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tl-notes · 3 years

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Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon S2 Episode 2 Notes

Here’s some notes for episode two, too, if you’d care to join me.

The “stay quiet” here is 大人し[い] otonashii, which takes the word for “adult” and adjectivizes it. It’s a common word with a variety of meanings, such as when something is “behaving” properly and not raising a fuss (from children to computer code to a chronic disease to political forces, all sorts of things) or when something comes across as “mature” (like a clothing design or a young person).

In this case the idea is that the dragons had chosen to “behave” and mind their own business, which (they seem to assume) led the humans into underestimating them and deciding to attack. (”Stay quiet” probably does a pretty good job of getting that across, but just to fill it out.)

This is 残念ながら zannen nagara, or “unfortunately...”.

The reason I bring it up here, is that it’s not a particularly intimate way of speaking and leans somewhat formal—potentially implying Ilulu has no more close relatives left to give her this news (and/or maybe her family’s social position is one where other dragons had to treat them with respect).

The second line here is 平常心を保つよ、私は, which is a fairly strong declaration of intent. I kind of feel like “I need to keep a clear head” sounds less confident, like convincing herself “ok bad situation, but if I just do this I’m fine.” In contrast, the Japanese imo is more of a “[Ilulu can do what she may,] but it won’t get it to me either way.” Just a mild point of characterization I suppose.

Just for clarity, she does use the word 雄 osu here, which is the more biological term for “in a sexually reproducing species, the one that produces sperm,” rather than a more gender-based term.

The TV show, シャシャシャシャキーン Sha-sha-sha-shakiin, is a combo reference to irl Saturday-morning kids’ variety show じゃじゃじゃじゃ～ン Ja-ja-ja-jaaN and weekday-morning シャキーン! Shakiin!.

The former’s name comes from the Japanese equivalent of ta-dah!, while the latter’s comes from the ”sound” for becoming alert, going from relaxed/sleepy/bored/etc. to “wide awake let’s go.” (though not necessarily sleep/wake related)

If you’ve seen these two emoji:

(´・ω・｀) (｀・ω・´)

The one on the right is the “シャキーン” one, and is the contrast to the gloomy one on the left (ショボーン shobon). Or these, going from asleep to awake:

( ˘ω˘ )ｽﾔｧ… (｀・ω・´) ｼｬｷｰﾝ

In manga and stuff you’ll also see it used for e.g. someone drawing/brandishing a sword, striking a cool poses with a lens flare, things like that.

I think it gets translated to metallic-y sounds in English fairly often in those cases (like drawing a katana, or a mecha pose), hence the translation above.

The verb for “frolic” here is じゃれる jareru (no relation to jajaan above), which is like to play/mess around, typically in a physical sense. For example it’s used in the compound word じゃれ合う jareau, which is often used in the same way English might say “playful wrestling” about kids or animals.

Though the word Kobayashi uses is actually a different じゃれる compound, じゃれつく jaretsuku, which is like playfully/affectionately grabbing/cuddling up/etc., (also primarily regarding kids or animals). There’s a bit of overlap with some of the uses of あまえる amaeru mentioned in the last episode’s notes.

Assuming I had the visuals, I’d probably just write this as “Please not on my lap...” or similar. (Kobayashi also uses a different verb conjugation for Tohru vs. Kanna in this scene, ~つくな vs. ~つかないで; Kanna’s being more plead-y compared to Tohru’s more “cut it out!” feel, hence the “please.”)

“Contact” here is “skin-ship,” a portmanteau-esque combination of skin and kinship or relationship. It’s primarily a Japanese word (you won’t find it in English dictionaries typically), but it was apparently coined by an American speaker at an international WHO seminar in 1953 (from which a Japanese attendee brought it back to Japan and it was later popularized).

The original use of the word was in reference specifically to parent-child physical intimacy, but as it became more widespread in usage the meaning extended to all sorts of relationships, from the platonic to the romantic.

One reason, presumably, that the term caught on so powerfully in Japan is that it has historically been a very touch-adverse culture (at least compared to say the US), and this extends even to parents with their children after the first few years. You’d see (and still see) psychologists recommend “more skinship” to people, for example.

The relative lack of skinship may partially explain the head pat thing mentioned in last episode’s notes (e.g. when you want to touch your kid, but hugs aren’t on the menu) and things like the old “hand-holding is lewd” meme. (Note this isn’t just me getting all orientalist here; there’s been a good bit of research on the skinship gap, and how it may be shrinking, by Japanese scholars.)

This line is also a bit of foreshadowing that Tohru has realized Kobayashi’s... situation already.

The Japanese here is 心と心でつながった後は体ですよ, which I only really mention because I kinda felt like the English’s “Now...” implied she was saying they only recently ‘connected their hearts,’ which I don’t feel from the Japanese wording and would say is probably not how Tohru thinks. E.g. more of a “Our hearts are already connected; now it’s time for our bodies!” kinda thing.

This 3/3 is March 3rd, which “equals” ♀ because that’s the date of Hinamatsuri, sometimes also referred to as Girl’s Day. The third day of the third month was originally a holiday brought over with the Chinese calendar, and it morphed from a more spring/peaches holiday into it’s more girl-oriented version at some point in the Edo period.

One of the highlights of Hinamatsuri is the doll displays, as pictured in this short bit with the Saikawa sisters. There are various types of displays, but this sort of staircase arrangement is the most common I believe. Each level has a certain type of doll that goes on it, with the top level having an “emperor” and an “empress” doll—which is the pair Riko replaces with dolls of herself and Kanna.

There’s some similarities between these doll displays and stereotypical Christmas trees: a family is likely to have a set of ornaments/dolls they mostly reuse each year, you put them up some time in advance of the actual holiday, then get lazy and leave them up too long put them away for a year after it’s over. A lot of businesses and such will put up displays as well.

“The judge in the underworld” is left vague here and isn’t a specific reference to anything, but is generally in line with the typical “image” of what happens after you die (setting aside actual religious beliefs) in Japan.

Please see the documentary series Hoozuki no Reitetsu for more info.

As of right now in the anime, Ilulu has only shown up twice, and only once of those when Kobayashi was alone. The implication seems to be that there have been other Ilulu encounters that we haven’t seen.

Also, for clarity, the Japanese is 私が一人の時にいつもイルルは来るから, which is more of a “whenever I’m alone Ilulu shows up” than a “she only shows up when I’m alone.” (The English could sorta be read either way I think?)

This bit is それだけじゃないって、争い以外もあると思ってくれているからだ。私はそんなトールを信じているから…　だからその為にイルルと和解したい

The main point of contention I have with this English is that it implies Kobayashi wants Tohru and Ilulu to make up. However, I’d say this is more Kobayashi wanting to come to terms with Ilulu herself (and just by extension Tohru/the other dragons/maybe other humans).

That is, by making peace between herself the human and the “hostile” dragon Ilulu, she’d be helping prove Tohru’s belief correct—and she has faith in Tohru that it is (see also last season finale).

(Notably while Tohru is Chaos faction herself, there’s not really been another Chaos dragon yet to be convinced like this. Kanna is no-faction, Fafnir is technically no-faction even if Chaos-ish, Quetzalcoatl is an observer, Elma is Harmony, and Tohru’s father is an exception on multiple levels.)

Without getting too deep into the “why,” one quick thing I’ll point out is that she says 和解したい wakai shitai, not してほしい shite hoshii or させたい sasetai etc., meaning it’s something she wants to do herself, not want/make someone else do. Generally speaking you can’t use the ~たい “want to” form for anyone but yourself (you don’t know what anyone else is thinking, after all), unless quoting them, asking, or in the ~がる “seems to want to” form.

This is a 防犯ブザー bouhan buzaa, a crime-prevention buzzer, also known as a personal or self-defense alarm. They emit a very loud sound when activated. The idea is you, well, use it like she does here, when someone is trying to do a crime to you.

Since most Japanese children walk to school, it’s extremely common for these devices to given to students (either by parents or a gov’t body). It’s technically recommended for adults to carry them too, though the advent of the mobile phone has driven down carry rates.

This particular one was probably purchased in episode four of season one, if you want to rewatch and see why!

This is 私にぶつけたい気持ちでもあるの？in the Japanese.

The verb for “tell” is ぶつける butsukeru, an evocative word meaning ~to slam against (somewhat similar to “vent” in English when used with emotions/feelings).

The “something” is 気持ち kimochi, ~emotion/feeling/thought.

So the Japanese here feels a lot more expressive than "something you want to tell me,” I would say (that could just as easily be a translation of 話したいこと). That said it’s not an easy thing to express in English within the confines of the format here, especially if you want to keep the “target = ‘me’” part.

It might feel somewhat like “You got something bottled up you wanna hit me with?”, though I doubt if I’d use that either.

As a side note, the manga has Kobayashi say an extra line after this, about being the “main tank” to take her “hate” (Japanese for “aggro” in MMOs).

A small note that “that girl and that boy” is あの子とあの子 ano ko to ano ko, so no gender specification in the Japanese (it’s a good language for talking about people without specifying a gender!).

“Next time” here is 今度 kondo, which is an interesting word because you can situationally use it for “recently,” “this time,” “next time,” or “soon.”

The reason I bring it up here is the English “next time,” personally, leaves me thinking “Was there a previous time? What ‘next’ do you mean?”—just a heads up that that’s not really an issue in the original line.

Also: this whole extended scene with Kobayashi saving Ilulu is one of the “many senses” mentioned in the episode title. (see also episode one notes re ikemen)

As an aside, this "play” is じゃれ合い jareai, the noun form of the jareau that was mentioned in the above “frolic” note.

If you were wondering: “Do dragons use paper?”, the word here is 形骸化 keigai-ka, (almost) lit. ~reduced to bones, meaning something that once was strong/effective is now basically just a formality. It’s similar to the phrase “dead letter” in reference to old laws that aren’t really enforced anymore.

So two potential points of ~lore relevance~ here: 1) the rules probably used to be enforced, 2) we have no evidence (either way, from this) that they actually have them on paper somewhere.

こりゃトールの父ちゃんは本格的に優しかったみたいだな

This might just be me reading too much into the English (again), but one difference in nuance between these two lines is that the English has Kobayashi implying Tohru’s dad “seemed” kind (which implies he’s not really kind, just kind in contrast to this villain), while the Japanese is more taking this as evidence that Tohru’s dad was actually being kind (see also last season finale).

For those wondering if the みたい in that line would imply a “seems”: it sort of does, but it applies across the whole observation here. I.e. “seems Tohru’s father was genuinely nice” vs. “making Tohru’s father seem genuinely nice” (which I’d guess would probably use 優しく見えてくる or something).

When you see “underestimate” in anime, most of the time it’s なめる nameru. It comes from the verbified archaic adjective 無礼し nameshi, meaning a combination of looking down on, acting rude towards, etc., and uses the same characters as “rude” (though often written in hiragana/katakana).

It also is a homonym of the verb “to lick,” so “Don’t underestimate humans” sounds identical to “Don’t lick humans.”

“Functional member of society” is 社会人 shakaijin, ~lit. person of society, which is a very commonly used word to refer to basically anyone who is an active member of society. It includes homemakers, so it’s not strictly “has a job at a company,” but in many contexts it’s used like “people with jobs” versus “students and NEETs.”

(Not that there’s anything wrong with the translation, just some extra context.)

A technique reminiscent of this shadow puppet silhouette style was also used in Hyouka, another Kyoani show and one directed by the late Series Director Takemoto Yasuhiro.

I kind of feel like yelling “Stay with me!” at someone injured is something you do when they’re in danger of fading away, not when they’re waking back up? Maybe that’s just me.

The Japanese is お気を確かに o-ki wo tashika ni, a polite (since Tohru almost always speaks kinda formally to Kobayashi, as part of the maid thing) way of saying “pull/hold it together,” and is used in a variety of situations.

Kanna’s line is a question (e.g. like “are you okay?”) in the Japanese here, whereas the English sounds more like something you say to someone who’s injured to try to reassure them.

This line is その子離れようとしないんです sono ko hanareyou to shinai n desu.

The English is a pretty literal translation: hanareru is the verb for leaving/separating (in some senses), and the ~you conjugation means “try to ~”. However, that conjugation also has a second use in just indicating intent—especially when used in the negative, like here—so e.g. “She didn’t want to leave your side,” or “She wouldn’t leave your side at all.”

（◎Д◎）

Just in case: this is an emoji for expressing shock.

One thing that is left out of the English in this line is the だけ dake, “only.”

So Kobayashi’s not necessarily surprised at this by itself, but in contrast to the fact that Tohru says she probably can hide her claws/tail (so why not this too?).

The base phrase Tohru is saying here is 私たちの仲じゃないですか, which roughly means “that’s just our relationship,” and is used commonly when being thanked for doing a favor for someone close. It’s similar in meaning to something like “hey of course, no problem, I know you’d do the same for me.”

Tohru puts a little spin on it by adding the “eternal” to make it 永遠の仲, which is a separate phrase that means probably what you’d think it means.

This quick cut to Tohru’s feet and the light “foot pop” motion... I have a hard time believing it’s anything but the director trying to give some subtle “goodbye kiss when leaving for work” vibes, even if they aren’t literally kissing. Just me?

Here she says あのトール ano Tohru, lit. “that Tohru,“ which in this sort of context carries a meaning similar to using an italicized “that” in English: not just any Tohru, but that Tohru, the famous one. The implication is that yes indeed Tohru is well-known among other dragons—and known to be quite strong and merciless.

It’s not a particularly big deal, but technically this is 人間と, i.e. Living with.

The ball hands thing is generally thought of as “Doraemon hands” in Japan. Doraemon gets the name from the food “dorayaki,” but “Dora” is also how you pronounce the first two syllables in “Dragon” (ドラゴン doragon).

Keep this in mind.

挨拶 (あいさつ) aisatsu, often translated as “greeting(s)”, is a lot bigger of a thing culturally for Japan than it might be for where you live. Though translated as “greetings” it also includes farewells and more. Basically a general term for “in X situation, say Y” style semi-set phrases.

In more traditionally minded companies, for example, employees are often expected to give a rote ohayou gozaimasu when they arrive (even if they think no one is around to hear it), and may get chewed out for not doing so or half-assing it. Then when passing someone in the hallway etc., an otsukare-sama desu, and yet another phrase when leaving for the day. Also the ittekimasu and itterasshai (when leaving home/saying bye to them) or tadaima and okaeri (returning home/welcoming back) that probably many anime-watchers are familiar with. Even itadakimasu is an aisatsu.

Obviously every culture utilizes “greetings” like this, but in Japan they’re pretty heavily ritualized and treated as a cornerstone of human relations, a key part of showing respect for your fellow humans (even people you hate!) and ensuring the smooth working of society. It’s not the thing they chose to have Tohru put first in her “living with humans [in Japan]” notebook for nothing!

The English “the” is a popular word to use in Japanese as an intensifier, similar to how it’s used in a sentence like “this isn’t just an [example], it’s the [example]!”

It’s usually pronounced “za” and often written that way in katakana (ザ) for this usage. (If you type “za” in a Japanese IME, most will offer up “the” as one of the options to convert the text to, even.)

The word she says here is 喝 katsu, which, in this sense, is a stereotypical thing for a Zen teacher to say to a student as a stand-in for explaining some deep Zen concept that words can’t describe. So here, it’s kinda like “Yes this may seem contradictory, but really it’s just too complicated for you! No more questions!”

Obviously that’s oversimplified and it’s used in other ways too (see Saikawa’s father during the sports festival), but just for the purposes of this joke, there you have it.

The word used in the Japanese here is 建前 tatemae. If you’ve ever studied any Japanese, you’ve likely heard about honne vs. tatemae, your inner feelings vs. the front you put up for social reasons.

People new to the language are sometimes prone to approaching that distinction with “well why doesn’t everyone just honne all the time, why play games?”, but of course almost everyone splits themselves like this. You probably hate your boss, but you also probably don’t tell them that to their face to avoid getting fired. Or maybe you have some family members you can’t stand, but act nice around anyway because it’s not worth the trouble to start fights.

Japan just put names to the idea, and maybe leans a little more toward encouraging tatemae in more situations.

This is せいぜい悩むんですね.

せいぜい seizei as an adverb means doing something to utmost extent one is capable of. You’ve likely heard it from a villain somewhere saying something like “Struggle all you like, wahaha!”.

Though it’s not necessarily down-talky like that, in modern times that is the trend (you can use it for yourself no problem, but if used to talk about someone else’s actions it may come off as belittling). Tohru, as one of the strongest beings in the setting and with the pride to match, uses it a lot.

悩む nayamu is to worry, fret, ruminate over (some difficulty etc.).

The sentence in general is one that is highly context dependent, but here it’s Tohru thinking to herself, somewhat impressed, that Ilulu is actually putting serious thought into the question of what she wants to do with her life.

And, as the background suggests, finding it surprisingly adorable/admirable; up until just a few days ago, Ilulu was known as one of the most extremist Chaos faction dragons obsessed with nothing but destruction, yet look at her now. In a way, Tohru’s taken over an older sister kind of role for her.

(For the curious, if the ね was dropped or swapped to a よ here, that would imply she was directing the comment “at” Ilulu, rather than saying it in observation.)

The word here is 契る chigiru, which usually means to swear/pledge (e.g. swear a pact, pledge your love), but can also be a somewhat fancy word for having sex, especially of a married couple.

I feel like I personally would have used more of a euphemism for the translation.

The phrase here is ダメの助 dame-no-suke, where dame is no/bad/can’t do/useless, and (no)suke is a common ending to first names; both actual names and sort of on-the-spot nicknames; someone looking sleepy might be called a 寝坊助 nebou-suke in the same way as “sleepyhead.”

Or, as here, sticking to the end of things for comedic effect or as indication of a panicked/confused thought process.

（ ° ρ ° ）

Just in case: this one is also expressing shock, but a kind of dumbfounded shock. The ρ is a drooling, slack-jawed mouth.

In the next episode preview they talk about where Ilulu will sleep, since they don’t have room for another bed. Ilulu wants to sleep in the closet—or more specifically, the 押し入れ oshi-ire, which is a particular closet layout you’ll find in many Japanese bedrooms.

The typical difference is that an 押し入れ was originally designed for 和室 washitsu, traditional-style Japanese rooms with tatami floors, primarily as storage space for folded-up futon/blankets/pillows, as you would put those away during the day to free up space. Thus they typically are rather wide, mildly deep, and have a waist-height, solid horizontal divider capable of supporting a lot of weight.

They actually are pretty okay for sleeping in if you’re not claustrophobic or tall.

Anyway, I bring this up because you know who else very famously sleeps in one of these? That’s right: Doraemon.

#maidragon #kobayashi's dragon maid #kobayashi-san chi no maid dragon #miss kobayashi's dragon maid #anime #translation notes #season 2

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fmdminhee · 3 years

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headcanon 001. lily’s title tracks & minhee’s opinions. word count: 1,422.

notes: this is all new writing! song titles are not included in the word count.

into the new world

nearly ten years on, minhee still insists that into the new world was an iconic debut song. she was only in her mid teens when lily debuted, and was full of hope, so ready to start a life free of her mother’s clutches. with all that in mind, there probably isn’t a better song in the world she could’ve debuted with. in the years since, so many girl groups have performed it, almost like a rite of passage, and they’ve rearranged it into a ballad version. if either of those come up, minhee will cry. she’s an ugly crier. it’s pretty embarrassing.

gee

gee gee gee gee baby baby - hwang minhee (minnie), 2013. she wants the lyrics of gee engraved on her tombstone, if possible. it’s still one of her favourites, and not just because it was a career maker. to be honest, if they hadn’t managed to at least match it with hits going forward, she’d probably dislike it by now. but, as it stands, she loves how unabashedly cute it is. 10/10, would perform all the time if she didn’t know her members’ heads would probably explode.

nonono

nonono is super fun and super catchy, and minhee really enjoyed promoting it. nowadays it’s not one that she’d pull out immediately, preferring the comeback preceding it and the three directly after, but she likes the song. it feels very classic lily, and listening back to it, and the corresponding mini-album, makes her feel sentimental as hell.

tell me

one of minhee’s top three, i think! do not hold me or her to that. all of lily’s title tracks are bangers and ranking depends on mood. but tell me definitely consistently stays in the top five. it might not be technically as good as some of their other releases from around the same era, but it’s tied with gee and oh! for number one song that makes her hyper as fuck. it’s just too much fun, she can’t take it. she got to be wonder woman for the music video too, which was cool. everything about tell me scratches minhee’s silly little brain just right.

mr. chu

though not quite on the same level as tell me and oh!, which 100% turn minhee’s brain up to 2x speed, mr. chu still gets minhee hyped up. something about the chorus and choreography and concept just all fit correctly. she’d like to say they invented the weirdly popular girl groups on tennis courts concept, but she should probably cite her sources somewhere. it’s sort of like a more her nonono.

oh!

oh! came out around the same time that minhee was coming of age, and actually wanting to try something a little different to lily’s typical concepts, and oh!’s styling allowed her to do that -- she liked it a lot, she felt like she was the cool girl in an american high school movie. not only that, but she loves the dance and the addictive chorus too. she has about as much fun with it as she does with gee and tell me.

run devil run

when minhee said she wanted to do something different, she didn’t mean it like this. in all seriousness, run devil run is a fun song, but she appreciates it much more today than she did when they released it. the image reversal on stage was really difficult for her. still, if they were going to go down a sexy route, she hoped it wouldn’t feature so much tight leather in the future. short shorts >>>.

nobody

a very cool song, one that minhee thinks did better at showing off her versatility than run devil run, alongside showing the public lily’s more grown up and sexier sides, without going as far as run devil run did either. she got to be expressive in her face, and really had a lot of fun playing it up for the cameras. fun fact! it’s her dad’s favourite lily title track.

genie (tell me your wish)

genie minhee’s beloved <3 truly one of their best. it’s the perfect blend of original and the at the time emerging new lily. refreshing and upbeat, flirty and fun. it’s an unbeatable combination of all the things that make lily great. she has absolutely no qualms about calling it a modern classic.

hoot

BOP. has a lot of the same positives for minhee as nobody and genie. she loves the whole old school thing from this era of lily’s title tracks. one of her personal top favourites (a contender for a slot in the ever rotating top three and five), not least thanks to the choreography in the chorus. she thinks hoot is iconic, and though yes, people would agree, she thinks it deserves to be even more of a widespread opinion.

i got a boy

minhee’s tiny attention span loves i got a boy. she really loves it, like seriously. it’s one of lily’s most active choreographies, and she doesn’t think any other group could pull off a song like i got a boy. who else could get away with it?? she loves how youthful it feels too, and how it managed to be so without it feeling like they’d gone too far back after the mature-ish retro concepts before it.

the boys

for minhee, the boys is kind of like run devil run’s better younger sister. run devil run was a test run, then they took the formula and made it ten times better with the boys. maybe it’s a confidence thing though. her self esteem was never low, per se, but she was definitely better equipped for a concept like this in 2017 than she was in 2015.

be my baby

retro lily best lily! minhee adores be my baby for its return to one of her favourite styles of lily song -- the kind she can really get expressive during. she could be cute and pouty up on stage again, while still acting her age. she had so much fun performing be my baby, and it’s another contender for the top five title tracks in her opinion.

only one

only one is a nice song, for sure, but it’s pretty close to the bottom of minhee’s list. it’s like an unremarkable return to classic lily ... except it’s not fun or cute enough to satisfy minhee’s standards. weirdly, it makes her feel old. as if bc is putting an odd, grainy filter on an otherwise modern song and concept because they doubted whether or not the girls could still pull off the likes of mr. chu or nonono.

luv

luv is uncharacteristically somber when compared to pretty much all of their other title tracks, but minhee, surprisingly, likes it a lot. it’s catchy, both in its music and its choreography, and it’s a good blend of the old school drama type of vibe she gets from something like nobody or be my baby with the sweetness and sincerity of into the new world. a dark horse in minhee’s rankings.

five

five, in minhee’s opinion, is a much better attempt at whatever bc was trying to do with only one. it feels much more like proper original vibes lily, noticeably lacking the inexpiable bad vibes she got off the whole production of only one. everything about five came naturally to her.

remember

remember is a really unique song in lily’s discography in terms of its concept. the nautical summery themes also sort of reminded minhee of nonono and the sailor outfits they wore all the way back then. in the grand scheme of things, it lands squarely towards the end of minhee’s list in terms of preference, but above only one.

mr. mr.

ULTRA BOP. minhee loves mr. mr. so much. it’s got all of the retro influences that she adores, topped with a modern electronic dance flair. she’s conceited, so if you ask her, she’ll tell you that lily were the trendsetters behind retro coming back, citing mr. mr. and, like, half of their earlier title tracks for good measure. again, she’s come a long way since run devil run, and is much more comfortable being cool as well as cute now.

i’m so sick

i’m so sick is retro leaning, has a fun dance, and the styling makes minhee feel like a sad princess in a fantasy version of modern day. it’s perfect. she doesn’t love it as much as a lot of their previous releases, but she thinks it’s a really good concept for them to run with in 2021. she’d admittedly been sort of doubting bc and her decision to renew her contract because of her gripes with only one and remember, but thanks to 2021′s releases, minhee feels pretty satisfied with her choice.

#( * hc )#important!!! bc i've been thinking abt this after listening to my lily playlist on repeat since the restructure was revealed!!!!#gonna do a couple things on eunah and then /: clear out my room so i can get new carpet put down lol and then hopefully either tn or tomorro #i can reply to everyone's messages properly!!! i slept in today even after going to bed early so i'm a little behind schedule

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straightfacedstrangeness · 3 years

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Not that anyone asked (but seriously I’d LOVE for someone to talk to me about PokeSpe (just no spoilers past vol 13)) but since I made an offhand remark about my Top 5 favorite characters, it occurred to me that I actually DO have approximately 5 top favorite characters, and I’m procrastinating on work, so I’m gonna ramble

**just in case, note that a lot of this will revolve around my childhood experience with gender in a “I’m AFAB (and present-day me still identifies as a cis girl) but I don’t fit in with what media is telling me girls are like” way, a brief childhood feeling of homophobia, and probably general TMI about my opinions and emotions throughout my life, haha

1. Yellow

Okay, so, I was a little kid when Pokemon Adventures started coming out in English, back when manga was released as single-issue monthly comic books instead of complete volumes. So I was rereading the same chapters over and over while anxiously awaiting the rest of the story (and wound up missing a bunch of issues anyway)

I enjoyed the RGB arc, I thought it was fun, but I didn’t LOVE the series until Yellow showed up. At that age my ideal crush was “a cute boy my age who would be nice to me” and Yellow was presented to the reader as a cute boy my age who was sweet and kind and gentle, but also good in a fight, as all shounen protags must be. Extra bonus points because they had just a few physically weak Pokémon and tried to fight battles in a way that minimized damage to their own and the opponent’s Pokémon, which meant they fought in a particularly smart and clever way. And I was considered “smart” for being good at school, so being a SMART cute “boy” my age who would be nice to me, Yellow was PERFECT. I mean, I loved the arc in general because of the clever battles, and the mystery of what had happened to Red, why these people were after Pikachu, why Yellow was so secretive about themself and their mission, etc was really engaging. But also I adored Yellow as a character and partly in a “I wonder if ‘he’ would like me??” kind of way X’D So to my tiny child self who didn’t even know it was possible to like-like someone of the same gender (because I hadn’t read Cardcaptor Sakura yet XD ), the reveal that Yellow was a “girl” was devastating—I had to cross out floating hearts on at least one drawing of us holding hands (scandalous!) and, while kind of stunned and shaken for a while, decided that what I’d felt all along was a deep, intense desire to be friends X’D (which probably wasn’t too far from the truth since I was pre-puberty and later turned out to be asexual)

(Also note that I never got the RGB issue that had the chapter where Red helps a little ‘girl’ capture a Rattata—later proven to be Yellow’s backstory—so the gender reveal really came out of nowhere for me.)

But anyways, I still love Yellow as a character for all the above reasons, without the crush aspects because I’m way older than them now.

Also when I reread the series ten years ago, I finally realized “wait, aside from surprising the reader, there’s no real plot reason for Yellow to pretend to be a ‘boy’ except that Green told ‘her’ to—so why did ‘she’ do it?”...and because at that time I didn’t even know that nonbinary genders existed, I decided it was cus they had low self-esteem and pretending to be a different person gave them courage (the same reading I had for Mulan at the time). These days I’m more inclined to “yeah, I think Yellow’s nonbinary,” but that other interpretation was deeply relatable to me and only made me love Yellow even more.

2. Bill

Bill’s definitely a character I’ve grown to love more as an adult, since I’ve gone from seeing myself as “a protagonist doing cool things” to “a side character just living their life who hopefully gets to do something once in a while.” But as a kid and now, I like him mostly for the slapstick and goofy expressions and the (early chapters Viz translations) outrageous accent X’D My brain desperately craves endorphins and the best way to get em is through a good laugh.

But also, I liked that he was introduced as a goofy character-of-the-week who got into ridiculous trouble and had to be rescued, but then kept being brought back, was slowly built up to be the “smart sidekick who explains things,” and eventually got to the point where he was participating in big battles (the Yellow finale on Cerise Island). I rambled about this in the tags of another post, but I liked that he was a character who was “weak” without being “useless.” As a kid who was good at school, I was obsessed with being good at things and had developed a black-and-white view of the world where either you were “strong/smart” or “weak/stupid” to the point that failing or just being not-so-good at anything was devastating (it still kind of is), because that meant I was actually “weak/stupid” when I was supposed to be “strong/smart.” So it was kind of awesome that this guy who kept getting into trouble and having to be rescued—and didn’t even want to BE part of the final battle—managed to hold his own and get through it and help out instead of being a burden that dragged everyone down. Seriously, he used a MAGIKARP effectively—the Pokémon everyone makes fun of for being “useless” and he used its one attack to save his life!

(Bonus points for all this happening in contrast to my devastating childhood experience of stanning The One Girl Character in every popular shounen series, waiting desperately for her to get to do something in battle, and then her one spotlight episode revolved around her struggling because she was so weak...not only was that actually happening to a boy for once, it was actually happening in a more satisfying/empowering way :’D )

3. Gold

I have extremely specific tastes when it comes to “the dumb shounen/action movie protag,” because as a kid I hated it when the main character was “dumb” because I was “smart” (re: good at school) and people who were “dumb” shouldn’t deserve to be the main character and have all the cool powers and save the world and stuff. As an adult, I hate it when male characters are dumb and/or jerks but it’s treated as fine or even sexy(??) and the other characters fawn over them, and I generally still kind of hate it when characters who are dumb and/or jerks get the big important role when there’s a female character RIGHT THERE who’s more competent (and OF COURSE she has to wind up falling in love with him)

But anyway, I have extremely specific tastes, and Gold is it X’D He’s the perfect combination of “unshakably confident in his own stupid/egotistic views” and “treated as annoying and/or comic relief by the rest of the cast” with a bonus dash of actually being really clever in battle (so my inner child goes “Ah yes, technically, he is ’smart,’ and therefore...worthwhile“) Making me laugh while also impressing me is like the key to my heart.

4. Crystal

I’m too lazy to look it up, but when Viz was publishing Pokemon Adventures as monthly comics, they must have switched to publishing it as trade paperbacks only and/or had a huge gap between the end of Yellow and the start of GSC, because for YEARS I’d thought Yellow was the end of the series and was shocked the first time I saw later volumes. (My dad was buying us the monthly issues at the local comic store, and either they wouldn’t have ordered the trade paperbacks or he wouldn’t have thought to check those shelves.)

Anyway, that’s a long lead-in to the statement of “Crystal would automatically be my #1 or #2 if I’d read her arc as a kid.” She’s a girl, she wears pants, she’s EXTREMELY smart (genius-level “book-smarts” about every Pokémon’s behaviors and weaknesses PLUS being clever in a battle), was tough as nails (she KICKED her Pokéballs!!), had no interest in romance or her appearance, AND had a short arc about losing her confidence and training herself back up to full power. I would have KILLED for a character like that when I was a little girl being told that “girls don’t like action shows like Dragon Ball Z” (but I was a girl and I did???) and that girls were supposed to be pretty and obsessed with fashion and dating, and that girls were never the main character of action series, just side characters who either did nothing or got one chance to do something and were pathetically weak (see above, and/or Sakura’s fight against Ino (Naruto), those couple filler eps where Téa/Anzu played Duel Monsters (Yu-Gi-Oh), Videl getting pummeled by Spopovich (DBZ), etc).

So anyway, she’s awesome, she’s exactly the type of character I would’ve loved as a kid. The only reason she’s behind Gold here is because at my age, “makes me laugh” > “the kind of main character I used to wish I could be”

5. Green (the girl trainer...I’m just too loyal to the Viz version to call her “Blue”...)

I’m trying not to rehash the same “I’m a girl but none of the girls in my shows/comics are like me!” childhood woes over and over, haha, but as much as I always enjoyed Green for being extremely clever and outsmarting the boys and being funny when she did so, she always lost points with me for being “pretty” and flirting to get her way, because that put her in the box of “girls are supposed to be pretty and desired by boys and obsessed with their appearance and romance” that was so foreign and disheartening to me as a kid.

But her staredown with Ho-oh at the end of the GSC arc TOTALLY got me. As a sad adult with anxiety, watching characters who are absolutely terrified overcome their fear, watching characters who are completely beaten down struggle back to their feet and keep fighting, is like my ultimate power fantasy. That sequence genuinely had me in tears.

Also her bond with Silver is super precious, especially since that’s like the first time in the series we’ve seen her be genuinely emotional and vulnerable with someone instead of teasing or manipulating them.

Honorable mention: Sapphire

I haven’t gotten up to R/S in my reread yet, and I only read that arc once over like a weekend ten years ago, but I’m pretty sure she’s gonna be a Top Fave cus again there’s that “I'm not like other girls!” childhood feel (last time I’m saying it, I promise)

It’s a story arc where one protag wants to fight the gyms and the other protag wants to win the beauty contests, but the one who wants to fight the gyms is the girl!! And she’s the typical “dumb but extremely good at fighting” shounen protag but she’s the girl!! She’s feral and illiterate and a total tomboy and wins all her fights and she’s a GIRL!!!!

Anyway, those are my kids and my dude and my probably way-too-personal reasons why. If you wanna reblog, reply, or send an ask about your own faves...please

#pokemon adventures #rambling #crackpotawesomes #spent like an hour and a half on this oops

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charliejrogers · 4 years

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Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) - Review & Analysis

Here’s a non-controversial statement: 2017’s Wonder Woman is a legitimately great film (if you discount the last act’s boring battle). A fun, yet emotional anti-war tale with a great period aesthetic. What elevated it from greatness was its starkly bleak reveal that Ares does not start man’s wars, but he merely gives humans ideas for how to instigate them. Ultimately, it is Man who holds responsibility for our own destruction, and despite this Wonder Woman still chooses to help us poor creatures. Cool themes, cool hero, cool movie.

Wonder Woman 1984 shares the main character from its 2017 forerunner, as well as its dedication to recreating a particular period aesthetic (here the 1980s), but the brilliant writing from the first film is gone. The main themes are essentially… “be careful what you wish for” and “winners never cheat; cheaters never win.” Not the most grand and interesting follow-up to the prior film’s genuine insight into human nature.

But that’s OK. I’m really not sure why this movie is getting so much flak online. If DC’s recent prior history with filmmaking should have taught us anything, it’s that 2017’s Wonder Woman was a fluke. Remember that this is the same studio that brought us the outstanding climax to Batman vs. Superman where one grown man learns that another grown man’s mother is also named Martha. Oh, and did we all just forget that Justice League is one of the worst movies we have all collectively ever seen?

So let’s not be too hard on WW84 for not meeting the quality of 2017’s Wonder Woman. Few comic book movies can. In the more fair comparison to other movies in the DCEU, it sits below Shazam! and Aquaman, and just a smidge below Birds of Prey, but certainly above Suicide Squad, and then literally leaps and bounds over every other movie they’ve made.

Let’s start with the good. Honestly, despite my gripes about the themes of the movie not being very profound, I found the story to be interesting. The movie centers around Diana Prince (Gal Gadot in her role as an archaeologist for the Smithsonian and not as Wonder Woman) stumbling upon an ancient stone whose inscription invites people who hold the stone to make a wish. No one takes it really seriously at first, so two people make wishes without thinking they could come true. The first person is Diana herself who wishes to bring her boyfriend (whom she only knew for about a week, mind you) from the dead. As a reminder from the first film, her boyfriend Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) had died nearly 70 years prior to the start of this film in a dramatic, sacrificial, world-saving act. Apparently, Diana hasn’t moved on at all from the 1910s and still considers her short-time lover to be her forever lover. She’s not really a human and did not grow up a human, so I think we can forgive her for not moving on… but it is weird to imagine that Diana somehow works at the Smithsonian (without going to college? Or did she?) without developing any friends or interest in life. Wouldn’t she have moved on... like a little bit?

Anyways, she wants her boyfriend back, and that’s wish #1. Wish #2 comes from new character Barbara Minerva (Kristen Wiig… who I am shocked to find is 47 years old! She looks fantastic and far younger in this film). Were Barbara a man, the way she is treated by her colleagues would put them in the stereotypical role of a future school shooter. Barbara is a brilliant gemologist for the Smithsonian, but goes completely unrecognized for her brilliance. She is shy and unconfident, and subsequently people frequently forget that they have even met her. Add on to that the fact that she has to work in the same office as Wonder Woman, and her loneliness and subjective feelings of unattractiveness increase as male employees drool over Diana while they ignore and mock Barbara. Therefore, we would forgive her for having a chip on her shoulder. Yet, for all this, Wiig avoids playing her as an angry, emo goth. Barbara kinda has this air about her of “Well, this is just how life is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.” Given the character’s lack of self-confidence and lack of social grace, it at times seemed like Wiig was just reprising her old SNL character, Penelope, the socially awkward one-upper. But that’s not fair to her character. Wiig portrays Barbara with an earnest goodness to her. She’s one of those people who when allowed to talk one-on-one proves to be more eloquent and interesting than you could have imagine. Far from being angrily envious of Diana’s confidence and beauty, she’s more sadly jealous. Naturally, then, she wishes on the stone to be more like Diana… unaware that this wish might have some unintended benefits.

But then, there’s a third key character to the film (and a third wishmaker), the main villain Maxwell Lord (Pedro Pascal). I cannot tell you if this was a good character or not… and I cannot tell you whether the imperfections of the character are more due to the film’s writing or Pascal’s performance. Lord is another loser, and like Barbara, his “loser” status is the result of being a victim of America’s prejudicial attitudes. But whereas Barbara fell victim to sexism, Lord falls victim to racism. Hispanic in origin, Lord grew up in America with an abusive father at home and racist classmates at school. Beaten down from an early age, all he wants in life is to make a name for himself, to prove he’s not a loser. In a clever twist, Lord (the person who originally ordered the wish stone to come to America before it was confiscated by the FBI and sent to the Smithsonian for analysis) does not simply use the stone to wish for riches and power… he wishes to BECOME the stone. That way, he can get nearly infinite wishes so long as he can con the people around him to wish things for him.

The scenes of Max Lord as a flawed human who just wants to not be a loser show Pascal giving a great performance as a human being at the ends of desperation. The scenes of Max Lord the supervillain are… not good. In a long string of over-the-top, eccentric, hyperconfident supervillains in countless superhero movies, Pascal’s Lord is just not interesting. In fact, he is literally a weak character. He cannot fight for himself as his body is crumbling (a side effect of wishing to become a stone). Furthermore, his initially grounded motivations to finally be respected and successful seem to be just utterly lost by the end of the film when he just wishes for world chaos… only then to turn around and declare undying love for his son. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Failure to understand a character’s motivations casts a shadow over Barbara’s character arc as well. It is explained that the wish stone takes something in return for granting someone their wish. So as payment for bringing Steve Trevor back to life, Diana loses some of her strength. Still… this strains to fully explain why Barbara, after gaining Wonder Woman-like strength, turns into a walking humanoid cheetah (complete with bad CGI like she walked straight out of the cast of 2019’s Cats.) Like I get that she lost some of her humanity and morality in exchange for strength… but Cheetah girl seems like a little much. And though initially it is fun to see Wiig get to play Barbara as a confident and sexy woman who fights back against the patriarchy, the movie (I think) unfairly pushes her into the villain role. In my opinion, she should be treated as a tragic character, something akin to a Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, as her villainous tendencies are not really her fault. She literally had the part of her that cares about other humans taken away from her when she naively and innocently wished to be like Diana. Instead, the movie has Diana lecture her that she shouldn’t be so evil. She literally can’t, lady! Stop being so hard on her! In any case, it seems like a failed opportunity to generate sympathy for a genuinely likable character who tragically becomes a villain not through her own accord.

That failure to create genuine emotions extends to Diana’s story as well. As soon as Steve is resurrected, you know by the movie’s end he will be dead again. There’s no other way this movie ends. Yet, the fact that Diana is so stubborn in refusing to give up Steve makes it hard to sympathize with her. She is simply being selfish, making her eventual decision to say goodbye to Steve feel more like her finally doing the right (and obvious) thing, and not some heartbreaking decision. Also the fact that seemingly Diana hasn’t even tried to move on in the last seventy years doesn’t help matters for me: it more just feels like a lazy way to write in Chris Pine’s popular character into the second movie. The move certainly weakens the idea of Diana as a strong, independent woman by making her emotionally stunted and crippled for the last 70 years. It would have been a much more satisfying (and daring) choice if Diana had moved on from Steve emotionally and had to deal with the guilt of having brought him back by accident, particularly if he didn’t want to go back to being dead. Instead... Steve knows he has to go back and Diana feels no guilt keeping him around. It’s weak character writing.

These poor choices I contrast with two of my favorite TV shows that demonstrate perfectly how former lovers who miraculously reunite eventually have to say goodbye for good: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jane the Virgin. For risk of spoilers to those still watching Jane, I’ll stick to the Buffy example. There’s an episode of Buffy (though technically an episode of the spin-off show Angel) where Buffy and her vampire lover Angel are fresh off their recent and tumultuous break-up, but through some dark magic that neither seeks out, they are given the opportunity to live a life where Angel isn’t actually a vampire and their love can be fully expressed. Yet, in the end, Angel opts to give up his life as a human and return to being a vampire. The choice is so moving precisely because (due to circumstances I cannot begin to explain) in choosing to give up his life with Buffy, he saves her life as well. Whereas in this movie, Diana choosing to let Steve go is really just her choosing to undo her choice to essentially cheat death. Angel, however, is actively choosing to give up a life of happiness he never wished for but was just given on a silver platter, and will now live in a world where his lover will never know his selfless act and will go on hating him. It’s heartbreaking in a way Wonder Woman dreams it could be.

And not to get too Buffy-heavy… but that show also deals with the emotional consequences of being ripped out of the afterlife much better than this movie. Steve just kinda unrealistically adapts to being alive again in all of five minutes. If, perhaps, from the start he questioned why he was there and hinted to Diana that something was wrong, the emotional aspect of this story, the doomed nature, the feeling of “this is the last chance we’ll have together” could have made this a stronger movie. I wanted to find myself crying when Diana finally says bye to Steve, and I was no where close to that. Gal Gadot shares at least part of the blame. She’s a pretty wooden actress. It’s something I noticed in 2017’s Wonder Woman, but in that movie she was supposed to be a fish out of water so her stilted presence seemed appropriate. Here, where she’s supposedly become an assimilated American for 70 years… it is just bad acting.

Anyways, another aspect of this film that was lacking were the visuals. The bad CGI of Barbara as Cheetah is just scratching the surface here. The opening flashback to Diana as a girl performing in the Amazonian Olympics just… looks fake. I don’t know. The reliance on CGI over practical effects is clear and distracting. It’s only worse in the subsequent scene where Wonder Woman stops a theft from occurring in a mall. The effects are just bad. Like passable for a film in the 1990s or early 2000s. But for a 2020 blockbuster, it’s noticeably bad. And already the scene where Wonder Woman is running towards the camera with a weird green screen behind her seems to have become a meme given just how weird it looks.

And yet, for all the negatives I’ve listed, this is a decent action flick. There’s even some nice set pieces like the one in the White House. As little as I liked Max Lord as a supervillain, I found figuring out the other half of each of his various Monkey Paw wishes (i.e. the downside of each wish) to be clever. unfortunately, each of the main three characters fails to have a story line that takes full advantage of their emotional potential, or they are just poorly acted. With few exceptions, the film eschews “fun” in favor of “seriousness.” Really the only exception is, as in the first film, the chemistry between Pine and Gadot. Their chemistry makes for some of the movie’s best moments, like when Wonder Woman makes the plane they’re flying in invisible and the pair flies over fireworks on the fourth of July. But that sense of whimsy in their scenes is largely absent from the rest of the film. This is particularly true of the action sequences, especially those at the climax. The seriousness makes them rather boring. Really, I’m comparing these action scenes with the last half hour or so of Birds of Prey which really set the bar for superhero movie fight choreography. So in the end, it’s overall an OK movie. It certainly isn’t as bad as others make it out to be, but I cannot believe I’m saying this… in 2020 if you’re in the mood for a fun superhero movie, you’re better off with the Suicide Squad sequel than the Wonder Woman sequel.

**/ (Two and a half stars out of 4)

#wonder woman #ww84 #wonder woman 1984 #gal gadot #patty jenkins #chris pine #kristen wiig #pedro pascal

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k7l4d4 · 3 years

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Owl House AU Ideas, ZA FIFTH!!

Hello all, once again, I am BACK with an AU! It is a crossover with the popular superhero franchise, DC COMICS BABY!! WOOT! Specifically, this is a crossover between Earth 16, setting for the Young Justice Comics and Show, and The Owl House setting in the form of the newly formed Earth 53! Give ‘em some love folks, round of applause! Sorry if I’m hamming it up too much, just feeling really amped.

The premise is partially inspired by a crossfic over on ao3, can't really recall the name right now, that involves the Anti-Monitor's Anti-Matter wave occurring; The Owl House-Verse gets wiped out and subsequently resurrected as part of the DC Multiverse, with Amity somewhere in the mix due to being taken off the board just before her world is destroyed. In this idea, something occurs that results in the Boiling Isles and its connected Earth to be merged into the DC Multiverse; the shockwaves result in mass alterations to the two world's shared history as the Boiling Isles and Human Realm become the new Earth 53 (I know that the DC-Verse isn't restricted to just 52 worlds anymore, the name is mostly for dramatic effect). The biggest difference between this and similar premises is the idea of Earth 53 coming from OUTSIDE the Source Wall, an extreme anomaly in the DC-Verse Space-Time Continuum, if not an outright impossibility, that has resulted in "Errors" forming across the worlds. Amity is the one of the only ones who clearly remembers life before the merger, and the changes, both to the world and to herself, have been jarring. She who was once the heiress-apparent to a magical household of considerable influence was now the marginalized third child to two of the meanest lawyers in Bonesburough, friendless and adrift. In a world where humans, witches, and demons live alongside one another, and magic is a rare commodity hoarded by major cities and governments, where is her place in it all? And, more importantly, where is Luz?!?

Boscha: Unlike her canon self, DC Boscha is a tough girl who grew up on the streets, fending for herself at nearly every turn; she was eventually taken in by the Park family, one of Bonesborough's most well-known, if not necessarily influential, families, growing close to the daughter of the family, Willow Park. Boscha often acts as Willow's bodyguard and confidant, providing both protection from anyone trying to harass her, and a shoulder to lean on when she needs it. She has a small crush on Willow, but hasn't realized it for what it is yet. Boscha is a conduit for the Strength Force, granting her immense physical strength, durability, and geokinesis. Despite her immense power, Boscha is largely unskilled with her abilities, often being limited to the most basic interpretations of her powers. Willow: This version of Willow grew up as part of the lower Upper-Class, straddling the border between the Middle-Class and High-Society circles, gaining renown for her skill with plants and vegetation in general. While just as kind as her Canon self, DC Willow is somewhat jaded, often having difficulty opening up to others for fear that they are trying to get something from her or manipulate her. Willow suffers from a mild form of Narcolepsy, falling asleep when sufficiently stressed. Willow has a strong connection to the Green, gifting her with a powerful bond with all plant life; unlike other Conduits and Avatars for the Green, Willow refuses to fully connect with it, channeling her nature as animal, and as such of the Red, to retain her self. This unique state of being both apart of yet separate from the Green offers Willow a few abilities that other, similar, existences lack, with her greatest ability being the power to forcibly merge an enemy with the Green, essentially turning the Nature Dimension into a prison for them, though the technique is only fully effective against enemies who wield the Green themselves; non-Green Empowered individuals can only be held for around a month to up to a year before the Green rejects them and spits them out back in the Physical Plane, often sickly and in need of food and water, though not desperately so. An unusual quirk of Willow's is that she often adopts a demeanor similar to a religious figure, using formal speech and an extremely serene and calm demeanor; no one is sure, not even Willow herself, if it is an act or if she is genuinely being altered in some way by using her powers. Gus: Half-human, Half-witch, this interpretation of Gus often feels uncomfortable in his own skin. The only time Gus truly feels at ease is when he is immersed in water. At the age of Eight, Gus when swimming and nearly drowned, only surviving due to a sudden surge of the Life Force resonating through the world. As a result of his exposure to the Life Force, Gus possesses similar abilities to, yet still distinct from, those of Atlanteans. Gus cannot communicate with sea-life, but they are unusually docile in his presence, with even the most vicious of sea life being harmless to him. Gus can distort and manipulate the water in his body, and the water vapor in the nearby air, to create illusions and mirages. Gus tries to disguise his discomfort by hamming up his more excitable and comedic traits. Replacing his obsession with humans, this version of Gus is near obsessed with Magic, instantly going into Fanboy mode at the site of Amity's spells (note: Gus is capable of distinguishing magic from similar phenomena on his own, a holdover from his past self having magic, though his current self is unaware why he can do so). Skara: A popular girl, Skara sits at the front of the pack, yet also has a reputation of being kind and accepting; as she attends one of the most divisive schools in regards to Human-Witch-Demon relations in the world, this often results in her being forced to play mediator, much to her own distress. Skara can't stand seeing anyone upset or feeling left out, going out of her way to include others, even if it means she herself ends up left out. Skara is incredibly skilled at both Music and the Bow, serving as an expy of both Black Canary and Green Arrow, in that she wields a harp/bow combo capable of launching sound arrows. Skara is a nascent magic user, though her skills are highly unrefined and geared near-exclusively towards those based on sound. Edric and Emira: The twins are a study in contrasts as opposed to their canon similarities. While they still possess their sense of mischief, Edric has been groomed to be a respectable gentleman, at least in terms of appearance, while Emira is essentially an out and about rebel, bucking authority and rules at every opportunity. Edric thinks of himself as suave and charming, but to most everyone it just comes across as adorable and childish; a little kid thinking he's an adult. Emira is confrontational, aggressive, and possesses a reputation for being a punk, though she often takes a stand against bullies and thugs. The two often argue, but both fondly remember the days when they were more similar and got along more. The two share Speed Force powers, Negative for Edric, Positive for Emira, yet neither is compatible with their respective bodies, as Emira is more attuned with the Negative and Edrice with the Positive. To counteract the damage their abilities do to their bodies, they channel each others' Speed Force for their sibling; a side-effect of this sharing is that they cannot utilize the super-speed common to all Speed Force Conduits unless they work in perfect sync, but otherwise possess all the standard abilities of their respective forces. Jerbo: The quirky child of the local funeral director, Jerbo is highly skittish, often jumping at random and having a meek personality, he is slow to trust others. Jerbo has always possessed a fascination with the intricacies of life, death, and the cycle between them. This fascination ultimately culminated in him developing a connection to the Green! However, an accident disrupted the process, causing his connection to degrade and allowing a connection to the Grey and the Rot to enter in its place. None of his connections are particularly strong, but using them in concert allows him to leverage powers and abilities far above his technical weight class. He often uses his powers to necromantically command plants and bacteria, building intricate "Rot Golems" to fight with, in a manner similar to his Canon Plant Golems. In addition, Jerbo often uses his Rot powers to accelerate and regulate the decay of already dead plants and animals to create fertilizer and revitalize the environment. Viney: An adventurous free spirit, Viney has a genuinely compassionate soul, going out of her way to help out however she can. Viney has a deep sense of empathy, particularly for animals, serving as a first look for local pets before their owners decide to take them to the vet or not. Viney cannot stand animal abuse in any form, often protesting groups that have shown histories of shady animal practices whenever she can. Viney wields a connection to the Red, which she leverages in a manner similar to the powers of B'wanna Beast, as well as healing. Viney often serves as the team's emergency medic, as she lacks her canon-self's medical training. Barkus: An actual dog as opposed to his Dog-Witch Canon self, Barkus never the less can communicate with others. Barkus wields a connection to the Sage Force, granting him far higher levels of intellect compared to other animals and the ability to speak. Barkus possesses numerous mental abilities, including fortune telling, telepathy, and a mild-level of mind-reading. Barkus has a cool head, often serving as the voice of reason for the others, as well as an extra set of eyes and ears, as his nature means few people expect him to be a spy. Eda Clawthorne: Suffering from a weakened immune system and chronic pain, most people are often surprised by how spry and active Eda is. Eda possesses a genius-level intellect, often providing intelligence and resources for the team as well as a mentorship role. Eda enters the field as the "Knight Owl" (Not to be confused with Nite Owl), operating a highly sophisticated battle suit outfitted with a mix of advanced technology and magic to possess an answer to virtually any scenario. While adopted a cold, highly-serious persona when in the field, Eda's real personality isn't all that different from her Canon self, albeit more responsible and less criminally inclined. Eda often spends her time either monitoring the companies she owns portions of or searching for Lilith, who has been missing for several years in the new timeline generated by the shift into the DC Verse. Eda isn't a straight-lace though, she does have numerous connections and contacts in the underworld, she just isn't a flat-out criminal-hermit anymore. King: Not much different from his Canon self, merely lacking his delusions of grandeur and megalomania, he is often grumpy and sullen, prone to the occasional fit of rage over being treated childishly or being babied. He possesses incredibly potent magic, often being in charge of upgrading and repairing the team's gear that requires it, yet lacks the stamina and technique needed to use it in combat. Lilith Clawthorne: Fully remembering the prior timeline, awakening years before Amity, the shame and guilt over her past mistakes drew to her an Ultraviolet Ring, transforming her into the Ultraviolet Lantern of Sector 2814. Lilith's stalwart will allows her to dominate the ring, often bringing her into fellow members of her Corps who have been subsumed by Umbrax, Lilith has dedicated herself to using her shame over her past as fuel for her desire to aid others and protect them from the self-destructive darkness inside of everyone, often acting both as a fighter against evil, but also as a councilor to those she encounters on her journey who are suffering from their self-destructive impulses. When on duty, Lilith manipulates her uniform to disguise her appearance and voice, preventing others from identifying her true identity. Lilith constantly strives to better the lives of others, both as way to make up her past deeds, but also to ensure none feel the suffering she felt in her selfish foolishness.

This is to explain how Luz fits into the story beyond being a Maguffin to drive the plot. Also, because I don't want to drag it out any further and to cut off as many questions and clarifications on world-building ahead of time as I can... I have decided that, while still connected to the wider DC Multi-Verse, this particular idea is set on Earth-16, the earth of the Young Justice show and comic, and the newly formed Earth-53 of the merged Human and Demon Realms. At the time of the shift into the DC-Verse, Luz had been attempting an experimental spell that combined all of her, Eda, and Lilith's knowledge of Magic in order to see if they could fashion a new portal, or, if that proved impossible at the time, use the data to help further develop a cure for the Clawthorne sisters. Whether the spell worked, or did anything really, is unknown, but the reaction of the world shifting caused Luz to be flung across the Verses and Earths of the 52, before she ended up in the care of none other than Klarion the Witch Boy, specifically his fully villainous incarnation from Young Justice. Needless to say, due to Luz's connection, however faint, to the Titan, as well as her unusual magic, Klarion decided to see what fun he could have with her (not in a sexual way, just to clarify to anyone even accidentally thinking about it). This version of Klarion is a full-on Lord of Chaos, and a particularly malevolent one at that, with a wide variety of mystical relics at his disposal for his games and experiments, and just before finding Luz, he came across the most interesting toy of all, a staff that fuses magic and technology, something rarely attempted and often backfired, but he had found one that worked! Luz was not in good shape when Klarion found her, her body and mind damaged by the journey, her very soul mangled. Deciding to pretend to be a nice guy, Klarion used his resources to heal her, but what fun would it be to just up and fix the girl, hmm? Taking inspiration from the staff he had so recently found, Klarion set out to find relics and devices of magic and science both to repair Luz, just to see what mixing them all together would do, and it wasn't like he cared if she died if something went wrong! Low and behold, he managed to find a fragment of the Black Lantern-Corrupted Firestorm Matrix that composed Deathstorm, and a tiny piece of the divine lightning that granted Black Adam, and it WAS the lightning of Adam as opposed to Captain Marvel, and using these pieces, along with some chaos assisted spells for flavor, he worked his magic, pardon the pun. Now, before anyone says anything about these powers making Luz OP... they really won't. She only has a fragment of the Firestorm Matrix, a corrupted one at that, so she has none of the proper abilities of a Firestorm, nor does she possess the abilities of Black Adam, as awesome as that would be. Rather, the mixing of these forces, along with her magic, resulted in the formation of Catalyst, a psionic spirit born of her own mind. Catalyst is largely elemental in nature, lacking the mentality of a human, or any mortal being for that matter, content to sit in the back of Luz's mind, only emerging when something truly dire acts against Luz, as well as passively blocking any and all mental attacks against her. The part about only emerging against dire acts is rather literal, Catalyst will only intervene if Luz is close to death or about to suffer a fatal blow, and she lacks any ability to distinguish friend from foe, preferring to wipe out anything and everything in range to ensure Luz and her's safety. A benefit to the changes induced by Klarion's manipulations is that some of Luz's innate biological potential has been unlocked, but only a little. Luz absorbs information insanely fast, capable of memorizing a 1000 page document in its entirety on a single read through, and her muscle memory develops abnormally fast, making combat training very effective for her, though training is far from mastery, as she doesn't automatically gain the experience needed to make full use of any skills she may acquire. Luz is now naturally drawn to imitation, subconsciously copying Batman and Robin's walking style to minimize noise on instinct alone. Luz does gain some benefit to the Matrix merged with her body, along with the lightning, as her body now naturally acts as a conduit for divine and mystical forces; spells and divinity naturally flow in and out of her without effect, though the magic of Chaos and Order can easily disable her, particularly that of Klarion and Doctor Fate. For offense, Luz can cannibalize her internal energy stores to manipulate as light, electricity, and flames, though not all at once, and she currently doesn't remember how to eat, as the Matrix breaks down anything she can recognize as food and converts it directly into the nutrients, vitamins, and biological materials she needs to live, though she still needs to drink like normal. Luz possesses genuinely inhuman reflexes and mental processing, as she can easily track and process Kid Flash's movements, though anything faster than him gives her a massive migraine to watch. Luz has a limited ability to adjust her body, capable of making herself very fast at the expense of being more fragile, or very strong and durable yet incredibly heavy and slow. Luz suffers severe amnesia, though her personality is basically identical to how she was previously, merely missing the experience and social knowledge to reign in her most dangerous impulses, which she couldn't do very well to begin with, let's be honest, and cannot recall anything other than the fact that she is fluent in both English and Spanish, loves a series of books called the Good Witch Azura, and the names of her friends, though not how she knows them or that they are her friends (I think it is telling that she remembers the people she cares about more than she remembers herself). After Klarion healed her, he promptly dumped her back on earth to fend for herself; after regaining consciousness, Luz basically ambled around acting on whatever impulse struck her, no matter how insane, random, or dangerous, with her antics, combined with her inability to stop herself from using her powers, catching the eye of Cadmus, who promptly took her captive and stuck her in the sub-levels with Superboy. Something of importance to note, the Matrix that is currently helping hold her body together is tainted by the power of Necrom and his perversion of death; as it stands, every time Luz uses her powers and abilities in anyway other than to "eat" she shortens her lifespan, with the rate gradually, almost minutely, but inevitably speeding up. If the problem, and by extension a solution, isn't discovered soon, Luz will die, and her corpse will become an out-of-control vessel of extinction. In part due to the alterations made to her being, Luz views Superboy in a manner similar to a brother, and often tries to run interference between him and Superman to ease the tension and help them get along. Luz's attire upon awaking is composed of a skin-tight, black, sleeveless bodysuit with three silver lines running across it in a manner similarly to an atom model, centering on an orb affixed just above her right breast, emblazoned with a silvery-blue version of her light glyph, not that she currently recognizes it. Luz can disengage her Matrix, which disappears in a crackle of mystic lightning, and return to her civilian state by concentrating hard enough, doing it by accident after being released from Cadmus along with Superboy by the Team and the Justice League; the bad part was that she didn't have any clothes on after dismissing the Matrix, as Klarion didn't particularly care if she was clothed or not after he was done repairing her. Her codename, until she can recall her real name, is Thunderstorm!

Luz originally doesn’t quite remember how to use magic, but after waking up groggy and needing a light one morning, she, by pure accident, draws and casts one of her light glyphs off of pure muscle memory. Her reaction?

Luz: I can do magic? (Looks at the spell floating above her head) I CAN DO MAGIC!! (Cheers)

To explain, due to lacking the presence and power of the Titan, Luz’s spells are now cannibalizing her lifeforce for fuel, which vastly accelerates her life-drain. Of course, this is Luz, if she can use something to help her friends, even if it endangers her, she will, much to the concern of her friends and teammates. As Luz’s lifespan shrinks, she gradually experiences increasing symptoms of hunger, followed by occasional aches and pains that grow in frequency and intensity, before evolving to full-on fits of debilitating agony at its most advanced stages. Luz isn’t concerned about her condition, once she finds out about it that is. Why? Because she has faith that a solution can be found before she is ever in any real danger, and if not? She would gladly giver her life for her friends and the safety of the people... that’s just the kind of gal she is.

As always, feel free to ask questions, comment, or use the idea as you wish.

#the owl house #dcu #young justice #owl house au #luz noceda #amity blight #king the owl house #willow park #boscha #gus porter #eda clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #toh skara #firestorm matrix #shazam

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yeaahishowedupatyourparty · 4 years

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OOC POST: My muses in AGE ORDER and a quick description about their relationship status. Sometimes I find people really want to plot serious connections or there’s a muse looking for a solid relationship - which is totally cool! some of mine are too. But, it’ll also give you the heads up if you’re trying to plot something romantic/fwb with them because you’ll know where they are currently at.

ANASTASIA - 28, 19th April - Aries, hetero

CURRENT STATUS: Taken, Married to an NPC. Anastasia is married but resents her husband. They were the blue print for Disney and Brody, Kendall and Mason and the rest of the arranged - yet not quite as smooth - relationships from the Carmichael family. Being the golden child and favourite for both parents, she was mainly concerned with pleasing them which meant she was married by 19 and then had her first child - Darcy - at twenty. Now, she’s older and has established herself as a successful business woman, she’s starting to realise her husband isn’t for her. Don’t be fooled though; she keeps him around for his old money family and the security of Darcy and Belle, but her eye is absolutely wandering and if she finds someone who ticks all of the right boxes at St Judes, she’d be more than willing to have an affair and perhaps eventually divorce.

DISNEY - 25, 15th December - Sagittarius, hetero

CURRENT STATUS: Taken, Married to Brody. The chances of her straying away from Brody and VERY low. She’s probably the most fixed out of all of my characters. She’s been with him since the beginning of high school, even though obviously at 11, they weren’t very serious, but after 14 years with him, she’s starting to realise she wouldn’t really know what to do without him. With that being said, HAPPINESS is a completely different subject. She’s content and she knows she’s treated decently but the problems that riddle their relationships have definitely taken away the initial spark she felt. While she might flirt and entertain things with others, Fleur and Dixie are her absolute #1 and she’d never do anything to pull the ‘perfect family image’ away from them.

PARK - 25, 15th December - Sagittarius, hetero

CURRENT STATUS: It’s complicated, involved with Gisele. Park definitely has feelings for Gisele, that much is obvious, but he’s also not someone to settle down just because of what he feels. Also, he doesn’t want to necessarily ‘settle down’ - the idea scares him. Commitment-phobe might be a bit far because he has genuinely committed to girlfriend’s in the past, but it takes a lot of time for him to be ‘ready’. They’ve agreed to be ‘exclusive’ though, which basically boils down to them only sleeping with each other and while he definitely keeps his promise on that, it doesn’t mean that she’s the only one who has his attention. If there’s genuine chemistry with somebody else, he’d 100% get to know them and then do whatever felt right.

POSIE - 25, 5th August - Leo, bisexual

CURRENT STATUS: Single, not looking to settle. Posie is definitely just enjoying being young and seeing who’s out there. She’s not really looking for a partner and is definitely more excited about the prospect of becoming a big model than settling down and finding a boyfriend or girlfriend. Posie’s ideal “love life” is causal hook-ups and maybe the occasional fun date but with no strings attached. That’s not to say that she WON’T fall for someone. If she met somebody who matched her energy and wasn’t so quick to tie things down, she’d probably stick around a little more and the process would be gradual. She holds the firm belief that settling down in your twenties is the equivalent to living your forties twice. The prospect of being limited or having to always consider somebody else frightens her.

RUBY - 24, 23rd December - Capricorn, bisexual

CURRENT STATUS: Newly single, not looking. Ruby very freshly has just broken up with Rosalie and is heart-broken about it. It’s in her nature to try and push through things and really focus on the positives like her work, friendships and family but she’s finding it painfully hard. Rosalie wasn’t just her girlfriend, but also her best friend. At this point in time, she really doesn’t appreciate anybody who tries to flirt or make her move on etc. In general, she’s been struggling with her self-esteem throughout the majority of her relationship. Rosalie was often disheartened by how successful Ruby’s career was, but Ruby always felt inferior and overlooked when it came to physical appearance. Being petite and lacking any of the popular/desired hour-glass features, she doesn’t think highly of how she looks at all and this definitely is making her stray away from being flirtatious or confident at the moment.

ALYSSA - 24, 17th June - Gemini, bisexual

CURRENT STATUS: Single, seeing what happens/open.

Alyssa is open to getting into a relationship but a lot like Posie, it isn’t her priority right now. She’s focused on her career and having fun but she isn’t actively resisting it either. She’s very go-with-the-flow in general and doesn’t put any pressure on herself to be settled down. I feel like she ideal situation(s) at the moment would definitely be more of an open situation, maybe one or two people she’s seeing and talking to before she gets deeper with anything. In terms of fwb, she’s definitely always open to that and is happy with one night stands.

ADRIAN - 23, 12th August - Leo, heterosexual

CURRENT STATUS: Taken/It’s complicated, with Holly.

Adrian has been in a long-term relationship with Holly for a while now and is very obviously in love with her. At the moment, they’re technically broken up but not really. He loves her and knows they’ll get back together - even if they don’t, that wouldn’t mean he’s anywhere near ready to move on. I wouldn’t say their relationship is as fixed as Brody and Disney but it’d take something drastic for him to even be remotely interested in anybody else at this point. And then even if he was, and he fell out of love with Holly properly, Haley would be his #1 consideration and there definitely wouldn’t be a girl who’s a bigger priority.

DREW - 23, 3rd July - Cancer, bisexual

CURRENT STATUS: Taken, dating Annabel.

Drew is easily my most committed/settled guy right now. I can’t even think of much to write because he genuinely only has eyes for Annabel right now. If that changed or if they broke up, he’d probably still be more focused on trying to get her back so, yeah. In terms of fwb/relationship plots, he’s really not interested. He’s happy with her and loves her a lot.

LOUIS - 22, 5th January - Capricorn, heterosexual

CURRENT STATUS: taken, dating Lexi.

Lexi and Louis have definitely had a complicated relationship. Sometimes they’re super into each other and other times they’re distant. I don’t think it helps that Louis isn’t the commitment type in general and finds it very hard to be consistent with being romantic/very involved in the relationship. That being said, he only wants her and while, again, he’s reasonably young and definitely gets his ego inflated when people flirt with him - he feels like Lexi is the one right now & isn’t interested in anybody else in the same way.

JANEY - 21, 2nd May - Taurus, heterosexual

CURRENT STATUS: Taken, dating Wes. Janey is dating Wes and is fully in love with him. After being involved in trafficking and finding her way back to the Springs by chance, he’s been her safe place for almost two years and he’s very patient and understanding with her. It’s only now in recent times, where she’s constantly being reminded by different people of how much fun he used to have with Riley, she’s starting to feel self-conscious or like a burden to him. Even with her insecurities, her mind doesn’t even think about going to anybody else. She feels like she’s constantly ready for him to finally realise that she takes a lot more effort than she’s worth, but even if they broke up, she’s too introverted to become involved with anybody else unless they were willing to pursue/be patient with her. It’s just who she is.

SORAYA - 20, 11th June - Gemini, pansexual

CURRENT STATUS: Taken, Engaged to Julian Soraya is a romantic and a big believer in fairy-tales by nature, whether she’s taken or single. However, this year and last I think real life got a little bit TOO real when she realised being engaged wasn’t as easy as being whisked away, having a beautiful wedding and living happily ever after. She’s one thousand percent in love with Julian and wants to be with him but I think, if she’s being honest, she’s struggling with how she wants to be with him. She just knows she does. As much as people hate to hear it, Dallas also plays a big part in her love life even today. She knows he loves her still and she will always have love for him, even though she has tried to push back from that in the past. I think their connection definitely cripples her in terms of moving forwards properly. It’s not a romantic love for her anymore but it’s definitely a significant connection.

ZARA - 20, 13th December - Sagittarius, bisexual

CURRENT STATUS: Taken, dating Danny.

Zara definitely gives as good as she gets when it comes to relationships and I think people often make the mistake of thinking that she’s one of the more softer/weaker girls. Take Cameron and Danny; she genuinely didn’t mean to come in between them but she did like Danny and made no secret in that before they got together. She’s both happy and stable with Danny right now and feels settled in her relationship. Like with most of my characters with the exception of maybe one or two, her relationship isn’t completely fixed but she’s definitely not looking at anybody else.

IMOGEN - 19, 24th October - Scorpio, bisexual

CURRENT STATUS: Single, messing with Nate, open to everything.

Imogen is the ultimate game player when it comes to dating. She always finds herself going back to Nate because they’re kind of each other’s first real loves, but she enjoys getting attention and playing the field. She knows people criticise and look down on her for it but she really doesn’t give a fuck. She’s not ready for real commitment and won’t be for a long time; she’s content with being on-and-off with Nate and also casually dating around in the meantime. In terms of who she’s attracted to, she’ll give anybody a chance but if you’re too soppy, can’t keep up or try to tie her down too much, she’ll leave.

TANNER - 18, 5th March - Pisces, bisexual

CURRENT STATUS: Single, active nuisance, going with the flow. Tanner is VERY casual with relationships, probably more casual than Imogen. He’s really not superficial in terms of what people look like; he kind of sees the attractiveness in everybody and really doesn’t have a physical preference. However, if he feels like there’s people he can’t vibe with or anyone who is just too into themselves, he’ll back off :’) As most people know, he’s pretty confident and flirty and makes the first move but being only 18, he’s also pretty immature with it all. He tends to get involved in things that should probably be left. He might have a little bit TOO much self-confidence but he genuinely does have respect for others and is never pushy or too excessive.

FLORENCE 18, 20th August - Virgo, hetero

CURRENT STATUS: Taken, Married to Dom. Florence is only young and definitely naive but she’s super in love with Dom and is happy in her marriage. She definitely wouldn’t think about cheating or wandering while with him & is probably a little more reliant on him to think for her/make decisions than she shouldn’t be. Not through him being a toxic person, but through her just being that way in general. However, recently she was made aware of a conversation between Dom and Margo that has definitely wrecked her trust a bit. She still wouldn’t consider hurting him back or doing anything that meant she was ‘getting even’ but there’s a big part of her that’s now questioning whether it’s working.

JACK - 18, 18th November - Scorpio, hetero

CURRENT STATUS: Single/It’s complicated, involved with Evie Jack and Evie were dating for a while before St Judes and their relationship has always been on and off. They’re currently off, but they still flirt a lot. Overall though, Jack is definitely not ready to commit or settle down with anybody and just because Evie is the one he tends to gravitate towards, it doesn’t mean he’s against getting with anybody else. He’s just open to whatever happens and is happy to have fun.

CHARACTERS BY YEAR GROUP

FIRST YEARS

Jack

Florence

Tanner

Imogen

SECOND YEARS

Zara

Soraya

Janey

THIRD YEARS

Louis

Drew

Adrian

FOURTH YEARS

Alyssa

Ruby

Posie

Park

Disney

SIXTH YEARS

Anastasia

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mysterygirl51 · 5 years

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Jill Roord and Vivianne Miedema: best friends and teammates with a magical connection ♡

Part three of this interview with Vivianne Miedema and Jill Roord (translated from Dutch, you can find part one here and part two here)

Homesickness

VM: “My career in the national team has been a rollercoaster. Before we went to the World Cup in 2015, I had made 18 goals in 18 games. I was very young, but everyone expected that I would make The Netherlands the world champions. I had just finished my first season at Bayern and I had to train a lot more than I was used to, so I was very tired. I felt the pressure that I was the one who had to do it. When you’re 18, you don’t know how to handle that kind of pressure. In Canada [during the WWC 2015] I felt homesick for the first time.

JR: “Me too. We were far from home and the time difference with The Netherlands was big [6-9 hours]. I had just turned 17 and had joined the national team shortly before the tournament.The world cup was a nice experience, but also disappointing. I had hoped to make my debut, which didn’t happen.”

VM: “The atmosphere in the team wasn’t as good back then as it is now. We weren’t a real team. There were two groups of ‘oldies’ who had been through a lot together but who weren’t on the same page. We as youngsters were stuck between those two groups. That was on an emotional level pretty difficult. During the Euros in 2017 that was different. We made a fresh new start with a group of young girls. I was two years further in my development. Of course I felt a bit of pressure, but because of the experience in Canada I now knew how to handle it. I think I also showed that in the final games with some goals.”

JR: “Ahead of the euros I was close to a place in the starting 11, but I still ended up on the bench during the euros. I was the number 12, always the first sub. That was difficult. I really wanted to be important for the team but it just didn’t click. I didn’t complain. I’m not really good at that anyway. The eleven girls who were playing played so well, I wanted them to hold on to that feeling. I was genuinely happy with that title, only during the tournament there were definitely moments that I wasn’t happy.”

VM: “After the euros I had a lot of small injuries after one another and I missed quite a lot of games. I was very tired and needed a rest. I had played football non-stop for 6 years and had never really had a break during the summer. During that period I didn’t really manage to score for a while. All strikers go through that sometimes. It’s very frustrating when you can’t score during 4 consecutive games. It damages your self confidence a bit and can end up in sort of a syndrom [idk how to translate this sentence, sorry!]. In a situation like that you have to hope for a chance that’s unmissable or a lucky shot that goes in. When that happens, it’s a big relief. Suddenly the confidence is back and then it can go really well again.”

Tears

VM: “At the start of last season I was a lot more fit and fresh. At Arsenal it immediately felt right and I scored a lot of goals. Still in October I wasn’t allowed to start for the WC qualification play off games against Denmark, because I had a few small pains at the beginning of that week.”

JR: “It was fun to sit on the bench together for a change.”

VM: “As a team it was important to win from Denmark, but at the same time I was working on getting fit again. Back at Arsenal I showed that I was fit and that I was supposed to be playing at Oranje. A month later against Switserland, that happened.”

JR: “Because of Jackie Groenen’s injury I was allowed to start the second game against Switserland. It was a big game, we could qualify for the World Cup if we won this. I was really looking forward to playing. But when Anouk Dekker got a red card after 7 minutes of playing, I knew what was going to happen. You [viv] said to me that you were going to be taken off the pitch now. I said that she wasn’t going to be taken off, that I was. I was right. It felt really bad. In the changing rooms there were some tears. That always happens when I’m angry. Anouk felt really bad for me, but I told her she couldn’t help it. When we ran on the pitch after the final whistle, when we celebrated qualifiying for the World cup, I felt awkward. I was happy, but I also felt bad. Later that night I felt better again. I can switch quite easily, I don’t see the use of drowning in disappointment. No one gets something from that.”

VM: “After the play-offs I continued scoring with Arsenal. Last season I scored 22 goals in 20 games during the league, and there were some goals with those that I thought of: goals like that are never going to happen again. Apparently you kind of enforce luck like that. Besides winning the league I was named best [female] player in England. That was a really nice honor and appreciation, especially because I was chosen by people from the football business, so people who knew what they were doing. It was also nice that Virgil van Dijk won the [male] best player award. Two dutchies the best players in England, that might never happen again.”

Next generation

VM: “After we won the euros everyone at Oranje saw that this was the moment to take a step. Not only we as a team, but the whole female football has undergone a huge development. The only thing that was still behind was the money we got for it. With a few girls from the players association I negotiated about that with the KNVB [Dutch football association]. Lieke Martens and I spoke out on behalf of the group, we wanted the get the best possible for the team. For people on the outside it’s easy to think that that was only the opinion of Lieke and I, but it wasn’t like that. I didn’t really notice the criticsm in The Netherlands that came because of that, because I was in England. Look, here teams have to pay their players a minimal wage. Still, the differences [with men’s football] are immense. Mesut Özil earsn 350.000 euros a week. In our team no one makes that a year. We do train at the same training complex as the men and use the same facilities. That’s really great. I think that’s a nice development. We see the men daily and talk a bit. Petr Cezh is a real fan us ours.”

JR: “Just look at the followers on our social media and you can see how popular women’s football has become theses past years.”

VM: “In the past, we walked around with Van Persie or Huntelaar [dutch football players] jerseys. Now girls have Miedema or Roord on their jerseus. That’s the biggest step we made. It’s really nice that we are an example for so many girls. We know what we are fighting for. Not just for ourselves, but also for the next generation.”

JR: “And it’s not just girls. My little brother and his friends are also fans. They all think it’s really interesting.”

VM: “My little brother Lars plays with the ‘promises team’ of PEC Zwolle. When he plays, the first thing you hear in the stand is ‘Huh, isn’t Miedema a girl?’. He has to handle the pressure of being ‘the brother of...’. Apparently right now it’s not just interesting what for example Frenkie de Jong does, but also what we as internationals do.”

Strong connection

JR: “The loss in Norway which resulted in us having to play play-offs to qualify for the Worl Cup was good for us. It brought us back down to earth. For a long time everything happend almost on its own, and we had a lot of luck. Because of that loss we realized we really had to work for it again. The play-offs brought us closer together as a group.”

VM: “The world cup will be a very different tournament from the euros. We know that. It’s not realistic to say we’re big favourites. We just have to try to get in the same flow as during the euros. With my 22 years I’m technically a youngster, but I don’t feel that way. I’ve played almost 75 interlands and belong with the experienced girls. I can even become The Netherlands all time top scorer just before or during the World Cup. That’s really cool and an honor.”

JR: “We have already been through everything together, and I haven’t even played everything. Sometimes I talk with national team coach Sarina Wiegman about my role in the team, but that’s often the same conversation. It’s basically that I’m playing well, that I have to continue this way and that it’s just unlucky that there’s so much competition on the midfield.”

VM: “I want to play with Jill. She has the qualities to be one of the starting 11.”

JR: “I can’t do anything else besides showing my worth during practice and during the playing minutes I get. I’m only 22, I still have the time. But sometimes it is frustrating.”

VM: “For some people it’s sometimes hard to see that natural connection between us. When I’m in the same team as Jill during practice, we immediately feel that click. That means we can come across pretty strong together against coaches or teammates. They are afraid we exclude the others or they wonder why we have that click and other people don’t.”

JR: “I think they’re scared we have a negative influence, but that’s not based on anything. That connection we have is just there and will always be there.”

VM, laughing: “But nowadays we do do less hakkepak [a word in twents, the dialect from the region Jill is from, for jumping on someone’s back]. That wouldn’t be good for my back. Now we only do it when we score.”

#vivianne miedema #jill roord #arsenal wfc #nedwnt #interview #this literally took me an hour omg

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ilovemygaydad · 5 years

Text

title: super cool

pairings: roceit, analogical, qpr remy/remus

summary: roman, who is a giant nerd, is pining after the most popular guy at school.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, anger, frustration, crying, a couple of sexual jokes (skip the tiny scene that starts with remy speaking), sympathetic deceit, remus, threats (as jokes), self-deprecation, lying, meddling with relationships, shame, brief humiliation, embarrassment, the briefest food mention, slight misunderstandings, awkward conversations, and possibly something else

a/n: this was commissioned by the wonderful, lovely @adultmorelikeadolt who suggested that i write this after complaining about not having any ideas on what to write. this definitely has room for a second part, so... maybe i’ll write another? idk. maybe if i get an idea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also yes i know that there are a ridiculous amount of ace and aro people in this fic but guess what? idgaf!!!! ace!roman and aroace!pat, remus, and remy are all great and i’d be an idiot if i didn’t add them all in. not to mention a little bit of enby!logan!!!! i’m in love with them all so i get to make the rules

commission info (two slots for 50% off are still open!)

consider buying me a coffee

---

“Roman, stop being a fucking creep,” Virgil chided from his perch on Logan’s lap. He flicked an overcooked pea from his tray, which hit Roman square on the cheek.

“I am not being a creep,” Roman snapped, not taking his eyes off of the boy he was staring at. “I’m admiring.”

Logan quirked an eyebrow, shifting their gaze between Roman and the boy across the courtyard. “I’m almost certain that you’re being a creep.”

“You’re biased because you’re Virgil’s partner! That’s not fair at all,” Roman huffed. He turned to look at Patton. “I’m not being a creep, right?”

“Well...”

Roman gasped. He dramatically pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by all of my friends! I thought you cared about me, but I was horribly mistaken!”

“Maybe if you didn’t awkwardly stare at Damien during lunch, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Virgil suggested.

“Well, it’s not as if I could talk to him!” Damien Taylor was easily the most popular guy at Sanders High. There was no chance in hell that Roman Fairfield, resident history nerd and drama geek, could so much as stand within five feet of him, let alone strike up a conversation.

Patton rolled his eyes. “It isn’t illegal to talk to him, you know. Just compliment him on his dress or something.”

“It isn’t that easy,” Roman griped. Damien was just so cool. He was suave and charming and unbelievably handsome, and he wore whatever he wanted with the confidence of a million superstars, regardless of the style or if it showed off his vitiligo. Nearly every boy, girl, and nonbinary person either wanted to date him, be him, or befriend him. He was practically irresistible, and despite the attention that he was given, Damien preferred his small friend group of Remy Xander and Remus Adams. Roman was simply another admirer. He wasn’t anything special like Damien obviously wanted.

“Stop doing that,” Virgil said, tearing Roman from his thoughts.

“Stop what?”

“The whole brooding thing.” Virgil vaguely waved his hands around. “I can practically hear the self-hatred from here.”

“Oh, whatever, Danger Days,” Roman hissed. He crossed his arms and turned away, more upset than angry. There was a bit of shuffling behind him, and within a few moments, Virgil’s arms had wrapped around his middle in a comforting hug. His resolve quickly crumbled, and he leaned into his friend’s side.

“We love and support you always, Ro,” Virgil whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss on the top of Roman’s head. “You are incredible.”

---

Despite Virgil’s sweet words at lunch, Roman felt anything but incredible.

He had stayed after class for forty minutes to chat with his teacher, which was pretty standard, but when he’d tried to turn his car on afterward, the engine refused to turn on. He had half a mind to call one of his friends to drive him home, but Virgil and Logan had mentioned earlier that they were going on a date, and Patton’s sister would be less than pleased to have to turn around to pick up one of her brother’s “weird friends.” So Roman was stuck, and he felt pretty damn shitty about it.

“Stupid car,” he muttered as he kicked angrily at one of his tires. “Stupid old car that’s held together by duct tape and safety pins!”

“You look upset,” someone said behind him, and Roman whipped around to find Damien standing there with Remy and Remus a few feet behind him, holding hands.

Oh, shit.

“Um, yeah, I guess. My car broke down, and all of my friends have left already.” He awkwardly gestured at the mostly-empty parking lot.

“I can help.” Damien walked around to the front of the car, waving Remy to follow. Roman absolutely did not stare as Damien’s yellow dress swirled around his legs like liquid sunshine. “I’m good at finding the problem, and Remy is just fantastic at the actual fixing.”

“Oh, um, thank you.”

Remy slid his shades into his hair with a bored expression. “It’s no problem, doll. Can you pop the hood for me?”

Roman nodded and did as he was told. While Damien and Remy poked around the engine, he sat on the pavement beside his car to watch. Remus, who had been explicitly told by Remy to not touch anything, searched for bugs in the grassy area a few feet away, occasionally making random, lewd comments to his QPP. Remy would retaliate by rolling his eyes and giving Remus the finger, and Damien seemed completely unfazed by their antics.

“So good news,” Damien said fifteen minutes after they had started. “I figured out what’s wrong.”

“And?”

“I can’t fix it,” Remy answered. He spouted off a bit of technical nonsense about how something had broken and would need to be replaced, which Roman didn’t get at all except for the underlying message that his car was still fucked up, and he still didn’t have a way to get home.

“Shit, okay.” Roman rubbed at his eyes in frustration. If he hadn’t been in the company of the three most popular kids at school, he probably would have started crying right then and there. “Okay. Thanks for trying to help.”

He heard the hood slam closed, followed by the retreating voices of Remus and Remy, but he still didn’t move. Hot tears started to well up in his eyes, and he internally kicked himself for feeling so upset. It wasn’t even that big of a deal that his car had broken down, yet he was crying like a baby. He sniffled and scrubbed harshly at his eyes. Thank god that Damien and his group had left already.

His momentary thankfulness, however, was shattered as crunching footsteps approached him. His eyes snapped open, and Damien was standing above him with his hand outstretched. Roman was caught between feeling shameful and confused.

“What are you doing?” he asked dumbly.

Damien rolled his eyes. “Attempting to help you up.”

“Why...?”

“Do I seriously need a reason to lend you a hand?” Impatience was starting to grow in his mismatched eyes, and Roman reached up before Damien decided that it wasn’t worth his time.

“Sorry, I just thought that you’d left with your friends,” Roman said, shoving his hands into his pockets as soon as he was on his feet.

“No, they...” Damien trailed off, looking in the direction that Remus and Remy had gone. “They have plans.”

“Oh. Well, thanks again for trying to help.”

“It’s no problem.” Roman could have sworn that an uncomfortable expression flashed over Damien’s face for a split second, but he unfalteringly continued, “Would you like a ride home?”

Roman’s eyes widened in shock. Damien Taylor was offering to drive him home. “You don’t have to, really--”

“Let me rephrase that. Would it be okay if I took you home? I would rather you not be stuck here for god knows how long.”

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck--

“Uh, yeah, sure. That’s fine.”

“Great,” Damien said, smiling gently. “My car isn’t very far.”

“Cool...”

They were silent for the whole twenty second walk to Damien’s car, but once they were sat down, Damien spoke up. “Why didn’t you call your friends to get you? I don’t know much about them, but I feel like they would have been happy to help.” He put odd emphasis on the word “friends,” but Roman brushed it off.

“Patton gets a ride from his sister, and I didn’t want to make her turn around to pick me up. Plus, I think she ‘blames’ me for Patton being aroace since I came out as ace to him, which led to him learning about that whole spectrum in the first place, so she probably would’ve been unpleasant about driving me home. I probably could’ve asked Logan no problem, but they said they were going on a date with Virgil this afternoon. I didn’t want to bother them.”

“Why would you be bothering them?”

Roman burst out laughing, but after a few seconds of Damien not joining in, he stopped. Damien’s brow was furrowed, and Roman realized that he was serious. “What do you mean? It’s a date.”

“Yeah. Aren’t you dating Logan and Virgil?”

“Oh,” Roman exhaled. “No, I definitely am not.”

“Oh,” Damien parroted. A dark blush appeared on his cheeks in clear embarrassment.

“It’s easy to make that mistake, though,” Roman rushed in an attempt to dispel the awkward feeling in the car. “I mean, Virgil is a very touchy-feely kind of guy, and Logan is obviously dating Virgil, so... It’s not a complete stretch to assume that I was dating them.”

Damien nodded mechanically. “Right, well... Where do you live?”

Roman told him his address, and the entire ride there was silent.

---

“I really don’t know why you’re so upset about it,” Remy drawled. “He’s single. Didn’t you want that?”

“Yes, but I made a complete idiot out of myself!” Damien groaned, flopping onto Remy’s bed.

Remus sat down next to him with an evil smirk. “Dami, you shoulda seen the way he looked at you when you walked past him. It was like he just wanted to reach up your skirt and--”

“I suggest that you stop talking if you want your heart to continue to beat.”

“Kinky!”

Remy glared at Remus and said, “Seriously, though. The guy looked like he was about to faint when you offered to help. I’m no expert in romantic attraction, but I think he’s into you.”

“He was probably intimidated by me like everyone else at this stupid school is!” Damien rolled over and pressed his face into a pillow. “He’s just so fucking pretty.”

“Well,” Remus laughed. “At least now that you’ve seen his pretty face up close, you’ll have ‘shower-nozzle mastur--’”

“REMUS!”

“God, you’re such a buzzkill!”

---

Patton peeked around the corner of the hallway again. Damien was packing up his things, and neither Remy nor Remus were in sight, which was ideal for Patton’s plan. He waited until Damien pulled the zipper shut on his backpack to run over, using the acting skills that he had learned from Roman to look scared and upset.

“Damien, oh my goodness, I need your help!”

The boy in question looked up, surprised. “Uh, what’s wrong?”

“I was in a practice room, and a spider just came out from nowhere, and no one else is around, and I need you to get rid of it for me!” Patton rushed, clinging to Damien’s arm like it was a raft. In reality, the only thing in the practice room was Roman, who was under the assumption that Patton was going to show up to play piano for him, but what was a little bit of meddling between friends?

Okay, so maybe Patton felt bad for meddling with Roman’s love life, but Roman had called him up the night before fretting over “messing everything up,” which was just absurd in Patton’s opinion. He shared a class with Damien, and the amount of times he’d caught glimpses of the popular boy doodling Roman’s name in his notebook was honestly bordering on an absurd number. Patton had two pining idiots on his hands, so since neither of them were going to make a move, Patton was simply going to... nudge them in the right direction.

“Oh, um, okay,” Damien said.

“Thank you so much!” Patton began to drag Damien to the practice room, talking the whole way there so he wouldn’t ask any questions. “It was so scary! I was just playing the piano, and this huge black spider started crawling on the top end keys! It just showed up out of nowhere like the big, scary, creepy-crawly death-dealer that it is! I’m so glad that you’re willing to help me, Damien. All of my stuff is in there--oh my gosh! What if it’s in my bag? That would be dreadful! Oh, here we are!”

They stood in front of the plain wooden door of the practice room. Patton grabbed Damien by the shoulders and gave him the most serious expression that he could muster. “Damien, I wish you the best of luck in your task. However, if you are taken by the spider, I will not help you.”

“O-okay...?”

“Great! Thanks again!” Patton chirped as he flung the door open, pushed Damien inside, and pulled it shut again. He took out the keys that he had borrowed from the band teacher and locked the door, silently hoping that Roman would forgive him after everything.

---

Roman looked up, shocked to see Damien stumble through the door of the practice room, who looked equally surprised to see him. “Um, hello?”

“Hi.”

“Why are you in here?”

Damien awkwardly looked back to the door. “Uh, your friend Patton told me that there was a spider that he needed me to kill in here.”

“He must have been mistaken. I’ve been in here since school let out, and he told me he was running late to meet here--” Roman cut himself off in realization. Oh, that son of a bitch! “Patton lied.”

“What?”

Roman stood from the piano bench, striding to the door. He tried the knob, and like he had suspected, it didn’t budge. “He tricked us into the practice room!” He kicked the door in frustration.

Damien looked very confused and alarmed. “Why would he do that?”

“Because I have a crush on you, and that bastard is trying to get me to confess--” He clamped his hand over his mouth in horror as he realized what he was saying. To escape the disapproving glare that Damien was bound to give him, Roman turned away, hugging his arms round his waist. He could feel heat pricking at the corners of his eyes in the tell-tale sign that he was ready to bawl his eyes out. It would be super cool of him to cry in front of Damien twice. Not weird at all.

“You... have a crush on me?”

“Don’t,” Roman choked out. “Just forget I said anything.”

Damien shifted around behind him, and a hand gently landed on his shoulder. “Roman, will you please look at me?”

Slowly, he turned his head to look at the other boy, painfully aware of the redness of his eyes and nose and cheeks. There was a softness in Damien’s gaze, and Roman was only able to keep his mouth pressed into a firm line for the few moments that led up to Damien’s hand moving to cup his face.

“I, um... I actually have a crush on you, too.”

Roman felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs. “Really?”

“Yeah. I really, really do.”

They smiled at each other for a few moments when the lock on the door clicked. Roman took Damien’s hand that wasn’t on his face and said, “How about we get out of here and talk about things over coffee?”

Damien grinned. “I think that sounds great.”

#sanders sides fic #roceit #analogical #qpr remy/remus #m writes things #roman sanders #ts deceit #sympathetic deceit #virgil sanders #patton sanders #ts remus #logan sanders

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runearcana · 4 years

Text

Reasons I am Terezi:

My soon to be deadname sounds like Terezi.

I have an absurdly long tongue.

I look and dress like Terezi. [my hair ends up short, and when I straighten it, it always has a curve at the ends like hers. Ive always thought I look like a female version of Karkat and even tried to be more like him.] I primarily wear black t-shirts with nerdy images.

I love mysteries, solving them, and have a knack for knowing the law on an intuitive level.

I had a best fuckin friend forever that I did everything with. We called ourselves the Greythorne Sisters. I was Wither and she was Malice. [telling much?]

When I broke up with her, I.. used my very strong foresight and saw that there would be issues if we stayed friends. Karkat also encouraged me to do it and was outside when I went through with it. After I told her, she literally crumpled, and I hugged her one last time. She didnt expect it at all. ._.

I went insane with regret and self-hatred afterwards.

My ultimate crush looked, acted, and spoke [yelled] EXACTLY like Karkat.

The reason I got into Homestuck was because I was incredibly shocked at how his likeness was captured in the fan art, and even the official art. EVERYTHING is the same except he has grey-blue eyes, caucasion skin color, lacks horns. Everything else is the same. He sounds most like a more masculine version of Broadway Karkat. Very wicked and masculine voice. Extremely intimidating guy despite his size. [hes not short, just shorter than youd expect someone with a cocky personality like his.]

Karkat even called us the Scourge Sisters.

He hated Vriska. He was jealous of her as well, as anyone interested in me would have been.

I loved Karkat, more than anyone except Vriska, but my self-esteem was too low to believe he legitimately cared about me. On some level I knew he cared about me, but I was too BLIND to see it.

I didnt know I loved Vriska more than Karkat until I had already lost her. v.v

Vriska and I had a serious BDSM relationship [kismesis] after being moirails a very long time. We should have stayed moiraills. :[ It was really my fault that she acted the way she acted.

I am an empath and I can legitimately taste peoples energies.

I may as well be blind because my eyesight is useless to me without glasses.

My favorite color isnt red, its TEAL, but I have a crazy fetish for fiery guys.

Libra ascendant, which is funny because A. your ascendant was your sign in a previous life, and B. its the realm of your PERSONALITY. [Sun is about your life path and moon is about emotions. :P]

I am creepy and cute [or was when I identified as female]. I love scaring the shit out of people. >:]

I like 1337, but I refuse to type that way all the time even though quirks are awesome conceptually. I mean if I could program the computer to remember my quirk, itd be different, but that isnt a thing yet. Itd definitely spice the internet up much more. :]

I still play with plushies and whatevers at hand and draw with chalk.

I adore dragons and see myself as one because I was born in the year of the dragon. :P

I like to cosplay, and wear capes pretty often.

Dave is someone I cared about a great deal. He had a crush on me, but I saw him as a brother. Dirk is a total piece of shit and hurt Dave and Karkat and its why they have so much in common. He IS Daves bro. Dave sort of sticks up for him and Dirk has clueless followers.

Gamzee was a best friend of mine like Dave and we technically had a kismisitude relationship. Gamzee told me Karkat was his best friend but I didnt know it was mutual. He was very upset that Gamzee and I were kinda together.

One night I was sitting at the end of Vriskas bed, thinking she was asleep, and trying not to wake her up with blowing my nose. She was awake and spooked and said she thought I was cackling like a maniac at the end of the bed like a creep. I thought it was pretty much a good assessment.

Another time she told me that while I was asleep, she saw an *evil* me with a sharp toothed grin and grey skin. It didnt seem improbable to me.

John is my biological brother. Hes a Virgo sun, and hes a nerd. :] Hes the only person beside my dad and aunt I talk to. [lots of friends I have, lol.]

Rose is a c*nt but I was fascinated with her for some reason. Rose hates Homestuck because of the fanbase. [lolll]

Kanaya is her sister, not gf/wife. Shes cool, and a reasonable person and was a friend, but we didnt talk much. I dont know why really.. x.x

Aradia was my best friend before Vriska. She and Sollux are married. I had a crush on her hsband and it was awkward.

Equius is an ex. Longest relationship Ive been in was with him.

Eridan is as much of a insufferable asshat as he is in the series, but not good looking in the slightest. He can be.. surprisingly insightful at times. None of us like him, even us INFPs. [Dave and I.]

I see Aranea as my mother. Talks non-stop, ruins lives.. but I used to look up to her.

Calliope was a fellow dragon lover friend that Dave introduced me to. Her handle was Celestial Serpent and she is even more asexual than I am. :]

My friends saw my and Karkats connection as being more like Karkats and Nepetas. He treated me like I was autistic and mostly ignored me. Probably until I confessed to him, and then after I went crazy because I had lost Vriska, and hoped that I could rely on him to be there for me. but despite all that bravado cockiness of his, hes a total wimp. ._.] Karkat and I had a ridiculously brief unspoken relationship that was only through telepathic communication and I got beyond frustrated and kissed a woman, and it was over like that. No one knows about this but us. Its another thing that I have ruminated on and hated myself for and deeply regretted.

I envy gamer girls who are actually good at games and wish I could be more confident and popular. v.v; [Latula]

I had a character on Gaiaonline with the Chucku Norisu scarf and the winged staff item and people drew freebie art of it for me, and when I looked at my pictures after learning about Homestuck it was pretty crazy.

Vriska [best artist I know] drew a character that looked a lot like Terezi that I had liked a lot.

I was very isolated when I was young. Neglected by my parents for the most part and felt too different from other humans. I always wanted a tree house and bulit my own club house that I hung out in as a kid.

My friends pretty much unfairly looked down on and even despised Vriska except Gamzee.

I love the taste and sight of blood. [Im a sadist.]

Dave made a proposition that he, me and Karkat be in a poly relationship and I turned it down. [I did not want to share Karkles with ANYONE. I know in the comic Dave actually disliked the idea, but the poly thing came up with the three of us. I dont know if Karkat was cool with it or not because he always used Dave as our go-between, but if Dave made the offer it must have been Karkat approved. Asshole. -.-]

Karkat and Dave live together and are more than likely morails. Karkat isnt attracted to Dave, but Dave has said he is attracted to Karkat.

I had a dragon umbrella that looked like a cane that I loved a lot.

Karkat is pretty much the unofficial group leader, or at least he was in my opinion. I could see Sollux saying Id make a better leader, though, because Im more clear-headed and calm about things and people from that group respected me [more than I was aware of].

We are all connected somehow.. but the main group consisted of Dave, Gamzee, Rose, Kanaya, me [Terezi], Karkat, and a few people I didnt see as characters from Homestuck. Vriska was not allowed to hang out with us at first. When she finally got her freedom [with my help] she wouldnt hang with the group, and they saw her as taking me away from them. They thought she treated me poorly, but she really didnt. -.- [Vriska did nothing wrong, theyre all just jerks.]

I dont hang out or talk to any of them anymore except John. Im always finding myself reminiscing and I really just wish I could forget I ever met them so I could start over fresh.

I have a spirit guide that is a DRAGON and teaches me anything Id like to know, especially in esoteric matters. His name is Shadowfall Ryu. Ryu is Japanese for Dragon. [lusus] and I agonize that I dont know him irl. Everyone knows about him. I have drawn so much art of him and talked about him so much. He is my ideal self. [i know the lusus in the comics is female, but whatever. Its still interesting.]

I collect dragon stuff, including plushies. I still play with them and wish others would play with me.

List goes on and on.

I cant make this stuff up.

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linkspooky · 5 years

Text

Ougi and Araragi

Hi! I was wondering if you could write a meta about Ougi from the Monogatari series.

It’s impossible to talk about one of them without talking about the other, so let’s discuss the unique relationship between Ougi and Araragi underneath the cut, the special relationship between a boy and his shadow.

1. Character Concept: The Jungian Shadow

There’s a lot that can be discerned about Ougi just from the type of character they are. Their relationship with Araragi defines them entirely, without Araragi there is no Ougi.

Ougi’s design is intentionally meant to parallel Araragi’s. Araragi has a very bland light novel protagonist kind of look to him (hence why he never gets any cover art) his only distinguishing feature is that his hair is styled to cover one eye at almost all times. This is because Araragi’s primary character trait is obfuscation looking at things through only one eye you are never going to get the entire picture.

If Araragi’s character design is plain and normal, because that is what the primary protagonist type of these kind of series are an ordinary high school boy, then Ougi’s is the opposite, their design is attention grabbing and unique. If Araragi is normal, Ougi is visibly abnormal, you can already tell there is something subtly off by looking at them. What Araragi hides underneath the surface, Ougi is.

The primary feature of Ougi’s face and the one you notice immediately is their eyes, large, dull eyes, which are the focus of their entire face. Ougi is always shown staring forward with those eyes, unblinking, directly at you. It’s symbolic, eyes are symbols of insight, if Araragi obfuscates then Ougi sees everything. Ougi also wears the Naoetsu high girls uniform. They take the appearance of what Araragi cares about the most, a girl that he can save. Their skin is pale, and their hair dark, which could mean two things, either black and white, light and shadow kind of thinking that Ougi represents or, it’s just supposed to make them look like the kind of ghost that is common in Japanese horror.

Finally, Ougi’s sleeves are so long that their hands are almost never shown. This indicates two things, one human hands are signs of intimacy. What are your hands for? is a pretty famous quote from Evangelion, by never showing their hands Ougi cuts off intimacy because they exist as a symbol of isolation. The next is that Araragi is characterized as someone who always reaches out a helping hand, whereas Ougi is the opposite they stress individual agency and often leave others like Nadeko to their own fate. They may orchestrate things from the shadows, but ultimately Ougi never directly acts, and let’s the characters decide to step off the cliff all by themselves.

The fact that Araragi a boy, makes Ougi appear as a girl is also a play on binary gender. Ougi is technically genderless, but they appear as a girl initially because themes of binary opposition, and black and white thinking are at play in their character. Araragi is someone who tends to see the world in a binary way. Light and dark, black and white, male and female, they assume there is some kind of proper order to the world that needs to be followed. When Araragi begins to let go of these ideas Ougi is freer to express their gender any way they like.

A binary opposition (also binary system) is a pair of related terms or concepts that are opposite in meaning. Binary opposition is the system of language and/or thought by which two theoretical opposites are strictly defined and set off against one another.

Ougi is based primarily on two ideas. One of them is a pretty obvious reference to the King of Distortion from Boogiepop, which is the series which started what we now call ‘Light Novels’ in Japan by popularizing urban stories with heavy sci-fi or fantasy elements. Araragi even directly references the king of Distortion.

“Tell me, what are you thinking about now...?” “Don’t suddenly become the king of Distortion.” Out with the cool quotes, scolded my sister. I deeply reflected on it. (Nekomonogatari White).’

The king of Distortion is a character who’s physical appearance and personality changes with every character they interact with, and who is able to enter the dreams of other people and see the desires in their heart after which point he makes an attempt to correct them.

While the King's personality changes with whatever person's form he is taking, in general, he seems to share a soft-spoken, calm and collected attitude each time, always seeming confident, most likely because of his knowledge of distortions in the hearts of each person's subconcious he enters. He claims his goal to be to 'turn the people's suffering into gold', which involves having people deal with their inner turmoils and coming to terms with them, which is why Boogiepop does not consider the King an enemy of the world, as he doesn't truly do anything particularly villainous.

King of Distortion like Ougi is also born from a single character’s regrets. The King of Distortion was born the moment Shirou Tanaka arrived at the Moon Temple. The main cause for the King's creation was the pent-up regret Shirou felt after entering a relationship with Naoko Kamishiro even though he didn't love her, figuring that he would just develop feelings for her later. After the girl's death, Shirou's self-hatred grew as he realized he wasn't particularly affected by her death in any real way. These feelings were also amplified by the fact that he knew about Akio Kimura, someone who truly loved Naoko, and deserved her way more than himself. These complex feelings of his manifested as the King of Distortion, a being born from Shirou's MPLS evolution.

King of Distortion is an entity born from repressed regrets and self hatred, what a character refuses to acknowledge about themselves or confront. Therefore, both King and Ougi are Jungian shadow archetypes.

Both as one, one as both.

One is both, both are one.

The Niounomiya siblings with their slaughtering magic.

He and she pass their time in the same body.

Passing their shuttered time.

Passing their shuttered space.

She is Jekyll, and he is Hyde.

One as both, both as one.

Both are one, one is both. Hitokui Magical - [x].

Robert Louis Stevenson wrote the now famous tale, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, a story famous for its astute psychological insight that “Man is not truly one, but truly two.”

In Stevenson’s novel, Dr. Jekyll is a well respected doctor who cares deeply about the admiration of others and strives to be a good human being. In his laboratory he concocts a potion that when ingested transforms him into Mr. Hyde a primitive, unruly and destructive man. Reflecting on the nature of his transformation, he discovers a truth about the nature of a human being.

“I learned to recognize the thorough and primitive duality of man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could be rightly said to be the either, it was only because I was radically both.” [Source.]

The shadow exists in a dual relationship with the persona, developing in turn with it. In Jung’s terms the self, is the sum total of the psyche. Both is one, and one is both.

The persona comes from the latin word for “mask”, it’s the elements of personality which arises “for reasons of adaptation or personal convenience.” [Source.] It’s a simple idea, the way you talk around your friends is different from the way you talk in front of your grandmother. People are constantly choosing consciously which parts of their personality to show in front of others, especially in relation to how they would like to be perceived. It is a performance, but that does not mean it is not real. Every part of the identity matters.

It leans heavily on embodying only one’s best qualities, leaivng all those negative traits which contradict the Persona to form the “Shadow.” Jung called the shadow the part of the psyche the unconscoius aspect of the personality. Because one tends to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspeccts of one’s personality, the shadow is largely negative. It consists of everything which exists outside of the light of consciousness, but it can be both positive and negative. “Everyone carries a shadow”, Jung wrote, “And the less it is embodied in a person’s life, the blacker and denser it is.” The shadow is unscious, things which our mind experiences but we cannot control, dreams, desires, instincts.

Without a well developed shadow, a person can easily become shallow and extremely preoccupied with the opinions of others, much like how we see Araragi act in Monogatari. Jung believed that, not wanting to look at their shadows directly, many people project those flaws onto other people.

In terms of literary theory then, the Jungian Shadow archetype is a character who is made up of all the flaws that the protagonist refuses to confront. They challenge the protagonist merely by existing, because the protagonist wants to look away and leave those qualities unacknowledged. Often, they are an antagonist merely because the protagonist projects all of the flaws they cannot see into themselves, onto that other person.

2. Araragi Koyomi - He Obfuscates

It is impossible to see the shadow without the light. It is impossible to describe Ougi without first talking about Araragi Koyomi. Just like Ougi, let’s start with the origins of his character. While this is just my own personal speculation I’m not NisioIsin, Araragi has always read as written in response to two things to me: First Ii-chan, the protagonist of his first series Zaregoto, and second harem protagonists in general.

II-chan and Araragi are both very flawed and non-confrontational human beings, but whereas Zaregoto is a story about how II-chan really does not want to change himself and instead just kind of wants to stay treading water, wants to never cause any more ripples, wants to hold onto the fragile sense of self he has Araragi’s is a story of a bad and hypocritical, shallow kind of person striving to grow up and become a good person, acquire depth.

The stereotypical harem protagonist is this, a plain guy with no personality who somehow gets girls to fall all over him, often for showing them the bare minimum of kindness. Monogatari is partially a deconstruction of harem series because it shows the kind of circumstances that would cause all these girls to fall all over one guy, literally they are all so deprive of affection that the smallest show of kindness does actually make them fixate on Araragi.

The thing is Araragi does have a clear personality. He is very cynical, he’s judgemental of other people, he really likes to snark. Part of the reason he likes talking to Senjyogahara so much is he can be meaner, and sharper tongued than he normally presents himself as around people. He has traditional black and white views of justice. He tends to meddle. He is observant, but his style of thinking is flawed because he tends to jump to conclusions quickly rather than thinking out the details slowly and methodically. He’s almost constantly anxious, but usually responds to the anxiety with avoidance. However, a lot of his more distinct personality traits sound more negative rather than positive, so Araragi has a version of himself he presents to others who he is less close to. This ‘self’ is much more vague, and wishy-washy, very go with the flow. Despite the fact that Senjyo and Hanekawa both comment that Araragi is well known among the students as a delinquent, Araragi himself says that he’s a typical high school student with a completely normal personality. He defines himself as vague on purpose, that sole purpose being to appear as more acceptable to others, because like an ego that refuses to acknowledge his shadow Araragi is very shallow and defines himself entirely on the opinions of the other people around him.

He is lacking a sense of self, or rather that sense of self eventually escapes from him when his shadow runs away Peter Pan style and becomes Ougi.

Araragi has three primary character flaws that manifest in the form of Ougi, Araragi is a hypocritical altruist who only cares about weak girls that need to be saved, Araragi obfuscates, and Araragi only thinks in black and white.

Araragi is not someone who helps people because it is the right thing to do. He does not do good deeds because they are good. He only helps others because there is something he gains out of it. One thing that’s important about Araragi is that he has a cripplingly low self esteem, to the point of self harm, self flagellation, and even suicide attempts.

He literally says so when he finds Kiss-Shot’s body, his first response is not to call for help but rather to try to let Kiss-Shot kill him, apologizing for living such a worthless life until this point. It’s not just that Kiss-Shot was in trouble, Araragi also made it about his own self loathing.

Araragi seems selfless to a fault, but he’s actually very self obsessed. While it’s true that Araragi desires to be a good person, and improve as a person, his methods for self improvement are faulty. He’s obsessed with appearances, and it’s more like he wants the appearance of a good person rather than actually having to put in the work at first. He wants to feel like he’s saved others. He wants to feel like he is someone worth something. He saves others because it increases his self worth, and also once again he gets something out of it. Araragi saving women that are weaker than him makes him feel special, like somebodyy needs him.

He wears the persona of a hero, rather than actually trying to be one. It happens again and again in the series. Despite the fact that Araragi actively does heroic things literally all the time, he also denies any role of being a hero because he does not want the responsibility of being one. Araragi wants the world to be burger king, he wants to have it his way. He wants the best of both worlds, Hannah Montana style. He wants to save girls, but he doesn’t want to be their hero and be entirely responsible for them.

“Araragi-kun, even if you can become a star, you can’t become a hero.” “I can’t become a star.” I shook my head. “I can only become a vampire.” And I even failed at that. “I see.” So you’re not going to be - my hero.

Nekomonogatari: White (Hanekawa and Araragi)

Take his actions in Nekomonogatari. Araragi claims it’s impossible to be a hero, he says that Hanekawa cannot be saved and calls for her to take personal responsibility and face everything that is wrong with her life. However, rather than trying to just support her with that difficult task Araragi immediately jumps to self harm.

It’s impossible for Araragi to become a hero, but he can swallow a katana and then trick Hanekawa into killing him because that is somehow easier than facing his feelings for Hanekawa head on. Araragi prefers bloody, painful self harm to the terrifying ordeal of being known. Araragi knows that Hanekawa is in need of help, but the fact that she is such a messy person different from the person he originally saw her as, makes him afraid of her.

The thing is human beings are really sloppy. They are a messy gray, and Araragi wants to save them, but he really is just a kid out of his depth with a lot of things. He sees the abuse of Hanekawa’s household, and because he’s literally never even encountered an abusive life he gets so terrified that he runs away screaming. He does care about Hanekawa, but she’s far too complicated for him. He does not even want to touch that mess. It’s much easier for him to see Hanekawa as a hero, all black, or all white, then try to attempt something he does not know how to do and could screw up Hanekawa even worse.

Once again while it is not Araragi’s responsibility to fix an abused girl, and it makes sense a normal high school kid does not understand coping with abuse at all, Araragi at the same time wants to help her. Instead of just admitting that he can’t do anything for Hanekawa, he play-acts at being a hero.

Here’s the thing about Araragi, have you ever once seen him try to save a boy? He only cares about helpless girls because those are the kind of people that heroes save. He does not care about people that are stronger than him, because then he is depending on them rather than the other way around. Araragi only interacts with about three male characters in the story significantly.

Oshino, who is an adult figure that Araragi aspires to be like, and then Kaiki and Seishirou who he both views as rivals for the two most important girls to him Senjyogahara, and Seishirou. Do you notice there is a far different tone in Araragi’s interactions with Seishirou and Kaiki? Araragi absolutely refuses to see Kaiki as anything other than a villain, and while Seishirou is clearly a victim, Araragi cares very little about actually saving him and instead prioritizes competing with him over Kiss-Shot.

Once again this is dude psychology that is present in Harem series. Did you notice if male characters do show up in harem series they are oftentimes, either comic relief, they are terrible people for the main character to look good in comparison, or they are old men mentor types. That is because any other man who would exist in a harem series is automatically competition for the girls. Araragi does not want to compete, he does not want to feel inferior to anyone else, because he always feels inferior all the time therefore he never has any male friends.

Therefore it’s hypocritical altruism, while Araragi is willing to help and that’s a good thing, he also never once helps unless there is something he gains from it. Even if it’s a chance to exercise his self loathing. Once again Araragi’s self loathing is incredibly harmful, he literally gets bones broken, limbs severed, and organs torn out almost every time he helps someone. Not only that but it’s always the first solution he jumps to. This is not the behavior of a healthy person, this is the behavior of someone attempting to punish themselves. Helping these girls by martyring himself is an act of attrition for Araragi, because he believes he deserves pain for all of his hypocrisies, but once again it’s still self obsession. Just hating yourself, just beating yourself up, is different from having to do the actual work of facing yourself and picking yourself up. Araragi will always choose dishonesty over honesty, obfuscation over seeing things clearly.

Araragi’s primary strategy of dealing with these many hypocrisies and contradictions in himself, and keeping his ‘ego’ in balance has always been obfuscation. Araragi is observant, but he presents himself as ignorant. He always goes on claiming how stupid he is, and how he’s nothing more than a worthless washout.

This is because Araragi was raised with an overpowering sense of responsibility. While his parents are not necessarily bad parents, they are police officers. He was raised made to feel responsible for things like justice, saving others, and especially made to feel responsible for his own flaws. Police officers are also symbols of justice, who as human beings often fall far short of the law and authority they are supposed to represent, because symbols are symbols and humans are humans.

Therefore, what Araragi wants to avoid at all costs is feeling responsible. He wants to be important, but he never wants to take the responsibility of actually being important. This is his immaturity, the part of him that refuses to grow. For Araragi, if situations are too complicated for him to handle, or he fears his meddling will only make things worse and therefore he will be indicated as responsible his response is to just avoid it entirely rather than struggle or try.

This is shown in the case of Sodachi Oikura, once again someone that Araragi knew about and sympathized with but at the same time could not comprehend. Sodachi lived in horribly abusive circumstances, and both times Araragi encountered her he was a child. Araragi at the same time takes far too much responsibility, and far too little. It’s completely understandable that Araragi a middle schooler had no idea what to do to deal with what was obviously an abusive household, most adults are pretty useless when it comes to handling abused children. Yet, at the same time Araragi avoids any responsiblity whatsoever, he just forgets about Oikura claiming he has a bad memory depsite encountering her at three different significant parts of his life. Rather than struggle and fail, it’s better for Araragi to just not know anything at all therefore it can’t be his fault.

When Ougi drags Araragi through Sodachi’s case, Ougi ‘deduces’ everything, but Ougi’s catchphrase is I only know what you know. Ougi cannot have come to a conclusion that Araragi did not already know or was not capable of figuring out on his own, Araragi just did not think of those things because it was too painful to think.

This is also present in his dealing with other characters. There are several characters who have heavy romantic crushes on Araragi while Araragi is already in a relationship, Nadeko, Hanekawa, etc... Rather than ever just going through the awkward interaction of rejecting them it’s much easier to just pretend he never even notices their affections. Therefore we see him hypocritically, have a girlfriend, at yet at the same time constantly hang out with other girls who have a clear attraction to him and romantic feelings for him and never do anything about it.

Nadeko turns into a god because of obfuscation, both on Araragi’s part and on Nadeko’s. Nadeko is called out for what a hypocritical person she is never wanting to face anything directly, but that behavior is only a reflection, a foil to Araragi’s own, hence why Araragi was never able to save her.

Once again, Nadeko clearly has several problems with her personality, and she also blatantly hits on Araragi several times despite one being a middle schooler, and two Araragi having a girlfriend. Rather than just reject her outright, or acknowledge these parts of her personality, Araragi chooses to ignore everything and reduce her to being a cute girl. Nadeko puts on the act, and Araragi perceives. He then ignores all of her feelings, until they repress more and more and then bubble out into a jungian shadow expression that is Snake God Nadeko who just indulges on all of her instincts and desires and gives up conscious thought and her persona completely.

Ougi always mocks Araragi has a helpless fool, because that is what Araragi wants to be, helpless, foolish, and therefore not at fault when there are unintended consequences of his actions.

Finally, Araragi only thinks in black and white. This is also part of his obfuscation, he never wants to acknowledge how complicated people are. When he’s forced to confront the ugly side of people he almost always looks away.

Black cats, white cats, hmmm, I wonder what that means. Araragi was only disappointed with the idea of justice, because he wanted to believe in it in the first place. He wants to believe that things like heroes can exist, and that his black and white perceptions of the wolrd are real. Araragi craves that order more than anyone else, perhaps even more than his younger sisters who just play at being heroes of justice. The reason he becomes so disillusioned is because he expects there to be an order of things, for their to be roles just like in a story, for their to be a sequence of events with meaning.

Araragi expects narrative rules to apply to real life. For life to have meaning. That is why he is a story teller. There are monsters and oddities, and humans with a clear line between them, despite the fact that Araragi himself is someone who blurs these lines by existing as a quasi vampire. Araragi’s life is a story that he tells himself, and that’s why it’s so important that his perceptions are so off. In Tsuki he even gets called on this twice, he calls his increasing vampirism punishment instead of just consequences for his actions and he’s told not to think he’s so special that god would go out of his way to punish him. Tadatsuru asks why they are facing off like this, why Araragi is protagonist and he is antagonist.

Araragi does not like acknowledging how sloppy the world is, because that makes him feel insignificant and weak. It would make anybody feel that way, because it means acknowledging that we are not as in control of things as we would like to be.

3. Oshino Ougi - They Reveal

Ougi Oshino is Ougo Oshino.

They are a vague existence, Araragi refuses to define them because defining Ougi means defining themselves and that kind of confrontation is the last thing Araragi wants.

Ougi Oshino is born out of a desire for Araragi to punish himself, the same way he always seeks external punishment by allowing people to beat him up and rip out his intenstines. Rather than confront what is inside of him, Araragi externalizes it and confronts it as an external force which he projects upon.

Ougi is a shadow born from the light of Araragi’s ego. It was not the darkness that created them, but rather Araragi himself and the shadow he cast. Therefore while Ougi can be seen as a corrective force, they actually embody all of those flaws that Araragi has, and their own character traits are always in response to those flaws.

Wheraes Araragi is a hypocritical altruist, Ougi is someone who exists to fix people’s mistakes, or punish them for their mistakes rather. Despite manipulating them, Ougi also ultimately leaves them up to their own fate. He leads them up to the cliff but does not push.

Ougi is a hypocritical fixer, because while he seems to be punishing others for their mistakes he really only exists to punish himself in the form of Araragi. All of the ‘mistakes’ he corrects are just Araragi’s own mistakes foiled in other people.

Nadeko is a foil to Araragi, she represents his own feigning of innocent and being unknowing. Kaiki is a foil to Araragi, he represents how much of a fake Araragi is by pretending to cling to ideals of justice and saving others but also denying them as well. Sodachi is also like Araragi, they both prefer to wallow in misery than try to work towards their own happiness. Araragi even says his famous line with his relationship with Shinobu, an ending where everyone is miserable, where nobody gets what they want. There are serious problems with his current relationship with Shinobu, a power imbalance, and both know they cannot last this way forever but rather than attempting to fix their relationship they both cling to the way thing’s are.

Repression and obfuscation is always favored over directly addressing the issues, especially the things which Araragi probably cannot control, or fix, like the complicated nature of abuse. Ougi claims they operate out of some imaginary set of rules that totally exist, but once again Ougi is the hypocrisies of Araragi laid bare. They are every bit the hypocrite that Araragi is.

They are just punishing other people who reflect Araragi’s negative traits. Those who do not acknowledge their shadow, will project their flaws onto other people and see themselves in other people in order to cope.

Ougi is made up of Araragi’s repressed desires. They are a girl he wants to save, which is the only type of person Araragi interacts with. At the same time, they are also connected to Oshino, who is Araragi’s model in the series for adulthood and maturity. Oshino who is always able to figure things out, and very self-collected often making fun of Araragi for his youthful excitement and his naivete for not knowing much about the world.

While Araragi presents himself as an idiot, Ougi is intelligent an capable of figuring things out from scraps of information. Araragi jumps to conclusions, Ougi is deductive and a good thinker. Ougi Oshino already knows Araragi better than himself, therefore Araragi does not have to carry any of the burden of self reflecting, or making himself known to other people around him.

During Ougi and Arraagi’s first meeting in the anime, he hallucinates that the classroom that he is locked inside of floods with water. The depths of the water, the shadow, dreams, these are all the realm of Jung. If the conscious mind is the water’s surface, then the subconscious is its depths.

Araragi obfuscates, whereas Ougi reveals the uncomfortable truth. Ougi always positions themselves as a detective. In the realm of stories, it is the detective who makes the big reveal at the end. After all Ougi even says when they are locked in the room together, because there is no famous detective that Ougi themselves will play the role and announce the culprit.

However, Ougi’s reveals are just as hypocritical as Araragi’s obfuscations. Ougi takes the shadow to be representative of the whole self, because they themselves are a living breathing Jungian shadow, but just like Jekyll and Hyde man is both. He is not one or the other, he is both at the same time. Ougi always act with the assumption that there is some kind of truth to be revealed, that this is just like a detective novel where there is a reveal waiting at the end.

Ougi takes the repressed desires to count as the “truth” of the whole mind, and ignores the conscious mind entirely. Therefore, in their view Nadeko is only capable of being a selfish cute girl who sees herself as a victim, Hanekawa is only something scary which Araragi must avoid. They at the same time as Araragi both read the same black and white narrative of the world. They do not care at all for the persona, or how people choose to present themselves. Desipte what Kaiki said to Nadeko that people can choose to be whoever they want to be, and they can try as many times as they like.

Ougi also views themselves as inhuman, and therefore incapable of doing anything, or defining themselves as anything outside of their role. Ougi is in a way, just as repressing of themself as Araragi is. They even lament this in front of Tsukihi, that once the detective reveals the mystery the novel is over. That if anybody would know the truth of them, they would come to hate them because they are abhorrent.

Ougi by repressing concious thought, silences other people and what they have to say about themselves. The only thing that matters is the repressed, what Ougi dictates as the truth must then become the truth. It’s just as much a limited way of saying the world as Araragi’s is. Hence Ougi’s famous catchphrase, I don’t know anything, you’re the one who knows. Ougi sees themselves as a person fundamentally incapable of knowing anything other than outside the bounds of what Araragi already knows.

Which is finally where the black and white thinking comes in. While the two of them seem like polar opposites, their views of the world are actually the same. Ougi wants what Araragi wants, for the world to exist like this is a story. For there to be roles, and order and most importantly meaning. The same way that Araragi just ignores things that fall out of step with their roles, when people contradict the way Araragi sees them he just pretends to be oblivious rather than see them as complex human beings. Ougi actively goes out of their way to punish people, for not playing the role in the story they were supposed to play. He acts like a corrective force, pushing people back into their roles. His wrongful assumption is not that people improve by “correcting mistakes” but rather there was a proper path in the first place. That there was a hero’s journey they were supposed to be going on. There is no path, there is no meaning, it’s all senseless but Ougi exists out of a desire for things to be sensible.

Ougi exists as Araragi’s opposite, because Araragi assumes that things like binary opposites exist in the first place. Heroes and villains, crime and punishment. They both believes these things exist in a fundamental order in the world, and they are not just made up values that humans invented and give meaning to.

“Let’s not joke. Virtue is the antonym of vice, not of crime.” “Are vice and crime different?” “They are, I think. Virtue and vice are concepts invented by human beings, words for a morality which human beings arbitrarily devised.” (No Longer Human, Osamu Dazai)

For both of them clinging to these hypocritical beliefs are better than the alternative, admitting to their own helplessness in the face of a world that is mostly indifferent to them.

That’s why, when they are separate both of them choose to stick to their ultimately restricting and punishing roles, as protagonist and atagonist, persona and shadow, hero and villain, rather than just trying to acknowledge themselves and live as people.

Both is one, and one is both. Araragi Koyomi and Oshino Ougi have a relationship that ultimately results in not antagonism, but rather union and acceptance. Just like the King of Distortion is not an enemy of mankind in the enemy, Ougi was never an enemy to Araragi in the first place. Araragi never needed to hate himself or punish himself. The true path forward lies in union and acceptance.

You can never be anything more than yourself, nothing more and nothing left.

#monogatari #monogatari meta #mg meta #araragi koyomi #oshino ougi #meta #nisio meta

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oursexualexperiencesarewith-blog · 4 years

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The Evolution of Media And Porn

I’ve been fortunate enough to grow up in a sex positive household. No anatomical question was off limits, and as i’ve gotten older I am understanding why this topic was talked about more often than most families do. Being open to discussion about sex and sexuality comes with a bunch of pros for everyone. You feel more in tune with your body, better body acceptance, confidence in saying “no” to something you are uncomfortable doing sexually, safer sex, and a better sense of self love, etc. For most young women and men the idea of their sexuality and what sex is like is such a daunting, but exciting thing to tackle when the time comes. Typically, before most people experiment with sex they watch porn, read an erotic magazine, or go to the strip club. By doing this they are discovering what their preferences are; men or women, short or tall, athletic build or skinny, feet, butt, or breasts type of person. Are you a tattoo person or do you want the skin to be clear and smooth?

After watching a few episodes from the series Hot Girls Wanted: Turned On (Season 1) it really made me realize how much media controls our consumption of porn, and the dangers of media crossing over to the adult industry. The adult film industry wasn’t always so reliant on media just like most things porn needed to grow with the times too. This made me think about the consumption of porn in each generation and how the media has helped us evolve into such a successful industry today.

Baby boomers had fewer resources to educate themselves on sex and sexuality. Things like Playboy magazines, strip clubs, call girls and VHS tapes were their only options. In an era where sex wasn’t an open topic for conversation it made it harder to learn and explore your seuality in privacy.

It’s not until the Gen X era that you see the internet as another accessible resource for sex. During this time, porn became more readily available to viewers in a much more discrete way, or so we’d like to think. The internet era made it a dream come true for people who were ashamed of what they found sexually arousing. You no longer needed to go to an adult store to buy or view (and steal???) porn. You had it all inside the comfort of your own home. Because of all these additional technological advancements there's more access, openness, and privacy about sexuality.

Gen Z is when technology, media, and peoples desires to stay more discrete created much more opportunities for people consuming porn and those working in the industry. The porn sites became more advanced to what people liked, the adult film industry started hiring more diverse women and men, and camming became a popular hobby for most young people who wanted to make some money without ever needing to leave their homes.

The millennial era is where you start seeing major changes to the adult industry and the connections to what we have learned in our Humanities class so far. The best way to describe the millennial generation in terms of sexuality and the sex industry is how customized it has become, and how sex has become a very common topic in media today. Your sexual experience could be customized to the point where it could replace an actual human. Vice’s show “Slutever” covered this idea in Slutever: Inside the World of VR Porn. Due to the Coronavirus outbreak, the media has completely taken over the porn industry in ways that it has never done before. With stripclubs and adult industry studios being shut down until further notice, creators are needing to use media to their fullest potential in order to lessen the financial blow. How The Porn Industry Is Being Affected By COVID

Have you ever noticed how sex scenes in films made in the boomer generation differ from those in the Gen X era? Or how those differ from the ones we see now? I’d say that the sex scenes that we see today are much more realistic and raw which is why it is so akward when they come on during family movie night. Media has evolved in showing sex, but it’s also evolved in how they show and portray same sex couples, trans, non-binary people, and more! I think we’ve almost seen it all people!!!

OnlyFans is a subscription-based platform that allows for creators, influencers, and business owners to sell their content. However, sex workers have accounted for most of their finnacial sucesses in the past year. For most adult film stars this is the site that they have migrated to while the adult film industry is on temporary shut down. If not on OnlyFans they are camming, or making their own amateur films. People who have never have experience in sex work are using the plartform to get into it, and making a lot of money by doing it! How OnlyFans Changed Sex Work Forever

So how does all of this relate to the things we are learning in class? I think this relates more to all of Week One’s materials because it had to do with social media and technology. The two articles on smartphones in our generation relates directly to what we are seeing in the adult industry now. We are in a time that has forced everyone to learn and use social media in order to stay connected to everyone. Now that work and school are mainly remote our human interaction is little to none. This has been weeding out the people who know how to use it and those who don’t. Same goes for the people in the adult film industry. Those who don’t have much experience in the technical/media side of porn are probably having a harder time adapting to the new way of the industry. Younger people who have grown up using technology are succeeding during this time and possibly making more money than they did before. You see kids who are freshly 18 partaking in camming and OnlyFans because of how similar the algorithms and platforms are to the social media we’ve been using for years. OnlyFans is what I would call a hybrid child of Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

However, when you mix young adults, sexuality, and media together it isn’t always sunshines and rainbows. There are plenty of cons to this industry and just sexuality in general. For example, in this past week's readings on Dana Boyd's "It's Complicated" she studies teenagers behaviors and consumptions of social media. She covered topics like unhealthy sexual encounters and leaked nude images which ties into being harassed/bullied online. Most young people aren’t always aware of the trouble they can get if they are messing around with someone younger than the age of 18 or vice versa. Being young and having access to social media can be dangerous to both parties involved. Younger people can be easily tricked into believing that the person they are talking to is who they say they are. Most young people don’t find it sexy to ask if the other is at least 18, but it’s so important to do.

Boyd also discussed sexual solicitations which can be used to blackmail or harass someone.

“With the rise of social media, many safety advocates presumed that sexual solicitations would spike. Repeating their study in 2006 with an identical definition to allow for comparisons, CCRC found that one in seven minors had been sexually solicited online, a 5 percent decline from 2000. 32 Other scholars also found that youth were far more likely to be problematically solicited in online environments that were previously popular but were no longer considered cool.” (Boyd, p. 112)

This reminds me of an Episode from the Netflix show Sex Education in which a photo of Ruby’s genitalia gets sent around the whole school by an “unknown person” to “vagina shame” her. (Spoiler alert) the unknown suspect ends up being Olivia, her best friend who got a hold of the picture and began anonymously sending it around to everyone in the school to get back at her for being a bully. With the creation of phones, smartphones, and social media nudes have been a popular form of communication between young teens and adults. Especially so with the invention of Snapchat in which you can send media and it will go away within 20 seconds. If you screenshot or screen record the other person is notified which has deterred many from partaking in that action, but not everyone. Many people have had their nudes leaked that way which goes to show how social media can have a negative impact on teens and young adults' lives.

Emma Mackey On The Specific Episode

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legacixs · 5 years

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( ISKRA LAWRENCE, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER ) ⌇ have you seen LORELEI MOORE around icaria? they are the 26 year old child of PERSEPHONE. they remind me of THE FIRST WARM DAY OF SPRING, LAVENDER SWAYING IN THE BREEZE, A YELLOW RAINCOAT ON A RAINY DAY.

+ empathetic, intellectual, gentle, fair-minded, creative, nurturing, realistic, resilient – over-sensitive, self-isolating, nosy, obsessive, domineering, temperamental, indecisive

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𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

lorelei never knew her birth father. he was young, from what her adoptive parents told her. in his twenties, not yet ready to be a dad. he never suspected that his brief time with the goddess of spring would leave him with a child to care for.

she only met her birth mother a few times — nothing more than a exchange on a couple of her birthdays, and however pleasant they were, it wasn’t much.

her adoptive parents were her real parents. they were the only consistent family she’s ever known — her mom, nora; her dad, luis; her brother, christopher; her sister, ophelia.

nora and luis weren’t high school sweethearts, or childhood best friends. they both found one another after each having gone through divorces from their first spouses. chris, the eldest, was the ring bearer at their wedding (at 6, he was barely old enough not to stick the ring in his mouth or nose.)

they tried to get pregnant for many years, but were unsuccessful. they went to fertility clinics, tried every trick everyone ever tells you, and had no child to show for it.

with nothing but love and hope in their hearts, they began the adoption process. that’s when they met lorelei, a five year old girl with a kind soul and bad luck with foster homes.

she spent the first four years of her life with the kline family, who were unable to continue caring for her when mrs. kline fell ill. and then she moved in with the farley family — they weren’t mean, but they yelled a lot, and their son who was older than her got a lot of joy out of making her cry.

thankfully, both luis and nora fell in love with her and young lorelei found herself in what would eventually feel like home.

it was strange at first, and she often wondered if she’d have to leave there too. especially when nora became pregnant mere months later.

“it always happens when you stop trying!”

“two kids in less than a year; you must be busy.”

“guess you didn’t have to adopt after all!” people said.

lorelei spent what felt like the eternity of nora’s pregnancy hoping that she wouldn’t have to leave. but when little ophelia was born, and nora and luis invited lorelei to “come say hi to your little sister”, she knew she was here to stay.

lorelei’s childhood was normal after that. the moore family lived in a backwoods town in pennsylvania — surrounded by trees, farms, and more plants than lorelei could ever dream. it was here that her powers started to manifest; suitably a surprise for all involved. fields would bloom in her wake; and likewise, crops would wither behind her. she either had the best green thumb, or killed every plant she touched (like many others, her powers seemed heavily influenced by mood.)

it was an adjustment, to say the least. it was thanks to the help of persephone when she visited on lorelei’s ninth birthday. with her guidance, they all grew used to little lorelei’s abilities.

she was a shy child (a fact that surprises people when they meet her now) but sometimes the world was just too much. hyper-sensitive, young demigod lorelei felt things more extremely than others, and so she started picking up isolation techniques.

her favorite was hiding, while still being able to observe. she didn’t want to be completely away from the world, just hidden in the shadows. she’d sit under a weeping willow along a busy town road and watch the world pass by for hours. now she often sits on park benches with noise canceling headphones, watching the world go by without feeling overwhelmed.

she’d enjoy her alone time with a sketch pad or journal; she’d scribble the hours of the day away until her parents or christopher called for her to come back inside.

overall she had a happy childhood, once she settled with her family. she was never popular in school, though that was perhaps a reality of her own making. she often befriended the people others wouldn’t and, when told that she would be “cool if she didn’t hang out with such losers” lorelei quickly stood up for her friends and told those classmates exactly what she thought of them.

never afraid to speak her mind in the face of injustice, her morals were as high as her judgement.

she became something of a self-proclaimed friend to the lonely, despondent, isolated.

many of them proved to be fantastic friends, wrongly misjudged by their peers. unfortunately, a select few proved to be emotionally manipulative and toxic — the most notable of the latter being her ex-boyfriend.

their year of dating left her insecure, shattered, and fearful. she prefers not to discuss it in detail, even now. it was only through the support of her family (even if they remained unaware of what was even going on) and their fresh start in another country that helped her to recover.

helsinki, finland became their home when lorelei was just 17. it was a new beginning, even if she hadn’t recognized it at the time. and the picturesque, european architecture would serve as the backdrop for her later teen, college, and young adult years.

despite her anxieties of starting college somewhere new, with no friends in the area, lorelei thrived. she pursued writing, and came to love her craft. she also tried to minor in illustration, but after two years came to realize that she preferred it as something done on her own time, than as an assignment.

her confidence blossomed, as did her powers. although she still had her moments of weakness, lorelei’s control over her abilities made her quite the local botanist. she’d spend her afternoons between classes tending to helsinki’s parks, plants and trees. springs became more beautiful every year, summers became richer; and during fall and winter, lorelei’s apartment bloomed with all of the plants that wouldn’t survive the cold.

a sweet soul, has that “old soul” vibe

big pisces energy

doesn’t trust love and fears intimacy (physical and not) after her terrible relationship

adopted

her family is her family

but does sometimes wonder what her birth dad is like...

is a lucky demigod to have met her birth mom

loves her siblings very much

christopher is 3 years older than her, ophelia is 5 years younger

ophelia is high energy and reckless

christopher is super serious and responsible

she’s somewhere in the middle

her parents never worried much about her

she kind of had most stuff handled

or she hid it VERY well

none of them knew she went through a toxic relationship

had some body image issues growing up

is trying to learn to love her body

had the biggest collection of stuffed animals as a kid. her mom definitely has more than 1 photo of her sitting in a pile of plushies

soft but strong??

shares persephone’s dichotomy of spring goddess/queen of hell

is actually p good at being emotionally vulnerable

feels things very intensely

wears glasses (even tho iskra doesn’t but let’s just imagine-)

works as a writer!

wants to write a book but pays the bills by writing for an online magazine

more sarcastic than she seems at face value

she has to be comfortable with you to show that side of her

people are surprised she swears

stronger than she looks

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

FAMILY — unknown birth father (would be around 48-52), older brother christopher (29-30) and younger sister ophelia (20-21). either could be demigods, technically. chris is nora’s son, with an unnamed father. and ophelia was thought to be the only full child of nora and luis, but maybe there was some divine intervention with nora’s miracle pregnancy, if you will.

FRIENDS — lorelei is a wonderful friend, so these are a must! she’s from helsinki, but lived in the north eastern US prior to that. she works as a writer (remotely) and is often finding different places around town to write. she frequents stores, coffee shops, anywhere that lets her sit and focus on her work. i’d love for her to have a core group of friends that she can rely on (she’s got big mom friend energy)

ROMANCE — not impossible, but certainly difficult. lorelei has been closed off to love and intimacy since her teens, after a severely toxic relationship. but she wants to be in love. the idea of it is very appealing, and while she’s attempted to date or try putting herself out there again, when faced with the opportunity she gets scared and backs out. there’d have to be a lot of trust and patience from both parties, but it’s definitely something i’d love for her! all genders welcome

ENEMIES — it’s not entirely difficult to make an enemy of lorelei... though she isn’t antagonistic, she does become intolerable of people who push her buttons. it borders on rude at times, if she feels she’s been pushed far enough. generally they’d have to be rude to someone, talk down to her, treat her like she’s stupid, etc. she’s also capable of changing her opinion of people! so the “enemies to friends” trope is an option

#icaria: intro #a #here she is!!#emotional abuse tw #body image tw

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eldritch-babe · 5 years

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the human delusion

a self-indulgent character study of my Newman and the neurological con job of love, with a squeeze of MCxJonny at the end

(note: vague sexual references as well as an unwanted but avoided sexual advance)

Her first relationship is in kindergarten. The boy who ate glue in her class gave her a frog, she threw it as hard as she could into the dirt to see what would happen, and then the boy declared that they were married.

Considering Eve doesn’t remember divorce proceedings, she’s still technically married.

Then came the fairy tales, the romance movies, the thousands of stories shoved down her throat about lovely princesses with true loves. She could hardly tolerate them, mostly confused as to how humans can become so attached to one another, so ready to sacrifice themselves for something as fleeting and ineffectual as monogamy. “Love” is tossed around a lot, as well as “like-like” with her classmates, which seems to mean one and the same thing and convinces Eve that words are meaningless and romance is a scam.

The part where kitchen sculleries and maids become princesses in castles just by batting their eyelashes at some boy with money sticks with her, though.

.....

In second grade, she gets ice cream with Livvy and someone whistles from a car. She doesn’t hide her confusion, and Livvy explains in that strangely roundabout way she does with certain topics that she’s not allowed to discuss in public until she’s older. Something about how “boys are creeps” and will treat her poorly.

She doesn’t bother to tell Livvy about her three boyfriends, or how she doesn’t like any of them.

Anthony’s mother gives him cupcakes in his sack lunch, and being his girlfriend means in exchange for holding his sweaty hand, she can get a cupcake whenever she feels like it. Min-soo is the fastest runner in their class, which means a lot of other girls like-like him, so she also declared him her boyfriend to upset them. And Nathan is easy to cheat off of during spelling tests, so she wears the stupid flowers he picks for her in her hair until the petals fall off.

Boys may not treat her well, but Eve will treat them worse, and so she only nods along to Livvy’s words and finishes her ice cream.

.....

Her first kiss happens in sixth grade, at a birthday party. In a corner of the backyard, away from prying adult eyes and with the sun setting, a glass bottle spins around a circle of prepubescent students. Eve is less than impressed with the whole affair, as the first three people to spin it then refuse to follow the rules and kiss who it lands on, because it’s so “embarrassing.”

When her turn comes, she spins it on the concrete patio, watches it land on a boy with curly hair whose name she never bothered to learn, and she leans forward and plants her lips against his, the rest of the circle breaking into gasps and hollers.

The boy blushes, the girls sitting next to her giggle into their hands, and Eve still doesn’t get the appeal of kissing.

Later, when she’s waiting for her mom to pick her up, that same boy comes up to her, still blushing and stammering, “S-so do you want to, um, be boyfriend-girlfriend?”

She looks over at him, sizing him up with an unimpressed once-over. He can’t make eye contact, is shorter than her, and she still can’t be bothered to remember his name.

“No.”

He looks hurt by the venom in her tone, and she doesn’t speak to him again.

.....

Her second kiss is in eighth grade, at a sleepover party her mother forces her to attend.

Of the girls in attendance, Eve is pretending to be friends with the three most popular of them, and of those three she really only tolerates Rebecca, or “Becky” as she prefers after entering middle school with a new wardrobe. Their relationship has been forged on mercilessly teasing the boys in their health class and being the only two relatively unaffected by the sex ed portion of the year.

They set their sleeping bags next to each other, sitting close throughout the night, with the sleeves of their pajamas brushing against each other. When the group turns off the lights to watch The Exorcist, courtesy of an older brother who snuck them the VHS, Becky curls into Eve’s side. At several points, she hides her face in Eve’s shoulder while Eve delights in the sickening effects and the screams of the other girls.

She thinks, off-handedly, that Becky smells nice. Most of the other girls smell too sweet, but whatever shampoo Becky uses on her dark hair is pleasantly citrusy.

When they all settle in for the night, Eve makes sure she’s the last to fall asleep, to avoid whipped cream or a bowl of warm water. As snores fill the living room and she gives up trying to get comfortable on the carpet, the sleeping bag next to her shifts.

“Are you awake?” Becky whispers, and her breath is right in Eve’s ear, and it sends a shiver down her casket’s body.

“Yeah.”

There’s a long pause. “Can we talk?”

They’re careful not to disturb the others, tiptoeing around sleeping bags and fleece blankets. Eve follows Becky as she leads them to the coat closet in the front hallway, opening the door.

Eve blinks, brows furrowing. “Why in here?”

“I want to talk in private.”

Eve considers for a moment, decides that she could easily take the smaller girl if something were to happen, and steps inside, flicking on the light switch when Becky shuts the door. The space is cramped, winter coats on hangers shifting as they face each other and Becky takes a deep breath.

“Be cool about this.”

“Spit it out, Becky.”

The girl flinches, takes another breath, and crosses her arms tightly. “My cousin...we found out she likes girls,” she mumbles, looking up at Eve through heavy lashes, voice small as she continues, “Like, she’s a lesbian, or whatever.”

That word is vaguely familiar, and Eve shrugs. “Okay.”

Becky brightens, straightening her back and loosening her arms. “You don’t think it’s grodie?”

Eve shakes her head. Truth be told, she’s never understood humans who get so hung up on what other humans do – do they not realize how short their lifespans are, how insignificant all their actions end up being?

“I just...” Becky trails off, retreating into herself once more, voice below a whisper now, so that Eve has to lean forward, bringing them even closer in this already small space and that nice citrus smell back in her nose. “I kind of want to try it. Don’t wig out on me, but I thought, maybe...”

“Do you want to kiss me?”

Part of her almost doesn’t want to go through with it, remembering her last lackluster experience with kissing and undecided if it’s worth her time.

However, Becky’s lips are soft, and her hands cradle her face, and when they leave the coat closet, Eve finally gets the appeal of kissing.

They go to sleep and when morning comes, Becky doesn’t look at her. When Eve brings up wanting to try kissing again a week later, Becky giggles nervously and tells her to stop being weird, looking at her as if she has three heads and then uninviting her to a sleepover. They don’t speak again, but Becky and the other two popular girls whisper about her when they pass in the hallway at school.

Eve realizes girls will treat her poorly, too.

.....

By high school, she has her flirting honed, using it to her full advantage.

It’s almost boring with how easy it is, so she cycles through relationships as she pleases. One month she’s wearing the varsity jacket of the quarterback, reveling in the awed whispers and smirking at the envious glares. Then the next, some Junior got a nice car for their birthday and she’s on their arm, claiming that passenger seat and getting free rides to wherever she desires.

At one point, she kisses some drop-out in the making, Henry, beneath the bleachers in exchange for getting her a six-pack for a party.

He decides to spread a rumor that she did unspeakable things to a certain limb of his, and she gets a less than complimentary word written on her locker in Sharpie, the rumor haunting her for a month.

So she claims it’s true, and slips in some details about a strange sexual fantasy and the underwhelming length of that certain limb.

That rumor haunts Henry right up until he drops out a year later.

After that, boys are more wary of her, and she shifts her focus.

She finds out, through weeks of gossip and tracking down secrets and slipping into different groups, that Becky from eighth grade has her eyes on a pretty girl in her art class with ash brown hair.

And having Becky open the door of a coat closet at a party after prom, only to find that pretty girl with her tongue down Eve’s throat, ties up her high school experience in a neat little bow, sending her off to college more than confident that the humans around her are pawns with fragile hearts and a weakness for skirts.

.....

This is when she really gets the kissing thing down, amongst other things, and realizes that despite the limitations this human form places on her, she can also wring out some pleasure from it.

Still, even that gets boring after a while, and so what might constitute a dating life begins to settle into something sparse with her. The occasional fling gets her through especially boring times, and she still goes for a twirl of her hair and bat of her eyelashes to get her way or out of trouble, but the challenge of it all is mostly gone.

Humans, she has found, are disappointingly simple to bend, figuratively.

It becomes especially apparent at the few frat parties she attends. Girls in tight shirts attract boys in loose pants, and the whole thing is nauseatingly stupid, with no finesse, nothing really to it besides some alcohol, puffs from something being passed around, and physically rubbing bodies together.

And some of them will still naively believe that love exists, that love is separate from the hormones coursing through their bodies now, that a different kiss could matter.

Eve stands in a corner, watching the party before her with a red cup in hand and an openly disgusted look on her face. She finishes off the warm beer, deciding she’ll convince that cheerleader with a symmetrical face to kiss her and become the center of attention for a moment, when a body slams into the wall next to her.

She looks over, into the eyes of some guy with patchy facial hair and an ill-fitting polo. His breath reeks of cheap alcohol as he leans far too close to her, purring over the music, “You must be Eve.”

He doesn’t continue, and her patience is wearing out quickly in the face of his audacity. “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m hurt, babe.” Even his laugh is slurred, and she inches her body away, but that only seems to incentivize him to step forward. “You haven’t heard of me?”

“No and I don’t want to.”

This should be the end of the conversation, and to make that abundantly clear, Eve turns, intent on heading towards the staircase and leaving. Before she can get even two steps away, however, a hand grips her upper arm, tight enough that she involuntarily winces. The stranger pulls her back toward him, forcing her to face him as his voice is a step away from a growl.

“Don’t be like that.”

It’s not the first time someone has been a creep, like Livvy warned all those years ago. Eve laments the loss of her true form, wishing for the hundredth time just this week that she had it back. It’d certainly get his hand off of her, and probably break his feeble mind into a dozen pieces before he simply ceased to exist.

But she can make do in this form, can puff out her chest and drop her voice to its own growl, the consonants clear as she chews the syllables through grit teeth. “Let go of me.”

He doesn’t. “Sure,” he says, and his balance falters for a moment, and she has to shift her weight along with him as he readjusts his stance, “Just give me a kiss.”

Eve’s stomach rolls in disgust and she has to breathe in through her nose, out through her mouth. Then, she forces her body to relax, opening her eyes and making her gaze soft as her hand falls over his on her arm. She caresses it, leans into the touch with an astonished giggle. “Oh, you’re too strong.”

Men like that, when they’re too much. It’s one of the tools she’s picked up, always gets them smiling at her with their machismo as she coos about how they’re too strong, too funny, too smart.

This one is no different. He grins like her words mean anything, like he might mean anything to her, and it’s downright pathetic that he’s so willing to believe any of it.

She grips his fingers, and her smile grows sickly sweet.

“But I’m stronger.”

Humans, she finds, are disappointingly simple to bend.

Figuratively and literally.

That night, a young man gets treated for a broken wrist he refuses to explain, and Eve makes out with the cheerleader with the symmetrical face to applause before leaving the party alone.

.....

Her mother stops asking about her dating life after she moves out. Livvy still mentions it, especially when she practices flirting to get what she wants and to keep those muscles from atrophying.

Eve comes up with a different answer every time, keeping the truth to herself.

She’s on the edge of finally leaving, of returning to her true form – she can feel it. To get into some entanglement, to decide on giving anything serious an actual shot now would be a waste and just complicate things. Besides, if she’s expected to commit to something, it better be worthy of her, interesting to her, something other than most of the residents of St. George.

The occasional fling comes her way, and every once in a while, she stumbles on someone who’s interesting enough to pick apart for a bit, dissect until she has them unraveled before her. At some point she goes out with a bartender that her mother doesn’t like for a few months, because it means she gets discounted drinks and spites her mother. It’s the longest relationship she has, and she suspects it’s only because they work opposite hours and don’t actually see each other much.

She breaks it off when she finds out she’s being cheated on.

The bartender is confused when she remains stone-faced and near emotionless throughout the conversation, and Eve shrugs.

“Did you think I cared in the first place?”

Then they start yelling at her and she rolls her eyes, leaving without another word. She only becomes mildly upset when she realizes she can’t go back to that bar, and they had a pretty good happy hour deal.

.....

Jonny Escudero makes just about the worst first impression and she can’t stop thinking about it long after their disaster of a conversation.

He’s tall, which she’s always liked, and there’s a curve to his spine, the hunch that all tall men who don’t actually want to be that tall get. His hair looks soft, if a little greasy, and it’s long enough that she can easily imagine giving it a pull in a less public setting. It’s his eyes that really get her, a shade of green that she hasn’t seen before and that softens the sharp edges of his face.

All in all, he’s interesting to look at, and their Saturday night at Hellbender’s with Roach has her thinking that he’s interesting in plenty other ways, too.

When she visits him at work, he asks her if she’s serious, and she answers quickly and simply that she is. Of course, she’s said that to plenty of people before; it’s an easy lie, one that’s necessary to rope a lot of people in. Besides, words don’t mean much, can be twisted as easily as a wrist, and so she works that ambiguity in her favor. They don’t have to know that she isn’t in it for something as abstract and human as “love,” or “like-like,” or whatever new word they invent to encapsulate a chemical reaction to procreate.

With Jonny, though, the words sit differently in her mouth.

She realizes, belatedly, that it’s a lot closer to the truth than she realized.

Part of it is just her fascination with him going deeper than it has with the others. It’s not that he’s disinterested, but he fumbles so much and keeps his distance in ways that make it much harder to gauge his interest exactly. He’s a challenge, and Eve likes a challenge, and this one comes with a nice face and sharp tongue.

There’s another part, though, that picks at something soft in her.

Because as much as she uses others, she’s also familiar with getting used. For a while, they wanted her status, the story she could offer them to tell their friends about one wild night, how they charmed their way into the tennis skirt of little Miss Popular. Sometimes it was less insidious, someone looking for a genuine connection, but they tried to mold her into it, tried to cut off the parts they didn’t like and make her smaller.

But Jonny doesn’t want anything from her, not really.

It’s actually nice, a lot nicer than she expected. When he looks at her, there’s a weight and warmth to it that’s nice. Talking to him, getting to flow between teasing and debating and just talking to him, is nice. The quiet moments, when they’re sitting close and she leans her head against his shoulder and smells the laundry detergent he uses is nice.

And Eve doesn’t know what to do with nice, with genuine, lasting, impactful nice, the type of nice that distracts her at work and has her thinking up ways to make someone blush in her spare time.

Still, she tells herself that’s all it is – nice. Nothing more, nothing less than a change of pace that’s keeping her occupied and taking the edge off of being actively hunted once more.

.....

By the time she kisses him at Luna Ridge, she can’t pretend it’s a game any longer, can’t pretend she isn’t in this just as much as he is.

It’s not the best kiss she’s ever had, but she gets her fingers in his hair like she’s wanted to for days now, and he’s nervous and responsive and gentle to all her tugging and suddenly it’s the best kiss she’s ever had.

Roach teases her for it, and she rolls over in bed, pretending to fall asleep, but she stays up very late that night, thinking about his voice and his hands and his eyes.

He still doesn’t want anything from her, and she finds that she doesn’t want anything from him.

She just wants him.

And she still doesn’t dare indulge in the human delusion of love.

But she thinks, maybe, the idea of it is nice.

#the passenger #the passenger if #tp newman #tp mc #eve newman #tp livvy #tp jonny #text #im back on my bullshit and just writing over 3k of eve being a menace #she's just been such a fun oc to play with and her relationship with jonny is constantly floating in my brain #it's also me analyzing why having her be a natural flirt that then gets so serious about jonny is in character #bc this is the first relationship she's had that's actually founded on respect #im rambling now but it's just such fun to dissect

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mdomroe-blog1 · 6 years

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TecKed Out

OUTLOOK

Everyone has their own personal favorite social media influencers, whether that be Youtubers like, Keaton Milburn, Fitness Bloggers like Tammy Hembrow, or top models like Hailey Bieber. These three famous influencers have three main characteristics in common. They are tall, skinny, and blonde. Growing up I had a great childhood, I was carefree and never had a second thought about the way I looked. In later middle school when I became a part of the social media world these things changed. I started to see the differences that I had from other girls my age and noticed I never could compete with some girls.

[Keaton Milburn is a 21-year-old social media influencer, courtesy of AZ Foothills.]

I’m not here to tell you that skinny blonde girls need to be exterminated from society or to tell you to stop using social media. I’m writing this blog to raise awareness of future implications extreme social media and technology usage could bring to the next generation of young adults. Compared with other developed nations, Americans are more likely to have a higher amount of screen-time than almost any other western society. According to Common Sense Media, American youth, ages 8-18 spend an average of nine hours using any source of media. Instead of living an active lifestyle and learning lifelong skills, we are training our youth to live behind the screen while emphasizing the importance of technical literacy in the workplace. Brianna Crowley compared the older generation to be more of “digital immigrants’” rather than “digital natives”. However, we are not preparing the “digital natives” for the real world, we are teaching them to live like lifeless computer-oriented zombies. Employers are more inclined to hire someone with both computer and communication skills, however CLIMB professional Development and Training ranked strong communication as the top answer. As a society we need to be conscientious of the negative impact’s technology can bring, so we can work toward a well-rounded lifestyle.

[This illustration shows this woman’s struggle to detach herself from social media. (Thrillist)]

MENTAL HEALTH

In 2014 Nielson performed a study to show the negative effects technology has on the developing teen brain, this study showed how technology has negative effects on sleep patterns, self-confidence, social skills, emotions, and personality in teens. Nielson highlights the negatives of social media as a whole, rather than demonstrate what a person goes through on a more intimate level, which is so important to acknowledge. As technology has risen, personal hatred towards one’s own body became extremely prominent. Girls and boys saw true differences between their bodies and ones of famous influencers, which then made teens try and work towards a more “likeable” image. Teens will do anything to fit in, going anywhere from posting scandalous photos to starving themselves, because that is what their favorite celebrity does. The Girl Scouts Research Institute found that ½ of every teen women wish they were as skinny as fashion models. I think it is horrible to see how many girls are affected by social media, if they weren’t subjected to mass amounts of edited content then maybe it would be easy to differentiate between what is real and what is fake.

Body image is something that usually has a negative connotation. When you’re a teen you have so many different things to worry about. Teens stress about the craziest things, personally I have stressed about how my new perfume smelled for hours. I think with just simple posts a teen can completely misconstrue the meaning behind the initial post and work-up their emotions in response. Our brain has been rewired since I was a kid. According to Stephanie Hertzenberg; from Beliefnet, there is a direct connection between your brains ability to process a large influx of information, and the ability to retain information. This recent catastrophe is referred to as “popcorn brain”, and if the brain is subjected to a large amount of stimuli for long periods of time, then the brain will no longer retain large portions of information.

Not only does over indulgence of social media lead to poor cognitive function it also is a main trigger of anxiety and depression. It is so easy to see posts on your feed and compare the amount of likes you receive to another young teen, but while some of us just see that like as a number others take that number to heart. In 2017 the Child Mind Institute conducted a study that shows 92% of teens use or own a smartphone. The Child Mind Institute also found that in half a million high-schoolers depressive symptoms have increased 33% in a five-year span. In that same time teen girls experienced a 65% increase in suicide rates. Technology is a great thing and allows for millions of people to connect from all over the world, but when people feel bad about themselves after going online then why should we promote its use. We should not let cyberbullying be something in this world that could trigger someone to take their own life. Jennifer Mills; a renowned Canadian Psychologist speaks on body image and says teens "… felt worse about their own appearance after looking at social media pages of someone that they perceived to be more attractive than them...". Many are quick to see negatives within this quotation; however, I believe we need to not see it as a negative but see it as an opportunity to change young tech users outlook when on social media. Instead of viewing it as a competition, we need to teach developing youth that it is a form of finding information on others.

[This photo symbolizes how she sees herself based upon others words, and how they stick on her (Social Media Effecting Body Image).]

TECHNOLOGICAL INNOVATIONS

We have seen our society move up the ladder with new innovations, with large technology companies constantly working towards releasing the newest update. Apple is the leading tech company in the world and is a great example of a company with a fast turnover rate. Within the last decade, we have moved into the realm of smartphones. With technology at our fingertips our citizens live a very efficient lifestyle. You can completely live a paperless lifestyles if truly necessary, but that may lead to a dependence on any given device. Women and men are constantly on popular modes of social media like YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. If our society is on average spending nine hours on a device, then a large amount of that time is spent on social media. Constant time spent on social media updates teens on the newest tech trends being released, this inclines people to buy more and more products that have very little differences. Zac Hall exemplifies the fast technology turnover rate, by showing how every September Apple releases a completely new model, then just makes small adjustments and rebrands throughout the year. This marketing scheme is what makes Apple and other companies so successful, however they do not show how the consumer is constantly updating to stay hip to cultural trends.

[This is a chart that shows the large increase of price on Apple products (Phillipine Peso.]

PERSONAL REFLECTION

When I was a freshmen in high school, I was completely naïve to all the mean girls in school and what their words could do. I was a pretty shy girl and did not really get into deep conversations with “the cool kids”. One day I had class with this beautiful popular girl named Rachel and she was seated in my table group. I was pretty excited to be in a cool table group, and for her to even know my name. A few weeks went by and I thought Rachel and I had really hit it off on multiple occasions. Little did I know that she was purposefully manipulating me for pure enjoyment. I had found out that she posted a photo on her Snapchat story of me wearing shorts with white paint on the butt. This white stain led to many sexual jokes that I was not expecting nor wanting.

In conclusion, although Rachel and I do not talk anymore her words still linger with me to this day. I feel that without the monumental tear to my self-confidence I would not have grown to be a strong independent leader. I am currently writing this from my hotel room where I am staying in Nashville. I was selected to attend a Leadership Conference here and I truly think back to that time where social media destroyed me, and how I have grown from that experience. Overall, I believe technology has allowed us to transform society and grow into what we are today, but without proper guidance it can go extremely bad.

[These are unfortunately the very old shorts that I got made fun of for when I was so young. Ironically, I brought them to wear to bed.]

[This is me and Jacquelyn Kelly pictured above at the Leadership Conference this past weekend.]

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