#and she doesn't have to have been. but it's also not something i should have been hard on myself for.

[sethsclearwater]

Okay possible imagine/blurb idea: Paul gets into a fight and gets arrested (by chief swan maybe??) and calls reader to pick him up and she’s pissed that he got in the fight in the first place so she takes her sweet time going to get him, she gets her nails done with Emily, she does some shopping, she gets a coffee. She finally picks him up and he’s about to be pissed off about her taking so long but she’s like ‘do it again and I’ll leave you there’ and he’s like 😔sorry ma’am😔

i'm obsessed with this lol

...

"you what?" you repeated back into the phone despite the fact that you'd heard your imprinter loud and clear the first time he said it.

"princess," paul sighed through the line and you almost lost your composure but quickly pulled it back together.

"don't call me that. what the hell were you thinking getting in a fight?" you asked, already knowing it was going to be something dumb. although paul had definitely learned to manage his temper once you came into his life, he still had his moments - especially when someone as annoying as your ex was involved.

"30 seconds remaining," an automated voice cut both of you off before either of you could continue.

paul let out another heavy sigh before continuing, "can you just come pick me up? i don't think incriminating myself over the phone is the best idea," he grumbled and you rolled your eyes, also letting out a loud sigh.

"i'll be there in a little bit. don't do anything stupid," you spoke into the phone before you hung up and emily, who had just picked you up from your apartment, burst into laughter.

"he got arrested? at 9 in the morning?" she laughed and you rolled your eyes, also cracking a smile when you realized just how stupid it was that he managed to get arrested by none other than chief swan (who had taken a bit of a liking to him recently too which made it all the worse that paul was currently sitting in some cell with chief swan monitoring him).

"apparently," you sighed, letting out a breathy laugh, "we can still go to port angeles though, i have until 5 to come get him." you added and emily's smile somehow got even wider.

"let's do it," she laughed before putting the car into drive so the two of you could continue on your shopping day.

--

by the time you had gotten back to la push, grabbed your car, and gotten over to the forks police station, it was 4:45 and paul had been stuck in there for almost an entire work day.

you did feel a tad bit bad that you'd left him in there for so long but you also knew he'd most definitely learned his lesson and wouldn't be doing this again anytime soon.

so, when you walked inside and filled out all the paperwork, chief swan brought your imprinter out who looked quite bothered to say the least.

"is that all you needed me to fill out?" you asked charlie as he uncuffed paul.

chief swan nodded, "you're all good to take him home," he reassured, "i just got off the phone with the other party and it doesn't sound like they're going to be pressing charges so you two should be all good. i'll come by if there's anything that changes," he added and you let out a sigh of relief, happy to know paul wouldn't be stuck doing court ordered community service or anger management classes thanks to a dumb one-off event.

"thank you," you flashed charlie a smile before you were grabbing your purse and heading outside, already knowing paul would be following shortly behind you.

as soon as you got in the car and paul got in the passenger side, you both finally turned your attention to each other, "8 hours? you know if it was you i would've-" he started but you quickly cut him off as you turned the car on.

"i wouldn't have been dumb enough to get myself into that situation in the first place. you're lucky i even came and got you - next time you're staying there," you threatened, suddenly much more annoyed with the fact that he was annoyed with you.

paul seemed a bit caught off guard by your sudden burst of confidence, staying quiet for a moment while he considered the pros and cons of getting into a fight with you about this.

after a few moments, he let out a sigh, nodding, "yes ma'am," he mumbled, dramatically leaning away from you so he could rest his head against the window while you drove the two of you back to your apartment.

you cracked a smile at his choice of words, reaching your free hand over to give his hand a gentle squeeze which he seemed to appreciate, quickly interlacing your fingers together so he could hold your hand for the ride home.

[firewasabeast]

(I made this little headcanon then had to write a fic for it. Here's 2k words of the 118 being obsessed with Tommy ft. Bobby being a dad, of course. Enjoy here or on ao3!)

The Problem

Buck has a problem.

He knows it shouldn't be a problem. Knows he should be grateful. He's never had anything like this before. Never felt so secure in his life. Work is good, home is good, friends are good, family's good, and his boyfriend... well, he's really good.

Buck is in love, like really and truly in love, for the first time ever. Yes, he's said it before, and maybe he meant it, but not like this. He's never had this much stability, and care, and comfort, and security. Buck doesn't just love Tommy, he feels loved by Tommy. Since the moment the words I love you slipped out of Tommy's mouth, there has never been a doubt in his mind that Tommy means it. And he knows that Tommy feels the same way about him too.

But none of that is the problem.

The problem is he's not the only one who loves Tommy.

All of his coworkers love Tommy.

A lot.

Apparently he is a very popular guy with the 118. Buck always knew Tommy was a cool guy, even when he first tried and failed to discredit the claim, but he didn't realize that every single one of his coworkers would also think Tommy was the coolest guy to ever walk the planet.

Okay, maybe they didn't actually think that, but it was obvious that they liked him and they wanted to be around him.

All. The. Time.

At first it was cute. Buck was thrilled that everyone liked the person he was dating. He was overjoyed that they always had something positive to say about Tommy, that they had him included in group chats, and invited him to hangout with the team after a shift.

Then it became... a lot to manage.

Chimney and Tommy had a long history, so it was to be expected that they would hang out on occasion. They both loved to watch classic movies and, while Buck didn't mind one every once in a while, he wasn't a huge fan of black and white so he let them have their time with that. He just didn't expect Chimney to add the Old Classics Movie Network to his cable subscription so there was always another movie being recorded that they needed to watch and analyze.

Tommy and Eddie were already friends, and Buck and Eddie were best friends, so it was easy for the three of them to hang out. Buck could get into wrestling, he liked karaoke trivia, and he was a big fan of learning Muay Thai. But that's where Eddie had a problem.

“Every time you come to Muay Thai,” Eddie whined, “you and Tommy end up going one round, get all horned up, and leave early.”

“All horned up?” Buck repeated with a glare. “What are we, fifteen?”

“You're banned from Muay Thai,” he declared, holding up a finger to silence Buck's incoming protests, “at least once a week.”

Then there was Hen, who Buck thought would care the least of them all.

He was wrong.

She became convinced that she was the reason he and Tommy ever got together, not Chimney.

“Chimney may have been the one to contact Tommy, but it was me who planted the seed in his head,” she'd say, “so I was actually the one who connected you two.”

It turns out Tommy and Karen also had a lot of similar interests, so one double date turned into regular double dates. Often, Karen was texting or calling Tommy to set up the next double date before Buck even knew a thing about it.

Hen also enjoyed Tommy's dry humor. They could battle back and forth for hours in sarcasm wars, and often enjoyed hating on the same things.

Even Ravi wedged his way into Tommy's life. He actually wanted flying lessons for other purposes than staring at Tommy for hours at a time while he rambled on about what each button did.

And Tommy was so kind, so insanely, annoyingly, kind that he always made time for everybody. Buck had no idea how he did it, but he did. He even always had time for Buck too, Buck just wanted more of it.

He knew it was selfish. He knew Tommy deserved to have all the friends and found family in the world, which is why he'd never say anything to him about it.

But, he could talk to Bobby. Ask Bobby to talk to the rest of the team, because he'd tried and they wouldn't listen to him. Or, maybe Bobby could just schedule him off a day where everyone else worked? Give Buck and Tommy a day where distractions weren't possible, because all of the distractions were busy at the station. Surely he could do something.

He should've known better.

The second he tapped on Bobby's office door, Bobby excitedly waved him in.

“It came in the mail today,” he declared, as if Buck was supposed to know what that meant.

“Wh- What came in the mail?” Buck asked cautiously as he sat down.

“The murder mystery game Tommy and I talked about last time you guys came over. I had no clue he was so into puzzles and mysteries. I already talked to Tommy, and you two are coming over for dinner tonight.”

“We are?” Buck asked. This was a lot of information to be thrown his way so quickly.

“Yes. Well, he actually said he'd ask you about it and then confirm, but you already said you didn't have plans earlier, so...”

He should've known that question was a trap. Bobby had asked what everyone's plans were while they were on the way to a call earlier in the day. Buck had answered that he and Tommy didn't have any, which was risky, but his mind went blank in the moment. His actual plans involved a lot of nudity, mind blowing sex, and hopefully some whipped cream, but he was trying to not be so blatant about his sex life anymore.

But now Bobby was looking at him with wide, excited eyes, and he did remember Tommy talking about that game, and Bobby's food was always so good, so it wasn't like he could say no.

“Yeah, of course it's fine.”

Which led them to now, having just enough time to shower and change before driving over to Bobby and Athena's place.

“I know we haven't had as much us time lately,” Tommy said as they reached the door. Of course he did. Of course he noticed everything. “So we'll stay for dinner, and do this game, and we'll go by nine.”

Buck tried to play it cool. “No rush.”

“Evan,” Tommy replied knowingly, dropping a kiss on his temple, “we'll go by nine.”

Who was Buck to argue? “Yeah... Yeah, okay.”

Dinner went smoothly, as if there was another option. Tommy was always great at keeping up conversation, and he and Bobby knew tons of people to reminisce about and catch up on. Tommy had a long history with Athena as well, and a lot of mutual respect between the two, so the conversation never stalled.

It wasn't like Buck was ever left out either. Bobby and Athena were his family; more of his parents than his actual parents. Bobby cared for him, loved him, watched over him in ways his father never did. Athena was a dose of reality when he needed it. She was stern, expected the best from him, and didn't whitewash anything. He felt more comfortable in their home than he ever did in the house he grew up in.

And Tommy always had a hand on his leg, or his back, including him in the conversation or bragging on whatever he did at work that week. When Buck talked, Tommy looked at him like nothing else existed in the world. He listened, hung on to every word.

He made Buck feel special.

Which is why Buck wanted to take him home, rip off all of his clothes, and adore every inch of his body.

He couldn't do that yet though, because it was only seven-thirty and they still had to play the murder mystery game.

It started innocently enough. It was a fun game with pictures, paperwork, some evidence, and background on all the suspects. Buck figured they'd read through the material, follow along, and they'd be led to the murderer in no time.

Then Bobby rolled out the cork board and began pinning suspect photographs and pictures from the “crime scene”.

Things devolved from there.

Athena gave up before nine. “I solve murders all day long, I don't want to do it all night too.”

Buck still held out hope they'd leave on time.

Another mistake.

“Hon, it's getting late,” Buck said a little after nine, gently patting Tommy's back. They were sitting beside one another at the dining room table. Buck had been half paying attention, half going through a Wikipedia rabbit hole that started with active US serial killers and had somehow ended up on the origins of duct tape. “Maybe we should let them get some rest.”

“Buck, we haven't solved the murder yet,” Bobby replied, lifting both of his hands to show all the paperwork. “Cassie's ex-boyfriend is a prime suspect, but I have no physical evidence to prove he did it.”

“I think we should look more into the circus clown,” Tommy replied, handing Bobby yet another piece of fictional paperwork. “I learned a long time ago that you never trust a clown.”

“We already cleared the clown. He had an alibi.”

“Did he though? His best friend, the balloon artist, was his alibi. The clown could've paid him off.”

That's when Buck decided he'd be better off slipping away and joining Athena in the living room.

“Would you like some leftover pie?” Athena asked, eyebrow raised knowingly, as she lifted up her own slice.

Buck nodded. “I got it.”

He returned a moment later, pie in hand, extra whipped cream. He sat down on the couch, across from where Athena was curled up on the loveseat.

“There's not much on right now,” Athena said, staring at the TV, “but these home improvement shows always find a way to reel me in.”

“As long as it's not a murder mystery, I'll enjoy it.”

Athena let out a laugh. “They're in it deep, aren't they?”

“I'm not sure an actual murder would take them away from that game.”

Athena shook her head, peering into the dining room. “Our boys are something else, aren't they?”

Buck smiled. He couldn't help the butterflies in his stomach. The night may not be going as planned, but there was something so sweet, so domestic, about it all.

Everything felt... right.

“Yeah,” he replied, “they're something.”

Two more shows started and ended, and Tommy and Bobby could still be heard in the other room, arguing about whether it was the clown or the ex.

“You know, I looked up that game a while ago,” Athena whispered into the darkness of the living room, the only light from flashes on the TV, “and it wasn't the clown or the ex.”

Buck sighed sleepily. “I think we'll be spending the night tonight,” he mumbled, his eyes slowly closing where he laid on the couch.

“Already made up the guest bedroom,” Athena replied, taking another sip of her drink. “New toothbrushes in the bathroom too.”

It'd be another two hours before Tommy would come and gently wake up Buck and lead him to the guest bedroom. They'd brush their teeth, and change into some of Bobby's pajama pants before snuggling in bed.

And then, before the sun rose, Tommy would be popping up from a dead sleep to exclaim, “It was the candlemaker!” before running out of the room, and apparently right into Bobby who- from the sounds of their mumbled laughter and high fives- had the same epiphany.

Yeah, Buck had a problem. And he hoped he had it for the rest of his life.

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

This fandom is actually so horrible when it comes to the multiple abuse victims in the series, because most of them are viscerally hated by the fandom for really stupid shit.

Winter is constantly labeled as a toxic abuser and like. I can understand not liking how he treated Moon, or any of the jade winglet in early arc 2 for that matter. What I do not understand is people ignoring that he is actively bettering himself just so they can keep hating him, or even just ignoring why he's like that to begin with. He's not mean because he likes being a jackass, he's mean because he's been taught that showing any care for other dragons, ESPECIALLY dragons of other tribes, is considered weak. It's something he has been trying to fix, but people would rather just keep calling him an abuser than acknowledge he is changing

Peril gets called an insane psychopath who doesn't deserve love which, first of all that's GOTTA be some form of ableism. Second of all, no fucking shit she is the way she is, the dragon who raised her manipulated her to believe she's a monster who will never be loved by other dragons. No fucking shit she got attached to the one dragon her age that showed her kindness, she thought that wasn't possible!! Also another case of the fandom chooses to ignore her healing just so they have a reason to keep hating her. "She's toxic and obsessed with Clay!!" It literally says in the god damn book she's so used to having a dragon to control her, and she is actively trying to stamp that habit out, why do we keep ignoring this

Boa is by far the worst victim of this because the fandom treats like scum of the earth not because of who she is, but because of one fucking decision she made. A decision she made in a state of panic. A decision she made because fuck, why SHOULD dragons have such power that can be used for evil so easily? Boa's entire EXISTENCE is an example of a dragon misusing their magic, why are we surprised she thinks the world is better off without it? She's not a bitch who thinks she knows better than everyone else, she's a terrified abuse victim who genuinely believed animus magic would bring the destruction of dragonkind. And look. I get the decision to remove animus magic was a stupid one. But can we please just acknowledge Tui was the one who made that stupid decision instead of pretending Boa is this awful person and the worst character in the series. Because she isn't. She's not an asshole. She's not a bitch. She made one bad decision and the fandom acts like she's satan incarnate

Im sure there may be more examples, these are just the biggest that come to mind

.

[romaritimeharbor]

a platonic writer? thats so awesome!!! for the open kny slots, would it be okay to ask for a reader & giyuu found family troupe? would be nice if reader was in their teens♪ mainly about the dynamic and perhaps post final battle

ELUSIVE CARE. — In which the Water Hashira unwittingly attains a younger sibling.

— trigger & content warnings. none applicable.

— pairings & notes. fluff, found family. tomioka giyuu & teen!reader. reader is gender neutral (they/them pronouns used). 1.1k words.

— author's thoughts. giyuu's so silly. such a guy. very older brother coded tbh <3

✧ FIRST MEETING

giyuu, though a quiet and reserved soul that often believes himself to be inadequate, is certainly not a heartless man nor is he one who cares too little (perhaps it could even be argued that he cares too much). he wouldn't ever let someone die if there was something he could do to prevent it, and maybe it is killing a demon that first leads him to the little teenager that he will one day grow fond of, [name].

his first instinct is, of course, to reunite them with their family if they have any living relatives. if that is not an option, his next instinct is to send them off somewhere he knows they'll be safe—maybe urokodaki needs someone to stay with him, a companion. he's always been a good caretaker even when not training a demon slayer to-be, and surely he gets lonely in his older age..? or maybe those girls at the butterfly estate would take them—shinobu's... nice enough. to young kids, that is. not him, of course, but he doesn't dare deny her kindness towards younger ones. she would probably be more than happy to take them in, or she would be pissed that he would have the audacity to ask something like that of her... but he still believes that she would do it.

ultimately, wherever he does leave them, it's almost guaranteed that he'll encounter them again. teenagers are rarely known for being obedient; as such, he would probably find them actively seeking him out at his estate. to thank him, to simply visit and stay for a while, to bring him gifts... they aren't annoying per se, but giyuu does wonder for how long he will have to endure it before their visits lessen in number.

he did save their life, so maybe he should just accept it.

and perhaps, once the final battle has passed and the greatest threat to the world has been eliminated, he will not be so opposed to having a regular guest. maybe he'll even ask them to stay.

✧ GENERAL DYNAMIC

giyuu is not known for being open and friendly. that said, i do think he would have some kind of a soft spot for a young kid who has suffered the effects of demons roaming the earth.

maybe he sees a little of himself in them. he wasn't always this way, you know? there was a time where he was softer, more open, and had a more positive outlook about the world. so maybe, just maybe, he sees some of that in the little teenager he saved from death.

his kindness shows in weird and hard to understand ways, and he would rarely make it obvious that he was checking up on them; he probably wouldn't visit often. that said, if [name] were to ask around, maybe they would hear about a recent influx of letters from a certain water hashira concerning a certain victim he recently saved.

as he grows closer to them, he would begin to buy them little trinkets. if he sees something he thinks they would like, he would totally pick it up for them and leave it by their room's door at wherever they're staying. he never signs the gifts, but it is nonetheless very clear who is buying them.

he also does what he can to ensure that they're well-cared for—contributing to the cost of caring for them, mainly.

giyuu, to me, seems like a very attentive person. he's a type i would describe as having a quiet love language—someone who does things subtly (more or less). so, while he does not verbally connect with them often, he can offer a listening ear and will always pick up on the small things.

headpats. giyuu is a headpat man. it's a fond gesture that he uses to communicate a number of things—'i'm proud of you,' 'good job,' 'you're alright now,' 'i'm here for you.' it's one way he communicates nonverbally. he's not great at expressing his care with words, but there are plenty of ways such as this one that are more than sufficient without the use of any words at all.

given that his haori is made up of two halves, each from someone he deeply cared for, i think it's safe to say that he has a certain sentimentality about him. any gifts they give to him will be treasured (and if they happen to give him something he can wear without getting in the way of his job, he'll find a way to incorporate it into his uniform).

he's quite fiercely protective of them. if someone is bothering them, giyuu is more than happy to simply stand behind them and give the one annoying them a simple stare, which is more than enough to solve the issue permanently. as a hashira, the lower ranked corps members are already rather scared of him, so he doesn't really have to do much at all to deter anyone from harassing them...

on a similar note, he will put extra care and attention into killing off any demons lingering around the area that they reside in. he's failed so many people before and is not keen on doing so again.

he would very much prefer if they didn't become a demon slayer, especially after his relationship with them has developed a little more. any attempts to ask him about joining would be cut off with a short, firm 'no.' though, with enough insistence... that answer could change.

ultimately, what they do is up to them, but giyuu would prefer that they stay as far out of harm's way as possible. not every victim is meant to, nor do they have to, become a demon slayer—he hopes they know and understand that above all else.

✧ POST-FINAL BATTLE

following the end of the final battle, giyuu would be a little more open with them in quite a few ways.

for one, he's more expressive, offering them something other than his usual stoicism every now and then—a smile. his expression in general softens significantly in their presence once everything is over.

he also grows a little more comfortable expressing himself verbally with them. he's still not exactly... articulate when it comes to expressing his care with words, but it's the thought and effort that counts.

he would also move them into his home at that point!! since he doesn't have to be away constantly now, he feels more comfortable having them stay with him. before, if a demon had showed up to his secluded estate while he was gone, it may have very well ended poorly, had they been staying there. given that this is no longer a concern (and he's also home far more often now), he doesn't mind the company whatsoever.

post-final battle, he would also spend more time around them. it would be then that they would really get to know him. his hobbies, his interests, maybe his past. eventually.

things take time. opening up takes time... and once muzan has been defeated, there is plenty of time for them to get closer with their elusive older brother-like figure.

please consider supporting me if you enjoyed! the best ways to do so are as follows: comments, asks, reblogs, and reblogs with tags.

[androdragynous]

I know i complained about the stardew valley penny and George cutscene at length but the it really is fucking. bizarre the lengths people will go to defend it because "the game lets you pick to side with him" (please do literally any reading about wheelchair use and realize why it's a problem that the game rewards you for moving someone without their consent.) or variants of that sentiment but then it's like. the rest of the cutscene is also So Weird

Like. Penny moves an old man in a wheelchair without asking him. He gets upset, she asks if you saw what happened The game prompts you to select from;

"I was. You did a kind thing there, Penny." (+50 friendship with Penny)

"I was. You should've asked instead of assuming George wanted help." (-50 friendship with Penny)

"I'm just taking a walk, minding my own business." (No effect on friendship.)

And these are the REVISED options. Before 1.4, the second option wasn't"you should have asked", it was "You should've left him alone. Now he's grumpy."

So already it's kind of shit. The person she's upset - who's entire existence in the game is experiencing inaccessibility, let's be real - because he was shoved without permission just for being in a wheelchair doesn't have his friendship level affected at all.

Regardless of which answer you pick, George apologizes (Penny does not apologize in every choice! But the guy she shoved does!) and says she was kind.

Once he's gone, she talks about how hard it must be to be old. It's worth noting, for what it's worth, that George has been using a wheelchair since a mining accident caused his immobility; it's not a result of age, and you learn about this whole he struggles with a bookshelf in his own home, where presumably he has been living with a wheelchair for at least two decades (given how he talks about his grandson), which is a whole different can of worms because why is this never addressed in a fictional community with multiple craftspeople who frequently do projects for each other?

Anyways. So Penny's like, damn, sucks that he's old. And the options the game gives you - all neutral in terms of friendship points - are:

"I'd rather not think about it."

"It's just a different part of life."

"That's why we should respect our elders."

"I'd rather die young..."

Like are you kidding me? You have a cutscene that's about being disabled - it's not about aging, because his disability was not caused by aging, it is explicitly and directly about the fact that he is in a wheelchair. And the game assumes your opinions will be "Not my problem,", "That's an old people thing,", and "I'D RATHER BE DEAD"? And this is something people just... don't remark on? Even in conversations ABOUT this cutscene? Like, George's mentions of being disabled are already Constantly Miserable -able-bodied writer standard quality - but the game is just like. Yeah you can say you'd rather be dead rather than express any positive sentiment about this guy surviving a traumatic mining accident. You can't say it's great that he's able to still be a part of the community in his chair, or renovate his house to make it accessible the way you can build ENTIRE HOMES for other characters. The community center you rebuild in the Good Ending for the community is only accessible by stairs. The path out of his home is dirt. It's the little things, y'know, like... obviously he wasn't thought about as his own character. The game's writing sees him as a source of conflict for others, and down to the very tiles of the terrain, he's irrelevant.

AND THEN THE TOWN DOCTOR DOES A HIPAA VIOLATION AND GETS SAD IF YOU SAY GEORGE SHOULD HAVE AGENCY OVER HIS OWN BODY. WHAT ARE WE FUCKING DOING HERE

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for continuing to try and reach out to my half-sibling, even though my mom "doesn't like it"?

So, I (20F) haven't known my dad, as he left when I was too young to remember it and then he died. I don't actually know much about him, or any relatives I have on that side (as my mom won't tell me much), but I know a few names, and specifically those of my half-siblings. One, who I'm calling S, is apparently my sister. I've known about her my whole life, and have wanted to contact her in some way also for a very long time. Well, I found S on Facebook when I decided I wanted to try and find anybody the other week, and have attempted reaching out. It's gone well so far, she's been really nice, but I haven't brought up the related part because I just don't know how. I tried to look up how to go about this, and most things I find just say to "not get your hopes up" and to "ask a relative for help", so... I asked my mom if she had any idea how I should go about that, since I don't know, and she's generally better at talking with people than I am.

My mom instead blew up at me, and told me that she doesn't like that I'm trying to reach out to S, doesn't like that I want to know anything about my dad, doesn't want me doing this, doesn't like me doing this, and that "not everything is about you you're not the only one who was affected by that". When I tried to ask for a reason why she doesn't want me to, all she had to say was that "it's not fair S had a dad and you didn't", and "they never helped or reached out to me even though they knew about you". (Though, I'm unsure how unbiased this statement might be, since she's always had a tendency to blame everyone close to people who have upset her for the one persons actions)

I haven't brought it up, but quite honestly I want to keep talking to S and try to bring it up anyways, but now I'm worried I'll be an asshole for it.

On one hand, I'm an adult and I think I deserve to try at least, and I think my mom's reasons shouldn't be impacting my choices (yeah it's unfair I didn't have a dad, but that's his fault not S's? and yeah no one helped her or anything before, but why does that mean I can't even try to reach out?), but on the other... Obviously this upsets her, and I think me wanting this has crossed some sort of line with her or something?

So... I guess, what do you people out here think? Would I be an asshole if I just ignored my mom and did it anyways?? Because I'm not sure anymore... (and apologies if this is "above tumblr's paygrade" or anything)

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

returning home

(cw: age gap 26/41; nsfw, mdni, smut, a bit of angst and drama, fluffiness and a lot of tears)

the part before: it's the parts of König that she didn't see

a/n: i'm sorry, this got a bit out of hand :') over 9k words, buckle in, we're in for a ride

I have been a mess those past four months. This has been the worst breakup of my life. I mean, not that I had that many partners before. And the only one I still sometimes cry after is my highschool sweetheart.

But this… we weren’t even an official thing. König and I spent a lot of time together in those few weeks, yes. But we never even clarified if we were in a relationship or not. Dating. Being exclusive. And sure, I was basically living at his place after only a week of knowing each other. But that didn’t mean anything in retrospect. Apparently.

You can’t really call in sick for a broken heart and I wasn’t able to leave my bed for a few days. Sleeping a lot, listening to all the sad love songs, barely eating. Until my mom came by, basically kicking me off my mattress. Forcing me – in a loving way – to get a grip and not mope around like a heartbroken mess.

The worst part was when I found one of his hoodies in between my stuff, I must have accidentally packed it with my clothes when I got everthing together, and it still smelled like him. It doesn't anymore because I have been wearing it nonstop when I'm at home. Not outside though, because the piece of clothing looks ridiculous on me with how big it is compared to my size. I could fit myself in there three times and the hem falls over my knees. If I press my face into the fabric, I still pick up hints of his scent. At least that’s what I tell myself.

The marks on my body faded too. The hickeys he left on my skin becoming fainter by each day, until they were gone.

I looked at all the pictures we took together. Well, more like, I took them and König is also in them. And the selfies we sent each other. The only ones I didn't keep were the filthy ones, because it felt wrong, so I deleted them. But I didn't have the heart to do that to the pictures of us, the ones that carried the memories. And it stopped hurting as much over time. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Lying in bed. The one he bought and we built together, because he broke mine. It's unfair, really, because he is gone and I can't escape him still. Repeating his words to me in my mind.

You should be with someone your age.

It never had been a topic for me, not something I would've spent a second thought on, at least not like this. But apparently, it had been on his mind.

Someone who can promise you that they'll come back every time.

And in the back of my mind there is still the little voice that wishes that he would just have had the guts to be with me. Despite the possibility of him not coming back in one piece, leaving me to mourn him. Because like this, he isn't in my life either. And I still worry about him, because there is no way for me to know that he still is in this life.

He didn't even want to hear my side of things. Or maybe he wanted to, but I was just too blindsided by it all, frozen in place as he “broke up” with me.

Afterwards, when I thought about what he said, I wanted to scream. To shout at him. Even if I could never really do that. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him and ask him, what the fuck he was thinking. Why the fuck he was thinking that.

Fuck. I’m so sorry, Liebes.

His apologies didn’t help either. Because I wanted to be mad at him. I was mad at him, and I still am. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Because even though I get it - I get what he was telling me - I still don’t fully understand.

And I remember the look on his face as he was crouched before me. When it became painfully clear that I couldn’t read him.

I never meant for this to go this far or… this deep.

Well, I didn’t either. But it did. And he left, even though he felt the same way. Or at least so I thought.

After a few weeks I finally feel better. I’m okay with how it is. That’s what I tell myself.

Not at all ready to go out on dates again. Not that there is any rush. Not that there had been that many occasions, but still. The thought alone of being with somebody that's not him…

I get back to work, meet my friends, hang out with my family, and when they ask me how I’m doing, I can convincingly tell them I’m okay.

Almost every night the thing on my mind before I fall asleep is him. Nothing, but him, and how I wish he was lying right next to me. I still just want him to come back.

And I know I’m not making any sense. It’s just gonna take some more time to get over this.

When I wake up one morning and see the messages on my phone, I don't even realize what they mean at first.

I'm coming back tomorrow I don't deserve you, but if there's any chance that you'd want to see me again... I’m landing at the airfield in [REDACTED], at 1130 I'm sorry, and I understand if you've moved on or maybe we can talk sometime this week if you're busy whatever works for you or maybe you don’t want to talk to me at all which is fine as well, of course just let me know in Liebe, König

I blink, reading the messages over and over again. The little incoherent ramble until it finally clicks. He's coming back.

I groan, putting the phone away, hiding my face in my hands. Contemplating what I should do as the possibility of seeing him again churns in my stomach. And all the emotions come flooding back, tears pricking in the corner of my eye. God damn it.

Men and women are disembarking from the aircraft and I crane my neck, looking for him.

I’ve been waiting here for some time cause they were running late. And I’m not the only one, there are quite a bunch of people waiting. Probably families and partners? They all seemed relaxed, at least more relaxed than me.

I’m hopping from one leg to the other, my hands feel a little clammy as I knead them. And honestly, I’m a little nauseous.

More people in gear than I would have thought come off the plane, meeting up with their relatives, mingling with each other or just leaving.

I already fear that I completely misunderstood his messages, but that couldn’t have been possible, right? Maybe I shouldn't have come here, and just told him I’ll see him some time this week, maybe I shou-

Two more figures emerge from the cargo hold, coming down the ramp. I don’t recognize the man on the right, but the one on the left…

Beige cargo-pants, protectors on the knees and shins. A simple longsleeved shirt, black of course, and a bulletproof vest. Gloves and more protectors on his arms. The band of bright red beads around his wrist.

The mask, the hood fashioned out of simple fabric, red streaks down underneath the eyeholes, held in place by the helmet atop his head. Hiding his face away.

Fuck.

I only saw a picture of him in gear once, when he showed me, but I still would have recognized him instantly. His tall build, the attitude with which he carries himself, gives him away. This get-up can’t hide it.

He stills. Frozen in place, and from the distance I can’t make out anything.

I just stand there, unsure if he already saw me. And I lift my hand, just a little wave, before I drop it again.

Shit, maybe I should have told him that I was coming.

But then he starts running towards me. A slight jog at first, his strides getting longer with every step. I can’t just stand here either, my legs almost moving on their own.

Dropping the bag that hung over his shoulder. His gloved hands are fumbling with his helmet, until he gets it off, just throwing it away, and pulling of the mask too, and when I see his face for the first time in month, I feel tears prick in the corner of my eyes. Running a little faster, only a few meters between us now. The skin around his eyes is smeared with eyeblack, his long hair is clinging to his head, as he also gets rid of the balaclava, just pushing it down, so it sits around his neck, and then…

He stops, just a step before me, not to run me over, but I don’t, jumping up, jumping into his arms, the full impact of my body against his not moving the big guy a little bit. I’m clinging onto his shoulders as he catches me in his embrace. I’m burying my face in his neck, and when his scent hits my nostrils, a little sharper than usual, gunpowder and sweat mixing with his warm soothing scent, the tears flow free, staining his balaclava, wetting his cheeks. Sobs are shaking me as he presses me against him, my legs hugging around his waist.

“I missed you so fucking much.”, he says, his deep voice shaky, and I can’t even answer because it just makes me cry more. “Ssssh, Liebes. Don’t cry.”, he tries to comfort me, but hearing his favourite term of endearment only lets the tears flow freely. “I didn’t wanna make you cry.”

“To-oo late for - that.”, I press out between two sobs.

“I’m so sorry, fuck.”, he sighs, his arms closing even tighter around me. “I don't know how I will ever make it up to you.” His gloved hand is softly caressing down my back.

“I missed you too.”, I finally manage to say, my voice thick with tears, pressing myself against him, and I never wanna let go.

But I need to pull back, only a little, just to look at him again. Touch him. Convince myself that this is real.

My vision is blurred, but that’s still him, his face so close to mine. His gaze intently on me, while one of my hands grabs him, my fingers caressing over his jaw, the stubble a little longer than I’m used to, the smudged black colour around the eye area making him look a little different. He leans into my palm, the eyebrows pulling up and the tension melting away.

His hand cups mine, his thumb softly caressing over it, such soft touches and another small sob is shaking me.

“I don’t want to overstep anything.”, he whispers. “But I would really like to kiss you.”

And I nod, not able to speak the words yet. And before he can lean in, I already press my lips to his. When my mouth meets his, and I taste the saltiness of my tears intermingling with his scent, the wave of relief that floods me is indescribable.

It's as soft as I remember, something that always surprised me. How soft his kisses are.

The way his lips press against mine, like he's searching for something, tasting me. Nipping at my lower lip, his nose rubbing against mine. His stubble scratching over my skin as he tilts his head.

He presses kisses to the corner of my mouth, my cheeks, my nose. All over my face, slowly drying up my tears, and I take a deep breath, calming myself down. He really is back.

When I finally take a look around, I realise that we’re off to the side a bit, but not that far away from the others on the tarmac, so… this must be quite the spectacle for his colleagues and the people who waited for them. Some of them are in tight hugs or talking with the civilians, but some are also looking in our direction, every once in a while. I don't have any time to feel self-conscious though, about being a teary mess.

And the guy who disembarked the aircraft with König comes our way, a little hesitantly, but smiling at us both.

“Köni.”, he says in a deep, but friendly voice, omitting the g in his name.

“Horangi.”, König says, setting me down, but keeping me close by his side, and I wouldn’t have moved an inch away.

The man in front of us is dressed in green and beige camo, quite different from what the big guy is wearing except for the pants. A similarly coloured balaclava around his neck and sporty sunglasses on his head, sitting on top of it in his hair, complete the look.

“I heard so much about you.”, he says lightly, addressing me.

“You did?” My eyebrows shoot up, almost colliding with my hairline.

He nods, grinning, not fazed at all by the threatening stare from König. “Yes. Every time he drank just a little too much, he wouldn't shut up about you.”, Horangi says. “You did a number on the guy.”

I don't know what to say to that at first, honestly a little gobsmacked. “I did?”

“Yeah, yeah, now fuck off.”, König says to Horangi, patting the other man’s back, the frown on his face turning into a grumpy smile.

“See ya, Colonel.”, he says with a grin. “Enjoy your leave.”, adding a little joking salute, before stomping off.

I wave after him, confused for a moment. Colonel?

“Don't mind him.”, König grumbles as I turn to him again, but he doesn't look mad in the slightest bit. “He doesn't know how to behave sometimes.”

My arms closing around his waist, and he repositions me a bit, so the straps on his bullet proof vest don’t press into my cheek.

“So, you really did miss me.”, I say pulling him tighter. Not a question, a statement.

“I did.”, he answers almost solemn as he brushes a stray strand of hair out of my face.

Some of the soldiers are still standing around, talking to each other and the people around them, but I can’t make out what they’re saying.

“They’re still looking.”, I whisper to him, unsure what that means.

“Yeah, cause they’re all seeing my face.”, he whispers back, smiling down at me.

Right, the hood!

“Oh shit, I forgot about the mask thing.”, I say, my hand clasping over my mouth. “I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine.”, he says softly. “They'll survive seeing my face. And I will too.”

“Right, still.”

“Don’t worry about it. I asked you to come here.” He pauses for a moment. “More on a whim, cause I didn’t really think you actually would.”

I take a deep breath. “To be honest, until this morning I didn’t know either.” My eyes pan up to meet his. When I woke up, I knew that I wanted to see him. But only when I got into my car, I called into work to take a personal day off and instead drove here.

“I’m glad you did.”, he says, holding my gaze.

“Me too.”, I whisper back.

“Cause Horangi was right. I was miserable.”

Just like I was. “Really?”, I ask him again, almost soundlessly.

“I was fucking miserable without you.”, he repeats, picking me up again and pressing another kiss to my lips.

I think I don't wanna leave his embrace ever again. But we still have stuff to talk about. Stuff to sort out. And we really can't do that here.

Plus his kisses have their usual effect. As the emotional turmoil and tears dissipate, a familiar feeling spreads through my body, my lower belly tensing up.

“You’re here in your car?”, he asks quietly in between two more kisses. Getting more desperate.

“Yeah.”, I say. “I parked it around the corner.”

“Okay, you wanna get out of here then?”

I just nod, kissing him again, and his little hum against my lips lets tingles erupt all over me. Then we're out of here.

Not before picking up his helmet and hood that he shed on the way, me still in his arms, getting his duffle bag, and I can’t help the little giggle escaping me, because he refuses to set me down when he bends down. Carrying me like I weigh nothing, also not willing to leave my side even for a moment.

On the way to the car, it gets even a little more heated and I’m glad when we turn the corner, hiding away from other eyes.

He’s taking huge strides, heading right for my car, that he spotted in an instant, the small silver one.

My fingers are tangled in his hair, his hands grabbing my ass and thighs, and I pull the car key out my pocket and unlock it. He opens the car door, lying me down on the cushioned seat and I scoot back to make room for him.

Reminders flood my brain how we did it in the back of his car, much bigger than the Toyota I drive. It’s way too small for him, but that doesn’t stop us.

I push off my shoes and get my pants off quickly as he climbs in over me, his shoulders pressing up against the roof of the car, while he sheds his protectors and gloves and shuts the door behind him.

A moment later, I’m folded in half, my knees against my chest, the feet up in the air brushing against the frame of the car. His hands gripping my thighs, spreading me for him.

König is eating me out like a starved man, soft mewls and grunts dropping from his lips, the vibrations of them against my sensitive skin.

“Oh fuck.”, I groan.

His hair is falling over his face, but I just want to see him, brushing the strands back. His gaze burning into me as he looks up at me, the eyeblack giving him a rugged look.

Desperately licking me, my juices glistening all over the lower part of his face. The stubble that is longer than usual is scratching against the insides of my thighs, but I don’t care about that right now, in the contrary, the soft scratch right there makes me even hotter.

It’s him. in this get-up, a little different than I was used to, but it’s him.

When he slips his fingers into me, his lips closing around my clit, sucking on the sensitive bud, something that always made me lose my mind fast, and this is no exception.

The way he fills me up, his thick digits stretching me. His tongue working my pussy, knowing exactly what makes me cry out. His mouth wandering, littering my inner thigh with kisses and hickeys.

The bites and nibbles send shivers down my body, my hips rutting forward, pushing my pussy into him. His arm comes over tummy, holding me in place, so I can't escape his touches.

“Yes, please, just-”, I sigh, and I can feels how he curls his fingers inside me, hitting just the right spot.

I come around them, my cries a bit too loud in my own ears in the small space, and I almost bump my head into the car door behind me as he doesn’t let up, but dives in again. His tongue is toying with my clit, dragging over it, slow, broad licks, and my body shakes and convulses.

“König…”, I plead, my hand tangled in his hair.

He finally pulls back a bit, still lapping everything up, even putting his own fingers in his mouth. His lips closing around them, his lids fluttering for just a moment.

“You taste so fucking good, Kleine.”, he whispers, not breaking eye contact as he meticulously licks my arousal off them, and I can’t help the blush on my face, especially when his tongues darts through between them. Fuck.

Instead of an answer, I pull him into me, to kiss him again, tasting myself on his lips, my hands dropping to his belt, fumbling with the clasp. I want more. I want him.

“Wait.”, he says, his hand coming over mine, I can feel the lingering wetness on them, and I still for a moment. “Shouldn’t we like…”

“You…. don’t want to?”

"No, of course I do, Liebes… I just want to do it right, you know? Make it right. In a proper bed."

I pull one of my eyebrows up. He thinks about that now after eating me out. "We can still do that later, no worries."

"But- I-"

"Yeah, that's all really noble, but right now I just need you." I kiss him again. "So shut up and fuck me. Please.", I say, still fumbling with his belt.

“I don’t have any condoms with me.”, he says, still not helping me to get his gear off.

I pull up an eyebrow. “And?” We did it raw many times, why would it be…

"Did you not... You didn't...?", he stammers, his eyes searching mine.

And then it dawns on me. "If you're gonna ask, if I slept with somebody else in the meantime, I suggest you don't. Because I fucking didn't." Adding after a moment’s pause: “Did you?”

"Fuck, no.”, he answers without hesitation, but his whole body is still shaken with agitation. “Fuck, I'm sorry, I just-" His hand strokes through his hair, exasperated, straightening up a bit and almost hitting his head on the roof of the car.

"König."

He stills, his eyes on me again and I can see the turmoil in them.

"I didn't want anybody else, I just wanted you back.", I say, my voice a little shaky. "And now that I've got you back, I just need to feel you. We can talk and do all the other stuff after getting home, okay?"

Home. The word slipped over my lips before I could think about it. It's out there before I can take it back.

He doesn't move a bit, just looks at me incredulously, and my hand shoots out to grab him which pulls him from his thoughts.

“I do not fucking deserve you.”, he whispers, and then it all happens very quickly. Pulling the zipper down and getting his dick out, the tip slipping between my folds.

He doesn't wait a moment longer and we both groan in unison when he slides into me, and the familiar feeling floods me, the stretch deliciously making me squirm.

Yet my eyes don't leave his for even a moment, not daring to close them, in case this is still a dream and he did not really come back.

But when he grasps my chin, tilting it up and leaning down to press his lips to mine, the tears that have been welling up again roll down my cheeks, the wetness blurring my vision.

I wipe them away, aggressively, a little mad at myself that I just can't stop crying. “Fuck, just… I-” I sigh. “Those fucking tears.”

He’s not saying anything, his thumb brushing over my cheek, a soothing gesture. His lips are peppering kisses all over my face as he starts to fuck me, slowly and sweetly.

I look down to where we are connected, seeing him push into me, seeing and feeling his dick slip into me. As deep as he can go.

With the position I’m in, folded in half, my belly is bulging with every thrust, just a bit, but still. And when he bottoms me out, time after time after time, I inadvertently squeeze around him.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”, he groans.

He’s not fucking me fast, more hard and deep. The sound of skin against skin when his lap collides with the plush of my thighs, loud and quite heavy. And I’m underneath him, framed by his strong arms, holding onto them.

Every single one of his thrusts lets a moan slip out of me, especially with how his pubic bone is pressing up against my sensitive clit, over and over again.

My breath hits his face, the look on it still a little incredulous, the almost enamored smile.

His breath is getting heavier too, rattling grunts shaking his chest. I wanna feel them, I wanna feel his rapid heartbeat against my fingertips. My hand slips under his vest, the other one holding onto it. The soft fabric of his compression shirt is warm, feeling his heartbeat strum against the palm of my hand, as I look up at him. Back in one piece. Alive.

The telltale signs how close he is are written on his face. The breath that halts in his throat every so often. The way his jaw drops. His brows draw together, not his usual frown, the ever-present scowl. Ecstasy visible on his features. And his eyes pressing together, for just a moment.

Looking down at me again, he’s still fucking me, my knees pressed up against my chest, his propped-up arms carrying most, but not all of his weight. My fingers are grabbing his bulletproof vest, needing him closer. The buttons of his waistband and the belt pressing into my ass with every thrust.

But all those sensations get overtaken when my second orgasm washes over me abruptly, just holding onto him, and I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, when he doesn’t stop. The pushes of his hips, how he rolls them into me, getting a little more desperate, almost losing the rhythm, as I clench around him.

He’s buried deep inside me, filling me up when he comes, and groans drop from his lips. His face contorting in pleasure. I missed his stupid face, and apparently I also missed his O-face.

He takes a big breath, backing off a bit, giving me a moment to reposition my legs. When his dick slips out of me, I sigh, feeling a bit empty and the wetness against my stomach as it rests over it.

His big heavy body slumps over me, and we just stay like that for a while. Cheek to cheek. My arms around his neck, his hands softly caressing down my body.

Maybe I could even stay like this forever.

Again I remember the time we did it on the backseat of his car, that was much more spacious. Half an eternity ago. Only the second time we ever did it.

Softly kissing now and then. The little sounds and our breath the only thing in the calm silence around us, until he breaks it.

“Can I take you home?”

“Yes.”, I answer without hesitation. We still have some stuff to sort out, and we should get going.

He’s zipping himself up, I put on my pants again, his cum seeping into my panties now, but I don’t even care and get into the driver’s seat, the doors close behind us.

And for once he is in the passenger’s seat, my car still way too small for the big man. It’s almost ridiculous how his stature fills the car. He almost has to duck his head like this, even without the helmet, dwarfing the whole space.

I chuckle a little, put on some music and start driving.

“So Colonel, huh?”, I ask him, pulling an eyebrow up.

“Yeah.”, he says, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t know why I never told you.”

“It’s okay.”, I say. “I guess, that doesn’t really matter in the civilian life.”

“It doesn’t.”, he agrees. “But it also feels like I wasn’t fully honest with you. Which is shitty.”

I clasp my hand over his for a moment, squeezing his fingers. A little reassurance. I don't care about his rank cause it doesn't change anything anyway, and I also never bothered to ask.

“So, I wouldn't get in trouble for insubordination if I called you Sir and not Colonel?”, I ask him, teasingly.

His brows furrow, that certain look in his eyes like always when I was being bratty - and I missed that too.

“You won't.”, he grumbles.

I can't help the little laugh. “Good to know.”

I look to the side, and there he is. It’s him, even in this get-up, it’s him. In my car.

And he’s grinning back at me, not as bright as I was used to, but still. I shake my head as I look back onto the street. He really is back.

I pull into the driveway, the sight of his house alone pulling at my heartstrings. The heavy feeling hits me, the lightheartedness I felt before taking a little hit, even before turning the motor off, getting out the car and heading inside.

He unlocks the door and goes inside, putting down the duffle bag, as I follow him. I stand around a little unsure, taking my shoes off, before heading to the living room.

When I see the couch, I have to swallow my emotions down, not ready to cry again. The memories come rushing back and I just need a moment to take it all in.

Heavy steps behind me, warmth emanating from his body. His presence so tangible, even when he’s not touching me. I’m still so tuned into him.

And I turn.

God damn, I almost forgot how big he is. He fills the doorframe that has been fit to his height. His shoulders seeming even broader in his gear. His head almost grazing the top of the frame.

And I have to tilt my head back to look up at him. We just stand here for a moment.

“I need to shower.. you, uh-”, he starts.

“I’m just gonna wait here, okay?”

He nods. “Yes, of course.” He hands me his phone. “You wanna order something to eat in the meantime? For us.”

“I can do that.”

“Pick whatever you like.”, he tells me before rushing up the stairs with huge strides, taking his bag with him.

I sigh and take a seat at the dinner table we barely ever used. Not daring to sit on the couch like I usually would have.

Unlocking his phone, only clicking on the delivery app, of course. Searching for his favourite take-out place, the grill with the nice little garden out back.

Does he deserve it? I don't know, maybe not. But I'm not gonna be petty over food. I’m adding another dessert for myself, though.

After I placed the order, I put his phone away, picking up mine instead. Scrolling on the usual apps, waiting because I don't know what else to do. He’s taking longer than I’m used to for the shower. And I can feel myself getting a bit restless. My mind coming back to the things he said. When he broke up with me and then today when he came back.

Heavy steps are coming down the stairs, him emerging in a get up I’m more used to, a simple black shirt and shorts.

His hair is still a bit wet, clinging to him in strands. He’s freshly shaved too, the stubble he had before gone. And I can smell the clean and sharp tone of his after-shave when he walks up to me.

“Food will be here soon.”, I tell him, because I don’t know what else to say.

“Okay, thank you.”

“Your favorite.”

“You didn't need to do that.”

“I know.” I hand him back his phone. “And I didn't snoop through it or anything.”

He nods, acknowledging my comment. “I trust you.” He steps a bit closer, taking it. “But you wouldn't have found anything noteworthy either. My phone is embarrassingly empty.” He looks up from the device, to me, a lopsided wry smile adorning his face. “Mostly work emails and photos of you I couldn't bring myself to delete.”

“Yeah?”

He nods.

“What’s the other stuff?”

“Photos of Mimi.” His smile is turning into a grin.

“That little minx. I should have known.”, I say exasperated, but jokingly.

He’s still standing there, swaying from one foot to the other ever so slightly, and almost wanna tell him to just sit down.

“I thought about calling you. I just didn't know what to say.”, he says, his voice quiet. “I wasn't even sure you'd pick up.”

“I don't know if I could have handled talking to you over the phone.”, I say carefully, but honestly. I probably wouldn’t have picked up.

He just nods. “I understand.”

“I actually didn’t know what to think when you texted me.”, I continue. “It was a lot. After a few months of no bleep, no nothing.”

“I wanted to text you. I just chickened out every time.”, he says. “But Horangi kicked some sense into me.”

“Does he do that often?”, I ask, biting back a grin, when remembering the conversation with him earlier. How he basically snitched on him, painting the a bit pathetic picture of drunk König who missed me so much that he wouldn't shut up about me. After he broke up with me of his own volition.

He tilts his head to the side, grudgingly admitting: “Sometimes.”

“And we all need friends like that sometimes.”, I say.

He laughs a little and confesses. “Yeah, he actually helped me phrase the messages because I just didn’t know how I-” He breaks off. “I meant everything I said though.” His eyes find mine again. “I would've understood if you didn't have time or if you just didn't wanna see me. But I still had to try. And I meant it earlier, when I said that I’m glad you came.”

The look on his face, almost pleading. And I feel the same way, but being here with him still feels a little… overwhelming.

“I-”

The doorbell ringing disrupts our conversation. He turns and hurries to the door. I can hear him talk to the delivery person as I get up and hurry to the kitchen to get plates and cutlery.

We’re both coming back a few moments later, setting everything down on the dinner table, taking a seat next to each other. Opening up the containers of food, laying everything out. Loading our plates up, my stomach grumbling. I hadn’t eaten all day, too anxious and nervous. I dig in, taking spoonsfuls of the veggies with rice, and I feel how his eyes are on me, how he’s watching me.

I meet his eyes when he breaks the silence again.

“I missed your birthday, didn't I?”, he asks, but judging from the look on his face he already knows the answer.

“Yeah, a few weeks ago.”, I say, nodding.

“Now there's ‘only’ 15 years between us.”, he says, matter-of-factly.

“There are.”, I agree. “But it doesn’t matter. 15, 16, what’s the difference.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

I put my fork down for a moment and just tell him outright what I have been thinking: “When I teased you, it was never about that. Our age difference never was an issue for me, you know. But I will never call you an old man again, if there is a chance that you will throw it in my face like that.” I pause. “Again.”

“I’m not gonna do that - again.”, he reassures me.

“Good.” I take a deep breath. “If I had known that this was plaguing you, I could have put your mind at ease. Or at least tried.”

“It’s not on you.”, he says with a sigh, his hand dragging over his face for just a moment, rubbing over his eyes. I can feel the frustration emanating off him. “I just- I tried to hide it.” Like he also tried to hide it when he had shit days. I wanna grab him by the shoulders and shake him.

“I figured. Because the whole… conversation came out of nowhere for me.”

“Yeah, I felt like such an asshole afterwards. I went about it the most blunt way. The whole thing anyway… it was a mistake.”, he continues, point-blank. “And I’m sorry for that.”

If we had this talk only weeks after he left, I would have been so mad still. The distance helped. It's also helping right now. Acknowledging that it had been a mistake, it doesn't make the "break up"-thing go away. But I feel like I still needed to hear that.

“It’s okay.”, I whisper.

He shakes his head. “It’s not.”, he says. “It wasn’t okay.”

“I know.” I reach for him, our fingers intertwining, my thumb softly caressing over the back of his hand. Our eyes meet and I can see his emotions in them, clearer than ever before. Not trying to hide them anymore. And I understand. A little smile stalks onto my face.

“Let’s just eat, okay?”

And I never have to tell him that twice.

After we finished up, he carries the plates and leftovers to the kitchen, refusing my help, and I finally take a seat on the big couch, slumping into the cushions.

König emerges in the doorframe, just standing there. Frozen in place. I put my phone down and for a moment we just look at each other. The same familiarity hits me, but the guilty look on his face tells me why he’s not moving an inch closer.

It's a bit ridiculous. We fucked, we ate together, we talked about some of the shit that went down. He apologized - again.

I softly pat the cushion beside me. “Come here.”

He’s taking a few steps, hesitatingly approaching and sitting down. But he stops there. I look up at him from the side, and I have never seen him so unsure. It's almost a little sweet.

Grabbing him, I pull him down to me and he just lets me. Positioning his head in my lap, cradling his face, and he lies down the feet dangling over the side of the couch. When my hand caresses over his chest, he sighs. Relaxing into the cushions. I can almost hear the weight drop from his shoulders as he melts into my touch. His hand clinging onto my arm. His brows turning up as he looks up at me.

For a moment we just sit in silence and I let the calmness flood me that his proximity brings. Playing with the long strands of his hair. Softly straightening out the waves that always form when they are freshly washed. Looking down at him.

“I don’t fucking deserve you.”, he whispers.

And there it is again. That sentence. It bothered me when I read it in the messages he sent. And then when he uttered them today.

I grab his face and make him look at me. Squishing his cheeks. “Don’t say that.”, I tell him, my voice trembling. “Don’t fucking say that.”

He stills, his eyes flitting between mine, his mouth dropping open a little.

“I didn’t- I…” I’ve almost never seen him speechless, but today every time I’ve said something that he seemingly didn’t expect he just looked at me like that.

“You think it's flattering or whatever. It’s not.”, I say, exasperated. “It’s like I’m on a fucking pedastal. It doesn’t make me fucking feel good, okay?”

“I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. I don’t need anymore “sorry”s from him. “You already thought that before you broke up with me, didn’t you?”

He hesitates for a moment before nodding. Silence between us as I only look at him, reading what’s in his eyes.

“Beating yourself up over this isn’t gonna make either of us feel better. I don’t want you to grovel like a beaten dog. I just want you to be honest with me what’s going on in this thick head of yours.” Tapping on said thick head.

“Yeah, you fucking hurt me by just dropping me off in my flat and fucking off because you thought it was the right thing for both of us. I don’t need you to think for me. I just need you to talk to me.” Damn, I’m laying into him right now, but I fear otherwise I’m not gonna get through the thickheaded stubborness.

“I didn’t mean to go over your head like I did. I was too in my own head already, so it was the only thing that made sense to me.”, he says as calmly as he manages. “I thought it was the right thing for you.”

“Because you didn’t deserve me anyways and I would be better off with someone else, right?”, I summarize. I can’t help but sound a little bitter. And I realise now that that was the thing that hurt me the most.

He nods again.

I feel the jab in my heart. Not knowing what to say to that. It's not nice to have the person you're with express the sentiment that you should be with someone else. Well, it’s pretty fucking far from nice.

He casts his eyes down, fidgeting with his wristband, not daring to look at me. And I can practically feel his self-deprecation prickling at my fingertips, the hand still lying on his chest, clearer than ever before.

“I thought I would be selfish to have you wait for me. And I realised that the opposite is true. I was a coward, I just fucking ran away.”, he sighs, and I can hear the shame in his voice.

His hand clasps over mine, squeezing my fingers.

“You did.”, I simply say.

“And it didn’t fucking solve anything.” He laughs, a barking joyless laugh. “For the first time in a long time it was worse without someone else, you know.” He pauses for a moment, finally looking up at me again. You don't need to be Sherlock to know who he's talking about.

I nod, swallowing back my emotions again, squeezing his hand back. “And it didn’t have to be like this.”

“Fuck. I know, I just- wanna kick myself every time I think about it.” An exhausted and frustrated sigh rising up from deep in his chest. “I don't know what I can say to make it all okay again. I don't know what to tell you to-”

“Just show me.”, I interrupt him before he can go down that spiral. He stills

“I’m gonna make it up to you, I swear.” His hand grabs mine a bit tighter. Pulling it up to his face and pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

I nod, a little smile stalking onto my face. “Okay, good.”, I say, adding a “And don't ever say you're undeserving again.”

“I won't.”

“Thank you.” I lean down and press a soft kiss to his lips, and he answers it like it holds the promise he just made.

When I pull back, I don’t get far cause he is cradling my cheek, not letting me go anywhere.

“Did anybody ever tell you that it’s hot when you get all bossy like that?”, he whispers, a small grin forming on his face.

“Yeah?”, I say, tongue in cheek. “You like getting ripped to shreds?”

“Only by you, Hexe.” which makes me laugh. “But I deserved it too.”, he says.

“You did a little bit.”, I say graciously, and we both laugh.

We just stay like this for a while, holding hands, and I can take a deep breath feeling most of the weight drop away from me that I felt walking into the living room.

He turns to the side, his cheek pressing against my belly as his arms close around me, around my waist. As close as he can get.

I’m brushing his hair out of his face, playing with it. Massaging his neck and shoulders, softly caressing.

He almost falls asleep like that, and I don't think I’ve ever seen him so peaceful. Deep calm breaths. Not a wrinkle on his forehead as I brush over it with my thumb. His eyebrows are turned up. Not even a hint of a frown on his face.

He grabs my hand, pressing sweet kisses to my fingers. “Stay with me.”, he whispers. “Please.”

“You sure?”, I ask.

He nods, not letting go of me. “I just want my bed and you in it, like I dreamed about those last few weeks. So… please?”

And it finally sinks in that the break was just as painful for him as it had been for me. Because I dreamed of the same thing. “Okay.”

He doesn't need anything else, just gets up off the couch, picking me up as well.

I can't help the giggle rising up my throat when my legs close around his hips and my lips find his neck, kissing the sensitive spots, the ones that always make him shiver. My fingertips are digging into his shoulders. The soft lingering touches I know will get him riled up.

He hums. “Glad to see that your ass is still as bratty as before.”, he grumbles, but he can't hide the grin as he playfully places the tiniest spank on said butt.

“Never.”, I tell him before he kicks open the bed room and lies me down on the bed.

We both scramble to get rid of our clothes, pulling them off quickly. He crawls over me, his dick nudging against my pussy while he settles between my thighs and his lips land on mine. His long hair falls over me like a veil, the tips tickling my naked skin.

His hand drops down, his fingers rubbing over my clit as he pushes into me. Carefully enough. And I sigh taking him in.

His mouth is coasting over my neck, making me shiver as he kisses, nibbles and bites. Leaving marks where anyone can see. Licking the sensitive skin, his tongue drawing wet tracks over it. His heavy breath hitting the shell of my ear as he pulls my head back and sucks on the sensitive spot right beneath it.

My fingers are digging into his shoulders and back, his muscles, leaving my own marks with my nails. Dropping down further until I grab his asscheeks, pulling him into me.

He chuckles, pushing deeper, his thrusts picking up pace. I arch my back to meet his movements, my chest against his, the sensations making me throw my head back.

His hand catches my chin, and he’s telling me: “Look at me, Liebes, please just look at me.”

My eyes meet his, a satisfied deep hum rising up his throat. And I never felt more at the center of anybody's attention than in that moment.

He turns, and suddenly I’m on top, riding him, my hands placed on his hairy chest. Slowly sliding up and down his length. One of his arms around my waist, the other on my ass guides me. I almost can't handle it, the way he fills me up in this position, his tip nudging against my cervix. But fuck. I have missed this.

Not just the sex. The closeness. The familiarity. Him.

König looks up at me, the same look on his face that I have seen a few times today, the one that I still can’t quite place what it means. But I love when he looks at me like that. If the warm fuzzy feeling in my chest is any indication.

We spend the rest of the day in bed, talking, fucking, listening to music, sometimes almost dozing off. Until it’s late, almost a bit too late.

My head is resting against his chest, his heartbeat strong and steady, his legs entangled with mine. His burly tattooed arms embracing me, pulling me against him. His cheek resting atop my forehead with the way I’m nuzzled into the crook of his neck, so his hair is tickling me when he moves a bit.

His body all around me, with nowhere else to go.

I didn’t like sleeping like this ever before I got to know him. But I really don’t mind anymore. I really don’t.

When I open my eyes the next morning, I need a moment to catch up where I am. König’s bedroom. In his bed, the soft sheets against my naked skin. I stretch a little and turn to the side, expecting to find him still fast asleep. But I’m greeted with a smile on his face, his eyes on me. Wide awake already.

“Good morning, Liebes.”, he says softly, catching my hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it, and I have to swallow to not instantly burst into tears.

“Hi.”, I answer, trying a little wobbly smile.

His hand shoots out and he caresses over my cheek. A simple gesture, one he did so many times before, but right now it has me crying again.

“Oh Liebes.”, he coos as he sees the tear rolling down my face.

“I swear, I don't wanna cry! I must be getting my period or something.”, I grumble while he presses kisses to my cheeks, softly kissing away the tears.

“I’m gonna make you laugh and come twice as much for every time you cried.”, he says, and the twinkle in his eyes tells me that he is joking, yet at the same time seeming earnest.

I break out in laughter. “That would be a lot of jokes and a lot of orgasms.”, I gasp out, wiping the wetness from my cheeks.

He leans down and gives me a kiss. “That’s okay. Cause I’m not going anywhere.” He pulls back a bit.

“Don't make any promises you can't keep.”, I say.

“I wouldn’t.”, he says, his voice serious and his gaze soft. “I promise.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“Now let me start with it. I already got a laugh out of you.”

“You insatiable man. Let me go get my teeth brushed first or-”

“No time!”, he exclaims, pulling away the blanket, to position himself between my legs.

I burst into laughter again, the sounds turning into moans when he pulls away my panties and puts his mouth on me.

“Another laugh… that means I need to keep up with the orgasms.”, he quips, mischief lighting up his eyes as his tongue dips into me.

I sigh, snuggling myself back into the comfy sheets, grinding my hips against his face. Meticulously he eats me out, getting all sloppy with it.

His hands are grabbing the swells of my ass, my legs over his shoulders, until he is buried between my thighs. They are littered with all the marks he left there. Faint bites and hickeys. And he’s leaving even more. Oh god, I missed them.

He spits once before his fingers push into me, soft squelching when he fills me up. I’m still a little sleepy, yawning once while I stretch. Meeting his movements and touches.

“Feels so good.”, I tell him, and a little smile forming on his lips as I look down at him.

“Yeah?”, he quips, his thumb rubbing over my clit while he fingerfucks me, slow and deliberately.

I barely can hold the eye contact, almost a little shy, although we did this what feels like a million times. “Yeah.”

He slips his fingers out of me, taking over with his mouth again. I feel the wetness on his fingers as he grabs my thigh again, his fingertips pressing into the plush.

In the time apart nothing had changed about this. It still feels like he has memorized every little part of me, which buttons to push to make me cry out.

His own moans and grunts give away just how much he enjoys this, and I don’t think I will ever get enough of him. Seeing how his hips restlessly move, almost fucking into the mattress, while his tongue dips into me, fucking into me, over and over again, it does something to me as well.

When he nips at my clit, I jolt, my hips lifting off the mattress, but he doesn’t let me go anywhere. Repeating the same move and I come on his face. My back arching, my fingers grabbing at the sheets, curses dropping from my lips.

With a deep breath I look at him again, the big man still very comfortable between my legs, his chin and lips glistening with moisture before he wipes it away.

“And that’s the first one.”, he says with a little grin, and I can’t help the little laugh.

I sit up and grab him. “Yeah, but it’s your turn now.”, I tell him as I pull him up to me, needing him closer.

A wry smile adorns his face. “I’m sorry, Liebes, I already...”

“You… what?”, I ask a little dumbfounded. Looking down while he sits back on his knees, his tummy all sticky, coated in his come. The sheets beneath him soiled, like he humped himself to completion spilling all over them, while eating me out. My jaw drops. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

This man. The lop-sided smirk, making him look younger than he is. The long hair all messy. Not ashamed in the slightest that he came like that, just eating me out.

“Just give me a few minutes, okay?” He grins down at me as he crawls over me. “And maybe a shower.”

“But I need to get to work!”, I tell him.

“Who said, you'll ever leave this house again?”

“König!”

“I’m keeping you.”, he says, like a definite statement, while he scoops me up and tosses me over his shoulder.

“Brute.”, I say poutily while I can't hold back my giggles.

He just laughs, grabbing my ass as he carries me to the bathroom. “Gonna fuck you in the shower, two birds with one stone. Still need to make you come one more time.”, he lays out his plan.

And I could never say no to that, could I?

We manage to be on time though, even drinking a coffee in the kitchen together, and then he drives me to work.

He also picks me up again, not ready to spend any possible moment apart.

The stupidest biggest grin stalks onto my face when I head out of the office and see his car already parked, faint drum and bass sounds penetrating through. I run up to it and open the door, recognizing the song as Shadow of Intent’s ‘Oudenophobia’, one of the songs I showed him some time ago.

I get into the passenger seat, his hands already grabbing me before I’m properly sitting. Pressing his lips to mine in a kiss. The simple greeting turning into something else with the way he kisses me. Like he doesn’t want to let go.

“Hi.”, I finally manage to say, a little out of breath.

“Sorry, missed you all day.”, he whispers apologetically, backing off a bit, just looking at me.

“No, come back here.”, I say, my hand grabbing his neck, fingers tangled in his hair, and I pull him down to me again for another kiss.

When he pulls back now, he’s grinning down at me. And I don’t need to tell him that I missed him too. He knows.

König straightens up in his seat, shifts the car into gear and pulls out of the parking lot. (The only thing he ever pulls out of, really)

“What’s the plan for today, Prinzesserl?”, he asks me then.

“Oh oh, there is this new Asian fusion place that opened up a few weeks ago.”, I say. “I haven’t been yet.”

He pulls up his eyebrows. “Asian fusion?”

“Yes.”, I say. “They have all kinds of stuff from all over.”

“Spring rolls too?”

“I bet.” I grin up at him.

“Then let’s go.”, he says, the expression on his face mirroring mine.

I sit back, crossing my legs and snuggling into my seat. His hand lands on my thigh and mine clasps over it.

It’s like he never left. Well almost, at least.

And I know that not everything’s forgotten. It doesn’t work like that. My heart is content, but my mind is still catching up. Sometimes thinking about what he said when he left. The promises he made when he came back. Working out how this relationship between us will be from now on. Working with him on that, for both our sakes.

Because despite what happened and my efforts while he was gone... I still do love him.

And we both deserve it.

the whole story in the Masterlist

i'm sorry, i'm so in love with this man that isn't real :') (well, he is, in my mind)

[jeffreyfrancoeur]

one of the things that made me saddest about this back half of season 3, and really the season as a whole, is we never really got happy pen and colin. happy pen and colin carefree, married, in love. the closest we got was them dancing alone in the church after the banns were read. everything else had something hanging over them.

in part 1, it was tension first because of pen telling colin she overheard him, then it was tension because of debling and colin helping pen find suitors (which....what was the point of that plot? why did it have to take four fucking episodes?), and ended with tension of debling proposing and colin cutting in. to tell pen that he loves her and wants to marry her.

then...in part 2, the lady whistledown of it all hits them as soon as they announce to colin's family that they're engaged. because eloise knows. because the show decided to have eloise find out about whistledown before colin. and for him to not find out before he proposes. because eloise ends up giving the ultimatum of midnight that night. (which she was fully in her right to, she knows her brother and knows her friend--even if they're not friends at the current moment--and knows how unfair it is to colin that she have this big secret that she's keeping from him, that she's the one who's been writing nasty things about his family, his failed engagement, HIM, herself, her family, etc for years now, and that colin deserves the right to know all of her and know if she's someone he can truly love.) because they were in this "honeymoon" period, but she TOLD colin, she fucknig told him that she had something she wanted to tell him, and then kept not....telling him. he kept asking about it. she kept evading. he knew something was up. so he couldn't be fully happy. not really.

and then. he finds out. he figures it out. she never does tell him. it's right before their wedding and he still doesn't know. she never gave him the care, the grace, the courtesy of telling him this big secret. and i know in the book he finds out because he followed her to the printer and not because she told him, but they were also not engaged at that point. they were still friends. friends who had kissed, once, but friends. but in the show? when eloise knew, that she told eloise that she wanted to tell him, that she's going to give it up, and then she spends two/three episodes realizing she misses the power and she can't give it up. ma'am. miss.

and then...after he finds out, he sleeps on the couch. he sleeps on the couch for days? weeks? and not once, not once does pen fight for him. not once does she ask him to stay, not when he comes in to get a pillow and a blanket. he is hurting, alone, by himself, taking care of himself as he has spent his entire life doing. they're married and living in the same house and they're not happy. which is understandable. but she doesn't try to make it better.

at the wedding's reception, they dance together. penelope asks him to dance with her in the middle of the room. that should be a happy moment. it should be. it was a beautiful shot, and on the outside, they're happy. but there's still the lady whistledown of it all.

we get "that was bloody brilliant" after her speech in front of the ball, but colin wasn't by her side for it. in the end, lady whistledown is a triumph (gag me, please. let her continue her writing as an author. a journalist. a novelist. let her and colin write together. anything but keeping up a gossip column under your own name!), and colin is just a pawn in the game that is lady whistledown.

i wanted more happy moments for my favorite couple. i'm sad i didn't get them.

[penspolin]

Why Sophie won't be genderbent, exploring sexuality in Bridgerton

I've gathered some evidence for why Sophie will not be genderbent in S4. None of these are confirmed, of course, but I think this should help to alleviate concerns.

Probably the most obvious - they've already risked a lot by gender bending one character (Michael), so I don't foresee them doing it again.

Directly tied to reason 1, the show already made a change from Book!Benedict this season by making him canon bisexual. That is already one substantial change, and I personally don't see them giving both Francesca and Benedict gender bent endgames.

Directly tied to Benedict's sexuality, there is one particular scene that stands out a lot: during Benedict's last conversation with Tilley, he explicitly says that gender does not matter to him.

"Paul could be Patricia, or Polly, or Peter, or all three at once."

I'd argue this was included 1) to convey his sexuality directly to the audience through dialogue itself, 2) to highlight his concept of freedom, and 3) to emphasize that this experience is a bisexual (pansexual, potentially) awakening, not a homosexual one. I've noticed a standard in media to give characters an LGBTQ+ experience that confirms to them that they've never really liked the other gender (in this case, women) all along, they were just "playing pretend." But what we know very well by now from Benedict is that he doesn't play by society's game. If he was not attracted to women, he would not have been pursuing them for so long. Benedict having an LGBTQ+ experience this season makes him so happy because he's finally grasping at the freedom he once found in art. There is a lightness to Benedict in the last two episodes of S3 because he's broken through a barrier, admitted to a core part of himself, and lived the way he wants to, away from the watchful eye of society, in direct opposition to what society deems "appropriate."

Contrast Benedict's sexuality to what we've seen of Francesca, who has never expressed such explicit interest in both genders. Up to this point, she is a societal conformant, and we witness her struggle with that. While I do think she harbors deep feelings of love for John, her last scene with Michaela indicates that her love for him isn't romantic. It's also important to note - Benedict has had previous experience with a gay man; as far as we know, Francesca has never interacted with a member of the LGBTQ+ community and thus does not carry that same knowledge. As we've seen with other plots in Bridgerton, women were not often privy to the same knowledge and experiences as men (shielded, so to speak), and so her understanding of sexuality could be understandably limited.

4. Went off on a tangent there, but the final reason why I don't think Sophie will be genderbent: Sophie's identity as a bastard and maid derives conflict from her gender. Men, even illegitimate ones of wealthy families, were typically fairly well-off. I hardly think the bastard son of an Earl would be immediately cast out and turned into a maid or servant. Additionally, Jess Brownell has indicated that she doesn't want to mess with the books "too much," and while she's made some gender and sexuality changes, I do not foresee her changing something so pivotal. For this backstory to present conflict, Sophie must remain a woman.

[ohmycale]

I guess I am alive again...

I have not been in the fandom for quite some time due to life and many things happening in real life. Somebody in real life asked to read and comment on a post defending Deruth. It's a good read and I agree on most of it. Which even surprising that I'm writing this. I hope I would not offend anyone if I would just highlight some of the things I read that make me think. A bit of a long post incoming

I agree that he's an okay parent...for any other child and any other time except during Jour's death. But since ogCale was a neglected child by most adults around him (during and after this time), especially his parents, I would beg to differ. And here I am thinking that parents try their best even at their worst times. Tbh, the post feels like an excuse Deruth's neglect like many posts that I have read. Just another one who handwave neglect and worse, treat it as something so trivial. Neglect is treated as something so minor that should be waived by time or force. Assuming that we're not holding Deruth on a pedestal, why is an apology for his failings such a bad thing to do, fathom or even ask for?

Father and child were both grieving but it seems that it was only Deruth's grief that mattered. Nobody gave a shit for the child who had his life upside down from losing his mother, ignored by his father, and got a new family that he was (for intents and purposes at that time) didn't even ask for. Because Deruth moved on, everyone, especially Cale, has to. Because of a new family, og!cale never said anything coz he'd probably be answered by 'Don't you want your father (Deruth) to be happy?' (classic line for stepkids) If that's the feedback, why bother opening up and saying something? Og!Cale will be the bad guy for expressing such thoughts and feelings. In real life blended families, it's the parents who facilitate everything including communication. It's the adults who should be guiding the children and have control of the situation. Also, let's not forget that it was Deruth who distanced himself from og!Cale first and never bothered to patch their relationship and issues even to the point that og!cale changed a lot aka Roksu appeared.

I understand that people are not at their best selves when grieving. I was the same. But I am not an adult nor a parent. I didn't have a child that I had to care for or be responsible for. It might have been hard, but it would not sit on my conscience to burden a kid with my messy emotions or pull away. Because pulling away from a person who thought they were loved by you leads them to think that they are at fault. At the very least, og!cale deserved a conversation about his mother's passing and his father's actions at that time.

I don't care about the worst father list. As mentioned before, Deruth only gets the benefit of the doubt already because he is kind and trying. Trying but didn’t succeed. For me, his trying is not for readers to judge, His effort should only matter to og!cale and whether it is enough to absolve Deruth for his failings.

I agree that both Deruth and og!cale are bad at communicating. Deruth did set the precedent of not communicating and pulling away.

The first few chapters show that he cares for his son in his way. Yeah, but he's not reaching his son, does he? They barely had a functioning relationship and we're supposed to congratulate him? As a reader, we get it that he cares for his son. But if we ask Deruth, should he be happier that he’s winning over strangers rather than the person he's trying to care for? And if Deruth is on speaking terms with og!Cale to his son, it’s not gonna be that hard to bring out a topic or issues.

Not touching the Violan bit because she is his stepmother (and stepfamilies are so complex and hard) and to be honest, a better adult than her husband,

8. You can also argue that Deruth didn't try hard enough. He does try. He's not just good efficient as exemplified by the post. He doesn't speak about the things that matter to them both but does the indirect and inefficient ways. He shouldn't be surprised if keeps trying bad ways to reconcile and act surprised when it fails.

9. So for parents to try harder doesn't usually end up with a heart-to-heart talk unless the other wants to talk. It's a risk that a parent has to take - either grab them by the horns or be miserable trying to communicate via the mind. And suffer the odds for the risk.

Re Basen and Lily. I am ambivalent about them. It’s not because they were kids or they did something bad to og!cale. For some people, especially the people who were left by their parents to have a do-over family, they are a symbol. I mean, sans og!Cale, Deruth is winning. He has a new family – a wife that shares his burden, a (spare) son for the county, a daughter that he might have wished for. There are real fathers and mothers who abandon their original families/children because THEY CAN. Is it projecting? Absolutely effing lutely. Is it reasonable enough to expect? Yes. Because Deruth is a flawed human being who already showed that he CAN abandon og!Cale if he so wished. And nobody can stop or even disapprove of him because of his status and position. It is good that Deruth in the story defies this but he’s still doing the BARE MINIMUM.

Overall, whether Deruth is a bad father will be a recurring conversation topic for the fandom. There are many viewpoints but I always always side with the views most relevant and applicable to og!Cale even it might be biased. If og!Cale is here with us, I am sure he will be more than happy to tell us what he thinks.

But we don’t. Any opinion, even the scathing and unpopular ones, deserves merit. It’s good that fandom is not a monolith especially in this because this topic and og!cale’s experiences are so relatable.

Here’s a summary of my stand

Being a good parent to Basen and Lily doesn’t mean he was a good father to og!Cale even if og!Cale does love him

Og!Cale doesn’t need to forgive or forget what Deruth did in the worst time of their lives because he loves him

Deruth is afraid, I get that. But if he remains afraid, his hope for reconciliation isn’t gonna pan out as he hopes to.

Deruth needs to accept that there is a chance it is too late.

Deruth needs to accept consequences for the negative things he gave to og!cale, unintentional or not. Even if og!Cale understands why he did what he did.

Did I just log into my dormant account to post this? Yes.

Is this longer than I intended? Also, yes.

Are my fanfic bunnies dead yet? Maybe.

Hope somebody enjoys this one.

[theoneandonlypjofanatic]

well shit, the girl i've liked for a while just texted me and said she liked me

friendly reminder that she also ruined my life

anw, here's some percico to heal the soul (yours and mine)

...

And if you're feelin' lonely,

You should tell me,

Before this ends up as another memory.

...

"Hey." That's all Percy says. There's no need to say more, because a simple greeting is enough for Nico to know the whole story.

"Morning," he says, and suddenly, they're tangled together, a mess of limbs and clothes. Nico smiles, warmly, or maybe that's just how it makes Percy feel. "I missed you," Nico says, breathlessly, and the sight is something he wants to engrave in his brain.

He ruffles the younger boy's hair. "So did I," he says, and picks Nico up, which is a bit harder to do since the last time. He hasn't lifted anything heavier than a small backpack in a while. He hasn't felt like it, anyway, since Annabeth told him she was over it. He regrets it, because now he's out of practice and his arms are going to be aching like Tartarus tomorrow.

"Percy!" Nico says, giggling. "Put me down!"

His giddiness is infectious, and Percy finds himself smiling so much his face hurts. He hasn't smiled in a while, too. He regrets that even more. "Not yet, Neeks. I'm gonna show you something."

He carries Nico like that, all the way to the small Christmas tree he and his mom spent so much time putting up and decorating. The ornaments are a mish-mash of the ones he and Estelle made, and the ones they'd had since forever. Percy likes that a lot; it relates the past and the present, two things he always finds so different.

He sets Nico down. "That," he says, "Is what I wanted to show you."

Percy sits on the couch. Nico doesn't move, doesn't say anything, just stares at the tree in awe. He's pretty sure Nico has never had a proper Christmas (or doesn't remember having one), so maybe this is just new for him.

"Do you like it?" Percy asks, slightly worried. Nico still hasn't moved.

"It's beautiful," he says, transfixed. Percy chuckles. "Yeah," he says, and it's another time when something so simple can convey a hundred different other things, from Thank you to So are you.

This is one of the few times where Nico doesn't get all of those meanings.

This is one of the few times where Percy allows himself to wonder what they could've been, to take in the sight of Nico like it would be his last.

This is one of the few times where he forgets that Nico can never be his.

[imaginingbleach]

Random Assortment of Captains Proposing

Included: Shunsui, Suì-Fēng, Shinji, Byakuya, Mayuri, Rukia

Shunsui Kyoraku

One would expect this man to be over the top with his proposal, but you would be surprised to find out it's nothing like you would expect.

Even before becoming head captain, this still held true.

While he believes the world should know how special you are to him, he also wants certain things to be more personal and private.

He can shout how he feels for you to the high heavens, but he wants special occasions to be just between the two of you-- maybe a small group of friends and family at largest.

It would likely happen some quiet evening in the middle of winter when the snow is gently coming down just outside...

The two of you were snuggled up together next to a gently roaring fire.

You didn't need a blanket with how warm he was as he had his arms wrapped around you.

You were starting to lull off into a very soft slumber, struggling to stay awake between the comfort of you boyfriend and the warmth between him and the fire.

He had thought a lot about when and where he should ask you, but the way you looked snuggled up into his chest?

He couldn't stand it.

You were so cute and you looked so perfect there with him...

"Hey, sorry to wake you, but I wanna ask you something," he spoke gently, waking you from your faint slumber.

"Mmf? Wha's up?" You'd slur out, eyes not even managing to open at first.

It was when he didn't immediately respond that you would open your eyes, blinking slowly and looking at him.

"Will you marry me?"

A mix of something between a squeak and a gasp escaped you, his question definitely waking you up.

"I-" your brain was going faster than you could verbally reply-- but his calm demeanor helped relax you enough to manage the simplest and yet most important reply you could give him, "yes"

Suì-Fēng

She thinks she's being secretive about her plans to propose, but she's sorely mistaken.

Maybe in regards to you

However, her entire squad and the stealth force absolutely know.

In fact, they would be doing whatever they could to try to give her hints.

"Oh, yeah, Captain! I got a new ring from-" not very subtle, but he does like to wear jewelry and the ring doesn't look awful-

Maybe of the members would have casual 'conversations' while conveniently walking past her.

"The cherry blossom trees are beautiful in-" "There's a fireworks festival this weekend-"

The squad knew you well enough to know how to suggest things they thought you might like.

She's a bit too caught up in the moment to fully notice what they're doing...

When she does propose, she chose your favorite time of year or favorite holiday.

It doesn't matter how tall you are, she would position herself so she could wrap her arms around your shoulders from behind.

She would pull a cute little box out in front of your face and simply asks if you'll be hers.

You're shocked for a moment, but gladly accept and turn around to kiss her happily.

Some time after she finally proposed... She realized just what her squad had done.

She's a little annoyed but doesn't punish anyone so long as they don't bring it up. Omaeda.

Shinji Hirako

Okay... This man is so in love with you it's absolutely fucking ridiculous.

He has imagined and daydreamed about how he might propose to you and how your wedding might go...

It's always the same in his mind so he has idea of a perfect proposal and the most wonderful wedding and...

Something always seems to happen.

It could be big or small, but he just has never been able to get the timing right!

He had it all planned out, he had a ring, he had a spot, even down to what season he wanted it to happen in!

It would have been a beautiful little day together where he would propose at sunset! Or sunrise! That all depended on what happened 😉

Nevertheless!

Every. Single. Time! Bad weather, you were busy! He was sick! He had duties! There was a war going on!

So, when it finally does happen... It's not exactly the most romantic extravagant over the top proposal...

But it's extremely fitting for Shinji.

You had just woken up, the smell of food enticing you towards the kitchen to eat.

He was sitting there with a cup of tea, watching as you stumbled towards the table with your eyes barely open and hair an absolute mess.

To him; this scene was just pure perfection. It was so domestic... It filled him with warmth.

"We should get married," he would blurt out, smiling at you.

"W... Wha? I, wha?" You were so shocked you had dropped your piece of toast, whining as it fell buttered side down onto the floor. "Shinji... It's too early for jokes," you would grumble; now upset you had accidentally wasted food.

"I'm not joking," he would grin and pull out a little pristine box he had been carrying since the day he bought it.

He would sweetly say your name and open the box to show you the ring, his usual grin soon spreading over his features. "Will you make me the 3rd happiest man in Connecticut and marry me?"

"We're not in Connecticut!!!" You would exclaim through laughter, wiping the tears from your eyes. "Yes, stupid... You're also banned from the Internet."

"Hey, you know you love me~ and it made you giggle, so it's not all that bad." He would wrap his arms around you, cheek pressed against yours and gently putting the ring on.

You both made up a story about what happened because you didn't want to have to explain the layers of his stupid proposal. (You both think back on it fondly, though.)

Byakuya Kuchiki

One may think it would take him a while to propose, but that would be quite the opposite of the truth.

What takes him a while is allowing himself to open up to you enough to realize he has feelings for you...

He guards his emotions carefully, especially after the death of Hisana...

But when he's in a relationship with you?

He genuinely cherishes the idea of being called your husband.

He would tell you that when you are ready and feel comfortable with the idea, he would be honored to marry you.

He tells you this up front since it's taken him so long to even accept the relationship, so he already knows he can see himself being with you for the rest of his life.

Because of this, you don't get the whole 'surprise proposal', but you do get to do a lot of things together.

When you admit that the idea of marriage sounds like something you'd like, he takes you to get rings with him.

Though he's used to a more traditional Japanese style wedding, he is open to hearing your thoughts.

He likely puts in more work than you do planning, mostly because he wants to make it perfect for you.

A big extravagant wedding? Done.

A small wedding with only the closest friends and family? That's perfect too.

He wants you to be happy, since he's already decided a while ago that he wants to repay the happiness you've given him tenfold.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

He is an interesting one to say the least.

His way of proposing is far from straight forward and even those closest to him who understand him might not see it as such.

Of course, being his partner means he comes to you with complaints about his subordinates or how his research isn't going the way he wants...

That's not unusual.

What is unusual, is how he gives you random little strange gifts.

Well, one wouldn't call them gifts so much...

You'll notice something interesting on his table and make a comment about it.

He'll tell you it was something from a failed experiment and they if you wanted it you could have it.

There was no experiment.

He got it because he knew you'd like it.

He can't say that though, right?

Anyway, through some long winded convoluted explanation you would end up with a ring.

You would end up unintentionally giving him answers to all the important wedding planning stuff and you wouldn't even know it.

You end up finding out because you snuck into his office one day to surprise him with something and you saw his calendar.

It definitely came as a mild shock at first, but somehow you weren't entirely surprised.

Instead you decided to continue to act oblivious up to the day of the wedding. You had to have some fun with it!

Rukia Kuchiki

Rukia's way of proposing is absolutely adorable and definitely reflects a lot of her personality.

It takes her a bit to decide on the best course of action...

She has been gathering all the important information she would need over the years, after all.

She knows your ring size, your clothing size, your shoe size, your favorite color-- the works!

So, the most important part of everything is the how she does it.

She decided on a date: whatever winter holiday is your favorite.

It just so happened to be snowing that day, which she thought was absolutely perfect.

Whether it was a gift giving holiday or not: she got you one and had it wrapped nicely!

When you opened it, it was a pair of stuffed animals hugging.

One was a rabbit and the other was your favorite animal!

They were velcroed in a way that they could come apart, and when you pulled them apart to see, a small box fell out from between them.

Rukia would kneel down and pick up the box, gently holding it up to you before opening it.

"Will you marry me?"

You said yes, but you also laughed and cried. It was so cute you couldn't help it.

[iamnmbr3]

Who's alphard black and why do you ship him woth tom riddle? I'm just curious

*Gasps* What? What do you mean you don't know who Alphard Black, the star of this singular line in the whole series is?

Jkjk. Ok so Alphard Black gets mentioned once in the books (in the above line from Order of the Phoenix) and also appears in the offical Black family tree here:

Obviously that makes him a very minor character. Although it is interesting that we know he never married and produced children as would have probably been the norm for purebloods (*cough* "confirmed bachelor" *cough*) and that he never left the family/was disowned over ideology the way Andromeda or Sirius were, but also doesn't seem to have been mentioned as one of the ones who was actively involved in the Death Eater cause, apparently maintained something of a relationship with Sirius and even left him money even though he'd already left home and broken with his family over their politics (which apparently angered Sirus's mom so much that she burned him off the tapestry, and thus obviously wasn't the expected thing). He also is in the age range to have attended school with Tom Riddle.

That all provides some interesting fodder to work with. Which but for a twist of fate I never would have thought twice about or even noticed because once upon a time I, like you, would also have said "who is Alphard Black and why would anyone ship him with Tom Riddle?" In fact I did say just that to myself when I came across the fic Amulette d'amour by @therealvinelle and @thecarnivorousmuffinmeta.

I can't even remember how I happened to stumble across it. It was purely by chance. "What a wild and random concept for a pairing" I thought with a level of naivety and hubris that would shortly spell my downfall right into rarepair hell. "I'll just take a look out of curiosity" I thought.

Well the fic was both amazing and hilarious and contained a brilliant characterization of Alphard (and Tom) and a fascinating relationship dynamic which I have now decided is canon and I am now stuck shipping an extremely rare pairing to the hilt and having to explain to people why one of my all time favorite characters is mentioned precisely once in 7 books. You should totally read the fic though so that you, too, can suffer. Tom & Alphard are dysfunctional soulmates and Alphard is also genuinely a fascinating character (as he now exists in my head and in the few fics he appears in). It's canon in my heart. I am also deeply entertained by the humor potential of the ship.

[thewickedblackcat]

Lautski Howl's Moving Castle AU!

I have had this idea for a while now and I know someone else had mention this idea as well a couple weeks back. (I forget who it was exactly though, sorry.) While this would mostly be close to the movie, this AU would not be a detail for detail as the movie. Somethings would be change in an attempt to fit with the characters. (Whether or not it's a good attempt is another story.)

Peter as Sophie Steph as Howl

(I don’t own anything.) Sources: 1 2 or 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

(Click on the "Keep Reading" to hear the main details about this AU)

Peter

Pete works in town as a hatmaker. He often tries to keep to himself in an attempt to keep from not getting bullied but that doesn't work. It doesn't help that he's not originally from here as he and his parents moved into town a few years back after his older brother, Ted, disappeared. It was supposedly to have a fresh start (but may had also been to keep Pete safe from whatever or who happened to Ted.) Between the bullying and not having many friends in a place that doesn’t feel like home, Pete has low self confidence.

Pete is saved from his bullies one day by a mystery girl with magic. Pete has never seen her before but she seemed to match the description of Stephanie Lauter, a witch with a reputation of mischief and trouble. After getting rid of Pete's bullies, the two have a run-in with a colorful bunch who seem to be after Steph. Pete and Steph are able to escape and Steph seems to drop Pete off at a safe area.

When Pete returns to the shop at night, he is approached by a strange man dressed all in yellow. (Man may not be the right word as he seemed to have goat horns and eyes.) At first, Pete tries to politely escort the man out of the shop. Until the man drops out how Pete may appear as a behaved boy, he's just a b*stard like his brother. As Pete realize who this man is, he tries to move away but the man quickly pulls out a small yellow box that instantly flashes a bright yellow light. Pete is immediately hit with the light and falls to the ground. When he opens his eyes again, the man is gone and the shop is back to what it was before. However, as Pete starts to get up, he notices he feels soar and slower. It isn't until he looks in to a nearby mirror that he realize why. He has been transformed into an old man. As he is horrified by this realization, he can hear the man's voice in his head. Say hi to Step-an-ie for me. Tick-tock, Petey, Tick-tock.

The next morning, after realizing it's not a dream, Pete travels out of town to find a cure for his curse. On his journey, he runs into a middle age homeless man. The homeless man seems to stare him, almost like he has seen Pete before. While first frightened by the homeless man, Pete does give him some change as he feels pity for him, being in a similar situation. In appreciation, the homeless man tells Pete to look for "the moving steel beast" in the hills for help with magic. Even though he is confused by this, Pete does head for the hills as it's his only lead so far. When he reaches the hills, he finds Steph's moving castle. He goes in as night falls even though he is unsure if he should see Steph again.

When he goes into the castle, he meets a small white spider by the fire place, who introduces herself as Webby. She seems to know that Pete is under a powerful curse and offers to break his curse under one condition: he helps Steph. After some debating, Pete agrees to the deal and starts to work at the castle as a cleaner.

Steph

Stephanie Lauter has never been strong with magic, despite come from a strong line of witches and wizards. She is often viewed as a disappointment by her father, the Head Sorcerer of the Kingdom, Solomon. Things changes when she is twelve. She overhears her father making a deal with the Lords in Black to heighten tensions between the fellow kingdom of Clivesdale to the point of a war. For Solomon, it’s to remain in power and to have the reputation of taking down Clivesdale. However, the Lords in Black to suck all of the magic out of both sides (soldier and civilian alike) so that they regain power and take over both kingdoms. After hearing this, Steph runs away.

After she escaped, Steph meets Webby in the woods. Webby, being low on power right now, offers to connect with Steph so that they both could stop Solomon and the Lords. However, she warns that since Steph isn’t a full magic user, Webby’s magic would over power and corrupt her. Steph, wanting to stop her father, takes the deal.

At first, Steph is able to slow down Solomon’s plan. But as the years go by, the Lords become more powerful and Steph is finding it harder to control her power. As Steph is starting to lose hope in herself, she runs away more. It doesn’t help at all that more damage from Solomon and the Lords, the more helpless she feels.

Fearing that Steph will lose herself to the magic soon, Webby decides that they need to find help to stop the Lords and free Steph from the magic.

Other Details to Know (In No Order)

Richie and Ruth would both be in at the castle as Steph’s apprentices/assistants. Richie always had an interest for magic and had asked (more like begged) Steph to be her apprentice. After seeing what his life was like, Steph decided to him up on his request. Webby questioned with Steph related to Richie’s life, while Steph said it was just stop his begging. Ruth was a different story though. Ruth was once a witch but Solomon had her magic drained out of her. He would claim it was because she selfishly used her magic. All she wanted to do was be an actress. Steph took her in out of guilt.

Steph would transform into a large spider, not a raven like in the movie.

Like in the movie, Pete can’t say anything about the curse.

As it’s pretty easy to tell, Ted/the Homeless Man is Turnip Head, popping in every so often. Spoilers: after the Lords are taken down in the end, Ted does somewhat get better. (A kind of happy ending for Ted!? What’s that?)

The rumors about Steph would mostly be Solomon’s creation to make people trust Steph less. Though, some of them were created by Steph because why not.

Steph wouldn't have a tantrum like in the movie. Instead, it would be a panic attack. Pete, being there before, helps her out of it. As Pete hold Steph to comfort her, Richie and Ruth swear for a brief moment, they see a young man holding Steph.

A running gag in the story is the group would state that they’re stopping the war to just save their kingdom, but not for Clivesdale. Because f-Clivesdale.

(Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.)

[katlyntheartist]

If there is one thing you’d change about the Sonic movies, what would it be?

The human characters. Tom and Maddie, for as fine as their performances are, don't really have much personality to them. They mostly serve as Sonic's caretakers but that's mostly it. We never get to see much of their interests or their personalities or character, aside from fanfics which take the time to flesh them out as actual people with hobbies and interests. Especially with Tom in the first movie, I would have liked to see the moment where he changes from seeing himself as Sonic's friend to seeing himself as Sonic's father figure.

I'm mad at the Knuckles show for not having Maddie try to bond more with Knuckles. She said at the end of the second movie that she liked him and that he made her laugh. Instead of her going bad sitcom mom and getting mad at Knuckles when he chased away the workers or when made the throne out of her car, she should have sat down with him and had a conversation about why those things aren't ok and how things on Earth are different from his home. We could have had Maddie try to reach out to Knuckles only for him to close her off because he doesn't see her or Tom or even Tails and Sonic as his new tribe yet. He's still learning to adjust and feels like he doesn't belong. This has been covered better in fanfics so that's all I'm going to say about that. Also the show should have cut back to Maddie, Sonic, and Tails trying to fins Knuckles but realizing that G.U.N has ben spying on them, and they go to confront Walters about it. I understand that budgetary issues and actor schedules were probably the main reason why this didn't happen and thus 'twas not to be.

I'd also adjust Rachel's character a bit. She teeters on the line between a very funny and sassy aunt who can kick butt and break ankles to almost being a generic angry black woman who's personality is just being angry and wanting Maddie to divorce Tom.

No surprise to anyone who's read my fan comic but Jojo should have gotten to spend more time with Sonic in the first movie and should have been introduced to Knuckles and Tails in the second movie. She's a very sweet character and her actress is great, I just wished that the writers did more with her instead of just making her like every other super sweet character you see in media. I want mid 2000s Kim Possible vibes for Jojo, a girly-girl who likes makeup and dresses and is genuinely sweet and kind but if you tick her off or if she sees you hurting her friends, she will absolutely break your ankles. Like mother, like daughter :)

In the Knuckles show she should have been given a cameo or a hint to the audience that she had regular playdates with Sonic or something like that. I hope that we get more of her in the third Sonic movie but I'm not getting my hopes up too high.

[blacklegsanjiii]

i love lunarian!sanji!!! i read the fic too and as soon as i saw the ask i knew they must have read it and gosh now i keep imagining a baby winged sanji and his traumatized dad fleeing germa and vegapunk and getting separated smhow and finally reuniting on a battlefield where they are supposed to be enemies. and like what if, like in the fic, sanji and king are the ones who fight each other? would they fight each other? or would they feel more loyalty to their respective captains? how would the aftermath of wano's liberation look like for king the wildfire? gosh, do the strawhats even know king is sanji's dad?

Hey sorry this took forever to get to but I want to address they did fight. Sanji fought King in the raid suit which probably did something to King, BUT!!!! If Sanji fought King instead of Zoro? Gods the heartbreak. Let's take it from the top though! For the ultimate heartbreak!

Alber breaking them out and running with bruised and battered son and his wings are atrophied so he can't fly so they sail away from the monsters. Alber is working on fixing his wings and his son so they can fly and be more comfortable. They do eventually start flying together, Alber has to teach Sanji how to fly but it's relatively instinctive for them and he learns to fly quickly. They fly more often than not, dodging the government and Germa and Vegapunk. Then they're separated by a freak storm, the winds throwing them around and they can't hear each other.

Sanji finds himself on the cruise liner and Albermakes his way to Wano after unsuccessfully finding his son and losing him. He takes the name King and mourns his son. Everything goes the way it normally does until Sanji insists on settling this with King. Because they're both hurt, they've fought once already, Sanji felt abandoned and King thought he was dead. They need to talk but they need to fight as well.

I feel like the fight would be a lot of screaming and yelling about Sanji using Germa tech, King thinking he was dead, Sanji feeling like he's been abandoned again. Sanji breaks the raid suit and looks at King because something is wrong, terribly wrong, and they both know it and maybe in a moment of tenderness King gives him a moment to breathe which is when Sanji makes the call and the death pact, which angers the elder to the point of telling his Sanji he won't need the swordsman because he'll kill him here and now.

He doesn't though. King looks at Sanji after the fight, who is terrified of what has happened, of fighting King and how it's all so fresh after WCI that Sanji feels like he's losing it and can't keep finding those who abandoned him, hurt him in one way or another. King probably reaches for Sanji but Sanji bolts away. King decides to help the Strawhat crew, to start righting some of his wrongs.

He shocks the crew after the raid and Kaido is defeated and is presenting the crew and Yamato his services as part of the fleet. Sanji is staring at his dad as he is talking to Luffy and Yamato and Luffy is like 'Heh, sure! Sanji's dad can be part of the fleet! But you should talk to Zeff!' and Zoro comments that's where Sanji's wings came from and Nami looks so dead. She is exhausted and asks Sanji how many dads he could possibly have and Sanji says he only has two people he considers his father and Judge isn't one of them, don't worry, Darling.

Also I feel like Sanji would fly Nami around Wano or other islands to get more accurate maps. I don't know, I feel like I needed to put that here.