#and obviously most recently astarion

[camelpimp]

Im trying to think of who have been the true Tumblr Sexymen (may not necessarily be exclusive to tumblr) of the best few years

[blushouyo]

doing my first playthrough of patch 9 bg3 and im actually really surprised with how much more uh.. finished? polished it is? idk but they have clearly changed a lot since my last playthrough including like. dialogue.

[neckromantics]

Astarion loves to take baths with you.

It's one of his favorite ways to spend his downtime in general, honestly. Not only is the bath such a soothing place to be (you know once this man has the option, he's going to splurge on a vast collection of luxury soaps, oils, hair masks, and body scrubs- the list goes on.), but there's just something about it that makes him feel so normal? Mortal, almost.

If he lets himself soak just long enough, the heat from the water begins to nullify the vampiric chill that he's grown ever so used to. It's a pleasant warmth that works its way past pale skin- past tired muscles and aching sinew- and settles down deep into his very bones. For a few precious moments, he can convince himself that the eternal discomfort of undeath has made off for good this time.

And his hair always looks spectacular after wash day. It's a win-win scenario for him. So for his favorite person to be involved as well? Well, that just makes it all the more better.

-

This time, you're lounging on the floor nearby as he soaks- having stuck around after washing his hair for him as he oh-so-kindly requested of you. He's still a bit new at asking for small acts of kindness, so of course, you jumped at the chance to put your hands to good use. You were so careful not to catch your fingers on any snags as you worked a sweet-smelling soap through his wet curls, nails scrubbing away at his scalp even after it's all rinsed away just to hear him purr for you.

You're leaning against the bath, cheek cushioned against your forearm as it rests along the edge. The other swirls idly in the water- kept heated by clever use of prestidigitation (you'd recently picked up this cantrip for purposes such as this) and softened by the finest oils stolen gold could purchase. The curtains in your room are carefully drawn, and although your source of light comes from the multitude of candles scattered about, it's still enough to see the nice flush the heat brings to his skin. It's a little odd to see him so pinkened, and obviously, you can't help but stare no matter how hard you try not to.

It's the blood- your blood- that's pooling beneath the surface of his skin and giving him this radiance that many a man would covet.

Rose blooms a pretty bouquet on the smooth skin of his chest, up the length of his bared throat as he rests his head, and even reaches the tips of the pointy ears you so adore. Gods, even his knuckles are pinker when he reaches a hand out of the water to push his hair away from his forehead, and your gaze immediately follows the trail of soapy water as it glides down his wrist- drip-drops from his elbow and back into the bath.

Astarion looks so... peaceful like this.

Pale lashes rest upon warm cheeks as he reclines, face fallen soft, similar to how it does when he's deep in trance. A part of you wonders if this is how he might have looked back some two hundred years ago, before the affliction that was bestowed upon him by his old (now deceased, you celebrate mentally) master.

Eyes of ruby open just a crack, and you know that smug smile is coming before his lips so much as twitch.

"You know, my dear, most people consider staring to be rather rude." He purrs.

You're proud to say you don't miss a beat.

"Good thing you're nothing like most people then, hm?" Quick wit- a developing side effect from the many days spent traveling with the cheekiest rogue in all of Faerûn.

Quick as you may be– he is quicker. 

"Ah, right you are. Most people aren't nearly as beautiful as I am– one can hardly blame you for all of your slack-jawed gawping."

A half-huffed laugh is pulled out of you. Astarion loves to pretend he isn't just as delighted by your glossy-eyed admiring as he is amused.

And here you are again, suddenly distracted by the slightest bounce of silver curls when he tilts his head to watch your smile hit your eyes. His hair looks a bit longer when it's weighed down by bathwater and conditioning oils, almost to the point where some bits just barely brush his shoulders. You're so mesmerized that you have to touch him. The hand that's been playing in the water comes up to brush a few nearly translucent hairs away from where they've stuck to the curve of his neck, lingering afterward to carefully trace a finger down to his collarbone as you continue your oggle-fest.

Only just a moment longer, you tell yourself, and then you'll leave him be.

Yet, he doesn't let you pull away too far when you've finished. A deft hand comes up from the depths to capture yours the second you think about leaving him to his privacy, and you nearly jump at the unfamiliar temperature of its grasp.

He's warm.

Almost warmer than you, and it's honestly kind of jarring.

Astarion's still sporting that smile, although a bit kinder than before. If you weren't watching so closely, you'd miss how his eyes flash, uncharacteristically shy for just a moment before that heavy-lidded stare is set back in place. He brings your joined hands up to his mouth, petal-soft lips resting against the damp heel of your palm in a not-so-kiss.

They press for a long moment, and you can feel the appreciative hum he gives more than you can hear it. It occurs to you that he's probably just as dazed at your matching temperatures as you are.

"Get in here, darling." The command comes out as more of a question, really. You know in your heart that you have every right to refuse him if you really want to and that he wouldn't even consider holding it against you if you did.

But why in the hells would you ever do a thing as silly as that?

[myrkulitescourge]

i'm surprised i haven't seen any text posts yet about the Unsubtle Differences between astarion’s tiefling party/high approval forest scene and the one you get after the goblin party.

there’s something so terribly interesting about how the conversation afterward plays out depending on which variation you pursue.

like, most people have seen the tiefling party version by now. astarion basking in the sunlight the morning after, playing off most of what tav says with relative ease, even when they ask about his scars and he tells them about cazador. his cadence is smooth and composed, his smile almost friendly, even though you know, as the viewer, he’s playing a game of manipulation at this point. the only real crack in his demeanor is if tav notices that cazador’s “poem” was written in infernal, which, understandably, startles him.

but recently i watched the goblin party version of this same scene, and everything reads so differently. unlike at the tiefling party, it’s still the middle of the night when astarion tries to leave, thinking tav is asleep—almost immediately after the act, in fact. when tav does speak to him, he’s visibly nervous, halting and stammering in the middle of lines delivered unflinchingly in the other version of the scene. he gestures broadly and fidgets more while talking, his smile comes and goes. there’s even some of his distinctive high pitched, fake laughter sprinkled throughout the exchange, almost identical to later scenes where he's very, very obviously uncomfortable (like if raphael mocks him and magics off astarion's shirt to show the party his scars in act 2, or when confronting the gur children in their cell in act 3, etc etc).

siding with the goblins represents something deeply familiar to astarion, a level of cruelty he's more than familiar with and embraces likely because cruelty and duplicity, to him, go hand-in-hand with the power and freedom he craves so badly—but he won't stay the night with this tav, even if he approves of their actions. no, in this case, he'll keep to what's familiar and attempt to leave them in the forest under the cover of the very same darkness he resents having been cast into by cazador. when he gets caught, it sets him on edge, and everything he says becomes such a blatant lie to save face that tav would have to be completely oblivious not to see through him, or maybe just not care enough to.

but if tav saves the refugees? challenges his worldview and comes out victorious? oh, he'll complain of the poor rewards for his trouble at the party and whine about it being boring, but he decides to stay with tav through the night while they're asleep and on past dawn. he takes a moment to enjoy the morning sunlight, returned to his life after two centuries without. the same is true if you have high enough approval that he asks before the party, in which case, you've almost certainly hit his biggest approval gains: trusting him and supporting his safety. maybe he doesn't trip over his words when he speaks because, well, maybe this is someone he doesn't have to worry about. someone who's already more than proven themselves a foolish, heroic sort with a bleeding heart or otherwise demonstrated that they're already in his corner. in other words, not a threat—at least not to him.

does any of this make sense. i wanna study this guy under a microscope.

[webshooterrr9]

Take Care

Act Two Astarion x gn!reader

just fluff and angst if you squint, no smut

Sigh. "You don't have to do this, darling. I'm not some sort of child in need of coddling."

Despite his standoffish tone, Astarion makes no attempt to move away as you tend to the cuts on his arm. It had been a long day of adventuring, and your party most unfortunately ran into a horde of goblins on your way back to camp for the knight. Being stronger after a recent feed, Astarion fought most of them - giving him the most injuries.

You're being far too gentle. He watches closely in the dim lantern light as you wet the rag for cleaning. A part of him wishes you'd just hurt him instead. He knows how to deal with pain. He doesn't know how to deal with this.

Whatever this is, his mind tells him it needs to stop. Stop before he starts to care. He doesn't want to care about you. If he does, you'll be another thing for Cazador to use against him when the time comes.

He can't have that.

"Oh, shut up." you wave a dismissive hand before resuming your cleaning, gently wiping away the dirt and grime from his wounds. You sat comfortably in his lap as you worked. Another form of intimacy he was unsure about.

"I've received worse and lived, love. I'll be alright without your babying."

He would never admit it, but Astarion almost... enjoyed the way you so carefully tended to him. But it felt wrong. Why would you do this? It wasn't like his life was on the line, the goblins only inflicted minor injuries.

"I know you have, I've seen the poem that... he carved into your back. You showed me, remember?"

Astarion winces at the memory, and you feel sort of bad for bringing it up. But he just rolls his eyes, covering up the discomfort with a scoff.

That wretched devil. That evil, evil man.

"We're still travel companions, so I want to help you. Regardless of how minor it is." you continue, speaking slowly as you bandage up the cuts.

"Because I'm incapable?" there's a bite to his voice, one that he didn't mean to be there. But he couldn't help it. This was so... odd. "I managed to take care of myself just fine before you came along."

You look up at him, almost with a glare at his accusation. "I never said you were incapable, 'Starion. But you have to let others help you once in a while."

Gods, he hated it. He hated how caring you were, how sweetly you spoke to him, even when he was rude. How fondly you pictured him in your mind, even when he had done nothing but manipulate you so far.

How could you he so naive? He was obviously using you. And yet, you seemed to care about him, which pissed him off more.

He doesn't deserve someone as tender as you. As kind and caring.

Astarions grits his teeth as he speaks. "I don't have to let you do anything. I don't deserve that."

Why did he say that? How stupid of him so seem so vulnerable around you. And why does he want to curl up against you and let it all out? Why does he want you to wrap him up in your arms and whisper into his hair and tell him everything is going to be okay?

What is wrong with him?

You wrap up his cut tightly, giving him a glare. "You're wrong." you replied, short and direct. Your stare made it clear that this wasn't up for debate.

"You deserve just as much as everyone else. If not more, given what you've been through."

Astarion glares right back. If there was one thing he could do, it was argue. "You know nothing about me. I barely even told you half of it."

You don't know why he has to be so stubborn about this. Maybe it's his nature. Or maybe he's just too much of a coward to admit that he's actually starting to develop feelings for you. Astarion doesn't know which.

"I'm objectively the worst person on this team. You should be helping the others. Lae'zel got all scratched up too, you know."

"They've got each other." you argue back, just as stubborn as the elf. "But you, you've closed yourself off from everyone. Shut them out."

"If I don't take care of you, no one will. The Hells know that you wouldn't take care of yourself, either. You're too self-loathing for that."

When the hell did you become so perceptive? How in the world did you come to that conclusion? He wasn't self hating, he was just telling the truth. He was awful, evil. He knew it to be true.

...

Shit. Maybe you were right.

"Fine. Maybe your words have some truth in them." he sighs, not daring to look you in the eyes as he admits it. "You're right. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Damn it. Now he wants to hug you. The feeling he's been trying to avoid the entire time is bubbling up, threatening to engulf him.

Does it make him weak to want to be coddled and comforted by you? Would it make him just as pathetic as he was under Cazador's thumb? Would allowing himself this pampering, this affection, be nothing more than something to regret?

"I'm always right." you scoff. "You'd have picked up on that by now if you weren't so aloof."

You slide off of his lap once you're done bandaging, giving him some space. But you don't leave his tent.

You stay there, sitting in front of him, as a silent show of solidarity. "I'm not going anywhere. No matter how much you try to push me away."

The urge to pull you close and never let you go is overwhelming him. Astarion's not sure if he can trust himself to resist it.

"Why are you doing this?" he asks quietly, lowering his head a bit shamefully. "Why are you so insistent on helping me? I'm not worth it."

"Because you are worth it. And I won't stop until you believe it."

"I will not allow you to fall into tragedy when you can be so much more than that. I've seen your potential - on the battlefield and in camp. I refuse to let you waste your life in solitude."

Astarion wants to believe you. Desperately.

The evidence is staring him right in the face: the way that you care for him, how he feels secure in your presence.

But if he believes you, he can't hide any longer. He can't seek shelter behind the walls he's carefully erected within himself. And he can't shield himself from the vulnerability of admitting that he needs you. So instead he just says:

"Shut up."

You sigh. No matter how much you try to break him down, he stays persistent. "Fine."

"I'll stop talking, but you'd be a fool if you think I'm leaving."

He scoffs. "So what, you're just going to sit there and watch me all night?"

"If that's all you'll allow me, yes."

Allow. Such a sacred, unheard word to him.

Astarion didn't even have a response to that. In the end, he didn't have enough energy to make a snarky counter. And before he can form a coherent sentence and protest, his body makes a decision for him.

The elf slumps forward and places his head in your lap, curling up in a way that resembles a kitten. A stray seeking shelter.

Despite his efforts of stubborness, he closes his eyes and lets his body go slack.

He wants this.

You're relieved. For a moment, you sit still, not wanting to scare him away with any sudden movements. He needed this peace, and you wouldn't dare take it from him.

Slowly, you start to rake your fingers through his curls. Slowly, gently. Like a mother comforting her child.

He needs it. More than ever.

When you begin to run your fingers through his hair, it's like all his defenses dissolve away. Astarion lets out a quiet hum of contentment and presses his head further into your warmth, making himself as comfortable as possible in this precious moment.

Time seems to slow down as you sit there. There's no need for words. After so long of being taken and abused by his master, Astarion finds himself oddly calm. Safe.

It's strange to feel this comfortable. Even now he should have to urge to try and escape your touch, but he's not feeling those impulses.

He takes a deep breath and relaxes into your touch. The tension and discomfort that seemed to define his existence is melting away. For the first time in centuries, he feels he's where he belongs.

As you continue to pet his hair, you hear a quiet whisper come from your companion.

"Thank you."

[feyascorner]

Another hear me out--Astarion definitely does Tav/Reader's nails when they're resting at camp.

He complained about how he doesn't want to ruin his nails digging through the rock to save Nere, which makes me think his own are probably painted and very well taken care of.

So imagine his horror when he sees the state of your nails after you're done digging through dirt mounds and cracked walls in hopes of some half-empty chest. He probably fake gags if he's feeling extra dramatic, even if it isn't truly that bad, just because.

He's definitely complaining about how the work isn't worth the payout for you to be digging through the ground like this while he has your hands in his lap. The first time he paints your nails, he subconsciously just uses whatever color he used himself most recently, and then gets embarrassed later on when your companions comment on how you're matching. He won't show it, though, obviously (he's a mess).

He asks what color you want after that, but you usually pick whatever he's wearing anyway.

It becomes a routine thing to do between the two of you, where every few days, when you're sitting idly in his tent, he just glares at your hands, yanks out the polish from his pocket, and you just accept your nails are getting a makeover. And even if he complains dramatically about how you don't take care of your "pretty hands," he silently prays you to continue this behavior so he'll have an excuse to keep painting your nails.

Sometimes, your nails are fine, and he still insists just because he wants to hold your hand for 30 minutes straight. You're certainly not complaining.

He's usually concentrated on perfecting his brush strokes, so he doesn't say much save for the occasional roll of his eyes while you're chatting away about your day. He nods, and he also hums approvingly or lets out a sound of disgust to tell you that he's still listening.

And once he's done painting your nails, he lifts your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. Because he's a sap like that.

[ishaslife]

Astarion has been breaking my poor heart.

This post will contain spoilers for the game and Astarion's romance/backstory. Before anyone comes at me, I want to say that you are the main character, you are supposed to change the fates and behaviours of your characters, especially if you are romancing them. It's a video game, that's kind of the point.

This post is extremely long and I apologise.

This analysis is based off my playthrough.

(*) means check notes at the bottom of the post.

I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him during EA and I thought he was funny, charming, flirty with a dark past and all that was just a means to cover his trauma but since the full game has come out and we've gotten to know more of him, it truly breaks my heart to see and know what he has been through. My sister and I were watching his reactions to be being rejected, being told that Tav only wants sex and forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, it is truly heart-wrenching.

Many people expected Astarion to be this "I am so sexual and my romance will mostly be sex, also I will betray you the first chance I get." and it couldn't be further from the truth. Astarion is extremely loyal, and yes he has that air of flambouncy to him, will often make japes and say evil things but most of the time, it is just a facade. It's his shield in a way, he has been treated with utter cruelty for two hundred years of his life and now that he finally has some control over himself, he doesn't wish to be hurt again.

I don't think Astarion is ever completely evil, even in the beginning. He just wants to have fun and enjoy life after so many years of slavery. He likes it when you are snarky, say mean shit to people for fun but, he doesn't like to see innocents get hurt, and he doesn't support fighting for people who don't fight for themselves. Yes, he will support some of your evil decisions but they will lead to a bad ending, for you and your characters. It'll make Astarion wallow more in his greed and he'll lose the little humanity he has left. He doesn't really have a clear sense of direction in the beginning of the game as he's just found freedom and obviously wants to live life to the fullest, being evil comes naturally to him, it's instinct as its what he's been doing for two centuries.

This is my assumption since we don't know his actual age but since he's an elf who was well-respected in society, had a pretty prestigious job and was rich enough to be corrupt. I'd assume he was at least 70-100 years old before he was turned into a spawn. (EDIT - in a recent post by @deluxetrashqueen I saw the translation of the dates of birth and death on his tombstone:

"Astarion Ancunin

229-268 DR" to which he adds, "458DR - "

which shows that he was only 39 at the time of his death, which explains his emotional immaturity for an elf.) My point being, I believe he has been a spawn for longer than he's ever been a regular person. He has spent the longer part of his life doing evil things for an evil man, that was what his life was on a daily basis with Cazador. And his former work experience probably helped, he likely learnt pretty quick how much he took for granted as a living person and the harshness of his master, peers and people he seduced made him harsh and unforgiving in return.

Once you start getting close to him, you start to learn that he is only mean to people because of how life has treated him. In his romance, he says "no one ever looked out for me, no one ever said a kind word to me. You're the only one, no one is like that." Astarion starts to see, because of you that there is kindness in the world, and he finds kindness in you. Especially after his quest, as much as he'd hate to admit it, he also sees friends in your other companions as they do in him. By the end of Act 2, he starts to get more soft towards you and the decisions you make, often even disapproving of evil decisions. People often tend to forget that a lot of Astarion's evil personality is a front, it is not who he truly is.

These points will be better explained individually so I will talk about some themes.

Power: power plays a big part in his entire storyline. In the beginning, he wants to harness the powers of the tadpole to become powerful and at first, you think that it's simply because he's an evil character and he wants power for the sake of having it. Then later, he wishes to take over the power of the ascendant but mostly only to spite Cazador and take something important from him, not fully realising the true power of the rite.

As he slowly starts opening up to you, he tells you "the mind flayers tore me from that place" and you realise that its the tadpole that let's him walk in the sun, do things a vampire or spawn would never be able to, you learn that he hates being a vampire because he can't even remember what he looks like. He seeks power outside because he has had no power over himself for about two centuries, he thinks that having this power will fulfill his needs but it won't, we know it won't because in truth he only needs to reclaim his autonomy, physical and mental. Of course Astarion would never truly admit to this for a long while, even when he's romanced. I personally really love his good romance arc where he doesn't have sex with you, not because he dislikes you or doesn't want you but because, as he says "any kind of intimacy was something I performed to lure people back for him. While I know things between us are different... being with someone still feels tainted. It brings up all those feelings of disgust and loathing." He has spent 200 years or so bowing to Cazador's whims, done things to people he didn't want to do and I assume since it's heavily hinted at, were very sexual in nature. In a relationship, he simply wants to be seen as a person and I think that's really sad because that's how low the bar is for him.

In the ending of his quest, you can persuade him and tell him that going forth with the ritual won't set him free even if he thinks it will and I agree. If he's a slave to Cazador now, later he'd be a slave to power and greed. Just look at Cazador, despite being one of the most powerful beings in existence, he still wanted more power. That kind of greed and hunger never ends and Astarion would lose himself and who he has become while he was with us. Yes, it makes him walk in the sun again and do things a regular vampire can't but at what cost? 7,000 lives and his humanity. He would never be able to enjoy this "freedom" because he'll only strive to seek more power. In his ascendant ending, he becomes everything he's ever hated about Cazador, the cycle repeats itself, from Vellioth to Cazador and from Cazador to Astarion. And it will never end. Astarion even refuses to turn you into a vampire and wishes to keep you only as a spawn. With an insight check, you can learn that he thinks you're degrading yourself and he doesn't care. He now sees you as something to own, something to possess, not love. All his good qualities, wants and needs get twisted. Astarion truly only needs to feel like a person again but he doesn't fully realise this until you show it to him, through good deeds and actions, through simple acts of kindness. As he says in his "good" ending "I've been dead in the ground enough. It's time to try living again. With all that life has to offer."

Safety: Astarion wants to feel safe. He is so scared of being found by Cazador, he knows he's looking for him and the only thing giving him some form of safety from Cazador is the tadpole so of course he wants to harness its powers that is until he finds out it'll turn him into another kind of monster, a mind flayer. He doesn't wish to lose himself and his freedom again hence is vehemently against taking on the tadpole's powers but he doesn't stop you because that is of course, your decision to make. He says "if such power would please you, darling, I won't stop you. But do be careful, I want you to remain you." Now the only thing left that can properly give him his freedom is Cazador's death and he wants to kill him himself which I think is perfectly acceptable, Cazador deserves to die and if it is by Astarion's hands, all the better. But, in his romance, he makes it clear that he's doing it for safety, and he tells himself that he wants to take the power of the rite for safety as well because in truth, he is terrified of being powerless again. He does want revenge yes, but he also wants to keep you and himself safe from Cazador, even in the dungeon, if you run an insight check, the narrator tells you that he is losing his mind because of the power that's on offer and the smell of blood in the air. It's almost as if to say "he's losing his mind, please stop him before he forgets who he is." Astarion NEEDS your guidance*, eventually he even thanks you for 'saving him from himself.' In his good ending, he sees that in taking the power, he would be no better than Cazador and would become everything he's ever hated about him, and inflict on others what his former master inflicted on him, starting with you. His ascendant ending is honestly a very sad ending for his character, all that growth, change and development you bring to him throughout your journey just gone down the drain as he becomes an unfeeling, evil, narcissistic arsehole who only craves for more power. In his good ending, he will be safe, with you and with the friends he has made along the way. He is proud of himself and so is everyone else, it offers him a kind of friendship that's afforded to very few in the D&D world, especially a vampire/spawn whose very existence is hated. It is a bond based on trust, loyalty and to a degree, even love instead of fear like in the ascendant ending.

Abandonment and Fear: Astarion is driven by fear but he also knows facing Cazador is inevitable and something he needs to face rather than avoid. Even if he isn't outright seeking it (but he does seek it) I think he is braver than he likes to think and he definitely has some anti-hero traits. He likes the tadpole because it helped him get away from Cazador's authority and he enjoys bending others to his will since it makes him feel more powerful compared to how he's felt the past two centuries. But if you choose to not do the same, he doesn't really care. He doesn't except it of you nor is he disappointed (since he neither approves or disapproves. He only disapproves helping people who didn't ask or didn't want to be helped) he only gives a snarky comment or two about what he would've done instead and follows you anyway. He realises you're a good person. If you indulge too much however, I would argue that he agrees simply because he doesn't want you to turn against him. Perhaps he believes that you can turn on him and kill him as easily as you killed the tieflings or other innocents. He probably thinks it's easier to turn a good person evil than an evil person, good (tbh he wouldn't be entirely wrong.) And making bad choices does negatively affect his character of course but I just thought I'd put that out there as I think it's very likely for him to do so. He is definitely extremely paranoid, he hardly ever says how he truly feels out loud but when you break up with him (it's so heartbreaking omg) he says "I was beginning to think someone truly wanted me. I shouldn't have deluded myself." and "From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?" As heartbreaking as it is, the latter line shows how terrified he was of being abandoned or only be used for his body, he kept obessesively worrying that Tav would leave him after he bore his heart out to them. There's another bit of dialogue in Act 1 where he is trying his lines with you to get you to sleep with him a second time and you can say no which he is fine with but if you outright reject him there, meaning "I never want to see you like that again" he gets extremely sad: "Well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. [slight chuckle] In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back 10,000 times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, I'll remember. [long pause] Have a fine evening... dear." Mind you, this is after you've only slept with him once. His dialogue makes it seem like he was already catching feelings for you, and not realising that himself until this happens. Seeing this made me realise that you're the first person he's slept with of his own volition, even if it was to seduce you. For the longest time, I think Astarion doesn't even want to believe you'll like him as something more than someone to sleep with, he hopes you might as his rejection line says so but astarion is nothing if not careful and well, paranoid.

That's why he's so shocked when you choose to not let him bite Araj at Moonrise even if it gave you something powerful in return. He sees that you chose his comfort over a genuinely useful commodity. Biting people or using his vampire, well, anything makes him extremely uncomfortable since it reminds him of things he needed to do for Cazador. If he bites her, it makes him feel like being a slave again, but bending to your will and wishes instead of his former master's. He realises he doesn't know how to say no. Which is another thing he says if you wish to pursue only a sexual relationship with him. He feels played.

Freedom: this is probably the main theme to his character arc. He wants to be free, not only from his master but also free to make right decisions and make decisions for himself, something he hasn't been able to do for years. This is why respecting his decision to not sleep with you is important to him, he doesn't feel comfortable being physically close to someone in a sexual way as it makes him doubt the person's true intentions and feelings and of course, makes him feel loathsome and disgusted with himself. He needs that time where you just connect as people to really see that you are in fact genuine and he wouldn't be hurt if he trusted you or gave you his heart. Towards the end of the game, he is still quite ruthless, but mostly only towards people who do wrong and are criminals. Astarion has a very strong set of ideals, he believes that people who do wrong deserve to die no matter the crime. I don't think this is entirely true, every crime deserves a different punishment but most criminals, those who do severe wrong and still get away with it, do deserve to die but this is just my opinion of course. He is ruthless towards bad people because that's how people have been to him, at least Cazador and I wouldn't be surprised if he was treated badly during his sexual encounters with strangers while working for him.

Why I think the Ascendant ending is a tragic ending for Astarion's character and for you.

I won't lie, there are some aspects of ascended Astarion that are pretty hot and I'm a sucker for (pun absolutely intended) powerful, gothic vampires but this ending comes at the cost of way too much. One simply being: Astarion isn't Astarion anymore. All his snarkiness, playful nature and strange innocence is gone. In his ascendant ending, that is, when he takes the power of the Rite of Ascension for himself by carving the same rune on Cazador's back that's on his own, Astarion loses himself. In D&D lore, full vampires are unfeeling, ruthless and have all their good traits twisted into something more malignant and evil. If Astarion loved you, that love turns into possession, if he cared for you, it turns into obsession. He doesn't truly care anymore... as a vampire, he is manipulating you and telling you things you want to hear instead of what he's actually feeling. He never truly got that moment of catharsis by killing Cazador as he does in his spawn ending. That simple bliss of killing the man that enslaved him and worse all these years; he never gets to experience that because he ends up using Cazador for the same power Cazador killed Vellioth for in the past, albeit worse. It's a never-ending cycle. And if he turns you into his spawn, you will go through the same fate Astarion went through and probably turn on him the same way he turned on Cazador. He has absolutely no sympathy for you or for anyone that is not him, in fact he feels almost disgusted by you because he thinks you're degrading yourself in front of him. There is a conversation between him and if you refuse to become his spawn, and I think it sums up his character perfectly as a vampire, it goes like this:

(choosing different options will have different dialogues but they more or less lead to him saying the same thing.)

ASTARION: Just so you know, I have everything I've ever wanted. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the Crimson Palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for my children.

TAV: But the Palace halls will be lonely.

ASTARION: You'll be lonelier than I. Very soon I will discover how to call my legions of wolves, become a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs. [laughs] Everything vampires do best.

You could have, too. [sniggers] What a waste.

TAV: You don't really have anything at all.

ASTARION: I can take anything I want. I should've made you a spawn just to teach you that.

And there we have it, that last bit of dialogue shows how Astarion is now everything he hated about his own master. He is Cazador's literal and spiritual successor, he thinks you need to be punished for rejecting him. He doesn't feel for you anymore, at least not in a human way. He has become someone else entirely, for the worst. His drive for taking the power of the rite was to be able to walk in the sun again but as a full vampire, he wants to "dominate it (the world) until the sun melts and give ourselves over to the night."

Astarion NEEDS change, he needs to see that the world can be a kinder place than the one he's lived in this whole time. Just a bit of care and love with him goes a long way. In his spawn ending, he comes to realise that you gave him his life back even if it was as a spawn because that is true freedom. He is free from his master, and greed & power which was in the disguise of safety. He may never be able to walk in the sun, but he is free to make his own decisions that are driven by his choices. One of them being; wanting and loving you, living a full life with you, whatever that may entail.

If you went into the game thinking that Astarion will betray you no matter what then giving him the ascendant ending brings your fears to life. Astarion doesn't learn anything, by making him a full vampire, you basically tell him that he can only be powerful and worth something if he has super vampire powers, and in turn, you lose everything too. Astarion may have gained unparralled strength but now he has no need of you, you gave him everything he wanted and nothing he needed so now he can do whatever he wants with you because you are lesser than him, literally, he is much stronger than you are and his power will only grow as he discovers more of it. He tries to manipulate you into turning you into a spawn. A dialogue being:

TAV: After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

ASTARION: Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want?

Which just shows you how he's only saying "I love you" because that's what you want to hear, so you agree to becoming his spawn. He doesn't mean it, it doesn't really have any feeling behind it whatsoever. And if he turns you into a spawn, you have basically lost everything. Because he is obsessive over you, he'll never let you go and since now he is properly evil, he likely won't turn you into a vampire either, even if he says he will.

This is just my take on the ending though, I think we can all agree the ascendant ending is the evil ending for his character, even if it is an ending you prefer. I'm not trying to hate on anyone who does like this ending, only stating that I think it is meant to be evil and I personally don't like it.

CONCLUSION

Once you get to truly know Astarion, he's a pretty decent guy. I can't speak much for people who didn't romance him, I'm not entirely sure how his non-romance route plays out. The good conclusion of his quest is so wholesome, where he says he feels "truly, honestly free" and tells you "you saved me from myself. This is a gift, you know, thank you. I won't forget it." getting full circle to the first time you let him bite you (the only time in my case.) It shows so much character development and pure joy in the way he thanks you (it doesn't need to be said but props to Neil Newbon for bringing the character to life.) He will always be a spawn and yet, he feels like "anything and everything is possible" because of you and the choices you made with him, you believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, you showed him that he is enough just the way he is and he doesn't need to become a full vampire to be strong and powerful. Astarion comes out of his finale, a much more positive person, who actually cares even if he won't show it and the best part is, he always keeps that tiny streak of evil and mischief within him. He hasn't lost sight of himself, he's just less spiteful now and feels free to actually enjoy life rather than constantly being scared of what might happen to him. He finds trust and happiness in you and it makes him happy that you find the same within him. You are his home and he hopes he is yours.

I understand that my analysis may not be perfect and my interpretation of the character may be different from someone else's but that's fine, he is a video game character that can be played so many ways and people can go around it however they like, interpret his character however they wish. This is just what I think.

NOTES

'Astarion needs your guidance.' - no, this is not gaslight-y. Astarion is a deeply troubled character and clearly finds it hard to differentiate between right and wrong. He often asks for your input and what you think by Act 2 which isn't a bad thing, he's asking for help and I think that shows how far he's come. In the final scene of his quest, he is overcome by the promise of power and the safety it would've provided which would've consumed him as it did Cazador, Astarion admits to this himself too later on once he can think clearly and is in a more positive mindset. There is nothing wrong with guiding your partner towards something that will eventually be better for their growth as a person in the long run.

[astarionconsort]

Ascendant Astarion was driven by fear, but can you really blame him?

Okay so I just read the newest interview that mentioned Astarion reasoning behind his ascension was driven by fear and I thought it made sense?

Tho I don't believe that fear was the only force behind the reason of his decision to ascend, there's a longing to be alive again to enjoy everything that the world has to offer, the need for certainty and also to protect his loved ones (when he has a love interest)

But let's talk about this fear part, there are people (even the companions) who expected that 'he should have known better' or 'shouldnt even think about ascension' and sees this fear in the recent interview as something that is so horrid but here's the thing.

"You are right to be afraid." I mean DUH obviously it makes sense. Astarion lives in a very dangerous world where countless undead risen from their graves thanks to necromancer toying with life and death, there are bandits everywhere, monsters, evil gods who never failed to make life even more miserable than ever and even the supposedly good aligned god can be so awful at times, etc etc.

The party that he traveled with and himself were infected with worms that would eat their brain and transformed them into a living husk, the absolute cult and the dead three were on their tail, angry devils, Cazador wanted him back and not to mention the Githyanki and their lich queen wanted them dead as well for what happened with the prism

Even during act 3 where they were supposedly close to victory. The victory was not set in stone yet, nothing is certain and something could have gone wrong. They could have died or even worse!

Not to mention he's a man who was tormented for 200 hundred years. He was stripped of everything that he had and even his own reflection, reduced to catched rats to sustain himself.

Can you really blame him for wanting to seek a way out from Cazador's torment, the hunger for blood and the indignity that he suffered for so long?

Also it would be harder to convince him to not ascend if Tav or Durge romanced him. Because now he's not just afraid for his own safety and his future but also his lover. The only person whom he ever love and genuinely love him back in 200 years (also not ending up as a victim for Cazador)

Most people would have killed him when they found that he's a vampire and infected with an Illithid parasite. Most people would have abandoned him

Tav/Durge was the only light in his life after years of living in darkness and torment, you can't really blame him for wanting to keep this light from being snuffed out by untimely death

And if that means sacrificed 7000 souls that he already damned anyway (undead like vampire wouldn't be accepted by good aligned gods in the after life, not sure about evil gods but most deities most won't accept them) so be it

I don't see this fear behind his decision as something that is objectively awful? I mean it is a natural respond anyone would have if they were in his shoes

Then you might ask "If Astarion loves Tav or Durge that much why he insisted on turning them into a vampire? And break up if they refused?"

Because he was overwhelmed by his beating heart/ his renewed sense, the high from his power and he's also insecure. At that point in act 3 he expected Tav and Durge to stand by his side no matter what

Because they were the only person who didn't kill the parasite infested vampire spawn at the beach, who loves him anyway despite the face he was a man with nothing to his name, who were willing to sacrifice 7000 souls and killed the Gur for him!

Ascended Astarion didn't want THAT special person to be taken by early death or a fate worse than death

He needed the reassurance that his love would be safe and no gods nor fate will take them away

If they refused to be an immortal vampire then they were as good as sealed their fate to death. Astarion didn't want to face that heartbreak

The thing that I don't agree with the interview is that the interpretation that ascension sent him to a horrible place? It was kinda vague? Like worse place when? During or after the ascension? Because this cannot apply after the ascension since I have taken so many screenshot and recording of ascendant astarion and I didn't see him feeling miserable about his fate. He was happy that the hunger gone and he could see his reflection again

Post final battle? The epilogue? After the epilogue party? This cannot be applied to all people, all route, all Tav/Durge and Astarion in general because there's variations. I mean you might see ascended Astarion as a bit lonely because he doesn't end up with anyone but in my Tav's universe he has a consort who stay by his side and their relationship is still going strong because my Tav is aligned with him

[thatfreshi]

"Undeserving"

Hi! This was an expedited request by @mosshugs who asked that I go more into my headcanon of Astarion having ED behaviors. I want to preface this by saying I have limited experience with ED behaviors, and most of my experience and knowledge is from people I know with eating disorders, and I apologize if something I've written here doesn't feel correct for the experience.

So, BIG TW for eating disorder talk on this one.

If you'd like to have an expedited request, please check out the pinned post on my blog! (The masterlist can now be found under the tag freshimasterlist.)

When it comes to survival, it is difficult to foster nurturement, to find the strength to nourish even the smallest part of yourself. It is especially difficult for those who never had a nurturer, those who grew up without the protection of a mama bear, those who were ripped away from safety and forced into survival primarily, to find the strength to care, even if it's for themselves. While it seems like common sense, some part of you couldn’t ever fully understand the phenomena of nourishment and survival. That is, until you were faced with the conundrum head-on.

Astarion had somewhat perfected survival at this point, despite the fact that it was mostly not his choice. A more proper word choice might be endurance, the ability to persevere through torture despite your undying presence. Even now, he had endured all the way to the city, all the way to the legendary ‘Baldur’s Gate’ that you had been fighting towards for weeks. The two of you understood each other quickly, smoothly, reading each other like tea leaves. But, just like premonitions, not all of the details unfold as quickly as others. 

Your vampiric lover had been feeding on you almost every evening since you found out about his little ‘secret,’ that he didn’t quite hide as well as he thought he did. Of course, it started when you were merely aquaintances, continued on when you were friends, and then turned into something more. Now, feeding on you is a romantic ritual of sorts, a sign of trust, a moment of recluse and safety. Safety is a word that Astarion is unfamiliar with, the feeling at least. But those moments he has drank from you, he has finally started to understand what exactly it means to be safe. That is, until he suddenly stopped. 

You were waiting to face Cazador, a being who had now become one of multiple banes of your existence. Sadly, things on a wild adventure don’t necessarily schedule themselves neatly, which was making both you and Astarion jittery, anxious.

“We should rest soon you know. Plenty more villains to get around to.”

He isn’t fully listening, something you’re quite used to dealing with. 

“I know.”

He’s more exhausted these days, moreso than usual. Everyone is tired obviously, but you’re more tuned into his energy than the others.

“Have you fed recently? It’s been a while since you’ve asked me.”

“Of course. How many people have I killed just today? Plenty of blood has been going around.”

He stands in the opening of the tent, staring off into nothing while you sit on the ground.

“You and I both know you don’t stop for long enough to get enough out of any of those fools.”

“And you take me for a liar?”

Astarion’s tongue is sharp, and he finally turns to face you.

“I take you for a liar, but not usually a liar to me. Now, come, drink some.”

You’ve had plenty of banters like this, where he has been difficult with you, but the night air doesn’t sit peacefully like on those nights. He’s not staring at nothing, but at the past, the future. He doesn’t bend to your whim. 

“Really, my darling Tav, I am alright. Perhaps you should go to bed without me, I might be up for a while.”

Distant. He’s only distant when something is truly bothering him, just like he was in the beginning, just like he was when you met him on the beach.

“Astarion, why don’t you want to feed on me?”

Out of the myriad of things he doesn’t like, he doesn’t like direct confrontation from you. When it comes to safety, survival, nourishment, he likes to be elusive. He likes to hide from you, because sometimes you let him. He wasn’t allowed to hide before, when he was still living at the palace. Sometimes though, you can’t let him hide.

“Who said I don’t want to feed on you? Why, your blood is delightful! Delectable even.”

And there he goes, that slight seduction in his tone, a distraction.

“Then why haven’t you drank from me in days? Over a week at this point?”

Now comes the moment when he realizes there is no way out, that you’re onto him, that he can’t dance around it with his words any longer. He makes his way to be next to you.

“I… I’m not really sure Tav.”

A very rare occurrence, where Astarion sounds entirely clueless.

“What do you mean?”

“I, I mean I do want to. I’ve told you so many times before how much I delight at our feedings, I just-”

You give him a moment.

“I feel, wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Wrong. Like it wouldn’t be right to feed from you.”

“Aster, I’ve told you how many times that I’m okay with you feeding on me. It’s even enjoyable at times! And besides, it’s good for you, and it strengthens our bond-”

“I don’t think any of that is what this is. And I do hear you, but this… this is different. Maybe it’s because we’re so close to confronting, him.”

Both of your faces change slightly at the thought of Cazador.

“Are you nervous? Because that seems entirely natural.”

“Well, yes. Of course I’m nervous, not that I would tell anyone else that. I think this though, is perhaps a feeling of being undeserving of something.”

“Like what?”

“Freedom, love, more than rats. I have wanted to feed on you numerous times, but I find myself being held back by this feeling of being… undeserving.”

“My dear, you are entirely deserving of feeding, especially on me.”

You move to comfort him, a light touching arm.

“I suppose it doesn’t feel that way right now. You know what I was forced to drink from before: flies, rats, other vermin. And of course, when you first offered for me to feed from you, I was so incredibly taken away by a luxury I was never given. Now though, I simply wonder if I should’ve ever had that luxury at all, or if I should have that luxury even now.”

“You are deserving though.”

“I don’t think that will fix it my love. I don’t know if anything that you say can fix this.”

One of the hardest truths of love, that your words cannot always fix their wounds. That sometimes, there are things you will never be able to heal by yourself. 

“Then… how do we fix it? How do we make you feel deserving of feeding?”

He fumbles with his hands.

“Time? Patience? I don’t honestly know darling.”

You move a hand over to his wandering ones, hoping to ground him a little.

“Maybe, now that I know, we could at least try? Even just a little?”

There’s a hint of optimism in his demeanor, something you’ve seen more of over time.

“Alright then, we can try. But that’s all I can promise, an attempt.”

And so, he moves to prepare as you lie down, a much easier way to get your life’s essence taken. It’s a little more tense than usual, which makes sense following a conversation like that. There’s a moment where his teeth pierce your skin, and a piece of time where he does feed, and then there’s a sharp pull away. He seems almost nauseous when you sit back up. You cover the rip he just made on your neck with a nearby piece of cloth.

“I’m sorry, I just… I can’t tonight. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you tried. That’s all I said right, that we should try?”

You move back over to him and wipe at a tear, one made from an apology he never should’ve had to give. 

“Right. And maybe we can try again tomorrow?”

“Of course my love, of course.”

When the two of you lie down finally, there isn’t much said for the rest of the evening. You’ll never quite know exactly what he felt in that moment, what tasting your blood was like, how it made him ill and scared. One thing you do know is that you’ll be there again the next evening, and the evenings later, even if it takes a lifetime to repair that relationship with feeding from you. And maybe eventually, there won’t be that feeling of being undeserving anymore. Maybe one day, there will be nourishment instead of survival, but for now, you can try and make survival as nurturing as you can.

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

"I'm a vampire" "well...obviously"

A little one shot about how that reveal went in my headcannon

Ft: Astarion and my durge Tomie. Some hurt/comfort :3

It has been about a tenday of this strange adventure. Tomie has recruited quite the unusual band of companions. The most odd of which is Astarion. He never sleeps, and on multiple occasions now, Tomie has seen him stumble into the forest. He doesn't return until morning. They have become fast friends since he first pulled his dagger out on her. But he never allowed her to close the space between them. He always keeps his distance. She figures he just likes his space.

But recently she has found him staring almost, was it hungrily? At her when she does certain things like put her hair up out of her face or brush it all to one side. She has her suspicions but doesn't want to pry. She lets it go for now, hoping one day he will trust her enough to tell her his secret.

One night at camp, Tomie was washing her armour, dressed in only her undergarments that wetly clung to her skin. The concept of privacy is lost when you're travelling with a bunch of strangers who can all hear each others thoughts. She doesn't mind, they have all seen each other naked at this point. When you have to take turns bathing in the river and someone has to keep watch, you get used to it pretty quickly.

Tomie brushes all her dark silken tresses to one side as she works, exposing the flesh on her neck. Her tail swishing from side to side. She suddenly feels cold eyes staring at her. She looks behind her to find Astarion almost hunched over, eyes dark.

"Asty?" Tomie calls out.

As quickly as she looks over, Astarion composes himself and approaches her.

"Hello darling, what are you doing out here, all exposed?" Astarion purrs. His voice coated with something that sounds almost like malice.

"Washing...My clothes?" Tomie says, confused.

"Wearing barely anything? Quite the little temptress you are" Astarion flirts.

"Oh please, I'm just doing chores. My nightclothes are right over there, I just didn't want them getting wet". Tomie says. She sensed his flirtation feels a bit desperate. But the feeling subsides.

He looks almost disappointed that she didn't flirt back. "Right...Well I'm off, I need to...Take a walk. Clear my head."

"Oh! A walk? Can I come with you?" Tomie jumps up to grab her night clothes and quickly puts them on before Astarion can protest."

"Eager to spend some time with me are you?"

"I just- I don't know you very well. But I want to. We don't have to be strangers. I don't bite I promise!" Tomie says with a big smile. Her pointed fangs poking out from her pretty lips. Astarion laughs to himself at the irony.

"Well...*sigh* alright. But you may not enjoy this kind of walk".

They disappear into the forest together and eventually approach a small clearing.

"Sooo...When do you plan on telling me that you're a vampire?" Tomie says coyly.

"Ha! So you knew?"

"You're not exactly the best at hiding it buddy. But I wanted to respect your privacy." Tomie smiles.

"You're...Sweet". Astarion huffs and stumbles a bit until he eventually falls to his kees, weakened. Tomie immediately joins him on the soft forest floor, trying to prop him up and check if he's okay.

"Astarion! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine I just, haven't had the best luck hunting recently. I've never had to do it before and I- well, it's been a while since i've last had a meal"

Tomie cocks her head and looks over him with concern. His skin is ice cold, his eyes dark. She had never been close enough to see his eyes before. They were a deep crimson, the dark circles under his eyes looked tired and worn. His pallid skin had an almost pearlescent quality to it. She brushes some of his hair out of his face and rests her hand on his cheek. It takes everything in Astarions power not to melt into her warm touch. It's too soon, he thought. There's no way this strange little tiefling had bewitched him already. But sometimes he looks at her and feels a longing he has never felt before. He just assumed it was hunger but maybe it's something else. No matter, he's too tired to think about that right now. He stares into Tomies eyes. Cat-like pupils and raging blood red irises that glow in the dim light. Dangerous and volitile, but also gentle.

"You know all you ever had to do was ask?" Tomie says with a sweet smile.

"At best I feared you'd say no, more likely you'd ram a stake through my ribs. I needed you to trust me" Astarion says, out of breath.

"I do, now get over here and have some blood before you pass out" Tomie says. She lies down on her back and moves her hair out of the way so Astarion can easily access the flesh on her neck.

"You're sure?" Astarion says.

"Yes, now feed so I don't have to carry you back to camp". Tomie says with a stern tone. Astarion leans over her. He puts his lips against her neck to feel her pulse point. The urge to kiss her neck is overrun by his urge to feed. As gently as possible, he bites down into the tender flesh. Tomie doesn't make a sound. Just slow and steady breaths. As he feeds, his mind becomes clear, alert, hungry. She tastes incredible. Like a rich and fragrant brandy. He feeds for what feels like forever until he starts to feel Tomie's body growing cold. He stops immediately to see her eyelids fluttering and her breathing become more shallow.

"Shit. Darling! Why didn't you stop me? Say something?? Push me away?" Astarions voice cracks. He cradles her head and starts lifting her to sitting position. Tomie's body barely complies. She is not in any state to walk.

He holds her face in his hands. "Look at me darling, stay with me alright? You'll be fine. I'm going to bring you back to camp."

"Are you okay now? Did you get enough?" Tomie says, weakly.

Such a sweet thing. She better not die. He stopped just before she would have slipped away, it seems.

"I'm more than okay. Don't worry about me."

With his restored strength, he picks her up gently and starts carrying her back to camp. Her arms and legs wrap around him limply and she rests her head over his shoulder.

"Now I'm the one carrying you, darling." He chuckles nervously. "Stay with me, we'll get you sorted". He tries and fails to hide the clear concern in his voice.

She starts absent-mindedly running her hands through his soft white curls. He assumes she's doing this to signal to him that she is okay and isn't angry. A bit of soothing to calm his racing mind. Gods, this woman is driving him mad. Even in a state of near death she's still worried about him more.

Thankfully everyone is already asleep and won't see him carrying their passed out, bleeding leader to his tent. He doesn't know how he would even begin to explain this.

Once inside, he lays her down on his bedroll and tries to gather water and rations. When she has recovered, she can eat and regain her strength just like she did for him. Once she is all set up and sleeping soundly. He takes a deep sigh. Gods, he almost killed her. And she didn't say a thing. She said she trusted him and she did completely. Even to the point of near death. He needs to be more careful. If he kills the groups leader, the others would turn on him in an instant.

But for now, she is fine. If a bit tired. She will rest and be alright. He will keep watch to make sure she's safe and ok. He owes her that much.

[themadlu]

Astarion's Star Elf Background Headcanons

In collaboration with the lovely @spacebarbarianweird!

A bit of a less popular take on Astarion’s background headcanons—I know it is generally accepted that he is originally a moon elf from the Faerunian upper class, but, between in-game trivia and developing my own stories, a different idea came up. 

I’ll outline why I think the Star Elf headcanon fits the sassy elf, and how it plays into his storyline.

Obviously, this is all done for the shits and giggles, so every headcanon is valid, and I’d love to hear about different takes on Astarion’s origins!

Race: Star Elves

Star Elves, or Ruar-tel-quessir, have only recently returned to Faerun due to repeated attacks by an extra-planar entity on their home-realm of Sildëyuir. 

Because of their prolonged absence and reclusive communities, Star Elves are not familiar with most of Toril’s customs and history. In Sildëyuir, they had no contact with most other species (such as humans, dwarves, halflings, gnomes, etc.), and they prefer to keep to themselves once in Faerun too. 

They are particularly wary of humans, as their misuse of magic and warmongering tendencies were what caused Star Elves to flee Toril in the first place. 

They consider themselves better than most other races, only getting along with other elves. They fear for Moon Elves and half-elves who mix with other species, and they consider them overly-generous and too naive. 

As such, Star Elves tend to come across as aloof and cautious. (I know this may not sound like Astarion at all, but bear with me).

Their moral alignment is purely chaotic, with a majority of them being in the chaotic good or neutral categories. 

Physically, Star Elves share some traits with their fellow Moon Elves: light skin (check) and gold, red or silver (check) hair. 

However, Star Elves have grey or violet-coloured eyes with gold flecks in them (imagine an Astarion with violet eyes!).

Star Elves are also taller than other elves, standing between 5½ to 6 ft tall, with a slender build.

They are also considered extremely beautiful by human standards, much more so than any other type of elf. 

Astarion’s Background as a Star Elf:

Right, let’s talk about objective things first: physicality. 

Astarion fits the Star Elf type quite well: 

He has silver hair, light skin (given he is still the palest of the bunch even after he is well fed).

He fits the height range at 5 ft 9.

He has a slender body (a bit too built for an elf, but that is likely Larian knowing what sells),

Most importantly, he is strikingly handsome. Exceedingly so, more than most other elves in the game. 

As there is no confirmation about pre-vampirism eye colour, in my head he used to have violet eyes. I think that would have made him stand out in Baldurian society even more. 

Which gets me to the more subjective part of personality and backstory. 

Aloof and cautious may not be the first qualities that come to mind thinking of Mr Sass, but work with me. 

Someone aloof is not overly friendly, being cool and distant instead. Is Astarion friendly? I mean, genuinely friendly to people, and not forcing himself to look eager because he is forced to do so by Cazador or by circumstances? 

He threatens Tav as soon as they meet, is snarky with everyone else for a good portion of Act 1 (and with some even during Act 2 and 3), and at the end of game party he keeps mostly to himself.

Ultimately, Tav is the only one he seems comfortable enough to be open and friendly with, and that requires a lot of trust, care and work (especially for good-aligned Tavs). 

As for the cautious side, he is a bloodthirsty little shit who loves a good fight, but he doesn’t strike me as someone who would throw himself into desperate situations (without proper compensation at least). 

He disapproves of Tav doing things for free or forcing him into situations where the risks are too great, often stating that ignoring those needing help is the easiest thing, they just need to ‘look away and keep walking’. 

His inherent racism towards other races (ehem, gnomes) can be a result of spending his early years in a very secluded environment.

He presents himself as someone loving life luxuries, but I think that's his Baldur's Gate, more constructed persona. He seems just as happy to fondle about in the dirt TWICE, despite claiming he is not used to it. Maybe he's not as upper class as he wants to appear.

Granted, these traits may be a result of him being a glorified sex slave subject to unimaginable torture for 200 years, but I think his need to be have the upper hand in power dynamics existed before his undeath too.

The chaotic nature is evident, and I headcanon he starts off as chaotic neutral, starts leaning into the evil side as he gets corrupted by power first and by abuse after, then he can either get back to chaotic neutral with a good-aligned companion or become fully chaotic evil as the Ascendant. 

And this leads me to the actual backstory.

Astarion’s Backstory:

Larian originally set Astarion out to be a noble, then changed his background to charlatan and, in some lost character sheet, courtesan (fancy type of prostitute). I’ll stick with the final charlatan/courtesan version. 

Astarion was born somewhere in Faerun in a community of Star Elves. 

His family was of poor background, having fallen out with the leaders of the enclave.

That, paired with the isolation of the community, prompted Astarion to leave his home in his early 20s, slightly earlier than usual for elves. 

He wanted more from life than being stuck in a reclusive society and being looked down upon from others. He wanted to live a comfortable existence, be wealthy, be admired, and to achieve that he needed one thing: power. 

He headed to Baldur’s Gate (convincing fellow travellers to let him on their carts, horses, etc.) with nothing more than the clothes on his person, attracted by its reputation as a multicultural hub brimming with opportunities. He did forge some documents proving he already had some basic qualification to enter law school (not sure reclusive elves issue any), completed his studies and started a career as magistrate. 

During this time, he quickly realised how his looks were one of his biggest strengths in forging alliances. He had been complimented before, but most Star Elves are beautiful, so he was not as universally admired as he was in Baldur’s Gate. He used and abused this knowledge, flirting with individuals from many other races (gnomes aside, he has standards) and genders, enjoying the perks his smooth persona got him (money, status, promotions) and revelling in the adulation of his admirers.

He became even more power hungry, signing laws because they would benefit him or his upper class acquaintances rather than the general population. He was ready to do anything to achieve his goals. 

It was in one of the many soirees he attended that he came across Cazador (or rather, Cazador noticed him). The Vampire Lord saw an astonishingly handsome, young and inexperienced elf who could work most people around his manicured slim fingers and immediately singled him out. Studied him. I don’t think he introduced himself before turning him; rather, he gathered information about him via his connections and learned he was an up and coming magistrate, an outsider, conveniently with no family or stable relationships who would miss him or go look for him should he disappear. 

We know Cazador is a machiavellian villain, so he probably found a way to convince Astarion (through a bribe and pulling at his dislike of lower class vagrants) into signing a law forcibly evicting the Gur from the land they settled on, on the basis of it belonging to some patriar or noble and therefore their permanence being illegal. Cazador knew retaliation would be swift, and I bet he probably even had someone tell the Gur which magistrate had them kicked out. 

Cazador waited nearby while Astarion was being brutally assaulted, chasing off the Gur thugs to claim his prized future spawn. He didn’t need permission to bite Astarion and turn him, but he asked likely because he knew he would never turn down a chance at eternal life and because it would be another way to torment him later (‘Remember boy, I gave you the grace of my gift, you begged for it!’). Probably, Astarion’s last words as a living elf were, ‘Do…any…thing…please’. 

After becoming a spawn and suffering centuries of abuse, Astarion forgot about his past, himself and his family. He doesn’t even remember what type of elf he is (Moon or Star). His parents may still be alive, but with their life being secluded from the outside world, it is unlikely he will come across them in their lifetime.

[grape-eating-vampire]

PART 2 of

things that happened so far in my first bg3 playthrough ever that I found so funny that I put them in my notes (now proper spoilers below)

defeated Ketheric Thorm in no less than 4 attempts

freed Mizora from one of the mindflayer pods, regretted it immediately because I hate the woman

got annoyed at missing so much companion banter, caved and got the companion limit begone mod

am now running around with all the origin companions, left the druids at camp to not be toooo overpowered (luckily I'm so bad at the game that it doesn't make a huge difference anyway)

there is someone named Orpheus and eithin seconds I had the Wedding Song from Hadestown stuck in my head

reached Baldur's Gate! my 200€ pc is Suffering

slept with the emperor to get the 'Mind Blown' achievement only for my mum to walk in in the middle of it to ask me for a hairclip

needless to say she was concerned and I had to explain myself (she stayed concerned but also found it funny)

snuck into Cazadors home and met someone named Sebastian, bawled my eyes out at his and Astarion's conversation

killed Cazador!! (fuck that guy)

went through the entirety of the sewers to find Minsc because what Jaheira says is law and the quest markers in my game are buggy as hell

on a sidenote, I godamn LOVE Minsc and Jaheira as a duo they are the best

recruited Minsc obviously, also took me two attempts because just knocking him out while he was under a 'Hold Person' spell counted as killing to Jaheira :(

met Dammon again! Karlach was thrilled and so was I

talked to Gortash (he's meh) and he told me to kill Orin

talked to Orin (I hate her with all I have and more) and she told me to kill Gortash

OH I ALMOST FORGOT

Remember how I left the druids at camp? Orin snuck in and took Halsin, pretended to be him and had me almost crying

but rage prevailed, so I went around the city for about 19 years to figure out how to get into Baahls temple (I had only knocked out someone instead of killing them, making the amulet you need for it not spawn in their inventory)

finally figured it out, went in, and immediately found a clowns head from about 20 hours playtime ago

killed Orin (and got the achievement), it was great fun bc as mentioned before, I despise her

Halsin was so thankful I'd saved him that he immediately went "haha tysm for not leaving me, wanna fuck?"

so I left Wyll for him (with lots of pain in my heart, the things we do for the plot istg)

have not played since, but my most recent savefile is called "the wicked bitch is dead, long live the druids"

[sasha199]

Gale/ Rolan drama pt. 9

Read all of me on A03

Mayhem and Madness

Okay BIG trigger warning for smut. Fem Tav, human.

Y’all…this game hits different when your Tav is a stand in for yourself.

My sister and I are playing a multiplayer as ourselves, as sisters. I (Sasha) was romancing both Gale and Wyll. Sister (Marlie) is pulling both Astarion and Shadowheart

“She doesn’t want to see you.” 

“Damnation, how can I make things right if you won’t even let me speak to her.”

“You made her cry, Rolan.” Marlie’s voice is radiating impatience. 

He says nothing for a moment, I hope he feels bad. 

“She’s always crying…” he finally mutters. I roll my eyes, sending Marlie a vision of a dramatic facepalm. I hear her snort in response on the other side of the door. 

“Not the point. Now go away.”

“I can’t.” Rolan's voice sounds strained, almost achingly so, “Lia will not give me peace until I fix this.”

“Not my problem.”

I get to my feet with a sigh and open the door of the bedroom I’m taking refuge in. “It’s okay, sis. I’ll at least hear him out.”

“No you won’t.” Marlie's tone is matter of fact, “I’ve got a Silence scroll I've been dying to use, let him say one more rude word...”

“I’d Counterspell it,” Rolan grumbles looking infuriated.

“Really Marlie, it’s fine. I’ll do it for Lia’s sake.” I turn and walk back into the room, Rolan’s quick angry footsteps follow me. 

I plop down on one side of the sunken bed and gesture for him to sit on the other. He shakes his head, “This won’t take long.”

“Oh really?” I draw my legs up to sit criss-cross. “Go ahead then, stand there like you're on display.”

He lets out a deep breath between gritted teeth, before coming over to the mattress and perching at the edge of it. 

“I…well... I…”

I blink at him, “Yes Rolan, you?”

He visibly gathers himself before responding, humility is very painful for him. "First of all, l apologize. For lashing out at you. Drunkenly, soberly. I should never have yelled…what I did.” He pauses in his intense study of the threadbare coverlet beneath him to look at me. He looks sober and coherent, for the most part. That’s good. 

“Great,” I say, “I’m sorry too.”

He cocks his head, surprised. “For what?” 

“I should’ve left you alone, after your rescue. I don’t know what I was thinking pushing your buttons like that when emotions were already running so high.”

“Oh,” he pushes his hair back over his horns, “my rescue, yes…it seems I owe you and your sister a great deal…” he’s not bothering to cover his ears with his hair today. They’re surprisingly delicate, almost elf-like. Cute. 

“Look, as much fun as this is Rolan, just tell Lia we’re good, okay?” I reach out to pat his back, but think better of it half way there. “Tell her you groveled and all is forgiven.” 

“You don’t understand,” Rolan turns his body to face me, “she wants me to DO something for you.”

I make a face, “Like what? Why?” 

“You're very dear to her and, damn it, after all she's been through it's the least I can do." He turns away from me again, now addressing the far wall of the bedroom. "She suggested, perhaps, a magic lesson.” 

I laugh out loud, he turns a darker shade of red but I ignore it. “Thanks, but that would be a waste of time. I’ve already had a "moment of magic"  with your so-called Weave, it didn't go well. I think Mystra hates me.”

He scoffs and regards me with a golden eye, “I could almost believe that. But perhaps you simply had a terrible teacher.”

“I didn’t.”

“Obviously you did, if they failed to impart so simple a concept.”

“Rude, Rolan.”

He takes a deep deep breath and then in one smooth motion kneels down on the floor next to the bed. “Sasha."

I frown at him, what is he playing at?

He looks almost sincere, and pained, as he fixes that golden stare on my face. "Please, allow me to attempt this so that I can appease my recently kidnapped sister.” 

“Get up, Rolan.”

“Zurgan, must you be so willfull?"

"Don't you Infernal at me! I don't WANT anything from you. You and I have done enough harm to each other."

He does not move, only glares at me, his tail flicking behind him in obvious irritation.

I look up at the ceiling, this has been such a long day. "Can you please just leave?'

"Not until you agree!” He punctuates this with a loud thump from his tail on the bed. I jump a little and we both look startled. 

“Don’t go breaking your tail, now.” I snicker at my own joke, if only to keep the tears at bay. It works. "Fine. I'll agree to this, but just know I'm doing this for Lia, not for you."

“As am I,” he says standing up and brushing off his knees, “ Very well. Come over here.”

“What, right now?”

“Yes!” He looks like he wants to throttle me, I know how he feels. 

As I move over to his side of the room he casts something that closes both the door and the window. “To minimize distractions.” He explains brusquely when I raise my eyebrows at him.

He holds out a clawed hand, I take it hesitantly. His grip is delicate but firm. “Wow, you’re really warm.”

He clears his throat, “Yes. Now focus. I will be the conduit…” his further explanation is straight forward only slightly varied from what I remember with Gale. He doesn’t require that I do any hand motions but is still very insistent that I get the verbal component correct. Since this is where I dropped the ball last time, my stomach clenches and I hesitate. He makes a motion with his head as if prompting me. I open my mouth, and I feel all the air leave my lungs in a rush, as if there’s a force emanating from Rolan that propels the words from my gut and out into the universe. 

I stare at him wide eyed as an image  consumes my mind, a bit like the tadpole connection. 

I see myself naked and sweating, breasts bouncing, body writhing. My face is contorted with ecstasy as a horned person buries their sharp incisors into the soft flesh below my collar bone. I cry out as I feel their ridged member sliding in and out of my womanhood. Claws dig into my hips, grinding greedily with need. “Yes! Yes!” I scream, almost weeping with the intensity of it, I’m so close, so close to something. A hot wet mouth closes down over mine and the metallic taste of blood dances on our tongues. I open my eyes and it’s Rolan’s face above me, loving me. Fucking me.

I sit down hard upon the wooden floor. The air is knocked out of me, I see spots and I’m reeling. 

“What…what…” it’s Rolan’s voice, he sounds breathless, he’s lying flat on his back, “what the FUCK was that?” He manages finally.

“I don’t- are you alright?” I try to crawl over to him but my legs feel weak. My core is throbbing almost painfully and I feel very…damp. 

Something grips me, I look down and see Rolan’s tail is wrapped around my calf. I can feel the ridges pressing into my skin. “Ah, Rolan… would you please…”

I turn back to him and his face is inches from mine, his eyes are almost black, the pupils blown wide. “Is that what you want?” He licks his lips, “why would you show me that?”

“I-I didn’t." My heart is pounding, but I don't move away. "I don’t know what happened.”

“Liar.” He breathes, flashing his fangs. The kiss is messy, hungry, passionate. Heat radiates from every part of him. His hands are on my back, cupping my hips, caressing my breasts. 

“Gods below-” my nipples harden beneath his ministrations and heat blossoms in me. His hair tickles my face and as I reach up to smooth it back my fingers brush the ringed base of his horns. He growls in response, pressing me down, climbing on top of me. He tastes like fire and spiced wine, he smells intoxicating, faintly of rose water.

Rose water, I've smelled that before, yes last time I worked the Weave with Gale...

I moan into his mouth, trying desperately to speak between deep kisses, “R-rolan...wait, ah-…”

I gasp as he drags his sharp teeth down the curve of my neck. Clawed fingertips graze over my skin beneath my blouse. His knees are between my thighs and I vaguely wonder if he can feel my desire.

“How dare you,” he mutters against me, "...maddening." He sounds absolutely ragged as his lips trace the line of my jaw, his hot breath burning.

I tug at his hair and our lips crash together again. His mouth is perfect, I whimper as his tongue sweeps against mine. I want more…I want it all…

And then he’s getting to his feet, adjusting his robes. I feel a strong pull as he moves away, his tail is still wrapped around me. He lets out an infernal curse, jerking it after him with his hand. The door shuts firmly behind him.

I slowly raise up onto my elbows and make my way to the bed. My hair has come undone, messy curls tumbling around my shoulders and into my eyes. As I go to gather it back, I notice a couple of scratches on the hand Rolan was holding. 

Fuck.  I rub a finger on my tender lips.

What just happened? Was it the Weave, the magic? Or was that vision Rolan’s doing? Was it mine?

Marlie comes in after a couple of minutes, the sounds of chatter behind her increase as she opens the door. “You all right?” 

“Yes,” I reply, I clear my throat, “I think he and I are okay now.”

“Oh good.”

“Yeah.”

[tugoslovenka]

i do not understand people who try to argue astarion's 10 CHA is unrealistic. have you seen the man try to hit on you?? he is the single most obvious "i am going to belt out these pretty lines i learned on youtube's how to flirt tutorials until we're alone enough so i can stab you" himbo in recent video games. like there is a whole building of red flags alongside a choir that is screaming GET AWAY the moment he opens this mouth?? the lines he uses are obviously pulled from the time he used to hunt people down for cazador hence the proficency in deception, persuasion and performance. its literally the opposite of charisma, it's him being practiced enough to know what to say. i mean dont get me wrong, i would 100% be lured into that mansion and killed within seconds but that's because i'm a moron that sees the giant red flag building with a choir and pretend im blind and deaf for pretty elf dick

[autistichalsin]

Do you have any thoughts/ideas about Halsin sickfic? How he would act when he was sick or his response to being cared for?? I’ve seen quite a few with like Gale and Astarion but not really any with Halsin. I love him so so much and he makes me emotional and he deserves to be cared for.

I am working on one as we speak- hoping to get a chapter posted tonight. <3

So, to me this is interesting, because there's two versions I can see. There's the one most obviously in character, where he acts stoic, refuses to admit he's ill until he must, and then still feels guilty for needing to rest. That is the sick Halsin I see most easily.

But there are other circumstances where I can see different reactions from him; if he's recently been frightened by something, if he has something else on his mind, or maybe if he's experiencing more severe symptoms. In this case, I could see Halsin showing more raw vulnerability. Maybe he's frightened of dying, or feels lonely/afraid of being abandoned, or he's hurting. And in those cases, I can see him becoming a bit clingy, being more open about how miserable he is, accepting more pampering from his love interest, etc.

[spacemonkeysalsa]

Somebody (okay like a lot of people) said being attracted to a character makes it hard to be objective about them. So, for science (eh, for fun) I have interviewed a lesbian with nearly 3000 hours in Baldur's Gate 3 with questions about Astarion:

Q: Hi. I know you are a lesbian, but that doesn't preclude being attracted to Astarion, so let's also establish objectivity according to the experts. Are you attracted to Astarion at all?

A: No. It's kind of devastating to me because I love vampires. But apparently they do have to be lady vampires.

Q: Perfect. Have you ever tried to romance him anyway?

A: I started a couple of games with the intention of romancing him. It never worked out. I always end up with Shadowheart. Or Lae'zel.

Q: Do you like him, as a character?

A: Yeah. He's great.

Q: Ever kill him in any of your playthroughs?

A: Only to resurrect him, to see his lines. But I've never permanently killed him.

Q: Why not?

A: Because I like his story. I don't always enjoy talking to him about his story, because he's a bit much. But I want him to have that development and see it through. Be happy and free! Fuck Cazador. What a bitch.

Q: Is he an asshole?

A: Yes, but he's a lovable asshole. As much any of the others. Well, some of the others. Let's be fair.

Q: What's his alignment like?

A: I don't understand DnD alignment.

Q: For the record, have you played DnD?

A: Yes. I still don't get it. I have played for years now and this is all I know: lawful tends to equal "the worst in your group." There are exceptions though, like obviously I love Shadowheart, even though she starts off pretty strictly obeying Sharran dogma. Chaotic means "fun." Most party members in any given campaign say they are one thing but then act as true neutrals. And if you participate in a torture session with a DM controlled NPC and you forget to ask any questions, then your alignment will get shifted mid campaign. I learned that recently.

Q: I have no comment on that besides that maybe you should have listened to the bard in your party telling you this was stupid and pointless?

A: I wasn't running the torture session, I just held her still! I'm an accessory. I'm a barbarian, I can't be expected to think shit through or pay any attention to you when you speak.

Q: ...So can Astarion fall in love?

A: He's perfectly capable of that.

Q: If you had to guess his sperm count...?

A: Why would anyone ever care about that? Even if he were a real person? Why would anyone give a shit? Is this really a talking point? Fuck. I hate you guys. Just play the game.

Q: Whose your favorite companion?

A: Shadowheart.

Q: Tell me what you like about her?

A: The process of getting to know her, delving underneath that shell of secrets. She's so strong and sweet even through she can't easily show it right away because of all the bullshit she's been taught. In early access, when I couldn't get her out of the pod, either because that wasn't an option in the game yet, or I was too stupid, I've never figured it out, I was devastated. I didn't even know her yet, but I was so in love from the very beginning.

Q: Aww, that's really nice. What character do you think you are most like?

A: Karlach and Lae'zel. Maybe more Karlach, but definitely both. Not that Karlach isn't great, but I wish I was more like Lae'zel.

Q: And I should probably end on an Astarion question again since that was kind of the point. What about him do you find relatable, assuming that's anything?

A: I totally relate to wanting to put up a front to protect yourself. Can't relate to the method at all but the motivation is solid. Also, even though I have never romanced him, I have seen his DTR dialogue, and I really love it. I love how honest he is about his feelings. It's not romantic to be uncertain, but he doesn't care about that anymore, because he's just being totally transparent. It might seem weird that I would say that while being down bad for the least transparent character in the game, but that's a trait I personally value in myself more than a partner. Don't get me wrong, it would be nice, but for me I really try to be honest about what I am feeling. You can't DTR with Shadowheart really, the equivalent would be the stupid "you've never been in a relationship like this have you?" dialogue option which is never what I would say irl, but it's all I get in the game, and I think she's telling the truth when you have that conversation. With Astarion, it's so obvious. He's so obvious. I'm like that. I think it's very cool that you see that development in him, going from lying to survive to just being totally readable. Whether you're romancing him or not, by act three you know exactly what he's really about. Or if you don't, you haven't been talking to him, or like failed all your insight checks or something.

Q: Thanks! You were great. Anything to add?

A: Shadowzel forever.