#and said it's because she's so much more of a go-getter and believes in her competency 100%

[zaraomarrogers]

Always and Forever - 13

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem Reader

Warning: Angst

~*~

Peggy slammed the door shut behind her, her heels clicking on the wooden floor as she walked into the house. Crossing the hallway, she entered the kitchen where Eleanor was seated on one of the dining chair with a glass of whine.

Peggy threw her purse on the floor and came to stand in front of her mother who raised her eyebrow at her.

“I’m done playing your fucking games. I have no interest in being your right hand. I’m done humiliating myself, mom. I’m DONE!” Peggy yelled.

“This is not the first time Steve has said... what he said. You were there to threaten Y/n to keep her out of your way.” Eleanor said coldly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you be okay with Steve degrading me over and over... and for what? I don’t love him, I don’t want to live with him, hell, I want nothing to do with him, why would I keep mortifying myself, mom, why?”

“Peggy, you’re not seeing what I see, sweetheart. I’m doing this for you. Steve has no choice but to come back to you. I promise you that.” For Eleanor, it wasn’t the first outburst from Peggy. In past four years, Peggy had had so many fits of rage, it wasn’t the first time she wanted out from Steve situation but Eleanor had always calmed her down, bait her with the more money, fame and opportunities. But this time she didn’t know Peggy won’t be having any of her bullshit.

“I don’t want him to come back here for me. I just want nothing from him. Why don’t you see it? It was a very pathetic plan to begin with to separate Y/n and Steve and when you used me to do that, you made me play more games with him. Why mom? I don’t need you to make decisions on my behalf. I don’t want you to tell me what to do and what not.” Peggy’s voice was heavy with emotions.

“Y/n knows everything...” Eleanor gave a confused look to Peggy. “... she knows that I drugged Steve, she didn’t believe about my fake pregnancy either. She doesn’t have proof but.... does she need to prove what I did? I did what you asked me to, for what mom? I saw her after four years and you know what I really wanted to do..” Peggy took Eleanor’s arm in her grip. “...I wanted to hug her, tell her how much I have missed seeing her beautiful face. I just wanted to apologise to her. You made me hate her all my life, why? Why did you never let us get close? Why? Mom, why?” she yanked Eleanor’s arm, as she sobbed.

“You’re out of your mind Peggy, I never asked you to hate your sister. It was you, it was your stubbornness and go-getter nature that you can’t see your younger sister’s achievements. I just helped you Peggy, and you’re being ungrateful. I love you, I have always loved you and supported you. Look, where you’re now, one of the best Attorney’s in New York City. You’ve a career, power, money... all the resources that has everything on your fingertip, Peggy. What else do you want? Steve’s name will only accelerate your power...”

“Why didn’t you love Y/n like that? Why did she never get your support?”

“We’re talking about you honey, if she’d stayed here, she would’ve those things too.”

“You made me sent her away, don’t you remember that?”

“I never wanted her to leave, she was a coward and chose an easy out.” Eleanor spat.

Peggy just looked at her mother disbelievingly.

“You never loved her because you never wanted her, mom. I was old enough to understand that you and dad were fighting while you were pregnant with Y/n.”

“Your dad and I were fighting because he cheated on me....”

“Mom! Please! He never cheated on you. That was the story you told me and y/n when we were kids. But, seems like everyone in the law firm know that this is not what it is.”

“What does that mean? What do you want to say?” Eleanor flared up.

“It’s the other way around. You cheated on dad and he left. I grew up believing what you said, do you really think it’d stay hidden when I started working in the firm dad made.”

“Your dad wanted a second child, I didn’t. I was happy with you." Eleanor said plainly.

“That didn’t justify that you’d cheat on him.”

“We grew out of love, Henry and I bonded over the case and realised there were so many things common between the two of us. We were attracted to each other. My marriage with Daniel had gotten stale at that point. Why are you even interested in my past rather than you focus on your future.”

“Future? That you ruined. You put me in a meaningless so-called relationship with Steve, making it impossible for me to have a chance with the only man who was interested in me , for me. Not for my money, but just me.”

“That boy won’t give you anything....”

“I don’t want anything but him, I’m so sick of this money and power. I want a normal life where I have someone to come home to. Y/n was smart to leave this house, you took away my choices.”

“Peggy, you’re being emotional and stupid. We’ll talk about it when you get in your senses.”

“Which part of ‘I’m done’ you didn’t get, mom? We’re not going to talk about it. I’m not going to go after Steve and manipulate him. And if you push me, I’d tell him and Y/n everything myself. I don’t care what will happen after that.”

“Is that a threat?”

“No. Not yet!”

“Don’t you dare Peggy. I won’t let you destroy everything.”

“Oh you’ve no idea, mother!” Peggy didn’t stay to listen what the older woman had to say. She’d had enough of it. She’d realised long time ago that her mother had used her but she was only brave enough to break free from Eleanor’s manipulation just now. Something shifted in her when she saw Y/n after four years in the party, but she acted the way she was supposed to, like a classic bitch. That’s how she felt when Y/n ran away from there.

She didn’t want to go to Boston but Eleanor forced her to make sure Y/n knew who was still in charge of the situation. Peggy was curious to know as well about Y/n so she ran a little info check on her and was shocked to know that her little sister was a very successful career oriented single mother.

It was as clear as a crystal for Peggy that she had been making a fool out of herself all her life. She wanted, desperately craved for what Y/n and Steve had, a relationship, filled with love, respect and mutual trust. She thought she could have had it all if she wouldn’t let her mother control her life. On her way back to New York she had made the decision that she won’t be part of her mother’s delusional games anymore.

~*~

Y/n took her cup of coffee and sat down on a bar stool, her hair wrapped in messy bun. She yawned as she gently traced the outline of the mug. Malcolm had been restless the whole night, unable to sleep, he fidgeted and cried asking for Steve leaving Y/n in more distress than she already was.

She slowly rubbed her temples checking her phone for any message from Steve but there was none. She put the phone down in frustration right when Daniel came to sit beside her with his own coffee.

“Dad? Why are you up so early?”

“Didn’t sleep well last night.”

“I’m sorry, Mal’s been disturbed the whole time. I’m sorry, we kept you up.” She didn’t make an eye contact, clearly embarrassed.

“It wasn’t because of Mal, you don’t have to apologise for that, Y/n/n. He doesn’t deserve to go through this. Is he alright?”

“Put him to sleep at 4ish in the morning. He’s been asking for Steve, but Steve didn’t answer his damn phone. Finally fell asleep with all the crying, got a slight temperature.... I don’t know what is wrong with Steve...”

“Give him some time..” Daniel cut her off gently, “He’s as hurt as Mal is right now. Remind me of something I went through long time ago.”

“Dad??” Y/n looked at him confused.

“I couldn’t sleep because I’ve been thinking, I was once in Steve’s place. And I know what he’s feeling right now, like a total failure. Just try to check in on him.”

“Why’d you say that? What happened?” Y/n asked.

“It’s in the past, Y/n/n, it doesn’t matter now.”

“I want to know...”

“No you don’t, sweetheart. Let it be...” Daniel chuckled.

“Please dad! Tell me... you can share it with me. I have spent a whole chunk of my life without you, don’t cut me out now, please.”

Daniel sighed, “cutting you and your sister out of my life had never been my intention. I always wanted you two in my life but you know I had a very dirty and messed up divorce with your mother. She’d won the custody and put a restraining order against me. You were Malcolm’s age when it happened and you said something similar to what Malcolm had said to Steve...”

Y/n inhaled sharply, tears welling up in her eyes.

“.... you didn’t even know what you said but the pain and guilt I carried after that had only subsided when Steve brought you to meet me when you were sixteen, wearing a baby blue dress and white sneakers.”

“Dad, I’m so sorry, I don’t even remember... I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault, honey. You were a child, I had never blamed you. It’s the decisions that we as adults make that impacted our children.” He squeezed Y/n’s hand gently. “I will forever be in Steve’s debt because he brought you to me but that doesn’t mean I won’t kick his ass if he dare to hurt you and my grandson.” He stood up, kissing the top of his daughter's head, “Don’t forget to check in on him.” He said and left her in her own thoughts. Her phone buzzed on the table, she unlocked it to see an email from Pepper informing her that Steve was on sick leave for the week. She sighed in frustration, typing in a quick pissed off message to Steve that he had time to type an email to Pepper but he couldn’t respond to her messages and calls, she sent the message and went to her room to lie down a bit before she had to get up for work.

~*~

She had been knocking at the door for past fifteen minutes. She’d also rung the door bell couple times but Steve didn’t open the door. It had been four days to be exact after the incident and ever since that Steve had locked himself in his house, not answering calls and doorbells. Y/n had sent him numerous text messages, voice mails but he didn’t answer.

Out of frustration, she picked up the small flower pot that was placed outside the door and hit it on the glass of the door. The glass shattered on the floor, and the security alarm went off, Y/n immediately placed her hand on the door knob from where she hit the pot and turn it open. Carefully, she stepped on the broken pieces of glass and entered the house in search for Steve and found him coming towards her. In long strides he came near the main door, putting the code in the security system, he turned off the alarm and glared at Y/n who just shrugged her shoulders and took off her winter jacket and hung it in closet. As she walked into the house towards dimly lit living room, she heard him saying, “What were you thinking?” He walked behind her with his hand placed on his hips.

“Good to see you too, I’m so glad that you’re alive.” She spat.

Steve huffed and walked past her, seated himself on the couch. Even with the only source of light that was coming from the lamp, Y/n glanced around to see the empty take away boxes, beer bottles, few wrappers of crackers littered on the coffee table and an unfolded blanket spread on the couch. Blinds on the windows were closed and curtains were drawn. She heaved a sigh and walked to the window to open the blinds and the curtains. Bright sunlight shined through the glass windows making the room lit with sunlight.

“It’s a beautiful sunny day, I promised Mal to take him to park. Weather’s really good.” She came to sit beside Steve, seeing him in the light she noticed the bags under his eyes, his usually trimmed stubble grown into full beard,  and hair dishelved. Her heart broke seeing him defeated and shattered with hunched shoulders. Softly, she hold his hand in hers trying to get his attention.

“Steve?” she whispered. “Aren’t you going to even look at me?”

“I’m sorry I failed you and Malcolm. I deserve what he said.” His voice broke.

“No, no no no....” Y/n cupped his cheek and turned his face lightly towards her. He had his eyes closed.

“Look at me please, Stevie.” She let the nick name slipped from her mouth and Steve opened his eyes to see her face close and worried.

“No! You don’t deserve this. What Mal said was wrong. He was wrong, he didn’t mean it, Steve. He didn’t mean it. Because if you stayed five more minutes you’d  know that he wanted you. All he wanted was his daddy to be with him. He couldn’t go to sleep that night because he was missing you, he only wanted you with him. He didn’t know what he said Steve. He didn’t mean it, trust me....”

“....I trust you.” Steve whispered.

“Then why didn’t you answer my calls, you didn’t even see my texts. You didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

“I don’t know Y/n. I just don’t know. I failed to protect you. I failed my son, I just don’t know I just didn’t want to show my face to both of you. Before I came here, you and Mal were happy. I brought all the chaos with me. Peggy wouldn’t have come if I stayed away from you both. She wouldn’t have hit you if I wasn’t here. I don’t know what to do anymore.” Steve softly brushed her hands away from his cheek and got up to go in the kitchen. Y/n was quick to follow him.

“It’s me, I’m the problem Y/n. Can’t you see it? Everything that went wrong between us is because of me. I caused you so much pain. I wasn’t there for you when you were pregnant with my child, I wasn’t there when you gave birth to him, I wasn’t there when he took his first step, I wasn’t there when he said his first word, Y/n..... My son hates me and he’s right, he should hate me. I missed every important milestone of his life, I don’t deserve him.” Steve hid his face in his hands and sobbed. Y/n looked at him with tears in her own eyes, she knew what he was going through.

“Steve...” She didn’t know what to say so she simply walked to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, engulfing him in a tight hug. They spent few minutes like that, wrapped in each other’s embrace. Steve silently sobbed in her shoulder, her closeness relaxing him in ways only he knew.

“Mal loves you, Steve. He loves you very much. He got sad and upset when I told him that what he said had hurt you so much. He didn’t mean it.” Y/n slowly pulled away from Steve but still close enough to cup his face and looked straight into his ocean blue eyes.

“He didn’t know what it’s like to have another parent around all the time. It was just me when he was growing up. Dad and Bucky were there but they can’t take his dad’s place, right. For Malcolm, his dad is someone who’s just his, no sharing. And when you came, you brighten his whole world Steve. I’ve never seen him this happy, you filled the hole in his life.” Y/n placed her forehead on his, just breathing in each other’s warmth. She felt Steve starting to relax a little bit but his grip on the kitchen counter he was leaning against, was still firm.

“Ple – please don’t punish him for what he did, he’s very sensitive, I told you he feels everything, he just can’t explain his feelings yet. Steve, he was scared that you might not come....” Steve pulled back and looked at her. “... you have made yourself available to him ever since you have come back, I know its wrong but he has started expecting you to be there every time. I know its not possible, you and I both work, and you can’t follow a schedule according to him. You and I both need to work on that with him. And don’t say that it’s your fault...” Y/n didn’t let Steve say because she knew what he was going to say so she continued, “... he’s going to be 4 next month, he’s starting kindergarten in September, we gotta make sure that he knows that you’re not leaving him again but that doesn’t mean you make yourself available at every call he makes to you. It will take time and a lot of patience, Stevie but it’s worth it, don’t you think? I just want him to grow up with confidence that he has us in his corner.... that he’s got both of us, supporting him, loving him no matter what.”

Steve looked at her and gently took her hand that was cupping his face. He brought it to his lips and kissed the top of her hand. He nodded looking into her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for going MIA on you and Mal. I just couldn’t think of him hating me. It hurt so bad Y/n/n... but I promise I won’t leave Mal and you ever again. I didn’t know what to do...”

“It’s okay Steve, I can’t imagine what you went through and I’m sor –“

“Please don’t apologise, I’m not mad at Mal, you and him are my life, I love you both so much. And I’m willing to move the world for both of you. I know I’ve said this to you in the past, I need you to know that I meant it then and I mean it now. No apology would be enough for the pain and hurt I inflicted on you and Mal, Y/n....”

Steve’s blue eyes were red with tears and sadness.

“Okay, let’s not go down that way again Steve. I don’t see a point in this discussion right now.” Y/n gently rubbed his hand. He nodded in understanding and looked everywhere but her.

“How about you go freshen up? And we’ll go surprise Mal, he’d be over joyed.” Y/n said with a soft smile taking a step back to make room for Steve straighten up. He was leaned against the counter and Y/n was standing between his legs. None of them found it awkward or it might have been normal for them to share each other’s space so they didn’t bother.

“.... I’ll go take a shower.”

“Sure! Meanwhile I find something to entertain myself.” Y/n looked around the living room and instantly knew what she had to do.

“Y/n...”

“Hmm..”

They looked into each other’s eyes longer than intended, a wave of emotions swirled through Steve as he walked closer to her.

“Thank you... Thank you for giving me a chance.”

“Anything for Mal..” She said with a genuine smile.

“Anything for Mal.” Steve repeated.

“Can I hug you? Please?” He cleared his throat and she nodded. In two strides he covered the distance between them and engulfed her in his arms. He buried his face in her hair as he breathed in a smell of her shampoo. He let it calm his inner turmoil.

She closed her eyes as her head was placed on his chest, steady rhythm of his heartbeat gave her a familiar sense of security. She didn’t know why she felt safe again like nothing in this world would harm her as long as she was in his arms. They spent few minutes in each other’s arms, breathing into each other’s scent.

“Now go take a shower, you’re stinking Steve.” She pulled away from him.

“No, I’m not.” He protested.

Y/n rolled her eyes and pushed him towards the staircase that led him to his ensuite bathroom.

Y/n looked around the room once Steve left to take a shower, she started with cleaning up the coffee table. One by one she threw away the empty take away boxes and beer bottles in the garbage. Then she moved to kitchen, spraying swish on counter tops, she wiped the marble and repeated the same process on coffee table. Taking out the vacuum cleaner from laundry room, she vacuumed the rugs and couch, dusted all the cushions back on couch, folded the blanket and gave a satisfied look at her work.

“Steve?? How long are you gonna take?” She hollered from the kitchen.

“Coming... just a minute.” Steve replied back.

Out of curiosity, she opened his fridge, peeking a look at the items in fridge she thought to make a sandwich for Steve because she was sure that he hadn’t had breakfast.

She frowned at the rotten cucumber and salad leaves, after garaging them she start checking the few items he had in his fridge and to her amazement, ranch sauce and barbecue sauce were expired, packet of pepperoni which was sealed, had the expiration in two days.

Steve cleared his throat behind her, “ What are you doing?”

“Seriously? Steve? Why did you buy all these things when you don’t use ‘em? Veggies are rotten, sauces are expired and see this new packet of pepperoni is getting expired in two days.” She showed him, “Oh, the milk is also off.”

“You don’t have to do this. Actually, you didn’t have to do any of this....” He pointed to the neat and clean living room and kitchen.

“.... I would call the home service and.... and... I don’t eat much here...”

Y/n shook her head at him and threw away all the stuff she took out from the fridge. After washing her hands she looked at Steve who was still standing there, with dark wash jeans and T- shirt. His hair was properly combed and full beard had changed into light scruff. He was looking like model stepped out of a magazine cover, Y/n felt her heart flutter. She shouldn’t be thinking like that, she scolded herself.

Steve felt her eyes on him and looked at her only to caught her averting her gaze. Even with simple turtle neck sweater and jeans and her hair down in loose waves, she took his breath away. Seeing her in his house, in his kitchen doing all the domestic stuff, his heart clenched in his chest and longed for a life with her he had always dreamed of. Hell, he could’ve had it... the thought made him fist, nails digging deeper in the softness of his palm.

“What’s wrong?” Y/n gently touched his forearm. “ You don’t like it? Cleaning...”

“No, it’s not... thank you so much but you didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s no problem, really.” She smiled and passed by him to get her jacket from the closet. Steve followed her, they wore their jackets in silence. Steve took the keys and as he moved forward to open the door, stopping in midway he cursed under his breath. Y/n was close enough to hear that, “Shit!”. Broken pieces of the glass were still there, they both had forgotten to clean them up.

Y/n started shrugging off her jacket when Steve stopped her.

“I’ve got this. Give me five min.”

“It’s okay I want to help.” She went after him to take the broom and dustpan. He was fast enough to get the hold of the supplies and started sweeping the entrance.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.”

“How are you going to fix it?”

“I’m not. I’m just gonna have to call the repair team, they’ll fix it, don’t worry.”

“How long would it take? Your house would be unsafe.”

Steve chuckled, “I have the alarm system on, and it’s connected to my phone. I would know if something unusual happened.”

“Oh, ohkay!”

Steve made a call to one of the repairing agents and while he was explaining the damage Y/n just watched him pacing in the hallway. Steve glanced at her catching her staring at him and she quickly averted her gaze with heated cheeks. So much had changed in last four years but one thing she was certain that hadn’t changed was how her heart still skipped a beat for this man.

“Let’s go.” Steve said pulling her out of her thoughts.

“What’d they say? Are they coming today?”

“Nope. Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Umm, would you mind grabbing an extra pair of sweats with you?”

“Why?”

“Just in case if Malcolm asked you to stay, wouldn’t you wana stay?... I mean I understand if you don’t, I – I..”

“it’s okay, I have gym bag in my car.”

“We’re not taking your car.”

Steve sighed, “Okay, let me get it from the car.”

Steve pulled out the bag from his car trunk and threw it inside Y/n’s car as he came to sit in the passenger’s seat.

“You’re not gonna argue with me?”

“About what?”

“About not taking your car, breaking in to your house which by the way is your fault as well, cleaning up your house... are you mad at me? ” She put the car on the road.

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“Don’t answer my question with another question.” She pouted.

“No Y/n, I’m not mad at you. I’m just, I don’t know how would I behave around Malcolm without making it awkward.”

“He doesn’t know what awkward is, so just be yourself. He’d ask you if you’re mad at him, just say that you’re hurt, tell him how you felt. He should know what you really felt in that moment. It’s important as he grows up.” She said pulling into the driveway of Dunkin Donuts.

“I will try my best.”

“Don’t stress over it, he’d be overjoyed when  he’ll see you. Gosh, he missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed him too.”

Y/n smiled at him, as she punch the order in the screen and drove up to the window. The girl on the window handed her two iced coffee and one four cheese bagel toasted with butter, Y/n passed the tray and pouch of bagel to Steve and tapped her card for the payment.

“I would have made you breakfast once we get home but its almost 11 in the morning and we still have an hour or two in lunch, besides you need some energy to tackle our little firecracker.”

Steve chuckled, and took a sip from his iced coffee muttering thanks. He couldn’t dare to tell her that it was the first time in four year he was having iced coffee. He couldn’t tell her that it reminded him of her. Having ice coffee and bagel was their thing, a tradition they set for late Sunday morning breakfast or whenever either of them were stressed they’d go on a walk and have the iced coffee and sat there in silence enjoying the beverage.

Another ten minutes went by in comfortable silence. As they reached home, Y/n opened the door and immediately heard the little feet running towards her. She took Malcolm in her arms kissing his face and nuzzling in her neck, making him giggle. Steve was still at door, taking off his winter coat.

“Mal-pal, look who’s here to see you?”

She turned around for Malcolm to see Steve standing there smiling at them.

“Daddyyyy.” Malcolm squealed and ran into his arms.

“I sowwy daddy. I say bad wowd. Mama say I huwt you. I no mow say no bad wowd. I pwomise.”

“It’s okay bubba, it’s okay...” Steve engulfed him in a hug, kissing his face and hair. They stayed there in the middle of hallway for few more minutes.

“I was hurt but not anymore. Just remember, I love you bubba, I will always love.”

“You pwomise you no hurt?”

Steve laughed, “I promise.”

“I wuv you daddy. I wuv you loads.”

 

Rest of the day passed by in blur, with Malcolm making sure that Steve would play dragon with him, making silly noises and having bed sheets draped around their necks as super heroes, they created a mess in Malcolm’s room. Y/n had to intervene during meal time else Malcolm wasn’t ready to spare a moment to Steve. The father son duo went to park in the late afternoon and came back with chocolate stained clothes.

Dinner was lively and fun. Alice had cooked baked salmon with broccoli and crispy potato. It was Steve’s favourite dish and to everyone’s surprise Malcolm loved it too. Daniel and Steve lightly conversed over the meal but it was Malcolm’s energy and excitement to had Steve with him was keeping the mood elated.

“Mama, we bwing candies fow you. Daddy say mama be mad and look cute so give mama shoclates. Daddy and I wuv you mama.”

With puppy dog eyes, and innocent smile Malcolm gave Y/n candies and told him the conversation that happened between him and Steve.

“Mal-pal I told you no more candies. You’ll get a big fat worm in teeth if you won’t stop eating sweets.”

She was changing his clothes after finishing the dinner while Steve came back from the bathroom and leaned against the door.

“Bubba, did you tell mama that we saw a puppy chasing the squirrels?

“Mama, daddy and I see puppy, teeny tiny puppy.....” And he told her every single detail with actions of how puppy chased after the squirrel. Y/n and Steve didn’t remember when was last time they laughed this hard.

“T'mowow I go libwawy with daddy. You come pwease.” Malcolm said jumping on Y/n’s bed, Steve reached out to hold him but the little guy pulled him and he dropped on the bed.

“Okay, we’ll see.” Y/n said picking up the dirty clothes from the floor, glancing over her shoulder where Steve was having a tickling match with Malcolm, joyful giggles from Mal filled the room followed by Steve’s laughter. Y/n felt her heart full with the sound of their laughter.

She left the room with a smile on her face, dumping the clothes in laundry basket she heard a familiar voice from her dad's office. She peeked in with a surprised look on her face.

“Andy? When did you come?” She gave him a side hug.

“Nice to see you too.” He smiled holding her hand.

“Andy stopped by to discuss a case with me. He’s good to go, all yours.” Daniel told Y/n as he left his office.

“So...” Andy raised an eye brow with a smile.

“So??”

“You seem to have an eventful day.”

“Oh yeah! Malcolm keeps me busy and happy. Coffee?” she moved to the kitchen.

“Sure.” Andy came in behind her.

Their conversation flowed in with discussing work things to other stuff and whenever there was silence, it wasn’t a comfortable one. Either of them tried to keep the conversation going.

 

Malcolm was fast asleep the minute he hit the pillow. He was cuddled into Steve on Y/n’s bed. Steve smiled looking at the sleeping form of his son and checked the time in his wrist watch. It had been more than thirty minutes since Y/n had left to dump the clothes, he gently moved Malcolm to another pillow and stood up to go in search of Y/n asking her what’s taking her so long, since he was in the mood for coffee and some late night conversations. As he walked towards the staircase, he heard low voices from the kitchen. Instead of going down the stairs he peeked into kitchen, his heart clenched to see Andy Barber standing so close to Y/n. She was sitting on the bar stool as Andy leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips. With stunned face and tearful eyes he watched a simple kiss turned into a make out session as Andy’s hands moved over her back and she circled her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

He couldn’t look away, he just couldn’t avert his eyes. He didn’t know how he walked himself back into the room. He gently rubbed the left side of his chest feeling the unbearable pain run through his body. He felt his stomach churned and all the food he had consumed earlier was coming into his mouth, an urge to vomit had him made his way to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face but that also didn’t help.  

He came out and cuddled back into Malcolm as tears slipped through his eye and absorbed into the pillow. He heard the footsteps near the door and closed his eyes, putting his arm over them.  

Y/n came into the room after Andy left, a smile formed on his face when she saw Steve and Malcolm snuggled into each other fast asleep. She pulled the cover on both of them, lightly kissing Malcolm on forehead and nose, she glanced over Steve with a smile. After changing into comfy pyjama and t-shirt and turning off the light of her bedroom, she made her way to Malcolm’s room and settled on his bed. Taking out her Ipad she started working on some of her illustrations that had become her late night hobby. As she let herself indulged in her favourite past time, her phone buzzed on the side. She looked to see if it was Andy’s message but there was an email notification. She blinked once and twice but Peggy Carter’s name as the correspondent of the email didn’t move from its place. She touched to open it and as her eyes read through the words, a dreadful feeling began to settle in her bones. She crossed the threshold of Malcolm’s room and walked back in her, seeing if Steve was up, but she couldn’t tell if he was because his face was hidden in the pillow. She came to sit on the edge of his side of the bed and gently rub his arm that was underneath the covers but he didn’t budge. With a sigh, she went back to Malcolm’s room. Sleep was the farthest thing on her mind. She opened the email again and read it one more time. She felt her throat closing up. With Steve next door to her, why couldn’t she go and snuggle into him, why couldn’t she ask for some emotional support from him, he was right there, so close, yet, so far.

 

~*~

[redheadspark]

“do you want your good luck kisses” with benedict playing pall mall

Anon: Yay for another Benedict Prompt! Thanks Anon

Good Luck

Summary: The infamous Bridgerton pall mall was aways a site to watch, your in-laws always making a spectacle out of it.

"Come now, before we talk too much and we loose daylight!"

You were perched in your seat, under the shade of the makeshift tents out on the lawns of Aubrey Hall, the cooling wind made you feel a bit better as you were watching the family standing together, getting ready to play another round of pall mall. You decided to sit out this next round, feeling rather flushed from being out in the sun for a bit too long and needed a break from the rousing game. You knew hot to play, in fact you were quite recent.

But playing went the the Bridgertons was a whole other league.

Courting Benedict Bridgeton was a wonderful feet, the impish and lively second eldest child always kept you on your toes and makes your courting dates fun. He was always happy and a go getter, never letting a single smile falter or a bad idea stay for too long. You loved his creative mind and how he thirsted and craved to be a better artist, never settling for anything less. But with you, he seemed so free and more open to having his imagination run wild. The way he ran dead by you in what he wanted to sketch and pain, it made you agree with anything he says. Not only because they were great ideas, but he was just too handsome for you to say no to.

When he asked to court you, it was so east to say yes.

"Come on, who shall pick first?" Daphne asked with her hands on her hips. She was there with her siblings, along with Anthony's wife Kate who would never turn on multiple rounds of the game. You were next to Daphne's husband, The Duke of Hastings, while he was tending to his son on his lap.

"Don't worry, Augie. When you learn to play, it won't be from your mother's side of the family," Simon said in amusement as the pair of your were watching the Bridgerton siblings lightly bicker with one another. You giggled, looking at Simon with his young son in his lap. "What an uncivilized lot they are, are they not?" You asked jokingly.

"Hhmm, a brutish lot no doubt," He replied, though he paused as he looked at his wife with a soft smile on his face, "But they are quite the family," He looked over at you with a raised eyebrow as you were working on your stitching, "Do you think Benedict will propose anytime soon, making you a official Bridgerton?"

"And what, I pray tell, is bringing this topic on, Duke?" You coyly asked back, seeing him cock a grin and shrug.

"Just merely making observation, seeing how you two are rather close and very much in love," Simon explained as you grinned and almost blush slightly, "It's quite lovely to see,"

"I never thought I would see the Duke of Hastings having such a tender heart," You joked, keeping your eye on your needlework. You did think about it thought, if Benedict would propose to you. There was no reason for him to stray for you since he was always devoted to you. He was never one to be a player or going from girl to girl, not in the present. Maybe back when he was younger and he felt more like a bachelor, but he's matured since then.

Once he courted you, it was always you on his mind and in his actions. He treated you so well and made sure your needs were met before his own needs. Seeing his face light up as you walked in the room or when you danced with him on his arm at a ball or two, it made you truly believe in true love.

One of the first times you were introduced to his family was when they were playing pall mall at their home at Aubrey Hall. Benedict thought it would be the best time to show you off to his brothers and sisters, which later was your watching them be competitive with one another and arguing about who cheated and who won. You were amused to say the least, loving to see how close they were as siblings. Even with Anthony going nose to nose with Colin, and Eloise slamming the ball extra hard just to take the point from Daphne.

You instantly loved them.

You saw Benedict then walking over to you, his mallet in hand and a massive grin on his face as he cocked his head at you with a twinkle in his eye. You placed your stitching in your lap as he cocked his head over at Simon, "Is he being a bore to you?"

"Not at all," You hummed, though Simon rolled his eyes as he held his son, "Are you about to play?"

"There's still time to join if you wish to," Benedict reminded you, "Your aim is right on target with Anthony's, if I do say so myself."

"Sadly, my darling Benedict, I must decline and simply watch from the cool shade. Such a chore really," you teased, seeing him squint his face a you slightly, "Do you want your good luck kisses?”

"Well, yes if that shall suffice," He replied back smoothly, leaning down to press a soothing kiss against your cool lips. You loved kissing him, whether it was gentle in the open air amongst the lawns, or the deeply and intimately in the secluded hallway and out of site.

Kissing Benedict felt like flying, or winning at pall mall.

"Benedict, let's play! And don't scar our nephew with your kissing!!" Eloise hollered from the lawn, Benedict pulling away and rolling his eyes in the process while Simona laughed from the remark.

"I shall win for you, m'lady," He said in a cocky tone, you giggling as he kissed your hand once more before he walked away and back to his siblings. You watched with a dreamy look in your eyes, feeling your heart swell from not just watching Benedict and see how happy he was, but simply feeling the love he had for you within you and through you.

If only you knew the ring he had stored in his jacket pocket, waiting for him to use when he would propose to you later that night after dinner.

The End.

[horizon-verizon]

What do you think of having made Helaena a dreamer in the series? I personally have mixed feelings about this, but one thing is for sure, giving him autistic traits was a mistake.

*EDITED POST* (3/19/24)

Disclaimer: I really don't know anything about neurodivergence or autism.

Here is one earlier post that I wrote about an issue with Helaena’s new characterization.

I used to think that it was nice to see some neurodivergent representation and that she got to be a little more than just the “plump” “fine mother” Gyldayn describes her. But it’s just that: “little”.

Now:

A) Dragon dreams are...dreams. Not visions you have while fully awake. So...

B) I think that it Helaena’s characterization suffers from the reliance on her neurodivergence. Neurodivergence does not equal personality. We don’t know her other than one small scene of her unintentionally(?) calling Aegon out, that she liked to play with bugs in her youth, and that she doesn’t like her own mother. These aren’t personality traits they are conviences for the greens’ image.

And the prophecies she speaks does nothing but tell us what we--the book readers--already know will happen, except for Rhaenys, but that was a scene that also never should have happened. We’re supposed to be wowed by how she is like Cassandra--the prophet who no one believes after cursed by Apollo for not sleeping with him or otherwise disobeying him. But using the futility of Cassandra’s story  element to express how “futile” and “tragic” the Dance was diminishes human choice more than i needs to--how Alicent decides to go after Rhaenyra and tries to get Aegon on the throne for power. Diminishes the activeness of human decision specifically for the people already having lost their ambition in the adaptation from the original story to the show:

Alicent is a uch younger sexual abuse victim (after years of fans having said that there was too much sexual abuse or violence esp against women in GoT) who apparently can't really reason as she would have in the book version and is more vulnerable to her father's machinations rather than her being a go getter herself

Rhaenyra's muster has also been greatly diminished

even Aemond's whitewashed and made less active by his killing Luke made into an "accident").

Then there is what another writers says about how we know what will happen to her. The show gives us the only neuro-divergent character and we know she’ll lose her son to Blood and Cheese, of which she obviously blamed herself for, driving her into a mad grief. That she will die a horrid, “suspicious” death. Her suffering will be used to generate more sympathy for the greens, while diminishing and ignoring that Daemon only uses B&C for what Aemond did to Lucerys. (Again, eye-for-an-eye is not moral or justifiable. I’ have said over and over that it is rather Aemond and Alicent’s fault for targeting Rhaenyra.) The show till then inadvertently act like the biased Maester Gyldayn, who also just refers to Helaena's death; the writer ponders over how her death inspired rebellion against Rhaenyra and seems to lean towards Rhaenyra actually doing it, even though it brings up the missing Larys and the possibility that he spread the rumors to incite the peasants against Rhaenyra more than they would have otherwise.

This cheapens her, especially because we don’t really get to see her apart from her Alicent, her brothers, and her kids. Nor do we see her interact with Aemond or Aegon like the two eldest boys do in episodes 6-9.

Rhaenyra’s story was about how women in Westeros would be pushed further back into practically subservient positions, and Daenerys was meant to be a penetration into that element. Rhaenyra is the story of how a precedent against women in power came to be; Dany is when a women pushes back and begins to regain that power.

So Helaena doing nothing more than tell visions that don’t matter while she stays in her room with her children and tries to get her own mother to stop touching her and knowing that she’ll die a horrendous death after long grieving and torturing herself for her son’s death just so she becomes some sort of Martyr for green-stans makes for a more disheartening picture than I’d like.

Oh, and it doesn't really make sense for her to know what's going to happen to not just her siblings and parents but her CHILDREN and not go to Viserys, the most prophecy-focused person in her family as well as the most able to actually do something to turn things around.

Dragon dreams in ASoIaF are fixed but they do not say that a specific person WILL do this so much as someone must do this for that to happen...unless they're Dany, Daenys, Rhaegar, & Aegon I.

[hopeshoodie]

(hoping i make the cue) what instances do you think were rigged by the producers? personally find it a little harder to believe that marisol/graham and ibrahim/shannon were the top two vote getters for the post-stick or switch recoupling (every other couple is vulnerable) especially when it’s implied that graham/shannon were pursuing them because they’re the most available. maybe that’s something that gets left on the cutting room floor in the edit? idk humor me

No but I LOVE speculative meta about what the producers within the world of LITG influenced (because the way we don't see any cameras/producers in-game indicates that LITG the game itself is the in-world Love Island final tv show, not the events happening live. Thus the islanders would've been subject to editing).

Maybe it's because I haven't seen the tv show, but I'm not too bothered by Marisol/Graham and Shannon/Rahim, because their couples are novel and fresh so I can see more attention being directed to them. Maybe that's not realistic. But I absolutely could be convinced that it was the producers trying to cull the cast and hone in on the ones that still had drama going on (which at least Shannon/Rahim do).

I know we're talking about season 2, but here's moments I think the producers fixed/forced across all the seasons (aside from the obvious 'brought in someone who was meant to be drama/tailored to a specific person's tastes' or 'created a challenge to cause drama')

Cherrygate in season 1. I don't think producers forced Levi/Mason and Cherry to kiss, but I do think they noticed the two were up on the roof alone and might've tipped off one of the other islanders to wake MC up, or woken her up themselves. Her walking out right when they kiss seems way too well timed to be organic

Obviously, they brought Lucy in for the drama, but I'm sure they encouraged her to play it up and to try and disrupt MC's couple

I don't think they created Roccogate, but something's always nagged at me- it didn't make sense to me that Hope was one of the two people who first whipped it up. Later, Hope isn't really bothered by what Rocco did, and it doesn't seem in-character for her to gossip with Priya to try to suss out the boys. She gets really excited at the PROSPECT of having a flirtationship with Lucas, and she’s clearly very pleased/excited to be desired by Jakub even if she’s not interested in him. Plus, when Rocco approaches MC to see if she’s interested, he literally just asks her and if she says no he drops it completely. Hope wouldn’t entertain much more than that as she’s fully in on Noah, so it seems weird that Rocco would come onto her more than he did MC or that she would characterize it as a big deal. So what I think happened is Rocco asked if he had a shot, Hope said no, she thought nothing of it and moved on. But then in the beach hut/interviews, the producers asked a bunch of leading questions about what he said and what her thoughts on it were, to the point where she felt like it was a bigger deal than she would've otherwise thought just because the producers focused so much on it. So then when Priya mentions it, it's fresh in Hope's mind to agree. But then it spirals out of control and Hope opts out of the conflict, to the producers' disappointment.

I think a similar thing happened with Rahim 'being closed off'. Maybe it's just bias because I like him so much, be he really doesn't give me 'closed off' in the first part of the season. Yeah he's quieter, but no more than Noah or Lucas. The producers just asked everyone about how 'closed off' Rahim is to the point where everyone just ran with it/self-reinforced when interacting with him

Someone else has done analysis on the Lurik elimination and I don't remember what the conclusion was, but I could definitely see the producers fixing that so that one of Lurik left (because they knew they were going to bring them back late-game and wanted that surprise reveal)

I feel in my heart of hearts that they absolutely made Hope's doll the worst baby doll to create drama. Making the only girl who's been adamant she doesn't like kids have a doll that cries the most? That's 100% a producers thing to do.

It's not really an event, but when you look at S2 there really... Weren't that many chances to get eliminated. I kinda think that was by design, because producers wanted to keep people like Marisol, Priya, Chelsea, and Bobby in the game, despite them languishing in couples that didn't work. I know logistically the game is more expensive if you have more art assets that get underused/eliminated, but I fix that by thinking the producers were strategically protecting people they thought created drama/entertainment.

[mystical-renaissance]

Marinette

Age : 13

Female

Is the younger sister, her older sister by two years is Brigette

Her father works at a bakery/pastry shop that he owns, his father (grandfather) works with him, even if he wishes he would rest. Her mother is a Lawyer.

Mari feels as though she’s been cursed or is just simply unlucky. Often getting herself in embarrassing situations or scenarios. Or breaking things, tripping over nothing, and if it's raining her umbrella will mysteriously not open and she will always get splashed on by passing cars. 

Her favorite animal is a hamster because they're so cute and tiny, but another is a ladybug. This is all because when she was six Mari tripped and fell down the stairs of course getting injured Brigette trying to make her sister feel better gave her a ladybug charm bracelet of hers and told her that ladybugs are said to bring good luck and good fortune. Plus in Chinese culture red is said to be a lucky color. After that Mari was obsessed with ladybugs not so much for the color red but pink which is technically a shade of red so it counts ( not really).  

She still wears the charmed bracelet to this day. And now it’s possessed by a magical Ladybug creature that turns her into the hero ladybug. 

She has a childhood best friend her name is Alya

Mari has a dream of being a renowned fashion designer with her own brand, but for now she makes her own outfits that she doesn't really wear. Except for a jean jacket she customized and a pink pair of shorts. (only because she promised Alya). She’s trying to learn to be more confident. Baby steps are key.

She’s not really allowed in the kitchen of the bakery due to her being “accident prone” so instead she runs deliveries for her dad. Something akin to “Kiki’s Delivery Service” that’s just the vibe I get probably due to how Mari's dad is built so dramatically which reminds me of the husband from that movie. It also might be because they both bake. She travels on a moped to do her deliveries. 

When she turned 12 her parents made a promise that the girls could have their own rooms. Both girls wanted the “best room” , the attic space which was a huge space with a balcony. It was the ultimate room,  but since they both wanted it they basically had a mini war over it, going to the great length of even creating a PowerPoint presentation over why either of them deserve the room. Their parents, tired of their constant bickering, decided to pick Mari in the end due to her needing space for her fashion projects. Either way they both finally get their own rooms and the parents are happy that things are going back to normal, except for in the morning when they can hear Mari screaming at Brigette for hogging the shower. 

 Tikki is with Mari at all times until she transforms. Tikki hides as a stuffed doll if Mari’s family or friends find her. Tikki doesn’t really talk. She is the size of a kitten.

Marinette always tries to see the bright side of things and always carries a go getter attitude. Even if she thinks she's riddled with bad luck she tries to stay optimistic about things. Even if she trips for the hundredth time she will always get back up, clean herself off and have a smile on her face as if to say nothing wrong. But that’s not all true, she wishes that for once in her life she could do anything without embarrassing herself, hurting herself or others, and to not be known as the clumsy or accident prone girl that she is. She wishes for once she could have good luck, like the ladybug she so admired for that sole purpose. Good luck. To be confident and unashamed to be herself like Alya, never second guessing herself and being firm in what she wants and believes in like her sister. To not be bogged down by one's emotions and to truly be herself without the fear that she’s going to ruin things or break something. She wants to feel proud of her works instead of doubting her own capabilities. Something like her father. She just wished that luck was on her side and she could become her best self.  

All of her desires seem to come true one day when a fairy-like creature emerges from her bracelet. And seemingly granting her wish by turning her into a ladybug bug themed hero. Who can seamlessly conjure up good luck but also turn her into a dreamed version of herself. Something she thought was a simple fantasy is now reality. She can walk and not trip on her feet, she doesn’t stammer in her speech, she feels like she’s on top of the world and more confident than ever. She feels like a whole new person and someone she doesn't ever want to separate from. Even if she can only be that way for a couple of minutes. She wants to stay or at least keep ladybug for as long as possible, but how long could that last for before things get complicated and before  people get hurt due to the action of her selfish desire? 

Mari also has a small crush on her sister's friend Luka, but he tends to treat her as he treats his little sister.

Her favorite pastry that her father makes for her when she leaves for school is a Chocolate Croissant/ Pain au Chocolat.

[vakhiyamusings]

I Need To Do What?! - Part 4

Part 4 - The Other Kiss

Junta’s POV:

Junta was a firm believer of hard work. He knew that any goal he set would be achieved by working meticulously and persistently. People said he was lucky. Hard work looked like luck to an outsider. Very few people knew the amount of work he put into training everyday to be an upcoming star in baseball. He never minded the strenuous exercises and drills his coach put their team through every day.

However, lately he wished he had some more time to spend with Anzu. They were at the end of the school year and soon they would be applying for colleges all across the country. Junta had a baseball scholarship and the only reason he was dragging his feet by not choosing a university was because he was waiting for Anzu to decide. He wanted to be close to her.

While Anzu may not have romantic feelings towards him now, he strongly believed that if he stayed strong in his decision and became her close confidante, he would break down her walls. Junta believed in his power of perseverance.

Today was a miracle since baseball practice got canceled out of the blue. The Coach’s daughter had a baby and so the entire team was allowed to go home early. 

Junta ran to catch up with Anzu before she left. Perhaps, they could go out somewhere, just the two of them. Getting time to spend with Anzu alone was incredibly difficult. Tsukasa was always with them. He didn’t hate or begrudge Tsukasa for wanting to spend time with Anzu. She was difficult to resist. But knowing that another guy was planning on wooing the girl he loved his entire life was not an easy pill to swallow.

“Anzu! Wait up!” Junta called out as he saw her outside the school gates, waving to her friends.

Anzu saw him and smiled.

“Junta! Shouldn’t you be at baseball practice?” she asked in surprise.

“It got canceled since the coach had a family emergency. He was shouting about being a grandfather and dashed off,” he explained.

Anzu laughed and it made Junta grin. He loved being the reason for her smile. 

“That’s wonderful news! Let’s walk home together!” she exclaimed, hoisting the bag higher up on her shoulders.

“Actually, why don’t we go to the city? The exams are over and we haven’t had a chance to just chill,” he suggested.

Anzu chewed her bottom lip.

“You’re right. We have all been stressed out. Let’s take the bus. I have a few things I need to pick up,” she nodded decisively to herself and strode off in the direction of the bus stop.

Anzu was such go getter! He just had to follow her lead. Junta didn't mind it very much at all.

When they got on the bus, Junta hurried to buy the ticket ignoring the odd look Anzu threw his way. She was far too independent. It only got worse after her parents went overseas for work. Regardless of what she thought, Junta was going to make this outing a date.

They wandered through the streets together. Junta longed to hold onto one of her hands that was busy gesticulating as she firmly made some point or the other. Junta found it hard to focus. He used to be fascinated by the sight of her fingers even as a child. They flew across the gaming console with dexterity and precision. 

Such beautiful hands deserved to be pampered and primped! 

A bright pink store sign caught his attention. 

‘Maylene’s Beauty Salon’ was flashing in bold pink lights and they even offered manicures. 

“Anzu!” he cried, clutching her rough calloused hand.

“Junta? Are you okay?” she inquired peering at him and looking down at her hands clutched within his own.

“Let’s go get a manicure!” he said excitedly.

Anzu cocked her head in confusion. Ignoring his sudden urge to blush and duck his head in the sand, he stammered to come up with a response.

“You never take care of yourself, Anzu. You play video games everyday without caring for your poor nails and the roughened skin of your fingers. One of my friends claimed that a manicure was the best experience he’d ever had. Let’s go and try it today!” he exclaimed, trying not to sound like a crazy person.

Before Anzu could turn him down, he intertwined their fingers and dragged her towards the salon.  

Anzu was oddly quiet and when he turned back to look at her, she seemed to be in a daze. When they entered the parlor, the women working there seemed to be speaking an entirely different language. Junta was only able to get out the word ‘manicure’ before they were both ushered off to a chair. Beautifully stylished individuals swanned around them and grabbed both his hands. The next hour was the most surreal experience of his life. Everyone was rapidly chattering and once he got used to their chatter, he joined in. He noticed Anzu seemed to loosen up quickly and was having fun. He was so glad to watch her smile.

“Oh my God! You look so sweet while you are blushing!” cried the women holding his hand.

“You’re right! He is so precious! He has the ‘boy next door’ look locked down perfectly! Any girl would be so lucky to have him as a boyfriend,” another woman with bright pink hair sighed.

Junta’s cheeks were heating up under their scrutiny. What was worse was the comments were gaining more support from the other women - staff and customers alike!

“Does he have a girlfriend? I really hope he doesn’t!”

“Young man, my niece is about your age. You would be perfect for her!”

“A boy who loves manicures? Is that redhead his girlfriend? It’s so sweet that he endures it all for his girl!”

“I don’t think they’re dating. They don’t look all that loveydovey!”

“Hey, why don’t you ask him out? A sweet guy like him won’t turn down a girl like you!”

Junta caught Anzu’s gaze in desperation. 

‘Please help!’ he pleaded with his eyes.

The women around him were coming closer and he was getting totally freaked out. If he didn’t escape, he would be swarmed and he feared for his life.

“Junta, baby! I’m done! What about you? Can we leave?” Anzu whined loudly as she hopped closer to him. The women attending her were bewildered by her sudden absence.

“Uh yes! Let’s leave!” Junta stuttered out.

“That’s right! I don’t want to be late to our one year anniversary dinner!” Anzu simpered. The expression looked out of place on her face but he could see her seething gaze.

Junta jumped off the couch, ignoring the complaints around him. Anzu grabbed his arm in a vice like grip and steered him towards the counter. The women parted ways like the Red Sea. Anzu could be pretty scary when she wanted.

Once they left the fine establishment and were out of sight of the swooning ladies, Junta let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry I forgot our one year anniversary, ‘baby’,” Junta teased.

“Just shut up! I didn’t know what else to do!” Anzu yelled at him as she blushed prettily.

Junta chuckled at her bashful expression which infuriated her even more. Anzu tended to get rather violent if she was upset.

“Shut up, you ungrateful heathen!” she barked out, punctuating each word with a smack on his head. He dodged every hit but still…

Junta grabbed both of her hands and spun her back towards the wall, holding her in place to stop the fists of fury.

Anzu’s face was flushed and she was scowling at him. She looked so cute, all riled up! 

“Thank you, Anzu,” Junta spoke softly as he gazed into that simmering gaze. 

Junta then noticed the position they were in. He was so close to Anzu. He would probably never get a chance like this again. They were friends, right? He could totally do this.

Junta let go of her hands and held her neck gently. Anzu gasped at the contact.

Junta lowered his mouth, pressing it lightly against her forehead.

He wished he could stay like that forever. He could feel every shaky breath Anzu took, her gentle quivering in his arms. 

With much regret, he let go and moved back. 

Or he tried to.

Anzu held onto his waist, stopping him.

Junta gasped as he looked down at her. She was looking down as she put her arms around him.

“I wasn’t going to let those women lay their hands on you, you know?” she mumbled into his chest.

Junta carefully wrapped his arms around her.

“Thank you,” he whispered into her hair.

Time stood still as he held Anzu in his arms. He would treasure every moment of this embrace. 

This date was turning out to be a wonderful idea!

[sassa-fiske]

{ WHITNEY PEAK, 20, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER } Is that ASTRID “SASSA” FISKE? A SOPHOMORE originally from MANHATTAN, NY, they decided to come to Ogden College to study FILM & MEDIA STUDIES. They’re THE GO-GETTER GIRL on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance.

THE ESSENTIALS

TBD

CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS

Drea Torres (Do Revenge), Kim Schein (If I Stay), Quinn Fabray (Glee), Spencer Hastings (Pretty Little Liars), Cassie Howard (Euphoria - specifically season 2), Vanessa Clark (One of Us Is Lying), Georgia Miller (Ginny & Georgia), Julia Wicker (The Magicians), Monet de Haan (Gossip Girl 2.0)

TV TROPES

THE GO-GETTER GIRL, School Newspaper News Hound, Becoming the Mask, more TBD

OGDEN COLLEGE 2022-2023

MAJORS:

Film & Media Studies 

EXTRACURRICULARS:

Tumbler on the Cheerleading Team, Dance Team, Tennis Doubles Sophomore Class Board School News Producer & Editor, Running Club Member of Chi Omega

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Astrid Bilan Fiske 

NICKNAME(S): Sassa, Sas, Sassy (by her family, usually)

DATE OF BIRTH: november 13th, 2002

AGE: twenty

ZODIAC CHART: scorpio sun, pisces moon, cancer rising, scorpio mercury, virgo venus, capricorn mars

OCCUPATION: student at ogden college

HOMETOWN: manhattan, NY

NATIONALITY: american

ETHNICITY: white (unspecified) & ugandan

LANGUAGE(S): english

GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis female, she/her

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: TBD, but i believe bisexual

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

FACE CLAIM: Whitney Peak

HEIGHT: 5′4″

EYE COLOR: dark brown

HAIR COLOR + STYLE: TBD

ACCENT + INTENSITY: TBD

TATTOO(S): TBD

SCAR(S): TBD

PIERCING(S): TBD

GLASSES: TBD

CLOTHING STYLE: TBD

PERSONALITY

MBTI TYPE: INFP

POSITIVE TRAITS: intuitive, creative, sensitive, observant, analytical, kind, patient, determined, confident, mysterious, perceptive, loyal, passionate

NEGATIVE TRAITS: ...sometimes over-sensitive, relies on escapism, reserved, critical, vigilante, wary, ruthless, intense, blunt, rude

SKILLS: reinventing herself at the drop of a hat, trusting her instincts, being patient enough to play the long game

GOALS/DESIRES: to get a documentary accepted into sundance, that’s really...the end-all be-all for Sassa

FEARS: TBD

HOBBIES: TBD

HABITS: TBD

SMOKES? TBD

DRINKS? TBD

DRUGS? TBD

PLEASE EXPAND ON HOW THEY EMBODY THEIR CHARACTER TROPE: THE GO-GETTER GIRL

Sassa is The Go-Getter Girl because once she puts her mind to something, she does not rest until she gets it. She can be utterly single-minded when it comes to her pursuits, to the point of it becoming a detriment. Don’t tell her that though. She is all about discipline and exceeding expectations. This pressure is almost entirely self-inflicted, but she’s set on achieving her goals, and is dedicated to maintaining the image and work ethic to do so. …mostly. She does have moments where her put-together image cracks and she lets go of control, which is usually followed by a reinvention, a somewhat new Sassa coming out, though still one that is focused on her goals. 

expanded personality tbd

CONNECTIONS

connection page tbd

RELATIONSHIP TO GREER: Greer and Sassa went to high school together. While Sassa was a grade below Greer, and they didn’t run in the same circles (read: Greer was popular, Sassa was not), it was much like Ogden - you couldn’t go to their school without knowing who Greer Morrison was. Even those who stayed to the edges of the social scene, kept their heads down and focused on their school work were unable to miss the glow from The Golden Girl. 

IC QUESTION: “You wouldn’t have wanted Greer to disappear, would you?”

 Sassa looked up at the cop with an arch of her eyebrows, a short, firm shake of her head her first answer. “Would anyone really want that?” she asked, a wrinkle appearing in the middle of her forehead. “I know that people are all about the fetishization of true crime right now, but rubbernecking it is different from wanting to be apart of it,” she said. Even as she said it, she realized how wrong she was. Of course some people would want to find themselves in the mimdst of a case like this. They may not admit it, but deep down, they would. “I’ve never really known Greer well, besides. We went to the same high school, now we’re both here...but our circles never really overlapped. We just co-existed in the same spaces. I’m not about to pretend anything more than that,” she said, shrugging up a shoulder with a puff of air exhaled. “There are so many people who can give you better answers than me. Sorry.” 

more connections tbd

BIOGRAPHY

FAMILY:

family page tbd

SOCIAL CLASS: upper class

FATHER: TBD

MOTHER: TBD

SIBLING(S)? TBD

expanded biography tbd

SOME FUN FACTS

tbd

[feniverse-unfiltered]

Trigun college au notes I need to jot down before I forget: (As a note, these are the TriStamp iterations)

VASH:

BioMed grad student, in his 2nd year, he's following in Rem's footsteps (she's a biomedical researcher) but is focusing a bit more on the engineering/technical side of things. Did a minor in botany during undergrad

His advisors are Brad (on the engineering/technical side of things) and Luida (specializes in the neuroscience side)

He's well known on campus not only because he's a sweet and friendly guy, but also because he earned a bit of a reputation in his undergrad days after getting a bit too wild after some parties (he's a bit more careful about it nowadays)

He was in a car crash when he was 14, which is where he lost his arm. However he doesn't actually remember much about the accident

can and will sleep almost anywhere, has been found passed out in the hallway by the labs on multiple occasions. Admittedly it's on the couches, but it's not like they're actually comfy

in the same vein, can and will eat anything, even the terrible cafeteria food. Food is fuel, fuel is good (does have major a sweet tooth though)

Does a LOT of volunteer work, is involved in a couple of extracurriculars, and is on the university's intramural soccer team.

Rest under cut cause it got long

WOLFWOOD

Theology undergrad, in his 5th year cause he changed majors several times before landing on theology. If asked why he chose this as a major despite not being a firm believer he'll say it's just cause he wants to be the next big cult leader. If you continue to press he'll flippantly change his responses, so you're not going to get a straight answer from him (for example, "to spite the man upstairs", "cause he was bored", "to find the true meaning of life", etc etc). In actuality he's just always found the subject and history interesting.

You'll get a similar response if you ask him what he's planning to do after graduating (literally has no idea, thinking about maybe getting his masters, (may or may not be one of those "gonna stay in academia as long as possible/prolong the inevitable" type of students.... although the orphanage is going to be looking for a new priest soon so maybe this was actually planned all along))

Part of the EOM frat (Epsilon Omega Mu) ONLY because Livio is, doesn't care about it otherwise. Has the absolute biggest beef with the current VP (Legato, psych major)

Has a motorcycle, is not in campus security's good graces because of said motorcycle

Really good at bullshitting papers

Outside of EOM isn't really involved in anything, he did somehow get roped into helping out at the daycare center from time to time. The little kids absolutely adore him for some reason

Kinda hates the department head but it's whatever.

Not as well known as Vash, but still has a bit of a reputation

MERYL

Journalism grad, 1st year, wants to get into investigative journalism, maybe start her own publication. Did an accounting minor as well in her undergrad years

Advisor is Roberto, a somewhat washed up reporter/prof. He knows his stuff, and can be a damn good professor/advisor, but it takes awhile and some measured patience to get there. His teaching style is also a little unorthodox. Meryl finds him frustrating more often than not but she’s determined to see it through (she enjoys the challenge, and plus, despite his demeanor, he's great for networking, he knows a lot of people.)

Works for the school’s magazine, VP of the photography club, President for the Broadcast club, among other extracurriculars. A real go getter (nobody understands how she finds the time to do anything and how she's staying on top of everything)

straight A student, will get upset if she gets anything less than a 90. Absolutely an overachiever

More often than not can be seen running around campus for one reason or another other, always on the move and hustling

Milly is her roommate (she's an undergrad though, senior year) and her second hand on the magazine and in the Broadcast club

Met Vash because she was tasked with getting the scoop on "The Stampede" rumors going around campus, and met Wolfwood cause she was doing a report on greek life and bumped into him at a party.

Is a bit of a stickler for rules (theoretically), but like Wolfwood has gotten in trouble with campus security a couple of times, mainly for some slightly reckless driving, but also for getting into buildings/getting involved with things she wasn't supposed to.

NAI

Economics grad student, 1st year. He graduated undergrad, worked for a bit, then decided to come back to get his master's. Chose this path because it’s logical, lucrative, and he’s good with numbers (and has some Strong opinions on resource management. Has an interest in environmental economics, though that's not his main focus. May or may not be an eco fascist)

Advisor is Dr. Conrad, who is in both the biomed department (did a lot of research in his early days in gene therapy) and the school of economics

The only reason he’s at November is cause Vash is and he’s trying to keep an eye on him

Current "president" of EOM (Officially is just an alumnus/advisor, but basically does most of the presidential duties. He was president during his senior year, but they couldn’t find anyone this year willing to step up to the role so he’s standing in…. for now) Ironically he didn’t actually care for the frat in the beginning (only joined cause Vash expressed interest in joining but then ended up not staying), however leadership roles look good on applications so he stuck it out, since he's not involved with much else on campus.

He’s known as Knives in the frat and around campus cause of an incident in his undergrad years where someone startled him at a party while he was holding a knife and he accidentally stabbed them in the hand. The nickname also just kinda stuck cause he’s got such a sharp edged demeanor

The absolute pickiest eater, doesn’t understand how Vash can stomach the slop they serve in the cafeteria, much less enjoy it.

Is the one to drive him and Vash home for the holidays/breaks

[peepingtoad]

Minato agrees wholeheartedly. Bless the women. Simp for life.

impromptu asks || always accepting! || @crackuzu

Simp for life... now that's a motto he can get behind...

[shina913]

Scale, Part 3 | KSJ

Scale, Part 3

Definition: A beam that is supported freely in the center and has two pans of equal weight suspended from its ends; Something graduated especially when used as a measure or rule: such as (a) an indication of the relationship between the distances on a map and the corresponding actual distances; (b) a series of marks or points at known intervals used to measure distances; A graduated series or scheme of rank; A means of ascent

✮ ✮ ✮ Scale Masterlist ✮ ✮ ✮

Pairing: KSJ x fem!reader; appearances by OT7

Rating: Mature content (21+)

Genre: Rich boy!AU; CEO!AU; strangers to lovers; fluff; angst; smut (eventual)

Count: 9.4K+ words (a monster!)

Warnings: socioeconomic imbalance; character physical disability; excessive cussing; office banter; fluff; angst; pining; arranged marriage; slow burn; alcohol consumption; a character gets injured--but it's not super serious; Jin-Namjoon-JK in tuxes (YES, that's a warning)

Summary: Kim Seokjin lives in a world where money is no object as he is the heir to his family's lucrative company; OC is a scrappy go-getter who has to work hard at multiple jobs to meet her financial obligations. When their paths cross, they'll have to figure out whether they can find a balance point between themselves and their lives.

A/N: Things are starting to pick up! I appreciate all of the feedback and comments so far because it gives me a sense as to how far I can take this story. I have LOTS planned for these two...

As always: ❤️, comment, reblog, or send me an ask 📩. Would love to know what you all think! Thank you sooo much for reading!

Jungkook walked briskly out of Jin’s office and back to his in a bit of a panic. He digs his phone out of his pocket to shoot a quick text.

Can we talk whenever you’re free? Just text or call, please.

Shortly after, he gets an affirmative response.

It was half past midnight when he finally arrived at the door much later that day.

She opens it and immediately throws her arms around him. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I thought he’d never leave!”

“That’s okay. So uhh–you didn’t…” he treaded carefully, “You didn’t tell him anything, did you?” He asked after he entered her home and shut the door.

“No, of course not. You said not to and…I listen, every now and then.” She sounded disappointed and Jungkook had to deal with that fact. But he had made a good argument and he convinced her to wait until the right opportunity presented itself, preferably when Jin was emotionally stable.

He walked over and wrapped his arms around her from behind as she rinsed wine glasses in the sink.

“I’m really sorry to be a spazz about this. When I heard that you invited him over for dinner, I panicked.” He gave her a gentle kiss on her neck.

She leaned into his cheek and sighed. “I really don’t think it’s going to be that bad, Jungkook.”

“Haejin–it’s a little more complex this time…”

She turned around to face him. “I told you, we lost our window when he met with her. And now he’s stuck with his own portable storm cloud following him around again.”

“I’m sorry…I know that we should have taken that chance.”

She sighed again, which caused him to distance himself away from her while she leaned against the sink. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but–I feel like a whore.”

He scoffed. “Don’t say that.”

“No, I do! Like, you’re ashamed that we’re together.” She folded her arms protectively over her chest, her eyes were downcast.

“I know that we didn’t start off in a conventional way but I think that many things have changed between us in the last year. I’d think that was enough leverage for us to just come out with it.”

She used the term ‘us.’ Now he felt absolutely guilty.

“Jagi…I’m sorry. I never anticipated that he’d feel this way again. I was honestly just making sure that the company turned a profit first. I just wanted to prove myself–prove to your family that…I deserve you and that I can take care of you.”

“Yes, you said that already,” she said mumbled.

“Okay, look…” He closed in on her again and squeezed her upper arms. “We’ll tell your family after the gala. I promise.”

She looked up to meet his gaze with a hint of skepticism.

“I swear. We’ll do it together,” he assured her.

She gave him a smile. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he said back to her right before he kissed her lips. “So…you said you were going to show me your dress for Saturday?”

“Well, it’s not quite ready yet…but I can show you what I’m wearing underneath it,” she said slyly.

************************************

“Stop, stop! My stomach…” you clutched your belly as you tried to catch your breath in between laughs.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it!” Jin snorted then made a window-wiping squeaking sound. You realized that he was in absolute stitches, which triggered another round of laughs from you.

You sighed then wiped the tears from your eyes from all the giggling.

“Why did you watch that show,” you asked.

“I was curious! The preview made it look so interesting. And then the re-enactments started and I just couldn’t stop laughing. I thought, ‘YN enjoys watching this’?”

“Okay, to be fair, that was an old-timey true-crime series. Extremely outdated! They don’t do re-enactments anymore. Newer shows use real crime scene photos and intercut scenes of actual locations now to allude to the events that actually happened,” you tried to explain.

“Alright, alright…” he conceded.

“You just picked a bad one,” you said defensively. “Next time, text me for recommendations!”

He laughed and nodded.

It was late on a Wednesday evening and it was a slow night at the diner. You had been training a new-hire and showing her the ropes. It was great because you could properly teach her where everything was and she could get used to the menu and manners of operation without being frantic. At least she could properly pace herself.

Jin stopped by for dinner—slightly earlier than usual. He ordered some steak and eggs with a side of french fries. He seemed famished.

“I know the price doesn’t make it seem like it but we make the best steak and eggs here,” you said proudly after serving him.

Shortly after, Yoongi asked which of you and Jimin would like to volunteer to head home early but that one of you had to stay and to help the newbie. Jimin practically screamed saying that he would be happy to help train your new server.

You rolled your eyes at Jimin, who narrowed his and gave you a devilish smile while he glanced at the new girl.

“Just keep it in your pants, dude. This one’s actually good,” you whispered to him while you took your apron off.

Before retrieving your things from the back room, you sauntered over to Jin’s table to clear his very empty dishes.

“I’ve been released early,” you said as you picked up his plates.

“Oh. That’s uh—good? I mean…not good because your hours are cut but you can rest—“

“It’s alright. The last couple nights were pretty busy so I’m good to leave early. And you’re right, I could use some rest,” you said.

“I can give you a lift?”

Was it a question or a statement? He was really nice but you didn’t want to take advantage.

You hesitated. “I don’t want to impose—“

“You’re not. I’m just helping out a friend,” he says. “And think of it as a thank-you for serving me the best steak and eggs in the city.”

You acquiesced and he smiled as you walked away with his dishes. While you retrieve your things from the back, Jimin helps him settle his check.

By the time you step out, Jimin lets you know that Jin was waiting for you by the parking lot.

“I warmed it up for you,” he said jokingly as you entered the car.

You chuckled at his poor attempt at a come-on. Was it a come-on? Was it a poor attempt?

“So–home?” He asks, breaking you away from your thoughts.

“Hmm…I dunno yet. I’m usually out ‘til the wee hours,” you say noncommittally.

“Do you feel like dessert?”

His question took you by surprise so you turned to look at him, brows furrowed. Was this another come-on?

“...Because I know a place,” he winked.

And that’s how you ended up parked next to this bungeoppang cart, currently.

Just then, your phone alerts you to a text message.

[Taehyungie] 1:10AM: Just checked in with uncle and grabbed Tannie 🐶 He almost bit me because I had to wake him up and he didn’t want to leave because he was cozy 🤣

You chuckled after reading his message.

“Who’s that,” Jin asked casually. He didn’t mean to read over your shoulder.

“Oh, it’s Taehyung. He said that he just checked on my dad.”

“Is Taehyung your boyfriend?” He asked with his brows knitted.

You laughed out loud which he mistook as a defensive mechanism.

When you calmed down, you saw that his expression remained unchanged.

“Oh…no! Taehyung-ah? No, no. He’s my neighbor and practically my little brother. He works late, too but usually gets in before me. He looks in on my dad when he can or whenever he has to drop Tannie off…”

“And Tannie is?”

“His dog.”

“Ah…” Jin nodded after getting some clarity, his face visibly relaxing.

“Yeah…he works a lot of odd jobs and he’s a night owl like I am. He’s trying his best to break into the art world,” you said.

“Art, huh,” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

“What form?”

You looked at him in confusion.

“I mean, what kind of art does he do? Sculpting? Painting? Performance?”

“Oh, uhm–He does a bit of everything.” You’ve seen some of Taehyung’s work strewn about his apartment.

“But he mostly paints and does some sculpting. He’s focused on modern art but also influenced by the classics.”

He hummed. “My friend is an enthusiast and might have some connections,” he says casually.

“Really?”

“Yeah! Does he have a portfolio? I can introduce them–if you want?”

“Oh man–I’m sure he’d love that…And you don’t mind? I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of you—“

“You’re not, YN. Sometimes if you know people, it doesn’t hurt to ask. The worst thing they’ll say is ‘no’.”

You smiled. “I’ll let him know about it tomorrow. I think he’s really good. He just hasn’t met the right people.”

“Well…today’s his lucky day because I happen to know a lot of people.”

“Really now? I didn’t know that number crunchers were so social?” You were teasing.

“Our species have other interests other than being broody at diners late at night,” he chuckles.

“Touché,” you uttered.

“Listen…uhm–I’ve got a few things going on in the next couple days. I might not be able to stop by the diner for the rest of the week,” he says.

“Okay…” You were suddenly surprised at why he sounds apologetic and compelled to excuse himself from seeing you for the rest of the week.

“Jin–you…don’t need my permission or anything. I’m sure you have a life to get to,” you said.

“No, no, I’m–I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound–” he stammered. “Sorry, I just...thought I’d let you know that I’m not ghosting you or anything.”

“Uhm–alright. That’s…considerate of you.”

“It’s just that, my mom wants me to stop by to make sure things are ready for the event and…”

“Woah–is this family gathering like a big deal?”

He tries to make light of it and brush it off. “It’s a big deal to my father. And truthfully, my mom doesn’t make requests often so when she does, I do my best to accommodate her.”

“You’re being a good son.”

He chuckles. “I try to be. Sometimes my dad doesn’t think so.”

“Ah, I’m sure that’s not true. It’s our parents’ job to push us to do our best. In the end, they all just want us to be happy.” You gave him a warm smile

He nods lightly. “I know this is a bit weird to say out loud and we haven’t been friends a long time but–I really appreciate our talks. It feels refreshing to just share a few laughs and have a sincere, straightforward conversation without any false pretenses...I can just be myself and not have to worry about putting on a whole charade.”

His earnest confession takes you by surprise. You fought every instinct to read too much into it to figure out what he meant.

“I feel honored that you feel comfortable enough around me to be yourself. I get that it’s your first instinct to put up walls as a means of self-preservation–Trust me, I’ve done that a lot in my life but I realize that opening yourself up to vulnerability can help you heal in certain ways–”

“Yeah…I…fully agree with that. I’m sorry to cut you off,” he smiles.

You smile back at him. “It’s fine. I was getting too deep anyway,” you chuckled. “No, but–seriously. I’m glad that you feel that way. It’s cheaper than therapy, at least,” you joked.

He chuckled. “It is,” he nods. “And therapy doesn’t come with good snacks,” he says as he takes a bite of his bungeoppang.

Less than half an hour later, you call it a night and he drops you off in front of your building. After a quick shower and checking on your dad, you bury yourself under your covers.

Right before you doze off, your phone vibrates on your nightstand and you find a text from Jin.

[Jin] 2:20AM: Thanks again for tonight, YN. Samgyeopsal on Sunday?

You smile and text him back.

[YN] 2:21AM: Only if you let me pay this time!

[Jin] 2:22AM: Sure–if you can beat me with a better credit card toss 😅

You chuckled at his response and shook your head before nodding off.

************************************

On Friday afternoon, your head spun while you tried to keep track of all of the browser tabs that you had organized. It would have been funny if you were plotting some tech-takeover, but you weren’t. You were trying to keep track of all transactions and cross-checking them against the online application–which insisted on opening all new links in a new tab.

Just then, a call comes through your cellphone indicating an unknown number. You quickly save your progress before answering it.

“Hello?”

An unfamiliar voice greets you on the other line. “Hi, is this YLN, YN?”

“S-speaking. What is this about?” You mentally run through all of the bills due this month. Had you overlooked one? Get your head out of your ass, YN!

“I’m a nurse from City General Hospital.”

Shit! Your anxiety hits the roof.

“We are calling because our patient says that you are their emergency contact. Can you please confirm that you know a ‘Kim Taehyung’?”

Temporary relief, but it’s not for long. “Yes I do! What happened? Is–Is he alright?”

“A little banged up but he’ll be fine,” she says calmly.

“B-banged up?”

“He was involved in a cycling accident earlier today. Got a bit of an ulnar fracture.”

A fracture? You’re shocked as to how blasé this nurse makes it all sound. “Oh my god! Is he going to be okay? Will he need surgery?”

“Yes, he will be just fine and no, he doesn’t need surgery. We put a cast on him right now and we also gave him some pain medicine. He just can’t be discharged alone. Are you able to come and get him?”

“Uh, sure. I just have to leave work try to rush out there.”

“Great. Just check in at the nurse’s station when you arrive and we’ll bring you to him, alright?”

“Thank you! I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

You hang up just as Hoseok walks by your desk.

“YN, are you alright?”

“Hoseok, I’m so sorry but I have an emergency at home–”

He starts to look more concerned. “Oh no, is your dad alright?”

Hoseok knew the deal. A few years ago, when your dad had his last health scare, he gave you the time off even though you were bordering on negative hours. He spoke to human resources and pooled a few vacation hour donations from your coworkers–even allotting three days of his own vacation time to you.

You worked off every hour to repay them. You didn’t want to be labeled as the office charity case. Although you were extremely grateful, you still had pride and you didn’t want to slack off.

“Um, no, actually. My dad’s fine but it’s my friend, Taehyung. He got into an accident and I’m his emergency contact. I was wondering if I could take the rest of the day to pick him up from the hospital? I just need to get him settled–”

“YN, say no more. Go on ahead.”

“I uh–finished copying and sorting the reports. I can come on Saturday or Sunday morning to finish up–”

“YN–it’s fine, really. You’ve already given us a great head start. The team can finish up the rest. Go take care of your family, hm?”

“Thank you, Hoseok. I owe you.” You were filled with so much gratitude. You would have been completely lost if it weren’t for people like him who cared about more important things other than just turning a profit.

He shook his head. “Don’t even think about it. Go on. I’ll see you on Monday,” he smiled brightly.

******

You didn’t want to double-back to grab Taehyung’s car so you just decided to pay for a rideshare. Luckily, the driver was not a jerk and agreed to wait while you rushed in to pick up your friend from the emergency room.

Thankfully, all papers were ready to be signed since Taehyung apparently assigned you as his healthcare proxy—in the event that something more serious happened, you had the power to decide on the next medically-related course of action should he be too impaired to do it himself.

You made a mental note to discuss it with Taehyung whenever he was lucid enough for life-or-death conversations.

An orderly helped wheel him out to your rideshare, whose driver waited patiently as Taehyung gingerly got into the front seat.

You gave your dad a call on the way back to give him a heads up that you were going to be home a bit earlier than usual and that Taehyung was injured.

As soon as you arrive at your building, he motions to one of the pockets in his backpack, which you held, to retrieve his keys.

Shortly after you make your way in, your dad opens the door across the hall and Tannie runs out to greet Taehyung.

“Thank you, YN,” Taehyung slurred after you helped him settle on his couch.

Tannie immediately jumps up to him to lick his cheek. You immediately take him to avoid him jumping onto Tae’s injured arm.

“Sorry, he kept whining–I could have sworn that he could smell you getting out of the elevator,” your dad says.

“It’s okay, uncle. I might have to just keep him in his little carrier tonight,” he says.

“I can take his carrier and keep him for the night,” your dad suggests.

“That might not be a bad idea.” You turned to your friend. “You’re going to be out of it for a few hours. You don’t want to trip over Tannie in the middle of the night.”

He hums vaguely aware of what’s going on. You made a silent decision to take Tannie’s portable carrier back to your apartment after you got Tae settled further.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he says.

“Well, apparently, you’re making me decide as to whether you live or die.”

He chuckled lazily. “Oh…that…yeah, sorry. I was in a rush filling out the work forms and since you were the first person that I thought of, I just wrote your name down.”

You sighed. “Okay, well–we can talk about that when you’re a bit more alert. Do you need help getting changed?”

He slowly looked at his injured right arm–there was a gash on his knuckles that ran up the back of his hand and underneath the cast. He vaguely remembers trying to avoid a car that tried to cut him off at a turn lane but his bike had already been too close to the curb so he went up and over the concrete and tried to break his fall with his hand–resulting in the fracture.

“You just want to see me naked,” he said slowly.

You rolled your eyes. “Sure, Tae. That’s what it is.” You shook your head as he was clearly out of it.

“Guess this means you won’t be partying for a while,” you teased.

“No partying,” he repeats. Suddenly, his eyes bulged. “Oh shit! The party!”

“What party? I just said that you are in no condition to par—“

“No! The…uh…bartender,” he blurts out.

That sounded random. “Okay, now you’re talking nonsense. I think you need to sleep this off.”

“YN, no. The job! The rich-people party for Saturday,” he exclaims.

“Saturday–as in tomorrow,” you clarified.

“Yes!”

“Oh no…I can give them a call for you to say that you can’t make it?”

He shook his head. “It’s too late. They can’t find anybody else on short notice. But…”

You furrowed your brows. “But what?”

“But the catering manager knows you…from our last job!”

“W-wait…”

“You can take my spot,” he insists.

“Tae, you know I have no bartending experience,” you remind him.

“It’s easy! I know the other bartender. He’s cool—he can show you basic stuff for cocktails, how to pour, how to measure. The great thing is that they’re only doing wine and only certain liquors–no cocktails so you don’t have to mix stuff. But he can show you some quick stuff like a gin and tonic or something.”

You paused to consider this. Since you skipped out on a couple of hours of work at the office, the extra money wouldn’t hurt. You’ve called in a few favors from Taehyung and this was a good way to repay him.

You’d also have to talk to Yoongi and find someone to cover your Saturday shift.

“Please, YN? You can keep the tips,” he looked at you with puppy eyes.

“Tae, I’m not taking money meant for you…”

“YN, I don’t mind. You’re my best friend…the only real friend that I can trust. I’d rather you take it than leave it on the table.”

You sighed. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Yes! Thank you, YN. I’ll give the manager a call—“

“Oh no. You’re not making calls in this state. How bout just give me the number and I’ll call them,” you proposed.

“Okay, here.” He hands you his phone and you keyed in and saved the contact information. “Okay, got it. I’ll call in a bit. What about uniforms? Do I need a jacket or—“

“Just bring a white button-down and black pants and they’ll provide the vests and bowties,” he winces as he tries to adjust himself to a more comfortable position on the couch.

You grabbed some cushions and propped his arm on them.

“Are you sure you’re fine? I can stay until you fall asleep or get you some food?”

“I’ll be okay,” he says as he starts to nod off.

You walk over to his room and grab a clean shirt and bottoms and put them on the coffee table next to the couch. You also grabbed a couple of packs of ramyeon from one of his cupboards and a saucepan and set them on the kitchen counter next to the stove so he wouldn’t have to reach or bend over in case he got hungry.

You weren’t sure what time he would wake up so you wanted to make sure that some of his basic needs would be relatively accessible to him. You took Tannie’s carrier when you left his apartment and knocked two doors down over to Mrs. Choudhry’s apartment.

She was a sweet woman who watched her grandchildren during the day. When Taehyung was at a job and couldn’t look in on your dad, she was your next point of contact. You asked her to check in on Tae since she had a spare key to yours and his apartment.

When you arrived for your shift at the diner that evening, you asked Jimin if he could cover for you while you took the night off tomorrow before you asked Yoongi.

Yoongi then agreed and said that he could call one of the other day shift servers to come in since they’ve been asking about picking up a few more hours. It was a relief to know that things worked out perfectly.

This evening was busy once more as a tech conference was in town and the convention space was a block away from the diner. Fortunately, a few yuppies didn’t seem to feel like dropping hundreds of dollars at the fancy restaurants around the area.

You were just fine with that and it was good for business as it made up for the slow nights earlier this week.

For the rest of the night, you, Jimin, and the new girl served countless customers in business suits.

It was a good distraction from missing the other suit that you had grown used to coming through those doors.

************************************

Since the venue was on the other side of the city, Taehyung offered up his car so that you could get to and from there easily without having to brave public transportation. It was a welcome relief because it would take a long time and careful planning due to the distance and frequency of metro lines traveling to that location.

Taking a rideshare would have drained the base pay that you stood to make since it was a Saturday night and the location was in a touristy area…add a price surge to that? It was definitely out of the question.

You arrived an hour early before call-time for a quick briefing with the service team. Although Taehyung did his best to fill you in on the details this morning, you still wanted to show up early to check in with the catering manager to reintroduce yourself and go over your station and familiarize yourself with the space.

After getting a crash course on mixing and pouring drinks with the other bartender, you felt ready. And Tae was right—no specialty cocktails so you didn’t need to bust out the shaker.

The event was held at a fine arts museum whose structure was originally modeled after a French-style pavilion. It was located on a hill with sweeping views of the Pacific ocean.

The venue had a large atrium in which guests would be drinking and dining. It was also surrounded by large, concrete columns that covered the whole perimeter and at the center of it all was an illuminated glass pyramid—which was where a small stage was set up.

Since the museum housed many classic, invaluable collections, museum staff imposed a hard line against guests milling around with beverages or appetizers next to the art.

You finish setting up your station for the cocktail hour, just as guests start to trickle in. A handful of people start flocking over to your set-up–women in their evening dresses and men looking like stuffy penguins.

After a couple years of working the catering circuit with Taehyung, you both agreed that no matter how little or how much money someone had, folks will never say ‘no’ to an open bar.

************************************

Jin exited his front door and into a waiting town car.

He was dressed in a bespoke Valentino tuxedo and wore a black bowtie. His hair was brushed back but he let a few strands fall loosely over his left eyebrow.

The next stop was at Haejin’s before heading to the venue.

Since he lived half an hour’s drive from the city, he quietly checked emails throughout most of his ride.

As the car exits the highway, he is interrupted by a call from his father. It started off casual and mostly congratulatory about his company’s stock prices until it abruptly veered into a topic that Jin had hoped to skirt.

“Dad, I don’t understand why I need to arrive with her. We’re both going to end up at the same place anyway,” he sighed in exasperation.

He reasoned further, “Besides, we’ll be short on time if we make an extra stop, we’re already close to Haejin’s street.”

“Seokjin-ah, you need to get with the program. You have to get used to being seen out together in public,” his father warned.

“You and mom don’t even go out in public that often,” he contended.

“Seokjin–”

“I didn’t sign anything, dad!” He spat out in a louder tone than he had originally intended.

He then paused to exhale to keep his voice even, keeping in mind that he was speaking to his father.

“I asked for some leeway and you agreed. Now, if I can’t meet that deadline, I swear, I’ll do whatever you want and you won’t hear any more protests from me. But for now, I am respectfully declining your request and I will see her there just as I had originally planned. End of.” He hangs up in a huff.

Jin didn’t understand why Miya and her family were invited to this event. This was his family’s foundation. The Hwangs didn’t even make a donation–they were just invited because they were now affiliated with the Kims.

He was in a sour mood when the driver finally pulled up to Haejin’s building.

He barely acknowledges her when she gets into the car–only responding with a grunt when she greets him, all while he kept his head turned the opposite way.

She figured that there could only be two things that drove him up the wall like this…work or dad. Sometimes, when he was lucky, it was both at the same time.

As soon as she settles in her seat and the car drives to the venue, she tries to break the ice. “So I’ve decided to go commando today,” she casually announced.

He howled and turned his head towards her in horror. “Aaaaahh! Why did you feel the need to disclose that to me?”

She was in absolute stitches. Seconds later, he joins her in laughter–her giggle was like a spring melody to him.

“Sorry, oppa. I just thought that you needed a laugh.”

“Ever heard of a knock-knock joke?”

She chuckled lightly then turned serious. “Dad?”

He groaned and mouth slowly fell into a frown again. “He wanted me to pick up Miya from her place so we could arrive and walk in together.”

She rolled her eyes. “Nothing’s set in stone yet. Why is he being so pushy all of a sudden?”

“Hell if I know. I’m only doing this because mom asked but now he wants to pile on to it.”

She hummed. “The Hwangs are…" she inhaled sharply, "Trying really hard to ingratiate themselves into this family.”

“Not for long. Not if I can help it.” He turned to face his sister.

She raises an eyebrow in curiosity.

“I’ve got something up my sleeve. I just need–” he turns to look out the window again. “Time.”

******

Jin and Haejin pull up to the event right behind their parents’ limousine. Soon after, the door opens from the car that was in front of them and their father steps out and reaches out to help their mother out. That was the Kim siblings’ cue to step out of their car as well for a quick family photo in front of the building.

The mayor arrives shortly after and gets out of her car and onto the red carpet.

There was a small press corps there to cover the event since the mayor and two members of congress were present.

The Kims’ foundation not only made generous nonprofit donations but they supported political figures as well.

After posing for a few photos, Haejin spots the Hwang family arriving.

“Incoming,” she mouthed to her brother.

“Fuck. Cover for me, will you?”

“I’ll try,” she says through clenched teeth while she follows her mother’s lead, greeting Miya and her family.

“Seokjin-ah, where are you going,” his father says, looking puzzled.

“I just spotted a couple of my board members. I can’t just ignore them,” he calls over his shoulder while he briskly walks up the ramp to run for cover indoors.

The patriarch shakes his head then turns to his daughter. “Are you going to be this difficult when it’s your turn?”

“Oh daddy…” she sighed. “I’ll be much, much worse,” she finished with a grin before picking up the train on her dress and turning around to head inside.

******

Jin walks in and immediately is in search of a bar. He spots one closest to the entrance but it is inundated with customers so he looks around and finds the other across the room, closest to the museum entrance and heads there.

He orders a whiskey neat and downs it in one gulp.

He grimaces as the alcohol burns its way down his throat. “Can I get one more, please?”

Just then, Haejin walks towards him with Jungkook not too far behind.

“Jin, take it easy. At least eat something first,” she says as she flags down a server and presents him with a stuffed mushroom.

He stuffs his mouth with it and stops mid-chew, looking at Jungkook. “When did you get here?”

“Uh–I arrived an hour ago. I met with the event staff and said hi to a couple of board members.”

“Huh. Nice work. You didn’t have to get here early but thank you,” Jin says as a server offers him a fried mac-n-cheese ball, which he takes.

“No problem, Jin-hyung,” Jungkook says with a half-smile.

Jungkook and Haejin stand side-by-side awkwardly in front of Jin.

“Why are you guys being weird? Is it the whiskey? I’m stress-drinking,” he explains.

They chuckled nervously while Jin took a bite of the appetizer.

“Oh shit, this is hella good,” he remarked with his mouth full.

“Anyway–Jungkook! Have–uh…you said hi to my parents?” Haejin interjects.

“Uhm, not yet, noona,” he gives her a strange look.

“C’mon, I can take you to them.” She motions him to follow her. “See you later, oppa,” she says while she drags Jungkook away.

Jin shakes his head and flags down another server holding a tray of similarly round, panko-breaded appetizers. “Is that the mac-n-cheese ball?”

“No, sir. It’s fried salmon with a crispy onion crust. Would you like one?”

He considers it for a bit–fish and onions–sitting next to Miya?

“I’ll take two of those, please,” he says.

******

Your section is buzzing with clients but to your surprise, you’re able to hang with the pace. You have worked the diner after a concert and a sporting event at the city on a Saturday night so this is essentially a walk in the park for you.

“Hi, can I get a glass of red wine and a vodka tonic, please.”

You turned your attention to a tall, baritone-voiced man in a smart suit who leaned against the bar.

“Sure, coming right up!”

You grabbed the red and pour it into a goblet and while you did that, you were already taking a tumbler for the vodka tonic.

“You’re really good at that,” he remarked.

“Oh, god. I’m glad you think that. This is my first time bartending, ever,” you admitted after reaching for a lime wedge to put on the rim of the glass.

“Wow! Well–I couldn’t even tell the difference,” he says with a smile that flashed a dimple on his left cheek.

“Thank you,” he says while dropping a $20 bill into the tip jar, after you slid his drink orders his way.

“Have a good night and thank you,” you said with a smile, acknowledging the tip.

He turns around slowly then almost runs into a woman who yelps as she catches one of the drinks before it spills all over her dress.

“Oh my god, Joonie! You have to be careful,” she says softly.

“Sorry, love. I tried slowly backing away. I didn’t see you there,” he said apologetically.

“That’s okay. That’s why I wore black,” she giggled and gave him a quick kiss on the lips while she took her wine from him.

You chuckled as you briefly watched the couple walk away to mingle with the rest of the crowd until your next customer comes up to you with their order.

******

“I’m so glad you guys are here. I need help,” Jin says as he greets Namjoon and Ji-yun.

“Help how?” Ji-yun asks curiously.

“I need a human shield,” he begged.

Namjoon laughs. “Is it uhm–a certain perfumed woman?”

“My dad keeps asking me to take her with me while I talk to people. I can’t do that. It just ruins the flow. She doesn’t know anything about business!”

“What if you just led her towards the answers or maybe–just tell her to…nod and smile,” Ji-yun suggests.

“I just need somebody to distract her so that I don’t have to entertain her. I’m already sitting next to her at dinner. I just want to–delay my death a little bit.”

“Geez, Jin–might as well switch her over to another table,” Namjoon says sarcastically.

“Can I?” he asked seriously.

A moment later, the emcee gets on the microphone to ask all of the guests to promptly take their seats as dinner service is about to begin.

“Okay well–unfortunately for you, we have to take our seats now,” Namjoon says.

“At least you don’t have to parade her around,” Ji-yun adds.

The emcee then proceeds to say that the foundation’s founders will be taking the stage to present a donation to the city’s department of social services.

You serve your last few customers their drinks and tidy up a little. It was quite a busy cocktail hour. You glanced over across the room and saw your partner give you a nod, silently checking on you. You held a thumbs up to him, letting him know that you survived.

Jin moves through the crowd and finds his family’s table, right in front of the stage.

“Hi, Seokjin,” Miya says, as she brushes past him.

“Hi, Miya. After you,” he gives her a tight smile as he pulls her chair out before she settles on it.

He takes the seat next to hers and turns his attention to the podium.

She leans in closer to his ear. “Would you like to share a limo back to my place later?”

He sighs in exasperation. “I was kind of looking forward to a quiet night in,” he says.

“We don’t have to make a lot of noise,” she says in a low, devilish tone.

It made him turn to look at her briefly and grimaced, then turned to his sister, who was sitting next to him, and widened his eyes–a silent cry for help. She just sat there trying to stifle a giggle.

In the back of the room, you continued to watch the emcee deliver their opening remarks, thanking all of the sponsors, benefactors, and acknowledging the political figures who were present.

He then yields the floor to the mayor, who proceeds with her own remarks and prepared speech.

You learned that the Moonstone Foundation benefits many public programs but it mostly helps women and children in vulnerable situations. You were vaguely familiar with the foundation. When you were a freshman in college, they offered several scholarships to low-income students. You were one of the lucky ones to be awarded one for the duration of your degree, until you had to drop out many years ago.

“And now, it is my great honor to give our deepest gratitude to one of our city’s stalwart families who is also one of our biggest supporters of working families here. Without further ado, we would like to present the Key to the City to Kim Daesung and his family.”

A round of applause erupts along with a standing ovation from the room as the family make their way to the stage.

Jin stands to take Haejin’s hand to help her up while his father walks up with his mother.

You clap along from where you stood watching the family make their way, silently thanking them for granting you some financial aid during your days at university.

The mayor presents the symbolic key to the older gentleman who stands proudly next to her as the cameras flashed. He then beckons his family to stand closer for additional photos.

While everyone had their attention at the stage, you dug your phone out of your pocket to check for any messages. You open a text message from Taehyung and smile to find out that it’s a photo of himself hanging out with Tannie and your dad. You responded with a ‘stay out of trouble’ message and finished with a heart emoji.

Jin rushes off-stage for a moment as an assistant hands him a giant check to be presented to the city as another Kim family donation.

By the time you pocketed your phone, you looked up to see that everyone had taken their seats. While the Kim family remained onstage, its patriarch delivered a brief speech and introduced his wife and his daughter in the process.

“And finally, as a symbol of our continued support for the city and its efforts to help working families and women and children, our family is donating $1.5 million dollars to the city’s department of social services. Here to present the check is my son, Kim Seokjin.”

Your jaw drops and your mouth goes dry in an instant at the sight of the person who comes onstage, holding one of those blown-up printed, cardboard checks.

“What the–” Before you finish that thought, the catering manager calls your attention and says that they’re short one server and since they remember you from their last event, thought to ask you to help out.

“Uh–s-sure,” you said, still trying to get a hold of your bearings after seeing Jin up on that stage.

So this was the boring family gathering that he was talking about?

******

After the presentation, Jin and his family return to their seats as dinner service is about to begin.

He quickly excuses himself to head to the men’s room. As he passes the columns to head to the bathrooms inside, he does a double-take and thinks that he sees you at the far corner of the venue walking towards the service entrance.

However, he only sees a profile so he shakes it off and thinks that there was no way you would be at this event or else you would have mentioned it.

Then again–why would you mention it to him? He didn’t give you any specific details about tonight’s gala.

When he returns from the men’s room to take his seat, salads are about to be served table-side.

You see him take his seat, his back facing you. You approach the table slowly, hoping to serve the sister first then work your way around the table counterclockwise so that you can avoid him but your partner gets to her first so you have no choice but to serve him first.

The table is making some animated conversation. Somehow, Jin forgets that Miya is there because Haejin, Jungkook, Namjoon, and Ji-yun are there to keep the conversation lively.

It was a relief that Namjoon’s parents postponed their trip abroad–otherwise, Miya’s parents would have sat at the same table. Her father would not have missed the opportunity to monopolize Jin’s dad’s attention.

They were seated a couple of tables down. The mayor was supposed to sit at this table with them but Jin’s father made a last-minute request to switch her over to the next table to put Miya there instead.

At least 90% of his table was still family, he thought…and that was better than anything else. Although, he suddenly wondered, what if he had invited you? It would certainly make the rest of this night more bearable.

He made a mental note to check in after dinner service to find out if you needed a ride home. He’d be dead-tired but at least he’d crawl into bed after sharing a few laughs with you.

“Your salad, sir,” you said while your hand hovered next to him.

All of those shots that he took before dinner must be causing him to hallucinate because he could have sworn that he heard your voice–but it couldn’t be. You were at the diner!

He tilted his body slightly to make room for the salad dish being set down in front of him when he looked up to acknowledge the server. “Thank–”

“You…” he choked out, as the color drained from his face.

You gave him a curt nod and moved on to serve the lady next to him.

You smiled and acknowledged your accident-prone red-wine-vodka-tonic customer from earlier as you served his salad, his partner’s, and the older woman next to them.

After you empty your tray, you try to walk calmly (even though you were anything but) to the back room, to grab another set of plates.

As you pass behind the columns, under the shadows, tray-in-hand, you hear someone call out behind you. You barely registered that it was your name that was being called out.

“YN, wait!”

You turned your head around without stopping to see Jin jogging after you. Your heart raced as you tried to widen the distance between you and him…but damn your short legs, you cursed inwardly.

“YN, please!”

The other server looks behind you in confusion and you just nod along telling them that you’d catch up. You blew out a breath and turned to face him.

“I’m sorry, sir. I have to get back to work,” you said as politely as you could.

“YN, please. I–let me explain…”

“Explain what? That while you hang around diners late at night, you also occasionally hand out giant million-dollar checks to the city?”

“I mean…it’s not like that. It’s not my money, per se–”

“So your father’s money? Which is technically your money?”

He sighs heavily. “I’m sorry that this comes as a shock to you. I just…hope you understand why I didn’t tell you–”

“Oh no, I completely understand. You’re a rich guy who seems to like mingling with common people–I dunno…maybe so you can be in touch with reality? Is that what it is? Trying to keep yourself down-to-earth?”

“YN, that’s not why I’m friends with you–”

“Jin, I thought that this friendship was based on honesty?”

He opens his mouth tentatively to argue but decides against it. “Y-yes and believe me–I was being honest with you.”

“But you left this part out? What else have you lied about?,” you asked him point blank.

“I just…” he sighs, trying to collect his thoughts.

He was taking way too long to respond.

“You know what? Save it. I have to get back to work before I get caught unnecessarily mingling with guests. I’m doing this as a favor for a friend so–” You shook your head before finishing your thought and walked away just in time to flick an errant tear from your eye.

For the rest of your shift, you did your best to avoid his table. You managed to trade places with another server whose section was situated in the back of the dining area, far away from Jin.

At the end of the night, you collected your base pay from the bar. Taehyung requested to be paid in cash so the catering manager had already pre-arranged that and handed it to you in an envelope. They also gave you a little extra gratuity since they had asked you to help out with dinner service.

One of the kitchen staff handed you a couple of boxes of leftovers which you were extremely grateful for. At least your dad will have a good lunch and Tae will have some fancy desserts to snack on as well.

Jin wandered around the back of the museum under the guise of thanking the service and event staff. He searched for you, hoping to get another chance at a conversation with you to explain himself.

He pulls his phone out to call you when he is stopped by something that catches his eye behind some columns across the atrium. It was his sister, having a private conversation with none other than his trusted COO. He sees her stroke his cheek with her hand…then he catches it and places a lingering kiss on the inside of her wrist, making her smile.

He made a mental note to address that later. For now, he was focused on trying to find you.

Little did he know, you had already carefully slipped out the back, out of sight. With a huff, you decided to switch your phone off as it buzzed incessantly while you drove home.

************************************

It’s been a few days and you haven’t seen or talked to Jin since Saturday. He tried calling you Sunday to check if you still wanted to go to lunch but you texted him back with a simple ‘no’ and ignored the rest of his attempts to contact you.

“So…you’re saying he’s like a prince?”

Yoongi made a face at him. “No, idiot!”

“Right, but he’s filthy rich–like a prince,” Jimin says.

Yoongi scoffs then decides to ignore him. “Did you guys talk?”

“Not really. I was working. He tried but–I don’t know. I think I was in shock so…I just avoided him and left after my shift ended.”

“In shock because he had more money than he led you to believe?” Yoongi asked.

“N-no. I think I was mad because he lied to me about it.”

“Honestly, YN–’I make 7 figures a year and I’m worth 10’ is not really a normal conversational opener,” Jimin says.

“Fair…but–he could have at least mentioned it. We’ve had some pretty deep conversations already…and it’s not like I would judge him for being rich–I mean, shit, look at me…”

“Why didn’t you just Google him, YN?”

You give him a deadpan look. “Jimin, do you Google all of your friends?”

“Hmm…sometimes…” he says quietly.

“I don’t know. Maybe he has a valid reason for keeping it from you.” Leave it to Yoongi to find diplomacy and logic in every situation.

“I mean…fuck…I made all of those ‘financial struggle’ comments when we talked. Now I just feel really embarrassed. Was that why he didn’t tell me? D-does some part of him assume that I’d ask him to help me out or something,” you asked incredulously.

Yoongi and Jimin were silent, both contemplating why your new friend kept his social status from you. You weren’t sure if there was an answer for it.

You blew out a shallow breath. “Truth be told–I would not accept a dime from him even if he walked through that door, right this second,” you pointed to the entrance, “With a bag of gold.”

You then proceeded to organize the order slips pinned by the window.

Jimin made a face and lowered his voice. “Welp…I don’t see a bag of gold but he sure is coming this way right this second.”

You turn around thinking that Jimin was messing with you again but instead, you see Jin enter the diner. Speak of the devil…

You stayed rooted to your position behind the counter–slightly disappointed that there were a couple of vacant seats in front of you.

Jin stood by the doorway, unsure at first, then slowly walked up to the counter.

“YN, take care of the customer,” Yoongi says pointedly at Jin. “Jimin-ah, Tables 6 and 10’s orders are ready,” Yoongi mumbles.

“Got it,” Jimin quickly claims the dishes that were meant for your section. As he passes you, he whispers, “Don’t worry, the tips are still yours.”

“That’s the least of my worries right this second, Park Jimin,” you mutter quickly under your breath before Jin gets too close within earshot.

He sits on one of the unoccupied seats right in front of you and starts to fidget.

“Hi, what can I get for you,” you asked blandly, without meeting his eyes.

“H-hey, YN. I wondered if we could talk for a bit,” he asks quietly.

You paused to take in a breath. When you released it, you did your best to keep your voice calm and steady. “We already did that the other night. What else is there to talk about?”

“I just wanted to explain myself. And you haven’t been answering my calls.”

“With good reason.”

“Please,” he begged.

“YN, time for your break,” Yoongi calls out.

“I’m fine, Yoongi, I’ll take it later–”

“You’ll take it now before I get written up by the Labor Department for not granting my employees a proper break. I’m not running a sweatshop here.”

Just as you turned back to argue, he had withdrawn to the back of the kitchen again.

You turned to look at Jin, waiting expectantly–trying to keep his face neutral.

******

You told Jin you’d meet him in a minute after you grabbed your parka from the staff break room. You stood in silence for a few minutes out by the parking lot on the side of the diner. It was an uncharacteristically chilly night for this time of year.

You blew out a long, cold breath in exasperation. “Listen–I don’t have all the time in the world–”

“I’m sorry for keeping things from you.”

You stared at him for a few seconds. “You lied to me.”

He sighed heavily. “I didn’t, exactly. It just–it never came up.”

“It was still a lie by omission, Jin. Did you think that lowly of me? That I wouldn’t understand?”

“No, no,” he said adamantly. “YN–My life is…just a little complicated–”

“And you think that mine is simple?” Your voice rose slightly. “You seemed really keen on pursuing this friendship. And for a while back there, I thought that we were being honest with each other. Now I just feel betrayed.”

You folded your arms across your chest–already starting to put that wall up again.

“It’s like I didn’t even know you to begin with.”

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “My name is Kim Seokjin. I am the son of Kim Daesung, chairman and CEO of KimCorp. I own my own company, Moon Industries and we just went public two weeks ago with an IPO. My mom’s name is Myungjoo and she is the sweetest person I know. She also makes the best miyeokguk in the world and I'll fight anybody who says differently. Lastly, I also have a younger sister, named Haejin–I mentioned her to you before. I love her very much. She could be such a pain but I would do anything and everything for her if she asked.”

You eyed him carefully, letting all of this information sink in. You gently shook your head. “Why did you feel like you had to keep all of this from me?”

“I’m sorry, YN. That was not my intention,” he said sincerely.

“But why? You didn’t think I’d be able to handle you being ridiculously rich...just because I’m poor?" It sucked to say it out loud but--it was a fact.

“No...God, no–" he said that last bit forcefully. "It’s not like that–I…just think that money complicates a lot of things. I don’t know how to explain it–”

“Try,” you challenged him.

He sighed once more, rubbing his neck. He gathered his thoughts.

“When you first started talking to me–it caught me off-guard. I was kind of set on just being this sad sack for a while. Then you cracked this joke and I thought–maybe it doesn’t have to be this way. I didn’t know you, you didn’t seem to know who I was–I thought, what if I just wasn’t ‘me’ for a bit?”

“That doesn’t sound confusing at all.”

Fearing that he was losing you, he blurted, “I was unhappy, YN.”

He rubbed his face with his hands, pausing to collect his thoughts before he continued. “Being me has its perks but it also has some pitfalls. It’s why I keep my circle small–because it’s hard for me to trust people.”

Your face softened.

“You don’t know how many bullshitters I talk to day in and out. I can always tell…”

“Are you bullshitting me now,” you asked him pointedly.

“Not at all, I swear! Every conversation that we had? That was all me. The only thing that I left out was…” he shrugged nervously, “My net worth.”

You look at him skeptically.

“Look, I don’t want to lose you as a friend, YN. ”

“Why? You just said that you wanted to keep your circle small. Why would you want to be friends with me?”

“Because you keep things real. And I’m not saying this to patronize you. There are only a handful of people who level with me–and you’re one of them. You accept me for me–no ulterior motives, whatsoever.”

“And what makes you think that I won’t change my perspective now? That I won’t try to take advantage of you?”

He shook his head. “Believe it or not, YN–even though we’ve only known each other for a short amount of time, you don’t strike me as that type of person. You actually care about your relationships–unconditionally.”

You took a deep breath. Admittedly, you liked having him in your life. You were crushed to learn that he lied to you–but now that he seems to have come clean, all you saw was him. The regular guy who made dad-jokes and went fishing on the weekends; who didn’t mind dining out at hole-in-the-wall restaurants but most of all, loved having deep conversations late at night and into the wee hours of the morning.

“Well, I’m not here to serve as your reality check or whatever.”

“Trust me, I get enough of that from Namjoon and Haejin. I just…I really value our friendship…however brief it’s been. I promise you–no more ‘cloak and dagger,” he says.

That made you chuckle.

“And honestly? I just can’t stay away," he confesses.

To your surprise, your heart did a little flutter as you stared at each other silently for a few seconds.

“Then don’t.”

Part 3.5◥

Part 4◥

Taglist: @deepseavibez @shameless-army @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @twogyuu @jakepralta @arisud [open]

[matt0044]

Little Witch Academia isn’t Harry Potter.

That should be obvious but it doesn’t always seem that way for some.

So… I like Little Witch Academia. I like The Owl House. I especially feel that that former deserves a second season. Hint Hint, TRIGGER.

I do not like how they’re being pushed as “Harry Potter Alternatives” or ”I Can’t Believe It’s Not Harry Potter.”

Not one bit. Here’s why:

Little Witch Academia has more in common with ”The Worst Witch” where a plucky young girls learns magic not because of some prophecy but because she wants to.

Atsuko Kagari was not The Boy Who Lived who lived with abusive relatives but a Japanese girl with a good living situation coming over to the UK’s best magic school.

There’s no Dark Lord hunting her down. Most of her adventures revolve around her school life where it’s more of a metaphor for art school with theme of self-expression. Even then, the final battle is more of a race to stop a missile from kicking off World War Three thanks to Croix’s misguidance.

Hell, Diana is less so mean in a cliche school bully sense and merely looks down on her dorkiness. At least compared to Hannah and Barbara whom she’ll call off if they get out of line.

I mean, Lotte does remind me of Ron but only on surface value at that.

Luz Noceda is similarly a far cry from The Boy Who Lived himself. She too is a plucky go-getter that gets in way over her head in the usual hijinks. Unlike Akko, she picks up magic more prodigiously and is very genre-savvy with the type of story she’s in.

Additionally, the settling for the story is never limited to Hexside. Luz’s time there is often small scale compared to her adventures throughout the Boiling Isles. We have episodes about Eda’s curse and family situation. King becomes an author. Amity… well, where do I begin?

Each show may have surface elements likely influenced by Harry Potter or elements it popularized. However, their individual appeal cannot and frankly should never be boiled down to that.

Yeah, it can work partially in recommendations but I’ve met others who felt Akko’s antics dragged down the show. Some felt that the cartoony elements like with Sucy’s dreamscape were just not for them.

Look.

I get it.

J.K. Rowling isn’t just a problematic children’s book author. She is THE quintessential problenatic children’s author. She’s not just a TERF but THE TERF, one who has emboldened many in their irrational hate with her massive platform and clout alone.

Harry Potter is how she got her profit and is still making bank off of it. Just the other day, I rolled into a Barnes & Noble where there was a bold display of everything Harry Potter and the Wizarding World.

I remember promos on Cartoon Network a few months ago on a gameshow themed around Harry Potter for its twentieth anniversary. It’s still going strong even with Fantastic Beasts becoming a clunker.

So one can’t just vote with their wallet or not engage with anything Potter. They see it necessary to discourage anybody showing interest in HP or any fans sticking to their guns for escapism’s sake.

One such way has been to push another show with similar elements to HP and claim that it’s ”better” somehow. Many use awfully superficial points of comparison that don’t say much aside from, “Don’t read the ’TERF books.’”

You know those ”I want a show/character/whatever” posts you don’t much these days if at all? The ones often pertaining to representation of minority groups in media? They’ve gone out of style due to how vague they could be.

Yes, they may be true but they never go over how said elements are handled. A gay protagonist doesn’t hold up to scrutiny if they’re killed out and in a disgraceful manner to boot.

This is the same vibe I get from these recommendations for what they make out as ”Harry Potter Alternatives.” Little Witch Academia has especially been done dirty by this phenomenon.

More so than with Netflix. :P

The Owl House at least has a plethora of video essays and Tumblr posts lauding its praises, diving deep into what makes it special beyond Harry Potter comparisons. LWA, even putting Netflix aside, hasn’t been that fortunate so a lot of ”watch this instead of HP” rhetoric doesn’t sit well with me.

I don’t want to like a show for what it isn’t. I want to like it for what it is. I want to fall in love with Akko with how she breaks the traditions of Luna Nova. I want to see Diana lowering her barriers and totes falling for Akko’s habit of throwing caution to the wind.

I wanna see Amanda sneak into a boys only school and sword fight her way out of a classical witch hunt. I want Sucy’s dreamscape where Studio TRIGGER go full freeaboo with their animation style.

See? Now those are selling points.

I recommend Little Witch Academia not as a Harry Potter substitute like thus is some sort of dietary recommendation. I recommend it for those looking for an Anime that you might’ve enjoyed as a child, being in Netflix’s kids section no less.

It’s got nothing lewd for those burnt out of fanservice. Akko is a charming young lady who every Magical Girl slacker protagonist would admire, voiced brilliantly by Erica Mendez in English (aka Ryuko Matoi) and Megumi Han (aka Gon Freecs).

The animation is among Trigger’s best with some very experimental episodes if you know Yoh Yoshinari’s work. Look up: Akko's Adventure in Sucyworld for just a taste of how wonderfully weird it can be.

[ahtsumu]

long shots ; miya osamu

pairing: miya osamu x f!reader

synopsis: miya osamu is the teacher’s assistant for food chemistry i. you can’t stop thinking about him.

tag(s): college!au, slow burn, TA!miya osamu, grad student!reader, fluff, reader is a go-getter!! ; warning(s): profanity, suggestive themes, talk of insecurities and imposter syndrome ; wc: 5.6k

a/n: happy birthday to @starrysamu​! i love u. pls excuse any errors. i’ll weed them out later! btw this fic is not a sugar daddy au LOL

HIS NAME IS Miya Osamu and he always looks like he has it all figured out. Comes in every class with his black hair perfectly tousled, the sleeves of his dark button-up rolled to his elbows, a cup of coffee in one hand and the strap of that black messenger bag in another.

“He drives a BMW, did ya know?” Isla says in your ear one morning. Your only friend in Food Chemistry I gives you a pointed look before sitting back in her chair in the lecture hall with a smirk on her face. “Saw it this morning. Bet he’s loaded.” The two of you watch the subject in question walk across the classroom and settle in his seat at the table in the corner.

“Shut up,” you whisper with wide eyes. A grin–– far from innocent–– makes its way onto your face. “Imagine being Miya Osamu’s sugar baby.”

“He’s not old enough to be a sugar daddy.” Isla looks at her nails disinterestedly. “And that’s too many AUs in one. He’s already the TA, for god’s sake. This isn’t some shitty Wattpad novel.”

A light giggle slips out of your lips. “I can see the title already. My Sugar Daddy is the TA?!”

Now, if anyone had been listening in on your conversation, they would’ve assumed many things about you. The first being that you’re both gold-diggers. This is untrue–– at least, in your case. Isla, you’re not so sure about, given how your friendship only goes back about one month. But she tags you in memes on Instagram so maybe it’s as real as real gets. Their second assumption would be that you have a big fat crush on your TA. That one’s complicated, mostly because it’s true, but only kinda. It all started in the second week of school when Isla caught you staring at Osamu and slipped you a post-it note with both your initials encircled in a heart. And, because you’re shameless with a good sense of humour, you made a show of kissing it while she was looking. And thus began your meaningless but incredibly entertaining, satirical, co-written fantasy about Miya Osamu.

It also didn’t help that on the first essay you got back, Isla’s paper had been marked up with “are you sure?”s and “this is a jump”s, while yours had “excellent reasoning” and “insightful analysis”. You’d even gotten a little comment at the bottom: y/n, fantastic work. you should speak up in class more often. –– OM

But Miya Osamu doesn’t play favourites because the next week you’d gotten another essay back, this time with another comment at the bottom: y/n, not your best work. you could’ve done better by connecting your first paragraph with the second using grant’s reading. conclusion lacked punch, too. all the best. –– OM

Every time you’d read the words scrawled in blue ink, you’d felt a pair of eyes on you. But you chalk it up to Osamu being a careful grader. A good TA. Someone who cares about his students.

Isla calls bullshit on that. You’re not really sure how to feel about her stance.

The classroom door opens and shuts again. You don’t have to look at your phone to know that it’s nine on the dot. Instead, you and Isla straighten your backs, pull out your notebooks, and focus. Your no-nonsense professor says “good morning” in her usual perky manner before jumping right into her keynote presentation.

“Did you all find the reading okay?” Professor Lee asks an hour into the lecture.

A chorus of “yes”s fill the air. You bite your lip, wondering if revealing that you didn’t understand shit will out you as the class idiot. Or maybe your silence is telling enough–– maybe the people in the seats beside you have noticed the grimace on your face and are having thoughts like ‘gee whiz, am I glad I’m not dumb like her’. Heat rushes to your cheeks. Sometimes you really wonder if you’re smart enough to be here. Occurrences like these do nothing to dispel your insecurities.

You vaguely hear her ask something like, “Any thoughts about the reading?” It’s not that you’re actually dumb. It’s just that this class is ridiculously hard for an introductory course, even for a graduate programme. From the start of the semester til now, fifteen people have dropped the class. There’s just twenty of you left. Guess a ridiculously hot TA can’t save a course’s drop-rate.

Before you can make your mind up on what to say, your professor moves on from her question.

As you look off to the side of the room for a break from your thoughts, you find a pair of blue-grey eyes pointed in your direction.

Everything about you, from the expression on your face to the way your muscles tense, makes you look like a deer caught in headlights–– even though he was the one caught staring in the first place. So maybe your shamelessness works on a scale.

Miya Osamu lifts one corner of his mouth.

And as if the exchange hadn’t happened at all, he looks back down at his laptop and continues typing.

The rest of the lecture goes through one ear and out the other.

“Everyone, I believe Osamu has something he wants to say,” Professor Lee says as everyone begins packing their bags.

The raven-haired TA slides out of his seat and sits on top of his desk. “Yeah.” Osamu clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. You notice how the muscles in his arms bulge from the movement.

“Whipped,” Isla mutters, grinning mischievously.

“Him for me,” you whisper back, though your eyes do travel back to his face where they should’ve been all along. Osamu catches your gaze and holds it. And then he looks away again.

“Now, I know you’re all Nobel prizewinners in the making,” he begins, garnering a round of snickers and giggles from your classmates. Most people say that cliques dissolve in college. That there’s no such thing as popularity amongst graduate students. That much, you agree with. But no one ever said anything about popular teacher’s assistants. Especially smart, attractive, witty teacher’s assistants like Miya Osamu. “But in case you didn’t understand the reading or would like to develop a deeper understanding of it, don’t hesitate to email me. I’ll try to host a review session all of us can attend.”

Professor Lee smiles appreciatively at Osamu, adding, “That’s a wonderful idea, Osamu. Guys, please take this opportunity if you struggled with the reading. I know eighty pages is a lot, but our next three classes are structured around the concepts in the reading and the mid-term next week will almost exclusively be about it, too.”

Well, shit.

To: m.osamu@hqu.edu

Hi Osamu,

I was wondering if I could get some help with the reading from last class. To be frank, I couldn’t make it past page 15 and I’m lost like a snot-faced five-year-old in a shopping mall on Black Friday. Sorry. Thanks in advance!

Regretfully,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: m.osamu@hqu.edu

no problem. is 5 pm tomorrow at jack’s okay? we start on the concepts from the reading next class so i want to get you up to speed asap. let me know. thanks.

OM

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

It’s five minutes to five when you pull into the parking lot of Jack’s Diner. The shiny, retrofuturistic eatery is a university favourite but the empty parking lot tells you it’s completely deserted right now (and rightfully so–– who eats dinner before six?). The black BMW parked a few spots from your car, however, says that you’re not alone.

Osamu’s figure comes into view as you reach for the handle to the front door of Jack’s. The twenty-six-year-old sits by himself at one of the bright red tables in the back, typing away on his dark grey laptop.

His head lifts up at the sound of the opening door. Osamu calls out your name and waves you over.

“Hi,” you greet with a smile, sitting down across from him.

“Hey.”

You look around before leaning forward on the table. “Is anyone else coming?”

“No.” Osamu sits back in his seat. “I thought about hosting one big group, but then I realised that it’d probably be stressful for the staff here.” He nods his head in the direction of the kitchen. “And I had a hunch that everyone would have different questions. Forcing everyone to review concepts they already know is a waste of time.”

At first, you nod. That makes sense. But then you furrow your brows. “So how long have you been here?”

Osamu blinks. He hadn’t expected you to ask about him. “Hmm? Oh.” He taps his phone to check the time. “Just a while.”

Quirking a brow, you ask, “And how long is ‘a while’ to you?”

“Seven hours,” he admits, chuckling lightly when he sees your jaw drop. “A lot of people had questions. They just don’t act like they do. Anyway, time flies. Really, it does.” Quickly, he clears his throat and sits forward. “So, about your email.” He grins. “Not sure if you meant it to be funny, but it was.”

“I’m glad my distress was entertaining for you. Do you TA just to watch grad students suffer?”

“Perks of the job,” Osamu says. His grin widens when you giggle. He’s never heard you laugh before and he realises at that moment that it’s really nice. And then that same grin falters. Gracefully, of course, and imperceptibly to you. But not to him. Is it okay for him to be… thinking things like that? About a student? But you’re not really his student since he’s just the TA. Right? Osamu ignores the weird feeling that comes over him and clasps his hands together at the edge of his laptop. “Back to your email. Can ya tell me what you’re confused about?”

Three hours and two Impossible Burgers later, you suddenly understand everything about food molecules so well that you wonder why you’d even been confused in the first place. But besides that, you’ve also picked up things about Osamu. As a person and not an idea. Not that you’d been actively searching for fun facts about your TA. But they’d stuck to your brain like gum at the bottom of a desk. He likes to slip sarcastic quips into a conversation every now and then. Eats burgers upside down (“The right way,” as he’d said, smirking). Is friendlier than he looks.

“You’re really good at explaining things,” you comment as Osamu shuts his laptop closed.

“Well, I kinda have to be,” he says. And maybe it’s the mental fatigue catching up on him or the fact that he’s real fond of the reason why he can break big concepts down into morsels but suddenly, the rest of his thoughts spill out his mouth like wine. “I have a twin brother with potato salad for brains.”

“Oh?”

And before he can stop himself, he tells you about Miya Atsumu, the pro-athlete you’ve definitely heard of but never gave too much thought. And then you hold onto the fact that they were both on the volleyball team and you ask of which school, so then he tells you about Inarizaki, the high school he attended, and then his decision not to go pro to go to college, and then––

“Sorry,” he laughs, cheeks turning pink. “You probably didn’t need to hear all that.”

“No, it’s fine,” you say–– and you mean it. “Your life is interesting.”

Osamu leans back in his chair. “Well, I’m sure yours is, too.” He holds your gaze like it’s the key to your presence. It’s an invitation. The kind that comes from people who don’t really know if they want you around but also don’t want you gone.

You take it.

Osamu shouldn’t–– he really shouldn’t–– but he wonders about the things you didn’t tell him the entire drive home.

Isla laughs when you tell her about what happened at Jack’s. You lay in bed with your phone next to you on speaker, your face turned on your pillow so that you’re staring out the window at the city below.

“He wants you,” she sings.

“Or he was just being nice.”

“Methinks not!” Isla giggles. “He’s intrigued, girl! You’re like that cute little new mystery in his life and he just wants to get to know you.”

“I think he was just being polite.”

“Or he’s crushing on you!”

“In your dreams.”

“You mean yours? Boo, you’re no fun today. Usually, you go along with the jokes.” Isla’s tone is playful on the surface but full of implications.

A few silent seconds pass. Yeah, you think, agreeing. I do.

“Girl,” Isla drags out the word in a high pitch, saying it like a scientist says ‘eureka’. “You’re not playing along anymore because it’s real now. You're actually catching feelings!”

“Am not!” you laugh.

“The Y/N I knew would’ve said ‘nah, bitch, he’s catching feelings’ and I think that says all there is to say.”

“Okay, I think he’s cute but it’s not a crush,” you concede, grinning. “And he’s the TA, Isles. It’d never happen.”

“Not while he’s still a TA in a class you take.”

“Isla.”

“Ask him out once this semester ends! Unless you’re chicken.”

“I’m not asking him out.”

“Knew you were––”

“Have you seen me? He’s asking me out.”

Miya Osamu walks through the door at eight-fifty as usual that next morning, dressed in his usual button-up, holding his usual cup of coffee. But this time, as the rest of his tall frame passes through the doorway, Osamu’s eyes subtly scan the faces in the lecture hall, lingering for just a while over yours. The corners of your lips turn up. You hope he saw that.

“Bitch!” Isla whisper-screams. The students sitting around you turn around at the noise and grin at each other when they realise it’s just Isla being… well, Isla. She shoos them away jokingly.

“What?” you whisper back.

“Care to explain why our TA was literally eye-fucking you?”

“That was hardly eye-fucking,” you retort. “Maybe like an eye-handshake.”

“Yeah, a naked eye-handshake where his thang is handshaking your––”

He does it again the next class.

And the next.

And then he doesn’t. Miya Osamu walks through the door to Food Chemistry I at eight-fifty in the morning in a navy blue button-up with a cup of coffee in his hand and looks through the rows of seats in the lecture hall for your face, only to find it missing.

He debates pressing the matter.

To: m.osamu@hqu.edu

hey osamu,

i wasn’t in class today because i’ve been sick with the flu (no big deal, just feel like i’m dying). a classmate sent me pictures of the slides from today so i think i should be fine, but is it okay if i email you with any questions? thank you very much!

miserably,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: m.osamu@hqu.edu

y/n,

of course. sorry to hear that you’re sick. let me know if i can do anything to help you. the midterm is next week. get well soon.

OM

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

“You writing that the midterm is next week did not offer me any peace of mind, by the way,” you say, spinning around in your chair as Miya Osamu enters your pod in the library.

He offers you a wry grin. “Hello to ya, too.”

“Was that an accent?” You thought you’d heard one at Jack’s, but you couldn’t be sure because it’d been so spotty.

Osamu slips into the seat beside yours and pulls out the laptop in his messenger bag. You catch a whiff of his cologne–– something spicy and woody, but clean. It suits him. “Nice catch. Yeah, I speak a regional dialect. Took me a while to smooth it over but it still resurfaces every now and then.”

“Why?”

“It just didn’t seem fitting for a PhD candidate, I guess,” Osamu explains, opening the slides from the class you missed. A day after your initial exchange, you’d emailed him again (with a much clearer mind) and asked if he could go over the slides with you in person.

i literally feel like i’ve been given the homework from russian lit, you’d written. except the russian has been translated to hieroglyphs and my task is to choreograph an interpretive dance based on the hieroglyphs.

Osamu had snickered when he saw your email. that doesn’t even make sense. must be the fever talking, he’d been tempted to write. But that strange feeling had come over him again, the one that’d screamed at him to keep it professional, goddamnit, so he’d played it safe instead and sent is eight pm at the main library okay? He hates that you’re getting a watered-down version of his personality. Osamu swears he’s a lot more interesting when he’s not, well, a TA.

“I think it’s fine,” you say, smiling. “I like it. It’s you.” And suddenly, you’re wondering if it’s okay to be complimenting your TA. If it’s okay to say that you like things about him, or if that crosses some grey, unclear line. Is it weird to treat your TAs like they’re your friends? It’s not like TAs are real teachers. Right?

A grin–– wide and genuine and almost excited–– grows on Osamu’s face. He rubs the back of his neck as his eyes flit over to the laptop screen. “Thanks. Really.”

You nod. But you feel like there’s more that he might want to say, so you wait.

“I got a lot of shit for it when I came here for my master’s, y’know. Not to my face, of course, but people would refer to me as ‘the guy with the accent’. A professor once said it made me seem crass. Said it’d hold me back in my career.”

“So you changed.”

“Adapted,” Osamu corrects. “It’s hard to admit but conforming is sometimes all you can do when you don’t have the power to change the system. Can’t really make everyone suddenly respect a dialect.”

“And after you’re finished with your PhD, you’ll go back to speaking in that dialect?”

Osamu looks out the window and smiles, probably imagining the plans he’s already made about the future. “Yeah.”

“What if you have to speak the standard language at your job? Like, your boss is all, ‘hey man, if you don’t speak––”’

“I’ll be the boss.”

“Oh?”

And with a little more prodding, Miya Osamu tells you about the restaurant chain he plans on opening after graduation, the slides about food additives left completely untouched.

The librarian knocks on your pod a few minutes before eleven to tell you they’re closing.

“Shit,” Osamu murmurs, running his hands through his hair. You’re still laughing about something he’d said before the librarian interrupted him–– one of his stories from high school–– and he thinks that you’ve completely forgotten that the reason you came to the library was to catch up on the material you were already behind on. And now you’re behind on that. But you look so carefree right now and, actually, you’re very pretty and you’ve got such a good heart and it’s a lot for him to process but he knows he just wants to see you happy a while longer. So Osamu just slumps back in his chair and laughs along with you.

He says your name as his chuckles grow softer. “It’s pretty late. How’re you getting home?”

“I’ve a bike,” you reply. It’s good for the environment and is a pretty solid form of exercise if you do say so yourself. Sometimes you just don’t feel like driving. 

Osamu presses his lips in a thin line. Would it be too much to offer you a ride? “I can drive you home. It’s really not safe for you to be alone outside, especially near midnight. You can get your bike tomorrow. Or I’ll get it for you.”

He drives fast. Not the unsafe fast that speed demons drive at, but the kind of fast where you know he’s got some edge to his character. You bring it up to him–– especially since it’s nighttime, for god’s sake, he could hit something–– and all he does is remind you how there are lamps as bright as the sun lining the entire road to your dorm. And the fact that you live in the least accessible dorm on campus.

“A twenty-minute drive?” he’d exclaimed when he saw the GPS monitor.

“A bunch of roads are closed for construction. It’s a ten-minute bike-ride because I can cut through campus.” And suddenly feeling a little burdensome, you’d added, “Sorry. I can still bike––”

“No.” He’d held his hand out in front of you, gesturing for you to stay in the passenger’s seat. “It’s not a bother at all.” Because it wasn’t. Osamu was… happy. Not that he’d admit that.

“So this BMW,” you start in a teasing tone.

Osamu smirks. “A gift.”

“Can I guess from who?”

“Sure.”

“Atsumu.”

His brows rise. “Colour me impressed.” He hadn’t expected you to remember anything he’d said about Atsumu. Or maybe he had but told himself otherwise to lower his hopes.

“I’m smart like that.”

He snorts. “Not if you keep distracting me and using your review time to…” hang out with me, get to know me, tell me things about you… “…goof off.”

You grimace. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

Osamu makes a turn down a familiar street. It dawns upon you that you're ten minutes away from your dorm and suddenly you wish he’d just make the wrong turn at the next intersection so that you could talk to him some more. It can even be about the health benefits of fish or the molecular makeup of kale–– you don’t mind. You just want to be around him longer.

“I think you’re really smart,” Osamu says quietly. “I think you’re not processing the readings because you’re distracted, or just not fully applying yourself. Obviously, last class’s slides are a different thing, since you were absent. But you really are smart. I’ve seen your papers.”

You bite your lip to hide your grin, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. “Thank you.” You look out the window, too jacked on dopamine to think straight. “I think I still need you, though.”

And that innocuous little sentence floats right out your mouth into the air, settling between you like a little wedge before either of you even realise it. Neither of you says anything. You marinate in the awkwardness before stuttering out a clarification. “To, um, to explain things. Y’know, since you’re, uh, so good at… explaining things.”

Osamu clears his throat and chuckles stiffly. There’s a slightly pink tinge to his cheeks. “Thanks,” he says, looking straight ahead. He can’t even look at you. Fuck. It’s so awkward. “I’ll try to keep… explaining things.” Fuck. What does that even mean?

A few uncomfortable minutes pass in silence. The night can’t end like this, you think. It can’t when everything else had gone so well. You still have to see him for a few more months. “Did you know,” you start, catching Osamu’s attention, “that Jack’s Diner has a location in Italy?”

“Oh?” he asks, making the final turn to the street where your dorm is. He actually hadn’t.

“Yeah. I asked the owner about the chain a while back. Have you ever been to Italy?”

Osamu shakes his head. “I’ve been to Paris, though. To see a friend. He’s a chocolatier.”

Now, if Osamu had been your friend, you would’ve said something like well, let’s go to Italy together, except he’s not. He’s your TA and you’ve been reminded that enough tonight. So instead, you say, “When you open that restaurant of yours in Italy, let me know.”

“That’s gonna take a while,” he laughs. He appreciates how you said ‘when’, though. And he tucks that little bit of confidence you have in him somewhere deep in his mind so that it doesn’t get lost.

“Isn’t that just seven hours?” you shrug, grinning. Osamu’s BMW pulls up outside your dorm and parks as he marvels at what you just said. You’re amazing. You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face your driver.

“Thank you for driving me,” you say, offering him a smile.

“Yeah,” he replies.

You stretch out your hand. With a puzzled look on his face, Osamu grabs it and shakes it. Firmly. You can’t help but notice how nice his hands are. Calloused for sure, but they feel nice.

“Goodnight, Osamu.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches you jog into the building before driving away. And it’s like you’ve possessed his car or something because the smell of your shampoo and perfume is everywhere and it’s too much but it’s also not enough at the same time and he can feel your palm against his as he spins the steering wheel to make a turn and for the first time in his life he doesn’t turn on the radio to fill the silence in his car. Osamu replays everything you said in his head.

But he especially thinks about that part where you said you need him.

Weeks melt into months. You turn in essays after essays for Food Chemistry I, each coming back with detailed commentary in an all-too-familiar blue scrawl. All your other classes go well–– extremely well, actually. You might just end the semester with a 4.0 if Food Chem doesn’t fuck you over. Isla still tags you in memes on Instagram. You still tell her about everything that happens with Osamu.

Speaking of.

“That’s the wrong equation,” he says behind your ear as he settles in the seat beside you. The sound of his low voice so close to your ear sends a small shiver down your spine. “You gotta switch the hydrogens.” Osamu knocks on your skull lightly. “What’s goin’ on up in there? Ya got somethin’ on your mind?”

You laugh and elbow him in the side. “Shut up, ‘Samu.” He’d told you during one of his office hours that he’d gone by that nickname because he had a teammate with a foreign name in high school. It sounded so cool, he’d said, grinning.

I think Osamu sounds pretty cool already, you’d teased.

And he’d replied, Let’s trade. I like yours, you like mine, why not share?

You teeter on the line between friends and less-than-friends and, oddly enough, more-than-friends. Sometimes you still play it safe. Sometimes he pauses between texts and real-time conversations, no doubt to scrap an instinctive reply for something more “professional”. Sometimes you say things that make him look at you with the ghost of a smile at the corners of his lips. Sometimes he calls Atsumu to scream about you.

“S’not a no,” Osamu points out. He’s dressed in a black sweater and grey trousers today. You’re suddenly reminded of how the weather’s been getting colder when someone opens the door to the university café and lets in a gust of chilly autumn air.

“Okay,” you admit, setting down the pencil. “I just… don’t really feel prepared for this next test.”

Osamu frowns and looks down at your worksheet. “Your process is correct, though.”

“Right, but… I don’t know. I’ve just not been feeling great about myself lately,” you laugh, looking down at your feet. “Food Chem’s the toughest class I’ve ever taken. And remember how I completely embarrassed myself in that class discussion last week? It’s not really making me feel like I belong here.”

“Imposter syndrome,” Osamu remarks.

“Correct-o.”

He says your name softly and puts a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Maybe you’re not the smartest, but you’re definitely smart. And you belong here. I’ve seen your papers. They’re just as great as anyone else’s and I don’t hand out compliments for nothin’. You’re gonna do some great things but ya can’t improve if you ever give up.” Osamu searches your eyes for a sign of your understanding.

There’re a lot of things you want to say but you don’t know how to put them into words. “Can I hug you?” you finally ask.

Osamu doesn’t even think about it. “Of course.”

He feels you smile against his chest and wonders if you can feel his heart beat faster.

Isla camps out in your dorm as finals come around the corner.

“I don’t understand shit!” she wails, throwing her notebook into the air.

“Isles, it’s okay,” you laugh, slipping out of your chair and walking over to her nest in the corner. “You gotta chill, dude.”

“Not fair! I didn’t have a hunk holding my hand through this course all semester,” she retorts, humour glittering in her dark eyes. “I had the Organic Chemistry Tutor and his accent’s cute enough but, girl, you had Miya Fucking Osamu!”

“You’re literally the worst.” You giggle and sit down beside her. “Tell me what you’re confused about. I’ll try to explain it to you.” The way Osamu does.

You text him that you’d channelled his brains later that night.

His reply comes seconds later. all you, einstein.

From: osamu

good luck on the exam

you’re going to kill it

To: osamu

would u like to divulge any… information about it? 😏 😏 😏

From: osamu

bye

To: osamu

i was kidding :(

From: osamu

fine. tip #1: write your name

To: osamu

not very helpful. 0/10

From: osamu

keep running your mouth and 0/10 is what your score’s going to be

i’m kidding

you got this, y/n

“Holy fuck,” Isla groans as you cross the street to head to lunch at Jack’s. “If you don’t see me next semester it’s because I’ve gotten my grade back and decided to drop out.”

“What would you do?” you ask, amused.

“Maybe move to New Zealand. Raise some sheep. Marry a hot, blond shepherd and fuck off to a cliffside cottage.”

“Solid plan.”

“What about you?” she asks.

“What about me?”

“Remember that conversation we had at the start of the year? About your man?” The two of you reach another red light for pedestrians.

“We’re friends. He’s not my man,” you laugh. Though it pains you to. Something about being Miya Osamu’s friend doesn’t really sit right with you, but you don’t know how to not be his friend. You don’t know how to move out of the corner you’ve backed yourself into.

“But you wish he were! And now you can finally hit him with that ‘Hey, Osamu, I’ve been madly in love with you since the start of the semester, wanna fuck like rabbits and then open that store in Italy?’ and he’ll be all––”

A throat clears behind you. With wide eyes, the two of you turn around.

Holy fuck.

Miya Osamu stands behind you with his hands in his pockets and an enormous smirk on his face.

“He’ll be all what?” he asks, eyes fixed on you.

Isla murmurs an excuse and starts walking on her own to Jack’s.

“Um.” You swallow nervously and shrink in your coat. “You heard all of that, right?”

“Yep.” Osamu grins. He grins. He’s grinning. He’s smiling like he’s won the fucking lottery and you honestly don’t know what to do with that information.

“So, like,” you look down at the sidewalk and kick at a pebble, “what are your thoughts about that?” God, you could die. “‘Cause I know you’re a TA and it’d probably look pretty bad and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you because I like you and it’s cool if we just…”

Osamu interrupts you with a laugh. “My thoughts,” he says, “are that I want to kiss you.” His fingers lift your chin up. “What are your thoughts about that?”

Well, shit. “I think that’s pretty cool, yeah,” you breathe, eyelids fluttering shut as his face comes closer to yours.

He tastes like mint. And his lips move softly, slowly against yours like he’s savouring the moment. And then you feel his hands snake around your waist to pull you closer–– closer because you both are tired of forcing the distance between bodies that want to be near each other, closer because he’s thought about kissing you just like this for so long, closer because you remember the last time he’d touched you was three days ago and it was just a brush of his fingers against your arm and that feeling of wanting more haunted you for the entire night. But holy shit, Miya Osamu is kissing you. He’s kissing you.

And then he pulls away. His dark eyes flit over yours. “I,” he breathes, “I need your course load next semester.”

“What?” you ask, disbelief written all over your features, chest rising and falling as you try to steady your breathing. You just kissed, for God's sake, and he's––

“I need to know which courses not to apply to TA for,” he grins, cupping your face in his hands. “Can’t be teachin’ in a class with my girlfriend as a student.”

“So we’re official?” you ask, beaming.

“If you want,” Osamu replies with a smirk.

You grab the front of his coat and tug him down for another kiss. “Hell yeah, I want to be official.”

[bigskydreaming]

So I got an ask wondering about what my usual depiction of Lilith is based on in Titans stuff, and how much of it draws on the books and from where, versus just kinda making a lesser known character be what I want. Which is an extremely valid ask, make no mistake. 

But now I’m deep diving into her earliest appearances again, because her initial depiction is 100% what every single thing I love about this epic drama queen is based on, and why I will defend that interpretation of her to the absolute death, THE DEATH SAYS I.....and I’m just.....kermiting all over again at what an absolute GEM they had with Lilith Clay right off the bat. Only to literally just water down her character more and more each time they brought her back after time spent in comics Limbo. 

To the point where it really doesn’t shock me that my take on Lilith comes out of left field for a lot of people who have only read Lilith starting in the 90s onward. Because I feel like past a certain point new writers literally just looked at this red-headed psychic and said “This is a Jean Grey” but also their knowledge of Jean Grey was solely limited to the 90′s X-Men Animated cartoon where all the show usually gave Jean to work with was lots of scenes shouting “Scoooooott” and dramatically fainting a lot.

But original recipe Lilith just has so much FLAVOR. Like this is the girl who after years of seeing the Teen Titans exist as like, just the same five teens known as the respective sidekicks to five of the world’s most famous heroes and never showing a hint they wanted to expand beyond that...she literally just decided “yeah I’m gonna go join up with the Titans when nobody even asked because I wanna and also I’m a go-getter, so, look out world, here comes the sixth Titan” - and that’s pretty much exactly what happened then. 

She kinda just....auditions herself when all the original Titans are looking at each other like wait did we pass out flyers for a recruitment drive, did anyone else know we were looking to expand? And Lilith’s just like shhh, I sensed your need, now stop talking and listen raptly, I’m monologuing. And also voguing. I have so many skillsets, how do I do it.

And then this absolute ICON of a diva like, vogues in their direction, jazz fingers wagging for emphasis as she dramatically INTONES on one of the pages of her debut issue, which introduced her in media res and then flashed back to how the Titans first encountered her:

“TITANS! A man is going to DIE tonight, unless you stop it, and if you do not, his death will be ON YOUR HANDS!”

Like, case in point number one: This is not a woman who believes in doing anything by half measure, or who’s afraid to make her presence felt. Classic Lilith never stepped softly a day in her life, and she sure as hell didn’t when deciding on how best to petition famous superheroes for a shot at joining their extremely exclusive club.

Now admittedly, because Lilith was rarely a focal viewpoint character in her earliest appearances, in large part because she wasn’t a known quantity like the other iconic teen heroes but also because a huge part of her initial concept was the constant air of mystery she was shrouded in, with the others always wondering about how much she knew and could be trusted....this means that we didn’t get a ton of internal monologue from Lilith or a look into her actual motivations or thoughts about the various events unfolding. So full disclosure, basing my interpretation on mostly just her earliest appearances requires some coloring in and filling in the blanks for a lot of her very-open-to-interpretation early actions, and I acknowledge there’s room for them to be interpreted in other ways than how I view them. But again, I don’t think my take just comes out of nowhere; its earned by how the narrative wrote her.

Because see, one of the biggest unknowns with Lilith’s character and a lot of her actions, is its a proven quantity that she���s a psychic whose powers include precognition....but just how DETAILED her visions are, and how MUCH foreknowledge she has, is very up in the air for the most part.

So one of the earliest criticisms paid of new Titan Lilith, both out of universe and by her new teammates, was if she knew exactly how the man in issue #25 of the original Teen Titans was going to die, and what the Titans had to do with it and thus how to prevent it....why was she as vague as she was, when the only reason she gave for her ambiguity was she wanted to impress upon the Titans how valuable her skillset was and that they needed her.

This in turn colored a lot of their early wariness of her, and why several were less than enthusiastic about welcoming her with open arms, thus meaning right out the gate she was perceived as something of an outlier to the 05 and didn’t get grandfathered into their group dynamic as having the same kind of closeness with them that the 05 are all famous for having with each other. Wally in particular had trouble trusting her or her motivations, because so much of his character is “I think science is neat, and if you don’t, you’re probably a witch, gee whiz” and precognition is not exactly a powerset that goes hand in hand with reliable and verifiable. Oh Wally. Go eat a Snickers.

But the point is, it could be argued that Lilith didn’t do her introduction to her future teammates any favors by being withholding right off the bat rather than give them everything they needed to save the man in her visions. Ironic for a psychic. Course, that’s also what informs a lot of my take on early Lilith and why I love her so much....because my personal belief is that Lilith just didn’t KNOW all that much from her vision, and was kinda bringing it to the Teen Titans as a hail mary type of thing that maybe they could do enough with what little she had that it saved the man in her dreams. BUT at the same time, I ALSO view a key component of things being that like.....Lilith was intentionally vague about NOT having a clear picture of events, in order to leverage her powers and information into what she was after, aka membership as a Titan.

And this is where other details about early Lilith are critical: specifically, that she was an orphan and foster child who was bounced around from one home to the next due to people being wary of the strange child who always seemed to know things she shouldn’t, and whose attempts to endear herself to people and make herself invaluable to them and thus less likely to be sent away, like, constantly backfired on her and became the reason they DID send her away. People didn’t like that young Lilith Clay had inexplicable knowledge of things they usually didn’t WANT anyone else to know, and the fact that she really just wanted to help, not actually use the insights she had to hurt people....tended to get lost in the shuffle.

So Lilith, though not fully spelled out as such, was from a very early point presented as someone who was used to her powers working AGAINST her, at cross purposes from what she actually wanted to do with them. By the time we met her in the comics, her primary motivation aside from her wishes to make something of herself and her power, was to try and find out where she came from, who her parents were, etc. This had eventually led her to the employ of Mr. Jupiter, an eccentric DC billionaire whose history had given him various connections to the hero community, and she somehow got herself hired as his personal assistant in return for his help in vouching for her to the Titans when she ultimately engineers an encounter with them. 

(Ironically, later retcons would reveal that Mr. Jupiter was in fact her biological father and though this was part of what had led Lilith to him over the course of her search for her origins, he neglected to share this info - which he was well aware of - during her hiring interview. Guess Lil comes by her inscrutability and penchant for Literally Why Tho dramatics honestly. I’m just saying!)

The point to all of this being that even without her earliest issues detailing her thought process explicitly, the clues are all there to interpret her as someone who was used to people assuming the worst of her and her intentions, and who thus had to try and make the most of what she DID know from her visions, while anticipating that the people she tried to give this info weren’t likely to just take her word for it or assume she didn’t have ulterior motive.

So an expedient solution for Lilith, it seemed, was just to play into peoples’ expectations and PRESENT them with a motive right up front, something that was plausible enough to explain her approach as well as her ‘refusal’ to be fully forthcoming with her intel. Though that refusal was mostly just due to her not HAVING any further intel but still wanting to be viewed as worth keeping around despite what she feared would be seen as having limited effectiveness.

All of which then led, IMO, to Lilith’s decision to approach the Titans with a dire prophecy that they would be integral to the demise of an innocent man....but providing very little detail beyond that. And she played this off as intentionally being vague so that the Titans would appreciate how useful she could be to their heroics and agree to work with her on future endeavors in return for her full insights....rather than her risk that they’d turn her away and write her off as just being some weird fangirl who made a couple of lucky guesses. EVEN THOUGH, Lilith ALSO understood - and seemingly accepted as the cost of doing business - that this very same approach would likely keep her at arm’s length from them for the foreseeable future, because it would come across to them as callous and unheroic....assuming as they did that she COULD have provided them with more intel and just chose not to in service of her own agenda.

But again - Lilith’s only real agenda, in retrospect....was an honest and sincere desire to help save people, to be a hero. And I find that dichotomy, that carefully scripted approach on her part, to be FASCINATING, full of so much rich character potential. The idea of this hero whose entire approach to heroics and the other heroes she’d become teammates with, like, in her own mind REQUIRED her to be mercenary and to FAKE an air of aloofness and mystery as though she didn’t care all that much about the fates she foresaw or individual human lives, when in fact CARING VERY DAMN MUCH was the entire BASIS of her drive to be a hero and a Titan in the first place....that’s so much more compelling to me than Generic Bland Exposition Mouthpiece that later runs of Titans tended to treat her as.

Now, equally important to my view of Lilith, Drama Queen Most High and Proud Of It....is HOW Lilith first got the Titans’ attention so that she could make her approach and utter her dire prophecy.

She did this by intercepting the Titans when they were all relaxing in a club - and basically just commandeering their attention. It was a music club, with dancers... one of whom was Lilith, introduced by the club’s em-cee, directing all eyes on her and which Lil then capitalized on to dance right up the Titans’ table, where the 05 were all chilling out of costume, and led to this exchange:

Lilith: I’ve been waiting for you! I knew you’d come here tonight!

Donna: How could you know that? WE didn’t know we’d make this scene until a few minutes ago.

The narration, in 60s style LULZ fashion: From cool lips, carved of gleaming jade - a scorching thunderbolt!

Lilith: I want to be a Teen Titan!

Dick: Huh? A Teen Titan? Why ask us?

Donna: All that dancing’s got you flaky, gal. (LOL afhsifhalkfhal I can’t even)

Roy: Right! Asking us about being a Titan makes no sense (paraphrasing because I gotta, this dialogue is just too much)

Lilith: Don’t put me down, kids! Who else should I ask about being a Titan, than the Titans themselves? *proceeds to call each of them out by their codename, pointing at each of them in turn*

Like....so to recap, Lilith figured out via her precognition where the Titans would be that night, and rather than just bump into them and introduce herself, she engineered her entrance to be as attention-grabbing as possible. LOL. Cuz  Lilith didn’t actually work as a dancer, who just so happened to dance at the club the Titans would end up at the night she had a vision to share intel on. She literally GOT herself a spot as a dancer that night specifically in order to make the approach she did. As I’ve said in multiple Lilith posts, making a totally over the top wtf initial impression is kinda like her signature move, as of her earliest appearances. She deliberately scripts encounters on more than one occasion to leave people off balance and make herself as memorable or larger than life as possible....in order to counterbalance the times she knows that she’ll have less than underwhelming info to offer up when people DO quiz her on what her powers show her and expect she knows more than she actually does. 

Its all carefully managed expectations and intermingling smoke and mirrors with genuine truth and psychic foresight, so that even once on the team, Lilith can kinda build herself a reputation as intentionally vague and unknowable, even to her own teammates, and thus somewhat temper peoples’ reactions to her both giving more info than they expect or less, depending on which she happens to have at the time. She deliberately makes herself as unpredictable and inexplicable as possible so they KNOW she’s legit and has actual psychic powers, but also ‘know’ or at least believe she has a habit of keeping her knowledge largely to herself for reasons she declines to share. All because again, she doesn’t trust them to still see her as deserving a spot on the team if she discloses just how unpredictable her powers can be, and thinks her chances of being a hero and a Titan are better if they just all continue to think of her as cold and intentionally keeping pivotal details to herself for mercenary reasons she truly believes are more plausible to them, and something they’re more willing to put up with in a teammate - than a psychic teammate whose powers are less reliable than she’d like them to be.

There’s an inherent tragedy to a lot of Lilith’s earliest character work - like for instance when they meet future teammate Mal Duncan, Lilith sees him sneak out in order to take on a mission solo at night when everyone’s asleep. Only for the other Titans to assume upon discovering him gone the next day that she knew well in advance what he was going to do because of a vision, and think she didn’t warn anyone because she’s too callous to care what happens to Mal. When the truth was just that she didn’t realize at the time she saw him what he was going to do, and only ran with the other Titans’ assumption she had a vision about him because they’d been getting frustrated with her lack of helpful visions all issue and so she thought it was better that they believed she DID have a vision about him than admit she just hadn’t had anything useful to share in days.

Like, I joke about Lilith’s DRAMA and her various ways of drawing attention and capitalizing on it, but the truth is early Lilith is also heart-breakingly insecure about her self-worth and her place on the team and as a hero. In time, she eventually does become close with the other early Titans and open up to them and become a trusted confidante in turn, but it did TAKE time, and she never fully lost the mannerisms and behavior traits that were born of assuming people wouldn’t take her seriously or at face value. At least, not until later appearances where all those aspects of her character just disappeared in an instant with zero acknowledgment of ever being part of her prior characterization. Not because writers had organically grown her past all of that but more likely IMO because they just saw her as a generic psychic info-dumper they depicted as blandly inoffensive and trying not to make waves or stand out....even though that’s one hundred percent just NOT Lil, a character who once upon a time LIVED to stand out and shouted for peoples’ attention in as dramatic a fashion as possible, because she desperately wanted to be seen and heard and valued, to be able to say Lilith Was Here and not be forgotten. 

Lilith’s initial character concept was an anti-Cassandra of Troy, a psychic of limited means who was determined not to let that stand in her way as she made the most of what gifts she did have in her pursuit of being a hero and helping people, and who so absolutely refused to accept being disbelieved or ignored that she willingly sacrificed her hopes and desires of being liked and a friend to the very heroes she looked up to and said I’d rather you all think I was the coldest bitch north of Antarctica than risk you doubting me on the occasions when I DO have crucial information I can’t afford anyone secondguess.

But later writers were like we’ve literally never heard of that character, here, have some wallpaper instead. They sanded off all her carefully and deliberately roughened edges to make her as nondescript as possible, because it never occurred to them that this largely forgotten psychic plot device of eras past might have been more than just a plot device, and ironically MOST characterized by her refusal to JUST be a plot device advancing other heroes’ narratives while she stood on the sidelines. 

So much for the teenager who blackmailed her way onto several missions by refusing to divulge anything she foresaw ahead of time and insisted that they’d need her there alongside them, whether she’d truly seen that or not. Toodles to the telepath who upon first emergence of her telepathy, panicked because she couldn’t decide if she’d rather share her new power with her teammates and be recognized for it or if it would just give them more reason to distrust her, knowing that she could now hear their thoughts. “We don’t even know her” to the girl who absolutely one hundred percent WOULD deliberately cause offense just to make sure you never forgot about the time you encountered Lilith Clay and she handed you your ass....only to ultimately be replaced by this meek, mild-mannered superhero support staff member who never had a negative thing to say about anyone because her only appearances in stories was to enable everyone else’s plots with no thought to giving her one of her own.

*sighs gustily*

I have just. So very many thoughts on the erosion of the Prickly With Intent and Damned Proud Of It Lilith of yesteryear, into the character we’ve had over the last thirty years (when writers deign to remember a character with that name even exists at all). She was so much BIGGER than peoples’ assumptions about her or about what a character with her archetype and powerset SHOULD be like. Lilith of once upon a time was an often self-sabotaging mess with a heart of gold who absolutely would cut off her nose to spite her face while doubling down and shouting “I totally meant to do that" - preferring to fall on her sword as being literally too dumb to live than live with the shame of people thinking it only happened cuz her powers were on the fritz and she’d been, gasp, fallible. Her priorities were her own and she’d do as she damn well pleased in pursuit of them, and she wasn’t here to apologize for being who she was and how she went about being that person. 

She was a complicated contradiction of a desperate yearning to belong and a conviction that there was no point in shooting for an end-goal she didn’t believe she’d be able to recognize even if she ever were to find it. She was a girl whose very powers demanded faith that she wasn’t sure even she had herself, and who then grew up to be a woman whose belief in her own friends’ and teammates’ best natures or futures was steadfast specifically BECAUSE she never forgot how much they all believed in her once she finally started to let down her walls and gave them a glimpse of the more vulnerable, genuine self she kept hidden behind them.

And none of that even TOUCHES on the total wtf-mess of various storylines she had, like when it was believed the Greek Titaness of the Sun was her mother. Or the COMPLETELY forgotten about and overlooked aspect of her character and powers where she only first started wearing a cloak and hood because she’d developed a power to unconsciously alter how people looking at her saw her, with her face taking on the appearance of those she used her telepathy on. So it was like when deep-diving into the mind of a friend or enemy, her telepathy wasn’t like that of an intruder just spying on someone’s most private thoughts, but rather it functioned as though her telepathy let her BECOME that person, comingling with the mind she was delving through to such a degree that where that mind ended and she began started to blur, and who they were began being reflected in who she was as well, with even her face visibly changing to look more like them than herself. 

And Lil started to wear a hood after this power development in part to make other people more comfortable, as this was said to be very unnerving for people to witness...but with it at least partially being implied that her hiding her face had as much to do with Lil’s own fears about this side of her powers and what they suggested, as she struggled to find a balance between the good she could do with her telepathy and her fears of losing herself to them and the minds she traipsed through. Like the irony of her insecurities and lack of a sense of self or belonging as an orphaned girl leading into her lifelong drive to be a hero and help and save people and attempts to define herself through that only for that very drive and use of her powers to someday threaten to take her too far and cost her every real sense of self as who she is was in danger of becoming lost or subsumed in one of the minds she foraged through? 

THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE TO LILITH WHERE DID IT ALL GO, I WOULD LIKE IT BACK PLEASE AND THANK YOU. 

In conclusion, there is my somewhat haphazard and rambling tale of where does my take on Lilith come from and why do I interpret and depict her character the way I do, with a side helping of Gazes longingly into the void of comics past and yet to come, beseeching said void all like Would the Real Lilith Clay, Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up.

Thank you for your time. This has been a post. The end.

[roniscloud]

dhs - pillow fort

do hanse [f. requested, 1382 words] pillow fort

“i still can’t believe you’re dragging me out for some party. you know i don’t do parties.” you can’t help but feel annoyed as you force yourself out of the passenger’s seat. the look on your face only showing a playful irritation as you turn to your best friend, bomi.

she looks back at you and says teasingly, “but you do care about your friends. besides, it’s my birthday. you’re not getting out of this.”

“fine… only because it’s your birthday.” the two of you head closer to the entrance of the cabin. the cool breeze rustling through the trees, the milky fog emitting from the water, and the scenic views surrounding you help ease your mood. your best friend, bomi, to put it frankly, is loaded. she decided to rent out a huge property right on the lake-front to celebrate her birthday—inviting your entire extended friend group, roughly a dozen and a half people. you weren’t exactly the closest to every single one of them but the overall dynamic of the group always made things entertaining. making your way through the double doors into the large space, you recognize the familiar faces already there. you scan the living room with a small smile as you wave quickly at a few that you make eye contact with. you start to think to yourself maybe this weekend won’t be that bad, until…

“what the actual hell is he doing here?” the urgency in your hushed whisper making it evident to bomi you spotted a certain someone.

“well it would’ve been rude to not invite him,” the words coming out in a maternal manner. “both of you are my friends, i wanted to spend time with both of you. it’s not like i’m forcing you to be in the same room.”

you stare at her with a dead expression, blinking a few times as if to see if she’s joking. “that’s literally what you’re doing. i get that you’re older than me but the mom tone is only pissing me off more.” 

“ok fine… that’s on me. just avoid him, have some drinks, have some fun, and all will be ok,” she attempts to convince you.

do hanse. the man, the myth, the tattooed and pierced jerk who manages to boil your blood at the mere thought of him. bomi trying to convince you of staying the entire weekend with your enemy—well he’s not really your enemy… in all honesty, you’re not sure what to classify him as. all you know is that each of your interactions have not been pleasant—by getting drunk was the only thing keeping you from stealing her car and driving off the nearest cliff.

the hours pass as more guests arrive. there seems to be a silent agreement by you and hanse to avoid each other, so far the plan working well. the night continues on until the dark sky envelops everyone and sleepiness washes over the group, you being one of the last to actually head upstairs. luckily bomi told you that everyone had their assigned rooms, albeit some of them you saw in other places on your way up. you reach out your hand to turn the doorknob of your bedroom, expecting an empty bed that you could finally take your rest on. 

“you have got to be kidding me. what are you doing in my room?”

hanse flinches at your sudden appearance. “this is your room? i’m screwed.” 

“why are you here? i thought you were sharing a room with seungwoo.”

“byungchan and chan took over. now all three of them are there. sejun and seungsik are bunking and i don’t want to deal with sik’s sleepwalking. subin took over the couch and all the other rooms are full.”

you let out an exasperated sigh. “then what do you expect us to do? share the bed?”

“i was kinda hoping that… i promise i won’t do anything. i just want to get some sleep.” he sounds exhausted with a hint of nervousness.

“fine. i’m gonna be in the bathroom. just pick one side and stay there.” you see him nod at your words as you grab your stuff out of your bag and head to get ready for bed. as you brush your teeth, you hear some rustling of sheets. it hits you. you actually are about to share a bed with the person you despise most. you convince yourself to go through with it, reminding yourself that it’s only one night. you’ll survive… you open the bathroom door, entering back into the bedroom to find hanse in bed with a not so typical set-up. “seriously? what is this supposed to be?”

hanse lifts his head from the mattress, “a pillow fort. duh.” he says matter-of-factly as he points at the stack of pillows lined down the center of the bed. “you said pick a side so that’s exactly what i did.”

“you’re actually a child,” you said condescendingly. 

“whatever. goodnight, then.” he lays down again, closing his eyes and effectively ending the conversation.

you stand there, hesitating to take another step. when the initial fear finally leaves you, you make your way to the bed. your hands slowly lift the comforter and you catch hanse slightly shift. you make your way under the covers, trying to not move the bed too much to the best of your abilities. you stare at the ceiling, the drowsiness you felt earlier gone. you feel a shift again.

“you still up?” hanse, now quietly asks, him too staring at the blank ceiling. 

you give him an affirming hum. you lie there together in silence. yet, you don’t feel awkward. it’s weird, but not awkward. the minutes pass without any sort of noise coming from either of you. this time you’re the one to move around, removing the pillow directly between your heads. you turn to face him and ask, “why do you hate me?”

his immediate response is to turn to you with a confused face, scrunching his eyebrows. he sees your serious expression and realizes it’s a genuine question. “i don’t hate you. we just… don’t get along.”

“why?” you pause again, contemplating whether to bring up the past until ultimately deciding to say screw it and say, “we used to be friends.”

“we were. you were supposed to be my friend. that’s all…that’s all I ever asked of you, to be my friend, to care. we were good but then more people joined and it got complicated.”

“what do you mean by that?”

he looks back up, “we stopped spending time with each other and we just… we just didn’t have that bond anymore. we got too busy for each other, life happened, and we changed. whenever we saw each other, we never talked. we got snappy and it all went to shit.”

you think back on all the times you avoided him, all the times you made bitter comments and petty remarks. “i’m sorry.”

you don’t hear any response from him for several moments. “i’m sorry too.” his voice coming out very softly, no animosity.

what happened after was a blur, vaguely recalling a longer conversation of old memories being told and hushed laughs in attempts to not wake the others in neighboring rooms. the next morning, you’re woken by bomi and seungwoo. you hear seungwoo say something about getting dressed for breakfast and hear bomi giggling under her breath. you rub your eyes to getter a better view of the situation and see an arm slung over your waist. you groggily tell them that you’ll be down soon and to give you a few minutes. they finally leave the room and you turn to face the owner of the arm. you gently shake hanse awake, giving him a few seconds to realize that he’s cuddling you. he sluggishly asks, “what time is it?”

“past nine. the others are having breakfast downstairs. we need to get up.”

“fine.” he hums although with reluctance. “you know… i think that was the best sleep i’ve gotten in a long time.” you chuckle at his comment, snuggling your head against his chest once more. “does this mean we’re friends again?”

“i think so…”

“does this mean we can be sleeping buddies?”

“only if that involves actually sleeping.”

“no promises.”

originally written: 24 may 2021

[ghostgothgeek]

Hi, I'm sorry if this ask bothers you, and I hope it doesn't give you trouble, but I've been thinking and I just need to get this outta my chest.

A lot of Sam criticism comes from Sam "not acknowledging her mistakes", and I can't help but think that's a result of her not apologising as explicitly as people want?

I first want to clear up that I love Sam and believe this is BS, because she does acknowledge when she's wrong. But I wanted to dwell on the why of this belief.

The only "problem" is that her way of apologising is usually not your typical sorry. This is actually common in cartoons. Saying sorry is important and should be featured more often, but storytelling tends to prefer using actions over words because it gives a certain symbolism to it.

Case on point, in Girls' Night Out, Sam's way of apologising to Jazz for not trusting her abilities as ghost hunter is to follow her plan and, most importantly, to acknowledge her as Ghost Getter #1. Something Jazz even beamed at. And that helped them bond.

Sorry this got long, may I ask your opinion on it? If you don't want to answer, that's okay, thank you for your time 💖

Hi @geekgirles! I’m so so sorry it took me this long to reply - I’ve been really busy getting back to work! I also wanted to rewatch this episode both for fun and also to better answer this.

Firstly, you are not bothering me at all and this isn’t too long! I’m seriously so honored you would ask for my opinion!

Also, you bring up a good point. I never really thought of that. Sam is a lot more mature than Danny and Tucker, so it would make sense that she knows actions speak louder than words.

Also I actually love this episode. The only downside is the forced tension between Sam and Jazz, and I say forced because they get along well in all the other episodes. They just had it for a plot point in this episode because Sam and Danny were getting closer to being a couple, and I guess she needed “family approval” even though she basically lives at Fenton Works already. It was definitely forced tension, which honestly is stupid and I hate it. But also, some of the best lines are in this episode!

“What was that?”

“What? You think you’re the only one who can drive men away?”

“One of us is gonna have to dress up like a boy.”

“Oh come on, it’s because I wear boots right?”

“Wow.”

“Frightened now?”

“No, I can’t believe you have a girlfriend.”

“Uh, why are all these women armed?”

Seeing all the women, human and ghost, team up is amazing and hilarious. Its cool to see how ghost powers can combine.

It’s also hilarious to have all the couples - Danny and Sam, Johnny and Kitty, Ember and Skulker, Spectra and Bertram, even Jack and Maddie (and the friendship between Dash and Kwan, the mother/daughter relationship between Jazz and Maddie, and the father/son relationship between Jack and Danny). In the end, everyone learns a little something about someone else, which is both dope and a great lesson and character development.

Anyways, back to Sam and Jazz in this episode. Tucker is also kinda standoffish to Jazz, it’s not just Sam. Sam is a bit more sassy (when is she not?) but Tucker is also rejecting Jazz. I think Sam is justified to be worried about Jazz joining the team (she doesn’t have as much experience fighting ghosts, earlier in the series she wanted nothing to do with ghost hunting, when she tries to help she usually sucks Danny in the thermos) even though Jazz is improving. I don’t think Sam had the right to be kinda nasty towards Jazz, but it is also kinda Sam’s character to be like that towards anyone who isn’t Danny and Tucker. But again, the tension between the girls was forced in this episode, because Tucker was hesitant towards Jazz too and yet the focus of the episode is on Jazz and Sam.

I’ll get to the apology thing, but I think something I see often other than “Sam doesn’t apologize” is “Sam always ends up being right so it reinforces her bad behavior” - which I still don’t get. Now the apology. The example you brought to this conversation is a perfect instance of Sam being wrong and admitting it. She tells Jazz good job when Jazz is excited her plan worked, and called her ghost getter #1. They are shown complimenting each other later on and going out for ice cream together. You are correct - in her actions, Sam has not only admitted she was wrong and apologized, but she also accepts and compliments Jazz, and vice verse. Sam may not have said “I’m sorry, I was wrong” like she did to Paulina in Parental Bonding, but actions can speak louder than words. It’s one thing to say “I was wrong sorry” and not really mean it versus actually enthusiastically accepting and complimenting Jazz both for her plan and how well she handled the equipment. At the end of the episode, I think it’s safe to call them friends, and not just sister and best friend of Danny.

Another thing I’d like to point out: we’ve seen Sam use the bazooka and Jazz use the ghost peeler, but in this episode they are essentially using each other’s weapons and complimenting each other on how great the other is doing (can I just say that Sam with the ghost peeler is fucking badass). That’s mutual respect and approval. It’s better than just an admission of being wrong and an apology.

So between this, her apology to Paulina in Parental Bonding, and even her literally saying “you were right” to Danny in DCMH, you could argue that Sam DOES have some character development throughout the show. I’m sure we would have seen much more of the series wasn’t cut short by BH’s selfishness. I think that if there were to be more seasons before forcing the ending in season 3/Phantom Planet, we would have seen more character development in general, particularly with Sam, and I also think the Danny/Sam relationship wouldn’t have seemed as forced as most people see it now. I’m positive that there was seasons of development for their relationship, and the writers basically had to go from chapter 5 to the end of a 60 chapter book in essentially 10 short episodes. Season 3 was rushed, but I understand how the writers still wanted to get to their end game plans for the show to try and tie up loose ends. I think we can all agree that the show did not end gracefully or the way any of us wanted, but remember it is because they were forced to shove so much plot that should go on for seasons into like a third of a season because they were cancelled. It got messy and therefore the execution was poor.

Anyway, that’s way more analysis than you asked for (sorry), but yeah, I can agree with Sam’s form of apologizing not being as straight forward as some would have liked. I hope this answers your question! Feel free to hit me with more!

[jackoshadows]

While developing characters, writers use certain literary tools to add depth to these characters and advance the plot.

Literary Foils and Mirrors

This is arguably the simplest of the devices. Foil characters share few or no values or traits. Maybe one character is lazy and boring, and his best friend is energetic and a go-getter. These are foil characters. Put them together, and they’ll highlight each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The most common foil characters are the heroes and villains, who stand for different values and want to achieve separate goals.

Mirror characters are used for a similar purpose. They tend to share several qualities and are used to complement and highlight each other’s traits. Common mirror characters embark on parallel plots, sometimes to achieve a single goal, which tests them and highlights their traits in different ways.

Arya Stark and Sansa Stark for example are literary foils.

Arya was one of the first characters created. Sansa came about as a total opposite b/c too many of the Stark family members were getting along and familes aren’t like that. Thus, Sansa was created; he ended by saying they have deep issues to work out. - GRRM

GRRM SSM November 11, 2000

You may be as different as the sun and the moon - Ned Stark, AGoT

Foils have contrasting personalities, a different set of values and are often used to highlight a character’s particular qualities. Snobby Sansa is used to highlight Arya’s socializing with the smallfolk and non-conformist Arya is used to highlight that Sansa is a proper lady. Arya rushes to help the butcher’s boy, Sansa is more concerned for the prince.

And then we have the mirror characters who share similar traits and qualities, again used to highlight and complement our characters. They may have parallel plots, give hints and clues as to how one characters journey could end the same or be different to the other.

In ASoIaF, Arya Stark and Lyanna Stark are mirror characters, in that, the author is using a tertiary character like Lyanna to complement and give us more information about our main character Arya.

“Lyanna might have carried a sword, if my lord father had allowed it. You remind me of her sometimes. You even look like her.”

“Lyanna was beautiful,” Arya said, startled. Everybody said so. It was not a thing that was ever said of Arya. - Arya, AGoT

So here the author gives us some information about how Arya might look in the future as well as demonstrates Arya’s low self-esteem with regards to her appearance.

Lyanna is used to highlight Arya’s interest in wielding a sword:

Beyond, in a clearing overlooking the river, they came upon a boy and a girl playing at knights. Their swords were wooden sticks, broom handles from the look of them, and they were rushing across the grass, swinging at each other lustily. "Arya?" she called out incredulously. Joffrey glanced from Arya to Sansa and back again. "Your sister?" She nodded, blushing. - Sansa, AGoT

Now two children danced across the gods wood, hooting at one another as they dueled with broken branches. The girl was the older and taller of the two. Arya! Bran thought eagerly, as he watched her leap up onto a rock and cut at the boy.  But that couldn’t be right. If the girl was Arya, the boy was Bran himself, and he had never worn his hair so long. And Arya never beat me playing swords, the way that girl is beating him. - Bran, ADwD

Bran sees a vision that parallels Arya/Mycah and even Arya/Bran with Lyanna and Benjen. Notice how Sansa is both incredulous and embarrassed at Arya dueling with Mycah -  highlighting the differences between Arya and Sansa and at the same time paralleling Arya and Lyanna.

Horse riding.

You ride like a northman, milady,” Harwin said when he’d drawn them to a halt. “Your aunt was much the same. Lady Lyanna. But my father was master of horse, remember.” - Arya, AGoT

It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. - Arya, AGoT

Notice how Arya and Lyanna are paralleled to highlight that Arya is a good horse rider, like the Northerners. And again, notice the contrast to Sansa. One character is a mirror here and one character a foil.

And again, with the flowers:

Ned remembered the way she had smiled then, how tightly her fingers had clutched his as she gave up her hold on life, the rose petals spilling from her palm, dead and black. […] “I bring her flowers when I can,” he said. “Lyanna was … fond of flowers.” - Ned. AGoT

Then to Sansa she said, “When we were crossing the Neck, I counted thirty-six flowers I never saw before, and Mycah showed me a lizard-lion.” - Sansa, AGoT

One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father. Sansa kept hoping he would tell Arya to behave herself and act like the highborn lady she was supposed to be, but he never did, he only hugged her and thanked her for the flowers. That just made her worse. - Sansa, AGoT

Text that is used to mirror Arya and Lyanna as liking flowers. We have Ned taking flowers to Lyanna and Arya bringing flowers to Ned. And again we have Sansa disparaging this. Mirrors and foils.

We have Arya and Lyanna stepping in to help people. Mirrors used to highlight Arya’s personality.

“Stop it!” Arya screamed. She grabbed up her fallen stick. Arya swung with both hands. There was a loud crack as the wood split against the back of the prince’s head - Sansa, AGoT

They shoved him down every time he tried to rise, and kicked him when he curled up on the ground. But then they heard a roar. ‘That’s my father’s man you’re kicking,’ howled the she-wolf.” The she-wolf laid into the squires with a tourney sword, scattering them all. - Bran, ASoS

Arya and Lyanna step in to help their father’s men and people like Howland Reed and Mycah. Sansa stepped in to help her Lannister prince.

Lyanna is deemed wilful and wild and comparisons are made to Arya.

“She was,” Eddard Stark agreed, “beautiful, and willful, and dead before her time.” - Arya, AGoT

And Arya … he missed her even more than Robb, skinny little thing that she was, all scraped knees and tangled hair and torn clothes, so fierce and willful.  - Jon, AGoT

“[…] This willfulness of yours, the running off, the angry words, the disobedience … at home, these were only the summer games of a child. Here and now, with winter soon upon us, that is a different matter. It is time to begin growing up.” Arya, AGoT

So we get a warning for Arya that her predecessor with a similar personality had a tragic ending. Will Arya head down the same path or will she make different choices from her mirror character?

And then there is Arya’s relationship with Lyanna’s son Jon Snow. The fact that Arya, Jon and Lyanna all look the same - and have the Stark look.

I think the writing in the books makes it clear that Arya and Lyanna are literary mirrors and Arya/Lyanna are literary foils to Sansa.

In what way is Lyanna a mirror for Sansa? How does Lyanna in any way complement Sansa as a character? What information about Sansa do we get from the Lyanna call backs in the text? What can we glean about Sansa’s personality and how she would react from Lyanna’s traits? There is no information about any of this in the books.

Which is why it’s baffling when some sections of fandom keep talking about the many parallels between Sansa and Lyanna. There are no parallels here, none.

We first hear of Lyanna when Robert mentions that unlike his failed engagement to Ned’s sister, this time around, Ned’s daughter and Robert’s son can marry to unite house Baratheon and Stark. This is GRRM setting up the scenario to subvert tropes.

Readers expect that Lyanna is a Sansa like character but as we keep reading, it’s revealed that the daughter who is similar to Lyanna is Arya and not Sansa. Even Arya is surprised when Ned tells her that it is she who will have Lyanna’s beauty.

Lyanna and Robert do not get married because Lyanna went against the wishes of her family. Meanwhile Sansa wanted to marry Joffrey against the wishes of her father. Character foils. If anything the Robert/Lyanna and Joffrey/Sansa pairing demonstrates how much Sansa and Lyanna are as much foils as Sansa and Arya.

Lyanna could see through Robert, that not even his closest friend Ned could do. She was not taken in by appearances.

“Robert will never keep to one bed,” Lyanna had told him at Winterfell, on the night long ago when their father had promised her hand to the young Lord of Storm’s End. “I hear he has gotten a child on some girl in the Vale.” Ned had held the babe in his arms; he could scarcely deny her, nor would he lie to his sister, but he had assured her that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart. Lyanna had only smiled. “Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man’s nature.” Ned, AGoT

Unlike Sansa, she did not believe that fairy tales were real. She was not idealistic about love. Contrast her with Sansa - who continued to love her sweet, beautiful prince after seeing him sadistically maul another child and try to harm her sister and after her own father warns her that Joffrey was not good

At first she thought she hated him for what they’d done to Lady, but after Sansa had wept her eyes dry, she told herself that it had not been Joffrey’s doing, not truly. The queen had done it; she was the one to hate, her and Arya. Nothing bad would have happened except for Arya.She could not hate Joffrey tonight. He was too beautiful to hate - Sansa, AGoT

“Once she had loved Prince Joffrey with all her heart, and admired and trusted her his mother, the queen. They had repaid that love and trust with her father's head. Sansa would never make that mistake again.”   - Sansa, ACoK

Much is made of Lyanna crying over Rhaegar’s song. As if this is a quality specific only to Sansa in ASoIaF. Cersei talks about how Rhaegar made her weep with his silvery harp. Arya likes songs and Arya cries. Arya and Sansa just like different songs and we have no idea what Rhaegar’s song was even about. Arya named her direwolf pup Nymeria from the songs.

Arya named hers after some old witch queen in the songs - Bran, AGoT

Arya wanted to become an outlaw like Wenda the White Fawn in the songs.

Tom and Hot Pie resumed their song on the other side of the brook, with the duck hanging from Lem’s belt beneath his yellow cloak. Somehow the singing made the miles seem shorter. - Arya, ASoS

Ygritte cries over songs about the last of the giants and Ygritte reminds Jon of Arya. Again, Ygritte and Arya are literary mirrors to remind Jon of his sister and highlight Arya’s personality and other characteristics.

She reminded him a little of his sister Arya, though Arya was younger and probably skinnier. It was hard to tell how plump or thin Ygritte might be, with all the furs and skins she wore. - Jon, ASoS

"If you kill a man, and never meant', he's just as dead," Ygritte said stubbornly. Jon had never met anyone so stubborn, except maybe for his little sister Arya. Is she still my sister? he wondered. Was she ever? - Jon, ASoS

There were tears on Ygritte’s cheeks when the song ended. “Why are you weeping?” Jon asked. “It was only a song. There are hundreds of giants, I’ve just seen them.” “Oh, hundreds,” she said furiously. “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” - Jon, ASoS

Ygritte displays both grief and anger at the fate of the giants in the song -  emotions that Arya often exhibits.

So GRRM compares two women who cry listening to songs with Arya in the text and yet the parallel here is somehow with Sansa?

Besides, let’s not forget Lyanna’s reaction to Benjen laughing at her crying:

The dragon prince sang a song so sad it made the wolf maid sniffle, but when her pup brother teased her for crying she poured wine over his head - Bran, ASoS

Who does this remind us of?

“You be quiet, stupid,” the girl (Lyanna) said, tossing her own branch aside. - Bran, ADwD

Who does this remind us of?

GRRM is deliberately writing in Lyanna Stark as a literary mirror to Arya Stark in the books. There are three possible reasons for this. One, to highlight and complement Arya’s personality and add depth to her character. Two, to highlight her strong connection to the North. And three, for a plot that he’s leading us towards, that will either parallel or connect to Lyanna’s story in some way.

GRRM sees no such need to connect Sansa and Lyanna because that is not Sansa’s story. Her similarities are with her mother Catelyn Stark. Her story has been revolving around Littlefinger for 5 books and Littlefinger is infatuated with her because she looks like Catelyn. The author has even talked about it.

My Littlefinger would have never turned Sansa over to Ramsay. Never. He’s obsessed with her. Half the time he thinks she’s the daughter he never had—that he wishes he had, if he’d married Catelyn. And half the time he thinks she is Catelyn, and he wants her for himself. He’s not going to give her to somebody who would do bad things to her. That’s going to be very different in the books. - GRRM

If there is an aunt that the character parallels, it is Lysa Arryn and not Lyanna Stark. Will Sansa fall to Littlefinger’s machinations and suffer the same fate as her mother and her aunt? Or will she forge a different path when facing same tests?

So why the obsession with Sansa and Lyanna parallels?

Sansa stans have this weird way of reading the text where everything is subconscious and not written on the page. This idea that what’s on page is not important but some sneaky, secretive subtext is what’s actually going foreshadow future events. So GRRM investing in Jon and Arya’s relationship in the text of the books means that Jon and Sansa are going to end up together. Or GRRM is making subconscious parallels between Lyanna and Sansa.

Sorry, but that’s not how GRRM writes. Everything that GRRM wants us to read and connect to is on the page.

“I’ve been planting all these clues that the butler did it, then you’re halfway through a series and suddenly thousands of people have figured out that the butler did it, and then you say the chambermaid did it? No, you can’t do that,” Martin reportedly said while addressing whether fan theories and online speculation influence his writing process for the “Song of Ice and Fire” series of novels on which HBO’s adaptation is based.

It’s easy to do things that are shocking or unexpected, but they have to grow out of characters. They have to grow out of situations. Otherwise, it’s just being shocking for being shocking. But this is something that seems very organic and natural, and I could see how it would happen.

Then there’s the misogyny. Beauty, songs, romance and love should only be associated with Sansa. Arranged marriages are only for Sansa, being used as a pawn for power is only Sansa. Only Sansa suffers the separation from family. Can’t associate any of that with Arya because she is ‘masculine’. Despite Catelyn arranging a marriage for Arya with a Frey and despite Ramsay marrying Arya to hold the North, only Sansa is the key to the North. Arya sees through Elmar Frey as easily as Lyanna sees through Robert Baratheon, but it’s only Sansa who is associated with an unwanted betrothal.

Every female character in this series has a betrothal plot, every female character is used as a pawn at one point - even Daenerys. We know nothing about Lyanna’s story - whether she was in love with Rhaegar, what she was doing in the Tower of Joy, why she eloped. We know nothing, just assumptions and headcanons. This is a character of whom we only get flashes here and there to add to Arya’s character for  plot reasons and the mystery of Jon’s parentage.

In my opinion, this obsession that Sansa stans have with connecting the character to Lyanna arises from a need to prove Sansa’s Northern/Stark credentials. Sansa stans are fanatical about the North. Parallels to Catelyn and Lysa evoke Sansa’s Tully lineage rather than her Stark one and for people that are obsessed with the North, this will not do.

Unless it’s the idiotic Ned/Cat Jonsa parallels where they theorize that Jon is attracted to a girl who looks like the woman who emotionally abused him 😒. Of course, with the new batch of Sansa stans who ship Jonsa there is now an added reason for pushing the Lyanna-Sansa parallels as a connection they want for Jon and Sansa.

So, in the text of the story, the author writes Arya Stark and Lyanna Stark as mirrors and Arya Stark and  Sansa Stark as foils. The author does not intend to have Lyanna and Sansa act as mirrors in my opinion. Rather, an examination of what little we know of Lyanna shows her to be a complete contrast to Sansa in all ways.