Tumgik
#and now you can’t go back to sleep
skyloftian-nutcase · 1 year
Text
I want to take a 100 year nap, Wild, move over.
95 notes · View notes
ghost-bxrd · 24 days
Text
Prompt:
Calvin Rose finds a catatonic teenager roaming the streets and… well, the poor kid looks dead on his feet, and it’s raining cats and dogs, he can’t just leave him there.
And, it’s fine. He’s just passing through (can’t risk more with the Court still at large) and will be back on the road come morning. And he’ll sleep easier knowing he kept the kid from certain death.
So, really, how the hell did he end up with the very same kid riding shotgun and nagging him to turn up the radio to Phoebe Bridgers?
84 notes · View notes
rainbowvamp · 2 years
Text
hob in the dreaming just minding his own business:
dream: *drops a book on a table that was not there three seconds ago*
hob: hey buddy… there a problem?
dream, glaring at the book: yes
hob:
dream, still glaring:
hob: …wanna share?
dream: do you truly believe i do not care for you?
hob:
hob: what the fuck??
dream, opening the book that is hob’s letters (written and unwritten) and pointing to one from a couple weeks ago:
the letter: “…and maybe sometimes i still wonder if you’ll come back. if you’re just amusing yourself with me…”
hob: what about that says i don’t care about you?
dream: it implies that i do not care for you. do you think so little of me?
hob, breaking out of that weird dream space where your brain just accepts stuff and actually analyzing what is going on: wait, no. hold on. how do you have this?
hob, scanning through a set of letters he wrote on an artistic kick in the 1700s: no really! how do you have these?
dream: my realm contains every book ever written and unwritten.
hob: and so you read my letters?
dream: they were addressed to me
hob: no. no. they were not addressed to anyone. they were unsent.
dream: i’m clearly the intended recipient.
hob: you are not. i never meant you to read these.
hob: i never even wrote some of these! i just thought this one.
hob: did you read all of them??
dream:
dream: yes.
hob: what the fuck?
2K notes · View notes
hamletthedane · 3 months
Text
“Isn’t it weird that we don’t use cell phones in our dreams”
That’s not weird. What’s weird is that we cannot READ in our dreams. What the fuck is with that. We don’t talk about this enough - it’s so spooky.
25 notes · View notes
alluralater · 4 months
Text
hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
49 notes · View notes
candycryptids · 4 months
Note
Well, now I have to pop in and ask YOU a question. Which is hard because looking over all your characters pages, I'm sobbing on the fucking floor... I love them all so much????
But! I'd really like to know what sparked Chuusday's interest in technology and how did she get so good with it?! ♡
N..nobodies ever asked that before 🫣💦 So I’ll hammer some of the details out for you RIGHT MEOW! A 2sday-Wednesday special :3
Actually we’re gonna cover a lot of ground I haven’t talked about openly before so settle in
Chuu’s fascination with Machines n the like started REAL early, early when she was small. She wanted to…. Disassemble things. Crates, shelves, alchemist tools of the trade, Mammets… carts… she wanted to lay it all out. See how it fit together. And then MAYBE put it all back together again. And she lived on an island, in a port town, with her mom (an actual Viera) who was continuously unwell and kept getting worse every time she got better and sick again, and the sunseeker chirurgeon who was trying to treat her condition, and his partner, another sunseeker who if I recall correctly, was an alchemist. So. The house she was staying in had no shortage of things a Viera with curious + grabbing destructive hands shouldn’t be grabbing.
It takes coaxing to get her to start putting stuff back together again all the time, and by that point at least she’d stopped trying to pry nails out of things (wooden objects were a pain, she found, to take apart, and piece back together, the wood sometimes was old and slightly rotted, the nails came out unkindly, the shapes were often simple.)… things with screws and bolts were… fun. Her dads (in her mind, they were her dads, but out loud, it was sir, and mister) kept trying to send her out on Missions (chores; your mom isn’t doing well, we don’t want you to have to keep hanging around the house while her every breath rattles and her every cough is harsh and wet. Chuu knew. She was 14. It wasn’t hard to figure out…) for, small stuff. Fetch quests; go pick up ingredients for dinner, or hunt down this one small herb on the cliff side above town for this tincture I’m trying to make to help alleviate the cough symptoms. I have enough for now but having more to replenish what I’m using isn’t bad.. low stakes, yknow.
And when her Mom finally passed from her illness the pair kept Chuu on (Chuu herself will not comment on the her mom and the dads’ relationship, but I CAN and I’ll tell you those fuckers were poly. They might never have slapped a label on it but the love was there. It didn’t start that way, but it certainly was that way by the end.)
This ended up wildly off track didnt it. (Let me get it back on track, and in so doing gracefully gloss over the chunk of history I’m unclear on 💖)
She gets REALLY good at what she’s doing when she signs on with the Garlean Empire. It wasn’t… a hard choice. There was nothing left tying her down where she had been by that point; they’d offered direction, room, board… and, well… her current skills were enough to get placed under Midas’ guidance.
And she found that. Magitek is incredibly interesting compared to whatever she’s had her hands on before and she loves it. Purpose. Drive. She learns how to build things that she’d never dreamed of before under Midas’ guidance. She helps refine designs for two legged heavy artillery a lone person can pilot. To deal with the enemy. She does not think about who the enemy is. The enemy is a problem, and the Machine, glorious, flawless, violent, is the answer.
And then they blow up Bozja. Midas with it. An entire city, wiped off the map. She finds that the numbers- subjects- on the sheet that they’d been running experiments on have faces. Haunted, tired faces, with dull eyes and drawn cheeks and small hands. Children. You can’t just quit, but Midas was gone. Cid was missing. Nero was a thorn in her side and she didn’t want to continue work under someone less competent, or pursue someone else’s dreams. So …. She went missing too. Crashed an airship into Thavnair and stripped the wreckage to the bones for coin. Went into temporary hiding in Kugane, then Ul’Dah, and finally fell in with the slightly sketchy free company she’s with now. She maintains their airships and submersibles and they don’t ask where she came from 💖
I think I got a lil lost in the reeds and I was supposed to go to sleep like 4 hours ago but I kept turning this question over in my mind like a rubrix cube despite my best efforts >v>; The Long And Short Is; she’s always wanted to know how stuff worked, and falling in with Garlemald for (cautiously estimating her time there at about 30+ years) helped her understanding grow in great leaps. Around the start of 2.0 she awakens the Echo (Thrice damned Migraine Creator) and doesn’t realize it’s use until her next encounter with Allagan tech (where she interfaces on a personal level and. It kicks her new obsession up. And… allagans did quite a bit of soul research… it is, somewhat, why there is a Tuesday.)
… 🫣 thank you for the question !!!!!!! I’m. Hopin this makes even a lick of sense, ahaha… some of the stuff I had partially cemented in my mind… I had to fix, after reading the actual lore and wiki -w•;; but not much.
17 notes · View notes
foxgloveinspace · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
(X)
@blue-lollipops-and-ice-clouds
Ok, 1) I am so sorry haha, to be fair I could hear the Alkaline laugh with my 30$ skull candies (that I recommend!! They sound pretty freaking good for their price ok)
2). YES YES YES, exactly. He’s sleeping.
13 notes · View notes
rooolt · 2 years
Text
The concept of lark finding out “what the doodler wants” and then shattering it before anyone else can know is sooooo fascinating to me because the way I’ve always read it the doodler doesn’t want anything. To me, the doodler was horrifying because it was not an all powerful malicious entity with goals or wants, but a faceless brainless force of nature that was so strong it’s mere presence in the world spelled destruction. Like never once in the podcast has the doodler shown any agency or intent, every action in service of it even in amod seemed entirely motivated and verbalized by its acolytes. We know from amod that the doodler thrives of the concept of randomness and to me that’s all it ever was. It was so heavily entrenched in the random and chaos that it physically could not have wants or desires for power because it would so be against its very nature. That’s why the doodler was scary to me, because it could not be manipulated or tricked like a person could, it was simple raw destructive horrifying power, and I don’t think the lark stuff disproves that. What if that is the truth, what if the doodler doesn’t want anything? If you’re lark, a person who feels crushing responsibility for this disaster and you find out that it is no different in intent than a hurricane, does that not terrify you? Does that not instill in you a fear that if anyone else found out they would feel so powerless against it that they would just give up? They’d give up and the world would end and it would be your fault. This was not the all powerful creature 11 year old you thought it was, the one he wanted to fight to prove his strength, this is pure entropy and chaos and randomness and destruction and no one else can know lest they stop fighting? Is the fighting fruitless, who even knows, but at least it fools you into thinking you’re making a difference.
194 notes · View notes
butnotbubblegum · 2 months
Text
using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, don’t read them if you’re having a bad day, they’ll probably not help in the slightest.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
6 notes · View notes
tigerplushh · 2 months
Text
am I starting to understand what the 5 makima fans in this universe see in her or do I need to go to bed
5 notes · View notes
thirstyvampyr · 2 months
Text
I let out something his mom said to me when she was pissed about him and boy did he ran with it, so tonight I think we’re gonna go sleep at his sister’s, help her with her sand shoveling for a couple of days and go home maybe??
4 notes · View notes
deus-ex-mona · 7 months
Text
youtube
man. this song reminds me of physiology class
7 notes · View notes
trash-bin-ary · 5 hours
Text
I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.
#… vaguely related other way too personal ramble#I need to try so hard to keep my friends for a long time. I want it so much#but I’ve never had close friends till now and once I went to a different period in my life the friends I had were gone#and Ive made really close friends now in college and one day I was talking with one of them on a walk home and mentioned still being friend#in 5 years. and they were like that’s not happening this friendgroup isn’t sticking together that long and they were right#at least for them specifically they were the one that came back worse and it’s a big group#there are most definitely different groups inside it and that makes me worry if once I finish college I’ll still chat with them at all#and oh hey tying this into another thought I had earlier… I’m planning on studying abroad next semester (that’s the application I’m procras#inating rn lol) and I’ll be like 8 hours in the future and I guess that’ll be the ultimate test on if I can really keep friends#a trial run before I graduate#and I won’t let this thinking of the future ruin my time now I know that doesn’t help but still.#well… actually summer sorta also is a trial run. and I still talked with them just less often and in a different way… it’s gonna be okay#this is a post i made#uh I am bad at tagging if things are vent posts or not#vent#oh I completely forgot to put the online part of the tag ramble! Ive made quite a few friends online and we talk for a while and I love the#and then it’s a every once in a while going hey I still care about you but I can’t hold a conversation for the life of me#and now there’s. you know who. who I care about so much and we say things I never imagined people saying about me#and I am so scared? (… sure) that that’s gonna go the same way. and I’m not sure reassurance on any of this will really help I think it’ll#just be I will only be less scared of the future as time passes and it’s proven to be wrong#mh hit the I want to keep this all inside and not let this out to not make other people think about it thing#… okay now I need to make a joke that is so tonal whiplash cause uhhh okay siffrin#… I need to go to sleep it’s late I’m sure that’s why all these feelings are being brought up… ’I’m fine’ as great role model siffrin says#… but it doesn’t feel real that people care about me. that I do actually have an impact. that I’m actually a note in someone’s story#I know it logically everyone I’ve ever known is part of me but it’s so hard to imagine that applies to me in others#okay I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep. I wanna say ignore this post but that’s not a good idea I don’t think#though just talking into the void does help a lot. I’m great at talking myself into believing that things are a okay if I just talk about i#… this wasn’t supposed to be a vent or be so long geez
3 notes · View notes
calciferstims · 11 months
Text
jesus fucking christ the vibes on the main blog are atrocious rn. can I hang out with you guys for a while 🥺🥺
17 notes · View notes
cuteniarose · 1 month
Text
Incorrect quotes generator shenanigans featuring the OCs @katkastrofa and I fucking SPEDRAN creating over the past two days, part 3, because I realised I had enough screenshotted to make another full post :)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
exopelagic · 1 month
Text
okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
2 notes · View notes