queseraphita · 1 year ago
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When i think about Jiang Sect and their main family like a business, I get this very vivid "treat each other like family" or "you're part of the family" relationship with Wei Wuxian has to the main family. I truly understand how precarious his status becomes in the Jiang sect becomes. Like an indentured servitude contract that continues gaining debt interest solely to keep you there indefinitely
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femmesday-addams · 2 years ago
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ALSO let'a talk about sofia mikhailov. footsoldier to the fucking mob like her father before her whose name she took on as if she was his son, as if she was HIS footsoldier, fighting in the trenches to free his legacy from control of the mafia that killed him. sofia, son of mikhail. trapped by the mob like katya but on opposite ends of class and power strata, finding freedom in gender nonconformity in seductive mirror of katya's restriction by her gender conformity. katya wants sofia to let go of her desire for vengeance because then she can walk away from the mafia and honor her father's death with her own peace and independence, and sofia wanta to aid katya's own mission to avenge the ways that her adherence to being a good wife, a good performance of womanhood and femininity, has not earned the love it was supposed to earn her nor the security nor the freedom because she sees the rigid hierarchy that killed her father and trapped her in his ghost slowly killing katya too. and they both resent each other, katya resenting what she sees as freedom in sofia's invisibility both as a low ranking member of the mafia and as someone who sometimes passes as a man for convenience, sofia resenting the wealth and status that keeps katya from ever having to feel the same fear that she does. it's why sofia makes all those incredibly blatant references to katya's "gilded cage," even going so far as to call her a little bird both flirtatiously and as an insult, and why katya uses terms of address and honorifics traditionally used on men with that tightrope balance of derision and desire. what makes them sympathize with each other and what makes them loathe each other are what makes them so specifically erotically compelled by each other to the point that they're almost willing to sacrifice their goals. the key difference between sofia and goncharov for katya is that while he is a dispassionate jailer who will never reciprocate the intensity of her feeling let alone the specific emotions, she is a fellow prisoner carving keys to free her from candlewax as the wick between them blazes. she's willing to let herself be burned by sofia because it's from a fire they SHARE but she is tired of burning herself to try and light even an answering spark in her husband, who has so emotionally deadened himself to the horrors of what he does to maintain his power that he cant even acknowledge that he might have desires at all, let alone ones that run counter to his position and, therefore, hers. sofia and katya have the potential to feel and act on their feeling!!! they can go on the run and fake their deaths and leave because their hope is fuel enough to take the risk!!! sofia and katya might be manipulating each other, might hate each other symbolically as much as they love and desire each other, but they allow themselves to feel the full scope of emotion they elicit in each other, and that's why they're so fascinating together
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ladyantiheroine · 2 years ago
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With The Wolf Among us 2 is on it's way, which version of Bigby Wolf do you think is the better, the comic book version or the game version, and what characteristic do you find so appealing?
Hello! Thank you for the question! 
First of all, let me begin by saying that as of right now, I have not read all of the Fables comics (I’m somewhere a little past issue #50-ish) so this answer may be imperfect since I don’t have all the information from the series. 
Short Answer: I prefer video game Bigby by a long shot. He's more nuanced, better-written, and hotter than he is in the comics.
Long Answer:
Bigby in the comics doesn’t have the same internal struggles and complex relationships that he does in the game. Part of this is because Bigby is less of a protagonist in the comics, which have a broader scope and are more of an ensemble story. Again, I haven’t finished the whole series, so maybe I’m missing something, but he just feels more one-dimensional. Most of the characters in Fables don’t seem to change much and he’s no exception. He’s not a bad character, just not particularly noteworthy. I do like how he’s a bit of a pulp detective nerd at the beginning of the series, like when he explains the whole “parlor room scene” trope and we see pulp magazines next to his bed in one panel. But aside from that, he feels surface-level compared to the game.
He also makes a lot of…questionable decisions in the comics that I don’t like. Specifically, ones relating to Snow White. Certain things he says to her and certain things he does I just don’t like. I don’t mind characters being flawed and making bad decisions, because every story needs that. But even when Bigby acts like an asshole in the game, you understand where he’s coming from as the underappreciated force that’s keeping Fables from killing each other. I understand Bigby’s bad behavior more in the game than in the comics. In the comics, he acts like an asshole sometimes for no reason other than he’s the Big Bad Wolf and a tough action-hero guy. 
As for Bigby in the Telltale game, it’s tricky to talk about his characterization because it’s based on the choices that each player makes. Sure, he’s a gruff detective guy no matter how you play him. But depending on your choices, he can be merciful and cooperative or violent and vengeful. I have my own preferences for my choices (I would argue Bigby is more complex and interesting when he’s trying to be good) but both of those routes make sense for someone like him. His character journey, combined with the moral dilemmas the story presents, makes Bigby an interesting, layered character.
This all ties into the overarching, personal struggle that Bigby wrestles with in the game, enabled by Telltale’s player-choice template: He is torn between falling back into his violent habits as the Big Bad Wolf, or resisting them in favor of carving out this new path for himself. These two paths determine his character arc in a nuanced way, and both are logical outcomes for his character. The struggle between his affinity for violence and his desire to shed his past is a fascinating balancing act he has to maintain, which gives him a lot more depth and opportunity for character growth.
Also, in the game, Bigby suffers consequences in a way he doesn’t in the comics. When he acts out and gets violent, there are often repercussions. You can sympathize with him because he’s putting himself in danger to protect a community that does not appreciate him and still sees him as the Big Bad Wolf. But at the same time, you can also understand why the Fables wouldn’t trust Bigby, not just because of his past, but because he represents the Fabletown government that has failed them. It’s a complex situation that makes him far more interesting, compared to the comics where he just…stomps around and does stuff. 
He also feels these consequences more, with a mix of guilt, resentment, and maybe even self-loathing. Meanwhile, in the comics, he seems indifferent to how others perceive him, a certainty with himself that gives him less to personally wrestle with. The game’s consequences give weight to his actions and take a more personal toll on him. The game interrogates Bigby's "Big Bad Wolf" side in a way the comics have little interest in doing.
On top of all this, Bigby has more interesting relationships in the game. The game explores the internal tensions of the Fable community much more than the comics ever did: The way the Fabletown government has failed to protect its citizens, the way Fables who can’t “pass” for human are at a disadvantage, etc. We see this in his relationship with Toad and Colin, the regulars at the Trip Trap, etc. We see him butt-heads with those in power above him at the office, like Crane and even Snow at times. We see him reconcile with his past relationships in his interactions with the Woodsman. Bigby occupies an interesting liminal space between being Fabletown’s protector and being Fabletown’s feared outcast, and this creates a host of different dynamics with the other characters he interacts with.
Part of this could be a genre thing, as the comics are more of a superhero war story while the game is a detective noir mystery. This allows the game to get a closer, more intimate look at the characters and how the events are affecting them personally, which, in my opinion, lends to more interesting character writing. And of course, as many have already pointed out, I’m not a fan of how the Bigby/Snow romance plays out in the comics. The game does a way better job of fleshing out their relationship despite the fact the two don’t technically end up together. I think Telltale is just better at this kind of character writing than Bill Willingham is. The game is more interested in exploring the implications of Bigby’s character and his relationship with the world around him than the comics are. Not just Bigby, but all the characters, really.
I could go on for longer, but to summarize: Bigby is a more complex and interesting character than his comic book counterpart, who is mostly a one-note tough guy who is generic at best and unnecessarily cruel at worst. The game gives us reasons and motives for Bigby’s character, while the comics just expect us to roll with whatever he does. 
Telltale Bigby has nuance, motives, and growth in a way he just doesn’t in the comics.
Also, on a very shallow level, I find video game Bigby much more aesthetically pleasing (plus he’s voiced by Adam Harrington in the game, and that man’s voice is smoking hot).
I’m sorry this answer is super long, I love analysis and this game gives me a Lot Of Feelings.
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onerabong · 2 years ago
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Dark Matter rambles
Warnings for major spoilers for the fic Dark Matter by @lara60
Something I’ve been meaning to say, I find it very interesting that Boros’ Meteoric Burst form so closely resembles Iryo’s body👀 Wonder if it’s just coincidence, or something more..
Edits of comments I left on the the Scorcher arc
I absolutely LOVE three dimensional characters with pasts shown for the readers to sympathize and relate to, while also maintaining their characteristics. There’s this Korean webtoon called ‘one last god Kubera’, and it doesn’t really have a single protagonist, rather, all the characters, including the antagonists in the story are shown their motivations, has complicated stories of their own supporting the motivations. Of course, there’s a balance between the main protagonists and the others via screen time but even the really side characters are shown to have depth and it makes the story absolutely heart gripping and insane. And I had a feeling that DM had that trait even in the earlier chapters, it intensified with the scorcher arc, especially introducing Valerio with his attitude towards Laura, and this chapter really sealed the deal. The whole story of Valerio’s and Lagareos’ past is, without a doubt, heartbreaking. Laura’s reaction however, is the cherry on top for me. How she still tries to use the situation to her advantage, to escape from the figure that abused her her whole life. Succeeding in it, but having heard his story, not feeling victorious at all. (on ch.15)
I love the characterization of Valerio. He seems more approachable, more kind, to confuse Laura(and the readers) and it works, and just when we’re getting comfortable he shows cruelty again. And the best part is that him being more kind is not some sort of act on his part, but is all genuine. His cruelty and kindness is both a genuine factor in his personality, which honestly makes him one of the most interesting characters I’ve seen. (on ch.16)
I love that it starts with a random newbie unaware of Nova’s powers adding to the suspension of what’s coming. Really shows how terrifying Nova is when you’re her enemy.
The twins meeting their fate was absolutely something else. So gruesome, so cruel, but very deserved, in Nova’s point of view. It’s not like I particularly liked the twins, for obvious reasons, but seeing them go was still kinda sad. Satisfying, but unfortunate at the same time(If that even makes sense lol). Because for them, of course Nova was the number one enemy, more for Nai, because she hated her so much. They were both horrible but they really tried so hard to win and still failed. But that’s what happens, which makes Nai’s last look of hatred towards Nova all the more chilling.
Boros giving out orders - Even if it was in such a high stressed situation and very natural since everyone was on edge, it’s still definitely something. It means he was that much sure of his decision and sure of his place as a crew member. I love to see his confidence grow little by little, especially in situations like these, cuz it really feels natural. Not to mention the fact it feels like a foreshadowing to his leadership..
Him having the idea to broadcast their message as a distress call too, that was so smart. Boros has been a huge help for the crew this chapter, when he’s only been part of it for a relatively short amount of time, which is pretty significant..
And to mention significant, him killing the scorchers. This is actually the first time we see Boros mercilessly kill sentient beings. He killed in the very first chapter, but the tone was very different. That was more of a self defense, he was lost and vulnerable and was attacking in a much more defensive stance. This time though, he was trying to protect Proxima and his friends, and they were his enemies, but the emotion that went into it(or the lack of it), the anger, the cruelty, is what makes all the difference.
(In this universe, killing sentient beings itself doesn’t seem to be a major problem in one’s morality. At least in the group of people we get to see. Be that the pirates, the scorchers, or other various smugglers. Which makes sense, because the nature of their work environment requires constant battles, and dwelling on the moral implications of each lost lives would change the fic into a whole different genre. Similar types of morality scale(?) I think can be found in Star Wars or the MCU. The problem arises however, when a subject with no power to, or desire to fight back is killed. Which can be seen with how the Pirates tried to save that little family from the Scorchers, and how Nova was disgusted with the massacre of civilians on her mission. Also with how the Voyager tried to contact the Maelstrom with the intention to help when they thought it was out of control. (I think))
So Boros killing those Scorchers is not a problem in itself, we see Nova do much worse. The changing factor here is that he’s gone from what was relatively a neutral bystander, to an active participator in the crew’s needs. The Dark Matter Pirates are the first real family Boros has ever had, the first people he actually loves and cares about, and he fiercely wants to protect them, to keep them.
“A cruel reminder that nothing in this universe is untouchable, and that if he wants to stay with his friends – with this wonderful group of people who had taken him in, considered him part of the crew, part of their family – he needs to stop hiding.
He needs to protect them, no matter what. It doesn’t matter from who – common bandits, law enforcement, Scorchers, or even the General and his pawns.” (from ch.17)
Dillio’s death was what really made him realize this I think, and right after that he’s faced with the risk of losing another member of his family.
Anything that threatens his family he will not hesitate to kill. He’s angry at the sight of the Scorcher soldiers, because their very presence is a direct threat to the survival of Laura. So he kills without mercy.
In a sense he is very similar to Laura, she also meets the Pirates and feels familial love for the first time. She loves them, wants to protect them, and anything that threatens them is her enemy. She hates the Scorchers for the things they do, and for the things they made her do, especially Valerio who was in the middle of it all. But there was a chance to see past all that, to heal and have a real connection.. Before they killed her friend, her real family. After that she shows no mercy. No doubt in her mind, no hesitation, she kills anyone that is a threat to her friends’ safety.
The difference would be that Nova’s been fighting battles almost all her life, either as a Scorcher, or as a Pirate. She’s used to death in battles, and this is just another one, one that is necessary to protect her friends. Boros however, is not. He was never a trained warrior, never in the midst of battles, he was just an engineer, watching from the sidelines. Now he actively joins in, all with the intention of death, to protect his friends. A natural change, but a big one. As of now Boros’ actions is similar to that of Nova’s.. but I wonder how that will develop over time..
Now it’s clear that Boros’ dreams show the future. The way he was about to call Proxima.. just before she does it herself- that realization, that his dreams show him the future, the CHILLS dude. God I wanna know how this is gonna work out as the story progresses. Can’t help but wonder if it’s connected to the visions Iryo’s been seeing. And the voice the Cyborg talks to. And the picture of the Galaxy that started all this. Also I am SO hyped for Iryo and Boros’ interaction. I mean, there’s gotta be a reason it was Iryo that was chosen to hunt him. Yeah, he’s a great tracker and has the General’s trust so he was chosen, but in a story sense- He has that protagonist vibe. Maybe I’m going overboard but I wanna see him and the General in action so bad.
The fact that Nova faces Valerio without her armor, it makes the interaction all the more real.
Valerio’s speech.. that he hoped for a life together.. that her coming back was a sign of trust, of reconciliation, just shows how self centered he is. If only he knew that what he was doing was hurting others, hurting the people he loves, that he was the problem and not them.. His method brought him from having nothing to leading a successful empire. He was the one who built everything up from scratch, and there was nothing to indicate that what he was doing was wrong, because the one person who said that he drove away a long time ago. And that was a fluke. It was Lagareos who was in the fault, not him. So he goes on, alone, and after a while makes someone he can care about again. This time the relationship is not one of an equal standing, but rather, one that is based on hierarchy. Laura is his daughter, his subordinate, so of course he gets to make the decisions for her. Control her behaviors, her future, her values. It never occurs to him that what he is doing is not an act of love, but of cruelty. He doesn’t realize that having a child doesn’t mean you possess them. Which is why Nova running away, making friends of her own, is a betrayal.
He mentions Lagareos, saying everyone he loves betrays him in the end. And the tragic thing is he did love them, both Lagareos and Nova. Of course he feels betrayed, the people he loves just won’t do as he says, won’t stay in his control, and for him, what is that if not betrayal? Everything has to be in his control, including his loved ones. But of course that can’t happen. He doesn’t realize that that kind of relationship is not a relationship at all. So with Nova’s ‘betrayal’ he learns nothing, and resolves to start all over again, this time without any ‘weakness’.
For a moment there I thought Nova was just going to talk to him, to just tell him how much of an idiot he’s been but no, all she has in mind is her friends’ safety, her number one priority. So she fights. Her tears as she kills him just adds to the tragedy.
Something about the first thing she sees after all that being Boros. Something about how after all that, she still has the energy to recognize her friend, and say his name.
The whole of the last sequence is such a beautifully written tragedy, the best conclusion this arc could’ve got.
(on ch.18)
The message Boros received.. the thing that started all of this.. I keep wondering if it has something to do with the Heart of the Universe..
-Most of this post is just edited comments for now but I’m gonna add more rambles as time goes-
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unitedstatesofworld · 2 months ago
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The Troubled Path of Aaron Brown Myers: Unraveling the Complex Story
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In the blink of an eye, a life can be forever altered. Such was the case for Aaron Brown Myers, a 51-year-old security guard from Washington, who now finds himself at the center of a legal storm. Accused of second-degree murder, Myers' name has become synonymous with controversy. The incident that led to this tragic turn of events occurred on June 5, 2024, outside a Big 5 Sporting Goods store in Renton. Myers, who mistook a group of teens playing with airsoft guns for real-life criminals, took action that would ultimately end in the death of 17-year-old Hazrat Ali Rohani. But who is Aaron Brown Myers, and how did a routine day turn into a nightmare?.
Who Is Aaron Brown Myers?
Aaron Brown Myers isn't just another name in the headlines. He's a man with a history, a life that, until recently, was likely as ordinary as anyone else's. Working as a security guard, Myers was tasked with ensuring the safety of the places he guarded—a job that demands vigilance, quick thinking, and often a heightened sense of awareness. But could this very vigilance have been his downfall? Or was there something more at play in Myers' actions on that fateful day?
The Incident: A Tragic Mistake
The events of June 5, 2024, have left many questioning the actions of Aaron Brown Myers. Outside a Big 5 Sporting Goods store, Myers encountered a group of teens, including Rohani, who were playing with airsoft guns. To Myers, those airsoft guns appeared real—too real. Fearing an imminent threat, Myers made a split-second decision that would change his life and end Rohani's. The tragedy lies not just in the loss of a young life but in the circumstances that led to such a grave misunderstanding.
A History of Overreaction
This wasn’t the first time Aaron Brown Myers had found himself in hot water for overreacting to perceived threats. In 2022, Myers was involved in another incident where he chased an unarmed person, convinced they were a danger. This history paints a picture of a man whose instincts, perhaps honed by years of working in security, have led him to see danger where there may be none. But does this history justify his actions, or does it merely serve to underscore the tragic nature of Rohani's death?
Legal Troubles and Community Reactions
As Myers waits for his trial, having been released on a $2 million bail, the community is left grappling with a mix of emotions. Some sympathize with Myers, believing he acted in the heat of the moment, doing what he thought was necessary to protect the public. Others are outraged, viewing Rohani's death as a senseless act of violence that could have been avoided. The courtroom will soon become the battleground for these differing perspectives as Myers' fate is decided.
The Role of Security Guards: A Delicate Balance
Being a security guard is no easy task. It requires constant vigilance, the ability to make quick decisions, and often, the need to assess threats in a split second. But what happens when that assessment is wrong? Aaron Brown Myers' case highlights the delicate balance that security professionals must maintain—protecting the public without crossing the line into unnecessary force.
When Does Caution Turn into Paranoia?
This question lies at the heart of the debate surrounding Myers' actions. At what point does caution, a necessary trait for a security guard, turn into paranoia? And when does that paranoia lead to irreversible consequences? Myers' previous encounters with perceived threats suggest that he may have crossed that line more than once. But was it paranoia, or was it a heightened sense of responsibility that led to these tragic outcomes?
The Impact on the Families
It's impossible to discuss the incident without acknowledging the profound impact on the families involved. Rohani's family is grieving the loss of a young life, a future that will never be realized. Meanwhile, Myers' family faces their own set of challenges, dealing with the public scrutiny and legal battles that have engulfed their lives. Both families are left to navigate a world that has been irrevocably changed by a single moment in time.
Moving Forward: What Happens Next?
As the trial date approaches, the world will be watching to see what happens next for Aaron Brown Myers. Will he be found guilty of second-degree murder, or will the court see his actions as a tragic mistake made in the line of duty? And what of the larger implications for security professionals everywhere? Myers' case may very well set a precedent for how similar incidents are handled in the future.
Conclusion
The story of Aaron Brown Myers is a complex one, filled with tragedy, questions, and the harsh realities of split-second decisions. While the legal system will ultimately determine his fate, the conversation surrounding his actions will continue long after the verdict is delivered. At the end of the day, we're left to ponder the thin line between vigilance and overreaction and the devastating consequences that can result when that line is crossed.
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rviner · 1 year ago
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Name: Isabella 'Bella, Bells, Bells-Bells, Bebe' Belcourt
Age & Birthday: 27 years old, December 16th 1996
Gender/Pronouns: Cis Woman She/Her
Birthplace: Washington, DC
Time in Hollow Cove: 4 months (Jul '23)
Species: Earth Witch - Belcourt Coven
Role: Comms / Runner
Positive personality traits: open-minded, intuitive, spontaneous
Negative personality traits: cunning, overzeleous, opinionated
ABOUT
Born into the political Belcourt pack in Washington, Bella noticed early on that her brain simply couldn't compute a black and white way of thinking. Her older brother, Sebastian, seemed to master this political minefield but Bella had a harder time simply seeing everything as a game of chess. Of course, being raised in a strategic pack meant that Bella eventually learned the power of persuasiveness. Instead of fine-tuning her broader way of thinking, Bella let that side of herself exist but simply became better at getting her point across and even swaying others towards it.
Her father died when she was young and Bella doesn't have many memories of Aaron, but each of them are fond. She couldn't turn to her older brother for help during this grief, and still she can't to this day. Instead, she became the shoulder for her younger sister Pri to lean on. Resentment isn't something that Bella can harbor easily, but she supposes if she was asked: Do you wish Sebastian was there for you more? She would answer with a very quick yes.
Bella has always admired her mother's strength, and admired the way Nadiya can maintain order and balance within a pack. But, Bella would never tell a soul that she sympathized with her uncle when he challenged the role as Alpha. Her ever open-mind allowed her to see his concerns and she didn't quite disagree with them, but Isabella learned quickly that it would have to stay with her to the grave.
Over the years, Bella managed the balancing act of her personality rather convincingly. She didn't miss out on any fun, even a few bouts of secretive and harmless trouble. All while still maintaining the Belcourt way of life. This slight mischievous flare has never gone away from her, she can be spontaneous and carefree but still never missed a single night of homework and still maintained her responsibilities. She still tries desperately to teach Pri this balancing act, but also finds herself admiring the youngest Belcourt's way of speaking honestly from her heart.
When they had to leave their life behind in 2019, Bella mourned for the sense of freedom that was also left behind with it. She still struggles with the loss but ultimately she treated survivalist as just another mask to wear. She stepped up to the responsibility of helping protect their pack. She wasn't in agreement with giving away the town's location, her vast mind already predicting running into wolves or vampires that would be impacted by the choice. Nor did she agree with bringing the newly turned wolf into the pack. She never said as much, even though it was probably written all over her features. Instead Bella resounds with a dipomatic response. For the sake of surviving, I understood why it had to be done.
When Pri was taken in the March of 2023, Bella's world was turned on it's head. Finding her younger sister is now Bella's primary focus, and she can see how hints of her mother are shining through her actions. Other members of the pack don't seem quite as important to her in comparison to her sister. A more ruthless side of Bella is surfacing, one that she didn't even know was there and one she is unsure what to do with.
Settling in Hollow Cove has been comfortable for now, Bella hands on with most tasks around town and often joining runs with her family to look for Pri. She tries with all her might to hang onto her more adventurous spirit too, but of course treating any harmless mischief she gets into as a balancing act.
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azenari · 2 years ago
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mother dreams of bunny girl | 3.8.21
originally published on TinyLetter
we were talking today about what we would do more of if we weren't beholden to the two unyielding gods that are money and time - - it actually took me a solid few minutes to remember how beloved a fountain of expression writing can be, and how foundational it was to chronicling my thoughts and identity before I met the person who now serves that purpose more fully than any pen or paper could. but hey, they're not mutually exclusive and he (my person) also tends to sleep early, and even though I now have a "morning routine" (unheard of to the K of yesteryear), my most intimate thoughts still tend to creep in late... ... so here I am, contemplating once again being at a crossroads at which I find myself feeling somewhat alone. but I'm not afraid of that, really, because unlike the last chapter of life in which I did a lot of writing, I actually enjoy my own company very much. I prefer the woman I've become to the girl I was, though I'm proud of them both. funnily enough, while my husband and I have undertaken most recent journeys together, utterly inseparable, we find ourselves eyeing one for which we will be separate but together - both deeply, existentially, and laboriously involved, but in meaningfully different ways because of how biology works. there will be things that only we can empathize with, and things for which we can only sympathize (on both sides, to be clear). we can hold hands, but each of us will have to walk a slightly different path. okay... in some cases, a very different path. it's occurring to me that most women (sometimes, unfortunately, girls) become mothers in darkness. in quiet silence, sometimes voluntarily, but sometimes simply because suffocation is all we've ever been taught when it comes to this process... and perhaps we would opt out if we could. I don't know much about motherhood yet, but both the actual thing itself and the act of becoming a mother seem like phases of life during which you simultaneously have no privacy in the areas you would like it and too MUCH privacy in the areas you would not. I think I've always been very open and also very private (another set of traits that aren't mutually exclusive). aspects of life that others would perhaps never share flow freely from my mouth and fingers. in contrast, other things that most would be comfortable disclosing I prefer to keep to myself. life is a constant juggling act of trying to maintain balance when the world is constantly threatening to spill over. sometimes in necessary ways that remind you of what's important, at other times far too much to digest without things falling apart for a while in service of eventually coming back together. what I'm trying to say is: I don't want to become a mother in the dark. I don't particularly want to be all the way in the light either. perhaps the best way to put it is that I would like to share the experience of not just being and becoming a mother but also ASPIRING to motherhood, because who on earth covers that? I am fortunate, perhaps painfully so, to understand the deep and inexplicable greatness of a mother's love (along with the vast abyss of its absence) because I have both lost my mother and found her in scattered moments within the series of mother figures that followed - each of which I am eternally indebted to. I have been privileged to learn so much from this colorful tapestry of women and men alike, and yet still I find myself with infinite questions, searching for evermore needle and thread. in essence, I want to share my dreams of motherhood on my own terms. I don't want to be closed off, nor do I want invasive, uninvited intrusions. rather, I want to connect in a way that is meaningful and true, in a way that allows others to hold the dream of our child with us should they so choose; and in opening ourselves to them, provide some semblance of hope and solidarity in return. if I were to guess, I would imagine mothers are often lonely. at other times, I believe they feel fuller than any other creature on earth. in all of this, good and bad, up and down, life and life, there exists real meaning.
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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years ago
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Picasso's Night
The previous post Adriana Arboleda brings you up to date with the analysis if you would like to go read it before you start reading this one :)
Now this day has been a pretty eventful one. For one: We witnessed Armando show contentment that morning when he saw Betty for the first time that day. Totally absorbed by her existence until Mario cleared his throat.
Armando screwed up big time when he made it seem and acted like spending some alone time with AA was a lot more important than Betty or the company. He yelled at her and said she got on his last nerve and since then Betty has been on a bad mood with Armando, who after Mario told him that Betty was jealous had a moment of realization and has been feeling pretty awful since then.
Interestingly enough as the night progressed and Betty was invited to the exhibition of Picasso's collection, Mario kept insisting that Armando go and speak with Betty since he was leaving to Miami the next day.
Though this time, unlike the last time he traveled, before Panama, Armando was a bit more hesitant to leave. It wasn't merely because of the new collection they were going to launch and it wasn't because of the state of company. Armando looked at Betty to see if he had any reason to stay, looking at his best friend for any excuse to stay.
After Marcela tells Betty to reserve two rooms at the same hotel they stayed last time and Mario agrees to them traveling he then starts to insist that Armando go speak to Betty and apologize for his behavior that day.
The one thing that Betty did begin to screw up on(aside from starting an affair with her hawt boss) is that now emotions begin to play a huge role, not in the personal part of her life but the professional.
Betty has always been good at maintaining a good separation of what is professional and what is personal(although most of the times when she didn't she was following Armando's lead or example) . At the start of their affair, the day after Armando kissed her for the first time, Betty stayed professional. Even afterwards, Betty stayed professional. When it has come to company time Betty has stayed professional except this time she didn't.
Her jealousy, her feelings took control of her, foretelling things to come, less than 24 hours away.
This also pushes Mario with this idea that Betty must be catered to by Armando in order to keep her under control, though Armando knows best and he knows Betty won't betray him, Mario keeps pushing this narrative and when Betty doesn't agree to it or deny she'll do it Mario understands this as her holding it over Armando's head because of what he did that day.
Writing this now has made me realize that that's the reason he wrote the letter to Armando, not as some stupid mistake or for Betty to find it, though that's a pretty good theory, is that he did it for Armando's sake. Here me out!
For one he truthfully believed that Armando would be stupid enough to screw up giving Betty her gifts and that it would ruin the relationship but the cruelty of this letter exceeded even his jokes behind closed doors, that Armando didn't find amusing anymore, even before he slept with Betty the first time. I'll explain this in the post regarding that fateful letter and from the point of view as a writer and why even that sequences of scenes was a bit choppy and had it's mistakes in execution.
Now here when Armando asks her if she will embellish the balance for him for the big board meeting she allows her anger and resentment to come above her labor obligations and she doesn't give him an answer, better yet she finds a way to ignore the subject. Yes you can argue that Betty was always motivated by her secret crush and her secret feelings for Armando to do all the things she did it in the past, like the first time she embellished the balance and while yes that is true. I have pointed out how Betty showed her love for Armando through her work. He had upset her as well in the past and she'd still do it because in the thick of it she couldn't see him fail when she had the "solution" in her hands but this time her feelings-though extremely valid since he did end up hurting her feelings not as his employee but as his girlfriend- come above everything because this time her ego, the one he was helping to build up, was crushed by the man himself and that is a mistake. Especially when it comes to something that doesn't only directly affect Armando but an entire enterprise where her friends happen to work in. This again foreshadows events to occur in less than 24 hours.
Later when he goes into her office to talk to her she tells him that she doesn't do that, but he interrupts her and tells her that he doesn't want to talk about that but that he wants to talk about Adriana and what happened in his office.
Again though Armando contradicts himself a lot when he is with Mario when we see him with Betty we know where the true nature of his worry or concern lies and it isn't the company but their relationship. The evidence in this is how he behaves when Mario brings up the company compared to his relationship with Betty.
After Betty leaves Mario explains why Betty was hurt and that he can't leave with Betty being hurt, angry, and resentful because she's got the company in her hands. Armando looks angry when Mario is explaining what his mistake translated to Betty. He's angry at himself, while Mario talks about the company Armando has his back to him, peaking outside of the blinds and then turns to him.
"What you're doing is throwing away all that work [we] put in the days before. You're practically telling her that the relationship is just a game. That for you the ninety sixties are a lot more important to you." Armando quickly looks at Mario when he says this, again he is maintaining himself composed and controlled with his emotions as his face doesn't give much of a reaction but the quick jerking of his eye sight allows us to know that this part, from all of what he has said, is a lot more important to him than the company, again because he trust Betty with it, and that he is more worried about the way he has offended Betty. "that this is made of paper and let me tell you something; an ugly wounded woman is more worse than a wounded tiger and that wound doesn't heal with pats on the back, no Sir."
This conversations motivates Armando, not to go talk with Betty since he already wanted to do that but to go searching for her so he could fix his mistake and clarify just how important she is to him.
At the exhibition Betty points out his needs with the models to which Armando tells her that she makes him feel like if he were some seggsually deprived man, which is true. This does make the assumption that Armando's conquests or what not where meant to be written as a borderline seggsual addiction behavior type of thing since she doesn't say "your infatuation, your affairs." she clearly says "your needs with the models".
The conversation here is important because it begins to open a can of warms. She tells him that he'd look good with her, that Adriana Arboleda and him would make a good pair. That their attractiveness complements each other.
"I understand asking for privacy for one thing only." We then see a frame of Armando(lol the painting behind him has to be comedic gold!) who glances away from her, lips with a slight frown but not tight or pursed, showing that he isn't mad or frustrated rather he is upset with himself. "You wanted to be alone with her. Besides I'm not asking for you to give me any explanations. At the end of it you are the president and I'm your assistant. Besides this all happened during work hours and since I've worked for you I perfectly know your needs with the models." She glances around and leaves as people get closer to them. Armando then goes after her.
Right now I'm going to admit that I was wrong, well somewhat. I wrote a post once saying that Betty was calling Armando Don instead of Sir as the relationship progressed but I was wrong. Betty uses the title of Sir as a term of respect for Armando. Even here when they've slept together and she's seen and felt the change of Armando towards her and their relationship she still calls him Sir or Don Armando, that doesn't change. However the somewhat mentioned does change when it comes to Armando. So I was wrong but towards who the theory fell upon. @el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle was right and there isn't much of an importance when it comes to Betty and what she calls Armando. HOWEVER let me preference this that the person I was pointing this theory towards was my bad however the theory of changing names or titles is correct.
If you've read my untitled post regarding my OC and her relationship and how that helped me realize how I wasn't sympathizing with Marcela and that not only was A+M relationship toxic but as well as dependent than I gave you some glimpse into my original writing and how that process helped me be able to understand this part of their relationship and now that this is out of the way, let me tell you why these last two paragraphs are here.
My OC has a habit of never remembering peoples names on purpose, she does it as a power move. As if saying "You're not that important for me to remember your name." she does it especially to annoy people. Also because she's distracted half the time judging a person when they're first introducing themselves. Armando does something similar with Betty on her first days or weeks at Eco Moda.
Men tend to ignore women who they aren't attracted to. Armando did this to Betty. On a professional level he didn't ignore her but as a woman he did. We knows this because it was clearly presented this way at the start of the novela. However I really made my self take notice of this when I re-watched the first half of the novela(I haven't seen the ending bc I tend to avoid things that I cannot control or expect).
My OC is introduced to a guy who she can't stand and at first she calls him all sorts of names starting with the letter 'C' until she managed to remember his last name and calls him that for the remaining of the beginning of the story until they become friends, she switches between Caleb and Anderson, often times calling him by his name when they are having friendly conversation. When they become good friends and establish their friendship he no longer is just Anderson to her but Caleb, someone worth remembering. This is a small detail that I thought would allow the reader to determine the change of tonality between these two characters and their relationships and honestly one of my favorite details to write so when I first noticed this, I got too excited and projected it onto Betty when in reality it was Armando.
Now that I've spoiled my own writing(that I'll most likely never publish) let me explain why I bring this up, finally.
Armando called Betty at the start of the novela "Emperatriz". Once they became more familiar and Betty corrected him and told him he could call her Betty, he finally remembered her name. It's important to note this small detail because just like I intended to write it, so did Fernando Gaitan(I'm assuming lol). He did know her name but he didn't care to register it. Marcela called her Beatriz in front of him, Mario called her by her name, everyone did except for him, and she[Marcela] got upset at him when she heard him call her Betty because in her[Morch] eyes that was a cute nick name to have for an employee, especially for an "ugly" secretary. Now the switch between Betty and Beatriz did happen before the affair started, however the switch was a little bit more noticeable as Armando began to blur the lines of personal and impersonal.
In this scene though and the scenes before this, whenever emotions were heavily involved, especially when it was regarding their relationship Armando calls Betty, Beatriz, in fact even when she wasn't present in the room and he'd talk to Mario about his feelings and why he felt guilty(before he'd shut off this part of him bc Mario would start making jokes) Armando referred to Betty as Beatriz and not Betty but when it came to talking about her as an employee and not a woman he'd refer to her as Betty, it happens this day as well. When he gets upset that she won't let him spend alone time with AA and he yells at her and calls her Betty.
Why am I bringing up this small detail in this post? In this scene and the scene in Mario's apartment this is very evident and signifies the growth of his feelings and his conscious commitment to Betty as a woman.
Finally, after a bit of arguing inside the museum they leave together, of course, after sneaking out because Marcela went to the museum trying to catch him.
It's also important to note that when they found out Morch was in the museum that Betty asked Armando if he had anything to drink. It's pretty standard for him to be drinking, tipsy, or even drunk when he goes out with Betty. The one time I can remember him being completely sober was when he had to confess his feelings for her, soberly, the day after he kissed her for the first time. I broke that down in another post :)
Other times while he hasn't been drunk or tipsy he has had a few drinks at the office, however again it's pretty standard for him to drink and she knows this but why is it something that is brought up here?
Betty attributes Armando's behavior, especially when he is this...stubborn in doing things that could expose their relationship when he has been drinking. Not only that but also because the night they first hooked up they both had been heavily drinking, especially Armando and it is important as the continuation of the night leads us to Mario's apartment.
Outside, in his car, Armando finally gets to clarify his actions as he apologizes and tells her that he only wants her to know that she's more important to him than any other woman and he isn't shy to name the woman as he says: "than Adriana Arboleda, than Marcela or any other woman." This sounds a bit rehearsed but not like the previous times where we can even notice in his tone of voice and his micro expressions that he does so for manipulation. A great scene to use as a contrast to this attitude of his in this scene is the one where he makes out with Betty, the night he fights Roman and Co(wrote a post about it too). This lets us know that he really did think about how to apologize to her. While here his tone is rehearsed his micro expressions aren't a show, in reality his behavior is natural and goes along with what he is saying.
Now Betty in a teasing tone replies to him saying "That's not true." (also because she doesn't believe him)and Armando in a very serious tone and even a seductive tone, gazing his eyes down her body and back to her lips tells her that of course it's true and leans in, placing his hand on her face and they start to kiss.
This shows us that Armando once again isn't only feeling his emotional attraction to Betty, which is what moved his physical attraction forward in the past but now he can tell the difference between these two and he is okay with them! This is a huge step for Armando because he no longer is denying these things from himself. In fact he encourages himself and Betty to have these desires for one another and that as the days progress since their first sinful night his desire for Betty only continues to increase.
When they pull away his phone starts to ring, Betty asks if it's Marcela and Armando's facial expression and tone tells us it is as he looks annoyed and pissed that she's calling him.
This reaction is also standard for him because it's the exact same expression he pulls every time Marcela calls him. Especially when he's with Betty. However this small detail we've been given through the past episodes and this night also hold much significance in future episodes when his reaction to her call no longer is standard behavior from him.
While at the start of this phone call his tone is very forced in "lovingly" speaking to Marcela, his micro expressions again show us that he is just pretending. This tone is one we've heard a bunch of times before and it's one that is solely reserved for Marcela. Even on her part she tries to speak "politely" and just as if she were simply calling because she was curious but as this conversation goes both their dances of trying to keep things peaceful and civil subside and they basically start a mosh pit where they become more hostile until Armando implodes on her.
Marcela in a her standard of questionnaire routine asks Armando who he's with, hesitant he admits he's with Betty.
Her reaction to this however isn't standard of just guilt, taking into consideration the events of the day and that even Armando has told her that Marcela stops nagging him when she knows he's with her and because she's also eavesdropped and heard Armando say that Marcela doesn't consider her as a femininely threat, much less a woman, she once again gets hurt.
One could assume Armando did this to cover his tracks in case anyone told Marcela that they saw them leave together. It's also not hard to believe that Armando is stupid and says things without thinking them through in the heat of the moment however what is more obvious is that he probably wanted to take Marcela off his back so he tells her that he's with Betty. The small pause he takes before he says this helps me determine this. It could also be that he did so in case anyone did tell Marcela he left with Betty.
As Armando implodes on Marcela for insinuating that he lied to her i.e that he's going to go off with his mistress, Betty shifts in her seat and then she looks uncomfortable, returning to her guilt.
In this scene Betty experiences first hand this toxic side of Armando, one she has seen as a boss to employee scenario but not as a significant other. She has heard and even been in the middle of their fights in the past and while even then she behaved professionally, and also guilty this time she shows a lot more emotions raging from being uncomfortable to even being upset with Armando. This however is a small taste to what she will experience first hand not as the bystander of this side of his but as the target of his toxic behavior.
Later in the car, as he drives, Betty, with a broken heart tells Armando she believes that he should go on his trip and try to reconcile his relationship with Marcela and reconnect while they're away.
Armando, nervous and scared asks her if that's what she really wants and the hurt that it might be, he asks(really demands) for her to look him in the eyes and tell him this. Which Betty doesn't. In this moment his phone rings.
Why do these small details play such a huge role?
Less than 24 hours away, Betty finds the letter which plays the exact rhythm in which Armando and Mario planned her downfall.
For one: While in the past Betty agreed to embellish the balance for the meeting, this night she did not and because of this Armando went out to look for her at the exhibit and then took her to his best friends bach pad and slept with her all so she would embellish that balance which would keep the board members at peace allowing Armando to continue as the president of Eco Moda.
Two: That Mario called him this night, while they were together, and while Armando "played" it off that Mario wasn't aware of their affair, when she later questioned him about it and he denied it, these conversations begin to makes sense to her.
We know that's not the case. While Mario spoke about the company Armando didn't seem that concerned or even motivated to go searching for her but it wasn't until Mario mentioned how sever it was what that he implied to Betty that AA was more important to him than her[Betty] and what that meant for their relationship and how she was suffering because of it that he was motivated to search for her as he said, a terrible fear was settling in him because of it. While yes, Mario suggested that they hook up so she could be happy again and forgive him and that way the company would still be in their hands and not Nicolas, Armando didn't need any motivation for that.
In fact he hasn't needed any inspiration or motivation sober or drunk to desire Betty, often not being able to stop himself from kissing her and more. Was this based on Mario telling him to do this?
No.
It wasn't because Mario suggested it(At the office). Unlike their first night where Armando kept calling Mario and kept asking for help and advice, this time Armando gets annoyed at Mario for calling him. Even his behavior is different. While before when Mario kept insisting that he slept with Betty to get it over with, Armando showed disgust or being repugnant to doing an atrocity of that magnitude towards Betty, this time his face was poker. He showed no real disgust towards the idea of seducing Betty as in he'd sleep with her, more that Mario yet again was using something he knew was important and special to the both of them[B+A] as a weapon for the "good" of the company.
When he hangs up his phone Betty points out that the direction he's driving isn't towards her house, to which Armando tells her if she really wants to go home.
"I think it's for the best." He turns to stare at her and then pulls to the side of the road.
"That you want me to take you home?" He asks in disbelief. Betty swallows hard, the corner of her mouth look a bit downward and she looks scared. "Damnit!" He hits his steering wheel and though he is angry, his tone is completely different to that of his tone when he is angry at Marcela. "Damnit, Beatriz, all I want is to be with you tonight, I leave tomorrow, remember? I went to the museum, exclusively, to pick you up, to see you, to feel you next to me, to be with you. When we bumped into Marcela I risked my life and I am still risking it to this moment. Everything I've done is to tell you that I adore you, that you're above Adriana Arboleda, that you're above Marcela, of-of all of them!" We can determine he is honest here as he stares at her, exclusively even when she doesn't stare back at him, she looks pained and confused herself. "and the only thing you can tell me is that you want me to go to Palm Beach(I LOVE the way he says Palm Beach it's just ugh so nice) and have a marvelous honeymoon with her so that we can grow closer." He looks down, away from her and then ahead of him. His voice was no longer harsh at the end more so becoming almost a whisper. "That's what you want? Okay! Right now I'll drive you to your house because it's what you're asking from me. I don't deserve this." (BAWHAHAHA ARMANI YES YOU DO, MY BOY).
Now in a non-contextual way one could simply asume that he is doing this all under the bias of manipulation towards Betty, especially that final line of "I don't deserve this." but when you take all the context clues and you look at the bigger picture there's more that plays in here and I'm not saying that Armando isn't manipulating Betty in this exact scene, he is very much doing so, however it isn't like in the past. This time he does so to get what he wants, which is to spend the night with Betty so he guilts her with this final part of "I don't deserve this- because I've risked so much to spend this night with you."
However taking aside that guilt trip manipulation, why does Armando stumble once in his words showing he isn't rehashing this previous speech? and why does he take a breather before he tells Betty that he'll drop her off at her house like she asked?
While the first apology was what he rehearsed with himself, this second time around it took him by surprise to admit that she was above all the other women because this apology wasn't based on a "lets just make up right now." it was an apology based in heart and the self-realization of how true that statement was for him that while yes Betty was above Adriana Arboleda in her significance to him and even Marcela who he's engaged to, she is now also above all women.
How true is this statement?
Well we see a change of behavior of his with women in the future episodes which proves, yet again, that this confession of his wasn't just an apology so Betty could forgive him, but an apology that was sincere and heart felt.
Betty finally gives in and tells him to wait. With tears coating her lashes she stares at him "Sir, forgive me." She speaks solemnly. Armando's entire body relaxes just a bit as he sits back on his seat. "Sir, forgive me. I want you to understand that-that this hasn't been easy for me. [The situation] with Adriana Arboleda and now the conflict with Ms. Marcela; it's killing me, Sir." His anger and hurt begins to simmer down. "I don't know what to do, how to behave. I-I think I'm acting very bad." She looks away from him, touches the side of her face in a worried and embarrassed manor while Armando stares at her and timidly(in his nature) asks her what truly worry's him.
"But do you want to be with me?"
"Yes, of course, of course. It's what I want most." She caresses the side of his face, he leans towards her hand "in the world." and now he looks like he's come back to life. Staring at her with a soft glow and when she pulls her hand down he looks at it and follows it until he stares back at her, feeling the absences of her touch and missing it. "But you leave tomorrow." They both look away from each other but Armando only does so for a micro second before he stares back at her. "and I won't be complete without you, Sir." Again we get a frame of Armando's reaction to this. "Not being by your side will not be any easier for me." As she speaks her tone is soft, timid however not wavering showing that while she is nervous to confess this to him, she isn't scared of doing so.
"Betty." He says so adoringly towards her. "Betty" he whispers and touches her face and honestly I believe his favorite part of Betty's face is the side of her face, by her earlobe cause he's always touching her there. "Nobody said this would be easy. We knew this road was going to be a difficult one but you know what? I am going to be missing you so much. I'm going to miss you a lot."
Again the words here are lost in translation he tells her "Usted me va a hacer muchísima falta." which roughly is saying that there will be a huge lack of her in him, causing him to yarn for her a lot and feeling that absences of hers will make him miss her in a very profound way because he needs her. This separation they're both fearful of is what brings the forgiveness to shore.
Now the post for that specific scene will need an entire post dedicated to it because there's so much! Just so much.
For this episode I had to watch it on the NBC app so maybe there was some scenes missing.
I don't know if anyone noticed how important the story of Picasso and his lovers was for this and how they showed the similarities to Armando and his lovers, specifically how toxic Picasso was(all though if we're being honest that dood sounds more abusive than just toxic bc we all got a lil toxicity in our system but that foo was straight up kidnapping his lovers and locking them up while he had other's on the side? Nah man call a hotline.) towards his lovers. Though I am not saying that Armando is a saint, I don't think he is as bad as Picasso, that dood needed a restraining order against him so he could just stay away from all women.
In all seriousness though the similarity was that though Picasso had lovers he cared for each of them especially his last two lovers, i.e Betty and Marcela and it foreshadowed just how jealous and pathetic Armando would become in the future.
I mean I love Armando, I had to learn to love him bc at first I didn't, but the behavior he displays in the future episodes while yeah one could explain them are not justifiable and I will get into detail on that in the future posts and the post I am still writing regarding his abusive/toxic tendencies.
Overall this episode, which on NBC is episode 68, was pretty straightforward with a lot of small details to look at and not really for the leading on of the scenes in Mario's apartment but overall where the story continues to get pushed.
In this episode, the episode when Armando fights Roman and Co. and her birthday night celebration and the previous night of this episode are nights that Betty goes back to prove that what she reads in that letter are true, especially this night, before they got to the apartment and just how much Armando "risked" to spend that night with her.
While she tries to believe that it's all a joke because she's certain that Armando was honest and heartfelt with her through his actions and not words, she doesn't trust him. I'll explain that a lot more further in that post.
Pushing forward the plot of the story though we see just how these two have truthfully grown close together and not just as friends but as lovers who are exploring their feelings a lot more now and while Betty is learning to open herself up again, Armando is learning to love for the first time.
I say that Betty is learning to open herself up again because it's true. While in the past she asked Armando why he was interested in her, she shared poetic talk about how the moon inspired poets and how guilty she felt when she saw Marcela, she hadn't opened herself up, not until the night at the hotel and that wasn't much, she barely opened up when Armando was asking her about her first time. This night she was a lot more open. She called out Armando's behavior point blank and period, no hesitation, she spoke about her opinion and then she spoke about how she felt, not regarding her insecurity but regarding their relationship and the absences she'd feel from Armando not being there. While before she'd just say "I need you." or "You mean a lot to me." this time she goes on to further explain her feelings to Armando instead of just saying the words, this time she elaborates.
Armando is learning to love for the first time, being humble in realizing his mistakes, his limits and also understanding just how his actions affect others but the most important thing is that he is learning to be at peace with his feelings for Betty. We saw it that morning when he first saw Betty, later in the office when Betty caught him making out with the AA picture and just how guilty and embarrassed he felt because Betty saw him. Unlike with Marcela where he was scared that she'd cause a while scene, this time the problem for him was that Betty wouldn't cause a scene but be hurt and dump him for it, which would be a big deal for him. We saw it later when Betty forgave him after the letter and gift and when he realized the huge mistake he made with AA in the way he treated Betty. All of these behaviors has shown an Armando who has accepted that he cares for Betty, not love, but cares for her deeply and that she is important to him.
Thank you for being patient with me and sorry that I haven't been as active. These past days have been pretty busy and they'll continue being so. I'll probably only be able to post once a week but I hope that the post become better quality that way as well since I'll have more time to really break down the episodes.
Well 'til next time! :)
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duxhess-kryzewan · 3 years ago
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Obitine First Kiss?
- Drowning -
When they had first landed on Corellia, Obi-Wan was relieved to be somewhere that had plenty of fresh water. The last planet they had been hiding on was dry and dusty and even Satine - born and raised on a desert planet herself - had became sick of the terrain.
The novelty quickly wore off the longer they trekked through the jungle. The forestry was dense, the humidity unforgiving. Every breath he took came with the unsettling sensation of drowning on dry land.
Qui-Gon had left them the night before last, leaving Obi-Wan with coordinates on where to meet the following day. He had a contact - a long time ally - who resided on miles away from the forest they were hiding in. If all went according to plan, they would have a new and unrecognizable ship and a safe means off the planet. All he was tasked with was keeping Satine safe in the mean time.
He didn't like to read too much into why Qui-Gon was so keen on leaving them alone together.
"The sky looks like it'll be clear tonight." Satine comments as they move into a clearing.
"It' seems so," He says, "Let's just hope it stays that way."
Storms were frequent and often unpredictable. One minute the sun would be shining, only for the clouds to roll in mercilessly pelt the planet with rain.
"From desert to storm," She huffs, "I can't tell which is worse."
He observes her intently as she walks; how her damp hair clung to her neck, how she would periodically run the back of her hand across her brow line. He sympathized with her discomfort. The air felt sticky, the breeze heavy as it blew past them. Satine had long since abandoned her attempts at maintaining her regality. There was no point anymore. She had been with them long enough to know they wouldn't judge her in the slightest for slipping out of her Duchess façade, and the climate made it nearly impossible to look the part.
Not that it mattered much. Obi-Wan didn't think there was anything that could make her any less beautiful.
He tried to push the thought to the back of his mind. An irrevocable attachment to her was the last thing he needed.
"Can we stop for the evening?" She asks.
He marvels at the gentleness in her voice. Before, in the beginning weeks she had been placed under their protection, she had huffed and whined until he relented and gave into her requests. The near death experiences and friendship they managed to forge over the passing weeks had humbled her some, and gave him enough insight to realize she was more than just an entitled Duchess. He was grateful they had found a way to be more civil to one another.
“As you wish."
They were nearing one of the many lakes that covered the planet anyway; a more than ideal place to set up camp for the night. Fresh water was something neither of them took for granted after their stay in the desert.
When they stop Satine wastes no dropping to the ground and leaning back against one of the trees that surrounded them. Foliage was another thing they both had become more appreciative of recently. The cover of trees, the simple ability to rest against something other than the hot sand, even the always lingering dampness of the soil.
He busies himself looking around around for wood dry enough to start a fire. It was by no means necessary for warmth, but it would be there luck that the temperature would drop with the arrival of night time, and it wouldn't hurt to have a source of light. The stars might have been bright on Corellia, but he would be hard pressed to consider it enough illumination for them.
His mind had been so preoccupied on setting up camp that he hadn't even noticed Satine's absence until a splash broke through the silence.
"Satine?"
He turns just in time to see her disappear below the surface of the water, and for a fleeting moment panic floods through him. What if she can't swim? What if something was in the water? And why is she in the water in the first place?
The relief he feels when she reappears is almost insurmountable.
"What are you doing?" He half yells, trying his best not to let the worry in his voice show.
She grants him an amused smirk, and something about the sparkle in her eyes sends a warmth trough his chest, despite how hard he tries not to let it do so.
"Cooling off, Obi-Wan." She says matter-of-factly, "You may not mind being covered in sweat and grime after trekking through the jungle all day, but I refuse to stew in filth."
He has to repress the urge to laugh. Roughing it may have humbled the young Duchess, but there was always going to be a part of her that was prim and proper.
"I'm a bit more preoccupied with your safety than worrying about my personal hygiene."
He glances to the pile of discarded clothes at the waters edge and is grateful for cover twilight provided him. If Satine could see the blush that colored his cheeks at the thought of her undress she would never let him live it down.
Satine scoffs and swims closer to shore, "As if you have to choose one or the other. Honestly, Obi-Wan."
She was right, of course. He hated the stickiness from the humidity and sweat that clung to his skin, but it hadn't been at the top of his priority list.
"Priorities, Duchess."
She laughs lightly and disappears under the water again.
The fire he was attempting to start was a lost cause, he decided. There was too much moisture for a flame to start. As much as he didn't like it, they were going to have to fair out without one for now.
So he settles for laying out his cloak in the driest area he could find and depositing their items on top of it. Qui-Gon didn't leave them with much, but the few items they did have were more than essential to their survival the next few days.
Obi-Wan decides that, so long as she is content in the water, he'll sit along the lakes edge and meditate. It had been too long since he had a chance to do so, and this was he could keep an eye on her.
​He settles at the waters edge, lightsaber and top layer of his clothing discarded beside him. The muggy air proved to be a challenge when taking a deep breath, but the sounds of the water and quiet of the night soothed him.
That was, until an unexpected splash of cold water hit him.
He sprang to his feet, the sudden chill catching him off guard. Below him, he found Satine smiling mischievously, still partially submerged in the water.
"Have you lost your mind?" He manages to sputter out.
She laughs, "Don't act like it didn't feel good. You know as well as I do the temperature is less than favorable."
He glares at her, but there's something to her smile that almost makes him forgive her. Rarely over the course of their time together has he seen anything resembling genuine happiness grace her. For all of the things that drive him crazy about her - and there were many, many things - there were just as many that made him adore her in ways a Jedi certainly should not. Seeing her smile was one of them.
“I was meditating."
"You do that quite enough."
"Its an integral part of connecting with the force."
Satine rolls her eyes, "Yes, so you've reminded me many times."
They had managed to cultivate something close to a friendship during their time on the run. Qui-Gon had insisted that he try and get along with her, both for the sake of their mission and for the sake of the Duchess.
He's sure neither Qui-Gin or himself could have anticipated the less sudden feelings that would blossom between him and the Duchess. Feelings that most definitely went against the code.
It scared him that part of him didn't care.
"Swimming in a random lake on an unfamiliar planet doesn't seem very becoming of a Duchess," He counters with a smirk, "Especially one so preoccupied with appearances."
"Neither is being on the run with a Jedi, but I've had to learn to adapt with what's given to me."
Her smiles falters for a moment, and suddenly he's filled with guilt. He could feel her emotional struggle through the force; how much anxiety and guilt she carries for leaving her planet in the midst of a civil war.
"I'm sorry," He says, "I didn't mean to imply anything."
The smile returns. It's softer, more understanding, but there all the same. He likes to see it on her.
"Forgiven," She stands, the shallow end of the water only reaching her waist, "Though I would appreciate your assistance."
She reaches out a hand towards him, all while he tries his best to ignore the way her wet underlayer of clothing clings to her. He hopes the cover of nightfall masks his blush.
"As you wish, your grace."
He takes her hand in his, fingers gripping her smaller ones tighter than what was strictly necessary, and just as he goes to pull her up onto dry land she roughly yanks him towards her.
He topples into the water, barely managing to catch his balance before he was submerged completely.
"Satine!"
She backs up quickly into deeper water, swimming away from him with a newfound sense of urgency. It doesn't stop the laughter though, or the wide smile she wore. It was the first time he's seen her that amused, and if he wasn't so distracted by his sudden frustration he would marvel at just how beautiful happiness looks on her.
"Have you gone mad?"
Satine laughs some more, "Oh please, it's just water Obi-Wan. You're doing little more than bathing and cooling off. Master Qui-Gon wouldn't be too pleased if I was left alone because you suffered heat stroke."
It was pointless to argue that the temperature wasn't near hot enough for heat stroke to actually overtake him and, though he would never admit it, the cold water did make him feel a great deal better.
"I'm not much use as a protector while unarmed and in the water." He decides to counter with, though he knows its a weak point. If the situation suddenly became dangerous he would just as well protect her here as he would on dry land.
Satine doesn't answer him and instead disappears once again below the surface of the water. The sky was clear, but not even the planets stars could provide him enough light to see where she had vanished too.
He had grown accustomed to the many facets of her over their time together. There were versions of her he learned how to handle; from a stubborn Satine to a solemn one. A mischievous Satine however was uncharted territory, and he didn't know whether to fear her or be amused by her.
There's only inches separated them when she ascends out from under the water, and he quickly settles on terrified.
He's utterly terrified, because never has another person looked so beautiful to him as she did in that moment. Lips parted slightly, wide eyes staring back into his.
"Satine..." It's a warning, but he knows deep down his heart isn't really in it.
"Obi-Wan."
She's kissing him then. Gently; a ghost of a touch that he almost isn't convinced is real. Her lips are cold from the water, breath warm against his skin.
Before he can think better of it, his hand finds hers under the water, his other sliding up the slope of her neck and coming to cup her cheek.
"We shouldn't be doing this." He whispers against her.
Satine pauses for a brief moment, "No we shouldn't."
He wonders what it says about them that neither make a move to stop.
It crosses his mind what Qui-Gon would say if he found them like this; pressed together in shoulder deep water, disregarding the promises both of them made to their people and to themselves.
Her hand slide up the back of his head and tangles into his hair, her fingers grasping his Padawan braid tightly between them.
"We should stop." Satine says before kissing him hard with a newfound sense of urgency.
"We should." He agrees, kissing her back with just as much force.
Her legs suddenly wrap around his waist and it renders him breathless. The code was cracking around him with every passing second, and yet, he couldn't bring himself to stop kissing her.
It dawns on him then; that he has fallen irrevocably in love with Satine Kryze.
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immaturityofthomasastruc · 4 years ago
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Master Fu: Master of Failure (200 Follower Special)
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Mentors are some of the most important characters in all of pop culture, as they help the protagonist advance in his journey while helping them improve in skill and personal growth. Because of their vital role, mentors tend to be among some of the most memorable characters in their respective franchises.
Mentors can be a variety of people, from wise sages, to former soldiers, to just regular people with a strong moral compass. What matters is the impact they have on the hero, and the role they play in the story.
Master Fu does a poor job at accomplishing both of those qualifications.
Like, well, basically every bad thing in Miraculous Ladybug, the ideas behind Master Fu were interesting in concept. The problem was the execution, or rather, what little we got with Master Fu. Yet he still manages to be memorable (no pun intended) for all the wrong ways. But before we get into Master Fu, let's get into a problem with Miraculous Ladybug in general that plagues several characters and plotlines.
Order of the... What Exactly?
Despite being “the last known member of the Order of the Guardians”, Master Fu hasn't really explained much about the Order he's from. All we really know is that he was trained to guard the Miraculous and distribute them to worthy people. And the Order does this... why exactly?
This is a huge problem with Miraculous Ladybug, the underdeveloped lore behind a major part of the story. Despite being connected to the Miraculous, you know, the magical artifacts the show is named after, we still don't really know much about why they were formed in the first place, and what their connection to the Miraculous is.
Oh wait, the origin of the Miraculous actually is explained... in an issue of the tie-in comic.
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Someone seriously thought it was a good idea to explain that Kwamis are connected to abstract concepts like creation and destruction, and how the Miraculous were created, both very important things to learn, AND THEY DID IT IN A GODDAMN TIE-IN COMIC THAT ONLY LASTED THREE ISSUES! 
I shouldn't be expected to read supplementary material to understand the backstory of a show. You don't need to watch Star Wars: The Clone Wars to understand the tragedy of Order 66, so why would you expect your audience to read a comic book to understand the origin of the magical objects that give your main characters superpowers?
Even the explanation we got isn't that detailed. Okay, fine some guy created the Miraculous to give the Kwamis tangibility (which actually explains how they can phase through solid objects), but... how and why? How was this sage able to see Tikki, how was he able to create the Miraculous, and why did he do it?
This extends to the Order of the Guardians as well. How and why were they formed? What exactly do they even do besides guard Miraculous? Why do they even guard the Miraculous in the first place? We even learn more about their methods, and trust me, I'll get to that later.
In Xiaolin Showdown, the pilot episode of all things explains why Shen Gong Wu are so important, and why the Xiaolin Dragons dedicate their lives to protecting them, because they maintain the balance between good and evil, and if they fall into the hands of evil, the world could fall into 10,000 years of darkness. Yeah, the first episode actually does a good job at explaining the backstory of the show, who would have thought? And it's from a show that has a better representation of Chinese culture when this is what the main character looks like.
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Overall, the Order of the Guardians is an underdeveloped concept that does very little to help out Master Fu as a character. If the backstory of a character is so vague, how can we even understand the character's motivations in the first place? And by God, are Master Fu's motivations confusing.
Master of Not Doing Anything
Before I started working on this, I saw a video review of Miraculous Ladybug by someone who had never seen the show before, and only did so because one of his friends said they would start watching One Punch Man if he did. Even though he only mentioned Master Fu a few times, he described him as “a dude with a jewelry box full of superhero bling”, and felt like that was all those unfamiliar with the show needed to know. As someone who is familiar with the show? Yeah, that's basically all Master Fu is.
Despite being classified as a mentor, Master Fu doesn't really do a lot of mentoring. Sure, he occasionally talks to Marinette, but whenever things get rough, all he really does is hand out a Miraculous for Marinette to give to someone else temporarily.
And I've said it multiple times, but the Rent-A-Miraculous system is a horrible idea. Not only does it require Ladybug to basically leave Cat Noir to fend for himself while she rushes over to Master Fu, she has to think of an ideal candidate for the Miraculous she takes, find said candidate, rush back to where the Akuma is, hope Cat Noir wasn't incapacitated by the Akuma, and then haul ass to Master Fu's place to return the Miraculous as soon as the fight's over.
The idea of introducing new heroes is interesting, but because we see them so rarely, they don't really feel that important. I get that the title is “Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir”, but I just wish the show would do more with the temporary heroes, like see how it affects their lives. Unfortunately, I can't, thanks to “Miracle Queen”, as usual. I'll get to that episode again later on.
Even when Master Fu takes out the Miraculous, he doesn't really help Marinette think of which one to choose. He just says something like “Take a Miraculous, but be sure to return it to me when you're done.” It doesn't matter, because Marinette apparently knows how all fifteen Miraculous in the box work. Hey, wouldn't it have been nice to see Master Fu actually teach Marinette how every Miraculous works? Maybe have him suggest which Miraculous to take based on the Akuma's powers? I'm just saying, maybe you can take time away from Ladybug and Cat Noir fighting a giant baby to actually give more focus on other characters.
Before that, he was just planning to do nothing and hope Ladybug and Cat Noir could reclaim Hawkmoth's Miraculous for him. According to Tikki in “The Collector”, Marinette isn't even supposed to see the Guardian, and only met Master Fu because she found the Grimoire. So despite being “Guardians of the Miraculous”, he doesn't even help out the random people he decided to give Miraculous to? It's a miracle Ladybug and Cat Noir survived an entire season without any real guidance from Master Fu.
The third season tries to do something by having Master Fu train Marinette to become a guardian, but all of the training is entirely offscreen, and by “Feast”, he just says that her training is complete, and then makes her a guardian against her will in “Miracle Queen”.
Then there are moments unrelated to the Miraculous where he fails to actually be a mentor. Everyone knows about how stupid it was that the writers wanted the audience to sympathize with Adrien for threatening to quit being Cat Noir while Paris is flooded, but this also could have been a moment where Master Fu helped him talk about his feelings, or maybe dispense some wisdom about how hard it is to understand if someone actually trusts him or not. You know, act as a mentor to Adrien?
But instead, they brush over this potentially interesting character moment, because that would actually imply that Adrien has flaws. Because we all know Astruc loves to show the audience that Adrien Agreste is basically the second coming of Jesus Christ, right? And even though the episode making a big deal about Adrien not knowing Master Fu, they really don't have any meaningful conversations outside of that episode, except maybe “Party Crasher”. Though the episode does have Master Fu taking action when Ladybug is incapacitated by the Akuma by giving a Miraculous... to someone he barely knows swimming in Adrien's bathtub. Even he regrets his choice a few minutes later.
And then there's the fact that despite it being his job to guard the Miraculous, he does literally nothing to figure out where the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous are. Sure, he briefly talked with Marinette about Gabriel possibly being Hawkmoth in “The Collector”, but she did most of the investigating in that episode.
Hell, “Sandboy” establishes there's a way to contact Nooroo, the Kwami of the Butterfly Miraculous, on his birthday, but Master Fu turned it down, so they did it behind his back! For the love of God, this is a chance to figure out who Hawkmoth is and bring the conflict with him to an end, and you're passing it up?! In “Heart Hunter”, Master Fu says that Hawkmoth “talks a lot, but hasn't achieved much so far”, but you could easily apply that to Master Fu himself.
Outside of giving Miraculous to Marinette to borrow, what has Master Fu actually accomplished in the story? Maybe his backstory will shed more light on him as a character, and won't just make him look even worse.
The Bungled Backstory
One of the most frustrating things about Master Fu's backstory is that it actually has some pretty good buildup.
In “The Collector” we learn that Master Fu made a mistake that led to the destruction of the temple the Guardians operated out of, and the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous were lost in the process. This does a good job at setting up the mystery of what Master Fu did to destroy the temple in the first place. It continues in “Sandboy”, where Master Fu's worst nightmare is him heing haunted by the ghosts of the guardians he accidentally killed, and then we see in “Backwarder” that Master Fu had confidants to help him keep the Miraculous safe from what are assumed to be the Nazis. Because I guess guardians get to share their secrets, but not Ladybug and Cat Noir?
And then we learned the full backstory in “Feast”. Much like how “Oblivio” and “Cat Blanc” killed any chances of me ever showing any sympathy to Alya and Gabriel respectively, I lost all respect for Master Fu after watching this episode.
We learn that Fu was chosen to be a guardian at a very young age, and had no other choice but to start his training. One day, he was assigned to watch over A Miracle Box as a test for twenty-four hours without any food, water, or sleep. He decided to use the Peacock Miraculous to create a Sentimonster to get him some food, but his anger corrupted the Sentimonster that made it go on a rampage to eat the Miraculous in the temple... and somehow set the temple on fire judging from this shot.
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In my main blog, I had originally made a post calling out Master Fu for what he did, but since then, I've mostly softened up. This is just a fan theory you are free do disagree with, but I like to think that Fu was supposed to use a Miraculous during the test. Maybe he was supposed to use the Mouse Miraculous to get some food while one of the clones sat and watched the box, or use the Horse Miraculous to sneak to the kitchen.
My problem comes from how his backstory affects his actions, and makes him look like a complete hypocrite.
Even though he hated the fact that he was basically drafted to become a guardian when he was only a child, he saw no problem handing out Miraculous to children who weren't that much older than he was when he burned down the temple. I don't even think he should even qualify as a master. His title shouldn't be “Master Fu”, but something more along the lines of “Acting Master Fu” on account of the other guardians burning to death.
Say what you will about Zordon for recruiting teenagers with attitude to become the Power Rangers, but what makes him more likable than Master Fu was that he actually cared about them. He routinely gave them advice, never really lost his patience with them, and understood they had lives outside of their jobs as Rangers. Hell, he was even willing to let them retire to peruse major opportunities in their lives, like Jason, Zack, Trini, and Kimberly, because he knows what it's like to be trapped in a situation that prevents him from living a normal life.
In fact, if Fu really hated being forced to become a guardian, why did he have no problem doing the same thing to Marinette? If anything, Fu should hate the Order of the Guardians, but it's never really explained what really motivated him to continue their practices.
Usually, a backstory related to a supporting character is meant to be followed up by the main characters doing something so history doesn't repeat itself. Anakin Skywalker was driven to the Dark Side because he was afraid of losing someone close to him, with the Jedi Order giving him no support due to their rules against personal attachments. This ideology is subverted in the original trilogy when it's Luke Skywalker's compassion for his father that motivated Anakin to rebel against the Emperor and fulfill his destiny as the chosen one.
But instead of learning from past events, or maybe realizing the Order of the Guardians was never as noble as we were led to assume it was, Master Fu just upholds their tradition of enlisting child soldiers to protect these world-ending artifacts while barely doing anything to help them out. And nobody ever acknowledges there might be anything wrong with the Order.
The Cowardly (and Hypocritical) Turtle
Despite being established to be 186 years old (which still hasn't been explained), and the destruction of the temple happening when he was a child, Master Fu hasn't really done anything with his position.
Despite having all the time in the world, as well as a Miraculous that lets him teleport anywhere, he still hasn't found the missing two Miraculous that Gabriel managed to find at least 129 years after he lost them, give or take.
There's also the fact that, at least, according to the flashback in “Backwarder”, Master Fu may or may not have chosen to sit down and let several historical atrocities and conflicts happen because he didn't want to risk losing the Miraculous. You know, minor things like the Taiping Rebellion, the Crimean War, World War I and II, the Rape of Nanking, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Tienanmen Square Massacre and God knows what else. What did Master Fu even do while he ran around the world to keep the Miraculous safe anyway?
These both factor into the biggest problem with Master Fu as a character: He's a coward.
Whenever he's confronted with a tough situation, Master Fu's first instinct is to run away and hide. As soon as the Sentimonster that destroyed the temple returns, he takes back Marinette and Adrien's Miraculous and runs away. As soon as Hawkmoth finds out about his existence, he packs up his stuff and runs away. When he's captured by Hawkmoth and Mayura, he gives up his position as Guardian and forces Marinette to take on the role, so he can run away safely.
And once again, despite hating the Order for forcing him to train to become a Guardian, Master Fu has no problem with forcing Marinette, someone who was only a few years older than he was when he was drafted, to become the next Guardian of the Miraculous, all while conveniently losing his memory in the process, which implies that Marinette will lose her memory when she retires as Guardian. I once made a submission to Terrible Miraculous Ladybug AU's joking that he only made up the whole amnesia thing just to dump the responsibility of being Guardian on Marinette, but with his appearance in the Season 4 teaser, I'm genuinely worried that may be true.
And yet, despite every incompetent thing he's done, the show keeps trying to portray Master Fu as this wise old soul, because like with so many characters, the writers think if they keep saying things that aren't true, the audience will just give up and accept these ideas as fact. “Master Fu is a wise mentor”. “Alya is a good journalist”. “Ladybug and Cat Noir are equal”. “Chloe is irredeemable”. “Gabriel is a sympathetic villain”. “Lila is a good liar”. “Thomas Astruc responds to criticism like an adult”.
And I'm not against the idea of a flawed mentor either. I already talked about how complex Dr. K is as a character, and how her connection to Venjix makes her an interesting mentor. What I want is for the narrative to acknowledge that Master Fu is way out of his league. I want someone, anyone, to actually call him out for how poorly he's handled things. I don't want to be told he's a great mentor when the evidence clearly shows otherwise.
But it seems like we may never get that in the show, even though it looks like he's going to return in Season 4.
Let's just hope Master Su-Han is a better mentor, and actually appears in more than a single episode before being escorted off so Marinette can't have any confidants as Guardian. Who am I kidding? That's basically what's going to happen.
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k-s-morgan · 4 years ago
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I will disagree and say that Will is better at dealing with emotions, will be better at relationship. Hannibal never had real relationships, only take ones while Will still made true connections like Alana, Peter, later Molly ithout ulterior motives. Hannibal trying to deal with emotions resulted in epic failures like stabbing, killing. Will has still successfully maintained a relationship ( Molly) and he is naturally caring and compassionate, less impulsive more stable.
Sorry, I’ll have to disagree with every part of it! I already explored many of these topics, so you can check them if you’re interested. 
Hannnibal’s vs. Will’s way of expressing love
Will’s darkness (which lists his emotionally ugly moments too)
Will has very little compassion, he’s the definition of impulsivity - no one knows what he’s about to decide until the last second, including him, and the relationships you listed are all failures. His only true connection has always been Hannibal because Hannibal is the only person who knows him and understands him. Without it, no authenticity can be expected. 
With Alana, Will has a superficial attraction that he acts on only when he’s losing balance, and it fades into the background and turns into hostility and indifference as time goes on. He admits he kissed her because he was scared he’s losing his mind - that’s the ulterior motive. He begins to lose interest in S2 when his focus on Hannibal gains new intensity. He rejects her in S3 when she tries to talk to him and he betrays her and endangers her life as well as that of her family in TWOTL by conspiring with Francis. He isn’t shown being concerned even at the slightest, she’s just not important to him. That cannot be called a successful relationship.
Will sees his fragile mirror in Peter, how is that selfless? That whole episode is about the parallels between him and Hannibal along with Ingram and Peter. In the loosest ways, Will and Peter are similar: they were both betrayed by a person they trusted, their instability was used against them, and now they both feel angry. WIll relates to him, and so he sympathizes with him. The only time he comes to visit him later is to ask him a question about a case - that’s not a friendly visit. So it’s not even really a relationship.
Will never made genuine connection with Molly. You can read more about it here and here. Molly doesn’t know who he really is and Will leaves her at the first opportunity - that’s once again not a successful relationship. Will has shallow bonds with people where he pretends to be something he isn’t. When it comes to real emotions and connections, like with Hannibal and Abigail, he struggles, deflects, and acts out, because he’s not used to genuinely and deeply caring about someone.
None of these people knew the real Will (all sides of him). In the end, Will easily dismissed them. His relationship with Alana, shallow as it was, collapsed under a year and a half; his relationship with Peter lasted for two episodes; his relationship with Molly survived for less than 3 years at most - that’s assuming he married the first woman he saw, or this number is even lower; his relationship with Jack lasted for about 2 years and was accompanied by Will betraying him repeatedly. As opposed to it, Hannibal, who also had half-fake relationships, managed to maintain his for decades. Will didn’t even have friends before S1.
And sure, both Hannibal’s and Will’s love is a cruel thing - they are killers, after all. So it’s not normal by our standards, but it’s genuine and powerful still. 
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vanityloves · 4 years ago
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oak and stars for slick! :0
ah yes... this was sent last year...apologies for the last reply...happy 2021 mfs ♡ and thank you sm for the ask!
Word count: 1.6k i guess wtf.
cw: idk? homestuck ajsjdj. kinda mushy towards the end but dw im Me ♡ there's a joke somewhere in here
oak - who’s the more emotional one? how do you balance each other out in this aspect?
Defining 'emotional' is a bit difficult since it's often seen as 'whos the crybaby' but techinally, both parties are emotionally driven. The sole factor is one usually works solo (when working with a group, usually takes a supporting role) and takes things personally. The other can put those feelings aside and work with a group even if they're holding a personal grudge against them. 
I'd have to say Ivory is more emotional in the sense of "who cried over (insert characters) death". But of course I'm going to elaborate. 
I've always had issues placing Ivory in one 'category' and describe them as "a bit all over the place". At first, they're very jumpy and put off by Slick's demeanor (fairly so). They aren't rude or cold though, rather they're defensive and almost always on guard when around others. Despite this, they're quick to come to someone's aid to act as a protector, since they easily sympathize with others that show fear, sadness or hurt, even if it's an act. (Rightfully) Protraying themselves as naive. They've always been the type to comfort and protect - having a very 'motherly' presence (Ivory is a whole ass mother so I don't blame them)
Ivory is known to display sporadic bursts of emotions that range from enthusiasm and joy or angst and rage before returning to their calmed state in minutes. They're an odd case of slow to anger but quick to put out. The Knight finds the entire thing tiring but don't try to stop said outburts. Things that upset them before, suddenly changes with the seasons. 
The type to appear cool, calm and collected and tries incredibly hard to maintain that when faced w/ dangerous situations. Inside though, they're probably ready to cry and once the ordeal is over, they probably do just that.
Ivory tries their best to think logically before jumping into any situation but find that things like 'promises' and plans hold them captive. They're easily swayed when things like this are brought up bc credibility and trust are incredibly important to them. Unfortunately, they're the type to beat themselves up over loses like that, even if it was for the greater good/nothing else could be done. They run off of the more positive emotions like hopefulness and joy (the 'happy feeling' after helping others). This isn't to say they're not petty or bitter, its very much the opposite - its too emotionally taxing to focus on themselves though. 
I think Slick is emotional in the sense of he'll experience certain things and if it's something he's not used to, his first reaction is to respond with anger or aggression. He has a pretty bad temper and described to have a nasty attitude and very black and white with his thoughts and decision making. He's the embodiment of 'I won't hesitate, bitch.', if he says something, he will follow through. He's the type to keep promises and wants the upheld on both ends, if the other party does not follow through, he's not the type to feel hurt, rather resorting to anger and cutting off ties - physically and emotionally, he's never been attached.
The man is a mobster so he's used to seeing blood and gore. He's definitely hardened over the years of that rough and tumble lifestyle, so it really isn't personal for him. He's never had it easy and doesn't rely on others (besides the crew) but he's willing to work with others if push comes to shove.
He's not very emotional in the crying and sniffling way. He keeps to himself most of the time and doesn't feel the need to help or seek out others. However, that's countered when he finds himself helping others that are defenseless but become enraged that someone would pick on someone that was 'obviously weaker'. He has a definite soft spot for the gentle, kinder things he runs across but I wouldn't say he gets super emotional about it. Slick runs off of negative emotions such as anger, pettiness, (such as Ivory does with guilt).
They balance each other out with their different outlook/approach on each situation. Some things need to be done immediately and spontaneously, just as some things need to be done with patience or methodically. This isn't to call Slick a dumbass or whatever - the man works best without overthinking the situation and making calls on the spot. Ivory has their fair share of improvised plans but tend to work better with a loose plan (even if it's "don't die"). Their anxiety and lack of confidence ultimately puts them at greater risk.
One thing that's great ab Slick is, he's very sure about himself, his actions, and his feelings so it's reassuring for Ivory. Ivory lends Slick a lot of patience, understanding, but with a firm hand. They don't expect him to take their advice all the time but they expect him to hear them out. There are plenty of close calls that stress Ivory out to no end but on the flipside, Slick doesn't expect Ivory to be so rash and promptly follows them when they do rush into things - he's protective by nature and there's a bit of a curiosity involved.
Overall, their relationship tends to tilt towards the negative aspects of being emotionally driven - pettiness, guilt, spite, etc. But they reassure/calm the other when things get more serious. Slick is incredibly protective and will put himself in danger for them. It's not a matter of not trusting Ivory, rather, it is a sign of loyalty and commitment hebhas towards them.
Ivory is confident in Slick and knows he can fair well on his own or with a team - they still worry but they often rely on hope and luck that things will eventually work in their favor (that's not to say they won't work for their future/goals).  
stars - what kind of a date would your f/o take you on?
Ivory was never one for big, flashy dates even in their previous relationships (much to their dismay, they went on many). Dressing up every so often is fun but loses its novelty if it's constant. Slick doesn't seem too flashy either, preferring to lay low and enjoy the time he has alone - sure he broods but he's having his noir film moment. He doesn't mind spending money, he's got plenty to spare which he usually uses on booze and cigarettes anyways. There's no harm in spoiling Ivory on occasion and probably enjoys taking them someplace nice. He hates dressing up in stuffy, 3 piece suits and avoids them at all costs, but if Ivory's dressed to the nines, he's not gonna be shown up.
I've said it as a joke but truthfully, the couple could start off at a 5 star and end up at the diner down the street. Sharing fries all done up in heels and makeup, cufflinks and polished shoes. 
That being said, they're both more casual! The duo is more than content driving around the city listening to the radio and enjoying the others company, regardless of the silence.*** Truthfully, dinner and a nice drive or walk around the city is ideal. Ivory's more of a window shopping type and enjoys peeking into windows to watch people bustle around. Slick tends to walk a few steps behind to keep them in view, admire from afar type. He's not a very chatty individual and tends to rely on looks and physical touch when talking to Ivory. He's got a permanent scowl on his face but he's truly content when he's with them.
Slick enjoys his privacy but he's not against going out for drinks and enjoying a nice performance here and there. But if it's shit, he won't be sticking around (if he goes alone), with Ivory he can distract himself and leads them somewhere quiet and he snidely comments on the performances while Ivory tries to find the good and bad in it.
Since that's more of a hit or miss type of date, he tends to do things that are sure to be more relaxing. He's a hotblooded guy, while Ivory's more mellow so he figures getting them riled up isn't something that's 'fun' for them; makes him settle his ass down before he breaks a hip He'll pop in a few of his cherished noir films and let them get as close as they like - he's not as picky ab touch when they're alone.
If not that, he has Ivory randomly choose a record to play and sits back with them. If he was generous and feeling sweet, he'll help them to their feet and hold them near and sway together. He's an awkward romantic but a romantic nonetheless, so he's willing to push through it for the sake of having them against him and teasing them if they look a bit flushed (but reading the atmosphere).
***Extra thing:
Slick really said 'I know a place' and drives out of the city that scares shit out of Ivory- purely because this is unknown territory. Of course they trust him but their nerves often get the best of them as they sit up, a bit stiffly as they look at the scenery passing by.
Very smooth conversation:
"this is where I get rid of 'things'"
"really?"
"yeah"
"oh...at least the view is nice. guess that's why you drove this far."
*met w/ silence*
What 'things', you may ask? Take a wild guess! Maybe it's emotional baggage, sometimes is Physical Baggage!
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swanface · 4 years ago
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Who are you two favourite cats in each clan you're in? And why?
ohhh man i answered an ask similar to this a little while ago but slimming it down to just two per clan is hard...most of my answers have remained the same but there are some alterations from last time!
NETTLECLAN
berryclaw
everyone knows how much i adore berryclaw. she’s been an absolute favorite character of mine for years now, and the more time that passes, the more fond of her i am. she’s so hardworking, striving to build the best life she can have, and i always want her to succeed. she has a level head and good judgement but still obviously struggles when it comes to feeling in control / like she’s making the right choices and that makes her particularly relatable, i feel.
rabbitpaw
rabbitpaw’s a new addition since the last round, and she’s been stealing my heart from her earliest days. she’s just so completely sweet that i can’t help but adore her. the generosity and understanding she extends to everyone she knows is so charming and also a brilliant contrast with her much more self centered sisters, and okay, sue me, i’m biased because of just how precious her dynamic with flintheart is. her love for her uncle and her total faith in a cat who really has a hard time believing in himself is just so heartwarming and really does highlight just how big of a heart rabbitpaw has.
CREEKCLAN
currentstar
i will be a currentstar stan until i die. he’s so well written as a breath of fresh air against a backdrop of cats who tend toward the more chaotic side of things. currentstar’s not devoid of his problems, but i adore how unique he is in his viewpoints and behaviors. it’s easy enough to be a rebel, but currentstar is incredibly special because of how devoted and dedicated he is. snow did an amazing job of picking him up after a streak of dropped adopters and has made him so interesting and so sympathetic. he has to be this upstanding figure for everyone else’s sake and does so much to support his clan that everyone kind of just seems to take him for granted...more people need to appreciate my lovely lovely boy. 
applepaw
i was drawn to applepaw almost instantly, and for good reason! she’s such a complex character due to being placed in the role of a “hero” or figurehead for the whole eden cause. the contrast between her and her brothers is incredible because she is, in theory, a much more realized and... secure sort of cat, except just kidding, this girl is full of insecurities. i love the fact that she manages to maintain an air of being more closed off and reserved without showing outright hostility, and i’m always eager to read roleplays that she’s involved in.
JAGGEDCLAN
stonefang
what is there to say about stonefang that i haven’t already? she’s had such a brilliant arc of development, going through trials and all sorts of suffering to become the cat she is, and it’s all been written so stunningly. stonefang is absolutely the hero of the story that you adore, root for, and desperately want to see crawl her way out of the hell she’s been put through. her sharp wit and judgement paired with her selfless acts to protect her loved ones makes her so enjoyable, and i also adore getting to see her slip away from being the more warm and kindhearted sort of cat she usually is when her security / loved ones are threatened. stonefang going crazy on fogclan always brightens my day, you get ‘em, girl. 
eveningstorm
miss sunshine herself, despite her name. eveningstorm’s a cat i had to come around to really adoring after just liking her casually for a while, and i am so glad i saw the light. she’s got a tender heart and a level of sensitivity that makes her capable of helping others without ever giving in herself. she’s not weakened by her kindness but is instead fueled by it, and that makes her stand out against more typical shy and soft personalities that you might see elsewhere. her relationships are compelling and interesting, especially when it comes to her tendency to just...break down the barriers of cats who have spent so long building them up. she’s really just a little fluffy treasure and i adore her wholeheartedly.
FOGCLAN
lilystar
lilystar is easily one of the most complex, morally gray characters in the group. so many of her decisions and her choices have been flawed, but that’s what makes her feel real and drives me to love her. i feel like more often than not people are wary of having their characters make mistakes or take a path less traveled by, but lilystar always seems to go where no one else will. she’s driven, fiery, and certainly not the easiest cat to get to know, but her actions all click into place and make logical sense considering what she’s been through. her storyline is undeniably tragic, and the echoes of palestar’s influence that still run through her life give her such an intriguing thought process. 
bramblefang
who doesn’t have a soft spot for bramblefang? he’s a special brand of gruff but not outwardly hostile that i feel is difficult to keep a balance of, but it just works so well for him. he has super clear motivations and the way he’s now developing ties in fogclan that allow him to let go of past hurt with his sister and the manipulation palestar put him through is so sweet. he definitely hasn’t flipped completely over to being soft, but i like seeing touches of it in him now. he knows when he needs to have a hard head and when it’s better to step back and be understanding, which is such a good development for him considering the way he used to view the world in a more black and white sense. 
TRIBE OF TWISTED TUNNELS
spark feather
sometimes you just have to cheer for a character whose life seems to go wrong at every possible turn. spark feather has never had it easy, and as time goes on, he’s started to play a more active role in screwing himself over, which is a super interesting thing to see develop. he went from basically being a victim of circumstances that built him up to a cat who was capable of making all the foolish, rash mistakes he’s made now. everything about his arc feels natural and he’s still incredibly easy to sympathize with even when he’s doing the opposite of what he should be. he doesn’t get to show it often anymore, but i love his tender side that is displayed to his kits. he’s gone through so much growth already, and i’m eager to see where else he ends up now that his life is sort of starting to get stable again.
butterfly
sort of similar to spark feather, butterfly started a victim of circumstance...and she’s stayed that way all along. her life is absolutely devastating to watch because it never seems to want to treat her right despite her best efforts to be so good, so honest, so true to herself. i’m obsessed with her fixation on truth telling, and it’s such a brilliant trait for her to develop considering that basically no one in her life has ever been entirely honest with her. she’s been forced to navigate so many complex feelings from the moment she was born, and i have so much love in my heart for this poor little darling...it’s insane to think she’s really growing up and getting older now, but seeing her mature and come into herself is comforting after all the struggles she’s been forced through.
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hookedontaronfics · 5 years ago
Text
Honky Dancer series - Chapter 4
Chapter title: Piano keys and heartstrings Read the previous installments here: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 Rating: M Pairing: Taron x OC Warnings: Slight cursing, alcohol use, sexual tension A/N: Plenty of fluffy fluff and feels in this chapter! More mature themes will develop, so be warned! Enjoy! X
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My first inkling of the jealousy my friendship with Taron, and by association Richard, had caused came that very next day. I had just made it to the studios and ran to the bathrooms, my bladder about to burst as the tube had been running extraordinarily behind that day. I shut myself into a stall, wrestled my way out of my leotard and tried to stop the moan of relief as I finally was able to pee just as a group of girls pushed their way in, chattering among themselves. I recognized their voices almost immediately; there were four dancers, all of them from the same kickline team, who had had nothing to do with anyone but themselves. They were cliquey and snotty and incredibly lucky they were talented because they sure wouldn’t be picked based on their personalities.
“I don’t know why that twiggy bitch thinks she’s better than anyone else,” one of the girls said.
“Ugh, I know Riley. She’s got nothing on you but all they do is pay attention to her. Like she’s special or something.”
“She’s not even that pretty,” one of the other girls sniffed. I had to roll my eyes as I realized they were talking about me. The next thing they said was lost to me as I flushed the toilet and had the satisfaction of the girls all falling dead silent when I popped the door open and stepped out. I just gave my most winning smile to their expressions of surprise reflected in the mirror while I washed my hands, and left the bathroom with my head held high. I promised myself to take the high road with those girls although I didn’t understand their jealousy really.
I hadn’t expected or sought out Taron’s friendship at all. If anything it really had fallen into my lap, or rather, I had fallen into it, quite literally. I would have loved to have rubbed it in their faces that I had a date Saturday night with him, but people like that rarely learned and it would only add fuel to their jealous fire. Twiggy bitch, though, that was a new one.
I made my way to the studio and plopped down next to Leah, needing to avoid Markus for the moment if I could. I started warming myself up, and Markus was trying to make eye contact with me. I just couldn’t handle putting on a show for him for the moment, so instead I turned to Leah and told her what the other girls had said about me and she instantly sympathized.
“You shouldn’t listen to a bloody thing those girls say. Bad apples in every bunch, you know,” she shrugged. “Besides, I think it’s nice that Taron is chummy with you. You seem to put him at ease when he’s around you,” she grinned.
“Really?” I said a bit nervously. I hadn’t ever thought of it that way before.
“You make everyone around you feel more comfortable and confident. Look at Pietre, for example,” Leah said, waving her hand over at my tow-headed friend, who was casually chatting with a couple of other guys. “When he came in here he didn’t say a word to anyone and I didn’t even think he was going to be able to make it through auditions. But your encouragement and support really helped him come out of his shell. And I think Taron’s been a bit anxious until he sees you and then he just lights up. That’s a very special quality you have. You’re like the mother hen to all of us, but in the most supportive way possible.”
“That’s … incredibly kind of you,” I said softly, feeling incredibly humbled.
“So it’s any wonder that he gravitated to you. If I only had half the magnetism you possess...,” she laughed.
“I totally owe you a lunch or something now,” I said, overwhelmed by the sweet words.
“What, for saying something that’s true?” she asked, so nonchalantly I’m not sure she realized how much it had hit me in the heart.
We were busy through rehearsals and I could instantly tell that Taron was already feeling more confident, being playful with the routine and not having to concentrate so hard on the steps themselves. My heart especially soared when he effortlessly nailed that move we’d worked so hard on; to be a part of helping him exude that confidence made me feel a bit proud. No one else had to know that, of course. It would stay our little secret.
Once rehearsals were over, Markus immediately came up to me, telling me how much he’d missed seeing me yesterday when we didn’t have rehearsals; a part of me felt instantly bad for the things I had been thinking after our date night. Looking at those puppy dog eyes he was giving me now, I really wondered if I was just being a bitch to him, so I vowed to myself that I would give him a chance when I wasn’t being a drunken idiot.
“Yeah, I missed you too,” I smiled genuinely, appreciating the way his sweaty shirt clung to the muscles of his chest. He was an incredibly sculpted man, I can tell you that.
“We should hang out again soon, maybe Saturday?” he offered, and I had to shake my head.
“I already have plans, sorry,” I said, trying to play up being chagrined even though those plans were with Taron, and I was very much looking forward to it. “But maybe we could catch up on Monday after rehearsals?”
“That sounds lovely,” he said, giving me a toothy smile that lit up his whole face. Okay, it wasn’t Taron’s crinkly-eyed smile, but it was still cute.
“Can I ask you a kind of personal thing?” I said, looking around me just to make sure no one was over-hearing us, but everyone was caught up in their own conversations. He nodded and I had to gather up my courage to ask. “Did you wear a condom when we slept together? Because I don’t really remember that and I feel like I need to know.”
“Well no, I didn’t. You’re on the pill, right?” he replied with a bit of a shrug, and I felt my heart stutter a little bit in my chest. Shit.
“I’m not, Markus. It’s always messed my body up really badly, so I can’t take it,” I said, cringing slightly. How could he just assume that about every girl he slept with? What a massive oversight.
“Ahhhh,” he said, seeming surprised at least but not nearly as worried as I felt he should be. “We’ll talk about this later, when we have some one-on-one time,” he said, looking over my shoulder. I turned around and spotted Taron walking toward us, and he looked from my worried expression to Markus’ startled one, and at once seemed concerned.
“Everything alright?” He asked as he sidled up next to me, placing a hand gently at the small of my back. That wasn’t lost on Markus as he drew himself up to his full height in some weird kind of effort to intimidate Taron.
“We’re doing perfectly well over here, thanks,” Markus replied in a steely manner as they both stared each other down.
“Well, I was just heading out, so… I’ll see you two later,” I replied, not willing to be in the center of whatever this was turning out to be. Markus was threatened by Taron, and Taron was jealous of Markus; neither of them had any need to feel those things, but the tension was making me feel uncomfortable. Taron seemed to read that vibe from me though and backed down slightly, but I still hurriedly grabbed my bag and shuffled out of the room without giving either of them a glance backward. 
I had other things to freak out about, like the fact that Markus could potentially have gotten me pregnant. It was mostly unlikely but not totally impossible, and I still had two weeks to go until my next period. It was going to be a very long, anxious two weeks. Another baby would probably completely derail everything I’d worked so hard to build, especially with a guy I wasn’t 100 percent into. The idea of it felt rather devastating, no matter how much I loved my daughter, and all of this fear made me feel even more confused.
I took the tube home and fell face first onto my couch, completely exhausted. Between maintaining classes, Rocketman rehearsals, being a mom and now this new weird balancing act between Markus and Taron, I could barely handle my emotions or keep myself awake. Still, my phone pinged with a text and I made myself dig my phone out of my purse and focus on the text.
<Is everything really alright? You looked so completely upset when I walked up.> Taron had texted me.
<I’m not really sure to be honest, Taron, but I’ll figure it out. I have to.>
<You will and I’m here to support you fully. If you need anything at all, let me know, okay?> he sent back, making my heart twinge slightly. I didn’t deserve his kindness, that was for sure.
<Thank you, that means a lot.>
<Of course. Are you going to be seeing Markus again?> he asked, and I closed my eyes and sighed slightly at that.
<Yes. I think it’s only fair to give him another chance.>
<You don’t have to explain to me. I just want to make sure you’ll be okay, that you’ll be safe. Maybe I’m a little protective of the people I care about, but I can’t see that as a bad thing.> 
I’m someone he cares about?, I wondered, my brain a bit of a haze as I unintentionally slipped off to sleep, my phone still in my hand. When I woke up later it was fully into night. My neck had a painful crimp in it from sleeping in a funny position, and I just felt more exhausted than before. I was actually grateful for once that Clara was spending the night with her father. I needed to get some food ready, so I dragged myself off the couch and made a quick bite before taking care of Troy and making sure he was settled in before calling it an early night.
I didn’t exactly wake up the next morning feeling refreshed, but I was at least not half-dead. Which was good, because I had two morning classes to teach, including my much-loathed aerobics class, before heading to rehearsals. I was already sweaty and gross when I made it across town with barely any time to spare. I took my spot on the floor for warm-ups, noticing Taron and Richard weren’t there yet, and then disappointed to find out they wouldn’t be in rehearsal that day after all. I felt like I was going through the motions a little bit as we started working on some choreography, my mind focused on other things, and I was just grateful my body knew how to take over.
At some point in the middle of rehearsal a thin woman with a pinched face came in and spoke to the choreographer briefly. He looked at me and called me over, my stomach dropping to my toes instantly. “What’s wrong?” I asked, trying to wipe the sweat off my face.
“A man came here asking for you. He said he was your ex,” the woman with the pinched face said. I felt my heart racing as I worried that something bad had happened to Clara.
“Make it quick,” the choreographer said, but not unkindly, and went to assist someone else. I stepped outside and followed the woman down a couple hallways and into an office, where Zayn and my daughter were sitting. Clara was busy playing a game on Zayn’s phone and seemed overall okay, though she shouldn’t have been out of school yet.
“What’s going on?” I asked quietly.
“I punched a boy because he was teasing my friend and saying not nice things to her and then he pushed me down when I told him to stop,” Clara said before Zayn even had a chance to speak.
“The school suspended her for the rest of the day,” Zayn added. “Mostly so the parents of the boy wouldn’t try and sue. Clara gave him a bloody nose.”
“Oh, Clara-Bean,” I said, shaking my head but finding it hard to be mad at my daughter.
“Well he’s a big bully and everyone knows it and the teachers won’t make him stop. So I did,” Clara said defiantly.
“Yes, well, using your fists probably wasn’t the best way to handle that, sweetheart. I commend you for defending your friend, but there are other ways to handle bullies,” I said carefully, wanting to make it clear violence wasn’t the answer, but not wanting to discourage her spirit either. “Next time you come to me and we’ll figure out a solution together, okay?” I said.
“Yes, mummy,” Clara said with a nod.
“Anyway, I need to get back to work. I was hoping you could take her for a bit,” Zayne cut in. “I just started this new job and I don’t have any sick time I can take. They were being generous in letting me get Clara from school as it is after you weren’t picking up your phone.”
I ran a hand over my face and tried to figure out what to do. I wasn’t sure I could be excused from rehearsal for this, but it would take my mum at least half an hour to get across town. I sighed and called my mum, making sure she could come pick Clara up, and my daughter would just have to sit in the studio and hopefully behave for the next half-hour or so. 
As we were leaving the office, though, of course we just happened to run into Taron, and I suddenly felt a wave of anxiety pass through me. While I knew Taron needed to be told about my daughter and my past if we were to continue our relationship, this was not exactly how I had planned it.
“Hey! Shouldn’t you be in rehearsal?” he grinned cutely at me, brightening at seeing me, as he always did.
“Should be, yeah. Had a bit of a family emergency though,” I said, nodding at my daughter. “Taron, this is Clara,” I said, not even realizing I was holding my breath but he took it completely in stride and if he was surprised, he kept it off his face.
“Nice to meet you, Miss Clara,” he said, offering his hand, which she took and shook rather enthusiastically.
“I’m 7 and mum says I’m too smart for my own good,” she announced, making Taron just chuckle.
“Is that so? Well being smart is never a bad thing,” he said with a wink.
“I guess so,” she said with a shrug. “All the other kids make fun of me though.”
“Well some day you will be the boss and all the other kids will have to work for you, and then it won’t matter,” he replied, and the smile that spread on Clara’s face was the sweetest thing to see.
“Did you hear that mummy? I’m going to be the boss!” she said excitedly, and I laughed with her excitement.
“I do believe it’s true,” I smiled, before introducing Zayn as well. Taron was polite with him and Zayn excused himself quickly after that to get back to work. “My mum’s on her way to pick up Clara, but I just don’t know what to do about her until mum gets here,” I sighed as Taron walked along with us back toward the rehearsal room.
“I could give her a tour of the place, show her all the interesting bits, if that’d help you out. I’m literally doing nothing at the moment,” Taron offered.
“Oh, I can’t ask that of you,” I said, shaking my head.
“You didn’t ask, but I’m offering. It’ll be fun for me too, you know? I’ve got two sisters around Clara’s age,” he smiled, turning to Clara. “Would you like to see the recording room?” he grinned a bit mischievously, and Clara instantly lit up.
“Can I mummy? Please?” she asked. Damn if Taron hadn’t gotten around my objections far too easily. I wasn’t about to disappoint my daughter now.
“You two have fun then,” I said, a bit helplessly as Taron just winked at me.
“Oh, we will. Now get back to dancing,” Taron grinned, and I had to think I was crazy for leaving my daughter just randomly in his care, but what could a half-hour really hurt, right?
I returned to rehearsals and tried to keep my mind focused, but I couldn’t help wondering what Taron and my daughter were up to, hoping she was behaving for him. She was a good kid, but could be precocious when she wanted to be. I was so grateful when rehearsal was finally over. It’d been another hour and my mum had left me a text that she had arrived at the studios but then I got nothing else. I quickly called her as I gathered up my bag, but she didn’t answer. I also texted Taron and got no answer from him either. I wanted to assume that my mum had found Taron and Clara and already left, but I wasn’t absolutely sure, so I hurried along the labyrinth of hallways, looking into rooms and trying to find Taron if nothing else.
I heard the giggles long before I found them, followed by some tinkling of piano keys. I quietly snuck up on the room, peeking around the corner. Seated on the piano bench side-by-side were Taron and Clara, my mum looking on from the side. I pulled my phone out and couldn’t help quietly taking a couple of snaps, especially when Clara looked adoringly up at Taron, and he was smiling sweetly down at her. It stole my heart for a moment until Clara finally noticed me haunting the doorway.
“Mummy!” she squealed excitedly. “Taron is teaching me to play like Elton!” she said. “Can we play it for her?” she asked Taron excitedly, and he grinned and nodded. 
“You remember the notes, right?” he said so gently as Clara placed her fingers eagerly on the keys. They played the first few bars of music from “Your Song” together, Taron playing the chords while Clara did a fairly decent job with the melody. They hadn’t gotten very far into the song, but she was still so excited about it that all of us were left beaming.
“That was so good, Clara-Bean!” I grinned, giving her a hug and mouthing ‘Thank you’ to Taron as I did so. I was also trying hard not to swoon over Taron himself being so sweet with my daughter.
“She’s going to be a real talent, dear,” my mum said proudly. We chatted a little bit longer but I didn’t want to take up much more of Taron’s time, though he promised me he truly enjoyed spending time with Clara.
“See you tomorrow? I’ll pick you up at 6?” Taron said as we were taking our leave.
“I’ll be ready!” I said with a grin.
As my mum and I and Clara left the studios, my mum turned to me and placed a hand on my arm. “You need to hold onto that one if you can, dear. Handsome AND good with kids? He’s perfect for you!”
“Mum!” I said with a laugh. “We’re just friends right now. I don’t know that he’d want a ready-made family like that anyway,” I said, shrugging the idea of it out of my brain immediately. It wouldn’t do me any good to get my hopes up, though I was grateful Taron hadn’t seemed remotely bothered that I already had a daughter.
I made arrangements to take Clara over to my mum’s for an overnight Saturday before my date; I think my mum might have been more excited for it than I was at the moment. I’m sure she just wanted me to find someone to be happy with after seeing me go through so much in the past with Zayn and a handful of other awful experiences with men. I hadn’t really told her about Markus either, and didn’t intend to unless it became an actual thing.
My daughter and I spent a quiet Friday evening pigging out on pizza and ice cream in front of the telly, watching our favorite movies together and even painting our nails “every color of the rainbow” as Clara requested. We both crashed hard when we could no longer keep our eyes open, slept in late, had a lazy breakfast of cereal and orange juice, packed an overnight bag for Clara and then played with Troy until it was time to take her over to my mum’s.
Once Clara was good and settled in with her grandmum, I made a couple of quick errands before getting myself home again with enough time to get ready. I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect and Taron hadn’t given me any hints as to where he was taking me. I decided a cute comfortable dress (navy blue and white lace, and the best part, with pockets!) and a cardigan would be dressed up enough for something more formal but still casual enough to pass if he chose that too. I piled my hair up in a bun, figuring there was no point in straying too far from the person he already knew I was, dashed on some makeup and otherwise tried to not get too nervous as I waited for Taron to arrive. Was it even possible to not be nervous? I thought to myself.
When the doorbell rang, right on time I might add, Troy immediately ran over to it, barking to announce we had a visitor. I quickly pulled the door open and found Taron standing there, looking dashing as ever in a striped shirt, black jacket and a black hat pulled over his hair. I couldn’t help but stare a little bit as I greeted him. “Hi. Hey. Um… Troy, sit!” I said, my face probably turning red as my dog tried to jump excitedly on Taron.
“Hey there buddy!” he said, patting Troy for a second before grinning at me. “You look beautiful as ever,” he said, leaning in and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. He offered his arm and I took it after grabbing my clutch and locking the door behind me, telling Troy to be a good boy; the dog seemed only a little put out to be left behind. Taron opened the car door for me, which was super sweet, before getting in the driver’s seat.
“Hope you’re hungry,” he said with an amused grin on his face as he put the car in gear.
“I’ve saved up my appetite,” I giggled lightly. “So where are you taking me?” I joked.
“That’s a surprise,” he just chuckled, taking my hand gently as he drove. “I like these colors by the way,” he said, lifting my hand to his mouth and placing a sweet kiss on my fingers, making my heart want to skip a few beats.
“Oh! That! Yeah, I let Clara choose the colors and forgot to take the polish off,” I laughed, almost feeling shy in front of him.
“I think it’s amazing how sweet you are with your daughter,” he grinned over at me. “She’s an adorable kid and by the looks of it, has an amazing mum too.” There had been very few times I’d been rendered speechless in my life; that statement was one of them.
“I… Taron,” I said softly, staring down at my lap.
“You needn’t be shy about that around me,” he said gently. “I do feel how kids turn out is often a direct reflection of their parents. You should be proud that you have a bright, happy, spirited child.”
“She’s something else,” I laughed. “Let’s just say she was having a really good day yesterday. You haven’t seen the tantrums and fits,” I grinned.
“Oh I’m sure it goes with the territory,” he chuckled. “I really would love to experience all that parenthood offers some day,” he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling the way that I so loved.
When someone talks about having feels, well, I was having all of them at the moment. I was sure he could hear my heart beating right out of my chest. Hearing Taron talk about wanting kids some day was just nearly too much to bear, and I truly did believe he’d make an amazing dad. The conversation naturally moved on to other topics, but the feels definitely lingered.
We arrived at The Ledbury and I had to take a double-take over the restaurant he had chosen. “Taron, this is fancy as shit! I’m way under-dressed!” I said, and he had a laugh over that.
“Nonsense. People eat here in jeans and hipster jackets, you’re just fine. In fact, I imagine you’ll be the loveliest woman in the place, if I have anything to say about that,” he said. I felt my heart ache yet again over what he said and I was not going to survive this night if he kept looking at me the way he was at that moment. “Come on then,” he said after clearing his throat and having to tear his eyes away.
We made our way into the gorgeous building, with black curtains adorning the spacious windows that let plenty of light in. I took in the space, the round tables covered in white cloths and plush upholstered chairs. Taron gave his name for our reservation and we were seated and immediately offered wine, to which we both agreed.
I looked over the menu, trying not to gasp out loud at the price of the four-course dinner, but Taron seemed completely nonplussed about it. Right, he was living in a different world than me, where he could pay for a 300-euro meal without blinking but I had to use coupons for basics like noodles and bread, I reminded myself.
I was determined to enjoy every last bite of this meal, though, so I made my selections and just tried to tune into the conversation, enjoying the wine maybe a little more than I should. We laughed a lot though, and I found that I was truly enjoying his company, more than I could have thought possible. He was engaging, kind in every way, funny as hell and charming to bits, and I found myself really opening up to him. I told him about my upbringing, with my mum raising me by herself after my dad left when I was just a tiny tot, and why I was determined that Clara at least know who her father was even if he had disappointed me so much over the years. Taron listened in his patient way and never judged any of my past pain, and for that I was eternally grateful.
I got him talking about Rocketman while we ate, and seeing him so passionate about the project and so endlessly excited about his burgeoning friendship with Elton made me really happy. 
And that food, my god, I probably could have just gone straight to heaven after that meal. I couldn’t even identify half of what I was putting in my mouth, but it was exquisite nonetheless. And of course every meal course was paired with an amazing wine, and of course I had to drink every last drop of that wine, so I was feeling really good - okay, maybe quite buzzed - by the time we ended our meal with the brown sugar tart and buffalo milk meringue. Taron, for his part, had been more careful about imbibing, probably because he would have to drive later.
It’d gotten quite late by the time Taron helped my giggling self back out to the car. The service had been superb, but not exactly fast, and we’d definitely whiled away the hours together. We made the drive back to my house, giggling over stupid shit and singing way too loudly to the radio with the windows down. It was the most alive I had felt in a long time, to be honest, as I let the wind from the open windows whip loose strands of my hair around my face.
Once we arrived back at my house, Taron insisted on walking me to my door, and in a small bit of courage I decided to invite him in. He looked hesitant for a moment, but then caved and followed me in. I showed him about the space, glad it didn’t look like too much of a hot mess, though I had to sweep several of Clara’s toys off the couch so we could sit. Troy demanded some attention but after we doted on him a bit he finally wandered off to his bed and laid down.
“It’s been an amazing evening, so thank you,” I grinned at him, and realized I truly meant it. I couldn’t really believe how fun it had been, really getting to just spend time outside of work and dance together. We had some things in common, certainly, and he didn’t feel so far away from me, sitting on my couch and looking at me like I was the only girl in the world at the moment.
It made my breath catch in my chest slightly as he reached over and brushed the wild strands of hair back sweetly. “I have enjoyed myself thoroughly in your company. I feel that I should thank you also,” he smiled, his eyes tracing the lines of my lips. We stared at each other for that small space of time and then we were leaning into each other, our lips crashing against each other’s in our sweet but hungry kisses. I could still taste the wine on his lips, and I felt my body light on fire as he naturally pulled me into him.
I slid my leg over his lap so I was straddling him, aware of how close I now was, my chest pressed tightly to his as all the wine I’d drank allowed my instincts and hormones to take over my brain. I deepened the kisses, wanting more despite my better judgments, and Taron didn’t hold back either as he pulled my cardigan off, his fingers traveling over my bare arms, and then running over my waist and my stomach, then down to my thighs, where the hem of my dress had ridden up. I’m pretty sure I moaned into his mouth at that point, and I could feel him growing hard between us.
Something wicked must have taken over me, because I ground my hips against him and was rewarded with the most delicious groan as his eyes fluttered slightly. We kissed a few more times but then he pulled away, leaving me panting, and leaned his forehead against mine.
“I can’t do this,” he whispered. 
“What?” I asked, crashing back down to earth with a hard mental thud. “Why not? You clearly want this.”
“But you’re clearly drunk and I can’t take that decision away from you. I’d hate myself forever for that. I need to know it’s you that wants me and not just the wine,” he said, his eyes pleading with me to understand.
I groaned slightly and slid off his lap then, needing to remove myself from the temptation. I knew he had a point, I knew it in the little bit of logical brain I still had left, but that didn’t mean the rejection still didn’t sting. “Of course,” I said, frowning slightly, my lips still tingling and my body still throbbing uncomfortably.
“Please don’t hate me,” he said, his brow wrinkling in concern and sadness.
“God, I don’t hate you Taron,” I rolled my eyes. “No one could hate you. You’re like a bucket of puppies or whatever,” I said, my head beginning to join the throbbing party. I grabbed a pillow and laid my head down on it and sighed.
“You should get some sleep. You might feel better in the morning about things,” he said softly, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch where it was draped and laying it over me gently. I didn’t have the energy to protest this, really, so I closed my eyes and nodded.
“Yes dear,” I yawned, still clearly not in full control of myself and not even realizing that word had slipped out of my mouth. Taron smiled softly and leaned over, kissing me on the forehead.
“I’ll call you in the morning, maybe bring over breakfast, yeah?” he said as I nodded my head, half-asleep already. “This is most certainly to be continued, love” he whispered in my ear, his voice a deep timbre, before leaving me to fall headfirst into my slumber. To be continued? I wondered at that as Taron saw himself out the door. What could he possibly mean?
How will Taron and Juliette’s relationship unfold? And will the drama between Juliette and Markus continue? Keep reading to find out in Chapter 5 HERE!
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biaseveryonenoregrets · 5 years ago
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College!NCT(Yuta)-Not What You Think
A/N: Thanks to the anon who mentioned they even liked this series and gave a little spark to give this a go. It’s been a minute so forgive any mistakes or if it just sucks please act like it never happened lol. This will be a reader insert as well this time:D
Warnings: None
Word Count: 977
Y/N’s P.O.V:
 It always sucks having to make a change of plans because life gets in the way. You had a routine that you liked, after all it’s hard trying to maintain a social life while also being in the nursing program. You never had an issue with grades before, passing had never even been a concern when you entered college, but that all changed when your anatomy professor called you for a meeting and told you that you were going to make a D and have to re-take if your grade didn’t go up. Of course, you did not want to waste one of your credit courses by re-taking the course so you offered to do anything, not in a gross way, just a way to make that D a C at the very least. Luckily, your anatomy teacher was willing to offer you a special test that would replace your lowest test grade, but he had a favor to ask. He helped out with the college team and the team could use a manager and if you could help out twice a week by doing just that he would give you the test a week before classes end to give you plenty of time to study. You hated sports though and the idea of spending two days a week for at three hours at a time helping out the soccer team wasn’t very appealing.
 “See the bright side Y/N!” One of your roommates perked up when you came back to recount the meeting you had with your professor.
 “Bright side?” You asked.
 “Duh, a bunch of cute athletic guys running around. Come on, how bad could that be?” Your other roommate laughed.
 “I don’t have time for that, if I do my best and make a 100 on the test I’ll get a B and then the other classes I take I’ll have to really focus on. I have told you guys how competitive the program gets after a certain level right?”
 “Yes, yes we know. Which is exactly why you should enjoy it before you get to that point.” The first spoke again.
 “Whatever, I have to go tomorrow and introduce myself and get the schedules and find out what else I need to do as the team manager. I should also learn a bit about soccer too I guess.”
 “That might help, I’m off to psych.” The second waved and left.
 You could do this, it was just a month or so anyways, how bad could it be?
Yuta’s P.O.V:
 “Why is it always so hot? Yesterday it was nice and there were come clouds, but as soon as we have practice it heats up and the clouds disappear.” Mark complained.
 “Because you complain about it all the time.” Jaemin came up finishing his own laps, “Yuta, you wouldn’t happen to have old psych three notes would you?”
 “I might, what’s in it for me?” I laughed.
 “Anything, food? I’ll run your laps for you next practice if you bring them?”
 “Deal.” I said shaking Jaemin’s hand.
 “Who’s that?” Mark stood up and squinted across the field.
Jaemin and I both turned to look and see that there indeed was someone new on the field.
 “I shall find out.” I winked and ran over to the new person, they looked around and nodded at and went over to one of our assistant coaches, I think he teaches anatomy or something like that. They were talking and he was handing them a bunch of papers and waving his hands around and seemingly explaining, but it looked like it went in one ear and out the other as they nodded at the instructions.
 “...ah, perfect actually, hey, Nakamoto!.” The coach called and I quickly jogged over once I was actually called on. “This is our new team manager, Y/N. Y/N, this is Nakamoto Yuta, he’s captain this season. If you have any questions ask him as he’ll probably have an answer.” The coach smiled, clapped me on the back, and went back to drilling with the goalie as was his usual job.
 “Welcome to the soccer club I guess. I’m Yuta.” I extended a hand.
 “Y/N.” My hand was very gently shaken as they balanced papers in the other.
 “Let me help you out with those, so what are you doing today?”
 “Oh, uh, I have to go through all of these and organize them and then look over all of the forms you all have submitted and make sure everything was done correctly.”
 “Fun.” I sympathized and indicated my head as a follow me and took half the stack and led them to the locker room. “No one’s changing right now so you should be good to do all that in here instead of in the scorching sun.”
 “Right...do I know you from somewhere?”
 “I am the team captain?” I suggested and looked a little closer before it hit me and I felt like I should be jogging out of the room. “No, I don’t recall you.” I chuckled, a bit nervous now as they squinted and then the face I feared...the realization. 
 “You...you’re the one who knocked all my things everywhere during orientation and then on the first day of classes you-”
 “I should head back to the field, good luck with the paperwork.” I cut them off and hustled in a way the coaches would have applauded. 
Y/N’s P.O.V:
 It really couldn’t get any worse. Maybe you should just repeat the class, it would probably be nicer than having to ever work with soccer captain Nakamoto Yuta. You’ll just suck it up today and discuss it with the professor again tomorrow, no way could you bother even pretending to be nice now to him.
To be continued...
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chierushi · 4 years ago
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REVIEW: Meteor Garden (2018)
I loved Hana Yori Dango my whole life, but I have to admit that this is the best remake yet. Please note that I am only comparing this to the Taiwanese and Japanese versions. I have seen the Korean remake but didn’t fully commit to watching it because I didn’t like the cast. These are my thoughts and see why I said what I said:
I would love to applaud the casting director. So far, they’ve got the best-looking F4, and the best Huaze Lei. I mean, it seems unfair how this guy exists.
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Dong Shancai, the female lead, finally gets into a school where social class doesn’t matter too much. Being on top now means being smart, not ridiculously rich. She wasn’t hated for being middle-class. She earned to be in an elite university just as much as anybody else.
The F4 are not good-looking assholes as opposed to usual. It’s absurd that they are looked upon by everyone because they’re the most rich and famous, hence, powerful of them all. In the 2018 remake, they are well-mannered. People don’t make way for them when they walk, though they maintained the cool-kids aura whenever they do. They don’t have their own spot at the cafeteria. They’re not separated from the student body and can be seen relating with them normally most of the time.
To further drive my point above, F4 frequently compliments Shancai, telling her she looks cute with pure intentions.
They don’t get into fights unnecessarily. The legendary red tag is replaced with a Joker card. In this version, the F4 is also the university’s (and country’s) Bridge team. Again, being on top now means being smart. Everybody wants to be in the team, and to get that chance, you have to receive the Joker. On surface, it’s a privilege, but to compete has its own risks. If you lose the game, you have to undergo punishment, of which you have the freedom to state at the beginning.
In the first episode, DaoMing Si ordered a meal from the Dong’s eatery. He got into a fight with Shancai because of this. It’s worth noting that after he threw food at her face, the camera focused on his regretful face. We don’t usually get to see his good side early on in the series.
In the second episode, the first scene shows DaoMing Si being reprimanded by his friends. Shancai was almost assaulted after she delivered food to him. In this remake, it was established that his immaturity is not excused. His friends never tolerated his bad traits. This fact was further emphasized when DaoMing Si asked them to pull a prank on Shancai by hiding in the women’s bathroom and they declined, telling him “we’re not perverts.” They knew he’s already crushing on her, and offered to help him since he’s helpless on matters of love.
None of the F4 members are left out. The past depictions almost turn the other members as the leader’s lackeys. In this remake, Ximen and Meizuo even have their own arcs that lasted many episodes. They’re often speaking on behalf of the group. If you’d look closely, they’re the actual brains of F4, always providing a clear picture and giving directions whenever needed.
Li Zhen’s original narrative was a rich girl secretly vying for DaoMing Si’s affection and tries to befriend Shancai for this reason. Placing her in middle class made her betrayal less far-fetched. With this major change, she was provided a better redemption as Shancai chose to keep her friendship. I think it was nice that she and Qinghe didn’t stay obsessed with the leads, and ended up together.
Meteor Garden was set in a university while the Japanese and Korean versions occurred in high school. Everybody looks too old to be in a university, much more in high school. It’s painfully bizarre sometimes whenever the cast act like teenagers. This is harder on DaoMing Si since he’s a man-child and has a tough demeanor. Dylan Wang’s portrayal of him is well-executed. One of his best acting for me was when he cried (which something we rarely catch) after Huaze Lei asked him to date Shancai.
There are fewer moments when Ah Si is being a fool, which pokes fun at the impression of him being great. His bragging of how perfect he is was also kept to a minimum, which I think gives an advantage. If he’s going to boast, mostly it’s about his looks, which is not hard to be convinced by. This change made the business proposal that saved their company at the end more believable, for he was taken more seriously.
They tweaked DaoMing Zhuang (Ah Si’s older sister) to supply comic relief, and Dee Hsu hit the ideal balance between sophistication and humour. Her presence puts F4 back to their younger, naive selves. Her arranged marriage isn’t that terrible and she loves her estranged mother despite the complications.
Instead of forcing Shancai to join a beauty pageant, of which she’s unlikely to win considering her plain looks, she utilized her skills and competed in a major cooking contest to be able to pay off her debts (and for DaoMing Feng to recognize her).
The last date in London before DaoMing Si get married off to Xiaoyu was bittersweet and exceptional. It wasn’t hard to sympathize with the characters thanks to the incorporation of American music, not just in this scene but throughout the series.
Of course, not only the English songs, but the entire soundtrack, in which most of it were sung by the male leads, sounds amazing. 
All the leads are new in acting but I think they really did great. I have to specially mention this: letting Huaze Lei be funny but still keeping that low profile attitude made sense that he’s good friends with pretty extroverted people, especially someone like DaoMing Si, who’s closer to him.
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