote bag, and the other intertwined with your boyfriend’s. he had awfully cold hands for a warm blooded animal. you were planning on beelining straight to the dorms and curling up in tokoyami’s room to read, but god forbid you dont get a sweet treat when you can.

you found yourself in front of an array of pastries, all catching your eye in their own unique way. you werent particularly picky when it game to baked goods, as long as it was good. asking your boyfriend was no help either, he was like an eightball with only two answers. “i have no idea,” and “whatever looks good to you, my love.”

“just a dozen brownies, please, ma’am?” you smiled, placing the yen on the tray and taking the box gently. you watched tokoyami reach into his pocket to presumably pay, but it was clear that he not only had forgotten his library card, but his whole wallet.

he took your hand once more outside of the local cafe you had just visited, dark shadow opening the box of brownies and shoving them in his beak. “so good,” he mumbled through a mouthful of chocolate.”

“stop talking when you have food in your mouth, weirdo!” you smacked him with your wings playfully, sticking your tongue out at him in fake disgust.

he rolled his eyes, waving a brownie in your face. “you want one, darling?”

“well, i was saving those for when we got back home, but someone decided to get a head start. not gonna name names though.”

“stop complaining ! i know for a fact you want one.”

“i do! but if– if i eat them now, i wont have any later..” you pouted, taking the brownie and placing it back in the box neatly.

“seriously, love. i cant believe youre passing up an opportunity to eat something sweet.” he tutted, taking the brownie he had offered to you and swallowing it whole. “what kind of monster are you?”

“a terrible, terrible, one, that only an aspiring pro-hero can tame…”

he stood up on his tip-toes, bumping his beak against your cheek in a ‘kiss’. “unfortunately, i have come to love this dreaded monster.”

you find yourself close to the dorms, and without warning, you pick tokoyami up like a sack of potatoes and launch yourself up into the air, giggling as you shot through his window and landed in a heap on his bedroom floor.

as always, tokoyami was not particularly fond of your behaviour. he was muttering something along the lines of ‘god, kill me now.’ and ‘why did i even agree to this relationship.’ 

after a few minutes, he sat up, and gave his best attempt at a scowl as you could get with a face like his. “do you derive some form of sick, twisted delight by doing that?”

“...a little.”

he sighed and shook his head. he knew better to argue by now. all that mattered were that the brownies were in one piece. he got to his feet, dusting himself off before offering a hand to help you up. “the things i do for love.”

“aww, you love me? how sweet.” you crooned, placing your hands together and twirling him around.

“of course i love you, dear.” he said, taking your hand and lifting up to his beak, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles.. “its horrible.”

tokoyami tugs you closer, slinging his arms around your waist and pulling you down onto the rug. he placed another kiss on your forehead, “absolutely horrible.”

he sighed, burying his head in the crook of your neck. “why did i ever agree to date you? i was so normal before you, y’know.”

“youre literally like the least normal person i know, fumikage.”

he gave you a pointed look, “and you think youre normal, dear? youre anything but normal. youre… insane.”

“hey. i never said anythin’ about myself now.” you hummed, feeling yourself become drowsy from how comfortable it was laying in each others arms. it was oddly comfortable on your boyfriend’s floor. “i think… ill just fall asleep here. forget the books.” you felt yourself get lifted up by the waist, getting hauled over to tokoyami’s bed and flopping you down like a ragdoll. “we can start the book later, my love.” he shifted around a little, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close.

it was quiet, for a moment, a comfortable silence you’d grown to love. 

“dear?”

“yes, love?”

“...stay here?” tokoyami inquired, voice barely above a whisper. you mumbled an ‘mhm.’ against his neck, he was so warm.

you were fighting a battle against sleep and loosing. “read to me, fumi’.” you murmured.

you felt him nod, moving your wings out of the way to reach over to his desk and grab your copy of dracula. he flipped through the pages once more, searching for the handmade bookmark you had given to him on valentine’s day. his voice was soft, the monotonous hum lulling you into a deeper sleep.

not even five minutes had past before he felt your wings go limp, and when he looked up from his book, he found you passed out on his lap, a bit of drool seeping our your mouth. gross.

he gently closed the book and put it back where it belonged, and rolled over, wrapping his arms around you once more. 

in nothing but the soft glow of the moonlight, tokoyami watched as you drifted off into a peaceful sleep, breathing steady and serene. with a smile, he leaned down to brush a stray locke of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear gently. 

carefully, he adjusted his position, making sure not to ruffle your feathers as he held you close. your warmth was intoxicating. he felt like he couldnt get enough of you.

with a contented sigh, he closed his eyes, allowing himself tosuccumb to the soothing rhythm of your breathing, knowing as long as you were by his side, he was exactly where he belonged.

[chromaticleaf]

Can't get Murder Drones out of my head. Almost like some eldritch code has taken root inside my brain. It's probably fine.

Anyway, headcanons for what the murder trio were before Tessa got them:

J was almost certainly in some corporate position. I like to think she was involved in marketing, since she has all those buzzwords ingrained in her lexicon. Maybe they even had her working with graphic design with her art skills. I also imagine she kinda hates corporate structure. "Bootlicker J" jokes aside, I can't imagine even she would have fun as a (literal) corporate slave, and she definitely enjoys freely speaking her mind: not something that flies very well in corporate and marketing contexts. Maybe she got dumped during some convoluted office politics, maybe she was dumped due to random downsizing, who knows.

N's a bit trickier. We see a lot of dexterity and showmanship from him in the manor. He's quite flashy with the glassware at a few points. He also likes drawing, but is lacking in technical skill, especially compared to J. He's also quite personable and friendly, and also seems to truly admire J in some capacity. As a bonus, Cyn mimics a lot of N's mannerisms, and one of her defining traits is her acting, even specifically playing at "improv" while rebuilding J. Therefore, I think N was in theater/entertainment.

He wasn't necessarily an actor himself: still a robot slave after all. But he likely assisted with a lot of setup. Rehearsals, testing stunts, watching over pets/kids (whether those of actors or actors themselves), etc. He enjoys fancy costumes as well, and he's pretty genre aware. He's probably had his fair share of experience with horror movies/stories. Maybe he got dumped pissing off the wrong famous person, maybe some stunt went wrong and they didn't want to bother repairing him, maybe they just wanted the newest model.

V is tough to decide. She seems to enjoy fighting the most out of all of them, but none of them are really slouches in combat, so I don't think that says much about her past. We don't see much of her in the manor, but the impression she gives is a bit more shy and demure. We see her playing chess in the credits, but one hobby doesn't mean much on its own, especially since chess is a common game to put on computers: probably all of them have chess programs built-in.

With that little to go off of, and her tendency to both act out in outrageous ways and keep herself closed-off, I'm thinking she was probably a menial worker beforehand. Minimal freedom, in a position where she'd best keep her head down. Follow the rules closely in order to keep what little she has. "Do your job and I leave you and N alone" was probably a pretty good deal to V because it was as good or better than her previous work arrangements.

Could be a lot of jobs like that for a robo-slave. But let's have fun with it and extrapolate from her usage of "narc" and her apparent desensitization to violence: she was used by a criminal organization for clean-up duty, and got dumped after being confiscated by authorities.

[stuckinapril]

i saw your posts about studying and i want to know if you have any advice for people looking to get back into the swing of things? even though i was once technically high achieving i feel like i never really cultivated that study muscle properly cause i was just riding talent till i crashed. i've been kinda rotting outside academia for years doing jobs that don't challenge me & i want to go back to school and try to get to a career i actually care about. but i fear i can't get in anywhere and even if i do, i'll show up with my weak/rotted study muscles and just...flop. 🙃 how did you build up your study capacity? any advice would be very much welcome. thank you 💛

Doing dopamine resets has helped me so much w this. I know at this point “dopamine detox” has become a buzz word in productivity spaces, but there really is truth to the fact that our dopamine receptors are fucked—and when you’re first trying to get back on the wagon, it’s important to do it w a mind that is not aching for the tiniest glimmer of entertainment it can find. You can’t get to the finish line if you’re always distracted and veering off course. Quit your phone cold turkey for a few days (or however long you need), eat bland food, don’t listen to music. Literally just be okay w being bored.

Building stamina for studying follows the same principle as building stamina for anything: progressive overload. I had periods where I went from doing absolutely nothing to overloading my schedule w 8 hours of study time, gym, friends, meal prep… and then I burned out and quit and the cycle repeated. I recommend starting off w unimpressive goals for the day (30 minutes of study time, a 10 minute walk, 20 flash cards a day) and then gradually amping it up to your ideal goals (8 hours of study time, 1 hour daily workouts, 300+ flash cards).

And if you find that my example is still too challenging, make it even simpler. 5 minutes of studying is better than 0, even if you think 5 minutes are too little. You really have to take the ego out of it when you’re first getting back on track. It also helps lower the barrier of entry—in my experience starting out w the goal in mind that I wanted to do 8 hours of studying made me not want to start at all, especially after a prolonged hiatus, whereas knowing my goal was 30 minutes got me to start w little resistance bc it didn’t intimidate me. Once you’ve started, it’s usually pretty easy to keep going and you end up doing more than what you set out to do. When 30 minutes become easy, go for an hour. When an hour becomes easy, go for two. Progressive overload.

Also!! So important!! But don’t be scared. Like this will sound so corny, but half the battle is believing you can do it (even if it might take you longer than your peers, even if you struggle at first). Having a defeatist attitude sets you up for failure regardless of how high your potential really goes. So long as you’re pushing yourself hard enough, being mindful of your limits, planning things diligently and sticking to them, you’ll succeed at literally anything you want to do. Unequivocally trusting in that has saved me so much grief.

[preggydump]

Based on a concept I had around bards reputations for flirting, seduction, and getting knocked up. What if instead of being mocked and ridiculed for their pregnant state this was actually considered a strength of bards? Long ago a group of bards came together and formed the first bardic stronghold, to protect bards and their children. The Bards were known as ambassadors, negotiators, mediators and centralized and provided those services for kingdoms who contracted them.

At first the Bards weren't taken seriously, many nobles boasted that the traditionally nomadic bards had no power or leverage. But the Bards were able to promise security and power in an unexpected way: through birthing bastards.

Bards often were requested to perform when they traveled through kingdoms and nobles lands, and they often tumbled into bed with very powerful and influential people looking for a but of rowdy fun. But many times the bard was left with a noble bastard or two growing in their belly, as it became harder and harder to entertain and travel. Most people saw this as a bad thing, deserving of a negative reputation. But the Bards turned this perception around. For a bastard was a potential heir, a promise that a bloodline would continue even if the noble and their family were disposed of and slain. And a bastard raised by Bards were given their protection and training, growing up to be skilled in all the things that nobles respected and taught their own rightful heirs.

Over the centuries the Bards and their BardHold grew stronger and stronger and their reputation grew. In most of the surrounding kingdoms it became an honor to have a bastard or several raised in BardHold. It became a bargaining tool to negotiate contracts, to broker alliances without marrying off their rightful heirs, a back-up plan in case things went south. The Bards raised these children and any children given to them communally and with overwhelming love. A child born to a Bard was a child to all Bards. A child adopted by a Bard was a child to all Bards. A child given to a Bard was a child to all Bards.

Anyone, whether Bard or not, who found themselves unexpectedly pregnant and with no where to go, or even just anyone looking for peace and shelter, were welcomed with open arms and adopted into BardHold, for they remembered the struggle and hardships their founders endured.

It is common for nobles and kings alike to employ the services of the Bards for contracts, alliances, treaties, and other negotiations. Whether they had a Bard of the BardHold Union employed and stationed in their council, or if they were contracted as needed, Bards were given reverence and respect almost anywhere they went and Ambassador Bards were one of the most highly respected class of Bards in the lands. A king without the council of an Ambassador Bard was said to be poor, weak, a fool, or all three together.

All this to say: here are the first sketches of my OC Floren, hes one of, if not the, most respected Ambassador Bards in the land because he is the Ambassador Bard for BardHold itself. So he negotiates alliances, trades, etc. for the Bards themselves rather than for any one kingdom like most Ambassador Bards would (although he does occasionally do that but only in a very temporary capacity). He's very good at his job, and actually is such a skilled negotiator that he doesn't actually need to promise the birth of Bardic Bastard very often. He's just an elf so his pregnancies last super long :)

Featured is Ser Gwinet, a knight of a nearby kingdom who Floren crosses paths with a lot, and considers a good friend. Especially after that one time he misjudged how close to going into labor he was, and Ser Gwinet ended up helping Floren deliver his charges in the woods like a mile outside of BardHold. They both respect each other a lot and whenever their paths cross they feel relieved that someone they trust and is very capable in their respective strengths is there to back them up in case things go south during a negotiation.

And also sometimes they fuck.

[bangtanhoneys]

GRACE TOUR: March 19th 2025 - SEOUL

Gocheok Sky Dome was starting to fill up nicely. Vendors were selling the last of their merch and ARMY were getting their drinks and snacks, making their way to their seats…all 25,000. Of course, there were plenty of celebrities who had turned up for what was going to be the first night of Grace Chu’s solo tour. 

Members of Seventeen, Tomorrow By Together, XG, Black Pink, IU, CL, Ateez, Twice, Ailee, G-Dragon, Jay Park were just a few names that ARMY were whispering about when they had spotted the idols in the various VIP seats. Not only that, there were entertainers, comedians and politicians who had turned out tonight. It seemed as if half of Seoul’s idol world had turned out to see what was going to become of the In My Head Tour.

As the arena was filling up, various BTS music videos with the appropriate song were played over the speakers. With most of the members still in the military, only two members were present and they were backstage enjoying the snacks provided for the main star. 

“Did you come for the food or to support me?” Grace asked, laughing in the makeup chair as she watched Seokjin fill up his plate with traditional British food. J-Hope was next to him, doing exactly the same but on a smaller plate. It was a nice distraction from the nerves that were swirling in her stomach as updates came in from Sejin about the arena capacity and who he had spotted in the audience. 

“Both!” the two men said as they sat down at the small table provided. 

She rolled her eyes and tried not to move again as the make up artist applied the make up, not a lot but enough to do give her the look she was going for. Her newly dyed blonde hair had been styled down into loose waves but pushed away from her face so it wouldn’t get in the way of anything. 

The dancers, fourteen males and seven women, were in their respective rooms getting ready as well. The noise from them was enough to drown out the noise from the crowd above, singing along to the music being provided. 

“Here she is!”

Grace glanced over, seeing Bang PD arrive with Sejin and Hobeom, all with flowers in their hands. 

“I didn’t know you were coming,” she grinned as the make-up artist paused and allowed her to jump off the chair to go hug her favourite men. 

“Of course! I’ve got a box with the two hungry men over there and a few others,” her CEO nodded in the direction of the BTS members who were currently resembling their BT21 characters with how stuffed their cheeks were. 

“One hour call,” the stage manager announced from the door. 

“You finish getting ready, boys finish that up and I’ll meet you upstairs.”

It wasn’t hard to ignore the noise that suddenly erupted from the seats as the VCR started playing as Grace crouched on the lift, letting out a deep breath as she held onto her mic tight. Her female dancers were spread onto two other lifts, all looking excited and nervous but ready to go. 

The moment 7 Rings began to play, Grace was lifted to the stage.

The roar from the crowd almost drowned out the music in her ears and from the band behind. ARMY had been waiting years for Grace to show off the skills they knew she had for a solo stage and for a solo concert. The hype around this tour had been immense, with international news also picking up on what was expected to be one of the highest grossing tours. 

From her view, Grace could see the ARMY bombs light up purple in tandem with the beat of the music and all worries and fears went out the window when she could hear them singing back to her. This was (mostly) a Korean crowd, singing in English, back to her. 

The dancers moved easily with her, especially the seven male dancers who moved past the female dancers as they had been practising for over a year. It felt complete to dance with seven dancers, making her feel like she was back with the boys again and each male dancer had been, jokingly, given their BTS equivalent. 

The worries about hitting the high notes and making sure she breathed easy felt stupid now. They flowed out with ease and while she was sure it wasn’t going to be like this for every tour, it gave her the confidence as the music and lights and VCR slipped into In My Head. 

The song choice was met with another roar of approval from the crowd as Grace moved down the stage to the start of the thrust stage where one dancer, given the nickname Jimin was waiting for her and another nicknamed Tae was waiting further down to join them. 

By the time they got to the next costume change, Grace was on cloud nine. 

Of course, they didn’t expect her to bring Butter to the stage. 

Nor did they expect her to sing everyone’s lines perfectly, stay in the centre of the formation and deliver the song perfectly.

From the VIP section, Seokjin was recording the Butter performance to send to the boys while everyone in their box sang along to the lyrics. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Hobi narrowed his eyes when the dance break came and remained like that until it was finished and the final verse was being sung.

“Perfect as always,” Hobi yelled over the sound of the music, giving a thumbs up to the camera with the big screen in the background as Grace rapped ‘ice on my wrist I’m the nice guy.’ Seokjin laughed and zoomed in, as the dancers formed their ARMY sign with Grace at the end, throwing a finger heart to the camera. 

By the time the concert was over, ARMY had been left on the biggest high. It had been awhile since they could sing and dance along to BTS’ songs in a concert environment and Seokjin could hear them as they began to leave once the lights came on and staff were directing them on where to go. 

Backstage, Grace found herself covered in the arms of her parents. 

“We’re so proud,” her mother cried as her father patted her head. 

“Mum, let me go, I’ve got to get this makeup off,” Grace laughed but hugged her back all the same as she watched her father then shake and hug all the dancers as they headed towards their respective changing rooms. 

Everyone was happy, content and more than made up that the first concert had been a success. The noise down the corridor from stage hands, HYBE management, staff, make-up artists and the like was louder than the ARMY’s singing as they left. 

“Ah who needs BTS when we’ve got Grace Chu,” Hobi laughed as he entered the dressing room, arms wide open which Grace all but bounced into. 

“Did I do okay? Are you happy?” she asked her dance captain, who threw his arms around her and spun her around the room.

“Happy? He was crying at one point,” Seokjin mentioned as he was followed by Bang PD, IU, CL and even Tomorrow by Together. 

By the end of the night and by the time Grace got home, social media had exploded with the news. 

Grace Chu had been turned into a solo megastar. 

[tubbytarchia]

I love to imagine how shocked and surprised the ranchers and Pearl would be when they both realize that the ranchers don’t fear Pearl and that Pearl isn’t ridiculing the ranchers for even a second

Like they’d be flabbergasted

“Wait your not scared of me??”

“Wait your not gonna make fun of us???”

Just imagine them standing together like that one Spider-Man point meme

Sorry this answer is about to go on a bit of a general ranchers/pearl thought spree but YEAH this, lmao. They have more in common than they'd think!! Alas fate was cruel and it feels like two ships that were so close to meeting but just barely missed each other in the night, sailing right past

Jimmy at least has Tango to not be alone in his ridicule but even with their heads put together they wouldn't have enough brain capacity to care about what others are saying about Pearl. And well, there WAS session 3 when Jimmy shooed Pearl away because of. powdered snow?????? And because she was holding a sculk sensor?? Honestly I don't think Jimmy even at that point cared much about her being labelled as crazy, or didn't perceive it as anything significant, because it never came up unless I'm mistaken? Not once did the ranchers mention that? Jimmy did still break my heart in that moment but I don't think he realized the gravity of what he was doing. I think he was leaning into that more jokingly than anything but also... maybe Scott's presence at that very moment influenced him (cough because flower husbands past cough)

Tango most certainly wouldn't care about what Scott was spreading about Pearl. Scott could come and tell it to his face and he'd be like "uhuh yup!" and then forget immediately because he's Tango (not because he's stupid, he just doesn't think about things he doesn't consider important in relation to him). And Jimmy I think might care more if he weren't in like a happy ranch marriage with Tango and stuff. They'd be aware but not know how deep others' perception of Pearl went, nor would they care unless Pearl wronged them in any significant way

Jimmy wasn't surprised by Pearl's kindness to them in getting the goat horns, probably mostly because he was racking his brain too hard over Minecraft mechanics and being too overjoyed when they did get said horns, but probably also because he expected it to be a one-off thing? But I'd like to think that when Pearl returned to apologize after making a fool of him by stealing Oreo (the horse) with Martyn, and Jimmy kept asking "Are you serious?" when Pearl offered to give the horse back for nothing in exchange this time, that that was when he was really taken aback. Pearl once again showed some form of kindness, even as she was being shunned by everyone (moreso now than in session 2) and as she started to lean into the label of "crazy" that she was given because what else was she to do, all alone? Even then she ran back to Jimmy to apologize and give the horse back. And Jimmy, sweet child, offers friendship at last. But then he got ahead of himself when Pearl asked for confirmation and he went "You know you'd be an even better friend if you gave my horn back too!" and Pearl had to admit she'd already given it to Martyn, after which they kind of just separated without saying much. Clearly Jimmy was disappointed but mm he didn't even proclaim that Pearl wasn't welcome anymore or anything... It was certainly implied through his silence but knowing Jimmy, he would have gotten defensive and made his stance clear, but he didn't, which was either because he didn't want to, because maybe he still wanted to entertain the idea of Pearl making it up to him, OR he was just that fucking sad. He just said "right" and left as Pearl laughed (also I refuse to believe there was malice there in her laugh. What else was she gonna do in response) Either way oh my god I hate it I'm so sad

Anyway so. Their interactions past session 2 were mostly unfortunate but to me it's just... SUCH CRUEL FATE because YOU'RE RIGHT ANON. I really think they could have made it work but because Pearl was in the position that she was in, she didn't consider the idea of ever allying with anyone seriously enough and when she would have, with the ranchers, she'd already felt like she missed her chance. I'd like to imagine her laugh then, when Jimmy left her at the gate of the ranch was that of realization that maybe this friendship really could have happened, but she messed it up. And I'd like to think the ranchers would have still ultimately welcomed her into an alliance, had Pearl not given up trying, because she probably thought that if the ranchers hadn't thought badly of her yet, they must have now. Because no one wanted her, why would the ranchers be an exception? I'm gonna stop my unrefined elongated rant before I completely lose myself um hi hello I'm sorry that I got emotional in response to an anon ask describing the spiderman meme LMAO I'm a bit ill

[larrythefloridaman]

remembering how cobalt said he'd befriended P. Rool in some capacity in gaiden 5 and im thinking about how funny that is in the wider context of their characters

Plum: -so thats the thing, right? The rules were stacked against me just 'cause the guy in charge of everything decided he didnt like me. At first I didnt even do anything but be... sorta abrasive? A jerk, kinda? I tried to follow the rules as best I could, maybe fudged things a little around the edges but no more than anybody else, I was supposed to be a HEEL and the rules were loose! Theyre still loose! They let other people get away with the same and worse! But I had no say in them, there was no way to get what i wanted or what id rightfully earned no matter how hard I worked, because 'the king of kerfuffle said so' was the law, it didnt need to be logical to be the rules, and when the boss says the rules are 'fuck that guy in particular,' theres nothing you can do to make 'em change their mind. Even if they keep letting ya play, its not because they ever plan to let ya win! They just wanna entertain themselves watching ya struggle. and worst part was, because the guy who makes the rules is the one who had a vendetta against me, everybody's perspective on me got all warped, because it was just a part of the rules that that was the way to treat me and the commentators and staff did nothing but spit on me, so most people just went along with it, some helped ENFORCE it, even normally decent folks acted like it was fine, and the madder I got about it, the worse people treated me, and the more justified they felt for doing it when I reacted bad!

Plum: eventually I just exploded, i mean i just saw RED, and i started treating EVERYBODY like a potential extension of the enemy, if I played nice it wasnt because I liked anybody, it was to try to pull one over on someone who I thought had decided it was their job to hurt me. Rationally I knew better, sure, the way I was behaving wasn't good or kind, but I wasn't really in any kinda headspace to think rationally about the situation. If it weren't for therapuppy managing to nip that episode in the bud, I coulda hurt somebody real bad! Hell, I almost hurt her! I DID hurt Jenny, thankfully not too bad, she was only out of commission for a few hours thanks to the MD... but theres also a selfish part of me I'm not too proud of that finds it kinda hard to feel any guilt about it, because I'd never have lost grip of my judgement and done any of that if I'd just been treated right by her dick boss t'begin with.

Cobalt, god of balance and by extension, you'd hope, fairness, apparently perceiving absolutely zero thematic parallels to anyone or anything in his life whatsoever: I see. That is very tragic. I'm sorry my brother added to the misfortunes you've suffered as a result of these tournaments.

[wanderingwilsons]

Me and the kiddos took the opportunity to join in on a city tour of Misawa last week and I learned so much. Not just about the place I live, but my capacity as a parent.

Slight disclaimer--Sometimes you just need to remind yourself of the honest truth and it is this:

I had different expectations for my kids on this trip.

This would have been more enjoyable going by myself, instead I was mostly playing referee between two bored kids that just wanted to pick on each other, but I tried my best to soak it all up.

So here goes:

We started the tour with three local guides who filled us in on all things food and entertainment in Misawa and Hachinohe. They had a ton of recommendations for what the cities had to offer and I tried my best to write them all down on my phone. The list is long, y'all. We will not be bored here.

Before we headed to the International Center, the tour guide told us of local markets, eateries and fun places in town. Because of the Tanabata Festival just a week or so prior to the tour, there were a few streets that were familiar to me.

When we got to the International Center, the guides provided a 30 minute presentation giving history of Misawa, the surrounding areas and even practiced simple Japanese phrases with us. Very interesting and helpful!

We hopped back on the bus and headed to Hachinohe, a town about 30 minutes from Misawa where we would explore the Fish Market and eat lunch.

When we stepped off the bus, a kind tour helper offered to assist me and the kiddos around the market. He was so patient and helpful, but I have to admit I was a bit overwhelmed when we first walked in. It was busy and there was a lot to take in--sights, smells, noises and all while I was just trying to get my daughter set up in her stroller without losing my son.

Eventually we found our pace and started making our way through. The guide took to us like a gentle grandfather figure and even pushed the stroller for me. I think he could sense my anxiousness.

The first thing he wanted to do was show the kids the fish tank when entering the market. He then took us through the food and market portion where you are surrounded by all sorts of different vendors. We saw ice cream, churros, baked goods, produce and other foods. We picked a relatively popular dish to eat for lunch called yakitori--aka chicken on a stick. In its food container, the chicken laid on a bed of rice. While we were eating, the guide went and got the kids some mini churros! They loved them, of course.

Once we finished lunch, he led us through the open fish market. There were so many interesting things! We saw eel, octopus, even puffer fish! We didn't purchase any, but it's absolutely the place to go if you are looking for fresh seafood for dinner.

The kids were most intrigued with it as we walked through aisles of people and fish. Eventually, they began to feel restless and we went to the top level to let the kids play in the indoor playground while me and the guide talked more about the city of Hachinohe. He said he has lived there for 13 years and told me other places he recommends that I visit when we come back--one being a Korean BBQ place. Yes, please!

We gathered the kids up and explored a little bit longer before heading back to the shuttle bus.

As shown below, these types of arcade games are HUGE in Japan. Claw games are very popular and they had Kirby!

Our next and final stop before heading back was the Shinto Shrine. This was probably the cherry on top of the trip. It was beautiful! The kids were exhausted and played in the dirt while we were given a presentation, but had a good time walking around the shrine. We purchased a shrine stamp collection book known as a Goshuincho.

I let Teddy pick out the Goshuincho and he was very excited. I truly hope we will visit as many shrines as we can and collect the beautiful art. Maybe that can be something Teddy and I plan out while we are here.

In the photos you might notice there are white-lightning type shaped paper on different entry ways. These are referred to as "Shide" and represent holy spaces.

When we got back on the bus, we were exhausted. The day had been filled with so many cool things to do and see. The kids were mostly interested in their cotton candy and I did let them have a little bit on the bus.

On our way back to Misawa, the guides gave us more recommendations for local eateries and provided some tips and tricks for making the most of our time here.

Overall, it was a great way to learn more about what our local and adjacent towns had to offer. I'm looking forward to going back to Hachinohe to show Trevor around. Maybe even go back to the Fish Market and take our time there. Trevor was unable to join us as he was, and I quote, "meditating next to a waterfall." Whoa.

All that to say, if there's one thing I learned, it's good to explore with your kids. Even if it was a little frustrating and stressful at times, it was good for them to see where they live. It was good for us all to experience a culture apart from what we knew up to this point. I hope one day they will look back and appreciate the travel. Even if all they wanted to do was rub their legs in dirt, eat cotton candy and tell me they were bored. I bet they saw and enjoyed more than I think they did.

Kids keep you humble when you travel. There are times when I envy our young married friends that get to travel wherever and whenever they want. It must be really cool to experience Japan in that way.

But I know that it's also really cool to get to travel and see the world with your kids. They get an opportunity that not many kids do. I'm working on my patience. I'm working on expectation management. It's my first time doing this, too, so I absolutely learned from mistakes I made on the city tour to make next time a little easier to manage...hopefully.

Until then, I'm choosing to be grateful for this time. It truly is so cool that we get to be here!

[birdylion]

I wish I had friends who love listening to me idly making music. A lot of my friends, especially close ones, aren't very musically inclined, and in some cases are even completely amusical and can't distinguish pitch at all. Or they only like vocal music.

When I'm at home, I often pick up my cello or my recorder or sit down at the keyboard and just start improvising something. I love musical improvisation, I do it spontaneously and as self-expression. With music I can express things I can't put into words. And I wish there were more people who appreciate what I have to say that way. My parents are the only people who do that, and between the two of them, only my mother really gets it. With my friends, I often feel a bit lonely that way.

I wish there were more people here who actively delight in my random bursts of musical expression and let me know it.

Actually there are some more, I'm just not spending a lot of time with them. I had a flute with me when I went LARPing, and played for a bit in a calm moment, and my people there loved it.

But also, when I'm playing in front of others in a capacity that is not as a performer, not for the purpose of entertainment but simply because I feel like it, I'm terrified of being a burden, of being annoying. I've gotten that reaction before, many years ago, and I haven't been able to shake it off.

So what I actually wish is to be able to play freely in front of others without constantly gauging their reactions to see if they start showing signs of annoyance.

I wish I could trust that my casual audience won't resent me for playing, especially since that kind of music isn't for entertainment, but self-expression. So I'm wishing for someone who loves listening to me play. That would be a true relief.

[justplainwhump]

Society

A backstory piece on Blanca with her first owner, and a bit of a character study on Renee.

Mostly, however this is a gift for @caramelis dedicated to her great writing and her memorable characters; Emily, Clark (referenced) and Lilah (referenced) are hers. This is set in parallel to this fantastic piece.

Cory and Renee take Blanca to a party.

[Pet Safety masterlist]

[Lilah masterlist]

Content/warning: BBU, BBU Romantic, humiliation, heftily implied dubcon/noncon, implied claustrophobia, multiple whumpers, whumper pov.

Renee found her fiancé's socialising events not very enriching, to say the least. Cory was a lawyer, he was about to make it to partner in a highly specialised, highly prolific law firm. It was 'a man's world', as they liked to reassure each other; and with the growing popularity of WRU-designed whores as status symbols even before yachts and watches and the Porsche's parked along the mansion's driveway, the entertainment aspect of these gatherings had shifted to accommodate that. Partners were still welcome, but of course it were the pets that made the impression.

Her and Cory had even had a little fight about that earlier. His little whore looked fantastic, clothes more exquisite than even hers, higher prices for a lot less fabric, that if everything went well wouldn't even last the night. Renee had forbidden her the shoes though. Blanca - what a stupid name, really, a person could be called that, why not something like 'Kitty' or 'Pumpkin'?- Anyway, she wouldn't actually need shoes for her purpose. And Renee found it appropriate that both Cory and her could tower over her.

That hadn't been the reason for the fight. It was that Renee wanted to emphasise the whore's place. And to arrive in their new Porsche Boxster.

"She doesn't like narrow spaces," Cory had said, absently fondling Blanca's half covered ass. "We're taking the Cayenne."

Renee had seen the tension in the pet's shoulders, and felt a slow smile rise up on her lips. "I never thought pets had the capacity to like or not like anything," she remarked. "Isn't it true, Blanca? Wouldn't you just love to do whatever Cory wanted of you?"

The pet had even managed to produce a shaky smile. "I gladly fulfil all my owner's desires, Madam."

"Well he desires to please me, doesn't he, Cory?" Renee patted the hood of the Boxster's trunk. "And I want to ride this darling car. Get in the trunk."

Her gray eyes were huge, and they got even bigger, as they flicked between Cory and her.

Cory sighed. "You've heard her, Blanca. It's just fifteen minutes. Just close your eyes and breathe calmly."

"P... Please..." The pet had whispered, but Cory's gaze had been on Renee already, and then his lips had followed. "You're a fucking arrogant bitch, Renee," he mumbled into the kiss. "Let's hope for you she doesn't arrive there already ruined."

She'd made a point of kissing him over the trunk, while Blanca was in it. She'd have loved for him to fuck her there, too, just to show the pet underneath who was in charge, but he'd fought her off and checked his watch. "Let's not keep them waiting, love." He'd tossed her the key, knowing what she loved, and Renee had gotten them there in eleven minutes.

The pet, nonetheless, had looked horribly pale, when the valet got her out of the trunk, shaking and swaying on her bare feet.

"Give her something to calm her down," Cory said to the valet, carding a hand through the pet's damp hair, and she'd leaned into it, still full of devotion. He kissed the top of her head. "She's got duties to fulfil tonight."

-

She sure did, even though she wasn't the centre of attention. Some of the men withdrew to the other room, in their centre the petite, dark haired Romantic of some social newcomer whom Renee wasn't particularly familiar with, but who was obviously trumping Blanca in going to be the star of the night.

Renee wouldn't have particularly cared, hadn't it been for the very young woman sitting next to her, said newcomer's wife, it seemed. Emily. "So vulgar, isn't it?" Emily whispered, in an awkward way to initiate small talk. Renee could see Emily's gaze glued to the door to the other room, not entirely closed, in order to allow the Domestics waiting on this party to flurry in and out with drinks.

She wasn't sure what the other woman could see; but judging by the way her teeth tormented her lower lip, it... affected her.

Renee found herself smirking. "Certainly," she concurred. "But that doesn't mean us wives can't have any fun, either, does it?"

She was walking on thin ice here, but she had a hunch, and she'd follow it. That newcomer was interesting for Cory's business, his wife would sure be as well. And Renee had the strong feeling there was just the way to crack her.

A gestured command at one of the servers, and some moments later Blanca appeared at her side. Still pale underneath, but cheeks and skin flushed with exertion, dark red lipstick slightly smudged, hair a bit ruffled. The pet sank to her knees almost soundlessly, looking up at her from slightly glazed eyes. From up here, her breasts were enormous. All natural, Cory had said, with the pride of someone whose only contribution to that had been the money he paid to get her. There was a sheen on her cleavage and neck, milky and sticky, and Renee found a bit of satisfaction knowing that these breasts had at least been used as they should.

Shortly distracted from whatever happened next door Emily looked at them both with a polite raise of her eyebrow. She seemed wildly innocent for someone so voyeurestic. She probably just had to learn.

Renee leaned over and placed a hand over hers. "Here's to the fun us wives deserve as well, Emily." She raised her glass of wine, as Blanca vanished under the table soundlessly, swallowed by the long white tablecloth.

Emily raised her own glass, a polite crease between her brows, but too well mannered to admit she didn't understand.

Then, she flinched, gasped for a moment, hand clutching around Renee's as she stared at her from wide eyes.

"Lean back," Renee whispered. "Make yourself comfortable and..." she tilted her head towards the door. "Enjoy. Here's to you"

Emily seemed to be frozen on her seat, glass tipped to her lips, but not drinking.

Then her hips shifted on her seat, and Renee pictured a delicate pair of panties that her husband probably had never even seen slide down under the table.

Emily's lips parted, for a tiny sigh.

"Here's to me," she whispered, and then her eyes wandered to the door, free hand nestled around her hair delicately, and she didn't say anything for a long while.

She did smile all the time, though.

-

--

Pet safety backstory tag list: @gottawhump @labgrowndemon @pigeonwhumps @whumplr-reader

[edzephyr]

This is a post to fans, friends and colleagues alike. I am overjoyed that people appreciate my work. I’ve for years been trying to break through in an extremely difficult industry, and have been met with silence and setbacks, despite always being told I stood out, that I could ‘make it’, and holding to that faith others had/have in me. I developed ‘Kirk’, as a role, almost by accident - in response to becoming a fan of the original Trek and frustration at being pigeonholed in a certain appearance and character type, which is utterly unrecognisable in this guise. This was, and is, me breaking confinement. I’m also the sort of person who will aim to break barriers and do the impossible. Years ago a tutor had me play this very character in an improvised scene, and the performance (despite me being unfamiliar with the role) was met with attentive silence and the tutor saying to me "does your agent know you can do that? You can play that part". And, implicitly, a variety of other similar parts, that I knew were where my best expression resided. When the long hair went and I hit the gym, and I incidentally started to watch Star Trek, I realised the resemblance was also there and thought, well. Rather than sitting in my room waiting for the phone to ring, why not do something...maybe a little unconventional.

It was always more than a cosplay; it was, deep down, proving, despite the lack of opportunity, that I could do something, in terms of performance, that is really very challenging; that many actors couldn’t do. To portray one of the most iconic characters of all time, in a way that some have said, is untouchable and impossible. OK - so I will perform the parody, the comedy for entertainment – Shatner himself does that! He (and I) lean into both; we’re performers, entertainers. And as many of you will know, what I do, underneath, isn’t based in parody, or imitation. This month, all going to plan, we will be releasing a short film/‘test’ footage in which I portray Kirk, in some way similar to how I would if I were employed to do the job, and it should demonstrate, that this does indeed, work. That it would be terrific to see. It will also hopefully serve, to the eyes of the keepers of the gates to success, as a demonstration of capability. It may not get me THE role (as I cannot mitigate all factors in play), but it may show to someone my qualities and fibre as an actor, for any given role - and I hope that someone gives me that chance.

In the meantime, I have of course taken myself as Kirk out everywhere I can. As much as this could read as a descent into madness, it has made me feel that somehow, I am in fact doing my job. I am doing what any performer hopes to do. To move, to entertain, to extend a positive and thoughtful influence on this chequered world. And it’s a role I’m very good in. Kirk’s optimism I empathize with; he is, if I do say so myself, not a bad fit to what I bring to the table as a persona and actor – and likewise, I have his shadows, so it’s not always easy. Kirk, however, doesn’t tend to give up; he would also be breaking the rules and trying to prove a point. And so, it has kept me going.

I do receive suggestions to attend more events – and thank you for making me aware of them. Beyond a few local and small ones, due to limited funds, I can only generally go further afield and/or attend the bigger cons in a professional capacity / when supported to attend. My primary work is as an actor/performer, and while I'd love not to need financing to provide the entertainment I do, and to go to lots more events and bring people joy, we don't yet live in a Trek post-scarcity society where basic needs are met and most people are able put their energy into what they do best without needing any return. It's a catch 22 as nothing else is funding my entertainment but my entertainment, and the core of the industry I work in is still playing hard to get. You might say it's another broken system, where talented people aren't given opportunity to work, opportunity that is often based on a number of random and esoteric factors that are very difficult to bring to bear. I and others have to waste beautiful moments to perform, that can be as enriching to others as personally fulfilling to the artist, in either finding other ways to survive, or not being able to afford to finance it otherwise. I guarantee, some of you will have enjoyed seeing my work or performance at some event or another that I wouldn't have made it to without support. We will never know the positive impact, for example, I could have had at an event I didn't appear at, as I had no professional capacity in which to attend and couldn’t afford it otherwise. It's heartbreaking to me that, for example, I'm thinking about another weekend and at least two events I could go to but can't; worrying about even the next tube fare as I had another month with barely any income; and grieving in advance the lost opportunities to be out and reaching people. The last thing I also want is to be stuck inside my London brick cell, for a variety of reasons. I suppose the whole situation I find myself in, away from the glamour of events and cons etc, feels like a point of shame. But I know people like what I do, and have been supportive, when they’ve known how to help; and always understood. Even Shatner, post Star Trek, was living in a caravan, despite having literally just played Kirk! Frankly, I’d love a motorhome (actually, it’s a mad dream to live in a converted bus and call it the ‘Starbus Enterprise’ but I digress...)

In general, be it for events, or in film/tv, or on stage; we all know, something enjoyed, wanted and valued needs support. I am very grateful for the support given to me by my friends and colleagues. The physical, moral and professional – I would ask that you continue to lend that support – and I’ll be there, being able to do more wonderful stuff for you all to enjoy.

LLAP 🖖 Ed

[prettyflyshyguy]

We do a little live posting. You know the drill.

Abridged and way more rough and tumble for anyone following along at home, cause I'm skipping scenes and ignoring all the Heaven sub (sorry. I can't watch it. I want to see my awful boys be awful without Heaven related activity)

We're kicking off this speedrun sesh with S5E2 - Good God, Y'all!

I am REELING AND LAMENTING that Sam's demon blood arc ended the way it did.

ESPECIALLY WHEN WE GET SCENES LIKE THIS - this man wants to lick this shit so fucking bad to see if he can tell if its Demon blood or if he just shanked two normal humans

and now he's GASLIGHT, GATEKEEP, GIRLBOSSING Dean lmfaooo

Oh my god I love seeing Sam just flip spots with Dean this is the best oh my god its so good - this is a great and fun way to play with these two archetypes and I'm living for it but at the same time I just know it's gonna frustrate me more then it will entertain me in the long run.

OK ANON WAS RIGHT IT WAS WORTH IT JUST FOR THIS

ok it was worth it just for this scene this is GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT

aaaaaaaaaaaand it lasted about 0.5 seconds nice. I'm fine. I'm fine about this. I'm not mad. I'm not mad that like one 15th of this episode scratched a very specific itch and the rest was "eh"

I also love that the worlds most fucked up co-dependent "only family I have left" brothers just shake hands and go "yeah guess we should just fucking separate from one an other! Bye!" at the end of episode 2 of season 5 LMFAO bye Sam see you next time

AAAAAAAND WE'RE SKIPPING STRAIGHT TO S5E5 - Fallen Idols

Based off anons recommendations, hilariously, is when Sam returns.

Bye Sam, hi Sam!

Anyway this episode has been fun because A) the boys are shit flinging again and B) Dean thought a car was going to crush him

I also love that they're setting things on fire in a wax museum and there are no automatic sprinklers

PARIS HILTON????

Damn Sam fans are having it good this season huh

AS I SAID: SAM FANS ARE HAVING IT GOOD THIS SEASON

Ok Ya girl got frustrated and I don't think I have the mental capacity to handle more comedy episodes (despite some of the S5 ones looking fun. I need grit. I need pain. I need nasty.)

I'm regrettably dumpster diving into S6.......

Oh dear.

I fucking lied I'm reading the episode synopsises and none of them grip me untill Lisa was mentioned fucking F in the chat

anyway I think I'm gonna stop here.

Cannot believe Dean went back to Lisa and Ben's house and he didnt fucking tell either of them "Sorry I hurt you both its cause I was a vampire for a day"

un fucking believable

I mean I'd take it if either actually brought up the fact he shoved them both

But at least Ben chewed him the fuck out.

anyway I'm not emotional about this YOU'RE emotional about this

[annislittleshopofhorrors]

I’m sorry for how long this is, I’m usually a lurker so have held it in. It may be spiteful, but I really feel like he deserves a question about her. He went public with that horrible pap walk we all endured, he publicly acknowledged his deep love of scaring her and then publicly threw her in our faces with a montage on Valentines Day without even writing Happy Valentines Day on the post. Even if he didn’t personally handle the crap being put on his social media, he knew it was going on there. I don’t care if it’s real or PR or if they had something on him and conned him into doing this. If he wasn’t acting a fool, they wouldn’t have something on him in the first place. If this is indeed PR, he signed up for it or did something stupid like IG Tinder and got caught being a gross old (I’m a few years older than him so I can say that) man after young booty. Whatever the case, he is doing this to himself. He knows the distaste or he wouldn’t have been so timid on Friday at the convention. Personal opinion, he would have backed out, but his team pressured him to try to make any amends with his fans that he could. They know what is being said about him and how many fans turned away. The fact that he let the trio bait and taunt his fans, and continued to entertain them, in whatever capacity it did, that says enough for me. I don’t care if it is how CAA works. I’m a Seb girl, I lived thru what CAA has done for his image, and I want Pre-CAA Seb back. They are doing the same with Chris. Whether it is real or PR, I feel like they have used it for PR if it’s real and it has made him look nasty and conceited and truly needing help. His fans that have always defended him to rumors, he spit in their faces by still allowing the baits before awkwardly walking thru Central Park the day after SMA dropped. That was when he showed his true colors to me. He said, ‘thanks for defending me but let me show you what I really think.” No, he owes me nothing. I chose to be a fan and he is a grown man and loves his own life and makes his own choices. But I will never defend his actions again and that’s my choice. I don’t see him in the same way, and that’s my choice because of my likes and dislikes and morals. I can choose whether or not to spend my money on his work or meet and greets because it’s my choice. He is a public figure though and he chose that. He chose to call the paps and to post the two montages and that’s his choice (kind of). Celebrities post what they want you to see and usually are only photographed when they want to be seen for a reason. So, yeah, I choose to see this whole thing like Chris spitting in his fans faces repeatedly after seeing this trio called out for their actions and still being in their circle. So, I hope they ask about his very public, in love, relationship with his 25 year old love who makes a living portraying children while she hangs with her racist, nazi loving, fatphobic Neanderthal friends. Ask him the question. How is your love, ALBA freaking Baptista?

Sorry, it took me a while to read it. Most of the time I have something to say, but this time I just can't because you just expressed your feelings about him. So I won't argue or agree or disagree with you. This is a safe space, so I hear you and I understand how you feel. 😊