#and now we transition to my active characters

[dolphin-diaries]

Who Gets To Talk Detransition?

Originally published on Dolphin Diaries

The story is supposed to go like this: a trans cult, or maybe the medical establishment, steals a young girl under its ghastly wing. A wounded girl, a scared one, desperate for reprieve from a violent world that has whipped her into self-hatred. The kidnapping cultists promise an escape. A cure to the horror of her body. Then, mutilation follows, which a brave few will eventually try to undo—only they never quite can.

No, wait.

The story is supposed to go like this: some people are trans men. They are assigned female at birth, but they are men, and so some want to make their body male. But sometimes, a select few regret their transition. They aren’t trans men. They’re actually cis—in agreement with their sex—but they’ve made a mistake for whatever reason. They are very scarce. A statistically inconsequential minority to which we ought not cede ground. After all, why should a society be concerned with a statistically minuscule people?

Regardless of which way you tell it, two constants remain. One: the trans and the detrans are antagonistic; the detrans have been hurt by transition care and now threaten its existence. Two: those that detransition are seeking to correct a prior mistake. Be it from the right or left, the story is always that of failure and regret.

Part I: When Your Worst Fears Come True

September 2023 marked the eighth anniversary of me starting testosterone. Getting HRT was something I’d fought for with great difficulty and determination: I’d burned bridges with an abusive family; I’d come out a year prior to the entirety of my university class and had already lived as a man; I then dropped out of university so I could work a full-time job to afford HRT. I did all this with full knowledge that I could not access the legal transition system in my country. I’d be unable to change my gender marker and would have to deal with that fact in a place where most people barely know what ‘transgender’ is, let alone accept it. But I was willing to weather all of that, and to my luck, I had no trouble passing for a man, and the vast majority of friends and acquaintances accepted me.

Needless to say, I was ecstatic to start testosterone. In adolescence my masculinity had been denied to me, the feminine traits of myself and my body forcibly exaggerated to put me in my (woman’s) place. Now, it felt like having all the features I’d come to despise overtaken by new growth. Like a ruin reclaimed by fresh ivy. I wasn’t entirely content—I wanted to be indistinguishable from a cis man, untouched by any insidious womanhood whatsoever. Only I found most cis men either uninspired-looking or repugnant, so… a pretty cis man? Androgynous, but not too androgynous, so I don’t get gay-bashed?

The real end goal I wished of my body was nebulous. There was no man I could cite as the Ur-Man for me, trans or cis, neither in character nor appearance. It wasn’t for lack of the much maligned Good Male Role Models in my life; I simply resonated with none of them. But there was life to be lived anyway. So I put one foot in front of the other, and sometimes, I knew my steps were dictated as much by fear of transphobia as they were by my own desires.

There are many things to fear while living as trans. One of my most personal anxieties was detransition. A forced one would be most horrid; to be put in a position where my bodily autonomy, so hard-won, could be stripped away as if it never existed.

But my strangest fear was that I would want to detransition. Not from some cruel necessity or right-wing brainwashing or what have you; genuinely, rationally, actively want it.

I knew why I feared that. Whenever I met another trans man or heard of their stories, some jigsaw puzzles would simply not fit. I never once desired to be a man until I learned of trans men’s existence. Never sought to play the role of a man and only half-enjoyed them now, if at all. Never, not even now, dreamt of myself as a man. At times another trans man would have the same ‘odd’ pieces, but then something else would find itself amiss again. On and on that list went.

One might call this a foregone conclusion in retrospect. Shouldn’t I have known? Shouldn’t a doctor have known? But this rather ignores that the psychology and study of transsexuality are hopelessly warped with attempts to eradicate it. My country’s procedures were dated. The questionnaires I took to have my doctor conclude I’m transsexual? Those were lousy with decades-dated misogyny (do you like housework? do you get aroused by housework? or maybe by cars?) and with voyeuristic, invasive questions (how do you have sex? how do you masturbate?) There were correct answers; there was no variation, which is only allowed for the cisgender. That procedure has since improved, especially in the West, but the traces remain. How does one introspect on one’s gender when that was the model for it? How does one even attempt to unravel the relationship between misogyny and desire to abandon womanhood when to do so threatens access to medical care? What sign ought I have looked for to distinguish myself from trans men when it was demanded no distinctions exist?

One does not exit a hostile care system with a healthier, more stable identity. That is nothing short of a miracle.

September 2023 marked the eighth anniversary of me exiting hostile care with a coveted prize in my grasp. It also marked the moment I looked in the mirror and saw exactly what I’d sought to win in that hellscape: an indisputable man. Not a cis man, of course, but one bereft of all the features that had haunted me to the point of self-harm. I was free, I had won; no one would ever look at me and think me a woman—no one ever did, those days.

I had won. And in my victory, I felt nothing at all.

Part II: Failure and Regret

The Right invests much bombast into transition regret. Loud ring the warning bells: this could happen to you! Your child! A girl with so much to live for, rendered barren, flat-chested, a misshapen man-thing! You, too, will live to regret it!

It amuses me. Queerness and butchness had marked me long ago; I was never particularly buxom or fecund. Never, in the heterosexist sense, something worthy of desire. I was a misshapen man-thing far before I asked people to call me ‘he.’ The people who made sure I knew I was a monster man-woman were precisely the kinds of people that now warned me away from turning myself into what—according to them—I already was. The sheer parental panic with which I’d been forced into makeup and dresses, you’d think I transitioned already.

Even more amusingly, sometimes the Right claims to care about butch lesbians. Tomboys are being mutilated, they say. It’s an imposition of gender stereotypes; women can be masculine!

But if the Right believes women can be lesbian and masculine, what’s with the whole fixation on ruined femininity and birthing wombs?

Indeed, the Right’s acceptance of detransitioned women is full of little caveats. They are to be paraded as damaged goods at conservative rallies. Their lost breasts and ovaries will be ever-ogled, figuratively if not literally, and the ‘irreversible damage’ left by testosterone examined with morbid fascination. They are the Right’s Magdalenes. They’re proof there’s good in the transgressive—that is, that the enemy can be pitied, assimilated. As an underclass, of course. They’re never to truly cease being damaged, for they must be proof that sex can only be ruined, never changed.

For a detransitioner, there is temptation in the Right’s conditional acceptance. It offers an easy answer to their current pain. The past choice they may regret or suffer under—why, it should’ve been prevented! If only you listened to the right authorities, all would’ve been well. Not altogether different than regretting a marriage or college major. Many an adult decries stupid choices of youth—and those certainly happen—but what’s scariest of all is the notion you weren’t making rash or ill-informed decisions. I know I wasn’t. And if that is so, then it means the current self—the mature one, the one with 20/20 hindsight—could make a mistake, too.

Right-wing detransitioners take for granted there exists a guardian angel that could’ve healed them of the gendered distress they once felt and showed them a path to contentment. That is a very tall order, considering how misogynistic and hostile psychiatry and psychology are, historically speaking. And that’s to say nothing of religion. But at least they would’ve been prevented from transitioning; misery averted—right?

My guardian angel, you could say, was lack of funds. I wanted top surgery—double mastectomy—but there was no way I could afford it, not in many years’ time. Now I realise I would’ve come to regret it and would’ve likely sought to reverse its effects. So I’m all good, right? I benefitted from how flawed trans healthcare is, didn’t I?

Perhaps. But there was a reason I wanted a mastectomy, and not a frivolous one. Every time I needed to see a doctor for a respiratory infection, I did so in fear of transphobic malpractice. I would minimise the time I spent in places where my chest could be exposed—gyms, pools, beaches, goddamned corporate retreats. And then there was the way my body, breasts included, had been used to prove to me I was not just a woman but Woman, a biodestined vessel for coy giggles, cookware, and pregnancy. And how that made me feel.

Indeed, I would later find out there are women and nonbinary people that do not identify with manhood yet seek the exact same top surgery I once wanted, for similar reasons. With no regrets. They wish to take control of their body and do so. And I know that, had I been able to get top surgery in the past, it would’ve made me happy for a good while.

So what’s more important: years of constant anxiety, or lack of hypothetical regret?

The right-wing detransitioner assumes one’s current self to be the ultimate judge of one’s choices—but take that principle to its logical conclusion, and it will seem like no decision should ever be made. There is always a prospective Future You which possesses more knowledge. Always the possibility of regret. Of course, decisions in life are sort of inevitable, but don’t worry about that—the powers that be will handle that. Ancestral tradition, or a caring authority figure. That’s also all humans with exactly the same issues, but don’t worry about that either. Maybe God is speaking through them. You never know.

In the end, the prescripts of the Right march to the same grim conclusion. That the only decision you can ever make with total certainty is death.

Part III: Death, the Tarot Kind

Queer culture delights in tales of transformation. We were all once larval—in the closet, often abused and scared. Trapped in a world of rigid roles and brutal dominion. But one day, we hope to metamorphose into our true shape and to take flight above a blissful, lawless, ever-shifting sea of change.

Most queer people are cisgender, and more still do not seek to transition, but the nature of all our transgressions is intimately entwined with gender anyway. We’re all doing it ‘wrong,’ by the wider society’s definition, even the most masculine of cis gay men or the most feminine of cis lesbian women. Unsurprising, then, are the queer community’s various attempts to embrace gender variance and to lay bare the plasticity of sex.

There is nothing per se about detransition that does not fit this mould. If gender is to be fucked with, why not take it for a swing? Indeed, in my experience most queer people would agree it’s entirely possible to detransition without weaponising transphobia or lapsing rightward.

But that’s usually a hypothetical thought exercise that ends exactly there. Maybe that queer person knows a detransitioner, maybe they don’t; regardless, the lives of the detransitioned do not interact with queer ideas of sex/gender, or indeed queer ideas about anything. The only time the detransitioned are really remarked on is only to state our statistical insignificance—or rather, the statistical insignificance of transition regret. I don’t personally regret my transition for the most part, so I wouldn’t even count there.

Whereas the Right sings lyrical about all the motivations and trials and tribulations of the detransitioned (and deftly twists the verses to fit the chorus), the Left does not usually consider the lives of the detransitioned at all. Mistakes happen, they suppose. Kind of funny we ‘failed at gender’ twice. Too bad we’re so miserable, they guess. What, ‘the patriarchy made you do it’? BuzzFeed feminism is so-o-o 2010s, bro.

It would be accurate to surmise the queer community has ceded the concept of detransition to the Right. The queer stance is, in effect, ‘it doesn’t matter anyway’—a defensive and reactive one.

That is not to say the Left as a whole is to blame for grifting detransitioners or the Right itself—the blame is always, first and foremost, on the ones that actually do the harm. And the negligence of the Left doesn’t really harm those that happily push others under the bus—sadly, some people are just assholes. No, the consequences are felt instead by detrans people that have no desire to participate in the transphobia circus, and after that, trans people themselves. The Right’s deathgrip on the detransition narrative means detransition itself is conceptually tied to the Right. Because there is no alternative trans-positive narrative, there is no way to exist as detrans and not affirm someone else’s transphobia, no matter how many times you say you don’t hate trans people. After all there is only one thing people think of when they hear ‘detransitioner.’ And now you are it, whether you like it or not.

I feared I would detransition because, on some level, I knew I might. But why fear it? It’s hard to be trans. There are clear privileges to socially presenting as your birth sex. Doctors will readily help you undo transition. I didn’t want to grift—well, fucking fantastic. Easy enough to not do something. What’s the problem?

I feared it because it’s soul-crushing to know your existence hurts the people you love most. Your friends, partners, mentors. So many cis people in my past knew me as The Trans Person—and now what? How much of the good I had done would be ruined? And by what possible example could I imagine my life as a detransitioner? What is there to even aspire to? And what about everything I’d sacrificed to transition in the first place? All the strife and ridicule I endured, only to have it whispered to me from leering faces: “See? We were right all along.”

All that, to face alone.

At a certain point my resistance to the idea of detransition was motivated only by this. Only by what others would make of me against my will. Not my personal desires. Nothing else at all. To be turned into such a spectacle, a public property of a person, felt like nothing short of death.

Part IV: Afterlife

I decided to start this substack after listening to every podcast appearance by Lucy Kartikasari I could find. She is a detrans woman with a similar yet different story; she transitioned much younger, but went through a similarly arcane approval system and years of waiting; she is not a lesbian; she has detransitioned, and she speaks in favour of trans healthcare and trans rights. The name Dolphin Diaries also originates with her—or rather, with a different, anonymous user, whose idea she broadcast on her TikTok. A dolphin as a symbol of detransition; a mammal that evolved from the ocean to walk on land and then returned to an aquatic life. I find it an appealing and pithy comparison, one free of unnecessary gendering or judgement.

There are precious few voices that speak of detransition in a positive, non-right-wing light. It’s a perspective fraught with thorny, uncomfortable questions. A perspective which is easier to ignore—unless you can’t. If for no one else, I write this for people that felt the same way I did. Trapped, not by ‘mistakes’ or by ‘gender ideology’, but by the image others have painted of them before they could even protest.

I do not write this for the Right. There is nothing I can say that would sway you, and there is nothing you can say that would sway me—and believe me, I have listened more carefully and with far more good faith than you ever have. Feel free to comment how much you pity my womb, or something. I promise to leave its fertility a mystery. I’m a tease that way.

As for other potential readers of this blog: while I do believe it a failure of queer rhetoric to adequately synthesise detransition into the overall gender politic, I don’t believe it’s everyone else’s job to create that synthesis. Who better than a detransitioner, after all? I ask not that you solve my problems for me.

I ask only that you listen.

[1rose2auto3wreckin4]

“The phone is an insane drug—maybe the most insane one we’ve ever experienced—because it is directly related to a haptic sense; your sense of touch, which is your sense of intimacy. It involves itself with a virtual screen. It feeds your mind, your dopamine and all of these receptors through touch.

(This screen) Is the ultimate narcissism machine, it reflects you back to you, it makes you the central character in the social media narrative that you activate, engage in, observe and write the story (for).

It lets you communicate immediately with everyone you care about. It gamifies romance; or it just completely jumps the shark and shows you porn. This machine is insane (because) it completely rewires our brain; our pleasure centers; our expectations for what is communication”…”I think its an impossible addiction for us to move away from, I wish Steve Jobs were still alive so we could question him about it. And it seems transitional…”

-Eugene K on this pod i listen to

Forever seeing my phone as the narcissism machine after hearing this. This is all stuff I’ve heard before, but the self idolization and self promotion knob has been cranked up to 11 in the current social media landscape in this covert new way and it is so normal now that i have to remind myself of what’s really real which is that the phone is demonic

[astrolook]

Do We "Grow Into" Our Birth Chart? 🌱✨

Ever looked at your birth chart and thought, “This doesn’t feel like me”—only to wake up years later realizing, oh no, it does now? 😵‍💫

Here’s the thing: your birth chart isn’t a fixed personality quiz result. It’s more like a storyline—a character arc you evolve into over time. Some placements hit immediately (hello, Aries rising babies who came out screaming), while others unfold like a slow-burn plot twist.

So, let’s talk about the placements that activate with time and why astrology is just another way of saying, "You’re not ready for this yet, but wait a few years." 👀

🌟 What Parts of Your Birth Chart You ‘Grow Into’ Over Time

🔄 Saturn Placements (Aging Like Fine Wine... Or Expired Milk) – If you’ve got heavy Saturn energy, congrats! You probably felt like an underpaid intern in your own life until your late 20s. Saturn doesn’t let you win early—he makes you work for it. Expect full activation by your Saturn Return (ages 28-30).

🌗 Your Moon Sign (Feelings You Don’t Understand Until You Do) – You’re born with your Moon sign, but fully feeling it? That takes time. If you’ve ever thought, "I don’t relate to my Moon," wait until life throws enough emotional chaos at you. Then suddenly, you are that Moon sign.

🛤 North Node (Your Life’s GPS That You Keep Ignoring) – Your North Node is where you’re headed in life, but it’s usually not where you start. In your younger years, you’re vibing in your South Node comfort zone—until life forces you into the real plot. Your 30s-40s? That’s when you become your North Node.

🎭 Your Rising Sign (The Mask That Becomes Your Face) – Your rising sign is how people see you, but it’s also who you’re becoming. As you age, you start owning your rising sign instead of just awkwardly performing it. The older you get, the more your rising sign becomes the vibe.

🏆 Midheaven (Your Legacy, But You Gotta Earn It) – Your Midheaven (MC) is your career and public image, but guess what? It doesn’t make sense when you’re 18. You step into your MC energy as you grow into your career and reputation. It’s why your 10-year-old self wanted to be an astronaut, but your 30-year-old self is thriving as a financial analyst.

👥 Your 7th House (Relationships That Start Making Sense) – The sign on your 7th house and planets there? They don’t click until you start having real relationships. You might even resist that energy at first. Then one day, you wake up and realize, "Oh. This is what I actually need."

💥 Pluto Transits (Personal Transformations You Never Saw Coming) – Pluto moves slowly, but when he does hit your planets, expect life-altering moments. The person you were before a Pluto transit? Gone. Deleted. Who is she? Pluto doesn’t ask you to grow up—he forces it.

TL;DR: Your Birth Chart is a Slow-Burn Character Arc

If you don’t relate to parts of your chart yet, you will. Some placements take time, some take life experience, and some show up when you least expect them to. You don’t just grow up—you grow into yourself. 🌿✨

Curious about which parts of your chart haven’t fully activated yet? 👀 Message me for a complete astrology reading, and let’s figure out what’s next in your cosmic character development.

[space-blue]

Arcane 2 Trailer time!

Imagine this chick comes into your office and tells you what to do? What are you gonna do?? Tell her no?????

Overall Ambessa and Sevika are really making this season MILF o'clock.

It would seem that early season will focus on Jinx terrorist time...

This is sadly the only LoL skin she could afford...

If you like Cait AND you like your women in pain/getting squeeze like they're a pineapple in the werewolf fucking press, then it seems this season is going to be for you. But Cait isn't the only one having a bad time, seems like Heimerdinger losing his day job led to some relaxation of his principles:

Now focusing on Ekko, who we know is helping Heimer:

This has a chain to pull a mechanism, and we see some similar thing being pulled by an unknown character, just a much thicker chain.

These shots of the Firelights attacking AMBESSA's people lead me to believe that the story may look like > Councillors listen to Ambessa > The tensions with Zaun escalate > Jinx terrorism instead of resolution > Vi sees this as failure and returns to Zaun to try another way > Ambessa doesn't take no for an answer > everyone teams up against Noxus, bringing Zaun and Piltover together again.

By hair alone we can see a timeskip here. Love Ekko's outfit. Vi's simpler style with just a bit of Piltie chest armour gives me hope that she transitions away from being a Piltie Enforcer and more of a Vander style character, trying to mediate.

Notice how dark her roots are???? I am wondering because LOOK:

She has black hair!! With reddish tips?

SO THIS MEANS THIS IS VI'S NEW LOOK:

And this last shot confirms it! RHEA RIPPLEY makeover!!!!

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLESAEPLEASE BE REAL please don't be an inforcer don't be a cop please be cool please have an arc learn progress return to your people don't be a class traitor I beg I begwaah

My only criticism of this is that we now have 2 options: Either Vi is entering her goth era and is actively dyeing everything sloppily so that bits of Pink remain, or she has always been black haired, and has been dyeing her hair AND eyebrows pink her whole life, even as a child.

I get that it could be a cultural thing parents do, as my friend En suggested. I'd like this, if it weren't for the fact she was in stillwater for YEARS and I don't see them providing pink dye and a nice setup to bleach and dye safely...

Curious to see how it goes.

At this I screamed "Silco????" But not sure now. Seems too far off to be a Jinx vision.

There's also fucky things going on with the Arcane. We're told it's "waking up", which is curious because I was assuming mages across Runeterra were using the Arcane lots for their own magic, so very happy to learn more about it.

Also very cool to see a return of the wizard guy from Jayce's backstory:

Very excited for these depictions of magic :

Free feet included.

I'm pretty amazed that we have seen Zero Mel and Zero Jayce, and just 2-3 frames of hinted Viktor. Nice to see he'll go through with the transformation, but I'm curious as to why they're keeping the jeyvik divorce era so out of promo. Some of my friends feeling very edged right now.

Wondering if this is baby Powder flashbacks, or if we're going to get little kids getting dyed blue in celebration as we see adults do when they team up with her. I suspect if this is a kiddo who wanted to be blue like Jinx, this will be used as a parrallel, with them being caught in an attack that harkens back to the bridge.

The visual effects look insanely gorgeous, and also Jinx's very bad time tm is always on the menu. Very exciting!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Just curious on your opinion on this: Do you think twst's writing in terms of storyline/plot and overall characterisation of the characters has gotten better or changed in any way over the years? Or would you say it's stayed relatively the same? Or maybe varied?

***Disclaimer: Everything I say in this post is just my opinion and is NOT me imposing my views onto you or insisting that my views are superior. Nor in no way, shape, or form am I demeaning those who enjoy the things I did not or did not enjoy the things that I did. Me not personally liking certain books or events is also NOT me dismissing any characters’ experiences or trauma.

Let’s remember to remain respectful.***

<_<

>_>

*leans into the mic*

Look, I love Twst and all, but I also think that Twst's writing quality has proven to be pretty inconsistent and is actually painfully mediocre most of the time.

When I sit down and really think about it, the main story has 3 books I actively dislike. That's basically half of the main story, seeing as book 7 is so darn long just by itself. Even if I minimize my own bias, there are just objectively bad narrative decisions made in many places, such as setting things up and not letting them get proper payoff later, obvious plot holes, or going for 100+ parts without allowing two major characters in the book to appear.

(I go into more detail about how I personally rank the books here. Here is also a graphical depiction of that ranking yes, I am breaking out the charts:)

Book 7 was especially egregious… It has its monstrous length as well as the tonal whiplash, inconsistent pacing, lack of urgency, and overexplanation of the dreams that take up a good 2/3 of the book. So much was happening and yet so little also happened.

(Here’s how I feel about the major story points in 7:)

In terms of events, I'd say they improved how they're organized over time. In the very early events, Twst failed to separate stories into Episodes like they do now, meaning you'd just get one long stream of story (ex: Beans Day II is 39 parts) instead of it being broken up into more easy-to-digest chunks (ex: GloMasq has 5 Episodes, each ranging from 15-19 parts). Hometown events also took on a predictable formula, with Episode 1 being the set-up to venture elsewhere, Episodes in the middle dedicated to exploring the area, and then Episode 5 having the crew resolve some minor issue. However, this doesn't always mean the pacing of events is good. For example, Stage in Playful Land Episode 3 has a paltry 11 parts whereas Episode 2 has 21, which is almost DOUBLE the length of Episode 3.

Many events have nothing of real importance or excitement happening (Tsumsted Wonderland, Lost in the Books, Master Chefs/Culinary Crucibles, Sam's New Year Sales, etc.) or mainly involve eating food and souvenir shopping (looking at you, hometowns). The events that are good do something unique and does it well (or at least is funny) OR actually advances a character's development/growth. Because so many Twst events are middle-of-the-road, it makes the few solidly written events (like Glorious Masquerade) stand out. We remember these solid instances more strongly as a result, which then projects over the other events (which were mid) and boosts them in our minds.

(Here’s where the events stand relative to one another:)

Vignettes have more liberty with character writing because most of them are not canon to the main story. Sometimes characters regress into their old ways (Epel going back to his pre-book 5 personality is pretty guilty of this), but that's usually fine since I treat vignettes as essentially "what ifs" or transitive periods of growth between major story beats. I like that vignettes are oftentimes very mundane and can take their time to explore the unique relationships and dynamics between the boys. It often feels like so much other stuff is happening that we don't get to slow down and just... enjoy the boys as they are.

Looking at the overall trend lines, it unfortunately looks like Twst is, as I suspected, hovering around the “could be better” to “okay” range in most cases. When Twst does well, it’s great. (To this day, I still believe GloMasq was peak for Twst and no event since had topped it.) When Twst fumbles, it fumbles HARD. (Playful Land and book 2 infamously have many plot holes.) But when Twst is mid, it’s… well, absolutely unremarkable 😭

I think the issue for me is that Twst tries to be ambitious with its stories but has limited success in executing those stories. Maybe it’s the fault of limited budget or assets (as a mobile title and not a console title), maybe the writers just aren’t that skilled, maybe it’s a time constraint or not a lot of research done, whatever.

[starberry-cupcake]

Oh? Can you go more in depth about the writer for atla and the treatment of azula?

Oh, boy. I'll try.

CW under the cut: harassment, toxic workplace situations, misogyny.

Aaron Ehasz was the head writer for ATLA, which is something often overlooked. I've made comments about this before and people at the time seemed to think I was referring to either DiMartino or Konietzko, so I guess his important presence in the writing of the show isn't as well known. Even if he's responsible for a lot of it.

Back in 2019, several allegations were made about Ehasz in regards to his treatment of women, harassment and toxic working environment. These allegations came from different endeavors and contexts, such as his work in animation, his startup and his time as creative director in Riot Games. Here are some articles about this that are still around, I know there are more: x, x, x, x, His lacking response towards these things is still up on his twitter/x account.

A couple quotes from the articles with some of the experiences shared are:

"In addition to treating her like his own personal assistant, he is accused of transitioning her editorial duties to a group and shut down her ideas. Later, she recounted how he told her that he planned to hire her full time, had her lay off several team members and then released her from her position without an explanation. What's more, she said he would bring his children to work and leave them with female production staff members without asking. According to this account, he later attempted to sabotage her career, telling fellow industry members that "I'm a shrieking violent harpy who he was scared of cause when I was leaving I did acts of physicality.""

"It was just so much shutting women down, not taking women seriously, not listening to women, firing a woman and then shit talking her," 

"The general feeling was always… this is Aaron's company, Aaron's show, Aaron's stories to tell (yes, even the ones about women, POC, and lgbtq+ characters), and if you didn't agree you were constantly at risk,"

"I would consistently cry going into work/cry in the bathrooms, not understanding what was wrong with me as a worker because I consistently felt like nothing. I was told that I was ungrateful for my job to my face… We weren't silent at the company either. We wanted to fix things!! We talked about stuff constantly, we just weren't taken seriously."

"I was an Editor. My job was to work with narrative and enforce a style and make sure things stayed consistent. I took my job very seriously. Aaron had me do small tasks like arrange his meetings, personally remind him about his appointments, and try and arrange things for his convenience. At every point of my REAL JOB, which was editing, he ignored me. He even took editing away and made it a group activity that everyone did on a projector on the wall. I voiced how this is NOT how you do my job, and he didn’t care. He kept doing it. I put up with things till the point that I made a correction on something very politely. He told me dismissively “Editing should not get in the way of writing”"

There are more accounts and I remember at the time there were more news sites with information, but that's the general idea.

Now, about Azula.

I could write a lot about her. I've said a lot about her through the years, with different levels of articulation, because I was young once. People have already written a lot about her, better than I could. But, for a general context of where I'm coming from, I'm going to try to explain.

I always felt like she was a character in which the show dropped the ball. Big time.

She was a girl. She was 14 years old. She was a kid like the other kids we see on the show.

Yet, she was depicted as unhinged and unredeemable for it.

She was shown falling apart, she was relentlessly depicted as unloved (especially by her family but also others around her), her isolation was framed as being always her own fault. She violently unraveled by the end of the series, to the point of suffering severe hallucinations, and she was visibly not treated with the same amount of compassion other characters did.

Again, she was a 14 year old child.

Her own uncle, a grown man with a past of war crime, who had his own redemption and is depicted as a hero, who chose to become guardian of her brother, says that "She's crazy, and she needs to go down".

What makes Azula, age 14, beyond hope but his nephew worthy of being cared for? Why is she seen as a monster since she's a literal child? Why was he allowed to grow and change, to have another life and be seen as a hero but she is already too spoiled to be allowed to grow?

At the end of the series and start of the comics, she has been institutionalized, something the writing shows as a proof of Zuko's compassion. Still, first we see her in the comics after the end of the series, she shows up like this:

They choose to depict a 14/15 year old who was put in an institution after a severe breakdown, abandoned by her family and monitored 24/7 as a teenage Hannibal Lecter.

The comics try to give her more depth but fail into giving her the narrative she deserves, especially with what they did with Ursa and how she chose to forget her children.

They use Azula, writing-wise, as a full-on villain. Everything they add to her seems to be with the purpose of making her "earn" her demise.

They treat her mental health as a threat and something that makes her "bad", they don't give her any semblance of redemption and they always, irrevocably, make her to be left alone, something that is always framed as being what she "deserves".

Zuko's feeble attempts to get close are framed less as Azula deserving it and more as instances for Zuko to prove how kind and caring and heroic he is. Because he did deserve a redemption arc. One that is still today considered one of the best written redemption arcs in television.

This is something that I think gets incredibly glaring when you look at Legend of Korra and compare the two.

Audiences in general didn't respond as well to Korra as they did to ATLA, and the reasons for that are varied and depending on who you ask, but Korra had very different writing, especially in the last two seasons.

To me, seasons 3 and 4 are the most effective and better developed, and also happen to be the ones in which they delve into the subjects of mental health, trauma and emotional regulation with the character of Korra.

Korra had different writers for different seasons. DiMartino and Konietzko did season 1, season 2 was done by Tim Hedrick and Joshua Hamilton and they were joined, in seasons 3 and 4, by Katie Mattila, who had worked in ATLA as well. Katie wrote specific episodes that deal with sibling rivalry and with mental turmoil, like Old Wounds and The Calling. I don't know who did what but, to me, the difference in how certain things are treated, especially with girl characters, is very clear.

I can't draw a 1 on 1 comparison between Ehasz's behavior and Azula's treatment, but I can certainly say, as a writer and an editor, that personal biases are always present in what you create and, unchecked, it leads to representations that respond to said biases and limited POV.

I can't assure that Ehasz was thinking of Azula in one way or another, that's between him and his deity of choice, but I can say that a man who treats women the way he has, certainly has a kind of bias in his use of said characters and the way to portray them that might take certain things with less respect or a lack of empathy than I would want in the media I'm partial to.

ATLA is, ultimately, always circling the subject of redemption and forgiveness, of empathy and change. It is less nuanced in its take on good vs evil than Korra, because the story has a different audience and aim, but Aang is all about compassion and he is the Avatar for that series. Still, Azula seemed to be less deserving of that compassion in the eyes of the writers.

And this is not about what she did or didn't do as a character, she isn't a Real Person, she doesn't DO things.

This is about the optics that portray her in a way in which the audience is meant to feel towards her animosity, fear and rejection. It isn't about what she did, because she's a fictional character, it's about why those writing chose to portray her story in this way.

And, with the context we have now, I think we can imagine a few reasons.

[croquis-el]

Authentic Japan in Gyakuten Saiban pt. 1

Those who played the Ace Attorney localization know that all the names authentic to Japan were either changed to common ones, or more or less explained by the characters watched movies/TV series and so on.

And what about the original Japanese version?

We encounter the decoration of a Japanese house in 2-2, when we visit the Kurain village. And what is noteworthy is that Naruhodō is well informed about such items and actively comments on each of them.

For starters, the curious name of one of the locations

同日 某時刻

綾里家・わたりろうか

Dōjitsu bō jikoku

Ayasato-ka watari rō ka

Same day, at a certain time

Ayasato family, Watarirōka

渡り廊下 (watarirōka) - passage

The word consists of the following kanji:

渡り (watari) - transit, ferry, cross

廊 (rō) - corridor, hall

下 (ka) - below, down, descend, low, inferior

I have an idea why the localization called this location "Winding Way", but I'm not a native speaker, so I can't be sure of the correctness of my conclusions. "Wind your way" fits the meaning quite well, but in my opinion, there was no point in reinventing the wheel and calling the "corridor" something else.

___________________________________________

灯ろうに、ししおどし。リッパな庭だなあ。

tōrō ni, shishi odoshi. Rippana niwada nā.

Tōrō lanterns and Shishiodoshi. What a nice garden.

････遊ぶには ちょっとせまいけど。

asobu ni wa chotto semaikedo.

... It's a little small to play in though.

でも、あの焼却炉が気になるなあ。

demo, ano shōkyakuro ga ki ni naru nā.

But I'm curious about that incinerator.

鹿威し (ししおどし) [shishiodoshi] - water-filled bamboo tube which clacks against a stone when emptied, device for scaring birds from gardens

___________________________________________

床の間。････ぼくにはどうも、 この空間のイミがわからない。

tokonoma. Boku ni wa dōmo, kono kūkan no imi ga wakaranai.

Tokonoma. ...I don't really understand the meaning of this space.

事務所にこんなものがあったら、 あっという間に物置だな。

jimusho ni kon'na mono ga attara, attoiumani monookida na.

If I had something like this in my office, it would just turn into a storage room.

しかしここには、きれいな花とシャレた掛け軸がかざってある。

shikashi koko ni wa, kireinahana to shareta kakejiku ga kazatte aru.

But there are beautiful flowers and stylish hanging scrolls here.

Tokonoma is an alcove or niche in the wall of a traditional Japanese home, one of the 4 main components of the main room of a Japanese aristocratic house.

Tokonoma should contain only art objects, such as kakemono - a scroll with a painting or a calligraphically written saying, motto or poem. Also, a small flower arrangement (ikebana) is a common attribute.

Interesting fact: according to Japanese etiquette, the most important guest sits with his back to the tokonoma.

Now pay attention to where and how the futon is located, on which the guest in the beret slept (if she had sat down on the futon, she would have ended up with her back to the tokonoma). Here you have a "simple student studying the occult".

Well, the fact that Naruhodo sees no point in having such a space in the house and is ready to use it as a warehouse, completely ignoring its original purpose, tells us that for him it is considered a relic of the past and has no sacred meaning (even as an art object). He is a modern resident of modern Japan, where there is no place for such traditions.

___________________________________________

そういえば、障子を見るのもひさしぶりだな。

sō ieba, shōji o miru no mo hisashi-burida na.

Now that I think about it, it's been a while since I last saw a shoji screen.

___________________________________________

青あおとしたサカキが まつられている。

aoao to shita sakaki ga matsura rete iru.

A blue Sakaki tree is enshrined here.

Cleyera japonica (sakaki) is a flowering evergreen tree. It is considered sacred to Japanese Shintō faith, and is one of the classical offerings at Shintō shrines. In Shinto ritual offerings to the "gods; spirits" (神, kami), branches of sakaki are decorated with paper streamers (shide) to make tamagushi.

It turns out to be quite interesting - if a person is not familiar with these interior items, then not only will he not tell anything about them, but he will not even know what they are called. Naruhodo, whose childhood fell at the end of the 20th - beginning of the 21st century, could have learned about this only in a couple of cases:

1. He had been in a traditional Japanese house before, saw these items and was told about them by older relatives;

2. He independently studied old interior items (which is not surprising, because he studied art at the university).

This is also confirmed by his comment about shoji: "it's been a while since I last saw a shoji screen".

That is, he saw all this with his own eyes, but quite a long time ago.

Naruhodo is quite well educated in the culture of his own country, although some things have already lost their sacred meaning for him and are not used by him (and, possibly, his family) in everyday life.

Let's continue in the next part.

[abysskeeper]

I could talk about how Oscar's entire scene was a direct conversation with Ruby, where he addressed her as having 'left' and not 'died' (a fascinating dichotomy to Nora's 'we buried our friends today' opening). I could talk about the implications of how he lost his certainty and hope when he lost her, and the fact that Oz can't provide him with any substitution in her absence (Oz has no answers for anything, and I think that is the better choice...disregarding what I may have written for fic in the past).

I could even talk about how his mannerisms and vocabulary are mimicking Oz more and more in his own narration (is it similar souls and too much time spent with Oz in his head? Or is it the merge they're both desperately fighting off?)

But what I can't get over is that they really did just have that wide-shot of Oscar backlit by the orange of the rising sun. Orange...his color, not Oz's. And the sun, his half of the dichotomy he's been blatantly sharing with Ruby for a while now. Also, the sunrise, a common rhetoric for new hopes and the promises of better tomorrows (and the other character to share the sunrise in the epilogue being Qrow, who is actively speaking of those things).

And what I really can't get over is that at his lowest point, when the magic hits him again and we transition to Ren? The note is sunrise turns to nighttime. I know part of that is for the visual effect, but also feels symbolic that it really is Oscar's lowest point. A literal dark point, but also the time when he quite literally cannot shine. There is no sunlight at night, and now that he doesn't have his moon at his side, all he can do is fall to the ground.

My point? Rosegarden stays winning in the worst ways possible.

[davie-bullck]

So I finished Wind and Truth. Major spoilers for the cosmere.

Well, that went both so much better and so much worse than I ever could’ve expected. Not the quality of the writing or the story itself, those were so so so good.

The only prediction I made that came true was Herald Kaladin. I don’t think I ever posted about it but I have been preaching that gospel since Jezrien died. My favorite guy is immortal now!! So hopefully he’ll be around until the Cosmere comes to a close. And good lord Brandon did him so right. It’s a shame he didn’t get to spread therapy to the physical realm on Roshar very much but he’s putting those skills to extremely good use.

I never liked Szeth until this book. I love the direction he’s going in, especially the direction him and Nightblood are going. I AM NOT A THING. No talking sword has ever made me cry so much.

I never vibed with the theories that Gavinor would be Odium’s champion but I thought it was incredibly well done and I’m very excited to see what comes of him in the back half.

Rlainarin is everything I could’ve hoped for, and seeing Brandon’s growth as a writer in his representation of queer and neurodivergent characters has been so rewarding! I also love that Rlain has been given such a relevant role as Bridger of Minds. I was worried he might just become Renarin’s bf and not much more.

Adolin and Maya’s arc was so much more than I could’ve hoped for, I love the Unoathed, and hit fighting the thunderclast was one of my favorite action scenes in the cosmere.

I’m so glad Vasher is sticking around on Roshar AND training Lift??? I love Lift and can’t wait for her book in the back half.

I caught on to the Auxiliary “twist” as soon as he started calling Szeth his squire. I’m glad we got to see the beginning of Sigzil’s transition to Nomad. I’m not sure if I would recommend people reading Sunlit Man between Row and WaT or after, but I was glad I’d read Sunlit Man already. I love Sigzil so so much and really hope we get more of him than just Sunlit Man, fortunately the time dilation thing allows him time to travel the cosmere as Nomad then Zellion and still possibly come back for the back half!

Retribution, the perfect direction for this midpoint in the series. Taravangian wielding two shards that can work well together is such a huge insane threat and I can’t wait to see how the world responds to him.

Although they took a bit of a back seat I was very excited by where the Listeners ended up.

Dalinar. Good LORD Dalinar. If Kaladin didn’t exist he would easily be my favorite character, and as devastating as his death is, I’m so incredibly proud of him and his journey. Given what he was up against, he absolutely made the right decision, forcing the other shards into action. I LOOOOOOOVED him showing Honor that it’s not all about sticking to oaths, showing the power what it could be even in a dire moment like that.

The cosmere fandom is one of the only ones I actively engage with, due in no small part to the morality of its flagship series (I know I know, Mistborn’s cool too)

This is my favorite book series, I will love it until the day I die. I’m sad that there won’t be a new one for a couple years but it’s genuinely something that makes me want to be healthier so I live long enough to see the conclusion. The immortal words are etched into my heart and I will continue to do my best to live by them.

Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination.

[thatlittleviolin]

//A little ramblig about eddie dear bc i cant stop thinking about him

Im not joking when i say this whole post was inspired after seen @//purple-raspberries “the mailman” drawing because O MY STARS WHAT IS THAT DRAWINgGGGGGG /pos

Okay so anyway, whats up with Eddie Dear? As, like, an active character of Welcome Home?

Something rubs me in the wrong way when it comes to him as a whole, not that I dislike him, pretty… much the opposite (thats why I'm making this post) actually, but I feel he is more relevant to the lore than what ppl give him credit for.

Even way before the past-year (2023) Halloween and Homewarming updates, I felt that he must simply be more than what is presented to us about him:

- He is the only character who sees all the rest of the neighbours every day due to his work

- He is one of the few if not the only one who is confirmed to be from outside of Home

- He brings one of the TWO functional clocks in all of Home (which could well be due to the nature of his work, but it doesn't take away from the fact that it's curious)

And I know, ik, this is not a lot. In fact, I believe this is not crucial info, but I want to mention it because it gives, in some way, a certain statement: Eddie Dear is not like everyone else. It differentiates him from the others.

There's simply something intriguing about him; and I constantly think about how, again, he's the resident who interacts most with his neighbors, the most helpful and willing to do anything, and despite that, he's the one who gets the most hits?

Hes always in a rush because he likes helping others, he's clumsy and yet he does his job in a stellar way and yet he goes the more underappreciated by his neighbors and its the first one to get to have his own personal breakdown during the Homewarming

Keep in mind, I don't mean that the other characters are bad or smth, we all know that inside they care for each other and are a pretty nice neighborhood-

But yea, starting with the most obvious, Howdy and Sally are downright condescending, bordering on rude to him. Howdy ignores him or pays half attention when he goes to deliver merchandise to the Bugdega and tries to start a conversation, and despite this, we can see that Howdy asks him for help to deliver things to someone else.

More specifically, during a hidden audio, we can hear that he uses Eddie to deliver an order of bowling balls to Julie DESPITE Howdy having a home delivery system and probably being able to better handle the weight of the merchandise, being at least two heads taller than Eddie, right when Eddie had just told him he had a very tiring day (of course he didn't hear that)

Sally, on her side, is condescending to him to the degree that when we hear them interacting, at least until now, it's mostly her giving him orders. Heck, Sally has a "long name" for every resident EXCEPT Eddie, whom she usually just calls "Mailman" for everything.

Julie and Frank tend to be more passive about it, but it doesn't take away from the fact that they also end up... taking advantage a bit? Or leaving him a bit aside. I know, I know, we all ship FranklyDear here, but it still bothers me how during "Eddie's big lift" (+ another hidden audio) we're shown how Julie tends to involve him in her games without much consideration as to whether Eddie even understands them to begin with, and Frank, despite acknowledging that he works hard and often overworks for everyone, leaves him lying on the ground. They don't even wait for him to get up to say goodbye properly, they just leave him there and go home. It's a bit sad to hear how Eddie talks to himself while getting up and dusting himself off.

And finally, one that I understand is a joke but serves as a transition to my next point: Barnaby and his constant gag of chasing Eddie around the neighborhood as soon as he sees him making his deliveries, or insisting that Eddie lifts him up because “he's just a puppy”. I won't delve into this (not now) because I know that overall that's Barnaby's way of joking; Eddie is not his only victim, but when you mix it with everything said above, it gives off some weird vibes.

It's as if Eddie was the typical "punching bag" character of the show's creators; you know, the one created so that the fun we get from him is at his expense, and sadly, somehow that fact makes sense to me as to why he's the first to have a "breakdown" during Homewarming and said breakdown has to do with, what else? his isolation and probable sadness.

During Sally's history and Poppy's confinement in her own house, there were two predominant themes: what happens when we're in the dark, what lurks in the shadows and whatnot, and isolation: Sally talks about this but Poppy experiences it first hand; shes alone and in the dark, house bricked to the top. However, Eddie gets overwhelmed despite being surrounded by everyone and, clearly, in a lit environment.

My opinion? Said loneliness and darkness don't necessarily need to be tangible, and in Eddie's case, they come from a mental place. My dear doesn't seem to have too much appreciation for himself, constantly letting people get the help they want (need, of course) from him at the cost of his own well-being. Eddie Dear is not happy, in fact, I feel he puts himself down a bit, which equates to darkness, and when he can distract himself from this fact again, Home reminds him; and his loneliness comes in a literal-but-not way. Eddie is never alone, that's evident, but again, in the Homewarming video we're not only emphasized that he's upset and confused because no one has asked him for help, but because he DOESN'T KNOW how to handle his own activities outside of work. Anything that doesn't have to do with the post office but is more personal overwhelms him because he's not used to thinking outside of how he should help others because that's his "only" way of interacting with them. Eddie needs to be needed in order to be closer to others, and when that's not the case, it frustrates him so much that it even seems like anger.

Heck, it's even sad how Sally mentions that nobody bothered him with the usual tasks they would require him for to give him a day off, and then downright nobody interacted with him. Not even Julie called him to play. When Sally finds him under Home's tree, she asks him to escort her to Home for the Homewarming and it's narrated that they're the last to arrive, but if Eddie hadn't left his house then... what? Would he have stayed there? (Lowkey I theorize that he wouldn't have, because of the fact that Sally and Frank seem to have more awareness than the others, I feel like she was actually waiting for him)

Personally, I consider that when it comes to a case like Eddie's, it's even worse, because you don't need to be actively in a closed and dark place, isolated (in what voluntary situation would someone have to be like that?) for your head to go completely to shit. Think about it, you make Home angry and he doesn't need the rest of the neighbors to build a wall around you. It does what you already do well: it locks you up with your thoughts and leaves you there.

So,,, uh, yeah, I don't know how to end this.

I just wanted to talk about my fav man.

somebody help him PLAEASSE

[chrliekclly]

if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

[halfetirosie]

♡ An Edmond-Post for the struggling fanfic writers ♡

(NOTE: This post will be LONG. I tried to be thorough and include evidence.)

I feel an AGGRESSIVE MORAL OBLIGATION to make this post because of the writing homies that want to write Edmond into their fics, but feel like they don't know enough about him.

My recent Character-Ask post for Edmond might help you guys a little, but I think you could use more information.

The NU: Carnival Lore Spreadsheet (Google Sheets)

This isn't an Edmond-exclusive resource, but still helpful.

If you don't spend any time on the subreddit, you may not have seen this, but this is a fan-made lore spreadsheet contains information the game's world and each of the characters. It hasn't been updated for a little over 3 months, so it's a bit outdated, but it is teeming with practical information that can help familiarize you with characters' backgrounds and such.

(Quick note for Edmond's "Power" category-- although he is unfamiliar with actually using magic, in Frozen Echoes/Tranquil Cloud Edmond intimacy rooms, we discover that Edmond has recently started to practice magic (particularly Light/healing magic).)

2. The current Edmond Era (the most recent Ed Dynamic)

Many people seem to be intimidated by the prospect of writing Edmond because he's a "tsundere." However, to borrow the words from my Character Ask post, "that’s only out of habit (and shyness), rather an actual reflection of his desires." In other words, Ed's inner workings probably look something like this:

It also is noteworthy that, when Eiden initiates sexual activity, Edmond willingly goes along with him. By that I mean, he might scold Eiden a lot and say something to the effect of, "You are a pervert!" but he doesn't actually tell Eiden to stop what he's doing when they're starting out. And while it doesn't happen as often in recent rooms, the habitual "Stop♡" and "No♡" Edmond might say are very clearly insincere, considering his tone of voice (as well as his physical reactions).

And during the rare occasions where Ed does tell Eiden something like "Stop," Eiden will stop; but then Ed will look disappointed, so Eiden will ask him if he wants to continue, and Edmond will say yes. Here's an example of this type of exchange from Sweet Aroma R2:

There have also been times when [we can infer], at the beginning of H-activities, Eiden doesn't have as clear of a read on Edmond's opinion; in which case, he will verbally search for confirmation on whether he can do more. The most accessible example of this is Ed's SR R3:

Here is another example, from Tranquil Cloud R5:

While Eiden is still the one that initiates sexy activity (14/16 of the Ed H scenes), Edmond willingly goes along immediately. That is the crux of the typical Edmond dynamic: Edmond also has strong desires, but is usually too embarrassed to admit them, so he needs an understanding partner that will guide him along until he feels secure enough [and/or horny enough] to admit his wants.

Edmond is in a bit of a transition period right now. He's starting to be much more active in his H-activities with Eiden. He also might "blame" Eiden for his own desires, but he's beginning to own up to his feelings, too. From Tranquil Cloud R2:

3. Edmond Anatomy & Kinks

One word: SENSITIVE. Edmond is HELLA SENSITIVE.

(I'd argue he's even more sensitive than Olivine, but idk if you could consider that a definitive fact or not.)

If there's an area that can be considered a relatively common erogenous zone, it's most likely an erogenous zone on Edmond. Here's the one's that have been canonically confirmed or STRONGLY suggested:

Mouth - Edmond's mouth is very sensitive. When he kisses for the first time in Sweet Aroma, Eiden coaxes him into admitting which specific parts of his mouth are most sensitive; roof of his mouth, tongue, sides. Edmond likes kissing a LOT, and has initiated kisses himself at least 3 times (Elite Instructor R5, Flaming Secret R5, Tranquil Cloud R5)

Ears - Ed has a strong reaction in Tranquil Cloud R2 (Eiden blowing on his ear helps send him over the edge to finally cum)

Neck - Eiden kisses his neck and Ed has a verbal reaction in Tranquil Cloud R5

Nipples - Best example is in Sweet Aroma R2 (he can cum from nipple-play alone); also featured in Spring Chaos R2 and Elite Instructor R2

Hands - Many rooms include Suggestive Hand-Holding™ but White Lover R2 includes significant hand-play

Stomach/Waist - White Lover R2 includes Eiden caressing Ed's stomach, and in Tranquil Cloud R2 Ed has a strong reaction to Eiden tightening his hold on his waist

Ass - In Elite Instructor R2 Edmond gets spanked and he is VERY into it

Penis - *obvious answer is obvious*

Anus - Has cum from anal-play alone multiple times (including fingering and rimming). It isn't explicitly stated, but I'm pretty sure Edmond's anus is more sensitive than his penis

Additional canon sexual preferences:

A Little Pain - As is famously known, Edmond enjoys a little pain during sex

Praise & Dirty Talk - Gets very embarrassed by it (and will usually scold Eiden) but he has strong positive reactions to it

Roleplay + Dom/Sub Undertones - We see it in SR R5; once Ed is convinced to try it out he gets extremely aroused and feels more comfortable engaging in *mild* dirty-talk himself. It's also sorta-kinda in Elite Instructor R2, but only a little bit on Eiden's part (calling Ed "sensei")

Kissing - I mentioned it before, but I must emphasize it again; EDMOND LOVES KISSING

Overstimulation - Most Ed intimacy rooms include some element of this

Semi-Public Sexy Stuff? - Depending on if you count sex-in-a-carriage, this happens in 7-8/16 intimacy rooms. Idk if this is necessarily Ed's personal kink, but Ed isn't exactly opposed to it as long as Eiden is being careful. He does appear to get excited when Edmond says something like "don't be too loud, or someone will come and see you like this!" From Elite Instructor R2:

Light Bondage - Only seen is Elite Instructor R2, but he seems to like it:

4. Some Ao3 reading recommendation that you can use for Edmond-specific inspiration/references

As a passionate Edmond-Lover, here are some works of fanfic that I think do a particularly good job of writing Ed-relationships. Obviously (by the nature of fanfic) many of them take a lot of liberties, but when I was reading these stories, I didn't need to suspend my disbelief at all. The way Edmond acts in these stories feels very in-character to me.

(NOTE: All of these recommendations are NSFW where Edmond bottoms. Be sure to read their tags!)

Literally everything luster_candy has written (6 works at the time I'm posting this) - just be aware all of it is Eiden/Edmond.

Reprieve, Release by kkuro (~11k words) - Eiden/Edmond, one of the best (if not the best) BDSM-heavy Ed fics. Only note is, because this was written in 2022, Ed acts a bit more stiff/repressed in the beginning than he would now. In-character for Early Era Edmond tho.

A Helpful Hand by dracula (orphan_account) (~4.3k words) - Olivine/Edmond, Olivine tops (a rarity) and Ed is cursed with a V. Don't worry, Olivine-Lovers, he isn't a hella OOC sadist or ultra-masculine dom. XD Just very sweet and very horny, and Edmond is ruthlessly subjected to his brand of horny nonsense.

Do You Know Where the Wild Things Go by no birdstofly (~8k words) - Yakumo/Edmond, idk if it's OOC for Yakumo but it's in-character for Current Era slightly-more-honest Edmond.

The Knight's Discipline by RiyeRose (~3k words) - Restricted to Ao3 members, Kuya/Edmond. I subscribe to the belief that Ed would put up with Kuya if he were horny enough, which is why I don't consider this OOC. I think this fic has the perfect amount of BDSM that Ed would realistically enjoy.

Fanfic where Edmond tops is honestly very hard to come across. That's understandable, because for Edmond to top, there would have to be extremely special circumstances, and it would have to be written carefully in order to not seem too OOC. The best example of an Top-Emond fic I've been able to find is this:

Hidden Guidance by Okami01 (~1.9k words) - Edmond/Olivine, Edmond shyly admits he wants to try topping Olivine, and Oli is obviously down for it. (Let's be honest here; out of everyone, if Edmond were ever to top anyone, it would 100% be Olivine)

♡I hope people found this helpful!!!♡

I know reading this giant post was like reading an essay, but hopefully it was worth the time and effort I put into it!

If anyone has extra inquires, or if other Edmond-Lovers want to chime in with extra information I might've missed, feel free to put them in the comments!

[ohsekhmet]

My thoughts on these last two episodes:

Though things seems to have gone back to what they were, I believe they are also completely different at the same time.

Because although being a vampire was Guillermo’s dream, I think in the years he’s spent with the vampires, the main reason he wanted to be turned was so he could be considered a valued part of the team

He wanted the vampires to see him like family, to care about him the way he does for them.

And that’s come true, all the vampires care and love and worry for Guillermo now.

They all demonstrated this in their own different ways this season:

from Laszlo actively trying to help Guillermo, showing up at his motel to apologize for not being as helpful (which was actually very sweet of him) to that final scene with Derek

to Nadja taking Guillermo to the vet and protecting him from being harmed

To Colin stopping by the motel to give Guillermo a farewell gift.

They all were worried about him. They all didn’t want him to get killed, that’s why they kept his secret despite knowing how hurt and upset Nandor would be. It’s such a three sixty from the beginning of the series. The found family vibes really made me want to cry in the best way.

(But since I am a huge nandermo shipper I saved my Nandor points for last because I’m gonna dive in DEEP)

I knew that we wouldn’t get a love confession this season, I believe that Guillermo will either be turned into a vampire in a last ditch effort to save his life (hopefully by Nandor)

Or he’ll eventually change his mind and ask Nandor again to be turned and I think if he were to ask again (after everything that’s happened) I think Nandor would do it if he believed Guillermo was sure.

Guillermo did mention to Nandor at the fake ceremony that he really still wanted to be a vampire. (So who knows I wanna keep hope alive)

But overall, I loved this season.

We got a rare peak behind the curtain at Nandor.

He not only deeply cares for Guillermo and can’t imagine losing him but he also knew all along that Guillermo was not ready to be a vampire.

(Remember that scene in s3 where Nandor tells Guillermo that vampirism is a curse? And that he cared too much about him to do that to him?)

The fact that Nandor memorized Guillermo’s letter to him when they first met just speaks volumes about how much he actually loves Guillermo.

Nandor has grown so much this season, it was so refreshing to see. I mean all those self help books really paid off. Cause, not only did he set his own hurt feelings aside and forgave Guillermo despite how important loyalty and honor are to him but

he also didn’t act impulsively when it came to Guillermo transitioning. He let Guillermo experience vampirism and observed his reactions and emotions before stepping in.

(I hope we continue to see more character growth like this and that hopefully in s6 we finally get some romantic plot for these two because fuck I’m in too deep to quit this show/ ship lol)

[muffinrecord]

Blah blah blah, a bit of a ramble on my thoughts about Exedra based on which Homura we seem to be getting at the start.

In Magia Record, we got Glasses Homura. I wasn't active in the fandom when Magireco was first being announced in its original form (so not NA), but I feel like Glasses Homura is illuminating in what kind of story you're telling for Puella Magi.

Glasses Homura has a kind of optimism and silliness that allows for lighter storytelling, at least initially. She's not jaded yet, not so worn down that she's only focusing on saving Madoka and having given up on the others. That means her presence allows for stories where everyone can get along more easily. Of course, this doesn't mean that things won't go wrong-- Scene 0 starts with Glasses Homura to make the transition into Cool Homura more painful later on. But overall you see what I mean, I hope. Glasses Homura brings the idea that the Holy Quintet might get along. She and Madoka might be friends, she could possibly be friends with Sayaka, Mami might be in her leadership position, and Kyoko is the aloof ally who swoops in every once in a while.

Cool Homura though-- starting off with her gives a different vibe. She's closed off and keeps her distance from people. If Cool Homura exists then it's likely that her interactions with Madoka are kept to a minimum. If the two interact, it will be more detached and cold. Sayaka might be a point of friction, as Homura will represent to her a darker side to the nature of magical girls that makes Sayaka desire to oppose, even if it means hurting herself and the ones around her. That friction means Mami will also be more closed off to others (to protect her team from perceived threatening magical girls). Kyoko will also become more ambivalent and can be a hinderance as much as a protective ally.

I'm not saying it's impossible for them all to be a happy friend group like in Magia Record, but that we're starting at a very different point. Many of the Holy Quintet-focused stories had less conflict and more slice of life, focusing on joyful moments and friendship over distrust and points of friction.

Now-- I don't think that Cool Homura is a bad thing*. I liked Magia Record and I liked seeing the Holy Quintet get to hang out and be happy and heal and whatever, but I also didn't like the lack of conflict between the girls sometimes. I think Magia Record tredded on the side of caution by making the girls all friendly with each other ultimately at the end, with minor bits of hostility that get smoothed over. For example, the end of arc 2 had all the different factions work well together with little-to-no hostility. On one hand it's great to see your favorite characters have friendships, on the other it feels like it reduces the characters and their issues to blank moments and smooths out their rougher edges-- and those rougher edges might be what attracted to you in the first place.

I'm going all over the place, sorry haha. Basically, I'm curious as to what kind of vibe the new game will have. Getting Cool Homura over Glasses Homura right at the start makes me think that it will be rougher between the characters, and I'm curious about it.

*My only issue with Cool Homura being the version we're getting first is that it makes me wonder if the story will be another rehash of the anime, which I'm tired of. I love the anime and I love the spinoffs but I don't want to see them endlessly reiterated in different formats (especially then the anime is always going to be superior to a live2d cutscene in a game). New stories are better than ones retold and retold. There's value sometimes in seeing a story redone if it adds new material, but I think at this point it's been done to death. I will say that I liked Scene 0 because it shows different looks to the girls and was more about Mabayu (and it gave interesting new character interactions between Mabayu and the others), but I also know that there are folks who hated Scene 0 for this exact reason of another rehash of the anime.

[writing-for-life]

The Portrayal of Womanhood in A Game of You

I’ll be honest with you: Writing about The Sandman with a focus on (queer) women surely feels different in light of the recent allegations.

This meta has been languishing in my drafts for a long time, and since I’m currently clearing the pile, I will still publish it. Mostly because these views are mine and not someone else’s. And also because they’re critical to a degree. However, if you feel that these are topics that you currently find hard to engage with, this is the exit sign (I totally get it).

With that out of the road, let’s talk about the women of A Game of You (and why it was always one of my least favourite arcs, despite the fact that my literary and thematic preferences should have made it one of my favourite ones)…

Gender roles are a central theme in A Game of You. Before the arc even moves into these themes on a deeper level, we already get this:

Barbie tells Wanda that she wasn’t allowed to read comics when she was a young girl. And that immediately struck a chord with me upon my first reading as a teenager: I was allowed to read comics, but I still remember getting the side-eye, especially from boys. Somehow, you didn’t belong to their club (even if you arguably knew more about Batman than they did 🤣). The reason Barbie gives us is that reading comics supposedly rendered her “unladylike” (yes, comics were considered “boyish”, at least when I was a teenager, and this is exactly the time we’re talking about here). But it’s not just about how a girl is supposed to act—it’s also about actively excluding her from something that’s only for men/boys. And while the topic of, ��What’s a girl supposed (and allowed!) to be like?” isn’t something either particularly dwell on in that moment, Wanda faces the struggle of having to define and fight for her womanhood daily: As a trans woman, she feels resistance on a constant basis. When she talks about Weirdzos from the Hyperman comics, this is actually a nod to DC’s Bizarro, who could be described as Superman’s shadow (there’s a whole story why they were called Weirdzos instead of Bizarros in The Sandman, but that’d lead too far here. You’ll probably find it on Google).

Close enough to the “real thing”, but always “slightly off”

And Wanda carries the shadow of her biology. All the time. There’s no escape for her, no respite, no true support.

We also see this in a scene with Hazel, one of Wanda's neighbours who lives in a lesbian relationship with her girlfriend Foxglove. Hazel noticed that Wanda has "a thingie." Despite the fact that a lot of “weird” things are happening in those panels, part of that is definitely that Wanda has not fully (in Hazel’s eyes) transitioned:

What is she, exactly (not who)?

And that question gets answered very painfully when Wanda, Hazel, Foxglove, and Thessaly come together to free Barbie from being trapped in the Dreaming. Thessaly is sure she can defeat the Cuckoo that holds Barbie captive. However, she needs menstrual blood to perform a ritual that will allow them to traverse the Moon Road into the Dreaming. During this process, Thessaly insensitively refers to Wanda as a man and prevents her from joining the journey with Foxglove and Hazel (and no, this isn’t about “Thessaly the TERF”—I already made my position on that clear and think that whole discussion needs a lot more nuance than fandom is often willing to engage in).

Maiden, Mother and Crone

Thessaly's statement, "This isn’t your route. It can’t be," further highlights the discrimination Wanda faces on a daily basis. She “isn’t” seen as a woman now, and she “can’t” ever be, even if she had reassignment surgery—Wanda would still be seen as a man by the ancient powers that be.

Wanda's struggle, more than any other character's, highlights the ongoing conflict between self-identity and societal perception of women. And that’s unfortunately still a struggle most women face. But Wanda’s character is particularly poignant because she is repeatedly forced to reaffirm her sense of self, only to be torn down again and again. Even Barbie, who always supports her and would probably never knowingly hurt her, says this when Wanda reveals her childhood name:

“Alvin? That's your real name?"

Please imagine what it must feel like if even the ones closest to you refer to your dead name as your “real” name, even if it’s without malicious intent (of course Barbie makes good on that later, but…).

Wanda can never truly find comfort in anyone. She is constantly confronted with the disparity between her self-perception and how the world views her. Ultimately, Wanda's exclusion from entering the Dreaming (and there’s more symbolism in that than you can shake a stick at—not just because she’s denied her womanhood, but also because she is denied entering a place of hope and possibility, and not least because she is denied being capable and having agency: Thessaly repeatedly acknowledges Wanda is important, and that she needs her help. But that’s on her terms, not Wanda’s) leads to her tragic death: The storm caused by drawing down the moon destroys the apartment where Wanda remains to watch over Barbie’s body.

And that’s why Wanda’s arc in the comics will always stay problematic to me (I don’t know how optimistic I can be for the TV series, because we’ve already seen her headstone in BTS shots, even if her overall arc seems to have changed): Dream grants Barbie a boon, which she uses to save the women in the Dreaming, but Wanda is not among them. There is no saving her—not in this world, not in any other.

Wanda's conservative parents bury her with her deadname Alvin Mann (and her second name adds insult to injury, because it is the German spelling of “man”, as in “male”. And again, I’m somewhat glad they have changed this for the series, as seen on said headstone, because I never got why choosing that name was necessary in the first place. Or let’s say: I get it, but I don’t think it was needed and was layered on too thick. Sometimes subtle does it, sorry).

Why is Wanda so consistently shamed, while Hazel and Foxglove's lesbian relationship is regarded not a big deal (I’m obviously not insinuating it should be, see my disclaimer at the bottom of this post)? Although I have to admit there are things about that one that always rubbed me up the wrong way, too: The dumbing down of Hazel (honestly, most of us were not that clueless about reproduction in the 80s and 90s, lesbians or otherwise), the play on butch/femme stereotypes to then clumsily try to turn them on their heads (which did not work for me), the still somewhat male gaze applied to Foxglove (she didn’t have to sleep naked with her tits on display, did she?), the implication that all women somehow end up as mothers (if they don’t end up dead), even if just “accidentally”… There’s a whole lot to be said about the topic of motherhood, and how it gets instrumentalised in several Sandman arcs, but maybe that’s for another time...

To explore that question, I want to have a closer look at Barbie, who is a (in my view, often clumsy) stand-in for the gender-identity of many (CIS) women.

A quick throwback to The Doll’s House

The first signs of Barbie's identity crisis don't appear in A Game of You, but rather in The Doll's House. She is introduced as one half of “Ken-Barbie”: They finish each other's sentences, Barbie lacks a distinct personality and is completely overshadowed by being a “traditional wife” (maybe not the type of trad wife we think about today, and yet…). The fact that she and Ken share names with plastic dolls underscores the artificial nature of their identities and their relationship.

Barbie's dream-life always felt more authentic and meaningful to her than her waking reality—that’s why she is only a shell of herself when she can’t dream (after the vortex interlude with Rose Walker). She is passive, conforms to her father's expectations of being "ladylike" and adheres to “good” CIS- and heteronormative behaviour. And then, after her divorce, she feels uprooted, shows little motivation and relies on Wanda for support. Freeing herself from her shackles could have been a story of reclaiming her power without the layer of implied loneliness (I’ll get to that). Instead, she needs to suffer for a bit…

Barbie being trapped in her dream world also traps her in a state of passivity: Dreams are not real. You can make them real, but that’s not what she does—they are a maladjusted escape for her. And yet (or maybe rather “because”), instead of directly confronting and fighting the Cuckoo, Barbie smashes the Porpentine (much to the Cuckoo's delight).

Upon waking…

Upon waking, Barbie's personality hasn't changed much from the woman we first met. When she goes to Wanda’s funeral, she struggles to defend Wanda from her transphobic aunt despite trying.

However, she engages in a small but significant act of rebellion by crossing out "Alvin" on Wanda's headstone with her favourite lipstick and writes her real name instead.

Barbie then recalls a dream she had while traveling to Wanda's funeral. In this dream, she sees Wanda not as she was in life, but as an idealised version of herself—soft, more curved, and wearing a pink dress. Death stands beside Wanda, symbolising that she is recognised for who she truly is.

And I get it: The idea was to say, “She was always a woman, even to the cosmic powers that be. Eat that, Thessaly and everyone else.” But there’s also the part of me that wants to say, “You know what? She was good the way she was. Perfect in her imperfection. We didn’t need to affirm her womanhood by showing her as a stereotypical woman.” The use of “perfect” and “drop-dead gorgeous” always really rubbed me up the wrong way in relation to the way she was portrayed in that panel. Because it portrays a stereotypical woman: That’s what you look like if you need to/want to pass. And this applies, sadly enough, to all women in one way or another, no matter what gender we were assigned at birth. But if that scene holds meaning to people, I also get it. My more critical take on it is maybe down to my own history (again: disclaimer at the bottom of this post).

Simultaneously, the destruction of the Land in the Dreaming grants Barbie a newfound independence. She is now alone, without her best friend or the friends of her dreams, but these losses have given her freedom. And for a moment, loneliness becomes the ultimate resolution to Barbie's identity conflict. And I found that idea horrible, I’ll be brutally honest with you:

On the final page of A Game of You, Barbie is shown alone, waiting for a bus to an unknown destination. She reflects on her dream of Wanda, where she had the chance to say goodbye to her past life. For a moment, she stands rigidly still, and that moment feels… really long? Separated from her past and facing an uncertain future, she is free from anyone's expectations or desires. And maybe, in that simplicity, she finds freedom.

And maybe, A Game of You challenges the idea that we have full control over our identities. Our self-perception and how others perceive us are always influenced by external factors. And somewhat, I could never quite shake the feeling the story equates the removal of the ties that bind us (in this case: relationships) and/or death with freedom: Wanda only fully realises her identity in death, and Barbie feels most liberated when she is free from past entanglements and future obligations. Whether that notion is truly rejected in the end is probably down to the reader: Barbie turns and runs towards her bus, heading into a future that, while uncertain, maybe also holds a glimmer of hope. Unfortunately, none of the women of The Sandman get off particularly well in that department, and that is a common theme…

Disclaimer: I write this as a CIS bisexual woman in her 40s who has been in relationships with both women and men for 30+ years. Two of them led to marriage/civil partnership: One with a CIS woman, also bi (we were together for 10 years, 3 of them in a CP), one with my now husband (CIS straight man, married for 10 years, together longer, and we have a kid together). I don’t need to tell you this, but I am because I think it is important to disclose my own bias and experiences as a queer woman in the 90s, which include coming out, experiencing bi-erasure and misogyny from both inside and outside the LGBTQ+ community. As such, they will definitely colour the way I read and interpret A Game of You.

[imharnaannesta]

I have had a request for my neckline theory so @cuteinsanity here it is.

The basic theory is this:

When Padme is hiding something her necklines are higher and when her necklines are lower she is being open and honest.

This first comes up in The Phantom Menace. Queen Amidala consistently wears high necklines and so do the handmaidens in many of their costumes. Padme is hiding her identity. The first instance of a lower neckline is when she accompanies Qui-Gon into town on Tatooine. While she has not yet revealed herself as Queen she is no longer actively hiding. She’s not passing herself off as one of the nearly identical handmaidens or taking on the heavy makeup and altered voice that hide her as Queen. On Tatooine, off the ship, she’s just Padme. And while she uses third person referring to the Queen’s opinions and desires she is expressing her own thoughts and opinions freely.

Interestingly in the scene where she reveals herself as Queen it is the decoy who has a lower neckline while Padme and the handmaidens still have fairly high necklines. But given the nature of the secret and revelation I think this still supports my theory.

Her final costume as Queen Amidala, after she has revealed herself to all our main characters, also has a lowered neckline and a fairly open one. It is also her lightest color palette and made of lightweight appearing materials reflecting the weight that has been lifted from her.

In Attack of the Clones we once again see very high necklines associated with using a decoy or wearing a disguise. Both her refugee disguise and the cloak she wears on Tatooine involve covering her neck up to her chin. But we also see this aspect of her costuming become a bit more complex because she is also concealing her feelings for Anakin.

Both her lake dress and her black dinner dress show a lot more skin than she has shown before but also cover her neck. In both of these moments despite displaying an increased vulnerability she is still holding something back.

(This also holds true in her costume from the deleted scenes with her family where she once again has a high neckline and actively denies to her family having any feelings for Anakin)

Later while she wears a cloak which covers her neck entirely when they arrive on Tatooine she takes it off after being introduced to the Lars family. And the necklines remain low until they are preparing to leave and going to rescue Obi-Wan.

The neckline on Geonosis is sightless complicated in terms of symbolism because it is a costume that carries Padme through a transition from concealing/denying her true feelings for Anakin to having to conceal from others her relationship with Anakin. By letting go of one secret she takes on another. Thus Padme starts out on Geonosis in a shirt with a high neckline under a shawl wrapped around her shoulders and neck. She loses the shawl before giving in to her love for Anakin but maintains a high neckline because by entering into this relationship she now has a new secret.

Her wedding dress then also has a low neckline. In that moment she is not hiding anything, her love can be out in the open.

Revenge of the Sith is once again quite interesting because Padme has several secrets to keep. She is hiding both her marriage and her pregnancy from most people and especially her peers but she also begins hiding her involvement with the budding rebellion from Anakin. Thus her moments of true openness are pretty limited and take place in her apartment. Notably she has a lower neckline when she learns from Obi-Wan what has happened to the Jedi and to Anakin, she’s no longer hiding the relationship or pregnancy, but when she sneaks off, intending to get to Anakin before Obi-Wan, her neckline is higher although not very high.

This is an interesting moment because while Padme is wearing a higher neckline because of her intent to hide Anakin from Obi-Wan it is also a moment in which Anakin believes that she had intended to hide from him a plot against his life.

It’s hard to evaluate how the neckline when she’s giving birth would lay if she were standing or even sitting up, frankly I think giving birth is a vulnerable enough situation without a lowered neckline, but regardless while she may not be keeping any new secrets she’s also not revealing anything she hasn’t already.

Interestingly her funeral costume has a lower neckline, which could suggest that in death she is no longer concealing anything. And in fact she is visibly apparently pregnant (which is a normal state for shortly post-partem bodies but given that no one knew she was pregnant at all is a surprise to many I’m sure) and the carved pendant she received from Anakin is visible in her hands. Arguably her two biggest secrets are out in the open.

And yet, while not by her own design, she is still keeping secrets. Her children are alive and so is her rebellion.