#and people WILL talk about and reference tiktok things outside of tiktok. a. lot.

[allthegothihopgirls]

i hate tiktok i hate short-form video content i hate tiktok 'influencers' i hate herd mentality i hate it oh my god

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

This is complaining day because I realized there's more than one thing that got on my nerves lately and it's not just about the treatment of a kpop idol's mother. Let's begin.

Please, stop refering to Jungkook's mother as mama Jeon. I know the tendency is to ignore so many of the cultural differences that exist, but in SK, people don't change their surname after marriage. It just sounds idiotic and westernized in a ridiculous way.

So, Jungkook's mother loves all BTS members. She LOVES them all. How does army know that? How? I'm genuinely curious and genuinely asking. Because they say it as a certainty. Or, forgive me if my memory is faulty as well, but the only instance that we as outsiders were privy to in which we heard that woman speak for the first time, it was in early 2021 on another phonecall with Jungkook when she said I love you to Jimin.

Of course, the same ot7 narrative came as a buldozer at that time too. Damn, does that mean Jimin = BTS? Sometimes yes, but only when Army wants to diminish Jimin's importance and doesn't allow him to stand out individually too much. Musically or otherwise. But back to this Big Love that Jungkook's mom is supposedly feeling for everyone and which has been invoked once again when that woman mentioned Jimin twice while talking to Jungkook on the phone. Cause she already knew they were in Jeju. I bet she didn't have to find out randomly from a schedule group chat.

So what happens? An assumption is turned into certainty because of small people being extremely insecure. Because they see that one person is once again given more importance on a personal level and we can't have that. No sir! So in a panic, they tweet, they post on tumblr, tiktok, youtube the old age, boring af, sounding like a broken record sentence: "Mama Jeon loves all seven". Fuck me gently with a chainsaw cause that sounds a lot better than the feeling of throwing up I get whenever I read such things.

No, she doesn't love all of them. That is not a fact. It could be true and it's not impossible. But it is not a fact based on the knowledge we have at the moment.

Also, it shows once again that an entire fandom is actively creating a reality of their own which is not even like some sort of simulacrum of the reality they must live through. In Army world, the mother of one member of a k-pop group must love all the members of such group. It doesn't matter than irl, our mothers a lot of the times don't even like all our friends, besties or partners. We might have the most incredible connections and it would mean nothing to our mothers.

In that same vein, another narrative that makes me want to pull my eyes out is the "awww, their bond is to die for, they are (like) siblings after all". Do any of them never had any siblings? Never saw other people and their relationship with their siblings? Or with their family?

I also had to read (which was followed by me blocking it immediately) how Jimin and Jungkook's relationship is the sum of the other relationships they have with other BTS members. I mean, why would I have any sort of expectations from any of these people when they are completely incapable of looking at JM and JK as actual people. As persons with individual minds and an intellect of their own. Let alone the fact that their world does not stop with the presence of 5 other men. In what realistic scenario does this translate in real life? That's not how it works. Yes, we are social creatures and a product of our surroundings, but it is not in the way in which these stans believe it to be. They think that living in a dorm for a few years and working together with other people, it means that those experiences are the only ones that actually shape the personality of a person. They are real people, not fictional characters. I've never heard such ridiculous theories in my entire life, to be used as talking points about someone's behavior or relationship with another person.

Maybe the need to create this elaborate fantasy comes from the lack of love in their life, which then gets projected into this Disney, kumbaya, capitalist heaven narrative in which everyone is a big family and they love each other so much and equally and all the parents of all the children love every single member and thus, harmony is created. Love is always platonic and ever present. The complexity of human relationships must not exist.

[whywoulditho]

"the fandom ruined mha" is one of those vastly popular opinions that i've never quite understood. because they honestly...weren't as bad as people made it seem??? i swear people with zero fandom experience will see a thirteen year old in cheap cosplay having fun and say shit like "ew i hate this fandom you're ruining it" like maybe leave the goddamn kid alone??

mha has a very large fan community, and what makes it a little different than most other anime fandoms is that mha was specifically targeted for a global audience. they did their best to avoid any quirks and cliche tropes of anime that would go over non-japanese' heads. the art style is pretty cartoonish and it's got lots of references to western comics. there's a whole ass movie set in the US. what i'm trying to say is that a large, international fandom was always what they were going for, and it was well received. it was one of those shows that you'd kind of had to watch if you wanted to be in anime spaces back in like 2016-2018. mind you this is when even aot wasn't that popular. and when something is so popular, there's gonna be lot of weird people in the fandom. BECAUSE most of them will be people who have never been in fandom spaces before. the "cringy mha fans" that were the butt of every joke in anime discord were more of than not minors having just been introduced to anime or fandom culture as a whole. there were lots of weird stuff, i admit. but was it ever really that serious? like why couldn't yall just leave those people alone??

another thing people just couldn't stop talking about was how there were way too many ships in the fandom but 1) why is that a bad thing? and 2) of course there were gonna be a lot of ships in a show that introduced TWO WHOLE CLASSROOMS OF TEENAGERS AS THE MAIN CAST who interacted all the time. not to mention all the students from other hero schools, upperclassmen, pro heroes & teachers. there are like a million characters in this show and the more characters the more potential ships -it's fucking common sense. i think what really happened there was that people outside of the fandom looked at the fanmade content and thought the fandom must have been obsessed with ships. when in reality i think the fans were really chill about it. most of them were multishippers, they didn’t mind the other pairings. i understand that for an outsider's eye all the ships and disclose must've looked chaotic but in fandom spaces people know how to filter the content they engage with so there really arent any serious "ship wars" going on anywhere except for maybe instagram comments.

i am not saying all the ships were unproblematic, there were some pretty weird ships going on too, but honestly i thought half of them were jokes? or at least crackships? and if you compared the number of fics those kind of pairings have on ao3 to the more family friendly ones you'd see that there really weren't an actual fanbase for any of those weird ass pairings.

i think the core of mha fandom has never been as chaotic as others thought it was. mha fans were interested in the story, the fights & the character development while casually enjoying ships as well. it wasn't that serious until yall started bullying a bunch of kids online. with the rise of tiktok and the boredom the pandemic caused there were a huge amount of amateur content. i'm not saying i've never seen a mha fan being genuinely cringe. i just think the mature response to those posts would have been leaving the poor kids alone.

yesterday i've seen a youtube video about how awful mha fans are and this guy just showed a clip of a bunch of cosplayers outside of what was probably an anime convention dancing to gangnam style and he was going on and on about how annoying they are. and it made me so angry because where the fuck did these anime fan bourgeoisie snobs come from telling people they can't have fun at FUCKING ANIME CONVENTIONS??? i dont know if you've ever been to one but an anime con is basically the only place that's supposed to be safe to do cringe shit like that. everyone goes to those things in cosplay, some better than others. but last i checked everyone was pretty nice to each other, complimenting each other's costumes, asking to take photos. the cosplays don't have to be good, they don't even have to be complete. a convention is the one place you can show up in a wig you bought off ebay and a costume you finished making the night before. i dont know what yall are on but people go to those events to have fun. not to be filmed and made fun of. and from my personal experience having been in fandom spaces since middle school, someone who dances to gangnam style in a cheap todoroki cosplay is an infinitely nicer person than the stuck-up loser who makes a video complaining about it

[bubblesxo]

OKAY GUYS

so. you know how a lot of people hc about the gotham accent in general dc media? well i always love this hc because accents are just so cool to me. so hear me out (this post is specific to the gotham tv show universe but can be generalized to any universe a cataclysm/No Man's Land event has occured)

earlier i was on tiktok and i found a video talking about the human tendency to create accents over time. (the video talked about how friend groups and families create accents/dialects which is?? so cool?? but i digress)

anyway, this led me to learn about a study about a group of scientists living in antarctica and how, over the period of just one winter, their vowel sounds had begun to merge together to create the beginnings of an accent. so now, i'll relate this to the cataclysm event.

to cause this event, during which gothamites are cut off in basically every way from the outside world, the bridges around gotham are bombed and destroyed (at least in the gotham tv universe). in this same universe, the time in which they are completely undisturbed (besides one guy communicating over a radio to one lady) is 97 days (over 3 months), at which time a military strike force (kinda. they're evil) is sent in to basically kill all of the criminals there. however, these people really only communicate limitedly with police, gang leaders, and like one time with bruce wayne. but that's about it. reunification with the outside world only began after day 391. that's over an entire year of near-complete separation from the outside world.

now, they already started off most likely having some kind of accent, especially noticeable in the people who lived primarily in the city. (even if the accent isn't particularly strong/differentiated at the time.) however, now they've spent an entire year together, alone in a big city. this has the makings of a stronger accent (at least for those who were stranded in gotham when this event occurred).

one of the important things to keep in mind when considering accents/dialects is the use of specialized vocabulary words, and lemme tell ya, gotham 100% has that. even excluding all of the names they have for people and the general gang info these people have, they still have multiple different terms for parts of town (ex: the financial district = penguin's territory, etc. with the other gangs in power at the time). on top of even this, the amount of stuff that just casually goes on in gotham is seen to completely flabbergast outsiders all the time. they likely have slang that is used to refer to various things the rogues do, or things about violence, gang wars, rations, barracks, etc. there is SO MUCH opportunity for an accent to originate here??

of course, once the events of No Man's Land end and reunification happens, a ton of gothamites who weren't there during it move back in and the accent is dispersed among the population. it likely is in part shared and, over time, becomes part of common vernacular, and, in part, deteriorates, especially regarding things that are no longer as common in the distant future (ex. referring to the financial district as penguin's terf 10 years after this happens would be a bit odd). however, i do believe that this would create a lasting impact on the overall population of gotham, even if only minorly.

(to those of you who keep up with my de-aged!gotham bruce au, this is going to be featured in some of the up-and-coming chapters (slang that feels off to others, weird references, a stronger accent, if only slightly, etc.). if you have any ideas or thoughts on this topic feel free to chime in!!! i love chatting and some help brainstorming on this would be appreciated <33)

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Hi, i just saw your post. Tiktok is banned in my country and I am very curious about that video now. So I was wondering if you could summarize or just explain it, if thats not too much to ask.

Hi, darling. Of course, I’ve transcribed it for you 🫶🏻 👇🏻

“After literal years of avoiding reading ACOTAR because of all the bad things I'd heard about it, I decided I would give it a go if for no other reason than to at least know what everybody else is talking about.

What surprised me upon reading it though was how much the books actually appear to reference Israel and Palestine. Maybe this shouldn't be surprising because it turns out that the author Sarah J Maas is indeed a Zionist.

She hails from the Jewish community in New York and has spoken previously about how much happiness she felt whenattending a birthright trip to Israel, as well as the pride she feels at her family's ties to the IDF. Her grandmother still volunteers at an army base while she's in her 80s.

I didn't know about this until I was halfway through the series and at that point I decided to finish it just to be able to see if her politics manifest in the novels, and unsurprisingly they do, especially in books two and three which have the most Israeli Zionist politics.

But before we get into the Zionism that's evident in the series, let's just take a step back and note some of the Jewish influences in the novel.

There are lots of references to the Torah, and the novel also uses Hebrew words, but the most overt Jewish references come in the forms of the characters Miriam and Amren.

Miriam is a legendary figure who is half human, half fae, and was born when humans were enslaved in the Black Lands. She was given as a gift to Prince Drakon, who she escapes, but later falls in love with when he allies with humans.

The two lead her people across a desert to a sea, which Prince Drakon splits in half to lead them to safety before it crashes down upon their enemies. And this lore is obviously an adaptation of the story of Moses and the enslaved Israelites.

Amren’s situation also references Moses. She's a primordial being, godlike in her powers, and there's a scene where the people of Velaris leave lamb's blood outside their doors while she prowls the streets at night, as a sign of respect for her.

If this sounds familiar, it's because Amren represents the Angel of Death, who God sent down to kill firstborn sons in Egypt in the Passover story. Believers were told to mark lamb’s blood above their doors so that the Angel of Death would pass by without taking from them. Obviously, these references are not problematic, and in fact I kind of love it when Abrahamic religions are woven into fantasy worlds, especially when they are subversive and center women.

But where this all becomes a problem is when the Zionist elements come through, which is very clear with the city of Velaris and its underground counterpart, the Hewn city. When you introduce them and contrast them, they are very clearly representative of Israel and Palestine.

In the books, Velaris is a secret city described as a safe haven for the marginalized, particularly queer folk and women. It's considered more advanced than the surrounding cities, especially when it comes to art, and its depiction to me is very reminiscent of Israel's claims that it's the only democracy in the Middle East.

Velaris is contrasted heavily with the Hewn City, also part of the Night Court, which is portrayed as conservative, misogynistic, and homophobic.

Mor, beloved best friend to Feyre, was princess of the city; however, when she had premarital sex, she was brutalized by her family and nearly honour-killed until Rhysand stepped in and saved her.

The Hewn city is considered primitive, and its people live under a mountain. Occupants are not allowed to leave; they do not enjoy the same freedoms as those in Velaris. Apparently, because they were all brutish and backwards, and they just don't deserve them. Never mind that Mor is from the city, and it's proof that the entire population must not share these values. We as readers are expected to believe everybody in the city is homophobic, a woman abuser, and they all deserve to be trapped in what you could call an open-air prison. When Mor is the exception because she is feminist and queer.

As war looms, Rhysand is forced to request the Hewn city’s military assistance. The condition, their leader, who is Mor’s father, requests in exchange, is access to Valaris.

Mor’s father says his people want the freedom of movement that those in Valaris enjoy, which is immediately shot down and then framed by the book as a dangerous thing to grant. And like…not acceptable.

Feyre believes Mor’s father doesn't even want freedom and he's only asking for it to spite her, and for some reason this makes trapping his entire city under the Mountain okay?

This was when I realized how evil the politics of the book actually are. It does not at all question the fairness of generalising the Hewn City’s population as backwards, and it finds the thought of giving the people the same rights as those in Velaris laughable. The craziest part is that Rhysand, our hero, meets the Hewn City's demands by way of introducing what I think is a blockade. It allows them access to Velaris in limited numbers through strict checkpoints and then tells all the shopkeepers in Velaris not to serve visitors from the Hewn City, essentially creating an apartheid state to maintain these people’s status as second-class citizens.

I'm truly baffled at how Sarah J. Maas wrote about this and didn't see anything wrong with it.

Rhysand’s Inner Circle spouts similar rhetoric that Zionists use against Palestinians, and it's pretty clear that Velaris, a city of art and a safe haven for queer people, represents Israel, and the Hewn City a, blockaded territory full of a population that sees women as cattle and hates gay people, represents Palestine

This reductive positioning of Israel as kind of the West and liberatory, and then Palestine as backwards, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic is not new, and it's something we're seeing a lot right now, especially post October 7.

So I think if you are thinking about reading ACOTAR and you've been on the fence because of all the bad things you've heard about it maybe reconsider, maybe reconsider reading it, because we could also talk all day about the feminist issues and the bodily autonomy issues in it but now it’s racist, too.”

[suffarustuffaru]

Scrolling through your blog is such a fun experience, you bring an absolutely great vibe to this fandom and I love it SO MUCH. Could even say you restored my hope in it, since there has been some aspects that made me force myself to leave it, and I hope me bringing one of them up here won't upset anyone.

Now I completely understand if you wish to not answer my ask, but I figured it's worth a shot. So, one of said aspects was a controversy regarding one of the rezero characters that made me feel like you can't mention them without being called names (mostly on tiktok, but other social media also, tho not as much).

Yeah I'm talking about Felix. I'm not transphobic by any means, and I'm fine with people headcannoning whatever they want, but seeing thousands of people calling others transphobic for calling Felix a 'he' made me so unsafe I forced myself to look for other interest. Which is funny since most of the people saying this weren't even part of the fandom. I was wondering if anyone else here had similar situations and just.. how do you deal with it? It seems silly, I know, but feeling like I can't speak about a rather important character from a media I love made me so upset.

No matter how much I tried explaining it, they either dismiss it or say Tappei made him a trans girl without knowing.

Now, if you do decide to answer this and say that Felix indeed may have been 'trans coded' a little bit (Did I used that term correcly? Idk) I'll understand (hell, I would probably agree, you character analysis are great), I'm just upset at the absolute lack of respect for any other way of referring to Felix other then she/her.

(Also in case people don't know, their proof of Felix being a trans girl is the scene from EX1, with the whole calling himself a girl in front of a mirror thing)

Sorry for this is being long and probably messy I just had to get this off my chest.. also I hope I didn't came of as offensive in any way, if I did I'm really sorry.

hi there anon! first of all - aw thank you for your compliments about me and my blog. im super passionate about rezero (though thats probably super clear to anyone whos seen any content i make for a while aljsdlkf) and well. ive been lurking about in this fandom since summer 2020 so i definitely understand having to leave/distance yourself from this fandom because outside of tumblr, the rezero fandom is kind of . well. to put it simply, theres a lot of metaphorical landmines unfortunately!! T^T and admittedly i wouldve left this fandom a lot sooner if i didnt stick to my own corner and curate spaces with other people who were super chill (like lots of people lurking about here on tumblr + rz tumblr in general!!). so i totally understand how you feel anon (and youre not silly for being upset, i promise!), though admittedly im not super super familiar with some rezero spaces (such as rz twitter) bc i 1. dont speak japanese and 2. i try very hard to avoid the negativity whenever possible!! T^T

and also i apologize for taking a while to answer your ask!! you're one of my older asks that kinda got lost in my drafts hah but i also just wanted to like. take extra care with your ask bc its a super important topic. like not just to me (though its definitely important to me) but its important in general. and i really like felix so. <3

a quick disclaimer is that i myself am not transfem. i am however afab and most likely genderqueer!! (im winging it as i go hah.) felix is also not a character id say im as well-versed in yet, but i do like felix a lot and ex1 changed my entire brain chemistry. and ill also be defaulting to he/him pronouns in this post because thats what he uses in canon.

felix is - at the end of the day - a fictional character, and tappei is a cis man who doesnt Entirely write characters like felix through a queer lens. arguably tappei is Self-Aware when he writes characters who are into other characters of the same sex (though the Representation is arguably a little bit questionable at times depending on how you look at it), but when it comes to characters like felix or subaru who have some Gender Stuff going on, it's more nebulous there. i dont know if tappei 100% realizes he's made characters that could be read as Trans/Genderqueer (emphasis on "read as", because i support different interpretations of these characters), but tappei Definitely Is Very Aware that gender and gender presentation and gender roles are super important when it comes to characters like felix, subaru, and crusch.

i think tappeis own perceptions of gender and gender roles do bleed a bit into the text as much as tappei is pretty purposeful with themes surrounding gender in rezero, but rezero itself still has all sorts of identity issues to explore with a lot of its characters and gender is a big part of that!!

so first and foremost im gonna be examining felix the best i can Purely Off Of The Canon Text, though i do like viewing rezero from a queer lens myself (and it is arguably very queer). im gonna talk first about felix and then ill move onto talking about my personal feelings on rezero fandom stuff :o !!

so felix's relationship with his gender is complicated and he Absolutely does not fit into traditional gender roles or gender presentation right now. these are undeniable. and if people headcanon felix as transfem thats totally understandable and valid!! but to say a headcanon is 100% canon and that other interpretations of a character as complex as felix are invalid isnt exactly it. for sure. i mean i myself interpret him as nonbinary haah. but felix's relationship with gender is so so so So complicated that i dont think you could just say hes transfem and then Not Elaborate More.

but regardless of how Exactly you label felix, i think you could possibly say that hes trans coded. tappei, even if he probably doesnt entirely know hes made pretty genderqueer characters, is Aware and Purposeful of how gender affects felix and his perception of himself and his identity and other peoples perception of him and this is brought up Over and Over Again in canon—felix’s gender identity, at the moment, aligns more with femininity in his presentation in every way, though he still perceives himself as masculine. felix’s case is complicated, and while im not entirely sure on this i think you could argue that hes trans coded—“coding” suggests a level of intent when making these characters, and i think that intent is present in some way with tappei. because tappei Knows just how important gender is with felix’s character and you can tell with how often and how Integral it is to felix’s entire character.

(more under the cut) (i do have a habit of being rambley/wordy sometimes if. if you couldnt tell already. but i hope this response is up to your standards!!)

these three analysis posts on felix's relationship with gender have all discussed this topic in-depth before i have, and i 1. really like the rezero content i see from all three of these people and 2. they All have slightly different takes based on the canon we have but also some similar points. because felix is complicated!! of course our takes are probably gonna be a bit different - he's a multifaceted character with such a complex relationship with his gender that it's hard to tell what every single one of his personal feelings on it is (especially when at the moment he hasnt appeared in the main story since arc 5 and he still has a Lot of character development to do). and of course fiction is fiction, we can all take away any sort of meaning from a story like this.

but you know. this is my post so im gonna try to analyze felix right now and say my two cents on what i think of his relationship with gender.

so im gonna try not to retread too much on what liquidstar, sufferu, and gourmet of gluttony have already said about felix (and i think theyre all very smart people with interesting analysis posts and theyve all explained their thoughts pretty well) and instead add on with my own thoughts - theres this felix excerpt from arc 4 wn that i think about sometimes. im gonna put it down here!!

and also important to note—like other people have mentioned, crusch and felix made a “deal” of sorts in the past where crusch takes on felix’s masculinity and felix takes on crusch’s femininity. and also like other people have said—and i myself have said in the past—i do have some mixed feelings on this wkdndn and as i said before also i do wish tappeis feelings on gender bled a little less when theyre Not Integral To The Story. bc i dont think tappei 100% knows hes made trans coded characters, but. anyway yeah so thats the whole deal with crusch felix. and in its own right i think it has So Many Interesting Implications!!

i think when it comes down to it, gender presentation IS a bit of a performance, isn't it? like i love to wear dressses and skirts and i love to keep my hair short and wear suits, but you know - these sorts of things tend to be gendered. our gender is often perceived through how we present ourselves, but in recent years gender roles being attached to clothing has gotten a bit less Rigid. but these rigid roles associated with presentation are even more dialed up to Eleven in a medieval world like the rezero fantasy world. and i dont use the word "performance" in a negative way -

what i mean is that when it comes to felix's character, does felix think he's a boy because that's what he's been told? does he think he's a boy because he TRULY sees himself that way, or does he THINK he has to see himself as one? does felix try to present and perform femininity, ie as or like a traditionally feminine girl, purely ONLY for crusch's sake, or is it because felix ALSO WANTS to? what does felix think of gender outside of crusch? who is felix outside of crusch? who is felix outside of tying his entire personality to other people? does felix’s femininity show the “radiance of ferris’ soul” bc of the deal he made with crusch or bc this truly is felix’s soul? these are like the big questions behind his entire character and character arc that would determine in the end how felix identifies in both his gender and In General.

so what is felix's identity at the moment? bc right now, felix is stuck between his feminine self, tied to crusch, a symbol of crusch, tied to his own reliance on crusch and worship of her—and his masculine self, someone broken off from crusch. felix is tied to crusch right now to worrying extents with his obsessive devotion to the point of changing himself to mold into her image, and beyond that, hes still tied to guilt surrounding fourier’s death. gourmet of gluttony puts all of this way way more intelligently than i ever could, but at the end of the day, i think the best narrative decision here would be for felix to accept himself in ALL of his entirety.

healing in rezero is noted to be a kind power, specifically by fourier and fourier saying this right to felix when hes the most talented healer in lugunica, and healing itself is often stereotypically feminine activity. knighthood is stereotypically masculine, and on top of all this, we see in ex1 that biehn argyle twists the power of healing into something grotesque—trying to bring back the dead and revive what cant be revived, which is once again another reoccurring theme in rezero.

how far can “from zero” go? what HAS to stay dead and what can be revived? who is allowed to live? HOW do you live freely? felix is someone born from a horribly abusive and neglectful family who twisted healing magic’s kindness into cruelty, felix is someone who was taken into a family that showed him kindness and now hes desperate to pay them back with everything he has and everything he is, felix is a healer who lashes out when hes cornered and a healer who treasures life and a knight who cant physically fight like the others, felix is someone stuck with the horrible knowledge that he cant save everyone—that some things just Couldnt end better no matter how much he wished for it to.

felix is stuck between all kinds of worlds, and in terms of gender, hes quite literally still stuck between boyhood and manhood in the biological sense—hes purposefully made it so that he hasnt hit puberty yet so he can better pass as feminine. he hasnt Physically Grown past puberty—which is the mark of becoming an adult. and he hates himself in a number of ways, but he also hates himself for failing to be traditionally masculine. his abusive family stole ten years of his life and the torture left him physically weaker, so he cant be strong physically, which is something associated with traditional masculinity. felix is the best healer, a traditionally feminine job and skill, but he cant save everyone. felix becomes more feminine as part of his deal with crusch, but while crusch accepts her femininity and masculinity readily, and while crusch’s memory is erased by gluttony—felix is left behind, alone, still holding onto femininity while not entirely being able to hold onto it while he also cant entirely hold onto the traditional masculinity he expects out of himself. and with arc 3 on, felix feels hes failed both fourier and crusch. the two most important male and female figures in his life.

felix is basically stuck in this liminal space where hes not Enough for himself in literally every direction, and the only way out is to accept every part of himself and move forward by trying to define who he is without other people—his birth family and his found family dont define him. they can shape him, sure, but he has to stop shaping himself to meet them and figure out how to let himself just. Be. and take up a space thats firmly his. from a queer lens, this kind of thing is pretty queer—because to stop being in between worlds, you have to accept everything instead of splitting yourself into halves over and over again. killing or maiming yourself or parts of yourself is no way to live, and felix is Life itself.

and i think regardless of the Exact Labels you could give felix, i think his arc—which is perfectly in line with all of rezeros themes—is inherently about self acceptance and the bridging of the gap and combination of femininity and masculinity. felix is both and identifies, in one way or another, with both, similar to how he loves someone who identifies with both (crusch) and just as hes loved her and fourier. imo it wouldnt be right for felix to choose one or the other in terms of feminine vs masculine—he needs to be the one learning and navigating his honest feelings on both sides bc i think he Yearns to be both. hes a boy who dresses like a girl and its up to him to know if he wants to be a man and/or a woman due to his own internal desire or if parts of that is Only due to external pressures.

--

and alright now that ive said all my thoughts on felix atm im gonna address the other questions you had in your ask!! note that this is just my opinions and thoughts regarding my own experience in the english fandom, you dont have to agree or anything 👍

but i AM very sorry about your negative experiences in this fandom. T^T people calling other transphobic for using he/him for felix (and also people being transphobic about characters like felix or subaru/natsumi in general) is something ive seen as well. the rezero fandom is sadly very often toxic and Bigoted in a lot of ways (with the exception of rezero tumblr and certain segments of rezero ao3, from what ive seen), which is Ironic for a story thats so clearly about love and self-acceptance, which is also ironic because arguably tappei and otsuka and the rezero marketing team (i Love the female characters in rezero but theres just so much sexualized or vaguely sexist merch/moments that dont add to the story, you know? kind of just. misses the point of their characters sometimes.) sort of contribute to it a little bit as much as tappei does do some really great things with his writing.

rezero is the first fandom ive been active in but its definitely not the first ive ever been in, and ive been in some insane fandoms before. like i said earlier though, i think i just cope by curating my experience to what i like, yknow? liking posts i enjoy, looking at stuff i enjoy, etc :O !! fandom is a hobby so i try not to look at negative stuff when i can help it wkdnd. which im sure youre aware about already but i always have to keep reminding myself of this bc places like rezero reddit or twitter get pretty rough!! but its really helped me just following artists and creators i like, enjoying their content, chatting with cool people i vibe with, rezero tumblr being the chillest rezero space in the whole fandom, and its also helped me a lot making rezero content of my own—like this whole blog!! its really shocked me how much people seem to value my thoughts enough to ask me things frequently but i appreciate it pfft. and i hope you guys like reading my posts!!

but yeah like. curate, curate, curate. it helps a LOT and it gets me excited to experience rezero not only by myself you know? not that i didnt have fun by myself but its its own level of fun finally finding spaces to have fun with others!! and i LOVE finding beautiful fanart!! chef’s kiss. and trying to be the change i want to see is satisfying on its own :,) i want to post random shit about rezero, so i post it. i want to make fanart for fun and share it. i want to brute force people into loving otto more so i ottopost (dont worry, i still hate him bc true otto fans also hate him at the same time <3 /lh). i want more queer rezero content so i try to make some more!! brings more personal power i think and its very fun!! and it helps with lessening the quiet despair of fandom toxicity ;-;; (which is something ive done many times and will continue to do sometimes so i feel your pain 🫂) and i promise theres cool people in the fandom 👍 i may reply late to asks or dms but im ALWAYS down to talk about rezero things its so fun 👍👍

and its really really hard sometimes to deal with fandom toxicity especially if its forcefully knocking at your door—definitely dont force yourself to stay or look at things if you cant, bc thats totally understandable!! and i myself have been harassed a little in the past. but definitely having some sort of coping—the block button, backing out of things you dont agree with or like, lots and lots of curating, etc—helps me a lot. and i think mental health wise i feel much better trying to look on the bright side of things!! its MY hobby goddammit!! ill fight people subaru-style if they try to poison it!! and however long anyone reading this decides to spend with rezero and rezero tumblr—you are welcome here 👍

but yes my very Long rambling aside - i hope this post somewhat helped you!! felix is a very important character that i like very much and need to learn more about and i have Many Feelings on the english side of this fandom, but im very grateful to all the cool people ive met over the years here for sure!! :o

also ill probably post the finished version soon but if youve read this far here is a sneak peak of felix art i did recently (just as a reward for once again reading all of my Endless Yapping)👍👍

[sodaquail]

Dude I’m so hyped for your werewolf AU, you have no idea. I’m the biggest werewolf!Chip fan out there. Anyways, if you want asks (sorry if I misinterpreted your post):

What type of werewolf are we talking here? Classic bipedal or twilight style giant wolf? Somewhere in between?

Are any of the other characters werewolves, and/or does Chip know any others?

Is lycanthropy a known thing? How do people react?

One of my D&D books has a section on lycanthropy, and while you can play player characters affected by it, it goes hand and hand with the Evil alignment (it’s an older book, not sure about lycanthropy in 5E). Is this similar in your AU, or are werewolves misunderstood?

Don’t feel obligated to answer any of these haha, I understand that they could definitely lean into spoiler territory, I’m just so excited!! :D Werewolf world building is the best.

Im sooooo glad to see you're excited!!! I can totes add you to the tag list ^_^

for the TYPE of wolf... I totally leant more into mythology rather than werewolf movies. ive never actually watched a werewolf movie (although, a friend said wolfchip would be like the wolves from twilight so now im planning a marathon with IRLs.... oops) I'm doing a lot of worldbuilding into the nature and magic of werewolves and that stays hidden but.. - physically they are BIG. like twilight wolf sized... big big. - They have no tail (a mythology thing for werewolves!! common for creatures rumored to just be witches in disguse actually) I was VERYYYYYYYY much not going to pull the werewolf pop culture thing and have some 'weird human-wolf hybrid cross' because i did not like the idea tooooo much..... would rather be taken out back and killed with bricks than make chip bipedal wolf-man hybrid thing.... noooooooo...... also in human form werewolves are distinctly inhuman!! Won't go into TOO MUCH worldbuilding of mine but essentially, among other things their wolf form and traits fluctuate with the lunar cycle. on new moon they're indistinguishable from human, on full moon they're fully wolf, and all inbetween is a mix of traits. It all depends on when you catch em, whether it's day or night, whether it's new moon or close to full moon.... you might not know what you're signing up for if you find a normal person on the full moon only for them to change as the lunar cycle goes on, lol. but from mythology these are the traits which often identify a werewolf in human form - unibrow (not giving chip this one. no dice) - low, swinging stride (yes!) - lower set ears (also yes!) - when the skin is cut, there is fur under it! (yes, but i felt might be too obscure for people.... not included in common werewolf pop culture sadly...) as well as a few special things of my own!!! I ALSO HAVE A PHOTO OF WHAT WOLFCHIP LOOKS LIKE!! i found this on a dog grooming video on tiktok and went 'thats wolfchip."

2) Yes! I have one confirmed werewolf NPC (of my own making for the purposes of the story) and am toying with the idea of making another character a werewolf. It won't be too big of a deal though... just a neat little reference!! 3) now THIS is staunchly spoiler territory!! sorry dude!!! 4) this is also spoiler territory but what i will say is that I did not go off of DND modules (although it wouldnt hurt to give them a read...)!! I play BECMI and 5e as my DND modules among other TTRPGS but i did not lean from any of them. Honestly, I didn't take much inspiration for my werewolf worldbuilding outside of some mythology shit (and not a lot, anyway). I think i just went off the general, well known werewolf myths and said 'ok what can i do with this' and i sewed and cut and now it is a new beast. it is MY beast. TYSM for your questions!!! Hope you enjoy the final project ahhhh...... seeing the answers for the spoilers in the fic will be SO much better than reading them here i swear :3

[gremlintooth]

AHHHGH DUDE, IVE FINALLY FOUND YOU ON HERE, YESSSS BRO, YOUR WRITING IS PHENOMENAL, (I'd say I'm the biggest lagwafis enthusiast on the internet, as soon as i read lagwafis, I bought the CD, the collectors edition pill pack white shirt, I have so so so many quotes on my Craig Tucker Shrine from the fic, and if you wanted to know, I've currently managed to read lagwafis 388 times, people believe I know it by heart, get it? "I know you by heart, Tweek" and the agonizing fact I quote lagwafis every day whenever I see a brink of reference infront of me, like let's say yesterday, I was in a store- and I saw a tub of chai latte and I was so close to screaming lagwafis reference inside of the store, I'm also cooking up some fan art (specifically from coming home) so I'll totally tag you when it's out) AHHH I'M GONNA WRITE SO MUCH ON HERE IT MIGHT GO TO THE LIMIT, okay so first, let's talk about the fanfic itself, there are SO many tiny details in this fic that have either made me laugh or cry in agony, which is a good thing, also, the characterization is TOP TIER, a lot of fanfictions tend to fall slightly short on the background characters outside of the pairing that tends to be the main focus. This was a great change, especially in Craig's group and Stan especially, everyone felt so real and totally had obvious quirks from the fandom itself that I LOVED SO MUCH, your writing evokes so much emotion that I somehow managed to feel exactly how everyone felt in a chapter relevant to them.

Let's talk about the character description choices, the way you described Tweek in almost every chapter made my heart ache in the best way possible, you made him sound like a fallen angel, the definition of ethereal, also the fact you decided on giving him that mouth scar with backstory to it is TOP TIER, I have a similar scar on my lip and whenever I see it in the mirror I think of Tweek from this fanfic, let's move on to Craig, the way you wrote his internal monologue and the way his emotions played out made me absolutely soul crushed, this entire fic left a deep pit in my heart, especially how Craig was described, Craig was written so realistically that it actually felt like he was real. He purposely blocked off his emotions to prevent himself from being seen as vulnerable, he struggled with keeping his “I don’t give a shit” personality until it all just exploded and the part that he was so vulnerable with was exposed to the entire school.

Also I see that the lagwafis anniversary is coming up soon!! I usually celebrate it every year when I get the chance to, by doing lagwafis related things and shit, this fanfic deserves way more than just kudos and comments and hits, this fic deserves the damn world and beyond, I even had literal dreams of this fic being one day announced to be an animated movie, and if it ever did I would cry and vomit in the best way ever possible, my life would be so complete if we became moots on here, also, I'm not sure if you have TikTok, but that's where I'm most known to being the lagwafis enthusiast on there, i make a lot of lagwafis related videos, my username is spacecadetcraigz, if you ever see this at some point, just know im so grateful you took your time to read through this.

I literally wish you the best life for now on

Yours truly,

Spacecadetcraig

388 times????? That’s true dedication my friend, you must read it like twice a week? Incredible, I’m so glad you enjoy something I wrote this much. I’m also so glad you love the album by Spiritualised too, it’s such a special album and there’s something so perfect about the title track that I’ve never been able to shake.

I didn’t even realise the anniversary was coming up, thanks for reminding me! It’s so weird to think I started writing that story six years ago. At that time I’d been catching up with South Park and when I first saw the Tweek X Craig episode it was my new favourite thing from the first minute in.

An animated movie would be amazing, Matt and Trey give us the rights pls, free of charge if possible (they’d so try for another billion dollar deal ahahahah)

I’m going to check you out on tiktok and if you do make fanart please tag me! I’d love to see!

[mostspecialgirl]

i dont think i can do “artist spaces” anymore because i’m really stupid. - ramble post with no point or central focus aside from making myself feel less weird

like…. i’m stupid. and i like it! But every artist i meet is like some kind of super genius and irs kind of nuts, everyone’s got such vision and intelligence and honed skill and all these interesting things about their lives and practice away from the arts and i’m some kind of inert orb who doesn't have much soul in her work aside from "isnt this cool like a animes" or "this is how im feeling". at least when it comes to Drawinf a Pitures.

i can deal with spaces where everyone’s just hanging out and Some People Happen to be Artists but spaces primarily composed of people steeped in the arts actually remind me that i'm a socially inept cavewoman who barely knows how to use the microwave. sufficiently talented artists ('sufficient' referring to people who have labelled themself an artist and have been online for more than 2 years) who i end up talking to online are 80% of the time some kind of Art Student Med Student Math Prodigy or Mentally Ill Genius Socially Inept Outsider Artist with insane Honed Unique Skill and when you apply that 80% to a whole lump of people in a GC or a Discord Server where the other 20% don't really talk there it gets real mentally exhausting as someone generally quite unimpressive and classically unskilled.

i dunno. I just kind of find it interesting that people with such talent, skill, wit, and (as ive repeated endlessly) intelligence are always drawn to the arts. a lot of my friends ive made who are very smart people ive learned 3 years into the friendship they used to do painting studies and are some kind of closet picasso while ive been showing them my meager collection of shale and sediment. is the pursuit of the artistic a mark of something deeper? what must one’s character lack to not seek creative self expression? what separates a creator from a consumer, and the blind from the perceptive? is creating art for the simple purpose of “cool and fun” shallow? does that answer change with ones talent? what is shallow art? is there truly such a thing?

cough

anyway. i’m just kind of a dumb baby, and it makes me sad that i never really feel like i can talk about art with most people because i don’t know anything. i’m not looking for construction or anything, i just want to be able to say “isn’t making something fun” without being reminded of my own inadequacies. i feel like art shouldn’t have to be this “smart” thing, and it isn’t, but art itself draws in the smart, and so like in many other spaces i feel a bit outcasted. obviously the solution here is to talk to MINORS from TIKTOK (gets cancelled)

but i really dunno. i feel stupid a lot these days and i feel like there aren’t any spaces that fit me, even when on paper these should be the spaces i should be in. even off the paper, anywhere i go i can’t help but feel like a bit of a bump on a log. like an erroneously flipped bit. i’m the stray ray from the sun beamed into the nintendo 64. that’s how i feel among other people, no matter who i’m with. it’s strange, because i really do like myself. i’ve passed a lot of the self deprecation and self doubt that used to chain me, and is it strange to say i believed casting those aside would help me find a bit more belonging among other people?

it hasn’t! life’s the same! maybe worse? i’m not self actualized or anything, but i think i’ve really grown as a person, so it’s sort of sucky that i fit better in place as a problem child. well i suppose as the Old Ones spoke, every group needs The Rick Friend. meeting people is hard. wanting to stay among people i’ve met is even harder. i like to blame a lot of it on the Modern Internet and the sheer amount of how many people have invaded my once cozy corners. with The Net these days being less of a space for Niche Freaks and instead being Grandma And Your Little Cousin Just Saw You Post Your Wiener On Instagram i’d think it’s only natural i’m running into less likeminded people. but i dunno. i feel like some of it’s my fault. i’m a weird little giblet of a girl, aren’t i? and man do i EVER hate people. I’m a big hater.

everybody i meet these days just makes me drool because everyone’s some kind of Valorant Edater or Reddit Object Show Minor or The Hypersexual or Someone I’m Too Intimidated By or Someone Who Does Not Want To Be Talking To Me. where’s Literally Anything Else. Everyone i meet these days fits into those categories. Give me anything else. What is wrong with my Spaces

i really don’t know how people make friends online these days. i’m always posting these days about Haha I Need Friends and Haha I Need A Wife that falls endlessly into the empty infinite void (much like now) for a reason. no matter where i seem to go, i walk dragging my feet, half-lidded and unengaged with a soft scowl on my face. i’ll figure it out, right? i’ll certainly make new friends, right? because i have to, right?

i dont wanna go to work tomorrow dude

[itainteasy-beinchzzy]

Five Steps to DCP

Recently I was accepted into the Disney College Program. Disney runs this internship program to give college students a chance to work at Walt Disney World and see a glimpse of what keeps Disney’s gears turning. Getting accepted to this program is quite challenging. There are several hoops to jump through before you can get into the program. I have compiled a quick five-step guide as an overview for getting into the program.

Before I start, I would like to give some context on what the Disney College program is and some of the specs. The program allows curious individuals who want to help create and contribute to the magic of Disney. College program participants will be placed in housing right outside the gates of Disney and will work full-time on property. Program participants can work in a variety of jobs ranging from custodial to being a character performer all while having the chance to network and connect with Cast Members in all fields.

Step 1: Research- Before applying to the Disney College Program there is a lot you need to know. The Walt Disney Company has a lot of its own lingo and procedures that are unique. If you were to apply to the program with no prior knowledge you may become very confused. One of the things I learned in my research was that there are no “jobs” at Disney! Everything is instead referred to as a “role” that Cast Members (employees) perform. Besides researching the company, it is important to research the program itself to be sure it is the right fit for you. There are many aspects of the DCP life I was unaware of before I started looking into participating myself.

Step 2: Planning- Participating in the Disney College Program is a huge commitment. In order to participate you have to move into the Disney housing and pay an acceptance fee. Potential participants need to be ready to put their lives and education on hold for a semester. Participants work full time while they are with Disney so many are unable to do school at the same time. Some folks are able to do a few online courses, but it depends on what your college offers. These are all factors that must be accounted for when you decide to do the college program.

Step 3: Connecting- Some of the most important tips I got for getting into the Disney College Program were from current cast members and program participants. I found it extremely helpful to hear first-hand what the interview and onboarding processes were like. Social media made it easy to find people to talk to. There are DCP pages on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Reddit full of cast members so I was able to ask questions. Any questions you may have about the program, or the interview can be very easily answered. Part of being a cast member is being friendly and approachable so don’t be afraid to reach out to current cast.  

Step 4: Applying- Applying to the DCP is super exciting but also super stressful. College students from all over the world are applying for the same position as you and spots are very limited. In order to better my chances of getting an early interview, I sent in my application the day the form opened. The official Disney College Program social media accounts post updates as to when applications will be opening. I recommend following them to stay up to date. It is important to have your papers and resume organized before applications open. If applications fill up too quickly, they may close early, so it is important to be diligent.

Step 5: Interviewing- The interview is the most nerve-wracking part of the process. It takes place over the phone so you must convey your enthusiasm and charisma audibly. The Disney recruitment team is looking for a very specific type of person. It is important to smile through the whole interview and to be open to chatting. Some advice I received before my interview is that Disney is a storytelling company. If you want to stand out during your interview, share personal stories of how Disney has positively impacted you. The more personal connections you are able to make with your recruiter, the better. The most important thing is confidence. Carry yourself like a current cast member would so you can make the best impression possible.

            These are just a few things that I learned on my journey to getting into the Disney College Program. The five steps I have laid out are the broad strokes of what you need to know but it is important to find the answers to any specific questions you may have regarding the DCP. There is a lot of information out there, but this is a great place to start.

[theninthdoor]

bahiyyih || a look into 2023 (part II); tarot reading

(In Part I: General View of Her 2023 ⭒ Her Role/Attitude  ⭒ Swords || Mental State.)

⭒ Cups || Emotional State:

cards: ten of cups, six of cups

Now we're back with some positivity! Emotionally, 2023 will be a great year for her, even though she's dealing with communication issues. Both of these cards reference family connections, so 1) she could be relying on them more than ever before; 2) she's wanting to spend more time with them; or 3) we will see her promoting with her brother more often OR even collaborating with him (on tiktok or some collab stage, for example). There is also a possibility that she could be reconnecting some old friends or work colleagues, and rekindling those friendships/partnerships will then bring her immense joy. Overall, it's just a period of great emotional contentment, really. She's feeling loved, valued and cared for; she has a strong support system to help her through tough times.

⭒ Pentacles || Career/Financial State:

So, here's the thing: when I first pulled the cards for this reading (some 2 weeks ago), I got… drum roll… the 3 of pentacles rx + 4 of pentacles. Those were the EXACT SAME cards that I got for both Chenle and Jaehyun in this section of their readings! At this point, I can only assume that this is an industry problem, not a NCT/SME problem. With that in mind, I pulled some clarifications cards on this issue, and this is what I got: five of pentacles, judgement, three of wands reversed. Basically, we're seeing most groups having a lot of trouble getting enough/proper recognition for their work this year. They're not getting enough opportunities; money and time are being wasted; the public isn't buying what they're selling… things aren't looking pretty over here. Companies will then start to shift their groups' image/sound/performance style more drastically to fit into the trends, which will leave the artists feeling very frustrated and uninspired. No matter how hard they work, the public only cares about a couple of particular things and nothing more! If these groups don't have those things, they won't pay any attention to them. So, similarly to what we saw with the NCT members, Bahiyyih will also be dealing with a lot of setbacks and confusion regarding her career. Nothing seems to be working; no one knows what to do or what the public really wants; they are doing things just for the sake of doing them… I don't know what else to say about this, to be honest. They are part of the machine, and the machine is out of control.

If you guys ever come across another reading on this topic, please send me the link! I would love to know what other readers have to say about this + the changes in the kpop industry in 2023. Every time I take a look at this topic, it's always a big, confusing mess… maybe it's a ME problem… at this point I don't even know anymore… (you can also send me your own opinions! I'd love to know what you think)

⭒ Wands || Energy/Creative State:

cards: two of wands, five of wands

Ok, so- she will be making lots of plans for her future, and deciding on which paths to take; what projects to give up on; what projects to put at the top of her list; etc. It's not really a year of action, exactly, but moreso a year of making decisions and thinking outside the box. She's not limiting herself to what she knows - she's exploring new possibilities; new ways to express her creativity. She's being very collaborative, too, and sharing her own ideas with others (instead of just following along with what they want without giving her opinion). However, there's also the sense here that external influences (people's opinions/personalities/wants and needs) could make it a little difficult for her to follow through with her plans right away or as she would like. There's just a lot going on around her; she's being pulled in all kinds of directions. This could also be talking about her group, though, since she's still quite attached to them (professionally) and venturing on her own in the industry won't be all that easy, considering group schedules + her company's priorities and desires. Nonetheless, there's a lot of fire in her! She wants to act and to put forward her wishes for the future. She's ready to compete and prove herself! (I also wonder if there will ever be talks of her/the group being in some kind of competition again?? I'm not too confident in this, though! Just a thought that came through...)

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

[hereforyourdispleasure]

🍉,🍓,🍰,🍫- Darian

🍟, 🍕, 🍪, 🍻, 🍷- Mark

🍩,🌽, 🍒 - Alir

🍋, 🎂, 🍔, 🍰- Adrian

I'm gonna post this now because it's been sitting in my drafts for weeks. Sorry Alir 💀 looks like I didn't have motivation to answers their's

Darian

A particular piece of jewelry he refuses to part with?- He, Mark and Alir have matching rings. He did get a necklace and a couple rings from Dani but refuses to risk damaging/losing them. He has a few funky things- 80s style bracelets, pop culture themed jewelry. But he's honestly not much for actually wearing them. The jewelry collection will be added to in near future though apparently 😰

Any particular scents he likes?- Petrol station. That's all I'll say. Pine and sea salt too

Something he counts as unforgivable?- Killing/knowingly endangering his friends. If someone's done it, he just won't move on from it, you'll always be untrustworthy to him. Yes this includes himself, even if he was trying to avoid endangering people

Where does he go to think?- The bunkers. Everything always leads back to them. Sometimes around other people, if he wants some sort of outside input (but there's also the chance of him thinking out loud around certain people is a plot. It definitely was when he did it once or twice to Baphomet)

Mark

Guilty pleasure?- I don't think he'd see any point in covering it up, he just likes puzzles. Likes making them mostly

How does he spend a lazy day?- Ahahohoho. Don't be silly. This man is always working. He'd probably just hang around with Darian and Alir, or his friends in his department. If not, there's always new machines to be working on, security systems to update. He's a busy guy too

Something sentimental?- He doesn't really do sentimental. But he takes pride in his work, and feels sentimental about particular creations. He'll always adore any gifts Darian and Alir give him though

Comfort ritual/how he calms down after a rough day?- Rich kid shit. Fancy bath, go out for a meal

Adrian

Most painful memory?- Really depends on what age specifically we're talking about, because Adrian technically refers to the age range of late 18/19 to 21. 18/19 Adrian is obviously still getting over a death. Is he over the events that lead to him getting picked up by commission? Probably not. 20 Adrian has a hell of a lot going on, doesn't really have time or any need to focus on the past. 21 Adrian though is in the direct aftermath of seeing basically all his project co-workers be ripped apart, nearly ending up the same way only to be saved by another reality being for some reason and being blamed for the whole project. So yeah, probably that

Is he different to first perceptions of him? How does he surprise people?- Mmm yes and no. He's very aware of his reputation and the assumptions and perceptions of him. And he'll lean into the ones he sees as useful. They aren't exactly false, he can easily live up to the perceptions, and very much has done. But as I've said before, Adrian was the one that took in Alir. It'd be cliché to say oh he's just a mean guy with a soft side. He's an asshole because of 18 years of losing every chance of living a good life despite fighting for it, and he's tired and obviously being manipulated. But he's not the "has a soft side prick 🥺", he just has the common sense to not blindly follow everything. He has morals. Sometimes. Even if it really doesn't seem like it. Because he is still Darian, he is still Dante

Are there any recent trends he would love or hate?- He'd hate tiktok trends I can't lie. At this point he's barely had a chance to be on the internet. If he saw a bunch of people younger than him doing weird dances or jokes that 100m other people have already done, he'd probably avoid the internet altogether. He'd love shit like the tidepod challenge just because he'd want to see stupid people get consequences

Something he counts as unforgivable?- Honestly most crimes against children. Hypocritical of him, yes, because of the noncanon rp. But he'll absolutely not deal with prolonged and serious suffering when it comes to young people. Any mistreatment because of discrimination? Not even a second thought, they're already dead to him. Then obviously sexual assault, stuff along those lines

[htsailicarus]

I can't believe this is the first post I'm gonna make on this blog

I had a bad dream

I've known for literally the entirety of my teenage and adult life that you DO NOT EAT FOOD in dreams. Like ever. You don't need to eat because it's a dream. You especially NEVER take food offered to you. Last night I had a wild dream. I can't remember every detail as clearly as I'd like. But I remember a co-worker being there. I remember that myself and several people with doing experiments. The end result of one was "electrocuted snails". I don't remember why I thought it was a good idea to eat them, but I did. The charred outside wasn't too bad. It actually had a pork flavor to it. But the inside was gooey and vile.

The whole point to me writing this is that when I woke up, I was bothered. I remembered that I wasn't supposed to eat in dreams. I vaguely remembered that it was because someone meant me ill will. So I started to google it. But every result that I turned said that it was about "spiritual nourishment" and "being close to a loved one".

This bothered me even more. I remembered that this was supposed to be a bad thing. That the things that I had just dreamt of were warnings. But it was like everything I had ever known was gone. Wiped away. No reference of the dream or the action of eating being dangerous was online to be found at all. This set me into a state of paranoia that I haven't felt in a very very long time. I'm still kind of freaked out about it as I write this. I've slowly found bits and pieces of it across dream interpreting websites and TikTok but none of the witchy references that I had gotten used to. It's like it's all just gone. The absence of my known research is honestly what has me feeling worse, paranoid, more anxious, and overall worse than anything else I had come across.

The other thing that I can't get out of my head that feels too coincidental is the fact that there are a LOT of references popping up about "spiritual" and "christian" meanings. Keep in mind, my husband and I are about as anti judeo christian as you can get. So references that center around churches, pastors, or god are automatically a scroll away. Meanwhile, the co-worker that I referenced as being in the dream from earlier, is incredibly religious. We still get along really well, but now I'm definitely avoiding any more deep talks with her for a while.

Journaling all of this has helped. I feel calmer, a little less panicky, and a lot less paranoid. The anxiety is still there, but I'm breathing through it.

I want to keep writing. I want some more coffee. I need some water. I have three books to read through today that are pressing. I want to get some products done for my etsy shop. I need to finish painting the dragon for my kitchen sign. I need to fix and straighten up some things that are immediately around me. I'm tired again but I'm ready to work. I really wasn't made to relax. When I relax, I just sleep. As nice as sleep is, I wake up more upset that I wasn't doing something productive.

I'm gonna make another pot of coffee.

[stellardeer]

I feel like a lot of people dont know or understand what being a "pick me" means, I feel like they just heard the word on tiktok and decided that it means whatever they want it to mean.

If you dont know, the term originally was used to describe women/girls specifically, and a "pick me" girl is one who puts down other women in a misogynistic way that makes it clear she wants approval from men. Specifically by agreeing with men if they say things like "women talk too much/care too much about their hair/nag too much" and she would probably agree by saying "Yeah thats stupid girly stuff. Why do they get so mad at their boyfriends over stupid shit I would never do that." And act like they are incapable of ever doing anything that would qualify them as one of the same women that men complain about. They'll call other women stupid or clingy or slutty or whatever misogynistic thing they've heard a man say at some point in their life because they dont want to be grouped in with the women that those men are talking about. Its the "im not like other girls" mentality.

This was always the definition, it was talking about a very specific type of person. There is no such thing as a "pick me" boy because men are not held to the same standards of making themselves as small and nonconfrontational as possible that women are.

But I've seen so many people using the term to just refer to like... anyone who... wants attention?? Or anyone who is willing to agree with what someone else says to get them to like them. Which, okay maybe that's fair. But the term originated in feminist discussions to describe a specific phenomenon, to shed light on the idea that women need to stand up for each other and not tear each other down. Using it outside of that context waters it down and just makes it sound like women who perpetuate the patriarchy are the same as like.. someone who is willing to pretend to be into pokemon cause they want to make friends??

Anyway my former roommate was complaining once about a new a girl at her work and she called her a pick me and I asked how she was being a pick me, and she said she just spent the whole day talking to male customers in a really bubbly way and like hyping them up and stuff and she made it sound like she thought this girl was kind of air headed and I was like?? That just sounds like someone who is flirting? She is just flirty. Is she saying bad things about ther girls or are you just annoyed that she was getting attention from men while she was supposed to be working? And I asked her what she thinks a pick me girl is, cause this was the second time I had heard her use the phrase wrong, and I explained what its supposed to mean. But, knowing this person, who I am no longer friends with, she very clearly saw most other women as competition and she also talked shit constantly about "sorority girls" and how they dressed and talked, and it was so ironic that she was calling this bubbly flirtatious girl a pick me because, dude, literally you complaining about her right now because men like her and you think she's stupid IS PICK ME BEHAVIOUR.

[ivy-forevemore13]

I've been following the whole Vienna 'drama' for a while now even though I'm not a Swiftie (I like her songs that I know and love seeing TikToks of all the bracelets but that's about it) and I've been itching to give an outsider's perspective. So maybe you're intersted? Otherwise just delete it :)

I completely understand why Vienna Swifties 'needed' a statement. This wasn't just a simple concert or transaction (like I've seen people call it). From what I've seen on TikTok about other concerts, that's exactly the point. It's so much more than that. So of course they were devastated to have that taken away from them.

I'm no expert when it comes to terrorism, so I can't comment on the safety of making a statement at certain times. However, by not making a small (even covert) statement, I think it was even more present everywhere. Especially since the crowd was the target, it wasn't about Taylor or her reaction. And I also don't understand why it's safer to talk about it now, when the tour isn't over yet. I doubt that terrorists care about continents. But again, not an expert and my biggest issue is actually with the statement itself.

I've seen some video of Coldplay acknowledging Taylor Swift fans and it makes me wonder why she didn't do something at her last concert in London (if we stay true to the it wasn't safe to speak out before explanation). Something along the lines of "This song is for my fans in Vienna. I'm so sad I didn't get to sing for you.

Reading the statement as an outsider makes it seem to me that Vienna was very much an afterthought. Even the paragraph about Vienna starts with a reference to London. Then she mentions that she loved to see the unity, instantly followed by saying that she then decided to focus on her fans in London. I don't understand why she links these two things so closely together, pushing Vienna into London's shadow.

I would have expected some direct words to the Vienna fans, something like "I'm glad you're safe." Sure, you can argue it's implied, but why not addres them directly, and give them what they're craving.

The paragraph starting with "let me be clear" sounds very passive agressive to me, signalising that she agrees with so many Swifites that the Vienna Swifities "should just get over it and that she doesn't owe them anything". She could have written something like "I couldn't adress this before because it wasn't safe. And I know that was frustrating for many of you, but I will always put the safety of my fans first." She could have even added something about please giving her the benefit of the doubt the next time because she loves her fans.

I have so much more to say, but this is already way too long. In the end I think people forget that this isn't just a random person deciding what to post. I'm sure this was looked over or even written by someone in Taylor's team, so all these little digs and the overshadowing Vienna with London are in my opinion deliberate.

And finally I did expect her to give some sort of "hope" or "closure" to the Vienna Swifities. Something like "I'm devastated you didn't get to see the Eras tour, but I can't wait to come back in the future for other tours."

hey:) thank you for you perspespective! as someone who would‘ve been in vienna, we are currently getting a lot of backlash by the rest of the fandom. i‘m no expert either, but maybe i can comment a bit on it from a more „inside perspective“(as far as one can call it that and if you want to read about that):

‼️this is reaaaaaally long and also probably not always proper english, i apologize in advance‼️

1. a statement wasn‘t inherently necessary. the reason it „escalated“ is, i‘d say, that taylor normally puts out some words on awful situations pretty quickly. so this felt a bit weird as we firstly didn’t get anything. but at least we got something now. and yeah, people saying to „just get over it“ also adds a lot of salt to the wound, especially as many of them went already and call it one of the best days of their lives.

2. i‘ve also wondered. people have also made things up like „it‘s an open investigation“, which it hasn’t been for about two weeks, to reason her not speaking up. it‘s not just the attention that it brought to the topic by not speaking, but i‘ve also wondered how taylor‘s word would make her fans more of a target if she speaks up even though it feels like the entire world (fans, other artists, politicians, governments) are consistently talking about it. (if anybody on this app can explain this in kind words, i‘d appreciate it). and i‘ve also thought about the continents thing, as if someone wants to attack, i don’t think it matters to them much where they have to go to execute. but i‘m guessing it’s also because there is a bit of a break between the last shows in north america. so maybe that could make it safer? or maybe more dangerous because there is more time to plan? (i don’t really know, there is a lot to consider)

3. i love coldplay for this action! i also think it would‘ve been nice to get something dedicated by taylor in london, but maybe she didn’t feel comfortable about addressing the issue on stage or didn’t want to drag down the mood of the crowd, so i‘m not too „angry“ about that.

4. i also feel like the statement was more of a „let’s talk london“ thing. i‘m not going to complain about it (calm down, vienna-haters) but i would’ve appreciated something nicer as well as about us. i was also confused these were the only cities mentioned, as she talked about the entire european leg of the tour, but not about any other cities.

but maybe explain the london-heaviness: taylor LOVES london. they got something special nearly every night(like hayley williams, travis on stage, gracie abrams, ed sheeran and and and) as well as a total of 8 concerts (3 were already in june). so that she makes most of this about london isn’t all that surprising.

5. i‘m guessing it is implied, but i also would’ve liked seeing some of those words. people say she reacted to it because of the way fans commented on her and her teams (taylornation) posts with „we would like some words about vienna“ or „we feel ghosted“ so they (or we) get told off for being bullies and putting pressure on her. which, yes it was repetitive, demanding and could’ve been handled better, but also there is a lot emotion of behind those comments. just as much emotion as there probably was behind taylor’s rather passive aggressive answer to all of that. i think that both us vienna swifties as well as taylor just put out „frustration“ into all of the commentary.

6. as i said, i also don’t really like the passive aggressiveness to the vienna swifties. but as i also said before, it’s probably stress and emotional distress. but people use it to reason their hate to the vienna fans, so maybe that’s the reason i would have worded it differently as well. it also rubs me the wrong way as she has the brand (yes people, don’t get mad, taylor is a person but also „taylor swift“ is a brand to the public) of being really kind and empathetic to fans. so this just felt like a gut punch.

7. i don‘t mind the length! but yes, i also thought about her having her pr team a lot since the situation has been unfolding. and that the dig was highly likely deliberate does hurt quite a bit. especially thinking about the amount of money lost (i lost nearly the entire money for the hotel because i couldn’t get myself to go to vienna either way, as well as not even the entire ticket price). of course, the money isn‘t her issue, but i saved a loooooot to get to see her. especially since i would’ve driven to another country and still go to school (ikik i‘m pretty young and quite irrational, i know that, no need that anyone points that out). we don’t have the fortune of having a pr team to tell us how to handle our impulses and stop us from doing something stupid. so yeah, that went deep and definitely reopened some of the disappointment.

8. that‘s pretty much everything that we wanted as well. some had hope of rescheduling, but mostly people just wanted something so we can properly move on. so i‘m guessing it just wasn’t in for us.

thank you sooooo much for your opinion:))) it‘s nice to see kind people, no matter if part of the fandom or just casual listener, especially since i’ve had to distance myself from a lot of the swiftie community as many have just consistently been hating and some even bullying us (that street goes both ways, everyone. not just taylor can be bullied in this fandom). so i hope you aren’t too annoyed by my overly long answer:D

[preciadosbass]

15/8/24 [1 DIY/2, if you concider the jacket diy due to the custom aspects + got 2 CDS!! key & significant photos at end]

reguarding the end of yesterdays journal, the update for when i actually went to sleep was 3:40-50. i woke up today at 8, fed boris and briefly said goodmorning to him, checked my socials, and got to adding a new addition to the things i post. i’ve decided to do weekly recaps/highlights to focus on the cool things i’ve done because i can imagine most people dont want to read the long journals i write and find out if there’s anything interesting hidden in there. i therefore started screenshotting parts of my previous journals to write it down and make a draft/drafts. at 9:20 i started making just random drafts, like unposted pictures ive taken at reptile experience, things like that.

AND saw the new gerard way sighting via my tumblr feed!! apparently he was at the cinema again XD — at 9:30 i started downloading drawing references of my fav musicians and got to drawing my killjoy oc again at the same sort of time. i finished at 10:30 and had to keep on redrawing stuff before uploading it to my phone because i couldn’t find a layer id drawn scribbles on so i could delete it lmaoo // i’m not really happy with how it came out, look for more than a quarter of a millisecond and you notice everything wrong with it. hopefully if i keep up drawing everyday i’ll improve.

i cant expect much from a second time drawing since like 4 years ago but i’m just disappointed. everyone else on here is so talented *cries /hj* i scrolled on scenemo-related posts on my tiktok feed until getting ready to go out. i didn’t plan on going out today, mostly because i thought i’d be sleeping all day, but i didn’t have the urge to go back to sleep so i tagged along to see some family with my parents. i got dressed into my dark cargo jorts [told you i’d be wearing these a lot] and my skinless shirt, as that and my silent hill shirt are the only ones that go with the cargos. i also accidentally forgot all of my bracelets, so i felt naked the entire time i was out. 11:20, i went outside with boris.

he was SO affectionate and spent the whole time i was out there circling around me while pressing his-self onto my back and then going over to my hand to nudge it, and prompt me to stroke him. he’s like this almost all the time but something about it today just made me more happy than usual. i literally couldnt stop smiling. like he was propped up on me that’s so adorable 😭. i must’ve looked crazy to all the people driving past though. i stayed out until 12:10 when i had to leave.

i went out to see my grandad at his assisted living facility, his daughter [my distant aunt], and my other grandad, of whom i didn’t know was coming until we got there. i listened to underoath and paramore during the car ride and we got there at 12:30. i was greeted by the care home’s cat and with my grandad [the one who lives independently] WITH LITERALLY JUST HIS FRONT TEETH AND NO OTHER ONES APART FROM HIS BOTTOM SET 😭 he talked about something to do with this when i came round his house not too long ago but i thought he’d have more than two?? just joking, he found it funny i was surprised too.

the care home had this outside music thingy on so me, my mum, and my mums dad sat in the garden while my aunt and dad wheeled my grandad down to our table. he wasn’t as unresponsive as he sometimes is today. it was clear he tried to make conversation and said a few things which were just so - him. [he has dementia and dosent usually speak/has little to no mobility to an extent/has been this way since i can remember etc. just tryna give you an idea of why this was amazing.] a few times he came out with like, full sentences, which was nice to hear. my aunt also gave me the can tabs shes been collecting for me. me and my dad left to go charity shopping [thrifting] at 2, while the others stayed. we went into at least seven/eight and in the third i found an evanescence cd RAA - such a good find. not even a minute later my dad pointed out an avril lavigne cd which i also took and bought.

i cant wait to play them both, i just need to find something to do while listening. i’m bad at just listening to music without another task, i end up focusing on my thoughts and not taking in or processing any of the lyrics etc. me and dad walked back to the home and sat with the others for a bit before my dad and aunt took my grandad back up to the living room area. to be fair it was getting colder and we had to head off anyways. he didn’t like the lift very much but they eventually got him into his signature chair around all of his housemates and i said goodbye to him. i gave him a hug and he kissed me on the top of my head without any prompt whatsoever, which was heartwarming. we starting driving back at 3 and i listened to gerard way on the way home before having not even a minute long nap.

we got home at 3:10 and boris was so happy to see me. he ran up to the car once we’d parked and meowed at me while lifting up his head for me to stroke it. i stayed outside with him and added the new can tabs to my tab bracelet. it was enough to finish it so i tied it off and it’s a perfect fit. its big enough to go down my arm a bit, but not big enough to fall off my wrist. at 4:50 i randomly sparked an idea to make an upcycled necklace with one of my favourite musicians on it. i didn’t have any pictures of jaime or chi that were small enough to fit on a bottlecap, so i resorted to a print of kellin quinn. my dad drilled holes through a corona bottlecap and once he was done i used mod-podge to still the picture onto it. i left it to dry on a book and went back outside with boris.

he came inside to sit on the table so i also sat there with him until around 7:20 as my phone ran out. while i was sitting with him however, i attempted to draw my killjoy oc again. its honestly embarrassing so i’m never letting anyone see it and i hope i neevr do again — but it’s a shame because i genuinely thought it’d turn out alright. in my room i checked to see if my necklace had dried [it had], doomscrolled on tiktok, and saved outfit inspo. this lasted up until 8:30 and at this time i got dressed again to try on one of the outfits in question, just so i knew how it looked on me so i can wear it the next time i do something.

the outfit was: [there’s a photo at the end but you can’t see a few things because of the lighting] a sleeping with sirens shirt, with a long sleeved burgundy shirt underneath it rolled up to just above my elbows. with my can tab bracelet, a studded single rowed cuff, a wooden bracelet, a string bracelet consisting of lots of shades of blue, an earth colour schemed crystal ball bracelet, ripped skinny jeans, and a sleeping with sirens band bracelet. after taking photos for journal reference and so i don’t forget anything when i wear it, i found a plain black zip up jacket. i took a few pins off my backpack and added them to the pockets and neck piece/line.

they consisted of: a saw pin, a paper clip with the gay flag on [again, not even really because i’m gay - i just love the colours, a paper clip with a black stone/crystal sphere attatched, a pin implying taxidermy, a kellin quinn pin, and a pentagram pin. i tried it on, and maybe it’s just because of the general heat [although i tried it on at night and my room dosent have a working radiator or anything] but it warms me up almost immediately. which is great because i haven’t worn a coat since i started dressing alt and im always cold. i did all of the above while listening to my new evanescence cd — my favourite song from the album hasnt changed, its imaginary. afterwards i went out to the kitchen table and sat with boris.

my sister suddenly [i say suddenly, she’s always like this - which is why it’s so draining.] started screaming at the top of her lungs and jumping and punching the floor [the ceiling above the kitchen] and it was terrifying boris and archie. boris was already panicking, and then it set off the dog because he must’ve thought someone was dying. it was deafening. i went upstairs, frustrated, because she genuinely acts like she dosent share a house with anyone else and screams while gaming everyday; despite also being told to quiet down everyday. she also knows how loud she’s being, and how sound sensitive me and the animals are. anyway, i asked her to be quiet because she’s scaring boris [in an slight angry tone, because it was angering. but not like, anywhere near shouting.] and she replied with something along the lines of ‘no im not, and i don’t care.’

i told her to stop again and she shook her head and continued speaking to whoever she was playing a game with. i just said her name, again, implying for her to stop and she smirked and started waving at me. i said ‘what is wrong with you?’, she told me she hates me, and i walked off. then i cried for like 30mins because i felt guilty about saying that. i’m just really sick and tired of my cat, who lives here, feeling scared in his own home because of her. aswell as me, i also feel on edge here because of the whole screaming thing, and how angry she gets over it when she’s told to shut her door or quiet down. [shutting doors dosent make a difference though, as our house is from the 1800s and the walls are paper thin.] i carried on accompanying boris and made a couple of gerard way gifs at 11.

i went into my room for a split second and when i came back i saw that boris was sitting in corner beside the doorway of the kitchen. which i immediately thought was really weird, and then i saw that he’d been sick. i called my dad because i don’t know how to clean stuff like that up from our old floors and tried my best to comfort him. he wasn’t really having it, which makes sense because he obviously couldn’t have been feeling good. it was a hairball, thankfully [and unkthankfully, of course], most likely due to him licking/biting out lots of his hair because of the bugs from outside getting on him. my mum will be giving him treatment for it soon, it’s just always trouble when its applied, because he gets very agitated and one he runs away, your not getting another chance. and if you do get through to him and apply the treatment, you can’t really fuss him for over a day.

which is such an obstacle for me because i try my best to spend a lot, if not all, of my free time with him. he kept on wanting to go outside afterwards, so i left him to his own devices as he was still quite skittish over being around anyone. at 12:20 i was in my room after checking if he wanted to come in, when i decided i was gunna nap. i slept on and off for 10 minutes before my mum came back from being out with her friend. i napped again, this time on and off for 15-20 minutes. she came back once id woken up and let boris in with her. he straight away had something to eat at the bowls outside my room’s door and was purring. my mum told me that it was raining outside so i felt terrible that id accidentally left him out there while i slept. hopefully he managed to get under my dads car/the bit over the front door but he was clearly wet.

i attempted to fuss him and apologise. i spoke to my mum about why i think he’s not okay and then got the yes to coming up and doing the questions. on the way upstairs, boris followed me round the living room and onto the living room table. he put his head back for me to stroke it and purred again. which sort of gave me the idea that he was/is feeling better, which i hope with every part of me is the case. upon going up to ask the questions, my sister got into a huge heated argument with my parents over some update that’s coming to one of the game she plays tomorrow. she said that it’s being released at 4am our [UK] time.

my mum said my sister could put an alarm on her phone, but she said that it won’t wake her up and started begging my parents to wake up at 4 to get her up. they said no and she started screaming and everything. she finally went into her room after my dad looked it up and found out it’s allegedly happening at 9, so she got her phone back for 10 minutes to put on another alarm and tell her friend that the original time is most likely wrong. i started doing my questions after my sister agreed she wouldn’t disrupt them and everything would still be okay, even though she’s not supposed to be awake when i do things like this. mainly because of change in routine.

i started doing my questions and she came into my parents room and i had to stop. she eventually left after kind of verifying that didn’t mess everything up and i finished doing my questions. i actually managed to get downstairs at 2:25, so that’s also when i finished them. it took longer that it should’ve because of the really long argument and after boris being sick, i had even more reasons to believe he isn’t okay. and, my parents didn’t ask me to do them until quite late. i went on to pour myself some icy water, feed boris, do my teeth, and then say goodnight to boris.

i showed him what i’d done today and fed him his treats like always. he was purring like crazy throughout the whole time i was speaking to him which made me feel really relaxed. i finished at an unknown time [i thought i logged it but apparently not] and went to sleep at 4:10.

🗝️ — boris/my cat, archie/immediate family’s dog, questions [about boris]/i ask my parents questions about my cat to verify he’s okay + will be okay in the morning. its a compulsive thing and i’m hopefully going to be tested for OCD in the future.

have a good day/night O_o