#and ofc i subject them to pain and misery

[gomzdrawfr]

anyways, thoughts with my OCs

[blahkugo]

Omakase

Pairing: Shouto Todoroki x Reader 

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: 18+, smut, slight overstim, all characters are aged up, ofc. 

A/N: Happy birthday to the woman that literally birthed my blog, the writer of the best fics I’ve ever read-- *cough Notice, Seven Minutes, Of Love and Lemons, etc.*-- @lookslikeleese​. It’s 5 am right now and my brain cannot come up with the proper words, but just know I love you so much. Thank you for creating our entire friend group. I LOVE YOU. 

omakase (noun): 

(in a Japanese restaurant) a meal consisting of dishes selected by the chef; chef’s choice. 

Thirty minutes into supper with the Todorokis, you think your heart may actually stop beating. It’s not the awkward silence, nor the snowstorm of icy glares traveling across the table. You’ve long since made your peace with the scents of charred leather couches and melted silverware that linger in your hair whenever one of the men gets riled up. 

No, it’s an issue far more pressing than the typical family drama, a matter that needs to be resolved with stealth— immediately. 

It’s Shouto’s fingers, darting into his pocket and pressing a single button. It’s your heels digging into the cool tile beneath you. It’s every nerve standing on end, every passing second sending a wave of heat to your core. Your knuckles blanche, gripping the oak table with such ferocity that it may just snap, and your thighs shake, overwhelmed.

The issue is that there’s a little pink vibrator pressing against your clit and the bi-colored bastard chews his food as though this night is no different than any other. 

It doesn’t matter that the toy’s been placed at the lowest setting all night, doesn’t matter that your fingernails relieve a bit of the pressure every time you dig them into your exposed thighs. The only thought crossing your mind is your impending orgasm. How are you supposed to stifle euphoric pleasure when you’re barely able to hold it together now? 

“So, how’s that new job going?” Enji asks more out of courtesy than interest. While you typically humor his attempts at placid conversation, you’re too troubled to speak to the stoic man in front of you. What if your juices seep through your soaked panties right onto the chair? 

“It’s— ah- it’s really good.” 

And this has been your entire night thus far. Feeble efforts to remain coherent, whines and gasps hidden behind awkward coughs— anything and everything you can possibly do to maintain your dignity in the presence of your boyfriend’s father. 

“What was that funny story you were telling me earlier today?” Shouto doesn’t miss a beat, sending a quick slant your way before stuffing another bite of rice into his mouth. He knows precisely what he’s doing, can feel the pointed daggers you dig into the side of his head, but his relaxed smile reveals nothing to the three pairs of eyes gazing intently at you, awaiting your response.

“Oh, Mt. Lady, she— oh my god,” As soon as you begin speaking, he cranks the toy up to a new level. Though it’s only for a second, the sound that leaves your body is inhuman, a mortifying cross between a sob and a choke that has your palm slamming onto the table fiercely.

All at once, the table is bustling with concern for your safety. To their naive eyes, it seems you choked on a bite of food, and Fuyumi hurries to grab you a glass of water. Shouto simply remains seated, a slick grin plastered across his face at the sight of your heated cheeks and teary eyes. What the fuck could have possessed you to agree to this in the first place? 

“I-I’m okay,” you mumble out, embarrassment shaking you far worse than any sex toy ever could. And that fact— the way your eyebrows knead together in discomfort as you squirm in your seat— is precisely what Shouto wants. You’re no stranger to humiliation, no stranger to the tugging deep in your gut or the heated flush that darts onto your mattress and makes its home on your cheeks.

But this? This type of shame is foreign; it makes your head spin and refuses to waver no matter how much you silently gripe and plead. “Honestly, I feel a bit—” another pulse, another pained gasp from you, “ill.” The words barely make their way out before you’re gritting your teeth, thighs pressing together so tightly they may leave pretty purple marks. 

“Maybe I should take her upstairs,” Shouto sighs, faux apology slipping through his mouth with ease. When did the fucker get so good at lying? 

And then he’s helping you up from your seat, rubbing tender circles into your back, like any good boyfriend would. But every graze is unbearable, sends a tidal wave of warmth rushing through your core. The most innocent of touches has become obscene, twisted in a way only you and the cool man next to you are able to acknowledge. 

As you climb the stairs with shaky legs, you can only pray that the rest of the family doesn’t notice the slick juices trailing down your thighs. 

—

“Who knew dinner and a show could be so entertaining?” He teases, just barely dodging the fist you throw half-heartedly at his shoulder. His supple lips are glued into a smirk, one that probably won’t drop until the night is long over. 

“Please– I-” you attempt to stifle your moans, but in the comfort of his childhood bedroom you find yourself slipping into a high-pitched whine. “Turn it off.” He seems to debate the plea internally, slender fingers brushing over the buttons until you grip harshly at his bicep. You’ve endured enough misery to last you months. 

When he finally switches it off, you feel your entire body slacken and relief wash over you; however, it does nothing for the throbbing in your clit or the pool of desire still brimming in your core. What you crave is his touch, the warmth that pokes and prods at your every muscle, loosening each nerve until you’re a babbling mess— wholly at the mercy of his lithe fingers. 

“Shou,” you mewl, voice dripping with desperation. His eyes widen for a quick second, brows raised and shocked by your blatant come-on with his family only a level down. “I need you.” 

Those three simple words have him springing into action, shoving you against the mattress. Pinning you beneath him with ease, he hikes your skirt up to your hips before running a slender digit against your clothed slit. 

“You made a mess,” his words carry no weight, only amazement at the juices flowing freely through the thin panties and down your thighs. “Probably made a mess all over your chair too.” 

With that comment, your shame is back with a vengeance, tinging the tips of your ears and causing you to cry out. Before Shouto, you’d have never thought this sort of depraved commentary could have you shaking. Hell, you’re not sure he even knew what he was doing to you at first; ever oblivious, Shouto simply speaks his mind. 

Only when he noticed the effect of his words, did he begin using those passing observations against you. Now, he lives for your reactions, spurs you on if only to see how far a gruff remark can push you— and typically, your limit is reached in wanton sobs and bright red scratch marks down his back. 

He doesn’t bother with removing the lace panties, only tugs them to the side so he can brush his fingers against your naked slit. When he pushes a thumb against your clit, you can’t help the loud cry that escapes you. “Bite,” he offers up his wrist so that your moans don’t carry through the thin walls. 

Your teeth sink into his flesh, eliciting a sharp breath at the sudden pain. And he enjoys that part too— the lengths you’ll go to achieve pleasure, the stinging reminders of your desire. “Stay quiet for me, yeah?” He tests a finger, then two, knuckles deep in your doughy walls as you writhe on the bed. “Good girl.” 

“Mmph,” you feel your eyes roll back at the soft praise, thighs tensing as he begins to pump his digits in and out. “Faster, ah– please.” Your moans are muffled against his arm, but he complies nonetheless, fingers curling and hitting the spot that drums against your heartbeat, that rattles through your brain.

The second he brings his lips to your clit, you feel the coil in your stomach about to snap. Hair slick with sweat, your hands roam through his own wet strands, gripping and tugging him closer, closer, closer. He suckles hungrily, his last meal long forgotten as he pushes you further over the edge. 

All at once, you see stars. You’re unsure whether you’re keeping quiet like he asked or sobbing loudly, the tidal wave of pleasure consumes you whole, stomach going taut and twisting as he allows you to ride out your orgasm. With the toy slowly edging you all night, this bliss feels fully merited— is exactly what you deserve after being subjected to his teasing for so long. 

Shouto only lets up when your entire body has gone slack and you push his head away. Bringing his fingers up to your supple lips, he watches hungrily as you slurp at your own slick. 

His eyes are the darkest you’ve ever seen them, pooling with eagerness and a longing for more; he brings a thumb to his chin to wipe at your juices— licks a long stripe up the digit to fully savor you. The image is immodest at the least, animalistic at most.

It reignites your own thirst immediately. 

Though you’re exhausted, core spasming from overuse, you find yourself tugging at his waistband, pulling him close so he can sheath himself inside you in one fell thrust. 

“Fuck,” his voice is husky, groan stifled in the nook of your shoulder. “Still so fucking tight for me.” The only sounds that fill the air are your joint moans, the squeaky springs of the mattress, and the headboard clanging against the wall— sweat soaked skin as his hips snap against you. 

“Ah— please, please, please,” it seems to be the only phrase that falls from your loose lips. Every jerk sends shocks across your damp flesh, vision going foggy as he sends your brain spinning. Once again, you teeter at the edge, so close. Your legs wrap across his back, digging into the globes of his ass to pull him impossibly closer. 

“What do you want?” He grunts into your jaw, peppering wet kisses down your neck and across your chest. It may leave a mark or two, but it’s something to worry about later. 

“I–”At this point, you’re just a teary, blubbering mess, “please, Shou– need your cum.” You manage the words, knowing exactly what effect they have. His movements quicken, pace faltering as he chases his own high. 

And then, you’re both seeing stars. With one final shudder, his cock twitches, and then he’s spilling into you. Your groans intertwine, his a loud sigh of your name, you sobbing helplessly. 

Once he finally stills, he collapses on top of you, both of your chests heaving. His fingers smooth at your matted hair, whispers of ‘so good for me’ and ‘fuck, baby’ into the shell of your ear as he allows your body— still trembling uncontrollably— time to regain composure.  

Now you remember why you agreed to this little game of his.

–

“I hope you feel better,” Fuyumi hugs you goodbye, though your eyes are glazed over in post-coital bliss. Her gaze doesn’t quite meet your own, anyways. But they couldn’t have heard; you were quiet. Weren’t you? 

As you stumble into the passenger side of Shouto’s pristine Model S, you catch the gruff comment Enji murmurs to Shouto, 

“You two could stand to be a bit less obvious next time.” 

[debbiechanclub]

Best Two Out of Three, Part 15

Alright friends. Shit’s about to get real.

Some notes/warnings before this part. @what-does-mine-say and I have decided to lean into everything going on with Hangman in AEW right now, because frankly, it works perfectly with our plot - and I go pretty hard into here. Also, this part marks the start of a slippery slope for Alex and she probably won’t make the best decisions. But she’s in a really tough spot, okay? *cries*

Enjoy...?

Best Two Out of Three

Part: 15/26

Pairing: Kenny Omega x OFC x Cash Wheeler and Adam Page x OFC

Warnings: ANGST, some language

Word Count: 4k

Catch up on previous parts here.

“Is that a hickey?”

Alex slapped a hand to her neck, her entire face burning bright red at the wide-eyed look on Britt’s face. “Jesus, Britt,” she glared as she stood from her seat in hair and makeup. “Just put me on blast.”

“Um, it’s right there for everyone to see,” she returned. “What, you didn’t want them to cover it up?”

Alex just gave her a look as she pulled her hair over to the left side of her neck, concealing the love bite from view. To be honest, she’d forgotten it was there. When she’d told Cash to make her his last night, he’d taken it a bit literally. Not that she’d minded; he’d left his mark elsewhere, too. Britt just couldn’t see it.

“Leave her alone,” Callie defended as she sat for her makeup. “Alex and Cash are in looooveee.”

Alex froze at her sing-song teasing. “Stop,” she muttered as she leaned against the wall and looked down at her phone, busying herself with Twitter. The last thing she wanted to think about right now was the “L” word.

“What?” Callie innocently asked. “I’m happy for you! I miss the days when Adam and I couldn’t keep our hands off each other.”

“Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?” Britt asked.

Alex and Callie both shot her a look for that one. “No,” Callie returned. “He’s just been… I don’t know. Distracted the last few weeks.”

“Well that fight last night between his tag partner and his new BFF probably didn’t help,” Britt remarked. “I can’t wait to see how he and Kenny manage to defend their titles after that.”

Alex and Callie exchanged a silent glance. Somehow, word had gotten around about Kenny and Cash’s fist fight at the hotel bar the night before; and Alex just knew everyone assumed it was about her. She’d felt it in the judgmental eyes and whispers that had followed her all day. It was enough to send a person into hiding.

“They’ll be fine,” Callie insisted with a roll of her eyes. But it seemed like she was trying to convince herself more than Britt. She nudged her chin at Alex in effort to change the subject. “Don’t Best Friends have a match tonight?”

“Yeah,” Alex confirmed. “Them and Jurassic Express versus the Inner Circle. Actually, I should probably head up to Gorilla; we’re on first.”

She pushed herself from the wall; but she didn’t go anywhere. Her eyes had connected with Matt Jackson’s as he rounded the corner—and he was making a beeline right for her.

“Can I talk you?” he asked. No, not asked—told. It caught Alex completely off-guard.

“Yeah…” she hesitantly returned. “Sure.”

He didn’t even wait for her to finish speaking before he turned and marched back down the hall from where he’d come, giving her no choice but to follow. She shot Callie an annoyed look before hurrying after him. There was only one reason Matt would want to talk to her, and his named rhymed with “Lenny.”

He led her around another corner and down a deserted hallway, making sure they were well out of earshot of anyone. He didn’t waste any time. “Alright, I’m just gonna cut to the chase,” he said as he whirled around to face her. “You need to put Kenny out of his misery.”

Alex’s brow lowered. “Excuse me?”

Matt let out a huff and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. It seemed like he’d decided to have this confrontation on a whim and didn’t really have his thoughts in order. “He’s in love with you, Alex,” he said. “I know you know that; he told me and Nick about what happened last week. And after what happened last night, I’m sure you also know that he’s still holding onto hope that you two have a chance. So please… just tell him it’s over so he can move on.”

Alex stood there in front of him like a deer in headlights. She hadn’t expected him to say that; not any of it. And she certainly hadn’t expected the hollow way it made her feel.

“Oh my God,” Matt let out another breath as he ran a hand over his face. “Is there still a chance?”

“What?” she returned. “I’m with Cash, Matt.”

“Are you sure? Because you didn’t look sure a second ago.”

Alex bit down on her jaw. She didn’t need this from Matt Jackson, of all people. “Well, thanks for this little judgment detour, but I have a match I need to get to.”

She turned to leave—but then Matt said something that made her stop. “He was planning on making it up to you, you know.”

She looked back at him, more confused than anything. “What?”

Matt put his hands on his hips. It almost looked like he regretted opening his mouth, but it was too late now. He had to tell her. “Kenny felt terrible about that night he didn’t get back to the hotel room until one in the morning,” he said. “And then on top of it he was busy that entire weekend… he told me he could barely talk to you because he was so upset with himself. So he planned out a whole night to make it up to you the next week. He made reservations at some fancy restaurant; I think he bought you something, I don’t know. He wanted it to be a surprise. But then the very day he was gonna do all that, you told him you had feelings for Cash.”

With every word that came out of Matt’s mouth, Alex’s heart sunk deeper and deeper into the pit of her stomach. She felt sick. If what Matt said was true, then it cast that weekend nearly two months ago in a whole new terrible light. While she’d been cuddling in front of a fire with Cash, telling him she didn’t know what she and Kenny were, asking him to share a bed with her, Kenny had been thinking only of her. She’d thought he’d just been too busy to make time for her, when in reality he’d been planning to prove to her how much he cared; how much he wanted to change for her, just like he’d said. And she hadn’t given him a chance to prove it. She’d shot his chance dead in the water. She was absolutely disgusted with herself.

Matt’s voice cut through her thoughts. “I’m sorry. But I had to tell you because I know Kenny won’t.”

Alex didn’t say anything in response. She didn’t even look at Matt before she turned on her heel and left, walking swiftly through the halls to Gorilla, in a daze. Everyone else booked for the tag match was already there when she arrived, milling around, waiting for the show to get underway. Trent spotted her the same time she did him. “There you are,” he said. “Did you get lo—”

He didn’t finish his sentence. Alex had walked right up to him, wrapped her arms around his middle, and hugged herself tight against his chest.

Everyone around turned to look. Trent went stiff, unsure what to do. “Okay, Alex,” he said. “I’m a little confused, but I’m not gonna stop it if this is what you want.”

“Trent,” she breathed. “Please. I just need a hug from my friend right now.”

He must have heard the emotion in her voice, because she felt him relax after she said that. He wrapped his arms around her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” she said.

There was a thoughtful pause. “Are you good to come out there with us?”

She didn’t answer right away. “I think so,” she decided.

“What the hell is this?” Alex suddenly heard Chuck proclaim. “I know you’re not leaving me out of a Best Friends hug right now.”

She felt Trent pick up one of his arms and make a motion as if he was cutting his hand across his throat, signaling to Chuck that now wasn’t the time for jokes. There was another pause. And then Chuck asked, “Are you okay, Alex?”

No, she thought. But she said, “I just need a minute.”

Trent rested his chin on top of her head. And then she heard James say, “Who do we have to murder?”

Me, Alex thought. But before she could say anything, Best Friends’ music started up.

Trent pulled back and looked down at her. “Are you sure you’re good?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” He squeezed her shoulders and nodded toward the entrance to the babyface tunnel. “Well let’s go, then. We have some Inner Circle ass to beat.”

They all made their way to the tunnel. Chuck wrapped an arm around Alex’s shoulders as they walked. “Would it make you feel better if I held Sammy down so you could hit him?”

She let out a small laugh. “Probably.”

He nodded. “Well then one knuckle sandwich coming right up.”

They disappeared into the tunnel. Alex took a deep breath and followed Trent, Orange, and Chuck out onto the stage, plastering on her game face. She didn’t have to worry about crying. She was far too numb.

* * * * * * * * * *

The silence that filled The Elite’s dressing room was almost physically painful. Kenny sat at one end and Adam the other, both dressed and ready for their tag team title defense against Dark Order. Neither of them had said so much as two words to each other since the night before, when they’d had a verbal altercation of their own not long after Kenny’s physical one with Cash.

Callie had tried to tell Adam to just leave Kenny alone to cool off, but he couldn’t. He felt responsible for the fight. He’d been the one to call Kenny over like a drunken idiot. He’d been the one to drive Alex to Cash, unwittingly breaking Kenny’s heart and putting Alex between them. And so even though he hadn’t swung a single punch that night, he felt like he’d stabbed Kenny in the back, repeatedly—and that was ten times worse.

So he’d marched down to Kenny’s hotel room, just a few doors away, still in his suit and tie. Still buzzing from the alcohol he’d consumed all night. He’d knocked on the door before he could think better of it. When Kenny answered, he looked disappointed. Like he was hoping it had been someone—anyone—else knocking at his door.

“What do you want?” he sighed.

Adam frowned. He didn’t blame Kenny for not wanting to talk to him. “I wanted to come see if you were alright,” he said. He glanced at his left eye. There was already a welt underneath it. “Cash got you pretty good.”

“And I returned the favor,” Kenny clipped.

Adam looked away, running a hand through his already mussed hair. He hadn’t come prepared with anything to say, so he just said the first thing that came to mind. “I didn’t know Cash would act like that when I called you over. And I wasn’t trying to rub tonight in your face, I swear.”

Kenny laughed wryly to himself. “Okay, Adam.”

His brow lowered. “I wasn’t,” he firmly returned. “Do you seriously think I would do that?”

“Actually yeah, I do,” Kenny nodded. “And you wanna know why? Because you knew exactly what you were doing when you invited FTR to that cookout with Alex. It wasn’t just about getting her to be friends with Callie. Admit it.”

Guilt rose up Adam’s throat like bile. He’d done far more than just invite FTR to the same cookout as Alex. But couldn’t admit to the things he’d said to her. He just couldn’t. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But I didn’t know you loved her, man.”

“What difference does that make?” Kenny shot. “You shouldn’t have done it regardless!”

“Well I thought I was doing what was best for her, alright?” Adam yelled back.

Kenny stared back at him, a mixture of shock and hurt in his eyes. But it was gone as soon as it arrived. He let out another laugh. “You know what? Fuck you, Adam. You’re not sorry. You’re just drunk and guilty.”

And with that he’d slammed the door in Adam’s face, leaving him standing alone in the hall. Now they sat across the locker room from each other, an invisible gulf between them.

Eventually, Adam had to say something. “Look, let’s just put last night behind us for this match, alright? We need to be on the same page if we’re gonna beat Dark Order.”

Kenny cast him a look. “When have we ever been on the same page?”

Adam bit down on his jaw. In a different tone of voice, that could have been a joke. But Kenny clearly wasn’t joking. “Kenny, I’m willing to work with you tonight so we don’t lose our championships. Are you?”

Kenny abruptly stood from his seat and grabbed his AEW World Tag Team Championship. “Yeah, I am. Because this?” he held up the title. “This is just business. Nothing else.” And he walked out the door, making it crystal clear to Adam exactly where he stood.

* * * * * * * * * *

“I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve had a fantastic two days,” Cash announced as Alex walked with him and Dax toward Gorilla for their Dark match against Brandon Cutler and Peter Avalon. “I wined and dined my girl; my best friend and I officially signed our AEW contracts, with guarantees for tag ropes and Tag Team Appreciate Night; and now we get to go kick some ass.”

“Everything’s coming up FTR,” Dax said.

“Everything is coming up FTR,” Cash agreed.

Alex did her best to smile at Cash as he squeezed her hand, her fingers interlaced with his. He’d been in a good mood all day; it was like he’d already forgotten about the fight with Kenny. She wished she could say the same.

They arrived at Gorilla, but instead of walking toward the ring entrance with Dax, Cash slowed to a stop. He pulled Alex against him. “Are you gonna watch back here?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I feel like if I went out there it would just take away from you guys. You know… because of last night.”

He frowned at her. Not a sad frown, but an apologetic one. “I know, sweetheart. I know everyone knows about the fight. I’m sorry.”

Alex shook her head. She reached up and gently brushed her fingertips through his hair. “You apologized last night,” she said. “Let’s move forward.”

Cash smiled at her, true and warm, and Alex’s stomach fluttered. His smile always made her melt.

Suddenly, someone nearby shouted that they were on in sixty seconds. Cash glanced toward Gorilla. “Shit—I gotta go.” He gave her a kiss, quick and hard. “I’ll see you after.”

Alex watched as he hurried off. She missed him almost as soon as he was gone, but she turned and started down the hall to watch FTR’s match with Callie in the lounge. At least, she thought she’d been going to the lounge. It wasn’t until she saw The Elite’s locker room that she realized she’d gone in the complete opposite direction.

She stood there, staring at the door. Her conversation with Matt earlier in the day replayed in her head. Her legs carried her forward; and the next thing she knew, she was knocking.

A voice called from inside. “Yeah?” Alex’s pulse raced. That was Kenny’s voice. Before she could think about it, she pushed open the door and walked in. Kenny froze when he saw her. He’d obviously just gotten out of the shower. Heat rose in Alex’s cheeks as she watched tiny water droplets drip from his damp curls and roll down his bare chest. Thank God he was wearing shorts.

“Hey,” he said.

She had to swallow a lump in her throat before she could speak. “Hi.” Now that she was in front him, she didn’t know what the hell to do. She hadn’t intended to come in here; it had just happened, like her subconscious had taken her there of its own accord. And then her tongue took over. “Um, I know this is probably a bad time. But��� can we talk?”

He seemed surprised at the request. But he nodded. “Yeah. It’s not a bad a time.”

Alex chewed her lip as he dug out a tank top from his suitcase and pulled it over his head. She crossed the room and sat down in a chair, far too nervous to stand. Her legs were literally shaking. Kenny sat down next to her; the familiar scent of his body wash filled her nose. Her stomach fluttered.

“What’s up?” he asked.

The genuineness of his tone killed her. She looked back at him, and her gaze couldn’t help but drift to the purple bruise underneath his left eye. “I’m sorry about last night,” she said.

He shook his head. “It’s not your fault.”

She looked down at her hands, wringing them in her lap. “I still feel responsible.”

“Don’t,” he insisted. “Really. I let Cash get to me and I shouldn’t have.”

“He shouldn’t have acted the way he did,” she returned, almost underneath her breath.

A corner of Kenny’s mouth quirked up. “Well, I’m not blaming you for him acting like an asshole.”

Alex stole a glance at him. His eyes were so sincere that she had to look away again. She’d get lost in those blue pools if she didn’t. “I feel terrible about the way he acted,” she admitted. And then she added, before she could stop herself, “And I feel even more worse about it now that I know you planned a night just like that for me.”

She looked at him again—she had to see his reaction. His expression was one of realization. “Did Matt tell you?”

She nodded. And then it all came out. “He asked to talk to me before the show started. He told me that after that night you didn’t come back to the hotel room until one in the morning you planned a night to make it up to me. But it never happened because I’m a fucking asshole who didn’t give you a chance.”

Emotion surged up through her and her eyes welled with tears, falling and rolling silently down her cheeks as she stared back at him. And then she realized: it was her guilt that had brought her in here. It had carried her away like a riptide, and she was just fighting to breathe.

Kenny frowned at her. “Alex, please don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry.”

He dared to reach out and brushed her tears away with his thumb. She didn’t pull away. Instead, she leaned into his touch. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?” she asked.

“Because I was too shocked by what you’d said,” he gently explained. “It felt like you’d already made up your mind. It felt like there was nothing I could do that would make a difference.”

Alex’s heart broke all over again when she heard that. “It would have made a difference,” she said, her voice breaking. “We could still be together, Kenny.”

Kenny anticipated what was coming, and he didn’t think twice before pulling her into him. Alex buried her face in his neck, clinging to his shirt as her shoulders shook and he held her tight. She’d wondered for weeks, deep in the back of her mind, if she and Kenny would still be together if only she hadn’t been so quick to put up her walls. And now that he’d said that, it all but confirmed her worst fears.

“I wish I could go back in time and re-do that day,” Kenny said. “But I can’t. The only thing I can do is try to fix it now.”

He pulled back and looked deep into her eyes. Alex’s breath hitched in her throat as he reached up and wiped her tears away again, cupping her face in his hand, still holding her close. The air was magnetic between them. If he was going to kiss her, she wasn’t sure she would stop it.

“Do you remember when we were in Daytona Beach for Fyter Fest last year and we went down to the boardwalk?” he asked.

Alex gave him a watery smile. That had been one of their first “dates” after they’d first gotten involved. It was one of her favorite memories. But it felt bittersweet now. “Yeah. We went to that arcade and you kicked my ass at absolutely everything. Even air hockey.”

“You were so mad,” he smirked.

“I’m competitive.”

His grin grew wider. “And then we went in that photobooth, and you didn’t even want to smile you were so annoyed with me. But then I kissed you.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “And then I didn’t want to stop kissing you.”

He brushed another tear away as it fell. “I still have those pictures,” he said. “And after that night I didn’t come back to the hotel room until late, I went home and dug them out. And as I was looking at them… that’s when I realized I loved you.”

He sat back and stood up. Alex watched as he walked across the room back to his suitcase and unzipped the interior pocket. He pulled out a small white box and walked back over to her, retaking his seat. He looked down at the box in his hands. Alex watched him.

“I was planning on giving this to you at dinner on that night Matt told you about. I had this whole spiel prepared about how I knew I’d messed up and hurt you, but I was committed to you now. And I was scared shitless about it but… I was going to tell you I loved you. That I would do everything I could to make sure you knew that and never doubted it. But then that night never happened. I’ve been carrying this around with me ever since,” he said with a gesture of the box. “I just never bothered to take it out of my suitcase; I didn’t want to even think about it after you got together with Cash. But I want you to have it.”

He held out the box to her. Alex’s hands trembled as she took it. She worked open the lid. A round, antique gold-colored locket on a long chain sat on a cotton cushion inside. She picked it up and pulled it open. Her heart swelled in her chest and she brought a hand to her mouth. Inside was the picture of them kissing in the photobooth that day at the boardwalk arcade.

She looked back up at Kenny, tears freely falling again. There was love in his eyes as he gazed back at her. Deep. Real. “I don’t know what happens from here,” he said. “You could still choose him, and I’ll just have to live with it. But I love you, Alex. And I promise—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence—Alex pulled him forward and crashed her lips against his. Kenny didn’t hesitate for a second; he wrapped his arms around her and tilted her head back, deepening the kiss. Craving her, claiming her as their mouths moved together—and, in that moment, Alex wanted him to.

But then there were voices in the hall. She returned to her senses and abruptly pulled away from him, her eyes wide with guilt. “Shit.” She looked back at Kenny, shocked at what they’d just done. But Kenny didn’t look shocked at all. His eyes shone with something else entirely.

“Alex,” he breathed, his voice heady with desire. It told Alex she needed to leave before they did anything more.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and she stood and hurried out the door, the locket still in her hand.

[katherinewilliams221b]

For A Greater Good 5/18

gif’s not mine just the text

Summary: Kate Williams, young healer and member of the Order, joins Durmstrang's staff at Dumbledore's request. Her mission? Find a Death Eater and survive long enough to tell the story. Set in 1996.

Pairing: Charlie Weasley x ofc

Masterlist

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] 

Warnings: mentions of blood and wounds (marked with *)

--

Kate opened her eyes and stared directly at the ceiling of her room. She blinked several times and her eyes got moist with fatigue.

She stood up lazily, and with one eye she looked at the clock on the desk. She still had an hour to prepare.

Standing on the cold stone floor, she stared at the dim light coming through the window. The previous day’s duel had left her exhausted and in pain, and she hadn’t slept a wink all night.

With a determined sigh, she put her robe over the T-shirt she had stolen from Charlie and her slippers and ventured down the corridor to the toilet.

Her image in the mirror reflected perfectly how she felt: in misery. She was tying her hair up when she heard voices coming from the corridor.

“I find it outrageous! You have no right to do this!”

“I have every right, ma’am. In fact, it’s my job. Who’s staying in this room?”

Kate’s eyes widened, and she walked as quietly as possible to the door.

“One of our healers. I tell you that man is not here, and this is an invasion of privacy. The British Ministry can’t do this, let alone without notice!” Astrid Rhode’s voice could be heard through the castle.

She heard a knock on her door and held her breath. Three knocks again.

“Department of International Magical Cooperation, open the door, please.” Kate instinctively covered her mouth with her hand. That was her father’s department.

The two options she had were equally bad: she could go out and be recognised by her father’s partner, compromising her situation, risking her father’s involvement; or she could not go out and have to face exactly the same situation later.

Resigned, she sighed and opened the door to the hallway.  “Forgive me. Is there a problem?” she asked in the sweetest voice she could manage. A man in a suit practically wanted to break down the door to her room.

She held her breath, waiting for the man’s reaction, but his expression remained unchanged.

“I have a search warrant for Durmstrang Institute: search and capture the Death Eater known as  Igor Karkarov.”

“I understood that the charges were dropped.”

“Things are changing. The door, please.”

“And you are?” Kate was trying to retain him as long as possible while she thought of how to keep him from finding her diary.

“This is unnecessary and insulting.” Rhode added.

“My name is Cyprus Raynott. The door.”

She gestured with her hand and shook her head. “It’s open.”

Kate and Astrid Rhode shared a look behind his back and followed him into the small room.

“Can you claim that it has been ransacked?” Raynott looked around. At one glance, he had already covered the whole space.

“Sorry about the mess, I wasn’t informed that I would be receiving visitors.” She tried to get him to see her accusatory look, but he didn’t pay attention. He pushed her aside and opened the cupboard wide.

Kate’s breathing quickened, but she managed to conceal it. She saw him touching the inside walls, looking for a secret compartment.

“Homenum revelio.”

The room fell silent, and after a while Raynott nodded.

“Everything seems to be in order.”

“In that case, get out of here. Please know that I’ll make a formal complaint to the British Ministry soon.” Astrid left the room, followed by Raynott and Kate.

“I have yet to inspect the rest of the rooms and the kitchens.”

She walked up to a painting at the end of the corridor and knocked with her knuckles.

“Sir Wedgwood, would you accompany the gentleman?”

A ghost of a man in armour came out of the painting and floated down the stairs.

“Hurry, Mr Raynott. He despises waiting.”

When they lost sight of the ministry’s employee, Astrid approached Kate with a worried expression.

“Be careful, my dear. I didn’t like this at all.” She gestured in circles, referring to the situation they had just experienced. “No one can get here unless we send the carriage for them.”

“And you think someone from Durmstrang brought it here on purpose?”

“It is possible.”

“But... why? And if they’re looking for Karkarov, why send just one person? He’s not even an auror...” Astrid shrugged and shook her head before she left as well.

--

The snow crunched under her feet as she walked. February came as quickly as the icy mountain blizzards that had left the landscape covered in white the night before.

The visit by the Ministry’s employee had left a strange aura of insecurity throughout the school. Although Astrid Rhode called a meeting specifying the reasons for the visit and reassured those present that it would not happen again, the idea that the former headmaster might be lurking around left everyone uneasy.

The story of their former teacher as a convict was not unknown to the students and that he had been a Death Eater was an open secret.

Wearing a thick scarf and gloves, Kate ventured to the entrance of the forest, where there was a path leading to the nearest lake.

Although it was perfectly marked, she enjoyed getting lost in the trees from time to time, while keeping her eyes on the castle.

Lunchtime was the ideal moment for a walk around the castle grounds; everything was quiet, and that allowed her to reflect in silence.

The lake appeared before her, stretching out to the horizon and disappearing into the mountains.

She adjusted her scarf up to her nose when a gust of wind wanted to cut her skin.

She walked carefully to the edge of the lake and admired the view. There will also be a giant squid here?

She couldn’t help but laugh at the thought and considered that probably many other creatures were moving under her feet.

“Ah! The new healer! I didn’t expect to find you here” Kate turned to meet Professor Kent Jorgensen face to face. She had not even heard him approach. “I see you’ve found my favourite spot.”

He gave her a charming smile, letting her see all the white pearls he had.

“I admit the view is wonderful. Well, the entire place is breathtaking.” Without the chaos and noise of the infirmary, Kate was able to concentrate on his mind this time, unlike the first time they’d met. No one wanted to come in. Everything was calm and peaceful, although she sensed worry and anxiety, but she didn’t dare say it wasn’t her own.

“Right? I think so too.” He threw his head back and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. Aren’t his lungs freezing? She thought. Jorgensen turned to look at her.

“If you wished to be alone...”

“Uh, no, no.” Although she would have preferred that the professor’s keen eyes were not on her at any time, she had to take advantage of the situation and try to question him. “It’s okay.”

“So a new healer,” he started by putting his hands behind his back “will we have the pleasure of having you for a long time?”

“I guess it will last the duration of the contract.” She could only say. The truth was: she didn’t know the answer to that question.

Jorgensen laughed before nodding. “Yes, it usually works like that.”

“What brought you to Durmstrang?”

“Oh, it’s a long story. The story of a lifetime, in fact. I was born in Germany, but I remember little about it, I was very young when we went to my real hometown, Panay,” Kate questioned him with a look.

“Philippines. My mother, a wonderful woman, taught me everything she knew about potions. I want to implement some of them to my lessons, you know? I’m waiting for the headmistress’ approval.”

He stared at the lake but his mind was elsewhere, Kate could feel it.

“When I finished my studies there, I wanted to see the world and learn as much as I could in the shortest time possible. And then I wanted to teach. To teach everything I knew, what I had seen. Durmstrang was the only school that accepted me.”

The professor sighed deeply and addressed Kate, intending to change the subject of the conversation.

“And where are you from?”

“Well, that’s complicated. I was born in London.” Jorgensen nodded.

“But that doesn’t mean anything.” He looked at her with a knowing smile.

Kate wondered how far she should go to expose information about her, but she thought that if she did not open up, it would be difficult for them to trust her.

“I have a lot of Irish blood. And I’m tempted to say I am, even though I’ve never been.”

“Ah, that explains a lot of things...” Kate took an imperceptible step back and looked at him inquisitively. 

“Libor explained to me what happened in his class. Irish magic is characterised by its wand-less-ness. It’s part of you.”

She was about to answer when she saw the tattoo on his neck again, which appeared from under his clothes. Thinking she would follow the same conversation, Jorgensen added.

“Your nationality is not determined by the place you were born, but by where your heart resides.”

“What is... what is that on your neck? What does it represent?” He touched his neck automatically but didn’t say a word. A heavy silence fell between them.

“I have always been curious in nature.” She insisted.

“Some say it’s a giant snake, I like to think of it as a sea dragon. Are you familiar with dragons?”

Although the cold had already made her nose pinker than usual, she knew her cheeks matched now, judging by the warmth she felt on her face all of a sudden.

“So... who’s the lucky one?”

“Excuse me?”

“You have the look of someone who’s in love... and no one kisses an envelope for a mere friend... a relative, perhaps, but unlikely. I’m a romantic, but don’t tell anyone; I have a reputation to uphold.”

Kate stared at him for a long time until she realised.

“Are you a hawk?” He nodded with a bow.

“Why did you attack me?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to. I’m Professor Rhodes’ eyes and ears. When I make the rounds in the woods, to make sure everything’s in order, I don’t like students hanging around. When I saw you in the infirmary, I realised my mistake.”

“Are you... Astrid Rhode’s confidant?”

“Yes, for years.”

“How many years?” He looked at her, suddenly suspicious.

“It’s a healer’s thing, I guess... always asking questions.” He tried to laugh but only made the atmosphere more tense. Not even Libor Marek managed to create that feeling of insecurity. Maybe it was his look or the fact that she was fifteen minutes away from the castle with no one around.

“I can’t blame you, I’m just like that too, I love to gossip, but don’t tell the other teachers, they won’t want to talk to me anymore!”

“It’s Bakunawa. A kind of god that was responsible for eclipses of the sun and moon.”

“I had it done when I was very young, more so than you even. When I first saw a sea dragon, I was mesmerised... they are majestic.” He laughed again before suddenly getting serious.

“Long, long ago,” he began with a dramatic hand gesture, “the Earth had seven moons and humans and creatures lived in peace,” Kate was confused by the beginning of the story but let it continue.

“In a village by an enchanted lake, the Bakunawa fell in love with a human girl in one of the native tribes. The head of the tribe found out about their affair and had its home destroyed. Blind with anger, tried to take revenge by eating all the 7 moons.”

“When he was about to eat the last one, God punished the Bakunawa by banishing it from its home away from the sea. That’s the story I liked best as a child.”

He rummaged through the layers of his robe and pulled out a dagger. Kate took several steps backwards but stopped as she slipped on the ice. After regaining her balance, her panicky expression was still there even though the teacher hadn’t tried to stab her.

“It was a gift from my mother.” He handed her the dagger so she could hold it by the handle. The hilt was carved with the same dragon he’d told her about, along with an inscription she couldn’t read.

“It means that no matter what you do, you will always find your way back home.” He paused and winked, “Not even if a God rips you from it.”

He retrieved his dagger and lifted it into the lake. Kate watched as the dragon on the hilt unscrewed and jumped into the water, plunging into the depths. As she bent down, a silvery mantle covered the entire surface of the lake.

Different flashes flew up and down, readjusting and twisting in the water, forming figures above it. Kate looked at the scene; the water itself was forming figures from the sky, planets, stars, and constellations.

“Muggle mythology exists to explain what has been seen and not understood. What they were clear about is that Bakunawa can, and does, predict natural phenomena, such as eclipses. Very useful in the potion industry and in... well, it’s always useful.”

“The more time I spend here I realise,” she began in wonder, “how much there is to discover and know.”

“Durmstrang is not a magic school for teaching sorcery. But because it teaches you to want more.”

The silver cloak of the star map disappeared from the water as quickly as it came, and the little steel dragon jumped out of the depths to curl up again on the little dagger.

A “pop” sound was heard from behind. The two of them turned and found a man wrapped in a thick cloak and a matching hat. Kate recognised the man as Leron Angelov, professor of transfiguration.

She had long wondered how she could get a word with the professor or at least cross his path, never thinking he would appear to her out of the blue at the least expected moment.

Leron Angelov, directly transferred from a school of sorcery in Melbourne and, according to the documents, an expert in the four branches of transfiguration.

“Ah! My good friend,” Jorgensen began. “Enjoying a walk?”

Angelov went over to where they were standing and Kate could see his face better under his hat. A hat, she thought, matched the one she saw the day she arrived. His complexion was pale and red around the eyes. He looked ill. Before she could ask him about it, he interrupted her.

“Where’s Cassandra?” His voice was hoarse and tired, as if he had not spoken for a long time.

“I haven’t seen her today. What time is it?” answered Jorgensen. He took a pocket watch from his cloak and nodded. “She should be on her way to the hospital wing.”

“In that case, so am I.” Kate added.

“Let’s go back to the castle together.” Angelov was not enthusiastic about his coworker’s proposal, judging by the grunt he made.

“How’s your son, Leron?” Jorgensen inquired. The answer was a brief “well” that was barely heard. However, Jorgensen dazzled them with an enormous smile.

“Brilliant boy, that Micael. Eleven years old and he’s practically ahead of me in my class, already.”

The walk back to the castle was uncomfortable for everyone. One didn’t have to be legilimens to know that. Leron meandered behind them. Kate turned several times but was interrupted by Jorgensen’s animated mood to talk about the weather or potion ingredients.

“So you can apparate here?” Kate preferred to keep her voice low, for some reason unknown to her.

“Oh, yes, but only outside the castle. Cassandra! We were wondering where you were!” At the beginning of the bridge, Cassandra was looking into the forest with her arms crossed and was startled upon hearing her name.

She saw Leron stagger behind them, and with a determined step, she approached. “I have to talk to you.” Kate didn’t think the mediwizard even acknowledged her.

“Not now, Cassandra.” Leron shook the hand that she had placed on his arm and reluctantly walked to the bridge. Steiner was hot in the heels.

Kate watched their backs as they moved away towards the main gate and found it very interesting that Professor Angelov was looking for Cassandra and then seemed to want to get rid of her.

“He’s not a man of many words, though compared to me, anyone seems quiet...” Jorgensen laughed at his own joke and advanced across the bridge. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Yes... yes, although I should go to my room first. I have to untangle my hair, I don’t know why, but the cold ruins it tremendously.” Although it was true, Kate needed to go upstairs and write the recent information that had just been presented to her.

“I think I can be of help to you. I can brew a perfect potion for that.” Before Kate could decline the offer, Kent Jorgensen had already walked away with long strides and whistling an unfamiliar tune.

Before she reached the main staircase, however, she turned to see if she had just heard her name.

“Miss Williams!” To her left she found Mer Yankelevich waving her black cape behind her. She got so close that Kate had to step back to defend her personal space.

“I thought,” she whispered, “I should tell you this, since you’re new...”

“I’ve been here almost a couple of months...”

“Still, I must warn you. Don’t go near Kent Jorgensen. I’ve seen you two talking and he can’t be trusted. He can be very manipulative.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Although she didn't trust the teacher, she had to remind herself that, as Professor Sprout said, ‘Sometimes a pleasant appearance hides a great danger.’

The charms teacher went on her way upstairs without looking back. Kate sighed deeply and climbed two steps before being stopped again.

“Williams. Where do you think you’re going?” Cassandra Steiner’s firm voice made her close her eyes briefly before turning around a second time.

“I was going to...”

“Don’t. We have an emergency.” Kate frowned and followed Cassandra through the corridors. “Some sixth graders have taken the headmistress’ warnings seriously and have been duelling in the west courtyard. In the column, you know, typical.”

“I don’t follow you, is that a meeting point or...?” She chuckled nervously at the fact that people were meeting in a particular column to fight.

“On the Grindelwald’s mark, of course.” Kate had too many questions and not enough time, so she chose the first one that came to mind. She would bother Corentin with the column issue another time.

“Is Professor Angelov feeling well? I saw his face, his eyes were watery.”

“His wife died some time ago. He’s still not over it.” She just said.

*

When she arrived at the infirmary, the scene before her was little more than grotesque; in all her career she had never seen teenagers get such injuries, it was clear that Libor Marek was not only teaching them ‘Flipendo’.

“Help me with this section.” The group of seven boys had wounds all over their bodies that would not stop bleeding. One of them confessed in tears that he had tried to use the Cruciatus curse on one of his classmates and begged not to tell the headmistress.

Attending to each of them was a long and exhausting process, despite having ten perfectly trained mediwizards. The cuts were small, as if made with sheets of paper, but they did not stop bleeding. 

Some mediwizards tried several potions, some others proved with spells, but the cuts and the desperation were getting deeper and deeper.

After what seemed an eternity, the boy nearest to Kate confessed to having cast the curse. Immediately, the wounds stopped.

Kate blinked several times and let go a shaky breath as she saw the pain subsiding. She raised her forearms to avoid touching anything with her hands full of blood and Cassandra went to one of the bookshelves.

“What book did you get the idea from?” She asked him.

“I don’t... I don’t know. It was on Professor Yankelevich’s desk. We’ve been studying curses. It was a green book.” He turned his head in shame and Cassandra rummaged through the copies she had until she found a moss-coloured one.

“Haemophilia Curse or The Bleeders Curse, creates cuts on the victim that won’t stop bleeding. The only counterspell or breaking curse known is the admission of the creation of the spell. The bleeding lasts indefinitely otherwise.”

“Did you know that?” Kate snapped, but the boy just shook his head with his eyes closed. Turning to Cassandra, she added, “What else is in there?”

Cassandra huffed and went to the last page. “First half seems to be curses on objects, like mirrors, walls, cupboards… second half is about curses on people.”

She closed the book with a loud snap, “Don’t even understand why would you teach this, really.” She added with a roll of the eyes.

Kate suppressed her desire to comment on how she doubted Yankelevich was using that for her class and simply said, “I’m going to wash my hands.”

Cassandra nodded and dismissed her with a vague gesture. From afar, she heard her comment “Libor will be thrilled with this.” She wanted to believe with all her might that it was an attempt at a poorly executed sarcasm, but thought with horror that it was probably the truth.

--

[Part 6]

A/N: This is fiction made by an absolute ignorant. I do an intense research about the topics that I mention, and try my best to represent anatomy, cultures, behaviours, ideologies etc. the best I can and with all of my love. I apologise for any inaccuracies that you can and might find.

--

[fanfic-scribbles]

Lunch Buddy: Chapter Eighteen

Masterlist

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they’ll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 18: Party Hard

Chapter Summary: Steve is a popular guy, whether he wants to be or not. Seeking shelter around Christmas seems appropriate for the season, at least.

Chapter Warnings: Whether the viewpoint character celebrates Christmas or not is left vague (there is a gift exchange but it’s mostly centered on what Steve would celebrate), general time jumps between days are marked with single tildes (~), and at the end there is a change in viewpoint and a change back, marked ~like so~

Chapter Word Count: 5241

A/N: This chapter was a little delayed because it wasn’t working and when I dug into why I found I had issues with the following sections that were mucking up the place. It felt like working out a real big snarl– frustrating and painful at first, but very satisfying when I got to the end of it. And slightly cathartic when I just ripped out the bit that refused to budge. It was fun. I hope you enjoy.

(Minor note: time is left vague but this all starts just a few days after the last chapter and happens over a couple of weeks, ending just before Christmas. I have sort of a fake calendar I’ve done up so the dates make sense to me but I don’t think they’re necessary to understand the chapter. If I’m wrong let me know and I’ll see if I can fix it so it does make sense.)

   ~

   I was having a perfectly pleasant evening at home. I had comfy clothing, I had drinks, I had my phone, I had activities…and I had activities involving my phone.

Me: How’s the party? Steve: Ugh

Bothering Steve would always, no matter what, be fun.

Me: Serves you right Me: trying to guilt-trip me Steve: My only regret is I didn’t guilt you more Steve: I can’t believe you abandoned me to this Me: And I can’t believe you wanted to subject me to that Steve: >:( Steve: I’m reduced to hiding Steve: From a very drunk woman who wants to lean on me Steve: Among other things Steve: Or so she assures me

I felt a flare of something. It wasn’t anything nice.

Me: Hang on Me: Omw Steve: Is that all it takes?

‘Is that all it takes.’ He was such a fuckhead sometimes; maybe that woman could have him– except, no, actually unacceptable. Any potential partners had to understand ‘no means no’ and when to back the fuck off.

Me: Yup Me: There is only so much arm space for clingy bitches Me: And I take up a lot of room Steve: Hey Steve: You are not a bitch Steve: >:( Me: Don’t you frowny-face me mister Me: I am whatever I want to be Me: Deal with it

I added the sunglasses emoji just because.

Steve: Well Steve: I can’t argue that Steve: But I still don’t like it Me: You don’t have to Me: <3 Steve: I guess that’s fair Me: Seriously though Me: Do you want an excuse to leave? Me: I’ll figure one out Steve: It’s okay Steve: I’m going to be up early tomorrow so I’m going to duck out soon Steve: It just would have been more fun with you here

I rolled my eyes. But I smiled.

Me: Well Me: Don’t stay too late, Cinderella Steve: Hm Steve: Better than the old man jokes I guess Me: I would never Me: …Well I guess I might. Too easy though; I like to make an effort Steve: I appreciate your work ethic

The conversation drifted off in drips and drabs, but that night I dreamed of Steve and glass slippers and in the morning I woke with the feeling that nothing had fit quite right.

~

Steve: Guess where I am

I got up and peeked out the window. No bike, but that didn’t necessarily mean no Steve. However I looked around my apartment and cringed at the mess.

Me: If you’re dropping in you better be bringing snacks Steve: I wish

I frowned at my phone. If he wasn’t coming over then why was he…wait a minute. Wait.

Me: No Steve: Yes Me: It’s Thursday Me: Who has a party on Thursday?! Steve: Pepper assures me it’s not technically a party Steve: It’s a small get-together Me: So it’s a small party Steve: Basically Me: We’re going shopping this weekend Me: We need to find you a spine Steve: YOU try telling Pepper no Me: Hey I never said I had a spine Steve: Be grateful Steve: She really tried to get me to invite you Steve: I danced around it. I knew you wouldn’t want to with work tomorrow Me: Yeah, not happening. Thanks Steve: You’re welcome Me: Seriously though Me: How many parties can those people have in one month? Steve: Please don’t ask Steve: I don’t want to find out Me: I hate to be the one to break it to you Me: But it sounds like you’re going to find out Me: Whether you like it or not

He sent me a sad frowny-face and I immediately imagined him making the same expression. I looked up at my ceiling and wondered why it had to be now that I had the most active imagination I’d had since I was seven.

Me: Well Me: If you need a place to hide out from fancy food and grabby people Me: You know where to come Me: I don’t really do fancy food Steve: What about the grabbing?

‘Buddy, I wish,’ I thought and rolled my eyes. He had no idea. And he never would. Hopefully.

Me: I like to think I’m respectful of personal bubbles Steve: Except when I steal your food Me: Well yeah Me: At that point you’re a thief Me: And punishment must be meted out Steve: Crap Steve: Tony saw me, gotta go Me: Good luck Steve: Gee thanks

I sent him a sweet smiley face, because some things just couldn’t be helped.

~

Karma kicked my ass the very next day when I woke up with such a sudden and severe cold that made me call out of work. I was just barely considering getting out of bed for maybe some soup or a slow crawl directly to the morgue when my phone buzzed.

Steve: I think I hate you Me: I didn’t do it Steve: Another party Me: … Me: … Me: Dude Me: It’s ten am? Steve: It’s tonight Me: I’m sick Me: Come over and I’ll cough on you Steve: I can’t get sick Steve: I never thought I’d be sad about that Steve: Wait Steve: You’re sick?

I rolled my eyes. And winced, because that just hurt my fucking head.

Me: Yeah. Staying home today. Steve: Do you need anything? Steve: Help? Food?

I really wished he could stop being so sweet. It was a real fucking problem sometimes– like now, when I could think of a whole list of things I wanted his help with that was just slightly past the friends barrier. Or maybe friends cuddled and I was just out of the loop? I made a mental note to look into that, when I was slightly less disgusting.

Me: No thanks Me: Got medicine, got soup, got bed Me: Just need to decide if I can keep anything down Steve: Oh :( Me: I’ll be okay Me: Just need some sleep to kick this in the ass

And warm arms wrapped around me, but I kept that to myself. Maybe I’d have a nice dream later.

Steve: You do that Steve: Get plenty of rest Steve: And call if you need anything Steve: I will be incredibly motivated as of 9pm tonight Me: Oof Me: I would offer to be your excuse Me: But I’m hoping a cocktail of cough syrup and pain meds will make that way past my bedtime Steve: Stay safe Me: I will. Worrywart Steve: Yup <3

He was trying to kill me; I knew it. However I was so exhausted I just sent him a quick ‘bye’ and crawled back under the covers to be miserable and whiny on my own. Admittedly, ‘on my own’ left much to be desired these days, but I got through it like I always did.

Except for the container of soup from a local Chinese place that somehow made it to my door that afternoon. That was new addition to my ‘get better’ routine. But very much welcome.

~

Steve: Sigh

I already knew what was coming. Mostly because I was trapped in a similar hell.

Me: At least it’s close enough to an appropriate date Steve: I guess Steve: What are you doing? Me: Work holiday party Me: fml

A couple of women greeted each other nearby in tones that varied up and down but they all stayed pretty equally loud, and I ducked closer to the table, under which I hid my phone.

Steve: I guess it’s true Steve: Misery does love company

I sent him a line of middle fingers

Me: How’s YOUR party? Steve: Zzzzzzzzz

I ducked down further to hide my laughter.

Me: Seriously though Me: How many parties can one guy have? Steve: So many, apparently Steve: Last year wasn’t this bad Steve: He did get mildly offended you haven’t been to a one Me: Ugh Me: Wait, sorry Me: I don’t really mean that Me: I just have no idea how to do damage control with that guy Me: I don’t know what his deal is Steve: It’s okay Steve: Neither do I Steve: And he’s mostly joking Steve: I think Me: Good Me: I’d rather get along peaceably with your other friends Steve: Or be friends with them?

I thought about it.

Me: Gotta be honest Me: You have a lot of friends Me: That sounds like a lot of work Steve: They’re not so bad

I heard my name and glanced up to see my boss was looking around.

Me: Well you have fun with them Me: gtg boss is looking for me Steve: Don’t get in trouble Steve: I’ll see you later? Me: Later

My boss caught sight of me just as I was slipping my phone away and I subjected myself to being politely social for the rest of the night. I had…a lot more sympathy for Steve after that.

Not that I would ever let him know it.

~

Steve: Can I come over? Me: Of course

Not one second later I heard the buzzer for the entry go off. I let him up without even looking, so when he actually showed up at the door I froze like a deer in the headlights.

“Hey,” Steve said, his face a mixture of stormy and exhausted and his body clad in a finely (finely) tailored suit. He gave me a tired smile and held up a grocery bag. “I brought payment in snacks.”

Yes. Yes he did. Wait, no, snacks. Plural and actual. Literal. Right. “Sounds, uh, good,” I said and stepped aside to let him in, and I briefly hit my head on the door before I shut it. I turned just in time to see him sit down on my couch like he could sink into it, legs opened up and head thrown back. He shut his eyes and breathed. I took a second to do the same. But he looked so fed up with everything and that ended up being (sadly, selfishly,) good for my focus.

“What happened?” I asked and went to sit next to him as soon as concern won out.

“Nothing,” he said. “I’m just tired.”

I could only imagine. I reached out and squeezed his shoulder– but my instinct to leave my hand there propelled me up and over to the kitchen counter where I started unpacking the bag he brought. The first thing I pulled out was an interesting looking bag of something labeled entirely in Cyrillic. The very next thing I saw, hiding behind it I realized, was a box wrapped in paper and ribbons. I couldn’t even give him the benefit of the doubt– my name was written right there. “Steve.”

“Yes?” he asked, overly innocently and turned his bright blue eyes to me like he was some naïve young farm boy who couldn’t possibly understand why I said his name like that.

He was getting better. My bullshit meter was going off so hard it nearly broke and he still almost got to me. Still, I surreptitiously cleared my throat and said, (quite strongly, I thought,) “That is not going to work on me.”

He didn’t back down. His eyes even seemed to get bigger and bluer. “It’s a good time of year to get gifts for your friends, even if for no real reason. Besides, it’s just something I saw that I thought you would like. It’s no big deal.”

“Uh huh.” I liked the way he stretched his arm across the couch, and the way he stole glances at me like I wouldn’t notice. Starting off strong, getting weaker by the moment; I needed to tell Natasha to up his spy training. “Real subtle.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said and grabbed the remote. While he pretended to give a shit about holiday programming I rifled through the rest of the bag, dumped the caramel popcorn into a bowl, and took the bowl and the gift over to the couch where I plopped down as hard as I could in an effort to be as annoying as possible. He didn’t even flinch, just smiled as I put the popcorn in between us on the couch. The gift I set in the center of my coffee table, where it actually looked really nice.

“Aren't you going to open it?” Steve asked, trying to look like he was watching Jimmy Stewart get his Christmas miracle but, again, his eyes kept darting; this time between me and the gift.

“Mm.” I shrugged but inside I was taking my inner impatient five-year-old and turning her into a moustache-twirling villain, with the gift tied to the train tracks. It felt good. “It’s a Christmas gift, right?”

“Not necessarily,” he said.

“Well, I think most single gifts get opened on the 25th, so I’ll wait,” I said, grabbed a handful of popcorn, and settled in to enjoy a bell ringing like I never had before.

“It’s a– a December gift,” Steve insisted.

“Oh,” I said. “Then I have until December 31st to open it.”

“It’s A Wonderful Life” suddenly became the title of my night, maybe even my autobiography, when Steve said my name in the whiniest fucking tone I had ever heard outside of a bad comedy sketch about nasally nerds. I almost dropped the popcorn I held and, when I turned my head to stare at him, he was almost literally beet red.

“Can we pretend that didn’t come out like that?” he asked, looking down like he could stare right through the floor. I had never before seen someone who actually looked like they desperately wanted to be swallowed whole. “As a present to me?”

“Wow,” I said, because it was all I could say. Already the sweet sound of memory was fading, and I tried to hold onto it. “I got you an actual present so no. But wow. Wow. Happy holidays to me. Wow.”

“I’m taking my gift back,” he grumbled and made as if to grab it.

I curled forward to protect it but I moved too fast and accidentally dropped some of my snack, though Steve kept me from cracking my head on the table. “Shit,” I said and hurried to pick up the bits of food. “I just cleaned; if you make me get popcorn bits on my floor I’m making you drag out the vacuum.”

“I don’t think your neighbors would appreciate that right now,” Steve said and wolfed down his own heaping handful of the caramel corn, though he put the bowl on the table.

“My downstairs neighbor has a pre-teen who’s getting into EDM,” I said and pulled the gift into my lap. “Let them suffer as I have suffered.”

“Mm hm,” Steve said, already pretty thoroughly checked out as I turned the box over in my hands.

It wasn’t heavy, but it wasn’t tiny, and it was a fairly standard box so I had no idea what it could be. Maddening. I decided to put us both out of our misery.

“Really?” Steve said as I started picking at the tape on the side. “Are you going to save the paper?”

“Weeeeellllll…” I debated whether or not I should admit my failings, but came out on the side that it would make him smile and I couldn’t find anything wrong with that. Short of an unintentional Three Stooges act there was no way I was topping his whiny self. “I maybe didn’t get a chance to go buy wrapping paper for your gift, sooo…” After a moment I stole a glance, and sure enough, he was smiling.

“You didn’t?” he asked and even let out a little laugh.

“We’re saving the environment,” I said as I started peeling back the paper.

“Sure,” he chuckled. “You, me, and five square feet of wrapping paper.”

“There’s no way there’s that much on here,” I muttered as one corner decided to be a bitch. “How much tape did you use on this thing?”

“I didn’t know we’d be sharing it,” he said, and while he amused himself by harping on the point, I got my wrapping paper off and set it aside.

“–nd you’re not even listening to me, are you?”

“Why would I start now?” The box was plain and, at least for that, I had no compunctions about ripping the tape off. Inside was a lot of paper sitting under a small rectangular box and a shiny black satchel. “Thanks for the great packing materials,” I said as I dug around to make sure I wasn’t missing anything, but it seemed to be just the box and tiny bag.

“Happy to help,” Steve said but he sounded distant. He was staring at the gifts. I took another look at them and my stomach did a flip. The little rectangular box reminded me of–

“Open the box first and then open the bag right after,” Steve said. “It’ll make more sense then.”

When I opened the little box and saw a bracelet I had to hope it was going to make sense. It was…shiny and looked like silver. Chunky but plain. That was a good sign, right? Nice and shiny but plainly platonic. Right? I opened the little satchel and dug out tiny matching metal pieces that were shaped like…oh.

“Wow,” I said and spread the charms on the table around the bracelet still sitting in its pillowed case. “This is…Steve, this is so nice.”

“Oh thank God,” he said and let out a breath that sounded like it was as big as the one still locked in my chest. “I don’t see you wear a lot of jewelry but I saw the charms and it just seemed perfect. The metal’s super hypoallergenic or something– the woman was telling me that it should be fine for anyone with sensitivity to certain metals and I don’t know if you do, but I thought it was better to be safe, and it’s pretty, or I thought so–”

“It’s very pretty,” I said, a smile taking over. What the hell was he so nervous about? Whatever; even his babbling was charming and cute and I tried my best not to think that way because I should have been making fun of him, like a good friend, but I couldn’t rag on him while he was so excited. Or maybe I just couldn’t bring myself to rag on him about this.

“Here,” Steve said, reaching over and taking the bracelet out. Big fingers fumbled with the clasp but he put it on my wrist, and then he went for the charms. He held up the coffee cup. “Obviously,” he said and somehow managed not to fumble that time when he attached it. A cloud, “because you can be pretty gloomy and cranky sometimes,” and when I flipped him off with my other hand he just said, “see?” as he put it on. The book was, “again, pretty obvious.”

Then he put the joystick on and squinted at it for a second before he looked up at me, bright eyes framed by dark lashes, and wet pink lips I couldn’t kiss as someone I deeply cared for leaned into my personal space and gave me jewelry for Christmas. I looked down at the bracelet and focused on being grateful for the sweet, generous gesture this was rather than what I wished it could be. The bracelet itself wasn’t too much. It felt comfortable.

“I asked her if they had anything video game related and she said this was a good one,” he said, but he didn’t sound convinced. It took me a moment to remember what he was referring to. Joystick. Right.

“Remind me to take you to an arcade,” I said and held my arm up to the light. The charms were fun but plain and melded easily together from a distance; I could wear this anywhere and have it be appropriate. But I would know what it really was. “This is…so thoughtful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said warmly. Softly. All of a sudden those repressed feelings surged forward to make my chest ache and for just a moment I thought of a world where he gave me jewelry and it meant something more. But I lived in a world where he gave me a piece of jewelry and looked quietly pleased with himself while I sat and admired it. It didn’t mean anything; it didn’t mean–

Actually, no, that was wrong. It did mean something. It meant Steve was a really good friend who gave me a wonderfully thoughtful gift. I really needed to stop being in my own fucking head so much or I was going to lose everything I already did have.

But I still needed a moment to come back down from the urge to hug him way too tight. “This is so nice, Steve, thank you,” I said and stood quickly, box and wrapping paper in hand. “I can’t lie, yours aren’t as amazing, so get your acting chops up while I’m wrapping them.”

“You know you can just give them to me,” Steve told me as I walked around the other side of the room to avoid any chance of tripping over him.

“Nope!” I said and shut the door to my room. Safe and alone, I breathed– but not too loud, because he might hear me. I grabbed his gifts and shoved them in the box (stuffed them, really) so I couldn’t think too hard and chicken out of giving him something. I messed up at a couple of points with the tape and, rather than ripping the already well-used paper by trying to fix it…I decided to go with it.

One full roll of transparent tape later, I walked back out feeling a little more composed, a little more me. I stood in front of Steve and proudly held out the box.

“It’s very shiny,” he remarked as he took it and looked it over. From the second I sat on the couch I was on the edge of it, eager to see what he would do. Would he try to return the favor by removing all the tape? Would he try scrabbling for an edge? Would he try tearing the paper to ribbons only for the tape to stick all over his hands?

None, apparently– he just pushed his fingers clean through the box right next to the edge and ripped the side right off. “Hey!” I said, because hey, no fair, but he just laughed at me and shook out his gifts onto the couch in between us. I crossed my arms. “You're no fun.”

“No fun at all,” he agreed happily and picked up the beanies. He rubbed one of them between his fingers. “These are very nice.”

“They’re good quality and warm and you look good in beanies,” I said. He put one on haphazardly and I laughed. “Maybe not with tuxes.”

“It does feel nice though; thanks,” he said and sorted through them. “I like the colors too.”

“Yeah, they’re all earthy or whatever,” I said and pointed at the most important gift.

“Unicorn slippers!” he said, seeming actually delighted as he picked them up. He then immediately took off his socks and shoes to put them on. “They fit! They’re soft.”

It was no bracelet, but I couldn’t keep a smile off my face. “I maybe hid some measuring tape near the entryway and ran over to your shoes when you went to the bathroom once.”

“Sneaky,” Steve said and set his shiny loafers aside. “I’m going to have to bring them every time I come over.”

“They’re worth it,” I said and wiggled my own unicorn-clad feet.

Steve picked up the last gift. Or ‘gift.’ “That’s not–” I stopped myself and tried to think of what I wanted to say. I just couldn’t figure out how I could say it that I wouldn’t sound stupid. I gave up on the pretense. “So that’s…just a little thing, that can actually stay here if you want, but it is yours. I know you’re not really into games, but I thought if you were over here maybe you could have your own controller.” As he looked it over, I quietly added, “And maybe I can look into…games with two players. If you’d like to play with me sometimes.”

“I would like that,” he said quickly. “To play with you.” He then turned bright red. “In a game– in a video game.”

I would have made fun of him, but I was choked by embarrassment too. Damn it, I had done so well with keeping my daydreams chaste (mostly, mostly chaste) and that fucker had to do that. I swallowed and tried to think of absolutely anything else while the time ticked on and our mutual embarrassment settled in. Luckily Steve still had the perfect distraction in his hands. “Hey– do you like the design?” I asked, looking from the Captain America shield design to Steve and back and back again.

He rolled his eyes. “Where did you even find it?” he asked and set the package down.

“I don’t know who does your marketing but they deserve a raise because they are putting in work,” I said and sat back, a little apart from him. I could only get so far on the same couch in a small apartment, but it was enough.

“I’ll be sure to pass that along,” he said.

The conversation died and I didn’t know if I should say anything or not, but I felt…mostly comfortable. Despite the slightly-less-but-still-a-little awkward silence. Outside was cold but we were warm inside with fuzzy slippers and snacks and a slate of classic Christmas movies.

“Hey Steve?” I said, looking at the TV.

“Yeah?” he asked and leaned in.

I definitely didn’t turn my head– I was afraid the temptation would be too great. So, I resisted. But I still had plenty to be grateful for. “I’m glad you ditched your dumb party to hang out with me.”

He chuckled and scooted closer. His presence was a wall of warmth that was too comfortable, so much so that I got a core workout just from sitting so rigidly upright. But then he said, “So am I,” and, well…it was worth it.

   ~Later; Avengers Tower~

  “I told you you’d break him,” Maria said, sitting on one arm of the couch.

“Excuse me?” Tony extended his arms, drink sloshing dangerously up the sides of his cup. “I don’t see him here. Where do you think he ran to, hm?”

“We don’t know he went there.” Clint said, a little down the bar from Tony. “He could have run home.”

“No, he’s there,” Natasha said, tapping at her phone. “He’s on her couch, I quote, “eating chips in peace.’”

“Ungrateful,” Tony muttered and continued to do so.

The others ignored him. “So are we going to let Steve handle this on his own terms now?” Bruce asked.

“Bruce,” Natasha said, mock-frowning at him. “It’s like you don’t know us.”

Bruce rolled his eyes, but stretched and groaned. “It’s more like I’m partied out, and this isn’t working.”

“Yet!” Tony said and pointed at Bruce– again, with the hand holding the drink, so his drink sloshed over the side and onto Rhodes, who cursed and grabbed napkins to dry his shirt. “It hasn’t worked yet.”

“Tony,” Pepper said, exasperation lacing her tone. “I think it’s time to let this go. He’s going to refuse to come to any more at this point.”

“Except he has to come to the New Year’s Eve party,” he said, looking at her with eyes as serious as he could make them. He only wavered slightly.

“Oh,” Pepper said. “Yes, he has to come to that one.” She looked thoughtful. “Maybe we can make it a bit smaller.”

“‘Just us’ smaller?” Clint asked.

“Not too small,” Natasha said. “She’ll need a place to hide.”

Thor sat on the couch, with Jane sleeping on one of his shoulders and Darcy sleeping on the other, and he looked curiously around the room. “It is interesting that the Captain would be infatuated with a partner so…” He tried to think of a word, and settled on, “Meek.”

Clint and Natasha snorted in unison. “She’s not meek,” Natasha said. “She just keeps to herself and comes around on her own terms.”

Thor brightened and looked to his sleeping girlfriend. “Like my Jane,” he said and faced forward again, keeping his body very still so as not to disturb the sleeping women. “Perhaps Darcy will help in bringing her forward.”

Bruce cleared his throat. “Before we get too ahead of ourselves, how are we sure Steve isn’t going to skip the next party?”

“He won’t,” Natasha said. “As long as everyone shows up– and they will,” she said, shooting a look at Bruce. He, naturally, withered, and she looked around the room, finally settling on Pepper. “Put her name on the list. I’ll make sure he comes, and I’m certain he will bring his date.”

“The question is: do you think he’ll bring her as a date, or will it become a date?” Maria asked idly.

“Are we betting?” Pepper asked brightly.

As the rest of the group got involved in the debate, Bruce and Phil stared from their positions against the wall. “Poor Steve,” Bruce said. When Phil lifted his glass Bruce clinked his against it, and then they both downed the last of their drinks in unison.

   ~The next day~

  Steve: Please Me: Steve Steve: PLEASE Me: …Are you on your knees or something? Steve: If I was and I took a picture would you come with me? Me: You seriously want me to come along that bad? Me: Why can’t you skip out? Steve: The NYE party is a big one Steve: Or so I have been told Steve: Sam is coming Steve: And I missed Thor at the last party Steve: I will never hear the end of it if I miss him at this one Steve: Please? Me: We forgot to go on that shopping trip for your spine Steve: It won’t do me much good when Natasha removes it Steve: She said I HAVE to go Steve: But Tony and Pepper always have good food Steve: And good alcohol Steve: And he pays the bartenders so well you literally aren’t allowed to tip Steve: Please? Me: … Me: I’m going to have to wear a nice dress Me: And makeup Me: And travel through the city on New Year’s Eve Me: To a big social event Me: This is going to sound weird because Stark’s parties are some hot thing apparently but Me: You are going to owe me so fucking big Steve: I already owe you! Steve: Thank you!

He went on to thank me in a variety of ways that normally would have made me laugh, but I already really regretted saying yes. Steve, all of his friends, me, and booze– I hit my head against my phone for each miserable fucking point. Oh, and people tended to kiss at midnight. Thinking of all the good alcohol made me feel sour, because I wasn’t going to be able to allow myself much of it. Not if I wanted to succeed in keeping my secret crush secret. And even with that pre-new year resolution, I still had a really bad feeling that I wasn’t going to be under wraps for long.

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

[miss-pearlescent]

A Work in Progress

This was a draft that I never got around to finishing until I was moved by all the support you guys were giving me...AND IT’S STILL NOT ACTUALLY COMPETE but I figured I would “talk” you all through the ending LOL Read on and you’ll understand.

Oh, and happy holidays!

“I would move a mountain for you.”

The tears started flowing and she couldn’t stop them. An ache settled deep within her chest as the book she was reading began to get blurry before her watery eyes. She lived for the pain and angst of romance novels, but she could never live through the misery of unrequited love herself.

“Sona?”

Speaking of...

She felt heavy fingers brush through her fine hair as the naked body behind her began to stir.

She wiped at the tears with the heavy sheets. “Hmm?” she asked, though her voice squeaked at the end.

“Sona, are you crying?”

“No,” she lied, even as she craned her neck back to see the sleepy demon prince rise from his sleep.

He rested his chin on her shoulder as he watched her with concern in his eyes. “What happened?”

Sona shook her head. “Nothing. Go back to sleep.”

“It’s not nothing if you’re crying.” He grabbed her by the waist and turned her around so she was resting on his chest. “Now tell me what Kai, the mighty Prince of Hell, can do for you.”

She rolled her eyes in amusement but closed her book to settle closer to him. “I was just reading a book.”

“Ah,” Kai murmured as if that told him everything. “What happened this time? The dragon ate the knight in shining armour and now the princess has to marry the big, scary beast?”

She cut him a look. “No, worse.”

“Worse?” he asked in an exaggerated voice. “What’s worse than being forced to marry a dragon?”

Burying her face into his chest, Sona took a deep breath. “Not knowing if the one you love loves you back,” she whispered. “The hero is about to die and he thinks the heroine is in love with somebody else. All he wants is for her to feel loved and do you know what he said just now, right as he was about to take his last dying breath?” She punctuated her words with tiny jabs at his chest.

Kai was tracing little circles along the back of her neck, comforting her. “What did he say?” he asked softly.

“He said he would move a mountain for her.” Sona sniffled and squeezed her eyes shut to hold back the tears. “A whole mountain!”

He let her wallow in her own sorrow for a moment. She clung to his chest, relishing in the comfort he provided but also wishing she could finish her novel at the same time. There was quite a bit left and she knew there were twists and turns around the corner. She just had to get through those to reach the happy ending.

Sona felt the little scoff that came from Kai. She rose her head and narrowed her eyes, daring him to laugh at her emotions.

He didn’t look at her, just continued to watch the spot on her shoulder where he drew shapes and lines. “He said he would move a mountain? Just one?” The corner of his lips kicked up as he gave her a sly look. “I’d part the seas and move a whole mountain range to create its own island if my woman wanted it.”

She snorted and laid her head back down. “This isn’t a competition.” She began tracing her own little drawings on his palm. “Besides, he’s a human, Mr. Mighty Prince of Hell. You’re not allowed to compare your powers to us.”

“You’re a pretty strong human yourself, Little Miss Wicked Witch of the West,” he teased. “I’m sure you could move a mountain or two yourself if you wanted.”

“I just got lucky at birth,” she said, referring to her ability to cast spells that influenced the weather. Then she thought about how her abilities got her to this place, running from her King straight into the arms and bed of the “enemy.” “Or maybe I got unlucky,” she mumbled with a shrug.

Kai gave a deep sigh but he kept his mouth shut. Sona knew how much he hated it when she disliked her own powers, but she had only started learning to contain the self-hate.

Growing up, Sona was raised in a kingdom of humans, where everybody was the same and nobody knew about the supernatural. Then her mom gave birth to a daughter who, at the age of 6, could ask a cloud to rain upon her mother’s crops in the middle of a drought that had originally caused a mass famine.

At first, the villagers had been frightened of Sona...until hunger took over and they knocked on her mother’s door to ask for rain on their own lands.

Though her mother had started with lies, saying there was no such thing as magic, Sona saw the desperation in her neighbours’ eyes and gave the farmers some rain during the night when nobody could see.

Her village flourished and things were great as Sona grew older. There was only one summer where officials were suspicious. It was hard enough to grow produce on the side of the mountain, but Sona’s mother was bringing carts and carts of crops to the market everyday.

After they had a suspicious official search their home, Sona knew she couldn’t overdo it with the weather anymore. She kept low until a second drought hit her kingdom years later.

The new King had heard of the remarkable growth of Sona’s village and sent soldiers to interrogate the people.

She didn’t like to think about that day because it was the last time she saw her mother before being dragged away to the King’s court.

There, her powers were honed and abused. She was locked up for days until she could cause floods that filled all the rice paddies, till she could bring the sun out in the middle of the night.

And she was forced into an engagement with the King.

It wasn’t until one of her guards saw her plans for an escape that he helped her leave the walls of the kingdom. She walked for days and days until she came upon a town inhabited by what she thought were monsters.

She remembered blacking out before waking up to see Kai’s face.

“What are your plans for today?” he asked, changing the subject and pulling her out of her reverie.

She smiled to herself, thinking of the past month where he patched her up and introduced her to a spellcaster in his outcast town who helped build her skills. Kai was the leader of this town on the other side of the mountain and she grew to love him day by day.

Which was why she wasn’t surprised when he told her he was a demon prince, banished from hell to live out his life on Earth.

Sona played with the chain around his neck. “I think I’ll go visit Mr. Oh this afternoon and bring his family some cake. It’s his grandson’s birthday.” Mr. Oh was the spellcaster who was surprised by Sona’s powers and excited to work with her. He was like a father figure to her. “What’s this?” she asked, pointing at the clover on Kai’s chain.

“It’s the protection charm you gave me,” he explained. She had given Kai a coin with a protection spell on it the day Mr. Oh had taught it to her. “I didn’t know where to keep the coin so I got it melted down into a clover and attached it to my neck. Now I won’t be able to lose it.”

She felt a smile cracking through her lips. “I like it.” She leaned up to give him a quick kiss on the lips.

He rolled her over to deepen it. “You’ll like this too.”

Sona moaned as a hand skated up her side, brushing her nipple in a tease.

And this was where her conscious fought with her.

The relationship she shared with Kai was so perfect, yet neither of them knew where they stood. When she had first climbed into his bed, it was like a magnet had brought them together. After that, they were unable to spend a night apart. And during the day, she longed to be close to him. She wanted to share all her thoughts and ideas with him.

But she knew his greatest wish was to go back home. Things were difficult on Earth, especially in a town where it rained often. And many days were a gloomy grey. In the middle of a week of rain, Sona broke her own rules just to part the clouds and let the sun peak through a bit.

She didn’t realize her heart would be the one to warm up when she saw Kai watching her with awe and pride.

So, selfishly, she tried everything she could to make him happy. She wanted him to stay despite knowing it was futile. He deserved to go back home, where he could be treated like the prince he was.

And where humans weren’t allowed unless they were dead.

---

OK I’ve let this “first chapter” sit here for a long while and I’ve tried to come back to it but I can’t so here is the rest of the plot:

The next day, they wake up to their village being seized by Sona’s kingdom’s army. Kai fights them and wins, but a soldier named Baekhyun finds Sona. Baekhyun is the one who freed Sona in the first place so even though Kai is like “WTFFFF IMMA KILL YOU,” Sona is like “lemme talk to Baekhyun.” Baek is like “yo, I admit defeat but like...you gotta come back with me to your kingdom.”

Kai is pissed.

Sona (the reasonable person she is) asks “why?”

Baekhyun: If you don’t, the king is gonna burn down the whole kingdom.

The kingdom is on the other side of the mountain. The inland side, so it doesn’t get much rain.

In comparison, Kai’s village is on the side of the mountain that faces the ocean and therefore gets hella rain.

The proper term for all of this is “rain shadow.” For reference, think of North America’s Rocky Mountains LOOOL

ANYWAY, Sona’s kingdom is dying once again because it’s a desert and only she was able to grow FUCKEN RICE IN A DESERT. So the king is calling her back or else he’s gonna set fire to a kingdom of starving people.

And why is Baekhyun so worried? BECAUSE HE’S GOT A GIRL BACK THERE ;______; He was ready to wife her!!!!!

Sona is like “nooooo :( moral duties!”

Kai’s like “FJKDALGHDKALFJDKSLJFDKALHGDKLSJ YOU CAN’T GO.....OK I KNOW YOU WANNA GO REALLY BAD BUT...JFKDALGHKS ok but like I’m coming.”

Sona’s like “no the humans hate demons. they’re gonna kill you :(((((((((( This is my fight.”

Kai’s like “LISTEN. TO. ME. LINDA.”

Ofc he has to be heroic and shit so Sona’s like “FINE. But you are only gonna be chaperoning me. I am NOT risking ur ass by taking you into a kingdom that hates anything ~magical~”

Kai agrees but more like “k watever”

ANYWAY, THEY GO.

Here is where I had a dilemma LOL I wanted them to go on a motorcycle because KIM JONGIN IS SO HOT ON A MOTORCYCLE LMFAO but why would a demon from a poor wittle village have a motorcycle....

So in my head, they rode on some motorcycle thingy that had a big black cloud veil and whatnot while Baekhyun rode his horse with the other nearly-dead soldiers behind them lol

They arrive at the kingdom and Kai is pissed af because he’s worried :( Yeah I hate when men do this because it’s a really bad way to channel your emotions but men are dumb and never change ALAS!

They get in a big fight and Sona has to leave to go into the kingdom while they’re still angry/ignoring each other.

Kai is all haughty and fuming, waiting in a tree and shit while he watches Sona be escorted past the gates of the kingdom....and the moment she is gone, HE STARTS REGRETTING EVERYTHING LMFAO

jokes on you!

Sona agrees to whatever the king says (idk what he says, lol my imagination didn’t care about this king) BUT THE KING GOES BACK ON HIS WORD BECAUSE HE’S SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT HIS KINGDOM IS PERISHING DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES OUT OF HIS CONTROL YET EVERYBODY THINKS IT’S HIS OWN FAULT so he sets fire to everything including himself. I feel like his brain’s going “If I can’t rule this kingdom, THEN NOBODY SHALL!”

He dies, but his orders were to have soldiers scattered around the kingdom so that once the king’s castle was lit on fire, these soldiers would know to start fires in their own places too.

Thankfully, they’re not ALL dumb as shit. Some decide that this is actually a bad idea, so they help evacuate whoever they can.

Ofc, our heroine helps too :’) She brings whoever she can out past the gates and then tries to bring some rain from the ocean.

While she’s working, she realizes that Kai is not at their meeting spot. She doesn’t see him at all, actually.

She’s scared but SHE HAS WORK TO DO!

So she’s all busy concentrating on bringing the rain past the mountains (she cannot gather enough water from the land around her to create a mass of precipitation because it’s a desert.......yes, i think about these things too)

BUT SHE’S STRUGGLING CUZ BITCH, THESE ARE SOME BIG MOUNTAIN RANGES AND IT WASN’T MEANT TO RAIN FOR ANOTHER MONTH.

Then she sees Kai running towards her carrying a whole cart of people (indeed, our man found a CART!)

She’s about to call him but then he runs back in and she’s like “OMFG I’M GONNA LOSE HIM” but that thought only stays for a split second cuz she still has to get the rain over here lol

The fire’s basically burned down the kingdom at this point. Kai has brought out many people (he’s fine in the fire because he’s a demon AND he has a cute protection charm hehehe) but then he sees Sona struggling and he looks up and sees the dark clouds forming on the other side of the mountain.

Guess what he does?

biiiiitch

Sona is like “O_O” when she suddenly looks over and KAI IS PUSHING THE MOUNTAIN RANGE OVER.

biiiitch he did that!

Rain pooooooooours down the mountain and starts dousing the fire. Problem is, everything is suddenly dark and the ground is slippery lol DIDN’T THINK OF THAT, HUH?

So they’re still scrambling to get survivors out. Towards the end, Sona is helping a family out when suddenly she slips because she’s human and there’s mud everywhere. Her ankle twists and she just sits there for a second as she sees Baekhyun call off the search. It’s been hours and everyone’s exhausted.

Kai turns back and starts walking towards Sona, and she’s shook because 1) HE’S HOT AF and 2) his eyes are blue and his hair is white...sound familiar??

THIS IS THE PERFORMANCE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-VX60sGRjo) THAT STARTED THIS WHOLE STORY IN MY HEAD LOOOOL SUCH A GOOD FANCAM! SUCH A GOOD LOOK! DO YOU SEE THAT CLOVER ON HIS NECK? YUM!

Anyway, he takes off his hat and holds out his hand with a smirk on his face and goes “Did I move enough mountains for you?”

JFKLADHGDKALFJDKSLGHDKALJFDKSL imma punch him

He pulls Sona up off the ground and sees that shes limping and suddenly drops his smirk. She’s like “no, it’s nothing” but ofc Kai has to be heroic and shit so he picks her up and VROOM VROOM they go off in their motorcycle back to the village LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

The whole way back though, they’re silent but for different reasons. Sona is hella sad because she’s sooooo in love with Kai but knows that she’s just drawing out something that’s gonna end badly. She wants to protect her heart, ya know!

Whereas Kai....has different reasons :)

So we get back to Kai’s place and Sona is washing up while Kai just sits on his little settee. When Sona’s done, she tells him to go wash up but he just grunts.

We love grunting. Why? CUZ HE’S BROODING?

WHY IS HE BROODING? DIDN’T THEY JUST SAVE A WHOLE KINGDOM?

Sona is thinking the same thing LOL but Kai directs her to lay down on the settee (isn’t it dirty, Kai??) and props her foot up on a couple pillows.

“Why do you still look like this?” she asks in a whisper, gently fingering through the strands of white on his head.

(a/n: sorry I had to /write/ that part out because it sets the mood a lot but DAMN i wanna barf at my own writing LOL just imagine everything is warm and candlelit, and Kai is attentively catering to Sona while she lounges on the settee)

Kai doesn’t meet her eyes. Just shrugs.

Okkkkkkk so obviously it’s a sensitive topic???

She continues to comb through his hair cuz it’s cute. And because he’s a wittle puppy (see: demon prince from hell), HE BREAKS WHEN SHE SCRATCHES THAT ONE SPOT ON HIS HEAD.

He grabs her wrist and takes deep gulping breaths.

Meanwhile, she holds her breath.

“I was banished from hell for not taking a mate.”

Her brows furrow and she starts to sit up but Kai pins her down with his hands. His blue eyes reflect the fire in the hearth.

“It was during mating season, and everyone was in a frenzy. My father found a girl for me. I remember she was so scared when she was brought into court.”

Kai takes a breath. Sona uses her other hand to stroke his hair, offering whatever comfort she could.

“I couldn’t do it.” He choked on his last syllable. “I couldn’t do such a horrible thing to a little girl who had screamed and cried until her voice was gone. They brought her to me when she barely had any fight left in her.”

Kai put his forehead against Sona’s shoulder. “Mating season meant you lost yourself. You had the hair and eyes of your inner demon, along with its mindset. But I refused to do anything to the poor girl, so I hid her away and sent her to the outskirts of the land.”

Sona let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding. “You did what was right,” she whispered.

He shook his head. “She couldn’t go back to her parents who would sell her again. She didn’t have anywhere to go. I was banished before I could find her again.” His body was shaking with grief. “She could be dead because of me.”

Sona cried for him. Cried for the man that tried to do the right thing and still had everything turn out wrong. Cried for the young girl that had no choice in what was done to her. Cried for the fact that Sona herself could not turn back time and undo all of it.

They stayed like that on the settee—Kai crouching on the rug in front of her—for what seemed like hours.

When he rose, his eyes were bloodshot and glassy.

Sona pushed him toward the tub, insisting he’d feel better after having a wash.

He came out looking ragged still, but cleaner. He took a seat on the ground in front of her again, staring into the fire.

“So it’s mating season for you again?”

He nodded. “It comes every five to seven years. That’s another reason why my father banished me. He needed an heir and I was unwilling to produce one, so he turned to my next brother.”

“You don’t seem...” Sona searched for the word, “animalistic to me.”

Kai shrugged. “I don’t like to let the demon rule me. It’s hard to control my body once instinct takes over.”

“I see.” She stared at the ceiling and fought a blush creeping across her cheeks, trying not to think of all the inappropriate things Kai would do to her if “instinct” had taken over.

Except, he wasn’t letting it, was he? He didn’t want to have sex right now. He didn’t want a mate right now.

Sona tamped down her disappointment and put on a smile, turning her head to look at him. “Well, if—” She bit off her sentence with a squeak when she saw Kai’s blazing blue eyes staring back at her.

His nostrils flared. “Why do I smell your arousal, Sona?”

She opens her mouth but closes it again when he rises above her.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks in a growl.

That just made the ache between her legs even worse. “I-I was just wondering about the demon side of you.”

His eyes glinted and she swore she saw fangs as he cracked a devilish grin. “What would you like to know?”

“Oh, just general stuff.” She waved her hands in the air. “Like what you eat in Hell, how you communicate with other demons, how you—”

He cut her off by pressing the calf of her broken ankle against the back of the settee. “How we mate?” He hiked up her nightgown and grinned at the sight before him. “Keep your bad leg still and I’ll show you.”

Sona almost came just from the hunger in his eyes, but she snapped out of her haze and clamped her hands down between her legs. “No.”

Kai blinked and looked up. “No?”

“No,” she bit out. Her body was so ready, but she couldn’t keep hurting the both of them like this. “I can’t mate with you.”

The fire in Kai’s eyes died as he backed away, still holding onto her leg so it wouldn’t drop forcefully onto the pillows.

Talking felt like pushing lead from her throat. “We can’t do this anymore, Kai. We are torturing ourselves.” She took a deep breath. “You have to know that I love you so much and you are the best person I’ve ever met, but I can’t be the right mate for you.”

A line set between his brows. “Why not?” he bit out.

“Because I can’t be what you need. You need a queen to go with you into Hell and run a whole Hell-dom there. Someone who can bring you back home where you belong, where your powers can flourish.” She couldn’t stop the whimper that followed. “Not a human who holds you back on Earth.”

His thumb stroked her calf, a kindness she didn’t deserve. Her heart was breaking into two and he was still her providing comfort.

Next thing she knew, he was kissing her. Gently on the cheek at first and then slowly grazing her lips.

“Kai,” she whispered between pecks. “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “So do you want to be my mate?”

“Kai!” She pushed against his shoulders.

He caught her hand and kissed it. “I heard what you said and I still want you. I want you whether you can come to Hell or not. It doesn’t matter, because I feel at home when I’m with you.”

Sona shook her head through the tears. “That doesn’t make sense.”

He kissed her, hard. “If I left this village, would it still feel like a home to you?”

“Of course not.”

“Would you go back to your kingdom?”

She vehemently shook her head.

“Then where would you go?”

Sona licked her lips. “I...I don’t know.”

“Me neither.” He kissed her again, crawling between her legs. “I would try to find you. I would want to be with you for the rest of my life, if you would have me.”

She wrapped her good leg around his waist. “Then please take me.”

He chuckled and nipped her on the shoulder. “Then promise not to move your bad leg.”

(THEY DO IT)

OK that’s enough /writing/ LOL so they do the dirty and suddenly they’re mated and Sona’s ankle is healed. Why? BECAUSE SHE GOT SOME POWERS FROM HER MAN. And Kai suddenly has a purple aura around him and he can move a couple clouds with just a thought. How? BECAUSE HE GOT POWERS FROM HIS WOMAN.

And they can both transcend into hell cuz she’s no longer human-human, CUZ WHY? CUZ SHE’S GOT A DEMON BABY BAKING INSIDE OF HER MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

the end.

ok now it’s time for a quick shameless plug :3 Red Velvet came back so of course I had to cover it! Please check it out and give us a like if you can :’’‘‘)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFmPgY_6wWQ

[randomfandomimagine]

Stupidly Obvious (Remus x Reader)

Character: Remus Lupin ft .Wingman Sirius Black

Fandom: Harry Potter/Marauders

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Gryffindor!Reader

Title: Stupidly Obvious

Requested by anon:

remus x reader where she’s best friends with the marauders(but she doesn’t know about the animagus stuff) and he has an obvious (not for her ofc) crush on her and they get him to ask her to the yule ball. but it’s a full moon and remus has to leave with a shitty excuse and reader is super sad bc she thinks she’s not good enough for him. reader leaves and goes to the shrieking shack, a secret hiding place of hers to be alone. there she meets the marauders in there animal form and she is super shocked that remus is a werewolf and he almost attacks her but sirius saves her & later in the morning when remus turns back they meet at the black lake alone&he says sorry & he wants to confess to her but he thinks she will never like a werewolf like him. So Sirius steps in and ends their misery by saying that they like each other so why don’t they just kiss.fluff pls thx♡♡

A/N: This is the first proper imagine of the Marauders I’m writing, so bear with me! I hope it was accurate and I got the characterization right and that it was any good :P

I smiled when I saw the four of them walking my direction, with James stupidly shouting my name to make me laugh and Sirius jokingly winking an eye at me. Peter smiled at me in silence, and Remus just stared at me shyly.

I had been friends with those four ever since we were all sorted in Gryffindor back in our first year, and Remus had never acted that way around me, and I couldn’t really understand why.

Lately he had been behaving strangely, they all had! But specially him, as he seemed always quieter than usual, not to mention flustered and shy. I asked him multiple times, but he would always brush it off or change the subject.

The other three weren’t much help either, because they would change the subject as well. I felt like I was missing something, not understanding those complicity glances and low giggles they sent each other.

“Hey, Y/N” James was the first one to speak up, stepping up and placing a friendly arm over my shoulders. “Remus here wants to talk to you”

“Really?” I replied, excited that he was willing to face me. “What is it?”

Remus finally seemed to relax his tense posture and his concerned expression as he warmly smiled at me.

“I wanted to…” He began to say, pursing his lips together as though he couldn’t find the right words.

“Just be honest and straightforward, Remus” Sirius whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear, just as he pushed his friend closer to me.

“I just wanted to ask you…” Almost asking them for support, Remus looked over his shoulder to the rest, who nodded encouragingly. “If you have a date for the dance”

“Not yet…” I pouted and rolled my eyes. “No one asked me”

“Would you go with me?” He asked instantly after, so fast that I hardly understood what he said.

“Yeah, sure!” I smiled in excitement, knowing how fun it would be to go with one of my best friends. “Such a good idea, just go with a friend! I should have thought-“

I interrupted myself because, behind him, James and Sirius were making weird gestures, shaking their heads and ushering me to stop talking. And Peter just watched me with wide eyes.

“Eh… exactly” Remus piped up in the end after a moment of silence.

He dedicated me a weak smile before he turned around and left where he came from. Peter followed him, and I noticed how he made wide gestures to him in an attempt to catch his attention.

“What the hell was that?” I asked Sirius and James, confused.

“Nothing, Y/N” James patted my shoulder, with a mysterious smile, and went to reunite with the others.

“Just… dress up for the dance and get pretty, okay?” Sirius chuckled as his arm casually fell over my shoulders.

We started walking to the Great Hall, and so I chuckled and pushed him a little.

“Are you saying I have to dress up to be pretty, Sirius?”

“I wouldn’t dare, Y/N, not unless I want to be turned into a frog”

*

I was oddly jittery when the day of the dance came. Everyone was rushing, pacing and hurrying as they prepared to go to the Yule Ball.

I stood before the mirror, watching my reflection thoughtfully. If it weren’t because my roommate assured me that I looked great, I would have been very self-conscious about it.

Honestly, I couldn’t understand why I was so nervous! I was just going to meet with my friend Remus and hang out with the rest of my friends as usual. With the small difference that we were all dressed up and we were going to a dance. Why was that any different from any other regular day?

Taking a deep breath, I left the bedrooms and passed through the Gryffindor Common Room until I made it to Great Hall, where the Yule Ball was being held at.

I glanced around looking for my friends until I found them. It wasn’t too hard, as they were being loud and rambunctious as usual. Smiling to myself, I walked over to them. They hadn’t noticed me yet.

James and Sirius were talking amongst them, and I could have sworn I heard my name being spoken in the conversation.  

“Don’t you know it’s rude to talk about someone behind their back?” I playfully told them, interrupting them.

“Y/N!” James smirked at me, eyeing me up and down.

“Wait until Remus sees you” Sirius chuckled in disbelief. “You look great!”

I glanced at Peter as he was silent, and he just smiled at me.

It was probably the first time we saw each other out of our usual school tunics, or at least into something so fanciy, and it was quite the sight. To witness them wearing tuxedo like outfits was strange yet oddly charming. And for once, James had managed to comb that mess of a hair.

“Where is he, by the way?” I asked them, strangely eager to see him.

“He was a little nervous, he’s taking his time” James winked at me in a way that I didn’t really understand.

I frowned and opened my mouth to ask, but Sirius interrupted me.

“Are you nervous, Y/N?” His smirk had a mischievous hint to it as he leaned an elbow over my shoulders.

“No…” I lied, gently pushing him away from me.

“You do look nervous” Peter pointed out.

“Shut up, I don’t!”

“You better not be lying, because here he comes”

I quickly turned around, hurriedly combing my hair hoping they weren’t messing with me. But indeed, there he was. Remus looked very handsome, and I nearly melted at the tender smile he dedicated me when he saw me. His eyes were dripping with fondness as he approached me.

“Y/N!” Kindly, he took my hands in his. “You look… beautiful! So beautiful!”

“You don’t look too bad yourself” I grinned at him.

I could hear Sirius and James muttering behind us, even giggling. But I was too smitten with Remus to pay attention to them.

*

It had been a lovely evening, like a beautiful dream. Perfect.

I had fun with my friends, slow danced with Remus and talked and laughed a lot. But all good things must come to an end. In this case, rather, the magic spell was broken when Remus left behind his calm yet jittery behavior, which was replaced with a panicked and hurried one.

Had I done something wrong? Was it something I said? Why did he look so frantic and worried all of a sudden?

“I knew this was a bad idea…” I heard him whispering to himself as he broke away from our embrace.

“Re-Remus?” I spluttered, completely astonished.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I have to go, I…” His eyes wouldn’t meet mine as he struggled to get away from me, despite my efforts to hold him back.

“What’s wrong?” I urged him, desperately trying to get him to stay, to linger in the closeness and intimacy.

“I… There’s something I… I’m sorry”

Seeing as he wasn’t giving me a clear answer, I turned to the other three. They exchanged glanced of concern in silence, almost forgetting I was there with them.

“We gotta go” Sirius hurriedly mumbled, urging them all outside.

“Sorry” Peter turned to me one last time before leaving me there. Alone.

Resigned, I sat down and heaved a big sigh.

I couldn’t understand, they didn’t give me a proper explanation! They didn’t give me an excuse, not even a crappy one! Was it really that bad?

It was me, wasn’t it? Remus noticed we were getting too affectionate and romantic and he didn’t like the idea of it. Was I not good enough for him? I thought he enjoyed being with me! Why did he abandon me like that then, so hurriedly? Did I really scare him off?

Maybe I was just deceiving myself thinking he might like me. Maybe he just left, dragging the rest along with him, because he saw things were getting out of hand. He just… ditched me!

I absently looked up, feeling a painful and empty sadness taking over me. All across the room were happy couples talking, dancing or laughing together. It was almost like they were reminding me what I could be doing at that moment with the boy that, I realized, I liked. That I really really liked.

I only noticed when I started craving something I didn’t have. Something that I nearly got but that was snatched from me.

Heartbroken and miserable, I stood up and left the dance. There was only one place I wanted to be at, and it was far far away from there.

A place that somehow helped me think and calm down when I was upset. Perhaps because of the feeling of isolation it gave me, that I could relate to when I was in a mood bad enough to seek it.

Taking advantage of the secret passage way of the Whomping Willow that the boys had told me about –which they discovered not too long ago and were planning to write down, along with the others that would someday hopefully help other lawbreakers like themselves -, I headed for the Shrieking Shack in the hopes that it would comfort me enough to then go back to Hogwarts.

*

I thought I might, but I didn’t cry. I just sat there, alone, trying to keep my mind blank. And eventually, the silent environment of the Shrieking Shack –even though everyone called it so, whenever I went there everything remained quiet, which confirmed that the abandoned house wasn’t haunted like the rumors said –along with the calm ambiance of the night, helped me calm down. I was still upset, of course, but I was feeling a little better.

Just as I wondered why the Shrieking Shack was called like that if I never heard any shrieking in it, a shrill scream sounded in the distance. I gasped, frightened, and stood up.

Absently brushing the dust off my dress, I stood up and stared at the direction the shriek came from.

Knowing the best idea would be to hide from the danger, I left the room and went to the next room when I heard hurried footsteps coming closer.

I peaked at the door, somewhat curious to see what was happening. Four voices talked over each other, frantic and almost panicked. But… they sounded familiar.

“We’re almost there, hold on!”

“Fight it, you can do it!”

“I can’t!”

“It’s too late!”

I gasped when I saw none other than Remus Lupin, being held down by James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Because it seemed like he was… changing. Shifting.

His features were elongating and becoming sharper and wilder. Almost like those of an animal. What was happening?!

Too worried to think straight, I jumped out of my hiding place and revealed my presence to them.

“Remus?” I muttered, even if my voice came out lower than I intended.

Startled by my sudden presence there, the three boys turned to me in awe. Until Remus fully shifted into a werewolf. And because they were distracted by me, he escaped from their grip.

I screamed as I saw him lunge at me, completely rid from his human side as the moonlight entered through the cracks of the planked windows. I should have known.

While I waited for him to inevitably tackle me and hurt me, my mind did something strange. It slowed time and I found myself thinking back.

Back to other nights that also happened to be full moon, in which Remus would excuse himself and disappeared for many hours. Back to the mornings he returned, worn out and exhausted, and would never explain what happened to him, no matter how much I asked.

Part of me always knew there was something going on. Part of me figured Remus was a werewolf, piecing everything together. But the conscious side of me preferred to see Remus as I always did. The calm, kind and gentle boy I liked so much.

The werewolf side of him clashed so much with the other one that I just refused to believe it. Until then.

When Remus was tackling me to the ground, hurting my arm as I hit it when I fell. I screamed out in pain and terror, but his fangs never made contact with my skin.

I realized I had shut my eyes tight when I had to open them to see what was going on. A big black dog was defending me, tearing the werewolf form of Remus away from me.

To make sure my friends were safe, I looked over to my friends. James and Peter were still there, but where had Sirius gone to?!

Unless… the black dog was Sirius.

Once Remus was temporarily dazed by the attack, the dog glanced at the boys and then at me. Without further ado, the dog turned back into Sirius, who gripped my wrist and dragged me away from there in a rush.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! What the hell is going on, Sirius?!”

“Remus is a werewolf”

“That much I figured myself”

“We became animagi to help him” Sirius urgently tugged at me so I would walk faster, never making eye contact. “James is a stag and Peter is a rat”

“Why hadn’t you told me?” I exclaimed, outrage by what I was just finding out. “I had the right to now!”

“We wanted to tell you” Sirius only stopped once we were at the end of the passage way, near the Whomping Willow. “But Remus refused, he was afraid of letting you know”

“Why? I don’t understand, Sirius, why…”

“There’s no time for that right now, you need to get to safety” He shook his head vehemently. “Besides, that’s not for me to say”

“But-“

“Go to school, and don’t come back here”

“What?! I’m not gonna-“

“Promise, Y/N”

Watching the urgency and concern in his eyes, I sighed and obliged.

“I promise, Sirius” I nodded and he nodded back.

Then he disappeared back inside to assist our friends on restraining Remus.

I resigned myself to keep my promise and went back to Hogwarts. And even though it was night time and everyone had left the ball to go to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get any sleep at all that night.

*

The next day everything felt hazy like a dream.

It was not strange in our wizarding world, but discovering the boy I liked was a werewolf and my best friends were animagi was quite the shock. I was still trying to completely wrap my mind around the idea.

However, I went to Remus in the Common Room and asked him to meet later. And there we were, even if we were supposed to be talking and we hadn’t said a word so far.

We just walked in silence, being awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe asking Remus to talk and sort things out wasn’t the best idea, but I refused to let him go so easily. Even if it was as a friend, I wanted to keep him around.

And for that we needed to clarify some things, like what happened the other day. I wasn’t stupid, I knew a werewolf when I saw one. But why did he keep it from me? Why did the rest of them know and not me? Did he not trust me?

Every now and then he would look at me and open his mouth, just to regret it and resign himself to remain quiet. I wanted to say something myself, but I didn’t know what. After all, he was the one that needed to explain himself.

Remus cleared his throat as we walked alongside the Black Lake.

“I’m sorry” He uttered in the end, finally breaking the suffocating silence.

“For what?” I piped up as well, but he didn’t reply.

I stared at him, silently urging him to speak up. But he just frowned and looked down to the ground. He seemed troubled.

“I knew you two would be here doubting yourselves and not confessing!” A voice said behind us, startling us.

As we looked over our shoulders, we saw our dear friend Sirius running our direction to catch up with us.

“Sirius, what…?” Remus began saying, but his friend’s glare shut him up.

“Wait, confessing?” I asked, eyeing them intensely.

“He thinks you will think differently of him for being a werewolf” I had never seen our friend so fed up, he even rolled his eyes tiredly.

“Why would I?” I turned to Remus, gently squeezing his upper arm to reinforce my words. “You can’t control it, it’s who you are when you’re Remus that matters to me”

With the corner of my eye, I saw Sirius grinning widely at my words. Almost proudly.

Remus, on the other hand, seemed taken aback by my response. He didn’t react at first, until he smiled just a little and locked eyes with me.

“Really? I thought that-“ He began to say, just to be interrupted by Sirius.

“Why don’t you just stop being stupid?” He shoved us both a little. “You like each other, it should be obvious!”

I felt my cheeks burning and knew that I was blushing. It was a cheeky thing to say, but it somehow reassured me despite my embarrassment.

I was right, Remus did enjoy being with me! He did like me! So it was probably his fear of rejection why he kept everything from me. It was that what held him back from telling me the truth, from telling me everything.

“It’s so stupidly obvious!” Sirius groaned in exasperation.

“So you do like me back” I uttered with a happy chuckle.

“Like you back?” Remus was dumbfounded, and I noticed he was blushing a little as well.

“There we go” Sirius seemed to finally calm down, because he crossed his arms in satisfaction. “Now kiss”

“Sirius…” I whined in annoyance. “You’re embarrassing-”

Remus did, in fact, kiss me. It took me by surprise and I probably blushed even more, judging by the bright chuckle coming from Sirius. But Remus was smiling at me as he broke away, in a wide and calm tender gesture.

That was the Remus I knew and loved. In fact, the Remus I now knew more.

[renaisty]

Some Flash rewatch things.

Can’t believe I forgot my fave lines.

“We’re not a two.”

“Oh no, we’re a one and one.”

The Barry and Joe relationship still owns my ass

With all its ups and downs and its less than perfect aspects. I love it, and I can do nothing about it. Generally the West family is so feelsy I cannot. They make me so happy T_T

I forgot how much I liked Barry and Linda together. So cute.

Seeing everyone lying to Iris about everything... So frustrating. Not a good call, people.

Really should’ve connected that footage from Barry’s lab to Wells spying on them.

Lots of stuff is much creepier this time around, thinking of that.

Huh. For some reason, I thought Barry and Caitlin had more screentime together...

Guess it’s the fandom. Oh well. At least now I remember how Caitlin and Cisco have more stuff going on between them than ppl tend to focus on.

The mood whiplash from the Linda as Dr Light episode... Oh my, I laughed more than ever on a Flash ep... and then. Everything was pain and misery and tears. Damn.

Caitlin’s insistence on there not being a Killer Frost on Earth 1. Ever.

Heartbreakingly hilarious, or hilariously heartbreaking? Take your pick.

Hunter Zolomon or what?

Man I feel stupid.

Ok but watching them navigate the new dynamics of the family with Wally is (while v awkward at times) soooo interesting and fun. I love it. I just... Rly rly love the West family.

Omgs Henry you have no idea what’s going on don’t. Why.

That moment when you’re like ‘there was 0 reason that someone needed to go with Cisco’ but also ‘woah it’s so awesome how Iris brought him back’.

I can’t decide. Hmm. #help

Idk if this is gonna sound weird but. I love when the team gangs up on Barry. When it’s justified of course. But yeah, love it.

I mean, personally I do think he wasn’t in the right mindset. But beyond that, maybe it’s just me, but you know. Good to let someone else make the decisions sometimes.

I kinda love Harry? Esp. by the time s3 rolls around, I want him around too. HR was fun-ish, but there’s only one Harry.

(’it’s gonna take a while even when i do meet them to get to the cuff stage’ - ok that comment was so worth having HR...)

Did I say the West dynamic with Wally could be awkward at first? Well. It has nothing on post-flashpoint dynamics omgs that second-hand embarrassment in the 2nd ep... I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.

Oh my gods everyone being so against Wally using his powers like I’m so. Mad. #LetWallybeKidFlash2k17!!

“That investment’s gonna pay off” welll. fuck.

“How do we know he isn’t spying on us right now?” Idk Barry, but I think Savitar might know everything you’re doing. You know, through the connection to you. Funny.

Oh man now that I’m looking for it, “I never asked for any of this, Joe.” as well as “Reverb told you you could be a god.” Are fucking. Dead giveaways. Especially the way he said ‘Joe’. Gods, save me.

Look. There’s only one thing I don’t understand. Why tf did he just... stand there?? Barry I-have-to-try Allen?? Just... standing there?? While Wally was ‘taken’ I guess?? Wtf was that?? *rages*

And ofc come next ep he’s 1k% willing to sacrifice himself for Wally. Yeah, saw that coming, that’s a given, but why man? Why did he just stand there? I am. Confused.

What is it with the Speed Force and creating clothes?

I mean, I get it it’d be awkward if they turned up less than clothed, but I’d love for someone to comment on it.

“I had a feeling.” Fuck. Fuck. The first time I assumed he’d Vibed it and was being cheeky about it, but oh no, now it’s so so much sadder not my bby *gross sobbing*

And in the next ep, oh my gods it’s so scary to see the ice head for his hands like, ‘oh no not this noo’. And then Barry fucking ran in front of him, and it reminded me of what he said, that’d he’d ‘fix it’. *more gross sobbing*

Ohhhhhh Joe and Cecile are such  a joy to watch.

‘You’re not so scary without your armor’ oh man so true. I could never get over that armor even on a rewatch, but I just... can’t be scared of that face.

You know you’re stupid when you don’t realize why it was ‘ironic’ that Savitar would keep it to himself until you’ve seen it three times. Why me.

Joe and Iris talking abt stuff and being happy-ish in the second-to-last ep... I love it so much, and the thought of everything actually made me cry T_T Such a sweet moment. Also, daaaaamn now they just need some dirt on Wally and the mischief family is complete heh

Wait. Savitar wanted Cisco to build him something before getting the memories that meant that Iris was alive... Does that mean he changed his mind about wanting to effectively commit suicide, or was that always his plan??? Hmmm things to think about.

I... it’d have been so easy for HR to run. It rly would’ve. But he stayed there and let Savitar kill him. I’m not his biggest fan but. Man. That took guts.

I’m not in the habit of getting taken in by pretty faced villains but. This is Barry. I’m. So ugh. Ugh. (Also, while I’m on the subject, did he use ‘every hour every minute’ like in the fucking song? I am. Cackling, I’m sorry.)

OH GODS NO THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THEIR HAPPY ENDING FUCK

[amant-quod-sagitta-te-amo-a-blog]

---Stray thoughts #4

An open letter to all the possible variations of the future - 'me' : - Dear future Jeril , It brings me great distress to tell you that you have been poisoned. Poisoned in a way that supersedes the intake of all the narcotics in this world put together in a cocktail.

Poisoned. To such a degree that you now derive sustenance and , quite ironically , hope from the intake.

Poisoned. By religion. A religion that was forced down your throat while your own opposition was tied down with thrice-damned  notions of morality and the all-pervading  fear of Hell .

Poisoned. By your own parents. Your mother , whose bosom spawned lies while you sucked on relentlessly , hoping that you'd derive sustenance in a flailing world.

Your father , whose love was and is as twisted as the ridges of a narcissist's morality . Whose "faith" is ever misleading ; based on scripture that he professes to the point of obsession yet is hollow from the inside-out.

Amidst this chaos is you , Jeril.

You and your perception of the world. Your morality , twisted beyond recognition. Your worldview , that accuses those around you of things unseen to gain retribution for egging you on to misery with their coercive , honey-laden speech.

This is the truth and You will deny it vehemently , holding on to the quagmire of life , finding a grim form of stability in it.

You speak of God ? What do you know about him?

An all pervading , omnipresent , omniscient being full of love?

Look at the world he created. Look at the social dichotomy of the world he envisions. Hell and Heaven.

Hell For criminals whose crimes range from petty thefts and lies to mass genocide. The only uniformity being the punishment. A punishment that does not even meet "humanitarian standards" of imprisonment. Standards , that all humanity has sought to strive for ; on paper , at the very least.

The vehemence with which these "religious experts" oppose opposition to their doctrines points to their hypocrisy like no other indicator.

Does a person , sure of his/her beliefs , bite at opposition like a rabid dog ? Or does he/she find comfort in delivering his/her message with the same 'love' that he/she claims that their deity is composed of.

The Sunday School (or any other religious 'warehouse' for that matter)  , steers clear of open debates on issues like homosexuality  ,creationism, feminism and atheism amongst many others.

Why ? Because they know , fully well , that if questioned on argumentative basis , not one ! NOT ONE of their claims will stand. That is also why  they have taught you , explicitly or otherwise , that the mere act of questioning the "deity's" laws is a grave crime and must be avoided at all costs . Sadly enough , this cowardice in their teachings does not  / has not elicit(ed) a desire to take the initiative and do it yourself , knowing fully well that you might do a pretty good job at it. Why ? Firstly because , you (or atleast the current version of you) just like your parents , defend your beliefs with vehemence that rivals the death throes of a trapped animal that assumes that the knife that descends upon it  , is to maim and not to cut it free from the trap.

That vehemence will seep in to your rationality and when you seek to liberate with that mindset , you will ensnare instead ; driving many others onto the very dire fate you are placed in.

Secondly , any initiative of this kind can only be made when the one you wish to defend (which , quite ironically,in this case is the omnipotent God himself) has a place in your heart , carved out of absolute devotion , love and respect NOT deference , fear and submissiveness . As of now , at the very least , you do not feel any of that and if you claim to , you feign and quite conveniently indeed!

When asked why they 'serve' (as opposed to love ) God , amongst many other questions , many claim that they were just as skeptical as I am  now until one day there came a catastrophe in their lives , bringing pain and regret nipping at its heels.

They "gave their lives for God" at that point saying that they would serve him forever if he could get them out of this situation.

They smile and say "God sent that storm in my life so that I could become a new creation in Jesus." The crowd cheers on when they say that in conventions.

At which point , I struggle to subdue the nausea and abhorrence I feel at their borderline - maniacal take on life .

To put things in perspective , the above scenario is completely identical to a monarch ,or any power-wielding person , placing a gun to the head of his subject and forcing a submission out of him.

If that happened in real life , then Jesus wouldn't be at /on "God's right hand today" , he'd be in jail! (or worse ,sodomised with a knife right before a gruesome death ;  look up Muammar Gaddafi's death for how that'd play out. )

In conclusion , I hold a sense of respect for all forms of mono/poly-theistic religion but if you are gonna shove down 'love' for a deity that you claim to be the One True God , you might as well allow me to find / give me a reason WHY I'm swallowing WHAT I'm swallowing (apart from taking the safety off the fucking gun ofc!)

Sidenote: To all the fuckers who now have the question : "Why are you so pessimistic bro? Think positive , be positive !" To them I say . . . Fuck you! I won't chant "Great is your faithfulness" while the world burns down tearing the skin off my bone! I might as well chant "Kumbaya" and hope that someone is taking a video to post on Instagram.

P.S : Do you see how vehement the latter part of this letter has become? Tsk.Tsk.

[fanfic-scribbles]

Lunch Buddy: Chapter Four

Masterlist

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Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they’ll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 4: Crowned

Chapter Summary: Steve gets a little moody, and his new acquaintance sets the record straight.

Chapter Word Count: 1218

A/N: Nothing really to say; please enjoy.

   Steve was in a mood.

He sort of had been for a while, but it started off weird. At first he was just quiet, and that was fine. It had seemed fine, at least. Then he disappeared for a week or so and when he started coming back he was completely silent and really tense. His jaw looked so locked in place I almost commented on it looking painful, but I recognized that he probably didn’t want to talk. About anything.

So I tried to let it be. But then he started avoiding me entirely. The day he came in, gave me a little nod, and then went to a table on the other side of the shop made me go over everything I had said to him over the past couple of weeks, and then everything I had said to him ever. I was not…completely thoughtful all the time. But even scouring over every social interaction I’d ever had with the guy didn’t bring anything to mind that might have set him off. Granted, my memory was shit, but the most likely reason was that whatever he was dealing with was his own thing. So I continued to leave him alone.

Except then the weather took a turn for the worse. Well, subjectively. I thought the clouds were nice, but the accompanying cool air made the inside of the café more crowded. One day it was so full that when Steve showed up there were no tables open. I happened to notice him as he scanned the room and I wondered if he would leave, but he saw my table and actually came over. And it was my table he saw, not me, even though I made no bones about watching him.

When he arrived he flumped down, like he was actively pissed there were no other spots open. It was…surprising, and when he noticed me staring he blinked, and took a moment– like he was just figuring out human propriety. “Sorry,” he said. “Can I sit here?”

I opened my mouth to say ‘of course’ but stopped and examined his stormy mood. Instead, I gave a short nod and focused on my book, like I was ignoring him. He sighed and hunched over his sketchbook to take his frustration out on paper with pencil.

~

After that, he wasn’t unwilling to sit with me, but the storm clouds followed him for days. Ironically, it was a day the real clouds finally opened up that he actually looked more relaxed. I still approached the table warily, but he said, “Hi,” and greeted me with a smile.

“Hey,” I said as I dumped my bag in one chair and my body in another. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he said. “I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk lately.”

“It’s okay; you haven’t been,” I said and pulled out my notebook.

“You don’t have to make me feel better.”

“I’m not. Because I am a jerk. For a lot of reasons.” I lifted my head to look at him. “But not talking to people when I don’t feel good is not one of them.”

He looked unconvinced, but he nodded like message received. He didn’t go back to his (still blank) page though; he sat there and fidgeted with his pen. I stopped. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” he said. He grimaced. “Yes? Sort of; I…” He looked around but it was busy enough that no one noticed or showed any signs of giving a shit. He looked at me for a few seconds. “Do you pay attention to the news at all?”

“Nah; I can manufacture my own misery just fine.”

He smiled a little and dropped it just as fast. “We…the Avengers don’t really do much. I work mostly with SHIELD,” he said. “But recently we got called out to a…problem.”

I probably couldn’t have found anyone dumb enough to take my bet that he was understating that. He went on. “I don’t want to talk about it specifically, but I thought it had gone as well as it could. Better than I expected, for sure. Minimal casualties and the damage to the infrastructure was nothing like the Chitauri attack here. But people were still…” He frowned and stared at nothing.

“Ungrateful?” I prompted.

“That’s not the word,” Steve said and shook his head. “I get why they’re angry, but some of that anger is from what they expect us to be. Infallible. Way more…‘heroic,’ I guess, than we are. Than we act. Especially m– …And I just…I don’t get it.” He shrugged like it was nothing but he couldn’t quite fix the hangdog expression on his face.

“They always say ‘never meet your heroes,’” I said. “I guess some people can’t help themselves when they find out you’re human.”

“Is that why people are always so disappointed with me?” he murmured, like he didn’t want to be heard.

Well too fucking bad for him. “We both know that’s not always the case,” I said. “You’ve got people coming up and being amazed by you. At least one of whom was directly involved in what happened here. As she told you. For twenty minutes.”

“She was nice,” Steve said, defensively.

“She was,” I said. “I know it doesn’t make up for the assholes, but if you’re doing your best it’s all anyone can ask; some things none of us have control over. And you’re not a disappointment, not to everyone.” I leaned back in my chair. “Besides– I think you’re pretty fuckin’ swell.”

His eyes widened and his smile looked weird, with how he tried to repress it. “‘Swell,’ huh?” he said dryly.

“The bee’s knees,” I said, just as flat.

The pressed-lips look fell as he laughed and he took up his drink while I was finally able to unwrap my muffin. “I still think I was pretty cold to you though,” he said. “So I’m sorry.”

I shrugged, because there was nothing to forgive. “It’s pretty impressive that you being a jerk actually makes you less irritating than most other people.”

“I was pretty off,” he said and crossed his arms. “Maybe I should show you what a real jerk I can be.”

“No thanks; if you’re going to be a real jerk I’d rather you shove an old lady or steal candy from a baby.”

“If I’m going to be a real jerk though, shouldn’t I be a jerk to people who are nice to me?”

“Theoretically yes, but my jerkiness means I don’t want you to be a jerk to me. Better the innocent and unsuspecting.” But I wasn’t really that hungry, so I broke my muffin in half and slid part over to him.

“Careful,” he said, smiling as he pulled it closer. “Or you won’t be a jerk anymore.”

“Nuh uh; I gave you the smaller half, even though you’re bigger than me. I’m still Queen Jerk.”

“For now.”

“Mm hm.” I took a bite of my food and a sip of my lukewarm drink. “Yeah, sure, the guy who almost went through a plate glass window trying to get the door for someone is going to be the Prime Jerk. Right.”

His blush was pretty rewarding, and set that argument right to bed.

It was good to be queen.

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