#and she’s just been really passive aggressive about it and accusing me of stealing my dads time away from my sisters

[abby420]

there is no greater alliance than an eldest daughter and her mom

[planetsano]

one last thing! then I won’t be talking about this anymore! 🩷

in regards to user @/startitties

“the mods talked behind my back.” yes. someone contacted a mod about how she felt because she was uncomfortable. the mods then had a staff meeting about the correct steps to take the relayed the information to me, to which I then asked you about.

if you’re upset about that, then I genuinely don’t know what to tell you because we have a system set to handle situations like this. its a very normal way to handle it. i’ve been running servers for a while now and I learned through trial and error.

if you’re saying that you wanted to be included in a mod’s conversation about a complaint they received about you, but you’re also saying you feel.. “ganged up” on when I spoke to you privately one on one. let’s be serious.. that wouldn’t have gone over well with you at all.

the screenshots are there. I approached you with respect and I was very polite and professional to you. I gave you a chance to say what you were feeling, you said everything was fine but it in fact, was not fine. people cannot read your mind. if you pose as though you’re fine.. everyone is going to think you’re okay if you don’t speak up. sub posting and being passive aggressive is a shady way to move no matter how you look at it. and unfortunately, a member was made uncomfortable and spoke to a mod about what to do.

this is feeling like a.. “you can’t be uncomfortable with me because i was uncomfortable with you first!” kind of situation and it doesn’t work like that. i’m also not invalidating anyone’s feelings, I was completely open to hearing what was going on with you but you weren’t trying to understand or hear anything from me because you immediately put yourself in a victim’s role.

i understand not being comfortable with confrontation because i’m personally not, however, if a mod comes to you asking about a situation, its not blaming you or pointing fingers. you didn’t communicate anything to us and it blew up way out of proportion. yes? it’s trivial because it could have been solved through communication. we all have attachments to our themes because for a lot of us it’s our online persona.

you say you were “perfectly content” but you take to tumblr to blow a situation up, lie and spread a completely false narrative. you were “perfectly content” but you said there were “bad vibes” in a friendly atmosphere to which all active members can a test to because we really cut up the that vc channel. i’ll attach just a couple of everyone’s interactions with you.

going on tumblr and outright lying and spinning a very false narrative in your comments/to your followers is not how you handle situations, and unfortunately, that’s what happened on Stella’s behalf.

to blow up all this drama over the glitter divider and the pink spinning heart gif that everyone has or has used on their blog at one point seems really... immature, I’m sorry. We all love ours themes and we all work extremely hard on them but for all this to drag two, almost three months is wild.

to go online make these outrageous claims like calling us ableists for approaching you about the situation in a very respectful manner isn’t okay. Especially when half the mod team suffer from their own mental illnesses and the other half are neurodivergent themselves.

to make disgusting implications behind us “not doing ID checks” (when the mods and I do research on a blog to determine if they really are said age) when you’re in your twenties and you’re okay with interacting with and allowing 15/16 year olds on a nsfw blog you run is nuts.

this isn’t her first offense with accusing others of stealing from her— it just seems like a pattern. If you dig through, she’s made multiple accounts and the same set of issues have been following her.

the victim complex is ultimately what’s making this situation with me speaking to you as an admin and doing my role, the issue.

i’m not an enforcer, i’m an informer. you left on your accord and i’m happy you did yourself that favor.

UPDATE 10/18/23 — we all know you’ve been sending hate messages and threats to our inboxes. please stop.

good luck.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi, this is the recent anon with the racist, sexist etc mom.

Tw emotional abuse, suicidal ideation

I need some tips: not only me but also my partner are living with my mom at the moment and my partner can bear my mom much worse than I do. He's always soo close to replying to her racism etc or, for example, we decide to cook something and she will be inspired to cook too (at the same time) and just take our pots with boiling water and put her stuff in etc. My partner is very sensitive with that because he loves cooking, his parents are cooks as a job. And while I have.... Repressed all emotions, when I am around her, and just leave the pots to her and cook a bit later, he always gets very angry (understandable but not helpful). We usually cook separately because my mom usually eats meat with meat and occasionally a bit rice at the side, and we are vegans.

And my moms racist talk.. That's harder for me to bear than the usual bs she talks, but he sometimes has to leave the room so he won't say anything. And I am very afraid this won't work out much longer.

And my mom seems to be pissed of him too. I mean, she's generally more pissed since her diagnosis etc understandable but tbh I can't feel any sympathy for her and can't bear her much. I have one of my recurring (and re-leaving so don't worry, I don't worry either) suicidal phases so yeah. Idk which breeded which but I try to be away from her as much as possible.

She's been more abusive again. It became less as I grew older (and knew and followed the rules) and when my partner moved it, it almost stopped (don't embarrass yourself in front of strangers, right?). But it started again. Don't need to get into details, it isn't as verbal as before but very passive aggressive. She's also very restless so she always finds a reason to be mad at me.

She always asks me stuff about my partner or tells me something I shall tell him. Like, last weekend he was cooking for us and she was behind him with her cooking stuff (ready to steal his pots) and he wanted to clean the hotplate but since she was behind him, he just brushed the dirt into his hand and threw it away. And on monday, my mom gave me her most aggressive cleanser since "we obviously never clean the plate properly. She saw, how my partner did it so now she's disgusted" (since she can't imagine, this was an hurry-exception). Which is so hurtful because I clean the kitchen daily to give her less reasons to yell but ok.

Like, this is a sidestory but she always thinks shitty of me. I remember one random day, I came home from school, walked the dog (as usually), came home again and short time later, she came home from work and immediately yelled at me because she was certain, that I didn't walk the dog that afternoon. She had no reasons, nothing was different, she was... sensing it? Idk she has such days on which she accuses me randomly and wrongly. And it shows me that overall, she believes I am a bad person, who wouldn't do anything good or properly, if I wasn't watched.

And her... arrogant behavior. "Yeah, you'll now clean the kitchen properly! I already put the cleaner-bottle on the hotplate." ohh, too gracious. Try not to overwork yourself. It's also never a question but a command.

I am getting a bit drawn away but I feel like I need this.

And after I cleaned she told me, how wrongly my partner "cleans" the kitchen but "Oh, I just wasn't in the mood to argue, so I just thought, I'll tell you and you can tell him".

This really reminds me of the time after my parents seperated. They didn't talk but still wanted to insult one another so I had to deliver the messages "Mom said, you should pay child support!" "Dad said you should get a fucking job" etc. And I hated it as a kid and refused at some point but... Me and my partner need this home atm. So I have to keep the peace. Which is hard work.

She is also always so... into things that aren't hers. My partner has skin issues and got a creme from his doctor recently to use after shower and he forgot it the first time. And my mom saw the still closed bottle and was like "Didn't he use the creme yesterday, after he showered? Oh he's so unreliable!!" or, he needed to talk to his doc so he wrote him an email but got a number wrong from his medical insurance id and the doc said, "sorry, there's something wrong and I can't help you until you give me the right number". And my mom somehow knew about the doc issue (it was a sole bureaucratic issue, no health thing, nothing urgent) and randomly one day said "what did the doc say?" and I didn't think quick enough so I made the mistake to be honest and said "He got a number mixed up and needed to write to the doc again". And my mom was sighing so loud, for like 5 minutes straight, how my partner can't do anything right. It's not your problem!! It's actually nobodies problem since it is no problem!!

So yeah, situation is... tense. And I fear it won't calm down easily. And.. it kinda is my job to hold the peace? Like, my partner doesn't has the capability and experience I have with my mom and I don't want him to have to do this. And my mom doesn't have the emotional maturity and self reflection. And me... atm has no energy and a deathwish so... Yeah.

No seriously, how can I calm everyone down? All those situations, those teensy things that destroy the peace, happen daily. There is no day without it. I tried to calm it down by doing everything perfectly and being there for my mom (also as a conversation partner) whenever she needed one. But.. omg I can't bear her existence at the moment so... I am so afraid it will explode. My partner just has to make one comment about her racist behavior or that she should stop stealing his pots and she would kick us out.

I really need tips to keep the peace until we find an appartment. And maybe tips to overcome myself and spent more time with her.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry you've been dealing with this. You don't deserve to put up with this.

It can be very difficult knowing how to handle being around an abusive person. Transparency and honest conversations would usually work, but these conversations typically go in one ear and out the other for abusers. But you may not exactly be able to simply ignore your abuser either, because they may demonize you for it and escalate things. Unfortunately there is no clear answer.

However, there is information about how to respond to things such as verbal abuse. Some of the main things are to maintain your boundaries such as how you are spoken to, remaining neutral in your tone and body language, walking away or leaving if needed, as well as looking into therapy, and maintaining contact with friends and family.

Ultimately please know that your mother's behavior is not your responsibility to quell. It's her own responsibility to behave herself and be mindful of how her behavior affects others, instead of putting the responsibility on you to tell her what's not okay.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[retvenkos]

“would it be terribly cheesy if i said ‘it was always you’?”

requested by @biqherosix STRAP IN, FOLKS, BECAUSE TODAY WE ARE TAKING A LOOK AT WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE FOR EJ CASWELL TO HAVE A CRUSH ON A NORTH HIGH STUDENT...

so first of all, you and ej knew each other long before you ran into each other in high school. because, you see, you went to junior high together, and in those days, both you and ej were on dance company 

(you can pry dance company! ej from my cold, dead fingers)

you were arguably the better dancer, and seventh grade ej really wanted to prove himself. a baby competition sprouted between the two of you, but it was nothing big.

you both liked to show off in order to taunt the other, and you both got a kick out of trying to one up each other.

but at the same time, you were teammates. you did everything together.

so the bond between you and ej was strong. it was a competition, yes, but it was friendly competition and you both actually hyped each other a lot. 

plus, dance company does a lot of things as a group, so it was unavoidable. you were going to end up liking each other at some point. luckily, it happened sooner rather than later, and the two of you built up a nice rapport with one another - a closeness forged in friendly competition and last minute studying parties.

but all that changed when you went to north high and ej went to east high

now, since north high is completely fictional, i get to create the dynamic between the schools, so listen up everyone!

north high clearly has the better arts department, and they also have the better tennis and softball team.

east high has the better stem department as well as a better swim team and any other swim related sports.

west high has the better sport teams overall - basketball, football, volleyball, etc.

(that's why we never see any uber jocks at east high—)

now, clearly you have your boundary school, but people get on special permit all the time, and when you say you’re going to north high ej is like ???? but why ???

“they have a better arts department, ej, you know that!”

“well, yeah, but east high is the best. we always said we were going to be wildcats!”

“ej.... they’re actually leopards.”

it wasn’t a super emotional goodbye. you promised to stay in touch, and it wasn’t like it was hard. you still saw each other around the mall, you still followed each other on instagram and what not but.... time just got between you.

you slowly stop texting, you see each other less, when you see each other in public you do that thing where you give a smile but then don’t go over to say hi, because you’re wrapped up in other people. it’s not pointed things, you just... stop talking.

and you still like each others photos on instagram but you’re just... there. 

all of that changes, however, when carlos asks you to help him choreograph hsm.

at the time, the rivalry between schools wasn’t big, it was just a low simmer, and the reason carlos approached you was because once upon a time, you, ej, and him had all been in dance company together for one (1) year (it all comes full cIRCLE) and for one of your performances, you had done something hsm related.

carlos wanted to know if you remembered the routine and could help him come up with something slightly more advanced.

and while you and carlos hadn’t really kept up with one another, he jokingly brought up a time where he did something for you, and how you always said you’d pay him back one day and maybe now it was time to cash it in??

you decided why not? you’ve done a lot of stuff for north high’s dance company, but you’ve never helped out in a musical before (and as you can imagine, north high is very competitive in their arts)

so you joined the hsm cast as co-choreographer.

now, because you had your own north high dance company stuff to deal with, you end up missing a lot of rehearsals. you mostly brainstorm with carlos and add tweaks to the choreo. carlos is the one to really ~teach~ things.

which means that while you are present for ~the drama~ that was ej-nini-ricky, you actually miss a lot of it. you feel the tension, but exactly why it’s Like That is beyond you.

you tried to ask carlos once but he said he wasn’t going to get into that, thank you.

and honestly, you have competitions to keep up with, so you’re not fixated on it. you’re just hoping that they’re not still pissed at each other on opening night, when ej has to strap ricky in for “getcha head in the game”

and while you’ve chatted with ej a couple of times, you haven’t had much time to catch up.

you actually bond a lot with gina, who is on the same level as you in terms of dance. you end up talking and mention how ej was once on dance company, and that rocks her world because ej???

and that’s when you show her all of the old videos you archived on your instagram from your junior high days. carlos, ej, and you all in dance company. they’re precious.

and when ej’s friendships are strained and he doesn’t have anyone to turn to, he sees you and gina laughing and crowding over your phone, and he comes to say hi.

and thus, the friendship begins again.

it is, of course, slow going because so much time has come between you, and gina and carlos (the two you hang with the most) are not on great terms with ej, but you guys grow really close all over again. ej is glad to have another senior to talk to about college, and you’re glad you have an old friend to talk to because it’s easy to feel out of place in this school that isn’t yours.

and on opening night, you know ej gifts you something - maybe it’s a jacket or beanie with the wildcats emblem on it.

“it’s kinda stupid, but we always said we were going to be wildcats together, and we did it.”

“huh, i guess we did.”

and for some reason, you chest is really warm, and you can feel the heat sneak up to your cheeks.

“this is really sweet, ej.”

“well, you know me.”

“yeah, i guess i do.”

and then it’s his cue to get ready to go on stage.

“oh! and there should be another surprise coming, don’t hate me for not telling you!”

and you’re ??? but it turns out to be gina.

you all clearly go to denny's afterward to celebrate, and if ej feels his heart seize in his chest everytime you laugh or steal one of gina’s fries, it’s not an unfamiliar feeling. because really, it had always been like that, with you. you never cease to amaze him.

and once you’re on the east high theatre group chat, you never get taken off of it, so you know everything that’s going on with your theatre buddies, after hsm has finished.

and this is where a conflict of interest really comes in...

because, you see, once hsm is a hit, some of the theatre kids at north high think you’re a traitor. you gave east high their secrets, and now east high is an actual contender. uncool, (y/n).

so you kind of get iced out by a lot of north high kids. like i said. competition there is  s t e e p  and you’ve been accused of fraternizing with the enemy..

but when zach roy shows up and he hears about the drama surrounding one (y/n) (l/n), he gets an idea... so he approaches you one day after dance company practice...

“he asked you to do wHAT?”

you’re texting ej, carlos, and gina in a group chat

“he asked me to co-choreograph their show.”

“are you going to do it?” - carlos

“of course they are! do you think opportunities like this just fall out of the sky?” - gina

“i don’t know, though, i feel like he’s working some angle with me. there’s something about him that doesn’t feel genuine.”

“it’s those piercing blue eyes.” - carlos

“i have piercing blue eyes!”

“and you’ve never done anything underhanded?” - gina

“we did that together!”

“what should i do?”

“accept, clearly!” - gina

“i’d be careful, if i were you. miss jenn doesn’t trust him for a reason.” - carlos

“it’s up to you, (y/n). you’ll do great, and it’s a great opportunity.”

“but?”

and everyone can feel the pause - the conflict where ej doesn’t know what to say.

“but nothing! this is a HUGE opportunity! he’s dancer extraordinaire derek hough zach roy! i’d be the villain of your eventual documentary if i were to try to hold you back.”

“okay... i think i’ll do it. you know how competitive things are, here. this could really give me a boost.”

“hell yeah, (y/n)!” - gina

“spy on their production for us?” - carlos

“anything for you <3″

i imagine you clash a lot with lily, but you actually become really good friends with howie and antoine. but that’s beside the point.

and while things are on good terms at first, your bond with your wildcats stays strong, and you’re carving out a place in north high rehearsals, lily is quick to find out that you’re on the east high group chat.

and because this is hsmtmts, i get to have some fun with this premise.

lily gets some kind of tech nerd on her side, and she gets him to make it so that somehow, the text that you get from the theatre group also send to her phone, for maximum stalking of the competition. that’s how she always gets one step ahead of east high.

and as north high seemingly continues to have insider info on east high, someone suspects there’s a leak.... which leads to you. who else has access to north high? so they send a fake text and wait to see if north high takes the bait.

they do. so now east high thinks it’s you.

but at this same time, you keep noticing that suspiciously, whenever you get a text from east high theatre department, lily’s phone goes off to. literally at the same moment, you’re doing your own test to see if somehow she hacked your phone.

(you had your suspicions because lily is actually terribly bad at hiding her hand and constantly makes remarks that make you Think™.)

you confirm lily to have hacked your phone, and so you go old school and show up to east high, hoping to tell them what happened and find some fix (since east high is the mother of all tech schools in this universe.)

but when you walk into the auditorium, the cast is being really passive aggressive toward you? and you’re so confused? what happened?

of course, ricky is the only to confront you because these days, it seems like he’s always one (1) moment away from blowing up.

and you explain that you were played just as much as they were - it was never your intention to betray them. east high is your family.

“oh, yeah? i’ve never known an east high leopard to go to north high.”

and so now we’re in shambles! we’re divided! 

you leave, upset, and ej catches you in the hall. he tries to explain that ricky’s been on one, recently, that none of his anger was really meant for you, and that he believes you - truly. he knows you’re the last person to ever betray them. you’re not like that. that’s more him than it is you.

and you just give him the world’s biggest  h u g .

now you’re probably wondering why i insisted on this particular plot line, but let me tell you - ej never really understood completely what a complete breach of trust it was for him to steak nini’s phone and violate her privacy like that. now he can see how deeply it affects you - how it can really ruin people in ways you never intend. it’s about the learning curve.

anyway, it takes you a while to build up trust with east high again, but you say “hey, why don’t you guys continue to send false leads to this group chat? make another for yourselves, and continue to spread misinformation to me.

ej is like... do you really want to sabotage your own show? but you tell him something along the lines of “our show is still going to have superior choreography, lily is just going to waste her time doing pointless side missions. it has nothing to do with the quality of my work.”

and ej loves this competitive and devious side of you so much. but he’s also deathly terrified of telling you how much he cares about you, because he always manages to screw things up.

and gina finds hilariously endearing because of all people to be self conscious... ej caswell? the ej caswell? she would be his hype woman if she wasn’t so busy finding this all too Good to be true.

eventually, lily will find out, but when she confronts you and threatens to tell the cast that you’re the reason they’re so behind in their production, you tell her that to do that, she’d have to confess to stealing your phone, hacking into it, and using it to spy on you which breaks like 23 different school rules. but sure! tell everyone! you’d love to see how the principal reacts when you film it and show it to them on monday.

(this is getting really long, let me see if i can wrap it up, quick)

clearly, ej is an Idiot when he’s in love, and even though he’s deathly afraid of telling you his feelings, that doesn’t stop him from expressing them.

both of you are in your respective musicals, and your rehearsal schedules align really nicely, so a lot of the time, ej will drive up to north high afterward so he can give you a ride home. (you don’t have a car, okay?) you guys always stop to get fast food or a drink at starbucks or something, and you have little “dates” where ej parks the car and the two of you eat in his car, just chatting about your day.

or on weekends, you and ej go and drive up to the state college that ej was admitted to, and you walk around campus, trying to envision him there. and if you’re also going to a school nearby, you do the same for you. (bonus points if you’re going to the same college, so you walk around and pick out the places where you’ll chill together.)

and if these little excursions of yours are the highlight of your week, and all you want to do is hold ej’s hand forever, singing in the car with the windows down and driving into the sunset... well, you just hope that ej wants the same.

and since ej is in av club, and he’s really trying to dig in and figure out what his story is, he’s always got a camera of some kind out, and some of his best work, he swears, are pictures and videos of you.

anyway, at some point, you confess to ej that you have a crush on him (howie probably pushed you to do it because he was tired of seeing you pine).

it’s a weekend and the two of you are procrastinating on your respective school assignments (study sessions being interrupted with senioritis? sounds about right) so instead you’re just sitting on the floor, staring at the ceiling, talking about whatever. and i think it just slips out, and when you realize what you’ve said, you’re vvv embarrassed, and you don’t even want to look at see how ej reacts, but he calls your name and you turn to him, a deadly mixture of dread and hope rooted in your stomach and shaking you to your core, but ej is smiling and in his eyes is something brighter than the sun, and when he tells you he’s feels the same, it’s like that dread in your stomach blooms into pure joy and when he tells you he’s had a crush on you since you were eighth graders and you were a better dancer than him, you can’t help but laugh until all of that warmth in your stomach has escaped into the air and hangs around the two of you like low hanging stars - so close, you can reach out and touch them.

anyway, cue lots of sneaking around north high - not because it’s a secret but because it’s fun hiding in the back of the auditorium and sneaking into the empty dance room.

cue cheering for each other at the menkies and congratulating each other when east high gets best musical, and north high gets best choreography (amongst others).

cue going to denny’s to celebrate and laughing until your sides hurt, stealing each other’s fries, and holding hands under the table.

(also... ej 100% would kiss your fingers when your hands are intertwined and that’s truly a blessing)

cue going to pool parties together for no other reason than i want all of the east high kids to do an impromptu rendition of “all for one” and ej gets to hit ricky with one of those blow up beach balls “for revenge” on the basketball moment in season 1.

plus, a pool party would do wonders for destressing, don’t lie.

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

taglist: @maybanksslut, @theletterhart, @brokenandheadoverheels, @neelia-thedaughtherof-athena @kitsdeadwife, @amortensie // add yourself to the taglist here!

[amberwild420]

one step back, two steps forward (pt. 5)

masterlist

outed identity

The next day wasn’t any better than the other days. Kaylan walked through the hallways to the locker room. The irregular arrival time for school is the habit she picked up in the long run.

 Considering there would be no schedule to follow for planned accidents. But the best thing that comes with the habit is to accidentally eavesdropping people’s conversation.

(a/n: most people may not know that following a proper schedule can lead to many planned accidents that include framing someone up, kidnapping or stealing. and yes I’m speaking from experience. )

Like today.

 She was just getting her necessary things in the locker (despite having no security on it. But Kaylan put her customize lock that included special mechanism before it could open or the imposter will have a face full of flour. and that is one scary face).

 …….telling you she is dangerous.

 Raising an eyebrow, Kaylan quietly listen to what was being said. She had a vague idea but she still needed to confirm it.

 Oh like chat isn’t dangerous. With the power he has he can turn me into dust.

 Well she carry a knife!

 Apparently Adrien and Marinette were talking about her. But she doesn’t remember Adrien anywhere around her when she threatened certain people.

 Oh………………………

    Oh!

   OH!

She clasped a hand over her mouth when the realization hit her like ton of bricks.

 *******************************************************************************************

Marinette had a good start. It has been too long that she had taken down an akuma faster despite it being a strong one. If it wasn’t for Kaylan and her abilities plus her plans, she would have been a goner.

 Today she had a good night sleep and was up before her alarm. Even Tikki could feel the energy of her chosen.

  You are definitely looking good after a good night sleep, Marinette.

I didn’t know I needed that until I got it. Can’t say I regret sleeping early for once. Look Tikki! Guess we’ll be early to school once.

  What are you waiting for then, bug? Let’s go.

  With the encouragement, Marinette started getting ready. She got her bag, macron box for Kaylan (which was overdue anyway) and left for school. She hummed a tune of Jagged’s new album.

 She was having a good start of the day.

But that came to a screeching halt when she saw Adrien next to her locker.

 Why? Why, god, why?! Where had she gone wrong?!

 You see, from the day Adrien asked her to take the high road and preferred Lila’s feelings over her, her crush on him started dying. The day when she told her parents what he was telling her and how her left her alone to fend for herself after promising to have her back, she realized how obsessive she was and how toxic it was turning. So she took a step back and realized how much free time she had when she was not obsessing over Adrien.

The final nail in the coffin was right before when Kaylan came, he kept his disappointed gaze on her when she tried to defend herself after a huge accusation. It was lucky that Kaylan called out to the lies and can trash talk unlike her that she felt better.

 And here it was today, he was right in front of her locker apparently waiting for her. Steeling her nerves, she step forward catching his eye.

  Adrien.

 Marinette! Can we talk?

 Make it quick Adrien! I don’t have much time. I need to see Kaylan.

Well this is about Kaylan.

 Adrien if you are going to say how Kaylan should stay quiet and let Lila do whatever she want, let me tell you I do not control Kaylan. She has her own mind and she can think it. Unlike those people, Kaylan actually have my back and she actually gives me enough time to explain myself.

 Marinette that’s not what I was going to tell you.

 Raising an eyebrow, Marinette gave him a look that says ‘oh really’. But he ignored it. Like someone she knew.  (an: who do you think?)

  Look I think you should stay away from Kaylan, she isn’t what you think she is.

Oh! Then do tell who she is?

 Adrien opened his mouth but close it quickly. He was rather dumbfounded at her lack of panic. Normally Marinette would panic at such a news but now…….

  Marinette she is dangerous. She …….. I saw her threatening chat noir. Like really threaten him with a knife……

  so she threatened you? I’m rather glad she did, it was due any time now by ladybug and it would be revoking the miraculous you’re wearing.

Adrien you’re exaggerating. How is it possible that a civilian can threaten a miraculous hero?

Marinette….you-you don’t understand, she actually threaten him and even threw a knife at him. Don’t you understand I don’t want you to get hurt?

 You’re kidding right. If you didn’t wanted me to get hurt you would have had my back in all this….. Whatever is going on?

  Mari…….but Lila will get……

  Get what huh? Akumatized?! She will get akumatized if I tried to out her but what about me?! What will happen to me? Won’t I get akumatized because my friends are hurting me over some lies she is telling to my class!

You won’t get akumatized. You are our everyday ladybug. And beside her lies are not hurting anyone.

  THEY ARE HURTING ME!

  That’s not what we’re supposed to talk about. We are talking about Kaylan. I keep telling you she is dangerous.

  Oh! And like chat isn’t dangerous. With the power he has he can turn me to dust.

Well she carries a knife!

  Marinette sighed. Her mood was worsening with every minute. Even Tikki couldn’t keep her calm. Well how could she when she herself was seething with rage.

  How dare this incompetent cat to hurt her chosen again and again. In and out of the mask and asking her to let everyone walkover her. Unforgiveable!

You’re awfully protective of chat noir. Are you sure what he did was the right thing or did you just saw me threatening him and assumed the worst in me?

  Like some kind of a knight in a shining armor, Kaylan stepped forward and stood next to Marinette facing Adrien. While she was next to Marinette she made sure that the sweet girl next to her was slightly hidden behind her. Her awfully prominent presence was enough to keep the attention on herself. Adrien scoffed at the new girl.

 Don’t you know it is rude to eavesdropping on people when they are having a private conversation?

 And seems like you don’t know that badmouthing someone behind their back is also considered quite rude.

………….

  Oh my! No comeback! I thought we were pointing out all the rude things one has done to other.

  You stay away from Marinette. She doesn’t need you!

   Kaylan smirked viciously. Her eyes gleamed in amusement. This kid was daring to threaten her.

Oh! Like she would need you. You spineless coward.

  *smack*

 Marinette gasped when Kaylan grabbed Adrien’s fist. She knew that Adrien was passive but his aggressive behavior was rather shocking. It wasn’t like him anymore.

 This aggressive behavior, the forcing and putting the blame on her. This was going nowhere. Rather than just being a burden he was also hurting civilians. She need to get the cat miraculous back.

 And fast.

Her thoughts were spiraling with every possible scenario and worst outcome that she didn’t even notice when the conversation ended and when Kaylan pulled her away.

*******************************************************************************************

Kaylan caught the fist that model threw at her without even flinching. Though he looked skinny but he definitely had enhanced strength. That was definitely the result of the magic he used. But compared to her who is training endlessly both physically and magically, he was nothing.

  Easy now kitty……

  Her voice whispered. Her gleaming eyes looked like they cut through him. His breath was caught in his throat. He looked at the girl with wide eyes. She looked so serious right now. He step back and nearly fell on the floor but he scrambled and ran off.

Kaylan sighed and turned to Marinette. Her wide eyes and trembling figure was enough to let her know that she was going in shock. Hurriedly she pulled her to the girl’s bathroom before pulling her in hug and whispering how she was alright and she was there for her and encouraging her to not give up and rocking her back and forth.

 Her efforts worked. She sighed tiredly and melted in the hug. The door opened and in came the blonde.

 Chloe?

 Instead of saying anything she just gave a water bottle to the pair and left. Kaylan smiled and made sure they were ready to face the class.

Marinette was tired already. And class hasn’t even started. It seems like that all the luck is being sucked from her outside her mask.

 Well it could be true considering every akuma battle had been longer and brutal than the last. Defeating doctor plague was her luck and encountering Kaylan who helped her get out of tight situation was double luck but Kaylan actually possessing magic of her own and planning was definitely triple luck.

 She melted in the hug. Whatever chat or Adrien say about her. She is nice. Her hugs are also nice.

 Her thoughts scattered when she saw the figure that came through the door. The signature yellow jacket was something that she can never forget.

Chloe?

 Without saying anything, she just handed the water bottle and left.

 It’s almost time for the class. Freshen up so we can go.

 Some things will remain mysterious.

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taglist

@ravenclaw-questions-gone-writing

@captainmac6

@moonlightstar64

@miraculousvoltron

@aesthticnpoetic

@emmarosemary11

@marichat-forever-legend

@northernbluetongue

@nyx-in-line

@adalouise1987

@desygner

[nobodyfamousposts]

Welcome the Demon School, Marinette!

Because I’m bored and you’re here. Presenting a Miraculous take on Iruma-kun.

_____________________

It was shaping up to be the worst day of Marinette's life. 

She woke up late. Again.

This only happened because her alarm didn’t go off. Which was because said alarm was in her phone, and the battery had died. And she had no time to charge it.

The small lizard that she had been taking care of the past couple weeks had disappeared that morning with no sign of where it had gone. She was worried her parents may have found it or that it could have gotten lost somewhere. 

She got to school just on time, only to be tripped and have her belongings scattered across the floor (much to the snickers and commentary of certain observers who of course did nothing to help), forcing her to take time to collect them all and resulting in her actually being late to class.

Lila was regaling the class with some new and most likely completely made up story as everyone seemed to gather around her and stare at her in wonder like she had hung the stars (and given their gullibility, Marinette couldn't put it past them to not fall for that if Lila HAD claimed it). Marinette quietly shuffled past them and slipped into her seat in the back, feeling the weight of their cruel glares and mocking smirks. All in all, an indicator that Lila's takeover of the class and even the school was still in effect. The only thing that saved her from any biting or passive aggressive comment was the teacher starting the lesson.

Except then she learned that her homework had been one of the things to fall out of her bag, but one of the items she had failed to recollect afterwards. The fact that Lila presented a project that just "happened" to look exactly like hers and even had the name smudged out and replaced with her own clearly meant nothing as far as the teacher was concerned.

This resulted in a failing grade for Marinette, and any attempt that she made to argue were quickly shot down as Lila pretended to cry at the "horrible accusation" and the teacher proceeded to lecture Marinette in front of the class for trying to steal credit for another student's work. Marinette's evidence (which included pictures and video of herself making the project at multiple stages of the process, pointing out the smudged name, or her own scraped knees from when she fell earlier and the project went missing from her bag) meant nothing and was disregarded as the teacher forced Marinette to apologize for something she hadn't done before sending her off to the principal's office.

Which resulted in her being suspended for "continued bullying" and sent home to her no doubt ready to be disappointed parents, who seemed all too willing to believe the worst in their daughter based off a liar they barely knew. Not that Marinette was bitter about that or anything. (Lie. She totally was.)

She trudged home in dismay. And as she made the walk of shame from her school to her home, much to the snickers and cruel comments of her former friends, the upturned noses of her teachers who once believed in her, and Lila's own smirk at yet again getting another win over the poor girl, Marinette could only ask herself:

"Can my life get any worse?"

Which clearly turned out to be the exact wrong thing to say, because yes, in fact, it could.

As Marinette soon discovered when she was kidnapped by a demon.

"Wait—WHAT?!"

Introducing one Jagged Stone. A Demon Lord of the Demon Realm. Well known for his wild appearance and unusual style, even among demons. He was popular. He was eccentric.

And he was apparently Marinette’s new guardian as of today.

“Wait, wait! I’m sorry—WHAT?!”

“Just call me Dad. Or Uncle Jagged! Oo, I like the sound of that. Uncle Jagged! Yeah, call me that!” He told her, not really seeming concerned with why she would have reservations about this entire thing, how sudden it was, or the fact that she was a human who was not only being faced with the prospect that demons exist, but that one had officially claimed her as a ward.

“No wait, can we back up to the part where I’m adopted now?” Marinette questioned, confused and frustrated and just shy of freaking out.

“I thought that was rather clear.” Jagged stated, grinning widely and outright spinning with glee. “I’ve always wanted a kid! And now I have one! Thank you, Fang!” He turned to the crocodile-looking creature hovering nearby.

“Of course.” It replied—and okay, the thing could talk.

Jagged stared at it teary-eyed before hugging it—him? “You’re the best familiar, Fang. Finding me the perfect child to spoil and eventually become my heir.”

O…kay…

“But…I have parents?” She tried to interject weakly, still confused about all of this.

“Oh, we’ve taken care of that.” Jagged explained vaguely, waving it off.

Marinette’s eye twitched. “Meaning…?”

Please don’t say they’re dead. Please don’t say they’re dead. They may not have trusted her and she may be unhappy that they believed Lila over her, but she didn’t want them hurt. His other demonic assistant, apparently named Penny, answered. “You are now officially the ward of Jagged Stone.”

“Isn’t it great?” Jagged grinned.

Well, that was…not completely horrible, at least.

Still, it begged a question.

“I’m a ward of a demon? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?”

“Well, if you remember…” Fang started.

Marinette sighed pitifully as she stared out a window.

“Oh, how my life is horrible and filled with pain and sadness! If only there was a magical demon familiar to rescue me and take me somewhere rock and roll.”

With a poof, a much bigger and scarier looking Fang appeared and grinned down at her.

“How fortunate for you, for I happen to be a magical demon familiar!”

“Le gasp!” Marinette exclaimed in shock.

“And as I am very grateful to you for taking care of me, I shall happily take you with me to a better place and destroy your enemies. Not necessarily in that order.”

Marinette clapped gleefully.

“Yay! Do that! Blow up that evil institute of learning and fry everyone inside! And then eat my parents because they're jerks who tried to smack you with a broom and flush you down a sewer drain.”

Fang smirked.

“Certainly!”

And thus Fang flew off to destroy the school and devour everyone inside—

“Okay, I’m pretty sure that’s not how it happened.” Marinette exclaimed dryly, interrupting the amusing and clearly wish-fulfilling fantasy.

“Well, it could.” Fang replied. “If you want me to, I can.”

“NO THANK YOU.” She exclaimed with a shriek before getting her emotions under control. “Just…why? Why me?”

The demonic crocodile-like familiar floated in a circle around her. “Well, it made sense. Jagged wished for a child to become his heir. You wished for an escape from your life. And you were quite helpful to me when I had been injured, proving yourself to be a human of kindness and honor. If anyone was to be worthy of being taken in as my master’s fledgling, you seemed most deserving.”

Well, that made her blush.

Wait…

“The lizard that I’d been caring for? That was you?”

Fang smiled and nodded.

Jagged rested a hand on the creature’s head and smiled at Marinette. “I have to thank you for looking out for my little Fangy. Who knows what could have happened to him all alone in the human world. Isn’t that right?” He spoke to Fang directly in a rather baby-ish voice as he nuzzled the creature.

Fang nuzzled Jagged back. And…okay, this was kind of cute—crazy situation aside.

“I’m…honored.” Because she was, strangely enough. Craziness and kidnapping aside. “But I already have parents. And a life.”

“Not a good one.” Fang growled out in irritation.

Jagged nodded solemnly. “Right. Fang told me all about it. Your school sucks. Your classmates suck. Your parents…” Seeing her unhappy expression, he coughed. “Well, they’re taking a liar’s word over yours. All in all, it’s been incredibly un-rock and roll. You definitely deserve better.”

“Well…” She trailed off because yeah, they weren’t wrong.

The demon smiled. “Which is why we’ve erased their memories.”

“WHAT?”

“This way, no one will question your disappearance!”

“WHAT?!”

“So this way you can stay here without having to worry about anyone trying to find you! Isn’t it great?”

…

“WHAT?!”

______________

Things that would follow may include but are in no way limited to:

Demon Miracuclass. (Meaning Alya, Nino, all of them are demons in the demon world Marinette will be befriending and not Marinette’s former human friends whom shall remain nameless extras).

Otaku Adrien (aka: a secret human fanboy because of course he would be).

Flower demon Rose.

Mermaid Juleka.

Siren Luka.

Kwamis as teachers.

Plagg as Fluff Fluff. And abusing it to get out of work. (Tikki: DAMMIT PLAGG!)

Gabriel still being horrible.

Lila exiting the story after chapter 1.

And more!

[realwizardshit]

today i found out (from a source i dont have access to myself so i had to ask for help with it) the final bit of information regarding the Great Surface Heist of 2021. without further ado, a sequence of events (names are changed to protect the innocent aka me):

in January, i set up a brand new surface pro for Summer B. in Department A as part of a ticket

i finish setting it up and ask Summer B to pick it up, at around 2pm on Jan 25th

unbeknownst to me, my boss Bob had a different ticket to work on a user’s Macbook that had malfunctioned

that user’s name is Summer F, in Department B

Bob finished working on Summer F’s macbook and asked her to pick it up

Summer F manifests in the office to pick up her Macbook, at around 2:30pm on Jan 25th

some stupid, stupid wires get crossed at this juncture. i had stepped out, so i did not handle the pickup process like i usually do when i’m in.

Summer F, clown #1 and the technician who let her in, clown #2, see the box with a pickup sheet that says “Summer B” that I handwrote, and think, this must be for me, Summer F.

Summer F picks up the Surface, does NOT sign the pickup sheet attached to it, presumably taking it with her as well, and does NOT pick up her recently serviced Macbook

i come back minutes later, see that the Surface is gone, assume Summer B snuck in and picked it up, and close the ticket, notifying her that it’s closed.

weeks pass. i hear nothing. Summer F has taken the Surface home and logged into it briefly in mid March. she either does not notice the fact that her Macbook has transformed into a Microsoft(tm) Surface Pro, or she stays silent on purpose

in late March, Summer B, who is at this point clown #3, tells me that she waited until just now to pick up her Surface, and that it’s gone.

i reply, that’ll be easy, i’ll just find the pickup sheet and see who did get it.

the pickup sheet is gone because Summer F, clown, banished it out of existence. at this point i realize i need help and bring in our inventory person and my bosses

the Surface does not appear on our deployment software/server because it hasn’t been on the campus network long enough, because Summer F, clown, took it home.

because it’s been two fucking months since the heist happened, my search for clown #2 goes nowhere because nobody remembers what they did or who they let in

in my search for the missing pickup sheet, I notice that Karen from Department A picked up several other Surfaces around the same time in January, so I email her asking if she might’ve accidentally taken an extra one

Karen, clown #4, does not respond, instead goes to her manager, Debra, clown #5. Debra, in passive aggressive email language, roasts me for daring to accuse Karen of STEALING a computer and that IT absolutely has it. i crumple and say sorry because i am just a grunt

i start to panic, worrying that Department A thinks i stole the Surface. i can’t really prove that i didn’t take it myself

Debra asks again today (April 7) where the Surface is. i don’t have anything, so i forward it to Bob, who forwards it to the entirety of Desktop plus big boss Sarah.

the other desktop techs, having nothing better to do, check the admin consoles i can’t access, and find a log of Summer F’s login, at home (how can we tell? the IP address) in March

at this point i find out about the Other Ticket involving the macbook, so out of curiosity i go check the pickup table. the macbook is still there, gathering dust. it has Summer F’s name on it.

Sarah starts an impromptu teams call with me and the other techs and asks me, underpaid, exhausted student, to contact Summer F to get her to bring the Surface back so we can pass it on to Summer B

i say no thank you ma’am because i do not want Summer F to tell HER manager to yell at me, and all the techs around agree that this is a manager problem and beyond my pay grade

Bob and Sarah eventually negotiate the exchange of computers and i drive home absolutely fucking irate

anyway i’m completely mentally exhausted i just want to nap and eat oats and nap some more

[vegetalass]

hcs of the gang being quarantined in one big house together maybe?? 🥺 lub ur writing

i lub u, anon!!🥺 sorry this took forever!

General 

Oh my godddddddddd

They had to stop doing movie nights because there was too much fighting 

They tried to set it up such that everyone got a turn to pick a movie but there were still complaints

Now, movies are viewed at random and the policy is that 

1. The TV is first come first serve

2. You have to announce when you’re using it

3. Anyone is allowed to join you 

This has stemmed into multiple people shouting “IM WATCHING _____” at random times

And yes, people will try to hide the remote (mostly Sean)

If they can find it, that is

The lines between public and private property have been blurred. Everything must be labeled or there is a chance someone will take it 

You can risk it, but it’s not recommended since they’re all dudes and will most likely eat anything 

And even with your name on a box of graham crackers, there’s still a chance someone will stick their hand it in and steal a few

All the dudes walk around in their Long Johns like it’s not awkward

They have to do their own laundry so everyone is missing socks

Or they have extras

And wet laundry is constantly being left on the ground if it’s unattended and someone needs the washer 

Arthur

This dude double dips 

He licks the spoon and puts it back in, too 

Gets yelled at a lot for this, but never remembers to stop

Everybody is afraid to touch all of the dips now because of this 

And Hosea has to start buying separate ones just for Arthur

He’s the one who takes 3 hour baths 

I imagine that there’s multiple bathrooms in the house but not enough for everyone so there are definitely times when people are like “WTF, Arthur you’re still in there?” or “Where’s Arthur?” 

Usually it’s Charles or John because they don’t mind sharing a bathroom with each other 

Cue Arthur having accidentally fallen asleep in the tub 

But yea he’s just chilling in there, otherwise

Started the quarantine off by trying to fix up the house… But immediately got lazy

There’s probably a number of things he keeps saying that he’ll “get to, eventually”

The only reason Dutch hasn’t called someone is because it’s a PANDEMIC

Technologically challenged 

Barely knows how to turn on the TV and still uses an iPhone 5 that has pretty much stopped working

John has given up trying to explain how to make things fullscreen on YouTube

Because of this, probably spends most of his time wandering around the yard and reading or journaling

Tilly even bought him some scrapbooking supplies, which he’s been trying to use 

Little washi tapes and highlighters because she knows it can’t get too complicated too fast 

She also makes him an Instagram account so he can take photos or post art

But figuring out how it works is a losing battle, and he never remembers to use it, anyway 

“I think we should get a pet” 

Everyone: “Arthur... Do we look like we take care of ourselves? 

If anyone tries to talk about how annoying the quarantine is, starts ranting about people who refuse to take it seriously

And the conversation ends up spiraling into him blaming capitalism for everything

John 

Every other meal he eats is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or Doritos

He does that thing where he wraps a bowl or plate in plastic wrap so he doesn’t have to wash it 

Doesn’t clean up after himself

Leaves used tissues, slimy butter knives with PB on them, and crusty socks laying around 

Unluckiest of them all 

His snacks get taken the most, the bathroom is always occupied when he needs it, never gets to use the TV, his laundry is always moved, etc. 

Always ends up using the bathroom when there’s no toilet paper

Texts Arthur for help and then makes an announcement in the group chat about “common courtesy” 

Nobody replies

His texts are full of messages to Abigail that all say the same thing

“Help.” + “Please come get me” + “I hate it here”

They’re all left on read except for the occasional response asking if he needs anything from Target

The list he sends back is like four paragraphs long and it’s all dumb stuff 

He’s like “FaceTime me when you get there, I wanna go shopping too”

Doesn’t even really want to leave the house for necessities, so he has to do stuff like water down his soaps or steal other people’s toiletries just to prolong how often he needs to go shopping for himself

He’s the one using Irish Spring from the dollar store mixed with water or a block of orange Dial soap that hasn’t been touched in five years 

Charles tries to throw away an empty hand soap and John is like “THERE’S STILL SOAP IN THERE LOOK” *mixes water with it* 

Steals razors and Shampoo 

Thinks conditioner is “unnecessary” and “doesn’t do anything” 

Complains about being bored but doesn’t bother to do the things people that people offer

Charles 

Voluntarily becomes a recluse 

Not because he wants to but because everyone else is too annoying to deal with 

He’s forced to start using the internet and when he’s not on the computer he’s trying to block out the noise of the 8 other men he lives with just living 

Going on walks is his other hobby

Also probably buys one of those adult coloring books to color

Like Athur, Charles hogs the bathroom 

It’s not as bad as Arthur since he’s not in the tub for the whole time but he really will spend an hour getting ready in the morning for absolutely no reason 

If anyone asks about it he just tells them that since they’re in quarantine there’s no reason to rush 

But he does get yelled at if there’s no other bathrooms available 

Becomes a self-care connoisseur 

Walks around in a bathrobe and face mask just to try and achieve some sort of zen 

Literally the only one who doesn’t walk around half naked

Besides Hosea, the one of the only guys who tries to wake up on time and eat three healthy meals a day 

The house is entirely dark and he’s eating toast while Hosea makes coffee 

It’s awkward, not because they’re weird about each other but because no one else is awake and it’s quiet for once 

Dutch is the third person up and Charles leaves the kitchen by the time he’s around 

Gave up trying to do the dishes and only cleans what he uses

Sometimes if he feels like being nice he’ll do Arthur’s dishes, too 

But only if he gets something back in return, like Arthur doing his laundry or something

The only one who changes his bedsheets on the regular

Him and Kieran are the only ones trusted by Hosea to leave the house safely 

Micah 

Everyone is surprised Micah isn’t dead yet

Everyone is constantly fed up with him for something or for just being irritating 

And try to ignore him for the most part, which is hard

Tries to defends himself with “Well, you don’t have to bother me if you don’t want to” 

Doesn’t clean up after himself, either

John leaves more mess, but Micah does worse stuff 

While John just leaves his dirty peanut butter knives around, Micah does stuff like forget to put the mayo back in the fridge, leave the bread bag out and open, forgets to bring his used dishes to the dishwasher, throws his trash in other people’s trash cans, leaves his wet laundry in the dryer, etc. 

If it’s annoying and gross, he does it 

And tries to eat food that other people have made for themselves or don’t want to share with him 

Dutch is the only one who shares with him willingly

Does not pick up his hair from the bottom of the shower

And doesn’t clean the sink after he shaves

Honestly, I doubt any of the drains in the house work properly because so much shaving goes on 

It’s honestly surprising to everyone that he takes the quarantine seriously 

Accuses people of being sick even though all of them have barely left the house… 

Wears a mask inside when he’s feeling salty 

He doesn’t even care about the mask, it’s just to make people feel gross and bad about themselves

Besides Sean, he’s always trying to hog the TV

And everything he watches is annoying, pretentious, or both

Complains about there being “nothing to watch” despite always having something on and refusing to stop

Tries to smoke inside and literally always get busted for it

Even if other people are doing it too, he’s the one who doesn’t even bother to be by a window when he does it

His room is always off limits 

If you need something from him you need to knock and wait in the doorway

Also does the “You’re too close… Step back, please” thing

And if anyone gets mad, says it’s a pandemic and he’s just trying to be SAFE

Mostly does this to feel powerful

Turns in to Uncle Jr. with all the complaining and berating he does

Uncle is honestly offended

Hosea

The only person allowed to do the shopping 

He gave up trying to give people lists because the groceries they came back with were never right 

Either too few, too many, not the right stuff... You name it 

See here for more

That’s why, despite being the oldest, he’s the one who goes grocery shopping for meals twice a week 

Refuses to buy alcohol because of incidents that they’ve had

Can’t stop people from sneaking it, though

Similar to Dutch in that he gets annoyed when people oversleep, but because its quarantine, he tries to not mention it, and at the worst, gets passive aggressive 

Tries to make a chore chart for people to follow but it gets ignored

He ends up having to force people to do things by reminding them constantly 

He’s the one who starts opening people’s doors in the morning and turning on the lights

Makes everybody start eating on paper plates with plastic silverware because he’s tired of trying to make people use the dishwasher 

Arthur doesn’t know how, John doesn’t put his plates in the right place, Charles refuses to since no one else contributes to keeping it neat, Micah doesn’t even know they have one, Kieran also can’t fill it correctly... 

Basically, it’s too much for Hosea to handle 

His dinners are all Costco pre-made meals that can be made quickly 

Frozen lasagna and prepackaged salad type stuff 

He’s the guy who falls asleep on the couch sitting up while watching TV and if you try to talk to him he says “I’m awake” without opening his eyes

And if he’s using it, don’t even think about suggesting to change the channel 

The answer is and always will be no

Even when he’s not really paying attention

And it’s either on the History Channel or Discovery Channel

Always complaining about how cold his feet are

Doesn’t let anyone touch the thermostat

He’s an in real life Elf on the Shelf

Dutch 

If anyone, and I mean anyone starts sleeping in, he gets in a really pissy mood 

“While I’m up, doing work for you, you’re sitting in bed being lazy!!!” and “What do you mean you don’t understand why! Why should I have to tell you why wasting the day is annoying to all those who are working!” 

Even despite this, he can’t actually change the fact that no one wakes up on time

And it’s not like the work he’s doing for them is very important

He’s the one who thinks that a pandemic is the perfect time to be or do something useful

Eat healthy, write a book, pump iron… Anything

And when people complain about being useless he’s like “You have all this free time!!!1! Stop complaining!!! You can do anything!!!” 

And if he’s doing something he considers useful, yells at people who try to bother him 

Arthur: “Hosea wanted to know-”

Dutch: *doing sit ups* “CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY?” 

When it’s his turn to cook dinner, he’s making 8 boxes of Trader Joe’s mac and cheese in a huge pot and calling a meal

Literally the only meal no one complains about 

He won’t clean the pot when it’s finished, though

Literally just cooks and leaves it out for someone else to deal with

Another self-care aficionado 

Also walks around in a bathrobe and face mask 

He’s worse than Charles though, because while Charles wears pants... Dutch will be booty ass naked under his 

Also keeps trying to make homemade masks and scrubs and walks around in those, too 

He’s like “This is a good one, I can tell already” 

Everyone: “Dutch... is that... mayo... in your hair?”

Annoyingly good at monopoly

Does not invite Molly over and gets yelled at over FaceTime

Cue everyone eavesdropping on their arguments

Goes on power walks

Yells at people when they listen to loud music with swear words 

Honestly, always yelling at people

“Can somebody get me my slippers? Arthur? John? Hosea? AnYoNe!!!”

Kieran 

Spends the least time in the bathroom because he’s afraid of getting yelled at 

Does everything in five minute increments 

Except for showers, when he allows himself ten minutes

Barely 

Most of what he eats is just microwave popcorn and shredded cheese

He’s the one asking people if they want to go on “family walks” with him

Literally no one joins him 

Also tries to play board games with everyone

This goes a little better at least because Hosea will sometimes play and if he’s there, a few people will definitely join 

Very bad at monopoly

The most conscious about wearing a mask 

The others wear them but Kieran is the one who wears double masks, gloves, and carries around Febreeze 

Also will get mad if anyone forgets their “safety equipment” 

Or if they’re within six feet of him in public

Props to him though for staying healthy 

I’ve mentioned this before, but... Spends most of his time playing games on a big tablet wearing headphones

Candy Crush and FarmVille and Words with Friends and stuff like that

Though all of his internet friends are weird old ladies he doesn’t know 

Everyone is mad at him for sending non-stop game notifications, too

Hosea is the only one who responds to any of them 

He’ll never admit this, though

Also tries to start doing arts and crafts 

Mary-Beth started telling him about the various crafts she’s been doing, so he’s started trying to follow along, too 

Things like crocheting or popsicle stick art 

His stuff all looks bad, but he’s just happy to be doing it

And to be FaceTiming Mary-Beth

When he gets to choose a movie, he’s picking a “family-friendly” movie like Inside Out or Lilo and Stitch 

Everyone starts out being mad but they all end up watching the whole thing without complaining 

Heated debates ensue, too 

For example, like about whether Flynn should’ve cut Repunzel’s hair in Tangled 

“YOU’RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I’M WRONG?” 

Charles + Arthur vs. Dutch + Bill

Makes meatloaf or Hamburger Helper like once a week

They’re basically the only thing he knows how to make 

Sides with Arthur when he suggests getting a pet

Wears a Snuggie 

Doesn’t change his socks 

Javier

Plays his own music very loudly and won’t turn it off or down if you ask 

Either that or he’s practicing guitar 

It’s not really that bad but when you can’t escape it.... People get mad 

The only saving grace is that the singing is usually in Spanish so it’s not as bothersome

The door to his room is always closed

Refuses to open it

To talk to him, you have to knock and then he’ll exit

Dutch is the only one allowed in and he thinks Javier’s rules about entering are creepy so never does it

Javier cooks his own food and won’t share

Only makes enough for exactly one person so even if he wanted to, there’s not enough

Eats dinner in his room to prevent people from bothering him or asking for some

However, he has the biggest stash of quarantine snacks… 

No one knows where he gets them

And getting him to share is like trying to do a drug deal, but he’s not against it as long as he gets something in return 

He didn’t personally cook all these snacks so the rules are different 

His room is full of scented candles to make it smell better since the whole house kinda smells like Boy 

Buys a gamer chair at the start of quarantine 

Claims it’s more comfortable than the office chair that Dutch and Hosea chose for everyone

Everyone is jealous

Wears fuzzy pajama pants only 

Sean

Sean is the one sleeping in

Never sleeps in his bed and just falls asleep wherever, basically

Usually the couch

Because he’s always snoozing, he’s the one who watches the most TV

Micah claims this isn’t “fair,” despite doing the same thing

And even if he’s not watching TV, he’s just using the couch to watch Tik Toks full volume 

Tries to make his own Tik Toks, but they either stink or no one wants to participate

Constantly having people get mad at him for recording them 

Stopped wearing clothes the moment quarantine started

Always in a tank top and his underpants 

It’s kinda weird 

People cared at first but by now they can’t be bothered to complain since they’re 

1. Used to it 

2. Probably start doing the same thing

Leaves his laundry laying around

Also won’t share anything he’s eating 

Gets mad when people steal food

Doesn’t address anyone in particular though, just walks around yelling about how “nobody has the common decency not to steal” 

Has food delivered almost every other day 

No one knows where he’s getting the money from, either

Everyone think it’s a waste

Mostly because he doesn’t share, but also because all hell broke loose when Hosea found out about an expense called “delivery fees” 

Also has a stick up his ass about wasting food 

Started yelling about this randomly, too 

If he can’t force someone else to finish leftovers, he forces himself to finish them 

Probably gets caught watching a certain type of nasty video a lot

Lowkey it probably happens to everybody at least once

Yells at anti-maskers 

Tries to wrestle the other boys and gets his ass handed to him

Bill

Possessive of everything 

Usually he’s not this bad but being cooped up with a bunch of thieves and liars doesn’t make him confident that his Circus Animal cookies will last very long 

Doesn’t share anything and very adamant about making sure there’s labels on things so nothing gets mixed up

Also makes his own space in the fridge with tape 

BILL’S SPACE DO NOT TOUCH 

And will start yelling in anything is moved 

Not as bad as Sean though because he only cares about his own stuff

The whole thing is super hypocritical though, because he definitely steals other people’s stuff

If he gets caught, claims “it’s only fair” 

Hosea has to buy him soap because he won’t buy it himself

Definitely the one who learns how to make prison hooch with cranberry juice and yeast

And the one who eats all of the ice cream 

Even the nasty flavors 

Wears the same clothes everyday because since he’s not working, “they’re not dirty” 

They start getting holes in them, though

If anyone tries to suggest something for him to do, he gets mad and claims he “knows how to entertain himself”

Also constantly accusing people of being in his space or business 

Ends up starting a ton of fights over this and then complaining about how mean everyone is to him 

He’s not doing it on purpose, though 

Ends up buying some kind of gaming console to pass the time

If he buys an Xbox, he shares with the rest of the boys

If he buys a nintendo switch, he starts playing Animal Crossing and doesn’t put it down for weeks 

Out of everyone… He’s the one who takes the pandemic the least serious 

He follows the rules because he doesn’t want to be eaten alive by any of the boys, but he probably thought the virus was a hoax at first 

He learned his lesson the first time he tried to go out without a mask and got locked in the car, though

Forgets to flush the toilet 

His room is dirty

[shootingsun]

There was a prompt knock at the door of Félix's guest room in the manor. Kali disappeared almost instantly to hide from the person about to enter the room. "Come in!" He called for the person at his door. Nathalie entered the room and looked around, seemingly searching for… something.

She's looking for me. Kali whispered into his ear.

"Your uncle desires to see you in his study soon." She deadpanned. Félix liked Nathalie, she was a decent person - although he still believed she was an idiot for putting up with Public Enemy Number 1, Gabriel Agreste.

As much as he despised his presence, there was something about the whole, "I tricked you into shaking my hand so I could steal these really cool rings that ended up being magical jewellery!" thing that was supposed to be just a fun little way to mess with him - it wasn't supposed to cause any more harm to their already unstable relationship.

That is, until now.

"Greetings, Félix." Said the designer, putting his arms behind his back. Because, being related is no exception to being professional at all times.

"Hello Uncle, you wanted to see me?" 

"There's something I've been meaning to discuss with you for quite some time now. I assume you must already know what that is, correct?"

Ohshitohshitohshit! Quick, play dumb!

"I'm afraid not Uncle, I would be delighted if you were to enlighten me." He lied, internally screaming.

"Hmm. Well then, I'm sure you recall your visit a while back. Your mother has so kindly asked me to hand over the rings that seemed to belong to her family. Does that ring a bell?" He smirked. 

That absolute bastard. Nobody talked about Félix's Mother in a passive aggressive manner!

Except for you, Kali reminded him. 

"Yes Uncle, I do seem to remember that." He commented, rolling his eyes.

"A couple hours after you left, I couldn't find the ring anywhere in the mansion. I'm not accusing you of thievery, really - I just want to clear matters up."

"But Uncle, I seem to recall you having a ring on when Mother and I came to stay because of her production." He had, of course, stolen that ring too. He was petty like that, and they were his after all.

"True indeed. Coincidentally I lost that one too afterwards, which brings me to this point - may I check your hand to make sure of something?"

Ha, jokes on him, they weren't on his hand, he was smarter than that, they were hidden in a custom made pocket in his jacket, and that would be incredibly invasive for him to pull Felix's jacket off and search it without consent wouldn't it? 

As expected, Gabriel didn't find anything. Then again, he's the same person who's been keeping tabs on two literal minors and still didn't succeed at stealing jewellery from them. Whatever Félix did was probably karma for all that. Either way, the topic at hand was another set of rings. And had he thrown a temper tantrum, it would've made him look especially bad in front of his mother. Oh, and his own kid too but, whatever, right? 

"This is a one time offer, Félix. Hand over the rings, or I may take them myself. I have my very own ways to do so." He scoffed. "My patience has a limit."

And suddenly, Félix felt fear.

Fear that didn't come from him, it that came from…

Kali?

no, No, No… No, NO, NO!! Not AGAIN. I DON'T WANNA LEAVE! HE CAN'T MAKE ME LEAVE!

Kali, calm down!

Her emotions were like a flood, there was fear, then sadness, then anger and fear again. She had to calm herself down before they had a panic attack. How to get out of this situation…? He couldn't think straight, his breathing was sharp and shallow, mimicking his Kwami's.

Oh God..  this wasn't gonna end well was it? 

This was it…

"Gabriel? I've been looking all over for you!" His Mother flounced into the room, thank god. He decided then and there that he would never make another sarcastic comment about her again.

"What is it this time?" He asked, slightly irritated.

"Gabriel, you know you always have a 2 o'clock meeting! Nathalie wanted to remind you, but the poor woman's having another dizzy spell and so I insisted I would come and get you instead!" She beamed passive aggressively, an art of which Amelie Graham de Vanily was well versed in. 

It was moments like this that made Gabriel want to punch his in-laws - and it was moments like this that reminded Félix how much he absolutely loved his mother. She was always there, just on time. 

Thank goodness for that. 

His Uncle looked down. Then he glared at his nephew, and he sighed. "Thanks for the reminder, I'll be going soon." Is what he said, but what he really meant was, "This isn't over yet!" And Félix knew.

He stumbled out of the study, breathing wildly, attempting to block out his Kwamis pained screams. He slammed the door to the guest room closed and slumped into a chair.

Kali it's okay! 

NO IT'S NOT! HE WANTS TO HURT US!

MAKE HIM STOP! MAKE HIM STOP! 

Kali we're perfectly safe right now. He tried to reason.

We aren't safe as long as we're in this house! We need to leave! He wants to separate us! 

That can't happen! It can't! It can't!

The thought of forcefully having his Kwami taken from him made Félix want to scream! But he had to remain calm.

Kali, that won't happen, I understand your fear, but you need to take a breath. He went first, showing the breathing exercise he had learnt over time, 5 in, hold for 7, out 8. As her breathing evened out, the Kwami began to lose her invisibility, her form flickered as she slowly calmed herself down.

Do you promise?

Huh?

Promise me that nobody will make me leave you, please?

Her voice and demeanor were unlike the Kali that had developed, it reminded him of when she had first come out of those rings. 

Scared and afraid. And now he knew why.

I promise Kali, nobody will ever keep us apart.

And he truly meant that. Nobody, not even a superhero, could keep them apart for long.

Just a bit after that confrontation, someone came back from his most recent photoshoot. He found his cousin laying on his bed, likely lost in his thoughts. 

He knew Félix was going through a hard time, and he also knew that they've been very close for most of their lives. Adrien would've done anything to help his cousin - and this instance was no exception.

"Hey! How come you're in my room?" He chuckled.

"Ah, erm, it appears I took a wrong turn, sorry about that…"

"How come? You never get lost usually…"

"Well, let's just say that your Father doesn't exactly do good things for my anxiety." He sighed.

"...Oh." And there it comes, stupid Adrien, wrapped around his father's finger, always choosing his parent over him! "Listen… I'm sorry."

What?

"I'm sorry! I think I owe you an apology," he frowned. "for, you know, constantly excusing my father. I'm sorry he's putting you through some stressful stuff, and I'm… not doing anything about it." He turned to look at him. "I hope you can understand that, really. I wish I could do something about it other than offer a shoulder to cry on, but I'm scared of disrespecting his wishes. I apologize." The boy muttered.

"...I guess I was wrong. You didn't do it to hurt me. I thought that was why-" Félix was dumbfounded. Adrien? Admitting his Father was a jerk?? Was this some kind of fever dream???

"...That was why I didn't go to your Dad's funeral?" He guessed. Félix quietly nodded. "No, I'd never want to do that, not after you were there for me when I lost Mom. I'm so sorry, Félix, I should have been there." Tears shone in the latter's green eyes.

"You shouldn't have to apologize, I'm sorry for the way I treated you! You were manipulated, I was just a jerk." He protested, how could he have thought such awful things about such a caring person?

Because you were grieving Lex, you still are.

Don't call me Lex - it was a weak response.

"We were both in pain. And look at you now, you're a good person, I know you are, I can feel it! So maybe since we both apologized for being jerks we just, I dunno, eat ice cream instead?" He smiled awkwardly, for a model he always was such a dork.

Félix raised an eyebrow, "Aren't you lactose intolerant?" he let out a smug grin.

"Oh hush! I can handle a tub of ice cream!" He was going to get so sick tomorrow... Eh, what the hell!

Hey, are you sure you don’t wanna tell him that you know he's Chat Noir?

Kali! You're ruining the moment!

-----------------------------------------

This fic was made in collaboration with @yawngearyoie at around midnight while we both craved hurt/comfort

This fic IS Cannon to our Bat Félix AU, and will be referenced in other oneshots and the fic. Approximately a quarter of this fic has foreshadowing in it for the actual AU. Pick up on that and you get a cookie 🍪 lol.

The first (offical) part of our AU should be coming either today or at some point next week. We're gonna create a masterpost so y'all can read the fics in the order they actually happen in and not our crazy upload schedule (whenever we feel like it).

Send in Asks if you have any questions, or if you just wanna talk about the AU.

Thanks for reading! (We will be making a tag list, so if you wanna be on that, just say)

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Hi! I know I have other unfinished fic, but I’ve actually been writing a bit, and you can blame @the-well-rested-one! I have five chapters queued up and outline for several more, that’s a good sign! Please comment if you read, or reblog! Thank you to @nikibi6 and @emulateharry for the looksie!

The One Where Harry Styles Sneezed On Me

Day One

There's only three people out on the pavement ahead of her, and a part of Elise is tempted to tip toe because she watches too many movies.

The streets of London are quieter than Elise has seen them since she moved here. She'd basically never left her university classes and not been shoulder to shoulder with wall to wall people. Her classes were over at rush hour and there were a lot of people in London at any time of day. Had you asked her before the move, she would have said she liked big crowds. But now, the tube sometimes gave her anxiety, a brand new thing, because it was so packed.

Today, well London was like a ghost town, like the film where she'd fallen in love with the city and decided she would study abroad there. It was an odd one, but that sounded like her.

28 Days Later was a weird inspiration, but maybe because London was empty in the movie, she was able to see things about it better. It was also why she felt like she should be extra quiet on the nearly deserted streets, this was the closest approximation to her favorite movie scenes she'd probably ever see in one of the biggest cities in the world. Elise had never been to a big city, not really, the largest was maybe Phoenix. But it didn't really feel that much bigger than Tucson, where she grew up, or maybe it had just grown before her eyes so she hadn't noticed.

London was a proper big city as her roommate told her, and Elise hadn't made it for a semester abroad. She'd wound up here for her post graduate work, she couldn't afford it during undergrad. The living expenses, turns out, were too expensive, but she'd found a way later, because there was a will, a dream.

Her will for today had been to find her way after class to the next public green space on her list. She'd done Kensington Gardens, Hyde Park, and Regent's Park. She went after class when she could, if there was sunlight to catch. Today was so pretty, she had decided to go even if it meant catching the tube by herself at night. And then she had stepped out into a London eerily like the one from the movie that had first infatuated her. There were people on the street though, and they didn't look like the walking dead, just the walking afraid. Those who had braved the streets wore masks. One lady had gardening gloves on. Elise wasn't sure if she was underreacting or everybody else was over the top. She hadn't really thought about it, mostly because she was under 80, and well, honestly, maybe she did feel a little bit of the invincibility youth brings.

Apparently lots of Londoners didn't feel the same way. Including those who ran her Uni. She arrived with her notebooks and excited for her day plans, resolute, to find a sign on an easel in the entryway.

"Classes Cancelled today. Online classes will resume tomorrow. All formats will be conducted via Portal for three weeks, or until further notice."

Well, shit. Had they thought to send an email? It may have saved her the trip.

Elise looked at the 100,000 emails in her gmail and discovered they had indeed emailed her. This was why she avoided online courses, she was much better, learned better, in person. Also, she was abysmal at keeping up with things via email. The next few weeks would be a trial.

She'd have to figure it out, and she knew herself; A schedule was necessary, she'd write one down, on paper, to order her life while she had to finish these courses online. But that seemed to be her only coursework for this day.

That was a bright side. She took it as a silver lining, she could head to the old London Heath right away. She considered walking, plotted out her path and realized that it was a long, long way, so long it would steal all of her energy to explore.

The tube was really ghostly, like the ghost town they visited once, Calico or something?

Regardless, she was surprised she wasn't more excited. It was just like 28 Days Later. Well not really, no bloodthirsty, spattered lurchers, but it felt eerie. Like it had the first time she watched it, before she got totally immune to the plot and could only see the sights. She was thankful when a few people got on her carriage, though they sat as far from each other as the spacing allowed. She quickly looked up more information on her phone and estimated how far away the people should be, they were all separated by much more than that.

By the time she got to her destination, she'd normally be just getting out of her first class, and Elise's stomach reminded her that this was meal time. She really was married to a schedule, or at least her biology was. She thought a picnic would be lovely, so she looked up a market and found a Whole Foods nearby. She would splash out for her lunch it looked like, could be worse, could be Waitrose, and must be cheaper than a cafe, surely.

London was pricey. Which she'd known intellectually and was now experiencing literally everyday. As such, Elsie was kinda thinking she needed a job. Was she allowed to work? Maybe on campus. She'd have to ask the question to somebody who knew; she was running through her reserves.

Elise kinda sighed at herself as she walked into Whole Foods. Maybe this was not the best idea. But it was bright and cheery inside and smelled like green juice and roasted vegetables. Her stomach growled and she decided the worst that could happen was she would wind up eating cup o' noodles and have to pack a lunch a lot towards the end of semester before her next stipend.

Elsie shrugged and sang along a little to the song playing overhead. She felt like she rarely heard One Direction here, she heard it played out more in public in the US, and wondered if that was due to public exhaustion. She understood that it had been next level crazy here. Maybe it was just time? They'd been her favorite when she was in early high school. She had decided she was gonna marry Liam in eighth grade. That opinion changed as they all aged. She got too cool for them, and well, some of them grew up nicely. "Just how fast the night changes." She tried to harmonize along. The song also meant she wasn't hurrying she was, however, wandering.

Fruit, she should grab some fruits, that was always a good place to start.

How she wound up by the hot bar she didn't know, but she grabbed a bit of roast chicken and realized the layout was backwards to the one she was used to in Tucson. The metal spoon clanked as she got some potatoes that looked deliciously crunchy and had little burned ridges like she loved. She should have some vegetables. Carrots didn't count, real green things were needed. Asparagus counted. She was looking at the cut fruit, but then thought about her budget concerns and headed over to the produce section.

It was a little emptier than what she assumed was normal, a few ladies and a tall, lanky man in a hoodie and hat were the only people about. He was broad from the back, but had a furtive set to his shoulder that made him smaller. He was also standing exactly where she wanted to be. In front of the bananas, her favorite of the economical fruits. The best bunches clustered where he didn't seem to be doing anything but loitering.

Elise's belly growled, the aroma of her roasted chicken wafted up. She'd give it another minute and if he hadn't moved, she'd try to politely shoulder her way around him, 6 feet or not.

She gave it two minutes. By the end her converse was audible tapping. He still hadn't moved at all. So help her, if he was on his phone! It was time for action. She came up to about his shoulder, and he did not seem to notice there was 5 feet of impatience at his elbow, at least he certainly didn't move. When Elise realized he was on his phone, her patience snapped. That had to break some kind of grocery store etiquette. Was there grocery store etiquette? Certainly, it would extend to standing so people couldn't access foods when you were fucking around on your phone.

She reached past him, "sorry, excuse my reach." she hoped he could hear just how not sorry she was. Elise was good at passive-aggression.

She heard his breathing change and was ready to tell him he had just been blocking the bananas for three minutes, and she knew she wasnt being socially distant, but he was being rude, when he turned towards her. He was being rude, especially by English standards and she would tell him so, even if she wasn't sure if he was exactly impolite, accusing an Englishman of that was very effective.

She realized two things when he looked at her.

One- he was not some stranger- he was HARRY. FUCKING.STYLES!

And two- as his spit splattered all over her face, he wasn't about to call her rude, his gasp had been the beginning of a sneeze.

😷😷😷😷😷

The last hour had been an absolute blur. She had just sat down to eat. And though her 16 year old self would consider this an upgrade, her 23 year old self was really sad the heath was not the site of her lunch, even if it had been switched out for her teenage dream.

Because Harry Styles had started his litany of apologies with a "fuck!" Then a spilling ramble. "I'm so sorry, dammit, I knew I should have just sent somebody. Dammit, Jesus fuck, now you will have to be quarantined too." His hands were fumbling with the wet wipes and she could smell the disinfectant on them. She stopped him short before he was wiping that shit on her face and was redirecting his hand while he was still talking about how they could just both be holed up in his house. It distracted from the fact he was rubbing spittle off her shirt very close to her nipple.

"I mean, it's not huge. Damn, I kinda wish the new house was done. Then we wouldn't even have to see each other. Not that, I um, wouldn't want to see you, or like whatever, but um. We don't know each other and we'll be, like, living together for several weeks. I guess you could quarantine at your place. But I just feel better, cause it's my fault. Seems rude to possibly infect somebody due to negligence, and not like, help them through it. I just had to have my celery juice." That part was said under his breath, and he wasn't holding any juice.

She remembered the closed juice bar. The sign had read: Our fresh bars-juice, smoothie, and coffee are close due to Covid- 19 contagion worries. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Then it clicked, while she wiped his sputum from her face. That is what he was talking about. What the?

"Are you just wandering around whole foods infecting people? You have the virus?"

She realized she'd been talking really loud and attracting attention. Harry certainly realized.

He looked agitated and around to see if they had an audience, and she realized his face was a bit of a liability. That would be some headline for sure. "Harry Styles spreading coronavirus!" or some shit like that. He used to get press for existing, the memory made her soft for him.

"Let's get you checked out. And we can go back to my place and talk?" He made eye contact and she got confused for a second longer.

"What?" Elise found herself saying. She would normally never ever go home with some dude in a store. But, this dude was Harry Styles, and that made her feel simultaneously safer and also like this was a chance she had to take. She also wanted to yell at him a little.

He sighed, like she was a hard to open packet of chips. "Can you check out and meet me outside?" He looked around again and bit his lip because the women nearby were watching them. He handed her his basket and helped her transfer her things to it, "Can you grab my things too?" He didn't sound like she remembered him. But she supposed she'd not done more than listen to his albums once through after she'd grown out of her One Direction phase.

He sounded better. He was still growing up well.

"Huh?" She was not following him. He gave her that exasperated face and thinned his lips before he quickly got a hundred pound note out. "Check out and I'll meet you in my car. I'm near the front, all right?"

She barely remembered checking out. The girl had to prompt her twice, and she'd shoved the sanitizer at her when they'd both had to touch the change. She even considered keeping. Can you grab my things too, the audacity! But she handed it to him promptly and he put it away and sanitized his hands and gave her a squirt too. Chivalry in the time of Corona.

The drive had been quiet. Though she was sure there were things to do, to say, certainly. So the radio played and Harry sang along. It was a surreal moment, right out of her teenage dreams. Listening to Harry Styles sing in his expensive car. The missing piece that made it reality instead of fantasy was that she was not singing along, instead she was confused and hungry.

"Here, I'll warm up your lunch." Was the first thing he said to her as he ushered her into the square house she recognized from something on the internet years ago. It was a little cold inside and Elise fitted her sweater around her shoulders and sat at the wood grain kitchen table. Her food came to her steaming. Then a warm mug she immediately wrapped her hands around.

"You cold?" He asked while moving to a fancy looking blue screened rectangle on the wall. "I'm always cold, so I just wait until someone seems too cold to change anything."

She nodded.

"Right, so you know me?" He asked like it was taking out the garbage.

"Um," Elise took a drink. "Yeah, I was a huge One Direction fan in high school."

He smiled at that. "Ok, is that why you've gone silent? Freaking out?"

"Yeah, and also, I'm not really following. Honestly."

"Why don't you tell me a little about about what you think is going on. Then I'll fill in my side."

She took a breath. "Can I eat my lunch first?" She needed a minute, and she was beyond hungry, and annoyed. Definitely annoyed. And maybe just a touch of freaking out. Harry was her favorite for a lot longer than Liam, if she was honest.

"Oh! Yes, of course." He shook his head, "how rude of me."

That was why he felt rude? Not the bananas or irresponsible shopping trip. Elise widened her eyes at her carton before she dug in and didn't look up until the blender went.

A green smoothie, vibrant and lush, was placed at her elbow. It matched his eyes. "Here, to your health."

"Thank you." She took a sip and smiled. Her blood sugar was rising and she was already feeling considerably better, though her odd situation and figuring it out came to the forefront. "So, um, to my health hmmm?" She cheered the air.

Harry exhaled and nodded.

"To yours as well?"

"I suppose you could say that." He pulled his lip between his forefingers and she remembered that from interviews.

"You're not supposed to touch your face." She ah, ah, ahhed with a grin.

He laughed and it broke some of their tension. "I'm not. Neither are you."

Elise realized she had her chin in her hand. She slapped it lightly on the table and sat up. "Fair enough, so what am I doing here, Mr. Styles?"

He groaned lowly and she wondered what that was about. She didn't let it sidetrack her though, she'd wait out his response.

He took a big gulp of health and Elise watched the chunky residue slide down the glass.

"You've heard of Coronavirus, yes?"

She couldn't help but roll her eyes.

He chuckled, she hoped at himself, what the fuck kind of question was that?

"Right, pretty unavoidable, yeah?" He didn't need her to agree, he kept talking. "I travel a lot."

"Duh!" she interrupted.

At that he really did laugh. "So, I travel a lot, duh, and I flew on a flight where somebody tested positive. There aren't many tests yet, they're rationing them."

"Even for you?" She was surprised.

"Even for me," he sighed. "I'm just a person. Anyway, the person in question asked for a pic for his daughter—."

"Likely story."

"Perhaps, and so, we were in close proximity and we shook hands," she nodded along with the line of his narrative. "They won't test me unless I show symptoms. But quarantine was recommended."

He finished, he'd left out a part though.

"Is Whole Foods part of the quarantine radius?"

He blushed a little, and all of the reasons she'd had some of her earliest fantasies about him surfaced. "No, not as such. But I was low on bananas."

"Nobody you could pay a euro for your bunch of bananas?" She hoped for a laugh.

He squinted. "Course, but I don't like to be a bother."

She couldn't help but laugh at that. "So, in your effort to not inconvenience anyone for a couple hours, you've exposed me by sneezing in my face, rude, and kidnapping me to your house? So, now I have to quarantine too?"

"You aren't a kid. How could I nap you?" This was not a joke, but the humor of it was not escaping either of them.

"Not what that means, though I've no idea why." She shrugged.

"Young lady napped?" He tried.

"Oh god, you are sooo English. Young lady napped." She tried on his drawl.

"That was terrible!" He shook his head like he was offended.

"I thought it was pretty good?" She popped her shoulder and her own little dimple in her left cheek appeared, though it didn't pull the weight his did. He narrowed his eyes before raising up his eyebrows.

"It was alright, I suppose. We have time to perfect it."

"Why's that?" She found herself asking.

"Well, we're pretty much stuck together. How d'ya feel about two weeks at Le Hotel Styles?"

He couldn't be serious, could he?

[thestupidhelmet]

pollotitus said in response to this post:

I find myself of two minds on it. On one hand, I don’t think it’s necessarily OOC at that point because I don’t think the other girl is anything more than a prop used as a kind of leverage. I wouldn’t call it great writing, but I can see Hyde playing tip for tap at the stage. The problem is the setup for the whole storyline is so weak. Seemingly all of Hyde’s paranoia is brought on by Kelso, not Jackie, so it does not come off as genuine. On the other, I am not sure how we’re supposed to see the whole thing. It’s so baffling to me that the writers try to compare the two screwups. They play at the idea that Jackie didn’t really do anything wrong with Hyde admitting he acted poorly, but the story shows otherwise with Jackie, as you say, having to ‘win�� him back and go first in their makeup. So the power-balance is restored, thus rendering it kinda pointless aside from giving them a cliffhanger aside from Kelso getting over it. He could have done that on his own. The whole thing actually reminded me a little bit of when Kelso tried to blame Jackie for his cheating because she made him feel bad. Like… did I miss something here?

You didn’t miss a thing. It’s simply bad writing.

For me, the almost pathological passive-aggressiveness given to Hyde’s character in season 5 is an OOC element introduced to manufacture conflict. The writers clearly didn’t trust Hyde had enough issues to create conflict organically. That new characterization greatly intensifies his capacity for cruelty and maliciousness, the likes of which we hadn’t witnessed before that season (save during “Ski Trip” [1x13]).

Hyde’s behavior toward Jackie in “The Kids Are Alright” (6x01) -- when he kisses her passionately, seemingly accepting her choice of him, only to leave with Raquel -- is a prime example of this passive-aggressiveness and cruelty. This characterization makes Hyde less likeable and was totally unnecessary. He’s complex enough without having integrated and passing on the abusive behavior of his parents.

In fact, his characterization prior to season 5 shows him consistently behaving contrary to his mom’s abuse. He’s protective of the vulnerable, to the point of putting his own life in danger. He doesn’t have to like or know a person to give aid; that they need help is enough. But he often disguises his motive for giving help, or that he was helping at all, as a way of protecting himself. He either consciously believes or unconsciously feels in his gut that his compassion could be used against him. His mom and/or dad likely did.

In “Black Dog” (5x09), after Kelso shoots Hyde with a BB gun, Hyde justifies faking a semi-serious injury to Donna and Eric. At the end of this dialogue, he says, “So I’m gonna punish him the way my parents punished me.“

This is the instinct Hyde acts on toward Jackie, too, at the end of season 5 and the beginning of season 6. But when his mom verbally abuses him in “Career Day” (1x18), he doesn’t exact revenge. He walks away from her. In “Eric’s Stash” (2x12), after Eric accuses Hyde of stealing his money, Hyde expresses his anger and feelings of betrayal directly. After Fez accidentally breaks the taillight of Hyde’s car in “Leo Loves Kitty” (4x18), Hyde is angry but doesn’t act out. Instead, he demands Fez pay for a new taillight.

Perhaps most significantly, in “Hyde’s Father” (3x03), Hyde speaks his mind to his reappeared absentee dad, walks away several times, then confronts him angrily (after some prompting from Kitty). If Hyde doesn’t behave passive-aggressively or cruelly toward his dad, I don’t believe for a second he’d to the same to Jackie. He would walk away. He would angrily confront. But he would not do the things he does in “You Shook Me” (5x22) or “The Kids Are Alright”.

That’s why the writers introduced a malicious, vengeful streak into his character during season 5: to set up that Hyde would behave contrary to his previous three-plus years of characterization. They even acknowledge this in “You Shook Me” during Hyde’s exchange with Roy:

Hyde: I told Jackie I don’t want her hanging out with Kelso! I walk in, they’re playing couch-Twister! And I don’t know if something just happened or something was about to happen, but you know what? I don’t care anymore!

Roy: Have you talked to her?

Hyde: No! Come on, man, I’m done talking! I’m just glad I saw them. Now I can be the bigger person and bail before she does.

Roy asks, “Have you talked to her?” because real!Hyde would have. Hyde also indicates that he’s going to walk away from his relationship with Jackie, which would be in-character, too, but he doesn’t. He sleeps with another woman as revenge, as a screw-you! to torpedo his relationship with Jackie and make sure she won’t take him back -- in case he’s “too weak” (i.e. too in love) to stay broken up with her.

Despite my dislike of Hyde’s new characterization in season 5, however, my fic Hyde’s Long Way Home probably wouldn’t have been written without it. His capacity for cruelty is a key part of that story. Season-4 Hyde likely would’ve gotten out of the time-loop at lot sooner.

[prorevenge]

You don’t want me to sleep for 9 months? Ok, guess you don’t need your degree.

So, I wasn’t sure if this story qualified for pro or petty. Everything I do, over the course of this, is extremely petty, but I think it probably is what I would consider a ‘scale up’ from low tier revenge, mostly on account of the last part.

So some backstory. This was about 6 years ago, during my first year at university. In the UK, you basically have two options for accommodations in your first year. The first option is called Halls, you stay in a huge apartment complex with a bunch of different students, you share a floor with about 10-15 people. Or, you go to a student house, which is basically a normal house, that some greedy landlord converts all the available space into bedrooms for 5-6 people (but, this is not always the case, in my second year I lived in a house with 15 people, many Petty Revenge stories there if I find the time to type them out). Anyway, I chose the latter.

I moved into what would be a 3 bed house, turned into a 5 bed. What would have been a living room, was converted into a bedroom below my room. 3 of my housemates were fine, we were civil to one another, but not really friends, we just lived different lives. We would go out for the occasional bevvy, have dinner together, but mostly just coexist peacefully. Notice how I said it was a 5 bed though?

Enter housemate in question. Let’s call her Cathy. Cathy was of African descent, very rich parents, sent to live in the UK to study Engineering, as the educational system in her native country was very poor. She was short, fat and quite obnoxious. When I moved in, I made a point of introducing myself to everyone. My first impression of Cathy wasn’t great. An issue I noticed immediately (of which persists throughout the entirety of our living together) is that Cathy f***ing stinks. You know when you work out for 4 hours but you crash out and forget the shower before? It was like that x1000. It was extensively unbearable. On top of that, Cathy is really rude. She basically starts out by saying she’s been here for 2 years already, and she wasn’t gonna change again this year. This had me a little concerned, but at the time it wasn’t a huge issue, I told her I kept to myself a lot, so she wouldn’t see any problems from me.

The first week or so I didn’t notice many problems. I was out partying hard during most nights (at English University, the first week is called ‘Freshers’ where everyone goes out and gets wasted for a week the week before studies start) other than some of my food going missing, and dirty plates staying on the side. F**k it, it’s week one, it’s fine.

Then Cathy rears her ugly head. So, I’m going to bed at 9pm the first night before studies (I had an hour commute to my campus and 1st day I wanted to be very awake) and I hear her shouting downstairs, she sounds very excited. I would find out tonight that Cathy is an avid gamer. Now myself I love games, I have late night sessions all the time, but I’m respectful of my housemates. I lie in bed, awake until 2:30am, hearing Cathy scream at her monitor and the sounds of a shooter in the background, very loudly. I didn’t want to be a bad housemate, so I let it happen. I barely slept and I went into my first lecture completely exhausted from sleep deprivation. I figured it was a one off, or it might happen every now and again. I was very wrong.

This carried on for 4 days before I said anything. On the Friday, I approach her in the kitchen and politely say “hey, don’t want to be rude, but can you try and keep it down a little late at night, I can hear you loud and clear through the floor and it’s really messing with my sleep. I don’t wanna be rude but I’ve noticed it’s been happening a lot”. She basically tells me I’m overreacting, she’s doing nothing wrong, nobody else has complained so it’s not a real issue. Cathy shares a wall with another housemate on the ground floor, so when she gets home I ask her about the issue. Turns out Cathy gave her the same spiel as to me. We knock on her door and ask what’s the problem, together. She gives us this whole sob story about how hard it is to make friends, that her online friends are her family, they live all across the world and she doesn’t want to break that relationship. I feel bad (stupidly) and tell her I totally get it, but just try and be a little quieter on weeknights. She says “I’ll try, maybe” and we leave it at that.

That night I slept fine. I thought it was over. The next night she’s screaming again, but it’s the weekend, so I get high as a kite and fall asleep in the bathtub. Sunday night rolls around, she’s screaming again, I can hear the sound of her rifle firing in game and she shouting obscenities with every shot. It gets to 11pm and I go downstairs and knock. Nothing. I wait a little while and try again. No change. I try again, same, so I go into the back garden and knock on her window. I hear her shout F OFF a few times and give up. I go to bed, but not to sleep.

This happens for the next few weeks. She screams, I go to confront, she screams at me through the wall till I leave. I approach her in the day, and she tells me she could hear me, doesn’t know what I’m talking about, I must have been DREAMING, think of a bs excuse and it’s probably on the list of things she would say.

So begins the revenge. I start by just going downstairs, flicking the power off and on for the router, and going back upstairs. The house is kind of old and creaky, so it’s pretty obvious that as the WiFi goes down, it’s me. This happens a few nights until she confronts me as I’m leaving in the morning. I tell her bluntly, yeah, it’s me, stop with the screaming or things are just going to get worse. She threatens to call our landlord on me. Great idea. I leave the house, go to my lectures, and after Uni I visit the landlord. I tell him the entire story about everything that’s happening, and how hard it’s making our lives. He says he’ll look into it, please be patient.

More weeks go by, no more pranks from me but no interference from the landlord. The night I contacted him was silent, but after that everything went back to scream-a-palooza. I contact him again, he says trust him, no changes. I try again, guess what no changes.

So I start getting pettier. So, I failed to mention before (at least in great detail) that Cathy is messy AF. She would eat, then leave all her plates, pots and pans on the side and return to her lair. For the first month, we just washed them up for her, nobody wants a messy kitchen. But, I was pissed off. So I started a new system. If I see a dirty plate of hers, I’d leave it in front her door. This was funny for a few days until I started finding my dirty plates she used at my door. From this point on, all kitchen equipment that was mine would from there on out live in my room until the end of my tenancy. This went on for another sleepless week until I am awoken by my landlord with a police officer. I’m told I’ve been stealing from my housemates and I need to go to the station. I promptly explain the situation, and my other housemates back me up. The officer clearly is annoyed to have his time wasted by us and leaves. Me, the housemates, Cathy and landlord have a group discussion on how to end the hostilities. We demand quiet weeknights and a clean kitchen, in exchange we (though, really it was just me) will not perform passive aggressive petty revenge. Seems like a fair deal right? No. Landlord said he can’t give any ‘preferential treatment’ so we need to stop regardless. I’m glad to say though, even though this guy was an awful landlord, he never interfered again, allowing for further pettiness to ensue.

So, back to revenge. Cathy would run an Ethernet cable from the modem to her computer, along the floor and into her room. I would start by unplugging this cable any time she was screaming. Cathy then started taping the cable so it was harder to pull out the socket. It got to a point were our hallway had a huge mess of tape and wire going across from the router all the way to her room. But f**k Cathy. I bought a roll of the same tape she had used, waited for her to leave the house. I had to wait 3 weeks for this opportunity. When I finally had the chance, I pulled up the tape, took a pair of scissors, cut the cable and taped it all back down. How she got into university was beyond me, as she didn’t figure it out for a few days. I slept wonderfully those nights. She confronted me days later and accused me of my crime. I simply denied it, and slammed the door in her face.

After this it was fairly passive aggressive both sides. Any time I heard noise I’d unplug the cable. She started eating my food (so I ended up buying a mini fridge and storing all my food in my room) and she would regularly throw out my belongings if I left them around the house. It was all getting a bit much. Mid year, I bought a cheap, turtle beach headset. I knocked on her door, and offered it as a peace treaty. I said the noise had to stop, and the revenge was starting to get out of hand. Please, take the headset, continue to enjoy your games, but I desperately need sleep. She took the headset, said thank you and promptly retreated to her room.

(As a side note, I’d never seen her room up until this point. It, was, disgusting. Old food everywhere, wrappers and cans. Her bed was half a space to sleep, half pizza boxes and rubbish. The smell was so bad, that after the conversation I went upstairs and threw up. I would only see the inside of that room once again until I moved)

So, overly generous peace offering? Yes. But I was desperate. The lack of sleep was really starting to affect my work, social life and relationship. I hoped it would turn a new leaf. Well, no. All night that night, screaming. I woke up the next day, and had a smoke in the garden. As I was pacing, I looked over at her window. Hanging out the window, I see a very damaged turtle beach headset. I decided in that moment, to destroy her.

Before I get into the big stuff, here’s a few c***ty things I did on top. I would pour salt into her milk and juice. Any time she left the house, I would cut the Ethernet. I put toothpaste onto her door handle. Any soft drinks she bought? Took them to class and donated them to my friends.

Anyway, so you notice that I said I had to wait 3 weeks for my cable prank? I became very aware that Cathy barely left the house. She was 100% not going to lectures or assignments. I started posting letters to her faculty posing as her parents asking for updates on her studies. After a few weeks she would start to get into shouting arguments with her parents over the phone. I then started ringing the faculty to let them know when she wasn’t in attendance. Our university had a relaxed approach to this, but all courses were expected to have an 85% attendance rating, or you’d face potential problems. After speaking to her staff supervisor, she had a whopping 23% rating. After a few more calls, it was established that she would have a ‘meeting’ as essentially a case for her to plead herself as to why she should stay. I took the time to somewhat befriend her supervisor, and asked if I could be present at the meeting to profess my story to aid in her expulsion. He agreed. As the days to her meeting rolled up, it was clear (due to the arguments with her parents on the phone) that she would not be staying here if she did not keep her position on her course. She began cleaning up after herself, and actually spoke to me semi-civilly begging me not to speak to the university any more. I told her, if she didn’t shout any more all the way to the hearing, then I’d retract all of my previous statements and give my verbal support to her staying. Zero noise. I slept like a baby for 3 days. Thursday night (meeting was the Friday) rolls around.

A final note, whenever Cathy did get up in the mornings, she had an extremely loud and obnoxious alarm clock, which would be on ages.

Thursday night, I give each of my other housemates the run down, and ask them to either skip town for the night and let it run its course. 2 stayed 2 left. Come 9pm, I proceed to invite my entire society around for drinks. 30 people in our tiny house drinking, shouting and playing loud music until 3am. Cathy comes out angry, begging, at one point in tears telling me to stop. But F this B, she had this coming. I go to bed at 4:30am. I wake up at 6am. No noise in the house. Good, she’s asleep. I go downstairs to the switchboard, and cut the power. I go out, eat breakfast, and go to the meeting at 8:30am. Much to my delight, Cathy does not turn up. At 9am I give the committee a full rendition of the past 9 months of hell, and proceed to strongly advise expulsion.

Afterwards, I call my university and fake having the flu, asking for a recovery period of 4-5 days. They accept, and I go back home to see my family for a week.

I return to a house one less occupied, with a few stand out pieces. In front of my room door, the now almost dust turtle beach headset. LOL. But, I ventured to her room. The smell had not left permanently, but it was bearable now. Many of her possessions were gone, but many left behind, most notably her printer and several pieces of balled up paper around it. Firstly, balled up print out copies of flight tickets to her native country, and a flight map. A letter from the university, denoting her immediate expulsion. A letter from our landlord, noting that as per the tenant agreement, if she cannot find study again within 28 days, she will be forced to leave the house. And finally; the creme de la creme. A letter, clearly intended for me and the housemates that she gave up on, telling us how this was all our fault and one day she would come back to haunt us.

(source) story by (/u/Tucker_Design)

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.12, “The Ex Factor”

The episode begins with Andi dancing and crafting, as you do. She decorates the bottom of a group project for school about eggs.

Hold on a second. Let me just check their work.

Okay, first of all, that opening sentence is a mess. “Categorized by... stand on two legs”? Proofread! Come on.

But, and this is the bigger issue, it appears the majority of this paragraph is lifted right from the Wikipedia page on theropoda.

The other paragraph from up above, on the index card to the left, is lifted from the Wikipedia page on turtles.

It’s not just that plagiarism is bad, but this is lazy plagiarism. Do they not think the first place their teacher is going to check is the Wikipedia article? Move some words around! Mix some synonyms in there! It’s like you want to be caught! God!

Also, which class is this for exactly?

You’ve got Aristotle in the top left, so... philosophy? But then you also have Charles Darwin in the top right, which suggests science.

Or is this just the entire general history of the chicken or the egg question going back to the dinosaurs?

I feel like the project needs more focus.

Maybe Andi’s group mates will step up to help deal with these many issues.

Nope. Never mind.

When this project gets failed, you’ll only have yourselves to blame.

At Red Rooster, Bowie finishes up a group guitar lesson and walks out into the store to find Plot Device.

Sorry, did I say Plot Device? I meant Miranda. My bad. And she’s brought along her daughter, little Plot Device Jr.

Bowie awkwardly tries to figure out what these two are doing here.

Before Miranda answers, she sends Morgan off.

“Morgie, honey, why don’t you go do the loudest thing possible in this small room while we try to have a conversation. I think that’d be a pretty neat representation of our role on this show.”

So Morgan bangs on the drums while Bowie tries to talk.

He makes a joke about being happy with the knowledge Morgan can’t steal one of the drums, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, she’s good at thievery. Don’t let your guard down around her for one second. You’ll think she hasn’t taken a drum and then find out she emptied out the till when you weren’t looking.

Miranda tells Bowie he was right in what he said when last they spoke. You remember, that thing where he was like, “Hey Miranda, you should try parenting even the tiniest amount.” Turns out, that was good advice. Miranda listened and feels she’s a better mother and Morgan’s a happier child.

Morgan returns and tells Bowie that Miranda has a new boyfriend, whom she refers to as “Not Bowie.”

Which is insanely passive-aggressive for a child her age. Or just aggressive-aggressive? It’s like somewhere in the middle. It’s active-aggressive.

Miranda heard Bowie was teaching guitar so she brought Morgan to see if she could sign up for lessons. Bowie’s like, eh... I’m all booked, it’s not a great time, yadda yadda. So Morgan’s like...

Bowie’s like, “Morgan, I don’t hate you... I just don’t like you. There’s a lot of area in the middle.”

No, of course, Bowie relents because that’s a super messed up, manipulative, guilt trippy thing for an 8 year old or whatever to say. So Bowie sends Morgan to the back to look at guitars.

And then Miranda, who has a boyfriend, gets closer to Bowie and she’s like...

Bowie points out that she has a boyfriend, but Miranda is like, “Pfft, Not-Bowie? He’s no Bowie.”

Here’s the thing, Bowie and Miranda dated for like, a few months? Probably at least a half a year ago? There was tension with Bowie’s family the entire time and then things ended really poorly, so what exactly are Miranda and Morgan hanging onto here? More trips to the miniature golf course? Access to a record store? Plant stuff? “Not-Bowie just doesn’t have the kind of knowledge of plants that a woman like me needs.” Let it go, girl.

Bowie tells Miranda he’s engaged, which she takes well.

She’s like, who’s the lucky woman for no reason whatsoever I’m just curious and nothing more and Bowie tells her it’s Bex.

At The Spoon, the GHC and Jonah get breakfast. Well, the GHC gets breakfast. Jonah says he’s not hungry and just wants to enjoy their company, which Buffy thinks is both sweet and weird.

Like a baby holding a hammer.

Amber comes by with a dish she’s supposed to throw out because it’s a wrong order. Instead, she offers it to Jonah, who accepts and starts to dig in.

I gotta say, Jonah’s silverware technique needs work.

How do you have any control of the fork that way? Also, who cuts scrambled eggs with a knife?

Buffy’s suspicions are raised by Amber’s seemingly too nice behavior.

At Cloud 10, Celia takes time out from helping all of the zero customers in the place to finish up Bex’s wedding invitations.

Bex tells her the invitations are beautiful. Celia says she was going to mail them herself since she already did everything except that, but decides that Bex should handle mailing them, because it’s her special day. “It’s your wedding, you should be the one to have the honor of putting these papers in a metal box.”

The door to Cloud 10 opens and who walks in? Not a customer, that’s for sure.

Celia’s immediately on the offensive, calling her Melinda and asking if she’s there to accuse them of losing something to cover up a theft.

Miranda seems to treat that as an actual question.

Miranda says she’s there to congratulate Bex on her engagement. Celia’s not buying it. Bex asks her to go chill in the back office for a minute. Celia agrees to do that but then adds that Miranda shouldn’t get too comfortable.

“...and polishing a broadsword in a threatening manner.”

Miranda tells Bex she really only came to give her best wishes but then she launches into what feels like an extremely pointed story about her failed relationship with Morgan’s father. She never saw it coming, she says. They were so happy. A perfect relationship for six years. And then they got married and the whole thing collapsed like a Jenga tower. They drifted apart until it felt like they were living two different lives. Eventually, they couldn’t even remember why they were together in the first place.

Wow. She really only needed to add something like, “And let me tell you, having to raise a daughter together helped nothing. In fact, she only made things worse! It expedited things!”

Miranda’s tale of woe really affects Bex.

Miranda’s like, oh, don’t worry, I’m not talking about you and Bowie. I’m sure your marriage will be just fine. I mean, half of all marriages end in divorce, but it probably won’t be you guys, right? Hahaha. Flip a coin, right? Heads or tails? Heads or tails? Hehe.

Back at Red Rooster, Bowie finally comes to check on Morgan. He makes her promise she’s going to behave.

It’s like prison rules.

Bowie takes his eyes off of Morgan for literally seven seconds to grab a guitar and turns back to find she’s disappeared like some kind of GHOST.

Bowie does the smart thing: he looks around for a second, checks the top of a desk...

...doesn’t check behind the curtain that’s right there, shouts “Morgan!”, checks nothing else, and then walks out of the room...

...despite not having heard the door open and close behind him.

He walks out to the main part of the store and asks if anyone’s seen Morgan, but no one has. So he does the smart thing again: he goes back and checks the room she’s most likely in. No, I’m just kidding, he walks out of Red Rooster.

God I bet I’d be so good against him if we played Hide and Seek. I’m not amazing at it or anything, but he is terrible.

At The Spoon, the kids debate what to do with their day. They settle on going to Adrenaline City. Jonah says it sounds fun, but he’s gonna pass. That is, until Amber shows up and says she has an extra pass.

Jonah agrees to go. Amber’s like, great, I’m just gonna go change real quick. But, um... doesn’t she have to work? Didn’t her shift just start? It’s breakfast. Or does she only work the 8am-9am shift?

Jonah goes to thank her for inviting him. Buffy sniffs out that something is up. She thinks Jonah and Amber are getting back together.

The gang heads to Adrenaline City.

I guess I’m not sure why Cyrus was excited for this. Does he not know who he is?

Buffy uses her basketball skills to win a weird blue llama.

Listen, I don’t like amusement park stuffed animals. They’re super fragile and probably all filled with asbestos. They cost 25 cents to make and you can’t win a decent sized one without slapping down $50. I’m not saying that prevents me from trying to win the damn things every time I go, I’m just saying I don’t like it.

Anyway, the whole time at the park, Buffy’s enjoyment is dampened by the escalating Jonah and Amber situation.

Buffy turns to her emotional support stuffed animal for comfort.

Don’t put the asbestos llama that close to your face!

Cyrus, meanwhile, continues to suffer through a day of fun at the park.

Alone, by the way. Hey, you know who’s between friends right now and probably wouldn’t mind sharing a flying swing with you, Cyrus? Just saying.

After their day of riding rides, Jonah and Amber share a pretzel, which Cyrus points out is basically marriage at their age. Andi protests that Jonah is still in a relationship with Libby, but Cyrus and Buffy are unconvinced. They need a reason to believe this isn’t Jonah and Amber 2.0 and they want to know if Andi has that reason.

Meanwhile, after what certainly must have been several hours (enough for the kids to discuss going to the park, then go out to the park, ride all the rides, and eat pretzels and debate relationships), Bowie finally exits Red Rooster.

And he still hasn’t had time to put down the tiny guitar.

Bowie runs around shouting Morgan’s name and lazily looking around for her before finding Miranda nearby at some kind of pop-up swap meet. He apologizes profusely. He tells her he took his eyes off her for a second (that’s barely an exaggeration) and she disappeared. He’s been in a panic looking for her and he thinks they should call the police.

But then Morgan pops out of a clothes rack.

And Miranda laughs and high-fives her.

The two delight in thinking about how worried Bowie was. They get much joy from remembering the fear that was on his face just moments ago when he thought he'd been responsible for the disappearance and even, potentially, death of a small child. LOL. I guess it is pretty funny when you think about it.

Bowie asks Miranda if she knew about this and Miranda’s like, yeah, haha, she does this all the time.

Or basically, LOL, here’s another funny joke, Bowie. Remember when you said I should act like a parent? Well, nah.

Bowie is on the verge of tears and is mad for some reason Miranda doesn’t understand. He walks off. Morgan asks if they’re getting Bowie back, but Miranda, realizing that not everyone loves an emotionally traumatizing, surprise game of “Whoops I lost a child”, says no.

That night, Andi invites Cyrus and Buffy to Andi Shack to show them Jonah’s wish from the Moon Festival. She hands it to Cyrus, who opens it up and reads it.

No, the wish actually says he wishes his family could be happy again.

Andi says she thinks Jonah’s family might be having money problems. For example, he wouldn’t order food at The Spoon. Cyrus remembers that he didn’t want to go to Adrenaline City until Amber offered the free ticket. All the puzzle pieces start to fall into place.

They think this is why he’s been close to Amber. Because Amber also went through similar money troubles and he probably confided in her. Buffy feels bad for judging them.

They wonder if there’s something they could do. Andi says, for now, respect his privacy and not jump to conclusions.

That’s a mature way to handle it. That line of thinking lasts all of five seconds before Cyrus suggests they get involved somehow.

At Bex’s, Bowie tells Bex about his day. Bex mentions Miranda also came to see her and scared her. Bowie tells her to get Miranda out of her head. He thinks about how lucky he is to have all this: friends, family, hole.

He talks about how much he loves this and hopes it never changes. Bex agrees, but this also makes her think about some things.

The next day, the GHC come into Red Rooster to ask Bowie to hire Jonah at the store. Does Bowie have hiring power at Red Rooster? Or does he just own this place now? Where is the owner? Is this like a squatter’s rights situation?

Bowie apologizes. It’s a small business and they just don’t have the resources to bring on another employee.

Jonah emerges from the back and Bowie immediately spills everything.

He’s like, oh hey Jonah, sorry about not being able to give you the job you needed and that we were all just talking about. What? No I don’t think the kids were being weird and secretive a minute ago when they walked in here without you to ask for work on your behalf. Everything seemed normal to me.

Andi says they just wanted to help, and Jonah realizes they know he’s going through something.

Andi explains to Jonah that she found out about his issues because of the wish from the lantern.

Yeah, but it could also be that you upset the Moon Goddess by ruining Celia’s wall. Either one, really.

Jonah explains that sometime last year, his dad made an investment that went bad and a couple months ago, his parents had to declare bankruptcy and that’s when they finally told him about it. They lost their house and moved in with relatives.

He tries to remain positive even though it’s not easy. At least his family has a place to stay and they’re all still together.

Jonah feels like a weight is off his shoulders having told his friends about this.

Andi tells him he doesn’t have to keep secrets from them. That he can tell them stuff he thinks he can’t. Jonah’s like, I got it. No more secrets.

And then he makes another horrible poker face that screams: “Except for that other thing that I’m definitely keeping a secret from you guys.”

Outside of Cloud 10, Bex brings her big ol’ box of wedding invitations to Nicky the Mailman (no relation to Ricky the Suit Man) for shipping.

Nicky the Mailman admires Celia’s handiwork, then inadvertently “Mirandas” Bex by saying something to make her nervous about the wedding.

I wish he kept digging deeper. “I remember mailing invitations to the wedding with my first wife. Boy, that ended badly. Horrible, bitter divorce. Much like my second wife. You know they say third time’s the charm, but some mornings I look at my current wife and think ‘Buddy, not from where I’m sitting.’ Anyway, about these invites...”

Bex flips and takes back the invites and runs off.

The GHC, meanwhile, walk through the park. Cyrus does that thing where he doesn’t realize he’s holding his phone and looks for it, then he shows Andi and Buffy a piece of candy that mysteriously made its way into his pocket.

They spot Jonah and Amber across the way, sitting at a bench together. They all talk about how it’s great he has Amber to confide in and how silly it was that they thought they might actually be back together. Haha.

I mean, they were a truly toxic couple. Haha. Neither of them probably wants to reenter into a relationship like that. Haha. Anyway, it’s great that they’re friends now because they really--

Wuh oh.

As the episode ends, Andi has just one question.

Andi, how much time did you spend near the llama Buffy won at the amusement park? This could be a symptom of exposure to asbestos.

Well, I must say, having gotten to the end of the episode, I find myself shocked, appalled, and greatly disappointed by what’s happened here.

...

Where the hell was Gus?!

What monster added him to the IMDb listing for this episode?!

Show yourself, coward! How dare you get our hopes up like this!

I don’t even know if I can go on watching this show anymore! I’m so tired of betrayal! I’m so tired of--

Oh, TJ’s back next episode? Well okay then.

Same time next week, everybody!

[acidmatze]

In this together [1]

So.. I said I would maybe write some self-indulgent Dabi x Reader stuff and I did and because I love attention I will post it here now. There won’t be any specific update times or anything I just update when theres something to update. This is mainly stuff I wrote for myself to feel better but I figured that I want to share it. So suggestions are welcome. 

Since it’s intended as a pick me up there will be barely any plot nor will there be much angst. A bit might pop up here and there given the setting of the thing but it will be quickly resolved. Also due to the setting triggering themes might come up but I will tag them as such and also mark the passage in which they occur so you can read around them.

The setting basically is: You are currenly living in a rehabilitation facility since you got diagnosed with [Redacted]. You have settled in quite nicely and found some friends. However, due to some fights things haven’t been the same and you hope that the New Guy can change it.

And now the room next to yours was empty again. To the left of you, when standing inside your room facing the door. To the right was Izuku's room. Next to his Todoroki's. Opposite of yours Tsuyu's. You moved here three months ago and since then to the left of you was some guy you barely ever saw. Or heard. He moved out and you never learned a single thing about him. And tomorrow a new guy will move in, your group was told.

Your friend Twice, living on the above floor, knew him apparently. Said he was a great guy and all and just recently got out of jail. Drug dealing or something, nothing too horrible. Maybe also broke someone's jaw but that was some time ago already.

But now it was time for breakfast.

Tomura, a guy in your group who lived at the other end of the hallway was already in the kitchen and angrily stared at his plate Seems like he didn't sleep again. You on the other hand slept quite well. The weekend was spend by watching movies with Twice mostly.

Todoroki seemed awfully tense. During the morning assembly when the head of the clinic was talking about how your group gets a new “patient” tomorrow he winced on his chair. He also didn't say anything during breakfast. It was normal that he was somewhat withdrawn and silent but normally he would say what is bothering him. But nothing today.

He didn't appear to occupational therapy, only to tell the supervisor that he has a migraine and will be absent.

You absent-mindedly filed around on the piece of the tree trunk you wanted to paint a picture on. You got the idea from Kirishima who burned a picture into another tree trunk piece for the herb garden in the backyard of the rehabilitation facility.

But before you could start the actual drawing process you needed to get it smooth first. Which was boring. The last two times you were lucky enough to have Todoroki to chat with, who was glueing rhinestone pieces as a mosaic onto a small glass. He said he would later put a candle in it. Tokoyami walked in with lots of Acrylic paint tubes in his arms.  

“I was told you might need those soon. Gonna paint something?” You pointed at the tree stump. “Yeah as soon as its smooth. I wanna hang it on the wall of my room.”

Tokoyami nodded. “I like that aesthetic. It has a Victorian touch to it.” You had no idea if he just made this up or was right. And you had no reception here in the basement to look it up. So you just agreed. “Exactly. Victorian era inspired.”

Todoroki was absent during lunch too. One of the guys who only came here for the therapies and lived in his own apartment and Tomura got in a fight about Final Fantasy.

After ten minutes Tomura got up and walked in his room. He wanted to dramatically slam the door but its a fireproof one that closes on its own. Even if he would have wanted to slam it, shortly before closing it would have slowed down and then slowly fall shut. A few moments later you could hear him passive aggressively play Need for Speed Most Wanted. His cheap speakers made Disturbed sound horribly tinny.

If Twice was here he would have yelled at Tomura for being such a disgrace.

After lunch you helped in the kitchen instead of Todoroki. Tsuyu thanked you whole-heartedly since today more pots and pans were used to cook than usual. Which means more dishes. Which means less time to clean everything before the therapies started again.

Tsuyu had to be downstairs for occupational therapy and you had to go to the living room for social skills training.

Which was boring. And now as the day was ending you really started wondering how the new guy would be. The atmosphere got chilly over the last few weeks and many fights had broken out between the patients. Or occupants. Whatever someone would want to call them. You preferred to say Occupants.

Maybe someone new could bring some stability into this mess. You missed spending the evenings together in group 3's living-room. They had the biggest one so mostly you would sit there until midnight with some others watching movies or playing Playstation but after all those fights lately you never got a group together.

Kirishima's football group also got disbanded because of this. Normally, he and some others would meet every Wednesday and Friday after dinner and go to the football field down the block for a few hours. That was no more. Kirishima and Bakugou went alone now mostly.

It all had started after Izuku took over the storage room where the mineral water was kept. The girl who was in charge of it for literal years moved out and now that was Izuku's job.

He quickly noticed that bottles where disappearing. He gave out full crates to everyone but somehow almost never got full crates back. He talked about this one morning during assembly and that was how the fights started. Everyone accused the other one of stealing the bottles to exchange them for money at the local store. Bakugou even threatened to beat up Shinsou because he thought he was the one stealing them. So far it was still unclear what happened to the bottles. They were still disappearing but now slower than before.

And then he arrived.

You were sitting in one of the armchairs on your group's hallway and played around on your phone.

The main entrance door slammed shut. You expected someone to come back from a smoking break.

You heard Twice yelling something and someone answered.

“I'm not even in your group I just wanted to say hello and welcome to my bestest friend. Also I hate you! Please rot in hell forever.”

Yeah that was Twice, alright.

The glass door opened and in stepped Twice accompanied by a really tall lanky guy about your age, maybe a bit older in all black and a Korn T Shirt. He looked a bit intimidating with all the burn scars and stuff.

This was the new guy?

“Yo, Y/N! Say hi to my good pal Dabi!”

“Uhm.. hi”

You were still intimidated but nevertheless got up to shake his hand. He was in your group after all. And would live right next to you.

“How's it going? I'm Dabi.”

“Y/N”

“Cool.” “Yeah.”

You stared at each other for a few seconds.

Twice clapped his hands sarcastically.

“Wow what a great conversation you're having. You both suck!”

Dabi cleared his throat.

“Yeah... well.. Where can I put my shit? I get my own room, right?”

Twice pointed at you.

“Why don't you ask Y/N? Ah by the way, who is his buddy?” “My... what?”

It was time for you to explain the basics.

“A buddy. Like.. someone who shows you around and explains to you how stuff works here. Everyone has one for the first few days here.”

“Cool. Who's mine?”

You chewed on your lip. He will probably not like the answer.

“We couldn't find anyone, to be honest. But if you want I can show you around. First you should go and get your key though.”

Dabi sighed.

You led him down the hallway to the secretary's office.

She gave Dabi his keys and the schedule for this week.

“What's this for?” He pointed at the schedule.

“Well.. so you know when you have to be somewhere. Breakfast is at 8.15. If you're late someone will wake you and it's not pleasant. Then we go upstairs to the morning assembly. And it seems like you have nothing to do in the morning yet. But occupational therapy in the afternoon today. And tomorrow too.”    

Izuku walked past you two. Upon seeing Dabi he paled a bit and walked faster.

“Oh great, everyone's afraid of me. Have they never seen someone with scars before?”

After showing him the entire house you were happy to be back in your room. During the tour you ran into Kirishima who just stared at Dabi, Bakugou who wanted to kick him for some reason, Tomura who was in the living room and immediately slammed the door shut and Tokoyami who complimented his shirt.

You heard Dabi slamming his closet door and cursing under his breath.

You had no idea what to think about him. His voice was pleasant. Calming. Absolutely in stark contrast to his looks.

But he also was a head taller than you and looked like he could break a tree in half.

You noticed that it was weirdly silent outside. Normally the kitchen crew would be shuffling around, cooking and stuff. And Tsuyu was known for putting on some music while cooking. But you heard nothing. Maybe it was time to invenstigate.

[java-induced-daymares]

I feel like you get a different perspective when you were the 'mistake'. The 'oh my God she's only fifteen', baby. My mom was the preacher's daughter, and very eighties. I'm the preacher's granddaughter, and extremely nineties. My mom is more like my sister-friend, while my five year junior sister tells everyone I practically raised her. I just feel responsible for everyone. For everything. I was the tester baby. The starter grandchild. Everything I did wrong, it was the worst, most unexpected thing. I paved the way for all the shrugs and acceptance every sibling and other grandkid had doled out practically for free. And got slammed with all the guilt and the shunning.

To be fair I was quite rebellious. I smoked, drank, experimented with drugs. Skipped class, and barely passed high school despite aceing every test and final they threw at me. Scored a solid 29 on the ACT, didn't even study. In fact, I left half the math portion blank. I hate math. I frustrated my parents to wits end. I had all the potential, none of the ambition. I wanted to smoke pot, write whatever popped in my head and just make enough money to get by. So in idealistic youth I flipped the bird to college tuition debt in favor of entering the work force.

Somehow along the line I ended up thirty years old as a entry level temp at a factory. The disappointing burnout my parents painted me to be. My mom once threatened to paint that word on my bedroom wall, to call me out so to speak. She wasn't impressed when I encouraged her to. Between mom and me, it's all emotions. I know her as well as best friends do. Like...all of it. Sex life. Financial strife. The works. It's sort of like you don't realize your mom discussing your dad's porn addiction with you when your thirteen is out of line until you grow up. And meet her meth head boyfriend at age twenty four.

He threatens to rape and kill you both but good old mom won't kick him out because she loves him. Not when he starts stealing everything in sight to sell for drugs. Not when he kidnaps her for a few days over Thanksgiving and meths out in a paranoid freakout keeping her in the hotel and not letting her leave. Or when he choked her until she was unconscious. Or raped her so loud you could hear her scream but she denied it and her screams are so frequent that you're learning to tune them out and that disturbs you on every level. Not even when he hits you, right in front of her, the first time and she yells at you for fighting back. Or when she chases your little sister into another state to live with a internet boyfriend who no one but she has met because Ducky fears living in that house more than living with strangers.

My sister was only nineteen. The week before she left my mom called her a selfish bitch for not supporting her relationship. I stood between them, outraged, explaining to my mother that she shouldn't call her child a bitch for being scared. When the meth head finally leaves, having drained a cool 20k from my mom's retirement fund in meth and tools and a Harley ect... my mom claims all these memories are a blur. In her world she is the ultimate victim, and she even blames me for standing by and letting it all happen. My brother, who showed up two months before I finally convinced my mother to get the eviction notice she needed to get the meth head out, gets all the credit for his absence.

He showed up, did meth and herione with the boyfriend and ignored my mom. She still ran to my room, daily, begging and pleading for me and my fiances protection. Some days we would wake up to her huddled by our bed, crying silently, because my fiance was the only thing this asshole feared. Because Heinzy certainly didn't stand by when she or I was threatened or hit. But he wasn't always there. And his probation kept him from throwing a first punch.

Still, my brother, who dodged all the previous months of abuse by disowning her for cheating on her husband with this guy. My brother was living in South Dakota, and calling her a bitch and a whore until he needed a bail out and suddenly he's Mama's little boy again. He gets the title of hero. Savior. Showing up last second and fucking everything up, and being loved for it. That's my brothers modis operandi. And he can't even spell those words.

People flinch when I call my mom a crazy bitch. Glad for them, in their Hallmark homes. Judging me. I still love the woman to death. Would kill for her. Suffered untold horrors just to keep her safe. Yet I can't help but feel this loyalty is a bit one sided. All things considered. And besides. Bitches be crazy.

My dad is her polar opposite. I get my cynical, mean sense of humor from him. I call him a passive aggressive teddy bear. And I feel two sides of my dad. First there's the guy that worked twenty two hours a day to support his family. No, that's not a exaggeration. And shit jobs too. Barely making it, piss on you, fast food, menial shit. It's hard not to respect that. Plus he's never touched or condoned so much as a cigarette or more than two beers that I've ever seen. Getting the shit beat out of you by a druggie alcoholic does that to you. Once, Grandpa "Buddy" even used a horse whip to beat him. Him and grandma talked about the two years they did speed at a Chili's dinner.

But they're rich as hell. Or they were. So it didn't matter. Still doesn't, as far as their putrid minds are concerned. Buy I'm off topic. His evil as fuck adoptive parents aside... My dad's not too bad. He taught me to write DOS code when I was six. How to write a household budget in Microsoft Excel when I was twelve. How to set up a wireless network for a entire office when I was sixteen. Basically he prepared me for the real world. And all it's shitty points. And probably saved me some pain for the effort.

For example, dad tip 101: Don't lend out money and expect or need it back. Only lend what you can afford and be surprised if it's ever repaid. Good tip. Seriously. When I flunked classes and needed summer school, he made me get a job and pay it back. I hated him for it. But after I worked off over a grand in summer school debt at a Chinese hole in the wall restaurant with no working AC, I understood what a dollar was worth. Hence no slavery bond. I mean, as you call them, student loans. Been there. Done that.

But then there's the other side of him. The side that never really wanted kids. The side that accused me of knowing my mom cheated when I actually didn't. My next door neighbor, a herione addict who tagged along on my mom's Easter visit to my brother did. He was there as she stopped, both on the way to and the way from, to fuck the meth head. He didn't tell me. I woke up to my sister alone in the living room crying. Because she had never seen my dad cry before. Neither have I. The only time in known history and I missed it. Poor Ducky, she saw it all.

Sometimes I wish I could erase it all. The Divorce. It happened when I was twenty four, and I thought my parents had fallen into the age old 'i hate you but I'll be with you forever trap'. The fact that they both remarried a year after divorce proves I was either naively hopeful or utterly delusional. Considering the fact that I knew they made each other utterly miserable I have to side with the latter. I just wanted to believe they loved each other in secret. Hell, thanks to my mom I knew they fucked three times a week. I thought that meant something.

Maybe that's why I think sex is pretty meaningless and too important all at once. First off. I won't fuck anyone unless I really want to. Second off. I've only fucked one guy. It wasn't intentional, the one guy thing, it's just the first guy who earned my trust was the first guy I let have me and I fell in love and ten years later he's still never betrayed me. Ever. And he makes me feel like a kid. And we fight. And I hate him sometimes but we never go to bed angry. And I have no kids. I won't be my mother. I don't want her mistakes. I'm creating my own whole new ones. It's both my privledge and my goal to defy everyone's expectations of me, even to my own detriment.

Everyone thinks I aimed low. He even says stupid stuff like how he thinks I'll leave him for someone else. Sometimes. And maybe my mom helped that paranoia along. You see, pre meth head boyfriend divorce, I was pretty found of telling people my mom and I were best friends and so alike. Post fallout, those words came back to haunt me in a big way. I supported her when EVERYONE turned away. Her father. My siblings. They all said she deserved the meth head. They didn't get it. If I left her alone he was going to kill her. Literally. And they turned on me for 'supporting her behavior'.

Go fuck yourselves. I couldn't speak to you all in the moment, and afterward everyone wanted to brush this shit under the rug. But damn it. It fucking scared me. Excuse the fuck out of me for panicking. I was twenty four, sure, a adult by all measures and standards. People don't pity adults. My dad taught me that. Figure shit out and handle it. So I did. And I took zero credit. Letting my mom crown my brother king of all the land, her savior. So in the end I was nothing.

And I didn't say shit. Let my extended family think what they liked. Not in that exact intention. In my head I was like, this.famiky situation is so fucked and so nasty I couldn't bear to tell them. And that left me awkwardly over formal in responses. I should have guessed no one else in my family was that shy. They told all...of their bullshit. And I know that sounds so one sided.

If I were you, I wouldn't trust my perspective on the matter either. After all, perception is defined by experience, and my experience is sure to lead me to be self serving and exploitative. I don't pretend otherwise. This is simply how it felt to me. As I received notices from my pastor grandfather telling me I was living in sin because I hadn't married or gone to church regularly. First off. YOUR only daughter had three kids out of wedlock by three different men. Totally beating the odds here. Thanks. Secondly, and yes I said this, bet your ass I did, I have only had sex with one guy and I promised God he was the one. Law is not religion. All a wedding is, technically, is a profession of exclusivity with your partner before God. I did that. Proved it for ten years. Living in sin? How so? By what biblical standard? Handfasting was a accepted marriage ceremony, Heinzy and I have declared devotion before each other and all else hands held before. It counts. So what is I don't have the legal document? Judge not least ye be judged and all that.

As for church. Ah the constructrial artifice of faith devoid of all passion. Going to church with my grandparents is different. There's something about my grandpa being a pastor, people instantly recognize it and respond to it. I have never, not once, stood in church with my grandpa and not had ten people know someone he knew from congregation or teaching job (he was a private school teacher and even principal too). He doesn't get what it's like, poor as fuck, to show up for service and be mocked by so called Christians. How I disdain their fake pandering. I love God. His houses are often beautiful, the scent of fresh wood and the art of stained glass. But the people inside are ugly and don't reflect Him at all. They just want to puff up their own self worth and indulgence and I hate them for it. But maybe that's just Illinois Lutherans for you.

They ruined church for me. Haven't been since I was in my twenties and I turned thirty two whole weeks ago.

[silver-ninja-of-the-tides]

Silver and Gold 4--Not Just a Tournament

Chapter 11--Know Thine Enemy, But Know Thy Friend

Summary

Fractured once, then fractured again. Four of the heroes of Ninjago have hung up their ninja gear and vainly started anew. And they’ve convinced themselves that they’re not going back.

But as Lloyd and Janet try to piece their team back together, a mysterious invitation to a massive tournament tells them that Zane is alive.

Bonds will be tested. Suspicions of everything they know and don’t know will arise. It all goes down at the Tournament of Elements.

(First chapter)

Janet’s POV

Well. Dinner was nice, despite the man who runs this whole island. But at least we had a good time. For now.

Now we just have to find a way to get some answers. And speaking of answers . . .

“Garmadon?”

He looked to me.

“Remember that conversation we had with Wu about the First Spinjitzu Master talking to me?”

“Ah. You’re wondering if we ever found an answer.”

“Have you?”

“Mmh well—”

“What’s going on over there?” Cole asked. We were all on the second floor, and his attention was on the crowd of competitors that had gathered around the leader boards.

“Didn’t he say that was it for the day?” Des asked.

“Yeah . . . he did,” I said, narrowing my eyes. We turned around and walked back down the stairs, and the closer we got, the more we could tell how eager the murmurs were.

“What’s all the commotion?” Jay asked as we made our way through. Finally at the front, we all gasped at who was in this surprise round.

“No . . . He can’t do this!” Cole objected.

“He already did,” Lloyd said, and my sister and I exchanged worried looks.

Cole looked to Jay. “We gotta fight . . . each other!”

“Ugh. Why does it say I have to fight Cole?” Jay complained. “It didn’t say that before! I’m not ready to fight! It was supposed to be my day off.”

“I tried to warn ya but you never listen! Talk, yes. Listen, not so much.”

“Guys,” I warned.

“Is there a problem, Ninjas?” Clouse asked as the other competitors were walking off.

“You cheated!” Cole accused. “You changed the brackets!”

“Oopsie.”

“Whaddowe do?” Lloyd asked as Clouse and the accompanying thug walked away. “They can’t fight each other! We came here to become whole, not fall further apart!”

“You can’t undo what’s been done,” Garmadon said. “My only advice is to be at peace with it.”

“Peace?!” Jay snapped. “One of us has to lose! Oh my gosh. It’s totally gonna be me! He’s got super strength, and whaddo I have? Quick, tell me! What do I have?!”

“Don’t listen to my dad,” Lloyd argued. “We find Zane then none of us have to battle. Your fight isn’t until tonight so we still have time to figure out what Chen’s up to, and stop this.”

“I think I know just the person who can help,” Kai said. “And I think he already knows.”

We followed Kai out of the room and out to a courtyard where the other Elemental Masters were. He scanned the area for Neuro before leading us over to him meditating. Oh boy . . .

“We need your help, Neuro,” Lloyd said.

“You think I can get close to Chen to read his mind, so you can find your robotic friend and not have to fight,” the Master of Mind said.

Wow. He’s good.

“Don’t forget—”

“You still need to know what Chen’s up to because he’s hiding something,” he continued, cutting Kai off. Okay he’s really good.

“That’s really impressive, Nerdo,” Jay complimented.

“It’s Neuro, Master of the Mind, and Cole thinks Jay won’t last long in a fight.”

“Pfft. You think that?”

“Well you just said it yourself!” Cole accused.

“But you didn’t have to believe it!”

“Don’t be offended, Cole,” Neuro went on. “Jay here thinks you’re the least valuable Ninja.” Did he just—

“Ya don’t say?” Cole sneered. Instantly that set them off.

“We wanted you to help, Neuro,” Lloyd stated. “Not make things worse.”

“But why would I help?” Neuro said. “You’re competition. The sooner you’re out, the better for me.”

“If you want what’s best for you, just look into my head and you’ll see what this tournament is all about.”

Neuro focused on Lloyd for a few moments before a look of concern crossed over his face.

“It’s only a matter of time before Chen steals your power, too. So, are you in?”

Zane’s POV

No matter what I did, I still could not break free from my restraints. There must be some way out of this . . .

“Zane, you’re built differently,” Pixal explained. “You have to search deep within yourself.”

Deep within myself . . .

I began to scan through my new and not-so-new functions before deciding on opening a compartment near my wrist, activating a spinning shuriken.

“Yes! That’s it! You’re remembering!”

I heard voices coming from outside, and I soon detected that they were coming closer. I frantically looked from the door to the shuriken, and I quickly deactivated it before feigning unconsciousness.

“Huh. Eh I guess I was just hearin’ things,” a man said from outside. “C’mon, let’s go.”

I waited for their footfalls to fade out before opening my eyes.

“It’s not safe,” Pixal cautioned. “I suggest you break out when everyone’s at the big fight.”

“You mean, we must break out.”

“Yes . . . Of course.”

3rd person POV

The dreaded arrival of the fight was upon them, and still the Ninjas had not found a way out of the match that pit Cole and Jay against each other. So while the boys set off to prepare for the inevitable, Garmadon and the girls took for the stands.

“I don’t believe this,” Destiny grumbled. “I don’t believe any of this. Next thing you know Chen’s going to pit me against my sister.”

“Careful with those words, Destiny,” Garmadon warned.

“I know I know. It just infuriates me that this guy can do anything he wants while we have to be passive about it.”

“I don’t like it, either, Des, but it’s what’s gonna happen,” Janet said. “And no matter what, we have to see this through.”

The trio climbed the steps to the loud stands and found their seats, which overlooked the circular arena that was decorated with red lanterns and the Anacondrai symbol. And at the top of a pole in the center was a Jadeblade. From the stands, they could spot Cole and Jay warming up aggressively.

Kai then spotted Neuro running up to him. “You’re cutting it close. So what did you see into his head?”

“I’m sorry,” Neuro admitted. “I couldn’t get past Clouse.”

“Good. Then we can finally put our feud to rest,” Jay spat. “Gladiator style!”

“But I did see something. For a brief moment, I saw inside Clouse’s mind. The powers he’s collecting--they’re for a spell.”

“A spell for what?” Kai asked.

“I don’t know, but it’s in his spell book, on page 149. I’m sorry it’s not enough to stop the fight. I wish I could’ve done more.”

“That’s okay. You’ve done what you could.” Disappointed, Kai shook his head in Lloyd’s direction.

“You don’t have to say it,” Cole said, preventing Lloyd from speaking. “It was inevitable we were gonna have to face each other. It may as well be Jay. This fight’s been a long time comin’.”

“Well I’m not at peace with this,” Lloyd said. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t still find peace with each other. We don’t have control when we fight, but we do have control how we fight. Jay’s not your enemy. Chen is. Remember that.”

“Wu once said the best way to defeat your enemy is to make ‘em your friend. But how are you supposed to defeat your friend?”

Cole’s POV

Lloyd backed away from the door as the bars lowered, and I raised my mask as a fanfare rang out.

“Let the Tournament continue!” Chen announced once Lloyd cleared out. “Jay, Master of Lightning, versus Cole, Master of—”

Let’s just get this over with.

I flipped over a stream of lightning and pounded at the ground, sending a wave of rocks speeding toward Jay.

And he flipped back with a laugh. “That’s all you got? Least valuable Ninja!”

“Eat dirt, Bluebell!” I shouted. I hurled a wave of rocks at him that he evaded, and I used the earth to block a shot from Jay. Oh he doesn’t know what he’s up against.

Zane’s POV

With everyone at the fight, I was able to cut through the chains. Now all I had to do was free Pixal, escape this prison, and find my friends.

“Hurry, Zane! Before they come back!” Pixal urged.

After a few more moments I was finally able to cut through the bars and enter the room she was being held in. “I’m through. Now let’s get out of here.”

Instead of Pixal, all I saw was pieces of scrap.

And one of her arms.

“Pixal . . . You’re . . . you’re—”

“Scrapped. I know. But I couldn’t tell you. Not when you needed to get out of here. Sadly, this is where my journey ends.”

Even though she could not feel my hand, I held hers.

“But not for you. Zane you must go alone. Find your friends, stop Chen; I know you have it in you. And don’t worry about me.”

Both of us pressed a hand to the screen. It was cool to the touch, but it wasn’t her I was feeling.

“I will always be a part of you.”

I glanced to a neural drive flickering with every word she spoke. Maybe there is another way . . . “You’re right. You will . . . always be a part of me.”

"Zane! What are you--"

Before she could finish her sentence, I removed the drive and inserted it into my system, and it only took a few moments for her to appear within my system. It may not be her entirely, but at least I have one part of her.

“Zane! You’ve taken my neural drive and imputed it into your processor! You’re ingenious!”

“Not ingenious. Upgraded. I’m sure there’ll be other surprises about me we’ll find out together. But until then, let’s both get out—”

An alarm suddenly went off within my system, and Pixal began to warn me.

“Zane! Behind you! Initiate evasi-i-i—”

Before I was shut down, I was able to see a man whose dark hair was tied back, and he wore a sinister grin.

Cole’s POV

Jay and I pushed against one another with our powers, but soon he was the one that began to overpower me.

“Stronger than you thought, ey?” Jay spat. “That’s your betrayal flowing through my veins!”

“I’m lookin’ forward to the peace and quiet when you’re out of the tournament!” I snapped.

With a burst of strength I knocked Jay to the floor, and he dazedly raised his head as the crowd went wild.

I . . . I almost hurt him. This isn’t right . . .

“Ugh, what are we doing? I don’t want you out! You’re not my enemy. Chen is!”

“Ohhh sure,” Jay grunted as he pushed himself up. “Lower my guard by pretending to be my friend, then swoop in to steal the prize!” His hands summoned two streams of lightning that he was ready to fire. “Typical Cole maneuver!”

“I never meant to hurt you, Jay. If I knew it would destroy our friendship, I’d take it all back.”

His eyebrows furrowed, and he stopped stalking toward me. “Well, if we’re being honest, I was upset about losing Nya but . . . I take blame for that. I was more upset about losing you. We used to be good friends!”

“The best, right? We should’ve been honest with each other instead of bottling this up.”

“Agreed. But how are we supposed to stop fighting? We can’t both win!”

“Well, maybe we can draw it out ‘til they call it a tie. Quick, attack me, but not hard.”

The both of us charged at each other before missing most of our “hits,” causing some people in the crowd to boo us. But, y’know, Jay did make a few close calls.

“Release the Condrai Crushers!” Chen shouted. Both of us looked to the red doors swinging open to let four of the said vehicles loose on us, and each of them began to circle us.

“I got your back!” I said.

“And I’ve got yours!” Jay replied.

“Ninjaaa-GO!” We performed Spinjitzu as we darted out of the way of a crusher, and he crashed right into the wall. Hah! How’s that?

I bolted right into the path of another one before jumping up and pounding my fists into the ground. The crusher was jerked into the air by a ramp made by yours truly, and I caught the tail before throwing the crusher into a third one.

The last one jerked itself around to head in my direction, and Jay leapt up, landed behind the driver’s seat, and shocked the driver until the crusher came to a complete standstill. The blades stopped just inches away from me, but I knew Jay had me covered.

The crowd cheered as we stood victorious in the face of Chen’s challenge, but the man wasn’t having any of it.

“Enough!” he barked. “I know what you are trying to do. If neither of you will win, then both of you will lose!” He furiously began pressing buttons, and with every button press a piece of the floor dropped into a seemingly endless pit.

Instantly we leapt from one tile to the other to keep from falling. But eventually we were both gonna run out of floor.

“We can’t both lose! Chen’s right! There can only be one!” I said.

“Then it should be you!” Jay exclaimed. “You and I know I’m lucky to have even made it this far! You take the Jadeblade!”

I whirled around and jumped my way to the pole before scaling it. Upon grasping the hilt, I was tempted to claim the weapon as my own.

But it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.

Without a second thought I threw the blade to Jay, and the instant he caught it Chen declared him the winner.

“Loser! Master of Lightning moves on,” the man said.

“She’s yours, Jay. I should’ve bowed out long ago. Win this thing.”

Like everyone else, I was sent down below for Chen to steal my powers. Jay’s got this. They all do. And if they don’t, then Chen wins it all.

Nya’s POV

“Anything on your end?” I asked as I drove through the Outlands.

“Not a single thing,” Ryan replied through the speakers. “They may be Ninjas, but I know that even they can’t vanish into thin air. They have to be around here somewhere."

All of a sudden, a familiar bird passed into view, and I lowered my binoculars.

“Why did you call me here?” I asked, only for it to call once in reply.

When I faced the map of Ninjago, I pressed a button to scan the area for any sign, big or small, of the Ninjas. The scan then flew far beyond the borders of Ninjago and locked onto a small island.

“Zane’s beacon . . . coming from somewhere off the coast! But that’s impossible.” Immediately I contacted the others. “Sensei Wu, come in! This is Nya. Do you read? I think I may have found the Ninjas.”

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