#and that i can communicate clearly throughout this process

[bluesidedown]

....

[therealsaintscully]

Paul's body language listening to Beautiful Boy and what I think is Paul's greatest tragedy

I had to capture Paul's body language while listening to Beautiful Boy as one of his choices on Desert Island Discs in 1982. He says the song is 'very moving' for him—you can listen to the whole thing here and watch the actual video captured in these gifs here.

Desert Island Discs is a radio programme, so I wonder if Paul wasn’t expecting cameras, or perhaps he knew there would be one but wasn’t prepared for his own emotional response once the song started playing. His body language is incredibly poignant to watch, and while I'm no expert, this feels like the rawest I've ever seen him captured on film, even more so than the most difficult parts of Get Back/Let It Be.

It starts when the songs starts playing: his eyes are everywhere, and he puffs his cheeks and bites his lips. He clearly knows the lyrics, you can tell througout this video that he does, but he keeps himself from singing along out loud.

Then, when John sings, “And your daddy’s here,” he puffs his cheeks again and fully turns his back to the camera to collect himself, flicking his hair, and starts rocking back and forth.

His eye are EVERYWHERE at that point, with some more hair flicks. Also, you can't hear in the gif, but there's a second or two of him tapping along with his hands on a table or his thighs, perhaps in discomfort or a nervious tick, and then he stops.

And just when you think he’s composed himself, he turns his back to the camera again and stays like that for a good while. To clarify, the show’s host is sitting right next to him, shoulder-to-shoulder and elbow-to-elbow on Paul’s right, but Paul is clearly avoiding eye contact and communication altogether.

This continues for several more seconds until John sings, “It’s getting better and better.” That's a hint to Paul's own line from Sgt. Pepper, I think we can all agree to that. Then, the camera operator—perhaps taking pity or simply doing their job well—pans the camera and focuses on something even more telling; after tapping along and swiveling, he's now hugging himself.

And that's when the camera cuts, thankfully. I can imagine this is exactly how he must have spent hours in the early eighties, listening to Double Fantasy and the Real Love/Free as a Bird/Now and Then demos and taking it all in.

And herein lies what I think is Paul's greatest tragedy: if, as he's claimed for decades, they were never knowingly or consciously romantically or physically involved while John was alive, I wonder if the understanding of what they actually had crept up on him after John's death, especially in moments like these. It could be argued that it's reflected in songs and lyrics throughout his solo career—a progression of moments, memories, and conversations, all deciphered and processed in a new light.

How heartbreaking.

[abnomi]

EVERY REASON (that i can think of) AS TO WHY TURBO/KING CANDY IS NEURODIVERGENT 💥💥

i would like to make a disclaimer first and foremost about the obvious, being that Turbo/King Candy is heavily implied to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Very often, characters with these disorders are portrayed as villains, and Turbo is no exception to this. There's nothing wrong with antagonistic characters having said disorders, per se, but when the only representation available for people with these conditions are found in characters you're not supposed to root for, it can be really disheartening. i won't be erasing these parts of him because i feel it would be in poor taste to gloss over those core elements of who he is, but plz keep in mind that having any kind of personality disorder doesn't make anyone inherently evil!!!🌞 your ACTIONS make you, not your brain

Also if anyone has any suggestions or other ideas for his neurodiversity, i would love to hear them! please do share!! I LOVE PSYCHOANALYZING CHARACTERS AND HEARING OTHER PEOPLE PSYCHOANALYZE THEM !!!! YAY🎉 if u agree or disagree with any of my points I'd love to discuss them further :-]

without further ado... click read more to find out…😈 be ready for a lot of reaches

💥 ADHD 💥

STIMMING

Turbo's constantly moving around in some way; he's a very expressive character! even as King Candy, he can't seem to conceal his frequent giggling. it's a big habit of his; he seems to do it involuntarily to regulate himself, including when he's nervous or uncomfortable.

he seems to display other repetitive behaviors as well, like doing his iconic thumbs-up pose, sticking out his tongue, or hopping around gleefully. he is but a jovial court jester..

i personally like to think that his phrases, "Turbo-tastic!" and "Have some candy!" are vocal stims of his, although i equally really love the interpretation that these (and the aforementioned stims) are tics :-]

another headcanon; i think it would make a lot of sense for him to have an oral fixation of some sort (ignoring the whole sigmund freud part of the term ermm...); just lots of biting, chewing, needing to have something in his mouth. It would align with the whole idea that he smokes, too

HYPERACTIVITY

we can clearly see throughout the film that Turbo has a lot of energy, made abundantly clear by his mannerisms and general behavior. he's constantly moving, using exaggerated expressions and gestures to communicate + express himself. He's one of the most animated and bouncy characters in the movie, next to Vanellope! it's silly how a character not very grounded in reality is such a threat, but i suppose that's what makes him so threatening in the first place...

another factor in this is how he is very adrenaline-seeking, craving activities that give him a rush (sugar rush...😂😂). more on that in a bit!!

HYPERFIXATION

Turbo's fixation with winning is all-consuming for him; it's an obsession. he doesn't appear to care about much else, if anything besides it. this could be interpreted as a hyperfixation for him (or special interest if ur all about that autism lifestyle), as it overtakes all of his focus and impedes every process of his mind.

it's clear that racing is much more than a passion for him, and while that fact is due to how he was programmed, it's a major character trait of his regardless that could be correlated to neurodivergence.

HYPERFOCUS

There seems to be a big theme of "all or nothing" when it comes to Turbo. he will either be fully dedicated to something or brush it aside without a second thought. it can't be denied that he fully wraps himself up in what he wants, whether it's a conflict he can't let go of or a new pursuit he's hungrily chasing after. 

ultimately, his dedication varies depending on if it is relevant to him and his interests or not, but this aspect of him still shares patterns with neurodivergent thought processes.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Seeing as he has a tendency to cheat in his use of code to spawn in whatever his heart desires, it can be assumed that this could do with Turbo wanting instant gratification to fill that bitter, empty void inside of him. while this could simply be brushed aside as greed and his belief that he is obligated to have access to whatever he wants, this trait is consistent with his generally dopamine-seeking behavior and wanting to be instantly rewarded by his actions. His obsession with needing to feel good directly relates to his need for another buzz, constantly after the next rush. (a sugar rush if you will☺☺☺)

ADRENALINE-SEEKING

Closely related to the previous speculation, Turbo always seems to be chasing his next high. he loves the thrill of action and being surrounded by crowds of people below him. it's why his big thing is racing! people cheer him on, he can do whatever he wants, he can go really fast and look cool..

it's possible that a big aspect of why he does this is to distract himself from any kind of pain, because pain = vulnerability. bro does NOT know how to independently cope with his own problems.. HE MAD AS HELLLLL!!! 😂😂

STRUGGLE WITH SELF CARE

(i know this is reaching but bear with me... 🐻) going off of his appearance and tendency to make poor decisions, it can be gathered that this man lacks skill in the self care department. his yellowing teeth and sunken eyes not only serve to complement his design, but also give way to the idea that he neglects himself in favor for whatever weird scheme he's up to.

of course, Turbo does prioritize himself above everyone else, but he doesn't strike me as the type to care much about how others think he smells. him being a bother to anyone isn't a concern of his. he cares about whatever gets him the most praise and attention from as many people as possible, which is winning and racing. Who cares about how clean he is when he's up on a podium holding a shiny, golden trophy, anyway?

It's likely that he had to step his game up when he went under disguise as king candy, which is why he looks well-groomed in comparison to his more corpse-like appearance. Ugly hoe. it can also be assumed that he's had more time to focus on himself because everyone loves him without question... Well, except for Vanellope, but who cares about her, right?

also, i know he makes a condescending comment to Ralph about how bad his breath smells, but it's made abundantly clear that Turbo is a massive hypocrite. his comment doesn't erase the possibility that he has suffered from such "halitosis" as well.

💥 ANXIETY 💥

GENERAL ANXIOUS BEHAVIOR

i know, i know, this could technically be chalked up to be "Turbo is nervously giggling and shit because he's scared of getting caught," but guys. g

even in the flashback scene, we can see how easily stressed he can become in an alarmingly short period of time. he is extremely insecure, therefore i am led to believe he is not only emotionally dysregulated, but also by extension, anxiety ridden.

yes, this is purely speculative, but who's to say that he wasn't like this before? being high-strung and intense are significant facets of his personality consistently portrayed throughout the film. as long as he is getting exactly what he wants, he is happy; the moment he loses even a blip of control, however, he immediately grows extremely tense.

if Turbo wasn't anxious about his disguise as King Candy before, he was anxious about how much attention he was receiving on a given day. if not that, then he'd be anxious over how he presents himself. He hates how he can't control how other people perceive him, which is why he is constantly trying to act like he's better than he is.

its why he justifies his behavior to himself, proudly making others refer to him as the "rightful ruler" of sugar rush and relishing in the attention of his countless underlings. Any secure and stable person would NOT ACT LIKE THIS!!!!😭😭😭

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

As we can see a handful of times on screen, Turbo's instinct to protect himself is very easily activated.

 his fear manifests in anger and aggression. we can see at multiple points how easy it is to upset him or fluster him; his anger is one side of the same coin, the opposite end being his fear and paranoia.

Going off of this point, have you noticed that Turbo is either satisfied or furious without much of an in-between? how the second something isn't under his manipulation, he lashes out and fights back? I'm led to believe that this is how he responds to fear (AAUAAYAUUUUGGHHH 🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡). This guy is so against the idea of being vulnerable, that even when afraid, he will utilize violence to regain his dominance over the situation at hand.

CONTROL + PARANOIA

Turbo's always trying to writhe or fight his way out of uncomfortable situations, unable to exist outside of his comfort zone for seconds at a time.

his defensive, paranoid, and controlling behavior are all reflections of how deeply insecure this man is. He feels such an intense need for everything to go exactly how he expects it to go that the moment he senses any kind of threat, he instantly jumps to defend himself and what he feels that he has "earned," regardless of whether there truly is a threat or not.

this could potentially be a coping mechanism for his anxiety and sense of stability; can't forget to mention how territorial he is!! he jumps to conclusions about what others' intentions are before they even get a chance to reply, as seen with his first encounter with Ralph in the movie. 

the racer is so internally discombobulated that he seeks any sense of stability on his environment, including on those around him. his sense of self is so warped that he copes with constant distraction; being under the spotlight, being actively racing, having to be showered with attention, having others make him feel good because he doesn't know how to do it for himself. he needs to feel like everything is under control, lest everything falls apart.

"...if there's ONE thing I can't abide, it's ANYTHING out of order!"

💥 NPD 💥

INFLATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE

Turbo's most in-your-face trait above all else. It's made more than crystal clear in every scene he's in that his arrogance is a determining factor in how he interacts with others. This is exactly what drives him to desperately crave admiration, to chase after others he's envious of because he thinks he is obligated to take what they have.

he seems to genuinely think he is entitled to get whatever he wants, just because he is inherently "special" or "better" than everyone else. Why else would he have made himself a king, a step above princess?

EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION

Turbo's self worth is COMPLETELY dependent on the opinions of children and teenagers. I think i don't need to say any more than that, but i will. (Evil).

As cartoonishly massive as his ego is, i think that it's fair to assume that Turbo has a very unstable sense of self, distorting his perception of his own worth down with it. his near-constant flaunting and need to be the best is a dead giveaway to his deeply-ridden self-doubt. The foundation of his stability is built around how "good" he is (at racing and winning), how powerful he is, whether or not he is being prioritized above everyone else, whether or not he is the absolute best, etc. etc.

The racer outright manipulates others to shower him with admiration and undeserved appreciation. He is incapable of forming a true sense of internal value, instead heavily and codependently relying on others to form it for him. if he isn't the best, he may as well just be nothing.

INTENSE JEALOUSY

He reacts so severely to what he perceives as others taking away what is rightfully his that it only goes to solidify my previous points even further. the second someone else is getting more attention than him, Turbo will bend over backwards to rip back the praise he believes he so rightly deserves.

being extremely competitive, he will one-up against anyone he thinks of as a threat, dedicating himself to taking them down to the best of his ability, and making sure they STAY down to top it all off.

INABILITY TO HANDLE CRITICISM

if we really dissect the entire one-off joke with Turbo insisting that his stolen pink castle is actually "salmon," along with all of his other domineering behaviors, we can garner that he is very persistent in how he wants others to view him. i wholeheartedly believe that this would translate into him not only being defensive over his supposed "ownership" of Sugar Rush, but also over himself and his own insecurities.

He needs to feel good about himself or else he will die and quite literally try to kill everyone.

LACK OF EMPATHY

He appears to have a fondness for making jokes in very poor taste. Turbo has a big sense of humor, but it's always at the expense of others. Be it a pun about a "fungeon," or jumping to protect himself with a joke about "hitting a guy with glasses," he has a tendency to take serious situations very lightly. It's not that he's unaware of the weight of it; he simply doesn't take it Seriously.

its admittedly impressive how he was able to feign empathy so well for Ralph; it goes to show how he is very capable of understanding that what he's doing is wrong, but ultimately does nothing to change his behavior because it doesn't impact him personally. 

i would like to honor this part of him, because even in the possible alternate path of a redemption arc, his struggle with empathy can be explored in a variety of interesting ways :-] he can understand complicated emotions and situations on an analytical level, but he doesn't feel for them unless it has to do with him specifically. (this obviously doesn't make him inherently evil, his ACTIONS make him evil)

💥 ASPD 💥

LACK OF REMORSE/GUILT

One of Turbo's core characteristics is just how far he is willing to go for his own self-interest with lack of regard for how it impacts everyone else. he has absolutely no concern for how anyone else feels besides himself, willing to go so far as to attempt to mutilate a 9-year-old to achieve his petty goals.

Turbo is shameless when it comes to how he goes about getting his way. While I'd like to believe he isn't fully incapable of feeling regret, he doesn't showcase feeling it in the movie itself. The most regret he'll feel is when he slips up and exposes himself. anything else is the fault of everyone else; he is untouchable in his eyes.

DECEITFUL TENDENCIES + LYING

Where do i even start with this one.

well, first of all, let's acknowledge the... erm, horse? in the room? 🐎😅(Please someone help me there is a horse in my room help helphel) being that Turbo went under disguise as King Candy for at least a decade. Even before this, there's a good chance that he's already had plenty of experience with lies and manipulation. i'd be willing to bet on this!!

one of his specialties is being proficient in manipulation, be it the code of games or the minds of people. theyre basically the same thing to him, anyway... I'm sure you all know the scene where he uses 16 manipulation tactics against Ralph and wins. this was Obviously not the first time he'd done this.

REPETITION OF HARMFUL BEHAVIORS

Time and time again, Turbo can't seem to help himself when it comes to poor decision-making. he never internalizes that his bad choices aren't JUST bad for others, but also for himself, continuing to escalate further and further into very dangerous behaviors until he literally dies.

Here's a list of bad decisions he has made! (at least, that we know of)

Pinning himself above his peers

Harassment + stalking

Carelessly charging through GCS with his car, endangering countless civilians

Attempting to take over a game that isn't his x2

Vehicular manslaughter

Implied mass murder + attempted murder, attempted mutilation

Mass endangerment

Breaking and entering, theft, usurpation, plagiarism

and more!!!!!!!

AND HE LEARNS FROM ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS!!! with some of the items listed here, he's attempted to do multiple times! Absolute buffoon.

RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR SAFETY OF SELF AND OTHERS

Considering how he was willing to charge into a game that wasn't his own with the awareness that it could permanently kill him, going as far as to recklessly crash into another car (albeit it's possible this was unintentional), it's easy to gather that he doesn't seem to consider anyone's safety at all in the spur of the moment.

IMPULSITIVITY

his impulsivity and disregard for safety both go hand-in-hand. When it gets to a certain point, Turbo's emotions will boil over and blow up in a cold rage, thus causing him to spiral and act on impulse, becoming a detrimental force to himself as well as everyone around him.

What's interesting is how much restraint he is capable of; he typically is very strategic in how he orchestrates his plans! but once he reaches his breaking point, he snaps and leaves all of his hard work behind in favor of something that calls for his immediate attention.

💥 ETC. 💥

extra tidbits i didnt have enough energy to fully delve into :-]

BPD

Fear of abandonment

Blurry sense of identity

Feelings of emptiness

Self destructive tendencies

Emotional instability

Explosive anger

ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

He seems so infatuated with his own autonomy that he gets to the point of being resistant and defiant

Resisting against the rules of the world that he directly caused as a result of his own actions, being that one shouldn't "go Turbo."

Enjoys upsetting/getting a rise out of others. this is more speculative as i am going off of the assumption that he thinks pissing people off is funny, based on his other behavioral patterns. (cruel sense of humor, wanting to feel above others via control & manipulation, enjoyment of inflicting pain onto others)

Forcefully defends himself and refuses any kind of criticism

Lashes out when he feels slighted

Excessive persistence despite all odds, whether it's beneficial to him or not

ok bye!! thank you if you managed to read this far ^^ peace and love take care of yourself! all in all turbo is so neurodivergent ok please Okay <3 get this thing his meds

[ayeforscotland]

What is Dataflow? Part 3: Doing the Practical

Apologies for the delay in getting this next section up - past few weeks have been super busy and then, hilariously, I was ill last week.

Read Part 1 here.

Read Part 2 here.

In Part 2 I wrote about how important diagrams have been throughout history. Understanding the 'big picture' has been important for every triumph of engineering. From bridges to skyscrapers to oil rigs and wind turbines, all of these have had diagrams backed by international standards which enabled them to be built.

The digital world hasn't quite managed that yet. In the other posts I've tried to drill home the point that modern digital businesses are often extremely siloed, communication and documentation isn't there and there is a lack of a common language between 'Business' and 'IT'.

This lack of understanding means organisations do not understand how data flows through their business and their supply chain.

It's the understanding of dataflow that's important here because it enables organisations to focus on optimising, securing and maintaining flows across an organisation rather than siloed teams patching things up where they can and not understand the upstream and downstream impact on the business.

Method and Layers

Going to preface this by saying that this may come across as complete common sense, and to some extent you'll be completely correct!

This is an example of how to create a very basic dataflow. But I will first start with understanding all of the People, Processes and Technology that I use to post on Tumblr.

So I start with six layers:

Ownership

Business Process

Application

System

Hardware

Infrastructure

What is important to remember here is that you do not have to be a specialist in every single layer.

A Business Analyst will feel much more at home in the Business Process Layer, while an Infrastructure Manager will be much more knowledgeable about the Infrastructure layer.

The important thing is that this Business & IT Diagram allows them to communicate more efficiently.

Let's Build a Dataflow!

In this example - There's an 'AyeforScotland' Element (the rectangle!) at the top. I'm the owner of everything below that element. The black lines are 'connections' representing the connectivity between the different elements.

Following the example, I'm responsible for' managing my blog 'Blog Management' which breaks down into smaller processes: Draft posts, schedule posts, answer anon abuse, and reblog shitposts.

Coming down to the Application Layer (red) - You can see that I draft and schedule posts using Tumblr Desktop and I'm using Firefox Web Browser for that.

But for answering anon abuse and reblogging shitposts, I'm using the Tumblr App.

In the Systems layer you can see I'm using Windows 11 on my PC (Hardware) and I'm using iOS on my iPhone.

Both my PC and iPhone connect to my BT Router.

And that's it for this Business & IT Diagram. I've shown clearly how I'm responsible for the processes and how I use the technology to perform those processes. I don't necessarily need to show everything on a single diagram because it would lose clarity.

This next Business & IT Diagram is much smaller, and establishes the relationships and dependencies on Tumblr to provide the service. And that's because we're complying with the laws and rules of a methodology.

In this diagram (probably need to zoom in to see it) I'm at the top left as 'AyeforScotland' and my 'BT Router' is spatially below me. Following the rules and laws of the method, that maintains the relationship that I have with the BT Router, I own it.

But I don't own the small 'Internet' that's next to it horizontally. I've simplified the concept of the internet for this example.

There's also two owners - 'Automattic' which owns and operates 'Tumblr' below it, with Tumblr being responsible for the 'Provision of Tumblr Services'.

Now naturally 'provision of Tumblr services' will break out into loads of sub-processes. Tumblr could map out their entire organisation (and if they need a hand, they can DM me!) But for this dataflow it's not really required.

Now both diagrams above are not dataflows. But close your eyes for a second and you can visualise what they are.

But because we've created our two diagrams, we understand the connectivity and using the software we can create the dataflow.

Now again, this is very basic. But when you put things into a dataflow context, you can put this down in front of a wide range of people from different business disciplines and they can start to optimise how the business works.

Here's a much larger Dataflow example, that you won't be able to read because it exceeds A0 printing size, but it should convey the scale.

If any of the connections or elements fail along this dataflow - The dataflow stops.

This costs organisations time and/or money.

So understanding dataflows allows IT people to articulate to business people "Hi boss, if this server goes down it will bring down this dataflow and cost the business $10,000 an hour" - Suddenly it's in a language they understand.

It helps with strategic decision-making, it helps with communication, it helps document how things *actually* work as opposed to how people think they work, and once you switch to thinking in terms of 'dataflow' it's hard to stop.

Conclusion

I can't wait to answer all the questions on the back of this.

Also one area I didn't go into is that each of the elements (rectangles) can also hold data (Financial data, Technical Specs, Risk & Cybersecurity metrics, Governance documentation etc).

It's also really easy to get started with it. You can start in any of the layers based on your area of work.

[n0tamused]

Hello

Would you feel comfortable writing about periods?

If so I wanted to request Jiyan and Mortefi comforting reader during one

Thank you in advance ^^

A/N: Thank you for the request! I went with writing hcs for this, since those are easier to get done. So I do hope you like them anon :)

Jiyan:

-He is not around too much to really be in tune with your cycles but he is no stranger to them. He was raised by his mother who was a medic and not really the person to evade the subject simply because he was a boy

-When he is around and not fighting Tacet Discords or some other beast out there, he will be tending to you. Be it by spending time with you, holding you as you sleep or holding hands as you browse the market down the street - he needs to make up for all the lost time while he was away

-For this specific scenario, Jiyan wouldn’t need much verbal confirmation from you that you’re on your period. He sees the way you hold one hand over your belly and sees the even more obvious - blood stains on the sheets.

-You won’t find any judgment from him, he doesn’t think twice before he’s already looking for new sheets to change the bed while you’re in the bathroom. This man has seen far worse things to even be made to raise a brow at a little bit of blood on the blankets. 

-Doesn’t make any fuss about it and asks whether you’d like him to prepare you anything to help with cramps or if you’d like a massage. And he is quick to tell you to lay down on the bed or sit at the dining table if you choose one or the other. Jue knows he’s tired as hell so when he sees you dozing off after taking medicine or getting your muscles worked out by his calloused big hands, he’s right there with you

-If you’d allow him, he’d spoon you and keep one hand on your abdomen. Sometimes he does it unconsciously too while cuddling, and the warmth of his hand definitely brings comfort and some ease from the aching pain there

-If you happen to be low on any hygiene products he can get them for you - although he will ask a lot about your preferred brands. If they don’t have X product, will Z product work for you? Or maybe a Y product? etc..

-Should you be feeling really emotional due to the wonders of a period, Jiyan is quite cautious to not upset you, and may lack in words a bit, offering you more silence if he sees that’s what would work for you. If you need reassurance he is there to give it to you too, he does strive for a good balance of everything, but he does prefer to communicate everything clearly. Tell him what you need, what you want him to do, and he is at it. 

-It’s all domestic fluff with this man, he’s really chill and only worries if you’re in huge amounts of pain or if you refuse his help.

-You’re in safe hands if Jiyan is there to help you.

Mortefi:

-May come off as a person that would be disgusted by periods or anything that makes a mess, but he is not.

-Although he does fret or fuss a little over any bloodied sheets or a spot on the couch, he is quick to reassure you it’s not your fault - In a nutshell, it comes off like he’s angry at your uterus or pads for letting it all out rather than you. You can’t help it

-He cleans it all up on his own, no one else can do it as perfectly as he needs it all to be

-Doesn’t mind if you stay in bed for longer, and he makes it a point to check up on you throughout the day, even if it happens to be a work day for him, he will make time to walk back home or at least send you a text or give you a call just to make sure you’re doing well

-Doesn’t let you eat much, or any, fast processed food. Instead you get to indulge into even more of his own cooking!

-Besides his favorites - deserts of all sorts - he is not half bad at making good, healthy dishes that hold an abundance of all things good for you

-It’s like having your own personal chef, and he surely does not disappoint. If you happen to be craving something specific and there’s not a food out there that encapsulates that taste, he figures out a new dish just for you

-He would love it if you were at the dining table while he was making all these foods because he loves to talk to you and hear you talk to him, it gives him time to remind you in his own way that he cares

-It feels like he mothers you at times, but he is sweet for it. Sometimes you may catch his ears being dusted with red blush if he says something more straightforward about these feelings.

-Mortefi would also make sure to bring home quality hygiene products. He’d rather not risk your skin getting irritated, he wants you to be comfortable. He gets you heat bottles too, sometimes he uses them too if he has a stomach ache or a particularly bad headache.

-Not big on cuddles but will indulge you all the way. You just need to slide up to his side and draw his arm over your shoulders and he’s pulling you further in. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[grimm-writings]

YIPPEE YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN AGAIN can i get a scenario where chilchuck slowly falls in love with a gender fluid reader? maybe he’s confused about their presentation at first, but then finds himself attracted to their masc and fem sides :0

two sides of the same coin

…ft! chilchuck x genderfluid! reader

…tags! fluff, end of manga spoilers, implied bisexual chilchuck, the mortifying ordeal of having to explain your identity to someone not in the know

…wc! 935

…notes! this request makes me so happy, because i’m also genderfluid!!! i’ll be using primarily my own experiences with my gender here, so i hope it’s to your liking! happy pride month!!! <3 

“So, you’re… everything.”

“Yes! I guess you can say that.  Although it’s more like it varies.”  Your hands move in the air to communicate your point.  “Sometimes I’m a girl, sometimes a boy.  But I’m also sometimes both, or sometimes neither!  Or maybe I’m partially a girl and partially neither, or I’m partially a boy and partially neither.  And then, on the rare occasion, I am everything!”

You can only watch in real time as Chilchuck slowly loses brain cells.  You’d fear that he may not be able to readily accept you, same as the rest of your party.  The reaction was positive enough (though Marcille and Senshi particularly need time to adapt properly) but there’s still lingering confusion.

Chilchuck slowly nods, though you can tell he isn’t exactly grasping it yet.  “So… What am I meant to call you?”

He’s trying to keep his language respectful.  That’s more than you can say for others you came out to.  You can tell Chilchuck is trying, even if this is unfamiliar ground for him.  He might know enough about different romantic and sexual preferences, and maybe more simple means of gender transition.  Your identity is… hard to explain to someone not in the know, though.

“Just ask,” you reply.  “I might have some indicators in clothing that could help.  Like…”  You gesture towards your current outfit.  “I’m presenting pretty masculine at the moment, yeah?”

“Yeah…” You don’t miss how Chilchuck eyes you up and down.  “So I should keep an eye out for how you dress?”

“Precisely!”  You snap your fingers into a point at Chilchuck’s face.

“Don’t do that.”

You drop your hand.  “Sorry.”

Chilchuck leans back on his seat, folding his arms over his chest.  If he was being honest, this only makes his heart confused.  He was already more used to you presenting masculine throughout your dungeon crawl.  You did express occasional disdain for your current dress, but can’t do much about it.  That in of itself made him wonder if he liked guys.  Now you’re saying you’re a girl sometimes?  Or neither?  Or everything?  He can’t even imagine you in a dress without his mind screaming at him in embarrassment.

You take in Chilchuck’s expression.  Brow furrowed, clearly trying to process your explanation.  He’s definitely accepting of it, just confused.  If there was a way you can explain it better to him…

An idea flashes through your mind with an “ah!”

Chilchuck perks up at your sudden yelp, blinking.  “Something the matter?  Wh– Hey, what are you doing?!”

You had practically scampered on all fours to where your travel bags were, digging around for something.  A few seconds pass before… “GOT ONE!”

Returning to Chilchuck’s side, you hold up one of the gold coins in… someone’s possession.  The half-foot cocks an eyebrow at it.  “What’re you getting at here?”

“This coin is still the same coin when it’s flat in my hand like this,” you begin, before flipping it over.  “Or when it lands on tails.”

Chilchuck watches as you place the coin on your thumb, and flip it up into the air only to let it land randomly, 50/50 chance each time.

“I can’t control whether it lands on heads or tails.  Sometimes it does something really peculiar and stands on its side, or it’s on a slant in some way.”

You watch as the gears turn in Chilchuck’s mind.  “So you can’t really control how your gender works, sometimes you just… feel a certain way?”

“Exactly!  My dysphoria – that’s the term for feeling uncomfortable – can fluctuate, but it’s still the same coin.  It’s still…”

“It’s still you,” Chilchuck finishes, turning his head to look up at you with understanding finally brightening in his eyes.  You can’t help but fluster a little.

It’d be a while since then until you’d make it back to the surface.  Everyone is as accommodating as ever to use the right pronouns when you tell them what for.  It soon comes naturally to just let you live as you are.  It’s welcoming and warm with everyone.

A nice spring breeze blows through your skirt as you make your way down to the entrance of the forest where the feast takes place.  You can spot your party from a mile away, your boots hitting the dirt path as you run over.

“Leave some for me!”  You exclaim in greeting, causing your friends to turn their heads.  Marcille gasps in wonder as she takes in your appearance, meanwhile Izutsumi makes a small noise in surprise.

Chilchuck is stunned into silence, and you can just tell the tips of his ears are going red before he keels over and spits out his drink onto the grass.  “W-What are you wearing?!”

“A dress, Chilchuck,” you quip back, sitting in between him and Marcille.  “Laios still being harassed by Yaad and the rest?”

“Hang on, we’re not moving on from this so fast!  Let me look at you!”  Marcille adjusts herself so she can inspect your look.  “I didn’t think you’d suit a dress so well!  Where’d you get that petticoat?”

You are about to answer when Izutsumi interrupts; “you look so… different,” she relays.

A sheepish chuckle escapes you, as you turn to Chilchuck, who has since been staring at you.  He blinks once you perceive him and glances away.  “You’re still you.  It…  You look very… you. It's nice.��

You can’t help but laugh at his flustered attitude, leaning down to kiss the top of his head as he gives out to you.

You are accepted, and you are loved.  What place could possibly be better than here?

[zeroth-writes]

Care To Hold My Hand? -Zhongli-

masterlist | request

Pairing: Zhongli / Reader

Summary: You and Zhongli explore Lyuie Harbor amidst a crowd of people

Word Count: 687

A/N: this is my first time writing for genshin and writing as zhongli was so stressful, i hope you guys enjoy this.

When Zhongli first approached you with the idea of walking around Lyuie Harbor together, you had mixed emotions on the matter.

On one hand you were excited to finally hear his expert knowledge first hand with visual references instead of just mentally picturing the scenery like you normally do. Going to the locations he spends a majority of time with him instead of sitting on the couch while he relates his day to you.

Yet on the other hand just the idea of being around so many people at once made your stomach churn. The constant state of hustle and bustle in the city was something you still weren't use to. Spending a majority of your youth within the small community of Qingce Village hasn't prepared you for life in a busy city.

"Are you sure this is suitable for you?" Zhongli's gloved hand intertwined within yours as his golden eyes examined the crowd. Since Zhongli had a fairly short workload for the day, you both decided this would be the perfect opportunity.

At the beginning of the day, excitement filled your body. You could visualize sitting at Heyu tea house, sitting next to Zhongli as Liu Su continued on with one of his many stories.

Yet as the hours passed and the time grew closer and closer the joy left leaving anxiety in its wake.

Walking out of the funeral parlor. Eyes glaring down as you follow the taller mans strides. You begin to clearly hear Xingxi speaking with a potential customer. Hearing her reminds you that you should place the order for the tea set you wish to gift Zhongli.

The consultant stop his pace. You follow suit and move to stand beside him. Beginning to ask why, you stop once the sight comes into view.

Everywhere you looked was people.

Restaurant doors opening and closing as people enter and leave. Tiantian talking to different people as she attempted to get recruits. Member of the Millelith questioning civilians.

Not to mention all the ones doing their regular activities - shopping, commuting and just heading home.

The first thought that cones to your mind. Retreat. Your mind goes into a panic as your feet slowly shift backwards - until you feel a hand softly wrap itself around your forearm.

You glance upward to see a pair of golden orbs staring down at you with a concerned look. "Are the people getting to you?"

Without speaking a word, you simply nod in response before moving to stand behind the former Archon.

A deep chuckle filled your ears as, for a split second, a small sense of relaxation fills you.

"Maybe there is something i can do to help you with this situation."

His gloved index finger scratched his chin, as if to think of something, before joining his other finger as they were laid out with his palm facing towards the sky.

"Perhaps if you were to hold my hand. The physical contact might help ease the stress and anxiety."

A warming smile graces your face. Once your fingers were interlaced within his yours, you glared back at the crowd.

The older man took the lead and carefully walked you seamlessly throughout the horde of people. You focused on the hand within yours, the cool familiar feeling.

Before you could process it, You were already standing in front of the staircase. Zhongli pulled you to the side before speaking "I'm glad my idea worked. You seemed to handle yourself a lot better this time."

A shy smile rose to your face at the compliment. Before you would reply, a break opened within the ever growing line of people. You and Zhongli quick slip within the gap and make your way up to the tea house.

As the set comes into view, you notice the lack of the story teller but a few tables begin to empty.

You decide to sit down near the back but still with a lovely view of the stage. After ordering your tea, as you sit back and wait for the show to begin, you lean over and whisper "Maybe next time I can lead"

[ofpd]

yes i would love an exr fic rec list ‼️

ok then here are some of my faves & why i like them! putting them in alphabetical order so i don't overthink the order lol

Beautiful & Good by @riotstarruika

possibly the only canon era fic i've read about enjolras and grantaire in a healthy & functional relationship—something that has to be earned in order to be realistic, and this fic earns very well. it explores both characters so interestingly and thoroughly and overall is so lovely to read.

epiphany by Abidatchery

i really love the specific ways in which they fail or refuse to communicate here, but slowly grow to see each other a bit better when forced to by circumstance. this fic also has such a distinct atmosphere that it's both about les amis & all of paris having a wild time, while it slowly focuses more on enjolras and grantaire as they start to be more in their own world with just each other.

Eyes to Serve, Hands to Learn by @myrmidryad

94k words about enjolras and grantaire doing bdsm in really interesting ways & developing their relationship! this fic is what really got me obsessed with exr bdsm & developed my thoughts about it a lot. also i like to refer to it as "enjolras is hot au" bc well he's so much hotter than the celibate & insane about sex & naturally blond enjolras we know from canon lmao

If Truth Is North by @lesamis

who doesn't love a road trip between two people whose thinking and communication styles are fundamentally deeply incompatible! this fic really gets at enjolras and grantaire's psyches in such interesting, nuanced, and insightful ways; they clash so perfectly but slowly begin to understand each other & help each other grow.

Into the Light by AnarchyLuvver69

ok so enjolras and grantaire only really see each other when they die......so what if they became ghosts & processed everything over the course of decades while watching over france

It's Not the Same Anymore by @shamedumpster

i love how much care this fic puts into all the characters and how it balances being quite heavy at times with being heartwarming and loving throughout. also despite its length i've read it over the course of just a couple days multiple times lmao

On the Path to Elysium by @thevagueambition

grantaire characterization of all time to me! he's so assholeish at times and depressed and dysfunctional but clearly deeply caring, especially towards his friends. also an impressively-researched exploration of canon era queerness and all the different ways that les amis relate to it.

Stages Of Light by fallingvoices

the thing about this fic is that it's crazyyy it has the kind of lack of communication between them that i love and the vibes are so off-putting in such a good way and overall well i just really love when authors are brave enough to make them really not work well together except maybe when it comes to sex

You never have to wonder; you never have to ask. by gamesformay

a fic about les amis surviving a modern au version of their failed rebellion and having to figure out what comes next, and enjolras and grantaire having to figure out what their relationship is after having thought for a moment they were going to die together. some really amazing vibes that give the impression that you're reading about a group of friends with real history together and catching a snippet of their lives in paris.

this is just a few of the fics i've really enjoyed; you can check out my bookmarks for more if you'd like!

[akajustmerry]

Hey can u tell me wat race were the thg characters in the books? Was Katniss gale peeta finnick etc not white?

so this is kind of difficult to answer because in the world of the novels, The Dark Times™ whatever they really were clearly were so destructive to the fabric of society that the USA ceased to be what we know it as.

The process not only changed the land itself and how it was governed, but the language used to do that (states become districts, America becomes Panem, etc.). The fascistic government of the Capitol, when you read the books, clearly controls language as much as any other resource. Both Katniss and Snow (the only 2 pov characters in the novels) refer to words that have been forbidden and forgotten. Throughout the books you also come across words that are clearly mutated versions of known words "morphling" is one, which is the word used for what we call morphine.

I say all that to say that the people in the world of these novels, while they still obviously use English, they don't have the same concepts we do now because they've been eroded along with the language itself.

One of the crucial steps to control and oppress a population is deprive them of the ability to conceptualise and communicate that oppression. This is even happening right now wihh right wing governments around the world attempting to outlaw education and content on sexuality, indigenous histories, etc.

I say all this to say that the characters we read the POVs from in the thg novels do not and probably cannot define race in the way that we do now because doing so has been lost and repressed.

BUT!!!! that's not to say that racism does not exist, even though the language to define race is absent. Katniss is described as dark olive skinned, with dark eyes and dark hair. so is gale. I can't direct quote it, but Katniss talks in the early chapters of book 1 about how she is treated differently to her mum and sister who are fair and blonde. specifically, it says people do not warm to her as quickly like they do her sister and mum. Katniss also comments that the Capitol stylists make a mockery of her thick body hair. It's also worth noting she's among the poorest of district 12, living in the Seam. Not for nothing but Katniss also talks about how her father was also dark skinned and knew a lot about native plants.

These things on their own probably wouldn't necessarily point to Katniss being a person of colour, but together they paint a pretty clear picture of someone who experiences racism both systemically and personally even if she can't conceptualise it as that. Due to the fact Katniss' knowledge of plants and animals and carving weapons was passed down to her from her father, many people headcanon her as Indigenous, same for Gale.

As for Finnick? Jury's out. When I read catching fire well before the films came out I thought Finnick was maybe not white because he was described as very tanned and golden and in my experience white people just don't tan that way.

But Suzzanne Collins had very clear subtextual racial commentary in the books. Especially in the demographics of the districts. District 11 is predominantly Black (Katniss describes every D11 person as having typically Black features) and they're the agriculture district, described as the one that does the most physical labour. It's also the first district in the novel main story to do an uprising. And if you think a little bit about that and what Suzzanne Collins was saying with that particular subtext it's a very obvious racial commentary on the legacy of slavery and antiblackness.

Peeta was definitely white. Not only is he described that way physically. But his family is one of the wealthiest in D12 which means they had intergenerational wealth of some kind which it's clear Katniss and Gale did not.

Suzanne Collins is white and I think she did what the best white authors do when writing about race which is to acknowledge it and be realistic without overstepping or pretending to know. I'll forever hate the movies for eliminating that subtext.

[blackautmedia]

Sonic Prime, Nine, Pain and Protection

Sonic Prime Season 3 Spoilers

After watching Sonic prime season 3 it was a real joy to watch. It's certainly not without flaws, but I wanna talk about Nine and how people were reacting to him.

One of Prime's biggest strengths is the sheer amount of expressive faces it uses to indirectly communicate to the viewer. The unspoken storytelling goes a long way.

They emphasize how Nine is laser focused on his ambitions, but his path of trying to convince himself that he can't trust anyone is self-destructive.

He tries his best to hide his pain and assert himself as evil or powerful because Nine is desperate to maintain a sense of control, something that's important to him because his whole life he's only known pain, bullying, physical abuse, and isolation.

The prism itself really takes his toll on him and the show's expressions do not let you forget how much it's hurting him and he can barely hold together. He collapses several time, he grasps his body in pain--this kid was already hurting and he's self-harming in his pursuits.

Sonic even points out how it's destructive to him and throughout the entire fight Sonic genuinely sees Nine for what he is--a scared and deeply hurt boy in a panic and feeling threatened by everyone around him.

I'm pretty sure Sonic was going to point out how the prism power is harming Nine, especially because he points out how much the energy is hurting him shortly after this scene too.

Keep in mind it's not just the strain of using the prism energy.

By this point in the series, Nine was already held prisoner most of season 2. He likely wasn't fed well if at all.

After that, he spends a bunch of time and energy fighting alongside Sonic to escape with the shards. After that, he's having to do more fighting at ghost hill in addition to reassembling the prism.

And then he's doing all of this.

There's a great visual metaphor in Nine's barrier gradually closing in closer and closer until he can't escape having to confront his fears. Toward the end of their big fight, one of the last things Nine does is just form a barrier. Nine is terrified here.

Everyone else sees a traitor they want to get back at, but Sonic is the only one who has seen his vulnerabilities, seen his kinder moments, and sees the humanity in Nine worth saving and fighting for, especially when he's a large part of the cause.

What breaks Nine is that a big part of him is clearly hurt and wants so badly have companionship in his life, something Sonic is still offering him and something that continually breaks Nine's masking:

Notice how dejected and exhausted he is and how his metal tails drop down because he's tired of fighting before steeling his focus again. He's not saying how he can't give up with a look of confidence. He's trying to convince himself there's no other option.

He doesn't want to keep fighting but almost feels compelled to and shifts blame to Sonic because of refusing to process his grief or self-reflecting.

Nine yells at Sonic or cuts him off because he knows how much Sonic's words are cutting through his mask and how he knows that it's getting through to him emotionally. He needs Sonic to shut up so it's emotionally easier to keep fighting. Sonic knows Nine too well for him to be able to maintain a facade.

Nine feels violated that the only love he's ever felt after years of abuse was always seemingly for someone else. He feels that he has no other option than to pursue his ambitions and live a life of painful isolation even if his body and heart are screaming otherwise.

He's desperately trying to convince himself that he can't trust anyone so that it hurts less, he tries to make himself seem powerful and invulnerable, he tries to convince himself that he can only have voiceless machines for companions all to avoid feeling vulnerable and hurt.

He very much does not want to fight and can't keep it up, but he's also overwhelmed with feelings of fear and mistrust.

There's a very cool role reversal in how Sonic and Nine fight each other that becomes apparent throughout the big battle.

Nine is trying desperately to maintain some kind of control and when he's not hurting, he's continually frustrated. Look at how he reacts when things don't go as he predicts and despite his belief that Sonic would rush in, Sonic learns and adapts by relying on someone more experienced than him.

Nine gradually fights more like Sonic--reliant on just his own individual power (or rather the prism's) without slowing down to reflect on his actions--just keep going, just keep pushing. Protect your home. Rush the decay to force Sonic's hand. Gotta go fast.

He targets Sails and Mangey first because the thought of them reminds him of the projection Sonic was doing and he doesn't want to think about it. It also doubles as a way to goad Sonic into acting impulsively, something Sonic wants to do but ends up not going through with.

Meanwhile, Sonic is listening to reason, biding his time, making observations (like the dome shrinking, forming a plan that gives him the upper hand, using the pit to his advantage, etc) and capitalizing on the knowledge he's taking in.

He delegates tasks to other people instead of reacting. He's fighting and thinking like Tails and Nine would, while Nine is acting and fighting more like Sonic would.

I feel the pacing was a lot more tolerable this time compared to prior seasons because while it's one big fight, so much of it represents a gradual change in psyche between Sonic and Nine on top of the other side character moments.

But then Sonic sees the palm tree and finally recognizes Nine's intentions. What makes this scene so great is that Nine makes one last desperate attempt to hold up that same mask he always does. Scare off threats through intimidation. But he's too exhausted.

But then Sonic protects him. People are angry and threatening and attacking Nine (and while the CC isn't justified, everyone else has valid reason to dislike and distrust him) with no recourse. But for the first time in his life, someone stands up for him and protects him.

His brother still is showing him so much love and trust.

and Nine is moved by it. Moved by the endless compassion and brotherly love Sonic still is giving him. Compassion Nine doesn't even feel he deserves after what he's done.

The pained, panicked look as his friend sacrifices him for his mistakes is one of the best shots in the entire season. It's a knife through his heart knowing moments ago he would have willingly sacrificed the only one who showed him so much love.

I'm seeing reactions that people were upset that this was "obvious" when Nine was never trying to be deceitful about his intentions.

The whole reason Sonic and Nine communicate so poorly is made clear in watching the first two seasons. They spend very little time together where they can actually slow down and breathe. They spend almost all of season 2 apart with Nine a prisoner, then they're attacked for two whole episodes before the end when they fall out.

In season 1, they meet, get captured, seize the crystal, get separated, then reunite when Nine makes his offer for the Grim.

There's also this sentiment that Shadow was right about everything and Sonic messed it up--but really, Sonic, Nine, and Shadow were all partially right and wrong.

Sonic genuinely wanted to give Nine a better life, but he also failed to properly listen or communicate with him because he was preoccupied with his own hurt from having destroyed his own home and friends.

Nine does the same thing in how he just assumes Sonic wants what he wants and doesn't contend with how Sonic is hurting too. Both of them are hurting a lot for different reasons. But while they project on each other, they do genuinely love each other too and Sonic specifically argues with Shadow that Nine is real and should be treated as an equal with a stake in their situation.

If they had time where they didn't have a constant threat looming over their heads, their conflicting wants would have gone a lot more smoothly. Sonic could make his case properly and Nine would be a lot more open to see that Sonic not only cares about him, but wants to give him a paradise too.

Shadow is only partially right in that Nine doesn't want the same thing as them, but he believes Nine to be inherently untrustworthy or dismisses the other shatter beings as just fakes or obstacles which fails to get at why Nine is fighting so hard to begin with.

Shadow accuses him of wanting power and Nine agrees, but only in the sense that he's still trying to maintain that control. What he wants is a home, love, and safety.

Shadow routinely dismisses the others as Sonic just being mindlessly sentimental even though they're are a large part of how Sonic even got the shards at all and triumphed.

Sonic could not have succeeded without the others and especially not without Nine. He would have needed a way to extract his own energy and couldn't handle the other shards without Nine's help, Nine's regulators or some kind of cover.

He also would have had his running abilities impaired and that alone would have made things difficult if not impossible. How would he get around the ocean world or search for the shards without Nine's upgrade as a regulator and compass?

How was Sonic supposed to steal the shared from the Chaos Council by himself when his running was affected by the shard energy and he would have had to face that entire army alone? It was difficult to pull off even with the combined strength of five people.

Imagine how heartbreaking it would have been if Sonic agreed to Nine's plan, they try to build the Grim, and Nine learns he needs to sacrifice the brother he fought so hard for.

So not only was it ultimately necessary to work together, Shadow doesn't have the same knowledge Sonic does.

He hasn't seen Nine share his vulnerabilities like he did with Sonic.

He didn't see Nine manipulate the chaos council to protect his friend.

He hasn't seen the joyful Nine who's grown so close to Sonic that he's willing to move heaven and earth to build a paradise for his friend.

He's flat out wrong in the assumptions he makes even if he was right that Nine didn't have the same goals as them.

He didn't see Nine feel he failed his friend by inadvertently unleashing Chaos Sonic. He didn't see Nine stick his neck out so much for his brother.

That's not to say the others were obligated to listen to Nine--they had valid reasons to distrust him--but it doesn't change the fact that Nine is still ultimately an abused kid desperate for a home and has grown up in such isolation that he has no regard for others.

He's not trying to destroy the world--he wants to fix it and isn't against leaving others in isolation.

When Nine hugs Sonic, his mouth trembles. It's like he's struggling to find words to say but can't get them out.

(EDIT: I've updated some portions with new knowledge about the series when before I had speculations)

Now the bigger issue I have with the show is that only ending at episode seven leaves without a lot of closure for Nine.

Nine is the deuteragonist of Sonic Prime. Part of what made Sonic's plan to take Nine with him to Green Hill so moving was that he wanted to give Nine more than just one friend--he wanted a new environment and life for him and wanted him to be surrounded with people who love him.

It would have gone a long way to have even one scene maybe indicating they can travel to other worlds or have Nine meet the others in Green Hill, showing he has that now.

The moment where he hugs Sonic is very great especially because it's Nine himself initiating it. But as it stands it only leaves it at Sonic and Nine reconciling but not indicating what Nine's fate is after this. The other shatterverse people don't have any reason to trust him so it reads like he's just left alone again.

Even one scene of Nine getting to see a lush, green place for him to live, getting to just have fun with a whole group of friends, sticking him in a safe environment where he'll be loved and respected would have gone a long way.

Having said that, I've watched a few reviews now and find it frustrating none of them are framing this criticism in a way that addresses the fact that more people in the production industry than ever now are striking, we're in a pandemic, and exploitation of employees is a major issue with the advent of AI, among other things.

I can't say for sure, but I wish more of these criticisms were framed less as "man this show is lazy, even fan works are better than this" like I'm seeing on YouTube and Twitter and acknowledging the very real conditions that we're seeing play out in real time.

I'd have ended with the last episode being an entire epilogue or the picnic Scene with Sonic saying "hey guys there's someone I want you to meet" and it's Nine. Sonic would be showing Nine all the little joys in life he could never experience until now.

The final season went to great lengths to use its animation and writing to portray how taxing this all was for Nine, so easily one of the most important plot threads to resolve is him getting the safe home he wanted so badly and giving him some way of being safe and getting to heal emotionally.

The series did pack in quite a few character moments for the rest of the cast and I don't want to take away from that, but I feel a large part of the current mixed feeling or dissatisfaction comes from how it leaves a large portion hanging for Nine. The hug was huge. But it still doesn't really resolve the larger narrative built up with Nine.

That said, a lot of what we have seen was great and a lot of fun. Sonic chose to see what he always knew was in Nine.

[westwindy1]

To put it lightly, and in the most gentle set of terms possible, the Berk Vikings have a very 'communal' sense of humor in the sense that it's kind of like when you are with your friends and you've done something stupid, and they laugh, and all of the sudden it becomes a thing and now you're feeding into a stupid little joke, and even if you do know better now, you say as much as you can in order to keep feeding into it so your other friends can keep laughing and judging and joking about it, with the understand that that's exactly what you're doing.

However, this cycle of only really works for you if you're operating under a very specific set of rules.

If you're good at what you're doing, and you're less prone to doing things people think are weird, it's expected that you mess up less and are therefore going to be the butt of the joke less often.

However, even if you're good at things, if all you do is judge and joke and make fun, then people will start thinking you're a jerk and annnoying (Snotlout, because even though he is the butt of the joke a lot, he also is very good at a lot of things that you're supposed to be good at on Berk).

People who are really good at things can avoid that last bit by just not being the type to joke around at all, removing themselves from the mistake and joke-making cycle and from the line of fire completely, which also has the side effect of making them seem sort of untouchable (Astrid, Stoick).

It's also a way of socially chekcing someone, be it consiously or subsonciously telling them that 'hey, we think this thing that you're doing is not supposed to be a thing that you're doing.'

It's why certain people end up being the butt of the joke more often and feeling worse/left out because of it even if they don't necessarily indulge in the judgment part (Fishlegs), but it's also something other people use to their advantage, and it's one of the ways some people curate a reputation for being funny (The Twins).

It's the way a lot of people in general in social situations are able to grow familair with each other, and the way it turns out, if you can't operate within this system then you end up othered.

(Though for a lot of people, it's a subsoncious process, meaning that even if you tried to put them on the spot about it, a lot of people probably wouldn't be able to tell you anything substantial about what they're doing or why.)

So why, in a world where supposedly strength and aggression are valued overall, where Astrid and the Twins share the same sort of build as Hiccup (when the first movie takes place), is Hiccup a complete and utter social reject?

I mean, even thought he might have been a runty baby, he's clearly made up for it at least in part- I'm sure that with a bit more exercise, he'd be able to do at least something. We also see the other Riders also make incredibly stupid decisions that have incredibly serious consequences all throughout the duration of the series. And, well, if there's one thing to know ever, it's that you don't necessarily have to be good at anything to fit in, so then why was it okay for them to mess up when it wasn't okay for Hiccup?

We know that Hiccup has the judgy part down -"Could use a little less feeding-", calling Gobber a meathead, etc- but we don't often see him doing dumb things the way we see other Vikings doing dumb things and indulging in it. A good half of the sarcasm that we see is him speaking defensively- acting out after he messes up.

The reason I think people get mad when this happens is that he speaks without realizing that what people expect is for him to be cool about it, ie to help feed into the joke, so when he's being dry, he's spending social currency he doesn't have, and people are annoyed at him because of it.

He can't hold his own yet never has 'good humor' about being the butt of the joke.

He interrupts the flow of conversation. He's never speaking to the right script. He's a 'buzzkill.'

I actually don't think that this is a trait that looks bad on him or is something that stems inherently from who he is on the inside, nor do I think that anything that happened to him was right for multiple reasons.

The Vikings on Berk are incredibly, overly judgemental when it comes to Hiccup- he's the blacksmith's apprentice, he takes care of most of their weapons even if he doesn't want to and is kind of lazy about it, he is funny despite the innapropriate timing.

He has all the right parts, he just didn't have the social faculties to manage his own reputation.

And this is, in part, because of his Dad. Stoick wasn't ready to be a father, but he had a kid. He lives with this kid.

As Chief, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who would joke around at all. He takes things seriously and is also good at everything he does anyways and he is in charge, which earns him kudos he doesn't usually take the time to spend, so there's nothing for anyone else to be bitter about.

Of course, Stoick himself is 'other' as Chief, except things have always fallen into place for him, at least socially, because he's so large and battle-hungry. Because of that, he clearly doesn't take the time to foster Hiccup's social abilities the way Hiccup needs because he and Stoick function on an inherently different level when it comes to everyone else, made all the worse as Hiccup seems to have existed separately from growing up, developing apart from his incredibly small peer group as the son of the Chief. And again, Stoick wasn't ready to care for a kid. To him, however, regardless, he's done his job. As far as he's aware, taking care of Berk is taking care of his kid.

If there's no food on Berk then there's no kid.

Thay's why Hiccup falls to the wayside and Stoick feels justified in his disappointment whenever Hiccup isn't up to scratch, and therein lies the deterioration of their father-son relationship.

Stoick making Hiccup Gobber's apprentice early on was probably a quick reaction to some kind of percieved failure, a choice he made because he had to put his kid somehwere and make him work so he might whip the boy into shape somehow. I mean, he obviously wasn't going to be Chief, but he did need to be useful.

As such, with all the time Hiccup spent in the forge and the headstart he lost out on being Stoick's son, missing out on an early childhood he was supposed to have spent making friends and figuring out how to socially navigate, which also probably agitated Stoick, seeing his son flounder so hard, and acted as a form of confirmation bias for everyone else.

Which, I mean, clearly sucks, because from what we see in httyd 3 from what was in the movie the storyboards, Hiccup was a pretty sweet kid.

I think his judginess stems from him trying to adapt the humor he's been kind of living around, to try and be 'cooler' by speaking like the people who, in the moment, seem to have the upper hand, and finding that yeah, being sarcastic really does work for him and he's actually pretty good at it and if not anything else, he at least makes himself laugh.

He mixes up his Dad's need for him to be physically capable with why he'd being iced out, and so ends up constantly trying to prove himself, messing up and pissing people off when all they really want from him is for him to calm the fuck down.

So then, since a lot of social navigating is something that people do unconciously, no one is going to take a step out of their own way to try and figure out why this kid is so weird and someone they for sure don't want their own kids hanging out with, and so Hiccup is stuck floundering trying to make up for his personal failings without confronting the reason people are so harsh on him, which he is unable to recognize because hasn't been given the tools he needs to function well in society.

We don't see Hiccup really settle in until the TV series where he has time to acclimate and other people have time to get used to him and he actually becomes more competent.

It's just a really unfortunate cycle of 'not getting it' and people sort of failing Hiccup all around which I think is what led Hiccup to be the way he is.

[unsaidthingsj2e]

that one good cologne, that you bought when we were fighting

Summary : Memories of the night Jude broke up with you are flooding back as you smell his perfume in the bus.

a/n : once again, ignore any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language,

this is inspired by memories by conan gray (<3) and most specifically by the lyrics i put as the title of this fic!!

this is just angst but also i don't know if anything i ever write has any value so don't get your hopes too high, tho i would love to know what you thought ab it!! love ya

It annoyed you, how memory worked. How the sight of a picture, the sound of a melody, the taste of a pastry, the texture of a shirt, the smell of the air would make you remember stuff you tried so hard to bury deep inside your mind.

You hated how it would hit you at the most random moments, taking you by surprise and sending you into memory lane without your consent.

Because you just entered the bus, eager to finally go home after a long day at uni. You had to run in order to catch the bus and not wait for another 10 minutes in the rain. For once, you spotted a free seat that would relieve your back of the heavy weight of your backpack, the bus ride would, for once, not be living hell.

Quickly making your way to the back of the bus where you saw the seat, you sat and sighed, letting the stress dissolve. After taking quick breaths in order to allow oxygen to course through your veins again, it hit you.

You found yourself physically unable to move as the smell of the air hit you. Your brain only took seconds to catch up, pairing the smell of the cologne the guy behind you wore with what you still describe as the worst period of your life.

Too vividly for your own liking, the scene seemed to play in front of you.

You usually weren't the confrontational type, always preferring hiding your feelings deep inside you, convincing yourself you overreacted when something seemed off.

This is something your boyfriend, Jude, made sure to change throughout your relationship. He made sure you knew he would not react like your parents and past partners always did when you brought up an issue.

You loved him, and this part of him, that was making sure you felt safe, was your favorite. He clearly cared for your bond and wanted you to be able to express whatever was on your mind.

Him reassuring you did not make the process less stressful, as you usually fell back into old patterns, but after a year of dating him, you were beginning to get more comfortable at the idea of openly communicating your feelings.

That's how it started.

"Jude? Can I talk to you please?" you said before you could chicken out of this

"Hi love, I didn't know you came home already" he left his spot in front of the TV to come greet you with a kiss, "sure, what's on your mind?"

This display of attention, that became so rare lately, made you pause, wondering if you were indeed making it all up. But when you made eye contact with the boy, you could still see all the space between you two, that wasn't there before.

"Can we go back on the couch maybe? I'd like to be sitting to discuss this" you tried to create an environment that would lessen the pressure on yourself, not trusting your knees not to break right here and there.

You used to be so sure Jude would be your lifeline, having been friends for so long before dating, and now, knowing how good he could treat you as his girlfriend, you could not help but be confused at what he was becoming.

His eyes grew cold and distant, the time he dedicated to you kept on reducing, the affection behind his nicknames seemingly gone. You wondered if you did something to activate this slow and agonizing descent into your personnal hell; a life without him.

You could see worry creeping up in his eyes, vector of so many emotions, or lack of thereof, he could never hide, "Whatever you'd like, is something wrong?" Jude asked.

"Maybe? I don't really know if i'm making all of this up but you're the one that always insisted I don't let myself spiral with my thoughts right?"

"Yeah, always love, I want you to be comfortable around me"

"Okay, uhm, I couldn't help but notice you slowly slipping away? It's just that you're not around as much, you don't seem to long for the physical touch you usually crave from me and, I feel like you don't even care about me anymore, like you've seen all that was to see and you've just grown bored"  you spit out in a single breath, worrying you could change your mind if you didn't say it fast enough.

It's the way the worry in his eyes shifted to a shade closer to annoyance that was the exact reason why you hated doing this, "Hey, I don't know where you think you saw that, but I still love you as much as I did yesterday and all the days before, none of what you said reflects what I'm feeling for you" his honey slicked voice tried to reassure you, but it just didn't seem enough this time.

Engulfing you in a hug to shut down any answer or further explanation you may have had, Jude started kissing your face everywhere he could, "My pretty girl spends her time worrying when she's the only one I see"

You let it slide only because coming up with this took all your energy and you still were unsure whether or not you made everything up,

but the next month just further proved your points

You did try again, multiple times, to bring it up. When you did, he would shut you up with physical attention, hugs that smelled of a new, foreign cologne he bought, and pretty words. Other times, he would straight up avoid the topic. The drastic change in his behavior concerning conversations came with a return of every insecurities he once erased, you stopped trying and just let it eat you from the insides.

A month ago, you had tried to surprise jude by going to his place before he could arrive, and prepare a romantic evening that would serve to cover up your broken relationship. Cooking his favorite meal, baking the desert that he could not get enough of and putting on your guys' favorite playlist, you were happy with your work.

While you were finishing cooking the main dish, your phone vibrated, indicating a new text from your man

"we should talk, come by my place in an hour?"

Not knowing what it could mean nor if you were supposed to reveal your surprise, you did not answer.

10 minutes later, Jude entered his appartement, not expecting to see you here already. You could tell he was about to ask why you showed up so early when he told you to come in an hour before he noticed the music, the smell, the state of the dining table.

"Hi, we should probably talk before doing all of this" he said while gesturing to all the stuff you prepared. the lack of kisses and "thank you"'s were not unusual but still stung as if it was the first time.

"Yeah, sure, what do you wanna talk about?"

"I'll go straight to the point to make it fair to you, because I haven't been. I met a new girl."

Time stopped

"I'm sorry that you were right about all these things you used to hold myself accountable for, but I found myself falling for her and it had to come with putting space between us. I wish things were different but I have to break up with you in order to make things fair for both of us, we just aren't made for each other and it's time we accept it"  he said, still filled with confidence and when you dared to look in his eyes, shades of honesty and the lack of empathy or sadness felt like just another knife being thrown into your back.

He was so convinced he was being the good guy, coming clean and acting as if the relationship was a burden to both of you. You wondered how long he has been feeling like that, what triggered the need to be fair now, when he hasn't been for at least a few months, if he said your accusations were correct.

You felt dizzy, confused, hurt, but neither tears nor words were coming out. You could only bet your face was one of stone, with pain all over it written in capital letter with glittery paint. All you knew was that you had to leave, so you did.

Jude had anticipated the shutting down part, knowing you well enough to know this many emotions and facts to process would send you into overdrive, so he did the talking, "As much as I appreciate you and I always did, I doubt a friendship between us would work again. It would, this time, not be fair to my girlfriend, I'm sure you can understand."

The word girlfriend being used for someone that wasn't you made an unexpected sob rip through your chest. You had an hard time believing the man in front of you was the man that used to be your best friend and lover. Such hard words used carelessly, no matter what you felt was so unusual for him.

That cologne, so foreign, caused an headache. Or maybe it was the wave of intense emotions, the contained tears and the broken promises. You made your way to the door, opening it and freezing.

You considered saying a snarky comment about dinner, attacking him about the trust you had put in him, asking about this new girl, but you just couldn't.

You'd look for closure later, when your mind was not foggy and threatening to shut down as well, but for now it's you leaving the double of the keys he gave you behind. More than a key, it was ornamented with keychains from places you had visited together, mostly places where he played with his team. And the key of the heart shaped locker you two had put on the infamous love lock bridge in paris, when he would insist you keep it instead of throwing it in the water, because you would always be the key to his heart.

All hope of a peaceful bus drive was gone, as you still found yourself glued to your seat, paralyzed by the scent of the cologne.

It caused you the same headache it had back then, accompanied by the tears you had held back when last confronted to this smell.

part 2 right here <3

[velvet-vox]

The horrifying humanity of Lord Shen

One of the less talked about things that help Lord Shen to be the fascinating and complex antagonist that he is are his facial expressions:

Anytime throughout the movie that Shen shows his face, we are met with an extremely detailed and eye-catching emotion, accentuated by the movie actively refusing to let us see the rest of Shen's design clearly; when you think about it, Shen is very overly designed, with the iron talons, the robe adornments, and his massive tail, yet the one thing that we are constantly paying attention to is his face.

His face is also fairly detailed, mind you, but is not the only part of his body to be like this, yet most of the time, the camera focuses only on that aspect of his appearance, and when Shen is covered in shadow, which happens a lot, the only thing that we can pay attention to is his red eyes, engulfing the rest of his body.

Shen's facial expressions do a really great job at communicating to the audience so much extra depth about his character: they give us a glimpse of his psychology and make us understand the fundamental flaws that define Shen as a person.

His expressiveness is especially noticeable when compared to the other three main villains;

Tai Lung barely emotes, except to show his anger; as a matter of fact, what I've just said is a lie, he actually has a lot of different facial expressions, especially after his escape from jail, but the thing is that we are never meant to focus on them: Tai Lung's martial prowess is the main focus of his character, so every scene he's in capitalises on it, his emotional state comes second, which helps those moments when he's actually super emotive (the fight with Tigress, Shifu's apology, his mental breakdown at the end of the movie) to hit that much harder.

The Chameleon makes a lot of different facial expressions but they don't communicate any more depth about her character; it's hard to say at this point, since I've only seen Kung Fu Panda 4 once, but if I were to take a guess, the intro sequence of the movie were The Chameleon pretends to be Tai Lung is the most depth her character ever gets in the story: she is a massive fangirl.

I'll probably have to rewatch her sequences a couple more times to make sure I'm not getting anything wrong, but as of right now, I am going to take a wild assumption and say that The Chameleon prefers her trasformations over her real self because she doesn't like herself for who she is. This is mostly unrelated to our current discussion, but since an analysis of The Chameleon is extremely far away, I might as well mention this observation now.

Kai's facial expressions give us a lot of insight into his mind, but not as much into his psychology like Shen's face does: in a way, Kai is the most emotive of the Kung Fu Panda villains, since, as we're going to see very soon, Shen keeps a lot of his emotional turmoil for himself, he doesn't want other people to understand what is going on in his mind and how actually scared of everything he is; Tai Lung also practices self-restraint but for different reasons, and The Chameleon is still yet to be fully understood by myself, but Kai is always sincere about his emotional state, he's angry when he's angry, flattered when he's flattered, and he's scared when he's scared. This doesn't mean that Kai doesn't have anymore depth that can be extrapolated from a contradiction between what he says/does and what his face says/does, it just means that Kai is someone who's very clear about his emotions, probably because he lacks the childhood trauma that defies Shen and Tai, and also because he's already dead.

Kai's inner thought process is that of a raging bull: clear as day. He doesn't have any emotional vulnerability to hide because he doesn't feel like anything can hurt him anymore, so he doesn't bother with keeping a facade since he's not afraid of anything.

Speaking of emotional state, it's time we take a look at this schizophrenic turkey's mental health and how the expressions that he makes leak out the true reason behind his seemingly unending hatred of Po.

You may now be thinking "But isn't Lord Shen's hatred of Po kinda obvious? He hates him, because he perceives him as a threat to his plans, and because he's evil and all that jazz" and while you are partially correct for that, I want to expand upon that obvious notion, and reveal why every time Shen interacts with Po he seemingly treats him like his life long arch nemesis:

You see, Lord Shen isn't just simply afraid of Po....

He's fricking paranoid of him.

Do you remember the whole training montage where Po and the Furious Five are travelling through the country to reach Gongmin City while Shen is getting ready to start the invasion?

It's a pretty cool sequence and all, especially from the perspective of the six..... but why is Lord Shen acting like that?

In KFP3, where we get a similar scene with Kai, it makes perfect sense from both the hero and the villain point of view: Kai, at this point, has been established as a massive threat to Po, so Po is keenly aware of the danger that he poses and is training like hell in order to defeat him; while Kai, who has now almost managed to destroy everything that Oogway has created, is impatient of taking out the last remaining pieces of Oogway's legacy, showcased by the angry way in which he punches the obstacles in his path to the village.

But here, while Po is simply preparing himself to fight the next big threat, Shen is going the extra mile of refining his combat prowess for an invasion that is going to be executed through the usage of gunpowder.

... A bit excessive, don't you think? This doesn't really mean much right now, but let's keep this in mind for later.

After defeating the Council of the Masters and dethroning the throne, Shen immediately asks the Soothsayer to tell him his future, but not before ensuring that his weapon is in the right position for him to continue his monologue.

Keep in mind: these two probably haven't met in 30 years, and while the true extent of their relationship is up to the fans head canons, it's pretty easy to assume that these two were probably closer at a certain point in their lives; therefore, if Shen was so eager to know his destiny to the point of not even wanting to gloat at the old goat, he must have been motivated by either one of these reasons:

A; He wanted to get this over quickly so that he could focus on something else, learning about his future and then finally getting rid of the Soothsayer;

B; Shen's brain is entirely concerned with his plans of world dominance, plans that would greatly benefit from the Soothsayer's ability of predicting the future to be completely foolproof.

C; He has been thinking of nothing else for the past 30 years.

While A is quickly disproved by a later scene where Shen let's go of the goat, B is most likely also not the answer, as despite it being the most logical course of action for the young Lord, the same scene that disproves A also denies B: why would Shen let go of his greatest source of intel? Just because he needed a way to make peace with the past? It's still possible that the thought of using the Soothsayer's magical abilities may have crossed Shen's mind, but I doubt it ever was his main concern.

No, Shen immediately started going after the answers that he sought for one and one reason only: it's been tormenting him for decades.

The way Lord Shen rehashes his monologue with his sword before meeting Po is not that of a cold, calculating mastermind making sure everything goes according to plans; it's the way a schizophrenic freak would try his hardest to keep everything under control.

Shen is in constant need of wanting everything to be how he has envisioned it, like that cannon from earlier, because otherwise he starts to crack down under the pressure.

His nervousness becomes even more apparent in the first segment of his developmental footage; even if all of these are cut scenes that were never intended to be in the movie, they reinforce the idea that the writers always intended to portray Shen as anxious in this scene.

And once Lord Shen is finally about to meet Po, he indeed starts to crack down under the pressure; Shen has feared that this day might arrive his entire life, fought so hard for this moment to not come true, and now that it's finally here, he's absolutely terrified.

Notice how Lord Shen immediately reaches for his feather-knife once he hears the big bad fat panda coming closer: even if the whole scene is played for comedic effect, you can't deny the fact that Shen is truly panicking here, the very next shot of his face right before the meeting makes you assume that Shen thinks that he's going to die.

And I believe this exact fear of death, more than anything else, is what drove Shen to commit genocide towards the Pandas, it's the true reason behind any of his actions, made worse by all of the other issues Shen has:

Lord Shen suffers from Thanatophobia.

Thanatophobia is an intense fear of death or the dying process. Another name for this condition is “death anxiety.” Those suffering from this mental health disorder might be anxious about their own death or the death of someone they care about. Psychotherapy can help most people overcome this disorder, but as you can very well imagine, there weren't many therapists in ancient China, so I doubt Shen had any concrete way of overcoming this struggle, especially in his current household, who most likely put high societal pressure on his dilapidated mind.

Here's a link to a site that better talks about this stuff. Of course, if you want to truly verify the validity of my source, I encourage you to seek out a professional, and please don't use what I tell you as proof for any real life debate.

I personally believe that diagnosing Lord Shen with Thanatophobia is the best way to put the actions of his character into perspective; the visceral way in which Shen talks to Po doesn't make a lot of sense if Shen only sees Po as a threat; no, Po is a constant nightmare looming inside his mind, and has been driving him insane for years, so now Shen wants to even the favour with the panda by slowly breaking his mind apart before he finally manages to kill him.

For Po, his conflict with Shen wasn't personal until he learned of his past, but for Shen, it was personal right from the moment he overheard the prophecy.

The complete and utter alienation of Tai Lung

[hostdoozy]

I am putting this thought here cause I think a lot about the Kraang and it is sad to see that the Rottmnt community reduced them to nothing more than set pieces or a hivemind (when they're clearly not)

I want to delve into Kraang3's abilities and how they differ from his elder siblings. so let's focus on the most DANGEROUS one out of the trio

Before I continue I do want to emphasise this point cause i cannot stress this enough, the Kraang themselves are NOT a hivemind. 1 & 2 throughout the movie have many instances of being individualistic, acting upon their own desires- the slight expectation being 3, who is obedient and restrained.

Does this mean 3 is not his own character? nope- he's still his own individual. Kraang3 is a loyal soldier awaiting commands from his Eldest brother 1 but with this being said, he's still capable of acting upon his own volition if the situation calls for it. (I.e protecting the key from Leo, then later on his confrontation with Donnie & mikey within the technodrome. )

"But Brew! How does this tie into Kraang3's abilities?"

You might be wondering. Well, my dear reader- it actually does, in some way. Now that I established that the Kraang themselves are NOT a hivemind. Kraang3 on the other hand, is capable of making them but out of other species.

The Kraang are (while not in a traditional sense) a parasitic-like race. They come to other planets for the pure purpose to conquer... to consume.. to mould the inhabitants into their ideal image.

Anything caught within it is assimilated and turned into a mindless drone. However, there is a slight flaw within 3's biomass. Which is the effects heavily vary upon the individual. Some are mutated beyond recognition- while in other instances- it merely clings itself onto the victim's flesh, invading their minds. The changes heavily vary from person to person. We don't know how far his hivemind can go- but his drones are capable of taking commands from his elder siblings at least. (side note: Biomass contains empyrean, the source of yokai and mutants.)

now, What kind of hivemind does 3Kraang create? The answer is kinda unclear. In some instances where YES, both the biomass and the drones act as an 'extension' of himself but in other moments, they're like worker bees protecting their queenbee. (the queenbee in this case, being the actual kraang, not just 3)

3's biomass can also possess machinery, creating unholy and terrifying abominations against nature. With machines- there is no will to conquer. Furthermore, 3's biomass once it reaches a certain point, can drain energy from an entire fucking city and redirect it into a MASSIVE portal into the sky.

ALL of that- is 3's doing. His siblings are incapable of doing this and are aware of it.

So before I get into that- just what the 1 & 2 abilities are? Allow me to break it down into a simpler list. we know that

Both Kraang 1 & 2 have some Shapeshifting properties. While they are not capable of changing their forms entirely, they can at least shift parts of their anatomy. This aids them in combat outside of their suits (I.e extending their limbs or shifting the density of their flesh)

Krang 1 can peer into his victim's mind. This can only be done physically and through his tendrils. It allows him to dig through their memories and gather intel. The process is evidently painful for the victim causing them to pass out upon kraang 1 retraction. (not canon however, it is worth noting that within a deleted scene. Kraang 1 instead forged a false dream in Raph's mind in which Raph "escaped" and ran back home. This was how the kraang were going to discover Tmnt's home initially)

Kraang1 can block mystic powers. Using his frills- Kraang1 can make a specific soundwave that blocks out his enemy's powers- forcing his opponent to face him and rely on their physical prowess rather than "tricks"

Both Kraang 1 & 2 are highly durable. They had buildings, wrecking balls, fucking 'acid'- thrown at them and while the experience is indeed painful, They manage. They quickly recover from that experience and press forward. They're relentless.

3's siblings never showed any signs of the same powers as he does.

Kraang1 knows this.

Throughout the entire movie. He is seen accompanying 3 the whole time, safely guarding his little brother and dictating his every move along the way. 1 knows how important 3 is to their future empire because neither he nor his sister, have what 3 has. It was not just the Technodrome they needed- it was also 3.

So even when the Technodrome was destroyed. it wasn't just the ship he was pissed about. he was also pissed about his little brother possibly perishing. 3 was IMPORTANT to their conquest, without him, They wouldn't be able to finish what they started all those centuries ago. 3's powers are crucial for their empire.

"you ruined everything!"

1 truly meant it when he said that. He admitted to defeat but retracted that statement with "You think you've won, you wretched little pest." - To sum up this moment, The dude is seething. He is coping that some teenagers outwitted him and killed his little brother, putting a cork in HIS plans. Even with the knowledge that his sister is alive back on earth. There won't be any way for her to 'reclaim' earth- since the two most essential things have been blown up to smithereens.

To conclude this weird tangent.

While Kraang1 is the eldest sibling/the leader. Kraang3 is the more dangerous one because of how he unique abilities. Without him, things would turn out very differently

also- completely unrelated, 3 reminds me of the homophobic dog meme.

okay, that is all. for now.

[kanmom51]

JK live 21 July 2023 London - Part 2

cr./to the creators of the content used in this post.

How do you start a part two of such a hugely significant live?

I guess I'll continue straight from where I left off.

JK has changed, is changing, and he wants us to understand it and accept it.

JK talks about how he got his courage from us and he wants to use it to try new things, that might make army uncomfortable, so he wants to find a way to do these things but also take army into consideration because he feels like he is not alone in this, he's with us. So he wants to communicate openly with us as a friend, bringing up suggestions as to what next, laughing saying without it being a spoiler.

And he goes on...

And here's the punchline.

This is him saying: it's not all about you. As much as I love you army, this here is also about what I want and what I need to make me happy!!!

And here am I wondering if he’s only talking about the creative process.  Because to me this feels like him also telling the fandom that there are boundaries.  Boundaries to which they can expect or demand things of him.  That he too needs to be happy within this relationship with army.  And that army needs to respect that as well.

This here folks is him cutting ties with his idol identity.

He's not disconnecting from army, not at all. He's also not saying "it's all about me and my happiness", but he is saying to us "it's not all about you anymore - this is me, I'm a real person, I deserve to be happy as well. See me, acknowledge me, let me be me and be happy, and we, Jungkook and army, will find our happiness together."

JK reads one of the comments asking him if he is crying.  He answers that he is not but he is clearly emotional and continues to say that as a 25 yo man :

He struggles to find the words, but he wants us to be understanding towards him.

As you see, JK is continuously drawing that line. The one between those that love him, and he loves them back, and those that hate him, don't see him for who he is. For those that love him, he wants to give his all, and within that relationship he wants to be honest and open and natural - a friendship with us.

And this is a sentiment that is on repeat throughout the live.

Again JK talks about army cheering him on, and having to repay army but:

This live, what he was talking about, it was important army all over the world will see – hear what he is telling us.

JK talks a little about deleting IG.  Tries very diplomatically not to dis IG, but in ever so many words says that the way to show himself honestly was in the lives, even that side of him (talking about being drunk).  Not flawless. HUMAN. REAL. (less company control – this is me talking not JK).

Again, the real person JK, not the idol JK.

Thing is, in all that talk about deleting his IG account all JK did was explain why he preferred the lives, and not why he went and deleted an account with over 50 million followers, lol.

But what he’s saying is that he wants a direct line to his fans. And he thinks he can achieve it with the lives.

And there you have it folks.  The company being Hybe, not BH.  BH are the boys.  Hybe is “The company” that is trying to impose what they think the boys should be, what they should sing about, what their image needs to be, all to be able to capitalize on them as much as they can until they enlist and until their contracts are back up for negotiation.  JK has shown us in the past few months, starting with his late night lives, his deleting the IG account, the JM promotion lives, that he is done with it.  Done with what “the company” wants or expects of him.  And he wants to care even less about what the company thinks or wants of him.

Again.  Comfortable.

We talked about what that means, didn’t we?

When are you most at comfort?  When you are being yourself!  No walls, no masks, no hiding, no omitting or lying.  Being yourself.

Again talking about the friendship relationship with army…walking down the street meeting up…

JK brings up again people criticising him for doing the lives while drunk – so what? And then he goes on to talk about an interview he did in the past - he knows there are those that care about him, for them he will give his all.

JK, well aware of the voices, those that don’t like him, those that criticize him, those that hate him:

Just JK saying fuck all the ops in his very nice and polite way.

Piss off, fuck off is what he wants to say, but he's too nice, too polite to say it. He is definitely a much better person than myself, because I will very loudly and bluntly tell them just that. To fuck the hell off, go live their lives and leave him and JM alone. And that includes those that claim to care about JM and go on to back JK, because they are just as bad if not worse than 'the others'.

So if, by any chance, what JK is saying is lost in translation for those antis, then here it is:

FUCK YOU HATERS!!!

Another proud moment right there!!

Funny bunny asks for permission to go to the restroom, lol.

But before he goes,

And there you have it. 

If you were thinking for one second that I was talking out of my ass in part 1 about him having notes. He came prepared. He had things he wanted to say. Things he HAD to say, and he wanted to make sure he said it all.

JK’s back for the toilet, yay.

JK telling us, once again, he loves us.  And he sincerely does.  That’s just who JK is. People need to listen to what he tells us, not only now, but over the years what he told us too.

This here is something that made me sad:

Him saying “if I don’t get strong the reason that I am loved or cheered for disappears”.  But he also says that is what he’s communicating with us about and that we will get stronger together.  I feel like this is him talking about growing together. He's changing, he understands that the fandom will have to change as well. If army have the same expectations they had of him only a couple of years ago, well that won't work. He's grown, he's different, he wants different things for himself, and army needs to recognize that, accept it and grow from there together with him.

JK again, talking about wanting to have drinks with army.  Man is on a mission, lol.

He wants his own Suchwita style show, only with army, lol.  But the company, that is literally terrified of him, will be monitoring (he knows what he knows, lmao).

He’s asked in the comments if he would be able to handle drunk army, only to ask in return if army will be able to handle him, to which he answers that he doesn’t think they would, lol.

This JK too.

Getting comfortable while talking again about being himself during lives, even if he makes mistakes or disappoints army.  This is him.  He takes responsibility for his actions. 

"Someone who is really nice and proper..."

"Those people..."

Again JK defining the people that he cares for, as such.

Continues that he hopes army are healthy and those they care for are too. That he hopes they are happy and healthy and that “you have a lot of happy moments in life”.

But notice, this is about “good” people. 

So he's really saying that army to him, those are the good people. Those ones, he wants them to be happy.

The others, the haters, they for him are not army. He doesn't say what he wants for them, but he definitely does not wish them happiness as he does for the "nice people".

He thinks he will have to work to find that too – happiness. That is such a mature way of thinking.  Because yes, happiness, lasting happiness is not something that is given to us, it’s something that we need to earn, to work hard for, and to continue to work in retaining it.

So, towards the end is when he lands the final blow.  A big one.

"Anyways this Jungkook that you love, I hope to live up to that."

like “Oh? This isn’t the Jungkook that I know”

"Yeah, that's ok...I'm going to live my life properly."

He struggles a little with how to say it, can’t talk dirty, doesn’t want to be too nice…

At this point he has a little trouble organizing his thoughts.

He wants to live life free and fun, for himself and army.

Again the word comfortable is brought up.

That moment there literally broke my heart into tiny little pieces. It's not just the realisation that JK knows that there are people out there that hate him, it's the "there's a lot of people that hate me..." and repeating it again "there's a lot of people"...

Why anyone should have to go through life feeling hated by others, strangers, people that don't know him at all, people that make assumptions about him, people that tell lies about who he is. People that write vile hateful things about him. No one should have to go through that. But JK, humble, big hearted, loving, talented, amazing, precious man that he is, most certainly shouldn't be dealing with so much vile hate against him.

I see him seeing it. The hate towards JM and himself. I see JM seeing it. JM is silent, he just withdrew, he doesn't share his thought with us like JK does. So I'm living through JK and his hurt and disappointment. And I know that this is how JM feels as well. Like I said, no one deserves this, but those two especially don't. And it's just heartbreaking to see they know it all, and those that think they don't or that they aren't hurt to their core by it are living in denial. 

JK and JM may not see posts like these:

But they most certainly see people that express sentiments like that and worse.

I chose to link this one I just happened to come by and that infuriated me, because of how fucking ridiculous that ask was. JK ungrateful. JK arrogant, full of himself. That there are actually people that think this. To people like that, people that put these words to paper without having the basic decency to go and watch content, see what JK talks about, read what he says, go see what others that work with him NOW say about him: humble, talented, work ethic, perfectionist, soft exterior, kind and so much more, I say go fucking watch his live and count how many times he says he's grateful for army. Thankful for army. This is the ONLY member that has torn down that wall between himself and army and literally voices wanting to be friends with us, and you call him arrogant and full of himself? What planet are these people living on?

So yeah, these sentiments and way worse, they see them. They see it all!

Again, he wanted to tell us things, he came with a plan in mind.

Ok, JK at the end, the whole goodbye was hilarious. We needed some mood lightening, lol.

Time to sum it all up.

Theme throughout the live: gratefulness, thankfulness, please understand me and accept me for who I am.

Words repeated throughout the live: army, grateful, fun, happy, friend, natural, comfortable.

JK was open and sincere and very drunk. Like his drunk sleeping live is nothing compared to how drunk he was in this live. He did tell us he was out celebrating with the staff the end of his promotions and that he was drinking hard, lol.

He was also all over the place.  But I’m attributing that to his neuro-divergency.  If it wasn’t apparent up till now (let’s be honest, JK screams neuro-divergent), then the live was just so clear.  He had things to say, but you could see how he was getting distracted, couldn’t keep on track, and although liquid courage is good at times, in this case, perhaps too much of it, felt like it had the opposite effect on him. 

So on the one hand we had a drunk JK who wanted to tell us stuff, really wanted to get things off his chest. And on the other hand, a little too drunk to articulate what he wanted to say. And that's why he was a little all over the place, lol. But he's such a precious soul, and he only ever means good. Even with those that mean him harm. When talking about those that hate him, not a bad word from his mouth, even with a loosened tongue, but you could see the hurt in his face.

So what did JK say?

He loves army.

He made that abundantly clear.

No matter what, army has been by his side for 10 years supporting him even more than his own parents (he apologised to his parents for voicing this sentiment).

He wants to be friends with army.  Drink together, eat together, meet on the street and say hi casually.  Basically friend zoning army.

He isn’t a child anymore, he is an adult and he’s growing still and changing still. 

He is going to continue to do things according to his gut feelings.

And with all of that change, he’s trying to tell us that he wants us to continue and be by his side.  Continue to trust him and love him and support him even if he’s not exactly the same JK that debuted years ago.

JK establishing this friendship between himself and army and asking for us to continue to accept him and love him even if he changes, but also know that even if there are those that don’t accept it, that is not going to stop him changing. 

He wants us to know who the true JK is, even knowing there are those that don’t accept him, don’t wish him well and even hate him.  That is not going to stop him being true to himself.

And no matter who he becomes or no matter what and how much he reveals of himself, army are a part of him, and he loves them so much.

The comment with the parents it’s about showing army just how much he appreciates them standing by him, supporting him even more than his parents did since debut (he apologises to his parents for saying that). 

He needs people to see him as a grown up.  Not the maknae anymore.  Yes he’s the youngest in the group, but hardly the youngest idol out there, and it’s time for army to acknowledge that.  He needs for them to acknowledge that.  Acknowledge he’s a grown up. Acknowledge he’s an artist.  Acknowledge he is making his own artistic decisions.  Some may be right some may be wrong, but he is taking ownership over them.

He is disconnecting himself from his idol identity. He is a person, an artist, and not something that is there to fulfill the fans wants, needs, fantasies. He wants army to be happy but it's a two way street. Army needs to understand he wants and needs to be happy as well. And we can achieve that happiness together.

Another thing that came to mind was separating himself, who he is, from the others. 

And you can like or dislike what he does. It’s ok to criticise as well.  As long is it’s not malicious.  He understand that not everyone will agree with him or like what he is doing.  Just like friends don’t always agree on stuff.  All within the boundaries of appropriate discussion and no hateful behaviour.

In a way it’s a turning point for his relationship with army:

I love you. I want to continue and be friends with you. But not only have I changed and I am changing, there are parts of me you don’t know just yet, parts that I want to reveal to you as well.  And I want you to continue to love the new me.  But if you can’t, it’s ok, we don’t have to continue to be friends anymore. 

Those that care for me I care for them too.  Those that hate me, let them live their lives…

This is JK asserting himself as an individual, a mature young man and artist as of his own.  He is part of BTS, but BTS is not all that he is.  Kind of like a teenager asserting their independence within their family.  And he loves his family (army in this case), he still wants to be part of it, but he also needs to find his own path, be allowed his independence and be allowed to find his own happiness. If he's happy, so will his family be. And this here most definitley isn't only about his music or professional decisions!!

Something is coming. I just feel it in my bones.

[serenaoffaerun]

Acquiescence

My version of Chapter 2 to @alpydk's piece, "Consequences" - PLEASE READ THAT FIRST!

Summary: Tav slept with Mizora, Gale left. BIG catty fight ensued for the remainder of their adventures in Baldur's Gate. Hate sex ensues at the epilogue party. And then...

Word Count: 2,640

CW: References to (consenting) sexual encounter, depression, and alcoholism.

Screenshot: Taken from my own gameplay. Please do not re-post as your own.

There are a couple more chapters to follow, because my brain went HAM on this assignment. Stay tuned throughout the week for more!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He spoke first, finally standing up and putting himself back together in his pants. “So, now what?”

She turned to him and pulled her dress back down, trying to flatten the wrinkles and keep her hands busy.

“What do you mean, ‘Now what?’” she barked, a tone slipping out much harsher than she meant. Clenching her fists and slamming her eyes shut, she shook her head quickly, not wanting to go back down this road yet again.

“Sorry, I just…” She sighed and looked at him, continuing in a much gentler tone, “I just mean where could we possibly go from here?” Guilt stabbed at her heart for the eight hundred and fifteenth time that week, and she knew that she was still too tipsy to hide her real emotions much longer.

He sighed, crossed his arms and looked down at his shoes, idly kicking at the dirt with the toe of his boot. “Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know if there’s anywhere to go. But…” He hesitated, unsure if he could commit to his next thought.

He looked up at her while keeping his arms crossed, lest he slip into some inadvertently romantic gesture like grabbing her hands. As he took in the sight of her hair, disheveled from their…escapade, hands nervously fidgeting with her dress, moonlight radiating off her skin, he felt that familiar heartache he’d been carrying around the last six months bloom in his chest. Hells below, he’d missed her, even after all the venomous words and hurled spells.

Her eyes were much softer than they had been earlier this evening. Plus, she’d actually apologized for her tone. Apologized.

He saw a door being cracked ever so slightly open, and gods be damned if he wasn’t going to push through it.

“But I don’t want to believe that,” he continued, voice solemn and quiet. “We’ve done some pretty impossible things together. Surely there’s some kind of progress to be made.”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek as tears welled in her eyes. Damn it all to the hells and back, she did not want to cry. It could be the wine, the adrenaline crash from the mind-shattering rage orgasm, the long-lost gentle touch in the stroking of his thumb against her hand afterwards…or his words just now that betrayed hope in his softened voice. His stupid, comforting voice from his stupid, handsome face looking at her with stupid, soulful eyes that bore a hole in her soul once again.

It was her turn to examine her own shoes now, crossing her arms while sniffling sharply, tensing her jaw and trying to will back the emotions from escaping.

‘Fuck it,’ she thought, meeting his gaze and steeling her resolve.

“I don’t think I can talk about this in-person yet. I don’t think either of us can. But we clearly have unresolved shit to deal with.”

‘It’s a start,’ Gale thought to himself.

He took a slow, deep breath and said, “How about we exchange letters for a while. Take time to properly get our thoughts out without fueling each other’s tempers. Give us time to process and think out our responses.”

She huffed a brief laugh through her nose. “What, communicate like actual functioning, mentally healthy human beings?” They both half-smiled and looked back towards the ground, thankful for the slight emotional reprieve. She continued, “We clearly seem to bring out the worst in each other, don’t we?”

“That we do,” he replied before looking back up. “But there was a time that we’d also brought out the best in each other, once. I refuse to believe we can’t find our way back there again. Someday.” Much to his displeasure, his voice cracked a bit during the last part.

Tav’s breath caught as a few beats of silence went by, her lip quivering. She wanted to run at him and hug his neck and cry until the sun came up. She felt hope for the first time since that dreadful night with Mizora that they could act like reasonable people with each other again, if nothing else. ‘Someday.’ But she figured she’d better quit while they were at least on neutral ground.

“Alright,” she said quietly. She finally looked back up, trying to appear more confident. “I don’t know where to begin, but since I started all this, I’ll go first. Expect a letter in the next week.”

He pressed his lips in a line and nodded his head curtly, if nothing else but to keep himself from rushing forward and crashing their lips together again. He could tell that this was equally difficult for her and wanted nothing more in that moment than to comfort and be comforted by her. But that would have to wait. He didn’t want to push her away.

“Alright. I’ll make sure to respond within the week after.”

“Alright,” she replied.

“Okay,” he said.

After a couple of seconds of silent gazing. She turned on her heel and walked towards her portal home. Before she stepped through, she paused, looked over her shoulder, and said, “Goodnight, Gale.”

Bowing his head slightly, he answered, “Goodnight, Tav.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was pouring rain in Baldur’s Gate when Tav returned.

‘How fucking appropriate.’

As she walked up the steps to her front door, her hands trembling as she brought the key to the lock. She knew what waited inside, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to face it yet. Hesitating with her hand on the knob, she closed her eyes, swallowed thickly, and took a deep, shaky breath.

‘Come on, Tav. You’ve walked into rooms filled with goblins, tadpoled drow, mindflayers, and torture devices before. Get a grip.’

As she swung the door open, she was hit with a wall of smells: stale alcohol, dust, even rotten food. Lip quivering and feet unsteady, she leaned on her door frame looking inside. Books littered the floor in a pile on one end of the room, having been shoved off the shelves in anger a month ago. How dare they smell like his tent. His tent that had contained the tomes of every adventure’s loot pile, begging to be scoured for information that would nudge them closer to a victory. The tent where she’d lain every night for months, her head on his chest, breathing in the smell of him and the pages and letting the sound of his heartbeat lull her to sleep.  

Down the wall from the traitorous book pile was a waste bin filled with dirt and burned scraps of fabric. The charred remains of her camp clothing. That cloth had the audacity of smelling like him too, even after they had started sleeping as far away from each other as possible in the remaining weeks after “The Fight.” She couldn’t explain why, but she’d held on to them in the bottom of her wardrobe when she unpacked. Something inside of her wouldn’t let her get rid of them.

That is, until after she’d returned from Waterdeep with her heart re-broken. The first thing she did when she got home was rip those clothes from the drawer, toss them in the bin, pour oil on them, and light a match. It wasn’t her brightest moment, though the flames that started to lick up the wall sure were. After taking an entire sack of dirt from her garden and quickly dumping it over the fire, she didn’t have the energy or motivation to clean it up.  

Wine bottles littered the tables and the floor throughout the rest of the room, some broken and remnants spilled. Down the hall in the kitchen, some plates were left on the counter with remains of meals barely eaten, days old at this point.

Never would she have admitted to anyone at the party that her home, her life, had been reduced to a disheveled mess of depression and filth. It took everything she had within her to get dolled up for tonight’s gathering, to the end that she was over an hour late. It’s why the first words out of her mouth were a dig at Gale: she was overcompensating.

She made her way over to her living room sofa, collapsing into a pile of tears and rain-soaked hair,Gale’s seed still coating the inside of her thighs. Every emotion washed over her as heavy as the rain outside her windows: guilt, anger, hope, relief, uncertainty, disappointment in herself for being so weak… Kicking off her shoes where she lay, Tav buried her face in the pillow, and cried.

One night. She would give herself one more night to wallow in her self-pity and heartache. First thing in the morning, she’d clean up the house. She would take a shower. She would feed herself.

And she’d write that damned letter. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Meanwhile, Gale popped back into his library in Waterdeep, walking past the dusty shelves, the stacks of papers to grade, the pile of crumpled up letters in the trash – the letters he’d started writing dozens of times over to her. Some were pleading for forgiveness at how harshly he’d reacted to her betrayal, not even giving her a chance to speak. Some were filled with more digs and rage, wanting to make it perfectly clear that he would not be speaking with her from this day forward, including at the party. Others were just random lines of free thought, like how much he missed her and how she inhabited his dreams. He walked past those discarded thoughts and headed straight for the balcony, opening the double doors to the salty sea air and falling back on his favorite bench.

Blowing a huff of air out from his bottom lip to push away some of the stray hairs away from his eyes, he thought, ‘Well, now you’ve done it, genius. You let your guard down, lost all self-control, and allowed her to walk her pretty little high heels right over your heart again, didn’t you?’

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, rubbing his temples like that would erase the memories from the previous hour.

‘Can’t rightly blame her completely though, I suppose. Not like I can say I just so happened to trip and landed with my dick in between her thighs, can I?’

Leaning back again, he let his head fall against the outer wall, arms crossed, looking up at the stars.

A few moments of silence went by before he heard, “You’re brooding again, Mr. Dekarios.” Tara had landed on the other end of the terrace without him even noticing, which already told her he was miles away.

“I do not brood, Tara. I’m reflecting,” he replied, still looking up, a slight pout in his voice.

“Brooding, reflecting, contemplating… Call it what you’d like, but I get the impression the night took an even worse turn after my departure.” Tara hopped up on the table across from him, settling in to pick at her claws with her teeth, dinner having recently been acquired on a neighboring rooftop.

“I wouldn’t necessarily say it was for the worse. It’s yet to be seen if it will be for the better, however,” he replied, sitting up straighter and picking at his own fingernails. He didn’t want to look her in the eye. He already knew what was coming.

“…Well? I’m listening…” Tara drawled, still busying herself with her claws.

There was another several beats of silence before he mumbled, “We had sex again.”

Still attentive to her claws, she said, “I’m sorry, dear, I couldn’t quite hear you. Enunciate your words, for goodness’ sake.”

He gave an exasperated sigh before practically shouting, “I made love to her across the top of the picnic table, Tara, is that what you wanted to hear? That I don’t have an ounce left of self-control and I let her completely bewitch my body and soul again? Are you happy to hear that?”

Tara had abruptly stopped cleaning her claws and stared at him unblinking. “MIS-ter Dekarios, I am SHOCKED. Can you REALLY still be so reckless. Why if your mother only knew—”

“Morena will NOT hear a SINGLE. WORD. about this, Tara, do I make myself clear?” Gale was actually shouting this time.

“How dare you raise your voice to me, why I should—” she started to lecture back at him before being interrupted again.

“Not. One. Word, Tara.” he said, voice quieter but still firm. “I am very well aware of just how much of a fool I made of myself this evening, but I managed to keep my prior relationship with Tav from Morena in the first place, including its tumultuous downfall, and I’ll not have you spilling this particular batch of tea to her, if you don’t mind.”

“Hmph,” she huffed as she put her paw down and looked away.

Gale got up and walked over to a chair at the table, sitting directly in front of her averted gaze. “Listen, Tara, I apologize for shouting, but I need you to understand something. The woman I loved, the woman who saved me from myself, from Mystra, the woman who still carries the broken pieces of my heart… She’s still in there, Tara. I saw it in her eyes. I heard it in her voice by the time we parted ways this evening.”

Tara looked back at him narrow-eyed and said, “I’m still listening.”

He took a deep breath and continued, “You know as well as I do that I haven’t been able to forget her. I’ve tried my damndest. Thrown myself into my job, tried going out to the pub for social time, graded papers and researched cures for vampirism until my eyes practically bled… But she won’t leave my heart. If there is one iota of a chance to stay in each others’ lives, to work at repairing the damage that’s been done, I can’t walk away from it again.”

Tara sat up straight and looked down her nose at the pleading wizard. “Well I certainly hope she’s not coming here any time soon. One night of indiscretion at the hands of a devil is one thing, but after all the horrible things she said to you, I don’t know if I can be so forgiving.”

Gale sat up to meet her disapproving gaze. “I’ll remind you, Tara, that I said quite the list of unpleasant things to her as well. I am not blameless in this scenario. And she won’t be coming here any time soon, for what it’s worth. We’ve agreed to write back and forth for a while, so that we may converse in a much more amiable manner.”

“Hm,” she almost snorted. “Well, I supposed that poses less of a risk of splintered tables and shredded curtains at the very least.”

“Tara…” he started scolding.

“Alright, alright, don’t get your robes in a twist. I’ll behave as long as she does. But I promise you, Mr. Dekarios, if I need to spend another several months reminding you to clean the tower, feed yourself, and pull yourself out of bed to go to the Academy, I will go straight to your mother for assistance this time.”

He didn’t want to argue. Tara had a right to be concerned, and he was honestly surprised that she’d conceded this easily to the idea of possible reconciliation with Tav in the first place.

“You won’t have to, I promise. Tomorrow, this tower will be in tip-top shape and nary a fleck of dust will grace these shelves again under my diligent cleaning rituals,” he replied, standing now, but bowing theatrically in her direction.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” she retorted as she spread her wings and flew off.

His gaze followed her across the rooftops by the shore as he thought to himself, ‘These women really are going to be the death of me yet.’