#and the idea that potential of. almost self awareness to this fact. bc to these guys all of THIS? is resl to them and theyre living it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cinnamonest · 4 years ago

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Yandere Profile - Link (Legend of Zelda)

ABSOLUTELY YES. MY BOY. LOVE OF MY LIFE.

As some of you may know, today is the release date of Skyward Sword HD for Switch!! So I decided to release this one now in honor of that :3

NOTES:

I went towards the idea of a Princess!reader because that just opens the gate for sooooo much potential. I'm leaning heavily towards the ZeLink interactions in BoTW and Skyward Sword just because those games have the most interaction between the two.

Also! This is great bc it gives me the opportunity to explore an idea I've actually had a long time! I've always thought about how many opportunities there have been across the games for Link and Zelda to be kinda like "haha well seeya later" and just... bolt, run away from everything, abandon their roles and responsibilities and all that. Like, if OoT kid Link got her before Ganon did and ran, if SS Link just decided to get her on the bird and bolt before everything went down, if botw Link was just like haha what if we ran away from everything together... jk... unless...?

And final note, Link is a great pick for the very traditional yandere -- sweet and : ) but can snap into darker personas. I really liked writing this bc I tend to have more self centered yans and less of the "worships the ground you walk on" type of yans like I think Link would be, so it's a nice change.

As usual now the nsfw section is divided by a ---- line.

TWs: fem reader, heavily implied Zelda!reader, stalking, murder, very brief mentions of gore/dismemberment of rivals, manipulation, very brief suicide mention, themes of reincarnation (I’ve been told this can be triggering to some people so just in case)

TWs (nsfw section): noncon, somnophilia

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Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 4 Brutality: 8.5 Physical capability: 8 Mental/emotional instability: 7 Restrictiveness: 6 Sexual sadism: 5 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

The primary trait of Link that any darling -- any person, really -- would notice is that he is, well, quiet. He has always been a man of few words, and really, he often doesn't know exactly what to say. On his own, at a first glance, he really does seem like a gentle, humble spirit, someone who blends into the background pretty well, who isn't particularly prideful or reckless or aggressive.

Which is why, to be honest, he might sort of evade the gaze of most people -- he doesn't stand out. You remember him as the boy that smiled at you now and then, it's a soft, gentle sort of smile, one that you feel conveys nothing but the utmost innocence and contentment with the world. You know he's pretty good at fighting, but doesn't get into fights needlessly, he's accomplished and respected, but has never been the guy everyone is talking about -- he's in the background, against the wall. Never speaking, always looking out, sometimes at the sky, sometimes carefully watching people. Sometimes you see him, gaze blank and tranquil, and wonder what he's thinking about. Whether he's the village boy in the time of Twilight, the trained and honored warrior that slept for many years, the boy that came down from the sky -- you can't help but feel at ease around him, safe, you can't help but find him endearing and pleasant.

Yet, you always seem to notice him. Other people... forget he exists, sometimes, he's so quiet. You never do, for whatever reason.

When he needs to get something across, he prefers to express himself through actions, not words. If you lived in Skyloft, or Ordon village, you might find problems mysteriously solved, work suddenly done that you don't remember doing. That fencepost outside your home that broke has been replaced overnight. A village child went missing and he comes back a few hours later with them in tow. Always humble, never demanding or expecting thanks, he tells you in his quiet voice that he's happy to help you.

And should you ever ask him for anything, he'll drop whatever he's doing to help. Anything for you, he says with a smile, which makes you feel a bit guilty when, honestly, you're not even sure you're remembering his name right.

And yet, sometimes, you feel so at ease around him it seems unnatural. He seems so easy to trust. You feel like you've known him forever. And sometimes you feel... for just a split second, less at ease. You find yourself randomly stiffening at his calm, sweet voice. You find yourself looking around when you're alone, as if you feel someone is there, and for some reason, his face flashes through your mind. Sometimes when he looks at you, you feel sort of cold. It's almost like invoking a memory you don't have, like some kind of learned instinct you can't recall a reason for. But those moments are fleeting, they come and go before you can even process them, replaced by warmth and comfort.

If you do spend time with him, if you find yourself gazing out your window when he's training, the next thing you notice besides him being quiet and sweet is that he's strong. It's almost ironic, how all the other knights or village boys are so aggressive and rowdy all the time, many of them taller or bulkier, and yet, none of them could ever dream of defeating Link. Not one can match his agility, speed, prowess. Such a pleasant, calm person, with so much skill, strength, and power, but that power is so rarely seen exerted. People marvel at his talent, they say it's as if he has the experience of lifetimes and lifetimes of battle in his blood.

And it's why you feel at ease when he's assigned the task of guarding you. His capabilities are unmatched, and yet you'd never fear any harm to you from him. Both of those traits put together make him the best candidate to protect you.

Of course, you do find yourself doing most of the talking. Sometimes you find yourself rambling to fill the silence, and you fear you're annoying him, but when you stop he raises an eyebrow and asks why you got so quiet. Did he do something wrong? He seems to worry about that a lot -- has he done something bad? Has he made you upset? Are you mad? At first you think he's worried about his position security, but after a while you realize he genuinely worries about it.

And when you do continue your ramblings, you're surprised to find he remembers your words -- every little thing you say. Things you don't even remember telling him. He asks you about that relative you mentioned one time, his eyes light up and he walks a bit to the side because look, it's your favorite flower over there, he'll get it for you. It's impressive, really, how he manages to remember such things. He must take his job very seriously.

He does enjoy giving you such things -- he loves giving you gifts. It's usually things he finds, wholesome little things -- makes a crown out of the flowers you like so much, finds something interesting here or there, while he was off-duty he saw something in the markets he thought you'd like and got it for you. You almost feel guilty, it's so constant that he's giving you things.

Sometimes you ask him about himself, you realize he knows so much about you and you so little about him. He blushes, he rubs the back of his head, he insists there's nothing interesting about him, he wouldn't waste your time like that. It takes time to get him out of his shell, but eventually, he tells you this or that, little stories from his life.

Sometimes you take long walks, you like to get out of the stuffy walls and have fun outside, he accompanies you across Hyrule. Sometimes it feels familiar, you pass places you've never been that give you a feeling of nostalgia, deja vu, a sense that you've been here before.

He’s protectiveness incarnated. Insanely so. He can spring to his feet at a moment's notice and deals with anything that comes for you before they can even get close.

It makes you feel safe, but there's something else there. It's a ferocity that is so contrasting to his normal self, different even from the times you've seen him fight as he trains. It's a glint in the eyes, an aggression in his expression, that almost makes him seem like a different person. And it lingers for a moment, once the creature is dead and his sword hand falls to his side, he turns and glances at you to his side, a hand raised to wipe the blood off his face, and for that lingering second, it's still there, his blank expression and wide eyes -- a ferocity so intense it starts to look like bloodlust, chaos, destruction. And then, it's as if you imagined it. Smiling and telling you it's gone now, you're ok. You're glad he's so truly devoted.

In fact, he's so dedicated to his job that he starts... doing it... outside of his job hours...? Well, today he was given the day off, and you were told to stay inside because you didn't have to go out. He comes knocking on your door, says not to be startled if you hear someone outside your door move or shift or anything, but he just wanted to let you know in case. He'll be right here. Keeping watch. So don't worry. You're safe.

And likewise, he was supposed to have a day off when you were supposed to enter the town. You were assigned two other guards to watch you, since it's a special trip, so you're surprised to find just Link waiting for you. He took care of it, he says, he didn't feel right leaving your safety up to someone else, he doesn't trust them. So they agreed to let him take over for today.

All of this said, he doesn't have to grow alongside you, he doesn't have to be the childhood friend, the knight who guards you. He doesn't even have to have met you. Fate works in odd ways like that. There's a sort of inexplicable instant attachment he takes to you, almost as though it's some kind of destined, divinely inspired sort of thing. He would describe it as saying you feel familiar to him.

He's also, notably, prone to a more traditional trope of what you might call humility whiplash. For the most part, he's got that overly humble, worshipping, "I don't deserve to even stand in your presence" sort of mentality. However, although it's rare and requires a lot of wearing down his mental state, if pushed far enough, he can have brief moments where he snaps into more or less the complete opposite -- entitlement, arrogance, aggression, getting mad at you for the behavior he'd normally take with a smile on his face. Thankfully, unlike some yanderes that have a whole snapping episode towards their darling, his are very very brief, usually only a matter of seconds or a single snarled sentence before he snaps back to normal, wide-eyed and apologetic and telling you I don't know what came over me. It’s... a little frightening to say the least, but you blow it off, tell yourself that hey, everyone has moments like that... Right?

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

For the most part, he doesn't need it, he can pretty easily cling to your side well enough to be assured of your safety, and he manages to scare off the undesirables not with a glare, but a smile that's just a little too sweet and far too persistent -- it unnerves people. You hear a lot of people say that something about that guy rubs me the wrong way. Or that he gives me goosebumps for some reason. Even the people he scares away themselves can't pinpoint exactly what it is, all they know is that, despite being reputed as kind and quiet (and maybe a little dense), somehow a lot of people agree that something about him puts people at unease, and that's all he needs. Because they stay away from him, and if he’s by your side all the time, that means they stay away from you too. Why keep you trapped when you can just be isolated?

An aware Link is a a unique scenario. One scenario that's rather... interesting to imagine is a Link that defies fate itself, a Link that decides to be selfish in one of those rare snapping moments of his. Perhaps he makes a decision when everything starts going down, when the chaos is beginning, or perhaps he has somehow managed to gain knowledge of the bigger picture at work, the reality of the nature of your existence and his.

Perhaps he begins to think it's unfair. To suffer again and again. To prove himself again and again, and not always even to reap any benefits, to work so hard and yet still -- still -- you slip out of his grasp. He longs for a life with no tribulations, no struggle, no fights to be fought. He begins to feel like it's what he wants the most. He begins to feel like maybe it's what he deserves. So many lifetimes of struggles, if the higher powers won't give him a reward, he'll take it himself.

And perhaps, for all their higher power, not even the great goddesses themselves would have ever predicted it -- humans are ultimately creatures of will. To defy fate and to run away from destiny -- it wouldn't be the first time a human has tried such a thing. Sure, Hyrule may be destroyed. The people may all die. There may be nothing left. But you know what? He's stopped caring. If you're alive and he's alive, tucked away in your little corner of the world where you've found respite, well, that's all he needs. Even if you're on the run from forces that would want to find you, even if the threat of the final third of the triforce owner looms over your head. He'll ignore it, he'll look away.

You'll live a quiet little life together, a happy life without suffering, without quests and enemies, without strife, without worry. That's what he tells you when he steals you away, lifts you out of your bed one night. Says to be quiet, there's danger outside your door, he's rescuing you. You have no reason to not believe him. He waits until things go down, a castle under siege, but rather than taking you to where you're supposed to go, he climbs onto the horse and starts... riding away. It gets further and further into the distance, and you might ask why, what's going on? You have a job to do, he has a battle to be fought. But he says you're going far, far away, someplace you'll be safe.

But what about the divine beasts, the seals, the Twilight, whatever threat runs in this world in this time, what about the threat of Ganon, you ask? He says it doesn't matter anymore. You were doomed to fail, he thinks, it's either stay here and die, or run away. All that matters is you. And he'd like you to feel the same way for him. You will with enough time, don't worry.

He just wants this happy, quiet life with you that he’s been denied time and time again. It’s all he wants. If fate won’t give it to him, he’ll make it happen himself, and carve out the life he is determined to have, defying even the will of higher power.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

He gets it. Really, he does. "Stop following me!" You yell. Well, he understands why you might feel that way, but this is kinda his job. He thinks you're naive. Not that he would ever, ever have a thought that you're imperfect, of course! It's because you're so perfect and pure that you're... less aware of the dangers all around.

He'll let you think you're free, perhaps. He's more than capable of being quiet, quiet is kind of his thing. Watching you from a short distance is easy. Of course, his horse might make a noise, he can't really help that, or he might misstep on a branch or something. And then you turn around and get all mad again. Now you're even more angry. Well, he can also tell your guardians/father, who will encourage you to accept it. You can't help but feel a little bad -- he's just doing his job.

Now, our aware, runaway Link, well, does he really need to keep you restrained? What would you go back to? Certain death, a land destroyed? Sometimes you mention home, and he's quick to remind you that home doesn't exist anymore. His home is where you are. Can't you feel the same way? You found peace here in this little place -- a village far far away. Travelers, you call yourselves. What's the point in going elsewhere? How would you ever survive without him? He's not very good at being subtle or skillful about the psychological manipulation, it's obvious he's trying to scare you into not leaving, but... it still works, because really, he has a point.

He doesn't want to have to use physical restraint, in any case. And for the most part, it's not needed, because one important aspect of your relation is that his job kinda revolves around you (in some incarnations), or, perhaps you live in the same little village, but either way the thing is that his presence does the job well enough -- he's always there, perhaps more so than almost any other yandere. Even when you think you've managed to get away from him for a moment, somehow his face pops up out of nowhere. How he manages to pull it off is a mystery, you swear he manages to find you so well and predict your movements it's inhuman.

But if you really, really pose a problem, a smarter and sneakier darling that somehow manages to keep slipping out of his grasp and running off (you never get away for more than about 20 minutes or so, but nonetheless), you keep trying to run off when he's sleeping (he wakes up in approximately 25 seconds if your presence is absent from the bed, but that's still enough time to run out the front door), every time he turns his head (which isn't often) you're trying to disappear... well, in that case, he can reach a point of deciding more straightforward measures are necessary. He hates to do it, really, at least when he's not yet at a snapping point. But it's for your own good. And he says so, quite apologetically.

But it's not so bad, it's not like you're being chained to a wall or anything. For one, he got leather ties so you'd be more comfortable, but more importantly, as your guardian, he figured the best thing for you to be tied to would be... himself. Think of it like friendship bracelets! It's just... got a 5-foot chain connecting them. This way you can't sneak off at night, and you won't get too far when he's distracted. It's a safety measure.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

He's a learner. At first, it's easy. Honestly, he is a rather naive, gullible boy, sometimes he reminds you of a happy dog with his bright eyes. He likes to believe the best of people, give them the benefit of the doubt in all circumstances, and that goes double for you, who he believes can do no wrong.

And even when you do lie to him, it's still not wrong. You didn't do anything bad. Clearly there has simply been a misunderstanding, and you thought you had to lie. Or perhaps you simply forgot a detail or were confusing something with something else. It wasn't malicious on your end, he knows that.

He's actually significantly smarter than he lets on in practical knowledge, though. Those dungeon puzzles pay off, you know? He's got pattern recognition down. So over time he learns how to distinguish when you're lying to him or attempting to deceive him, and sees through it increasingly well.

And yet, he doesn't really... get mad over it, most of the time. Again, he's just capable of deluding himself into believing there's a reason. He believes so strongly in your goodness that he finds a way to interpret everything you do as out of benevolence. So you snuck out the window and didn't tell him you were going for a walk because you just wanted to get away from his suffocating presence for once? You were just thinking of him. You didn't want to burden him and wanted to give him a break. Well, that's thoughtful, but don't worry, he doesn't need a break. He thinks it's precious you're so considerate of him though!

You don't tell him you were talking to that person, and you lie and say no when he asks, because you don't want him to worry, and because you underestimate how dangerous others can be. He's told you a million times and you don't listen, but that's ok, it's because you're just so pure you see the best in everyone. Everything you do is good.

Because he perceives your lies, he will still work against and around it. He won't confront you on your lies, he'll just make sure to deal with the situation -- you lied about sneaking out, well, he'll just keep watch and be ready to meet you outside next time. You lied about talking to a person, well, he'll just have to make sure they stay away from you instead.

If you're trying to trick him, he just plays along until necessary. Smiles and nods. He gets the suspicion you're planning a break-out when he told you he was leaving to go get something from town... rather than saying so, he just decides, you know what? Why don't you come with him? Oh, you're feeling sick, you tell him it's ok, go without you? Well, he can't leave you alone then! Because you're clearly not and just trying to get him to leave... or, as he says, he can't just leave you alone. He'll go another day.

He's fairly manipulable when it comes to praise and affection. You can easily Pavlov him into certain behaviors or patterns with just the slightest words of praise and affection. He's not a very outwardly expressive person, tends to stay quiet, but you can tell how he feels inside when you give the slightest praise, a hug, a kiss on the cheek -- you can see that soft hint of a smile and tell that inside, he's basically melting, even if it's not obvious to most people. And, much like the lying, he’s honestly often aware of it, but he just can’t help it.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He tries to get you the things that he feels will make you happy. Your happiness is incredibly important to him, and he usually thinks about how any action he plans to take might affect you, spends a lot of time debating choices of things to do or say and try to determine how each one will affect you and choose accordingly.

As such, he goes out of his way to support the things you want to do. Have a hobby? He'll find the best materials available. Want a book or a food? He'll obtain it through some means. Even if procuring it involves a side-quest-y set of mundane tasks or scouring the world for 70 of this and 50 of that to exchange it for the item from an obscure specialist, it's all worth it.

The only thing he just doesn't give up on is the constant vigilance and insistence on being by your side more or less every waking second. And every sleeping second. And just every single moment you're alive. It's for your safety.

This is actually one of the things he can get a little nasty about when it comes to how he deals with it, because he quickly has the bright idea that if you don't get it, he'll make you understand. Of course, he can't actually risk you getting hurt, so he stages it. Allows you to sneak off, or at least think you have, and walk right into the path of those monsters he lured, or the people he hired to intimidate you. Of course, it's only natural that he shows up at the last possible second, right on time to save you. You should expect that, after all, it's his responsibility to protect you, of course fate works out perfectly like this. See, he was right, it's so dangerous, and without him you'd be dead. Hopefully you grasp that now.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

His is mostly related to vigilance. Where are you? Who have you been talking to? Who was that person you were talking with just now? What did they say? He's not nosy. He just cares about you. It’s in the job description. You ought to understand just how much certain bad people would love to find you and hurt you. That's why he has to know.

This isn't our modern world, so there's no phones or tracking devices to speak of, just himself, which, well, might as well be a tracking device since he never seems to have difficulty finding you. Sometimes you're not sure how he does it.

He tells you that you don't have to be with him 24/7, but you will be, even if you don't realize it. He's aware enough to know that you'll feel suffocated and get mad if you're aware of his presence all the time, so he gives you your "alone" time, aka, the "follow her quietly from a 20+ foot distance" time. It all feels the same to you. Well, sometimes you feel eyes on you, but you shake the feeling off as paranoia.

So it's not so much that he sets rules and reacts when they're broken, but rather, he works his way around anything you might do so well that he doesn't need you to follow his rules, or really, you take them more as suggestions. But honestly, that's kind of worse. It's enough to drive a darling to the brink of a mental breakdown very quickly. With Link you will inevitably become paranoid, nervous, you feel like you're going insane because he manages to pop up everywhere, he always knows what you did when you did it and you have no idea how it is even conceivably possible for him to know some of the things that he knows. He confronts you very plainly and quietly, often sweetly, asking why you did this or that or telling you it's ok, you don't have to hide anything, surely there’s a good reason, and if not, he forgives you anyway. In a way, it's worse than an angry confrontation. You begin to feel like he's omnipresent, like he can read your mind, and it truly takes a mental toll and affect you worse than any normal yandere's concept of punishment.

This ultimately works out well in his favor. The more you just do what he wants, the less it feels like a violation or intrusion that he knows these things, since he was there with you, it makes sense, and you continuously get bent to his will.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Ah, and thus we get to that brutality rating.

It would be unthinkable to think that any sort of scum would even dare. Even he isn't worthy of being with you, and someone else thinks they could be? So, he more or less views "rivals" as an offense. When they're threats, well, he's allowed to deal with them. When they're not, well... he has a wonderful reputation. If he says he overheard that person planning usurpation or assassination, that they realized he was listening in and wildly attacked him, everyone will believe him. Even if the death seems a little... non-immediate. And uh... frankly... overkill. How exactly... did those limbs get perfectly severed during equally armed combat? And was it... really necessary... to kinda spill entrails all over like that? He'll apologize, of course, he was just so outraged by the thought of someone hurting you or your family, you know? You notice his eye twitches a bit as he says it.

He has a lot of... bottled up frustrations, which we'll touch on in the nsfw section as well, but it tends to manifest in those two ways: sex and violence. Rather than exerting stress and anger and frustration as it comes, he lets it fester. He tries to maintain being the noble, humble, self-sacrificing person he feels he should be. That is... difficult to do for a long time. People expect a lot from him, even in timelines where he's not necessarily realized as the hero quite yet, he usually has a lot of responsibilities. But then you tack on the whole hero thing? The weight of the world is sometimes, quite literally, on his shoulders. Do you have any idea the kind of stress that comes with that knowledge? It's not pleasant. And it quickly bottles up, a very very fragile bottle set to eventually shatter in a matter of time.

On a longer sort of quest, he just kinda... leaves a trail of destruction in his wake. Enemies don't actually just poof out of existence the way they do on-screen, you know. Anyone coming across an area he's just been through is met with literal piles upon piles of corpses, sometimes monsters, but sometimes people. He takes a very scorched earth sort of policy when it comes to dealing with things.

He's able to easily get close to people, with that sweet face and puppy eyes and lithe body, people don't really feel on guard around him nor intimidated. That makes it significantly easier to infiltrate enemy hideouts, earn favors, and work his way in to be able to commit mass murder more easily. Granted, no one thinks too much of it because they *are* truly enemies, after all, they *did* need to be taken out and well, if the rulers can choose to either send a group of ten soldiers or just one guy and get the job done equally well either way, they'll go with the latter option. No one thinks anything of it, except the occasional person who laughs and says something to the effect of remind me to never get on your bad side, haha! He gives that sheepish, sweet little smile, and jokingly tells them that yeah, better not.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

For you, nearly impossible. For others, at a hair trigger.

For the most part, he conceals anger well until, as aforementioned, it bottles up and bursts. The truth is he gets irritated virtually all the time by other people. People who talk to you. Look at you. Smile at you. He’s actually rather easily annoyed even when you’re not involved, but again, he’s good at hiding it until it builds.

His rage has a commonality with his calm -- it's quiet. At least, at first. When it's directed at others, his eyes narrow. It's the telltale sign that someone has ignited his rage. It burns on the inside, it starts off as a spark that builds and builds and grows larger and larger until it's a blazing fire that consumes everything in his path. It's a loss of composure, a rare moment of complete loss of self-control. From his own perspective, it feels like he's not in control of his own body, it's all a blur happening in front of him and when it's over he's looking down at his own hands, unable to process his own actions, sometimes unable to remember them.

But it's violent, merciless, unforgiving. It does not yield to begging, it does not leave anything alive unless forced to. You remember the first time you realized how unnatural it was, how shocked you were at how he did something that certainly went against the code he was sworn to follow, the very first time you felt truly afraid of Link. It was a walk in town -- someone called out to you, spitting obscenities about you and your family, your lineage, threw something at you -- he caught it in his hand and crushed it, and quickly, without a word, advanced on the offender. And, to make a long story short, you had to prevent him from beating a man to death in public in broad daylight. He was forgiven by his superiors, but even they seemed shocked. You had to pull him off, and when he jerked his head around to look at whatever was stopping him -- before his face softened as he recognized your own face -- the split second you saw the burn of hatred and fury in eyes that were normally so soft and loving, was nothing short of unsettling, you still recall the chill that ran down your spine.

And honestly? It's terrifying. And the first time, it's shocking. Sure, you knew he could fight. You've seen him fight off monsters, bokoblins and lizalfos and the like. But something is different about seeing the blood of a human being run down his sword, dripping onto the ground, to see the bodies and the blank, numb gaze on his features he always has after it's over. The absolute lack of hesitancy he has to run human enemies through before they even have a chance to explain themselves, how unbothered he seems by the carnage left in his wake. The way he turns back to you, drenched in red and smiles, tells you it's ok, you're safe now. There's no need to look so scared.

And it changes how you view him, in the long run. Less of a guardian angel, more of a guardian dog, one that defends your name when you never asked him to. Pleads to tell him not to fall on deaf ears -- you just don't understand why it has to be this way, he says, you can't comprehend the threat they posed. From the sweet boy that leaves you flowers and repairs and instead leaves a wave of destruction in his path you would not have thought possible.

Directed towards you, though, it's entirely different. He tries his best to have patience with you, no matter what. He smiles, he tries to make excuses as to why you'd say this or do that, why you'd feel a certain way, and he's rather good at deluding himself to give you the benefit of the doubt.

But when it reaches an end, when he can no longer lie to himself, when you push it to a point that you truly make him mad, it's more of a snap. The times he'll lay hands on you in a truly violent way are rare, and as aforementioned, very brief. It's usually not so much of actually a blow, so much as a grab. He just can't get what he's trying to tell you through your thick head, so he stresses it, trying to make you understand as he grabs you by the upper arms, shaking you with each word, and he only stops when he sees the pain and fear in your eyes, drawing his hands back at lightning speed. He saves you from some danger very narrowly, one of the few times he lost track of you for a moment and had to frantically search before coming across you being attacked. What would I have done if something happened to you? Don't you understand that? He's so lost in the relief it takes him a moment to feel you beating on his arms in the embrace, choking and wheezing that you can't breathe, that his grip is so tight it feels like he'll snap you in half. He draws back again, and he apologizes, but it will certainly happen more than once.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Above. Like, so, so, so far above. He feels like he doesn't even deserve to look at you. Of course, neither does anyone else, so he's just, you know, stepping up to bear the burden of wrongdoing to keep people even worse than him away from you.

So it's less that you're just above him so much as you're above everyone. He's actually, perhaps surprisingly, a little bit of a pessimist about the world. The world is full of so many terrible people and so many horrible things happen that he's borne witness to. It's a "world cold and hard, (y/n) soft and warm" sort of thing. You're the one good thing, the thing that makes him happy, the ultimate source of comfort he has, and he has to prevent you from being defiled by the evil of the world, keep you innocent and sweet (even if he's just deluding himself to think you are those things in the first place).

This ties into, again, how he interprets every action you take as good and benevolent -- he has the "you can do no wrong" mentality. Even very blatantly malicious things, he'll interpret in a way that makes you somehow still come out a perfect, innocent angel. If you do harm to others, well, they simply deserved it. You did something technically wrong, but you knew no better, or you were desperate. You can't be held responsible for any of it. And if you're mean to him, well, he probably did something to make you upset.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Sort of a duality. Yes, he's very persistent. He thinks about it all the time. Every time you yell and try to run and hurl nasty insults at him, it hurts far more than you realize. He doesn't let it show on his face or in his voice, but it really does, and it gets to him sometimes. He's hyper observant of every little thing you do, your body language, your tone, the way you look at him, and the slightest of differences can change his mood internally, although it tends to look the same outwardly.

He makes little mental notes of it -- today she didn't flinch when I touched her shoulder. Today she didn't frown when she saw me coming. Little things like that will make his entire day. Likewise, the inverse kills him inside. He aims to make every day one of the former days, where the littlest signs of acceptance or even kindness and affection give him a sort of high that makes him feel like he's floating.

He tries his best to do things that he thinks will, well, earn love. Every opportunity to do something for you, he takes it. Everything he sees he'd think you'd like, he buys (or steals, or... loots from a dead body) for you. On and on that idea goes. And although he doesn't say too much, when he does speak to you, he usually has something nice to say. He views it in a formulaic way -- ironically, think about it like those collectibles in overworlds. You get enough of this or that thing, and once you have enough, you can go talk to this or that person and donate them all and get a reward, right? He's accustomed to viewing things that way. Love should be the same way. If he just completes enough tasks and gathers enough items, eventually he'll unlock your love.

That being said, even if it doesn't happen, much to your despair, he just... doesn't. Give. Up. He doesn't quit. No matter how many times you tell him, it doesn't make a difference. You can tell him you'll never love him, and it's like it goes in one ear and out the other. He keeps trying. And he never, ever, ever stops trying. What did you expect? The boy's been fighting the same enemy over and over across lifetimes, needless to say his spirit has build up some persistence.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Bonus: Zelda/Triforce of Wisdom Darling

And don't worry. If it all goes wrong, when he fails, those divergences in time where the hero is vanquished and evil wins out -- it's not the end. Somehow, that's the feeling he gets, holding your little lifeless body up, running hands across your cold skin. Somehow, he feels oddly calm. Like it hurts, but it's ok. Like he'll see you again. Maybe not soon, but one day. This time didn't work out. But the next one will.

And that's the feeling you'll always have. Every time you meet him and you feel like you've met before, the lingering memories when you wake from your dreams -- flying through skies and sailing on oceans, a child, an adult, a boy you've never met, or one you've known all your life, but it's always the same face, the same voice, the one right beside you in the waking world. You sometimes wonder if he has the same feelings, the same dreams, the same sense of something greater than yourselves at work, the sense of being just smaller pieces in a much bigger picture.

The sense of permanency, that each other is all there will ever be -- regardless of how it makes you feel, regardless of how that scares you, sometimes you feel like you can never be free. Sometimes, when you think of running away, those dark moments when you think of even escaping from life itself, it feels futile. It's as if you know it would never hold him away forever. As if death is insignificant. Perhaps in this lifetime, you'll become aware of why that is, or perhaps not.

With other obsessive lovers, just the idea of til death do us part is a terrifying thought. But, for Link, not even death can keep him away from you. Your suffering is already determined by the will of higher power, for the sake of a greater good.

In truth, it’s the goddesses who made him this way intentionally -- it’s designed to ensure your safety, even at the cost of your suffering. Again, for a greater good. Sure, you may live one lifetime to the next desperately locked in the same cycle in which your freedom and will is stripped from you, but in the end, it serves a purpose.

Nor will he change -- perhaps this one this time is a bit more spirited, more calm, more pessimistic, more optimistic... but in the end, at their core, they're the same soul, with the same will deep, deep down. The same drive to find you and protect you. The same love for you, an all-consuming love that destroys everything in its path to you and leaves ruin in its wake.

And if fate should one day keep you apart, should things change, for whatever reason, it’s unable to change him. There's another force even more powerful than fate determined to keep you together. The only thing more unavoidable, inevitable, and unescapable than fate, is Link himself.

------------------------------------

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

In moments of passion, he changes a bit, unlike other more submissive yans who stay consistent in their reverence and desire to please.

You see, after a while, being as lenient and tolerant and flexible and completely devoted as he is... constantly self-sacrificing in so many ways, to you, to Hyrule, to the world... some frustrations build up. It's a big, big bottle of emotion, all tucked away and festering, getting greater and greater and eventually it has to explode somehow.

His reservations and inhibitions fall away. Perhaps a darker, more selfish side comes out. Perhaps that's why he's so rough. He knows he'll regret it later, the bruises from how hard he grips, the marks from the bites, but the hormones and the heat takes over. He'll feel bad for defiling you. He'll apologize. And he'll do it again. And again. And again.

But once the resolve crumbles, it topples. That is, he can't partially maintain it -- if it's partially gone, it falls apart completely. He lets go, so to speak. And when he lets go, you find that underneath that carefully constructed resolve and willpower that holds him back, he can be a very, very rough and possessive lover. In his normal state, he wouldn't dare think of you as a possession, or as something he's even worthy of. He would like so, so much to think that, to feel like he's allowed to -- but he doesn't. He chastises himself for even having such a desire. But in those moments, when his resolve is gone and his brain isn't thinking quite too clearly, he might even have to audacity to say "mine." Even if it's not true, not now, maybe it will be. He would like that so much. His and his alone.

And in a moment of clarity, he might even throw away the inhibition on purpose. The more selfish side, the same Link that drags you away from your destiny -- he's already forsaken his responsibilities, hasn't he? Why care anymore about the structures that no longer exist, your status and his, if there's no kingdom left? He likes that it happened, even. This way, this time, you can throw off those titles, those roles. Without your status, your title, there's nothing stopping him from making you his. And you will be his, and nothing more. It's all you need to be. So he doesn't have to care anymore about any of that, he doesn't have to stop himself from going wild. Biting into every little spare patch of skin, covering your body with marks that make him feel comforted to see.

As far as drive it's a bit of a two-sided duality. Outwardly he's not a very sexual person at all, blushes and stutters and averts his gaze at the slightest mention of suggestive topics, tries his best to be Respectful(tm) by always looking away when you're in a compromising position, or your skirt flies up, etc etc. Given how constant his vigilance is, he has a tendency to accidentally walk in on your changing or bathing, except unlike with many yanderes, it's genuinely an accident. Not that the image doesn't stick in his mind, nor does he wish he hadn't gotten to see, but he does feel guilty, and it was genuinely unintentional. He kinda freezes up, so it takes a moment for him to actually snap out of it and run out.

That being said, he quickly develops something of a masturbation addiction when he's younger, it starts as more of a stress reliever than anything, He's so sweet and always feels bad about talking about his problems and feelings, so that and, well, violence are the only ways he can get it out. Thus he learns to channel stress and nerves into sexuality, and once he has a real living body and not just his hand, that dependency on cumming to relieve it doesn't change.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Particularly so, yes, cares quite a bit. And it takes a while for him to feel comfortable. Even consensually, the first few times he touches you for several months, he's got trembling hands and stays quieter than ever, constantly freezes up every time you move or make a noise because he thinks he's done something wrong. He has to be coaxed into feeling more comfortable before he gets used to it, but he will build confidence over time.

As addressed before, though, if he's pushed and pushed and pushed long enough, you can get a darker side to come out. This is most likely something that would only occur post-kidnapping in a distant time, once he's far away from any possibility of consequence and destruction has set in to the world around you. He starts to get a little bitter, if you've been mean to him. It all builds up. Don't you get that he's literally saved your life? That he devoted every waking second to you? Isn't he kinda entitled to some thanks? The cycle of time never rewards him. Even the figures he helps over time rarely give him more than a verbal praise and thanks, maybe an item here or there, and then disappear. His role feels thankless. He starts to feel like he deserves something, something tangible, in return.

Surprisingly, though, he actually does not take the route of guilt-tripping or emotional manipulation or gaslighting his way into it like a lot of the sweeter yanderes when he does have that snap. His snaps/breakdowns are rather extreme in terms of how much of a polar opposite they are to his normal state, rather than just a slight bend of his normal personality. Rather than taking the route of most yanderes like himself, he just gets directly physically forceful. Still somewhat sweet, though, reminds you he loves you, he'd die for you, you're his entire world. You'd argue that doesn't really change the actions, but considering how frightening he is in that state, you're not dumb enough to vocalize that.

The guilt consumes him alive afterwards. Like, immediately afterwards. He's still panting and twitching and buried inside when it sets in. That being said, he doesn't get to stuttering and profusely apologizing, like he does over smaller offenses. It's all done and he can't take it back, so he just kinda collapses and says nothing. He's not the best with words, you know. It's an odd mixture of guilt and, honestly, a bit of satisfaction and relief. It feels like letting go of some self-imposed burden, that feeling of finally surrendering to some deep want, even if it comes with a lot of remorse, the relief of finally letting go does have a good feeling as well... and because of that, it’s another one of those barriers that, once broken, can’t be built up again.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

In all honesty the boy is, for the most part, a fairly gentle and vanilla lover. He doesn't really need anything special to get off -- he's easily excited and cums very very easily too. Just the prospect of getting to stick his dick in you in any capacity is enough to make him nearly burst at the thought honestly.

In general, as aforementioned, he's very very cautious and gentle to a point, but has a tendency to get actually kinda rough once he gets into it. The thing is, the roughness aspect is actually unintentional. He's one of those boys that is a little bit unaware of his own strength, doesn't process exactly how hard and fast he's going. He just gets lost in the feeling, kinda enters a dazed lusty haze where he's less aware of his actions. Doesn't realize he's literally got an iron grip pressing your head down on his dick or into the bed until you start flailing your hands because you can't breathe. Doesn't realize how hard he was gripping until he sees the bruises on your arms and hips later. That sort of deal -- poor thing is just unaware and doesn't have enough blood in his brain to think straight.

Biting

Surprisingly a really big one for him. (Remnants of a past life cycle with some lupine experiences perhaps?) In all seriousness, he could not explain exactly why if asked, it's one of those "I just like it" sort of things. It feels like yet another way to conjoin the two bodies, pulls you close. The marking aspect is also nice. Granted, he feels guilty afterwards, tries to help it heal. He has that same duality where moments ago he was this intimidating beast of a human being, rough and growly and jerking you like you were weightless, and now he's back to this bright eyed softie stuttering while he apologizes.

The guilt is mixed with a bit of enjoyment, though. It's constantly conflicting -- sure, part of him understands it's embarrassing and will help you cover up, but part of him doesn't want to, he wants people to see. Part of him looks at the marks and tells himself internally to never do that again, and part of him sees them and just wants to give you even more. It's a constant internal conflict, poor thing.

As far as a place, he likes the neck and shoulders best, simply because it's the most visible and it's the most passionate ones to create, when your bodies are tightly locked together. That being said, though, he also has a thing for biting at the insides of your thighs. It's another one of those I just like it sort of things.

Sometimes, when you're asleep, or pretending to be, you can feel him trace the bite marks with his fingers, softly running them over the circular pattern, just enough to barely ghost over your flesh.

Somnophilia

It puts him at ease. This one is particularly prevalent towards the beginning of your relationship, before you really know... how he is. He has this image of you as so pure and he couldn't bear the thought of defiling you with his horrible horrible thoughts. The guilt eats away at him for a while, but eventually he just can't hold back, but how could he ever do anything to you and risk consequence? So... the solution he comes up with is waiting until you sleep.

He tests the waters to see how heavy of a sleeper you are. Calls your name at increasing volume, lightly runs his fingers over your hair, pokes your face, whispers in your ear, runs his hands over your arms. Just to see what makes you rustle, if anything, so he knows the limits. If it turns out you're an incredibly light sleeper, well, unfortunately that means he's limited to just jerking off to your sleeping form, but that's ok. Just seeing your soft face and the cute way you breathe, the slightest way your lips open, that's enough for him.

If it turns out you're a heavier sleeper though, well, he tries to fight the temptation, but ends up going further. Slowly climbs onto your bed, careful to make the weight shift as gently as possible. Slowly pulls the covers back. Runs his hands up and down. It's a lot better when he can actually see your body as he jerks off, honestly. If he's feeling particularly risky, he might press your thighs together, feel how soft your skin is to his cock, how nice the squeezing pressure between them is.

He gets easily lost in a haze, though, so he inevitably ends up accidentally cumming on you and has to frantically find a way to lightly dab it up without waking you. He panics quite a bit, but that doesn't stop him from doing it again the very next night.

Overstimulation/Forced Orgasm

It just means he's doing a good job, really. Sure, you squeal and kick your feet back and forth and tug at his hair, but that's just because it feels good. Orgasms equate to love and feel good, right? Sure there's a little bit of pain when you go overboard, but then it just leads to feeling even better, right?

It's kind of an irrational compulsion rather than a logical goal, though. He just has an impulsive need to feel you quiver and spasm and clench, it basically gives him a chemical high hit and a wave of reassurance, makes him feel good in both the physical sense and the emotional sense. The first one sends him into this compulsive need to feel it over and over and over again, as many times as he can. It's another one of his internal conflict things -- sure, he knows it's hurting, but he just has to get one more. Just one more. But of course, every time turns into "just one more" when he's been saying that for half an hour now.

And, to be honest, it kind of gives him a pride boost to think he can make you cum against your will. How many people struggle to achieve that even when both parties are trying? It makes him feel good in an adequacy sort of way, he feels needed.

Size Kink/Distension

You know, there's a well-known thing among the male-lovers in this world when it comes to size. It's never the arrogant, loud guys, it's never the social butterflies, it's never the tall guys, it's never the beefy muscly guys. No, they're not the ones that end up somehow bestowed with absolute monster cocks. It's always the soft, lean boys who don't talk much. And they're always painfully unaware of it, too.

He's no exception. Not to the size or the complete lack of awareness. He hasn't spent a lot of time around guys his age too much, he's always been the one sent for some special task and ends up out in the wilderness by himself on journeys, or, in some lifetimes, accompanying you most of the time. He doesn't know what the average dick looks like, so he has no idea he's far above average.

This might sound like a plus, and of course in some ways it is, but also he doesn't think about the fact that the average body isn't properly equipped to handle it. You're supposed to just kinda put it in, that's how the sex works, right? Poor thing, especially if it's entirely consensual sex, he's just kinda ???? because why are you in pain? What is he doing wrong? You have to eventually explain it's literally just his body, not something he's doing.

That being said, naturally, he's a humble person, but hearing you say that does kinda... make him feel good inside. A little bit proud. He's not a person who takes a lot of pride in many things, so he likes having this one thing, and quickly notices you can visibly see it through the bulge it makes in your stomach. Especially if it's in a position where your back is pressed to his front, every little movement creates the bulge, so expect to get a lot of that.

He doesn't really bring it up much or talk about it when he's actually fucking you, it's more like, as with many things, something he's quietly aware of and silently enjoys a lot internally, even if it's not voiced.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

Yes and no. It has to do with his overactive protection instinct. What if something happened or went wrong? He couldn't take that. He couldn't lose you.

At the same time, he likes kids, and he's very good with them, very patient. And over time, realizes that a kid would be the perfect tool of manipulation, and besides that, isn't it a beautiful thing, an ultimate manifestation of love?

So how to work around that... Ultimately, what he decides to do is have a kid... Just not by blood. There are plenty of orphans in Hyrule, wandering the streets and the wilderness, picking one up is easy. ...You wouldn't leave this poor child to suffer out there, to fend for themselves, would you? Nor would you leave him to take care of it by himself... Right?

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Oh, it's not like he thinks of it that way. He would call it... a reminder. You put yourself in danger again? You tried to go back again? You were gone and for ten whole minutes he didn't know where you were? What could the solution to this issue be? The only thing his brain can really come up with is making sure you need him. Making sure you're content and satisfied here with him so you don't go running off.

Thus we return to the forced orgasm thing -- see, you do need him. It feels good, right? You say it hurts, and maybe it does a little, but ultimately you wouldn't be cumming if it wasn't good. No one else can ever do that. No one else knows you like this. No one else was made for you like this. You can't replace him. You need him. And he can keep going as many times as it takes until you see that, too. Even if he gets milked dry, he has a mouth and hands for a reason.

And by "until you see that," I mean until you say it. In his more... emotionally intense moments, he gets a bit insistent. He needs to hear you say it. Admit it to yourself. And to him. That you need him, that you depend on him, that you'll never leave again. And don't think your patience and tolerance can stand a chance of outlasting his -- it will keep going until you say it.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

He's one of those wholesome type of boys who goes with something sweet. He says maybe your hair, your face, your skin, your eyes. It's all so comforting. So familiar. Of course, not to say that he doesn't like your less wholesome mentionable parts, but he wants to be chivalric about such a question, and feels answering that way would be too disrespectful.

In his unspoken thoughts, though, he likes the hips. It's a part of you he can grab onto and hold you close with. He puts his hands there a lot and holds tight, like he feels like at any moment you could slip out of his grasp. And, I mean, it's nice to look at, can't forget that.

#atml #scheduled post #yandere x reader #yandere legend of zelda #yandere link

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alltheworldsinmyhead · 4 years ago

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ON FEYSAND’S PLOTLINE IN ACOSF

!!!!MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE ACOSF!!!!

Let’s be honest for a while, okay?

ACOCF had potential to be SJM’s best book, if not for any other reason then because of the sheer idea of it. Coming-of-age, healing story of the most complex and polarizing character she has ever created set in the time of peace, away from the familiar setting (according to the later changed concept which still remains in the snippet at the end of ACOFAS), development of her arguably most feisty and angsty love story... It could be her absolute trumph. Even with the change to stick to Velaris instead of exploring the Illyrian culture of the Mountains and with the added conflict of the Mortal Queens and Koshei, it still could work quite well.

It didn’t. For many, many reasons, but the most important one, in my opinion, being the feysand pregnancy plot.

Nothing about this plotline made sense. Not a single thing. From start to finish, it was an absolute disaster from the character-writing POV, from the narration POV, from every single context of it. It broke the rules of real-life logic, it broke the rules of this fantasy world setting and it completely exposed that Rhysand, while not a bad guy, is a pretty terrible partner, even worse ruler and an absolutely terrible contender for the High King title.

Let’s break this whole mess down (and expect this post to be mammoth-sized. it’s not my fault, though, write to SJM if you have any complains):

1) Feyre, 21, decides to get pregnant, even though less than a year earlier, she expresses the delight with not being forced to bear children to her new mate and told him herself she wants to wait a while and enjoy her life with him. Feyre decides she wants a baby though and Rhysand goes along with it, even though he is aware how young Feyre is and how hard her life has been up until this point. He wants a baby too much to have an honest discussion with Feyre about it, to stop and wonder what is the reason for her sudden change of heart, to reassure her that they have a lot of time ahead of them and don’t need to rush. No. She mades a sudden decision to have a baby after A YEAR OF MARRIAGE and not much more of being turned fae, JUST AFTER having her whole world put upside down, having received a completely new title and responsibilities, surviving the wat and being mated. Great.

2) Feyre decides to get pregnant and Rhys goes along with it less than a year after the end of the bloody war. It is politically a delicate time, everyone is still not sure how the balance will shift, some countries don;t want to sign the peace treaty, etc. There are a lot of enemies and a lot of turmoil remaining. But sure. Let’s have a baby. Perfect time to add yet another target, another weakness that can be use by the Mortal Queens, Beron or whatever else with malicious intent towards the Night Court.

2) Feyre gets pregnant after approximately a year of trying. I know healthy people of reproductive age for whom it takes ages more than this. Fae’s pregnancies are rare af and precious and happen once in a blue moon, but ofc SJM broke the world’s rules for her darling Feyre. And again, for Kallas and Vivianne who are also expecting the baby, even though it has been a maximum of 3 years since they’ve mated. 3 years is also not a particularly long time to try to have a baby for those who have issues with their reproductive systems like Fae women. Thank you, next.

3) Rhys has unprotected sex with Feyre in her Illyrian form when she conceives, even though he knows full well having a winged baby would kill her. He does it anyway, for shits and giggles apparently. They probably have sex in the sky above Velaris, for all we know.

4) The baby has wings. Now, the whole explanation with Illyrian wings being bony (bc they resemble bat wings) and Seraphin ones being more flexible (bc they resemble bird ones) is so insanely stupid that it takes around 3 seconds to wikipedia this shit and find out it’s exactly the opposite. But okay, the baby has wings and Feyre will die while giving birth, along with the baby. Madja forbids Feyre from turning into an Illyrian to carry the pregnancy because it MIGHT hurt the baby. Now, remember, Feyre conceived while in Illyrian form and then turned into High Fae. The baby survived it just fine. The baby MIGHT be hurt by Feyre turning .... but it will FOR SURE die if she stays High Fae and Feyre will too. Idk about you, but I would take the risk of MIGHT instead of FOR SURE. Especially when she is already in labour and dying. Cauldron or Nesta or idk who alters Feyre’s pelvis after the baby is cut out of her for no apparent reason but to allow feysand to make exactly the same mistakes later on. How convinient. And Nesta also alters her own pelvis bc god forbid she won’t be able give Cassian babies like the little useful mate she is now. She should’ve probably done it with Elain too, just in case she decides to fuck Az in the future, because fuck consequences and fuck the stakes in the story that make the readers actually CARE about characters bc they know the author may actually kill them and not save their life every fucking time.

5) I don’t even want to comment on the fact Rhys hid the true danger of this pregnancy for Feyre and their family went along with it. It is absolutely disgusting. And Nesta telling her and that being condemned as the act of the ultimate cruelty which is a final straw to break her self-loathing back.... is abhorrent. It made my sick, actually, phisically sick. There is no justification for it. No at all. And the fact that they did not even consider abortion sends a message that I really don’t want to think too much about it. Feyre was 2 months along when they learned the baby is winged. 2 months. 8 weeks. It wasn’t a baby yet, let’s be honest. They could’ve at least discussed it. She - oh my god, I cannot believe SJM wrote it this way, I’m gonna be sick.

6) For the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, they have no plan to really help her. Labour plan? Haven’t heard if it. They have money and power and access to the healers of the whole land. And did not figure out how to stop her from bleeding out after a fucking C-section. THIS WORLD HAS MAGIC AND THEY COULDN’T STOP HER FROM BLEEDING OUT AFTER A FUCKING C-SECTION. Didn’t even ask Thesan, the High Lord of Healing, to be present. Cassian had guts hanging out of his stomach and survived. Az was fucking slashed apart in Hybern and survived. But yeah, Feyre was on a brink of death after a C-section. Great, Sarah. Keep it up. Let’s force the thought into young girls’ heads that labour is the most lethal thing ever, why not.

7) Also, for the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, Rhys keeps quiet about this idiotic bargain. He, as far as we know, doesn’t make any plans for the moment when him and Feyre and possibly their baby are dead. If they died and baby survived.. who would take care of it? Does Rhys have a conversation with his family about it? NAH. Doesn’t write any sort of plan how to keep the Court going, doesn’t inform even the closest of his co-workers how they should proceed to act after he’s gone and his and Feyre’s power go to god-knows-who. Their deaths would mean a sure chaos for the weakend and fragile Prythian and the Night Court especially and yet nor Rhys nor Feyre make any sort of preparations for it. Rhys doesn’t tell his brothers or Mor or HIS SECOND IN COMMAND they will all soon have to somehow manage without him. He was about to just leave them to their own devices and told them in the last. possible. moment.

And this man - this man is, according to Amren, the best candidate to handle the whole country? To unite it? This fool who makes idiotic bargains, who thinks first about his cock and his own selfish desires and considers his subjects and his responsibilities as a High Lord last and least important of all? Who has so much trust in his wife, in his High Lady, the mother of his son that he doesn’t tell her she will almost surely die on a birthing bed because it MAY UPSET HER?

This plotline was the straw that broke my back. ACOTAR, at it’s heart has always been a ya fantasy with added ‘spice’ and I was willing to bend my critical-thinking skills in many cases and forget and forgive many smaller idiotic issues in this series. But this? It is not idiotic. It is massive and stupid to the point when it becomes insulting to the reader. It was a plot straight out of a bad fanfic, not something that should be in a published book written by someone who writes for a living. You could even argue that Twilight has handled this toxic trope better. I have wasted my money on this book and thinking about it will always be painful for me. So yeah.

ACOSF could be great. Ended up quite pathetic.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames #rhysand #feysand

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bl00dh0rs3 · 2 years ago

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I think the reason theres such a Great Divide between how people feel about villains getting redemption arcs is the fact that 1.) Nobody knows what redemption means anymore (ie. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with forgiveness), and 2.) People on a large scale lack an understanding of... who these former-villains are made for.

Admittedly this is largely based on a personal theory i have, that They are made for and by people who feel like they've done bad things in the past, things they personally feel remorseful for but, because its the past, cant necessarily do anything about, even if they themselves have improved and grown as an individual. I say that bc i know thats why I value redemption arcs as much as i do.

Am i the same person who did those things anymore? No, not by a long shot. But not everyone would think so, and I'm aware of that by nature of just. Knowing how to imagine myself in other ppls shoes, and understanding that nobody can ever know anybody else's full story + that will never stop anyone from making judgements based on what they DO know.

There's ALWAYS someone out there who will hate you, think you are the literal scum of the earth, the devil incarnate. There are almost 8 billion people on this planet. This is a fact.

And ideally, in knowing this, we'd be able to brush it off and continue on, content in the fact that we can't control how other people feel and willing to improve ourselves despite that fact. However--humans care. By default. We are social creatures that want to feel liked and welcomed because once upon a time, being loathed by the other humans around you had the potential to mean death.

So we worry. Our actions and their repercussions haunt us and make us MISERABLE, and there is nothing we can do to change that fact.

Just as well--that misery? It helps no one. Absolutely fucking no one.

But it cannot simply be shrugged off by most people, as I established before. So, what exactly are we supposed to do? Obviously--we're supposed to work through those feelings. And lo and behold, story crafting is a FANTASTIC way of doing just that! You can be as literal or as figurative as you want, whatever helps YOU, as a writer, breathe easier, and move forward with the energy and confidence to be a better person than you were before tackling those complex, painful, scary feelings.

Redemption arcs are self soothing wish fulfillment--and i mean this in an entirely positive way. We need to be able to believe that we can change FIRST, in order to change at all. If every story we see kills off every single bad person they portray--how does that affect us, subconsciously? What sort of underlying bias does it instill? The idea that once a person does something awful, that theres no turning back? No coming back EVER? Maybe. Who knows! I think that's fucking depressing, close minded, and detrimental to everyone exposed to it.

All I know is that when i was in a short phase of absolutely loathing redemption arcs along with everyone else, I was in a stage of my life where i hated myself to the point of self harm. Because i believed i was genuinely fucking evil for all the things id said and done as an ignorant child, and that there was no way back, and that i NEEDED to suffer to 'repent'. And i did not grow up in a highly Christian household--so Where exactly did that mindset come from, hmm? Sounds a little familiar, don't it.

... The point im trying to get at here, is this;

Redemption arcs are not made for victims.

They are made for perpetrators.

They are made by an author, to show other "bad people" in the world that, "hey. you are not set in stone. You are alive and you have free will and you can make different choices. Here is how, and here is why."

Now--i know what youre about to say. "But jack most redemption arcs suck and dont actually say any of those things!!! They just let the villain get off scott free with a happily ever after without doing any of the hard work on screen of Actually changing!" To which, i have a few things to ask you about.

1.) Was that ACTUALLY an attempted redemption arc? Or did the villain just happen to survive the climax of the story, and was momentarily shown to have had a change of heart, finally?

.... iiiiiiiiiiimplying that they are going to START their work towards redemption.... post-canon?

2.) So what? Sometimes stories and the tropes within them aren't written well. A shitty redemption is not different from a shitty romance or a shitty hero's journey. Not everyone is Shakespeare, and not everything has to be made to your standards. If you don't like it, you don't have to look at it. That doesn't mean you should write off the entire Concept as inherently bad.

And 3.) I will also challenge you to consider just how personal your reading of a character's redemption arc is. Like I'm saying--redeemed villains are not made for victims. They are made to address and dig into the meat of just how awful someone of human intelligence can be, and try to wrangle an idea of HOW that person can come out of it somehow, healthier, happier, and kinder.

They have to address sensitive topics, more often than not. Like it is literally required--if the villain never does anything BAD, theres no story. Theres nothing for them to pursue redemption ABOUT. And those sensitive topics can bring out the ire of people who have been through them--obviously! And that is not the fault of the viewer! You have every right to feel how you feel, and hate a villain as much as you want for it--but try to REMEMBER that that is where your feelings of distaste are coming from, when attempting to criticize the thing you are watching--especially if youre going to be especially vitriolic about it in the faces of people who enjoy that villain, and their redemption arc.

You have every right to not like it--but take a moment to analyze WHY before claiming it's "bad".

It probably just wasn't written for you.

We live in a world that already encourages so much cruelty--but, people can heal and feel motivated to do better by watching redemption arcs play out for characters that they see themselves in.

Even if you think it's shallow--does it actually MATTER if it is or not? I don't think so. I don't give a fuck what's going on in someones head--as long as they are treating the people and world around them with kindness and respect, I think that's all that should matter. Actions speak louder than words and all that. People are allowed to want to be better because it feels good. People NEED to be allowed to want to feel good, if it means shirking harmful habits and mentalities. Do you get what im saying?

Obviously there's plenty of nuance to these situations--in regards to fictional characters, there is inherently more give in what a character can do. They are not real. Nobody is actually getting hurt. So, pushing them to the FARTHEST LIMITS of how bad a person can be, and coming back? It's like a power fantasy, with a self reflective twist. And power fantasies are not inherently bad, either.

How heartwarming is it, to imagine that even that terrible tyrant who slaughtered innocents and razed cities can feel remorse? For them to give everything they have to help rebuild what they destroyed, and show compassion for the people they've hurt, and vowing to never let it happen again?

Because if even that terrible man on the screen can change--then of course I can change, too. Of course I, a person who's merely made a few callous comments and emotional scarred an ex by being a toxic asshole, can be better. I HAVE to be. It is an obligation.

An obligation that I may have otherwise seen as an insurmountable obstacle. Because I did. Thats what I saw it is as. I had been convinced that every bad thing I did, made me who I was. That everyone could just see it on my face--and that if they didn't, all they'd need to do was look a little bit closer before being repulsed by what they saw. It made me bitter and mean and I had so few friends I felt like I could actually be open with. I am still dealing with the repercussions of that mentality today--it is the source of quite literally All Of My Woes.

You've all seen my vent posts. All that shit? Consequences of this. This is why my lows go as low as they do--and This is why I am SO passionate about my villainous blorbos. This is why I love redemption arcs. They remind me that there is still hope for me--that there is still hope for everyone. You might enjoy living as a pessimist--but not everyone has the fortitude to maintain that attitude on a healthy level.

So when you see someone who is enjoying a villian you hate, and its making silly content of them being redeemed and goofing off and being happy and alive and loved--have a little compassion. That person its probably dealing with some shit, too. So just let it be.

#horse.txt #rant //#sort of #not sparked by anything in particular its just been on my mind lately n i woke up feeling like puttin it down

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bloodied-teardrops · 4 years ago

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ok i still have more ideas with our player

i prefer anemo!traveler bc no offense to zhongli here but geo is currently garbage

and i wonder how a self aware venti and zhongli would react to this

i feel like venti would have this childish pride over it since according to his dear player, he is the better element, while zhongli would stew quietly in anger and shame because he couldn't please you with his own element

also i would like to talk about the wish mechanics

i have a feeling that various playable characters, whether you rolled them or not, are aware of the wish mechanic and are flattered when you try to get them. i feel like they would maybe tip the scales a little, make it easier to get them in particular while reducing the percentages of other characters. and if they're all in? then the percentages are jumping all over the place, and every day their anxiety over the game finding out grows steadily. they smile when you get them.

and if you're unable to get them, say they're a promotional character and you've missed their banner, i imagine they'd be pretty bummed about it. im particularly imagining venti here since the wind goblin didnt come home for me

I vaguely understand how to use Geo!Traveler but for the longest time, Anemo!Traveler was my only Anemo character so I just kept Lumine as Anemo and used Noelle for Geo things except when I needed the construct. Then Zhongli came home and I never needed Geo!Traveler again lol

Venti is so smug about it. Sure, he may be the weakest Archon, but clearly he provides the better element with you preferring his element. Opening snickering at Zhongli’s almost unnoticeable sulking.

It’s such a shame the game mechanics won’t let Zhongli show you the true potential for the Geo element. If only he could show you in person.

THE FUCKING ASS DILUC CONTINUES TO REFUSE TO COME HOME I WANT HIS DAMAGE DAMN IT

Venti is praying for another chance to be available if that’s the case lol

The ones who are constant are very happy to hold the fact that they have a better chance than the ones in the promos. And even if you did manage to roll them, you’re unlikely to invest fully if a lot of their abilities are locked in their constellations (coughzhonglicough)

#Let’s Discuss ♡#♡ Writing ♡#Sweet Citrus ○#Genshin ◇ Impact #Venti ♡#Zhongli ♡

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dwellordream · 4 years ago

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how does being with charity slot into regulus’ current beliefs? like he has to know she’d be horrified if she knew he was a death eater, and that their relationship right now hinges on their mutual denial. is he questioning his fucked worldview a little bit at this point, or is it more of an “oh well she’s one of the good ones and her mom is a Fawley soo” justification to himself? (1/3)

like god their relationship is just so compelling and horrifying all at once. and there’s so many sad layers to it bc you can really feel that charity isn’t exceptionally romantic in her feelings toward him, but that this is one of the first times she’s felt seen and cared for by someone other than family, but it’s by someone who’s a bigot… and I think it’s kind of equally an escape for him from being a death eater and from his home life, although the vibe I’ve gotten is that he feels a little more strongly for her than she does him… sorry for the word vomit, I just feel very strongly about regulus and charity… I really love caritas a lot and I also love that you are honest in your portrayal of regulus, rather than going with the woobified brooding misunderstood bad boy treatment he gets by a lot of the fandom There's a lot at play here and I want to avoid spoilers so I will break it down this way. I think much as Charity downplays and denies the fact that Regulus is from a family of potentially violent bigots and that most of his friends are violent bigots, he downplays the fact that her father is a muggle and that she is estranged from her pureblood mother. It is easy for him to avoid thinking about the fact that Charity leads an essentially 'muggle' and mundane life when not at Hogwarts. Much as it is easy for her to avoid thinking about the fact that he spends his free time in very hateful blood purist circles. Is that becoming harder to ignore at time goes on, yes, for both of them. Is any of this leading Regulus to question his beliefs, well, that would be telling, right? If he's having some sort of crisis of conscience he certainly hasn't clued Charity onto this. He is also very aware that his brother is on the verge of being excommunicated from the family for his rebellion against said heinous beliefs. And above all else, Regulus has a deep, almost religious devotion to his parents and family elders. The idea of questioning and disobeying them is disturbing to him. Does that excuse his actions, of course not. He's 17, not 7. He is a teenager, yes, and his judgement is poor because of that, but he's old enough to understand that hurting innocent people due to your beliefs is wrong. I think part of what I wanted to explore with Charity is how people often fall into these circles of bigoted and even violent people. How are people radicalized into hate groups? Often it's because the first time they experience real affection, love, and praise is from someone from one of those radical groups. The group becomes their family. This is not to say Charity is about to take a turn for the dark side. But we can see through her POV how tempting and convenient it is to just forget all that nasty unpleasantness and just enjoy being with someone who confides in you, who treats you like you're valuable and special to them. The real difference between Charity and Regulus is that she has a supportive and loving parent and sibling at home. He does not. If Charity didn't have a happy home life, I think she would be far more susceptible to being infected with this fucked up world view. Because she has those ties, even if they feel distant while she's at school, she has a stronger sense of self, even if she thinks of herself as being weak and pathetic and ugly. Regulus, for all that he is popular with his Slytherin peers and seen as attractive and smart, does not have that support system at home. He grew up understanding love is conditional, and that if you displease people who love you, they can take that love away and punish you. So yes, spending time with her is for him, something of a guilty escape. He knows he shouldn't be doing this. He knows he could put her in very real danger, and he knows he is not being honest with her. He knows there is no hope that this lasts once they've graduated. But it allows him to distract himself from the reality of his life. And the reality of his life is that he's made some decisions from which he can't come back, and he knows this. All that to say, as you mention, I didn't want

to woobify Regulus or portray him as a tragic bad boy with no responsibility for his actions. I think you can write a complex character who does bad things and believes in bad things without making them out to be an innocent victim in all of this. I try to portray him honestly. Charity knows this relationship is not good, even if it's not romantic on her end. It's not coming from a good place. He is not good for her. But they are both human and humans often do things against their own best interests and morals because of feelings of love and loyalty.

#caritas #ask #anon #charity burbage #regulus black

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mnxxlove · 5 years ago

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Hey! I was hoping for 3, 9, & 12 with obi-wan please? 💕

SECRET AFFAIR

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Prompts:

3; secret dating.

9; smut or fluff.

12; age gap.

Word Count: 2717

Summary: Y/n and General Kenobi, have been having a secret affair ever since the war began. But they haven’t gotten time or privacy to be all by themselves. They barely had news about each other, which made their relationship to be dangerously needy and not as conservative as they wanted it to be. Suddenly, one day, she gets the news that she’s going to be accompanying him and General Skywalker to protect their old common friend, the senator Amidala.

Their relationship has always been strictly professional, but once they get alone, it's just Y/n and him. Meanwhile, Anakin has a private talk with Padmé and the chancellor, Obi-wan and Y/n sloped off for a few minutes.

warnings: unprotected sex (do not do that. you ought to always use protection!), super light smut, old language(?(, age gap(-4), fluff, and I added a bit of angst, bc I’m build like that.

Thanks for your request love 🌹

gif not mine;

It was too early in the morning, not even the clouds were letting the rays of sunshine to brighten the city of Coruscant, and she was already upset with the whole Council. They've decided to make a decision that involved her, without her being present. And she later on, got warmed about it as always.... As much as she wanted to make decisions for herself, she was still not having enough privilege to do so. She could not stand it. But still, to this day, she needed to bite her bottom lip, nod and do as it was said.

"Did I hear you clearly? Am I going on my first ever solo mission?" Her voice sounded in a mix of excitement and exasperation. Such as if she could not believe what she did hear coming from her master's mouth.

"I have never said you were going all by yourself." Mace spoke seriously, his eyes staying wide opened while he stared at her in expectation. Y/n raised her chin, to look at him directly in the eyes, to then keep her breath right deep inside her lungs.

"Look, it's not that we don't trust you –." Her master continued, his voice soothing this time. But she did not care at all, so she talked back without thinking, then interrupting him abruptly.

"Well, it looks like it." Her voice did not sound with anger but with disappointment, instead.

There was a big pause between them. Mace sighed, raising one of his arms while making her a signal for her to take a seat just right in front of him. Pressing her lips in a thin line, she sat, legs crossed, just as he was sitting. He was having his mouth opened, but any kind of words weren't escaping from his mouth. She did not have any idea about how long they decided to stay quiet. Seconds felt like minutes, and it did haunt her, making her feel pressured and quite too anxious. Y/n tried to keep her gaze steady on her brown robes, but his sudden voice got her by surprise, making her raise her face immediately.

"I gave my word, not them. They just agreed. I see potential in you, but I do not want you to go on a suicidal mission all by yourself, indeed." He continued, making her let out a deep breath of exhaustion. "General Kenobi and General Skywalker will accompany you in this mission, as long as the events do not change, of course..." He added, his voice calmed. Mace continued talking after that, but she did not hear anything clearly, it was too late. Her mind and thoughts were clouded by him again. Obi-wan's voice could easily trumble inside her head, making her feel completely lost. His subtle scent of vanilla and smoke was completely unforgettable, and easy to remember. Sometimes, it was that easy to imagine him with her, that she would not help but to sob. Imagining his presence was not the same as feeling the cozyness she would feel around him. The touch of his fingertips or the caress of his lips... It was too much to handle, and her heartbeat by consequence, began to pound rapidly. Making her master, to easily notice that her composure changed from then of sudden.. Mace did not say anything else, he just stared in confusion.

"I- I need to go. Excuse me, master." Her voice now way more softened, stuttered, while getting up from her seat. Her master did not say a word back, he just gave her a light nod while closing his eyes.

Y/n's heartbeat pounded hard and fast in her chest, it almost hurt. Feeling herself choking, she walked rapidly by the long corridors way to her quarters. Her right hand placed just where her heart should be. But it wasn't, because her heart left the same day he did. Her chest would raise and lower rapidly, while she could not help but to feel the adrenaline running through her veins once again. She was not used knowing anything about him, and when she did get any type of information, it would feel bitter but still pleasant to know and be aware that he was still alive, far away from her and achieving what he always desired.

Swallowing hard, she opened the door from her quarters and once she was already inside, she closed the door behind her, to then, resting her back on it. The room had a blueish subtone, making her understand that the clouds were still hiding the sun. She took a deep breath, her eyes kept closed, trying to find any kind of relaxation. Suddenly, she let herself fall to the ground, sliding her back down slowly. Her forearms then, resting on her knees, while she hid her face in desperation. Y/n's feelings have never been mixed up, as talking about Obi-wan, she loved him, truly. And he did as well.

It was madness! They were too reckless back then, to know certainly what they were truly feeling for each other, nevertheless, they were mature enough to take that one step, they needed to take and so they did, formally dating and having a serious and mature relationship. They knew that whatever they were feeling was true and honest.

And so, none of them wanted to leave the council, so, they decided to keep it as a secret, although they knew it was practically impossible at a certain time to know anything about each other, meanwhile he was up, fighting in galaxies far away from Coruscant.

The rest of the morning, she spent it inside the four walls of her cozy quarters. Wishing the hours and minutes to run as fast as possible for her to finally meet with him, after being apart from each other, for months. It was going to happen, and she was not ready. She didn't need time, y/n knew right deep inside her heart, that she was never going to be able to be ready to meet with him again... Impatiently, she let her hand travel up, to her collar, grabbing the necklace he gave her. It was the only thing she owned from him, and she did not want to lose it. She could not be able to apologise herself, if she ever loses it... Mace told her that they would be in Coruscant in a few hours, and it has already passed a few hours, making her feel completely irritated. A normal person would wait someone such as taking a seat or distracting itself, making some time for it's own, making useful things and to not waste minutes or mostly, hours not doing anything. However, on the other hand, she preferred to walk all over her quarters, stepping her feet rapidly on the floor.

Y/n was all nerves and insecurity at the moment, but she did stop feeling like that just for a matter of second. When the communicator from her bedroom did warn her that they already arrived. Before getting out of her place, having her eyes closed, she decided to calm herself down or anyone at this point, would notice that something was wrong with her. Having her mind clear, and a neutral face on, now, she left and walked until arriving to the furthest living, in which were always used for making private reunions. Approaching, she noticed that there were a few bodyguards protecting the entrance, but they noticed her clothes and the body of her lightsaber placed on her belt, and so, they let her in.

“It has been far too long.” Padmé admitted, a bright smile curving on her lips, while she looked at both not only Jedi, but her old friends.

The whole place was in complete silence, or at least it was until Y/n decided to step a foot inside the living. She seemed relaxed, or at least she was, until she noticed that not only the senator was there. Suddenly, all eyes were marked on her, and she tripped on both her feet accidentally, almost falling but still managed to get on her way to the senator, obviously, trying not to keep as much eye contact as she could with Obi-wan.

“Glad to see that you’re alright..” She gasped out of sudden once passing her shaky, sweaty hands by her tight shirt. She did grab Amidala’s hand to then take Anakin’s and Obi-wan’s too. Her words were fast and almost improvised, and Obi-wan knew it. He knew her more than she knew her own self. But he did not remember her as exactly as she looked at that precise moment, still, she was the same clumsy girl whom he decided to fall head over heels for, when he was just a young boy.

She was not going to ignore it. She could not be able to. It was impossible to ignore the fact that she has been craving for him to be with her, to stay just where she was at the moment, and not being able to gaze at his piercing blue eyes, at least once. Although she would’ve loved to have the guts to, she knew that if she did so, she would be lost. Whereas, on the other hand, he could not be able to stop staring at her. Her hair was now longer, falling down her back. And she was still keeping two braids placed as a crown, such as how she used to hairstyle her hair when she had no time for. Her face seemed way more brighter than he was able to remember, but she still owned that heavenly smile, which he adored and missed so much.

The chat did not last for so long. It was clear that their job was going to be about protecting the senator, or at least that was their mission for now on. Once everything was said, Y/n excused herself not after giving to her lover a grin. Once she was already out, Obi-wan did excused himself as well, and he did walk towards the exit. Finding her, waiting for him.

“Long time no see...” He admitted, smiling ear to ear. His eyes brightened as cristal. Obi’s voice sounded amusing, and it was understandable. She felt the same way too. Having him with her was good, but at the same time, too risky..

“Likewise.” She breathed out, to then smile back at him. The energy between them was speechless, their words always soft and careful, most knowing that they were still on the catch of the eye of anyone.

Although none of them would still admit it, their eyes were full with emotion, and words weren’t needed at that moment. It was left clear between each other, that they did miss each other like madly. Although, the verbal language was not used at any given moment between them, they were sure about it.

“So, how are things going?” She cleared her throat.

“Anakin has gotten his first ever padawan... She's strong but reckless.” Obi-wan admitted in a sigh and it immediately made her chuckle.

“So, were we.” She affirmed, having a playful smile marked on her lips. Obi just smiled back at her, his chin lowered and his eyes closed.He was happy, and so was she. They’ve been together, at the same place for less than an hour, but he was sure that he needed to ‘have a talk with her’. Without saying anything else, they just had a little walk, enjoying each other’s company. For once in a lifetime, the air did not feel suffocating. But still it felt quite too difficult to breathe. "I've been wanting to talk with you, actually." He admitted, now making her turn her head. Her face changed and her eyes were not longer shining but clouded with lust, and so were his own. She perfectly knew what those words meant and she was not going to hesitate.

“...Is it possible if we can have some privacy, now?” Obi-wan continued, but his voice sounded more of a whisper now. Blinking rapidly, she scanned both sideways, to see if anyone was nearby. When she made sure there were no people around, she grabbed his hand, and they ran straight to her chambers, which was not too far away from where they were at. Once they were already inside, she expected him to be soft and delicately as always, but instead, once the door was closed behind her, he pushed her against it, placing both his hands on her face, and pressing his lips with her own. At first she got surprised, but she still kept kissing him back. Her hands now trailing up to the back of his nape, twirling her fingers with his now shorter hair. Within seconds, he did take off his cloak, and hers as well. They were still standing at the same place, so, instantly, he did place both his hands, down on both her thighs, making her jump and twirl her legs just between his waist. Her hands now being placed on both his shoulders, while he carried her and laid her down not too delicately on her bed. She swallowed hard, while she watched him rapidly bend over, to kiss her once more, but now, with way more passion.

“Stars! I missed every piece of you, my love…” He admitted, his voice hoarse and low, while leaving wet kisses all over her neck. Y/n did not say a word back in response. She was just letting out low but soft moans, letting him just be the only one who could be able to hear them. His arms were trailing all over her body, while he slowly took off her pants to then throw them far away from them.

“We can only be absent for ten minutes, you know it.” She was exasperated, while trying to unbutton his pants. Her hands were fast but clumsy, then, him taking off his trousers and his underwear quickly by himself.

“I know. I know. And I need you.” He whined, while placing himself on top of her, both hands placed comfortably pressed on the mattress.

Without saying anything else, lust in both their glances, she placed her left hand on his right cheek, to then making him bend his head over to press his lips with her own once more. Still having their mouths pressed together, he did push his hip afterwards, getting her by surprise and then, moaning of pleasure in his mouth. It was slow but constant, but within seconds, their breathing started to get exasperated, and the only thing that was able to be heard in that room was the bed slightly creaking. It was slow but hard at the same time, and it did hurt the very few pushes but it then became satisfactory. Once they were getting close, his communicator started to vibrate, they did ignore it but then it turned constant, making him groan annoyedly.

“Shhh,..” She hushed him. “Ignore it. Just concentrate on me, love.” That was the least she needed to tell him, for him to do so. Once she felt that she was getting closer, she started to moan even way more pleasantly.

Her chin was placed on his left shoulder, while both her hands were placed on his back, her nails pressed hard. He was getting upset, and she knew it just by the way he was acting at the moment. He was always careful and she knew it, but for the first time, it just didn’t feel like just having normal sex. It was needy and wanted. It always has been like that, but the fact that they’ve spent months apart, without having any type of information of their good given status, they both craved that moment even more. Suddenly, his movements became faster, making both their breaths to mix up. He wanted her to scream his name out loud but it was not going to happen as long they were in Coruscant... Right before cumming, and him hearing her letting out a loud moan, he did kiss her one last time, to then, her placing both her hands on his face.

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glittercracker · 5 years ago

Text

Kingkiller Crap

So, I’ve never really posted much here that involves my own thoughts. There are a number of reasons why, but whatever. I feel the need NOW to post some thoughts, and having no working independent blog (yet!) I suppose this is the place to dump them. PSA: none of this is about anime. None of this is frivolous or fun. TW for sexual abuse. You have been warned! So. I’ve been rereading the Kingkiller Chronicles. aka “Name of the Wind” and “The Wise Man’s Fear” and “That Other One That Shall Not Be Named.” This reread was, at the beginning, almost an afterthought. A way to keep my 13 yo happy on a 7 hour car ride. Except, he could not have cared less, and I got sucked back into the story (and okay, if that is how all our audiobook car rides go, meh? At least it keeps me sharp!) I raced through book one, and bought book 2 on audible with an eye to my upcoming surgery and recooperation. Book one was problematic in the places I remembered, but also as generally engaging as I remembered. And then book 2 happened, and surgery happened, and I have had weeks to lie in bed listening to this bloody interminable sequel, and I find myself lost in a morass of, “WTF was I ever THINKING?” Namely, how did I ever love this book enough to pine for the next? It’s been hard to put a finger on exactly what is making this time through book 2 both a slog and also vaguely, creepily uncomfortable, but if you’re interested, my rather stream-of-consciousness ramble of thoughts ensues. First, the male gaze that rears its head at times in book 1 predominates here. But while I don’t love the way Kvothe describes women, I also have 2 degrees in literature, and I’m beyond that being a reason not to read an otherwise engaging book. Second, Kvothe is a Gary Stu, for all of Rothfuss’s protestations to the contrary. Again, so far, so much traditional high fantasy. But while, say, Aragorn is content to just quietly be Awesome At Everything, Kvothe is a braggy little shit of a Gary Stu: the person you hated for announcing their perfect scores in that hs class you could never quite master. I could fill several pages with examples, but for some reason what really made me want to kick him in the head was not Felurian’s disbelief of his virginity (though really, jfc, REALLY?) Nope, it was the end of his time w the Ademrae (sp may be off, remember, I’m listening not reading!) when he crows about having learned the history of his sword 2 days earlier than expected. Why does this stick out? Oh, idk. Maybe bc he sucks so hard he can’t even get past the first obstacle in his practical final exam? Yet he still has to tell us how fucking awesome he is for remembering 6000 names of previous owners.

I know, I’m supposed to forgive his teenage idiocy. The internet sympathists (no pun intended!) keep telling me this. And I suppose that I would, IF this were a simple first-person narrative - but it isn’t. Let’s repeat that, and really think about it. This story is being narrated by an older and presumably wiser Kvothe who has lost everything - whose abilities have been expunged to the extent that he can’t open his own chest of Cool Stuff. He shows humility in his actions, mostly. And yet when discussing his 16 yo self, the humility evaporates, and he speaks with no kind of perspective or lens of accrued wisdom. He still compares women to instruments waiting for the “right” player (i.e. him) and defends this choice of words by saying, essentially, “You aren’t a musician, you don’t know!”

Interesting assumption for an innkeeper in a medieval-esque world. Interesting assumption if this is in fact authorial interjection, too, because I suspect the majority of this book’s audience *are* musicians to at least an extent, and I also suspect that the majority of us (yes, us - I own several beloved instruments, including a harp custom made for me as a wedding present from my husband) would not equate a human lover to even the most beloved of instruments.

But all of this is well-trodden critical ground. As far as I can tell, though, my third issue isn’t: although it’s perhaps the most glaringly tone-deaf example of all of Rothfuss’s excruciatingly tone-deaf portrayal of his world’s women. Namely, the two girls kidnapped and gang-raped by the fake Ruh.

Almost all of the criticism I’ve read on this section of TWMF concentrates on Kvothe’s treatment of the girls’ abusers. What’s interesting is that no one ever seems to write about Kvothe’s treatment of the girls themselves. Yes, he treats them kindly. He tends their wounds, he feeds them, he tries (and succeeds, of course) to draw Ellie out of her shocked stupor.

Yet what he never once does, from the moment he takes control of the situation, is ask their opinions on any of this, including what their next step should be. He just decides to bring them back to their families - families who, in this type of society, might well disown them for being “ruined”. And the girls themselves, namely the intelligent and savvy Krin, seem to go blindly along with what he says. Why? Would Krin at least not question this, or object to his making decisions for her, when a group of men had so recently and brutally taken away all of her agency? Would she not question whether being brought back to her family is the best thing for the catatonic Ellie?

Okay, apparently not. So they return to their apparently very forgiving town. Kvothe stands up for the girls against the village shithead: thank you, Kvothe, bc I’m sure Krin could not have said those words herself. He assures the reader that they are with people who will love and care for them despite what has happened to them: thank you, Kvothe, though it’s stretching my credulity a bit that you would assume that no one will take issue with their deflowering. But then he “gifts” the girls the spoils of his slaughter: the horses, the valuables, the wagons. And I was about to give him a (grudging) pass for being decent about this, EXCEPT: he goes on to say that these goods are meant for the girls’ dowries. Specifically, to make them worth enough financially for potential husbands to overlook their loss of virginity. He even tells Krin not to settle for a less-than-lucrative marriage.

And suddenly, I was outraged. Why? Because a man who had witnessed the full extend of these women’s abuse brought them back to a backwater town believing that he was being magnanimous both in doing so, and in giving up whatever share he might have taken of the spoils of the debacle to make them financially lucrative marriage prospects. Because he never asked these traumatized girls if they might rather cut and run with the money than use it to make some man overlook their abuse in order to make them his property. He never even questions the idea that they will be grateful to submit to marriage contracts that will no doubt require them to have sex with their husbands, even though these women have been abused to the extent that they cannot sit a horse for *two days* after being rescued. And the worst part is that 20-something frame-story Kvothe doesn’t question this either; he just goes on to gloat about people singing songs about his daring rescue. Maybe I was just ready for a straw to break my benefit of the doubt. Or maybe this really is as outrageous as it feels. Either way, I can’t help being angry at Rothfuss. As a writer, I am very well aware that character and author are not the same thing; that authorial intent is not the same as authorial beliefs. But there are moments in some books when I have to wonder if that line is blurring, and this is one of them. Kvothe has literally JUST left a female-dominated country full of independent women happily doing their own thing. He has given these girls the means to find themselves a situation that will never require them to be beholden to a man again - even houses ffs, in the shape of those 2 wagons, should they want them. There are so many options beyond marriage: I can’t, for instance, think of a medieval society that didn’t have its version of a convent. Or, for Krin at least, why not the University? For that matter, why not marry her himself, and then set her free to do as she likes under the awning of a respectable marriage?

Instead he returns them to their fathers, and likewise gives their fathers the means to marry them off with no argument. Who, after all, holds the reins of the horses at the end? Why does Kvothe assume that these families will actually use the wealth even in the dubious way that he recommends?

And in this, I think, I am justified in giving Rothfuss the stink-eye. This is one more instance for Kvothe to play the hero with no real attention given to the consequences. Kvothe himself, I think, would be appalled. He has suffered so much deprivation in his life, so often been marginalized, scapegoated, powerless, how on earth could he so easily consign others to that fate? How could he think, loving Denna as he does, having heard her words to the beaten girl in Severin, that buying these girls husbands who will “overlook” their abuse for the sake of wealth is anything but a wretched life sentence for them?

Sigh. There was a time when I desperate awaited book three. Now, given the other women’s lives at stake in this series, I’m not so sure I want to know.

#kingkiller chronicle #kvothe #patrick rothfuss #wise man's fear #Kingkiller chronicles sexism #kvothe gary stu #kkc sexism

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gottlem · 5 years ago

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one out of a thousand others. (lemyanka)

summary: lemon meets her soulmate on the same day she starts at a brand new school - the only problem is she has no way of knowing , out of all the people she meets, who it actually is. (4.9k)

a/n: well, this took so long to write, so i hope u like it !! i was gonna write this for crygi but i decided to write it for these two instead even though its a lil less popular lol. this is purely self indulgent bc i LOVE soulmate aus so. here we are. also title taken from a line in falsettos lol

“So, Pri, you meet your soulmate tomorrow right?” Boa was right, according to the date marked on Priyanka’s upper thigh, tomorrow was the day. It still didn’t quite feel real yet, that she would meet the person she was meant to be with forever. Part of her was terrified that they wouldn’t get along, that somehow, something had gone wrong at some point. Part of her couldn’t wait to meet someone she should be able to just click with so easily. People wait their entire lives to meet The One, and right now, she only has to wait one more day.

“Yeah tomorrow’s the day! I wonder what they’re like” Priyanka hadn’t planned to do or go anywhere out of the ordinary, she would go to school, go home, and see wherever else the day might take her. But for now, she just had to get back home after school. They spent the walk home bumping into each other's shoulder and theorizing about what her soulmate might be like, though there was only one problem.

Boa, Priyanka’s best friend and self-proclaimed-platonic-soulmate, had no idea that Priyanka was expecting her actual soulmate to be a girl. There wasn’t necessarily a reason she hadn’t yet told Boa, it just never came up. And now it was too late to bring it up, too awkward. Except she’s meeting her tomorrow and Boa will either be completely oblivious, or will figure it out far too quickly.

Avoiding pronouns got old fast, but luckily it was still relatively easy to stick with using they/them, seeing as though she was talking about someone she didn’t know. She could keep this from Boa for just one more day, and then she’d just have to figure out how to break the news. Or maybe she wouldn’t even have to, maybe Boa would just be able to sense it from how they interacted. The uncertainty of it all was quite concerning, but she was sure she would push through it anyway.

Priyanka did not sleep well that night. She was going to meet her soulmate. The girl that would complete her, make her a better version of herself. It was scary, but exciting. She couldn’t wait, really. No matter how nerve-wrecking it became the more she thought about it, she also felt comforted. It was meant to be. She was about to find someone who will love her so strongly, and someone she can love right back. She was lucky, really, to find her soulmate so young. They’d be able to grow together, face the world and adulthood together when the time came. She had the rest of her life ahead of her and she couldn’t wait to spend it falling in love with her other half.

Lemon couldn’t wait to meet her soulmate. The only problem was she would have absolutely no idea who is. She thought long and hard about the ways she could whittle it down, but the only distinctive factor was that she knew her soulmate would be a girl, and they would meet tomorrow. Maybe she would just know? Maybe they’d catch eyes in the hallway and something would just click. That’s what she hoped would happen anyway, but knowing her luck, there would be no such thing.

She was starting a brand new school tomorrow, slap-bang in the middle of a school year. She was about to be the new kid. It was just unlucky that the very day she would start a new school, consequently meeting hundreds of kids, she was also supposed to meet her soulmate. Of course, whoever it may be should know straight away that their soulmate is Lemon. She’d be the only new girl, and therefore the only person they meet that day. So, at least they’re not both completely clueless, right?

Lemon fell asleep almost the exact moment her head hit her pillow. She had spent the last hour or two taking extra care in the shower, brushing her teeth, and going through her usually skipped over skincare routine. She even read her book for an extra half hour in an attempt to calm her butterflies, it worked well enough for her to fall asleep. Her dreams were fuelled by a mixture of anxiety and excitement (though some would argue they’re exactly the same) but she didn’t remember any by the time she woke up.

When the sun rose that morning, Lemon could feel herself getting giddier by the minute. It was a beautiful day - sunny, but not too warm. The perfect day to meet your soulmate. Walking into the doors for the first time, Lemon watched as unfamiliar faces passed by her with questioning looks, wondering who she was. Some of them had already begun to introduce themselves, unbeknownst to the date of her mark.

Lemon was sure she’d be fine. She was outgoing, and always willing to make new friends, so being the new girl wasn’t as scary as it should be. However, when every single person you meet is a potential soulmate, things start to get overwhelming. Her morning consisted of getting slightly lost on the way to her English class, introducing herself to 60+ people before lunch, and constantly being on the lookout for the look in someone's eye that tells her she’s the one. She never found that look.

Priyanka was having an awful morning. She had heard whispers of a new girl in school, and her heart managed to sink and soar at the same time. She promised herself she wouldn’t look for her, they would find each other when the time was right. And apparently the time was right just as Priyanka was speed walking, and definitely not paying attention, towards the dining hall for lunch after promising Boa she wouldn’t be late. She was fishing for her phone in her bag as she bumped into a wide eyed girl that she didn’t recognise.

In a flash, the girl was on the floor, picking up the books that Priyanka had managed to whack out of her grip.

‘Good going Pri, you just had the most cliche fucking meeting with your soumate and she probably doesn’t even know it, happy?’

Priyanka was quick to bend down to help the girl, apologising for being so careless. The girl looked up and smiled, Priyanka thought her heart might have stopped in that moment.

“It’s okay girl! Let’s just blame it on the fact that I’m the new girl so by the laws of the universe, something at least a little embarrassing has to happen to me. I mean, it wouldn't be a complete first day if it didn’t. I’m Lemon.”

“I thought I didn’t recognise you, I’m Priyanka… Wait, did you just say Lemon? Like the citrus fruit?”

“Well, my real name is Lena, Lemon’s just a nickname. Literally everyone just calls me Lemon though, especially pretty girls who don’t look at where they’re going. Besides, yellow does suit me, don’t you think?”

Priyanka did think. She thought this girl, Lemon, was stunning. And she was right, yellow was her colour. Her hair was a light blonde, but the ends were a pastel yellow and her shirt an even brighter yellow; Priyanka thought it must take some guts to wear such a bold colour on your first day, but you’ve got to make an impression somehow right? Besides, she was well aware that Lemon would have the same date she did on her thigh - which meant Lemon knew she was meeting her soulmate today. Chances are, she didn’t have any idea who it would be though, Priyanka couldn’t even imagine how many new people Lemon would have met today. But that would mean Lemon didn’t know that she and Priyanka were soulmates, only Priyanka did. So she would have to be the one to make some kind of move. She can’t watch her soulmate just walk away.

“Hey, do you have anyone to sit with at lunch?”

“I was planning on walking around aimlessly trying to find a clique that looks like they wouldn’t wanna bite my head off, so no, but I’m assuming I do now?”

Priyanka just took her soulmate’s hand in response, taking her to the dining hall to meet Boa. She hoped she could keep it together for the next 60 minutes. It shouldn’t be that hard. All she had to do was avoid the topic of romance and soulmates and she would be fine. Boa knew that bringing it up with a stranger was a bit too intimate for the first hour of knowing someone, so hopefully she wouldn't have to worry about her.

Luckily for Priyanka, her friend didn’t think twice about her invitation for Lemon to join them at lunch, assuming that her soulmate would be a boy, which Lemon was not. On the other hand, it meant that Priyanka spent an hour with her soulmate who probably had no idea they were meant to be, but who also kept flirting with her anyway. It was torture. She couldn't even tell her, not with Boa there. So when Priyanka wrote down Lemon’s instagram handle, she decided she would come clean to her tonight.

Lemon had long abandoned the idea of finding her soulmate through glances in the hallway. She figured her soulmate would have the sense to know that she’d be meeting too many people to be able to single out the one, and she would make the first move, or at least say something to clue Lemon in. But that didn’t seem to happen all day.

Eating lunch with Priyanka and her friend was nice, but she had no reason to believe they were soulmates. As far as Lemon knew, Priyanka could just be trying to make up for the incident in the halls. Eventually her soulmate would show herself, but that didn’t stop Lemon from letting herself think that maybe her soulmate was sitting right in front of her.

Walking home that day, Lemon felt defeated. She wasn’t any closer to knowing who her soulmate was than when the day first started, except now she knew she had most definitely met them by now, unless she bumped into someone on the way home. She didn’t. She unlocked her front door and went straight to her bedroom. Her body felt heavy, she just had to lie down for a minute.

A notification from her phone was what woke her up a couple hours later. She barely even realised she had fallen asleep until she checked the time and it was already 7pm. There were two notifications, both from Instagram. She had one new follower, and a private message. It wasn’t too surprising to Lemon that both were Priyanka, remembering she had given her handle to the girl earlier that day.

itsmepri: Hey, Lemon! How was your first day?

lemongivesyoulife: well i accidentally slept for almost four hours the second i got home, so i would say it went exactly the way i expected

itsmepri: It only gets worse from here girl

lemongivesyoulife: yeah i’m rlly looking forward to my breakdown scheduled in about two months time :))

lemongivesyoulife: but honestly i’m just glad nobodys been shitty to me yet, i’m just waiting until someone decides to ~prey on the new girl~

itsmepri: Don’t worry too much! Most groups just kind of stick to themselves, so if you just stay with me and Boa, you shouldn’t get into too much trouble

itsmepri: Only if you want, you don’t HAVE to be my friend just because I accidentally ran into you on your first say (sorry again for that, Boa’s a bitch when you keep her waiting)

lemongivesyoulife: i’d love that, actually ;)

lemongivesyoulife: and again don’t even worry about it! something tells me it happened for a reason

Priyanka had planned to tell Lemon that they were soulmates, she really had, but there was something stopping her that she couldn't quite place. Maybe it was fear that Lemon would be disappointed, maybe she liked the way Lemon flirted with her without even knowing. Whatever it was, it was clear she wasn’t quite ready to come clean yet. At 11:59pm, Priyanka’s phone started to ring, showing Boa’s display name, because who else would call her at midnight on a school night.

“This better be good if you’re ringing me at midnight to talk about it”

“I don’t know if it’s good, you’ll have to tell me.”

“Tell you what, exactly?”

“Who’s your soulmate? What are they like?”

Fuck. She really should have thought of something to say. The problem was, if Priyanka told Boa what was happening, that Lemon was her soulmate and only she knew, she would end up trying to take things into her own hands. That would be… disastrous. She just wanted to have everything go at her own pace. She could come clean to Lemon once they were good enough friends, and then they avoid the awkward ‘we don’t know each other well enough to officially date but also we’re soulmates so automatically we’re kind of dating anyways’ phase. Everything would fall into place. She just had to lie to her best friend for a bit. No biggie.

“Helloooo? Pri? You there?”

“Yeah I’m here. Just zoned out”

“God, did you even meet your soulmate?” Here goes nothing.

“Yeah. We’re uh, taking it slow for now. We bumped into each other when I was walking home. We’re just keeping things on the dl so we can really get to know each other first.”

That didn’t fully satisfy Boa. She wanted to know far too much far too quickly, but Priyanka managed to dodge the giveaway questions. It wasn’t easy, but she survived that phone call without giving anything away, feeling a sense of dread for when she’d eventually have to tell the truth.

The next day, Priyanka and Boa are joined by Lemon at lunch again. She sat herself down with blushing cheeks and a toothy smile, and without even greeting her new friends first, she asked “Can you tell me everything about Gothy?” Priyanka tried her best not to show her distaste towards the girl, and instantly asked why, trying not to sound defensive already. Maybe it was nothing.

“She asked me on a date. I think I’m gonna go.”

Priyanka wanted so badly to tell her not to. But she still just wasn’t ready. What stung the most was Boa, whispering into her ear, telling her that at least Lemon’s not being shy about her soulmate. Priyanka left lunch early that day, not without warning Lemon to be careful.

Gothy was in a few of Lemon’s classes, but she found out on the girls second day that they had gym together too. She didn’t mean to see her mark, honest. But she did. And she was the new girl. So why shouldn’t she have some fun? It’s not like she had a soulmate she was betraying, her whole body being void of a date.It was easy to flirt with her, easy to ask her out, and easy to get her to say yes. Lemon probably assumed that Gothy was her soulmate, and was finally trying to make a move. She couldn’t be more wrong.

“Hey Boa?” She couldn’t believe it took Gothy trying to play some stupid fucking mind game for her to finally tell her best friend that she was gay. But hey, at least she was doing it.

“Whats up Pri, you ok?” Her voice sounded crackly over the phone, but talking about this in person was just too nerve-wracking.

“I uh, lied, about my soulmate… It’s actually Lemon”

Silence.

“No, Lemon’s soulmate is Gothy, why else would they be going on a date?”

Well, at least she didn’t question the part where her soulmate’s a girl, right? Always look on the bright side.

“Well. You and me both know that Gothy would do anything to fuck me over, ever since we fell out last year she’s been waiting for the right opportunity. She knew my date. I don’t know how she saw Lemon’s but she must have at some point, or maybe she told her? Either way, Gothy’s mean, but she’s smart. She’d have figured out it was me and Lemon in no time”

“They have Gym together”

“Oh.”

“Okay but what about Gothy’s soulmate?”

“Gothy doesn’t have one. She told me when we were friends and I just kept it a secret because, well I guess it's not really anyone’s business. But now she’s just causing trouble”

“I had a feeling it was Lemon. They way you look at her, it makes me want to meet mine. You do realise you’re going to have to tell her at one point though, right?”

Telling Boa was one thing. Coming clean to Lemon? Yeah she wasn’t ready for that, at all. Especially not with Gothy involved. It pained her to hear Lemon gush about the girl every other day over lunch, she knew Gothy could be charming, and when Lemon had flirted with her she felt desired. They would be a perfect pair. Except they’re not. Because Priyanka is her soulmate, not Gothy. And there is only one way Lemon could find out.

About two weeks had passed of Priyanka trying her best to ignore Lemon and Gothy’s relationship when she got a text from the yellow haired girl at 1am on a Wednesday night (technically Thursday morning).

lemmy<3: u were right about gothy :(

Her heart sank. Sure, if she and Gothy ended things, it made everything so much easier for Priyanka, but it still didn’t feel nice to see her soulmate upset.

pri: Oh no what happened??

lemmy<3: ik its super late

lemmy<3: and u don’t have to say yes like at all. pls feel free to tell me to shut up n go to sleep

lemmy<3: but could i maybe come over and sleep at yours tonight? i need some company

lemmy<3: i need ur company

pri: Ofc, come through the back, it’s quieter. I’ll be waiting there for u

Lemon was there in no time. When the back door opened, tired eyes met teary ones as Lemon ran forward to hug her friend. She would feel bad about crying in front of someone she hadn’t even known for that long, but something about her presence made her feel like she was at home.

Priyanka lead Lemon up to her bedroom, and they lay side by side on her queen sized bed, faces staring up at the ceiling, and sour tears slowly hitting the pillow. It was silent for a while.

“Hey Lem, we have school tomorrow, you should try and get some sleep hun, you’re going to be exhausted.”

There was no reply, Lemon just turned onto her side, facing away from Priyanka, her shoulders shaking slightly, she was trying to keep them still. All Priyanka could do was turn around and wrap her arms around the girl. She played with her hair until she heard the sniffles turn into light snores. She couldn’t help but think they sounded cute.

Gothy wasn’t mentioned again until the Saturday night after the incident, when Lemon had stayed over for the night, at Priyanka’s suggestion. The soft yellow glow of a lamp was the only thing that lit the girls faces as they talked into the hours of the night. Just as Priyanka was changing into an oversized long shirt for bed, Lemon spoke up about Wednesday night.

“I met my soulmate the day I started at school. There was no way of telling who it was, not with the amount of people I met that day. So when Gothy asked me out, I just assumed that she knew we were soulmates. I found out the hard way that that was so fucking far from the truth” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and it sounded so fragile, as if she could barely keep it together. She almost laughed at the end, though it was empty and void of any humour.

“How did you find out?” Priyanka began to make her way back to the bed, Lemon just stared at her.

“How do you think? I looked, there was no mark, not anywhere. She didn’t even acknowledge it when I pointed out that it was just, nowhere. I left. I’m just happy I realised before we did anything, you know?”

Priyanka shivered at the thought of Gothy taking advantage of Lemon like that, she felt guilty. She could have avoided this if she had just told Lemon. But it was too late now, even if she told her tonight, it would be like salt on an open wound. She’d give it another week, for Lemon’s sake.

They didn’t talk about Gothy after that. They were both quick to move the conversation as far away from romance and soulmates as possible, and once the touchy subject had finally been forgotten about, the hours passed like minutes and soon enough Priyanka’s eyes felt heavy.

“My head hurts”

“It’ll be because you’ve had your hair up all day, Pri, just take it out”

“But it’ll still hurt once it's loose!” Lemon chuckled affectionately at her friend’s whining.

“C’mere”

Priyanka didn't even fight it. She sat opposite Lemon on her bed, so their knees were touching. Lemon turned her to face the other way, and took her ponytail out.

“Lie down” She patted her lap for Priyanka to lay her head there, and the girl happily complied, giving out a content sigh when she felt gentle hands massage her scalp. It didn’t take her long to drift off to sleep, never feeling Lemon take her hands away from her hair.

It was once Priyanka had been asleep for maybe five minutes max when her leg moved, causing her shirt to ride up just enough to see the date marked on her thigh.

When Priyanka woke up, Lemon was nowhere to be seen. She was going to check downstairs to see if she had decided to grab herself breakfast, but she noticed a small handwritten note on her bedside table.

“i started to feel sick so i went home just after you fell asleep. didn’t wanna wake you up. -lemon”

Priyanka sat on the edge of her bed with a huff. She seemed fine last night, so how could Lemon have fallen ill so quickly? That was when Priyanka caught her mark just out of the corner of her eye. If she could see it when she was sat down, then…

Shit. Fuck. She needed to talk to Lemon. She couldn't just show up at the girls house, she didn’t even know where she lived, so she settled for the next best thing - ringing her until she picked up or turned her phone off. She lost track of how many times she had pressed the call button by the time she got a text back.

lemmy<3: what is it?

priyanka: you didn’t leave bc you were sick, did you?

lemmy<3: why didn’t you just tell me? Instead of letting me wonder and wonder and end up getting hurt?

priyanka: please come back and let me explain! I promise i won’t keep you long

lemmy<3: no, not today. sorry.

Her messages stopped getting delivered after that.

Priyanka and Lemon didn’t see eachother again until lunch on Monday, when Lemon hesitantly sat down at the table, already occupied by Priyanka and Boa. Priyanka just looked up at her, smiling sadly, and hoped that she’d at least stay for lunch.

Lemon wanted so badly to find somewhere else to sit. She didn’t hate Priyanka, she could never, and she wasn’t mad either, she didn’t think. She just needed some time to digest. Priyanka had weeks to come to terms with the fact that they were soulmates, and Lemon found out after she discovered she had been lied to about hers by someone else.

They both looked like shit. Priyanka couldn’t find it in herself to smile as much as she normally does, and Lemon’s shoulders lost their usually perfect posture. Plus, she had resorted to wearing her glasses to school, even though she hated them. Crying in contacts was never good for her, and right now she couldn't quite hold herself back for a whole day.

Boa noticed something was off between them not even a minute after Lemon sat down, she had wondered why Priyanka had been so withdrawn over the weekend. Guess she had her answer.

“Okay, so I’m just gonna go… you two need to sort out whatever is going on between y’all, kay? Kay.”

Neither of them said anything for a minute. Priyanka just played with her food, while Lemon played with the idea of taking off her glasses so she didn’t need to see Priyanka have this conversation with her.

“I uh, couldn’t really sit anywhere else. I don’t have many other friends after what happened with Gothy. Now I’m the new girl who fell for a girl without a soulmate. I didn’t even like her that much. I don’t feel connected to her.” Priyanka hummed in response.

“Do you feel connected to me?” She hoped Lemon would say yes.

“I don’t need to answer that; we’re soulmates, Pri. I wish I knew that sooner though”

“I know. I know and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was just scared. I was scared because I knew that I’d meet you, I knew you were coming, and I was still taken aback. I didn��t expect this stunning, flirty, yellow haired girl who is funny and caring and-”

“Stop it. I know I’m great” Lemon flipped her hair behind her as she slipped into a mock valley girl voice.

“See! That’s what I mean. You must be hurting, so much, and you’re sitting in front of the girl who was so shitty to you, cracking jokes?” Lemon laughed softly, a pity laugh if anything.

“ Yeah, you’re right. I am hurting,” her tone lacked any humour from before, “ And I get that you were scared and didn’t know what to do, and I’m not mad or anything. I promise. I just- can we maybe not speak for a bit? Get some space? I just need time. God, I hate it when people say that, but I think that’s what I need. And I promise, when I’m over whatever I’m feeling, I will more than gladly start this adventure with you. I’m glad you’re my soulmate. I promise”

And with that, Lemon stood up and left.

It was only Wednesday afternoon when Priyanka next heard from Lemon. Though she couldn’t complain, she had started to miss her before she even left the dining hall two days ago.

lemmy<3: i miss u

pri: not that i’m not happy to hear from u bc i am, but what happened to space?

lemmy<3: fuck space

pri: ok yeah

pri: fuck space

lemmy<3: what are u doing rn?

pri: nothing, why?

lemmy<3: we’re going to the beach

pri: right now? it’s a school night? and it’s like 6, there’s not much time

lemmy<3: we’re watching the sunset. pick u up in ten. see u soon x

Priyanka didn’t know Lemon could drive until she pulled up outside her house, windows down, looking as beautiful as ever. She was quick to hop in the passenger seat and let Lemon drive to the sound of the radio and the wind. She tried, really tried, to keep her eyes ahead of her, but she couldn't stop stealing glances at Lemon. Her eyes were focused on the road, and the ends of her lips were upturned slightly. She looked happy. It suited her.

The beach was colder than they had anticipated, but it gave them an excuse to sit closer to each other as the sky turned pink and purple and orange. They talked in soft voices, just loud enough for the other girl to hear clearly, but that made their words seem more intimate. There was one point, where the sun had just begun to disappear behind the sea, when Lemon reached for Priyanka's hand, who took it back and squeezed it lightly. Lemon’s head rested on her shoulder until the sun was completely replaced by a black sky and a myriad of stars looking down on them.

The drive home was quiet, they were both tired, and both hyper-aware of the fact they’d have to wake up early for school tomorrow. But tomorrow didn’t really matter much, not when they had their whole lives to spend together. Lemon dropped Priyanka off at her house with a hug, a beaming smile, and a promise to text her when she got home.

Priyanka received a text from Lemon much sooner than she expected, after only five minutes of Lemon being gone.

lemmy<3: come outside

lemmy<3: i think i forgot something

She opened her door to see Lemon looking at her with stars in her eyes.

“Lem I really don’t know how I can help if you’ve forgotten something, we went in your car.” Priyanka sighed, “okay, what did you forget?”

“This”

And just like that, Lemon took a step forward and pressed their lips together softly. They stayed like that for a minute, Lemons arms around her neck, their lips slowly moving against eachother. It was surprising how easily they just fit together. They felt like they could stay like this forever, but eventually Priyanka pulled back, knowing they’d have to stop eventually.

“Hm. I’m glad you remembered that. Can’t believe you almost forgot.”

#THERE IT IS Y’ALL #lemyanka soulmates #it had to be done #priyanka #lemyanka #lemon cdr #lemon queen #lemon x priyanka #ft gothg kendoll a lil bit #also boa

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fmdtaeyong · 4 years ago

Photo

restructuring update prompts

a prologue to officially re-introducing ash kwon // aka i decided to re-do this because i changed some parts of ash’s backstory and established career claims after i did this the first time and half of this wasn’t really true anymore rip

also there’s nowhere for me to put this in the answers anymore so i’ll put it here: circles is ash’s best song

content warning: mentions of alcohol abuse and drug use / abuse, but none of it is in-depth

assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different?

for the most part, ash’s general personality and character has stayed the same. he’s the same angsty, creative, romantic dude at heart, but he’s a little more jaded in some ways.

ash moved around before he became a trainee now. he lived in san francisco, sydney, and seattle. when he lived in sydney, it was just him and his mom and he grew really close to her during that time. he doesn’t really feel like he has a home at all since seoul is the longest he’s ever lived somewhere, but he’s less happy so that’s not home either.

ash is a better technical singer now ig, being a main vocal. he focused more on singing as a trainee now instead of dancing. his ankle injury in 2018 was a little more serious now, which is why he doesn’t dance much in his solo music anymore. it’s also why he’s less interested in dance, but, at the same time, i think it leaves more potential for him to re-develop some love for it again.

he’s also now the maknae, although it’s a common joke in the fandom that he doesn’t act like it. he debuted a year and three months younger than before and he feels a lot more beholden to the industry now. has even less of an idea of what he’d be outside of it at this point, even though he got closer to actually leaving it than previous ash ever did.

he’s still had a couple of minor attitude controversies in titan’s early days caused by cultural differences. he was in public relationships in 2016 and 2019. neither were received well for their own reasons. his clubbing habit has gotten him into some controversy, though bc has never issued a statement on it beyond that one time they had to confirm the woman in a picture of him clubbing was his girlfriend because people were trying to accuse him of cheating. he has a passionate anti gallery and obsessive sasaengs that make his life a living hell.

since renewing his contract, ash has also had a few hiatuses of varying lengths due to his physical or mental health. this was true before with how he naturally developed, but it’s more tied together now as a result of generally poor physical and mental health he’s been experiencing for a few years now after his dating scandals and his ankle injury in 2018.

his image is more streamlined now too! he never really had the era of being pushed as a cleancut boyfriend that old ash had around 2018. he’s been marketed as a musical genius / sexy bad boy rockstar / artist with a tortured soul for as long as he’s been majorly pushed individually. this means he’s still very sexualized, but he hates his image a little less because he can be a little more himself as far as personal style and self-expression through tattoos and piercings goes.

what does your muse think of their company and their group?

this hasn’t really changed. ash has no real love for bc entertainment and wouldn’t really care if titan disbanded tomorrow. some of their music is good and some isn’t (though he considers less of it terrible without wolf and gorilla in the mix lmao), but he feels he’s mostly outgrown it as an artist. not that it’s below him, but it’s not what he connects with creatively, which is far more important to him now than it had been when he’d first debuted. he doesn’t hold ill will toward his groupmates unless he feels they’ve given him an individual reason to, and actually feels more guilty toward them for getting involved in scandals and taking hiatuses more than anything, but they’re also not his best friends. he views titan as a purely work endeavor and he doesn’t feel bad about the fact he got about as close as possible to leaving them without actually doing so that he could back during contract renewals. after all, they’d be fine without him. he’s a main vocal, but they’ve got two others. he’s a dancer, but they’ve got two others. he can write music, but titan has never been his main priority there and others are more than capable of doing it. he wants out of both the group and the company but is starkly aware of the fact that he did this to himself when he re-signed out of what he now perceives to have been impulse and greed.

since titan is the seniormost active group under bc, ash tries to be a good senior to his company juniors in general, but there are certainly more welcoming alternatives than him. he worries about them from a distance more than anything else.

is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract?

he’s on his second contract and he definitely regrets renewing. he hadn’t planned to renew for the longest time the lack of privacy and the public criticism and the hate he’d received were just too much, and he had plans that would require him to stop being an active idol, namely marrying his girlfriend of two and a half years at the time. their relationship wasn’t stable enough at the time for that to be a good idea and that was proven when they broke up shortly before final negotiations for contract renewals, but ash wanted an excuse to escape and the idea of a happy, normal life more than he wanted to be rational.

spite after the (very brief lmao) break up was part of his decision to renew, but bc entertainment also offered to support him as a songwriter and producer in addition to allowing him to regularly release solo music. he still really loved music and his first taste of promoting as a solo artist had been right before renewals as a proposal to sway him into re-signing, so he was swayed to sign on for seven more years. they followed through on their promises, but he struggles to weigh the recognition he’s earned as a solo artist and songwriter-producer against signing his life away again and doing a number on his physicla and mental health. most of his health issues and his hiatuses have happened during his second contract, as well as several behind-the-scenes situations that could have become scandals if they’d had any less luck, mostly stemming from ash drinking too much and his occasional recreational drug use, so he’s not sure bc even really feels the contract renewal was entirely worth it.

what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

if you asked ash this, he wouldn’t know what to answer. he doesn’t feel very motivated these days and pretty much feels like he only does anything because he’s contractually obligated to. making music as a form of expression has long been his main drive, and beyond that, the desire to make a mark on the world he can be remembered by through his music, but he often oscillates now between feeling like there’s not much more he can realistically achieve and the sense of hopelessness that he can try as hard as he wants, but his music’s never going to be what he’s defined by when he’s a public figure with an image.

he also feels a duty to make his parents proud. though i could argue that might be less now than it was in the previous iteration of ash, it’s still very much there. they let him come to seoul when he’d just turned thirteen to follow a dream that many never get to follow all the way through to the end and they believed in him fully. they express how proud they are of him when they do talk, but he doesn’t know that he believes them. he doesn’t feel that anything he’s done has been deserving of paying them back for everything they’ve given to him.

right now, he wants to be able to feel excited about his life and what he’s making again. he’s trying to better himself internally in regards to the way he views himself and his mental health, although he’s more prone to still taking steps backwards there than he was at this point previously. a lot of the ways ash has found to feel that excitement and creativity he wants (such as recreational drugs and excessive alcohol consumption and fleeting, sometimes toxic, relationships) do damage to his mental wellbeing, so it’s a balancing act at the moment.

what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

i covered this partially with the last one, but one major conflict remains his internal conflict about his passion for music. this was very much where ash was before as well, but now that i’m really pushing songwriting and producing as his main career path, it presents a more equal professional and personal challenge for him.

more than having truly lost joy in making music, he’s burnt out. his latest album lovesick was emotionally exhausting because it was a partially rushed, deeply personal and vulnerable album exclusively based on an unhealthy relationship that had stretched its hold on him out over for almost six years, and then he went into making music that he couldn’t relate to at all and didn’t really fit his image all because bc thought it would sell well.

the burn out in his personal life has affected the burn out in his professional life he would be feeling anyway and made it ten times worse. it feels more hopeless because he doesn’t have much else going for him. in the past few months, his relationship with alcohol and drugs also reverted back to unhealthy after he was doing better with it for a while, not helped by a really bad stint with his mental health. all of this was at its worse in june before he went on hiatus, and in this universe, his behavior was more of a factor in his hiatus than him practically begging to leave the group because ash is more resigned to the fact that he chose to sign back on with bc and that that’s on him. instead, there was more of a push by his manager, who knew that ash was on the road to a major scandal if action wasn’t taken.

almost all of his conflicts are internal right now. he’s become successful enough that external factors other than the large umbrella of having to remain in titan can be negotiated, but he’s too tired to do so because of everything going on inside of him. there’s a lot of negative feelings going on inside of him, and he’s trying to deal with them one by one, but it’s hard to see the weight of them easing that way.

if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

ash has been able to establish himself a little more as a songwriter and producer outside of his solo music. he wrote “universe” for titan in 2017, and after that, as promised, bc hooking him up with the right opportunities and connections to establish himself more. since then, in addition to his heavy involvement in his solo music (his 2020 album lovesick was entirely written/composed/produced by him alone), he’s worked on calypso’s “rollin’” in 2018, polaris’s “fake love” (a korean music awards song of the year!) and “the truth untold” in 2019, and lily’s “i’m so sick” this year. i’m planning on more being added there with these extra ecp and maybe some refunded since i think i’m going to drop some of his points claims to streamline his career better.

his canon discography creative claims reflect his progression as a songwriter, from very earnest and romantic to more sensual to very uhhh angsty and personal to developing a more polished and professional sound as he grew in experience as a songwriter and producer.

ash is praised for having several representative works as a songwriter that all speak to his individual style, and ash is happy with what he’s gotten to do since he does genuinely enjoy working as a songwriter and producer.

he’s planning to continue branching out in this direction, so look for quite a lot of ash dabbling in canon discographies in the future. before, i’d say ash’s primary push was solo music, but my plan for him is for songwriting and producing to be his main career path from now on with solo music as a close secondary.

#famedrstask1 #+10 ecp

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selfindulgentpoorlywritten · 6 years ago

Text

Only You (Sidney Crosby Imagine)

The text got deleted for some godforsaken reason, so I’m hoping this fixes it.

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Sidney Crosby/Fem!Reader

Words: 3462

Warnings: NSFW

Requested: yes / no

Summary/Request: hi! are you still taking requests? bc i wanted to know if i could get some sidney smut but like with a girl that's like way shorter than him

(AKA established relationship Sid smut with a super short reader)

No one would say you’re particularly good at dancing, but damn if you didn’t love it. You were always dancing by the end of every party, to whatever was playing over the speakers, whether it was intended to be a soundtrack or not. Today is no exception. At clubs you tended to get lost in the crowd, but since it was only yourself and a few of the other WAGs, you’re still visible from the outside. Visible to Sidney from his seat on the patio, where he’s stopped bothering to pretend to be invested in the conversation taking place around him.

He loves to dance as well-- especially when he’s got a few drinks in him-- but he’s always loved your dancing. He can’t help but watch every time you take the floor, mesmerized by the way you move. By the way you sway just a tad awkwardly, the way you don’t even care. The freedom of it. But more than that, he’s captivated by how stunning you are. His favorite thing to do is remind you of how gorgeous he thinks you are, with quick comments and long nights, depending on how much he gets to see you.

Before you ever met him, you’d already felt short enough. Dating a professional hockey player and spending time with his friends only made you more acutely aware of your height. Considering the entire team is at least as tall as Sidney, who has more height on you than you’d like to acknowledge, you felt like you were Jack after climbing the beanstalk, surrounded by giants. That’s bad enough, though you’d expected the guys to make you feel small and were prepared for it; what you weren’t prepared for was the WAGs. They were all tall and long-legged and blonde and graceful and dazzling. You were the shortest by far, not even reaching Sidney’s chin, and most of them had half a foot or more on you. It rarely bothered you, but when you’re surrounded by literal models all the time, it’s difficult not to feel self-conscious on occasion.

The party is winding down alongside the sunset, and the small group of you retire from dancing to help Tanger and Catherine start cleaning up. You gather some used plates and cups that had been abandoned on tables around the yard, depositing them in the trash bag Kelsey is walking around with. The serving dishes for the food need to be brought inside, but you notice that-- aside from Tanger-- the guys are still sitting around shooting the shit while the girls do the work. On your way inside with a casserole dish, you smack Sidney on the arm and scold the lot of them. They hang their heads and stand to join in with the tidying-up effort, adequately chastised.

Sid keeps shooting you looks, the kind of looks that make your face heat and your heart skip beats. Anticipation coils in your gut. You’d been having a great time dancing and talking with everyone, but you’re suddenly eager for this to be over.

The downside of Sid being Captain is that he can’t beg off team events early unless it’s a legitimate emergency, so you’re stuck cleaning and talking for what feels like an eternity. The party was a “team bonding” event to welcome the newcomers to Pittsburgh, and Tanev, Galchenyuk, and Kahun seemed to appreciate it, at least. You would appreciate if everyone would leave, so you can go home and fully enjoy the promise of the heated once-overs Sidney has been so generously giving you all evening.

You try to appreciate the time with everyone and be present in the conversations going on, but Sid has taken every free moment to shoot you glance after glance, like he can’t keep his eyes off of you. It’s not as if you haven’t been zoning out of various discussions to look at him too, though, so glass houses and all that. The guys slowly trickle out with their better halves over time, until Geno and Anna are the only ones left. It takes you a moment to notice, since you’ve been a bit transfixed by Sidney’s hands for a few minutes, because he’s definitely showing them off, knowing your weakness for them.

Momentarily, you meet eyes with Geno, who looks knowing and smug, before he turns his gaze to Sid. That’s probably going to be embarrassing later, but right now you don’t really care if anyone knows your plans. Despite being an asshole, Geno is actually a good guy, so he excuses himself and Anna not long after. They say their goodbyes, giving out hugs and cheek-kisses and back-slaps before leaving, both giving you a wink on the way out. They really are perfect for each other, huh?

More importantly, you’re now free to go. You make some polite conversation with Catherine quickly, just thanking her for hosting and wishing her luck with the children, offering to babysit if she ever needs a break. Sid switches with you, giving Catherine a hug and thanking her succinctly. It takes a handful of minutes for you to say goodbye to Kris, and you swear you can feel Sid’s frustration at having to wait. Typically, he wouldn’t care about waiting for you, but he’s been clearly turned on for at least an hour and probably desperate to get you alone. You’re definitely on the same page. Unfortunately: societal niceties.

The instant you’ve finished with Kris, Sidney has a hand on your lower back, guiding you toward the door and out with a final farewell thrown over your shoulder. Kris and Catherine stand in the doorway to see you out, making sure you get into the car and start up safely. Luckily, you can justify Sid’s potentially-inappropriate handle on you as coincidence, considering the fact that his hand naturally rests at the same level as your lower back, more or less. It’s just incidental, or a happy accident, or whatever. When he has to remove his hand so you can both load into his car, you immediately miss the contact.

You return the Letangs’ friendly wave as Sid backs out of the driveway. Even if he didn’t have the C, you’d never be able to leave events early because he always parks in the driveway and gets blocked in. Or maybe he lets himself get blocked in because the C means he’s trapped anyway? Not important. What is important is the big hand he lays heavily on your thigh, too high up for polite company and so, so warm. He keeps his eyes solely on the road as he drives, despite clearly holding onto the last of his composure by threads.

“The worst part is that you don’t even mean to do it,” he says, voice far deeper than when he spoke to Tanger. It sends a shiver down your spine, your entire body tensing in a barely-visible wave at the familiar sound. You have no idea what he means, and your confusion definitely shows on your face. Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to want a response, because he just takes a beat and continues.

“You just dance, like there’s no one watching, like you wouldn’t even care if there were,” he says, voice conveying a thousand things; arousal, possession, awe, “And everybody watches you, but you only look at me.” His hands squeeze the steering wheel and your thigh in equal measure. You’re not proud of the sharp inhale you take in response, but you’re also not really thinking of your pride right now, or anything other than the heat and pressure just close enough to tease. Your brain is stuck on a loop of only you only you only you, but you don’t say it, not willing to give him the satisfaction of your devotion yet. Also, if you did give in and say it now, the two of you would probably end up with a ticket for public indecency. You can talk your way out of it once, but twice would probably be pushing it.

You don’t say a word the entire ride home, and his grip on you and the wheel eventually loosens. Though he does periodically tighten his fingers back around you, just sporadically enough to keep you on edge, keep you wanting. And god, did you want. Sid was the most beautiful man in the world on a normal day, so when he’s all focused and deliberate, almost ready to succumb to lust? Truly Athena herself couldn’t keep chaste in his presence.

Pulling up the driveway with his hand tight on the skin bared by your now bunched up skirt-- easily pushed out of the way by Sid’s searching fingers-- has your heart rate skyrocketing. He doesn’t spare you a peep before he cuts the ignition and exits the car, not needing to say a word for you to scramble to follow him, grabbing your bag and climbing out of the car so quickly you almost end up tumbling face-first onto the concrete. By time you get to the mud room, he’s already removed one shoe and is working on the other. He hadn’t worn a jacket, since it’s one of those rare September days where the world forgets it’s supposed to be transitioning into fall, so it’s 91° and 8-fuck-thousand percent humidity, so he doesn’t have to bother taking it off. Good. Less time wasted. As for you, you kick off your shoes and place them in their usual place a little less carefully than usual. Sid definitely has some level of OCD, but that won’t bother him. Probably. Maybe.

Clearly it doesn’t bother him right now, because he walks through the second door into the living room, still without a word. You follow behind, but staunchly refuse to compare yourself to an eager puppy despite the similarity. He leads the way to the bedroom, which seems way too far right now, in your opinion, but that’s not your brain talking. At least you get a nice view of Sid’s ass in his black swim trunks, close-fitting enough to accentuate his figure rather than hide it.

What you expect to happen once you reach the bedroom, is for him to immediately push you up against the door and kiss you senseless. What you do not expect, is for him to slowly crowd into your space, cupping your jaw with one hand and stroking your cheek gently with his thumb. The other hand comes to rest on the side of your ribcage, squeezing gently once as he looks down into your eyes. There’s so much adoration in his gaze that you feel like the swelling affection inside you is going to make you burst.

“I love you,” he says. His expression turns a bit bittersweet, like he knows he doesn’t say it enough, but appreciates you understanding it anyway. You cradle his face in both hands and kiss him once, almost chaste. A far cry from what you anticipated.

“I love you too,” you reply. You know you maybe say it too much, often enough that he gets flustered sometimes, or thinks it’s said out of habit and not sincerity. But you mean it every time, with all your heart. Again his expression changes, this time from bittersweet certainty to overt devotion. He looks at you as if you’re the most extraordinary person in the world, like he can’t believe he gets to have you, like you’re the exceptional one in this relationship. All you can do is kiss him again, longer this time, harder.

This is where the passion you’d expected comes in, where he starts kissing you like he can’t bear to part from you even for the necessity of breath. Where his hands run down your sides to sneak under your shirt, so they can skim back up your stomach to cup your breasts. Your bathing suit suddenly feels like far too much material between his hands and your skin, and you itch to take it off. To take all of it off, to bare yourself to him in a way that never felt so right with anyone before.

With your diminutive stature, he has to bend at the waist to kiss you while standing, and you know it sometimes gives him a crick in his neck. Which is totally the reason you’re eager to get to the bed, obviously. Not because his hands are warm even through your top and his lips are soft and damp against yours and the small needy sounds he makes into your mouth drive you wild. You’re just being considerate. Yup.

Whatever ulterior motives you may or may not have, you nudge him backward, guiding him toward the bed even as he continues to dip down to kiss you between looking back to make sure he doesn’t trip. When the backs of his knees hit the mattress, he doesn’t fall, just stops. He strips off his shirt with an unrestricted urgency he never shows anyone but you, throwing it toward the hamper. You follow suit, shucking off both tops, and pushing down your coverup skirt for good measure. He pauses, brushing his big hands over your shoulders and down your chest, admiring your figure so brazenly you feel yourself blush.

“You just gonna look?” you ask rhetorically, still a tad breathless, but feeling a bit bold yourself. In return, you’re graced with that beautiful crooked smile and a look far too dark to match-- under normal circumstances, at least. He squats down to grab you around the waist, tossing you onto the bed in a feat of strength that’s more than a little sexy. The noise you make is decidedly less sexy, but he just smiles wider, shoving off his trunks like an afterthought before joining you on the bed. You wriggle out of your suit bottoms, not getting a chance to throw them off the bed before he’s on top of you.

Sid is so intense this way, laser focus directed solely on you, fixated on the best way to take you apart. For the most part, you go with the flow. You’re more than willing to follow his lead, knowing from experience that he’ll make this more than exceptional.

With your body bared to him, he looms over you, eyes roaming your upper body. His thick thighs are solid and warm against your own legs, closer to your knees than you might expect of a more proportional couple; though all you can think of is how the scratch of his wiry body hair drives you a bit crazy. He kisses you again, only momentarily, before moving to your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. There will definitely be some dark spots that Malin and Kelsey will tease you about next time they see you, but the pressure and tinge of pain feel so good that you don’t much care.

Before Sid, you had assumed that your breasts simply weren’t that sensitive. Since the first time you’d slept together, however, you’d learned that maybe you just hadn’t had competent partners before. He sucks more hickeys into the thin skin of your breasts, mouthing and teasing at your nipples until you’re arching into his lips as you make sounds a bit too desperate for your liking. It’s just so good.

Occasionally, he’ll ask you to sit on his face. He knows it’s not easy for you, because your height means you have to rest a bit higher on your knees, which stresses your thighs. But he loves it so dearly that you do it from time to time. This evening, however, he seems far too frantic to eat you out as per usual. Instead, he abandons your chest to recapture your mouth. After so long, he knows exactly how to move, to lick, to press, to drive you crazy. Crazy enough that his fingers dipping into your folds make you gasp into his mouth in surprise.

Your focus shuttles between his fingers stretching you meticulously and the way he’s kissing the soul out of you. Your brain simply refuses to focus on one thing, jumping from his lips to his fingers to his thighs on your knees to his dick occasionally brushing your thigh. It’s all so much, his body the perfect complement to yours, no matter how counterintuitive that may seem.. He’s so big and warm, enveloping you in smooth skin and pounding pulse, completely encompassing you.

Once he deems you adequately stretched, he kisses you once again, slow and wet and deep. He asks you for the umpeenth time if you’re ready, if you’re okay with this, and you’re too much of a goner for him to do much more than kiss him and shimmy your hips closer to his own.

You’ll never get used to the first push inward. Sid’s not particularly long, but he’s thick, stretching you wide and hitting all the right spots you never even knew existed before him. His back is curled in a deep arch so he can bury his face in your chest for the initial stretch, like if he looks at you, he’ll lose it. Not that you would know, really, with how you throw your head back into the bottom edge of the pillow. All you can do is make a small “ah” sound, rocking your hips back and forth in an attempt to adjust to his size. Once bottomed out, Sid stays still as long as you need, no matter how the involuntary rolling of your pelvis makes him dig blunt nails into your hips.

“Come on,” you say, finally, hips reduced to tiny twitches, “Fuck me, Sid.” The phrasing draws a broken moan from his throat. He doesn’t bother wasting time with slow, dragging thrusts; just goes straight to fucking you into the mattress with as much speed and force as he can manage. Your ankles barely meet behind his back with how broad his torso is, so you dig fingertips into his shoulders to avoid being driven up the mattress.

No matter how single-minded he may seem as he shoves in and drags out, he still kisses you so sweetly. Whispering endearments and reassurances against your lips (though he still has to crane his head to do so, so maybe avoiding neck pain wasn’t your only motive for getting him into bed), he steadily fucks you into oblivion. By time he sucks a mark just under your jaw that’s sure to last, you’re gone, floating somewhere above yourself. When he comes, he bites into your collar bone, groaning out his pleasure as he fills you. You reply with a groan of your own, acutely aware of the warmth filling you, his cock still spreading you wide.

“Maybe I should dance more often,” you quip, once your breathing settles to something manageable. Sid huffs a laugh into the pillow, rolling to the side to avoid crushing you any more than he already has.

“As long as you’re not looking at any other guys,” he replies, letting his head flop to the side to smile at you.

“You know it’s only ever you, Sid,” you can feel your smile grow into something halfway between giddy and sentimental, “Only you.” He groans dramatically and throws an arm over his face, in a gesture you know means that he wishes he was 18 again so he could go twice in a row. All you can do is laugh and turn toward him, peeling his arm away and giving him a soft, lingering kiss.

“Just make sure you stay on the edge of the crowd so I can actually see you,” he says against your lips, grinning even as you gasp and smack his shoulder.

Over time, you’ve learned that aftercare is important to Sid. He likes to pamper you, to guide you into the shower so he can soap you up and wash you down. He loves to carefully towel you off, pressing gentle kisses to the places he bruised with his mouth and fingers. To cover you with his clothing, a t-shirt that reaches past the mid-point of your thighs and shorts that may as well be capris. To settle you into the bed once the duvet has been tossed toward the hamper, wrapping you in the sheets and comforter, tight against himself. Taking care of you has always been his favorite thing, the way you look up at him with drooping eyes and sleepy voice to thank him for everything. For the reassurance, for helping clean you, for your vaguely sore lower body and the way it makes you feel such deep satisfaction, for loving you, for making you feel loved, for making you believe you are loved. Believe you are loved, are cared for, are worth his love and care. Only you.

#sidney crosby imagine #nhl imagines #RI #andis coping mechanism #nws #scrosby

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