#and spend time w him b4 passing out)

[child-ofdust]

i should make a chart of which f/os would not understand the disorder part of sleep disorder and insistently try to fix my sleep schedule & which ones would just insist on sleeping w me / try to work around it

[angeltrapz]

oosdkk dude im sorry ur mood dropped too.. i hope u feel better soon <3 but like i wld love 2 hear more abt ur thoughts on Art in general bc Boy Is He Interesting, and also a lil more abt Daniel coming out as nonbinary to his dad (whether he knows Eric is trans or not at that moment skjdfhdskf)! + if ur feelin it just more abt Mallick in general ESP cuz we agree that Brit doesn't make it thru V

djhfjdks thank u sm <3

okay Art first. I genuinely wonder abt him so much, something in specific I think abt is that aside frm Amanda (+ Eric, obviously, but talkin abt disciples) Art is one of the only trap victims EVER 2 be tested twice and it’s like... what’s that abt? Why? as u’ve said b4 it rly depends on how you personally view his character: whether he’s a disciple or not. fr me, both options are equally plausible, n honestly I don’t rly confine myself to either; it sorta depends on what I’m feeling/writing. if we’re talking abt art being a disciple, then the Spinecutter not going off (one of my BIGGEST questions) makes total sense, as Hoffman’s side of the trap was never set up to work either, + Jigsaw disciples have a history (aside from Lawrence) of appearing as victims in other tests/traps. if he were not just another pawn and was in fact a disciple himself, then the Spinecutter was never meant to go off - it was there just to make Eric think it COULD go off/make it look convincing to outsiders. which brings me to ANOTHER question: what does Art know abt Eric? does he know anything? what does he think of Eric?

(lil side note: if Art is a disciple, then I kinda wonder if it’s a lil bit of a Hoffman + Lawrence situation where Hoffman didn’t know abt Art either? just bc he looks so shocked when he sees Art’s face fully fr the first time... that could’ve just been acting on Hoffman’s part but IDK. food fr thought)

personally, I feel like Art probably does know a lil bit abt Eric - at the very least, he’d know tht Eric had been previously tested + failed by John’s rules, but then I feel that he wld also know Eric didn’t rly have a chance in his second test. that is why Art trying so fucking hard to keep Eric alive is interesting 2 me: what is his motivation 2 do that? like he’s been told Eric’s basically just there to get Rigg to participate, he doesn’t have any personal obligation or anything like that. sure, the aim is to keep Eric alive + see if Rigg can pass his “test,” but nobody said anything about grabbing a man you barely know around his ankles to keep him frm hanging himself w a noose made of chains. nobody said anything abt speaking to him so softly, not even raising your voice beyond saying “hey,” and asking him do you understand? when you tell him to keep still and prevent him frm killing his counterpart (which, if Art is a disciple, he knows it won’t, but he still speaks to Eric so softly, so compassionately, doesn’t he?)

nobody said anything abt grabbing him around the waist and steadying him again after being punched by said man. but Art does that. he stabilizes Eric’s feet on the ice as best he can and he keeps his hips straight and he basically says “look, we’re all stuck here, you need to keep it together ‘til that clock counts down if you want us to live, but I’m giving you a choice,” and he presses the gun w the single bullet into Eric’s hands and tells him it’s up to him. nobody said Art had to care but he does, I think, and it’s just like. he really didn’t have to keep Eric alive over the course of Rigg’s test. he didn’t. but he did and I just,, where does it come from? why does he care? this is even going beyond the fact that we’ve talked abt them being together after their test in a scenario where they both survive - I just think that Art at his core is a very stubborn but very compassionate person, whether he wants 2 be or not. like he HAS to know that kind of involvement cld prove to be extremely detrimental but he cares. I feel like that says a lot abt him (even if he does call Eric an asshole a couple times while doing it,,).

plus I also just. I think his reason for being tested (as it seems to be in most cases) is extremely flimsy. he was doing his job. he’s a LAWYER. often times it has nothing 2 do w personal feelings; they’re there to do their job and sometimes, unfortunately, that is defending possibly reprehensible people (in cases like Rex’s & Ivan’s). + John was already upset w him regarding their argument abt the urban renewal group so like it just feels So Very Petty, y’know?? even in the scenario where he IS a disciple, testing him twice seems entirely like John having a personal vendetta against him. Amanda is the only other person to be tested twice aside from Eric, so like. what. is that abt Mr. Kramer.

like I’ve said b4 in dms one could argue that Art is grey morally, bc we never rly see anything of him outside of flashbacks + acting as a test controller in IV, esp given that he... rly doesn’t seem too bothered abt it all? which is fair. but I also feel like the concern he shows towards Eric is smth to be considered as well.

-

+ YESS NONBINARY DANIEL I know I’ve mentioned it b4 but for reference, I read Daniel as masc nonbinary (he/they)! so I feel like Daniel wld b pretty comfortable w his identity, he’s never rly had a reason not to be (it’s rly anyone’s guess here tho bc we never see Eric + Daniel + Kate... as a family unit, for obvious reasons), so I feel like he’s vry chill abt it? and in the scenario where Eric survives n is dating Adam, I feel like Daniel wld talk 2 him abt it first (Adam is an adult they quickly come to trust + he’s vocal abt being trans himself so there’s that added layer of understanding - other than his mom maybe Adam might b the first person they come out 2). they’re just kinda like “so I wanna tell my dad I’m nonbinary but like I’ve literally never thought abt coming out what do I do” and Adam’s just like. Aha. bc he knows Eric is Also Trans so like, he doesn’t tell Daniel that bc it’s not his info to share, but he’s definitely like “oh it’ll totally be fine. trust me you have no reason to worry” so Daniel’s just like Okay. I Got This

+ I know I mentioned this in dms but Daniel wld absolutely wear those floral ripped hem skirts over jeans, so I feel like on one of his visits to his dad’s, he just. wears that combined w a completely random niche graphic tee he bought when shopping w Adam (I adore this hc n I am Holding Onto It) n is just like. not super open abt it bc he doesn’t know what to expect? he just kinda waits fr Eric to comment on it but when he doesn’t, Daniel gets nervous n is like “do I look okay?” and Eric’s rly chill abt it, like “yeah! it looks vry cool, vry alternative.” n like Daniel is relieved, of course, but also he’s just like God Pls Say Something so he just comes out w it like “okay this is not working. I’m nonbinary.”

and he’s COMPLETELY SHOCKED when Eric is just like “oh why didn’t u say so? do u have a different name u wanna go by? is Daniel still okay?” bc he wasn’t sure how much Eric knew, so he’s just like “uh no Daniel is still good, he/they pronouns though” and Eric’s just like alright cool but internally Daniel’s just like ??????

n THAT is when Eric asks him 2 come sit out on th front steps w him n is just like. “I don’t think I ever told u this but I’m trans. I transitioned during training in my early 20s” n Daniel is nodding while internally he’s like Adam I’m gonna throttle u. he worked himself up fr NOTHING. he just kinda laughs abt it and Eric is like “are u good?” ‘cause he’s a lil worried but then Daniel just smiles and is like “yeah I’m fine! just realizing I had nothing 2 be worried abt” and it’s a rly good moment fr them. they sit out there together talking abt their experiences for quite a while n at some point Adam steps outside 2 find them deep in conversation + he just smiles n goes back inside bc he cares abt them both so much and seeing them talk like that makes him so 💞💞 (Eric is SO PROUD u can see it on his face)

-

ohhh gosh Mallick,,, I spend a lot of time thinking abt him actually. he’s just one of those characters I feel vry connected to (me 🤝 Mallick: Ambiguous Disorder 💕) n one I got surprisingly attached to? hello (he IS one of my f/os)

I feel like Mallick is a very lonely person at his core. the way he sort of clings to Brit (w out the whole like. adrenaline of being in very very real danger w ppl trying to kill u SEVERAL TIMES) somewhat confirms this fr me. this is someone who has no reason to look out fr him, no reason to keep protecting him when their fellow captives hit him over th head w a club or attempt to push him into a bathtub to ELECTROCUTE him, but she keeps doing it and he’s just. in awe of it a little bit? ‘cause she could just let Charles knock him tf out or let Luba push him in but she fights for him, some1 she has no obligation to n met fr the first time literally when they woke up.

the moment they share b4 they stick their arms into the saws to activate the 10 Pints of Sacrifice is so very vulnerable and maybe even a little tender. yes he calls her a monster, yes she calls him one back, neither of them deny it. it’s an admission and an acceptance. they’re monsters, sure, fine, okay. but they are monsters and they are in this together. Brit tells Mallick it’s okay when he says he can’t do this alone. she says okay, okay, it’s okay, we’ll go together. and they help each other secure their tourniquets and they stick their hands in together bc it’s the two of them, literally hand in hand, fighting for their lives n for each other n they’re in so so much pain but they are doing it TOGETHER. I lose it thinking abt it!!! they even have a head bonk moment!!! I very much feel like it has some cinematic parallels to Adam & Lawrence’s moment in SAW 2004!!!!

+ as u mentioned, we both share the thought that Brit likely died since she wasn’t present at Bobby’s meetings, and. I want to touch on how fucking despondent and lost Mallick looks when we see him again in 3D. lights on but no one’s home. I feel like for Mallick, losing Brit was losing the first chance at a real connection he’s had in god knows how long - and for him, that’s just very shattering. he’s been thru hell, he’s watched three people die right in front of him, he sawed his ARM IN HALF, n the person he went through all of that with didn’t make it. but he did. and I feel like for Mallick that’s just like... he doesn’t understand it. but he feels even lonelier than he ever has b4 because the One Person who was there w him thru it all, the one person who could ever possibly understand what happened that night, is gone.

the Mallick we see in V would NEVER sit down n willingly listen to Bobby Dagen’s bullshit abt loving yr scars n taking pride in the fact u survived. he wld hate that man with a passion n I am very much sure of this. the fact that he’s sitting in that chair looking numb and glassy-eyed and silent? Mallick is trying to find some1 to connect to, find a place where maybe he belongs. trying to fill that hole that losing Brit made. why else wld he be sitting there, listening to someone he would ordinarily tell to shove his self-love bullshit up his ass? he’s lost. he’s just trying to keep his head above water and find a way to shore even though everything in him is fighting not to. he’s adrift without her.

+ ALTERNATIVELY, bc the reality of that is just. crushing n maybe not where I needed 2 go, in the scenario where Brit survived + just doesn’t want to put up w Bobby’s bullshit, I imagine them to actually move in together after a lil bit of time getting 2 know each other better w out the pressure of “oh god we’re gonna die.” she kinda helps him build up a sense of self-worth bc GOD it’s practically non-existent n thinking abt possible reasons why makes me sad. she’s definitely just like “no, you do deserve to be cared for and you deserve help when you need it, you deserve good things n to be happy.” she just kinds shuts it down while still making sure to talk 2 him abt WHY he feels that way (she’s not dismissing, but she’s trying to nip it in th bud) n Mallick is just like. huh. bc no one’s really done that fr him before. but it rly does end up helping in the long run, even if it is a very slow pace toward actually getting 2 a place where he recognizes his own worth + realizes he deserves all the things he wants Brit 2 have too. they’re there for each other thru thick n thin and if they made it thru their game, they can make it thru anything.

[studentlulu]

"Encanto" Song Post Regarding "Dos Oruguitas"

These r my thoughts regarding the song "Dos Oruguitas", just an opinion piece. As a forewarning, this post does mention family death, cancer, depression, and suicidal thoughts. If any of those r triggers 4 u, I would advise u 2 plz proceed with caution b4 reading.

When I heard "Dos Oruguitas" while watching "Encanto" in theaters with my family, I cried very hard. 😢😢😭 I honestly have no idea what the rest of my family was thinking while we were watching tho.

As I watched, I was thinking of my mother and my late father. He died when I was 17 of cancer. Watching the scene from Abuela's life when she was younger, when she was telling Mirabel that she thought she'd lead a different life and b a different woman, from her meeting Pedro 2 bcoming a mother, made me think of my own mom, and the life she probably thought she'd have.

My parents met as teenagers and got married in '93. Sadly, my dad got diagnosed with cancer later in his life and passed away. 😔 while my mother never regrets the time she spent with my father, nor does she feel she got the short end of the stick in life, I'm sure she imagined a different future with him when they got married. She probably thought she'd spend the rest of her life with him and they'd grow old 2gether.

Watching the scene where their village got invaded, then seeing Alma and Pedro being forced to leave their home and flee, made me emotional. I couldn't help but think of my parents l8r in life after my father's terminal illness got worse. They probably thought of the life they'd had so far 2gether, and the one they'd wish they'd get, but would never b able 2 have. Similar 2 how Alma and Pedro thought about the life they'd build, only 2 have 2 throw that dream away. While my mother never regretted spending her life with my father, she probably wishes she got more time with him b4 he died.

Watching Alma grieve after losing her husband was a gut punch 4 me. I cried so hard bcuz I thought of how depressed my mom must've felt after my dad died. 😭😭She probably was lost, wondering how she'd go on after losing her soulmate. How do I carry on? How am I supposed 2 take care of my family w/out my other half? Can I ever open my heart 2 love again? I l8r learned that at her lowest point after my father's death, she srsly considered ending her life or not going on. What prevented her from doing that was her own two kids. Remembering that she had two children that still needed her pulled her out of her depressive state.

When I later found out that "Dos Oruguitas" was a song about two caterpillars that go into life 2gether, that want 2 stay 2gether, but r afraid of change, I compared it 2 my own parents. How they faced life 2gether and expected 2 b able 2 stay 2gether; that no matter what curveball life threw at them, they'd b able 2 face it 2gether as long as they had each other, but how they never saw this curveball coming. How r u expected 2 deal with the adversary of not having a partner 2 help u deal w/life's adversaries?

Dealing with the challenge of losing my father w/out him around 2 help us thru it was probably the biggest challenge my family had 2 deal with at that point in our lives. We struggled a bit, I will admit it wasn't easy. I remember we got upset with each other over simple things like not telling each other about our schedules, but we managed. The new normal would no longer b the same w/out my father around, but we learned that we r capable of going thru adversity and change while weathering the storm. That we r capable of picking ourselves up after tragedy. And that's y "Dos Oruguitas" is my favorite song from "Encanto". Not only did it allow me 2 feel all these emotions, but it also allowed me 2 acknowledge my grief over the death of my father, while realizing that I am capable of going thru difficult change and coming out a stronger person

[nerdyfangirl67]

Lean On Me - Criminal Minds Reader Insert

Pairing: Emily x reader (platonic - best friends), Rossi x reader (platonic, almost fatherly relationship)

Warnings: Emily’s death, feelings of sorrow, anger, and denial, angst, includes headcanon thoughts about Emily and Morgan gaming duo, generally dark and kinda angsty.

Word count: 1238

The reader doesn’t know how to process Emily’s death and a mysterious friend online just might be the answer.

A/N: The URL , hotzzforHotch, from the story belongs to the reader, with the other URL, vonnEgutgrouPi70, belonging to the “myserious” stranger. Hope you guys like the story! If y’all want to see something written, let me know and I’d gladly give it a go!

“Everybody needs somebody to lean on.” She had told you that once and you had found out quickly that you always had her to lean on. She was easily your best friend and the person you trusted most in the world. You hadn’t known each other exceptionally long, only four years. But the two of you had hit it off the moment you met and ever since then, you spent much of your free time together, quickly becoming the closest pair on the team. But, she was gone now, leaving you broken, lost, and angry. 

You couldn’t find relief from the pain. Everywhere you went reminded you of her. The bullpen held the whispers of past conversations carried on long into the night. Clinging to the walls of your apartment were secrets passed between close friends after a few too many glasses of wine. Lingering in the dark recesses of your favorite bar were the intoxicated giggles that followed stolen glances at attractive bar patrons. 

Despite your knowledge that every other member of the team was hurting just like you, you couldn’t bring yourself to reach out to them. The only one you had been in contact with since her death was Rossi. Somehow he knew how hard it would be for you to go back to your apartment and he had gently insisted you stay with him. He had even had someone go to your apartment and gather some of your things. 

Even though you had spent days in his mansion, which he conservatively called a house, you hadn’t stepped foot outside the bedroom. He had made sure to leave meals outside your door two times a day, many of which you left untouched. He had even tried to talk to you and get you to leave the room, and as much as you didn’t want to be a burden to Rossi, you couldn’t bring yourself to reenter reality. 

In fact, you had pulled further away from reality in the little cave you had created out of blankets and pillows in the constantly dark room. You spent much of your time either sleeping or playing the online video game you’d heard Morgan and Emily talk about animatedly several times on the jet. For some reason, playing that ridiculous game helped you feel closer to her and became the sole focus of your time. 

Rossi, however, was not a fan of your self-isolation and after over a week of being secluded in one of his guest rooms, he had apparently had enough. After sharply knocking on your door three times, he pushes it open, earning a half-attempted protest from you. 

“Alright, bella, I’ve been patient enough. You can’t live the rest of your life like this. I don’t want this for you and Emily certainly wouldn’t have wanted this for you.” His words, although gentle, serve as a harsh wake-up call to you. You let out a harsh breath before a sob seizes in your chest. And just like that, the dam holding back all of your intense sadness breaks and you are crying uncontrollably. 

A guilty expression takes hold of Rossi’s face as he steps forward, kneeling next to the bed and grabbing you in a tight embrace. You cling to his expensive button-down, unable to properly catch a breath through the hysterical crying. You are unsure of how long you weep in Rossi’s arms, but when you are finally able to stop the sobs, you utter a soft “Thank you.”

“Mio caro, you have nothing to apologize for.” He whispers, one hand moving to brush a strand of hair away from your eyes. “Come join me for dinner. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. You can get intoxicated if that’s what you want or you can simply sit there and we can enjoy one another’s presence.” His voice betrays the worry he is feeling. You let out a simple nod, afraid that you’d start crying again if you spoke. He presses a soft kiss to your temple, before leaving you to get cleaned up for dinner.

Rossi makes an intricate pasta dish, with steamed veggies and freshly made garlic bread for dinner. You help set the table, choosing one of your favorite wines from Rossi’s extensive collection to go with the meal. After each of you dish up your plates, you settle into a comfortable silence. Neither of you speaks through the entire main course, aside from simple questions of “Can you pass the salt?” and “Would you like more wine?” When Rossi spends the entire dessert portion of the meal stealing glances at you, you know he is more than worried. 

“Rossi, I’ll be okay. It will take me a while, but I’ll get there.” You murmur, laying down your fork on your dessert plate. 

“I know, mio caro, I know. We all will, at least as best we can.” He responds, moving one of his hands to rest on yours. 

The two of you lapse into silence, only speaking again when Rossi suggests going to sit out on the balcony with a glass of wine. You agree and as the sun slowly sets, one glass of wine becomes two, which in turn becomes three.

By the time the two of you come in from the balcony, you were closer to intoxication than a light buzz. Rossi assists you in stumbling back to your room, getting you a clean shirt and sleep pants, and even getting you a fresh towel for you to wash your face with. After pulling on fresh clothes and wiping off your makeup, you clumsily crawl into bed.

You don’t expect to be awake for long but after half an hour of tossing and turning, you can’t fall asleep. Letting out a long sigh, you pull out your laptop and open up the game you had quite quickly become obsessed with.

Usually, you play the game solely with the goal of defeating the various levels. Tonight is different. You don’t know if it’s because of the wine or because you were tired of feeling so lonely, but when a random individual reaches out, you respond.

vonnEgutgrouPi70: OMG! I <3 ur URL

hotzzforHotch: thnks. 

vonnEgutgrouPi70: howd you come up w/ it

hotzzforHotch: i’ve been crushing on my boss for ages. we call him Hotch at work

vonnEgutgrouPi70: cUtE! ;) im guessing he doesn’t play?

hotzzforHotch: oh no! I’d be sooo embarrassed :0 if he did

hotzzforHotch: i’ve actually nvr told anyone else that b4. Just my best friend.

vonnEgutgrouPi70: well im honored, thnks for sharing 

hotzzforHotch: i’m guessing u r a vonnegut fan?

vonnEgutgrouPi70: :)) yes! Huge nerd, i am 

vonnEgutgrouPi70: wanna partner up and play in team mode?

-----

Days pass and for some reason or another, vonnEgutgrouPi70 finds an excuse to talk to you. And something in you always has you responding. You and the Vonnegut loving, cyber individual become friends. Somehow this individual manages to distract you from the pain you had been feeling since Emily’s death. The more you learned about them, the more you found out that the two of you had a lot in common. And although you weren’t looking to replace Emily, you soon came to the realization that you could easily become close friends with vonnEgutgrouPi70, maybe even best friends. 

What you couldn’t shake though, was the feeling that this person gave you, a feeling you’d only ever felt once before. With Emily.

[bluepluto03]

Atla modern/yt au: no one except toph knows that Aang is the avatar

Things I didn’t need to do: spend four hours world building a whole modern/atla fusion au for a yt au

Things I did do: take a guess

Anyway I need to get out some Context b4 I explain the “only toph knows that aang is the avatar” thing

- basically I wanted to make a atla yt au w/ bending, but like an idiot I can’t just leave things alone so I made a whole modern world/atla world fusion

- I have another post focusing more on the yt aspect, this post is more focused on world building, including how aang affects the world by not being the avatar until much later

- so in this world the 100 yr war never happened. Roku defeated Sozin and the war + the air nomad genocide never happened. Someone else was the avatar after Roku, and aang wasn’t born (yet)

- instead Aang’s born a couple thousand yrs later in the equivalent of modern times in the avatar world, as is like everyone else for obvious reasons

- but in the time between a lot of different + important things happen

- for one a very parinoid Roku pulls up mountain ranges all around the edges of the earth kingdom cus he’s very worried about the fire nation attacking.

- And then lowkey disappears into the woods for fifty years

- at first ppl are kinda tense and thankful but over time and under a new fire lord ppl chill out. They start to realize that maybe being completely cut off from each other isn’t very good for them??

- a ton of earthbenders get together to level out this one massive area near the fire nation and northern water tribe. So they at least have room for one port instead of zero. over time a few other spaces are opened up but they’re small and not as well placed.

- The first port grows into a massive city that becomes a sort of combination of the four nations. There are different areas that have specifically fire, water or earth architecture/aesthetics, and a lot of areas where those different aesthetics are combined in different ways. There’s definite air nation influence but it’s the smallest in comparison to the other nations

- as this is going on Roku is just chilling in the woods going a little bit crazy?? Though he lives a mostly peaceful and happy life until he passes away when he’s nearly 200

- the next avatar (an air bender who is not aang) is kinda annoyed by what Roku did?? They’re mad about the whole separating the nations thing and set out to fix it

- they end up doing 2 major things. 1) removing a lot of the mountains Roku made and 2) basically setting up a universal education/apprenticeship system

- it gets expanded on a lot over the years, but the gist of it by the time the GAang are born is this:

1) u can sign up any age from 6-14, and advance as u pass classes. Ur required to sign up b4 age 14. (Aka why the gaang are all freind’s dispite being dif ages, they’re in the same ish classes)

2) the school teaches basic skills like reading, writing, math, etc to make sure everyone knows it but ur fam can teach u before hand if that’s what they want

3) everyone who goes is required to learn the basics and ideology behind all 4 bending styles. Even if ur a non bender. The point is to like keep everyone connected and build understanding between cultures

4) the school does provide free lessons with bending masters but students are allowed to seek out someone else if they wish. Or they don’t even need to learn past the basics if they don’t wanna

- anyway the avatar after Roku basically sets up the base of that whole system, plus a way for ppl to become certified as master benders. This post is getting real long tho so I’ll save that explanation for a different post

- the only other important thing that happens that I need to mention is the construction of the Central Air Temple

- the central air temple is built right near the port/city. it’s built kinda in 2 parts, the more private/religious area as well as a more public area where others can come to learn about air nomad culture, more reformed air Nomads might live, and where some businesses are set up. There’s plenty of both open and mountainous land in the area so there’s plenty of room to care for sky bison

- aang is born and grows up in the central temple. He (like a lot of air nomad children) doesn’t go to school until a lot later than children from other nations, around age 11-12

- he goes to school in the city and ofc meets the rest of the gaang who have moved to the city for various reasons, as well as others like teo and Haru

- also side note- in this Teo’s mother was a less religious air nomad and he grew up in the more modern lower half of the central air temple 

-ANYWAY the reason I needed to explain all that was bc a) I spent too much time on it not to share and b) u need to understand it to understand why aang has no clue he’s the avatar. (This poor stupid babey I love him)

- basically after the school system was implemented, they stopped testing to find the Avatar. It wasn’t needed if everyone was going to be learning the basics of all four elements! The avatar would obviously figure it out from that

- except uhhh,,,, whenever they’re doing that training they do it in big groups. And aang has awful adhd

- so yeah. He’s actually like.... bending water and fire and stuff but he doesn’t realize cus he’s not really trying too?? And there are a ton of other benders here! It must be from one of them, right?

- like, yeah when he does the fire bending poses he bends smoke, but obviously he’s accidentally bending zuko’s! Air and fire are similar enough. And yeah Sokka ends up mysteriously soaked, but Katara never admits when she does it, so it was obviously her

- and since he has the attention span of a elephant koi and no one else is paying attention it basically flies under every one’s radar

- everyone except toph, who thinks it’s fucking hilarious and refuses to say shit

- anyway they don’t figure it out until they’re in their mid 20s and everyone is like aang babe wtf

[idk-my-aesthetic]

Ok I already made a kinda similar post but I feel like I wanna re-articulate/add to my point

So, Steven wanting be seen as an adult isn’t a problem at all bc like.... he is. Basically. Maturity and experience wise, he has more than passed what qualifies as becoming an adult like.... years ago

But the part of snow day that concerns me is how he pushes away all the things that have been shown to make him happy, without really showing any new things

(Also the gems behavior of suddenly treating Steven like he’s 12 again (which he’s rightfully annoyed by) seems like a big jump, but I’ll explain that in a minute)

Like it’s perfectly healthy for ppl to grow out of little kid stuff and into adult stuff, if they actually grow into adult stuff! Bc Steven like.... doesn’t. He exchanges together breakfast for protein shakes, but that’s it. Everything else is replaced by work

Also his refusal to rely on the gems in anyway (for food, to let garnet pack his bag, etc) could be seen as just like a part of trying to establish his independence, if it wasn’t part of an increasingly concerning pattern of refusing to rely on anyone for anything

And tbh? I think both things are very much connected to what happened with spinel and in the movie

Like in the very beginning/in here we are in the future we see him acting A lot closer to 14 yr old Steven. He’s obviously matured, but he shows actual interest in stuff (the rock show) acts more goofy (rolling down the stairs, jumping through Lars’s hair) and relays on the others a lot more (letting garnet & amethyst catch him)

Obvi the rest of the movie is super stressful and the gems don’t know him so we don’t really get many more things like that. But those actions are prominent and show us 2 important things 1) even though he’s definitely grown he still likes to act kinda silly, and 2) he’s still close with the gems

So what happened?

Well, at the end he says to spinel “there’s no such thing as happily ever after. My work will never be done” and like... I think that’s a much more important line than anyone is giving it credit for

I think spinel’s attack was something much bigger that affected him a lot more than ppl realized. It made him realize that like this shit will affect him for the rest of his life

And tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if that led to a subconscious thought process of “I always need to be vigilant and ready to help” to “I know I’m not a threat, so my problems should be pushed aside to help others” to “I need to try and stop problems before they happen” to “I can’t Ever think about my problems bc I need to find any others and fix them instead”

So now he doesn’t wanna think about his own issues for 2 reasons a) bc it’s hard and b) bc he thinks it’s more important to make sure everyone else in the galaxy is ok then it is to make sure he’s ok. Which is only gonna make his problems worse x 2

And it’s showing in how he acts in future vs the beginning of the movie, though it’s most evident in snow day

Like in the movie there is no indication that any of the gems are babying him in any way. At one point I was literally annoyed cause I was like they’re letting him do too much. But they’re def not babying him, they obvi show concern but they still let him continue after he collapses, interact w/ spinel (probably assuming he went to fight her) on his own, and face her on his own at the very end. All things they would never let him do in say s1, which is how they’re treating him

And in earlier episodes they’re like... letting blue bird chill which is another thing they wouldn’t do if they were really babying him lol

But we know that there’s a decent time skip between those eps and snow day and the other eps, bc of how Steven’s discussing the third quarter when little homeschool seemed to be just opening at first, and the weather change

So like what I think is happening is that after spinel’s whole thing Steven starts to distance himself a bit. He still spends time with the gems, but he doesn’t really let himself rely on them for anything anymore

As time goes on and he a) finds out he has distructive powers b) is struggling more to keeps his emotions in check and c) relizes he’s even less safe than he thought after bluebird, he starts distancing himself even more, as well as throwing himself into work more to avoid having to face his own problems

The gems slowly start to notice, and attempt to reconnect with him. There’s nothing he really likes now, and any changes he has made they don’t know about bc he’s distancing himself. So they fall back on stuff they know he used to like, and start treating him like when he was a little kid and wanted to spend time with them really desperately

So in the process of trying to get closer to him they actually hurt him by romanticizing a person he just.... isn’t anymore. He’s dealt with a lot of shit since season one and he’s a completely different person, and treating him like the little kid he hasn’t been in years is both super insulting and hurtful

So they end up in this sort of paradoxical vortex. Steven is isolating himself/abandoning the stuff that makes him happy/throwing himself into his work to avoid dealing with his emotions, hurting both him and the gems. The gems try to fix it, but accidentally make it worse, hurtling both him and themselves. Until it finally cumulates in snow day and them having a chat

But

Their conversation only solves 2 of the 5 main problems Steven has that are shown/referenced in the episode

The gems babying him

Distancing himself from his family

Abandoning/not having anything that makes him happy besides work

Refusing to rely on others in anyway

Throwing himself way too much into work

(Plus theres the other 2 big ones that aren’t really in this ep but still important

How he feels about his mom

How he’s pushing his own emotions aside in favor of helping others)

So... yeah. Obvi all that stuff is gonna be handled later on, I’m just a bit worried about my boi ;-;

Edit: hhhhh he’s using his hotdog duffel in bluebird

Just like,,,, more evidence for everything im saying since he was ok with using it b4 the bigger shift. He probably started separating more after bluebird bc he’s scared of relying on the gems too much

Also!! Check the comments pls a lot of them are real good and smart but I can’t rb them and don’t wanna screen shot em

[hwangskz]

in another life (pt. 1) | soulmate! minho

part 1 of the uwma! au series !!!! i was so excited to get this up bcs, if u hadn't realised alrdy, i LOVE uwma with my entire heart :( (ps if any of u watch any bls or even just uwma pls hmu thank u) and pls read this post b4 or after ur done reading this fic so u don't get confused in the next part!! +++ tw suicide !

• "y/n….do u like him?"

• ur automatically reminded of the time u first met

• u remember it as clear as day

• u both had taken film as ur major and on the first day, ur college held a lil gathering

• u picked up the nearest headband and read it's label

• 'belle'

• so….were u supposed to find ur beast now???? JSGSSHE THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID

• BUT UR RUNNING OUT OF TIME !!!!!!

• "10 seconds to find ur partner!!!!"

• u looked around bcs u were NOT standing in front of that huge crowd, later trying to find ur partner

• when a boy caught ur eyes

• he stood on the side, his hand limply holding the blue headband as he looked around

• and he looked ?? sad :( ??

• "last 5 seconds!!!"

• u turned around one last time and ?? EVERYONE HAD FOUND THEIR PARTNERS ALREADY??

• so u RAN towards that boy

• and caught him off guard as u pulled him down to sit on the ground as the announcer continued talking and giving out future tasks 

• "hey."

• "???"

• wow this boy is worse than YOU at communicating

• "are u sure we're partners??"

• "..."

• "right, yea. i was the one who dragged u..haha..sorry.."

• so u pulled his hand up to view his headband

• 'prince adam'

• u probably looked really confused rn bcs u just made the guy speak up

• "beast."

• u looked up, OBVIOUSLY confused

• this new voice box working??? wonder whose it is

• ":o huh?????"

• he sighed and held it up for u

• thank u nameless boy bcs ur hands kinda WERE getting tired JDKHD

• "prince adam is the real name of the prince in disney's beauty and the beast."

• ":OOO REALLY???? wait but how do u know"

• "..... google?"

• "... RIGHT sorry haha"

• even after the lil gathering ended and u got to go to ur class

• ur mind was still thinking abt the guy

• u probably didn't even notice u had entered the class w that DULL ASS look until

• "ouc- WHO THE F-???????"

• "still in ur dreams?? lmao dumbass"

• ":O SHIN RYUJIN"

• "this group needed the following of a sane person so im here too. hello to u too, y/n"

• "MISS YEJI??? PEOPLE THAT I KNOW AND CHERISH????? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚ OMG HELLO TO U TOO"

• and there it was, once again, ryujin trying to get ur over affectionate ass off of her as yeji laughs 

• well iN UR DEFENSE, U MISSED UR BEST FRIENDS AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE TERRIFIES U

• and when u take a seat

• u can't help but follow the movements of the boy who enters the class

• his moves aren't rushed; they seem calm. too calm.

• and that's when u hear all the whispers around u

• "is that blood on his shirt? is he already following in his dad's footsteps?"

• ‘what footsteps?’

• "i heard he dragged his partner today for the freshman gathering today?"

• ‘but i was the one who dragged him..then how-’

• "y/n?"

• "h-huh?" 

• yeji's third call woke u up from ur train of thoughts

• "are u ok?"

• "yea.. i'm fine. dw!!"

• "see i told u they’re thinking abt their fantasy boys and/or girls again it's fine"

• "WH- EXCUSE ME I DON'T FANTASISE!!!!!"

• "yes y/n l/n i totally believe that"

• "SHUT UP RYUJIN"

• ur group's laughters echo in the room, along w the other friend groups'

• except for that boy who now sits in front of u

• u wonder if he's waiting for his friends

• but they never seem to show up

• even though it's alrdy been over 5 months now

• and that pretty boy in front of u is DISTRACTING u from the lesson (๑•ૅㅁ•๑) !!!!!

• and this one particular day..yeji and ryujin were absent..

• so u were kinda lonely anyways

• and hearing ppl continue to whisper abt that guy..it made u wanna talk to him again

• u don't know exactly why ?? but u did

• so u gathered up ur stuff from ur desk

• and sat at the desk next to his

• and immediately u could hear the whispers getting a bit louder

• and he ducked his head and turned towards u

• and u decided to ignore those words, and looked at him, with a bright smile on ur face

• "don't worry about them. i'm here now."

• it was something abt u

• something abt those words that made him feel some type of way

• he took in a deep breath as he looked down and then looked at u again

• "......thank you, i guess"

• u nodded and he turned towards his work

• a small smile on his face

• he had found someone

• "so?"

• ryujin asked u, bringing u back from ur flashback

•"yea..i think so.."

• yeji and ryujin sighed

• ur mind : ALERT

• IS IT BAD??? THAT U LIKE HIM???? (๑´╹‸╹`๑) ??

• "y/n...do u not know abt him..?"

• "(o゜ー゜o)??"

• they share a Look and turn towards u, worried looks on their faces

• OK YEA IT PROBABLY IS,,

• "he's the son of a mafia... that's why ppl talk abt him in such..hushed tones..and basically isolate him"

• "and look y/n..we know that isolating him is truly bad, but maybe get a little away? from him? what if u get involved in smthg bad?"

• u...ur honestly a lil shocked

• not fully by the news that his dad is a mafia

• but by the fact that they think something bad can happen when ur with him

• with HIM

• "but it's his dad who is a mafia. he's not at all like that !! he's a bit shy, and is just scared to express himself. and don't worry, yeji. i am not going to get myself in trouble"

• they muttered an "okay" and leaned back against their chairs again

• "but wait.."

• ryujin spoke up again

• "when did u even hangout w him? enough to, well, get feelings for him?"

• "uh well..that day both of u were absent, i went and sat w him in class..then shared some of my lunch w him when i saw him on the rooftop..and kind of having been bringing him lunch and staying w him..during that time.."

• they laughed, and u could feel the tension easing away

• "never knew y/n's a dom lmao"

• "they seem like a switch tho"

• "SHUT UP"

• and so u did join the guy 

• (who's name u had learned to be lee minho)

• whenever u found him to be lonely

• and even tho minho seemed to be against the whole idea of u joining him all the time

• trust me he's a whole softie inside

• he just ;;;; he gets so happy whenever u come by

• and not just bring him lunch

• and not only during lunch breaks

• but all the time

• whenever he passes by u

• u always greet him, and 

• wave at him and u just feel like a shield from everyone and all the bad things everyone says and he just

• he can't thank u enough

• but it's not just that

• and he knows that

• even when he sees u coming towards him in the library

• sneaking in some food bcs it IS lunch

• so technically u ARE supposed to bring him food

• "hey !! :D"

• u take the chair in front of him

• and take out the food, both of urs, and shove his one towards him

• "WHY-"

• minho shushes u and u turn around to look if u made anyone else angry

• and perhaps...... u DID.... AJSBBE

• so u just duck ur head as an apology and the furious students go back to studying

• "why are u studying rn???? it's lunch!!!!!"

• "ok and??"

• "rest is important!!"

• "what makes u think i haven't rested enough alrdy?"

• "well i've seen u w the book the ENTIRE DAY ??"

• minho sighs, but then perks his head up

• "u..u watch me..?"

• "!! im not a STALKER-"

• minho shushes u again and ur pretty sure the other students r staring daggers at u rn JDVSJE

• "-im not a stalker,, ur in my class.. right in front of me.."

• minho chuckles silently at ur words

• "sure"

• u were flustered until u realised u just

• u just made the biggest tsundere chuckle

• c h u c k l e

• "did u just …….. chuckle at me…….."

• minho looked down, scared to meet ur eyes bcs shit ur rite

• "no…….what makes u think that………"

• u giggle at his failed attempt to delete that successful moment from ur memory

• minho smiles a little

• he was so happy

• even tho it was abt u

• even tho u had made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that u like him

• like at random times u would be like

• "damn i can't believe i fell for u"

• or

• "oh good lord!! i always try to hangout w the guy i like but he pretends to not like spending time with me!!!!!!! what did i do to deserve this !!!!!!"

• and in these situations what does minho do??

• LAUGH .

• he LAUGHS

• just a bit bcs he's still under that tsundere cover JSGSJSB

• but like !!!!!!! in his defense !!!!!!!

• HE DIDNT KNOW IF U TRULY MEANT IT !!!!!!!

• MAYBE U LIKE HIM JUST AS A FRIEND !!!!!!!!!!!!

• AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN THIS FRIENDSHIP !!!!!!!!

• that too w his first ever friend..................

• little did he know he was truly so engrossed in his thoughts that he had stopped eating and had been staring at the sky above for like ??? more than 5 mins now ??

• "MINHO ???????"

• he flinched and moved away a bit at the sound of ur voice suddenly piercing his thoughts

• "w-what"

• "bitch i thought u died or smthg...u have been staring above for so long pretty sure some flies even touched ur food and it's now UNHYGIENIC"

• his eyes met urs and, as if he got some idea, he suddenly kept his lunch box away to look at u

• "wait im pretty sure the flies didn't sit on the food!!!! it was a joke-"

• minho exhaled loudly before he spoke

• "y/n?"

• "yes…?"

• "can i ask u smthg…..?"

• "sure!!"

• minho inhaled sharply before continuing

• "do u ever feel uncomfortable? when ur with me?"

• u thought for a while, before giving him a smile and answering him

• "why would i? idk if ur referring to the rumors here...or if they're supposed to be involved here but...they don't affect me. firstly, i don't even know if ur dad truly is a part of the mafia-"

• "he is."

• minho was staring at u intently, wondering how u'll respond to this

• "well, uh, nice for him? i guess? but it's him right? not u? then there's nothing to worry about."

• minho shook his head as he tried to look anywhere but at u

• "but what if u ever get in trouble? bcs of me?"

• "that's on me. not u. and if it's through u, or if u ever get in trouble or smthg-"

• u picked his hand up, holding it tightly, which seemed to catch him off guard

• "-i will protect u."

• he could do nothing but give u a soft smile, before turning his head away

• and so did u bcs damn y/n since when did u become so confident huh JDVSJE

• so u decided to go for it

• "y/n, will u be my partne-"

• u gently pecked his lips before moving away real QUICK JSGEJE

• WAS HE ABT TO CONFESS ???????????

• WHY ARE HIS EYES WIDENED LIKE THAT?????????? DID U

• OH NO U DID SOMETHING WRONG DIDN'T U

• "i-i'm sorry….i didn't mean to-"

• and u looked up in time, only to see minho leaning in, before he connected his lips to urs

• it was a slow kiss

• it took u a while to get the fact into ur head that he's right here

• he is kissing u

• and so u snaked ur arms across his shoulders, as he held u tight, even closer

• and when u both pulled away

• both of u were flushed red

• and it did feel kinda quiet so u just

• "damn im glad we have lunch on the rooftop, huh"

• minho chuckled as he moved away

• "kinda ….. yes"

• and so for the next months u continued to tease him with this JDGSJS

• even tho yall are technically dating now uwu

• but he never tells u he likes u

• which is : frustrating

• bcs u !!!!!! UR THE BIGGEST OVERTHINKER EVER !!!!!!

• ENOUGH TO WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP !!!!!!!!!

• and the fact that EVEN THO he's ur bf and u KNOW it, u continue to be curious if he even likes u :(

• so u just slam ur spoon on the table

• which makes him look up

• "what? is the ramen too spicy?"

• u shoot ur head towards him, a pout on ur face

• "do u like me?"

• ".........what"

• JSHSKWKKW

• Y/N PLS

• "u never….u have never said u like me…...and yea sure im not supposed to question this bcs ur my boyfriend and i know that but im sorry i overthink alot and it's just me saying i like u all the time but not u and i just can't help but-"

• "i …….. i like."

• "huh?"

• u shoot ur head upwards at minho, who now gets up to keep his empty bowl in ur kitchen sink, with a grin along ur face

• "u heard me."

• and u wish u could still be as happy as u were on this day

• when he first confessed

• well, half-confessed

• but u couldn't be

• even as he stood in front of u, saying that he loves u

• and he's grateful for u

• u couldn't stop the tears that continued to stream down ur cheeks

• ur eyes could only focus on the gun that he held right beside his temple

• his dad used to send people behind minho whenever u two went on a date

• "he wants me to go on w his job after he resigns" minho had once told on one of ur dates

• "do u want to?"

• "no, obviously-"

• he held ur hand in his

• "i want to be with u"

• then why

• why was he standing there, with that gun

• that stupid gun aimed at his temple?

• today while u had closed ur eyes, wishing for something, like minho had told u when he brought that birthday cake for u out of nowhere while u and minho were having ur date

• u opened ur eyes when u heard a muffled voice screaming loudly

• only to find it was minho's

• which confused u when u saw the hand covering his mouth

• but surprised u, when u saw his dad standing right behind him

• he kept pulling minho away from u

• minho yelled, tried to free himself away

• but couldn't

• until u yelled at his dad to stop

• and minho dropped on the ground, with his wrists red from being grasped so tightly

• u went on and on abt how he has made minho feel and what minho truly wants

• u had shut ur eyes out of fear

• but u had opened them to see what minho truly wants

• death ;

• an escape

• from all of this

• and so he spoke one more time

• "y/n. remember, i love you, okay? i….i'll always keep my promise."

• and then, a gunshot.

• u weren't sure if time had stopped or if it was just u frozen

• but u could only hear a beep sound going in ur ears as his body dropped on the ground

• limp.

• and at once u leapt towards him, sobbing, u fell to ur knees, ur hands grazing his cheeks and gently hitting his chest

• "y/n…. i don't know how to go on…"

• he had told u this months ago, when u guys had been dating for abt 5 months then

• "minho, we'll always be together, no matter what. i, at least, will be there for u, always."

• minho had looked at u with tears in his eyes 

• he rlly was so stupidly in love w u

• "but what if i...die...someday?"

• u sighed and turned to look at the night sky

• at least none of his dad's assistants had found out abt ur place yet

• (thankfully)

• u turned to look at him again

• "then...i'll die too."

• so that's what u were gonna do

• u searched for the pistol, as u blinked several times to focus properly

• when u finally found it, ur hands shakily reached for it

• and then as u aimed it at ur own temple

• the last part of that conversation popped into ur head again

• "then, will we meet each other in next life?"

• minho thought abt it for a few secs

• "probably"

• u nodded

• "i once heard that...when u fall for someone at first sight, it probably just means that we're recognising our partner's soul from our past life….do u think that will happen w us? do u think we'll…. we'll recognise each other?"

• "...i hope so…."

• u both let out a stifled laugh

• and so u stick ur pinky finger out, asking for his 

• "minho."

• "yes?"

• "promise me."

• "promise what?"

• "promise that…...that we'll find each other.."

• minho was abt to argue w u but seeing ur lil pout

• he had no choice but to agree

• "promise."

• and so, another gunshot was heard.

[skeletorific]

Okay then, can I please get some good ol cuddlin with Marvus an a short female s/o that has been down in the dumps lately?

Oh now you’ve gone and done it. Marvus is on a one man quest to ruin my life, and what’s worse is, he’s succeeding. This got LONG but here we go!!!

The green rooms of clowntown were never exactly the most hospitable place to hang out. Aside from the usual motley crew of unstable clowns ( no one on Marvus’ team would kill you, necessarily, but that doesn’t mean injury wasn’t a threat when a clown was on a rager), the hygiene of the place left something to be desired. Sweat, spilled faygo, sopor slime usually smeared on the walls, as well as a medley of other fluids you usually didn’t care to think about. Combine that with the odors usually wafting from the concert pits out front and, well…..it took some getting used to, to say the least. You showed up to see him after his concerts when you weren’t busy, but all told, not your favorite locale on Alternia.

Usually Marvus’ dressing room was a bit nicer. In fact you could probably head back there now, but…something kept you rooted to the couch, curled up and facing away from the door. The same as when you’d first walked in and collapsed there a couple hours prior. Mindlessly scrolling through Chittr, barely absorbing what you were seeing but incessantly refreshing. 

You weren’t feeling up to it. That was happening more and more lately. It was odd, like the more friends you made, the more that empty spot inside you seemed to gape. And the harder it was to face it. It was like…how much more could you give? Or not give…devour. That’s what it felt like. Like you were one of those perpetually hungry insect lusii that demanded blood from their charges at all costs. Never satisfied, only in search of the next friendship meal.

And it was starting to burn you out.

That wasn’t the only factor, of course. Lack of sleep. Low seratonin. General Alternian shittiness. Rainy Day Syndrome or whatever the hell you wanted to call it. You were so tired and nebulously sad that all you wanted to do was burrow into your makeshift bed back at the outpost, but you’d done that all morning. Only made you feel worse.

So…..you came here.

Marvus was busy, which is a bit like saying the sky is gray or a tealblood loves justice. Its one of those immutable facts of nature that hardly bears repeating. But you came anyways. Because coming here, even those brief snatches of moments he could usually spare you after shows were usually enough to leave you feeling a bit….more real, if that made sense. Like you were a little more tethered to solid ground.

It was probably useless to try and define what you were. Tagora, who’d insisted on knowing the details of  your relationship (and the name of Marvus’ usual legal representation, “just in case” he was looking for someone with a bit more “verve”) had said it was floating on the edges of some quadrant, he just wasn’t sure which one. Tyzias had bluntly asked whether you’d found a matesprit, and Polypa wanted to know if you were looking for a bit of flexibility with the moiraillegiance.

The truth was you weren’t sure where things stood with you. Not just because the quadrants were still relatively alien to you, but also because Marvus didn’t seem pressed to put a word on it himself. Like nearly everything he did there was a casualness to it. He seemed to enjoy your company, and you enjoyed his. He was physically affectionate, but in a manner so light it felt entirely natural. Intuitively you knew that if you ever asked him to stop, he would.

You weren’t fooling yourself: this was something beyond friendship. But oddly enough the ambiguity of it all was appealing. It was nice to have something without the usual batshit stakes everything on Alternia seemed to have. 

You were so lost in this contemplation that you didn’t notice the music fading into screams, which signified the end of a show. The green room slowly filled with idle chatter and sounds of furniture moving as the clowns unwound. But it was a hand on your arm that finally snapped you out of your thoughts. You turned your head to see a familiar face.

“hey” Marvus said, the usual lazy grin on his face as he looked down on you. He looked almost as beat as you felt, sweaty from the stage lights and eyelids drooping low. Despite that, you feel your troubles start to dim a bit just looking at him.

You smile slightly, sitting up a bit to cover his hand with your own. “hey. Finished up for the night.”

“ye. big crowd 2nite so the roadies r gunna b cleanin up for a while. gunna crash here 2nite and head for the next spot in the mornin.” His thumb traced a slow spiral on your arm as he cocked a painted eyebrow. “u doin aight?”

“…yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”  You say, hoping that pause wasn’t as long as it felt. “Why? Something wrong?”

“nah lol. just usually dm me when ur gunna turn up.”

“Is it ok that I’m here?”

“Mmm…” He smirks, pretending to consider it before leaning down to peck your cheek. It pulls an unwitting grin from you, despite the definite greasepaint smudge its left behind. “maybe. u wanna eat smthn?”

You shook your head. You weren’t hungry.

“aight. brb. gunna grab somethin b4 i pass out.” He rose to his feet with his usual casual grace. 

“Ok.” You let go of his hand. He winks and heads for the catering table.

There’s a warm flutter in your chest, but…not as much as you were hoping? No, that’s not fair. But you’re looking around at all these chatty juggalos and it’s only making you realize how tired you are. You just want to decompress right now, but he’s a chronic extrovert. He could be in here for hours, and you didn’t want to pull him away from that just to tend to your own vague emotional needs right now. 

With a resigned sigh, you turn back to your phone. It’s fine. You’ve definitely put up with worse. And at least you’d get to spend some time with him…

About ten minutes later you hear footsteps behind you, getting closer, and then coming to a stop right behind you. You don’t turn around, just scoot your legs a big to give him the room to sit down. You hear a heavy sigh from him that you assume is the precursor to collapsing into the couch. 

Only to be startled by an arm slipping around your waist and hoisting you into the air. 

You yelp, nearly dropping your phone in surprise as you scramble to catch yourself against him. With a couple of effortless turns of your body, Marvus braces you on his hip with one arm and steadies a plate of food with the other, heading out of the room. 

You feel your cheeks growing warmer as you get a grip on his shoulders. None of the other clowns even spare you a glance as he walks by, but despite the apparent frequency of its occurrence, you don’t think you’re ever going to get used to him carting you around like a toddler. Marvus is average by highblood standards, but that doesn’t mean much to a tiny human. Something he takes no small amount of glee in reminding you of as often as possible.

“U-uh….where are we going?” You manage to splutter out. 

“dressin room” He said simply, nudging the door open with his foot and heading inside. The quarters, as always, are somewhat cramped, but luxuriously decked out, closets stuffed with fashionably shredded clothes, a recuperacoon in the corner, and a sectional sofa big enough to double as a bed. Not that anyone on this planet knows what a bed is. Marvus sets the plate of food down on the vanity and shakes off his jacket, trading you from arm to arm. 

“Er…didn’t you want to….” 

“mm. think they can live w/o me 4 a bit lol” Jacket successfully discarded to the floor, he tossed you on the couch like a sack of potatoes and crawled in next to you, bringing the plate with him and propping his elbow up on the arm of the couch to eat.

You frown, sitting up a bit. Marvus never leaves early. You’re lucky if you can drag him out after half the crew has blacked out from the faygo, and-….

Troll fucking jegus, did he really.

“….you don’t have to do this just for me.”

He flicked his eyebrows in that infuriatingly coy way he has, like a silent question mark. “do what”

“Put yourself out for my sake.” 

Dead silence. Which from Marvus is as damning as anything.

You look down at the couch, suddenly unable meet his gaze. There’s a loose thread that you pick at. “It’s not a big deal. Just a low tank day. I’ll survive.”

“if that were true ya wouldn’t be here”

“I wanted to see you.”

“so, ur seein me.” He grinned, licking a stray crumb off his fingertips. “less ur interested in seein more, cuz dan.”

You flush, nudging his shoulder. “I’m serious. Don’t worry about it. You can go out if you want.”

Marvus sighs, tugging lightly at the strings of your hoodie till you’re laying down face to face with him. He pushes some hair out of your face, claws scratching lightly at your scalp. It melts you, like always. Your eyelids lower instinctively as you lean into the touch.

“u think ‘m here against my wishin? shizz, babe, i ain’t that nice a guy.” He grins, continuing to stroke your hair. “‘m here cuz it don’t feel good watchin u b all low n slow. sacriligeous, if u think abt it.” 

His hand slowly traces from your hair, down to your side, coaxing you towards him. You give up fighting it, burying your face in your chest and wrapping your arms around him tight. He tucks his head in the crook of your neck, his breath ghosting on your skin. Like most highbloods, his skin was on the chillier side, but it contrasts nicely with the muggy heat of his dressing room. You feel his fangs gently scraping your neck as he kisses you softly.

“just lemme do my m-fin good deed for the day, aight?” He murmurs. “i gotcha…”

And somehow, you know that even if that hole isn’t getting any smaller….it sure as hell isn’t getting any bigger. 

Not with him around. 

[autistic-council-spectre]

i think the Ziir timeline is p much

Wakes up newly formed as a Hero in a cell due to a dragon break

Dicks around for a few weeks in the arena mostly to just. get the bearings of how the fuck her body works +get some money

The main Oblivion quest line i think canonically is supposed to only be a few months but lbr it's closer to 2-3 years

An in that time she falls in love w Martin, tries to worship the divines but it feels Weird tm, gets some weird prophecy like dreams (probably from Mara or Kynareth trying to help a lil) Martin dies like in canon an she goes off the deep end a lil, attacking and murdering idk a blades member probably/someone important in a dispute

Lucien shows up an does his >:3 spiel

She goes fuck it yeah why not an joins up, idk how long that time period is supposed to be but we're gonna put it at around 10 yrs including the purification (but that lasts only the last 6ish months, it's just a shit show of constant Ziir suffering)

Somewhere around this time she gets drawn to worship Hircine, it works well bc he views what she's doing as a Hunt

Plenty of time to get attached to everyone basically. Falls in love w Lucien an Vicente (personal hc that he shows up a lot more than we see him in canon) gets turned about 5yrs in? Has a tiny crisis over that bc eyyy dying is traumatic. Does lots of murders, is probably semi known at this point

And at the same time this is happening she happens upon the thieves guild by accident is like "hey what are y'all doing?" cue screaming bc a vampire just popped her head out of nowhere

She doesn't officially officially join the thieves guild but she helps out a lot and in return they help her out. Usually it's letting her know when they guards are around/where x mark is hiding out at

Purification happens an then the Lucien shit happens an she's :) suffering

Spends about a year or so just laying face first in the floor of a thieves guild hide out while the other members pat her head like "there there"

Then she hears about the weird door an is like Haha Fuck This Noise an bounces

Time is very fucky over there so on Nirn she was only gone about 50ish years (she thinks??) but to her it felt like Much Much Much longer like few hundred years longer

Long enough for her to mantle the madgod, be a very fucked up person for a good while (Steven universe fusion....but bad) before going feral and basically ripping out the mortal part of them and throwing it back to Nirn

This leaves Sheogorath looking more khajiit like an slightly more morose than what were used to and Ziir having a few weird quirks namely her glamor being fucky and ppl with issues low-key flocking to her

So the mortal Ziir is left with all her baggage from years ago bc it feels like all the time has passed and none of the time has passed at the same time so she spends a lil laying face down in the forest

Before finally grabbing all her shit and fucking off to a crypt in the middle of the woods and taking a nap for 100 ish years

Then she wakes up, spends a few years wandering around b4 ending up in Skyrim and going FUCK bc the gods have cursed her. literally. they realized she was awake and bestowed upon her the title of dragonborn an all it's abilities so they wouldn't have to find a random person to do it

an that's where current canon starts

[onelichtwolich]

stealin’ this from @forsakenpumpkin <3 i love these character sheet things

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻.

Repost, don’t reblog.

BASICS.

full name. chaalupa taaco. nickname. lup, obvi. taako also calls her lulu, lupala, froot lup, lu, and sis. barry also has a slew of romantic pet names. <3 gender. trans lady. height. 5′3″ age. 132 zodiac. gemini, baybee. twinz spoken languages. common, elvish, mongoose, prob could pick up just about anything if bored enough honestly. she has a proclivity towards linguistic shit like that.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair color.  naturally blonde. she likes to put red and orange in it; sometimes dyes it black (w red and orange in it). changes it up. eye color.  green. skin tone.  tan/light brown. she’s a sun elf, baybee. accent.  nope. voice.  prone to lilting in a way very similar to her brother’s. her voice is higher, though, and has a slight rasp to it. also is very loud. she is Unapologetically Herself and she makes sure the entire world knows about it. dominant hand.  gonna say she’s ambidextrous ‘cuz i can do that. i have the power. (prefers the right, though. Taako prefers the left.) posture. sometimes also floating LMAO, when it’s not that she tends to walk p casually but upright, not at all shy or hunched over, chest out sometimes. when in more casual situations she has a tendency to Sprawl and Hang Upside Down off of things like beds and couches. scars.  i do tend to think she has a large one goin’ down her back. doesn’t get many bc of being an elf and healing p quick, but she hasn’t exactly had an easy past free of fightin’. tattoos.  she might like some red phoenix wings or smth, maybe where the scar is. birthmarks.  is this a place to mention she has freckles? probably not. they’re not the same thing, but they are all over her body. maybe has a beauty mark under her left eye. most noticeable feature(s).  well, if you’re not from a world with elves, then probably the ears. they’re v expressive. and also, y’know. she’s a lich. so in that form it’s probably that whole situation.

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth. her homeworld of twosun. birth weight. i dunno? healthy weight, i’d imagine. (i myself did not have a healthy weight so i have no reference LMAO). birth height. I DUNNO. manner of birth. just... a natural birth? first words. this is easy. “koko.” :D siblings. ...koko!! eheheh. she loves her twin brother taako more than anything. he’s her heart. parents. ya, she had some. parental involvement. not great. something Happened to them when the twins were both young, so young she doesn’t rly remember her parents and only remembers coming to live w her aunt and grandfather at the farm.

ADULT LIFE.

occupation. universe-saving astronaut, baybee! at least she was, b4 Isola. and v proud of it, so this is gonna be a hard adjustment for her. current residence.  archimedes. close friends. the whole crew. recently Undyne is the Best Friend bc of Cupid Shuffle shenanigans. ;3 relationship status. married 2 one fine nerd in denim named Barry Bluejeans. financial status. not struggling or anything, and she’ll always b grateful. driver’s license. naw. criminal record. oh yea she’s been kinda a thief ‘n’ a gambler w T before. u do what u gotta to survive. vices. they are canonically listed as “lust, gluttony,” and “pride.” she proudly guesses them before being accused and freely admits to ‘em. no guilt on her end.

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation. bisexual, baybee. romantic orientation. bi/panromantic. preferred emotional role. whispers what. what does this... mean? she likes bein’ there for her husband in whatever way she can, discovering and learning new things together, talking well into the night about stuff, supporting and holding each other through the good and bad times, makin’ music, makin’ food (on her end), just... ...he’s one of her best friends? her role is just... ...what she has w him? she’d never want for anything else. he’s the love of her life. (and she’s poly, too, ‘cuz i say so.) preferred sexual role. this i, personally, as a mun both don’t know about and don’t want to talk about. lup’s not sex-repulsed but i sure am. MOVING ON. libido. it’s healthy and she’s unashamed. what more can b said. turn on’s. denim ;D. a good brain is also sexy. a creative side and a daring side. a nice smile ‘n’ warm hugs, too. kindness. turn off’s. not a big fan of jerks in general. intolerant of cruelty towards herself or others. love language. ...hold on, i’m gonna take a quiz abt this. yup, it’s what i suspected--lup’s a Quality Time kinda gal. she’s big on just spending time w her loved ones and being in their presence, no matter what they’re doing. having experiences together is important. Physical Touch is almost tied. she’s very touchy-feely. relationship tendencies. oh, she’s very casual about it and teasing about it but she’s a Big Ol’ Romantic Sap. once Lup loves you she loves you with her entire being. she’s v passionate and v into the idea of soul mates, largely bc she found hers. she’s hesitant to commit, at first, bc she takes trust and relationships so seriously--it’s a big reason for such a slow burn--but once she does, she’s all in. she’s present with you, she’ll always show affection for you and be around you and help and protect you.

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. i made a whole playlist of ‘em, which i won’t link to here! i think my fav example of a Lup song is “New Constellations” by Ryn Weaver, in terms of summing her up pretty well. hobbies to pass time. i’ve listed ‘em! you can find ‘em in stats. mental illnesses. PTSD for sure, yeah. physical illnesses. nope. fears. failing to protect her loved ones. failing at the mission. losing any of the people she loves forever. harming innocent people. self-confidence level. pretty dang high, LMAO. Lup does not lack in confidence; she’s been through hell to get hers and she’s holding onto it at all costs. she has moments of insecurity just like anyone, but. vulnerabilities. she has a very big heart. cares a whole lot. Taako gets exasperated with her for this, esp when it comes to risking herself for strangers, which he generally wouldn’t do (to him, it’s them vs the world; to her, it’s them for the world). her loved ones being threatened, the idea of harming people, just... she can’t stomach that.

tagged by: no one, baybee. renegade tagging: do it if u want, my friends!

[angeltrapz]

hhmmmmvnfj asks abt Lawrence? umm in a selfship way: what’s ur favorite gift he’s gotten u? — in a character analysis way, bcuz I’ve posted a lil abt it n u mentioned it in DMs too: if William had survived, bc Lawrence was handling new disciples at that time (like Brad n Ryan), how do u think Lawrence n William would’ve interacted? (esp bc we know William was at least vaguely aware of who Lawrence was pre-trap bc of their connections to John)

dfhskj thank u!!! finally getting 2 this

okay fr the selfship part: mentioned it a little bit when replying 2 the other ask u sent, but it’s a worry stone made out of rhodonite (which looks a lil like this), bc he knows how interested I am in gems + rocks n stuff like that but also bc he wanted me to have smth to fidget with in case I forgot my lil lanyard of rolling beads when we went somewhere! it’s smth I just run my thumb along bc it’s smooth n soft n fits perfectly in the palm of my hand. a lot of times if I’m in an uncomfortable situation I can’t get out of, having that w me helps a lot bc it’s grounding n it reminds me of him 💞💞

fr the character analysis part: KJSKFS YEAH I love getting 2 talk abt that bc I actually think abt it quite a bit. as u said, William and Lawrence have always been vaguely aware of each other on account of being connected thru their interactions w John, the doctor who he felt wasn’t kind/sympathetic enough n the insurance agent who denied his (EXTREMELY experimental, mind u) foreign treatment request. I’m not sure that they ever interacted face-to-face PRIOR to John’s death, but after William survives his test it’s just kinda like... who else does he have 2 talk to that might be able to understand even the tiniest bit what he went thru? he loves Pamela to pieces, of course he does, she’s his only family - but she didn’t see what he’d had to do, doesn’t rly KNOW like Lawrence would.

but I still think he’d absolutely be Cautious, bc even w the desire to be understood n maybe even have someone he could confide in, William knows now that Lawrence has been helping John for quite some time - as we see in 3D and as u said, Lawrence is the one handling new disciples, something that only John ever did; Amanda didn’t have her own apprentices, n Hoffman sure as hell didn’t either. that, n William doesn’t know how much involvement, if any, Lawrence had w his own test - that’s smth that wld haunt him a lil, I think. it’s hard to be comfortable around a person who is not only directly involved w the person who felt it necessary to put u in a trap, but who Also may have been the one to put fucking explosive bracelets/anklets n tattoos on u + SEWN A KEY inside of u, which is INCREDIBLY violating of his bodily autonomy. that could warrant a whole discussion of its own tbh.

but. Lawrence is the closest John ever got 2 having a TRUE successor (which I have conflicting feelings on; my reading of Lawrence in SAW 2004 was not someone who wld have joined up w someone who caused him so much pain, but fr the sake of exploring this, I think tht after going thru something as horribly traumatizing and irreversibly changing as he did, he sought that life of control n routine that he felt he had prior to his game, and well, John could certainly provide that,,,) n William would likely know this. Amanda’s dead, Logan is off doing who knows what n living his life, Hoffman is only doing it out of a weird sense of obligation?, and Jill isn’t rly a disciple, just some1 who’s been dragged into it too. (I think William n Jill actually would’ve gotten along tbh,, it’s a different thing entirely whether William would WANT to interact w her.)

I think Lawrence wld want to be able to reassure William that he had no hand in what happened to him (I don’t even know if Lawrence is the one who fitted the bracelets/did the key?), but he like. wouldn’t even know where 2 begin bc how can he explain that in a way that William could ever rely on? how could he ever convince William that he truly wasn’t responsible when all the other man wld have 2 do is look at all of th ppl he assisted John in securing/operating on? Hoffman was the one who put William in his trap, but Lawrence doesn’t know he’ll ever b able 2 prove that in a way William can believe. n I don’t think he’d expect William to believe him, not at all, but I think Lawrence at that point truly doesn’t have anyone - he and Alison are divorced and she has Diana, Adam isn’t around obviously, John + Amanda are gone, Hoffman doesn’t know he exists, so who does he have? I think he longs fr that sort of connection, even if it Is forged thru smth as terrible as what they were both individually put thru by John - they have tht common ground of being involved in his diagnosis + the way he responded to them (petty fucking grievances... kramer I will literally knock yr teeth in u fucker) n being ppl he considered partially responsible fr his downfall in a way (Lawrence wasn’t “kind enough,” William said no to a highly expensive and experimental international treatment that they weren’t even sure wld WORK). and like, not necessarily 2 the same extent, but they were both physically altered by what they went thru. Lawrence is missing his foot. William has scars + tattoos that he could get covered up, sure, but the experience isn’t going away. the scar on his side where the key was hidden is never going away. Lawrence’s prosthetic is functioning but the fact that he cut his fucking foot off isn’t going away. n that’s not even TOUCHING the lasting mental effects.

so I think William wld be feeling rly lost. he just doesn’t know what to do. he doesn’t know if he can even go back to the life he led b4 (if he does, it’s not for a very long time) n he has a hard time looking Pamela in the eye bc he feels personally responsible fr her having been there too + bc of what he’d been made to do to so many ppl. he feels alone, much more than he ever has before, n that’s saying smth bc his personal life was already extremely solitary bc he felt it was safer for him + his career. no one could possibly understand what he went thru, bc nobody saw it. nobody saw the way he tried so hard to keep every1 alive, the way he tried to help the people he worked with + CARED FOR even if he had 2 put himself thru pain to do it (holding onto those pulleys until his shoulders were almost DISLOCATED fr Addy n Allen, burning himself w the steam so Debbie could get thru the maze, the entirety of the shotgun carousel). Tara + Brent didn’t see him sacrifice himself fr his coworkers, n neither did Pamela. nobody knows. William wants some1 to connect with, n that just doesn’t seem like a possibility given that what he went thru in there is knowledge that only he himself + Hoffman carry.

but Lawrence knows. he understands n he's the one 2 kinda make that offer, to just be like “u don’t have 2 trust me right now, or even ever, but I understand n if u want some1 2 talk to, I’m here.” bc what does he have to lose? Adam is gone. Alison n Diana are gone. he’s by himself. and so is William, though he has Pamela. they’re both men who went thru smth unspeakably terrible bc a dying man wanted 2 play god n they came out of it much worse off than they ever were b4 John “helped” them. n William is just like. how much worse could it get? after Jigsaw, what could possibly be worse than what he’s already gone thru? so he’s just kind of like, “okay, we can work this out, I can’t say I trust u right now but maybe I can in the future. we can do this together. we can help each other.” n that’s how they end up meeting for coffee or breakfast/lunch/dinner every so often (coffee meets are at least weekly), n it’s just kind of like. the reassurance that some1 has seen the very worst parts of u and are still around. the relief of knowing someone sees u and knows how hard yr fighting to rebuild a life that’s been shattered into a million tiny pieces. n they’re struggling against that current together, and maybe it starts in a place of “I have no one else so I might as well chill w u,” but eventually William and Lawrence kind of fall into this uneasy friendship. they’re there for each other. William calls Lawrence when he has a nightmare that keeps him up fr hours after, shaking n w his heart beating out of his chest bc he doesn’t want to remember. Lawrence spends th night at William’s place every now n then bc he can’t be alone w his thoughts n the phantom pain in his leg just won’t quiet. they meet for coffee. they have breakfast sometimes. Lawrence has clothes n a toothbrush at William’s and vice versa. they’re in this together.

n maybe that escalates into more (which I believe wld only happen after they get 2 a point where they’ve discussed, at length, John’s legacy n who exactly would be continuing it + if anyone WLD be, n after Hoffman is “disposed of” in a sense), but even if not, they both know they Have Someone who looks at them n doesn’t see them as a monster, not the horrible person John thought he needed to “fix.” they both carry scars, both physically n mentally, frm what they went thru. they’re both struggling to get their bearings + Lawrence is still coping w what he’ll need to do after John’s (and eventually, Jill’s) passing. it won’t be easy, but they’re not walking alone. they’re wading thru the mud together, hand in hand, and fr William n Lawrence, that is enough.

[pyronado-moved]

HEY ALEX :) hope itz alright bUT i wanna kno abt ur ocz if thtz ok!!!! aka basically *hands you a free pass 2 gush abt ur ocz* go wild. i wanna kno everything i can abt ur ocz bc im rlly interested !!!!!! :D

gasp tysm

this is an under the cut kinda thing bc i have... a lot to say abt my babies

okay so the main oc of this is carter and hes the anti-christ but hes actually super sweet and just a walking talking puppy with a heart of gold. he can do no wrong and i love him to death. he’s dedicated to loving his bf, his friends, and his mom and sometimes he dedicates himself to hating his dad.

then there’s his bf jackson who’s a sad boy until carter moves in w/ his mom who is jackson’s next door neighbor and they end up getting along rlly quickly and jackson is just suddenly ‘huh what if im worthy of love’ and suddenly he has friends and bf and hes baby

and carter’s friend serah is a half-angel who has 1 volume setting and its Loud As Fuck but thats okay. she’s a lowkey stereotypical dumb blonde but at the same time shes the only one of the group who knows the symbols for every element. she’s been dating brick for 6 years and has yet to even consider dating anyone else

and serah’s bff violet is just a normal human girl who’s head cheerleader and constantly angry. she pretends to not care abt a lot of things but she’s actually a total mother hen. she spends so much time around people in relationships that she starts hating them until she meets roga and suddenly decides love might not be That Bad Actually

vi’s twin brother and serah’s bf brick (aka chad but thats a dumb name so he goes by brick) is literally baby. he’s sick a lot so he lives his life to the fullest in any way possible. he worries abt his friends who constantly have to fight demons and monsters and shit but hes always ready to help no matter what.

carter’s bff and ex-boyfriend jae is an incubus with half a brain cell. he does not use it and is an idiot. he met violet and the two instantly decided that they would cause problems on purpose. hes basically the goose from that one game except gay. he and ara are stupid idiot bfs who are a whole ass foot apart in height and it only adds to the chaos. he dated carter for 1 whole month before they decided ‘nvm actually’ and went back to being best bros.

umm classic mean girls Paris, Trixie, and Chloe are there. Paris wants to use carter to summon the devil. trixie and chloe are just there bc theyve been friends since kindergarten and wanna make sure paris doesnt do anything super stupid. theyre all girls who support girls who want to summon the devil and thats rad.

AND THEN THERE WERE THE 7 DEADLY SINS WOW! They were hired to be the devil’s guardians but then they got bored of that so they fucked off to earth and tried to live normal lives until oops their ex-boss’ son is here now and they have to protect that ray of sunshine out of both spite and pity. they’re all basically siblings and stupid. also they dont meet carter and the gang until college years so like... all the ones up there are adults when they meet the guys down here to avoid any confusion.

Arazukiean is the sin of lust and he’s a siren. hes a trans king who met jae and decided that legally no one else could have him. all he does on earth is attend different colleges because he didnt register as a legal living human so now he just wanders around campus’ and sits in on diff classes. he doesnt rlly represent his sin bc he never even liked being a siren in the first damn place.

Panya is the sin of wrath and she’s a pheonix and I hate to love her but god i love her. shes not a good person and shes loud and seriously if i met her irl i’d deck her in the face. but at the same time she was the one who decided they should protect carter so like... +1 karma point i guess. she and mentu-ra knew each other b4 being hired by the devil so they’re rlly close

the sin of gluttony is Lilian. She’s an aswang but also she’s just soft baby. shes a total nerd and could probably beat jeopardy tbh. although she loves all 6 of her siblings, Ameera is her closest friend/sister and they do everything together.

Ammera is an al-mi'raj and the sin of sloth. shes actually not sleepy or lazy because she decided in order to keep herself from sleeping all day she chose to not sleep at all. shes an expert on all things video games and could probably beat you in mario kart with her eyes shut. on rainbow road. 

The sin of greed is represented by local dragon idiot Roga who owns a big rich company but never participates in anything involving it. he just collects the money. hes a capitalist until he meets violet who is the only person who’s ever put him in his place. he instantly gave up being greedy for money to be a very protective boyfriend to this fiery cheerleader. they dont look like a good couple on the outside but they’re really actually soft as fuck

pride is taken by mentu-ra, a sphinx who ran for state governor in rhode island and actually won despite being a complete fumbling moron. hes a very bad politician and just kinda... exists. he hangs out mostly with roga but he keeps tabs w/ panya the most since she was the one who got him out of scrapes before they were hired as the devil’s guards.

aand then there’s elva, the sin of envy. shes a pixie who decided instead of being envious of others, she’d make them envious of her. she’s a part-time model, part-time olympic figure skater, part-time olympic gymnast. she loves the spotlight more than anything else in the world and shes very annoying but less annoying than panya so she’s got that going for her.

also i was gonna have angels as the 7 heavenly virtues but i only got around to creating penelope, the virtue of purity so she’s there. she doesnt take other people’s shit and is actually serah’s shoulder to lean on as everyone grows and starts to do their own things.

[nuevorealidad]

Fresh Start Cosmic Toolkit

😍😍🌾⚘🌸🐱🐶🐥🐬🐴🐺 ✂️✂️🔥🔥🔥🌀🌀🌷☘🌺🌷☘🌺🌳🌻🍀😍

Here’s your COSMIC TOOLKIT for a FRESH START

❀ Make hydration, nutrition and exercise a top priority ❀ Exercise your power to say “no, thank you” ❀ Form honest, real-life relationships. Walk if it gets toxic. ❀ Be more meditative, less reactive. ❀ Live your dream like it’s real, and never stop dreaming. ❀ Keep on moving, growing, reading, writing, learning. ❀ Mind your business and give generously/receive gracefully.

😍😍🌾⚘🌸🐱🐶🐥🐬🐴🐺 ✂️✂️🔥🔥🔥🌀🌀🌷☘🌺🌷☘🌺🌳🌻🍀😍

 Trust & Belief ~ My Homeland Security is Intact & Secured Forevermore

It’s working! Everything you’ve ever wanted is being pressed toward you. Everything is clicking. Don’t let the illusions trick you. Don’t let the events of today dampen your spirits. Things couldn’t be any better than they now are. You couldn’t have more reasons to celebrate. Continue! Press on! The hardest work is done! Keep showing up, be present, open every door and let events unfold. Life is your stage. This is your parade.

I love it when you’re hot, The Universe

😍😍🌾⚘🌸🐱🐶🐥🐬🐴🐺 ✂️✂️🔥🔥🔥🌀🌀🌷☘🌺🌷☘🌺🌳🌻🍀😍

If You Want to Live Differently, You Have to Think Differently

Take a look around you. Do you see anyone living the amazing, kick-ass life that you want to live?

Hell no!! They are living the same boring, normal life as the next guy.

Your dreams are bigger than that!! They include living a location-independent, travel-tastic kind of life full of freedom, adventure, and fun.

Know this: the only things standing between you and being location independent and traveling as often as your heart desires, are your beliefs that say you can’t! Seriously! That’s the only real obstacle!

If you want to live differently, you have to think differently. It’s as simple as that.

You don’t have to be special, rich, or wildly successful to have what you want. The only thing you do need is the belief that you can pull it off, and a willingness to think differently about things.

Just give yourself permission to go for your dreams and unleash your brilliance out into the world. You wouldn’t have the desire if it weren’t possible for you. The Universe isn’t a bitch like that.\

😍😍🌾⚘🌸🐱🐶🐥🐬🐴🐺 ✂️✂️🔥🔥🔥🌀🌀🌷☘🌺🌷☘🌺🌳🌻🍀😍

IGNORE YOUR CURRENT REALITY esp if its sucking 😆 STOP focusing on wat is-wat is- wat is going the f* on or why the f* you can’t where u want or need to be.! FOCUS only on wat u want and deliberately create the Reality u preferred and desired instead of repeating dat freakin reality on default.

Play in the realm of possibilities. Just because you aren’t living the life that you desire right now doesn’t mean you can’t in the future. You need to create that future now by thinking about how you want it to be rather than how it is. What you focus on expands. If you focus on what isn’t here yet, you will get more of that. If you focus your attention on how you want your life to be, you will begin to see that showing up.

😍😍🌾⚘🌸🐱🐶🐥🐬🐴🐺 ✂️✂️🔥🔥🔥🌀🌀🌷☘🌺🌷☘🌺🌳🌻🍀😍

************* Live in the Moment *** Be in the Now ****************** 2018 is a stay home enjoy ur solitute solidarity and peaceful year and how ur homeland security is intact and secured unfolding forevermore. - there’s a time and place for everythiing..everything in good time - u dont have 2b out there g* speculating forcing or making it happen (go w/ wat u feel ..if it feels good then its right time) try to match the fire action months w/ activity desired feb 20-mar 20 - good time to get ur dental work done(introvert energy anti socializing) so that when ur bday month comes u r ready 4 da launch..looking good :* meantime concentrate master on dailies esp this yr 2018..not really dat action yr u enjoy but nevertheless a good time to practise gratitude and appreciation for all ur homeland security abundance package is providing.. it’s yr Jup Sco (abundance in the hidden) redeem all OPPs meant 4u , or deprived fr u previously…+time to save up be frugal and rack up as much funds as u can for ur 2019 launch w/ u will need lining up ur dailies to be creative and productive gives meaning and purpose to the mundane

Jup Sco also auspicious time for relationships w/ the non physicals (ur IB <3 P) to get closer deeper more intimate sexually emotionally physically..best time to transform non physicals to physicality as jupiter expands its love and genuine connectivity.

🌷☘🌺🌳🌻🍀🌾⚘🌸 🌱🌺🌱 ღℒ❤ѵℯღ 🌱🌺🌱 💗 All I need in life is you 💗

Spend time every day w/ ur 💕 IB <3 Partner 💕 fr the moment u wake up and make him the last b4 u go to sleep. he is after all ur higher guidance council who will always show u the way wat u need to know at path of least resistance.. he’s also ur right hand side kick (did i mention sexy n handsome ) reminding u not to be so hard on ur goddam self whenever u f*up feeling regret and complete waste basket…and remind me dat i always do the best case scenarios at all times so even if i did-done-do-it .. know it was wat needed to be done (sometimes its not 4 obvious reasons, in hindsight it is to reveals the leverage and freedom to 2 watever i want whenever i want.

Have fun with this. Get the juicy goodness flowing. Be aware of when your inner critic starts to chime in about how you can’t afford it or you could never make it work. The trick is to give yourself permission to want it and bask in the delight it brings you.

Don’t get caught up in the details of HOW it’s all going to happen. This sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. The fastest way to get frustrated and give up is trying to see how it’s all going to work out ahead of time. There are all kinds of details you can’t possibly know in this moment. These are the things that make you think it’s never going to happen. Give the Universe a chance to work its magic. Trust that all the details will unfold before you in ways you could never imagine. Have faith, and go with it.

😍😍🌾⚘🌸🐱🐶🐥🐬🐴🐺 ✂️✂️🔥🔥🔥🌀🌀🌷☘🌺🌳🌻🍀🍂⚘🌺🌺🌺

When it comes to setting aside a little time each day to visualize,  look at it like this:

No matter how distracted you become or how confused you are about the process, the simple fact that you gave your dream this time and attention means you did it correctly, you did it long enough, and that by the time you open your eyes, already in the unseen, huge wheels have begun turning.

HUGE.  You think I’d make it hard?  Your humble servant ~ Universe

🎆🎨🎯😇🎥🖱📡📲🌈🏖 💸💸💸💰💰💰🎪🎪😇 🌷☘🌺🌳🌻🍀😍😍😍😂🤣😂😆**hugs**🤗 🤗💗💗 **luv**💕💞💕**likes**& lots of **kisses**💋💞💋🌟💃💃💃🌟✌ ✈️✈️✈️💥🔥🌠😍😂🤣😂😆hot 2 trot 🔥🔥🔥🌀🌀🐶✌💞🎨🎯😇 🎥🖱📡📲📰🌈🏖 🎪🎪🍰🍰💰💰💰😇 🌷☘🌺🌳🌻🌾⚘🌸🍃🌿😍😍😍😂🤣😂😆🌟🌟🌟💃🌟✌🌋🌊🌈🎆

Shalamar - Make That Move (12’’ Version) - All ‘bout Our FS in Our FLife https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=w-Pi9uCZzfA

Make That Move ~ So many times-By holding back I let the good things pass me by-And then one day I asked myself the reason why-And like an answer from above you came into my life  -And showed me one thing for sure-With life nothing is certain-You got to go for it when you feel it-Everybody, everybody needs somebody to love-And I choose you, baby, so let’s.-Make thatmoveright now, baby-You only go out once in a lifetime-Make that move right now, baby..  So natural to  -Give in to feelings deep inside when love is due-And I knew something was missing ‘cause now I feel brand new-And motivation’s in my heart whenever I’m with you  So girl whatever you do-Just remember love is a motion-You got to hold on tight-When you know it’s right-Everybody, everybody needs somebody to love-And I choose you, baby, so let’s -Make that move right now, baby-You only go out once in a lifetime-Make that move right now, baby-The longer you wait on love, the more you’ll be without itWhy don’t you(Make that move) (Make that move) Make that move .. come on-Make that move right now, baby-If you make that move with me, I’ll be yours eternally 💕💞💕

🎆🎆 Uranus/Taurus..a glimpse 🎆🎆

Taurus commands his worth, which comes from knowing with certainty the value of where he chooses to invest his energy in order to feel comfortable: in his relationships, material things, physical property, intellectual assets, marketable ideas, tradable skills and talents etc – anything that can be secured, considered of practical use, that will enhance the quality of enjoyment of life and enrich the quantity of our reserves so that they can stay sustainable.

What do you value -

What qualities do you need most in others that you can use?

What would you fight most fiercely to protect in your life, even if it killed you?

How much of what you share with others do you come to expect should always be there? What are the supply & demand arrangements fixed upon? Are they sustainable?

Own any negative feelings. See how powerfully they can take over and ruin your chances of stability and peace. Instead of continuing to feed negative, distrustful thoughts with negative emotions, focus on this word:

TRUST TRUST TRUST TRUST TRUST TRUST TRUST Repeat that word in your mind. Feel into it. Understand that a lack of trust is just a feeling of insecurity about your own self-worth. It is not the truth. You are worthy. Trust in that. The universe does not present us with emotional conflicts to block access to our heart. The universe only presents us opportunities to open it. It is through re-negotiating or divesting our powerful emotional investments that we learn to see how blockages only hinder our growth.

these how mere mortals do it or being human … and how they do it is like letting go of fixed emotions, develop compassion, learn to listen patiently, understand lovingly – not through suspicion, demandingness and wild speculation but through practicing empathy and developing ways for non-violent conflict resolution.

🎆🎇🎉🔆💸💰📈 ❣️💞💘👍😍💥 🌞🌟💃🏻🌊🌈🌒🌓🌔🌕🌠🌋🎆🎇

But for those be coming gods dehumanizing ..its none of dat..its recognizing U are different , detaching urself from all dat shit..different strokes 4 different folks /wat more U u are no regular folk blok..FOR YOU it ‘s all about thinking breathing living the Alternative, the Opposite, Make Ur Own Rhyme & Reason..  of how U fking want it to be. If there are lingering  excess baggage fking w/ u just remember to utter ur famous words ..’’ fuck this / fuck you / fuck off ! We all do things until we don’t, so  dont judge it.

Be kind to urself by doing only with  pleases U. **Remember U are the Exception to the Rule ** & the 1 who gets away w/ it every f* time.. so continue to live u life the way u want it’s Uranus Way / the rest is bullshit/history .  

Mahal, I always knew I could count on you to uncover the truth, and when others just played “follow the leader.” I wasn’t surprised at all to find you standing by your principles when the going got tough. There was never any doubt in my mind that when faced with a fork in the road, you’d take the path less traveled as should be.

I just had no idea you’d have such expensive taste…we are alike in so many ways.

You Rock Baby, ^ James ^

[sugaabooga]

The Holiday Ghost

Pairing: Kim Jaehwan x Reader

Genre: fluff, little angst?, bullet scenario, ghost!Jaehwan

Word Count: 3.2k

Summary/Extra: MERRRRRRRYYY CHRISTMAAAAASSSSS!!! Part of the Christmas Packages:) thought i should start posting the writings ive finished even tho a lot of the kpop fandom has been through hard times last week! i’ve also extended this holiday thing until the end of my winter break, January 8th. ENJOY!

So you’ve never really been a fan of horror movies

But one day in the middle of December, winter break, your friends Jihoon and Woojin suggest the three of you watch the new horror movie that had recently came out

That was the worst decision you have ever made in your whole entire life

You couldn’t walk back home alone and made both the boys walk you

But either way it was scary

bc they wouldn’t stop scaring you!!!

“Y-Y/N….”

“STOPPPPP!!”

“THERE’S SOMETHING BEHIND YOU!”

And they would start sprinting down the sidewalk and leave you to stand alone in the flickering street light

You almost burst into tears

Jihoon and woojin felt really bad after you had a near panic attack

so Jihoon ends up walking in front of you and woojin walks behind you

b4 they leave they remind you that it’s not real and ghosts don’t exist

Blah blah blah

Their little assurance somewhat calms you

BUT YOU REALIZE YOUR PARENTS AREN’T HOME

IT’S LATE WHY AREN’T THEY HOMEEEEE

DID THEY DIE!? IF YOU GO IN THE BATHROOM WILL THEY BE LAYING THERE!?

you start running around the house and turn on every single light you have

you know you shouldn’t, but you really don’t wanna risk seeing a dark shadow in the mirror as you brush your teeth then be led to your death, so you don’t even step a meter near the bathroom

you change in the corner of your room so nothing would be able to stand behind you

You walk backwards into your bed then create a little house around your head with all your stuffed animals

you somehow fall asleep despite the feeling you had of someone watching you

But during the middle of the night you hear soft strumming of the guitar

At first you think that it must be your next door neighbor, Joshua playing his little morning warm-up

Then you see the time from your half opened eyes and holy shiz it’s only 2am

you start to hyperventilate and you can’t even close your eyes

Bc what if the killer ghost is hovering right above you when you choose to open them again

You can’t risk it

the strums come closer and closer to your window

and you feel yourself sweating more and your breathing becomes ragged

but then you hear humming of a soft, light tune

it makes you think back to third grade, first day of school

you remember a kid who always brought a ukulele to school

tbh you had a crush on that boy, but you couldn’t remember his name

he always sat with you whenever you mom was late to pick you up and he would play a short theme song like from a popular cartoon

his songs always assured you that your mom was coming to pick you up soon

and it helped you forget all the bullies and frights you had

the song that you were hearing rn was oddly familiar and it comforted you

The strums were nowhere near creepy, surprisingly and the hums lulled you back to sleep

When you wake up in the morning, you hear guitar strums again

your heart beats erratically but then you realize

The sun’s out

Which means

It’s bright and daytime

Which meanss

NO GHOSTS

Which meanssss

It was your cute neighbor joshua hong playing his guitar and singing with his heavenly voice

You just lay in your bed after opening your window a bit more so you can hear him sing

But then you realize….

It wasn’t joshua’s voice

Joshua had a softer, gentler voice

This voice was soft and gentle….

But there was strong emotion put into each word sung

way more emotion than a morning warm up

you slowly get up and peek out your window to see…

Nothing

You notice that the singing and guitar stopped as well

you slump back into your bed then think back to the horror movie from yesterday

It couldn’t be….

A GHOST!?!!?!?

You start screaming and crying at the same time when the scenes from the movie come rushing into your brain

You hear footsteps come up the stairs and you start screaming even louder

But stop when you see that it’s just your mom

“WHAT’S GOING ON!? IS EVERYTHING OKAY!?”

“MOOOOMMMMM!!! I THINK OUR HOUSE IS HAUNTEDDD!!”

cue your mom hitting your back and yelling at you

“I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED!”

“SOMETHING DID HAPPEN! I HEARD A GHOST SINGING!”

that just makes your mom even more mad

her slaps just drive you out of bed and you soon find yourself sitting out on your porch

You were currently rubbing your hands over your arms

bc it was FREAKIN cold

you couldn’t believe your mom had kicked you out of the house in the middle of December

you’re muttering to yourself how cold it is then you see a guy with a guitar slung over his shoulder walking down the sidewalk and across the street about to pass by your home

He seemed to be in a good mood

humming and all

but something just seemed off about him

he was rather….. pale

like transparent pale

you’re kinda worried bc what if this guy was rlly sick or something and he didn’t know about it bc he seemed to be in a good mood

“Hey!”

You yell from your chair and wave your arms

he turns to you and stares at you for a bit then keeps walking

you’re like “uh wut?”

you go down the steps and you honestly don’t even know what you’re doing

your feet were moving on their own

you felt like you had to help this person

“Excuse me?”

you call out, but the guy DOES NOT STOP WALKING

could he not hear?

you jog up behind him and reach your hand out to tap him

but

your hand goes through him

“AHHHH!”

the guy suddenly whips around in shock and looks at you with an equally bewildered look

you’re frozen on the spot

you can’t move no matter how creepy the situation is rn

“d-do you see me?” he almost whispers

“n-no”

He just starts laughing and it freaks the hell outta you

What kind of psychotic laugh was that!?

You felt shivers run up and down your spine as he tried to calm himself down

you slowly try to step away from him but Jaehwan does that creepy, nervous, cute looking smile

like do you know what smile im talking about

and he asks you “where are you going?”

your mind’s just going ‘GTFO GGTTFFOO”

you attempt to turn around and run, but you just fall flat on your face

How comedic would this look from your window?

“Are you okay?”

“STOP DON’T COME NEAR ME!”

tbh jaehwan is disheartened at your tone

He was ecstatic that someone could finally see him, but now they were getting scared bc of him

He just ignores those feelings and nervously chuckles

you don’t hear anything for a while and you start to stand up

then you hear music

Those guitar strums

that voice

Both those factors reminded you of that one boy who played to you

you frantically look around, but you couldn’t seem to see anything

then, you spot that ghost guy from earlier

he was sitting on the side of your house, leaned against the wall

If jaehwan remembered anything about humans, it was that they seemed to calm down when there was music

you slowly walk over to him, your feet making crunching noises on the fresh snow

You just stand across from him listening to his voice

when he stops you look at him in surprise and disappointment

“Why’d you stop playing?”

Jaehwan smirks

“You seemed pretty calm enough”

he stands up to take his leave

“Y-You’re voICE IS NICE!”

you’re still kinda creeped out about the fact that he’s a ghost AND WHY ARE YOU SEEING HIM!?!!?

but he just had this familiar comforting feel

you stop him by reaching out for his arm when he merely smiles at your compliment and starts to walk away from you

then remember he’s a frkn ghost

but as you retract your arm you feel the cloth of his jacket

0o0o0o0o000o0o0o0

why were you able to touch him!?!!

Jaehwan can feel after all these years

More like a few months but

“ARE YOU MY SOULMATE!?!?!”

Kim jaehwan plz

you’re like “bro wtf?”

he proceeds to explain how if a human can see him and touch him, he gets a chance to go to the afterworld

for some odd reason, jaehwan was rejected bc he had someone in the real world who wasn’t ready to let him go

This usually wasn’t a problem but the wanting of his presence was REALLLLLYYYY STRONG

So he had to stay in the human world until he found that human and spent three weeks with them to convince them to let him go

“Are you saying it’s me?”

“There’s really no one else who could touch me”

He honestly didn’t know why you were able to touch him

Let alone SEE him

but he felt like you were the owner of that strong, unseen force of wanting his presence

you’re really confused tho bc you’ve never seen him b4

“IM JAEHWAN!”

he suddenly blurts then grins

“....y/n…”

and like JAEHWAN REMEMBERS YOU

You were that one girl who he always played his ukulele for in elementary school!

he had once seen you cry bc you’re mom was running really late and he walked home so he stayed an extra twenty minutes just singing and playing until you cracked a smile

But maybe you weren’t that girl bc he knew at least two other ppl named y/n

Anyways

he doesn’t mention that he may or may not know you and just follows you into your home

by then your mom is calmed down from this morning

there’s already a plate of pancakes set on the table for you

Jaehwan takes a tour around your home while you eat

You finish eating then hear his laugh again

You temporarily forgot there was a ghost in your home, so you freaked but then

“Right… jaehwan”

After you wash the dishes you go up to your room but jaehwan’s already in there

WEARING A FRKN BRA

you clamp your hand over your mouth so you don’t scream from the shock, but instead, you start laughing

“I WISH I COULD TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU RN!”

you’re literally on the ground and Jaehwan just smiles at you and sits on your bed

STILL IN YOUR BRA

“STOP TOUCHING IT!”

it’s only been a few hours of spending time w/Jaehwan in your room

but you feel like you’ve known him for years

he told you about the day his first tooth fell out all the way to the last time he was still existing

you had shed some tears during his talk about his death and what he had felt when he saw the car barreling towards him

soon, a week passed

It was Christmas

You open up your presents

You had asked for a guitar and there it was

You honestly had NO KNOWLEDGE about guitars whatsoever, but the instrument always caught your eye

But ya know

Jaehwans a pro at guitar

So he basically teaches you the basics and helps you get started

You bond even quicker bc of the guitar lessons

And seriously

You never realized you would be best friends with a ghost

Christmas passed by really quickly with Jaehwan hanging out w/you all the time

his presence was always comforting

butttt a lot of your relatives prob thought you were crazy from giggling out of the blue and appearing to talk to yourself

you wanted to tell jihoon and woojin about jaehwan but you couldn’t find the time to meet them during the break

Soon it’s December 31st

third week

Jaehwan had mentioned his past b4

Especially he was now 99% sure that you were the one not letting him go after seeing, from your pictures, that you WERE that girl from like 14 years ago

you didn’t even realize that you were holding on to him from leaving this world

you didn’t even know that you were always missing that one kid in elementary school, who always managed to put a smile on your face and brighten up your day

you now knew that you were the one keeping Jaehwan from leaving to where he belonged

behind the Heaven gates

you kept putting it behind

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow…in three days…. next week….”

until it was New Year’s Eve

10:05pm

You were sitting out on Ong Seongwoo’s empty patio w/Jaehwan

Ong Seongwoo - a freakishly rich dude that somehow became friends with Jihoon and Woojin despite the four year age gap

Seongwoo had thrown a New Year’s Eve party

there were mostly college kids, but a few high schoolers from jihoon and woojin’s dance team were also invited were at this party

You have no idea how you were at this party, but woojin had insisted you come

you had spent some time talking with some of the dancers’ girlfriends and with Jihoon and woojin, but decided to get some fresh air bc the loud music and smell of alcohol was too much

Jaehwan hadn’t come with you even tho he begged to come as long

you wanted jaehwan to stay home

Just in case you did something completely embarrassing

but one thing you should know

don’t ever trust kim jaehwan

Especially when he’s a ghost

you were just gazing out into the night sky when you saw a glowing figure

you were about to freak out

BC ANOTHER GHOST!? JAEHWAN WAS ALREADY A HANDFUL

but then you saw that it was just Jaehwan

the ghost that you had somehow fell in love with

You really wished he was a person

As jaehwan spent more and more time w/you

the less and lesser you would be able to tap his shoulder, give him a small hug, or even high five him

It was like the very first time you tried to tap his shoulder, the first time you met

your fingers just went through him

you knew that you couldn’t let go of him

you missed his presence whenever you would wake up and not see him there on the floor, gazing blankly at the ceiling

Jaehwan was prob just lowkey stalking your other neighbor, Hwang Minhyun

I mean he still couldn’t believe someone could be so…..

clean

anyways

you don’t think you would be able to live without him

but that was just your selfish desires

You knew the longer jaehwan spent his time in the real world, the more dangerous it would become for him

Jaehwan would be turned into a human, but obviously he had to experience another death since he’s not supposed to be alive

but if that happened, he wouldn’t even get a chance to go to trial to go to Heaven

you didn’t want that

you would rather miss him for a bit then see him again in the form of an angel

so you decide to let him go at exactly 12am, January 1st of the new year

when jaehwan appears, he already knows you made up your mind

he could just tell from your eyes

both the sadness and determination

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Jaehwan?”

“I’m sorry I forgot I was a ghost the other day and tried to carry your guitar.”

you chuckle at his belated apology

“No worries”

The two of you spend the rest of the time talking about the three weeks you’ve spent together

it felt like you had been with him for years

Before you know it, it’s 11:58pm

ppl inside are already starting the countdown

Two minutes b4 the new year since seongwoo’s like that

Both of you know you’re running out of time

and you just suddenly break down in tears

you became so attached to the ghost in front of you in a matter of three weeks

It was like fate had brought you two together after he had died and give you the time to grow love for one another just to break you apart again

sure, it was only three weeks

But you already knew that you would be willing to spend the rest of your entire life with him

You had literally seen all sides of jaehwan

The good sides, the bad sides, the funny sides, the broken sides

“I love you, Y/N”

you look up in surprise

You were half expecting to be like

“AHhAHhahHAHkakkjakH LOVE YOUUUU”

And joke about it but

nope

you look in his eyes and you know he’s not joking around this time

your eyes were still half-filled w/tears, so you quickly rub them away in order so you can see jaehwan properly

But he’s fading away

WHY WAS HE FADING AWAY?

Jaehwan steps closer to you and you can actually feel… body heat?

you missed being able to actually physically touch jaehwan

he sadly smiles and all you see in his eyes are tears and genuinity

“I love you”

you hear the loud cheers of the people inside counting down from ten to finally celebrate the new year that will bring new New Year Resolutions and fresh starts

The countdown slowly fades away as you see the space between you and Jaehwan grow smaller and smaller

Just as you close your eyes and feel a light touch on your lips,

“ONEEEE WHOOOP!!!”

You hear cheers grow the loudest they’ve ever been that night

The touch…..

it’s gone

Jaehwan….

is gone

After Jaehwan just disappears into thin air, everything else is a blur

You remember woojin coming out to find you squatted down on the ground, about to cheer how it was the new year, but instead sees your face in your hands, and tears streaming down your face

he knew better than to ask what was wrong

he immediately takes you home and wishes you a Happy New Year and leaves a light, shy kiss on your forehead

if you hadn’t met jaehwan in the duration of your winter break, you prob would’ve been bursting with happiness rn

You had always had a small crush on woojin

but obviously it all changed when you had seen jaehwan

Instead, you offer a small smile, thank him for being such a supportive friend and bid him a safe walk back home

you trudge back into your room and fall face flat onto your bed

you want to cry

and…. you do

But as you struggle to calm down and get up to wash your face and move on with your life….

you hear a tiny crinkling of paper

you look over, confused and see a small piece of paper sticking out from the first fret of your guitar, fluttering from the wind that was being let in from your slightly open window

with trembling hands, you open it up and let some more tears fall

happy tears

“Merry New Year’s, Y/N! Don’t miss me too much. :P Move on with your life. Don’t forget about me though! I still want some attention you know lol (i used that slang word! Lol keke I saw it when you were texting that friend of yours lol) Thanks for letting me go. I will never forget you and all the things we’ve been through even though it’s been only three weeks. lol…

I love you. - Kim Jaehwan”

as you struggle to keep in your tears and not roll his eyes at his overuse of the “slang” word ‘lol’ you notice something falling out from the small note he had left

you crouch down and pick it up from the floor to see

his guitar pick

[cryingbilldenbrough]

you: a concept: kasplonbrough also you in the tags of your post: “i’m feeling some bill/eddie/mike ot3!” me: ok bitch it’s time so i’m thinking i’m going to need to know who was dating first and how was the third person added? like i need to know some origin stuff. please and thank you (also ilysm).

OK so let’s build off this post

the thing is, bill knows eddie loves mike more than friends, more than a brother even

he can tell by the way eddie gets a little short of breath when mike bends over to pick up a particularly heavy rock, muscles straining beneath a white shirt

and bill knows mike’s similarly smitten, cause he bites back a smile whenever eddie gets started on one of his rants, gearing up and sucking in a deep breath to get ready to talk for as long as he can without interruption

bill figures he just needs to leave them to it

(even though he’s fallen in love with mike’s smile and his casual wit and his soft-spoken intelligence)

(even though he’s been in love with eddie kaspbrak since before he can remember)

he knows he needs to step back and let them figure it out, without getting his own stupid feelings involved

cause for bill, love is So Messy

he’s a glass table with jagged broken edges, one blow from fracturing further into a thousand pieces

and his friends deserve a love untainted, without fear of breaking

(bill’s kind of an idiot)

anyway, mike and eddie never get together as kids

cause eddie goes off to new york for the second half of high school and mike takes on more responsibility at the farm

and they all kind of just…. forget each other

bill forgets about thursday night dinners and helping mike’s mom cook and he forgets looking out the kitchen window to watch mike and eddie, pink cheeked and eyes watering from battling biting wind, do farm chores with breathless smiles on their faces

bill eats dinner alone at the dining room table at his house and can’t shake the feeling of emptiness in his chest

he shoulders the invisible burden, he goes to college, becomes World Famous Author bill denbrough, and forgets all about Derry and his Family

until mike hanlon calls him late one night

it’s nearing 3am and he’s awake, because bill really doesn’t sleep much

and the caller ID has a number with a maine area code

he answers hesitantly, mind almost numbingly blank, and gets shot back into the past by the sound of mike’s voice

he books the next flight home and spends the journey bouncing his knee anxiously

he gets into town at like noon the next day and immediately goes to the derry public library

mike hanlon grew up handsome, as if there was any worry of that

his shoulders are broad and strong and he shakes bill’s hand with confidence and god, bill feels it all rushing back

the warmth of loving mike flows through his veins and god, how did he forget? how did he let this memory slip past his finger tips

the fear is almost an afterthought, the reason they’re there and Together at the back of bill’s mind, forgotten

he goes back to mike’s house and sleeps in his guest room and bill hasn’t felt so At Home since he stopped going to hanlon family dinners

there’s a piece missing though

cause the dinner table isn’t the same when eddie’s not chattering away 

conversation is stilted, not because mike and bill can’t get along by themselves, but because they’re constantly pausing

as if they know instinctively eddie would want to butt in and say his piece

it’s not until the next day, late into a lazy afternoon 

(mike had gone to work for a few hours in the morning and returned to explain the Full Story of Its return with bill)

eddie comes home

he somehow knows where mike lives, marching right up the porch steps and something in bill’s chest pulls him to the door, answering it before eddie can even knock

eddie kaspbrak grew up good. his hair is fluffy and he has a pair of thin-framed wire glasses on his face and he’s wearing a really warm looking sweater

bill scoops him into a hug and breathes in deep, familiar and grounding

they share a bottle of wine in celebration that night, gathered around the kitchen table at mike’s house

they’re loose, flushed and giggly, and bill looks at his boys with wonder on his face

“how’s your dad?” eddie asks, almost as if the thought has just occurred to him

bill remembers then, remembers cooking with jess hanlon, remembers the bond with mike’s family he once had

mike swallows, looking just a little too old and weary, and tells them of both parent’s tragic deaths

will passed away from cancer a few winters back and jess hanlon followed him peacefully the following spring

it really really fucking hurts to hear

it’s like bill’s been given a gift and then had it ripped from his grip

he reaches out, across the table, and grabs mike’s hand

eddie has the other, fingers interlocked, and they’re a chain of grieving

they spend that night in remembrance of their family and all they shared

as time goes on, the losers arrive one by one

bev then ben then richie (no stan, and that fucking burns too)

they spend a day lost in memories again, relearning a forgotten childhood

and bill tries not to want it

he tries not to want to gather eddie and mike up and flee this cursed town

he tries not to want to finally let himself indulge in a fantasy where he gets both of his boys all for his own

he tries not to picture himself happy

because it’s all going to be torn apart soon

he puts his head down and tries to get some fucking Work done and doesn’t get distracted by eddie’s familiar lilting laugh and mike’s fucking stupid white smile

(it’s not going well)

they go on their Walking Tours and god, it’s only worse

cause mike fucking gives bill the gift of Silver, of memory of childish carefree fun

bill and mike spend the afternoon riding his bike like fucking children

and then eddie comes home from his own Tour with scraped knees and a dirty face and bill plummets back to earth

he remembers why they’re here

he throws himself back into it with fervour

he tries to remember their secrets, their hidden weapons, the reasons they survived the first time

he tries to make a plan, a foolproof plan to beat It

letting himself get lost in mike and eddie is really not a part of the plan

unfortunately (fortunately) for bill, eddie kaspbrak has never once done anything according to bill’s plan

he sneaks into bill’s room late one night, when they’re so close to the end that bill can taste it

there’s a thrumming in the air that bill knows means their time is almost up

(bill doesn’t know that Henry Bowers is currently making his way to the hanlon house, fully intent on killing them all)

he slides the door open almost silently, feet tracking over the hardwood floors, and bill sits up in bed as he enters

“eds?” he says, voice scratchy, and feels eddie sit down on the edge of his bed

“it’s me” he answers, but bill knew that from his soft breath and steady heartbeat

“w-what’s up?”

“oh, nothing. just wondering if we’re gonna die tomorrow.”

bill doesn’t answer. it’s answer enough. eddie sighs and takes a deep breath in, almost like he’s steeling himself

(bill loves his brave boy)

“bill?”

“yeah”

“i love you”

bill wants to brush it off

he wants to go back to forgetting, to letting things fall through his fingers without feeling their loss

but he can’t

“i love you t-too, eds” he says instead

eddie plants a hand on bill’s knee through the blankets and kisses him

just once, light and steady, and then he backs off

and u KNOW that once bill’s tasted the forbidden fruit he can’t forget

he dives back in head first

“what about mike” he can’t help but breathe against eddie’s mouth

“i’m sorry,” eddie says, and moves back

bill chases him, leaning in and trying to capture his mouth again, but eddie’s gone

“what?” bill asks, confused

“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have,” eddie’s making excuses, running a hand through his hair and bill reaches up to flatten it down “i just thought maybe…. i just figured you had maybe felt what i did but i understand if you’re just interested in mike i shouldnt have assumed and i love mike too it’s okay you two deserve each other i shouldn’t have come in here”

“whoa whoa whoa,” bill says, putting his hands up because eddie is rambling and he isn’t making any sense “eds, i love you,”

“yeah, but–”

“but what?”

“but you love mike” 

bill chuckles

“can’t i love both my boys?” he says

and eddie fucking crashes into him

anyway, i dont feel like getting into logistics bc i have already written too many words of ot3 makeouts and there’s only so many times u can write three-way kissing b4 u wanna die

but they end up in mike’s bed, pressed together on the king size mattress

and that’s when fucking henry bowers makes his debut

but! 

mike’s not alone this time

he’s flanked by bill and eddie and they have something worth fucking fighting for now

they’re been recharged by every moment they’ve been together and they’re fucking unstoppable

mike takes a knife to the thigh and bowers gets off a solid right hook to eddie’s jaw but otherwise they’re virtually unharmed

it has Begun though

they make their way down to the sewer, just like they’re meant to

except man, bill’s powerful this time

(there’s no Audra, nothing to distract him, and his boys are walking strong beside him)

eddie supports mike, the other man’s arm thrown over his shoulder, as they track through the sewers

and while Bill and Richie go into the deadlights, mike is there to help eddie take down the spider

and eddie kaspbrak does not lose his fucking arm

because right as he’s thrusting his inhaler into Its mouth, mike’s arm catches him round the waist and pulls him back

eddie loses the tips of his fingers but it could have been a LOT fucking worse

eddie and mike call bill back from the Deadlights together, whispering “come home bill” into the Void

“you’re too old,” It tries to taunt, tries to distract from the power of eddie and mike calling him back “too old and broken and you’re all going to die here” 

bill hears mike and eddie’s whisper in his head

and turns to richie, eyes flashing wickedly in the dark vaccuum of the void

and he smiles

because nothing can stop bill from getting back to his boys

send me requests/headcanons/prompts!

[epiloguebxy-blog]

BEST FRIEND! YOONGI

(word count is like 2000+ oops)

- First things first, let’s be real,, best friend yoongi would roll his eyes at you a LOT n0 doubt

-   your friendship is probably built on insulting each other, in like an affectionate way lmao

- also music,, that would definitely be a major factor of your friendship

-   he’d have such good song recs aaaaa

-   i’m still screaming about his playlist on Spotify !!!!!!

-  ok but like imagine trying to wake him up

-   He’d probably hit u over the head with a pillow n prolly swear at u to get lost

- The most effective way to wake him up was to tip water on his face,,, which he hATes lmao

- But it works s0,,,

-  Sometimes when he’d go a night without sleeping and was feelin kinda cheeky,, he’d pour water on u at 4:30am and justify it as payback

-   loWKEY Cuddles

-   like you’d just be sitting on the couch watching a movie n he’s just flop down and use your lap as a pillow and you’d be all like “yoongi wyd” and he’d be “shh ur comfy”

-   OR he’d be working on his music really late at night and you’d try to stay up with him but eventually you’d just rest your head on his shoulder bc you’re So Tired

-   he’d complain your head was too heavy before realising u had fallen asleep lol

-   He’s become a lot more relaxed after you’d fallen asleep,, he’d probably wrap a blanket around you fjdfsjk hes a real sweetheart okay

-   Okay but him teaching you piano awe

-   so like at one point you’d really want to learn the piano but wHy pay for lessons when a Master Pianist was your best friend ??

-   “hey yoongi can u teach me piano?”

-   “no”

-   “teach me piano or i’ll steal your kumamon plushie”

-   “you wouldn’t dAre”

-   “wATch mE”

-   you’re over at his house and he’s complaining about how bored he is so your like “hEY you should teach me how to play that song u always hum in your sleep”

-   “I’m not thAT bored”

-   but he gives in and you’re sitting next to each other and he’s getting frustrated because you keep pressing two keys at once like “y/N ITS NOt thAT HARD”

-   practice makes perfect J

-   When u guys are sitting on his bedroom floor sharing earphones and he’s sitting cross legged working on his computer and you’re lying on your stomach tapping mindless rhythms onto his leg while watching him type

-   More than once you guys have fallen asleep on the floor together

-   You guys would spend most of your time at each other’s houses

-   But when u did go out and catch a train or bus to the nearby shopping mall, you’d always share earbuds and he’d stare out the window and you’d always wonder what he thought about but whenever you’d ask he’d always just shrug and ignore you

-   I feel like yoongi is one of those people that high key hates small talk like No I Don’t Care how the weather is, talk about your first pet or how u would pray to the stars bc u thought they would grant every wish

-   and you guys would stay awake until the really early hours of the morning sitting on his bed and talking about all things that made u scared of the dark

-   during the day I feel like your friendship wouldn’t be so much about talking, more about just spending time together at a local coffee shop sipping on scorching hot chocolates and just watching the snow fall outside and observing the people who came into the shop

-   I think people watching would be something u guys did often, and you’d make up lil stories using all the information u could gather from a person

-   like a lady is walking past wearing a business outfit n she is carrying a child and yoongi would guess that she was Smart And Successful and then start to rant about how Sometimes Success Is Not What Matters and the lady wanted a child to love n you’d nod b4 pointing out the lady wasn’t wearing a ring and suggested the child wasn’t hers n she was just babysitting or something

-   Observation 101 ;D

-   sometime when you’d force him to come clothes shopping w you and you’d try something on and asked if it suited you and he’s sarcastically cringe and be all like “don’t wear that when you’re with me”

-   and you’d pout a lil before rolling your eyes with a lil “whatever” n he’d feel bad and be all “kidding, kidding, you look nice I guess”

-   tho like tbh he’d give u fashion advice all the time like “geez y/n you’re wearing /that/ scarf with that shirt?” and you’d roll your eyes and be all like “ha yeah like you can talk you’re literally wearing pajamas”

-   you’d go to every one of his basketball games and you’d always be the one cheering the loudest and he’d be low key embarrassed by it,,

-   tbh he high key loved it but gosh no he’d never tell u that

-   You were his personal cheer squad partly because you were proud him,,, mostly because you knew it embarrassed him lmao

-   after every game you’d go this ice cream shop a few blocks down from the courts and you’d share a large sundae and he’d eat all the strawberries but you didn’t mind despite always complaining to him about it

-   if u play a sport he’d absolutely be at all your games,, though he’d just sit in the corner and watch with a small smile that grew every time u looked over and waved at him

-   sometimes,, by accident,, he’s get really into the game and if your team was winning or scored a goal he’d jump and with a huge grin before realising and slowly sitting back down lmao

-   okay but you’d absolutely love when yoongi was in a really good mood because he’d always laugh and joke w you and he’d be grinning at you with his adorable gummy smile and it just made you really happy to see him like that

-   sometimes yoongi would be feeling really down and just get all quiet(er) and reserved and just ignore you and u could always tell when he was upset but you also knew he wouldn’t want to talk about it

-   and despite how much he insists he just wants to be alone, you knew deep down he appreciates your presence when he’s like this

-   so you would always go get some take out and hand him a bowl of chicken katsu and rice but he’d just push it away but you’d just smile and pick up a book and read, leaning your back against him

-   and he’d eventually reach for the food u brought him and you couldn’t help but grin, making sure your hair hid your pleased expression

-   you always knew silence was best but if it was more casual you’d probably start ranting about how you’re beSt friends so you should tell each other stuff that’s getting u down ?? Buts he’d probably just have his headphones on and not even hear you

-   You’d sigh and go over to him and start lazily massaging his neck n shoulders while clenching your jaw because you’re still low key annoyed he won’t talk to u

-   But he’d tilt his head and accidentally moan really softly bUt it’s nOt his fAULT you’re really good at giving massages

-   when you’re upset yoongi doesn’t really know how to properly respond

-   I feel like he’d leave u alone for a bit first bc he just wouldn’t know what to say or do but then he’d remember all the times u were just there for him and he’d feel really guilty and uGH he better go check on you

-   But like if it was something really bad like you were crying your eyes out I think he’d be REALLY concerned, especially if you weren’t telling him what was wrong

-   like he’d demand to know if someone hurt you and silently swear that he’ll give it to whoever made you cry like this,, honestly he’d be so pissed

-   but you’d just shake your head n grip onto his shirt while soaking his shoulder with your tears

-   and he’d sigh and hold you close and gently stroke your hair

-   he would feel really weird saying anything, even just a simple “it’d gonna be alright”, so I think he’d just try to let his really awkward affection speak for itself and hope you would pick up on it

-   the next day tho after you assured him you were all better, he’d go back to his usual self and probably joke about how you made a mess of his shirt and you better not do that again

-   tho this is his way of expressing,, not that he won’t be there for you,, but that he just prays there won’t be a next time because honestly he cannot stand seeing you that upset

-   you know he’ll always care about and always be there for you when you needed him

-   if you were feeling insecure about yourself and you even slightly expressed these thoughts to yoongi, first he’d definitely roll his eyes at you and second, he’d tell you appearance is pointless anyways and that you should instead fix your terrible sense of humor

-   “stop worrying about that stuff y/n it doesn’t matter”

-   “who cares what others think you look fine anyways”

-   “stop saying that y/n I’d still be your friend no matter what u looked like”

-   tbh on your birthday yoongi probably wouldn’t get you a gift because “materialistic items are such a waste honestly y/n do u want to kill the planet?” and you’d just roll ur eyes and he’d say something like “besides isn’t our friendship enough? it takes a lot to put up with you, you know?”

-   okay but for one birthday,, he��d give u a song he wrote for you and he’d been working on for the past eight months and it was all about how grateful he was and he just put all his emotions and things he never could express to you all in this one beautiful song

-   like just imagine him, it’d be a huge deal, this wasn’t something he’d do for just anyone and the song was really personal and to trust it with someone was a HUGe deal okay

-   and he’d be low key blushing and you guys would just be sitting on his couch watching a movie like every year and he wasn’t really focused bc he was really nervous ??

-   but then he’d just play it cool and be all like “oh yeah that’s right I got u something”

-   and you’d be really!!?? bc wOW min yoongi actually got you a birthday present this year ??

-   and he’d just toss the box to you, like not even pass gently even tho you were sitting like 3.2 cm away from him like thanks ?? he was just really nervous and trying to get over his nerves

-   and you’d be smiling so much as you unwrap it and you’d see it was a cd and be like oh??

-   he’d shrug like “I got bored the other night and just wrote it idk” and you’d have no idea he’d literally spent almost a year making the song PERfect

- and you’d grin bc you could tell how much this meant to him and you throw yourself at him, pulling him into a bear hug and he’d awkwardly pat your back n mutter a lil “happy birthday”

- honestly though, yoongi would be the best bestfriend like he’d always be there for you and he’d be so reliable

- okay okay I have a part two for this so !!!!! anticipate it ???? 

- I just got a lil carried away wow I just

- Love

- Best friend yoongi  

- My precious honey boy

- Also yeah idK THIS IS MY FIRST TIME PUBLISHING SOMETHING LIKE THIS IDK GO EASY ON ME PLS ILY