#and thank you silly for the title idea too even though I didn’t use it in the end 😅

[nowandthane]

Twilight Voyage

Inspired by Thane Krios <3

I listened to @sillyliterature ‘s playlist for her fic, Arashu’s Gift (highly recommend!!) while writing this ❤️

And thank you to @grim-starling for the title!

[sohnric]

KISS STAINS — E. SOHN

pairing: eric sohn x fem! reader

genre: fluff, situationship to lovers ?? poor eric is a little confused, but he is very much in love.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: the reader is titled as "girlfriend", misunderstanding/miscommunication

a/n: this is a late valentine's day fic because it wouldn't appear in the tags on wednesday and i had to wait to get home to fix it >:( !! thank you @/from-izzy and beloved @/csenke (as always) for beta reading o:)

When the front door to your apartment opens up in front of his eyes to reveal you staring at him in surprise, Eric can’t help but feel a little confused at your expression. You’re wearing a mini dress– one of the black ones that hug your figure just in the right places– makeup adorning your face and making your gaze twice as much magnetizing to the boy through the layer of eyeliner tight-lining your eyes. He suddenly feels a little silly for coming up to your apartment in a casual outfit– as far as he was concerned, neither of you made reservations to go out, though.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, making Eric twice as confused. Still, you let him inside your place, stepping aside from the doorway and watching as he trails after you like a lost puppy, a pouty look playing with his features.

“Well… it’s Valentine’s Day,” he says, as if the reason wasn’t already clear enough before. Scratching the back of his head, he offers you the flowers he’s been holding in one hand, watching as you take them with big eyes that only soften when you bring them up to your nose and breathe in the scent of your favourites. “I thought we were staying in today…?” he asks, pointing at your outfit that’s very obviously meant for going out.

“Oh,” you look at him, tone of voice almost a little ironically surprised as you walk towards your kitchen and take out a vase, pouring water in it and placing the bouquet inside. Eric was too busy with practice to get you any reservations outside, and although he was sure he could sneak you in somewhere in a mediocre restaurant, he was thinking you two could just hang out at your place instead. He liked the idea of cuddling with you in bed much better if he’s being honest. “I’m getting ready to go out, though.”

The sentence catches Eric off guard. He watches as you walk back over to your bathroom and plug in your hair straightener, sectioning your hair into thirds so you can work on your hairdo more efficiently. The boy follows you in, staring at your expression through the mirror. “Why…?”

“Well… You never asked me to be your Valentine, Eric,” you shrug as if the reasoning was the most obvious thing in the world.

The boy instinctively furrows his brows at you, the argument making him a little taken aback. Sure, he never asked– but the only reason was that he thought he didn’t have to. “I assumed that was a given,” he hums, watching as you touch the hair straightener to see if it’s hot enough to use on your hair, “besides, you could’ve asked me to be your Valentine too! This is the 21st century, men don’t have to do everything…”

Your expression morphs into frustration– a clear sign that the fact that Eric didn’t ask you to be his Valentine has been bugging you for quite some time now and he hasn’t noticed until now. It makes the boy feel a little bad. Had he known it was important to you, he would’ve asked you, no big deal. The thing is… he really didn’t think he had to ask in the first place.

“Why did you assume it was a given?” you ask, scoffing. 

Eric watches as you run the hair straightener over strands of your hair, yet the usual concentration on your face when you do so leaves your expression and is replaced with a look of irritation. Your eyebrows are furrowed and there’s a wrinkle in between them, rendering the boy speechless. “Because… we are dating…?” he says, eyes staring into yours through the bathroom mirror.

A snicker leaves your throat at his argument. “Correction– we went on a few dates.”

Now, this has Eric Sohn even more speechless than before. He didn’t think there was much difference between dating and going on dates, but now he realises that your mind is perhaps even more complicated than he thought it was before. “So… we aren’t dating?”

The question leaves his mouth before he has a chance to stop it. His mind is swirling around with all the dates you two have been to. It’s been two months since the two of you started dating– well, what he assumed was dating– and never once has he doubted that this is what you two were doing. He took you to the arcade and let you win on a few of the machines. He took you to the amusement park and bought you all the cotton candy your heart desired. You two took photo booth pictures and he keeps the strip in his wallet. He told you he loved you when you went on a late-night walk a few weeks after your first date, and since then, every day at least once. Hell, he even brought you over to his dorms and didn’t dismiss his friends when they started calling you his girlfriend after you left.

Because in his mind, that’s what you were. His girlfriend. Because you two were dating. You did all the things people in relationships do– you hold hands, you kiss, you sleep over at each other’s houses– you are intimate… 

Are you two not dating?

“You’ve never asked me to be your girlfriend either,” you shrug, combing your hair before you move to straighten another piece, making the boy fall into a momentary silence.

Has he not? Well, if he really thinks about it, that’s true. He hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend, because after the shift you two made from being friends to going on dates and being rich in PDA, he thought his intentions were obvious. Somehow, in his lovesick mind, the moment he asked you out on a date was the moment you two started dating– and when you say it like this, it makes perfect, logical sense, doesn’t it? 

Obviously, now that he thinks about it, it doesn’t. “Well, I just assumed… is this not exclusive?” he asks, his heart suddenly dropping into his stomach.

“Well, you never asked for that either,” you shrug.

“So that means you are seeing other people?” Eric clarifies, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Never in his life did he need a response to his question to be negative as much as in this moment.

Your eyes meet his in the mirror, something behind your gaze shifting when you notice his distressed expression. Eric recognizes just how anxious he looks in your bathroom mirror, and before you give him a chance to crumble, he hears you chuckle. “I am not. Are you?”

“Well, up until this moment, I thought we were in a serious, committed relationship, so no, Y/N. I am not seeing other people,” he says, an airy laugh escaping his throat.

Staring at each other’s expression in the mirror, Eric watches as you sigh and put the hair straightener down on the sink, turning your body towards his. His eyes go wide as you stare at him with your warm orbs, fondness and tenderness now mirroring your gaze– a big contrast to the stern look you greeted him with upon opening your front door. 

To Eric, the progression of your relationship was natural. He took it as it came, admiring the shift from being friends to something more, and never once questioned the direction it was heading. He loved you– of course, he always thought of you as his. To Eric, the love you two share for each other has always been habitual. 

He never asked you to be his, because in his mind, he was already yours. It was as obvious as that. No second guessing– he was always sure of what you two had.

“You’ve been telling people that I am your girlfriend?” you ask, voice quiet, tender, yet almost amused– pleased.

“Well, was I wrong?” he hums, locking his eyes with you directly now, laughing.

“We never had the talk.”

“I didn’t think it was necessary,” he says.

Watching you roll your eyes, the misunderstanding now vanishing into thin air– he leans in and presses a kiss to your red lips. When you pull away from him, a soft giggle resonates in the four walls of your bathroom, a finger pointing to his lips. “That looks good on you,” you hum as the boy looks at his reflection in the mirror.

Red lipstick is smeared all over his lips, a messy imprint of your affection. He finds himself smiling at his reflection, a lovesick look warming up his gaze when he looks back at you. “Does it?”

“Yeah,” you hum as you stand on your tippy toes and press another peck to his face– now reaching for his left cheek instead. Eric’s arms come to hold your sides, helping you balance as you press wet kisses all over his face, wherever you can reach. He feels you glaze his other cheekbone, the tip of his nose, his chin, the very middle of his forehead. Two kisses placed on his temples, a hearty giggle escaping your throat when you peck his jaw and the side of his face, only pulling away to admire your masterpiece.

“Just so we are clear,” Eric clears his throat, finally verbalizing the thoughts he’s been keeping to himself– the thoughts he assumed were clear as day and didn’t have to be said out loud or clarified, “will you be my Valentine, then? Or my girlfriend? Both, actually?” he asks, heart leaping out of his chest when you laugh at him and thread your fingers through the hair on his nape.

“Well, I kinda assumed those two go hand in hand, Eric,” you hum to him like a secret, and he can’t help but roll his eyes at your punctuality.

“Is that a yes, then?”

“Let me think about it–” you joke before you burst into a screechy laughter, having Eric’s hands prop below your knees and hoisting you up onto the bathroom sink. 

The boy leaves another kiss on your lips before he pulls away and admires your face from up close. Eric Sohn likes pretty things and your face is so far his most favourite. And when he catches his reflection in the mirror– his face full of lipstick kiss stains and a dumb, lovesick look in his eyes– he’s almost happy for all of the confusion. 

See, as the hopeless romantic he is, although he hates to admit that he hasn’t been dating you for the past two months like he thought he has been, he doesn’t really hate the idea of your anniversary being on Valentine’s day: the holiday of love.

[butternaife]

no time at all!-- PILOT

Welcome Home + reader

warnings: derealisation, could cause paranoia, not proofread lmao

notes: so here's the first little drabble of the story I'd mentioned earlier! I'm not new at all to writing, but please keep in mind this is the first story I've posted to Tumblr, so the formatting could suck really bad. 

I have SO many ideas for what I want to continue this with, please tell me if you want to see more. thanks for reading!!  please please please rb if you're able :3

part 2 is posted!

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The sounds of the coffee shop around you filled the room; the everyday hustle and bustle of footsteps, casual chatter, and the clinking of porcelain cups were a familiar comfort, and god knows you needed it right now.

The face of the website you'd had open for several days now stared at you (through you?), the direct eye contact of the cartoon puppet mascots making you squirm in your seat.

Welcome Home! It said in bright pastel letters and a font you didn't recognize, though it sparked a deep sense of nostalgia in you; the whole concept did. In fact, that was the whole reason you’d found yourself falling down this rabbit hole of researching, trying any kind of letter combinations in the web address, scrolling through every page you could access with all the text highlighted.

You knew the secrets: the hidden messages, the png title responses in the guestbook, the audio mp4… and it thrilled you.

You hadn't grown up watching the infamous puppet show, of course, you doubt anyone has. Hell, part of you agreed with the people saying it didn't ever exist and all of this was just some online creepy pasta goosechase. Even though, it was so fun to play along, right? To be part of the community, or to be part of the joke, it didn't matter at the end of the day.

Whatever circumstances brought you to wherever you were mentally, and here to this cafe physically, this puppet show had you wrapped around its finger; you didn't really know if you loved the mascots, with their fun, bright designs and their bubbly personalities; something akin to what you'd grown up with, like you'd known them your entire life– or if they terrified you. The same traits that had made them so endearing made them so devoid of life, so lonely and cold when you’d think about it too long. Made to be loved by an audience just to be erased from history entirely- all to be excavated now, alongside these grotesque secrets and mysteries… like it was hidden for a reason. (Exciting, right?)

You scrolled absent-mindedly through the Neighborhood page, looking through all the biographies of the characters, picking apart the text in any ways you could, though you can only command-all and highlight for so long before it’s just a desperate attempt made in vain.

you already knew all the secrets

Home is where the heart is and Welcome Home's residents are the heart of the neighborhood. Even if you don't live there, you're still one of its most important denizens! But don't worry, with the help of this colorful array of neighbors, it'll feel just like home in no time at all!

Yeah, yeah, whatever, they love me.

What used to put a pit in your stomach didn't really do all too much now. The immersiveness wears off after a while. It used to fill you with questions: “am i important to them as the viewer? Are they sentient enough to understand? If they are… how do they feel about it? About me?”

Losing yourself in the story was easy initially, but the meandering possibilities became meaningless prompts. It was just a slogan now.

Your cursor hovers over the titular Home, a second delay in hesitation. Even if nothing else sent a chill down your spine, Home would never fail to unnerve you.

You click.

You're greeted by Wally, the PNG of him painting, the one you see plastered over every blog or post regarding Welcome Home. it was silly of you to expect anything else.

You felt yourself ease back into your chair; there aren't any more secrets to discover until the website is next updated.

As you half-heartedly scroll to click on the Good Bye!, a mystery in itself, you saw it.

Wally’s eyes had just followed your mouse, even by just half an inch, you Swear To God you saw them move.

An overwhelming tremor of sudden panic took over your body; you felt your heart fall deep into your stomach. With a loud thunk, you slammed your laptop closed. You felt the stares of concern burn into your back from the other patrons of the coffee shop, but you didn't care. Hoisting yourself up, laptop in tow, you hurry out through the door, only the greeting bell breaking the apprehensive silence youd left behind you.

Its nothing, you were just staring too long,

you'd thought, though partially drowned out by the sound of your footsteps and the deafening beating of your heart.

Of course you got freaked out, you were looking to be scared, so you came up with something to be scared of. That's all it is; made up.

It didn't really happen.

You had to tell yourself this several times as you walked to your car, trying to shake the image out of your head.

It's not real.

[bouncydragon]

Unusual Judgement

So, I finished this somewhat silly "little" fic a while ago but was nervous about posting it anywhere (still am tbh). The title is not set, actually, it's just the most decent one I could think of instead of the placeholder I had previously. Well, anyway, hope you enjoy it.

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy x Alfie

Word count: 2195

Summary: In which Alfie comes to Tommy's mansion but has to face judgement by someone very important to Tommy first before getting to the fun activities. Needless to say he thinks it's ridiculous but still he will humour Tommy.

Warnings: None, I think... It's just silly and soft.

AO3

“This is utterly ridiculous,” Alfie complained as Tommy practically dragged him towards the stables of his country estate.

Alfie had only arrived at Arrow House perhaps ten minutes ago, with a clear plan in mind of what to do with his time here, but apparently Tommy had an entirely different idea of how they should spend their already limited time together. At least for the time being, which was still an unfortunate development. Alright, perhaps Alfie was exaggerating a little bit but still, he could think of lots of things they could be doing instead.

They didn’t get to see each other as much as they wanted, and especially not in Tommy’s own home. It was—usually anyway—clandestine meetings in not too fancy hotels; hotels where they knew nobody would rat on them, or even bat an eye at two men (that very well may be walking a tad too close to each other) going up to the same room to spend the night. There was the rare occasion of them meeting at Alfie’s own house in Camden Town but he had fairly nosy neighbours, and another man staying with him overnight would probably cause rumours to spread like a fucking wildfire. Which in and of itself Alfie didn’t give much of a fuck about but if those rumours would reach the ears of his or Tommy’s enemies, they would be in a whole lot of trouble, as a thing like this was perfect leverage against either of them. And it would be far easier for those fuckers to have them arrested by the coppers for fucking sodomy than to try and take Alfie and Tommy out themselves. They would need proof of course, and Tommy and him were fairly good liars (or bullshitters, whatever), but it would still be a bad situation for them and it was doubtful they’d be able to ever shake the rumours after it, so they didn’t want to take any risks; at least not more than already anyway.

Either way, the invitation to stay at Tommy’s mansion over the weekend had come as quite the surprise for Alfie but also he liked the slight change in their routine and the chance to spend more than a mere few hours or a night with Tommy. He still was a bit worried about it though, about the possibility of Tommy’s family catching them mostly. But his housekeeper Frances was nice and also apparently knew what was going on here actually, judging by the knowing smile she had given Alfie upon his arrival. She hadn’t commented on anything and Tommy seemed to trust her a lot, so Alfie was quite sure she would keep their little secret safe.

And seriously, Alfie was looking forward to this weekend, but the start of it was certainly quite odd. He should be used to Tommy’s sometimes unpredictable behaviour by now, though usually that meant rage and anger and not… this. He’d even go so far to call it eccentric, at least in this very circumstance.

“They’re a good judge of character,” Tommy said, like it made any sense to anyone but himself. He didn’t look back at Alfie as he said that but, thanks to the privacy of his own property, still held Alfie’s hand. Which Alfie did not mind at all, to be honest, he just wished Tommy wouldn’t drag so much.

Alfie rolled his eyes, trying to keep up with Tommy’s rather crisp pace. He was undoubtedly excited, which was an interesting thing to witness. “You already know my fucking character.”

Tommy shrugged and just kept on dragging Alfie towards the horses that were grazing out on the pasture.

“Tommy, treacle,” Alfie tried, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Are you actually telling me that you put more weight on a bloody horse’s opinion of someone than on your own?”

“They’re good judges of character,” Tommy repeated matter-of-factly, not making any more sense this time around.

“Alright,” Alfie sighed. “I’ll humour you. So, hypothetically, if the horse doesn’t approve of me, what will happen? Will you just break this off? Send me on my merry fucking way and return to business as usual?”

“No, of course not,” Tommy answered, finally stopping his infuriating dragging. He looked at Alfie with those bright blue eyes that he knew very well drove Alfie crazy. “You’ll just have to… spend more time with them, charm them.” He grinned. “You know, how you’d do with the parents of someone you love.”

Alfie pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. “You are fucking ridiculous, mate.”

“And yet you love me, Alfie.”

“Do I?” Alfie couldn’t believe this man. Mad, just mad. Which, coming from him, said a fucking lot. “I might have to rethink that.”

Tommy let go of his hand, crossing his arms over his chest. He quirked an eyebrow, tilting his head ever so slightly to the side, and just looked at Alfie. Just looked at him with those bright blue eyes. A piercing look, quite intense. It was the kind of look Tommy used when negotiating with someone, be it a potential business partner or an enemy. Alfie liked that look, and the way others caved under it, which unfortunately included him in this instance.

He sighed. “Alright, I do. But you are still fucking ridiculous, Tommy.”

Tommy just smirked triumphant. Alfie shook his head; and people called him a madman.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Alfie decided. “I have better things to do, like getting those clothes off you and fuck you senseless.”

Tommy chuckled and shook his head. “Patience is a virtue, darling,” he said softly as he took Alfie’s hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze just because he could.

Alfie rolled his eyes and let Tommy lead him onto the pasture. He liked the feel of Tommy’s hand in his, to be completely honest. Mostly because they didn’t get to do that very often.

Ever since this thing between them started (they had only very recently started to call it an actual relationship), Alfie had made the surprising discovery that Tommy liked touching, a lot. He always needed to touch Alfie in some way. It wasn’t possible at all in public, and also not when they were alone but there was the possibility of someone walking in on them, like when they were in either of their offices. Alfie got the impression that it bothered Tommy to not be able to touch him, even in the simplest, smallest way imaginable. They usually opted for being just a little too close to each other but it obviously wasn’t the same. So when they finally got some time alone, Tommy could absolutely not keep his hands off Alfie.

Actually, Alfie would even go so far to say that Tommy could get quite needy, in private anyways. Always needing to touch and be close, somehow having forgotten the concept of personal space; not that Alfie minded, alright. He actually quite liked it because it was such a drastically different side of the usually so cold and ruthless Tommy Shelby—a side that perhaps not even his own family got to see often, if at all. He could be so sweet and soft and was actually very much able to relax. He just hardly got the chance to, Alfie supposed, which made it all the more surprising that he found it so easy to relax when he was alone with Alfie.

He also liked to cuddle, liked it a lot, but would never fucking admit it, not even at gunpoint. You could probably torture him and he’d sooner admit to being queer than to being a cuddler.

“I still think you’re being ridiculous, just so we’re clear,” Alfie pointed out, watching the horses warily.

He wasn’t scared of horses, mind you. He just wasn’t particularly a fan of them, perhaps it was their size or those fucking hooves that could potentially crack a man’s skull. He also just simply could not fathom what Tommy saw in them. He did like to see that certain glow in Tommy’s eyes when he was talking about them though. That look of pure childlike delight. Or the look of unrestrained excitement Tommy had right now due to the prospect of introducing Alfie to his horses. It was sweet, he supposed, and it softened Tommy’s ragged edges, almost making him look a bit younger, less weary of life and its endless troubles.

Tommy just nodded in response to Alfie’s comment and stopped walking. He whistled and while all of the horses lifted their heads (their heads were too big as well, Alfie thought, everything about horses was kind of weird), only one of them walked towards where Tommy and Alfie were standing near the fence. It was, in all fairness and Alfie’s uneducated opinion, a quite beautiful looking horse with a sleek black coat and mane that blew softly in the fresh spring breeze.

It still looked quite a bit intimidating though.

The horse approached Tommy first, nudging him softly and earning a pat on the neck and a soft smile. Tommy petted its head tenderly and whispered something to it, while throwing a sideways glance at Alfie, who really tried not to grow uncomfortable or even anxious in this very unusual situation.

Being judged by a horse was certainly something else and only Thomas fucking Shelby would come up with it. Honestly, why he loved this cunt was beyond Alfie sometimes.

The horse slowly strode towards Alfie, fixing him with its dark eyes. Alfie stayed still, just waiting for whatever was about to happen. The horse came to a halt right in front of him.

“Hello… horse,” Alfie said, unsure of how to act exactly.

The horse circled around Alfie, seemingly taking all of him in with a certain degree of scrutiny. Alfie had no idea horses could even look so scrutinising. He’d bet, if it could, it would raise an eyebrow at him. It made him feel somewhat uneasy. When it finally stopped its assessment, it stood in front of Alfie and sniffed him curiously, eventually huffing right into Alfie’s face and nickering. It nudged him and nipped at his coat’s pockets. Alfie looked towards Tommy with an eyebrow raised in question and cluelessness. Since this had been his idea, Tommy should give him some pointers on how to proceed at least. But the other man simply grinned and looked very pleased.

“He likes you,” he explained. “He is demanding treats.”

“Well, I don’t have any, obviously.”

Tommy took Alfie’s hand and put some treats in it. “Go on. Flat palm.”

Alfie sighed and held his hand out to the horse just like Tommy said. The horse sniffed at it, accepting the peace offering, as Alfie would describe it, and happily munched away.

Tommy looked indeed very pleased and happy next to Alfie, smiling softly at him—oh, there was the reason why he loved him, now he remembered. It was a very good look on him though, so the ridiculousness with the horse had at least been worth it in the end.

“Are we done with this then?” Alfie asked, dropping his hand once the horse had eaten all the treats.

Tommy nodded smiling, wrapping his arms around Alfie's neck. “Still think I’m ridiculous?”

“Yes,” Alfie answered but smiled. “But I also love you, you fucking bastard.”

Tommy chuckled, shaking his head. Alfie grinned at him, then closed the small distance between them, capturing Tommy's soft lips in a tender but almost hungry kiss, which caused a low, pleased hum to escape Tommy.

This was exceptionally nice and special, Alfie thought as Tommy leaned further into the kiss, deepening it. He let his hands wander down Tommy's back, feeling the tiny shudder of anticipation that went through the other man's body at that simple gesture. He settled a hand on the small of Tommy's back, pulling him closer against him. He probably wasn't much different than Tommy, if he genuinely thought about it. Couldn't keep his hands off him, right, always needed to touch and feel the man's body against his.

In his defence, it was a very, very nice feeling.

The thing that made Alfie smile even more though, was that there was no tension in Tommy's body anywhere right now. He was just happy and relaxed, leaning into Alfie's embrace and savouring their kiss, almost getting lost in it even.

It was such a rare thing that they could be so open with their affection for each other, so they cherished any moment when they got to do it. Doing it so out in the open would be impossible under any other circumstance but this being Tommy's private property, they were thankfully sheltered and could for once just be themselves without fear of consequences and judgement.

Eventually it was Tommy who broke the kiss first, giving Alfie a soft, pleased smile. Without a word, he intertwined their fingers and took Alfie back to the house and up to his bedroom. Now this was more what Alfie had in mind when he had come here and so he was looking forward to it immensely.

[tracingpatternswrites]

The Patchwork of Us

My darlings, this story is now finally complete and what started as a crazy NaNo project turned into this. I had no idea this silly little Muggle AU about Wolfstar being forced to co-parent Teddy against their wills would turn into such a massive story, but it's truly been a fun journey.

Thank you to everyone who has been following this story from the start and who have been encouraging me with kudos and comments. You are the best and I appreciate you all so much!

Title: The Patchwork of Us Pairing: Sirius/Remus Rating: E WC: 77.3k Tags: Muggle AU, Slow burn, Enemies to Lovers Warnings: Referenced child abuse, PTSD, panic attacks Summary: Remus had never wanted to be a father, and when Tonks told him she was pregnant he walked away. Sirius didn't have a child of his own, but he considered Teddy to be his son in all but blood and when Tonks fell ill, he never hesitated to open his home to them to help her with the boy. When Tonks passes away, Remus is faced with a choice: step up and be a father or stay out of Teddy’s life.

However, reappearing in Teddy's life is not easy. Sirius has trouble forgiving Remus for walking out on Teddy, and Remus thinks Sirius is a stuck-up, posh, know-it-all who believes he is better than everyone else. Now they’re supposed to co-parent a child while also navigating their own complicated feelings about the situation, and each other.

Read on AO3.

Teaser below the cut:

Remus turned his collar up against the wind as he stepped out of the station and onto Church Road. Arriving at Richmond Station always made him a bit disoriented, there were always too many people bustling around and he had to push his way through the crowd and towards the opposite entrance to where everyone else was going.

There was a vicious wind today, a damp sort of coldness in the air and heavy grey skies as if it could start raining any moment (which it probably could, this was London in October after all). It was early, too early, and Remus shivered as he set off at a brisk pace, clutching a once-hot cup of coffee in his hand. He fiddled around against the wind a little before he managed to light a cigarette, his nerves settling slightly at the first drag.

He walked the now-familiar route towards his destination, a nervous sort of flutter in his chest. He wondered how long those nerves were going to be there for, if he would ever just get used to this. It didn’t feel like he ever would.

Too soon he turned onto the right street, unable not to pull a face at the sight of the giant houses lining the streets as he flicked away his cigarette butt. He felt misplaced in his too-thin jacket and cheap clothes. Not that anything he wore was ever dirty or torn, but in this neighbourhood he was simply wrong .

Everything about him was wrong; the fact that his boots were worn down, his coat second-hand, the scarf around his neck hand-knitted, his hair too long and not in a stylish way but more a haven’t-been-to-the-barber-in-a-while way. His limp was wrong. At least it was a good day and he had chosen to leave his cane at home, despite the walk, just because he hated how awkward people got around him when he used it.

He made his way up the driveway to the correct house, his fingers brushing over the giant door knocker in the shape of a dog, which looked more like a wolf, before he used it to knock.

It took unusually long before the door swung open, and to Remus' surprise he found himself standing face to face with none other than Sirius Black. Usually, the other man kept out of the way in the mornings, but apparently not this time.

Sirius somehow didn’t seem out of place in this posh street, even though Remus thought he should with his long hair and tattoos and his motorbike. He didn’t though, Sirius Black looked as if he was born to live on a street like this, in a house like this, and Remus figured he probably was.

“We’re running a bit late,” he grouched, barely even acknowledging Remus with a look before he turned around to make his way further into the house. “You better come in.”

Remus hovered a little awkwardly in the doorway before he did as he was told, pulling the heavy door closed behind him as he followed Sirius inside.

If Remus felt out of place on the street outside, it was nothing compared to how he felt inside Sirius’ house. It was massive, ridiculously large considering it was only two people living there. Remus knew nothing about art or decorating but he had a feeling most of the stuff on the walls, and the furniture, were expensive.

Sirius led him through the initial hallway, further along into the large kitchen at the back of the house. Even though Remus disliked almost everything else about this house, he did love the kitchen. It was light and airy, modern, and the wall facing the back garden was almost completely made out of glass with doors that easily slid open during the summer.

Remus would love to cook in here one day, all the appliances were state of the art and the surfaces shiny and spacious. It was a far cry from his own tiny kitchen in his tiny flat. Remus had picked up cooking a couple of years ago, and he frequently dreamed about moving to something bigger, somewhere he could really test his wings.

“Here,” Sirius said, shoving a mug into Remus’ hands as soon as he entered the kitchen. “You better sit down and wait.”

Remus did as he was told, ignoring the way the palms of his hands burnt as he breathed across the hot liquid. Milk but no honey, Remus noted as he took a sip from the tea. He could feel Sirius watching him from where he was leaning casually against the kitchen counter, his arms folded across his chest, and it took Remus everything not to squirm underneath his gaze.

The silence was heavy around them, and Remus felt an urge to do something about it. To speak, even though he had no idea what he was supposed to say. He swallowed thickly, distracting himself by drinking the scalding liquid too quickly, and he was grateful as Sirius pushed off the counter with a sigh.

He strode back into the hallway, and Remus could hear him as he leaned against the banister of the staircase leading upstairs.

“Edward, don’t make me come up there! Remus is here, you need to go, or you’ll be late.”

“I’m coming ,” sounded an annoyed voice from upstairs. “I can’t find my bag.”

“It’s already down here,” Sirius replied and Remus thought he heard a little strain in his voice. “I’m counting to ten.”

Sirius returned to the kitchen, his eyes snagging on Remus for a moment but he didn’t say anything, and moments later there was the thundering noise of footsteps on the stairs before Teddy appeared in the doorway. He was dressed in his school uniform, smart white shirt and dark trousers together with his blazer and tie, both dark blue with light blue stripes.

The boy’s hair was the same sandy shade as Remus’ had been at that age, his chin and nose a little pointy, eyes a dark brown. Remus never quite got used to seeing hints of himself as a boy peeking through as he looked at Teddy. He stood quickly to distract himself.

“I’m here ,” Teddy said, a sullen look on his face. “Headmistress McGonagall said she’d give me detention if I was late for assembly one more time this week.”

“You better hurry up then if you’re going to have time for your breakfast,” Sirius replied, unphased, as he handed him his bag. “Remember, I’m picking you up and then we’re going to Harry’s tonight for dinner.”

Teddy accepted the bag with a sulk, “Whatever.”

“Attitude,” Sirius warned, a sharp eyebrow raised as he held onto the bag until the boy flicked his gaze up to Sirius’ face, and Remus could see something passing between them before Teddy’s shoulders slumped.

“Sorry,” he muttered, allowing Sirius to pull him into a hug, and Remus saw his arms sneaking around Sirius’ waist.

“That’s alright,” Sirius promised him, gently nudging him to stand straight, brushing an affectionate hand through his hair. “Love you, sprog.”

“Love you too,” Teddy muttered, and Remus felt something needle in his chest, something he didn’t have the words for as the boy turned around to look at him. “We need to hurry.”

“Right,” Remus said, a little awkwardly as he set down his mostly empty mug. “Let’s go then.”

Teddy disappeared into the hallway without another word and Remus cleared his throat, glancing down at the mug.

“Thanks,” he said, then added, “for the tea.”

“Sure,” Sirius said, following Remus as he went after Teddy. “You probably should hurry; McGonagall isn’t joking when she threatens with detention and Teddy really needs to get some food into him before school.”

Remus bristled at the tone, the same tone Sirius always used when he talked to Remus about Teddy. As if Remus couldn’t figure out that an eight-year-old needed to eat breakfast in the morning. Remus wanted to tell him that, wanted to give a scathing comment about exactly how he felt about Sirius’ superior attitude, but he swallowed what was on the tip of his tongue.

“Right,” he said instead as he adjusted the scarf around his neck. “Better be off then.”

Continue on AO3.

[pondsphuwin]

for the ao3 wrapped: 1, 6, 12, 13, 20, 29, 30 and and and!!!! alright, i'll stop here for now haha. if that's too much, you can also just answer the ones that seem the most interesting to you 💙💙💙

my sea!!! 🥹🥹 you didn't have to send more, but thank you <33

How many words have you written this year?

according to ao3 i published 130,131 words this year but i've written a lot more since i don't post everything i write and i still have WIPs.

2. Favorite title you used

'i can't lost when i'm with you' since it's from a song i associate with gunwoojin. i listened to it on repeat to write the fic and i think it fits them perfectly!

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

at least five but tbh idk if i'm gonna finish even half of them. it all depends on my fickle muse lol

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

i want your fortress next to mine - started posting it in 2022 but i finished it this year. it's 44k words long and it's one of my fav fics i've ever written.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

to be honest, i have no idea. i remember reading over the first chapter of 'a juxtaposition in fate' too many times until i was finally satisfied with it though.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

from you need a big god:

"Without wasting any more time, Seungho picks up a machete, stained with blood, off the floor and stabs the back of the nearest man. He does it again to the second man that’s directly on his way, tearing through them like they’re just obstacles. One after the other, Seungho slices through their flesh, stabs limbs and backs and slits throats. He punches and kicks when necessary, but he doesn’t care for etiquette right now.

He has to keep Euijeong safe. And Gicheul... He has to keep them both safe, his brain supplies. 

Blood splashes on his clothes (the white suit he knows belongs to Gicheul) until there’s no more white left. Everything is red. His clothes, his hands and, without a doubt, his face too. He can smell the blood, its pungent, almost sweet scent. And taste it too - thick and metallic on his lips, invading his mouth. 

Seungho’s left eye hurts from a punch he was too slow to dodge, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is getting to the two people he needs to protect. 

He leaves a trail of bodies behind him as he enters the main office. He can’t see neither Euijeong or Gicheul. All he registers are the men, these strangers, turned into foes by posing a threat to the woman he loves and the man he’s sworn his loyalty to.

Seungho hacks away at the thug's back with the machete over and over until he’s lying on the floor motionless. He doesn’t feel anything as he watches the men bleed out for a moment before moving on to the next. Later he’ll surely ask himself what has become of him. 

The answer precedes the question when he sinks his teeth into another thug’s flesh, ripping off part of his ear: an animal. 

A beast. 

And for what? He doesn’t even know anymore.

His job, sure. The one thing that he’s clung to since he was a teenager, while he watched his junkie of a father ruin his family. He didn’t want to be like him, he wanted to be good. And now look at him.

His body moves like it was made for this: maim, kill, tear through flesh and break bones. He’s a killing machine. He’s transformed into the very thing he’s vowed to fight against. Right in front of Euijeong’s eyes.

The cut on his hand doesn't hurt nearly as much as her look of utter shock. It's like something shatters between them and the shards cut into the deepest parts of him.

When their eyes meet through the glass, that’s when Seungho finally stops. And for a moment, finally, he’s Junmo again. He is the man that proposed to Euijeong inside a police car, who stumbled over his words as he asked her to date him instead of a ‘Seoul guy’. The man who made her laugh with his silly jokes and brought home her favorite dessert every Friday to cheer her up after a long week of work.

But this man, standing behind the glass, is no longer that man. He realizes that now. Even before Gicheul is by Euijeong’s side, in a way better state than Seungho is, holding her as he says something Seungho can’t make out.

That’s his wife. And Gicheul is touching her, looking at her like she is his. He notices the necklace around her neck and the fabric soaked in blood tied around her hand, and he thinks,  maybe she is . Maybe she belongs to him just as Seungho does."

this was easily my fav scene from the show so writing about junmo's thoughts here was really fun and i love how it turned out.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

that i can actually write canon compliant(ish) fics if i put some effort into it haha. still not my absolute fav thing to write but it's not as difficult as i thought it'd be.

[liquidstar]

Not sure if we can send more than one but #3 and #16 for your ocverse?

YESS OFC ITS OK THANK YOU SM <3

BUT. IM PUTTING THIS UNDER A CUT BC I TYPED SO MUCH LOL SORRY ANON <3

3.) any recurring images/elements?

Since I just answered a looong drabble abt the anthea converse I’ll answer this one for the polaris one lol

The obvious one is a lot of space and star themes, even the characters designs generally have some sort of little cosmic accessories. Different characters will have their own little sub-motifs, not just in the way they dress but just things that will come up in their story a lot. Like, Polaris herself is a navigator so really anything related to directions (In a more abstract way too, like, she’s lost in life and such), for Saiph, his whole thing can veer on being pretty upsetting but you can always look out for this one Spesific Fucking Knife that’s going to pop up constantly, for Al it’s anything related to halves and opposites, I mean, just look at his hair. For Bella it’s partly her sweet tooth, though it’s also not really about that at all. And for Mira you can aaaalways look out for birds and wings and really anything that flies, oh I hope that doesn’t have any possible negative side effects!!

Anyway I could go on with all the characters (Felis and “lives,” Juno and cracks/breaking, Ain and, well, eyes, etc.) but I think I’ll leave it at these for rn! 

Overall though… A huge huge huge huge huge overarching theme, and I think really the entire point of the story I want to tell with them is… Connection! We’re made of stardust, we’re all connected, people need people to survive. People need connection, no man is an island (Polaris), needing help isn’t a weakness (Saiph), it’s okay to be a burden (Al), vulnerability is a necessity for connection (Bella), people continue to live because of the kindness of others (Mira)

There’s totally a flipside of this too! And other character’s different struggles with it! But again I’d be here all day just listing them all (Not that I’d mind. This is fully for your sake LOL). There are a bunch of smaller themes I’d love to get into, like a lot of the characters arcs are sort of about different types of ego death, sometimes taken in strangely literal ways. And of course the theme of “flaws” being power is important here because of the way that all the characters interconnect into something stronger. And the idea that it’s not somekind of moral failing to be imperfect. But it’s also possible to grow, especially with the help of others. 

AND LOVE! The idea that all love that has ever been and ever will be has always been there. Because, again, we are made of stardust, we are part of the universe. Every moment that you have spent loving something, you have been the universe giving love back to itself. So don’t deny yourself that. 

16.) imagine the entire story takes place but in the meantime the characters all also have tumblr. what kind of (terrible) tumblr posts would happen?

OK silly time. I actually think this concept is so funny so I wanna save it for in case I ever wanna ACTUALLY make fake tumblr posts for them...

So in the meantime here's just what I think their tumblrs would look like

Polaris has not changed her blog theme, icon, or even blog title at all. And she only browses and doesn’t post. She doesn’t understand why she keeps getting blocked.

Saiph comments on EVERY SINGLE FUCKING POST that he reblogs. All of them. No matter what. He needs everyone to know his thoughts.

Al doesn’t use Tumblr and if you saw him reblog old emo music at 3am no you didn’t that was someone else. That was a different Al. Stop asking questions. 

Bella has the most decked out “pastel goth” Tumblr theme ever. She’s so meticulous about it as if it matters. She reblogs edgy moodboards and Kuromi edits. Her Caard is a maze filled with so many blinkies you’ll go blind. She also posts cake.

Mira runs a bird themed gimmick blog. She, like, roleplays as a bird who’s a menace to society. She rbs Bella’s cakes with stuff like “Oh  fuck yes. A little cake for me. *pecks at it*” She’s having fun.

Felis has one of those catgirlbodypart urls. Love her for it of course.

[strawberrymiya]

Moonlight in the window (GWSN Soso x Reader)

Comfort fic, Soso convinces you to stay over with her for the first time after a movie night. Super fluffy, silly girlfriend antics, and a lot of cuddling (title comes from lyrics to GWSN's 'TOKTOK').

Pairing: GWSN Soso x Female/NB Reader Word count: 1533 Requested!

A/N: I really love this idea to be honest, so I'm a little bit excited to share this one. Hopefully anon likes it too! Thank you for requesting, I truly hope this is something like what you had in mind ^^

Read on Ao3

“Well don’t hog all the popcorn!” You shouted, amused laughter escaping you as snatched the bowl from Chingyi’s hands and took a handful of the snack for yourself.

Chingyi tried to look offended, but the way her lips curled to hold back a smile gave it away, “as if you didn’t have the whole bowl to yourself during the last movie.”

You and Chingyi had been dating for a couple of months. The first two weeks consisted of simple, formal dates, but once you discovered you had a similar taste in movies, you made Saturday night your official movie date night if you had no other plans. You always went to Chingyi’s house; she had the bigger TV and a corner shop close by full of ideal snacks. The bus was your route there and home, should you be too tired to drive or if the two of you felt like drinking.

“I only had like two pieces, I was still finishing my chicken wings.” You defended, taking a mouthful of popcorn.

Reaching over to take the bowl back, Chingyi whined, “give me some!” You simply lifted the bowl up, stretching your arm so Chingyi couldn’t grab it. You and Chingyi burst into laughter, both scrambling in a bid to keep the snacks for yourselves.

You used your free hand to catch Chingyi’s forearm that was reaching for the popcorn, pulling it away from the bowl before stating, “you can have it if you give me a kiss.”

Without hesitation, Chingyi jumped forward and planted her lips on yours, lingering through a smile as you submitted to her and lowered your arm, allowing her to reclaim the snacks. She pulled away with a smirk, looking right at you as she ate a large mouthful of popcorn. You couldn’t help but find her adorable.

Both of you began to focus on the film again, but your mind wandered to how long you had before the last bus home would leave. You glanced at your phone screen, your eyes widening as you noticed how late it was. The last bus would be coming in 10 minutes.

“Oh, I have to go!” You exclaimed in a slight panic, jumping up off the sofa and rushing to grab your things.

Chingyi paused the TV, a look of confusion and worry on her face, “why, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just don’t want to miss the bus.” You answered, checking you had everything in your bag.

“But my favourite part is coming up.” Chingyi pouted in protest.

You slung your bag over your shoulder, speeding back to the sofa to pick up your phone, “I’m sorry, if the takeaway had come earlier we wouldn’t have had to start the first film late.”

A hand grabbed onto yours, “at least stay for this part.” Chingyi’s eyes went puppy dog on you, trying to persuade you to stay.

“I can’t,” you started, trying to resist looking at her face, “if I don’t go now I’ll miss the bus, then I’ll be stuck here all night.”

“Then stay here tonight!” Chingyi suggested in the spur of the moment, tugging on your hand.

You paused, turning your head to finally look at her, “what?”

Her enthusiasm faded, suddenly unsure of what she just asked you, “you could stay here tonight. I know we haven’t done that before, but I think we’re comfortable enough to do so? It’s okay if you’re not, I just don’t want you to leave yet.”

A smile cracked on your face, flattered by her sentiment, “I don’t have stuff I would need though, I don’t have anything to sleep in.”

“You can borrow some of my pyjamas,” Chingyi assured, “I’m sure they’d fit you. I also have some mouthwash since you don’t have a toothbrush.”

This made you smile even more. You really hadn’t reason to decline, “okay!”

Chingyi jumped up with excitement, throwing her arms around you and spinning you round, “that’s great, this is going to be so fun!”

You matched her enthusiasm, your face beaming, “I know!”

“Okay, enough of that,” Chingyi stated, abruptly letting you back down, “let’s watch the end of this.” She pulled you back on to the sofa and pressed the play button, triumphant. Before you turned your focus back to the film, you observed how her face glowed, knowing you would be sleeping over for the first time. You smiled at her, then turned your attention to the TV.

——————————————————————————

Strutting out of the bathroom, you dramatically struck a pose in Chingyi’s bedroom door frame, wearing a matching pair of white pyjamas covered in a pineapple print, “how do I look?”

Chingyi, wearing a tiger onesie herself, glanced up from where she was busy making her bed to look at you, “wow! You look so good, it’s stunning! Who are you wearing?” She matched your dramatisation, pretending to take photos of you with an imaginary camera.

“I am wearing a number from the Wang Chingyi collection,” you responded, trying to change your voice to sound like a posh supermodel, “it’s called… pineapple nights.” You accentuated your words with a hair flip, making Chingyi crack and burst into laughter. You joined her, your body relaxing as you wandered over and caught her in a side hug.

“Do they fit you?” Chingyi inquired.

You smiled, nestling your head in her shoulder, “yes, they fit perfect, and they’re so comfy.”

“You can keep them,” Chingyi suggested, “I bought them a few years ago and just never really wear them. Plus they look so much better on you.”

A confused smile rose on your face, “they’re pyjamas, how can I look good in them?”

Chingyi’s head turned to face you, a pout showing, “you look good in everything, shush.” She gave you a quick peck on the lips before speaking again, “should we get into bed?”

Giving her a nod, you released her from the hug as she took your hand. She let you choose which side you preferred, then got in the other side herself. The two of you crawled under the covers and magnetised towards the middle of the bed, allowing you to wrap your arms around each other in a close and cosy snuggle.

“In case you were concerned, I’m a quiet sleeper.” You informed Chingyi.

“Oh, I know,” Chingyi remarked, a knowing grin on her face, “you fell asleep during The Intervention, remember?”

You paused for a moment in thought, before the memory clicked in your brain, “oh yeah, I remember. I really did almost miss the bus that night.” You and Chingyi both laughed remembering the events; how you fell asleep on Chingyi’s shoulder and she didn’t have the heart to wake you up. Eventually she did, once the film ended, but it ended up being a rush to gather your things and make it to the bus stop.

After your amusement settled, Chingyi began twirling a piece of your hair with her finger, “you know, you’re really pretty without makeup.”

You felt your cheeks blush as you smiled, “really? I was thinking the same about you.”

“Really?” Chingyi replied back, her face in disbelief. You nodded, and Chingyi gave you a quick kiss of thanks on the top of your head.

For a little while, you and Chingyi led in silence, simply enjoying each other’s proximity. You felt yourself growing extremely tired in the comfort of Chingyi’s arms; the way her fingers gently played with your hair and the pressure of her chest rising and falling next to yours was slowly lulling you into a deep relaxed state.

Before you drifted off, Chingyi’s voice broke through the silence, “what do you want for breakfast tomorrow?”

You looked up at her, “why, what do you usually have?”

“Anything really,” Chingyi shrugged, “but I want to make you whatever you want.”

Your face heated up again, “you want to make me breakfast?”

“Of course!” She confirmed, beaming, “we could have eggs, or shao bing, or pancakes?”

“Wouldn’t shao bing take a long time to make?” You asked, concerned about how long a tired Chingyi would have to spend in the kitchen just to make it.

“I don’t mind,” Chingyi assured you with a smile, “I like making it even first thing in the morning. But we can have whatever you want.”

Your eyes trailed down in thought, before answering, “pancakes sounds good.”

Chingyi grinned, pulling you closer in excitement, “pancakes it is!” She gave you another kiss on the cheek, making you laugh. She then leaned away for a second, turning out the lamp on her bedside.

The two of you fell silent again, both of you closing your eyes in content. As you both gradually began to fall asleep, you naturally broke away from each other’s hold for a more comfortable sleeping position, remaining close enough that you were both still fairly centre of the bed. With the lights turned off, you noticed the pale moonlight seeping through the window, perfectly adorning the magical feelings Chingyi gave you. Her bedsheets were so soft and cosy, the fact you were in a foreign bed didn’t affect your sleep, and you rested peacefully the entire night with her by your side.

MASTERLIST

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Mantis found herself paying close attention as Wanda explained how important music had been to her family, not only because she loved talking about music and had interest in what Wanda had to say - although that was the case, too - but also because the Sokovian lullaby was what freed Wanda from the Darkhold’s influence after Mantis helped her weaken it. Mantis wanted to understand how it worked. Maybe the connection between the lullaby and the feeling of safety was stronger than anyone realized, including the twins themselves. Maybe those memories healed her mind just a little bit. Mantis wasn’t sure, but she was on to something. Music had a powerful link to memory, after all.

“Sorry,” she said with a giggle, realizing that maybe it had been silly to inspect Wanda’s forehead for antennae. But Wanda could do the things she could do. That was so important to Mantis; to realize that there was someone else with abilities similar to hers, someone who truly understood that each living being was incredibly complex, someone who had the key to open up the minds of others, with or without their permission. Someone who knew the prejudice that some could have against them simply because of their powers, prejudice that was actually fear. Mantis could understand why it would make someone feel uneasy, but it wasn’t Wanda’s nor Mantis’ fault to have the powers they had.

Mantis didn’t know why she had been momentarily hopeful that Wanda could be related to her species. It lasted only a moment, but… it had been a strange idea to have. The Guardians were her family, but she would love to find others like her. Mantis was a whole individual all by herself. However, that didn’t erase the fact that she was a hybrid; half Celestial, half a species she knew little to nothing about. Despite everything Ego had done, Mantis didn’t hate her Celestial half. Doing so would imply hating all the siblings she couldn’t protect, and hating Quill. She just wanted to know more. Not understanding her full origins made her so restless.

“Do you really think so?” she asked when Wanda complimented her antennae. Although she didn’t place much value on physical appearance, Mantis thought Wanda was beautiful, so being complimented by her felt like a big deal. Something similar happened with Gamora, who had reassured Mantis that she wasn’t ugly despite Drax’s claims. And Gamora was beautiful. Mantis felt all her stomachs drop suddenly and simultaneously. She was not going to think about Gamora for too long. She missed her friend, but she refused to be sad around Wanda on her birthday. She smiled when Wanda said Pietro found her antennae cute and possibly all of her. “Cute is subjective. I find Rocket cute even though he’s violent and brash. Deep down, he is one of the saddest creatures I’ve ever met. All the Guardians are. You are sad, too.” That was an understatement. “I’m glad your brother likes my antennae, however. I like them too, they help me appear taller.”

After expressing that she would like to have a drinking or eating competition with Pietro, Mantis proceeded to feast on chicken. She shook her head as Wanda thanked her. “No! Thank you for showing me what chicken is. It’s good.” Sadness appeared in her eyes when Wanda said she didn’t feel normal. “And what is normal, Wanda? If you walked into the Benatar or the Bowie… the ships, I mean, not the human artists… I don’t think you would find the Guardians or our lifestyle normal. But it’s normal to us. The things my father did… they were not normal, but they were normal to him and to me. Try to take it easy. Focus on finding solace right now. You really need it.” She put her hand on Wanda’s arm to comfort her. Her friend was thinking of Chthon, and… being the Scarlet Witch? Was that a title? Mantis shook her head and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Let’s sing some songs,” she said after they were done; her tone determined. “And we’re gonna dance.”

__________

Wanda grinned and shook her head. “Don’t be sorry, I didn’t mind.” She loved the way Mantis was unafraid to just... be curious about things. Wanda was always so reserved about things, wanting to be more inside her own head than reaching out to others. But Mantis was so free with her questions and her curiosity, that Wanda couldn’t help but envy her a little bit. All the world had done for Wanda is make her want to retreat from it even further, but Mantis seemed to have come out of the worst the world had to offer with a positive attitude. Wanda supposed that that’s what real strength was, and it was definitely something she lacked.

She nodded as she took another glance and Mantis’ very interesting antennae. “I do! Are they very sensitive or delicate? They look like they might be. If I had them, I think I’d be worried all the time that they would get damaged. Do you have to do anything special to protect them?” Wanda asked. If Mantis could be openly curious about her, then she could be about her, right? Maybe it was time Wanda opened up a little more to the friends she knew she could count on, and Mantis certainly was one of those friends. She’d been there for Wanda when no one else - save for Pietro, of course - had been willing to help her.

Never in a hundred lifetimes would Wanda forget the time she spent inside her own mental landscape with Mantis. One didn’t quickly forget a harrowing yet somehow also touching experience like that. For someone to bravely put their own mind at risk to make sure hers didn’t break and to free her from a nasty demonic attachment... that really meant a lot to Wanda. She’d do just about anything for Mantis now, because she owed her so much. 

When Mantis began mentioning how saw those around her were, Wanda nodded knowingly. “I think... the most intelligent and empathetic people end up sad in life, because... how else are you to go through life and experience violence, tragedy, and loss... and not be affected by it? If you aren’t, I feel like you either aren’t paying close enough attention, or you lack empathy. Pietro is sad too, like us, but he can still say you’re cute and mean it,” she said with a smile. But then she giggled at Mantis comment about looking taller. “Us short women have to stick together. It’s why I wear a lot of heels,” she said, showing Mantis her boots. “You have extra height on the top of your head and I add it up from the bottom,” she said with another chuckle.

Wanda was so happy that Mantis enjoyed the chicken. If she was being honest, she didn’t know what Mantis’ people even ate, and so she was hoping she wasn’t going to unintentionally offend or disgust her. But the chicken seemed to go over very well indeed, and Wanda kept smiling at Mantis’ enthusiasm. She tried to take to heart Mantis’ advice about finding solace. Wanda had a lot of intrusive negative thoughts of various sorts that were incredibly insistent right now, but if she could only focus on Mantis and this lighthearted outing of theirs, perhaps she could turn her mood around. At then mention of singing and dancing, Wanda grinned excitedly and nodded. “Yes we are! Let’s go!” she said as they left the restaurant.

[sgt-seabass]

Emotionally manipulative ask today! I've had a bad day, a reallyyy bad day. In general I'm sad and to cheer me up, Bucky bakes me something. But it's terrible af cause he's still learning to cook and his sense of flavor and taste is...questionable since Hydra. I have money and will toss some your way. Thank you!

𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

pairings — soft!dark!chubby!bucky x reader w/c — 1.5k This is a dark fic. 18+ only.

warnings — soft!dark!fic, details of depression, reference to sex, some really bad cooking. a/n: I love this idea. I hope this little mind dump provides you some comfort my love. I had Good Evening by SHINee on repeat, hence the title. Thank you to @buckybarneschokeme for giving this a look over.

Like the rain on the window, you’re sparkling clearly All of our stories make us run out of breath The closer I step to you My whole world changes through you I want to know all of your moments Before that moonlight ↳ Good Evening, SHINee

The icy cold settled over the trees, animals borrowing to hide from the chill, much like Bucky as he rummaged the cupboards in the modest kitchen of his cabin, his iPad open on the counter with an ingredient list.

Life hadn’t been easy on him, far from it. Hydra had ensured that when they stripped his psyche raw and built their Frankenstein, the Winter Soldier.

But in recent years, it had become easier with your presence.

They’d found you during a raid on a remaining Hydra base, a scientist held there against your will. When Steve had introduced you to Bucky during a compound tour, he was immediately smitten. Your hair, eyes, alluring figure, and most of all, your soft broken smile pulled him in like a man possessed.

You were like him, had a piece missing that stopped you from being whole. But like two last pieces to the puzzle, Bucky took you under his wing, and the picture on the puzzle you both completed was one of unbridled happiness.

Sam had told him he didn’t think the attraction was entirely appropriate, given you were far from the mental space you needed to be in to make decisions for yourself, but Bucky needed you, and in time you realised how much you needed him too.

Even though that was because Bucky made sure you were entirely dependent on him, forcing you into situations where you had to ask for his assistance or required his guidance.

But you were happy. Over time, your smiles grew, and Bucky even got to hear your sweet giggles when you sat down to watch silly comedies together, having to explain the pop culture references to him each time his brows furrowed.

You even began to cook for him. The flavours he experienced were like nothing he’d had before. There were a few times where it had been pure sensory overload for him, so you’d learnt to tone it down to more muted tastes and staple dishes. Stews were particularly Bucky’s favourite. They could be flavourful and filling without being too overbearing.

Your cooking was so good Bucky felt like he could never get enough of it, even as he gained weight, his beefy body bulking further, his muscles weighted with a new layer of stout.

It didn’t matter much. Despite the new plumpness, Bucky was still able to have you screaming for his cock as he rutted into you, loving the way his body was able to push yours into the mattress in a way that had you mewling for him.

Bucky was quickly melding you into his perfect housewife, and after the years of torture of Hydra, it was the lesser evil for you.

And when a routine became established, Bucky decided to officially retire from the Avengers and move out to a home in the forest. The isolated cabin gave you both the space to heal together, and for Bucky, it meant he didn’t have anyone convincing you that this relationship wasn’t coming from a healthy place. You were all each other needed.

With a huff, Bucky looked at the scarcely stocked pantry. A grocery shop and trip to town was well overdue.

But you hadn’t been well.

Now that you could finally relax away from the horrors of Hydra, all the memories had been bubbling to the surface, waiting for you to deal with them and process them. It had sent you into the most profound depression Bucky had ever seen, and he felt horrible there wasn’t much he could do but give the soft skin of you back gentle touches as your body shook as you sobbed into the mattress.

You needed to process this, Sam had told him when he had called for advice, and Bucky just needed to do his best to take care of you in the meantime.

It was nearly six in the evening, and you still hadn’t stirred from bed. Bucky had brought you cereal and berries that were left untouched, as well as a chicken sandwich.

So, Bucky decided to try and cook something that may give you some comfort. You always gushed about how much you loved French food, so he settled on the idea of gratin dauphinoise potatoes. He knew he wasn’t much of a cook, but how hard could some layered potatoes be, right?

The Westernised recipe listed cloves, but Bucky stared at the lacklustre spice rack with a frown. Rosemary instead, then. Surely that would taste similar.

After placing the potatoes and rosemary on the bench, he turned his attention to the fridge. There wasn’t any cream, but there was milk. With pursed lips he hummed. It would have to do as a substitute. Bucky’s expression softened at the sight of some cheese, finally something right. It wasn’t gruyère like the recipe listed, but the cheddar cheese would make do.

Once all the ingredients were set out, Bucky put his record player on low and got to work. He’d accepted that it wasn’t going to be perfect, but he just wanted to do something to try and bring a smile back to your face. You’d made food a comfort for him, and he wanted to return the favour.

Bucky did his best to follow the recipe, resulting in an oven dish filled with potatoes, a milky sauce, and cheese.

He put it in the hot oven with a smile, proud of himself.

When you woke from your nap – if you could call it that, seeing as you’d been sleeping all day – the scent of cheesy potatoes filled your senses.

It confused you. Unless you’d been sleepwalking and cooking, it meant Bucky was cooking. But if there was one thing the super soldier was notoriously bad at doing, it was baking.

With a sigh you sat up, head still swirling with the most recent round of memories, a sheen of sweat on your skin as if your anguish was oozing from you.

You ached for Bucky’s comfort. He always praised you when he touched you, and part of you knew it was pavlovian, but you couldn’t help but be a drooling dog when you’d gone some time without him, desperate for his presence.

At the sound of utensils clanging, you swung your feet out of the bed and made your way into the kitchen, the smell getting stronger as you approached.

“Doll, I didn’t expect you up, I was going to bring some dinner to you.”

Bucky’s soft concerned voice was like a warm touch to your mind as you sat at the counter bench, resting your head in your hands, as if it could hold up the weariness in your soul.

“I smelt your cooking.”

“Well, I— I wanted to do something nice. I looked up French comfort food.”

Despite all the darkness emanating around you, there was a lightness as Bucky gave you a grin. Knowing he’d gone to all that effort just for you, it made your heart beat a little faster.

When he pulled the dish out of the oven your brows raised at the sight of it. Instead of creamy potatoes it looked like a watery spud graveyard. But you kept your thoughts to yourself as Bucky served you a small portion, expectant eyes looking at you.

When the mouthful hit your palate, you couldn’t hold back the laugh that rose from your belly. It tasted horrible. An odd milky, weirdly seasoned mess attacked your tastebuds, and you covered your mouth to stifle any further sounds coming from you as you swallowed the starchy grossness.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?”

You felt bad as Bucky looked at you like a wounded animal, clearly dejected, but he couldn’t help but perk up as you smiled at him.

“It’s bad. It’s really bad Bucky.” Your laughs continued and once Bucky had a taste of the mess, he started chuckling too.

The situation was a little mad. Two people so ruined by Hydra, sitting sniggering over potatoes.

But in that moment, it was as if none of the hurt mattered, in a way the shitty potatoes had healed a part of your soul, and further connected you.

Bucky came over and enveloped you in an embrace, weighty arms wrapping around your frame as his scent overtook that of the potatoes and replaced it with a musky smell that made you feel at home.

The worries of the world started to dissipate as you relaxed into the portly body around you.

“If you’re up for it, how about a trip to town, sweetheart. We could get some pizza?”

“Pizza sounds great, Bucky.”

Things weren’t okay, far from it, but with Bucky supporting you it made you feel as if everything might just be alright.

To be updated on when I post please follow @sgt-seabass-library​ and turn on post notifications.

[tipsydipsydo]

➳ Wolfdog Hybrid! AU

➳ name/title-kink for the term 'Alpha'

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 1.2k

Rating: 18+

Genre: Smut/PwP

Warnings: Dirty Language + Dirty Talk; Petnames; Mentions of Oral (fem. receiving); verbal Degradation; Praising; the Term 'Alpha' as a Title for Jungkook; Doggy Style; Dom-Sub-Dynamic (Top! & Dom! Jungkook x Bottom! & Sub! Reader) ; Teasing; Begging; Spanking as a punishment; Mentions of unprotected Sex & Knotting & Creampies/Cumplay

A/N: I had this drabble idea since two or three months and I thought, it would fit the one request I got pretty well. I hope y'all like it! 🤗

Reviews/Feedback is appreciated! 💕

Status: barely edited

[Links]:

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「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

"Jungkook, I have a question."

With these words you broke the comfortable silence between you and your Boyfriend. The addressed one pauses his actions of cutting the fruits into small pieces and puts the knife aside, looking up to you and hums questionly before a curious "Yes?" follows.

Right now, you are standing behind the kitchen island and keep stirring the pancake dough in that big blue bowl with a wisk while you think about the right words to start this conversation.

These kind of stupid and silly thoughts are running through your mind since the last week and won't leave you alone anymore, no matter how hard you try to push them into the last corner of your brain. You need to know the answer or you'll go crazy pretty soon.

"Well... You and I know that you're a shapeshifting hybrid, actually a wolfdog-hybrid to be more clear. Uhm... and to come back to my original question, I wonder since several days if the term 'Alpha' is... doing something to you? Like, if the word 'Alpha' has some kind of effect on you or does the use of this term activates something in your hybrid nature? I am asking because you're a wolfdog-hybrid nevertheless, which means that you might have some inborn wolfish traits or behaviours that distinguish you from other, for example purebred dog-hybrids. In conclusion, do you like to get called 'Alpha' and could I use it as a cute nickname for you? Of course only if you're okay with- Uh? Jungkook, is everything okay?"

Your nervous non-stop rambling and the aggressive stirring of the dough caught all of your attention and made you awfully clueless. You didn't recognized how Jungkook's usual so sweet and soft aura slowly begin to crumble. Now a thick and heavy, in sexual tension and hunger dreched aura surrounds your boyfriend which you still haven't noticed yet.

An inhuman, almost brutish snarl caught you out of your thoughts and lets your body freeze up within seconds. Suddenly, you feel like a tiny fawn caught in the headlights. Your eyes moves instantly to Jungkook, who consumes you with a dark, predatory-like gaze.

He has shifted halfway. His pointy ears and his tail are showing now, covered in brown fur. Jungkook is breathing quickly, it seems like as if he has to fight with his inner wolf to control himself. His eyes aren't soft and brown anymore, his iris shimmers in icy blue hues now. His nostrils are flaring, his hands are cramped into fists and it looks like as if he has a though time to suspress the urge to bare his sharp canines to you.

All the tiny weels in your brain starts turning and the things slowly clicks together. You gulp dryly, the realisation hits you harder than expected. Well, as you can see it now, the Term 'Alpha' activates indeed something in him...

Out of Jungkook's throat flees a raspy chuckle, he can't deny that your taken aback and speechless sight amuses him a little bit. Someone who takes such momentous words into their mouth should be able to deal with the consequences as well.

"Yeah, Baby. I like to get called Alpha. Especially when you do it, as my mate. I want you to scream 'Alpha' for me, I want to hear you beg your Alpha for his cock. Only your Alpha can stuff that greedy, little pussy of yours like it deserves. Do you understand me? I am your Alpha."

~

Your face is buried into the countless pillows you have in your shared bed, trying your best to balance your body on all fours without collapsing into the sheets. Your biceps are trembling dangerously, it seems like your elbows won't work anymore soon.

"K-Kook, please I beg you, please give me your cock finally! I-I can't hold-", you sob into the pillow underneath your squished cheek. Even though you already came three time on your boyfriend's tongue, you are still greedy. Almost as if you're an insatiable hybrid bitch in heat. It seems to be never enough for you.

You wiggle desperately with your hips, in the naïve hope to get at least some of Jungkook's cock into your leaking cunt. He's been teasing your swollen and painfully sensitive pussy for the past ten minutes now, making you mewl whenever he intensifies his cruel actions and circles your aching clit with the tip of his dick every now and then.

A huff in despite and a warning growl are the answer to your impatient behaviour, next to the harsh spank which follows on your right buttcheek.

"What did I told you? How are you supposed to call me, Slut?", he snarls at you in anger and spanks you once again, which elicits some pathetic whimpers from your lips.

Before you met Jungkook, would be scared and frightened to death if a carnivore hybrid ever had talked to you like this. But after all, it's Jungkook, your soulmate, someone you trust with your whole life.

Now it's sending you shivers of exitement down your spine and the thrill of upsetting your Alpha makes your hole clench around nothing, so even more of your juice is dripping down onto Jungkook's dick.

"I-I'm sorry, Alpha! I didn't meant to anger you, it was my fault! Please... Please discipline me for my embarrassing behaviour. I'll be a good bitch for you for now on, I promise!", you cry out in a trembling voice, words slightly muffled by the pillows. It takes all of your mental strength to resist the urge to push your hips back, begging Jungkook nonverbal to fuck you. God, you're so unbelievable greedy, you should be ashamed to be such a cockslut for your Alpha.

Jungkook hums in satisfaction as he hears your remorseful words. As a reward, he massages your slightly bruises asscheek gently and gives you a dozen soft kisses on your spine.

"Good, very good. That's what I like to hear, Princess. I hope you can keep your promise and won't disappoint me more often today."

The moment you're about to open your mouth to approve his statement, only a high-pitched moan of relief is coming over your lips and fills the room. Finally, oh finally he's entering you with his dick and stretches you out in the best ways possible. It feels like heaven, now you can die happily with this fat cock stuffed up your pussy.

"You were so impatient and begged so pitifully for my cock, now you'll take everything I give you, yeah? Gonna fuck this pretty little pussy up! Stretching it nicely around my knot and ruining her with my loads of cum until it spills out next to my dick. Simply just to stuff it back into your gaping cunt with my fingers. Oh yeah, you like that, hm? Clenching so greedy around me to keep me in..."

His lips twists in a filthy smirk, showing off his fangs and licks over them before he slams his hips with all force back against your ass.

You're such a good little bitch for you Alpha.

[prettyboykatsuki]

♡  bakugou headcanons that feel like a warm hug ♡

➳wc ;; 1.2k (oh my god. what is wrong w me.) 

➳ a/n ;; or my bakugou brain-rot that never goes away. thanks for being my comfort character, you fucking gremlin. forgive the silly title. 

♡ always makes little adjustments to the environment for you. he’s observant to a fault so if there’s something even a little off and it happens to bother you, he’s trying to work around it. 

♡ good at playing guitar but not good at reading music. he can throw something together if you give him a chance but he’s not good at trying to recreate someone elses memory. he’s not like.. musically gifted either but he likes how guitar sounds 

♡ thinks about getting a lot of piercings in his ear because he thinks they’d look cool but is kind of too nervous? the idea of a needle going through his skin is a ick. when you start dating, he drags you to his appointments lol - won’t admit it but he thinks he looks so hot when he gets them. takes a bunch of selfies <3 

♡ needs to be moving constantly. can’t sit completely still to save his life. when he listens to music, he moves his head. sometimes he just runs his thumb over his fingers. 

♡ really, really bad at talking. not in the sense he can’t communicate (that too) but he just likes listening in conversation. rarely adds his own thing. but when he does - always accidentally says something super meaningful 

♡ enjoys subtle physical touch because it is literally intimate he melts inside. a hand on his forearm or shoulder. your legs over his lap. small things that show how comfortable you are. 

♡ likes being held cause he’s a big ass baby lmfao 

♡ wont admit it but enjoy when you choose pretty or colorful bandages for his cuts he won’t himself but it’s like keeping you in his pocket wherever he goes.  

♡ really needs you to find him attractive dslksjk it’s not that he ever thinks he’s particularly ugly. but he didn’t really assign importance to his appearance at any point in his life, yet now he puts in a scary amount of effort. readjusts his hair so much more, makes sure his clothes fit good. fixes his fuckin’ face lol 

♡ likes chewing gum a lot and always has a pack on him. really proud of how big he can blow bubbles and will be a little sad if you’re unimpressed. 

♡ is overly sentimental about things you’ve made him - especially if it’s something super dumb. you drew him a silly little sketch of him in a frog hat? it’s in his wallet behind his id. freaks out when he thinks he’s lost his wallet 

♡ LOVES phone calls. yes he still hates talking. but the way his face looks when he listens to your voice. eyes half-lidded, shamelessly smiling - it’s so tender and so lovesick. 

♡ terrible first grader hand-writing. he tries to write them for you in the beginning of your relationship (to be romantic or some shit) but they’re so incomprehensible pls. if he focuses on it - it can be legible but most of the time ... yea no. 

♡ doesn’t favor tea or coffee but prefers tea if he has to drink one. 

♡ crazy good at eyeballing measurement. even in baking. once made a perfectly good bread without weighing anything and doesn’t get why that’s so wild. 

♡ has the phone on his text set to be bigger even though his eyes are fine. 

♡ lets you do the layout thing on his iphone and decorate as you please. says he doesn’t care but when he sees you made it hero themed/fit with his aesthetic - he got so red it was so cute. 

♡ hates shopping in store. will still always go with you because the one time you went alone a store clerk hit on you.  

♡ so practical. he started couponing when he was in his early twenties like an old man. checks the news and weather the night before, every night. never misses doctors appointments. 

♡ shit at any form of visual art. drawing, painting etc - cannot do it to save his life. but he tries. his hands shake when he tries to draw hearts for you 

♡ blows the eyelashes off your cheek super gently whenever he notices. he’ll like.. take your face in his hands and blow so softly like he’s gonna hurt you. 

♡ used to agree to make pinky promises with you as a joke. now though? automatically holds his pink out for you to take it. straight up pouts if you don’t. 

♡ you two have a song and when it comes on, he’ll sing it back to you. any other time? any other song? he wont. but he always sings your song even without realizing, just mouths it. 

♡ enjoys when you put your hands under his shirt and just leave them there and hug him like that. skin to skin contact is elite but only from you. 

♡ hamsters adore this man. they just do. 

♡ draws frowny faces on your eggs with hot-sauce 

♡ soul leaves his body when you play with his hair and scratch his scalp. the tension in his neck literally disappears and he just sighs that shit relaxes him like crazy 

♡ the first time he says i love you, you’re tying his tie for his first hero event. you’re telling him to that the color looks good on him and you’re smiling. it honestly it just slips. he went on to win an award that night. 

♡ his favorite memory of the two of you was when you were trying to leave the grocery store one afternoon. it was raining heavy as shit. you pulled him in under your clear umbrella and just stood there. he doesn’t know why but that means a lot to him. 

♡ cares a lot about his dads approval on his work specifically. him and his dad have a really specifc bond and he actually admires him quite a bit. 

♡ nothing makes him cry like “im proud of you”. especially when it’s for something small. it’s just something he didn’t hear enough in a sincere way. 

♡ likes fruit flavored sweets over chocolate (generally needs something to do w his mouth cause it helps him think. bad oral fixation) so he keeps little candies on him 

♡ shit at video games. terrible at them with the exception of mario kart? for some reason. 

♡ always loses his keys 

♡ stutters every!single!time! he tries to compliment you. it’s been YEARS. 

♡ takes a melatonin gummy before bed and always drinks a glass of water 

♡ buys you flowers and keeps them too. like does the upkeep on it and replaces them if the wilt. suggests pressing them to keep them for longer. 

♡ lowkey cries really easily. he just gets overwhelmed w his feelings some times and it makes him cry even if he doesn’t want too. you and the bakusquad are sworn to secrecy over it though 

♡ wears his ring around his neck on a chain bc it’s easier to show off. 

♡ naturally good at doing hair! 

♡ likes sneakers but wears dr. scholl's because he walks a lot and is on his feet for most of the day w his job. just being careful. 

♡ loves u a lot <3 

[444tsumu]

title Not His Type

rating ★ ★ ☆ nsfw content

word count 4,800+

warnings timeskip!mattsun, yes i’m writing that he still practices w the s4, anyways explicit content, matsukawa calls you a bitch, spitting, rough sex, spanking, mattsun fucks you in his car, oral sex (f!reader giving), don't be silly wrap your willy folks

author’s note thanks to @kansroji for forcing me encouraging me to write this self-indulgent mattsun fic, send her her flowers everyone bc this was just muah :*

summary Issei teaches you that the meaning behind the words ‘I hate you’ is a lot different from what you’re used to.

“God, do you ever shut the fuck up?”

“How could someone be such a bitch?”

“I don’t know Mattsun, you tell me.”

There are two things necessary to keep the world spinning on its axis: inertia, and the insatiable hatred between you and Issei Matsukawa.

No one quite knows where it came from. Maybe it was your lack of regard for his permanently disinterested personality, or maybe it was the insufferable habit you had of making a comment every time Matsukawa did as much as make a noise— whatever it was, it was a never ending cycle of pure repugnance.

His tone was light, yet knowing Iwaizumi, you knew it was wavering on a more strict tone you really didn’t want to hear today.

Oikawa watched the interaction between the three of you, eyes narrowing as he did something nobody appreciates from him: he started plotting.

Oikawa watched the interaction between the three of you, eyes narrowing as he did something nobody appreciates from him: he started plotting.

To you and Issei, the nature of your relationship was that there wasn’t one at all. There was nothing but an indescribable hatred that will never go away because you guys just physically can’t stand the other.

To everyone else though? In Hanamaki’s words, “you guys just needed to fuck and get it over with already.” Sexual tension couldn’t fill half of the void the storm you and Mattsun left after every exchanged word. It nearly swallowed the room, the only two not able to see it being yourself and the middle blocker.

With an inquisitive look on his face, Oikawa decided the only way to get rid of this long lasting rivalry being now or never. “My dear Y/L/N, bad news.”

The words brought you back down to Earth, making you bite down a glare at the bored man in front of you and turning towards the setter.

“As much as I’d love to be the one to take you home,” he winks at you, long arm reaching out to lightly press itself against your cheek and you already see where this is going, “I just can’t—”

“Tooru..” Your voice wavered the same way Iwaizumi infamously did.

“Seriously Y/N-Chan, I hate being the bearer of bad news..” The sparkle in his eyes made you clench your jaw to prevent the scream from slipping through your lips. “But I had almost promised Iwa-chan and Makki a ride today.”

You could hear the slick in his voice, and you absolutely hated it. You hated how you knew exactly what was being planned. You knew in Oikawa’s stupid little head, he was formulating a stupid little plan thinking things would work out in his own stupid little way.

“I’m not getting into that fucking asshole’s car—”

“Oikawa I will purposely crash if she as much as steps foot in my car—”

“Get your fucking feet off my dashboard.” You hear his voice growl, long fingers reaching in front of him to press the Start-Stop button on his car and get the engine running.

You didn’t mean to press a sock-covered foot onto it, it’s just that you needed to adjust the anklet resting against your skin. You hadn’t caught when his eyes glanced over at the diamonds either, remaining for a second too long to be appropriate and quickly force it’s way in front of him.

With a slightly exaggerated roll of your eyes, you threw your head against the headrest and stared through the window to your side. You were wishing there was an awkward silence to torture Matsukawa’s ears, but instead, his phone automatically connected to its Bluetooth and began to play a song you surprisingly recognized.

He drove faster than you were sure he was supposed to. As soon as you blinked, he had already backed out of Seijoh’s parking lot and sped through the secluded roads and towards the city you inhabited.

Unwillingly, of course, you managed to steal a few glances at the brown-haired man next to you. His face was (surprise) as uninterested as ever, eyebrows resting dully above his hooded lids and lips turned just slightly down enough to look like a frown. Every now and then, his lips would go along with the song and his tongue would swipe across his bottom lip and into the corner of his cheek.

Matsukawa wasn’t an ugly guy. There wasn’t enough hatred in your soul to even try to lie against the idea. He was extremely tall, extremely fit, had a nice smile, and his voice matched his looks. If he wasn’t such a stuck up, emotionless asshole, he’d probably be one of the hottest guys you’ve ever seen. If and probably, of course.

“Gotta staring problem?” He muttered, head bobbing to the song in the background and that in itself just brought your cholesterol an unhealthy amount higher.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I see you have a lack of vocabulary too..” The banter between the two of you went back and forth, an awkward silence retching the car’s air after he sadly had the last word.

“I can’t believe there was a time you weren’t such a nuisance.” You nearly mouthed, words quiet enough to get lost within the lyrics of Kanye West, yet loud enough to get into Mattsun’s earshot and cause the car to abruptly park on the side of the nearly secluded road ahead of you.

“Hey, what the fu—”

“What’s your problem with me?” Matsukawa’s words haunted the air, and if you weren’t already awaiting his words, you might have actually been scared of the harshness in his tone.

“Me?” You questioned, using a hand to dramatically smack against your chest and glare at him in disbelief. “What’s your problem with me?”

He didn’t respond, only staring at you blankly and gripping on the steering wheel with enough aggression to taint the knuckles of his large hands white.

“Stop acting like a toddler,” the annoyance looked weird on him, and his usual nonchalant attitude disappeared with a mask of pure frustration that you’d be lying about if you said was ugly on him, “just tell me what the issue is so we can both stop whatever the fuck it is we have going on.”

“We,” you pointed between the two of you, “do not have anything going on, for your information.” You stubbornly crossed your arms across your chest, staring at him blankly and watching his large hand run across his face.

“You wouldn’t even be my type, you know damn well that isn’t what—”

Every word after the first half of the sentence drowned out as you continued to repeat it in your head. You wouldn’t even be my type. You wouldn’t even be my type. You wouldn’t even be my type…

“Earth to Y/N.” Mattsun snapped, glaring over at you and leaning his body back lazily against his driver’s seat. It was slightly reclined back, the comfortability of his position insinuating he didn’t plan on leaving until this conversation got somewhere.

“What do you mean I wouldn’t be your type?”

The words came out faster than you could acknowledge them. You didn’t regret speaking them, but you knew that they only worsened your situation. He would use this as if it was fuel to his never-ending out of fire of an ego and you hated it. The cold air in the car suddenly became more noticeable, goosebumps raising onto your exposed skin and making you feel as if all your senses were being ambushed.

“Well, well, well…” He begins to tease as if he was never angry, his large arms resting behind his head and that stupid smirk back onto his pink lips, “you feel some type of way about what I said?” His voice echoed into your ears as you did nothing but watch him in disbelief.

“You never stood a chance with me anyways.” You bit back at him.

Something in the air changed, but neither of you decided to acknowledge it. It was dark, the light from the dashboard doing nothing but illuminating your features and making Issei smirk to himself in the lack of lighting.

“How so?” He was antagonizing you, itching for you to continue to play his little game back with him because he had a plan. You could see it from the way he lazily blinked over at you, smirk still against his glowing face with nothing but arrogance and faux oblivion.

“You wouldn’t be able to handle me if you tried.”

Those words changed the aura within the car all in itself. You knew the double entendres of a statement could go any way with him. Deep down, you both knew exactly what you meant. Your words remained solid though, eyes staring at him like a fox refusing to glance away from his brown irises.

“Wanna try me?”

You were playing a dangerous game, you knew that. Something about you didn’t care though. There were many ways this conversation could’ve went, but you wouldn’t expect it to go in this direction.

The air in the room was thick, Issei’s brown irises watching you nothing short of predator like. No one spoke after those three words, and faintly, the change in mood also affected the change in genre of music as R&B began to slowly play through his speakers. You wanted to scoff.

His large ring covered hand suddenly inched towards your chin, gripping your jaw and forcing your eyesight on his own face. You weren’t one to blush, but the roughness to his calloused fingers brought a small tinge between your slightly exposed thighs.

“You gonna get in the back or I gotta force you back there?” His words commanded you, the strictness laced within the confines of his voice leaving you no option to do as he told.

Doing what Matsukawa said as if you were following his orders was something foreign to you. The temptation of doing as you pleased crossed the back of your mind, but the curiosity of seeing what he had in store filled you with much more satisfaction.

Without a word and instead settling for a simple eye roll, you kicked your shoes off and found your way between the two front seats and into the cold leather seats of the back of his car. It was cramped, surprisingly cleaner than you'd imagine, and smelt of nothing but Issei.

You would have enjoyed it if the circumstances were different.

Your body sat with your feet resting behind you, leaving a space open for him. The sound of his car door opening and shutting was the cause of the goosebumps rising against your skin.

Subconsciously, you knew were supposed to hate him. You were supposed to despise him for always being such an asshole to you, and you were never supposed to forgive him for anything he’s ever said to you out of his stupid smirking mouth.

You weren't supposed to be hopping into the backseat of his car after challenging him into sleeping with you. You weren’t supposed to be enjoying the feeling of his presence as it finally found its way next to you, the dark tints of his windows hiding his expression but not doing a good job at hiding the bulge hiding in the confinements of his sweatpants.

Your eyes glanced over his, quickly switching between the tent and his irises with an innocent smile on your face. “You gonna take those off or am I gonna have to force them off you?’

Mattsun had never laughed at anything you’d ever said. At least, never to your face. For the first time though, a soft chuckle left his lips as he hunched his body over and rolled his sweats down. You’d be lying if you said you never wanted to provoke that sound out of him again.

He wore Supreme black briefs, a smirk on his lips as he watched your eyes trail over to the excessively large print. His dick was long, curving deliciously to the left and making you fear for your own safety. The thought of that nearly made you drool.

Mattsun made a show of pulling his briefs down, his erection springing to life and showing you that he wasn't even fully hard yet. Maybe you would’ve felt some type of way about not arousing him as much as he was you, and you could thank the pool inside your panties for that, but something about it brought a glimmer to your eye Issei couldn’t ignore.

“Eager to suck my dick, huh?” His words ring against your ears, and you do nothing but give him a glare while getting on all fours across the backseat.

His long torso leaned against the car door, eyes boring onto your frame with a blank expression that drove you insane. You knew this was all an act, he had to have been pretending just to get a rise out of you. There was no way you could’ve missed the way his dick twitched when you got up to take your shorts off.

Your frame was left in a white t-shirt and a seamless green pair of panties known for their cheekster style. He would’ve told you that you looked absolutely delectable, but he'd never let you sit within that satisfaction.

You lowered yourself on all fours once again, holding your hair back with one hand and lowering yourself down between his long limbs. Your eyes just couldn't look away, the large veins running up and down his perfect looking length in a way that made you embarrassingly ready to shove it down your throat already.

And without another word, you opened your lips and allowed a trail of saliva to sliver down the underside of his dick. His thighs tensed up, but as you watched him through your lashes while lowering your lips onto his tip, his bored and expressionless face remained the same.

He couldn't take his eyes off the sight in front of him, as much as he'd hate to admit it. Your ass was up in the air, back arched in a way that nearly made him release a groan as your pretty little mouth left sloppy kisses along his throbbing tip. You used a free hand to run down his cock slowly, hands landing underneath his thick balls and holding them alongside the bottom half of his dick.

He tried to hold the hiss you took out of him, but you used that as an excuse to make him suffer even more. Almost as if it were a competition, you sucked your cheeks in while taking the rest him that fit into your mouth agonizingly slow.

Matsukawa was too big, not that you were complaining. You didn’t have much of a gag reflex, but his size goes beyond that. So in order to accommodate to the situation at hand, you lolled your tongue out across your bottom lip and easily slipped a bit more than half of him down your throat until he felt his tip tickle the back of it.

“Holy fuck..” He breathed out, words stopping as he bit his lip and tilted his head to get a better look at you.

Your eyes began to water, but you ignored the sensation to take a deep breath as you began to massage his balls and lower half with your saliva covered hands. You began to move your mouth in the opposite direction of your hands, touching just enough of his balls with your tongue to get him to grip a chunk of your hair from within your own hand.

“Fuck, just like that.” You never took your eyes off him, and Matsukawa found it even harder to control himself with the way you took so much of him with so much ease.

You hollowed your cheeks as you slipped his now fully-hard dick out your mouth. Trails of saliva followed, the explicit view of your teary eyes and sloppy lips making him groan within his throat.

“Fuck my throat.”

The words were harsh, your expression being just as blank as his once was, and Issei realized he wasn’t really the one in control here. Not if all it took was for you to tell him what to do and he was scrambling to do it like second nature.

His lips revealed that lazy smirk you wanted to fuck off his face, the large hand gripping your hair nearly shoving his dick back into your fresh, wet mouth. “Don’t mind if I do, princess.”

The nickname he called you didn't even have time to register in your mind, the sensation of Matsukawa forcing your head up and down his dick as much as he could being the only thing on your brain. You couldn't help the tears from slipping down your cheeks, eyes opening once again to hazily look over to the ones burning a hole into your face.

Matsukawa couldn’t find it in himself to look away from you. He wasn't sure if it was the tears, or the way you allowed him to fuck your throat so easily, or the drool leaking down into the balls you fondled at the same time, or even the way the hand once gripping your own hair found its way between your legs as he watched you play with yourself, but Issei decided this image was going to ruin everyone else for him.

He already decided he couldn't get enough of you. The sound of your gags filled with car in a nearly pornographic way, yet not once did you ask him to stop and he took note of that. 

“Fuck,” he broke out, eyes struggling to watch yours as his lips parted open, “you’re gonna make me cum,” his words were interrupted by a load groan. Your tongue found its way back onto his balls as his tip rammed into the back of your throat and Issei felt his toes curl. “Fuck, fuck, fuck..”

Right on time, you went against his strong grip and popped his dick out of your mouth with saliva drooling down in a way that looked so forbidden, Issei was sure he would’ve came at that sight alone.

“That was...”

“Not your type?” You bit at him, a mocking smile on your lips as you bit your lip and found your way onto the comfort of his lap.

It was weird, the way you felt like you fit perfectly within his frame as if it was a piece of a puzzle. Matsukawa would agree if he could, hands nearly instinctively finding its way onto the globed of your ass and pulling the fabric of your panties over and over again.

“Never in a million years.”

His smirk haunted you, lidded eyes staring at you once again and you realize Issei Matsukawa is a really hard guy to get a reaction out of. So taking the challenge yet again, you stared at him just as emotionless. Your fingers lifted the patch stuck to your folds, and the trail of wetness that dripped over onto both you and his own thighs was nearly sinful to the sore eyes.

It was hard to imagine taking a dick you were sure you could see in your stomach with such an expression, and you wouldn’t wish that suffering on your worst enemy. You couldn’t believe how much just half of him stretched your insides out, your walls sucking him in and barely being able to hold it in together.

“Don't worry, take your time.” Matsukawa’s tone was beyond condescending, the taunt behind his words bringing an anger within you enough to cloud your mind of all common sense. It was unexpected, the way your body just shoved the rest of him inside of your tight, pulsating hole and rested all your body weight on top of him.

“Fuck!” Both of you yelped out, your hands clawing at his chest while his gripped your ass cheeks apart in nothing but a burning sensation.

He filled you up to the brim, the sureness of him hitting your cervix causing your eyes to flutter at the feeling. You bit your lip, adjusting your body to where your feet were on either side of him on the backseat and your body was more able to move.

His eyes widened in surprise at your actions, the sound of both of your pants alongside the music that was long forgotten struggling to keep you attentive. Without warning, you lifted your body up and slammed back down onto him. The action brought a pretty little gasp out your lips, mouth parted and eyes clenched at just how fucking amazing the curve and thickness of his cock was.

“C’mon baby,” he whispered into your ears, hands reaching over to intertwine themselves with your own so you got better balance, “fuck me like you mean it.”

“You’re such an asshole.” You breathed out, beginning to bounce your body up and down his dick perfect enough to hear the squelching sounds of your wetness after every impact. Issei groaned, eyes glued to the sight of where your pussy swallowed him whole and spit him back out over and over again.

“Mm, what else baby?”

Issei’s bored resolve started to crack, groans slipping through his lips in a way that made you tighten up against him even more if it were possible. Your hands gripped his intertwined ones, bouncing up and down faster than you could probably handle. The sensation of his dick hitting your cervix over and over causing you to arch your back closer into his body as you bounced.

The sound of your body slamming into his began to quicken, the strength of your legs giving up as you realized his started to fuck you back from the bottom and drill his length into you.

“Fuck, Issei…” You moaned out embarrassingly loud, Mattsun’s eyes watching you with curiosity in his irises from the way he wanted to figure out how to get you to moan out like that again.

“Don’t be shy now,” he teased, the strain in his voice telling you that even if he was torturing you with the pounding of his dick, he was enjoying it just as much as you, “where’d all that mouth go, pretty?”

You felt yourself clench at the nickname, head leaning back and leaving your neck open for him to lick a trail over towards your jaw and softly bite the plush skin. The windows began to fog up, the sensation of your poor pussy taking him in and out and quick pace causing the car to jump up and down with each stroke.

“F-fuck,” you stuttered out, nearly crying out when his hands found it’s way towards under your ass to support you as he drilled all of this thickness into your throbbing pussy.

The familiar knot began to grow within your stomach, and your hand found it’s way between his messy locks only to grab it and tilt his head roughly back against the window. A surprised groan left his lips, eyes staring up at you widely with a smirk endured from straight pleasure shot up his lips.

“You gonna cum all on daddy’s dick?”

Usually the words would have made you cringe, and you wanted to bite a snarky remark at him for the name. Yet something in you grew feral at the sentence, beginning to rub your clit against him each time you harshly dropped down as you roughened your grip on his hair.

“Fuck yes, daddy, make me cum,” your words tickled his ears, the moans at the end of each word bringing Matsukawa into a state of euphoria. He could hear you say that to him for the rest of his life, if he could.

“Come on baby,” he groaned out harshly, smacking your ass enough to leave a sting that made you cry out into his neck, “give it to me!”

His words echoed in your ears, your loud cries like music to his ears as he watched you fuck him back just as rough as he was being with you. Your hand pulled his head back once again, his scalp hitting the window harshly but he didn’t care once your lips came crashing onto his.

It was nothing but teeth and tongue, sucking on each other’s muscles and making out as if nothing in this world could ever be right again without it. His hands gripped your ass once again, spreading them harshly apart and spanking them with as much toughness that went into spiking a volleyball.

You screamed into his mouth, words being unable to come out as he began to drill into you even rougher and faster than you knew was possible. Your legs had long given out at this point, simply being tossed up and down like a rag doll by Issei’s strong arms and cocky attitude. You were in heaven, even if you’d never admit it.

“I— I hate you,” you fought to yelp out, pussy beginning to squeeze at the feeling you knew all too well as you stared into his eyes and made him look at you as if he was seeing God, “but you fuck me— fuck, you fuck me so good..”

Your words became faint whispers, stars beginning to formulate instead of his once brown irises and bring you into a state of euphoria.

“Daddy I’m gonna—” The words were stolen from your lips as Matsukawa slammed your lips against his own and gripped your back close to his chest.

“Cum baby,” he groaned into your lips, your own sounds preventing you from being able to kiss him back as your covered tits bounced into the confinement of his chest, “cum on daddy’s big dick.”

The words brought a vibration within you, a mantra of the words daddy and please slipping as you felt the euphoria take over your body and leave you with nearly nothing inside you. Issei could practically feel you cum, his own resolve giving out as his shot his thick cum into your throbbing pussy and bringing another scream from between your swollen lips.

“Take it, good girl— fuck yes..” Words slipped from his mouth without his own permission, the sensation of your pussy holding him within you as if it never wanted to let him go and he really wouldn’t mind.

Nothing but your struggles to catch your own breath filled the car, his own haunting the ghost of your ear as you laid out across his chest with saliva threatening to slip from your lips and cum leaking down both of your thighs. It was absolutely disgusting if you really thought about it, but the idea of knowing you had just slutted each other out so sinfully brought your toes to curl one last time.

No one said a word, and as much as you wanted to comment on how he was still gripping your chest against his own, you decided to go against it and try to find reality from the solitude of his wide chest. You could hear Brent Faiyaz on the radio, the view of just how foggy the windows were making you giggle to yourself.

“What’s funny?” The rumble of the words against his chest caused your pussy to throb once again, and you had almost forgotten he was still lodged inside of you with a load of cum threatening to spill out.

“Nothing.” Your voice was gone, and as embarrassing as it was, Issei mentally found himself obsessing over how raspy it got.

The silence was calm, yet the awkward conversation of what next lingered within the air between the two of you. You knew it was going to come soon, and you weren’t really sure of what could possibly happen afterwards. There was no going back from this, Issei Matsukawa had fucked you so good, you never wanted to fuck anyone else again.

The first to break it was Mattsun, which took you by surprise. His large hands found their way towards you cheek, caressing your head as his pushed you back far enough to face him with fucked out eyes and swollen lips and Issei convinces himself you’re one of the seven wonders of the world.

“We should do that again sometime.” He suggests, bored eyes staring into yours as you noticed the small smile lifting amongst the corner of his lips. You wanted to smile back, but the idea of having some more fun with him seemed quite better.

“Eh,” you replied, lifting your weakened body back into his straddling state and biting your lips as you placed both hands across his broad chest. You notice the way his cock twitches hungrily within you, and you realize you were gonna enjoy this a bit too much.

He’s seeing stars, thinking the hottest thing he’s ever seen is a fucked out you staring at him this way and you realize you’ve finally won. You stare at him, bored eyes and a lazy smirk on your lips mimicking the face he spent all his life mastering.

“You’re not really my type.”

                             © 444TSUMU 2021

[mjolnir-steve]

I Want Your Midnights

Jake Jensen x fem!reader

Word count: 1926

Summary: Jake has been your best friend since first grade, and as is tradition, you're spending New Year’s Eve together. This time, Jake’s throwing a party at his new apartment. You share feelings, but not timing.

Warnings: straight-up angst, hints of fluff to ease the pain, mentions of legal alcohol consumption

Author’s note: This is a little bit of backstory for Hack the Halls, what I thought would be a one-shot. I received some amazing feedback on it, though, and I want to try my hand at a series if folks are interested and I feel inspired. I think this can be read as a standalone, but if you’re reading it alongside HTH, this takes place one year before. Thank you (again) to Iva (@beefybuckrrito) for beta-reading this for me, helping me make decisions when I stalled myself, and getting me through the blocks I had along the way. 🥰

The title and some story elements are from “New Year’s Day” by Taylor Swift (lyrics | song), one of my all-time favorite songs. This time of year is always difficult for me for a number of reasons, so channeling some of those emotions into this story was extremely cathartic and served to help me begin building a world for these two cuties.

As always, likes, comments, and reblogs are so appreciated. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and to know if you’d like to see more of them!

I hope everyone has a happy, healthy, safe, and UNEVENTFUL (lol) 2022! Happy New Year, friends. 💙

This is dedicated to @syntheticavenger, the shining star whose amazing work and 5K Challenge played such a major role in getting me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard lol) again. Taking the leap and writing/sharing stories again changed my life immensely, and I look forward to what this year will bring. I hope you’ll check out Synth’s work immediately.

Around 5 AM, you thought you’d scraped the last of the candle wax off of the floor, ready to take a nap before heading to Jake’s sister Franny’s house for New Year’s brunch. Why Jake thought trusting a bunch of inebriated adults with lit candles and sparklers inside his new apartment was a good idea, you could never be sure. But he did, and now here you were, cleaning up the mess from his first-ever “Petun-Year’s Eve” party while he took a quick shower to rinse off the glitter and champagne.

-

Yes, your grown-ass best friend of over 20 years threw a holiday soirée with a theme honoring his niece Rebecca’s pee-wee soccer team, even though she wasn’t invited herself. Guests were required to wear something pink, or else they would be “denied access”... That didn’t stop Pooch, Clay, and Cougar from walking right past Jake at the door. Aisha conceded to Jake’s rule in her own way, opting to wear a deep shade of pink lipstick with her all-black clothing. Even though you had a perfectly nice outfit picked out, Jake pleasepleasepleased until you agreed to wear a Petunias home jersey, matching with him in dark jeans and the new sneakers he bought you for Christmas.

The new year’s celebration looked more like a little girl’s birthday party, the living and dining rooms decked out in sparkly pink and purple decorations and dinnerware. Your best friend was silly and a little too carefree sometimes, but those were some things you loved most about him. He didn’t care about conventional ideas of fun, unashamedly and wholeheartedly liking what he liked and not letting anyone tell him he couldn’t.

Unfortunately for you, these qualities (and his biceps) also caught the eye of his neighbor, Ally. He invited her at the last minute while making small talk in the elevator, and though you would never admit it, it made you see green. She didn’t show up when the party started at 7, so you enjoyed yourself with Jake and his coworkers, making use of the Polaroid camera you’d gifted him and playing amateur bartender.

You’d spent New Year’s Eve with Jake and his family since you were kids, and it became tradition that you kissed each other on the cheek at midnight, even though you eventually found yourself wishing one of you would “accidentally” not turn your head. The thought of telling him briefly crossed your mind, but was interrupted by the tiny blonde from the sixth floor arriving at 11 PM.

She seemed nice enough, but after introducing herself to the other guests, she immediately clung to Jake, flipping her hair and laughing a little too much when he spoke. He didn’t seem any more or less interested in her than anyone else, ever the crowd-pleaser as he explained the theme of the party and gushed about his niece. You couldn’t blame her, could you? He wasn’t yours and you weren’t his, and this was another ill-timed reminder.

You maintained conversation, laughing when appropriate and asking about her life. If your stomach weren’t turning at the innocent smile Jake gave her, you might have even liked her. Might.

At 11:59 PM, your friends lit sparklers (idiots) and began counting down. You walked across the room towards Jake, having wiped off your lip gloss because he disliked the feel of it on his skin.

3… 2… 1…

You froze in place when Ally lifted the Polaroid camera, snapping what would’ve been a cute selfie of her kissing Jake if seeing it didn’t make your bottom lip quiver. You shook your head and rolled your shoulders, backing away so you could get a grip and grab one of the mini bottles of champagne from the ice bucket. Noisemakers went off entirely too close to your ears as you walked down the hallway, ducking into Jake’s bedroom and climbing out onto the fire escape for fresh air, half-empty bottle in hand.

When Ally pulled away from him, you were the first person Jake searched for, his eyes landing on the back of your jersey as you tried to slink away unnoticed. Shit, he thought, knowing he had to fix this somehow and fast.

“Thank you so much for coming, Ally! It’s actually past my bedtime, so I’m gonna go and put pajamas on… Yeah, um… I’ll see you around.” Jake pointed finger guns at her before vaulting over the back of the couch to chase after you, leaving Ally confused as all hell until Aisha pulled her up to dance.

Jake found you on the fire escape, legs dangling over the edge and sipping your champagne while you watched the fireworks display over the Harbor.

“Bub, did you forget something?” He smiled, sitting down next to you.

“I remembered just fine, Jensen. You were preoccupied.” You took another swig from the bottle.

Jake frowned when you called him by his last name, something you only did when you were fed up with his shit. “It’s only 12:03. Can we institute a five-minute rule?”

You exhaled, knowing you couldn’t argue with him without making your jealousy and possessiveness painfully clear. He was looking at you like a kicked puppy, and you knew your therapist was not going to love hearing about how quickly you caved… if you decided to tell her.

“How about instead of a rule, we just make up for it now and try not to miss it again?” You held out your hand to shake on it, but he grabbed your shoulders turning you to face him, promptly kissing each cheek twice.

“One for the original, plus one for each minute I was late. Happy New Year, Y/N.” He smiled at you and your heart clenched, but you knew you had to play it cool, as if he weren’t the most adorable being you’d ever come into contact with. You brushed your lips softly against his cheek before standing up, downing the rest of your champagne, and climbing back into the bedroom.

“I’m gonna start putting the leftovers away, okay? I’ll see ya out there.”

Jake stared after you, wondering if he was imagining the tinge of envy to your tone, unsure if there was anything he could do to make things right when he wasn’t quite sure where he went wrong.

-

You heard the shower turn off and pinched your cheeks, trying and failing to snap yourself out of the funk you’d let yourself sink into. You didn’t know it, but Jake was doing the same in front of his fogged-up bathroom mirror, working a small amount of gel into his hair as he reviewed the events of the night.

Franny asked you to take a picture of the two of them together, giggling and nearly spilling her vodka soda as she played with your hair and said she only trusted you to get the best angle. He smiled to himself, watching you fix his sister’s hair for her before allowing them to pose. He picked her up, squeezing her tight as she laughed and begged to be put down.

After the three of you took a group picture, Clay called Jake over to make a call for the seemingly never-ending game of Uno. As his guests argued the rules about the +4 card, he zoned out, making heart eyes at you across the room while you laughed with Franny as you contemplated your poses.

“Dude, are you listening?” Clay plucked Jake’s glasses off of his face when he still didn’t respond.

“Come on, I’m busy,” Jake whined, snatching his glasses back and putting them on in time to see you smile wide, eyes closed and fingers held up in a peace sign.

Clay threw his arm around Jake’s shoulder, walking him over to the far corner of the room. “Will you just tell her, Jensen? This is becoming painful to watch. Kiss her at midnight. If she reciprocates, great. If she doesn’t, say you’re drunk and I dared you.”

Jake’s eyes widened, weighing his options. “Do you think that’ll work? God, yeah, okay. I think it’ll be fine.”

But when the countdown started, he couldn’t find you in the packed apartment, and he only caught sight of you right before Ally crashed her lips to his, ruining his plan.

Maybe next year.

-

The only thing left to do was sort the Polaroids since Jake decided the glitter was now simply a part of the hardwood, always popping up again “like a cold sore,” never fully gone. You flipped through the photos, making piles so you could give everyone copies. You smiled at all the group shots of Jake and “The Losers,” as they called themselves, choosing to let them each pick the ones they wanted. There were several pictures of Jake and his sister, you and his sister, and the three of you together. You outright laughed at some photos of your work friends, evidently out of their minds during a game of Uno with the other guests.

As if confirming your life was just a sitcom for whatever being was watching the big TV in the sky, the last two photos were of you and Jake… and then Ally and Jake. They do look cute together, you thought to yourself, tossing both photos on the table and calling it quits.

You were in the middle of making a pot of coffee when Jake emerged from the bedroom in yet another Petunias shirt (the away jersey now) and a pair of joggers. He took over, pouring two small cups and fixing yours exactly how you liked it before handing it to you and taking a seat at the table where the snapshots lay.

“That’s a cute picture of you, and um, Ally. Good idea.” You took a sip from your mug, internally smacking yourself. Idiot.

He choked a little, wiping his mouth with a purple paper napkin. “Eh. I guess it’d be cute if I liked her like that. I was just trying to make a new friend.” He shrugged, picking the picture up and folding it into a grossly disproportionate plane before aiming for the trash can in the corner, narrowly missing. “This is why I stick to computers.”

He stood and walked over to pick up the little plane and place it in the trash can, leaning over to kiss you on the cheek on the way back to his seat. “Did you change your face wipes?:

Your face warmed at his questions. “Uh, yeah. You said the other ones made my face ‘taste funny,’ so…” You hid your grimace behind your mug.

He hummed, sounding pleased. “Well, thank you for helping me with the party, I always wanted to do something like that, and I couldn’t have done it without you.” He grinned when the Polaroid of the two of you caught his eye, your arms wrapped around him from behind, kissing his cheek as he laughed, his glasses slightly crooked. “This might be my favorite picture of us we’ve ever taken, bubba.”

You gave him a soft smile in return. “You’ll have to make a copy for me. I like that one, too.”

“I know exactly where this is going.” He ran to his bedroom, placing a small piece of double-sided tape on the back and leaning it against the lamp on his nightstand, facing his preferred side.

I wish I knew where this was going, you thought to yourself, deciding your New Year’s resolution might just have to be finally letting go of your feelings for your best friend.

[miraculouscontent]

“Sentibubbler” summary? “Sentibubbler” salt?

Why not both at the same time?

Something a little experimental, though also somewhat reminiscent of some of my past videos. Calling it “summasalt” for now, based on the word “somersault” because this episode was an exercise of my patience.

It’s basically just me going through the episode with my usual episode summary, but salting along the way instead of making you guys read a wall of text without any images or clips or me making snarky comments.

(By the way, yes, I did in fact have caffeine before recording.)

script below for anyone who wants/needs it:

"Sentibubbler" begins with Marinette having food with the Cesaires and I already know this isn't real because Marinette is actually getting to interact with her best friend's family. That's only happened, like--when, two episodes of Season 2? [”Sapotis” and “Anansi”]

Marinette sees Trixx and points out how they're supposed to be a secret, and Alya asks why while calling Marinette "Ladybug." Marinette plays dumb but is told by Nino that everyone already knows her secret. Chloe is also there, chiding Marinette for her identity rule - it's not Marinette's rule but after "Reflekdoll" I've just gotten used to Marinette being blamed for things she didn't do - and Marinette goes to question Chloe's apperance when there's a knock on the balcony door. Alya invites Shadow Moth in and--[Shadow Moth has to duck to come inside]--huh, I thought Sole Crusher was seven episodes ago.

Anyway, now obviously, Marinette is just being ridiculous and overemotional as usual, because why would Marinette ever think that Alya would reveal any information to--["Feast"]--oh yeah, that's right.

Tikki doesn't transform Marinette and says that Marinette shouldn't have trusted Alya with her secret. Enter Chat Blanc, who says that they can be together now without any secrets. Not really sure what this episode is aiming for with the mixed message of "your identity rule sucks" but also "your fault for trusting someone instead of having a mental breakdown," but a’ight. Trixx also gets another dig in on Marinette for giving Alya the fox miraculous.

Marinette wakes up from her nightmare and panics, but Tikki reassures her that Alya is loyal. [”Chameleon”] Mm. Also, that kind of support might've been nice from Tikki literal seasons ago when Marinette could've used a confidant.

Wayzz - I swear, they've had eyelashes more often than not in this season - points out that Trixx is mischievous and Xuppu talks about Trixx being the cause of the Loch Ness monster rumors, which worries Marinette further. Marinette runs out in her pajamas and I can already predict that neither Tom nor Sabine are going to check on her later or care.

Marinette finds the Cesaires looking for something, their words vague enough for Marinette to think that they're talking about Trixx. Alya brushes Marinette off and tells her to help with looking instead of lecturing her.

Marlena makes a comment that reminds Marinette of her nightmare, only increasing Marinette's stress. A tarantula crawls up a ladle and Marinette freaks out when she sees it, which Marlena has a laugh at because Marinette's anxiety, fear, and panic is hilarious, guys!

This is my laughing face. [not a laughing face]

Nino exits, having been too afraid of the spider to leave the room, so Nora compares Marinette to him. Nino tries to play it cool, then changes the subject to point out Marinette's pajamas. Alya wonders aloud why Marinette showed up and Marinette tries to act casual, but Alya sees through it and states that she doesn't usually lose things when someone lends them to her.

I presume the exception is Marinette's trust. OH-HOOOOHHH, we'll get there.

Nora takes a jab at Alya for losing the spider and Marinette drags Alya away to talk. Nino tries to join but Alya states that it's between her and Marinette, which makes Nino sad.

Nino, does the phrase "guys' time" ring a bell by any chance?

Marinette is explaining her nightmare and is simply told to calm down by Alya, though Marinette is briefly startled by a phone ringing. Marinette puts together what she knows that Shadow Moth knows, including that Alya is Rena Rouge, adding on that Shadow Moth could steal the fox necklace if he figured out that Alya has it permanently. Alya reassures her that no one will ever know and Marinette states that this must include Chat Noir. Alya agrees and brings attention to the fanny pack around her waist, which Trixx has been hiding in, and Marinette has Trixx promise not to show up at the dining table like in her nightmare. Tikki tells Marinette that everything will be fine and Marinette admits that it was silly of her to worry, which it was! ...If you ignore all the anxiety, mental scarring, and constant pressure to be perfect or risk Paris lighting itself on fire, much like I presume they accidentally did with their original script for this episode.

Alya tells Marinette to trust her and also herself - I'll be sure to keep that in mind, Alya, thank you - then Alya loses her temper at the phone continuing to ring. She leaves to find an empty living room, then answers the phone only to hear Shadow Moth on the other line. Alya turns upon hearing Marinette scream to see that Marinette has been trapped in a bubble. Cue the reveal/return of the Bubbler, who is definitely Nino akumatized and not--like--a sentimonster, because the episode didn't spoil it at all with the title of Sentibub--

show, this is freaking embarrassing. Why even bother akumatizing someone when you can mold a sentimonster with the exact power you want?

At least they reveal it quickly, though that also means I have to live with the knowledge that Shadow Moth wINKED AT ALYA, NO.

Anyway, Shadow Moth tells Alya that he wants her to betray Ladybug. Marinette, meanwhile, is panicking over being unable to transform while in public, whereas Tikki remains calm and reassures her that Alya will figure something out and it's why Marinette gave Alya the fox miraculous in the first place.

Weird, I thought it was for the show to continuously validate Alya as a worthy choice for a confidant despite repeatedly covering up her sINS and so the show can push for more anxiety on Marinette's part while simultaneously not having to make a new hero model for Alya, which they would have to do if the realistic decision had been made to give Alya a different miraculous due to Shadow Moth knowing her identity as Rena Rouge.

Marinette texts Alya to inform her that the Bubbler is a sentimonster and so Rena can tell Chat not to use Cataclysm on him or the bubbles will burst due to the sentimonster's lack of control.

Hate to burst the show's bubble but Alya could literally see Nino up in the sky and they could see her; the bubbles are in viewing range. Did this even go through a quality check?

Alya goes to look at Marinette's text, but the phone is bubbled away by Sentibubbler. Marinette sees the phone floating by and panics, only to be reassured again to trust Alya and at this point I vaguely wondered if I was watching this episode on repeat. Tikki also adds that Alya has never let her down - [”Ladybug”] MMMM - and Marinette agrees, also certain that Chat Noir will show up soon.

Oh yeah, he exists. Oh no.

Cut to the Agreste mansion where Adrien is watching the news - dude, how is there never anything better on when you need to be told that there's an akuma? here, look, I'll show you [”Silencer” Lukabug clip] there, much better, see? - and it's pointed out that the bubbles are identical to the ones Bubbler had, yet Nino is in one of the bubbles. Adrien readies himself while Plagg is - for once - okay with leaving since his cheese isn't "edible" yet.

I feel like he should be a little more concerned about Marinette being in a bubble.

Meanwhile, Shadow Moth is explaining to Alya that Ladybug will come to give her the fox miraculous due to the bubbled people in the sky - plenty of other choices that aren't within breathing range of the obvious danger zone, but a'ight - and SentiBubbler will catch Ladybug. Alya brings up Chat Noir saving her but Shadow Moth states that she'll create an illusion of Ladybug and Rena to lure Chat Noir, who won't see Sentibubbler coming, at which point Rena will hand Shadow Moth her miraculous. He adds that her loved ones will only be returned once all three miraculouses are in his possession, though if she tries to warn the heroes then Sentibubbler will send the bubbles into space, too far for any hero to save them.

[clip of space power-ups] Hm.

Also, I would've just let her keep the miraculous as an extra bribe since he doesn't need the fox and she wouldn't have time to recharge anyway - at least to his knowledge - but that's just me.

Marinette is relieved that Alya still hasn't been captured--TIKKI, I KNOW, YOU'VE BEEN PARROTING THIS ALL EPISODE, I KNOW--but Marinette changes her tune when she sees Alya blindly calling out for Ladybug's help, unaware that Alya is buying time. Marinette laments the idea of transforming there and having using the rabbit to go back in time to reverse, as that's never a good thing (seconded), but gets the idea for Tikki to take her miraculous to someone else. Tikki rejects the idea, as the earrings won't go through the bubble, and Marinette realizes that Chat Noir is their only hope.

I mean, it was nice knowing them. Sure is interesting how Marinette has only been getting herself into these situations where she requires saving when the show needed to present Alya as a valid choice for a confidant.

Meanwhile, Chat Noir is leaving a message for Ladybug about the bubbles in the sky, saying that he'll wait for her; I already see where this is going and I don't like it.

Alya mutters to Trixx about how they need a plan to release Marinette. Through Alya Vision, we're shown Sentibubbler, a bowl of fruit, and the bathroom door. Alya tells Sentibubbler that she needs to go to the bathroom and - wow, we're really doing this, aren't we? - which Shadow Moth rejects. Shadow Moth is also on top of a building holding a coffee cup which honestly makes about as much sense as the rest of the episode, so whatever. Alya claims that she can't wait and that it'll be awkward for Ladybug to find her like that, which gets Shadow Moth to relent but also remind her of what's at stake if she tries anything. Alya states that she can't do anything without a miraculous anyway, then purposefully falls onto the table, concealing her long enough for her to transform and allowing an illusion of herself to go to the bathroom while she escapes. She detransforms in the twins' room and feeds Trixx with some grapes that she'd picked up.

Alya explains her plan to trick Shadow Moth and Sentibubbler since they don't know that she has a miraculous, though she also has to make sure that Chat won't ruin things. Rena then proceeds to call Chat Noir and claim that Ladybug wanted her to call him with her plan, but adds that it's a two-person plan and Chat himself isn't needed, so he needs to wait for further instructions. Chat demands that Ladybug call him to tell him herself, but Rena insists that she can't, as Ladybug is very busy. She warns him not to use Cataclysm if he sees the Bubbler, as he's a sentimonster, then promises to talk to him later before hanging up.

She uses Mirage again, making the Alya illusion reappear as well as creating a Ladybug. Chat Noir, infuriated at being left out, destroys part of a building with his baton. He then dismisses the action because Miraculous Ladybug will fix it.

Spoiler alert, it will, which is a very fascinating detail! I mean, I can't imagine another situation where a hero did something while there was an akuma going around and Miraculous Ladybug decided to help 'em out, but it just goes to show what happens when you're the writers' pet. Just look a little pitiful and they'll give you all the sympathy in the world.

By the way, didn't expect them to actually confirm my theory that Chat Noir does Chat Noir things because he knows that Miraculous Ladybug will fix it anyway, essentially allowing him to earn brownie points from Ladybug via sacrificing himself regardless of how it affects her mentally, yet here we are and I don't know whether to be sad, angry, disappointed, or a mixture of all three.

Chat Noir sees the Ladybug illusion jumping off and gives chase, refuses to stay where he is. Marinette, seeing that Rena Rouge's illusions are active, panics at the sight of Chat Noir, as the illusion will vanish if Chat touches it.

I like to imagine the immediate concern is the idea that Chat Noir will try to take Ladybug's hand while trying to flirt.

Anyway, Marinette flails inside the bubble in an attempt to reach Chat Noir, while illusion Alya and SentiBubbler get into position. Chat Noir watches what he perceives as Ladybug heading into the Cesaire house with Alya, but Marinette gets to him in order to tell him not to go anywhere. Chat complains about everyone telling him to stay put, but Marinette explains Rena's plan to him. Chat is skeptical of how she knows that, to which Marinette insists that she saw it from where she was. Chat Noir relents with a sigh and stays where he is.

SentiBubbler watches as the illusion of Alya and Ladybug talk to each other, Rena making it look like Ladybug is piecing together what happened and refusing to give Alya a miraculous ever again due to Shadow Moth knowing her identity. She claims that she'll find another holder and give them an even more powerful miraculous, which interests Shadow Moth and gets him to follow after the Ladybug illusion. Once Sentibubbler leaves as well, Chat sees this as his chance to stop the sentimonster, as the Ladybug illusion will vanish if it's touched. Marinette strokes his ego for the token love square moment of the episode, and Chat Noir fights SentiBubbler while Shadow Moth goes after the Ladybug illusion.

I'm noticing a real lack of tension in this episode. Once Alya has her plan, it's kind of a clean sweep from start to finish with no interference or unexpected roadblocks in the way. Even Shadow Moth following the Ladybug illusion goes fine, with Shadow Moth even punching a building thinking that Ladybug actually got away from him.

Dude, it's fine, Miraculous Ladybug will fix it, just put on your best sad face. Maybe Chat Noir gets it from you actually, is treatment from the writers a hereditary thing?

Sentibubbler and Chat Noir are still fighting. Shadow Moth shows up and Marinette tries to warn Chat, but Chat gets caught in a bubble and Marinette apologizes; she doesn't have anything to apologize for but after "Reflekdoll" I--wait I already did this.

Chat Noir uses Cataclysm to escape, only to get caught in another bubble. I'd just like to throw out there that this guy's a hero three seasons going and the love interest for the main character, yet his role in the episode has amounted to complaining about the authority of a hero Ladybug chose, throwing a property-destroying tantrum over being excluded, and wasting his power without a single thought which just got him captured again.

Chat, does the name "Syren" ring any bells by any chance? I'm just sayin', you could always quit. In fact, wasn't it you literally one episode ago saying that you understood if Ladybug couldn't always come get you? Then, after seeing the jump from "Glaciator" to "Frozer," I'm about as shocked as rubber.

Back with the competent one, Alya notes to Trixx that Rena Rouge can no longer be seen by Shadow Moth or else the jig is up. She transforms and texts Marinette to be ready, creating an illusion of Marinette that simultaneously hides the real version, allowing her to transform into Ladybug.

Chat Noir's bubble gets dragged down and Shadow Moth gets SentiBubbler to mute Chat Noir's bubble.

[clip from “Silencer” where Ladybug takes amusement in Chat being muted]

Ladybug uses Lucky Charm and receives a pot, her Lucky Vision spotting Shadow Moth's coffee cup, then SentiBubbler, then the tarantula trapped in a bubble. Ladybug deduces that the cup is the sentimonster's object, then pulls the horse miraculous out of her yoyo and unifies it with the ladybug--oh.

Oh my.

You know, it's times like this where I'm reminded that the show knows nothing about fashion... or girls... or good writing actually--there's just a lot of stuff they don't know.

Sentibubbler does a countdown, then starts sending the civilian bubbles up into the sky. Chat Noir is about to de-transform while PegaBug notices of Shadow Moth's two miraculous, up for grabbin'. She notes that she won't be able to catch everyone, so she forms a portal behind Shadow Moth and goes for the coffee cup first, thus putting her in control of SentiBubbler, who happily brings the bubbles back down at her command.

Shadow Moth erases SentiBubbler from existence though, causing everyone to fall, but Chat and PegaBug manage to catch them. PegaBug de-transforms and presents the Cesaires with the tarantula, which had been trapped inside the lucky charm. Ladybug and Chat Noir watch Shadow Moth escape and Ladybug laments that it could've been the end of Shadow Moth once and for all because it's not a Miraculous episode without Marinette being at fault or feeling guilty in some way! Chat Noir reassures her [*by “reassure,” I mean he might as well have said, “Well, you saved ME, so you did great!”] - wow, that's two token love square moments for the price of one episode, don't I feel spoiled - and Ladybug leaves to retrieve the tarantula's tank.

Rena Rouge is waiting for her and they hug, with Rena repeating that she doesn't lose something that someone gives her. Ladybug states that she never should've doubted the idea of giving Alya a miraculous and Imma just give you guys a counter real quick. [counter that shows that Tikki has complimented Alya four times, Alya has complimented herself/told Marinette to trust her thrice, and Marinette has said that she was wrong thrice]. Miraculous Ladybug is cast and everything returns to normal, with Alya explaining what she did and Marinette being relieved that Shadow Moth won't be going after her anymore. Alya confidently asks if she was smart and Marinette is happy to praise her, confirming it and stating that Alya is a real superhero and honestly? If the narrative wanted to marry Alya this badly, they should've just used some of the budget to buy a ring instead of projecting onto the other characters.

Then again, the apparent budget can't even afford a new hero model nor new akuma to a very noticeable degree, so I guess they're taking what they can get.

Alya praises Marinette as well for her work as PegaBug and they do a fistbump, thus ending the episode. There's also this ever-so-lovely post-episode scene with Gabriel and Nathalie where Gabriel laments the fact that Ladybug never makes mistakes which--I... has he even watched the series at all? Gabe, babe, Babriel Agreste, it's literally part of the show's formula that Marinette makes a mistake in every episode and she felt guilty like a minute ago over not yoinking your miraculouses when she had the chance, where have you been?

But, yeah, anyway, the episode.

Needless to say, not a fan. Like I said, the show seems so intent on immediately validating the choices they make with Alya in order to make her look like a better character. "Gang of Secrets" basically replaced her with someone different at the end of the episode, and the episode immediately afterwards in chronological order, "Mr. Pigeon 72," did everything it could to push Marinette out of her guardian position long enough for Alya to figure out the grimoire despite having zero onscreen experience with it, the episode even trapping Ladybug in a situation that forced Rena Rouge to come into play to validate that decision as well.

And now we have "SentiBubbler" here following immediately after "Optigami," desperate to reassure its audience that Alya is cool, smart, truthworthy, and that not needing to make a new model--sorry, I mean Alya continuing to have the fox--was a good decision. All the while, they continue pushing Alya's flaws under the rug [Note that it’s not even considered that Alya is even remotely at fault for Shadow Moth going after her specifically after her stunt in “Optigami” when no one else but Ladybug and Chat have ever given out a miraculous], hiding them instead of Alya actually acknowledging them, the only reason she did so in "Optigami" being the same as in "Gang of Secrets"; to make her look good while Marinette makes a big decision in their relationship.

The episode tries so hard to drill in this idea that Alya is a good friend who can be trusted, and I'm just not here for how much they try to hammer it in. Marinette's very real anxiety over Shadow Moth's power and ability to plan things is played off as her being silly instead of something to be concerned about, and instead of giving her a hug and trying to help her calm down - [clip from “Heart Hunter” of Luka hugging Marinette] I miss Luka - she's just told to trust and believe and hAVE fAiTh in Alya.

Shadow Moth is an adult; he has abilities that the teenage heroes don't. I'm not even saying that Marinette isn't overreacting [Basically, her concern about Shadow Moth is valid, especially after “Optigami” where her identity was almost found out], but she has anxiety and some obvious trauma over "Chat Blanc." I was already upset that Alya got a free pass to Marinette's identity, but the constant stressing over how much Marinette should trust her just doesn't affect me when I know Alya and I know the kind of stuff she's done that the show blatantly ignored in favor of pushing for her.

But okay, show, I'll give Alya the benefit of the doubt that she doesn't deserve. Let's say that she's turned a new leaf, and has become the reliable, trustworthy, and loyal partner that Marinette deserves. I'm sure that Alya has Marinette's back, and will never go behind said back in order to do something completely unsurprising and wholly indicative of the character I actually know her to be.

Especially not a mere three episodes later...

[watchmegetobsessed]

An Ocean Away - Harry Styles

Sequel to Tastes Like Strawberries 🍓 !

a/n: ahhh! thank you so much for the love you showed TLS! i already had more planned for the story, but all your comments motivated me to do this part 2! it’s an emotional one so brace yourselves! further in the chapter i placed the song that inspired the title and i listened to it while writing so i suggest you do the same!

pairing: professor!Harry x Reader

warning: sexual content

word count: 12.7k

masterlist

You walk down the familiar hallway texting back Eden that you are not spending the night at home again.

Eden: You really need to tell me about the dick that keeps you so busy these days.

Y/N: I never said a thing about any dick.

Eden: Oh please, you surely got yourself a rebound after Harry, you can’t tell me otherwise.

Y/N: Don’t you get a rebound when you broke up with someone? I was never together with Harry, so it doesn’t make sense.

Eden: You had a thing!! Okay, whatever. Keep your little secrets, I guess it’s fine…

Y/N: Love you!

Chuckling to yourself you put the phone away and stop at the door you know all too well, knocking two times before you open it and poke your head inside.

Harry is sitting at his desk, his reading glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose as he is vigorously scribbling something down into his notebook. He lifts his head at your arrival and you shut the door closed behind you.

“Hello, professor,” you smile at him teasingly, walking around his desk as he pushes himself back a little so you can sit on his lap, pecking his lips gently.

“Hey, done for the day?” he asks, his fingers tenderly stroking your thighs over the fabric of your jeans.

“Yeah. We can leave if you’re done,” you nod.

“Just a few more minutes, alright?”

“Sure,” you nod, standing up from his lap so he can finish his work while you sit on the little loveseat he has in the corner, right under the window.

It’s been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, the new semester has officially started, you’re working your way towards your degree as this is officially your last semester, but what’s more important that you and Harry have been a couple for six weeks following the heated actions of New Year’s Eve.

Harry is still quite anxious about the whole thing, always on high alert and he even asked you to lie to Eden and Nat too. You tried to fight him on that, but you could tell how much he wanted to protect what you had so you decided to feed them this elaborate story about how you and Harry had a fight on New Year’s Eve and realized that it would have never worked out so you agreed to stay just friends. It seems like they believed, because they’ve been keen on trying to set you up with someone while you just keep dodging their attempts, sneaking around with Harry behind their back.

Other than the continuous lying and sneaking around, things have been going well with him. You’ve been spending a lot of time at his place, the only hiding spot where you can be carefree around each other without always watching out for others around you.

Today is Valentine’s day and though your opportunities to celebrate are very slim, having anything that’s slightly public crossed out of the list, that still doesn’t stop the two of you from having a good night in.

You watch him curiously as he is reading the lines of someone’s essay probably, or some test, whatever. Holding the pen ready to use whenever he finds something incorrect, he furrows his eyebrows at something before crossing out a line, mouthing the words he writes to the side of the page. He doesn’t wear his glasses that often, but he’s been complaining about having dry eyes these past days so it’s no surprised he switched to them from his contact lenses.

“You look sexy in your glasses, have I told you that?”

He glances at you, a small smirk tugging on his lips before he returns to the paper in front of him.

“Think they make me look older,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Nah, not more at least than your grandpa sweaters,” you tease him, earning a ‘Really? This again?’ look from him that makes you chuckle.

You busy yourself while Harry finishes his work and then you head out together, strictly keeping the distance between each other. Walking out of the building Harry heads to the left where the car park is while you take a turn to the right. It’s been your usual, since you can’t have anyone see you get into Harry’s car so casually, so you usually walk down to the small café near Building D, because there’s a very narrow little street running behind it where you can get into the car without anyone noticing you. You do the same now too before finally heading back to Harry’s place. Sinking into the comfortable seat, you stare out the window, thinking about how it’s just been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, but it feels like you’ve been together with Harry for months. Despite his many doubts and hesitant act, it was easy to fall into a kind of routine with him, and even more easier to get used to the thought that he is yours and you are his.

During these six weeks you’ve learned quite a few things about him, things women on campus would die to know and they were handed over to you on a silver plate by Harry himself.

One, he is a very touchy person, of course, when he has the chance for it. In the safety of his home or when you have a few minutes for yourselves in his office, he always likes to have his hand on your back or waist, he loves touching your hips or cheeks, caressing the skin wherever it shows from under your clothes. He is also very cuddly, likes to wrap you in his arms when you’re watching TV and when it’s time to sleep the first thing he does is to pull you into his embrace. You usually wake up in the morning with him completely wrapped around you, limbs thrown over you, face buried into your chest or stomach. He is a messy sleeper, but also a fucking adorable one.

Two, he is a good cook but not that good at baking. He says it’s the universe’s sign that he shouldn’t eat as much sweet stuff as he does, but in reality he just sucks at measuring the ingredients. He never follows the recipe, easily goes with things his own way and then he is surprised when it doesn’t turn out as it should.

Three, he notices the smallest things you’d never. Like how you hate it when the Sun is shining right into your face so he always makes sure to draw the blinds in the evening, or that you prefer sleeping with more pillows so he just simply gives you an extra without even asking every time you’re spending the night. He cares so much about you to the smallest details, it always makes your heart flutter.

And four, though he keeps a tough act in school, he is a lovesick puppy when no one is around, likes to be the small spoon when cuddling, absolutely adores it when you cup his face in your palms and kiss it all over. Loves it when you play with his hair or when you hug him from behind, kissing between his shoulder blades. He always tells you how pretty you are and never misses a chance to sneak a kiss from you. You couldn’t imagine him do any of these before you really knew him, but now you see that all these little things are just as much parts of him like the version of him he shows at school. You feel lucky to be able to see him like this and you’ll probably never get bored of it.

Arriving to his place you drop your bag off at the bedroom before you join him in the kitchen, already eyeing the flyer to the nearby Italian place that delivers.

“How about pizza?” he hums, eyebrows knitted together as he scans the menu.

“Sounds good. Can we order dessert too?” Walking past him you kiss his shoulder before grabbing a glass for yourself, filling it with tap water.

“Oh, no need,” he shyly answers, glancing at you. “We… have dessert.”

You watch him with curious eyes as he disappears in his little study before emerging with a plate filled with pink cupcakes. They look wobbly, the cream on top is not the same on either of them, but because you know he made them, they are the most perfect you’ve ever seen.

He places the plate to the counter with a shy smile before turning to you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmurs, hands finding your hips as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“Oh baby, did you stay up last night to make these?” you ask, touched that he took the time and energy to surprise you with something. Harry nods and you kiss his dimples softly.

“Mm, they are strawberry flavored,” he smirks boyishly.

“We are never escaping strawberries,” you chuckle softly as you dip your fingertip into the cream on top of one of the cakes, tasting it. “Hmm, this is actually good,” you tell him.

“Yeah, the cream is kind of okay, dunno about the rest though,” he admits chuckling.

“As long as it’s not poisonous, I’ll love it,” you giggle kissing his lips again softly. “Alright, but I can’t go over the fact that we agreed on no gifts for Valentine’s Day,” you say giving him a look.

“S’not a gift, just… a little gesture,” he shrugs innocently.

“Okay, then you can’t get mad over my little gesture,” you smirk at him, peeling his arms off you before you run into his bedroom to get his gift.

You really weren’t planning to give him anything, but you had a good idea last minute and couldn’t just not do it. Digging into your bag you pull out the little box and join him in the kitchen again, handing it to him.

“It’s not fair if you spent money on it,” he pouts, but you just roll your eyes.

“You spent money on the cupcakes too. But besides, I didn’t spent a penny on it. Open it!” You urge him.

Harry huffs but takes the lid off, revealing a stack of Polaroid photos. In this not too ideal situation the two of you are living in, there’s no chance you can ever post anything about him, even though there are quite a few cute photos of you with Harry. Eden recently bought a Polaroid printer and you borrowed it to print your favorite pictures of the two of you. There’s one from the morning after New Year’s Eve, just a silly selfie you took in bed, then one with the band from Harry’s birthday recently, a photo of the two of you backstage of one of his gigs you took in the mirror, he has his guitar in his hands as you stand next to him smiling widely. There are a few more with Sarah, Mitch, Charlotte and Adam and at the very end of the stack… some special ones.

You watch him go through them smiling warmly until he reaches the last few and freezes. You took the courage to take a few spicy ones of yourself in your favorite lingerie and thought it would be sexy to print them out as well and give them to him.

“I hope you’re not thinking about selling them already,” you chuckle. Harry glances up at you before shaking his head with a playful smirk.

“Was just a little surprised by them,” he admits.

“Do you… like them?”

“Oh baby, I love them, you look… wow,” he breathes out going over the pictures one more time. “But I’m gonna have to lock these away so no one finds them. Adam likes to go over my stuff when he is over, I definitely don’t want him to find them.”

“You better keep them safe because if anyone sees them I’m burying myself,” you snort.

Harry puts the stack of photos back into the box before leaning down he cups your face and kisses you gently.

“Thank you, love the pictures. All of them,” he adds cheekily and you feel yourself blushing.

He leans in to kiss you again, putting the box aside to the counter and this time it’s not just one short kiss, he carries it on, taking his time with your lips, savoring and tasting you without a worry in the world. It grows more and more passionate, tongues clashing and you tug at his hair, lacing your fingers through his locks, a moan escaping his pink lips.

You start inching backwards until your backside meets the edge of the counter. Harry doesn’t hesitate to pull your sweater off of you, throwing it behind before his lips are pressed against yours again. It doesn’t take long for his shirt and pants and your jeans to end up on the floor somewhere behind him, leaving you both in just your underwear. You kiss down his neck and collarbones, your lips gliding across his tattooed chest as you slowly slide down to your knees, hands moving over his growing bulge.

Hooking your fingers into the elastic of his boxers, you tug them down and pull his erection out, already so hard for you and you barely even touched him.

“What does my Valentine deserve for making me cupcakes?” you hum, teasingly pumping him a few times with your hands. Harry whimpers under your touch, but doesn’t answer so you stop your hands and look up at him. “Talk to me, what do you want?”

“Your mouth,” he breathes out, his eyes meeting yours, filled with lust and hunger only for you. Smirking to yourself you lick his length up before gently kissing the head, swirling your tongue around the tip before you slowly take him into your mouth.

“Oh fuck, baby!” he pants when you start bobbing your head, pumping the base in sync with your head’s movements.

His hand comes to the back of your head, fingers lacing through your hair. He doesn’t force you, he never does, just likes to hold onto you. You try to take him deeper and deeper with each movement until you fit his whole cock into your mouth, keeping it there for a few seconds before pulling away and letting him go.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he mumbles, helping you up from the floor, kissing your lips hard as he is already pulling your panties down your legs. “How do you want it?”

“From behind,” you tell without hesitation, turning around so you can lean onto the counter and push your ass up for him.

You feel one of his hands stroke down your spine while the other one reaches between your legs, his fingers finding your clit, drawing gentle circles on it at first before he goes a little harder, making you moan his name.

“Harry, please!” you beg, the need to feel him growing with each passing second.

He pulls his hand back, grabbing his hard cock as he lines himself up with you, one hand on his shaft, the other one holding your hip firmly to keep you in place. First he pushes just the tip inside and when he is sure you’re ready to take more, he slides all of him inside, filling you up perfectly.

“Shit, you feel so fucking good. Always so good,” he breathes out, both his hands coming to grip your waist as his hips meet your ass from behind.

He starts moving, going a little soft at the beginning before he gets rougher, his hips smacking against your ass with each thrust. You arch your back and push your ass up so you’re angled just perfectly for him, he runs a hand up your back, sliding it under the clasp of your bra and he leaves it there while fucking you from behind oh so well.

“Harry, oh my God!” you groan when he starts hitting that one spot that makes you go crazy.

“Feeling good, baby?”

“Fuck! So good!” you gasp, feeling the pleasure building up with each thrust. “Go harder!” you beg and once he has both hands on your hips again he does as you asked, railing into you hard, making you keep gasping for air.

“Getting close? Tell me when you’re about to cum, baby.”

“I’m close, please don’t stop!” you pant, hands holding onto the counter’s edge for dear life.

He reaches around you, a hand coming between your legs as his fingers find your clit again, adding to the sensation as he starts playing with it just the way you like it.

“Fuck, fuck! I’m gonna cum! Harry!” you moan uncontrollably and he growls deeply from his chest.

“Cum with me, baby. Give it to me,” he breathes out sharply and he just keeps railing you hard, fingers working on your clit until he feels your walls clench around his dick. “Oh fuck, yes, baby! Cum on my cock!” he gasps and at the same time as you go through your orgasm, you feel him twitch inside you, coming hard with you at the same time. “Jesus fuck! I love you, Y/N!”

You gasp at his words, eyes snapping open in the middle of your orgasm and all air pushes out of your lungs for a moment.

He whimpers and moans, thrusting into you a few more times before he comes to a halt, both of you panting like crazy, coming off your high. When he slowly slides his softening cock out of you, you turn around and look into his eyes. For a moment you thought he just said it in the heat of the moment and he didn’t even realize it, but when your eyes meet his, you can tell he is a little afraid of what your reaction is going to be.

“Did you mean that?” you quietly ask as he tucks his dick back into his boxers, pulling them up, but you don’t bother to put your underwear back on, standing there in only your bra.

“I-I did. I didn’t mean to say it now, but I did mean it,” he nods. “Is it… too soon?”

“No,” you smile at him, stepping closer so you can cup his face in your palms, kissing his lips softly. “I love you too.”

“You do?” he asks, surprised at your reaction.

“Of course, silly. I wouldn’t give my nudes to someone I don’t,” you joke making him chuckle, his arms coming to curl around your waist.

“Sorry, this wasn’t too… romantic,” he breathes out and you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“You said you love me while fucking me on Valentine’s Day after exchanging cute gifts. I think it’s romantic,” you chuckle, finally making him smile. “Besides, I don’t care about the setting, just feels nice to hear you say it.”

“Yeah?” “Mhm, care to say it again so I can see your eyes as well?”

“I love you,” he softly murmurs, his forehead resting against yours.

“Yeah, feels better when I can actually look at you,” you chuckle kissing him softly. “I love you too.”

It’s definitely not just fun and games, being in a secret relationship that no one can know about. It surely adds a lot of tension into the situation, having to be so careful all the time and be reserved to the point where you can’t even be seen too often together.

As the semester carries on you always keep your ears open if there’s anything going on about you and Harry. Though you only limit your time together on campus to the bare minimum, only talking on rare occasions, you still want to make sure no one is getting the wrong (or right) idea about what is going on between the two of you.

The worst part is probably having to lie to Eden and Nat all the time. You spend about three nights at Harry’s every week and you have to lie every time you leave. After a while you tell them that you’re dating this new guy but he wants to keep it low-key because he recently broke up with his previous girlfriend. That gives them enough peace not to nag you all the time but you can tell they really want to meet this new man in your life.

You’ve tried to discuss it with Harry, tell him that they won’t tell anyone but it ended in a fight and you kind of gave up. Harry is way too keen on keeping it a secret and it’s clear he is not gonna make any exceptions. At least it’s the same with his friends, the two of you act like just friends when you’re out with the band though you have a suspicion that Sarah can see through the act. However she chooses not to talk about it so it’s kept hidden.

You don’t fight much with Harry, but when you do, it’s major. You both can get really into the argument and it easily gets way too heated, turning into a screaming match until you both realize you should just talk it out and have a little more understanding for each other. The makeup sex after a fight however… that’s something that makes up for every nasty thing that’s said in the heat of the moment.

Nearing the end of the semester you both start to grow more stressed, you about finishing your last classes, your thesis and studying for your finals, Harry about the growing pile of essays and tests waiting to be graded. A lot of the time when you’re at his place you both are busy with your own stuff and only have the chance to actually be with each other when you go to bed. It takes a toll on the both of you, but you’re determined to make it work. Despite the unfortunate nature of how you are forced to maintain your relationship, it’s the healthiest one you’ve ever head and you definitely won’t give up on it too easily.

Though you, Nat and Eden turn in your thesis works mid-April, the semester is still not done for the three of you, the final exams are threateningly close at this point. Spring has officially kicked in, the weather is mostly clear and sunny, allows you to stay outside again and you take advantage of it.

One particular afternoon the three of you are lounging under the pergola, all three of you buried in a book or your notes when you spot Harry walking towards the building. You keep your eyes on him as he slowly approaches you, his gaze meets yours and he smiles at you shortly. It’s all you can get out in the public, but it’s more than nothing.

“Isn’t it hard to see him?” Eden asks and glancing her way you see that she is looking at Harry who is now busy with his phone.

“Why would it be?”

“I don’t know, you clearly had a thing for him and it wasn’t even just a one-sided flirting like every other women had with him. I couldn’t be around him if it happened to me.”

“It’s not like anything major happened. It was all bad timing and the situation wasn’t good. It’s better this way,” you tell her, trying to sound convincing while the guilt is eating you on the inside. All these lies are clouding over your head and you have a feeling they will come down on you pouring one day.

“Still crazy that you are friends with his friends though,” Nat chimes in, squinting her eyes in the sunshine.

“Yeah, you are literally the only person on campus who gets to see him in his private life,” Eden nods. If only they knew how much you see him privately!

“It’s not that crazy,” you shrug, turning back to your book.

You all get back to work, forgetting about Harry, or at least Nat and Eden does, because you get a text from him shortly after he disappeared in the building.

Harry: You look very pretty today :)

Y/N: Flirting with me on campus, professor?

Harry: Can’t help it.

Y/N: You look handsome too, it’s a shame I can’t kiss you stupid!

Harry: Patience!

 “Y/N? Did you hear what I said?” Nat grabs your attention from the phone and you realize she was talking to you.

“What? Uh, sorry.”

“I said that we should go out this weekend. It’s been ages since we last did anything other than studying.”

“I’m not sure…”

“Don’t come with your usual, rambling about how we shouldn’t have any fun before we finish,” Eden rolls her eyes.

“That’s not what I say. I just think that we have priorities.”

“I don’t know about you, but it’s a priority for me to have fun, so I’m down for a night out.

“I think I’m passing,” you mumble. You already made plans for the weekend with Harry, take a hike up the hills since the weather has been nice and it would be great to spend time together outside the house. The hiking routes are far away enough from town that uni students don’t like to take the hustle to drive all the way out so you’ll be fine being together outside.

“If you want to say that you have something planned with your mystery man, don’t even bother. If it’s not his birthday, we are overruling him,” Eden scoffs and you roll your eyes at her.

“Just go without me.”

“That’s not the same!” Nat whines. “Come on, Y/N. For once choose us!”

“That’s rude I choose you guys a lot of times!”

“Not since you’ve been spending half your life with some man and the other half in the library.”

“Yeah, we feel abandoned!” Nat pouts at you, trying to make you feel bad and in all honesty, she is succeeding.

“We can doll ourselves up, have fancy cocktails and all that, it’s gonna be fun! Come on, just one night! I can’t take another Saturday sitting in my room, reading my notes,” Eden growls and you sigh in defeat.

“Alright, I guess I’m in,” you mumble and your friends start cheering as if you just declared that men and women are going to get paid equally from now on.

You can tell Harry is bummed that you have to cancel your weekend plans, but he is also trying to be understanding.

“I couldn’t bring up a relevant argument so they made me say yes,” you growl when later that day you’re cuddling on his couch after dinner.

“S’fine,” he sighs, leaning down he pecks your lips shortly.

“Wish I could just tell them that I had plans with you,” you breathe out.

“Y/N…” “I know!” you roll your eyes. “It’s just that it would be nice if I could at least tell them the truth.”

“We already talked about this,” he sighs.

“I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that it bothers me,” you point out. “Am I not allowed to feel that way?”

“You are, I just don’t get why you keep bringing it up when there’s literally nothing I can do about it,” he retorts.

“Well there is, you just choose not to.” And with that, you officially pick another fight with him.

It’s not that you enjoy fighting with him, not at all, but the situation is so not ideal and you find his overprotectiveness a little too much at times. You don’t understand why you can’t share it with your two closest friends. You could at least tell Sarah or the other guys, have anyone know about the two of you, but literally no one on Earth knows that you are a couple and it’s bugging you way more than it probably should.

“Why are you so damn keen on making others know about us? What does that have to do with anything?” he growls throwing his hands into the air, standing in the opposite end of the room as you keep pacing the floor, the urge to keep on moving taking over you.

“Because—“ you snap, but stop yourself. You know if you say it out loud, he’ll think you’re stupid.

“Because what?!”

“Because i-it makes me feel like we are not even real! I can’t talk about us, I can’t touch you outside of this house, no one knows we are a thing and it’s so fucking nerve-wrecking, Harry!” you break down, feeling your throat closing up. You didn’t mean to get emotional over this, but you’ve been bottling it up for a while now.

Harry’s shoulder fall forward as he sees the change in you, the heat of the fight long forgotten. He crosses the room, hands reaching up to cup your face in his palms, his thumbs running across the soft skin under your eyes as he wipes the tears away.

“Baby, I know. You think I don’t want to show you off? I want to hold your hand and just take a walk with you, kiss you whenever I want to, show all the horny fratboys on campus that you’re taken. I know it’s hard, but we really don’t have a choice until the end of the semester.”

He gently kisses the tip of your nose before pulling you to his chest, your arms circle around his waist as you bury your face into the crook of his neck, trying to stop your sobs.

“I’m sorry. I really wish it was all different,” he murmurs, kissing into your hair softly.

“No, I’m sorry for bitching about this all the time. I knew what we were getting into,” you exhale sharply. “It just… really sucks.”

“It does. But we just have to be patient.”

You manage to put the fight behind and move on in peace, but a tiny thought remains buzzing in the very back of your mind. What happens when you finish school? Will it all be different? Harry will still be a professor and if people see you around together, they will know you were one of his students. What’s gonna be the difference? If he is so on edge now, something is telling you he won’t be changing dramatically and it concerns you. A lot.

Not willingly, but you go out with Nat and Eden on Saturday. You go to a place that’s quite popular between students, you can most likely always find familiar faces from lecture halls and classes. It’s close to campus and more on the cheap side, the perfect spot for uni students for a night of fun.

As expected, you run into some people from school and they invite the three of you to sit with them at their table which comes in handy, because there’s no empty place by the time you arrive.

One drink follows the other and you easily get tipsy especially because you skipped on dinner before heading out. Though you weren’t in the mood for tonight, you find yourself enjoying the conversation and the company. It really has been long since the last time you went out with the girls and it’s nice to spend some time with them without the books and notes.

A debate starts about whose course one of the boys, Jace should take next semester.

“Professor Peltz is fucking boring, dude,” Nat growls, taking a sip from her drink. “Had him last semester, I could barely stay awake during his lectures.”

“Yeah, but they say he gives good grades easily,” Jace argues.

“Okay, but who else can you choose from again?” Lydia, a girl who lived a few doors down from you when you lived in a dormitory your first year.

“Um, Professor Makley and Professor Styles.”

You freeze at the mention of Harry, especially upon hearing Lydia’s reaction.

“Jace, choose Professor Styles! He is so fucking hot!”

“Not that it matters to me, Lyd,” Jace chuckles.

“Oh come on, I know even guys think he is hot.”

You feel like an intruder in the conversation, keeping quiet as you listen to her rave about how hot she finds Harry. It’s like you are eavesdropping on something that wasn’t meant for your ears, but it’s just the guilt bubbling inside you once again, because you know you won’t be able to say a word without having to lie.

“She has a point,” another guy, Garrett chimes into the conversation. “The man is handsome and I’m not even ashamed to admit it.”

“See?” Lydia chuckles. “He is sexy and smart, the whole package. I’ve been daydreaming about him since first year.”

You catch Eden’s look, but you just busy yourself with gulping from your vodka cranberry, feeling uncomfortable in the situation but not even for the reason she thinks. Eden must think it’s weird because you had an actual thing with Harry, but the truth is… that thing is still very much ongoing.

“I would let that man do whatever he wants with me,” Lydia adds sighing longingly, and you are having a hard time to hold your tongue. Unfortunately, you don’t succeed.

“Not sure he wants anything to do with you,” you mumble into your drink and though you hoped your comment would stay unnoticed, but you are out of luck.

“You don’t know that for sure,” Lydia slyly replies, a bit too full of herself for your liking. Yes, she is pretty and definitely doesn’t have problem with guys, but she is a little too confident about Harry if you’re being honest.

“I’m sorry?” you ask with a soft, bit annoyed chuckle.

“I’m just saying that we’ll never know who he finds attractive, because we all know he keeps himself so far from his students.”

“Yeah, maybe because he is not interested in any of his students,” you point out.

“As if he would ever make a move on any of us,” she snorts and you are losing your temper. You shouldn’t have had so much to drink, because now you really can’t hold your tongue.

“You can never know, Lydia. You can’t know if he acts the way he does because he is just trying to be professional or because he is, and consider this, not interested in you. Maybe he would actually act up on his feelings but you’re just not his type.”

Your comment is more like just a harsh comeback to Lydia’s words, but Nat and Eden kind of catch on that something is up with you. Ignoring their questioning looks you chug down your drink and soon excuse yourself to get some fresh air. No surprise that they follow you like puppies.

“Girl, what was that inside?” Nat asks as the three of you stand near the entrance of the bar, a few smoking guests littering the area.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” you mumble, clearly avoiding to look at any of them, wrapping your arms around your upper body as if you were trying to keep your shit together physically.

“You snapped at Lydia for saying Professor Styles might have a thing for her,” Eden points out, but you just bite the inside of your cheeks.

“Because it was bullshit.”

“Why does that matter to you? Not that you’re together with him or something,” Nat argues and you roll your lips into your mouth, trying to keep a straight face but they know you way better than that. They gasp at the same time, Eden grabbing your forearm forcefully that makes you scowl.

“Hey! That hurts!” you whine, but she couldn’t care less.

“Are you fucking around with Professor Styles?” Nat whisper yells at you, eyes wider than ever.

“I mean… we’re not fucking around,” you mumble, looking down at your shoes as you kick the dirt around. “We’re kinda serious.”

“Holy fucking shit!” Eden snaps, drawing some attention at her and you let out an awkward chuckle at the glances the three of you get. “Are you fucking joking right now?”

“No, I am… not,” you admit, feeling a little relieved that you finally said it, but you also feel like you let Harry down with it.

“How long?” Nat questions in shock.

“Since New Year’s Eve. So… almost four months.”

“So he is the one you’ve been seeing all this time? The guy you didn’t want to talk about?”

“Um, yeah. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk about him, we just agreed that it’s safer if no one knows.”

“I’m speechless, Y/N,” Eden shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t fucking believe you kept it from us for this long!”

“I know, I felt so shitty, but it’s such a complicated situation, it’s so risky, we don’t want it to ruin us.”

“Obviously,” Nat nods understandingly. “And now I see why you snapped so harshly at Lydia.”

“I just couldn’t stand her talking like that. You guys have no idea how hard it is to keep every fucking thought to myself.”

“Why do I have a feeling it has a little more to it than to just Lydia drooling over Harry?” Nat arches an eyebrow at you, folding her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, you’ve been oddly tensed lately,” Eden agrees.

“It’s just pretty stressful to have a secret relationship, it causes a lot of tension. And I’ve been… I’m not sure anything is going to change after I graduate, if I’m being honest.”

“What do you mean?” Nat asks.

“I just…” you sigh, all your thoughts you kept to yourself flooding back to you at once, overwhelming you in a situation that’s already a bit too much to handle. “We keep saying that it’s gonna change when I graduate, but I don’t see it. He is so overprotective and even if I graduate, people will find out that I was once his student. And it might not be against the rules anymore, but we’ll be judged. I didn’t think it through before, but it’s now starting to be more and more clear for me and I just… don’t know if we can make it work.”

You feel the tears forming in your eyes, you’ve been keeping this to yourself for way too long now and saying it out loud just broke the dam. When Nat and Eden sees your lips trembling and the watery eyes you’re trying to blink away, they don’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug.

“Aw, don’t cry! It makes me want to cry too!” Nat chuckles softly as they sandwich you between them.

“It just sucks so much, because I love him, but I feel like we met at the wrong time and place,” you sob, letting them crush you.

“It happens, baby. It happens. You’ll figure it out!” Eden kisses your forehead before they let go of you. “Want to go home?”

“It’s still early, don’t want to kill the party. I think I’ll just… head over to Harry’s for now. Is that okay?”

“Of course, do whatever makes you feel better,” Nat assures you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry I was such a party pooper.”

You call yourself an Uber and text Harry that you are going over. Twenty minutes later you are walking up the stairs to his house and he opens the front door before you could even reach for the doorknob.

“Hey, baby,” he breathes out softly and you don’t say a word, just wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face into the crook of his neck. “Hey, what happened? Didn’t have a good time with your friends?” He delicately caresses your hair, walking the two of you inside so he can close the door before wrapping both his arms around you, holding you close to his chest.

“Don’t really want to talk about it,” you mumble and it’s the truth. You’re tired of these thoughts though you know you should talk to him about how you’ve been feeling about the two of you lately. Part of you is hoping something will just magically solve the whole situation and you won’t have to deal with it yourself.

Harry makes you a tea while you take a shower and once you are both in bed, you cuddle to his side while he reads some. You are just genuinely enjoying his closeness, because despite everything that’s been haunting you in connection with Harry, you really love this man. Like no one else before and the possibility of the two of you not making it long term scares you more than it probably should.

The next few weeks come and go in a sense of numbness. Following your emotional breakdown in front of the bar, you kind of push the whole thing to the back of your mind once again, putting all your focus on finishing school. Neither you nor Harry has the energy to put up more fights though you both can feel there’s a lot to talk about, but the end of the semester is just keeping you both way too busy to acknowledge the problems waiting on the corner.

At least there’s one less weight on your shoulders now that Nat and Eden know about you and Harry. You made them swear to their life they won’t tell anyone and you trust them to keep this heavy secret. They’ve been very supportive of the two of you, interrogated you one evening about everything that happened so far, they wanted to make sure Harry treats you the right way. No surprise, he does.

A few weeks before your state exam Harry extends his contract with the school to have him as a professor for another academic year so he is able to keep his visa as well.

You spend your last two weeks buried in your notes before your state exam and Harry gives you all the time and space you need, knowing well how much it means to you to earn the best grade possible.

When you are finally over your exam, you are celebrating at his place. He has bought a little cake and some champagne and you can’t wait to finally spend some time with him without having to worry about your studies.

“I’m proud of you, baby,” he smiles at you, clinking his glass against yours.

“Thank you, feels nice to be finally free,” you chuckle before taking a sip from the champagne.

“My smart girl, knew you’d kill all your exams.” He kisses your lips shortly before squeezing your hand. “How about I run a bath for us, we eat the cake in the tub and then we can watch a movie?”

“Sounds fantastic,” you smile at him before he disappears in the bathroom to get everything ready.

Finishing your champagne you wash the glass quickly and you’re about to cut the cake when your phone buzzes signaling that you’ve just gotten an email. As pull down the notification bar your lips part reading the first few lines. You open the whole thing and read through it eagerly.

It’s a job offer, but not just some lame one that also sounds sketchy at the same time. This one is from one of the biggest investigation offices in London and they are offering you a trainee position as a forensic document examiner with a possible secured spot on their team after one year. The money sounds amazing, the position is perfect, just what you’ve been dreaming of once you are done with school and they are looking forward to hear back from you about a possible interview in the near future.

“Alright, bath is coming together nicely, want to cut the ca—Wha’s up?” Harry questions upon returning from the bathroom, finding you staring at your phone’s screen with widened eyes.

“I, uhh—I just got a… a job offer,” you stutter, still rereading the lines, trying to find a sign that tells you it’s just a joke, but it seems completely genuine.

“What? Baby, that’s amazing!”

“Yeah,” you nod swallowing hard before you look up at him. “It’s in London.”

You watch his face fall from excited and happy to shocked and kind of panicky. You both know what that means, it doesn’t have to be said out loud. Harry just signed another year with the university that’s gonna tie him here for the next 12 months and if you accept the job you’ll be all the way across the world in the UK. Kind of ironic, him, the British guy stuck in the States while you, the American in the relationship, eager to go to the UK.

“That’s… wow. London.”

“Yeah, London,” you nod biting the inside of your cheeks.

“Are you… Are you gonna take it?”

“Well, they want an interview with me, but this is clearly a huge opportunity for me,” you say, not wanting to say the actual words. You feel like saying them would hit you harder than what you can take.

“It clearly is, it’s just that… You want to leave?” he breathes out, eyebrows knitting together.

“This is my only job offer and probably the best I’ll ever get.”

“So you do want to leave,” he forces and it’s pushing your limits.

“Career-wise, of course!” you finally say out loud, unwillingly.

“And what about everything else?”

“I clearly don’t want to leave everything else here, but I will never get a chance like this, Harry. This is the greatest push for someone like me, fresh out of school. I can have a secured spot in a year at a well-respected place. I’m not really in the position to reject offers like this.”

He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, clearly unsure about what to do or say in the situation on his hand. You can tell he has a lot to say, but you’re not sure you want to hear all of them.

“Say something?” you softly plead and his eyes meet yours again, filled with concern.

“I just… It took me by surprise, I guess.”

“I wasn’t expecting it either.”

“No, not the job offer,” he shakes his head.

“Then what?”

“That you are ready to leave so easily. It’s like you never even wanted to discuss a version where you stay here, you just decided that you are leaving and that’s it.”

“Did you hear me? I cannot pass on this opportunity, Harry.”

“I did hear you,” he nods, pressing his lips together. “I heard that you didn’t even think about saying no.”

“Why would I say no?”

“Because I’m here, Y/N!” he snaps. “Good to know that I’m not a factor when it comes to decisions as big as leaving the country!”

“You are, Harry, but I need to think about my future career now. I’m not planning to work at an office for the rest of my life and if I pass on this job I might never get anything as good as this one,” you explain, but it seems like the two of you are having two different conversations.

“But why do I feel like it was never an option for you to stay?”

You give him a confused look. He really doesn’t see your point.

“Okay, why was only I supposed to change plans for us? You coming to London doesn’t feel like an option either, why are you trying to turn this against me?”

“I just extended my contract, you know that.”

“I do, and also, while we are at it, you didn’t ask me about that either. You didn’t even wait for me to figure out what I want to do after school, you just assumed that I would be here, but I never said that.” You can tell it hit him hard in the chest but somehow still, he thinks he is right when he isn’t.

“How could have I known you’d want to move across the globe?” he throws his hands up into the air.

“You’re saying this as if I didn’t just get the email and I’ve been plotting this the whole fucking time!”

“I’m just saying that it’s a huge fucking step and you decided so easily, it says a lot about the nature of our relationship.”

“Why are you saying that?!” you snap at him. “Why are you trying to make me the bad guy?”

“I’m not! I’m just saying that it would have been nice if you at least pretended like it was up for debate. You know what it’ll do to us if you move to London.”

“Then come with me!”

“I can’t!” He raises his voice, clearly losing his temper. “I can’t break my contract and you know that too.”

“Well, I can’t afford to say no to the job either and if I’m being honest, I don’t think we could have made it work even if I stayed.” The words leave your mouth before you could think about them, and the cat is finally out of the bag. It seemingly shocked Harry and he is now staring at you with a blank expression, shoulders falling forward.

“What?” he breathes out and you can actually hear his heart breaking. You take a deep breath and rub your face with your palms, trying to collect your thoughts and not just blurt everything out.

“I’ve been thinking and… Even after I’m officially out of the school, people will know that I was your student if they see us together. And I know how important your reputation is for you so I would never put you through any of the shit we might get for us being together. People would judge, no matter what the situation is. I don’t… I just don’t think we can ever make it work here.”

He stays silent, just stares at you, taking in your words and once again, you wish you could read his mind. You almost start begging him to say something when he finally speaks up.

“So you think we don’t have a chance?”

“Not here… maybe not now. I feel like this has been the perfect example of wrong place, wrong time,” you quietly say, a pang of guilt in your tone, this is not how you planned on making this conversation. To be honest, you wished this never had to come, but you were out of luck.

Harry is awfully silent, it’s all over his face how broken he is and you feel the same. You have so much love for this man, yet fate decided you don’t get to share it with him the way you want.

Walking closer you cup his face in your palms, searching for his eyes until his green irises meet your gaze. You run your thumb across his cheekbones, the pads of your fingers gliding softly over the soft skin. His hands slowly find their way to your waist and he pulls you close to him as you kiss him tenderly, a silent confession about just how much you love him.

“I wanted this to work. I wanted this so badly,” he whispers against your lips, his fingers digging into your back as he keeps you tight in his hold.

“I know. Me too,” you smile at him bitterly.

The rest of the evening passes by silently. You take a bath together, finish the cake anyway though even the sweetness can’t help the pain you both feel. Then you lie in bed for hours, just touching and feeling each other, making the best out of the time you have left. It’s unsaid, but you both know your days together are coming to a close end. Kisses and touches turn into some passionate love making, both of you desperate to feel as close to each other as possible and then you fall asleep in each other’s arms.

If you’re being honest, it’s all a blur following that night. You fix up an interview with London a few days later and they are not shying out of telling you straightforward that they want you there, the job is yours. You have one last short conversation with Harry about you leaving, but it’s more like just a confirmation that yes, it is going to happen and that leaves you with only a few weeks left together before you are packing up to leave the country.

You spend every possible free minute together until graduation where you finally get your degree. Your whole family comes and they cheer on you proudly, Harry standing in the crowd a little farther in the back, but still with a proud smile, a hint of gloominess in his beautiful green eyes. A week later you officially move out of your shared apartment with the girls, it’s a sobbing goodbye since all three of you are leaving in different directions following your graduation. You spend your last two weeks before your departure at home, spending as much time with your family as possible since you won’t be able to see them too often once you leave. Though your mom is dying to take you to the airport to say her final goodbye, you decided to give that time to Harry. He said he would drive to your hometown, pick you up and take you to the airport and you already know it’s gonna turn you into an emotional mess.

Leaving everything behind is hard, but having to say goodbye to Harry is the worst. It’s been a whole emotional rollercoaster for the both of you to get to this point and neither of you are ready to say goodbye, but this is what needs to happen.

That morning, you hug your parents, sister and brother tightly after you load Harry’s car with your two huge suitcases that have your whole life packed in them. You asked your family not to ask any questions about Harry and luckily, they kept quiet the whole time he was there, just treating him as a friend. You couldn’t take having to explain to them who he really is and how you met him, that’s gonna be another conversation for the future when you don’t feel like you’re about to start crying the moment you open your mouth.

The ride to the airport is silent, Harry holds your hand, your glued together palms lying on your lap the whole time. You haven’t even left but you already miss him so much.

Arriving he helps you bring all your stuff inside and patiently waits until you check your baggage in, leaving you with just your carry-on. Standing near the security check, the final moment finally comes and as soon as you look into his eyes you start bawling your eyes out.

“Oh baby, come ‘ere,” he breathes out, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I told you we would make everything right, but I couldn’t,” you sob into his chest as he holds you tight. You feel like if he let go of you, you’d just turn into a puddle at his feet.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he soothes you, his fingers threading through your hair.

“But it feels like it was,” you choke out. Harry leans back and takes your puffy cheeks between his warm palms, looking deep into your eyes.

“It wasn’t. As you said, it was just a matter of wrong time and place. But I think we brought the best out of it.”

“So… you don’t regret it?” you softly ask, eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“Absolutely not,” he smiles at you kindly. “I loved every moment of it. And I love you.” You notice how he didn’t use past tense when he said he loves you and you can’t decide if it aches your heart more or fills you with joy. A little bit both of them.

“I love you too,” you whisper before pressing your lips against his, savoring them one last time before you leave everything behind.

“Maybe we’ll meet again,” he smiles sweetly when he pulls back, tugging your hair behind your ear with a gentle move.

“I really hope,” you chuckle through your tears. “Take care, Harry,” you tell him, pecking his lips just once more.

“You too, baby,” he smiles, his hands falling to his sides as he lets go of you.

Turning around you walk into security and as you go with the line towards the gates, you glance back one last time. Harry is standing in the exact same spot, eyes glued to you as he watches you disappear from his sight.

It feels like the meeting is never coming to its end. You exchange a look with Jasmine, who seems just as tired and done with this two hours long discussion as you are. She grabs her phone from the table and you watch her something type out before she eyes at your device, signaling that she just texted you.

Jas: I need alcohol after this day. Want to have a drink with me after work?

Y/N: YES PLEASE!!!!!!!

You see her smile at her screen before both of you return to your boss at the front, talking about a possible upcoming case.

“And last but not least, I want to take a moment to bring light to the excellent work Y/N, our new full-time colleague did on the Santiago case. The police were highly satisfied with the fast and precise work you did. This was your first official case since you’ve decided to accept our offer to become a full member of our team and transferred from your position as a trainee. Congrats!” William, your boss nods in your way with a proud smile as a round of applause cheers for you from your colleagues.

“You go girl!” Jasmine mouths you from across the table and you just chuckle shaking your head.

The meeting finally wraps up and everyone goes on with their day. You are walking back to your office with Jasmine by your side. Your offices are next to each other and you started working here just three weeks apart. She is the same age as you and was approached the same way as well, it’s just that she moved all the way from Australia. The two of you have grown quite close, starting a new life at the same time in a foreign country, it easily brought you together.

“So are we leaving early for those drinks or what?” she asks poking your side.

“How early?”

“I don’t know, like fifteen minutes? Come on, it’s Friday, everyone leaves early!” You shake your head chuckling at her. She can be so restless sometimes, but it’s just the right amount that she can push you out of the comfort zone just enough.

“Alright.”

“Cool, I’ll come banging on your door,” she winks at you before disappearing for her usual coffee break.

It’s two in the afternoon, you still have a few hours ahead of you and some caffeine sounds perfect actually. Though the coffee at the office is excellent, you’ve grown to like this small place nearby, a family owned business that offers the best you’ve ever had.

You grab your bag from your office and head out for a quick coffee run. The walk to the café is freshening, the weather has been treating you well lately, the Sun is beaming and you can only hope you won’t wake up to pouring rain the next morning.

You think back to how lost you were feeling just a year ago, when all of this around you were so new and a little too much at once. One month into your time in London you even thought about quitting and moving back home. You felt alone and broken, yearning after everything you left behind. Your friends, family, loved ones, everything that was so far away from you.

It took you long weeks, even months to get used to your new life and now you can’t even imagine yourself anywhere else. It doesn’t miss you don’t miss terribly the life you had still, but now you have a lot to be happy about here as well.

Waiting at a crossroad, you find yourself twirling around the strawberry ring on your finger, your thumb fidgeting with it like every time you think about your home. You glance down at it and take a deep breath before the lamp turns green and you continue your walk to the café.

It’s not rush hours so there are only a few people lingering around the small place. You don’t have to think about what you are getting, James, the barista already knows your usual and starts making it right away as you swipe your card paying your drink.

You stand at the side, waiting for your coffee, staring out the window, watching people pass by on this lovely afternoon. Your gaze stops on an old lady sitting on a nearby bench, feeding a group of pigeons and you smile as a little girl runs through the birds, making them fly away instantly. The old lady just smiles at the girl, not holding a grudge that she just scared the birds away.

Your eyes move away, watching businessmen come and go, kids going home from school, wearing their school uniforms, everything just feels so… peaceful.

You are almost about to turn away from the window when your gaze falls on a tall figure near the Sainsbury’s across the road and your lips part as you catch a glimpse of a tattooed arm you know all too well. You blink once, twice, three times, waiting for your eyes to make sure it’s the person you think it is.

Harry is standing right there, holding a little bag of groceries, eyes glued to the screen of his phone, oblivious to your shocked gaze on him. Your feet move before your brain could think it through, they take you out of the café and you stand in the middle of the sidewalk as you call out for him.

“Harry!”

His head snaps up at his name, eyes looking around, searching for the source before they finally find you, a shocked, but seemingly joyful expression plastering over his handsome face. He is quick to shove his phone into his pocket before he watches both ways and runs across the road to meet you on the other side. You can’t push your smile down as you watch him approach you, his tall, fit figure getting closer and closer until he is standing right in front of you, watching you in awe.

“Hey,” he breathes out, both of you a little unsure of what to do, how to greet each other.

It’s been months since you last talked. After your departure you kept in contact, you couldn’t just distance yourself from him so abruptly, but the thousands of miles between the two of you made it almost impossible to maintain a working connection, the time zones, all the work you both were buried under and just life itself made you drift away from each other.

But he is now standing in front of you and though he looks slightly different, he is still the Harry you know and love. He is your Harry.

“What… what are you doing here?” you ask, finally finding your voice.

“Did you forget I’m British?” you teases you and you roll your eyes.

“I mean, are you visiting family or something?”

“I uhh…” he glances down at his feet before his eyes meet yours again. “I’m actually back.”

“What do you mean?”

“My contract ended in July and I didn’t… I didn’t extend it. I came back a few weeks ago.”

Your lips part at the information. Harry is in London, he is now in the same city as you, for the first time in a whole year.

“Really? That’s… wow.” There’s too much you want to tell and ask him, yet you stand there, blinking at him, still lost in the feeling of seeing him for the first time again.

“I actually wanted to contact you when I got back, but I wasn’t… I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that,” he admits with a nervous chuckle and your eyes soften over him.

“What do you mean? I would have loved it if you called.”

“It’s just that we haven’t talked in a while and I didn’t know… I didn’t know where you’re standing about me.”

“Well, seems like fate did it for you,” you smile at him warmly. “I would love to catch up. I have to head back to work now, but maybe later?”

“What about after work? When are you getting off?”

“I finish at 5.”

“I can meet you at your work if you text me the address.”

“That would be great,” you nod smiling. “My number is still the same, so you’ll know it’s me.”

“Great,” he nods, the corners of his mouth curling up in a boyish smirk. You are just now realizing how much you’ve missed him.

“I, um…” You’re trying to find the right words, still feeling overwhelmed about the sudden run-in, but at last you decide to go for a hug.

Your arms wrap around his waist, he hesitates for a moment before wrapping you in his tight embrace, pressing his cheek against the top of your head. A shiver runs down your spine as the sense of home washes over you all at once, the warmth of Harry’s body making your heart flutter. Unfortunately, the moment must come to an end. His arms fall from around you, just like they did at the airport when you said goodbye to each other over a year ago.

“I’ll… see you later then,” he smiles as you are backing towards the entrance of the café.

“Yeah, later,” you nod and turning around you walk inside.

Arriving back to the office you drop by Jasmine’s office to tell her that you have to postpone your plans after work.

“What is more important than getting drunk with me?” she gasps dramatically.

“I ran into… I met Harry,” you tell her. You told her all about Harry one evening when you were out, just a few months into your stay. It was one of those days when you were feeling extremely homesick, or maybe you just missed him terribly.

“What? Your professor ex?” she asks with widened eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, you are forgiven. Go and get the man back!”

“What?” you chuckle. “We just met after a year, how do you know I want him back? Maybe I just want to catch up with him,” you say, but it’s an obvious and blatant lie and you both know that. Jasmine gives you a look.

“Please, you are still so obviously in love with the man, don’t even try to convince me otherwise.”

You don’t protest, just bite into your bottom lip. You really are in love with him, or the version you knew a year ago. He could be an entirely different person now so you can’t be sure if your feelings are the same about the man you met today.

“Have fun with him and then tell me all about it after, okay?” she beams and you just nod, leaving her to finish her work.

As time is slowly passing by you find yourself growing nervous about seeing Harry. That short little conversation on the street was not enough to calm your nerves. What is he like now? Is he the same? Does he have new hobbies? Is he as happy to see you as you are to see him? What will he think of you? What if he doesn’t like you after all this time?

You try to push the questions to the back of your mind, not wanting to overwhelm yourself too much to the point where you chicken out of seeing him. When you’re on your way down following his text that he is waiting for you in front of the building, you are trying to keep yourself together and remind yourself that it’s just Harry, he might be a little different, but he is still kind of the same.

Luckily, the moment you spot him waiting a few feet away from the entrance, you forget about everything else, he is the only one to exist. He envelopes you in a hug when you arrive, smiling at you warmly.

“Hi, ready to go?” he kindly asks and you nod.

You settle for a nearby bar you’ve actually been to with Jasmine before. Harry insists on paying for the first round of drinks as the two of you settle in a secluded booth at the back. When he is standing at the bar you catch yourself watching him in awe. The situation is quite odd, could have never happened probably back home, the two of you casually out for a drink.

“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks upon returning, sitting across you.

“I was just thinking how this is the first time we are out, just the two of us.”

Harry smiles softly, probably appreciating it just the same.

The next couple of hours you both try to share anything and everything that has happened in the past year. He tells you about his last year as a professor and him not extending his contact. Coming back to London he has joined a research group for a marketing company, using his excellent knowledge to analyze human behavior in connection with different type of ads.

“It’s a lot different from being a college professor ain’t it?” you tease him and he nods chuckling.

“Guess I wanted some change. But it’s been nice, I enjoy doing a lot of research and experiments.”

Then you tell him about your time as a forensic document examiner, all the different cases you worked on and how it has been, living in London on your own. He listens to your tales about everything you’ve done with Jasmine, the concerts and karaoke bars you’ve been to and just generally your life overseas.

“Sounds like you’ve found your place, then,” he says smiling softly.

“I guess. Wasn’t an easy transition, but I’m feeling good now,” you nod. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my past,” you add.

His eyes wander down to your hands that are fidgeting with your almost empty glass. You see how they stop over the ring and he seems surprised as he reaches out, takes your hand in his and runs his thumb over the little strawberries.

“You’re still wearing the ring,” he states.

“Of course,” you smile and when he is about to let go of your hand, you grab it and hold it, needing to feel his touch.

You wanted to run back home so many times because you were missing him too badly, missed his voice, his eyes, his touch, everything and now, out of nowhere, he is here with you again, far away from the place where it all started and had to end for a while, still making you feel like home, no matter where you are.

At one point, you move to sit beside him in the booth. You just keep sharing and sharing even things you’ve talked about on the phone before. You’re just soaking each other in. His arm soon moves around your shoulders and you gladly lean into his side, placing a hand to his thigh, sparkles running through your body.

“I love this,” you hum to yourself upon finishing your last drink.

“Love what?”

“Being out with you without a worry. I always dreamt of this and it’s just… so natural. I wish we got to experience it before.”

“As you said, that was a wrong time and place. Wasn’t our fault.”

You lift your head, eyes meeting his curious green irises as he smiles down at you kindly. You’ve missed that smile, it still makes your heart skip a beat, just like at the beginning.

“And do you think it’s the right time and place now?” you prompt the question.

“It’s definitely… better,” he chuckles softly. “Unless you are seeing someone, because now would be the best time to tell me.”

“I’m not,” you shake your head smirking. “Tried to go on dates, but truth is… none of them were you. I gave up after a few terrible attempts.”

“I didn’t even try,” he shyly smiles. “I just… knew no one would make me as happy as you did. As you always do.”

Pushing yourself up a bit, you rest your forehead against his as he closes his eyes, his arm around your shoulder tightens and his other hand rests on your thigh, pulling you closer. Your palm slides up his chest and neck until you’re cupping his cheek. You place a soft lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, testing the waters out, seeing how he reacts though nothing that happened tonight tells you he wants to keep his distance.

He moves his face, nose nudging against you before his lips find yours in a kiss you’ve been longing for since you left him behind at the airport over a year ago. Your fingers lace through his hair, pulling him towards you as if he could escape from your hold any moment, but he is definitely here to stay. Your lips clash again and again, savoring each other, eagerly trying to make up for the time you lost since your departure. You melt into his arms, moving your legs across his lap as he pulls you to his lap in the booth, partially hidden from the rest of the bar, wrapped up in your little bubble. He tastes like home, his kisses feel like the first warm rays of sunshine after a long and cold winter, the only thing you couldn’t really get yourself over this whole year. Because you’ve become good at pushing your feelings down to the point where you could easily carry on, but he was always in the corner of your mind, making you wonder if you’ll ever meet again and if you do, will it be the same as before?

It’s not, because it’s better. The burdens and banters that tied you both down a year ago are now long gone, you have all the time and space in the world, nothing is restricting you. You can touch him and kiss him whenever and wherever you want. There’s no more sneaking around, no one here knows who you are and who Harry used to me to you. Here, you’re just another lovesick couple, so into each other it’s almost insane.

When he pulls back his forehead stays rested against yours as you both are trying to catch your breath. His hand runs up and down your thigh, the warmth of his palm melting your body under his soft touch.

“I love you,” he breathes out, eyes meeting yours.

“You still do?” you ask with a small smile, heart beating in your throat.

“I never stopped loving you,” he admits and you let out a shaky breath, pulling him down for a short kiss.

“Not even when I was an ocean away from you?”

“No,” he chuckles shaking his head. “If that’s possible, I loved you even more when you were away. I realized how much you mean to me and I could only hope you weren’t moving on without me.”

“I could never,” you smile at him softly. “I love you too much to do that.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you say that,” he breathes out with a soft chuckle and you kiss his lips shortly, assuring him that you feel the same way. “So… are we going to try again?”

“Do you want to?”

“There’s nothing I want more, baby,” he truthfully admits, his gaze softening at you as he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you want to?”

“Of course,” you smile at him widely. “I think it’s settled.”

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