#and so OF COURSE the two most obviously autistic characters are going to have people who deeply care about them

[lgbtlunaverse]

I've seen a good number of people ask a question along the lines of "why do characters like Falin and hate Laios when they're so similar?" and i've also seen good analysis on the differences in how the touden siblings carry themselves that would, despite their shared traits, make a person gravitate to one more than the other.

But i feel like we've overseen one very central thing here.

People don't like Falin

Like... the average person in dungeon meshi doesn't like Falin. She was deeply ostrasized by her home village, in magic school she had zero friends before Marcille and the others generally saw her as strange and a bit offputting.

Characters like Namari and Chilchuck like her well enough but not necessarily more than any other member of their party, including Laios. Neither Kabru nor his party think much of her. The canaries don't give a fuck about her. Toshiro's retainers don't see her as anything else than the weird foreign girl their boss has a crush on.

The reason we think everyone loves Falin is because, despite all the indifferent side characters, the 2 most important and central characters of the story are Laios and Marcille. Who are NOT representative of the average attitudes to Falin! But necromancy georg number 1 and 2 are our main eyes into the story and they love Falin so much that it colours our perspective of the whole world.

The only side character who qualifies as liking Falin and not Laios is Toshiro (at least at first, as he ends the story on much better terms with Laios) and that says a lot about his character, with him drifting to the quiet Falin precisely because of her oddness but being both uncomfortable with and deeply jealous of Laios' much more open expression of that oddness. Because he's a repressed guy from a culture where etiquette is incredibly important.

But like I said, that's a specific aspect of him, not to the world at large.

Because there's also people that click more with laios than with Falin.

Kabru, for one, who is initially distrustful of laios but clearly also deeply fascinated by him and drawn to him.

Minor spoilers, and you don't have to read too deeply into this, because I don't think Kabru particularly dislikes Falin or anything. But it's interesting that when he talks about his distrust of the toudens in ch.32 he's talking about them both. But his big friendship declaration in chapter 76 is aimed squarely at Laios, he doesn't say "you and your sister" he says "you"

And Senshi!! He instantly clicks with Laios, well before he does so with anyone else in the party– who he also becomes friends with, it just takes a bit longer– specifically because they bond over their shared special interest in monsters!! Senshi is kind towards Falin and cares for her wellbeing, but he also... doesn't know her. The reason he is even here, helping to save her, is because he and Laios bonded over monsters and he wants to help his new friends out!

Of course, the theme of neurodivergent isolation is very present in Laios' story. I'm not denying that. He does turn people off, without meaning to and unable to fully understand why! But so does Falin. And just like there are people who like her despite of or even because of those traits, there are people who do the same with him.

In conclusion: "Average person loves Falin and hates Laios" factoid actually statistical error. Average person is neutral on both Falin and Laios. Georcille, Laiorg and Geoshiro, who live in the dungeon and think over 10,000 Falin-loving thoughts a day, are statistical outliers adn should not have been counted.

[drchucktingle]

What flavor of queer are you, if that's not too invasive of a question?

question is just fine with chuck it is kind of interesting story.

on LGBTQIA trot i am TECHNICALLY two letters

easy first one is B that does not need any more explanation. that has always been my trot

second way is what i have learned through talkin with my online buds way of non-dysphoric trans. it has taken chuck LONG time to understand this but it has been fruitful journey i think. long ago chuck would post online about becoming other people or things or concepts or wrestling with my IDENTITY as a buckaroo (whether that meant becoming sweet barbara or becoming my reverse twin or becoming the entire seahawks footballs team, very handsome). in fitting with my entire heckin LIFE some buds probably thought these were jokes when they were not at all. they were just personal artistic bubbles tumbling up and popping in ways i didnt understand yet.

but through posting these thoughts and THEN writing trans tinglers and talking to my trans buds online, i started to realize there are all kinds of versions of a trans identity INCLUDING the ones that rolled around deep inside of me that i never had a name for.

three events helped chuck understand this

first: the trans buds chuck talked to while researching harriet porber said 'well i always knew if i could press a button and change my body to match my gender i would instantly do this' and chuck thought 'of course woudlnt we all do this?' and they said 'well no, do you feel this way?' and i would say 'yes very strongly'. i will FOREVER be grateful to trans community for these conversations and maybe it is another reason why being anti-gatekeeping is so important to chuck.

second: thought about all the games i have ever played like a dang videogame or a role playing game, chuck would ALWAYS choose ladybuck character. didnt really think this was a unique thing at time but it is a pattern across whole life

third: chuck was trotting around with some buds and they all said 'whose bod would you choose if you could transform into any body?' (this is common topic for chuck believe it or not.) and the buckaroo guys went around naming the usual brats pitt or handsome channing and it got to chuck and i said 'obviously brie larson' and then the dang guys just kind of stared at chuck and then i realized 'oh, i didnt even think my answer was unusual but i guess they were only talkin guy bods'

these three things happened pretty close to one another but they were all bubbling up for decades and expressed in various ways even chuck did not entirely understand

anyway. chucks way is NOT that i feel uncomfortable in my body and it does not bring me grief. i am not upset about it honestly. i do not even THINK about it most days. however, it is all TRUE and in a purely technical and utilitarian sense of A PLUS B then YES, male would not be my preferred gender.

didnt talk on this for a while because there are MANY dysphoric trans buckaroos who go through a lot of hardships and i have gone through ABSOLUTELY NONE IN THIS WAY. it has not made my life more difficult and it does not haunt me, so i do not want to have my voice drown out other trans buds who need space to shout. i am very privileged so even though technically this applies to chuck i do not need or want any bonus points.

that beings said, part of my journey on the autistic spectrum was to recognize that EVEN THOUGH my personal story is not tragic, it is still an important one to get out there onto this timeline. IN FACT there should be more stories of buckaroos who love being autistic like chuck. i am PROUD of my trot and i love my autism (this is also why i wanted to explicitly say my lead character in camp damascus is autistic)

so in the same way, when directly asked, i will say: i am technically non-dysphoric trans ALSO this has not weighed on my life at all. my story is not tragic it is full of joy and excitement. i will not shy away from this because there are all kinds of buckaroos on this spectrum.

anyway that is my VERY LONG TROT hope you enjoyed getting to know chuck a little more thank you for this question buckaroo

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hallo! Could I possibly request a Tim Drake x M!Reader?

Seeing your autistic reader mirroring the batboys. I think it would be funny seeing the other Batboys (+ Batman maybe), react to reader and Tim mirroring eachother.

Maybe it doesn't start right away, but builds up steam over time. It starting with them rocking back in forth in sync while bouncing off info from an going case, to them picking up mannerisms.

Then maybe continued with their wardrobes becoming so mixed up, they just have double the clothes.

______

Honsetly, the thought of Damien being creeped out by Tim and Reader lifting their cups of coffee or energy drinks up in unison, makes me laugh harder than it should.

That or Bruce seeing Reader and Tim mirroring eachothers fighting style for the frist time and just like, 'what the fuck???'. Because, he probably tested Damien for autism snice they are blood, it's generic. Maybe, Dick for ADHD.

Then, it just slipped his mind to get Tim tested or even see the signs of autism in Tim. Because Bruce is autistic, so would just look at Tim and think, 'Yup, that's normal development .'

- Crow

Tim Drake x autistic male reader

Headcanons

Funny thing is I hc that pretty much the entire batfam is on the autism spectrum in some way or another. Bruce is autistic , Dick has ADHD or ADD, Jason has ASD or ODD, Tim is autistic, Damian is autistic and mild OCD.

Is this me projecting onto my comfort characters? Yes, yes it is. But come on, look at the batfam and tell me there isn’t at least a little tism in all of them.

You are also very right in Bruce just not noticing the signs in most of his kids since he’s autistic himself and that behavior is the norm for him. Alfred was most likely the one who had Bruce tested when he was younger, so it would have to be Alfred who steps in and advises them to get checked out, just in case.

Tim just happens to slip under the radar, maybe because of the stress at the time he joined the family, or they were all just too busy at the time, so it just slipped their minds.

Tim is also very good as masking, having grown up with his parents, acting “strange” wasn’t allowed, so he’s mastered the skill of hiding his less approved quirks. So, you’ll never see him stimming or rocking in public, or around people for that matter.

It was only after you two started dating and became very close that he started to let it slip, unconsciously of course. But it’s because he doesn’t feel the need to hide around you, and you are one of his comfort people.

The family doesn’t fully notice in the beginning as Tim grows more comfortable not masking and starts mirroring you. Infodumping is a common occurrence in the family, especially with the type of work they do, so when Tim is talking to you about cameras or his favorite band in extreme detail, They just think it’s a normal happening.

Damian is the first to notice, and he would think you two are trying to punk him somehow. When you and Tim always do things in tandem, picking up your drinks at the same time, always pushing your chairs back and getting up together, using the same type of glass or plates, etc.

He wouldn’t confront either of you obviously, since he doesn’t want to play into your hands. But then your mirroring becomes even more obvious. Like mirroring stims, meaning Tim starts stimming the same way you do.

Do you flap your hands? Tim now does too. Verbal stims? Catch Tim making the same noises over comms during patrol. You both also come to enjoy the same textures if you don’t already, because those textures remind you of each other.

It finally clicks for Bruce when he sees Tim and you wearing each other’s clothes and using stim toys, whilst rocking back and forth on the couch, excited to see your comfort movie. It makes Bruce want to facepalm because it’s been so obvious this entire time.

When he asks Alfred about it, the Brit just gives him a bland look whilst saying something along the lines of “Master Bruce, I thought it was obvious from the start”, because Bruce has a habit picking up kids with the tism.

After that Tim finally gets tested and gets his diagnosis. Not that it changes anything other than what’s on paper. But it does help Tim feel better, as in the past he probably struggled with feeling wrong or like he didn’t fit in.

When Damian also realizes you two weren’t trying to dupe him, he settles with his arms crossed and huffs, saying that of course that was the reason since you two couldn’t get the upper hand on him anyways.

The entire fam shares fidget toys or different coping things. The house is stocked with everyone’s comfort food, clothes, media, etc. The walls are made so sound doesn’t pass through them, the fridge and electronics are also upgraded so they don’t make those buzzing sounds. It’s like autism heaven.

You also are included since your dating Tim, and you two are very happy together. The family is also thankful in you helping Tim come out of his shell, even though neither of you realized you were doing it.

[hazelnut-u-out]

What would your ideal Morty therapy appointment look like (assuming that he went alone)? 🤔

Going to try to answer this even though my brain feels like mush, lol.

So, there are quite a few things I'd like to see. Obviously, I wouldn't expect a single episode to actually tackle every aspect of what therapy would realistically look like for a character like Morty, but hey-- at this rate, every episode aside from 'Fear No Mort' that's attempted to psychoanalyze him hasn't done the best job, I fear... *cough cough*

Anyway, here are some of the things I'd like to see addressed in an actual therapy setting (importantly, not some other form of psychoanalysis, like the Fear Hole, Roy, etc.):

Autism/Pilot Disability

It bothers me every day that the writers never followed up on that throw-away line about Morty having a disability in the pilot. Obviously, I headcanon that he's autistic (I mean, surely that's half of the dynamic with Rick right there, lol). I personally think that Rick and Morty have some autistic traits that present to the opposing extremes. For example, I think Rick struggles with hypo-empathy and Morty with hyper-empathy. I think Rick excels in math where Morty excels in English/literature. I think Rick struggles to mask and Morty is high masking. Rick just doesn't people please to survive in the same way Morty has been socialized to. (Most of this is my interpretation of the characters, but there are scenes that back up my points, as I'm sure you've caught onto, haha.) I think it would be cool to see Morty open up about feeling ostracized from his peers, struggling to make friends his own age, struggling with feelings of being 'behind'/weird/awkward, and how all of that made him the perfect victim. This is probably the least likely of my wants to be addressed in a therapy setting. I think that if they confirm it, it'd be in a pretty lowkey way, similar to what they did with Rick. I think the cold open for 'Mort: Ragnarick' might've actually been an indication that Morty isn't neurotypical, but we knew that already. I actually sort of headcanon Goldenfold's class as a remedial math course because of how simple the math seems to be, though I'm sure it was initially just some math they threw in for the pilot.

2. Grooming...

This is a tough one to include. Morty has been with WAYYY too many older women throughout the course of the show, but Planetina in particular gives me the chills. I would love to see how that's impacted him, or maybe even how his abusive dynamic with Rick and his neglectful relationship with his parents pushed him into that vulnerable position even more.

3. Mommy Issues (or neglectful parenting in general)

This one is a good follow-up for the last one. Morty's dynamic with Beth in 'A Rickconvenient Mort' is something I literally get up in the middle of the night just to think about. It makes my chest ache. I think it's because I know exactly how it feels to be Morty in that situation. When your parents constantly downplay your own feelings, put you in dangerous/vulnerable situations with reckless abandon, and completely shut you out emotionally it can feel like they just want to ruin your life when they try to protect you. To be honest, the show's dynamic wouldn't exist without Beth's negligence. Morty has two moms and neither of them have really tried to protect him. Even Jerry failed him.

4. Crying.

Idk, just lots of it. He deserves to cry about whatever he wants and be validated.

5. Justifying Rick's Actions

I would LOVE to see Morty try to explain Rick's actions away to someone who actually cares if he's being abused. I could see Morty say something to a therapist, there be a negative reaction or uncomfortable silence, and him try to say: 'It's really for my own good, though, you see...'/'You just don't know Rick the way I do. I'm the only one who really gets him...'/'It would break Mom's heart...'/'He would never hurt me on purpose...' Then to have a professional get in there and really debunk that internalized manipulation? I would die (in a good way).

5. Trauma Responses

They've sort of been hinting at this for a bit, but I think the whole point of Rick's improvement-- at least, in Morty's case-- is 'too little too late.' Rick may be getting better, but how is Morty supposed to trust him? Especially when Rick has been 'nice' for the express purpose of hurting him before? Even in his everyday life, I'm sure he has those moments of anxiety/dread/odd behavior because of the shit he's been through.

There's more, but my brain is fried right now, so maybe I'll revisit this ask later. Anyway, this was fun to think about! Thanks for asking! <3

[kafus]

SO... do you headcannon anyone in horizons as autistic?

OH BOY DO I

so dot is the most obvious choice. there is no universe in which she is not autistic to me. this is one of my strongest dot headcanons actually and one of the main reasons i enjoy her as a character. there are so many reasons for this i could go on endlessly but i'll just list a few big ones here

her extreme passion for her interests at a disregard for almost everything else & her ability to self teach those topics (not to mention her interests have to do with computing)

her difficulties with food overlap a lot with food sensitivities autistic people often have, also her latching onto donuts as a sort of samefood after finally trying them once

the tendency to wear loose, comfortable clothes and more recently she has complained while wearing tighter clothes (the orange academy school uniform) so it's not just that she prefers loose fabric, she also is put off by the alternative. girl your sensory problems

irritable outbursts when struggling to articulate herself/make herself understood

her connection with kanuchan (tinkatink) felt really neurodivergent to me. she wasn't offput by her behavior, even after stealing her prop mic, and was immediately able to understand her when no one else could or was willing to. not sure how to articulate this one right now but i hope you see what i mean

her tendency to sit cross legged and lean over herself reminds me a lot of my personal autistic tendency to need a pressure/weighted feeling while i sit or have body parts touching

social exhaustion, the need to be alone sometimes even when she cares

the list genuinely goes on i have to stop myself LOL

as for other characters,

so for liko i'm more loose about the headcanon, it's definitely more of me projecting than her being overtly autistic in canon but i still think it lines up if u wanna view her that way. i'm autistic and i personally relate to liko a lot becauseee

she is giving hyperempathy autism to me. the way she is overly empathetic and compassionate to her own detriment and yet still has to have her hand held through articulating & dealing with that or putting the logical parts of empathy together

the way she absolutely fucking Explodes with excitement sometimes

the way in which she relates to cats, and her whole thing about having a hard time getting other people to understand her. these two things go hand in hand

there's something neurodivergent about her trying to connect with sprigatito by studying her and writing notes about her behavior lol

while this is kind of just on the account of her being an anime character and a protagonist at that, liko's facial expressions and body language can be pretty exaggerated sometimes which reminds me of my own body language, i'm cartoonishly animated in real life often LOL

so like basically dot is so obviously autistic to me it's like breathing but for liko it's kind of a hc i apply to her for projection purposes & fun but i think it's reasonable

and lastly so i'm not just talking about solely liko and dot for the millionth time,

ORIO!! honestly we don't even know that much about orio but the one episode where she was helping pokeball lady i forget the name of fix her machine. the really narrow attention to detail/seeing the smaller parts instead of the bigger picture. also her expertise in engineering contrasted with her struggling with tasks outside of that (like when she was trying to sew holes in the brave asagi and for the life of her could not do it so she called murdock for help lol)

and actually one more - while i don't necessarily headcanon amethio as autistic, i think it's a fun headcanon/au idea to not only give him a redemption arc but an autism unmasking arc at the same time. representation for all my repressed autistics out there. in my mind

thanks for asking i'm so autistic about horizons so of course i headcanon them with autism too JOISJOIFD

[sweetmariihs2]

Cedric Masterlist update - and the search for the STF magazines 💫🎂

I have like. A whole notes file full of links I've been collecting to add to the Cedric masterlist, and at the same time I've bought and scanned around what, 7 stf magazines? That I own.

That's a part of the notes file that I have, there are more links (some of the links are from some of you guy's blogs, it's an honor to have them in my masterlist)

I want to add these links to my masterlist BUT I need to add the links to the magazines first, since we can't know for sure how many links a Tumblr post can support

That's A LIE since my masterlist has more than 100 links counted and they all still work

So since I'm prioritizing the links to the magazines I'm still going to put on Google drive (and the (money to buy) and hours I spent scanning each one of them), I can't add the links that I have collected my notes app because I don't know what's the link limit

Since not all the magazines that I bought has Cedric in them, some of them logically would be cut out of the masterlist, which would make things really messy cuz the most organized option would be to have all of them in the same place

So I'm thinking about making them a separate post and add a link to it in the Cedric masterlist instead.

BUT I CAN'T DO THAT YET

All of the magazines in brazillian portuguese that I found to buy on Google... I... already bought them... (they were three) and they're already scanned and in my hands muahaha

So the best places to search for the rest are, obviously, on the internet, and SHOCKINGLY, in person.

Because I live in a small brazillian town, I go to magazine stands since I was a little girl. In my town there were some, and you could find those official and unofficial magazines quarterly made, themed around characters such as Monster High, Strawberry Shortcake, Disney Princesses and of course Sofia The First

In that small town that I live in, unfortunately all the magazine stands changed a lot and they don't sell that stuff like they did some time ago. Now many are just street vendors. There were like, three of them in my town? When I tell you it's small, IT'S BECAUSE IT IS

And because it is small, when we (me and people from my town) want to go to better hospitals, consult with doctors, even shopping with a major variety of shops, we go to the neighboring town that's a little bit bigger than ours

AND SURPRISINGLY THE MAGAZINE STANDS THERE ARE STILL ALIVE AND SELLING REAL MAGAZINES

I guess a huge reason behind it is the interest that people are having in buying japanese mangas, and I'm seeing a lot of manga there, and because that town has a little more movement than mine, people are constantly passing through and buying, keeping those sellers' shops and the culture of reading on paper still alive

Whenever I go there, it's because I need to see a doctor, dentist, or rent dresses for a party or wedding, I never go just "to go". I'm autistic so I don't usually leave my town without one of my parents, I'm a little scared actually (help, I can't get used to my age) but I'm thinking about taking courage and trying at least once to being able to shop, without having to follow my parents everywhere they go or hearing complaints about them wanting to go home already. Because when I go with my parents to do something specific there, we can never go to places that I want to visit, like stores for example, except when they are on the way to the place we're going to, and it needs to be fast or else they're gonna start to rush me

The last time I went there, for an eye exam, there was a magazine stand near the doctor I went and I managed to find two STF magazines in the short 10 minutes I was there, with my eyes dilated with eye drops, that is, without seeing almost anything. There are five magazine stands there (I just looked through google maps) that I've never visited, even the one I went to and I couldn't look for the magazines properly because of my parents rushing me and my blurred vision. I actually made a post about my visit there and the magazines that I bought.

Furthermore, a friend of mine visited some stationery stores there and brought me as a gift a card of STF stickers, which I use in my sketchbook, and told me that she went to 5 stores and all of them had STF stuff, including more cards of stickers. I got a card that had some Sofias and a Fauna sticker on it, my friend told me that there are other cards with Flora and Merryweather that complete the set, the same with Amber, but she only brought me one as a gift she knew I would like. I really want to look at these stationery stores too, and find her other sisters to add them to my sketchbook 🥺

But yeah, going back to the subject, I still belive I didn't found all the available STF magazines in my region yet. As shocking as it may be, it's easier for me to find them in person than on the Internet, I'm lucky enough that my region has things like this, magazine stands that sell some really old stuff simply because no one bought them in 2015, and they are still there waiting to be bought.

As soon as I go there and FINALLY look everywhere I can (I'm 100% sure I'll find more magazine issues), and finally scan them, to finally make a post listing them, then I'll be able to add the link to the blog in my Cedric masterlist.

But I can't because I have to wait for a day when one of my parents has to go there, OR MAYBE, have a conversation with them and prepare myself to leave the city alone for the first time, and it would have to be on a day when I don't have classes to go to, plus I want to call a friend so I won't have to go completely alone. WAIT THIS WEEK I HAVE IT, IT'S TOMORROW, SHOULD I?

I think it's very close and I won't be able to prepare properly, plus I would have to talk to my parents first and schedule everything with my friend. I don't think it will happen tomorrow. I think the best thing to do is wait for my parents to have something or work to do there, and take a few minutes out of their visit to go to some magazine stands and stationery stores. I can go alone but I never did this before HELP it's one hour away 😭

I'll ask if my mother if she would like to go there just to do some shopping and spend some time together, she sometimes likes to go and buy some things there, we'll see

Telling you all this may make this masterlist and magazine thing seem like a lot of work, but I actually love doing it, it's therapeutic

live laugh love hyperfocus ❤️

Edit: I forgot to add something to this post so I made a part two.

[lostrandoblog]

Okay so after watching the pilot episode of The Amazing Digital Circus, I have a lot to say.

I'll start with Jax, who is quite popular. He may not be as much of a shithead as he may appear. He leaves the two most mentally fragile characters behind (he likely had the sense that something was wrong), snapped Pomni out of her dissociative panic, shoved Kinger and Gangle into the hole to hide before jumping in himself even though he could have easily just left them behind. He's still a jerk, obviously, but there are subtle tells that he isn't as mean as he plays himself out to be.

Also, I know his stepping on Gangle's mask seemed mean, but I swear it feels like more to me. Masking and hiding emotions is an unhealthy coping mechanism, which Jax can probably recognize. So he did it in his passive-aggressive way of being helpful.

Which Segways into what I want to say about Gangle. I saw a short on YouTube that discussed the hints about the characters via their designs. In which it was stated Gangles mask could symbolize she's dramatic and being made of ribbon because she's fragile. Both of them make sense but I think also alternatively, Gangle has a habit of Masking. Whether in autistic sense or emotional sense, it's too soon to truly tell. (Probably both) and being made of ribbon symbolizes that she bends to others whims. So basically she's a doormat. Maybe? Idk maybe I'm projecting a bit too much with this one.

Now for Zooble. What I find interesting about Zooble is their ability to be taken apart and put back together, which isn't a trait we see in the other characters. Pomni tries and gets as far as pulling her eye out of her socket, but it goes right back into place when she lets go. Bubble is able to pop, but they're an ai, and it's not quite the same. This unique trait could be symbolism for how much of a mess they are? Also, the chaotic design feels like it could be a sign of struggling with decisions or a sense of self since there's very little rhyme or reason to their appearance. Once again, we'll have to wait and see.

Next is Pomni. An absolutely delightful, anxious mess. I've seen some hate for her and that's she's being overdramatic and I just?? Don't see whatever these people are seeing. Pomni is rightfully freaked out, in such a strange place surrounded by strange people, not even able to remember her own name. Not to mention, her first day was chaotic. She still hadn't come to terms with the situation when she met her first Abstraction. Of course, she would panic. Any even semi sane person would panic. And she didn't immediately flee like Jax did either, she wanted to help Ragatha but there was too much going on and it seems entirely possible she wasn't even capable of helping given what happened when Pomni tried to grab Ragatha's hand. She went back for her too, so it's clear that Pomni does care to an extent even if she's unable to fully comprehend her situation.

Wow this post is already very long. I think I'll leave it off here for now but I have plenty more thoughts on this whacky series. It's my new hyperfixation so I'll probably ramble again about them in the near future. Pardon me if this was terrible I don't make posts like this often.

[umemiyan]

ROBIN!!! im absolutely in LOVE with postmortem/postpartum, its such a good fic and its so refreshing honestly to see such a creative, interesting concept be explored especially with so much care and love. i said this in my tags but thats rly what fanfic is all about, EXPLORING!!! exploring canon, exploring characters, putting them in new situations and seeing what happens. i love love love it. and seeing gojo in such a brand new, vulnerable light, with both him and reader navigating life as a disabled-coded person following his death and resurrection, is so fascinating. and when he did the divine dogs hand motion to megumi i literally almost cried. if its ok with u, i had a couple questions!!!

what was reader before the incident? a teacher at jujutsu high? just a friend to satoru? im interested in what role they played prior to everything that happened. obviously megumi knew reader, but im curious what that relationship is!!

how with it is satoru? reader had to pick out his outfit and bathe and feed him, we’ve seen that much, but is he able to dress himself? how well does he move - walking and such? does reader always have to help feed him or was that just a one time occurrence to encourage him to eat?

SORRY if im bombarding you with too many questions, i just love this concept so much and im so fascinated with it 🤍🤍🤍

AH HELLO!!!!!!! omg i saw your wonderful tags earlier while i was working and i was just so giddy to read them!!!! thank you so much 💕 i really am enjoying exploring this story and am happy that others are as well 🥹 i felt like maybe the whole thing would just be something only i would be interested in LOL which would’ve been totally fine tbh but i’m thrilled to see it resonating with other people!!

no worries about asking questions at all! thank you for doing so! i realize some things have been rather vague thus far and probably have a few people wondering what the deal is lol

more details will be revealed somewhat soon in the story i suppose, but so far my intention has been for reader to be a sorcerer—not necessarily a teacher, but many sorcerers do of course tend to engage with the school and its students, so that’s where the familiarity comes from. it will also be implied that they and gojo were either classmates or otherwise very close in age during school (that’s a specific detail i haven’t exactly landed on yet lol)

as for satoru, i’ve honestly been playing it a little loose when it comes to his condition thus far, though i would like to perhaps refine some of these details in my mind. however, it’s purposefully meant to come across a bit wishy-washy since it’s truly something that everyone is learning as they go along. in my mind, the time since satoru’s revival/awakening has really not been long at all—maybe two weeks at the most. new things are being unearthed every day.

however!! he is very much inspired by brain injury patients as well as autistic individuals with higher support needs (somewhere in between levels 2 and 3). it’s a bit of a concoction of both (as well as tidbits of other things) based on my own observations and research rather than something that’s more clearly defined as being coded as one or the other, especially since what happened to him was… not normal LMAO so there are some supernatural aspects as well that sort of make it its own /thing/

his motor functions are pretty normal for the most part aside from perhaps the occasional coordination issue, though i almost imagine that his six eyes/powers are automatically trying to overcompensate for such things?? which would in turn cause extra fatigue at the end of the day. but tbh that’s something i’m going to put more thought into!!

one of his biggest issues is with executive function/initiating tasks and making decisions. the cognitive impairments are what require reader’s prompting and assistance a lot of the time. however, reader is also potentially overcompensating (or lacking) in some areas as well simply because they haven’t been able to accurately gauge all of satoru’s capabilities yet and are overall not used to caring for someone at this level.

so while he is actually physically able to perform most tasks, the cognitive function isn’t quite there, nor are the memories on how to engage in certain tasks (probably mostly those with more steps/complications) without prompting and reminders. it can take his brain a little bit longer to calculate and process several things.

i just have this image in my head of reader pulling underwear over their pants or something while trying to demonstrate to him how to get dressed without having to fully intervene LMFAO since they are trying to maintain some modesty/distance at the moment. which… probably won’t last for long tbh because it’s not quite practical at this stage.

but there is maybe a little room for neurological improvement on his end! however, it is not my goal for the story to see that he is “fixed” or anything of the sort, nor do i want it to diminish his person. it’s a balancing act!

sorry i just rambled a lot skdjsjsnshdudidie but once again, thank you so much for reading and asking!!! discussions like these really help me understand my thoughts a lot better and i really enjoy hearing yours as well! it certainly helps keep the inspiration flowing rather than all of these little things getting trapped up in my mind lol 💖

[datastate]

(sending this as an ask because it got WAYY too long to be a reply whoops) i really like your opinions on the routes!! especially on the ais waugh…. i am planning on playing kanna's routes whenever i eventually replay this summer + i am excited to see what they entail…. but yeah overall i really like your thoughts and man do i need to replay yttd T_T it has been so long. (+ this is where the reply turned into a small ramble about qtaro because the autism) plus your comment about how the main games have gone + the qtaro thing. sorry i am ill about him. glad to see someone who understands his intent there because although i am not active in fandom ANYMORE i used to see so many people absolutely hating him for that (<- like obviously not the best way of going about things but he had intentions. okay?) (also i would like to make the comment of although in 8th grade i had intense hyperfixation on alice, ever since my first playthrough in 6th grade (HOW HAS IT BEEN THAT LONG?!) qtaro has + always will be my favorite sorry society….). i still remember when 3-1b came out + so many people were like "oh maybe qtaro is not deplorable" meanwhile i was over here #1 qtaro fan sobbing. sorry this is so long

(in response to this ask! also, for my own sake, i've broken up replying this into little sections :] <3 but i don't mind at all!!!)

REPLAYING YTTD

oho...!! i do think even a general replay (without seeing other routes) is really worthwhile to get a better feel for the characters & see how you can recontextualize things they're doing/have said at the time... i love combing through to see what nao and kai were up to in particular just before the main games <3

while i do think there was more that nankidai could've stood to do to differentiate the two routes particularly to make kanna & shin's separate routes feel like an actual choice, i do think that what small things are changed are still worthwhile & cool to see! i hope you enjoy your replay!!! :D

Q-TARO

YEAH exactly... i'm really sad that it's taken until his literal death to truly appreciate him as a character when more morally ambiguous characters like... well. shin, keiji, and even kai (though i'd honestly argue that most people don't see kai for who he is, you know; rather they place emphasis on his attractive appearance...) -- what they've done & how they behave are excused because they're, frankly, thin enough to care abt.

i've gone on about this before, so i won't linger much more than i need to, but i find it so strange that most people don't seem to recognize that - if not in the moment, i can understand that everyone's emotions are in a swirl. even the player's, but in chapter two when he says he felt a connection w kai - q-taro is autistic. and this definitely makes how he approached things in the first main game all the more understandable, personally... being so blunt about it when he'd settled on it being the clear solution, he even outright says that he doesn't want to see any of them just resign themselves right away to being voted out! & then we learn in ch3 as well that he's also experienced suicidal ideation which just lends so much more value to what he says...!! he doesn't want anyone to die, but certainly not with the belief that it's the only option they had. he wants them to at least have the chance to fight, just in case. and he's willing to hold himself to the same standard!

of course, first impressions mean a lot, but i feel like people saw this and completely missed the entirety of chapter 2 where he quickly warms up to gin afterward & even apologizes to sara for all she's had to deal with, despite it not being his fault, and expressing that he wishes there was something he could do even irt miley... he cares so much abt the kids within the group, even if it takes a lot of courage to support strangers when he knows he has other kids waiting at home for him... he still tries his damnedest, you know? i feel like there's something about that you have to respect. even when he's attempting to leave, you visibly see how conflicted he is about it & it's why sara can pick up on it so early, because he doesn't want to do this, it just feels like the only option... which. well. there's something to say about how gin's the one who's freely handing out tokens and yet q-taro goes to someone like sara first. someone who's been steadily pushed into the figurehead of the group, who is clearly strategic... versus someone who resembles the people q-taro's trying to get back to. hmmm. i sure wonder what the implications are here. (& i have a post for you. that you might enjoy... i've been meaning to write it for a while but i forget. but the idea is there.)

but. yeah... they didn't give him much room to grow in their mind after this point, which is so disappointing & definitely created a very toxic space. beyond that, it played into general southern stereotypes of him being the only homophobic/transphobic one, which i honestly often find treatment of to be in poor taste (it can be used well in stories, but you shouldn't just. throw bigotry on characters simply because you hate them...) -- but also just. blatantly untrue?

even just. everything about his treatment of people in general being so understanding once you explain something to him, or his desire to be a good person worthy of looking up to (which is why it doubly wrecks him when he sees himself become disabled/suicidal in the hospital, because he's become such a rotten person and he feels it and it's a terrible, terrible cycle) for the orphanage kids & to prove something to the parents who abandoned him that he's still worthy of being loved too... he believes in equivalent exchange in social dynamics, only ever giving out what you can take, just... in what world would he be so insensitive?

and this isn't even bringing up the fact that he has slightly longer than shoulder-length hair + nonetheless treats kai/mishima with a lot of respect and care even with them both generally being considered (physically, as well as in their demeanor) strange. combined with the fact that he relates to kai on the basis of being "lonely" rather than "loved" for what's unchangeable about them... there's so much there to read into. not just with autism or ptsd, but. gestures. transgenderism, being mixed, so on. things that sara had people to help support her with prior to the death game, or that she lacked altogether (if she's fully japanese)

but i digress! i'm glad that ch3-1 skirted some hatred toward him, but i definitely agree -- he's such a well-rounded characters even prior to that & it deserved to be acknowledged...!!

[smile-files]

What is camp keshet about, if you don't mind me asking?

okayy!!! so, for one thing, the story has morphed a ton since it was called "camp keshet". now it's called "the mothmen" and has a completely different setting: a boarding school! it retains the butterfly/moth symbolism and imagery of previous iterations of the story.

in general the story has major themes of transformation, growth, making the world a better place (tikkun olam), identity, friendship, and love. there's also a lot of gay, trans, and autistic people here if you're interested :)

the boarding school, named "lady alexandra's academy for bright pupils", seems quite altruistic on its surface: an affordable, high-quality middle- and high-school education for everyone! but its corruption is hidden in the fact that it is supported by several wealthy donors… the school very covertly grants privileges to students who are children of these donors: it places them in an "honors program" which gives them perks, such as priority class choice, better dorms, and other things like that. they get away with this by having a placement test for the program, opening sign-ups early, and letting these rich families know first before other families, making it so the program always gets filled up with rich kids. the benchmark to get into the "honors program" is really low, so most of the kids aren't even that smart; it was really just a sneaky first-come, first-serve system. the kids in this program, rich and popular, are known as the "social butterflies" by their peers -- and, in addition to the aforementioned privileges they receive, the social butterflies are more likely to get away with things and be favored by their teachers, and many bully their peers. they also wear different uniforms than the other students: some element of their clothing (i haven't decided what yet) is white for them and brown for the others -- referencing cabbage white butterflies, a very common butterfly, and pantry moths, a very common moth.

so that's the setting! …well, what about the characters? for reference, the story starts when all of them are starting high school at the academy. also, i should note how racism is significant in two characters' backstories (lexi and shai) -- i obviously have no personal experience with being the target of racism, being white, and of course i want to tell stories about people different from me, but i'm open to critique about the way i go about things. i try to deconstruct white savior and white guilt tropes, for example, between shai and damien, and i feel like i'm successful in that, though i'd love to hear what others think.

lexi is quite the interesting person! throughout her life, she has always found making friends very difficult. she'd always be too loud, or too annoying, or too weird, and nobody ever liked her (a victim of classism, anti-asian racism, and anti-autistic ableism, though none of this really clicked for her at the time). the same friendlessness continued when she began to attend the academy for middle school -- this was only amplified by the corruption of the school, as many social butterflies relentlessly bullied her. but, weirdly enough, throughout all of this, lexi was never upset at the people who hated or bullied her -- she was just upset at the fact that she was lonely. well, lexi noticed that she wasn't the only one tormented by the social butterflies -- so she came up with a plan. she would unite many of these less-than-privileged students in a group she would call "the mothmen", telling them that she would lead them in a revolution against the social butterflies. she had no real intention of following through, and she didn't care about anything happening to the social butterflies -- she just wanted to have people liking and listening to her. she just wanted friends. there lies one of the strangest things about lexi -- for the longest time she didn't realize that she, personally, had stake in this revolution too, that she was also a victim of bullying and bigotry, that she really does care about the issue she's been pretending to care about. she starts out the story forming the mothmen, and spends a while just making them do meaningless tasks just to keep them around -- all the while trying to be all buddy-buddy with them, when, because they actually care about the issue, this is more like a job than a social thing, and that she's more of a boss than a friend. she becomes incredibly clingy to damien, and later noah (whom you'll meet in a bit); she gets called out for her bs by damien; she eventually learns to care about people and things, with shai's help, and helps lead the mothmen to an actual revolution. lexi is one of my favorite characters i've ever written: she's so pathetic and weird and cool, a ball of volatile, selfish emotions wrapped in the shell of a charismatic and caring leader. she's pretty awesome.

the next two characters really transition mid-story, so i'm gonna be deadnaming and misgendering them a little for the sake of clarity (using the names and pronouns they would be addressed by in the relevant times)… sorry shai! sorry noah!

noa was best friends with this girl named miriam in elementary school (i'm pretty sure the both are jewish and that they were at a jewish elementary school). miriam and noa were thick as thieves, as far as noa could tell, and they did everything together. noa was going to move after 5th, as her family couldn't afford any of the middle schools nearby -- miriam and noa made a promise that they'd only be friends with each other, that everything would stay the same the next time they met. well, noa certainly kept up her end of the bargain! noa resigned herself to not make friends with anyone else, and not change a thing about herself. this ended up being really odd for her, as she's a ridiculously sweet, endearing, easygoing, and easy-to-get-along-with person: many people in middle school wanted to be friends with her, and she'd like them quite a bit herself, but the word "friend" scared her off and made her distance herself from them (nobody ever really cared enough to look into that, though… it didn't take much of a push for them to abandon all investment in noa's emotions). so noa spent middle school completely friendless -- and, oddly enough, miriam never seemed to pick up the phone or respond to her letters. no matter! noa was still fine to wait for her (noa is a very naive and loyal person)… right? well, she was kind of sad… and she was always a very nervous and very sensitive person, so it was kinda hard having nobody there for her anymore… it was also hard, because noa was starting to feel that maybe she wasn't a girl, but didn't wanna act on it and break the promise of staying the same (she takes things seriously and literally… always purposefully written to have autism). all of this is still the case with noa by the time the story starts and she enrolls at the academy -- but a lot, and i mean a lot happens to change things! she gets recruited into the mothmen by lexi; she ends up actually befriending someone, hannah, after being terrified of the notion, and the two help each other get over their pasts and be their trans selves (now noah and shai respectively); he gets a weird gay thing going on between him and damien (though he's gay for shai and lexi too, let's be honest); oh yeah, and he gets to punch miriam in the face, who turns out to be the leader of the social butterflies, but more on that later. noah is such a fun character -- so full of love and sadness and fear and loneliness, with such a big heart that it's too big to fit in his body. i love him so much and he's so close to my heart for too many reasons to describe <3

now hannah… hannah went to the same middle school as damien. and that school was also full of rich bullies, though they weren't formalized in some group like the social butterflies. hannah always thought she wasn't a girl, that she was nonbinary, and expressed as much, but was relentlessly bullied for that and other things -- not only was she queer, but she was also black, and many of her peers were downright horrible to her. then she began to lash out -- being cruel to all of her classmates, even those who weren't mean to her, and threatening some into being her "friend". one day, though, damien -- whom we will later meet as a rich, quite privileged guy -- defended hannah from his friends' bullying. because of his social impact, folks stopped bullying her nearly as much, and she in turn stopped lashing out -- but she also began to idolize damien, who now was her first friend, seeing him as her redeemer, the one who showed her the truth of friendship. hannah began to morph herself into him: she hid away all of the stuff that was the bullies' target -- her transness, her blackness, her righteous anger and rage even (damien, being cis, white, and calm, is none of those things). she assimilated in every possible way, and continues to do so upon attending the academy. hannah and damien had become good friends; he let her swap the part of the academy uniform that was white for him and brown for her such that she could really assimilate and pretend to be a social butterfly. and while she does end up getting some of the privileges (not like that was her goal in pretending), she still faces some racism from her social butterfly peers. all the while though, hannah's being overly kind and sweet, trying to be friendly with everyone, and perhaps be who damien was to her, to someone else -- this someone else ends up being noa, whom she ends up discovering is really weird about friend stuff while trying obsessively hard to be his friend. through wanting to help noa with her self, hannah realizes she has to help herself with her own, and with him find themselves. they end up calling themselves "shai", the hebrew word for gift which noah taught them. they end up working through their complicated relationship with damien, leave behind the assimilation, and get through to lexi who has had similar problems making friends. there's also other stuff going on with her too, with the mothmen and the social butterflies. god i love shai! augh! such a complex character!! as mentioned before, this covers a lot of territory i'm not personally familiar with, so please tell me if you have any issues!!! yay!!!

next is damien!! in middle school, he was the perfect kid: rich, popular, good grades, handsome, you name it. well, he was perfect to everyone else, at least… damien hated himself! he saw every flaw in himself, such as his emotional detachment, coldness, and inaction, and hated how nobody else did, instead loving him unconditionally. nobody ever got upset at him for anything… he had a very strong moral compass, and was appalled that he wasn't facing repercussions for not doing the right thing. normally, he never stopped his friends from bullying others just because he wouldn't let himself emotionally engage with either them or the victim (he spends a lot of time emotionally engaged with himself, however) -- when he pushed himself to stand up for hannah, it was mostly just to get rid of his own guilt for never doing the right thing in other, similar situations. he ends up being caught between guilt/self-pitying and actual investment in the right thing -- he realizes the former in himself, and ends up feeling extra guilty for that! oh yeah, he's also kinda ashamed about being gay and not facing any homophobia cuz of his privilege… but anyway, out of anger towards his fellow rich elite, and out of shame for being a part of it, damien begins to take on an edgy persona, pushing himself away from the aesthetic of privilege he used to have by default. he swaps uniforms with hannah at the academy so he can be free of the elite class there, the social butterflies, and in so doing can fight them on the side of the mothmen. damien remains good friends with hannah, but their relationship is inhibited by the fact that hannah idolizes him and he pities her. he ends up being pushed away from his self-centered reasons for fighting bigotry/the social butterflies (i.e. guilt) when he discovers lexi's self-centered reasons for starting the mothmen to begin with (he's outed as being secretly rich around this time, lol) -- his relationships with shai and noah also develop, pushing him more into actually wanting to change things for the better, including himself, without all of the moping and pity parties, and he ends up helping a lot in getting the revolution going. i'd say i'm more invested in the others than i am in him, though i still love him immensely and think he's super fun! guy who's always pissed off for the wrong reason…

last but not least is miriam!!!!! (sorry, more deadnaming!) after noa moved, miriam completely forgot about her -- miriam was never actually that close to noa, despite what noa (and miriam herself) thought in elementary school, and the promise completely slipped her mind (not that it was ever a reasonable one -- but the principle certainly escaped her too). she made new friends and completely changing herself, including transitioning into a guy (jonah) right before high school (worth noting is that he also fell out of touch with his new middle school friends before going to high school, as he wasn't that close with them ever). jonah's father was a huge donor of the academy, making it easy for it all to be very hush-hush about him being trans; aside from family and a few staff members, everyone at school knows him to be biologically male. because of the importance of his dad, and his general richness, jonah becomes head of the social butterflies at the academy. and wouldn't you know it? he actually gets really close to them! he has a small, formalized in-group, and he genuinely gets along with all of them. because of this, he becomes incredibly defensive of his being trans, worried he'd lose them if they find out -- this comes to a head when he sees noa at the academy (whom he instantly recognizes, as she looks the exact same), who's now a threat, as she knew him as a girl: if she recognized him, it'd be game over. because of this, jonah starts to harbor some strange kind of hatred for her, as if she represents his past (as well as his hidden transness) -- all the moreso as he watches him transition into a guy too. i don't have it all fully fleshed out, but there's a lot of internalized transphobia going on here, and he has his friends pick on him because of that. i imagine throughout this whole thing, hannah ends up friends with jonah as well, and a lot of weird stuff happens there as well… maybe (before recognizing themselves as nonbinary) she sees jonah pick on noah (beginning to transition) one too many times and she lashes out, both revealing the social butterfly ruse and the transness (this is an idea i thought of just now)… and there's stuff between jonah and damien as well -- jonah has an inkling damien's secretly rich, and keeps trying to get him to associate with the social butterflies, for one thing. and, of course, lexi at first pretends to hate jonah's guts, but partly through seeing the horrible things noah and shai face because of him, she realizes how truly terrible he is and everything. i don't know if i want jonah to be redeemed or anything, but he's certainly a complex character. the horrors of internalized transphobia! ahh!! he gets beat up by noah during the revolution though, so it's okay. if he does get redeemed to any extent, maybe he tries to get his dad to do something to fix the school? i don't know? i'd have to think about it. either way, a fun character!!

yay! so that's that. a bunch of gay weirdos go about ending the reign of bigots at their school in multiple bizarre ways, if they're actually going about it at all

[the-yearning-astronaut]

autumnal asks!!!!! 🎃 crow (of course 🐦‍⬛ :)), frost and maple??

Crow: what school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

--- learning new languages and being better at math. I've attempted 4 languages now and I just.... I cannot retain the information properly. Math is technically a language, too, so. Yeah. Like I can do math! But holy hell is it hard. And it takes a LOT of effort to get through. (Meanwhile I had classmates doing calculus in their head without needing to write down the steps....)

I already answered the other two! So I'll answer two others instead 💛

Pumpkin: do you think humans are inherently good or bad?

--- I think humans as a species are inherently neutral. We are neither good or bad we just Are. Individual humans are something else tho and what they are is complicated.

Ghost: is there someone you miss having in your life?

Many someone's. Some have been harder to let go of then others, but I'm trying.

BONUS:

Harvest: what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

Murderbot 💛 obviously. I've never related to a character more. It's autistic it's agender it's aroace spec. It's anxious and depressed and trying it's best. It just wants to help people and would do anything for the people it loves. I could go on all night.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve finished the audiobook for Fern Brady’s Strong Female Character, which came out last week. Even before I’d finished it I kept starting to write posts about it, and not going anywhere, basically because I can’t think of any way to do it without doing the thing she says here she doesn’t want to do. Writing the Tumblr post equivalent of a BBC3 doc where I cry at the 45-minute mark, and I don’t want to do that. I’ve written some posts like that before and I’m sure I will again, just don’t really want to write now, also there was so much that got to me in that book that I kind of want to just keep in my own head for now.

But Jesus, it was one hell of a book. Not an easy thing to listen to, and I wish I could think of a less cliche way to say she didn’t always come out of it looking good but showing the bad stuff too was the point. Cliches I’m sure will be thrown around about this book in reviews include “brave” and “doesn’t pull punches” and things like that.

I’ve got one thing I can say, which is amazing how much more there is to a story than what can fit in a stand-up set. So many stories in there have been in her two full stand-up hours I’ve heard from her, cut up into tiny pieces while the book fleshes them out and shows us how much bigger the picture is. Her book references Hannah Gadsby, as another autistic female comedian, and it has me thinking of the message in Nanette, how much gets left out when you fit a narrative into a stand-up routine. Obviously I knew this already, mainly because that’s just how life and stories work (you tell a story in two minutes, you leave a lot out), partly because I’ve read other comedians’ memoirs before and seen the extended versions of their stand-up stories. This one just hits particularly hard, as the the things that got left out of some of Fern Brady’s stories were closer than most to the things Hannah Gadsby’s talked about leaving out, in terms of realizing even her stand-up stories that seemed dark were lightened up for a comedy set. And of course even a memoir, including this one by Fern Brady, tells a longer story than a stand-up set but leaves out a million things. 

One other really specific thing, just because it’s literally the first time I’ve ever seen anyone else express this specific thing before, it’s cool to me that I’m not the only person who worked out I was gay as a teenager, and then said, “Oh, cool, that’s the explanation for what’s wrong.” After spending a whole life feeling like I was made of completely different material from everyone else at school, looking at the girls and feeling the massive disconnect of all the things they understood and I didn’t, sometimes trying to explain this to adults or to myself and it never made sense, and then having that thing that could say “Oh, I get it, it’s just because I’m gay and they’re not so that’s why it’s different.” And then getting a little older and realizing obviously lots of girls can be gay and still have friends in middle school, maybe when desperately looking for answers I should think about the autism diagnosis that I got at fourteen and for some reason spent ten years absolutely refusing to believe was real, and not being given any help for despite a list of recommendations by that doctor I hated being clearly laid out on a piece of paper I never even saw until I went through old files in my parents’ basement at age 30.

Okay that’s the only bit I wanted to pick up on in this post, just one paragraph of the Tumblr post equivalent of a BBC3 documentary where I cry at the 45-minute mark, I don’t need to write any more paragraphs of it than that. It’s a very very good book and people should read it - or better yet, listen to it, because Fern Brady reads it very well on the audiobook and I think that added something to it. Trigger warning for fucking everything, I guess, which doesn’t mean people shouldn’t read it, just that if you’re likely to be upset by any subjects Fern Brady talks about then go into this mentally prepared for it to be upsetting (I mean, if you can read or listen to that entire book and not feel upset by any of it, then I would like to know what type of stone you’re made of). But it’s worth it.

[sakurasangcl]

I posted 1,956 times in 2022

486 posts created (25%)

1,470 posts reblogged (75%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@zackaran

@happysmilebtr

@kepler-ki

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I tagged 973 of my posts in 2022

Only 50% of my posts had no tags (probably bc I made them idk besties)

#svt - 208 posts

#funny tag - 132 posts

#seventeen - 90 posts

#cute tag - 54 posts

#vern - 47 posts

#skz - 42 posts

#for later - 35 posts

#vernon - 30 posts

#sw - 28 posts

#ateez - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i cant tell who it is bc zooming in gets too blurry but kyungsoo sees the two looking like theyre about to make out and hes like not for me

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I will be going by raven now, so please interact if you see this!

12 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#4

Trying to come up with star wars + kpop names for dogs is harder than I was expecting

12 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#3

As an autistic person, I like seeing shows about autistics. Of course we will be stereotyped and often not portrayed by autistic actors, but I enjoy seeing main characters I can relate to. Especially female autistics.

I really enjoy knowing that famous people are interested in these shows too, because then they know people like me exist.

I would love to see a show, one day, about an autistic person like me. They could be female or non binary, but "normal" in the sense of I am verbal but I am not a genius.

16 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

#2

Someone made these and posted them to twt so I'm sharing the link to it here!! Obviously all credit goes to them!! I just think it's too cute not to share!

17 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐬

hi hi! it's julia deciding to spread some love again! I've been reading mainly just svt fics, and I reblog them on my fic rec blog @juliafangirls ! I wanted to spread more love and share them here too, so here I am! follow these lovely writers and don't forget to reblog and leave feedback on their wonderful works!

unfortunately i don't have fics for every member, so feel free to rec me some of anyone!

𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐥

pearl of my heart - ~700 fluffy by @neonun-au

like you love me - 570 smut by @peachybun-bun

your girlfriend - 2.2k smut by @venerex

hide-and-seek - 3.6k frenemies to lovers/brother's best friend and smut by @lovingyu04

𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐧

your girlfriend - 2.2k smut by @/venerex

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537 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[infernal-house-demon]

I have been writing nearly every day without fail. Since starting my current wip in February, I have written two instalments in what will be a four (or potentially five) book series. The word count of those two books is a little more than the whole hunger games trilogy combined.

People keep asking me how I am doing this. I truly don’t know. I think it’s a bunch of things converging together?

Tldr: emerge from years long burnout, be autistic with storytelling special interest, get medicated for your adhd, take care of yourself— oh, and actual writing advice like build a routine, engage critically with other media, don’t be your own worst critic until you reach the editing stage, write something you genuinely like, and you don’t have to have it figured out from the top. Writing is literally just making shit up and making more shit up to justify it. Now go write my beautiful darlings!

Writing regularly. Getting in the habit of doing it makes it easier to start every time. I’ve been lucky to have a lot of time on my hands recently so I’ve been able to get a lot accomplished.

Not giving a shit if it’s good. I don’t mean write garbage. You should still like and enjoy it. But don’t agonize over every detail. If you can’t think of how to describe something perfectly, do what you can and move on. Writing is for getting the ideas down. Editing is for polish. Make something you like but don’t pressure yourself to make it perfect. (If it makes you feel better, my editor pointed out I completely forgot to describe several of the main characters. Sometimes when you write a scene it’s just dialogue and vibes. You’ll fix it later.)

If you try to build out every detail of the world before you start, you’ll never start. Get place names and important details and customs down, then make shit up as you go along. Remember of course that you will then have to write within the confines of that shit, but don’t worry, you can always make changes! That’s the beauty of editing. (Editor me is so bad for the amount of work I give them, but that’s their job so 🤷🏻)

If you have a really clear idea of a scene, write it immediately! For the most part, I do like to write linearly, but if I have ideas for scenes or snippets of dialogue, I will write them all down right away. Then you’re not slogging through anything just to get to that scene you really want to write. This is especially helpful if you’re writing a series and the scene is very far away. Write it now.

Have a cutting room floor document! I can’t tell you how many times I had to cut things that didn't serve the plot in the moment only for them to fit perfectly into future instalments! It hurts to cut stuff you feel is really good, so keep it! You might use it later!

The rest of these are about to get very specific to me but they are what is genuinely part of what has helped

Take a big long break from your creative hobbies. After i graduated uni, i was thoroughly burnt out. I stopped painting, I didn't write often (only the occasional fic bc it was easier on my brain). I will say writing fanfic was a big help because it gave me an idea of the character dynamics, themes, and plot points I most enjoyed writing. Then I translated all of that into my current wip. But the point of this is not to push yourself if you feel burnt out. Take what opportunities you can to rest and leave your hobbies behind for a while if that's what you need. They will be there waiting for you. I spent a solid year and a half doing almost nothing. Most of my creative energy went into digital art, and even then i wasn't creating frequently. It's okay. You need the rest.

Get medicated for adhd. Obviously this is very me-specific but I realized I had undiagnosed adhd. I had actually been given meds to try in the past but the side effects were too strong. Finally, i went back to my doctor and he helped me figure out a new one to try plus dosage and all that (I know I'm lucky that i have a good doc). The one I'm on now gives me minimal side effects and really helps my motivation and energy.

Take care of your body first. Before I could emerge from burnout and get my super creativity boost I put in a lot of work on my health. I have chronic pain, so learning what helped and what didn't has been really important. Things like fixing my sleep schedule, making sure to eat regularly, listening to my body's needs were all things I had to do before I could get into a space where I felt up to creating. (I am still working on this one. It isn't easy and I am in pain every day. Sometimes that means no writing and that's fine. Wellbeing comes first.)

Be autistic and have storytelling be your special interest. Idk what to tell you about this one. I am autistic and I have always been fascinated by creating stories, why we tell stories, the stories that have lasting impact in our lives, etc. I did my undergrad in English and my upcoming masters program is in Anthropology where i plan to write my thesis on mythology. So, uh, get yourself an autistic special interest and let it fuel your writing.

Okay that was gonna be the last one but I just remembered a really important one. CONSUME OTHER MEDIA! A lot of people will tell you to read in order to write better, and that's 100% true. But like I said, I was in burnout after I graduated, and having read so much in my English degree, I did not want to look at another book ever again. I read maybe like 3 books in the last two years (it was the Lord of the Rings Trilogy which I have already read and I was in lotr hyperfixation mode). But engaging critically with any media will help you improve your own skills. Read a book, read some poetry, watch a show your friend recommended, listen to a podcast on a topic that interests you, listen to an audiobook, whatever! Then think about it and ask yourself what works and what doesn't. Then ask yourself why it does or doesn't work. Is it just a matter of preference? Or is it the word choice, the rhythm of the punctuation, the structure, the character arcs and voices. I have read a lot of poetry in the last couple years bc it tends to be shorter and gives my brain that quick hit my adhd loves. And I promise you it not only made me a better poet, but also helped my description in prose.

Anyway, that's all I can think of for now. I'd love to do another post about my inspirations/recommendations of media. But I'll do that later. I hope this is vaguely helpful to anyone, and if not, oh well! I had fun coming up with it.

[tobias-fell]

hi Nico! I had a realization/observation about autism in media, and I wanted to see if you had noticed the same thing / agreed with my theory.

So, I was thinking about how I rarely see women with autism in media. Obviously it's super under-diagnosed in women / afab people in general, and that is obvious in the representation. But not only are most autistic characters I see male, I also see more nb autistic characters than cis women autistic characters.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that lots of autistic people have a complicated relationship with their gender. (Most of the autistic people I know personally are nb/gq/gnc, and there's literally the word "autigender" for a reason.)

I can only think of two autistic female characters, from The Gilded Wolves (which I read at your recommendation, btw! thank you for that!!) and from A Long Way Gone (which I highly recommend). Meanwhile, I've seen about a dozen books advertised or recommended as having nonbinary autistic protagonists.

Of course there's no such thing as "too much" representation, but I do want to see more representation for women with autism, as an autistic cis woman myself.

Have you noticed the same thing? Or am I just really bad at finding books about autistic characters? Do you know of any other books with good autistic rep? (esp. women with autism)

Thanks for answering!! <3

i haven't noticed this, but any observation i have abt autism in media is going to be largely impacted by the fact it's really, really hard for me to find... autism.... in media....

as an autistic autigender bigender person, personally i struggle to find any nonbinary autistic characters who aren't nonhumans as well (like robots/aliens), so my question is more "can you please show me the nonbinary autistics i want the nonbinary autistics". for me, cis male autistic characters are most prevalent, then cis female, then any sort of trans (binary or nonbinary). this may just be an issue of us both being in the wrong spaces and missing some of the few pieces of rep out there. regardless, it's an interesting phenomenon.

i can't think of more autism recs off the top of my head, but i'll probably reblog this later with a list (chronic illness is being fucky so it also hurts to type very long :/).

[venusianelf]

The Living Weighted Blanket

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Autistic! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Only One Bed Trope

Summary: You’ve had a crush on Spencer for the longest time but have managed to keep it fairly hidden. What happens when you have to room with him for the night? Cuddles and fluff, that’s what!

Warnings: Reader isn’t written with any gender in mind, mentions of anxiety, some coercion of Penelope making the reader tell her who they has a crush on, reader is shy and a little awkward, some embarrassment when the team finds out, some swearing, a few uses of Y/n

Word Count: ~1,700

A/N: Spencer and the reader are established friends. I’m on season 6 so this is that version of the team. I tried to write more of the team into this one since the first one didn’t mention most of them. So I hope it’s fairly accurate to their characters. I’m also not super used to writing for Spencer either so hopefully it’s alright. I have no idea how I wrote another 1,000+ word fic but hell yea! Also, not my gif but I found it off Pinterest so :/

You had been working at the BAU for a year now and had a major crush on one Spencer Reid. The problem is there was no way in hell you were ever going to tell him. While you hated lying (and were pretty bad at it), you had to try your best because you couldn’t under any circumstances embarrass yourself. Although because the team knew of your autism and social anxiety it made it a little easier to hide. Avoiding eye contact? You were overwhelmed today. Blushing when he brought you coffee? You were shy anyways.

It worked out pretty well until it didn’t. That would be the day that your best friend Penny caught you daydreaming once again. “So sugar, what’s got you in wonderland today?” She smirked as you got pulled out of your thoughts. “Huh? Oh, nothing Pen.” “C’mon I know you better than that. You were obviously thinking about something. Ooh! Wait, lemme guess, were you daydreaming about Mister three PHDs? You two have been getting closer recently.” “What?! No, he’s just a friend!” You shrieked as you started picking at your nails. “Oh. My. God. You like him!” She squealed as she danced around her room. “Penny, I swear if you say anything to anyone on the team I will steal your glasses and hide them where you’ll never find them.” “Geez, that's harsh Y/n, but I promise these lips are sealed.” She said, motioning a zipper across her mouth. “Although I make no promise not to tell Kevin.” She giggled. “Fine but only him, if you tell Morgan or anyone else on our team your glasses will be gone.” I sighed, hoping she would be able to contain her excitement for new gossip.  “You got it, babe. Now tell me everything about your little crush.” She smiled as she sat back down next to me. 

Today we had a case in a small town in Oklahoma, which unfortunately meant social interaction with those outside of the team. Once we landed Hotch immediately sent Spencer and me to the station to set up shop. When we got there I realized we wouldn’t have our own office. I unconsciously started scratching myself at this realization. To which Spencer picked up quickly, “Hey, it’s going to be alright. You brought your ear defenders right?” He asked in a soft comforting tone. “I- Yeah, I brought them. I just don’t like being around all these people.” I replied as I tried to switch to rocking instead of scratching. “I know but it’ll be better tonight when we can have our own rooms at the hotel.” He said, calming my worries. 

As we settled in I got a few odd stares from my odd behavior but I did my best to ignore it. Spencer started on his geographical profiling and I started on going through the letters left by the unsub. Over a few hours, the team slowly tricked into the station with Hotch arriving last. “Guys, I have some bad news. They only had four open rooms at the hotel, so we’ll be two to a room.” Everyone groaned at Hotch’s proclamation but internally I started freaking out about who I would even room with. The girls were nice of course but other than Penelope I wasn’t close to them. “Hey, Y/n I can tell you’re panicking. If it helps you can room with me and I’ll take the couch.” Spencer said drawing me out of my worries. “Uhm, yeah that would help. Thank you, Spence.” “No Problem.” He replied, smiling warmly at me.

While I was somewhat flustered at the idea of sharing the room with my crush, it was still better than the anxiety of sharing with someone I wasn’t close to. As we got to our room Spencer went first to clean in the bathroom as I unpacked my things. I got out my book and headphones while I waited for him to finish. “What’re you reading?” He asked as he got out of the bathroom. “Hm? Oh, it’s American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Sorry, I didn’t hear you get out of the shower.” I replied, taking off my headphones and marking my place. “Well I would think with headphones on that it would be hard to hear that. Anyways, what’s it about?” He asked knowing that asking me about my interests helped me unwind. “Oh! It’s about this guy who gets out of prison early after his wife dies and then starts working for a mysterious guy who insists he’s a god. It’s kind of dark but it’s really good!” I rambled excitedly. “Hm, I don’t read fiction very much but if you say it’s good then I’ll have to check it out sometime.” He said as he started unpacking his things. “If you want you can borrow my copy when I’m done.” You offered as you started gathering your things to take a shower and get ready for bed. “I’ll take you up on that.” He smiled as he got comfy on the couch.

Once I was done with my shower and headed back out I noticed that Spencer seemed to be quite cramped as he tried to relax on the couch. I contemplated offering to share the bed with him before I decided fuck it, what’s the worst that could happen. “Hey Spence, if you’re uncomfortable on the couch you’re welcome to share the bed with me,” I said sheepishly as I put away my clothes from earlier today. “Are you sure? I know you aren’t too fond of people being too close.” He asked as he sat up. “Yeah, I’m sure. I don’t mind being close to you since we’re good friends.” I replied, getting in bed and patting the empty place next to me. “Alright, but let me know if you get uncomfortable.” He conceded as he climbed into bed next to me. 

After continuing to read for about an hour Spencer and I decided it was time to get some shut-eye. “Spence?” “Yeah Y/n?” “Um, could we cuddle if you’re okay with it? I always leave my weighted blanket at home since it’s so heavy but it makes me sleep worse without it.” I asked timidly. “Haha, yeah I’m okay being your weighted blanket.” He laughed as he put his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him. “You’re not just my weighted blanket.” I pouted. “Okay well, either way, I’m good with cuddling you if it means it’ll help you sleep.” He laughed as I could feel the reverberations in my body. It was oddly comforting. “Thank you,” I said softly before I shut my eyes. “Not a problem,” I vaguely heard him say as I felt him press a soft kiss to my head before I fell asleep.

When I woke the next morning I was surprised to find Spencer still asleep. Turning around in his grasp I mentally traced the features of his face. He looked so peaceful while he was asleep. Although slowly I felt him wake from my movements. As his eyes flickered open I hid my face in his chest. “Good morning,” He said as he brought his arm from my waist to my back as he drew circles. “Good morning,” I responded. “Is there a reason you’re hiding?” He asked, clearly amused. “Um, no reason.” I squeaked out as I hid further. He laughed as he moved his hand under my chin and pointed my face up towards his. “Hi,” I said shyly as I focused my gaze on his hair. “Hi there,” he responded, smiling playfully. He moved a strand of my hair behind my ear as he mapped my features.  “Y/n, I like you.” He breathed out, gazing into your eyes. Your eyes widened as you took in what he said. “I- Um, I like you too Spence.” You responded in kind as you went to hide in his shirt again. “Uh-uh, come back here,” He laughed as he cupped your cheek. “May I kiss you?” He asked as you shyly nodded. 

You felt his hot breath ghost over your lips before you felt the impact. His lips were way softer than you imagined they would be. The kiss was gentle and loving as if he was trying to convey his feelings to you through touch rather than words. As you two separated you hid back in his shirt. “Back into hiding, are you?” He laughed. “Mhm,” you nodded. “Alright well, pumpkin we need to get up now. I’d love to take you on a real date when we finish this case though.” He said running his fingers through your hair. “I’d love that,” You responded as he helped you out of bed.

When you met back up with the team for breakfast, you and Spencer were holding hands. “I told you! Oh my god, I need to call Penny!” Morgan laughed as he pulled out his phone. “Knock it off Derek, you’re gonna embarrass them,” Emily laughed as she turned to smile apologetically at you. “What? What are you guys talking about?” Spencer asked as you blushed and tried to distract yourself with your phone. “We all knew you two liked each other, and we had a bet going on whether or not sharing a room would force a confession. Plus we’re profilers, what did you expect?” Derek laughed as he got handed ten bucks from Rossi and five bucks from Emily. “That and Pen may have told us about your little secret,” JJ added apologetically, smiling at you. “I swear to the gods! I told her if she told anyone I’d hide her glasses!!” You shrieked as the crowd laughed. “Well that’s gonna be a sight to see,” Morgan laughed. “Either way, good for you kids,” Rossi smiled as he went back to his newspaper. “Agreed, just keep it professional when we need you two to be,” Hotch added, smiling at you two. “Of course,” You responded. As you looked over at Spencer he seemed to be more flustered by the situation than you were. You squeezed his hand and smiled as heartwarmingly as you could when he looked over to provide some semblance of comfort to his embarrassment.