#and starting in high school would tell me for like 8 years straight that she doesnt respect me at all and yet

[ikyw-t]

hm realizing that this year marks a decade of me writing my own songs and how im actually for real for real going to finally post some music online this year... which is mostly very exciting bc i have nothing to lose.

but then also i can't help but think of two separate occasions when i was 14 or 15 and went to an open mic night with my twin sister and one of her friends and when she found out i had signed up to sing + play a couple of songs she literally left the coffee shop and walked all the way down the block rather than have to endure 10 minutes of my singing which.... feels almost comically overdramatic and atrocious but mostly just still makes me feel pretty shite lmao .... esp when i remember how when i had first started writing i would try to show her all of my writing which believe it or not she was also never once supportive about... lol anyway. just twin things ig!

[zweiginator]

pls hear me out on this🙌

so like you live in a small home town, and when the zweigs move there to settle down, they join the local church to get to know people better, but patrick is completely against it until he sees reader — who is so cute and innocent and would never do anything to upset God because she’d feel so guilty and immediately go to confess her sins — and he just wants to corrupt her completely so the only person she can worship is him🤭

yes. and mr. zweig was so well-respected and established in the city they lived in before they decided to move. they want a farmhouse and to live by the countryside. a simpler life. patrick loves the bustle of the city and being surrounded by people. he despises the idea of moving and everyone knows it. the family just wants to ground themselves a little better in your town; they aren't highly religious people, but given the role of the church, it would be stupid to stay neutral.

so the zweigs join. and patrick figures they're pulling his leg, or it's something they'll back out of once 8 am on sunday rolls around. but there his father is, knocking on his bedroom door at 7:30, telling patrick to get his slacks on and he just can't fucking believe this.

they're too small for him; he's grown a few inches since he last wore them for his high school graduation three years ago. he really doesn't want to go but arguing with his father would be a death wish and two hours wouldn't kill him. he packs a joint and shoves it in his front pocket, slips a lighter in the other.

when they get to the church, a bonafide chapel with a pointed white roof and rows of scratched wooden pews, windows with rainbows of stained glass--patrick realizes this is the real fucking deal. it gives him the creeps, but he sits down and then he sees you across the aisle, smoothing your pristine ivory dress. you're sitting so straight and you're oh so attentive to the pastor. your hands are already neatly folded on your lap, as if you can't wait to pray and fuck--why does patrick always want what he can't have? what he shouldn't have?

you look over at him, feeling the intensity of his stare, barely visible in your peripheral vision. patrick's green eyes meld into yours and even how he looks at you is demanding. all-encompassing and powerful. it makes you blush and you've never seen him before. but you're not involved with boys. your father wouldn't allow it. and even though you've had crushes, temptations and desires, you don't give into them. it's not worth your father finding out. even if he didn't find out through word of mouth in your tiny little town, he would inevitably hear it from you, yourself as you confessed to him, knelt in that wretched little booth as you begged the Father--and your father--for forgiveness.

so you didn't dare break the rules. you would sit patiently and wait for your knight in shining armor like your father always says will happen. you would move slowly until he asked you to marry him and you would only consummate the marriage after everything was perfectly official. that's how it works.

but patrick's eyes don't stop watching you for the entirety of the service. you feel like a tiny ant, stuck under a microscope in the burning daylight because you swear his gaze is making your skin burn and you just want to tell him to stop. what does he want? hasn't he heard of being respectful? a gentleman?

you can also hear his foot tapping. his pressed shirt crinkling as he raises his wrist twice every minute to check the time as if that will make it go faster.

you glare at him. it's rude, but you're annoyed and this is church. who doesn't listen to the word of the lord?

patrick isn't affected. he winks at you and then you see he's flipping a red lighter in his right hand and you look at him quizzically. you shake your head at him and revert your attention back to your father, leaning forward slightly.

patrick starts flicking his thumb across the starter of the lighter. it's loud and obnoxious and distracting. your jaw tenses but you don't look at him. you won't.

two minutes later, you look over and he isn't there anymore. there's an empty space between who you assume are his parents. thank goodness, you think.

no more distractions.

and then you hear rustling by the window you're closest to. and through the kaleidoscope of the red and blue stained glass that separates you, you can tell it's patrick. and he's smoking.

you excuse yourself and pretend you have to go to the bathroom. you'll ask for forgiveness later.

you go outside and turn the corner. sure enough, you were right.

you tap him on the shoulder.

"mm." his eyebrows raise as he takes a puff of whatever it is he's smoking. it smells awful. "hey. do you want some?" he extends his arm and you shoo it away.

"no, no! what is that? you can't be smoking here." you cross your arms. patrick is much taller than you. he smiles down at you and although it could be genuine, it feels condescending regardless.

"what do you mean what is that? are you serious?" patrick coughs.

you shrug, egging him on to just tell you.

"it's weed. jesus, you're sheltered."

your eyes widen and patrick kind of feels weird because it turns him on and he realizes you can't believe he just used the lord's name in vain. jesus christ.

"hey, don't say that." you watch his, as he takes another puff. sharp inhale, deep exhale. his chest is broad like his shoulders. he has a scattering of freckles and a smile that is almost endearing. he's obviously a year or so older than you, but his smile has the remnants of a boyish charm. mischievous.

"or what? i'll go to hell?" patrick leans forward and it's too close.

"can you at least aim away? i don't wanna smell like that stuff."

you're so proper. your brows are furrowed but you don't commit to your anger. patrick assumes you feel bad for being upset. like you're going to get in trouble with the man upstairs. so it's a soft anger. you'll do your due diligence in keeping things holy, but you won't yell and scream.

"then why did you come here?"

"because you were distracting me."

patrick laughs. "so i was distracting you and you wanted to distract yourself more by coming out here to let me know i was distracting you?"

"if that's how you wanna see it, then sure."

patrick swears you roll your eyes at him. it's cute, how sweet you are. he can smell the repression emanating from your pores.

"you probably already smell like it, by the way." patrick winks.

--

it's thursday, and your father knocks on your bedroom door.

"we're having guests over for dinner tonight. wear something nice." he smiles at you and you return one. you don't think much of it, until it's 7 and you're walking down the stairs and there he is. you don't even know his name.

he hands it to you as he grabs your hand to shake it.

"i'm patrick zweig." he says, beaming. you introduce yourself and you can't help but be a little cold. your mom looks at you, shaking her head. a warning.

the zweigs are very respectable, you realize. patrick's parents are successful and kind and charismatic. patrick's little sister is going to brown in the fall, and patrick himself is a nationally ranked tennis player. you congratulate him.

your father brings up how you've always wanted to learn how to play tennis and you shake your head.

"oh, i don't think i have enough time." you push your potatoes around with your fork.

"honey, it's summer. there's plenty of time." your mother says.

you feign a smile at patrick, who pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.

and then you feel his foot against your shin. the rubbery sole of his leather dress shoe as it pushes up your leg, moving your skirt. you kick him.

you excuse yourself. there's something in your throat you say.

when you come back, dessert is on the table. patrick eats the strawberry shortcake sinfully. he's making a show of licking his fork and complimenting your mother on her baking skills. you can tell she's eating it up.

there's whipped cream on his lip.

"there's whipped cream on your lip." you point.

he pretends not to be able. he acts stupid, until you lean over and wipe it off for him and he thanks you profusely, like a perfect gentleman.

--

your father gave patrick your phone number. for tennis lessons. he even said he would pay patrick fifty dollars an hour.

how does a lesson at 4 sound?

it's patrick btw

you groan. you really don't care about tennis at all.

i can't. plus, i'm not interested in tennis. sorry

but somehow, your father finds out you declined and now it's 4 pm and patrick is picking you up. he smokes a joint on the car ride to the courts.

"stop! you're going to get in trouble and you're going to get me in trouble!"

patrick blows smoke out the window.

"relax, why would you get in trouble? you're not driving."

he's so nonchalant. doesn't care about consequences or doing the right thing or being holy--he only cares about himself. it's so unattractive.

patrick thinks the opposite of you. loves how you give him a hard time. how you're a piece of work, a perfect angel, daddy's little girl. here you are, in his passenger seat in a little white skirt and a tight tank top. patrick tells himself that in a way, it's all for him. you excite him.

and you're really bad at tennis. he can tell it frustrates you, and patrick is deliberately making it hard. serving the ball harder than he should, smacking it out of bounds.

"come on, you got this! just gotta get to the ball faster!" patrick yells.

you groan and throw his racket down. "can you play fair? you're supposed to be teaching me!"

"god wouldn't like that you're taking the easy way out."

patrick is mocking you and you hate how he always brings god up like that. like it's a joke. you walk over to him.

"take me home." you demand.

"it's only been thirty minutes." he peers down at you, like you're his subject.

"i don't care take me home."

patrick moves closer to you. "can you get my racket?"

you jump over the net and bend over to pick it up and when you turn around patrick is ogling you. you smack his stomach with the racket.

"what the hell!" he holds his stomach but he's laughing at you and he makes you feel so small and stupid and you march to the car. he won't unlock it.

he just stands in front of you and watches you gnaw on your lip, listens to the tap, tap, tap of your sneakers on the pavement. he opens his mouth to sigh and you don't know what you're doing or why you're doing it. something just comes over you; a wave of sinful lust, or something akin to hatred--it all boils over and you pull him by the collar. kiss him hard. patrick pushes you against the side of his car. the black metal is hot against your back but you don't care. your tongue shyly pushes into patrick's mouth and he smirks against you as his lips part and he sucks you in like a serpent, licking into your mouth and seducing you. like some sort of devil. his hands roam and pry and he touches your waist and the curve of your ass, barely covered by the skirt that had ridden up during your short practice. you try to resist the urge to kiss him again but nothing can stop you and patrick just pulls you closer and closer and he tastes like weed which is even worse. you're guilty before it's even over. would it really be so bad not to confess?

patrick picks you up and opens the backseat. he pushes you inside and closes the door and you're still latched onto him. your innocent eyes beg him for more. he ruts his clothed cock against your pussy, your skirt flipped up to reveal the tiny shorts underneath. his lips ghost over yours and he resists your desperate pulls on his collar to get him to connect them to yours.

instead his hand glides down your body. slides between your tits and over your naval until he reaches your cunt. you're wet.

"what's this?" patrick asks you.

your breath is shaky.

"you're a bad, dirty girl. do you know that?" patrick grabs your jaw. you have to hold back a moan.

"no, i'm not." you shake your head.

"good girls listen to god." patrick lets the saliva build up in his mouth. it's easy when you look like that beneath him. when your voice trembles. "good girls don't listen to boys like me. and they certainly don't like this."

he lets a glob of spit drop from his mouth and you watch as it falls into your own.

your brain wants to hate it. you want to tell him he's disgusting and push him off of you. but you don't. you moan. and it's guttural and you pull his collar so hard you tear the seam as you kiss him again.

[writing-blog-iguess]

Online Matchup 6

Summery: Y/N gets texts from someone the last person they thought of. In doing so, learns a few things about their sister and who gave out their number.

Warning: swearing, fluff

Words: 3.4K

A/n: Feed back is always welcome, hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @xoxoyourdoll

ao3

Series master list

————

October 23

Y/n (6:30 am) I thought you said you weren’t going to give Conner my number?

Jason I did not

Y/N Then why is he yelling at me for dissing his writing It has been two weeks And he’s still upset about it It’s been three hours since he started texting me And he’s still not done Why is the sunshine boy up at three in the morning anyways? I haven’t answered yet

Jason What the fuck No I didn’t give him your number And he begged me for it Should have known something was up when he stopped asking

Y/N Who the fuck gave him my number?

Jason I don’t know

Y/N Whoever it is, they are dead.

Jason I’ll help But Conner isn’t that bad 

Y/N No But he hasn’t stopped being mad at me for what I said He won’t even let me get a word in

Jason He’ll stop, just wait

—

Y/n (7:30 am) Are you done?

Conner Nothing to say I see

Y/N It’s been a few years I’m not going to talk about that It’s stupid So why are you even talking about it?

Conner I’m offended

Y/N Then stop

Conner Why are you so mean?

Y/N Because we’re talking about something that happened in the past A past that I do not care for

Conner You were never this mean in high school What happened?

Y/N I moved away and became a different person Gotham has harden my soul Why do you care? We were never friends

Conner Yeah, but you’re my girlfriend’s sister I gotta at least try

Y/N … What?

Conner Ah shit She didn’t tell you?

Y/N W h a t 

Conner Pretend I didn’t say that

Y/N NO I CAN’T PRETEND WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M YOUR GIRLFRIENDS SISTER?

Conner Your sister is going to kill me

Y/N CONNER KENT

Conner Has anyone ever told you how scary you can be?

Y/N Yes now answer the question

Conner I mean That’s pretty straight forward

Y/N HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN DATING? AND AREN’T YOU LIKE ANCIENT

Conner I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I’M A FEW MONTHS OLDER THAN HER AND WE’RE BOTH LIKE TWO YEARS YOUNGER THEN YOU And like, almost a year

Y/N WHY DIDN’T SHE TELL ME?

Conner Something to do with her waiting for the right time

Y/N I’m offended

Conner Gonna have to take it up with her

Y/N I can’t, she’s in school Shouldn’t you be in class?

Conner Sick

Y/N That’s bullshit You don’t get sick

Conner I don’t have to explain myself to you You’re not my keeper

Y/N Nah, that’s my sister apparently 

Conner Not gonna let that go, are you?

Y/N Nope

Conner Shouldn't you be in class?

Y/N Not until three

Conner Be annoying somewhere else

Y/N Funny, I was just about to say the same thing to you How’d you get my number anyways?

Conner Oh would you look at that! I gotta go

Y/N Bitch

—

Y/N (8:10 am) HE’S DATING MY SISTER?

Jason You didn’t know?

Y/N NO YOU KNEW?

Jason I feel like this is a trap

Y/N It’s not, and I’m not mad if you did How long did you know?

Jason Um, couple of months I think They’ve been dating longer though

Y/N Almost a year apparently I’m so mad And I can’t even call her because she’s in school Son of a bitch

Jason Let me know how that conversation goes

—

Y/N (11:02 am) Cannot believe you’re dating Conner Kent

Ellie How the fuck do you know that?

Y/N I’m offended

Ellie Hey, you didn’t tell me you were talking to Jason

Y/N That’s different Whatever I have going on with Jason is new And I didn’t want to jinx it You’re dating Conner for close to a year I think that warrants telling your sister

Ellie It never came up?

Y/N Bull. Shit

Ellie You never liked Conner, I was afraid you wouldn’t approve

Y/N I have never said I disliked Conner I may have said he’s annoying sometimes and he’s too bright Hence why I call him sunshine boy

Ellie Do you approve though?

Y/N Does he make you happy?

Ellie Yes

Y/N Then I approve How’d that happen anyways?

Ellie Newspaper

Y/N I still can’t believe you joined the school paper

Ellie I love writing You did it

Y/N That’s because Kate made me I wasn’t there by choice

Ellie Right So, how’d you know?

Y/N Your boyfriend let it slip

Ellie What?

Y/N Which reminds me, did you give him my number

Ellie You know I’d never do that

Y/N Someone did, and he’s not telling me

Ellie Hold on a sec I’ll find out for you

Y/N Someone’s going to die I just don’t know who 

Ellie (12:15 pm) Try not to kill Conner, I really like him Also, some guy named Tim I think that’s his friend or something

Y/N That son of a bitch

Ellie Do you know him?

Y/N Not personally, but yeah

Ellie Have mercy on his soul

Y/N Don’t you know him?

Ellie Why would I know Tim?

Y/N Isn’t Conner friends with the Waynes?

Ellie I think so…?

Y/N Eleanor You have been dating Sunshine Boy for almost a year And you don’t know?

Ellie Don’t call me that It makes me feel like I’m in trouble

Y/N Eleanor Stop deflecting

Ellie Okay, yes he’s friends with the Waynes I just never personally met them yet They kind of scare me

Y/N I’m ashamed to call you my sister

Ellie EXCUSE ME HAVE YOU SEEN THEM?

Y/N YES I’m talking to one of them, remember?

Ellie JASON’S A WAYNE?

Y/N Did I not mention that?

Ellie NO YOU BURIED THE LEAD ON THAT ONE

Y/N Oopsie

Ellie DON’T OOPSIE ME Y/N

Y/N Welp, gotta go

Ellie BITCH GET BACK HERE WE’RE NOT DONE Y/N

—

Y/N (12:20 pm) Your brother is dead to me

Jason I have like four You need to be more specific 

Y/N Tim

Jason Ah, yeah okay that tracks

Y/N Tell him to count his days I’m coming for him

Jason All this over a phone number

Y/N He doesn’t even know me Why would he do this?

Jason I don’t know I personally think he likes the drama

Y/N I hope he knows the consequences

Jason He’ll find out once he meets you Conner finally confessed?

Y/N Not to me

Jason Had a conversation with your sister I take it

Y/N Apparently, I had this ‘I don’t like him’ vibe going on And that’s why she didn’t want to tell me Which fair, I didn’t like anyone in high school much But Conner was okay

Jason And now they’re dating

Y/N Which I find bizarre but if she’s happy then it’s whatever

Jason Did you threaten Conner if he ever broke her heart

Y/N … No Excuse me please

Jason I am so glad he’s not my friend

–

Y/N You break Ellie’s heart I’m coming for you

Conner I would like to see you try

Y/N I will try And I will win

Conner Don’t know how, you know jack shit about me

Y/N I’ll ask Ellie once her broken heart is mended And then I will be coming for you

Conner Well, that won’t happen I don’t plan to hurt her

Y/N I hope so Cuz you’ll be dealing with me And I can be your worst nightmare

Conner Don’t you have a boyfriend to kiss?

Y/N Don’t you have girlfriend to kiss?

Conner I do and I’m about to go see her

Y/NNo Nope I don’t want to hear about your relationship Especially not you

ConnerAwe come Y/N Afraid of a little pda?

Y/NThat’s my sister you’re talking about Be careful Oh, before I forget Pass a message to Tim for me? Tell him he better watch his back

Conner SHE RATTED ME OUT

Y/N Sir, she is my sister She is my best friend And we’ll tell each other things you wish you could hear

--

Y/N I think I scared him

Jason He probably deserved it

Y/N Hey, what do you mean Conner’s not really your friend? Didn’t you hang out last weekend?

Jason Conners more Tim’s friend then he is mine And yes but only because I was doing something for Tim

Y/N He couldn’t have done it?

Jason Probably But I was coming out there anyways so I volunteered

Y/N You know what I think?

Jason No and I don’t think I want to know But you’re going to tell me anyway

Y/N Even though you claim you don’t like your family very much I think you secretly like your family You just hide it well Jason? Oh no I said something you didn’t like I’m sorry

--

Jason (4:20 pm) It’s okay So Wanna do something tonight?

Y/N: Ah, he speaks

Jason Okay, yeah that was kind of deserved I’m sorry for just disappearing on you earlier

Y/N It’s okay There will probably be times where I will do the same thing I just need some patience from you And I’ll be patient with you

Jason At least your honest

Y/N I just really don’t want to fuck this up

Jason I second that So, do you want to?

Y/N Do I want to what?

Jason Seriously? I asked like two seconds ago

Y/N Okay, but in my defense I am ~distracted~

Jason With another boy? How could you

Y/N Okay, first of all fuck you And second of all I’m trying to find the books I need

Jason Only if you’re going to help

Y/N I have some regrets right now

Jason Did you forget your library card again?

Y/N No, this time I actually remembered

Jason I’m proud of you for that

Y/N Mm, can’t tell if your being sarcastic or not

Jason 100% serious

Y/N Well damn Now I’m flustered

Jason Oh? Information to store away

Y/N I feel like I made a mistake

Jason Only time will tell

Y/N So, what was the question again?

Jason Scroll up?

Y/N Respectfully, no

Jason Lol okay Would you like to do something tonight?

Y/N Really trying to get to the fifth date I see

Jason Nah, I can wait for that I just wanted to hang out

Y/N Your brothers don’t need help tonight?

Jason Surprisingly no, they don’t. Are you trying to get out of hanging out with me?

Y/N Uh, no I’ve got a project I’m working on I don’t want to bore you

Jason Nonsense I can bring something to read It’d be nice to sit around and relax

Y/N If you're sure

Jason I’m sure I’ll bring food

Y/N You know where I live

Jason All I had to do is say food and you're in? Very easy to please huh?

Y/N I wouldn’t say that But yes, I’m very easy to persuade when foods involved

Jason Any food allergies?

Y/N Not that I’m aware of

Jason Alright I’ll text you when I’m on my way

Y/N Okay But don’t get to offended if I don’t respond There will be a chance I’ll turn off my phone once I get home I don’t want to get distracted Especially if Conner wants to yell at me some more

Jason Thanks for the warning

–

True to your word, you hadn’t answered when Jason messaged you. But he wasn’t too worried, earlier while he was busy at home, you had sent a message saying you got home fine and that you’ll be shutting off your phone soon. 

Jason had been too busy to answer, but his heart swelled at the care you seemed to have for him. That you knew he’d worry about you without having to say something. Sure, his family cared about him but there was something different when you cared.

He shot a text back saying he’d be coming soon before going about cleaning his guns.

An hour later, he was finished and left his apartment with food on his mind.

The sound of knocking at your door broke your concentration. You blinked back to awareness just as another round of knocks sounded. 

“Come in!” you called, leaning back from the coffee table to stretch. You let out a noise of satisfaction when your bones cracked.

“You should have your doors locked when you're home alone,” Jason called, closing the door behind him. “You never know what creep might come in.”

“Yeah, but I knew you were coming and I tend to hyper focus on my work,” you answered, turning around to watch Jason walk into the living room, carrying a couple of boxes of pizza. “Saves me the trip of opening the door.”

“There was a chance that it wasn’t me behind the door,” he said, setting the boxes down after you made some room for them.

“No, but I don’t have people come over.”

“What about your friends?”

“They have a key, and come unannounced. Aside from my neighbours, you're the only one who knocks.”

“Still, gotta be more cautious,” Jason warned, grunting as he sat on the floor beside you. “Hungry?”

“Starved.”

The two of you settled into a comfortable silence as you ate, only making idle conversation. The conversations ranged from what your favourite things are to embarrassed stories growing up, to darkest secrets.

Jason had kept his lips sealed with his secrets, but you weren’t mad about it. They were his, and his alone. If he didn’t want to share, he didn’t have to. And you made sure he knew you understood.

When there were only a few slices of pizza, and your stomach was full did you turn back to your homework. Reluctantly, you rather talk to Jason then do homework. But it wasn’t going to finish by itself and you needed the grade.

“Do you always work in silence?” Jason asked as he stood to stretch.

“Usually I have music playing, but the neighbours kept complaining about the noise level. And I don’t like blasting music in my ears,” you answered, and gestured towards your collection of CDs. “Help yourself if you find anything you like.”

Jason wandered over and whistled. “That’s quite the collection.”

“What can I say? Started it when I was, I don’t know, ten? And just kept collecting,” you said absentmindedly, “same goes with my books.”

“Let’s see what we have here,” Jason mumbled as he looked through them. “Classical, pop, rock, metal, jazz? Man you have a little bit of everything huh?”

“Yup.”

“Oh ho ho, what’s this?” Jason sang, catching your attention. You looked up just in time to watch Jason pull out a familiar CD. “A mixed CD? I didn’t know you were the type.”

You jumped up and tripped over the couch when you launched yourself over it. Picking yourself up from the floor, you ran and jumped onto Jason’s back, reaching for the CD he held above his head.

“Holy shit,” he grunted at the impact, stumbling forward, trying to regain his balance. “You’re a lot heavier than you look.”

“That is not something you tell a person,” you muttered, making a noise as you tried to reach for the CD. “Give it back.”

“What’s on there? Porn?”

“No,” you said, flustered, “why would I do that?”

“No you're right, you’re not that type of person,” he mused, moving the CD further from you. He glanced up and laughed. “I didn’t know you were such a hopeless romantic.”

“Shut up,” you squealed and shouted in victory when you succeeded in grabbing the CD from him. “Ha!” you said and jumped off him, you left the room to hide the mixed tape elsewhere.

“You know, there isn’t a hiding place here that I couldn’t find,” Jason said dryly when you walked into the living room.

“That I have no doubt,” you replied, sitting back on the floor. “But that cd is not one I would like to listen to right now.”

“Is it embarrassing?”

“Yes. I rather not cringe at all the memories those songs will bring.”

“That’s a juicy story I can tell,”he said, turning back to back your collection. 

“Only if you tell me your death story,” you shot back. When Jason said nothing, you nodded. “I thought so.”

“Okay, so we both have stories we don't want to talk about,” he confessed, “doesn’t mean they’re great.”

“Agree to disagree.”

Silence settled between the two of you as you continued with your paper and Jason kept looking through your CDs. A few minutes later, the room was filled with Tchaikovsky.

“Never thought you’d be a Nutcracker fan,” you commented as the first song started.

“Sometimes you just want to listen to the classics,” he said, moving towards your bookshelf. “Do you mind?”

You looked up to see him gesturing towards your books. You shook your head and went back to your paper. “I thought you were gonna bring a book.”

“I forgot it at home.”

“Too excited to come see me?” you teased.

“No, I had food on my mind,” he teased back and laughed at the look you gave him. “And you, I was also thinking about you too.”

You hummed, watching as he finally picked a book and made his way to the couch. He plopped down, he moved around a bit until he was comfortable before opening the book. You tilted your head trying to read the title and smiled.

“You’re full of surprises, Jason,” you said before turning back towards the coffee table again. 

“So are you,” he shot back, and that was the end of the conversation. For a while, the only sounds were the music, the occasional page flipping and a pencil scratching against paper.

There was a peace that settled with the two of you as you did your own things. A peace that both of you haven’t felt in awhile, so much that you kind of forgot the presence of the other person.

You stayed on the floor most of the time, only getting up to use the bathroom and to switch out the CDs once they finished. A couple of hours later, your homework was finally done, you sat back and stretched.

“Hey, I just remembered I have som-” you cut yourself short when you looked up to see Jason fast alseep on the couch. You weren’t sure at what point he had fallen asleep, but it looked like he needed it.

So, instead of waking him up, you let him sleep. Standing up, you reached down to grab the Jane Austen book he was in the middle of reading. You made sure to bookmark it in case he wanted to finish it the next time he was over.

Setting it on the coffee table, you made your way over to turn down the music until it was just softly playing before grabbing a blanket to cover Jason with.

“Rest well,” you whispered as you tucked in him slightly. “I think you need it.”

You turned back to your bookshelf and grabbed a book for yourself before going to sit back on the floor where you were doing your homework and started reading.

Jason woke up to his phone vibrating against his leg. He blinked, confused about where he was. The ceiling he was looking at didn’t look like his, and the last thing he remembered was reading on the couch. At your house.

“Oh shit,” he mumbled, as the puzzle pieces fell together. “I fell asleep.”

“Turn it off,” came a mumble from beside him. He turned his head to find you leaning against the couch, head tilting up fast asleep. “Five more minutes, Mom. I’m tired.”

Smiling, he grabbed his phone from his pocket and glared at the name that flashed across his screen. “What do you want, Tim?”

 “Where are you?” Tim asked instead of answering. “You were supposed to be here like, two hours ago.”

“I told you I wasn’t going out tonight. Bruce knows this, so does Dick and they said they were okay with it.”

“Yeah, but you promised.”

“You and I both know, I didn’t promise shit,” he whispered, “whatever it is, you’ll have to deal without me.”

“Its not the same,” Tim whined. “And why are we whispering?”

“None of your business.”

“You’re with Y/N aren’t you?” Tim asked, and Jason could tell he was smiling.

“You know, I hope that whatever Y/N does to you, you’ll suffer,” Jason snapped and tried to keep his laugh in at the “hey!” Tim yelled.

“What did I ever do to them? We haven’t even met!”

“Enough that they’re out for blood,” Jason said, not wanting to elaborate. “I have to go.” He hung up before Tim could question him further, and stuffed his phone back in his pocket. Turning his head to look at you again, he thought about what to do next.

Sleeping on the floor like that couldn’t be comfortable and he knew should wake up and leave, but it was late and he wanted to let you sleep. Instead, he slowly got off the couch without waking you. He went to the bathroom before going around the apartment to lock the windows and doors, and turned off the lights that were on.

He made his way back to the living room, and gently picked you up before setting you back down on the couch. He tucked you in with the blanket you had given him.

Satisfied that you were safe in your own apartment, he turned to leave. But before he could, something grabbed his arm, stopping him. He stalled and turned around slowly, and raised an eyebrow when he noticed you staring at him.

“It’s late, Jason,” you mumbled, “I’m not going to let you go home this late.”

“How are you going to stop me?” Jason challenged. Instead of answering, you tugged his arm hard enough to make him stumble towards you. He braced himself against the back of the couch, preventing him from falling completely onto you. “You’re very bold when your half asleep,” he joked. You stuck your tongue out at him and tugged on his arm again.

“Shut up and lay down,” you mumbled, trying to get up from the couch. Jason moved to sit down beside you. “I’m too tired to move to my bed. So, you can take my bed or share the couch.”

He watched as you curled up on the one side of the couch and moved the blanket so he could have some too. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” you mumbled, eyes already closing. “I don’t make the people I care about leave in the middle of the night. You never know what could happen on the way home.”

Touched, and not wanting to make you worry, Jason took the corner of the blanket you weren’t using and settled down on the couch. He didn’t fall asleep right away. Opting instead to read more of his book. Within minutes of reading, however, sleep claimed him.

[jefferkyleson]

As a Jew who has recently been undergoing an identity crisis about my Judaism due to my father's passing and the conflict in Israel and Palestine, I just want to say, try to assume good in people.

First of all, genocide is horrible and what the Israeli government is doing is reprehensible. I will not indulge in a both sides argument. The numbers of civilians deaths speak for themselves.

Real quick, let me tell you a story. My father was Jewish. He grew up in a rural town in America. You can imagine how that went. Day after day he was belittled and beaten. He was mostly known as "Jew" and would often be called that followed by a swift punch to the gut.

As he got older, things didn't get much better. In High School, he and his friend were in the same class. He got a B, she got an A. They both knew each other well and knew he got better scores, so they went to the teacher for clarification. The teacher had a simple response. "You're the Jewish kid, right?" he said. My dad responded, "Yeah?" "That's all I need," he said. If he wasn't Jewish, he probably would've had straight A's.

Throughout his career, again, little changed. Dog whistles and insults and fear were thrown around wherever he went. And after he had me, that fear only grew. Of course it did. You would do anything to protect your child and you fear whatever the world may do to hurt them.

Now, only 8 years ago, he had to watch a man become president who was being openly supported by nazis. He had to watch people march in the street and chant "Jews will not replace us!" He had to watch as some of the last holocaust survivors started to die out and he had to watch as the neo-nazis grew louder and bolder.

To drive my point home, I've only ever seen this man cry once. It was when he watched Schindler's List with me in the room.

So when my father spoke about supporting Israel, I was confused. "How could he stand for genocide?" "How could he support colonialism?" "Is everything he taught me about the middle east a lie?"

But I knew my father well.

He did not support genocide. He has always stood for equality and peace. He did not support colonialism. At home, he has helped support native populations in every way his job allowed. He knew a lot about the middle east. He had a PhD and had bookshelves of history books.

I think deep down, Judaism can often be tied to fear. When you look at Jewish history, it's hard to notice anything but enslavement and genocide. When you live a Jewish life, it's hard to notice anything but fear and hate.

All he wanted was for Jews everywhere to be safe. All he wanted was for me to be safe. All he wanted was to be safe. So when he stood with Israel, he still did not support the genocide. But he grew up in fear and hoped that Israel could one day become a peaceful place where Jews could be safe.

Did I agree with him on everything? No. He would always jokingly call me a Commie. We did not agree on the situation on Israel. But I knew him. I understood where he was coming from. I understood what he meant and what he was truly fighting for. He wanted a world where everyone could be safe. He personally felt that Jews could be safe in Israel and lived a life that made him feel like we couldn't be safe anywhere else. He also felt that Israel's actions were wrong and that Israel needed to undergo a lot of changes so that the middle east could be safe for everyone. He did not support genocide, he did not support Israel's current actions, but he still supported Israel. And you know what, maybe with more time, he would've condemned Israel entirely, but when he passed, he still supported Israel, and the least I can do is understand where he was coming from.

This has gotten pretty long-winded, but what I'm trying to say is, look at who people truly are. When my dad grew up, "Zionist" was often code for "Jew" and "From the River to the Sea" may as well have been saying "Jews will not replace us." But when I see the people calling for an end to genocide, I believe that is what they are fighting for. When I see Jewish organizations, politicians, teachers, rabbis, and kids on splatoon saying "From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free," I truly believe they are against genocide and are advocating for freedom, equality, and peace. And when I see celebrities and Jewish organizations and my dad supporting Israel, I truly believe they are against genocide and are advocating for freedom, equality, and peace. And when I think of the millions of people in the middle east, I know the vast majority of them just want to live lives of freedom, equality, and peace.

Now don't get me wrong. Again, I'm not trying to make a both sides argument. I personally believe that what Israel is doing is wrong and the bloodshed needs to stop immediately.

I also know that there is going to be the occasional douchebag who hides behind rhetoric in order to be hateful. I also know this situation is extremely complicated with history and experiences going back for thousands of years. I also know people have things they need to learn and things they need to unlearn and that process might take more than a week.

But before we go firing and censuring and yelling at other people, all I ask is, look at who they really are, what they are really trying to say, where they are coming from, be patient and understanding with them, and try to assume they are coming from a place of good before you assume they are coming from a place of hate.

[moondal514]

📓👀

(Aftg?)

Hiii!

So this is an idea I had for a soft-ish high school au where the Foxes are all still traumatized, but have been adopted into stable homelife situations and are finally in a position where they can start to heal.

The families are as follows:

Wymack adopts Dan, Seth, and Nicky.

Abby adopts Kevin.

Betsy adopts Andrew.

Randy gains sole custody of Matt and adopts Aaron.

Stephanie adopts Renee.

Allison lives with her grandpa.

And Neil lives with Stuart.

Wymack adopts Seth 1st when Seth’s mom dies. Seth is ~11 (his dad has already walked out by then) when he is adopted. Unfortunately the rest of Seth’s siblings get divided up by the foster system but Wymack is able to help Seth track them down and arrange visits them when Seth wants to.

Wymack adopts Dan next when Dan is thrown into the foster system instead of the care of her aunt cuz her aunt refuses to take custody of her. Dan is ~9 when this happens.

Nicky comes last, when he gets taken away from Luther by CPS for sending Nicky to conversion camp at 13. He is put into and adopted by Wymack.

Abby adopts Kevin after Kayleigh dies cuz as much as Wymack would love to adopt Kevin, at this point he already has 3 kids and can’t really take anymore. Abby volunteers and since Wymack and Abby are moreorless married, for Kevin it’s basically just like as if he’s living with Wymack.

Instead of the Spears, luck of the draw the foster system puts Andrew with Betsy and it’s all pretty straight forward from there.

When Matt is 8, his dad dies, so Randy gets custody of Matt by default. Some years later, Matt wants a younger brother and Randy wants to foster. Luck of the draw and they adopt Aaron. Tilda dies when Aaron is ~9. Luther and Maria are deemed unfit for children (hence Nicky being taken away and ending up with Wymack) so he gets put into the system. Randy adopts him.

Stephanie and Renee is basically the same as canon except Renee is aged down a bit.

When Allison is ~13 and developing her eating disorder, her grandpa takes her out of her parents custody and helps her out.

Neil is living with Stuart because Stuart decides to make his move against Nathan super early, when Neil was about to be given to the Moriyamas. He kills Nathan, but Mary dies in the process. Stuart takes custody of Neil as a result.

Everyone is in the same city and goes to the same high school.

That was a very long set-up explanation lol. The main story would be just general high school shenanigans. Here are some snippets:

Dan crosses her arms. “What do you want then.”

The boy, Matthew Boyd she thinks his name is, holds up a flower, cheeks red. “I—I wanted to give this to you.”

-

Andrew definitely doesn’t have strong feelings about Neil Josten’s lips. Not at all. Because Andrew hates Neil Josten.

-

Andrew pokes Aaron’s cheek. “Stop making my face look weird.”

Aaron scoffs. “Stop being a little bitch then.”

“We are the exact same height.”

-

“I’m not talking to you unless you take off your shirt or something.”

Kevin shrugs, easily pulling his shirt over his head, abs flexing attractively. Andrew glares at his physically toned perfection. Absolutely disgusting.

“Now will you talk to me?” Kevin puts his hands on his hips like a disapproving mother. It’s awfully reminiscent of Wymack and shirtless Wymack is absolutely not an image Andrew wants in his head.

“No,” Andrew says. “Put your shirt back on. No one wants to see that.”

“You literally just said—“

“Andrew!” Bee calls from the house. Kevin scrambles to put his shirt back on just as Bee steps out onto the porch.

Send me a “📓” emoji and I’ll tell you about a fic idea I have that I’ll never write

[steviesbicrisis]

They meet at the age of 8 and 6 years old, way before they'll be known as the Freak and the King. Steve is playing with his favorite toys in the playground when two older boys start tormenting him. Eddie steps in and scares them away. After that, Steve becomes Eddie's shadow, following him everywhere and copying everything he does.

They grow up having different interests because of their dads: Steve gets into sports to please his dad, Eddie gets into metal and D&D to piss his dad off. Despite the differences, they remain the best of friends.

Eddie comes out to Steve at the age of 15. Surprisingly, Steve is extremely supportive and happy about it, Eddie feels very lucky.

They're 16 and 14 years old when Steve gets to high school. In time record, he joins the basketball team and hangs out with the popular kids, but talking to Eddie in between periods doesn't do any good to his reputation.

«You have to stop talking to me at school, I don't want people to mess with you just because we are friends,» Eddie tells him one day after school. Steve is outraged and tries to protest but Eddie stops him «it's not a big deal, we'll still hang out after school! You know it's my job to protect you, you're like my little brother.»

Steve doesn't fight it anymore after that, but he looks crushed. For a week, they barely talk even outside of school and Eddie is terrified he did something wrong. But then, Steve asks him to hang out and things go back to normal.

Their first big fight isn't until two years later, a few days before Eddie's 18th birthday. Steve is one of the most popular guys in school, he acts like a douche and has rows of girls drooling over him. Eddie isn't a big fan of this change but, as long as he doesn't act the same around him, he doesn't mind.

Eddie is giddy because Rick has given him a fake ID as an early present and he can go to a gay club he had been talking about to Steve and get wasted for his birthday.

Steve, however, doesn't look happy at all «you're going to a gay club?»

Eddie mistakes it for disgust and accuses him «do you have a problem with me going to a gay club?»

A fight ensures. Steve is outraged Eddie would even suggest that, Eddie calls him out for his behavior at school. Steve leaves Eddie’s house and they don’t speak to each other for a week.

Eddie goes to the gay club but he doesn’t enjoy it, always imagining how it could’ve been if Steve was there with him. He goes straight to Steve's house after and they make up, both apologizing for what they said.

Steve gets his first official girlfriend at 17. Nancy wheeler is a nice girl, she's smart and pretty, she has done nothing but make Steve happy, but Eddie hates her. He doesn't even know why, he feels like a terrible friend, but every time he sees Steve hugging her, twirling her around, kissing her, he has to look away and swallow a painful sensation in his chest.

When they break up, he feels bad about how relieved he is, especially since Steve looks devastated.

«It's okay, I was a terrible boyfriend, got with her for all the wrong reasons» Steve smiles at him sadly, and Eddie doesn't understand.

The break-up brings major changes in Steve's life: he drops all of his asshole friends, he surprisingly keeps in touch with Nancy and becomes best buddies with Robin Buckley from band.

The major change, although, has to be in Steve's behavior towards Eddie: being the youngest, he had always been the one to follow, but now he tries to take the lead, puts a lot of effort into planning their hangouts, pays even more attention than usual to what Eddie wants, and Eddie can't help but compare it with the way he had seen him act around Wheeler (he scratches the thought immediately, calling himself weird for even making the comparison).

It's almost Steve's 18th birthday when their friendship faces another critical point.

They're talking about Steve's birthday party when the topic of dates comes up, with Eddie asking if Robin will be Steve's date.

«How come you never talk about your dating life?» Steve seems nervous as he asks the question. Eddie laughs, because dating isn't an easy thing when you're gay and you live in Hawkins, but Steve insists on the topic, pressing on knowing if Eddie has had some crushes at least.

«I mean, there are guys who I find attractive? sure. But crushes? nah man, never had one of those» Eddie realizes at that point how odd that is, being almost twenty and not being interested in anyone like that.

Then he looks at Steve and for a split second, he sees it: the same crushed expression Steve had when he called him little brother and told him not to talk to him at school, or when they fought about Eddie's birthday, or when he had talked about his break up.

Eddie feels like he's done something terribly wrong but can't pinpoint what that is.

This time, there is no fight between them but, for the next few weeks, Steve avoids him. Eddie notices a pattern in their friendship: he says something he doesn’t know it’s wrong, Steve is crushed and takes a few days of break from him, then acts like nothing happened.

Eddie hates it.

It's the Friday before Steve's birthday that Robin Buckley comes marching in his Hellfire session. She drags him out of his trailer and gives him a piece of her mind.

«Steve went to a gay club tonight. I wouldn't tell you this, but he basically wants to hook up with the first guy he sees and that is super dangerous and I'm worried about him! plus, this is all your fault.»

Eddie can only utter a "what??" before Robin floods him with a stream of words "you rejected him twice", "he just wants to get over you", "like he hadn't tried already with Wheeler" and "you owe him that".

The whole ride to the club, Eddie's mind is full of Steve: Steve who looks excited when he comes out, Steve who's sad about being called "little brother", Steve saying "I got with her for the wrong reasons", Steve constantly making plans for their hangouts -or dates, maybe?-, Steve, Steve, Steve...

Finally, everything in Eddie's mind makes sense, his desire to protect Steve, his hatred for Wheeler, him thinking he never had a crush when he actually had one, for several years now.

He finds Steve outside of the club, leaning against the wall, a guy way too close to his personal space. Eddie's ready to pull him away when Steve shoves the guy and tells him to piss off. That's when he notices Eddie.

«What are you doing here?» he glances briefly at the door, looking distressed «are you here for-»

Eddie doesn't let him finish «I came here for you. Robin told me... well, she told me a lot of things.»

Steve makes a strangled noise and runs his hand through his hair, nervously «Fucking Buckley- shit... fuck» he's avoiding looking at Eddie.

Steve looks ready to run inside, so Eddie grabs him by his elbow «Can we talk?»

«No.»

«Steve-»

Steve frees himself from his grip «I said no, Eddie! I don't wanna listen to you rejecting me basically for the third time I'm my life! I get it, I'm like your little brother, you must think it's so pathetic that I've been going after you all this time but trust me it's embarrassing enou-» he can't keep talking because Eddie is kissing him.

Steve melts into the kiss but then he comes to his senses and gently pushes Eddie back. He needs answers.

Eddie doesn't give him the time to ask anything «I hated Nancy Wheeler.»

«What? what's wrong with Nancy?»

«Nothing's wrong with Nancy. That's why I was so confused, but I hated watching you two being together and I didn't know why! Steve, I've been so stupid and I'm sorry but there's a reason why I want to protect you and look after you, why I hated Nancy and every other girl who you had a date with, and why I thought I never had a crush on anyone before. It's because... I've been in love with you for so long I didn't even notice.»

Finally, Steve is looking straight at him, eyes watery «Is this some sick joke?»

Eddie takes his face between his hands, tenderly «I promise you it's not. I'm sorry, and I love you. I'll tell you a thousand times more, until you believe me, until I make it up to you.»

«Oh, it will take more than a thousand fucking times» Steve is grinning as he says it.

Eddie doesn't recall seeing Steve smile like that before and fuck, I love him so much.

It takes some time, Steve has trouble believing him, but Eddie doesn't blame him. Steve waited five years for him to sort his shit out, Eddie can wait a bit more.

[excelsi-or]

summoned (pt. 9)

pairing: woozi x fem!reader/fem!OC

w.c. 2.6k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8

After some maneuvering, they make it back to the car. The hand that had been enveloped in his goes straight for one of the cool cans in the bag. She sighs in relief.

"Have you told Seokmin?"

"Not yet. Surprisingly, I need free hands to text or call." She goes to Jihoon's car screen and taps around. "Doesn't this thing do calling?"

"What?"

"You have a GPS and a touch screen in your car. There must be a way to call people."

Jihoon scoffs. "I don't know. The fancy gadgets don't interest me."

"Demons are surprisingly useless." She says it with a laugh, so it soothes some of Jihoon's annoyance. Giving up on figuring out his car, she pulls her phone out of her pocket and calls Seokmin, putting him on speaker.

"Isn't he at work?"

"You expected me to tell him when my hands were full, and now, you're concerned that he's busy?" It's the first time Jihoon's heard actual irritation in the human's voice. "Seokmin owns the company anyway."

"We dropped him off at a law firm."

She shrugs. "Perks of being the oldest, I guess." She holds the phone up between them as it rings.

"Not in human years, he's not."

"He bought the company a few years after we graduated high school." She waves him to be quiet when the phone connects. "Seokminnie."

"You need something. What is it?"

She chuckles. "The demon needs you to come on an escapade with us later this evening."

Jihoon shakes his head. "Tomorrow. We're not going to be back in time for it to all seem normal."

An idea pops into her head. "You know who we can send? Hansol. One sec, Seokminnie." She adds Hansol to the call. The boy's voice sounds distracted when he answers. "Hey, Sollie. Just five minutes."

Hansol takes a deep breath, as if he's just come up for air. "You're on a timer. What do you need?"

"I need you to go to Mrs. Han's convenience store with Seokmin today."

Hansol hesitates. "Why...?"

"I'm not trying to set you up with Ara, relax. Jihoon and I need you to get into Mrs. Han's back room."

"What?"

She catches him up. And luckily, her best friend takes all the confusing news in stride. He'll pepper her with questions later, but for now, Hansol manages to contain all of his curiosity.

"So, we need you to get into her back office and see what exactly is going on in there. I know you can't see what I can see or what Jihoon and Seokmin can see, but we know that Mrs. Han will only step away to talk with an angel. That angel is going to have to be Seokmin."

"It's most likely bodies back there, Hansol," Jihoon says. "But if you can also figure out why this angel would have those bodies, hey, that'd be great."

Hansol clears his throat, and they all hear the alarm go off on his end. Seokmin jumps in here. "We'll deal with it. Sol, I'll pick you up after I'm done at work and we'll head over there. We can even stop into the flower shop for a bit."

She smiles at Hansol's awkward sputtering. "Stay safe, you two."

That sobers Hansol up. "You too, noona."

Jihoon waits for the phone to be put away before he starts to speak. "That's only the first location."

"I know. But why did the demons choose these specific spots?" She leans back in her seat, watching the city go by. "Why the convenience store? The abandoned building makes sense, because it's unlikely that humans will stumble upon it. But people walk into Mrs. Han's convenience store all day. Why there?"

"Say your mother's hospital isn't the only place they're collecting bodies."

"Don't you need to have a susceptible host to possess?"

"We're not parasites," Jihoon argues. "I could possess you right now if I wanted."

She shakes her head. "No, because I have a strong will. You guys choose humans who are weak-willed or vulnerable."

Jihoon's eyes narrow, taking his gaze off the road for a moment.

She uses the bottom of the cola can to turn his face back to the road. "Mom made sure that I knew that none of the demons who entered our home would hurt me. And that if any of them tried anything on me, that a strong will to live was a sufficient deterrent for a demon." She motions towards Jihoon. "Clearly didn't work on you, but it's worked on every other demon I've met."

Jihoon scowls. Even if he wanted this human's soul, there is no reasonable way to get it. However, it's really difficult to tell if she even has a soul. Which has been the most unsettling part about this human among all the things that unsettle him. He's wondered a few times since meeting her parents whether the ambiguity comes from the angel and demon blood in her veins. 

"What I don't understand," Jihoon says, bringing them back to the task at hand, "is why an angel would be involved. In the off-chance event that that woman befriended a demon, why would she get involved? Your parents keep their angel and demon jobs separate."

"You and Seokmin don't." She gauges his expression and changes the subject. "We're just coming up with more questions and no solutions."

They settle into their thoughts. He can tell she's falling asleep next to him again. He digs around the center console for any CDs to pass the time (while also manipulating time and space a bit to ease the car a bit faster). 

"Here," she mumbles. Drowsily, she sits up again and plays around with the touch screen.

Jihoon watches out of the corner of his eye. "What are you doing?"

"Connecting my phone to your car." A ding sounds through the car. Now, that they don't need to call anyone, the car is completely compliant. "It's paired. So," she settles back and closes her eyes again, "just ask Siri to play music."

"Who's Siri?"

"The woman in my phone."

"The who?"

"Mom trapped a woman in my phone to do things for me."

Jihoon gapes at her, but the human has her face turned away from him and is curled up ready to sleep. "And she does them willingly?"

She hums. "She's never disobeyed me before. Only issue is if she's been sleeping a while, so the connection is bad or she just doesn't understand what I'm saying."

Jihoon's brow furrows.

"Try it. Ask her to play something." When he doesn't, she looks over at him. The expression on Jihoon's face elicits a chuckle. "When was the last time you were on Earth?"

"Just before the millennium."

She smirks before curling back onto her side. "Hey, Siri, play 90s music."

They arrive at the hospital in record time. When she wakes and sees the time, she pats her body to make sure she's still in one piece. Jihoon's grumbling under his breath to her overreaction is just a cherry on top.

"What floor does your mom work on?" Jihoon asks as they head towards the main entrance.

"Don't know the floor, but I know she works in the ICU."

Putting the ex-right hand in the ICU to source bodies for whatever the cause is, is almost too genius. Jihoon trails after the human, taking in all the people hanging around the lobby. It's teeming with people, wheelchairs, students, volunteers, nurses, and doctors. Many of them are headed to the coffee shop; others are sat in the lobby chairs.

She bypasses the volunteers at the reception desk and heads straight for the elevators.

"Do you know where you're going?" Jihoon asks.

She points to the sign that tells them the floor of the ICU before pressing the call button for the elevator. "We're going to have to look through the hospital records."

"Okay. You have a plan?"

"You're the plan."

"I'm the what?"

Luckily, the elevator is empty. "Mom sent me a list of the names of the patients that she can remember. For us to find them, alive or not, I need to find these records. And if you don't mind, I'd like if you distracted every person of authority that might ask me what the hell I'm doing." She leads him off the elevator. "And we might have to meet some of your demon friends today."

"We what?" Jihoon groans.

"She warned me that the demons are asking for more bodies. She says they didn't have anyone until today. So, your friends may be here."

"Not my friends." His hand goes red before slipping into hers. He lets out one long yawn.

"Oh, we're just done asking for permission." She adjusts her grip in his. "You've now also 1) put a timer on us, and 2) made it so we have to be seen together."

"Then you're going to have to work fast."

Jihoon swears he hears her grumbling about the uselessness of demons. She smiles at the nurses at the front desk and slips around the side. Jihoon catches the women watching them, but he easily diverts their attention back to their work.

Suddenly, she bends over as if to tie her shoe.

"You can't let go of my hand. I've already counted two demons and we've been here all of four seconds," Jihoon hisses.

She straightens up with a key card in her hand. Jihoon frowns before he realizes that it's her mother's. They continue down the hallway, her eyes darting to the doors to find the right one while trying to look casual.

Jihoon suddenly stops. "It has to be this one."

She glances around. It doesn't look that different from the others they passed. "Why?"

"Reinforced steel, key card access required, and it isn't labeled like the other doors." Jihoon tugs her closer. "Humans are so worried about personal information theft."

This time, he thinks he hears her praising him, but he isn't quite sure because the beep of the key card granting them access overpowers her voice. They duck inside and are met with not only filing cabinets, but also a computer at the desk. She leads him to the desk and shakes the mouse.

"What?" Jihoon asks. Her expression looks annoyed. Unusual for this human, which in and of itself seemed unusual for humans. The general look of annoyance seemed universal.

"We need a password, which I don't have." She turns to the filing cabinets. "Which means we need to go through these by hand." Her fingers release his hand. "Which means I need this back."

Jihoon stands by the door, his eyes closed. "I'm giving you five minutes."

Human, human, human.

He hears the frantic flipping through the files.

Human, human, de—

Jihoon jerks back towards her and grabs her hand.

She hisses in pain, the burn causing her to drop to her knees. Jihoon gies her a gentle tug to her feet. He doesn't apologize, but he does burn his other hand and takes hers until the demon passes. Grumbling and taking steadying breaths, she flips through more files with her uninjured hand. There are no letters on the front of the drawers to denote what could be contained within the files. So, she has to check. Once she learns the filing system, she's able to systematically go through her mother's short list of names.

The burning in her hand is only mildly distracting, even when he lets go to stand by the door again. She swears Jihoon's manipulating her mind.

But even though she's distracted from the pain, her body is still reacting. Her eyes well up with tears, and she catches sight of the skin blistering as she flips through file after file. Then she has to rifle through papers, taking pictures of each one.

She manages to find all nine people, though she doesn't have the wherewithal to read anything fully.

"Get me out of here," she says. She debates holding out her good hand to redistribute the pain but decides against it. Even with whatever Jihoon's doing to her head, she feels discomfort when his skin makes contact with hers.

"Okay?"

The human's eyes keep going in and out of focus.

"Well, no." She blinks a few times. "But until I look properly, I won't know how bad it is."

Just as he's about to turn the door knob, he notices her hands are empty. "Where are the files?"

"Photos are on my phone. Get me out of here, please."

Jihoon guides her out of the room, past the nurses' station, and into the elevator. Where they wind up right next to a...

Demon.

Jihoon shifts closer to her, using her to block the demon's view of him. But he can see the demon eyeing them.

"Per chance... do I...?" The demon moves closer, but she doesn't turn her head.

"Dude, give me space." She takes a step towards Jihoon, brushing against him. "You're giving me the creeps."

The change in her tone is surprising. Jihoon tries not to react.

"I did not mean to—"

"Seriously." She looks him dead in the eye. "Back. Off."

"Ah." The demon huffs, and his voice deadpans. "I do know you." He returns to his side of the elevator. "You're Xero's 'daughter'."

"Which is why I told you to back off, demon."

"That is Linnaeus to you." Linnaeus glances over at Jihoon. "Who's this? You've got a boyfriend now, hmm?"

"Yes. And you're also giving him the creeps." Luckily, the elevator doors open before Linnaeus can scrutinize them further. She squeezes Jihoon's hand to encourage him to get off first.

"A nice human boyfriend I see? Your mother surely would have preferred a demon."

"She also probably would have preferred to keep her soul and status. But needs must when the devil farts in your direction." She ignores Jihoon's snort of laughter as he drags her into the sunlight. "Have a good day, demon."

"Who says that?" Jihoon hisses, struggling to hide his smile. While he hates when humans take that sarcastic, cutting tone with him; with other demons, it's much more fun.

And from her, particularly charming.

Once out of Linnaeus's watchful eye, she slips her hand out of his. "I heard it in a Youtube video." As she walks around to her side of his car, she takes a breath before checking her hand. Her palm is warm, but surprisingly void of blisters. It also doesn't hurt as much as it had earlier. "Did you heal me?"

"I don't do that." He adjusts his hat, running his fingers through his hair before putting it back on. "Why?"

She shrugs. "Never mind. Thanks for fucking with my head in there."

Jihoon blinks in surprise. "Didn't know you noticed."

"The pain was initially excruciating." Her eyes move to her palm again. Baffled at how normal it feels. "I shouldn't have been able to focus in there."

As she begins scrolling through the pictures of the files she'd taken, Jihoon studies her profile.

"What?" She punches in the first address, triple checking that it's correct before hitting 'Go'. "You're staring."

"Does Linnaeus always talk to you like that?"

"Yeah." She opens and closes her hand. "I always tell him he doesn't blend in well because he talks quite archaic. Do you not think?" She makes a silly point of bowing, which makes Jihoon smile. Rolling her eyes, she continues, "So yeah, he's never really liked me much because of it."

"It'd help him blend in." Jihoon glances at the GPS before turning onto the route.

"And when have demons ever liked help from humans?" She snuggles back into the seat, already preparing to doze. "The other demons were more appreciative because it made it easier for them to do their demon deeds. Linnaeus just hates the constructive feedback."

"He's always been a pretentious jerk. Thought it was just to me, though." He glances at her out of the corner of his eye. "Never heard you speak like that before."

"Linnaeus is always an exception."

part 10

[jtargaryen18]

Hounds of Hell: Hero

Jade -- I came back to town because my grandmother passed away and she was the only family I had left. Grams never wanted me involved with the MCs, but I always knew my father was a member. That was all I knew about him. Now he’s the president of Hounds of Hell MC. Or, as it turns out, he could also be the president of their rival MC, the Cottonmouths. Hounds of Hell MC sent one of their men, Hero, to keep me safe until my parentage gets figured out. No one is telling me why that’s necessary. I should go back to Providence. But I’m done with grad school, and there’s really nothing for me back there. And Hero is one beefy, gorgeous temptation of a biker. Part of me wants to stay here, in the home where I grew up. Part of me just wants him.

Hero -- When my prez gave me the babysitting assignment to keep an eye on the daughter he’s never known, I resented it. Until I got a look at her. Choosing me to protect her was the right call. The Cottonmouths took her from me once. No one is taking her away from me again -- no matter who has to die. I don’t care who her father is. Jade is mine.

Buy it today!

Excerpt

Christian Hammond, Hero to his brothers, watched from the inside of his Jeep as the leggy brunette made her way to the small SUV. She was probably heading to town, so he decided to give her a head start and see what she was up to. He didn’t have anything else going on at the moment.

When Razor told him to go see if his daughter had come home, Hero had been annoyed by the assignment. What the fuck was he? A babysitter?

Now that he got a look at her, he didn’t have much to complain about. Her jeans were tight, showing off legs a mile long and a nice ass to go with them. Her baggy college sweatshirt didn’t do her any favors, but her long dark hair framed a face that was delicate, beautiful.

How the fuck did Razor have a daughter who looked like that?

His club president probably wouldn’t appreciate him ogling his only child the way he was either but… Look at her.

Scrubbing a hand over his beard, Hero waited as she started the car and threw on her seat belt. Finally, she started down the long gravel driveway that took her to Route 8. Hero let her reach town, not having any trouble spotting her as she parked on Main Street and headed straight for the local coffee shop.

Hero liked the way she walked with her shoulders back, her head held high. Confidence was sexy as hell on a woman and the sway of her round little ass didn’t hurt either.

His phone rang before he could shut off the engine and follow her on foot. Not surprisingly, it was Razor.

“She make it into town?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Hero told him. “Old man Phillips was there and talked to her for a while.”

“Hmm.” A pause. “I’ve got Snow working on the girl over at the attorney’s office. She’s sweet on him. We’ll see if she can find out if my girl means to keep the house or sell it.”

“Want me to stay on her?” As much as he’d bitched to himself about the assignment, he was minding a lot less now.

A long pause which was odd. Razor usually didn’t have any trouble issuing orders.

“Yeah, man, I need you to,” Razor said in a lower voice. “I’d give it to the prospects but… I need someone I can trust on this. I’m going to need eyes on her at all times until I can resolve some shit. If you’d stay on her until midnight, I’ll have Snow come relieve you.”

What was this about?

Hero wouldn’t question his prez. He appreciated that Razor trusted him.

“I’m on it,” Hero told him. “She’s here in town now, so I’m keeping an eye out.”

“Talk to you soon,” Razor told him, ending the call.

His daughter had come home for the funeral just like Razor said she would.

Everyone in Mercy knew Mina Dock. The old woman had a lot of friends so tomorrow was bound to be a circus.

The girl’s grandmother taught school for years and had retired not too long ago. She was apparently as stubborn as Razor and that was saying a lot. The president of his club had been trying for years to see his daughter, to see if Mina would agree to any type of shared custody arrangement or visitation rights. The old woman wouldn’t hear of it.

Razor never talked about it. Hero had heard stories.

Razor had never taken an old lady, and the girl’s mother, by all accounts, had been one of the club sluts for a time. Apparently, when she got knocked up, Mina Dock took control of the situation and that was the end of it.

Razor had a daughter he wasn’t allowed to see any more than he had her mother before that. The girl’s mother died a long time ago. Mina Dock had to have been one tough bitch to have kept Razor away.

Hero climbed out of his Jeep when she darted back out of the shop, a coffee cup in hand as she continued up the sidewalk. Her movements were fast, determined.

Hero grinned. There it was.

Razor walked like that when he meant business, or he was pissed at someone.

Speeding up a little, Hero headed in her direction. He was enjoying the sunny day, his curvy assignment. Things could certainly be worse.

When he saw a white delivery van come up the road behind him, he couldn’t have said why he noticed. Three familiar-looking men jumped out and he froze.

Fucking Cottonmouths. What the fuck were they doing here? They weren’t wearing their cuts but he knew who they were.

And he’d lost her. He didn’t know which shop she’d darted into, but he moved even faster. He couldn’t help but feel they were here for her, same as him.

Fuck.

While he was fairly sure he could handle the three of them on his own, he’d been in enough skirmishes to know better than to be one against three with the girl in play. He couldn’t risk texting, so he called Razor back.

“Yeah.”

“Three Cottonmouths just showed up,” Hero said quickly. “We’re on Main Street.”

“Really?” Razor didn’t sound amused. “The posse’s coming.”

“Thanks.” Hero pocketed his phone and watched as the three of them darted across the street, walking in front of him on the sidewalk. They didn’t even notice him.

The first one was Jimmy Jazz, a scrappy little fucker who put on a good show until things got physical. Then he tended to fade into the background like the little coward he was. The second one, Big Dog, had the tender sweetness of a pit bull and was one hell of a fighter. Hero knew he could stand toe-to-toe against the massive, shaggy-looking asshole. But he’d rather not.

The one that worried him was Baby Face.

Walking ahead of the other two, Baby Face was average size with a pretty face the girls loved. And he could draw them to him like a bee charmer, all honey and smiles.

His pretty face concealed a black heart. A more sadistic little fucker Hero hadn’t met. What he lacked in size, he made up for in savagery. He was good with knives and could take most down with his blades before they even realized they were bleeding out.

He’d cut up many a club slut, too.

That they were here for Razor’s daughter had him wondering what the hell was going on. Why were the Cottonmouths after the girl?

When she darted out of another shop - he didn’t know which store it was - his heart sank to see them right on her heels. Hero sped up, hoping his backup got there fucking fast.

Baby Face called out to her. When she didn’t stop, he did it again.

Don’t stop.

Copyright Notification: All Changeling Press LLC publications and cover art are copyright and may not be used in any AI generated work. No AI content is included or allowed in any Changeling Press LLC publication or artwork.

[amat3ured1t0r]

it’s slowly nearing that time of the year and I’m looking at a text I sent my mom asking about my grandma. I can’t talk about her without crying. I miss her.

this is kind of a vent so there’s gonna be a cut. I’m kind of crying at the moment so it’s kind of hard to write.. sorry.. I just really miss her.

you can scroll if you’d like. I just really want at least one person to see and read this.

I just want to know someone cares enough to read this whole thing.

19/3/2023 | Recently my grandma had been put into the hospital. A few weeks prior to this text I had visited her. My mom wouldn’t let me visit during school, so I barely went. I had asked a couple times, but she didn’t want me to. She was with grandma that day and I wanted to know how she was doing.

26/3/2023 - 29/3/2023 | It was around these days she passed. I can’t remember which one exactly. She passed away peacefully in the hospital. The day I got the news was terrible. I couldn’t think straight.. i couldn’t breathe. I miss her so so much. What I wouldn’t give to have her there a few more weeks.

If you actually read my Masterpost, you’d probably know my birthday is April 7th. That would be in less than 2 weeks. I don’t know what I did to deserve those things that happened so near my birthday.

25/3/2023 (a day or two earlier) | my mom wanted to ask me some things to help plan my birthday party.

Start of April, but before my birthday | I was quiet. Awfully quiet. I wanted to tell one of my friends what happened. I wanted to stay home. I wanted to cry. I wanted them to care. But would they in the first place? Never.

After my birthday, maybe around 8/4/2023 - 13/4/2023 | Me and my brother were walking home from the bus stop. Once we got inside, we saw our parents. They were crying. Most of all, my dad. Something happened. My grandpa (Dads side) passed away in his home. Why? Why, just after we lost my grandma? Why did we deserve this? Why, why, why. That’s all I could think. It was all so fucking near my birthday. I don’t get it! First my grandma (moms side), then my grandpa!

Why?

why me? Why my family? Why my grandpa? Why my grandma?

..Why did they leave me?

…I miss you guys so so much.

My grandma had cancer. An incurable one. Bone cancer. I don’t get why she was the one who had to get it. Why did Mother Nature take her from me? It’s not the same.

That one fun-loving, nice, happy, little girl you once knew? She’s gone. That was stripped from her the day you left.

That contagious smile you had on your face every time she saw you? She’ll never see again. But still, she misses you so so much. Love you. Hope your doing good.

And grandpa?

I loved you so much, too. I didn’t know you as well as my grandma but that’s only cause I didn’t see you as often. You were a good man. I don’t know what happened to Stanley. He was brought to a store or something but I don’t know what’s going on with him now. I still have those feathers from Stanley you gave me and my brother every time you visited. I’ll always miss you. Fly high.

———————————————————————

I get so pissed when I see someone joking about cancer or anything serious. It’s not funny, so I don’t know why people make jokes about it. If you’ve read this far, I just want to thank you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without any of you being here to cheer me up. Every time you talk or interact with me? It just makes me so happy.

[bowtiepastabitch]

.

I'm genuinely having such a moment. I saw one of those posts, really well meaning just a "I was backpacking in europe exploring all these cool cities for ten hours a day last year and now I'm disabled and can't get out of bed" and I'm just.... really sad. I never got to go backpacking in europe or explore cities and ruins on foot or anything I just skipped straight to disabled and can't get out of bed. I worked part time and then I worked full time and then I started uni and got disabled (but I'm still working because what other choice do I have). I've never left the north american continent, and the sicker I get the more expensive it gets to potentially do so because doing it cheap means doing it inaccessible. I got exhausted from walking around a grocery store today. Half my friends on instagram are in fucking Europe right now, spain or france or italy or whatever the fuck having a great time. One of the kids at the place where I teach is going on a two week london/paris vacation later this month and she's in fucking middle school. Meanwhile, I'm getting paid 8/hr to teach math and algebra and precal for parents who can afford to send their kid to a fancy tutoring center and even though I only work a couple hours a day I spend the rest of it resting and laying down and barely having the energy to scroll my tumblr dash most days. I'm so fucking tired. I pay money for doctors to tell me things I already know but if I don't then I can't prove I deserve my accommodations and even if I do I still feel like I'm fucking faking it to be lazy. I know the "1 in 3 adults in the united states has this that or the other" is supposed to make me feel less alone but instead it just makes me feel like I'm exaggerating and should be able to at least keep up with a good chunk of people my age but I just fucking can't. I can't do this. Maybe if I was fucking middle class and didn't have to work to live or if I was able bodied and could work a normal job, or if I had rich parents and could do the things I wanted without having to struggle for them things would be different but I have fought so. fucking. hard. for everything I have. I'm alive because of the work I put in to pull myself back from the edge over. and over. learning to keep myself alive until I could learn to want to be alive. working my fucking ass off to get into a good uni with a good scholarship far away from home so I could move out of my abusive household and get a good education. I've worked so fucking hard for every single thing in my life and now my body won't even cooperate and let me enjoy it and I'm so fucking exhausted. My memory's not working very well and my body gives up on moving from the couch half the time and I've got vague all over pain that never quite goes away and I can't sleep and I can't wake up and I can't talk to people without being awkward and weird and I can't save up my money and fly to europe. And because I made myself so sick in high school I've got a horrible nagging fear that it's somehow my fault in some way which is honestly maybe a worse explanation than "I'm being a whiny baby about things that a lot of people have dealt with better" and it fucking sucks. Plus I'm living with my parents for the summer because every single thing I applied to for the summer rejected me, so my mental health is wonky and I've got all kinds of little trauma things popping up from time to time but also they're getting better about some things sometimes so I feel immensely guilty to complain about them. And also they're helping pay my medical, even if it is coming out of the rent I paid to them during my medically necessitated gap year. So I again feel guilty bitching about them too much. And my car doesn't work anymore so I have to borrow or ask for a ride anytime I want to go somewhere and I don't have any close friends that live near me anymore anyway. And it doesn't matter because I'm fucking disabled and I can't do cool fun adventure shit and I can't find the energy for big creative projects and I can't fly to europe.

[murdercrumb]

anything fem shuake. coworkers?

detective femgoro and intern femkira :3

cw: genderbend, slight age gap

when goro was younger, she worked her fair share as an intern—hell, she worked her ass off to get where she is today. and all those years being underpaid and overworked, she was never taken seriously. 

organize these files, akechi-chan. be careful not to get a papercut.

fetch me a coffee, akechi-chan. try not to burn yourself.

the men in the office treated her like a human footstool. even sae-san viewed her as nothing more than a bumbling child.

but she moved up the ladder. when a position opened up—when one of those old freaks retired—goro jumped at the opportunity. she was hired based on her superior intellect; no one in the office had any idea what a necessity she would be.

goro’s held the title of detective for over a year now. interns have come and gone, none with a determination comparable to hers. but this new hire, this… straight-out-of-high-school bimbo, she has no right to step near an office of the law.

kurusu—such a repulsive name. she’s stupid, brainless, unprofessional. can she even utter a sentence that’s not one of those foolish jokes of hers? she dresses in pants everyday—jeans, nonetheless. would it kill her to try to look like a girl? not to mention those button-up shirts she’s fond of. it’s better than a t-shirt, sure, but whatever size she’s buying is clearly ill-fitted. the buttons are always threatening to pop off her chest. it’s a safety hazard. it’s ugly, it’s improper, it’s damn shameless.

worst of all, it’s as if their coworkers don’t even notice the atrocity of her wardrobe. it’s not like goro wants kurusu to be sexually harassed—goro’s a feminist, obviously. but goro can’t begin to count the times she was catcalled at 8 in the morning. all the times she was groped through her pencil skirt, when she was told to smile and unbutton her shirt and to try a darker shade of lipstick; it’ll make you look like a grown-up, akechi-chan. her coworkers would ogle her reasonably sized (not flat) chest when she delivered coffee, yet they pay no mind to kurusu with her unruly tits hanging out. in fact, they seem to actively avoid her. they seem scared of her.

goro wants to know what the deal is.

so she approaches kurusu one day after work. it’s late. the rest of the office has gone home, but goro’s determined to crack the case she’s been assigned. as well as the case of the untouchable intern.

“kurusu,” she starts, no need for pleasantries. she has no idea why the girl is still here. as young as she is, does she not have parents waiting on her? “i’d like to address some rumors.”

“rumors?” kurusu’s eyes glint behind her glasses. she knows exactly what goro’s referring to.

“yes. have you been threatening employees? or any implications of such?”

a smirk. “i wasn’t aware you work for HR, akechi-chan.”

goro’s brain short-circuits. she tightens a gloved fist at her side. 

“don’t— do not call me that.”

kurusu lifts a brow. she looks more amused than anything. “akechi-san it is.”

“answer my question.”

“about the threats? i think i’d remember doing something like that.”

she slips off her glasses, and goro’s brain stops working a second time. not from rage, not from embarrassment, no. it’s pure astonishment that floods her.

kurusu’s eyes are sharp, her irises a deep grey, the rigid edges of a glacier. danger is laced in every dark ring, her gaze one of natural dominance. one blink, one flutter of sinful lashes. goro’s legs tremble in her heels.

“i may have given them a piece of advice.” kurusu’s voice sounds so much deeper now, a vibration that coils in goro’s gut. “you can’t blame me for that, can you?”

“what did you tell them?”

a knowing gaze travels down goro’s body, those terrifying eyes glued to goro’s skirt. it’s like she can see right through the fabric.

goro feels red-hot on the receiving end of that stare. she wants to run.

she stands firmly in place instead, demanding an answer from her subordinate.

“to stay away from you,” kurusu murmurs, a sultry purr. her eyes return to goro’s face. “that you’re mine.”

goro swallows a growing lump in her throat. she’s betrayed by an ache between her legs, the hot, wet desire of her pussy beneath her skirt, a steady drip down her thighs.

“you want me to be yours?” goro keeps her chin held high. kurusu’s dangerous gaze morphs into that of an excited puppy—it’s ridiculously endearing. “you’ll have to work for it.”

[krikeymate]

Hello lovely person :) I’m not sure if someone asked this before but I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it. I was wondering about what if we’ve gotten a younger Tara while everything else stayed the same? So similar to your 5 years late AU, but it’s not quite 5 years because that might be a bit much to keep things like they play out in canon.

Let’s say Tara is 16 when the first attack happens. Sam still used to babysit Mindy, Chad, Wes etc. even if they’re a bit older than Tara and that’s why she’s friends with them. They’re not in the same grade but the friendship stuck.

So everything still plays out like it did in 5, with maybe a bit more of a focus on why Christina isn’t showing up as Tara’s still a minor here.

How do you think things would continue after the movie? Would Sam stay in Woodsboro with Tara for years, until she finishes school? Would she try to gain custody for Tara so she can take her out of that town earlier, or maybe even just to get her away from Christina’s obvious neglect? Would she manage to get custody? Would Tara even want that?

I’ve been playing around with this idea in my head for a while now and I might actually start writing a fiction in this setting one day (probably not, I still have too many unfinished (Wednesday) stories on ao3 -.-), but you’re my favorite „scream fandom person“ so I’m curious to see if you have any thoughts on this. If you don’t, that’s fine, too :) Please don’t feel pressured to reply!

Hope you had or are having a good day! <3

Man I had the hardest time working out a timeline for this, so the friend group are born in 2004 which makes them 18 when the attack happens. I had to decide whether to make Tara 16 nearly 17, or 15 nearly 16. I decided to keep 16 nearly 17 even though I felt a year younger would be more appropriate, because baby. Tara's born late 2005. God, me and my compulsive need to be very specific about timelines.

In the five years late AU, Tara is 14 when their version of 5 happens, but there's a lot of focus on explaining why Sam wouldn't leave.

So let's look at why she still would. Christina's not the absolute worst to Tara here. She's not the best, and she's got her problems, but she's not actively awful. Sam's 8 when Tara is born. She's 5 when Sam finds the diary at 13. She's 10 when Sam leaves at 18. Sam loves her little sister so much, but she can't get her mother's words out of her head. The fear that she'll hurt her baby sister is too much, she has to get out of there. Tara's still so young, she'll forget about her, she tells herself. In a few years, she won't ever remember she had a sister. That would be for the best, Sam tells herself.

The twins + Wes start babysitting Tara instead, after all, Sam was younger than them when she babysat them. Despite the couple of years age difference between them, they stay friends and they all look out for Tara once she starts high school. (You'd think having cool senior friends would make her more popular, it doesn't.)

Sam's pretty horrified when she comes back and finds out that their mother isn't even here, doesn't intend to be here, and that she disappears frequently. It's ok, Tara tells her, I stay with my friends a lot. Sam's screaming that's not okay!!! in her head, but maintains a straight face and just leaves a lingering kiss on her sister's head.

Sam tries to get custody over Tara, she fights for it - she wants to take her away, get her out of this place - but the courts say no. They declare that Tara was old enough to be left alone at the time of the incident, that there's no evidence of neglect or abuse, they ignore the testimony of the Meeks-Martins that it's been going on for years (well why didn't you report it years ago, they chime back). She's almost 18 anyway, they say, then she'll be free to go where she pleases.

The twins go off to college. They wanted to stay local, to keep an eye on Tara, she convinces them to go, that she'll be fine. Sam promises them that she's not going anywhere, never again. Sam stays.

Her mother won't let her into her home, but her mother is rarely there. Sam rents somewhere dirt cheap and barely stays there.

Tara has a hard time knowing how to be around her sister again. She still remembers her so clearly, unlike her father who she doesn't remember at all. Sam's a little harder, she doesn't smile or laugh as freely, but she still feels the same. Tara doesn't feel the same at all. There's a part of her that's scared that Sam will leave again once she realises her sister is just a stranger to her now. She doesn't know how to bridge that gap.

But that's ok, because Sam keeps trying to anyway. She holds her through her breakdowns, and tells her she loves her, and apologises at night when she thinks Tara's asleep.

You should totally work on this idea, it's a really cool one!! And hey, you don't have to upload anything until you're ready to upload it. Work on things in your own time, the people who want to read it (me) will still be there ready and waiting for when you do.

[good-times-with-weapons]

More on that girl

I’ve probably ranted about this before

I’ll call her “Susie Can’t Sing,” by coincidence I first met her during a show with another “Susie” who was insanely talented so she’s “Susie Can Sing”

So Susie is like the pitchiest singer I know, I’ve literally missed cues because of her voice, it’s that “distracting” but still, not the worst problem a person can have obviously and no reason to dislike someone

But she’s also totally self righteous and kinda annoying too

She’s the girl who was bugging our Regina for struggling with lines in one scene when she herself didn’t know her own lines all the way

She also (allegedly) doesn’t wear deodorant which is weird of her

She was a freshman at my high school, so I also knew her that way, and she kinda treated me like a pre-ordered friend like I didn’t graduate the year she started

And I fill her in on things, sometimes, because she would know who I was talking about when I’d mention a student or a teacher

(I’ll remind y’all this girl is four years younger than me, and we aren’t friends)

But on my first day of frozen, she was walked me to the large dance room and when we were leaving the black box, she blocked the door and said I “couldn’t pass without giving her a hug” deadass her exact words

So I straight up said “no thank you” and she told me I was the first person not to do it, and yeah that makes sense, because half the cast is like 8-12 years old and literally children

And then I immediately when through the next doorway and hugged one of the stage managers but like ._.

And once I heard her complaining that she got a non singing, small part in a recent show, like girl it’s cause you can’t sing

Yes I complain about similar things, and I probably sound the same as her, but BUT I routinely get theatrical parts and the occasional singing roll

(and people do tell me I can sing so like either they’re liars or I just don’t fit the parts I try for)(I also get super nervous during auditions and it comes through in my voice I think)

[haemosexuality]

memories i have of being a child and a lesbian:

-first week of 3rd grade, i walked in class and thought "ok i need to pick a boy to have a crush on this year". i thought that was just what you did. picked one bc i thought he had a cool haircut, proceeded to never have a conversation w him

-thinking "girls are naturally so much prettier than boys. this is common knowledge"

-being really jealous of the Cool Girl in my 4th grade class that was One Of The Boys. she played football with them. she sat really relaxed in chairs. she doesnt care about being pretty. isnt that just so cool? starts consciously trying to imitate her. also, even before that i always made sure to INSIST that my favorite color was blue and i did NOT like pink!!!!

-playing barbies with my cool, older cousin (she mustve been like 11? 12? i was around 8). her barbie was a mess because she had just broken up with her other barbie. i was confused. she explained to me what lesbians were (i knew men could be gay, but not women). immediately after that every single doll i had was a lesbian in a relationship. after figuring that it was probably a bit weird i was so obsessed with making my dolls lesbians, i came to the conclusion i would "probably like girls when i grow up". decided to tell my other, deeply religious cousin about this. she went "WHAT" and i went "HAHA JUST KIDDING IT WAS A JOKE" and never thought about it again

-a year later me and the deeply religious cousin were making ever after high dolls fuck. i was the one that came up w that idea (i also didnt know women could have sex at that point, i thought i had invented lesbian sex) and this haunted me for years bc i thought that that cousin had become homophobic after we grew up. recently found out shes also gay, good for her

-being just Really obsessed with marceline from adventure time for some reason. whenever i saw her on tv my heart would beat really really fast. wonder whats up w that 🤔

-being grounded for like, 5 months when i was 10 because my mom found out i was watching youtube videos from a lesbian couple. and also some videos with sex jokes. i wish i remembered that the lesbians channel was so bad

-i also watched lubatv. hes a brazilian youtuber famous for being openly gay. he introduced me to the concept of shipping, because ppl shipped him with another youtuber, t3ddy. he (plus facebook, and the cool older cousin from before) also introduced me to social activism

-asking permission from my parents to put a rainbow filter on my facebook pfp, in support of gay people. i thought i was such a good straight ally. i dont remember what happened but i think something negative mustve bc a lot of ppl were doing that in 2015. wait fuck now that i think about it that mightve actually been in 2016 because of pulse

- (we are still in 2015 im still 10) watching clips from Steven Universe Season 1 Episode 53 Jailbreak on youtube. they were (badly) subtitled bc i didnt speak english yet. i was absolutely shocked and could not believe they would show two girls kissing in a childrens cartoons, not bc i thought that was bad but bc i was like. would cartoon network really allow this??? i proceed to memorize the entire episode (again i didnt even speak english. and i watched it so many times i memorized it anyways lmao)

-being 11, and having my friend introduce to me this cool new thing she had found online, "fanfics". she linked me a college au fanfic of marceline and bubblegum from adventure time. it had a fade to black implied sex scene. i was hypnotized

-i was a very anxious child and every morning before getting to school i would prepare step-by-step what i would do when entering class. one day my internal monologue went "walk in, say good morning to teacher, kiss [previously mentioned girl best friend] on the mouth, say hello to- wait. where did that come from". start wondering if i was really Just A Really Good Straight Ally

-few days later, me and my friend group were discussing gay people. one of them asked "like i wonder if any of us are gonna be gay?". i thought for about 2.5 seconds and said "i think im bi", being the first one on my class to come out. they were all p chill ab it. i am not bi but its the thought that counts

-cutting off 30 inches of my really long hair and shaving one side at 11. my dad was mad at me for a week and he told me "i dont understand why you did this. you're looking like a dyke". originally i had planned to cut all of it really short "boy style" but the hairstylist insisted on at the very least letting half of it be longer. i did think half shaved hair was Cool so i was fine with that

[nikibogwater]

Niki Blethers: The Miraculous Ladybug & Cat Noir Movie, except I haven't seen the show

Okay, well, technically I've seen....maybe 7 or 8 episodes of it? But that was seven years ago, and all I remember about it is Fun Concept, Horrible Execution. That, and Marinette's a total creep. But I was intrigued when I heard the movie was going to be a soft reboot of sorts, and I had free time this afternoon, so I took the beating to my already-dead self-respect and sat down to watch the Miraculous Ladybug Movie.

Long story short: Movie good and fun, and also my heart goes out to all the long-time Miraculous Ladybug sufferers who had to wait almost a decade for the series to finally use its main premise effectively.

Spoilers below the cut!

This is, from what I can tell, a re-telling of Ladybug and Cat Noir's origin story, which is nice because that meant I didn't really need to watch more of the show than I already have in order to understand what's happening.

On that note, I actually kind of think my experience with the movie was improved by my own ignorance. Because sometimes Stuff would just Happen, and like, I could tell it was the kind of Stuff that's par for the course in the show, but it hit me out of left field and made everything 10 times funnier.

First laugh of the movie: Master Fu is so intense when he says the phrase "dark butterflies!!!" This was the moment I knew I was in for a good time.

Oh my goodness--okay, hang on, what is this dialogue between Marinette and her mom? Real people do not talk like that. This sounds like a conversation between the two ADHD braincells inside my skull, please tell me the whole movie isn't like this.

It isn't. Thank heavens. Shame that that's how the movie opens though.

I would die for Marinette's father.

And she's--oh, she's singing. Oh this is a musical. For some reason, I wasn't expecting that. Wait hang on, that is Marinette singing, right?? Why couldn't they find a singer who actually sounds like her usual voice actress?

Marinette honey, what are you doing at a café, aren't you supposed to be going to school? Is this a Paris thing, just stopping for coffee on your way to school?

Okay, already I can tell Marinette's character has undergone some major revisions. She's way more relatable here, being a creative who wants to share her art with the world, but is too anxious and socially awkward to know how to do so. Also she's no longer stalking Adrien like a total creep, so yeah. 10/10, good main protagonist.

Chloe is just a straight up psychopath. Like, I thought her abuse would be limited to the typical high-school popular girl gaslighting and insults. But she is ready to commit actual murder here. Marinette's gotta watch her back or else Chloe might literally put a knife in it.

We all need a friend like Aliya.

The scene where Marinette meets Adrien is actually pretty well-done. It's easy to see why she starts crushing on him right away, when their first interaction is him seeing her in distress and expressing genuine concern for her. They also don't spend a ton of time dwelling on Mari's crush, which makes it 100% less creepy.

Aww, Adrien's such a sweetheart. They do a great job of establishing who he is in a very short amount of time. 20 seconds into his first appearance, and I've already picked up that he is shy and socially anxious like Mari, but he's willing to overcome that to make sure she's okay. Also love the little detail of him always having earbuds in.

Marinette's song with Tiki was probably the best song in the entire movie. Coincidentally, it's also the only one that didn't feel horribly out of place to me.

I would also die for the Notre Dame security guy. I think the gargoyle has already killed him, but still. Second-best character in the movie.

I really enjoyed the contrast of Adrien and Marinette's individual reactions to getting superpowers. They're both equally incompetent here, but they express it in opposite ways (Adrien with zealous overconfidence, and Marinette with bewildered terror).

STOP FIGHTING INSIDE THE CATHEDRAL!!! THERE IS ALMOST 700 YEARS OF CATHOLIC HISTORY IN THERE!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

I'm surprised at how much I genuinely laughed with this movie. I was expecting the jokes to be a lot more juvenile and stale (I mean, there still IS a joke like that, thankfully it's only one).

Hey, Studio ZAG? Yeah, just a heads up, your action scene coordinators/animators deserve a raise. Like, a really big one.

*w h e e z e!* CARELESS WHISPER?! ADRIEN, NOOOOOOOOO!!!

I see Hawk Moth has never read/seen Fullmetal Alchemist.

Wait, why does this man just have a dungeon full of magical criminals in his back yard?? I thought he ran a dressmaking business.

Adrien wants a woman who can both kick and save his ass. I can respect that.

I like how Marinette takes such a long time to accept her role as Ladybug. Nothing about her first venture as a superhero sells the idea to her. In fact, it makes her even more desperate to get out of it.

That being said, it felt like her finally accepting the Miraculous came a bit out of left field. I think it would've worked better if she had seen Hawk Moth's attack on the carnival put someone dear to her in danger. Like her dad, or Aliya (technically Aliya IS there and IS in danger, but as far as I can tell, Marinette doesn't realize she's stuck on the roller coaster until AFTER she's accepted the Miraculous). As it is, it kind of looks like Mari just sort of changed her mind about it all after a good night's sleep.

I need a spinoff series about the Mime guy who can shoot people with his mind. Actual best character of the entire movie.

Ladybug and Cat have a really great dynamic, and there wasn't any point where I felt like one of them could win this without the other. Outside of battle, they also provide each other with a lot of emotional support, with Cat being the one to give Mari her confidence, and Ladybug giving Adrien someone to fight for.

Adrien is kind of pathetic, but I think I actually like that about him. When Ladybug rejects him, he desperately asks her to reconsider. It's not very mature, but feels pretty realistic, considering his age and what he's been going through. And I like that Marinette is actually torn between her crush on Adrien and her developing feelings for Cat. She's not dismissive of Cat Noir, but she feels like starting something with him would somehow be disloyal to Adrien.

Hawk Moth's voice actor put his EVERYTHING into the line "I hate you, Ladybug and Cat Noir!" and it is peak comedy.

Oh my gosh, not Careless Whisper again.

The climax was actually decently intense. It's pretty easy to figure out where it's all going to end up, but even so, I was on the edge of my seat for the whole thing.

That awkward moment when you almost commit infanticide. #JustHawkMothThings

So I'm gonna assume that the show does a better job of explaining why they aren't allowed to use the Ladybug and Cat Miraculouses to bring Emilie back to life. Because I feel like if there wasn't a good reason to NOT do that, then Hawk Moth's first course of action should have been to just invite Ladybug and Cat over for tea and explain the situation to them.

I was happily surprised to see them actually resolve the whole Love Square thing. From what I know, dragging that aspect out has been the one thing that's kept the show alive this long. But I'm glad they went this route. The movie would've been infinitely less satisfying if they'd stuck to the status quo.

Aww, well that was a really cute mov--WHY IS EMILIE'S CORPSE IN THE BASEMENT

All in all, I had a good time with this movie. The animation was really nice, the character designs were good, I thought the English dub actors did a great job, and the relationship between the two main leads was pretty compelling. There were a lot of weird little quirks that I'm assuming came from the show, but overall, this feels like the MLB team finally using the show's core concept in a way that doesn't completely squander its potential. If they make a sequel (which it looks like they're planning to?), I'm totally on board to check it out. 7/10, great for when you just want something cute that doesn't need to be taken seriously to enjoy.

[notquitecharlie]

8/28/23

Dear friend,

I’ve started at school. It’s going surprisingly good. I’ve become friends with this tenth grade guy and I hang out with him and his friends. I’m doing the school play and I got the role I auditioned for (co-narrator). I don’t know why I feel the need to bitch right now but I’m sorry.

I forgot how hard it is to be around people that you know would be okay with you being gay. Twice today it almost slipped out and i felt terrible for wanting to say that. Then for wanting to hide it. Mostly because I would be out if it wasn’t for how I knew my family would react. I want to be. I want to date in high school and be happy and laugh and joke when girls show me pictures of cute guys. And I know that everyone says you can’t know someone’s reaction until you come out, I accidentally stumbled out of the closet once. I was 13.

I’d been on the website “when I came out” and I stupidly forgot to clear my history. My mom found it and said she needed to talk to me that night. As soon as she said that I fucking knew I’d forgotten and I couldn’t eat that day at school, I barely talked to anyone in fear of what was waiting at home. We didn’t talk when I got home. We talked that night when I was reading and everyone else was in their rooms. She asked me why I was on that website and I said “I think I might like girls”. That was stupid. To summarize she said I was sick, and going to hell, that I was never going to be happy, that I was an attention seeking fag, that i had always been a disappointment but even for me this was a step too far, she told me I was going to hell, that I a horrible person and a lot of other shit. She ended it with telling me to go to bed and we could talk again in the morning because she didn’t know how she felt about me being around to poison all of her other kids. Repeat: I was 13. She told this to her thirteen year old daughter.

The next day I told her I was wrong. That I liked guys. That I was straight. She told me “You’re a fucking liar but that’s better than being anything else. You fucking better not tell anyone any of this shit”. Up until today, I hadn’t.

I don’t know why this felt so important to tell you but it did. I drove to get some groceries alone at 8pm a little bit ago and the song it’s a sin came on then trying my best. I turned the volume up to thirty rolled the windows down and cried.

I don’t know that I believe there’s something wrong with me anymore. No gay person I’ve ever met has made me feel as small and insignificant and unworthy of life as my mom did in that moment.

I don’t know how to move on. It’s been three years. We pretend it never happened but it did. I still think about it and cry sometimes. It hurts. Every time I see her I remember her face as she said those words no remorse other than remorse for bringing me into this world.

I don’t know friend.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

It just hurts. Still. And I know it shouldn’t I know I should forgive and move on but I can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry.

Love always,

M.