#and oh my god. i wanted to literally cry for 5 hours straight

[radio-ronpa]

Disney I want songs for each V3 character, go!

I got this a few days ago and I've been ruminating on it. I think I've finally settled on them? Plus notes on why I picked that song.

Here's the rules: Has to be from an official Disney Animated Classic (no Pixar, live action, or straight to vid sequels). Must occur within the run time of animation (no songs that only appear in the credits, ala True to Your Heart from Mulan). Only one song can be used from a particular film.

Let's fucking goooooo.

1. Angie Yonaga - Give a Little Whistle (Pinocchio)

Have you ever seen Jiminy Cricket and Atua in the same place? Think about it.

2. Gonta Gokuhara - The Bare Necessities (The Jungle Book)

Optimistic, joyous, and appreciative of all of life's moments, even if they are very small.

3. Himiko Yumeno - The Next Right Thing (Frozen 2)

If there was a DRV3 stage musical, this would be the number she does at the end of Trial 3. It's literally perfect.

4. Kaede Akamatsu - Good Company (Oliver and Company)

The scene with this song in the movie is literally a piano lesson, and it's about being friends and having faith in that. How could I not?

5. Kaito Momota - Go the Distance (Hercules)

Oh, I want to be a hero because I feel like I don't belong anywhere and I want to be strong enough to give my friends good hugs? Herc and Kaito are both beautiful himbos.

6. Kiibo - Strangers Like Me (Tarzan)

I mean, Keebs is real Pinocchio sometimes, but I started crying imagining him to this song. He's so earnest and I love that for him.

7. Kirumi Tojo - Very Good Advice (Alice in Wonderland)

Classic, underappreciated, and sad as fuck.

8. Kokichi Ouma - The World's Greatest Criminal Mind (The Great Mouse Detective)

Look, this song is just fun and chaotic and delighted by its own mischief. There's so many ways you can go with Kokichi, but I had to pick this one for sheer giggles.

9. Korekiyo Shinguji - Never Smile at a Crocodile (Peter Pan)

JUST READ THE FUCKING LYRICS.

10. Maki Harukawa - Reflection (Mulan)

It's cliche. It's also true.

11. Miu Iruma - The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers (The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh)

Kind of unhinged and still somehow endearing. Miu Iruma is bounchy flouncy fun fun fun fun fun.

12. Rantaro Amami - Thomas O'Malley Cat (The Aristocats)

The fucking swagger. The worldliness. The feet that can't stop moving. (Of course Rantaro is my favorite character. I adored that cat.)

13. Ryoma Hoshi - Not in Nottingham (Robin Hood)

For the love of god, somebody hug that man.

14. Shuichi Saihara - This Wish (Wish)

If The Next Right Thing is Trial 3 of the DRV3 Disney musical, This Wish is the end of Trial 6. This is Shuichi standing up and telling the villain that they're not going to give in to despair, honoring Kaede's wish with his own. Plus, it's a princess song. I gotta give the main protag the princess song.

15. Tenko Chabashira - Surface Pressure (Encanto)

Tenko doesn't have a complex about being strong and defending people, what gave you that idea?

16. Tsumugi Shirogane - Mad Madam Mim (The Sword in the Stone)

Using your powers of shapeshifting to delight in causing despair and gloom? Can't relate.

This was a wild three hours of research and spreadsheets, and it was delightful fun to do.

Thanks, anon.

[goldfades]

another jump then fall au thought. adam going on a long roadie (ie west coast teams) after being home with his injury. poor paloma is literally inconsolable bc her dad was just home and all of a sudden he's just gone for like a week and shes still to young to understand. and poor cece doesn't know what to do because no matter how much she tries the first couple days she wont stop crying :(

oh my god, YES!!! and cece just doesn't know what to do and is freaking out bc paloma has never given her a hard time until then

─ warnings mentions of overall exhaustion, babies crying (who would have guessed), and adam being a sweetie AND SOME CECE/ADAM FLUFF????!???!

─ wc 805

Cece's head pounded as Paloma's cries rang throughout the apartment, her body sore and exhausted. She couldn't even hear her own thoughts at this point, Paloma was inconsolable. Adam had stayed home for the last couple of weeks because of his injury and Paloma had gotten so used to it but now that he's gone again, Paloma was devastated.

Cece tried every trick in the book to soothe her. She rocked Paloma gently, sang lullabies and even tried to distract her with her favorite stuffed animal, but nothing seemed to work. Paloma's face was streaked with tears, her tiny fists clenched in frustration.

She felt like she had failed Paloma and Adam, she thought that she could soothe Paloma even in the worst cases but she was quickly proven wrong. She tried everything and yet Paloma's cries only seemed to worsen. Cece's heart ached with a sense of helplessness as she watched the baby she had grown to love suffer in distress.

With a heavy sigh, Cece gently scooped Paloma into her arms, cradling her close. She whispered soothing words, trying to calm both herself and the inconsolable baby. As she paced the apartment, Cece's mind raced with worry and doubt. She questioned her abilities as a nanny, feeling the weight of responsibility bearing down on her shoulders.

As the night wore on, Paloma's cries slowly subsided, replaced by the rhythm of her breathing as she drifted off to sleep. Cece watched over her with a sense of relief, despite the aching she felt in her head. Cece held Paloma on her chest as she fell asleep, not wanting to risk waking her up and starting the whole thing again.

──

"I'm sorry she's been giving you a hard time." Adam's voice rang through the speaker of her phone, echoing in the bathroom. The phone leaned on her water bottle as Cece put on her make-up as Adam talked to her through FaceTime.

Cece gave Adam a tired smile. "No worries, it's all part of the job. I just feel bad because she's probably just as tired as I am, if not more. It takes a lot of energy to cry for 5 hours straight." Cece jokes as Adam's laugh echoed throughout the bathroom.

Adam studied Cece through the phone, she looked exhausted but she still managed to emphasize and smile. That was exactly why he liked her so much.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Adam's voice was filled with genuine admiration as he praised her. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Cece. You've been such a blessing to us."

Cece's heart swelled with warmth at Adam's words. Despite the exhaustion weighing heavily on her, knowing that she was appreciated made it all worth it.

"Thanks, Adam," she replied, her voice soft with gratitude. "I love being a part of your lives. Paloma means everything to me, and you do too."

He smiled back at through the FaceTime as she continued putting on her makeup. "Let me repay you, Cece."

"You already pay me, Adam, you don't need to-"

"I'm gonna Apple Pay you a couple dollars for a Redbull, okay? You need it." Adam's voice was teasing but she could tell he was trying to make the whole thing easier for her.

Cece couldn't help but chuckle at Adam's gesture. "You're too kind, Adam. But really, I'll survive. Just knowing that you appreciate what I do means more to me than anything."

Adam's smile softened, his eyes reflecting his sincerity. "I know you will, Cece. But I still want to do something to show my gratitude. And plus don't you have that Chem test tomorrow morning?"

Cece groaned at the mention of the test. "Fine, Adam you win."

With a playful grin, Adam nodded triumphantly. "That's my girl. Just promise me you'll take care of yourself, okay? You work so hard, I don't want you burning yourself out."

"Thank you, Adam. You're too sweet, you didn't have to." Cece felt a rush of warmth as she heard Adam's words, her heart doing a little flip.

"I know, I wanted to."

Adam's gaze held a tenderness that made Cece's heart flutter. "Well, I appreciate it more than you know," she replied softly, her voice filled with genuine gratitude.

Before Adam could reply, Paloma's soft cries were heard from the bedroom. Cece's smile faltered slightly as she heard Paloma's cries, her whole body aching. "Looks like duty calls," she said with a sigh, already moving to attend to Paloma.

Adam nodded understandingly, his eyes reflecting his unwavering support. "I'll let you go then. Take care of our little princess, Cece."

Our little princess, that sounded nice coming from Adam. Cece's heart did another flip, her affection for both Adam and Paloma swelling in her chest. "I will," she replied, her voice filled with determination.

main masterlist

jump then fall masterlist

[jbaileyfansite]

Interview with Interview Magazine (2024)

Before he was known as the dashing Lord Anthony Bridgerton or Tim Laughlin, the character in Fellow Travelers for which he won a Critics Choice Award earlier this month, Jonathan Bailey caught the attention of Phoebe Waller-Bridge with his confident, self-possessed audition for her show Crashing nearly a decade ago. “You came in like a fireball,” said the Fleabag star on Zoom with Bailey, recounting how, while reading for the role of the sex-obsessed Sam, Bailey asked permission to lay his script out on the floor in front of him like a rainbow. “You had no embarrassment. You didn’t actually refer to it again, but you took those few seconds to just completely set up what you exactly needed for that audition, and then you were so free.” In the years since, with roles in Bridgerton, the Showtime drama Fellow Travelers, and the upcoming Wicked movie adaptation, Bailey has become one of the most sought-after actors in the business, capable of generating sparks with whoever’s on screen with him. Waller-Bridge attributes this to the 35-year-old’s distinct understanding of tension. “You’re like a chemistry machine,” she gushed. “There’s this incredible erotic energy that people are so excited about.” Last week, from a hotel room at Claridge’s in London, Bailey talked to Waller-Bridge about longing, orgasms, frosted tips, nostalgia, Shakespeare, and his very first role: playing a raindrop in a stage production of Noah’s Ark.

PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE: Hi.

JONATHAN BAILEY: Hi.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I’m taking my glasses off. Now I can be real.

BAILEY: I’ve just had a gin and tonic, actually. I had a meeting and he really wanted a glass of Whispering Angel, so I was like, “Well, I’ve got to dive in.”

WALLER-BRIDGE: What’s the time there?

BAILEY: Oh, I’m literally around the corner from you. Literally, I’ve come into Claridge’s Hotel and checked in for an hour just to have a Zoom.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Oh, god. That’s so chic. Jonny, I want all of your secrets.

BAILEY: I feel like you’ve got quite a few of them already.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I do, actually. And we’re not going to talk about any of those. But I did also get to do a little bit of research on you.

BAILEY: Oh, god. What have you got?

WALLER-BRIDGE: Jonathan Stewart Bailey, I’d like to jump straight in with the fact that the first professional job you had was playing a teardrop, or a raindrop?

BAILEY: There were teardrops, but yeah, I was playing a raindrop.

WALLER-BRIDGE: You were a crying raindrop.

BAILEY: A crying raindrop in Noah’s Ark.

WALLER-BRIDGE: And how old were you then?

BAILEY: I think I was about 5 going on 29. I was really upset because it didn’t rain. The bitch that played Noah, she forgot the cue for the rain to come. So my dance didn’t make it, but at the end of the show they allowed me to do it once everyone had applauded.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I asked you that specifically because you’ve also said that your grandmother took you to see a production of Oliver in London and that’s what changed everything.

BAILEY: Yes.

WALLER-BRIDGE: So was the raindrop before or after that? I am getting to something, I promise.

BAILEY: I think it was probably afterwards. I was really young when I went to see Oliver.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I’m interested because I read that seeing it made you decide you wanted to perform. Can you tell me the specific thing that made it click?

BAILEY: I’ll tell you, the most bizarre thing is that I had three seasons at the RSC under my belt by the age of nine. There was a moment where I played Prince Arthur, the kid in Shakespeare who gets his eyes gouged out and has to escape a turret. I remember doing that production and thinking I was aware of the power of words, if that makes sense. You’re so porous at that age, I think. It is such a gift, isn’t it, to be shown what iambic pentameter is.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you still feel passionate about Shakespeare now?

BAILEY: I do, actually. It’s my dirty, filthy habit.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Your dirty little habit. I know what you mean, though, how if you come to it quite raw, and it’s not something that you’ve had shoved down your throat at school, there is nothing more epic and spectacular.

BAILEY: And being around people who are just so committed to their vocation, whether they’re writing or creating. The smell backstage at the RSC at the Barbican was like cigarettes, stage makeup, Joe Fiennes, and hope.

WALLER-BRIDGE: That’s a lot of beautiful smells you’ve got going on there.

BAILEY: I know. Talk about top notes and bottom notes. I was like, “These men, these titans of theater!”

WALLER-BRIDGE: That’s extraordinary that you were exposed to that kind of level of professionalism. Because you are consummately professional, and I remember that. You have this incredible ability to be completely live and spontaneous and wild at the same time as being so incredibly professional, and that’s why working with you felt totally safe. I know that I’ve got a professional actor coming today, but I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen because you still managed to keep that spontaneity and danger.

BAILEY: I suppose it’s sometimes dangerous. Today I had to do an interview. Crashing came up and I described working with you as being on the constant edge of an orgasm and also hysteria.

WALLER-BRIDGE: It did have a kind of wild, beautiful energy.

BAILEY: There’s a chemical alchemy when you get the right group of people led by the right people.

WALLER-BRIDGE: I haven’t had that in quite the same way since, where everyone has equal importance in the story. That’s the thing that feels quite rare, actually, there’s like six of you and they’re all as fucked up as each other. I remember your audition. You came in like a fireball and you already felt like you had a Sam energy. You sat in your chair, took out your script from your bag, and then you were like, “Give me a second,” and you laid out your script around you on the floor. You had no embarrassment about what you needed or in front of you. You didn’t actually refer to it again, but you took those few seconds to just completely set up what you exactly needed for that audition, and then you were so free. And I just wonder if you’ve felt that particular type of confidence your whole life?

BAILEY: That’s a really good question. I’ve got three older sisters and I wonder if they are a structure. I’ve definitely been in environments where I don’t feel free, and then you give the worst performance of your life. What I’ve found in the last few years is that, of course, you have to adapt so quickly to work out what you need in order to be able to be free. I think if I don’t have the equivalent of that on the floor, I panic or get really scared.

WALLER-BRIDGE: There’s something about that, which is being able to play dangerously in a safe environment. I feel like that’s got so much to do with an understanding of tension, which I think you have. You’re like a chemistry machine. Obviously, with Bridgerton and then in Fellow Travelers, there’s this incredible erotic energy that people are so excited about.

BAILEY: I really think it comes from Crashing.

WALLER-BRIDGE: It doesn’t come from Crashing, it comes from you. I think you’re the king of tension. I think you understand what that is.

BAILEY: I think you can give yourself butterflies, can’t you?

WALLER-BRIDGE: Is that what you’re looking for, the butterfly all the time?

BAILEY: Yeah, I’m always looking for my butterfly farm. The misty, slightly smelly greenhouse full of butterflies.

WALLER-BRIDGE: That’s your tummy?

BAILEY: Yeah, that’s my tummy.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Did you always dream of playing leading man roles growing up?

BAILEY: Not at all, no. I never thought I would be able to.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Why?

BAILEY: I’ve realized that I’m completely in awe of other people and performances and creative endeavors. I go to the theater and I love a performance and I’m like, “How do they do that? I can’t see the seams.” So therefore, I feel like I must be driven by that. And when something comes my way, there’s a fear that it won’t work.

WALLER-BRIDGE: What’s really exciting to me is when I see palpable dynamics between characters, which you have done multiple times, like the relationship between Tim and Hawk. There’s so much opportunity for intimacy and that kind of danger. And when you get to play those sorts of roles, when you know that you can stand in front of each other and you don’t really need to do anything because it’s giving you something, it must’ve just been a joy walking into this world because it’s like a banquet of stuff to play with, right?

BAILEY: Totally, and it feels sort of vital and sexy. I do remember this one memory, which I guess I’ll share with you now. I did play and there was a tiled wall,at eye level with a mirrored border around. And there was a guy, we were into each other, and I remember just looking up in the middle of a conversation and he was looking at me in a reflection. And I was like, “This is what life is about.” Anyway, I think that it must have something to do with feeling the most alive in that.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you know Esther Perel?

BAILEY: Yeah, I love Esther Perel.

WALLER-BRIDGE: So she’s written about how she believes that your next orgasm begins at the very end of your last one, which is basically our whole life just building up to our next orgasm.

BAILEY: That’s just fantastic. It’s just so positive and hopeful—

WALLER-BRIDGE: And so beautiful, isn’t it?

BAILEY: It is.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Everything that you encounter in your life, every conversation that you have, is in some way building up to the next euphoric physical experience. Every single character has to have that inside them one way or another, because every human does. And I think with Fellow Travelers, because you long for them so much as an audience and you want them to have everything that they want from each other, but they’re also brutal to themselves and to each other, there is something so extraordinary seeing characters in that time portrayed in the way that you guys have portrayed them.

BAILEY: One thing that we’re all born with is the sense of longing. Longing comes before anything else, doesn’t it? Whoever you put on the wall, laminate the poster or whatever, it’s there. And actually, if you long for someone, more often than not you don’t think you are worthy of it. And that, to me, is a way into characters.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you remember your laminated poster longing person?

BAILEY: I think I had the Simpsons, which was obviously me trying to disguise myself as much as possible. Lucy Liu was a big one for me, too.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Well, I can see that.

BAILEY: I suppose there’s the laminated wall in my literal bedroom and then there’s the laminated wall in my gay—

WALLER-BRIDGE: Mind.

BAILEY: Who was yours?

WALLER-BRIDGE: You know what? It’s really interesting, because I was the eagle in the Rescuers Down Under. That wasn’t necessarily a sexual longing, but it was a romantic idea, that overwhelming sense of watching the Rescuers Down Under and being able to run out of the back of my house on my own, age 10, and jump onto the back of a giant eagle and he’ll fly me around. But in terms of just a hottie that I really fancied, I think it was probably Leo [DiCaprio].

BAILEY: Oh, yeah.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Are you a nostalgic person?

BAILEY: Yes, I think so. I think a lot about my younger self. I’m always like, “Guys, remember this?” It’s slightly annoying, but I’m always drawing a line between the past and now for sure.

WALLER-BRIDGE: That’s how you measure your life, by remembering the time that’s gone by or what 11-year-old you would think of what you were doing?

BAILEY: I think I’m probably more romantic than nostalgic, if that makes sense.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Go on.

BAILEY: Well, I just think I’ve fully committed to the idea of everything being brilliant and then I work backwards from there.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Well, having starred in two hit period dramas and also being a huge part of the fact that they are a hit, that’s why I wondered about what your relationship is with the past and history, and how much you actually knew about McCarthy America?

BAILEY: Oh, no. Have you got a quiz?

WALLER-BRIDGE: I actually don’t. Do you want one?

BAILEY: No, that would be the worst.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you enjoy historical novels? Do you live in the past in any way in your mind? Or you are kind of like, “We’re here and we’re moving forward?”

BAILEY: I do think I’m here and moving forward. I really struggled with history at school, I could not take in information about the past. When it came to exams, I would remember the page where things were written but I couldn’t stitch together epochs and eras and kings.

WALLER-BRIDGE: It crashes my brain, too. I have a friend, and you can say to her, “June 24th, 1999,” and she can tell you pretty much what she was up to.

BAILEY: That’s amazing.

WALLER-BRIDGE: You can see her go into the diary in her mind. She has a very different wiring of her brain. But speaking of longing, are there any fictional or real life couples, gay or straight, that captured your heart over the years?

BAILEY: Oh my god, what a question. What about Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine?

WALLER-BRIDGE: I think Morticia and Gomez Addams were the most romantic couple.

BAILEY: Yeah, I see that.

WALLER-BRIDGE: They understood it. They got it all.

BAILEY: Also maybe Ryan and Marissa in The OC.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any gay male couples that you ever looked up to or were romanced by?

BAILEY: Well unfortunately, there just weren’t that many were there growing up.

WALLER-BRIDGE: So wild.

BAILEY: But I met Matthew Rhys recently, who I just love. And I was thinking about that relationship in Brothers and Sisters. And then there was Queer as Folk. Russell, T. Davies changed the game. So many people owe so much to him just purely for visibility. There is no Tim and Hawk to a 2023 audience without Queer as Folk.

WALLER-BRIDGE: But did you feel frustrated?

BAILEY: Well, speaking of history, I was doing media studies with an amazing teacher and I decided that I was going to do my dissertation about the representations of Hutus and Tutsis and the Rwanda genocide, looking at Hotel Rwanda and Shooting Dogs. And then Brokeback Mountain came out and I was like, “Hang on, how can I possibly create a world where I can go and have a free pass to go to the cinema to watch it 10 times?” I’m really proud of my 17-year-old self, I wasn’t necessarily out, but I changed the topic to representation of homosexuality in Brokeback Mountain and I watched that film 10 times. And this amazing teacher, Dr. Brunton, who probably had an idea of what was going on, was just like, “This is brilliant, keep going, keep going.” And I think it was the best mark I ever got.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Do you still have it?

BAILEY: It must be on a hard drive upstairs in the attic. And obviously, that completely changed me, something chemical happened there. But it’s funny, I’m not clear on memories. And I do think it’s a common thing for a lot of people, growing up and having to survive and be basically in fight or flight, there’s a murkiness to how I recall.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Of course, because you couldn’t be truly present because you weren’t being completely yourself.

BAILEY: Totally, yeah.

WALLER-BRIDGE: When you look back and start unpacking it, do you feel overwhelmed with sympathy for how hard you were having to work as a 16-year-old, coming up with excuses to see the movie that you wanted to see?

BAILEY: Yeah. But I spent more time trying to be sympathetic towards the people that were around me who didn’t support or couldn’t help. I look back and I go, “Hell.”

WALLER-BRIDGE: Yes. But you are representing that and living that for so many people now. Your speech at the Critics Choice Awards the other day was so sublime and beautiful and straight from the heart. You are so electric as a human being and that is the most important thing. There aren’t many people in the world that can do that, that can stand there in front of people and speak from their heart about what it means to them to be given this opportunity. And I know that your career is just going to be the most extraordinary journey. When I first met you, I remember sitting with Josh [Cole], who was the producer on Crashing, and we were like, “If we get this guy, it’s going to be the game changer for the show.” And I know that every single person now wanting you on their project is feeling the same thing.

BAILEY: I definitely feel overwhelmed by that, but it’s lovely to hear.

WALLER-BRIDGE: Can I just ask you one question which I couldn’t remember about Crashing?

BAILEY: Yeah.

WALLER-BRIDGE: The frosted tips were your idea, wasn’t it?

BAILEY: I had this conversation today. I think it’s in the script. But my reference picture was Justin Timberlake in double denim.

WALLER-BRIDGE: No, I don’t think it was [in the script], because Sam’s a character that I hold closest to my heart because, in so many ways, he represents how I feel about maybe my inner life. I just love him so much, and your ability to play every single little corner of him that I dreamed of.

BAILEY: Maybe that’s the answer I was looking for when you asked if I was drawn to any romantic couples? No, it was just about wanting bleach blonde hair.

Source

[schumigrace]

My life will, quite literally, never be the same.

I moved to the motorsport county for a multitude of reasons, but having Silverstone on my doorstep was at the top of the list.

The mileage counter in my beaten-up racing green Vauxhall has racked up most of it's digits on the A43 through Towcester, I can tell you the exact position of every road sign painted with a brown rectangle, a chequered flag next to the word "Silverstone". I could tell you which direction the track is in from anywhere in the world, as if it's Wing shaped roof hangs like a petrol-laden North Star. All roads lead to Silverstone, you may say (no-one has ever said this)

So, Grace, I hear you asking, how often do you go?

Never.

That is, of course, until I received an email from God herself (the Aston Martin F1 Team Marketing Analyst) informing me of my invitation to their AMR24 Launch. An invitation I very obviously accepted, after 24 hours worth of crying, screaming, and stalking said marketing analyst on LinkedIn to make sure this was not in fact some messed up kind of joke

So it's 7 in the morning, I'm doing my usual commute through the god-awful traffic hell that is Northamptonshire, only this time I'm not going straight ahead on the Silverstone Bypass, I am taking the ever elusive right turn into the brand new Aston Martin Technology Centre and being handed a visitor's pass

The first thing I notice is that they've only gone and put a bloody AMR23 (with the new livery) right in the middle of the lobby, it's covered up at this point, and I'm staring daggers through the cover just daring it to be riddled with carbon fibre underneath. AMR team members are floating around like green angels everywhere I look, shelves are adorned with this past year's trophies (I make a comment to a passing team member - "you'll need more shelves after this year", she chuckles and moves on - I try not to take this is a bad sign)

8 o'clock hits, the official launch video plays, and the cover is removed. jesus fucking christ she's green. thank fuck. I can go home now.

Oh, hang on, is that Mike Krack?

Shit it is.

Mike has a shakedown to run of course, so he doesn't hang around for too long. He's confident in this car though, they've been working on it for years, and he's sure we'll be quick out of the gate. Off he goes across the road to the garage. "Don't worry," they say, "you'll be going over to watch the cars on track too."

Sorry, can you repeat that please, I believe you just said we are going to go over to the track to watch the cars.

"Yes of course, but not before we ply you with cake and coffee, naturally, oh and also Pedro De La Rosa is here along with Jessica Hawkins. Do you want to chat to them?"

I ask Pedro where he and Fernando went to dinner last night. Somewhere in Oxford I think, I stopped listening, I was thinking about how much I would be willing to be a thir-

Anyway.

At this point no photos are allowed for the rest of the day, they are literally building the car right in front of you no you cannot put that on social media.

We're heading across the road now, along the Hamilton straight and up around Stowe, we head past the Porsche Experian Centre and I make some vague comment about Webbonso that nobody picks up on. Nevermind. We turn left just before Maggots and Becketts to head towards the pit lane, and into the Aston Martin garage.

The smell of petrol is so overwhelmingly strong and I make sure every single cell of my lungs is scarred from it. A batak machine is being set up and I joke "wouldn't it be funny if someone beat Jenson Button's world record today". Someone did, not even 5 minutes later. A wave of "get Jenson on the phone!" fills the garage.

I turn around, Stoffel Vandoorne and Felipe Drugovich are on a stage talking about how exciting it is to see the car, or at least they're trying to look excited. I'm not sure Drugo knows what that even means.

Lawrence Stroll is talking to a mechanic and I can literally hear the thousands of dollars dropping into his bank account with every heartbeat. Surely his son is nearby? Oh yes, right infront of us. Imagine that. (Lance did of course look gorgeous, his racesuit tied around his waist, laughing with his engineers like the whore he is)

We're heading over to the PU station now and the wonderful AM team member is talking us through the specifics of it, but I haven't heard a single word she has said, because unfortunately for her Fernando has decided to enter the garage at that exact moment. I am stood near a space heater, and he locks eyes on me (nope, the space heater) immediately. He makes his way over and sticks his backside directly towards the heater and my face is about as red as the radiator.

"Good morning! How are you?"

I have so many words to say to you right now, and not a single one of them is in a language that either of us can understand. I think I eventually vomitted up some form of acceptable response, however, because he smiled at me.

"Are you cold?"

"Only a little" I respond. Not anymore, I'm picturing myself under you, I think.

I totally lost a good hour after this because there's not a single memory here for me to put into words, damn you Alonso

The blur fades with the freezing air outside, and we're stood on the pitwall. Sky Sports are here now and have us doing media stuff, I run as far away from them as possible and climb onto the pitwall. FIA, if you're reading this, I promise I kept both feet on the ground at all times.

They tell us the shakedown isn't going to plan, suprise surprise, and you actually cannot see the car on track today. I mentally curl into a ball and sob the whole way back to the AMRTC but all of a sudden we are being led to mission control and the composite engineering stations and they are, literally, building a car infront of us whatthefuckishappening

By this point I have recovered from my minor sulk - Grace this is literally the best day of your life get over yourself - and then we're being told that as an apology they have hired a room in the Hilton Hotel opposite the pitlane, free food and drinks for as long as we want, oh and... cars on track. all. day. long.

Whilst writing this i received another email from biblically-accurate marketing analyst god asking for feedback. I think a string of letters indicating incessant shrieking will probably do the trick

[moodywyrm]

sorrysorry sad thoughts but rockstar!sevika going on a world tour and you have to stay home for work or something else :(( and you two are the clingiest mfs in the world so you facetime for hours before a show and after, sometimes even during a show, with her phone shoved in her back pocket while she plays one of her more loving songs in tribute to you not being there for the first time in forever </3

BUT!!! when she comes home it’s like 3 am, you were expecting her to be back later so you could pick her up from the airport in a joyous reunion but she was able to pull some strings :). so she walks into yalls house (more coming on this later i have so many thoughts about her), going straight for the bedroom almost crying because holy shit she’s been gone for like. two months. and she stumbles in, jetlagged and sleep deprived as hell and oh god, you’re laying so peacefully on her side of the bed, snuggled into her pillow, in one of her older band tees, wearing her boxers.

and as much as she wants to grab you and hold you and kiss you, and as much as she may be 6’5, cold, muscly, big scary girl, she doesn’t want to startle you :( she gets undressed into just some boxers, ready to show off her new tattoo that she got (while you were, of course, on the call while she got it). she sits on the bed, being so gentle with you, slowly caressing your cheek and whispering your name in that sweet voice that is reserved for your ears only. and when your eyes finally open, it takes about 5 seconds before you’re up and in her arms, crying and gripping onto her, snuggled into her chest and kissing her face all over.

eventually she pries you away, lifting your face oh so gently and giving you a loving kiss, smiling down at you. you’re all smiles too, holding her arms in a death grip as if you’re afraid she’s just a dream :(( so sevika bundles you into her arms, laying down and cuddling with you the way she has been missing </3

and then in the morning you have steamy reunion sex

who said that

I need you to know that jj @pinknightsinmymind and I stared at this in Tears the other day. this is fucking incredible. I really don't have much to add except for a few lil thoughts

ok I imagine that, aside from your wedding rings, Sevika also got you guys matching jewelry. maybe a necklace or a bracelet, up to you. generally, y'all wear them for show because your everyday matching jewelry are the rings! however. when she's on tour, that jewelry never comes off. it wasn't even like, a conscious decision you two made. simply, the first time she went on tour without you, you both got incredibly sad and started wearing it. she sees it when y'all FaceTime that night, and then shows you hers. y'all did cry a lil bit, it was both adorable and goofy. now, it's tradition! before she leaves, you put her necklace on her and she puts your jewelry on you. it pretty much always results in tears and gentle kisses.

Every time she plays the ballad on tour, she always dedicates it to her beautiful wife. sometimes people can literally hear her getting a lil choked up, and it always ends up being the most heart wrenching part of her set. in my mind it's either similar to (or is) Work Song by Hozier. That's her fucking song. Especially because, you coming into her life did make her stop a lot of her terrible habits. Wanting to be with you made her a better person, and she knows it. She loves you more than life, and it shows. This is honestly my favorite Sevika head canon in the rockstar and farm au's, because they feel so real to me.

And because I'm me I have to include lyrics that are extra extra Sevika and her wife:

"No grave can hold my body down / I'll crawl home to her"

"And I was burnin' up a fever / I didn't care much how long I lived / But I swear I thought I dreamed her / She never asked me once about the wrong I did"

"My babe would never fret none / About what my hands and my body done / If the Lord don't forgive me / I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me"

Ok now that I'm in Tears. Man. C'mon.

On the point of her surprising you by coming home early. Just going off how I process emotions, when y'all get off call that night you just start bawling. Like you know she's gonna be home soon and you'll get to see her, but it's been so long and you miss her so fucking much. You go to sleep crying, so when Sevika comes home and surprises you, she takes note of your puffy red eyes and her heart breaks man. She never wants to be the reason you're crying, unless it's from pleasure. So she changes as fast and as quietly as she can and kneels down at your side of to the bed.

You wake up and just like tackle her, because, to quote TSOA, "I could recognize [her] by touch alone, by smell"

It's such weepy reunion, filled with the softest and firmest hugs in the world. You're literally just crying into her neck, hugging her so tight like "that sucked so bad, I'm so glad your home" but it's so broken up because you're sobbing. sevika's crying too, just so fucking happy to be back home with her wife. she refuses to let go of you, clinging to you like a koala all night. does not care how hot it is, she needs you as close as possible. hence her lack of a shirt, and her asking you to take yours off if you're comfortable. skin to skin contact is an absolute must for you two.

that night y'all sleep like fucking babies, not waking up until like ten am the next day. even then, y'all stay in bed for hours.

on the point of reunion sex, I agree and I'd love to write a full thing on it, but I have some preliminary thoughts.

after being away from you for so long, sevika craves skin to skin contact. which means, say it with me yall, tribbing!! she needs it, you need it, it's messy and hot and wet and somehow y'all are still weepy.

she still absolutely uses her strap on you, but it's less fucking and more love making, but just as passionate and intense. deep strokes people. it's honestly her least favorite act during reunion sex, though she still fucking loves. she just needs that skin to skin contact.

so much oral. soooooooo much oral. in the same line as the skin to skin, but she just need to Feel her girl. does not let up until you're boneless and limp on the bed.

you also pamper the shit out of her. taking control during tribbing, riding her, eating her out and fingering her to release all of the pent up tension of tour.

that's all I can add to this perfect fucking ask man, I cried writing this. thank u nonnie <3

[cashandprizes]

Top 5 Redacted Quotes (BA Edition)

My darling @gingerbreadmonsters tagged me so lovingly <3 And I initially was like "oh I don't know what my favorites are" until I decided I realized no one can stop me from doing my favorite moments in BAs that had me keyboard smashing (usually at Lexi) at all hours of the day.

So, without further ado, quotes from Redacted BAs that have made me so furiously feral I black them out of my memory to function.

Tagging some of my discord buddies <3 no pressure!!! @calicostorms @bratty-telepath @bicyclepainting @horrorscoupes @angelnoodlesoup @just-call-me-angel

NSFW/NSFT under the cut, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Starting off with my Number 1, which is the shortest but somehow most powerful of all:

Sam BA "You fixin' to bounce on this cock?" Stop. Stop everything. I about DIED. I have text receipts of me texting Lexi furiously screaming about this whole audio BUT THIS LINE? There is no salvation, only damnation and I run to it.

Number 2, a very close race:

David Hot Boi Winter/Proposal BA "Because every thread in my body is screaming for you, to have you. I wanna dig my teeth into your skin. I wanna fuck you into this bed so hard that the frame breaks underneath us, and then fuck you into the floor even harder." LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK. OH MY GOD??? LET ME LIVE??? This audio was made specifically for bitches with their monsterfucker license who love possessive feral primal play (it's me I'm bitches). I had to relisten to this because I completely blacked out listening to it the first time because I was so feral and relistening was... words cannot describe. Help.

Number 3, the audio that birthed my url:

Milo BA illegal that it is the only one "Yeah? You want me to use this mouth of yours? Whose mouth is this? Good. [...] Kiss it first. Just kisses. Yeah, he's happy to see you." Milo Greer WHAT THE FUCK. I was only going to use the "yeah he's happy to see you" because that line is the kind of hilarious deviant shit I like, bUT WHOSE MOUTH IS THIS? Sir. I was minding my black business how could you do me like this?

Number 4, probably one of my all time fave audios

HuxDami Confession BA Can I just... "[Insert SS tier nefarious neck ultra high-quality throat goat noises]" "I'm made of tough stuff too Hux... and I like it rough. I'll tell you if it's too much. [...] Now show me what that body of yours can do, big guy." "Bet." "More." "Oh fuck. Oh god. Alright, you want more? I can give you more baby." This audio is so revolutionary I couldn't pick one quote. As a Damien kinnie who has gotten at least two five star Yelp reviews for my head game, real recognizes real. That was some the rent is due tomorrow vortex neck and like... I can't even describe how much I love this audio. The "bet"? ofaoiefoss. "More" was the moment where I said "oh god is this ME?" Damien Throat Goat Hours <3

Number 5, straight from the boy Lexi used as a WEAPON to drag me into this fandom:

Lasko Hot Boi Winter BA “I’m thinking really, really hard. I’m definitely not just, um, not, not just, a fucking puddle of precum, and very almost actual real cum.” “I’m a good boy. Good boys hold it in. Good boys hold it in.” Lexi knew that if they dangled a subby, flustered nerdy boy in front of my face I would be helpless and goddammit I am. I blacked out and wrote like 2k words of smut continuing the sextember audio just to make him cry. THIS? It was so funny and cute and just so.... sfsofspojfswe hot omg Lasko is just so whiny and whimpery that I become so fucking feral...

Honorable mentions!

Sextember Lasko BA - "I’m not gonna have a brain by the end of this! I’m just gonna be some drooling, crying, humping mess pulling you around like I’m in heat or something. No that’s not hot, that’s cruel! What do you mean that’s what makes it hot?!" Lasko Hot Boi Winter BA - "you're evil, you're so fucking evil, it's okay! It's okay!" Sam BA - "You wanna ride your cow- You little… Get over here. I oughta whoop your ass for that one, you menace."

I think I might do another one of these but JUST for meme quotes because I need to do my url so badly. It's maybe the funniest thing Milo has ever said.

[fortunefavorsthebrave-dude]

opla thots through eppie 5 so my brain don't explode:

i'm actually very pleasantly surprised. largely the stuff that is bad is stuff i expected and a lot of things are much better than i expected so like helleth yes we win

kobyyyyyyy perfect 100% i get why they're tying the marines in more for story purposes and idc honestly bc i get to see koby

helmeppo also good tho i could have done without seeing his full cheeks

as a fan there are a lot of small moments that really don't impact the overall story much but i did miss. like toppling the morgan statue. or sanji being present for the mihawk fight to see that devotion to a dream that motivates him to get on the sea. or the catboy being changed to a catgirl that one made me mad. but again does not affect the overall thing so w/e.

casting is so stupid spot on perfect and i've been saying that the whole time but good lord every new character is so insanely good

that said. they really desexied benn beckman. rip king.

why are luffy and usopp the only characters allowed to be fun. where is weird fun hardass grandpa garp. where is any major zoro dumbass moment. he's had a few but we can do better. oh my god i just realized jango wasn't here WHERE IS HE FUCK YOU. THE MENTION OF MIRRORBALL ISLAND IS NOT ENOUGH.

they did largely forget one piece is a comedy which i literally voiced as a worry out loud with my human mouth like an hour before i started watching. pain.

the design is largely extremely good. the costumes fuck every single time. cgi looks better than expected so i'm pretty pleased.

that said. the fishmen look like fucking dogshit i cannot take them seriously. i appreciate that they're using practical effects but my god they're so so so bad just for the fishmen.

on the other hand. enamored with the dendenmushi. they're real and they're vile and i want one soooooo bad

impressed that luffy's fx don't look way worse the only one i think looks bad is balloon and that's. tough.

kuro was very good what a little freak

buggy was. fine. i didn't love him like everyone else seems too i just think they took him in the wrong direction a touch

mihawk looks so good but i hate his accent he sounds bizarre to me

lotta brits in here i was not expecting. not the worst but like. huh.

i keep seeing folks in the tag praising the colors and how it's not dark and muddy and i don't think we were watching the same show. the clothes pop and sometimes they'll light a scene but any scene in the dark even a little bit is so washed out and bad looking it's got that netflix stank all over it like most of the circus tent and garp's ship and the final syrup village fight are dark jumbles

also why did we need two goddamn episodes for syrup village. that seems excessive. i feel like they could have cut things differently and ended up with more time for like. actual adaptation stuff.

zoro crying on the dock was so perfect no notes iconic moment

i did tear up when sanji first appeared so. there is that.

also when zoro one handed lifts that big safe. okay king!

zoro is too smart also in ways that he shouldn't be it's bothering me so much. like when he translates usopp's big wordy bullshit he does not know what those words meannnnn

that said. which way is port. it's to the left. ah okay. stands there and does nothing because he doesn't know which way left is either. also gets lost on his way to a house that's ten feet away and visible. more of this we need more of this so bad.

easter eggs so good so fun. cavendish wanted poster. island of weird animals in the end credits. certainly more i didn't catch. mwah we love it.

dialogue sucks shit also the worst element of the show is by far the writing where like the plot is fine the way they rearranged things doesn't bother me if i wanted the exact story in order i'd read it again but the actual lines they write are mostly so stupid bad and generic. every so often they hit on a good one but it's generally lifted straight from the manga.

they didn't even get gold roger's speech right. he didn't say he left it all in one piece. that's the fucking. it's the whole thing of it innit.

oh i need to mention cabaji specifically weird they gave him so much focus and backstory but he looked PERFECT i was hollering

i miss reggie tho

usopp asking a gay man and an aroace man if they think a girl likes him. they do not know bro.

also i love every shipper being like WE WON listen man i'm a shipper too and the only folks who won were the usokaya hets out there everything else is just as canon as it's always been (read: not even a little bit lmao)

now that said. opla usolu is Something which is wild bc i have never once been on this train but it hits different. not enough to make me abandon aroace luffy but still.

okay one more thing. zoro being in the stocks for 0.5 seconds to keep his job that he abandons immediately anyway instead of being there for weeks in exchange for the safety of a little girl sucks. it takes away so much of his character and feels like such a critical misstep to me but i'm also the zoro guy so idk.

anyway. overall very excited to finish the season and hoping we get more. it's surpassed my (admittedly low) expectations despite my issues with it and it's worth sticking with for sure.

[reynie-muldoons]

'A Perilous Journey' liveblog!!!!

GOOD MORNINGGGG its season two timeee!!!

I decided I'm watching episode 1 now, and episode 2 in a few hours. My shift starts weirdly late in the day so it works out.

As always, spoilers below the cut!!

Before I even get started I love how this episode is called a perilous journey. It's not quite the book title but damn near close 😂

0:10 ITS A RECAP BAYBEEE

1:27 dad!Milligan will never not make me cry

1:29 AND MOM!MISS PERUMAL RIGHT AFTER

2:12 HERE WE GOOOOOO

2:19 BLEASE tell me Kate is training rats

2:23 just kidding its Sticky

2:36 STOP MADGE STOLE THE RAT LMAOOO

2:41 oh. She left a letter. That's not conspicuous at all 😂

2:59 Mystic is so tall now 🥺

3:13 WETHERALL FARM??????

3:17 I SEE A BARN THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Also that was fucking creative Kate but how strong is that boomerang to knock multiple full-grown apples off of the tree

3:24 MILLIGAAAANNNNNN

3:34 MADGE NAME DROP!!! I have a confession to make related to Madge that I think is the funniest fucking thing ever. Remind me to tell y'all at some point

3:46 omfg are we about to watch the kidnapping??? how telling is it that I thought of Gert immediately LMAOOOO

3:55 they look adorable. Matching umbrellas, cute long coats... icons

3:58 THEYRE FAMILY BITCHES

4:06 is that supposed to be a time magazine dupe

4:06 I also think its hilarious that Curtain's original plan was to take credit for solving the emergency by just. mass brainwashing. good plan there bud, very sustainable

4:06 but like isnt he wanted now??? Isnt that a thing? In the books the government was actively looking for him so tf is this

4:14 THE OPENING IS BAAAACK

4:14 "skip opening" how insulting. No

4:42 THE SHORTCUT!!!!!

4:50 who decided to make Constance's screen an arctic clown ship 😂😂

5:12 here's that unhinged interview from the trailer. I didnt think it would come this quickly

5:28 Constance just fucking staring at the TV as if she can intimidate him into stopping LMAO

5:39 WHAT??? So in S1 when he said he'd "share the spotlight" THIS is what he meant?? What a curveball. He's going to regret countering her

5:50 fucking god complex strikes again

6:01 he looks like he's wearing a straight jacket on that back cover. Probably appropriate considering he's uhhhh Like That

6:20 god I hate him. Stop being manipulative challenge (impossible)

6:26 YES ABSOLUTELY sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety, all of the shit makes happiness stand out. Without the struggle our lives would be shaded of grey because happiness wouldnt be distinguishable

6:43 why does this sound like homeopathic medicine

7:03 is this like a weird TV hypnosis thing. Is he doing the fake happiness thing on her without her consent

7:09 ohhhh I did NOT like the shift from looking at her to looking at the camera. Creepy

7:15 RHONDA YOU SHOULDVE LET HER DO IT

7:15 Rhonda as usually you look fucking fire

7:26 Dutch baby?? First of all, presentation is 10/10. Second of all it makes me very sad that they're the only two in the house because Mr. B and Number Two are already gone.

7:38 why the fuck did she answer in French 😂😂

7:44 THEYRE SISTERS YOUR HONOR

8:03 HAHHA THIS IS THE LOG-CUTTING THING??? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

8:13 that scream sounded like a fucking bird of prey HAHA

8:29 literally describing how it feels to travel with parents over a long period. I swear they are literally a fucking family

8:36 "just as much for him as it is the kids" oh absolutely it is, he's a mess when it comes to Nathaniel

9:01 DOES HE JUST GO TO SYMPOSIUMS AND GET UP AND SPEAK 😂😂😂 what the fuck guy

9:24 "who's mocking me?" "Doesnt matter." They're banter is UNCHALLENGED. also his face is fucking funny HOLD UP

9:24 GRUMPY MAN IS GRUMPY

9:37 calling Nathaniel "some guru with all this influence" REALLY makes him sound like he tries on makeup products and does skincare routines on youtube 😂

9:41 "we seem pretty safe" oh babygirl if that's not the nail in the coffin

10:05 they really nailed the "local man does something weird" vibes in this scene

10:17 dont tell me it already happened. Oh no

10:27 OH SHIT THERE IT IS

10:39 oh my gosh he's such a DADDD.

10:45 "a tiny go bag or gorp". I love him so much

10:54 HE WITTLED IT FOR THE BUCKET STOOOOP

11:03 AND THE DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

11:10 "it's my job to take care of you also. Additionally." He understands she's been on her own up until this point and acknowledges that she can handle herself, but also that she's a kid who needs help just like anyone else. CRYING.

11:15 she didn't even put it in the bucket, just her pocket 😂😂 she's so reluctant to accept

11:25 MILLIGAN PLEASE GET A BUCKET HAHAHA

11:30 okay that truck is incredible LOL

11:40 .....why would you do that to a grapefruit. What did the grapefruit do to you huh

12:08 HERE'S THE LETTERS ANGST. REYNIE WROTE THEM SO MANY LETTERS

12:16 can I just say Miss Perumal is the queen of pastels

12:43 the reality of long-distance friends. My best friends from high school and college live SO far away and it's like this sometimes

12:50 acknowledging his feelings, giving him comfort, AND indulging him?? If the adoption papers arent signed already they really should be

12:57 HAHA IS SHE PRACTICING TO SEE THEM??? LMAO KID

13:19 stooooppp she's so cute

13:26 LMAO EVERYONE GOT THERE AT THE SAME TIME

13:44 Reynie and Sticky had the sense to bring a suitcase, Kate

13:51 she's not wrong, they are taller 😂

13:58 THAT LOOK BETWEEN CONNIE AND KATE LMAOOOO

14:01 this is a funny moment and all but Reynie desperately looking for affirmation anywhere he can find it makes me so sad for him

14:07 THE HIGH FIVES!!!! Cue everyone wincing

14:15 HAHA HAVE THEY JUST NOT TALKED ABOUT THE WHISPERER SINCE THEN

14:27 ohhhh Milligan looks nice

14:38 STOP THEYRE SO FUNNY

14:45 it looks like a minecraft golem, or the pokemon golett 😂

15:01 oh lord the news broke, that has to be it

15:15 dun dun DUNNNN

15:34 it's so cool that they planned check-ins like that. How smart

16:15 okay both of them switching between languages was fucking sick

16:18 and here it is, the kids have been told no, so they will find their own way

16:41 oh shit, they have a short timeframe then

16:47 I cant tell if this is manipulative or Constance not being able to contain herself. Like I doubt she would do this in front of the others but she's already shown she trusts everyone more than she lets on, soooo

17:09 is this Constance's room??

17:16 HAHA I KNEW IT she DID hug Rhonda to get something out of it

17:31 he sounded so offended 😂😂😂

18:09 she kills me. The line delivery is just on point

18:59 is this from the book? It's a dictionary, right?

19:14 HAHA he just fucking LEAVES

19:22 OH SHIT HELLO????

19:43 RAGE GIRL, RAGE

19:46 HAHAHAHA HER FACE WHEN THE SNACKS POP OUT

19:46 IM CRYING HER EYES BUGGED OUT SO MUCH

20:13 "many sociopaths are unfailingly polite" that describes Nathaniel so fucking well

20:25 casual destruction of property

20:25 HOLD ON LMAOO how much did they have to pull on that thing for it to come out of the door at such a small tug???? Oh no I'm sad

20:33 AYYYY there it is, it's a dictionary

20:52 "last...time I checked" oh buddy hahahahah

21:14 "there is no system" the system is the organized chaos that every person with ADHD understands- it's a mess but a very specific mess

21:19 awwwww. He's trying to reach across 🥺

21:29 VERY SMOOTH REYNIE

22:00 okay the nothingness club sounds like a cult

22:13 awwww there it issss. The dam is breaking

22:30 AND NOW ITS THE SAME WITH THE GIRLS. I love that they're ramping up the similarities between Reynie and Constance

22:45 awwww loneliness. They're so sad

22:59 "not dad. Roommate" okay girl you tell yourself that

23:14 THE BOOK CHAIR. THATS INCREDIBLE

23:23 "You LIKE me." LMAO KATE CALL HER OUT

23:40 needy dad is needy

23:54 hagagaga why does he keep looking at Constance like that

24:35 good job Kate!!!!

24:46 YES THEY GOT THE JOURNAL FUCK YEAH

25:16 TAKE THE SHORTCUT BABY

25:47 "does anyone feel like they've entered a trance" Constance 😂😂😂😂

26:12 "I feel uncleen" HAHAHAH

26:25 THERE IT ISSSS TAKE THE SHORTCUT BAYBEEEE

26:42 MARITIME MONTHLY LMAOOOO

27:15 yeah Kate, everybody knows that. Gosh.

27:44 YES Reynie get the group's consent before doing something stupid

28:02 she's writing a fucking newsletter apparently

28:10 very subtle guys

28:19 okay the fact that Kate is left makes me think Milligan is going to come

28:24 okay, just kidding. Also I love the shoes

28:27 ayyy public transit

28:34 OKAY WHO TF WAS THAT

28:48 wow they didnt get any kind of head start, Rhonda's going to see they're gone immediately

28:58 SHIT SHE SCREAMED FOR HIM

28:58 KATE LEFT HIM A NOOOOOTE 😭😭😭

29:11 MISS PERUMAL NOOOO

29:12 ayyyyyy it's the Shortcut!!!

29:37 oh shit the adults have the tickets??? So what I'm hearing is the kids are sneaking on and the adults are using tickets

30:14 oh shit Sticky 😂 or should I say "oh ship"

30:20 HAHHAHA KATE "ha. stern" CRYING

30:34 PETTY CRIME BAYBYYYYY

30:42 NOOOOO its Boston tea party but without the tea

30:56 oh God why is he like that

31:03 he looks like he's about to star in a 80's dance video

31:07 NOOO HE ACTUALLY STARTED DANCING

31:15 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

31:18 PLEASE STOP HAHAHAHA

31:27 please dear god let SQ walk in on this

31:30 not SQ but someone else

31:46 what the fuck just happened

31:49 ITS GOLF CART TIME BITCHES

32:16 I'm so glad he looks that stupid in his little cart thing. I cant wait to make fun of him

32:32 who are you calling "Associate" bitch

32:46 CULT

32:52 "elated" OH GOD OH NO OH FUCK

32:59 Milligan holding his hat like that is just too fucking endearing.

33:06 so are their tickets just. Null and void now 😂

33:12 did they really just ditch their shit 😂😂😂😂😂 the bags are just there in the open

33:18 parents. PARENTS. Also this kind of is like Reynie although Miss Perumal has never seen him in an active life and death situation like this

33:23 Rhonda is once again the voice of reason

33:27 "they believed us" AWWWWWW

33:45 shit is it already over??? Damn those are some long credits then

Wow, that was really good. The kids met back up, they had an awkward start but fell into that familiarity almost immediately. The parents were very parental. Although in hindsight, Sticky's were pretty much absent. What the fuck's up with that??

And the biggest tragedy is that there was no "roll credits" moment. They didn't namedrop the episode title 🙃 please bring that back in the test of the season I loved that so much

This took a lot longer to do than I thought, so I'm waiting to watch episode 2 until later tonight. I cant wait to talk about it with y'all!!!

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 63 Transcript: The Trenchcoat Stays ON During Sex

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello! My name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show several times...

C: And I, someone who only knows about the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For this episode, we will be discussing "In the Beginning"- no. 4.03. What? Okay, wait. Okay, so for this episode, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 3: "In the Beginning," written by Jeremy Carver, directed by Steve Boyum. Have I heard of Steve Boyum before?

C: I think so. The name sounds familiar. Oh, it looks like he directed "Crossroad Blues." Oh, and [both] “Dream a Little Dream of Me.”

G: Yeah, Andrew, My little drink of me.

G: Yeah. Oh my god! He will direct “Swan Song.”

C: Ooh. That's exciting.

G: Wait. These are iconic episodes. Like, at the end, he directs “Death Takes a Holiday," “Angel Heart.” You know “Angel Heart”?

C: The Claire one?

G: Yep. He directs that. That's nice. "Song Remains the Same," he directs it, which is terribly connected to this episode.

C: Yeah, that makes sense.

G: Yeah. You know what “Song Remains the Same” is about?

C: Well, Anna goes back in time to kill John and Mary so that Sam can’t be born, right?

G: Yah.

C: Which is so sexy of her.

G: Good for her. This episode, Sam- like, let's get it out of the way. [both] Sam is not in this episode.

Yeah, he shows up one scene.

C: Half a scene.

G: Yeah, half a scene. And Ruby's there. Ruby says a line. Sam doesn't. Sam literally has no speaking lines this episode. [C laughs] At least Ruby does. At least Ruby does. But Sam doesn't.

C: Yeah. A win for women.

G: A win for women's rights and wrongs.

C: But “Metamorphosis” is going to be pretty Sam-heavy, I think. Right? Right? Please?

G: "Metamorphosis"?

C: The next one? It should open with him and Ruby practicing his powers, at least. I don't know how Sam-heavy the rest of it is. Yeah.

G: I think I don't remember “Metamorphosis” a lot.

C: Well, it was on a list of- you know how there's like, that poll bracket that may have ended by now that's "best Sam episode of Supernatural"-

G: Mm, that's interesting.

C: - and it only features episodes that are somewhat Sam-heavy? “Metamorphosis” was on there, and I think made it past round 1 but not round 2, so I think it's Sam enough.

G: What's your- Do you have a Sam-centric episode in mind that you like?

C: I mean, of the ones we've watched so far, just like, “Houses of the Holy.”

G: Yeah, “Houses of the Holy” for what we watched so far. But I would say my favorite one is the flashback one with, like, the high school. I forgot the title of that episode, the high school episode. For Dean, I guess, but like, for Sam it's- I don't- I don't know. Maybe he's in middle school

C: The one where he has the English teacher, and he says to him-

G: Yeah!

C: - that he doesn't have to join the family business if he doesn't want to. I know what you're talking about, but I just don't remember the name.

G: It's called "After School Special"!

C: "After School Special"? [both] Yeah.

G: That's so sad that I can't even name the title of the episode of my favorite Sam-centered episode.

C: Yeah. I also heard that “In My Imagination” is good.

G: Oh, yeah!

C: The imaginary friends one?

G: Yeah! Yeah! That one is good. Because he literally had an imaginary friend!

C: Yeah. And that imaginary friend was gay.

G: Yeah. Because he was also gay.

C: Yes.

G: He's dead now, so that's why I'm using "was." He didn't turn straight. [both laugh]

C: [laughing] Unlike- [both laughing] [overlapping] I think, for context, we are recording this about 5 hours after Misha Collins announced at a con in New Jersey that Warner Brothers called him after he accidentally came out as bi and told him to just pretend to be bi for the rest of his life.

G: I've been saying this to Crystal, but I would have given him the same advice. Like, I would have been like, “Bro, for real. Like, just be bisexual. I don't know what to tell you.” [C laughing] I was the brother who was warning for real.

C: Yeah. [laughs] For real.

G: God. What a time. What a time we're having. Sometimes, I think to myself, “I do not give two shits about what happens in the Supernatural fandom anymore."

C: Yeah, like I try not to care about the actors.

G: Yeah.

C: But sometimes, they do things like accidentally come out as bi, and you have to care about that, regardless of your personal beliefs and feelings.

G: [laughing] We said that we were not gonna talk about it!

C: Did we?

G: I was like-

C: [laughing] I only said we wouldn't do it for a Ko-Fi bonus!

G: Literally. We talked about how we wouldn't do it for a Ko-Fi bonus, but alas, we are-

C: We are doing it for free. We are not being Misha Collins bi for gay- for pay, sorry. How do I redo that joke to make it funny? I don't think I can. Let's move on. [laughs]

G: Let us move on.

-

G: Okay, so, Crystal. “In the Beginning.” What did you know about this episode?

C: Yes. I knew that Cas brings Dean back to the past, and I thought the point of it was to show him that he couldn't change anything. But I guess that wasn't actually his main motivation, and we see young Mary, and she is beautiful and has big eyes and cowboy boots and regular-colored eyebrows. And we see her and John dating, and how her dad disapproves of it because he's not a hunter, and I guess this is the episode where the general audience finds out that Mary was a hunter at all. And I know she has like, a little speech about wanting to get out of the life. I know that John proposes to her, and then he dies, and also Azazel kills Mary's dad and possesses him. And then they like, make a deal to bring John back so that he can re-enter her house 10 years later, and Jeremy Carver loves incest so so much. [G laughs] And then in the end there's like, a shot of her like, in the headlights of Dean's car, and she looks scared, and her eyes are so big, and she looks great and it's iconic, and then Cas comes over and puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

G: Yeah.

C: So that's what I know.

G: Yeah. This episode, it's juicy, but- I don't know if we've talked about it in the podcast, like, main, like, podcast main- We don't have a side podcast. [C laughs] We have a Ko-Fi bonus blah blah blah. But I don't think we ever mentioned that we haven't really touched The Winchesters.

C: Oh, the show?

G: Yeah. So I feel like it bears saying- is that a term that people say? “It bears saying?”

C: It sounds familiar. Is it “warrants saying?” Do people say "bears saying"? I don't know.

G: Yeah, bears saying, bears dancing, you know. [both laugh] Goldilocks-core. I think it warrants saying that we have never watched The Winchesters, probably will never, although recently-

C: Okay, cut this out, but I have seen two episodes of it.

G: No, no, I'm not gonna cut it out. I'm not going to cut it out.

C: [laughing] Noooo!

G: Crystal watched 2 episodes. Is it the first episode and then the last episode?

C: No, I watched like, episode 4? Whichever one was titled “Masters of War." And I have also seen the finale.

G: Okay, if I- like, I have not watched anything, I have all everything about it muted and everything, like, I know nothing. So, recently, Crystal told me [both laughing] about what happens in the finale of Season 1.

C: Yeah.

G: Wow!

C: Wow.

G: Wow. I mean, I'm bringing this all up just to say that, like, we don't know what they retconned in that show, we don't know how that show affects the canon of Supernatural main. Like, we don't know. So we're not gonna really go into that. Yeah. Glad the Impala magically disappeared, though, or something. [C laughs]

C: Right. Which I mean, that seems like it should be a retcon, right? The fact that in the Winchester's John doesn't have the Impala yet or something?

G: Wait. Is the Impala his, or in-

C: No, the Impala, they summon it using like, a fucking spell in the finale, [G laughing] and then they drive it into a portal, and then Mary supposedly dies, and then it drives out of the portal and Dean’s in it.

G: [laughing] Ah. Slay. Let's start the episode.

-

G: So first and foremost, we have the “Road So Far.” Which, I quite liked.

C: Yeah.

G: I think the one that really stuck out to me is they didn't forget to include the part where Mary turns to Sam in “Home” and says, [both] “I'm sorry.” Yeah, which is like, you know, one of my favorite scenes of Season 1. Literally, she's sorry. And it's nice. I love that scene, and I'm glad to see it in a “Road So Far.”

C: Yeah, I agree. This is like, tangentially related, but, like, I made a post after watching “Home” about how John spent all of that time trying to figure out what happened to Mary when he could have just walked over and asked her. [laughs] And then recently someone reblogged it with the tags, “well maybe she just didn't want to talk to him,” and like, literally so true. Maybe she just didn't want to talk to him.

G: Wait, what are you talking about? Wait, he could have walked over and asked her, where?

C: She was like- he could have gone and asked her ghosts like, "Hey, what's up, how did you die?"

G: Oh, yeah. So real.

C: "Oh, there was a demon with yellow eyes? That's good information to have."

G: Yeah.

-

G: So we start off the episode with Sam and Dean in a motel room, and Dean is sleeping in his bed, and Sam-

C: Let's talk about Dean's sleeping arrangements.

G: Okay.

C: He has no blanket.

G: No blanket.

C: He's using his dad's leather jacket as a blanket, which does make me feel something. We find out later that apparently he also has the journal and his phone under the blanket on his lap. [G laughs] Good for him, I guess.

G: God, he's so fucking funny. He's so fucking funny.

C: And I think he's in jeans with his shoes on also.

G: Yeah. I have slept like that in my life. Dean-coded.

C: With your shoes on?

G: No, I wouldn't sleep with my shoes on, but I was wearing jeans, and I was like, in a cold, cold place, but I didn't have a blankie!

C: Aww.

G: So I used my leather jacket [laughing] to-

C: Your leather jacket specifically?

G: [laughs] Yeah! To blanket myself. [C laughing] And like, the moment I saw Dean doing this I was like, “Oh my god! I've done that.” And I literally did do that. Sam just like, looks over to make sure he's asleep and then gets out of the room. And then there's a whole sitch where like, a car pulls up, and [laughing] I thought the car was gonna hit him. But it doesn’t hit him. It's just Ruby. And Ruby just goes like, “Ready?” Oh my god, I was wrong! Sam says a line! He says, "Definitely."

C: Yeah, baby.

G: Yeah! Wow. One-line wonder.

C: Yeah. Also like, a point to Steve Boyum is that the way that it opens, like, it's a mirror shot, but we don't know it's a mirror shot until it swings around to look at Sam, like, in the motel at the first time, and that's fun. I enjoy it.

G: Love mirror shots because I know they're difficult to film. So like, it's a commitment to do them. Yeah.

C: Yeah, exactly. And I also just like the idea that he and Ruby are like, texting buddies now, you know?

G: Yeah.

C: Like, I'm assuming that's how they meet up now. Just texts on the phone, and that's such a development from like-

G: The summoning! Yeah!

C: Yeah.

G: I think what I like, was that- I mean, not "like." But I observed that last episode, the last time we see Ruby, she was like, "Bye, Sam. Never going to speak to you ever again."

C: That's true.

G: And now they're back to conniving together. And I love that!

C: Yeah.

G: It's about the pull of the attraction or whatever the fuck is going on with them.

C: Yeah. And I also wonder- like, okay, in "Laz Rising," Ruby supposedly left a bra behind, and that confused us so much, but like, while Dean was away, like, it's possible that they actually like, lived together for multiple days at a time, like, Sam and Ruby, you know?

G: Yeah.

C: So like, maybe, like, most of her stuff, was like, in a bag in the closet, but that was like, something that was left out- like, yeah. Cute of them.

-

C: Back in the motel, Dean's having his Hell dreams again that are not safe for photosensitive people. And [laughs] they just never bother showing anything else about Hell.

G: I think it's interesting that they keep on doing it where he thinks about it while he's dreaming. So like, a part of you still is trying to believe that, like, he doesn't remember.

C: Yeah, that's true.

GL But like, it is becoming more and more obvious that he does remember. And like, I like that. I like that. It isn't just like, a surprise at the end when he's like, [dramatically] "I remember everything about Hell!" Like, you see that he is remembering here. And I like that. A little bit of a pre-shadowing? I don't fucking know. Foreshadowing. [C laughs] No, because I was thinking "fore" means "forward," and it doesn't. It means "before." That's fucked up. Both have the word "fore" in it.

C: That is pretty fucked up.

G: Yeah. He wakes up and Cas is sitting [C screams] at the side of the bed. [laughing]

C: God!

G: What a funny, funny scene.

C: Yeah.

G: And he goes- like, he's facing away from Dean, and then he goes, "Hello, Dean. What were you dreaming about?"

C: Hello.

G: And he turns his head as he says, like, “What were you dreaming about?” He turns his head towards Dean. And he is wearing that expression of again of like, amused. Like, it's fascinating. We see an array of Caspressions this episode, which is what I have used to say, Cas expression. It's literally Caspressions.

C: Real.

G: And, like, we see him be serious. We see him be like, forlorn, in a way. Like, sad for Dean. And here we see him like, quite amused. Like, "What were you dreaming about?" I like that.

C: Yeah. I mean, did he know it was Hell? [G laughing] Was he just like, "Oh, that's funny. I've been tortured for 200 years before."

G: Yeah. [laughing] "I, too, have been tortured and lobotomized." But yeah, Dean like, clocks that this looks pretty gay. [C laughs] And he says, like, “What you get your freak on watching other people sleep?" And-

C: Right, also Dean probably read Twilight like, 3 years earlier, and he was like, "I'm gonna stop this in its tracks." [G laughs]

G: Yeah, Cas turns serious and goes, "Listen to me. You have to stop it." Which is an interesting way to word this whole situation. Like, obviously, this is not what Dean is supposed to do at all.

C: Mm.

G: And yet, like, Cas says it like this. He's literally just lying.

C: I didn't really see "it" as being like, the deal. At first, when I thought his point was that, like, Dean needs to just go along with things, I thought like, "You have to stop it" just meant "You have to stop like, trying to have free will or whatever." And now, like, I think "it"- By the end, I figured out that "it" probably just means like, whatever Sam's getting up to.

G: Oh, yeah, that's interesting.

C: But he just does not explain what "it" is. So I think he is maybe trying to let Dean think differently.

G: Yeah. Like, he's saying here like, "You have to stop it." And probably, he is talking about Sam. You're right. And like, this whole excursion is like, him, instead of using his words just like, showing Dean, like, "This is what Sam is. This is what happened."

C: Yeah. This episode, we get they/them Sam rights, and we also get it/its neopronouns Sam rights, and I love that. Good for Sam.

G: Good for Sam. Also, like, I quite like that even though Sam is not in this episode, we actually get a lot of Sam lore!

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. You know, small happinesses or whatever. Small joys, I think, is what people say. Small joys.

C: Yeah. Is this the first time Cas touches Dean?

G: I think so. I mean, if you're not going to count the handprint.

C: Oh, no, no, I'll count the handprint.

G: Yeah.

The handprint is very confusing to me, because, like, he was not a human being when he picked up Dean.

C: That's true.

G: Like, he wasn't possessing "some poor bastard," as Dean says. But he has-

C: I guess his true form could have, like-

G: A hand?

C: - human aspects to it. Like, I'm assuming there's a lot of animal heads and eyes, but like, some of the many arms could be like, human hands.

G: Yeah, like, this is the fathomable portion of his true self, or whatever.

C: Mm-hm.

G: Yeah, so Dean is like, "What?" And Cas puts up his finger on Dean's forehead. And Dean like, gets transported somewhere else!

C: Yup.

-

C: So he is in a new place. The coloring, the saturation is higher than it is in the motel, I think.

G: Yeah, I think specifically, they made the saturation in the motel so low. 'Cause like, I had to turn my brightness up so much. Like, the brightness was slow, saturation was low. I had to turn my brightness up so much. And it's like, it's fascinating that, like, my first thought when that happened was like, "Oh, we're back to like, Season 1 lighting?" And no, they just needed to do that to put some contrast with this part of the episode.

C: Yeah. Usually, I fucking hate when Supernatural changes its coloring or lighting or whatever when they're in a new state-

G: It's good here, though.

C: - But yeah, this is subtle enough, and it doesn't look like shit, like Purgatory. Though I still contend that Purgatory looks like shit so that no one can make AMVs of the gay moments that look good. I think it was an act of aggression against gay AMV makers.

G: Yeah, exactly.

C: But yeah, this looks fine. This looks good.

Dean wakes up on a bench, and you know, some dumb cop tells him to move, and he can't sleep here, and Dean goes "Sleep where?" And the cop says, “Anywhere but here.” Which is not true, he would kick Dean off of the next bench.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, and when Dean was transported, the leather jacket, as we mentioned, is still on his lap, and he lifts it up to show that he has John's journal and his phone there. But there is no cell signal. So he sighs and he gets up and he goes into a diner called Jay Bird's Diner, and the camera zooms in on an ad on the bench that's for sugar-free Tab, which I think is a discontinued soda brand so like, it's like, "Ooh, we're in the past!"

G: Oh, that's what it means. That's what it means. I had no idea why they were doing it. I was like, "What the fuck is this?" [laughs]

C: Right, like, did they get a sponsorship with Tab?

G: Yeah. So Dean enters the diner and immediately, like, there's a guy in focus. Just a guy. Just a guy. And the guy's like, handsome. Hate to admit it, love to see it. [C laughs] Yeah. And Dean like, sits beside this guy and, like, you know, he asks, like, "Where am I?" And the guy's like, "We're in a diner." And he's like, "No, no, no, no, like, city and state." And the guy says, “Lawrence, Kansas,” So baby, they're in Lawrence. And the guys like, [deepens voice] "He-ey. You okay, buddy?" Like, that's how he speaks. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Exactly like that.

G: Is that offensive? Is that offensive? I am so sorry.

C: Oh, wait. Offensive how?

G: That is how he speaks, right?

C: I think so. I don't remember.

G: No, but he speaks with like, a certain twang. Like, he doesn't speak the way Dean speaks, I would say.

C: I have erased all memory of this man's voice from my mind. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. And Dean is like, trying to brush it off as like, "Oh, I'm having a hangover," whatever. And they ask for coffee. He asks where to get some signal. Like, he brings up his phone. And John like, looks at the phone and goes- well, the man, I suppose. [C laughs] We're still not sure it's John. Whatever. We've spoiled- like, you know what the fuck this episode is about. That's John. The guy's John. And he goes like, "Yeah, I mean the USS Enterprise?" Love that. I think this is our very first Star Trek reference in the show.

C: Oh, is that what it is?

G: Yeah.

C: Ohh, okay.

G: Why, what did you think it was?

C: Because when I googled "uss enterprise," the first thing that came up was like, an actual like-

G: Spaceship.

C: - aircraft carrier. No, it's like, a naval vessel that was part of the Vietnam War, and I was like, "Well, John's a filthy, filthy ex-Marine, so that's probably what he's referencing." But you're right. It's probably probably Star Trek because it's about how high-tech and futuristic Dean's phone was. But this is not our first Star Trek reference, because Dean in the last episode mentioned The Star Trek Experience as well as one of the things he wanted to go to before he-

G: Oh, yeah! This is interesting. Apparently, USS Enterprise has been like, a name for stuff prior. Like, this one is from 1958, history from 1960s to 1970s. Same goes for the other. Like, Star Trek happened in 1960-something, so they copied the name of the ship.

C: Yeah. Interesting

G: Or an aircraft- yeah.

C: But yeah, I do love this moment because John is talking like Dean. You know, like, that is how Dean would respond. He would be completely unhelpful and make a snarky pop culture reference.

G: Yeah!

C: So like, you know. That's where he gets it.

G: Yeah. Yeah. And then at some point like, the server comes up, and it's a guy, and he's wearing a very 70s outfit. And Dean comments about this. Like, he says, like, “Nice threads. You know Sonny and Cher broke up, right?" And then- [laughing] like, this is the most serious we see John in this episode. [C laughing] He goes [small, sad voice] "Sonny and Cher broke up?" [C laughs] And he shares a look with the guy, and it's a whole thing. I mean, I had to google this. I didn't know Sonny and Cher is like, a music duo/husband and wife, I think.

C: Yeah. They divorced in 1975. John is about to get his heart broken bits in 2 years.

G: Yeah. And then Dean is like, "What is going on?" So he starts looking around, and there's like, a headline. He sees that John is carrying a newspaper. He's reading a newspaper. And it's like, the headline is about Nixon, and the date is April 30th, 1973. Slay.

C: Yeah. So in 1973, Mary and John are both 19 years old. They are babies. They are tiny.

G: They are! But this is 19-year-old John? He looks like, 23. Like, they look like that, you know?

C: Oh, well, Billie Piper was 23 when she played Rose in Season 1 of new Doctor Who, who is a 19-year-old, so.

G: No, I think more what I'm trying to say is, like, people from older generations, because they dress that way, even if they're younger, they look older. Because, like, in our head, like, the clothes are- you know what I mean?

C: Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

G: Yeah, like, we associate the clothes with the era, with the generation. So therefore, like, if they wear those clothes, they'll look older, no matter what. I like that.

C: I'm also just very bothered by it not being November 2nd, or like, November 1st because, the Azazel deal happens tomorrow. Like, I thought that part of demon deals is that it's like, exactly 10 years, but he just meant like, 10 years-ish. Like, 10 years, and also like, 6 months.

G: Yeah, that's true. It should have been November.

C: Yeah. Sad!

G: Yeah. And then somebody enters the diner and goes, "Hey, Winchester!" And Dean looks over. obviously. And then the guy like, goes over him towards John and shakes John's hand,

and Dean like, turns around, like, "What?" The guy comes over and is like, "How are you doing, corporal?" And like, the- the John. [laughs] John is like talking to this guy, and the guy namedrops that, you know, "Good to have home, John." Blah blah blah. And Dean looks at him and goes, "Dad?" [C laughs] And the guy who John is talking to says, "Say hello to your old man for me." Which is an interesting line. Because I thought-

C: Oh, yeah. Isn't Henry Winchester missing? [laughs]

G: Yeah. "Say hello to your missing, probably dead dad for me." [C laughs] Love Henry Winchester as well, by the way.

C: I don't know much about him, but I've heard him described as a DILF.

G: Season 8. He is a DILF! That's my only comment.

C: Speaking of dilves, why does this man look nothing like JDM?

G: Who? Current guy?

C: The young John actor just doesn't look like JDM. Which is fine.

G: I think his name's Matt. Like, Matt something.

C: I'm going to look up young Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Maybe he just aged very weird.

G: Young- oh, the last time we looked up young Jeffrey Dean Morgan- [laughing]

C: Oh. You started moaning and whimpering? [G laughing]

G: Yeah. So I'm not going to do that.

C: He doesn't look that much like the young John-

G: Matt Cohen?

C: But he also doesn't look that much like himself. He mostly looks like Elvis. So.

G: Yeah. Yeah! I think it's- this is fascinating because Matt Cohen- let's look up Matt Cohen. He is in Supernatural for so little.

C: Mm.

G: He was in, I think, 4 episodes.

C: In 3 episodes. "In the Beginning," "The Song Remains the Same," and "Baby," it says.

G: Yeah, he was in "Baby." Love that scene, actually. But like, he was in 3 episodes, he directed 1 episode, and yet [laughs] this guy is in the Supernatural fucking con circuit. [C laughs] And I remember thinking at some point like, "Damn. Like, you can literally milk the shit out of anything in this show." Like, you're in one episode of this show. If you're beloved enough by the fandom, you can literally milk the shit out of like, the con circuit.

C: Yeah.

G: I respect that. I respect that.

C: I don't [G laughs], but I support him.

G: I support him. He was literally in 3 episodes. To be fair, he has a significant role. Like, John Winchester is a significant character, and he played a significant character. And also, "Baby" is pretty cool. Like, his scene, in "Baby" is pretty cool. So I forgive him.

So the man walks away, and John is trying to drink his coffee and read his newspaper, but, like, he can't stop not noticing Dean, who is just staring at him, mouth agape. And he finally turns to Dean and goes, "Do we know each other?" And Dean just goes, "I guess not." And John is like, "Okay," and he stands up and goes, "Take it easy, pal." And I love that. I love the word "pal." I love it. And then we get the title card.

-

C: So Dean walks out of the diner, and, you know, he turns a corner, and who's there? Who's there? Who's there? The hottest person alive? Hello? Castiel? Him? He's there

G: He is there.

C: Yeah, and we haven't mentioned yet that much how fun it is the way that angels appear and disappear in Supernatural.

G: Yeah! It's like a sleight-of-hand situation.

C: They never show them fucking Powerpoint transition disappearing into the air.

G: They should, though. [C laughs] Like, I want to see Cas go from a completely- this joke is ruined because I forgot the word.

C: Solid?

G: What do you call the opposite of transparent?

C: Opaque?

G: Okay, like- We should, though we should see Cas go from completely opaque to translucent to transparent. I would love to see it.

C: Yeah. Yeah. They should do it in pieces so that we see his skeletal system.

G: [laughing] Yeah! They should remove his clothes first, and-

C: No!

G: No. But like, I would love to see Cas's muscular system.

C: The thing about Cas is that he's not hot without the trench coat.

G: Yeah, that's true.

C: Is this a controversial take?

G: He has to be like-

C: The trenchcoat stays on in bed.

G: Exactly. He takes off everything, and then he puts the trenchcoat on.

C: Exactly.

G: Yeah.

C: Anyway, so yeah, it's a sleight-of-hand situation. It's always that like, the camera's away, and then it's swivels over, and then either like, an angel has appeared or disappeared. And it looks really cool.

G: It just reminds me of this- one time I went to a birthday party when I was really young, and one of the trick was like, the clown was saying that, like, "I'm gonna turn this spoon- I'm going to bend this spoon without touching it." And then, like, he has a clown buddy. Like, he has an assistant. And the clown assistant like, goes up to his ear and goes like, whispers something, and then he goes, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we have our- a special guest arriving right now!" And then he points towards the entrance of the venue, which is like, at the back of the room. So you go look at it, and then, the moment you look forward he's like, "I guess our special guest is delayed. Anyway! The spoon has been bent." [both laughing]

C: Oh my god, that's so low-effort!

G: [laughing] This is a core memory for me.

C: Oh my god, this is so unrelated, I don't know why I'm bringing this up. You can put it in an outtake or something. But like, when you talk about magic tricks, the main thing that I remember is like, at, like, my high school senior, like, going away fest, like, they hired a hypnotist, and they like, got like, our class president as a volunteer, and he was hypnotizing him. And he was like, "Oh, like, imagine a girl like, a beautiful girl, and like, you're getting married," and like, this guy like, half-hypnotized mumbles, "I'm gay." [both laughing] Like, it's-

G: [laughing] He literally is gay. He literally is gay.

C: Yeah. And then the magician goes, "Oh, well, even gay people can be lonely." Like- [both laughing] They hired this man! For high school senior going away thing. Anyway, that's the core memory for me. [G laughing]

G: Literally, even gay people can be lonely! [C laughs] What even is going on?

C: Anyway, so Dean is, you know, very intense, very in his emotions, asking like, "What is this?" And Cas just asks, "What does it look like?" And Dean asks, "Is it real?" And Cas says, "Very." I love that! It is very! And Dean asks about how this happens, and Cas says, “Wibbly wobbly timey wimey,” but he actually says-

G: [laughing] He says! [laughing]

C: What?

G: When I heard this, he said, "Time is fluid, Dean. It's not easy, but we can bend it on occasion." Like, my first thought is, "This is what the Warner Brothers guys [C screams] said to Misha Collins when-" [both laughing]

C: Fuck!

C: He literally did, though.

C: Sexuality is fluid, Misha. It's not easy, but we can bend it on occasion.

G: Literally!

C: God, this news fucking [laughing] is ruining our podcast.

G: Yeah, this podcast is not gonna age well at all.

C: Yeah. [laughing] One year later when he comes out as bi for real.

G: Yeah! You know.

C: God, I fucking hope not. Anyway.

Yeah. And Dean, as Misha Collins says, “Well, bend it back.”

G: Literally. Bend it back.

C: Yeah. And Cas says that he's here to "stop it." and Dean says, “Stop what? Is there something like, coming after my dad?” And then there's like, a car horn so he turns around, and then Cas disappears.

G: Bye, Cas.

C: Dean yells something about like, "Are you allergic to straight answers, you son of a bitch?" blah blah blah.

G: [laughing] He's allergic to straight answers for real.

C: Straight. Yeah. And I do really like that a lot of the angels we meet do something similar to this in that, you know, Gabriel had his "Mystery Spot" and "Changing Channels" episodes, and Zachariah had his Endverse, and, like- what's it called? "It's a Terrible Life"? - episodes. Like, each angel has some form of reality bending power that they use to teach Sam and Dean lessons. But, like, they're like, specific to the personalities of the angels. And I wonder what Cas's thing just being time travel means. Like, is it about him not having that much of an imagination right now, or having a commitment to the truth, or like, believing that Dean should like, learn his own lessons with like, just what happened, instead of like, actually manipulating like, things and making AUs and shit? Like, what does it mean?

G: It could be because he's lower down the order of angels.

C: Oh, yeah, that's true.

G: And, like, you like, you can't really create a new reality, because, you know.

C: Yeah. God, I love how Cas is not even high-ranking in any way.

G: Yeah!

C: And he's still shown to be the coolest motherfucker ever in the beginning of season 4.

G: He's just some angel.

-

G: We're at Rainbow Motors Car Dealership now. Love that.

C: Gay as hell. Fellas, is it gay to buy a car from Rainbow Motors?

G: Yeah. And there's a salesman, and he is selling John a van.

C: Yes. It's beautiful. The show was made worse by them not driving around in this car.

G: They need to be in a van. Dean like, shows up. He's leaning up against a car-

C: I think we need to describe what this van looks like, because I feel like, "van" doesn't describe it well enough. It is [both] beige. It is a Volkswagen. And it is shaped like-

G: A fridge.

C: Like, it has like, a square face, maybe a rectangle face, like, tall way rectangle face. And then, like, probably like, front seat, and then 2 rows after it, probably. But it's also not very big. It just looks like a cube that was slightly stretched and beige.

G: It literally does look like a fridge, though. Like, it looks like, one of those fridges that are like, you know what I mean? Like, "oh, a cute fridge," like, for your skincare and stuff? You know people do that?

C: They do what?

G: They put like, a fridge in their room, and it's for skincare.

C: I own one bottle of acne wash and 2 bottles of expired acne wash [G laughs] because I didn't use enough of them before the expiration date.

G: I am the type of person where, if my skincare is expired, I go, "God take the wheel," and then I put it on my face. I'm pretty sure all my skincare is expired

C: Real and correct.

G: Love that. Love that. I don't even use moisturizer on my face anymore. I use body lotion my face. Life is a fuck.

C: You own body lotion? That is different from my life.

G: I have psoriasis!

C: That's a good point. Is that called body lotion even if it's like- I assumed it was like, medical grade something something.

G: No, no, no. I just use unscented body lotion.

C: Oh, okay.

G: Yeah. And Dean is like, [annoying voice] "That's not the one you wanttt." That's not the voice he puts on, but, like, it could have been. It could have been.

C: He is splayed out across the hood of the Impala like a Playboy magazine model.

G: Yeah. At this point, the Chevy Impala is already old. It's almost a decade old already.

C: I mean, if we're rounding 6 up to 10, sure.

G: No, but like, it is, though. Like, at some point, like, is it like, 5 years? The cutoff. Like, after 5 years, you should probably change your car. That's what people say.

C: What? Five?

G: That's what people say. We don't follow that. We bought a secondhand car.

C: Who says that? Does anyone say that? Five years?

G: I think, like, in Japan, they say that. Like, that's what my mom told me.

C: Okay. I was about- When you said that "In Japan, they say that," I was like, "Did you get this from Yakuza or from Ace Attorney?" [G laughs/screams]

G: I'm trying to look. I'm trying to look. But [laughs] that is such a funny thing to say. My mom told me that. And like, you know how there's a lot of Japanese, like, what do you call it? Like, they just sell you stuff? What do you call that?

C: Salespeople?

G: Dollar store?

C: Oh, like Daiso? Like Daiso?

G: No, not Daiso. Big ones. Like, they sell you fridges and stuff.

C: Like, a department store, or- like Sears? What is Sears?

G: No, it's like a- I think it's like secondhand shop, but it's like, appliances.

C: Okay. Oh, interesting.

G: Or like, you know, like, plates, stuff like that. And like, I asked my mom once like, "Why is it that there are so many shops that are like, 'Oh, these all of these stuff are from Japan,' and it's like, almost new." Like, there's a stovetop, and it's almost new and it's from Japan or whatever. And my mom said like, "Oh, people in Japan just like, get rid of things after 5 years." [laughs] So that's where I got that from. Maybe she was lying to me.

C: Okay, I hope we're not perpetuating stereotypes about Japanese people in Busty Asian Beauties, the podcast. [both laughing]

G: No, no- are there- I mean, obviously there's not many stores like that in the United States, but there's a lot in the Philippines.

C: As far as I remember, I haven't encountered them.

G: Like, the joke is like, the Philippines is where, you know, people dispose their shit. So like, yeah. I don't know. Is 5 years old for a car?

C: I don't think so. Like, we still have a car that is as old as I am.

G: Yeah, and I'm pretty sure the car that is as old as I am or older than me, even though it's not with our family anymore, is still running. So like, I don't think it's that old. But like, 40 years. That's old for a car, right?

C: 40? Yeah, I think so. At some point, the owner dies.

G: Yeah. [laughs] Like, if the owner died inside the car, like, that old. Yeah.

C: Yeah.

G: And you know what? No, John did not die inside the Impala. I was gonna say some convoluted reason, some convoluted way-

C: Dean was supposed to die inside the Impala.

G: Yeah. He was meant to die inside the Impala but he didn't-

C: Which is very sad.

G: And John didn't die inside the Impala.

C: Which is very sad.

G: Has anyone died inside the Impala? Mary. [laughs]

C: Did she?

G: [laughing] I mean, you said she died, and she drove off into the ether, and then like, she comes back alive or whatever.

C: Oh, Mary in the fucking Winchesters. I think she never actually died. They just assumed that she was gonna die. But then she comes out like, passed out in the back seat, and Dean carries her out, or some shit. I don't know.

G: Love that. Love that. [laughing] I'm still laughing at "Where did you learn that? Ace Attorney or Yakuza?" [both laugh] God. Yeah.

Anyway, Dean says like, “Oh. I'm not following you or anything, but I didn't thank you for the coffee this morning, so I'm gonna repay the favor.” And then he opens up the Impala, and then he starts telling John like, "This has blahblah horsepower and blahblah-" well, he doesn't say horsepower. He says “horses,” which is funny to me.

C: Horses.

G: And then like, barrels and stuff? I don't fucking know anything about cars.

C: Yeah.

G: And then John literally just goes, "You know, man, you're right." Which is like, so wild. Like, his heart was not in that van at all if, like, a random, weird guy who is following him shows up and is like, "Hey, you should buy this other car," and he's like, "Yeah, I bet."

C: Well, doesn't he say later that he's only buying the van because he promised Mary he would buy the van?

G: No, yeah. But like, still! You should commit.

C: Okay, also, did you notice the deleted scene in the transcript, where, after John drives the car over, the deleted scene is just that after Mary sees the Impala, she says, “I hate it.” Like, they just cut that line out. [both laughing]

G: And she does hate it!

C: But she's fucked that car

G: She's fucked in that car? That's true.

C: She has fucked that car.

G: What do you mean?

C: As in, when she comes back to life, doesn't she like, greet the car like, "Hey, Baby," in a way where it's like, "Oh, she's fucked that car."

G: Well, she fucked in the car for sure, so I'm just going off of that.

C: Yes. And she also stuck her strap-on into the exhaust pipes.

G: [laughs] Yeah, maybe perhaps. That scene is so funny. Anyway, let's talk about future seasons in future episodes.

C: Yeah, okay.

G: They introduce themselves. And John, you know, says he's John Winchester and Dean obviously can't say he's Dean Winchester, so he says he's Dean Van Halen. He's so funny.

C: Stupidass.

G: Also, like, I looked up, and apparently Van Halen was formed in 1973. But like, they didn't become famous until after. So, like, this is fine.

C: Oh, okay. That's fine then. Yeah.

G: Yeah. Dean starts sniffing out the case. He's like, "Oh, I was a bit hung over. But like, I was getting the chills. Like, did you get any cold spots?" And John, like, completely unaware, just keeps on going like, "No," "no," about everything. Like, at some point, Dean is like, "Did you happen to smell any sulfur?" Do you think, Crystal, that if you smelled sulfur, you'd know exactly what it smells like?

C: Well, it's supposed to smell like rotten eggs. I feel like I know what rotten eggs smell like.

G: You've smelled a rotten egg?

C: It's more likely that I've smelled sulfur than a rotten egg. Like, in a science experiment.

G: Yeah. But like, you recognize that immediately?

C: I think so.

G: Okay, good for you, then. [C laughing] Fucking-

C: Nerd.

G: - non-binary ass looking person in STEM. [C laughing]

G: Okay. [laughs] At some point, Dean asks for cattle mutilations, and John just goes, "Dude. What the fuck?"

C: He says, “Okay, mister, stop it.” I love that.

G: "Okay, mister."

C: Does he think Dean's older than him? Dean is older than him. How old is Dean at this point? Dean was 26 in the first season-

G: 29. 29.

C: Oh my god. Dean's 10 years older than John right now!

G: And he doesn't look like it. I mean, I guess it's because of the whole like-

C: Drop the skincare routine.

G: No, because we know. Like, we know. So that's why. But he literally is 29! And I've been saying this. I have been saying this, and other people have been saying this, there's an AMV for it and everything. But he literally met Cas when he was 29! It makes it so so so so emo. Because of that fucking one song-

C: Oh, the post that's like, "If you're worried about not finding love early, remember that Dean and Cas met when Dean was 29 and Cas was a 1 billion or some shit"?

G: No, literally, though. Like, he met Cas at 29.

C: Yeah.

G: I- like, one time, I was talking to a friend, and I literally brought this up. Like, she was telling me that, like, "I'm so afraid like, when you're young, like, love is different, and like, it's just difficult to love someone you didn't grow up with." And I was like, "Girl. [laughing] Dean and Cas [both laughing] met when Dean was 29." [both laughing/screaming]

C: And she immediately felt better forever and never had an insecurity again?

G: Yeah, it worked.

C: Nice.

G: Destiel therapy works.

Dean like, just goes like, "Oh, okay, fine, I'll stop. Watch out for yourself, okay?" And John's like, "Okay." And despite all this, despite all the weirdness that Dean just exhibited, the car salesperson goes up and goes, "So?" And John goes, "I'll take this car."

C: Yeah, like, "Watch out for yourself, okay?" makes it seem like Dean is like, sent to assassinate him and there is a bomb in this car.

G: Yeah! [laughs] And he still took it!

C: He still took it.

G: Yeah.

-

C: So we cut to outside the Campbells' house. It's like, a nice house. It's got white walls, and, I don't know. It's fun. And he drives up in an Impala, and then we see Mary!

G: Hi, Mary!

C: It's Mary. She looks so good. She has like, wavy hair, and she's wearing this like-

G: Do you think she's wearing a wig?

C: Oh, like, the actress?

G: Yeah.

C: I can't tell.

G: Sorry for cutting you off.

C: Don't worry. I can't tell. Do you think she's wearing a wig?

G: I don't know. I think every blonde person is wearing a wig ever. [both laugh] I don't think I've ever seen genuine like, born blonde-type blonde hair in my life.

C: Yeah. That makes sense.

G: So like, whenever I see it on TV, I'm like, "Hm. Is that what it looks like?" Yeah. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. I think it's not a wig.

G: Yeah, but she looks like a Barbie doll. So I was like, "Is that- is the hair synthetic?" I would love it if it is. I mean, isn't wearing wigs a thing in like, television and movies and stuff? Or is that just in movies?

C: Yeah, there are a lot of wigs in movies, at least. And there's one very important wig from Party City in Supernatural. [G laughs]

G: No, I think what I'm thinking about this is perhaps because Mary's hair is so 70s, and like, maybe during the 70s, there was more wigs in movies. You know what I mean? So like, the the look has associated with wigs to me or whatever.

C: Huh, okay.

G: Whatever. But like, every time I look at her, I'm like, "Her hair is so beautiful. Is it synthetic? Would love to know. Would love to have that hair." And also, her eyelashes are so, so, so long! I know she's wearing mascara, but still.

C: Yeah. Her eyes are huge, her eyelashes are long. Yeah.

G: Her brows are normal.

C: Her brows are normal, which is the most important part of it. And I love her outfit. Like, she's wearing like, a white cowboy shirt sort of thing. There's like-

G: Sam has worn something similar to this. Remember?

C: Yeah, like, earlier in Season 4, or-?

G: I don't know. Maybe like, maybe he wears it in the future, but he wears like, something that looks kind of like this. And I love it.

C: Yeah. And there's like, roses ironed onto the shoulders, and like, she's in jeans, and she's wearing this like, braided leather belt, and she just looks so good! I love her fit. She like, comes out of the house and runs over and sees the Impala, and she's like, "What's this?" So she asks John like, "Hey, what the fuck is this like? Like, why isn't this the van?" And John starts going like, "Mary, this is better than the van! This has got a 327 and a four-barrel carburetor-" I, for all I know, he's making up words, but he probably isn't. Like, his mom is a mechanic, so I guess he knows shit.

G: And he is a mechanic from a family of mechanics, as he says later.

C: That is true. And Dean goes, "Mom?"

G: Ooh.

C: And he decides to continue spying on them into their date. They're at a diner. They're drinking milkshakes. Mary is a strawberry girl, so true. And we get, you know, a lovely, lovely line. [laughs] I just think that Jeremy Carver is obsessed with incest. Where Dean, watching through the window, goes, "Sammy, wherever you are, Mom is a babe. I'm going to Hell. Again."

G: Again.

C: Put him back in the- Put him back in the ground. Like, not enough people are saying this, [G laughs] but we just need to- like, for 50 cents, you can help put another Dean Winchester back in the ground.

G: Yeah.

C: It's very unfunny, and "I'm going to Hell," and then the "again," like, Jeremy Carver's working way too hard to hammer the joke home. It's not working for me.

Alright. So we cut inside the diner, and they're talking about how Mary's dad doesn't approve of John. Apparently, they've been dating for years, and it's still a problem. Mary says that he's just protective, and John goes like, "Oh, does he have a problem with you hooking up with a mechanic from a family of mechanics?" What is the Campbells' like, cover job? Like, are they going around telling everyone they're like, the CEO of PepsiCo? Like, they don't have jobs, do they? Besides hunting? Or do they?

G: Why is this the issue? I don't know.

C: I don't know. And then Mary goes like, "No, I love you for exactly what you are." Which John echoes later in the episode, right?

G: Yeah. It's so corny. But like, I understand, they're young, whatever.

C: Yeah. I still read Mary as aromantic, or I find that the most interesting reading of Mary. So her saying corny shit that doesn't seem to make any- doesn't seem to have any real sentiment behind it feels right. And she goes like, "Okay, wait. I'll be right back." And she heads out somewhere, and then John pulls out like, a little ring box from inside his jacket. But he wasn't planning to propose at this dinner thing, because he didn't, so I don't know why he has it on him now.

G: Well, I mean, I think that's reasonable. Like, you get a ring, you bring it everywhere.

C: Yeah, I guess fanfiction has had that happen before. [G laughs]

G: Which is your only basis for romance.

C: Yes.

G: That's such a mean thing to say, I'm so sorry! I am so sorry.

C: Don't worry. [laughs] I did not read it as a personal slight, just like, a general thing you would say.

G: Literally an observation.

C: 19 is so early to get engaged, says the guy who got engaged at 21. [laughs] But anyway.

G: Yeah! You know, recently, Crystal asked me- [both laughing]

C: Offered.

G: Offered marriage.

C: For a visa. But now that we're saying this on a podcast, we can never do it, because the government will know that it's fake. So there goes that chance.

G: It literally is for the visa, though, is the thing. But, you know, technically, I am also Crystal's ex-fiance. So that's great.

C: Good point. I offered it, and you were like, "Huh, maybe," and then in this moment, we made it impossible. So good job, you did it.

G: Yeah.

So outside the diner, Dean is still, you know, watching in, and is like, "What's happening?" And then Mary shows up behind Dean and starts attacking the shit out of him. It's- I like Mary's wiping style.

C: Yeah.

G: Because it's like, it's obvious that, like, she wasn't taught self-defense. She was taught how to attack. But also specifically, she was taught how to attack a man. And I like that. She kicks him in the dick-

C: In the crotch, yeah.

G: Yeah, and, I don't know. I like her stance and everything. This is all unrelated to what I said earlier, but like, I don't know. The way she holds her hands up, I was like, "Yeah, that's realistic, I think." I've never been in a fight, but like, I've tried to go do kickboxing in my life. And it's like, yeah, love that for her. She points out that this guy, Dean - love that. "This guy." - She points out that Dean has been following them since, like, her house, and Dean's like, "I don't know what you're talking about!" And Mary's like, still trying to attack him when Dean grabs her and like, pins her against the wall, and he goes like, "Let's talk about this," and Mary is like, "No, no, no!" And then Dean sees the bracelet. And the bracelet is, like, one of those bracelets that you see on Etsy-

C: Yeah, it's a charm bracelet.

G: - that's like "Supernatural Charm Bracelet." And you literally- I don't know why I said it like that, but you literally do see this on Etsy. If look up "Supernatural-" like, I don't know. "spn blah blah blah" on Etsy, this is what will show up. And Dean sees this and like, slowly takes his hand off her and goes-

C: Oh, to clarify, like, there are charms on it that are like, anti-possession, like, blah blah blah.

G: [laughing] No, it's not like, a Cas charm or whatever. [both laugh]

C: And this is such a good reveal! Because we didn't know, and John doesn't know either, right?

G: Yeah! Like, it's the fact that it's unknown to like, everyone at all. And, do you think like, John figured out at some point?

C: No.

G: He should have, right?

C: He should have, but I don't think he did. I mean, I'm confused about how she explained her dad's corpse right next to him after her dad tried to kill him [G laughs] at the end of this episode, but, like, I feel like she explained it. Because John didn't know about hunting until Mary died, right?

G: Yeah, but like, he was talking to everyone related to Mary, you know.

C: After she died.

G: Yeah, but somebody's gotta give, right?

C: Eh, I mean, if all of them are distrustful, I don't think somebody had to.

G: That's true.

C: And I don't think he's that close with Mary's family, anyway. It's not like any of them offered to take Sam and Dean in. Or like, Sam and Dean didn't really seem to have extended family on Mary's side that they knew.

G: That's true.

C: Yeah. And I just love that like, we don't even learn this from Ruby when she was doing all her background research on Mary.

G: Yeah, when she was like, "Sam, do this, do that, do this, do that." We don't find it out from there. It really is just you have to go back to the past.

C: Yeah. And also, like, all of Mary's friends and family were killed by demons after she died as a cover-up. So there was no way for them to know.

G: Yeah, but it's kind of unknown whether like, those deaths are recent or whatever.

C: Oh, that's true. That's true. They were like, in like, 2004-type shit. You're right.

G: Yeah.

C: So they could have known. But they didn't know. And I feel like this is the first part of the breaking down the Mary mythology, as like, you know, "innocent, pure, civilian, didn't know anything, and was just the victim of this demon for no reason." And it's so fun! I love it. I love it, and they've been building up to it for multiple seasons now, and it's great. God fucking bless.

-

C: We go back to John, Mary, husband and wife, bringing home a brand new car.

G: Yeah.

C: His name is Baby, and I'm big brother Dean. But anyway [both laugh]- but, right, so he takes her home after the date. And, you know, they kiss. And Dean is standing behind a tree, so apparently, he and Mary have arranged to meet up after the date. Dean does some corny shit where he's like, "You can trust me because we're all hunters. So like, we're practically [both] family."

G: So fucking corny.

C: Yeah. And Mary is like, "Oh, my dad will probably not love this," and Dean's like, “Oh my god, I haave to meet him," because I guess he probably knew as a child that his grandparents were dead, so this would have been his only chance. And she takes him inside, and you know, Samuel's- like, he gives him a quiz about how to kill a vampire to make sure he's a hunter, but then he says that he doesn't trust other hunters, so he still wants Dean to fuck off. But then, Deanna, who is his wife, Dean's grandmother, etc., is like, "Oh, stop being so mean. I'm gonna invite him to join us for dinner." And this is when Deanna reveals that her name is Deanna and her husband's name is Samuel. And Dean is surprised at this, which means that he did not know who he and Sam were named after.

Does he think it's corny? Is that what the "really?" is about.

G: No, I don't think he's- well, I don't think it's corny, but I don't know what he thinks.

C: Mm. I think it's corny because it was clearly written for this episode. Like, Jeremy Carver was like, "Oh, I don't know what Mary's parents should be named." And then he stared at a sheet of paper, and then slowly wrote down "Sam" and "Dean." And then he added several letters to the end of both of those words.

-

G: So they sit down for dinner. And this scene, I find so interesting. I mean, I'll probably put this at the end, whatever. But like, in Pentiment, which is a game that I love, there is a portion where you can choose who to have lunch and dinner with, and then you eat with them. And like, eating with them, based on what you're eating and the conversations you're having during the meal, you can find out things about who these people are, and like, about the case that you're trying to solve.

C: Yeah.

G: And like, I tried to observe this scene from that perspective. I didn't really get a good block of what they were eating. I think it's just like, mashed potatoes or whatever the fuck.

C: I think there was salad there also?

G: Yeah. But I think what I paid most close attention to is the body language.

C: Mm. You're a body language expert?

G: Is that a reference to anything?

C: I think there's just people who call themselves body language experts who are really annoying on the internet, that's it. [both laugh]

G: Yeah. And I am really annoying on the internet, so it fits.

Samuel is like, turned away for like, a big part of the meal. He is sitting- like, he's turned to the side, and I thought that was so interesting. And like, he only turns to Dean, really, when they start talking about like, his case, and Dean is like, "Oh, we kind of have the same case, I think." I thought it was interesting also- like, in Pentiment, I happened to have one meal with a family where the dad is so fucking annoying, and everyone in his family is like, so grueled by this, and, like, it reminded me of this. And it's like, I think it's so fascinating sometimes, you know how like, the dad is the head of the table and also controls where the conversation is and how the conversation goes. I don't really have a comment to make other than, you know, it's a thing that happens. But, like, I think it's so interesting, especially when I see it in media. Because I don't really experience that that much, but like, it's so dominant, especially in American media, I feel, where the dad is the one who is doing the talking and blah blah blah blah.

So Deanna starts asking questions about like, if Dean is from Lawrence, and Dean says like, “It's been a while, things sure have changed. I think.” Which, you know, if you get transported back through time, I feel like, try to be more [C laughs]- like, he keeps on trying to make these jokes that are like, only for him. And it's like, "Dude, shut the fuck up." Just talk normally.

And then they start- like, Samuel starts asking if he's working a job, and he's like, "I don't trust other hunters, either, you know," and Mary asks why Dean was following John and her, and he says that he thought John was in danger but now he doesn't think so. And Deanna starts making comments about John being like, "Oh, John, like, getting involved with the supernatural? What a funny concept!" And then Samuel makes a face, and Mary is like, "I saw that." And John, this is when we learn- well, we learned earlier. But this is when we see that Samuel doesn't really like John. Like, he thinks John is like, too naive. And Mary says a funny line. Like, she says. “So what? You'd rather me with a guy like this?" to Dean with such obvious distaste, and like, "eugh!" Like, "You want me to be with a guy like this?" And Dean is like, [hurt] "What? What? What?" like, he's so fucking annoying. [laughing] Samuel said, "Of course not." [both laughing] I was laughing my ass off. Literally "You want me to be with a guy like Dean?" "Of course not."

C: Yeah. I'm so glad we finally had a woman on Supernatural that doesn't think Dean is so hot. And she's only allowed to do that because she is his mother.

G: Literally.

C: But at least we got there eventually.

G: We got there eventually. And Dean asks Samuel if he is working a job, and they start talking about this one farm, and then they figure out that it's demonic omens is what's happening. Dean says that “This sounds like the exact same thing I'm hunting. So if we go together, we can take this out quick." And Samuel turns this down in a "I don't work with people. Don't you understand that?"

C: Yeah. Also, like, I feel like, we don't learn that much about Deanna in this episode-

G: We really don't.

C: But she does chime in when they're talking about the case where she talks about like, electrical storms being part of the omens, and how they've ordered like, graphs from the weather service. So I think it can be implied that she is like, more on the research end. Like, she's still involved in cases, but not in like, direct field work.

G: She's like the Bobby of the family.

C: Yeah.

-

C: We cut to the farm, the Whitshire farm, which is where the case is. And Mary and Samuel are outside of the truck, and Samuel's in a priest outfit. Mary is not really dressed for combat. She's like, in a dress and cowboy boots, but like, she looks great.

G: Should have been a nun. [C laughs] That's my hot take. Put her in a-

C: Habit?

G: What do you call it? Habit.

C: A wimple?

G: Literally.

C: Mary's like, "I don't really want to be here," but Samuel is like, "This is the family business," and asks if she'd rather be waving palms at a bunch of dumb jocks, which means, I guess that's college, right? That's what he thinks she would do in college? Be a cheerleader?

G: He literally was like, "Would you rather have extracurricular activities?" [C laughs] And I literally do not rather have extracurricular activities. So right.

C: Yeah. I wonder if Mary wanted to go to college. Like, she is quite Sam-coded in this episode at points, and I wonder if wanting to go to college is part of that at all.

G: Yeah. "I want to get out."

C: So Mary goes off to interview the victim's son, who's leaning by a tree, whereas Samuel goes over to the house. And after he knocks on the door, Dean opens it, and he is also in a priest outfit.

G: Yas!

C: Where did Dean get this outfit?

G: Yeah, literally, he doesn't have a car-

C: Fucking murdered a priest? [G laughs]

G: He doesn't have a car. He doesn't know this town. Where the fuck did he-

C: He has a car later. I assume he stole a car.

G: Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

C: But yeah, he got a priest outfit, and he's there, and, you know, Samuel's surprised, and Dean's like, "Oh, wow! What a coincidence! Hello! Here's my associate who's fucking old. He's so fucking old."

G: He says, “This is our senior senior priest.” [both laugh] He's so funny.

C: Yeah. And so he's been interviewing the victim's wife. And Samuel asks a few questions and hands her like-

G: Cake.

C: Some food. I can't tell what it is. Cake. Yeah. Do you like, he had to bake that himself?

G: I would assume not. 'Cause it's in- it's covered by like, plastic, or whatever

C: Which implies that he made it himself, because it's not in like, a ready-made like, box, right?

G: Actually have no idea. Because it's on a platter. It's covered by, like, plastic, like, what what is that? C: Yeah, saran wrap?

G: But it's not covered by saran wrap. It's covered by a plastic.

C: Oh, is it? Okay. Okay. Then, yeah, I don't know. I'll assume he bought it then.

And Samuel asks the wife a bit, but, you know, she's just upset that her husband died, and she doesn't have any information to give. So Dean is just like, "Okay, I'm gonna head out." So he goes over to talk to Mary and the son, and Mary notices Dean, and is like, "Okay, cool. Charlie, do you want to tell the father here what you just told me?" And what we learn is that Mr. Whitshire, when he got drunk, he would hit Charlie's mom. And a stranger came over recently, a week ago, and asked Charlie if he wanted the beatings to stop, and he just said like, "Yes." And now his dad is dead.

G: Yeah.

C: And Dean asked if the stranger wanted anything. And Charlie just says, like, “Okay, he said that like, about 10 years from now, he said he'd like, come over for a favor and want something then. But I just thought like, he was crazy and wasn't actually saying anything real." Okay, in this case, and also in the case of Mary's friend- Well, maybe not. Okay, in this case, I don't think a kiss happened, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Like, it seems like Charlie would not kiss a guy that he thought was crazy. Like, it seems like he had no clue that a real transaction happened. What are the rules here? Is it that Charlie's a kid,and they don't do demon kisses for kids?

G: I have no idea.

C: Yeah, 'cause the reason I'm so stuck on this kiss thing is that Jeremy Carver thought it was necessary to have the Mary/Samuel!Azazel kiss, you know. And it's like, "Okay, if you have to show that, then like, why skip the Johnzazel kiss, or why skip like, Bela as a little child kiss, or like, have Charlie probably clearly not kissing this guy?" Like, I think that all of these are things that don't need a kiss, but, like, you kept some of them.

So Mary and Dean discuss it in private a little, and they're like, "Yeah, demon deal." And then Mary asks Charlie what this guy looks like, and he says he was "about 5’10, white and normal-looking." And I like, that, he said white because I feel like they don't say "white" when they ask people about descriptions in Supernatural most of the time. They're sort of operating off of the idea that it's the default. So I'm glad that he said it. But I feel like maybe the reason Jeremy Carver put it in was he was like, "Oh, they don't say the race in present-day because we're like, in an enlightened, post-race society, but in 1973, they do see color." [G laughs]

G: [laughing] I don't think- [laughs]

C: But I don't know Jeremy Carver's head. I don't know his life. But that is sort of what I assumed was going on here. But I think everyone should say "white" when there's a white guy.

Mary asks if there's anything else, and Charlie is like, "Well, there was one thing. When the light hit his eyes in a weird way, they looked..." And Dean goes, "Oh, were they black or red?" And Charlie says, “No, [both] they were yellow!" [G screams]

G: I was so ecstatic. Like, I mean, obviously, I knew that this is where the episode is going. But like, I don't know. The way they did the whole like, reveal of like, it's Yellow-Eyes, I thought it was so cool, and I was so ecstatic when the reveal happened. Because, like, "Okay, the episode's picking up!" Like, "Dean is about to go ball to the wall crazy!" Because it's Yellow-Eyes. Like, he's literally here. And like, the anticipation of, like, Dean doesn't even know where this is going. Like, he thinks he does. He thinks this is all a ploy to get him and Sam out of the life, and, like, I don't know, like, maybe stopping this will stop the apocalypse also. He doesn't know that this is just a lesson to be learned, and he can't do anything, and like, he will try so hard and nothing will happen, and in a way that trying will result in Mary dying.

C: Yup.

G: Because if he didn't figure out- if he didn't tell-

C: Yeah, if he didn't know where the next place the demon was gonna hit, then Mary wouldn't have gone there, and she wouldn't have caught the attention of Yellow-Eyes and such and such.

G: Yeah, like, exactly. Like, in a way, the narrative was always doomed, but also, he doomed the narrative.

C: Do we know who Charlie is the parent of? Is this an earlier iteration of the psychic kids, or is Charlie, perhaps, the parent of a psychic kid that we know.

G: Perhaps he's a parent.

C: Oh, yeah, I know. Like, is he like, the parent of like, one of the rounds of psychic kids death games that we didn't see, or like do you think- who do you think he's the parent of?

G: Obviously, one whose mother didn't die 'cause like- Well, no, because like, Mary, only died because she entered that room. It wasn't because she had to die. So like, the person who makes the deal doesn't have to die.

C: Yeah.

G: I don't know. Who do you think is Charlie a parent of?

C: I don't know.

G: He looks a little bit like the guy with the van. What's his name?

C: Andy?

G: Andy! He looks a little bit like Andy.

C: Nice. Okay, that's my vote also, then. This is Andy's dad.

G: Slay.

-

G: So we go to the Campbell house, and Dean is starting to get a little freaked out, a little hyped up. And he slams a map down on the table, and he's like- they're starting to talk about "I know what this thing is. This thing killed my family. You're in danger. We're all in danger."

C: Also, there's a really fun shot, where, like, while he's yelling, it shows Deanna like, chopping a banana really aggressively or like, quickly.

G: Yeah, not even holding the banana. The banana is just down on the chopping board, and she's just slamming her fucking knife on it. I respect that.

C: Yeah.

G: Deanna comes in like, we don't know what it is even. It could be a shapeshifter, it could be a demon, it could be- and Dean just goes like, "I know what it is, and I'm gonna kill it. That's all the talking I need to do." And like, Dean says that he knows that Daniel Elkins in Colorado has the Colt. The Colt. And Samuel, of course has heard of the Colt, but he thinks it's not real.

C: Yeah, he says he used to tell it to Mary as a bedtime story, which I think is a joke. But it's fun to think of like, a literal like, hunter childhood that involves bedtime stories.

G: Bedtime stories, yes. Dean insists that it's true, and he's gonna get it. Dean basically says that in the journal that he has his, his dad wrote everything and every opportunity that the yellow-eyed demon showed up. And it's obvious that, like, the pages are full of like, future appearances at this point. And Samuel asks, like, "How did your dad know all that?" And he's like [both laugh], he says [laughing], “My dad can see the future.”

C: He's so funny! He's so funny.

G: God, it's so fucking funny. And then he says, like, “Tomorrow, the demon is gonna go to Liddy Walsh. And it's about 3 miles from here, and etc., etc." And Dean says like, "I know you guys think I'm crazy, but I'm gonna stop this thing. And I know where this thing is gonna to be, and I'm gonna kill it."

C: He says, “I'm gonna stop it once and for all.” And I think he's like-

G: Echoing Cas?

C: Reiterating Cas's words, yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: yeah, Good for him. Oh, how many fucking deals is Azazel making? Like, he's doing like, one a day like, all in Kansas?

G: Yeah, he really chose a spot and fucking ran with it. He is committed to the bit.

C: He has his stupid little Nazi speech-

G: God.

C: - about how he's like, picking the best genes to like, whatever the fuck. So like, there's like, a lot of really cool people in Kansas, like, within like, 5 miles of Mary's house, I guess?

-

C: As Dean heads out, he stops by to say goodbye to Mary, and she's like, there, going through her records. She seems disappointed that he's going so soon, and he says, “I wanted to tell you, for what it's worth, it doesn't matter what your dad thinks. I like that John kid. I think you two are meant to be.” [both] Booo.

Have you seen the web wave that uses the poem "I Go Back to May 1937" by Sharon Olds?

G: I think I have, yeah, but like, tell me about it.

C: Oh, I mean, it is like, about Dean, and like, John and Mary, and I think the lines in it- should I just read the entire fucking poem?

G: Yeah, go for it.

C: I don't know how to say it. Okay. I will read the entire fucking poem.

I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges,

I see my father strolling out

under the ochre sandstone arch, the   

red tiles glinting like bent

plates of blood behind his head, I

see my mother with a few light books at her hip

standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks,

the wrought-iron gate still open behind her, its

sword-tips aglow in the May air,

they are about to graduate, they are about to get married,   

they are kids, they are dumb, all they know is they are   

innocent, they would never hurt anybody.   

I want to go up to them and say Stop,   

don’t do it—she’s the wrong woman,   

he’s the wrong man, you are going to do things

you cannot imagine you would ever do,   

you are going to do bad things to children,

you are going to suffer in ways you have not heard of,

you are going to want to die. I want to go

up to them there in the late May sunlight and say it,

her hungry pretty face turning to me,

her pitiful beautiful untouched body,

his arrogant handsome face turning to me,   

his pitiful beautiful untouched body,   

but I don’t do it. I want to live. I

take them up like the male and female

paper dolls and bang them together

at the hips, like chips of flint, as if to

strike sparks from them, I say

Do what you are going to do, and I will tell about it.

Agh!!!! Okay, that's all I have to say.

G: That poem made me emotional. Like, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. [both laugh]

C: It's a good fucking poem! And he's literally- He wants to live, and he takes them up like the male and female paper dolls and bangs them together at the hips! Agh! Because after this, he says quietly, like, “Hell, I'm depending on it,” like, he is depending on them getting together to live. Ah!

And he asks Mary, "What is John like?" And she's like, "Why?" And he says, “I'm just curious.” Ah, god! Because in “Home,” like, they interviewed someone, and he was like, "Oh, like, John was like, a great kid, and he doted on his children, and he was a great husband, but after his wife died, like, something just went wrong." And, like, Dean probably remembers bit of John not being like, the drill sergeant that he is, but not that much, and he wants to know.

G: Also, I wanna say, it's so funny to me that John was like- I understand that it's a pivotal part of your life, and it's like, blah blah blah! But he was like, in a war for a couple of years [laughing], and he made that his personality for the rest of his life after Mary died. [C laughing] Like, he wasn't even like, in the military. You know what I mean? Like, he's not like, a military man throughout his whole life.

C: Right, yeah. How many years did he fight. Like, 3? [both laugh]

G: Is this so mean? Is this so mean? It is mean.

C: I mean, a lot of- it is very possible to get PTSD from like, things that are 3 years or less. But I know what you mean in that like, there are people who have served for way longer and like, wear their uniform all the time for fun and like, are always talking about being in the military, and like, that's not really John. He just like, decided to turn into that as like, a forever coping mechanism, and that's stupid.

G: Yeah. I'm still thinking about the poem you mentioned, and it's like, it makes me so so so sad that, like, you see them here, and they are just kids, though, like, is the thing.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, you hear them talk to each other, and it's the most generic like, "I love you! I'll never leave you!" and it's like, you don't know the intensity of those words, you know? And like, you don't know the things that will happen, and, "I'll accept you for whoever you are," but like, what if- I don't know. I'm just thinking too, like, that episode in Season 14 where John comes back, and it's like, ah. Even then, like, the love is still there, blah blah blah. We'll get more into this, I feel, when we talk about how John and Mary were basically red-string-of-fate-d by Heaven.

C: Yup.

G: I think that would be a more interesting time to have this kind of conversation, but it is also interesting the whole like, "What do you do with a love that's meant to be in a way that maybe shouldn't have been?" you know, like blah blah blah. God, like, the thing about John and Mary is like, their story is very interesting. It's just that I would rather die than watch The Winchesters. [both laugh]

C: I'm sure that The Winchesters did not make them very interesting or tell their story the way that it is told in Supernatural with all the fate and shit. I mean, well, actually, The Winchesters doesn't matter, because- oh, right, I forgot to tell you. Or do you not know this? This isn't the John and Mary of this universe.

G: What the fuck?

C: This is an alternative universe. Dean has been taking his like, dimension-hopping car to a bunch of alternate universes, like, finding ones where he can make John and Mary happy.

G: That is wild shit. That's not even his parents!

C: Yeah. Yeah. Part of the alternate of the universe is that they're- the, like, chromosomes decided to take different things from both of them, so the kids that they have are not even going to be Sam and Dean. I know this in my heart.

G: Jesus Christ.

C: And the first thing Mary says is, “I don't know,” which I think is so something. She says, “I don't know. He's sweet. Kind. Even after the war, after everything, he still believes in happily ever after, you know? He's everything a hunter isn't." And that's- I know that's something that people have latched onto is that Mary tells John, like, "I love you for what you are," and John tells Mary, "I love you for who you are," and like, this is a "what he is," and what he is is not a hunter.

G: Yeah.

C: He is her special little not-a-hunter chance at normality. She is his- I don't know, like, sort of real girl, but he also knows nothing about her, but he's a paper doll to her. Good for her.

G: God. I feel like they really could have done so much like, so so much with John and Mary in terms of, like, when you're young, like, what love is like. But I don't think that's at all where this story is gonna go. It's fascinating to me because they take it at face value, too, like, the fact that it's like, "They're so young and stupid" kind of vibe. And it's like, I don't know.

C: Yeah, no, the writers of Supernatural are like, "And this is real, correct love."

G: Yeah, like, it's never examined in a certain way. Like, it's never examined in a- you said like, she said, like, "I don't know" about like, her first reaction to like, "What is John like?" I don't know. That's super interesting. Yeah.

C: Also, she said they've been dating for years, but they're both 19, and John was like, in the army before this, right? How have they been dating for years? Did they go to the same high school? I don't think that's part of the John and Mary lore, is it?

G: [laughs] The only John and Mary lore I know is John and Mary, husband and wife, and they brought home a brand new life! [C laughs]

C: That's a very good point. What if they're not even 19? I looked up their birthdays, but let me check again. Like, maybe I'm talking out of my absolute ass.

G: Exactly.

C: Okay. John was born in 1954, which is, plus 19, is 1973. Right? Yeah? And Mary was born in, yeah, 1954. Okay, yes, they are both 19, cool.

And then Mary tells Dean like, "Can I tell you something?" And like, she sort of like, squees or something, and she goes like, "He's gonna ask me to marry him. Tomorrow, I think." And she's so excited, and she says, like, “Oh, my dad's gonna explode!" - which he does [laughs] - "But I don't care! I'll run away if I have to."

G: "My dad's gonna scream, cry, moan, throw up, and die," and he literally does.

C: And stab himself. Yeah. And she says that she'll run away if she has to. God, she's so Sam-coded! And she says, "It's just that I love John, and..." And she sort of pauses and looks around, like she's not sure if she should say this next part out out loud, and Dean prompts her, and she says, “I want to get out. This job, this life. I hate it. I want a family. I want to be safe. You know the worst thing I can think of? The very worst thing? Is for my children to be raised into this like I was. No, I won't let it happen." And Dean blinks back tears and so do I.

G: Yeah, me, too.

C: Yeah. [laughs] And the last part is a little bit too much the writers going, "Hey, winkedy-wink," but it's still effective! It still works. And like, the whole safe thing, I think, is also reiterated by Sam, right, in his first episode? Doesn't he say something like "Not normal. Safe." like, about what he wanted from his life? Yeah. Agh. She wants to get out! This job, this life, she hates it! Ah.

And Dean goes like- he's crying a bit, and he goes, "Yeah." And Mary asks if he's okay, and he's like, "Yes." And then he says, like, “Can I tell you something? And can you promise me something, even if it sounds weird.” And like, he's so intense while saying this, and a single man tear is slipping down his face as he says, “On November 2nd, 1983, don't get out of bed, no matter what you hear or what you see.” And she says, “Okay.” And he leaves.

Her ass is not remembering. [laughs]

G: Her ass is not remembering. But this scene really got to me, I feel.

C: Yeah. I think he knows, also, that-

G: It's not gonna happen. It's wishful thinking.

C: Yeah. But like, he can't not have tried.

G: Yeah.

-

G: We're back on the road. Dean is driving, and Cas shows up next to him. And then he asks, like, "Why not bring Sam back?" and Cas is like, "You had to do this alone." And Dean asks, "You don't give a shit that, like, Sam is looking for me right now?" [laughing] And Cas just goes [C laughs], "Sam's not looking for you." And I was like, "That's so fucking funny."

C: God, that iss.

G: Go fucking tell him, Cas. Go fucking tell him. [laughs]

C: Okay, Dean's been here for like, over a day or whatever, right?

G: Yeah. It seems like it's the same night.

C: Yeah, it seems like when he comes back, it's at the exact same time, just like in Doctor Who. So there's no reason for Sam to be looking for him, anyway.

G: Yeah. But also, even if he was, he's not. [both laughing] Yeah. And then tries to confirm to Cas, like, "If I do this," meaning kill the demon, the family curse breaks, like, they get to live happily ever after, and Sam and I grow up a normal life. And then Cas points out that if you, Dean, if you alter the the past, you will alter the future, and you will never be hunter- you'll never be hunters, like, you and Sam, and all the people you saved, they'll die. Which we've talked about in the past.

C: Yeah, we did that in 2.20 already.

G: Yeah, that, like, the other hunters can like, deal with it, like, Sam and Dean are not the only hunters. But like, given this, like, let's pretend this is what's happening. Like, Dean is like, "Yeah, of course I realize that." And Cas asks, "You don't give a shit?" [both laughing] I mean, Cas says, "You don't care?" And Dean says, “I care plenty, but I cannot let my parents die. Like, I can't. Not if I can stop it."

C: And he can't. He can't stop it.

G: And then he looks over at Cas. Cas has disappeared. But I think this is a good insight on Dean, and that at the end of the day, he's just his parents' kids. No. He's just his parents' kid.

C: Yeah.

G: And no matter what, no matter how angry he has become at John for like, the whole like, "I didn't deserve what Dad put me through, I don't deserve to go to Hell," and no matter how distant Mary is in the past, like, the moment that there's an opportunity to have had a life with those people, he would choose it over and over again. And it's like, yeah.

C: It's also that the John that he is angry at was- I mean, was always part of John, but like, only became John's main facade after this happened. So like, he's like, "This is not even the same guy. I can't be angry at him the way that I was angry at my dad."

G: And it's also fascinating that he says, like, “Mom and Dad get to be happy, mumber one.And me and Sam get to be happy too." Like, this is like-

C: He goes, "Well, me and Sam get to be normal" is sort of what his thing is. Mom and Dad get to be happy, and me and Sam get to be normal. Fascinating.

[laughing] What did you say Cas said? "Who give a shit?" or "And you don't give a shit?"

G: What do you mean?

C: After Cas said, "You'll never become hunters and all the people you saved will die," [laughing] I literally paused my screen and said, "Who give a shit?" to Cas, and I continue-

G: Literally. Cas, listen to me. Cas. [C laughing] Nobody give a shit. Like, you need to know this.

C: Yeah. I just- the thing is, I feel like- I like Cas in this episode. He feels a little weaker in this episode than he has in the past two.

G: But that's because he's not around much.

C: I think it's also- Well, he's around even less in 4.02.

G: But like, he has a lot of lines there, lots of exposition, lots of opportunity to be a character.

C: Yeah, but I guess it's more that this thing about him saying that Dean should care about like, the people that he saved doesn't- it seems like the writers talking through him. It doesn't seem to align with what he said in the last episode about like, "We have bigger things to deal with." Dean was like, "People died because, like, you guys didn't get the witnesses under control," and Cas was just like, "We had other things to deal with." Like, I don't think he would be someone who cared that much about the people that Dean saved, at least at this point in time. Like, he doesn't seem to hold hunting to be like, this glorious institution of like, goodness the way that the show does. Like, he doesn't seem to distinguish between hunters and civilians, at least in 4.02. It's just like, "Oh, like, those are all bugs."

G: Yeah, that's interesting. Like, he-

C: So this part I thought was weird.

G: Yeah, I suppose. But like, I think it also is like, asking Dean, like, "Where do your priorities lie?" Like, I think that's a reasonable thing to ask someone. Yeah, especially because, you know, Dean is so adamant about the whole saving people last episode.

C: That's true. This could be a response to what Dean said last time. Like, "Oh, what about like, everything you said last week?" Okay, yeah. I like that reading. Ugh. Dean was so annoying last week. "People are dying down here. Why aren't you helping us?" Like, 20 people died of ghosts, like, tell the angels to- tell the angel to cure tuberculosis if you actually care.

G: Literally. Well, to be fair, I mean, this is my fucking like- I don't know. What do you call when you're talking about something? Like, soapbox? [laughs]

C: Yeah, this is your soapbox to stand on, right?

G: My soapbox is like, tuberculosis is cured. There is a cure for tuberculosis. [laughs]

C: Okay, it's more that- okay, by cure, I mean, like, make it more- distributed, etc etc.

G: Accessible, yeah yeah yeah, all that.

-

G: So Dean goes to Daniel Elkin's house. Who is, you know, the guy with the Colt. And he is in front of the safe, already having cracked it, already having the Colt in his hand. And the guy comes in, points the gun at him, and is like, "Drop that. I can't let you get that Colt," blah blah blah. But Dean is saying, "I just need it for a while. I'll return it to you. It's just my one chance to save my family. I need this gun." And he says, like, “If you want to stop me, you can kill me. It's fine. But like, I am gonna take the Colt.” And the guy doesn't shoot him, and I like that. I like this little character moment for the guy

C: Yeah. You know what I don't like? How no one in this episode has heard of holy water before? Like, how does he not know this is the demon taking away the one demon-killing weapon?

G: This one is weird. What the fuck does this mean? "There are some hunters in Lawrence. The Campbells." And then he goes, "Never heard of them," and then Dean goes, "That's where she'll be."

C: He's she/her-ing the gun. [G laughs] He's saying, "After I leave, like, you can go to the Campbells and they'll have the gun." [G laughing]

G: Okay. I was truly wondering, like, "Is he talking about Mary? Like, why is he bringing up Mary right now?"

C: No. He's she/her-ing the fucking gun.

G: She's literally a she/her. [C laughs]

-

C: So we cut to the Campbells, and, you know, Mary and Samuel are like, cleaning or assembling guns. Mary looks really cool. And she asked after Dean, and Samuel says, "He's gonna go kill a demon." And when Mary asks where, Samuel says, “Oh, he's heading to the Walsh's place,” and Mary goes, “Wait, Liddy Walsh? Like, Dad, that's my friend. Like, she is my friend. We have to go help her.” Which is nice. I like that Mary has friends.

G: Yeah.

C: But it is just for plot. Like, we don't even see her interact with Liddy at all. Like, they're in the same room, and they don't even talk. Like, Liddy isn't like, “Oh my god, Mary, like, are you okay?” when she gets thrown or any of that shit. So like, whatever, I guess.

G: Yeah. And like, I don't know. But thinking about the fact that Mary has contact outside of the family, even if the contact doesn't know that they're hunters is so interesting because Sam and Dean are so far removed from everyone around them that wasn't in the hunting community. So it's fascinating that there is this alternative hunting lifestyle where you're a hunter, you're a family of hunters, but your child still gets to live a semi-normal life.

C: Yeah.

G: So, I don't know. It could have been interesting to see them interact. Like, maybe even after. Like, it's fascinating that like, Samuel's the one to comfort her-

C: Yeah, Mary trying to explain hunting to Liddy or something. That would be nice.

She runs out to the car. Well, she says, “I'll be in the car,” which implies that there's only one car. So [laughing] when she drives back home after this, did she leave Samuel and Dean stranded with no car?

G: So real.

C: Yeah. After she heads out, we get the funniest joke ever! of Samuel going, "Oh, so she wants to hunt, and then she doesn't want to hunt. Is this some female time of month thing?" And then like, just to show like, "Oh, we're not misogynistic," they show like, Deanna, like, sighing, so it's like, "Look, no, it's just Samuel being stupid!"

G: Yeah.

C: Ugh, boring shit, who give a shit, whatever, I hate you

G: The thing about periods is when people who get periods make fun of like, periods and talk about how like, "Oh, when I get my period, like, I'm fucking crazy and insane balls to the wall," I'm like, "Haha, that's funny."

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: But like, the moment someone who doesn't get a period does it, I'm like, "I literally will skin you alive."

C: [laughs] Yup. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And I mean, I guess, like, I get sort of the utility of this as like, a character-building moment for Samuel. Like, maybe it does matter that, like, Mary's dad is a little misogynistic, and even though she is being trained into hunting, like, her mom is still doing a housewife role, and most of the time she's on screen, she's like, cooking. But like, I also don't know if it's that deep. So whatever.

G: Like [laughs] this is so funny because you're- like, the way you're talking about it is like, "They're treating their female characters with misogyny. But also, maybe they intended and [C laughing] it's a reading into misogyny and it's criticizing misogyny," and I don't know at what point we're making excuses for this show, man. Like, I think we are, though. We are making excuses for this show.

C: Yeah.

G: "Here's my critique of misogyny where everyone every woman in the scene is treated with misogyny and the show doesn't acknowledge it with any meaningful way." [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah.

-

C: So we're at the Welfare's house.

Is Liddy Walsh Asian, or is she-

G: Yes!

C: Yes?

G: I think so.

C: She looks kind of like she's Asian Yay! Another Asian woman. Big win

G: Big win. And she doesn't die.

C: Yes. And she's gonna be okay.

G: Hell yeah. She's literally gonna be okay.

C: Good for her.

G: Good for her. Although I suppose, like, a relative of hers is gonna die of cancer. So RIP.

C: That is true. Sorry, Liddy.

She's on the couch with a doctor, and he's like, "I'm sorry," like someone, presumably her dad, like, his cancer has metastasized, like, he's gonna die. And they're sitting way too close. And the doctor's like, "There's one way. A cure. But I'll need your help." And she's like, "Okay, yes, what do I have to do?" And he says, “Oh, just nothing. In 10 years I'm just gonna come to you and ask for something then, but it'll be nothing you'll miss.” Which is not- the deal with Mary is that he can enter her house in 10 years and be undisturbed, right? What is this version? I'm gonna come in and ask you politely if I can drip blood into your child's mouth? [G laughs]

G: I don't know.

C: Whatever. Yeah. And they're like, holding hands at this point and leaning in. It's weird. And then his eyes turn yellow and Liddy starts screaming. And at this, the door busts open, and Samuel comes in, and he starts shooting Azazel. But Azazel, you know, sends the gun flying across the room and pins Samuel against a wall. And he's about to like, I don't know, kill, do something with Samuel when Mary shows up behind him with a knife. And he sees her and immediately goes pervert mode for some reason. He's all like, "Where the hell have they been hiding you? I like you. You got a lot of spunk." or whatever because he wants to fill her with his spunk, etc., etc..

G: I quite like the line "Where the hell have they been hiding you?" Like, it implies a certain, like, Mary is still protected by her family in some way.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, they don't let her hunt like, big things that much. I think that's a character-building or at least a dynamic-building moment for the Campbells of like, even though Mary grew up in this environment, and they're pretty open about it with her, they're still protecting her in some way because this demon didn't did  know that she's here. Although, like, yeah, he is a fucking creep, and it's a whole thing.

C: Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, she slices him with the knife but he eventually, like, gets it out of her hands, and she is also pinned against a wall. And then Dean comes in with the Colt, and Azazel uses Mary as like, a human shield. He asks Dean, "Where did you get that gun?" And Dean and Mary do like, a fun little thing where like, Dean, like, gets the gun ready, and he makes like, a nod to Mary, and like, she uses that nod to mean like, "Okay, in this second, I'm gonna break out of this guy's arms so that you can shoot and kill him." But unfortunately, Azazel escapes by, you know, black smoke out of the mouth, blah blah blah thing.

G: Yeah. It's fascinating to me because this felt so anti-climactic, and for obvious reasons. It's not the climax of the episode. But I wonder how Dean felt. Like, it's over.

C: He sort of sighs. He goes like, "Damn" to himself.

G: No, but, you know, it must have sucked so bad.

C: Yeah, like, he thought this was like, his chance to send his family.

G: And now the chance is gone.

C: And now Azazel might never come back.

-

G: So now they're outside the house, and Dean and Mary are talking, and Mary is like, "He told me he liked me," and she's like, "What did he mean by that?" You know, it's- sorry, Mary. And Samuel comes out and he says that, you know, he comforted Liddy, Liddy's gonna be fine.

C: Okay, wait. How do we know Azazel didn't just kill Liddy? We have no clue. Samuel's already possessed. Liddy could be dead for all we know.

G: No, for real, though. Oh, that sucks

C: Sorry, Liddy.

G: Sorry, Liddy.

C: Congratulations on being Asian! [G laughs]

G: Yeah. And then, you know, Samuel talks to Dean, and he's trying to compliment Dean, but Dean is like, "I missed the shot, so I'm not gonna take your compliment."

C: As soon as Samuel complimented Dean - 'cause I didn't know for sure when Azazel took him over - but as soon as that compliment happened, I was like, "Oh, that's Azazel. That's a classic Azazel move."

G: Oh, yeah, you're right! Yeah.

C: Yeah. And it being about Dean missing the shot is also, like, what happened last time Azazel complimented Dean, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Dean's like, "No, like, I wasted a bullet."

G: Yeah. Anyway, Dean tells Samuel that they need to talk alone. So they do. And here, back in the Campbell house, Dean tells Samuel that if they don't kill the yellow-eyed demon right now, Mary will die. And there's a a bit of like, a pushback where Samuel's like, "What the fuck are you on?" And Dean reveals that Mary is his mom, blah blah blah, and he's his grandchild. And he tells his name, he tells his birthday, and he tells where- when Mary gets killed by the yellow-eyed demon.

C: Yup.

G: And yeah, we go to Mary and John, and Mary is super upset, and John hugs her, asks what's wrong, and Mary says, “You promised you’d take me away. Do it now."

C: Generic-ass shit.

G: Yeah. And, you know, they climb into the car. It's a whole thing.

C: What do you mean by that? Like, are they leaving town? G: I think so.

C: Does she not want to pack a bag?

G: I think they're gonna elope.

C: Or say goodbye to her mom? Okay, so like, they'll come back after they're married.

G: Yeah.

C: Briefly. Okay, sure.

G: We go back to Dean and Samuel, and Samuel is saying that, like, "Okay, I believe you, whatever." And Dean brings out John's journal and the list of like, all the places that fucking Azazel went after this one. And he brings out the Colt, and, you know, Samuel tries to get it. Dean is like, "No, I'm not gonna give it to you." And Dean is like, "No, it's nothing personal. I just don't give it to other people." And Samuel's like, "Yeah it is personal. Because you're trying to kill me."

C: Yeah, baby!

G: And his eyes- Samuel's eyes turn yellow, and then Dean is like, slammed against the wall with a chair or something.

C: So fun. Love it. Love a twist.

G: You're right that he has been possessed for a while, and he probably did kill Liddy. What a sad, sad affair.

C: Sorry, Liddy.

C: Oh, the him! You're right that at the journal thing. Oh, sorry! No! You go ahead first.

G: But also like, the whole journal thing. Is it implied that he is the one who gave-

C: - Azazel the information?

G: Yeah. Like, the reason why Azazel was able to go to all the people he went through because he had this list.

C: I think so.

G: That's so horrible!

C: Yeah, which is very interesting, though. Like, it's a total closed loop of information. Like, no one actually came up with the idea.

G: Yeah.

C: But you know what's funny about the closed loop of information is that I like to imagine that Dean was completely wrong about what he said about the Impala's like, specs and stuff, but John was just imitating what he heard Dean say, but, like, Dean, was just imitating what he heard John say.

G: Yeah, for real.

C: So, like, neither of them know anything about the car.

So, you know, Azazel's attacking Dean and shit, and he's like, "Oh, so you're from the future." And he reveals that he knows about angels because he says, like, “There's only one thing that can do time travel, so you must have friends in high places.” And he goes like, “Oh, so I killed your mommy, and that's why you came all this way? To see lil' old me.” God, he's so fun! And oh, also, now that he's revealed himself, you know, he's acting completely different.

G: Yeah, he's being a creep again.

C: I don't remember what the first Azazel well actor played him like, but I feel like this is a decent reiteration of his demeanor and voice and stuff. Like, it's fun.

G: At the very least-

C: Shit! I didn't hear this next line. I didn't know what he called Mary. He says, “If that slut Mary’s your mommy, are you one of my psychic kids?” He called her a slut?

G: And for what?

C: For what? [laughs]

G: He's so horrible.

C: Yeah. Whatever. People call people sluts for no- Sorry. People call women sluts for no fucking reason in Supernatural, though. Like, Dean calls Ruby a slut, even though she's like, not had sex yet, like, as far as they're aware on the show so far.

G: Yeah. Ruby's a virgin, truly.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Human!Meg calls, like, Meg's demon outfit as slutty, even though it's like, less skin than her human outfit. It's just a word that means fucking nothing on Supernatural.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. But he's, okay, he's actually very excited at the idea that Dean could be one of the [both] psychic kids. Actually, speaking of, remember when Dean is telling Samuel about like, the future, blah blah blah stuff, Samuel asks, "What? Are you like a psychic or something?" And there's like, a long pause on Dean's face before he goes, "No." And I was like, "That was weird," but like, that's probably just like, a callback to this. Or like, a foreshadowing to this, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Okay, fun. So he like, sniffs Dean.

G: It's such a good scene, though. Like, he literally leans in and just smells the fuck out of her, and like, he's able to smell there and then that like-

C: They're not true mates.

G: - he doesn't have demon blood. Oh, god! [C laughs] That he doesn't have demon blood. And it's a throwback for me to [overlapping] "Laz Rise" where the girl- what's her name? The waitress, the demon waitress says that “I can smell you from a mile away” or something at Sam. And like, we don't know yet, but he was drinking demon blood, right? At that point?

C: Yes.

G: And it's like, that demon blood is what they can smell, and that's so interesting!

C: That is fun.

G: He literally is full of demon blood, and they can smell him from a mile away!

C: Yeah. Yeah. So he goes, "Okay, so it's not you." And then he goes. "Maybe you got a sis." And he pauses, and he goes, "Or a bro. That's terrific." Azazel misogyny moments.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. But then he's like, "Okay, well, that's great, because like, that means that my plan's gonna work out in the future." And, you know, he reveals that he doesn't want people's souls from the deals. He just wants their kids. And he wants to choose the perfect parents. And he's choosing them because "They're strong, they're pure, and they eat their Wheaties, My own little master race. They're ideal breeders."

G: Wild.

C: So, I don't know. Clearly, like, just callbacks to eugenics and Nazi terminology, like, on purpose. I don't know if there's that much to discuss here. I think what I find most interesting is that the angels do the exact same thing.

At this point, we notice that Deanna is in like, the kitchen and can see them. and is noticing that something is up. Dean makes like, a face at the "ideal breeders" thing, and Azazel's like, "Oh, no, no one's breeding with me. Though Mary?"

G: God!

C: "Man, I'd like to make an exception." Ew! Why? Ew.

She's his "favorite," supposedly, which is maybe- he's very excited that Sam's the one who made it. Or he's sad when he thinks that Jake is the one who made it, and he's happy when Sam's the one who makes it. Like, is it because of this, like, obsession with Mary that he's developed?

G: Yeah, I think it is connected. I don't think- like, now that we see this, perhaps he wasn't lying when he said that Sam is his favorite.

C: Oh, true, true, because he did call everyone his favorite. But maybe he actually meant it with Sam.

Dean asks the question that everyone is fucking asking, which is, "Why did you make the deals? Can't you just fucking go into people's houses?" And Azazel says some dumbass handwavey thing about how he needs to be invited. Or maybe- is this related to the mythology of like, Azazel for real or something, do you think?

G: I don't know. 'Cause like, I don't think other demons are like, "I need to be invited in the house!" Right?

C: Yeah. But like, maybe in the Bible or some shit, or in like, certain Jewish commentaries-

G: Like, him specifically.

C: Yeah, maybe. If any of you know things about like, Azazel as he appears in Judaism, or in Christianity, I guess, like, hit us up, let us know.

G: Yeah.

C: And he goes, "You know what I'm gonna do to your sibling? I'm gonna stand over their crib and I'm gonna bleed into their mouth." They/them Sam rights.

G: Real.

C: Yeah. But he says, basically, “Demon blood makes you big and strong.” And Dean asks if the plan is for like, the demon army thing. and he says, “No, I have, like, a way bigger endgame. But I am not gonna tell you because you have a bunch of angels who are spying in on me via you.”

G: No, what is that endgame?

C: I think that- Okay, at first I thought it was like, a Lucifer's vessel thing. But I don't know if he knows that. I think it's just the bringing about of the Apocalypse via killing Lilith.

G: Yeah, perhaps.

C: Like, you know, "I'll give someone the power, and then, like, they'll have like, this giant demon army, and be so strong, and then they'll be able to use their brain and explode Lilith and kill her or whatever." Though, okay, actually, does the Colt not work on Lilith?

G: No, I think it does.

C: Okay, why- or the demon knife? Does that not work on Lilith?

G: I don't think it does.

C: Okay. But the Colt works.

G: The Colt works for sure for everyone.

C: So why did Sam need to drink all the blood to kill Lilith if he could have just shot her with a gun?

G: 'Cause they didn't have the Colt.

C: Oh, yeah, I forgot.

G: It's a whole thing. Whole plotline.

C: Could Dean not just like- okay, I guess it would have been bad if he took it back to his timeline because then they wouldn't have it in the past anymore, but yeah.

G: I mean, they do do that in like, I think, in like, Season 6. There's a plotline where it's like- I'm not sure if it's the Colt-

C: They take it from the past?

G: I'm not sure if it's the Colt. But there is a thing that they go back in the past for, and then they do this whole thing where they formulate it so the day in the present, the thing gets delivered to their house. It's fucking funny as fuck.

C: Oh.

G: Love that episode though. Yeah, they go back to the Wild West, like, cowboy shit.

C: Yeah.

G: Love Sam's outfit in that episode. I don't remember anything else. Yeah.

C: Dean does a stupid-ass thing where he reveals that he is going to be the one to kill Azazel. Like, don't tell him that. Like, okay, I personally believe that the way Supernatural time travel works is that you can't change anything that's already happened, it's a fixed point. But, like, Dean still believes that he can save people and that his actions in the past matter. What you have done right now is ensure that like, in the future, Azazel comes to you as a baby and murders you so you can't kill him.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. But it is weird that Azazel never mentions this conversation when he sees Dean in like, Season 1, you know? But I guess I didn't know this episode was gonna happen yet. I guess we can say maybe that's the reason he spent more time talking to Dean than to Sam in the end of Season 1 if we want to Watsonian this

Azazel doesn't believe him. But Dean's like, "No, for real. I'm definitely going to kill you. Definitely, definitely."

G: "I'm not lying at all! I'm not lying at all!"

C: "I prommy!" G: "I'm being fucking for real!" [C laughs] He said it like that. He said, [whiny] "I'm being fucking for real right now!" [C laughs]

C: Yeah. And he was crying.

G: Yeah.

C: But Azazel's like, "Okay. Well, you know someone you're not gonna save? Me!" Oh, also, at this point, Deanna has been getting closer and closer to getting the Colt on the ground, but at this point, Azazel stabs himself in the stomach, killing Samuel, killing his vessel, and Deanna screams, "No!" So she's revealed that she is there.

And then, I don't know. Fight scene, fight scene. Azazel kills Deanna by breaking her neck.

G: Yeah.

C: Dean grabs the Colt, but Samuel/Azazel is gone, and she is dead, and Dean yells, "Mary!"

-

G: Yeah. And we go to Mary who is with John in a fucking car, parked- [laughs] Like, I thought they were- I thought they were stranded in the river! Like, I literally thought-

C: In the water?

G: I thought- I thought like, 'cause they were so near the water, I was like, "Damn. They swerved off, and they got stuck by the river bed." [C laughs]

C: Real.

G: But no. Like, John, is like, "It's no secret that I brought you here," and then he brings out the ring. And Mary is like, "There's things you don't know about me, John." And he goes, "So? I will always love you for exactly who you are."

C: Yup!

G: And then the yellow-eyed demon shows up, and like, pulls Mary out, and then he's like- He's still pretending to be Samuel at this point, and he's mad, etc., etc. And John is like, "No, sir, listen to me!" And John, like, keeps on trying to stop Samuel, from his perspective, from like, hurting Mary, because Mary is saying, "You're hurting me!" as, you know, her dad grabs her. And then [both laughing] Azazel literally just goes up to John, snaps his neck, and he dies instantly. [C laughing]

C: God, it's so funny! It was so funny.

G: It is pretty funny. And he falls.

C: I want to live in Mary's head for the five seconds when she thought that her fucking dad did that.

G: Yeah. And then, like, Mary, just goes, "You killed him." [both laugh] And then Azazel goes, "Yeah, but not just him. Mommy and Daddy, too." And then he shows that, you know, Samuel is dead. Like, stabbed himself.

C: And also his eyes are yellow at this point.

G: Yeah yeah yeah.

The yellow-eyed demon starts sweet-talking Mary, and he says that “Oh, I'll bring John back if you grant me permission to swing by your house ten years from now.”

C: Mary asks-

G: For her parents, yeah.

C: - if he can bring her parents back too, and he says, “No, that's not on the table.” And then he says, like, “This is good, actually, that your parents will be dead and John will be alive because it means you can escape hunting forever, and you can live a normal life with no more monsters,” blah blah blah.

G: Yeah.

C: He says, “No more monsters or fear. I'll make sure of it.” which implies that he's also going to protect her from like, supernatural creatures in her future life.

G: Which I assume like, in the 10 years, perhaps he did.

C: Yeah, perhaps he did.

G: Yeah.

C: Ah. Fascinating.

G: And, you know, he says that like, as long as Mary or anyone doesn't interrupt him at his visit, nobody is gonna get hurt. And "It's either this or spend the rest of your life desperate and alone."

C: Like it's not possible to have more than one boyfriend in your life. [laughs]

G: I mean when you're 19, it feels like that.

C: Yeah. I guess. Or she has a very outdated idea about virginity, and she's like, "No, I'm damaged goods now! No one will want me!" [laughs] Who knows?

G: Yeah. Anyway, we go back to Dean's-

C: At this point, Mary's fucking crying, right? Like, yeah, she's [both] sobbing.

G: Yeah. She's distraught.

C: And it's interesting, because at first, like, when he kills John, and like, he tells her about her parents, like she's like, angry, and like, very tightly wound up, and she tells him like, "I'll kill you. I swear to god." But then, like, as he keeps talking, like, you can see that like, fall away, and eventually, like, she goes from single woman tear to just sobbing.

G: Yeah. And then we go back to Dean's perspective, and he shows up. Mary is already kissing Azazel.

C: Mm-hm. It's graphic! In her dad's body. It's graphic. There's like, tongue, and it lasts way too long.

G: Yeah. Yeah. And Dean has the Colt. But before he can shoot, like, Azazel gets out of the body. And then John comes back to life.

C: Yeah.

G: And John and Mary are cradling each other as Cas appears. He puts a hand on Dean's shoulder, and Dean turns around. This is one of those iconic ones.

C: Mm.

G: The turning. You know, like, how in AMVs, like, people would do that?

C: Yeah, they have this touch a lot. Is it because the hand is on- Do you remember which shoulder Cas put the hand on?

G: No, I don't think so.

C: Do you think it's the handprint shoulder?

G: No, I mean I remember where the hand is, and I don't think it's the handprint shoulder.

C: Aw, okay. Sad!

G: Yeah. But they do the looking back thing a lot in Supernatural with Dean and Cas. I love it! And yeah. They disappear.

C: They disappear from 1973. G: And I love how the lingering shot is done because Dean disappears, right? But the camera doesn't disappear with him. We stay a bit on John and Mary and Samuel. And I quite like that, because, like, yeah, the story has ended from Dean's perspective, but these people, John and Mary specifically, still need to live through this. There's a sense of that.

C: Yeah. Also, just every shot of this last scene is like, iconic. Like, the scene of like- 'cause like, it's dark, and everything is just lit by the headlights of the car that Dean stole. So like, Azazel turning around, like, with his yellow eyes, and, like, Mary turning around and looking like a deer in the headlights, sort of, like, so scared and sad and stuff is like, it's good. The shots are good. They're iconic. They're very screenshotable.

-

C: So we get to the last scene. Dean gasps awake in the motel, and it's presumably like, the same day or whatever. And Cas is- Is he still sitting on the bed?

G: No, he's not.

C: Okay, he's standing near the bed. And Dean's upset. He says, “I couldn't stop any of it, and she still made the deal, and I bet like, right now, she still died in that nursery. So even my 'don't leave your room' thing didn't do anything.” And Cas says, "Don't be too hard on yourself. You couldn't have stopped it." And Dean like, stands up and goes, "What?" [G makes sad sound] Yeah. Sorry, dude. I just- I can't believe the whole time he thought he could do something. Like, up until the deal. He still thought he could do something. I guess he didn't live through "Mystery Spot." If Sam had been along, he would have been like, "I know exactly what this is. Let's just go somewhere else. We can't do anything about this." [laughs]

Okay, so what Cas says to Dean is "Destiny can't be changed, Dean. All roads lead to the same destination." And Dean asks, "Why did you send me back, then?" And Cas says, "It's for the truth. Now you know everything that we know about what Azazel did to your brother." This could have been an email. [both laugh] That's my thoughts. This is not a good explanation of why they sent Dean back. This could have been an email.

So Dean notices that that that Sam's bed is empty, and he goes like, "Where the fuck is Sam? Where the fuck is Sam?" And gives him an address, and Dean's about to head out, and Cas says, “Your brother is headed down a dangerous road, Dean, and we're not sure where it leads. So stop it. Or we will.”

G: I love that. Also, I love the shot where like, Dean goes, "What the hell are you talking about?" And instead of answering, Cas like, looks over at the bed, and the camera follows his sight.

C: Mm.

G: I just think it's so cool. Like, I think that's such a cool choice that like, communication for Cas is so un-straightforward. I mean, it's straightforward, like, but he's not- he's gonna tell you what he needs to tell you, but he's not gonna answer your questions. He asks after, "Where's Sam?" And before he answers the location, he says first, like, he communicates first what he wants to say. Like, it makes it feel like even if Dean is the one asking questions, Cas is the one in control of the conversation, and that is such an interesting and fun choice to make. Love that, truly.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. He's so good. And you're right, he's less of a character this episode, but still fun.

C: Yeah.

G: He was there. He looked good. [laughs] That's all that matters.

C: He served cunt.

G: He lived, served cunt, died 15 years later. Well, not 15. Just-

C: A lot of times. He dies at the end of Season 4, doesn't he?

G: Yeah. Dies a year later, 2 years later. I don't know, like, 4 years later? He dies so much. That's insane.

C: Yeah.

-

C: So, Grey, what are your thoughts on this episode?

G: Okay. So, I don't know. It was fine. When I was watching it, there were times where I got a little bit bored. But it's not too offensively boring, and I like the backstory. I like young Mary. I wish there was more John and Mary content that's more meaningful than what they served us. But I find meaning in the meaninglessness of it as well.

C: Yeah, yeah. Right, like, every time you were like, "They are saying the most generic things. And I'm reading that as like, them being young and not really understanding love," I was like, "I think Jeremy Carver might just be bad at writing romance." [both laugh]

G: No, literally, though. Literally, though.

C: But I do like, finding meeting in the meaninglessness. Yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: What I thought... This is a very important episode lore-wise. I like all the things we learned. And I liked young Mary a lot. I think you're right that there are moments when this episode is boring. Like, the concept is great, but like, I feel like as an email, [laughing] it would be about as good as it is as an episode. As long as the email included some screenshots of the nicer-looking shots and Mary's big big eyes. There's just so much- like, they never tell us how Mary explains the way them waking up like, with Samuel dead next to them. Like, I guess John probably remembers him like, snapping his neck. Is Mary fucking like, "I killed him to save you?" Like, how does she explain this away? We'll never know. And that's sad.

G: "We got attacked, and my dad-" I mean, I really don't know. Maybe, like, there's like, a memory wipe.

C: Maybe. That happens with the angels in "The Song Remains the Same." But I don't think what happens here unless the Azazel- yeah, okay, that's true. Azazel could have memory wiped it. But they are still waking up next to the corpse of her dad, and they are also going home, to her house where her mother lies dead on the kitchen floor. Like, I don't see how they're going to deal with that.

And I guess I wish that either the ending was more ambiguous so I wouldn't be so stuck on this like plot point or that we just saw how it was explained a bit more. Or that we saw how this particular thing affected John and Mary's relationship. Because it's like, this is the man that like, she has made a demon deal for, and like, for whom- Like, he said that her parents were never an option, but I feel like it does have to feel a little bit like she chose John over her parents. And like, that's interesting. Like, is there resentment there? What does that do to their relationship. I guess we'll never know.

G: Yeah. And like, I don't know.

C: She doesn't even like him that much, I think. Like, she thinks she does. But I don't think she actually does. And like, she can never break up with him now. Like, you know?

G: Yeah, that's true. You're stuck there. Once you sell- once you make a deal with a demon, you're stuck with the relationship for life.

C: Yeah, this is so House M.D. the lesbian couple that were about to break up, and then one of them gives the other one her kidney so that they can't.

G: No, for real, though.

C: Yeah.

-

G: Okay. So, Best Line/Worst Line. Shit!

C: Oh, well, best line is obvious, right? It's the thing where Mary says that she wants to get out and that she hates this life and she wants to be safe and have a family. And the worst thing possible is imagining her kids growing up like this.

G: Yeah, I suppose. I'll go with that. I'm not even gonna try [C laughs] to like, say something else. But I think my worst line is the period line. Like, just shut the fuck up.

C: Yeah. That was my worst line until I found out that he said "slut Mary," and now that is my worst line. [laughs] Spreadsheet.

G: How about spreadsheets? There wasn't any racism or homophobia I feel.

C: Yeah, not that I can recall.

G: Which is a win. Because, like, no racism is usually only reserved when there's no people of color. [laughs] But there's one!

C: Yeah! Liddy said like, a whole sentence! Good for her.

G: Yeah, and they didn't do a racism against her. I admire that, deeply.

C: Yeah. They just probably killed her off screen, which is like, normal Supernatural fare.

G: Yeah. I think for sexism, misogyny-

C: I'd give a 1, maybe?

G: Why 1? I think a 2.

C: Okay, a 2. Because of the slut Mary and the period line?

G: Slut Mary, period line, and also Deanna being such a-

C: Yeah, Deanna being such a housewife and also just the weird incest kiss, yeah.

G: I don't think, like, Deanna being a housewife is a bad thing. It's just that, like, especially given that this is like, a period piece in a way- I don't fucking know. But like, you have to think of it in like a- This is already an unconventional family, you know?

C: Right, yeah.

G: I think it's- Actually, maybe I'm retracting it. Like, I don't- Actually, I'm less offended by what her role is and more of "they just didn't give her anything."

C: Yeah.

G: Like, I understand that Samuel comes back. He becomes a future character. But they did not know that here. So why is it that the father in the hunting family, who is a hunter, gets so much of the screen time than the woman- the mother of the family, who is also a hunter. Like, she's also a hunter. And we've seen other hunter couples before. Like-

C: Right, like Tamara and Isaac, and they're very like, equally-matched.

G: Yeah, they're of equal footing, and this one feels like not that. And like, I understand that, you know, it's complicated, blah blah blah blah blah. But with Supernatural, like I said earlier, like misogyny in Supernatural is- like, the misogyny being a critic to the misogyny is like, I feel like it's giving it too much of a benefit of the doubt-type situation.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: I agree with that statement.

G: Also, it would have just been cool to for Deal to know his namesake.

C: Yeah, that's a good point.

G: He literally was named after her.

C: Also, just, in general, [laughs] don't people care about their grandmothers more than their grandfathers most of the time?

G: No, for real, though. No, for real.

C: Yeah.

G: Do you think that's like a- because we both grew up girls, and we both grew up in like, Asian households.

C: That's true. Maybe it's not universal everyone likes their grandmother better.

G: Yeah, so.

C: Good point. I don't know.

G: Oh, shit. I accidentally clicked the IMDb page, but I didn't- it didn't load. I was able to click away before it loaded.

C: Okay, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

G: But okay, let's go on IMDb. What's your ranking? rating?

C: I mean, I think time travels cool. I feel like, people would think time travel's cool. So-

G: I feel like I think people would think time travel's cool, but like, it's one of those situations where you'd make a little mistake, and it's like, "Oh, they're doing time travel exactly like this one movie, and it's not cool that they're ripping this movie off!"

C: That's true, that's true. They do get quite mad about that.

G: Yeah. Or it's a matter of "It's time travel, and all the fallacies," blah blah blah. So I think it's cool, but like, people get up in arms about it a lot.

C: Okay. Well, hm. "Are You There God?" got an 8.5. I think this is gonna get higher than that. So I'm gonna guess an 8.7?

G: I'm gonna guess an 8.4, actually. I'm going the other direction.

C: Okay.

G: Okay, let's check. Holy shit! It's a 9.2.

C: Oh, damn. Okay.

G: Let's see what the people have been saying. "One of the better episodes." I mean, I guess.

C: Well, there's a lot of Supernatural episodes. Yes, this is in the top 50%. I agree with that.

G: Yeah, this one says, “This is one of my most disliked episodes. It doesn't fit within the show. Time travel elements poorly thought out and feels much more sci-fi than horror fantasy."

C: Hm.

G: "It is pretty obvious that the writers eventually realize their mistake as two future episodes are devoted to retconning and smoothing out the plot holes this episode introduced." "Story changes for the worst. I don't get how this episode is so highly related. The guy they picked as John Winchester was a total miscast. Aside from being a pretty boy, [laughs] he was a big wuss." [C laughs]

C: Well, wait, okay. But John was like, a big wuss before Mary died. Isn't that the point of John?

G: No, they said [dramatically] "John was manly, tough, and strong before Mary died."

C: Oh my god. No he fucking wasn't.

G: "I thought this story was better before making Mary the hunter."

C: Oh my god.

G: "As a woman, I love strong, empowered female characters like Jody and Donna. But the writers got John all wrong. [C laughing] They didn't have to make John weak and clueless." This is so funny!

C: "A strong woman would never respect a weak guy. That alone I have to knock 7 stars off the rating." This is hilarious. From 2020! From October 2020! This isn't from 2008. This is from 3 years ago.

G: This person does not understand the appeal of men who are just little guys [C laughs], who are poor little guys. Just little, little weak little guys.

C: God. This fucking sucks! Okay.

G: I mean, that's pretty much it. That's so funny. Like, when we go read reviews, we just read the ones that are negative and then like, go, "Yeah, it's fine, we're good." [C laughs] But literally, though. Like, if they're just gonna compliment Supernatural, I don't need to hear it. [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. And do you agree that, like, Mary being-

C: It's been three hours??

G: Yeah, we've been recording for so fucking long.

C: Okay, yeah. So what were you gonna say? [laughs]

G: Do you agree that Mary, being, you know, blah blah blah.

C: Mary being the hunter makes the story a hundred times better.

G: No, yeah for real, though.

C: The story would fucking suck if Mary wasn't the hunter.

G: Like, she comes back.

C: Yeah.

G: I feel like people ignore that. She comes back, and that story is compelling because she was a hunter.

C: Yeah.

G: So yeah, that's my hot take.

So I think that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 4: "Metamorphosis." Are we? Are we discussing-

C: Yeah.

G: Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, and check out our merch at babp`od.redbubble.com.

G: Yeah! ou can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

-

[beep]

C: I did not know he was baby- was in "Baby" until today, so-

G: He was also baby. [C laughs] No, he was in "Baby," he like- ah, I don't know. I don't know if I should get into it here. Maybe I'll put this at the end of the episode-

C: We'll find out in like, 5 years-

G: No no no. No, I wanna tell you. I will edit this at the end of the episode. But in "Baby," Sam is having vi- you know how Season 11, like, they let Lucifer out? And there's a whole deal where Sam thinks God is speaking to him and he starts praying a lot, etc. etc., but turns out it's Lucifer?

C: Yeah.

G: In that episode, John shows up to him in a dream driving the Impala, and like, is trying to talk to him a la John Winchester, and Sam just clocks that it's not John. And "John" in quotation marks just goes like, "Yeah, I could never trick you." And Sam thinks this is a God vision. And it turns out it's Lucifer. God! Whatever the fuck they put in Season 11, I'm so looking forward to it. Like, Season 11 is so good to me.

C: Eileen's in it.

G: Eileen's in it, and also, it's so devastating. Like, it's such a sad, sad season. Like, Cas spends half the season possessed by Lucifer! It was devastating to me personally. [C laughs] It was so devastating to me. And also, like, the season ends, and like, Mary comes back- it's wild. It's a wild season.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. Anyway.

[toa-arania]

I've been having such a fucking day today. So I'm in London for a couple of days to do a trans thing, and I needed to be on the other side of London from where I live at ~11:30. I figured this would be fine - I know the journey takes roughly an hour because I've made it before, so I'll head out at half ten and get the train.

I arrive at the train station and it's closed. Thus begins the two hours of torment I have been enduring.

I thought to myself "it's fine, I know this bus route takes me to a nearby station that I've confirmed is open, I can go there. By the time I realised this bus was going to take an hour to get there, it was too late to do anything. 11:30 and I still hadn't even crossed the fucking river.

But it's fine. I'm a little delayed, but I'll just let them know and only be maybe half an hour late for a thing that goes to 5 anyway. I'll just get this train, change at oh that station is closed today too. Fine I'll change at this other one instead.

Now this statiom is weird because it's two stations that are a three minute walk from each other. I'm sure you can imagine my dismay when I got off at one, exited the station, and it turned out that the other station was *also closed*.

Now there were a lot of people around. I get stopped on the street to talk by randoms and especially charity people more than literally anyone else I know. Today marks my first time being stopped by a whole Vicar, who I guess sensed my despair and took me aside to pray for me. I never learnt whether he was normal about trans people or not because I tactically didn't mention that the event I'm trying to get to is a trans one.

So I had to walk back to the first statiom, deciding that I would try to get to King's Cross and get the train from there if I could. This was when I learnt that actually the station I wanted in the first place *isn't* closed today and that first train just lied to me. So with the light of fucking god imbued into my left wrist or something I got on the bloody train again for the messy sequence of interchanges that actually went entirely to plan and has now brought me to the line I have been trying to get for literally two hours now. As I write this I am on my wayto my destination, which mercifully has no fuckery today. It is a straight shot from there via a short (ish) walk.

Now the funny thing about travel. Is I have to do this in reverse later. Literally every single key station later will have some kind of fuckery. I may cry.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

WAIT WAIT— what if 👀 what if Yandere!Tubbo and Yandere!Tommy falling for the reader at the same time

BROO— THE ANGST POSSIBILITIES

ooooooOOOOO DAMN this one is gonna be good! I love the way you think! So I wrote this as headcanons, but I will write this as an actual story if requested. ^^

This is not exactly implied romantic??? I'm still scared about writing their characters as directly romantic????? I'll probably get braver about it but still lowkey worried.

Yandere!C!Tommy x GN!Reader x Yandere!C!Tubbo Headcanon/Fic

Tommy, at first, completely denied even acknowledging your existence.

Until he saw someone interact with you.

Then he would start pulling out his sword or glaring at them from across the room.

He would definitely pin them in an alleyway and threaten every single one of their canon lives.

Tommy, please. Niki was just trying to give you cookies.

He's the kind of Yandere that would greatly keep his distance both physically, emotionally and mentally. Basically, he would be a Tsundere Yandere.

Tubbo, on the other hand, would be extremely sweet to you.

Need netherite? He had an extra few ingots ready in his pockets!

Interacting with someone who wasn't him? Was he not good enough for you??? Fine. You don't deserve him.

He would cry to you and make you feel guilty OR completely ignore you for a week straight until you come crawling back to him and apologizing.

Straight up can flip emotions like a switch.

The first time either of them realized the other liked you as well, was when they were listening to Mellohi on their bench, watching the sunset when they saw you having a conversation with Ranboo at the bottom of the cliff.

"What're they doing talking to him?" Tommy growled lowly and leaned forward to glared at the enderman who was talking to you. He reached for his bow n' arrow before Tubbo grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks, "What? I don't want them talking to anyone but me."

"What do you mean 'anyone but you'?! You avoid them like they're a virus!" Tubbo stared at him, digging his fingers into Tommy's bicep a small bit to show his anger a bit more, "They should only be talking to me."

The blond turned towards his brunet friend and yanked his arm out of his grasp, "Excuse me?" He glared into Tubbo's dull blue eyes, gritting his teeth, "You do nothing but give them stuff!"

"And you treat them like shit and avoid them!" The smaller of the two retorted angrily, trying to keep his tone level enough to where you didn't hear.

Mellohi, the music that had been playing mere moments ago, slowly came to a stop and left nothing but silence and tension in the air. You had noticed them arguing from below, but Ranboo (who had heard their entire argument) decided to pull you away from them and bring you to the Tundra.

"Are you trying to take everything from me?!" Tommy tightened his grip on his diamond sword, although part of him knew that if Tubbo equipped his netherite armour, there would be absolutely no competition whatsoever.

"Take things from you?! They're a human being and you choose to ignore that fact when you ignore them or call them terrible names!"

"I treat everyone like that! You already have Ranboo, I don't understand why you're chasing after them with hearts in your eyes when you're fuckin' married! Loyal much! Oh wait, you aren't loyal, you EXILED ME!"

"It's platonic! I told you that already! And you're starting this again now, Tommy?!"

Ranboo actually felt nervous leaving you alone around both Tommy AND/OR Tubbo after hearing their entire argument that day.

Tommy, although now a lot nicer, became extremely clingy towards you and constantly would walk over and drag you away mid-conversation with anyone that wasn't him. ESPECIALLY if you were talking to Tubbo.

Man would bring you everywhere with him if you would let him.

Netherite mining? Get your pick.

To get new discs? Pack your bags, we're going on an adventure.

Straight up does everything he can do to get you away from Tubbo because he's petty.

He tried giving you as many gifts as Tubbo, but mans is broke.

Tubbo would get extremely annoyed by Tommy even just walking through the area when he was with you.

Would start to hold your hand or link arms with you (if you're comfortable), just so Tommy couldn't pull you away as easily.

Started to try guilt-tripping you into living in Snowchester, and even tried to get you to live in the mansion.

Ranboo actually lied to Tubbo, saying he was scared of enderwalking and hurting you, to convince Tubbo not to guilt-trip you further into living in the mansion.

Tubbo's constant gift-giving got so much more extreme.

Want netherite ingots to make armour?

Nope. No lifting a finger.

He already made you fully enchanted netherite god armour anyway.

Has definitely tried to convince Ranboo to let him involve you in the platonic marriage.

"Ranboo! My beloved!" Tubbo called jokingly, walking into their home. He kicked the snow on his boots before pulling down his hood and taking off his hat, hanging it on the hook as he took off his footwear, "I have a proposition for you!"

The monochrome-coloured man lifted his head and set down the journal in his hand, the ink likely still wet judging by the quill in his hand, "Yeah? What's that?" He placed the feathered pen in the pot of ink and turned to face his platonic husband.

"What would you say to extending our marriage to three people? Like a polyamorous relationship. Like Sapnap, Karl and Big Q?" Tubbo sat down in the chair beside him, watching as Ranboo was left reeling for a few seconds.

"W-well, one, I think you mean expanding. Two, with who?!" The tall male sat up quickly, bumping his leg on the table from his minor flailing, "A-and, and, what about Michael? Are you sure they can be trusted with him?"

Tubbo held out his hand to calm his friend down, making his friend put his hands down so he didn't accidentally hit something, "You know what I meant, and (Y/n)! Y'know... Like, the one with (h/l) (h/c) hair, (tall/short)! (Y/n), them!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know who they are, it's just..." He paused to gather his words, glancing away from his friend. In all reality, he wouldn't mind inviting you into the platonic marriage, even if he knew Tubbo felt more romantic feelings towards you. He didn't shut up about it. It was the fact that he was worried about what kind of mental manipulation Tubbo would do to you if you did agree to be in the marriage. Or even what Tommy would do to you or Tubbo!

"...Just?"

'Your relationship with Tommy is beyond screwed already... Imagine what would happen if both of his friends left him to be in a platonic relationship with me. Tubbo, all of us would be in severe danger.' He thought silently before taking a breath. "I-I don't have my enderwalking state under control... I'm already scared for Michael enough, and I don't want to hurt her as well... Give it some time and we'll see. Please.." He whispered, lying through his teeth. Ranboo knew you were damn good at protecting yourself and could knock his long and lanky ass to the dirt within seconds.

Tubbo's bright shiny eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment as his smile began to falter, "Ah... Yeah. I guess that makes sense. For their safety I suppose." His normal look returned and he gave him a smile, "Yeah, that does make a lot of sense. I'll ask again next month to see what happens."

"What... What about Tommy-"

"What about him?" He demanded sharply, his smile vanishing in mere seconds which caught Ranboo off guard yet again, "He doesn't need to be in their life. He would do more harm to them than good!"

Ranboo was left gaping, his mouth moving but not creating any sounds. He watched as Tubbo eyed him carefully before he got up, murmuring something about grabbing food then going to bed.

Once the goat hybrid was completely out of sight, Ranboo reached for his memory book and took the quill again.

'Protect (Y/n) from Tubbo and Tommy. Get them out of DreamSMP.'

Ranboo was scared for you.

He was stuck watching as these crazy two men fought over you, threatened you, manipulated you... It was worrying, to say the least.

Don't get him wrong. If he didn't have an adopted son, a platonic husband that he still cared about despite him being another Dream at this point, and a Syndicate to protect him from, he would've packed everything and ran, bringing you with him.

He was practically walking on eggshells around this man that he had once been extremely close to!

It practically sent shivers down his spine...

Eventually, it got to the point where Ranboo had gone to your house in the ungodly hours of the morning to talk to you.

This man LITERALLY crept into Tubbo's room AND Tommy's house to make sure they were both asleep before going to talk to you.

"Ran... Boo?" You asked, yawning softly as you leaned against the door, your hair all frizzy and messed up, "What's up? It'sssss... Like 5:30am. The sun is barely even up..."

"(Y/n)... Can we go inside? Please... There's something very wrong.." He murmured softly, his memory book tightly held in his grasp as he glanced around. Tommy could be waking up sometime soon, and he did not want to get caught talking to you. He would certainly be down a canon life before he could even say 'sorry'.

You watched the nervous man in front of you and nodded before stepping aside to let him in. Peaking outside, you looked around for what was causing him to panic but went back inside once you didn't see anything. "What's wrong?" Softening your tone, you gestured for him to sit at the table while you made coffee.

Once he had a fresh mug of coffee in front of him, Ranboo slowly began to gather his nerve and speak. He told you everything he could remember, and even opened his memory book to tell you about the things he didn't remember. Everything from the fight where Tommy and Tubbo's friendship completely went downhill a few months ago, to the threats Tubbo used against Tommy, the manipulation against you, the threats he had received by talking to you, and even Tubbo's violent mood switches when talking about you or Tommy.

The entire time, you just sat there wide-eyed as you listened to him ramble on about his fears and worries, and everything in between. He even mentioned wanting to actually divorce Tubbo because of how scared he was for you and his own life. "I don't... Not... Believe you... But this is- this is a little difficult to believe." You knew the enderman hybrid wouldn't lie about something so serious, and he definitely wouldn't be shaking like a leaf if it was a joke or a lie.

"Y-yeah, I expected that... But I really do care about your safety, honestly. You know I wouldn't joke about this kind of thing, especially about Tubbo." He murmured softly, looking at his crown laying on the table in front of him, "In all honesty, I came here this early because I was scared about Tommy trying to kill me if he saw me talking to you..."

"He wouldn't ki-"

The door slammed open dramatically and there was a cheerful shout of your name, "(Y/n)!!! Let's go mining for diamon-" Tommy walked into your kitchen, only to freeze mid-step and midfacial expression. His expression went from surprised to annoyance to a grim smile, "Hello Ranboo!" He gave him a smile that was more like baring his teeth as he twirled his axe nonchalantly.

He was going to hurt him...

[dracosathenaeum]

Words Hurt

Summary: You overheard Draco insulting you to Notts and Blaise. 

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Warnings: Swear words

Word count: 2,572

Sneaking into Draco’s dorm room had become a skill by now. Getting into the Slytherin common room was the easy part. Sneaking into his room without students noticing was slightly more difficult. The trick? Stealing one of Draco’s robes so you looked the part.

Having done this countless times, you expected to waltz into his room and find him on his bed or at his desk. What you didn’t expect to see-, well hear was loud laughter coming from his room. With his door ajar you peeked through to see him pacing the room, his back to you, Blaise and Nott sprawled across his bed. Draco hated having anyone but you in his room let alone his bed, what was going on?

“It’s such a pain, it’s like she’s always there. No matter where I go, she’s right there, she’s like a leech that won’t let go! God she’s so annoying, would it kill her to give me some space?!”

Taken aback, you hold a hand to your thundering heart as your fight or flight kicks in. You could storm in there, confront him there and then about it, but what if he broke up with you? It took months to get to where you are now, for him to open up completely, for you to break down his walls. Putting your ear to the door again, you listen, just in case, just in case it was a misunderstanding.

“Mate she doesn’t seem that bad, I mean she’s hot and bloody whipped for your sorry arse.” That comment from Zabini earned a high five and laugh from Notts.

“A leech Zabini, did you not hear? A leech. She always has to spend every waking hour with me. It’s a surprise she hasn’t barged in yet.” And with a sigh he slumps into his chair by the desk, hand massaging his temples.

You were known for being touchy, that’s just how you showed affection. But for your boyfriend talk about you like that? You needed time to think. You needed to do something for Draco to make him regret his words. It just required a little… careful planning. Draco was known for being a possessive bastard for a reason after all.

Walking into the Great hall the following morning (after having spent the previous evening ignoring Draco’s letters asking for you to meet him) you had a different air around you, a sense of purpose. You walked straight to the Y/H table, members of your own house gawking as you sat down next to your friends for the first time since you started dating Draco. You were still close with your house mates, you just preferred eating with Draco,  and besides, Slytherins were fun in their own sense.

“Uh, did you get lost or something? WAIT did you two fight? Because if you did, I so called it. Mia you owe me 5 galleons, pay up!”

“Wait wait wait, you guys bet on my relationship with Draco?” This was a very Slytherin type of thing to do, to say this was unexpected was an understatement.

“Every house has bet on you two Y/N/N, we love you obviously, but there’s galleons to be made.” You had definitely chosen your best friends right.

“I hate you.” You stick out your tongue just to emphasise the point. “Now, has Draco noticed yet, has he looked over?” Not turning your head around to peak was the extremely difficult, everything in your body was telling you to turn around.  

“Uh I don’t know what happened between you two but he does not look happy with you, if looks could kill…” Issy basically confirmed that your plan was working, you were hoping he’d be more confused or upset about you ignoring him, but anger would work too.

You finished your breakfast with Issy and Mia, the three of you leaving the Great hall together, all whilst successfully keeping the gaze, well glare of your boyfriend on you whilst you yourself didn’t spare him a single glance.

You weren’t even two steps out of the great hall when you feel a hand wrap around your wrist and pull you away from your friends. Yelping, you whip around to see a fuming blonde Slytherin leading you towards one of the court yards. You yanked your arm out of his grip as soon as you’d both stopped walking. “You know, you could’ve asked me nicely to follow you?”

“Why have you been avoiding me since last night? You didn’t respond to my letters and you ate at your own table. You haven’t even looked at me! Is everything okay? Has something happened?” You almost scoffed at the sincerity in his words. This was the same boy that had been saying how much he hated having you around all the time, surely the last 12 hours had been bliss for him.

You acted nonchalant, “Oh, I’ve just been busy. I am a student Draco. I have something called homework that needs to be done.”

Clearly, he was not very impressed by your response but neither of you really wanted to create a scene in front of the whole school. “Come on, I’ll walk you to class.” Draco was just reaching for you hand when you pulled away, as if his touch burned you. The look of hurt that shot across his eyes almost broke your resolve, almost. “It’s okay! Mia and Issy are waiting for me, besides, your lesson is across the castle. I’ll see you later okay!” And with that you turned and ran towards you lesson, leaving Draco staring after you dumbfounded.

It wasn’t until dinner that evening that you saw Draco again, this time, he was the one to surprise you. His bright blonde hair and green robes certainly stood out like a sore thumb in the sea of Y/H/C robes. And if that wasn’t the dead giveaway, the hushed whispers and glances from literally every other student in his direction was.

“Uh, Draco, not that I don’t love seeing you, but why are you at my table? We usually sit at Slytherin’s. You know my house tolerates you but they’re not… overly fond of you.” The last part you made sure only he heard.

“You’ve avoided me all day and all of last night. Can’t I be worried about my own girlfriend?” And as that signature cocky smirk of his stretched across his face, you knew you had lost.

That was until Cedric Diggory sat down next to you.

You were old family friends, everyone knew that, and he was always the one thing you could count on Draco being jealous of 100% of the time, no matter how small the interaction. Which is why you proceeded to throw yourself onto him and scream “I’ve missed you so much!! We have to go to The Three Broomsticks this weekend, I want to know how my favourite seeker is doing.” And you threw in a no-so-subtle wink to really rub salt into the wound.

Which… lead to you being thrown over a certain blonde’s shoulder and carried out of the great hall. You had two choices, let Draco carry you out and talk this through like any other normal couple, or… scream bloody murder and run away. You were a second too late to execute your plan however, he’d already walked the both of you straight into the room of requirement. “Uh Draco, what were you thinking of when summoned the room? Why is there only a bed and a fireplace?”

He sat down on the bed, pulling you to stand between his legs; his face was flushed a deep pink, it was adorable. “I just wanted a place to talk, I swear. Besides, I never heard you complain sex before.” God you wanted to punch the stupid smirk off his face.

“Oh my god Draco!” You really weren’t winning anymore; you were putty in his hands again.

“So princess, wanna tell me why you’ve been distant all day?” He had a hand under your chin now, the other holding your waist to keep you from moving. God you had missed his hands on you.

“I told you, I’ve just been busy. Besides we’ve spent so much time together recently, I’m sure you enjoyed the break.” You placed your hands on his shoulders, allowing yourself to lean down to drop a peck on his lips.

“Love what are you talking about?? When would I ever not want to spend time with you?”

By now you had your head resting on top of his, exhausted of having to keep up this façade around him. You missed his touch more than you had thought. This was pathetic, you couldn’t keep yourself together for even 24 hours. Was your resolve this weak?

“Tell me what’s wrong darling. Is it Potter? I swear to God- “

“No, it wasn’t Potter, sit your ass down Malfoy. Honestly you should just date him instead, you sure talk about him enough.” You weren’t sure whether to cry or laugh at this point.

“For the sake of our relationship I’m just going to pretend that you didn’t just suggest that I date Potter.” His hands reached up to cup your face, forcing you to make eye contact. “Now do you want to tell be why you can’t even look me in the eyes? Did I do something?”

You could cry at this point; how was this the same boy you saw compare you to a leech and insulted you to his friends? Was this just a game to him? Did he even love you or was this all just one big joke to him? You hadn’t realised how long you’d been lost in your own thoughts until Draco hooked his hands under your thighs and pulled you onto his lap, bringing your attention back his piercing grey eyes.

“I heard you. Last night. I came up to your room to see you, but you were in there with Blaise and Notts and I heard everything. I heard you talk shit about me to your them, do you hate being with me that much? Did you even love me at all? Or is this just one big game to you?” He had kept his eyes on you the entire time whilst yours had fallen to your lap, voice trembling. Your heart thundered in your chest as the heavy silence drew on, quickly becoming unbearable. You had hoped this entire time that it was just one big misunderstanding, that Draco would say you misheard. Yet the long-drawn silence was enough to make your heart drop to your stomach.

You set your arms on his shoulders, prepared to push yourself to stand up out of his hold, ready to sprint out the door to break down once in the comfort of your own dorm room. But just as you raised yourself from his lap, Draco’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist, keeping you in place on his lap. His right hand then reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before bringing his mouth up to meet yours. You savoured the feeling, of his soft lips on yours, of the minty taste of him on your tongue; knowing it may be the last one you two would ever share. That thought alone was enough for the tears to start flowing, your kiss turning salty as your tears flowed heavier to the point where sobs broke out from your lips, breaking the kiss. You buried you head in your hands, trying to control the sobs wracking your body as Draco cradled you to him, guiding your head to rest in the crook of his neck.

Your hands gripped the back of his shirt, sobbing heavily into the white cotton as he ran his hands over your back and squeezed you tight. It wasn’t until you had managed to calm your sobs into quiet hiccups that he spoke up, his voice quiet and calm compared to how your thundering heart and uneven breaths.

“I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to hear that- no, I shouldn’t have said it in the first place. I didn’t mean anything I said, I swear to you, I love you so much and I would never do anything to hurt you. You’ve changed me for the better, you know you have. After getting this hideous mark on my arm, you have been the only thing that has kept me sane. The only thing that has tethered me to this world. I will never forgive myself for saying those words, even if it was just to keep up my image for Blaise and Notts. I love you. I love you. I love you.” He kept repeating the same three words. He whispered sweet nothings into your ears, begging for you forgiveness, trying to prove his love to you.

You had stopped crying altogether at this point, you simply relaxed into his hold, listening to his words and his heartbeat. From the second he opened his mouth you had already forgiven him; you’d never heard him sound so… raw before. Sure, you’d had emotional talks before, but you’d never heard him sound so scared, scared that he’d lose you.

You stood up from his lap and watched as his face fell, the colour draining from his face as he prepared for you to leave him then and there. Instead you reached for his hands, pulling him to stand in front of you. “Promise you’ll never put me through this again?”

“I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never question my love for you ever again. I-I never wanted to hurt you; I would never purposely do so.”

“I believe you.” And with that you wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling him in for a breath-taking kiss.

He pulled back from you, breaking the kiss only to say, “What a couple me make huh?” This had you giggling into the kiss as he claimed your lips as quickly as he had let them go. Luckily you had the room of requirement to… spend time together in. (let’s just say the both of you were very thankful for the bed)

Things didn’t immediately go back to normal again after that, Draco was a very private individual, so it took some time for him to learn that he didn’t have to hold up a façade around people who truly cared about him, and for him to not insult those he looked for the sake of his image. But once he got past that, the two of you would become unbreakable, your trust in one another running deep.

Voldemort would come and try to corrupt Draco, but Draco would stay by your side, fighting for Hogwarts despite the allegiance to Voldemort permanently scarred onto his skin. He would come back for his 8th year and build friendships with people he never thought he would, even being able to speak to the Golden Trio without grimacing or insulting them.

And as you laid in your bed on a cold winter night some 15 years from here, your son in between the two of you having crawled into your bed after having a nightmare, you knew you were content to spend the rest of your life just like this. That you would go through everything again in a heartbeat to end up where you are now.

#A/N: I am so sorry for this ending, I didn't really like how it ended but changed it like 20 times and this was the one that didn't make me want to burn the entire thing so I hope you enjoyed it! 

Add yourself to my taglist!

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

[snifflesthemouse]

A Letter To Harry

Dear Harry,

My name is Nunya Business. I just want to take the time out of my life to clue you in on something I had to learn the hardest of ways. If my life lessons can save you the pain and suffering I went through, while indirectly saving the rest of us the pain and suffering from hearing about your pain and suffering, so be it. Let me begin.

You see, Harry, my mom died when I was 25. She was 47. She was bedridden the last ten years of her life. So that means she was permanently confined to a hospital bed for ten solid years, beginning when I was 15. That also means I watched her die slowly for ten years. By the time I was 16, I was trained in wound care management. I was also working 40+ hours a week at a fast-food place and attending school whenever I could. Even though I missed a lot of school, I still carried straight As. I always had great grades in school; I was getting scholarship recruitment letters by the time I was 15. I was brilliant. Still yet, I dropped out of high school by the second day of twelfth grade.

Unlike the traumatic lifestyle of servants and wealth, I was brought up extremely poor. The state paid for our school clothes through clothing vouchers. My dad worked a full-time job from the time he was sixteen until he retired AFTER my mom died. But my mom never held a job, drove a car, got a GED or photo ID, and missed out on a lot of living. So, he was the only source of income until I was old enough to help with the medical bills. He was 18 years older than she was. He only kept working after he reached retirement age because she needed insurance, but I digress. Back to the poor me part of my letter.

Here I was. Sixteen, early into my budding painkiller addiction, working full time, essentially homeschooling myself, taking care of my mother, AND still hoping I could make it out of there. SPOILERS: I DIDN’T MAKE IT OUT OF THERE. You know why? I played the same hand you play now. The poor me, poor me, pour me cards. I started taking my mom’s pain pills for my migraines. One didn’t really go full blown migraine on me one day, and I got high. By the middle of my tenth-grade year, I was having four Percocet tens and a chocolate milk for breakfast. For lunch I had a nap after fighting in and out of nodding off high for the first four periods. Eventually, that drug addiction got insane out of hand. I went from prescription pain killers to shooting heroin within 5 years. I went from never having a detention to having a felony credit card fraud charge and ten years over my head. I didn’t have old money to buy my excuses. I went to prison.

Unlike you, Harry, I wasn’t able to go to immaculate rehabs or have my family bail me out of trouble. I wasn’t able to do hard drugs and become a binger alcoholic behind the scenes, then just “quit” without issue. Something tells me neither were you. I’ve met a ton of addicts and alcoholics. Both say the same. After a month of the same nonsense, the addiction was rooted. So please explain to me how you managed to escape the severities associated with heavy drug use and drinking without withdrawing or getting hooked. Seriously, because you’d be the first person impervious to addiction. Most all of us have to fight the fight of our lives to get and stay clean. I know, I’ve managed almost 6 years now. What about you?

No, like us regular folk, I had to go about sobriety the long, hard route. But of course, it cost waaayy more than you’d ever understand.

Your partying days in Nazi uniforms didn’t cost a thing compared to how much they can cost regular people. By 17, I was already shacked up with a psychopath ten years my senior who literally ended up killing my childhood best friend’s fiancé. Not even exaggerating. My ex killed my ex-best friend’s fiancé in the living room of the house I grew up in, in front of my mom and dad. A month before my mom died, actually. My ex-boyfriend did some major fuck shit to me, and I have a history of dating abusers, but I won’t get into that. Just know 50 Shades isn’t sexy to me and hearing old country music instantly makes my face hurt from getting full beer cans chucked at me… Oh and ya know what, Harry? Turns out if I kept dating psychopaths who hit me… the real problem wasn’t who I was dating. It was ME. But again I digress. Sorry Harry.

I lost my friend who was murdered by my ex at my parents’ home a month before my mother died and two months before I was sent to prison. I struggled with addiction from the time I was 16 until my last relapse 3 July 2015. I dropped out of high school because of my drug addiction, then dropped out of college after getting my GED and a scholarship. 

My mother first introduced me to pain pills. She didn’t realize what she was doing and all, but she just thought she was helping her daughter get through a migraine. I got hooked. I robbed everyone I ever loved and didn’t give two shits about the people I hurt. To this day, I still struggle with caring about people. But again, I digress.

My point is this, Harry. I’ve personally been through fifty times more shit than you have. I watched my mother die slowly over ten years. I watched her gasp for air and cry in the night for God to just take her out of this world so she’d not be in pain anymore. I have lost most everyone I hold near and dear to me simply because I failed to show any self respect, accountability, or acceptance. I didn’t have parents cleaning up my messes with money. I didn’t have castles and privileges to boot when the newspapers ran the stories where I was sentenced to prison. No. I had to face the music and learn the world could fucking care less about how I feel.

Now is time you learn this lesson, too. The world is not fair. What you feel is not important. All that matters is what you do with how you feel. Nobody, and I mean absofuckinglutely NOBODY gives two shits about how you feel; the only reason people watch is because they are nosey. The only reason Oprah makes shows with you is to exploit your story for financial gain, like some type of trauma porn. Your wife isn’t looking out for you if she’s letting you incriminate yourself like that on TV and all, either. I know what you are going through, as I have dated one of those. It didn’t end well for me, and it will not end well for you.

Final note, Harry. Your family in the UK have loved and protected you for your entire life. Everyone accommodated you in your naked billiards in Los Angeles and Calgary. They did more than you could understand. Before it’s too late, and they finally get tired of your repeated bullshit, and trust me Harry, they will… make up with them. If that means ditching the wife, ditch her. Because she’s going to ditch you soon enough.

Trauma isn’t a renewable resource, my love. People are tired of your greatest hits on repeat. Better start the plans to turn that wife into the second act soon or the checks will start bouncing faster than those moon bumps. Oh and another thing, man the fuck up! Everyone has problems. You are not special. You’re not even a spare anymore. You’ve been replaced on all that. So why the hell do you still hold onto your childhood the way you do? Or those titles like you do? Oh you must be a masochist. You must like it.

Sincerely,

Nunya Business

[eternalsimp]

Cursed Fears

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 3096

Warnings: aged up Megumi, use of female pronouns, swearing, mentions of violence, spoilers for episodes 5 and 6, mention of character death, slight sexual themes toward the end, angst, minors dni.

The sound of the rain steadily increasing was the only sound in your apartment as you waited patiently for your boyfriend. Your laptop displayed that it was midnight as you lazily scribbled statistics solutions onto the notes app of your tablet. Once you felt you reached a stopping point you got up to find a long sleeve to stave off the cold that seeped into the apartment from the storm. Striding over to your closet to pull out something to remind you of him. As you grabbed his signature grey shirt, you were immediately hit with the soft scent of cedar-wood. It was thin and soft from years of use. It hung loosely and brought you a sort of comfort as you counted down the minutes ‘til he got home. You weren’t a sorcerer, but you were well aware of the dangers that your friends went out and faced, and the panic in the back of your mind grew louder as the hours passed since Megumi had walked out of the door.

You stifled a yawn as you finally heard the lock to your front door click open and shut. You closed your eyes and stretched your back to loosen the knots that formed from doing your homework on the living room floor. As you made your way to the door to greet your boyfriend, he was frantically kicking his shoes off and stripping himself of his jacket.

“Hey love, how was it?” you said softly while reaching for his rain-soaked torso. He flinched away from your touch, eyes wide and afraid. His blue eyes scan your confused face before he blinks slowly and takes a shuddering breath.

“Sorry, I didn’t expect you to still be up.” He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead before retreating to the bathroom. The smell of blood, dirt, and god knows what else isn’t lost on you as he tries to pass you quickly. You bend to pick his jacket off of the floor where he had tossed it in his haste, and walk to your shared bedroom to put it in the laundry basket. You open the drawers to his side of the dresser to pull out his favorite sweats and a plain white tee-shirt, before gently placing them on the bathroom counter where he is aggressively scrubbing his face. 

“You’re gonna get sick if you stay in those wet clothes much longer,” you say oh so matter of factly before pushing up on your toes to kiss the corner of his jaw. Your movements take him slightly off guard, which you use to your advantage to nudge him to a sitting position on the bench next to the shower. You run a washcloth under the warm water of the sink, move to stand between his legs, and gently brush the cloth against his temple. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch. You both sit in silence as you wipe the remnants of sweat and blood off of his face and neck. You notice the way he's holding your waist, hands so light his touch is barely there. Like he’s afraid you'll break if he makes a wrong move. After you finish wiping his face and neck, you tug at the hem of his soaked shirt and he complies with your wordless command to take it off. You step back out of the bathroom to toss it into the basket with his Jujustu Tech jacket.

When you walk back in, his head is leaning against the cool wall, letting you fully take stock of the bruises and cuts adorning the top half of his body. The worst of it looks like a slight split at the corner of his bottom lip and a shallow cut above one of his brows. You stride over to him and run your fingers through his black hair. “Baby,” you crooned softly. He gave a soft hum in acknowledgment as you nuzzled your nose into the top of his head. “I love you but you smell like a sewer, can you please shower before you fall asleep?” He sticks his tongue out playfully as you back away from him so he can stand up and move towards the shower. 

Though his normal stoic behavior wouldn’t concern you, you still can’t shake the terrified look on his face when he first entered the apartment. How tense he’s holding himself and the way that he’s obviously trying not to worry you. His eyes linger on your face like he’s trying to memorize every aspect of it before he drops his gaze and shakes whatever thought he had out of his head.

You settle back on the living room floor between the coffee table and the couch and turn your attention back to your college notes. You only have time to pick your stylus back up before your phone starts vibrating in your pocket. You look down and see Itadori’s name scrawled across the screen along with a picture of him smiling next to your grouchy-looking boyfriend.

“Hey Yuuji, what’s up?”

“Hey y/n, I know it's late but I just wanted to make sure Fushiguro got back okay.”

“Yeah, he’s in the shower. Do you want me to have him call you when he’s out?”

“No… I just… did he seem okay when he got back?”

You chewed on the corner of your mouth for a second, “I mean, he seemed kinda unsettled but that’s not unusual for when he comes back from your guys' missions.”

“Yeah… yeah you’re right. I don’t know, he just seemed off after everything. Never mind.”

You hear the water shut off in the other room and quirk a brow. “Yuuji you better spit it out or else I’m gonna come over there and start cutting your fingers off! What are you not telling me?”

“On that note, I gotta go. Just talk to him, okay?”

“Wait Yuuji-” the line goes dead before you can press him with more questions. You stuff your phone back into your pocket and tap your stylus on your tablet for a couple of minutes. Just talk to him. Gore and violence are nothing new to Megumi, and he isn’t easily fazed, so what would shake him so bad that even Yuuji is worried?

You’re pulled from your thoughts both literally and figuratively when you feel a pair of muscular arms lift you onto the couch behind you. You are once again settled between your boyfriend's legs as you’re pressed against his strong chest. You yelp and try to wiggle out of his grasp but his years of training with the other Jujustu Sorcerers, even after graduating, leave him with an iron grip on your hips. 

“Hang on let me grab my notes,” you protest. He presses his face into your neck and whines. After a few moments of struggling against him, you manage to snatch your tablet and pen off the ground and open it to your last question. You adjust yourself so your shoulder is against his chest and you can lazily drape your legs over his thigh. He rests his cheek against the crown of your head and readjusts his arms around you so he can still hold you tightly while not blocking your view of your classwork. You scribble notes for a few more minutes before deciding that him falling asleep in this position will mean him complaining of a sore neck in the morning, what with the awkward way it's twisted to lean against you. You could feel his body getting heavier against your own. You remembered what Yuuji had told you, and in an effort to keep him awake, you decided to ask what had been nagging you since he got back home. 

“Are you okay?” All you get in response is another hum from your barely awake boyfriend. You shift again and reach up to run your fingers through his still-damp hair, “‘Gumi, baby, you shouldn't fall asleep here. Let’s go to bed.” He chuckles lightly at the nickname you gave him way back when you first started dating, and how you save it for private moments like this. 

“I just wanna hold you for a bit longer, I promise we’ll get up soon.” Megumi finally murmurs. You don’t miss the way his jaw clenches as you try to fix your gaze upon him. You sigh and set your tablet down before turning to straddle Megumi’s lap and force him to look at you. 

“What’s wrong, you’re more distant than usual?” You rest your hands on either side of his face and turn him to look at you. He avoids eye contact and suddenly you’re looking at the guarded 16-year-old boy who refused to open up to anyone when you first met. You lean to rest your forehead against his as he focuses his gaze somewhere between your jaw and the base of your throat. “Please talk to me? What happened out there?”

Megumi struggles internally on how much to tell you. You mindlessly stroke his cheeks with your thumbs and he finds himself settling his hands back on your waist again, with the same feather-light touch that you would use with glass. Finally, you get his answer in the form of a whisper.

“I’m scared I’m gonna lose you…”

You immediately pull your head back to look at him straight on only to be met with a faraway gaze. You furrow your brows together and squeeze his face just enough to get his attention. His eyes snap to yours and you can see the tears starting to prick at the corners. “I’m not going anywhere ‘Gumi.” You smile at him before pulling him closer to you and he buries his face into your neck.

“Fuck, that’s not what I meant. I’m scared I’m putting you in danger,” his voice is starting to waver, “You didn’t ask for this, any of this. I’m gone all the time, always on missions constantly putting both our lives in danger. I can’t even imagine what would happen if one of the special grades were to find out about you. It’s bad enough Sukuna knows you.” His voice cracked at the end of his sentence and you feel his chest shudder.

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to him. You nudge his face away from your shoulder and see the tears he’s been holding back finally fall. The only other time you can remember him crying like this was when he thought Yuji died. You go back to stroking his face and shushing him but it's too late, the dam is broken and he can no longer hold back the sobs. 

“What if I can’t protect you?” He continues to choke out his fears while you keep stroking his face lovingly and whispering soft reassurances to him that everything is going to be okay and you’re both safe. You let him cry into your chest until his strangled sobs slowly turn into soft sniffles.

“Feeling any better baby?” You gently push at his shoulders and lean him back again so you can look at him. He nods hesitantly and lets you wipe any remaining tears from under his now puffy eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I’m just tired and I guess everything kinda boiled over all at once,” he sighs. You lean down to press a soft kiss to his lips and he instantly melts into it.

“Don’t be sorry Megumi, you can talk to me about anything.” You press another kiss to his forehead and continue rubbing small circles into his jaw to loosen the tension there. After a few moments of holding each other silently, you pipe your voice up again. “Yuji called, he seemed worried. Did something happen tonight?”

You felt Megumi go stiff underneath you before quickly relaxing into your touch again. “Itadori started to lose control and Sukuna was just being a dick, per usual.” You inhale sharply and try to remove yourself from his grasp, you are gonna kill those two one of these days. As if he could read your mind Megumi quickly grabbed your wrists effectively pinning you against his chest once again. “Okay no, stop it. Nothing happened, he was just being mouthy and trying to wind me up. Obviously, it worked...”

“I don’t give a shit what Sukuna says and neither should you. If by some miracle he is able to get out of their pact, Gojo and Yuji would never let anything happen, and neither would you.” You press your forehead against his again since he still has a firm grip on your wrists to keep you from moving away from him. “I don’t care what you think, the safest place for me is right here with you. Sukuna is just bitter that he’s in a cage so he’s decided to make it everyone else's problem.” Megumi chuckles lightly again before releasing your hands and replacing his arms around your waist. 

“We should go to bed, you have class in the morning.” He sighs. You crane your neck to see it’s well past 2 am, you stretch again to release the last couple of cracks in your spine and your boyfriend takes the opportunity to nip at your collarbones and make you squirm against him. 

“If you stop doing that I’ll stay home with you instead, deal?” He jerks his face away from your chest and gives you the biggest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen. 

“Are you sure? You have exams this week right?” 

“There’s no point in going to a lecture if I’m just gonna fall asleep. I’ll study for my exams tomorrow after I wake up, but I’m planning on sleeping in tomorrow. Both of us need it.” He hums in agreement before trying to lift himself off the couch with you still in his arms. You gasp in surprise as you feel him wobble and stumble back into the couch cushions, tucking you into his neck with a hand to the back of your head to keep your faces from colliding. 

You look at each other and let out a chorus of laughter. You shake your head before pinching his nose gently. “For someone so smart, you are so fucking dumb sometimes.” He scrunches up his face and swats your hand away as you peel yourself out of his arms and off his lap.

“You know, I’ve done it before and I was confident I could do it again. Also, I gotta keep my pretty girl on her toes.” This time it was your turn to swat his hand away as he grabbed at your thighs and rear. You rolled your eyes comically at him and moved towards the bedroom. He jumps up, throws you over his shoulder, before unceremoniously plopping you on the bed with a speed you’ve only ever seen him possess. He hovers over you as he presses his mouth against you in a rushed, teeth-clashing kiss. You push at his shoulder so he can dramatically flop on his back and open his arms expectantly. 

“Give me a sec to change, I’ll be right back.” He whines like a child when you grab your pajama shorts and a tank top from the top of the dresser and stride into the bathroom. You’ve never known anyone to be as handsy as Megumi. He hates PDA and would never in a million years let strangers see through his cold, tough exterior. In the comfort of your home though, you quickly learned that he can never keep his hands to himself and they tend to wander on their own. He always wants to be touching you when you’re home together and he’ll whine and pout if he can’t. You can never find it in your heart to turn down his affection, especially on nights like this when he is feeling vulnerable and needs reassurance. Those nights are few and far between but you indulge your boyfriend in anything he needs whenever his facade starts to crack and you get glimpses of the version of him that he keeps carefully tucked away. 

You pull your jeans and his sweater off and quickly throw your pajamas on. You toss your clothes into the basket from the door and find your boyfriend sprawled on your side of the bed scrolling through his phone. You poke the middle of his back and yank the blanket, covering him from the waist down, to what's supposed to be his side of the bed. His jaw drops in mock offense before he's pulling your front flush against his chest once again. 

His lips latch onto yours again as he's tangling his legs with yours and threading his hands through your hair. You bring your hands under his shirt to stroke your fingertips lightly against his sides as his kisses grow needier and more urgent. One of his hands leaves your hair to grip your hips as he rolls his own into you desperately. You bring one hand to press against his chest lightly and move away from him for air. 

“Baby please…” he looks like he's on the verge of begging. His heart pounds heavily under your fingers on his chest. You press a quick kiss to the tip of his nose.

“‘Gumi, you’re exhausted and very emotional right now, just go to sleep.” His bottom lip sticks out in a cute pout and you lift your hand to run your thumb over his protruding bottom lip. “I promise I will be here in the morning and we have all day tomorrow to hang out and do anything you want.” 

His brows quirk up and his mouth pulls into a smirk. “Anything?” He drops his head to try and catch your lips again but you evade him.

“Anything, if you go to sleep right now and wait ‘til morning.” He scrunches his nose up and huffs pathetically before moving to tuck one arm under your head and wrap the other around your waist protectively. You nuzzle your face into his chest to breathe in the usual smell of cedar-wood and a lingering scent of rain. One of your hands is tucked under his jaw while the other slips back beneath his shirt to keep tracing patterns up and down his sides. He shivers at the featherlight touch of your fingertips but melts into the hand you have on his face.

You can feel his breath growing more rhythmic and you glance up to see his eyes fluttering shut. You press one last kiss to his jaw before murmuring a quiet “I love you” into his chest. He squeezes the arm that's around your waist to pull you impossibly closer to him before you drift to sleep.

“I love you too baby. I promise I’ll always protect you.”

[justkending]

The Number One Rule. Chapter 25.

Summary: Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor's degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left, but don’t worry the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other's buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Rogers (Steve’s little sister)

Word Count: 2300+

A/N: Ok this one is really cute and comedic. I thought seeing these two would be adorable as well as a great step into my next chapter! In saying that, the next one is either going to be the last or second to last! Thank you all once again for the undying support and love with this series:)

Chapter Twenty-Five:

“Thank you guys so much for babysitting tonight,” Wanda gushed as she ran around grabbing things last minute. “Vis and I have had very few moments to actually go out. Pietro was a huge help while he was staying here, but had to go back to training. Then mom and dad had some business back in Sokovia, so getting a second to breathe after 2 weeks of never leaving the house with these чудовище, monsters, has been near to impossible.”

“Wanda, really no worries at all. I promised I’d help you guys out, and,” Y/N paused as little Tommy squealed in joy in her arms. “That’s a promise I am glad to keep.”

“You say that now, but wait until their moods change. We had them crying for a total of 5 hours straight yesterday. Changing the diapers, bottles, pacifiers, non-stop rocking, nothing worked,” she huffed, grabbing a light jacket for the spring air outside. 

“Darling, I believe we are supposed to be convincing them to stay, not scaring them away,” Vis said, coming out of the room with a soft smile. 

“Right, right,” Wanda chuckled bashfully. “They’re a breeze,” she tried to quickly offset. 

“A little late on that cover Wands,” Bucky chuckled, standing with Billy in his arms as he rocked him back and forth. 

“It’s fine, you guys,” Y/N laughed looking up at Bucky as he started making faces at the little guy in his hands. “I babysat all through highschool, and nannied overseas to make some money on the side. This isn’t anything out of the ordinary for me,” Y/N reassured. “Plus, Bucky seems to be doing great by the looks of it.”

“I’ve been holding him for 5 minutes,” Bucky said, never breaking his eyes from the baby. As if if he were, it would combust if he didn’t pay attention and it would be on him. 

“I’ll make sure we’re fine,” Y/N laughed. “Now you two get out of here before I kick you out and lock the doors so you’re forced to enjoy your evening.”

“Ok, ok!” Wanda put her hands up in defense. She moved, grabbing her purse and Vision grabbed the keys. “Bedtime is at 6:30, if you can get them down. If not, the sound machine really helps. A bottle before bed luckily is the one saving grace for us, as it has yet to fail but once in getting them to knock out. Oh, and-”

“Wanda, dear. I think they have it under control,” Vis chuckled, putting his arm on her shoulder. “We really shall go before they give our reservation to someone else.”

“Ok,” she sighed, going back to the boys. “Mommy loves you two. Be good and don’t scare these two off. They may be our only hope in having nights out again.” She gave each of the boys a kiss on the forehead getting a coo from each of them in Y/N and Bucky’s arms. 

“Don’t hesitate to call if anything happens. Emergency numbers are on the fridge, including doctors and neighbors. But knowing this one,” Vis pointed to the redhead who was double checking everything around her to make sure they were set. “Our phones will be on loud and we will be picking up within 2 seconds of you calling.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Y/N laughed before shooing them out of their own house. Eventually succeeding and joining Bucky back in the living room where he hadn’t halted his rocking with Billy still happy in his arms. 

“Why do babies go to bed so early? I never understood that,” he noted, slowly moving to sit on the couch as delicately as possible. 

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked with a laugh, repositioning Tommy to one arm and moving toys on the counter around while also moving the bouncy seat over to her spot on the couch with the other arm. 

“How do you do that?” Bucky asked, impressed with how easy she made holding and working around a baby look.

“Do what?” she hummed, finally sitting by him and placing Tommy in the rocking seat. 

“You just grabbed a heavy form of equipment and a 2 month old baby while also reorganizing a table full of toys,” Bucky nodded his head. His arms around his twin tight to make sure no harm could come to him. 

“It’s called having done this more times than I could count,” Y/N laughed. “And as for going to bed early, babies literally only sleep, poop, eat, and cry. They tend to go to sleep early on their own so it’s just working around their sleep schedule on finding a bedtime.” 

“Ok, but if all these parents complain about waking up early with their kids, why don’t they put them to bed later?” Bucky asked. 

“I don’t really know. I’m sure there’s some science and routine behind it, but I’ve never really had a kid of mine own, so I couldn’t tell you,” she joked as she watched Tommy gurgle with his spit in the chair. She grabbed a blanket and wiped his lips, getting a giggle out of the little boy. 

“Do you want kids of your own?” Bucky asked a little more timidly. 

She turned over to him and smiled. “I do. I would love some little monsters of my own.”

He couldn’t help the lovestruck look on his face as he watched her go back to Tommy as he babbled to her. 

Don’t get him wrong. He had thought about it before in the past, but hearing her confirmation meant something else. Seeing little mini-Y/N’s running around made his heart warm. I mean, he had witnessed a little Y/N himself growing up and though she was a handful, she was a cute little stinker. Then you add in the fact he could be part of that equation… Well, it made his heart practically melt inside. 

“What about you?” Y/N asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

“With my special someone? Yeah, no second thoughts about it,” he grinned at her as she started making faces at the baby. He laughed with Tommy at her before she looked back and relaxed into his side. She looked over and down at Billy who was falling in and out of sleep himself. 

“You’re pretty good at this you know,” she remarked. 

“I haven’t moved besides sitting down. I don’t think you can mess anything up doing that,” he laughed. 

“Oh, trust me. You can. You’d be surprised just how picky babies are about every little detail and movement,” she laughed, placing a kiss to his cheek.

“We only have really an hour of them being awake before we put them to sleep and relax until Wanda and Vis come home,” Bucky took a breath, leaning his head on top of hers that was on his shoulder. 

“Please tell me you’re not that naive with babies. You do realize just because we put them to sleep doesn't mean they’ll stay like that,” she giggled. 

“I know, I know,” he laughed with her. “But I’m hoping for the best.”

_________

Well, the best did not happen. It took less than 45 minutes after that comment before the boys decided to do an Act 2 of their crying scene that Wanda described earlier.

“I don’t know what to do,” Bucky groaned, bouncing in a harsh manner with his knees as Tommy cried in his arms. Y/N was across the room in the kitchen making bottles with Billy crying as well, but not near as loud, in her arms. 

“No one ever does. We just have to pull out all the tricks and one of them works!” she yelled from the other room. Quickly she ran in with the bottles, one already propped under her chin feeding Billy who was now content, and the other she was handing off to Bucky who was scared to adjust to one hand with a baby in his arms. 

When he did give Tommy the bottle though, the baby kept moving his face away from the nipple. 

“I don't think that’s the trick for this one,” Bucky said in defeat. 

“Here let me see,” Y/N said, trying to feed it to himself. 

“Wait,” Bucky said, pausing his bouncing. “Do you smell that?” 

“What-Oh…” Y/N noticed. The two scrunch their nose in sync. “It’s diaper duty time.”

“I’ve never been on diaper duty…” Bucky replied softly, fear clear in his eyes. 

“You’re about to learn today then,” she said with a wicked smirk. “Here, you take Billy and I’ll take Tommy. I’ll show you how to do it, and then next one is on you.”

“There’s not way I can opt out of it?” Bucky tried to joke as he followed behind her with a face of disgust from the smell. 

“It’s funny you think that’s an option,” Y/N remarked before turning a corner. 

Once in the boys room and at the changing table, she set a crying Tommy down and started unbuttoning his onesie and noticed they had a bigger issue than they had hoped.

“Oh God,” she gagged some. Bucky hadn’t looked at the damage since he was just coming in the room with a newly adjusted baby in his arms. 

“What? Wha- Oh God,” he repeated. “Ho-What-How do you fix that?” he pointed at the now laughing baby on the changing table. 

“Well, what we have here Bucky is a classic case of a blow out.”

“A blowout?”

“A blowout.”

“What’s the solution?” Bucky questioned, pinching his nose with the same hand that was propping the bottle into the other twin’s mouth. 

“Well, I would tell you but instead, we’re going to have to use a hands on form of assessment,” Y/N laughed, motioning him over, which he hesitantly did. “Little stinker here thinks this is funny, don’t you?” Tommy laughed in response. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Ok, you stand here to make sure he doesn’t move around in it much more, and give me Billy.”

“I think I prefer the clean baby,” Bucky hesitated. 

“Bucky, I’m putting Tommy down so we can clean Billy up together. It’s easier with the method I’m using,” she chuckled, switching positions with Bucky. 

“Oh God, it’s everywhere. How is it everywhere?” Bucky covered his nose as he held Billy from rolling in his own mess. 

“Like I said, a classic blowout.” Y/N put Tommy in his crib who was luckily already getting sleepy for the night and went down easily while they took care of the other twin. “Ok, pick him up and let’s go to the bathroom.”

“Bathroom?” Bucky asked. 

“Yes, bathroom. This is going to be a heavy duty diaper duty,” she laughed. “Now grab him big macho man. Don’t tell me you’re scared of a little bit of poop.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Bucky stuck his tongue out at her. 

She laughed before heading off to the bathroom herself. 

“Ok, but really. Not that I can’t handle it, but I’d rather not get crap on me little guy. Try not to wiggle,” Bucky took a deep breath before going in. 

So heavy duty clean up involves taking the shower head off of the wall and just completely hosing down the baby like a dirty dish plate apparently. And in the process, with him being a little boy, there was also a round of pee coming out like a jet stream. 

Lucky for the two, they didn’t get in the line of fire, but that doesn’t mean the surprise didn’t end up with them getting almost as wet as little Billy.  After that, he was a happy baby and took a bottle with ease. 

The two boys ended up settling completely asleep right at 6:45. Just over 15 minutes of their normal bedtime. 

So, a little wet, very exhausted with just an hour of fun twin festivities, and with the baby monitors on and showing a live feed, Bucky and Y/N collapsed on the couch.

“I bet you the spy’s who do fight scenes for hours on end in movies, can’t do that,” Bucky groaned. Y/N laughed as she fell into his lap. 

“I don’t think they could,” Y/N agreed. 

“How the hell do Vis and Wanda do that all hours of the day?” he sighed deeply, moving his hands to her hair to wipe it off of her face in reflex. 

“It’s not always like that, but I do agree. That is some exhausting stuff.”

“Still want monsters of your own?” Bucky teased. 

She paused before answering and looking up at Bucky. He noticed the silence and looked down at her. 

“When it’s your own kiddos, it’s a whole different kind of mess. One that you’re a lot more willing to endure.”

He smiled at her sweet notion and ran a thumb down her cheek. 

“I guess you’re right about that,” he grinned. 

“Although,” she huffed, getting comfortable as she laid her head in his lap. “I can gladly wait a few more years before I add that kind of chaos to my life.”

“I think I can concur with that,” Bucky chuckled, slumping back in his stance. “Hey when you’re ready to move again, want to put on a movie?”

“Always.”

They sat like that taking a second to breathe in the calm. Before Bucky broke it. 

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah, B?”

“I love you, you know that right?”

She sat up some and actually sat in his lap now. She leaned her forehead on his and smiled as they both closed their eyes at the intimate gesture. Their intimate gesture. 

“I know Bumble Bee. I love you too.”

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