#and someone also pointed out that the way people talk about astarion is very similar to how caz talks about him

[bhaalsdeepbat]

sometimes when people describe astarion as pathetic, they'll list all his more feminine characteristics rather than like

it's fucking pathetic of him to be mad if you save the gnomes, even if you understand why he disapproves it. It's still fucking pathetic. he's also extremely pathetic when he ascends and starts becoming more like Caz, but it's bc it's pathetic that the power goes to his head like that simply bc he would rather insulate himself with power than allow himself to face his past and overcome it.

not because he deserves nice things and finery.

[meanbossart]

What is it about Astarion that DU Drow fell for? Which traits/habits/quirks/whatever were the ones that he first noticed/piqued his interest?

Oh boy, I mean, at first DU Drow didn't care for Astarion at all. He was extremely on edge around all of these people and Astarion's rather invasive strategy only put him off further - his insight checks may be awful, but he can still tell when someone is trying to suck up to him a little too hard. DU drow thought he was attractive, of course (see.: the narrator's comment about the quote-on-quote pretty corpse) but otherwise didn't think very much of, or very highly of him.

Once he got his confidence back, and after Astarion caught onto the fact that he needed to play hard to get to string him along, there would have been a little while where DU drow only saw him in the context of a trophy or conquest - but admittedly, he also thought Astarion was funny, and he thought he was smart - even someone as dense as him could see that the guy had read him perfectly, and proceeded to adapt as necessary to get what he wanted out of him - and DU drow fell right into it, willingly so. There would have been some mutual respect there between them from understanding each other's games.

Their ritual of letting Astarion bite him definitely planted a little seed of something too. I've talked about it plenty of times so I won't dwell on it, but DU drow enjoys the intimacy implied in allowing someone to hurt him. This was far from an emotional turning point in the relationship, but it did prompt him to start seeing Astarion differently (not better or worse - just differently.)

(I'm a little drunk and went on and on, enjoy LOL)

Then, after one or two intimate encounters, the Urge would have started taking too much of a toll - violent lust turned into lustful violence, and hence DU drow didn't want to have sex anymore out of a fear of losing control during the act; yet, he had learned to trust Astarion by then and would seek out his comfort and companionship all the same. Faced with the situation where sex is no longer an option, I imagine Astarion would have been caught off guard and let the mask slip more often than usual. Pair that with the fact that DU Drow is a surprisingly affectionate (in private) but highly withdrawn person, left him in the role of leading their exchanges. Astarion, I think, would have felt the need to talk; if for no other reason but to fill the air whenever they were alone together. Eventually DU Drow would have started talking back.

These were long nights of just looking up at the sky and going through things that happened that day, what led them here, what the companions are doing, talking shit about whats-his-or-her-name, often just straight up gossip. Astarion eventually realized he could say whatever he damn pleased in front of DU Drow and nothing seemed to phase him, and vice-versa. DU drow enjoyed his bluntness, his earnest impulsivity that matched his own, he laughed at his jokes (as well as some things that weren't meant as jokes) he enjoyed his teasing and his reactions when he said something putrid in return, he liked the way he smelled when he was clean and he liked his stink when he was filthy, he watched him fidget with his own clothes and hair until Astarion gave him a weird look and aggressively asked what he was staring at. He enjoyed when Astarion got angry at something he said, because it felt very genuine - and he didn't use to think of him as a very genuine person.

Astarion was the first to notice something was wrong with him - so DU drow felt comfortable talking about it openly. On the other hand, DU drow never pressed Astarion about his past unprompted - instead just letting him talk about it if he so wished and without trying to milk it for more details when he did choose to do so. Because they spoke a similar language of violence and operated under the same hedonist-based beliefs, it was easy to talk to each other even when there was friction between them - similarly, they were both always willing to move past and quickly "forget" when someone said something truly hurtful.

I don't know if there was a key moment where he realized this had turned into love; that was probably a word DU Drow dropped quite unabashedly sometime after they got to Baldur's Gate, and before they faced-off with Cazador (to no reciprocation or acknowledgment then, not that he minded). But sometime during act 3, DU drow simply assumed that after this was all over they would still stick together.

[dmbakura]

OK so I want to stress that this is NOT a slight against OP of this post or how they feel about the way the game presents certain options, but I've seen sentiments like this before and I feel like people still aren't quite grasping WHY the game doesn't allow the option to do a "slow burn romance where you can show him you truly care about him beyond sex" if you ascend him. So I wanted to take the opportunity to talk about Astarion's route and objectification, and the very intentional limitations of player choice regarding the ascension path.

Objectification is the act of degrading someone to the status of a mere object. It often involves a sexual component, but not necessarily. It's reducing someone to being a tool or toy, as if they have no feelings/opinions/autonomy of their own. In Astarion's case, his objectification is very much tied to his sexuality, but also his own views on power and control, and how that reflects on both him and his romantic partner.

I think people get too fixated on Welch's quote "it's reducing your relationship with him back to being a kink/form of gratification... it's very much admitting you failed to think of him beyond a sex object" and take this as commentary or judgment on the players choices, when it isn't actually that. It's quite literally the story that is baked into the route and Astarion's character as a whole. There are obviously reasons to ascend him that have nothing to do with how you personally feel about him as a character, ie you want stats, you think it's just more fun, or interesting, or you like the tragedy, etc but in regards to the story itself? It's actually more commentary on how Astarion views himself more than anything else. He is an intentional subversion of the seductive vampire trope. You cannot engage with his story without interacting with this aspect of his character.

Even if you had a dialogue option to try and initiate a romance with him without that first night of sex, Astarion wouldn't take it. If you had a dialogue option to "show him you cared and want to protect him" he would either scoff at it or get angry, as he does if you try and express similar sentiments about protecting him from Cazador. He doesn't want to be coddled. He doesn't trust mindless heroism or altruism. He initiates sex because he uses it as a tool for manipulation and insurance of his own safety. You can either play into that manipulation or don't (and he seems to respect you more if you don't, which says a lot about his self worth). You can't initiate a slow burn romance because Astarion is so distrustful of EVERYONE and has no ability to conceptualize genuine care at this point in the game due to his mistreatment as a vampire spawn. This is an incredibly important aspect to his character and to change the foundation of this is to rewrite his character entirely.

(There is ONE exception to this: Karlach. Karlach is the only character that can initiate more of a slowburn with Astarion and won't sleep with him the first night because she quite literally, physically can't. And Astarion doesn't immediately accept this either. He belittles Karlach, to the point of calling her frigid and basically defective, wondering if he's wasting his time, before she chews him out for being an asshole. Again, he has no idea how to approach a relationship without using sex as a transaction and it shows. He only goes along with it because he quite literally cannot do his normal routine. This is the only reason he won't start a relationship with Karlach using sex.)

So anyways, that choice at the start? The way Astarion's romance initiates on the first night? It intentionally parallels the way ascended!Astarion will offer you an ultimatum: become his spawn or leave him. At the start of the game, Astarion intentionally plays into the sexy vampire trope to get what he wants, is highly paranoid, afraid and distrustful of everyone. At the end of the game in the ascended route... he's intentionally playing into the sexy vampire trope, is highly paranoid, afraid and distrustful of everyone, only this time he has power to back him up. Nothing about his views has been fundamentally challenged if you ascend him; he's completely validated in his beliefs about power and control and entirely in the mindset that he has no value without becoming the ascendant.

It's not about whether you personally find him sexy or not. It's not about having sex at this point. It's not about you or your character. Astarion objectifies himself, fully playing the only hand he knows (as he himself puts it) because that is all he knows how to do. In the ascended path, he has been shown no other option. Your character, good intentions or not, has not given him the tools to see himself as anything else. There is no way too make himself see himself as anything else, except by not ascending him! Either you let this man degrade you as he degrades himself, or don't. That is the option provided, and anything otherwise wouldn't make sense without rewriting his character completely.

Do you value what he actually wants (freedom) or do you value what he says he wants (power, because he views it as the only way to get that freedom)? To me the game makes it obvious (ESPECIALLY with the newly added epilogue) that walking in the sun again or gaining the power of the vampire ascendant aren't the keys to Astarion's happiness. Stuff like that, while nice, doesn't magically grant him peace and it's not a substitute for character growth and self reflection. It honestly just feels like people want the personality and development of spawn Astarion but in the ascended Astarion path, which doesn't make any sense with the way the story unfolds.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that objectification can be more than just seeing someone as a sex object, and doesn't necessarily have to do with sex itself. It can tie into views about power and degradation and a lack of self respect. Furthermore, it's not the game telling you you're a bad person or some sex addled freak if you ascend him, it's asking you to engage with what Astarion's personal story can say about sexuality, cycles of abuse, trauma and recovery - for better or worse.

[pythoria]

In light of the new astarion voice lines in reaction to mizora, I think we finally need to put to rest the whole monogamous vs polyam astarion discourse. Here's the thing. Polyamory is never explicitly discussed or negotiated at any point during the astarion romance. You get individual instances of astarion being okay with various things, like a one night stand with the drows or halsin. It's unclear in the coversation about halsin if he's agreeing to a one night stand or a three-way relationship deal, he just gives you a general go ahead to do whatever you want with halsin because he trusts you. But then halsin doesn't stick around at the end of the game, and by the time he leaves he's only ever been with astarion in the context of the drow orgy (which is optional), and only sexually. Halsin is only interested romantically in the player char from what we're shown. Everyone is free to headcanon otherwise or write whatever fics they want, but as long as we're arguing about canon we have to be very specific. Nothing about any of the conversations with astarion suggest polyamory. They might have suggested a sort of open relationship situation before, but now with mizora, we have proof that there was no negotiation or blanket consent given off screen for having sex with other people, and in fact, it hurts astarion deeply to see his partner engage in sex with someone else.

Now, you can argue it's because he didn't consent to it beforehand, fair enough. Let's walk through what that conversation could've looked like, shall we? If you'd have asked him if you can sleep with mizora, he could've either said yes or no, it's pretty straightforward. From how upset he is, and the fact that he doesn't bring up you not getting his approval beforehand, we can infer his answer would've been "no" (because if he would've said yes anyway, you would get the type of reaction you get with ascended astarion, a "next time invite me" type response). So then, why would astarion say no to mizora specifically, if asked? After all, he's presumably okay with meaningless sex, even when he's not involved, because he lets you sleep with one of the drows all by yourself. And presumably he's also okay with it when feelings are involved, if he's truly okay with the halsin arrangement. So what part of sleeping with mizora is different? Why would he suddenly disagree with it if he was previously okay with similar arrangements?

Here's the thing. Astarion says yes to things out of pressure. Obviously he tells you so himself in act 2, "i didn't know how to say no", and that's corroborated by his dead expression during the drow 4/5some. He says yes to things, hates them, and then depending on how violated he feels afterwards, he decides whether or not it's a forgivable transgression on the part of his partner. He HAS to do it after the fact, because prior to it, he doesn't know how he will feel, he doesn't know if something specific is going to be the thing that tips him over. When he says "i didn't know how to say no" in act 2, it's not just that he instantly knew he didn't want to have sex with tav and went along anyway, it's also that he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, and maybe mistakenly believed he could put up with it, until he actually did it. With the drows, the only difference is that he does put up with it, by dissociating. For astarion, something is either too much, or something he can tune out and deal with. He never expresses any "mild" discomfort that you can talk to him about, except for when he's anxious you want to have sex with halsin because he doesn't put out. And even then, there's nothing you can say that will make him disapprove of the halsin thing, short of completely breaking up with him. He voices an insecurity, sure, but even when told that insecurity is legitimate, he still agrees to the halsin situation.

This is why I need everyone to understand, there is no polyam negotiation with astarion, he blanket accepts everything until he snaps, because that's what trauma victims do. I'm not saying this out of a desire to prove astarion is monogamous, either. If the game showed healthy communication about this I wouldn't be here arguing about any of this. Polyamory is valid and can be done in a healthy way, but what you have in the game is not a representation of polyamory, it's a representation of a trauma victim not knowing his own limits and chugging full speed ahead until he snaps. The mizora exchange just cements that further. The roll you have to pass to get him to stay with you isn't "let's discuss boundaries, i didn't know this wasn't allowed", it's "this didn't mean anything". If this man was already okay with meaningless sex on the side, why would you need to convince him of it? All you're doing is manipulating him, and the result of that manipulation isn't even "okay, you can have meaningless sex from now on as long as we talk beforehand", instead, he says he forgives you. There's no implication that this could happen again, if only you have his consent, he just forgives you for this one transgression and agrees to move on. And let me be perfectly clear, I've shipped polyam ships before, I don't have an inherent bias against it. But we all, collectively as a fandom, need to learn to read the room. The signs of discomfort are all there, it doesn't help anyone if we put on horse blinders and ignore them. My only desire is to see astarion interpreted faithfully, not to start or contribute to a war people seem to be having about the validity of polyamory in general or in real life.

So, in conclusion, we need to separate headcanons from canon. Canon is, at best, unclear on what Astarion is comfortable with. It helps no one to act like this is a clear cut issue on either side, but imo it's more harmful to potentially force him into situations he's uncomfortable with than to just let him lead, since he doesn't propose any of these arrangements himself, and never does them for his benefit, only his partner's.

And one last thing. This is not to say "don't do these things because they're bad". They're in the game so you can do them and roleplay however you want. However, we need to be realistic about the kind of characters we're playing. If your tav pressures astarion into these various situations, that's not a good-aligned tav, and that's okay, as long as you're not pretending otherwise. I love an evil durge playthrough as much as the next person, but none of it would be cathartic or fun if the whole time I was under the impression that murder is actually fine and good.

[alpaca-clouds]

Let me use Astarion as an excuse to talk about CPTSD

You know what? I think this might be a good moment to talk about CPTSD and how Astarion really is a textbook example of someone with CPTSD (though it is very likely that basically our entire main cast of characters in BG3 is suffering from it to some degree, they just are less textbook in their presentation).

Let me start with a simple question: What is CPTSD?

CPTSD is the shortened version of Complex PTSD, or rather Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. So, to dumb it down: It is like CPTSD, but it sucks a lot more.

While normally PTSD is caused by one traumatic event (like having a car accident, seeing a loved one die, being subjected to random violence at some point), while CPTSD is caused by a traumatic situation that goes on for a while or repeats several times. In the western world, we see a lot of CPTSD in survivors of parental abuse or intimate partner abuse. Aka, traumatic situations that went on for a longer while. You will also find CPTSD in some people from marginalized groups, as the traumatic situation of discrimination is constantly repeating. And of course you will find it in survivors of war or similar ongoing events.

PTSD will often lead to having triggers related to the trauma, showing avoidance behavior towards possibly triggering situations. It might also lead to flashbacks, nightmares, and a raised awareness/carefulness, often especially regarding relations with other people (though this might depend on the traumatic event it stems from).

CPTSD will have all of that, but often in more complex ways (as a longer experience will allow for complex triggers to develop - and a lot more situa´tions to become triggers as well), but it will also lead to a difficulty to regulate emotions, a general mistrust towards other people, inability to have healthy relationships, prolonged moments of dissociations, a generally negative perception of the world and events, feelings of worthlessness and internalized shame.

It should also be noted that in many cases the symptoms of CPTSD only start showing, once the traumatized person is removed from the traumatizing situation.

Neurally the reason for CPTSD is basically, that the nervous system is put into a prolonged survival mode. Which is also why the symptoms often trigger after the survivor is removed trauma inducing situation.

And, oh look, it is Astarion lol

Looking at the character from this perspetive, you really see pretty much all the symptoms in him.

Does he struggle with regulating his emotions? Fuck yeah, he does. He tries to regulate them, but he very often fails at it.

Does he get triggered by some situations? Yeah, it does. (You get that especially when you play his origin.)

He is super mistrustful towards other people - which is also why he does not intermingle with other people that much.

His view of most things as negative is also fairly clear - I also would argue that his "let's kill some puppies and kittens" behavior is also very closely connected to this.

And that he struggles with feelings of worthlessness and shame is again something that is found in the text.

He really is a very textbook example of CPTSD, which also brings me back to what I already talked about this week: Both CPTSD and PTSD will permanently change the nervous system. Which as far as we know will never quite go away. (Like, not to be a nerd, but there has been some recent research, that has shown that certain medication might permanently eleviate some symptoms - but not heal it totally.) It is basically scars from a nervous injury, if you wanna think of it like that.

You can however learn to live with the symptoms and learn techniques to regulate them. If you have read any of my Tavstarion stories (like this one), I bring some of those techniques into that. Stuff like breathing techniques or techniques to get your brain out of a flashback spiral (like consciously perceiving your surroundings). But to learn to deal with it, you also need to confront the trauma, which is probably the hardest thing to get Astarion to do, because he seems to be very avoidant. Like, his entire "I need to ascend" thingie is all avoidant behavior. Basically, he wants all that power that comes with ascending to prevent him from ever ending up in a situation that would be in any way similar to his trauma again.

But even if he does not ascend, there is a good chance he will still show a lot of avoidant behavior in the future.

When I write him, there is a reason that I do not have him leave home for a good seven months outside of what he has to do (like feeding). Which is very typical avoidant behavior.

The thing is that often trauma and especially CPTSD is not always the very big reactions - though those might be there too - but a lot of those more muted things. Avoiding going outside. Avoiding new situations. Being just a bit anxious. Feeling that nice things are done with bad intentions. Things like that.

Just, you know... A heads up.

[ohsayit]

Astarion had a quick chat with my Dark Urge

Hi, it's me again. [Anson approaches with her rambling gibberish again]

Here is the conversation initiated by Astarion (the ! abvoe his head screamed at me to go talk to him)

(Note: Possibly you can find a video of the same dialogue choices on youtube or something. The performance adds a lot to it.)

His reply to DU's first line was sort of playful snarky as per usual. Therefore one of the dialogue options for DU's second line was a pouty one. "if you are not taking this seriously I am not talking to you." of some sort. For role play reasons, my DU went with the "possessive urge deep inside me" option.

Then A's line slightly shifted from "Oh tell me about it. I guess I will sit through this conversation for my own safety" to "Aww you poor thing. Let's use it to the fullest."

At first I thought he resonated with the "possessive voice in the head" part. At this point, DU already murdered the bard at night right at the camp and she didn't know if she really did it (though all the evidence suggested she did). So very likely, she did it under the influence of the voice inside her. That is sort of similar to compulsion from his vampire lord. Could he be showing empathy for a valuable ally?

But the last line changed my mind. If he considered DU's murderous tendency was from the voice, then he wouldn't put it as DU's "nature".

My guess is, he thinks DU has some terribly strong instincts that are consuming.

Our man is impulsive. I can see him making decisions and doing things on a whim. However, if a certain urge gets consuming, then he wouldn't like it. I see a strong sense of self there. Although he basically put that on display everyday. lol It pops out to me in a surprising way.

The "advice" he gives is pretty much what he lives up to himself: play it for all it's worth.

Our boy has the strongest intention to survive out of the entire group I think lol. Whatever shit hand he is dealt, he tries to play it for all it's worth. ("I am not going to die. YOU are going to die instead, bitch!" energy lol) I don't think the whole mindflayer business would exist even in his wildest dreams, but he does use it to it's fullest. Secured himself some allies and get all the aid he could to finish off both Caz and then control from the Brain.

He is also very true to one's nature as well. He seems to have zero problem with someone being innately murderous. His problem is when it becomes overwhelming and consuming.

Now we are (finally) at the end bit of this gibberish of an observation for our babe:

Dude has a strong sense of self

Is less impulsive/emtional than he sometimes looks

He possibly has 10 times Gale's survival will (the version of Gale when we first met especially)

He may take pity on people, under specific circumstances

If Halsin embraces "nature's gifts", our dude embraces "nature in one's soul"

This conversation from the game and conversations I see on the internet, sometimes looks like a "nature vs nurture" thing to me. This is a hot topic for parenting; however, it also applies to adult-to-adult relationship (somehow?).

The one thing I constantly think about is that, what do we see in him? How is it so different for everyone? Do we see ourselves or him? What's the proportion? I am slowly figuring out what part of myself I see in him.

[sorcerous-caress]

How does Sol get along with their companions/ what do the companions think about them? 👀 If you don’t mind talking about it!

I re-attach wings to angels each time someone asks me about Sol <3 don't worry about the abundance of wingless angels it's unrelated.

This was written assuming Sol is not Tav and is just another companion. Also it's...mostly negtive, Sol isn't easy to get along with, and they don't make it easy for others to like them.

Sol with the companions

Astarion

Act 1: they start indifferent to him. They're not the brightest when it comes to people lying, so his horrible acting and shady backstory flies over their head. During the vampire reveal, they try to pretend that they knew all along. You can pass an insight dice check of 5 to very easily tell they didn't know shit.

The only thing they bond over is being vain. He mentions not seeing his own reflection and they're concerned about how he does his eyebrows then. He fully agrees that it is a struggle and don't get him started on the mess that is styling his own hair.

He'd probably approve of the fact they sacrifice defence and movement for beauty, the whole pain is beauty thing. Honestly both of them are bad influences on each others and just enablers when it comes to bad habits.

I mean he could try to talk them into letting him bite them, if he convinced them that it'd make their skin clearer, it's a 50/50 chance if it'd work or he ends up microwaved.

Act 2: You know how people in cults don't realise they're in one? Sol didn't think their upbringing was that bad or what their family did was that extreme until Astarion started talking about what Cazador did to him and how he loathes him for it, how much he wants revenge. It made Sol think if they too should be seeking revenge, if they too should be loathinh their family. They go from indifferent to curious.

Act 3: they haven't made up their own mind on whether it's a good idea for him to seize the power from Cazador or not. By that point they also need to make a similar choice about their magic, but instead of remaining the way the are like Astarion, they need to pick between losing it all or taking it all. They've grown fond of him by that point as a friend, he points out when someone is clearly lying or manipulating them and they appreciate that. Likewise they are always blunt to him with no ulterior motives.

Shadowheart

Act 1: Sol would be annoyed by the fact she's keeping secrets, and I can see Shadowheart disliking them because of it, and because of their clear appreciation of Lae'zel. Both of them unpolitely avoid each other, a few jabs every now and then, a few trashy comments thrown during party chatter, but nothing major, really. At the end of the day, it's annoyance and not hate.

Act 2: By that point when her and Lae'zel made amends, Sol slowly grows closer to Shadowheart as well. They still do their jabbing and nickpicking each other's flaws but it's more in good humour by now, mean banter is just Sol's way of being playful or showing affectionate and Shadowheart is a champion at it. During her Dame Aylin choice, they say it's best to let Shadowheart decide her own fate and not interfer, both Tav and Shar.

Act 3: When the hard truth downs on them that Shadowheart wasn't keeping secrets but had her memory fully wiped, they find themselves actually feeling guilty for their actions at the start. Guilt is something Sol rarely does ever feel. It's new, raw, and all-consuming, and they can't deal with it. If you have them romanced they'd confide in you with it, maybe you can go tell it to Shadowheart on your own and they'll get annoyed that you did that without their permission, but also thank you for doing it for them.

Gale

Act 1: full on bullying. They absolutely see him as a joke. Especially the Mystra part oh they never shut up about it and how stupid it was of him to try and appease a god back into a relationship, how naive he is for thinking gods ever see mortals as anything more than toys to play with and discard. Digs at him being a wizard, at how he is just borrowing magic while they were born with it, how his view is so narrow-minded. The thing about their "bullying" is that half of the criticism against him is valid and actually make sense, which makes Gale can't stand them because of it, he knows some of their words are right even when the rest is exaggerated bullshit.

Act 2: If you romance him, then Sol tells you to reconsider, that jumping into a relationship with someone who was obsessed with their ex is never a good idea. That Gale isn't who he seems to be, they might be bad at telling lairs apart but there are some things a person can't hide. Then the news from Elminster comes, and they're speechless when Gale actually seems on board to sacrifice his life. To blow himself up for something as stupid as the future of the world or a goddess. They think it's absolutely the dumbest idea he has ever had, and if he thinks their opinion of him was low before, then it just got even lower if he actually goes on with this plan. They tell you that you should never let that happen, they themselves don't know why they feel so strongly about this when they wouldn't have cared if he died in that portal before.

Act 3: they finally know why. They want him to die for himself, not die for someone else, not die for forgiveness. He should get a normal stupid death like all wizards do, he should blow himself up in a silly experiment or something not go on a suicide mission for a goddess who couldn't bother to get off her own ass to see him or a world that doesn't even know his name. They have a serious talk with him if he somehow can siphon their own magic to feed his orb. If you ask if that means they'll lose their magic, then they just stay silent. They aren't surprise when he becomes obsessed with the crown of Karsus. They claim they predicted it happening eventually, be it the crown or another magical artifact. You can pass an insight check to find out they're telling the truth.

Lae'zel

Act 1: probably the only companion they actually liked from the start. There is something about her so familiar. Her sharp mean words feel like home, and her bluntness is a breath of fresh air. They are absolutely vibing with her through the whole journey, keep introducing her to Faerun concepts and human traditions. Make a joke about how they're a descendent of a red dragon, and she's a githyanki, so this must be fate.

Act 2: they didn't think they could respect her even more, and yet when she stood in front of Vlaakith and faced her, her courage almost stunned them. They genuinely admire her, start looking up to her in a way they deem embarrassing to admit, and try to hide it. Start hinting at how they'd love her as a friend.

Act 3: The way she manages her emotions so well and doesn't hide from them but faces them instead is something they thought was impossible to do. How can she do it so easily? Why did no one ever teach them this? How can she accept her new fate just like that when everyone in camp knew how dedicated she was to her cause and peoppe? And how did she manage to find a new cause to fight for do it quickly? Lae'zel to them is the kind of hero you read about in history books. She is the closest thing they'll ever have to a role model. What started as an easy friendship because Sol felt at home around "rude" people quickly became Sol's first ever actual genuine friendship. In a way...maybe it was Lae'zel's too.

At the end of the game, they're very against the idea of Lae'zel turning into a mindflayer if it's brought up. If you're playing Lae'zel origin, then they'd offer themselves instead, something they'd never do for the others or Tav. For their only and first ever friend, they're willing to give up their life.

Wyll

Act 1: is a bit suspicious at the fact he is too charming and nice, at least Astarion has his very clear personality flaws which made his lie fly over their head. But with Wyll he feels too true to be good and they tell him that which he brushes off with a laugh. Then the whole Mizora fiasco is discovered and they're like "Ha, I knew it!"

Act 2: they thought he'd be delighted to her about his father being imprisoned, it means the power will rightfully be his now, right? So why is he putting so much effort into searching for a parent who abandoned him, why does he forgive his father and still care? They don't understand Wyll.

Despite the three of them being humans, Wyll and Gale are the two companions Sol would never understand no matter how much they try. If anything Sol felt left out, as if none of them could relate to one another's struggles. Being human clearly was never enough to build a bond between them.

Act 3: They see the reunion between Wyll and his father and bitterness fills their mouth, realising their own family wouldn't have gone through the same effort. Jealousy, envy at Wyll having something they desperately wanted. Sol is clearly more powerful than him wasn't it for his pact with a devil so why should they feel inferior to him? They shouldn't...but he has so many friends, so many fans and he seems...content, happy.

How dare he be happy when he is this weak, how dare he forgive his father for casting him out, how dare he learn from his past mistakes and aim to better himself rather into crumble into self loathing for being a fraud. Wyll is everything Sol wasn't and couldn't be. Weak and happy.

Karlach

Act 1: she doesn't seem surprised by their attitude but she never banters back with them, they're aren't sure what to make of it. Her skin is thicker than they expected, probably because nothing Sol could ever say or do hasn't been said and done by the devils in hell in a way that's ten times as hurtful. Karlach went through a lot and Sol is barely a scratch on her surface. But what really takes them back is the fact she is still kind to them? It fully weirds them out how nice she is to them, how one time she asked if their draconic lineage gave them enough fire resistance to hug her. Sol didn't know what to say, they just shook their head. If anything they too can't remember the last time they were hugged, the last time someone even touched them in a non threatening way.

Act 2: when her engine gets fixed, Sol curiously asked her if hugging was as much of a disappointment as they knew it would be for her. Instead she hugged them and they remained speechless for the rest of the day. Couldn't even pretend it didn't effect them, hugs are actually nice, they found out.

Act 3: she calls them her friend and Sol wonders how the fuck did they get to that point? Even their morality is as grey as their a rainstorm but Karlach somehow looked past that, past their insults, past their fits of jealousy and past their unstable emotions and saw a person. Sol never considered her a friend so why did she? It can't be that easy to make a friend, yes they can't be the one in the wrong no. Karlach is definitely the one in the wrong here, she should raise her standards for friends and not just throw the word around, she might give someone the wrong idea.

She's dying, they watch her struggling against the flames of her heart and they wonder if this is the same fate awaiting them. If this is why their training was so brutal, why their family was so stern, why their life was so ruthless. Just so they can live? So they remain alive and not succumb to a death like Karlach's.

So why did she seem happy. Why did world life seem so much more colorful than Sol's. Why did she go out with a smile as they remained alive but miserable. For once Sol wonders maybe if the dragon heart inside their chest didn't belong to them, wonders if their own heart was too stolen from them before birth. They feel like they failed her as a friend, like they never appreciated her enough. That by the time they were ready to call her a friend, she was already gone. Left back to the hells or left the world of the living.

-

By the act 3, like the other companions they soften up and start considering friendship. Start paying them actual compliment and stand by them

Tell me if you want me to do Halsin and Minthara too because this was really fun <3 thanks so much for letting me gush about my unlovable little fireball.

[khaire-traveler]

Ok, I will try not to talk too much about this on here, since this blog isn't really about this type of content, but I need to nerd out to someone, none of my friends are into this, and this is my main blog, so here we go:

***BALDUR'S GATE 3 SPOILERS AHEAD; READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION***

This is mostly just me needing out and gushing, though, lol.

Ok, ok, so for the past five days, I have been fucking binge playing this game. I literally spent the first day I got it sitting around for, like, seven hours (don't be me, and make sure to get up for breaks if you're gonna do the same thing). I was - and still am - absolutely hooked.

I LOVE this game!!! It's the first DnD based game I've played, especially of this quality (even though my laptop runs it like shit and the lag is killer ☠️). I'm playing on Explorer, so it's been fairly easy and very story-focused. I find the lore so intriguing, and I'm so interested in seeing where the story goes! I haven't seen anything past the camp party after saving Halsin, though, so no spoilers please. 🙏

So, I started off with one playthrough, but I came in with the knowledge that you are able to romance the characters and such. I REALLY wanted to romance Astarion (as most people I see talking about the game lmfao), but my bitch ass just could not get his approval, no matter how hard I tried. It got to the point where he actually made fun of me after we saved Halsin and had the camp party. 😭 I honestly suspect he might've glitched out somehow, since I had read online that people have had similar issues with earning the trust and approval of companions. This definitely bummed me out, but I was still enjoying the game a lot.

Along with that, in my original playthrough, I literally forgot to seek out Lae'zel. I had planned on doing it, but I just didn't know where to go, and by the time I had met Gale, I honestly forgot about finding her because I had to get offline at that point. 💀 I felt really bad about it, and I only went to go look for her after saving Halsin because I was reminded of her, and she had already broken out of the cage and killed the two tieflings who trapped her. I felt so bad that I just left her there on her own all that time. ☠️

After realizing that I wouldn't be able to recruit her until a bit later, I just decided to restart my playthrough on different save files. I figured I'd also at least get a proper chance with Astarion as well (love him so much; he is my meow meow 💕), and all while still playing as the character I took quite literally two hours to make (I was very indecisive about them lol).

So far, the new playthrough has been going very well, and I'm actually pretty happy that I restarted, since I had also apparently missed the scene of Astarion sharing his vampiric nature as well as some very key information from, and about, Lae'zel. I'm only about seven hours in right now, but I feel like I've somehow gotten more done in this playthrough than I did in my original which had something like fifteen hours. I've explored places I didn't even realize existed, picked up a ridiculous amount of loot, and even acquired all the companion characters that I know of in the First Act. It's been extremely successful! Not to mention things with Astarion are going very well. 🥰

Anyway, I've been enjoying this game a lot! This is my first ever time playing it; I didn't have Early Access and hadn't even heard of it until my friend told me about it this past Sunday lol. I'm honestly really glad that I got this game, despite the price of it and the price I had to pay for a new storage drive for my laptop in order to run it. It was certainly lots of money spent, but it was definitely money well spent.

I feel like my perspective on the world around me has changed slightly from playing this game (in a positive way). I feel a lot more curious about things than before, and I'm more inclined to take spontaneous risks which has always been a struggle for me beforehand. I also kind of feel like I can talk to other people a lot easier as well, as strange as that sounds. I play a Bard in the game, so my character has high charisma and stops to talk to other characters a lot, and I'm not really sure why, but seeing my character interact so easily with others has kind of inspired me in a way and helped to make social situations a lot more comfortable for me (I have social anxiety, so talking to people has always been pretty tough). As unusual as it may sound, this game has already changed me in such positive ways as a person, and I can't wait to see what other lessons it may have to teach. ☺️

All of that said, I couldn't recommend Baldur's Gate 3 more! It's genuinely one of those games that I think anyone can pretty much enjoy, and I also appreciate how inclusive it is with gender stuff and queer relationships. The other characters even refer to me with the correct pronouns, despite me never needing to enter my pronouns in! It's a very impressive game, and the graphics are absolutely gorgeous (especially when your laptop isn't absolute shit like mine lmao). Frankly, it's just great!

Of course, being so new, it does have its problems. I've personally experienced lots of lag issues - dialogue and animations won't be in sync, characters taking a long time to go from one location to another, environments not loading in very quickly, etc. I've also had the game crash on me a few times, but I honestly believe it's more related to my laptop than it is to the game, and for the most part, it hasn't caused me too much grief.

Despite its flaws, I personally believe this game is very much worth a play. It's loads of fun, and the characters are pretty charming and entertaining. The storyline is interesting with lots of twists and turns, and if you ever get bored of the mainline quest, there are literally endless sidequests for you to enjoy. Exploration is highly encouraged, and as you explore the realm, your map actually reveals the locations you've been to. Fast travel is also a super great feature, although there are some locations I wish that were on there that aren't, sadly.

Ok, I've...talked a lot, so I'm going to stop now. �� Thank you to anyone who actually read all this, and I hope you have fun playing or watching someone else play, if you plan on doing either! Take care. 🧡🪽

[blackjackkent]

9, 10, and 18 for the OC asks for Hector? (Bonus for him and the squad: group q 22)

(OC Asks: Put Those Guys in Situations!)

Thank yoouuuu :D

9. Your character has been invited to a prestigious formal event. What do they wear? What do they do when they get there?

Hm. Hector would put himself entirely in Wyll's hands for this, I think, as the only person in the squad who has in fact experienced a prestigious formal event before. Wyll would put him in touch with a good tailor and ensure he's decked out in something flattering but (at Hector's request) not terribly ostentatious, some kind of simple suit situation, in Hector's established favorite colors of blue and black.

I don't see Hector as being particularly the life of the party; in a large social situation he would definitely get overstimulated like he did at the circus. So he probably mostly hangs out in the corner and kind of watches the ebb and flow of the room. Eventually he does manage to get into conversation with a few people but in a very subdued way, perhaps finding someone he can chat about city history with or something in that regard.

This scenario changes SLIGHTLY if Karlach is coming with him. Karlach also has zero experience in formal affairs but she also has zero shyness, so she would be dragging him all over the room being excited to meet new people. This is also the only scenario in which he would dance, if there was dancing, and he would NOT be good at it. XD

-----

10. Your character finds a lost child. What do they do?

We see this specifically play out in game with Yenna. Hector's immediate response is to try and get her to a temple where the priests will help her; putting her in the hands of the local religious folk is just automatically logical to him because he is one himself. If he's not in a world-shattering situation and can actually stick around to help, he absolutely will also do that, asking a lot of questions and going into detective mode to try and figure out where the kid's family is and what he can do to help. He absolutely doesn't leave until he knows the kid is in safe hands.

-----

18. Quick! Your character has to accurately sing or recite something from memory! They only have one chance - what do they pick, and do they succeed?

Oh, Hec's super good at this. :D He has a tremendous memory and has spent a vast proportion of his life reading. There are a number of Selunite prayers that come more easily to him than breathing at this point, and also probably numerous historical documents that he could quote almost verbatim if asked.

-----

For the squad:

22. Your characters have somehow travelled 200 years into the past! What time period have they ended up in? Do they enjoy visiting this time period? What do your characters get up to? Are there any historical figures they want to meet?

Hm. The vast majority of the squad, I suspect, does not like this development. If they're in the city, Astarion ends up taking the lead on the situation, as he was alive at that time period. If they're outside the city, Halsin does, for similar reasons. Everyone else just kind of follows along and tries to keep their head down, but Hector goes FULL history nerd and drives Astarion and Halsin crazy with a billion questions and with constantly wanting to dart off to look at things and talk to people for "research" to bring back to the monastery if they ever get back to the present. XD

[cetra]

Friend!!! I’d love to hear about your Tav and who your main companions are/who you romanced! 🩶🩶🩶

OUGHGH thank u very much for the ask...... I'm still kinda embarrassed to talk about him but here he is. His name is Malachy, Mal for short. he's a half-elf Rogue (Arcane Trickster). I went with Dark Urge as his origin, so his story is still shrouded in mystery at this point in the game but he's quite submissive to the Urge.

I would classify him as MAYBE Neutral Evil based on his non-Urge actions in the game so far but this is subject to change, and the needle has moved closer to Lawful at a few points in the game, depending on the person involved and the stakes at hand.

honestly.... he's a pretty terrible person with a disgusting attitude and I would probably hate him if he were real. He will kill without hesitation anyone who wrongs him and anyone he thinks as deserving. if he spares someone or rescues a soul, it's usually because he thinks it will benefit him later

I can't say much else on him bc i've just barely started Act 2, but he's been one of the most enjoyable characters i've played as in my time of RPGs. i really love roleplaying characters who are terrible people and Mal has been one of nastiest yet. he's so awful and he honestly scares me sometimes! I also kinda think he should die but at the same time i care about him..... DELICIOUS THANK YOU!!!! 🧡

I'm gonna put everything else under a cut..... 😭😭 i'm so sorry......

The main companions atm are Gale, Lae'zel and Astarion. Lae'zel admires him and has almost max approval with him (I just finished Act 1). Gale likes him but they've argued a few times already in the game, yet he still maintains good approval with him somehow. better approval than Astarion actually, who approves of nearly all of Mal's heinous deeds in-game but gives a lot of disapproval when Mal is mean to him, which is almost always! So despite sharing a hankering for violence and a lust for blood i don't think Astarion likes him much, which makes him the smartest person in this party

romance is kinda weird. He hooked up with Minthara after the raid, but Minthara's romance in this game is notoriously broken and i think it's going to stay broken on this save file since the "fixes" have been inconsistent for most players. So i sadly decided that would be a one-time thing for him 😭 but towards the end of Act 1 after some story developments featuring Lae'zel i realized that those two were unimaginably compatible together and so I think they're endgame. The gratitude she shows towards him, how much she respects him, how similar they are in a lot of capacities..... just really touches my soul and it feels like love to me, or at least the closest thing to love I can imagine these two characters feeling. So they slept together, at the VERY end of Act 1, and i'm waiting to see what direction that goes in. But i have a really good feeling about it honesty.....

there's also the question of Gale. Gale clashes with Mal a LOT in the game and there was even a scene between them where he quite literally damned him? but then later on after that we got a scene where Gale was clearly interested in him so it turns out Gale also has a crush on him i guess?? Don't really know if it's a bug but i'm kinda happy it developed that way bc honestly it's such a juicy concept HJDFBHKJBGK 😭😭 Mal's a Heterosexual Man though so he doesnt return the feelings and now Gale is stuck with a big fat unrequited crush on Mal that i never anticipated or intended to happen. Gale is my absolute favorite character in the game though so I've never wanted an OC to kill themselves so bad until i had Mal cut off that insanely really romantic moment with Gale DFJHBDKHJG I HATE HIM SO MUCH MAN........ MOST EVIL THING HE'S DONE IN THE GAME SO FAR!! GALE SHOULD KILL HIM.

Admittedly i do really like the idea of Mal, Lae'zel and Gale being in a really weird and twisted situationship where they often can't stand being around one another as a result of their strong personalities and insane moral compasses but are also kinda obsessed with each other and have a lot of unsaid feelings between the three of them. AND MAYBE THEY ALL KISS OR SOMETHING this is all totally in my head and relies exclusively on just. My imagination going wild as i perceive them in the game. they're the worsties ever and uhhh I hate them?/ I actually love them that just seemed like a funny thing to say.......

I uh didn't mean for this to go on so long especially since i mentioned being kinda embarrassed about it but I guess i didn't realize how much I had been keeping this in..... i hadn't really shared anything about him yet before on here, so THANK U FOR GIVING ME THE OPPORTUNITY!!!! now I'm gonna go hide in shame bc of how much i said okay BYEEEEE 🧡

[old-stoneface]

ive been seeing people claim that different characters are astarion's foil and i dont know why some people have yet to realize that all of the main six companions in bg3 are similar in so many very meaningful ways . you can ostensibly argue (albeit with varying strength and success) that any one of the characters in that party can act as a foil to another. also, im not really sure if most people know what a character foil is......maybe we need to reintroduce the phrase "character parallel" to the online character analysis layman's vocabulary. a "foil" is a character that has traits that contrast the protagonist or simply another character in the story, but it does not stop there. they dont have to be strict opposites. sometimes its just a matter of two characters having traits that accentuate or bring attention to each other's aforementioned traits.

a really good example of this is horatio and hamlet from hamlet, where hamlet is ruled by his emotions and horatio is ruled by rational thinking, a theme repeatedly mentioned throughout the play in the sense that horatio will ask hamlet to be more calculating, and hamlet will implore horatio to be more emotional. an example of a parallel in the same play would be hamlet and laertes (ophelia's brother), where in the end, due to their combined familial losses and the tragedy that befalls them, they are both corrupted by their volatile emotions/madness turning inward and then coming under the influence of other figures in their lives. theres a lot more going on in that play obviously but these are basic good examples of the ideas of foils and parallels.

in the case of astarion and wyll, their motivations and personalities are very good foil material, seeing as right away there is a distinct difference in their opinions on heroism, something that very much defines both of them. astarion is, when glanced over as a whole, a villain, while wyll is clearly a hero, immediately creating a dichotomy tantalizing to both the audience and the characters themselves as seen in their party interactions. with astarion and gale, we see more a foil-ness of their experience with relationships and personalities. gale is not a hero, and astarion's general villainity means nothing to him. they do not clash. its more about how they act in relationship to the player that causes interest between the two of them, how astarion is clearly uninterested in genuine emotions and wants to be manipulative, whereas gale is overly sincere and begs for attention rather desperately. however, when it comes to pointing out parallels that further promote and intrigue the dynamic of foils...we have the constant theme of being under someone else's control in this game and being forced by obligation to follow these rules imposed by someone else. astarion and cazador, wyll and mizora (and his father, in some ways), gale and mystra, shadowheart and shar, lae'zel and vlakiith (and githyanki tradition as a whole), karlach and literally every authority figure that wormed their way into her life but in particular - zariel. as i play more of the game and learn more about each character, im sure ill discover even more stuff that makes various characters into parallels or foils. i know theres stuff w halsin that will be interesting to me.

thats what i mean by there are traits in every character in the main party that both compliment and clash. and this is also a reminder that foils and parallels do not have to be romantic, but they can be. so like..idk. i dont really have a conclusion here. i just wanted to talk about this lmao

[haldenlith]

Saw this, thought it'd be fun to do. Was going to do a different one, but my idiot ass forgot to note where it came from, and I couldn't find the source, so doing this one.

[Blank template]

To explain Halsin, Karlach, and Lae'zel:

Karlach (Complicated/Lovers): Tannivh and Karlach got on like sparks to kindling, and he did genuinely fall for her fairly quickly. Her forwardness made it easy. The problem? Well, Tannivh's complicated. If you were to ask him (and I headcanon that Astarion does, at some point, ask him), he'd admit that he's a coward in the realm of love. The sparks of love with Karlach and him sputtered when they found out that there is a real and very concrete possibility that Karlach is living on borrowed time. Sure, she could go back to Avernus, but after talking with her about it, it's pretty clear she's okay with only being here for a short period of time and then dying if it means she dies free. Tannivh wouldn't be able to bring himself to ask her to go back to Avernus. He's big on respecting people's choices when it comes to things like that. But... he also has a hard time reconciling the idea of loving someone that's doomed to die, at least in a romantic sense. In the end, he let the fires of love just... cool. She's never brought it up, and he won't bring it up, so it just kind of... went nowhere. They're incredibly good friends, found family even, but there's still that awkward little tinge of tension.

Halsin (Best Friends/Lovers): Tannivh is ready to jump Halsin's bones, he just needs to say the word. They relate incredibly well, both culturally and just generally. This is a case of like-attracts-like. Halsin is softer, more forgiving, but otherwise they're very similar, and Tannivh appreciates that. Granted, being from such a peculiar and remote village/enclave, his experiences are likely a bit different from Halsin's, but still, it's nice. Also, there's his looks. Tannivh will admit it -- he is a little superficial, and there is definitely a carnal attraction there. There's just one problem: he's not often the most forward of guys. In more casual times, he would be, had they met on the road, under different circumstances, Tannivh would've 100% propositioned Halsin, point-blank. In more tense times, like the current state of things, he holds back. He's learned over the years of travelling that not everyone has such a relaxed view of sex and relationships, so he's become one to keep it on the backburner in these situations. Better for morale, better to keep from making things awkward. That, and, well, he's not gifted in the way of words, so tactfully propositioning someone isn't his strong suit. SO... they remain in this state of being best friends with some THICK sexual tension.

Lae'zel (Enemies): So, I think Lae'zel is an interesting character, and I look forward to exploring her more on a different character. That said, this is from Tannivh's perspective. He doesn't take kindly to her brand of hostility and barking of orders. That is, bar none, among one of the faster ways to get him to ditch you. Which, consequently, was exactly what he did when he encountered her in the makeshift cage with the two Tieflings. Did he think what the Tieflings were doing was wrong? To a certain degree, yeah. But did he feel like she was in danger? No. So, thus, when she barks orders at him telepathically, and gets stern/condescending with him, he's like "pfft, find your own way" and turns around and leaves. (Calling him a "coward" also didn't help.) So, yeah, Tannivh chose to walk away. She isn't even in the camp. He knows not what became of her, and does not care.

[fool-errant]

Rapport

Sorry Astarion isn't in this one much - I started in one direction and wandered off into the weeds. If somehow I keep spitting drabble he'll show up again. This is more of Halla the bard no one wanted to know. She is in the previous scrap I posted. Shes an old tabletop DnD character - and yes she is in fact an awful person. Just in a fun non murder-y way.

Being a bard of small talent - and a swindler of even more skill, Halla considered herself good with people. She had to be. The fact no one had lynched her yet was proof enough. Find a common topic to pull a conversation out, keep them interested. Build a rapport. Soon people were convinced she was a “like minded individual” and not think of her when things started going missing or falling apart.

Their small group of traumatized adventurers hadn’t been too different. Common experiences aside she needed more than a support group if they were going to survive without tentacles. Well at least - increase the odds of non tentacled lives.

The wizard, was useful, in a tactical way. Working with him was easy, like many magic scholars, was all too eager to talk about himself. A smile there, a nod or three when he mentioned the weave and he was receptive to her suggestions. She suspected that being abducted was the most social interaction he’d experienced in a long time.

Shadowheart was a bit odd - but nothing too interesting. Figure out what strange enclave she had been shaken out of, make a few theatrical shows of faith, any faith that wasn't diametrically opposed, and she’d probably be able to get close enough to examine that little trinket the cleric guarded so closely. The gith, she’d heard of her ilk. Nothing good. But nothing specific. Just - rumors. Alas her disposition and dislike for everyone made it hard to talk with her. But there was a pragmatism Halla respected even if their methods of solving problems conflicted. Gith it seemed had two solutions for everything - both ended in blood and screaming. Alas Lae’zel did have a point that they should be very concerned about the fact they were going to die. It was hard to argue with that fact. Of course Halla was concerned. She was very concerned. But there was time for panicking later. It wouldn’t do to lose what was left of one's head in the middle of this wilderness.

 But Halla couldn’t coax or persuade the worm out of her skull, so she was working with what she had. And what she had was what was left of her wits, a violin and a group of random abductees that seemed to be getting larger everyday. Now the elf was a bit of a puzzle. He was annoying. But the wrong shape of annoying. He was of some nobility or rank. At least that was what the clothes and accent was telling her. But an upper city swell willing to get his hands dirty and try to pick a fight with a complete stranger. He was too competent at it, she’d gotten out of his grasp without much trouble but he moved with the ease of someone used to conflict. He also picked locks better than she did. Which was mildly embarrassing on a professional level, but another flaw in the facade.

“We must travel in different circles.” She’d played, performed, danced, drank and stole in many circles but she was sure she’d never seen him around. He also hadn’t mentioned how wealthy he was or which important people he knew in the city. Which felt out of character for an Upper City fop of any stripe. They were always flaunting who they knew, or who they were related to. It was a currency they used and spent like she used her smile and charms.

He was clearly lying. Hiding something. Maybe they were in similar lines of work and he was new in the city. He was too articulate to be Guild. Wrong sort for a mercenary group. Somehow, vampire spawn had never crossed her mind in the list of possibilities. In hindsight she should have sorted it out before they found the dead boar. Though watching the pale elf dance around a pig corpse and the topic of how it got there did prove to her that no, he was not in fact in the same line of work she was. He was terrible at it. Having the ridiculous man try to feed on her in the dark had been a bit of a surprise. It was hardly the first time someone attacked her in her bed. Though the teeth were a first. To Astarion’s credit, he at least had the decency to look ashamed about the situation. She’d allowed him to feed, it had been much less orgasmic than she’d been led to believe. He went at it with the enthusiasm of a man starving. If he’s telling the truth he probably was. He did at least keep his word and stopped when she asked. Better than she’d expect from a man attacking a lady in her bedroll. It had been a stupid thing to do. Halla’s self preservation, usually her strongest trait, was screaming at her. Her blood belonged in her body. One couldn’t just give out pieces of oneself, even the parts that grow back. It was a bad habit to get into. But she was dying anyway, and she needed any advantage if they were going to survive. A vampire owing her a favor might be useful. 

[alpaca-clouds]

Tav Avariel | Some Backstory

I want to talk a bit about my Tav, because I love this big dumb idiot so much by now.

When I originally created him, I did not put a lot of thought into who he is as a character. I mostly gave him similar stats to my last DnD character and that was it. But once I really got into the roleplaying of the game... Well. I needed to make him a proper character.

He has a criminal background, yet he goes around helping everyone. And how was it connected to his barding? Also... Look, I know we all love Astarion. We do. But Astarion would also not be the easiest guy to have a relationship with. Especially for someone who very much falls into the "good" alignment. So... Why the hell would this guy fall for him?

So, have some backstory discussion, if anyone cares.

CW for violence against children, child abuse, slavery

Being a little anarchist myself, I obviously know quite well that you can be a criminal, but also be good. Because you can be a criminal for doing the good things the law does not want you to do. So I decided that Tav is a bit of a vigilante. A mixture of Robin Hood and Batman. He is the kind of guy who steels from the rich to give to the poor, but also the guy who will stab some evildoers to death, if need should arise.

And a bit like Batman with his Bat-Family, my bard Tav very much has a bard-family. Other bards, who work together with him and very much are his found family.

The big thing I the got to was, to make him the exact opposite of Astarion. While of course my Tav is simply a mortal human, he has his own trauma. As a child his village got raided by goblins and as far as Tav knows, his parents got killed. Tav got taken prisoner and sold in Watergate as a slave. This was of course a bad thing to start with, but got only worse, because he ended up in a brothel that served only the sickest bastards. So people who were into the really bad things (including children).

Tav escaped when he was about 15. Together with three others. It was not a planned escape, but rather a very desperate attempt. They hid out in some wagons, without knowing what they were, finding out later that they accidentally hid out at a circus. But the circus took them in and hid them.

And here is where Tav is the exact opposite of Astarion. Because while Astarion came out of his trauma with the idea of: "Nobody came to save me, so fuck everyone else who needs saving," Tav came out of it: "Nobody came to save me, so I guess nobody will save other people, so I am going to be the one who has to do that!" Which is why he ended up becoming a vigilante.

Technically speaking he did not directly become a vigilante. He stayed with the circus until he was about twenty and had at least partly transitioned (he is trans). He first travelled the sword coast for a bit, doing just a bit of normal heroics before settling in Neverwinter, where he tried for a while to use his talent with people to influence politics for the better.

This ended in a total desaster, though. And had him and a certain elven noble (Kantei) flee the city in the middle of the night. They travelled together for a while - but ended up in Baldur's Gate when he was 25.

Tav made friends with two bards there, who let him even stay with them until he found a place to stay for himself. And this is basically when he started out to become a proper vigilante together with the elf he escaped Neverwinter with, and those two who helped him. They did collect two other people along the way.

As such they did a lot of little heroics. Be it with the stealing from the rich, or be it hunting down criminals in the city. They definitely also at some point started to investigate the entire Bhaal murder thing, because that would not have escaped their attention.

They might at some point even investigated some of the disappearings linked to Cazador - but never made the connection that Cazador was the one responsible

Now, my Tav has a fairly low intelligence (INT8), though I think that more than anything represents that he is uneducated as fuck - and also has issues focusing on stuff. Less because stuff like ADHD and more connected to trauma.

A big thing with him is, though, that he... well, again, his entire take-away was: "I was not saved, so I need to save everyone else". But that gets at times into very self-destructive behavior. He will very willingly throw away his life to save other people. And he also in general does not share his own trauma, because he does not want other people to worry about him.

He also believes to a very unrealistic degree that if you are just nice to people, people will be nice to you in return. Which is also why he will not kill anyone as long as there is another way to solve a situation. (It is also why in my stuff I have Gortash survive.)

Something I plan on playing with is, that Astarion thinks that Tav is so very well put together, because his way of coping with his issues in the exact opposite way to Astarion - making it very invisible to Astarion.

And yes, the reason Tav falls for Astarion is, because he sees a lot of himself in Astarion and his sadness.