#and my current series contains so much family drama

[the-bi-space-ace]

not to be a downer but I am suuuuuuper worried that because Hunter is going through it and is pissed he's going to say something to Echo blaming him for what happened to Tech.

I am not prepared for that kind of pain.

[alteon77]

Updated Masterlist of Writing and Art

About the writer/artist: I like to write and paint. My current obsession is Sandman, but I enjoy most fantasy fandoms as well as anime (I think I’m on season seven billion of One Piece right now 🤣). I'm also weird as they come (and awkward, too), so just please ignore my oddball (coughTERRIBLEcough) sense of humor.

On a more personal note, I have PTSD and suffer from severe manic depressive episodes. Writing and art are my most familiar coping mechanisms, and I need them like I need oxygen. Seriously, there were times in my life that knowing I had to finish a story or a piece of art was the only thing stopping me from ending up dead. So, I don't take part in fandom drama. Having my peace and protecting my mental health are very big deals to me, and I won't risk those for anything if I can help it.

As for my writing, it ranges from short one-shots to ridiculously long novel series. I use third person POV (on longer series) as well as second person (on shorter things). I also try to always exclude physical descriptions when writing main character OCs and assign them nicknames to avoid using Y/N. I love to read Y/N fics, but writing them makes me feel like I'm at work. And who actually wants to ever feel like they're at work when they're engaging in a hobby? Definitely not me.

Lastly, there's usually more stuff on my AO3 page than I have listed here, because I forget to post it pretty often. Oops. I'll get around to moving it all over one day. Probably. Maybe.

Feel free to leave an ask if you want or just drop by my DMs. <3

Artwork links are at the bottom of this list, so if you're here for those, that's where they are.

Sandman 'Verse

All the Precious and Fragile Things (so easily do they break)

After banishing his lover from the Dreaming for her betrayal, Morpheus learns that she is pregnant with his child.

And that she’s been captured by a revenge-seeking Alexander Burgess.

What the both of them are unaware of is that this will set in motion a cascade of unfavorable events, causing a chain reaction that threatens the whole of existence itself.

PART I: All of This Past

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

PART II: These Tender, Loving Mercies

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

PART III: When It All Falls Down

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

PART IV: The Dark of War

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Epilogue

Sometimes He's Sweet

Morpheus hates the holidays.

As excited as she seems to experience the mortal holiday, he's… less so. Much less so. With the entire collective unconscious contained within him, this time of year can be wholly overwhelming, a miasma of too much red and green, too much worry, too much loneliness, too much excitement, too many similarly themed dreams, too many similarly themed nightmares, and far far too many holiday songs. It all bleeds out from the collective unconscious into his own mind, sticks there like weeping sap to a tree until he feels half-mad with the unrelenting presence of it, with his inability to get free from its cloying trespass upon his very being.

This is just a little sweet fluff for the holiday season. It takes place between chapters 19 and 20 of "All the Precious and Fragile Things". No spoilers here if you've read that far!

The Dog Debacle (or how best to sneak a dragon into the dreaming)

Morpheus' daughter gets a new dog.

Well..... kind of.

That Familiar Feeling of Family (or how Hob Gadling ended up as an uncle to his stranger's oftentimes feral children)

It's a pretty universally known thing that families are just strange. As Hob is quickly figuring out, however, this little fact is magnified by AT LEAST a billion when the family in question is Endless.

(A lighthearted story in which Hob Gadling finds out his stranger has married, makes friends with a homicidal maniac/ruler, and manages to become an exemplary uncle to a pack of magically mischievous children. Really, now all he has to do is convince everyone to stop calling his and Dream's weekly meetups "playdates", and then his life would be practically perfect.)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The Maker, the Muse, and the Sundered Song

In his temple, what remains of Orpheus waits in trepidation. Something is changing. Something that he knows might alter the very fabric of the world as he understands it.

Finally freed from captivity, Calliope struggles to make any meaningful changes to the laws that saw her bound and taken in the first place. When the strange woman appears on Mount Parnassus and offers help, Calliope knows she would be a fool not to accept it. Even if she thinks that she's being lied to.

Meanwhile in the peace of the Dreaming, Morpheus grapples with guilt over his son's fate. As he basks in the love of his new children, he can't help but to regret his own failings where Orpheus is concerned.

And as for May, she's really just got a job to do. And her own traumatic issues to deal with. And if it's all hella awkward because she's having to work alongside her husband's ex-wife, she'll see it done anyway. There's even the small possibility that she might eventually admit to Calliope the truth about her identity. That is if she can ever actually work up the courage to say it aloud.

Chapter 1

Nothing in This Closet but Boots and a Boy

Morpheus is wildly protective of his daughter.

That's probably bad for the boy in said daughter's closet.

AU's and Other Stuff in the Sandman 'Verse

Of Exes, Hellhounds, and Waffle Fries

Morpheus shows up to rescue the woman he probably loves (though he won't admit it) from hellhounds and ends up getting roped into helping with her family. This is one of those extras that doesn't fit into the main story, but it's fun, so I'm posting it.

The Bizarre Breeding Habits of Anthropomorphic Personifications

It's a tale as old as time.

Two idiots fall in love. Two idiots fall out of love.

Neither one of them is expecting a baby to come along and derail their unhappily ever after.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Original Fanart

I like to play around with different styles and to try new things with my artwork. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I'm still learning, and I am so far from being a professional that it's laughable. But I only post things that I think look decent or that I think others might enjoy.

The Lover's Argument (Morpheus x oc)

Oneiros (Morpheus in Grecian garb)

Because I could not stop for Death, she kindly stopped for me... (Regency era Dream and Death)

[widowshill]

How do you think Dark Shadows would differ if made today? Would it still be the cult classic or is that kind of writing lost to us?

with the disclaimers that I don't think you can set out to make a cult classic, and also I only know as much about the entertainment industry as the next person, and also I don't really think the writing in Dark Shadows is that good, I do think it's an interesting question! I'll do my best.

To start: for me, the lion's share of the show's enduring appeal is in its earnestness, and part of that is the palpable shoestring budget. things like flubbed lines, camera man and mic shadows in the shot, and other genuine mistakes are part of what you watch the show for, they do not detract but add to the experience. this contributes a similar sense of watching live theatre (paired with most of the core cast being new york theatrically trained and bringing that acting style with them) because you know you're seeing something usually done in one take, where the mistakes bleed through, where who the actors are as people is alongside them on the stage. they flub, and recover, and this is part of the story: so too do the Collinses make vast mistakes, and go on. it is an imperfect world riddled with faults.

This is not something you're going to get in the current media landscape from one of the big networks like ABC; I find it almost impossible to imagine a daytime show being produced with the kind of natural errors Dark Shadows contains. To capture that same kind of poor theatre troup earnestness you would have better success as either a) actual serial theatre, b) a webseries / tiktok series / etc, c) a low-budget independent or college tv station, or d) a miniseries, possibly. If a major network took it on and purposefully put those mistakes in, it would not feel the same. I'm a bit bored of the constant insincerity/irony in a lot of 2020's media, and I think it would rapidly veer into that genre of work.

As far as being a daytime serial, specifically, I don't think the current media environment is exactly right: part of the reason they aired a gothic horror soap opera to begin with is it was part of the broader cultural conversation, next to television like Bewitched, The Addams Family, I Dream of Jeanie, The Munsters, The Twilight Zone, etc. American entertainment in the late 60's had a love affair with the occult (with witches, monsters, ghosts, the works) and this permeated broad aspects of arts and culture: The Haunted Mansion opened at Disneyland in 1969, Monster Mash was number 1 on the Billboard chart in 1962 (and #91 in '70, and #10 in '73). Pair that with prominent artists like John Zacherle's discography, Vincent Price's film credits, 70's gothic horror comedies like The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Phantom of the Paradise, and of course the wild popularity of gothic romance paperbacks in the 60's and 70's. This isn't everything, of course, but just to broad-strokes the landscape.

It's not that we don't have supernatural media today — horror is one of the highest performing movie genres, and there are shows like Ghosts and WWDITS, and Watcher Entertainment — but it's not quite the same explosion of culture (in my opinion). Making a gothic romance-horror-vampire serial would be more at home in the 2010's among the love affair with Twilight, True Blood, The Originals, the dominance of horror game Youtube, the height of Supernatural, Crimson Peak, What We Do In the Shadows 2014, etc. One imagines this is why the 2012 film adaption came out when it did; the cultural moment was conducive, overall. Most nighttime network television today (and I am generalizing) is dominated by legal, medical, and police drama; current soap-operas (especially General Hospital) reflect that, and there are only three soaps getting aired, period. Nothing is impossible: but a soap in the Dark Shadows vein (ha) getting green-lit today seems unlikely, vastly unlikely with the ebb in vampire fervor.

What I will say that works better in today's production moment for a potential series revival (revision?) is we're starting to see an embrace of practical set building / prop making / etc that was lost to us for a little while, especially among the horror genre. For example: Blumhouse's FNAF utilizing the Jim Henson creature shop, the beautiful set work on Haunted Mansion 2023, the use of practical effects in Beetlejuice 2. This is something that to me feels integral, for making Dark Shadows. You may disagree! But I don't think the heavy dependence on CGI did 2012 any favors. The magic inherent in the show (curses, ghosts, whatever you want to call it) is supported by movie magic and the invisible (or sometimes visible) artisanal hands crafting the world for us.

Moreover, with Bridgerton, especially (but also Emma, Little Women, The Gilded Age, The Great, etc) there's been a bit of a renaissance of lush period pieces. The current fascination with historical romances (and anachronism!) lends itself very well to a dive into 1795 or 1897. My best guess is that if we produced a revival right now, there'd be a very heavy focus on one of the alternate time periods (probably 1795), and they would lean on anachronism (and sex) very heavily, and the present year would be a very very minor presence, if they bothered with it at all – and maybe they wouldn't!

As for the writing, specifically? There's nothing that extraordinary about Dark Shadows' writing, to me, what is extraordinary is the characters and the actors' management of them (and Lela's direction) and what they are able to do with the script (aside from a few standout moments of memorable lines). There are brilliant television writers out there who could write a lovely gothic adaption. Some of our priorities in terms of storytelling are different: one thing you would have to acknowledge that the original show rarely dealt with and never performed well on is race. However a lot of the dominant concerns in the cultural landscape do reflect the issues at the forefront of the themes in the writing: especially women's bodily autonomy (Barnabas' hypnotism and forcing Josette's identity onto the nearest brunette/the inherent violation of biting and enthrallment, the way his victims are 90% of the time poor women, or sex workers, or the criminalized and otherwise vulnerable); women's economic position (Liz running the house and business, Victoria and Maggie's subject to endless horrors for a wage, Carolyn free to kick getting married down the road because she's economically secure) and the rigid dominance of the hetero-nuclear family structure as it is entwined with economics in America, and its subversions; and, especially, the way that the American houses (architectural, economic, genealogical) are built on the exploitation of those beneath them, often demanding the physical sacrifice of bodies and blood.

If I had my choice — and this is not what I think is probable, what is probable is a lean into the literal vampires and witches and sex associated in a modern-day setting — a current version of Dark Shadows would lean heavily into those themes, and take the reflection of the literal monsters (Barnabas, Angelique, Quentin, Laura, etc.) on the metaphorical monsters (Elizabeth, Roger, Burke, David, etc.) seriously. Preferably I'd want it set in the 1960's-70's again, because, like Collinsport, we seem to repeat the same sins over and over again, currently we are engaged with and reversing much of the progress that was made by social movements of that era, so in some senses we are returned to that time, culturally. Preferably I would emphasize the mystery? the permeation between the boundary of human and monstrosity? that dominated the early supernatural arcs with Laura and the beginning of Barnabas; and emphasize the terror, especially the terror of violence contained within the charming, and genteel, and refined, and beautiful. Above all I would not begin any first episode of anything with Barnabas, who should be first and foremost a reflection on the family so ready to accept him as like kind.

cult classic? I don't know. I think there's an appetite for earnestness; for long-form storytelling; for the quotidian — to learn about characters as they eat breakfast and bicker, as well as fight monsters. and theatre-trained enunciation that you can hear. I would hope, with sufficient intimacy training, the kissing and sex scenes would be a little better and not make me so very miserable.

[theliterarywolf]

Hey look, I get it, it's frustrating to see all that drama about the MLP debacle revolving around porn. You're tired of it, lord knows you're right to feel that way

But dude, me and you are nearly the same age so I'm pretty sure you remember way back when on YouTube how stupid easy it was for kids to stumble upon those gory shock cartoons of the ponies

Like the one literally drawn exactly in the shows style? With Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash dancing?? To this day that video is still not age restricted

The derpy hooves one where her head is smashed with an anvil???

Or hotdiggydemons .mov series where he intentionally drew it to look bright, colorful and eye catching?

You couldn't even google their stupid fucking names without seeing gross fetish porn of the technicolor horses and half the shit is still visible even with safe search on!

I get what you're saying that some of those kids should've been monitored better, but at the end of the day, most of the fandom comprised of grown ass adult men who should've done better at hiding that awful shit

for Christ's sake the fandoms of Steven Universe and Undertale had a tagging system for their adult works!

See, on the one hand I would agree with you...

But, as per my personal experience? Way back when in the brony days, I had to go out of my way to find the particularly heinous shite. I had to go out of my way to figure out why everyone kept recoiling from the term 'Chrysalis.SWF'

The first time I saw the Derpy Hooves anvil thing was in a Saberspark video.

I didn't even really find out about things like the infamous Rainbow Dash jar or the Lyra plushie until years later after they had broken containment and had a bunch of reaction channels talking about them to say 'bronies are gross and cringe, lol'

(Which, I'm not going to lie, both of those instances were pretty damn gross and cringe)

You couldn't even google their stupid fucking names without seeing gross fetish porn of the technicolor horses and half the shit is still visible even with safe search on!

That's EVERY FANDOM, THOUGH! Have you tried looking up Lucy Loud? Gardevoir? Any of the core Super Mario cast (which, with the advent of the movie, Lord help any kid whose parents just hand them a phone to shut them up) Hermione Granger?

Hell, for all that they were 'controversial', I never saw actual pages/art for 'Ask Molestia' and 'Lil Miss Rarity' until I joined tumblr.

And the Brony Fandom at least had Safe Search Wrap-Up, so there was a conscientious effort to keep NSFW content away from lax filters and vulnerable minors.

But do you know why for as much fucked up content was going around, not just for MLP but for other kid-friendly IP fandoms too, I only found out about the bulk of it later or after digging for it?

Because I was raised with basic internet safety. Don't go clicking on every video/picture just because they look like something you're familiar with.

I agree that, even in the current year, that appropriate tagging is a problem. However, the other glaring maw in the situation is people thinking that the internet is people acting like they can just treat it like a family fun-zone when, really, it isn't. And that includes some of what you would think are the most mundane things: like kid-friendly IPs or vague everyday items.

...Seriously, I am this close to just nuking 'Food' from my trending tab list because every time I scroll down to it on Twitter, it's filled with a dozen D-tier E-Thots shoving their tits into the camera or bending over 90 degrees, going 'Can I be your lunch, uwu~?'

[smoll-tangerine]

ten reasons why i hate you: reason #3

SYNOPSIS. while you admittedly didn’t refuse the arranged marriage between you and jung jaehyun, that didn’t mean that you’d allow him to treat you like a doormat. for the emotional distress he had put you through during the months leading up to your engagement party, you ensure that he will pay for the way he had been treating you for the rest of his life. 

PAIRING. rich boy!jaehyun x rich girl!reader GENRES. angst, drama, rich kid!au CHAPTER WORD COUNT. 1452 

WARNINGS. none. 

DISCLAIMER. this is a work of fiction based on fictional events and characters. it is unrelated to any real people, organisations, locations, and events. the laws, and legal and medical interpretations in this work have also been modified for storytelling purposes.

TAGLIST. @crescent-iak​ @ahtisa02​ @ghostfacefricker6969​

[a/n]: lowkey surprised by the number of people actually interested in reading a series that contain no romance fksjfksjfksjf i guess everyone got a petty side to them too haha. send me an ask if you want to be part of the taglist and enjoy this chapter! 

← REASON #2 || MASTERLIST || REASON #4 → 

REASON #3

You supposed this was Jaehyun’s way of getting back at you for what you pulled with his parents. 

But out of all days he could do this to you, he decided to do it on a day your families had asked you two to spend time together so that the paparazzi could take pictures, who happened to have lunch at the very restaurant on the 30th floor of the hotel you were currently residing in.

You tried not to roll your eyes at the way Jaehyun was smirking at you, almost as if he was proud of his little plan. Sure, that was annoying of him. Not to mention he found a little loophole in your prenup—there was nothing that said that the cheating scandals should only be avoided before the marriage.

You took a sip from your cup of tea as you subtly glanced over at Chaeyoung and the numerous paper bags that laid next to her, all of them from high-end luxury stores. You then looked at the said girl. You didn’t hate her, but rather pitied her instead. Here she was, being with a guy who was never going to be legally single because of your plans of making him suffer.

You didn’t know whether you admired her or found her foolish. You avoided all interactions with her as you actually felt awkward towards her. As if having lunch wasn’t awkward enough, Chaeyoung was having lunch with the woman who was marrying her boyfriend and that happened to be you.

“Lunch is on you, right?” Jaehyun said with a raised brow. “Since you’re the one who invited us out.”

You snorted into your cup. “Your mother was the one who forced us into doing this, actually. I wouldn’t mind paying for now, but should I bill it to your place after? Your mother wouldn’t want to know that her son forced a lady to pay for lunch, wouldn’t you? Especially not when that lady is her future daughter-in-law.”

“You’re despicable.”

You scoffed. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

“I can pay for myself.”

Both of your heads turned to Chaeyoung who spoke up for perhaps the first time during this whole lunch. Then again, all three of you barely interacted. You nodded once and waved the waiter over. The waiter brought over each of your checks. Jaehyun handed over his black card without even taking a glance at how much he had to pay, but you noticed that Chaeyoung’s eyes shifted in panic.

“Just charge everything to my room,” you said to the waiter before getting up from your seated and headed over to the elevator. Your phone vibrated with an incoming message from Yuta saying that he will arrive in the next five minutes or so.

“I didn’t ask you to pay for us,” Jaehyun angrily told you as he followed you to the elevator, Chaeyoung close behind. “We could have easily paid for ourselves—are you looking down on me now that I’ve signed your stupid prenup? You think that my family is desperate for more money?”

God, could Yuta come any faster?

“Jesus Christ, you wanted me to pay and now you’re complaining about the fact that I paid for everyone?” You rolled your eyes and entered the elevator before pressing the button for the main lobby. “Pick a damn struggle already.”

You couldn’t believe you took the time out of your busy schedule to entertain him. You enjoyed these small breaks in your schedule as you usually spent most of your days inside an operation room, but now you were slowly starting to regret asking for a day off.

You immediately stormed off to the exit, hoping that Yuta kept his word and that he was already waiting for you in front of the hotel. But of course by the time you got out, Yuta nor his car were nowhere in sight. 

Some friend he was.

“I hope I won’t get to see you again for the rest of the week,” Jaehyun said to you. “Seeing you once a week is more than enough.” 

You flipped him off without even sparing him a glance as he walked away to get his car. You weren’t sure if it was because he wanted to avoid you or he truly didn’t ask for valet parking, but regardless, you were grateful that you didn’t have to spend any more of your time with him. Truthfully, you had no idea how you even came to like Jaehyun, considering how nasty his personality was.

“You know, Jaehyun’s actually a very nice person,” Chaeyoung said from your side as you two waited for your respective rides on the hotel’s curbside. “But it seems like you bring out the worst in him.”

You raised a brow at the slight condescending tone behind her voice, but kept your eyes firmly on your phone as you didn’t want to give away your true reaction. While you didn’t appreciate her tone, you kept reminding yourself that it wasn’t Chaeyoung’s fault that she was in this position.

“Yes...” you replied coolly. “It seems that he brings the worst in me, too.”

A pregnant silence ensued before it was broken by Chaeyoung.

“You know, I could have paid for my lunch myself.”

Your brows furrowed. “I don’t think I’ve ever questioned your ability to pay for your lunch.”

“And whatever you pulled last time, at my workplace,” she continued, ignoring your words. “That wasn’t very nice of you.”

Your patience was wearing thin. While, admittedly, the way you treated her was certainly not befitting of you, you also couldn’t stand the way she spoke to you, as if she was better than you. Here, you were feeling just an ounce of pity for that girl—you were even considering, perhaps, befriending her. But her holier-than-thou attitude she was sporting was getting on your last nerve.

“Well, the tone you’re using right now to speak to me isn’t very nice either,” you replied snarkily. “So, I guess we’re even.”

“No, we’re not.”

Oh? This was slowly getting interesting. But you still mentally begged for Yuta to arrive faster.

“We’re not the same,” Chaeyoung added.

You huffed through your nose. “Of course we’re not.”

“I’ve worked my way up and wasn’t born with a diamond spoon in my mouth like you.”

While you agreed that you were certainly born with a privilege, you didn’t like that she insinuated the fact that you didn’t work hard for your job and position. 

How many times in a row had she insulted you now? 

Since you’d lost count, you thought to yourself that you held yourself back enough for her sake.

“It’s pathetic of you to lock Jaehyun down like that with an arranged marriage,” Chaeyoung continued. “You- you could have any man you want, so why choose someone who is already taken?” 

You crossed your arms as you ponder her question. You didn’t understand why she was so intent on painting you as the villain of the story. The only possible and logical explanation was that Jaehyun must have not given her all the story’s details. You refrained yourself from laughing out loud at the realization—what else was Jaehyun hiding from his girlfriend? 

Right on time, Yuta’s shiny black Aston Martin Victor came in sight and you evidently sighed in relief, glad to be rid of this situation. 

“I believe you just answered your own question,” you replied to her with a small smirk just as Jaehyun’s silver McLaren Speedtail arrived right behind Yuta. “Why, exactly, do I want to marry Jaehyun when I can have any man I want, as you said? But, I think you should ask yourself, why Jaehyun would even want to marry another woman when he has a girlfriend?”

“T-that’s because you like him!” she exploded. “You forced him into agreeing to the arranged marriage.” 

You tsk-ed and shook your head, before opening the door to Yuta’s passenger seat. “Don’t you know that it takes two to tango?” 

You immediately shut the door, not allowing Chaeyoung to retort. You believed that you let her speak too much, and the whole conversation you just had with her gave you a massive headache. Yuta snorted at how you were rubbing your temples, but chose to ignore the elephant in the room (which was the lunch date you had with Jaehyun and Chaeyoung). 

“So, when are you going to move out from the hotel and move back in again with your family?” he asked, instead. 

“Why?” you mumbled. “You don’t want me in your hotel anymore?” 

“You know that’s not why.” 

You shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Not anytime soon,” you answered. “I still haven’t punished them enough for this arranged marriage.” 

← REASON #2 || MASTERLIST || REASON #4 → 

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently watching - October

Because I love a good little list 😊

Regularly updated during the month - colored = finished

This may contain spoilers!

Currently airing

Choco Milk Shake (2/10)

🥰🥰🥰🥰 This is so good! I love it! I enjoyed every little second of this first episode. I hope it will go on like that. The story about Choco and Milk, a cat and a dog becoming human and live with their former owner. The acting is really good! I can see the dog and the cat in them 😅 So far perfect casting!

Love in the air (11/13)

I like how much Phayu cares about Rain. I definitely have my problems with some of the things that happend and I guess there are going to be things I don't like in the upcoming episodes, but overall I enjoy it. And yes I had a very big issue with the 8th and 9th episode...what the fuck? That is all I am gonna say.

Kabe-Koji-Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized (4/8)

It is so well shot and edited. I was just blown away by the art. The story…Well we are in episode one, but I guess it will be interesting. I am interested. The story of two people who meet again after years, one an artist and the other an idol. And I really want to know what happened that their paths drifted away like that and of course if and how their paths come together again 😊

Eien no Kino (2/8)

I am curious in what direction this will go, but I did enjoy the first episode. I like the aesthetics of the show. The way scenes were shot and the coloring. Really pretty!

Ghost Host, Ghost House (4/8)

This one is a funny one, well for now. I love the family 😅 The two mains have so much chemistry! The plot is intersting, Kevin and Pluem are soft and tender and passionate and so in love and yet there are some secrets and wounds which need to heal. And I am here for the ride. This show is so good!

War of Y (10/20)

I finally watched the next chapter...And yeah, I think I can't watch the stories week for week. I need to wait until one chapter is closed and binge the five episodes. This is one of the few bls I watch with a lot of tension in my body and no smile on my lips...I need to calm a bit before I can dive into the next drama...

Big Dragon (3/8)

I would say a promising start. Kind of a dub con situation on both sides? The main characters are both not really sympathetic😅 I like the bodyguards, if you can call them that. And I indeed like the chemistry between the mains.

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (6/8)

This one I like...Perhaps it is the enemies working and forced living together thing for me. I enjoy those storylines way too much! Overall it's funny and I enjoy their dynamic and acting so much more than in Kissable Lips.

My Tooth Your Love (4/12)

I guess this could be called a nightmare for people with a dental phobia. But it looks so messy and lovable and I am totally in for it! I enjoyed the acting and the sister is so bossy, but in a good way 😀 Never thought I would like a series about a dentist this much! But I do!

My only 12 % (12/14)

Okay, I can see why people like it. It is growing on me a lot with more episodes in. And now I can't watch any further because I want to know how this ends and I can't watch those two hurting. But I am still not fond of the amount of times the name "Cake" is said...This is really unpleasant for my ears 🙉

Fahlanruk (7/12)

This series is a mess! Fah is a dominant prick who tries to get his man by forcing him to everything (besides sex)! The dialogues are crap, the acting is sometimes really not that good, the chemistry…I don’t know. At this point I don’t know what story the series wants to tell us. You can’t be friends with benefits? If you are persistent enough your love/fuck interest will give in to you? What is it? But I have the time of my life watching this mess and with episode 5 it has happend...I am invested 😒

Ai Long Nhai (5/12)

Ai likes Nhai. Nhai kind of likes Ai. To test if their relationship could have a future they decide to test-date for a month and show all their habits, good and bad, in front of each other. That is what I got from the subtitles 😂 They are a mess 😅 So funny and yet so frustrating, because sometimes you just don’t get what they are saying at all 😂

To Sir, with love (2/28)

The first episodes are on youtube with english subs! First episode told us about their history and of their family. I really can't stand the secondary wife and her maid. Hateful bitches! But I like Bua. She would have been a great mother and in a way she is more of a mother to the children than their mums.

Self (3/6)

I have my problems with mirrors, so this one was kind of creepy for me, but I am intrigued how this is going on and if there are more episodes than two!

Remember Me (3/12)

Okay what happend? I am emotional invested in this story! Why did it become so good within two episodes? I love the domesticity and the wholesomeness of the third episode so much! It touched me and moved me and now I am looking forward to the next episode!

2 Moons: The Ambassador (3/12)

This might be the first series I will drop. And I watched Check Out...But the subtitles are a mess, the acting is cringy and the story is boring...okay, I am on ep 2, so perhaps there is some good plot coming, but right now I can't see it.

Already broadcasted series

Fish upon the sky (2/12)

I don't know how to feel about this. I don't like Pi that much, but the series managed to make me cry with their first episode. Of course I want to see where this jorney is taking me. I catch myself weirdly grinning from ear to ear and that is a good sign most of the times 😅

Mama Gogo (2/10)

There are too many series on the side to satisfy my need for second-hand embarrassment that I’ve neglected Mama Gogo a bit. There are sexy dancing men…so I will definitely keep watching, really!

Finished in October

Series

180 degree longitude passes through us (8/8 on Gaga) - very highly recommended

Damn, THIS WAS SO GOOD. The cinematography, the acting, the relationships, the tension. I am blown away! Every episode delivered. Definitely one of the best series I have watched, like ever! If you like sophisticated stuff, please give this a try. 10 out of 10 longing looks

Once Again (8/8 on Viki and Gaga) - highly recommended

This is a unique one and got me by surprise. I loved it even if I have cried the whole time watching the last episode. It is such a devastating and real ending. I knew it would be like that, but I hoped for something different. Nevertheless, it is a beautiful story about fate and love and grief. 10 out of 10 necklaces

My Ride (10/10 on Gaga) - highly recommended

This was some fucking wholesome shit! Damn! I love it. Why haven't I watched this one sooner? I had a smile on my face probably for the whole series. And Mork's smile? Pure sunshine and love and happiness. There might not be the strongest story, but it was well written and acted. 9,5 out of 10 sunshine smiles

My Bromance (2018/Taiwan) (12/12 on youtube) - recommended

This one was fun and light and I had a good time watching it. The focus is on the relationship between the mother and her two children. As funny as it gets, the series deals with serious issues and managed it not to be silly. 8,5 out of 10 sleepwalking fails

Craving You (10/10 on Gaga) - I can recommend without a doubt

This is as sweet as the desserts. It is not all lovey dovey and I didn't understand the concept of the collaboration, but I enjoyed this drama about a pastry chef and a singer who collab together. Best line of the drama: What I mean is, I decided to like you. That touched me deeply. 8,5 out of 10 madeleines

The Eclipse (12/12 on youtube) - recommended

It is really not easy to find the best words and the ebst rating for this one. I do like it very much, well until episode 11 happend...This is difficult. I wish they would have dealt a little different with all of the protests and homophobia and the revolution. It feels unfinished even though it is. After all I enjoyed watching it most of the times. The ending felt just too rushed. 8 out of 10 curses

Boys' Lockdown (6/6 on Youtube) - recommended

If you want something that makes you just feel good, watch this! I am still smiling :) The stroy is simple, but well done and acted and the characters are lovables. Two boys, who met in a drugstore and mixed up their meds, learn that they are each other's crush. So sweet. 8 out of 10 small dicks

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun (8/8 on Gaga) - recommended without doubts

I like this. It made me smile with every episode. At the end of every episode there was always reconciliation and they talked with each other! Their relationship is healthy and they care so much about each other! There is not much happening besides their story, but that is okay. 7,5 out of 10 blushing Takara-kuns

Love by Chance (14/14 on Viki) - recommended for Perth

Do I like the main story? Sure. I love Ae! He has such a cute pair of heart-eyes. And he so naturally loves Pete! I am in love with his love for Pete. Pete on the other hand, not my favorite. And the side stories! What in the holy hell was that? The amount of violence and SA, was that really necessary? But MAME...Do I have to say more? Guess not... 7 out of 10 of Ae's heart-eyes

Love by Chance 2: A chance to love (13/13 on Viki) - recommended for all of you who loved TinCan in the first one

I like TinCan. I like their story and that they are quite open and honest with everything. But the chemistry was difficult...It was there as long as there was no physical sexual contact. The story with Tin forgiving and helping his brother felt kind of rushed in the end, but Tul and Gonhin had more chemistry than everyone in this series together, so I am not mad that Tin helped his big brother to be together with his love again. The whole Ae/Pete storyline...was that necessary? And why couldn't you explain it better to your audience? Because it didn't make sense that they broke up? That made me really angry! 6,5 out of 10 for TinCan and TinCan only

My gear and your gown (12/12 on Youtube) - recommended if you don't know what to watch

This was okay. I liked the way the story was told. And I liked the couples and their energy, even though Itt had just one facial expression for anger, sadness or annoyence...that was a little bit annoying 😅 The story of those people falling in love was nothing new, but it was good enough to keep me hooked. I really appreciate the fact that they kind of educated about safe sex. 6,5 out of 10 earrings

I'm a fool for you 1 (4/4 on Gaga) - not really recommended

Confusing as fuck. I guess a few more minutes per episode could have helped. Most if the times I felt like someone just threw me into the scene or conversation without backstory or anything! I felt lost very often! But it is the best one for me out of the three. 5,5 out of 10 What is this all about

My Roommate (32/32 on Youtube) - not recommended

I don't know what this was. Barely two minutes per episode? Really? How can you tell a story with such a small amount of time? Well...I am, yet again, confused! This is just something else! 4 out of 10 I don't even know what...

I'm a fool for you 2 (4/4 on Gaga) - low recommendation rate

Guess what, I am still confused! At some points I got the impression they didn't know what they had talked about ten minutes ago and so the whole story changed without making any sense! Just no... 4,5 out of 10 why is this happening now

I'm a fool for you 3 (5/5 on Gaga) - only recommended if you like to suffer and watched the other seasons

Well that took a very dark turn! Still confused, because you don't get any backstory or explanation. But why so dark? Why so deeply devestating? And ending on a cliffhanger? Damn it...now I need to watch season four when in comes out...I need closure. 3,5 out of 10 dark turns

Evening Café (4/4 on Youtube) - not really recommended

This was bland and boring. It is a low production, but that doesn't mean it needs to be this bad. There are some good low productions out there which make just fun. This I couldn't enjoy. The acting was not good, the pacing was difficult, the scenes were cut together in a not so good way... 3 out of 10 too loud glass breaking noises!

Short films

Attraction (on Gaga) - recommended

What if you are in an established relationship, but developes attraction for someone else? You can't control who you find attractive, but you can decide to act on it or not. It is all about choices. This short was really good and it left me thinking. 8 out of 10 shared headphones

FUFU (on Gaga) - recommended

This is wholesome. Both lived a happy life together and in the end they stayed together. Of course the ending is sad but at the same time beautiful and an ode to love! While both are dealing with the inevitable ending they remember some happy moments. Worth a watch. 8 out of 10 times they felt like a married couple

Military Dog (on Gaga) - recommended if you're old enough and interested in those topics

A short film about a military officer who wants to be dominated by his master whose specialty is the training of human dogs. Yes, this is a short film of 10 minutes on GagaOOLala. I love Gaga for all the content they provide us with. I really can't watch any horror movie besides something with vampires or aliens, but I can watch those movies. 7 out of 10 doggy positions

One Last Order (on Gaga) - recommended if you like coffee and a good feeling in your heart

The story about a regular guest of a coffee shop who has a secret admirer who writes him love poems. That was a cute one, but at some points a little bit too long. But it has a good atmosphere and coffee. 7 out of 10 love poems

Some (on Youtube) - a mediocre recommendation level

You see how unrequired feels like. It is heartbreaking and devastating and full of wishful thinking. But in the end it is nothing but a friendship. At least a friendship so you have some parts of this person and you can be near them. But reality can just punch you in the guts sometimes. I liked it. 7 out of 10 daydreams

How to die young in Manila (on Gaga) - recommended if you have some spare time

I guess it is my month for disturbing things to watch...Well, I am more confused than disturbed. It is a little bit over artsy and missed the point it wanted to make, I guess? The dangers of being a male prostitute in Manila or just anywhere? But in the end I really don't know what exactly the point of this story should have been. The summary is not helpful at all... 6 out of 10 very graphic depiction of dead/dying people

Nabang Spark (on Gaga) - recommendation level low

This one was not my cup of tea. The bland story about two students and one og them wants to be close to the other and invites him to his birthday, but the other didn't show up. 5 out of 10 non existing sparks

Movies

The shortest distance is round (on Gaga) - not recommended at all

What a fuck-fest...I guess this movie was produced to show the dark sites of prostituion, sexual assault and just what could happen if your life takes a wrong turn...BUT! What the actual fuck? The plot was bland and with the ending (both versions) just stupid. I thought it was about a teacher-student-relationship as a main point, but that was just a catalyst for the following shit-show. The message is drowning in the flood of sexual content and that I think is really sad. It could have been so much more. Do I like it? Nope. Will I watch the rest of the movis? Probably... 3 out of 10 noises...oh those noises

What I’m looking forward to in October:

To Sir, with Love (Oct 3)

Kabe-Koji (Oct 4)

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Oct 5)

Two and One (Oct 5)

Big Dragon (Oct 8)

My Roommate (Oct 8)

Remember Me (Oct 9)

2 Moons 3 (Oct 10)

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (Oct 13)

Self (Oct 13)

My Tooth Your Love (Oct 14)

Hard Love Mission (Oct 15)

Doukysei (Oct 19)

My Tempo (Oct 20)

Eternal Yesterday (Oct 21)

Choco Milk Shake (Oct 25)

Grand Guignol (Oct 28)

Till the Worlds ends (Oct 29)

A shoulder to cry on (no exact date yet)

Happy Ending Outside the Fence/Happy Ending Romance (postponed until november)

[gwilin-stay-winnin]

Tag 7 people you'd like to know better!

was tagged by @ladytanithia

i don't know seven people to tag here on tumblr quite yet, so i'll tag two for now. feel free to play along if you want :3 @maldov and @inkysqueed. here are the prompts:

_–_–_

Last song listened to // Convergencia – Emiliano Salvador & Pablo Milanés

Been hooked with this one lately, ever since I heard it at the beginning of this movie. Features some breathtaking vocals by Milanés.

_–_–_

Currently watching // The Bear

My brother recommended it to me. There's a reason everyone's been talking up this show! The fast-paced, verisimilar dialogue and the simple plot lends itself well to the series' intense focus on details. Nothing in the script feel superfluous, though; every character has a purpose, and there's so much depth packed in so little space. I love how it subtly explores and comments on things like competition, ambition, tradition, misogyny, and racism in the present. I'm definitely partial to stories dealing with family drama, so this was a real treat for me.

_–_–_

Currently reading // The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon and The Imaginary Middle Ages: Movie Medievalism by Nickolas Haydock

First book is about the collective and individual psychology born of colonial relationships. Sounds fancy, but it's actually a fun read. The author uses some pretty colorful prose to illustrate his analysis, and the intro by Sartre is spectacular.

Second one is about putting the popular image people have of the Middle Ages in its context, i.e., "here's what you see in movies, in TV shows, in books, and here's what it was most probably like, and here's where that discrepancy comes from". The writing on this one isn't exactly thrilling (definitely takes some determination to get through), but it offers excellent insight into what exactly happens in that moment where the audience consumes images, unknowingly connecting them with ideas all the while.

_–_–_

Current obsession // Baking chocolate cake

There's this chocolate potato cake recipe I stumbled onto about a year ago (here on Tumblr, actually). It's from a Depression-era cookbook. Originally, the idea to put potatoes in the batter was to make it more filling and improve the yield, but it turns out the potato gives it a really great texture. I modified and refined the recipe to the point that I can't eat another chocolate cake without thinking about this one ;-; Here's the recipe in case anyone would like to give it a go:

CHOCOLATE POTATO CAKE

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 3/4 cups brown sugar

3/4 cups butter (melted)

2 eggs (room temp)

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup mashed potatoes (1 large baking potato produces enough)

1 cup sour cream (room temp)

1 14oz bag of milk chocolate chips (ground up)

Place chocolate chips in freezer.

Thoroughly wash and peel one large baking potato. Make sure to remove all eyes or spots. Boil for 20-25 minutes until tender, then mash. Place in a tall glass container without covering and allow to cool.

Beat together sugar, butter, eggs, and vanilla.

Combine flour, baking soda and salt in a separate bowl.

Add in the cup of mashed potatoes to the 'liquids' bowl and beat thoroughly. Mix in sour cream.

Blend chocolate chips in a food processor until they are as fine as possible. Mix into 'liquids' bowl.

Fold in the dry ingredients.

Place in a deep 9x9 inch baking pan or a bundt pan and bake for 50-55 minutes at 350˚F. Insert a toothpick into the center. If it comes out clean, it's ready.

[ts4ritsa]

✧ about me page …

this page contains pretty much all you need to know about my blog and me as a person :D

regarding me ┆彡

- heya there, call me sar! I’m the sole moderator in charge of this blog. you can refer to me with any pronouns but I’d appreciate they/them.

general info ┆彡

- here, you will find posts of mine that mainly consist of me indulging my follower’s requests and/or desires by writing reader-insert fanfiction of them being paired with characters in the shows and games they enjoy. sometimes I like to post my own thoughts and headcanons about my fav characters too

- if you would like to submit a request, please see my rules page first, then submit it through my inbox!

- also, I generally write in 2nd person POV and lowercase writing is a stylistic choice. but, oneshots will have proper grammar

- although this is primarily a writing blog, I do post other silly little things from time to time

likes ┆彡

- cats: I love cats. I have one and she’s my baby fr (she will be the death of me)

- self-care: taking time off to just relax and prioritize my well-being. this includes spa days, shopping sprees, basically just me-time! it’s a reason why I take time off my blog every now and then too. don’t forget to put yourself first!

- writing: I think this one’s obvious lol — it’s something I like to do for fun, since I love to create stories and I occasionally tend to daydream about what it’d be like to exist in the fantasy worlds of my favorite fictional medias

- making & drawing ocs: I absolutely LOVE creating my own original characters and bringing them to life with art. I like to brainstorm ideas in my head and use songs make up lore for em!

- medias: I like all of the medias I write for and have listed on my home page, but here are some others that I also enjoy — honkai: star rail, genshin impact, doki doki literature club, cookierun: kingdom, super danganronpa another 2, project: eden’s garden, amanda the adventurer, baldi’s basics, bendy and the ink machine, five night’s at freddy’s, spy x family, kakegurui, demon slayer, panty and stocking, onibi series, the music freaks, south park, teen titans, clone high, the proud family, kim possible, hazbin hotel, helluva boss, squid game, heathers, mean girls, six, descendants, across the spider-verse, the super mario bros. movie

* I do want to write for some of these fandoms in the future but I still need to get a general grasp of the story and characters before I do so. also I am totally open to new fandom suggestions

fun facts ┆彡

- this blog’s birthay is on june 16th, 2022!

- the fandoms I am currently most fixated with are danganronpa and total drama ★

- a side-project I am currently working on is my old fanganronpa story that I made a few years ago! since I was falling back into the dr hole again, I decided to pick it back up. I love my cast they’re so silly

before you follow ┆彡

- I have nothing but platonic love for you guys! so if I ever say “ILY” or anything like that and spam heart emojis just know it’s always gonna be platonic

- I do like to answer asks and talk to anons! feel free to tell or ask me anything (with the exception of trauma dumping and asking overly personal things obviously)

- I prefer following on my own so I’d prefer not being asked to be mutuals with anyone randomly. I’d like to get to know you a little first; or if we post related content, have similar interests and we’ve interacted at least once before

- I revamp my blog pretty often because I am bad at settling down with themes

- if you’d like to become an emoji/named anon, send me an ask or request with your sign off and I’ll add you right away ^^

- I can disappear from time to time because of writer’s block, so yeah sorry about that in advance

- please don’t bring up any problematic or controversial topics on this blog — I want this account’s purpose to be solely for fun and I’m not trying to associate with problematic subjects or people :)

faves ┆彡

- amphibia: anne boonchuy, marcy wu, sasha waybright, darcy

- danganronpa: byakuya togami, angie yonaga, makoto naegi, kyoko kirigiri, celestia ludenberg, sakura ogami, genocider syo, hajime hinata, mahiru koizumi, hiyoko saionji, ryota mitarai, chiaki nanami, kirumi tojo

- genshin impact: kamisato ayaka, hu tao, xiao, furina, shenhe, kamisato ayato, xiangling

- honkai: star rail: gepard landau, fu xuan, acheron, sparkle, firefly, tingyun, kafka, silver wolf, stelle, dan heng

- madoka magica: homura akemi, mami tomoe, kyoko sakura, madoka kaname, sayaka miki

- project sekai colorful stage: airi momoi, emu otori, kanade yoisaki, rui kamishiro, all of mmj and niigo tbh, an shiraishi

- steven universe: peridot, yellow diamond, pearl

- the owl house: darius deamonne, luz noceda, amity blight, lilith clawthorne, edalyn clawthorne, boscha

- total drama: courtney, heather, leshawna

- yandere simulator: umeji kizuguchi, raibaru fumetsu, musume ronshaku

[haru-sen]

Wanted: Alpha Readers

Hitting a wall with the original series. Looking for someone who's interested in reading a WIP and giving feedback. Bonus if you're good with me word-vomiting at you while I refine some concepts. (I promise I'll keep crying fits to a minimum.)

Book 1: The Foxglove Pact

Welcome to Illium, City of Lies, a home to man, monsters, and magic, where the cardinal rule is “don’t draw attention to the occult underground.” Except it’s not so underground any more: it lives down the street, goes to PTA meetings, and occasionally eats your pets

Private investigator Feng Yue “Claire” Giles is skeptical when a client, with severe credibility issues, comes in convinced that his child was switched for a Fey Changeling. He claims that he killed the impostor, and now he wants his real kid back. Worse, he has the influence to make her take the job. 

Claire is not in this alone. She has a potential ally in the scarred mercenary Dreyson, though his past is even more checkered than hers, and none of her allies trust him. But both are on the job and under threat, physically and romantically, from the Fey Court enforcer known as the Crow Knight.  

Claire has a very strained relationship with the law and a layman’s grasp of the supernatural, a combination that forces her to walk a very thin line,  but also makes her precisely the right person to take this case. Especially when one of the Changelings shows up to hire her to find their human counterpart. However, the Fey Courts, preternatural civil servants, and local mercenaries all have their own agendas: not everyone wants her digging up the past. Changelings start turning up dead and this alleged baby-switching case has far-reaching consequences for the city, the children, and their families. Now Claire needs to move fast to find the Changelings and their human counterparts before it’s too late.

Book 2: The Wolfbane Trail *Contains spoilers for the Foxglove Pact

Welcome to Illium, City of Refuge, where a disgraced knight, an exiled princess, and traumatized Changeling children can give therapy a test run. Here, there is also a Family Law Division of the Shadow Courts, so yes, supernatural custody disagreements can turn into all-out war, but that isn’t really so different from everyone else; if you ignore the involvement of another sovereign state, generational curses, and murderous tree-people.

Feng Yue “Claire” Giles is now employed by the diplomatic half of the Lares, the bureaucratic guardians of the city. Her interest remains in protecting both the Changeling children (human and Fey) and the Vernal Princess, the true heir to subjugated Spring Court. Both the current ruler and an exiled uncle make a bid for custody, their political machinations and the violence of the Courts spilling over into the city. Claire opposes returning the young princess, and this stance unfortunately, puts her on the same side as the Crow Knight, who seems hellbent on courting both her and the mercenary Dreyson.

Worse, werewolves are going missing, their body parts are turning in black market shops, with no clues as to how they are disappearing. With everyone focused on the violence of the Fey Courts spilling into the city, a few missing werewolves aren’t the priority. Even Claire’s boss and close friend, Thomas Remington, refuses to help the Special Investigations Unit on the case. Against her better judgment, and everyone else’s advice, Claire agrees to look into the matter.

With tensions high, and alliances shifting, Claire needs all the help she can get to keep the children safe, stay alive, and push the Fey fighting out of the city, before everything goes straight to hell.

Book 3: The Pain in My Ass WIP

So much family drama, lol.

[gillianthecat]

thanks for the tag @lelephantsnail. I feel honored; this is my first one of these!

NAME: it's not Gillian, but you can call me that if you want :-)

I will say that my real name reached it's peak of popularity as a baby name in the 1960s, which was several decades before I was born.

SIGN: one of the signs that's an animal. I feel that's vague enough to be non-identifying :-) I don't really follow astrology, but from what I do know I don't particularly fit the characteristics of my sign

HEIGHT: a little under 5'5. (I feel like a little kid "i am 6 and three quarters years old", but for some reason that extra 3/4 of an inch is important to me)

TIME: started this at 11:30 pm, don't know when I'll finish.

BIRTHDAY: i tend to treat it like a special day and am generally Aware that it's my birthday while it's happening. i don't particularly like a big celebration, but for many years I've had a tradition of taking a dance class on the day, no matter where I was (did this on a trip to London once!)

FAVOURITE ARTIST/BAND: oh god, this question always feels scary to me for some reason. I think I return to my adolescent self and worry about having the right, cool answer. I'm also terrible at picking favorites in general. I love a wide variety of music and admire musicians, but I don't tend to closely follow bands or artists.

LAST MOVIE: I've been watching tons of tv shows/drama series and very few movies. According to Netflix, the last movie I watched on there was Hail, Caesar! many months ago, which I watched with my dad. It was entertaining and silly, and felt more like a collection of vignettes rather than a movie with a plot.

Oh! I recently watched Lan Yu (藍宇), a 2001 openly queer Chinese movie, set in mainland China but made in Hong Kong. I found out about it through Tumblr user @/rongzhi who hosted a viewing party on discord. I recommend it, it's beautiful and sad, in the style of Wong Kar-wai. It's unfortunately really hard to find, the only online version I could dig up is one on youtube titled "new slime video again! totally not lan yu (藍宇) made in 2001." Hopefully it stays there, it's low resolution but good enough to be worth watching.

LAST SHOW: Last show I completed was The Devil Judge. I'm watching War of Y and The Eclipse as they come out (unusual for me, I'm almost always a binger). I've started a bunch, and currently have tabs with Vincenzo and Lovely Writer open but I keep getting distracted so I'm not really watching either.

WHEN I CREATED THIS BLOG: Around the beginning of the pandemic, maybe summer 2020? I joined tumblr to follow a hockey romance writer (Taylor Fitzpatrick) and then started following various others, mostly fanfic writers, as a lurker. I didn't start posting until a month ago (July 21, 2022), inspired by KinnPorsche and then other BL shows I got into.

WHAT I POST: So far it's been mostly reactions to and analysis of BL and BL-adjacent shows. And occasionally videos of dancers (ballet & tango so far). But I have ADHD, so who knows what the future holds.

OTHER BLOGS: I started a sideblog @iamthinkingaboutvariousthings to use as a storage container for reblogging posts I want to keep track of but not overwhelm my timeline with. At the moment its all The Devil Judge meta.

DO I GET ASKS: I've only had a few so far, but I got so excited! I would love asks.

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: so erratic (see ADHD), but I probably need about 9?

WHAT I'M WEARING: dark blue sweatpants, a light blue t-shirt, and glasses

DREAM JOB: This is an emotionally fraught question right now, so I'm gonna skip it :-)

DREAM TRIP: ooh boy. I've been fortunate to travel a lot with my family (my grandmother loved to travel and would take us all over the world). I'd love to travel more on my own, I haven't done that much. I can't pick a place though, the world is too big and amazing!

I went to England with my mom and did most of the planning myself, so that was a past dream trip. We got to see Stonehenge up close, which was amazing! (Unsolicited advice: it's worth paying for a special after hours tour that gives you the history and lets you actually enter the circle. From the public path it looks kinda blah, but from afar and from inside its quite magical.)

FAVOURITE SONGS (and quotes from them, just for some spice): it's stressing me out to think about it (see previous music question) and this is for fun, so I'm going to skip it too.

I don't know if y'all like ask games, but I'll tag @heretherebedork @absolutebl @markswifesblog @moonchildridden @negrowhat @little-arcadia @technitango @thedeviljudges @bitletsanddrabbles and @veemark. No pressure to respond! And if anyone else wants to play, consider yourself tagged!

[mademoiselle-red]

8 Shows Tag Game

RULES - List eight shows for your followers to get to know you better.

Thanks to @argyleheir for tagging me!

Doctor Who (the 2005 reboot)

The 10th, 11th, and 12th doctor eras are my favorite seasons to rewatch. Blink, Silence in the Library, and The Eleventh Hour are my favorite episodes.

Honorary mention: Torchwood: Children of Earth. It was amazing and utterly devastating. A Doctor Who spin-off.

This is Going to Hurt

This miniseries starring Ben Whishaw about a obgyn doctor perfectly encapsulates the kind of humor I enjoy.

Honorary mention: A Very English Scandal. Written by Russel T Davis (Doctor Who show-runner of the 9th and 10th Doctor eras). Staring Ben Whishaw and Hugh Grant. A hilarious and fascinating 3 episode miniseries.

Derry Girls

Teenagers acting like real teenagers, in 1990s Northern Ireland, just living their ordinary lives amidst sectarian conflict and military occupation. The teen drama feels so realistic because it takes place in such a specific time (early 90s) and place (Derry) and focuses on specific people (Irish Catholic teenagers), in contrast to teen shows like Sex Education or Euphoria that seem to take place in near-present-day, any-town. Despite the specificity of the story, Derry Girls is probably the most relatable teen show I’ve ever seen. The focus on friendships, school, family, community, and tentative explorations of love and identity were much more relatable than teen shows that focus on sex, drugs, toxic families, and high stakes conflicts. Like in Derry Girls, my teenage years were largely sheltered from the conflicts of the adult world, and the most high stake thing I ever did was apply to university. But also like Derry Girls, I was gradually becoming aware of adult problems (interpersonal, financial, political) and developing my opinions on them. I find it very poignant that Derry Girls begins the first episode with our protagonist arguing with her mother over wearing a jean jacket instead of her school uniform because she’s a teenager now, and “teenagers have rights”, and ends the final episode of the final season with the protagonist exercising her right to vote in a referendum ratifying the Good Friday Agreement.

Ultimate Note

A Chinese series adapting Books 4 and 5 of the Grave Robbers’ Chronicles novels by Nanpai Sanshu. I adore the novels and this is, in my opinion, the only decent screen adaptation. There have been dozens of cinematic and tv adaptations and they have all been rather terrible for some inexplicable reason.

Band of Brothers

Currently obsessed this. A miniseries about a company of American paratroopers on the western front in World War Two. The main character, Dick Winters, is my blorbo ❤️❤️❤️

What Did You Eat Yesterday

A Japanese miniseries about a gay couple and their shared delight in the food they eat. Each episode contains a storyline centered around our protagonists finding joy in an ordinary culinary experience, featuring extended cooking montages, detailed descriptions of food while cooking and eating, and plenty of humor and social commentary.

Hannibal

I watch it while cooking and eating. I’m in the fandom for the food porn.

The Great British Bake-Off

I only re-watch the early seasons, when Mary Berry was still one of the judges. This show inspired me to attempt Victoria Sponge Cakes and Meat Pies.

[batcowmaster]

on one hand I’m disappointed by the possible YJ cancellation for Damian, Jon, Dawn and Don reasons. The tease of Jason and Damian brotherhood, and them all finding out that not only was Jason alive but Damian was Bruce’s son, seeing more of Talia, Damian and Jon maybe becoming friends, etc. Notice how none of the things I’m excited about have any real presence in the last two seasons and I’ve given up on most of the characters and dynamics currently present because they give us almost NOTHING in ways of development.

But I’m also not because a lot of the dynamics I loved have corroded. Characters I desperately wanted to see more of didn’t get more or anything to do. There were storylines that lacked all tension and interest. Splitting the main team into THOROUGLY separated arcs in season 4 even when returning to the original characters was the stupidest move because what we all WANTED was to see more of their relationships. Even aside from me desperately wanting Wally back I would have been ecstatic for just the TEAM together. Additionally several arcs that were meant to be about a particular member...weren’t really about them. I mean, I think Will should have been part of the line-up considering his presence in season 1 but fine. Rocket’s was overshadowed by multiple other storylines, most of which had nothing to do with... anything, and Nightwing’s contained almost NOTHING about Nightwing. Jason died before season 2 and we STILL don’t know anything about how Dick dealt with it. What it meant to him and how he handled it. We see a little of him grieving Wally in season 3 but I would have liked to see more in season 4 about the cost of losing people to him and maybe his fears for Tim in the wake of that. Especially with Conner’s death and Jason actually being alive but brainwashed. The ending to season 4 was rushed beyond belief. Zod’s defeat seemed ridiculously easy and simple, wrapped up quickly after a season’s build up. And as someone who lowkey does not care (and often times hates) M’gann and Conner’s relationship that wedding sequence was not a satisfying conclusion. I wouldn’t have minded a scene of them getting married or kissing but I would have much preferred the focus remain on the original members taking stock and feeding into their relationships and dynamics after such an emotional journey. That romance is not the drive for the show for me - it’s that team of kids who loved one another and went all out for each other.  

If YJ does get renewed I don’t know how much hope I have of actually seeing things I want to see and storylines that excite me. I’m still waiting on Tim getting development from season 2. Bart having a decent role again. Jaime?? Where are you?? My poor Wonder family never get any light. And Shazam has been neglected since s1. Etc. They keep adding in new characters who either don’t deliver or get proper story arcs or melt back into the background after a singular moment when characters that have already been established STILL don’t have development. I was so excited to see Orphan/Cass Cain but knew she’d be swallowed up again after her mini story arc. And this season I was hoping for the team again but got very little. All the things I’m interested in would be fun but how well they’d even be done I don’t know, and I honestly shouldn’t be hinging on a Young Justice show to give me Batfamily and Superfamily drama, let alone an eventual teamup between Super-Bat-Flash kids that have nothing to do with the original YJ team (beyond the already established passing on the team mantle from season 2). 

Anyway, that’s my rant. As an avid fan of this series for years I’m a little upset but also not at all.

[matandchitza]

The Highway Family (2022) - A Flawed Attempt on Empathy and Awareness

This review contains unmarked spoilers, proceed at your own risk. Though I wrote this as I love reviewing stuff despite not intending for it to be read, I still put on a spoiler warning in case people come across this anyway.

These are all my personal opinions, they’re not correct! They’re just my personal views, in case someone finds this for some reason haha.

I just finished watching a Korean movie titled “The Highway Family” directed by Lee Sang-mun, which was released in late 2022 according to Google and IMDB.

And it was unfortunately a bland ride someone who decently likes slow burns and social awareness dramas couldn’t enjoy, though I tried my best to.

The plot summary over at IMDB would say, and I cite, “When a middle-aged, grieving woman gives money to a family out of kindness, only to learn they are homeless and living at the highway rest area, a life-altering series of events unfolds.“

And that sounds like a great synopsis to a drama where a family turns over a new leaf and is given a second chance at a start after living through poverty throughout their entire lives by a that grieving woman (Young-su).

Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be what this movie would turn out to be.

Plot write-up/summary:

The movie has a good start, introducing the family and their silly antics, camping out in places they aren’t supposed to camp in and emphasizing the cute interactions between the parents and their children despite their current situation, and showing that perhaps not all children who grow up in poverty are the stereotypical unhappy and starving children.

It establishes them as humans, people who were just given the wrong end of the stick, if that metaphor is correct for situations like this.

After a short montage of the family traveling to a rest stop, the father, Ki-woo, asks a random couple for 20,000 won, stating that he doesn’t have enough gas money to refill his tank and additionally mentioning that he lost his wallet.

But he asks for their bank account so he can wire the money back, so he’s nice! Nah, just kidding, he never pays back any of the people he scammed.

When that doesn’t work, he brings out the kids, Eun-yi and Taek.

The two kids showing up are usually enough to goat people into giving them his money, which they fortunately use to feed the kids some instant ramen. Which definitely can’t be good for them to be eating all the time, but what other choice do they have anyway?

Though I definitely would never condone scamming people out of 20,000 won (which is like $15 according to Google), they at least had a morally sound reason to do that, and he at least used the money to feed his wife and children.

They then get kicked out of the rest stop after lingering a bit too long and provoking an officer (not police) and snapping one of their tent’s poles in that altercation.

But before they leave, they scam a nice lady who offers an additional 50,000 won above the 20,000 they usually get from scamming, this lady is Young-su, who had seen Eun-yi trying to drink tap water earlier.

After that happens, Young-su leaves the rest stop, as she glances at her car’s dashboard to see how little gas she has left but still smiling regardless as she continues driving.

They then move to another rest stop, despite Taek’s protest of being too tired to walk. He then throws a fit, where he runs off away from the family. Ji-sook sends Eun-yi to fetch her brother, where she surprisingly handles his tantrum well and gets him to calm down after he trips in the middle of running away by offering him candy she kept to herself.

This works well, as mentioned above, only for Taek to start chewing, have one of his baby tooth fall off right then, and start crying again. I guess this was comedic to people watching in theaters, but I think I was one of those who didn’t really care too much. (Sorry..)

Eun-yi doubles down and offers him more candy, calming him down completely. She then throws off his tooth into the nearby bushes and prays. (Is this a cultural thing in South Korea? Not sure, despite having watched K-Dramas for 3 years at this point)

The family then begins their trip to their next rest stop, walking through tunnels to get to their destination.

I’m getting a bit lazy as I type, so here’s a TL;DR of what happened after they establish all the important characters:

They get to another rest stop, where Ki-woo scams an unsuspecting elderly couple out of the usual 20,000 won and thanks them as they drive off, with the mandatory “I’ll wire it back to your bank account” excuse;

Young-su coincidentally drives to the rest stop they’re in, spots Ki-woo scamming an unsuspecting elderly couple and puts on a disguise to watch the family;

Eun-yi and Taek starts playing a game of hide and seek, where Taek with his genius (what seems to be) six year old mind, decides to hide under a truck of all places, and nearly gets RUN OVER until Young-su swoops in to save them. To add: now that I think about it, this movie was ALWAYS one step away from turning into a horror or thriller movie;

Young-su drags the kids to the parents, berating them for their failure to watch the kids. Ki-woo at this point had completely forgotten who she was (or it was an act, couldn’t tell since the actor really looked dumbfounded lol). He starts to be passive-aggressive with her, where she just goes “Yeah, no. I’m calling the police.”;

Cue Young-su calling the police on them and them running off to a new rest stop, but not before Ji-sook falls down, giving Young-su a chance to catch up and probe her. This reveals that she’s pregnant with another child. She then runs off and consoles Ki-woo, who has a bit of a violent breakdown and threatening Young-su with death in the chaos;

They then catch the family, taking them to the nearby police station. Ki-woo is arrested and Young-su takes the family to live with them.

They live decent lives until Ki-woo breaks out from his cell, which coincidentally sparks a few unfortunate incidents to happen. Taek tears his ligament after being accidentally crushed by furniture that Young-su’s husband and their employee was transporting (he’s completely fine outside of that tear), despite being told not to get out of the car after he insists to come with them. Young-su and Ji-sook was already in the hospital for a medical checkup of Ji-sook’s baby. Young-su and her husband’s relationship sours further.

Cue Ki-woo meeting Eun-yi after escaping, telling her to pass a note to Ji-sook after admiring his daughter’s new ability to write and read (Eun-yi was completely illiterate up to this point);

Ji-sook then goes “Yeah, sorry, no. I’m not going back to that life, PLEASE leave.” when she meets him, sending him into another very bad violent breakdown after he leaves;

Ki-woo completely loses it. He first dine and dashes a poor ahjumma selling fried food and threatened her with a skewer, and then going through a grocery store and just ravaging it and eating whatever he comes across. When confronted by staff, he throws a watermelon and some other fruits and vegetables at them then runs off. He then... umm.. smears his face with what looks to be feces and picks up a flaming bucket;

He comes back to Young-su’s house as they are having BBQ together with Ji-sook, completely broken at this point and sets her furniture on fire in the struggle to restrain him, everyone survives but Ki-woo.

The movie ends with Eun-yi’s internal monologue to her father, stating that she’s happy now and is living well with Young-su. The movie then cuts to a shot of them after the incident, showing Young-soo and her husband embracing the two children, as they cry.

The Review

Reading the plot summary I made above, I could say that the movie was very messy in terms of its plot points.

It goes from 0 to 100 quickly, and not in a good way. It tries to portray a neutral ground on poverty and to bring awareness of it, only to end up creating this weirdly tense experience even though the first half seems to hint at a emotional drama movie rather than a thriller movie.

I’m aware that the two genres (thriller and drama) can go hand-in-hand when pulled off well (Juvenile Justice), it’s just that from the promotional material for this movie just gives a different vibe than what I got watching the end product.

So I’ll rate this movie on 3 categories: cinematography, characterization and story.

Story

The plot was very messy to say the least, it just outright swapped genres from a drama to a f!cking thriller-tragedy after Ki-woo decided to go out like that in the end.

My expectations for the movie was a pure ‘0 to hero’ kind of drama. Where despite Ki-woo and his violent breakdowns, he eventually begins seeking help and eventually gets back on his feet with the support of the people around him.

I know that this type of plot is overdone, but in my opinion it would’ve been better with this approach alongside the scenes of Ki-woo struggling.

Another problem is how his violent breakdowns are never properly explained in the movie, and it becomes a bit problematic and it ends up clashing with other plot points if this aspect of him suddenly became a vital plot point while trying to present Ji-wook trying to get back on her feet without Ki-woo through proper means. They then could’ve shown Ji-wook getting proper mental health assistance and reuniting with kids after he gets better mentally, as this life has left some obvious scars on his psyche and he clearly needs it based on how he acts after the first half. If only they went with this route instead and didn’t go with the violent prison break plot point.

This could’ve been good, but ended up falling flat hard and failing to convey anything important socially regarding poverty and the people who struggle through it.

Final rating: 2/5, this was not a good social awareness drama nor a good thriller.

Cinematography

Okay, this movie has a few saving graces, and one of them is its cinematography. It has a few good shots that stand out, with some being wallpaper worthy:

This movie seems to love playing with symmetrically balanced compositions and wide shots, which I dig!

The way the movie is graded in some scenes seem to remind me of older Korean films for some reason, though I can’t grasp exactly why.

Final rating: 4.5/5

Characterization

In my opinion, also quite weak. None of the characters stand out too much but Eun-yi, who’s overall mature, really knows how to read situations, and caring towards her troublemaking and selfish younger brother. What makes her particularly stand out is her calm and composed personality, and I personally feel like she was more fleshed out than the other characters.

Even Young-su, Ki-woo, and Ji-sook didn’t stand out this much in comparison to her, as their overall characterization was weak and they weren’t really fleshed out as the plot progressed.

Final rating: 2.5/5

Overall Rating: 3

Verdict: One size doesn’t fit all, some may enjoy this movie, but I clearly didn’t enjoy it too much. It could’ve been better with a bit of a more polished story. This movie attempted to bring empathy and awareness, only to sadly fail in doing so. With overall weak characters, there was no one I could really latch on to. The acting was good, but overall standard quality where it isn’t bad nor mediocre, but it wasn’t too great either. Granted, they were probably limited by the kinda weak script.

[sukirichi]

earned it [07]

Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.

cw. explicit smut, pool sex, slight angst, i miss naoya :(, mafia business, mentions of blood, lots of drama, mentions of death and murder

note. IDEK ANYMORE. lmao anyways do you guys want faster updates or do you guys want to wait? i can finish the series next week and then we can move on to white lies 😈

series masterlist

The three of you were seated back at your tables, where the whole dancing fiasco had thankfully ended. Satoru noticed nothing of your behavior – either he was really clueless, or you were a damn good actor – the guy was much too invested with the files Nanami was currently showing.

For a moment, you let yourself loosen as you took a deep breath. The account was much more important than whatever Nanami was scheming.

“I think I may have found where the real money is, or treasure, we should say, since none of us can really figure out what the Zen’ins might be hiding. And from the looks of it, considering Naoya had no idea about what his family kept prior to his death, this is something only his elders wanted to know about,” Nanami pinched the bridge of his nose, sliding a photo of an unsuspecting white manor that you hadn’t seen in a long time. “And it’s been right under our nose the whole time.”

“That’s one of our islands,” you replied with a furrowed brow, “Are you saying you traced the source back there? But that’s impossible, we haven’t used that island for years and even Naoya told me he was going to sell it because it was of no use to us. It’s not on commercial waters and there’s no local people around either. That island is in the middle of nowhere.”

“This is exactly why it’s the best place to hide things – because no one would ever suspect this seemingly harmless middle of nowhere could contain their assets.”

Satoru, who’d kept silent the whole time, inched closer to you. His cologne wafting off to you eased you for a moment – purely because it was familiar – and even though you despised saying it, you were thankful he was here. Currently, the blond man posed a bigger threat, the difference being that Nanami actually had leverage against you while you had more control over Satoru.

You sighed. If Naoya was here, things would’ve been so much better. He never lost his composure in figuring things out on his own. But now that he was gone, now that he’d never be coming back, you had be responsible for his sake, but mostly for yours.

“Take a look at this. The nearest land is a small, uncharted city from Brazil’s outskirts. I’ve been illegally transporting weaponry and firearms somewhere near there since our family started the business – it’s the easiest place to sneak in things without getting caught. All you need to do is pay a few fishermen and they’ll easily transport our load from one place to another, no questions asked,” Satoru announced, seemingly deep in thought as he rubbed his chin. “It would make sense if the Zen’in clan elders found this place useful too. It’s basically a hot site for criminals.”

“But we don’t operate this way. The Zen’in elders are too prideful to handle transactions like this. They would’ve chosen a more…discreet yet formal way of handling things.”

“How does an underwater passage sound?” Nanami pushed the other photo aside to reveal a blurry snap of what seemed like a tunnel under the sea. On the surface, it looked just like an abandoned rig, but it stretched too long, the exterior already covered in mold and seaweed. “About 80 years ago, the Zen’in Clan leader at that time was often heavily targeted by their enemies in business that they preferred to travel under the sea. If my theory is correct, right under that island would be another base of some sort that allows the clan leaders move from one country to another while remaining undetected.”

“So that’s how they easily sent their own shit overseas…”

“It would be a very sound conclusion to assume so,” Nanami crossed his arms at Satoru’s musings, “However, that’s all I know. All I can tell you is where I last got the signal for the source – which is about seven years ago, and a few months right after Toji Zen’in was disowned by his family when Naobito took over. It would also be near around the time he met his wife and had his child, which would increase the possibilities that he may have stored something in this island for his son’s future. Again, it could be money, gold – we don’t really know,” he nodded your way, a sense of finality behind those blue eyes that had now looked so menacing when once it brought you comfort – reassurance. “How you get there is all up to you.”

Something didn’t feel right.

“If the elders really wanted to hide this place, they wouldn’t have passed the rights of the island into my inheritance when Naoya died. They surely wouldn’t have wanted me to find out about this.”

“I could think of two things,” Satoru proposed, “It’s either they trust your potential enough as the clan leader to replace Naoya, or they didn’t think you’d care anyway.”

You let his words sink in. The clan elders have never bothered much with you. They were too prideful about “saving face” and “keeping up images” that they couldn’t even let a word of insult slip past their lips under the belief they were above that. But you weren’t stupid; they had never approved of your marriage to Naoya. An outsider like you, suddenly becoming a part of their family when they could’ve had your husband marry a family friend?

They may have kept silent about their dislike to you, but one way or another, they were going to take action for it.

Knowing the Zen’ins, being a Zen’in, you knew there was one thing they hated the most: not being in control.

“Neither,” you finally concluded while mumbling down at your lap. The theory was hazy, incomplete, based only on mere emotions but slowly, you were coming together to piece it. You felt Satoru turn your way, his large hand caressing your knee as if coaxing the words out of you. “It’s neither. Naoya’s elders…they never liked me. It’s been made pretty clear to me that I’m dispensable without my husband, and I will never be a Zen’in in their eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if they asked me to give up all my inheritance from Naoya because I’m not related to them by blood.”

The silence in the table stretched.

No matter how grandiose the hotel restaurant may be, you felt suffocated in that seat. How didn’t you realize it sooner? You were in a land that stretched past your territory, with both men accompanying you people you couldn’t wholeheartedly trust, while your husband rotted away back at home – probably covered in dust and not even given a proper burial like he deserved.

There was only one way out of this, to put an end to everything. It would prove to be a daunting task, but you didn’t have a choice. No, in fact, this was your only choice if you wanted to survive.

Satoru’s voice softened upon seeing the grimness of how you turned mum. “I’ll follow you wherever you go. I promise to help you in finding out whatever is in there,” he met your eyes; yours filled with contempt, with fear, with desperation, and his filled with regret. “It’s the least I could do…after everything I’ve done to you.”

You took a deep breath.

You couldn’t lie to yourself. There was no way you could trust him with his empty promises. He’d shown enough times that he wasn’t a man of his word, and you’d be a fool to fall for it again. However, Nanami’s glance was curious and suspecting, hiding his true colors with an innocent gesture of sipping his wine. He may seem unbothered and only here to ‘help’, but this man was cunning, possibly more so than Naoya could ever be, and one wrong move would be similar to stepping on a land mine.

Satoru received no response from you, and soon the three of you were standing outside the hotel’s lobby to escort Nanami back where he came from. The dinner was tense, so much so that you’d unknowingly been clutching Satoru’s bicep the whole time.

He tapped your shoulder, bringing you back to life as he gestured to his phone. “Sorry, it’s Geto.”

“Oh,” you muttered and stepped away from him, feeling your heart sink in your chest as you watched him retreat behind the glass doors. Beside you, Nanami snickered.

“Made up your mind, agent?” he taunted, “This is your final chance to prove yourself. Gather enough intel for us to intrude whatever that mighty clan is hiding underneath that island, surrender Gojo to us, and we’ll give you everything as promised.”

You faced him with fiery eyes, prepared for whatever he’d throw your way when he showed you that cursed red coin again. Realizing its power, the true meaning it held, you immediately shut your lips. It must’ve satisfied to know he was the one in charge here, and how could he not be when your life was literally at the palm of his hands, your days growing more numbered if you didn’t follow everything he asked for?

If you had just…if you had just done everything the Organization had asked you for, you wouldn’t have been here. You wouldn’t have felt this torn.

Nanami flipped the coin before tucking it into his pocket, sending one last salute your way. He hailed a cab and disappeared afterwards, leaving you alone to ponder over the consequences of your actions, your emotions. For the first time in his life, Naoya had lied to you.

He wasn’t correct when he said you were strong.

Because after all this time, you still held onto something that you should’ve let go of a long time ago, and you had nothing but your weak, sensitive, hopeless heart to blame for. Said hurdle appeared not long afterwards, his touch warm on your shoulder as he gazed at the empty spot beside you.

“Oh, Nanami left,” he noted, turning your shoulders to him until you were completely exposed. There was no more hiding from him, or more like you didn’t have enough energy to. You felt dull, tiredness lining your eyes and lips pressed into a flat line. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

Ten days. That was how much you’ve wasted your time here in Milan, and you weren’t even remotely close to figuring things out. Your resources were much more limited the farther you were from the Zen’in Estate, and your lawyer was a family one, meaning they held more loyalty to the actual Zen’ins instead of law-affiliated people like you were.

Simply put, you were all alone to solve this by yourself.

Satoru promised to help, but he kept disappearing in the morning along with Geto. You never asked where they went or what they did; it simply didn’t matter anymore.

You would only spend hours locked in your room as you researched everything you could on your private island near Brazil. Just like Satoru said, it seemed like the perfect place to hide things for the spot seemed remote enough to offer privacy for the family’s getaway. You could somewhat recall Naoya proposing once to take you there for your honeymoon, but business got in the way, and it wasn’t like you truly trusted him then to spend such an intimate with him that you said no.

Sighing, you put all the papers away. Not even a single clue led you to what could be possibly be there, but there was an underwater passage. The fact the Zen’ins was capable of building that made you wonder just what the extent of their powers and influence stretched to, and you contemplated for a bit if you could hold that same ability now that you had his name.

Whatever was there, you would look for it.

Your mission was clear – the success of it would determine the fate of your life. Find out what they’re hiding, surrender Satoru Gojo to the Organization, and then everything would be over.

It sounded simple, yet your heart knew it wasn’t. Naoya died with the confidence of his trust over you, the trust you worked so hard to earn. But wasn’t that point? You needed him to trust you for you to be able to pull this mission off, but things happened, emotions and conscience got in the way, and you banged your knuckles on the table until your ring throbbed on your finger.

You just wanted it all to end. You never meant to hurt Naoya, never meant to betray anyone, but it fucking pissed you off that Naoya wasn’t the real problem. He wasn’t the one holding you back.

With not much thought to your next actions, you slipped past the guards and into the pool that had long been closed since 10PM. Being at your room’s tub reminded you of memories you’d rather forget, and you slowly undid your robe and stepped out of your underwear before dipping in the cold, freezing water.

It felt good. It may have been temporary, but the numbing bite of the water helped you feel more placated. Even for a little while, it was nice to not worry about anything. There were no titles, no mafia drama, no anything, just you and the water that you would’ve easily fooled yourself to be simply enjoying your little trip in Milan until –

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. You had me worried sick,” You sighed. Of course. Opening your eyes, you raised a brow as Satoru towered over you, a standard hotel towel in his arms. He’d change out of his suit and into cotton shorts and a shirt this time around, possibly on his way to sleep when he realized the room was empty. With no energy to deal with him, you swam away from the man, earning a groan in response. “What the hell is your problem? You’ve been acting weird ever since Nanami came. Listen, if this is about that island, you don’t have to worry too much about anything. I have enough people and resources to help you in every step of the way.”

You ignored him. After everything that happened, what was there to talk about anymore? Even if you told him everything, he might not understand.

So you swam in the middle of the pool, thankful that it was dark enough from the maintenance shutting the lights off that Satoru struggled to find you. However, you’d underestimated him because soon you heard the splashing of the water, and you were harshly tugged by the wrist before Satoru cornered you at the edge of the pool.

He was breathing hard; both of you were, and tried to push past his chest, only to be met with a solid plane of muscle that wouldn’t budge. You sighed and turned away from him, covering your exposed chest with your arms.

“Whatever Naoya is looking for…you’ll find it, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’m serious,” the scorn in his tone had been so biting you turned back to him, about to hit him with something, scold him for something, but your words died down in your throat before you even had the chance to.

Satoru hadn’t been demanding. His face, illuminated by the moonlight, made his azure eyes twinkle like stardust exploding. Once in your life, you found so much comfort into staring at such beauty, but that was when everything was still a perfect lie. Funny how the truth ruined everything for its darkness, and you could only look back at him weakly, throat running dry from all the emotions that threatened to pour out of you.

Regret and desperation was written all over his face.

“Please,” he rested his forehead on yours, eyes closed as he mumbled, “You’re not alone in this. I don’t want to ask for much because I know I don’t deserve it, but please at least understand you don’t have to solve everything on your own. You’re not…you’re not alone. I’m here now.”

“When you left me,” your voice cracked, “It’s because you thought I wouldn’t love you anymore if I found out your true nature,” Satoru opened his eyes, anxiety swimming in those eyes that had once been so sweet. Perhaps he still held that sweetness now, albeit it was less tender and more cautious as he waited for you to continue. “If I told you about every sin I’ve committed, the name of each person I killed and everything I’ve done, would you stay with me? Or would you leave me again, only this time it’s because you think I’m no longer someone you could love?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t expect you to,” was all you said before you felt a tear prick the back of your eyes. You didn’t want him to see, god, you wanted to disappear in that moment you couldn’t think of anything else. Crashing your lips to his, you brought him down by the back of his neck to hide the tears freely falling from your face.

He froze for a split second before he eagerly pushed back, clenching the pool edges with his hands so hard his knuckles turned white. You were panting, moaning in his mouth as he pressed you harder against the edge, skin to skin, breath to breath, soul to soul.

Threading your hands to his hair, you grinded down on his shorts where he was already beginning to grow hard. Satoru groaned inside your mouth from your teasing but made no move to stop to – after all, why would he want to stop? It had been years, seven fucking years, and even you wouldn’t want to stop. It was wrong, it was dirty, it was immoral – but you needed this. You needed this more than ever.

Satoru’s hands tickled your waist as he squeezed them harsher than he intended, his calloused fingers travelling until he was kneading your breasts. You pulled away from him, head thrown back to rest on the edge.

And it was romantic.

The moon had never been so big, sprinkles of star shining in the vast darkness, the scene just perfect for two lovers in a getaway from the harshness of life. You knew it wasn’t real and the spell would break sooner than later, but did it matter? He rolled your beaded nipples into his fingers before he ducked down, lips suctioned to suck heavy bruises on the sensitive patch of skin on your neck that had you twitching in his hold.

Along with your moans, you cried harder. From heartbreak, from regret, from guilt; there was no turning back from this.

“Satoru, please, please, please. Make me feel better, make me feel good, I just want to forget everything.”

He nodded eagerly against your neck, letting your eager hands help him push his shorts down before his cock sprang free. His length grazed your lower abdomen for a moment, though he didn’t waste any time in entering your hole. You gritted your teeth at the intrusion, nails dug so hard in his shoulders that he bled.

The both of you had your foreheads connected, noses brushing and breaths mixing as you moaned and he sighed, eyes shut tight from finally being engulfed in your warmth.

“Right there, ‘Toru, oh fuck.”

“F-fuck,” he hitched one of your legs to wrap around his waist, “You’re still so tight after all this time,” Satoru praised, molding his lips with yours once again. He picked up his pace and watched as you desperately clung from one surface to another – his shoulders, his hair, the edge of the pool, flailing your arms each time his deep thrusts knocked the wind out of you – breasts bouncing as he bounced you on his cock.

“You look so fucking beautiful – my sweet, sweet angel. I missed you, missed you so fucking much.”

You didn’t say anything. No words were needed to be exchanged; actions spoke louder than words. At least right now, you could promise you wouldn’t lie.

Pulling him down for another kiss, you bit down on his bottom lip to muffle your moans, too speechless at each movement of his dick grazing past your walls. Fuck, he still felt so good, still knew your body way too well and your pussy hugged him so tight like you didn’t ever want to let go.

But you knew you had to, even as he came inside you and brought you back to your room, uncaring of the dripping mess you’ve both made before he locked the door.

You forgot how many hours you spent underneath him writhing in his bed. He took you each way he wanted – knees folded beside your head, on your side where he whispered all the filthy things he’d been wanting to do to you while he took you from behind, or your head squished on the pillow as he repeatedly smacked your ass, pulling your ass cheeks apart to praise you on how you took him so well. Satoru didn’t stop; you knew what you were getting into the moment you pulled him into you, that his sex drive was insane and he’d take long to tire himself out.

By the time the first shy fingertips of the sunlight extending across the horizon arrived, you were emptily staring at the window, Satoru fast asleep beside you.

It was time.

Silently, you pulled his arm away from you and quickly got dressed. He seemed to still be deep in slumber, and you carried the only bag previously packed with everything you might need. You were on the process of wearing your stilettos when he stirred awake, sleepily eyeing you from the bed you both devoted yourselves to in pleasuring one another.

“Where are you going?”

“Away,” you answered, tight-lipped. “From you.”

“Why?”

“Because…I lied,” you inhaled sharply, gloved hands frozen on the golden knobs.

Just open it, you screamed at yourself, walk away before it’s too late.

But you couldn’t move, pathetic that even after everything Naoya had worked so hard for, you still remained a slave to your past.

“No matter how much I hate everything you’ve done to me, I can’t bring myself to forget I once loved you. Maybe I still do – I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’m not as strong as I thought I was,” you cried, losing grip on the bag before it fell. You watched emptily as all the contents poured out – your money, your clothes, your phone, your ring – it all served as a reminder of who you were, of who you’d forgotten to be, of who you were supposed to be.

Your shoulders slumped in defeat.

“I don’t have enough strength to kill you.”

“Hey, angel,” he cooed, reaching you in three long strides before he caged you in his arms. Satoru was so warm, so strong, and the safety he provided you with only made you cry harder. You wanted to hate him, wanted to keep lying yourself since you’d been doing a great job at doing that for the past seven years, but it wasn’t that easy. Deep down…you still harbored the most miniscule affection, and that enough was capable of destroying you.

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” you whispered brokenly as you banged a weak fist to his chest, “Everything is wrong.”

Finavice Pharmaceuticals didn’t disappoint.

You were beyond impressed the moment you stepped through the door, a horde of eager chemists guiding you through the upper floors. Finavice was one of the biggest – if not the biggest – companies that were known for harboring the rarest or hard to get elements that not even you and Naoya could get your hands on.

Not by yourselves, anyway, so you took it upon yourself to strike a sponsorship to their research program in developing a cure to cancer under the guise of being an advocate to the improvement of the medical field.

Truthfully, you just wanted to please Naoya, show him you were useful and that he didn’t need to kill you. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and there you were, your prettiest smile plastered on as you scanned the towering buildings with unmasked interest.

“Here is the laboratory for the Finavice Pharmaceuticals where we test…”

“Mrs. Zen’in?”

The entire team stopped as a tall man, cloaked in a beige suit instead of a lab coat appearhed out of nowhere. Judging by how everyone had ducked their heads down and turned silent, you could only guess he must be the boss. Flashing your most charming smile, you hitched your bag higher up your arm. “Yes?”

“May I have a word with you?”

You fought the urge to sigh. His question was spoken much more of a statement that you weren’t really given a room to decline, and the young chemists gazed at you curiously under their lashes.

Not wanting to create a commotion that would lead into unwanted attention, you nodded, following the man through a set of double doors, guarded by two heavily armed men from the outside.

The man, who was Kento Nanami, the founder of Finavice himself leaned back into his seat as he made himself comfortable. “So you signed a contract with us two weeks ago to partner on our latest medicine, am I right? I’ve read over your proposals and I must say, they are rather interesting and innovative. I didn’t expect that a businessman’s wife would be a chemist who is interested in expanding to the pharmaceuticals as well. The Zen’ins has never been much invested in that.”

Gladly accepting the tea he’d slid your way, you made sure to clink the teaspoon against the porcelain as you played along. “People change, Mr. Kento. My husband and I’s goals are rather different from their former, traditional ones. Surely, steel exchange couldn’t support us for the rest of our lives.”

“I can’t say no to that. Kudos to you and your husband for your rather…ambitious shared goals then.”

Your hand froze on the utensil, and you narrowed your eyes at him in warning. “Are you implying we should not have trusted you with this, Mr. Kento?”

“No, I am merely letting you know that your act won’t fool me,” he chuckled, leaning forwards to rest his chin on his clasped knuckles, his blue eyes growing dark and serious. “I know what you and your husband’s family does. The Organization knows a lot more about your actions than you think you know we do. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re only here because we’re the only company who has access to an element you need for your drug, isn’t that the case, Mrs. Zen’in?”

Well…this was certainly unexpected. You’ve been effortlessly deceiving countless businessmen, government leaders and officials even, that this took you by your surprise. Two could play at this game.

Even if he saw through you long ago, it wouldn’t take much to grab his letter opener that was right beside you and puncture it through a jugular vein. If his guards came, you could easily take them down too. Today was one of those few moments you were thankful for Naoya’s hellish training.

But you didn’t want him to feel satisfied, so you leaned back into your seat and crossed your leg over the other.

“If you knew this whole time, why didn’t you kill me already? A lot of people wouldn’t miss the chance to do so.”

Nanami chuckled. “It’s because like you, I’m not just a pioneer. I, too, have my goals and loyalty laid out for someone else. Most specifically, the Organization, an international collaborative effort of stopping and reducing mafia movement for the safety of our people. Obviously, I’ve been assigned in the Yakuza Division, and it’s no coincidence I read through your file. You are, after all, one of our precious targets.”

You stared at him boredly. Why couldn’t he just get straight to the point?

“Is this a threat? I’m not sure it’s working.”

“Oh, no, I’m not threatening you,” he snatched your tea and took a long sip from it, and it was the first time you learned of his habit of concealing his curious gaze through drinking; a perfect act to seem inconspicuous.

“I am offering you a path to redemption. You may fool everyone, but I know an unhappy woman when I see one, Mrs. Zen’in, and I can tell you find no pleasure in the life you live – running errands for your criminal husband, constantly fearing for your life, wishing you’d just been a regular person like everyone else…” At the lack of response, he took it a gesture for him to continue, and he set the cup down, pushing his glasses right back up his nose. “The Organization has labeled you a target, but I think you’re more of a victim caught in a series of unfortunate events. I merely wish to save you from it.”

You guffawed in laughter at his last statement.

“You men really are ridiculous!” you slapped your palm on his table, losing every bit of that elegant composure to be perfected by a Zen’in wife. “Always preaching about saving me and protecting me – what actually are you pathetic losers even capable of?”

Much to your dismay, Nanami didn’t seem the least bit affected by your mockery.

“Please, don’t group me in with your husband and your former lover. Unlike them, I harbor no interest in you as a woman, I only want to fulfill my duty as an Agent and save you not because you’re a damsel in distress, but rather because…I could kill two birds with one stone,” his eyes shone in mischief, and you swallowed in discomfort as he gazed you up and down.

You’ve had enough experience with being seen as a meal, but this was different. Nanami was viewing you like you were a secret weapon he intended on using as much as he could to achieve his goals.

“You are a very convenient woman, Mrs. Zen’in. Similar to how your husband adores your abilities, I would like to take advantage of your connections. The only difference between me and them is that I can actually give you something money can’t even buy.”

“Such as?”

“A second chance at a normal life.”

“What makes you think I’ll accept your offer? I’m the wife of a mafia leader – my loyalty resides in him.”

“Only because you fear for your life,” he flashed you a red coin, crescents of a Latin quote scripted inside. Mori quam foedari – death before dishonor.

“Join the Organization, Y/N. With your connections, we could easily take down these families and protect the country. Hand over Satoru Gojo and Naoya Zen’in to us, and I promise the Organization will do everything in its power to give you the life you always wanted. A safe, normal one. No more worrying about being killed as you ride your car, no more beating yourself up as you make drugs to promise your usefulness to your husband and no more pretending you are someone who you’re not,” he flipped the coin between his fingers, and tantalized, you couldn’t keep your eyes off it. “Don’t you want that? You’d be able to live freely if you cooperate with us.”

You could hear the gears in your head turning. Part of you would’ve assumed this was a trap had you not known better, but Naoya taught you that if something was a trap, it would sound too easy, too good.

None of this was easy. It would require facing a demon from your past and handling things differently than what Naoya had planned, but that wasn’t the worst.

It was the fact that if you accepted, you’d have to come home tonight and lie in the face of your husband who could easily read through you. He smelled lies and treachery before you could realize you were even thinking of doing something, and knowing Naoya, he wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet between your eyes the instant he felt something was off.

But his offer… it was a risk you had to take. You wouldn’t ever get an opportunity like this again.

“Do you promise…that I’ll really go back to normal after this? That I won’t be involved in this mess anymore?”

“I can only promise that if you also promise to do your part. You see, I strongly believe you are the one that can put an end to this all. All you have to do is join us, and soon it’ll feel like this nightmare never happened at all. You’ll be free from Naoya Zen’in and Gojo Satoru before you realize it.”

You stared at his coin harder. Death before dishonor. This Organization he was a part of obviously didn’t fuck around, and it seemed scarier because they had their eyes on you for a while now. What were the odds they offered a deal instead of outright killing you, even going as far as to provide you a second chance at life, one that you genuinely wanted to enjoy? It would be a shame to say no, and even if the chances of this turning out well were low, you would damn well take it. A small chance was better than nothing.

“What do I have to do?”

Nanami grinned and pocketed his coin. “A very wise decision, Mrs. Zen’in,” he congratulated, “Please, meet me at my office tomorrow, eight on the dot. Oh, and remember, the Organization will now be watching you wherever you go. You’re one of us now.”

The next day, Nanami had cut your palm.

He spilled your blood into an empty metal casing with engraved letters, mori quam foedari, the phrase both comforting and ominous. Soon, you came home with your blood solidified into a coin to prove your membership and loyalty, that they quite owned you in more ways than one. Your blood meant your loyalty, and the coin felt heavy in your pocket with the implication it was also your blood they wouldn’t hesitate to spill should you betray them.

Mori quam foedari.

Death before dishonor.

Your life over Naoya’s, your future over Gojo’s.

The next few days had been tense. After telling Satoru everything down from the smallest detail, things had shifted between you. Quite frankly, you expected that maybe he’d kill you right then and there after explicitly stating that just because you couldn’t kill him, didn’t mean you wouldn’t turn him in.

“Angel,” he begged, “Will you never really give me the chance to do everything right this time around?”

However, you were too firm on your plans. You originally wanted to leave and go to the island yourself; it was easier to leave Satoru open and vulnerable for the Organization to attack him in your absence. He loved you, that was much clear, and if he looked for you, he’d make himself vulnerable to the Organization, but recent plans had to be altered now that he wasn’t willing to let go of you. Though no matter what he said, you valued your life and future more than you could ever love him.

It was an act of kindness to yourself.

“I don’t want this life anymore, Satoru. Either way, I don’t have a choice, not when I could die literally anytime before I could even say goodbye.”

It had been hours since ‘that’ talk and now you were on a plane back to Tokyo. You had to pull out some archives from Naoya’s files to know more about the island before you could visit it, and it was important for Satoru to know details such as security measures over there.

You’d long fallen asleep from exhaustion, bundled up in a fleece blanket while Geto glared at you.

“Are you sure about this, Sir? I think we should just keep her with us even if she doesn’t want to. The Gojo clan is powerful enough that no one would dare cross us. Not even this Organization she speaks of has ever done anything to us. Without her, they stand no chance against us,” he sat in front his boss and kept sending wary glances your way. “Letting her go like you did before wasn’t a good idea. She knows too much about everyone to live normally now. Do you really believe the Organization will protect her?”

“Knowing the strings the government could pull – and add on to the fact Nanami Kento, one of the richest men in this country works for them that it’s safe to assume each figure in them is a powerhouse – I don’t doubt their promise one bit.”

“But you’ll go to jail if you let her surrender you. Or worse, they’ll destroy the clan from the bottom up.”

“I know that, Geto.”

Geto groaned, brushing his hands through his hair from how indifferent his boss was being, drinking champagne as if he wasn’t willingly walking into his own death. “Then why aren’t you thinking more clearly about this? I understand you love her and you want to make it up to her, but we can’t let her do whatever she pleases! In order to keep herself safe, she’s going to sacrifice you! She’s dangerous, Sir, she’s been lying to her husband the whole time and who’s to say she isn’t capable of doing something worse to a stranger like you?”

“I told you already, Geto,” Satoru swirled the pink liquid in his flute, his face empty and unreadable. “I know.”

“With all due respect, Sir, I don’t agree with your decision. The clan would fall without you and you don’t have siblings or an heir. No one is powerful to hold the clan together aside from you so if you leave – there’s no more hope for us,” he sighed when Satoru didn’t budge. “I at least want you to reconsider your actions. She’s just a woman, Sir. It’s either we kill her or we imprison her. You let her go before because you believed she would be your downfall, and quite frankly, it’s happening all over again.”

Satoru gazed out the window, bringing the flute to his lips with a dark glint in his eye that Geto recognized meant trouble, or worse, an actual solution to this hellish situation.

“Which is why we’re going to pay an old friend a visit, Geto. There’s only one person who could turn the tables around.”

ADDITIONAL NOTE: TOJI IS COMING SOON!!! what are your theories on what might be on that island and *drum roll* WHO IS GOJO’S OLD FRIEND?! 

taglist open:

@tete027 @sixeyesgojo @shingekiyofeels @q-the-rockaholic @whatthefuckisthatthing @rogueofbullshit @kat-su-ki @kellyyween @sebootyforlife @asshxcm @charlie-xo @aoi-turtle @ladywaifuuwrites @savantsoulfinder @my-reality-is-in-my-head @hannya-quinn @90s-belladonna @tinyfrogsinmybrain @kinekyuroo @evesmores @ambiguous-something @lilith412426 @kakashiharusohma @aizawap @yumeneji @dora-the-grownup @jotazinha @themrsgojo @d34r-s4t4n @marai-t @toji-bee @hai-cool @badsadbby​ @stesphy @peach-buns-unicorns @misslezah @gracefullyfallinglikeanime @iwaplant @mikiminaccch @riri-marley​ | bolded users cannot be tagged

[darkandstormyart]

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

**

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

[lemonjoonah]

Blood Bounty - Part 3 (M) - Finale

Pairings: Yoongi x Reader, Taehyung x Reader, ft. Seokjin x Namjoon Word Count: 15.5K Rating: M Genre: Historical fantasy AU, Vampire AU, Thriller, Drama, Smut Warnings (CONTAINS SPOILERS): Dub-con (consent is freely given but the context is dubious), non-con vampire feeding, non-con kiss, unprotected sex, light bondage, oral sex (f. rec.), cum eating, pain during intercourse (don’t be like the OC here in the beginning and try to conceal it, you should tell your partner if something hurts), somewhat antiquated thoughts on virginity, virgin reader (it’s a flashback and there’s a small amount of blood...), death of major and minor characters, drugging (with vampire blood), murder, violence, blood, gore, sexism, blood slavery, kidnapping, captivity, forced marriage, manipulation, gaslighting, once again it’s some pretty dark shit, consider yourself warned.     

| Series Masterlist |

Summary: He’s taken everything from you, your blood, your memories, your life, and after months spent as Taehyung’s own personal feast, you eagerly take your chance to flee. Unfortunately your escape doesn’t go as well as you had hoped, as you are soon caught by another blood thirsty beast. The vampire Yoongi claims to know you, and that he wishes to return you home. But when you can only remember the pain caused by his kind, you find it difficult to trust him, since he too could just be another monster waiting to feed.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me through this mini-series. I truly hope you enjoy the end of this tale (and the hints to another separate series in the works 😉).

...

Your new stead is surprisingly responsive to your commands, possibly desiring to get as far away from the predators as you. Taking you down the road to the kingdom at a startling pace, causing several branches to whip painfully in your direction. When a stinging blow inevitably lands on your brow, enough to draw a spot of blood, you pull back on the speed of your mount. You are not so far now that you worry about making it back before nightfall.   

The route home becomes more populated the closer you get. For the first time in years you are among people like you again. Those who see you as just another person passing by, not a temping entree, nor a traveller to rob. Some even nod to you as they cross your path, you respond in kind, but keep your face hidden beneath the hood of your cloak.

Your first few paces inside the town comes as quite a shock. The notable gathering spots are even more vacant than they were during your nighttime strolls. With the stalls of the market bare, and so many businesses closed,  the only well occupied space appears to be the mounted boards on the end of every other street. You stop at one littered with official orders for curfews, new regulations, and missing souls. The most notable of all to you is the obituary detailing your brothers passing. 

You swallow back your grief, and proceed to examine the document claiming that he had died of a devastating injury and no more. It seems your parents will still not admit to any weakness that might carry in the family's blood. But with each stamped flyer, there’s been an addition made, one that was obviously not approved by the crown. 

‘The crown prince is dead, and our princess lost. If we let them rule any longer we will be next!’

You are stunned by the note, fearing how bad the circumstances must have become in your absence. Backing away from the board you prod your stead onward and in the direction of the public stables. Hoping to find the mount it’s own new home, while you return to yours.

“Three pence for a night,” The master grunts, looking up from his work as you dismount near the entrance to the paddock. 

“I have no coin, but-”

“No coin, no stall. Don’t waste my time and move along.” He interrupts before returning to shovelling the pungent manure.

You wrinkle your nose at the odour and persist in your efforts. “I was going to offer for you to take ownership of him instead. I have no use for him now.”

“Keep him? Tell me, how did you come to own this stead? Is it truly yours? ” He leers down, placing you beneath his scrutinous glare. “People don’t just give up a worthy horse. How can I know that there is not someone out there who will come looking for it and will blame me for their loss?”

“I can assure you the last owner will not come to retrieve him. Now do you want the horse or should I go find another who is willing to take my offer? Maybe that nice family there.” You point to a couple making their way into a nearby building. 

Your bluff calls his, leading the man to grimace and huff, “Fine. I will take it, now be gone with you.”

With the horse now tended to, you start to walk away, passing the entrance to the tavern, the door the mentioned pair just walked into. It’s hard not to take note of its current occupancy, for it is packed with people, all shouting and trying to have their say. With the entryway cracked open an inch you are able to catch several snippets of the debate.

“We can’t wait any longer. They are changing the narrative as we speak! Now stating they hold out hope for the princess’s return.”

“And what if she does?” A familiar man stands in argument. “Would you have us send the kingdom into turmoil when hope still exists? I would not be as I stand before you today without the surgeon she sent to us. A blacksmith cannot work without a hand. My wife and I would have been out on the street before long.” 

“Can you not see what they are doing for what it is?” The first speaks again to counter his point. “It’s a convenient ploy! With an heir lost, only the promise of another, with more favour than them will quell our anger. If she was still alive they would have found her by now.” He pauses to pat the smith on the shoulder. “I mourn her loss too my good friend, but we can’t wait for a small sliver of hope when we continue to live the way we do. Taxed within an inch of our livelihoods, while the list of missing continues to grow and those who are in charge hide behind their walls, keeping secrets that affect us all. If she returns we can offer her a good standing among us. But their rule must end.”

You edge closer and closer to the door trying to get a better view of the meeting in progress, when a throat clears and grunts, “Run along lad...” Nearly jumping from the fright you turn around to find the stable master having come up from behind. Bowing your head you comply, thankful that he had not realized the gravity of what you overheard. 

What had truly happened in the time you were gone? This isn’t just contempt but a full blown revolution building. Your people think you dead, and understandably so, but if they see that you are alive and well, maybe a better path can be found than one that will surely end in blood.

When considering your options you know there will be no way in through the front gates, your parents have always kept them heavily guarded, and no one will believe you are the child of the king and queen dressed as you are now. Rather than stir up trouble, you proceed to your fastest route in, the trap door hidden on the perimeter. 

In your absence it appears to have remained unused. The roots of the hedge have grown over, needing to be tugged out of place until the hinges and wood are freed from their grasp. You drop down into the passage, closing the hatch behind. With no light, nor lantern you are left to navigate the abandoned hall in the dark. The palm of your hand brushes against the damp stone wall, crossing cobwebs and critters on it’s trek to lead you to the portrait door. You try your best not to think of the time spent in this place, and the company you are now left without, but the sound of your steps resonates around you. Tricking your ear into thinking it a whisper of the past, as if his promises still remain locked away down here, echoing off the bedrock for you to claim.  

You are grateful when you finally reach the castle's interior, although for the time of day even the palace appears deserted and cold, you slip about the halls feeling like a stranger in your own home. Hoping to return to your old bedroom before you find anyone else, so you can at least reclaim another part of what you once were. But when you find the door and step inside someone is already there, crying at the foot of your bed. It’s too late to back away for they look up, just as startled as you. It’s your former lady’s maid who steps back from shock at your appearance, followed by a baffled stare when she catches a glimpse of your face.

“My word...” She gasps as tears continue to roll down her cheeks, “I never thought I’d see you again. He brought you back, I can’t believe he brought you back.” She runs forward wrapping her arms around you, a blubbering speech follows. “I’m so sorry, your b-brother... he’s gone. After everything that happened, everything you did, he’s still gone. An-and the threats to the crown, ever since his death everyone has been in an uproar. I haven’t dared to leave the grounds out of fear that someone will know I work here.” “It’ll be okay. We will figure this out.” You attempt to calm the maid you can only remember fragments of. She must have thought you had run off with Yoongi that night, but now is not the time to correct her with actual horrors you endured. 

“Having you back now will surely pull the king and queen from their stupor. They have been pleading and praying for your return.” She looks down at your clothes with apprehension. “Court is in session right now. They are locked away until a matter is settled, but we can ready you to meet with them once they are finished.” You nod prompting her to seek out your wardrobe. “I’ve been keeping them well looked after in case of your return.” She pulls out a dark dress, a sign of mourning for your brother. “I believe this will still fit. You don’t look to have changed much.” 

As she laces you in you can feel the garment tug on your ribs and chest. Maybe a little too small, but it will have to do for the time being. Once finished she escorts you to the dining room, while you continue to marvel at the empty halls. “Where is everyone?”

“Much has changed... your parents' fears have grown in the time you’ve been gone. They feel they can trust far fewer than they have before, and so, many of the staff were let go. If anyone ever even asked about you they too were sent away.” She stops at the set of double doors and urges you inside. “If you remain here and I will go and have the King and Queen informed as soon as the proceedings let out.” 

“Wait, don’t leave...” You were going to ask her more questions to address the gaps in your past, hoping you might stir more than a few moments you have of her and your life here, but she has already closed the door and departed. 

You are left in the dining hall, waiting only with the excessive spread of your parents forthcoming dinner. The feel of the room compared to the passage below is unfamiliar, unlike the dark narrow tunnel this place is void of memory and the feelings that come with it. You pray that such a disconnect will not last long. 

Mounted up on the back wall you find your family’s portrait. Staring at it at the faces and details, you remain so until slivers of the painting's creation surfaces in your mind. You hated that gown, for its rigid seams and heavy fabric took quite a toll as you stood there for hours behind your brother. He was seated due to his condition but you were told to stand and remain still, while the prince takes the forefront of the picture.

It had been made not long before you disappeared from the kingdom. You can recall dwelling on how little blood you had left, while the painter took your likeness. Your parents look so happy in the portrait, thinking their son to be healing and ready to take on the throne, while you spent the whole time daydreaming of Yoongi’s return.

Your anger spikes as you think of him now, it is beyond doubt that he has noticed your absence. You will have to warn your parents and their guard of his possible travel to the kingdom to claim you for his clan. The secret passage will have to be sealed, taking with it your hopes to ever leave again.

Grabbing one of the many decanters and with a shaking hand pour yourself a goblet of wine. Seeking to soothe your trepidation of meeting your parents, you sip on the bitter drink while picking at the food of the central spread.

The hours pass while you take your fill, until finally, when the sky has long been dark your mother hurries first. Looking exactly the same as she once did in your memories, frantic and worried. “Thank heavens you are back. You are safe, we are safe.” She looks down at you, her face unchanged with time, and the skin of the arms which clutch you... you stare at them for a moment, perfect and untouched, but you remember... you recall deep gashes and blood, so much blood pouring down your fingers. Disturbed by the thought you shake yourself from your horrific vision and smile back at her. Expecting her to launch into a flurry of questions but to your surprise, both her and your father pose no queries. 

“We knew he would find you again,” your mother cries with happiness. “We knew he would bring you back. The people, they will be so thrilled to hear of your return. The threats, the violence it will all be over soon.”

“You knew him? You asked him to find me?” The facts of her statement confuse you greatly, had they been privy to information your maid had not? For if she thought you were with him... what did your parents believe?

“My dear, are you well? Of course we did.” Your gaze once again focuses on the flesh of her forearms, as if entranced to the spot, while she brushes at your unkempt hair. Upon following your sight she pulls at the shawl of her dress in an awkward fashion, covering the length of her exposed skin. “Think not of what happened at our parting. All is well.” A painted grin plasters your mother's face. “We made all the changes necessary, you my darling, are to be next in line, not your children, but you. Your father had to work so hard to gain the approval of his lords, they thought it pointless to change the law in your absence, but here you are! Once your consort holds up the rest of his bargain your father will sign and you will be heir to the throne.”

This is all too much, you trying to keep hold of all the information while more is poured on to you. Unable to focus on anything other than their knowledge of Yoongi. Did they really meet him and make the request of him to bring you home? But to what bargain are they referring? “He did but I fear his clan has plans to remove me once again. We have to guard the old passage too, it’s already been nightfall for some time and I fear he won’t be far behind.”

“My poor girl... are you sure you are not ill?” Your mother’s head tilts in confusion. “He is already here, he has been for some time... you fled from his estate when he was just about to send for your return.”

You step away from your parents as fear tightens and grips your chest. “No, you can not mean. Not him, please not him-”

But your greatest nightmare returns to join you, with Taehyung waltzing through the double doors as if your parents castle is his own. “Princess, so good of you to join us. You shouldn’t have run off like that, you had your parents worried.” He approaches, inciting you to back into a wall in an attempt to keep your distance. Your parents don’t react with shock or fear at his sudden advancement on you, surely it is just a dream or vision then? One you are bound to wake up from soon. “But I knew you couldn’t run from me... only towards. Isn’t that right my sweet princess?” Though when his breath comes to find your ear you know him to be real. “I would have gone to find you myself, and take you back sooner, but your parents have been a rather large thorn in my side. Refusing to let me go until I-”

“And what of the other part of our bargain?” Your father calls from behind Taehyung, who grimaces and rolls his eyes at the interruption.

“They will be here shortly. My kin are acting on my behalf tonight, for I could wait no longer when I heard news of her arrival.”

“You have short changed us before,” the king admonishes. “I will not sign until I am certain the problem is dealt with.”

Taehyung turns from you entirely, the accusation leading him to snap back in anger. “That was your own doing, not mine, human. I gave you what you asked and you chose to squander it.” 

With Taehyung now focused on your father, you are ready to run, to seek anything you might use against him, but your mother catches you before you can take two steps. 

Shouting and jeering can be heard from just outside of the room, along with the heavy footfalls of several men, far too loud for what should be expected of the staff and guard. The procession outside bursts into the dinning hall. Your father’s lip curls ever so slightly as several men are pushed to their knees in front of him, muzzled and chained by the vampiric clan that restrains them. 

Taehyung introduces them with a proud and theatrical air, as he takes a seat at the head of the table.  “As you requested my liege, the leaders of the now failed rebellion.” 

You recognize many of them from the tavern earlier, even the blacksmith whose hand Yoongi saved long ago. Your father after taking stock, waves them away, ordering them to be held out of his sight, until a public execution can be arranged. 

You open your mouth to argue and condemn such brutal tactics when you are pushed down in the chair beside the monstrous vampire by your own mother. “You will sit still, be quiet, and do your duty for the family.” Despite her insistence your nails claw at her hold trying to free yourself from his side. As blood breaches her skin, so too does the memory of your first meeting with the vampire lord.

...

-Five years ago-

You look through the streets for hours hoping to catch even a glimpse or a whisper of Yoongi. Asking several people who pass you by, but no one knows of his whereabouts, nor has seen the distinguished surgeon in months. 

With the sun ready to rise, you retire from town for the night. Stripping from the simple dress, you toss it to the side and return to bed for the hour you have left to sleep. When forced awake by duty, your day ultimately passes with you a hollow shell. Barely able to keep your eyes open from lack of rest, with a gnawing disappointment taking root in your stomach, distracting you from much else. You tell your maid of your plans to venture out again to find him, but she looks concerned by the prospect. 

“You can hardly stand! What if, as a result of your current state, you cannot find him tonight? Your brother needs this and if you should fail... maybe we should tell the king and queen and let them put out a search for him?” 

“No, I must do this on my own. He would not want them to be aware of his kind.” You go to take the plain gown but your maid grabs it first. 

“I understand that you feel you must go. But please take an hour or two to sleep before you journey out. You look dead on your feet.” She does not relent, prodding and scolding until you are between the covers of your bed. “I will wake you once the castle is quiet enough for you to leave without being spotted.”

Nodding in agreement you submit to the coma of slumber rather quickly while she sits in the seat across from your bed. You wake hours later not by the hand of your staff, but from the hammering of rain pelting at your window.

You rise and call out, confused as to why she did not wake you earlier, but no answer responds. Lighting the candle on your bedside you find the chair empty of both her and the dress. You jump from your bed, in only your dressing gown and slippers reach for the door. When she bursts through it first, wearing the dress you intended to wear on the street. 

“Where were you? Why didn’t you-” 

“Princess, I found him!” Your lady’s maid exclaims happily, despite being absolutely drenched from the weather outside. “I went in your place so you could have more time to rest, and I found your friend, or I should say he found me.”

“You found him?” You breathe a sigh of relief, your brother is now safe and your plans with Yoongi can come to fruition. “Where is he now?”

“He’s with the king and queen.”

“My parents?”

“He wished to see them, mentioned something about desiring their permission. He’s already healed your brother, your mother and father couldn’t believe it.”  She grabs hold of your hand and pulls you from the room, not caring that you don only your bed attire. “Come! They are waiting for you.”

Still half asleep and only semi-coherent you allow yourself to be ushered along to your father’s den. There he sits behind a desk quill pen in hand, your mother hanging over his shoulder, and settled across from them both is... someone who is not your vampire, someone who is not Yoongi. 

The stranger smiles, showing off his sharp teeth as he gets up from his seat to deliver a sweeping bow. “Lord Kim Taehyung, at your service princess.”

You take a step back upon hearing the name that Yoongi warned you of so many times. “W-why are you here?” With concern immediately drifting to your lost vampire, for if his enemy has found you what could have befallen him.

Your mother scolds your response, “This man has offered his assistance, to aid in your brother's care, you will show him your respect.”

“It’s no matter,” Taehyung shakes his head at your mother. “Though I must ask, why do you look so scared princess? Your maid was looking for one of my kind, were you not seeking my help?”

“Is this true?” Your mother interjects, glaring at you. “You knew of people like him, those who could help your brother and you told us nothing?”

“I was looking for another,” you attempt to explain. “One who had been helping us in the past without your knowledge, he forbade me from revealing his kind to you.” 

“What did this other tell you of me?” The lord smiles. “I should like to set my story straight, because you, princess, looked ready to flee the moment you heard my name.”

“What is it that you want?” You ask again. If he refuses to answer your question why should you obey his own. “I thought your kind did not wish to reveal their existence to humans.”

“When the situation is as important as this, exceptions can be made.” The vampire justifies, a crooked grin refusing to leave his mouth. “I am only here to offer my services to your family.”

“We already have the services of another. He was doing so for years before you came here, he will help my brother should he need it in the future.”

“Then where is he now?” Taehyung asks the dreaded question which stabs at your heart.

“He will be back...” You retort, hoping it to be the honest truth. “We do not require your help.” 

Your father silences you with the stern call of your name and the hammer of his fist on his desk, before he too jumps into the argument. “I will overlook the concealment of your past acquaintances, along with the fact that you gave your brother treatment without our knowledge and consent. But I will not have you demean this man who just saved his life.”

“He is not a man!” You shout back at your king and father. “He is a monster. I have been told of his misdeeds, of his ethics. We can not trust him-”

“We have no choice! Without an heir the whole kingdom will become a place of ruin, an unclear line of descent will lead to chaos.”

“Then we wait. We wait for the one I can trust. He will be back soon, I know it.” Certain at least in this instance you know better than your parents, you plead for them both to listen.

“This is not a discussion.” Your father clarifies while the vampire takes out a bag, pulling from it two large corked bottles filled with a fluid far thicker than wine. “We called you here merely to inform you that we have accepted his services.” 

“This should be enough to keep him healthy for a long span of human life. It will heal most ailments, and injuries, and when enough is consumed will even slow the course of ageing.” You watch as the vampire's attention falls on your mother during his explanation, his lip curls even further when her eyes brighten in interest over the properties of the cure. 

You go to her, grabbing her arms so that she will focus on you alone, trying to convince her of the vampire's true nature. “This is a trick it must be. You can’t accept this, he will bring only ruin.”

“All that remains is the payment.” The Lord Taehyung adds, ignoring your plight.

Your gaze snaps back to him, when you hear of his charge. “What payment? What did you ask of them?”

“The cost for such a bounty of blood requires an equal sacrifice on your family's part.” The vampire beams with delight. “The blood needed for his life, in exchange for the blood of yours.” 

Your stomach drops when you see your father dip his head in confirmation. They already knew the cost and still they bartered you off without much thought. Your hands continue to grip your mother’s arm. “Please... please listen to me. It doesn’t have to be like this. There’s another way, there has to be.”

“There is no other way.” She responds, her tone cold enough to match her words. “It is time you stop living in your dreams dear girl, those books you cling to, those maps you draw, they will bring us nothing in the end. You have scorned numerous suitors in the past few months alone, leaving your father and I at wits’ end trying to secure a noble future for you. If you will not have that duty, you will take this. Better to have your hands stained with blood than ink if it will at least save our prince.” 

As she starts to push you towards your new fate, your fingers dig into the soft flesh of her arm, desperate to try and keep hold of your past life. Taehyung takes you by the waist and pulls you towards him leaving long lacerations down your mother’s skin as you continue to sob and beg for her to stop this. The thumb of your captor crosses your lips, bringing with it a metallic taste to your tongue. There’s a hushed order whispered in your ear to be quiet and complacent, and you do just that. Relaxing into Taehyung's arms while he carries you out and into a waiting carriage in the dark and drenched courtyard. 

Once out from the castle walls his slick smile falls. He may have taken your ability to speak, but not your tears will to flow. Pulling out a kerchief, he cleans your hands of your mother's blood. After removing every spot he lifts the fabric to his nose, and winces at the smell. “It is still amazing to me that one like yourself could be born of such soiled stock.” He then tosses the cloth out the window of the carriage. “That’s better.” His hand lifts up to the stream that continues down your cheeks. “Do not weep my princess. They may not see the same value in you that I do, but I promise we will prove it to them soon.”    

Angered by his declaration, you look away to the door, not wanting to give Yoongi’s adversary the satisfaction of your gaze. You knew you always weighed less in your parents mind. For you were second in their hearts even before your brother was conceived, second to the mere hope of a son. Swaying their love even a fraction in your favour was and is an impossible feat, a battle you could never win. 

“I know you wished to leave them, my kin intercepted a letter addressed to a royal who was willing to abscond with a vampire.” You look back at him with eager eyes. A letter? Yoongi must have sent word and this lord stopped it from reaching you. “I see that I have your attention now do I?” Taehyung scoffs and sits back in the carriage clearly enjoying your regard. “I knew of a woman much like you before I became what I am. I once travelled the land with a troupe. Entertaining both the nobles and the masses, while dressed in simple white garments, with only a tapestry as a backdrop, and the floor as our stage. It was invigorating, the life that came from holding the eye of the courts, and one lady... one princess in particular.”

Taehyung pauses to look back at your castle before continuing his tale. You can do nothing but sit there and listen, his blood and previous demands continuing to hold you in his custody. 

“She too was not content with the possible suitors before her, they could not offer her the multitude of lives she wished to live, but through narratives and plays I fulfilled that need. We could become whatever she or I wished ourselves to be. I was sure to see her as often as I could, but when her parents learned of our tryst, my group was banished, and she, to the bed of a neighbouring prince.” The vampire sighs as the story takes a darker turn. “I promised I would return to her when I could offer her a better home, but my cast and I, we ran afoul of a beast one night. When another caught the scent of our tragedy and found only me hanging by a thread, he took pity and made me one of them. I was so fearful to return to her at first, it took me several years to work up the courage and restraint before I could send her a letter begging to call on her again.” 

Now engrossed in the tale and the comparison of his story to yours. You stop an attempt to fight his will, too curious of the outcome.

“She agreed to meet, stealing away from the castle at night to find me at a nearby inn. It was my intent to flee with her that evening, to give her not only all the lives she had desired, but an endless supply of existence. What I did not expect was for her to deny my proposal. In the time I had gone she bore the prince a child, and no longer desired to part with her new role. I was not willing to accept her answer... lost in the heat of my anger and hunger for her, I took the princess with me. Draining her of life, I added her blood to mine.”

You stiffen in your seat wondering if this too will be your end, recalling a cautionary tale your mother used to tell you. The story of a noble lady, who was bled dry by the parasitic and sinful world outside. You thought back then it was her way to scare you into not leaving the protection of the castle walls, never did you consider it to be real, nor that she would be the one to give you to the monster of the fable.

“The smell and taste, I have not had anything quite like her since... until this night, when I caught wind of your own scent upon your maid's dress. I was already on my way to see you, but she made it so much easier, for she spoke on my behalf to gain my entrance. Such a sweet girl, and so very much in love with your brother isn’t she? A shame that she will likely feel the same pain as I once did, a love that crosses classes only to end in death.” 

Seething with rage at his confession, you wish to fight back and escape from his carriage but your own body will still not comply. You knew it, you knew he never intended to save your brother, he only wanted a bargain that would play in his favour. There is still a catch that remains unseen by you and your family, one that will result in the prince’s demise.

“They’ve hitched their kingdom to a dying horse, keeping it alive by selling off their only hope.” His finger follows the path of a tear down your jaw and falling to your collar. “I can promise you I will have far more roles and lives for you to play, more than you ever would have had with them. And you, you who have so much to give in return.” He opens his mouth, his breathing heavy as he leans towards your throat. “It's been so long since I’ve had someone of your calibre... I plan to savour you for far longer than the last.” Pushing you down, until you lie on the seat of the carriage, his teeth latch on, piercing the skin of your neck.     

...

You drop your mother’s arms, leaning back upon remembering the part she had to play in giving you away. “You forced me into his custody? You are the reason I was made to endure his torture.” 

“We had no choice. Your brother, he was dying.”

“And where is he now?” You shout back at them, all decorum vanished from the room. “You were given the cure, so why is my brother still dead?”

With that Taehyung smiles bringing light to the answer. “It would seem the temptation was too great for their own vanity. Even your lovely parting gift to her, erased by my remedy.”

The marks that should be on your mother's arms from your own assault, the ageing that should have become apparent since your last moment with them, none of it is there. All wiped away by the blood that would have given your brother a longer span of life. “You-you used it didn’t you... I should have known. It’s always been about appearances with you. Playing the strong hand to keep both me and your people in line. And when you ran out... you asked for more didn’t you?”

“He said he would keep our prince alive!” Your mother replies shaking from the accusation, but not denying it.

“I told you that what I gave you would be enough. It is not my fault that you chose to waste it.” Taehyung counters with a wicked grin, pleased by their faults and presumptions. “They let your brother die, not I.” 

“Then why return now? Why come if you already received what you wanted out of the deal?” You question fearing his answer, for what more could he want.

“I promised I would one day make them see the value in you.” Taehyung explains. “And there is always another bargain to be made.”

“With your brother dead and you gone we needed an heir.” Your father sets out his quill and ink on the table along with a rolled document he’s been clinging to. “It is as we feared what might happen. Our rivals at court have been stoking the fires of our people, without any official descendant they grow discontent and worried about the security of the country's future, we need you back.”

“Though you still belong to me as per the first agreement,” Taehyung interjects. “So you will return, the law will be changed, and you will become the next in line instead of any child you might have produced. With me by your side, living as husband and wife, the future rulers of this kingdom.

“I won’t allow this.” You shake your head aghast by the thought of such a deal. “First you give him me, and now your people?”

“Those people are currently rallied against us, they would see the end of us if they could. You witnessed the proof.” The king gestures to the floor where the captured were held just a moment ago. “We need assistance in controlling them.” 

“Because you’ve given them nothing to stand behind! Instead your first instinct is to feed them to a beast. Why do you still trust this monster? He will double cross you, my brother, your son is already dead, don’t let him take any more!”

There’s a knock on the door with the return of Taehyung’s vampire kin having stowed away the prisoners. He bids them to enter, while your father looks on somewhat ruffled by the impermanence of the lord’s comfort in his own home. “My part of the deal has already been given, they cannot back out now. Unless they would like those rebels to return to their people?” 

The king shakes his head. Dipping the feathered pen he signs the parchment, and hands it off to the vampire lord. 

“Thank you for your cooperation my liege...” Taehyung bows his head as he takes the paper, passing it off to one of his clan, before returning his unwanted attention to you again. “Your parents will live out the remainder of their lives as king and queen. As long as I can assure that their people will not revolt while they live. The throne will pass to us, and your people to mine.” He tilts up your chin, his thumb crossing over the small scratch on your forehead from your travels. Dipping his finger in your goblet of wine he touches the cut again. The familiar itch of healing skin crosses the surface of your brow. Your stomach turns with the knowledge of what you unintentionally consumed. “It’s a shame for them though...They won’t live long enough to see the benefits of my work here.” With the brush of his hand he gives the order to his clan, “Kill them.”

Your parents both stand in alarm, attempting to reason with the monster before you. “No, you swore-” 

“That I would keep you safe from your people, not that you are protected from myself or my kind.” He addresses his fellow vampires once again, “If you insist on feeding on them do not do it here. I find their smell distasteful and I would rather not lose my appetite.” 

His progenies take hold of your parents, dragging them away. They scream for their guards, but when no one comes to their rescue they call for you next. Pleading with you so that you might speak up on their behalf, with all dignity lost while they come to face their own mortality. You remain silent, any words frozen inside out of fear and hate. Your last duty to them would be what they always asked of you, to be quiet and still, until their screaming comes to an abrupt halt as they meet their end.

Now alone Taehyung rises from his chair and lifts you up onto the dining table, locking you in with his arms on either side. “I told you I could give you so much more than them, didn’t I promise you that? Do you remember?”

“I never said I wanted it from you.” Your furry has reached a new level, overwhelmed with contempt towards Taehyung, your parents, and yourself for not remembering sooner. “You believe their deaths will give you the kingdom? You forget that you had them sign it off to me. I will never consent to marrying you, and we both know your blood will not force me into such a binding contract. It's why you had to make deals with my parents is it not? Compulsion will not work when it comes to such bonds in ink, and you have nothing left to play in order to sway me.”

“Such a smart girl,” Taehyung coos, while brushing the side of your face. “However, it is not I who has forgotten but you, for I have already won that battle too. Here...” He takes a swig of the wine, and firmly grasps the back of your neck. Pushing more of the drink between your lips with his, Taehyung forces you to choke it back and drown in your own past. “Let me help you remember, my princess... my bride...” 

...

- 4 years ago -

You open your eyes, to be greeted by unfamiliar surroundings. A soft bed beneath you, lying between warmed sheets with a handsome yet concerned looking man sitting at your side. 

“Thank heavens you’re awake. You took quite a fall.”

You lift a hand to your head trying to dull a sharp ache in your temple. The man leans in closer without hesitation, an action which surely indicates a close tie with you, but you have no memory of him. His hands are cool yet you welcome them on the side of your face, for they diminish the pain. “I don’t remember-”

“It’s okay my princess. I'm glad you are saved from the trauma of reliving that event.” He comforts you with a boxy smile, that doesn’t quite reach the sadness of his eyes.

“No, not just that, I mean I don’t remember... I don’t remember you, where I am, nor why I am here.” You strain to recall your most recent past, everything seems so long ago. There are glimpses and fragments of moments and people which you manage to pull forth, your parents and their rule, your brother and his suffering, your castle and it’s cold walls that once surrounded you. The loneliness of your past brings a tear to your eye for it is all you can recall. Everything about this man before you seems to have vanished from your mind. 

“No, no, no, don’t cry.” His expression falls, as his hand shifts to wipe beneath your eyes, he swallows his shaking breath in clear distress over your loss. “I promised that I would look after you, that I would treat you well. Your parents, what will I tell them? They will rightfully blame me for letting you get hurt like this.”

The fear and sadness strewn across his handsome face is more than you can bear. You reach out a hand to his to comfort him back. “Could you remind me of your name sir?”

“Taehyung, and please don’t be so formal. There’s no need with me.”

“Then our relationship to each other...”

He takes your hand, tracing your fingers with his, before planting a kiss on your fourth digit. “We have been promised to one another. Your parents agreed to let you leave your own kingdom to be with me.”  

“Oh god, I’m so sorry... I don’t remember, I don’t remember anything. I can’t-”

“It’s okay my princess. It’s not your fault, but mine. You were hurt under my care. I’ll help you to rebuild what we have. We’ll start from the beginning, if we have to. I just can’t endure the thought of losing you entirely. Please just tell me what you need, whatever I can do, it will be done. I will help you to fall for me over and over, if it means I can continue to be with you.”

...

Taehyung spends the nights alongside you tending to your every desire, reciting poetry and plays to keep you entertained while you remain on bed rest for your injury. You feel bound by his kindness, and so guilty for not being able to recall your own past together.

During the day he is forced away from your side. He has a demanding role filled with travel and responsibilities, your only hope is that when he deems you well enough, you will spend that time together too. That you will be able fulfill this building desire within, to go out and journey for his role together.  

But the weeks pass with no change in your situation.

Until one night when it all becomes too much to conceal. When left by his caretakers to bathe, you dissolve into sorrow over the fact that your loss of memory is holding you back. Your wedding to him was to be days from now, but he has called it off until you can recover what you lost. Your wracking sobs echo through the empty room as you commiserate alone. Questioning what you could possibly do to dispel this suffering. 

You did not expect the sound to summon Taehyung, who comes bursting in without thought to your current state of dress. “Princess I-I...” He stops in his tracks and turns on his heel, shielding his eyes from your nude form. “Forgive me, I was not made aware that you were bathing.” 

You press yourself to the side of the tub. Shy at first but when you find him more so, you beckon him over, just as he is about to reach for the door. “No wait, don’t leave. If you go I fear I will only feel more guilt over our situation.” 

“Guilt? To what shame are you referring? Have I not made you comfortable here? Do you not have everything you need?” Taehyung abides by your call, joining you beside the tub, and swallowing as he glimpses you in the water.

“I do, and that is the issue. I remember nothing other than your care and kindness. You have given me everything you can, and I have nothing to grant you in return.”

“That’s not true-”

You press a damp finger to his lips, urging him to let you finish. “Despite not having a memory of our past, there is this need inside me... it’s difficult to express, but it calls out for someone like you. I do not wish to continue this cautionary stance, waiting and hoping for something that might not return. I do not want to hold us back. I think we should still marry, for I cannot see my life in any other way.”

Taehyung gives you a small smile along with a kiss to your hand which still lingers near his mouth. While his own reaches into the tub, his fingers twirling in the water just above your leg. “There is still much you don’t know about me.”

“Then I will learn it as it comes. Please, I long to move past this. I cannot and will not remain in this present, with you restraining yourself because of me. I truly believe that moving forward with the original plan is the best course of action.” 

“If that is what you desire,” He the tips of his fingers submerge further until they draw against your thigh. “I will resume the plans between you and I.”

...

The ceremony is modest, with only you and Taehyung reciting your vows under the night sky. After signing a document to confirm your ties, he whisks you off to the bedroom to consummate the new promise between you. 

The strength of the man before you comes as quite a shock as he rips the laces of your gown in his eager hunt to find the flesh beneath, until your best dress soon lays in tatters on the floor. His hunger for you appears to reach a new level, with his mouth nipping and devouring every inch he has exposed. Your situation has held you both back for so long, but at least now you will both get to revel in the path forward together. 

Once bare he flips you on to your stomach and disrobes himself. His taut legs come to straddle your hips, while his hands run up your back and down your arms. Taking your wrists he pins them over top of your head. “Just a precaution my princess,” He chuckles your ear as his leather belt wraps around. Tightening them together before the strap loops the headboard and is once again threaded through the buckle, wittingly securing you to the bed. “For if I am worried over the possibility of you fleeing, I might lose myself, and consume too much of you.”

“I have no plans to run.” You muse, giggling at his passion.“But I will concede to your bondage if it satisfies you.” 

“I was hoping you would agree.”  He teases his index along your slit, drenching your sensitive skin, and preparing you for his swollen cock. You raise your hips eagerly towards him and he takes the hint. Laying down over top of you he guides himself in with one hand while the other loops your waist. 

You gasp from the stretch before gritting your teeth trying to hide the brief moment of pain. Taehyung swears as his forehead comes to rest on your shoulder, his breath shaking as much as yours while he inhales deeply. A growl echoes in his throat which he promptly clears. “Princess, am I... am I your first?” There’s a hint of surprise in his voice, but you can not understand why that would be so.

“If I was promised to you... I can not see why I would have laid with another.” You answer somewhat hurt by the notion that he thinks you would have been unfaithful in the past. Your memories might be limited, but you can not believe that would be the kind of person you are, to be unfaithful to one so kind would make you a monster.

“Yes, of course.” He sighs, “I just, I had not...” He empties his throat again. Hugging you tightly as he pushes his cock in further. “My dear princess, so good to trust me with such a gift.”

You exhale with a confirmation. “I am all yours.” 

With Taehyung resting deep inside he pauses for another moment. His fingers trapped between you and the bed shift down to your mound where they press and cause you to buck back onto him. “Forget the pain for now...” He whispers in your ear while the deep circles he rubs shift you from discomfort to pleasure. Your twitching responses beguile him as you clench down on his shaft. The growl in his voice returns and grows deeper, he thrusts along with you. A need inside your start to build, your breathing stutters while he continues on. “...And come for me.”  Your nerves reach their peak at his words, holding you in place until the tension inside you finally releases and the warm waves run from head to toe. 

As you ride out your climax Taehyung pushes forward with his own. His cock continues to swell, demanding more of you, until he comes to his end and collapses twitching with content. With a groan he wraps his arms around you and nuzzles your back, while you remain trapped beneath him.

You tug on his belt wanting to touch him and hold him as he does to you. But even once he has come himself, he does not appear to be fully parted from his lustful needs. He shifts down so that his face can be found between your thighs. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you inquire for him. “Taehyung, please-”

“Don’t fret my princess, I just- I just want to- there was some blood drawn in my haste to have you, I would like to kiss it better.” He chuckles before his tongue comes to find your folds. The beastly sounds from him become far greater than before as he laps at the spot. Your hesitation is cast aside as you soon delve into pleasure once again. 

His fingers clamp down on your legs as he feeds from your cunt with an even stronger resolve. “I must- I must have more.” He begs of you.        

“I am yours to take.” You respond, eager to indulge more from his affectionate appetite.

But as soon as your permission is granted an unimaginable pain pierces the skin and muscle of your thigh. His mouth latches onto the source of such misery, and draws on the wound taking deep drafts. “Taehyung?” You cry out in confusion, pulling the bonds he left you in. 

Your lord and husband suspends the act. Rising up to release you from the headboard, he takes your restraints in his hand. Flipping you back over and pinning you back down beneath him. You find your groom smiling while his mouth drips with blood. He chuckles lightly at your horror, taking in your fear. “Did you have a change of heart my princess? I’m sorry to have brought such a swift end to our happy scene, but tomorrow we may start over... once I’ve had my fill.”

...

After the first Taehyung proceeds to push upon you several moments wrought in passion and pain. The concealment of his identity to become your love, and of course the times when he chose purely to torture you as your captor.   

You come to understand that your past with Taehyung is a series of tales, with him portraying the villain, or the hero. Going from captor, to suitor, to husband, only to break you by becoming your captor once again. He’s crippled you countless times, in so many different ways, choosing whichever act suits him in the moment, gorging himself off your emotional defeat the same way he feeds your blood, in the most painful way possible. 

“A small sample of our time together, but you see princess, you are already bound to me in matrimony. I have what I need for my clan. My followers will have access to any house, any dwelling on our kingdom’s land once I give them my consent to enter.”

“Y-you have no right to do that!” You stutter, trying to push down the past to focus on the present. 

“Oh but I do as your husband, as the new king I now have partial claim. My men will be able to feed within the safety of your peoples homes. Hunting them in their beds will be far easier than being restricted to the streets.”

“They are not cattle for you to feed upon!”

“How is that any different than your family's rule?” Taehyung scoffs, looking to the ornate room around you both. “Your parents in their vanity and greed bleed them dry, to the point where they were begging for a change, even if it was the rule of a young man who had barely stepped into adulthood. They will be grateful for the passing of the king and queen, and for the new rule. Remembering the vampires who will now stalk them while they sleep only as a passing nightmare.” 

“That does not make what you are doing any better.” You argue, though you know it to be pointless. 

“Not in your eyes, but my people will at least benefit from the sacrifice of your own. They trust me to do right by them. Can yours say the same about you? Will you bear the pain of your suffering and theirs? All that’s left is for us to choose which story we should play next. Would you like to forget it all again? To have me return to the role of doting lover and husband? Or would you prefer to recall that which has brought you pain? Your parents, your brother, and myself, knowing that soon my people will feast on yours.” 

To remember would be the only chance you have in finding a weakness to him, any attempt to remove him from his position will require your knowledge of what happened in the past and what is happening in the present. Who knows what story he would otherwise weave next, but he will no doubt pull the wool over your eyes if you let him. 

“I will give you until the end of this night to choose, if you don’t I will do so for you. But I am so very ready to return to our routine. These past few weeks have been a torment without you to entertain and fulfil me.” His finger traces an x on your neck, marking the spot he intends to bite. “I will never again allow us to be parted for so long.”  The point of his teeth make contact with your skin, when the door opens and one of his keepers calls for him. “What?!” Taehyung shouts back in frustration. “What could possibly be so important that you must interrupt my dinner?” 

“There is a hunter demanding entrance at the gate.” The vampire informs, looking rather shaken for having displeased his lord. “Says he won’t leave until he sees proof that you received your princess. It seems that he was trying to deliver her when she ran off in the daylight earlier today.”

“So someone did find you... that would explain...” His hands soften on your neck running his fingers over the previously tortured flesh. He then turns to the vampire waiting for his answer. “What is the hunter’s name?”

“Agust, my lord.”

Your head snaps up with your eyes wide. Yoongi is here, and he knew to call himself Agust? That can only mean, the secrets kept from him by his clan, the truth that would break you, it was the knowledge of Taehyung’s presence here.

  “Is this the case my princess? Did this Agust find you and intend to bring you here?” You bite your tongue but he pushes his power over you again. “Tell me the truth of this matter.”

“He did.” You can’t be sure of what Yoongi intends to do once inside, but at least your forced honesty did not betray his cover.

“He has my permission to enter. Bring him to me now, I owe him my gratitude for taking such good care of my princess.” The vampire guard leaves to grant the other access. 

Taehyung traces his teeth with his tongue. Appearing unusually happy despite the fact that his meal was disturbed. “You will remain seated and quiet, while I reward this hunter for his deeds, is that understood princess?” You reluctantly nod, submitting to his compulsion. 

Yoongi, accompanied by four of Taehyung's kin, enters the dinning hall and promptly bows. “My lord.”

“Agust... I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of speaking before have we?” 

“No my lord, I’ve dealt only with your keepers. But it was my honour to retrieve your princess as requested.” You meet his eye when they flicker in your direction trying to decipher his plan, but are unable to see a way out that could have possessed him to take such a risk.

“Yes, I must thank you for bringing her most of the way. I am surprised that you knew to find me here though, I thought that was kept confidential from the hunters.”

“It was my lord but I learned of your occupation here only recently, such a large group of vampires in a human city does not go unnoticed for long.” 

“Then I commend you, for doing what many of my other hunters could not.” Taehyung smirks at his own kin’s expense. “Tell me who was your maker, from which line do you descend?

“Your caretaker Egan, my lord.” Yoongi offers, his tone flat and even. “Though I don’t know if he would recall me, I am one of many.”

“Egan you say?” Taehyung pauses, with a raised brow and pout, which soon fades into a smile after a moment's hesitation. “He has created a fair few hasn’t he?” He chuckles. “Now you were not able to finish my task to completion, but I will still grant you the reward of becoming a keeper if you can complete just one other challenge.”

“Of course my lord.” Yoongi promises, watching adamantly with his hand twitching at his side. 

“There is someone I need you to find, one who has been haunting me for quite some time. Before my princess met me she fell in love with another of our kind. A vampire who works for Lord Hoseok, and goes by the name Min Yoongi. It took me a year to find the full extent of the boundaries in her memory that relate to him, I needed to empty her of love for that fool, and take it for myself. I was successful in the end of course.” He tips your chin with his finger delighting in the pained expression you bear at the thought. “But I would like to see the end of him, and purge anything that might hope to take her from me.”

“I understand...” Yoongi responds through a clenched jaw. Peeking a concerned glance at you when Taehyung's back turns to him. 

“I think she might be able to help you start your quest. You know where to find this Yoongi, do you not my princess?”

You dip your head, as a tear slips from your cheek and falls to your lap. You bite your tongue in an attempt to hold back your answer but Taehyung presses again with the compulsion of his blood. “You will answer me, out loud.”

“Yes,” you confirm,  your eyes meeting with Yoongi’s again, pleading for him to go now, and escape before you reveal anything else. 

“Do you think it will be an easy task for this vampire Agust to find him?” 

“I do.” You utter with a reply stolen from your lips.

 Taehyung mutters in your ear for his final question. “Is he the one who stands before us now my princess?” Panic instantly seizes you, with every function of your body coming to a halt, wondering how he could have found out. The moment your mouth starts to open, Yoongi launches himself at Taehyung, but his attack is quickly brought to a halt by the vampire lord who draws his own stake. Shoving Yoongi across the room and into the arms of his guard.

“You thought you could fool me after so many of your brethren tried and failed?” The cruel lord chides with a low chuckle. “There have been too many errors on your part, the greatest of which was the name of your false creator.” He approaches his new prisoner dragging the point of the stake along Yoongi’s chest while he is held in place. “A misstep of Egan’s allowed for her to escape, and so I sent the order for him to be disposed of. I knew the deed was done mere hours ago when I watched a progeny of his wither away before my eyes. If you were of his blood you too would have perished.”  Taehyung explains before he paces away twirling the stake between his fingers. “What a wicked curse we must endure is it not? Though it does have its advantages... I wonder how many will I wipe out with your death?” Your heart beats wildly in your chest longing to run forward and prevent such an event. “It will come soon, of that there is no question, but not before I take every ounce of information you hold about Hoseok’s current plans.” 

“You will get nothing from me unless you let her go,” Yoongi growls.

“Let go of my own bride?” The restrained vampire flinches at the comment as Taehyung grins and prods further. “I suppose you didn’t know. You must forgive her for not informing you, she couldn’t recall it herself until a few minutes ago. Regardless, I have no plans to free her, for I believe the closer I am to your beloved the more I will get from you.” Taehyung joins you at your side again.  “What do you think princess? Would you like an admirer for our performance? I’m sure even the steadfast Min Yoongi would bend to my will if he witnesses you in my favourite roles.”

Taehyung’s attention is drawn away from the pair of you when more of his keepers enter the room greeting him with a nod. “Alas the show will have to wait. I have permissions to grant, and a story to feed your staff,” The vampire lord sighs and acquiesces to their needs, grabbing the decanter from which you took a glass. “The rest of your people will come after.”

Taehyung gestures to one of his men. “He will take you to your room, and you will remain there until I return. I look forward to having a more fulfilling reunion between you and I come dawn.” His fingers brush against your cheek one last time before addressing the vampires holding Yoongi. “Keep him locked up along with the revolutionaries for now. I will call upon him later.”

Yoongi continues to lash out as you are both dragged in opposite directions. Barring his fangs at those who hold him, but he is soon subdued with the addition of another clan member and carried out of sight. 

Your own escort doesn’t say a word as he takes you through the empty halls, and staircases with one hand grappling your upper arm. Any attempt to pull it from him is met with a snarl and tighter hold. As you pass the rooms of the hall you wonder where Taehyung has the remaining staff kept and despite the lies forced down their throat you hope they will remain untouched.

The guard opens a door and pushes you in, sending you to the ground before locking it behind. The dimly lit room is unfortunately not your own, consisting only of a bed, washstand, and shuttered windows. Rising from the timber floor you find a stain on your hands and dress originating from the spot on which you landed, a spill, red enough to be the remnants of a vampire's meal. You start heaving at the thought, running to the filled basin desperate to remove the sticky scarlet substance. With hands shaking as they are submerged in water, your entirety follows suit, quaking in fear of what has just transpired and what is left to come. 

Your parents are lost, they dug their own grave, but your fellow citizens, and Yoongi... you have to find him, before he too is lost and your people are reduced to a mere spattering on the floor. 

You pull on the shutters of the window, releasing them to peer out and see if there is any hope to scale out of this one too. The height from the ground might be manageable, but a pair of glowing eyes looking up to you from the garden stops your attempt. The gaze from below continues to watch until you retract and close the space between you again. Taehyung's caretakers and keepers are as eager to keep and feed on you as he is. Visions of past attacks start to flood your mind, making you regret your venture to look out. You tried to escape so many times in your past captivity. Each one with the exception of the last was foiled by his keepers or caretakers, some brought you straight back to your room, while others... others were swiftly intercepted by the lord of the fortress, but only after they landed their first bite.  

Retreating to the corner of the room, you set yourself down at the furthest point from the door and window. Left alone to stare at the crimson puddle, as you wait for Taehyung’s return. There is no question that you have to bear the weight of your memories as painful as they are, you can not afford to forget the past. Not now, not with Yoongi nor your people in jeopardy. You wonder if Taehyung will strike such a deal with you. If you promise to abide by his command without his blood, will that be enough to buy at the very least Yoongi’s safety?

The minutes pass while you consider your options, distracted only when there comes a thump from the shutters. You rise from your spot and move closer to the door. The boards made to conceal the daylight shatter inward with another hit, knocking over the solitary candle and casting you into darkness. The shadowy intruder leaps in, their gleaming eyes holding you in their sights. 

Figuring it to be one of the Taehyung’s progeny’s come for a taste, you draw breath to scream. Until the vampire collides with you, holding you down, and covering your mouth. 

“I told you to stay in the room.” The hushed tones of Yoongi greet you to your immense relief. “Why didn’t you listen to me? Why did you run?” He waits there for a moment, removing his hand only when you finally relax beneath him.

“Yoongi...” You gasp in relief. “I overheard you and Seokjin. When I saw you give into the demands... I-I didn’t know, I didn’t realize-”

There’s a knock interrupting your explanation, the vampiric guard no doubt alarmed by the commotion. You both fall silent, but that does not seem to satisfy the sentry,  who proceeds to unlock the door. Yoongi jumps up ready to meet him with a stake. As the barrier opens, the vampire tries to step inside, making it only far enough in for the wooden weapon to reach his heart. Yoongi grabs the enemies throat in the last moments, committing him to silence until death before tossing the corpse to the side. Treating the newly dead as nothing more than a bothersome distraction. 

Yoongi turns back to you but keeps his distance, a growl rattling in his throat as he takes deep breaths. “I told you before, I would never take you there. I had no wish to abide by the request from my lord. I could not tell Seokjin of my plans to disobey while we remained in his house. I was going to take you as far away as I could after learning the whole truth behind your capture, but your stunt put everything in jeopardy, including yourself.”

You start to sob upon hearing his deception, you should have guessed that with such a reveal from his own clan he would try to deceive them too, like the others he dealt with on your behalf. He closes the gap between you, pulling you in close, allowing your tears to fall on his chest. “How-how did you escape just now? I thought for certain he had us both in his grasp.”

“I kept hold of the tainted blood, and those holding me were in desperate need of a drink. One sip and they were at my mercy instead.” He lips grace the top of your head with a kiss as you cling to him. “We’re going to get you out of here okay? We’ll go down to the passage. I have already released those he captured, if he has a mob on his hands, we might slip out undetected.”

“I can’t leave, not yet-”

“Why, because he compelled you to stay?” Yoongi questions, attempting to dismiss your concern. “I will carry you out if your own volition fails to do so.”

“It is not that alone... he was not lying when he told you I was his-his-” You stall on the word unable to say it yourself. “In those five years, he played with my mind, he made me forget you and desire him instead, a-and I fell for it. It is because of me he now has a claim to every home in the town. This is my error to fix. I will not leave those who dwell here to feed his own.”

“You are not to blame for his actions.” He counters, his own voice cracking in desperation.  “Your remaining here will not change that.”

“I only wish to remain so I can bring an end to him, to kill him.” You promise. “Either way, whether successful or not I will not exist here long.    

“No, I am not letting you near him again. If we must do this then let him be mine to kill.”

“He thinks me in here unarmed and broken to his will,” You open Yoongi’s jacket to find another stake that he must have stolen from Taehyung’s followers. “I will have a better chance. It would be better for you to ensure that his clan has not brought harm to anyone else.”

“And leave you here to face him? If he falls so do his own progenies, which includes most if not all of his keepers. There will be no point in my leaving to dispose of them, if your main goal is to defeat him.”

“If he sees you he will be instantly aware. When he is as strong as you say then even you won’t be able to defeat him without catching him off guard.”

“I am not leaving you alone with him even if you are armed, and that is final.” Yoongi takes his firm stance, while grabbing at the stake in your hand. “I will not lose you again...”      

You look down at the deceased on your floor, fearing the same fate for Yoongi should he remain here with you. Taehyung has proven time and time again that none can fool him for long, not Yoongi, not his clan members, even those who disobeyed him attempting to draw blood from you were cast aside... with Taehyung throwing himself between you and them.  “If you will not leave then... I need you to bite me.”

Yoongi follows your gaze in confusion, “What is it you are plotting your highness?”

“He will no doubt come running if he smells my spilt blood. He has before. If he thinks I am in danger from his own, I will be able to get close with his guard down.” You take the stake back from him while he considers your plan, gripping it in your fist behind your back. “All you have to do is play the threat.”

“Will you not wait for another alternative? My clan could be here in a day to deal with them.”

“He is hungry, and all too confident of victory.” You plead with your vampire. “If we wait-” 

“If we wait he will be more likely to catch on...” Yoongi growls confirming your thoughts, as he begrudgingly bends down to take the cloak of the defeated guard. Tying it around he pulls the hood over his head. “This is unbelievably reckless you know. I should just take you from here this instant.”

“But you won’t.” You reply with a sad smile reaching up to touch his cheek with your hand, and press a kiss to his lips. “You long for an end to this as much as I.”  

With his back to the door he takes you into his arms. When hunched over you Taehyung should not know who he is until it is too late. Yoongi places his mouth ready to sink into your neck. “Are you sure you want to be the one to-”

“I have to.” You cut him off before he can even try to change your mind again.

With a deep sigh his teeth pierce your skin, the blood starts to flood from the wound and Yoongi lets out a low pained groan as he resists the urge to feed. For the more blood that escapes and is left to the air, the sooner that Taehyung will come running to investigate your situation. After a minute passes, you start to feel light headed and grip your weapon tighter. 

“If he doesn't come soon I will have to put a stop to this.”

“He will come,” you gasp. “Just wait.” 

Right on cue there comes a shout from down the hall along with the thunder of footsteps. Your door crashes open to reveal the ferocious monster. 

Yoongi is thrown to the wall, and promptly disregarded in the moment by Taehyung, whose immediate attention is more occupied with you spilling out before him. “She is mine,” he seethes looking ravenous after not feeding on you for weeks. His hunger distracting him from the arm you have tucked behind your back. While pulling you closer to take a taste himself, you draw your own weapon, stabbing him through his heart with the stake. 

He looks down to injury with a sobering disbelief, his words heavy on his lips with a low chuckle as he forces out his final thoughts before his demise. “Well played princess... you had me thinking I was to be your hero again.”

“You were never my hero, only my assailant.” You shove the stake deeper into his chest. “And now my fatality.”

Taehyung gasps and delivers one last cruel smile. “A fitting end, though I can think of one better. Why part here, when you can join me in death.” He launches at your throat ready to strike and bleed you further, when his actions are cut short by another. 

With the stake pulled from the other vampire, Yoongi pierces him through the back, and takes hold from behind preventing Taehyung’s last threat. The vampire lord's eyes go wide showing a brief moment of fear before he finally succumbs to death. Pulling yourself from his clutches you take a deep breath and rejoice in the freedom, though the feeling doesn’t last long. 

Already dizzy from the loss of blood you are in no way prepared for the surge of memories that flood back. With Taehyung dead his physical hold on you diminished, but the pain of his manipulation, the trauma and loss he has inflicted on you hits as a wave, and pulls you under. 

Yoongi is there to heal the wound on your neck, he calls to you repeatedly though his voice along with your vision of him are clouded amongst your thoughts. Your heart pounds and head races as it continues to try and register the influx of everything you lost. 

There’s a soft touch to your temple, as a whisper from him finally makes it through. “Be strong my love, you can conquer this too.”

You can feel yourself being lifted as the room moves around you. Clinging to his coat you utter your wish to leave, unwilling to spend another moment in this castle. Fully slipping as he draws you in closer.

...

When the haze lifts you come to find yourself in another bed. Not one of the castle’s no, it seems Yoongi had observed that request, but the location is still worrisome for it is the same room you had shared with him in Seokjin’s house. You immediately sit up, panicking over your last memory of this place, and fearful of Yoongi’s clan’s intent. 

Your vampire sleeps on a chair beside you, though his head and chest are slumped over on the mattress and his hand encasing yours. Stirring the second your grip leaves his and you attempt to get from the bed. He grabs at your shoulder pushing you back down with ease, “What do you think you are doing? You are in no state to be running off.” 

“Yoongi... why are we here? If Seokjin-”

“This was the only safe place I could think to bring you. You have nothing to fear here now. Seokjin will not do anything, he knows he was in the wrong to suggest such compulsion, and Namjoon has promised retribution on your behalf if he continues such behaviour.” Yoongi briefly smirks at the thought of the pair, though his expression soon darkens as his hand brushes your hair from your face as you relax back into the bed. “I thought- I was worried I lost you back there.”

“I-I couldn’t control it, there was so much that I had lost and most of it difficult to bear again...” You grimace at the pain of it, prompting Yoongi to lean in to kiss your blow and pull a small smile from you again. “I should never have returned. I should have trusted you more, I’m so sorry for putting you in danger like that.”

“It was not your fault. You had every reason to doubt me given your past and what you knew. I can’t imagine what it was like, but...” He looks down avoiding your eyes as he rubs your hands, the words that follow are just as tentative and soft. “If you should- I don’t know if- if you need me to help you discard any memories I will do so. Doesn’t have to be now or ever, but if you ever need me to... don’t feel like you have to carry the weight of it alone.”   

You nod your eyes tearing up with gratitude for his offer. “Thank you, there will be some moments that I- that I will be glad to be rid of.” Yoongi’s warm smile comes with his arms to wrap around you in a tight hug. You wince as your muscles stain to return the affection, feeling as though they have seized from lack of use. “How long have I been under?” 

“The longest two nights of my existence.”

“Two nights?” You exclaim pulling out of the embrace in shock. “What has happened since?  Was anyone else hurt before I-I-”

“No one else, but the castle,” Yoongi sighs looking hesitant to tell you the rest. “The castle was set aflame in an act of defiance. It was sentenced to burn once the staff and resistance had cleared it of everything of value.”

“Good,” you whisper. 

“There is more... Seokjin has been keeping a close eye on the situation.” Yoongi discloses. “But, when word spread that you returned only to vanish again, many believed your appearance to be that of an imposter rather than their former princess. They thought you a tool of the mysterious lord attempting to gain power.”

“And their plans to create a new form of rule?” You ask, the focus of your question leading Yoongi to tilt his head in confusion.

“Going forward without much backlash, but-”

“Then they have every right to think so. I am very different from their lost princess.” You smile to Yoongi’s surprise. “I am a threat to them now, a threat to the future governance they plan to install. Any version of me might sow the seeds of discord in progress if I was to return. If this story of me being a deceiver will help them to rebuild, then let them think it. I will make no plans to return.”

Yoongi nods in understanding, though his expression still holds regret. “I am sorry I was not able to deliver you home as promised.”

“That place was not my home for so long, not since you-”

A loud knock comes from the front door of the small home, reaching you all the way in your upstairs room. Yoongi stiffens in the seat next to you as muffled voices are soon heard too. Your vampire stands going to the door where Seokjin appears a moment later with news. “It’s Lord Hoseok. He’s here, and he wants to see you.”

“Don’t you dare let him in.” Yoongi pushes back. “Not with her here, not now.” 

“I can’t exactly deny him entrance,” Seokjin scoffs. “This is his house-”

“Fine, then I will.” 

Seokjin puts a hand on Yoongi’s chest and prevents him from storming off into a confrontation. “You know you can’t stop him. If he wishes to see her he will, but right now I think his main concern is you. Do not anger him if there is no reason to. See what he wants then come to a judgement.”

The same loud knock you heard below then arrives at your bedroom door, breaking off the disagreement between the two vampires.The guest you know not to require permission, but it seems that he would rather enter on your terms rather than his own. 

“Yoongi?” You call to him, witnessing the dread in his face when he turns to look at you. “I should like to speak to him too.”

Yoongi’s reluctant hand turns the lever, letting his lord inside. Your own vampire stands between the two of you preventing you from getting a good look as the first words are exchanged.   

“My Lord.”

“Tell me it is so, that it is true. Is Taehyung- ” The vampire lord immediately launches into the heart of the matter. The weight of his tone sends shivers to even you. 

“Dead, my lord.” 

“Thank you Yoongi, I am in your debt.” The tension in his voice quickly falls away. 

“It was not I alone who defeated him sir. The credit also goes to the woman who you thought you would contain to your fortress.” Yoongi mutters with malice.

“I app-” His lord steps further in, allowing him to finally catch a glimpse of you. He pauses for a moment as he takes you in, his mouth hangs open and a single word falls in greeting, “Mansin?”

Though the word is foreign to you Yoongi reacts in an instant, returning to your side, he growls and his superior in defiance while positioned in your defence. “She is not-”

Lord Hoseok seems to catch himself and apologises. “A mistake Yoongi, an honest mistake, I see that she is bound to you. You must forgive me,” He whispers while giving a sad smile in penance. “Something in your expression reminded me of someone I once knew.” He politely touches upon his error, but leaves you with no reason for Yoongi’s reception. “I must give my thanks to you as well then, for you saved me the pain of having to kill my own creation.” 

Alarmed by the confession you try to stand but Yoongi’s hand once again comes down to your shoulder. “Then Taehyung was yours? You created that monster?!”

“It was not my intention to have him turn out in such a way.” The vampire lord growls at the censure, causing Yoongi to grow ridged next to you. “I found him as an innocent young man dying, whispering the name of the one he loved, the one he was bound to. I took pity on him, would you not have done the same?” Hoseok raises an eyebrow as he throws his choice back at you. 

You swallow and nod in response. “I suppose I would have.” The swift changes in mood of the vampire lord keep you on guard, intimidating in one moment and considerate in the next. It’s easy to see why Yoongi might be wary of him around you. 

“I chose to banish him from the clan when he killed his former mate, your ancestor, for I could no longer trust him. He sought revenge on both your family and mine, and it is my fault alone. I knew that Yoongi would prefer to keep you as far away as possible, but Taehyung would likely have tracked you down sooner or later. I wanted to make up for that by offering you a safe place at my fortress but I can see that it was misconstrued.” 

“Thankfully your assistance with my residence is no longer required.” You convey, hoping that he has abandoned the notion, since the threat is no longer stalking you.

“Yes... thankfully.” Lord Hoseok reiterates with a weak grin.

“If you are in our debt as you say then I would like to make a request of you.” You ask much to Yoongi’s surprise, resulting in his head snapping in your direction.

“A request?” Hoseok blinks, a grin twitching in his lips. He grabs the chair from the desk, turning it to face you before taking his seat. “What have you to ask of me?”

“My old kingdom, I want to ensure the health of the people. I ask that if your clan goes there to feed they use the tactics that Yoongi has been operating under.” Yoongi finally exhales and relaxes, as you explain your wish, a small smile crosses his lips with what looks to be pride.

“I understand your position, and would agree immediately if there were to be no recourse, but to put such limitations on my clan without any amendments or accommodations to offer in return... many would turn rogue.” Hoseok shakes his head. “No, if I ordered that, we might find ourselves in another situation like before.”

You consider what you have left to give with nothing left from your family to offer, you have only what you may have acquired through matrimonial bonds. “Tell me when a vampire dies, what happens to the ownership of their residences.”

“It will go to whomever they deemed a second who was not created by their own lineage. Yoongi was once my own. I don’t know if Taehyung- ”

“But if they had taken a wife who survived them?” You ask.

“They would be yours...” Yoongi mutters beside you in understanding.

You nod grimacing at the prospect of owning his land. “I want no part of them. But if they will help you to convince your clan to adjust their feedings and continue to help those of my former kingdom they are yours.” You offer to Hoseok. “Every fortress, waypoint and house that belonged to him will all be transferred to your own clan. ”

“Then I accept your terms,” Hoseok nods in agreement. “But where will you go?”

You look to Yoongi to give the answer. Caught off guard he pauses before responding with the simple direction of, “East, we plan to head east.”

  ...

...Two months later...

Yoongi stops the horse and dismounts beside an overgrown field, looking at the land with a deep contented sigh. “This is it.” He lights a lantern for you before treading into the long grass, in search of the foundation of his old home.

He was right, there is little left, but regardless of that fact you help him by clearing the roughage from any remains you can find. Pausing only when he does, while uncovering what seems to be a rotting wooden board laying on the ground. Upon further inspection you find it to shield a substantial cavern below with steps leading into the darkness. 

“If that’s the cellar... Then that must mean.” Yoongi mutters, before taking a few steps away, counting his paces as he goes. Hunching down over a higher patch of ground, he tears away the long weeds, until a stone hearth reveals itself. He takes the rotting wooden board, and breaks it apart into several pieces. Building them up before he sets them alight with the fire of the lantern. 

He lowers himself to sit in front of the burning wood and beckons for your hand, kissing you knuckles, raw from the cold wind of your journey as you take a seat next to him. Despite the lack of walls and roof, you are overwhelmed by Yoongi’s peace as he looks into the fire, feeling that same comfort and warmth within yourself. “I never thought I’d see this place again, but now, it feels right to return. Perhaps-” He meets your eye before expressing the rest of his tentative question. “Perhaps we could stay here for a while?”

“I would like that.” You answer with a nod, prompting him to beam back at you.

While Yoongi moves to lay on the grass relaxing in the light of the flame you pull out the new map you’ve been working on since the start of your journey east. The other still remains, not entirely forgotten, but of little use in this region. The fresh start on parchment comes as a much needed reprieve, the chance to begin again. 

“You are marking this place down for me?” Yoongi asks as you draw with your quill pen. 

“For us,” you correct him.

Looking down at the new point on the map now labelled with your description, he smiles at the sight of the single word you had written. “Have I fulfilled my duty to you then? Should we part ways here?” He jests pushing to rise up until you tug him back down by his long coat.

“You have,” Shaking your head at his joke, you explain your true feelings behind the word. “But if you leave, this place ceases to be so. It only exists as such when I am with you.”

“Then I must stay by your side, or risk breaking another promise?” He continues to tease you, with a twitch to the corner of his lip.

You can’t help but laugh at his attempt to conceal his eagerness. “So it would seem. How long do you think you can keep your vow?” 

“For eternity.” Yoongi whispers, leaning in to kiss you over the setting ink of, ‘Home.’

...

-The End-

...