#and the other day we got to the part where the main character properly confronts this man she's betrothed to and she tells him:

[jonathanrook]

okay so like. mymusic is about internalized transphobia. right. we can all agree on this. right.

like, i know that curtis's arc is meant to be allegorical for coming out as gay, but it makes a lot more sense for him to be trans, which means that the music genre(s) you like are akin to genders in this universe, or at least at mymusic.

following this logic, flowchart doesn't like music, making him nonbinary.

which two employees does indie resent the most? flowchart and nerdcore, both for their inability to conform to his rules of music taste gender. we know that indie puts a lot of effort into being a proper impassive hipster, which theoretically he shouldn't have to if that was truly who he was (not to mention that he does this to please his father, which, oof.) we also know that indie can envision himself becoming a nerd, which is specifically the subculture/stereotype most explicitly presented as being "trans."

[randomshipperhere]

Favorite moments from Markiplier Ego vids

From the main series and fan popular ones and the reasons why.

More like me raving about Dark again. Do you have 90 minutes for how did we get here?

ISWM Countdown- 6 days......

ADWM (general)

I’ve never properly discussed why I love ADWM so much but now I get the chance to. I’ll actually get into a dissection post sometime but this is SPECIFICALLY about moments.

“Bonjour” is the greatest joke in this video series and I will not take any criticism.

I have the exact same boots that Mark uses here and I just realized that while rewatching the series for this post. Wild.

He just gave us a massive fan service feast by making all of the fanfics come to life in a comedic, interesting, and very Markiplier manner.

The Romance poster is amazing. I still don’t know who edited that but I want to print it lol.

The fact that we actually get to see (Y/N) Fischbach in the NO option.  I’m so happy Mark is for Y/N rights. Made a post of how funny it is in the ADWM timeline we’re still most likely going around with the name Y/N Fischbach.

We still have the long running joke of not getting back our credit card. 5 years since that date and we never got it back.

Skeleton getting thrown in frame is still an on-going visual gag and I’m sure ISWM will find a way to bring that in. Along with the PB&J and Tuna sandwiches.

ADWM (HORROR)

That ain’t makeup under his eyes, it’s an edit of Mark’s eyes. In the BTS when they reach to filming in the theatre, Amy says they’ll just add it in post production. Gosh dang it’s a good edit that at first glance you’d really think it’s makeup. It’s most obvious at like 1:11-1:30. It adds a creep factor to it. Most fans when watching this don’t quite have the same scared reaction live (on the day) watchers had y’know. Same for the ear ringing. The goosebumps were real.

Dark you’re really making it hard to not fall for you. 6 years of this bullshit we going round and round in circles and you make me grin way too fucking wide damn it.

ADWM (FREEDOM!)

I’ve always found a certain VFX funny. It’s the one where Dark’s outline gets larger in the background. Not good at explaining so timestamp, 0:24. That. Same effect is used in Heist but just the enlarged ears. It’s funny to me okay.

Another case of fanon and death of the author. We all like to think of Dark as this untouchable and indestructible being but when confronted with Mark (or Tyler with a printout of Mark’s face in this case), no murder or fight to the deaths happen. Dark just curses at him and proceeds to bag his fucking head in response to his own head being bagged. Sir, you are so fucking goofy. Just the transition from serious blackmail(?) to the fight. Comedy gold everyone.

When pleading their innocence, Dark’s more controlled movements just screamed theater kid to me. I don’t know, I just really found it charming.

ADWM (LEFT)

Mark’s death sound will never not be funny, I want it as my ringtone.

Dark out here and his first instinct is to reassure us and that’s it’s alright. Master manipulator you are sir! Since you’re fictional I’ll allow it and willingly go forth! At least you had a nice reaction, Mark just assured us that murder was okay in that situation. Even their monologues after, similar script but reactions are night and day.

Also I love chocolate!!!! you aren’t the wrong choice at all~ ISTG if yandereplier didn’t exist I would think you were the yan with your parting words.

Feb 2017 Charity Livestream he explains Amy was the one holding the camera here. So :)))))))))

Markiplier TV

Ethan bless your fucking soul. I love every second of him, especially the one where he came home with flowers.

Santaiplier has a grudge is because of this.

My favorite egos sitting next to each other at the table :D

Someone relaxing in the other room during the ego meeting.

Dark fixing his hair. Fuck this character just needs to exist and I’m head over heels like it’s the first time every time. How annoying.

Host you had so little screen time but I love you to an extent that should not be possible to a minor character who over the span of over 10 years of content has less than a minute and all you did was narrate the event.

SANTA SPILLS THE TEA

2:34 By the district attorney’s body, well I’ll be- I will never get over Santaiplier saying my beloved Dark is NOT on the *not copyrighted* Naughty List. Mark may (jokingly) hate him and Dark’s fans but Santa gets it. One of us! One of us!

Once again. I love Dr. Iplier. This bitch is in my top 5. He’s just so fucking bad at improv. Please don’t let him advertise things. He either forgets or just ignores that the cameras are still rolling

I don’t need to talk about our baby Eric, the fandom already does the justice for him.

Who Killed Markiplier

Poker table recollection by William is underappreciated and I want to say that is in my top moments of Chapter 1.

We’re aware of the Life quotes gif sets from this series and boy are they just immortal. I’ll take all three to print out please!

The groundskeeper is probably the weirdest one off character we’ll ever get.

The Chef is one of my favorite recurring side characters, and the Butler’s presence is nice. It’s funny how little buddy was just there when they rented out the place. The stars aligned for that moment.

Celine, I loved her outfit. Would wear that 10/10.

Actor’s robes are so fucking slutty in the way he descends down the staircase and you just see the legs underneath. No wonder Mark was so careful with how he moved.

Abe. My gosh this detective is so weird but so funny and we just get dragged around and everything is a mess but his presence is fun.

William is a walking fucking stereotype and he is just taken out of Jumanji but he has his own character! I really love the outfit design for him. Those glasses. Very cool. I want to steal those glasses.

Okay but can we talk about how every time Damien is on screen it feels like I’m reading a fanfic but it’s in video form. I swear to God, so many shots it feels like there’s a halo above him. The one on the second floor with those bright ass lights, the gazebo. The whole he’s the only one that trusted you from start to finish (before any of you say there’s the Detective, remember he turns on you for a bit in chapter 3 when Celine arrives at the table). He is an angel. I will die on this hill and I will die for him (quite literally but it technically wasn’t for Damien).

All the Jim videos are a fucking masterpiece of a shitpost that they are my canon Jims. Don’t know those bitches in Markiplier TV, I like them unhinged. Demons Jim is the fucking best.

To note: I’m pretty sure that there were only two hands that it kept alternating with throughout the series. That is Ethan (starting shot in chapter 1), and Amy (last Y/N hand shot in the final chapter with the cane). Make do with that information.

Wilford ‘MOTHERLOVING’ Warfstache

First joke that made me laugh? When the briefcase fell from the car.

Any long time Mark fans know that the party place is the same one from Ninja Sex Party’s Cool Patrol where Mark had a cameo in.

I loved the hmm.... would it classify into environmental story telling? Color theory? IDK. But the way the noir colors with Abe turn into this fucking pop and lively full colored world that Warfstache lives in is just so telling of the kind of characters they are. It’s fucking brilliant. And the way that when they’re in the same frame the colors are somewhere in between those two, it’s just so cool. The art kid in me gives it a thousand thumbs up.

A joke I love to this day: the person who just casually dances away after Abe shot his gun in the air until they’re out of frame.

Wilford doing that thing again where the other person is still talking to them but Wilford isn’t quite there.

The entire car scene. Fuck I love that car scene. Did I mention how much I love the car scene?

The 2 moments where he directly looks at the camera, to you, the viewer while he’s dancing. One at the start and the end. Very cool.

The look of realization in Wilford’s face that he knows Abe. Shit that gets me.

Not at both Wil and Actor saying Celine would carve their hearts out. Bro, she so ruthless.

That small glitch in 10:38.

The fact that Wil’s mustache has frosted pink tips.

The way he just fucking talks to the gun as if it was an actual child.

Both of their acting is top notch. Mick when he finally burst after all of this nonsense, Wil when he delivered his speech to Abe. I will say without bias (and this one really is without bias) that among the WKM storyline videos. This is the series’ Magnum Opus. The Best of the Best.  From the comedy, to crime, and the drama. The tragedy of it all! Even without knowing the story or anything about the Markiplier TV/MarkCU this would be the one video that I would show to friends if they ever asked me to recommend any of his more professionally made videos.

I also feel for Abe to a spiritual level of like wanting to make sense of nonsense even if in the end it doesn’t mean anything. It’s what’s fun for me. Just like right now! with this post! Putting feelings into tangible things through words. With my appreciation for the team’s craft and overanalyzing of things. I like things to make sense even if it doesn’t need to.

DAMIEN

This is a half baked thought process but Celine tells Damien to go to sleep and Dark tells the viewer to go to sleep in don’t remember.

Actor says to Damien what he said to the viewer in WKM “It’s not fair, is it?”

Those earlier two points just point the similarities of The DA and Damien.

First most notable thing. From being the author’s head canon during the WKM explanation stream, Celine and Damien being twins is now canon! Congratulations Mark one of your visions has been fulfilled!

“Don’t let anyone ever leave” Fuck the shitty house entity. All my homies hate the house entity.

Bro let me tell you, I liked Actor even with what happened in WKM but this video made me like him a lot. The lilt, the sing song voice. Bastard but I don’t hate him. Never in the way the majority of the fandom feels for him...

The emotion in fucking “Acting like you’re the only one without blood on their hands!” sent me. Bro u right but you got no right to say that to our sweet beloved Damien. Rude.

Actor just has so much character and I am a villain apologist in multiple fandoms so...

In both WMLW and DAMIEN, Mark just saying the word “carve” in each characters accent gets me in a way I’m not sure how to explain. That’s actually explainable, I liked Heathers. You know the song with the word carve. The ones that do, they get it.

Celine is a very cool sister.

Just the entire exchange towards the end, it was so heartfelt. The emotions, wow. “I can’t remember the last time I slept” “Don’t worry I’ll protect you” and the callback to what Celine said earlier. Celine warning Damien of the consequences of his actions, Damien fully understanding this and taking up that mantle. God, such powerful stuff.

In the explanation stream for DAMIEN, it’s incredible how different his views are about certain characters when you compare it to let’s say the ADWM explanation stream. Speaking of, at the end of the stream, he was basically saying the DA is an observer to everything that happens. We are in DAMIEN as simply the viewer. As the actual you behind the screen. Crazy how we’re such an integral character to the plot even if we can’t do anything because without our presence, these stories wouldn’t see the light of day. What’s a hero without a villain and what’s a story without an audience. We may not directly affect what happens but we do get to see as everything unfolds, as the world gets built and broken down.

(this is a long winded way of me saying that the DA is not being sad and miserable the entire time behind the mirror. We are just vibing. Still don’t let my rant stop you from creating your hundred year stuck in the mirror DA fanfic.)

A Heist With Markiplier

This is the longest of the entire thing so I’ll batch them up and really really make it short as possible.

Main video- banger we got to go on a quick heist adventure. Quick in and out. The story is finished we did the Heist. Mark dummy is incredible comedy in the works. Waiting for this tradition to come back in ISWM.

Dark tunnel & Endings- SMH why does he want to die so badly. No Mark, I will not allow you to kill yourself. Laughed my ass off when we cuffed ourselves to Mark. He ain’t leaving. Very final split up option, I really like the vibe of ending 29. Alright, I’ll live in a foggy area in a cottage. Sure. Ending 30 is amazing with the whole seeing the alternate endings without having been there in that timeline. About Ending 31? I’m just a simple simp simpleton. My most popular post in this fandom is saying how much I love him.

Light tunnel & Endings- Animation is cool as shit. Very sus for Mark to say not again with the alien ending because that implies in Ending 23 that ADWM came first then AHWM. Caveman MatPat fuck yeah. Ending 25 fun but terrifying love the not actually freeze frame. Captain Magnum’s death by snu snu line delivery is funny. Out of all the random deaths, getting cannoned out is my favorite. Golden Treasure’s an entire reference that I like kind of ending. Treasured Gold is cheesy but at least its one of the better endings.

Car & Endings- underrated moment is when you wake up and he cooks breakfast for you. Heist Mark huge BF material. Illinois being such a flirt intentional or not is much appreciated. His wink, with the whiplash! What a heartbreaker but Illinois is pretty charismatic so he get’s a pass. Then there’s this zombie apocalypse route is where Mark is the best partner you could ask for. Like when he punched Zombie Tyler for us, asked us if we were okay and if we needed something for the cough. Ending 4 is cute. Screaming with Ed is great. That oh so familiar pb&j and tuna sandwich options. Endings 8 & 9 are way too wholesome. Time is fucked but we got a scientist this time and Mark is on our side. Awww. Seriously, how sweet. Ending 6 is a very satisfying end. Honestly the Car route is like the best way to go, least bad ends.

Helicopter & Endings- Worst idea since we get sent to prison. Not so bad idea when Mark got punched and we got Yancy singing. Incredibly rude to kick dance us to death but incredibly bittersweet when we had to say our goodbyes. Yancy’s “youse gonna fit riiight in” hits the right notes. Not much to say about the Charm the guards route. Bob and Wade’s appearance :DDD. I have a love-hate relationship with Wilford’s I ❤ U underwear. I love how we’re in the hot seat and we got to live.

The Ned Affair- The Warfstache Saga

This comment sums up everything concisely

yamiaainfero (4 years ago) comments: Warfstache has an affair, murders a bunch of people, and shoots a detective (It was an accident, I swear). Wil...really can't let go of the past, can he?

The Fall of Slender Man

It is canon that Warfstache beat up Slender man during the time he had an afro and went to Jamaica with said afro. His popular ‘Warfstache don’t take shit from nobody’ line.

Warfstache Interviews Markiplier

The Nani is everything to me.

Another moment I found hilarious is the shot where Wilford just wasn’t in the seat and Mark is just continuing on his ramblings as if Wilford was still in that chair.

Final one, is when Wilford unsheathes the knife from his stockings. Like that implied he wasn’t wearing pants during the interview and Mark either wasn’t paying attention or just didn’t comment on it.

And while it was just a funny skit at the time, with the lore we have now it’s interesting how our perception of the video changed. It’s as if Wilford isn’t lucid enough to recall a certain Mark he used to know or this could be the egos testing the waters on how they could kill Mark.

Honorable Mention:

DARKIPLIER vs. ANTISEPTICEYE

For being a canon non-canon and very fan service video. Well it seems on the Mark side it’s non-canon. Jack’s side seems to be semi-canon in fanon lore. Even rewatched explanation video for it. Gosh, simpler times. The bloopers video is such a good cringe too. Seems to be the video that solidifies how Dark is just kinda flirty, kinda sensual without meaning to. So yes people, he is both flirting and threatening you.

+ nose boop and embarrassed reactions from everyone. Fucking SS tier quality bloopers.

The Warfstache Automated Interview Automaton

Honestly I should be ashamed at myself for forgetting this but yeah this short very FNAF inspired CYOA was sad. Potato salad and exotic butters kinda sad. Also whoever created the 3D models. Amazing work.

Don’t Open the Door

Not considered but this was just a fucking fever dream of an experience. The title naming suggests it’s a Dark related video but it’s just Mark. Very confusing.

[chadwickswidowspeak]

Death on the Nile...a very biased review

First off.. you already know why I went to see it (just take a look around my blog lol).

Somethings to get off my chest that really don’t have anything to do with the film--

- I understand (for reasons) why there was barely any promo, but I really would’ve loved to hear Tish talk about why she wanted this part, doing an American accent(!), her insights on the character,  and her thoughts on the fashions dahhling.

- Overall, it was really nice to see Tish on the big screen again!! It has been too long! She looked so good, plus it was nice to see her give us something new, something different. I like that she is switching it up.

My Thoughts on Her Character

The Lewks

- She looked really beautiful in the film. Cheekbones, jawline, and lipgloss was poppin.’

- The finger waves were really cute and soft. This was a totally different look for her and I thought she fit in well with the time period. They obviously took some creative liberties in revamping certain characters. This takes place in 1937.

- The melanin popped as much as it was able... One of my gripes was the lighting!! Sometimes ( in the gif above) you could really see the great job the make up team did (flash on obv lol), but other times it was dark af, but you could see the white people perfectly. (For another day, another rant we’ll discuss in general how the film industry refuses to light black people darker than a paper bag properly)

- Now, her character was the niece and manager of her aunt, the singer, Salome Otterbourne. So, understandably, her looks were more understated and conservative than say, some of the other women. I mean, she was gonna stand out regardless ( they were the only two black people in the main cast), but I still would’ve liked some more pops of color and different styles. The black and white dress a-line dress was my favorite. I’m also interested to know how old she was supposed to be---I’m guessing late 20s, early 30s? She didn’t give me some young girl. Plus, to be a manager of a blues singer? You need to have been in the mix for a bit.

The Character

- I liked Rosalie as a character---she was smart as a whip, observant (which you need to make it out of a murder mystery), and tenacious. In a sea of characters, she definitely stood out.

- Beyond just being her aunt’s manager, she also had a secret romance with this yt man. They didn’t really build up to that, kinda just told us they were in love with each other and *I* didn’t see any chemistry there but...

- However, this gives her character an emotional hook as the mystery and murder unfolds.

- Tish had some great moments i.e confronting Poirot for being a hypocrite, (like I love it when she gets angry and calls him out on his shit--he deserves it), she has a pretty big introduction sequence, where you kind of get a feeling that Rosalie doesn’t take any shit and knows what she wants and how to make it happen. ( the gif below is from that intro scene), also she stayed calling these yt folks out. lol

- Another thing on the romance storyline, it was hard to see it for them because we barely got to see them interact as a couple, romantically. I’m not sure if it’s like that in the book, or if some stuff was cut because off time, or what, but it would’ve been nice to see that explored more. It also would’ve made me feel more for them as a couple  when shit got real.

- The accent! Tish’s character had an American accent, with like a hint of southern belle? I don’t know for sure. Sometimes it worked for me ( like when she got pissed), and other times not as much.  I realize this movie was made several years ago, so I would love to see her revisit that accent now or at some point in the future. 

Final Thoughts

- Although, I only saw this to support Tish, I actually enjoyed the movie as a whole.  I really got into it once the murder happened. It was weird, I went into it convinced of who did it, but literally *everyone* was looking funny in the light tbh.

- The media has been really dramatic about this movie coming out and it is really not that deep. LOL. I hate them, for real.

- And I wouldn’t look at this role as indicative of where she stands now as an actress (go watch her in Small Axe if you haven’t, she kills it.) She definitely did what she needed to do at the end of the day (and wasn’t nobody giving Viola Davis/ Denzel Washington level performances on de Nile ok)

-Tish would be fun to watch in a horror movie. She has a really good scared/shook face LOL

- And if anyone else has seen/hasn’t seen the movie and have comments/questions, hit up my ask box! I’d love to hear your thoughts.

[levicanpunchme]

Eren X Y/N

Genre: Angst/Fluff/Romance

TW: Violence/Murder/Mentions of suicide-Manga spoilers.

Summary: After the attack on Marley, your injured self desperately runs to Eren for answers and his response clarifies your doubts. You realise the end will never change and decide to free Eren-while in the process revealing your real identity.

Soulless

Your mind was numb. The pouring rain felt like rubber bullets piercing your skin and dropping to the ground in retribution. While your body was deadly nonreactive, your heart was so alive, bursting with vigour as it drummed against your chest. You wished the silence of the night would swallow you whole. You wished you were able to foresee that nothing would change; the tragedy would always recur.

Eren Jeager, the only hope left for humanity, bound to save this world from eradication-right?

The shrilling silence of the world weakened your limbs and you fell to the ground as sobs wracked your frame. Your hair was a wet disaster, clinging to your neckline, just the way Eren hated it. He liked it combed back into a neat ponytail. You instinctively grabbed your sticky strands, clutching them together and then you stopped. Your body shook with painful laughter. You were still thinking of him. Your body was still reacting to his likes and dislikes-even after you were confronted with the truth. Pathetic. How pathetic.

You dropped your hand and threw your head into your knees, the aggressive pain weighting down your chest. His laughs, his smiles, his sobs, his cries, his pain, his despair, his excitement, his liveliness playing before your eyes, clawing at your chest. You wanted to touch him. You wanted to shake him. What was he doing? You thought you were changing it. So, the bitter end to this sage was never going to change?

You realised that his bottling pain was going to unleash upon humanity and take everything down with it.

“She’s going to die this way!” You heard a familiar sharp voice cry in the distance. You pretended to ignore it because right now, your conscience didn’t want to hear answers your heart knew.

“Mikasa-bring her inside! This storm will take her away!” Despite your attempts, you identified Jean’s gruff voice and cowered into your lap further. The deafening thunder struck again and your pale body tucked itself deeper, hoping the earth could crush you easily.

A warm embrace cradling your body caused you to stir which made the dull pain in your knee worse as the numbness subsided. You hesitantly opened your eyes and were met with dead ones of Mikasa’s. She locked her arms under your knees and lunged you up, into her arms easily. You stared at the terrorising sky with sobs reaching the horizon.

When Mikasa had brought you into the safety of the farmhouse, all the soldiers circled around you as she placed your wet frame on the ground. You were curled into your body and your knee was bleeding profusely; it only occurred to you now that a bullet had hit you in the Battle against Marley. Your eyes wandered to your comrades who were staring at you, sympathetically, sadly. Someone was examining your wound and shouting for medical equipments.

“Hey Mikasa-” you don’t know why but you called out for her in a small frail voice. She was right beside you as she responded. “Eren. Where is he?” Your weak tone grew aggressive and everyone stared speechless.

“Dungeon,” the low tone of her response made your fury worse. You pushed away the hands attending to your injury and tried to stand up, but embarrassingly fell back.

“Hey-Y/n, now’s not the time! Stay still!” Connie yelled, his narrow eyes wider than usual. You shook your head and your body moved on its own accord, desperately crawling to the stairs. “Stop it! Stop being so stubborn-” Jean’s shouting went through one ear, out the other. Your palms were inflamed from before. As you pushed towards the stairway, you could feel the loose skin tearing from friction; however, there was a greater pain in your chest. You had to get to Eren before the pain burned you alive.

“She won’t stop until she meets him,” this time Captain Levi was the one to speak up and then you felt your body hoisted up onto his shoulder. You fought him for a minute by punching his back but halted when you realised he was actually carrying you downstairs, to the dungeons, to your Eren.

Your eyes narrowed, unaccustomed to the sudden darkness but impatiently opened them, desperate to see Eren. Captain Levi dropped you to the ground and announced casually. “Your lover’s here,” he monotonously said.

“I said no visitors.” Even before you could see him, you heard his threateningly low voice and your soul shook in fear of the reality.

“Shut up,” was the last thing Captain said and then he left.

You turned to the light, which was shining from the fire lamp inside the jail cell and your breathing ceased. Your heart almost lurched out your throat as your gaze met his. The green orbs once bustling with passion were dead-so bleak they made your heart throb. Dead was the once alive forest, dulled into eternity. Every question inside your mind was answered with that one glance. Someone had once told you that the eyes are a gateway to one’s soul which means... Eren was soulless.

“Why’re you here?” He whispered with a bothersome irk in his tone. He ran fingers through his black hair and glanced over at your small frame.

You then saw an emotion ignite in his orbs. He, who was standing five feet away from the cell’s door was suddenly right against it. His towering frame lowered and his orbs shook.

“Y-you got shot?” His voice cracked, his warm hand suddenly touching your face. He stared at your dislocated knee, his chest rose and fell harder and his hand touching you trembled. “Y-you, why’re you injured?” He rasped, his frown deepening as his cold demeanour melted. “I didn’t see this-I didn’t see you injured.” Did he imply that he didn’t see you hurt in the airship or in the future? Your head didn’t function.

Finally, you moved. You slid your hand into the cell’s bar and smacked his cheek hard, imprinting angry red inflammation on his face. He was visibly astounded, his pained eyes widening and then he stared at your hand and grabbed it. “Your palm—” his lip trembled as his gaze traced the skinned palm, red hot flesh brutally exposed to the air.

His lips softly grazed your palm and your toes curled out of love.

“Eren- why?” Your sob pierced through him and yet he didn’t so much so as move. He kept inspecting the wounds, pretending he didn’t hear your screaming.

“Get it checked. Right now,” his command was now monotonous, his eyes threateningly dark. He impatiently gazed back at you and you slapped him again, hard. The sound of your flesh hitting against his resounded within the confinement of the dungeon. This time, he didn’t even flinch.

He again turned his head to look at you. “Y/n, your knee is fucked up. Leave.” You stared at him like he were a crazed man. Your body shook as a cold wave struck your wet frame. You tried to not tuck yourself into your clothes as you daringly kept your gaze at him.

“Eren, you haven’t changed your mind yet?” You heard your voice tremble as your nose burned, tears clogging your vision. This seemed to catch Eren’s attention and his ears perked up, his eyes colder than ever, tracing every inch of you. He waited for you to continue your words but you stayed silent and his aggravation mounted.

“What?” He gruffly muttered. “I had to turn or else they’d never back down-”

“You didn’t have to turn when so many of innocent people were present! Why did you do this.” A guttering groan left his mouth as he watched you breakdown. “Weren’t we innocent? Weren’t our children innocent when they sent titans to invade the walls-?” His harsh tone grew horrid, his gaze unexpectedly dark.

“Do you think if our fucking walls were still intact, we’d be happier?” He rasped, standing up, away from you. You grabbed onto the cold bars and followed, painfully rising up on your feet. Your knee injury was so painful, you had to grit your teeth to avoid screaming.

“Eren—”

“Leave. I don’t want you to understand. I don’t want anyone to fucking understand.”

Your head was pounding, your blood turning cold. This was what you had feared all along. You felt your throat closing up, your breathing staggering as your mind started to convulse the new plan.

“Eren— have you ever wondered why you never saw me?” Eren turned to you, his gaze reflecting his confusion. “Why you never saw me in the past, present or future?”

Eren’s body grew cold.

He stared.

His pupils shook.

In a moment, Eren was against you, his pale face growing horrified as he stared into the soles of your eyes. His chest was heaving, his body shaking.

“H-how do you know?” His breathy whisper cascaded down your forehead and your lips trembled again, a cry leaving your mouth.

“I’m not a part of your world.” You said it simpler than it ever was-to be fair, it was true. You were never supposed to exist in this universe. You were never a part of this story. God knows what happened-when you were suddenly sucked up into this world of titans. Your transmigration left you speechless-dumb and confused. You were so horrified to even breathe when the world you had once seen on your television became a reality.

At first, you thought it was a dream but each passing day mocked your insolent thinking. This world was as real as the normal world: the world of attack of Titan.

Initially, your plan of action was to stay out of main character grounds and disconnect yourself from the plot line- so you tried to fail your training as a cadet. Like a slap to your face, each time you attempted to intentionally fail-your day restarted. After trying again and again, you had bared enough of Keith Shadis’s painful yelling and decided to properly train. As you progressed, you realised, you had to be part of the main plot line or else you’d never get to leave this world.

And soon- you were part of the survey corps. In the first few days of training, you kept your eyes glued to Eren. He was the main protagonist of the show and would end up destroying humanity for Paradis. The realisation that only you knew how the future would unfold gave you a feeling of superiority and power over everyone and you let the overconfidence get to your head. You questioned your role in this- were you supposed to stop the tragedy from unfolding? You decided against it-you didn’t care anyway. You just wanted to live till the end until you could leave.

When the female Titan (Annie) hunted for Eren, you sat back and watched. You remembered soon about the brutal deaths of the Levi squad. Despite knowing the tragic end, you stayed unfazed. And it happened— Eren trusted the Levi squad and didn’t turn until the very end- and they were massacred as if they were destined for it.

Their deaths didn’t hurt you because your mind was so busy thinking of everyone as just ‘characters of a show’ that it didn’t occur to you how awfully human everyone actually was. After that day, one night, you found Eren sitting outside on the patio, staring at the blank sky.

You joined his side since you didn’t feel like sleeping.

“Eren, why’re you here so late in the night?” You wondered, staring at the pale man before you. He didn’t look at you or answer you.

“Eren?” You muttered softly. He was faraway, you could tell.

“When this ends, I’ll never be able to live.”

Your eyes widened as you watched his lips twist into an agonising smile. “Why did I live to be the one?” His voice cracked and he stared at you.

“I don’t want this. I never wanted to do it, y/n.”

“I wish- I wish someone killed me before I could get hold of the founding. Every death I cause... every death I will cause... I won’t be able to atone it.”

“I don’t want to be that heinous monster.”

“Y/n, can you free me?” The longing in those orbs left your heart palpitating. Sadness and regret ceased your mind. Without thinking, you slammed your lips into his. You didn’t know where the emotion emerged from, but it overwhelmed you so much, you wanted to drink away every ounce of pain from Eren’s troubled mind. To your surprise, he kissed back desperately as if for a moment- he was not Eren Jaeger, the owner of the attack Titan, not the humanity’s hero-not a destructive weapon against the world, just Eren.

When the kiss ended, reality kicked in. Eren stared at you confusedly, doubtfully and then used his powers to eradicate the memories of what he had said to you and what you had done to him.

Little did Eren know, you were immune to his power.

And then you embarked on a journey with a new objective: you had to change the future or the end would be the same.

Your first mission was to expose Reiner and Berthrold before they could cause more trouble but it caused a malfunction-everything glitched and restarted. Your attempts went in vain. You tried and struggled but later realised that you could not change anything.

You tried time and time again to save Eren. At the airship, your desperation to save Sasha blinded you. You attempted to shut the door of the airship, but in the end, Gabbi still stalked her way inside. You attempted to shield Sasha but in the end, two bullets were fired, one at your knee and the other at Sasha.

There was nothing you could do.

In the end... you will lose Eren as a monster to this world.

“Eren— you told me to free you. You told me you wanted to be normal boy-away from war. You dreamt of a family. A family of your own.”

Eren’s heart was pounding, your words dull in his eardrum as the only sound he could hear was his heart. Everything he had said to you... while staring at the blue sky-every honest word he had told you- you remember. You remember it crystal clear.

All this time, he felt alone. He had so much to say- so much to tell his friends and yet he could only pathetically take away those memories. It destroyed him. To repeat the things again and again and wipe them away like he was messing around on a whiteboard. The turmoil raging inside his heart wanted to break free and destroy everyone. He was terrified.

And yet you remembered. You stuck to him every time he felt alone as he would empty his chest off its litter. He told you his selfish desires which he never even shared with his friends and you never struck him with shock. Your gaze remained honest and pure while looking at only him. You listened. You silently understood.

Then he would repeat the same cycle and erase those times.

How did the memories never leave you?

“Eren, I love you.”

It was the last thing you said to him as you stared into his watering eyes. Your sobs transgressed the earth, shattering pieces of your heart. With trembling hands, you pulled out the black rifle. Standing before him, your quivering hands held the gun at your lover’s forehead.

He stared at you. His lips curled up into a genuine smile which you’ll forever commit to memory, his eyes brimming with tears but never leaving your soul. He held your hand, caressing the skin. Without blinking, breathing, he kissed your callous skin one last time.

“Thank you.”

You pulled the trigger.

Screams ripped out your chest.

Someone yelled in the distance.

Someone held you down.

The last thing you saw was the splitting image of a green-eyed boy who once dreamt of freedom laying soulless on the red ground.

A/N: Please note that I never claim my writing is a solution to AOT. It’s not smart and may have plot holes. I just wanted Eren to leave the AOT world like a normal person-friend-lover and not a genocidal criminal. I really wanted to express this version of Eren Yeager.

[seths-wife]

Theory: why is Seth Twiright the demon of wrath? What's his backstory?

Note: this theory tries its best to be as objective as possible in explaining and deducing facts basing on only what is known in the novels and not basing on personal preferences and sensibilities, just cold gathering of the facts and trying to draw plausible conclusion. That doesn't mean i'm right, necessarily.

Index:

1) Demon of wrath or demon of pride? (Biblical references and discordance of themes).

2) Was Seth a victim of abuse? (Can we draw this conclusion basing only on what we know?)

3) That one comic by Ichika

4) Conclusion

Chapter 1: demon of wrath or demon of pride?

Seth is a really peculiar character: the sin he's represented by doesn't seem to be...displaying that much, contrary to those of the other demons in this series.

Gilles is clearly lustful (basing on the catholic religion definition of it, at least) seen his high sex drive.

Vlad is not really explained but he's a cook so he must be obsessed with food (joke), also his interactions with Banica seem to suggest a morbid curiosity of his to try new foods for hedonistic pleasure, no matter if it's immoral and illegal to eat those.

Marie Annette is a really prideful human/demon seen her few lines in the entire series, like "bow down to me" without any legitimate reason.

Eve...well...on another theory about that...

Rahab is clearly envious when also other people get what she has, seen that she's basically the ec version of Ayano Aishi and a big stereotypical yandere, at least in one part of the narrative.

Salem (does he even exist? (joke)) is an economist so he must be obsessed with money and gathering earthly and perishing goods. (joke)

I won't talk about Adam Moonlit as the demon of greed here as it's for another topic.

But Seth? When in the series does he show unrighteous wrath? Do we see him get angry outbursts and go around beating up and killing people because he's angry at them?

No.

On the contrary, in the whole series Seth seems to be pretty calculating and cold, and he doesn't seem to be really excessively troubled by any behavior or at least he doesn't really show a strong vengeful attitude towards them.

Yes, he might get on bad mood when his plans don't succeed as he expected to, but he never goes like "you'll pay for ruining my plan" or something. He proceeds with his plans, trying to adjust the latters in order to fit the new situation.

Actually, sometimes he seems to find amusing and funny when people try to kill him and unmask (pun or not lol) him for his evil bahaviour, like when Adam tried to kill him and the latter was surprised he couldn't succeed since Seth outsmarted him, or Gammon when he confronted him about brainwashing Miroku.

It's as if Seth finds funny when people are frustrated because of him, it soothes his ever-roaring mind and boredom.

For months, i've thought that Seth should have been the demon of pride because of his attitude in the crime novel and because it fit him better as for the Biblical references:

We see multiple instances in the crime novel that Seth likes himself very much: he loves the fact that he consideres himself to be the best scientist in the country™ as he uses this bunch of words everytime he introduces himself (both as Horus and as himself), also he considers himself to be very handsome to the point he doesn't want to change his face because it would be "such a terrible crime" (i mean, i also think he's hot but Seth, calm down, what the hell...).

But his pride doesn't end with him flaunting his intelligence and hotness.

There are also other instances of Seth's pride that are even more remarkable.

Like for example, the whole matter of Seth making artificial humans (so called "ghoul children") mimicking the creation of the "gods" in the series. This can be considered a matter of pride, as he wants to act as the "gods", he thinks he's able to be on par of them.

Well lol, gods...i always found pretty unrealistic how we got from human scientists with high tech from almost omnipotent beings that can cast lightening wherever they want, make ladies pregnant and instill thoughts and visions in people in a single arc while being trapped inside of a spaceship. This always provoked some strong cognitive dissonance within me, this sounds like a stretched, inappropriate and unrealistic even if they have big tech. That's why i call them "gods wannabe". They're still humans playing God after all.

But that's besides the point.

Even more remarkable is this other line, right after quoting the achievements of other "gods" in the series:

"In that case—

I am the god who creates “evil”.

Seth is literally and explicitly placing himself in the place of the gods, considering himself to be a god on par of the pillar ones in the series.

And this is very coherent basing on the fact he should be the parallel of the Biblical serpent, the demon who thought he was on par of God and fell because of pride.

So it would have had much more sense to have Seth as the demon of pride.

So when and why is seth the demon of wrath since in the series it looks more like he's the demon of pride?

His motive? Not really...Seth doesn't seem to act because of some sort of anger as his main motivation is to "follow his h.e.r.s nature and make himself 'new friends' (his own definition of friends)".

Then i think we have no choice than look at his backstory and see if we can spot some unrighteous anger there.

Chapter 2: is Seth a victim of abuse and angry at his mother?

The vast majority of the theories around about the reasons of Seth's evil are based off the fact that Seth might have gone through motherly abuse that provoked him some childhood traumas back when he was a little white and red mask.

Those assertions are usually backed up by pieces of the short story "Outlaw and lychgate".

Let's look at them.

The most quoted line about this issue is:

“My, and what sort of dish is that?”

“It’s not really much of a dish. You just splash some curry powder and ketchup on a sausage. My old ma used to make it for me a lot when I was a child.”

“Just like mom used to make, hm. That sounds quite nice. My mother never did any home cooking for me.“

Well...from this particular line, fans have begun to speculate than maybe his mother starved him or refused to cook for him.

But is it necessarily the case? It can be a possible interpretation but we don't know how masks work in this series or whether or not they need to eat, especially since they don't have a mouth or a digestive system of some sort.

It can also be that Seth was just curious about food in the line upwards since as a mask maybe he could not experience food, given that he couldn't physically eat when he was a mask.

This doesn't necessarily refer to an abusive situation of a mother refusing to provide food and care for her son.

There is also another instance in which Seth spoke about his mother.

"I often hear strangers tell me that they can’t tell what I’m thinking.

Even my own mother said so, before she died.

That’s why, to get her to understand at least a little bit, I shot her in the forehead.

To this day I still remember how stopped moving, her mask cracked in two.

That was the first murder I committed."

Ok, the fact that his mother "didn't understand him" could have been because of various reasons:

1) maybe she didn't try to understand him and neglected him.

2) maybe Seth became too different from his mother since he contracted hers and she couldn't understand and relate to him anymore even if she tried to.

3) Seth is just too cryptic or changes his mind too fast (probably because of his boredom) when it comes to expressing his true intentions or having certain intentions therefore people have big trouble understand him.

I would go for 3 since Seth also explained that not only his mother didn't understand him but also various other characters, so it's not necessarily true that Seth's mother just refused to listen and understand him, it could have been that Seth was too cryptic or that she couldn't relate to a her.

Anyways, we don't have a lot of info about this but i don't think it is correct to see a mysterious passage in just one possible way.

And also i wouldn't like for Seth to be "he's evil because mommy wasn't nice therefore he's angry and wants to make everyone like him and destroy everything uwu" because:

1) that's a really misused trope.

2) it doesn't properly explain why Seth did what he did in the crime novel, it's clear that there has to be an even deeper motivation that made him do those horrific things: abuse is too much of a simplistic and lazy motivation given his role.

Also there is no specific mention of anger and resentment even if there could be.

So where can we see that Seth is angry?

Chapter 3: that one Ichika comic.

Let's look at this one comic.

It is kinda difficult to understand what it means but the face resembles Seth's human form a bit and also this comic shows a theme of anger against the human creators of the first period since the comic seems to be talking about the second one "in this world where everything is an extension" (the second period is a virtual parallel reality to the first one in the series).

Seth seems to be pretty aware of the first period.

I think so because Kiril (his clone) at one point gained back the memories of his original.

Who? Seth? Pale? (That twist complicated things a whole lot).

I will go for Seth since in the series he's always referred to as the original talking about his "clones".

Kiril with Seth's memories came up with "Vocaloid, huh?!", showing awareness of the knowledge of vocaloid (since the first period is similar to the real world in the series) but i don't think this is an info Kiril learnt on his own but he took from Seth's memories since he was a researcher of parallel worlds and wouldn't have been out of place for Seth to learn about the first period.

So, given that Seth is the one of the comic and he's talking about the humans of the first period, he seems to be angry at the fact he was born to be an her (let's remember the humans of the first period started the her problem for their own personal gain) and in the society of the second period he's seen as a problem because of that.

Therefore Seth in his anger invites people to blame the creators instead of him since he doesn't think to have a free will and has no other choice than being evil because of those humans who "made him this way".

Funny how the same topic is faced with Irina and Levia in the duel. And funny how Levia in this series seems to also be a victim of her own pulsions and can't really be a moral authority in this, again, gods wannabe. They have their morals inspired by their originals who made their avatars who have tainted them with a virus, so they can't create, define or judge good and evil themselves.

So funny.

Chapter 4: conclusions.

So i think this is a plausible reason Seth might be the demon of wrath. But still, i wonder how it is that Seth is happy later on to follow those pulsions he thinks he can't control (given by humans) and doesn't try to fight back the instincts.

Maybe he accepted and got happy with his disease or he just resigned that that was his destiny thinking that he had no choice.

I don't know if i will make anymore theories after this, since i want to go on and make content for something else.

[ilovejevsjeans]

Daniel Ricciardo on his passion for combat sports, a walkout song and the time he asked Lewis Hamilton to ‘fight’

McLaren Formula One driver Daniel Ricciardo, who currently sits seventh in the driver standings heading into this weekend’s Spanish Grand Prix, is among the world’s best behind a steering wheel. But how would he fare if he swapped his racing gloves for boxing or MMA gloves?

“I’d love to do a charity boxing match or something just to feel that adrenaline of walking to a ring,” Ricciardo said. “It’s on my to-do list for sure. At school I had a few little fights but nothing crazy. Nothing I’d brag about here.”

Ricciardo says he learned the sport of boxing from a friend who fought as an amateur growing up. However in recent years his love of combat shifted more toward mixed martial arts, a sport that is “quite beautiful. It’s an art form and I was just taken by it.”

The Australian — who boasts 4.6 million followers on Instagram — rarely misses a fight night, whether that’s a small card or pay-per-view. Every Monday he gears up for multiple MMA podcasts to hear analysis on what just took place in the cage.

In an exclusive interview with The Athletic, Ricciardo opened up about his love for fighting, which driver would make the best opponent and why Lewis Hamilton turned down an opportunity to get in the ring against him.

You’re an avid fight fan. How did this passion for the sport start?

One of my best friends growing up, when he was growing up, he was doing amateur boxing and got very good at it. I was then doing my racing and he was doing his boxing. We were both on a bit of an unconventional path — both individual sports, not really the typical sports the kids at school were doing. We had that in common. Once I started taking my racing more seriously I began taking my fitness more seriously. So I started going to his gym to just train. I really enjoyed doing it. But the truth is — I don’t want to lie to anyone. I’m not a fighter. As much as I would picture beating the bully up at school, it’s not me. But I just fell in love with not only doing it but also watching it.

I enjoyed watching boxing but it was really when I got exposed to MMA … It just had me. It was back in 2011 when I started properly getting into it. It was the quickest sport I had ever been absorbed by. I was all in.

My whole YouTube feed is just all MMA shows, whether it’s press conferences, interviews, podcasts. It’s just full of MMA stuff. I’m a full nerd now.

Being in Australia and traveling a lot, are you forced to get up at weird times for fights?

The beauty was I was in LA when (Conor McGregor vs. Dustin Poirier 2) was on so it was prime time and I was happy. But normally in Europe, it’s 4 a.m. or 5 a.m., which isn’t as good. Any kind of sporting event that you look forward to, it’s always cool when it’s in the evening because you have all day to get ready and talk about it. If you wake up at 4 a.m. it’s like “ugh,” and then you’re straight into it so there’s not as much of a build-up. But it’s all good.

So do you still train at all?

No. To races, my trainer carries some pads and gloves just to stay a little sharp and change it up. If I’m getting my reflexes with some tennis balls, maybe I throw in a bit of a boxing combination or something. Again, I’m not saying I’m good or anything. But I just enjoy the whole movement part of it.

Boxing was cool and I enjoyed watching it growing up. But there was something with MMA where there’s just so many different disciplines and the matchups … as a contest it was so much more open and for that, exciting. I feel — I know it’s not always the case — you can kind of tell in boxing if someone is getting momentum, the advantage. It’s like “this guy is going to win the fight.” But in MMA, it’s like “this guy is winning standing but if this goes to the ground, it’s back to square one.” So I just loved it. I was really immersed by it all.

Did you have a particular fighter or fight that got you hooked early on?

One of the first events I watched was UFC 116. Chris Leben was on the card and I think he was losing the fight. And then he got a triangle with probably 20 seconds to go in the third round, so that was really exciting. Stephan Bonnar was also on that card and he got a really cool finish on “The Polish Experiment” Krzysztof Soszynski. That was a card for me where I was very taken from that. Then I discovered “The Ultimate Fighter.” I just binge-watched all of those (seasons).

In terms of fighters, Leben was a character, I liked him. Carlos Condit. I’d say Condit and Cub Swanson were two guys I got behind early on. Condit, I love his style and the way he carries himself.

Have you been to a lot of cards in person?

The very first one I did was the best for me personally. To this day, it’s my favorite sporting event I’ve ever been to: (Conor) McGregor-(Chad) Mendes. Vegas in July 2015. Obviously McGregor, but he wasn’t yet a champion and still kind of on the rise. It was the energy and atmosphere. It was just wild.

The whole event too. (Robbie) Lawler-(Rory) MacDonald, which had the fight of the year. Every fight on the main card I think was a finish, so I got very lucky at my first event.

I’ve done (Michael) Bisping-(Anderson) Silva in the UK. That was a great contest as well.

There are a lot of great fighters from Australia and New Zealand like Israel Adesanya, Alexander Volkanovski and Robert Whittaker. Have you had a chance to meet any of them?

I haven’t met them. A couple of them I’ve had interactions with on social media. But I love Whittaker, obviously Volkanovski is killing it. I’m fairly patriotic to the Aussie fighters. If they are fighting, 99 percent of the time I’ll be supporting them. But one of my good buddies is roommates with Luke Rockhold, so I got to know Luke the last couple of years. I was trying to do some training over Christmas with him but it didn’t end up working out.

I know you’re a big shoey guy. What do you think of Tai Tuivasa doing it after wins?

I’ve had a bit of contact with Tuivasa as well. It’s obviously great. But one thing I can’t get behind is spitting. That’s a little extra.

Plus he’ll grab some random fan’s shoe.

He definitely takes it to the next level. It’s cool that — as disgusting as it is — we have some traditions like this.

Shifting a bit to F1, have you ever gotten into any big fights on the track? What was the worst fight you’ve gotten in?

Earlier in go-karting there was a bit more. Unfortunately in F1, I guess because you’re on the world’s stage, even if you push someone you probably are going to get a fine or get penalized. At times it’s a little too clean. But I’m still waiting for the day that someone confronts me and I just lay them out (laughs).

You also just seem a lot more laid back than a lot of other drivers, so you’d probably not be my first choice of someone getting into a fight soon.

I’m all talk, it would be nice obviously to not have to fight anyone. But no one would expect it from me. Even when I tell people I’m a fight fan, people are like “oh really? You’re into that? You seem too nice to like that.”

But to get where I have in the sport, you need a bit of a killer streak in you. I do have it, but don’t always show it.

What other driver would make the best fighter?

I know some guys have done — for fitness — hit some pads. Randomly, he doesn’t have a seat this year, but Daniil Kvyat started doing quite a lot of boxing last year for his training. I saw a few clips and it started to look like he knew what he was doing. I would say he would be the guy who has the most idea. I’d put him and myself up there. The rest I don’t think stand a chance.

So if you had a charity event, you don’t have anyone in particular you’d want to go against?

To be honest, I actually asked Lewis Hamilton. At the beginning of 2016, he posted a video on his Instagram hitting pads. I was as well at the time, so I was like “hey, let’s do a charity fight.” I asked him in person. But he didn’t bite on that one so I was a little sad.

I might re-ask the question.

What about Max Verstappen? For people who watched the first season of the F1 show “Drive to Survive” on Netflix, I’m sure they would love to see you guys throw down at some point.

That would have been cool as well (laughs). Max would be a good competitor in the ring. The way he drives, he’s quite stubborn. He’d be a hard guy to put away. He’s probably the guy that you’d choke him and he’s going to sleep and not tapping. That would make an interesting one.

In contrast, is there an MMA fighter you’d like to race on the track?

An obvious one would be Conor McGregor. To hear in his Irish accent all kinds of things, that would make pretty good television. And he loves his cars. It’s obvious, but that would probably be the best.

How often would you say you watch fights now? Not just PPVs, right?

Unless I have something like work or another commitment, I’m watching it every week. Mondays I’m getting ready for every podcast. I sound like a real nerd but it’s just an addiction. I love it. Anyone doing that for Formula 1, I’d be like “you’re such a nerd,” but here I am doing it with MMA.

Is it hard to follow everything during the race season?

If I can’t see it live, then 100 percent I’m going to watch the replay or buy it later. But it’s also a good escape. If I’m traveling and I’m in between races, to get my mind away from my competition, I like to watch it. I also try to pick up things as well. Whether it’s from a mental point of view … I’ll look at the walkouts and how they are behaving. I try to figure out if they are really as calm and collected as they are portraying or if it’s a bit of a facade. I’m trying to work out what I can use in my events.

Do you have a walkout song prepared if you were to fight?

I’ve thought about it. The short answer is no. You typically have to have something heavy and fast, but I fell in love with Chris Weidman’s “Won’t Back Down.” It’s not typically a song that will pump you up but it’s so iconic and now it’s his, it’s very fitting.

I’d go for something more lyrically powerful as opposed to instrumental. I loved Max Holloway’s, I think it’s called Mount Everest (by Labrinth). (X)

[wing-ed-thing]

Fraternizing and Spineless (Kabuto x Reader, Part V)

Synopsis: Kabuto has a fixation and you sometimes apologize to inanimate objects. Ever since one fateful day, you’ve been drawn to each other from opposite sides of the battlefield.

Word Count: 2,799

Warnings/Tags: Physical Bullying, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Threat of Kidnapping/Attempted Kidnapping, Foul Language, Derogatory Language, Fem!Reader, Would y’all classify pining as angst?@tiktoktheclockisticking​ 

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Finale

Notes: This chapter is fairly violent. Nothing’s gory it’s just violent so please be warned. I kept it as vague as I could while still getting the point across. 

If you’re dissatisfied with what you’ve had in the past, you can just find other things and just add them to yourself from here on out.

Kabuto never had much to begin with, nothing he could truly call his. And even then, they were, for the most part, gifts. His glasses were a gift. His first name was a gift as was his last name. Much like an equation, Kabuto could always simply add and he always knew some semblance of the outcome.

But now there was you and Kabuto once again found himself unsure. He remained on the very edge of your bed all night, almost afraid to sit comfortably. He shook his leg anxiously, wired by the lack of sleep. Kabuto plus you. He didn’t know the answer. To add you meant to subtract other things. He had gotten used to those other things. And now, he was unsure if they even fit in the first place. Kabuto thought that maybe by the time morning came he would know, but dawn was just beginning to break. And much to his dismay, he found himself just as unsure as when night enveloped the sky.

You loved him. No one had ever told Kabuto that in his life. You loved him, and for what? He didn’t think he did a lot for you. He lounged on your furniture. He read your books and liked to make you flustered. Kabuto dared to gaze down at your unconscious form. His hand ghosted the outline of yours underneath the covers. He bit his lip. He liked being here. He liked to read with you. He loved your smile when you cooked together, when you read the comic section of the paper, when you stayed up late to talk… But was a life with you something he deserved? He didn’t think so.

You began to stir. Kabuto weaved a few hand signs. He didn’t even look as his palm made careful, yet swift, contact with your forehead. He couldn’t. Kabuto buried his face in his hands. He bought just a bit more time to think. Just a bit more time. Just a bit more time.

And by the time you woke up, you woke up with a start. You jumped, gasping as the blanket flew off of you. You glanced wildly around the room. Kabuto was nowhere to be found. Your heart beat rapidly in your chest. Kabuto had been wrong. The morning was here and you didn’t feel better.

***

You had plenty of time in your career as a ninja to properly map out the Hokage building. But even still, you never did and found yourself, per usual, lost. The halls looked the same for the most part. The rooms still went by the same number system used back with the first Hokage. And really, you didn’t have the mental energy to figure it out, not today. Despite the amount of alcohol you had last night, you could remember what happened vividly. Iruka, the good time you had, your teammates, and the burning humiliation. Kabuto. You wouldn’t have been here if you could help it.

You let out a sigh of relief halfway up the stairs as you spotted the sign at the top. You were almost on the right floor. Swinging open the door with a heave, you were met with the administrative assistant. You followed the curve of the hallway with your eyes. You could see the door to the Hokage’s door. The administrative assistant paid you little to no mind, sitting quietly behind his large, cluttered desk. You approached, tense.

“Hi, uh, I’ve been summoned?” You peeped. He didn’t look up from his work. You opened your mouth, then closed it. More silence. You tried again “I was summoned by L—” His head snapped up in annoyance and rolled his eyes.

“Name?” He asked forcefully, lugging a large book out from underneath a stack of others. You told him your name quietly and anxiously. The assistant stopped and let out a vexed grunt. You stood completely still, tense. You folded your hands neatly in front of you. He slammed the book back on the pile he got it from, causing you to jump, and instead began to rifle through one of his drawers.

“This is for you.” He held a small envelope to you. You stared for a second at the small rectangle confused before the assistant began to shake it. You apparently did not take the document quickly enough. The assistant turned straight back to his work. Confused, you opened the letter. You scanned the page, eyes widening in shock as you glanced up.

“Under investigation?” You gasped, the notice shaking in your hands. “A-And I’m suspended? For how long?” As if you didn’t have enough to deal with today.

“I don’t know, okay?” The assistant huffed. “All I know is that you’re not seeing the Hokage today.”

You had so many questions, but knowing that none of them were going to be answered, you left. And as you departed from the Hokage building, you were completely unaware that you were being stalked from the shadows.

***

Kabuto was running on fumes. Too wired to sleep, too tired to think. He felt the need to do something, so once again, he found himself in the lab. But after looking over his selection of possible specimens to study, Kabuto quickly decided that creating plans for experiments required much more effort than he had in him. He turned to cleaning and reorganization, a simple and mindless task. He had already made his way from the main laboratory to a few minor storage closets to yet more old exam rooms. Kabuto always took pride in a clean workspace, though Orochimaru had never been as dedicated.

Once again, his thoughts returned to you and he restrained himself from physically hitting his head against the nearest hard surface. He adjusted the gloves on his hands and picked up a labeled bin. Kabuto couldn’t help but wonder about what you were doing right now or if you had forgiven him. He knew perfectly well from day one that he had grown completely attached, but never had he expected for things to turn out like this. Kabuto stacked the bin with a few others in a corner of the extensive space. He leaned against the wall with a sigh, silently defying his better judgement by asking himself if you were truly happy in the Leaf. Helplessness washed over him. Yet another thing he didn’t know. He hated that feeling.

Kabuto slammed his fist against the wall next to him and a hollow reverberation echoed through the room. He blinked at the space under his wrist, giving it another strike. He turned to fully face the panel, hands spread across the cold surface. Kabuto tapped at it, shifting to his left and right to find where his tapping felt solid and where it felt empty. But with a few hand signs in the right spot, the wall disappeared to reveal a small back room.

Kabuto wandered in, kunai drawn. In the center of the room sat a lone examination table, straps sewn to the sides. Papers lay strewn around. A few vials were randomly shoved onto makeshift shelves. A chakra test kit sat at the foot of the table. Kabuto spotted a file under the single lamp that swung from the bare ceiling. Flicking it open, he found what he dreaded most. He felt a presence at the doorway. Kabuto’s shoulders dropped.

“I thought we weren’t going to pursue the girl.” He tried to make his voice as emotionless as he could. Anyone else and he would have been convincing.

“I put a lot of effort into safeguarding this room, you know.” Kabuto scoffed.

“Well, what can I say, Lord Orochimaru, you taught me well.” He turned to face the Sanin. Orochimaru stood, leaning against the doorframe. “I must say that I’m surprised. There never has been a whole lot you’ve kept from me.”

“Sure there has,” Orochimaru laughed, a certain amount of bite in his tone. “And you’ve been far too invested. I had to take things into my own hands.”

A pause. Kabuto stared at his mentor and a life changing choice stared back. All of his previous thoughts confronted him at once and he quickly came to a realization. He was out of time. For the whole day he had been putting off his decision by staying up all night, by avoiding strenuous work. But now, he stared the embodiment of his questions in the face.

“She’s protected in the village and well loved,” A lie, but one Kabuto tried his best to convince himself of. “She wouldn’t be an interesting test subject anyway.” Orochimaru frowned, eyes half lidded.

“Kabuto, your girlfriend leveled the entire eastside base.”

Kabuto did remember. He remembered the ambush at the base. How regretfully your team of Leaf shinobi had gotten the better of him. He remembered waking up without a scratch in a mile-wide crater, your body half flung over his torso. The underground base had been completely excavated and decimated to smithereens. The laboratories were gone. The many rooms and hallways were gone. All that remained were the two of you. And that’s how Kabuto Yakushi met you.

“She gave you what you wanted in exchange for the scroll.” The kunai in his hand hung by the loop on his finger, but not put away. He methodically fiddled with it’s handle.

“A few tests for a fake scroll is a measly trade,” Orochimaru rolled his eyes, though the mischief in them wasn’t lost. “Nothing I did warranted what you gave her.”

“I just gave her what you promised.” Kabuto narrowed his eyes, “So why does it look like you’re going to perform an extraction? She’s not even here.”

“And that, Kabuto, is where you’re wrong.”

***

You took your usual shortcut home. You could always tell how close you were by the number of trees. The Hokage building had always been around the epicenter of all the bustle in Konoha, and for good reason. But most of the time, you enjoyed a break from the intensity of ninja life and settle into your apartment near the outskirts of town. You cut through a thick patch of trees. A trail had been beaten into the ground long ago. The area felt like a park and served to remind you of the scenery just outside of the village. But you couldn’t enjoy your walk this time. You sensed a presence.

You began to walk faster and that was when four figures jumped out at you from the treetops. Their hitai-ate gleamed in the interrupted lighting. Sound ninja. You immediately disappeared, a jutsu you no longer needed hand signs for, and camouflaged into the scenery around you. But despite your fast-moving efforts, you were still grabbed and thrown to the ground. Your fragile jutsu broke, but you scrambled up quickly, kunai in hand. You turned on your heel, lowered in a defensive position.

“Please go away,” You nearly whimpered, “I’ve had such a rough week. Try again next week!” You argued as if that mattered to your band of attackers.

“Lord Orochimaru has explicitly expressed that we are not to leave without you.” As the words left his lips, you couldn’t help but wonder if this had been Kabuto’s doing. Though, if he had wanted to abduct you, he could have done so last night and perhaps that wouldn’t have been so bad. But you didn’t have enough time to wonder. Out of the corner of your eye you saw a volley of projectiles. You leaped to the ground, arms coming to wrap over your head.

An uproar above you. Weapons clashing and pained cries. Your head stayed down. And as the bodies of your old problem hit the ground, you heard the voice of your new problem.

“I knew you were a traitor.”

***

Kabuto refrained from gritting his teeth.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Orochimaru only smirked smugly.

“A healing chakra that can pack the power of lightning and you wonder what we can do with that?” The Sannin shrugged. “We don’t know if it’s a kekkei genkai. Perhaps a new breed of ninja but that kind of power could do many things. One could even say—” He met Kabuto’s eyes, antagonism built up and glittering in his own, —“that power could restart a heart. With enough control, that is.” Kabuto moved forward to walk back out through the doorway, but Orochimaru blocked his path.

“What is it, Lord Orochimaru?” He asked with as much restraint he could muster.

“You’re not planning to go to her are you? She’ll be here any minute.” Kabuto hesitated and for once told a most vulnerable truth.

“I really don’t know what I’m going to do.” And he was allowed to pass.

***

“Thank you for saving me!” You scrambled up to your feet, eyes wide and on the fallen bodies of your attackers. But before any of the situation could process you heard a shout of warning.

“Don’t you come any closer, Sound ninja bitch!” The kunoichi from your team stood in front of you, weapon pointed in your direction. Your head turned towards her, confused and surprised.

“What?”

“I said don’t come any closer!” You held your hands up, truly not wanting any trouble. The patch of forest didn’t dare to make a sound and neither did you. Your teammate circled you, coming closer with every circulation. Her stance never faltered. “I knew you were a lying rat from the very beginning. We all did.”

“I think there’s been a misun—”

“Keep your fucking hands up!” You listened, spreading your palms to the air. Your neck scrunched downward into your collar as you flinched. “You’re pretty fucking dumb to meet with your buddies in the open like this, even if you are close to village limits.” You kept your lips folded in a thin line. The kunoichi snarled at you. “Pick up your kunai.”

“I’m not going to fight you,” You expressed with a certain amount of reluctance and your response only served to further anger her. She sheathed her weapon and shoved you to the ground.

“What? You think you’re better than me, you sellout?” She grabbed your hair, forcing you to meet her eye. Her hand crossed right across your cheek, the sting prickling on your skin. Even so, you refused to fight a comrade. “When the others get here we’re going to take care of you—” She continued to whale on you with her fists. Your nose began to bleed. —“And we’re going to take care of that boytoy of yours too!”

And as you bled, all you could mewl was, “Please stop.” You felt a warmth spreading over your face and an uncomfortable mending. The kunoichi stared down in disgust from her vantage over you. A blue aura spread across your skin, not of your own control.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” She landed another blow to your face, her fist coming in direct contact with the blue air. A spark of chakra and she recoiled her hand with a growl. “You think you’re going to shock me? You think you’re going to hurt me with some weak ass lightning jutsu. Show me some respect and fight me like a ninja!” She punctuated each word with a strike. You sat up quickly only to be pushed back down. “Oh you finally got some fight in you, traitor?” She repeated the name like a mantra.

She didn’t notice how you had stopped bleeding or how the energy around you began to violently fluctuate. You had become completely resigned, quiet, and silently crying. You couldn’t help but wonder if you deserved this. Perhaps you shouldn’t have tried to save someone who wasn’t your own. But he turned out to be the only one who actually cared about you, unconditionally. You knew that you could never have had a happy future in the Leaf. Your heart ached for your new friends, for Iruka’s friendship, peace between shinobi nations, and for Kabuto. The tears streamed down the side of your temples but you didn’t say a word. You could feel the energy build up within you.

You tried to warn her, but one last punch and you knew it was over. The blue aura shrunk against your skin all over your body and then, in an instant, burst. An electric wave shot out from your being. The ground cracked. The trees snapped. You saw her eyes widen as the energy shot through her chest. The kunoichi looked at you, eyes wide in fear and you knew that by the time she hit the ground that she was dead.

Notes: Very dramatic, no? I didn’t know where this series was going from chapter 1. I thought maybe a slice of life but it’s taken a turn. Next chapter will be the finale! Woop woop!

Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, and followed. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[belle-keys]

I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

[davidmann95]

now that it's over, thoughts on Bendis' Superman as a whole?

pretenderoftheeast said: So, thoughts on Bendis' Superman and Action Comics' tenure altogether and separately now that it's over?

Anonymous said: Best and Worst things about Bendis' Superman run

Anonymous said: Now that it is over, what are your thoughts on Bendis' runs on Superman and Action Comics as a whole?

Anonymous said: Retrospective thoughts on Bendis' Superman as a whole now that it's, I guess, done?

Anonymous said: Hey so since Bendis’ Superman stuff seems to be done, what did you think of the run as a whole?

I decided to hold off a bit on writing on this one, if only so that I could reread the Action Comics side of it since Superman stood out in my memory a lot more. But now I have, and as we’re heading into a bold new era of Superman (and it’s coming in fast - just since I made my Superman in 2021 predictions we’ve gotten Ed Pinsent finally reprinting his legendary bootleg Silver Age Superman, Steve Orlando announcing his Superman analogue book Project Patron, an official shonen Superman redesign for RWBY/Justice League, PKJ’s Super-debut turning out far better than I ever expected, Superman & Lois’s first proper trailer largely taking people pleasantly by surprise, and my learning that there’s a Sylvester Stallone Old Man Superman analogue movie titled Samaritan coming out this summer) we’re ready to take a look back with at least a touch of perspective. I’ll lead with complaints, so everybody who’s been waiting for me to say that Bendis on Superman was Bad, Actually, savor this because it’s as close as you’ll get.

The Bad

* I hate to say it, but rereading that side of the run there’s no two ways about it: the structure of Action Comics as a whole is a mess. It baffled me from day one that it was the more acclaimed of the two books for so long - I guess people are hardwired at this point to think of ‘street’ stuff as where Bendis is supposed to be - because it was immediately clear that Superman had a well-defined story he wanted to tell, while Action was the usual Bendis off-the-cuff improvisation. It’s barely even a story in the same way, and it’s certainly not the ‘Metropolis crime book’ people took it as: it’s 28 issues of Superman and his supporting cast stuffed a pinball machine with the Red Cloud pinging off of each other as we wait to see who falls in the hole at the bottom, and partway through Leviathan and the Legion of Doom and 90s Superboy are tossed into the mix to keep it going a little longer. On an issue-to-issue basis it’s frequently really good, but the core plot of the book is *maybe* six issues stretched out over two and a half years.

* I’ve gone into this some before, but structure-wise Unity Saga also has problems: Phantom Planet rules but either it needed to be cut or the back half needed to be a year all its own in order to accommodate the scale of what it’s attempting. It’s got an interstellar civil war leading into the formation of the United Planets, family drama, Rogol Zaar’s whole deal, and Jon’s coming of age, and I’d say only that last one is really properly served. Even Jon forming the United Planets, while contextually somewhat justified in terms of 1. The situation being so far gone he’s the only one who’d even think in those terms, 2. Things being bad enough that these assorted galactic powers would be willing to try it, and 3. Him having the S on his chest to sell it, isn’t at all built up to within the run itself.

* Rogol Zaar sucks. He’s made up of nothing but interesting ideas - he’s an ersatz warrior ‘superman’ of a bygone age of empires up against the new model, he’s the sins of Krypton as a conservative superpower come home to roost, he’s while not outright said to be definitely Superman’s tragic half-brother and the culmination of everything this run does with Jor-El - but none of them manifest on the page, he’s just a big punchy dude with a dumb design who screams about how you should take him seriously because he’s totally the one who blew up Krypton. Even a killer redesign by Ryan Sook for Legion of Superheroes can’t fix that. There are lots of bad villains with good ideas who are redeemed with time and further effort, but I can’t imagine Zaar getting that TLC to become a fraction of whatever Bendis envisioned him as.

* The second year of Action Comics, after establishing itself in its first as one of the most consistently gorgeous books on the stands, leads with Szymon Kudranski’s weak output and then concludes with John Romita Jr. turning in some career-worst work. The latter is particularly egregious because for that first year Bendis writes a really collected, gentle Superman so him getting pushed into being more aggressive should have an impact, but Romita draws such a craggy rough-looking Superman in the first place that it mutes any sort of shock value.

 * WE NEVER LEARN WHAT’S UP WITH LEONE’S CAR, WHAT THE HELL. You don’t just DROP THAT IN THERE and then NEVER FOLLOW UP.

The Good

* Superman got his real clothes back after 7 truly ridiculous years.

* Bendis fundamentally gets Clark’s voice in a way unlike almost any other writer - even all-around better writers of the character almost never approach how spot-on he is with having Superman speak and act exactly how Superman should.

* Supporting cast front and center! He writes a dynamite Lois, Perry, and Jimmy (even if many of Lois’s more out-there decisions in the run don’t end up retroactively justified the way you’d hope), Ma and Pa are more fun than they’ve been in decades in their brief appearances, he manages to turn having Jor-El in the mix into a positive, and the Daily Planet as a whole has an incredibly distinctive vibe to it like never before that I hope is taken as a baseline going forward.

* The non-Rogol Zaar baddies? All ruled. Invisible Mafia and Red Cloud are both brilliant ideas executed solidly if overextended. Zod as Kryptonian Vegeta, Mongul as a generational perpetual bastard engine primed to be incapable of self-reflection, and Ultraman as “what if Irredeemable but he’d never been a good guy and also he was a Jersey mobster” are the best versions of those characters by numberless light-eons. Lex is on-point in his sparse appearances. Xanadoth as a mystical cosmic monster older than time who still talks like a Bendis character is however unintentionally a hoot. The alt-universe Parasite is a more intimidating Doomsday than Doomsday ever was. And Synmar as an alien culture’s attempt at creating their own Superman and messing up the formula when they make him a soldier can and should be a legitimate major ongoing villain coming out of this run.

* Pretty much all the art other than what I mentioned already. Fabok does a good job bookending The Man of Steel and Ivan Reis does the work of his career anchoring Superman (special props to Reis as well for drawing the first ever non-Steve Rude interesting-looking take on Metropolis), and meanwhile you’ve got Jim Lee, Jose Luis Garcia Lopez, Doc Shaner, Steve Rude, Kevin Maguire, Adam Hughes, Patrick Gleason, Yanick Paquette, Ryan Sook, Brandon Peterson, and David Lafuente doing their own parts.

* Closely related to the art, all the little flourishes with the powers. Super-speed having a consistent visual with the background coloring changing, Clark internally putting numbers to the degrees of force behind his punches and what situations which numbers are appropriate for, ‘skidding to a halt’ mid-flight before crashing through a window, the shonen-ass major throwdowns as portrayed by Reis, how his super-hearing is handled as a prevalent element. Lots of clever bits that added flavor to what he does.

* While Unity Saga has problems, the whole of what Bendis does in Superman as a means of forward momentum for Clark and his world is excellent. The sort of three-act structure of: 

** Clark is led to question his place in things over the course of a few adventures

** Involvement in the larger cosmos and the impact it has had through and on his family makes him realize the answer to his questions is that he needs to step up in a bigger way because there’s no benevolent larger universe to welcome Earth with open arms, nor a cosmic precedent for everything turning out for the best without some help

** As a consequence of the lessons learned by this change in the status quo Clark is inspired to make his own personal change in revealing his identity (with Mythological basically being an epilogue showcasing a ‘standard’ standalone Superman adventure while simultaneously highlighting his new status quo and how it fits in as a summing-up of Bendis’s take)

…does a great job of shepherding through ideas that lend a lot of forward momentum to Superman of the kind he hasn’t seen in a long time. Not perfect, but far lesser stories with far lesser ambitions have made huge impacts, so I’d certainly hope at least some of this sticks around even if, say, regardless of any retcons to the main line there are always going to be stories with Clark as a disguise and Jon as a kid. Oh, speaking of whom,

* KISS MY ASS, EVERYTHING WITH JON KENT RULED

Ahem. Probably a less confrontational way of putting that.

Do I think there was more gas in the tank for Jon as a kid? Totally, making him likeable and viable was the one really good thing the Rebirth era accomplished for Superman and I expect we’ll continue seeing more of it in the future one way or another. But whether or not him being aged up was Bendis’s decision, or working with marching orders to set up the eventually-(kinda-)discarded 5G, the coming of age narrative here is fire. He keeps the essential Clark Kent kindness and bit of Lois Lane cheekiness that reminds you he’s still their kid, which is a combination Bendis is basically precision-crafted to write, but his trials by fire give him a background entirely unlike the by-the-numbers “and here’s how Superman’s great kid grew up to be a great superhero too” narrative you’d expect while still arriving at that endpoint. If superheroes live and die by metaphors then Jon in here is what it means to grow up written as large as possible: leaving home for the first time (and seeming to shoot up overnight!), getting into the muck of how the real world works, being beaten down by authority wearing faces you’ve been taught to trust, scrambling to get through with the whole world against you, and in the end getting through by learning to rely on your own strength while keeping your soul intact and your head held high, and even managing to speak some truth to power. It gives him a well-defined life story with room to go back to and explore the intricacies of each leg of for decades to come in a way Superman hasn’t had since the original Crisis - someone someday is going to write a The Life & Times Of The Son Of Superman miniseries and it’s going to be one of the greats - and negates any question that he’s earned his stature as the heir apparent.

* Coming out of this, Superman’s world is fascinating. He’s out but rather than giving up his day-to-day life he’s openly spending part of his life as CLARK KENT: SUPER-REPORTER and part of his job on the cape-and-tights side of things is now KAL-EL: SUPER-SPACE-DIPLOMAT, Lois Lane coruns a foundation helping people whose personal continuities have been fucked over by Crisis shenanigans, Jimmy Olsen owns the Daily Planet but is still doing Jimmy Olsen stuff because that’s how he gets his kicks, and Jon Kent is going to college in the future. I’m not anywhere near naïve enough to think that’s how things are going to be forever, or shortsighted enough to think there’s no value left in the traditional setups, but god I hope these developments stick around for a long, long time to come and potentially become the new ‘normal’ as far as the ongoing shared universe stuff goes, because it all feels like the right and promising next steps to take for the lives of these characters. However it got here, for all the pluses and minuses along the way even if I maintain the former very much outweighed the latter as a reading experience, Bendis has a lot to be proud of if that’s the legacy he leaves on these titles.

* The recap pages at the desks!

[lady-griffin]

My Next Life as A Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom OP

I personally love the OP for this anime and have watched it multiple times already. Since I saw the first episode before I read the manga, I thought it was just a fun, cute, and creative opening.

Now after reading the Manga, I am very impressed with all they’ve managed to pack in, so I thought I would break it down bit by bit.

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

Part 1

The OP opens with chains of roses appearing and disappearing and Mandela-like designs on the side. This appears to be the overall aesthetic of the otome game Fortune Lover. The world Katarina lives in now is the world of Fortune Lover.

Next, we see the Start Menu screen for Fortune Lover. With “New Game” highlighted in a different color than the other two options. 

A player is picking a new game for Fortune Lover – which is adept as we could argue that this is Katarina’s completely new start of “playing the game.”

Then the Start Menu is disrupted by bright colors in static waves – indicating that there had been a “glitch” or something has changed within the game world.

It’s safe to say that Katarina gaining her past life memories is said ‘glitch’, but if there was any doubt, we get a quick image of the villainess Katarina Claes – or how she appears in the game.

The story we are about to embark on is not the same as the one in Fortune Lover, the original villainess character has now become front and center, influencing the characters of the world and changing the original timeline, so to speak.

Part 2

We are then introduced to the main cast characters in quick flashes and in the order that Katarina officially meets them. In these quick introductions, we get a slight hint of their different personalities.

I included the quick shot of Game Katarina with her villainous face, showing the contrast in how Game Katarina appears vs. how the non-game versions of all her friends appear.

Geordo Stuart – Confident 

Keith Claes – Nervous and panicked

Mary Hunt – Friendly and endearing

Alan Stuart – A tsundere

Sophia Ascart – Shy

Nicol Ascart – Reserve

Maria Campbell – Sweet and kind

Now we know that we are being shown the real characters and not the game versions, because of Keith. As Game Keith was a confident, playboy and the Keith we see is not that at all (and thank goodness).

Part 3

We see Yong Katarina walking confidently with two different and separate backgrounds rotating behind her.

In the first walk, Young Katarina is outside and wearing her work clothes and carrying a hoe, likely her favorite one as we get a separate close-up shot of it.

In the background there are lettuce heads, carrots, bushes and trees rotating behind Katarina.

This little walk shows that Katarina not only works in a field/garden, but enjoys the work as well as being outside in general. Another aspect of Katarina is her love and skill of climbing trees and the trees in the background are a hint at this.

In the second walk, Young Katarina is inside her family home wearing her day-to-day blue dress. She is carrying around the fake snakes that she has made in order to scare Geordo. The snakes are Katarina’s diversion plan in case Geordo attacks her, which he does do in the game’s bad ending of his route. 

Rotating behind her are candelabras and battle axes.

I’m not sure if the candelabras represent anything specific – I don’t recall there being significance to them. Overall, I think they just represent the wealth and aristocracy of the main characters.

The battle axes on the other hand represent when Katarina took an axe to Keith’s door and broke it down when she was child, saving him from the loneliness that was swallowing him whole. 

That is one of the major changes she does to the game’s original timeline as she completely reroutes Keith’s path to a happier one.

Part 4

Young Katarina grips one of the fake snakes she was holding and it makes a funny face that transitions into Katarina’s own scared and funny face as she is confronted with her angry mother.

On her mother’s sides we see Katarina’s father trying to calm her mother down and Anne being exasperated with Katarina’s antics.

These are the three most important adult and authority figures in Katarina’s life.

Her father is a doting and loving man. While he is aware of his daughter’s eccentricities, he is pretty okay with them, especially when compared to his wife. He has little hearts next to him, representing his overall loving nature to both his wife and daughter.

Katarina’s mother is less adoring. In the scene, she goes from a calm angry expression to berserk as she berates her daughter for her unladylike behavior and interests.

Given this quick shot of Katarina’s mother, we see how Katarina’s own ‘villainess’ face while just a mechanic in the game, in the actual world it is clearly inherited from her mother. 

Next, we have Katarina climbing up a tree. This is one of Katarina’s favorite hobbies and a skill she is very proud of and one that she inherited from her former past life.

It’s also a nice detail that the battle axe, fake snakes and Katarina’s tree climbing come before and after Katarina’s mother goes berserk. As all three of these items are directly related to a time Katarina got in trouble with her mother.

Part 5

We get a still image of some delicious looking Macaroons and then we see a Young Katarina having a great time stuffing her face with said Macaroons, as she stands behind a table with other delicious looking treats in front of her.

She eats so much that she upsets her stomach/has to immediately go to the bathroom – a common problem for Katarina in her youth.

Katarina has a big love for food, sweets in particular. It’s often a way the other characters have endear themselves to her and her gluttony is also seen as one of her unladylike qualities.

Part 6

Katarina and Maria are sitting opposite of one another in a large spinning tea cup, surrounded by other tea cups and rose petals. 

This seems to show their relationship as ‘opposites.’ 

In addition, how important Maria is to Katarina’s life and her overall fate – since Maria is the heroine of Fortune Lover and her choice of romance in the game, leads Katarina to different degrees of doom in the game. 

The two spinning in a tea cup could also represent the spinning of their roles. 

Katarina is the heroine of My Next Life as a Villainess and while not the villain by any means, Maria for Katarina does represent a potential danger, especially in Katarina’s mind.

I also think that the tea cups represent Sirius Dieke, as tea is an important aspect to his overall character and he is a threat to both Maria and Katarina.

The fact that Maria and Katarina are sitting together in a tea cup could represent how in both their stories (particularly in the game) they are the heroine and villain.

Again, for the actual story that’s not the case. Maria is far from a villain, but Katarina does view Maria and her actions as potential threats to her well-being.

However, their hero/villain dynamic as romantic rivals, is completely dwarfed by the very real danger of the much worse threat that is Sirius.

Part 7

We get a glimpse into Katarina’s head and the council of her different sides.

From Left to Right we have

Studious Katarina Timid Katarina Chairmen Katarina Brave Katarina Happy Katarina

We see them every now and again, particularly when it comes to Katarina deciding what she should do to avoid doom flags (her being killed) or how to make the best of doom flags (her being exiled).

They are all as ridiculous and oblivious as the real Katarina. 

While their contingency plans for how to deal with the endings/doom flags aren’t bad, Katarina becomes so focus on them that she misses the obvious fact that she doesn’t actually need contingency plans. 

Part 8

Next, we have what is my personal favorite part, the sequence of Katarina and her friends from children to teenagers, which shows Katarina’s relationships with each of them.  

Geordo and Katarina - Engaged 

Both Geordo and Katarina appear in their childhood and present day-to-day outfits. They also appear to be on a stage, with the curtains revealing them to the audience and the wood panels and strung up stars behind them.

They bow and curtesy to one other before they start to dance, but instead of dancing Young Katarina wildly spins Geordo around. Representing, how Katarina kept throwing Geordo off and surprising him in their younger days.

As Geordo spins around to the front of the camera, the two become teenagers and are dancing properly. Geordo leans in for a kiss and Katarina looks surprised by this, before she is pulled away.

The transition of them from children to teenagers, exemplifies Geordo’s feelings for Katarina and how they’ve developed over the years and of course her own obliviousness to them.

Katarina is not even aware of the possibility that Geordo could be in love with her (let alone that he is), mostly because Game Geordo did not care for Game Katarina and Game Katarina only really cared about her status as his fiancée. 

This dancing scene likely comes from Katarina’s 15th birthday party, where the two danced together and Geordo kisses Katarina on the neck, as he wanted to get it through to Katarina that he’s not breaking off their engagement for the very simple reason that he loves her.

Keith and Katarina - Siblings

Keith is wearing his childhood and present day-to-day outfits, while Katarina is wearing her work uniform.

Before Geordo can even kiss Katarina she is pulled away by Keith.

This is not necessarily a specific scene from the Manga, but it definitely shows the dynamic between the three. 

Geordo flirting with Katarina and Keith desperately trying to separate the two, while Katarina remains oblivious to what is actually going on. While Keith states he does this because he wants to protect his big sister, everyone except Katarina knows that’s not the case and it’s just simple jealousy.

Young Keith spins Katarina around and she jumps on him and they soon run off together with him being carried on her back.  

Young Keith is surprised by this, showing his hesitation in the beginning with being close to someone out of fear that he might hurt them, but nonetheless Katarina both in the story and OP bulldozes through that hesitation with gusto and enthusiasm.

This also just shows Katarina’s genuine excitement in having a younger brother.

As they run off screen the two transition into teenagers and Katarina is now on Keith’s back.

Keith is happier than he was as a kid, showing how much Katarina has changed his life for better. As they run, Keith appears to trip and the two of them fall down.

Possibly indicating how Katarina’s wilder and less than ladylike antics (being carried on her brother’s back and running around the house) can often bring Keith down with her.

Though Keith is the more responsible one of the two and often emulates their mother in disapproving of Katarina’s choices and actions – he does, for the most part, go along with her antics. 

Keith is definitely frazzled as they fall down, and in the story, he is very much frazzled by Katarina both in her eccentricities and his romantic feelings for her.

Alan and Katarina - Friends/Future Bother & Sister-In-Law

Alan is wearing his childhood and present day-to-day outfits, while Katarina is wearing her tree-climbing outfit and an unknown dress (I couldn’t place it from the Manga).

A Young Katarina falls from above and lands on a tree branch next to Alan. As Alan begins to yell at her, Katarina just continues jumping down and Alan looks on in surprise (and perhaps a bit in fear).

Alan and Katarina’s friendship, begins with Alan having a hostile attitude towards her as he thought she was seducing his fiancée (technically he wasn’t wrong) and also due to his competitive nature and need to prove himself, in general. 

They had multiple tree-climbing contests as children, which Katarina always won without much effort.

Katarina jumping off the branch away from Alan, seemingly not caring as he yells at her, is possibly a representation of Katarina’s confidence in her skill as a tree-climber.

As Young Katarina drops to the ground, a teenage Katarina lands in Alan’s arms and while she looks sheepishly at him, she seems overall happy that he caught her.  

Alan slightly blushes and turns his head away from Katarina, as he is the tsundere of the romantic options. 

In addition, Alan can often be flabbergasted and flustered by Katarina’s less than ladylike manners and overall frankness – best example comes from her 15th Birthday party.

Alan’s blush and him looking away from Katarina, could also reflect how Alan is not aware of his own romantic feelings for Katarina until later in the story.

Mary and Katarina - Best Friends 

Mary is wearing her childhood and present day-to-day outfits, while Katarina is wearing the dress she wore when she first met Mary and her 15th Birthday party dress.

The scene of Katarina in Alan’s arms and them both slightly blushing transitions to a Young Mary upset by this scene and she runs off to be comforted by Katarina and or to tell her that she would absolutely catch her if she fell from a tree too.

Mary can be quite jealous of others, especially when they are the focus of Katarina’s attention and or vying for her attention and Alan is no exception, despite being Mary’s own fiancée.

For example, in the manga it’s revealed Mary has been keeping Alan in the dark about his own feelings for Katarina, so she wouldn’t have any more rivals.

It’s also significant that they appear in Katarina’s field, as their love for gardening/farming is what brought them together as friends in the first place.

As Mary runs to Katarina, the two become teenagers and dance together and Katarina gives the audience a friendly wink and Mary is blushing slightly as she dances with Katarina, showing that this is more than just a platonic dance for Mary. 

Mary and Katarina’s dance, like Geordo and Katarina’s dance, is also from Katarina’s 15th birthday party. The two danced together on the balcony away from the rest of the party as Mary wanted to dance with Katarina, but couldn’t as it was against high society rules. 

This scene is just a quick show of Katarina and Mary’s friendship and Mary’s feelings for Katarina. 

Nicol and Katarina - Friends

Nicol is wearing his childhood and present day-to-day outfits, while Katarina seems to be wearing two different dresses that I can’t place from the Manga.

As teenage Katarina and Mary pull away from the camera, it is now Young Katarina and Nicol who are holding hands. 

The camera spins around the two and they become teenagers. Nicol smiles at Katarina, unlocking his full charm on her and Katarina is left dazed and dizzy.

Their relationship is not as well developed as some of the others in the story.

Katarina likes Nicol and enjoys his company as a friend and of course Nicol has fallen for Katarina due to her overall kindness, compassion, and friendship with his sister Sophia.

Because of Nicol’s more reserved nature though and the fact that Katarina is engaged to Geordo, he doesn’t act on his feelings in the same way Geordo and Keith do.

When he does though, he is very direct and Katarina is usually left dazed and a bit flustered. However, because she’s so dazed by him, Katarina doesn’t realize what Nicol has just said to her - meaning she’s still oblivious about his feelings. 

Sophia and Katarina - Best Friends 

Sophia is wearing his childhood and present day-to-day outfits, while Katarina is wearing her pajamas.   

A dazed Katarina becomes a young and dizzy Katarina who falls on a couch next to Sophia in what is likely the Ascart Library. 

Sophia moves closer to Katarina so they can read a book together. As the book pushes forward, we see an extremely quick glace of the cover – showing the Devilishly Charming Earl character from one of their favorite romance books.

As the book is pulled to the bottom, Katarina and Sophia have transitioned into teenagers and are still eagerly reading the book together. Showing the basis of their friendship - their mutual love of love stories and reading in general - is still going strong. 

This is the most friendship-based sequence.

Even though Sophia also wants to be able to be with Katarina forever (like the others), her feelings seem to be less romantically inclined than the others.

Sophia treasures their friendship a great deal, but she often leaves Nicol and Katarina alone together, as she tries to give her brother a proper shot at confessing his feelings to Katarina.

Part 9

Next, we see Maria presenting a strawberry cake to Katarina and Katarina eagerly turning to Maria in excitement. Maria looks a bit confused and embarassed(?) most likely because Katarina is lavishing her with praise and attention. 

Maria does not have a past to present transition scene with Katarina as they meet when they are teenagers.

This scene’s setting is most likely Maria’s home kitchen, as Katarina is wearing her merchant’s daughter disguise – which she wears in the Manga when she ends up visiting Maria at her home during their summer vacation.

The strawberries on the cake are cut into hearts, this is possibly just a cute design or possibly an indication that Maria also falls for Katarina. 

On top of the cake is a flag, flags are important to Katarina’s story as she is actively trying to destroy the Destruction Flags that lead to her doom.

The flag being just a small decorative piece could be nothing, but it might signify that while Maria is technically tied to Katarina’s doomed endings, that’s not really a factor anymore.

Do to the fact that Katarina’s actions for the past seven years, before Maria even enters the story, have been successfully destroying her doomed flags – by having good and loving relationships with the other characters (mainly Geordo and Keith - whose routes were once guarantede destruction for Katarina).

Now Katarina is not aware of that and still sees doom befalling her especially (in her mind) when it comes to whom Maria will choose to confess her feelings to. But nonetheless that doesn’t stop Katarina from befriending Maria and the two becoming genuine friends.

This scene once more shows that Katarina is always happy to receive sweets. Furthermore, Maria and Katarina’s friendship grows out of Maria baking her homemade sweets for Katarina (among other things).

Part 10

We are next introduced to A-Chan, Katarina’s best friend from her previous life. 

A-Chan is reading from a strategy book for Fortune Lover. A-Chan would often spoil the game for Katarina which she didn’t appreciate at the time, but now she is very thankful for the extra information she has about the world she now inhabits.

Next, we see a large image of a pixelated game flag.

We can easily presume this is a Destruction Flag, which are essentially bad checkpoints (for Katarina) that lead to a specific path in the game for the player.

Basically, they are choices (or scenes/characters) throughout the game that decide whether or not the player receives the good or bad ending. And since the majority of the endings of the actual game are bad to awful for Katarina, all the check points or flags are destructive to her and her life. 

The one big flag transitions into multiple smaller, pixelated flags. Which could represent all the different flags Katarina is trying to avoid or destroy.

It’s a nice detail that the flags are pixelated as they are a simple mechanic from the game itself. That detail could also indicate that while the flags have great importance in the game, in Katarina’s actual life, the majority of them aren’t a factor in deciding her future due to her own choices and the choices of the other characters.

But Katarina has yet to learn that.

Part 11

We are introduced to the final character, Sirius Dieke, the President of the Student Council. He appears to be in the Student Council chambers, in front of his own desk, with piles of paper on it.

Sirius is the 5th and secret love-interest in the game Fortune Lover and he has the darkest story of the romantic game-targets and just in general.

It’s very telling that he also appears in multiple small squares like the Destruction Flags did in the scene right before he appears.

As he really is the only true Destruction Flag and path for Katarina.

Part 12

Next, we see two school-girls standing together on a beach watching either a sunset or a sunrise. 

This is Katarina from her previous life and her best friend A-chan. While the sunset/sunrise could just be there to be a pretty image, one could take away a deeper meaning, particularly with the idea that it’s both a sunset and a sunrise.  

As their lives have ended in their previous lives (sunset) they get to live new lives in their reincarnated forms of Katarina Claes and Sophia Ascart (sunrise). 

This idea is potentially reflected in the waves crashing onto the shore, then returning back to the ocean, only to crash again on the shore (similar to the idea of reincarnation).

We get a close up of their hands as A-Chan grips Katarina’s hand and she returns to the gesture. Their friendship is an extremely important element of the story. As A-Chan comes to Katarina’s aid in her time of need, showing that their friendship transcends time and worlds.

And this is a very compelling idea, because while romance is certainly a major element in the story, friendship is even bigger. 

Katarina has changed every one of her friends’ lives not because they fell in love with her (like the game’s setup) but because Katarina was kind and befriended them with sincerity and true kindness (causing everyone to fall for her).

Part 13

Finally, we are at the end. 

The OP ends with the main cast bowing to the audience on a stage, possibly the same stage Katarina and Geordo danced on, but with the curtains now closed.

Sophia and Mary do more traditional lady courtesies and Mary does a bow like a commoner.

While the guys and Katarina do a slightly exaggerated bow.

This possibly shows Katarina’w significant ties to the guys as she has inadvertently become the main love interest. This could also indicate that Katarina has also technically become one of them – in the fact that Maria, the original main character, who was supposed to fall in love with one of the guys, actually falls for and adores Katarina.

In a similar sense, the two other rival female characters of Mary and Sophia don’t fall for Alan and Nicol, but instead fall for Katarina.

Or it could also just be a sign that Katarina is more of a tomboy than the other girls.

Either way the main cast bows to the audience, signally the end of their show/performance that they just put on for us.

Quick Summary

My Next Life as a Villainess Opening is packed with so much detail, symbolism and deeper meanings and that it is just astounding in itself. 

Not only does it do all of that, but the OP still remains a fun, creative and enjoyable introduction to each episode with a catchy song. 

A slight nitpick from me, is that I wish some of the scene transitions were smoother. For many of them it looks quite smooth and flows very nicely, for other it just cuts to a new scene very quickly. Again, this just a nitpick.

Overall, this opening is just amazing in my humble opinion and seems to have almost everything one could ask for in an Anime Opening.

I apologize for any spelling and grammar mistakes that might remain here. 

[thessaliah]

The reunion with someone you love,  thanking someone who was unrewarded,  saving of the pitiful who cry for help: universal themes in events and their connection to Roman and Olga

Benienma's charming New Year event ended and there were lots of good moments. Specially for Fionn fans who finally got their favorite to take the spotlight. Fionn is in Ireland, the equivalent of King Arthur, just like Cu Chulainn is the equivalent of Herakles, so the way FGO has handled him was horrible so far but he came around in this event and got impressive feats on his own. But I won't talk about Fionn, others have done before this. When this event dropped years ago, I and a lot of japanese players felt certain uncanny emotional parallel with Beni's old man and Mash's situation with Roman. A man who never knew happiness for themselves and always thought about the happiness of others, cloaking themselves in big lies, misunderstood alive but grieved in death. Who still died smiling because others were saved and happy, yet still they want to thank them and set things right, even if it's an impossible wish.

Mash is the one who speaks up, while she doesn’t overtly voice her parallel, we know it exists.

If I am to only fulfill my role between larger gears, There isn’t much to worry over, If “only” is good enough.

I’d like to try living, in the time I was granted. I don’t fight to suffer, Just like you said. Please, let the gentle rain fall upon me, upon our will. When I depart, I’d like for you to quietly see me off.

When I was done crying, I could no longer hear your voice. That’s how you urge me on, I see, telling me that there’s no road back.

I was born into this world to live. There is no other definite reason. I don’t need a mission or a meaning. I will live! I don’t want to Let my memories with you end in sorrow. Just like you said, The conclusion can be repainted, always.

Cut for length.

This is the song for her mental and emotional state after what she lost at the end of part 1 (Roman). It’s called Blank Space, it shows that, like Benienma, she’s continued her duty for the chance to see Roman again. This post isn’t about Roman, but also about Olga, since the prologue of Part 2 there are two heavy losses that weight Mash’s heart (also the player but Mash’s more vocal about it): first is her guilt of being unable to save Olgamarie (which was discussed and was the reason they went to save Goredolf) and the other is her sorrow with the separation with Roman whom she didn’t even properly thank for everything he did for her (was hinted how she is comforted by his room in Missions before being tore apart from it in the prologue where she had a breakdown and refused to leave). Events in FGO sometimes don’t exist in isolation, they connect to major plot arcs: Ooku continues CCC and is about the major plot of the Beasts, for example, Oniland and Christmas 2020 with Karna supply dragon lore which surely will be important in Britain Lostbelt or when Arthur confronts the Beast of Revelations. Plenty of events to build the Greek Pantheon and characters. As such, there are these small emotional catharses of events that are sometimes connected to the main characters (Mash and Guda) own desires and wishes. The desire of Guda meeting the one(s) he loved and lost again is ever-present, even in interludes:

(Abigail interlude)

The person singled out for this is always Roman. Aphrodite's song illusion in Guda's heart led toward Roman and is a mere possibility he was around (even without a blank without body, even without understanding what he's saying) what broke in Guda's defenses. It was always when they gave in about the doctor when the loop was allowed to continue. It was also the source of strength to break out of this. Because Guda can't face Roman unless they are proud of their answer and path, in death or life, they can't thematically meet again (exceptional events aside) until Guda is satisfied with their actions. Events sometimes feature this Roman-loss theme, or rather about being reunited with someone you separate from and lost what is the conclusion of one's journey: Sitonai reunites with that Berserker in Oniland, Beni with the old man, and there's that movie singularity that was all about a man who was misunderstood and made a villain by people who after his death realised their mistake and understood he loved his foster daughter's future and would protect it with his life. Mash was personally touched by that  script (so was Roman, who was included by Nasu changing the original novel that was going to be published, to help the cast reshoot the movie for Mash's sake) and wanted to ensure to preserve it, the end of the movie is the daughter living well while the father is watching over, apparently alive, but with a different appearance who one day might meet his daughter again.

The other point of emotional struggle is to help or save those who pitifully want to be saved. While the reunion is nearly always involving a man (sometimes a father figure or someone who was a guardian), the saving part is almost always about a girl, usually, a girl who is doing evil actions and needs to be put down for the sake of others but Guda and Mash (if she’s around) refuse. Imaginary Scramble features two of them: "Gogh" (Clytie) and  Yang Guifei.  The Olga factor goes tacit in all but the male exception, Goredolf was a man, but the Olga connection was brought up explicitly in his case. This plot-line might have started with Ereshkigal Christmas event and Salem (on that note, Abigail's search and longing for her dead friend also connect and echos with Guda's losses). This started after part 1, because during Observer, those who were twisted or darkened or made villains were disposed of instead of saved (Ushiwakamaru in Babylonia for example, or all the Servants affected by madness in Orleans). Because it was not important during part 1, but it is for part 2.

(in a nonsubtle way).

IMO, the Greek Lostbelt was also a climax to voice what Mash’s (and Guda’s) wants. Mash finally breaks out and says she wants to meet Roman again and thank him for everything after the Person of Chaldea appears. They aren't speculating about his identity or his warnings, rather they are emotional about how he can't be the Doctor because his eyes are different and wish to meet him again in an emotional My Room scene. Olympus was for Olga, after U Olgamarie appears and they are left confused by her actions, that is Olga but she's their enemy, a Beast, but still they want to help her. Because that's always been one of their biggest regrets. Greek Lostbelt kicks the course of their personal emotional catharsis arc: Olga is there, but she's an enemy; an ally who resembles Roman appears but he's not their doctor. Man of Chaldea and U-Olga have the same function: to be different kinds of emotional hurdles Mash and Guda face, aside from their role in the plot (obviously they are more important than just angsty plot devices). So it begins their personal goal: meet Roman again, save Olga. Atlantis and Olympus also have a little of both. Olympus with that dream which had an emphasis Guda's feelings toward Roman, among all their losses, while Atlantis with the subplot of Corday and the nanomachines (which the priestess witnessed).

To wrap up, this is merely tangential, but this scene was translated at last, so I might give context to those who don't know it:

This weaver is "Miss Crane", who appears in Waltz in the Moonlight Lostroom, a special game released on anniversary with the plot by Nasu. Just to show how tied is Roman's story and Benienma's event narrative. The doctor created the Moonlight Room, that became a harmless singularity that exists linking past and future, similar to the Inn. Crane manages it by his request and one of Crane's goal is to reward him, even with the little she could do for him. Roman gets the broadcast of the Ball Crane arranged for him in the game’s ending. This foreshadowing that leads back to Roman was included in the same chapter Beni tells us her backstory and her wish to thank and meet that man again. And she did, in the very end, as a personal reward for her efforts, and his.

(Fate/Grand Order is a story of many meetings and departures, and meetings again).

Note that because I interpret that Mash’s and Guda’s emotional catharsis arc require: needing to help Olga (to exercise their regrets), and meeting Roman in the end (as reward), it doesn’t mean that Olga or Roman will be alive or playable in the end. Olga could sacrifice herself as Corday or Ophelia did after being saved (her choice is going to be important, because it seems build up for her to finally make a stand she wants), Roman can be met in a death-state or in the Lostroom/Moonlight room as connection of past and future. It’s just that those things needed to happen for the emotional closure and they have had a built up before the Greek Lostbelt.

[trainsinanime]

Here’s a Miraculous Ladybug story idea that I may write some time, but probably not, because I only really care about chapter two of what would probably need to be at least ten.

Chapter one features Lila going after Marinette full-force. Not the weak boring „she rips up her notebook so hard that Marinette has to move to Gotham“ crap. We’re doing this properly: Lila convinces the Mayor that Marinette is planning to resurrect Napoleon and bring him back to power. So the Mayor has Marinette imprisoned without trial, because apparently he can do that in the Miraculous universe, and not even her friends or family know what’s going on.

Chapter 3 and later will detail how Marinette managed to escape the prison after fourteen years, with the help of a professional hypnotist. She discovers a pirate treasure on a small uninhabited island off the coast of Italy. With the money from the treasure, she buys the island and the title of nobility that comes with it, and returns to Paris. Rich, and now officially a countess, she will reward those who were loyal to her, and destroy all her enemies. (I haven’t yet worked out what that means in detail.)

But the really interesting part for me is what happens in those fourteen years. Here are my notes. Content warning: Dark, Major Character Death, Intended as over-the-top and silly but maybe not over-the-top enough, and of course, Adrien/Lila:

With Marinette gone, a lot of joy drops from the class immediately. Everybody loves her, and they only have weird rumours about what happened to her, rumours that they can’t believe even if the source is Lila. (No, we’re not doing class salt. Yes, that means my options for enemies in the later chapters are limited. I don’t care, I love Alya and the rest of the class and I am not throwing them under the bus.)

The first time Ladybug doesn’t appear to a fight, everybody is pissed. The second time, they’re even more pissed. The third time, they’re worried.

Chat Noir does his best. He decides to capture the Akumas, so Ladybug can cleanse them when she returns. For now, he stores them in mason jars. After a bit of thought, he decided to just store them in the cellar of the mansion, in a box labelled „Adrien’s favourite toys“. Nobody ever looks there.

No Ladybug means no cleanup. (The ear rings are kept in the warden’s office in Marinette’s prison, so Ladybug is out of commission for fourteen years). Adrien again tries to help, spending way too much time cataclysming debris. A child has lost their favourite plush shark in a river of chocolate? Chat Noir manages to „find“ and „clean“ it. No, it’s totally the same shark, not a new one that he just bought, believe me. The child is happy, but clearly it’s not enough.

The first time the Eiffel Tower is destroyed, rebuilding it is a matter of national pride. If Ladybug is gone, then France will step in. Gabriel donates a lot to the effort.

The second time the Eiffel Tower is destroyed, authorities decide to leave the debris as a monument. The statue for Ladybug disappears.

With no Ladybug, Hawkmoth realises that he can’t get the ear rings. Attacks decrease, to once a month, then once every three months; apparently just to check whether Ladybug has returned. Around Adrien’s eighteenth birthday, it seems like Hawkmoth might retire for good. On a completely unrelated note, Gabriel appears to have lost all will to live.

Adrien can’t escape Lila, who continues to be employed by Gabriel, despite her not being very good at photoshoots. But he does his best to keep his distance.

Shortly after Adrien’s birthday, he is away, while Lila has a meeting with Gabriel and Nathalie. But tragedy strikes: Lila arrives and witnesses Gabriel shooting Nathalie and then himself. Why would he do such a thing? Good thing Lila is such a reliable witness. The case is so clear that the police don’t even have to check the gun for fingerprints.

Adrien is stricken with grief. He tries to call his friends, but nobody will reply. It’s almost as if someone with access to Gabriel’s computer had used the spy software on Adrien’s phone to disable it. But that’s clearly absurd. There is only one other person who is there to comfort him: Lila. Adrien doesn’t like her, but she is someone familiar. She spends the night.

The next morning, Adrien is disgusted, and the two part ways. But two months later, she reappears and tells him she is pregnant and it’s his child. She has a whole speech prepared about how he needs to take responsibility, but it’s not necessary: Adrien will not let his child grow up without a father.

The next month, the wedding is a weird affair. Lila wanted something grandiose, and she got it. But all their friends know that this is anything but true love.

Alix wonders aloud what Marinette’s role would have been if she had been here. Alya jokingly says that she’d be the bride. Adrien overhears, and he realises: Yeah, she would have been. He loves her. Always had. This moment is when the only wedding picture is taken where Adrien smiles.

Seven months later, Gabriel Agreste Junior is born. Adrien loves his son with all his heart, but he has questions. But Lila and her top-notch expensive doctors assure him that this is perfectly normal, sometimes pregnancies take a month longer or two. Adrien is not fully convinced, but he doesn’t want to cause a fuss.

Around this time we also get a new Hawkmoth, who is much meaner, but doesn’t seem to have as clear a goal. Everybody’s best guess is that this Hawkmoth is just going after whoever last pissed them off. (Totally forgot this one in the original version of the post, sorry)

Two years later, Lila’s daughter Emma Marinette Agreste Junior is born. Adrien picked the second name while Lila was asleep. Since Lila is not involved with her kid’s upbringing at all, she has not yet noticed. This time, Adrien is convinced that something is up and Lila is lying to him. The reason: He has recently learned how babies are made, and he knows for a fact that he never did that with Lila.

He confronts her. Lila isn’t concerned, though. What’s he going to do? Divorce her? Then he’s never going to see the kids again. The things she could make a court believe… Adrien is horrified by that thought, especially since he knows very well that he’s the only one in the marriage who loves these children.

Meanwhile, Lila’s own career as an actress isn’t going well. She’s a great natural talent, sure; she can make anyone believe anything. But to be a great actor, you still have to turn up on set every day, and not just when you feel like it. Oh, sure, she has great excuses, but the jobs still dry up fast. And while you can make up a story that makes you look good about one make-up artist you made cry, maybe two, there is a point where it becomes a problem.

She blames Adrien for this, mostly because he will generally not back up her lies about where she was. He doesn’t really care, though. Despite her threats, what’s she gonna do, leave with the kids? Thanks to his father, Adrien had some top notch lawyers, and the pre-nup agreement is watertight.

Unrelated to all this, behold Paris’s new mayor, Chloé Burgeois. She’s been embroiled in controversy from day one. Some say she’s too young. Others say she only got the job because her father was mayor before her. Yet others point to her publicly difficult relation with her constant partner and off-again-on-again girlfriend Sabrina. But perhaps the biggest talking point is that in her office, she has a big painting of a certain heroine in red with spots, with the words, „what would Ladybug do?“ underneath. She’s never lost trust, and the press hates her for it.

One day, her old school friend Alya visits. Alya’s own relationship to Ladybug is difficult: Part of her still holds out hope, just like Chat Noir. Another part of her curses Ladybug for just leaving. Her goal now is completely unrelated to Ladybug, though. She has uncovered new things about the Napoleon Resurrection Conspiracy: The main witness (Lila) and the supposed ring-leader: Marinette. That can’t be right.

She wants Chloé to reveal the truth. Chloé herself has no idea, and very little interest in investigating. Her father told her that this was all secret, and that she should never touch this subject.

But she knows very well what Alya is asking for here. Alya got her big break as a journalist by uncovering the files on the Napoleon Resurrection Conspiracy in the first place. The revelation that it had all been swept under the rug was what caused the old Mayor to step down in the first place. If Alya is now saying that this might all be wrong, that means she’s placing her whole career on the line. That level of commitment means something.

For her own part, it took Chloé a while to admit it, but she was shocked and heartbroken by Marinette’s sudden disappearance as well. It was the first step to becoming a somewhat nicer person, and forming real bonds with her classmates. She has the access to the archives. She could uncover the truth, and maybe even find out where Marinette is now. It wouldn’t be popular, and it might be dangerous… but what would Ladybug do?

Chloé is all in, and it doesn’t take long until she meets Lila. Chloé would not consider herself a fan. She knows the difference between Adrien’s real and fake smiles. Lila refuses to clear things up, though. Instead, she tells Chloé that the french secret service does not allow her to say anything, and that Chloé better drop it if she knows what’s good for her.

Chloé ignores it. She also ignores it when she gets a threatening letter. After all, Ladybug was up against powerful people, too, and she never let that stop her. She even ignores when her own personal Yacht sinks for unexplained reasons, until her Butler and Sabrina explain to her some things about the history of the french secret service (actually I’m not sure whether this is too much in bad taste; the alternative would be that her vacation home gets set on fire).

She tells Alya that there is nothing to know, and blocks her cell phone number. The next day, workers remove the Ladybug painting. After all, what Ladybug would do is just disappear, right? Only fitting. Sabrina laughs a little too artificially at the joke. Yes, indeed. Ladybug would just stop doing her job when the people needed her. Perfect analogy.

With that, the basic outline is set. Chapter three would probably be short and tell the story of Marinette’s imprisonment. Chapter four is then where the real revenge starts.

Other points:

At various points, Luka is sadly strumming his guitar.

I’m not sure what to do about Marinette’s parents. The mean option is that they die, full of grief over their missing daughter. The very mean option is that they end up separating first. I’m not sure Marinette’s revenge spree works if they’re still around, and I definitely don’t ever see them turning away from her.

Nino and Kagami could do with an arc here.

Anyway, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, but since I don’t know how to turn this into a full story, this is as good as it gets. If any of you guys want to borrow parts or all of it for your stories, please go ahead.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Walker 1.05

This was a fun episode!

Let’s jump right into it, this week there’s not so much a case, it’s more Cordell dealing with the consequences of his child being an idiot. By which I mean that’s the point of the whole episode. 

If you didn’t watch last week’s epi, do so it was good, but August, sweet child that he is is as dumb as bricks and in a moment of stupidity he contacted a woman that knew his dad when he was undercover from his undercover phone so she thinks he’s out of prison, and guess where the woman was at? If you said Austin, Texas you’d be right so in this episode Cordell has to go back undercover to try and get this woman the hell of Texas before she finds out the truth, problem is she’s tapped out and thinks he has the money from their last job. The whole episode revolves around him having to go back undercover, without telling anybody, and then, along with Mickie because his job finds out about what he’s doing curtesy of the FBI that has the girls phone wired, trying to bring this girlie and this other dude that used to work with them down. 

I really liked seeing Walker go undercover, I even liked his undercover persona Duke, he is a bad boy but with a conscious; so that was fun, I hope it’s something we see again cause going undercover does not automatically mean taking month long assignments. 

It was also a blast to see Micki join him, that girl is quick on her feet and always with a plan much to Walker’s fortune cause if it wasn’t for her he might not have made it home to his kids cause girlie and the dude they used to work with are insistent that he took the 300k from their last job. 

But thanks to Micki thinking fast on her feet they decide to do a new job to get the money that’s needed and conveniently it just so happens that the dude that used to be the leader of the group left a gig prepped and ready to go. But before they can go ahead and do the job Cordell or in this case Duke remembers where the money is, get’s backstabbed by girlie and fakes his death during a standoff with the police. So, as far as the girl is concerned Duke is dead.

And that’s the focus of the episode! There was also a mini thing going on on the side with his kids but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Through out the episode we also get some flashbacks, but they’re not wife related hallelujah  they are about Cordell’s time undercover. And I am happy to say that the flashbacks were properly done, for the first time they contributed to the story and didn’t mess up the flow; through them we get to learn a bit more about Walker’s undercover persona including the fact that Duke......lost his brother. I was eating when that man said that and it took everything in me to not choke. 

Let’s talk about the best part: shirtless Walker. We get not one, but two scenes including some close ups of that man without a shirt! That by itself is reason alone to see this episode; the show needs more of that please and thank you 🔥

Okay, let’s talk about his kids cause along all the fun and action there were his kids bringing down the party. First up Stella, she’s not that bad in this epi she’s just upset cause her dad couldn’t attend her soccer game/practice but it’s hard to feel bad for her when being upset and not understanding of her dad is becoming her only character trait. She does have a nice conversation with Trey who btw is her new soccer coach he is now working at the kids school which is great, I think he’s gonna be a good influence on them.

The big problem was: August. I wanna slap that kid so badly, I know Walker was hurt by his words, I know he doesn’t want his kids to hate him and whatnot but I really wish that he had given him a talking too and scolded him because August in his infinite idiocy tracked down his dad while he was undercover to confront him thinking Cordell is going to leave again as if he had just mysteriously disappeared the first time and not gone undercover as part of his job which seriously these children’s lack of understanding and knowledge of basic aspects of their father’s job is shocking considering they grew up in a law enforcement home. But anyways he tracked him down and is yelling at him, almost breaking his cover in front of the two people he used to work with, at best he could have cause his dad his job or at the very least put it on the line cause if his cover breaks the case is a bust and they can’t take those two people down, but at worst he could have cost his dad, Micki, the friend who drove him their life those people have killed before and they are trigger happy they find out Duke is actually Cordell they gonna shot first ask questions later.

He is so unbelievably stupid, I really wish that Cordell has sat down and told him why he can’t do that shit ever again, and by that I don’t mean softly telling him I had to yell at you to get you away buddy, no I mean tell him to his face that he could have cost people their life. All it would have taken is one quick call to the uncle who took him in and raised him for almost a year like he was his own and asking if his dad had to leave again for him to find out that no, he was just doing his fucking job. But this kid! Fruit flies are smarter than him. 

And those were honestly, the worst part of the episode, his scenes. 

I get that these kids have issues, but the writers have got to dial it down cause it’s becoming their main character trait and annoying; these are not 8 year olds they are teenagers whose dad has always worked in law enforcement, whose uncle is DA, they have tv, movies, books, the internet, they should at the very least have a basic understanding of what something like going undercover means enough that they don’t almost expose their dad. 

There’s still some things they need to fix, but idiocy of August aside this was a pretty solid episode- it would have been even better if the story of him having to go back undercover had extended past this episode and this had either been an official two parter or the story had lasted until the next epi cause then they could have really played with it, I would have really liked to see more of that but also I kinda doubt the realism of all that happened taking place in just one single day. 

Nonetheless, I really enjoyed this episode and while I’ve liked every episode of this series so far and I’d happily re-watch, and I most likely will in the future, this might be the first one that I’d look up and re-watch for the fun of it not as part of a season re-watch or because I wanna remember something. And no, I’m not just saying that because Cordell is shirtless! Although that is some mighty good incentive, this is just, imo, the most fun episode they’ve done so far. 

[billpottsismygf]

Okay, so that was an episode. I'm still feeling shook from the "special announcement", but I liked that. I wouldn't say I loved it necessarily, but it feels like one that will grow on me.

I will say I was quite disappointed that the Doctor got out of prison so quickly and so easily. All the promotion implied she'd be in there for the majority of the episode, and I found it a bit underwhelming that Jack just broke her out without even breaking a sweat. I was thinking we'd see a lot of the Doctor introspecting and monologuing, perhaps a little like Heaven Sent, and instead that just got completely undercut.

Since I've mentioned Jack, god I love him. It was wonderful to see him back. In some ways I feel like he was underutilised, but I can't really articulate why. Him being in prison for 19 years to rescue the Doctor doesn't get dealt with at all, nor really the Doctor's decades in prison. On that note, I loved that Yaz was angry with the Doctor for leaving them, but it stung that she didn't even ask how long it had been for the Doctor.

Speaking of Yaz, her consistent characterisation throughout her time on the show has been that she completely idolises the Doctor. She's the best thing that ever happened to her, the best person ever, and I was only thinking last night how much I really want to see the pitfalls of that explored. We definitely got that a little bit in this episode. The companions all being unnerved by Jack's casual mention of his deaths and Rose's exile in the parallel universe was good, as was the justified anger and hurt. I also really liked Jack's conversation with Yaz about how it hurts after the Doctor has left, but I'm not sure it was explored enough.

Obviously I don't know where the show is going after this, but I really want to see Yaz's unhealthy idolisation dealt with. She doesn't necessarily have to become completely disillusioned, but idk I want to see it properly explored, which seems like it will be harder with a new companion aboard.

Speaking of John Bishop, he's a very interesting choice. I'm really intrigued to see where they go with his character. He started off as a stand up comedian, and I've greatly enjoyed his comedy, but when he branched out into serious acting, the little I've seen him in really impressed me. I'll be interested to see whether they go more comedic or serious with him - not that any character has to be only one of those things, but I don't get the impression he'll be a Nardole-like comic relief character.

Graham and Ryan's exit was fairly well done, especially Ryan's. It was a natural continuation of the doubts that were first voiced in Can You Hear Me, made worse by 10 months of living normally again. I loved him confronting the Doctor because she was once again trying to keep things from him. That's definitely been something missing in the current era, companions calling the Doctor out on their bullshit. I was hoping for some kind of Martha in Gridlock moment ("I'm not moving until you tell me the truth") and this was a nice way of doing that. I do like how much Ryan has clearly matured over his time in the show.

Graham's decision to leave with his grandson also makes perfect sense for his character, given that family and time with the people he loves are his character's primary driving force. I found the gifting of the psychic paper a little strange, though. She didn't hear them saying it would be handy earlier in the episode and no other companion has had it as a parting gift. It seems like Graham and Ryan are going to carry on fighting aliens freelance (Martha and Mickey style), travelling around the world to do it, but that doesn't make sense to me, given Ryan's desire for a normal life at home.

Oh also, Grace appearing at the end was really weird? It was obviously meant to be an emotional moment, but it was just bizarre that some sort of apparition appeared to both of them out of nowhere... What was meant to be happening? I don't think that worked at all. It's such a shame, as a reference to Grace could have been lovely, maybe Graham looking down at a frog necklace or something idk, but instead such a potentially moving moment fell completely flat.

God, I've written so much and I haven't even spoken about the Daleks once. They were cool, I guess. It was nice to our old pals the bronze Daleks again, I've missed them. The Doctor's plan to bring them to earth to kill off the impure ones was extremely reckless and honestly I can't quite believe her plan worked with as few consequences as it did.

There was a high body count in this episode. I liked Leo a lot and was genuinely sad when he got killed off. I definitely wasn't expecting the prime minister to get killed off so soon into her plan; I thought she was going to have a far more active role in the story. I also feel like the defence drones (just the AI, creature-less ones) didn't get explored properly for the horrifying concept that they are. They were used in that protest near the beginning, but the true horror of these tanks being deployed not only against protesters (already horrifying) but just out and about on the street etc. was completely overshadowed by the fact that the Daleks took control of them.

Honestly, I would have been more interested in the story if the creatures had never been cloned. The Doctor realises they are just AI designed by humans, but they're still awful and need to be stopped. Perhaps that would have worked better in a more sci-fi setting, because it wouldn't necessarily work for the Doctor to just bring down the UK government on modern day earth (then again, The Christmas Invasion...), but I still think that would have been a more compelling story and would have properly utilised this quite horrifying concept that does feel very real, prescient and possible in the current world.

I think those are my main thoughts for now, but I may think of other things at some point. A lot of this sounds quite negative, but I should say that I did have a great time during the episode, and I feel like I will enjoy it upon future watches. We shall see, though!

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

alpha - drew m / roman r. [m]

Note:

Okay, so I’ve seen a few of these floating around now and then and I know that as a reader, I personally enjoyed the experience. And that little showdown between Roman and Drew really... Got to me and lives in my head rent free. My original idea for this was so much different than what this is going to shape up to be, but honestly, I feel like it works better this way. As much as I dislike even thinking Randy Orton’s name. Adding that particular variable into the mix made this a lot smoother than my original idea.

I’m actually really excited about this. It’s a choose your own smutty ending. I think the first person I saw trying this was @glowrioustrash​ and it was last year, for Halloween, I think? I enjoyed reading that, so I kinda wanted to try my own hand at it then. I just never got around to it. I even asked them if it was okay if I did it, back then, I think? Anyway... Last night’s Smackdown just gave me ample inspo to FINALLY get off my ass and try it, and make it a part of my year-long smut one shot series. Bet ya’ll thought I completely forgot about those, huh? Well I didn’t. So... here we are.

This part is the beginning to both of the smutty parts I’m going to write for this, so it’ll be linked on either post and either post will be linked here, once I have them all done and posted on the blog.

LIFE EDIT: Eventually, loves... I’ll get around to posting the smutty conclusions to both men. When I do, those will be linked to this post.

Enjoy this teaser, hopefully?

HUGE SHOUTOUTS TO : @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure and @schizoauthoress​ (your suggestions and that helpful input at the end, ahhh.. i owe you my life)  as well as @wardl0w because I have probably bugged the living hell out of all three of them as I attempted this and they were seriously huge helps to me with this.

Characters / Pairings:

Drew McIntyre / Female!omega reader - version 1, coming soon

Roman Reigns / Female!omega reader - version 2, coming soon

Warnings:

This is an attempt at me, writing alpha/omega again. So there will be knotting, mate bite marks, etc. In addition to that, there will be smut in the second part of these, whichever man you guys choose. There’s also hints of unwanted confrontation between Orton and Reader to start this off with and it gets... handsy, ewwww. But I had to have a way to work in both guys and make it work, so.. here we are. There’s also gonna be swearing. If I need to issue any other warnings those will be on the follow up posts.

Tagging:

@kyleoreillysknee​ @rampagewriting​ @writertoo18​ @thatnerdwriter​ @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure​ @chasingeverybreakingwave​ @waywardwrestlewritingwaif​ @sassymox​ @champbucks​ @hungmanhorsecarriage​ @wardl0w​ @ryantaylorgirl​ @dilfmoxley​ @hotyeehawman​ @darbysallin​ @gabbynorth98​ @bec0m​

@linziland13​ @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ 

Other Stuff:

[ about my writing - masterlist - tag list doc ]

[ Roman ] or [ Drew ]

The scent was absolutely intoxicating. So understandably, when it filled my nose for the fourth time that night, I found myself standing. Making my way out into the hallway. Shoving people out of my way. Now, I wasn’t running or anything, because my grandma always told me it’s better to be chased than do the chasing but… I was power-walking.

And, as per usual, not paying a lick of attention to where I was going or my surroundings. I was solely focused on this mysterious scent because deep down inside, I knew exactly where it was going to lead me and damn it, I might put up one hell of a show about being independent, but heat cycles are hell and yeah, maybe I get lonely as of late. Maybe I’ve been longing to find my Alpha. Maybe I want the comfort of knowing that I’m not doomed to be forever alone and I do have a mate out there, somewhere...

It hit me then, around the same time that my thighs absolutely flooded with slick and I started to feel all woozy. I hadn’t taken suppressants. In fact, I had somehow managed to completely forget about my heat cycle’s speedy approach.

I mean, between moving and getting called up to the main roster, life has been a whirlwind for me lately. And tonight I hadn’t taken them before I came to the arena because I was excited. Tonight was my first night on the main roster. And in the excitement of that, I’d forgotten my suppressants… again.

To be fair, I haven’t ever really adhered to taking them steadily to begin with, so there you go...I never really had anyone constantly riding me to do so growing up. I was mostly left to my own devices, free to do what I wanted and make my own choices. So, yeah, this isn’t my first rodeo with a surprise heat cycle.

I shoved all the thoughts out of my noisy mind, pausing my walk to attempt focusing. Centering myself so that I could really fix on the scent and the direction it came from. And in my distraction, that gave Orton the perfect opportunity to slither up and corner me before I even had a chance to properly respond.

“Doll.”

“I have a name, you prick.” I rolled my eyes as I shrank away, nose wrinkling at the oversaturation of his scent as it invaded my nose and momentarily drowned out that heavenly aroma I’d been attempting to follow before I got distracted like a dumb bitch.

He chuckled, putting himself closer to me. Leaning down a little. And the audacity of this fucking man, he even had the nerve to reach up and move my hair away from my neck, his nose burying there as a lewd growl rose up from the depths of his chest.

I shoved at him and cleared my throat. “I was kind of in a hurry, do you mind knocking it the fuck off, jackass? Go sniff someone else, ew.”

“C’mon now, hon… You know what’s happening to you. You know you need me.”

“Like I need a bullet wound to the head, Orton. Fuck off.” I tried to duck beneath his arm but his other hand caught on my hip, keeping me pinned between him and the wall. By now, the scent of him was so overpowering and gross that my stomach was lurching. My consolation thought as I began to panic a little and tried to think of a quick way out of this confrontation was that maybe if I just threw up on the asshole, he’d get away.

Somehow, I didn’t see that happening. Orton doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who picks up on cues, verbal or non-verbal. Likes to assert that dominance he fancies himself to have.

He chuckled again.

Then suddenly, the scent was back and it was overpowering his stench. ,, Thank God.” I thought to myself, daring to mutter the words under my breath. I found myself peering over Randy’s shoulder, waiting on whoever the intoxicating scent I’d been following originally to show themselves.

And when he stepped out behind Randy and into view… If I thought I was wet before, whew… I was absolutely flooded beyond all hope now. I swallowed hard, biting my lip, locking eyes with him. Randy seemed to realize that my attention was wandering and this of course, only made him up his game.

His hips brushed boldly against mine and I cringed, pretending to gag when I felt the way Orton strained at his trunks. At the moment, Randy was completely and blissfully unaware as to what fate awaited him if he were stupid enough to turn around and honestly?

I’m enough of a bitch that I was hell bent on not alerting Randy to it, either. Instead, I took a few shaky breaths and stared up at him defiantly. “Why do I need you, Orton? They make vibrators bigger than that fun sized Tootsie Roll I’ve heard you’re packing every day of the week. I don’t need you. Or anyone.”

I knew that part was a lie because as all this was going on, my body was in a literal frenzy at the sight of my Alpha. My skin was tight, I could barely breathe. I was doing good to think straight and form words, honestly. I was a split second away from being overwhelmed. Because thanks to my Alpha showing themselves, my heat cycle went from a mild annoyance to almost intolerable within a split second.

I needed to get away from Randy. I needed to get somewhere and calm down. But I wanted to stay exactly where I was, curious to see if my Alpha was here for the reason I’d ventured out of hair and makeup in the first place.

So far, all he was doing was standing there. Watching my little confrontation with Randy. The tension in his body quickly gave away his feelings on the matter, however. And that’s what kept me quiet. Allowed me to let Randy keep digging his own damn grave.

Because it amused me.

And I needed to know that my Alpha was actually a good Alpha. I needed to know he’d protect me, no matter what. I also needed to know that he knew when to fuck off and allow me to handle things on my own.

I wanted to test his boundaries too, if I’m being perfectly honest.

Randy bit his lip, staring down at me as if I were food and he was a starving man. He raised a hand and rubbed his chin in thought, eyes not leaving mine for a second. “Why do you need me? Well, it’s like this, doll. I want you. And you’re not in the mindset right now to turn down any Alpha who offers himself up, just goin off of that sweet little scent you’ve got yourself right now. Just drop the act, princess. You and I both know that if you don’t find an Alpha, things are going to get real messy back here. Real fast. And I don’t think you want that now, do you hon?”

,, what I want is for you to back the fuck away. Find a tube of toothpaste or some cologne or a shower, something… anything to rid yourself of the stench you’ve got yourself.” the thought came but I was treading carefully, so I kept it internal, choosing only to give a soft laugh and roll my eyes at Randy instead.

“You know exactly zilch about me and my ‘delicate state’, first of all. Secondly? I wouldn’t choose you for my Alpha if you were the last one on earth.” I managed to get the words out. I managed to keep my eyes off of my actual Alpha, who still stood by watching intently, fists clenched tight now.

When he gave a quiet growl and started to approach, the flood in my panties only got so much worse.

And naturally, Randy thought this meant that something he’d said was getting through and that I was just playing hard to get… He pressed me against him, a hand going to my cheek as he gave a smug grin and let his gaze settle on me thoughtfully. “I knew it.”

“Like I said, Randy, you really don’t have a single fucking clue.” I tried to squirm free from his grasp but the fever raging in my body and the overwhelming scent of my true Alpha as he grew angrier and angrier combined with the slightest panic I was feeling at being fucking cornered like an animal by Orton, those were all working against me and I couldn’t extract myself.

His answer was to smirk and chuckle again. “You realize I can scent you and I know exactly what’s on your mind right now, right?”

“Good, then you know I want to stab you in the eyeball with my stiletto. Or reach down, grab that little shrimp dick of yours and twist til it comes off in my hands?” I quipped, a sweet smirk on my face as I boldly met his gaze. When I picked up on him, slowly inching his face closer to mine, I swallowed hard. It felt as if my throat were closing up and it was quickly becoming clear to me that if I thought I had this under control, I really didn’t. Randy wasn’t going to stop or go away. And he wasn’t going to let me get away either.

Desperately, I found my gaze shifting over Randy’s shoulder. I locked eyes with my Alpha and mouthed, “Any day now?…” almost impatiently. I wanted Randy the entire fuck away from me. And I was really starting to realize that I couldn’t achieve that on my own. I was fully in over my head.

Typical of me, I’m afraid.

I have to admit, the fact that my Alpha had yet to actually do anything had me in an internal uproar. It had me thinking that maybe I’d gotten the wrong read on him when I watched an earlier promo in the night.

Before I had a chance to consider it fully, that my Alpha might not be a good guy either, two things happened. One, Randy’s hand left my cheek and his mouth closed in even more, rough lips almost about to brush mine and disgusting stench for a moment blocking out the scent of my Alpha. His hand settled on my hip and he was pulling me against him. 

I planted a hand firmly against his chest, palm down. “What the--?” I didn’t even get to finish my sentence because from behind Randy, my Alpha’s throat cleared.

Randy grumbled to himself, picking up on the presence of my Alpha. But it was too late.

My Alpha locked eyes with me and nodded, indicating that I needed to move now, while Randy was distracted, and trust me, I wasted absolutely no time doing that. I extracted myself from between Randy and the wall I’d had my back pressed against and not even a split second later, my Alpha’s fist went smashing into Randy’s face and he had him pinned against the wall, a forearm across his throat.

And I didn’t think, I just ran.

I ran until I was out in the parking garage and then I stopped, catching my breath. It passed through my mind that maybe I should go back inside and at least attempt to be there when the brawl taking place in the hallway was over, but honestly?

I needed to get myself together. To get calm. To process and catch my breath and try to puzzle everything out.

And yeah, maybe parts of me were curious. Wondering if my Alpha would seek me out, or whether the incident in the hallway was just him stepping in because I asked…

The door to the garage flew open a few feet away and I rose up slightly, eyes darting around. The scent of my Alpha filled my senses and I bit my lip, taking a few shaky breaths right as he started to call my name. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came. His footsteps were getting closer and closer.

My heart was racing and his scent hung heavily in the air around us, making me dizzy as the heat took over in my body. He touched me, and almost the instant I felt his hand on my shoulder, I could feel my body cooling down. This wave of relief washed over me and all I could think was that if this is what his touch felt like, I’d absolutely love more of it.

I inhaled deep, preparing myself to turn around…

[ roman ] [ drew ]

[loveisnotadagger]

Love Is Healing - Chapter One

Chapter 1/?

Description:  What if Loki wasn't sent back to Asgard after being defeated in 2012? What if his punishment matched Thor's and he had to live out his life as a mortal until he learned his lesson? Enter Arianna, a SHIELD agent with a special talent, who might just be Loki's saving grace. Not compatible with the Loki series as I haven't seen it yet.

Rating: T

Authors Note: There are mentions of rape in this story but I didn't tag it as a warning because it's not a major plot point although it is mentioned a few times because it's something the main female character went through as a teenager. It is a trauma that can still get to her even though it happened years ago - which is perfectly normal, in my opinion - but for the most part she's a functioning adult. There are just triggers that make her relive certain aspects of it. There is also mention of the trauma Loki has been through at the hands of Thanos and his on going recovery from that .That being said, I tried to make this as painless as possible, but some pain is necessary for the sake of the story. So there is definitely some angst sprinkled in.

I will tag chapters that mention the rape and any other triggers I can think of and will put a warning on them as well above the start of the chapter

Arianna Grace stood on the top floor of the Stark Tower looking out on Manhattan. She hated that she was stuck inside while all of her friends and coworkers were out there risking their lives. Arianna, however, wasn't a field agent even if she did work for SHIELD. She definitely didn't consider herself a hero.

She didn't own a mythical hammer as Thor did, and she didn't have super strength or a prolonged life span. She wasn't from another realm and she didn't have tales told about her as if she were a god. She wasn't a genius as Tony Stark and Bruce Banner were, and she didn't have a man-made suit of metal to help her fly around and save people. She definitely wasn't a science experiment gone wrong. She didn't turn into a huge green rage machine when she got angry, for which she was grateful. She wasn't an experiment gone right, either, as was the case for Steve Rogers – or Captain America as she had previously known him. She couldn't handle a weapon like Clint Barton – Hawkeye – and she couldn't fight to save her life . . . or anyone else's. Natasha Romanoff had tried teaching her and the only thing that came of that was Arianna not being able to move properly for a few days.

So no, Arianna wasn't out in the thick of things. She was safely tucked away in Stark Tower because what she could do wouldn't be needed until after everything was over. She could do something that the others couldn't do. She could heal the wounded. And she was sure a lot of people would be wounded in the aftermath of the battle that was now taking place.

She hadn't been kept completely up to date on the latest disaster, but she knew the gist. Thor's brother, Loki, was trying to take over Earth. Loki wanted to be Earth's king and maybe even Earth's god – she wasn't sure on that part. She'd seen a news clip of Loki trying to get people to kneel to him in Germany and most had.

The band of heroes that were called The Avengers had arrived to bring Loki in, to lock him up and had succeeded for a little while. He had, however, escaped and now Loki was in Manhattan. Hence the chaos outside.

From what Arianna had been told this whole situation was happening because of some stupid power source called a Tessaract and an idiot with a god complex. She knew the Tessaract was supposed to be a huge source of sustainable energy and that Loki had taken it, which was why the Avengers had been called together. She didn't know what Loki wanted it for. According to Thor, Loki was plenty powerful on his own.

Thor had also said something about Loki leading a war against Earth. Supposedly there was an army coming. The Chitauri, Thor had said. Loki would be able to rule with their help as long as he gave them the Tesseract. Would Loki really let go of all that power?

This Loki frightened her and she'd never even met him. He was an unknown threat. Natasha had warned her about him. He was a master manipulator and he had a way of controlling people. That was what Arianna feared most about him.

Arianna had only just been called in, so she hadn't been with the others when they'd captured Loki, but from what Natasha had said . . . he was something else. He'd even shaken her a bit by threatening Clint. Hawkeye had been put under Loki's control for a while. He'd since come back to himself.

Natasha had also told her about her confrontation with the Hulk, Bruce's alter ego. Natasha had almost been squashed, had almost been killed. Her physical training had saved her life.

Nick Fury, the director of SHIELD, had placed Arianna in the Tower because she needed to be close at hand once everything over. ----------

Arianna had been up in the Tower for almost three hours and had been kept relatively far away from danger . . . until now.

Now Loki was standing on the balcony of Stark Tower. Some science type person was there with him and they had what had to be the Tessaract with them. She could feel how powerful it was and to her it was a good kind of power. In the hands of Loki and people like Loki . . . that power wasn't good at all.

Arianna was hiding inside. She was in the living room of the penthouse. She'd flung herself behind the bar that Tony had deemed a necessary accessory to the room as soon as JARVIS had let her know someone had broken in. A security image had appeared and she'd seen the tall, black-haired image of Loki.

She didn't know how long she'd been hiding, but she hadn't been able to move for fear of being spotted. The whole room was faced with windows. The want-to-be-king couldn't see her or he would kill her or, far worse for her, place her under his control. She'd rather die than be forced into anything.

She heard doors open and then a smooth voice said, "Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity."

What? Had she been found out? How had he seen her? She was in the only spot in the room that would've been considered a good hiding spot.

"Um . . . actually, I'm planning to threaten you."

Tony! Loki had been talking to Tony. The doors she'd heard opening must've been Tony coming in.

"You should've left your armor on for that."

"Yeah, it's seen a lot of mileage."

The suit had been damaged? Tony was going to face Loki while unprotected by his suit? Had he lost his mind?

"You've got the blue stick of destiny." Tony was now behind the bar as well. He barely glanced at her, but Arianna could tell he had seen her. "Would you like a drink?"

"Stalling me won't change anything."

What scared Arianna the most right then was how calm Loki sounded; he was so sure of himself. She could tell that not only did he want to take over the Earth, but he believed that he should, that he deserved it somehow.

"No, no, no. Threatening. No drink? You sure? I'm having one."

"The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?"

"The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves. Sort of like a team. Earth's mightiest heroes type of thing."

"Yes. I've met them."

"Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give ya that one. But let's do a head count here."

Arianna didn't know Tony Stark that well. She'd only met him on two other occasions, but she liked him enough to not want him to die. She hoped he wasn't doing something stupid. He was supposed to be a genius.

Tony stepped away from the bar and went around. Arianna was sure that was an attempt to keep Loki from her.

"We've got your brother, the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend that kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breathtaking anger-management issues; a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella . . . you've managed to piss off every one of them."

"That was the plan."

"Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they'll come for you."

"I have an army."

"We have a hulk," Tony said.

"I thought the beast had wandered off."

So they were missing the one person that could actually probably defeat Loki? This was going great.

"You're missing the point. There's no throne; there's no version where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it."

There was a tense moment where Arianna wanted to know what was going on. She was tempted to peek and would have had she not realized how stupid that would've been.

"How will your friends have time for me when they're too busy fighting you?"

There was a ping and then another ping and Arianna felt tears fill her eyes. She'd understood that threat. Loki was going to take control of Tony and use him for destruction, use him as a distraction – and Tony knew where she was!

'You can stop this,' she thought. 'You know you can!'

"This usually works," Loki said, and for the first time Arianna heard something other than smugness come from him.

"Well, performance issues, you know . . ."

There was a thud and Arianna knew that was Tony falling to the floor. If she turned her head to the left, she could see Tony's body. He was able to move so he couldn't be but so hurt, but if she could see him then he could see her. If Tony could see her, then Loki would be able to see her if he went for Tony – and she knew he would.

A few seconds later, Tony was being thrown through a window and over the side of the building. She couldn't help it; she screamed, alerting Loki to her presence. Before the lunatic could get to her, however, a red pod looking thing shot out of the elevator in the front of the penthouse and sped out the window after Tony.

Mere seconds after that Tony, in his Iron Man suit, was back and firing shots at Loki, who actually fell over. At least they knew Tony's ammunition system could impact Loki, even if it was just for a little while.

Arianna knew she had to move now before Loki got his bearings. The trouble was . . . where could she go? If she went toward the front door, Loki could get her, but the same thing would happen if she went for the window.

Suddenly there was a terrible boom and Arianna had no clue what it was or where it had come from.

"Right, army!" she heard Tony say. "Arianna, run!"

That set her in motion and she scrambled to her feet. She motioned for Tony to go. The world mattered more than she did. As long as she could make it out of the penthouse –

A flash of blue light hit the wall right in front of her, effectively destroying her escape route.

"Stop!" Loki demanded.

Arianna had no choice but to listen as her exit was now blocked.

"Turn around."

She obeyed. She noticed the pleased expression on his face. His smile would've been beautiful if he hadn't looked criminally insane.

"Were you there the whole time?" he asked, moving toward her.

Arianna didn't know how Loki was still standing after being shot with what had been a missile, but there he was.

"I – I was." She hated the shake in her voice, so she took a deep breath to steady herself. "Why are you destroying my world?"

"I don't want to destroy it, Midgardian. I want to rule it."

Loki was so close now that he was towering over her. She had to bend her head back to meet his eyes. She noticed how blue they were. They were another thing that would have been beautiful had they not seemed maniacal.

Her breaths came out in pants and she began trembling. Men like Loki scared her. He could be charming, she was sure, but he could also be cruel. That was a deadly combination.

"Look at you. Lost, alone, frightened . . ."

The way he spoke, he sounded disgusted with her, and to be honest she was disgusted with herself. She was not this little shell of a person. She may have been once, but not anymore. She shouldn't let Loki get under her skin, but he did and she couldn't help it.

"Loki! Turn off the Tessaract or I'll destroy it!"

Thor! Arianna had only met him hours earlier, but she would recognize that deep, authoritative voice anywhere. More importantly, it drew Loki's attention away from her.

"You can't. There is no stopping it. There is only the war."

----------

So . . . should I continue?