#and suddenly what the fuck is this if not destiel/cas

[archervale]

Dude I didn't know digimon adventure's theme song was destiel coded

[angel-fruitcake]

i'm sorry i know it's been talked about before but i need to talk about This again ↓

it's such a famous destiel scene for a reason. this reaction is so very interesting to me bc dean's (or jensen's) body language is so revealing here. his leg drawing inward, his hand movement, the way his whole posture changes as if to conceal something. like i really wanna know what the stage direction was for this scene, bc if it wasn't "appear suddenly very aroused" then idk wtf they were going for bc that's what we got. especially when you compare dean's reaction to sam's, which seems more like just normal surprise and acknowledgment

and then also this expression ↓

to me this screams "oh fuck he's hot but act cool act cool sam is watching"

like??? if this wasn't dean getting turned on by cas, then it was jensen accidentally letting his attraction to misha bleed into dean

[hornystiel]

chipped coin

1,6k, mature (i guess), early seasons destiel

so jackles and ida @chapeldean reminded me about the whole 'dean in cas' coat' thing and i wrote this in one go.

Dean’s rummaging in the pockets of the trench coat he’s currently borrowing from Cas in chance to find something like, you know, change, like what normal people are carrying with them in their pockets. 

Cas appears to be some kind of bird who likes shiny things, because his pockets have everything but the money Dean needs to buy himself a can of soda at 3 am from the vending machine outside of their motel room. Their room. 

Jesus, when did it become two rooms and not for Dean and Sam even, but for Dean and Cas, and Sam. Well, it’s not always like that, sometimes they still stay in one room because everything's packed and they don’t have any spare money or a working credit card with them. Except why the fuck Cas even needs to stay with them at night? And sleep in Dean’s bed. He’s a fucking angel, he doesn’t even need sleep. 

Not that Dean minds. Not really. 

Shiny rocks, a piece of glass (not sharp, thankfully), a cap from a beer Dean likes and tried to give to Cas a few times, some kind of a keychain in the shape of a cat? It’s cute though. Still no money.

Dean’s getting cold because he only slipped into Cas’ coat and currently wears only that, boots, and his batman boxers he managed to win from under Cas who was blissfully zoned out after fucking him into the creaky bed they share today. But once Dean took the coat and put it on, the look on Cas’ face became nothing but predatory. Dean’s sure if he lingered for a bit before leaving - they’d be having round two right now. 

Dean’s ass is still sensitive and he still feels, well, Cas’ come leaking out of him a bit. That should really be very gross, Dean’s sure he should feel gross. 

He doesn’t and that’s kind of concerning. 

He touches the bite mark on his neck and feels his cheeks heating up, even in the chilly parking lot. 

Castiel was intense the minute he appeared in Dean’s life, but Dean didn’t really think he would be so into marking him in every way possible. Although, the handprint on his shoulder should have given him some ideas. Dean coughs a little, trying to will his brain to stop translating the direct feed of Cas sucking hickeys on his hips half an hour before.

Right. He’s still thirsty, that was the reason he left the room in the first place. Not to contemplate. 

They are just fucking. Just fucking, just sharing a room, just talking for hours about everything and nothing, just grabbing a bite in shitty diners when Cas pops up out of nowhere right when Dean thinks it would be nice to make him try this new weird-looking pie and see that adorable frown make an appearance again, the apocalypse fuckery hanging somewhere in the background for once. 

Dean digs faster, in an attempt to overrun his own thoughts. How deep are those pockets? Finally something circle-shaped is in his hands and he brings it to the neon light to the left of him to see what it is. 

It’s the coin, a piece of it chipped a little, a tiny hole piercing it close to the ridge. 

Dean remembers this coin. 

He was boredly playing with all the change he had on him during their pitstop in one of the bars on their way to another state, Cas sitting on the opposite end of a small booth, looking ragged. Rebel angels have tough days. 

Dean noticed this coin and said Hey, look. This one is like you. Castiel squinted at the coin and mumbled Useless and broken? Dean huffed and went Not like the others and still kicking. 

He placed it in Cas’ hand and said that this one is for good luck. Castiel frowned but took it. 

Dean thought he threw it away or lost it a long time ago. But it’s still here. In Dean’s palm again. An angel who wields the destinies of the whole civilisations is carrying a chipped coin for good luck given to him by a hick human. 

Suddenly he isn’t really thirsty anymore. 

He puts everything back into the pockets and quickly goes back to their room. 

Cas is still sprawled on the bed (more and more human things in his arsenal, one day he’ll use this arsenal of adorable/annoying lethal quirks to kill Dean dead), but once Dean closes the door, he sits up and looks at Dean. 

Forget the pain in his ass, Dean wants to ride this ruffled creature into the sunset of a better future. 

“Dean, I advise you to take the coat off, because I’m not sure I can control myself when you are wearing it and I know you must be tired.”

“Aw, for a possessive bastard you’re such a gentleman.” Dean chuckles and without taking the trench coat off climbs on top of Cas’ naked thighs. “What, afraid you’ll fuck the Righteous Man too good he goes out of commission?” 

Castiel growls and tugs Dean closer, crushing their mouths together, hands roaming all over his body as if they were separated for a decade instead of thirty minutes tops. 

“It’s just…the more traces of me you have on yourself, the more I…” Cas hides his face in Dean’s shoulder, his movements slowing but not losing intensity, a hand crawling to the handprint, hidden under the coat. 

“Tell me.” Dean’s lost all of his brain cells on the way here, he wants to hear how much he breaks Cas’ restraint, he wants to know the moment Cas started thinking of this coat as a part of him, he wants to know whether it’s the first time Cas even feels this way and if so he doesn’t want to share this knowledge with anybody else. Man, they are both possessive as fuck. 

“I want to keep you to myself,” Cas whispers, unsure, and Dean moans, slowly grinding into him, starting to pull the coat off his shoulders, but Cas stops his hands. Holy fucking shit.  

“You were mine to rebuild, mine to bring back to life, mine to protect,” Cas lifts his gaze to Dean and strokes his jaw. “Now you’re mine to love.” 

If Dean ever wondered what the perfect example of “fuck around and find out” looks like in real life - well. He’s experiencing it now. 

“Shut up,” he tells Cas because he isn’t ready to start fucking crying during the most mindblowing kinky sex he isn’t even fully having right now. 

Cas opens his mouth to argue and probably tell him more insane shit that will rewire Dean’s mindframe forever and ever, so he shuts him up himself with kisses. After they’re finally done making out, Cas, the stubborn bastard, opens his mouth again.

“Was what I said wrong? You asked me to tell you.” 

“No, it’s just…” How can he even begin to explain everything that’s happening in his brain right now? That Cas just voiced Dean’s own feelings he’s too afraid to even start rationalizing in his own mind? Let alone talking about them. The thought that Cas doesn’t know what he’s talking about doesn’t even cross his mind. He knows they both feel the same and both are greatly inexperienced in just being in love. Cas being an angel, Dean being a hunter and both of them being fuckups. 

“You are thinking too much. I don’t require your answer, Dean, that’s not why I said it.” Cas touches his neck, shoulders, stomach, thighs. Feather-light strokes of his long fingers relax Dean gradually. “Just let me take care of you sometimes.”

 And Dean lets. 

The coat stays on, like a wall, shielding what they have from the rest of the world. Dean imagines that it’s Cas’ wings that envelop him and keep him safe. 

They take it slow this time, Dean rocking on top of Cas like he has all the time in the world, Cas’ hands are firm but still gentle, supporting him when he gets tired. He’s so beautiful underneath him, all black unruly hair, dark stubble and eyes only for Dean. 

Dean kisses him and kisses and kisses until his lips get numb and scratchy from all the licking and biting. 

Cas talks to him, quiet and intimate, and, dammit, Dean ends up crying after all. But he feels so, so much lighter, he feels like there’s light streaming from all the scars on his body. 

When they are cleaned up, Dean digs in the pockets of Cas’ coat again, Cas curiously watching from the bed, clad in boxers and Dean's t-shirt. Dean kinda gets why Cas jumped him when he walked in in his trench coat earlier. The t-shirt…is doing things to him too. 

He finds the coin again, takes it, threads a thick rope through the tiny hole in it and tugs the ends. Then goes to Cas and motions for him to bow his head. 

Cas looks puzzled for a second and then a tiny warm smile spreads on his face when he thumbs the improvised amulet on his neck. 

“Just uh. For it not to get lost in your giant ass pockets.” Dean’s scratching his head and fidgeting like a dumbass. 

“Thank you Dean,” Cas catches Dean’s restless hands in his and just holds them, “Thank you for taking care of it.” 

Thank you for taking care of me.

One day Dean will say it back outloud. 

[destieltropecollection]

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023| DAY 1 | Roommates

Christmas Sweaters In June | @envydean Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,500 Main Tags/Warnings: Laundromats, Ugly Christmas Sweaters, First Kiss, Secretly in love with each other, Mutual Pining Summary: “Love,” Cas says suddenly in his ear. It makes Dean’s heart jump and his lungs constrict. “Wha-what?” Dean stutters, head turning to Cas whose eyes are still fixated on the screen. “L-O-V-E. Love, it’s the one you’re missing from this round.” Dean looks back down at his screen and sees Cas’ finger linking the letters together. “Oh,” Dean breathes.

Take a Chance on Me | @nickelkeep

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,186 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, They were roommates!, Idiots in Love. Summary: After what could possibly be the worst date that Cas has ever had, his best friend Dean is there to help make things right. And how Dean makes things rights? It's the last thing Cas ever dreamed of.

You Are Safe Here, You Know | @sunshine-zenith

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,739 Main Tags/Warnings: Normal Human AU, Human Cas, Teacher Dean, Getting Together, Mental health issues, homelessness (past), minor injuries (past) Summary: In which Castiel has a bad day at the Gas N' Sip and his roommate, Dean, cheers him up

light my candle | @demonmary

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,798 Main Tags/Warnings: Mutual Pining, Teasing, Jealous Dean, Friends to Lovers, Dirty Talk, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Getting Together Summary: Dean held out his hand, the perfectly dripped circle of dried wax laying in his palm. “You into candle wax, buddy? Never thought you’d be that type in the bedroom.” He remarked casually, fighting against the onslaught of images this new information provided the part of his brain that housed his Forbidden Cas Fantasies. Cas finally looked up into Dean’s gaze, and Dean was surprised to see the challenge presented behind those stupidly beautiful blue eyes. “Well then, Dean, could you tell me exactly what type you did take me for while you were contemplating my preferences in bed?”

Just Turn Around And Go | @porcupine-girl

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 11,320 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Brief mentions of other past relationships for both of them, Pining, No actual infidelity happens, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers Summary: Dean should be happy. His best friend and housemate of five years, Castiel, is moving out to live with his boyfriend, Balthazar. Dean's career is going great, so he can easily afford the house on his own now. This is just growing up, moving forward to the next phase of their lives. It would be awesome, if he weren't in love with Cas. Well, here we go, he thinks as he opens the refrigerator and digs around for sandwich supplies. First day of the rest of your life. Time to move the fuck on. As he slams his meat and mayo and pickles down on the counter, he considers adding the bottle of whiskey he knows is hiding in the cabinet, but decides that he has enough self-respect to wait 'til five. Then he'll get fucking blackout drunk. Yep. Awesome.

Cuddlibus | Destielshipper4Cas (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14,566 Main Tags/Warnings: Creature Castiel, Friends to Lovers, Roommates, Bottom Castiel, Top Dean, Alpha Dean, Omega Castiel, Happy Ending Summary: As a cuddlibus—a subspecies of incubi—Cas needs regular cuddles to survive. Dean is more than happy to let his best friend feed off him.

And they were ghostmates | @whichstiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16,071 Main Tags/Warnings: Quarantine, Ghosts, Implied temporary major character death, Alternate universe Summary: Castiel moves into his new house, looking for a fresh start. With cosmically bad timing, as quarantine descends he learns his house is haunted by the ghost of Dean Winchester.

Crush My Heart(Love on Tour Version) | Maetheheller (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 17,493 Main Tags/Warnings: John Winchester A++ parenting, top Castiel/bottom dean Winchester, idiots to lovers, bossy Castiel, dean Winchester wears panties, Lisa and dean break up, past Castiel/mick Davies, Cas and dean go to a Harry styles concert Summary: After responding to an ad, Cas Novak finds himself with the perfect roommate. Only, he’s not as perfect as he could be. Dean Winchester is every man’s wet dream— handsome, rugged, a good cook, and an even better person to be around. Only problem is, he has a girlfriend, who doesn’t like Castiel very much. Despite all that, Cas enjoys his company and through their budding friendship, maybe Dean can realize how good Cas can be for him. Through movie nights and bonding over Harry Styles, they’ll have to see what they make of living together.

Lucky Winner | @natmoose

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 31,741 Main Tags/Warnings: Roommate AU, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Rommates to Lovers, Summer Vacation Summary: Dean wins a trip to Paris. In and of itself, that’s an amazing thing, but the problem is: he isn’t in a relationship with Lisa anymore, and the trip requires a romantic partner. The obvious choice is Cas, his roommate and best friend of 3 years, but coming with that are some very very complicated feelings and things Dean absolutely doesn’t want to deal with. But Dean isn’t selfish and also really wants to give his overworked best friend a well deserved holiday, so the only and best solution is to take Cas to Paris, romantic theme be damned. What Dean doesn’t know is that their whole trip will be documented by a photographer from the company - so to avoid their vacation being cut short, Dean and Cas will have to convincingly play a couple.

[turtleraccoonsoup]

hey guys do you wanna have a flash fic of dean doing the Gay Crisis Tango?

of course you do have some destiel highschool au where Dean sees Cas and cannot cope

Italicized stuff is flashbacks, sorry if theirs eyestrain!!

------------------------------------------------------

Dean sat on his bed, starting at a wall across from him. It was his first day of school in this new shitty town and he was already starting to hate it.

The teachers were annoying, the classes were hard, and he was learning things he wasn't ready to know about himself.

"And this is our new student Dane Winchester!"

"Its Dean." Dean corrected, not in the mood to deal with annoying teachers.

"Right, Dean. Sorry." The teacher corrected himself.

Dean grabbed his hair and let himself give into gravity, falling onto his bed in the motel room he'd be staying in with Sam for supposedly only two weeks, but he knows his dad isn't good about that stuff.

"Alrighty Dane, you'll be over there with Mr. Novak."

"Its Dean." He insisted as he walked over to the desk the teacher, whos name he hadn't bothered learning, had gestured to and sat down.

It wasn't their first time staying in a town so small that the middle, elementary, and high school were all in the same building, having to share desks and only moving from class to class maybe three times a day, one of those being to go to lunch, but, this was definitely the most interesting iteration.

He sat down and looked over at his new desk mate for hopefully only two weeks, and immediately took back that last notion.

The man next to him, Novak, was it? Was... hot. Beautiful in ways Dean hadn't seen in anyone before. Messy brown hair stuck up in every direction, a grim look to his already stubbled face. Bright blue eyes, so blue they pierced Deans heart, lay heavy-set into his skull. Chapped, large pink lips that made Deans mind wander.

Dean immediately looked away, his face growing red and his heart pounding.

'What the fuck?' Dean thought to himself.

'No, no no no no no no no. I am NOT gay. I like women! I've had girlfriends! I am NOT into a guy ive never talked to.'

Dean laid now, after a long, tiring day of seeing that handsome guy he now knew as Castiel roam from class to class and going across rooms and sitting and- Dean had been watching him all day.

Walking back to the motel from school Sam had brought up his staring, as he was now also in highschool and noticed his brothers odd behavior.

Dean new better than to push his brother away and decided to open up.

"I think I might be bi."

Dean had always been aware of being gay and bi and such but his dad had made him think that things like that were just as unnatural as the monsters he hunted.

Sam, of course, immediately told him he was cool with it and asked him why he'd decided to tell him now.

Dean had told him the truth.

And now he's here. Wondering what the fuck changed to make him suddenly bi.

He thought back all the way to his first memories, as far as he could go. In his digging, he remembered the fourth grade, where his dad told him liking men as a man was as wrong as sucking blood. Why had his dad said that?

Then, it clicked.

He'd told his dad he had a crush on a boy in his class. He remembered now. How his dad had freaked out and beat him. Kicked him out of the house for a night. He couldn't believe he could forget something like that.

"Uh, hi?" Dean had said to the man next to him.

"hello." Jesus, even his voice was hot. Rough and deep with a twinge of sincerity.

"Fuck."

[ididit-allofit-foryou]

RIP to my friend nixie. they stopped watching SPN after season 11. and asked about the finale. i wanted to immortalize what i sent (which includes a recap of seasons 12-15 so they would Understand.) so. read on if you wish, this monstrosity is going under the cut lol

so. in season 12 lucifer possesses the president of the united states (dont worry about it) & impregnates one of the president's staff members who was banging the president behind closed doors, republican Kelly Kline. through a series of events, cas winds up being the Adoptive Father. kid is born, but he had opened a rift to a different alternate universe the show so eloquently named 'apocalypse world'. it is a world where sam & dean were never born. through Another series of events, team free will PLUS mary winchester (yeah shes back from the dead, amara brought her back, dont worry about it lol) & cas tries to kill lucifer. he thinks he did, comes back through , and hes like there for .02 seconds before lucifer pops through & stabs cas. cas dies. mary beats up lucifer with angel brass knuckles or whatever & they fall through the rift & it closes. they are trapped there. at this exact moment, jack kline (kelly kline & lucifer/mr. president's baby) is being born. sam runs into the house to Check On That. dean however, falls to his knees next to cas's body & looks up desperately to the sky. (the cw said Not to read into this. it means Nothing. destiel who?!) also kelly died in child birth. bc spn Hates women.

thats the end of season 12.

season 13, we have jack. he popped out a fully fledged like. 19? 20? 21 year old?? bc his mom said he would have to Grow Up Fast. dean wraps cas's body in a curtain. alone. and is like crying & devastated. the bois and jack burn cas's body & dean looks like he wants to off himself (& he tries to in like. the next episode but Death brings him back). (also sorry im sooo bad at summary lol). we have the Widower Arc where dean bargains with a silent god to bring back cas, but Nothing. and dean is just fucking depressed as all shit. suddenly! cas is back!! BECAUSE jack heard dean yelling at sam about how its jacks fault cas is dead bc when jack was a fetus he showed cas a Vision of how he could bring Paradise On Earth if they allowed him to live (they wanted to kill him bc. like. Spawn Of Satan & all that). so jack uses his Powers™️ & brings cas back from the dead! yay!! a lot of other shit happens & the Empty (which is like. the Entity that encases all the angels & demons when they die, & where cas was when he was dead) Does Not Like that cas escaped. so, it wants to take jack to get back at cas. cas is like 'no fuck off thats my son lets make a deal. take me back instead' & the empty is like 'ok bitch 2 can play that game. i WILL take you. but ONLY when you experience a Moment Of True Happiness™️'. & cas is like 'bet.' bc! hes a depressed mf & figures it would take a Miracle to make him Truly Happy. (pls keep this in mind, its a surprise tool for later). ummm so yeah season 13.

season 14 had like. ANOTHER fucking michael/lucifer arc but it was Stupid. dean said yes to michael like the angels wanted in season fucking 4 & 5. & i dont Totally remember the plot but like. dean has michael trapped in a box in his mind & wants them to?? fucking?? put him in a warded coffin & chunk it in the ocean?? so michael will never hurt the world again?? also--its like. AU michael. and also mary is okay, & we get AU bobby & AU charlie & a lot of shit happens. anyway.

season 15: we get the Divorcr Arc™️!! dean & cas fight!! bc guess what? jack accidentally killed mary!! (yes! she died AGAIN!!) bc! he didnt know how to control his powers! & dean blames cas! so cas Leaves in a big dramatic breakup scene. we also find out that god (aka chuck) has been like. controlling Everything?? & free will Doesnt Exist?? & dean has a crisis & we get cas saying 'dean, you asked what about all of this is real. We Are.' (which we were apparently sooo crazy to read into!!) & also!? chuck brings back ALL the monsters salmon dean ever killed?? and rowena sacrifices herself to save the world! but! dont worry! she is now thenQueen Of Hell™️ & fucking THRIVING! anyway, season progresses, we get purgatory 2.0 and dean & cas are separated & dean lITERALLY GETS DOWN ON HIS OLD MAN KNEES TO PRAY TO CAS AND APOLOGIZE AND SAY HE FORGIVES HIM!! & then. a bit later. chuck starts poofing away Everyone On Earth bc he wants to destroy the multiverse. and also? death wants to kill dean i forget why. oh yeah! i think he stole her Death Book or whatever to try and see how to kill god. anyway. we have episode 15x18. Thee Episode of All Time. it starts with AU charlie and her gf. they are making eggs and vibing and all of a sudden her gf goes Poof. then sams gf Eileen goes Poof. so they round up as many friends as they can & put them in a warded place but they all go Poof. so sam is with the friends when this happens & also jack. and dean & cas have gone to the bunker to Fight Death. and. so. get ready for this. death shows up. she (yeah billie the reaper became death btw. long story) she starts to like. squeeze deans heart to kill him with magic. cas helps dean run through the bunker away from her. they get to the dungeon. death is literally banging on the door which cas had cut his palm to ward with a sigil of his blood with a knife he pulled from deans back pocket. (again: he cut his palm--another Surprise Tool For Later). deans like 'im so sorry man, we should have stayed with sam. shes gonna get in here, and shes gonna kill you, then shes gonna kill me' & cas is like 'well theres one thing strong enough to stop her' & he starts telling dean about the deal he made to save jack (yep, he never told him). and he says 'i always wondered what would break that curse. but i think i know now' & he. he fucking. he starts a speech about how he knows how dean sees himself, as a killer, a monster, daddys blunt instrument driven by anger, just like his enemies see him. BUT cas says dean is Not that. he says dean is 'the most caring man, the most loving man on earth' & deans like freaking out & is like 'why are you telling me all this? why does this sound like a goodbye??' & cas says, crying, but smiling, 'because it is' & then!! cas!! says !! 'i love you' !!!!!!!!! &&&&& death breaks down the door!! && the empty is materializing behind dean! & dean says 'dont do this cas!' & cas grabs deans LEFT SHOULDER WITH HIS BLOODY PALM! & says 'goodbye dean' & shoves him out of the way!! & the empty grabs cas!! && death!! & takes them away!!!!!! && dean is like!! freaking the fuck out sitting on the flooor with tears in his eyes!! && we cut to like. a bit later. hes Still there, crying, head in his hands, as his phone rings on the floor--its sam. end of the world, sam is calling, & he doesnt answer. we end the episode to deans crying. LIKE FUCK!!!!

15x19: they defeat god. jack like. absorbed him?? & he became god?? & then fucked off to do godly duties!? and did Not bring cas back????

(there are Theories that Chuck Won &thats why the next episode is so fucked and i Have To Agree)

15x20: okok. i fucking HATE THIS FUCKINGEPISDORNFMDNFNDNFNDBDND

anyway. so. cas is Not in the episode. at All. we have sam & dean? driving??? & there are like at LEAST 2 very Bad montages of random scenes that dont even make sense. sam & dean go to a pie eating festival. sam shoves pie in deans face. they Thengo on a case. its vampires. theres a vamp from like. season 2?? who was a minor charachter?? but they brought her back?? why??? idk. and. so. dean gets impaled on a rusty rebar nail during the fight scene in thr barn. he gives sam a long ass speech. they ?? touch foreheads for some reason??? && dean wont let sam get help??? & sam is like 'if cas were here...' & deans like 'yeah well he isnt.' like??? && then deAN FUCKING DIES??? && GOES TO HEAVEN??? && BOBBY IS THERE??? AND APPARENLY FUCKING ABUSIVE ASS JOHN LIVES DOWN THE ROAD??? && dean asks bobby 'so jack did all this?' (as in revamping heaven so people can be all together instead of separate like it used to be) & bobbys like 'well, cas helped' & then dean smiles, then goes?? & rides his car!?? bc his car is in heaven????? && we just see him driving interspersed with clips of sam on earth, burning deans body, and grieving dean, and later sam gets a blurry wife, we dont see who she is, and he has a son?? and he named him dean!? whixh we know bc the kid has on overalls that say 'dean' on them??? & then sam gets old and sits in the impala & cries while wearing a wig that looks like its from fucking party city?? then sam is on his death bed and his son is there?? && theres all these pictures around him of himsefl and dean & mary & john but?? no wife!? ans also!!? noone else like their friends?? & then sam dies & carry on my wayward son plays for like the second time in the episode. and we see dean on a bridge in heaven, he finally stopped driving & is staring off into the distance. and then he hears something behind him & smiles & we all thought 'CAS???' but NO its fuckingSAM somehow young again like whendean died?? & theylike. hug. and then it pans out & all the cast & crew are there?? and they say thank you to us for watching?? and then ?? its over?????? like Awhta thWHAT THE FUCK

[hidingbehindmishacollins]

i know we’re all going through ao3 withdrawals so here is the slightly unedited version of my newest fic “all i need is on the other side of the door” from the depths of my google docs. it’s got all the fixings’ (and by that i mean fluffy destiel where freckles are angel kisses and bonus dean and charlie being besties content)

find me over on ao3 at sleep_deprived when the site returns from war <3

all i need is on the other side of the door

It was just a milk run.

That’s how it started, anyway.

A quick hunt a few hours out of Lebanon. Kill some vamps, save some kids. Dean could do it in his sleep. The nest had been easy enough to track down. Nestled in an abandoned neighborhood on the edge of town, the old house perfectly fit the bill. As a result of Sam’s insistence that Dean was the best out of all of them with kids, Dean is on his own searching for hostages while Sam is off somewhere else in the house looking for the vamps. Cas went with Sam for backup in case there were more vamps than anticipated. Not to say that Sam was incapable, because every creature alive AND dead knew he was. It was just nice to know your friend with the ability to smite anything in the blink of an eye had your back. Although Dean misses having the angel at his flank, he’s glad Cas has gone with Sam for that specific reason.

Dean cringes and curses under his breath as a floorboard creaks, exposing his presence. He quickly scans the room and locks eyes with a little girl peeking out from behind the door to the basement. The kid’s eyes go wide and before she can make a run for it, Dean throws his hands up and lets the machete he has been clutching in his right hand fall to the ground. So much for the element of surprise.

“I’m here to help, kid. Are you by yourself?” he asks, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible. The girl continues to stare at him for a few seconds before slowly shaking her head and glancing back down the stairs behind her.

“Are the others down there?” he tries again, but instead of being met with an answer, the girl turns and hurries back down into the darkness. Dean sighs and pulls his phone out to text Sam as he follows her to the basement.

I think I found the kids. Meet you out front when you’re done

The stairwell is narrow and smells of old blood and death, which only makes Dean move faster. How long have these kids been trapped down here? How many have already died? He isn’t sure he wants the answer.

Once Dean finally reaches the bottom of the stairs, he tries to assess his surroundings in what little light is being provided by his flashlight. The room, however, appears to be empty, and suddenly Dean has a very bad feeling that he has just fallen into some kind of trap.

“Kid?” he calls out. His hand flies to his hip on instinct when he is met with more silence. Even though he had replaced his gun with a syringe of dead man’s blood last night, he still feels unsteady. The buzz of a phone call in his back pocket startles him and he immediately pulls it out with the hope of Sam delivering good news.

“Sammy?”

“Did you find the kids?”

“Why?”

“Dean, we were way off. The kids are not the hostages. Where are you?”

“What?” Dean chokes out, going completely still.

“It’s the adults. The kids were using them as a cover up. Where are you?”

“The basement. Sam,” Dean pauses, grip tightening on the syringe. “I don’t even have my machete.”

“What?!” Sam barks. His voice comes out in a huff of breath, suggesting that he’s running. Dean can faintly make out Cas saying something in the background. “Okay, you need to get out of there now! We’re on our way!”

Dean finally moves, spinning around with the intent to run back up the stairs, which would’ve been a great escape plan if said stairs weren’t currently being blocked by the little girl, because of course. Of course they were. He swings the flashlight around in an attempt to find any other way out only to find himself face to face with around fifteen adolescent vampires.

“Fuck!” Dean curses into the speaker before the phone falls to the ground. It dawns on him that this rescue mission is about to turn into an ambush, and he sucks in a breath as the vamps all rush him at once. Dean manages to stick one with the syringe, but his empty hands can only get him so far against the rest. The last thing he hears is Sam calling out his name on the speaker before he is violently thrown and his head connects with the concrete wall.

***

Dean eventually regains consciousness only to immediately groan in pain. The pain means he’s alive, at least. That’s a start.

“Dean?” comes a familiar voice, and all the fight leaves Dean’s body. Cas is here now, which means he must be safe. The burning smell that lingers in the air after he goes all smite-y meets Dean’s nose and comforts him further. It’s short lived, however, as another bout of pain wracks his body. Something is definitely broken. Or multiple things. Probably the latter, because that would just be Dean’s luck. Dean groans again and fights to open his eyes. They’re swollen shut, though, and he wonders just what had happened while he was unconscious to cause that.

“Dean,” Cas calls out again, much closer this time. “Both of your legs are broken. One of us has to carry you out of here.”

“You,” Dean barely chokes out, too out of it to care about what he is saying.

“What?” Cas sputters, seemingly taken aback by this response.

“Want you to do it,” he says, and Cas says nothing. Dean almost speaks again, but swallows whatever he was going to say when he feels arms hesitantly move underneath his back and knees. Cas is gonna carry me out bridal style, he finds himself thinking. Before he can even explore the meaning behind that thought, though, Cas begins to move him and the pressure on his legs is agony.

“I know, Dean. I am so sorry,” Cas says, his voice coming out strained. Dean must’ve made some sort of noise again. “I am so sorry I wasn’t here.” Dean wants to tell him to stop apologizing, but his mind becomes distracted again as the trip up the stairs jostles his whole body into more pain. “I’m sorry, Dean.” Cas sounds like a broken record, but his string of apologies is followed by the welcome feeling of grace seeping into Dean’s skin at every point of contact between them. The feeling is intoxicating as it slowly flows through each injury and mends every broken bone, patch of skin, and blood vessel it can reach. By the time Dean feels the breeze on his face, alerting him that they have made it outside, the bottom half of his body is nearly healed. His head, however, is still throbbing and he is faintly aware of the blood dripping down the back of his neck.

“My head,” he croaks, turning to tuck himself further into Cas.

“I know, Dean. My grace is working first in the places where I am touching you. I cannot help your head without dropping you.” He sounds defeated and almost like he has been crying, which is silly. Angels don’t cry, do they?

“Cas,” Dean says anyway, because he cannot seem to manage anything else. He isn’t even sure what exactly he is asking for. “Please.” At first, Dean gets no answer. As the seconds tick by, he loses faith in ever getting one.

That is, until he feels lips press gently against his forehead.

The relief is almost instant, and Dean cannot help but let out a contented sigh. The grace ebbs and flows underneath his skin, and he wonders if this is what salvation feels like. He is so overwhelmed by the feeling that he neglects to process how exactly he received the relief. Just as he hears Sam open the door to the Impala, Dean passes out again.

***

Dean woke up the next morning tucked into his bed at the bunker and immediately started to panic. Did that really happen? Had Cas really done that? Did it mean anything? Ultimately, his spiral was squashed by Sam coming in to check on him, delivering the news that Cas had left to take care of something, and Dean, in true Dean fashion, sufficed to reduce the moment down to one bore of desperation to help a friend and nothing more.

He had himself convinced that he was satisfied with this deduction right up until Charlie came to visit a week later. They had been in the middle of an episode of The Lord of the Rings (Charlie’s pick) when Dean noticed her looking at him funny. She was staring at the same spot on his forehead that he had caught Sam looking at a few times the past few days, though less subtly. Dean pickes up the remote and hits pause, which causes Charlie to suddenly look anywhere but his face.

“What is it?” he asks, hesitation lacing his voice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says rather quickly, making Dean huff.

“Charlie.”

“It’s just…”

“What?”

“It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

“It’s clearly something.”

“Okay, let me rephrase: I don’t think it is something you want to hear,” she answers slowly, moving to meet his eyes. Dean sees question and something else he can’t quite place there, and the soft spot he has for her subdues all hesitancy.

“Just tell me anyway. I know you want to,” he sighs, moving the popcorn bowl to the floor so he can turn to fully face her. She studies his face for a moment before a slow smile creeps up on her own and she moves to mirror him.

“Okay, well…you asked for it. Remember that.”

“Got it,” Dean says flatly, and Charlie has the audacity to laugh at him.

“Okay, I just noticed that you seem to have more freckles than you normally do? Which would usually be a pretty odd and obscure thing to notice, but there’s so many new freckles that I do. Right,” she starts, poking him in the middle of his forehead. “Here. There’s a new cluster.”

“Okay?” Dean replies, more confused than anything now. Why would he not want to hear this? It’s weird, but he isn’t upset by it. “Anything else?”

“Have you ever heard freckles be referred to as angel kisses?” she asks, her grin becoming impossibly larger. Dean just stares at her. “Because many people believe that freckles are where you have been kissed by an angel. So, naturally, I am just curious…”

“Charlie…,” Dean starts, but he isn’t even sure what he wants to say. She ignores him.

“Did you and Cas finally pull your heads out of your asses?” Dean cannot believe what he is hearing. Well, it’s coming from Charlie, so he can, but he still isn’t ready for it.

“I, uh,” he tries. Her eyes seem to light up even more, and he fears he has made it worse.

“No,” he says, and Charlie’s face falls ever so slightly. She manages an “oh”, and Dean rushes to tell her the full story.

“I mean, Cas did, uh, kiss me there. But it was to heal me. He was carrying me and couldn’t reach my head,” he explains. Charlie looks at him curiously and he feels his stomach flip as a mischievous look takes hold in her eyes again.

“Just to heal you?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes? Why else would he?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“God, you are such an idiot. Do you realize that?”

Dean throws his hands in the air out of frustration, but before he can question her about whatever she’s talking about further, he hears the door to the bunker open. Sam is back. Charlie notices too, causing her to squeeze his knee and stand up to go greet his little brother.

“Look, lover boy. Just think about it. And I am begging you,” she says, reaching out to touch his forehead again. “Go look in the mirror.” She giggles as she walks away, and Dean feels left in the dark. He understands what Charlie is insinuating. What he doesn’t understand is how she could possibly think that Cas feels the same way about him that Dean feels about Cas. Cas didn’t love him. Why would he?

Despite these thoughts, Dean still finds himself in front of a mirror fifteen minutes later. Now that he’s looking for it, he does notice the difference. Right where Cas had placed his lips a week prior, a new cluster of freckles had accumulated. He tries to trace a pattern with his eyes, but it just makes his head hurt after a while. This just has to be some crazy coincidence. Right? Cas has kissed other people before. Dean is well aware. He witnessed the whole Meg scene and feels guilty for how sick it had made him feel with jealously. The point is, of all the people Cas has kissed, Dean has never noticed any new freckles. Not on Meg and CERTAINLY not on April. So why him? Is it something Cas has control over? Or something Dean is overthinking that means nothing at all?

Dean eventually manages to tear himself away from the mirror, but the idea haunts him for days. The thought keeps him up at night, and thankfully Sam has the grace to not bring it up.

He caves after the fifth day.

“Dean?” he starts, and the cautious tone in his voice immediately puts Dean on edge. He freezes beside the fridge and suddenly feels cornered within the kitchen.

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Perfectly fine, Sammy.”

“Dean,” he says insistently. Dean doesn’t have the patience for this conversation.

“What, Sam? What?!”

“I know you haven’t been sleeping very well. Is something going on with you?” Dean huffs a dry laugh.

“Nothing you could help me with, believe me.” Sam looks hurts, and Dean regrets the way he phrased that sentence. “I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t worry about me, dude.”

“Dean-”

“I’ll be in my room,” Dean says, cutting him off. He grabs a beer on his way out and ignores his brother’s protests. When he reaches his bedroom, he slams the door shut behind him and lands rather ungracefully on his memory foam mattress. As if his distress could be sensed, he pulls his phone out to be greeted by a text from Charlie.

Sam told me you aren’t sleeping. Does it have anything to do with what we talked about?

Dean laughs bitterly. Of course Sam told her.

Why would you put that into my head?

He almost immediately regrets saying that once he hits send. He can see that she read it already, though, so there is no taking it back.

Oh Dean

Why don’t you just talk to him?

How am I supposed to talk to him about that?

With your words?

Not funny

Come on

It was a little funny

Not laughing

Okay old man

Anyway

It’s Cas, dude. Nothing you say to him is gonna

make him go a-wall on you

He isn’t even at the bunker right now

He hasn’t been here since that hunt

Interesting

Very interesting

Why would that be interesting?

He disappears like this all the time

You’re very stupid

And dense

It’s almost endearing

You are not helping at all

Oh really?

You want my kind of help?

I can play that game

Wait Charlie

What do you mean by that

Charlie

Charlie never answers him, and Dean throws his phone down with a grumble. He feels like a stupid teenager again and it’s miserable. All over what? Some stupid theory? He wants to throw up. He nurses his beer and feels like a pathetic mess. The minutes pass slow, and he has no idea what to think. He loves Charlie, but he doesn’t trust her. Not when it comes to stuff like this. He knows better than that. Dean moves to take another swig, but the familiar sound of feathers rustling makes him choke on it.

Dammit, Charlie!

“Dean?” Cas questions from the other side of the door, and Dean’s resolve crumbles.

“Come in, Cas,” he sighs, but it sounds broken. What is wrong with him? The angel reluctantly opens the door and appears nervous as he shuts it behind him.

“Charlie said you, um,” he pauses, and Dean notices that he’s wringing his hands. Such a human habit. “She said you wanted to talk to me.”

“So, what? You just dropped everything to come and see me?” Dean bites out. It sounds like an accusation. He supposes it is. “I thought you were too busy with angel business to come home.” Dean hadn’t realized how hurt he has been by Cas being gone for this long until now. In comparison to how long he’d been gone before, it really shouldn’t have mattered. Something had changed, though, and Dean had missed him worse than usual.

“I was trying to give you space,” Cas blurts out. His eyes fall to the floor and Dean stares at him in confusion.

“Why?”

“I had a feeling you would feel uncomfortable when you woke up regarding the way I healed your head and couldn’t bare to deal with the fallout. So I gave you space. Apparently, according to Charlie, my suspicions were correct.” Dean is having trouble processing this all. Couldn’t bare to deal with the fallout? What does that mean?

“What exactly did Charlie tell you?” Cas still refuses to meet his eyes and he hesitates before answering.

“That you have been freaking out over the freckles my healing left behind and their implications. I am sorry you have lost sleep over this.” He sounds ashamed. Dean is still confused.

“So that was you? They’re from you?”

“Yes, Dean. I apologize. I usually am able to avoid leaving a claim like that, but sometimes when I am feeling overly affectionate I lose control. I can remove them for you now.”

“No!” Dean yells immediately. Cas finally looks up at him, and this time he is the one confused. He squints and gives Dean his signature head tilt, which almost causes the hunter to fold right there. “No, Cas. We’re gonna come back to that thing about leaving a claim later, but I, uh, I like them. Yeah.”

“You do?” Cas asks, and this time Dean swears he seems hopeful.

“I do. I, uh…” Oh god. What is he doing? “Can I have more?”

“What?” Disbelief this time. Not rejection, though. Dean can work with that.

“Can I have more?”

“Dean,” Cas pleads. This time his voice is strained. It does something to Dean’s insides. “Do you understand what you’re asking me? I need to know you understand, because…”

“Because what?” Cas looks like he’s about to cry. Dean moves forward and doesn’t stop until he’s close enough to reach out and touch him.

“Because I need to know this means the same thing to you as it does to me. I don’t think I can do this if it doesn’t.” Dean reaches out and grips Cas’ shoulder, staring at his hand sitting in the same place his own body had been gripped tight and raised him from perdition.

“What does it mean to you?”

“Dean…”

“Cas.”

“I fear you will not want me around anymore if I tell you.” Dean moves both hands to lapels of his coat and pulls him close enough for their lips to brush on his next words.

“Wanna bet, angel?” And then, finally, Dean crashes their lips together. Cas lets out a sound of surprise, and Dean, honest to god, laughs into his mouth. He stops, though, when Cas starts to kiss him back.

Kissing Cas is unlike anything Dean has ever done with anyone else. He’s never had a kiss mean this much, and suddenly he’s crying. Cas’ hands are on his face, cradling him and wiping away the tears, and Dean thinks that this is what Heaven is supposed to feel like. Screw the other angels and screw God. This was Heaven. After what seems like forever, Cas pulls away and stares at Dean in astonishment. His lips are swollen, and Dean blissfully thinks I did that.

“I love you,” Dean admits. It surprises him how easy it is to say it. He watches as Cas’ eyes crinkle at the edges, filling with their own tears. I guess angels do cry.

“I love you too, Dean. So very much. You taught me how to.” The angel is smiling the biggest Dean has ever seen him, and Dean has never felt happier. He dives back in to feel that smile on his own lips, which is only met with eager enthusiasm on Cas’ part.

They spend their night like that, making out lazily in bed and riding the high that comes with finally admitting your feelings for each other after years of pent-up regression. Cas is laying in bed, curled into Dean with his eyes closed, when Charlie attempts to call him. Dean sends her to voicemail and almost instantly receives a text.

What? Too busy to give me an update?

I don’t want to disturb him

He looks peaceful

HA

OH MY GOD

I’M FUCKING AWESOME

You are

You’re welcome

I love you

I know

I take it back Han Solo

Only I can do that

I love you too

Dork

I want details tomorrow <3

***

At around three in the morning, Dean reluctantly untangles himself from the sleeping angel to take a piss. He’d been under the impression that angels didn’t sleep, but Dean wasn’t about to question it. It was Cas, the angel “cursed” with humanity. Of course he could sleep if he wanted to.

With a smile, Dean quietly pads down the hallway to the bathroom. He flicks the light on but stops short once he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Reflected back at him are new freckles around his lips and down his neck, charting constellations on his skin that he doesn’t recognize. Cas probably does. Dean grins even larger and laughs. He isn’t used to getting nice things, let alone getting to keep them.

What a wonderful feeling it is to love and be loved in return.

[awakenthemusic]

Mornin' Sunshine

Cas shuffled into the doorway, looking even more rumpled than usual. The combination of his rucked up hair, stubbled jaw, and the old Zeppelin tee that Dean had loaned him when they'd finally gotten him back from the empty several days ago, which was currently straining to contain Cas' bulging biceps, sent a rush of heat through Dean that had nothing to do with the piping-hot coffee.

Tags: Short fic, ~1,100 words, Destiel, Getting together, Dean uses actual words

For Suptober 2023 Day 9 - Starlight

Under the cut or on Ao3

Dean sighed in contentment as he took his first sip of morning coffee. Jack, Cas, and Eileen were still asleep, Sam was off on one of his runs, and Dean was taking the opportunity to enjoy the quiet in the kitchen.

No sooner had Dean had the thought than Cas shuffled into the doorway, looking even more rumpled than usual. The combination of his rucked up hair, stubbled jaw, and the old Zeppelin tee that Dean had loaned him when they'd finally gotten him back from the empty several days ago, which was currently straining to contain Cas' bulging biceps, sent a rush of heat through Dean that had nothing to do with the piping-hot coffee. (Seriously, when the hell had Cas gotten so ripped?)

With so much to distract him, Dean didn't manage to greet Cas until Cas had already started to pour his own cup of coffee. "Mornin', Sunshine," Dean said, his voice breathier than he would've liked.

Cas stiffened, suddenly setting the coffee carafe down on the counter with a thunk. "I don't..." He trailed off then stood for a long moment in silence, his fingers clenched around the handle of his mug so tight, his knuckles went white.

Finally, he turned around and Dean could see what he'd missed before during his sleepy ogling. Cas looked rough. Dark circles hung under his eyes and he looked haunted in a way that had Dean subconsciously checking for a weapon.

Cas said, "I understand if you don't want to talk about..." He grimaced. "Things."

Dean winced at the reminder of the clusterfuck in the dungeon when the empty claimed Cas, and how it had haunted his dreams ever since.

"But comparing me to the light of your system's star..." Cas frowned. "When you first said it all those years ago, I understood the phrase to be sarcastic. I am definitely not a 'morning person'."

Fuck, when did Cas doing air quotes get so adorable? Focus, Dean.

"But then," Cas continued. "You kept using it and it didn't seem to be sarcastic anymore. I had hoped..." He shook his head. "Now, though, with everything I said... You keep calling me..." Cas slumped, looking more exhausted and dejected than Dean could remember ever seeing him. "I don't understand what you mean. Please, just..."

Guilt slammed into Dean. Cas' haunted look was because of him? He'd been too chicken-shit to talk to Cas about, well much of anything since they'd gotten him back, and now...

"I mean..." Dean swallowed roughly and tried to push past the anxiety twisting in his gut. "I call you sunshine because..." I love you, never leave me again. The words stalled before they got to his throat, just like they always did.

Dean cleared his throat, nerves making him break out in a sweat despite the lingering chill in the underground bunker. C'mon Dean, just answer the fucking question! He opened his mouth and what came out was, "Because you make my day brighter." He wanted to bite back the words as soon as they left his mouth. That's the sappiest fucking thing anybody's ever said, I sound like an idiot!

Dean winced and risked a glance at Cas, sure that the lingering silence was caused by Cas holding back laughter.

Instead, Cas stared at Dean, a slight flush on his cheeks. "I... I do?"

Part of Dean's brain screamed at him to cover, deflect, joke his way the fuck out of this entire conversation, but the hope hiding just behind Cas' eyes left Dean helpless to do anything but nod.

Cas beamed, and if Dean thought the sight of Cas lit him up like the brightest sunshine when Cas was grumpy and rumpled, it was nothing compared to the fucking supernova that lit off in Dean's chest. Cas radiated pure joy, all of it directed at, and entirely because of, Dean. The ache of trying to contain so much in his chest was so strong that Dean felt tears sting at the backs of his eyes.

Suddenly, words were flowing out of Dean. "You always have. All of my plans, anytime I let myself think about the future, nothing's any good without you," He swallowed past the lump in his throat. "When I think about the good times, you're always there. Have been there, for years, you know?"

Cas nodded, his smile gone, but replaced by a wide-eyed look as he hung on every word Dean said.

"You get me, like nobody else ever has. Nobody. You're the only person I have to talk to about the shit that really bothers me, the only one besides Sam I trust to have my back when it counts, you're my..." Best friend, confidante, love of my life, none of the terms fit right, none of them seemed big enough, all of them too small for everything that Cas was to Dean. As soon as he thought of it, it came pouring out of his mouth. "You're my everything."

Dean barely registered the way Cas' breath caught, the energy in his chest flashing over into anger without warning. He was nearly shouting as he bit out, "So, no more deals, you hear me? You don't get to do that again. You don't get to just leave—" The word tore out of Dean's throat, leaving him panting, unable to see past the tears that had welled up without his permission.

This, Dean realized as he gasped for air. This is why I didn't want to talk.

The anger that Dean used as a shield, that helped him deal with feelings when they boiled over out of control like this, suddenly burst like a soap bubble, cutting off with a pathetic whimper, leaving him shaky and stripped down raw. "Don't leave," He whispered. "Please don't leave. I... I need you."

Without another word, Cas yanked Dean into a hug, wrapping both his arms around Dean's shoulders like he could wrap him up and keep him from all the hurt of the world. He whispered, his breath caressing Dean's ear, "I would move heaven, hell, earth, purgatory, and the empty to always stay by your side, Dean."

Dean sobbed out a breath and squeezed his arms around Cas' waist as tight as he could. Cas' arms tightened in response, surrounding Dean in warmth and strength, calling out to the blazing light that had been burning bright in his chest for over a decade. All the words Dean could never say welled up in Dean's throat, ready to choke him again, but this time, when he opened his mouth... "I... I love you, Cas."

The words came out rough and quiet, half-muffled against the soft cotton of Dean's old tee where it stretched over Cas' shoulder, but Cas heard, and squeezed Dean's shoulders so tight it made it hard to breathe.

Dean never wanted to be anywhere else.

[douwatahima]

idk i'm feeling kinda riled up today and i want to talk about why the fight for ofmd is so important to me.

so listen. i've been in fandoms for a loooooong time. i remember when the sheer idea of a show (that wasn't something like, say, queer as folk) having any sort of lgbt representation was a major rarity. the idea of a random character suddenly coming out in your favourite sci fi/fantasy/action show? no way in hell. and those of us in fandom kinda came to accept that. we were queering the hell out of everything we came across, don't get me wrong, but it was because the idea of a series suddenly having a character textually be queer was just…not a thing that happened most of the time.

then came the age of queerbaiting. as someone who was in the supernatural fandom from very early on, i remember how those first few seasons of the ~great destiel saga~ felt to watch. they actively hinted at and joked about their relationship! they acknowledged the elephant in the room! surely they wouldn't do that unless it meant something!!! but then of course came the years and years of the cast and crew sneering at the people who had the audacity to…listen to the words that came out of the character's mouths and have thoughts about them. and yeah, eventually (like a decade later) cas told dean he loved him, but even now the people who worked on the show seem reluctant to say that that was a romantic moment. and that's just one example that i'm more intimately familiar with! there are so many others! just straight up gaslighting queer fans so they can keep making money off of us with no intention of actually giving us what we want; all while acting like they were doing us a favour by doing anything at all.

and it sucked! it clearly sucked! but the more time went on the less surprising it became. because at the end of the day it came down to what it always comes down to; money. there's this idea (not just in media) that there are certain people who are the "default". people whose experiences are universal and easy to understand. white people. straight people. cis people. when it comes to media, stories about these people are seen as something anyone can watch and understand. but when you try to tell stories about people who fall outside of these categories? well, now you're making niche content that only people who fall into that niche will be able to identify with.

and look, i know i'm preaching to the choir here. this is tumblr. we all know there's a lot of racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia in the world. my point is that the narrative around queerbaiting from an industry standpoint seemed to be "yeah, we want the ad revenue from all of these lgbt people watching our shows, but if we commit to actually making any of our characters queer we're going to isolate our straight audience and lose most of our viewers". and there was never any concrete way to disprove that. so yeah. we would occasionally be blessed by a ~very special show~ that actually depicted queerness (usually about younger people coming out, or about the tragedies that can and have faced people in our community), but the idea of branching out beyond that seemed like a no go.

and then along came our flag means death. a show about pirates that also talked about toxic masculinity and had characters who were casually queer in every different variety and also featured people with different body types who came from different cultures and who were all treated with kindness and grace. a show that didn't necessarily market itself specifically as ~a queer show~ (which, was probably in part due to trying to bury the lead which sucks, but the point still stands) but rather a fun show anyone could watch. that wasn't specifically about coming out or tragedy but was more so about joy, and community, and love. and here's the thing. here's the wild as fuck thing that happened. this show? it didn't lose all of its viewers when those last two episodes of season 1 aired and it confirmed without a shadow of a doubt that ed and stede were in love. the opposite happened. this show fucking soared into the stratosphere.

i remember the first time i saw those parrot analytics charts showing that ofmd was the most in demand new series; out performing marvel even. i was so overcome i legit broke down in tears. because it turns out all of those times i had been told to sit back and accept the scraps i was given because that was all my community was profitable enough to get, those people were wrong. we could've had this the whole time! WE COULD'VE HAD THIS THE WHOLE TIME!!! and as the weeks progressed and ofmd remained at the top of every chart, as the show continued to succeed, i felt such an immense amount of joy! those people were wrong! we can just have this and it'll do well!!!

and yeah, apparently that wasn't enough to convince the powers that be. they spent forever deciding whether to renew it and when they finally did the budget was cut nearly in half and the people at max decided they needed to oversee the show a lot more. all of this sucks. but the thing is they made season 2 and they fucking did it again! the show got even better critics scores than last time! the show was doing numbers better than season 3 of succession! the merch, only released in october, became some of the best selling merch of 2023 on the max shop! by max's own admission season 2 was one of the biggest hits of the year for them!!! like, what more is there? the show is a success!!!

so yeah. i'm not going to accept the fucking stupid excuses max gives as to why they cancelled it. saying that it didn't have the numbers (it did), or that they didn't know how to market violence (they do), or that it didn't have awards buzz (it has literally been nominated for awards and there's still active fyc ads the company itself made) just doesn't cut it. there was no reason to cancel it other than the idea that diverse media "doesn't sell". and max, by airing this show you have shown me that that fucking isn't true. it's never been true. so i'm going to keep fighting for this one until someone picks it up or until i'm old and grey because it isn't just about ofmd. it's about the belief that our stories, the stories of people who aren't "the default" are worth telling. by every metric they are worth telling. and that is something that i know is worth fighting for.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 100 Transcript: Is Destiel Kinda Real?

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello! It's Grey.

C: Hello! It's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show many times...

C: And I, someone who only knows about the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we will be discussing Season 5, Episode 18: “Point of No Return,” written by Jeremy Carver, directed by Phil Sgriccia, or is this a different person? 'Cause it says "Philip Sgriccia." Is this a different dude?

C: That's probably the same person.

G: Yeah. But what if it's like, Phil's son Philip? You know? [laughs] Or something.

C: No, the Wiki link goes to the same guy.

G: But why is it Philip Sgriccia suddenly? Did he change his name?

C: I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he decided that he prefers to go by Philip.

G: I think. Yeah, I think he like, shifted. Happy transitioning or something. [laughs] Anyway, Mr. Phillip Sgriccia directed this episode. I would like to say... this episode is good.

C: Yeah, I was surprised. Like, I feel like I go back and forth on Supernatural a lot. But like, this is like, this was pretty good, yeah.

G: The thing is like, you know, when we say "good episode," we always have that thing where it's like, "It's a good episode of Supernatural." But this one is a good episode, period. If you tell me, “Watch this TV episode,” I'll be like, “That's a good episode of television.”

C: Okay, I wouldn't go that far. [laughs]

G: I would say it is, I would say it is. It sets out to do something, and it does it successfully. [laughs] [C: Yeah, yeah.] Yeah. And it's compelling. It does something. I think that's the thing that got to me the most, like-

C: Uh-huh. That it does something? [both laughing]

G: [laughing] The bar is on the floor.

C: No other TV has ever done this before. You guys seeing this? This episode tries to do something! [laughs]

G: [laughs] It's not that no other TV has done it. I think that this is what it's supposed to do. This is the status quo, and it achieved the status quo of what television is supposed to do.

C: Yeah, okay, yeah. I believe it. I see it.

G: You know how in the past, maybe just between the two of us, honestly, we have complained about seeing the bricks that make up the story, and how that's like, not fun. This one is like, I can see the bricks that make up the episode, but I love it. Like, I appreciate it. It makes me appreciate the writing. It's compelling. Not just plot. Honestly, the plot is like, the least of your concern in this episode, I feel like, for me. I'm like, "Don't give a shit." But like, every character you meet, for example, you're like, "That's a compelling way to write that character going through that situation." And like, yeah, it does it well. It tries to do something, it does it. [laughs]

C: Yeah, also, Cas is on screen a lot and is hot. [G: Yeah.] And also, I think that this episode actually thinks about Sam's perspective. [G: Exactly.] Which is a rare event.

G: That's what I'm saying. That, like, it's character-driven. It's a character-driven episode, [laughing] which cannot be said about literally any other episode of Supernatural, it feels like. Like, it's actually, genuinely good. And it focuses on Sam, but it's not Sam-centric. Fuck, it's not even Dean-centric! It's just like, it's characters in a thing. And I don't know. I really like that. Because sometimes we'll have what we call a Sam episode, and it'll be an episode that considers Sam, and particularly because it's Sam-centric. But this one is like, you can have an episode that is not like, a quote-unquote "Sam-centric episode" and still have his character come out so much. Like, that is a possibility in the TV show Supernatural. Yeah, I feel like moving forward, this can be an episode I compare to to like, "Why can't they do this here? They did it in 'Point of No Return'!" You know what I mean? [C: Yeah.] They do the characters so well, and they write them so well, and I appreciate it. I love it! [laughs] I'm like, "I wuv Supernatural." [laughing] Does anyone- is anyone surprised? No. But, like, I am, kinda.

Well, Crystal, what did you know about this episode before you watched it?

C: I knew that Cas beats Dean up in an alley for wanting to say yes to Michael [G: Hell yeah.] and them brings him back, and Sam goes, "What happened to him?" and Cas goes, "Me."

G: Me!

C: Meee! [G laughs]

G: He literally goes, "Meee!" [laughs]

C: And also that Adam gets yoinked from Heaven, where his best memory is making out with his girlfriend on prom night, to be Michael's vessel instead. And then I don't think that I knew the rest very well.

G: Yeah. I knew everything that happens in this episode, and it is also an episode that previously, I have seen a lot of analysis of, and I have also dedicated, like, because of that, seeing analysis of it, I think I've also dedicated some time in my life thinking about it in that way more than most episodes of Supernatural. And like, I think re-watching it, I understand. Seeing it all put together in this way, I understand why it has garnered such analysis. [laughs] Like, I understand. Because so many of the- there's so many distinct characterizations, so it's so fun to sink your teeth into.

G: I'm not sure I'll cut this if that's not true.

C: Oh, yeah, should we mention the 100th episode-

G: Oh, yeah. And also, this is the 100th episode of Supernatural, and [both] of BABPod!

C: - which is far more important.

G: So if you've listened to us all this while, episode 1 up until now, if you're a new listener, if you're listening from the future, years from now, and you're like, "Wow! What did they think of 5.18, the 100th episode of Supernatural?" welcome! Thank you so much for listening. It really has- it's been wonderful. I love doing this podcast. Thank you so much to everyone [C: Yeah, thank you.] who- like, not to plug our Ko-Fi, but, like, literally, everyone who's given us money on that thing, thank you so much as well. I really appreciate it. [C: Yeah.] Everyone who has ever emailed us, messaged us, anything, it's such a wonderful thing that we get to do this and that we are doing it, even if nobody wants it. And people do actually want it, still! So like, you know, it's great. Love it! Yeah. Let's start the episode.

-

C: Okay. Well, there's a "Then" sequence that is really nothing. It's just Zachariah complaining about not being able to get them to say yes to Lucifer and Michael, and then we find out who Adam is, and that he got eaten by ghouls, and that's the "Then" sequence. And also, Dean goes to Lisa.

G: Ah. I thought you were talking about the teaser, and I was like, "How dare you say that that was nothing."

C: Oh, no, that was wonderful!

G: - "I think that's wonderful." Yeah! I was kind of offended. But yeah, the "Then" sequence, whatever the fuck. But the teaser is quite wonderful. It's quite wonderful. And the thing is like, Zachariah dies this episode, and I feel like this is a pretty good last hurrah for his character. Because for the first time in this entire season, I feel like, I'm like, "I like this dude again." Like, "This is fun." And it is pretty fun. And I'm also glad he died, I really am, but I'm glad that in his last moments, we were able to savor and bring back the things about his character that actually make him fun, you know? I think what it is just there's women this episode. [both laugh] It could very well be that.

C: There's one female angel briefly, of the four that Cas sends off.

G: This is true, yeah, but nobody has a speaking line. And Zachariah does not speak to any of them, which is, [C: True. A win.] you know, why his character works, I guess. [C laughs] Yeah.

C: How horrible! So yeah.

G: So it's Zachariah. He's in a bar. He's drinking, and he's in his suit and tie, corporate outfit, and the guy next over in the bar is like, “Hey, dude, did you also get fired?” And he's like, “Yeah, man, you can say that,” or whatever the fuck. And like, they start bonding about being fired! [C laughs] And it's so fun. At some point, Zachariah goes, "Yeah, oh, it's like, they don't care about at all, everyone. It's like they don't understand what being here means, you know?" And he's like, "Oh, it's so horrible! They should be here, down on the ground in the mud, nose-to-nose with all you pig-filthy humans, am I right?" And the dude beside is like, "Yeah, of course! Wait, what did you just say? What's that?" [C laughs] He's like, "Yeah, it's so fucking- Have we never heard about personal loyalty?" [laughs] Love that. He's like, “I should have tenure right now.” [C: Real.] And he should have. He worked for five millennia, six, maybe, which is his words. Is that true? [C: I mean-] I mean, I suppose so, but like, is it?

C: Yeah. But why is the world only 5,000 or 6,000 years old?

G: Why is existence- Or is it, like, he's talking about, like, the Earth, specifically?

C: Yeah, it could be Earth. It could be this specific role.

G: Yeah, it could be, like, this specific job posting, yeah. He had one job, and it was literally to make Dean Winchester say yes or something, and he didn't do it. He asks this dude, "So what are you gonna do next?" And the guy's like, "I don't know, man. Maybe something about the Internet." And Zachariah's like, "Yeah?" [both laughing] [C: Like encouragingly.] Like, he's genuinely like, "Yeah? Mm-hm? Mm-hm? So true." And suddenly, the bar starts shaking. I always love the effect that they do for this kind of thing. Like, it does actually feel how I think they're trying to make it feel. And yeah. Bar shakes, bottles flipping over, and then, you know, the piercing sound of the angel, and then the guy's eyes just burn out.

C: They're all- Yeah, it's very fun, because the whole time, Zachariah’s just standing there like, “Ugh, here's my boss again. Get it over with," like, to the guy who's covering his ears and eyes burning out and screaming and blood coming out and shit.

G: Yeah. Zachariah just opens his arms out to the Heavens, just goes like, "Yeah, let's just fucking go." I love it. He's like, "Wow, I did badly at my job, and now they're gonna take me out back and shoot me." [both laugh]

C: And they actually are. He says later that "Firing is literal."

G: And they literally were gonna take him out back and shoot him. And yeah, suddenly, this angel voice tells him something else. And he's like, "Okay, sure! I'll do that!" And he's like, so happy, and he turns around. His buddy is dead. [C laughs] The bartender's dead. And there's a drink of whiskey at the table, and he picks it up, and there's a giant shard of glass in it. [C laughs] He takes out the shard of glass, he drinks the whiskey, puts it down, [C: So good.] puts the glass shard back. Love that. I think that's so fun. And he's like, “Okay, back to business, boys!" And then he hums a tune as he gets out of that bar into the world.

C: Wonderful.What a fun time. When's the last time we had a good cold open like that?

G: I mean, something akin to this, I would say probably, it even goes way back to like, 4.16. That's "On the Head of a Pin," right? [C: Yeah.] I think that was the last time I was like, "Oh my god! Like, Supernatural is so cool." which you you would think that, like, for a cold open, that is the point the cold open. To make you go, "I'll keep on watching." But very rarely does it achieve this? [both laugh]

C: Yeah, this is true. This is true.

-

C: Anyway. So we're at a motel, and Dean's preparing himself to saying yes to Zachariah, so he's doing all this goodbye stuff. And he's packing [both laughing] four items into a box, and they are... his dad's leather jacket, the keys to the Impala, his special little gun, and a letter to Sam.

G: So true. No letter to Bobby!

C: And he's addressing it to "Robert Singer." Like, [laughs] he isn't even giving Bobby the comfort of, like, his familiar name on this box that he's gonna ship.

G: Well, you need to fucking ship that thing with the name. Is that true? Or it just needs to be a name that the person recognizes?

C: Yeah, it doesn't have to be a legal name as long as you have address on. [G: This is true.] It doesn't even have to be the name of someone who lives at that address. Like, the mailperson isn't gonna check.

G: Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Well, sometimes they do if they're looking for an ID.

C: Yeah, I suppose so.

G: But that's so fucked up. No one should ever see my ID.

C: Yeah, that's true. He does have a gun in this. Maybe, like, he has to check some special boxes at the post office.

G: Yeah, maybe he was going to write "Bobby Singer, you're like a father to me" in the box, [C laughs] and then the post office was like, "Nah, there's a gun in here. You need to put a fucking ID name." And he's like, "Oh, damn it. [C: Damn it.] I would have put 'You're just like a father to me for real!' on it otherwise."

C: Yeah. And okay, this scene, the sad music that they chose is kinda cringe.

G: It's comical. It's so funny. Also, the way they're like, "Dean is so sad! He's drinking!" and to differentiate Dean's drinking now from literally all the other times he has drunk, which is like, in every possible emotional situation. [laughs] [C: Yes.] Like, literally every emotion he's been in, we've seen him drink. But the way we differentiate this, he does it slowly. He's like, emo about it. [laughing] [C: Yeah.] It's so- It's so funny, I will admit. [C: Yeah.] I will admit, when this scene played, I was like, "Wow, we had such a really good teaser." And then this scene starts playing, and I'm like, [C: I did start laughing.] "Maybe I had too much hopes so much in Supernatural being able to pull this off 'cause it's so ridiculous." [C laughs]

C: Yeah, yeah. And I don't know. I think it's supposed to be like, "Isn't it so sad that this is all he leaves behind?" But, like-

G: Yeah. All of his dad's stuff, too.

C: Yeah, yeah. Okay, I did pause on the letter. Did you?

G: What did you- No, I didn't. I didn't give a shit.

C: Okay, so his head is still blocking half of it, so, okay, so the parts I can make out: "I'll be surprised if," something, "you, but if it does," something. "That what I'm going" or, sorry, "that what I'm doing isn't," something. "Taught us better than that," something. "We've run out of it. Where I'm going, we don't... Know you'll look after her for," which I'm assuming is about the Impala.

G: - Lisa. Oh, no?

C: "Taken more for the team..." So true, he has. "... ever asked. That makes you an" something "Winchester in my book." I'm assuming it's "alright" or, like, something like that. [G: Yeah.] And then, "You told me once that you pray," blank. "Not sure if that's still true. Probably not. But if it is, give it one last try," [G: Aw!] blank, "Sammy, one Winchester," blank, "enough. When it's over," and then that's all of it. But yeah, I did get emo on the "You told me once that you pray every day. I'm not sure if that's still true. Probably not. But if it is, give it one last try." Like, that's nice. I'm glad that they called back to that in some way.

G: Yeah. Is Sam ever gonna read this letter? I don't know why I'm asking you. I'm supposed to be the person who's watched the show.

C: Like, I mean, they do take the box back, I'm assuming, 'cause Dean is gonna get his items back, and he drives the Impala this episode. I don't know if he would try to hide the letter from Sam when they were, like, reopening the box or not.

G: Yeah. I mean, mostly I was disconcerted by Dean's writing posture. [both laugh] Because I'm an asshole, as we have established, and I'm a pedant about everything, so all reflective of my negative traits, none of his, unfortunately. [C laughs] [pause] [laughs] That's literally it. That's what I have to say.

C: Okay. What was his posture?

G: It's like- Look at it. Like, his hand is like- he's gonna get cramps.

C: Oh, you mean his pen grip.

G: - in there. Yeah, his pen grip, it's like a tripod grip, but like, really disconcerting. I don't know. I'm just judgmental, as we have established, so it doesn't matter at all. If you write exactly like Dean Winchester, you're probably fine. You should probably relax a bit, though, [laughs] is my hot take. Is his handwriting nice? What do you think? I was kind of impressed because there's no lines on this stationary. [laughs] [C: That's true.] And his lines are so straight, [C: Just like him.] and I find it fun. Find it impressive, even.

G: Yeah. No, that's not true. I need to say no, I feel like. [C laughs]

C: Not in this episode. It's not true, yeah. [G laughs]

G: Let's talk about it when we get to it.

C: The lines are pretty straight, yeah. I think it's nice that none of the letters run into the other letters. I feel like that takes some skill.

G: What are you talking about?

C: Like, the letters aren't connected to each other. [G laughs] [G: Ohh!] Like, it's not like, half-cursive.

G: It's not fake cursive, fake- yeah. Why does it take skill to do that?

C: I think if you're writing fast in pen, it'll just bleed. But this is like, a shitty motel pen, so you actually have to press pretty hard for each line, so.

G: Yeah, that's why he's really pressing so hard. It's because of the shitty motel pen. [C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.] I'm sorry, Dean Winchester. [C: Sorry, Dean Winchester.] Buy a nice pen! Like, you have a journal, you fucking sustain that shit. Buy a nice pen, is one of my recommendations.

C: I mean, he cut and ran. He didn't bring all his stuff with him.

G: Yeah, this is true.

C: That's why he only has four things to put in the box.

G: He won't be like, "Let me bring my ink and my fountain pen to this fucking spontaneous saying yes to Michael excursion." [C: Exactly.] Couldn't it be me. I'd bring it. [C laughs]

C: You know, he's very somber. He's drinking. He's doing all this. As he tapes the box shut, he hears Sam's voice behind him. [G: Agh!] Sam goes, "Sending someone a candy gram?" And Sam looks bad this scene. [G laughing] Sorry to Sam Winchester and maybe to Jared Padalecki?

G: I'm endeared by him this episode because they do something with his makeup, or maybe they do less with his makeup. Like, maybe he just has less makeup.

C: His cheeks are rosy in a way that makes him look ill in this scene.

G: No, but I love it! I love it. You know, when I put on- 'Cause the way I put on my makeup is kind of like, I'm trying to do a masc look, whatever. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] Why am I laughing at that? It's not funny! [laughs] It's kind of stupid. It's kind of goofy when I do it. But like, I think when you're trying to do a masc look, the way I do it is like, I put it in that part of my face so it looks like I'm kinda, like, flush or whatever, but, like, naturally. Like, the way you would do if you're running a lot. I think they were trying to do that with him this episode. They watched the exact same YouTube video tutorial on how to do masculinizing makeup that I did, [C laughs] and they did it to Jared Padalecki. Or maybe Sam did it. He was like, "Before I go to Dean Winchester, before I follow my brother, who is potentially going to say yes to Michael, I'm going to stand in front of this motel room mirror and do my makeup," and he's so real for that.

C: So true. Dean is surprised that Sam is here, but Sam goes, "You're going to kill yourself, right? It's not too hard to figure out the stops on the farewell tour. How's Lisa doing, anyways?"

G: Why?

C: First off, I don't- I guess he saw her in Dean's mind in "Dream a Little Dream of Me."

G: But the thing is, you know, if one of my sisters, I got into their dreams, and it's just some random woman in there, I'll be like, "Okay." Like, I won't think about it. [C laughs] You know what I mean? Like, "Yeah, you dreamt about this woman." It won't be like, "Wow! She has always been- This has always been your dream, to be with Lisa"? Yeah.

C: Yeah, I don't know. Sam Winchester- That's because you have like, a full life, and you can think about other things. But Sam Winchester doesn't even have a podcast. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. The true, like, in the Maslow hierarchy of needs, [laughs] the podcast, that's self-actualization, and Sam Winchester couldn't even have it.

C: Exactly. So he stopped by and- I still don't know why- how that would help if Dean left. Is this like, a motel very near where Lisa lives?

G: Probably. Or it's like- Actually, I don't know, because you can do this from anywhere. You can do what Dean is doing right now from this side of the road, like, honestly. So like, why this motel room, specifically?

C: Yeah, I mean, I guess the Impala is a pretty distinct vehicle.

G: Yeah. Maybe he did his like, slow walk inside in like, [laughs] multiple rooms now. And the other rooms were like, "Who the fuck are you?" And he's like, "Sowwy! I thought you were my brother." And so yeah, this is his fifth try.

C: And Dean says, "I'm not going to kill myself," and Sam goes like, "No? So Michael's not about to make you his Muppet?" And he starts getting angry at Dean for "just walking out," as he puts it. And Dean's just like, "Yeah, okay. I'm gonna do it. Yup." And Sam goes, "How could you do that?" And then Dean says [laughs] the most ridiculous sentence ever! He goes, "How could I? All you've ever done is run away!" [G laughs] You're right. Going to college is the same thing as this. I don't get it. I don't get it.

G: Also, do we need to interface with this scene as like, a suicide attempt the way Supernatural is doing so?

C: Yeah, maybe. By interface, you mean laugh less [G: Yeah.], or just discuss it-

G: Maybe we should bring that up. Or like, I don't know. I mean, let's bring it up when Bobby quite equally equates them.

C: I mean, Sam quite equally does it by saying the words "kill yourself."

G: [laughing] Yeah, he said, "Kill yourself," specifically. No context around it. [C: Exactly.] Yeah, anyway, this is the framing. That is the framing of this scene, as a suicide attempt.

C: Yeah. I mean, I think the note is very clear, [G: Yeah, of course.] and the lingering shot on the gun before Dean puts it in the box, I think you're supposed to go, "Is he gonna do it?"

G: Yeah. You know, I did think to myself, "Why don't they just kill themselves?" [laughs]

C: No, literally. Literally, literally- [G: Why?] Like, Season 5, like, to Sam and Dean's perspective is like, "This is a whole season about how, like, you can't escape fate, and like, no matter what, we're gonna have to say yes to Lucifer and Michael." But like, it is also a season, where in two different episodes, like, in "Song Remains the Same" and "Dark Side of the Moon," like, an alternative is presented very clearly, which is that "If you're dead, you can't do it."

G: I mean, the thing is, that's why they went to Heaven, pretty much. To be like, "No, they can't die, 'cause you see, in Heaven, Zachariah is still gonna chase them" and blah blah blah. I think just go to Hell, honestly. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, literally just go to Hell. Make a demon deal and [G: Like, maybe just go to Hell or something.] be like, "Make it last like, two days. Thank you!"

G: "Thank you!" That's it. [C: Thankies!] Do you think you can do that like? Can you be like, "Ah, fuck! I've killed a guy. I'm already going to Hell, anyway. Why don't I get a demon-" demon degree? [laughs] What's the fucking thing? [C: Deal?] Demon deal, yeah. I think I was confusing deal and agreement, and I was like, "That's kind of like a degree. Well." Can you get a demon deal that's like, "Okay, but like, it'll be chill." Like, the deal is like, "I'll live my life the way it is, but when I go to Hell, you won't torture me as much"? Or is it like, you're already going to Hell, and that's all they need, and they kind of need to torture. I feel like they don't.

C: I don't think there's anything else that- if you're already going to Hell, you can't make the deal, I think.

G: Well, it could also be you could make the deal, so they're like, "Ah, this person was gonna go to Heaven, but now they're gonna go to Hell." And then you start, you know, being like, "Now, I'm free from all inhibitions. I could just kill a guy." [laughs] [C: True.] Yeah, much to think about.

C: Much to think about. Dean says that saying yes to Michael's the exact same thing as going to college. [G: Love that.] And, okay, "all you've ever done." Like, this happened, like, what? Three times, max? Like, when Sam was a little baby kid [G laughs] and he wanted to play with a dog and eat pizza, when Sam went to college, and then when Sam quit hunting for a little bit. [G: So true.] Whatever. I guess this is what the episode is saying. And Sam goes, "And I was wrong. Every single time I did."

G: He was literally not. [laughs] Like, I don't know who's telling you this, Sam, but you were literally not.

C: Like, I don't get it. I'm so confused. I don't get it. But whatever. Whatever. This is what he believes right now. Sam tries to claim the Bobby’s working on something, but you know, there's nothing really going on there. And Sam tells Dean, "You know I have to stop you." And Dean, I think just reaching for something hurtful, goes like, "You could try. But just remember, you're not all hopped up on demon blood this time." [G: Yeah.] And Sam's like, "Yeah, but Cas is here!" [G: Yeah.] And he is, and he knocks Dean out. Cas looks so beautiful this episode.

G: Love Cas. It is kind of astounding. Like, the thing with Cas is, in this episode, specifically, I think I've realized why I love him so much, and it's because something corny, tired, or played out will be happening on screen, and I can just completely zone out and just look at him. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] I think this may be the case. Oh my god! He looks so good this episode!

C: Yeah. [G: Yeah.] And he had to shave his chest as a fa- Was he a father of two at this point?

G: I think he was a father of zero, perhaps.

C: Yeah. Well, this father of zero had to shave his chest at some point.

G: Yeah. Wonderful. Wonderful experience. And he, like, takes off his tie. Ah, lovely! Also, regarding the saying to Sam, that like, you know, as a way to hurt Sam that Sam's going to drink demon blood again or something-

C: Well, just that he can't stop him because he's not strong enough without the demon blood, yeah.

G: Yeah, I think one of the more distinct ways that these actions have been discussed in this episode is like, how every single person he interacts with, he like, specifically, like, Sam, Dean, and Bobby- Sam, Cas, and Bobby.

C: Ohh, yeah. He was trying to- it's the "You're not my dad." It's the demon blood thing for Sam. [G: Yeah.] But for Cas, it's like, “Oh, you wanna fuck me? You wanna fuck me?”

G: Yeah. Which I think is true, and I find it incredibly amusing that this is how he goes about it. [C: Yeah.] And with Sam, it's kind of straightforward. With Bobby, it's also straightforward. It's also just kind of stupid. Also, the thing Bobby pulls is incredibly funny. [both laughing] Bobby really said, "You're suicidal? Well, I'm about to kill myself!" [both laughing] He is so real for that.

C: [laughing] Should we be laughing less?

G: I think we should be laughing less. But literally, I was like, "This is a typical-" like, when you're like, a late teenager, and all of you and your group of friends are so miserable, this is like, a typical conversation you have. [C laughs] It's so funny! And with Cas, you know, like, it is a taunt about, like, what you already sacrificed. Because I think Dean does understand that Cas did all of this because of some fondness for Dean or some trust to him or something, and the way that all the characters react to it is also so wonderful. Like, the way all the characters react to it is, Dean goes, "Bobby, you're not my dad," and then Bobby goes, "No, I have treated you like a son, so you don't get to say that to me." And the way Sam reacts to it is, "It doesn't matter to me if you think that way, because I still trust you." [C: Yeah.] Which are like, similar ideas, but they're also, like, they have such distinct differences that I think make them both interesting on their own right. And with Cas it's like, “Okay, fine. Fuck you, then!” [C: Yeah.] [laughs] Which I also love. And like, yeah, I think it's- This is what I'm saying. Like, the episode does something, and it does it so clearly, so distinctly, and so well. I'm like, impressed! Oh my god! Jeremy Carver, maybe he had it in him this whole time.

C: Maybe he did.

-

G: Now they're in Bobby's place, and Dean is just like, complaining and being like, “Oh, what the fuck are we doing here?" Also, like, this did remind me of that one post that was like, "Why the fuck do we say 'screwing pooches'? Like, that's so stupid," [both laugh] and it is stupid as fuck, and Dean says it this scene. [C: Yeah.] And yeah, he's just complaining. And he's like, obviously doing it to piss everyone off. And Bobby goes, "Dean, you're not helping,” and Dean goes, " Yeah. Well, why don't you let me get out of your hair, then?" [laughing] is that a dig on Bobby being bald?

C: [laughing] I don't think so, but-

G: Bobby seems so offended. He's like, “What happened to you?" Is that like-

C: I mean, I think he's just offended because [laughing] what Dean's saying regarding like, you know, like, "Let me go say yes to Michael," but you know what? Dean did make a bald joke two episodes ago. Maybe this is who he is now.

G: Yeah. Also, I mean, we've never seen Bobby's hairline, I feel like, except for when he was dying or something, right?

C: Yes?

G: Like we've seen his hairline once, so it must be a point of insecurity.

C: We also saw when he was being an FBI agent in that suit in the- 3.01.

G: Yeah, bit difficult to hide it if you're not wearing a cap.

C: He should've worn a top hat.

G: He should have. Dean's still complaining. Bobby reiterates their point, which is that "We've got to save as many people as possible, and you let that the Apocalypse happen, that's not going to be the case." But Dean's like, "Well, whatever, man. You can say that. But if it all goes down and it all goes to shit anyway, even worse than what it would have been if I didn't say yes to Michael, that's gonna be on me.” And Bobby goes, "You can't give up, son." [C: "Son."] [both laugh] Corny as hell. Is that mean? [C: Maybe.] And Dean goes- [lauhging] Yeah, it is because-

C: "[British] You're not my father!"

G: "[British] You're not my father!" [C laughs] "And you're not in my shoes."

C: Bobby opens his drawer, and he pulls a gun out, pretty deliberately sets it on the table.

G: And he takes a bullet out, single one.

C: - of his pocket, puts it on his desk. Both Sam and Dean look pretty shocked. And Bobby explains that, like, “This is the bullet that, every morning, I think about using to kill myself. But I don't do it. I never do it. You know why?" And then he shouts - I don't want to do the shouting - "Because I promised you I wouldn't give up!" which, I think I'm glad to see a call back to “Curious Case” like that [G: Yeah.] 'cause I feel like, in some ways, it was like, "Oh, we just set the Bobby mental health thing to rest after that." [G: Yeah.] I mean, we revisited it slightly when Karen came back, when Bobby said, “No, I'm not going to be okay.” It's good to see that there's a follow through to that.

G: Yeah. And like, you know, the way Dean talked about it, the last time they did it was like, “Let's never talk about this ever again,” or, “I don't wanna hear about this ever again.”

C: Yeah. "Shut the fuck up about this," yeah.

G: And like, the point Bobby is making here is that "I kept that promise," which I think is a pretty good way to call back to that kind of dialogue. Yeah, I love it. Pretty good. I mean, I laughed about it earlier, not like, laughed about it, but you know what I mean. I did laugh about it. [C laughing]

C: Yes, you did.

G: No, but I mean, I genuinely like this scene.. And like, yeah, I like, what it's trying to tell. That like, "You say I can't ask things out of you, but you asked things out of me, and I did it." And it's not an actual rebuttal to that "You're not my father." because he can't rebut that. Like, that's a fact. Like, he is not Dean's father. This is more of a like, "We're on each other's side, and we are family," which I like. I like that it isn't like, “Who's the one who was there when your dad was a deadbeat dad?" And it's removed from the concept of being a father to Dean. It's, you know, "You asked me, and I did it for you. So why don't you give me the same respect? Why don't you give me the same- why don't you reciprocate this thing that I did for you?" which I appreciate. I like that.

C: Yeah. And it was established in the Karen episode that Bobby's one of the reasons that Sam isn't saying yes, so like, yeah. They didn't really bring up Dean in that episode, right?

G: What are you talking about?

C: In the- shit, I forgot the name of the episode. But he says "Death did this to me because I'm one of the people keeping you from saying yes to Lucifer," but he's talking to Sam, only. [G: Yeah.] But yeah, I guess it's been established that Sam and Dean are the people keeping each other from saying yes, and then Bobby's a bonus for Sam, but he is also a bonus for Dean. [laughs]

G: As soon as Bobby finishes this part, Cas goes into heat part two or something. [both laugh] He's like, “Something's happening." He's hunched over. He's in pain. And then he just disappears. And I love the effect that they do, which is that they throw paper around the room every time Cas appears or disappears. Love it. There is this honestly beautiful scene. And like, some shots of it are a bit wonky, the ones that are very obviously CGI. But otherwise, I think it's quite nice, and it's quite nice, a different look for the episode, which pretty much a lot of it is set in Bobby's place. But now they're like in a- is this a woods? I don't think it's woods, necessarily. But it's large green space, and it has become flattened, just like in 4.01, but now, in a different way. And there's so many trees fallen over, and there is a thing on the ground that Cas is like, "What the fuck is that?" And Cas goes forth and tries to touch it, but then he gets attacked. A wonderful fight scene ensures. Every time Cas has a fight scene, [laughs] it's so wonderful. [C: Yeah.] And I feel like either Misha Collins got better at the fight scenes versus in Season 4, or they got better at shooting it. They got better shooting around him or something. But the choreography itself is also really good. Like, this is the iconic blade flip. [C: Yes.] You know the one. Everyone knows the why.

C: Yes. The twirly-twirl.

G: Yeah, angel blade twirl. And yeah, there's just this really fun bit where- does he have two angel blades at this scene?

C: No, I think he nabs one from the first person he kills.

G: So he's fighting one of the angels, and then somebody goes up to him from behind, and then he uses that angel’s angel blade to shoot the angel in front? I'm not particularly sure, but it's pretty cool. And yeah, this is also the one where he brings a guy down, and we see a bottom-up shot of Cas stabbing a dude. [C: Mm, yeah.] Which is also iconic. Honestly, love Cas! [C: Yeah.] And I only say this-

C: You've never said this before. [G: Yeah.] Do you wanna pause and discuss this? You- you love Cas?

G: Yeah. Every other time I've said it, I was dishonest, [C laughs] but now, I am saying it honestly. [C: Real.] Love it. It's so fun to see him fight. And I don't know what the logic behind it is. I have given it some thought because I don't really feel like that kind of joy seeing anyone else fight in the show, you know what I mean? Like, it's just a Cas thing. Maybe I just love him differently.

C: I think it's because his trenchcoat swishes. [G: True.] If he was just in a regular suit and doing this shit, I would be yawning.

G: Yeah. It's the airflow, the movement, even. Also, later on, right, like, Dean calls Cas "nerdy," and that scene did send me on a thought process of "Wow, Dean is really hung up on this idea of Cas as nerdy or dorky or something." And I do wonder- Because I had the thought, if Dean- If this was any other person, and that person was nordy or dirky- [laughs] "nordy or dirky." [both laugh] Dorky or nerdy, as Dean puts it, would he be- would he act as endeared about it or as kind of funny about it? 'Cause when he says it about Cas, it's always like a "Haha!" but kind of in a "Ha, look at this guy" kind of way, and not particularly negative, specifically. And I think what it is is with Cas, there's the benefit of the doubt that, like, “Oh, he's like that because he's an angel, and he's like, not exposed to the world. So it's okay if he's kind of weird.” But if you're a person who grew up in the world and you're weird, kill yourself or something. [laughs] I feel like that's Dean Winchester's perspective. You understand what I'm saying?

C: Yeah, no, I do know what you mean.

G: And hen I applied that thought to me thinking that Cas’s fight scenes are better than everyone else's, [laughs] and I'm like, "Do I only think this because I think he's like, dorky, so when he fights, it's like, super fun versus when everyone else does it"? Do you think I think that way? I don't think I do but, like, what if?

C: I cannot tell you what goes on in the recesses of your own mind, Grey.

G: Well, you've tried before. [both laugh] [C: That's true.] So try a bit harder now.

C: Is it the fact that he's skinnier?

G: Really! [laughs]

G: I don't know. Is it?

G: I don't think of Cas as skinny.

C: Well, do you view early seasons Cas as like, I don't know, buff-

G: Scrawny or whatever?

C: Yeah, scrawny or something.

G: You know what? It may be a part of it that his clothes are just bigger, so he looks smaller in them. He is unlike a lot of the other characters we see, I think, fundamentally, that is what it is. There is a novelty to it just because he's different and he stands out. I mean, people have talked to hell and back about Supernatural and masculinity, but I really- [laughs] like, I love Cas [C: Yes.], and I have no idea how to word it other than like, that, like, I love him. You connect the dots. You can probably connect the dots, like we say. [C: Yeah.] People have talked about masculinity in Supernatural, but I love Cas. Yeah, love him.

C: Yeah. What was the post that's like, "Dean will tell Cas that if he sees a mouse, he has to eat it, and Cas will do the scrunchy face and go 'Dean, why?' and Dean will go, 'Haha, buddy! You're soo crazy! You're so crazy!'" you know that post?

G: Yeah, I love that post. Let's reblog it. [C: I do also, yeah.] "And Dean will eat three mice in a row just to prove a point." [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Remember when the scrunchy face emoticons were just a thing that we did all the time because of Cas.

G: Yeah, is it the one where it's like, the more than sign and then the flat thing-

C: Yeah, the great than, then a period or like an underscore, and then a less than sign, yeah.

G: Yeah. That is the Casgirl experience. It's feeling that way.

C: Yeah. [laughs] I love him. Anyway-

-

G: After the fight scene, he goes back to the weird thing on the ground, and it's like the dirt is giving, and there's a hand that rises up, and Cas pulls the hand up, and the hand is in fact the hand of Adam Milligan. He's back!

C: So true. He was never here.

G: This is true. His spirit is back, like as in- No, that's not- Well, his name's back? [C: Yeah.] His idea is.

C: Yeah. There we go. A guy who looks like him is back both times.

G: Yeah, the actor is back, even.

C: Yeah, Jake Abel is back.

G: It's so funny. This is like, the last season we see him until Season 15. [laughs] [C: Huh.] And then he's gonna have a fucking a archangel boyfriend. Good for him, honestly.

C: Good for him, honestly.

G: Honestly, that's like, one of the more interesting things Supernatural does in the show, I would say. Like, Michael and Adam. And I do think they do it rather well.

C: Tenrose wishes. Or I guess Ninerose is when she was 19 and he was hundreds of years old.

G: Oh my god, that's so funny. I thought you were talking about Rose from Titanic, [laughs] and I was like, "Why the fuck would Jack and Rose do all of that?" [C laughs] At no situation should they be doing all that.

C: Yeah. Adam died when he was 19, right? Yeah? [G: I think so. Yeah.] Yeah, slay.

G: And then he spent- how many- Wait, Sam spent 600 years in the cage, right? Like, that's the-

C: I thought it was 200.

G: He spent 200 years in the cage?

C: Yeah, it was hundreds of years, but it was only like, a month or some shit in the present day, right?

G: No, exactly. Dean is entering Lisa's house, and Sam’s already there! [C laughing] Like, it was like, a week, maybe. [C laughing] Hilarious. And it's 600 years or something.

C: So Adam was in there for like-

G: So, like, maybe Adam was also a millennia years old at that point. [C: True.] Probably more, honestly. Maybe he is was in the cage longer than Zachariah has been employed. [C: So true.]

-

C: So we're back to Bobby's, and we're seeing what Dean under surveillance is like, 'cause Sam's standing in the way, crossing his arms, and Dean has to ask him to move to get a beer from the fridge. And Cas appears. More paper blowing in the air. And it's Adam. That's him. He's there. 'Cause we don't see his face until this moment, when he lays him down.

G: Yeah. And also, like, he's dirty. He has literally a lot of dirt on him, which is a fun look. [C: It is.] How did he- How did he like-

C: Not decompose? I mean, how did Dean not decompose?

G: No, but like, how did he lift himself out of his grave?

C: Yeah, I mean, the dirt probably wasn't packed at that tight?

G: This is true, or maybe Zachariah gave him a boost, more than Cas ever did for Dean, honestly.

C: Real. Cas says that angels rose him, and they need to hide him now, so he does the ribs sigils.

G: Angel ribs thing, yeah.

C: Yeah. Sam and Dean are no longer special. [G: This is true.]  Adam wakes up, and he's like, [G: Gasping for air, yeah.] “What the fuck's going on?” Yeah. And Dean goes, "You're gonna find this a little- a lot crazy. But we're actually your brothers." [laughs]

G: So corny!

C: Yeah. And Sam goes, "It's the truth. John Winchester was our father, too." [G laughs]

G: Literally, he says, "John was my dad, too!" So true. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. But Adam knows who they are because the angels already talked to him about this, specifically Zachariah. He drops that his Heaven was that he was making out with this girl on prom night. Dean makes a random comment about, "Did you get to third base?" which feels very out of place right now.

G: And also, in the middle of this, he gets cleaned up.

C: Oh, yeah, yeah. He took a shower. Adam did.

G: Yeah. I know, that line is so odd because it's like, for a moment, literally just this moment in the episode, Supernatural is like, "Nah, we need to go back to our roots, man." [C laughing]

C: Yeah, like, "Dean may be suicidal, but like, don't worry. He is also a sleaze forever and ever."

G: Yeah, "He's still in there."

C: So angels told Adam that he was "chosen to save the world," and he says, kind of cockily, "Oh, me and some archangel are gonna kill the devil." And he says that he's Michael's sword or vessel or something, and everyone in the room is looking at each other like, "What the fuck, man?" [laughs]

G: Also, I love Adam's accent. He's from Minnesota, right? It's pretty fun. I love it. [C: Is he?] I think so.

C: Huh. I never noticed anything about his accent, but I'm sure-

G: Yeah, but that's because you never pay attention, Crystal.

C: It's true. [G laughs]

G: Is that so mean? I'm so sorry. It was supposed to be a joke, and-

C: You always- The thing- You will often say things, and I'll be, like, “Haha! That's so funny,” and move on. And then later, you'll be like, “I'm sorry for saying that. That was mean.” And I'll be like, "Oh! Like, Grey meant that with vitriol in his heart?" [G: No!] Like, now-

G: No! What I think is that you're never laughing. Like, I'll say something as a joke, and you'll be like, "Huh." [C laughs] And I'll be like, "Oh, no, Crystal thinks that I actually think that they never pay attention."

C: I see.

G: Yeah. Well, do you? [laughing] [C laughs]

C: Do I?

G: I don't know.

C: It's a good question.

G: I think his accent is- he has some words with some twangs in them that I cannot for the love of god describe. But it's fun!

C: Does Jake Abel have a different accent when he talks normally? If not, we can just see where he's from. He's from Ohio.

G: Okay, I mean, I've never heard him talk, is the thing. Is his name Jacob Abel, then? That's kind of funny. Like, that's kind of real. Good for him.

C: Pretty good, Bible verse-wise, yeah. Oh, ew! He's on Walker?

G: Ugh. Come on, man.

C: [laughing] He also played Edward Cullen in the Midnight Sun audiobook?

G: Love that. Good for him.

C: Maybe not, but yeah. Anyway-

G: Is it bad?

C: What?

G: What do you mean maybe not? Is it bad?

C: Oh, I mean Twilight's racist is all I meant, I suppose.

G: Oh, yeah. He was in Walker for 8 episodes. [both] That's a lot of episodes. Jared Padalecki, you need to quit it. And he did! [laughs] Happy cancellation to Walker.

C: Hell yeah. Dean goes like, "Well, that's insane," and Cas goes, "Well, actually, maybe they're moving on from you." [G: Love that!] You know.

G: Love the phrasing of it. "They're moving on from you, Dean." Ah!

C: 'Cause Adam works 'cause he's part of John's bloodline, and he's also Sam's brother. And Cas goes, “Oh, I think they did this because they're desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them.” [laughs] God! Cas is such a bitch this episode.

G: He has his arms crossed over his chest, [C: Yes!] and he's like, he's looking down from his chin. You know what I mean? He's lifting his chin up a bit to look at- the side-eye Dean. Love it!

C: And then, you know, the line everyone knows. Dean goes, "Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas."

G: Love that. Is that homophobic? Kinda is.

C: Kinda?

G: I'm not sure if it's-

C: I mean, [laughing] I feel like he would say it somewhat of any gender? [both laughing]

G: Like, you think he'd tell a girl, “Okay, blow me”? I don't think he would because he'd understand the sexual implication of it, but towards a man, it's demasculinizing, whatever. You know what I mean. It's like the way someone would be like, "Oh, I'm gonna make you-" well, that's also a bad thing to say to a woman. [laughs] Yeah- You know what I mean.

C: It just feels like a variation on "bite me."

G: Yeah, but it's “blow me,” specifically. He could have said, "bite me."

C: Yeah. Yeah. I guess for me, I just assume that it went more sexual to show he's more angry, like how "fuck" is worse than a different swear word, but I think it could have homophobic implications.

G: I mean, later on, when he tells Cas, “Oh, the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid."

C: That's- that's something for sure.

G: But that's part of the plot. [laughs] You know what I mean? Like, I don't know how to describe it. It's like, he's like, actively taunting Cas at that point. I think it is a homophobic intention, but I don't think it's supposed to count in our count later. You know what I mean?

C: Hm. Sam is the one who goes like, "I don't believe that this is a real thing," and he ends up being right, which is a very rare Sam W, where he just says that, "You know, after everything about, like, destiny and all that shit, I don't think the angels would have a plan B. That doesn't seem right." [G: Yeah.] And Adam, who I really like, goes like, [G: "Okay!"] "This has been a really moving family reunion, but, um, I've got a thing, so-"

G: It's so funny, too, because right before he says that, Sam's lines, he was acting a lot more like, you know, like aggrieved than he usually does. Like, he's louder, and he's like, "What?" like, he's more dramatic about his like, talking. And so when Adam says that, [laughs] it's just even more funny because, like, Sam isn't even like this all the time. [C: Yeah.] Yeah, anyway, Sam- like, Adam already is standing up, and Sam's like, "No, no, no, no, sit down." and you know what? If I was Adam, I would have also sat down because, like, these guys are terrifying, [laughs] plus they have, like, an all-powerful angel in the back. So like, maybe I will just sit.

C: Sam starts [laughing] going into bad acting era. [G: So true.] Or it's Jared Padalecki starts going into bad acting era. Really delighted by how he delivers, "The angels are lying to you! They're full of crap!" [both laugh]

G: You know, it's so funny, in the transcript, they italicize "lying." [laughs] Like, they also were like, "Jared's really acting this time! He's talking in italics and everything!"

C: Adam's like, "Uh, no, they're fine, 'cause they're angels? Hello?" [G: Hewwo!] Love this guy. And Sam brings up that the fight would kill half the planet, and Adam goes, like, "Well, they said the fight might get pretty hairy, but it is the devil, right?" Like, very straightforward, simplistic answers to everything, [G: Yeah.] and just very tired of Sam and Dean's shit. 'Cause Sam's like, "There's another way." and Adam's like, "Great, what is it?" [G laughs] I don't know. It's a really fun dynamic in the room because both Adam and Dean are like, being very antagonistic towards, like, the Sam and Bobby duo, who aren't even working together. [laughs] Bobby's not talking, actually. [G laughs] [G: Yeah.] Yeah, 'cause Dean piles on with, "Um, we're working on the power of love?" and he's like, "Mm, that's not going good." Like, it's just very fun [G: Yeah.], the levels of like, being an asshole that are happening here.

G: This is so true.

C: And Adam tells him to give one good reason that he should listen.

G: "[not sure what accent this is] Because we're blood!"

C: And Sam, fucking poisoned, absolutely poisoned from the Supernatural well, [G: Literally.] goes, "Because we're blood!" [G laughs] And Adam says, "You've got no right to say that to me," which, like, real. Correct. [G: Yeah.] And Bobby pipes up for the first time in five minutes [G laughs] and goes, "You're still John's boy." And Adam goes like, "No! [G: Nuh-uh!] Like, John was a guy who took me to a baseball game once a year. I don't have a dad." Slaycation. [G: Yeah.] And he says that the only person who's his family is his mom, and the angels promised that he could see her again. Well, maybe you really loved your mom, you would be soulmates, and you would see each other in your heavens. Have you thought about that, Adam? Like, think about it.

G: It's also so wild to me that, like, John showed up once a year, and like-

C: [laughs] There was always a baseball game on. [G: No, no, no-] He was like, tracking a certain team's games.

G: I'm pretty sure there's baseball everywhere, maybe. Maybe that's not true. I don't think that's actually true. I don't know how US sports works.

C: I don't think that like- if it's just like, the stadium closest to Adam's house, I don't think there's like [G: Always.] a game on every day.

G: Yeah. I mean, he probably comes around the same- I mean, didn't ghoul!Adam say, like, it was his birthday, specifically? So maybe his birthday was like, [C: Prime baseball day.] a particularly baseball-y season week.

C: Yeah, I don't know how sports work.

G: Yeah. I know how the NBA works, but that's it.

C: Yes. And Sam says that if Adam has just one good memory of "Dad" [G: Yeah.], then he'll give them a little more time. And apparently, he does.

G: He's very nice for this. I'd just have left. I do think the conversation Adam and Sam has later is like, incredibly interesting about like, you know, what you want from life based on what you weren't able to have.

-

G: There's this one moment where Adam is like, eating a sandwich, and he's just watching Bobby, and like, they're kind of facing each other directly. Like, they placed Adam on that seat so that Bobby can watch over him type of beat. Love that. But Bobby turns around to check on some stuff on the shelves. And Adam's like, "Oh, this is my opportunity." So he tries to go out the door, but Sam literally just shows up, and he just shows up. And Adam's like, "Wow, I'm going out for a beer." and Sam's like, "Yeah, hell, yeah. We've got beer at home." as they go drinking, Adam says, "Look, man, I'm not up for it. [laughs] Like, I'm not for this bonding shit." Yeah. "And also, are you keeping me here on lockdown?" And Sam says, "Well. You gotta do what you gotta do!" And he said that John was trying to protect Adam from all of this. And Adam says, "Yeah, well, I guess the monster that ate me didn't get that memo." Love it! [C: Slay.] Love it! And yeah, Adam says that he remembers that. Oh, also, I completely forgot to mention earlier, Adam, like, remembers Heaven. He remembers Heaven, he knew he was dead, he knew he was in Heaven. Isn't that wild?

C: Yeah.

G: I mean, we know in a way, because, like, Ash and Pamela, right? Like, they also knew. But I thought that was like a "they were in the know somehow, and that's why they knew."

C: I don't think Adam knew until after the angels came to him.

G: I think he did. 'Cause he he talked about it like- he was like, "Yeah, I was in Heaven, but somehow, it looked like my prom." He talked about it like, in the moment, he knew.

C: He probably was told he was in Heaven later.

G: You think so? You think that's what happened?

C: Yeah.

G: Mm, okay. Sam says, "Well, you know, Adam, trust me." This is so incredibly [C: Funny as fuck.] condescending, quite insensitive thing to say, but he goes, "The one thing worse than seeing that once a year was seeing him all year." And he does that. Like, he does that voice. He does that emphasis. What an asshole! What an asshole!

C: I mean, I thought he was being really funny, but you and Adam disagree. [G laughs]

G: I mean, I thought it was incredibly funny, but like, in a "Wow! This guy's terrible! He just completely misread the room." [laughs]

C: Oh, yeah. This is not the move, but- [laughs]

G: [laughs] But it's hilarious how wrong it was. And Adam immediately says, like, "Yeah, no. Do you know how full of crap you are?" And he says that their situation was it was him and his mom, who worked the graveyard shift in the hospital. So he cooked his own dinners, he put himself to bed, and he says, "You can say whatever you want about our dad, but the truth is, I would have taken anything."

C: Sam and Dean also cooks their own dinners and put themselves to bed [G: Yeah.] Sam should have said, "I also really only saw John, like, twice a year."

G: Yeah, but he already established that, like, the worst thing is seeing him all year, so like, [both laugh] it's not even true! He didn't even do that. No, but like [C: Yeah, he barely saw that guy.], I think the point that is- the emphasis here is not even really- 'Cause yeah, Sam and Dean did that, but like, they also had each other. They cooked dinner for themselves, but it's the two of them, and then they put themselves to bed, but like, it's the two of them. And I think that is a more distinct comparison than, like, the parenting situation because, as you said, the parenting situation is practically the same.

C: Yeah, at least Adam had his mom, in fact. [laughs]

G: Yeah, like, she showed up in the morning, at least.

C: Yeah, like, every day. Both of them had one parent each, and [laughs] his was better! [both laugh]

G: Yeah. That was the retribution. No, but like, I don't know. I found that interesting that they already talked about John earlier, how, like, Adam was dissatisfied with the situation with John, and I think another way Sam could have connected with Adam here is like, "Yeah, but the thing was, Dad wasn't there for us, too, but I had other family. Like, I had my brother, and he was there for me, and he was there with me, and now that we're brothers, we can be there for you!" [laughs]

C: He does kind of try to go that route right after this.

G: I mean, yeah. He should have gone with it first try. It would have worked better if it wasn't so obviously a second option. I find the comparison extremely interesting. And I think it does emphasize, like, what the point is of Sam and Dean's relationship, like, the foundation of it, which is that, when they were kids, they had a terrible dad, and they had to live with it, and they did that with each other. And I- you know, that's like, that's the touching- that's the part of the story of Sam and Dean that, like, originally got to me and still gets to me! Yeah? Anyway, as you said, Sam immediately goes, "But you're our brother!" And he goes, "Well, if we had known that we had a brother," and Adam's like, "No, you didn't, so." And Sam goes, "We would have found you." And Adam's like, "Okay, well, you didn't." [laughs] Love that. Sam says, "I can't change the past. I wish I could. But from here on out..." and Adam just immediately shuts it down. And Sam just goes, "Oh my god, you're just like us for real. You're a fucking hater. Good for you." [C laughs] I like this scene. I actually really like episode.

-

C: Sam is finally putting Dean in the panic room. Thank you [G: Yas!] for payback. [laughs] So yeah. And they they do make it very clear that- they call back to 4.21 quite a few times this episode, and I appreciate that. But yeah. So Cas is standing in the hallway outside, just like, glaring at him. And then Dean goes, again, famous line. "Well, Cas, not for nothing, the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid." And Cas just glares harder, [G: Yeah, he smolders, yeah.] and Dean, like, throws him a wink. Do we discuss this? What's going on here? I mean, we already discussed it. Like, okay, writing-wise, like, Destielbaiting, why is it happening so hard and so raw this episode?

G: Are they Destielbaiting, or are they just going where the story is taking them? [both laughing] I think they're just going where the story is taking them.

C: I don't think they are.

G: But I do think they are!

C: Explain this.

G: Like, I don't know. [laughs] I can't explain it. It's just vibes. I feel like they've been taking it where it ought to.

C: I mean, I think the way that it gets ramped up is like, kind of surprising.

G: You think so? Mm. Yeah, I think I see your point.

C: I think a lot of it happens this episode. [laughs] [G: Ooh.] Like, too much of it happens this episode.

G: I think what it is is that, like, in this episode, they try to hammer down the relationships. Like, Dean and Bobby, Dean and Sam, Dean and Cas, into their fundamentals. And this is the, like, [laughing] fundamental for Dean and Cas. [C laughs] Not these lines specifically, but this specific dynamic. For this line specifically, I don't know. Actually, maybe you're right. Maybe this is queerbaiting in all the ways that we know it.

C: And some that we don't.

G: What do you think?

C: I don't know. I don't know what's going on here.

G: Okay, I take back everything I said. It is a weird conclusion to get to. [both laugh] [C: Yeah.] Because it- I don't- Okay. Let's think-

C: "The most hurtful things that I could say to Cas to like, put him off and make him angry at me and leave me alone, is-"

G: - is flirt with him.

C: - "'You wanna fuck me.'" Yeah.

G: Okay. Instead of thinking this through logically, let's do it the other way. What are the other options prior to this episode that you think they could have gone through or gone with?

C: You're weak, you don't have your powers, you're useless to us. I feel like that's the obvious one.

G: Yeah. I think another option- Yeah. Because the idea that I have, which is the basis of this also, they could have just taken it slightly differently, is that "You believed in God so much, and now that didn't pan out, so you're trying to believe in me. But guess what? I also am going to disappoint you." And then that kind of is the vibe, but like, the flirting is not necessary for that. [C: Yeah.] I don't know. I guess there is a certain kind of thought towards an angel where it's like, "You threw away everything you believed in for something as base as lust." Like, there's something to that. But it's not the vibe also. [C: Yeah.] So what is the vibe? What are they doing?

C: I don't know!

G: What's going on inside Dean Winchester's head? If they think- 'cause the writers, like, did they just think it's funny if Dean was suddenly like, "Yeah. You're gay as hell." [both laughing] or whatever they're thinking.

C: I mean, it is. I'm laughing. [both laughing] [G: But like, I can understand-] Okay, Jeremy Carver. What has Jeremy Carver said about Destiel-

G: [laughing] I thought you were gonna say, "What is Jeremy Carver's sexuality?" [C laughing] I don't know what he said about Destiel, but you have to remember, he was the showrunner for 8, 9, 10, 11.

C: 4.15, not really getting anything out of this. 4.20, very brief. 5.03. [laughs]

G: What's 5.03? Ooh!

C: There it is. "Free to Be You and Me" is this guy.

G: Maybe he really- he literally was still down in the weeds! And he was "Bert and Ernie."

C: Yeah, he did think that he wanted to fuck that guy.

G: He was Bert and fucking Ernie. [C: Yes.] I think he was just like, "They have something going on."

C: He was the "personal space" guy.

G: Maybe he was a Destiel warrior from the very beginning.

C: I think he was like a "this guy's kind of gay, parentheses, homophobic" guy from the very beginning, but. [laughs]

G: Yeah. And then, like, by Season 9, he was like, "This guy's kind of gay, parentheses, this is good financially." [both laughing] Yeah. Yeah. [C: He's just continuing the thing, yeah.] You know that one post that's like, "How do kids online always know what slur to call you?" and then someone was like, "They're empaths." [C laughs] This is what Jeremy Carver's going through in this episode. [C: Real. Real.] Yeah. [laughing] And also what Dean Winchester's going through.

C: Real. Release the cut where, instead of saying "maggots," Zachariah says a different word. I believe it. I know it's out there! [laughs] Well, okay, anyway. That line gets delivered. Cas looks really hot this episode. Have I mentioned that? [G laughs] I just remembered the smolder. [G: Yeah.] Anyway, Sam sends Cas off- No, okay, Sam goes like, "Uh, why don't you go keep an eye on Adam?" to Cas, and it feels almost like he's like, trying to spare Cas's feelings, like he's sending him off as damage control partly because he feels bad for Cas. Do you get this vibe?

G: [laughing] I don't understand why Cas is here. His only job was to open the door, and, like, I don't think that standing-

C: No, for real! Like, what was he doing here? [G laughing]

G: Like, maybe Sam was like, while they're going down, he's like, "I don't know why Cas is following me. I'll just tell him to go back up when we get there." [both laugh] And then Dean drops this line, and he's like, "Jesus Christ."

C: Yeah. He's like, "Oh, Cas is down here because he wants to fuck this guy!" [G laughs]

G: Yeah. I think later on, I do find this- I mean, somebody else pointed it out, but like, the trap for Cas was just for Cas. It was not gonna work if anyone else checked up on Dean. [C: Yeah.] So like, Dean was aware that Cas is going to be hanging around there listening to him. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] Incredibly funny!

C: Is Destiel, like, kind of real?

G: Destiel is kind of real, but it's also- The thing is like, I know that Destiel is real. I've made my arguments. I've made my points, whatever. If it's happening on my screen, I'm still like, "Am I crazy? [laughs] Am I crazy?" That's what years, years of queerbaiting will do to you, I guess.

C: Yeah. Yeah. They're like, in love. Anyway, so-

G: I don't think they're in wuv yet, but later on, they will be.

C: Cas is obsessed with this guy, and Dean's aware of it, [G: Yeah.] which is very interesting to me.

G: When do you think Dean realized?

C: I feel like people often go the "Dean's so repressed that he doesn't know"-

G: I think he knows. I've made my case, right? I think he knows.

C: Yeah, no, I think he knows already.

G: I think by Season 6, nothing in Season 6 about Dean and Cas makes sense unless Dean knows, is my take. Like, all of the everything that happens there hinges on Dean thinking, "Cas wouldn't do this because Cas loves me." which is kind of wild to me, and that's why the betrayal in that season feels more acute to him because it feels like, you know, he just- It must have felt like he just fundamentally misunderstood what Cas's deal was.

C: Yeah, god. We're gonna do a "Man Who Would Be King" episode.

G: One day, and it's going to be- it's nearer than you think. It's nearer than you think.

C: We've been doing Season 5 for like, forever, though, it feels like.

G: Yeah, but that's because we're terrible at this! [both laugh]

C: We didn't even take a break.

G: Yeah. But I keep on taking like, one week, two week break because I'm doing fuck-all or whatever. [C: True.] And by fuck-all, I mean, I am actually doing things with my life, you guys. [laughs]

C: Yeah, like school and things, yeah.

G: Yeah, mostly lying down, though, [laughing] if I'm being honest. [C laughs] That's also a something. Yeah. [C: Yeah, that's a something.] It's not. Yeah, but it is.

C: It is! But yeah, anyway. But first, we're gonna have to do "Hammer of the Gods." So like, maybe we should just quit. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. I mean, the thing is like, I don't know. Because the thing is, we talked about Destiel a lot already, but I think Destiel this season is nowhere near as distinct or like, important to the plot or like, just interesting as it would be later on, and I am incredibly curious how we're going to interface with it. Because like, that shit- I mean, it has taken me before, and it has taken you before, so, I don't know. I think it's just interesting. I'm just interested in how it would pan out in the kind of conversations we have in a podcast, you know?

C: When is Chuck gonna come back? Do you remember Samchuck? Wasn't Samchuck such a wonderful time?

G: [sighs] It's never going- Samchuck specifically is never gonna be back. I'm so sorry.

C: Aww. Yeah, no, like, [laughs] Chuck's literally gonna have the God reveal in four episodes. [G: Yeah.] [screams] Okay. Whatever. Yeah, so Sam sends Cas off in a way that really feels like he's trying to spare Cas's feelings, [G: Yeah.] which I think is so fascinating, also. But yeah, basically, since Adam's a flight risk, they need to put Dean down here so they don't have to watch both of them. [G laughs] And Dean goes, "I'm not letting him do it." And Sam goes, "Who? Adam?" [G laughs] Literally Adam to is in this episode.

G: He forgot. He completely forgot about that kid, like, literally immediately forgot. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, and he goes like, "I'm not either." And Dean's like, "No, no, no. Like, you don't understand." And Sam's like, "Oh, no, I get you, but I'm not letting you do it either." And Dean's doing his whole guilt thing where he's like, "We got so many people killed, so, like, I have to do this so he doesn't." Um, Adam wants to do this so he can see his mommy again, so like, I think it's fine, actually. [G laughs] [G: So true.] Dean lists the people that they got killed, [laughing] and he says that Mary is a person that they got killed, [G laughs] which I think is hilarious. She made that demon deal herself. I guess he's like, "We couldn't save her when we went back in time"?

G: Yeah, I mean, I don't think that's it at all. I think it's just like, "Fundamentally, it's our fault," which it isn't, like, at all.

C: Yeah, "We should have killed ourselves in the womb." [laughs]

G: Yeah. [laughs] That's literally what they said in like- [laughing]

C: [laughing] Yeah, that is what they said a few episodes ago. [G: Yeah.] Yeah. He mentions Jess to hurt Sam's feelings, and we see him flinch on that one. [G: Yeah.] He mentions Jo and Ellen. He doesn't mention Ash and Pamela, even though he literally [G: Dude, they literally just saw those two.] them like, two episodes ago! Dean goes, " I'm tired, man. I'm tired of fighting who I'm supposed to be..."

G: [laughing] Wow! "This is me, this is real."

C: "... Bisexual." But yeah. So anyway, Sam goes, "Well, do you think maybe you could take half a second and stop trying to sacrifice yourself for a change? Maybe we could actually stick together?" And Dean goes, "I don't think so." I really like a lot of the acting choices this episode where, like, Dean just refuses to really engage in certain things, but like, just in a very giving up way. I don't know. I like the way this was delivered. [G: Yeah.] And Sam goes, "Why not? Dean. Seriously, tell me. I- I want to know." And I also liked how that line was delivered. He is being like- He's like, "I'm deliberately putting down the anger. Like, can we just talk?" [G: Yeah.] Like, it's nice. And then Dean says [G: "I don't believe."] some words. [G: Yeah.] "I don't believe." and Sam goes, "In what?" and Dean goes, "In you." And I wish they'd worked up to this a bit more.

G: Yeah? I mean, yeah.

C: Or rather, okay, what he says next is-

G: Because the thing is-

C: - "I don't know whether it's gonna be-" yeah, no go first.

G: The thing is like, with the Bobby thing, we know that Dean is saying that to hurt Bobby. You know what I mean. Like, it's coming from a place of-

C: "He's like a father to us!" happened just then.

G: Yeah. And like, towards Cas, it's more believable that Dean would be pissed at Cas, but it's also like, we understand that he's pissed specifically because of this. Like, he's pissed specifically because of what's happening right now. So it's also understood that it's not personal. This one is like, Dean could have just said this. He could have just said this, and I'll be like, "Yeah." Even if he's not lashing out, I'll be like, "Yeah, that's his fundamental belief." You know what I mean? So like, it does feel at odds with the other ones that feel quite situational.

C: Wait, do you think he doesn't mean this?

G: I think that is like, the juxtaposition that is set between this scene and the others. That it's very easily believable that he just means it.

C: I think he does.

G: Yeah. That's what I mean, like, it's the only scene that you would solemnly believe it to be true versus the other ones. Yeah.

C: Like it's 'cause it's prefaced with Sam being like, "Can you be honest with me?"

G: "Can you be honest hwith meee?" Yeah.

C: Yeah. Exactly like that. But okay, what Dean says is, "I don't know whether it's gonna be demon blood [both] or some other demon chick [both laugh] or what, [G: What's the "what?"] but I do know they'll find a way to turn you." "I don't know if it's demon blood, some demon  chick, other demon-related paraphernalia... [laughs] a demon rubber chicken..."

G: No, he's like, "Demon chick or other genders of demon." [C laughs]

C: The thing is, if Dean's gonna be pissed at Sam and not trust him, I'd say after 5.16, it should be about what he saw in 5.16. Like, I think that the demon blood callback feels a little late. [G: Yeah.] Like, "You may say you want us to work together and all of that, but like-"

G: Yeah. "I know that's not what you are, like, fundamentally."

C: "- how can I believe you wanna be a team when all your best memories are-" Yeah.

G: Yeah, you're not a team player.

C: Yeah, "In your fundamental nature, you want us to be apart so like, [G: Yeah, "You want to be away."] why would I believe that us sticking together will make us stronger," blah blah blah. Like, I can see that. But like, I feel like Sam's proven time and time again that, like, the  demon blood thing is like- he's good. [laughs] Like- [G: Yeah.] I don't know. And I don't think Dean has expressed too much- Okay, I guess the last time we interfaced with this was in "My Bloody Valentine," where Dean is pissed at Sam about the situation. So like, sure? And like, it's not like what Dean saying has to be rational. It just has to be what he believes. [G: Yeah.] But I just feel like it hasn't been shown to me that this is Dean's deepest belief that's leading him to do these things because the episodes leading up to him making this choice to say yes to Michael have not been related to demon blood in any way.

G: I think what would have been- 'cause you can use this exact words, just remove the "demon blood and other demon chick." [C laughing] You can say, "I don't know what's it's what it's gonna be." And you can list things that are outside of the demon brand.

C: Yeah, maybe Lucifer will let you get into Stanford again!

G: Yeah, maybe you pass in Yale Law School or something. [C laughing] Like, I don't know.

C: Maybe Lucifer will invite you to Thanksgiving dinner with his father, God! [G laughs]

G: I feel like no one can turn that down, though. Like, Sam would definitely not turn that one down. That's unfair.

C: Yeah. "I don't know what it's gonna be. A weekend that you can eat Funions and have a dog, [G laughs] or-"

G: Yeah, Sam, what if you hit a dog with your car, and then you bring it to the vet, and the vet tells you to keep it?

C: And the vet is a hot woman?

G: A hot woman?

C: But yeah, literally, just take out the "I don't know whether it's gonna be demon blood or some other [laughing] demon chick." What a funny fucking sentence!

G: I think also, if you just said, "I don't know if it's gonna be demon blood or what," like, I'll be like, "Okay."

C: [laughing] Yeah, but when you're establishing the demon part-

G: The demon brand, like it's the brand name "Demon," like, okay. [both laughing] What if they give you a bag of Funions, Sam?

C: What if it's an angel chick, Dean? Have you thought about that? They want Sam to say yes too.

G: Yeah. What if they give some a pack of Funions and Dr. Pib or something? And then that's it!

C: Exactly. I mean, it's a good scene other than that, I suppose. [laughs]

G: Yeah. I do find the next line interesting. So yeah, Sam goes, "So you're saying I'm not strong enough," to which Dean replies, "You're angry. You're self-righteous. Lucifer is going to wear you to prom man, it's just a matter of time." And it got me thinking, if the situation was reversed, and Sam was Michael's vessel, would Sam have said yes? I think he would have. [C: Huh.] Like, the way Dean is painting the situation, I think that's what we're supposed to think. [C: Huh!] Do you understand what I'm asking? [C: Yeah.] Like, I think the main detractor for Sam is that it's Lucifer. Imagine the Lucifer scene where Jess is like, Lucifer, imagine that scene but it's revealed that Jess is Michael and that Michael is asking Sam, "We need to fight the devil, and I need to possess you to do that." Sam would have 100% said yes.

C: Yeah I think especially at that point in the season when he's still so wracked with guilt. He'd be like, "Hell, yeah. Purify me, baby. Let's go."

G: Yeah. I don't think this argument works because it's Lucifer we're talking about. Literally any other argument, it would work, though. So yeah. I think Dean hits on something here. It's just the line previous is like, [laughs] girl.

C: Yeah. I enjoy that, "You're saying I'm not strong enough" thing because the demon blood stuff being brought up is hitting on Sam's old insecurities about that again. [G: Yeah.] Yeah. You're angry, you're self-righteous. Has Sam been doing that recently? Like, he was angry during "99 Problems," but I think for the right reasons, but I guess that's self-righteous.

G: Because Dean was literally gonna say yes and then he did.

C: Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. So he says that, and Sam says to Dean Winchester, who was ranked number one on a consumer survey of people who would say that to Sam, [G laughs] "Don't say that to me. Not you of all people." [laughs] [G: Yeah.] Truly- that's such a thing Dean Winchester would say, though, Sam! [laughs] [G: Yeah.] I'm surprised you're surprised!

G: It did remind me of, like, in Sam's hallucination, in the demon blood detox episode, where this is something he says to Dean too. "Don't say that to me. Don't you say that to me." [C: Yeah.] And it's like, I don't know. It does touch me, I suppose, the idea that like, Sam just thinks there are lines that Dean as his brother should not cross even though Dean has crossed that line in the past, it's the verbalizing that makes it real. I don't know. I mean, Sam was gonna be a lawyer. Sam must believe in the power of the word. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. This is true.

G: [laughing] That is an incredibly funny to say, especially because I'm also gonna go to law school. [C: Yeah.] Shout out to people who believe in the power of the word.

C: Do you believe in the power of the word?

G: I think so, yeah.

C: Congratulations. But yeah, I don't know. It's the- Yeah, I think it's the verbalizing. It's like the, "Oh, like, you've really, really, really given up." [G: Yeah.] Sam doesn't really have an emotional support network. Cas likes Dean better and everything. [G: Oh, yeah.] He's got nobody- yeah.

G: I think it's interesting that you say that. Like, saying it is like, the sign and semblance of giving up. Because, like, you're right. That is the point of this one. Even if Dean thought it, as long as he didn't say it, then it's not that it's not true that he thinks it's that, it's that-

C: Yeah, he's going to keep trying to make that not true.

G: - he's gonna keep trying, or he's not putting up that concrete line of like, "It's done." [C: Yeah.] As long as he doesn't say it. But if he says it, it's- You're right that I think that "Don't say that to me" is more of a "Don't say that, period, because then it's done. Then it's out there. And you're really gonna say yes for real for real." [C: Yeah.] Yeah. Aw!

C: Agh. Yeah. And Dean goes, "I don't want to, but it's the truth." If you didn't want to, you wouldn't have said it. [laughs] But yeah. [G: Hwat a liar.] Yeah. And he says, like, "You know, since you're gonna say yes, like, Lucifer is gonna start destroying the earth, and somebody has to be there to fight him, and it's not gonna be that kid, so it's gotta be me."

G: Also a line that made me emo because I know how this season ends.

C: Yeah, it is that kid.

G: I mean, it is that kid.

C: But they decided they don't give a fuck about Adam right after.

G: No, the point I'm making is that this season ends with Dean telling Sam like, "I'm here. It's okay. I'm here." when Sam is fully possessed and controlled by Lucifer, and that's what, like, saves the world, and I've already emoted about this before, [laughs] but like, [C: Yeah.] it does get to me that, like, here, it feels like a threat somehow, right? Like, "Somebody's going to be have to has to be there to stop you because you would do a terrible decision." And at the end of it, it was like, "No, someone has to be there for you because you would need someone." and that's a- it's really touching in retrospect. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] Yeah. Whatever. Can you believe I actually feel things about Supernatural? [laughs] It's so embarrassing!

C: It's been long, it's been so long, baby, I think you were fireproof.

G: And we still are, yeah.

C: Okay, Adam was dead, though. Like, he was dead. Like, they're not really factoring this into their decisions. Like, he kind of was dead. [both laughing] Like, are we really losing that much if he dies again?

G: Like, you already got this kid killed before.

C: A handful of episodes ago, people were being raised from the dead, and like, they were like, "We're gonna fucking kill Bobby's wife. [G laughs] Like, no people should be raised from the dead! It's over!" Like, but now you're like, "Nooo, Adam needs to continue to live a long life." Like, well, he was also raised from the dead. Like, what's the difference?

G: You know, earlier, when they're like, "Oh, we're going to get killed- We're going to get Adam killed! Who else have we gotten killed?" And I'm like, "Well, Adam. [both laugh] You've already gotten him killed, I think." So, I don't know, man. You can just get him killed again. Like, that's just one person.

C: Like Karen said, "You already killed me once when I was possessed by a demon, Bobby. You can kill me again." [laughs]

G: Literally. If we're counting it by kills, yeah, that's twice. But if we're counting it by person, you're down one, baby, so it's fine! [C: Yeah. Exactly.] You can beat the statistic up until it shows you the result you want or something. And in this case, that's the result. [C: Yeah.]

-

G: Sam goes up, and it's just, like, an establishing scene to tell us that Bobby is somewhere upstairs having a bro moment. And Cas is literally just, like, checking up on Dean. Like, literally just going downstairs, listening in a bit.

C: Yeah, the crash hasn't happened yet. [G: Yeah.] He's just going down there 'cause he's like, in love with that guy or something.

G: [laughing] I think he is! Incredibly funny. But yeah, he's like, hanging around. And he's actually, I think, about to go upstairs.

C: Okay, he also has a lot riding on Dean not saying yes because he gave up so much for it, and he also doesn't want the Apocalypse to happen, but-

G: No, here's the thing I would say. Let's say first what happens, which is that Cas is like, about to leave or something, and then suddenly, he hears a really loud crash inside the panic room. So he goes over there, and he's calling out to Dean, and he opens, like, the little thing- what's that?

C: The little slat to the window?

G: Yeah, the window thing. And he looks around, but of course there's blind spots, and he starts getting worried because Dean is not responding. So he opens the door and he looks around, and yeah. Dean just goes, "Cas." And then he sigils Cas away. And like, okay, couple of things about this one, Bobby- Like, okay, one, Dean specifically formulates this trap for Cas. This is only for Cas because obviously, the vanishing sigil would only work for Cas. Number two, it specifically requires Cas to come in, which Sam and Bobby would not have done, which, like, again, I don't know which aspect Dean is playing with. Is it like, Cas's naivete, or is it like, "Cas likes me enough that he'll actually be concerned enough to come in"? And I don't know. I find it interesting.

C: He knows Bobby can't make it down the stairs anymore.

G: [laughs] This is true. Yeah.

C: He was just really awful to Sam. So I think he sort of assumes that if anyone's gonna come down, it's gonna be Cas right now.

G: Yeah, yeah, but like, yeah. I don't know. Like, why do you think he thinks Cas would definitely come in?

C: Right. The coming into the room part?

G: Because like, we know in other situations, like, Dean has left Sam in there when he really shouldn't have.

C: Well, didn't they go- They went inside and tied him down when he was like, being flung about the room in 4.21.

G: Oh, yeah, yeah. So it's like a because Cas can't see him. He's like, "Oh, no, he's probably [C: Yeah.] gone or dead."

C: Yeah, just to check if the angels magicked him away or something. [G: Yeah, okay.] I think it's a bit less crazy than we made it out to be earlier. I think it makes sense.

G: I think it makes sense. It's just also fascinating that this is like, Dean's-

C: I think what's crazy is the fact that Cas was already checking on him before the crash. I think that's the part where I go, "Oh, like, he's in love with this guy." [laughs]

G: Yeah, 'cause it also could have been just that "I heard a weird noise. I'm going downstairs." Maybe that was Dean's initial intention. It was like, [C: Yeah, I think so.] "Someone will hear a noise." And it just happened to be Cas who was already there trying to overhear stuff. [C: Yes. Yeah.] Yeah, well, anyway, we established that, like, Sam leaves Adam to Bobby. We see that Adam is in a dream, and he's sitting down, and he's at a playground, and then Zachariah is sitting next to him. And Zachariah says, like, "Yeah, your mom's not coming. This is like, the playground that she left you in once, right? Anyway, she's not gonna be here."

C: [laughing] She didn't leave him there, she took him there. [G laughs]

G: Different meaning, yeah.

C: And it's fun. I like this playground scene just 'cause- Don't Cas and Dean have a playground scene in 4.07 on a bench?

G: Yeah. That's- yeah. Because that scene is about how like, "Look at all these people. This is what we're going to be saving."

C: Look at the beauty and innocence of children and everybody, yeah.

G: Yeah. I mean, I thought- Honestly, I thought that his mom did leave him. 'Cause when Zachariah goes, "Your mom's not coming." I was like, "Wow, this is like, a traumatic experience for like, [both laughing] his mom left him in the park." The point here is that they're withholding Adam's mom from him so that he will do their bidding. Zachariah is saying, like, "Yeah, you're with Sam and Dean. I know. We told you about them, so you must know that-" And then he goes, "You know, they're psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other." Ugh. [C sighs]

C: I've seen this phrase in too many titles of a blog that I've blocked.

G: I know! Like, you're like, you know, you're like, "What the fuck is this post?" And you go to the blog, and that's literally- It's like, a common thing.

C: It's like, "Oh, the words 'erotically codependent' are in the title. Alright. [laughs] I understand what's going on here."

G: Yeah, it's a phrase that the Wincesties really clung onto.

C: Yeah. I mean, I understand why. It's because Zachariah looked directly into the camera and said, "Wincest is real." [G: Yeah.] [laughs] What an interesting writing choice.

G: [laughs] What is going on in Jeremy Carver's mind?

C: Yeah, he was like, "All homophobia is the same homophobia. Whether or not there's incest involved, like, not my business." [G laughs]

G: Yeah, I do find what Zachariah says to Adam about like, what will happen to him will be, which is that "When things start going down, they're not going to give a shit about you." And that "They're going to save each other, and they're going to save the world, but they're not going to save you, 'cause they don't give a fuck."

C: Well, he says that they would save each other and not save the world and not save Adam.

G: Oh, is it, like- I thought it was like, "They're going to save each other, then save the world," which-

C: No, it's than.

G: Oh! I thought that was quite weird because I was like, "Well, if they're saving the world..." [both laugh] [C: Pretty good! Like-] Like, Adam's kind of part of the world, don't you think? So yeah. I'm literally- This is like the first time it has been revealed to me that what is said there is that. Is it really? Are you sure?

C: Yeah.

G: Okay. Wow! My life has changed completely.

C: As much as it did when you found out I was left-handed?

G: I can't believe that's true. I can, actually.

C: But yeah, Zachariah's argument is just like, "Don't trust Sam and Dean because they don't wuv you."

G: Yeah, "They don't give a shit about you."

C: Which I think is so fascinating. Like, these angels and these Winchesters are like, crazy. None of them are like-

G: In touch with the human psyche.

C: - there's no argument about saving people, about, like, what logically makes sense, like, whatever whatever? No, it's just like, "Do what [G: "Trust me."] the person who wuvs you the most says"? [G: Yeah.] Don't you care about, like, saving the world? Killing Lucifer or whatever the fuck?

G: And like, yeah, I mean, that's the interesting part, really, because the thing that convinces Adam is none of those things. Like, what convinces him to say yes the very first time was that, you know, like, "We need to defeat Lucifer," which I think is like, a completely reasonable ask. [laughs] [C: Yes.] And then with Sam and Dean, it's like, "No, please give us time to figure something else out because the collateral damage is gonna be brutal," and like, he didn't even say yes to that. [laughs] He was just stuck there. He was just on lockdown.

C: Yeah, and I mean, he only agreed to hear them out because he had one good memory of John.

G: Yeah, and like, I mean later on, like, when he goes-

C: I think we're supposed to think that the whole like, "Oh, we're gonna like, take down Lucifer" blah blah blah meant to be sort of masking the fact that what he mostly wants is to see his mom again.

G: Oh, I thought you were saying, like, mascing as in like, it's trying to play up to his like, masculine pride or whatever. [both laugh]

C: No! No. I meant masking with a K.

G: I think there's an aspect of that, too, though. Like, the way he talks about like, "Oh, I'm going to be like, Michael's- This archangel and I-"

C: Yeah, "I'm so cool. I'm gonna be an action hero. But no, I just want to see my mommy!"

G: I don't think it's really masculine pride, but like, there is a sense of, like, pride there. Of like, "I'm going to be useful" or "they need me." And like, I do think it is interesting what happens when Zachariah reveals everything because that's the thing that is most distinct that, you know, like, the things that-

C: The "I'm not actually chosen" thing?

G: "I'm not actually going to do something useful, and also that not only is that true, you're also using me to hurt these people," and it's like, he doesn't love Sam and Dean, but like, there is like, a fundamental aversion to lying, I suppose. [both laugh] And I don't know, I think it's interesting, honestly. But yeah, what convinces him at the end is like, "I'm gonna see my mom, and I'm going to kill Lucifer in this situation." It's not like "We wuv you!"

C: Well, I think the fact that they come back for him, like, he does seem quite touched by that.

G: Yeah. Anyway, Adam wakes the fuck up, and that's it. He's gone.

-

C: Yeah, alright, so Dean has headed out to where there's a street preacher who's saying that like, "The Apocalypse is happening," blah blah blah. And yeah, no, you're right. It's fun. This is a callback to when- like, what episode was it? When, you know, all the angels have been contacting certain, more niche Christian sects in order to like, have them keep a lookout for Sam and Dean. Was this in 5.01?

G: I think Jehovah's witness was like, in 5.03. That's why- Or like, "The End." In 5.04. That's how Zachariah gets to him. [C: Yes.] It's a nice callback.

C: So Dean approaches this guy, and he goes like, "I'm Dean Winchester. Do you know who I am?" And then he tells the guy to just pray to the angels and clue them in to where Dean is. And the preacher guy- so he starts praying, like, I don't know. Is this really the prayer that you would do for- [G: Yes.] for this specific situation?

G: It's just a basic prayer. Like, if you're like, "Pray," I'd be like, "Our father, who art in Heaven." Like, that is the automatic-

C: It's the beginning of all of them? So like, the beginning of all prayers starts with that?

G: No, the beginning of all prayers starts with [laughs] "In the name of the father and son-" but this guy's not Catholic, so. What are you saying? What are you asking?

C: I don't know. It just felt like a very generic thing to say. I was like, "Did they not do research? Is there not like, a more fun thing to start with?"

G: You know, there's a guardian angel prayer, but that's not really what's happening here. Love that one! It's like something that you teach children. It's specifically a prayer for children. It goes, "Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom his love commits me here, ever this day, be at my side, to light and guard through and guide. Amen!" It's so cute. It's like, you know, when you're a kid, that's what you pray. Very cute. Anyway, he should have prayed that. [laughs]

C: Literally. Anyway, he starts with "Our father, who art in Heaven," and then Cas shows up, and he goes, "You pray too loud." [G: Love that!] And then he knocks the guy out. Cas, you're so hot. Hi! [G: It's- this scene-] And then he does something even hotter!

G: Okay, before we get into it, I just wanna say, because I'm sure we're going to talk positively about this scene-

C: [laughing] It's bad. It's bad that he did that, and Dean's very suicidal. [G laughs] But yeah, what?

G: No, but like, I was just gonna say, like- Was in last episode we were like, "Wow, Sam and Cas are like, in wuv." [laughs] and then the entire thing is Cas being like, "Sam, you're so horrible, and you're like, the fucking devil or whatever the fuck." [C laughs] Anyway, yeah, so just to clarify, to put it out there, me and Crystal 100% support toxic relationships. [both laughing] So that's the situation.

C: It's good that he did this. I take back what I said. But yeah, no, it it is a very- It's an interesting scene. Because Cas- like, at the end of it, Cas knocks Dean out, and then he brings him back to Bobby's house.

G: He doesn't heal him, yeah.

C: And like, yeah. And like, he could have just done that. Like, none of this serves a purpose except that he's angry, and he wants to beat Dean up.

G: Yeah. And the thing is like, you know, it can be also like, he got taken on by the emotion, but he's not regretful at all. [C: Yes.] Like, that's not the point because he keeps Dean beaten up, so not only is he punishing Dean, he thinks Dean deserves it. So yeah. That's the dynamic of this scene. It's insane, though. [laughs] [C: It is.] Yeah. And that's part of why.

C: Yeah, and I feel like Cas doesn't do things that are like, wholly selfish very often. [G: Yeah.] Like I feel like he's always been, you know, working towards, like, the larger goal, etc etc. [G: Yeah.] But here, he really, really loses it.

G: He's just- he's angry for himself. This scene is, he's angry for himself. It's all "I." [C: Yeah.] "I rebelled for this. I gave you everything."

C: Yeah, there's no lofty ideals about like, saving the world or whatever. It's just like, "I can't fucking believe this shit, Dean Winchester. [G: Yeah.] Because of meeeeeeee!"

G: No, I think it's also fascinating that all the arguments round back to that. Like, with Bobby, it's like, "I didn't kill myself because you told me not to." [C: Yeah.] And that's not about the fucking apocalypse. With Sam, it's like, "You don't get to tell that to me." And the the thing that is the thing-

C: Is "I need you to keep me from saying no" and all that.

G: Yeah. And like, the thing is specifically is that he thinks Sam is like, terrible. Like, "You don't get to say that to me." And with Cas, it's like, "You don't get to do this to me," which I think is fun. It's fun. It's fascinating.

C: Yeah, no, I like it. I like it. Yeah, I feel like the only place that this suffers is with Adam because they keep trying to bring him into their, like, way of thinking about things, and the show sort of acts like he's gotten into that way of thinking about things, too, and it's like, "I don't think so. I don't know about that."

G: I think it's a fascinating choice to not have Adam and Dean interact, mostly so that it doesn't mess up the Dean thing. Because the Dean thing becomes kind of the thesis of the episode, Adam's thing is solidly B-plot, and I like that they didn't try to incorporate it somehow. You know what I mean? [C: Yeah.] Yeah, which I think makes it stronger, both the Adam thing and the Dean thing.

C: Agreed. Yeah. Okay, so what actually happens in this scene is- God, it's so- [laughs] I don't know if I can talk about it. [both laughing] Do you want- Do you want take it?

G: You know, this whole scene, I was kind of spacing out while watching it, like, watching it this time, and yet I can so clearly visualize it in my head. Like, I can see it happening right now in my mind's eye. But anyway, Cas like, pushes Dean up against the wall, like, really gets close to him, and he goes, "I rebelled for this?!" [laughs] And then he punches him two times, right? And it's like, an interesting cut that they do. [C: I haven't counted, but yeah.] An interesting cut that they do. So it's like- 'cause the way he punches him, it's like, he punches the side of the wall, actually, but like, Dean's face, like, turns. Obviously, it's like, choreography, but they do it twice. Like, they cut in between it in a jump cut, which I think like, the way they do the jump cuts this scene is also really fun. Like, it adds to theenergy of the scene : that suddenly it's like, so fast. Yeah. "So you could surrender to them?!" And then, he tosses Dean on the other side, and he goes- And Dean is going like, "Cas, please!" [C laughs] which is like, the only thing he says when Cas is beating him up. And yeah, Cas goes, "I gave everything for you, and this is what you give to me?!" [laughs] And then he tosses Dean into the like, wire-link fence, and Cas is just looking down with his furious face, and his fist is clenched up, and Dean looks up to him, and his face is bloody, like, as in like, blood is filling out of his mouth, and he has like, a thing by the side of his eye, and he goes, "Do it. Just do it." And we see a close-up of Cas's hand, and he unclenches it, and then he goes to touch Dean's shoulder, and Dean, like, squints away. Like, he really thinks Cas is gonna kill him now. Which, like, I don't know. Obviously, the closest thing we have of this in the future is Season 18, Episode 17: "Goodbye Stranger." And like, that was the moment where I was like, "Oh, god. Yeah, it is like-" I think "Goodbye Stranger" is the most fascinating scene to compare it to. The thing that reminded me of it was like, the flinching away from the hand, the like, squinting your eye, just preparing for death, which Dean also does in "Goodbye Stranger." Like, he really doesn't think Cat is gonna kill him there.

C: And then Cas touches his cheek.

G: Yeah. You know what's so funny? I showed that AMV to a friend who promptly got super obsessed with it. Never seen Supernatural before. And they went like, "Oh, I didn't know that there was like, violence in this show." [both laughing] And I was like, "What's wrong with you?"

C: Yeah, you're right. When they hunt monsters, they put them in, like, a little cage-

G: Yeah, it's just vibes.

C: - and then they go, "Bye-bye, now!" and then they go off in the back of a truck.

G: I mean, I think this friend literally thinks Supernatural is Scooby-Doo. [laughs] Like, wonderful! Anyway, yeah. I think it's interesting to think of this in context of that because of obviously how their relationship evolves, but I guess that's a conversation for 8.17. This time, I don't know what the conversation is supposed to be. I just- I think we have definitely handled some conversations in the podcast not well in the past. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] So like, this one, I also don't know how to interface with it.

C: Yeah, agreed. I don't think I can discuss it seriously because when I was watching it, all I felt was unbridled lust, so [both laugh] yeah. I don't think this conversation is for us.

G: I mean, next episode- I'm not actually sure which episode it is. I think next next, Cas is going to call up and be like, "Wow! I'm still alive. And Dean, you're not that bad. [C laughs] You're not the hollow shell of a man I thought you were" or something. Yeah. And like, I didn't know. I actually don't remember how this is gonna play into that. Like, Cas literally beat him up. [laughs] So like, how's that going to connect later? I'm not sure. Yeah. I don't know. I just feel like, you know, we talk quite incessantly earlier about how Dean must know that Cas is into him in some way. Is this Cas also, like, trying to situate himself as like, "I don't like you that much, just so you're aware." [C laughs]

C: [laughing] Incredibly funny thing to do, by that I mean awful, if that was the case. [G laughs]

G: But you know what I mean, right?

C: I understand what you mean, but I think that this beating him up in an alley is fully an act of passion, [G: Aah.] [laughs] so like, if that's what he intended, it didn't work.

G: Yeah, no, but the act of passion, I feel, comes from a place of like, trying to assert power over, obviously, I mean he does beat him up, like, [laughs] no more vivid assertion of power than like, "I can literally kill you right now." Like, yes, I think a lot of it is just Cas is just so so so so mad. But like, I think the unconscious idea that he's trying to affect here is, "Remember that I can do this to you." Yeah? You think so?

C: If that was the case, why would his dialogue all be, "My feelings are so hurt because of what you did, Deaaaan!"? [both laughing] You know, like, if he was trying to show himself as, like, powerful and disaffected-

G: [laughing] Jesus Christ!

C: - I think he'd say different words.

G: [laughing] I needed to stand up. [both laughing]

C: I mean, I can see sort of what you mean in the like, "And this is what you give to me" as like a "You owe me something, and I will take it from you." But like, [laughing] I don't know, man. Maybe. Maybe. Like a "I've been holding back the whole time, but, like, there you go"?

G: [still laughing] Yeah. I'm not actually sure.

C: Yeah, I feel like everything he says is like, showing his belly, like, so much.

G: Yeah. You're right. It is like, showing vulnerability, I guess. Or like, showing the ability to get hurt. [C: Yeah.] It isn't just some vague betrayal. It's like, a personal one.

-

C: So back at Bobby's, Sam's like, "Holy fuck. What do you mean Adam's gone?" But yeah, he disappeared right in front of them. And then Cas appears right in front of them with Dean, and he says like, "Because the angels took him." which implies that he was like, invisible for a second while they were talking? Like, he showed up and was invisible for a second? Or somehow, he heard.

G: I love that Bobby goes, like, "Don't speak to me like that."

C: Well, he can't pull out the gun again. [both laugh]

G: And he only would say this to Sam. He's like, "You need to respect me as your work superior."

C: As your coworker. Sam goes, "What the hell happened to him?" about Dean, and Cas goes, "Me." [laughs] Anyway! Yeah, Cas theorizes that Adam took him off in a dream, and Sam's like, "Well, where would they have taken him?" And we cut to the green room, which Dean also calls the beautiful room, so you're right that wasn't just from "so says the sword." [G: Hehehehehe.] And truly, I cannot believe this, it's the beer and the burgers again. [G: Yeah.] And Zachariah specifically points out, like, "Oh, I guess you and Dean enjoy the same foods." And it's like, I understand that beers and burgers are popular amongst men in the USA, [G: Yeah.] but like, this just feels more like Supernatural's like, what gets passed down genetically bullshit, [G laughs] you know what I mean?

G: Yeah. Like, Sam would have a salad in there, and that's from his mom. [laughs]

C: Yeah. [laughing] Yeah, no, exactly.

G: It was like, from that time-

C: When Mary's mom was chopping bananas [G: Literally.] in 4.03, that's why Sam genetically eats fruits and vegetables. [laughs]

G: I mean, I did just find it funny that's like, "Imagine a beautiful room" to an American, [both laughing] and it's like, a burger. [C laughing] I mean, that's kind of a corny, tired and played-out joke, but it is also pretty funny.

C: Burgers are pretty good.

G: I love a burger. I've said this before, I'll say it again.

C: Yeah, even though raising cows is ruining the environment. [G: This is true.] This is true. So Adam's digging in. He's like, "Okay, great. Yeah. Bring Michael down. I'm ready to get possessed." And Zachariah’s like, "Um, actually... uh, sorry. No, you're fired. You're not the chosen one. You're here for bait." And he goes, "If it's any consolation, [both laughing] you happen to be the illegitimate half-brother of the guy who we do care about. That's not bad, is it?"

G: He literally said, "You're Adam the Bastard." For him.

C: Yeah, good for him. Adam is upset about this, and he calls Zachariah a son of a bitch. And Zachariah goes, "How do you think I feel? I'm the one who has to put up with that dumb look on your face." Real.

G: He's pretty funny.

C: He is pretty funny here. And he starts explaining his plan,like, completely unnecessarily, I think. It really kills the momentum of the scene that he exposits so much. And then he says, "The tumblers finally click into place." So true! [G: So true.] Yeah, and he says that Adam will still get to see his mom, but Adam at this point no longer trusts Zachariah. Zachariah goes like, "You know what? I keep hearing this," and he does, like, the yapping/talking signal with his hand, [G: Yeah.] and he goes, "But what I want to be hearing is this." and he shuts his hand, and then Adam starts like- [G: Vomiting blood.] gagging and choking up blood.

G: Love it.

C: Love it! What a guy.

-

G: Dean wakes up. He's now actually handcuffed to like, the bed in the panic room, and Sam's like, "How are you, Dean?" And Dean says, "Word to the wise, don't piss off the nerd angels." He asks how things are going, and Sam was like, "Yeah, Adam's gone. [laughs] The angels have him. He is in the room where they took you" because Cas already checked it out. There's so many people, so many angels, so it's a bit of a Hail Mary, and Dean asks, "What are you going to do?" And Sam says, "Well, for starters, I'm bringing you with." And he starts uncuffing Dean and all that, and Sam says, "There's too many of them, so I can't do it alone. You need to be there."

C: But okay, we see how this plays out, and like, I don't know if they- His argument is like, "There's too many angels in there, and we can't take them alone."

G: It's a metaphor, Crystal.

C: Cas goes in there and he does all of it. Like, you two are standing outside! [laughs]

G: It's a metaphor! Or not it's a metaphor, it's a symbol. He's not actually saying this. He's saying something else, obviously.

C: Are you sure? [G: Yeah.] Okay, fine.

G: Like, he's trying to send a message. [laughs] Like, it's not at all about the fact at all. [C: Okay.] Sorry. Is that a bit condescending? [laughs]

C: [laughs] No.

G: [laughing] I'm gonna start saying shit like, "Water finds its level." [C: Like what?] I'm gonna start saying shit like "Water finds its level." [C: Real.] It's truly astounding to me- I was like, "Ah!" I was like, shocked. My mouth was agape. It was more shocking than anything I read in the actual book, [laughs] like, they should have put that in there. Sam goes, "Yeah, Cas and Bobby thinks it's a good idea- that it's a bad idea, but I'm not so sure." And Dean says, "Well, they're right that it's a bad idea because it's a trap for me to say yes, or it's not a trap, and I'm going to say yes, anyway. And I will. I will do it." And Sam goes, "No, you won't because when push comes to shove, you'll make the right call." And Dean says, like, points out- [C: I appreciate this.] the fucking message, which is like, "If tables were turned, I'd let you rot in here. I have let you rot in here before."

C: Closest thing to an apology, except for when he does give an apology at the end.

G: Yeah. And Sam says, "Well, I guess I'm not that smart." And Dean says, "Why are you doing this?" And Sam goes, "Because you're still my big brother." Man, I love this fucking scene. I mean, it's a pretty self-explanatory scene. It's just so incredibly, I guess, like, touching. Like, before Sam's goes like, "You're still my big brother," my primary thought was like, "He's trying to tell Dean that like, you're still my brother." [laughs] So when he said it, I was like, "My God!" What a wonderful thing for Sam to do. I mean, yeah, obviously, he didn't need to bring Dean there 'cause Cas took care of it. Cas is going to take care of it, whatever happens, because he doesn't want Dean to be there, and he doesn't believe in Dean at all. But Sam wanted to send a message, and it was successful. Good for him.

-

C: Okay, so they're outside an abandoned warehouse in Van Nuys, California, where the beautiful room is housed. God, I fucking hate when people do exposition lines that are like, "Tell me again why blah blah blah blah blah." Like, can't we come up with something else? Like, aren't we, like, beyond this as a species? But yeah, Sam says, "Tell me again why you don't just grab Adam and shazam the hell out of there." And Cas goes, "Because there are at least five angels in there." Like, Sam literally already said, "There's a bunch of angels," in like, the last scene. Like, we're fine! Cas takes off his tie. [laughs] [G: Lovely.] And he wraps it around his hand. What is that for? Is it still around his hand inside?

G: I think he wraps it around his belly. Am I so wrong it's unreal?

C: It's possible?

G: It's possible that I'm wrong?

C: No, it's possible that he- I mean, either way, either thing that's possible makes the other thing also possible. He says that, you know, he's heading on in, and Dean goes, "Wait, you're gonna take on five angels? Isn't that suicide?" [laughing] And Cas says- [G: "Yeah, but-"] "Maybe it is. But then, I won't have to watch you fail." [both laughing] God! Maybe Cobby is real. Like, the suicide-threatening brothers. He says, "I'm sorry, Dean. I don't have the same faith in you that Sam does," and he pulls out a boxcutter. Sam's like, "What the hell are you gonna do with that?" And we find out eventually, 'cause he goes inside, and honestly, these angels are terrible at guarding. There's like, an angel that comes in. He kills one. And then there's four others, and they start approaching. And, like, one of them is a woman, which is appreciated because, like, from what we've seen, the gender ratio in Heaven is like, completely fucked. [G: Yeah, this is true.] We have Anna, like, that one woman who's dead at the beginning of "Head of a Pin," and this one, and that's like, it so far, right? And like, otherwise, there's like, 50 million random guys in suits, like, all the time. I don't know. It's probably a combination of Supernatural being, like, misogynistic and then like, who's available to do fight scenes as an extra and the gender ratios of that.

G: Yeah. I think it's also just it's not part of their consideration. Like, they don't think about it. 'Cause like, if you thought about it, and you made the intentional point-

C: Yeah, like, so many struggling actors out there who would, like, do anything to be on Supernatural. Like, you'd find the people. So he tells all the other angels, "What are you waiting for? Come on!" And they all close in around him, and he tears his shirt open, [G: Love that.] and he has carved a sigil onto his chest, and then he presses his hand into it, and all of them, including him, get zapped away. Slay. They creep in to get to the green room.

-

G: It's Dean who like, comes in first and sees Adam, and so he goes up to him, and Adam's like, "No, you shouldn't be here 'cause it's a trap." And Dean's like, "Yeah, I know."

C: Yeah, there's the whole exchange where Adam's like, "Oh my god, you came for me!" And Dean's like, "You're family." [laughs] Yeah.

G: Zachariah immediately shows up. He's like, "Do you really think it would be that easy?" and Dean goes, "Well, did you?" And Sam gets thrown into the room and he's like, dying already, so, love that.

C: Well, the point is that this was supposed to be a distraction so Sam could stab Zachariah in the back with a angel blade, but [laughs] Dean gave the game away by having his fun little line. He's always gotta have a fun little line. Yeah, also, Adam's still been on the ground, bleeding and stuff.

G: Yeah. And they're on opposite sides of the room. So when Dean is looking at the both of them, he looks on on opposite sides of the room. Dean tries to negotiate for Adam. At some point, Zachariah goes, "Wow! Like, I was so impatient. But see, it's all playing out like it should, as the bossman says. You, me, your hemorrhaging brothers," and I thought that was pretty funny. Zachariah is taunting Dean. Dean finally- he plays it a little bit like, "No! Please don't, please don't." And then he goes, "Fine, I'll do it. The answer is yes." Dean goes like-Zachariah hesitates, and Dean goes like, "Do you hear me? Call Michael down now." and Zachariah goes, "How do I know you're not lying?" which is, I didn't- Isn't the point like, you can trick the person into saying yes? [C: Right.] So I was like, kind of confused by this a little bit because, like, the moment Dean says yes, what you would think would happen is Zachariah would just jump into the opportunity. But no, he hesitates, and I'm like, "Huh. Why?" Anyway, Zachariah calls Michael down, and there's this shot of, like, Sam looking at Dean, and it's a close up, and then a close up of Dean, and he really does look like he's going to say yes, and then Sam again, and then Dean, and then he's just looking, and then his face lightens up, and then he gives, like, a little smile, and then a wink. And Dean goes, "Okay, I have a few conditions. There's a few people who you have to guarantee are safe before I say yes." And Zachariah's like, "Okay, fine, whatever." And Dean goes, "But most of all, Michael can't have me until he disintegrates you"! [C: Slay!] : And he goes, "Yeah, he has to turn you into a piece of charcoal." And Zachariah goes, "Do you really think Michael is gonna do that?" And Dean says, "Who's more important to him now? You? Or me?" Zachariah, you know, he starts getting real mad. He goes, "You're nothing but a maggot inside a worm's ass! Do you know who I am? After I deliver you to Michael?" [C laughs] And Dean goes, "Expendable." And Zachariah goes, "Michael's not gonna kill me!" And now, he is near enough Dean, like, he's really crowding into Dean. And Dean goes, "Maybe not, but I am." and he stabs Zachariah, like, through the head so it goes up his chin. Michael is coming, and Zachariah is fucking dead, baby. And it is a fun shot, honestly.

C: How did Dean get the blade? Did Sam drop it?

G: Cas gives it to them earlier. Two of them. Cas gives two blades to them.

C: Why does- Wait, Cas has a third because he kills an angel when he comes in as well.

G: So what you're saying is- What are you saying?

C: Okay, well, no no no, you're right, you're right. Because Cas has his own, and then he killed two angels at the site of Adam's burial, so he had three total blades. Okay, fun!

G: Yeah. I mean, we didn't even talk about the scene when Cas puts down the blade, which is like, I do think that is like, a really fun time to be doing all that. Obviously, they're like, you know, really close to being in danger now, but also, like, giving Sam and Dean this specifically at this moment, especially when Dean's being such a fucking asshole is like, "Wow. Brave move."

C: Yeah, he trusts Dean to not kill him in his quest to say yes to Michael.

G: Anyway, yeah. The Zachariah imprint is- he's kind of propped up sideways, right? against the wall, so the the angel burn mark goes up the wall and then down to the floor on the other side. Very fun. [C: It's wonderful.] Goodbye, Zachariah. I won't miss you, but I was pretty glad you were here. [C: Yeah.] Anyway, Dean tries to get, you know, Adam and Sam out, and Sam leaves first, but then, I don't know. Adam gets left behind for some convoluted reason, and then suddenly, he's inside.

C: Yeah. The room's filling up with light and like, high-pitched noises. Like, Michael is coming for real.

G: Adam, like, turns around and looks at the light. It's gone. And when Dean opens the door again, it's just an abandoned office.

-

C: They're in the Impala after, and Dean tells Sam, like, "Probably Adam and Cas are not okay, but we'll get them." You guys do not get Adam. [laughs]

G: They don't give a shit.

C: Yeah, and Sam goes, "So." And he says that he could tell from Dean's expression that he was really going to say yes, "So, what changed your mind?" And Dean says like, "The damnedest thing. The world's ending. The walls are coming down on us. And I look over to you and all I can think about is, 'The stupid son of a bitch brought me here.' I just didn't wanna let you down." That was a nice line, I think. [G: Yeah.] I think it brings home the whole, like, what we've been saying about how this episode is supposed to be about the Apocalypse, but it really is just about [G: The people, yeah.] everyone's personal relationships and how they rely on Dean for certain things, so yeah.

G: I did- It's the first time in a while that I teared up at something in Supernatural because I'm just genuinely affected by it, and it's this one. Aw!

C: And Sam goes like, "You didn't. You almost did, but you didn't." And Dean says, "I owe you an apology." Sam says, "You don't." Incorrect, Sam.

G: Well, he does, Sam, so.

C: Yeah. So Dean says that, "I don't know if it's being a big brother or what, but to me, you've always been this snot-nosed kid that I've had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that's not you anymore." And this is all good content. And then [laughs], he goes, "If you're grown up enough to find faith in me," [laughs] like, okay. Like, this is what did it? Sure, man. You know, "I never trusted you before, but now that I know that you wuv me, like, for realsies, maybe you are smart!"

G: I don't think that's- or at least I didn't read it like that. [C: I know that's not directly what he means.] I read it as like, you know, like, what Sam did is not simply like, put faith in me the way you would, like, an older figure that you're just trusting blindly. Like, the point jere is Sam intentionally, willfully put faith in Dean, even though, like, that was not the best idea or whatever, and that is removed from Dean as a figure in his life, but like, just plain belief in Dean as a person. Like, that's what the point is. It's like, "grown up enough to have, like, this mature, adult understanding of like, what it means to be here and to trust each other." You know what I mean? Like, that's how I saw it. [C: Okay.] And especially because the way Dean puts it is like, "I always saw you as our role. I was your big brother, and you're like, a kid I needed to look after, so like, I didn't trust you as a person. I took care of you as a role," versus, "But now I see that you actually do see me as a person, so I will start treating you outside of our roles as well and see you as not my little brother Sam, but just yourself." And I respect that. I like that.

C: Sure. Yeah, I can learn to... [both laugh] respect that. Yeah, "If you're grown up enough to find faith in me, the least I can do is return the favor." And then he says, like, you know, "Screw destiny, I say we take the fight to them and do it our way," thus returning to the same way every Supernatural episode ended [both laugh] in the earlier half of Season 5.

G: "We're just gonna keep on going," yeah. [C: Yeah.] "We can't give up."

C: And Sam says, "Sounds good. We have to stick togethah!" [G: Togethah, even.] So that's that episode.

G: That's an episode.

-

G: So, as we've established, and you seem to thoroughly point out, too, we like this episode. Good one. [C: Yeah.] Pretty good one, honestly. Really good. [laughs] Yeah. And like, I don't know, 'cause it's the same conclusion, right? [laughs] Like, as you said, the ending;s literally every ending of a Supernatural episode of Season 5, but because there is like, a change from who they are at the beginning of the episode to now and who they have been throughout the season and now, so it feels more rewarding, even if it's the same shit because it's like, it means something different. And that's fun. That's wonderful.

C: Okay, Best Line/Worst Line.

G: Hmm! I think the worst line, I really don't like when Dean was like, "So you got to third base?" [laughs] Like, it feels so unnecessary, and a lot- I mean, most of the misogyny on this show's pretty unnecessary, but like, that one specifically is like, that's not even the vibe of anything, so like, I don't know man.

C: Yeah. Oh wait, I think Dean saying, "All you've ever done is run away!" [G laughs] [G: Is pretty funny, yeah.] And for Sam to be like, "Yes. And I was wrong! Every time!" Like, seriously engaging in it instead of it being like, "Dean's lashing out and being dumb," I think that was dumb.

G: Yeah, I think the one there is like, Sam's reply, it's like, "My god." [C laughs] Anyway, okay, my best line is, I would say, Dean specifically asking, "What are you doing?" to Sam. Like, "What does this mean? Like, what are you trying to tell me?" And Sam replying-

C: In what scene?

G: In the scene where Sam's telling him that he's going to bring him to the thing. And Sam goes, "You're still my big brother." And I was like, "Yeah. Pretty good. Love that one. Love that one."

C: Wait, I have another worst line. [G: What?] "I don't know whether it's gonna be demon blood [laughing] or some other demon chick or what." God.

G: I have another worst line for Bobby's sake. [C: Yeah.] "You want me to get out of your hair?" [C laughing] So true. [C: So fucking true.] What's your best line?

C: Huh, I mean there's lines that I said that I liked, but they've suddenly fleed my mind. [laughs] I like when Sam asks- The thing where he asks Dean, like, "Why are you actually doing this? Like, I- I really wanna know" or whatever. Like, I like how it was delivered.

G: Yeah. Yeah. Like, during the conversation where Sam goes, "Don't you say that to me"? [C: Yeah.] Yeah, because it's like, "Let's just drop the pretenses, man. Like, for real, for real." [C: Mm-hm.] Well, spreadsheets? Spread those sheets!

C: Yeah. Spread those sheets. Is the third base line enough to count as a misogyny point?

G: I think so, yeah. And also, they don't have any women in this episode, so like, I think we can be more brutal, perhaps, with if they-

C: Yeah, 'cause it's like, they really went out of their way to do that. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. Racism.

C: Racism, no? Not that I can recall.

G: I don't think so. Homophobia, I think so.

C: Homophobia, I'd say it counts, yeah. How much?

G: Interesting. You know, 'cause the thing is, I feel like you can argue for a higher one, but the thing is, I feel like there is- I don't know. Maybe a two, maybe a one. I'd say those are the-

C: Yeah, I think those are my thoughts as well.

G: So a two or a one?

C: I think that outside of what happens in here, I think there was like, queerbaiting thoughts [laughs] occurring in the minds of Jeremy Carver and Phil Sgriccia, perhaps. So I think-

G: No, but like, my question is like,when it really starts, you know, like, full-blown queerbaiting, what the fuck are we going to do with the homophobia stat? Like, sincerely, what are we gonna do?

C: I mean, I still don't think the queerbaiting is gonna be like, fundamental to the episode or whatever, right?

G: No, I mean like, I think there are episodes where it's fundamental. But then, like, it comes to the thing where I was talking about in the past, where it's like, I don't wanna label something as homophobia if it's literally just a gay character or something or like, a gay event. [both laugh] [C: Right.] If they're having a pride parade, like, that's not homophobic. [C: Right.] So I don't know. I'm curious about how it's gonna go in the future because, like, you know, there's layers to it.

C: Yeah, I feel like- Yeah. I don't know. I feel like there's a difference between, like, just like, "Sincerely, we're just developing Cas and Dean's relationship to be deeper" and like, [G: Yeah.] "Haha, they're gay." Like, I feel like we will be able to tell the difference.

G: To tell. Okay. Well, right now, I'm going for a one. That's my final statement.

C: Okay, alright, I'll go for that.

G: Okay. So IMDb. This one has gotta be high. I cannot think of a reason for it to not be.

C: I mean, people didn't like "Jump the Shark" 'cause I thought they didn't just didn't like Adam. Like, maybe they just don't like Adam again.

G: Yeah. Okay, what's your guess?

C: I don't- I do think this is a good ep- Okay, and it's pretty action-heavy, and that usually bodes well for audiences as well. I don't know if it gets like, 9 or above actually, though. I'm gonna- I'm gonna go with an 8.8, the same as "My Bloody Valentine."

G: Okay, I'm going to go for a- I'm gonna go high. I'm going to go for a 9.2. [C: Okay.] Okay, let's see. Oh my god! It's an 8.8!

C: Hell yeah, baby! What did I say?

G: What did you guess? You guessed 8.8?

C: Yeah.

G: Wow! Good for you!

C: Wow! Good for me, indeed!

G: This one is saying the plot is too compressed. Okay. Who give a shit? [laughs]

C: I don't think that is true.

G: Oh, this one is like, "On a rewatch, I'm kind of frustrated with how the show glorified toxic family love." Yeah, that's true.

C: I mean, I feel like if you're watching the glorified toxic family love show...

G: "I think it was the previous or this episode in which Sam says he was wrong for running away to Stanford. He wasn't. [C: No, true.] I guess the other thing is the who- is the who hero thing"? "Of course it's a show. I'm just pointing things out, necessarily complaining. Not necessarily complaining."

C: [laughing] This is our entire podcast.

G: Don't worry, we can complain for you. It's fine.

C: Yeah. Oh, so true. "He is also a huge hypocrite who says he wants a normal life for Sam, but only if he is dead because if not, he wants Sam tethered to him, like in Season 8." Say that.

G: Oh, this one- You know the reviewer who always puts the Brazilian title in the review? [C: Uh-huh.] They hate this episode, and they have been hating Season 5 in general.

C: They've been hating the angel/demon storylines a lot, yeah.

G: Yeah. I'm surprised people don't like it as much. It's a bit of a Tumblrina episode, perhaps. Is it?

C: What makes an episode a Tumblrina episode?

G: I don't know. It moves the characters instead of the plot, maybe? [C: Yeah.] I did not consider the action scenes. There were- I mean, Cas literally ripped off his shirt [C laughs] and then like, sigiled himself off that thing, so like, I don't know, man.

C: Two people have said like, "Oh, boo-hoo, Adam! You had to make your own dinner Sam and Dean have been through way worse!" [both laugh] which I think is a fascinating attitude to have in two different reviews.

G: [laughing] For a child! For a child! [C laughs] God.

G: we're talking.

G: God! Well, that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next time, we will be discussing Season 5, Episode 19: [laughing] "Hammer of the Gods."

C: No, do we have to? Do we have to? We could just skip it. Like, really, we can. Like, we control this podcast. We probably shouldn't, though.

G: But we said "every episode, from start to finish."

C: We do say that at the beginning. I say "every episode of Supernatural from start to finish." I promised. [laughs] You're right.

G: Yeah, we'll have to change our intro and everything. I mean, we're already changing our title, probably, [laughs] so like- [C laughs]

C: Probably?

G: No, we're not. But what if?

C: We're not. Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi - like, for real [G: For real, for real.] - at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com. G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries - or greetings for our 100th episode! at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. Again, thank you so much to everyone who's listened to us through this whole time. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

C: Yeah, it's been like, two years of our lives and also your lives, and that's pretty crazy! [G: Yeah.] And it's been nice to do this every week. It's been good.

G: Yeah, it's been! Yeah, see you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

-

[beep]

G: How- how long, timeline, have we been doing this? We started in January 2022, so it's like, a year and a something, right? That's- no no no. It's been two years and something! Damn!

C: January 2022 would be two years and a half, yeah.

G: It took us three years to do one-third of the podcast. [laughing] [C: Yes.] We're gonna be here for a decade! [laughing]

C: Yes. Correct. That is how math works. 2.5 times 3 is 10. [laughs]

G: I always thought that the "six more years" thing is a joke. [C: No.] But it probably isn't a joke because we're gonna be here [laughing] for seven more years, it seems like!

C: I mean, that's also with the fact that we were doing two episodes per week for part of the earlier weeks.

G: Oh, god. But we also quit for a bit. We didn't quit. We took a break.

C: We did quit for a bit.

G: We took a break for a bit. Oh my god, yeah.

C: That's true. It wasn't quitting. We were always gonna come back to you, baby.

G: I'll be eligible for like, [laughs] candidacy for many [C laughs] government positions by the time we finish this podcast. Yeah.

C: Yeah, and you'll never take any of them because of this podcast.

G: Exactly. Just so everyone knows, if the episodes of BABPod ever get taken down, it's because I either acquired a nice job [C laughs] or I've entered the government, which is the worst job of all time. So yeah. [C: Yeah.] It's never gonna be taken down. [laughs] Because I'm never gonna have a nice job [both laughing] or go to government. Well, let's see.

C: Like, a nice job that has like, a background check?

G: Yeah, probably, right? They'd probably be like, "What the fuck is this?" But also, they won't find it because I don't use my name-

C: Yeah, it's not your legal name.

G: Yeah. But like, I'll introduce myself, and I'll be like, "You can call me Grey." [C: Yeah.] And they'll be like, "Why do you have a podcast with your friend Crystal about Supernatural called Busty Asian Beauties?" [both laughing] What if we like, changed it- What if for the 100th episode, we changed the name of the podcast?

C: [laughing] To what?

G: Okay, here's the actual 100th episode thank you to our audience. [laughing] If you have any ideas [C laughing] for anything we can change the name of our podcast to-

C: We're gonna have to redo our logo? [both laughing]

G: - tell us right now. No, we'll have the same logo, but we'll messily scratch out the Busty Asian Beauties, and it'll be a different thing. [C: Alright.] This is like, partially a joke, but if someone recommends a really wonderful name, I'll even consider it, so like, still hit us up.

C: Okay, yeah. [G laughs] I'll consider it. If it's wonderful.

G: Yeah. So it has to be really good. And I think the technique for this is just throw everything at the wall. Just send whatever is on your mind, and if it hits, it hits. Crystal just said, "We should name our podcast Busty Asian Beauties," and I was like, "Haha!" and now we're here, so, you know, anything could happen. [C: Yeah. Yeah.] 

I know we have, you know, completely removed ourselves from Rubbish, but [laughs] multiple times, I still think about how when you were brainstorming for the title, which I couldn't participate in because-

C: Yes, because of how you didn't know anything about Good Omens.

G: Yeah. [laughs] And you were like, "What should we name it?" and said, "Why don't we just name it Ineffable Busty Asian Beauties?" [both laughing] And you said no. What a missed opportunity that was.

C: We're gonna change the name of this Supernatural podcast to Ineffable Busty Asian Beauties for the 100th.

G: Exactly! That's what we're gonna do. But we can't. But you know what? If enough people like, follow, and subscribe [C laughs]- What- Should we be promoting the podcast more? What do you think? I feel like we should.

C: This one? [G laughs]

G: Don't say it like that! The beloved-

C: [laughing] The only one we have?

G: [laughing] Yeah! Don't say that about this podcast! Don't talk about her like that!

C: Interesting pronouns for this podcast. Neither of us have those, but it feels right.

G: Yeah, so we can complete the basic trifecta, you know.

C: Yeah. "She" was meant to be Danica, [G: Yeah.] but she left, so.

G: But Danica left, so- [laughing]

C: - assigned female at Danica leaving is this podcast.

G: [laughing] People don't even know that like, Danica really was supposed to- [laughing]

C: Because you edited it out.

G: - Danica really was supposed to be a permanent host in BABPod, like, for real, for real.

C: She was- yeah, she was supposed to join in Season 4, but she quit [laughs] in the middle of 4.02. [both laughing]

G: [laughing] Not even the middle. I think we weren't even in the episode yet. We were still talking the title that is a reference to the-

C: No! No, we were in the middle of it. 'Cause [laughing] she quit because she realized that she didn't have an opinion on what Dean's hair looked like!

G: No! [laughing] No, it was like, not the middle of the episode. What I'm saying is, if it's a two-hour episode, she didn't even make it to the one-hour mark. [C: Fair.] Like, she's 20 minutes in like, "I don't give a shit." [both laughing]

C: Honestly, it's crazy that I was able to pressure her into joining at all.

-

[beep]

G: God. RPF is so funny.

C: I saw that post you reblogged. What does that mean? [G laughs]

G: The Cockles post?

C: The- yeah. I mean, I went to OP and it said "cockles." What is the three least-ordered menu items thing?

G: Okay. So like, when they first- around the time they first met in like, Season 4, Jensen and Misha-

C: Oh, this happened for real.

G: Yeah. Jensen and Misha went out to like, a restaurant in- Not California. Canada.

C: It's so scary to hear you talk, just use their first names only and together like that. [G laughs]

G: Yeah, it's terrifying.

C: Can you say  "Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins," please? Thank you.

G: [laughs] Okay. You're welcome. And I will, in fact, do this. Anyway, so while in the restaurant, they sat at the table and like, it was kind of like, a quirky restaurant, and Misha... Collins [C: Thank you.] was like, "Hey, Jensen Ackles. [C laughing] [C: Thank you.] Let's order some food," and then they called the waiter over, and Misha Collins told the waiter, like, "Why don't you give us the three least-ordered items in the menu?" And then they did, and then they talked about this in a con because they were like, "Oh my god, remember that meal we had? And there was this really weird thing that they served?" Anyway, ten years later, they went back to the restaurant, and they sat at the same table, [C: Yes.] and they took the same angle of the photo, and Jensen Ackles posted it on Instagram, like, "Before and after." like, "Ten years!" [C: Mm.] So yeah, people are like, "That's kinda crazy!" [laughs]

C: Eh. Kind of. I mean, I think the asking the waiter to do that was kinda crazy because that's the items that's gonna take the longest to make because like, none of the ingredients are prepped. Like, it's rude.

G: Maybe, yeah. I'm not sure about how restaurants work. Yeah, anyway, I'm just gonna have this information forever in my brain, and you will too. Congratulations!

C: No, I'm gonna forget.

G: Okay. [C laughs] Yeah, but the thing is, you think you would forget, and then somebody brings it up, like that Tumblr post, and you will remember. You will remember.

C: Alright. Okay. [G: Yay!] In a few years, when I do remember, I'll be in pain, but for now, I'm gonna choose to believe that I'm gonna forget.

G: Anyway, is this all gonna go into the Ko-Fi? Maybe we should put this at the end just as a "Thank you for the 100th!" bit

C: 100th treat. [G laughs] Sure.

G: Yeah. [laughing] The most important thing that we can give our audience is fucking-

C: Cockles information.

G: Cockles. [laughing] I'm not actually sure if I get most of those details correct. I'm pretty sure I do, but like, yeah, maybe not. And you know what? Maybe I don't get all of the details correct, but if anyway was like [C laughing], "Hey Grey, you got it wrong. This is actually what happened," it's like, what are you doing at the devil's sacrament? So like, no one's gonna indict themselves in that way. Or maybe they will! Feel free to [both laugh] like, comment, and subscribe? I'm not sure. Um, other things that you can do to contact us, probably. Thank you! And thank you for the 100th. [C: Yeah.] Yee!

[incarnateirony]

Perhaps one of my favorite things about Robert Berens, was he always knew exactly how to confuse, and then obliterate Jensen, in good ways.

An example of this is Who We Are. Jensen commented that through the season, he didn't understand why Dean was being so harsh on Mary. But in that moment, once he had to be Dean, and had to face it, he understood. Deeply, and primally, as we saw.

Then you get to, say, 15x18. While antis act like they suddenly can't understand english, he's clarified within that scene, he had a different take. Just like with Who We Are. It, again, hit him like a freight train, unlocking the mysteries of the Dean Universe even to his own vessel, making Dean see Dean, and running him over on the fucking tracks as a Destiel dumpster skidmark. 404 error, i forgot my line, what's my line?

Bless that man. There's a reason I've always focused on him, be it for rapport, conversations, or just outright the results he put in the show.

Berens earned hate because his work was always a deep cut; people saw it as hate for the character, rather than Cas-esque love for him even in the worst, much less his best, and seeing through the cracks in armor to the weak points. Berens saw Dean as clearly as Cas did, and in result, his scripts tended to blow Jensen off his feet.

One just blew so hard it blew him into a spinoff to make it gay.

[werewolfnatural]

okay but sterek and destiel crossover

cas is sat waiting in the empty twiddling his thumbs because he knows it’s only a matter of time before dean shows up to drag his ass back to life and all of a sudden Derek pops into existence next to him 

and cas is kinda confused that this dude is kinda glowing weird and so clearly a werewolf but not the kind they’ve encountered before, and so he and Derek just kind of side each other up for a while before being all “what are you in for?” “sacrificing myself for others that I love, you?” “same” “I had complicated feelings about a jeep” “yes my, uh, dean has intense feelings about his car too” 

and then suddenly two portals open into the empty and a pissed off Stiles is there, glaring and glowing kinda like Derek is, and dean is there looking between all of them to access the situation and to see if anyone is going to keep him from his angel 

and Stiles is all like “dude I’m only here for the dumbest alpha to ever exist, Derek, /this/ is why you can’t be left to your own devices! it gets you dying in front of our son! and yeah you’re glowing I warded your ass to send you somewhere I could come get you the second you brought up going back to beacon hills” 

and dean and cas are gravitating towards each other the whole time Derek and Stiles are bickering while Stiles sets up the spell shit he needs to bring Derek back, and they look at each other; cas wary and nervous after the whole confession and dean hesitant because he doesn’t want to ruin what they might finally get to have but they have to admit it is a little bit entertaining to watch these guys bicker

“you and dad should have called me, no case is more important than your /lives/! I swear to god I'm gonna wolfsbane all your asses once we get back, everyone but Eli goddamn. Der you scared the shit out of me” 

and Stiles and Derek peace the fuck out of the empty, Derek kinda worried about how pissed Stiles is but Stiles is just grateful it was something he could bring Derek back from, the anger is really relief in the face of his fear, and he’s making Derek swear they’re all leaving beacon hills and they’ll drag his dad along if they have to 

and dean kinda laughs once Stiles’ portal closes and they’re gone because “thank god we’ve never been that bad huh cas buddy?” and cas just /looks/ at him, truly wondering if dean can really be that dense but then, 

“come on cas, you can’t have me? you've had me for years. let’s go home” 

[meluene]

Castiel blinked awake, then squinted at the foot of his bed, where someone just landed on his legs. He blinked again, wondering if he perhaps had lost his mind, since he could swear that Miracle and Dean were in the middle of a wrestling match. 

“Dean?” Cas rasped out, propping up on his elbows. “What's going on?” 

“Oh, fuck…” Dean muttered, instantly releasing a hold on Miracle’s collar. “I'm not here in a creepy kind of way, I swear,” he said, as his eyes widened in fear. Meanwhile, Miracle moved away from Dean and curled up next to Cas’s feet, grumbling slightly.

“I just found her here and wanted to take her back to my room,” Dean rambled on, still on all fours between Cas's legs. With each word, he looked more and more miserable and lost. “I tried not to wake you, but she stopped listening to me…”

“...Okay,” Cas said, trying to wake up enough to establish if he was experiencing a very strange dream, or if Dean had really just appeared in his bed in the middle of the night, wearing only his briefs and a T-shirt. “I let her sleep here,” Castiel added, observing the other man closely.

“Oh… right,” Dean said weakly. “I'll just… go, then.” With that, he began scooting toward the edge of the mattress.

Many things happened at once in Castiel's still foggy-with-sleep brain. First and foremost, he realized he strongly disagreed with the idea of Dean going anywhere. In fact, he preferred him much closer rather than farther away.

Secondly, it suddenly became very clear that Dean didn't want to go anywhere either. All the years they'd spent together had done wonders for Cas's ability to read Dean's facial expressions, and the one Dean wore now showed that he was clearly distressed.

In that moment, all the hesitation and doubts disappeared from Castiel's mind, and for the first time in weeks, he knew exactly what to do. It was as if a switch had been flipped, and all the pieces clicked into place, forming a coherent whole.

Dean needed Castiel, but he clearly wasn’t going to ask for help. That didn’t change the fact that Cas was going to provide it anyway. 

After all, wasn’t that exactly what love was about?

He reached forward, closing his palm on Dean’s wrist, and before Dean could protest, Castiel pulled him under the covers and wrapped him in his arms. Dean let out a surprised gasp, but apart from that, he didn’t resist.

“Uh… Cas? What uh… what are you doing?” He asked, looking up at Castiel with wide, green eyes.

“I’m trying to sleep. Could you please just shut up? It’s 3 in the morning,” Cas replied calmly, hugging Dean closer to his chest.

The room fell completely silent for a moment, and Castiel could almost feel the internal battle Dean's mind was waging as his muscles slowly relaxed.

Finally, Dean spoke again, and his voice was now much, much softer. “Alright.”

Miracle sighed contentedly from the foot of the bed.

Castiel smiled, then closed his eyes. +++

AU Destiel fic - Marriage and all the other mistakes we’ve made.

[destieltropecollection]

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 26 | Fluff

Early Morning Rain | @sunshine-zenith

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2,403 Main Tags/Warnings: Newly Human Cas, Established Relationship, minor injuries Summary: A freshly human Castiel, an early morning conversation in the rain following a hunt, and a Dean that loves him so, so much

The Ghost of Christmas Present(s) | @mittensmorgul

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,121 Main Tags/Warnings: Christmas Shopping, fluff, established Dean/Cas, Summary: Dean and Cas need to do some Christmas shopping. Neither of them are very good at it, but they finally figure out what to get each other. Basically, just each other.

Warmth In A Snowstorm | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,794 Main Tags/Warnings: Nesting, Interspecies Relationship(s), Established Relationship, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mild Sexual Content, Comfort No Hurt, Angel Mating (Supernatural), Grace-Soul Bonding (Supernatural) Summary: On the left is the room where they’re making the nest, plus a small little storage area. The nest is the entire reason Cas built this place, so that him and Dean could get angel-married. Legally speaking Dean’s dead and Cas doesn’t exist at all so they can’t get regular-married, but even if they could, he’s pretty sure he’d rather do this anyway. Actually he’s very sure he’d rather put together a nest and do a binding ritual with Cas than say a dumb pre-written script and eat a cake he doesn’t even like because pie is infinitely superior but weddings don’t have pie…

Accidental August | @aishitara

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6,190 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, fluff and smut, established relationship, post-series, post-canon, bottom!Dean, top!Cas, Castiel and Dean Winchester have a profound bond, blow jobs, rimming, face-fucking, topping from the bottom, timestamp, Creatures of Light series. Summary: “Cas,” Dean says, the rich baritone of his voice settling sultry over Castiel’s skin. Calmly, Dean demands: “Look at me,” so Castiel does. In the dawning, Castiel can see Dean’s heart plain on his face, his soul thrumming with pleasure as he meets Castiel’s gaze. The feathery drag of Dean’s fingers over his collarbone becomes more deliberate, tripping along the length of Castiel’s neck and lighting a path along his every nerve. They hover over his throat, and Dean uses his index finger to push Castiel’s chin up, thumb settling with a possessive weight on his mouth. “Damn, you’re gorgeous,” Dean says, his voice barely loud enough for even an angel to hear, private. A moment passes and Dean’s voice becomes marginally louder. “And I love you so goddamned much,” he adds, leaning into Castiel’s space and kissing him. The air catches in Castiel’s lungs and a burst of love and euphoria kaleidoscopes inside him; it is still so new, this knowing that Dean loves him. That Dean wants Castiel as much as Castiel wants him. Castiel is incomprehensibly old, certainly to Dean and sometimes even to himself, but he has never in his life been so completely filled with joy as he is when the weight of Dean's love crashes into him.

The Right Words | @Kelsstiel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,862 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, alternate universe - high school, deaf Castiel Summary: Dean Winchester screwed up. Not in a major way, not really. Running into a boy in the hall is hardly on the top of his "major screw ups" list, but when that boy happens to be deaf and absolutely beautiful in every single way, it suddenly is. And he's going to fix it.

Dean and the Doula | @whichstiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,432 Main Tags/Warnings: Doula Castiel, Uncle Dean, Alternate universe Summary: Castiel is Eileen's doula, and the yarn unspools from there.

Season's Greetings | @pluckydean

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 9,166 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Pen Pals, Holidays, AU, Teacher!Dean, Teacher!Castiel Summary: Dean is ready to get back to work after winter break until the school administration reveals their New Year's resolution: bring teachers throughout the district together with an email exchange program. It's the last thing he wants to participate in, but a few emails with Castiel Novak might be enough to change his mind.

Cuddle Deprivation | Destielshipper4Cas (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14,222 Main Tags/Warnings: Creature Castiel, Fluff and Smut, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bottom Castiel, Top Dean, Alpha Dean, Omega Castiel, Pining, Human Dean, Happy Ending Summary: Cuddlibus Cas is in dire need of some alpha cuddles. He keeps running into his new neighbor who just so happens to be an excellent hugger. A mutually beneficial cuddle arrangement might lead to more than either of them bargained for.

Will You Be My Valentine? | @kcprexhatespshups-blog

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15,147 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe-Modern Setting, Teacher Dean Winchester, Librarian Castiel, Fluff, idiots in love, Charlie can't deal with these idiots. Summary: Dean is a kindergarten teacher at NorthStar Elementary, Cas is the new librarian and Dean is head over heels. He doesn't make the best first impression and tries to make up for it with coffees and baked goods. Watch Dean fall over himself while convincing himself that Cas doesn't feel the same way. Caught in the middle of these idiots is Charlie. Will they ever realize they both feel the same way?

Daddy Dance Recital | @motherofdragonflies

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 16,234 Main Tags/Warnings: Modern!AU, Dance Dads, Castiel is Jack Kline's parent, Dad!Dean, Lust as first sight Summary: Single father Dean Winchester saves the day for his daughter Claire after joining her on stage at her ballet recital with baby Emma on his hip. Castiel, another single father in the audience, is instantly gone.

The Few Things | @huggybearsunshine

Rating: Mature Word Count: 18,372 Main Tags/Warnings: Human!Castiel, domesticity in the Men of Letters bunker, Castiel is saved from the empty, Dean is not okay Summary: Castiel has been saved and brought back to the bunker. Only thing is, Cas came back with a renewed sense of self and a need to be more open and honest about the things he wants. Dean isn't sure he's ready for this new, emboldened Castiel.

[what-if-i-just-did]

Destiel Prompt List 21. Crossover with another ship

Trigger Warnings: some swearing, very small mention of being insane, some general rudeness, suddenly being in an unfamilliar enviroment.

Time Lord, Angel, Hunter, TARDIS

"Who are you?" "What is this- Cas?"

Dean looked around. "Uhm, Cas, babe, this is not the Bunker." "Yes, Dean, I can see that." "Where are we?" Dean turned around. "Where are we?" He tried again, this time asking the guy in the leather jacket and the blonde next to him. "Uhm. Hi.", said the blonde. "...HI... Why are you British? Cas if you zapped us to fucking England I swear-" "Yes, hi, now, who are you, and why are you in my TARDIS.", said the guy, sounding both amused and impatient. Dean looked at Cas, who looked at Dean, which ended the way it usually does untill the girl took a step forwards.

"Hi. I'm Rose, this is the Doctor. What are your names?" Dean self-conciously looked away from Cas. Then back a second to check that they were on the same page. Then to Rose. " ..Rose. I'm Dean, Winchester. This is Castiel. Uh, where are we?" "You're in the TARDIS." She said, and man, that accent was cute. So was she. Five years ago, he'd have tapped that. "It's uh.. it's a spaceship."

"It's a WHAt." "Spaceship. And time machine. Uhm. It also does alternate universes sometimes?, I guess." Dean blinked at her. "Uhm. Cas?? Can you please tell me she's lying? Or, like, crazy?" "No, Dean. We do appear to be in a distinct void of space or time at the moment. There is a difinitive nothing outside those doors." "Nothing? Like..?" He swallowed and stared into Cas's eyes (okay that happens a lot, who cares). "No, not like the Empty, don't worry, Dean." "Okay." "And.. you're taking his word for it? Who is he, then?" Rose asked.

Dean looked at Cas, but before he could answer, the leather-jacket guy did. "Well, he's not human." He swinged forwards a little bit by pushing off the railing and took a few steps. "Not human? He looks human." Rose said. Cas cocked his head. "Neither are you." Dean instantly reached behind him for his gun. "Huh? What is he?" Cas laid a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Dean, he's not a monster. He's.. " Cas looked at the man.. the not-man in question.

"Well, I'd say he's a Time Lord, but they're extinct." "A. A what?" "They're a species of humanoids from a planet called Gallifrey in a constelation incredibly far from Earth, it's quite beautifull. Or it was.. it was destroyed in the Time Wars." "Cas. Did you just say planet." "Yes, Dean." "Planet." "Yes." "So, aliens? Honest-to-goodness-aliens?" "Yes, Dean. Chuck created an almost infinite amount of stars and planets, did you honestly believe Earth to be the only one with life on it?" "I.. Well I mean we've had our fair share of cases which was supposed to be, you know, aliens, but it was always our type of thing.. I just kinda figured they, I dunno, might be out there, but I didn't figure they'd ever come to Earth. Or, y'know, look like us."

"Well, actually, you lot look like us. We were first, you know." "Ooh, he loves to have this conversation." Rose sarcastically butted in. "Yes, I'm sure it's facinating, but I'm havin' a comversation here, pal, and I don't remember inviting you." "Well excuse me, you're in my TARDIS, I'll talk to whoever I like, thank you very much?" "Oh y-" "Dean." "Doctor!"

Taglist: @idthegreen

[weirdbrothers]

9x23 - do you believe in miracles?

(and general thoughts on the season)

i got through this season in about a week, wtf! it was ok...

i liked all the samdean stuff

divorce arc is so hard sometimes but also i love it when they fight and talk about their emotions (can you tell i love angst?)

i've said it from s4 and i'll say it again: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE ANGELS AND THE DEMONS AND GOD AND WHATEVER ELSE!!! i know its like 50% of the show. i just can never seem to care that much. i find it so boring. at times its even confusing because there are so many characters to keep track of with weird names. this is why i loved s1-3 when it was about american folklore :/

finally sam is standing up for himself more about the gadreel thing! that shit was insane, dean WHAT were you thinking. dean from older seasons would have been more sus

i love crowley more and more, he has the best lines

Why did they make it so castiel suddenly understands pop culture references? did they think the blank stare and "i don't understand" was getting old? needed more writing material? felt forced to me

mentioning it again: still don't see what the destiels stans do... dean forced cas out of his home, the one he was full on nesting in with sam

metatron telling dean he has a "douchey tribal tat" is top 5 moments of the season

onwards to season 10!!! 😤