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#and suddenly start acting like that's just a part of me and it's weird if i distance myself from it
Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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every weird grown adult with a bizarre or straight-up violent hate boner for this teenage character clearly written in a way that checks off nearly every box on the "misogynist writer" list so badly that the actress who played her got loads of hatemail for being the bad guy like. needs to think for a little while
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Bad news, got back from the vet and my beautiful baby son is going to have to be put down soon, probably tomorrow or the next day, so send him best of wishes for his next few days~ Luckily, he's actually not in a lot of pain (for now, hopefully he won't be) and is acting pretty normal, so I'm hoping he won't suffer at all and everything will be peaceful for him.
#pet death tw#death mention#let me know if I need any other tags#I would post something to help pay for his euthanasia expenses or etc. but I don't know of any secure methods#since I don't know much about stuff like that. I've heard that like on paypal and ebay and stuff people can still get your real name#and some information from their payment receipts or whatever sutff like that. thats part of why I've held off on selling clothes and sculpt#res for so long is trying to find a way to do it that's the most safe. aside from literall yhaving to start an llc and open a business bank#account and run everything on an entirely sepreate thing just so it has no association with my name and etc.#and obviouskly I don't feel like figuring out all of that stuff right now lol#I am busy just trying to make my beautiful meatloaf son comfortable and spend some time with him whilst I can#It's sad. but I'm glad the issues were caught before he was in terrible pain or anything. So suprisingly it was actually a pretty easy#decision. I would rather him go out while he's feeling okay and relatively content then wait until he's in severe#pain or extremely lethargic or etc. So it seems all very sudden but . It's better that way for him.#anyway#of COURSE this has to happen during a heat wave also.. hhrgghhh...#more fuel for my vendetta against summer lol.. Not that it's the season's fault but. something bad happening in the winter#vs. seomthing bad happening in the summer which just adds an extra layer of 'oh yeah on top of everything else#you're going to be sweating and nauseous and chronically uncomfortable!' is like.. >:T#Also for him. part of the issue is lung cancer which has spread and caused a bunch of fluid to build up in his stomach (which is what I#noticed. even though he's acting perfectly fine and normal his stomach was weird and bloated suddenly)#but if part of the problem is his lungs (which look absolutely crazy on xray) then him breathing in hot shitty thick air is definitely#not as comfortable as if he were able to be nice and cool and snuggled in some blankets. etc. etc.#ANYWAY ghhb... send him much luck and positivity!! Really hoping he can make it through the next day or so without#taking a turn for the worst. So hopeing for a peaceful quiet exit and not like tramatic sudden things. etc. etc.#cross your fingers pray to your gods whisper to the night sky so on and so forth. whatever you do that's meaningful to you.
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jewishbarbies · 10 months
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my mom has been very vocal about how much she doesn't like that i'm a horror fan for several years, and now she laughs when i mention anything about the Barbie movie because she "can't believe i like Barbie" since it's so different, like, if she only knew what i post about on the internet. oh boy.
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neverendingford · 9 months
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#tag talk#told my brother about how I trimmed my sublingual frenulum and he explained to me how apparently I'm a 12 on the weird scale#he was like “at least it wasn't the dick one” and I had to tell him that yeah I already got that one like.. two years ago.#I think I'm now a 13 on the weird scale in his eyes#idk. it's always an isolating experience to meet people who are like “yeah I'm so weird I'm a freak!” and then I start talking and they just#the slow horror creeps across their face and suddenly I'm the freak again.#and here's the thing. yeah it's mixed up in mental instability but it's rooted in a genuine view that my body is just an object#I feel better than I've ever felt and I've been thinking about how I don't like that part of my body. so I changed it. simple as that.#it's not self harm it's self actualization. I'm creating something.#this is my gripe with mental health professionals. they view it as pathology. view it as a problem.#was me piercing my ears an act of self harm? I would say no. but deliberately sticking a needle into your body could be extrapolated as such#idk. just because I'm not like everyone else doesn't make me a freak. doesn't make me bad. doesn't make me abhorrent.#I like the fact that I'm becoming more confident in my weirdness. owning it. if anyone doesn't like it they can leave. I am who I am.#I still want some sort of wing design across my back and shoulder blades but I think I'll actually have to get that done professionally.#some day. not soon for sure. but eventually#my back is relatively bare compared to my front since my arm reach is limited so you know.#but like. a dragon wing design kinda like the red dragon Hannibal-style#wouldn't that absolutely fuck severely?#I think it would#I don't want more far out body mods like split tongue or piercings on less practical body parts#though actually ngl after bottom surgery I would actually totally get some sort of labial piercing maybe.#that would actually be sick as hell I think.#zero desire to pierce my dick cause I don't want it at all so the less attention it gets the better#anyway. done rambling for now.
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arolesbianism · 3 months
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Y'know I know I've said like a billion times I don't want to know shit abt Jackie's past but erm. Hi klei. Please just tell me if Josephine and Alan are her parents or some miscellaneous relative this is so important. Did Jackie seriously come from a household with a colonel and another person with a doctorate or does she just happen to be related to them this is so important for how I decide to move forward with my Jackie hcs and with my aus in general I need to know so bad tell me right fucking now
#rat rambles#oni posting#dude I was so sure that I didnt want to know anything abt Jackie's family situation but now I sure as hell fucking do#also if they are her parents then that'd mean she'd have a sibling named jonathan. and god of fucking course she would#my version of a jackie brother may be off in the wind but I would love a new one that she actually gets to have met this time#also to be clear the doctorate + colonel parent situation that Im desperate to know if I can act on is so perfect for jackie#like oh yeah of fucking course shed be a military kid why didnt I think of that first#back in my original hcs she had a brother who was an adult when she was born and was a part of the army#so in my minds eye this adds up perfectly and would to me explain a lot abt her#also the idea that j names run in the family is so fucking stupid I love it#also the fact that her maybe brother named their child after her is making me sick dont do that no child deserves that </3#the fact that its a middle name honestly makes it worse to me lol#god. god those 3 radio logs man. it makes me wonder so so hard#I doubt well get to fully know what happened there but if the colonel is her parent and theyre the same as the tragedy averted log mentions#then we suddenly have a situation in which the possibility of jackie having been involved in at best seriously threatening her parent or at#least relative's well saftey is a very real interpretation of these currently available logs#and I find that soooo fucking fascinating#now again that might not be the case as we just dont know enough#but as of now its a very real possibility and its one that excites me#the idea of jackie being willing to risk the life of a relative like that for the sake of sabotaging a rival and doing a publicity stunt#absolutely rules and I am in love with the concept go girlie go murder your maybe parent#also if I may discuss the timeline matters here shit is looking fucking wild#dude we now have an id that starts with x. like holy shit what the fuck#like there's a world where it's just a weird way of reacting it but like I genuinely dont know#could we be seeing some genuine late state gravitas shenanigans over here?#oh also we got another nikola mention lets goooo#also we have So many more rando names now and this is just with the logs we do have#we have the jackie relatives along with the inlaws mentioned in the same email ofc but we also have harold's son calvin and the x id#scientist I mentioned before b. boson#now boson actually is a potential dupe donor candidate considering we do in fact have a free b dupe to work with (<- is shaking violently)
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s4pphoiduser · 7 months
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the worst part of falling out with people and becoming distant from the people you used to spend day-in and day-out with is not actually the distance or the absence. it's actually when your life slows down and you get a quiet moment and suddenly you're thinking about them, thinking hey, do you still think of me too? and it's wondering if your friendship could've been fixed if you had just been different, more...not you. it's knowing that sometimes you can't help but think back to moments and memories from years and years past, the ones where you smiled together and the ones where they'd hurt you without knowing or caring. you think about the hurt they caused you and you call them ex-friend and they're a part of your life forever because of it but they don't care anymore, they don't care enough to put you in any one category, and they don't care enough to ever really think about you again.
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juleswritesstuff · 4 months
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Starving
Basically, just Theo being the munch that he is.
theodore nott x fem!reader
warnings: smut
Enjoy💗
You had always hated Herbology with a deep passion.
Not the plants per se, those were rather fascinating to observe, but did they really need to have such a vast variety of species ? Was it actually necessary ?
Apparently it was, or Mrs Sprout wouldn't have given you a whole 600 words essay to write on every type of mandrake known to man.
Those screaming little things got on your nerves, and you could barely understand what the professor was talking about while tending to them. Hence, you were finding it extremely difficult to complete that paper.
The door of your dorm room suddenly opened and you had to restrain a curse from slipping through gritted teeth.
You had really hoped to not get interrupted.
Apparently your prayers weren't heard.
“You busy, dolcezza ?” (sweetie)
A more than familiar voice reached your ears. You lifted your eyes from your paper and they landed on none other than Theodore Nott, who was standing right in front of your door, now closed again, with a faint smirk plastered on his face. 
You rolled your eyes. You knew that little grin all too well.
“Kind of, yeah” you replied, your attention going back to the paper in front of you as you started scribbling again with your quill “Aren't you ? Have you already finished your essay ?” you asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“Just turned it in, so I have some time to kill” he said with that cocky attitude of his.
Infuriating and charming at the same time, truly unfair.
“Good for you, then. I don't, so if you could leave me to it, it would be much appreciated” you said as a forced smile curved your lips.
“Oh, come on. You don't even have a little time ? Per me ?” he asked, tilting his head slightly to the side with the most innocent expression he could master. (For me ?)
Which didn't work because his eyes screamed trouble.
Theo looked like an angel with his brown hair curled in soft locks and eyes as blue as the ocean, although dead and emotionless looking.
Actually, he was the devil in disguise. Especially when he acted all coy like this.
“No Theo, I really don't have time for your little antics today” you said huffing.
‘His little antics’ being eating you out till tears rolled down your cheeks and your mascara was smudged and unsalvageable. 
You and Theo were ‘friends’. You got along just fine, you talked, and you bickered like there was no tomorrow. It was part of your friendship, the teasing, the little harmless jokes. It was routine for the two of you.
What was also routine was the flirting. 
Shameless and obvious flirting.
You never thought it would lead anywhere. You were so used to the little Italian endearments he gave you and the ever present smirk on his lips that you didn't really think anything of it.
Until one night, after one of the biggest parties that Slytherin had ever thrown, you ended up in his bed, with him between your legs eating you out like his life depended on it.
You didn't even know how you found yourself in that situation, you just knew that you hadn't minded one bit.
You ended up with shaky legs and a dizzy brain just by his tongue alone.
Saying that you didn't mind it would've been an euphemism.
The day after was awkward as hell, but you both were too direct and honest to not deal with the weird atmosphere immediately.
So you decided to add some…privileges to your relationship. 
You discovered Theo had quite an oral fixation. 
He needed to keep his mouth occupied with something.
Cigarettes were a great way to keep his mouth busy, but they were extremely damaging for his health.
You didn't mean to make him stop smoking, you knew it would've been basically impossible, and, if you had to be completely honest with yourself, he looked so damn hot with those death traps between his lips, but you wanted to at least try to reduce the amount of nicotine that went into his body.
And what better way than to bribe him with the second thing he loved the most in the world ?
Eating you out seemed to be his favorite hobby.
Anytime he felt the need to light one cigarette more than necessary he came to you, with that sinful smirk on his lips and the hottest ‘fuck me’ eyes he could master.
And who were you to say no ? 
You had proposed the deal in the first place.
Plus, he was amazing at it too. The way his tongue worked on your cunt definitely felt like ascending to heaven.
But now you really didn't have the time.
“I'm not here because I feel like smoking, Y/n” he said walking up to you and stopping in front of the desk, leaning forward a little as he supported his weight with his hands on the table. 
You made the mistake of lifting your eyes from the parchment and locking them with his. His gaze was magnetic. Once those pools of stormy sea caught you, you couldn't escape.
“Then why are you here ?” you asked, raising your eyebrows.
“Cause I'm starving, bambolina” he uttered with the calmest and most unaffected tone in his voice. (babydoll)
You narrowed your eyes.
“Then you should be in the kitchen to solve that little problem, don't you think ?” you asked rhetorically, eyes going back to focus on the parchment in front of you.
You heard him scoff, and suddenly he was leaning so much closer.
Your head was still hung low, trying to write that damn essay, but his presence was distracting as hell and you couldn't help but shiver when he leaned to whisper in your ear.
“You're right, that would be the perfect solution if I was hungry for food” he stopped and you could feel the teasing smile plastered on his face.
“But all I'm craving is you and that pretty little cunt of yours, so I don't think the kitchen elves could really help me with that”
You wished you could say his words didn't affect you, you really wished.
But the sudden warmth on your cheeks and the unconscious clench of your legs told another story.
You really didn't have time for this, but your body was craving him and his touch like crazy, and you weren't sure you would've been able to focus if you didn't feel his tongue working its wonders on you.
So you sighed and pushed the chair you were sitting on a bit farther away from the desk, enough to take your knickers off and throw them somewhere behind you, then you sat back, your skirt still covering you up until your mid thighs.
His eyes darkened with lust.
“Make it quick, I have an essay to finish” you said, faking indifference.
On the inside you were burning alive.
“Quick ? It's like you don't know me at all, dolcezza” he said with a scoff as he sank to his knees, crawling until he was right in front of you.
His gaze locked in yours as his hands made contact with the bare skin of your legs, caressing them gently, tenderly.
“I'll take my sweet time with you. Ora fai la brava and open those gorgeous legs for me” you hated how fast you complied, but with the way he was looking at you you really couldn’t help yourself. (Now be good) 
He lifted your skirt and he leaned forward.
As soon as his tongue made contact with your folds you melted.
You choked out a whimper, and you could feel him smirk right against your groin.
"Wipe that grin off your face, Nott, I'm only -ah fuck, I'm only doing it because you begged me” you said as he kept lapping at your core with his tongue, wrapping his lips around your clit to give it a gentle suck.
The moan that rippled out of you was almost pornographic.
“Piccola bugiarda, you know that's not true. You're doing it because you want it too” he moved his mouth from your cunt to your thighs, giving feather light kisses on the sensitive skin. (Little liar)
“You're so wet, you didn't think I would notice ?” he asked with that fucking cocky attitude that made you go crazy.
“Shut up and put that mouth to a better use” you said, but the bite in your voice was definitely toned down by the urgency and neediness of having his mouth back where you needed him the most.
His head tilted to the side as he leaned back just the tiniest bit.
“What's with the attitude, uh ?”
“No, no, no, -shit Theo. Come back here” you said, almost whining.
He was too far, and you needed him.
You needed him closer, way fucking closer.
“E come si dice ?” he teased, his eyes were dark and fogged up by lust and hunger. (And what do you say ?)
“Fuck, why do you always want me to beg ?” you asked, defeated. He leaned forward again, his breath hovering right above the tender skin as you clenched around nothing, feeling the loss of his tongue.
“Because it's fun, I love it when you beg me with that sweet mouth of yours. Plus I like seeing you flustered” he said as he started to kiss every inch and nook of your most sensitive area, avoiding where you really wanted him to.
You wanted to curse so bad, but you knew that was not what he wanted, what he needed.
“Theo -fuck. Please Theo, just touch me. Please” you surrendered, your voice whiny and broken, until a melody of moans and whimpers started to ripple out of your lips as soon as his mouth met your folds again.
And this time he didn’t stop.
He lapped at your juices like a starved man enjoying his meal for the first time in days.
He licked, and sucked, and kissed every centimeter, every inch of tender skin like he was born to do that.
Your hands buried in his soft brown locks and you tugged at them unconsciously after a particularly good roll of his tongue made you see stars.
“Cazzo, se continui così verrò nei pantaloni porca puttana” he said, hissing. His mouth kept working wonders on your cunt, his groans creating delicious vibrations on your clit. (Fuck, if you keep this up I'll come in my pants, holy shit)
“Ancora” he said between ravenous licks and delicate, teasing sucks, guttural moans leaving his lips. (Again)
“What ?” you asked, lost in pleasure. Your little knowledge of the Italian language became nonexistent when he was busy making you cry on his tongue.
“Again, baby. You know i fucking love it” he says, mouthing the words right against your core.
And so you obeyed, tugging at his hair again, a little rougher, a little harder.
A low groan left his lips.
You were close, you were so fucking close.
“Shit, Theo, baby” you moaned out loud, the term of endearment completely slipping out.
Theo seemed to notice, because he started to go faster, tongue flicking desperately at your folds.
Your breath got caught in your lungs, your ears rang and your sight turned black as you got hit by pleasure.
The hand on his hair kept Theo close as you rode your orgasm on his tongue.
He lapped at your juices carefully, to not overstimulate you, leaving sweet butterfly kisses on your thighs, worshiping the skin with his lips.
Once your breathing started to go back to normal and your sight was not blurry from the pleasure anymore you looked at him.
He was still kneeling in front of you, a teasing smile tugging at his lips as his eyes focused on your face.
“You look quite disheveled, principessa” he said with a chuckle, pride oozing from his features for reducing you in that state. All fucked out and breathless. (princess)
“Oh, yeah ? And whose fault is that ?” you asked in mocking shock, but you couldn't help a chuckle from escaping your lips.
“And you're one to talk” you added as you took in his appearance. His eyes were still quite foggy and unfocused, his hair a mess from all the tugging, and his lips.
Oh, his lips. Red and shiny with your essence and the tiniest bit swollen.
He looked too fucking good to be true.
You knew you folded too easily when Theo was involved, but you couldn’t help it.
“I told you I was starving, you underestimated my eagerness to fucking devour you” he said with a shrug, wetting his lips to savor your taste once again, like his words didn’t make you feel like you were catching fire.
That mouth of his was a menace, physically and metaphorically.
“I’m never gonna be able to finish this stupid essay now” you said almost desperately.
He laughed at your pathetic whining, but it was a warm laugh, not one made to mock you but one that was closer to endearment.
“Was it so good that it melted your brain off ?” he asked with that cocky grin of his.
You looked at him with a deadpan expression.
“Your overly confident attitude never fails to amaze me, Theodore Nott '' you said with a chuckle. You straightened your posture on the chair, smoothing out all the wrinkles that he had left from fisting your skirt and holding on for dear life to keep your hips still.
“Now I don’t want to kick you out, but I really need to finish this”
“No need for that, tesoro, I’ll leave you to it. Wouldn’t want to distract you too much” he said, getting back up on his feet and tucking a rebellious strand of your hair behind your ear.
“See you at dinner ?” he asked. 
You simply nodded your head yes.
His hand was still gently caressing your cheek, the pads of his fingers were as light as a feather as they danced on your skin.
His eyes were locked in yours, and you had no idea of what was happening.
Until his fingers reached your chin, tilting your head up the slightest bit. 
Then he leaned in.
For the first time since you had started this ‘arrangement’ his lips met yours.
And they were sweeter than you thought, gentle, but there was an undertone of hunger, of neediness that you couldn’t ignore.
He tasted of nicotine and butter beer, bittersweet and addicting.
His lips were slightly chapped but you couldn’t care less about it as his tongue swiped on your bottom lip, his teeth grazing at it gently right after as he carefully bit the plump skin.
He pulled back slowly and you were left speechless.
He just chuckled at your wide eyes and agape mouth.
“Good luck on your essay, ok ? I’ll see you tonight” he left a quick kiss on your cheek before storming out of the door with a smile on his face.
Your thoughts were all over the place, because what the hell had just happened ?
Did Theodore Nott just kiss you ?
Something a little different from my usual marauders content, but he's been stuck in brain for weeks now, and I couldn't help myself 😔
And honestly, as an Italian girl, I really think Lorenzo Zurzolo should be classified as a national treasure, thank you for coming to my ted talk.
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whitexwolfxx310 · 4 months
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|| Baby Mine ||
Pairing: Bucky x female reader || Bucky x y/n
Summary: Bucky comes home from from a mission and finds you sick. You make an appointment at the medical bay expecting a routine visit only to find out some pretty surprising news.
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, minor talk of options pertaining to, morning sickness, a disgusting amount of fluff, and a small sprinkle of spice at the end just because I felt like it.
Word Count: 3323
A/Ns: First and foremost, I would like to apologize for my hiatus. It was not intended and I hit a writers block. With that being said, I do have a decent amount in my drafts and have been working on getting some new things out there!
I would like to say a special thank you to @lil-darhk who gave me some encouraging words that I really needed to hear & helped get me back on here. ♥️
This is a ONE SHOT. This is not part of my BBWWS. I am still working on that but this is something I have been thinking of for a while and just felt like writing about. I know that a pregnancy troupe is not for everyone. (Personally, I love it and I'm not sure if I will write it into my other storyline.) SO because of that....I give you this. I hope you all enjoy it because the idea of Daddy Bucky to me is just 🤌🏻💋
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Waking up to the smell of fresh ground coffee was always a tall tale sign of Bucky being home. Missions can be unpredictable. He can be gone for a few days, to a few weeks, and sometimes even months at a time. Luckily, this time he had only been gone about a month and a half.
Excitement took over as you forego your usual procrastinating in bed stretch to run out of the bedroom. Opening the door, the aroma was heavenly- as if a coffee shop had replaced your kitchen overnight. But your eyes immediately fixed on Bucky who was wearing a smirk while plating two separate stacks of pancakes.
“Breakfast, doll?” His voice as smooth as the warm syrup flowing down from those pancake stacks.
Running and jumping to wrap your arms around his neck was your response. Bucky chuckled, holding both arms out wider so he didn’t drop the plates. He put them down gently onto the counter so that his arms would now be only consumed with you.
“I missed you too.” You don’t have to look up from being buried in his chest to know that he’s smiling, it’s in the lighthearted tone of his voice.
Leaning back slightly with his arms still holding you, he looks into your eyes and plants a petal soft kiss on your lips.
“How come you didn’t wake me up when you got in?” You frown slightly looking up at him.
He shakes his head slightly and shrugs, “You just looked so… peaceful. I couldn’t bare to wake you up. At least, not without sustenance,” Bucky laughs.
Shifting your eyes from Bucky to the pancakes and back, your lips tug in each corner. “Smart man.”
His cooking always felt like home. It was filling, delicious, and you could almost taste the love it was made it with. “Mm,” the small noise escapes low in your throat as you take the last bite. Looking across the kitchen table, Bucky is slumped in his chair, arms folded with a warm smile as he watches you. “What?” The question comes out as a half joke and half concern.
Shaking his head slightly the smile grew. “Nothing, doll. Just missed you is all.” Leaning forward, Bucky rests his elbows on the table continuing to stare a tad bit more than normal.
“You’re acting weird.” You say, adjusting in your seat feeling slightly awkward.
“So what have you been up to while I was away?” He completely ignored your statement, asking an easy and lighthearted question.
“Um..” you start, breakfast starting to feel suddenly heavy in your stomach. “I uh-“ your teeth start to clench down as you swallow hard at the pooling saliva in your mouth. “I went out with Nat-“ your brows furrowed, starting to have difficulty with getting the words out. Bucky’s face quickly contorts to concern as you continue to fight the inevitable. “and her sister for some…s-some drinks-“ the word makes you gag.
Almost as if you channeled some super soldier serum, you pushed back from the table and ran- praying that the pressure of your hand over your mouth will be enough insurance to get to the toilet. It barely was. Breakfast came back up violently, loudly as you kneeled in front of the porcelain king. Even when you thought there couldn’t possibly be anything else to throw up, your stomach wrung on itself, forcing up every last drop of bile.
Breathing heavily into the bowl, skin now glistening with cooling sweat, you realize that your hair has been pulled out of your face. Your eyesight, now no longer blurry, sees Bucky sitting next to you; his right hand holding your hair back in a make shift ponytail and his left hand on the nape of your neck, the coolness of his metal hand being your favorite thing in the world at the moment.
“I’m sorry…” your sob echoed lightly in the toilet. “I’ve never been hung over like this before,” you sit back on your knees, grabbing some tissues to wipe your mouth. You bring yourself to look up at him through hooded and puffy red eyes, feeling instantly embarrassed. Bucky gives you a small reassuring smile as his hand gently rubs up and down your back.
“I’ve had the Russians drink me under the table a few times too. C’mon…” He helps you off of the floor, “let’s get you cleaned up.”
A warm bath, some fresh comfy clothes and a plain cup of tea seemed to make the nausea subside.
“I knew I shouldn’t have drank last night,” you say, looking into the lightly steaming mug. “My stomach hasn’t felt right in a few weeks. I actually have an appointment this afternoon in the medical bay, but I didn’t know you would be home. I can cancel it-”
“What time is your appointment?” He cuts you off,
“Um,” you look towards the wall and squint at the clock. “Actually in 45 minutes,” you laugh softly at the realization.
“Do you want me to go with you?” He offers.
“And miss your debriefing? Why, Sargent Barnes, that’s highly unlike you.” Even with not feeling great you can’t help but give him shit. This is the normal
Shaking his head softly he lets out a small laugh. “Alright,” he puts his hands up in a surrendering gesture, “but call me if anything comes up, okay? I’m worried about you.” Bucky’s voice is soft and sincere as he leans in and plants a small kiss on your forehead. His eyes hesitate, locking on yours for a moment. Leaning back in, he presses his lips to yours. “I love you. So much,”
“Love you more, Bucky.” You smile back up at him.
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Sitting on the exam table in nothing but a medical gown, you swing your legs gently back and forth while gently nibbling the tip of your thumb as you wait for the provider.
You jump at the sudden knock at the door. In walks the new physicians assistant for The Compound, a young and beautiful woman who looked like she was straight out of school.
“Hi! My names Bree and I’ll be working with you today. According to the nurse who did your intake, you’re here for-“ she scrolls through your electronic chart on a tablet, “some abdominal issues. Tell me about that,” she sits down on a stool, listening intently.
“It’s.. really not a big deal,” you start, she keeps quiet waiting for you to explain in more detail. “I don’t know,” you start to fumble with a few loose strands of hair. “I’ve just felt this sort of… heaviness? It hasn’t gone away and is just always sort of there?” Your voice is unsure, feeling self conscious as you describe this silly little symptom that you felt the need to make an appointment for. “This morning I got sick. Well, I went out drinking last night, so I’m assuming I’m a little hung over.” Your words start to sound like your rambling.
“Hmm,” Bree says in response. “When was your last period?”
“Um,” the gears start turning in your head as you try to backdate events, plans that had been interrupted because of aunt flow. “About 4 months ago?” It probably wasn’t on purpose, but you could see the clinicians eyebrow raise a centimeter in question. “It’s not what you think!” You quickly try to defend, “I’m on the pill! My periods have always been irregular which is part of the reason I’m on birth control in the first place.”
“Okay,” she responds, skeptical. “And you take the pill religiously?”
“Yes,”
“Everyday?”
“Yeah…”
“At the same time?” Bree’s eyebrow inclines just a little more.
“Well,” now she has you questioning everything that you’ve said. “I always have an alarm on my phone and try to take it the same time everyday.” That makes you feel better, justified.
“Have you been sick recently? Aside from this morning, any need for any prescriptions, antibiotics?”
“I had bronchitis, but that was… god months ago?”
“Okay,” she says flatly, “so we’ll just go ahead and do a minor work up to see if we can figure out what’s going on. The first thing I want to do though, is a pregnancy test.” Even though you could feel your face change, Bree quickly added, “Routine stuff. It’s one of the bases that we always cover early on.”
You suddenly become hyper focused on the urine sample you left on the counter top, as asked by the nurse. Bree takes out a small, flat test from a nearby drawer and uses a pipette to transfer the fluid.
It could have been 30 seconds or 20 minutes, but the idea that pregnancy was even a remote possibility has your insides feeling like they’re folding in on themselves.
“Okay so,” Bree starts, getting your attention. “The test did in fact, come out positive. Since your cycles have been irregular, I’d like to do an ultrasound to see how far along you are and then we can talk about options. Just go ahead and lay back on the table, feet in the stirrups.”
"Positive?" You repeat. "But... What? How?" It comes out breathless.
"Well, sometimes antibiotics can actually cancel out the effects of birth control. We try to advise women to not be sexually active as the body might seize the opportunity to ovulate and result in an unplanned pregnancy. How about we just take a look and go from there, okay?" Bree says just a little too cheerfully as she pats the stirrups.
Following her directions is the only thing you’re able to focus on. Going through the motions of laying down, putting your feet up and opening your legs. Bree’s voice is a murmur mixed with a high pitch ringing as you look up at the ceiling tiles, counting each spect while she sets up the portable sono machine.
“Just a little pressure,” she says, guiding the wand like probe, looking at the screen. “Okay. So, judging from the size… I’d say you’re close to about 9 weeks, give or take a bit. Do you want to hear the heartbeat?” She asks, sweetly. And it’s the first time you’re able to look at her since lying down. Bree patiently waits for your answer with a warm smile. You reluctantly nod your head.
The room fills with soft, muffled whooshing. “It’s so fast. I-is that okay? Is everything okay?” You’re searching her face for any hint of something being wrong. In return, Bree just nods gently as she keeps her smile, still examining the screen.
“A fetus’ heartbeat is a lot quicker than ours. Everything looks perfect actually. Would you… like to see?”
“Yes, please.” You didn't hesitate with your answer this time.
The screen gets tilted towards you and your eyes start darting all around looking for the baby. Your baby. At first you don't see anything. It doesn't look like photos you've seen on Instagram of pregnancy announcements. But then, in the middle of what looks like a black balloon, is a bean with limbs. In the center of this bean is a lively flicker. Bree uses her index finger to point to the screen.
"There's the fetus' arms and legs," she points to the extremities, "and here," her finger gently taps on the pulsing center, "is the heart."
The whooshing matches the pace of the flicker; lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub. Hearing the heartbeat in synch with the pulsing on the screen causes your own heartbeat to match for a moment.
So this is love.
After a moment, Bree removes the probe and rips a paper from the ultrasound machine. "Here's some pictures for you," she hands them to you as you sit up on the bed. "I want to see you back here in three weeks for another check up... unless you want to discuss other options?" You shake your head. "Do you have any questions for me?"
“No, not right now.” You’re solely focused on the pictures now in your hand. Even though the image is burned into your brain, holding a physical copy has some how made it more real.
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The rest of the afternoon was a whirlwind. There was no possible way that you’re actually pregnant. Even with the new noticeable symptoms and bathroom counter littered in double pink lined tests, it still seemed so unbelievable. That’s not even the hardest part. How am I going to tell Bucky?
Just as the reality starts to set in of having to tell the other adult who is directly involved, the front door to the apartment opens.
"Hey, doll!" Bucky calls loudly from the hallway, the thumping of his boots following his voice. "Sorry that the meeting ran late. I figured we could order in tonight. What about that Thai place you like?" He waits for a response while buzzing around the kitchen, no doubt making himself coffee for the dozenth time today. "Doll?" The question echoes through the quiet apartment.
"I'm in here," you acknowledge softly from the living room couch. Bucky pokes his head out from the hallway, breathing a sigh of relief.
"There you are," he starts walking towards you. "If you tell me what you would like for dinner, I'll call it in and then-" his voice and steps stop abruptly. "Hey... you okay?"
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay." You answer, obviously distracted.
"That doesn't sound too convincing," Bucky hesitated, looking you over and taking a few steps closer.
"I-I have to tell you something." Your tone is soft, scared. You’re fidgeting with the edges of your sweater sleeves.
“Is it something the doctor said?” His voice is softer now, reluctant and afraid. While his piercing, cerulean blue eyes continue to search yours for the answer, wide and terrified.
“I-“
Should I have gotten balloons? Made him open a box with one of the pregnancy tests or a cute onesie inside? Bake a damn cake?
“Y/n?!” Bucky didn’t yell but definitely had to get your attention. “You’re scaring me. What’s going on?!” He pleaded. Why were the words so difficult to say? Maybe because it hasn’t been said out loud yet. Or that it’s still so shocking. Or maybe that verbalizing it will just make it that more real. You turn on your heels and run to the bathroom.
“Y/n!!” He calls after you, but you know he’ll be just a few steps behind.
Picking up a handful of the positive tests off of the vanity counter with your heartbeat pounding in your ears in combination with his heavy footsteps getting closer.
“Seriously! What is going on-“ Bucky is flustered as he steps into the entryway and stops abruptly at the sight of you facing him, holding the tests fanned out.
“I’m pregnant.” There it is. You’re holding your breath, waiting to see what he’ll say. Aside from contraceptives, you’ve never had any kind of discussions pertaining to a family.
His face softens as he takes a step forward, his eyes hyper fixated on all the double pink lines. Bucky’s chest rises and falls deeply now. “You’re… pregnant? Not sick?” He asks to clarify, being cautious.
“Morning sickness, apparently”, a small laugh escapes and it surprises you. “But other than that, I’m fine. We’re fine.”
The ‘we’re’ part catches his attention. He’s looking into your eyes once again, searching. But, for what?
“Is this… something you want? With… me?” He suddenly sounds so adolescent and anxious. Who can blame him? This took you both completely by surprise. Knowing Bucky, he would support you in whatever you wanted. Whatever decision you thought was best for you, your body, your health in every aspect, he would respect and advocate for. He is being cautious with his response to the news until he knows what your decision is.
Putting the tests down, you take both of his hands into yours and take a deep breath.
“Bucky, if you had asked me this morning, I wouldn’t have known what our future would hold. But knowing what I know now… I want this baby. I want to be a mom and for us to be a family. That being said, I know that this is something that we never talked about. If this isn’t something you want, I underst-“
You’re suddenly cut off by his lips pressing into yours. It feels like a weight has been lifted as Bucky’s arms gently wrap around you to bring you closer. Kissing becomes increasingly difficult around giggles and the obnoxiously big smiles you’re both wearing.
When your lips finally part, Bucky’s eyebrows are raised in excitement. His eyes are darting around your torso as if the news would suddenly show physical changes on your body.
“I can’t believe it…” he breathes, “I actually get the chance to be a Dad-” The word comes out almost as a choked sob. My heart.
Reaching into your back pocket, you pull out the ultrasound Bree had given to you earlier, holding it up for him to see.
"Look, our baby's first photo!"
Bucky takes the picture as gently as if someone were handing him an actual newborn baby. He just stares, probably confused as to what he was looking at similarly to you just a few hours ago.
"I know it doesn't really look like anything right now- but I go back in a few weeks and-"
"Are you kidding?" He looks up from the black and white photo to meet your eyes, a watery sheen coating his own. "This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life." Bucky says softly, as if to himself, looking back down at the picture. And he's smiling. A genuine, heartfelt smile.
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That night was the closest he had ever held you in his arms. The two of you made up for lost conversations and started planning for your future and what it held as you laid in bed. Bucky talked about how he wanted to build a crib instead of buying one and was curious what the appropriate amount of time was to wait until you could both start telling everyone. Excitement was an understatement for this man.
"Can I go with you to your next appointment?" He asked, in a hopeful tone as his fingers traced along smooth, soft circles around your belly button. You giggle, wincing at one specific caress.
"Hey! That tickles! But, of course you can. You can come to all of them. I was... kinda hoping you would?" In return, your tone holds the same anticipation.
"I wouldn't miss it." Bucky's palm flattens against your belly as he places a kiss against your temple.
"Don't get used to that," You say looking down. "We're going to start growing and getting bigger any day now." You fake a frown, although there is a small part of you that isn't necessarily faking.
"Hmm." A low hum vibrates from the back of Bucky's throat as he shifts his body down along yours.
His fingertips skim the hem of your sleep shirt before pulling it up and exposing your stomach. The coolness of the air makes your abdomen tighten, but is soon replaced with petal soft kisses. "When you say 'grow', I hope you mean grow more beautiful by the day." Each firm press of his lips feels like its igniting your skin on fire with the newfound sensitivity. Your toes start to dig down into the mattress.
"Because, y/n..." Bucky repositions himself onto his knees, one now conveniently pressed in-between your legs. The pressure alone makes your heart rate spike and has you borderline panting. He hovers over you, "There isn't anything in this world I find more beautiful or more attractive than my girl carrying my child." He holds your gaze, intense and primal- more than you've ever seen.
"Do you understand?" Bucky asks with a raised brow. You nod hastily and he grins in response. "Good girl. Now, let's see if those rumors about hyper sensitivity are true. Judging by how you're writhing under me and the wet spot on my knee... I'm really going to enjoy the next few months."
If you enjoyed this, please check out my masterlist! Requests are open!
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annacaffeina · 2 months
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Where the hell did this idea of the West, and primarily the U.S. dismantling the country of Israel even come from?? It's so fuckin puzzling to me! How did so many people decide simultaneously that the U.S. can and should do this?? It's completely insane! It entirely ignores reality! It's bonkers to me that so many people look at the very serious, genuine humanitarian crisis and come to the conclusion "what if a big part of this problem simply wasn't real" and then act like that's a real policy plan. It's delusional. It's magical thinking. "Well, we'll just get the U.S. to make it not real." What kind of logic is that? If that were even possible would you want that to be how you encourage the US to behave? Just erasing countries? Like a magical wizard? Have you thought this through At All?? There are some actual facts that are simply just facts, and one of those facts is that there is a country called Israel. It just is! I feel insane! I feel like, for instance, I'm looking at Chicago and asking if we should do something about gun violence and everyone around me keeps saying "all I see is a weird metal bean and a half constructed condor rehab center" and no matter how many times I say "It's Chicago! It's right there! You can see it!" they just look at me like I'm the crazy one and keep talking about one bean, empty fields, and half a construction project. I'm a little envious tbh. It must be nice to have a solution so easily in front of you and not have to worry about reality. It's like someone going on CNN and saying with a straight face "Ukraine could defeat Russia in a week if Ukraine were allowed to put their giant dragons and their best orcs all along the border, but you know how the West feels about other countries having dragons" and then everyone just sadly shook their head about how Ukraine can't use their best dragons. It's whackanut. And yet all at once bunches and bunches of people, theoretically empathetic and logical people started talking about making a full country just disappear like david fuckin copperfield. Like there isn't a full on country Right There that can easily be seen. Like some kind of collective delusion. What the fuck happened?!?! How did we get here? Where is anyone's basic grasp of reality??? How did this bullshit delusion suddenly just sprout the fuck out??
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maruflix · 1 month
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  — ★ LIKE OIL AND WATER
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☆ — “NO WAY, CAPTAIN NARUMI, YOU WATCH KAIJU SLAYER TOO?!”
FEATURING: Narumi Gen x f!reader x Hoshina Soshiro
SYNOPSIS: Nobody, not even the gossipmongers of the Third Division, can predict Vice-Captain Hoshina’s sudden interest in you. Unluckily for him, a certain Captain of the First Division proves himself to be a tough rival.
CONTENT: [3,3k words] female reader, reader is a platoon leader in the first division, pining narumi (idiot version), hoshina is a menace (no like, seriously), some iNnuEndOs🫣, manga version so hoshina has red eyes, the dumb idiots of the third division, more of narumi and hoshina fighting over you, no beta we die like kikoru’s mom
PART ONE: LIKE CATS AND DOGS
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“Stop! I’m gonna die!”
“No, you’re not.”
“I am! Slow down, will you?! I don’t think I can... ah—”
“Huh? You’re so wet...”
“How can I not be wet when the boss is literally a gigantic drop of water?!”
“Yeah, no wonder you almost died. I’m using an electric type character so you’ll also take damage if you’re wet.”
You furiously tap at your screen, trying to avoid the barrage of attacks from both the boss and your oblivious teammate. “Whatever! Stop using your skills, I’m gonna die...!!” As if on cue, your character does a little fainting effect and drops on the ground as the screen flashes red. “Ah... I’m dead.”
Narumi Gen lets out a disbelieved ‘haaah?’ before leaning over to glance at your phone, chuckling. “You suck at this.”
You glare at him. “Then don’t play with me!”
“Aww, don’t get so pouty, I told you I like playing with you.” There’s a surprising honesty in his voice as he smirks at you. “Anyway, don’t you feel cold?”
Now that he mentions it, you are cold. For some odd reason, Narumi’s room is always kept at freezing temperatures, one would think he’s using it to store meat.
He moves faster than you can reply. With one swift motion, he grabs the covers from his bed and drapes it over you.
“C-Captain Narumi!”
He grins and flicks your forehead gently. “I told you to drop the honorifics when we’re alone. Why are you calling me ‘Captain Narumi’ again?”
“Y-you don’t need to...! Your covers will get dirty!”
He shrugs before rolling on his stomach and lifting the remaining covers over his own body. “It’s fine, I do this all the time.”
At a loss for words, you can only gape at him. You’re well aware that this is a weird dynamic to have with your superior. Sometimes you feel guilty to be on the receiving end of Narumi’s obvious affection when he acts like a total prick to his other subordinates, but even the Vice-Captain himself assures you that everyone is just glad that you’re there to put him on a leash.
Meanwhile, the root cause of the problem is totally unaware, already engrossed in his game. “You want my help to defeat the newest boss, right? Let’s go.” He finally speaks, running a hand to sweep back his bangs as he tilts his head to look at you.
You bite your lip and look away. Literally everyone in the force (including you) knows that Narumi Gen is a handsome man, but lately you’ve started to notice him more. “I should probably get some sleep or I’ll be too tired for morning training.”
Narumi grunts. “So what? I always let you off.”
You’re once again rendered speechless. It’s true; whenever your movements get sloppy during morning trainings, he always pretends not to see anything (before proceeding to scold another person for falling behind).
— But to think that he’d actually admit to giving preferential treatments out loud!
“Y-you shouldn’t do that, you know!”
“Who cares? We always train together after that anyway.”
You look away, hoping the darkness of his room is enough to mask your embarrassment. “Whatever,” Scrambling to change the topic, you added, “I wonder what Hoshina is doing right now.”
“Haaah?! Why are you suddenly mentioning that guy?!”
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Hoshina Soshiro sneezes just as he’s about to enter the shared bath. ‘I must’ve trained too hard...’ he thinks to himself, rubbing his nose lightly.
After a long day of exterminating kaiju, he’s always looking forward to soak in the hot water. He slings a towel over his shoulder and steps in, only to see that it’s already crowded inside. Hibino Kafka, Ichikawa Reno, Furuhashi Iharu, Izumo Haruichi, and Kaguragi Aoi nearly jump out the bath as he slides the door open, acting like he’s caught them in the middle of murdering someone.
Hoshina blinks in confusion as the men instantly tries to act like nothing’s wrong. Ichikawa clears his throat awkwardly, Furuhashi and Izumo start whispering to each other, Kaguragi stares at the ceiling like there’s a kaiju stuck up there, and Kafka starts whistling loudly.
“O—kay, what’s going on?”
They immediately backpedal. Ichikawa shoves Hibino so hard that the man nearly stumbles out of the bath. He’s quick to recover as he looks up at his Vice-Captain, clasping his hands in front of his chest.
“Vice-Captain Hoshina...! Tell us the truth!”
Hoshina’s expression immediately blanks.
“What he means is!” Furuhashi interjects, elbowing Hibino away, “We really, really want to know!”
Izumo pushes the two out of his way. “Sorry, Vice-Captain. We were just wondering if you’ve got yourself a girlfriend.” He rubs the back of his neck as the other men nod in response.
“Yes, please tell us!”
Tilting his head, Hoshina wonders where they got such an idea. “Where’s this coming from...?”
“Well.. you’ve been checking your phone a lot and smiling at it...” Ichikawa answers in a small voice.
Hoshina blinks in mild surprise. Now that he thinks about it, he has been checking his phone a lot lately to see if he’s gotten a new message from you. The way you chat is as adorable as the way you act in real life, so he supposes he might have been smiling once or twice... or a couple more times... or maybe everytime...?
Smiling, Hoshina shrugs and hops into the bath. “Maybe, maybe not.”
“Ehh?! What’s with that answer?!” Everyone complains at his vague reply, although no one dares to force him to elaborate.
It’s not like Hoshina has to say anything, though; the smile on his face is answer enough. Oh, they can’t wait to share this with the entirety of the Third Division.
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“You look like shit.”
Narumi almost drops the can on his hand. Turning on his heels, he glares at Hasegawa, who’s standing with his arms crossed, eyeing him from head to toe. “Shut up.”
Hasegawa shakes his head. “Don’t spend all day playing games. Touch some grass, stay hydrated, bathe in the warm sunlight.”
“What am I, a plant?!” He yells as Hasegawa rolls his eyes and disappears out the door.
Opening the can, Narumi sighs and gulps down mouthfuls of coffee. For the first time ever, Hasegawa is wrong. It’s true that he usually spends his day off playing games, but today he has something else planned.
Kaiju Slayer II is playing at the cinemas right now and it’s the perfect opportunity to ask you out. His favorite series and his favorite person — oh, what a perfect day it will be.
One problem persists: how on earth does he go about saying it?! What if you don’t want to go out? What if you see him as a bother? What if you agree just because he’s your superior? (He spent all night staring at his ceiling until sunrise, stressing over the best way to ask you out.)
Just then, he spots you rounding the corner and his heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach. Throwing his empty can on the bin, he’s so close to chickening out but it’s too late — you’re already waving at him, walking over happily — so he watches helplessly, admiring how beautiful you look in casual clothes.
“Morning, Captain Narumi! Or should I call you Gen? It’s our day off, after all!”
Narumi melts at how sweetly his name rolls out your tongue. “Good morning.” He replies softly, “Are you going somewhere?”
You smile brightly at him. “Yes!”
Your cheerful reply makes him regain his confidence. If you’re already planning to go out, surely you’re okay with him tagging along. Mustering his courage, he’s about to pop the question before—
“I’m meeting up with Hoshina!”
Narumi’s world comes crashing down. His words are caught in his throat as he opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water.
Meanwhile, oblivious that you’ve just broken Narumi’s heart in two, you rattle on happily, “To celebrate their new movie, a cafe is doing a collaboration with my favorite show! Hoshina asked me to come with him, I can’t believe he likes that show too! He doesn’t look like the type of guy to watch movies, you know? Oh, anyway, the show is called—”
“Kaiju Slayer.” Narumi finishes, sighing in exasperation.
Your eyes widen. “No way, Captain Narumi, you watch Kaiju Slayer too?!”
Narumi massages his pounding temple.
Damn that Hoshina. Damn him to hell.
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You feel a wave of déjà vu wash over you.
Right now you’re sitting in one of the booth of the bustling cafe, decorated to the nines with the theme of your favorite show. You should be happy, right? Yeah... maybe if you’re not thrown in the middle of a battlefield, squished between Narumi Gen (who’s sulking as he pouts and crosses his arms) and Hoshina Soshiro (who seems slightly interested by the sudden turn of events as he glances at you).
“I’m sorry, Hoshina...” You bow your head at him, “He insists on tagging along...”
Hoshina smiles at you assuringly. “Don’t worry about it! Looking after such a man-child must be so hard on ya, huh?”
“Don’t talk as if I’m not here!” The man-child in question seethes before going back to pouting.
“You look as beautiful as always.” Hoshina has become an expert at ignoring Narumi as he takes in your appearance, his eyes twinkling. “Please excuse me.” He leans in closer and tucks a stray hair behind your ear, letting his fingers linger on your ear just a moment too long.
You forgot how to breathe. Behind you, you can feel a surging tornado going berserk.
“Hands off, Hoshina! You sneaky lizard, you... you...!!”
“You look good as well.” You manage to breathe out, sweeping your gaze shyly over Hoshina’s attire. He’s clad in black — black turtleneck, black trousers, black boots — only his oversized jacket is the color of his hair, a deep dark purple.
He raises a hand to cover his mouth as he chuckles. His jacket moves slightly and you can see the faint outlines of his muscles. That turtleneck does nothing but highlight the shape of his body. You blush harder.
“Hey?! Hellooo?! I’m still here!” Your captain protests behind you, only to be cut off mid-way when a waitress makes her way to your table.
“Welcome to the cafe! Are you ready to or- oh!” She gasps, making all three of you turn to look at her. The waitress’s attention is on Narumi as she beckons her friend over.
“It’s Captain Narumi of the Defense Force!” One of them giggles, “We’re big fans!”
Normally Narumi would be happy to entertain his ‘fans’, but not right now, not in front of you! He can only nod tightly, grimacing as their excitement grows.
“Ohoho? Never took you for a player, Narumi.”
“What’s with you and wanting to make me look bad?! You wanna take this outside?!” Before he can grab Hoshina by his collar and drag him out, more and more people have started to crowd your table, swarming Narumi and asking to take photos with him. You watch in amusement as Narumi gets more and more dismayed. You’re aware that your captain has a lot of fans, but looking at the interaction in real life is quite comical.
Suddenly you feel a tug on your arm. Looking up, you see Hoshina smiling down at you, his eyes shining mischievously as he puts a finger in front of his lips. “Let’s abandon him here, yeah?”
He doesn’t wait for your reply, already speed-walking out of the cafe with a flustered you in tow. You gasp and managed to grab your bag, narrowly missing Narumi’s arm that shoots out to reach for you. “Catch you later, Gen!” Smiling at him apologetically, you take off as his yells are drowned out by the crowd.
Once you’re outside, Hoshina lets go of your arm before slipping his hand down to intertwine it in yours. Your eyes instantly shoots up to meet his own and he laughs. He laughs so beautifully at your obvious astonishment as he grips your hand tighter.
“Let’s lose him here.” He turns his head just as your cheeks explode in crimson to lead you in the direction of a shopping mall. Honestly, at that moment, you’d follow him anywhere.
“Oh? A purikura.” Hoshina suddenly stops, “Wanna take a photo together?”
Smiling, you nod and let him pull you to the photo booth. He excitedly taps on the screen, seemingly unaware that his arms are now pressing on the sides of your body. Your heart is pounding loudly. It takes everything in you not to combust at the close proximity. Somehow, you manage to pose a couple of times.
After stepping outside, Hoshina takes the results and hands you one of it. “We look so cute~” He coos.
Your first few poses are pretty normal, just the two of you smiling directly at the camera. On the next ones, though, you’ve boldly sneaked a peace sign behind Hoshina’s head. He seems to notice it because on the last photo, he is gazing down at you tenderly with a small smile on his face.
“Oops, looks like the camera caught me.” He sees you freeze and places a hand over your own, chuckling to himself. “I can’t help myself. You’re so cute.”
Exhaling, you’re about to tell him to stop teasing you when you see the serious expression on his face. You immediately bite back your tongue.
“’m serious about you,” Hoshina confesses, eyes opening slightly to reveal his gorgeous crimson irises, “so can you give me the pleasure of courting you?”
Being with Hoshina always feels like being whisked to a fairytale. He’s always so gentle, calm, and compassionate — but at that moment, you see the raw passion in his eyes. You can only nod mutely, barely registering his movements as he leans in and pecks your forehead. You blush instantly, slamming your hands to your forehead. “H-huh..?”
Hoshina smiles and takes both of your hands, bringing them down and holding them tight. “Sorry, can’t help myself. You’re so pretty, and-” He dips his head down, the feeling of his breath on your skin making you shiver, “you smell so good.”
His eyes are nothing short of predatory as he leans back to study you. You’re not sure what kind of expression you have on your face but it seems to amuse him because he moves forward, brushing his lips against your neck. “Excuse me,” He whispers before kissing it hotly.
Your mind is short-circuiting, only brought back to reality when he finally pulls away. “Heh, sorry, was that too much?” Tilting his head at your lack of resistance, he chuckles lowly, “Gonna have to speak up if you wanna stop me from doing somethin’, you know? Otherwise you’re gonna make me think you want me to continue.”
That’s the thing — you don’t want him to stop.
“That reminds me... Are you on a first name basis with Narumi?” Hoshina hides his irritation well, but this time you can see his annoyance slip through. “You’re gonna have to start calling me Soshiro from now on.”
It’s like you’ve been hit by a combo, a chain attack; first the confession, then the forehead kiss, then the—
Hoshina brings his lips to whisper in your ear. “So? Do it, call me Soshiro.”
If you are in a game, that move right there is definitely a critical hit.
“S-Soshiro...?”
He finally straightens back and ruffles your hair, acting like he hasn’t just made your heart run a marathon then stop it from beating altogether. “Good girl.”
K-O.
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Your day off feels like a fever dream. You still daydream about it sometimes.
Holidays are few and far between in the Defense Force. You wanted to make the most of it by going to a collab cafe. Instead, you had to feel the full force of Narumi Gen’s jealousy as he stubbornly inserts himself into your plans, escape his fans by letting Hoshina Soshiro pull you with him, and...
Involuntarily, your hand shoots up to your neck.
Hoshina Soshiro is a dangerous, dangerous man.
“Platoon Leader?”
Narumi’s voice snaps you from your thoughts. Straightening your posture, you blink a few times. Right. You’re at work right now.
Narumi, Hasegawa, and the entirety of the First Divison Platoon Leaders are currently visiting the Tachikawa Base for a joint training program. After the formal introductions, everyone gathered in one of the huge training fields. You’ve become acquainted with the Third Division’s Captain, Ashiro Mina, and the other members of her division.
“My apologies, Captain Narumi.” You wince, shaking your head to get your focus back. Thankfully it’s break time right now.
There’s a flash of worry in Narumi’s eyes. He hands you a bottle of water, to which you take gratefully. Just then, a couple figures make their presence known.
Hibino is once again shoved forward by his friends. His eyes flit between you and Narumi nervously. “Umm,” he starts, twiddling his fingers, “May I ask you something?”
“Sure! What is it?”
Ichikawa gives him another push before Hibino finally exclaims, “Is it true that you and Vice-Captain Hoshina are dating?!”
The volume of his voice is enough to catch the attention of nearby soldiers. They all turn to look at you with interest in their faces. Meanwhile, you’re growing increasingly flustered. “U-uh, wha-”
“Oh, really? You never told me.” Even the stoic Ashiro Mina is interested, covering her mouth with her hand as she looks at her vice-captain.
Hoshina has the biggest smile on his face. “Oh my.” He comments, refusing to elaborate.
You feel another arrival of a cyclone next to you.
“H-Haaahhh?! This is the first time I heard about this!” Narumi yells, making Hibino and Ichikawa shrink back in fear.
“C-Captain Narumi, it’s not like that! We’re not dating!” Aghast, you blush in embarrassment at having to clarify the relationship you have with Hoshina.
“Platoon Leader, you’re so cold! I have the picture to prove it, y’know?” Hoshina says in a sing-song voice, walking over to the crowd.
The ambiguity of his sentence only made the situation worse. Judging by the sickly sweet smile on his face, you have a sudden sinking feeling that he’s doing it on purpose.
“What?!” You hold your breath as Narumi spins you around to face him, “What is going on?!”
“Captain Narumi, you can’t possibly believe-”
“Hoshina! I’m so happy for you!”
“Shut up for a moment, Ashiro!” After saying that, Narumi pulls you away to a more quiet space, leaving behind the shell-shocked soldiers.
Captain Narumi is scary when he’s angry. Right now, he’s glaring at you so hard, it makes you want to melt to the ground. “Come see me after the day ends.” He whispers as you feel another wave of déjà vu wash over you. The last time he calls for you, he let you off with a couple of kisses. This time? You’re not so sure.
“Ah, there you are!”
Hoshina walks over and pulls you free from Narumi’s grasp, meeting his furious gaze evenly. “You always hog her to yourself. It’s annoying.” He says sweetly, venom lacing his words. “Anyway, what’re you doing after this? I want to continue where we left off...”
You stare in terror as Narumi’s anger finally reaches boiling point.
“The hell do you mean by that, Hoshinaaa?!!! You, you-”
“So noisy. You wanna take this outside?”
“Hell yeah I wanna take this outside!”
“But we’re already outside, idiot.”
“Boys! Boys,” Placing a hand on their chest to stop them from mauling each other, you look at the sky and sigh in exasperation. “Let’s be civilized, please!”
“Then meet me first tonight.” Hoshina grins, “After that you can compare me with that idiot. I guarantee—”
“What, you think I’m afraid?!” Narumi has lost all his composure by now, “Okay, do it then! I promise you, I can show you a whole lotta better time than this guy!”
You gulp when the two men turns their head in sync to look at you, urging you to agree to their little arrangement.
Yikes. Looks like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew...?!
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TAGLIST: @bgyuus (send me an ask/reply if you want to be added to the taglist!)
END NOTES: Honestly, this series is too fun for me not to make a part 2. I think I fangirled 90 times while making this (Narumi and Hoshina are sexy, sexy men).
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bunniesanddeer · 7 months
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Touch Pt 2
Alastor x GN!Reader
Part One
Plot: Alastor talks to Charlie about his problem, sort of. Then he settles the situation with Reader.
Tags: GN! Reader, fluff, angst, minor pining, short fic.
Word Count: 1,591
Touch Pt. 2
It was Charlie that came to get him. He had neglected to make dinner or even tell the others that he wasn’t going to make it that night. Charlie had knocked on his door, her rhythmic knock ever-so recognizable, and leaned her head just inside. 
“Hey, Al? You alright, in there?” He could see her eyes flit about, before landing on him. “We were worried about you.”
Alastor just hummed, disinterest coloring his face. He was sitting at a small table just across the border of the original room and his swamp, sipping a cup of coffee, and reading. 
Charlie, seemingly ignoring his clear show of indifference, stepped further into his room, shutting the door behind her. 
“Don’t worry about dinner. Angel begged for us to just order pizza instead. Something about ‘junk food healing the soul’, or whatever,” Charlie continued, making her way towards Alastor. Although her hands fiddled with each other, she kept her voice steady. Charlie was getting better at hiding her nerves around Alastor. (He could almost say he was proud, but that would be inane!) “Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Charlie said your name, and Alastor’s ear perked, on their own accord. “They mentioned you seeming off earlier, but didn’t want to bother you.”
“I can assure you that I am fine, dear. I don’t know what silly thoughts they’ve put in your head, but everything is fine,” Alastor said, trying to keep his smile wide. When he finally looked at Charlie, he realized she hadn’t believed a word he’d said. How ridiculous! There was nothing wrong! She should just take his word for it, and leave. 
“I don’t know. You do seem bothered by something.” Charlie made her, ridiculous, thinking face, before nodding to herself. She promptly sat herself in the seat opposite Alastor, and folded her hands on the table. “You should talk about it. It’s not good to let these things bottle up.”
Alastor nearly dropped his smile so he could glare at her. How absolutely ludicrous! He had nothing to talk about! And even if he did, he had nothing he would willingly tell Charlie. “There is nothing to talk about. Please leave.”
Charlie cocked her head, and narrowed her eyes. She said your name, again, watching his ears twitch. “This is about them, isn’t it! You’ve been acting weird around them recently. Always staring at them.”
Alastor gritted his teeth, trying to hold his composure. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“HA! It is! You would never respond like that if it wasn’t.” Charlie smiled smugly, and Alastor wanted to claw her face off. He couldn’t, but it was an entertaining thought. He could turn her skin into ribbons, and use them to gift-wrap things for Rosie. “Come on, what’s going on? You didn’t have a problem with them before.”
Alastor hesitated. He could try and pry information out of Charlie, if he let himself be a tiny bit honest. He sighed, and set down his book and mug. “Alright, I’ll tell you a little, but! I have a question first.”
Charlie gave him a suspicious look, but she acquiesced with a nod. 
“Why are they suddenly all… touchy with everyone? You mentioned some time ago that they don’t like being touched, but that seems to have changed, rather out of nowhere,” Alastor said, trying to keep his motivation for the answer hidden. He watched as Charlie’s face flooded with multiple emotions, before settling on something soft. He couldn’t tell what it was, but it made his skin crawl. The deer-demon hoped that expression had nothing to do with him. 
“Ah. Yeah. I meant to explain that when they talked to me about it recently, but I completely forgot,” Charlie sighed, brushing a hand through her hair. “They’re touch averse, but when they get comfortable with people, especially good friends, it’s something they start to… hmm what is the word I want to use… They kind of start to crave it. Touch is something they don’t get a lot of, so when they are comfortable with someone, they’ll initiate a lot of it. So now that they’re settled into the hotel, and know all of us well enough, they’re more comfortable.”
He had never considered something like that before. You would get lonely, wouldn’t you? You were a very outgoing soul, but sequestering yourself from others would get hard after a time, wouldn’t it? The more Alastor thought about it, the more it made sense. You had been there quite a while once you started to get tactile with the others. But still, it didn’t make sense that he would be excluded! You were always so nice to him! You sometimes sought him out for conversation. Was he too overbearing sometimes? Alastor’s mind slightly spiraled, the longer he thought about it. 
“You alright there, Al?” Charlie’s voice interrupted his mental descent with a rough jerk. “Does your problem have something to do with that?”
Alastor looked away from the princess, trying to contain his thoughts down enough so he could tell her without giving it all away. But the idea of you fearing him or something of that nature made his stomach churn. He couldn’t think straight.
“Then why not me?”
Alastor didn’t realize he had spoken until Charlie’s eyebrows popped up. “Oh. Oh geez.” Her face scrunched in guilt. “That might be my fault.”
A screech interrupted the soft static that played around Alastor. “What?”
Charlie’s eyes flitted about, uncomfortable with the weight of Alastor’s glare. “Yeah. I mentioned, pretty early on to them, that you also don’t like being touched. That sometimes you might touch others, but you didn’t like it.”
Alastor cupped his forehead in one hand, and glared down at the table. “Are you kidding me?”
“Ah, no. I’m pretty sure that’s it. They’re pretty good about keeping boundaries, so they might have been trying to make sure you were comfortable,” Charlie muttered. She cupped her face in her hands, melting into them with guilt. “I’m so sorry, Al. I can totally go talk to them for you. If I had known this was a problem, I would never…”
Alastor tuned out Charlie’s ramblings. This whole thing had been a misunderstanding. Somewhat. It was true, he didn’t like being touched, most of the time. However, he did not like being left out of things without being consulted! It should have been up to him to draw that line. Alastor huffs to himself, and decides he will simply talk to you, himself.
He abruptly stands from his chair. “Alright then! I’m off to go talk to the little darling! I will straighten this out myself, Charlie.” Without another word, or even bothering to make sure she left his room, he took off towards your room.
He knocks twice, and waits patiently. Alastor hears a few thumps, and is glad that you’re inside. Much better to have this conversation in a private place, rather than out in the open!
The door creaks open, and there you are! You smile up at him. “Hi, Alastor. What can I do for you,” you ask. 
Ha! What could you do for him? (What couldn’t you do? No. He wasn’t going to continue thinking.)
“Hello, my dear! I was hoping you had a moment, so we could talk! Hopefully, inside?” He gestures towards the inside of your room, and, although you hesitate, you nod. You open the door wider, and let him in.
“What’s up?” You ask. (He would never get over how strange slang and expressions got in recent years. At least he could understand most of them now. It used to be hard to understand younger souls).
“Ah. I was hoping to clear up a misconception that you might have.” Alastor leans down, leaving a few inches of space between your faces. Your eyes widen, just slightly, in surprise, but he is pleased to see you hold your ground. “I do not always mind being touched. I have, in fact, noticed you actively avoiding touching me.” Alastor leans back, suddenly, placing a hand over his heart. “And oh, does it hurt, dearest!”
He says it as if it’s a joke, (it isn’t), and it is, but he dislikes being singled out in matters as trivial as these! Your brows furrow, but you still give him a smile.
“Ah, dang, Al. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to exclude you. I just thought you didn’t like that kind of stuff.” You smile wider, your tone turning silly. “I’ll make sure to include you in all our group hugs now!”
Alastor’s brows flatten, and his ears pin back, just slightly. “Please don’t.”
Your eyes close as you smile and laugh. You take a hand and cover it up. (Alastor wants to pull it down. One should never hide their smile. He doesn’t, though). He feels a weight, that he hadn’t noticed, lift from him at the sight. 
When you put a hand on his arm and squeeze, softly, it feels right. He says little more, just a ‘good night’. When he finally deigns to make himself dinner, he lets the joy finally saturate his body. What a delightful feeling!
He enjoys the next several days, where he realizes how many little touches you give him. If he preens beneath them, or his smile grows wider, or his tail wags, no one notices. Much better that way. No one needed to know. 
Much less you, with your soft smiles, and happy laughter. 
Not knowing would always be the better option.
Taglist:
I have no idea how to do one of these! I apologize if it doesn't work! Also, some of the names aren't working, when I try to tag, so I am sorry if you are listed, but it didn't work??
@wpdarlingpan @cxrsedwxrlds @littledolly2345 @angelofthorr @nkirukaj @hazelfoureyes @teh-vampire-bunny @fairyv-ice @ittoehurt @poppingaround @mysterypotatoink @viridiya @xalygatorx @viviannagiorgini
ALSO
Thank you?? I wasn't expecting the response that I got from everyone! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. I squee'd out loud when I saw how many people had read my silly little fic. Also, if you have left an ask, I am working on it, I promise! I just have a very crazy schedule.
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kazuhaiku · 15 days
Text
forever be mine
warnings: gn!reader, fluff, a tiny bit inspired by my lvl999 love for yamada-kun (you'll know which part) ノpairings: kinich x reader
notes: if u know which part of that anime im talking about i love you
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Nonchalant might not be the right word to describe Kinich, however, there are times when Kinich will act nonchalantly toward you. Maybe it’s the fact that he has a hard time expressing his feelings in front of other people, or maybe it’s how he just doesn’t care about anything. Either way, sometimes it’s really hard for you to understand how Kinich is feeling at some times.
That’s why even after a year of being friends with Kinich, you don’t know whether or not he likes you or not. He treats everyone the same — caring and always willing to help others when they need it. These mixed feelings Kinich gives you are sometimes too much for you to handle that you either get angry or sad over it, to which Mualani is quick to comfort you knowing the longtime crush you’ve had on him.
Whenever the two of you go out together, Kinich doesn’t act differently. He acts the same way he does whenever you hang out with Kachina and Mualani.
As you walk behind Kinich, you stare at his back trying to understand his feelings without asking him directly. You’re practically staring daggers into his back, causing the people you pass by to feel a tiny bit scared of you.
Kinich, seemingly starting to notice the weird stares he’s been getting, turns around and sees you glaring at him. “What’re you doing?”
“Huh?” you snap out of your daze, returning to your usual cheery smile. “Nothing! I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Then why are they looking at me as if they’re saying ‘run, now.’?” Kinich questions, crossing his arms as he patiently waits for your answer.
You sigh. “I really can’t hide anything from you, can’t I?” you fiddle with your fingers, suddenly feeling nervous to ask him what’s been on your mind for weeks. Clearing your throat, you speak, “Do you have a crush on me?”
Silence.
Wait. That was not what you were supposed to ask him! Are you stupid? Why did you ask that? “W-Wait that’s not-!”
“You found out.” Kinich tilts his head slightly to the right and gives you a small smile. “And here I thought I was hiding it pretty well.”
“Wait- Huh?!” you exclaim, confused and flustered. “What- What do you mean I found out?! Are you- What?!” you can’t even speak properly, not when Kinich confesses to you so casually like that.
“Hm?” Kinich lets out a confused sound. “Why do you sound so confused?”
“It’s just-!” you scramble to find the right words. “That was not what I was supposed to ask you! It should’ve been-” You take in a deep breath. “Hey, Kinich! Do you like me or do you hate my guts?”
“Oh,” Kinich lets out a laugh. “Same thing, is it not?”
“No!” you exclaim. “I mean, yes I do like you back but that was not how I was expecting you to confess! I was expecting-”
“Wait-” Kinich puts a hand in front of him, stopping you from saying anything else and you can faintly see a hint of red appearing on his cheeks. “You like me too?”
You gasp and then squat down, covering your face in embarrassment because how could you blurt it out like that? “I can’t believe I just said that…” your voice is muffled by your hands, and you hear Kinich laugh. “Stop laughing!”
You hear his footsteps come closer and a finger taps your head gently, making you lift your head. Kinich has his hand stretched out to you. “Come on, we have a date to finish don’t we?”
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cattjull · 4 months
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'𝔠𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔦 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔱'𝔰 𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔢
bsf!ellie x reader!!
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SUMMARY: You get ready to a party with your best friend, but acting like you don't like her will be more difficult than ever tonight.
CW: r! is afab, r! shows her tits to ellie (?), alcohol game, and I think that´s all.
A/N: This took me forever to write but I really really liked how it turned out
PROMISE OF A DRUNK— It was kind of difficult to bring Ellie to a party. She would always complain about it being just loud music, alcohol and sex; but what's all that called together if not fun?
Probably what you most liked about parties was that you could get drunk and tell Ellie all you thought about her,how much you liked her, how hot she was, how much you loved seeing her with that reading glasses she wore sometimes... Because you could deny everything the next day. "I said that? what?" "I didn't do that" (whatever it was, yes you did) "Nah I don't trust you. I'm not the type to say that", you would say. It would seem weird for others but only you (and Ellie) knew how difficult it was to not confess to your best friend in the middle of watching a movie, or making bracelets, or having a sleepover. So yeah, sometimes getting drunk was a scape way to all your pretending.
After convincing Ellie to go to tonight's party, as you always did, she came around to you house in black jeans, a white tank top and a black leather jacket that—you'd never admit, made you go FERAL. The auburn watched you as you showed her your possible outfits: skirts and going out tops. You kinda noticed how she stared at some part (2 parts, if you want me to specify) of your body. Far from feeling harassed, you kinda enjoyed Ellie's gaze, like... She was just your best friend who liked watching you(r tits) and you were her best friend who liked... Her. So why not enjoying it?
"Oh, and-" you lifted your top, leaving your braless tits exposed to the air. "How are them? Like, they look good?" Her expression was completely shocked and in the matter of seconds her face turned red like a tomato. Completely.
"I, uh... They're good, yeah." She said and immediately covered her face with her hand and looked away, focusing her gaze in the floral pattern of your blanket.
"You didn't even look." You laughed. Then she turned to see your tits and the colour in her face intensified, if that was even possible. After like five seconds of being hypnotised, she finally looked up at your eyes.
"Good." She nodded. "Are you happy now?"
"I think you're the happy one here." You chuckled to yourself and took off the top completely, ready to try another outfit.
With Ellie's help you chose a midnight blue top with some black skirt and boots you didn't put on yet. Now it was makeup time. After less than 10 minutes, she started getting bored.
"When will you finish?"
"Not now."
She whined. Twenty minutes later, your sparkly blue makeup was done and when you turned around, you found Ellie sleeping, spread in your bed and a dumb smile formed in your lips. You sat beside her and looked at her eyelashes for a second, then at her lips. Oh, her lips. Impulsively, you leaned in and kissed her.
Her forehead. Because it didn't matter how bad you wanted to kiss her lips and how you dreamed about it (asleep or not), you couldn't do something she didn't allow you to, you just weren't able to. Maybe you loved her too much. You leaned in, getting your mouth close to her ear. You blew her, causing her to wake up suddenly and to sit up with a little scream.
"Hey! It's not fu- oh" Her almost inexistent amount of annoyance was replaced by... Something? when she saw your makeup. "Woah. You always surprise me." Her lips were parted now.
"I know." you shrugged cockily. "Are my eyelashes symmetrical?" You got closer and blinked a few times, looking at her beautiful green eyes. She couldn't help it and looked down at your tits. She dug her own grave and she knew it but come on, she couldn't help herself. And you obviously noticed this.
"My eyelashes." You repeated to Ellie in a teasing tone.
"I'm looking at your eyelashes!" She protested as her emerald gaze shifted to your eyes again. "They're symmetrical."
"The eyelashes too?" She hit your leg, a slight blush creeping onto her beautiful freckled cheeks.
"Shut up." Her reaction made you chuckle.
"Can i do your makeup?"
"Uh, just nothing weird."
"Just eyeliner?"
"Yeah, that will be good."
"Sit against the headboard please." Ellie obeyed you. She knew that was an excuse to sit on her lap, but she wanted you to so...
You took the bag from your night table, ready to do your job. You sat on her lap, with your legs on each side of that pretty black jeans of hers.
"Look upside." Ellie did as you said and you started doing your job.
You felt your cheeks turning a completely different colour when Ellie placed her hands in your waist. You wouldn't admit how nervous you got because of that, and Ellie wouldn't admit she too even though she was the one who made the move. While you traced small lines all around Ellie's eye line, you couldn't help but notice she had gotten red as well. Crimson red. Even though you would've loved to mock her about that, you were in the same position as her so you shut up, both of you enjoying the closeness and at the same time pretending absolutely nothing was going on between you, even knowing that if one of you pulled the other girl's face closer in a kiss none of you would pull back in a long, long time.
You kept doing her eyeliner, trying to ignore the indecent thoughts of Ellie that crossed your mind, mashing up the images of Ellie when she was changing in the same room as you with right now where you sat on her with some Twitter videos you'd never admit you watched. She's your best friend and just your best friend. She's your best friend and just your best friend. She's your best friend and just your best friend, you repeated mentally trying to sound convincing. After like 5 minutes you were done, and with a phew you announced you were done.
"I thought I was gonna screw it."
"Me too." Ellie received a small hit in her arm.
"Hey!" You complained.
"I was joking, you're incredible." She said as she sobbed her arm.
"Oh, don't flirt with me now."
"You're delusional." You smiled at that.
"Shut up. Are we going to the party now?"
You took an Uber to the house of someone you didn't actually know, but you were invited by some friend anyways.
In the way there, you leaned your head in Ellie's shoulder with tranquility. You thought that maybe, if you had done something impulsive when doing her eyeliner, probably both of you would've been tense now, but that didn't happen and that wasn't even important to you right now because, come on, you were in Ellie's shoulder and her head was leaning on yours. Yeah, you used to do that but that didn't mean you couldn't get nervous, and getting nervous didn't mean Ellie would notice that. (Did it?)
12 pm
Music came from the inside of the luxury building, inviting you to come inside. The night was young and there wasn't any drunk people yet, not enough to notice.
You entered inside the building and in the kitchen you could see one of your friends, Dina, which was Ellie's best friend and when she saw you immediately gestured for the two of you to join the group she was with with a friendly expression.
"We'll have fun." You said and dragged Ellie with you by her hand as if she didn't know how to walk by herself.
2 am.
The vodka bottle, almost in the half now, rested in the middle of the round. If you didn't want to answer a question, two sips. If you didn't want to fulfill the dare, four sips.
"Truth." The blonde named Lacy said tilting her head to the side with a smirk.
"Who do you like?" Jesse asked.
"Oh come on." You complained about the same basic question everyone always make in truth or dare, interrupting; half of your politeness always faded away with a little of alcohol in your system. "Ask something interesting."
"Shut up. It's interesting." Jesse defended himself.
"Sure."
"Well, I like some girl who has short hair and is right here." She answered when your little argument with Jesse finished, looked at Ellie and winking at her.
If Ellie had been sober, she would have frozen and stay awkwardly silent. But she wasn't, so she smirked with a noticeable red face, looking the girl she didn't know down, and scratched her ear. If you had been sober, you would have dissimulated and tease your friend about the situation. But you wasn't, so you glared at the girl with the most pure hatred before shifting your gaze to Ellie. YOUR Ellie.
You placed your hand in the Auburn's thigh casually, something Lacy didn't overlook. And she shouldn't, you were threatening the hell out of her.
Ellie is mine. Stay away. As simple as that. Ellie looked at you with a surprised smile.
"Oh?" She got closer, you were frozen at this and when your soul came back to your body she was whispering in your ear. "Are you jealous baby? Is that why you touch me like that? Because I think she likes me."
She blabbed with a dumb smile. What did she call you? BABY? Your face was burning now and all you hoped (Besides Lacy's death) was that Ellie didn't notice your nervousness, which you were almost 100% sure overflowed your body, being almost palpable.
"I'm not." You said taking credit away from the situation. Your hand still rested in Ellie's thigh, wishing to go up. Now was Lacy's turn, who looked at you like you invented global warming.
"Truth or dare, Els?" Sorry? Els? Come on, only you called her like that. And Dina sometimes. Who the fuck did she think she was? Just going there and calling your girlfriend like that as if-
"Dare." She smirked.
"I dare you to kiss me." OH NO YOU FUCKING-, you shouted in your head as your poor knuckles turned white because of how tight you were clenching your fists. Ellie came closer to... The bottle? She directed it to her mouth and drank four sips, making a disgust expression.
"Sorry girl, I'm taken." She smiled at her before sitting beside you again. Now she was the one touching your thigh, sending shivers all over your leg.
"Taken?" You asked with true curiosity.
"By you." A silly smile appeared on her lips. She got closer in an attempt to kiss you.
"What are you doing?" You giggled at Ellie's interest for you, which she only showed when she was this drunk or talking between dreams, two things you were used to pretend that didn't happen because god it would be so awkward for Ellie to tell her about that, to confront her, to ask her if she had any actual feelings for you. You moved your head to the side so she ended up kissing your cheek. You didn't even perceive if she behaved like this JUST because of the alcohol or if she actually liked you and it was more difficult to hide it after some drinks but you decided to not think about it much, not now. Ellie rand her hand down your thigh slightly, squeezing it a little.
"Truth or dare?" The Auburn asked you.
"Truth."
"Do you like me?"
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kestisvrse · 8 months
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good luck charm
part i, part ii
pairing ⋆ hockey player!luke castellan x fem!reader au. fluff.
synopsis ⋆ the rivalry between you and luke had ended, revealing feelings that were buried and how badly he wanted to call you his.
warnings ⋆ i know nothing abt hockey i’m just canadian let me live, swearing, fast paced sorry😭 | wc: 1.3k
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♫ - nervous by the neighbourhood
life recently felt like a parallel universe, it felt almost wrong to wake up every morning with a good morning text from luke castellan.
you weren’t exactly close, but you had gotten to the point where you could talk and you didn’t insult him the entire time, and even found yourself cheering for him at his games.
your brother nagged at you for details about what happened that day, as you responded with nothing other than you apologized for being rude to him. he wasn’t buying it all, he had yet to see the fact that you texted luke daily, he only noticed the lack of comments you would make towards him and the fact that you would smile towards luke, something he thought was physically impossible.
you had realized pretty quickly after that day that despite ‘hating’ luke, it was to get rid of the butterflies you felt everytime you saw his curly black hair in a room, or heard his raspy voice with the smirk he always wore. it embarrassed you to think about, to think like this over a boy, but you couldn’t help it.
luckily, it was obvious he likes you, it was obvious from the first day you met him and how often he would be distracted from his tasks by you, but now that you were friends? some people could consider it insufferable how he would act with you, one of your friends called him ‘lovesick’.
which he was, it was such an odd realization, going from hating the boy to secretly liking him while he acted like your boyfriend, constantly texting you, sending you videos of how it reminded him of you or that you two should do a tik tok trend that was obviously made for couples.
he wasn’t embarrassed, he wanted you to know from the start how he felt, but the walls you built hid you from the truth until he broke them down.
despite how it all felt to you, rushed and weird, you found yourself sitting in his car, looking over the ocean as the sun set.
you couldn’t help but overthink everything, after all you said to him, here he sat, admiring your face unable to tear away, like you were a mirage he didn’t want to fade away.
“you’re staring, castellan.” you broke the silence between you two.
“thank you so much, captain obvious.” you could hear the smirk that formed as he said his clever response, earning an eye roll from you, but your own smile creeping up, “you coming to the game tomorrow?”
“yeah, why?” you ask
“great, i want you to wear this.” he reaches into his backseat before returning with his jersey, his eyes full of joy as he offers it to you.
“luke..” you stared at the jersey in your hands, “are you sure? i mean people will probably think i’m your girlfriend.”
“that was the plan, yes.” he says, “just, try it on.” he motions to you, you shrug it over your hoodie looking for his reaction.
to say he was in awe was an understatement, he was stuck in a trance at the sight of you wearing his number, like a deer in headlights he stared at you.
“luke…?” you spoke up, he snapped his head up to make eye contact with you.
“please wear it to the game.” he stuttered, his cheeks flushed red and suddenly his car felt very hot.
“okay, i will.” you whisper.
the freezing air against your face from the rink was so familiar it barely bothered you anymore, you had yet to see your brother and you wondered just what would go through his head at the sight of you, a hoodie on with an extra layer of the team’s colours, sporting luke castellan's number.
you didn’t even think of luke’s reaction, something about really seeing you with it on at the rink, he knew he was done for. when he exited the dressing room he immediately froze at the sight of you, and your smile that you reserved just for him, he was bright red at this point.
“luke!” you blurted, running up to him.
“hey.” he breathed out, unable to take his eyes off you.
“goodluck, you’ll do great.” you praised him, biting back a smile as you stared up at him.
“i have a good luck charm today, i think we can win.” he told you, a cheeky grin appearing, you tilt your head asking what it was, “you.”
before you could answer he was dragged off to the ice, you could feel your own blush rise up at his words. quickly rushing to your seat, your brother spots you and mid smile his jaw drops.
you sent him a sheepish wave, as luke grinned at the sight of him.
and then the game started.
as per usual, luke whipped around the ice. easily dodging and weaving his opponents as if they were made of air. it was mesmerizing to watch the way he moved, he seemed so focused on the task at hand, and yet even while he skated down the rink with the puck at the end of his stick, he still found the opportunity to look at you.
he was bound to get player of the game you thought to yourself, the way he boosted his teammates up, making sure everyone got the chance to make an impressive move even if that was the complete opposite point of the sport.
as the final buzzer rang, you jumped from your seat, the crowd watching erupted into cheers at the teams win as they watched the boys tackle each other into hugs.
you quickly dodged and ran through the stands to get to the entrance to the rink, to congratulate the team, as luke watched you make your way to him, he threw his helmet to the side to grab you and bring you into his arms.
“you won! you fucking won the tournament castellan!” you squealed into his neck.
he stopped spinning you and placed you onto the ground, and the way he looked into your eyes made everyone in the rink disappear. the cold air that previously nipped at you was replaced with a warm cozy feeling as you stared into his eyes.
he went to ask you the question, but his words wouldn’t come out, he felt his team stop and stare at the two of you, as you nodded towards him just from the expression in his eyes.
the expression was him asking if he could kiss you.
you swore you heard fireworks when he lent down to meet your lips, his gloves discarded so he could put his sweaty hands on your face, the feeling of his chapped lips against yours was enough to make you completely ignore how sweaty he was from the game.
he pulled away from your lips, as badly as he wanted to stay there forever.
“been wanting to do that for awhile.” he breathes, awestruck as he stares at you, as if you were the most extraordinary thing in the world.
“i knew it!” your brother's voice called out, distracting you from answering, “i knew you were sneaking out to see him!” your brother's jaw was on the ground.
“uh… sorry?” you muttered
your brother gave luke the iconic ‘you hurt her, i kill you.’ look before wandering into the dressing room.
luke just turns to you, “can i take you on a proper date tonight, good luck charm?” he asks
you snort, but begin to grin, “once you wash all this sweat off, i would love to go on a date with you.” he smirks and goes to kiss you, but you place your palm on his chest to push him back, “shower, castellan.”
despite how fast he flew down the rink, he definitely ran faster to the shower, in desperate need for another kiss from you.
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yesihaveaobsession · 3 months
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What is Love?
Alastor x female reader
Summary: Alastor consumes a love potion and becomes in love with the reader (you)
Warnings: Al is very touchy.
A/N- RAHH 🇺🇲🔥 Happy Fourth of July y'all!! To the ones who do celebrate! Consider this a gift <3
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Where to start? Alastor wasn't paying attention to what was in his 'oh dear' mug. The last time he checked, there was deer blood, but the next thing he knew, a shiver went down his spine, and everything was all lovey-dovey, especially when he looked at you. His "soul mate." He thought you were a goddess; he saw you in a new bright light. He felt like all his darkness that was held within him, the weight that was on his shoulders were suddenly lifted he had a love potion.
You were totally oblivious and were reading a book in the foyer on the couch. It was a literature classic "The Great Gatsby" You honestly forgot you had it and decided to read it again. That's when he walked into the room over to you with the biggest smile. You didn't pay attention because he was stealthy, your eyes continue to move from left to right.
“Ah, there you are, my dear!” he exclaimed, his voice tinged with an uncharacteristic giddiness. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you.”
You looked up from your book, surprised to see Alastor acting so…enthusiastic. “Oh, hi Alastor. Is everything alright?”
“Everything is perfect now that I’ve found you,” he declared, taking a seat beside you, perhaps a bit too close for comfort. His eyes, usually sharp and calculating, were now soft and filled with an intense adoration that made your heart skip a beat.
“Are you feeling okay?” you asked, concern evident in your voice.
“Never better!” he replied, his grin widening. “In fact, I’ve never felt more alive. Tell me, darling, what are you reading?” He leans in closer, looking at the book. Showing him the cover and it to be "The Great Gatsby." Although he's heard of it, he wanted to hear you talk. So you were explaining its plot briefly. Alastor listened intently, hanging on to every word as if it were the most fascinating story he’d ever heard. His behavior was both endearing and slightly alarming.
“Alastor, are you sure you’re not sick or something?” you pressed, noticing the unusual flush on his cheeks. You placed your hand on his forehead, feeling to see if he was warm or not.“I assure you, my dear, I am in perfect health. In fact, I think I might be…in love.”
What did he just say? Love? Alastor is in love with you? Your eyes widened in shock. “What?”
“Yes,” he said, leaning closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m hopelessly, madly in love with you.” That would explain why he was acting weird, but this wasn't just madly in love with you. You put two and two together. His eyes lighter, a lighter and brighter red. You could've sworn you saw practically hearts in his eyes when you were explaining the book. He was under a love spell. But how.
You knew he probably wouldn't tell you so you would have to love it over. So you turned your body to face him, and he was watching your every move. You placed your book aside and scooted closer to him, your eyes softening as you gazed into his. Slowly, you raised your hand and gently cupped his cheek. “Alastor,” you said sweetly, “you’re so wonderful. But I can’t help but wonder, what brought this on?”
Alastor's expression, along with his smile, turned dreamy. As he leans into your touch, his eyes hald- lidded. “Oh, my dear, it’s as if the universe itself conspired to bring us together.”
You smiled, your fingers lightly tracing his jawline. “That sounds so magical. But surely, there must be something that sparked this, don’t you think?” That's when Charlie and Vaggie walked in, and they turned into shock.
You sigh and look over at them embarrassed, you say."Alastor is under some type of love potion. I don't know how, but he's in... love with me." You say the last few parts slowly.
"Oh. um." Charlie said as she looked at Alastor practically in your lap and his face inches away from yours.
"I'm trying to love it out of him." Turning your attention back over to him and turned on your charm. He sighed blissfully, his resistance melting under your affectionate gaze. “Well, if you must know, I did come across a rather interesting potion earlier…”
Your heart skipped a beat. "Where did you find it."
"At Rosies."
You leaned in closer, your lips brushing against his ear. “Can you show me where it is? I’d love to see it.”Alastor shivered at your proximity; his resolve completely undone. “Of course, my love. Anything for you.” He poofted it, and it appeared in his hand held empty.
That's when it started to ware of and he realized how close he was to you and he pulled away, trying not to show how embarrassed he was.
"Are you alright?" You ask. He stood from the couch straightened out his jacket and his bowtie and tuned back over to you keeping his hands on the flaps of his jacket.
"My apologies, my dear, now if you excuse me, I have some tasks that have to be done." He turned into his black shadow and disappeared. You, Charlie, and Vaggie look at each other loss of words. Alastor was seen in his Radio Tower. A part of that wasn't just the potion he actually had feelings, but he wasn't going to let you know.
He wasn't going to let you know that he knew it was a love potion and he was the one who put it in his deer mug. It wasn't just a dream. It was realer than ever.
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