#and sam doesn't really understand it

[carlyraejepsans]

hibiscia!!! Sorry if youve explained before but is there something specific about reset-remember fics that you hate? I don't really like them either but for me it's just because I feel like a lot of authors type sans in very ooc ways

They're completely antithetical to Sans' character arc for the sake of cheap and easy angst. The nature of his brand of cosmic horror isn't in reliving his life again and again, that's Flowey's. Sans knows OF the anomaly, knows that it's manipulating time and knows it's a threat to the entire universe, but he doesn't know how or why, because he doesn't remember.

And that's crucial! him being mostly in the dark in spite of the MANY warning signs about us... because it's in that doubt that he remains hopeful. YES we could potentially end the world... but what if we don't? yes we have unimaginable power over everyone else and we can bring back time, but what if we're just.... sad? he needs that gap in his knowledge so he can take a leap of faith across it, it's his entire character arc in the pacifist run. sans THINKS he's given up, he wants to have given up, he chose to do it because there's a comfort in that. in contenting yourself with good food and bad laughs. there's peace. but he hasn't given up, not really. on himself? maybe. but not in us.

there's no way to have that arc if he remembers resets.

[incesthemes]

"their relationship is romantic" "their relationship is familial" "their relationship is platonic" you're thinking too narrow. their relationship goes beyond labels. the family is inherently queer. their platonic love is romantic. the erotic is familial. each one is the other and the other is them

[daincrediblegg]

so seriously I think sam reid has more talent in his pinky than the entire cast of succession combined and if no awards recognize this I will actually burn hollywood to the ground and that is a promise <3

[mayasdeluca]

Danielle answering what she would change in Marina's journey

[arabella-s-arts]

After watching the first two episodes of MAWS season 2 I can confidently say...

Lois what the #$%#!

[feedingicetothedog]

thinking a lot about how sam said that he sees lestat as a high status clown that can't really process that someone might be laughing at him.........

[lovevalley45]

the more i see everything with watcher unfold, the more i think that it's just as much abt how they decided to execute it as what they're doing

[quietwingsinthesky]

soulless sam was at his best when he was still being written as a version of sam, to accentuate parts of him that normally get held back, and not as 'guess he's evil now'. soulless sam when he's reflecting sam's tendency to lose sight of everything else in pursuit of a goal. soulless sam when he's just kind of rude without thinking about it without his filter on. soulless sam when he's equal parts intent on keeping dean with him and also happy to lie to him and keep him shut out of the things he knows dean won't like so that dean won't leave. soulless sam when he equally recognizes that he is a better hunter now, and also that he probably can't continue to exist without his soul. (you know. before they went along with making him just kind of evil.)

...soulless sam when he's begging for literally anyone to acknowledge his autonomy in this situation and not force him to take his soul back without knowing how much it could damage him and being ignored.

[ananke-xiii]

S9E1 Castiel being freshly human, not understanding a thing of what's going on, fully aware that a.lot. of angels would very much like to kill him just.because meets a random angel on the street (Hael) and he's like: LET'S GO SEE THE GRAND CANYON TOGETHER, WOO-HOOO!

[lawrence-songs]

An anon, meaning well: how does interacting with bendykins feel?

Me, attempting to restrain myself to the best of my ability: ahem. I mean. It's wonderful.

[jackexmachina]

Soulless Sam  you’re stuck with the soulless guy, so you might as well work with me.

image description: scene comparisons and parallels with Soulless!Sam, from “Metamorphosis,” “Lucifer Rising,” “Swap Meat,” “Exile on Main St.,” “Live Free or Twihard,” “Family Matters,” and “All Dogs Go to Heaven”

6x01: Gwen Campbell tells Dean, “My god, you have delicate features for a hunter.” He asks, “Excuse me?” Sam puts out a hand and introduces them, saying, “Dean, Gwen Campbell.” She smiles, saying, “Good to finally meet ya. Sam’s gone on and on.”

6x07: Samuel Campbell turns around from his desk to see Castiel standing behind him, he looks him up and down appraisingly. He asks, “This Castiel?” Castiel nods seriously. Then Samuel says, “You’re scrawnier than I pictured.” 

4x04: Dean glares at Sam and tells him slowly, “If I didn’t know you? I would want to hunt you.”

6x07: Dean responds to the fact that Sam does not sleep, asking, “And it never occurred to you that there might be something off about that?” Castiel looks down at him, brow furrowed. Sam says, “Of course, it did, Dean, I–” He pauses, and Castiel glances at Dean before crossing in front of Sam, staying between him and Dean. Sam finishes, “I just never told you.”

6x05: Dean picks up a young adult vampire novel off of the victim’s desk, saying, “Look at this.” He holds it up to Sam saying, “He’s watching her sleep. How is that not rape-y?” Sam glances at it before telling him, “I gotta concentrate here, Dean.” Dean turns away and flips through the book.

6x08: Dean is just waking up, in a t-shirt and jeans and on top of the covers of his bed. He turns to Sam who is standing at the table dressed in a formal shirt and pants and says, “You didn’t sleep.” He turns away, continuing mostly to himself, “’Cause you don’t sleep.” He rubs his eyes. Sam picks up his suit jacket, saying, “Right.” Dean looks over again responding, “Yeah. That’s not creepy at all.” Sam answers, “Not like I can help it.”

5x12: Dean sits at a bar with a kid who performed a spell to bodyswap with Sam. They take a shot, and then Dean says, “Wow, is it just me or are we actually drinking together?”

6x05:  Sam and Dean sit at a bar holding beers, and Dean turns to Sam, saying, “When’s the last time we had a beer together anyway?”

4x22: Sam listens to the end of a fabricated voicemail using Dean’s voice, and it says, “You’re not you anymore, and there’s no going back.” He closes his eyes and exhales slowly, lowering the phone.

6x07: Dean and Castiel stand slightly apart from Sam, who is beaten bloody and tied to a chair. Dean glances at Sam as he asks Castiel, “So, is he even still Sam?” Castiel turns around to consider him before answering, “Well, you pose an interesting philosophical question.” Sam looks at them pensively.

[incesthemes]

as i've rewatched seasons 1 and 2 of supernatural i've been pondering and hypothesizing reasons why john was so adamant on not letting sam know about his destiny. why he was so intent on keeping this secret, why he didn't want sam knowing about monsters, why his role in their hunts appeared to be research-oriented and thus away from the action. my perspective on ignorance and censorship is that it enables further harm, so if john were going to effectively protect sam, it would stand to reason that sam should have a comprehensive understanding of his destiny and what he's up against: give him the tools to fight.

this is obviously not the route john went, so then i have to question why that is—what about censorship was so appealing to him that he thought it not only the best way to keep sam safe, but perhaps even the only way to keep him safe, based on how he begged even dean to keep sam's fate a secret from him in his final words?

so i got to thinking. namely, about the fact that azazel wants sam to be hunting: he killed jessica with the intent to drag him back into the life, which implies that if sam is hunting, he is going down the path azazel wants him to go—he's following his destiny. this aligns with the everpresent theme throughout season 1 that hunting is a monstrous lifestyle, that hunting turns people into monsters. if sam is destined to become a monster, then hunting is the most sure-fire way to get him there.

if azazel wants sam to hunt, then john would need to take the logical opposition and keep sam out of hunting—so, he wouldn't tell sam about monsters until he has to, he'd give sam more passive roles once sam is participating in hunts, he'd train sam in self-defense but not explain why. and importantly, he wouldn't talk about mary, who is the root cause of this lifestyle, the impetus for their revenge quest, more than he has to. if the goal is to keep sam as far away from hunting as possible, and if john is someone who thinks ignorance keeps someone safe, then this more or less explains most of how sam was raised: on the fringes of the family, excluded and sheltered.

but weirdly enough, it wasn't until i was reading east of eden the other night that i finally understood the perspective being presented: late in the novel, the character lee says "when the first innocence is gone, you can't stop."

it made me remember that sam picks. he is a character who wants to understand the world around him and his place in it. if something is bothering him, he turns it over in his head until it consumes him. dean places doubt in sam's head in 2x10 and it obliterates him by 2x11. he's convinced he's going to become some horrible monster because he never stops thinking and trying to figure things out. when his memory is wiped in 4x17 and normal guy sam wesson finds out his coworker is the guy from his weird dreams, he pursues him relentlessly until they're back hunting. when he discovers the wall death put in his mind to keep his hell trauma out in season 6, he pushes and can't stop until it starts crumbling around him. he's intelligent and clever and he wants to know everything. and when he doesn't know, he picks.

and the only way to stop a person like that from picking is to not let them know that there's something to pick at in the first place. that's what the quote from east of eden means: once you catch wind of something, you want to pursue it until you're satisfied. curiosity kills the cat.

and what john is up against is fate itself. something that isn't supposed to be messed with, something that's supposed to be unavoidable. so trying to thwart it is tricky business. he has to be careful.

i think working under that logic his response makes sense, even if it wound up being a self-fulfilling prophecy anyway—sam was always going to find out, and sam was always going to pick. there was nothing john could do in the end to stop it, and trying to keep sam ignorant only made him that much more desperate to know. but that's the great tragedy of it all: john was given an impossible choice, and he's a deeply flawed character. he did what he thought was best, and it only made things worse.

i like this interpretation because it ties all of john's choices together really well; it explains a lot about his character and gives a nuanced and rather reasonable explanation for why he did what he did: a dad who wants the best for his kid does what he believes will set him up on the path to success. when the first innocence is gone, you can't stop—so john does his damnedest to keep sam innocent, even to his dying breath.

the problem comes down to that someone's damnedest isn't always good enough, and that sometimes someone's damnedest ends up benefiting the enemy instead.

[batcavescolony]

S4 E4 Supernatural

Dean finds out that Sam is using his demon powers to expell demons without killing the host. Now I understand both sides, it's not like I'm on one side, I see both. On Dean's side a literal Angel of the Lord came down to say 'talk shit into your brother or we go after him' and he found out Sam was lying to him for like a year. But on Sam's side he found out he's like the things he hunts, but he found a way to help people with the evil thing he was given. They're both going through it, they're both scared and traumatized, they both are right and wrong.

[mirchloe]

there's something so kind about how raz and dogen immediately connect. for raz to go in to camp not knowing much about dogen, it's easier for him to open up. dogen has already instilled trepidation in the hearts of the other kids, so his only real friend is lili, but raz is a special case. raz isn't one to judge, especially not to someone who welcomed him right off the bat. dogen is the first kid raz has a conversation with, and that's a pretty big deal. dogen might reach out to others with whom he's comfortable, but raz had been a total stranger, and yet, he's comfortable to sit on the steps with him and just talk. it's a really nice moment that gets overlooked because focus is given to lili watching raz and the impact of his declarations because there are clearly issues going on in raz's home. dogen has his own fair share of issues, both psychic and familial (which stem from his psychic issues), so it's incredibly pleasant he found a kindred spirit in raz.

[cold--carnage]

hrmghhhhh

[lakemichigans]

finger hovering over the play button on succession episode 1 so i can participate in society but i black out and when i awake i'm rewatching supernatural again