#and now its just looping
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slowly falling into hopeless apathetic depression where I'm convinced my loved ones don't actually love me like they think they do, getting obsessed with hozier while believing I'll never experience real true love from another again, thinking I'll feel this empty unfulfilled ache for the rest of my life and I should just accept that my destiny is to face into the background of everyone's minds and lives
every year at about the same exact date, just in time for my birthday, is getting real old and I'm kinda over it man <:/
#posts for no one fr fr#its been like. 5? 6? years in a row now.#realized i was trans in january 2019 turned 25 march 1st hospitalized april 4th thru 12th.#and now its just looping#but without any of the events and drama#just the emotions.
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love will truly live
#where are my book of life truthers. where are u. thats my book 7 ending. ik ill be happy no matter how it ends but that feels right imo#big scary dragon enemy of mankind etc etc and silver just wants to save him. to wipe away the loneliness and fear#to extend kindness when the world wants him taken down (and not without cause. um. the world IS at stake)#like i think the horn disfigurement would be cool in a despairing kind of way but i want silver to break history's loop. to connect#i literally want a fucking 'the power of love' ending ITS CHEESY BUT THATS MY IDEAL OKAY. IM THE CHEESEMAN#im actually the drama girl so the horn axeing is more my typical brand but ugh. this. i ammmm sorry toro i am sorry going in a playlist#twstファンアート#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#malleus draconia#suntails#i wake up at 6am now Naturally bc of work and snoozed till 7 and the new ssr was the first thing i saw and i got nauseous#silver fans always win. write this down im so serious. we literally have never lost Ever. this. might be my fav art in the game#def passes silver's lab card for best silver card art direction but genuinely overall it fucks so severely
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AU where Eddie cracks his head off the ground and temporarily gets mind reading powers. He goes to school the next day thinking that this might actually be fun, and it is for a while.
And then he hears bloodcurdling screaming - except only he hears it so, “That’s in someone’s head?”
He follows the sound out down the hall, pass his own classroom. The screaming getting louder and louder until, “Steve Harrington?”
“Yeah?” Steve blinks back into reality in the back of his history class. The screaming dims but doesn’t go away. Steve’s still got those bruises on his face but otherwise doesn’t look distressed, “…You want something, Munson?”
“Um…um, no,” He says. “I - no. Nothing.”
Steve narrows his eyes and a whisper of a voice just under the screaming thinks Eddie is fucking with him.
Eddie barely acknowledges it because he’s stuck on how Steve looks normal. Not anguished. Not tortured. But normal. Bored.
“Well, uh. Well, I’ll see you around, Harrington.”
And Eddie means that too.
#Eddie tries to figure out what’s going on with Steve by reading his friends minds#but whereas it’s interesting that Carol is meaner in her mind than person and Tommy thinks way too much about his former friend i#and Jonathan’s mind is stuck in some OCD time loop about what he needs to do after school#and Nancy’s mind is just depressing as hell so he jumps out of there quickly#none of its helpful so now he has to befriend Steve himself (ughh)#post brought to you by me - mental illness in a trenchcoat#aka a bitch whose been screaming in their mind since grade school (something I found out 5yr ago was not the norm)#steve harrington#eddie munson
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they deserve to be poked and prodded at nicely because i SAID so
#loopdile#GRRRRHHHHH#even though odile would usually ask loop and have them be honest about wanting some touch- letting them believe its for 'research purposes'#-will just have to do for now#snakie art#madame odile#odile isat#isat loop#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#loop fanart#isat odile
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monologue
#they said i couldnt have a worse speech bubbles to image ratio and i said 'bet?'#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#two hats spoilers#isat#lucabyteart#sifloop#not rlly but it gets the tag in case ppl r backscrolling my tags on my blog for some reason#anyway this dialogue has been kicking around in my files for about 2 months as it is known to do & i wanted to play with typesetting#'write a fic if you like words so much' absolutely not . what if it was pictures instead. and also i wanted an excuse 2 loop gradient#but yeah uhhhh this is very . very loosely the result of me thinking about the 'island is trapped in the fucking future' theory.#like if so. would it just like. reappear. when the rest of the world catches up w where it was stuck in time. like . 20 more years on.#and thus the q: god wait at what point would sif be older than the age they last knew their parents to be. theyre nearly 30 now so like.#you can see my logical path thru these thoughts yes? anyway i think its fun when these two put their braincells together to realise#the horrors. and kind of exclusively the horrors. wahoo!!!#anyway food for thought re: island reappears and to the islanders it's not been any time at all. but its been like 30 years for the rest#fuck do you do: your boy returns 30 years older plus a family (maybe even a child) and minus . a fucking eye.#also theres a fucking angel with them? update. thats also your boy what the fuck. wait fym theyre married. hold on. wait--
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NEW OBSESSION AQUIRED
#digital art#art#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat king#isat loop#isat spoilers#?#not really but better safe than sorry#isat bonnie#isat isabeau#I love them so much#play this game#its so great#pixel art#i just remembered that the color is a spoiler#ive looked at this for so long i forgot#wow#really got siff memory now :')#ill probably still do some rottmnt stuff but imma do this for a while :)
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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This is the third time I forgot to post this bruh
#art#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isabeau x siffrin#isafrin#is that their ship name?#when i started drawing this i just thought its siffrin#but THEN the neurons activated so now this loop canon#thats how they found out their allergic
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Reason #48234872 Kiibo should've lived: so Maki can have someone to recreate a normal human adolescence with while Himiko and Shuichi go into a state of depressed hibernation for the next half decade...
Honestly I never even thought of this pairing until I started drawing this months ago, but I think they would have an interesting dynamic postcanon. It's hard for them to relate to each other at first — Maki has seen way too much and Kiibo has seen like 0 things in his life ever — but they've both been dehumanized, made to believe they're dangerous,* and barred from participating in "the real world" for most of their lives. And because of that they just want something that is, to use Maki's words, "as vanilla as possible."
Also, they're both autistic straight men and I want to see the hijinks that ensue when you put two of those in the same room.
*Obviously we see Maki being viewed as dangerous by herself and others; I can't even tell anymore if it's obvious that Kiibo shares that experience to some degree or if I'm just too deep in my own Kiibo lore... But here's 2 thoughts on why I think that's something they canonically share:
They both hurt someone close to them in their backstories, and that weighs on them enough that both of their Harmonious Heart events are about wondering if that person would hold it against them. Also for reasons I won't elaborate on here, I'm pretty sure Kiibo at least subconsciously views himself as a danger to others due to the environment he grew up in after Iidabashi was injured. I mean imagine having an emergency stop button permanently installed on your body "just in case."
Despite everyone's backstories being fictional, Kiibo and Maki have still killed one real person each --- Kiibo killed Tsumugi (and endangered everyone else), and Maki effectively killed Kokichi/Kaito ('effectively' just as in it could create the kind of "I killed a guy" guilt that is relevant to this discussion. I'm not going to even comment on the actual causality of that entire situation). Even if you don't count that, Kiibo being the only person with a body count is an interesting reversal given he's a pacifist and seems to have the most rigid moral code of the cast (something I also think was a precaution of sorts).
(+ Credit: Background of page 6 is traced from this random photo of an ice rink lobby. I made up the background of page 7 and that's why you can't tell what the hell anything actually is.)
#danganronpa#danganronpa v3#maki harukawa#kiibo#k1-b0#keebo#kiimaki#makiibo#harukiibo#long comic#drv3 spoilers#ndrv3#drv3#comics#comic#meta#i cant think of tags right now im so tired from. drawing this comic sdljfkjdsklfs#cant even tell if its good anymore tbh but theres only like 3 people in this tag so im just gonna. put it out there#again i think w any other characters this would obviously be romantic but#theyre both so cringe and unable to cope with affection that it kind of just creates a feedback loop#idk maybe im just saying this because i feel weird posting rarepair and because i also ship kiiruma and kaimaki LMAO#my art#my posts#fanart#described#pretty sure i started and abandoned this before i even finished emergency stop so have fun spotting the hiatus in here??#ok im gonna. go rest my eyes now. god#p#pp
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more isat drawings yay
#i drew both this and this one other drawing in the span of two days. i havent drawn this much in SO LONG#but ive finally managed to form an actual artstyle for those characters yay. its gonna be more consistent from now on i hope#i am so obsessed with this game someone help me#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#<- i dont think theres any but just in case#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isat loop#isat mirabelle#isat odile#isafrin#loopdile#<- barely but i guess why not#(i need more loopdile stuff)#i love them so muchhh#drawinsometimez
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ABORT ABORT ABORT PANIC!!!!!!! You are NOT about to tell a child that their supposed doppelganger parent is DEAD!!
transcript below:
(MAYBE YOU'LL GET LUCKY AND DIE WITHIN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.)
(Wait, no, that's right. You're ACTUALLY dying.) (And if you don't help Mirabelle retrieve that ammo, so will everyone.) (Even this child in front of you.)
...I know you don't believe me, but I'm Siffrin. What's your name?
Oh! You don't know! My Siffrin calls me Lupus!
Lupus, that's a nice name.
Look, we need to go save the world, and it's urgent. How would you like to join us?
Sure! And then when we find Siffrin, he'll help save the world too!
...Yeah.
#isat au#isat#overkill au#story#in stars and time#asks#art#ok before anyone gets upset i wanna explain real quick#that yes i do believe siffrin would tell if siffrin knew the child#we see that they do talk to bonnie ingame about death but in this situation the stakes are too high and siffrin just met this kid!#so i want to reassure people that i'm not making siffrin lying here for the sake of drama i just genuinely believe this is the smarter#and more interesting option for him to make right now considering its a time loop#PLUS lupus is now trapped in with them. it hasn't been acknowledged yet but it will be soon with the cast
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From "Unadulterated Loathing" in which Charlie chains these two idiots accidentally together by @otsmosis (who made this comment at the end of the last chapter and inspired me to do whatever this is above)
#i was forced to colour this and its always painful and out of my comfort zone hallelujah#let me just tag this real quick i have a lot to say#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#radioapple#appleradio#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x lucifer#okay we are back#FIRST things first#oh shit i forgot#my art#i watched silence of the lambs for the first time#and i think that hannibal lecter is just normal smart#but everyone else is really really fucking stupid#OH THE FIC I FORGOT TO SAY#i needed something uplifting and im so happy that i found it#if any of you is in need of some cheering up please give it a read#i am EXCITED for the next chapter#i just love it when charlie screams in someones face#AND THAT “ALASTOR HEAVED OUT A DISGUSTED SOUND” is absolutely me and my best friend every five minutes if we dont like something#i now use a screenshot of that sentence to express my discomfort in our chat#wow im so shit at giving compliments and i am stuck in an endless loop of “wow i loved it so much it was great”#BUT I REALLY LOVED IT
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I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)
Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes
And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day
The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)
And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip
#very remora fish with a shark#jason todd#danny fenton#danny phantom#dpxdc#dp x dc#this isnt super important but i imagine Danny's ghost form as young and unaged from his death so jason is used to this small whispy kid#who just hangs off him and talks literally all the time#so when something comes up and someone is like 'idk if we can bring danny looking like... that' (glowing and a literal ghost)#danny is like 'oh ok u need a human? ok :)' and transforms#its been WEEKS#jason didn't know he could do that#nobody did#and now theres this 20ish dude standing there#human form danny doesn't talk a lot (anxiety) ghost form danny can't stop talking (anxiety)#could be a ship fic and at this point jason goes from 'where is my little buddy :(' to 👀😳#i imagine theres a sort of feedback loop with them both feeding off of each other's ecto energies and vibes idk#so when danny is human its not as strong#batman is convince this strange entity is like hypnoyizing his son and like hes not WRONG#but it goes both ways#idk#i just need more codependency fics :(#i should go on a bender#ignore my 500 open tabs and go to town
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getting along?
#chonny jash#cccc#chonny jash fanart#cj mind#cj heart#jaggy posts#jaggy art#chonnys charming chaos compendium#my handwriting is dogwater just deal with it#no real context for these just unrelated imagined scenarios#but for the second pic i think soul just introduced his trident to them for the first time (in that loop at least) and implied its threat..#heart and mind don't want to believe he would use it and pretend to be dense about it. lol what is he gonna do? stab us? type of energy#the answer is yes and they both know it. they're joking with each other to cope#i guess soul's threat kinda worked. they are getting along. although it's from fear and the threat of violence. not a genuine connection.#surely that won't bite soul back later at all. lol#i guess while i'm chatting. the first one is supposed to be heart spiraling during a dire moment#he gives up completely and is like. just kill fucking kill me. its what you always wanted isnt it. go ahead idc. and minds like GET UPPPPPP#NOWS NOT THE TIME!!!!! PULL IT TOGETHER#its a metaphor for- well. who gives a#i guess these would be during cacophony. times are rough but they aren't totally at each others throats 24/7. not yet at least#i ramble. jeez
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Blood on your hands.
Idea was made by @baylardo. She provided a little scribble and I messed with it.
#the spiral in the episode night I guess#there arent many characters out there that show true reclusion and depression feedback loops#she cant control people's fates :(#kathryn janeway#im not too happy with this but its just a quick little bit of practice lol#a mashup of my style with baylardo's#burple skivvy my beloved#startrek voyager#st:voy#captain janeway#janeway#art#my art#when ur on ur period (promised i would put that in the tags)#ummm yeah funny cos i feel a little neg about my art and stuff in my life right now IRONIC#i resent that i have to keep up art inbetween other art otherwise my skill rapidly degenerates sad!!!!#star trek voyager
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my favourite big-hatted not-men with giant holes in their brains where their memories should be (and their kinda-dead doubles called loop/lup)
+bonus doodles because thinking about the taz balance cast for 0.2 seconds reminded me how much i like themmmm
#nows a good time to tell everyone im never listening to any loop voice hcs because they have always just sounded like taako. to me. thanks.#anyway i think i originally followed insertdisc5 during the taz days in what. 2015-16? oh god its been 10 years. i love.. time....#isat spoilers#taz balance#isat fanart#doodlebyte#im not. putting any more tags than that y'all can manage. i feel bad enough maintagging self indulgent crossover stuff to begin with#anyway lup taaco you will always be famous they can never make me hate you i love youuuuuuu#also i couldve made jokes abt the Redrobes but joking about barry Bluejeans was funnier to me#i really like the odile ive drawn btw. out of everything. i also like my insects (tiny siffrin and loop)#also i dont think i had ever drawn lucretia or barry prior to this...? so i have pulled some derivative designs out of my ass. lol
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