#and she got genuinely invested in the books

[woolydemon]

having mutuals that are into warriorcat books means I see discourse posts like "berrywhisker was MEAN and said a slur and killed bunnytoes and if u like them ur a misogynist" and I'm like "uh-huh yeah uh-huh. Ok. My cat would do that too"

[entitled-fangirl]

Sweet little nothings.

Felix Catton x reader

Summary: Felix does sweet things absentmindedly for the reader, making her fall more and more in love with him.

Words: 679

Warning: Talk of someone saying something rude, suggestive comment

Author's note: This is an ask based off of this wonderful post!

Masterlist <3

...............................................................................

“Did you eat today, angel?”

It was a genuine question, one that Felix asked often. His beautiful girl looked up from her book, a slight blush on her cheeks.

“Oh, uh… I…. I don’t think so.”

He leaned back in his chair, a small smile on his face. She was too precious. Too sweet. She couldn’t even remember to eat she was so invested in the day’s activities. 

He stood, grabbing her wrist gently to pull her up next to him. He then pulled her against him, kissing her gently on the nose, his voice a low whisper. “D’wanna eat here or out?”

She looked up at him, meeting his pretty brown eyes with her own. “…out? I… I need out of the house… if that’s alright?”

He grinned, “That’s more than alright, angel. Go get your coat.”

She didn’t hesitate to do so. She pulled the jacket around her, fumbling with the zipper hurriedly.

He walked to her calmly, placing his hands over hers. “I got it.” He then easily zips her coat for her. His arms wrap around her neck, fixing the hood. “There, angel. You ready?”

…

The two sat in the restaurant, quietly enjoying their meals. 

“So… he said what to you?”

She shrugged. “It was stupid. I don’t think about it often.”

His eyebrows pull together as he sets his fork down, “Well, does it bother you?”

She sighs, twirling her own fork in her hand, “It did at the time. Now? I don’t know, Lex. It’s fine.”

It was his turn to sigh as his hand moved up to cradle her cheek gently. “It’s not fine if it bothers you, angel. He shouldn’t have said that.” 

She stares at the nearly empty plate in front of them, a distant look in her eyes. 

His thumb moves up her cheek, lightly brushing a crumb from her face. “I mean it. Say the word, and I’ll make sure he apologizes. Truly.”

She lets out a soft laugh, “It was almost a year ago, Lex. He probably doesn’t remember.”

“Oh, he will when I remind him.” He lifts his fork, stabbing the last piece of their shared steak. He holds it out in front of her face. “C’mon. You need the protein.”

She leans forward slightly, her lips wrapping around the fork, taking the piece graciously. 

He smiles, “Let’s say we pay the bill then head back to Saltburn. I have a little surprise for you, angel.”

She was thrown off, but agreed nonetheless. 

…

The servants opened the front doors to the mansion, letting the couple walk in. She happily let him pull her to one of the many living areas, this one in particular being his favorite one. 

He pulls her in front of his body to give her the first view before his arms move over her shoulders, pushing the doors open. 

A huge bouquet of flowers sat on the coffee table near the couch. Her favorite snack sat on a tray next to it. She was speechless. “You… you did this? For… me?”

He wore the happiest grin. “Indeed, I did. Well, Duncan helped, of course. Now, go on, angel.”

She walked further into the room before she stopped again. Her favorite movie sat on the TV, waiting to be watched. She spun around to look at him. “Lex, this is incredible! But… why?”

He shrugged moving to pull her into his arms again. “Don’t need a reason. Just wanted to. Besides, I know you’ve been wanting me to watch this movie, and what better way to do so?”

She hugged him tightly before whispering in his ear, “If you keep this up, I don’t think we’ll be watching much of the next movie.”

He grinned, pulling her to the couch to begin their movie night together. 

…

Duncan came in once to check on the couple. 

The girl lay against the boy, her head resting on his chest as she slumbered. The boy, however, continued to watch the movie reverently, his fingers moving in her hair as if a natural instinct.

.............................................................................

[pomegranatesandtangerines]

based off this post

how I think (some of) the Dungeon Meshi characters would interact with an isekai-ed reader who's hyperfixation is dungeon meshi

includes: Laios, Falin, Kabru, and Toshiro (Shuro)

Laios

im imaging reader meeting him when he was a child

a little after Falin was born and after he was given the dungeon gourmet guide

reader actively seeking him out but kinda starts freaking out when they actually see him

reader decides to go with the approach being interested in his book

Laios was suspicious at first ( the book is one of the main reasons he got bullied )

but after some time and patience he got comfortable with you

I feel that Laios would be very attached to reader

like someone besides his sister who gets him, listens to him, communicates with him, etc.

listen as someone who is very hyperfixated on dungeon meshi at the moment I would be so invested in learning about monsters

and Laios is more then happy to talk about it for hours

reader making a point to support his dream of exploring the dungeons bc his parents are dicks

he wouldn't really be weirded out by reader seems to know so much about him, maybe early on but over time I feel he would just be glad to have someone like that by his side

low-key though,,, I think there would be a small small part of him that is kinda jealous over how reader seems to just,, get some people

Falin

I see reader being her number one hype-person as a child

reader would also beg her to teach them some magic

I think that Falin and reader would meet through Laios

Falin while she is outcasted from her home town, is still a litter more sociable then her brother

but what had her truly open up was not only the readers support of her magical talent but also the readers interest in learning about how biology works in this world

she also info dumps a ton

you know how she kept bringing Marcille things cause she wanted to eat them with her

she would 100% do that with reader,,, and the amount would increase when Laios leaves

Kabru

he would be veryyy fascinated by the reader

his hyperfixation is people. studying them, their anatomy, psychology, how they tick

he would absolutely notice how reader picks up on things, knows things about some people without even having met them, predict events

to put it simply he wants to study reader under a microscope but is also extremely suspicious of them

he's also gonna pull out all the stops to try charm his way into understanding reader

his distrust sky rockets the first time they lock eyes, he can see it in his eyes, this look of understanding the deepest parts of him

he does not like it

it takes a long ass time for him trust them and genuinely open up again

reader making a point to ask things that will make him want to info dump

"hey did you notice how x was acting today" or "did you hear that x and y got together? do you think they'll make it?"

gossip buddies

Toshiro

ALRIGHT LET ME START BY SAYING THIS, HE IS WAYYYY TOO MISCHARACTERIZED IN THIS FANDOM

and reader would be all too aware of this as well

he is heavily implied to have a hyperfixation on bugs, and had to at a young age become a master at masking and picking up on social norms

but anyways-

he would think reader is weird, mostly bc they would remind him of laios

slowly but surely I feel he would feel more comfortable

another case of the way to his heart is through the info dump

maybe walking back from a little adventure and noticing a beetle and showing him

now hes not gonna be as outwardly as excited as Laios

but it is slightly noticeable that he is interested and excited

reader offers to give it to him and asks him some questions

less info dumping and more info sprinkling but still he does like to talk about it

I think he would appreciate how they seem to pick up on his smaller details, maybe not a perfectly but still

[solarspunk]

never a lukabeth(?) shipper because gross and not why annabeth loves luke at all but the LACK of relationship exposition between the two of them in the show is PISSING me off genuinely. luke and annabeth's relationship is CRUCIAL to the conflict Luke has with the gods and his subsequent redemption, as well as the entire driving force for book 3,4, and 5. it was a relationship that percy was jealous of, not simply because he liked her romantically but because it was a side of Annabeth that he never got to see and a type of bond that he never had with her, despite going through so much together.

letting Luke say "oh Annabeth and I are like family" and then never even let them interact with each other makes absolutely NO SENSE. this lack of relationship exposition between the two of them completely takes away Annabeth's emotional investment when facing Hermes and explaining May's curse. its PAINFUL for her to talk about them because it PAINS Luke and she can TELL.

if you're not gonna build up their relationship, why do we waste precious screen time with Hermes and make the Lotus Casino Scene so... meh??? When it could have been fun and whimsy and silly and the kids can take a shower and hear some weirdo say groovy and realize gambling is a trap!!!??

It also robs Annabeth of such character depth in PAINS ME. shes just a girl. shes awkward and have crushes and is emotional and is scared of losing people she loves. shes not just "six step ahead of everyone child soldier prodigy" MY GOD.

and of course i love seeing percabeth on my tv but dear LORD having luke say "youre like an old married couple" is SO OUT OF CHARACTER and to have Annabeth not even respond flustered or embarrassed?????? ITS THE SLOW BURN OF THE CENTURY I DO NOT NEED YOU TO HAMMER IT INTO MY HEAD THAT THEYRE MARRIED AT 12. I FIGURED THAT OUT WHEN HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF TWICE FOR A GIRL HE JUST MET.

[bebe-writes-stuff]

Hey lovely!! I love your work and I was wondering if you can do a baji x reader smut with like a friends to lovers where he gets jealous when one of his friends make a move on you as a joke but he can’t take it seeing y/n all happy’ with a. Anna that’s not him and can u please include where someone walks in on them at the end and he says something about how they became a couple like someone walks in and he he’s like “ can you ye out I’m trying to help my girlfriend clean up!” I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHH I have read so much of ur stuff BbBbdbdbbdbd

Ima be honest, I wrote this when I was high so like, idek if this makes sense

Jealous! Baji x Reader (Smut)

Annoyed by your lack of attention, he huffed and puffed, and you still didn't say anything,

"What are you even reading that you are so invested in?" He muttered glancing at your book before pouting and setting his eyes aside.

"Huh, you don't know?" You turned to him and showed him your book cover.

Romeo and Juliet

"Ew, what the hell. Who the hell even reads that in their free time." He cringed at your sappy choice of book taste.

"Shut up will you, it's for the Drama Club. It's the annual play, other schools come and parents also come. I auditioned for fun, but I got the main role, Juliet." You explained, before someone abruptly opened the empty classroom door, it was lunch time.

"Woah, Y/n, did you actually join the annual play?!" It was Chifuyu, he was breathing and seemed...flustered.

"Oh, yeah. how'd you know?" You asked, tilting your head a little worried.

"The flyers are literally being passed out everywhere, look!" He unrolled the flyer and then slammed it on one of the desks.

You took a peek before,

"Woah.."

"Huh?-"

It was you and Ryusei Satou on the cover. You had a dagger in your hand aimed high at yourself as you knelt on your dead lover's body, Ryusei was lying on the floor with poison that fell in drops from his mouth, the tragic fate of Romeo and Juliet. On the cover, you looked just so beautiful, you looked alluring. Your eyes were magnetic, drawing people in with a combination of elegance and genuine warmth. Baji understood why you would be Juliet, no one fit better, you were beautiful both in and out, gentle, graceful, oh he could go on and on about you. He never liked to admit it, he loved you too much. But why was that asshole Ryusei, Romeo, he thought angrily.

The next couple of weeks, Baji has barely seen you. So imagine how he felt when he heard that the entire time you were with Ryusei practicing for the upcoming play. Almost as if you cheated on him, not like you were dating anyway. He didn't mean to stop, he really didn't. But when he heard your voice from outside the theater room, he stopped to listen. Even your voice made him flushed and nervous. However, he froze when he peeked in and saw how Ryusei had you in his arms as he performed dramatically. You were smiling and laughing even. You looked so happy with another guy, it broke his heart. He felt like punching him, or anyone at this point. It was now after school, Chifuyu stopped by Baji's apartment to study for upcoming exams and projects. Then he asked when he noticed how Baji seemed more angry than usual.

"Are you upset that Y/n and Ryusei are gonna kiss?" he shouldn't have said that.

"WHAT, THEY KISS?!" He shouted

"Ohh, I shouldn't have said that..."

"She can't- No- UGHH CAN SHE QUIT THAT STUPID PLAY ALREADY?" Baji groaned, throwing his books to the side before slamming his head on his desk.

"This is so stupid." He pulled onto his hair. He stopped and turned to Chifuyu, who muttered something.

"You got something to say?"

"Baji, she was gonna ask you to do the auditions with her but you turned her down for the gang, Also the play is in a couple days so I think it's too late to pull out now." He repeated himself, a little anxious.

Wait, he thought, was it that one time? Shit, he does remember when he turned down your request, you looked so sad and he promised to make it up to you, which he forgot to do. Fuck.

Now, it was Chifuyu's turn to be worried because of Baji's sudden absences. He couldn't be that affecting because of a silly play, right? C'mon that's Toman's First Division Captain, he can't be acting all childish and clingy when it comes to you, right? Wrong, he was in his room walking back and forth, whining about it.

Baji stayed home the day of the play, until he got a text from Chifuyu.

-- Holy shit, there's so many people at the school dude!"

He groaned and put his phone down, obviously people came. You were too unreal, too siren-like. He heard a knock on his door, it was his mom.

"Chifuyu told me what's been going on. I'm not here to talk to you because in truth, I think you deserve it. You had a chance and you wasted it and made her wait. And you know worst of all, YOU DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT UP TO HER, and here you are being all childish and sad about the consequences to your own actions. If I were you, I would take my ass there and make it up to her." She scolded him, maybe it sounded harsh, but it was out of love, she was sad that he was putting himself through this.

"yeah, LIKE I KNOW HOW. AT THIS POINT, just let them be." He sighed defeated,

"Don't give me that bull. You know how Kei, I know what you've been doing." She said in a smug motherly tone.

He felt his face grow hot quickly as he glanced at the copy of the play he had read.

Stupid, he thought

He heard his mother's footsteps fade as she walked away once their conversation died out. She was right, Baji knew what to do, and he was gonna make it up to you, tonight!

Backstage, you were nervous, shaking even. You were wearing a silky and fancy long nightgown. It was a scene where you are on the balcony of your room confessing your love to the hidden Romeo as he listens to your heart-filled speech. The play was nearing its end, which meant it was closing to where you had to kiss Romeo or more specifically, Ryusei. Which you found extremely awkward. You noticed Chifuyu in the crowd earlier in the play, he was waving and cheering. However, it saddened you how Baji didn't come, he probably had another important gang meeting, you thought. It was the final scene now. You were getting ready to step on stage before you heard some ruckus in the background, before you had time to figure out. The play started and you stepped onto the stage. You talked clearly and passionately, You called out to your lover, this is when Ryusei was to step out and capture you in a breathtaking kiss after some sensual words. You waited, but no one came out. You called out again, nervously.

Suddenly, from the opposing curtain, he walked out. The stage lighting made the moment feel unreal, wait am I imagining this? Why was the one that stepped out of the curtain, it was Baji, it was really Baji. You gasped before you continued with your act. it was subtle but you glanced at Chifuyu who seemed also equally confused. Finally, the play was gonna end, the last scene was a recreation of the Flyer. Romeo and Juliets end. You stabbed yourself with Romeo's dagger as you fell onto Romeo's poisoned body. The crowd roared with 'woos" and cheers as they applauded loudly. You felt hands grip your waist, Baji whispered,

"Y/n, meet me in the costume closet after this. It's important."

What the hell was going on? you thought, first, Baji is distancing himself from you, then he shows up randomly in the play you in AND KISSES YOU. and NOW, he wants to talk to you alone after the play. But if you wanted to find out, you'd have to confront him. It was later after the show now, you were in front of the costume closet, no one was back there. You took a deep breath before entering, Baji was waiting, leaning against the wall.

"Hey Baji, what's up?"

"Keisuke, My name's Keisuke."

"Ookay...Keisuke."

He hated how awkward you seemed around him, he wanted you to laugh and smile like how you were with Ryusei. He sighed as he stood up and approached you, suddenly you were pushed against one of the walls.

"Y/n, do you hate me?" He whispered, coming in closer, leaving little space between your lips.

No, quite the opposite actually, you thought, but you couldn't say that. You just looked to the side avoiding his gaze. He gritted his teeth harshly

"Look at me damnit!" He growled as he forced you to look at him directly.

"Tch, you like this don't you?" He smirked as he toyed with you. He grabbed your face, roughly and chuckled. You glanced at his lips as you both closed in on each other, your eyes locked in an electric gaze, anticipation hung in the air like a delicate melody. The world seemed to pause as your lips met, creating an intimate universe where only the soft whispers of your breaths and the tender exchange of kisses existed. His hands delicately cradled your face, and your fingers entwined in the strands of his hair. The kiss unfolded like a choreography of emotions, starting with a tender exploration and building into a passionate crescendo. Time seemed to slow down, allowing you to savor every fleeting moment of this shared intimacy. Your breath hitched as you felt Baji placing soft kisses and even nibbling on your sensitive neck. The warmth of his lips, coupled with the gentle pressure and softness of the kisses, created the obvious tension and the sense of both of your intimacy and arousal.

"Y/n, I'm gonna fuck you now." He already had his hand in your costume.

"Fuck, your this wet because of me, you're not scared of being caught, You little slut." You whimpered as you rode his fingers,

"K-keisuke, wait- I-" You tried to formulate a sentence but your moans cut you off.

"Uh, Y/n! Baji! Are you guys here?" You gasped as you put both your hands on your mouth, controlling your moans.

"Huh?! What you want, Chifuyu! Can't you see I'm helping my girlfriend change out of her costume, go now!"

Embarrassed, Chifuyu runs out, He sighed,

"You were right... Ryusei."

"Told ya." He smirked as he knew, the only way to get Baji to make a move on you was to make him a little jealous. 

[stellar-constellations]

Star Patient: Chapter 5 (ONGOING SLOW BURN SERIES)

WARNING: This series will include; possible inaccurate medical procedures and medical setting, gore, toxic relationships that should NOT be replicated in real life, murder, yanderes, cursing, suicide mentions, implications of misandry (male misogyny), and possibly more.

Inaccurate canon-timeline (this is before Ashley and Andrew murdered their parents).

Reader has a small fear of adult men/rape and has a history of suicide attempts.

Incest is not Wincest.

Amnesiac! Obsessive! Patient! Andrew Graves x Yandere! Nurse! Reader:

Wordcount: 12,000+ words

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, chapter 4, current chapter, chapter 6, Chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9 (in the works)

Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!

        Andrew glided through the hospital corridors, taking the elevator to the pediatric branch. He really couldn’t care less about the kid, Hailey, but for some reason his favorite nurse just loved the little nuisance. 

        He felt a bit jealous. Does she like Hailey more than him? 

        Obviously, she does, considering how she had talked about the girl when they first met. He felt pretty annoyed. Did she spend more of her time and attention on the ill girl? Did she get to innocently hug her like that? If Andrew wasn’t so prideful, he’d definitely ask her for a hug.

        Hell, he was really fighting with himself to ask now. Just a small quick hug, nothing bad! He wondered if he could genuinely pull that off. He wondered how she must feel inside his arms. Would she rest her head against his chest, or would she rather prefer resting it on his shoulder? Is she one of those people who cling onto you like their life depends on it, or was she someone who preferred soft and polite hugs? Would she be a long and affectionate hugger, or simple and sweet? 

        He put that thought in the back of his mind for now, rolling down the hallways to Hailey’s room. He didn’t bother to open the door, much like he did with (Y/N)’s room earlier, as he strolled in without a care.

        Hailey laid in her bed, her eyes glued to some book (Y/N) got her, before she glanced at him. Her eyes raised, surprised to see the pale man again.

        “Andrew, was it?” she questioned, her voice sounding better from yesterday. “What are you doing here?”

        “(Y/N) told me to check on you.” He stated bluntly.

        “(Y/N)? Is she here?” Hailey questioned, a smile growing on her face. “I haven’t seen her tonight! I thought she was off work?”

        Andrew was about to open his mouth and say (Y/N) was, before remembering how the nurse didn’t want the girl to know about her condition. 

        “Uh, no…” he muttered, looking away. “She… wanted me to get into books to distract myself… so she told me to go to you for any books.” He lied.

        “So you do have an interest in books after all.” Hailey smiled. “You must have an interest in nurse (Y/N) too, huh?” Hailey smirked teasingly.

        “…What are you getting at?” Andrew questioned, resisting the urge to glare at the sick girl.

        How the hell did this kid know? Andrew questioned to him.

        “It’s very obvious.” She smiled. “See, if I had a past life, I’m sure I was like a cupid!”

        “Uh, yeah. Sure, kid.” He spoke, brushing off the comment as he decided not to entertain nor deny the idea.

        “I’m very serious.” Hailey re-enforced. “I can see it in your eyes! You’re invested in her!”

        Who is this brat… Andrew thought, annoyed but intrigued (much to his dismay).

        “You know, I’ve known her ever since she came here. I know her type of men.” Hailey lied, a mischievous smirk growing on her face.

        “…You do?” Andrew muttered, now he was unashamedly interested. 

        “I could tell you…” she hummed, trailing off. “Or not.”

        Andrew looked hesitant, before letting out a sigh. He rolled his chair up to her bedside, glancing down at her lap where her open book rested.

        The book she got from (Y/N)…

        God, everything just seems to trace back to that woman, huh? No matter what, everything he sees and hears all traces back to her, even outside of the hospital people are attracted to her (even if the reasons could be malicious). It’s almost pathetic how hooked he is on her, despite not even knowing her for a week. It’s almost scary how everyone seems to be attracted to the girl, she just had an aura that everyone was aware of and drawn to. 

        He could look at something stupid like his shoes and remember her footsteps as she walked with him to the surgery room. He could remember her hands on his face, chest, wrist, looking all around and checking his condition, his bandages, his vitals. He could look at his bedsheets and remember her hands tucking him in for bed… and imagine things he’d rather not envision for a woman he just met.

        Yeah, back in the hatch those thoughts go.

        “Could you just tell me?” he huffed, trying to sound as uninterested as possible despite asking for this, rather impatiently at that.

        “Well? Do you like her?” Hailey questioned.

        Andrew took the moment to think to himself. Yeah, she was a pretty nice nurse, and she knew her stuff despite specializing in pediatrics; though he shouldn’t be surprised, children are basically just the same anatomy as adults, just smaller in size.

        She had a nice voice, and she somehow balanced between playful and professional, perhaps that’s practiced for pediatrics to make kids feel comfortable yet still hold authority. 

        She had a cute smile, and her eyes were pretty to look into. He liked looking at her while she worked, sometimes she’d even bite her lip or stick her tongue out to remind herself to concentrate. She looked like an angel laying on that white hospital bed. Even in pain, she still looked pretty. 

        He wondered how she was outside of the hospital. She was a human too, how did she act with her friends, or her family? How did she act alone? Was she single? Did she have a boyfriend, or did she prefer girls? Would she take interest in him? Could she see him as a potential partner?

        Fuck. Yeah, he definitely liked her.

        “Just a little…” he muttered, feeling a little embarrassed.

        This feels weird (and degrading, in a sense) to be relying on a sick kid for love advice. 

        “So you admit it?” she smiled.

        “Are you gonna tell me or not?” Andrew growled.

        By now, Hailey was no longer fearful or anxious of Andrew. Andrew was just a lovesick puppy hopelessly enamored with her favorite nurse, in her eyes at least. She learned that expression from her books.

        “No.” Hailey smiled, picking up her book.

        “Why?” Andrew questioned, feeling a little betrayed that she made him admit his feelings only to not hold onto their deal.

        “Because I lied.” Hailey smiled. “I don’t know her type.”

        “Brat…” Andrew muttered under his breath, unashamed to be talking smack in front of a dying kid.

        He could’ve said worse, but it’s quite mean to talk ill to a sick child, especially in front of them. Besides, (Y/N) wouldn’t like it if she found out.

        “So, books?” Hailey hummed, getting back to her reading. “This book I’m reading right now is pretty good. I can read it to you.” She suggested.

        “No…” he grumbled, still a little upset that he was tricked. 

        He’ll let her lying slide. Kids will be kids, let them have their fun. 

        “How about I read it to you instead?” Andrew suggested.

        He didn’t want her reading to him; he was the adult, not her. Besides, her voice sounds hoarse and struggling, he’d rather him read it to her than have the kid push herself—not because he’s soft or anything, but because (Y/N) would be upset. 

        Hailey seemed to ponder the idea, before handing over the book to him. 

        “Just don’t crease the pages.” Hailey spoke.

        “Got it.” Andrew hummed, looking at the page she was originally reading.

        He started at the beginning of the page, reading a bit wonky at first, before he started to get into the narration. The words started to flow more smoothly, and he even took pauses for dramatic effect at the intense moments that felt like they needed a pause to sink in.

        One chapter became two, and two became four. He was pretty interested in the story, makes sense considering it was his (Y/N) who got the story, of course she’d have immaculate taste too. 

        He read until his throat went dry, the tip of his tongue aching from all the pronunciations. He looked up from the book to see Hailey asleep.

        Did she get bored? Andrew thought, a little offended that she fell asleep at the book (Y/N) gave her instead of giving it to him, especially when he was kind enough to read it to her. 

        Maybe she just liked his voice? It’s perfect for listening to. His voice wasn’t quiet, but it wasn’t loud either, like a polite demand for attention or to respect his authority. It was deep, but not too deep, with a slight rasp from smoking. He was good at projecting his voice so others could listen to him—well, everyone except Ashley, really. 

        Thinking of Ashley, where is she? She was sure acting weird today. Something about the demon’s vision she saw in her dream. She also described (Y/N)’s appearance despite not even knowing the nurse; he couldn’t recall any moment they had interacted.

        Andrew took a white bookmark that laid on her bedside table, placing it on the page he stopped reading on. He closed the book, placing it down on Hailey’s bedside. He wheeled out of the room, making his way back to the elevators.

        He entered the elevator, pressing the button for the emergency branch, waiting for the doors to re-open. The metal shutters opened and he rolled out, going back to (Y/N)’s room.

        He made it, opening the door and entering without bothering to knock. (Y/N) laid in the hospital bed, her eyes closed as she appeared to be sleeping.

        Damn… Andrew thought, disappointed. I was hoping to talk to her.

        He doesn’t know what he would’ve talked about, but he was hoping she’d start the conversation. He wanted to get closer to her, emotionally and physically. 

        Andrew debated what he should do, before finally giving in, rolling his wheelchair up to her side. He observed her sleeping face, blissfully unaware of his presence as she slept. Her hair was a little messy, perhaps from sleeping or from the attack earlier. Her skin was a bit paler than usual, perhaps from shock or blood loss. She had more prominent bags under her eyes than usual, resting heavily under her closed eyes.

        He wondered who attacked her, and why. Was it a crazy ex boyfriend? Some stalker? A jealous friend? Someone suffering under delusions? He wondered what happened.

        He had an idea, though he was scared to ponder on it.

        Instead of thinking about it, he distracted himself. He looked down at her bandaged arm, trailing his hands down to her wrists, and to her fingernails.

        Her nails were strangely clean. They were polished and trimmed, which makes sense considering nurses need to have good hygiene, especially so they don’t transfer bacteria or accidentally infect patients. They looked like they had been scrubbed squeaky clean recently, not even a trace of dirt under her nails. 

        Her hands looked small compared to his, clean and petite compared to his rough and damaged ones. 

        His hands had small burns from failing to light his cigarettes as a starter; her hands had small burns from ovens and hot cookware and hot glue guns, yet somehow her scars were far more attractive than his.

        His hands were dirty, stained with blood and sins; hers were clean, baptized in purity and commandant.

        He wondered how her hands would feel against his. They looked soft, would they feel soft? He wondered if she used lotion, what her favorite nail polish was, how long she liked her nails.

        Those thoughts led to other thoughts. What did she like wearing when she’s at home? What does she wear in public? What kind of music does she listened to? What kind of foods does she like?

        He decided it was best to stop those thoughts. He stared at her hands, juggling his thoughts in his head, before finally giving in. He reached out and held her hand with his larger one. 

        He held it gently, feeling the weight of it. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand soothingly, memorized at the difference. Her hand was slightly cold, possibly due to how cold the hospital’s AC is followed by blood loss, but it wasn’t uncomfortable to touch. 

        He looked at her face to see if she woken up or felt the touch. She didn’t.

        His fingers carefully interlocked with her, cautious to make sure she wouldn’t accidentally wake up. She remained neutral, not even a flutter of her eyelashes or any stirring. 

        She must be really tired… Andrew thought. 

        His admired their hands as they eloped together. He noticed discoloration on her hands, He shifted his body, laying his elbow down on the edge of the mattress and using his arm as a pillow. He admired her sleeping face, closing his eyes to relish the touch and intimacy of this moment. He doesn’t know how long it took for him to fall asleep, but it was relatively quick.          .         .        

        A few hours later, Andrew jolted awake first at the sound of the door opening, turning his head at the noise. (Y/N) groaned, opening her eyes and seeing Andrew by her side, holding her hand as a man stood in the doorway, one Andrew didn’t know. 

        Andrew squeezed (Y/N)’s hand softly, a silent greeting before glaring at the man, almost possessive of (Y/N)’s vulnerable state.

        “Hello, Doctor Ryan…” (Y/N) yawned, before directing her attention to Andrew. “And hello to you too, Andrew.” She hummed, smiling as she gently squeezed his hand back.

        She looked down at their hands, wondering when she and Andrew started holding hands, or even when he returned back. Her hands trailed down to her sleeves, more so lack of, as the hospital gown didn’t have any long-sleeves for her. She noticed her scars out in the open and ripped her hand away from Andrew’s, a sense of insecurity and embarrassment rapidly building in her as she hid her arms under her blanket.

        Andrew looked confused (even a little disheartened that she let go) as Doctor Ryan walked over to her. Doctor Ryan isn’t usually at the hospital on Saturday nights, but he could’ve decided to work overtime this week. It’s not unusual since he has a stay-at-home wife and three kids.

        “Hello! I heard what happened and I figured I’d wait to see you when you’re awake.” The doctor smiled brightly, walking over to her bedside and sitting next to Andrew. “And who is this?” he questioned, looking at Andrew, yet having a good idea of who it was as he sent a knowing smirk. 

        While Doctor Ryan had never met Andrew face-to-face, he had read his report when assigning (Y/N) to watch him his first night, along with hearing all the gossip from Penelope. 

        Andrew had a small reputation around the hospital since he’s one of the trouble patients, on suicide watch and needing special treatment for his wounds and wants. Andrew wouldn’t accept any care from any other nurse during the night shift, it was a fight for the day shift to care for him until (Y/N) told him to behave for day shift. His sister was also banned from the hospital due to proving a threat to Andrew’s recovery and health, though she won’t be a problem anymore. 

        Rumors spread pretty easily of Andrew’s fondness and almost admiration of the nurse he chose, (Y/N). Penelope has a big mouth without meaning to, having a bad habit of rambling and over sharing her and other people’s problems and secrets, so it spread pretty quick of the strange relationship the nurse and patient shared. Penelope’s ramblings of doubt as a nurse because Andrew wouldn’t accept her care had reached Doctor Ryan’s ears, being the catalyst of his teasing to his student, (Y/N). 

        “This is Andrew.” (Y/N) introduced when she realized Andrew wasn’t going to answer the doctor’s question, only give him a nasty glare.

        She cleared her throat, shoving her arms into her blanket so the pair of males didn’t see, and flashed a smile. “What’s your visit for? Don’t tell me you’re gonna make me work.” She chuckled lightly, trying to make a joke. 

        “I wouldn’t say 'work' exactly.” Doctor Ryan smiled, before it faltered, letting out a sigh. “You’re here today, so I figured it’d be a good time to tell you. I think it’s best if you see Hailey.” 

        “Hailey? Why? Did something bad happen to her?” (Y/N) questioned, doing her best to not sound alarmed or panicked.

        It’s never a good thing for a nurse to panic, it’d defeat a key factor of their job. Nurses are supposed to provide aid to their patients, whether it’s emotionally or physically, or even emotional in cases like Andrew’s. A nurse panicking would panic their patient since they’re going to look to the one with most experience. If a patient panics, they can worsen their condition or provide unnecessary stress that can affect their recovery or even create new problems. 

        And people think being a nurse is just all fluffing pillows and handing out medication. You have to be constantly in tune with the patients emotions, symptoms, and healing process; from what they're feeling to how much they're eating or using the bathroom. Always checking up on how they are and cater them to the best of your ability; serving them food (and sometimes helping feed them), changing their bedsheets, helping them to the bathroom, helping out with physical therapy, prepping them for procedures or appointments, and charting. The worse is charting. You have to document every single thing; from what they ate and what times, to who visited them today, to how what they said to be feeling and what they looked actually looked to be feeling like, to any improvement or decline or neutrality of their status, to their behavior, to what medicines they had, to their complaints or compliments they have about the hospital or their treatment, and so much more. 

        “She’s just not in the greatest condition at the moment. I think it’s best she sees you.” Doctor Ryan spoke.

        Before she could question it, Doctor Ryan grabbed something from his coat, placing it down on her bedside table. 

        “Here,” he spoke, patting what looked to be a Polaroid recorder down on her table, “I came to drop this off too. This was supposed to be a wholesome visit, until Hailey at least…” he spoke, allowing his smile to drop. “Check out the contents on the camera later. I have to get back to work. Get well soon!”

        “Thanks.” (Y/N) smiled, watching Doctor Ryan leave the room.

        “Who was that?” Andrew questioned, glancing over at her as he resisted the urge to grimace.

        “That’s Doctor Ryan, he’s my professor! He’s the one teaching me pediatrics since I’m an apprentice.” (Y/N) explained, slowly sitting up from the bed.

        Andrew watched her movements carefully, observing how she slowly took her time getting out of bed. She didn’t apply much pressure on her injured leg as her sock-clothed feet hit the ground (with clean hospital socks, none of her blood soaked up in it and used to plug in any stab wounds). The room looked like a carousel, spinning rapidly, and a headache followed with it, screaming loudly in her head. She let out a groan as Andrew quickly placed a hand on her waist.

        "Careful..." Andrew muttered, watching her intently as he kept his hand on her waist.

        "Thank you, but I'm fine." (Y/N) lied, placing her hand on his shoulder to use as leverage. 

        "Yeah, sure." He hummed sarcastically.

        (Y/N) resisted the urge to glare at him. While she wasn't on duty, she was still his nurse and she didn't feel like having any workplace drama. 

        "Do you want me to assist you there?" Andrew questioned, his thumb absentmindedly tracing small circles on her hip.

        "No, it's fine." She spoke, taking a few steps to the door and ignoring the stabbing sensation in her leg. 

        "Are you sure?" Andrew questioned, trying his best to not look too concerned for her. 

        "Yes, I'm sure." She huffed, trying not to be snippy. "It's for the best. I don't want Hailey to be nervous or worried, especially if there's something going on with her." 

        "Just be careful..." Andrew spoke, watching her limp away. "I'll be here waiting for you." 

        (Y/N) took the moment to look back at him, confused. Before she could question it, she stopped herself, deciding there was always later to talk about it. Right now Hailey needs her, Andrew can wait.  

        (Y/N) settled for a nod, rummaging in the hospital cabinets and grabbing a white blanket. She wrapped it around her body to hide her hospital gown; she wouldn’t want to worry Hailey. (Y/N) limped out of the room, going down the halls to the elevator. 

        She pressed the floor the pediatric branch was on, waiting rather impatiently for the doors to open again as she descended.

        Was Hailey okay? What did he mean by she’s not in the greatest condition? Has she gained more symptoms, or weakened?

        Hailey has acute lymphoblastic leukemia, also known as ALL. It’s a cancer inside the blood and bone marrow, where the infected white blood cells are rapidly multiplying, creating blocks in the blood and bones that could prevent other cells from getting through and working. The cancer comes with symptoms such as fever, frequent nose bleeds, weakness or fatigue, easy bruising, pain in the bones or stomach or groin, frequent infections, and swollen lymph nodes. 

        Hailey’s most prominent symptoms are her swollen lymph nodes, hence why her voice is low and raspy, along with her bone pains in her legs, which is why she’s bedridden. At least 90% of kids under 15 who have ALL survive, so long as they’re treated. Even thought Hailey has been in the hospital for three years, she’s made very little progress in recovering. 

        Despite there being no stages in ALL cancer, if (Y/N) had to guess, she’s assume Hailey would be in stage 3. Over the years of chemotherapy and medications, her infected white blood cells just seem to be multiplying more and more, hence why it’s called acute lymphoblastic leukemia, acute means rapid. 

        (Y/N)’s theory is that a doctor didn’t give a strong enough dosage to Hailey, therefore the cells grew a resistance to the medication, creating a superbug that could withstand the medicine entirely. 

        Even then, what matters is if Hailey is feeling alright. (Y/N) exited the elevator and limped down the hallways, making it to Hailey’s room and opening the door.

        “Oh. Hello, Ms. (L/N)!” Hailey greeted brightly, her voice still hoarse and raspy, but having life to it. “What are you doing here? You said it was your day off!”

        Hailey’s upper body shot up quickly as she sat up from bed, a smile on her face as she greeted (Y/N). Her eyes were bright and lively, even waving her arm at the nurse.

        Oh.

        “Sorry it’s so early!” (Y/N) smiled. “It’s at least 5 A.M. What are you doing up so early?” 

        “I couldn’t sleep, I just had such a sudden burst of energy!” Hailey spoke. “I think I’m getting better!”

        (Y/N) ignored that comment, sitting down on the guest chair in Hailey’s room. Her eyes trailed to the wheelchair that sat near her IV pole, a wheelchair that’s only used for Hailey to wheel herself to the bathroom now, but even then she needs help from the nurses. 

        “So? How’s that book you’re reading?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “I’m almost done with it. At least 30 pages away.” Hailey answered. “What are you doing here at the hospital? It’s your night off; unless you’re working overtime again?”

        “Yes! I’m working overtime again.” (Y/N) lied, smiling at the girl. 

        It’s best not to tell her anything, not in her condition.

        “Are you cold? Why are you wearing a blanket?” Hailey questioned.

        “Yes, I’m cold. I’m feeling a bit chilly at the moment. It’s verging to winter and the hospital still hasn’t adjusted the thermostat yet.” (Y/N) lied once more. “Hey, remember when I said I’ll take you to the garden the next time I see you? Would you like to go right now?”

        Hailey’s eyes brightened even more, her grin widening as she nodded. “Yes! I want to see the flowers!” 

        “Let’s get you in the wheelchair, yeah?” (Y/N) spoke, standing up from the chair and using the blanket to hide herself limping from Hailey’s sight.

        Hailey used her upper arms and was able to push herself to the edge of the bed on her own, even moving her knees a bit too! (Y/N) still carefully placed one of her arms under Hailey’s knees and the other on her back, picking up Hailey and placing her in the wheelchair. 

        (Y/N) decided against the wheelchair restraints, not wanting Hailey to feel trapped at the moment. (Y/N) grabbed the blanket off Hailey’s bed, but Hailey spoke up.

        “We can leave the blanket. I actually feel pretty warm at the moment.” Hailey spoke.

        The only warmth Hailey usually had was when she had a fire spreading in her legs, the bone pains acting up and causing many sleepless nights for her. It’s why Hailey is almost always awake when (Y/N) does her rounds around the hospital at night.

        “It’s cold outside. Let’s take the blanket just in case.” (Y/N) persisted, smiling as she covered Hailey’s shoulders and down with the thin white cloth. 

        Hailey decided not to argue against it and cooperated. (Y/N) wheeled Hailey out of the room, her pace a little slower than usually as she felt that stabbing sensation in her leg and stomach. It made her silently hitch her breath, her ears having a slight ring in them, yet she persisted. 

        “Gosh, I haven’t seen these halls in forever.” Hailey spoke, her eyes scanning every nook and cranny of the white hallways. “You know, I read that whenever you enter a unfamiliar area, the reason why you feel dizzy is because you have a sensory overload. Like, you’re saving mental images and color palettes and the layout of the area all in your head, that way you remember where you are the next time you go! Even though I’ve been here before, it feels like it’s my first time down these halls all over again.” 

        Yes, (Y/N) knows that. She was the one who gave Hailey the book she learned that from, but for Hailey’s sake (and to distract her mind from the pain), she decided to play dumb.

        “Wow, really?” (Y/N) hummed, smiling. “I never knew that. It makes sense now that you’ve explained it.”

        Hailey nodded, smiling. “Yeah! I remember having that dizziness when I was at my friend’s for a sleepover.” She spoke, before her smile dropped. “Though, it was before I had cancer, or at least when I wasn’t placed in the hospital… I sometimes miss having friends.”

        “Why, of course you have friends.” (Y/N) spoke. “You have me! And you have Doctor Ryan, and Penelope, and Ruby, and even Andrew too.” 

        “Yeah, but I mean friends my age.” Hailey spoke.

        Normally, that could be arranged in the hospital so long as the patients aren’t being exposed to a infectious disease or illness, especially in Hailey’s case since she’s more prone to getting infections; however, Hailey didn’t want to be friends with the other kids after her hair started falling out due to the chemotherapy. She was insecure of her appearance deteriorating, even if Penelope kept lying to her face and telling her she looked perfectly fine. Hailey preferred (Y/N) over Penelope for that reason. (Y/N) always told her the truth, or at least left it blank so there was no harsh comment. 

        If Penelope asked (Y/N) if she looked sickly today, (Y/N) would tell her that a bit of water and food would help bring back some color to her face. It was a good way to not only promote healthy behavior for Hailey, but also it helped build trust in (Y/N) to always telling her the truth about her health. If she asked Penelope, Penelope would’ve lied and said she looked as bright as the sun; which is kind, but she could tell Penelope was lying by how Penelope’s right eye would twitch and bite her bottom lip. 

        “I see… well, I’m sure we can arrange that soon, when you’re ready.” (Y/N) smiled, taking Hailey into the elevator.

        (Y/N) pressed the lobby floor as Hailey spoke up.

        “Are the flowers even in bloom? Since it’s verging to winter?” Hailey questioned.

        “A secret between me and you; the flowers are fake.” (Y/N) whispered, acting as if there was a camera watching her or something. We have scented pads hidden in the soil to make it smell like flowers, and we wet the soil regularly to keep that earthy smell lingering.” 

        “Really?” Hailey gasped.

        “That’s why they’re always in bloom. It’s depressing to have an empty garden, even something as small as colorful flowers give people hope.” (Y/N) explained. 

        While fake flowers aren’t present in most hospitals, this hospital was different. Even if they were always understaffed and overworked, they at least cared for their patients. Even if the staff excel at their work or not, at least they have work ethic. 

        The elevator doors opened as (Y/N) wheeled Hailey down the hallways. (Y/N) noticed the stares from guests and even some patients; whether it was because of Hailey’s bald head or (Y/N)’s limp. (Y/N) noticed Hailey’s gripping the blanket on her, seconds away from raising the blanket above her head to hide it. (Y/N) recognized Hailey’s insecurity and spoke up.

        “You know, I’m thinking of starting a garden. A real garden with real flowers indoors, that way patients with allergies or conditions can see the flowers too without going outside.” (Y/N) spoke, redirecting Hailey’s attention. “I was wondering what flowers you’d like for me to add. I’ll do a survey with the other patients too, have a nice diversity of flowers. What do you think?” 

        “I think… it’s a nice idea.” Hailey smiled, letting go of the blanket. “I think daisies. You should do daisies.” 

        “That’s a nice flower. I’ll see what I can do.” (Y/N) nodded, smiling as she pushed open the glass door, rolling Hailey to the garden. 

        (Y/N) guided Hailey to the wooden bench, picking up Hailey and placing her down on the seat so she wouldn’t be confided to the wheelchair. 

        Hailey rambled on and on about anything and everything. She talked so much that (Y/N) contemplated if she should go fetch water for Hailey’s throat given how raspy it was, but she decided against it as she noticed the signs.

        Hailey’s bright smile, the almost whimsical joy in her eyes; an expression that (Y/N) thought Hailey has lost over the years as she spent her birthdays in this hospital. 

        (Y/N) remembers bringing a cake for Hailey’s 7th birthday, the first they spent together. Even though Hailey admitted to not liking vanilla cake, she still ate it. It was the last birthday she’d spend with her parents before they threw themselves at work, leaving Hailey along in the hospital with other sick patients and the staff. 

        The second birthday they spent together, (Y/N) had to ditch the candles, concerned the smoke would affect Hailey’s lungs. At least the cake was homemade, even if the frosting looked a bit ugly. (Y/N) made sure it was chocolate this time, so Hailey could enjoy it. 

        And the third birthday they spent together, (Y/N) made an ice cream cake, chocolate of course. She figured the ice cream would soothe Hailey’s throat and Hailey could still enjoy the flavor. It took many tries, but she succeeded in making the perfect cake, gifting Hailey books for her to read too. 

        If (Y/N) had known it would be Hailey’s last birthday, she would’ve made sure to go all out. Buy balloons and party streamers, force her parents to come back and see her, cover her head to toe in presents. 

        Unfortunately, you can’t change time. 

        Hailey’s eyes shined as she spoke, talking about anything possible. She didn’t have many who would listen to her, her doctors and nurses were there for work, and (Y/N) couldn’t visit long since she had other patients to tend to. But now, (Y/N)’s off the clock. At the moment she’s not Hailey’s nurse, she’s Hailey’s friend.

        Eventually, Hailey’s voice faltered, before she let out a hum, satisfied as she rested her head on the bench. She took a deep breath, then sighed, smiling softly.

        “It really does smell like flowers. Those are some good quality scent pads.” Hailey spoke.

        Fake flowers last for years; patients do not.

        “Do you ever wonder what’s beyond us?” Hailey questioned after a long silence.

        “What do you mean?” (Y/N) questioned, turning her head to face the girl.

        “Death. Like, do you ever wonder what happens after?” Hailey added.

        (Y/N) hummed, thinking as she kept her blanket wrapped around her, hiding her hospital gown just as Hailey hid from the cold. 

        She wasn’t sure. Many religions had their own ideals of life and death, but she doubted Hailey wanted an answer based on religion. She wasn’t sure what was beyond. After trying to kill herself, everything in her life started losing value, a spiral of nothing and everything thrown at her all at once. 

        Even if she stopped hurting herself physically, she couldn’t stop mentally.

“I think it changes for everyone.” (Y/N) spoke. “Like, your own paradise. You could be surrounded by anyone you want, and anything you want.”

        “What would you want to be surrounded by?” Hailey questioned.

        She didn’t have to think much on that matter. There wasn’t much in her life she cared about anymore. She did nothing but work nowadays. She was an empty husk that worked itself to death to pass the time, awaiting Death by the door. 

        If she couldn’t open the door, she’ll make Death open it. 

        “Beds.” (Y/N) answered.

        “Really? That’s it?” Hailey questioned, surprised and perhaps kindly disappointed. “I was expecting something… more. Like, deep, or wise.” 

        “You can’t expect everything to make sense in life, you know.” (Y/N) chuckled. “Sometimes things just happen. I think that’s what’s so fun about life, it’s just a mystery to be solved at the end of the line through all that hard work; or, perhaps there’s no mystery. Maybe it just coexists just like we do.” 

        “How can your answer be so boring but your follow-up be so wise?” Hailey pouted, cause (Y/N) to chuckle.

        “Hey, I never said I’d give you any special answer.” (Y/N) pointed out.

        “But, really, why beds?” Hailey questioned.

        “I just like sleeping.” (Y/N) smiled, giving part of the truth.

        “I guess it’ll suffice.” Hailey sighed, disappointed.

        “And you? What would you like to be surrounded by?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “My parents.” Hailey spoke. “And my old friends. And tons of my hair, like as much hair as Rapunzel.” 

        “That sounds nice.” (Y/N) hummed. “Though, you’d have to brush your hair all the time. Maybe it’s not so good having hair, I can’t stand mine at times.” (Y/N) spoke, trying to gently reassure Hailey.

        “Well, maybe just normal hair then. What it used to look like before.” Hailey spoke. “You’d be there too. I wouldn’t only see you when you’re working. I’d see you outside of the hospital as my friend.” 

        “What’s it matter where or how you meet? As long as we’re still friends, I don’t see any issue.” (Y/N) smiled.

        Hailey smiled, nodding. “I like that.” 

        Eventually, Hailey went quiet, no longer having any words to speak. She sat on the bench, observing her surroundings in a youthful fashion. Her eyes sparkled with life, her pulse relaxing as she enjoyed the false nature around her.

        “Thank you for staying with me.” Hailey spoke up, her volume decreasing, the sound of her raspy voice cracking more. “I know it’s probably hard for you to see me like this.”

        “Anything for you, Hails.” (Y/N) smiled, wrapping her arm around Hailey’s shoulder and giving her a gentle side-hug.

        “Thank you for not leaving me alone. It means a lot to me…” Hailey muttered, taking a few deep breaths, before eventually subduing. 

        (Y/N) glanced at the IV pole, looking at the fluids that gently flowed in Hailey’s veins, before she turned her attention back to Hailey. 

        After a few minutes, there was no movement from Hailey. No breathing. No eye movement. No leg twitching. Just nothing.

        (Y/N) took a deep breath, smelling the fake flowers and wet soil, before letting out a sob she’s been holding. 

        Hailey had so much life, and yet she died so young. She was so lively in her final moments.

        All that matters now is she’s not going to be in anymore pain and that she wasn’t scared. (Y/N) thought.

        Even if kids under 15 have a 90% chance of surviving acute lymphoblastic leukemia, it doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed. Life and death is really never a guarantee though, so it’s good to enjoy it while it lasts.

        If only (Y/N) could follow her own advice.

        (Y/N) covered her face in her hands, crying now that Hailey was gone, so she wouldn’t see her tears. This hurt way worse than any stab she could endure. 

        (Y/N) almost contemplated covering Hailey’s face with the her blanket, but she decided against it. She didn’t want to be ashamed of Hailey or her presence, she didn’t want to forget Hailey or brush her aside.

        (Y/N) stood up, deciding not to waste much time, and picked Hailey up, putting her in the wheelchair. She had such lifeless and glazed eyes, her mouth was slightly open and her arms flayed motionless as (Y/N) moved. She doesn’t look like the suddenly bright and cheerful Hailey from just a few minutes ago.

        Terminal Lucidity. It’s an unknown phenomenon that can happen before death, giving you suddenly more strength, a clearer consciousness, and even regaining memory. It’s surprisingly common, at least 88% experiencing the symptoms before death. It can happen from minutes to hours to days before death, and it has a habit of giving false hope to the patients loved ones. While it’s quite common in dementia patients, it can also happen to those with neurological problems or in some special cases those with cancer.

        In the hospital, a terminal patient suddenly acting lively and alert is usually a bad thing because it means they’re near death. It’s not quite known why, but some speculate it could be the brain’s last fight, before eventually giving in. 

        (Y/N) wheeled Hailey’s dead body to the hospital’s mortuary. She checked the body in, guessing the nearest time of death since she didn’t have a watch on her, and the cause of death. She wrote down the parental numbers so they could be contacted, before lumping her way back to the elevator.

        The ride up was deathly silent, not that anyone was in the elevator to talk to her, but it was silent in her mind too. Usually she’d at least be thinking of things to do, but she had no thoughts in her mind.

        The elevator doors opened and (Y/N) walked out. She walked back to her own hospital room, exhausted and tired. Tears threatened to escape her eyes once more, the pain of losing Hailey and the pain of her wounds piling up on her. 

        She opened the door, surprised to see Andrew there, sleeping in his wheelchair with his arms crossed. (Y/N) wasn’t sure whether to feel annoyed or happy. Annoyed because she wanted to cry and sleep, but also happy because it meant she wasn’t alone with her thoughts and feelings. 

        The door opened, jolting Andrew awake. He was probably in a light sleep, whether because he was expecting (Y/N) or because the wheelchair is uncomfortable to sleep in. Whatever the reason was, he was awake.

        His eyes trailed to (Y/N), doing his best not to smile and brighten up at her presence (that would be so lame if he did that).

        “Hey.” Andrew spoke.

        “Hey.” (Y/N) parroted, throwing her blanket at Andrew for him to use instead as she got up in her hospital bed.

        There was no point in hiding her hospital gown now that Hailey was dead, so that blanket could now be used by Andrew while she got under her own hospital bedsheets. 

        “You can go to your room, you know. I’m fine on my own.” (Y/N) spoke.

        “So? You got stabbed.” Andrew gruffed, catching the blanket and placing it down on his lap.

        “And you have two broken legs, mister. You should still be recovering after surgery.” (Y/N) scolded lightly.

        Her response caused Andrew to chuckle. Even injured and off the clock, she still worried about others. Andrew wasn’t sure if it was because she was his nurse or if she was just trying to be a decent human, but he relished the attention anyways. 

        “Ah, c’mon. I feel fine.” He chuckled. 

        (Y/N) resisted the urge to kick his leg to prove him wrong, yet she decided not to be petty today. She hummed, lying down on her bed. 

        “Is there something you want from me? Why are you here?” (Y/N) questioned, looking at the clock.

        It was 6:30 A.M. She’ll be here in the hospital until 3 P.M. She wasn’t fond of that. She needed to bury Ashley’s body and deep clean her apartment. Even though the police hopefully had no trace it was her, and hopefully they didn’t invade in her apartment and swab the place (which, they better of not considering it’d be illegal without her permission or a warrant). 

        Not really. Andrew thought.

        He just came over as soon as he heard (Y/N) was put in the emergency unit thanks to Penelope’s big mouth. He doesn’t really know why he came here, maybe just out of curiosity to see how bad she was hurt. All humans are curious when something bad happens.

        Maybe he just wanted to spend more time with her, to be happy she was here with him. It’s not like she could fight much with him, she was tired and her eyes were red.

        Red eyes. Was she crying?

        “I just figured I see you, since you’re here. It gives me something to do other than being stuck in that hospital bed.” Andrew spoke.

        “And now you’re stuck in a hospital wheelchair.” (Y/N) chuckled.

        “Forget about me. Are you okay?” Andrew questioned.

        “Yeah. I told you. It doesn’t hurt much.” (Y/N) lied, ignoring the pulses inside her wounds.

        “I wasn’t talking about that. I mean, are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.” Andrew pointed out, leaning back in his chair as he looked at her.

        (Y/N) paused, thinking. Would it be against hospital protocol to say a patient’s status or info to someone if they’re dead? 

        Well, you only live once. And Andrew doesn’t look like a snitch. 

        “Hailey died.” (Y/N) spoke. “And, her parents weren’t there to say goodbye. Really, never visited her much either.” 

        “That sucks…” Andrew muttered.

        He’s not too sure if he could care or not. Yeah, it sucks a kid died, but why should he care about a kid he had no connection with? She died, might as well get over it.

        “It happens more than I like around here. They pass without their family around.” (Y/N) spoke. “But, I just can’t stand when the parents aren’t there for their kids. They die scared, that’s no way to die, for a kid or adult.” 

        (Y/N) spoke, looking out her window as the sun started rising. 

        She wondered where Andrew’s parents were. Why aren’t they here to visit him? Do they not know he’s here? Or perhaps they don’t want to visit their child who’s a murderer…

        “What shitty parents.” Andrew spoke with no filter.

        “Yeah,” (Y/N) chuckled, “that’s what I think too.” 

        To really care about someone you don’t have any blood-relation to, must be a special kind of bond; it’s one you can choose, not one you’re born with, unlike the one Andrew and Ashley shares.

        “So, where’s your parents?” Andrew questioned.

        “I’m an adult, I don’t need them checking up on me.” (Y/N) spoke.

        “Yeah, but, wouldn’t it be nice? A sense of security and all?” Andrew questioned.

        “Well, where’s your parents?” (Y/N) retorted, a bit annoyed.

        So what? It’s not like if she called them they’d come rushing to her. Her mother would care less seeing (Y/N) in a hospital again, and her father would probably go berserk and try to bring her back home where it was safe. 

        “Touché.” Andrew chuckled. “But I have my sister to visit me.” 

        (Y/N) mentally grimaced at that, doing her best to not make a face so Andrew wouldn’t question it. 

        Not anymore… she thought.

        Her hands suddenly felt dirty again. She didn’t know what to do with her hands, so she hid them in the hospital blanket. Once again, Andrew was intrigued with her hands after seeing her hide them. It’s like everything she hides them, he immediately gets curious and wants to see them. 

        He knows of the obvious self-harm scars now, he saw those when she was sleeping. And he saw the small scars and burns from everyday life, but why care so much about them? 

        Maybe it’s just something you have to go through in order to understand. You can’t understand everything on the first try, especially if you have no experience in it.

        Sure, he was admitted for jumping a rooftop, but that’s a bit different than self-harming. Jumping a rooftop is one clear goal; suicide. It has subcategories such as wanting to escape life, or having too many problems to run away from. 

        Self-harming, on the other hand, is more complex. The desire to harm yourself is there, but you don’t want to die immediately. It’s a slow steady process building up. You hurt yourself possibly because you feel ashamed, that you feel like you deserve to hurt because that’s all you’re worth. Or perhaps it’s to relieve stress or pain. There’s not always such a strong intent to die when you hurt yourself? sometimes pain is the only thing people know that they use to feel normal or detached. Perhaps they even get pressured into hurting themselves. Self-harming isn’t to die, it’s to make yourself suffer because you feel that that’s what you need. 

        The question is: what is her reasoning? 

        The question left him wondering, he was almost compelled to answer, but she didn’t look to be in a good mood, so he decided against it.

        (Y/N)’s eyes trailed to the digital recorder on her bedside. Doctor Ryan had left it on her bedside earlier, but he didn’t explain what was on it. She reached over and grabbed it, studying it.

        It was a shiny silver recorder, with a slot for polaroid photos to slip out of. (Y/N) turned on the camera, pressing a button to the camera roll. The camera roll opened, multiple short videos at least 10 or 20 seconds showing. 

        She clicked on one and turned it on, seeing a video of one of her patients. They had black hair and black eyes, sitting in their hospital bed with an IV needle in her arm and bandages around her head. She recently had surgery for a tumor in her brain, now resting in bed.

        “Hi, Ms. (L/N)! I heard you were doing unwell and I wanted to say please get better and visit me when you’re healthy!” the patient smiled.

        (Y/N) chuckled, a smile plastered on her face as she looked at the footage. Andrew wheeled his way over to her side, curious to what she was smiling at. He rested his arm on the bedside, leaning over and looking at the footage. 

        (Y/N) moved the camera in the center of them so they both could see. She clicked the next video, pressing play.

        A boy with brown hair looked at the camera, confused. “What do I say?”

        “Say get better.” Doctor Ryan whispered from behind the camera.

        “Get better.” The boy spoke.

        “Now add more to it, say nice things.” Doctor Ryan whispered, resisting the urge to chuckle. 

        “Nice things.” The kid spoke. 

        “No. What do you like about Nurse (L/N).” Doctor Ryan spoke, now using his normal volume instead of whispering.

        “I like that she’s nice.” The kid smiled.

        “Now say it to the camera.” Doctor Ryan pushed.

        “I like that you’re nice, camera.” The boy smiled, one of his front teeth were missing, only adding to the cuteness.

        “Ah, close enough.” Doctor Ryan chuckled, ending the video.

        (Y/N) giggled at the video while Andrew remained unfazed. She clicked the next video, pressing play. There was a girl inside Doctor Ryan’s office, there for an appointment. She was a frequent regular for common colds, so (Y/N) recognized her instantly. 

        “Hi, Ms. (L/N)! Please get better soon, Doctor Ryan’s handwriting is too messy! I like yours better!” she smiled.

        “Hey! It’s not messy, you just can’t read the prescriptions because it’s long words!” Doctor Ryan laughed.

        “Still bad.” The kid smiled. 

        “Oh whatever.” Doctor Ryan chuckled from behind the camera, ending the video.

        The kid was right, Doctor Ryan’s handwriting was bad. The kid would try to read the prescriptions on the paper but couldn’t read the big messy words, so (Y/N) would just simply write “cold medicine” so the girl could read it. 

        (Y/N) smiled, going through more and more videos as she chuckled and grinned at the kids, their thoughts and feelings, and seeing their current statuses. 

        She eventually got to the last video, the caption above saying it was recorded just eight hours ago, when (Y/N) was still sleeping in the hospital after surgery. 

        “Hi, Ms. (L/N)!” the patient with blonde hair smiled, revealing to be Hailey, lively and well.

        “I heard you’re unwell and I hope you get better really soon! I can’t wait to see you again and to read the books you lend me. Please get well soon, I miss you already!” Hailey smiled.

        “Wow, she looked to be getting better.” Andrew commented, pointing at the screen. “I wonder what happened…”

        Even though Hailey was lively and well, anybody with medical knowledge would know that she was doing bad.

        “Terminal lucidity.” (Y/N) answered. “Sometimes before you die, your brain acts out on a last defense. You gain more energy and strength; but it’s fruitless.” She explained.

        “Oh… that blows…” Andrew muttered.

        No wonder she seemed much more vocal and confident today than she did yesterday. He wondered if he died, would he act like that too before kicking the bucket? That must hurt for the loved ones who don’t understand. 

        “It does…” (Y/N) sighed, her mind going blank as she stared out in the distance.  

        When things become too much, it’s better not to think and just go on auto-pilot. It’s how (Y/N) went through her life when things became too much.

        It’s unhealthy, she knows that, but it helps her cope with reality. 

        She turned off the camera screen, burning a hole into her lap as she looked at the black screen. She spaced out, going motionless.

        Andrew noticed, unsure whether to speak up or not. She was obviously feeling distraught and he wasn’t sure if she should be wallowing in her feelings or not.

        Auto-pilot took over and decided it wanted her to cry. Tears started pouring down her face before she knew it, only causing Andrew to shift uncomfortably in his chair. He sighed, grabbing her hand and holding it. 

        “Hey… it’s okay.” Andrew spoke awkwardly. 

        “No, it’s not.” She spoke, her voice cracking. “All these kids, they shouldn’t have to go through this so young. They shouldn't be in pain or dying.” 

        It’s admirable, her care for others. It must take a good heart to do that, always worrying about others instead of herself. Andrew wondered if he was like that before all this happened. Was he a good person before he jumped and lost most of his memory? 

        No, probably not. This is reality, not a dream. He doubts that he was a good person, judging by the way he acted with Ashley the past three months he could remember. His parents ignored his calls, his girlfriend broke up with him on the phone, and he killed multiple people and even ate his neighbor!

        Yeah, definitely not a good person.

        “There, there…” Andrew muttered awkwardly, squeezing her hand hesitantly. “Sometimes things just happen?”

        “But they shouldn’t happen to kids. They’ve been brought in this world just to get taken out when life has barely even started for them. These poor kids.” She cried, squeezing Andrew’s hand tightly for comfort. “They shouldn’t be wanted to die so early on. They should be enjoying life, not wondering when it’ll end.” 

        Normally, she’d just hide her feelings or bottle it up until she got home, but she can’t even go home and cry because she has a body to bury and a apartment to clean. 

        Life just keeps piling up on her more and more. It feels like a never ending cycle of pain. The only time she even feels happy now in reality, without sleeping, is seeing kids happy and smiling. How can she be happy if they keep dying? How can she be happy if these kids keep getting their happiness robbed?

        Andrew contemplated what he should do. Should he let her vent? Should he try and comfort her more? Should he offer her to shut up and shove advice down her throat? 

        He decided it was probably best to just comfort her, he’d rather not see her cry. She can be emotional outside of his vision. As much as he likes this nurse, he hates sensitive people; maybe he just doesn’t like seeing someone he favors crying. 

        Andrew sighed, reaching over and placing both his hands on her face, wiping the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs. 

        “Hey, don’t cry.” He spoke. “It doesn’t look good on you, you know?”         

        (Y/N) sniffled as she tried to speak. The muscles in her throat felt restricting, preventing her from putting them to use, so she only just shook her head.

        “That video showed Hailey saying that she wanted you to get better, right?” Andrew pointed out, wiping the tears into her skin. 

        (Y/N) nodded, unsure of where he was trying to go with this.

        “So, she knew you weren’t feeling good, even when she wasn't doing good herself She cares about your health. Do you think crying would make her happy?” Andrew questioned. “I think it would just worry her about you. You wouldn’t want her to worry about you, would you?” 

        (Y/N) shook her head, her shoulders shaking from her sobs. 

        "You were there for her when no one else was? Isn't that all that matters in a kid's final moments?" Andrew questioned.

        Andrew's right, at least they didn't die alone. Dying alone must be one of the worst ways to die, alone to succumb to your own thoughts and regrets of what could've happen and what did. It must be worse slowly deteriorating over time, at least dying quick you wouldn't be alone with your thoughts, but dying alone just leaves your thoughts, which slowly fade over time the more and more you stop living and just start existing, before even you lose that too. 

        Yeah, being alone sucks, (Y/N) can vouch for that. Coming home to an empty house with nobody to greet you, eating meals alone, waking up alone and going to sleep alone, shopping alone. It's kind of like dying alone in one way. You're just waiting for that time to come when eventually you stop doing those other things, so you just go on autopilot and wait. Of course, she could easily change all that by dating someone or getting a pet for at home, but it's just so exhausting trying to find a good person to spend the rest of your life with. 

        There's a reason so many people are single in the dating pool. Besides, she doubts anyone would want to date her with her work schedule; she sleeps in the day and either works at night or stays up at night on her days off. Let's not forget how she's constantly tired and depressed, dating someone like her would be such a buzzkill, you'd have to be desperate; at least that's what her mother said to her last time they met up for dinner. 

        (Y/N)’s tears stopped, realizing Andrew was right. Hailey wouldn’t want her crying, and if (Y/N) died, she wouldn’t want to be sad either.

        (Y/N)’s sadness was soon replaced with embarrassment once she realized she was crying. Crying in front of a man and have the audacity to rely on him for her own emotions. It only makes it worse that he was her patient. This must be wrong in some way to be touching her patient like this, considering Andrew isn’t in any need of reassurance she should be providing as his nurse. 

        She pushed him away rather quickly, wiping her own tears out of her eyes instead of him doing it for her. Andrew looked confused, mentally wondering if he did something wrong. 

        Why the sudden change?

        (Y/N) adverted her eyes from his face, feeling childish and insecure for crying in front of someone. Even if he was pretty handsome to her, she’d rather not see the pity, or any other sort of expression on his face. 

        Andrew felt a bit annoyed at the sudden change. He was just holding her and comforting her. She was even leaning against him and crying into his chest! Why did she suddenly push him away? Why did she suddenly not want him anymore?

        His eye unconsciously twitched, showing his mild annoyance as a tinge of insecurity washed over him. Before he could question the sudden change of heart, the door opened, Penelope walking into the room.

        Penelope’s face brightened once she saw (Y/N), before it dropped noticing Andrew. Penelope suddenly became skittish, playing with her fingers as she avoided Andrew’s gaze (glare). 

        “Um… Mr. Graves, you’re not supposed to be here at night. It’s protocol for patients to be in their rooms in the night.” Penelope muttered, her green eyes staring down at the white tiles. “Should I escort you back to your room?”

        “No.” He spoke quickly, wanting nothing to do with Penelope.

        Andrew looked back at (Y/N), his gaze softening just a bit as he looked a bit concerned for her. He didn’t want to leave her. What if she needed help with something? What if she cried some more? What if she needed him?

        Andrew mentally groaned, conflicted with his emotions. He unlocked his wheelchair and wheeled to the door, Penelope stepping to the side so he could pass by her. 

        “You can come back during visiting hours.” Penelope added quietly, resulting in a harsh glare from Andrew.

        If only looks could kill.

        Penelope watched as Andrew left the room, before she closed the door behind her for privacy.

        “Gosh, he’s just so intimidating…” Penelope groaned, taking a seat in the room’s guest chair. 

        “He’s not so bad…” (Y/N) hummed, smiling.

        (Y/N)’s not too sure why Penelope’s afraid of Andrew. Sure, he’s a man, but he’s not really intimidating. Perhaps she’s grown desensitized to him and his menacing aura. 

        Or you know, perhaps she just likes red flags. A killer cannibal certainly is a red flag, but that’s just a theory.

        Besides, what’s he gonna do with two broken legs? Punch her? Penelope just has to climb up on the hospital bed or take the stairs. 

        Penelope took in (Y/N)’s appearance, a frown making way on her face.

        "Oh, you poor thing!" she spoke, the words sounding degrading enough, especially after (Y/N) was just crying a few minutes ago. "Who could do such a thing to you?"

        "Who knows..." (Y/N) muttered, ignoring the sudden shock of anger shooting through her.

        She looked at Andrew. Why did Penelope look at Andrew? Yeah, she was searching for him to bring him back to his room, but did she have to advert her eyes and mutter like a damn school girl? 

        The sudden jealousy pissed (Y/N) off, why was she acting like this? Why did she care? What does Penelope even want?

        "Did you need something?" (Y/N) questioned, not doing too well to hide her annoyance.

        Luckily, Penelope was a bit oblivious, yet still seemed a bit on edge.

        "Oh, sorry... Well, before I speak, how do you feel? Do you need anything? Food or water? Painkillers?" Penelope questioned.

        "I'm doing fine..." (Y/N) spoke, gritting her teeth as she smiled.

        "Good. Well, did you hear the news about that patient? Andrew Graves?" Penelope questioned.

        "What about him?" (Y/N) questioned, glancing at Penelope suspiciously as another volt of jealousy shot through her. 

        "Well, I did some digging online, and I found out he's wanted!" Penelope spoke, her voice a bit too loud for her liking.

        "So?" (Y/N) questioned, already knowing this information, before she quickly switched up her attitude, realizing that wasn't an appropriate social response. "Wait, what? Wanted? Like, by the police?" 

        "Yes!" Penelope nodded, leaning closer to (Y/N) in her chair as she spoke. "Wanted for murder! They said he killed four people at their old apartment. Him and his sister, Ashley. They even said one of the bodies had meat cut off it and it was cut up in pieces! They found DNA and blood in their kitchen, on the counter and pots and silverware!" 

        Well, the police only has to worry about one sibling now... (Y/N) thought to herself. 

        (Y/N) stayed silent, unsure of what a functioning human would respond to this. Honestly, she's grown quite comfortable with the fact Andrew is a killer and a cannibal. 

        "I mean, that's just... vile! And disgusting! How could someone do that?" Penelope questioned, her face turning as green as her eyes. 

        "Why did they do it?" (Y/N) questioned.

        "H-huh?" Penelope questioned, surprised. "What do you mean? They kill four people and ate one! They must be insane or something." 

        "Let's not jump to conclusions. We don't know why they did it." (Y/N) spoke. "Penelope, we should know better than anyone else that people act out for reasons. We're nurses, we deal with mental breakdowns and patients lashing out all the time, and we know they have motives behind it." 

        "Yeah, but that's a medical setting, when something's generally wrong with them! Andrew seems stable enough!" Penelope spoke. "He must've knew what he was doing!" 

        "Peer pressure?" (Y/N) suggested. "Perhaps his act is a facade? We don't know a person's thoughts or feelings. For all we knew, they could've been in a dire situation. I mean, who just randomly kills four people in one day and run? Something must've happened."

        Penelope looked frustrated, her bottom lip pouting as she clenched her fists. "And? So? Why should we care?! He killed four people, you know! We need to call the police!"

        "No! You can't!" (Y/N) quickly shot up from the bed, flinching as she felt a stabbing pain in her stomach where her wound was. 

        "What? Why not?" Penelope questioned, surprised at the sudden outburst as she leaned back in her chair. "Why are you defending him? We're nurses! We need to help protect people. He could hurt someone else here!" 

        "No! You can't take him!" (Y/N) shouted, throwing the bedsheets off her and rushing to Penelope, ignoring the pain shooting throughout her body as she placed both of her hands on the arm chairs, caging Penelope in. "You can't do that! I won't let you."

        "W-what? W-why are you acting like this?" Penelope squeaked, her hands pressing together as she curled herself up in a ball, sinking herself down in her chair as she stared up at (Y/N), frightened.

        (Y/N) paused, realizing the sudden position she put herself in. Damn it! Why did she just lash out like that? She's never like this! Why can't she just let Andrew go? She needed to think of something quick to diffuse this situation and convince Penelope not to report Andrew.

        "Don't you understand? The police are just going to keep him here until he heals up to where he can go to jail. If you report him now and he's aware of that, he might snap and actually hurt people." (Y/N) spoke, trying to come up with a false reason. "You'll just enrage him and give him a motive to hurt others. He hasn't injured anyone severely these past days, only a few books and hits thrown because he was afraid of us recognizing him and calling the police."

        Penelope looked uncertain, contemplating whether she should listen to the younger and injured nurse in front of her. 

        "B-but—" Penelope started, but was cut off by (Y/N).

        "Penelope, please. Don't be an idiot. Don't do something so unfathomably stupid!" (Y/N) pleaded.

        Just make the idea look stupid. Just act like Penelope's the one being insensible. 

        "He could really hurt someone if the police come and tell him he's arrested. They're just going to explain that he's under arrest, and will be escorted to prison once the doctors deem him healthy enough to go. He'll just be here, drugged up from his surgeries, and that could cause him to not think sensibly, it'll make him more of a hazard to others. We can't afford that, Penelope." (Y/N) explained. 

        Penelope adverted her eyes, (Y/N)'s words seeming to sink into her as she started to appear ashamed of what she was previously proposing.        

        "So... what now?" Penelope questioned. "He's not going to be able to stay here long anyways. We have no emergency contacts to contact for him. He has no records inside our hospital. He can't even fill out any of our forms or such because of his amnesia, either that or he's pretending to not to know the information." Penelope explained. "He doesn't have health insurance or can't remember it, and I doubt he can afford the hospital bills if he can't even remember anything! He probably doesn't even know his banking information if he has it!" 

        “If we tell him that, it’ll be bothersome…” (Y/N) explained. “I mean… he could get mad and hurt someone.”

        “Exactly!” Penelope exclaimed. “I-I don’t know what to do! Should we bring this up to HR or the head nurse?” 

        “No.” (Y/N) spoke quickly. “I-I mean, c’mon? It’s hard to trust these so-called professionals. The hospital is notorious for its accidents and fatalities. I mean, we're all working here because we were rejected by other hospitals because of our questionable backgrounds and court filings! For gods sake, there’s an advisement a town from here that has a doctor suggesting anesthesia for depression and it has our hospital name on it! We can't trust the board for anything!"

        “But… what can we do?” Penelope questioned, feeling hopeless.

        “We’re the smartest nurses in this whole shithole,” (Y/N) spoke.

        Maybe it was an exaggeration, but she needed Penelope to believe her, or at least stop her from reporting Andrew so that he could escape.

        Why does she care so much about a wrongdoer? He should be in prison, he should pay for what he’s done, but for some reason there’s a stabbing sensation in her chest at just the thought of not seeing him again. The feeling was almost as painful as the bleeding wound she currently had.

        She needed new bandages, she’s been putting too much stress her body. She would ask Penelope, but she’d rather not stick around with Penelope any longer. Sure, having Penelope around would make it so she’s less likely to snitch, but there’s also the possibility that she could potentially catch (Y/N)’s unnatural behavior and go back on her words. 

        "I-I just... what if we're making the wrong choice? I can't stand the thought that someone can get hurt." Penelope spoke.

        (Y/N) almost felt sorry for the young nurse. The nurse was only three years older than her, yet she seems utterly more helpless in life than (Y/N). Penelope has a bad luck streak with everything. She's terrible at math and doing her taxes. She's terrible at thinking for herself. She's grown up from foster home to foster home. Every relationship she's been in has been disastrous. 

        (Y/N) would care if Penelope didn’t have such an unhealthy obsession about finding love. The whole reason she became a nurse was to try and nurse someone to health so they’d love her; it’s almost sad, really.

        “I just can’t believe it…” Penelope groaned, burying her face into her hands. “Why are the cute guys always so unstable?”

        Nevermind. (Y/N) doesn’t feel sad for her at all. Absolutely no pity. Void of emotion. She was almost considering the idea of murdering Penelope. Seriously, you're caring about how cute a guy is despite him being a major threat to your life? Should you really be focusing on a cannibal's looks. 

        (Y/N) decided to bite her tongue. There was no reason to start a fight (that, and maybe she's just a bit guilty of this as well...) It still didn't stop the bubbling pot boiled inside her stomach and chest as she glared at Penelope though. 

        “Penelope, can you go find my nurse? I need a new change of bandages.” (Y/N) grumbled, desperate for Penelope to leave her as she sat back down on her bed, wincing as she overstrained herself once more.

        Maybe cornering and intimidating a person while injured isn’t the best course of action.

        “O-oh, right! Sure!” Penelope spoke, popping up from her makeshift ball as she stood up from her chair. “Whats your nurse’s name? I’ll go find them.” 

        “I don’t know their name. I didn’t met them, only my doctor.” (Y/N) explained.

        “Oh, okay then. Well, I’ll ask around and see if I can find them.” Penelope spoke, walking to the door. “Door open or closed?” 

        “Close it.” (Y/N) answered.

        Penelope nodding, closing the door and leaving (Y/N) to her own devices. (Y/N) let out a sigh of relief that Penelope was gone; however, there were other things to worry about.

        She needed to figure out a way to solve the Andrew situation. She could talk to Andrew herself and see if he has any insurance. She might be able to judge if he’s lying or not about knowing anything, if Andrew’s a good liar or not, that is. 

        She almost felt compelled to leave her room and go to Andrew’s. She could tell him what happens; no health insurance means paying the full entirety of the bills, which could be five digits to possibly even six after all his car, special requests/needs, surgeries, and days he’s spent admitted.

        It’s fine… she just needs to sleep. She can deal with it another day. If she sleeps now, time will pass quicker and she can get discharged. 

        She closed her eyes, seeing nothing but darkness as she used her drawback to escapism once more, distancing herself from reality as she did her best not to think about her patient.

And chapter 5 is done! I do apologize for it being so long, I wasn't planning on it being so long but I guess I did get a bit carried away... Chapter 6 will have quite a bit of drama and new characters being introduced! Now I just have to get chapter 6 done... which I'm unsure of when will be done, but it's in the works already! Thank you for your patience and for reading, and I'm excited for you all to see the development of (Y/N) and Andrew!

Want more Andrew Graves content? Check out the Andrew Graves masterlist!

Inbox is OPEN for questions about the story and new plotlines/ideas, not for request!

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, chapter 4, current chapter, chapter 6, Chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9 (in the works)

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[sevsbestfriend]

I usually write fics here but I just wanna rant rn.

Sometimes I got to old posts and stuff, either to get new ideas or just see what the fuck is going on with the other side of the fandom.

The people coming to James defense or crazy, like on one hand they are like 'oh he was only human, he grew as a person otherwise how would lily love him?'

We literally have cannon confirmation that the fucking prat didn't stop hexing people, he just learned to hide it better. Sirius and Remus confirmed this when they called Severus a 'special case'. I don't give a shit about them saying he attacked first, you better believe I am attacking first if I come across a guy who has stripped me naked in public when I didn't do shit to him. (Or the other guy who tried to get me killed by bloody werewolf) Like wtf are you even talking about at that point???

Also, Harry comes across a detention report of them hexing another student in their 7th year. So uhm...yeah.

Then they are like 'oh Severus hates him so his memories are biased'

Did you morons even read the books?? Pensive memories are unbiased, any manipulation is extremely apparent as we saw in Slughorns case. So NO they aren't biased that extremely uncomfortable read of SWM? it's fucking canon in its truest sense.

Also, how in the ever living hippogryph does a guy who strips people naked for fun change so much that he becomes head boy??

It's pretty simple, he doesn't. He learns to hide it better and given the fact that this person has always been given the benefit of the doubt, it is very easy for them to their nature.

Dude had a map that showed him everyone's real time location and an invisibility cloak, he could damn well harass anyone in isolated corners of the castle if he wished. Which is exactly what he did.

Also, these people love to claim how 'lily only approved of him cause he changed.'

To that I say, Who the fuck is Lily?? Mother Teresa??

How is she the ultimate decider of what is good and bad and at the same time, completely right in dating someone who stripped another student makes after a year (or 2) of the event??

Don't get me wrong, she doesn't owe Severus anything, really, but seriously this is just ridiculous. Like if I was a woman, I would be genuinely terrified of someone like that, especially when they got away with no real consequences what so ever.

James was a prick with a very good PR team for friends and teachers. That's really it, it is often said that good looking people can get away with a lot of things and James is just a prime example of that.

---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_

Also...BRAVE?? Dude had 2 cheat items and the advantage of a Pureblood upbringing and was still too PUSSY to face Severus alone. Yeah..what a real Gryphindor that one. Scrams bravery to you doesn't it? He did this all the way till 17, so yeah he definitely was super important in the order right??

---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_

Dumbledore invested quite a bit in the Marauders with his blatant favoritism and letting a werewolf in the school risking his own position as a headmaster.

And...they all turned to be bloody useless. With only James being useful because of his participation in the birth of Harry Potter.

Sirius in his madness derailed a murder investigation for a fucking decade.

Remus, I genuinely can't remember anything substantial Remus did, except for letting someone he believed was a murderer into Hogwarts and never telling Dumbledore that they were Animagus to begin with.

---_---_--_---_

Seriously, the most useful person in the war had to literally beg on his knees for the man to use him. Even fate was like, for fucks sake, just give this guy a chance already.

[dufferpuffer]

Just read your post about Tonks. Tonks surely was a student of Snape's. Just imagine. Tonks. In Potions. With Snape. Tonks, canonically the clumsiest character of the entire series. Potions. The SUBTLE science and EXACT art of potion-making. NO foolish wand-waving or silly incantations. Tonks is not subtle and exact. Tonks is foolish and silly. And that, to Snape, is INFURIATING. However, Tonks is an Auror. This means Tonks succeeded in getting an Outstanding O.W.L in Potions. This means Tonks took Potions N.E.W.T. This means Snape was probably hoping and praying he would never see her face again after her 5th year but SURPRISE. The girl is SMART and Snape is, unfortunately for him, a fair grader (yes he is idc what people say). I want to see this. I want to see Tonks being an absolute clumsy mess in Potions and Snape being livid but at the same time frustrated because he knows she has potential but she's just not careful and she's witty and talks back and he can't just truly hate her. THIS brings me to the scene in HBP where Tonks brings Harry to the gates after he got knocked out by Malfoy on the train. She sends a Patronous inside the school to get the gates opened. Snape comes and tells her that he noticed her Patronus had changed (now a wolf so cute omg). Therefore, Snape remembers her Patronus from before, but it's like he catches himself and makes a sly remark about her new Patronus being weak because it's a wolf. Like a father disapproving of his daughter's choices for falling in love with a mangy werewolf (love you Remus). Idk I loved that scene because it hints that they have a bit more history together than we think. It could also just be from both being part of the order, but I feel there is a bit more. What do you think dear tumblr friend?

I think she and Snape were buddies. As much 'buddies' as Snape can manage with a student, anyway.

There is a reason Tonks stomachs Moody so well - and its because she's had A LOT of practice with grumpy hard asses. She takes biting comments well, she isn't ever afraid to dish humor back, she knows well when to take things seriously and when to help lighten the mood - handy for people who can't relax easily.

She trained those teeth on Snape, I guarantee it. She LIKES bastards. She enjoys making people happy, she enjoys exceeding expectations, she likes proving herself reliable - and bastards are the hardest to please. She doesn't see blemishes or ugliness or scars - just the person. She likes making them smile.

She's clumsy. She's a disaster. He can't ignore her no matter how much he might want to sometimes - because she might die... ...and yet, her skill is obvious. She pulls through when she needs to. I like to think Potions might have been one of her worst subjects - but she worked hard at it, and enjoyed it, and asked questions.

Not just "Did I chop the Mudwort root thin enough, Sir?" But "Ey, Prof - if this potion utilities the healing properties within the cells of the root, shouldn't we be grinding it rather than slicing it...?" You know. She's actually invested, deeply learning about the topic, willing to experiment. Making him answer with thought. "...No, breaking the cell wall makes it burn away too quickly. We slice thinly to ensure good, even absorption."

And then her cauldron explodes later anyway because she accidentally tipped some leaves in with the slices. Oops. BUT... she will stay behind to fix it. She will ask to practice when she has free time. She isn't talented, nor careful - but its hard not to appreciate her enthusiasm and her dedication to success. He spent a lot of time with her. Being able to mark her a genuine "O" in her NEWTs was one of his proudest moments as a teacher.

Perhaps it's part of why Hermione annoys him so much, too - she appeared like an interested student on the surface, having read her books... but she never stepped the fuck up. She never tried. She never pushed it. She never used her brain. An insufferable know-it-all is ONLY better than a complete dunderhead in that they're safer to have in the classroom. But she doesn't encourage other students learning, she doesn't push herself, she doesn't actually care about the topic... just getting everything right, to prove she is smart or whatever.

Same with Neville: A clumsy oaf that seems to do nothing at all to mitigate that fact. barely even stays behind to clean his own messes. They say Longbottom is 'frightened of him' - well he isn't there to coddle him. He never needed to coddle Tonks. She took his bite as a challenge to do better and soared because of it. She was an oafish moron... but a rare gem.

...And then she started dating FUCKING LUPIN The first thing he said when she was so obviously showing interest it made him feel ill was "...You know he is a werewolf, yes?" And when she responded "Yeah, duh - what of it?" He groaned "Of course... you've never had any common sense..." And the look he snapped at her when she cheekily said "...Gave you hell at school, too - didn't he?"

Tonks teased him. Of course she did. There were days when he walked into class to see she had turned into a foolish version of him... But she knew how to hold back. She is a highly empathetic woman. Even when she was young... the few times she sensed perhaps she went too far: She was mature enough to apologize. Sensitive enough to realize he would not want such apology in front of others, either - and wait till after class to hang her head. It was difficult to stay mad at her. She was just too damn earnest.

In many ways: She reminded him of Lily. Firey, obsessed with magic, popular, friendly - brightened up every room she entered. Seemingly cared about everyone. Even him. It was just... pleasant. Familiar. She was a very different person, of course - but interacting with her felt a little like home. Perhaps a few times a little piece of him slipped out to her - something more juvenile and playful than he has been for years.

...That's what I think, tumblr friend B^) I think its a good thing they didn't find out eachother had died. They would have been distraught for eachother.

But if they both lived...? I think she could have been the thing that healed Snape and Lupins relationship. They both care for her - and can at least be civil with eachother for her sake.

Imagine: post-war family BBQ's with Snape and Lupin arguing over how to cook. Lupin wants to prove himself handy but Snape knows he's fucking useless. (Tonks is the true BBQ dad.) Snape babysitting Teddy. He'd be such a good uncle.

EDIT: Remus and Tonks were BOTH awful at potions. Tonks at least became competent through sheer effort - but they still both go to beg him for help when they need anything. I think Lupin/Tonks/Snape would be fun :^)

[palesweetscherryblossom]

Platonic Yandere Naga Todoroki family

(This was a long time coming. This is completely disconnected from the Mythical Forest au btw)

Warning: Mentions of stalking, violence and Yandere behavior.

-These guys are extremely feared by villagers and tourists alike, Enji had gathered quite the reputation for being a massive asshole. A violent asshole to be exact.

-Rei and her children are far more merciful and generous, helping out lost people and giving them directions.

-Except Dabi, he’s just a smug bastard who will probably lead you into crocodile invested waters for shits and giggles.

-You were the child of infamous explorers, whom have decided to explore the Todorokis’ forests.

-It was Shoto who discovered you first, watching you from the trees once he got wind that there were humans around.

-He ended up saving your life because a jaguar attempted to attack you.

-You were a little freaked out by the fact that a creature like Shoto existed but you became chill around him.

-Shoto then decided to tell his family about you. Enji was going through his redemption process as no one was tolerating him anymore. (Dabi tried suffocating him-)

-So now you have a snek family stalking you.

-Rei is just instantly in love with you, you’re just so adorable to her.

-Fuyumi leaves you little things that kids your age might like. I.E little hand woven dolls, books she had picked up from abandoned structures.

-Shoto and Natsou keep you safe from threats. Hanging out in trees in the late night hours.

-Enji stays at the den, as his kids are like: My dude, thin fucking ice.

-Dabi occasionally hangs out with his brothers on night shift but other than that, he’s fucking with crew.

-Casually depositing venom into a crew member’s water, breaking someone’s ankle.

-You are currently quite content with everything, especially with the all the little gifts and occasional visits from your friend Shoto.

-Until they fully raid your camp. Enji and Dabi handle everything whilst the rest of the family get you.

-Understandably, you’re quite upset about your family possibly being murdered and being abducted by snake people.

-Rei and Fuyumi are utterly upset with your crying and screaming, Shoto feels especially bad.

-Once you get comfortable in the den, everyone is satisfied. They have obtained their hatchling!

-Rei is obsessed with you, doing your hair, snuggling you. You’re her baby! She especially loves it when you willingly snuggle with her.

-Fuyumi teaches you essential skills about surviving and how to function. She’s really gentle but can get a little bit overwhelming. She’s wary around the idea of you potentially flocking together with human kind.

-It took a while for you and Shoto to rebuild trust, he was genuinely sorry. He’s loving and gentle with you but a bit clingy. He can’t stand the idea of humans reclaiming you.

-Natsou is probably the most chill and level headed of the family. He’s patient and scolded everyone for being overwhelming. He handles your health stuff, making sure you don’t die. Natsou can’t stand you being around Enji, given how Enji is a violent asshole.

-Dabi is a strange guy, he lurks around the den, just eyeing you with an indescribable gaze. He scares You honestly, especially since he’s the most trigger happy of the clan. He’s gentle with you, snuggling you whenever he wants. He’s not afraid to make his disdain for Enji and Shoto clear, giving a nasty hiss towards them. Don’t run off when he’s around, just don’t.

-Enji is probably the most gentle with you, but wary. He knows that he’s on thin ice around his family and will probably get turned into a hashtag by his sons if he fucks up. He uses his tail as a weighted blanket for you tho.

@thecuriousquest

@messedupcookiejar

@bongo020405

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Since you mentioned it: thoughts on Come as You Are from a gender-weird perspective? I’ve had two people recommend it to me, but neither are good at recognizing cis-sexism until it’s pointed out to them. And the premise just sounds infuriatingly bio-essentialist.

I was talking about this with someone else on the original post where I mentioned it the other day, but tl;dr: it contains a lot of genuinely really good advice that I give out anyway (worry less about orgasm and changing sex drive levels, if you're too stressed to be horny you need to deal with the stress before the horny, talk to your partner, etc), so I strongly condone that.

I wouldn't call the book bioessentialist so much as extremely invested in challenging the impulse many cis women (the book's primary subjects, as acknowledged by Nagoski) feel to compare their sexual function unfavorably to that of cis men. both scientifically and anecdotally it's just a true thing that a lot of people with vaginas need much more time and energy to reach sexual satisfaction than people with penises; I've spent a good deal of time talking about it on this very blog, as Emily Nagoski has worked through it with many patients. some of the biological background she offers about differences in arousal can be predictably cis-centered, but I don't consider that a shortcoming of Nagoski's work so much as sexual research at large. historically and at present, trans people are still unfortunately excluded as subjects from most studies that don't specifically pertain to trans identity.

I honestly automatically have more respect and patience for any sex writer who will just acknowledge up front that their primary realm of study and expertise is cis women and that that's the presumptive audience they're speaking to, so I'm kind of down to cut Nagoski a fair amount of slack on that? and I def know of folks with vaginas who are not women who got a lot out of the book regardless. it's up to you if you personally want to read around the woman-centered language or not, but the info is solid.

[zaebeecee]

Helluva Boss Full Moon Episode Analysis 🌕 ✨

My very long and detailed personal analysis of the scene we were all waiting for below the cut. Spoilers, obviously, so don’t click if you don’t wanna see that. Also, this is just my own opinion, it’s cool if you don’t agree.

Also, I took all these screenshots on my phone because it’s all I have, so I apologize for the constant presence of the “hey you wanna change apps now or something” bar at the bottom of the screen.

tl;dr: Both Stolas and Blitzø are at fault here, and that’s the point of the episode.

So, I’m gonna start right after Stolas requests his book back and informs Blitzø that he needs it permanently.

Blitzø argues that he needs the book for his job. And that’s true, Moxxie already spelled that out earlier in the episode. But we have seen Blitzø trying to persuade Stolas before, and this is not how he does it. Whenever he persuades Stolas for something that is based in purely selfish reasons, he leans on his sexuality and on Stolas’ desire, not on straight up begging. All day, he has been plagued by Loona’s words that Stolas has been getting bored of him, and the fact that the first thing Stolas does is request his grimoire back is proof that she was right.

But Blitzø, being Blitzø, can’t just say that he’s scared Stolas has gotten bored of him, so he goes back to the thing Stolas already knows: he needs the book for his job.

Stolas, of course, was anticipating this. That’s why he has the Asmodean crystal prepared and within reach to give to Blitzø in exchange, probably to assuage his fears about the future of his company. He genuinely cares about Blitzø’s passions, and because of that, he is genuinely invested in his work and wants to do whatever he can to help him. Additionally, not only will the crystal end the transactional nature of their relationship, it will free Blitzø—and his employees—of the burden of being held accountable for law breaking.

Blitzø, on the other hand, wasn’t expecting anything like this. He has known from day one that if Stolas ever takes his book back, that’s the end of I.M.P. For Stolas to then turn around and tell him that he got a crystal for him (and advocated to Asmodeus on Blitzø’s behalf, no less) is something he probably never imagined would happen, much less anticipated.

For Stolas, a member of demonic royalty and of a privileged class of demon, this isn’t that big of a gesture. It’s big, of course—Stolas isn’t stupid, he knows how difficult it is for a non-Lust demon to acquire one of these crystals and is aware that his connections are the reason he was able to do this at all—but to him, it’s something of a no-brainer.

Stolas could not imagine a reality where he denied Blitzø anything, at least not right now. So, in his desire to end the transaction, it’s only natural to him that he would find another way for Blitzø to do his job, one where he doesn’t have to rely on anyone but himself. And in a rational situation, Stolas would be entirely right.

But this isn’t a rational situation. Blitzø doesn’t hear that he’s not beholden to anyone anymore, what he hears is that his excuse to see Stolas and pretend that it isn’t emotional has been taken away from him. That’s why he says they can just keep doing things the old way: he’s so emotionally constipated that if he loses the book, he either has to confront his feelings for Stolas or never see him again. And it might not matter anyway, because if Blitzø believes that Stolas only wants sex and has grown bored of him, this is simply a very expensive way to say “I don’t need you anymore”.

I think Stolas placing the stone on Blitzø’s bracer is a very important detail for the way things go in both of their minds, and it is very different:

For Stolas, he has proven to Blitzø that he is serious in his offer, and that this crystal belongs to him. He knows Blitzø is suspicious and untrusting, and by fastening it to him in a way that means Stolas himself cannot take it back, it shows Blitzø that Stolas truly means what he’s saying. It’s a display of selfless sincerity, and of trust, because if Blitzø took off that moment, there would be nothing Stolas could really do about it.

However, for Blitzø, Stolas has just taken away his autonomy and made the decision for him. Before he even had a chance to parse his thoughts on what’s happening, Stolas places the crystal on him, even though the only answer he has given is a fairly explicit “but I don’t want this”.

When Stolas tells Blitzø that he doesn’t have to stay, but that Stolas wants him to, he is showing an emotionally vulnerable side of himself that he only ever lets Octavia see. He is bearing his soul to Blitzø, because he wants to make it perfectly clear what he wants. And it’s so very important to emphasize that Stolas is very clear and direct in what he wants, because he doesn’t want to accidentally give Blitzø the wrong impression. He’s put a lot of thought into this, primarily because he’s been obsessing over what he was going to say ever since he went to ask Asmodeus for the crystal in the first place.

However, it’s also important to remember that Stolas is the one who prepared himself for this conversation. Of course he has a beautiful speech prepared and has reasoned out his arguments and knows exactly what he plans to do.

Blitzø is not prepared for this, however. Blitzø, who has convinced himself that a prince could never actually want an imp (especially one like him), who has spent all day telling himself that he isn’t feeling emotional over this and running all over town to acquire as much as possible because he’s afraid Stolas is getting bored, is completely blindsided by the sudden deluge of real emotion that’s pouring out of Stolas. Blitzø is already exceedingly bad with words, and because of his self-hate, he leans on the idea that it’s a kinky roleplay because that’s so much easier for him to believe.

Stolas, of course, has no reason to know any of this. To his eye, he just presented his heart to Blitzø on a platter, and Blitzø immediately turned flippant and dismissive, an obvious rejection of what he just metaphorically gutted himself over. To him, Blitzø has just affirmed that he doesn’t take this seriously, isn’t anywhere near as invested in it as Stolas is himself, and doesn’t actually want him.

To Stolas, this is the end of the conversation. He ended the transaction, he asked Blitzø for a real relationship, and Blitzø said no. With nothing else to discuss, Stolas leaves the room, probably assuming Blitzø will leave the way he came in. I would imagine that, after living with Stella for so long, the best way to deal with an awkward situation has always been to remove himself from that situation entirely. For him, this is a kindness, because otherwise the room is about to get very uncomfortable.

To Blitzø, this is a dismissal that Stolas would give to a servant or someone else he deems as lesser. He even asks if Stolas was serious in a disbelieving manner, because the idea of everything Stolas said being genuine is too alien for him. When he runs after Stolas, he clearly still doesn’t even know what he’s going to say, because things are moving too fast for him to process.

Stolas is, in my opinion, completely justified in his feelings. He’s hurt, because he’s cared so much for Blitzø for so long, and he tells him as much because Stolas is still trying to be fully upfront and honest. He believes he received Blitzø’s answer, as well as confirmation that everything has always been about sex.

I think it’s this, in particular, that sets Blitzø off. The transactional relationship was Stolas’s idea. Stolas spent every moment they were together, especially early S1, doing nothing but hitting on Blitzø. He even tells Stolas, in his mind, that he knows he only wants sex after the disaster at Ozzie’s, which was also the last time they talked in person. Blitzø is hearing his own words being used against him, realizing how much it hurts, and lashing out because anger is how he responds to strong emotion. (This is a bad thing, by the way. I’m not condoning it, just making an observation.)

Because he’s lashing out, Blitzø proceeds to verbally dump on Stolas, but he says something very important: he tells Stolas he needs a minute to think.

Blitzø was, again, blindsided by this conversation. He was then put on the spot and made to give an answer immediately, and when he wasn’t able to provide an in-depth, soul-searching, thoroughly considered answer off the cuff, he lost any opportunity to even attempt to recover the situation. And in my opinion, this is the most unfair thing Stolas does this entire scene. He seems to have completely forgotten that Blitzø isn’t prepared, and expects him to be as ready for this as he is himself.

When Blitzø tears into Stolas about his station, and about how the rich treat people like him, it’s clearly something he’s been wanting to say for quite some time. But he’s emotional, he’s not thinking straight, and he says things far harsher than he means to (which I’ll expound on in a moment). One of Blitzø’s flaws is saying things without thinking them through, and it definitely fucks him over right here.

Blitzø has no way of knowing that what he just said to Stolas is almost identical to what Striker said when he kidnapped and almost killed Stolas. But it is: both of them directly state that Stolas uses people beneath him because he can. Just like Blitzø didn’t hear Stolas’s sincerity, Stolas isn’t hearing Blitzø’s turmoil. Instead, he hears that the man he loves has the same opinion of him as someone who tried to kill him multiple times. That has to be a heartbreaking feeling, especially since Stolas seems to have been actively working to not be like his fellow royals, and it hurts him that Blitzø doesn’t see that.

Blitzø doesn’t just feel bad when he sees Stolas crying. When he hears Stolas’s words, he realizes what it was that he just said and that he didn’t mean it. He even tries to apologize; when he reaches out, he’s halfway through “I’m sorry” once he realizes he’s been teleported outside. And Blitzø never apologizes, not so directly, which means he knows that he hurt Stolas and he knows that Stolas didn’t deserve it.

I also think so much of his frustration stems from the fact that he wasn’t given an opportunity to explain himself. It was explaining that started healing his relationship with Fizzarolli, after all, and not having the same chance here was clearly fucking him up.

Here’s my takeaway from this episode: this argument needed to happen if their relationship was going to evolve in a healthy way. Both of them had put too much baggage into what they currently had, and the only way to fix that was to dump it out on the proverbial table the way they did. And, because they needed to dump their baggage, it makes sense that it ended with both of them wounded.

Both of them need time to work things out, be alone with their thoughts, and try to get over their own bullshit.

Blitzø needs to learn how to let himself open up to emotion, even just a little bit, and how to express himself without sarcasm, anger, or tears.

Stolas needs to learn how to actually listen to others (which we know is a problem from the time he took Via to Loo Loo Land after being told point blank she didn’t want to go).

Both of them did things wrong. And both of them did things right: Stolas was so honest and straightforward, and Blitzø immediately realized a place he had fucked up and tried to fix it immediately. And I think this argument needed to be both of their fault, ultimately, because something on this scale would be almost impossible to come back from otherwise.

Painful, but necessary. And it’ll just mean their making up will be that much more satisfying.

[earl-grey-teacake]

what if my world is becoming you sounds delightful and i am SUCH a fan of all the snippets you’ve posted! however.. do you have any more ideas for the victorian loscar au? bridgerton has made me even more enthusiastic for how their courting will go. and your descriptions of long suffering carlos w his love sick son oscar always amuse me, not to mention george’s over protectiveness and alex torturing him by helping logan 🫶

I absolutely have more ideas for the Victorian Loscar AU. The AU is abo/omegaverse but I am changing some of the rules and stuff.

Courting gifts- they are a big deal. Traditional courting gifts were expected to not be super expensive since it could be interpreted as a bribe. At the beginning of the courtship, the recipient would be sent books, flowers, and sweets. As it got more serious, it would be things geared towards personal interests like hats and hat pins, soap, scarves. The most serious would be jewelry (often bearing family crests or colors), perfume, and most importantly gloves since they cover the scent glands.

Hierarchy- So in this society, the hierarchy from top to bottom is title -> secondary gender -> gender. As a result, secondary gender is what decides if someone can inherit a title. Lia, who is Logan’s younger sister in this AU, is actually the heir after George because she is an Alpha compared to Logan, who is an omega even if he is the eldest son.

Very close knit family. I just want Logan to be loved and happy and supported. Everyone is invested and supportive of Logan and Oscar’s courtship. His family genuinely wants him to find love and not worry about having to marry for title and money.

Oscar is very much ‘I never cared about dating and now I have to date and court and it’s a nightmare” - (this is me)

Carlos is “we paid so much for you to go to school and travel the world and this is the result?”

Lando is “yeah, don’t write that in a letter to Logan. Alex might not care but George will definitely care and I do not need to hear him go on about it.”

One of the biggest things I know I want to include is that Oscar is not good at courting. He��s rich, titled, good looking, but he’s not suitable in the marriage market because he just doesn’t know the correct way to court. For all its speak of finding love in marriage, there were very strict rules on how to go about it and how to communicate and Oscar is very bad at it. He fumbles, messes up but gets up and tries again and again. Carlos is exasperated, George is worried for the future of his child, and Alex admires Oscar’s refusal to give up.

I hope you enjoy these. I tried to give a variety of world building and of the characters. These are subject to change but not likely. If you want more or for me to delve into specifics, feel free to let me know 😊

[sweetnnaivete]

— minerva mcgonagall moodboard + headcanons

— summary bc minerva ROCKS i love her (also outing myself as a mcgonagall x pomfrey shipper LMFAOOO) — a/n i said i was jus gonna do hcs 🫣 but i couldn't help but do a moodboard — taglist @picklerab23 @lovelorngirl @that-random-poseidon-child @nuncscioquidsitamor-13 (sorry if any of you didn't want to be tagged, i just tagged ppl who seemed interested 😓)

HEADCANONS UNDER CUT

ᥫ᭡. her father fought in ww2, and both she and her mother took care of him when he was back, as he struggled with ptsd

ᥫ᭡. she loved growing up in a muggle village, partly bc she felt special and smart, but also bc it made her have a closer relationship with her father

ᥫ᭡. when she got to hogwarts, the sorting hat took a long time to put her in a house, before she swore at it in her head and it screeched “GRYFFINDOR”

ᥫ᭡. sidenote: minnie def uses muggle swear words ik my girl is not saying "merlin's saggy ballsack" at every inconvenience

ᥫ᭡. she became popular pretty quickly, but she only had one real friend — poppy pomfrey

ᥫ᭡. they went EVERYWHERE together

ᥫ᭡. they were the big sisters of gryffindor house, even of hogwarts in general

ᥫ᭡. minnie got top grades in all her classes, so the only thing that offered a challenge to her was quidditch

ᥫ᭡. she'd read about in some books, but she had never played it before, so she tried out her second year, but failed to get in

ᥫ᭡. but over the summer she practiced, and got in her third year

ᥫ᭡. a lot of people were cruel to her, since she was a girl, which kept getting in her head and worsened her performance

ᥫ᭡. on one match, the bullying got so bad she didn't show her face the whole rest of weekend — even though they ended up winning

ᥫ᭡. poppy found out why and she hexed the bullies, giving them really bad nosebleeds

ᥫ᭡. minnie got back to playing quidditch, and was better than ever

ᥫ᭡. sidenote: everytime minnie got hurt in a match, she'd get taken care of by poppy (who volunteered at the hospital wing) and asjsksja so hurt comfort 😭 i love them

ᥫ᭡. in her fourth year, she dated a fellow chaser for a few months, but she was never really invested

ᥫ᭡. meanwhile, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous when poppy got in a relationship herself

ᥫ᭡. she broke up with her boyfriend on a hogsmeade weekend and he got mad and tried to hit her but she hexed him and left him rolling around in the snow in pain

ᥫ᭡. (because of this, she got called to the headmaster's office, and was put in detention, tho she negotiated it to only be once rather than a whole week)

ᥫ᭡. because of her experience taking care of her father, she was one of the most compassionate students, and eventually teachers, towards the younger ones who struggled with mental health

ᥫ᭡. she and poppy, already popular for their beauty and personalities, became known for their genuine kindness

ᥫ᭡. she and poppy became prefects at the same time, furthering their reputation as the gryffindor mothers

ᥫ᭡. she passed her o.w.l.s with flying colors, etc. etc.

ᥫ᭡. she spent the whole summer before her sixth year with poppy, eating ice cream, taking the train to edinburgh to go to the museums and “experience some culture”

ᥫ᭡. they def “practiced kissing” on each other, even though they'd both already had their first kisses

ᥫ᭡. the next year, minnie worked on becoming an animagus, under the supervision of dumbledore

ᥫ᭡. she became an animagus in a little over seven months, due to a few failed attempts, but!!! she got their in the end bc of course she did she's mcgonagall

ᥫ᭡. from that point forward she was constantly turning into her cat form, bc she loved yowling at her fellow students when they pissed her off

ᥫ᭡. of course she had to keep the fact that she was an animagus a secret, even tho she did it legally

ᥫ᭡. sixth and seventh year she got a lot of awards for transfiguration, but now she was starting to worry about where she would go in her career

ᥫ᭡. most of her teachers insisted she take up a teaching position at hogwarts but she was like “no😭😭 i hate kids”

ᥫ᭡. after graduation, she got a job at a magazine in london, where she had a column about transfiguration. she interviewed famous people, talked about how transfiguration and other forms of magic can be mixed, etc.

ᥫ᭡. but she wasn't happy

ᥫ᭡. at this point, she was penpals w poppy, who was working back at hogwarts

ᥫ᭡. poppy filled her in on the drama, and when minnie found out dumbledore was leaving his position as transfiguration professor to be headmaster, she rushed to apply

ᥫ᭡. obviously, she was given the job

— now for some headcanons from when she was a professor !

ᥫ᭡. one time minnie got in a fight with another animal in her animagus form and she showed up to class the next day with nicks in her ear and a limp

ᥫ᭡. causing a school-wide rumor that she was secretly in a gang (she doesn't deny it)

ᥫ᭡. minnie in animagus form always accompanied remus on the full moon, to make sure he never hurt himself too badly

ᥫ᭡. mcgonagall def picked favorites, but they had to earn it. some of her notable favorites: molly weasley, bill weasley, regulus black, remus lupin, andromeda black, mary macdonald, hermione granger, luna lovegood, neville longbottom, harry potter, fred & george weasley, and lee jordan (the quidditch commentator)

that's all i can think of right now, feel free to add on! <3

[urlocalboynoah]

Hi! May I request Ultra Magnus (tfp) having to watch Jack, Miko and Raf for a day, being forced to play a board game and to the surprise of everyone getting very invested in it?

☆彡彡 ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ミミ☆

Hi !! I'd be more than happy to provide you with some content! AS MUCH AS I DISLIKE THIS BOT (joke, kinda, he's just old..) I think he's interesting to work with. So, here we go ! I apologize if this isn't perfect, it's my first time posting something I've wrote before. It'll be a small fic, let me know what you think of it !

¹ ❥ ☆ Mini Fic

² ♰ Transformers Prime

³ ˋˋ SFW ☆

Just one game !

“ Here is her guitar, her hairbrush, drawing book and all her drawing stuff. ”

Bulkhead pointed out each element as he spoke, making sure of Ultra Magnus following his exact directions. The ex-leader looked at the Wrecker confused, raising an eyebrow. He seemed to be wondering what could go so wrong with such tiny humans, and why the big bot felt so anxious at the idea of leaving Miko behind. He thought he was certainly being overdramatic.

“ that should be everything.. I need to go, they're gonna wait for me. ”

Bulkhead simply added before quickly waving Miko goodbye, transforming and entering the groundbridge, as Bumblebee and Arcee were already far ahead.

The bridge closed, and finally it was only him and the humans. He still wondered what so bad could happen for the three guardians to be worried. He looked over at them, sat on the couch, playing video games. They were relatively calm and still. The older bot thought now would be a great time to start working on some of his unfinished projects. The base was calm, the kids were entertained.

For now.

A loud, strident yelp came out from behind him. Startled, he looked over at the kids, instantly worried someone broke in. But no, it was just the Japanese girl, shouting at her friends because she lost the game. The commandant rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed.

“ Will you tone it down ? ”

He firmly asked, though it sounded more like an order. The young girl looked at him desperately, groaning.

“ THEY'RE CHEAATIIIIIING. I keep loosing, it's unfair. ”

“ In that case, you should switch games. ”

He stated, as if it was an evidence for him to move on from something that gets on your nerves. The girl stared at the bot, as if he said an absurdity, before she exclaimed.

“ YOU'RE A GENIUS !! let's play.. A board game!! What do you guys think ? ”

Jack shrugged and crossed his arms, apparently okay with the idea. The younger of them all jumped off of the couch, excited by Miko's proposal.

“ awesome idea ! Though, we miss a player. ”

Raf stated, his hands now on his chin, thinking.

It didn't take long for Jack to point at Ultra Magnus.

“ hey! Wanna join ? We'll teach you! ”

The leader looked perplex, not convinced at the idea of joining this “activity”. He stared for a moment, considering. It could be fun, after all, and give him a break from all the stress of battles.

“Very well. But only one game, I have to stay alert in case anything happens.”

The older boy nodded and signed him to get closer, which he did. The three humans started explaining to the bot the rules, to which he was surprisingly getting very interested in. They then got to the first game. Raf won, and, angry at himself, Ultra Magnus asked him some tips to get better.

“ how about we do a second round, then? ”

He proposed, to the happy surprise of the kids, that appeared to be pleased by the idea of the leader.

And then, they went on for hours.

The guardians came back several hours later, and, curious of the laughs and giggles they were hearing, snuck up on them.

They could not believe it. He was having a moment of genuine fun with the kids, that they all seemed to enjoy in it's fullest.

The three bots sighed in unison, relieved to see how well it went.

“Alright kids, it is getting late. Time for rest.”

The older bot announced, as he noticed the humans yawning. Without any signs of resistance, they hopped in his servos as he started walking to their room. He noticed Bumblebee, Arcee and Bulkhead here, to which he simply nodded without stopping. Once he made sure they were safe, he softly smiled.

“ I assume it went well..? ”

Arcee questioned, to which Ultra Magnus simply hummed.

“ we had a great time.”

He assured, a satisfied grin on his face.

. . . Written by Noah . . .ᐟ ☆

[charlessmiths-wife]

today I’ve been gradually reminded of how much I love Daniela more and more. so have these few head cannons to commemorate that

cw - mentions of sex/sexual content

DANI HCS

-> soft.

-> like, her skin is so so soft - she makes a perfect pillow.

-> also, always alarmingly cold to sleep beside. to the point you once woke up bc you felt smth wet sliding along your arm only to realise it was her hand sliding up and down you. She’s oblivious to how freezing she is too.

-> “I wanted to warm you up!”

-> yeah, with her ice cold hands.

-> LOVES reading, but also if you introduced the concept of video games to the Dimitrescu family, Dani would go ape shit.

-> she would be a MENACE on Wii sports

-> would 100% get fully invested in games like tomodachii life, animal crossing, Stardew valley

-> someone buy this woman a Nintendo switch, please.

-> she already loves playing board games, though - I’d risk to say that she’s actually the most competitive (maybe behind Cassandra)

-> absoloute BEAST at cluedo. will win every time.

-> she’s a cuddler!

-> I agree with the general fandom hc she’s the most physically affectionate… HOWEVER I ARDENTLY DISAGREE WITH THE ONE SHES GOT THE HIGHEST SEX DRIVE

-> listen, Dani likes sex - but it’s not a necessity for her every single day. and it’s certainly not something she takes lightly.

-> to her - someone obsessed with romance novels - it’s an act of intimacy. a showing of love between two people.

-> so whilst she has some experience, I truly believe she’s only ever slept with people she’s loved - at some point or another.

-> and this means she’s not generally a fan of quickies. sure, sometimes they can be enjoyable, but she typically likes to take her time with her partner - kissing and worshipping every inch of skin she can.

-> (praise kink, both giving and receiving)

-> her love language is a mix of physical affection, words of affirmation, and gift giving.

-> all five are important to her, but those are her top three.

-> especially physical affection and words of affirmation. she loves you so much, some days she just clings to you when she can. telling you how important you are to her, how much she loves you and wants to be with you forever, all whilst softly kissing your lips or forehead.

-> her face way to cuddle is to lie face to face, her head in your neck or vice versa.

-> she can see you that way, and softly kiss your cheeks.

-> and the gift giving. God, the gift giving.

-> just always showering you with the most expensive jewellery, perfumes, clothes, books - literally anything she can

-> and when you try to tell her to stop, that it’s too much and you feel bad - she reassures you absoloutely not too, because she loves doing it.

-> “I just want my darling to have the best possible stuff” she’d say, kissing your cheek

-> I think Dani can very often be seen as the most goofy of the Dimi sisters, whilst I don’t disagree with this - I don’t entirely agree with it either?

-> she can be as sincere, brooding, quiet, and closed off as her sisters can be at first.

-> but she’s much easier to break than Bela or Cassandra are, I think. She opens up to you much quicker.

-> simply put, I think all three are little shitheads with hearts of gold and complete melts deep down, (yk, if you ignore the murder and stuff) however, Dani’s meltines is just easier to bring to the forefront.

-> surprisingly good cook?

-> this is funny because it stands in contrast to my own personal hc for Bela. which is that woman cannot cook to save her LIFE.

-> so I have an interesting mental image of cooking with the pair, Bela slowly and slowly becoming more frustrated with how easy

-> Alcina is a good mother, she genuinely cares for all her children and I would just like to state I strongly believe that

-> however, I do think Dani has felt slightly neglected in the past. at times it’s seemed as if Bela and Cassandra are more useful to her mother, leading Daniela to believe she values them more.

-> however, this isn’t true - and she’s always calmed down by assurances of her mothers love for her.

-> she loves both her sisters, but I think she gets on with Bela slightly better than Cass. Her and Cass have a unique relationship, I don’t think they’ve always gotten along - but they love each other so much, any differences have only ever came because they’ve looked out for each other.

-> all three of them truly love each other, though. and they’re all insanely competitive.

-> over stupid things though. Like these three would be horrible to play a game of monopoly with.

-> whilst I don’t agree with the idea I’ve occasionally seen that Dani isn’t a danger (because… she literally did spend her section of the game trying to kill a man, just like the others) I do agree that she’s the most… civil, let’s say , with the maids

-> this isn’t to say I generally agree the other Dimitrescus spend their time just killing any and everybody, because I don’t - but this is me saying I think Daniela generally tries to somewhat get on with the help where she can. talking to them about books, the village, anything. it gives her company, which is something I think she values.

-> the most poetic person ever maybe. she spends so much time reading - both novels and poetry - it almost bleeds into how she speaks.

-> her favourite book is the secret garden - I just think it fascinates her, especially during the winter months where she can’t leave the Castle.

-> very sleepy girly, nothing usually too excessive, but she definitely gets her full eight hours every night, usually up to nine or ten - and on rare days she’s even been known to sleep fourteen hours.

-> god, I could go on forever. I just love her so much she deserves the world I’m so soft for her 🥹🥹 apologies for how incoherent this likely was, I just have so many thoughts on her and I sort of word vomited them lol

[astarionslittlejuicebox]

Reflected in Someone's Eyes (Part 2)

Author: @astarionslittlejuicebox

Imagine: Astario’s POV after he waits to see what the reader has been working so diligently on since the mirror conversation.

Pairing: Astarion x F!Reader

Trigger warnings: Fluff, embarrassment, feelings of unworthiness, mentions of blood/vampires/etc, minor spoilers, suggestive themes 

Word Count: 1243

Side Notes: E/C = Eye color, Y/N = your name, Y/R = your race, H/C = hair color

Part One

“Who knows? Only time will tell.” Y/N’s words rang through his head after that night. Quite a bit of events had happened to the party since the conversation Astarion had with Y/N that night, but the anticipation of what she had to show him was eating him alive. Tonight marked night three since he stumbled upon her engrossed in her mysterious book, and, after everyone had gone to bed for the night, Astarion waltzed his way towards his favorite tasty treat. She appeared as though she was waiting for him as she gave him a smile when he arrived at her tent entrance. 

“Goodie. You came. I finished my surprise.” The prideful smile on her face made Astarion’s undead heart skip a beat. He cocked an eyebrow at her whilst he spoke.

“Oh? Well, don’t keep me waiting darling. Let’s see what dark fantasies you’ve been dreaming of in that book.” Astarion held his hand out expectantly, but he was surprised when Y/N put a single sheet of paper from the book into his hand.

“It’s not perfect. It seems to be hard to capture the exact essence of your appearance.” Her words were barely a whisper as he looked at the intricate sketch of himself. He marveled at the care this woman had taken to try and capture even the smallest detail of his hair. “You are quite the frustrating subject to capture using pencils though.” He glanced from the picture to look at her, but she was looking at the piece of art in his hand. “You see, your hair at the top of your head lies a certain kind of way, and I have been trying ceaselessly to make sure I got that part right. Alas, I have done the best I could do, but it’s far from perfect.”

“Well, it is quite hard to capture perfection.” Astarion spoke softly as he softly looked at the woman beside him. He admired how her H/C was falling out of the bun, and how her eyes shone with a sense of accomplishment when she looked at her handiwork in his hands. 

“If I were back home, I would ask you to sit still long enough for me to try and paint a portrait of you.” Astarion knows his face gave away his shock. 

“My, my, my, my tasty little treat is also an artist. Who knew?” Even Astarion was shocked by the softness in his voice as he took a good look at his traveling companion. The days of travel had taken a toll on her, and the evidence was clear on her face. The long days and short nights had made her bright eyes shine just a little duller; the fight with the Githyanki had also left her with a few new cuts and bruises. She was not the same person he had held a dagger to her throat all those days ago, nor was Astarion the same person that he was when he met her.

“I do love art.” Y/N said, bringing Astarion back to reality. “I also love exploring new methods and stroke styles of the brush to see what effects it has with the paint. I’d honestly love to give painting you an attempt. If I hate it, then we shall invest in some gold for you to have a portrait done.” Astarion could see the genuine enthusiasm on his companion’s face, and he felt sick to his stomach. How could it be that a woman whom he was bedding for solely protection be so caring for him?

That’s right, Astarion thought, she has no idea that was my sole intention. But as the pale elf engraved the look of admiration on Y/N’s face and the gratefulness of such a sweet gesture somewhere deep in his mind, he felt guilty. He certainly didn’t deserve her kindness.

“Perhaps I may hold you up to that statement, darling.” The sincere words left his mouth. He wasn’t afraid to admit that he would love to have a painting of himself so he can see just how much 200 years of Cazador has affected his appearance. She gave him a heartwarming smile, but it faltered a bit as she looked over his face. 

“Why do you look like you’re guilty of something?” Her words made him frown slightly more than he had been previously. 

“Guilty? My darling the only thing I’m guilty of is looking too damn fine for you to capture on paper.” He casually said, but the pang of guilt still hung heavy on his chest. Astarion gave her his signature smile as he asked her if he could keep the picture she drew of him. She gave him a beautiful smile in response. 

“Absolutely. If I want to have a keepsake of you, I’ll just draw another one,” She gave him a wink, and Astarion chuckled. “I know it’s not as good as a mirror, but at least now you can see what your face kind of looks like.” 

“It does give me a good idea.” Astarion folded the paper and put it in his pocket, but he really didn’t want to fold the picture. He didn’t want to admit to Y/N how much her effort to give him a visual of himself touched his heart. He didn’t deserve this, but she is so selfless and willing to give him everything: her time, her art, her body, and her blood. “I shall see you later, my darling, for my nightly taste?” She gave him a small nod. 

“Unless you’d rather have some now?” Astarion smirked at her.

“Why not both?” He asked and she chuckled. “Kidding. But, I will take my taste now.” After he drank from her, he bid her good night. As he went to leave her tent, he turned back and looked at her.

“Thank you, again, Y/N. You continue to surprise me.” Afterward, he left her tent to go hunt for a delicious meal.

But that night, as Astarion lay in his bedroll, he took the picture out again to study it. He could see evidence of where Y/N had erased and redrew the top of his hair many times, and he could see she also struggled to get his lips just right. Moisture accumulated and fell from the corners of his eyes and onto the empty space around his portrait. Y/N was no professional artist, but she had attempted to sketch his portrait. She could’ve hidden it away too, kept it to herself until she perfected the very features she wanted to get right, but here her picture sits in his hands—fresh and far from the perfect picture. The pale elf wiped the water droplets off of the paper as he allowed himself to smile. Two hundred years of pain and torture, and this woman’s work over the last three days has sent an electric shock into Astarion’s chest; a shock that just might be enough to restart his heart. However, now that Astarion knew of his tasty friend’s talents, perhaps he could get her to draw more of him? The scars on his back had begun to weigh heavily on his mind since the night Y/N and Astarion shared. Maybe she would be willing to put on paper what secrets the scars on his back hold? But, for now, Astarion refolds the paper and puts it in the inside pocket of his backpack. He wouldn’t want anything to happen to the picture.