#like sometimes i wonder if astarion fans even like him ???

[bhaalsdeepbat]

sometimes when people describe astarion as pathetic, they'll list all his more feminine characteristics rather than like

it's fucking pathetic of him to be mad if you save the gnomes, even if you understand why he disapproves it. It's still fucking pathetic. he's also extremely pathetic when he ascends and starts becoming more like Caz, but it's bc it's pathetic that the power goes to his head like that simply bc he would rather insulate himself with power than allow himself to face his past and overcome it.

not because he deserves nice things and finery.

[alijuan]

Ascended Astarion is true unlike Spawn Astarion who pretends to be good for Tav

If i see that opinion again i will explode🫠

It's funny because Astarion will only approves if you persuade him not to perform the ritual.

A lot of people don't understand the concept of grey morality and it shows. Many people justify him but this type of AA fan thinks worse of him than he really is. He needs the ritual not because he's a power-hungry villain, but because he needs safety for himself and his lover. Depending on Tav/Durge's actions, he either stays with the feeling of fear (AA is still afraid deep inside, the game files confirm this) or he fights against it and becomes truly free of Cazador and fear (spawn ending). The dialogue with Durge about not being afraid is wonderful and shows difference between SA and AA.

Astarion: This little adventure of ours has taught me that we can't let our lives be ruled by fear. Or else we never really live. Astarion: I'm not afraid. Not of you, not of your darkness, and not of our future.

The point of the spawn ending is that Tav/Durge saw him as more than just an outward image of a power-hungry killer incapable of becoming a better person. But if you can't see beyond that image, he will think that he has no choice but to continue living in the world that Cazador has built for him. If you think that AA is his best ending because he is evil then you have failed to understand his whole personality.

I feel safe with you. Seen.

Despite of his love of killing (he is a vampire after all), he repeatedly showed compassion and guilt for luring people. Before the ritual, he literally convinced himself that he should kill spawn for power. Astarion rationalises this to protect his psyche, because he’s clearly not the type of guy who can sacrifice thousands of people to the devil and not feel anything about it.

Durge/Tav: This isn’t you, Astarion. Not really. Astarion: It should be.

I really like that the player technically makes the insight check and that there’s an advantage when they're romancing Astarion. Tav/Durge could see through the image Astarion was trying to create. They saw an elf whose fear prevented him from seeing all the possibilities.

Astarion: When I look at my future, anything and everything feels possible now.

Just as Astarion saw Durge not just as serial killer, but as someone who could defeat Urge and become a better person.

Durge: I am myself at last. You don't need to fear anything from me ever again. Astarion: I knew you had that sweat heart all along. I was alarmed by you sometimes, scandalised even, but somehow by your side, I still only ever saw you.

AA fans also often ignore the fact that the game has good and bad endings in the companion stories. And it's not about morality. All companion quests are literally about how the desired and obvious path leads to a bad ending. And Astarion is no exception. In a good ending, he gets the chance to heal and finally acceptes himself and his vampire nature, in a bad ending, he gives up and regresses as a person.

Spawn Astarion knows what he wants and says it. SA is ready for a relationship and sex. Ascended Astarion can’t answer the question of what he wants, so he acts as a vampire lord should. AA is literally back to the state of the first act and has started manipulating Tav/Durge through sex again (even repeating the same phrases). This is why he doesn’t really want sex (he approves if you choose the no sex option and he definitely dissociated during the sex scene) unlike Spawn Astarion who initiated it.

Spawn Astarion is the same Astarion who enjoys “murder and terror” and you can see that clearly in his “hero” ending (more like “antihero”). And this is the ending without romance, he chose it himself. And the whole idea of him pretending to be good for Tav is actually meaningless without romance.

Ascended Astarion is the same Astarion, but stuck in a black and white world of fear and domination.

SA scene ends with hope music (instrumental version of I want to live) AA scene ends with chains.

And there’s so much more. Larian specifically showed the difference between good and bad endings in the dialogues, scenes after ritual, recent updates and even the interview so people would definitely understand, but they didn't🙃 Some AA fans (especially on youtube and larian forum) are on a new level of delusion.

[invaderzia1]

You want to talk about Astarion? Well ask and you shall receive😏

This one is a little NSFW so just a warning. But I think Astarion has a thing for necks. Of course, yes he is a vampire and all that, but feeling his partner tenderly brush the sides of his neck or planting kisses on it? He's putty.

Not that it even needs to be sexual or during sex. It could just be while cuddling and he feels soft kisses going up his neck just filled with unconditional love and support. Maybe it's because his partner is a bit shorter than him, so they kiss his neck when they can't reach his face. It reminds him that someone loves him no matter what.

However, he is absolutely a big fan of it in bed. Deep thrusts and moans that are from deep within the soul and he starts to feel them kiss and lick at his neck. It starts off so soft, clearly kisses made of love. Then it starts to evolving into sucking, leaving light hickeys that weren't thought about too much in the heat of the moment. Some of them are deep and more visible, sometimes of accident and other times on purpose. It doesn't really matter to him other than you're marking him in a way he's okay with receiving.

He can't see the hickeys left on him, so he doesn't bother to cover them up. He enjoys it even more of his partner is embarrassed by it.

Not to forget, but he loves doing the same to his partner. We all know this man bites and the bite marks are hot. He could leave them in other places (and he does) but his partner's neck is his favorite. Getting to mark his love as his, AND getting a little snack out of it? What's not to love?

When relearning intimacy, he definitely tries choking. It's not his favourite, but he does enjoy it from time to time. This one took quite a while till he was comfortable in experimenting with, but he ended up liking it. He doesn't need to breath, being a vampire and all, but it's mostly the principle of it to him. Watching his partner above him move their hands from his shoulders to his neck for a comfortable position gets him going pretty hard. Not to forget the fact his neck is just a little bit more sensitive than other's, so it's definitely an erroneous zone for him. He likes giving it to his partner, but only for brief amounts of time. He doesn't exactly remember how long a person can hold their breath for and he'd rather not find out the hard way.

Aftercare is as always, caring, soft and adoring. He takes extra time checking his partner, especially around their neck. He usually just takes a moment afterwards to stare at it, seeing the marks he left, it gives him a wonderful new look on life. It tells him, "I own this, this belongs to me and I wouldn't want it any other way."

MDNI

About his own neck, he’s so cautious about it. Both because it’s sensitive but also it’s where he was bit, so he needs to deeply trust you to let you near it. I would say it takes a few years for him to allow you anywhere near it.

Your neck, is another story. Loves to leave marks and nip at it, especially if yours is also sensitive. God, if you make cute sounds when he kisses at your neck it gives him such an ego boost. It isn’t even completely sexual either. There’s something about seeing his teeth marks in your neck that gets him as well, seeing you not cover them up completely and walk around town with them fuels him.

Literally loves aftercare and it’s one of his big rules for being intimate again is aftercare! I stand by this!!!! But anyways, he’s always making sure you are alright. Especially if things were more intense, so he keeps an eye on your neck if he had been feeding on you. He probably reads so much on how much air a person needs and throat muscles and tries to get super technical so he can better understand.

God, could you imagine giving him neck kisses, it would have to be soft at first. Can’t overwhelm him and have to go at his pace, but the first one. How breathless (I know vampires don’t NEED to breath but) he gets and so soft. It just feels so good to feel your lips there AND to trust you won’t hurt him. He would be putty in your hands, all that attitude he has melts away and he can’t form a sentence for a bit.

[grievedeeply]

Hello there :) I see you take BG3 requests now, if it’s okay please could I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Dammon and Karlach falling for reader who always goes out of her way to help them with anything they need 💙💙

decided to take some liberties with this prompt and expand it out a bit to them just being super helpful overall as a person, but going out of their way to help them in particular lol. hope you enjoy anyways and thanks for the request! sorry if these are short I didn't want to be super repetitive

astarion, gale, wyll, dammon and karlach with a helpful s/o headcanons

astarion

he's used to you being incredibly helpful by now. helping out the tieflings in the grove, helping to rescue halsin from the goblin camp.. it's in your nature, he thinks

and with him, you acted the same. only your behaviors increased tenfold with him

you went out of your way to help him, and he isn't sure of why, really. but you won't see him complaining. the less work he has to do to make it by, the better.. and you seem happy to assist, so why not enjoy it?

you tend to offer your neck up to him whenever he's feeling particularly hungry. it's the first time you do this when astarion really realizes you're always a bit more attentive to him than with anyone else

still, he jumps at the opportunity for a free meal. it's not as though he doesn't appreciate it, but he'll always wonder what's going on in your mind whenever you decide to help him out in that way

he's used to being seductive and a bit flirty.. but he notices that with you it starts to feel different. he hates the thought of falling for you, feeling something real and genuine in that way wasn't exactly a familiar thing to him

but he knows you'd treat him well. after all.. you're already this helpful now. but if you were his? he could only imagine how things could change

gale

he doesn't understand it. why you're so helpful

he's very thankful for your help, but he wonders why you always make the extra time to find an artifact for him. days before he needs his next one, it's already in his hands, ready for consumption and it's always because of you

he doesn't want to overthink it. but he will

do you think that he's not as capable as everyone else? is it just out of the kindness of your heart? whatever the reason, he tries to refuse any unnecessary help

even though he appreciates it, he wants to see you spending more of your attention on yourself. he loves that you care for people and especially him, but he wants you to take care of yourself first and foremost

he realizes he's falling for you relatively quickly. no one else in his life had really looked out for him in the way you have. you're special. you're kind and you're.. lovely, really

he adores you, and he'll return your helpfulness in kind!

wyll

oh... wyll

he's so sweet. he's always looking out for you, just like you are for him. you're so incredibly protective of him, especially when mizora is involved

you're trying to find a loophole in his pact whenever you can, and he realizes he's falling for you as soon as he sees how serious you are about this whole thing

he falls hard. no one else had really shown him this type of care before, and he feels appreciated whenever he's with you. you see him as wyll. not just the blade of frontiers

he sees how much you care about other people, too. he sees your heart and your kindness, and he just adores it. it's hard to come by people as genuine as you. he counts himself lucky to even be in your life at all

dammon

he doesn't think he needs the help

he enjoys your company at the forge. you keep his mind occupied and you keep him talking. sometimes he gets so lost in his work that he forgets to eat or drink

but he still doesn't think he needs your help. he's used to doing everything by himself, and he's not exactly the biggest fan of change

but when you start organizing the materials and metals laid about.. it's really nice. he won't say anything or bring it up at all, but he does notice everything you do for him

you'll make him a snack every now and then. you'll tell him to take breaks— things that he forgets to do sometimes— and spend time with him when you're able to

he likes you. a lot. he doesn't admit it right away, but he knows he does. he feels the ache in his heart. he would be a fool to not like you

he'll tell you eventually. hopefully

karlach

she's beyond appreciative of you in general

you're so sweet. it's a big change from her life with zariel in the hells, so she jumps at the opportunity to talk to you whenever it arises

she notices how you jump to help whenever you can as soon as she meets you. after all, you believed her about the paladins when she was practically a stranger

karlach tells you about her infernal engine, and you're constantly trying to find the infernal iron she needs. wherever you go you're looking for it

it puts a smile on her face, knowing that you care so much about her..

she develops feelings for you pretty quickly. you're kind, you're able to see her as more than a soldier.. and that's more than she's had in a long time

a little unrelated, but she's so happy when she gets to touch you. like... over the moon happy

[missblissy]

Little Things! Astarion x Reader HCs

A/n: 😤😤 I’m just gonna say it, ya’ll don’t have enough casual domestic relationship headcanons in these tags. To much smut. Y’all need some water, come up for air or something good god I love y’all but drink some fucking water 😂 So have some HCs of Tav and Astarion in Act 1. GN! Tav with no class/race as always UwU Also thank you so much for all the likes and kind words on my last post! I plan on opening my requests soon so be sure to follow to stay updated on when that happens. 💖☺️ Enjoy!

Was it even possible for someone to be annoyed… and pleased at the same time? Could a contradiction even exist? Yes. It could. And it baffled Astarion. Sure you had a pretty face, a nice laugh, a way with words… A shimmer in your eyes… a crooked grin that barely broke a smirk… The faint and unmissable sound of your heart beat… A smell so signature he could pick it up in the subtle breeze.

Just with the shift of wind and now he was tossing and turning in his tent. Huffing and throwing his blanket over half his face. Thoughts racing with you now, all the way on the other side of camp and no where near him. Not even in his sight. And still you were in his mind.

How annoying. This was just a misguided, maybe even a malicious attempt at forging an alliance. So why did he feel so… bad? His red eyes couldn’t close so he just stared at the fabric wall of his tent. A blank but also bitter stare on his face.

Out of all the books he read, and he read a lot, none of them actually showed him what real was. What was real passion? Not the mask he wore. What was real conviction and adoration? All he knew was what he’s done for centuries. And this was nothing but uncharted and unfamiliar territory.

So why was it your delightful and diluted scent in the wind alone just enough to send him reeling? He couldn’t know, or didn’t dare to wonder.

These little things didn’t stop there. During the day you’d bounce up to him with a skip in your step… that equally would send a skip right into his ribs and tore up his lungs. With big bright eyes you’d show him something random, something you found, something you made… it didn’t matter.

Just the way you beamed with a radiant smile the sun could be jealous of, it was enough for a snide back handed comment that could be confused for a flirt, “Oh darling, for me? You shouldn’t have, you might just be one of my most devoted fans,” Normally a line like this worked. Either it would send the conversation towards the bedroom or someone left standing alone.

Neither happened. You just rolled your eyes, gave a little laugh and said, “A fan? In your dreams,” And go on chatting like before, unfazed by his little remarks. You were an enigma to him.

Especially during times after a battle. It was always such a gentle touch, when you’d place a hand on his shoulder and praise him for his good work and efforts in the battle.

If vampires had blood to blush he would. He didn’t understand why he wanted to hear more of it, “That was a good job you did out there today,” or maybe it was the way you said, “You did amazing,” He could listen to praises all day. He never knew how much he enjoyed them before.

Let’s not forget, he could hear your heartbeat. Not yours alone. Everyone had a different rhythm and rhyme. For instants Shadowheart, her heart was slow, sad, faint but still beating away with life. Astarion could hear it, just the same as Lae’zel who seemingly had no heart beat at all until the surprising thumb of it came every hour or so. He could hear yours too. Rattle away within your bones. And he paid close attention.

Normally these ‘skills’ of listening to hearts were used to hunt out a target for his master. But with no master and a band of fools, he still used these skills unbeknownst to himself.

He’d listen with eyes glued to a book. You’re heart pitter pattered like any other. But sometimes it’d start racing, picking up speed. Not to long ago a racing heart was the first step into picking a target, since the heart never lies and when a fool looked Astarion’s way if their heart sang that song he knew who would be his unfortunate soul.

But no, this time he just peered from over his book and watched you stare off into the distance, into the darkness of the woods. To his surprise there wasn’t a glance his way or even at anyone. Your heart only raced for fear it seemed. Even when you looked at him or shared a conversation, the same steady beat flowed.

It was something little like this, these little things only he knew as they festered in his mind. They ached within him. He hid it well but it wretched at his organs and plucked at his fibers every time. It was annoying. It was… wonderful…

It was terrifying. The way his breathe would catch when you’d ask him to join you. The way he actually felt anger, as petty as it was, when you asked him to stay back at camp.

Or maybe when he’d hear just the sound of your voice, distant on the other side of camp, muffled, not even loud enough to hear what you were saying but just enough to hear your voice. How strange that something so little as that was enough to ease him into sleep.

[eff-plays]

"Also Neil Newbon glazing Larian for being soooooo inclusive and making such groundbreaking representation while their only Black character is in the fucking toilet."

For real. I get that he kind of has to say these things and praise Larian but he could tone it down a little bit and be less obnoxious considering Wyll's treatment...

Also...am I allowed to say this? He doesn't even get his character that well, but that's not a conversation the Astarion fandom is ready to have and I say this as an Astarion fan. Like, bloody hell, most fans treat his words as law and it's extremely annoying. This guy went to the brothel pre-Cazador and was so baffled and stunned when Astarion refused to have group sex with the twins…seriously, Neil? You voiced this character for years. He not only had the act 2 confession with him, but also Halsin's poly proposal yet immediately after that he still genuinely thought Astarion "would be into it" and jump on every opportunity to have orgies and stuff. Maybe the fandom has rubbed off of him considering how many fans only want Act 1 Astarion and couldn't care less about his real persona. No, we want our sexy hedonistic debaucherous vampire!!!

Yeah I have always felt that people were weird abt Neil Newbon tbh. And I understand him playing into it, get that bag etc, but the fact that people take everything he says about Astarion as gospel is hilarious. Like he only voiced the guy. He mo-capped him too, but he did that with multiple characters, and others mo-capped for Astarion as well (leg thing). And yes he did a great job and as far as I remember, worked somewhat closely with Astarion's writer, but he's clearly not the writer, and has been somewhat spoiled by the fandom at large being horny for him and Astarion, buying into some of the fanon as a result.

Which is fine! I don't have any beef with Neil, I don't even keep up with any BG3 stuff outside of what I hear from people who do and what they sometimes tell me/what I get from Tumblr, but the fandom itself needs to chill out thinking he's some sort of authority on the character.

At best, Neil would have a good idea of how Astarion would say something (gee I wonder why) and in which manner. I don't think he's an authority on what Astarion would do or his particular inner life at all.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 59 - Plans Within Plans

You deal with a couple of problems.

On AO3.

As y’all don’t got no bear around to announce yourselves, y’all decide stealth is the best option. You start on the peripherals, catch stragglers or small groups here and there. Gale can actually silence a whole room while the others move in and take them out. Astarion is as efficient with his knives as usual.

Y’all find a guy in a cage, lamenting the new cult. Goblins, turns out, have their own god. One this codger (you can’t actually tell his age, but little dude’s talking like an old-timer) refuses to abandon.

Gale lets him out, too.

Eventually, y’all wind up in the main hall at the front, where some goblin version of a biker granny tries to brand you. And then tries to mind-whammy you. So she’s got a parasite. She calls you a “true soul” like them people you fed to the owlbear, and she’s one of them leaders Halsin mentioned, so you suggest y’all talk in private and she goes right along with you.

You barely get the door shut when Lae’zel skewers her. Literally. Sword punches clear through her back, out her front as she gasps, and then Lae’zel kind of flicks the blade. And biker granny falls to the ground in pieces.

“Jesus,” you say.

“We waste our time,” she says.

Biker Granny has a bedroom with another ogress in it (you wonder if it’s the same one hooking up with Man-Wolf, but she don’t seem to recognize you when she spots y’all). The fight is short but mean, and as y’all are looting around, Karlach busts down a door that opens to a spooky hallway. Which leads to an inner temple that puts a sneer on Shadowheart’s face.

“Not a fan of this goddess?” you say, looking up at a statue of a woman in some ancient robe ensemble.

“Selune,” Shadowheart says like a curse. A moon goddess or something. Shadowheart calls her followers hypocrites and a few other choice insults.

Huh. You notice Gale eyeballing her all speculative, but he don’t say nothing.

And then Karlach finds and presses a button that opens a wall. Faerun really, really likes the whole “secret hallway behind a fake door” bullshit.

Below is a fuck off chasm with a ladder disappearing into the gloom.

“Hell no,” you say.

But Gale surprises you by offering to float himself down—y’all watch until he’s swallowed by the gloom—and then fly himself back up. “It’s a Selunite outpost extending into what I heavily suspect is the Underdark.”

You zone out a little. It ain’t murdering the two other ringleaders, and it ain’t getting the worm outta your head, and it ain’t fixing whatever inter personal fuckshit is going on between you and…and everyone and each other.

You ain’t sure how to deal with the other two leaders. One is their general—something called a drow, and the others looks real grim about that—and the other guy is holding a fucking pep rally with another dozen goblins in a room around a dead squidward.

“Fuck,” you say.

Which is when you catch the words “spark powder barrels” and “enough to light the whole place up.” You turn. Find two goblins chatting in the corner.

“What’s this about barrels?” you say.

***

The thing about modern Earth warfare is that people got real, real good at killing other people from a distance. Sometimes even killing people who ain’t in the same room, or continent, as you. Faerun ain’t primitive—that word is loaded with all kinds of racist undertones anyway—but they’re still more used to killing with blades and arrows and spells.

Y’all find a way into the bomb room through Biker Granny’s quarters. You give her cooling body a wide berth.

You and Astarion have been ignoring each other since he chose the lookout option, and he now stands at the edge of the group, cleaning his knives. But you seen him sneak, and you seen him climb, and he’s the best man for the idea brewing in your brain.

And maybe he’ll take it as an olive branch?

(You got nothing to apologize for in snapping at him about Rack Guy. You stood up for yourself, and for Rack Guy. Anybody who’s got a problem with that is the problem.)

“Astarion,” you say.

And he ignores you like a petty bitch. So that’s going great.

Losing your shit ain’t never accomplished nothing. So you reign yourself in, walk over to him, and stop right in front of him. You try to keep your body relaxed and your tone professional. “Astarion.”

He deigns to look up. Give you a smile. “Ah, our illustrious leader. What may I do for you now?”

Murder or lockpicks. His only contributions.

Your righteous huff deflates just a little. That part was uncalled for. Breaking people down to what they can be used for is fucked up farmstead shit.

You really look at him, the minute hunch to his shoulders, the flat eyes, the tiny tilt of his head. He’s a bitch, but that don’t mean you have to be.

Fuck. Damn.

Well, no time like the present. You breathe deep and slow.

“I’m sorry,” you say, trying to ignore the others around you. “About what I said earlier. You’re a lot more than I gave you credit for, and it was outta line for me to suggest otherwise. It won’t happen again.”

Y’all might not be friends, but he’s still a member of the group, and you’d feel like a giant fuckhead going around and making bad feelings.

But…he just stands there for half a second. His face does something complicated—a frown, confusion, narrowed eyes—before settling back on his usual, fake smile.

“Ah, for that, I can only assume you require something outside of my usual repertoire?” he says.

Which…how the fuck does the dirt potion translate something into French??

And ouch. He really took that insult to heart, huh? Fuck.

You close your eyes. “I deserve that. Yes, I’m gonna ask you to do something. And leaving that guy was a dickhead move. But I really am sorry for, for implying that you’re only your talents. Which you have more than two, and that was me being a jackass. But I’m sorry, and you deserve to know it.”

Again, that careful blankness. It only lifts when you show him your baby bird of a plan, all small and ugly and shaking around in the mental nest. He snorts like he can’t help it, and for just a split second, something genuine skirts along the edge of his smirk.

“You’re forming a pattern, darling,” he says.

“If it works, don’t break it,” you say. “It’s how the empire back home deals with everybody.”

“That’s the second time you’ve mentioned something like that,” Gale says. “When this is over, you and I desperately need to have another sit down chat.”

So you can spill U.S. military tactics you learned from the internet to a wizard. Why not.

“And if I run into anyone else skulking about?” Astarion says.

You want to sigh, but don’t. “Still hungry?”

“Always, darling.”

“I guess as long as you ain’t dropping bodies outta the rafters…”

The man lights the fuck up, a kid handed a hundred dollars and let loose in a candy store. He scuttles up the closest ladder with what you can only describe as sheer glee.

“Turning a vampire loose in a den of goblins,” Shadowheart says. “I’m not sure which part is worse. Do you think he can drink himself into a stupor?”

“He got pretty sloshed the night when soldier here stuck her soul in a jar,” Karlach says. Catches your silent question. “While you went wherever it is you went to, old Fangs came back drenched in blood. Looked like he got in a fight with a bear. He couldn’t even stand straight. Then he saw you, well, dead, and he stormed off. Tripped over a root, too, which I only noticed cause he don’t normally do stuff like that.”

…huh. Okay?

Well, he seems to revel in your ideas (when they involve murder or being a shithead). He stopped when you told him to. He was an absolute bastard about it, and he later tried again. But when you told him no, he fucked off (which hurt, you’re beginning to realize, because you apparently have the emotional intelligence of a potato. It actually hurt).

“I think I trust him,” you say, looking up to where he disappeared. “With this stuff, anyway.”

***

Astarion returns with good tidings. There’s a path along the rafters right over to Door Rags and his pep rally. Gale has enough juice to help float up the barrels Lae’zel and Shadowheart can’t hoist up (Karlach looks on like a dog told to sit while you throw a ball). It takes a bit to get everything where you want, but y’all manage it.

You have to step over three dead goblins stuffed into a corner. Astarion catches your gaze and gives you a proud tilt of his chin.

See? it seems to say. Not raining down bodies.

You give him a thumbs up.

Then you sneak off with Wyll to a wall ledge overlooking the rally room. Spot another room off to the side with some magic, floating crystal ball.

“A watcher,” Wyll says. Up close, he smells of mint and some kinda herb—you ain’t sure if it’s soap, perfume, or something he uses in his hair. “Someone is keeping an eye on all this. We’ll want to take that out before any fighting starts. Blind whoever’s controlling it.”

“Can you do that?”

He gives you a warm smile. “The blade will strike true.”

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling, too. Then you catch voices, and inch further out onto the ledge. Across a wooden bridge, somebody moves. A woman in armor. An elf? Only she’s purple with a shock of white hair.

“The drow,” Wyll whispers, sinking into a crouch next to you. “She’ll likely be a powerful fighter. They’re known for their strength in battle. They kill any of their own who show what they consider a weakness. Which generally amounts to being kind or merciful.”

Because that worked so well for the Spartans.

Wyll must catch a look from you. You say, “I’ll tell you later. It’s stupid and impractical, and usually ends with a couple of people slapfighting each other for status while their nation can’t support itself anymore and collapses.”

And another idea blooms in your head. Which you share with him.

He considers a moment. Nods slowly. “Alright, it seems a sound strategy. I’m beginning to see a pattern with you.”

Which, what the fuck does that even mean?

But y’all need to move. The longer y’all camp out up here, the more likely somebody gets spotted. You both sneak back to join the others.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[blissfulstarsfics]

Black and White Chapter 6

Read on AO3

Chapter Rating: E

Pairing: A!A X Female Tav (Non-abusive fic.)

Summary: Karlach visits a hung over Tav and invites her to join some of her friends in the city. Now that Astarion has seen a glimpse into Tav's heart, what will he do when she returns from her outing? Will Tav let him have his way with her?

Tags: Astarion's past abuse, vaginal fingering, PIV, interruption

A parched mouth and throbbing head greeted Tav the following morning. She couldn’t remember exactly how much she drank, only that she utterly regretted her choices. A shaky hand drew the curtain and immediately threw it back. The beam of light sent a shockwave through her already aching skull. Laying back down, Tav had hoped to find reprieve in the down pillow, but a knock at the door sent a fresh ripple into her head.

“My lady?” The bard’s eyes stayed closed as Tibbi entered the room. There was a clacking of porcelain dishes, the pouring of liquid, and the tinny ringing of a stirring spoon. A pleasant aroma of citrus, mint, and turmeric filled the room. “My lady, the master had us send an herbal remedy for you.” Opening her eyes was a greater struggle than she wanted to admit. 

“Gods bless you, Tibbi.” Tav slowly propped herself up, stopping every few inches from the shooting pain. The maid held the steaming cup to her mouth and helped her take a few steady sips. Mercifully, the concoction didn’t taste awful. 

“Don’t thank me, my lady, it was the master who took care of you.” Tibbi set the now empty cup aside, “He stayed by your side most of the night. Kept you on your side. He even turned around when I changed your clothes.” This made her feel even worse. She already felt guilt over acting like a lush, the thought of said actions causing Astarion to lose rest made her want to bury her head in sand. 

The remedy proved to be an effective one. By mid morning the pain and sensitivity waned, leaving Tav with general fatigue and an overall imbecilic feeling. She could recall little of what happened the night before. All she remembered was a shouting match, a lot of brandy, a kiss.

And his rejection.

“Gods, this keeps getting worse and worse,” she thought aloud. An apology was in order. Tav got out of bed and put on some clothes. She sat in front of the vanity for a long time, thinking of what she was going to say to him. In the end, she thought short and concise would be the best way to go. 

Mustering her courage, she straightened her back and went to Astarion’s study. Before she was able to knock on the door, she heard someone clear their throat. She turned around to see Matteo peering around the corner. 

“The master is out today, madam,” he deadpanned. Just her luck, now she would have to stew all day over the matter. At least this would give her more time to recover from her hangover. She returned to her room and picked up her harp, wondering how out of practice she was. There was little time for songs in the hells after all. 

Plucking the strings was as familiar as conversing with an old friend. The melody softly carried through the mansion, sometimes soothing, sometimes invigorating depending on her ever flowing mood. She was in the middle of an upbeat tune when Matteo knocked on her door.

“My lady, Miss Karlach Cliffgate to see- AH!” The chamberlain was roughly pushed to the side as Karlach barged into the room. 

“Hey Soldier! Haven’t seen you in ages!” She sat next to Tav on the bench and brought her in for a bear hug. 

“Karlach, it’s been a tenday,” the elf laughed. 

“Yeah, but I’m used to seeing you everyday. Now Astarion’s hogging you all to himself!” She looked around the room, “And it seems like he’s treating you well. Fan-cy! He is being good to you, right? I don’t need to start sharpening stakes?”

Tav narrowed her eyes, “I’m not dead or undead am I?”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Listen, there’s these food stands in the Lower City and they’re amazing! Wyll and Shadowheart are already there. Let’s go!” Karlach took the harp and set it down, “We could invite Astarion, but I don’t think this is really his thing.” 

“He isn’t home.” She was right anyway. Walking around the Lower City eating street food wasn’t something Tav could see Astarion doing. However, Karlach’s suggestion might be a good idea for Tav. Catching up with her friends might take her mind off things, not to mention her stomach was growling. She got up and called for the chamberlain.

“Yes, my lady?”

“Matteo, if the master asks, tell him I’m out for the day with our old friends.” He silently bowed as the ladies walked by.

The Lower City was lively and bustling with people practically crawling all over each other. There were meats being roasted, doughs being fried, sugar being spun into animal shapes, eggs covered with sausage, and that’s just from what Tav could see. 

“Tav! Karlach!” Shadowheart waved, holding a small paper bag. Wyll was beside her with a turkey leg in each hand. The cleric cheekily moved Tav’s face from side to side with her free hand.

“No puncture wounds. Good. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to spend the day healing you.” Shadowheart smirked at Tav’s disapproving expression. Karlach took one of Wyll’s turkey legs and dug in.

“Mmm, this is so much better than charred mystery meat and hard tack,” she swooned, doing a little dance. 

“Or the boiled apple cores,” Wyll gagged. 

“Don’t remind me of the boiled apple cores,” Shadowheart wretched. Then, she drew an almond colored, deep fried cube from the bag, “Let’s wash away that memory with some deep fried butter.”

“Deep fried butter?!?” The very concept made Tav’s stomach turn.

“Look, if the Absolute didn’t kill us neither will this,” Shadowheart popped the cube in her mouth, “Hey, that’s pretty good!” She held out the bag for the others to try, but Tav abstained, “Too good for peasant food now that you’re lady of the manor?” 

The question was meant to be taken in stride, but Tav wasn’t in the mood today.

“I’m slightly under the weather, that's all. The after-effects of raiding Astarion’s liquor cabinet,” she smiled ruefully while the others laughed at her misfortune, “Enough about me, how are your parents, Shadowheart?”

The half-elf’s smile faded. She fiddled with another piece of the deep fried butter, tightly shutting her eyes. That said enough. When they rescued Shadowheart’s parents from Shar’s clutches, her mother was already in the early stages of dementia. The poor woman’s condition must be deteriorating.

“I’m sorry, Shadowheart,” Tav held her tight.

“Forty years she wasted away in that cloister, only to fade away like this. It’s not fair,” she cried. Tav pulled away and wiped her face.

“Then you make these days count, hm? Come on, it looks like we could both use some distraction today. Look,” she pointed at a couple of tables next to an ale seller, “Shall we place bets on how soon those get smashed?” Shadowheart half smiled and nodded. 

Karlach won the bet by bending the rules a bit. The other three made their guesses, but she yelled, “RIGHT NOW” and pounded them. By some miracle, they were able to fade into the crowd before she could get arrested. The rest of the afternoon went smoothly. Wyll kept their smash happy friend in check, they talked, Tav listened. 

“I’m thinking of leaving the city soon,” Wyll said out of nowhere, “The Sword Coast needs the Blade of Avernus,” he saluted, “The Absolute has been taken care of, but there are never ending threats to be put down. Tav? Karlach? What say you? Shadowheart, I’d ask you to join us, but I know you’ve got your hands full.”

Karlach nodded enthusiastically, “Fuck yes! You can count on me.”

“Perhaps when this is all over, I’ll come with you three,” Shadowheart mused. Funny how they assumed Tav would join them. 

“You mean those two. I’m staying in Baldur’s Gate,” she declared. They looked at each other, then at her.

“Tav, if you’re going to stay in the city, will you at least reconsider your current accommodations?” Wyll beseeched. Here we go, she thought. Shadowheart’s sentiments echoed Wyll’s.

“We’re worried for you. You don’t know what Astarion is capable of, none of us do! You are sitting in a viper’s den. Sure, you’re fine for now, but we don’t know when that will change. We don’t want you to become enslaved to him,” she pleaded. 

“It’s just a matter of time. You are playing a very dangerous game,” he added. Tav recalled the previous day, how Astarion’s rage had frightened her. She also knew from their sparring match how overwhelming his prowess had become. Could they be right? But, she also thought of how he looked after her. It was all so conflicting!

“I’ll keep it in mind,” was all she could think to say. They all sighed and looked downward. “I should be heading back. We should get together again before you leave.” She wasn’t sure if they would or not. Misgivings aside, she would like to see them again.

“I’ll walk with you, soldier.” Karlach was conspicuously silent during the exchange. The silence followed them from the Lower City until they were outside the mansion.

“Not gonna lie, I’m worried about you too, Tav. But, I do trust you, or at least I want to,” she scratched the back of her head, “Shadowheart was right about one thing. We don’t know Astarion or what can do, but I think you do. Or you think you do. I want you to be right, soldier. After everything we’ve all been through, we deserve happiness. Astarion included.”

It was heartwarming to hear a vote of support. Karlach may be more brawn than brain, but her time in the hells sharpened her insights. She could spot a devil a mile away, literally or figuratively. 

“That means a lot to me, Karlach. Thank you.”

“There you are, darling,” Astarion’s voice rang out. They hadn’t even heard him approach. He ran a finger down Tav’s cheek and smiled, “How are you feeling? Did the remedy work?”

“Ahh,” she laughed nervously, “It did. Thank you. I feel fine today, the day out helped.” 

“Good,” he turned his attention to Karlach, simpering, “Did she tell you what she did last night?” Tav’s face paled from embarrassment. She had hoped Astarion would refrain from telling the world that she drunkenly came onto him.

“What did you do, soldier?” the tiefling guffawed, eager for the story.

“She drank a bottle of my best brandy and followed it down with half a bottle of wine, then nearly fell through my tea table,” he shot a look at Tav while Karlach laughed hysterically. “Why, I had to personally care for her myself. It wouldn’t do to have our dear little bard pass on in her sleep after a night of overindulgence, would it?”

“That would have been a hell of an ending for the hero of Baldur’s Gate. Choking on her own vomit” she belly laughed, “And now poor Astarion has to restock his booze.”

“That’s already been done. I’m hosting a little party tomorrow night, you see,” Astarion casually mentioned, conveniently leaving out the nature of the little party.

“Oh yeah? Well if there’s more of that infamous brandy, I may have to crash the gate!” Karlach stood tall, playfully challenging Astarion to try and stop her. The vampire smirked, errantly.

“I’m not sure if you would like this sort of gathering-”

“Karlach, it’s an orgy.” Tav interrupted. Astarion shifted to one side, hand on hip in disapproval.

“I do prefer the term 'bacchanalia.’ Orgy sounds so crass and vulgar. Terminology matters, darling.” He waved his hand disgustedly. Karlach didn’t seem deterred by the revelation. Quite the opposite, actually. Astarion picked up on this and with a slight bow said, “Eight o’clock.”

“I’ll be there!” She clapped the two of them on their shoulders and skipped down the path, chortling along the way. 

The pit in Tav’s stomach returned. Now that it was the two of them, it was time to make amends. She followed him inside where the staff was running around in preparation for the morrow. Tav dragged him into a cramped alcove for privacy. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the closest and quickest option.

“Astarion, I owe you an apology. I behaved poorly last night.” Tav could barely look him in the eye.

“Go on,” he insisted, closing the gap between them. The light from the hallway accentuated his devious grin.

“I’m sorry. I don’t remember much of what happened and I’m sorry you didn’t rest because of me.” Her hands fidgeted at her sides. The one-sidedness of the conversation was making her uneasy.

“Have your mental faculties returned?” He tilted to the side to get a clear view of her face.

“Yes.”

“Good.” She felt his hands slide onto her midsection and quickly draw her in. In one fluid motion, he had her swept back, neck exposed. As he lowered his mouth to her throat, she expected him to feed on her.

“You were a very. bad. girl,” he pointedly whispered, kissing her neck. Her breath caught in her throat and her body froze. This was not at all what she expected. What had played out in her head was her groveling and him admonishing, possibly taunting her. Unexpected, but not unwelcome. Astarion pinned her against the wall and fiercely pressed his lips against hers. Tav felt his tongue probe and intertwine with her own in an exhilarating dance. 

A cold hand moved under her shirt and down her slacks. She had little time to stop him, but did she want to? All of her previous experiences told her to stop, there will be pain, this will be terrible, he will laugh at you, there will be regret. Give into the fear? Or not?

“Do you want me to stop?” His fingers rested on her labia, awaiting her answer. Tav briefly hesitated, then shook her head. She wanted this. “Good,” he purred, massaging her clitoris with his thumb. When she felt two of his fingers begin to penetrate, she braced herself. His measure started slow, careful, and not at all painful. Quite the opposite, in fact. 

Astarion’s smile widened, taking pleasure in his command over her. She closed her eyes, relaxed against him, and let him take control. Suddenly, he stopped.

“Godsdammit!” he loudly swore, composing himself. Peering behind her, she saw the chamberlain casually staring at them. The vampire glared at him murderously. “WHAT?” he shouted.

“The spawn has been assembled for court, Master.” Matteo bowed and left. Astarion threw his head back, hands on hips. 

“I need to take care of this,” he sighed as he exited. 

Tav was left standing there frustrated and, frankly, pissed off.

~~~~~

Matteo was extremely fortunate that he was damn good at his job, because at that moment Astarion was ready to brutalize the man. The idiot should have known better than to interrupt them. He burst into the ballroom where the spawn had convened. They trembled in the presence of their infuriated master. 

Tired and malcontent, Astarion sat ungainly on his throne. Five little vampires fearfully knelt before him. They were right to do so. Unless they had worthwhile news from their scouting missions, he would have them confined for the day. 

“Well?” he inquired, breaking the silence. The spawn all jumped in their places. None were willing to report first, dreading their master’s potential wrath. Growing exhausted, Astarion sat back on his throne and called them one by one. 

They had little to report, but what they did have was of great value. They learned of a new spice trade, illegal arms deals, a band of adventurers getting ready to flood the market, and most importantly, his mage detected diabolic magic from the Foxworth mansion. That part greatly pleased him. He smiled at the prospect of losing a rival without having to lift a finger. Clapping his hands, he stood up in a slightly better mood than he entered. 

“Excellent. You have all done well. Tomorrow you will be permitted to be in attendance if you so choose.” 

“Thank you, Master,” they muttered. Astarion’s eye’s furrowed.

“I can’t hear you!”

“Thank you, Master!” They responded with force. Content with the outcome, he went to his room. He sat in an upholstered armchair that faced the window. The sun had nearly set and the lamplighters were just about finished illuminating the dark streets. Children were being told to come inside by their mothers, gentlemen were making last minute conversation, young men and women were on their way to the taverns. 

It made him smile. Not the mundaneness of it, but the fact that they were all his. They just didn’t know it yet. This city, the people in it, they all belonged to him. He wearily settled into the cushioned material and before he knew it, fell into his trance.

Icy fingers delicately traced down the spawn’s freshly carved back. Cazador seemed to be inspecting his work, his “poetry.” The vampire was a perfectionist, thus he had been spending the night making necessary corrections in order to ensure that the sonnet he was “writing” for Astarion was exquisite.

“This will need to be redone,” he tapped a word written under the spawn’s shoulder blade. When Astarion made a small jolt, Cazador viciously struck him with the hilt of his blade, “Keep still, whelp!” Obedient to his master’s command, he took care to remain perfectly still, lest his master err, prolonging the session. Digging his fingers into the grime of the kennel floor, the torture was becoming  unbearable.  He wanted to cry out, but every time he inhaled the stale, putrid air no sound would come out.

A warm hand rubbed against his chest. The spawn didn’t know who it belonged to, nor did he care. 

“Please! Get me out of here!” He soundlessly begged. A ghostly voice called his name. Cazador struck him again, sending him to the ground. 

“Stop him! Stop him!” He pleaded. The voice kept calling to him until he jolted awake, panting and screaming. 

“I’m here. I’m right here,” she whispered, “You’re safe, Astarion. You won, remember? Cazador’s dead,” he felt familiar arms around him, holding him like she used to at camp. She rested his head on her shoulder and felt the warmth of her body permeate through her thin satin robe. How many nights did she hold him like this while the others slept? This was his one refuge-

No! That was when he was a powerless spawn in need of her protection. He was no longer the feeble creature he once was. He would not be looked down on. Not anymore. Abruptly, he stood up and turned his back to her, “Don’t look at me like this.” 

“Like what?”

“I am the vampire ascendant. I have been empowered by the souls of 7,000 of my kind, but that bastard still controls me from the grave. I will not be seen as weak or pitiful.” Soft footsteps approached him, and he felt a soothing hand take hold of his. 

“You’re not weak, Astarion. Healing takes time, a long time. And if you’re having a moment of weakness, who cares? It’s only me here and I’m not spilling your secrets. No one else can see you. It’s just us.” She was right, no one else was there. There were no campmates to come between them tonight. No annoying chamberlain. Tonight, she would be his.

“Tell me what I can do,” she said. He unbuttoned his shirt and cast it aside. Two unsteady hands traced along his scars, then there was a gentle peck between his shoulder blades. Astarion turned around and stared into her dilated eyes. He reached for the belt of her robe and untied it. The unwanted garment tumbled to the floor, leaving Tav splendidly naked.

“Yes,” he groaned, passionately kissing her.  He pulled her to the bed, savagely tearing his remaining clothes off. Astarion ran his hands over her sprawled body, savoring the moment. The pleasures of the flesh had been denied to her for so long, he almost didn’t know where to begin. He wanted to give her an experience befitting a queen. 

Tav trembled underneath him. Oh, what he had in store for her! She let out a soft moan when he rubbed the tip of his throbbing cock against her clitoris, circling her, reveling in watching her abandon her inhibitions. Astarion kissed up her neck, listening to her gentle whimpers as he prodded her. Tav’s eyes closed, her body became more relaxed. She was ready to receive him. 

The bard audibly gasped and her eyes widened when he thrust into her slick cunt for the first time. He took it slow at first, wanting her to get used to him. This was as much about her pleasure as it was his. 

“How is that, darling?” Astarion wasn’t used to checking on his lover’s well-being. In the past, he never cared about them enough to bother. 

“Good,” she panted. Excellent. He sped up his thrusting, settling into a steady rhythm, intoxicated at how she was lost in his touch. She was his. She was all his. She covered her mouth with the back of her hand, stifling her moans. He tore it away, pinning it down.

“I want you to sing for me, little bard.” And sing she did. He quickened his pace to the beat of her song, enraptured as the melody reached its crescendo. Her nails dug into his scars as she peaked, crying his name until he spent himself in her.

Time stopped. Astarion marveled in his handiwork. Tav lay underneath him a panting, quivering mess. 

“Are you satisfied, my lord?” she timidly asked. 

“I feel,” he closed his eyes, “powerful. Yes.” He laid next to her, basking in the afterglow.

“I've never felt that,” she meekly admitted, giggling and blushing. 

“You’ve…never had an orgasm?” Well, well. Feather in his cap. 

“No.” She cuddled next to him, resting her head on his chest. Astarion held her close, feeling quite virile. He wanted this moment to last an eternity. And it could, if she wanted it to. He imagined her with matching ruby eyes, sitting on his lap as they ruled the city. That dream was creeping ever closer to reality.

“Well, my sweet, that will be the first of many.” He brushed the back of his fingertips against her face, watching her fade into her trance. One round and the poor thing was already exhausted. Oh well, he supposed he would just have to help her increase her stamina. He pulled the silk sheets over her, protectively. The pieces were coming together. Soon, he would have everything.

Feel free to reblog, like, or comment. I love interacting with everyone. :)

[sweetestlittledarling]

Because I enjoy thinking about these things:

My Analysis of my second Tav: Willow (She/Her) Halfling Nature Cleric or Yondalla.

(all of these templates come from the wonderful Halkuonn on Kofi: Support Halkuonn on Ko-fi! ❤️. ko-fi.com/halkuonn - Ko-fi ❤️ Where creators get support from fans through donations, memberships, shop sales and more! The original 'Buy Me a Coffee' Page.)

So, to start off Wilow's has a lot of connection to the sun (her Halfling name meaning 'Bringer of the dawn') so her colors often reflect that in a lot of golds and sunrise colors. Plus, I love her in the gold armor in game. Her plant again connects to the sun with a sunflower and her animal is the morning dove.

Her scent I decided is an early morning thing (take that as you will) and her song is 'You are My Sunshine' by Christina Perri (which is a little on the nose, but it is a pretty song, and it makes me think of her mother). Her spell is Guiding Bolt which I used...a lot.

Now on to the relationships:

Originally, I had Haslin in mind for Willow but for some reason she felt drawn to Astarion as well pulling the vampire into a loving poly relationship that is both beautiful and probably gives him the most stress of his life.

Alright so starting off, Halsin is the most extroverted out of the bunch followed by Willow who is kind of a ambivert at times. Astarion is very much an introvert, most of the time not even wanting to be touched by many people. He often times needs his own space which his lovers are willing to give him.

Haslin is probably the most agreeable with Willow not far behind. Again, i feel Astarion is at the other end of the spectrum but that is a good thing because I feel him being argumentative is his way of reminding his lovers (who are both bleeding hearts) that they don't have to stick out their necks for everyone and that they need to protect themselves as much as everyone else. It's part of his love language.

I feel the most protective person is Halsin, literal papa bear. Both Willow and Astarion are a little more chill understanding each other's strengths and having faith in each other (which is not to say Haslin doesn't I just think his animal nature sometimes is a little more forceful).

Astarion is the most secretive (trauma related) while Haslin is the most outspoken not really seeing the need to keep secrets. Willow is in the middle being willing to tell her lovers everything though at times being a bit more a secret keeper of omission (like not letting anyone know that her adopted father is a dwarven billionare and having sisters).

Astarion of course is more formal, loving the fancier thing in life. I do think that Haslin is not accustomed to the fancy things but he's not against them (maybe enjoying a bit though needing to get back to nature soon to recharge that half of himself). Willow is kind of weird because she grew up a bit fancy, so she gets a bit ichy being forced back into that life.

Haslin and Willow both are kind of the middle for gifts vs favors while I think Astarion is more a gift kind of guy, maybe something shiny.

Astarion is more a quiet music guy though on occasion has been known to dance to a jig. The same with Haslin. Willow leans into the fun side of music.

Haslin I think is more a brawl person, not to say he doesn't have brains as he had a great one but his more animal nature, I think comes out in a bit more of defensive kind of way. Astarion and Willow on the other hand both are in the brain side, Willow a bit more so as she takes her time where as Astarion can get a bit frustrated when he doesn't think people are listening.

Willow and Haslin both are PDA people and enjoy snuggling while Astarion again sometimes needs his space, though in private he is a bit more loving and affectionate then he is in public.

Astarion is hot, no doubt about it while Haslin and Willow often fall into the cuter. I put Haslin there because while I believe he is built hot his attitude and love are 'cuter'.

Finally, all of them are kinky for the most part, especially with the bear XD.

And that is Willow <3

[thebearemoji]

My thoughts on the astarion romance (spoiler: they're not good)

Hoo boy going right from the wonderful bliss of karlach's romance to this.... dark mess of despair was a hell of a whiplash.

So I'm gonna assume if you clicked on that read more that you don't care about spoilers. If that's not true then dont read this. To be clear we're on the same page, astarion has two potential outcomes. You let him complete cazador's ritual and ascend to big boy vampire or you stop him from completing it.

The game made the choice to make a statement with the outcome of astarion's quest. If you don't break the cycle of abuse, then you're perpetuating it. Astarion after completing the ritual is much more cazador than himself. The romance takes this one step further, the only way to continue it if the ritual is completed is to willingly become astarion's spawn. The game implies in no uncertain terms that you will meet the same terrible fate he was so recently trapped in. Cazador's master tortured him. Cazador tortured astarion. One way or another Astarion will torture you.

He even has a line of dialogue after you reject him along the lines of "Of course I'm familiar with love. I would've tormented it out of you until you had nothing left if you'd let me." That's just the start. Just about every line to come out of a romanced evil astarion is stunningly toxic, he pretends to love you, threatens to leave you, all to get you to agree to become his spawn. You can even read his mind to find out he thinks you're degrading yourself by staying with him. It's stunningly dark, and part of me respects the writing for sticking so hard to their guns.

Speaking as a fan of roleplay focused games, this did take me off guard. I'm accustomed to games treating evil choices as options to explore your characters and develop a sense of gray morality. Because... it's a video game for fun and sometimes its fun to do silly pretend evil things and twirl my pretend evil mustache. But bg3 will occasionally treat evil choices as sins that the narrative will punish you for, sometimes immediately, sometimes later down the line. And astarion is undeniably one of these choices. A non romanced evil astarion is fine, i guess. but i know i'm not the only one out there who fell into the trap of thinking astarion could be the other half of my evil power couple.

I don't think this is necessarily inherently bad on its own. It severely reduces any desire I have to ever play an evil character again in this game, which sucks because I love minthara. HOWEVER

I got a bone to pick with the good boy astarion romance too.

So of course after the gut punch of evil astarion romance, I reloaded and made him the same good boy i did on my first play through. The subsequent romance scene is nice, and he gets the same beautiful heart-wrenching catharsis that made me sure he was the one I wanted to romance second in the first place.

But throughout all the later conversations, he keeps returning to this idea that he "seduced" my tav. ??? Where. From where I was standing, act 1 he propositions me for casual sex, my tav says yes. Afterwards he proposes continuing to have casual sex, my tav says yes.

And yet he keeps saying these words "I seduced you, manipulated you, used you." And the fact that he's admitting it is meant to show character growth.

But why is the game so determined to make my tav his victim??? Why are those my only two options? The dialogue choices didn't give me a way to say "you didn't manipulate me, I chose to be with you of my own free will, knowing what you are." There's nothing i can do to flip this narrative that my character was used and wronged, even though i dont believe she was. And that left the romance feeling very polarized, like there are only two lenses with which to view romancing astarion.

You are either his victim that he lies to for a grand majority of the game. he doesn't even like by his own admission, he claims he used you for protection. But he grows to appreciate all you did for him and even love you.

Or his helpless thrall, equal parts a victim but hell at least at that point you're embracing the kink of the whole thing.

Tbh, neither of those really do it for me.

In conclusion, astarion is an amazing character, I'm never romancing him again, and finally,

that is all

[thranduel]

Hello! I really enjoy reading your posts and thoughts. They're very thoughtful and correct.Therefore, I would like to know specifically from you, why do you think so many men don't like Astarion? They are ready to kill him even at the start or betray after meeting with the monster hunter. Is it some kind of inner jealousy? What do you think?

hello! first of all, thank you SO much!! that’s so sweet of you 🥺 i love making posts about characters i love so it makes me happy when people enjoy them too :’)

and secondly, i feel like there are a couple of different reasons why many men don’t like astarion, and i think it mostly comes down to homophobia, a bit of jealousy because of his popularity, and also the fact that they’re threatened by any characters who are bold enough to make moves against them

and just to be clear, this doesn’t apply to EVERY single person; not everyone is going to like him and that’s fine! he’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. but unfortunately many people dislike/hate him for silly reasons like this and i just don’t know how any of these things is enough to make you hate a character you didn’t even ATTEMPT to get to know. he is one of the most well-written and complex characters with such an incredible backstory and the potential to redeem himself and become an even better person (if you help him and show him love) and it’s so sad that so many people miss out on that because they immediately judge him :/

anyways, the first thing: homophobia. astarion has one of the most unique and distinctive voices, and he can be quite dramatic and sassy. his mannerisms can also be seen as flamboyant. many men don’t like this (i wonder why lol). he comes across as very confident and even a bit cocky at first, and eventually if you slowly gain approval with him, he will start flirting with tav… this has literally made some people have a meltdown 😳 obviously astarion’s sudden flirting makes sense from a story perspective, because we know he only attempted to get close to tav to seduce them and gain their protection at first. but they don’t know that, and i don’t think they care because they’re too busy being uncomfortable about it and think they’re being personally harassed. the moment men see a male character that likes men, they automatically freak out. even if they’re fine with the character otherwise, that’s enough to make them hate them (homophobia sucks!!)

in regards to jealousy, i notice this tends to happen a lot when a character becomes really popular, especially if they’re physically attractive like astarion. it’s like they feel… threatened? bitter? in fandoms, a lot of people are women too, and i think misogyny comes into play here. people simply don’t like when women enjoy things, and astarion has a lot of female fans, so men don’t like that. it’s very weird. women enjoying themselves and loving a fictional man makes them very angry for some reason

i also think some of them just get easily annoyed when a character is very bold and willing to defend themselves. they don’t think about other perspectives except for their own, and they feel threatened when another character is tough and willing to challenge them to the point where their first thought is to just get rid of them before even trying to get to know them

i’ve seen people say they killed astarion because he put a knife to their throat at the start (he literally thinks that YOU are a threat to him. of course he’s going to threaten you and ask questions?!) and/or because he tried biting them in the middle of the night. and look, i understand how bad that second one looks, but you immediately find out why he was so desperate and made that decision because it’s revealed in that exact moment that he’s a starving vampire. that doesn’t excuse it, but it explains it. obviously it would’ve been nice if he asked first, but again, he literally tells you why he was scared and why he couldn’t trust you. he was doing it for his own survival. sometimes you need to take two seconds to put yourself in these character’s shoes before immediately losing your temper. and yes, i understand pretty much any of us would immediately remove that threat if we were actually in the situation, but it’s a FICTIONAL FANTASY ROLEPLAYING GAME. unless you’ve specifically made a character who would make those decisions in the game (which is fine and understandable because you’re supposed to roleplay as your character), i don’t understand why people would let their actual feelings get in the way and get rid of one of the most well-written and complex companions just because he did some things they don’t agree with. like, you’re supposed to stop and think: “who is this guy? what are his motives? there must be a reason for this” rather than just immediately crying about it and going straight to reddit to complain about how horrible he is as a character when you don’t even know him

but anyways yeah that’s personally why i think a lot of men don’t like astarion and why they choose to get rid of him. this is mostly based on things i’ve seen on reddit and the way they go on about how much they hate him while being extremely dramatic about it lol

[not-so-lost-after-all]

Thank you sm for the link to the interview! Really interesting and I put Astarion into evil bastard box so that made me rethink a couple of things about him ^_^”

I wonder where his story will go and what his past actually gonna be

Hello Nonnie. I partly understand DnD fans who hate him just for the fact he´s a vampire and even vampire spawns are always chaotic/neutral evil. But their assumption is wrong in this case, I suppose. There is a precedent here, there´s been non-monstrous vampire in the lore before and Astarion could be another one due to his circumstances if you play your cards right.

What he says and does is still very much a defence mechanism. Some fangirls like to see him as this sexy master manipulator but he´s not that lorewise. He doesn´t care for and sometimes is amused by the suffering of others but there´s no devilish nature behind it. He´s a childish bastard and sees no reason for helping others when nobody bothered to help him (forgetting that even if there was anyone caring enough to help him against Cazador, there was no way they could). But Rooney himself mentioned that in his eyes, Astarion is not doomed by the narrative.

[another-rogue-trevelyan]

If you liked Dragon Age Masterlist

If you’re anything like me, you’re into niche market, high fantasy, single player RPGs, preferably with a historical setting and romance options. So if you’re looking for a new game, here I am with some suggestions!

Sorted by studio:

Bethesda:

Oblivion (2006)

“In the shadow of evil, a hero will rise from the ashes of a fallen empire. The gates have been opened, and the battle has begun. Only one thing can save the world from Mehrunes Dagon and the demonic hordes of Oblivion. The true heir of the Septim line must be found and restored to the Imperial throne. The fate of the world rests in the hands of one. Find him, and shut the jaws of Oblivion.”

The Elder Scrolls series were my gateway into RPGs and hold a special place in my heart. Oblivion features a wide open world, immersive combat, and the ability to customize race, class, and gender.

Skyrim (2011)

“The Empire of Tamriel is on the edge. The High King of Skyrim has been murdered. Alliances form as claims to the throne are made. In the midst of this conflict, a far more dangerous, ancient evil is awakened. Dragons, long lost to the passages of the Elder Scrolls, have returned to Tamriel. The future of Skyrim, even the Empire itself, hangs in the balance as they wait for the prophesized Dragonborn to come; a hero born with the power of The Voice, and the only one who can stand amongst the dragons.”

I have sunk so many hours into this game and still have not experienced all there is to experience. Just like Oblivion, Skyrim offers the ability to customize your character and find a play style that suits you. A huge open world offers tons of opportunity for exploration and questing. You could play this game many, many hours and not even touch the main quest if you wanted to.

BioWare:

Mass Effect Legendary Edition (2021)

Just do it. Just fucking do it I’m still sobbing I’ve never had a game wreck me in this way. I might possibly like it more than Dragon Age which feels sacrilegious to say but it was so good. You follow Commander Shepard (customizable) for three whole games and the choices have serious consequences. Also, romance. Truthfully this might be the most well written storyline I’ve ever seen in a video game. Also, same studio as Dragon Age.

CD Projekt:

The Witcher III: Wild Hunt (2015)

I’ll let the website description speak for itself, but Witcher III was good enough that I didn’t mind being forced to play as a man (those who know me know that I exclusively prefer to play women and often dislike games where I can’t do so)! The characters that make up this story are captivating and suck you into their world, leaving you with some tough choices to make. Also, bonus points for romance! (Yen is one of my all time favorite characters, Triss never stood a chance for me. Sorry Triss fans 😂)

Larian:

Divinity Original Sin 2 (2017)

“The Divine is dead. The Void approaches. And the powers lying dormant within you are soon to awaken. Choose your role in a BAFTA-winning story, and explore a world that reacts to who you are, and the choices you make. With five races to choose from, and an adventure playable solo or as a party of up to four, lay waste to an oppressive order in a world afraid of magic. Become the God the world so desperately needs.”

Full disclosure, I have not finished playing this one yet and will update when I do, but what I’ve played so far has been great! A classic, turn-based RPG that allows you a wide range of character customization. I find this game incredibly satisfying to be a rogue (my preferred class) because it lets me live my dream of throwing knives at people. Also, romance!

Baldur’s Gate III beta (2020)

“An ancient evil has returned to Baldur's Gate, intent on devouring it from the inside out. The fate of Faerûn lies in your hands. Alone, you may resist. But together, you can overcome. Gather your party.”

Fair warning, as of my most recent update to this post (March 30th, 2021) this game is still in a beta phase, which means it is NOT complete and has aspects that are missing, glitchy, or subject to change. With that being said, I’m so obsessed. It’s so, so good already and is only getting better. Another wide open world to explore with a group of companions with strong and sometimes clashing personalities, choices are abundant in this game and will affect how your party members think of you. This game so far gives me the feeling that choices are complicated and aren’t always easy to tell which is morally right, which I personally love. Also, I can be a sarcastic ass with a good heart, which is always fun. Astarion basically owns me now, but if you can resist him there are plentiful other romance choices as well! Customization is already a wider range than I’ve seen in most RPGs and they haven’t even finished the character creator yet, which has me SO excited for the finished product. Also - good hair?!??!! I love it!

Lionhead:

Fable III (2010)

“Lead a revolution to take control of Albion, fight alongside your people, and experience love and loss while preparing to defend the kingdom against a looming threat. Your choices as ruler will lead to consequences felt across the entire land.”

I’ll be honest, this one isn’t my favorite on the list, but was good enough to still make it! This game allows you to choose between playing as the prince or the princess on a quest to save your kingdom from itself, and then a greater threat as well. The game takes place in a kingdom loosely modeled after industrial England, and what did score it some major points were (SPOILER WARNING - skip the purple if you don’t want to know!) that the last act of the game lets you play as the monarch, where you are forced to make some tough decisions in order to save your kingdom. It is very easy to back yourself into a corner, pinch pennies in order to fund the army and save the kingdom, but make your citizens hate you because of it. You’re gonna have to be very, very careful, which is something I did really enjoy about this game. (I’ve heard Fable II was better, and that’s also on my list to try, will update in the future!)

Nintendo:

Fire Emblem Three Houses (2019)

“War is coming to the continent of Fódlan. Here, order is maintained by the Church of Seiros, which hosts the prestigious Officer’s Academy within its headquarters. You are invited to teach one of its three mighty houses, each comprised of students brimming with personality and represented by a royal from one of three territories. As their professor, you must lead your students in their academic lives and in turn-based, tactical RPG battles wrought with strategic, new twists to overcome. Which house, and which path, will you choose?”

Currently playing this one and I’m so addicted! This one is slightly outside of my usual taste but it has made me interested in playing more games like it. The player controls Byleth (you can rename them if you wish), who becomes a professor of combat and battle tactics despite their young age at a monastery and finds themself in charge of a house of students. Battles are tactics and strategy based and classes are highly customizable. I sunk like 30 hours into this game in the last three days. I won’t say more about the plot to avoid spoilers, but it’s been a ton of fun and also has slow burn romance

Spiders:

Greedfall (2019)

This game destroyed my soul in the best way and when I finished it I immediately started a new game to play it again. You play as Lady or Lord De Sardet, Legate of the Congregation of Merchants and effectively the right hand of your cousin, who has been appointed governor of your new colony on the island. While I enjoy the combat in this game, which allows you the choice between one handed, two handed, magic, and pistols or rifles (save that ammo for when you really need it!), this game focuses heavily on diplomacy and relations. Be careful what information you give to whom and how you treat every decision. The enemies you make early on might be people you need on your side later. I also love that choices aren’t always clearly right or wrong, and often are more complicated than they first appear. Even the best intentions can sometimes go awry.

Ubisoft:

Assassin’s Creed, Syndicate (2015)

“London, 1868. In the heart of the Industrial Revolution, lead your underworld organization and grow your influence to fight those who exploit the less privileged in the name of progress”

Another one that I’ll admit, I haven’t finished, and is definitely the odd one out on the list because it’s set in Victorian England, but I was having fun with what I had played so far before Greedfall distracted me. In this game, you alternate between controlling twins Jacob and Evie Frye as you explore and liberate London while meeting famous historical figures and running a gang on the side.

Assassin’s Creed, Origins (2017)

“Ancient Egypt, a land of majesty and intrigue, is disappearing in a ruthless fight for power. Unveil dark secrets and forgotten myths as you go back to the one founding moment: The Origins of the Assassin’s Brotherhood.”

In the spirit of honesty, I haven’t started this one yet, but I am so confident that I’m gonna love it when I do that it’s here anyway. I’ve purchased it, and will get to it soon, I swear! In the meantime, I wanted to put it here because I’m confident some of you will enjoy it. Will come back with a review once I know more.

Assassin’s Creed, Odyssey (2018)

“Write your own epic odyssey and become a legendary Spartan hero in Assassin’s Creed® Odyssey, an inspiring adventure where you must forge your destiny and define your own path in a world on the brink of tearing itself apart. Influence how history unfolds as you experience a rich and ever-changing world shaped by your decisions.”

Y’all this game owned my soul for a while. I’ve sunk so many hours into it. You have a choice to play as either Kassandra or Alexios and navigate the wonders of Ancient Greece. The world is stunning, the choices are important, and this game took a big step for the assassins creed series in becoming a true RPG. I can’t recommend this one enough, you should absolutely go for it!

Assassin’s Creed, Valhalla (2020)

“Become Eivor, a legendary Viking warrior. Explore England's Dark Ages as you raid your enemies, grow your settlement, and build your political power in the quest to earn a place among the gods in Valhalla.”

This game is brand new, hot off the press, and has already been a massive hit. I have only JUST started playing it and am about an hour in, but so far so good! It’s here on my recommendations list because of its wild popularity and because I’ve already enjoyed other games in this series, so I feel confident that some of my fellow dragon age fans will enjoy it. Will update again once I get further in.

Other games on my To Be Played list (otherwise known as things I don’t want to recommend because I know almost nothing about them but will update here after I know more)

-Pillars of Eternity 1 and 2

-Horizon Zero Dawn

-Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag

-Fable 1 and 2

-Kingdoms of Amalur

-Breath of the Wild

-Crimson Desert (not out yet but I’m intrigued)

[dragonswithjetpacks]

Campfire Conversations

-dragonswithjetpacks

Summary: Astarion is bored at camp. And his target for the night... is Ferelith. Through persistence and bribery, she indulges him in casual conversation.

Read here on Ao3.

Despite the three bedrolls she had placed next to the fire, Ferelith still found it difficult to gain any comfort. She rolled up one side, placed her pillows against, and even placed a rock behind them to prop them well enough to use as a backing. She sat upright, flipping through her book, sketching in magic symbols and making small notes. At her side was another set of smaller books, one she would thumb through on occasion to double check her accuracy. All was quiet other than the whispers from the fire, which was precisely what she had asked for. But then again, there was always one who was never too keen to listen to what she wanted.

"What are you doing?" he announced his presence, bending over her shoulder as he peered into her book.

Ferelith blinked disapprovingly, giving him a side glance from the corner of her eye.

"Ah, yes, you're quite right," he sighed. "I don't care... I'm bored."

Again, she said nothing, but he took her silence as an invitation. He stepped over the log onto her blanket, with his boots still on, making her cringe as the dirt made a subtle foot print. He sat next to her, propping himself on one of her pillows. It appeared it was not good enough. And he removed it, fluffing it to perfection before placing it behind him once more.

"That was accident," he winced at the wrinkled and dirtied mess he left in his wake.

Kicking his feet to the side, he straightened his corner and brushed the dirt off lightly. It mattered little, as she had already to planned to wash it the moment he placed his boots onto her finely stitched threads. Her annoyance was made quite clear with a loud sigh, her book slowly lowering to her lap.

"I suppose I'm the one lucky enough to oblige you tonight," her face was calm but he could feel the irritation burning into him. "What would you ask of me?"

"You could light someone on fire," he shrugged with his bottom lip sticking out.

Her eyes shifted upward in thought of the idea. "I could. But I'm afraid I'm not so amused by your form of entertainment."

"You would be if you'd let me show you," he raised a brow.

Much to his disappointment, the only reply she gave was yet another one of her famous blank stares. He wondered where she went sometimes when she looked at him like that. Any normal person would have thoughts filled with disgust, though that was only humorous and much to his liking. But Ferelith was different than most. The look was usually empty. It was only until recently he noticed her eyes would often widen and her lip would curl upward at one corner. At least he knew he got some kind of rise from her.

"Where did you get those books?" he asked when he noticed he was losing her attention.

Ferelith was not easily distracted. When she was focused, there was nothing that could tear her eyes away. He had discovered this, unfortunately, through a series of trial and error in an attempt to know her true nature. Most things ended in eye rolls, rarely out of annoyance, but mostly with sarcasm. There were also multiple occasions where he was completely ignored. Which he found rude, but reasonable. It was actually a bit of a surprise she was speaking to him, now.

"A bookshop," she replied, tilting the book back up.

"Not an ordinary bookshop."

Her eyes flicked in his direction.

"Let's see," he picked a few of them up, many no bigger than a pocket book. "Arcane, Illusion, Mystic Runes... my, my... these look handwritten for personal use."

"Put those back where you found them, please," she commanded without so much as a glance.

"These look like spell books," he began to flip through the pages of one. "If I had to guess, anyway. I'm usually decent at guessing, though."

"You know if you look through the grimoire of another without permission, you'll gain the hex of that grimoire."

He suddenly dropped all three. Ferelith smiled wildly, her eyes still scanning the runes in her larger book. He hadn't noticed before, but while she was writing with one hand, the other held a book in place, often darting to another to scour through it's pages. It was like they had to separate minds of their own. The hand writing or sketching was moving very fast, but her penmanship was impeccable. He leaned over - careful not to disturb her- and saw she was copying whatever she was scanning from the other, smaller books.

"These are your grimoires?"

"No," she replied.

"So how is it you are able to look at them?"

"I have permission."

"I don't understand how someone so straightforward can have so much mystery about them," he shrugged. "It's somehow both annoying and attractive."

"That's precisely the impression I aim for," she smiled again, smaller and sweeter this time.

The sigh that came from him was intentionally loud enough for Ferelith to look up from her work. She observed her companion pull himself onto his feet, placing his hands on his hips next to her bedrolls. He looked about the camp when suddenly, he had a reasonably good idea. She had hoped his walking away would mean he had given up. On the contrary, however, she watched him walk over to Gale's things and begin to rummage through them. Suddenly, Ferelith was intrigued with the rogue. More than likely, she was interested to see if he got caught. Unfortunately, he did not. Instead, he came waltzing back across the camp with a rather large pep to his step, a large bottle in one hand and a goblet in the other.

Careful not to defile her blankets a second time, he seated himself next to her, closer than before. He fought with the cork inside the bottle for a moment, but sent it sailing into the air with a loud pop with the edge of his knife. He poured himself a glass, brought it to his nose, and inhaled it deeply followed by a satisfying exhale. He looked to Ferelith, who had regretfully not been able to look away. He had to admit, he won half the battle. But as he held up the wine as an offering, he felt there was more of a fight to be had. Ferelith rolled her eyes. Reached over to a flat stone next to her blankets.  And grabbed her empty goblet. She reluctantly held it out as he poured the contents into her cup. There was no hesitance as she brought it to her lips, her eyes dropping back down into the book without any further acknowledgement to Astarion.

"I don't even get a thank you," he complained.

"Thank you," she said before looking into the goblet a second time. "This is actually... quite nice."

"I hear the words, but I don't really feel the gratitude."

Ferelith looked up, finally giving him the contact he craved. There was always something unsettling he found looking into her eyes. They were yellow. But not like fire or the sun... no. Her eyes were pale. Like that of a once green plant craving attention; something to hydrate it, nutrients from the soil, or even just love.

"Fine," she said, tapping the ink to make sure it was dry before snapping the book shut. "I will indulge you."

"Words I've been waiting for all night," he shook his head and leaned forward.

Ferelith sat her work beside her, pulling her knees up and turning to her side. Her robe was of black lace and didn't do anything to add to comfort or practicality. But if there was one thing the traveling band of misfits learned about the warlock, it was that she wasn't always about the practical use of an item. She was very fond of beautiful things. And as she considered Astarion, she was inclined to admit the she was fond of his beauty as well. He knew this, using it to his advantage and tempted her at every chance he received. Ferelith was fully aware of the predicament she had somehow placed herself into. Which gave her more reason to ignore him. And as obvious as she made it, that did not prevent him from trying. Relentlessly.

"Tell me about the books," he said, propping his arm onto the rock they were leaning on.

"They were the last of a collection I was working on in the city."

"Anything interesting?"

"Just old spells and runes. Nothing anyone uses anymore. I've been transcribing them. They're spell books of old witches: long forgotten, tossed aside, half rotten old books."

"Witches you say?" he recoiled.

"Oh, yes. I believe there are a few useful things in here for banishments of the undead. If you're interested."

"Gods, no," he laughed, taking a sip of his wine. "But tell me more."

"I have one necromancy tome," she rolled over onto her knees. "And it's interesting. Not what I'm looking for, but interesting," she began to fan out her collection on the blankets.

Astarion leaned forward to examine them further.

"My job at the bookshop was to take these old grimoires and write them down into the bigger blank tomes. The ones that I found useful, I kept for myself. This is what is left of my findings. And the remains of my last project."

"What did you mean by 'what you were looking for'? Is there a certain spell you're seeking?"

"Not necessarily a spell. Just a translation."

"Have you had any luck?"

"A few words here and there."

"May I see the book you're translating?"

"Absolutely not," her eyes felt as cold as her reply.

"Ah, I see I'm reaching my limit for the night," he said with a tone of disappointment.

Astarion had grown accustomed to his interactions with his warlock companion being cut short. Rather it was her own doing or the work of another, he found their conversations always disrupted. It was a shame, truly, as he assumed Ferelith was the type to hold secrets. Even some that did not belong to her. The woman had been alive for quite sometime, though not nearly as long as he had. But he imagine there was something worth telling within the few lifetimes she had lived.

"Not necessarily," she replied lightheartedly. "After all, you've found this lovely bottle of wine."

"Humoring me for the sake of the wine, then?" a brow went up in confidence.

"I doubt I'd humor you for little else," her smirk was mocking his excitement.

"Remind to thank Gale in the morning, then," his mood went undisturbed. "I'd like to know how it is you intend to humor me now that books are off the table."

"Is that all you think I talk about?"

"I don't know," he shook his head, knowing she took the bait. "I've never heard you have a full conversation. With anyone."

"I converse very well, thank you," she took a sip of her wine. "I've just been lacking good company."

"You wound me," he lowered his gaze, but the tone was of sarcasm and he watched the corner of Ferelith's mouth turn upward.

Success.

"What is it you wish to discuss?"

"Discuss? I've no taste for lectures, my darling. I require something a bit more refined, something provocative. Tell me something interesting."

"Something interesting?" she appeared to be offended, her voice raising in pitch. "Well for one, when you strike a conversation with a person of interest, it's usually polite not to demand it from them."

"Very well," he rolled his eyes. "Tell me something interesting, please. I know you've got something just waiting to be told."

"If you're looking for exciting tales, I'm afraid you've come to the wrong colleague."

"No? Nothing, say, of your youth?"

"I assure my you, my early years are beyond dull."

"Surely not," he tilted his head down. "You have nothing? Dangerous spells? A jilted lover? A need for vengeance? Everyone has a decent vengeance story."

This time Ferelith laughed, tilting her head to the side away from him. But the sight of the smile caused him to straighten where he sat, leaning forward to see it fully. She rose a hand a to cover her mouth, but it was not enough for him to go without noticing... she was embarrassed.

"No vengeance here, I'm afraid," she looked back to him, her eyes meeting his. "But I suppose if you're interested in a horrible love story, I could tell you of my stay in Neverwinter..."

"Horrible as in tragic... or horrible as in just bad."

"Both," she nodded a finger to him.

"Even better!" he seemed overjoyed.

"Fine, fine. But I'll need a refill," she said passing her goblet to him.

Like the gentleman he was, he poured it for her. A bit too close to the edge, but he was eager for her to start the story to notice. She took a long drink, letting the contents give her the courage she needed. This was a bit of a defeat for her, but she was willing to let it go for the sake of his amusement. It was something to catch her attention, but to make her laugh was a feat of it's own. There was a sliver of a thought that perhaps she had misjudged him.

"This story is so humiliating. I can't believe I'm telling you," she shifted in her seat.

"Get on with it, then," he urged her to continue.

"Mind you, I had never been to a city before. Not even close to one. And I had just gotten a taste of what it felt like to wield magic. I found myself in the streets of Neverwinter in search for more knowledge. But I had no idea how to survive. There were so many others like me, just a crowd of beggers looking for work."

"Yes, I am aware. There are plenty of people swimming the streets looking for a better life in the city. A plague on society. Honestly."

"Indeed," Ferelith sighed, recalling the annoyance of the people who tormented her for those years of her life. "I offered my services. But found little coin in it. No one took my work seriously and no one was willing to give me the chance. I found myself resorting to other means of earning an income. Means that required a certain charisma."

"The vagueness of your statements is dramatic, but do go on."

"I acted as a smuggler," the bluntness returned. "It gave me good coin and the jobs I was hired to perform often involved a change of wardrobe. I was no good with the actual act of stealing or sneaking. A sleight of hand on occasion, but never anything that tactful. I was only a cover for whatever it was that I was charged with moving. It eventually earned me enough to rent a loft where I proceeded with my studies and transcribing work."

"Just a moment," he held out a hand to pause her. "The coin from working jobs like that... I don't believe that's enough for what had acquired."

"You are aware there are other ways of obtaining what is needed," the complacency in her tone was met with a guiltless stare. "Seduction."

"I'm starting to believe this woman you speak of is no longer with us," he teased with an exaggerated smile. "This talk of charisma and seduction, I've yet to see it."

"It's not for you to see," the wrinkle of frustration set on her brow and she turned her head, taking another long drink of wine. "I was young. And equally ignorant."

A long pause fell across Ferelith as she looked down into her cup. She could feel the affects and wished it would make the rest of the story a bit easier to tell. It was only a reminder of her failures. She wondered why she chose this to tell of all things. A jilted lover was not worth what she lost. With a deep breath holding back her hesitancy, she pressed on.

"There was a man who requested my services. He was a young human noble from a prosperous family of wizards. Nothing to himself, really, but he had access to the city. The fool that I was decided he was an easy way out of the slums. I charmed him, convincing him he was infatuated with me. And when it wore off, he was too polite to deny that he had invited me out for dinner."

"Commendable, if not a questionable choice," Astarion hid his surprise.

"The idea was to charm him at least in the beginning. And it worked," she shrugged. "I had charmed him enough times that he had fallen in love with me. Not entirely on his own, but still... it was his decision to place a ring on my hand."

"A ring?" he nearly choked on his wine. "You were betrothed?"

Ferelith slowly shook her head.

"You were married?"

"I was," her reply was far too calm for his liking.

An image flashed into his head. A memory he had once borrowed from her. He recalled the face of a young elven. Handsome. Proper. Filled with joy. But the way she spoke of him did not reflect the feeling he had felt when she looked at him that night. Then again, it was a human she had wed.

"Well," he cleared his throat. "I've dealt with this sort of thing in the past, but I don't think I've-"

"Astarion," she cut him off, causing him to look at her. "He's dead."

"He won't be a threat, then. Good," his face lightened. "Not that I was worried. But his death makes things much easier."

The sweet smile of hers came back onto resisting lips. The flirtatious advancements were completely unnecessary, as she was already glowing with a buzz from the wine. She blamed that rather than admitting she was getting any sort of feelings from Astarion at all. His confidence told him otherwise and he refused to be wrong. The more straightforward he was about it, the further it would take him.

"You didn't kill him, did you?"

A laugh burst from her, nearly causing her to spill her wine. "By the Hells, no. It's been nearly twenty years since his death, Astarion."

"I'm only making sure," he shrugged, a victorious grin spreading. "One can never be too careful."

"I take it your life has been threatened by other lovers of your past?"

"Other lovers?" he snapped his head, his brow lowering and his eyes watching her reaction deviously. "Are you considering yourself as a lover?"

Ferelith opened up her mouth to object. But her thoughts had halted her from answering. She did, in fact, word her previous sentence to include herself. Deciding there was no way around, she stared at him blinking unapologetically.

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

"No," she found herself unable to hold back.

"It's too late, I've already taken the first answer into consideration. And I'm very pleased to accept. You can't take it back, darling."

He took a sip of his wine, quite satisfied with the outcome and himself. Ferelith was not finished. However, the night had seemed rather pleasant and she felt genuine joy from their conversation. She allowed him to have his victory, if for anything, for making her laugh. It would be nice to have at least one good thing to remember him by if there ever came another time she considering slitting his throat.

"You'll have to tell me about them," she swirled her goblet.

"They're not important," he waved a hand casually. "Besides, you still haven't finished your tale."

"It's nothing, really," she looked down, not wanting to go into further detail."I lived the luxurious life of a noble for sometime. But it wasn't enough for me. I was greedy, stealing from the hands that were already willing to give."

"Naughty girl," his eyes widened.

Again, Ferelith smiled. "I was eventually discovered with nothing to blame but my own pride. I left behind everything. All my work, gone. Everything I cherished, gone. All my beautiful things... gone."

"Do I sense a bit of regret?"

The smile faded into a disgusted frown, a crease forming at the bridge of her nose. "The only thing I regret is allowing another man to become involved. If it wasn't for him, I would have likely inherited my own estate."

"And so the plot is revealed," Astarion tilted his goblet. "Alas, the husband was not the jilted lover after all."

"No. Just an impatient fool."

"So... you did intend to kill the husband."

"For purposes I'd like to remain unknown, I refuse to acknowledge you," Ferelith sat down her empty goblet. "But I feel no guilt for him. Either of them. I am only convicted with my own stupidity for allowing myself to lose everything that I had worked so hard for."

"It's a shame to lose such status... but still, there's nothing wrong with a fresh start," he replied flatly.

"Sometimes," she said with a sigh, "you must be stripped of everything before you can know true power."

Astarion looked at her with a cause for concern, noting the kindness in her voice. He seemed surprised and even somewhat shaken, lacking a voice for a response. But he quickly recovered and the usual smirk crept onto his face.

"If that's a way to say you'd like to remove my clothes, then I'd love to know your true power."

"Alright," Ferelith placed her hands across her lap. "I believe I've had enough for one evening."

"Already?" he whined. "We haven't finished the bottle."

"You are more than welcome to finish it... alone."

"No, no," he sat it down beside her. "You'll be up all night working. Take the bottle and relax. You've earned it."

"I'm flattered," she took the bottle by the neck. "Good night, Astarion."

The elf rose to his feet, dusting off his knees, leaving behind the empty goblet he brought with him. He gave one final bow to his companion.

"Good night, my darling."