#and of course there was THE DRAMA of mr M and mrs E

[foolishlovers]

CO-WORKER AUs: Below you can find a list of Good Omens AUs in which Crowley and Aziraphale are co-workers. (oh my god they were co-workers)

[Requested by anon. You can request more fic recs here.]

Hit me with your ledger by KissMyAsthma (G, 1k) Corporate accountant Aziraphale has been infatuated with his coworker Crowley for a long time, but he has done nothing about it. One day, opportunity strikes and… Sometimes, an accidental nude is all it takes to score a date.

Get Down by AppleSeeds (T, 3k) When Aziraphale calls downstairs asking them to send up someone to fix the fax machine in his office, he doesn't expect them to send the most handsome and stylish man he's ever encountered in his entire life. Hopefully he won't end up doing anything foolish to embarrass himself.

The Piano Serpent by journeytogallifrey (T, 3k) Aziraphale owns The Flaming Sword, which is one of the premier gay bars in London. Everyone knows this… except for their pianist, Crowley. While the regulars take bets over whether he's the clueless straight person he seems, Aziraphale just tries to prevent himself from falling further. But one night Crowley plays a song written specially to honor their regulars, and Aziraphale can't hold the truth in any longer. How will Crowley react? Will the truth really set them free?

Hold the Lift by CemeteryAngel725 (T, 5k) Crowley just wants to get to work on time, but when he gets stuck in a lift with new guy Aziraphale, he ends up with a lot more than he bargained for. See, Aziraphale has this list of 36 questions…

!False (It's Funny Because It's True) by MirjamOmens (E, 6k) Aziraphale drew a long breath through his nose. Crowley, of course it had to be Crowley. The new guy in the sales department, who would promise potential customers just about anything to close a deal. Arrogant, annoying – and wildly, stupidly attractive. Aziraphale hated him. Aziraphale is a stellar software architect and a project manager, who is so done with the sales department selling unrealistically scheduled and budgeted projects. And he definitely doesn't have a crush on anyone, thank you very much.

Bang This Out? by crepesandoysters (E, 9k) As far as work friendships go, Aziraphale and Crowley have won the jackpot. They work well together and know how to make each other laugh, the whole metaphorical package. They could even be called best friends. Or, at least, they could be called that until today. Today comes with a kiss, and the kiss comes with more. A lot more if it were up to them. Except that their workplace seems to have other ideas.

Cock Tales by TawnyOwl95 (E, 12k) Crowley’s love life is on the rocks so he finally swears off men. Typical that his new job places him with a co-worker who's so straight up sexy. Or in which, Aziraphale tries to mix things up, Crowley is shaken and Anathema is a right stirrer. But could a relationship be worth a shot?

I'm Beginning to See the Light by ineffabildaddy (E, 15k) There was Crowley - the paragon of cool, the overlord of apathy, breezing easily through each and every one of their exchanges and giving no fucks while doing so; then there was the anachronistic, cloying Aziraphale, trying and failing not to live life like a Thomas Hardy protagonist, and giving many fucks indeed. Or: Aziraphale has quite the pash on his colleague Crowley, who seems resolutely disinterested in him. As their annual Christmas party progresses, it appears that Crowley may not be as disinterested as Aziraphale first thought.

Wild Hearts by foolishlovers (E, 15k, WIP) In the idyllic English countryside, far from the hustle and bustle of the big city, two teachers at Willowbrook Hall set out to transform their students’ lives through the world of theatre. But for Mr. Crowley, the challenge of navigating his long hidden feelings and dear friendship with Mr. Fell may prove to be the greatest drama of all.

House Style by soft_october (M, 24k) “Since that's all settled, the real question is did he give you his number?” Anathema laughed. “He was looking at you the way you look at lunch.” “Forget lunch!” Michael declared. “He was looking at you the way you were looking at him!” Aziraphale is content in his job as an editor at Celestial Publishing, though he could go for a bit less of doing his boss' job for him. But everything goes a bit screwy when the CEO brings in a consultant with plans to build a program that will turn the entire editorial department on its head. If only he wasn't so handsome.

All Lines Are Open by TawnyOwl95, FeralTuxedo (E, 21k) Anthony Crowley, bored host of a trite call-in radio show on Tadfield FM, has very few pleasures in life beyond annoying his long-suffering producer Aziraphale. When a caller reports suspicious activity at the abandoned Tadfield Manor, Crowley is determined to investigate, dragging Aziraphale along. Both of them are going to get more than they bargained for. A local radio AU

Heavenly Wicked Cafe by WaitingToBeBroken (T, 28k, WIP) There is a terribly rude barista that makes amazing coffee and a saint of a barista, whose coffee tastes vile. And they are in love.

i've found a way (a way to make you smile) by curtaincall (T, 40k) Crowley worked in Sales. He had never intended to work in Sales. It had just sort of happened. One moment, there he’d been, a newly minted university graduate off to change the world, exquisitely useless Philosophy degree in hand, and now here he was, having sauntered vaguely downwards into a Hell that consisted mainly of cold-calling new customers and sucking up to existing ones.   AU based on The Office.

First Class (Hons) Christmas, University of Tadfield. by heloluv (M, 41k) Dr. A.Z. Fell is a renowned literature tutor at the prestigious University of Tadfield. December is upon the University, and Dr. Fell is leading the Christmas Charity Drive. He needs volunteers. Dr. A.J. Crowley is a skilled plant ecologist who recently began his tenure at UoT. He can't stand Christmas, and nothing at all could ever possibly convince him to partake in "festivities". Until a certain literary expert catches his eye. A Christmas and New Years fic, in which Aziraphale teaches Crowley how to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year.

because thinking makes it so by summerofspock, NaroMoreau (E, 41k) It's supposed to be an exchange. An arrangement. Something to make them both feel better and less lonely. But Crowley's never had the brightest ideas.

Tadfield's Finest by angelsnuffbox (E, 51k) The sleepy town of Tadfield is thoroughly shaken by the arrival of DI Crowley. Where barely anything ever happened before, there is now a bustle of low grade criminal activity, and everyone knows where to point the blame. Gabriel thinks he's a bad omen for the town, many others are quick to agree. Meanwhile, Aziraphale from SOCO just thinks he's hot. Ridiculously so.

Golden Handcuffs by seekwill (E, 70k) Far from any city, near the Scottish coast, Tadfield College has a celebrated history, an unrivaled academic reputation, and two departments at war. When the Biology and English departments are forced to share a building, Senior Lecturer and botanist Anthony Crowley finds himself drawn into the orbit of the polite but strange English professor, Dr. Aziraphale Fell. As the new term begins, two academics navigate the politics of both their offices and academia, and try to solve the puzzle of one another.

Sugar And Spice by SylWritesStuff, ladydragona (E, 95k, WIP) Queer technology giant Anthony J. Crowley is just about ready to throw in the towel after relationship after relationship has failed, but there's a new barista at the company coffee shop and he's cute and sweet and Crowley's never been able to resist blond hair and blue eyes. The tabloids will have a field day, they always do, but his assistant is getting married and a temp is needed. A temp who really isn't very good at making complicated coffees, has past experience in reception, and absolutely no idea that the latest complicated coffee order came from the owner himself. Aziraphale only knows that he's handsome, patient, and was the first person who told him he was doing well. How could he refuse the temp position? Or, he soon discovers, more.

[you can find more fic rec masterposts here]

[johannestevans]

I have added my ongoing serials to ScribbleHub, in case people read there!

Prophet's Cry

Erotic romance/drama, M/M infidelity leading to M/M/M where a boss doesn't realise that the man he's started seeing is the husband of the subordinate coworker he's been fucking over his desk. Rated E, 20k+. This has a Steddyhands flavour if that's your vibe.

Prophet Shulman, Administrative Secretary at the Middlesbrough branch of Friar Holdings, has been on the verge of divorce for the past twenty years, almost ever since he got married.

Shagging his boss might make him as bad as his husband, but what the Hell's the point in trying to be good anymore?

Meanwhile, Vance Vixen, recently emerged from his own divorce and also the closet, when not shagging his Admin Secretary in the stationery cupboard, begins a delicate romance with a bartender named Gideon Shulman.

Read on ScribbleHub / / Ao3 / / Medium

Powder and Feathers

Dark erotic romance between a highly manipulative Fallen angel and a depressed, lonely alcoholic of an artist, fantasy and magical elements throughout. Rated E M/M with some fucking around, lots of kink, possession, weird flavours of trauma around bodily autonomy & abuse recovery.

This is originally inspired by Les Misérables, but if you love the French nastiness of Lestat de Lioncourt, you might enjoy the same vibes in Jean-Pierre Delacroix. Ditto if you generally like fucky angel mythology.

It seems to Aimé Deverell that there is very little point to life, except for what pleasures can be enjoyed before the grave. Life is short - thank God - but at least there's enough in the world to dull the senses in the meantime.

That philosophy shatters like glass when he meets Jean-Pierre, an angel.

Read on ScribbleHub / / Ao3 / / WorldAnvil / / Medium

Rescue Dogs

Slice-of-life and trauma recovery with some fucked-up romance and fantasy on the side between an ex-knight of the realm and destined hero and his ex-PE teacher. M/M with that E rating. Age gap, teacher/student vibes, trauma recovery, etc - ex-hero and child of destiny tries to be a normal person.

If you like the vibes of post-war fucked-up Snarry, you'll vibe with this; if you like the fucked-up destiny dynamics in BBC Merlin, ditto. In general, if you like it when men identify a little bit too much with abused dogs, this is the story for you.

Cecil Hobbes, an ex-PE teacher disgraced and looked down on in his hometown, has a new partner: Sir Valorous King, a knight of the realm, once a child of prophecy, and Cecil’s stalker.

A few months into their relationship, Cecil finally convinces Valorous to see a therapist, on the condition that Cecil attend one himself.

Read on ScribbleHub / / Ao3 / / WorldAnvil / / Medium

An Uncommon Betrothal

Period romance set in the 20th century interwar period between a disabled gentleman and his butler. Also E, also M/M. Lots of disability and chronic illness feelings here alongside a growing desire for and sense of queer community as a man begins for the first time to reach out and experiment with his sexuality whilst being disabled.

If you love Jeeves and Wooster or if you love more serious valet and butler vibes, such as Thomas plotlines in Downton Abbey, you'll vibe with this; if you're generally craving plots with disabled, fat, and neurodivergent men being very explicitly desiring, desirable, and desired, you'll like this!

Alexos Fox is of course quite sad when the long-time butler of his household, the man who all but raised him, retires. He is not at all prepared for the old man’s replacement: his exceedingly attractive and painfully tempting nephew, Harry Sutton.

Alexos, overcome with feelings that are simply too much to repress, tries his best to avoid him, but it seems that Mr Sutton has more than his employment on his mind as he attends his new employer with keen and concentrated focus.

Read on ScribbleHub / / Ao3 / / WorldAnvil / / Medium

[mojowitchcraft]

Fave WIP Round-Up [Part 2]

Posted a list of my fave WIPs last night and realized I missed some, so here's Part 2 of my fave WIPs! Find the rest of my WIP Recs here

is your light on? by @toburnup Rated E | Chapters: 17/20 | Words: 196k

"Tell me a secret." Steve says and Eddie shakes his head. "Why would I do that?" "I'll tell you one." Eddie looks intrigued, smirks in his direction. "A secret for a secret? Okay." He looks up. "You go first." (Steve always noticed Eddie. He's been there on the peripheral, easy enough to ignore. Until he's standing right in front of him, unavoidable. And then they collide over, and over, and over)

Tell Me "Don't", So I Can Crawl Back In by kiaramgrey Rated E | Chapters: 8/? | Words: 43k

When Steve finds himself alone and without friends, following his breakup with Nancy, he decides what he needs is a distraction. Maybe some new friends who don't remind him of the bullshit life he gave up. When he literally runs into Eddie Munson, school drug dealer and self proclaimed freak, an idea begins to form. Who better to show him what life outside popularity can be like, than someone who doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks? And Eddie? Well, Eddie is just bracing for impact.

Reboot by @plutosrose [Now Complete] Rated E | Chapters: 10/10 | Words: 38k

In 2012, Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson film a scene in the teen drama Normal Stuff that launches a popular ship on ao3. By early 2013, they aren't speaking anymore. In 2024, Robin calls Steve with an offer to reprise his role as Andy Hartley in a reboot of their old show, with one important update--his character gets together with Eddie's.

Lesson/Plan by @2btheanswertothequestion Rated M | Chapters: 3/5 | Words: 7k

Eddie huffs. "I'm already 20 fucking years old. I don't want to wait any longer. I want to experience all the shit everyone else already has now." "Everyone hasn't-" "Steve, the 15-year-olds currently in this house have seen more action than I have." "All right, okay, I hear you. We'll solve it for you." "How." "Well," Steve's tongue darts out to wet his lips, "if you just want to get it over with, then... I could kiss you?" Eddie's never been kissed, so Steve offers to teach him. And then he teaches him some more, and some more, and some more.

Sleight of Hand by @flieslikeamoron Rated E | Chapters: 17/19 | Words: 125k

Steve needs a weed dealer. He gets a bit more than that. (This is an AU set a couple months after the Snow Ball in season 2.)

PTA Shouldn't Stand for Pretty Tight Ass by @humanityinahandbag & Invader_Sam | Rated M | Chapters: 14/? | Words 51k

Steve Harrington - ex local legend and fearsome bully, now single father of two - returns to Hawkins after the world spit him out. With a messy life to sort through, all he wanted was settle down and get his kids through seventh grade without any surprises. Cue Mr. Eddie Munson, ex victim of one Steve Harrington, now Hawkins Middle School's favorite music teacher. Or: What happens when your former high school bully raises two absolute nerds, joins the PTA, helps run the bake sale, makes the best cupcakes in Indiana, and may or may not be having a bisexual crisis.

Some Cupids Kill With Dice by @hawkinsheroes Rated M | Chapters: 14/? | Words: 109k

Steve Harrington doesn't have time to date. In fact, between working multiple part-time jobs and raising two rambunctious and poorly-behaved preteens, he doesn't have time for much of anything. And it's fine. He's fine. He's having an absolutely awesome time slinging ice cream, sorting DVDs, and dodging questions from his friends and family about his love life. That is, of course, until the twins come to him with a simple request: go to Parents Night and sign them up for Mr. Munson's Dungeons and Dragons club. Or, the one where Steve is a tired and overworked DILF who may or may not be smitten with his kids' seventh grade English teacher. Featuring: busted old Hondas, milkshakes as an intricate mating ritual, twelve year-old wingmen, and the worst flirting you've ever seen in your life.

breathe out (so i can breathe you in) by @bttmbunk Rated E | Chapters: 11/12 | Words: 91k

“You thinking of getting it for yourself?” The man continues, eyebrows raised, and that’s when Steve realises he’s just been staring, practically drooling over this stranger who's decided to strike up a conversation about a guitar. A part of him wishes that the floor would open up and swallow him whole. “Oh, uh, no, actually.” He says, “It’s for my daughter.” Something indecipherable flickers across the man’s face, there and gone again in an instant, “How sweet.” “I don’t know what I’m looking for,” he admits, a little sheepish, “I’m not a musician, so…” he shrugs, “I have no way of knowing if this is a good guitar or not.” There’s a hint of amusement in the man’s eyes as his mouth tilts into a more crooked grin, “Well, lucky for you, I can help.” In one fluid motion, the man drops himself into a sweeping, dramatic bow. The suddenness of it startles a laugh out of Steve. “Eddie Munson, guitarist, musician extraordinaire - at your service.” His energy is infectious - Steve finds that he’s grinning, “Uh, Steve Harrington. Basketball coach, dad,” He tries to think of another good descriptor, but comes up short, “Totally at a loss, here.”

Trouble Looks Good On You by @steddielations Rated E | Chapters: 3/5 | Words: 35k

It happens like a fever dream. The first time Steve gives Eddie a swift smack on the ass, it’s obviously just an old jock habit that’s stuck with him. It wasn’t meant to have Eddie’s knees going weak, or turn his blood hot under his skin, or give him a brand in the shape of Steve Harrington’s hand, or— Nope, because Eddie’s not even into that. But then, it happens again. Or, Steve keeps accidentally awakening Eddie’s new kinks.

for this gift, I do feel blessed @wheatisstillwheat [Now Complete] Rated E | Chapters: 19/19 | Words: 96k

Steve was supposed to be in Berlin with his best friend Robin, not wandering around looking for a coffee shop, not speaking a lick of German. Steve definitely wasn't supposed to take the only open seat next to a beautiful, mysterious (sexy), and slightly pissed stranger at said coffee shop who cannot believe Steve wasn't angling for an autograph from him, which Steve definitely isn't, because Steve has no idea who he is...yet. (OR Rock Star AU - in which Eddie Munson is a famous grunge/alt/metal band frontman and Steve is as clueless as we'd all expect. hi-jinx and love ensue.)

Edited May 7 to update chapter & word counts Edited May 26 to note completed fics Edited Aug 3 to update chapter & word counts

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

EPISODE 5 DOWN AND AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

TAO AND ELLE KISS!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH THEY K I S S E D!!!! WHOOOOOO 🥳🥳🥳🥳😭🥰🥰🥰🥰

Good crying xd

I LOVE them your honor 😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰!!!! My babeys <333. Their scenes were SO good 🥰. Also don't even talk to me about Elle and Nick's conversation <3.

Oh also the shirtless moment xD my poor guy lol

The hickey situation was unfortunately only funny for a short amount of time :') xD

Also Harry was a jerk again and then he was better again?? Hello xDD?? Even Nick and Charlie noticed it lol! But hey I mean some people grow out of being jerks lol

TARA AND DARCY 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔 MY BABEYS!!! Y'ALL WHY 😭😭 I DON'T DESERVE THIS <3333

Also is that the tea on Darcy D:? Honey what's up are you okay :(?

Them teachers once again 😌😌😌 LOVING THEM. Lol idiots <333

Also YES (we) stan Isaac going off on Harry 😌

And oof lol poor James xd bro is DOWN for Isaac lol. Like that's not the poor James thing but a) the Charlie situation lol, and b) "Isaac doesn't think that does he 🥺" listen your honor I love him 😭 xD

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH THE D R A M A 😭😭😭💔💔

Charlie my baby :(( y'all I cannot express how S T R E S S E D I was getting but I gotta admit I love the drama and angst of somebody passing out xD still though 😭

His and Nick's conversation though 🥺😭❤️❤️❤️ I love them so much your honor <333

Still do live in absolute fear though :'))

Oh and Mr. Farouk (again I think that's you spell it? I need have subtitles on for the teachers' names at some point lol) was so sweet with Charlie :')) help I love them <33 (not that I'm obsessed with those two in particular lol but it was sweet, also I love them all kinda that too)

Also AYYY NICK'S DAD (that was "dead" for a second lol) :DD!! I hope that goes well :) 😬

Oh and of course: B E N MIND YOUR B U S I N E S S GO A W A Y

DDD:<

That's for Ben lol

Also why did y'all run in the direction of the security guard person XDD

ANYWAY love them all sooo much 🥰🥰🥰❤️ NEXT TO EPISODE SIX!!!

[littleragondin]

For the ask game!

To Sir with Love, cause I know you love talking about that show >:)

Aaahaha thank you for asking! I do love talking about it a perfectly reasonable amount (˘︶˘).｡.:*♡

Favourite character: look it's Tian. He's sweet and kind and he loves his family, he cries easily (always earns points w/ me), I just adore him. I also love the others very much, but he's just. Yeah.

Funniest character: hmm... I think I'll have to pick Lady Pin, because she was so witty, and her "I'll find another boyfriend" made me laugh out loud.

Best-looking character: oh that's a hard one... I uh, I'm going to cheat because I'm bi and I can't choose to save my life. I think Tian is the best looking man, and Madame Li is the most gorgeous woman.

3 favourite ships: I’m going to be very classic here, unsurprisingly, but of course > Tian/Jiu, they quite simply invented romance, 10/10 no notes, could watch them fall in love for ever. > Yang/Pin, they are super adorable, they are fun and funny, sweetest little things really. > And then... frankly, any combination of Madame Li with the other women of the house. For someone so hell bent on making her son straight, she had chemistry with all those women like wow.

Least favourite character: it’s Mr. Song I’m afraid. Look, is he the one who did the worst things in there? Nah, of course not. But between his disregard for what happens in his family, his treatment of said family from Chan and Yang (unforgivable) to Zhang and Tian (the slap in ep.15??? anyWAY), and the lack of accountability? Really makes me go =/ Ultimately, he's the source of all the shit that goes down (even if it doesn't erase personal responsibility for others, hi Madame Li), and the fact he gets to end the series with a family whole and loving and as close to what he wanted as possible?? HMMMMMM don't like that so much.

Least favourite ship: You know what? Mr. Song/Chan. The only good thing is that it produced Best Brother Yang, but otherwise it's just a terrible, terrible marriage. The resentment and the toxicity is SO unhealthy, there is no respect there, and while it makes for a compelling story it's truly an awful relationship.

Reason why I watch it: it just hits all of my buttons. Absolutely lovely queer romance with a HEA? Check. Period drama which means nice costumes? Check. Family drama and central sibling relationship? Check. Soap opera levels of drama and lies and m u r d e r s? CHECK CHECK CHECK. It has glitter fights people, what more can you ask??

Why I started watching it: I finally caved in to the promise of wonderful siblings (as usual, my ultimate goddamn weakness). That’s the first thing that made me tick when it aired and I started seeing it on my dash, and

[orchisarts]

We were so fortunate to have had our home published in the pages of ELLE Decor two years ago— this month! Still pinching ourselves. We made great friends on-set, like we had all collaborated dozens of times before, and felt completely natural.⁠ ⁠ Of course, no shoot is complete without drama! We shot that first summer of Covid. Try making a fire in the fireplace during the summer... i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e!!! I tried to make a fire in the guest bedroom (image 7) and it just smoldered and smoldered... couldn't create a draft to get the smoke up the chimney to same my life.... so the smoke detector alarm went off and within minutes, the Tri-Village Fire Dept was at our house! Karen's walking home from the Post Office and thinks the house is on fire! It was a crazy moment, but we all got through it!⁠ ⁠ Our home continues to inspire the Mr. P brand and our life here in Old Chatham is enriched each day by dear friends, old and new.⁠ ⁠ And a very special thanks to @harlemtoilegirl for connecting very special people together.⁠ ⁠ ------------⁠ Interior Design: @martincooper_nyc and @suencooper⁠ As seen in @elledecor, October 2020. Photograph by @frankfrancesstudio⁠. Styled by @sophiestrangio written by @catherinehong100 produced by @charlescurkin @dmmaciver @ingridabram @stellenevolandes⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ #elledecor #interiordesign #home #interiors #homedecor #decoration #hudsonvalley #designer #mrpsplacecards #thejoyeconomy #oldchatham #yellowroom #upstate #antiques #honoryourtribe #countrylife #countryhouse #chandelier #livingwithsculpture #supportsmallbusiness #columbiacounty #martincooper @cfda #diningroom @stairgalleries #grandpiano #interiorsofinstagram⁠ — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/XS1yozF

[because-i-am-barely-even-human]

Omegaverse

Omega!Buck, Alpha!Eddie

So, Buck and Eddie unconsciously start to court each other through affectionate gestures and some gifts (h e l l o, fancy Hildy coffeemaker). Although Buck is kinda more aware about what is going on, because he wanted that for a long time and he's more in tune with his inner Omega.

Everything was going nice until Eddie bumped into Ana on the jinx day. Because of Bobby's advice about moving on Eddie decided to ask her out, completely oblivious to the fact that he unconsciously started courting Buck. His inner Alpha, on the other hand, is fully aware of the courting and starts to get irritated with Eddie (lol, some Mr Robot vibes).

Buck, upon finding out about Ana, goes all suspiciously cheery and sassy (hence love language comment) volunteers to babysit during the date. Eddie is a little bit confused but grateful, the Alpha, on the other hand, is really unsettled because he doesn't understand what the fuck Eddie is doing and why his Omega is so ok with that.

So, while Eddie is on the vomit inducing date (doing math on the date? freaky teacher kink? blegh🤮), Buck packs away all the clothes that he left during the sleepovers. Then scrubs the whole house of his scent (wanna go after another Omega? Fine, no Buck scent for you, E d m u n d o), except Christopher's room, cuz he's not gonna hurt his pup like that. And he takes away the fancy coffeemaker, cuz Hildy is on Buck's side, thank you very much.

Chris asks Buck why did he do that and he gently explains what happened and that now he needs to make a room for his dad's future mate. Chris is confused because he thought that Buck is dad's mate (me too buddy, guess your dad is really dumb). Then Christopher goes all "you're my dad too, I don't care about any other stupid mates", Buck's inner Omega is all glowing and really happy, because his pup still loves him.

The date did not go well at all, because Alpha was disgusted by this slutty teacher advances, so all date Eddie was irritated and jumpy and finally feeling like he did something really wrong. On top of that Ana tried to give Edmundo uninvited advices about parenting Christopher and how to deal with his CP (who the hell asked you, miss Skateboard?) and he finally bolted out of there, but not before telling her where she should stick her opinion.

Eddie hurries up home. Before he can say any word, Buck just says goodbye and goes back to the apartment. No banter, no sassy comment or questions about how the date went. Eddie is dejected because he thought he's gonna spend the evening with Buck. Then he goes very still because as soon as Buck left the house his scent just disappeared. He frantically starts looking around - the Devil's coffeemaker is gone. Then he went to the drawer in the bedroom but instead of Buck's clothes Eddie found all little gifts that he gave Buck and realizes that he started courting him before all this Ana mess. Eddie is horrified. His inner Alpha is heartbroken and really fucking furious with his human, because of his stupidity their mate thinks they aren't wanted. So Alpha takes over (as he should have as soon as all this mess started), calls Carla to look after Chris, and races to Buck's apartment to talk.

Buck opens the door but acts really cold towards Eddie, who is all lovesick puppy and really sad because he knows he deserves that. Alpha tries to scent mark him (maybe sniff his neck cuz he misses Buck's scent xD) and apologize, but Omega is not letting him get close and kicks him out (cuz he wanna make his mate grovel for forgiveness).

So, the next few shifts Eddie trails after Buck like a lost puppy, showering him with courting gifts, while Buck goes all drama queen 💅and doesn't talk with Eddie (but he secretly loves the gifts tho). 118 is confused about the whole situation, except Bobby (because he knows what's up and "for the love of god, Eddie, when I said move on I meant BUCK, not the slutty teacher).

It all ends like this: Eddie makes the ultimate move - tells Buck about guardianship thing, because he can't keep it secret any longer. Then he goes for the kill and asks Buck to be Christopher's legal parent right now, together, with him, like he already is. Buck is stunned and speechless 😳 because for him it's one of the most beautiful gifts that Eddie could give. And of course Buck gives back the coffeemaker (cuz it's expensive as fuck and for God's sake, Eddie, use your technologies)

Bonus: epilogue with mpreg Buck, cuz I'm sucker for Buckley-Diaz babies 😏

If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! Would you happen to have any fic recs that involve John meeting the Holmes family? I always think that's such an interesting dynamic to see! Also, I think this goes without saying but I love your blog and appreciate your contributions to the fandom! Thanks!

Hey Nonny!

Ah, thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my blog!

Oooo! Yes, I love that dynamic too!! ANNNNND!!! You’re giving me the chance to make a part 2 for a REALLY OLD LIST!!! So YAY!!! I found a bunch on a text doc I haven’t posted yet, so HERE WE GO! Hope you enjoy, and as always, everyone please add your own!

PARENTS AND FAMILIES Pt. 2

See also: 

Parents & Family

Meeting the Family With a Fake Relationship

Do You Love Me? by whitchry9 (K, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Family, Epic Bromance) – John asks Sherlock perhaps the most important question.

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock's mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this...

Crisis Averted by Spartangal22 (T, 2,188 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Missing Scene After Confronting Mary, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Family / Friendship, Hospitalization, Sherlock POV, Holmes Brothers) – Lying in the hospital, Sherlock receives some surprising visitors, and manages to deal with two problems he's been having lately. A missing scene from HLV about a formal introduction that was never made and a visit that was never shown.

The Only Available Transportation by blueink3 (T, 5,379 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Sherlock, Caring John, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Birthday, Family, Misunderstandings) – It’s possibly the desperation that’s seeped into his voice despite his best intentions, or perhaps it’s just a mother’s intuition, but she knows that whatever he’s calling about is Serious, hangover be damned. “What’s happened?” she asks, tone soft and as comforting as a hot cup of tea on a cold winter’s night. “Mummy,” he begins, voice catching. “I think John may be moving out.”

On the Steadfast Approach of an Oncoming Darkness by 2bee (T, 7,772 w., 1 Ch. || Apocalypse, Minor Character Death, Sort of Parentlock) – The world is ending. Not fast, but slowly, like falling asleep with a fever.

The Name Game by ItsClydeBitches221B (K, 8,958 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Family, Platonics / Friendship, Sort-of Parentlock, John/Mary, Mary is Nice, Five and Ones, Baby Watson, Mycroft Loves Baby Watson) – The names that baby girl Watson comes up with for her extended family. Or: how everyone—Watsons, Holmes, and others alike— just learned to give up and embrace their weirdness.

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Dropping the Act by jadztone (T, 27,258 w., 10 Ch. || Parentlock, Fake Relationship, Mary’s Family, Post-S4, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Pining, Christmas) – Sherlock and John are quite happy living together with Rosie in Baker St. They might be even happier if they didn’t act towards each other like their love is only platonic. Mycroft brings troubling news in the form of Mary’s parents wanting to know just what their grandchild’s home life is like. The boys decide to spend Christmas pretending like they are in love in order to seem more like a "normal" family. It's easy enough to pretend when all you're doing is dropping the act.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. "You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie's class and you won't have to share a room with a stranger?" "Exactly." Sherlock beamed at him. "Don't worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us."

Where The Ghosts Have Voices by HappyJuicyfruit (M, 37,691 w., 12 Ch. || Supernatural AU || Ghosts, Magical Realism, Light Horror, Fluff and Smut, John Can See Ghosts, John Whump, Emotional Manipulation, Dark Magic, Coma, Injury Recovery, Blow Jobs, Anal, Happy Ending, John’s Past, Mr Holmes, Powerful John, Holmes Brothers, Sherlock’s Past, Past Viclock, Drug Abuse, Hair Pulling) – John has lived his whole life as an outcast. It is only when he meets Sherlock, that be realizes being a freak might not be such a bad thing, and that the curse he has lived with his whole life may be a gift after all. (TO READ)

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton  (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[taehoneys]

Bad Guy | JJK ft. KTH (M)

A certain video circulates the school after your big mistake and you never do mistakes, but you did this time… a big one: J e o n J u n g k o o k

— Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. Taehyung

— Genre: Drama

— AU(s): College!AU Fratboy!AU

— Warnings: Fingering, Oral, choking, all kinds of sex, okay? Oh, and sometimes it's unprotected.

— Word Count: 4.6k

— Note: This is the first actual fic that I will post to Tumblr! I’m nervous/excited. I hope you enjoy it. 

PLAYLIST ♪ | MASTERLIST | ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR

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01; I'm the Bad Guy

Jeon Jungkook.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t heard that name before. Of course you have… The campus was big, but rumors had it that Jeon Jungkook was bigger. Harder, better, faster, stronger weren’t just four words Jungkook was known for saying, they were four words he was praised for delivering. Oh how girls would die to squirm under Jungkook’s touch, to be taken to a place only he could take you, and he knew that. Jungkook knew he had girls at the palm of his hand (which is how he got himself in the palm of theirs).

Every single one of them too. He wanted to give every girl a chance, which is why he never gave anyone a second taste. “What about the others?” He would justify himself, “I have to be fair.” Which is why Jungkook was not only a bad guy, but a bad idea.  Especially if you were going to fall in love that easy, Jeez. I guess it’s just easier for everyone to hope they could be the one to change him. Which explains why many girls flock to his frat parties just for the chance to be plucked from the crowd.

Sex is one hell of a drug. Be careful who you give it to, Jeon. Many would show up, but few were given a special invitation. One meant that you were basically good enough for him and would let you bypass the long line stretching outside the house. The reason it was so long wasn’t just because of the girls, but also because of all the eager (and horny) guys trying to get in to be an unlucky girl’s shoulder to cry on or their drunk one night stand.

But they had to be cautious of their choice.

The Beta Tau Sigma frat house was nicknamed “The Fratican” which fit perfectly because it was run like a total monarchy with Jungkook as the head. On the contrary, there was nothing holy about Jungkook. He only held as much influence as the pope in that house. You see, no one was allowed to ever touch the girls that Jungkook had set his eyes on. It was as serious as being banned permanently from the house and even being kicked out of the brotherhood; After all, bros before hoes (unless, you were Mr. Jeon Jungkook).

So yes, you’ve heard more than enough of Jungkook to decide you didn’t like him at all. Which explains how you ended up with an invite in your hands this morning after your Economics lecture, the course you happened to share with Jungkook.  Every time Jungkook attempted to answer a question and it was wrong, you would immediately correct him from the other side of the room, and Jungkook almost got every question wrong.

“Name one of the explanations for the law of demand.” The teacher directed the question at Jungkook, giving him a chance to redeem himself after the last few failures.

Jungkook tapped his pencil against the desk, indicating he was already pissed off from getting the previous questions wrong.

“Umm, okay…Number of consumers ? More people want a product so demand all moves up?”

Your hand immediately shot up causing Jungkook to drop his pencil, and shut his eyes in annoyance as he bit down hard on his lip.

The teacher smiled your way and gave you permission to explain your answer with a nod.

“That doesn’t explain the law of demand. That’s just one of the shifters of demand. Law of demand is the relationship price has on quantity of demand. So for example, the law of diminishing marginal utility is one of the reasons for the downward curve of demand. As more people get a taste of a product, their satisfaction is sure to diminish. So people will only demand more of the product at a cheaper price.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes at you, catching a bit of what you were trying to tell him.

“Oh I get it now. Kind of like Income effect. You know, where a product is only worth desiring because it’s cheap and easy for the poorer people to get.”

You had a feeling you guys weren’t talking about supply and demand anymore by the way Jungkook kept his eyes narrowed onto you. You just narrowed yours back.

“Well, I’m more than amazed to see two students passionately debating in my class for once. However—to sum things up—Your first answer was wrong Jungkook and Y/N was correct, but I’m glad that she was able to straighten that all out for you. Now remember class assignment 2-4…. ”

With a “hmph” you close your notebook and start to pack up, completely satisfied. All the while, you know Jungkook is staring at you. When you look his way, he’s got his jaw clenched and the grip on his pencil is so tight that the vein on his arm has become prominent.  By the looks of it, If you were any closer, you were sure he’d chuck it at you.

You thought that that the battle zone would only limit itself to the lecture hall, but as soon as everyone started leaving you caught Jungkook throwing himself over the lecture seats until he was in the row you were in, heading your way. You cursed at the long line preventing you from making a quick escape. Just when you were at the exit, Jungkook had made it right to your side.  You held your breath, waiting for him to say something to you, but he didn’t. Instead, he bumped harshly against your shoulder before pushing past you. Seriously?

It wasn’t until you were hanging in the quad with your friends that you received the invite.

Jungkook was across the quad at first. He was crowded among his frat brothers, guys that wanted to be them and girls that wanted to do them. He wasn’t paying attention to them though because his eyes were drilling into yours. You struck a nerve inside him in the lecture hall. Were you trying to get noticed by him? Was that it? No, you clearly didn’t like him. But you didn’t even know him and he never did anything to you. All you knew were whatever rumors circulated around campus about him. So whatever happened to common courtesy?

Pushing past everyone (and earning an eyebrow raise from his best friend, Taehyung), he walked straight your way. Taehyung watched, stretching the gum in his mouth until he was able to blow a bubble. Once it popped, he pushed off the edge of the wall and followed Jungkook over, curious to why he was heading over towards those in Gamma Psi Alpha. Gamma Psi Alpha wasn’t a social fraternity like Beta Tau Sigma. They were a professional co-ed fraternity. Scratch that: They were an elite, professional fraternity.

Jungkook stopped right in front of you and your other friends. Taehyung and the rest lined up beside him. This caused everyone to fall silent as the tension built up with the meeting of the fraternities. Jungkook’s eyes carefully scanned your other friends, reading the three letters on some of their shirts before settling back onto you.

‘Oh, you’re a good girl, aren’t you?“

He threw the invitation to your friend group as a joke. All because you got on his bad side. "Be a little less boring and let loose, why don’t you?” He whispered into your ear hotly before storming away with his posse.  It angered you, entirely.  The way he assumed that you didn’t know how to have fun and that you were this goody two-shoes who followed every rule just because you were a little smart? Or did he assume that any girl that didn’t want him was just as uninteresting as their disinterest for him? Oh, you were going to this party. And you were planning to show him that he was the one beneath you.

So how did you end up beneath him?

Why were you letting him hover over you? Undressing you, button by button? Caressing your sides and gripping your thighs? And what exactly was making the room spin? Was it the alcohol or the way his tongue ran up the side of your ear as his fingers worked their way inside you?

The moans wanted to come out of your mouth, but you wouldn’t let them.  You had to bite down hard on your lip as your hand traveled down to wrap around Jungkook’s wrist, your mind and your body conflicted. He raised an eyebrow at you because for a second he thought you wanted to stop. Yet he didn’t, so he quickly inserted his second digit into you. As he scissored his fingers apart, your grip would loosen more and more.

You hated the way he was looking at you. Head tilted and chin up, but eyes down and dangerous. It was the spark that started the fire inside of you and by the way his lips curled into a cocky grin, he knew that.

His fingers started rubbing your warmth and his mouth watered as his fingers coated with your wetness. “Such a pretty little cunt.” Jungkook panted slightly as his fingers rubbed faster into you, causing you to lift your hips in an attempt to have them deeper into you. You cursed yourself for acting so desperate and so willing. Pressing your lips tightly together, you kept your whines within. The least you could do for yourself was not give him the satisfaction of hearing the way he drove you crazy.

“C'mon give me something.” Jungkook growled, leaning over you slightly as he began to thrust his fingers into you harshly. You gasped loudly and you jerked upright to grab onto his flexed bicep in an attempt to slow him down. It only made him pump faster into you as he challenged you with his eyes.

“J-Jung-” Your breath hitched inside your throat as you drew up your eyes to meet his.

He leaned in close to your face, tilting his head as his nose brushed against yours. “Hmm? What is it, good girl?”

You frowned, but before you could even open your mouth to give him lip, Jungkook’s thumb began to lazily play with your clit as his fingers returned to rub you, making you’re body under his control again.

“F-Fuck!” You fell back onto your back and let out all the moans you’ve kept trapped inside of you. Fuck Jungkook and fuck Jungkook. You were supposed to fuck him up good not fuck him real good.  You reach for the pillow on the bed and cover your face to scream into it because Jungkook was using two hands and he was using them to make a mess out of you.

Jungkook didn’t like that though. He angrily yanked the pillow from your grip and growled, “I want to fucking hear you…because I’m about to make you beg, good girl.”

You rolled your head over, gripping onto the sheets, completely flushed as Jungkook played with you. With each strum of Jungkook’s thumb against your clit, you would buck your hips into the air.

The pleasure was building inside of you and you felt like you couldn’t take it anymore. “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” you chanted as you gripped onto the bed sheets tighter. You felt your muscles tensing and you sat straight up immediately, pulling Jungkook’s face close to yours as you stared at him, flushed and flustered to the core.

His mouth parted and he released an unstable breath as he continued to pump his fingers into you— harder and faster. You were about to kiss him, but chose the safer alternative to bury your face against his neck as you let out one long moan, giving into the pressure and pleasure exploding within you. Until you came back from the clouds, you rode his slender fingers out.

Only then did you realize where exactly you two had stumbled into. You had somehow made it all the way up to his room, not even far enough to cancel out the music or stop the bass from vibrating though the walls. Although, Jungkook had attempted to drown it out with his own music coming from the smart speaker on his nightstand. The only lighting available in the room came from the LED strip bordering his ceiling. It allowed you to see just enough of Jungkook in this moment. This crazy moment.

You slowly opened your eyes, still trying to catch your breath, to see that Jungkook was merely centimeters away. His fringe fell over his eyes and all you could see was his mouth which twitched into a big, tipsy grin. “You’re so fucking sexy.”  He tugged on his bottom lip and tipped his head back before he stopped leaning over you. You’re eyes dropped down to watch his hands, which hooked at the hem of your panties still hanging around your thighs and pulled them down to your ankles. You looked up at Jungkook and he cocked an eyebrow at you, letting you know that up next was your move and your choice.

You kicked them off with your other foot and then looked back at him. Jungkook then wasted no time in pushing you to lay down on your back, letting you then watch as he yanked the shirt over his head, his hair ruffling back down to place after it was completely off. His hands quickly worked at his belt before unbuttoning his jeans and then pulling them down slightly to reveal his bulge.

Just staring at it was enough to tell you the rumors weren’t just rumors. He grabbed your hand and guided it to the hem of his boxers. You nervously bit your lip as you slowly started to tug them down, not ready to confirm the rumors yourself. When you pulled them down far enough, his hard-on sprung out of his boxers, revealing not only that it was ready, but that it was aching.  You weren’t going to lie, You had seen dicks his size before, but his girth outshines them all (or maybe he was just that turned on by you?).

You licked your lips and quickly got on your knees. You pushed all your hair over one shoulder before wrapping your hand around his member. Jungkook let out a long “shiiiit”  at the sight as he pulled down his boxers and pants further, giving you room to make it as sloppy and messy as your heart desired.

You licked your lips before taking him into your mouth, your tongue laying flat as it traveled underneath his penis. You made sure to rub your tongue against him every time you took him out of your mouth. Humming, you let him know you were more than pleased to get a taste of him. Jungkook leaned back on his hands, rolling his head back as you started to let your tongue explore every bit of him, swirling and swirling.

You took a peek up at him and one look was all it took for you to know that the way you were performing fellatio was driving him insane. Jungkook had his bottom lip nipped between his teeth to gate his moans. With every raise of his hips, he inserted himself further into your mouth and you took it.  In fact, you took him even deeper down your throat, finally earning a “F-fuck!” from Jungkook.

Jungkook fell completely on his back, fixing his legs straight out from underneath him where he was able to kick off his jeans completely. Running his hand through his hair, he combed back the waves to get a little cool relief.

This time that you put his dick back into your mouth, you hallow your cheeks and bob your head up and down, moving the foreskin to his pleasure. Jungkook hisses and his hand immediately shoots up to grip your hair tightly. Purring, you let him know how much you enjoy the rough treatment. It gave you confidence to continue; which you do steadily, trying not to mess up the rhythm you have going because all the “Ah"s coming from Jungkook turn you on more.

Jungkook wasn’t afraid to be vocal. He just wanted you to work for the grunts and moans, but now that he let out a few, he just let them all rush out. They came in tiny grunts at first, but as you continued stroking his dick with your mouth, he couldn’t help but let out whines and mewls. It drove you absolutely crazy and you felt wet all over again. With one long hiss, Jungkook pulled you back by your hair, making you look at him.

You ran your tongue across your swollen lips, slowly. It directed his attention to your mouth and he became entranced by it, bringing you up for a closer look. You gladly crawled over him, never breaking the eye contact coming form his sultry eyes. He dropped his gaze back down to your lips, but you didn’t dare move closer to him. Not even when he brushed his nose against yours, his very breath tickling your lips as he picked up his head to bring his own closer.

Yet, he didn’t kiss you and you weren’t going to kiss him either. It was like he wanted you to dive in for the kiss, just so he can cockily reply "no kissing allowed” and he definitely wasn’t going to kiss you first because that would make him seem too compliant. So, instead, he smirked as his lips ghostly brushed against yours, traveling across your cheek until his head abruptly fell back onto the pillow because you had just guided his dick inside of you.

The feeling of fucking finally spread to your core as you sunk down his dick, his dick burrowing further and further, stretching you out as it struggled to entire deep into your warmth. You scrunch up your face as you throb from the pain, afraid to take him too suddenly. “You’re so fucking tight,” Jungkook groans as he throws his head back. You whine slightly, pushing your hips down so his dick can burrow entirely in your warmth. You weren’t a virgin, he was just meaty. The pain quickly fades and you feel flutters inside your stomach, pleased with how full you felt. It caused you to clench a couple times around his cock. The feeling itself good enough to make you forget to move (which a quick slap to the ass from Jungkook’s impatient ass fixed).

“Fuck, it’s soo thick,” You complimented him as you began to glide yourself up and down his glorious length. “How can I take all of it?”

Jungkook’s mouth parted, his hands firmly grabbing your hips to support you as you rode him. “Keep talking like that.” Jungkook ordered, making you recognize that dirty talk was a turn on to him.

You weren’t one for dirty talk, but something about Jungkook made you want to tell him how much you were enjoying him being inside you. “Fuck, It’s sooo good, you’re so good…mm I want you to fuck me good… make me cum aaallll over this good cock,” You moaned the words as you gyrated your hips up and down. Jungkook’s eyes darkened and he slapped your ass, earning a yelp from you.

“Such dirty words coming from such a good girl~”  Jungkook grabs your hips and starts meeting you halfway, rapidly thrusting.

“Oh fuck!” You still so Jungkook can take over momentarily, his hips snapping up against yours as his dick forces deeper and deeper. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You chant, losing air. Jungkook had no intention of slowing down and you didn’t really want him to. He was pounding into you over and over and you were starting to come apart. If he didn’t stop, he was going to break you. Your hands fall onto his chest, needing support from his forceful entries.

“Shit,” He curses as he breathes heavy. The heat was rising between you two so much that Jungkook started to slow down, the sweat on his forehead letting you know he had exhausted himself, so you pick up where he left off.

“Mmm,” You let out satisfied sighs each time you sink back so Jungkook’s dick strikes you center again and again. Leaning more over him, you move your hands to rest on the bed. This allows you to have more control of your ass, bouncing it up and down so much that Jungkook can’t help but wrap his strong arm around your thigh. He sets his hand on your ass and grips onto it so he can pull you into him with each ride.

“You feel so fucking good. Oh, fuck. You’re pussy’s so tight.” Jungkook compliments you and you reward him by gripping onto the headboard so you could bounce on his dick. Bringing down your hips, You smile with pleasure, lolling your head to the side as you land on his dick in the perfect spot. You like this position because it also gives Jungkook a view of himself disappearing inside you. Jungkook grunts, mesmerized with watching how his entire length can’t fit inside you.

Getting a bit tired, you decide to rest your hands back onto the bed, throwing it back to his dick, the bed creaking louder with your fast pace. “Ohhh…” You sigh pleasurably as you continue to work on getting Jungkook to his climax. You didn’t know if he was close or not, but you could care less at this point. Jungkook just felt that fucking good inside of you. So you were more than happy to meet him halfway in his thrusts, this tingling sensation coursing through you. By the way Jungkook’s grip tightened on your ass, you were doing a good job in getting him to orgasm.

“Oh fuck~” Jungkook grinned briefly, eyes closing as he was overcome with bliss. Your continuous sharp inhales were pushing him to the edge and he had to wrap his other arm around you, completely wrapping his arms around your ass so the thrusts were smaller, but remained deeper.

“Be a good girl and don’t cum when I haven’t cum,” Jungkook grunts as he stares up at you, chest heaving. You nod your head and keep moving fast against him, tired but eager to unravel him. He continues to breathe heavy as you keep moving fast against him, your inhales become shorter and shorter apart while his grunts become deeper.

“Just a little more, not yet.” Jungkook growled.

You started to whine, already wanting to find your release before his. “Fuck, I’m going to-” You’re breath hitches and you gasp, clenching around him uncontrollably, vision filling with tiny moving dots.

“Fuck,” He hisses as he helps you ride him out during your orgasm. Just as you gravitated back, Jungkook surprised you by quickly thrusting back into you.  This time, his breathing was getting louder and more intense. Every “fuck” out of his mouth revealing how desperate he was for his own release.

You moan loudly for him. Every thrust grows rougher and desperate, your breasts bouncing for Jungkook’s gratification. He concentrates on how you look: your baby hair curled from the sweat on your forehead, eyes shut, and mouth agape. It’s a beautiful sight for him and it doesn’t take him much before he feels the surge and immediately shouts, “Get off!”

He pulls your hips up and takes his dick out of you to then shoot out ribbons of cum. Every pulse of his cock shoots it out further, accidentally aiming at your face.  Mouth open and tongue out, you attempt to catch some of it and with the help of Jungkook directing his nut into your mouth, you do.

He tilts his head back and grits his teeth as he contains the grunts, until finally he’s done and it’s just you two breathing heavily in the room. You don’t wait long enough for things to get awkward and you quickly get off of him to then sit on the bed. You hear him reach over to his nightstand where he opens the drawer to take out a couple of baby wipes. You mentally roll your eyes because of course he’s prepared. He hands you a couple and you take them to wipe yourself before sitting back on the bed where you tuck your hair behind your ear as you stare at your clothes on the floor. It’s hot, like really hot in the room and you dread putting your clothes back on, but what other choice did you have?

You stand, accidentally stumbling into the nightstand. “Shit,” you mutter as you try to gain enough balance to pick up your clothes from the floor. The whole time, you could feel Jungkook’s eyes on you, but you don’t dare look his way, concentrating on only the task of putting your clothes back on.

“You didn’t kiss me,” Jungkook clicks his tongue. Peaking at him, you see he’s comfortably in bed, hands behind his head with only his boxers put back on.

“Why would I?” You roll your eyes at him as you button up your pants.

“Most girls would try.” Jungkook throws a playful grin your way.

Try. So you were correct in assuming that Jungkook didn’t allow kissing. That wasn’t the only word that caught your attention though. You glide your tongue over your teeth before shrugging his way, “Well, I’m not like most girls. All I wanted was a good fuck and I got it.”

You didn’t mean to default back to being a bitch towards Jungkook, but what he said was just so cocky. By saying “most girls” he basically viewed you as one of his girls. So seeing his face fall after your snarky remark was a bit satisfying. You may have crawled into his bed like the other girls, but you weren’t going to try and get more out of it like the others probably begged to.

Grabbing your keys from the nightstand, you turned to him with a little wave, “So don’t worry. I won’t be making this mistake again, Bad guy.”

His eyebrows twitched, coming together into a frown, and the way he cocked his head told you a confusing thought had entered his mind. Though, before he could say anything else, you left his room, diving back through the crowd until you were completely out of his frat house, vowing to never enter again and do the same mistake, because that’s what Jungkook was—a mistake.

As you walked to your car, you tried to make sense of Jungkook’s expression. Was he actually hurt by what you said? Maybe you were just feeling bad for no reason. After all, it’s Jungkook you were talking about and it was you we were talking about. You two were very different. The fraternities you were in were an example of that. Jungkook cared about blasting his years at college parties and creating a social reputation. You cared about your academic record and your respected reputation. In the end, Jungkook was right. You were nothing more than a good girl.

And you will always be a good girl…

Before opening your car door, you turned to look over your shoulder. You draw up your eyes to the window on the second floor where you catch the shadows of two people behind the curtain. The gentle breeze does you a favor and moves the curtain briefly, enough for you to see the two people wrapped around each other in the room. You roll your eyes and get into your car.

… and you guess Jeon Jungkook will always be a bad guy.

__________________________

Note: Wow, what a chapter! It took me like 4 days to write this, but I hope it was a thick chapter /WINK/ Let me know.

NEXT CHAPTER >

[rataplani]

“Feet of Clay is a fascinating book, and an enthralling script, and I was very excited when invited to direct it. It is a timely play speaking as it does about identity, freedom and truth, all wrapped inside a fun murder mystery.” 

~ Shaun King, Director’s Notes.

Since there’s been a lot of negativity at the moment about a certain adaptation that doesn’t care about its source material, I thought I’d share something more positive. 

So in case there are any Discworld fans in Queensland who don’t know this, there’s this little indie theatre called the Brisbane Arts Theatre that’s been working through all the Discworld books over a number of years now (also atm it’s doing an adaptation of Terry Pratchett’s Dodger).

A few weeks back I went to see their production of Feet of Clay and it was pretty good! (and run in line with QLD Covid policy) As it was weeks ago I don’t remember all the details, but one thing I found pretty hilarious was that for soundtrack moments they generally used music that sounded like they’d gotten it from 80s cop comedies. Also I think they did alright with Cheery’s character arc as basically a transgender woman’s coming out story, though I'm hesitatingly ambivalent about the few moments of Cis Awkward Supportiveness(tm) from other characters on stage (though importantly the laughs were directed at them, not Cheery) and of course there were Carrot’s dwarf culture gender issues for a bit until he got his prejudices sorted out.

Although I knew the plot coming in, it was still fun to watch the mystery unfold, and it was funny how over-the-top blatantly evil Dragon was in his introduction scene just for the drama. Dorfl’s storyline cut out the Dorfl vs All The Priests bit and most of his run through the town, but was still good (and I like the design differences between him and the King Golem you can see in the photo below). Overall it was quite funny and a pretty faithful adaptation; can’t wait until next year.

Adaptation-wise, there were a couple of parts where they were able to use the visual element through a couple of physical comedy jokes (Vetinari: I’m Fine Now *passes out five seconds later*) or using props to point out how Carry’s new crest looks very similar to the Assassin’s Guild crest)

On a meta level, a few characters had their gender changed for cast reasons, including ‘Dr’ (Lord) Downey (played by a lady who I swear could play Susan when they get to her books), Drumknott, and Arthur Carrey (the candle maker), who became Artemis Carry to keep the “Art Brought Forth the Candle” pun intact.

Also not only did the guy who played Carrot played Salzella last year when they did Maskerade, but Vetinari’s actor doubled as Nobby so I got a double serve of mental whiplash there.

Here’s the cast photo! (Due to Covid restrictions a lot of cast members played two or three roles, so not all characters are shown, but I’ve bolded the ones that are)

Cast List left to right (then front row left to right):

Simon Lyell as Dorfl Daniel Baker as King Golem & Detritus Julian Hobson as Dragon King of Arms John Grey as Lord Vetinari & Corporal Nobbs Isobel Smith as Doughnut Jimmy, Mr Slant, & ‘French Maid’ Caitlin Smith as Drumknott, Mildred Easy, & Pardessus (of the College of Heralds) Paul Fear as Gerhardt Sock & Wengel Raddley Lucette Eggleton as Dr Downey, Prebble Skink & Mrs Kanacki Steve Durber as Constable Visit & Mr Boggis Daniel Grey as Commander Vimes Stuart Fisher as Sergeant Colon Alastair Wallace as Father Tubelcek, Mr Hopkinson, & Professor Whiteface Samantha Mclaughlin as (Artemis) Carry Tallulah M. E. Gray as Rosie Palm (and Assistant Director) Amanda Lay as Constable (Cheery) Littlebottom Sasha Barclay as Constable Angua Callum Pulsford as Captain Carrot

[mirinda03]

CONVENTIONAL FAMILY? WHO’S THAT?

<<<Previous Next>>>

Chapter 14: In which Janus is SO done and Remus can’t stop annoying him.

Emile and Remy arrived at the house calmly. Thomas was waiting for them in the doorway and once he saw them, he waved at them. Emile waved back while Remy just rolled his eyes in normal rebellious eight year but waved back.

“Hey dad! Hey Remy” Thomas said once the three members of the family had entered the house.

“Hey Thomas. How was your day?” Emile asked Thomas with a warm smile.

Remy yawned dramatically, feigning boredom for the awfully affectionate family dynamic. Oh how he missed Remus, the pyromaniac kid from his class. At least he was fun.

“Oh same old, same old. I got a ride with Roman’s dad and they drove me here!” Thomas said back, not mentioning Virgil since he didn’t think it was something too important to mention. Virgil had probably been dropped off soon after him in his house any way

(He wasn’t, but good old thomas didn’t know that just yet)

“That’s nice” Emile said with a small nod

Remy groaned

“This is so boringggg” he complained out loud, managing to sound both whiny and dignified some way “Dad, talk about how I burned down the school”

Thomas spluttered

“Wait? You burned down the school? Wasn’t it Virgil’s brother who did that?”

“Who the hell is Virgin?” Came the response

“Remy!” Emile scolded “That’s one for the swear jar”

Remy, the eternal drama queen, sighed loudly. He walked towards the swear jar and grumpily put a dollar there from his allowance (which was always next to the swear jar due to how much he swore)

“Whatever” he grumbled “Anyway, what does this Virgin kid have to do with anything?”

“It’s Virgil, Remy. With an l” Thomas tried explaning

“Whatever whatever, just tell me what does he have to do with anything?”

“Well... i’m sure you know Remus right?” Thomas began

“Of course I do. That kid’s a psycho”

“Remy!” Emile scolded again

Remy pouted

“Psycho isn’t even a swear word” he complained to no one in particular “Anyway, that kid’s something else”

“Yeah yeah. So.. Virgil is his brother and he’s in my class”

“Wait really? Are you friends?” Emile asked in his usual fashion, looking at Thomas while waiting for his answer

“Umm i’m not sure?” Thomas answered

“I mean, are you like Calvin and Hobbes close or more like just acquaintances?” Emile explained as if it made the question easier to answer.

Surprisingly, it did help.

“Umm. I mean, we talk sometimes? He and Roman have like this super heated rivalry thought..”

“They do?” Emile asked curiously

“Yep, they argue all the time and glare at each other for long periods of times. They’re also always giving each other nicknames like ‘prince charming’ and ‘fairest of them all’” Thomas said, recalling all the nicknames the two came up with. It really astounded him how many nicknames they had for the other.

(One time when thomas was over at Roman’s house in a sleepover, he caught Roman writing down nickname ideas on a journal. So at least he knew it wasn’t all in the spit thinking)

“Hmm” Emile mused with one of his knowing looks “Interesting”

Thomas was about to ask him what exactly was ‘interesting’ but was interrupted by none other than Emile.

“Now, let’s have some family bonding time! We can talk more about our days and watch cartoons. What do you kids think?”

Thomas responded affirmatively in the form of a loud whoop. Remy rolled his eyes but didn’t complain when the family went to the couch and started watching Steven Universe Reruns (He had to admit that the constant commentary of his family was kinda endearing)

So overall, they were a normal family watching tv in a normal fashion in their normal home. Completely, utterly normal.

If only the Sanders family was like that

•~•~~•~•~•~••~•~•~•~•~•~

“REMUS I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DONT LET GO OF THAT CAT I WILL GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION”

“NO! TIGER IS M I N E. HE’S MY PROPERTY NOW.”

“HE IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY. HE IS A CAT! WHICH MR HART HERE IS ALLERGIC TO”

“Please, call me Patton. And don’t worry, i took some medicine so Remus can bring the small kitty with us”

Janus turned to glare at the man and said

“Don’t encourage him, Patton”

Meanwhile, Remus gleamed and smugly said

“You know what? I think I like Mr Patton here more than I like you, dad”

This made Patton almost choke on his drink. He turned to Janus, expecting to see the man looking hurt or betrayed. After all, his 8 year old child said he liked his teacher more than him.

To his surprise, that wasn’t the case. Janus looked... unimpressed.

“Well I think I like my sanity more than i like you, Remus. So the tables are even” he deadpanned.

Patton would have continued gawking at the odd interaction if it weren’t for Janus snapping his finger.

“We gotta focus here. Virgil is MIA—“

“What’s MIA?” Remus asked, which reminded both adults that Remus was just an 8 year old despite how older he acted.

Patton was about to cut in to explain but Janus put a hand on his chest to stop Patton and beat him to it.

“MIA is Missing In Action. Which is what you will be if you keep interrupting” Janus said. Weirdly enough, the words didn’t seem threatening.

They sounded... actually kinda endearing to Patton?

Remus responded with a cackle

“Wow, death treats? You’re really running out of insults to say, my dear OLD dad” he said with the smirk of a tiny devil. The words sounded innocent to Patton, who didn’t see Remus’ smirk and still thought the kid was a good boy.

But Janus? Janus wasn’t fooled. His eyes narrowed. He said nothing thought and instead removed his hand from Patton’s chest and turned to have a heated glare contest with his son.

Patton stared between the two helplessly. Were they gonna fight?

It seemed like it.

Especially with how incredibly smug Remus’ smirk looked.

“What’s wrong dad? Am I pissing you off?” He taunted

Patton gasped loudly. Did Remus just swear? Surely that was unacceptable.

He looked around, expecting to see one of the common ‘swear jars’ families had. He found none

He turned to Janus and expected him to be holding the swear jar because surely a dad wouldn’t let his sons curse like that.

Janus for his part, looked calm. Eerily calm.

“Remus. Let go of that godamn cat before i take away your legos” He said calmly, in the most threatening voice Patton had heard him use.

Remus’ eyes widened in fear. But Patton realized it wasn’t fear of his father, but for his.. legos?

This was confusing him to no ends.

“Fine fine. No need to threaten a kid with that” Remus complied, letting Tiger go. He then stage whispered to the cat “Start world domination while i’m gone. I believe in you”

He turned to give Janus an innocent smile

“Let’s go, Father” he said in an exaggeratedly posh voice as he walked towards the car “We got a kidnapper to find”

“A.... kidnapper?” Patton spluttered in confusion “what is.. why would...how... why? Just why?”

Janus shrugged

“This is a weird family, Patton Hart” he said as he too walked outside “You better get used to it”

Patton was not sure he would. But he was sure he would try.

Taglist:

@quietmob

@wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond

@approachcape

@brilewblue

@selenechris

@thespian-that-cries-a-lot

@that-weird-kid-charlie

@angst1is1my1aesthetic

@croftersjam15

@cardigancomics

@someonehelp

@avacado-egg

@pumpkin8686

@misterteaz

@sneaky-slytherin

@sophiexteresa

@pansexualpuppet

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G��I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

[laemony]

What I’ve read in 2020!

Welcome back to this thing I started in 2017 and still don’t know WHY it should matter!

2017  2018  2019

This year has been a shit show but I must admit I’ve read quite a lot (who knew that staying at home with nothing else to do, except watching the world burn, could lead to this?!) Anyway! This is it, enjoy!

WAR AND PEACE, L. TOLSTOY – biggest book I’ve ever read in my life, I don’t know how but it’s never boring, I loved the characters and I adored the historical knowledge; the two subjects mix, when people are at war they miss peace, and when they are at peace they miss and look for war; it’s full of time skips in a very Russian fashion… only thing it bothered me, in my edition at least, all the paragraphs written in French didn’t have a translation, I hope I didn’t lose too many infos lol 8,5/10

PERSUASION, J. AUSTEN – this book! A surprise, a revelation, a discovery! Brilliant! Funny! Lovely! Anne’s expressions of her family are hilarious; one of my favourites so far, even if “lost love who is not as forgotten as you thought they would be” sounds way too much like the story of my life 10/10

THE YEARS, V. WOOLF – it felt lonely, yet lively; a bit hopeless, but not too sad; the chatter, the teasing, is all very familiar, as if she wrote about my own family; simple in its day-to-day life; felt like autumn (if it makes sense????) 8/10

THE DEAD SOULS, N. GOGOL – ridiculous characters, ridiculous conversations, I loved the ironic way it depicts Russian society and its people; the last chapter is a mess, I couldn’t imagine how it could end and to be honest I still have no idea 7,5/10

THE PROCESS, F. KAFKA – no time-line; not a single emotion, not from the characters neither from the author; a cold, indifferent depiction of a series of facts, which are everything but clear; not an inch of silence, just words; it tired me out, I just needed a bit more silence 5/10

THE WHITE GUARD, M. BULGAKOV – I simply love how he writes (wrote??) and his characters are always so unique and interesting; I adore the references to Tolstoy and Dostoevskij; this book has more of a painting than a book; it’s an impressive recount of a fundamental historical moment; the end is not clear but beautiful 9,5/10

THE HANDMAID’S TALE, M. ATWOOD – I thought I wouldn’t have been able to stomach it, and then I found out that there’s a right way to tell a story about violence and she mastered it; cruel people are just that, no craziness, no dark past, just thirst for power and the confidence of knowing what’s best for everyone; it gave me chills, it made me angry; I love how she writes, it’s the first time a first person pov doesn’t make me want to tear my eyes off my face… people who watched the series: do you know what’s the real name of Offred? I need it 10/10

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, J. AUSTEN – as usual, her books must be read in one breath; Jane and Charles’ story is my favourite; I love Mr Bennet as much as I can’t suffer everyone’s sisters (except Miss Darcy of course); it has an amazing mix of characters, I absolutely love the drama that follows Mr Darcy; I honestly expected a more dramatic confession at the end but it was great 9/10

NOTES FROM A DEATH HOUSE, F. DOSTOEVSKY – a bit too auto-biographic for my tastes, but I adored his depiction of a humanity which is often forgotten; it’s very disturbing in its actuality if you stop to think about it; he never tires himself saying that those “criminals” are also and foremost human beings 7,5/10

ASYLUM, P. MCGRATH – the first part is fast-paced, it leaves you breathless and with an anxious need to keep on reading; then it started to be a little more psychological and it kinda bored me; I liked the narrator very much, it was really disturbing 7,5/10

DOCTOR ZIVAGO, B. PASTERNAK – every Russian book I’ve read gave me a glimpse of Russian history and culture, yet they’re all different and I think that’s often underappreciated. Now, this book. This book is, simply put, breath-taking. The landscapes are immense and colourful, the talent of this man is unparalleled; it has a devastating end, it’s a book I’ll probably read over and over again just ‘cause reading it is “such a sweet sorrow” 10/10 (this rec is shorter than what it should have been in my mind, but I’d probably end up talking about this book and only this book so that’s it, it’s called self-control)

EMMA, J. AUSTEN – at first I was annoyed by Emma’s character, but then she proved herself so oblivious it started to become pretty funny; I can’t get over how much people talk in this book, the irony is SO on point, I love it; I probably like it more than Persuasion, because there are so many twists that the ending left me really surprised for once. And let me tell you, Jane Austen is THE BEST at depicting insufferable people 10/10

UNO, NESSUNO, E CENTOMILA, L. PIRANDELLO – look at me, reading Italian literature, world must be ending… to be honest? I don’t remember much of it? And I didn’t take notes as I usually do? I must’ve been bored out of my mind… I’ll give it a 6/10 on trust alone because I know Pirandello is great lol

HIS DARK MATERIALS, P. PULLMAN – finally got to this and it left me pretty confused; the first book is great, I loved the characters and the scenery, but in the other two I felt like too many things were left unexplained and Lyra’s character too lost some of its greatness; the end brought very little clarity, if at all, and of course I hated it with a passion; I don’t think he expressed the maximum potential of the world he built, but I liked it alright 7,5/10

1984, G. ORWELL – saying I was disappointed might be an understatement; I like how it’s written but the story in itself is frustrating, frankly boring, and disappointing, especially the end; you don’t build so much tension just to end it like that! Tho, maybe that’s exactly what he wanted to convey; everything is pretty much hopeless, made me angry 7/10

CARRIE, S. KING – first of his book I’ve ever read, AND I LOVED IT; it’s not a style I like very much, letting us know how it will end since the beginning, but it was great, magnificent, empowering; I don’t know if I’ll ever have the patience to read the others (they’re all so big) but this certainly got me curious 9/10

JACOB’S ROOM, V. WOOLF – confusing, very confusing, more confusing than anything of hers; of course it’s very beautifully written, but I have no idea what happened there 6,5 maybe 7/10?

THE WITCH, S. JACKSON – my personal Halloween challenge begins with this; short, CREEPY, VERY CREEPY, to the point (what point?); absolutely loved it 8/10

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE, S. JACKSON – listen, creepy houses are my jam, they’re the best; my first impression of the characters went like this: they’re all batshit crazy, I love them; it honestly gave me nightmares; I wish I would’ve read it in English tho 8/10

THE ABC MURDERS, A. CHRISTIE – the queen of plot-twists herself, she never disappoints; not my favourite, mind you, but it was great how she built the story of the murderer just to… well, you’ll have to read it 7,5/10

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER, E. A. POE – I love when short stories such as this leave so much space around them to build whatever plot your imagination can come up with; it’s great, even left like it is 8/10

THE PENELOPIAD, M. ATWOOD – whatever guys, this woman has the ability to write the worst things in such a delicate way simply out of this world; I ADORE HER 9/10

THE UNCOMMON READER, A. BENNETT – hilarious from start to finish, kinda frustrating in the way only royal etiquette can be; I love how the Queen relates to others and I adored her inner monologue; the end is brilliant and the whole book (more or less 100 pages) feels like a breath of fresh air 8/10

THEATRE

THE COMEDY OF ERRORS, W. SHAKESPEARE – funny, brilliant, it became one of my favourite comedies (and there aren’t many of them) 8/10

CYMBELINE, W. SHAKESPEARE – nice little thing, with all the ingredients of a tragedy but with a happy ending; for a moment I thought it would end in a King Lear’s way, glad it didn’t 7,5/10

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW, W. SHAKESPEARE – the first of Shakespeare’s plays that I didn’t like at all, and I think the reasons are pretty clear to whoever has read it; it kinda felt “out of character” for him, but maybe I’m just an ignorant 4/10

POETRY and LETTERS

ARIEL, S. PLATH – raw, powerful, sad, everything I expected of it, I also have the best edition ever, she’s great 8/10

POEMS FROM THE MOOR, E. BRONTE – the talent, the power of this woman; I’ll cry the loss of the Gondal’s saga for the rest of my life 8/10

LETTERS TO A YOUNG POET, R. M. RILKE – amazing, the thins this man could write even in such a trivial thing as a letter, I love him 10/10

MARINA CVETAEVA – I must admit, I like her prose better than her poetry; her letters are heart breaking yet so full of enthusiasm you can’t help but feel for her; also, she loves Boris as much as I do, her letters to him are my favourite thing in the world 9/10

BORIS PASTERNAK – this man was the best present this year could give me, do yourself a favour and go read him 10/10

SPECIAL MENTION: THE SECRET HISTORY, D. TARTT – I may have a problem with her books, but I’ve started this in January and never got the patience to finish it; chapters WAY too long, characters that are so insufferable they can’t be real; pretentious, boring… I can’t give it a rating because I didn’t finish it and I’m not a monster, but the bar is very low

This is it I guess! I hope I gave you a little bit of entertainment, this is something I usually do for myself but I’m glad to share with you every year. I wish you a better end of 2020 than the whole, stay strong and stay safe!  A virtual hug to everyone 💚💚💚 

[wwoodaengie]

hello luv m back again w my random music of the day/night. So for 2day, our star is my boi henry! ✨ this song is from while u were sleeping aka one of d best k drama i've watched lmao.

ANYW.

Since its erwin smith missing hours (lmao i miss him 24/7) come pick dis I D E A. 😎 y'all know this is angsty.

- spoilers (kinda) -

Anyw u remember when he got jailed and he was having a convo w nile and erwin kinda asked abt marie then u know erwin asked how is y/n doing. Apparently erwin smith fawking sent u to d military police coz eh wants to keep u safe BUT ofcOurse, y/n does not know itttt so when she heard erwin asked abt marie bitch ran away (lol dumb) then nile not kNoWiNg d reason why asked Y O U to bring him food. And when you placed d food tray infront of him he looks at u with sad begging eyes that lowkey says 'come look at me pls' and of course ur dumb and mad coz u were literally transferred to d military police against ur WILL. Okay so u dont bother to look at him and he asks u to remove d chains coz mah boi has one arm only. And when u removed it u were like "its always her is it?" And u left.

FAST FORWARD.

erwin smith was having his speech for the mission on how to divert d attention of the beast titan (iykyk) and in the middle of it u fawking appear and locked eyes.

Now idk whats gonne happen there but here is where it ends.

Y'all remember the iconic dialogue before he dword? Okay so before he said that he locks eyes with u while both of u are riding d horse and ofcourse u being a GoOD soldier was able to see d ROCK and ofcourse u shielded d urself and ur horse and u die.

Anddd mr u know erwin smith badly injured crawls his way to your dword body and whispers "i was gonna come get u back".

Okay, bye.

Pick this up i dont wanna ruin the pain i felt when i imagined this while listening to this song. ❤ is this considered as hc hhahahahahah lmao bye

[tblpress]

The day before James Spader won an Emmy for his portrayal of Alan Shore, the morally dubious lawyer on “The Practice,” the actor was at the Franklin D. Murphy Sculpture Garden at UCLA, admiring the statues -- especially the female forms. “Look at the beautiful curve of her back, right at the base of her spine,” he said, noticing a dancer at the top of Robert Graham’s “Dance Columns.” “It’s the most perfect curve in nature.” Then Spader felt a breeze and started ambling in the other direction. “I just want to walk into it,” he explained. “Oh, my God, that is nice.”

The sculpture garden, a favorite hideaway of Spader’s, brought out in him a charming mix of formality and earthiness. When Gaston Lachaise’s bronze powerhouse “Standing Woman” caught his eye, the memories rushed out. “My sons, when they were growing up, always enjoyed her rather ample” -- here he used a word not proper for this newspaper but that means “derriere” -- “and her rather ample breasts,” he said. The boys, Sebastian, now 15, and Ellijah, 12, would come here with their scooters. “So you come around,” Spader explained, “and lo and behold, you have that beautiful” -- that word again -- “over there. You can hardly resist scootering by and giving her a poke. She has nice calves too. She’s ample everywhere. She’s spectacular.”

James Spader, network TV star: To anyone familiar with the 44-year-old actor and his work, it sounds almost absurd. With the outre air of highbrow naughtiness and deep but slightly distracted intelligence he’s been known for since his 1989 big-screen breakthrough in “sex, lies, and videotape,” Spader could hardly have cooked up a more improbable career move. And yet starting tonight on “Boston Legal,” the new David E. Kelley show spun off from “The Practice,” TV viewers will get a weekly taste of the actor who has specialized in finding an endearing human side to wealthy school bullies, creepy cocaine dealers and sensuous sadomasochists.

Spader headed toward a section of the UCLA campus blanketed by California sycamores that he and his sons, he said, often climb and swing from. “See that?” he asked, pushing a branch down. “This is a perfect perching spot. I’d do it more aggressively, but there’s people around and it makes them nervous.”

Making people nervous is, of course, a Spader trademark.

“When we first went to the network about James, they shrieked in horror,” Kelley said. “James Spader is not a network face. They didn’t think he was the kind of persona American audiences would want to welcome into the living room on a weekly basis. But once we began to focus on him, he was the only choice. What James does so well is there’s a nucleus to this character that is humane and decent. He manages to let that nucleus shine through even when he’s committing egregious, contemptible acts. You don’t know if you like him or not, but you can’t wait to see him next.”

Kelley hired Spader to play the brilliant agitator whose dirty ways forced the firm of Young, Frutt and Berluti on “The Practice” to close its doors last year, after ABC slashed the show’s budget, forcing Kelley to fire half his cast. Spader, whose most recent television appearance had been a guest spot on “Seinfeld” in 1997, was supposed to play Alan Shore only long enough to shake things up.

“The goal in the beginning was to bring new life to the show, and the luxury we had as storytellers was that we didn’t have to protect the character for the sake of a long series run,” Kelley said. “You can only do so many things with a character that are overtly unlikable and still keep him redeeming and a character that people want to tune into and cheer for. Since we didn’t have that burden, we could swing away with him.”

The high-end firm of Crane, Poole and Schmidt might prove a better fit for Shore, who will be surrounded by other conniving legal eagles, including William Shatner as his boss, Denny Crane, and colleagues played by a cast including Rhona Mitra, Lake Bell, Monica Potter and Mark Valley. Alan Shore, Kelley promised, will “defy this law firm as he defies the conventions of regular characters on television.”

“When we watch James, there’s a lot of unknown complicated stuff in his mind, but we don’t know what that stuff is,” said Steve Shainberg, who directed Spader in “Secretary” (2002). “There’s something very unusual about him we can’t put our finger on, but that makes it more intriguing and exciting -- God help us.”

Yet for all the unpredictability that comes across on screen, Spader’s “Boston Legal” co-stars described him as meticulous, exact and particular on set.

“He’s always looking for the truth of the moment, and he gets fidgety when it’s not there,” said Shatner, who won a guest actor Emmy for his portrayal of Crane on “The Practice.” “He becomes as recalcitrant as a donkey until he can find the right way to deliver a line. He never says a word that doesn’t seem to come from the organic character. That’s because James himself is a little weird. But we love him for it.”

The Un-Brat Pack career

Two days after Spader nabbed the top acting award for a drama series, beating out television heavy hitters James Gandolfini, Martin Sheen, Kiefer Sutherland and Anthony LaPaglia, he was on the “Boston Legal” set at Raleigh Studios in Manhattan Beach. Three episodes of the show were being shot simultaneously, and he had found no time yet to contemplate his win. The Emmy, he said, was tucked away in a corner full of boxes as Spader, who recently separated from his wife, Victoria, waited to move into a new house.

“I was surprised at how quickly I lost the feeling of stunned confusion and ignorant bliss and how quickly it turned into work and pragmatism,” Spader said. “The award doesn’t mean anything to me -- and I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense. I just haven’t had time to go there yet. Even when my older son called to congratulate me, we moved rather swiftly on to the subject of an upcoming concert” -- the Pixies at the Greek Theatre -- “and the best way to score tickets, which is a much more constructive conversation for us.”

Like other actors who started taking shape in the ‘80s, Spader could easily have cultivated a Brat Pack aura. Instead, he went for a more original brand of alienation, playing seemingly WASPY characters with a devious air and an anti-WASPY erotic charge to them. The roles he took in movies such as “White Palace” (1990), “The Music of Chance” (1993), “Stargate” (1994) and “Crash” (1996) didn’t always hit big but always set him apart -- none more so than “Secretary,” in which Spader played E. Edward Grey, a lawyer who draws his self-mutilating young secretary into a joyful S&M; relationship.

“James is very formal and specific and respectful,” said Maggie Gyllenhaal, his costar. “I remember when we shot a five-page scene in which Mr. Grey asks me not to cut myself anymore, James noticed and responded to everything I did: every breath I took, every shift of my gaze, every movement of my hand. His work is very specific.”

And that, according to Camryn Manheim, who starred on “The Practice” for eight years, can be intimidating. “After you saw ‘Secretary,’ wouldn’t you be scared to go on a date with him?” Manheim said, laughing.

“I was scared of him,” she added. “He’s weird and strange and eccentric, and I mean a lot of that in the very best way. He plays all of these sexually charged characters. He looks at you too hard, like he’s got your number. But behind all of that, he’s a very simple man who is very thoughtful and insightful about the world and humanity.”

Confronted with the praise of his colleagues, Spader took a deep breath and looked skeptical. “Maybe this thing they are describing is just obsessive-compulsive. It just seems to be what the job is, to just try and get the right intention of whatever ... you’re saying. Who is to say if whether what you end up tumbling toward is the right place when you’re standing on your feet in the middle of it? I’ve had a lot of fun acting, and that’s been the only reason to continue doing it.”

Spader, who dropped out of the 11th grade to pursue acting in New York, attributes his interest in acting to the love of storytelling he inherited from his family. The son of teachers Todd and Jean Spader, the actor grew up with two sisters on the campus of Phillips Academy, a fancy Massachusetts prep school. “My father was an English teacher and he taught literature and poetry, and my parents would read aloud and my grandparents read aloud,” Spader said. “My grandfather would write stories and we would make up little plays to read and perform during the holidays. There was always a tremendous amount of humor in all the households I spent time in.”

But there were other reasons for wanting to become an actor. “I started doing theater when I started thinking of nothing but girls,” he said. “I can’t imagine that the two don’t relate. I don’t mean to be glib. In sports and in many other areas, girls and boys are separated. But in theater, you’re all mixed in together. How can it get any better than that?”

Being an actor, for Spader, has never been about celebrity. The press tent for interviews with winners at the Emmys came as a surprise and an “indignity,” he said jokingly. When someone at the Governors Ball on Emmy night remarked how rare it is that Spader has succeeded at being famous and simultaneously living a private life, the actor was incredulous.

“I don’t try to be mysterious,” Spader explained later. “I just protect my private life very carefully. I don’t go out a great deal. To see and be seen I could care less about. I don’t go to see movies at big premieres. If I go out, I go to a quiet place for a meal or I might go to listen to live music with a whole lot of people who are more interested in listening to the music than who is sitting next to them at the show.”

His new TV world

Spader may be on his way to television stardom, but he has never followed a television show from beginning to end -- the way he hopes viewers of “Boston Legal” will.

“That’s something I had no concept of,” Spader said. “Working on the show, I was experiencing the same anticipation for what was going to happen from week to week as the people who were watching it. When you do a film, you know what is going to happen to your character from start to finish. I knew very little about Alan Shore at the end of last season, and I still don’t. I like that constant shift because what I like the most about all of this is the telling of the story.”

What he likes the least is the fuss. He refused to hire a stylist for Emmy night, picking out his tuxedo and shoes himself. He did not prepare a speech. When his name was announced, Spader charmed the crowd by complimenting the women in the room: “You’ve all made wonderful choices in shoes and dresses tonight, and you all look absolutely beautiful.”

“I realized I was going to have to put together some sentences quickly and I wasn’t going to be yet another person to make a music joke,” Spader said. “It worked so well when the gentleman from ‘Arrested Development’ made the singing reference, but I knew that that couldn’t be used again, and certainly not by me. I really don’t have any idea what ... I was saying. Certainly, during the course of the four hours that I was there I had spent enough time admiring women’s shoes and dresses and how well they filled them.”

But as offhand as he may be about that trophy, it’s fitting somehow that Spader will be in the rare position of starting his new gig already having won an Emmy for the role. To his surprise as much as anyone’s, the TV gods have smiled on him. “Does anybody have any illusions about the fact that the Emmys come at the beginning of the television season? The timing seems precise to me,” he said. “And I think it’s grand.”

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Do you have any fanficions that are very science-y, if that makes any sense? Like, focused on scientific things, in the writing style or actual experiments incorporated into the story itself? I hope I'm making sense

Hi Nonny!

Ahhh yeah, though a lot of the fics I read have it deep in the fic, lol. BUT!!!! Guess what?? Your ask is the lucky one that spawns a new list I’ve been waiting forever to post the next part for a tonne of new fics, LOL!

As always, gang, if you have a fic more tuned to what Nonny is ACTUALLY looking for, please add them here, LOL. Pt. 1 will have a lot more of what you’re looking for Nonny, since there’s a lot of my FFNet recs on that one, but both lists have great recs!! <3

IT’S AN EXPERIMENT! Pt. 3

See also:

It’s An Experiment!

It’s An Experiment! (Pt. 2)

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?" Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It's because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

Undercurrents by entanglednow (E, 2,996 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Disturbing Things, Crime Scene Fetish, Pseudo-Necrophilia, PWP, Masturbation) – “There, that's it, perfect, shut your eyes and don't move - and don't speak."

John's Missing Wednesday by PipMer (K+, 2,999 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Pre-TSo3, Non-Con Drugged John, Friendship, Experiment) –  "Now John I'd poison. ... Sloppy eater – dead easy. I've given him chemicals and compounds that way, he's never even noticed. He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue." – The Sign of Three. This is the story of that missing Wednesday.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock's kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Experiment by Gwen's Blue Box (K+, 4,222 w., 3 Ch. || Non-Con Drugging, Hurt Comfort, Friendship) – Of course John has always known about his flatmate’s irregular sleeping habits, especially when they’re on a case. This time, however, the case is taking longer and longer, and soon John starts to worry. But there’s not much he can do, is there? Because drugging Sherlock isn’t an option. Not yet, maybe, but will it be soon? {{CW: John drugs Sherlock without his consent}}

Survival Strategies for the Domesticated British Butthole by Atiki (E, 6,183 w., 1 Ch. || Crack, Rimming, Anal Sex, Iced Lolly, Hair Removal, Depilation) – In which there’s a rimming disaster, Sherlock depilates his butt, everything goes very, very wrong and groceries are mistreated. This fic contains hair removal creme in a butthole, ice lollies in a butthole and John Watson's penis in a butthole. You have been warned.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Time on my hands by Mildredandbobbin (M, 7,179 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S3, One Night Stands, Mutual Pining, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Sexual Exploration / Discovery, Desperation, Body Worship) – Virginity’s a construct, a concept—what does losing one’s virginity entail for a gay man anyway? Sherlock wants to fill that particular gap in his knowledge but John won’t, can’t, never will assist and there’s only so much desperately unspoken pining even Sherlock can take.

Speak My Language by Itsallfine (T, 7,479 w., 4 Ch. || Thanksgiving, Love Languages, Love Confessions, First Kiss, John Experiments in Sherlock) – When Mrs. Hudson introduces John and Sherlock to the concept of the five love languages, Sherlock descends into a dark mood and John’s curiosity gets the better of him. What is Sherlock’s love language, and why does the whole concept set him so on edge? Part 1 of A Holiday Triptych

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock's study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn't entirely mind.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of "Fucking Baked Goods" - Sherlock BBC

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.