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#and the reason he was drawn to them enough to do it was because their shapes were so defined!
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i’m PISSED about the way gege handled megumi’s character and i wrote an entire 1k-word analysis/rant on it
i think what makes me especially mad in the way that gege has handled megumi’s character is just in how much set up we were being given. yes, megumi was taken over and suppressed for 50 chapters, but we see how he haunts the narrative.
yuji is CONSTANTLY fighting, working to get him back, it is his MAIN focus in this entire fight. yes, he wants to kill sukuna, but it’s BECAUSE he wants megumi back.
“wake up, fushiguro.” (chapter 251)
i’ll do it as many times as it takes! “wake up, fushiguro!” (chapter 263)
in addition to the long, drawn-out “save megumi” arc, we had megumi’s growth as a character before then. he starts off as someone who does not see value in his life. he would rather sacrifice himself to save his friends bc he believes that their lives are worth more than his.
we see this in how willing he is to throw away his life and summon mahoraga. he’s NOT suicidal, it’s just that he would rather that HE be the one to die than anyone else that he cares about when it comes to a deadly situation (sukuna, finger bearer, etc.)
haruta is an entirely different thing, he was already dying. people who think he was stupid for summoning mahoraga on haruta don’t realize he was literally on the verge of death when haruta pulls up and slashes him from behind.
megumi’s mindset is also PERFECTLY defined in the baseball episode and in his flashback talk with gojo in the OoBO. he’d rather play support and sacrifice himself than have someone else sacrifice themselves for him. he needs to learn to be more selfish, greedier, if he ever wants to grow as a sorcerer.
but that contradicts with how he wants to live. he’s living for tsumiki, he’s a socercer for tsumiki. he doesn’t care about getting strong or being the best, he just wants to do what he can to support her, so he doesn’t mind if he’s the sacrifice play.
until yuji. yuji comes in and he dies in the detention center, and we see meg slowly morph into this desire to become stronger. he wants to be strong so he can save people, which is something that he never really cared about doing before, but he doesn’t know how.
then we get to the exchange event, the fight with hanami, and him getting taken out by the bud curse, and he realizes that he NEEDS to be stronger so he can save people like yuji and tsumiki. this is the start of his arc and after his fight in OoBO, he never summons maho again til shibuya
after shibuya (bc there wasn’t a TON of meg development-focused stuff in that arc), we see he’s had a MAJOR growth in his abilities and CT. he’s a lot more confident in how he fights, he’s very dynamic and cunning, and he’s using the shadows in a new way.
but on the other side of it all, he’s struggling a lot internally. tsumiki is awake, but she’s been roped into the CG. he’s wavering and he needs support. he’s stronger now, but he’s not strong enough. he wants to save tsumiki, but he doesn’t know how.
“so start by saving me, itadori!” (chapter 143)
after megumi is taken over sukuna, we see him fight back. he does originally and he suppresses sukuna’s technique in order to protect yuji. however, sukuna acts specifically in a way to sink his soul and submerges him in darkness.
this is the lowest point on megumi’s character. it leads directly into chapter 251 where megumi has entirely given up. he sees no purpose in living, his entire reason for being a sorcerer is dead. yuji tries to pick him up but sukuna cuts them off and we’re left with megumi no longer wanting to live.
this makes his recovery THAT MUCH more important. this makes his character arc SO MUCH more impactful. this is why whenever we get to ch. 266, and yuji and megumi FINALLY talk, it’s a beautiful convergence of their emotions as they talk about their loss and why they feel the way that they do.
this is why it entirely pisses me OFF that after we finally, FINALLY get megumi back, he is immediately sidelined with the rest of the B cast. we don’t get any post-battle discussions, we don’t get a continuation of “i’ll be lonely without you,” we don’t even get a proper conversation between him and yuji.
all of this buildup, this setup, this constant tension between megumi and yuji saving each other and yuji doing literally anything and everything to get megumi back, it all comes to a boiling point, it’s about to spill over the pot, and then it just… ????
i actually get so SO mad thinking about the way that megumi’s character has been concluded. unless this final chapter really does touch on him, his outlook on life, and his motivations now, megumi’s character was just entirely wasted and thrown to the side of the sake of other conclusions and new plot introductions.
we don’t even get a further explanation of “i’ll try to live for someone else.” we know it’s for yuji, we know he comes back because yuji tells him he’ll be lonely. but megumi deciding to live for another person is just putting him back at square one. UNLESS we learn that it’s different.
maybe meg is living for yuji but without the self-expectation and pressure he had when he was living for tsumiki. maybe he realized that even a simple life is worth living, so he will use yuji as a crutch as he finds his purpose again again.
something. ANYTHING. any sort of convo that indicates that megumi has NOT retracted into his old self. it probably is the case where he chooses to live for yuji, but is determined to live for himself, but JESUS can we not get a convo about that????
in conclusion, megumi’s character has been so BEAUTIFULLY written. he is so tragic with so many complex motivations and ideas. and we get all this converging together at the very end and it just… disappears. it’s immediately sidelined. how fucking frustrating is that.
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howlsofbloodhounds · 2 days
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Small biology rant
I dont really get how people made the one way skeletons reproduce is an ecto body
Like i get yall want nsfw but like be creative
Because honestly in my head monsters do it with souls, that makes sense to me. Not everyone has..the equipment, but everyone has a soul (well not ink, but yk)
If you want them to have ecto bodies it'd make more sense for it to be as protection, their soul is in their ribcage but without a shirt you could probably just grab it if you're fast enough- same things with their bones, if you're strong enough it's incredibly easy to break their ribs. With an ecto body their bones and souls are protected
Anyways that was my rant
Yeah I always personally viewed the possibility of reproduction for monsters to mostly just have something to do with the souls, and things like ecto—mostly for skeleton monsters (or those who are bodily skeleton monsters, in killers case)—are for as you said, protection, but could also be as a form of self expression (if ecto is really just magic used in a certain way), and also just to experience physical pleasure and intimacy.
Perhaps the ecto also helps to keep fractured, broken, or frail bones/body safe either all the time (such as in the case of Color’s frail body and abundance of magic due to his six souls), or just when it’s too broken and needs extra cushion if it can’t seem to heal naturally (such as killer, who very likely experiences frequent injuries and broken bones but either isn’t given/allowed or just doesn’t take time to heal in any significant way. so perhaps sometimes his magic forces him to maintain an ecto body to protect bones that need to heal but are not being allowed to.)
Or in some cases (killer), a source of experimentation, and a way to cause further self harm.
Especially if, ectos are usually used a way to protect a skeleton monster’s body and soul (and also therefore the monster’s developing baby/babies if they are pregnant and the “fetus” is housed in/around the soul), but for some reason, Killers own ecto just doesn’t protect his soul anymore.
His soul floats keeps floating outside his body, exposed and vulnerable, for everyone to see or just reach out and try to touch and take. (Yet another reason why someone holding his soul in their ribcage for him, summoning an ecto to keep it (him) safe, is a very appealing thought.)
(and yet his own ecto refusing to keep him safe is yet another way the body he’s stuck in just keeps betraying him. as if it doesn’t recognize him and keeps rejecting him. like it’s trying to kill him even as it protects itself.)
In the case of ink, who does not have a soul they need to protect, i think it’d be cool if he primarily uses their ecto as a form of self expression. Maybe he finds a way to change its color whenever they want, or perhaps draw on it as if giving it tattoos. maybe ink’s ecto can kinda have something like vitiligo too like I often see them drawn in a human form.
{ @brokenramunebottle }
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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Tis but a flesh wound!
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penn-dragon · 1 year
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Kyoko still regularly visits the Corn clearing because it's her happy place, and early into the production Ren goes to visit the spot for nostalgia and happy memories. They run into each other there and Ren immediately realizes who she is
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good-beanswrites · 8 months
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hi! may i request some mikoto + amane (platonic obvs) … anything? they are very dear to me 😭
Yes!!! Thank you so much for the request -- they really are such a good pair ;-; (The thing is, I had so many nice scenes in mind about how they parallel each other, but they wouldn't know or reveal that about each other so I kept restarting...) Anyway, here's something right after Mikoto's first trial/verdict!
Mikoto could pick up on someone’s bad mood from a mile away, though the skill was unnecessary when the other party very clearly and calmly informed him, “I’m in a bad mood.”
After refusing his offer, Amane turned back to a thick textbook she’d been taking notes on. Didn’t kids usually complain that school was already a prison? She must have wanted the full experience. He'd worked nonstop at his studies as well, but this was a new level. Amane often reminded him of his little sister, though she always took the extra step like this. His sister would have jumped at this opportunity to play a few rounds of their favorite card game.
“It’ll be fun!”
He flashed a smile, but it had no effect on her severe expression. “I know you’re just trying to comfort me about our verdicts. I refuse to be pitied.”
“Comfort and pity are two very different things. But anyway, it wasn’t either of those things.” He gave an easy shrug “To be honest, I’m just a little bored. It’s weird not having any work to do during the day.” 
Mikoto couldn’t remember the last time in his life he’d had so many hours to himself. A lot of the others were fun to play games with. A few of the sportier prisoners helped him stay active. He enjoyed smoking breaks with the other men. Still, he was left to his own devices for the majority of his time. It was maddening. He’d recently requested some more art supplies, having used up the last batch, but they had yet to come in. Now with the verdict announcement, he wasn’t sure they’d ever arrive.
“That is your own problem. I already have something to do.” Her eyes lingered on the cards for the briefest of moments before returning to the book. “I told you, I’m not in the mood for it.”
Regardless of her hostility, he took a seat beside her. He leaned his arms out on the table. “We don’t have to play the same game.” The last time they'd played as a big group, several prisoners pulling the tables together to fit everyone. Amane had kept very quiet, eyes darting around at the cards as she tried to keep up with the rules. Not many of the others noticed the frustration clear in her face. Mikoto wasn’t the type to let her win out of pity, though he had begun to mutter the rules and strategies to himself a bit more as the night went on… 
“Is there a game you liked to play at home?”
 “No. There was no time for games in the house.” 
“All work and no play… hah… I know what that’s like.” He slumped his cheek onto his arm, lazily shuffling the cards around. He felt bad for bothering the girl if she truly was upset. He thought it was the bad experience that made her reject him, he hadn’t realized there were also family issues attached. Usually he could read people well; maybe he was losing his touch. He seemed to be losing touch with a lot of things, these days.
He readied a game of solitaire. 
“Mikoto?” Amane kept her face turned away. “There was… one game.”
“Yeah?” Mikoto shuffled the cards back together. He slid them over to her. “You should teach me!” 
She didn’t touch them. “You probably already know it.”
“Nah, I only know a few games. I’m better with tarot cards, though those aren’t really the gaming type. Come on, what is it?”
She told him the name of the game, insisting it wouldn’t be worth playing. She kept her attention on the textbook, but her eyes weren’t reading any of it. 
“Ahh, I’ve heard of that one! We start with four cards, right?” He started dealing them out.
“No, five –” she pointed to the deck, urging him to add two more. 
“Right, right.” He laughed lightly. “And the goal is to get pairs, and put them in a pile, uhh, here.”
Amane shook her head. She shifted her body slightly towards him. “You must be thinking of a different game. There’s actually three piles for pairs. One here, one here, and when it’s your opponent’s turn…” 
Her eyes gleamed as she explained the rules. She pointed to various cards, telling him exact moves and point values. “And to win, you need to –” Her expression shifted. “You… you already knew all this.”
“Of course not!” He put on his most convincing smile. 
She deflated. “You’re not a very good liar.”
“Tch, tell that to the warden.”
His shoulders sagged along with her. If Amane could see right through him, why was the rest of Milgram still coming up with stories about what he did and didn’t do? “Well, I might already know the rules, but it’s been a long time since I’ve played. You can still give me a hand. Plus, if you really are in such a bad mood, it’ll be good to take a break from your studies. You should always take a break when things get too overwhelming, yeah?”
She gave him a withering stare.
“Eh? What’s that face for?”
“Alright, let’s play. You can go first.”
“I mean it, what was that look? Aw, come on…”
#milgram#mikoto kayano#amane momose#see - the thing is they both had crimes about 'protecting themself' but both would deny it was for that reason#they both seem to have some family trauma but would never admit it#theyre both used to putting on their best behavior and being 'good' for others but hardly realize that themselves#they are both in denial all the time !!!!!#so i tried to show them getting along for their own perceived reasons -- mikoto thinks he likes her because she reminds him of his sister#and amane thinks she likes him because hes being kind about their verdicts#and while both are right theyre Also drawn to each other because they are very similar at their core#and both have skills with reading people/picking up on cues making it tough to lie to one another#that forced honesty makes for a solid friendship haha!#i also remember a comment from yamanaka that amane would be the worst at card games because shed have trouble with the rules#she seems old enough to handle complex games but she probably never got to play a lot at home ;---; and mikoto probably learns a lot of#types of games (and tarot) so can connect with even more people#i thought long and hard on whether mikoto would let someone else win but he doesnt seem the type (plus amane would notice)#once again i know amane starts speaking in the plural but this comes a bit before that#yaay thank you so much for the request! this was really fun to do - i hope you enjoy!#ive thought a lot about amane and john but less on her and mikoto lol so this was nice :D#drabbles
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naivety · 6 months
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the thing is. the thing is that silver really thought thomas would be enough for flint to give up his cause of his own volition, his very essence for the last decade of his life, even just hypothetically, and dared to ask if he himself would be enough for madi to give up her's because they were enough for silver to do it first. the entire shape of long john silver was built on causes he didn't even care about because they cared about them first, and he cared about them. he remade himself for them like rocks under water to the point he didn't realize he truly thought they might do the same until it was too late. the thing is he was only able to reshape himself so easily around them because he had no original shape to begin with.
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blue-eli · 1 year
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Is this even a game
if it the end I let you kill me?
I was never meant to be by your side.
~ In Two, Will Paquin
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muu-kun · 1 year
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#; ♡ ; okay to reblog#muu has admittedly been describing is self perceived melancholy and isolation regarding it#as being comparable to the circle drawn around Sadness in Inside Out due to others finding his emotions to be Too Much in capacity#and that as such he has thus been persistently trying to make himself very very small in spaces#so that maybe perhaps someone would soon be able to reside in the circle with him just until he gets to where he feels he is supposed to be#muu has also stated on numerous actions that while he is adamant about self healing he is not necessarily of preference#to not have the assistance of peers and their feedback and he tends he show it most predominantly in asking them to hear Everything#about himself in the form of the big box because one he wants assurances at the end of it all but also because he Has to be explaining#his processes of thought and general state of where he is now to people so that they may go Oh so that why you do the neurotic shit you do#but it really be hard out here when you don't know how to self advocate for a persistently emotionally present romantic partner#you don't really have any friends and you are either God awful at making new ones or you don't want to try for reasons of either#feeling scorned past close friends of yours have left time and time again OR#because you don't know what version of yourself is the Real one or the Good one or the Authentic one so you avoid socializing#until you can properly answer that dilemma but in turn you've left yourself with 1 person to seek out and talk to#but with that comes the existential dread of either a this person is also going to leave me or#b I am in fact so totally codependent on them that it isn't fair to be my sole research for assistance that I ought to fend for myself#but what do you even do to fend for yourself when you don't even know how to Advocate for yourself??#you devise a plan to shrink down and provide no indication to those around you that you are struggling with anything#that perhaps shriveling yourself down like that will allow for people to find you tolerable enough to be around#and that their presences will patch up every interpersonal wound in your system until eventually what you are faking has come true#; ♡ ; inner thoughts
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lgbtlunaverse · 4 months
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I've seen a good number of people ask a question along the lines of "why do characters like Falin and hate Laios when they're so similar?" and i've also seen good analysis on the differences in how the touden siblings carry themselves that would, despite their shared traits, make a person gravitate to one more than the other.
But i feel like we've overseen one very central thing here.
People don't like Falin
Like... the average person in dungeon meshi doesn't like Falin. She was deeply ostrasized by her home village, in magic school she had zero friends before Marcille and the others generally saw her as strange and a bit offputting.
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Characters like Namari and Chilchuck like her well enough but not necessarily more than any other member of their party, including Laios. Neither Kabru nor his party think much of her. The canaries don't give a fuck about her. Toshiro's retainers don't see her as anything else than the weird foreign girl their boss has a crush on.
The reason we think everyone loves Falin is because, despite all the indifferent side characters, the 2 most important and central characters of the story are Laios and Marcille. Who are NOT representative of the average attitudes to Falin! But necromancy georg number 1 and 2 are our main eyes into the story and they love Falin so much that it colours our perspective of the whole world.
The only side character who qualifies as liking Falin and not Laios is Toshiro (at least at first, as he ends the story on much better terms with Laios) and that says a lot about his character, with him drifting to the quiet Falin precisely because of her oddness but being both uncomfortable with and deeply jealous of Laios' much more open expression of that oddness. Because he's a repressed guy from a culture where etiquette is incredibly important.
But like I said, that's a specific aspect of him, not to the world at large.
Because there's also people that click more with laios than with Falin.
Kabru, for one, who is initially distrustful of laios but clearly also deeply fascinated by him and drawn to him.
Minor spoilers, and you don't have to read too deeply into this, because I don't think Kabru particularly dislikes Falin or anything. But it's interesting that when he talks about his distrust of the toudens in ch.32 he's talking about them both. But his big friendship declaration in chapter 76 is aimed squarely at Laios, he doesn't say "you and your sister" he says "you"
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And Senshi!! He instantly clicks with Laios, well before he does so with anyone else in the party– who he also becomes friends with, it just takes a bit longer– specifically because they bond over their shared special interest in monsters!! Senshi is kind towards Falin and cares for her wellbeing, but he also... doesn't know her. The reason he is even here, helping to save her, is because he and Laios bonded over monsters and he wants to help his new friends out!
Of course, the theme of neurodivergent isolation is very present in Laios' story. I'm not denying that. He does turn people off, without meaning to and unable to fully understand why! But so does Falin. And just like there are people who like her despite of or even because of those traits, there are people who do the same with him.
In conclusion: "Average person loves Falin and hates Laios" factoid actually statistical error. Average person is neutral on both Falin and Laios. Georcille, Laiorg and Geoshiro, who live in the dungeon and think over 10,000 Falin-loving thoughts a day, are statistical outliers adn should not have been counted.
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arolesbianism · 6 months
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hello gamers minor life update I have been doing Real bad lately so I will likely continue to be very inactive, but hey on the bright side I have been fleshing out some eternal gales lore I reworked a while back and I can happily say that Dodie no longer completely contradicts the very nature of reality in eternal gales and the fog tower™ officially has a real reason to exist again so hell yeah to that
#rat rambles#eternal gales#oc posting#this is a piece of lore I technically updated a while ago but I mostly just relocated dodie home to a different piece of worldbuilding#but now Im fleshing things out a bit more and Im so glad that I set myself up such an easy way to jump ship on the old stuff#it also makes my life easier because it means that I have an actual reason for mase to be the first person dodie encounters in person#also an actual reason to trap him at first sorry dude it adds to the suspense#longggggg story short dodie lives in the universe's core of sorts#its where all the other characters are transported to at the beginning of the story due to other stuff#I already had it as a thing that the core attempts to replicate the casts home and food and such to help maintain them#but the fog tower™ had its core echo in place since forever basically#mostly because the narrator wanted to get dodie a home set up in the core instead of having to find a way to house her in notmal society#now the tower wasnt exactly meant to be found but it still had to be real enough to actually get echoed so it was real enough to be found#hense why mase's family lives in the lower half of it#the top half is fully reserved for setting up stuff to be echoed to dodie's tower#this is mostly handled my cup aka dodie's long distance mom figure#but most of that stuff was done before dodie was properly created and as such cup had to fight for their life to figure out how to best get#this child growing up in fucked up situations as happy and stable as they could with limited budget and time#they were also dealing with doing a lot of this behind the backs of mase's parents as the two wanted them to provide just the bare basics#despite this cup managed to sneak in a shit ton more video tapes than they were supposed to and attempted to cover as much as possible#ofc dodie still ended up incredibly unstable and fucked up anways but she still loves her long distance video mom dearly#up til she was like 12 or so those tapes were the only way she could see and hear another person#but yeah in the echoed version the lower half of the tower is mostly consumed by plantlife and the such#hense why dodie avoids the area like the plague she has hashtag issues regarding plants#oh yeah Ive also been thinking abt fydd a lot lately#I have been slowly developing a bit of a side plot for him in my head that Im not 100% sure Im going to commit to but Im mivrowaving it#basically I was thinking abt each of the human casts sort of quote unquote domains are#by that I mean the whole reason they get drawn to the universe core is because theyre all sorta connected to universe functions#fydd is one of the weird ones because his place in the system is the basic software ig would be the best way to put it?#hes connected to the very base of the system that the rest of the functions are built into
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gibbearish · 9 months
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to anyone watching the james somerton situation and going "well how DO you write your own things like this then? everyone's talking about how /not/ to but i dont know where to start, the way highschool taught me essay writing was all about the number of sentences in a paragraph and mla citations :("
you know how james made things up between his """sources""" that sounded just plausible enough that people accepted it? he did it in the wrong order, do that part first THEN research. 100% serious right now, just make some shit up in your head that sounds vaguely right based on what you know now, write it down, and then go check if you're actually right or not. boom, now you have a topic. thats literally all it is, its just you saying "i think (xyz)" and then checking to see if the facts agree with you or not. if you turn out to be right, talk about what lead you to the conclusion initially and anything you learned about that you didn't predict. if you turn out to be wrong, talk about the right answer and examine why you thought differently at first. then either way talk about how things got that way, if you think it should stay like that, and why (e.g. how does it being that way effect people right now). tada suddenly you have an essay that is unplagiarized and entirely your own thoughts, with a plethora of sources on hand to cite because That's What You Used To Check. now be free your beautiful doves
#obviously its not actually that easy but thats how it tends to feel after the fact KENFKSBFKBSKFBDJ#like presumably the reason youre writing it is because youre excited about the topic right? so show other people what was#so exciting about it to you#if the research made you go 'no way no way no way this is insane' freak out about it onto the page#(esp if youre aiming for youtube‚ obv if youre actually doing professional writing dont make it Too Out There but still keep the energy)#act like youre showing a friend and you also want them to go no way no way no way this is insane#thats the frustrating part abt james is its like. you can tell he kind of does have a bit of that deep down#like the 'current body standards come from nazis' thing just Stated like that is absolutely misinformation#but '/do/ current body standards come from nazis' is a topic i could see absolutely being a thing#like with 0 context it sounds plausible enough on its own‚ they had weird body standards and we have weird body standards#and its not like there arent other things at the very least america decided to keep around from them and i imagine canada#wasnt much better given all ive heard abt their history#so its like james that couldve been your discussion topic!! that couldve been your thesis you couldve explored that!!!!#you could've said 'i think these standards come from here and here's why' and broken it down and drawn connections to show people why you#think that!!!!!#but no he just horks it up into the filler without a thought and moves on with his day#sorry just rewatching the todd video and the podcaster at the start refers to it at james 'making the connection' between#those things and it just struck me like. huh yeah misinformation and theorizing are only really separated by#putting a question mark at the end sometimes#obv its way more nuanced than that in general but with one isolated statement like that you can see how thin#that tipping point is#and that just makes it 1000x more frustrating bc it's like you were so close! you were so close to coming up with an interesting#question to ask and perspective to offer!!! and then you just DODGED AROUND IT doing basically the same amount of work anyways?#in pursuit of laziness???????????#absolutely mystifying#ah apologies the podcaster says 'does the cultural connection' but same diff#and it was modern fitness culture not body image standards in general#theres been a lot of info going thru my brain recently phrasing details get lost in the weeds sometimes kwbfkshfksh#james somerton#hbomberguy
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isildheir · 10 months
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Honestly, my abuser saying Louis was just as bad as Lestat or basically implying they hate how people write Lestat off as more abusive than he is or that Louis was just as abusive was a red flag I should've put a lot more stock into.
#The guy was Empathizing with a capital E.#God hold me back cuz I LAUGH at them. Abuser all weh u..abused me..cuz...u called me stupid and annoying when I wouldn't let u leave me#after ur 30239929292th attempt#Youre abusive cuz...u made me feel so unloved when you kept trying to leave me! :'(((#LMAOAOOA yeah if thats abuse then slap my ass and call me sally cuz ill always try to leave you#You fuckin insane psychopath. constantly putting damn words in my mouth and telling ME what i ACTUALLY mean#you dont care about anything i have to say. you need to be the one slighted to justify why you feel so offended 24/7.#dude u wanna be a fucking victim so bad then fuckin be my guest u fuckin miserable sick sad sack of absolute dog shit#always calling me a liar and putting me on the podium to state my case infinite times till you hammered me into gaslighting myself#to support your interpretation. go to hell.#you are chronically miserable for a reason. and you will NEVER find reprieve in that. EVER. just as you deserve.#YOU made me start therapy because of the CONSTANT confusion and emotional trauma i endured with you.#YOU made me cry all the time at work.#YOU gave me chest pains and difficulty breathing. just seeing YOUR DAMN NAME on my phone gave me panic attacks#YOU did so much FUCKED UP SHIT to me and you NEVER ACCEPTED ANY REALITY BUT ME HURTING YOU ON PURPOSE#you literally tell me 24/7 i dont care about you and i would drop THOUSANDS of dollars on you#AND FUCKIN WATCH UR SHOWS 3 TIMES IN A ROW#AND CALL AND TEXT U EVERY NIGHT. SIT AND HELP YOU PREP FOR JOB INTERVIEWS.#I DREW UR DAMN OC SO OFTEN HE PRACTICALLY BECAME MY MOST DRAWN CHARACTER#I DID SO MUCH TO SHOW U I CARED. BE IT GIFTS. MONEY. BE IT TIME. BE IT HELPING IN#UR VTUBING CAREER U WANTED TO START.#BE IT SPENDING NIGHTS SOMETIMES TILL 6AM JUST MAKING SURE YOU'RE OKAY.#I JUST. DID. SO. FUCKING. MUCH. IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU DIE. SUFFER. BURN IN HELL.#I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I WILL NEVER STOP HATING YOU.#I GAVE YOU SO MUCH. I WAS HAPPY TO TOO. WHAT A FOOL I WAS. NOTHING I DID WAS EVER ENOUGH. YOU ALWAYS HAD TO FUCKIN COMPARE#OR GET JEALOUS WHEN I SPENT ONE SECOND WITH ANYONE ELSE#U NEEDED TO GRILL ME FOR EVERYTHING#ASK WHO I WAS WITH#NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING JUST IN CASE IT WAS SOMEONE YOU DIDNT LIKE#UR FUCKIN ABSURD. UR INSANE. ROT IN HELL. FUCKIN GET TORN APART DOWN THERE. I HOPE YOU SUFFER. I WANT TO WATCH. I WILL LAUGH.
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atrirose · 6 months
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𝒥 : PLACES THEY LOVE TO KISS — enha
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はい bf!enha x f!r . . . 🍵 warning. kissing duh ! + FLUFF ★ seiu msg: wanna get back on to writing stuff soon in the mean time enjoy this! rbs/feedbacks are appreciated
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— HEESEUNG LEE
heeseung loves kissing your neck because he knows it gets you hot and bothered, he loves the sudden shocked squeak you let out when he random kisses your neck, he came behind you, gracing his cold lips on your neck “AH what’s wrong with you seung” you turned towards him, your hand on the place he kissed “my lips are cold, i ate ice cream” he said pulling you back “so?”
“so i gotta warm them up” he said as he bit ur neck lightly, kissing it, his breath leaving tingling feels down your spine, something about neck kisses just makes you feel light headed “i know you love it princess” he whispered, his hands roaming around your body as he blabbers like a loser.
— JAY PARK
jay loves kissing your lips, though it very common but for him it is special, he love the feeling of his lips against yours, especially after you put on lipgloss or lipstick “jayyyy i just put it on, look it’s all smeared and on your lips too” you said frustrated as you try to fix your lipstick, “it’s a nice colour i like it on you” he said snaking his hands again around your waist as he turns you around “doesn’t give you an excuse to ruin it, and we have to go or else we will be late to the party” you said resisting his touch as he leaned over again.
“doesn’t matter” he said as his lips moved against yours, his hands around you waist, him teasing your lips by lightly nipping on it, your hands in his hair tousling it.
“we got stuck in the traffic sorry” he said to his friend as you shot him glares, did i forget to tell you that he loves kissing you when you are mad at him? works like a charm, all the anger goes poof.
— JAKE SIM
jake loves to nom on your cheeks , he says it’s like bread. he loves to peck your cheeks at any given moment, or just have his face smooshed by yours, if he could he could live under your skin. jake likes to bite your cheeks while pecking them despite being warned a hundred times to not, but how can you resist his puppy eyes.
sometimes he get this kissing aggression towards you where he just keep on kissing and giggling as you try to escape him “jake too much” you say as he kissed you all over your face, “not enough” he said as he continues smooching your cheeks, biting them “nom, you taste like strawberries” jake hugs you as he calms down, cuddling you.
— SUNGHOON PARK
he loves collarbone kisses, loves to randomly feather kisses around your collarbone while cuddling, exact reason that despite being so tall he like you be a small spoon most of the times, likes to be a princess “hoon it tickles” you said as he pressed kisses, he loves when you wear off shoulder as he gives him easy excess but if not then he just pulls the piece of clothing you are wearing to expose your collarbone, now that has gotten him in trouble when he accidentally rip your clothing’s neckline but that obviously never stopped him.
“i will get you more mmm” he said as he kept kissing you, he loves to inhale the soft and mild scent of your perfume.
— SUNOO KIM
loves to kiss your forehead, to appreciate even the smallest of things you do for him, while that’s very sweet of him and you love it with all your heart, there are times when he likes to annoy you by kissing you after applying your lip tint so now you have kiss mark on your forehead, or kissing it and then telling how small you are.
towers over you sometimes so you look up at him and he can kiss your forehead.
“i got nice scores this time” you told sunoo as he smiles and kisses you forehead “im proud of you love”
— JUNGWON YANG
he likes to kiss your nose, just a little boop to make you laugh, you talking about your day? oh he is so in love, boop, you are cooking? he is drawn in by your beauty, boop, you are just laying around? you look so cute, he can’t believe you are his, boop.
“why do you like kissing my nose so much” he looks at you as he smiles, eyes closing like a cat as he kisses your nose “because you are cute” it’s a way he expresses his love, it’s his way of saying he treasures you and a simple expression of his limitless love for you
— RIKI NISHIMURA
he loves to bury his face in your neck after a long day and kiss your shoulders, just like sunghoon he loves when you wear off shoulder dress or else he just pulls on them, but lucky for him you wear his oversized hoodies all the time so it’s easy to gain excess, sometimes it’s hard to express who he feels, or how much he loves you so he just kisses your shoulder and hope you understand his attempt to say ‘i love you’s’.
“what’s wrong baby” you asked as you played with hair as he buried his face in the crook of your neck “just tired” he said nuzzling “aww poor baby” you said as you kissed his head “you better not tell how act with you” he warned you still kissing your shoulders.
“like a baby? AHH-” your giggles turned into sudden shock as he bites you “oh that left a mark” you smacked him with a pillow as he laughed and dodged it “not tired anymore huh?” you said pouting moving away from him just to get pulled back to his lap “i am” he pecked you “meanie” he snicked at your pouty lips before kissing it.
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snapdragons mean i'm sorry
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summary: you own a flower shop down the street from Wade and Althea, and now Logan's apartment. You and Logan had grown quite close, until you hear him complaining about you through the door. A week later, he shows up at the shop, groveling wc: 2.0 k a/n: sorry about the delay with this one, things have been a bit crazy! I really enjoyed writing for worst!Logan, I think I'm considering a part two for this as well. This fic is based on this request! warnings: lots of hurt and comfort, reader uses she/her pronouns, confused and groveling Logan, Wade being a meddler, slight spoilers for the end of Deadpool and Wolverine
You were two seconds away from chucking the bouquet that you were working on clear across the room. Instead, you gently set the flowers down on your workbench and tightened your pony tail. Heaving a sigh, you snatched the broom out of it’s place leaning up against the doorway and made you way to the front of store. 
Usually, being surrounded by all of your flowers and specially curated knickknacks brought you a sense of peace. But so far today you’d broken two vases and stabbed your thumb on rose thorns maybe more than you’d ever done in your entire life. 
Being friends with a superhero (singular) was much less stressful than you’d thought it would be. Wade would stop in to the shop around once a week to buy flowers for Vanessa, always with a quick joke or two before being on his way. It wasn’t until he’d saved you from an attempted mugging a few years back that you’d really become close. And you’d been there for a lot. Through his break up with Vanessa, when he was nonstop moaning about how deeply he hated selling lightly used cars, and whenever he needed a second opinion about a new hair system he was perched on a second stool that now had permanent residence behind the counter, right next to yours. 
Being friends with superheroes (plural) was bringing a new host of issues. Namely, an accelerated heart rate and trouble forming your words in front of Wade’s new roommate. Wade had warned you that his new acquisition was prickly when he’d stopped over to invite you to the Welcome Home Pizza Party Palooza, according to the hand drawn invitation he’d proudly presented you. He’d lured you in with promises of meeting his new dog before dropping the bomb that there was an introduction to his roommate included in the package deal. You’d already agreed, and Wade was too busy rambling about how you were being moved up to from side character status for you to intercede with a made up reason you could no longer attend. 
You historically didn’t do well with meeting new people, and someone who was likely to snap at you at some point throughout the evening, by Wade’s estimations, was an even bigger hurdle. Even though you had worked yourself up enough to feel slightly sick to your stomach, you’d arrived at the party, armed with flowers for the new roommate and a mini bouquet of dog treats for Mary Puppins. Wade and Al’s apartment was full of familiar faces when you’d arrived. You were caught up in a conversation with Peter and Yukio for a few minutes before they’d asked about the flowers all but forgotten in your hands. You admitted they were a welcome home present, and Peter kindly pointed out where Logan was standing across the room. You’d thanked him, and made your way across the room. 
When you reached him in the kitchen, you stood quietly behind him, working up the courage to make your presence known. Ultimately, it was unnecessary, because he quickly turned around and greeted you with a crinkly-eyed smile that made your heart flutter against your better judgement. You’d shyly handed over the flowers, stuttering through the explanation of owning the shop down the street and apologizing preemptively if he didn’t like them, expecting a strong rebuttal. He certainly looked like the type of man to rebuff the offer of flowers in fear of appearing unmanly or some other nonsense. Instead, he took the flowers from you gently, thanking you. He turned away, searching through the cabinets before pulling out a novelty beer stein decorated with My Little Pony characters with a huff. Logan made quick work of depositing the bouquet in the beer stein, but he frowned at his work, clearly unhappy with the vase options. “So you’re the florist that he’s obsessed with.” 
You smiled to yourself, glad to hear that Wade wasn’t only kind to your face. “Are you kidding me?” Speak of the devil. Wade slung an arm around your shoulders, depositing your typical drink of choice in your hand. “More like worship the ground you walk on. I may be Marvel Jesus but I’m your disciple. The things she can do with a chrysanthemum.” He moaned in a way you had never heard someone while talking about a flower, of all things.
Logan shook his head, but before either of you could respond, Wade noticed Vanessa coming through the door and was at her side in an instant. You’d stood with him in the kitchen for a few moments, silent but comfortable. It wasn’t long before Althea had called everyone to the table, where you took your usual seat next to Althea and Vanessa. The evening had been comfortable and you couldn’t help but notice how naturally Logan and his daughter Laura fit into your strange little family. 
The next day, you’d stopped by their apartment armed with another bouquet, this one beautifully arranged in one of your favorite vases you kept in stock. You couldn’t shake the image of how disappointed Logan had looked with his options the previous night. Al had ushered you inside quickly, letting you know that the rest of the roommates had left her in the name of picking up some necessities for Logan. You’d dropped the vase on the kitchen counter, ruffled Mary Puppins’ hair and saw yourself out. 
Logan had come by to thank you at the store, startling you where you were working in the back. You’d fumbled one of your vases, sending it crashing to the ground. Logan was quick to usher you onto a stool, locating a broom and making quick work of the glass. You’d insisted you could take care of it, but he’d shot your down insisting that he would heal right up if he managed to cut himself and he didn’t feel like a trip to the ER. It should have stung, but there was a lightness to his voice and a twinkle in his eyes that instead had you fighting down the hear rising to your cheeks. 
After a few weeks, it was routine for you to stop by a couple nights a week after work, armed with a fresh set of flowers for the vase and some take out. Logan very well could have taken some home with him, as often as he was stopping by, but somehow you’d always get to talking and forget to bundle some up for him. He was immensely helpful around the shop, able to reach things on high shelves and move heavy pallets you would get in much more easily than you were able to. Wade’s stool had quickly become Logan’s but you didn’t much mind. 
Your hand had settled on the doorknob to their apartment, when two familiar voices faded in through the closed door. It was instinct to pause, you hand’t really meant to snoop. But the words hurt all the same. “I really am fond of her, but she could really stand to let up on how often she’s hanging around me.” Your heart started to hammer, frozen in the hallway. 
“I hear you peanut,” Wade was quick to respond. “Cling-ville USA, population her, amiright?” 
“Fuck off, you’ve been obsessed with her as long as I’ve known you.” Your heart sunk. Isn’t that what Logan had said, the first night you met? Wade was obsessed with you? As quietly as you could, you dropped your hand from the doorknob and backed away down the hall, hoping that their conversation was loud enough to drown out the sound of your retreating footsteps. You’d retreated down the hallway, quickly shooting Wade a text that you weren’t feeling well and wouldn’t be able to make it. 
You hadn’t seen them since. You knew it shouldn’t have mattered, but it stung. You’d moved their stool into the far back corner of the shop because as silly as it sounded, it made you sad to look at him. Thankfully, there had been a steady stream of customers to keep you busy for a while. But now, you were dead and your thoughts were drifting when the bell on the front door rang. You sent a silent thank you to the universe and rushed out to the front of the store. But the customer waiting for you was the only one you were reluctant to see. 
You hated to admit it, but the image of Logan standing in the middle of your showroom, shoulders slumped and one of the most regretful looks you’d ever seen on anyone was almost enough for you to forgive him on sight. Close but no cigar, one could say.   
“Hey, sweetheart” he said sheepishly, hands shoved into this pockets. 
If this is how he was going to play it, so be it. “Hey, Lo. Where’ve you been?”
“Laura needed some help at the mansion, and they roped us into a mission. Meant to call but,” he shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. “Got a bit busy.” You nodded, doing your best to remember that you were mad at him. Stopped by for some flowers, if you have a minute.”
You nodded curtly, shocked that he wasn’t bringing up the obvious tension. He wasn’t one to beat around the bush. “What kind are you looking for?” 
“Eh, whatever you think says ‘Sorry, I fucked up’ the best” he shrugged, making his way behind the counter. 
“Who else did you piss off?” You asked, arranging a few more pieces of greenery into the bouquet he had requested. Even if you were frustrated and moody, you couldn’t bring yourself to make something you weren’t proud of. 
“Where’s my seat sweetheart?” He asked, before taking a pause. “What do you mean who else?” He asked, cocking his head to the side. 
“What do you mean ‘where’s my seat’?” You mocked, doing a poor imitation of his gruff voice. 
“Okay, you’ve gotta catch me up here, sweetheart because I clearly missed something.” 
“Wouldn’t wanna cling on too hard, are you sure you want me to do that?” You snarked, dropping the bouquet on the table and storming over to him, poking your finger into his chest. “I heard the both of you complaining about me last week.” 
Logan’s hand wrapped around yours, drawing it closer to his chest. “I was coming in here to apologize for being gone for a week. But I’m happy to double the order to make up for the confusion. If my math is right, bub, you overheard me complaining about that fucking dog insisting on sleeping on my bed. Even after I told Wade to keep her out of my room.” 
“You love her.” 
“Yeah, you know me too well sweetheart.” 
You smiled up at him, soaking in the warmth of having him this close, when something clicks in your head. “Are you telling me that you waltzed in here and asked me to make my own apology flowers?” If you hadn’t already decided he was off the hook, the way his mouth turned down into a little pout would have sealed the deal. 
He hesitates for a few moments, eyes glancing around the shop seemingly in search of an answer. “Didn’t want to give the business to someone else.” He shrugged, bashfully.  
Against your better judgement, a few giggles slipped past your lips, which had been firmly pressed together. A few more, and then you were laughing so hard you were having trouble breathing. You leaned your head against his chest, taking measured deep breaths to curve the laughter “I can’t believe this,” you gasped, wiping a few tears away that had spilled onto your cheeks.  You grinned up at him through the tears, taking in the way his eyes warmed when he smiled. 
“Could have been worse,” he shrugged, mischief making his eyes sparkle. “Could have gone with Wade’s suggestion.”
“I have to know.” 
He slipped both his arms around you, pulling you in close. “Wanted me to jump out of a cake.” 
You snuggled in close, leaning your head on his chest. “I would like to see it.” 
“Then we’ll have to see what we can do about that.” 
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reiderwriter · 4 months
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🫂 Transference 🫂
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x virgin!Fem Reader
For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge 2024
Summary: He saves your life, and he keeps saving it every day, but Spencer won't let you love him until you finally beg him to. Is transference really that much of an issue?
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Mentions of Case details - reader is the unsub victim, mentions of rape and attempted rape, gunshot, death, kidnapping, imprisonment, parental neglect, abandonment, loss of virginity (positive), semi-public sex, bathroom sex, fingering, penetrative sex (p in v), missionary, praise kink (good girl), moaning kink (?), safe sex, slight cum play/ oral, aftercare.
A/N: I wrote a virgin reader fic for kinktober that people loved a lot (thank you all!), and I had a lot of requests for something similar, so please - enjoy!
Masterlist || Bingo Board
You'd met him at the library, as if the world wanted you to forever associate the comfort you found in between the pages of a worn book with the man that tried to end your life. At first, you'd thought it a coincidence, then he'd flashed a smile at you, and you'd believed it to be fate, drawn in by the charm he wore as a disguise. 
Your first date was sweet, flowers and dinner. Your second date was sweeter, and they kept on that way. Sugar dropped into your ears until you were floating on cloud nine, right as he turned his charm off. 
“Really?” He started one day, his tone accusing from the get-go. 
“What?” 
“You're really going to eye fuck that man in front of me?” His voice was loud enough to catch notice in the small café you'd joined him in for the morning, and all the life drained out of your face. 
“I'm not- what?”
“No, forget it,” he chuffed, taking another sip of his drink and turning away from you. 
You noticed it more and more from then on, how he would accuse you of small things like looking at other men, like you had the choice to ignore them when they were shop clerks, bus drivers and just fucking people living their lives. 
Your friends were even weirded out when you joked with them about it, telling them all about your silly boyfriend who ripped a poster off your wall because it had some actor or singer or something on it. It wasn't even that important to you, but as you laughed, you were greeted with silence, with sideways glances and concerning questions. 
It was all starting to crumble, and there was nothing you could do to stop it but cling on. 
The next thing was his pushiness. You'd been up front with him at the beginning of the relationship that you were a virgin, something that he was more than happy about. 
He'd said it was because he was a man of God, and he understood your commitment, which confused you as you weren't a virgin for religious reasons. But you brushed it off as everything else about him was so… gentlemanly? 
Until he started pushing his hands up your thighs when he kissed you. He tried multiple times to push his fingers into your underwear as you tried to pull back, each time apologizing immediately when you displayed more panicked displeasure. 
“I'm sorry, something must have… The devil got to me for a second there, Y/N, but I won't let him win.” He kissed the top of your head, and he walked you to your door before giving you another chaste kiss and leaving. 
They found the first body the next morning.
She was young, maybe 16 or 17. Beaten, raped, mutilated, and asphyxiated. They said he'd kept raping her body long after she'd taken her last breath. It took them two weeks to notify her parents because of the way he'd left her. 
You'd watched the news report the same week with your boyfriend, shocked and horrified at the news and cuddling closer to him for comfort. 
Each step you came closer to him, each time you allowed him to touch you, he took it as a sign of his ownership, his claim on you. Not a single other person could get in between him and his prize. Each time you rejected him, he killed another girl. 
By body five, they'd called in the BAU. 
“Did you hear they're bringing in the FBI to solve that Cathy Renaud case? It's all over the news. Apparently, the team is super special.” 
You'd brought up the words while cooking him breakfast. He didn't live with you, but any good girlfriend would feed their man, so he woke you up every day on his way to work to let you prepare him something. 
His whole attention was on his phone, though, as he nodded through your conversation, grunting and moaning at each word. 
It was only when you brought him his plate of pancakes that you realized that he was just as interested in the subject as you were. Because he was staring at the photos of the girl he mutilated the night before. 
You didn't want to think about everything that happened after that. After the plate fell to the floor and cracked, splintering into your foot and causing you your first injury in a long line. 
You didn't want to think about the things he showed you, the way he touched you, or at least tried to. You heaved and wretched and emptied your stomach every single time you thought about the restraints on your wrists, how he'd tried to rape you but couldn't bring himself to do it because you weren't young enough anymore. You weren't dead enough.  
Instead, every time you thought back to that week, you found yourself back at the end. You replayed the bullet lodging into his brain as a comfort, which told you more than you needed to know about your mental state. It was Spencer Reid who'd shot him. He'd been quick enough to realize that the man would never have been talked down, and he'd fired the shot as a mercy to you. He may have killed your boyfriend, putting him down like he was a sick animal, but you were the one put out of your misery. 
He didn't stop to watch the body hit the floor before falling to your side, the other agents clearing the room and checking the corpse. He'd helped you to your feet, drawn an arm around your waist and pushed your head into his chest so you didn't have to see the carnage on the way out, didn't have to deal with the camera flashes as the press scrambled for pictures of the monster's willing victim. 
“One step at a time, this isn't your fault. Just stick with me,” he said, moving you from the house to a waiting van as you clasped his vest desperately, needing the lifeline he'd thrown you. 
“Ma'am, ma'am. I'm a paramedic, I won't hurt you, I just need to take your vitals, make sure you're okay.” 
The voice was vague and in the distance, and you were so sure it wasn't directed at you that you simply let yourself wrap around the man who'd saved you when you got to the ambulance. Nothing else was around but his chest, his hand on your back, your legs wrapped around him as they finally gave out. 
“Ma'am… Please, you're injured-” 
“Y/N,” he spoke finally, and you grabbed him tighter, nails digging into the skin at his neck. 
“You're Y/N, right? We've been looking for you for a long time. I'm not going anywhere, I won't let anyone hurt you.” 
The words were enough to reassure you, pulling back slightly as the paramedics began working on you, but not enough for you to embrace their touch. You clambered away from the paramedic the moment you saw he was a man, close in build and coloring to the corpse in the building behind you. 
You screamed, you cried, you pounded at the doors as Spencer held to you him, letting the paramedics sedate you, rocking you to sleep on the step of the emergency vehicle.
He was by your bedside every time you woke up, too. It was funny seeing him there when you still didn't know his name. Your parents hadn't visited, too ashamed to be associated with the entire thing to even check in on you. 
He had himself assigned your emergency contact after six days of your parents not showing up. In all that time, he'd sat patiently by your side as you wailed and raged and went numb, and the cycle repeated itself in perpetuity. 
He was there, too, with a bag of clothes and a fresh start waiting for you when you were ready to be discharged. 
His team had since moved on to another criminal of the week, putting the lives lost behind them as they traipsed through more cases and corpses and killers. He was still there, though. Somehow. 
You were old enough to be able to discharge yourself from a hospital, old enough to not need a guardian to take care of you. Spencer stayed anyway, and you didn't bother asking why. 
“I don't want to leave the hospital,” you said, climbing back into the bed you'd forced yourself into for the last week. The same bed where the nurse had ran your rape kit even after you'd told her he'd never touched you like that, after you'd explained and denied and shouted to high hell that no-one had touched you like that and she sure as hell wasn't going to be the first. 
Spencer had put a stop to the traumatic experience when he'd returned with your coffee, always picking up something for you when he went out. 
The nurse had gripped and moaned and murmured an apology, and you knew you'd not been an easy patient, but you couldn't bring yourself to feel bad about it. 
That didn't mean you wanted to leave yet, though. 
“I can't leave, I have nowhere to live.”
“Y/N, you can't stay here forever.”
“Spencer, I can't go home. My apartment is a crime scene, I almost died there, and there are reporters posted there 247 waiting for me to come back. They think I'm evil, they-” 
“They think you're a victim,” he said calmly but firmly, cutting you off before you could spiral again. “Which you are. And you'll be a victim forever if you don't get out of that hospital bed and start moving on.” 
He dumped a bag on your bed, a bag you recognised as one of your own overnight bags from your apartment. He looked at you again, the question in his silence. 
Are you going to keep being his victim?
You huffed as you got out of your bed, throwing off the covers and standing in front of him. He didn't budge. 
“Well?” You asked, looking at him as he stood still, not moving even an inch. 
“Well, what?” He replied, eyebrows knitting. 
Instead of replying, you rolled your eyes and reached behind you to the ties in your hospital gown, opening it until you could pull it off your body before pulling out the clothes he'd left in the bag. 
You didn't glance at him again until you were fully naked, readying your underwear so you could pull it on. When you turned back to him, his gaze knocked the wind out of you. 
You'd stopped feeling like a woman the minute he'd carried out of that room. You were a child, a fragile doll, a specimen to be studied. For some of the nurses, you were an infection they could catch. 
Spencer Reid, against his better judgment, was looking at you like you were a woman. Like you were the object of his every desire. 
“S-Spencer…” you said suddenly feeling the shame and embarrassment of being naked suddenly in front of another person. You pulled the sweatshirt he'd packed you over your torso, covering all of your intimate areas as you stammered out your apology. 
“I- shit, I'm sorry-”
“I'll wait - I’ll wait outside. If you need anything you can… you can do whatever.” He said, dragging his eyes off of your body and letting them fall anywhere that you weren't. His eyes darted from the floor to the wall, to the air next to your head and finally to the door where he took himself out. 
You dressed in a hurry and followed him. 
“Spencer? Spencer, I'm ready,” you said, running down the hall to him and grabbing his arm, holding it for support and comfort, but mostly just to be close. 
Since waking up from that first sedation of many in those first few days, you hadn't been more than a few hours without having him hold you. 
His team had sent many warning looks watching you wrapped around him like a scared child, hiding behind him like a small, shaking dog. You hadn't seen a problem in it, truly clinging to him like a lifeline. 
After whatever the hell had just happened in your hospital room, though? Now you felt each solid ridge of him. You hadn't felt like a woman, sure  but you equally hadn't acknowledged Spencer as a man until then. A very attractive man. 
The stubble on his jaw only made it sharper. His gentle, curving eyes, cut at the corners by the start of laugh lines, his mouth straight and… and kissable. For the first time in months, definitely for the first time since you'd met your monster, maybe even for the first time ever, desire heated the depths of your stomach. 
Your breath hitched, and you held him tighter as he led you out of the ward and ushered you into your new life. 
“We're not going to your apartment. Your landlord released you from the lease for…obvious reasons after some persuading. Your parents-” 
“My parents?” You asked in disgusting, halting in the hall. For the first time since you'd left the room, he had to turn and look you in the eyes. He'd done his best to dampen the desire, but some part of you still recognised it, even as your logical brain fought to be heard. 
“Your parents agreed to fund three months in a new apartment. After which time, you will have a job and some stability, so you'll be able to pay for it yourself.”
You tried to argue and tried to talk back, but your tongue was thick. 
A new apartment. Living alone, being alone, for any amount of time, felt daunting. 
But Spencer took one more step towards the door and then another, and you had no choice but to walk with him, hand slipping down and grasping his like it was your lifeline. 
The drive to whatever new apartment your parents had leased for you was silent, and the storms in your head grew until they'd taken up so much space they erupted forth, darkening the actual skies. A crash of thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance just as he pulled into the building. Luckily for you, there was underground parking, so you didn't even need to contemplate letting the lightning hit you. 
There was one space left, and Spencer pulled his car in, flipping the engine off and getting out without another word. 
He led you up the stairs, then he led you to your floor, then he led you to your door and handed you the keys. 
You felt cold as you opened the doors, knowing you were about to confront items of boxes that had watched you be burned, cut, slapped, beaten.
There were no boxes behind the door. Everything had, to your shock, been unboxed and staged already. 
You recognised magnets on the fridge, stuffed animals on the bed when you made your way to your bedroom. Your toiletries were neatly tidied into your medicine cabinet, hell, even your bookshelves had your own dog-eared copies of books well past their prime. 
You had every comfort and joy without having to push yourself through the pain of thinking about where these items had last been kept. 
There were new things too. The couch was definitely second-hand, but it wasn't the one you'd brought at Goodwill the week after your college graduation. That one was stained red, no doubt, somewhere in a tip. There was bedding and sheets and blankets and plates and forks and knives - a whole household of items that someone had chosen. 
You turned back to Spencer and cried. You buried your face in his chest and wrapped yourself around him again as he held you. 
And then, realizing he'd been the one to orchestrate this, if not the one who had arranged everything himself, you pushed up on the balls of your feet, and you kissed him. 
For the few seconds it lasted, it was brilliance. The pressure on your lips after a second had your heart singing as he kissed you back, your hands balling into his shirt as you stepped closer and closer, needing to be wrapped around him, buried in safety and warmth. 
He pulled back and stepped out of your reach too quickly, the back of his hand reaching up to his mouth as if checking that it was still there, that he'd actually just been kissing you back. 
“Y/N, you don't…we can't do that.” 
“Do what?” You said, creeping forward, needing to feel him beside you again. 
“You're not… you don't feel about me the way you think you feel about me,” he said, pushing your hair behind your ear as you wrapped your arms around his waist again. 
“How do I feel?” 
“Grateful. Y/N, this is gratitude. I saved you, and so you think you are in love with me. It's called transference, and you will deeply, deeply regret this one day.” 
The urgency in his tone had you flinching, even if he was trying to talk to you as softly as possible. For a moment, you'd done as he'd asked and forgotten you were a victim. It was apparently something he himself would not forget anytime soon.
You stood around awkwardly for another minute or two. 
“What…what now?” You asked, avoiding the kiss and whatever lay in that direction.
“I'll walk you through the emergency contact numbers. The apartment building is pretty old, so there's a wall phone in the kitchen, but there are some modern amenities, too. The laundry room is on the first floor, next to the porters office. I'm in apartment 23 on the second floor, and-” 
“What?” Your entire body buzzed, hearing him speak, and you almost forgot to breathe, rushing to stand straight again.
“I… I live on the floor below,” he said, almost cautiously now that you'd thrown yourself at him. “I thought you might enjoy the company.”
He gave you a weak smile and you wanted to kiss him all over again, to press your lips again and again into the soft flesh of his skin, his lips, his nose, his cheeks, his neck, his chest. 
You wanted him to hold you. You stood by the sofa and let your grip on a cushion tighten to stop from throwing yourself at him again. One rejection was enough for the day. 
Not that you stopped in the weeks to come. 
Spencer had himself relegated to office work for the first month as you rode out the waves of your grief, sticking by his side for comfort.
Your friends came and went, but they wore the stench of ‘I told you so’ and ‘I saw that coming,’ and you suffocated on it after so long. 
Every day after he returned home, you arrived at him door and threw yourself into his open arms, sitting with him for hours. Most days, you read together, ignoring that the man flipped pages three times as fast as you did. Some nights, you watched shows or movies, making your way through three companions worth of “New Who” in a week.
Each time you came, he took care of your food, ordering or cooking simple pasta dishes for you. 
He told you about the time his coworker had taught him how to make the perfect pasta, berating him for putting oil in his pasta water, and damn near drawing his weapon while he made sure he salted it. 
You laughed together and ate together, and you forgot together. 
Your life was back to normal when you got your first job interview. It's nothing spectacular, but it was enough that it would pay the bills to the apartment whose lease is a ticking bomb counting down to 0. It was a normal office, where you would be doing normal work that you had absolutely done before. 
The interview was normal, the female employee that meets you first reassuring you that the company is safe, their employees vetted and supported. 
And the company makes feminine hygiene products anyway, so they don't attract too many men, or at least none like the monster you'd known. 
All in all, the interview went well. 
It went well all the way until you reached the bus stop. You felt eyes on you, watching your movements, but you couldn't see anyone else focusing on you particularly.
You felt the stares on the bus, and the stares when you got off the bus two stops early. You felt the stares walking around the block three times to throw whatever was following you around off your track. You felt the stares as you sat outside Spencer's apartment until 6:45pm, when he came home and found you there. Your interview had been at 1pm.
“Y/N, what's wrong?” He said, immediately holding you and guiding you into the apartment. 
Your anxiety and fear had settled into self-loathing and disappointment. You let him hold you quietly, rejecting food and conversation. 
You sat quietly with him on his sofa as he held a book in one hand, stroking your hair with another as you laid on his chest. 
The emotions of the day were overwhelming, consuming the part of your brain that had started being happy again for the first time. You grew angry at the sadness for seeping back in, and in an act of rebellion, you pushed back up and kissed Spencer once more. 
His brain was slower to react this time, even if his body wasn't. 
You straddled his hips as your lips joined his, melting together in a hot embrace. He dropped his book quickly, hand resting on your hip as the one that had been stroking your hair angled your jaw up so he could set the pace. 
All your emotions were swept away in a wave of desire as you slowly rubbed against him, butt shifting as you clumsily followed your arousal past your worldly knowledge. 
You couldn't even think about what was next because your tongue was clashing with Spencer's, and your brain was short circuiting. 
The second you let out your first whimper of pleasure, he pushed you away and stood up, crossing the room to put distance between you, just as he had a month beforr. 
“Y/N, you had a bad day, but this isn't… This isn't how you should make yourself feel better.” 
“Spencer-” 
“I told you about transference before, Y/N, you need to listen to me. I'm not… I'm not the one for you.” His voice shook as he ran his hands through his hair in stress, body tense in a way that informed you he was holding himself back. 
“Transference. Transference…” You sat upright on his couch and let all the logic rush back into your brain at once. 
“Y/N?” He asked, voice shaking as he watched you zone out of the conversation, almost afraid that he'd damaged you again. 
“Is there… Is there something wrong with transference?” You asked, voice impossibly calm as you still stared straight forward. 
He moved towards you again and knelt at the floor in front of you, clutching your hands in his. 
“Y/N, you don't really want me like that, you don't, you can't-”
“Love you?” You asked, your voice finally breaking, eyes finally meeting his.
It was as if you knocked the wind out of him. He sat there completely dumbstruck. 
“It might not be love, okay, I'll admit that. But you're… you're strong and smart, and you take care of me. And you're attractive, and you make me happy, which is something I didn't think I'd ever be again-” 
“Y/N, something happened to you today, and you threw yourself at me. You threw yourself at me when you moved into your apartment. You felt stressed, and you reacted, Y/N. You don't love me.”
You sat calmly listening to his words again, your body still aching for his touch, your heart still pounding in your chest. 
“Okay. Okay. So if I do…this when I'm not feeling vulnerable, then what? Then you'll believe me?” 
“Y/N…” he sighed in defeat, hand again raking through his hair. 
You grabbed your things and stood up off the couch, bending to press another kiss to his lips before you parted. 
He was shocked silent, but that didn't stop him from chasing your lips as you rose, rising to his knees and then his feet as you walked away from him.
“I'll see you tomorrow, Spencer. Get some sleep,” you said, letting yourself out or the apartment and carrying yourself, heavy and dejected, upstairs. 
If Spencer was anticipating seeing you again the next morning, he wasn't anticipating seeing you in his office.
“Spencer,” you called out as you walked into the bullpen, clipping your visitors badge into place again, making sure it wasn't crooked.
Immediately, he stood from his desk and rose to meet you, ignoring the looks from his coworkers as his hands landed on your arms, immediately checking on you. 
“Y/N, what are you doing here?” He whispered, checking for tears, or injuries, or something to show him your motive for seeking him out. 
You just smiled at him, brushing a hair behind your ear when you saw him hesitate making that same gesture. 
“I was summoned. They need my statement to corroborate your weapon discharge paperwork, and Agent Hotchner called earlier.” 
His hands dropped as he breathed a steady sigh of relief, trying to make his reaction smaller than he knew it was. He was afraid something had happened to you again, and he was so caught up in his relief, that he didn't notice you moving closer until your lips were on his cheek and you were waving him off as you ascended the stairs to Hotch's office with your escort. 
“Spencer,” Morgan's voice called from behind him, and he turned hesitantly. 
“What was that?” 
He felt the eyes on him, and he pushed all thoughts of you to the side in place of total rationality. 
“I explained transference to her but… she doesn't seem to - she doesn't care.” 
“Spencer the last time I saw that girl, she was practically the walking dead. She just smiled.” Morgan said, shaking his head. But Spencer was watching you, and not his friend, and really, he wasn't even listening.
“Spencer? Spencer?” Morgan said again, rising to get in the man's face some more until he finally looked at him again. 
“She thinks she's in love with me.” 
“How do you know she isn't?” 
You kept working on him, little by little, day by day, until Spencer's field work started again. 
A little part of you was sad that he wouldn't always be around every day anymore. But you'd got that job and got over yourself as you started going out more. You made friends at your office, and you went out and laughed and joked with old college roommates. You felt like a human being again, and to no one's surprise, you still wanted Spencer Reid. 
He left every Monday on a case, and by the time Wednesday rolled around, you missed him. Going out to drinks with some coworkers after clocking off certainly didn't sate your appetite for him. 
“Spencer,” you said, breathily into the phone when he picked up, throwing yourself onto your bed. 
“Y/N, what happened? Is everything alright? Do you need me to come back?”
“No, Spencer, I just-” you hiccupped and giggled before continuing. “I just missed you so much.” 
The silence on the line was suddenly so funny to you, and you giggled again. Feeling hot, you stripped down to your underwear and started talking again. 
“I miss cuddling up to you and crawling all over you. You're really soft, you know?” You sighed, hands trailing up and down your stomach lightly. 
“Y/N,” he said in a warning tone. 
“I miss your face. I'm switching to video call,” you announced and fumbled with your phone. 
“No, Y/N, wait-” he said, but pulling the phone away from his ears, he realized his protests were too late to matter as he took in your half-naked form. 
Though your face took up the majority of the view on the camera, he could see the soft trim of your lace bra poking into the camera, and the generous push of cleavage your angle facilitated to boot. 
Checking around him for people looking, he tucked himself into a corner and scowled back at you. 
“Y/N, this isn't a game. Turn the call off and go to bed.” 
“But I miss you,” you whined. 
“Y/N,” he hissed, eyes falling to your hands where you'd begun massaging your heavy breasts. 
“When are you coming home?” You asked, whining again like a petulant child as the alcohol flushed through your system, bringing all of your desires to the forefront. 
“Soon,” he said, not trusting himself to say more than a word. 
“Good. Because I miss you. Spencer, I- I think I want to have sex with you.” 
His eyes shut as he tried to remain calm even as your words rang in his ears from 1000 miles away.
“We'll talk soon, Y/N. Good night,” he closed, finally hanging up and covering his face in his hands. He made his way quickly to his motel room, threw his phone down on his bed, and ignored as best he could his throbbing cock in his pants and the three pictures you'd sent him since he hung up. 
He didn't resist for long. 
Three nights later, you found yourself at a bar, living life to the fullest. You'd taken back to society like a swan to water, and you weren't letting the stern words of Spencer Reid keep you down. Knocking back another shot, you smiled and cheered with your friends until you felt the eyes on you again. It was different this time, though, hotter, and closer. You turned to look at the door and saw Spencer Reid and the other people who'd saved your life walking to a booth. It was Spencer's eyes on you. 
You definitely did not believe in a higher power - how could you, after all - but you did believe that this was fate. 
You blew him a kiss as he watched you walk back to your table with another cocktail in hand, letting a man who'd been trying to flirt with you earlier follow you to your friends. 
When you went for your next drink, you found him at your side in a heartbeat. 
“I'm not checking up on you,” he said, even though he was. “I'm ordering a drink.” 
“Two drinks,” you said, shooting him a flirty smile as you pressed yourself against him again, chest to chest. 
“You're ordering two drinks, Spencer,” you whispered into his ears as his head dropped down to within an inch of your own. The air felt changed, but you refused to move to close the gap. You'd put in the work the last few times. You needed Spencer to be the one to take the chance this time. 
He ordered your drinks, and still you didn't move apart, huddled together as if you were whispering conspiracies to one another. 
When your drink was firmly in your hand, he grabbed your wrist and led you to a dark corner of the bar. You sipped your drink quickly, managing two swigs before he took it and placed both drinks down - right beside Penelope Garcia - and dragged you out into the hall. 
The bathrooms were empty when he pushed you inside, and your heart throbbed as his hands pushed you into a stall, lifted your legs to wrap around him, and then his lips finally crashed into yours. 
Transference or whatever else it was supposed to be, you didn't give one shit in that moment as his tongue coaxed your lips apart.
His hands didn't stay in place for long as he dragged them up and down your body, exploring every part he'd memorized from the pictures. Every curve or inch he'd previously held tenderly, gently, he now raked over with the hunger of arousal, pushing your short skirt up until it was past your hips and his fingers could sink into you instead. 
You were soaked before he even had one digit inside you, his thumb rubbing roughly against your clit as you turned to jelly in his hands. 
You'd masturbated before, sure, you were a grown woman. But the feeling of someone else's hands, someone else's hest, the knowledge that someone else desired you so badly that they'd drag you into a bar bathroom just to sate their lust? That was new, and it was exciting. 
His lips covered yours as your legs shook, silencing every moan, every whimper with his tongue. It was wild, messy, your tongues clashing wildly and messily as your hips rocked violently, trying to reach that high, but also trying to make this last past his fingers. 
It wasn't to be though as you shuddered around his three digits, your orgasm ripping through you silently, leaving you wide-eyed and wide mouthed. 
“We're done,” he said, gently kissing your cheek as be stood you up, letting you stretch out the soreness in your muscles. 
“For now?” 
“Forever, Y/N. This was a mistake.”
Your heart hit the ground, and he stomped on it, but the anger filling your gut pushed up and out before he could completely bow out. 
“No,” you ground out through gritted teeth. 
“Y/N, you aren't in love with me. You feel grateful that I saved you, you feel attracted to me because I'm older and you think I can protect you, and a little part of it is that you've always been attracted to men who are dangerous. You're not in love with me, so-” 
“You sound like him.”
Shocked, he paused, and his grip on your hips tightened until his nails were biting into your skin. 
“What?” 
“You're telling me how to feel, you're telling me what to do. You sound like him.” 
“Y/N, that is unfair-” 
“Unfair is denying that I'd know how I'm fucking feeling to let you wallow in self sacrifice, Spencer. Unfair is playing the martyr when we can both see that you want this as fucking badly as I do.” 
You didn't give him a second longer to react, but grabbed him by the wrist and, making sure your skirt was once again in place, pulled him back out of the bathroom and into the club. 
Stopping by Penelope, you put his drink in his hand and grabbed yours, downing it quickly. He followed your actions, taking a sip until you were done and slamming your drink back on the table. 
Then you kept him moving, pushing doors open, hailing a cab, and climbing in with him hot on your heels.
You kept your grip on him tight until you'd marched him to his apartment. Releasing him, you flattened your back against his door, letting him slowly unlock the door as you spoke to him again finally.
“Do it, Spencer. Be my first.” 
It was like he was a different man walking over that threshold. His hand were on your face, his tongue again fighting yours as you stumbled back into the apartment, crashing into the wall, then the coffee table, and then the couch. 
You cursed in anger hitting his closed bedroom door and pushed him away to open it yourself, but his arms wrapped around you from the back and he sucked bruises against your neck as his hands grabbed your breasts and squeezed them.
His cock was rigid in his pants, and your body ached for the unknown, the soon to come pleasure that he was to deliver. 
He pushed you down onto the bed quickly, and you rolled yourself over, pulling your own dress off as quickly as possible. 
“That's my job,” he moaned, meeting your lips again as his hands fell to your underwear once again. 
“You have a long to-do list, Spencer, I'm just helping,” you smirked as he kissed you again, your hands shakily working down each button of his shirt as you acted to tear it off of him. 
“We have all night,” he replied, fingers once again rubbing at your bundle of nerves, hips pushing up and into his hands. 
“No, Spencer. No, we don't. I need you now.” 
His mouth covered yours again as you finally, finally got his shirt off, letting him throw it to the floor as you started working on his belt. Your legs spread as he inched closer, sitting between your thighs comfortably as he waited with bated breath for you to finally touch his cock.  
You knew what dicks looked like, you knew what they were supposed to feel like, but you never realised you'd want to touch one so fucking badly until his sprung from his pants. 
He took your hand and spit in it before you wrapped your fingers around him and felt the heat of his cock pulsing against you. 
He was big, long more than girthy, and you wondered how thousands of years of women had managed to survive coupling if this was the weapon meant to numb them into horny submission. 
One stroke, and you were a mess, his fingers hooking into you as you flicked your wrist up and down. 
You watched his precum rise and swiped it up in one finger, tasting it as he groaned and started thrusting up, fucking your hand as he scissored his fingers inside of you. 
He stretched you out, readying you for his thick cock, and you gladly sat there, letting him use you and ready you all at once. 
When you were ready, he wrapped his arms around you again, lifting you onto the bed properly and laying you down softly in the sheets. Kneeling to roll on the condom he'd grabbed from his bedside table, you watched in curiosity as you tried to memorize every movement, every second of him sinking into you. 
The tears in your eyes were emotion just as much as pain, your heart hammering in your ears as he whispered praise into your ear, dropping confessions like bombs. 
“You're taking me so well, Y/N, that's good…” he moaned, pushing in one inch. 
“That's it, Y/N, just a little more. I love you, you can do it,” he said, sinking in two more. 
“You feel so good, Y/N, made just for me,” he said as he finally hit your limit. 
You knew the stretch wasn't the end, and he rested there for a second, letting you get used to him before you lost patience with him. 
“Spencer just, just push through,” you grit out, and he did, snapping his hips up just that.inch or two more and sending that spark of pain through you. 
In an instant, his lips were on yours, his fingers on your clit, flooding your nerves with pleasure as all you could think of was the pain. 
But when the pain faded, there was still him, and his cock neatly sheathed inside of you. 
His hips moved languidly at first, his entire body weight pushing down on you, lazily twisting and writhing as of this were just one of your cuddles on the couch. 
You whimpered, and he moved faster, and you learnt quickly that your noises and sighs to him were what his praise was to you - motivation.
You moaned, and he picked up his pace, moving faster as you whimpered a lustful ‘yes’ into his ear. 
“Good girl, good girl, Y/N, that's it. Good girl,” he repeated, unable to say more as you whimpered and cried under him, speech lost as he split you in half with his dick.
You grew louder, and his cock buried itself deeper, your moans dragged on longer and he picked up speed. 
He whispered that you were his perfect little slut, and you jolted in his arms, cumming on his cock and screaming his name. 
He kept pumping into you, careful to make sure the condom stayed in place as he finally bottomed out and let pleasure roll through him again.
Coming down from his high, your tongue pushed into his mouth, and you rolled him over, sitting yp on his dick as he watched. 
You rose off his cock, letting him stare in wonder as your own arousal dripped off of your skin, his cock coated in arousal, and spit from his fingers and, yes, a little bit of blood. 
You crawled back and peeled off the condom, tying It quickly and discarding it before you tasted his cum quickly. 
It was just a soft lick, but it had him declaring his love for you again, and you decided that there were very few things you wouldn't do to hear those words. 
As delightful as your lips felt, though, he quickly bundled you up and forced you to the bathroom, turning on the taps in the bath and placing you on the toilet before leaving. 
Even now, after everything, he was still taking care of you. Maybe especially now. 
You finished, and he came back. More stolen kisses and moans and a bath that turned into more later, and you found yourself bundled into his spare clothes and wrapped in his arms on his couch again. 
He clicked play on another episode of Doctor Who (you'd finally reached Donna, and he was excitedly introducing you to the new character), and you finally looked up at him again.
“I love you,” you said again, loudly this time, with no fear. 
Though his training told him the response he should give, Spencer just looked down at you again and gave in to his heart. 
“I love you, too.” 
You fell asleep quickly after that, head resting over his heart, the sound of the steady beats lulling you to sleep. 
1K notes · View notes
strangerstilinski · 23 days
Note
can you pretty please do [intimidation] with eddie
🥺👉👈
[INTIMIDATION] sender, in an effort to frighten the receiver by invading their personal space, sits in their lap to try and inspire discomfort or fear in them.
cw: alcohol consumption, fem!reader, sort of enemies -> lovers (but actually idiots -> lovers), 2.4k
dividers by @strangergraphics
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You're blocking the doorway into the Harrington kitchen, shoulder leaned against the wood panelling where you have a good view into the living room. Your unimpressed glare is drawn from the figure currently hogging the sofa when someone bumps into you just as you're bringing the plastic cup in your hand to your lips.
"Jesus, fucking watch it-" The outrage in your tone fades quick when you see who's run into you.
"Sorry." Jonathan grimaces as he watches you wipe a bit of juice and vodka from your chin.
"No, it's fine," You sigh and turn on your heel, following Jonathan into the kitchen as he begins to grab things to make himself a drink, though it appears to be far more lemon-lime soda and grenadine than anything else. "Sorry, I just.. I dunno, sorry." You shrug before gulping down another mouthful of your own admittedly strong drink. You're kind of hoping that once your buzz kicks in you'll feel just a little less like there's a storm cloud floating right above your head.
"What is with you, tonight?" Jonathan asks with an overly cautious smile, "I haven't seen Munson bug you even once, so it's gotta be somethin' else-"
"Nothing," You huff, a little defensive at just the mention of the other boy, "I'm fine."
"Oh yeah, totally," Jonathan chuckles and raises his newly acquired drink in a salute, "You're like a ray of sunshine tonight."
It's annoying as hell, but he's right. You're fuming and Eddie has yet to even speak to you. He's been avoiding you like the plague from the moment you walked through the door, as if Eddie could somehow sense that you were already in a mood, and he didn't feel like getting told off for being the reason that you finally snapped.
Because normally, Eddie would've found at least seven ways he could irritate you by now. He'd have finished the last of the juice he saw you eyeing for your next mixed drink and laughed maniacally when you pouted about it. He'd have pestered you about whether you might want to join in on another campaign, all while making a handful of little comments about just how easy it'll be for him to decimate your character when you do. He'd have watched you shiver while you passed passed a joint back and forth by the pool, and then draped his stupid jacket around your shoulders just so he could roll his eyes and give you shit about not dressing warmly enough.
Eddie was infuriating — And the worst part was that he knew it. The asshole thrived on pushing buttons and testing people's limits, but tonight evidently he'd been able to tell that you were already toeing dangerously close to yours and had steered clear altogether.
You peer back out into the living room now, narrowed eyes zeroing back in on the figure sprawled across the entire length of the loveseat, socked feet kicked up on the opposite cushion where someone else could be sitting if he weren't such a selfish prick.
"God, what an asshole." You grumble, downing the last of your drink and grabbing the nearest bottle to begin mixing another. "I mean, look at him, seriously. Does he have to take up the whole couch?"
Jonathan's gaze follows the path your own had taken moments before, and he snorts in amusement, "Eddie."
It's not a question, but you answer him as if it had been.
"Yes, Eddie." Another quick glance up into the living room has your eyes locking with the man in question just as his name falls from your lips.
Eddie's eyes go wide, his cheeks dimpling with his sudden grin. He jabs his index finger into his chest, lips moving silently around the words, "Who? Me?"
"Uh-huh.. Why don't you go do something about it?" Jonathan teases.
Eddie's attention is pulled away when Gareth says something from his spot in an armchair. Whatever he says it gets Eddie riled up and he's immediately talking animatedly, hands gesturing wildly as he speaks.
"Maybe I will." You're already moving with purpose, halfway out of the kitchen when you hear your friend shout after you.
"I was joking!"
"Well I'm not!" You call back over your shoulder.
It's darker as you step into the living room, overhead lights off in favor of utilizing the warmer glow from the the lamp tucked away in the corner. You have to step over Eddie's discarded shoes at the foot of the sofa, and the boy very nearly knocks your drink out of your hand when you step in front of him, too distracted by his own tirade to have seen your approach.
But his head snaps up toward you as your thigh brushes his arm. Whatever he's been saying, the words cut off abruptly at the realization of who it is standing beside him.
"Well hey there, princess." He shoots you a toothy grin — You assume it's meant to be charming, but it only irritates you further. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"
You ignore Eddie in favor of casting a small smile of apology toward Gareth, "Sorry to interrupt."
"Nah, no worrie-"
"No, no! You didn't interrupt. We were done." Eddie cuts his friend off, "Gareth was just telling me he was gonna go take a piss, actually."
Gareth splutters for a moment, but when his eyes shift from you to Eddie he's suddenly rising from his chair. You watch Gareth shake his head as he steps around you before he stalks off without a word.
"What was that about?" You can't help but ask in curiosity.
"Beats me. Really had to piss, I guess." Eddie says quickly, sitting up a little straighter against the arm of the couch. He throws an arm out to gesture to Gareth's recently vacated chair, "Did you wanna-"
Rather than taking advantage of the empty seat, you plop yourself across Eddie's thighs unceremoniously, feeling oddly satisfied by the huff of surprise that escapes him when your weight is suddenly in his lap.
The way the warmth of his body seeps into your own is near immediate, even through two layers of denim. Your arm presses into his chest as you lean back into the cushion of the sofa, trying and failing to remain unaffected by his proximity. He smells infuriatingly good this close, clean and masculine with just a lingering hint of the weed he'd smoked earlier in the night. It makes your stomach flutter wildly, makes your head swim for half a second before you're lifting your cup to your mouth in an effort to compose yourself.
Eddie huffs softly and his breath fans out over your exposed shoulder, warm and smelling faintly of cheap beer and menthols. Goosebumps prickle along the length of your arm, hairs standing on end suddenly. You wish you could convince yourself that your body's reaction were one of repulsion, but deep down you know that its something far, far worse than that.
"You.. You're just gonna.. sit.. here?" Eddie asks, voice a little wobbly, unsure.
His knuckles brush your thigh, likely an accident, but one sidelong glare has his hand retreating to the relative safety of the couch cushion in a flash.
"Yep."
You can see outside to the patio from your position, and you focus your attention to the group sitting with their feet in the pool. The sheer amount of effort it takes to keep your eyes trained there, rather than allowing them to drift to where Eddie's hand twitches near your knee-
"Do- Did you want me to move my legs? Do you want-" He shifts underneath you like he's ready to pull his feet from the cushion at the other end, but you remain resolutely in place.
"Nope, I'm good."
You have absolutely no plans of moving any time soon. You'd remain seated right here in Eddie's lap until his bladder was ready to burst, until your weight made his legs fall asleep and tingle from lack of blood flow, until he was ready to grab you by your hips and force you into another seat.
He'd learn his lesson. The inconsiderate couch-hogging asshole.
"O..kay." Eddie says slowly, wiping his palm on the side of his own denim-clad hip, as if his hands might've gotten a little sweaty.
Were you making him warm? Good.
"So.." Eddie pauses. You catch a glimpse of his face scrunching in thought at the corners of your vision before he continues, "Any big plans for the weekend?"
With how close you're sat, Eddie is speaking almost directly into your ear. There's no need for him to raise his voice to be heard, and you find that the low rumble of it is nice, soothing almost. It curls around your ears and sends something warm shooting down your spine.
"Killing boys." You return dryly, eyes straining now in an effort to remain focussed on what's going on in the backyard.
Eddie snorts, body jolting underneath you with his amusement — And his almost-laughter absolutely does not make your chest flush with pride. You couldn't care less whether or not Eddie Munson finds you funny. As if.
"Oh, so nothing out of the ordinary for you then."
Eddie chuckles and the tip of his thumb finds its way to the place where your thigh presses into his. You can't tell if it's accidental or on purpose, but the gentle press of his finger maybe kind of makes your stomach flip pleasantly, so you allow it. Whatever.
You hum in agreement, "Yeah, well. There's almost always some boy who deserves it."
"I don't doubt it," Eddie murmurs with a wide grin, his head tipped sideways over the back of the couch, cheek nearly brushing your shoulder now, "Anyone I know currently at the top of your list, madame assassin?"
"There is this one asshole." You pause to take a sip of your drink, fighting off a grimace at the awful liquor to juice ratio. "He's loud. And irritating. Just loves getting on my last nerve-"
"Long hair?"
The interruption has your eyes rolling, "Yep. Walks around looking like some Van Halen wannabe."
"Oh, he sounds cool."
You can practically hear the smirk in his voice now.
"Well he's not." You return blankly. "He's always trying to get a rise outta me, acting like a total prick-"
"Hold on, hold on-" Eddie cuts you off again, "Now I'm not so sure we're on the same page. Thought I knew who you were talkin' about, but-"
"Oh, you know him." You grumble, sinking farther into the plush cushion on the back of the couch with your drink clutched to your chest. "You know him well, trust me."
Eddie shifts beneath you, angling both himself and you until he's taking up more of your line of sight than the patio doors. His big brown eyes bore into you until you crack and flick your gaze toward him.
"Here's the thing.." Eddie starts, the pad of his thumb stroking the seam on the outside of your knee. "Maybe this guy's just pushing your buttons because he likes when all of your attention is on him-"
The arm he has thrown over the back of the couch by your shoulder moves then, brushing your hair back from your temple only to backtrack and trail the pads of his fingers featherlight over the space between your brows.
"-Maybe.. Shit, I dunno, maybe he likes the way your eyebrows come together when you're angry-"
Your heart is beating so loud you can hear the blood pumping in your ears. The urge to fidget under his attention is strong, but you sit at still as possible in fear of breaking the spell. You have to strain to hear Eddie's next words over the dull whoosh of your heartbeat echoing in your skull.
"Maybe he thinks you look kinda devastatingly beautiful-"
"You-" And, fuck. Did your voice just crack? "You're trying to tell me you think this guy is, what? Being a dick because he likes me? Pulling my pigtails on the playground and shit?"
Eddie's grin is less cocky than you've ever seen it. His lips twitch at one side of his mouth. He almost looks nervous.
You take a deep breath as his fingers skim over your jaw on their way back toward your hair, where he pinches a small lock between two fingers and tugs twice, oh-so gentle.
"What if he was?" Eddie asks softly, "Being a dick because he likes you, I mean."
"I'd tell you he's an idiot." You manage, plastic cup crinkling under the increased pressure of your hand.
Eddie winces, but nods and averts his gaze. His arm falls to the back to the sofa again, close enough for you to feel the warmth of it beside your shoulder.
"But.." You have to swallow down a smile when Eddie's wide eyes snap right back to yours. "Maybe this idiot's attraction isn't totally one-sided. So, maybe he should stop being an asshole and try making a move."
Eddie blinks. Once, then twice. He squares his shoulders and leans in like he might kiss you, but then he backs off again and searches your eyes as if he's terrified he might be reading the entire situation wrong.
"Eddie." You whisper sharply, "The idiot is you, asshole."
"Oh, Jesus Christ, thank god."
And then his fingers are curled gently around the back of your neck. His hand is fully grasping your opposite thigh as he tries to drag you impossibly closer. His plush lips are pressing softly into your own, the taste of beer mixing with vodka and citrus.
It's a quick kiss, chaste. Your mouths only remain glued together for all of three seconds before he's leaning back just enough to watch you blink at him from beneath heavy lashes. You can't imagine how stupidly docile you look; brows pushed up your forehead, chest nearly heaving beneath your shirt, jaw slack, lips parted and waiting for more. It's pathetic how he's managed to turn you into this with just one G-Rated kiss.
The hand on the back of your neck moves to your face, fingertips tracing the smooth line of your brow before trailing back down to cup your cheek.
"Yeah.. Yeah, this is nice too." Eddie murmurs, "You're awful pretty when you're mad, but this.. This right here is somethin' else."
"You're so annoying." It comes out airy, absolutely no bite to your words.
"Oh, that's not changing, sweetheart. Matter of fact, I think it's a part of our spark. Gotta keep the fire burning, right? I'll keep annoying you, you'll keep getting angry-"
"Would you just shut up and kiss me again?"
Eddie grins, already leaning in, "Sure thing."
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