#and now I get to feel empowered and energized all over again

[itsyourstarboy]

ZAP

✨Lovely OC✨

The long awaited, lovely Lovely is here!!! I kept a lot of electric vibes with her design, because she may be dead but that part of her is not.

Info about her under the cut!

Finally putting a face to the name

My Lovely is named Charlie and uses she/her pronouns

💗💛💙pansexual💙💛💗

5’8” (tall goddess)

Her eyes were brown before her turning

Cute little blue goth babey

She’s a Twilight fan girl through and through. She’s team Edward all the way, and prefers the books to the movies.

It was basically a dream come true when she met Vincent.

She was a college freshman, pursuing a career in photography. She likes taking pictures of abandoned/creepy places (hence why she was at Wonderworld at 3am)

She didn’t believe Vincent was a vampire at first, but a small part of her hoped he was.

Then he broke into her house and she was in love <3

I think she might actually be insane.

No self preservation instincts whatsoever, y’all already know.

She wanted Vincent to turn her into a vampire from the start, but she didn’t really know how to ask, so when she saw a chance to get nearly killed she took it.

Jumped in front of that shade on purpose, I’m telling you.

She used to be vegan (obviously not anymore lol)

After learning she was empowered, she stopped going to the unempowered college and transferred to DAMN.

Then she died and just dropped out mood

She’s the biggest tease you will ever meet. Yes, even worse than Vincent.

She’s loves leaving him wanting more.

He can’t even get her back anymore, because now she can run super fast, and he’s afraid if he chases her she’ll go flying down a mountain again.

She stans Avril Lavigne so hard

15% beauty; 5% grace; 70% chaos; 10% horny

She throws electric shocks at anything that scares her

Or, at least, she used to.

Now that she’s a vampire, her electricity is weakened, so she feels kinda defenseless. If something scares her, she immediately hunches over and hisses like a frightened feline.

Probably licks batteries to feel energized.

She HAS to have the last word.

If you text her something rude and then block her, she will hunt you down in person just to respond with “k.”

She got into a lot of verbal fights at DAMN because she has a problem with authority

Okay so... she doesn’t have it anymore, but she used to drive an old, beat up, hand-me-down minivan.

She also never got her driver’s license.

“Fake it till you make it,” yeah she’s good at pretending to know what she’s doing.

(Vincent didn’t find this out until after she was behind the wheel of his most expensive car)

I don’t know what issues she’s got goin on up in her noggin, but there’s quite a few.

Tea-time gossip w/ William on Wednesdays at 1pm :)

Okay pet names pet names

Charlie calls Vincent: Vince, Bats, Creeper, Handsome, Babe, and Cutie.

She has an emotional support animal :3

His name is Spike and he’s a duck 🦆

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 019: Hey Google, Play “You Say Run”

Previously on BnHA: All Might plus ultraed a bunch of thugs but then the three Big Bads converged on him and nearly ripped him apart. Deku ran back to try to save him and nearly got his own self killed. Then Bakugou fucking Katsuki, Todoroki motherfucking Whatever His First Name Is, and Kirishima goddamn Same Deal as Todoroki showed up at the last fucking second to save the day.

Today on BnHA: Todoroki is a beast. Bakugou nearly gives me a heart attack. All Might is hurt and almost out of time and in no condition to be fighting the enemy. All Might fights the enemy anyway. All Might fucking demolishes the enemy, and sacrifices damn near everything to do it, and it’s the single most badass thing I’ve ever seen in my fucking life.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 31 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

oh damn, Todoroki is so maddeningly excellent at life that he can control his quirk to the extent that he stopped just short of freezing All Might in addition to Noumu

mighty fine job there, Elsa

OH THANK GOD All Might took advantage of that to loosen Noumu’s grip and now he’s hopping out of there

but he’s still fucking hurt! the guy was fucking clawing at his old injury, and even before that happened he was already close to his limit. I really don’t like this at all

now everyone is just staring at Facepalm. like, fuck you, dude

“WE DON’T LIKE YOU”

Bakugou still has his hand on Kurogiri’s neck. just blow him the fuck up already. of course you pick now of all fucking times to go all lawful fucking heroic

Noumu’s just sitting there in Kuro’s void all

his expression literally has not changed once since his first appearance, but it’s amazing how all it takes is the right context, and just like that it becomes hilarious

“you’ve pinned down our way out” yes he has! but for whatever reason, he’s not going for a killing or even a disabling blow! and it’s making me fucking anxious!!

and now Bakugou is monologuing like fucking Peter Pan hlkhsakdh. “OH THE CLEVERNESS OF ME”

listen Baku, that’s great that you’ve figured all of that out and all, but I’m serious now, you had better blast this guy sometime today or this is all about to get extremely fucking dire again

now he’s recalling when he first tried to attack Kurogiri at the outset of the surprise attack, back when he nearly blasted him and Kuro was like “that was close.” except that as far as Bakugou’s concerned, he might as well have said “BOY THAT WAS CLOSE, IT SURE IS GOOD THAT HE DIDN’T HIT MY WEAK SPOT RIGHT OVER HERE.” apparently

it is pretty clever tbh but omg I just want him to stop dragging this out already. my heart can’t take

he’s telling Kuro that he’ll blow him up if he decides he’s doing anything fishy. I’m sure that’s going to pan out

seriously Bakugou, it’s football season now in the U.S. and I just watched the Packers come back from a 20-0 deficit, after their quarterback fucking died in the first half but was then somehow resurrected. I’m just not in a mood to underestimate anyone right at this moment, least of all a bunch of shounen villains whom the author has clearly invested a great deal of time and thought into, and who are thus quite unlikely to just die here a mere 8 chapters after their introduction

ughhh

Facepalm is acting entirely too calm for the heroes to not be on their fucking guard right now

aaaaaand now he’s telling Noumu to “take out the explosive brat”! :’D

haha! bitch if you fucking try anything I will go out and buy like 50 mouse traps and wait until you’re sleeping and then stick those things all over all fourteen of your creepy superfluous possessed fucking hands

so now Noumu is hauling his ass back out of the portal... and his arm and leg are literally crumbling, WOW

son of a bitch I’m glad Todoroki’s on our side

Deku and All Might are watching this and wondering what exactly Noumu even is, which is quite a reasonable thing to be asking yourself at this point

oh, great. apparently he has hyper regeneration too and can regrow his limbs and repair all of his injuries in an instant! so that’s just fucking great

does Todoroki have a limit to his ice powers? we don’t know of one yet, at least. hey bud, can you just. freeze him again real quick there

or if you really want to be a dear, maybe try freezing Facepalm since he’s clearly the ringleader in all of this??

now All Might is heroically leaping into the fray once more

and now it occurs to me that Bakugou and Todoroki (and Kiri) may in fact be acting so frustratingly complacent because they, unlike Deku, aren’t aware of just how close All Might is to his limit, and just how fucked they’ll be if that actually happens. as far as they know, All Might doesn’t have a limit. he’s fucking All Might. why would he?!

so in fact I can’t blame them, because they’re not aware of just how close to the knife’s edge they’re actually walking right now

nnnnnnnnngh something is happening with Bakugou, something or someone is approaching him and it’s probably Noumu!! 8|!!! I’ll have to scroll down in order to see but I’m worriiiied sob

[peeks through hands]

um. what the hell just happened

it looked like something was disintegrating for a second there in that FWSH panel but other than that? I got nothing

(ETA: I’ve read this chapter like 4 times and I still don’t know what was going on in that panel, honestly. everything else is pretty clear now though)

whatever it was, it was too fast for any of the kids to follow. even Kacchan has no idea how the hell he suddenly got where he is

I personally have a guess

MY GUESS IS CONFIRMED

ALL MIGHT IS SO FUCKING GLORIOUS. THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY SON’S LIFE!! PLEASE MARRY ME!!

now Facepalm is sarcastically praising him, as villains do

this is the second time he’s mentioned something like this now. I’m starting to get the feeling it has something to do with whatever his motivation/backstory is. you know, what with this being the first arc with bad guys, as of yet I have no idea what BnHA’s Villain Redemption Policy is. but I have to say, I can’t see myself ever liking this nutjob. so he’d better not try to pull any Vegeta/Byakuya/Itachi/Mukuro type of shit, that’s all I can say

and now he’s ranting about how it’s ~not fair~ because when bad guys do bad guy stuff violently, it’s bad, but when good guys do good stuff violently, it’s fine!

there are so many logical holes in this argument!! but!! it’s also one of the themes I was lowkey hoping the series would explore, and it looks like maybe it will, so this is pretty exciting!

but his argument here is just so fucking wrong, though. like dude, you really can’t see how All Might’s “violence” is just a little bit different from you and your friends’, Mr. “LET’S KILL SOME CHILDREN HAHAHA”?

lol now All Might’s calling him out on his bullshit and basically saying that he knows full well this psycho isn’t a Mukuro-type. I fucking love this

and now these four boy scouts are feeling empowered

I LIKE THEIR FIGHTING SPIRIT. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT THE “WITH ALL MIGHT SUPPORTING US” PART IS SECRETLY FLAWED!!

and now All Might’s telling them to get out of there because he knows, sob

jesus christ Deku are you seriously pointing out all of All Might’s weaknesses right now in front of the fucking enemy

I get that he’s worried about him but dude!! some discretion, you know???

thankfully All Might cuts him off, but the damage is probably already done

Facepalm is now instructing Noumu and Kurogiri to go after All Might and says that he’ll handle the kids 8/

hey so Todoroki, maybe now you might want to try freezing this dude’s ass?? like what are you waiting for though??

fuck me, All Might has “barely a minute left” now. this had better be like one of those Dragonball Z minutes that’s actually 15 episodes long. or else we’re really in a bind

and now he seems to be powering up to do something...

oh my god

okay, can I just say, I’ve seen a LOT of anime eyes in my day. magical eyes, cursed eyes, eyes in all shapes and styles and every last color of the rainbow. but All Might just may have the coolest fucking eyes I’ve ever seen

and I’ve actually thought this ever since we first saw them in his Skinny Steve form. there’s just something so cool about the black eyes with blue irises combo. it doesn’t look like any other character I can think of, and it just works for him. I’m unfortunately at a complete loss for how to explain just why I like it so much, because I always read these chapters so late, and my brain’s not up to the task. but anyway! the point is that he’s awesome and this closeup is crazy intense and is giving me life right now

even everyone else watching is just blown the fuck away by the sheer badassery he’s suddenly radiating at this moment. THE SYMBOL OF PEACE IS ABOUT TO FUCK SOMEONE UPPPPPPPPPP

HE’S PUNCHING NOUMU AND HE DOESN’T SEEM TO BE CONCERNED AT ALL ABOUT THE SHOCK ABSORPTION, AS THOUGH HE HAS SOME SORT OF PLAN NOW

OH WOW

HE’S LITERALLY JUST PUMMELING THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM

WELL MORE LIKE THEY’RE PUMMELING EACH OTHER I GUESS

WOW. GOTTA SAY, THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST SHOUNEN THINGS I’VE EVER WITNESSED

ohh SHIT, All Might says that since it’s “absorption” and not “negation”, it implies that he must have a limit

and now he’s basically saying “oh, you built this thing to be badder than me? well then in that case I’ll just have to be EVEN BADDER”

ALL MIGHT IS FUCKING CRANKING IT UP TO ELEVEN AND IT IS GLORIOUS

BUT HE’S ALSO DYING STILL

DON’T DIE ALL MIGHT

A HERO’S ALWAYS READY TO SMASH THROUGH TROUBLE OH MY GOD

HE IS LIKE THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF SHOUNEN

OH MY GOD NOW HE’S SAYING THE THING

THE NONSENSICAL THING THAT I’VE BEEN KIND OF ROLLING MY EYES AT THIS ENTIRE TIME BECAUSE IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE

AND TO BE HONEST IT STILL DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE

BUT...

...I THINK ALL MIGHT MAY BE STARTING TO WIN ME OVER ON THIS ONE

my GOD that was satisfying to see

(ETA: you guys. YOU GUYS. I watched this scene like a half a dozen times in the anime. it. was. so. cool. like honest to god one of the single coolest and most badass things I’ve ever fucking seen.

so what I didn’t realize is that BnHA is one of those newfangled anime that actually runs in seasons, instead of starting one day and then just never stopping ever again. I have seen so many good series brought to their knees by attempting the latter. it drains the budget, necessitates all kinds of obnoxious and pointless filler, and ends up forcing things to be unbearably dragged out. but by condensing BnHA’s first two arcs into one 13-episode season, the anime sidestepped all of these pitfalls entirely. the animation has been gorgeous, and they only animated what was in the actual canon! no fucking filler omg.

and the soundtrack. GUYS. I had no idea the OST was going to be this fucking good. and just, when it gets to this scene, and the production values just jump up ALL THE NOTCHES, and the music starts to swell, and All Might is being so cool and THROWING ALL THE PUNCHES, and the fucking SKY is getting dark for no reason at all except that EVEN THE SKY IS INTIMIDATED BY HOW BADASS HE IS, and there are all these wind effects and camera angles and I’m losing my mind, and then ALL MIGHT SAYS. THE. THING!!! and then KAPOOOOOW

just. it fucking floored me. like I wanted to cry almost. my adrenaline was so ramped up I was practically ready to do backflips. that shit made me want to go out and save the world.

I fucking understand plus ultra after that, man. I get it now. it’s like my third eye has been fucking opened. universe tell me your secrets. oh my god)

the kids are staring in shock

there is literally smoke clearing. from the flurry of punches. they were punching so furiously that somehow there was smoke

All Might punched him over 300 times in like, 10 seconds. damn, All Might. that sounds like the kind of hyperbolic thing I would say to describe something like what you just did. only you actually did it

goddamn

so now only Facepalm and his convenient friend with the convenient escape power are left. I wonder what will happen next chapter lmao

BONUS:

JIROU!! ANOTHER OF MY FAVORITES!

she has such a weird power and I fucking love it

unfortunately her power is incompatible with all iPhones manufactured since 2016

“she looks like she’d play bass” yessss

did I mention that I love her?? and I ship her with Momo lol

[fuckyeahtx]

By Mimi Swartz

Ms. Swartz is an executive editor of Texas Monthly

HOUSTON — A law school classmate of our governor once insisted to me that Greg Abbott was more dangerous than his predecessor Rick Perry because he was smart. I would say that the events of the past few months lend considerable support to the first part of the sentence.

Maybe you heard that Mr. Abbott tested positive for the coronavirus? One day before the news broke, he appeared at a crowded campaign event, maskless, shaking hands and posing for pictures. It was nice of him to let us know that he was feeling fine after getting the kind of care President Donald Trump received when he tested positive — those nifty monoclonal antibodies and all. Yet for years, Mr. Abbott has denied federal funds toward a state expansion of Medicaid, which could help many Texans get access to health care (and, polls show, has the support of a majority of residents).

Mr. Abbott’s announcement also took place against a battle over mask mandates for school districts in several Texas cities — my own, Houston, among them, as well as Dallas, Austin and San Antonio. The governor and his attorney general, Ken Paxton, banned mask mandates, but local leaders were defiant, and on Thursday night, the Texas State Supreme Court came down on the side of school districts trying to fight a spike in cases involving children.

Simultaneously, new census data shows how population shifts over the past decade in Texas, like other Sun Belt states, will strengthen big cities and their suburbs.

This fascinating coincidence made me wonder how far we are from open rebellion among many Texans. Mr. Abbott is reportedly setting the stage for a potential presidential run in 2024, but first, next year, he has to win election to a third term.

In his statement on the mask-mandate ban, he said the state should rely on “personal responsibility.” I agree with him. In the past few weeks, the dangers to Texans — most acutely from the Delta variant of the coronavirus — have increased exponentially under his leadership. He has made it abundantly clear, in his mishandling of recent calamities, that voters should exercise “personal responsibility” and find a better person to run their state.

I’m reminded of an old sign outside the Austin restaurant and local institution El Arroyo. A photo of the message made the rounds again on Twitter in response to the outrage many citizens felt with news of the governor’s illness. “Well, well, well,” it read, “if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.”

Mr. Abbott and his Republicans won’t go away without a fight — or tilting voting laws in their favor as much as possible. (Democrats and Republicans are evenly split in the state on approval of the governor, but Democrats have grown increasingly unhappy with the governor’s handling of the pandemic, with now over 80 percent expressing disapproval, up from 59 percent in April 2020.) Republicans can and probably will also stymie future efforts to make for a fair fight, thus keeping themselves in office unless a moderate Republican or any kind of Democrat can pull off a miracle.

With the return of some Democratic state lawmakers from their quorum-denying self-exile, Republicans in the Texas House will surely pass a sweeping voting bill that would undo last year’s expansion of ballot access during the pandemic in places like Houston, as well as empower partisan poll watchers.

Even so, the refusal of Democratic House members to roll over and play dead was performative in the best sense. Their protest made international news, which means that some people here might also realize that Republicans are bound and determined to take certain rights away.

There is also residual anger over the big freeze of February 2021, a reminder of which comes in the form of a monthly gas bill. Recent investigations — by The Texas Observer and The Texas Tribune — show just how many of the energy companies profited from soaring gas prices while ordinary Texans were shivering in their boots. The reports also raise the question of whether a gusher of campaign contributions (so far Mr. Abbott’s campaign alone received around $4.6 million) was a form of gratitude for what was seen as favorable treatment by the governor and some lawmakers.

And then, yes, there is the pandemic.

At about 46 percent, Texas — the nation’s second-largest state by population — has a relatively low vaccination rate. Some hospital I.C.U.s are overflowing with new Covid cases just as public schools are opening. Huzzahs to the elected officials in the state’s most populous cities and counties for fighting back in defiance of the governor.

These fights reflect the one that has been going on since Mr. Abbott took office: the war between the conservatives in the statehouse, supported by rural voters and some wealthy Republican donors, and the more liberal leaders in the cities and metro areas who reflect the will of much of their more diverse voters.

The new census figures show that the growth in Texas since 2010 is in the cities — fully 87 percent of new residents have opted for life in our biggest metropolitan areas, while rural communities remain stagnant, according to Steven Pedigo, the director of the Urban Lab at the University of Texas at Austin’s Lyndon B. Johnson School of Public Affairs, in a CNN report. Our four biggest cities now account for 68 percent of the state’s population, up from 64 percent in 2010.

It is possible to hope — because it always springs eternal — that what we are seeing is not just a series of isolated battles but the beginning of a sustained backlash, at least among energized Democrats, against the Republican bullies. That includes but is not limited to Mr. Abbott, who seems to have focused on his own political fortunes while telling a majority of Texans that they can just go hang.

[leztit]

Is Will Graham Self Aware?

If we don’t recognize Will’s self awareness over his Becoming and his love for Hannibal, we’re suggesting that Will is borderline delusional, incapable of setting boundaries, and unendingly indecisive but passive along the course he’s given. Perhaps love is blinding, but I’m going to talk about some times where he likely just worked in his own self interest instead.

There are two other posts that I think explain Will’s motivations well that I drew from, this one about how he doesn’t believe in free will, and this one that shows the reciprocity between Hannibal and Will. Therefore, he might be terrified of the thought of siding with Hannibal but give in to the inevitability anyway, and he might love Hannibal but need to reciprocate the violence that has been done unto him to be equal first.

season 2:

Despite his fantasies, Will does not kill Hannibal out of righteous violence when he has the opportunity out of the hospital. He was fine to kill Randall and (attempt) Ingram in similarly unplanned, sketchy circumstances (i.e. Ingram didn’t get convicted but Will still tried to pull the trigger, and he was going to be charged on Randall’s death in the end, risking his loss of freedom again). Either he’s somehow convinced himself that he’s still an effective upholder of the law, or he doesn’t actually want Hannibal dead or perhaps wants Hannibal specifically to be incarcerated for reasons of reciprocity rather than justice ones.

When in private with Hannibal, he is extremely candid about his murderous proclivities in what seems like excessive therapy appointments and dinners and work shifts together. A… suspiciously dedicated acting performance if it is a manipulation, but we see in his alone time that it is very much affecting him. This is the same man who refused to kill the person that stabbed him and chose a life of teaching because he was worried about Becoming. Either he’s sitting there essentially like ‘hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me!’ when it is clearly too late or he’s exploring his own darkness in full seriousness.

As for who he was siding with, Will spent months in jail trying to convince everyone that Hannibal is Hannibal and by “Yakimono”, Jack seems to believe him. Alana’s reaction at the world's most awkward dinner party™ is enough to show how suspicious it is that Will would forgive and believe Hannibal after everything. My personal favourite interpretation of the Freddie Lounds attack scene is that it’s completely Will’s imagination, what he wanted to do to her when in reality she was probably just brought to Jack’s desk and told the plan (why traumatize her for no reason? She would have written all about it!). There is all the possibility that he would have killed Jack in the end and gone with Hannibal (“Didn’t I?”). Either Will just plagued with indecision for the entire time or he was going along with the plan that would keep him out of suspicion and able to work with Hannibal behind the scenes.

season 3:

Will runs after Hannibal to Europe, angsting over his regret and longing for his “perfect world” alternative. He tells Jack that he wanted to run away with Hannibal, he tells Pazzi he doesn’t know who’s side he’s on and doesn’t deny what Alana is suggesting about seeing past Hannibal’s worst. These are all people that hate Hannibal, and Will isn’t gaining anything, especially not trust, by admitting his affection for Hannibal. He is also uncooperative with the police and goes off on his own to find Hannibal, therefore ruling out the idea of capturing Hannibal (at least right now). His options seem to be either to kill Hannibal or to run away with him, knowing he can’t get over him otherwise. He seems to attempt the killing option (unless he had only meant to scar Hannibal back?) perhaps because of his need to reciprocate. Either he’s half-heartedly trying to assassinate Hannibal (really? a small knife in public? *Chilton voice* ‘flirtation!’) despite being plagued with all these complicated feelings or he’s aware of the intimately personal nature of his ways to deal with Hannibal.

Will then loses his autonomy and spends a while tied up or drugged so it’s hard to deduce his thoughts until he breaks up with Hannibal. He later says “the only way you’d turn yourself in was if I rejected you” suggesting it was a plan of his, potentially a way to reciprocate for the time Hannibal put him in the hospital. If Will doesn’t believe in free will, he may believe in the inevitability of getting an opportunity to break Hannibal out just like Hannibal did for him, or at the very least hope he lives in that universe timeline. This might be why he’s so sour in the beginning of the “Wrath of the Lamb” when he ‘drops the mic’, he doesn’t see his chance yet. His voice sounds weak when he says “I like my life there (...) Molly and I want it to be the same.” When Will returns to say “pretty please”, his attitude is completely different, he’s energized and sly and smiley, practically glowing.

Backtracking, in s3e08, Will first goes to the Red Dragon crime scene and uses his empathy/imagination as effectively as we’ve seen in the past, but then goes to Jack and says he needs to visit Hannibal to get in the “mindset” again. Hannibal accuses Will of “just [coming] to look at [him], get the old scent”, and when Hannibal suggests that the Red Dragon is disfigured, Will half-heartedly pretends he hadn’t thought of that already (”that’s interesting”), which Hannibal calls him out for, too (“That's not interesting. You thought of that before”). Either he’s conveniently forgotten the effect that Hannibal has on him and convinced himself that he needs help on the case, which is questionable, or Will is truly there to see Hannibal.

Hannibal hints that he’s sent the Red Dragon after Will’s “ready-made” family, admitting he knows them and saying “they’re not my family, Will. I’m not letting them die, you are.” Will has been able to predict every other person who has been attacked by Hannibal (Beverly, Jack, Alana, Pazzi), but not the ones who Hannibal practically admits to? Returning to Hannibal after visiting Molly in the hospital, Will’s anger doesn’t linger and it’s arguably an intimate scene, standing in the dark, whispering about his “change”, their reflections overlapping. This is when Will realizes that the Red Dragon thinks he can do “anything”, even break Hannibal out of jail. Either Will is suddenly misunderstanding Hannibal but going along with him anyway, or Will is understanding of their plan and not particularly attached to Molly and Walter, maybe even likes the jealous attention from Hannibal (”Your experience of Hannibal's attention is so profoundly harmful, yet so irresistible”).

I don’t think I need to convince anyone that Will was purposefully breaking Hannibal out of the hospital. Can I just cite his eyebrow thing? Anyway, “it sounds weak to you, even as you say it”, the apathy at seeing police killed, going with Hannibal so easily. Either he needs to just retire because this plan crashed and burned bad or he wants to break Hannibal out of the hospital.

Of course, the interesting debate here is what his secret cliffside plan was. Either run away with Hannibal or finally kill him. “The bluff is eroding,” “soon all of this will be lost to the sea,” very well may be a plan admission. Will does not help Dolaryhyde kill Hannibal, he does not sit back and watch Hannibal die, he does not ensure his death with a fatal wound in the end.  Will and Hannibal survive together, either he just happened to survive and went with it idk his life is so absurd already might as well just become a murder husband since it fell in his lap? Or it was by Will’s own volition and assent that he runs away with Hannibal.

Conclusion: 

Will struggles to think rationally around Hannibal, it’s true, and he doesn’t make... great decisions, but I don’t think fans give him enough credit sometimes. He’s a criminal mastermind, a professor at the FBI, one of the best special investigators out there, and a master manipulator in his daily life. He struggles with the dark urges inside of him, perhaps yearns for a normal life instead, but is fully aware of them nonetheless. We can argue that Will is a hot mess, blinded by love, is borderline delusional in his self-denial and is riddled with indecisiveness for years but that he keeps on making bad decisions despite it and letting the current of his weird life take him along passively -- or we can recognize that he might have always been acting on his personal goals. His personal goals include exploring his Becoming and making things equal (reciprocal) with Hannibal and would empower him away from being just another victim. 

[matpisound]

matpi’s 2020 top ten

With this crazy year finally being thrown to the wolves, I thought I’d share some of my favorite songs. Usually I rank songs based on my mood, but I thought long and hard about this list to make it as accurate to my tastes as possible. In addition to the musical elements, I’ve also considered my personal experience with each song. With that said, get ready for a list that defines the phrase, “all over the place.”

10. ”約束” - Roselia

Translating to “Promise,” this Roselia song rounds out the list with its dynamic highs and lows and metric complexities. Combine that with Roselia’s signature sound and you have yourself a straight up banger. There are a lot of feel changes, with sections of 3 against 4 polymeter, steady rock groves, and a double time chorus, and this keeps the song interesting and super fun to listen to. Not to mention the powerful lead vocals, courtesy of Yukina Minato, played by the insanely talented Aina Aiba, as well as the occasional trading of vocal lines with bassist Lisa Imai, voiced by Yuki Nakashima, allow the song to really shine.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQS0LZfXRCs&list=OLAK5uy_l6KyKKWX1j8vHY-PjK6yJHkIZpOV0WMrE

9. “Avant-garde HISTORY” - Roselia

Going up the list now we have another Roselia song. This song is marked by its progressive rock influence in the intro, with a lack of adherence to a single key or time signature, all while remaining an epic intro to the majestic 6/8 rock ballad that follows. Combining rock with orchestral elements is a recipe for greatness, and Roselia really pulled through here. The lead vocals are supported by a chorus of the other members in a really significant way in this song, contributing even more to the sheer glory that it exudes. Add in some huge drum fills and epic buildups between sections, and it creates this absolute work of art.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nakW_Ziciik&list=OLAK5uy_lImYujueVzq7DDMrRc2TX8qnp1ZzMlHKM&index=6

8. “Ride” - Samuel R. Hazo

No, this is not the twenty one pilots song, nor is it a cover. It’s a wind ensemble piece chock full of the good stuff. Spicy harmonies, giant fanfares, fast runs, solos, time signature changes, heavy yet tasteful use of percussion, what’s not to love? I really wanna play this in band one day, because aside from being fun to listen to, it’s a real challenge to play, especially with a large ensemble. Wind ensemble pieces in general are really cool because they are light-years ahead of most modern music in terms of dynamic contrast, and "Ride” has a ton of it.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=au4geHy_S_0

7. “Amaryllis” -  Shinedown

I honestly don’t know how to describe why I like this song so much; I just do. It’s a really nice song. The amaryllis as a flower is extremely beautiful, sporting vivid reds and pinks in its petals, and that imagery really shone through with its lyrics and 6/8 ballad feel. I’d like to mention the key signature as well. The key of D♭ just feels like a beautiful key signature, and here that beauty was thoroughly reflected.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixltBz9IENw

6. “FIRE BIRD” - Roselia

Back again with another Roselia song. First of all, this song is great because of the story of the Phoenix. I always thought an immortal bird of fire rising from the ashes was such a glorious thing, and this song captures the essence of this tale perfectly. A quiet start with just piano and vocals gives way to a ginormous sounding intro as all the band members sing as a choir, which then leads into a crazy double-time groove which persists throughout the song. Combine that with Roselia’s sound and you get a triumphant anthem that’s sure to energize anyone and anything.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_F7l7n_oP8&list=OLAK5uy_lImYujueVzq7DDMrRc2TX8qnp1ZzMlHKM&index=4

and here’s a live version because the visuals are IMMACULATE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AwP7S9f3A8

5. “Guilty All The Same” - Linkin Park

Off of one of the greatest rock albums in my opinion, “Guilty All The Same” is nothing short of a masterpiece. A nearly 6-minute song, and it’s never boring for a second. The unique drum grooves and use of 3 against 4 polymeter are what make this song so damn interesting to listen to, and lead singer, Chester Bennington’s, vocals are nothing short of spectacular. Rakim’s verse in the bridge combined with the sick guitar riff and the drums backing them up makes it one of the best combinations of rock and rap that I’ve heard.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEaEdLQbAFM

4. “LOUDER” - Roselia

This being one of the first Roselia songs I’ve listened to, it has a really special place in my heart. But musically, it’s super awesome too. At a blistering 195 BPM, it’s one of the fastest songs on here, meaning it’s also super fun to play on the drums. It also changes keys between the verses and choruses from D minor to D major and back. And of course, who could forget lead vocalist Yukina Minato guiding the song through her soaring melodic lines. All in all, it’s a great song that managed to top my Spotify Wrapped.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYSXZQ2b1-c

Now before we get into our top 3, let’s look at some honorable mentions:

“A DECLARATION OF ×××” - RAISE A SUILEN: A song inciting revolution, this combination of rock and EDM is a straight up vibe. We also get some djent as a bonus! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=713nCe8LLa0

“DIVE!” - Setsuna Yuki: Rock music in the world of anime idols is a foreign concept, and to me it’s a welcome one. It seems, however, that others disagree... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXXxW8hEF3o

“Neo-Aspect” - Roselia: I swear this is the last Roselia song, but it was way too good not to include here. A powerful song filled to the brim with expression. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snp_DT9EqiQ

“カレンデュラ“ - RONDO: “Calendula” for those who can’t read Japanese, this heavy song carries a lot of weight in it’s lyrics as well. Overall a really epic song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRnaYwx2fH4

“Daybreaker” - Waterflame: Made fairly recently by a producer who made music that was a huge part of my childhood, this song just vibes so fucking hard. Fun fact: it was released on my birthday! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLomCDE7E50

3. “Transcendent Journey” - Rossano Galante

Now we’re talking about the true bangers of my music taste. I love Galante’s music because it’s always so dynamic always with super melodious lead parts. This piece is no different in that sense. It really feels like a journey. Fast woodwind runs supporting soaring brass lines, quiet woodwind melodies, blazing fanfares, and varied tempo make this piece of music really feel like a spiritual journey. There’s so much about this piece that I just can’t put into words so you just have to listen for yourself.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuMi2z2F3io

2. “Nostalgia” - Rossano Galante

Another wind ensemble piece making the top 3? Well, aside from being a beautiful piece musically, it brings a lot of good memories for me personally as well. We played this for my band’s spring concert when I was in 8th grade. As 8th graders, our ensemble included the high school band students as well, and that was the year one of my favorite seniors was graduating. He was such a big role model for me, and the entire concert was extremely emotional. This was my favorite piece we had programmed that night, and it’s made its way into my favorite songs of all time.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qaq_WKsatg

1. “The Catalyst” - Linkin Park

This was one of those songs. You know those songs that you fall in love with as soon as you hear it for the first time? Yeah, this was that. With every listen, I only liked it more and more, and it crawled its way to the top. It starts off soft, but it just keeps building. Everything builds and builds and becomes increasingly chaotic until it all collapses in the second half of the song. From there, the repeated lyrics “Lift me up, let me go” carry this song to its epic finale, in which we feel the culmination of all that chaos from earlier. Not only does the song work so well as a standalone track, its use as the penultimate track on “A Thousand Suns” (my favorite album of all time) serves as the final climax before resolving the intricate story weaved by the album. This is a perfect song if I have ever heard one.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sBjZBn3DQU

Well, folks, there you have it. A playlist of the best songs that got me through this forsaken year and will hopefully empower the next. I wish you all a better and happy 2021, and I’ll catch you at the double barline!

[alltimebestbooks]

Best Books Help you Change Way to think

1. Think Like a Freak: The Authors of Freakonomics Offer to Retrain Your Brain

The New York Times bestselling Freakonomics changed the way we see the world, exposing the hidden side of just about everything. Then came SuperFreakonomics, a documentary film, an award-winning podcast, and more.

Now, with Think Like a Freak, Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner have written their most revolutionary book yet. With their trademark blend of captivating storytelling and unconventional analysis, they take us inside their thought process and teach us all to think a bit more productively, more creatively, more rationally—to think, that is, like a Freak.

Levitt and Dubner offer a blueprint for an entirely new way to solve problems, whether your interest lies in minor lifehacks or major global reforms. As always, no topic is off-limits. They range from business to philanthropy to sports to politics, all with the goal of retraining your brain. Along the way, you’ll learn the secrets of a Japanese hot-dog-eating champion, the reason an Australian doctor swallowed a batch of dangerous bacteria, and why Nigerian e-mail scammers make a point of saying they’re from Nigeria.

Some of the steps toward thinking like a Freak:

First, put away your moral compass—because it’s hard to see a problem clearly if you’ve already decided what to do about it.

Learn to say “I don’t know”—for until you can admit what you don’t yet know, it’s virtually impossible to learn what you need to.

Think like a child—because you’ll come up with better ideas and ask better questions.

Take a master class in incentives—because for better or worse, incentives rule our world.

Learn to persuade people who don’t want to be persuaded—because being right is rarely enough to carry the day.

Learn to appreciate the upside of quitting—because you can’t solve tomorrow’s problem if you aren’t willing to abandon today’s dud.

Levitt and Dubner plainly see the world like no one else. Now you can too. Never before have such iconoclastic thinkers been so revealing—and so much fun to read

2. The Future of the Mind: The Scientific Quest To Understand, Enhance and Empower the Mind

Recording memories, mind reading, videotaping our dreams, mind control, avatars, and telekinesis - no longer are these feats of the mind solely the province of overheated science fiction. As Michio Kaku reveals, not only are they possible, but with the latest advances in brain science and recent astonishing breakthroughs in technology, they already exist. In The Future of the Mind, the New York Times-bestselling author takes us on a stunning, provocative and exhilarating tour of the top laboratories around the world to meet the scientists who are already revolutionising the way we think about the brain - and ourselves.

3. A Mind For Numbers: How to Excel at Math and Science

Whether you are a student struggling to fulfill a math or science requirement, or you are embarking on a career change that requires a new skill set, A Mind for Numbersoffers the tools you need to get a better grasp of that intimidating material. Engineering professor Barbara Oakley knows firsthand how it feels to struggle with math. She flunked her way through high school math and science courses, before enlisting in the army immediately after graduation. When she saw how her lack of mathematical and technical savvy severely limited her options—both to rise in the military and to explore other careers—she returned to school with a newfound determination to re-tool her brain to master the very subjects that had given her so much trouble throughout her entire life. In A Mind for Numbers, Dr. Oakley lets us in on the secrets to learning effectively—secrets that even dedicated and successful students wish they’d known earlier. Contrary to popular belief, math requires creative, as well as analytical, thinking. Most people think that there’s only one way to do a problem, when in actuality, there are often a number of different solutions—you just need the creativity to see them. For example, there are more than three hundred different known proofs of the Pythagorean Theorem. In short, studying a problem in a laser-focused way until you reach a solution is not an effective way to learn. Rather, it involves taking the time to step away from a problem and allow the more relaxed and creative part of the brain to take over. The learning strategies in this book apply not only to math and science, but to any subject in which we struggle. We all have what it takes to excel in areas that don't seem to come naturally to us at first, and learning them does not have to be as painful as we might think.

4. Train Your Brain

Would you like to sharpen your memory? Would you like to keep your brain agile and focused? Would you like to age-proof your brain so that it stays young, healthy and fit? Then this is the book for you! Train Your Brain is a book of puzzles, exercises, riddles, and brain games that will help boost your brain power and jump start your brain! Whether you are a teenager, young adult, or a senior citizen, this book provides a vigorous mental workout to help increase your memory, sharpen your deductive and mathematical skills, improve your observation, increase your problem-solving skills, and improve the overall health of your brain. • More than 100 fun, brain-enhancing exercises, puzzles, and riddles. • 50 neurobic exercises that you can practice anytime, anywhere. • 66 popular games that will help you polish your cognitive skills.

6. Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long

In Your Brain at Work, David Rock takes readers inside the heads—literally—of a modern two-career couple as they mentally process their workday to reveal how we can better organize, prioritize, remember, and process our daily lives. Rock, the author of Quiet Leadership and Personal Best, shows how it’s possible for this couple, and thus the reader, not only to survive in today’s overwhelming work environment but succeed in it—and still feel energized and accomplished at the end of the day.

7. Unlimited Memory: How to Use Advanced Learning Strategies to Learn Faster, Remember More, and Be More Productive

With over 300,000 copies sold, Unlimited Memory is a Wall Street Journal Best Seller and has been the #1 memory book on Amazon for more than two years. It has been translated into more than a dozen languages including French, Chinese, Russian, Korean, Ukrainian, and Lithuanian.

Most people never tap into 10% of their potential for memory.

In this book, you're about to learn:

How the World's Top Memory Experts Concentrate and Remember Any Information at Will, and How You Can Too

Do you ever feel like you're too busy, too stressed or just too distracted to concentrate and get work done?

In Unlimited Memory, you'll learn how the world's best memory masters get themselves to concentrate at will, anytime they want. When you can easily focus and concentrate on the task at hand, and store and recall useful information, you can easily double your productivity and eliminate wasted time, stress and mistakes at work.

In this book, you'll find all the tools, strategies and techniques you need to improve your memory.

Here’s just a taste of the memory methods you'll learn in this book:

The 3 bad habits that keep you from easily remembering important information

How a simple pattern of thinking can stop you from imprinting and remembering key facts, figures and ideas, and how to break this old pattern so you’ll never again be known as someone with a “bad memory”

How to master your attention so you can focus and concentrate longer, even during challenging or stressful situations

How to use your car to remember anything you want (like long lists or information you need to remember for your studies or personal life) without writing anything down

Simple methods that allow you to nail down tough information or complex concepts quickly and easily

How to combine your long-term memory (things you already know and will never forget) and short-term memory (information you want to remember right now) to create instant recall for tests, presentations and important projects

The simple, invisible mental technique for remembering names without social awkwardness or anxiety

How using your imagination to bring boring information to life can help you dramatically improve your attention span and recall

An incredible strategy for remembering numbers (the same system Kevin used to remember Pi to 10,000 digits and beat the world memory record by 14 minutes)

How to use a mental map to lock in and connect hundreds or even thousands of ideas in your long-term memory (this method will allow you to become a leading expert in your field faster than you ever dreamed possible)

8. Calm Your Mind: Break the Cycle of Anxiety, Stress, Unhappiness, Exhaustions, and Find Peace in a Rushed World

Overwhelmed by the demands of a fast-paced world? Want to reduce your stress and anxiety?

Endless worrying is mostly the byproduct of unconscious living.

What makes you anxious: your lifestyle, your prospects for the future, or the shadows of the past?

If you’re desperate to slow down and find inner peace, mindfulness is the solution you’re looking for.

In Calm Your Mind, bestselling author Steven Schuster will help you to find back your way to the present moment following a few simple yet powerful principles. They don’t require more than a few minutes of practice daily. Their impact, however, is monumental with long-term benefits.

Improve your focus and productivity.

The book will not only show you the best practices to find peace of mind but will also help you transform these practices into daily, automatic habits. The wholeness you’re so keen to find is already within you. Practicing mindfulness is the key to channel those parts of your brain.

Learn to exclude the junk from your thoughts.

•Improve your focus and attention during your everyday activities •How to bring awareness to your life and practice conscious living •Become more decisive, disciplined, and calm

Become aware of the person you truly are.

•Learn how can you "calm your mind" •The best tips to manage your energy •The scientifically proven benefits of practicing mindfulness •How to overcome your discouraging and negative thoughts

Stop being the victim of your circumstances. Be aware and thus prepared to overcome them.

Mindfulness helps you experience a deep feeling of happiness and peace. It seeps into everything you do. You can meet the worst that life throws at you with courage, discipline, and determination. Life will make sense because you’ll be in greater control of it.

[kisskissbanggang]

Can’t Keep Away

[~2K Words — Jealous!Jaehyun x Female Reader — Smut, Porn with some plot — Rough sex, dubious consent, orgasm denial, panty ripping, ethical grey areas, toxic relationships]

[Angry/Jealous sex with Jaehyun for anon]

You grinned, giddy as you led Mark to your front door. Dating after college really was so much better. You felt empowered to really do things your own way, including setting a pace that would ensure Mark would be back in a couple days, eager to get something done. However, he'd have to wait for you. Until then, you were content having honest relationships where you could talk and hang out and become closer. You'd had relationships like that before, even before you graduated, but it felt so much more gratifying to know that since then, they were all like that. You paused at the door, pressing a sweet kiss to Mark's lips. He was still nearly delirious from how excited he'd gotten in your bedroom.

"You know," Mark laughed, "I don't really have to go back to work tonight. I'll just get fired and we can finally have sex." You playfully pushed him. "Or," you said, "you can be even more satisfied when I'm so ready to get there that I'm suddenly begging for you."

"That sounds good, too. Really good." He pressed a kiss to your cheek before letting himself out your front door, except for the unexpected presence in your doorway barring him from leaving.

Jaehyun, looking stunned, was standing on your front step with his work bag slung over his shoulder and his keys in his hands, as if he were about to open your door. You all took a moment to really let the tension permeate the air. You felt your stomach knot.

"Uhm, honey? I got off work early tonight..." Jaehyun's voice quivered. Mark looked to you, horrified. Before you even had a chance to speak, he was out of your apartment. You could see him clench his fists before running them through his hair, clearly embarrassed and frustrated.

You were livid. Jaehyun slipped off his scarf as he entered your home, backing you up into your entranceway. He bit into the finger of his gloves to ease them off, giggling to himself the whole time. You threw the scarf back at him as he slipped off his jacket and hung it on a hook. Like he belonged here.

"You asshole," you seethed, "how long were you waiting to pull that one?"

"How long have you been with that one?" He quirked his eyebrows at you as he pulled off his other glove.

"We literally just started seeing each other last week."

"And now I'm seeing you tonight." Before you had a chance to retort, Jaehyun stepped forward, closing the space between you. He put a firm hand to your chin, his thumb tracing your bottom lip. You hated him in this moment, but you still felt your lips automatically part for him, your tongue instinctively reaching out to meet his finger. The gleam in his eyes shined and for a moment, you rightfully panicked. He pulled your jaw down, open enough for him to shove his gloves into your mouth. He spun you around, swatting away both your scrambling hands as he bear-hugged you into a lift. You screamed, a muffled plea as you kicked to be put down. He carried you straight to your bedroom and dropped you to the floor. He kicked the door closed behind him and got down to meet you at eye level on the ground. He kissed your forehead and gently helped you back up, carefully pulling the gloves from your mouth. He pulled you close, his warm embrace making you hate how much you missed him. You felt the angry tears stinging your eyes, making your mascara smudge. Jaehyun closed the distance between your lips, but left you in charge of whether or not this was going to happen. As much as you wanted him to leave, you also wanted him to stay. You pressed your lips to his, just as angry with yourself as you were with him.

You brought out the worst in each other. You had met Jaehyun in your last year of college, at your part-time job as a receptionist for a law firm downtown. Jaehyun had come for a job interview. He didn't get the job, but he had gotten your phone number. The relationship was fast and turbulent. You never really sorted out any conflicts, and eventually everything turned ugly. After plenty of broken dishes and desperate make-up sex, you'd had enough. You both graduated, and suddenly Jaehyun was gone. Gone, but not entirely. It'd been almost a year, but you knew he was around, still following you online, still around when he was in town, keeping up with you through friends of friends. You'd had a suspicion that Jaehyun had meddled with some of your possible relationships before, but now you were sure of it. Everything would be great, until every one of them got cold feet. Suddenly they were all afraid of commitment. Now you knew why.

You pushed him away, breaking your kiss. "Why?" You asked him quietly. He stifled a laugh. "Why?!" You pressed again, "Why don't you want me to be happy?"

"Because you're happiest when we do this." He smirked as he closed in on you once again, herding you back towards your bed. He gently but firmly pushed you down, lowering himself to trap your hips under his. He was noticeably hard already. You couldn't tell if your hands clutching his shirt were pushing him away or pulling him closer. He pressed his lips to your neck right below your ear, using every trick he knew to get you to squirm. His hands made quick work of lifting the cute blouse you'd worn to work today, his fingers sliding under your bra to fondle your breasts. You let out a frustrated moan as he nibbled on your neck. He always was the best. You felt your hips involuntarily rock against his. He really was getting you worked up. His hands left your breasts and you could feel him gently, firmly, trace down your tummy down to your core. He pushed your skirt up your thighs and rested his palm against your heat. You instinctively rubbed against him, the wetness between your legs making you yearn for him even more. You knew you needed more, but you knew he'd never learn if you never made him leave. You felt yourself trying to push him off of you as he rubbed you, and he felt it, too. He pulled back, doubting how much he wanted to push you. However, seeing any crack in his tough exterior energized you. Suddenly, you wanted to make him squirm just as badly. You kicked him off and pounced on top of him, straddling his hips. You slipped your blouse off and he immediately reached for your breasts. You smacked his hand away. "Is this what you wanted?" You growled at him. You backed up just enough to get a good handful of him, making him groan and buck against you. You loved this feeling. You quickly undid his belt and released him from his slacks. You stroked him, slow from base to tip just how he liked it. "You wanted someone on your level, didn't you? You wanted the best one you've ever had?" You were far gone by now. He was groaning, loud, thrusting into your hand to try and speed you up, but you've been on this ride before. You bucked his hips back down on the mattress, interrupting his rhythm as you stroked him painfully slow. "You know," you teased, "this is how I touch all the boys now."

You wanted Jaehyun to know how much he hurt you, how much he fucked up your night. The look on his face said he got the message, but it only made him more jealous. He pushed you back enough to kick you off, throwing you off the bed. He stormed over to you, grabbing you by the hem of your skirt as you kicked and struggled, dragging you across the room before propping you up to kneel with your back to your bedroom door. He thumbed your mouth open again as you looked up at him expectantly. You locked eyes as he slid his hot cock down your throat. He knew how much you could take, and he went there. He gripped your hair as he pumped hard into your mouth. You pressed against his thighs, trying to get any room to breathe, and he grabbed your wrists and pinned them over your head. The gagging made tears stream down your face and you fought for air. You knocked twice on the door above you, an old signal from when you used to play like this. He reluctantly backed up, easing out of your mouth and admiring the saliva dripping down your chin. You flashed a wicked smile at him. "If you finish like this," you said, still struggling to pull your wrists away, "it'll be the second load I swallow tonight."

That did it. Jaehyun yanked you up, first by your wrists still in his vice grip, then by a fistful of your hair. You whimpered and laughed at him, knowing how mad you made him. He picked you up and threw you the few steps to the bed. You landed and managed to scramble away from under him, struggling to quickly open your door and stumble down the hall. You didn't even necessarily need him to leave, you just wanted a second for everything to calm down. But you wouldn't get one. You tripped and you felt a swift hand grab your ankle, wrenching you back into him. He shoved your shoulders down so he could unzip your skirt. He threw the garment aside and before you could warn him you heard it. Jaehyun ripped your panties to dip his long fingers into you. You struggled to stop moaning long enough to tell him off for ruining something so expensive, but the chance never came. He knew exactly what he was doing. He pumped his fingers into you, know just what he needed to do to make you cum on your knees right there on the floor. You didn't even fight it. You let him, only, he decided against it. You got right to the precipice when he suddenly pulled out of you. You rolled out and away from him, growling at him all the while. "You son of a bitch," you roared, "you never let me have anything!" You quickly got up and made to lock yourself in the bathroom, something you knew he'd hate, but he saw it coming. He lunged forward and grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you into him before he could pick you up and slam you against the wall with his hips. He picked up your legs so you were wrapped around him. You yelled out, only making him laugh at you again. "Alright, you mean slut, are you still on the pill?" You struggled hard against him, "Yes, you dumb asshole, you know I am."

He buried his face in your neck and you felt his hard cock rub against your entrance. You gasped, just like you did every time he slid inside you. He was done being patient. He wanted what he came here for. He thrust into you roughly, almost growling as he bit into your shoulder. You clutched him tightly, chasing your orgasm. He threaded a hand through your hair and you look at him. "Tell me I'm the best," he groaned, "tell me you missed this." You felt yourself throb around him. "You insecure asshole," you moaned, "you know you are. You know I did. Now the least you can do tonight is make me cum." You both shared an exhausted laugh as he thrust harder into you, sending you over the edge. You nearly screamed, clutching him tighter as he chased his orgasm right behind yours. He rode it out and held you, giving you both a chance to breathe. "I'm sorry," he panted, "I just really wanted to be with you again." You stroked his hair, just like you'd done so many times. Part of you didn't want him to leave, and part of you never wanted to see him again.

[Prologue: Won’t Keep Away]

[witchoflavender]

31 Spooky Things to do in October as a Witch

One for each day. I put them in an order that made sense to me, but some of these you could definitely move around. Also, the focus is on witchy stuff, but most of this works as just something fun to do!

1. Catch a falling leaf 🍂

Catching a fallen leaf is said to be good luck. Keep it on your altar for the whole month. 

2. Put up some decorations / Decorate altar  📿

If you haven't already, now is a good time to pull out your spooky fall decor. If you already have some, touch up or add to it.Ideas for altar:

fallen leaves

skulls

nuts, acorns

harvest vegetables like pumpkins and squash

Halloween decor

3. Use fall scents 💧

Scents are tied to emotion. Using the same scents year after year builds strong emotional memories. Herbal scents can also be used for their magical properties; for instance, cinnamon is protective and energizing.

4. Listen to spooky music 🎶

Good way to get in the mood! Save your favorites to put in a playlist later (see #12)!

5. Wear fall colors ❤️🧡💛💚

Reds, oranges, browns, and dark greens are typical. 

6. Buy a pumpkin (or a few!)  🎃

Preferably at a pumpkin patch! Picking out your own is extra fun. Larger ones are good for carving. Smaller ones make cute decor. Don't carve any yet though—at best they only last around a week. (See Day 24 for tips on how to help preserve it!) You can empower them to repel negativity and to protect your home, much like jack-o-lanterns’ original purpose.

7. Read a spooky story  📕

Doesn't have to be horror if you don't enjoy it! There are plenty of mysterious stories that suit this time of year.

8. Drink hot chocolate, apple cider, or pumpkin flavored drink  ☕️

I know I'll be drinking more than one pumpkin spice latte this month haha.

You can make your own apple cider from regular apple juice. Just add cinnamon (a must), allspice, nutmeg, and/or cloves (the last three are more optional). To add a magical flare, you can enchant the ingredients or stir in energy. 

9. Plan Halloween costume, Halloween day events 👹

Decide what you are going to wear and what you are going to do on the day of. You may want to carve some time for witchy activities, as well as time for trick or treating, or for having a party.

10. Perform some form of divination  🔮

I find this time of year divination is particularly strong. 

11. Watch a spooky show  📺

Suggestions:

Over the Garden Wall - a short and sweet cartoon about two brothers traveling through the Unkown

The Twilight Zone - imagine I don't need to explain this one!

Stranger Things - the first season is especially good. Set in the 80s and takes a lot of inspiration from the media of that decade

Gravity Falls - cute, kids dealing with supernatural activity in their town

X-files - it's a classic for a reason. Two FBI agents investigate supposed paranormal events

12. Make a Halloween playlist  🎧

This is something you can listen to all month long, and is especially useful if you are planning on a party at the end of the month. You can even build on this year after year, updating it to reflect your changing taste. Useful in music witchcraft.

13. Eat a caramel apple  🍎

Here's a tip: while the classic caramel apple on a stick is certainly cute, it's way easier to eat if you cut the apple into slices!

14. Take a (safe) night hike  🌲

It's good to get outside and feel the changing air. Just don’t go off alone into the woods during the middle of the night!

15. Play a spooky game  🎮

Or watch a let's play, if you'd rather!

OFF - horrifying at times but not gorey, great soundtrack and fun gameplay

Yume Nikki - a slow paced and atmospheric game where you travel through dreams

Oxenfree - much more thriller than outright horror, a group of teens find themselves in the middle of strange occurrences

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - one of the more intense horror games out there!

Five Nights at Freddie's - it may be seen as slightly "cringey" now but it's a genuinely good game.

16. Make/buy popcorn balls 🍿

These are easy to make and yummy

17. Gather a pile of leaves and jump in  🍁

If you live in a place with enough leaves. If not, collect some leaves for more indoor decor.

18. Go to a corn maze  🌽 🌽 🌽

These are simple but fun.

19. Watch a spooky movie 📽️

The Sixth Sense - this ghost movie is famous for a major twist. If you don't know it, it's really interesting! If you do know, it's fun to rewatch and see the foreshadowing.

Ghostbusters - either the classic one or the all-women remake; both are fun.

Us - my only recommendations I haven't actually seen, but I've heard the entire plot and think it sounds worth watching. Involves doppelgängers seeking revenge. Falls solidly in the horror category.

Nightmare Before Christmas - did you know this movie was directed by Henry Selick, NOT Tim Burton? He was a producer, and came up with the initial concept, but he was mostly uninvolved with the day-to-day of production.

Practical Magic - a family of witches dealing with a generational curse. The power of family and romantic love.

20. Visit a graveyard (respectfully!) ⚰️

Graveyards are interesting historical sites as well as a place to honor the dead. It's healthy to acknowledge and reflect on death occasionally. 

21. Create a fall or Halloween aesthetic board 🌆

What do you think of when you think of this season? Can be a starting point for art magic.

22. Contemplate Autumn  🌾

It's a time of the harvest, a time of change. Maybe do some meditation or journaling if you feel like it.

23. Buy fall produce 🍠

Buying seasonal produce gets you in tune with that energy, not to mention it just tends to taste better!

24. Carve a jack-o-lantern  🎃

Or you can use easier, no-carve methods, such as drawing on with sharpie. If you do carve, here are some tips:

Wash the outside of the pumpkin first. This prevents mold from getting in.

If you plan on putting it over a candle, it is easier to carve out the bottom instead of the top. This also helps it last longer.

Scoop in a spiral, focusing on cutting the strings. Then the insides should come out more easily.

Rinse it out with a diluted bleach solution. Wait for this to dry a bit.

Cut time! Plan with a marker first, and keep in mind small pieces may break.

Sprinkle the inside with lemon (for preservation) and cinnamon (for the smell!)

Rub the cut edges with vaseline, again for preservation.

Don't leave it out in the heat. If you live somewhere hot, try keeping it inside, especially during the daytime.

25. Tell (or read) ghost stories around a fire  👻

If you can get together a group of friends, all the better, but reading on your own works too. 

26. Make pumpkin pie  🥧

I. love. pumpkin pie. If you don't though, any type of pie is good! Baking is inherently magical to me.

27. Go to a haunted house. 🏚️

You can drive to one, or sometimes someone in the neighborhood will set one up.

28. Finish costume prep 🧵

If you need to buy some prop and haven't yet, do it! If you're DIYing it, make sure everything is complete. 

29. Finish decorations, Ancestor altar  🕯️

If there is anything else you want put up, make sure it's done. Now is also a good time to set up an ancestor altar. Gather photographs, heirlooms and other mementos of deceased family, friends, or even pets. Set it up in an attractive way.

And don't forget to buy candy for trick-or-treaters!

30. Wear something Halloween related—it's tomorrow! 🧣

Orange and black colors, spiders and pumpkins and bats.

31. Halloween! 💀

Be sure to enjoy the day.

As for witchy activities, it's a good time for divination. You can put out an offering of food and cider or mead, then light the candles on your ancestor altar. You can try communicating with them, through divination or other methods, or simply let them know you are thinking of them. 

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 128

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 30 - “Amazing Power! Precure’s Great Transformation!!” Date watched: 9 June 2019 Original air date: 3 September 2006 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/jfdQJOk Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

Gohyaan forgot to look at the schedule   

When we left off, Gohyaan had kidnapped Flappi and Choppi and retreated to Dark Fall, leaving Saki, Mai, Moop, and Foop in shock. We meet up with them the next day at school, as Saki and Mai are extremely dejected. However, after school they vow to search for their missing partners. They search the beach, as well as the Sky Tree, but come up with no leads. However, Miss Shitataare is still fuming over Gohyaan stealing her thunder, so she pays the girls a visit and coyly leads them to Gohyaan’s hideout. Although initially taken aback by the intrusion, he quickly slips back into taunting Saki and Mai by showing them how he’s tortured Flappi and Choppi.

Then he throws the spirits at their feet, saying he’s gotten all the information he can from them. Saki and Mai scream at Gohyaan that they’ll never forgive him. He brushes this off, because he’s not interested in their forgiveness, and asks what they will do instead, daring them to transform, but the Flower and Bird spirits are too weak to transform Saki and Mai into Precure. Moop and Foop try to apologize to their seniors but Gohyaan takes the chance to capture them instead, and then prepares to destroy Saki and Mai with a gigantic energy ball. The girls bravely stare imminent death in the face and vow that they’ll never give up, because they know if they remain strong in spirit, their wishes will always be granted! It’s a powerful speech, but Gohyaan still isn’t impressed, dismissing their chatter as cliched. Saki and Mai reiterate that the two of them are friends with each other, with Flappi and Choppi, and with Moop and Foop, and that all of their friends are precious to them and they will protect the fairies with their lives! Just as Gohyaan is about to strike the killing blow, Moop and Foop are empowered by the outpouring of love and break free of their restraints, and they fly back to Saki, Mai, Flappi, and Choppi, and encase all of them in glowing light.

Flappi and Choppi are healed and re-energized, and Moop and Foop transfer their powers of Moon and Wind into them. The two larger fairies suddenly transform into their alternate modes, but these aren’t the Mix Communes. Instead they turn into new forms: the Crystal Communes! A new power is being born! Saki and Mai are confused about the change but with no time to worry about such things, they let the spirits guide them into transforming and lo and behold, when they transform this time, they emerge not as Cure Bloom and Cure Egret, but in all new forms.... Cure Bright and Cure Windy, the precures of the Moon and Wind!

The girls don’t have much time to marvel over their new appearances before Gohyaan sets about trying to destroy them again (rude). However, they find that these new forms come with greater power and abilities than they’ve ever experienced, and they manage to gain the upper hand in the battle! Moop and Foop chip in again and give the duo the Spiral Rings, but this time the center emblem is in the shape of a five-pointed star rather than a heart. Gohyaan taunts that he’s going to show the girls a sliver of his true power, and it is strong, but they remain resolute, and with the Spiral Rings equipped, now their attacks are even stronger, even  faster, even more dangerous to the beings of darkness than ever, so they overpower the imp and perform their new finisher: Precure Spiral Star Splash!

Unfortunately, he gets away before we can see the full effect of the attack, but the finisher was powerful enough to bring down Gohyaan’s entire hideout, so the girls flee back through the portal in the ceiling they came in by, suggesting Miss Shitataare left them the escape route. She’s a curious one. Anyway, Saki and Mai regroup with all their fairy partners back at the Sky Tree and the mascots thank the girls for saving them. Saki and Mai push back, though, saying they powered up because everyone’s feelings came together as one to produce a miracle, and with that the episode ends on a beautiful sunset atop the hill.

(okay there’s also some jokes about how Saki and Mai still haven’t finished their summer homework, but given the circumstances, how could they?)

Where do I start with this episode? The epic conclusion to the dramatic cliffhanger from last week, culminating in Saki and Mai receiving a powerup and becoming Cures Bright and Windy! This is one of the defining moments of the show. Although the concept of multiple forms would be revisited in a few different ways in the subsequent years, Splash Star is still the only show where the girls have two separate transformations with different names. Cure Bright, obviously, represents the Moon, while Cure Windy’s motif is pretty self-explanatory. They showcase greater ability than they had as Bloom and Egret, being able to control light and summon strong gusts of wind. Their spirit power is strong and they withstand a flood thrown at them by Gohyaan. With the Spiral Rings their power is even further amplified and they are able to send Gohyaan running for the hills even with his great strength. As the representation of the bond between the girls and fairies, and what’s possible when they join their individual strengths together, it’s beautiful.

On the villain side, the level of treachery Miss Shitataare demonstrates is almost amazing! She is so determined to be Akudaikaan’s right hand, and in denial about her own failures, that on the cusp of a victory for Dark Fall, she brings their greatest enemy into the fold just to sabotage Gohyaann. Her actions bring the girls and their fairies so close to the edge that they unlock an all-new power, which will definitely come back to haunt her soon. Animosity between villains is nothing new in superhero shows, but infighting to the degree seen here is a rarity. I’m impressed. I kind of think I might have been reading her character wrong all this time. I initially thought of her as being similar to Poisony from the first season, who was fairly good at using disguises and sneaking into places to lay traps for the Precures, but she’s really nothing like that. While she uses disguises, they don’t often serve any purpose to her plots. Miss Shitataare cares only for herself and her well-being, she’s very strong but she doesn’t have a lot of foresight. If she did, she would realize that helping the girls win this time just to spite Gohyaan would definitely come back to bite her.

Finally, this is the last episode in which the current ending theme, “'Smiling is Victory' so GO!” by Mayumi Goji plays. I have failed to talk about it for the last 6 months, and this is my last chance, so let’s dig into it.

It’s a bit more melodic than some previous tunes, though it still has that upbeat cheering going on. The lyrics are about how the future is bright even if the present is rocky, so press on and be happy. The visuals show Saki and Mai, separately, engaged in their favorite pastimes: softball and drawing. At sunset, they stand apart from each other and timidly reach out to hold hands, before running home. That night, they each look at the stars from their homes as the lyrics talk about the possibility of never being happy again, and how life is a roller coaster of emotions. Then a meteor shower starts as the lyrics turn more positive. The next day, the two are sitting under the Sky Tree, basking in nature’s beauty. Next we see them running along the beach, turn to each other, and slowly grasp hands again, this time their fingers intertwined, and they stare at each other with huge smiles on their faces.

Then they go back to playing on the beach as the sun shines on a bright friendship and future.

Depending on your read of the song and visuals, it is either about two strangers becoming friends, or it’s super gay. I like the SakiMai ship but I’m not going to weigh in on this matter any further than that. It’s a nice, mid-beat (is that a term?) song with some striking visuals, I think the most striking of any of the FW trio ending songs, and what replaces it is the start of a franchise staple.

Next time, the status quo returns, and we get some of the hardest content to translate to a non-Japanese audience: manzai comedy. Look forward to it, maybe.

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 Zekkouchou Nari!

Miracle Drop Count: 5

[conscious-love]

You cannot save everyone

By: Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders

"It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control." — Iyanla Vanzant

Your life is meant for so much more than being a life-long doormat for deadbeats, losers, gossipers, nay-sayers, dream-crushers, energy vampires, users, abusers, ragers and passive-aggressive backstabbers. Some of these people are rabidly-infected with obvious madness. Some have less obvious ways, such as the "helpful" enabler, who sends you off to your destruction with a helping hand and a smile. Some are "doubt-whisperers," who plant seeds of non-belief in your heart to take root, only so they can then console you in your inevitable moment of defeat. There are also perpetual victims who feed on your constant attention. Call them what you want, you know exactly who I am talking about. One thing always reveals their sometimes hidden identity — after you have been around them, consider how you feel; have you been depleted and drained, or energized and inspired?

"From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead." — Anais Nin

A person at peace can immediately recognize a consciousness in crisis, whereas those in crisis cannot fully understand themselves or others. People often turn away from good advice because they need something another person can never give them — discovery. As much as we would like to help others avoid pain, sometimes we have to let go and allow them to receive their own painful lessons. Suffering is one of life's great teachers. You cannot save people from themselves. All you can do is stand firmly in your hopes for them, with compassion.

I know you want to be a good person and be helpful to people in need, but it's impossible to give to others if your energy has already been used-up. Being a good person has nothing to do with allowing people to destroy you. There are limits. You can best help others from a position of strength, not weakness. So, don't forget to be good to yourself first. Don't forget to take care of you! It is never cruel to want to save yourself from being swamped by fools. You cannot save everyone. Some people are going to destroy themselves no matter how much you try to help them. Their lives are full of emptiness, chaos, and dysfunction, and they will bring their misery and pain into your life with full-force if you allow it. Then there are others who have the outward appearance of success and are seemingly not self-destructive in nature. These people do not destroy themselves, but instead survive through the destruction of others — these are the users. Either of these types of people will latch-on to you in a death-spiral and take you down to the depths of hell with them — if you allow it. This is your life, and you have the right and responsibility to make good decisions for yourself.

"You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people." — Joel Osteen

You must firmly, absolutely and ruthlessly protect your safety and sanity. Misery loves good company, so if you are surrounded with drama, gossip and fools you may want to consider that you are presently at risk of becoming one of them. The real zombie apocalypse is the pandemic of drama and mediocrity. Troublemakers will infect you with the malady of their madness. And especially, if your positivity immune system is low, any exposure to a person afflicted with negativity can poison your life. You have to get these people out of your life once and for all. One of the fastest ways you can profoundly change your life is to rid yourself of toxic people. When you do come in contact with one of these people, run for your life. Get to safety. Meditatively and spiritually decontaminate yourself. Scrub down your brain with a wire-brush and remove their insanity from the corridors of your mind. Inoculate yourself immediately by creating a safe space and aligning yourself with healthy people. If you have to go it alone for a while until you find your healthy tribe and chosen family, that is fine. Being alone is much better than being around negative people out of loneliness or desperation.

"Inoculate yourself from dangerous bozos." — Guy Kawasaki

Boundaries and risk management are very important parts of living a healthy and positive life. Even professional therapists, psychologists, and social workers draw boundaries to limit exposure to their clients. What makes you think you can handle unlimited exposure to toxic people and survive? You can still be a charitable person who helps and cares about people, without helping those very people destroy your life. Learn how to draw a line and learn how to enforce it — let people know what is and what is not accepted by you. Get selfish and take care of you. Cleanliness and order are good Feng Shui, which applies to people even more than it does to the things in your life. You must clear out what you don't want, to make room for what you do want to arrive. The way to send a clear message that you are ready for better people in your life is to kick the rascals to the curb. The intimate space of your personal life should be reserved for amazing, beautiful, radiant souls — good, wholesome and loving people. Your truest family is your chosen family, people with whom you most identify. Make a clear decision on the type of people you want in your life and if they don't make the cut, create some distance. It doesn't matter if it is a close relative, a parent or a childhood friend; no matter the history — when people are toxic, disruptive and dysfunctional with no reasonable signs of recovery, then they need to go. Escaping a toxic relationship can feel like breaking a piece of your heart off; like a wolf chews its leg off to escape a steel trap. Leaving is never easy, but sometimes it's necessary to save yourself, and others, from dying inside. Love toxic people from a distance.

"The company you keep not only defines you but binds you, strive always to seek the company of the truth." — Panache Desai

Now could be the time to walk away; hell, you may even need to run. Haven't you been listening to your inner-voice? Be honest, your gut has been screaming but you have been ignoring it. How much more of your life are you going to throw-away for a lie? Accept it. Some people never change. Some people have abusive, negative, controlling tendencies in their blood; they are wired for havoc, bickering and deception. They know of no other way to interface with others except through their created chaos. Chaos is their home-court advantage where they play their mind-games so they can have power over you; it's a rigged game you can never win. They will wear you ragged and bring you to your knees emotionally and physically. In time they will destroy every wonderful thing you have in your life. You are in danger: your health, your peace of mind, your happiness and maybe even your life. There is more than one way to lose your life; quickly through violence, or fettered-away and wasted around dreadful, toxic people. You must take control of your life and make good decisions for yourself. The insanity must end, for your sake and for theirs.

"End it now! Don't waste another minute dealing with a toxic, negative, energy-draining person. ... Don't waste valuable time trying to change them. Change yourself and get them out of your life! Don't say a word; leave all of your belongings if you have to in the middle of the night. Cut off all communication. Don't take their calls. You have heard all the lies before. They will not change. They don't choose to change. It is who they have decided to be. Move to another city, if you must, and start all over again. Your life is worth it. You deserve to have peace of mind, a great relationship and an exciting life." — Les Brown

Sometimes a person needs us to abandon them, but we hang-on anyway, which can be devastating for both parties. Helping others can sometimes even be a convenient distraction from addressing our own unresolved issues. When someone you know is so toxic and destructive that they are poisoning your life, you have to create some distance. They need you to walk away as much as you need it. People who are out of control desperately need to observe your healthy boundaries in-action to learn from your example. You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours on them. There is a difference between giving-up and strategic disengagement. Know the difference. Learn how to let people go. Stop holding-on to the wrong people. Let them go on their own way; if not for you, then for them.

"Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny." — Dr. Steve Maraboli

You can help others once you are safe, secure and successful in your own life. Practically every successful person you know of is successful, in part, because they moved the destructive and disruptive people out of their lives. Successful people carefully manage their energy and associations; they are gatekeepers. Who you allow into your life, mind and heart are among the most important decisions you will ever make. Take inventory of the people with whom you spend the most time. Who you spend your time with is who you are, or who you will soon become. Limit your exposure to unhealthy and unsupportive people. Love yourself enough to say no to people who diminish your chances for a beautiful and empowered life. Sometimes you have to get away from what you know to discover what you don't know. It is time for the abuse, control, lies and negativity to end. Align yourself with a new tribe of healthy people who are supportive of your highest good and greatest potential. Find the people who are living the positive lifestyle you wish for yourself and who share your values, and create a new family of friends that you can call, "home." Your new positive and supportive tribe will edify you, strengthen you and empower you to serve others in ways you would have never before imagined. Taking care of yourself is the most powerful way to begin to take care of others. It is not too late for you. It is never too late to begin loving yourself again. It is never too late to have the life you deserve. Healing for everyone begins with self-love — starting right now.

"Pause and remember— You deserve peace! So, don't feel bad for one moment about walking away from people, jobs, and situations that keep you from having peace of mind." — Jenni Young

[williamshieldshorses]

A gift for YOU...as promised:)

 In a past POST I wrote about ‘Subliminal Programming’. In an nutshell it is a process where information is sent to your brain by-passing your conscious mind.

 In the 1950′s they inserted the words ‘Drink Coke’ into a film that was being shown in a typical movie theater. Once the movie started playing, the concession stand was out of ‘Coke” in 15 minutes. Since then, it has been supposedly banned from all forms of visual entertainment except  written words and pictures: porn mags and women’s magazines such as ‘Cosmopolitan’ are FULL of it as are Billboards. Movies are probably the same but are NOT SUPPOSED TO BE. One glance of about 1-2 seconds and you’ve been “hit”.  Studies have been done to find out the most successful words to be be used to get you to buy products, believe a certain way, etc.

   The OTHER SIDE of this is its use in programming you to be a better person; think more positively, feel better about yourself. One such company that creates  music CDs with subliminal messages that help you with all sorts of issues from deeper meditations, to accepting wealth to learning how to forgive is called BrainSync by Kelley Howell. I;ve used her CDs for years and have found them to be tremendously helpful in altering mySelf ‘from the inside out”.

OK................

That being said,here is something I created  that is a ‘form’ of subliminal programming in that YOU make it work by how you use it. I call it “Scannings”. If you look at it it’s just a series of words loosely centered around a theme with the injections of “I am” and You are” throughout the page.

1. What you need to do is to copy and paste it into a ‘word program’ and then print it out as a single page. Now you’ll notice that it is NOT made up of full lines here although it IS on my original. I tried several times to reduce the font on MY side and then paste it here but that didn’t work. It MUST be in FULL LINES with the ‘stars’ between each word  for your eyes to be able to ‘glide’ over the words without getting caught on a word at the end of a space. So copy it as it is onto YOUR word program and then adjust the font so that all the lines are about the same length.

2. Once you get it copied, put it somewhere in your home that you will notice it.

3. When you feel ‘moved’ to use it, take a couple of deep breathes, calm your mind and, if you can, ‘blank it’ for this moment and then simply move your eyes around the page trying NOT to focus or start thinking about, any particular word. You can spiral into the center and then out again; you can move your eyes in a ‘figure-8; WHATEVER works for you. Do this for about 20 seconds and then go on and do your normal routine. Mine are on the fridge. I’ll stop, chill and scan for about 20 seconds and then keep doing what I was doing. You don’t have to “think about it - let the Mind just ‘take it in’.

4. Do #3 at least twice-a-day until it becomes more of a part of your routine but NOT a drudgery!  You want your Mind to simply accept what is being given to you without analysis. The whole reason you’d use this process is to get the positive programming PAST any past or present negative beliefs that you have set up in your mind. 

                                        Prosperity Scannings

                           Attraction * Harmony * Riches * Lucky * Successful * Mine * Joyous * Focused  Alive * Truthful * Happiness * Creativity * Wealthy * Fun * Thankful * Warm  Respectful * Gifted * Flowing * Abundant * Good * Money * Sharing * You are Trusting * Light * Joyful * Fearless * Now * Magnetic * Accepting * Mine * I am Receiving * Consistent * Worthy * Free * Openness * Healthy * Secure * Natural  Easily * Spirit * Okay * Attracting * Optimistic * Responsible  * Light * Enjoying Accepting * Harmony * Deserving * Flow * Opportunity * Balance * Miracles  Healed * Good * Confidence * I am * Responsible * Successful * Thankful * Easy Unlimited * Joyful * Alive * Wealth * Progressive * Thanks * Prosperity * Source  Transformed * Loving * Growth * Open * Deservedness * Good * Fearless Blessed * Harmony * Valued * Well * Positive * Winner * Progression * Open  Success * Changing * Money * Spiritual * Thoughtful * Considerate * Visualize  Happy * Secure * Succeeding* Natural * Attracting * Deserve * Flowing * I am Wonderful * Genuine * Spirit * Warm * Loved * Secure * Confident * Family Trusting * Great * Relaxed * Empowered * Planned * Happy * Wealth * Blessings Mine * Sharing * Strong * Dedicated * Attractive * Riches * Peaceful * Balanced  Empowering * Acceptance * Humane * Peaceful * Here * Unlimited * You are  Deserving * Creativity * Openness * Giving * Ambitious * Directed * Responsible Attraction * Faith-filled * Secure * Allowing * Oneness * Progressive * Mine Healthy Dreams * Well * Magnetic * Succeeding * Peaceful * Enjoying * Guided Truthful * Now * Blessed * Abundant * Natural * Forgiving * Centered * Ease   Whole * Expanding * Strong * Focused * Centered * Spirit * Transforming * Faith Rich * Thankful * Calm * Caring * Fun * Prosperous * Evolving * Healed * Open Determined * Centered  * I am * Receptive * Trusting * Energized * Talented  Anticipation * Benefiting * Willing * Released * Joy * Dedicated * Light * Calm Winner * Positive * Towards * Worthy * Blessed * Smiles * Win * Change * Sharing * Spirit * Honored * Changing * Loved * Money *  Happiness * Winner  Harmony * Likable * Accomplished * Well * More * Genuine *  Successful * Light Mine * Deserving * Miracles * Confident * Resolved * Choice * Willing * Fearless You are * Secure * Expanded * Growing * Flow * Good * Comfortable * Talented Balanced * Happy * Relaxed * Wonderful * Joy * Warm * Peaceful * Appreciated Giving * Centered * Harmonious * Optimistic * Honored * Progression * Worthy  Happy *  Unlimited * Present * Joy * Well * Happy * Faith * Love * Precious  Responsible * Attraction * Thankful * Secure * Rich * Sufficient * Wholeness One  Prosperous * United * Light * Wealthy * Honoring * Open *Learning * I am  Blessed * Abundant * Natural * Forgiving *Fun * Centered * Mine  Releasing  Talented * Determined * Optimistic * Blessing * Continuous * Balanced * Now Valuable * Successful * Willing * Open * Positive * I am * Changed * Calm Relesed * Lucky * Creative * Light  * Empowered * Successful * Happy * Ease Wealthy * Blessed * Okay * Acceptance * Smiling * Peace * Spirit * Light  Deserving * Good * Gifted * Confident * United * Energized Calm * Genuine  Trust * Attraction * Determined * Strong * Ambitious * Winner * Growth * Nice  Dreams * Accomplished * Fulfilment * Visualized * Accept * Manifesting * Gifts  Glad * Attractive * You are * Magnetic * Succeeding *  Fearless  * Relaxed Forgiven * Smiles * Fun * Giving * More * Secure * Increased * Family * Ease  Fearless * Centered * Deservedness * Honor * Faith * Knowing * Flowing   Love Truth * Peaceful * Unity * Well * Better * Forgiving * Progressive * Lovable Uplifted * Open * Free * Balanced * Loved * Peaceful * Whole * Source   Secure Responsible * One * Worthy * Confident * Centered * I am * Humble   Giving  Thankful * Well * Faithfilled * Direct * Whole * Flowing * Here * Open * Focused  Balanced * Now * Attractive * Honored * Progressive * Peaceful *Transforming  Healed * Giving * Prosperous * Easy * Trusting * Receiving * Appreciated

Next time I’ll gift you the Scanning on “Wholeness”

 Be Blessed and Be Well!

[whispersafterdusk]

The Master’s Apprentice - ch 13

Over the two days they'd thus far had to themselves Brelyna and Onmund carefully danced around the subject of 'what happens next?' and in Onmund's case he felt his thoughts had to be a lot...grimmer, darker, than anything Brelyna might be imagining. He had seen the crown and felt its allure - had felt it trying to ensnare him.  He had an idea of what it did and could do, and the more he fretted over what Varea might be doing with it as they waited the more he thought of Cedrore.

Cedrore had already been at the College when Onmund arrived - already an Adept in fact, and because their schedules and skill level differed they'd rarely found time or a reason to speak to one another.  He remembered the dark haired, slender Breton as a quiet man with a habit of fixating on things to such a degree that he could probably tune out a volcano erupting if what he was reading was important enough to him, and that he seemed to just absorb knowledge like a towel absorbed water. Onmund had been pretty certain that Cedrore was the Arch-Mage's favorite student even before the Eye of Magnus was discovered and many shared that opinion (albeit quietly, but not because of jealousy or out of malice...it was just...something that was, like the sun rising). ((Continued below cut))

Because of the favoritism and trust that Cedrore enjoyed he had been the one tasked with locating and retrieving the Staff, and ultimately had been the one who took Ancano down. The problem was that Cedrore hadn't survived that battle; in those few moments between striking Ancano down and the others rushing into the hall he'd died of his injuries...too quickly to even explain where the Eye had disappeared to when they'd found him alone. The similarities between the danger of the Eye and the crown had Onmund wondering if he was destined to be the next Cedrore -- the hero who saves everyone but dies in the end.

Then again, why should he think he'd be the hero at all?  Varea had sacrificed the others to empower herself and had "killed" Kestrel, what if she did that again?  He imagined (or hoped) that Kestrel would have a plan to prevent that from happening a second time...but he wasn't Kestrel.  He wasn't at that level of mastery, and maybe he wasn't even at Cedrore's relative skill level either.  Varea could very likely kill him before he even got a spell off -- some hero he'd be then, right?  

But he knew Brelyna was correct in that he couldn't go into this already expecting to lose; it was just...he couldn't see himself as more than another soon-to-be casualty.  Whatever came next was almost certainly going to hinge on Kestrel's power and have nothing to do with him, and while he could admit to himself that it would be best if he was simply an onlooker and stayed out of the way he hated the feeling of uselessness that came with it.

It took three more days before Kestrel emerged a second time; her illusions were in place and she looked like her "normal" self though Onmund could see a tension in her body language and a steely determination in her eyes when she'd looked him up and down (after startling him by barging into the sitting room where he'd been reading) and wordlessly gestured for him to follow her to one of the few remaining doors he'd never been through.

The door she went to appeared like the others - wood with bronze and iron bands, a latch, and no bigger or smaller than what you'd find in a normal home - but listening to it grind open he realized it was actually about six inches thick, was charged with a magical energy that hadn’t been apparent until it’d opened, and that the latch was actually just for show: she touched the door in a few specific places to trigger the magical lock to release and then it took all of her weight to budge it.  All the noise prompted Brelyna to poke her head out of the library and soon she was standing beside Onmund in the hall as they watched Kestrel push the door open wide enough to allow them to enter; she disappeared into the darkness inside and Onmund followed a moment after, and was blinded when all the candles, lanterns, and a fireplace roared to life within it all in the same instant.

As he blinked the afterimages from his eyes the hair on his arms stood on end -- somewhere very nearby was a source of energy powerful enough that he could feel it without needing to search for it, and once his vision finally cleared he found himself standing in a very narrow and long room, lined to either side with racks of dusty weapons and armor interspersed with trunks and cabinets (and, of course, all the sconces and lanterns and the singular fireplace)...it looked very much like an armory - one he hadn't sensed from outside the room - and as he stepped further inside he suspected that most (if not everything) here had to have once belonged to Kestrel's apprentices as he noted the varying sizes and styles of the objects inside here.

From behind him he heard Brelyna's voice "what IS all of this?" and he waited to hear Kestrel's answer; for a long moment there was no response -- Kestrel was quickly striding to the far end of the room (this room felt more like a hallway than the actual hallway did) and was grabbing pouches and satchels as she went.

And then, "apprentice - find something that fits."

"...what?" came his bewildered response. He looked again at all of the armor around him -- most of what was here were...really, really fancy, really fortified-looking robes, though he did see a few scattered pieces of what he guessed was chainmail, and a single platemail shoulder guard.  "You can't be serious."

She stopped to fix him with a chilling glare and he decided that maybe it'd be best to listen to her and hurried to look over the armor that lined the walls; robes would probably have the best chance of fitting him - they could be tucked, folded, or cinched to adjust for size - and the material of the armor didn't matter much when it was raw magic coming at you.

...well, maybe if it were a conjured blade then it'd make a difference, since that was both magic as well as a physical aspect, but he doubted that Varea or anyone else would bother getting into close range with him.

He found a set of armor that seemed to be a combination of cloth and leather - it had a sort of hood and half cape that covered the left shoulder and part of the thick, stiff chest piece, with the lower half an open wrap over studded leather pants, and the boots that matched (which looked too small) even had metal caps on the toes.  It was an equal balance of warrior, mage, and a lighter touch of a scout's leathers, and the craftsmanship on it was such a high quality that he felt awkward even looking at it -- this sort of thing wasn't for mere apprentices, this was the regalia of some kind of...of...war mage.

When Kestrel noticed he'd stopped in front of that set she left off what she was doing and came over to begin removing it from its stand.

"I - wait, this- I'm not a fighter."

"You've been taught how."

"What am I supposed to do against someone who defeated you?"

Kestrel scoffed and grabbed him by the collar, jerking him around to stand more in the center of the aisle that ran down the middle of the room.  "You will not be handling her, I will.  Now do I have to dress you like a child or merely handle the straps once you've got it on?"

That made him feel only marginally better; he began to pull the armor on and found that it wasn't quite large enough but wasn't so uncomfortable that he couldn't wear it (and the rest of the robes and gear here definitely looked too small for him - if only the apprentice that had come before him had had armor...Onmund WAS wearing his clothing after all and while it was slightly too big he'd rather have it loose than it being this tight).  Kestrel loosened all the straps as much as she could and helped tuck the pants into the tops of his boots (he definitely could not wear the too-small footwear), then made him spin in a circle once it was all on.

Onmund had felt odd looking at the armor before but wearing it was...he wanted to describe it as "mind expanding" but that seemed too grandiose.  What he DID know for certain was this gear was heavily enchanted and he felt fortified, energized, and strangely secure in it even though it was somewhat ill-fitting, and the energized sensation increased when he pulled the hood up.

"Who did this belong to?" he asked; he looked down at himself and flexed his fingers -- it was such an odd feeling wearing this. Onmund glanced back to Brelyna then and felt his ears grow warm at the look of admiration and curiosity on her face.

"An old mentor of mine," Kestrel answered.  Seemingly satisfied (and completely ignoring the look of amazement on Onmund's face) she went back to gathering pouches and the like before heading down the far end of the room. "He'd be tickled pink to know I'd kept it all this time AND that it's still functional.  He made it himself," she explained further, glancing back to him briefly with the first smile he'd seen on her face since she'd re-emerged from her coffin.  "The entirety of my base knowledge of enchanting came from him, and you'd have been amazed to watch the man sew."

As he watched (and very carefully stretched and shifted about to see if he could stretch out the leather and fabric some) Kestrel opened a cabinet and removed a layered set of robes that, as she sorted the pieces and let them drop to a table, thudded loudly against the wood; when she shook them out and started to pull them on the fabric folded and caught in oddly defined patches -- were those metal plates sewn into padded pockets?  That's definitely what it looked like.

"What's our plan, then?" Onmund asked after a pause (he politely waited until she had her head pushed through the neck of some kind of padded undershirt).

"I will handle Varea, and YOU-" she said, emphasizing the word as she looked to him, "-will make certain no one gets close enough for her to claim their souls and empower herself again.  I've no doubt in my mind that she'll be a difficult opponent with just the crown and her own wits but I've no intention of letting her pull her little trick a second time and add more bodies to the pile.  --where DID you put those bodies?" she asked after a breath.

Brelyna answered before he did.  "-down in the lower level, in those empty coffins.  What about me?  What should I do?"

Kestrel didn't even bother to look at her.  "Stay as far away from the fighting as possible...if you've been taught the same things Onmund was then you won't stand a chance - you're just a corpse that's still upright so far as I'm concerned."

"But-" Brelyna started, looking insulted.  She immediately paused when Kestrel fixed her with a glare.  "-I want to help," she went on a second later.

"That's a fine and noble sentiment to have but believe me child, you're ridiculously under-trained and outclassed," Kestrel replied in her usual matter-of-fact tone.  "A will to help won't make up for a lack of skill and training and I don't want you becoming a distraction to my apprentice.  You're lucky you're still alive to begin with."

A silence fell then and a thought occurred to Onmund.  "-Kestrel...why didn't you kill me when I was taken out of here?"

Again there was quiet save for a soft rattling noise of the buckles as Kestrel methodically strapped her robes in place.  "--well, to be honest, Onmund...I tried. It seems there's a limit to the range of my spell - just another little variable I wasn't aware of, much like how the tether between us sent my soul to your body and disrupted centuries of recovery spells already in place."

He winced at that -- he supposed it wasn't all THAT surprising, but he'd hoped...  "Oh.  Well...ah... I mean, I feel I should be mad but..."  He trailed off, sighing heavily.  "--COULD you tell the spell was being messed with?"

"That I could, and believe me, when I realized that I couldn't trigger it from a distance I was determined to retrieve you, however... I couldn't leave the crown unguarded, and once she had you the attacks on my defenses increased.  I suspect she might have had those in her sway helping her with that as they were near-constant with wildly varying degrees of finesse to them."  She cinched her sash into place and a belt over that, and then began to sort through the pouches and satchels she'd gathered, clipping some onto her belt and sorting the contents of others into different containers.  "...I know how...coldhearted it sounds.  I really do.  And if it makes you feel any better I cried over it.  Here I was, in the worst possible position: unable to kill to keep the secret of the crown, unable to leave to save my apprentice.  Poised to lose no matter what I did.  If I could have snatched you back - and that IS the first thing I tried - I would have..."

She trailed off, shoulders slumping, then looked over to him.  "I have no desire to lose another apprentice to this damned thing.  I despise being in the position to even make that choice. Whatever you might think of me, Onmund...know that I highly value you, as I have all the others.  I don't make the choices that I do lightly.  And I am genuinely proud that you did not break under the pressure."

For a moment he just stared - the praise gave him a funny feeling in his stomach...not quite embarrassment, not quite pride.  "I did what you taught me to do."

"I know.  That is why I'm proud."

He felt his face warming and knew he was tinging red, and quickly cleared his throat.  "So...what's our plan?"

"As I've said I will handle Varea and the crown and you will keep everyone else at bay."

"That's...not really a plan."

"Until I actually determine what we're up against I can't give you a plan, Onmund. And no plan survives contact with an enemy so even if I DID have one it's not likely to work.  You're well trained and your job is to save lives while mine is to end one...that's as best as I can do."

"All right.  And, Kestrel...when we get it back, and destroy it, can we get out of this hole in the ground?"

She slowly turned to look at him, eyebrow raised.  "...don't let idle day dreams of the future distract you from the present, apprentice.   One step at a time."

Onmund managed a weak smile.  "I know.  It's just better to look at the positive side, right?  We can't go into this expecting to lose, and having a goal in mind at the very least makes it seem worthwhile."  

It was then that Brelyna stepped back up beside him, eying everything around them.  "-if I can't help then what should I do?"

"Well, you could stay down here and risk starving to death if something should happen to us both and you aren't able to climb out, OR you can return to the surface with us and find somewhere to hide far, far from the fighting and someone will go retrieve you eventually."

"I'll...find somewhere to hide that isn't here," Brelyna said after a pause.

"Wise," Kestrel muttered.  

She ushered the two of them back into the hall then returned to what she was doing; Onmund kept stretching and tugging at the armor, finding that easier to focus on that what they were inevitably going to be heading into soon.  The plan they had wasn't much of one and it occurred to him that she'd said his part in this was to keep the others out of Varea's reach...if only he'd found a book about portals before now then maybe he could dump everyone into a hold's jail and call it a day.

The thought was just amusing enough to chuckle over and he feared that this one stupid thought might be the last thing he ever laughed about.

[rainbeauxraconteur]

I was looking for one of my student loan related passwords and I came across an email from 2013. I guess I had taken some kind of life purpose quiz and saved the answers. It’s interesting to have a snapshot of yourself from another time in your life. In some ways I still want roughly the same things. In other ways I can see where I was carrying around a great deal of unprocessed pain and trauma.

I remember that summer well. I was basically rebuilding my life from nothing, coming out on the other side of a deep depression that had lasted for nearly three years. I was doing some pretty intensive talk therapy work, and it was painful and difficult but I was determined not to flinch from it. Looking back I’m not sure what I was driving towards, or why. On paper I had nothing to live for, really. I’d barely even left the house in years. I don’t know what was pushing me, saving me, not letting me give up. I don’t know why it would save me and not someone else.

Sometimes I think of that summer as the time when I gave birth to myself. The person I am now simply didn’t exist before then. But also like that analogy because of the implicit violence — the brutality of tearing apart flesh to create something new. I don’t think that it’s an exaggeration to say that rebuilding my life is my greatest accomplishment. But, of course, that’s not an acceptable answer to give when asked in an interview.

The nagging question I have now is why I’m being confronted with these slivers of who I was? This is the second time in the last month I’ve randomly been confronted with some aspect of the trauma I experienced and how it impacted my life. I’m not oblivious to the fact that I’ve recently experienced some dynamics that are similar to that time, but it seems like... I don’t know what I’m supposed to be learning. What is it. What are you trying to show me? What should I have gotten from this experience? It just doesn’t feel like coincidence to me, that this is coming up again. And that makes me feel like... maybe it’s not over. Like if I don’t fully learn this lesson I’ll just continue to be hit over the head with it.

Life Purpose Answers, July 19, 2013

Now your answers are reflected back to you

This page contains your answers to the questions along with comments. Go through everything and analyze each of your answers to enhance your self-awareness regarding your passion and purpose in life. Take notes if necessary and reflect on what you read. Your passion and purpose are not written here in a single sentence, but is captured in everything below.

Only you can know what your passion is.

What are you naturally curious about?

The stories of women of color/qwoc. Non-conventional spirituality. Scientific discoveries, particularly medical discoveries. Food (recipes, history). Black excellence.

Comments:

Your answer to this question gives you an indication what are the different topics where your passion may lie. You may find here clues about a suitable profession for you or a field you want to work on. Often what we naturally do we enjoy the most.

What would you change about the world?

Racial discrimination and abuse. Greed and corruption.

Comments:

What makes you angry the most shows you in a way what you care about the most, what is close to your heart. It is unlikely that you are emotionally strongly moved by something you are not even slightly passionate about.

What would you love to do or accomplish before you die?

Have a family. Have a beautiful home. Know that I am serving my ultimate purpose. Be able to care for my parents and brother. Be a great cook. Have a vegetable garden. Make someone's life better. Help people in the way that I've been helped. Travel to beautiful places. Be in love with my soulmate. Create art that I'm proud of. Write a book. Have a large group of amazing friends. Be joyful.

Comments:

The things you listed as answers not only give you an idea of your goals, but also your values - what is important to you and how you would like to live your life. See if you can spot any themes in your things to do list.

What would you do if could not fail?

I would educate people on the concept of whiteness and how it works and the damage it does to people. I would mentor young girls of color and support them as the grow. I would lead a movement of real change. I would be a speaker, an educator, a motivator to people all over the world.

Comments:

This question helped you to think without limitations. There is a good chance you wrote here things that you really want to do.

What would you do if you would not be limited by money?

I would help people heal themselves and heal their hearts.

Comments:

Similar to the last one, the question removed barriers from your thinking and brought out your inner desires. Remember that you might be able to earn money following your passion too.

What would you like to hear at your funeral?

That I loved fearlessly. That I cared passionately. That the fire in me could ignite the world.

Comments:

Your answer shows you what you value and how you would like to live your life, what is truly important to you.

What are the things you currently enjoy doing?

Learning about new discoveries. Drawing/making art. Explaining race theory. Being with my family. Laughing. Looking at home decor and house designs. Learning about food.

Comments:

Very straightforward - your passion may lie in one of those activities.

What were the activities or tasks you were doing when you felt most empowered?

Teaching people new skills. Seeing my students do things they never thought they could do. Giving advice. Listening to people when they really open up. Exploring who people really are.

Comments:

When you are passionate about some project or assignment, you feel energized, you don't get tired and you feel excited. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person than you ever dreamed yourself to be. If you felt something like this when doing the tasks you listed, this might be it or at least you're close.

What would you most like to be acknowledged for so far in your life?

Being fearless about breaking down my own barriers. Not being content to just exist. Never giving up on the part of me that knows that there is a job for me.

Comments:

You only take pride in things that matter to you. The question is if these things matter you the most?

If you had only one wish, what would it be?

That people would really listen to one another, and believe pain when they hear it. That people would choose to stop hurting each other.

Comments:

Now that you gave it some thought, try to think of at least 5 more people for whom you could make a wish, include strangers. After you've done this for a little while, see what trends you see. This will be at least very close to your purpose.

Whose life do you want to be living?

Iyanla Vanzant, any and all Black women who were able to reach outside of their own circumstances and lift up and inspire others.

Comments:

If you did pick anyone, why did you choose these people? There is something about their achievements, lifestyle or other aspects of life that you find desirable. That's a hint.

What ideas are you most inspired by?

That it's never too late to start living your unique plan.

Comments:

If there is an idea that really inspires you, that could very well be your purpose.

With whom would you like to surround myself?

Positive people, warm, funny, interesting, committed to living their life's purpose and supporting others to reach theirs.

Comments:

You become who you drink coffee with. The kind of people you want to have around you tells you what kind of a person you want to be.

Do you take responsibility for what is happening to you?

Yes

Comments:

Only you can change your future and create the life you want to live, noone else. If you blame others and shift the responsibility away from you, you are looking for answers in a wrong place. If you said yes, congratulations.

Now that you have gone through this exercise, answered all the questions and read the answers once again - do you see patterns in your answers? Identify what are the common themes in your answers and you will find your passion and purpose in life.

We hope you gained new insights about yourself. If you could answer all these questions - then you already have all the answers. No test on the internet or elsewhere can tell you your life purpose or what you should do with your life. Only you can.

[rakesh346543-blog]

Best Wishes For Wedding

Scrutinize our glorious social occasion of wedding wishes, cards and well done wedding messages for the as of late hitched couple. You look at the wedding well done and wonder what to state to the future woman of great importance and fortunate man. Everyone sends welcome; they'll get results of each. What will make yours develop? We can help. Pick an inclination from among the various we offer. Record it with your name at the base of your card and they will see the qualification. You have to impart something explicit close by your wedding favoring, anyway you can't consider any persuasive explanations. Everything considered, we can. We have various references to browse. Pick one that applies to the spouse to be and his woman of great importance and makes your approval person. You can display your wants on the bright couple on Facebook and make them exceptional by including one of our various complimentary evaluations. If the occasion got away from your consideration, you can regardless make noteworthy SMS messages using our thoughts to pass on your contemplations in just a couple, well-picked words. You are as unique as your friends and family might be. Re-try your ideas by including words that others will interface with you, even before they see the imprint. Join references passing on outstanding contemplations or memories to the couple you are with respect to; they will acknowledge you allow it a hesitation.

Now and again, we witness an uncommon sentimental story. Yours is a standout amongst the best and most awakening I have ever been eyewitness to. Congratulations and all the best for a bright concurrence.

Marriage isn't just a favorable bond. It is a voyage that goes on until the completion of unlimited quality. Here's to aching that the both of you have an indispensable and sprightly ride.

I believe you welcome most of the delights that amicability secures life. May your life later on be stacked up with fulfillment and delights. Great karma on the days to come.

As this voyage of yours begins, I wish you a genuine presence overflowing with joy and love. May every day you spend together, be amazingly superior to the previous one. Well done!

May the bond you share as a team grow more grounded each day both of you spend together. Well done!

As the seasons' change and the cycle of energy and warmth continue reliably. May your nuclear family turned out to be more prominent, and your worship turns out to be more grounded.

Of the extensive number of weddings we've been to as of recently, this one is irrefutably the one that has gotten me empowered the most! I'm so happy to consider both of you my family beginning now and into the not so distant. Well done!

I'm am glad to the point that you invited me to this noteworthy depiction of yours. May the bond you share with the individual you had constantly needed ended up being more grounded than anything you have ever imagined. Congratulations!

To my dear buddies who show that love can be substantial and for time everlasting. I believe your concurrence will be stacked up with delight, fulfillment, and piles of love!

Wishing you heaps of warmth and euphoria together! May every day of your life starting now and into the foreseeable future hold magnificent shared experiences!

May you have and the most upbeat of social associations! As you start this new voyage in life recollect that worship is all you need.

There is nothing more energizing in this world than to watch two people find love in each other. We are by and large so cheery for you. Much gratitude to you for offering this extraordinary day to us.

May you have the wedding you had constantly needed! Wishing you a lifetime of friendship!

True congratulations on your marriage. May your bond prop up perpetually, and should it ever change, may it change to a firmer and better one.

Love knows no impediments. There is neither mountain too high nor ocean excessively significant concerning getting together with the one you worship. Your voyage of warmth is truly moving. I wish you mind blowing fortune and real fulfillment as you make a concurrence.

Wishing you significantly more days as merry as this one, much more occasions for merriment, and a lifetime of warmth and chuckling.

Enrichments to the happy couple! May your commitment builds up, your fulfillment increase, and your fondness become more grounded from this day forward.

On occasion, we follow along this remarkable feeling, that beats all that we have ever watched. I truly trust yours is the one! Congratulations!

May you for the most part review the fondness shared on this excellent day! May your lives continue getting to be in worship and fulfillment together!

As you set out on this voyage as a team, I wish you to continue with a presence with no doubts, and anyway numerous bright memories as could sensibly be normal. Well done!

Words can't depict how happy I am that life has joined both of you. May the assumption expend amazingly in your spirits for whatever time allotment that you live. Well done!

This historic occasion signifies an amazing starting together. May the voyage be a happy one stacked up with concordance and understanding, happiness and snickering, and feeling and excitement. May your enduring worship be the crown pearl that incorporates all the rest. All the best!!

As we witness two hearts join as one, we supplicate your solidarity will constantly remain strong by letting the harmonies of love that bind you to strengthen after some time. Many warm wishes on your wedding.

As the years pass and memories obscure, hold fast to your sweet acknowledgments of this day. This will be your happy spot. Well done on your huge day.

All that I consider associations I picked up from both of you. Your dream feeling with a dream completing is truly rousing. It would be so extraordinary in the event that we as a whole had your positive karma, anyway in the interim, an obligation of appreciation is all together for allowing me to be a bit of your story.

May each day be more dazzling than the one going before it. May your friendship for each other become more grounded as you get progressively prepared. May you end up 'til now catching hands and relaxing in each other's veneration when all that is youthful and impermanent have obscured away. Well done on putting it all on the line this.

All the world reveres an uncommon sentimental story. It gives us desire and fills our hearts with fulfillment. Here's to a lifetime stacked up with lively minutes. All the best on your wedding.

May love fill your days. May there reliably be adequate happiness to persevere through the distress. May you for the most part find comfort in each other's grasp. May this day be never-endingly scratched in your spirits as a picture of your worship and obligation.

All the best to both of you on your one of a kind day! May what's to come be splendid, and stacked up with most of the favors and pleasures of life. Both of you merit it!

You have set the bar in reality high for a relationship of reciprocals. May your married affiliation continue being rock unwavering, fulfilling and moving for both of you. Cheers your huge day.

Congratulations on your wedding! What a regard to be a bit of your novel day and witness the growing adoration between two dear allies ascend above into a lifetime obligation. May your warmth simply create and your happiness just creates over the long haul.

With the most sizzling wishes to an extraordinary couple, may the commitment of marriage tie together your spirits and draw out all that is incredible in the both of you.

Our satisfaction knows no restrictions upon the entry of your wedding. We wish that you pass on this tranquil bond from solidarity to quality over the long haul.

Heartiest well done on your marriage. May your marriage take after a cloudless night sky, stacked up with sparkling stars of friendship, fulfillment, and care.

A wedding bond means the unification of two hearts. May the seeds of reverence continue getting to be through the sands of time and bring a great deal of euphoric characteristic items for you both.

Finally, the day has arrived. As you both set out to start another presence of partnership, here's to yearning that you keep going gaga for each other reliably later on.

An outstanding wish for an amazing couple: may the warmth that blossoms in your spirits this day simply be the foundation whereupon greater milestones of association are to be made.

More.....

[junerk]

mgas episode four: 2018 releases team pink punk performance; ddu du ddu du song + line distribution + choreo reference 

yet again, the mgas are full of surprising events for kim junmyeon. 

not only was he and his team praised for their performance, they actually won the 2011 classics battle. he was so happy and proud he could cry. the hard work of each of the members had paid off, and together they had seen success. for once, kim junmyeon would be known for something other than his looks.

all too quickly the new mission is given and teams are switched up. he’s still in team a, so if jonghyun, but now they have new members; jeno, jinhee and hyunjin. he’s had a taste of success now, and it makes him greedy for more. he recognizes jinhee from all the screen time they’ve given her, and with jonghyun on the team as well, they were guaranteed success as long as they picked the right song and worked hard.

the sphere building is somewhat familiar to him at this point, which is very weird to him. an entertainment company’s building being familiar? the further he got in this competition, the more sure he was that this idol thing might actually be his calling instead of acting. he was really starting to enjoy singing and being on stage. granted, he wasn’t much of a dancer, but he could work at it and get better. this was... actually kind of fun. he liked it. 

“hello!” he waves with both hands as he walks into the practice room, a bright smile on his lips. it’s clear he’s energized and ready to go for this next mission, as he hopes the rest of the team is too. by some weird coincidence, two people on their team had already been leaders, which left three options for their new leader and... somehow the role ended up in junmyeon’s lap. it made him a little nervous, there was added pressure with being a leader, but he couldn’t let his teammates down. upon being voted leader, he smiles and bows deeply at the waist, hands over his stomach. “thank you, i won’t let you guys down! we’re going to give a strong performance, i’m confident.”

the first order of business is choosing a song, and by looking around and recanting the previous performances, he’s certain their team is very charismatic. there’s a lot of stage presence sitting in their practice room, and so a song with a strong tone and impression would be best for them. yet again, junmyeon finds himself in a group that’s mostly rappers, and this time they’re all dancers as well. not only is he the leader, he’s also the main vocal, and he has a lot of dancing ability to match up to. this would probably be the most stressful performance for him, but he was determined to do well by his team. 

“okay, we should start with learning the dance so we can practice it enough to be unified on stage. though, we have a lot of dancers.” he thinks, trying to make a good decision as a leader. “is anyone confident with their choreography skills? maybe we can make this dance more impressive so the ceos can see the potential of all the dancers here.” of course there is some concern of junmyeon’s lack of ability, but he waves it off, shaking his head. “i will practice as much as it takes to look decent on stage. i am not the only one on this team, we all have to work to help each other and put on a good performance.”

and he’s true to his word. the choreographers of their team work together to come up with a more striking and challenging choreography for their chosen song, and while that happens, junmyeon takes the others aside and starts working on memorizing the song together. it’s then that he realizes that these vocals are a bit harder than the ones he sang for last week’s performance. he’d have to get some help from wendy later on to make sure he was using the correct technique for the higher notes. 

they set to learning the choreography and the others all take to it pretty easily, seeing as they’re all dancers. it’s such a stark contrast, junmyeon’s struggling and their ease and finesse. it daunts him, and he starts to feel guilty over how hard it is for him. he’s the leader after all, he should be leading, not falling behind. vocally he sets an example, which is something, and when it comes to facial expressions he doesn’t think there’s anyone else in the competition who can match him, but his dancing... god, his dancing, it was bad. 

the others do such a good job, and he just can’t let them down. so after they’ve gone, he stays and practices. he uses his phone to record himself as he practices then watches the video back to see where he’s gone wrong, then works on those parts to try and nail them before taking it from the top again. he finds one of the cameras in the room, holding his phone up to it. “the time is... 2:34am. i’ve been practicing very hard so that i can lead the team tomorrow... i can’t let them down. team pink punk, fighting.” and with that, he leaves to go get some rest.

he’s back by 7:30am the next day, practicing before the others arrive, he’s tired, it’s clear, but he needs to get this choreography down. there’s some improvement - he has it memorized at least - but of course he won’t be able to match the skill of the others. with more practice he’ll be passable, and be in the back row for the harder dance parts so the focus is off him. 

going over vocal and rap parts eases him, since that’s when he can show his teammates that he does have some abilities. he takes a moment to address them all as their leader, flipping over the lyrics before looking at them. “this might sound funny but i think this song is personally important for all of us, since we’re going through a competition right now that is being aired, and the public is criticizing us. there are people who will hate us, not because we are lacking, but because they have their own issues to deal with, and this makes them feel better while they cope with themselves. i think this is our chance to show them that it’s okay, because we’re strong and will not give up due to criticism. we will take it and keep moving forward, and use it to fuel the fire onstage. i hope we can all do this so we give a memorable performance tomorrow, so the viewers can see our determination and root for us instead.” 

with that said they return to rehearsing, ironing out the kinks as they go, practicing the dance, the vocals, the rap and their expressions. junmyeon always stays late to keep rehearsing the dance and make sure he’s passable for the stage performance. each day it becomes more and more apparent to him that he wants this, so much so that one day towards the end of the week he shows up with pink hair. “team pink punk, fighting!” he laughs as the others react to his hair. “i want to show support for our team. it’s temporary dye so it will fade soon. i have confidence that we will do well though!” 

the day to perform soon arrives and it’s nerve-wrecking, as always. he isn’t used to being onstage still, but he knows by this point that he enjoys it, so it has perks as well. backstage, he poses with jinhee who has her pink wig on, modelling their pink hair together. there’s also a fair amount of clinging to jonghyun, since they were on the same team from the previous week, and junmyeon feels at ease with him around. “ah, jonghyun is truly my north star. i don’t think i could do this without him by my side. this week was a lot for me, but having him with me gave me strength.” he tells one of the cameras in the backstage area before they go up on stage for their performance. 

of course, as always, junmyeon’s group is first. it seemed to be fated that junmyeon would always be first to go, or close to it, and that he’d get main vocal roles. perhaps the universe was telling him something? they line up on stage and he starts the introduction for the team. “hit you with that pink punk! hello, we are team pink punk!” he wears a broad smile, waving to the audience, seeing a bunch of banners with his name on them and covering his cheeks shyly at the support. for once his true personality was showing through - his shyness. of course it couldn’t last long, not with the song he was about to perform. 

he takes his position with the others, and when the music starts he gets into a zone, where he’s suddenly the fiercest version of kim junmyeon that had ever come to exist. he looks out to the audience, nodding as he sings his ‘ah yeah ah yeah’ lines, picturing all of the netizens that have ever said anything mean or rude about him, everyone that’s reduced him down to his looks and nothing more, he sees them all out there, the ones who question why he’s there, why he’s given so much screentime -

and he shows them why.

he’s not a talented dancer by any means, but he’s memorized the choreography and practiced it enough to not stick out like a sore thumb. the ones who are impressive with the dance are the other four members, not him, but he blends into the performance enough. he shines when his vocal part comes up, proving to the audience that he is a vocalist and can sing decently well. not only that, he oozes charisma, his expression confident, empowering, and fierce as he tells those haters to try him, test him, and wait til he hits them with that ddu du ddu du du. 

his favourite part by far is the breakdown, after he’s told the netizens he’s unaffected, that a smile gets him a long way with the lyrics, after they have all of that stuffed in their faces, he asks them ‘whatchu gonna do when i come through with with that uh?’, giving the audience the most seductive and confident look he’s produced to date. yeah netizens, what are you going to do with that? 

he survives the dance break down in his cozy spot in the back, singing his high notes for ‘like fire’, which he definitely believes that he is in that moment, and finally the end of the song arrives. they strike their last pose, and he feels like he just rode one hundred rollercoasters. the adrenaline pumps through his veins as he keeps his heavy, heated gaze on the camera in front of him. when it all calms down and they exit the stage, he turns to the others and smiles, clapping and giving thumbs up, patting their backs affectionately. “you guys were amazing out there! i’m so proud of us all, we did so well. no regrets~”

[abbrederisfitness]

Healthy is the New Skinny (Female Empowerment in a Perfection-Obsessed Society)

Hello and welcome to my blog! I am a health and fitness freak, so if you’re into that as well or want to try and live a healthy life I hope that my blog will help you with some tips and inspiration. Since this is my first post I am just going to give you an overview of things I find important to keep in mind when society is trying to push you to be a certain shape, some important tips to keep in mind for a happy and healthy life, and lastly a small workout challenge, which is great for beginners.

Women are ingrained with the belief that smaller is better and so many people’s health has suffered from this logic. The modeling and beauty industry as well as media advertising set “standards” of the ideal skinny body and that you need to look like the size 0 models to be happy. The beauty and model industry exploits our emotions and beliefs to help sell their products or gain publicity. It is important not to strive to look like someone else. Having a goal or mindset to look like someone else is impossible and unhealthy. Everyone was born different sizes and shapes, have different bone structure, metabolisms, and even genetics. It is always important to have a role model or someone you look up to for motivation but it is even more important to remember you are your own person. Everyone has insecurities and body image issues, but there is a difference from being unhealthy skinny and being a healthy and happy you.

I encourage all women to choose health, self-love, and to pursue personal dreams over how society thinks women should look. This all starts with having a lifestyle that works best for each individual and surrounding yourself with a good community who supports you. I’m not saying being a size 0 who powerlifts and has little to no body fat is a bad thing, but again each individual is different and it’s a good thing to have different goals than someone else. The journey to having a healthy life can be intimidating and hard to start. The following tips will show you that you don’t need to starve yourself, make yourself miserable, or ignore what your body tells you in order to live a healthy happy life. If you’re a beginner or currently struggling to live that healthy lifestyle, try and add in some of these tips to your daily workout and help you work towards your personal goals.

Five tips I live by to be healthy and happy:

ONE~ Don’t skip meals or starve yourself thinking that it will help you lose weight and get to your goal. We all need fuel in our bodies for fuel and nutrition. When you skip meals your energy goes down, which can cause depression and binge eating later in the day and gaining calories that you may have wanted to skip in the first place. Skipping meals tend to leave people to crave foods higher in fats and sugars since your body thinks it is in starvation and will crave these foods. Doing this can cause you to take in more calories per volume to make sure you have the energy you need to be active. If you skip meals this can also affect your metabolism dangerously by causing weight gain, delayed insulin response and elevated fasting which are all factors leading to diabetes. Overall, never skip a meal, if you do want to cut down on calories the healthy way is to do portion control. I recommend 3 meals a day (remember NO skipping) with a snack in between. Make sure your meals are CLEAN, full of protein, fruit, vegetables, whole grains and good fats. This will make you feel more energized and happy.

TWO~ You do NOT need to cut out everything you enjoy to stay healthy. It is ok to have cheat days or a special treat every so often. I live by the 80/20 rule; eating mainly healthy all natural and non-artificial foods full of your daily necessary nutrients makes it ok to treat yourself when needed. Having the habit of cutting back on snacks everyday and eating healthy will help you in the long run, making it more enjoyable when you do decide to “ball out” on your cravings. Completely cutting out what you love can strain your happiness which is something essential to a healthy lifestyle. I promise once you do start to eat cleaner you will feel a lot more energized and generally happier.

THREE~ DO NOT let people make you feel guilty for how you want to live your life. If you want to do a HEALHTY diet and workout every day don’t let someone make you feel bad or get in the way for working towards what your goal is. We all have friends who don’t live healthy lifestyles who won’t understand why you do what you do but that’s fine. Let them live their life you yours, just remember your goal is for you and no one else. Make sure YOU are happy because that is all that matters.

FOUR~ The golden rule; do not forget to stretch, I can’t stress this enough. Its very important to stretch after every workout (I even do it before as well sometimes) and it isn’t something that you can “overdue”. Many people underestimate how important it is to stretch, but it is key to a healthy exercise routine. Skipping stretching and continuing to do strenuous workouts day after day will increase your risk of injury. Stretching allows your muscles to work more effectively and also to cut down on being sore the next day and using that as an excuse to not workout the next day. I know that stretching has become one of my best habits and definitely helps me become more flexible week after week. I have been going to the chiropractor for about 10 years now for my being in constant back and hip pain. After doing strengthening workouts to help those muscles with a mix of stretching those areas about 2 times a day I have cut down my visits to my chiropractor immensely.

FIVE~ My last and final tip is to listen to your body. This is especially important for those of you who are just starting your fitness journey. When I first started, I was on a strict diet of eating leans meats and veggies and cutting down a lot on my carb intake. I started to hate this diet so much that I started to get deprived and unhappy. I now listen to my body and incorporate my cravings while eating clean like I mentioned earlier with the 80/20 rule. I stopped meal prepping because after the third day of eating chicken its dry and boring to eat. Now I keep plenty of fresh vegetables, fruit, and meat so when the day comes I can make whatever my body is craving that day. Once I changed and listened to my body my journey to being healthy became so much easier and enjoyable. Working out is only the start but keeping a clean diet that works with your body and needs is key.

Did you know it takes only 21 days to form a new habit? Yes, it is true and that is why I encourage you all to join in on this easy challenge. All you have to do is dedicate 30 minutes every day to getting your bodies in motion for 21 days. You can do anything you want for 30 minutes, and go even longer is you want, the more the merrier right?  If you need to get back in shape or maybe you need to get moving for the first time in a long time, join me. This challenge is inspired by Katie Willcox, who was a plus size model and is someone very inspiring to many people. Today I started my first day of the challenge.

Here is what you need to do:

1.) Follow my Instagram page @dabbrederisfitness where you can see my daily challenge post and updates on my progress as well as having a chance to be featured on my page. This is a great way to help stay motivated and hopefully help others as well or pass on this challenge.

2.) Start Day is this Wednesday, May 23, 2018.

3.) Workout for 30 minutes each day, or like I said earlier, more if you are feeling motivated to do so. The goal is the break a sweat each day doing something you enjoy, cardio, HIIT workout, core, or strength workouts.

4.) Take photos and or IG videos of your workouts, take selfies, or share how you are feeling about the challenge and tag @dabbrederisfitness and @healthyisthenewskinny on your Instagram and #21daychallenge to have a chance at being featured on my page.

5.) Invite your followers, friends, and family to join you. This is what having a community to support you is all about, having others to workout with you and see you succeed is a plus.

It’s that easy to start a healthy life, 21 days, 30 minutes a day. No excuses to not squeeze in that little amount of time everyday. I promise once it becomes a habit you will feel so rewarded and so much better about yourself mentally and physically. Remember the goal is to create a new healthy habit and join a community of people working towards the same kind of goals as you are. We need to remember to empower others and block out the negativity. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, I hope you take away something beneficial!