#and the reward is just a new jump shot or whatever

[colorisbyshe]

LeBron James' athlete, young son had a heart attack yesterday and it really just illuminated how fatphobia doesn't just hurt fat people.

Like, a lot people were blaming the vaccine because... why else would a fit teenager have a heart attack? To be clear--I know a lot of these people would be blaming the vaccine even if he was hospitalized because, idk, he went skydiving and his parachute didn't deploy. They'd blame the vaccine if he lit himself on fire. I know that.

But a lot of people who //wouldn't// blame the vaccine were also baffled and looking for explanations as to why an athlete so young could have a heart attack.

What people don't understand is a lot of "wellness" and "fitness" culture is fucking kill yourself. The pursuit of thinness, athletic ability, and obvious muscle tone is dangerous and can be lethal. A lot of it involves starving yourself, dehydrating yourself, and then pushing your body past its limit. People try to min-max their physical form and end up destroying it.

And I know this isn't specifically about fatness but I think there's a massive issue where people see someone with some flab on their stomach and feel comfortable saying "Oh, you're gonna die young, put down the cheeseburgers" as if a. having fat on your body is a consequence of bad choices and isn't just... some people's natural state and b. making a 'bad choice' (that would harm literally no one else) makes it okay to predict and mock someone's death.

But we cheer on young people, often EXTREMELY young people (a lot of sports have people peaking as teenagers, in their early or mid 20s) working themselves to death, permanent injury, or brain damage. And we can sometimes recognize that's happening--a celebrity with a too prominent rib cage or too hollow a face--but when muscle is involved, we assume that's a sign of good health.

When most muscle that prominent is a sign of extreme dehydration, extremely taxing diets where people starve all day and then have three course dinners, and likely dysmorphia and disordered thinking and/or eating.

A lot of sports--and not just the full contact sports that we associate with injury like football or wrestling--are extremely dangerous. But people would rather demonize fat people for just existing, not even knowing what choices did OR DID NOT come into play, than like... investigate why we need young people pushing themselves so fucking hard to throw and catch a ball.

To be clear, this is me both saying leave fat people alone AND hey... maybe we need more protections for athletes. This is me saying the same culture that is used to punish fat people is killing non-fat people as well (or at least putting them on the brink of death).

We need to change our understanding of wellness and fitness. Both in the sense that we need to stop demonizing people for being "unwell" or "unfit" (whatever the fuck that might mean) but also to stop promoting actually unhealthy things to reach the VENEER of wellness and fitness. A lot of people into fitness and wellness are at infinitely higher risk for health problems than fat people and are often actively encouraged to continue this dangerous behaviour.

Athletes who can dribble a ball real well but are having heart attacks at 18 are not well. They are deeply unwell. And we need to pull back, as a culture, on using them for entertainment if this is the cost.

[letsgetrowdy43]

All you gotta do is ask—

Jack Hughes x reader

Request: Maybe something about jack’s best friend going to a game and is wearing someone else’s jersey and he gets jealous. Like he likes the reader but hasn’t said so. Reader likes him and doesn’t know he feels the same until they’re out after the game and he says something along the lines of “my girl shouldn’t have someone else’s name on her back. It’s wrong” and maybe cute fluffy ending because this girl is hormonal and needs the emotional rollercoaster

Jack's eyes caught hers from the bench, Ellen to her right chatting about Luke's rookie year, as she smiled fondly at him, giving him a little wave before his attention was pulled back towards the game.

"He adores you," Ellen smiled as the young girl turned to her with reddened cheeks. "What?" "Jack," she nodded towards her son on the ice, the two of them watching as he took a shot and the puck flew straight into the back of the net, both his mother and his best friend shot onto their feet, screaming with their hands in the air.

He faced the crowd with a grin, tongue stuck out of his mouth and he yelled out of excitement, sending a wink in the direction of his best friend as she blushed at the action, "he loves you," Ellen continued as the crowd calmed down, the devil's goal song still playing loudly as the girl swallowed thickly. "I love him too," she said with a soft smile, "he's my best friend," Ellen gave her a knowing look before they went back to watching the game.

The game ended with a Devils win, the first one in their string of home games before the All-Star break.

Ellen, Jim, and the young girl sat in the family room just outside of the locker room, a smile on her face as baby Haula ran over to her as she chatted with Kristen. She was pulled out of their conversation as the door opened to reveal Luke followed by a grinning Jack who maneuvered his way around the room to get to her while Luke went to their parents.

"You played so good," she grinned as he pulled her in for a hug, "my superstar," she whispered as he laughed at the nickname. "I scored for you," he mumbled into her shoulder, before looking down her back to see a larger 43 on her back, he pulled away tensely, a look of confusion on his face as her face filled with worry.

"You're wearing a Luke jersey?" he gasped. "Yeah, he gave it to me before the game, your jersey is in my car," she grinned, but his smile did not return. "I scored for you and this is how you repay me," he whispered, tone whiney as she rolled her eyes at his antics.

"I'm being serious, this feels so wrong, my girl should not be wearing my brother's jersey," her brows furrowed as her eyes caught his. "Your girl?" "Don't kid yourself, you've been mine since we were in middle school," he said smugly as her face grew a new shade of red. "You can't just deem me 'you girl' J," she said with a grin, her arms wrapping around his neck, "you gotta ask me first," her tone was taunting as he leaned in to kiss her but she dodged him and stared at him with raised brows

"You gotta ask," she fumbled, fingers playing with his damp curls. "You've always been mine Y/n/n," she shook her head, loving the mental hoops she was making him jump through as she smiled menacingly. "just ask J, it's all you gotta do, or you could beg, whatever floats your boat," her grin grew as he rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said batting his lashes as she giggled at the theatrics of it all, "Would you do me the honours of being my girlfriend?" he asked so kindly which rewarded him with a slow kiss to the lips instead of an answer, the action telling enough that it was an obvious yes.

a groan sounded from behind them as Luke, Dawson, and John grimaced at the sight in front of them. "Kissing my brother in my jersey, yucky," Luke said which gained a nice strong elbow to his ribs from his father who just smiled proudly at the couple.

"Trust me, she's taking it off," the entire family room groaned in disgust as she hid her face in his chest in embarrassment, "I didn't mean it that way guys, don't be gross!" which gained a laugh from the room as he stood them with wide eyes and rosy cheeks.

-

-

-

[heyyallitsbeth]

Kirito's Quest Reward

In Alfheim Online, a small party of friends were taking on a boss monster. The giant salamander itself wasn’t particularly threatening, even with it’s attacks leaving multiple debuff effects, but the party enjoyed taking on large bosses together, and definitely enjoyed the payouts from selling the rare Fang Daggers these beasts drop.

“Remember, the one to finish it gets whatever it drops!” teased Leafa, who had been dealing most of the heavy hits this rotation. She knew they always shared rewards anyway, unless there was only one unique item per quest. However noticing her health had decreased due to the monster’s poison, she was prepping to take defensive. “Now switch!”

In a swift movement the girl and her attacking duo Klein had fallen back to the defensive and support lines, and two new attackers came in, the romantic crossed sword duo of Kirito and Asuna. Between them 3 swords cut deep and heavily into the salamander’s HP. Flurries of shortsword stabs and rapier pierces were landed before the rest of the team had assumed their new positions. Leafa began supporting her teammates with spell buffs alongside the cait sith monster tamer Silica, and Klein took a defensive stance beside the mace wielding blacksmith Lisbeth, preparing to run in to assist the mainline attackers. As the HP of the beast faded lower and lower, a rain of arrows shot down from above as the cait sith archer Sinon unleashed battalions worth of arrows. Not to be outdone, the blackswordsman Kirito rushed in unleashing a devastating combo to the creature, taking it’s final health points down to zero.

“Hmmph, all that effort in the last moments and you still go and killsteal.” Sinon sighed and huffed jokingly.

“Heh relax Sinon, we’re all sharin’ in the rewards nomatter what” Kirito replied, smirking.

As the monster turned to glittery dust a gift box fell from it’s place and landed square on the battlefield.

“Ah crap.” Lisbeth complained “That special drop events still goin’ on. All that work and we still might get a freakin’ steel dagger out of it.”

“Shoot! And I just barely made enough yuld off of it to buy back the potions we used.” Klein huffed.

“Hey we still have a chance for it to be good, even if we haven’t had much luck with it” optimistically chimed in Silica.

“Well, in that case if nobody wants it, I’ll be the one stuck with it I guess” Kirito said, striding over to it. “I was the one who took it down after all~” He playfully taunted to the other partymembers. 

He tapped on the box to open it and reveal it’s contents, fully expecting something mediocre.

“Hmm?”

A dialogue box appeared in front of him “1x Classic Maid Outfit added to inventory”

He closed the dialogue box before anyone else could catch up and see what it was.

“So whatcha get?” Asuna inquired looking right over his shoulder.

Kirito jumped from the sudden break in silence, hoping she hadn’t seen the box’s contents. His face flushed red and he flailed his arms. “N-NOTHING- NOTHING AT ALL HAHA-”

Real smooth there Kazuto. He thought to himself. You know how your friends are. That’s just inviting problems.

“Ooooooo~ somebody got something special~” cooed Lisbeth, now nearly hovering over the poor boy.

“So what rare item did you steal from me hm Kirito?” Sinon peered down.

“Heh- no. Th-there wasn’t even anything in it. Guess we got screwed by it haha-”

Next quest: Get better at lying. 

“Oh nuh uh, you aint keepin whatever it is for yourself, if it’s worth a buncha yuld then we’re splittin it okay Kirito?” Klein tossed out.

Kirito wanted to clear his inventory, he would sooner lose Excalibur than reveal what he had received.

“Hey Yui, if Kirito isn’t gonna tell us, could you check his inventory for us?” Silica spoke between small giggles.

“Yui please don’t-”

But it was too late. The small navigation pixie had already opened up a tab to review Kirito’s items.

“Hmmm let’s see. Ah it seems Daddy received an event item from one of Alfheim’s prior Valentine’s Day Events”

Valentine’s Day Item? Well that’s not gonna arouse any suspicion at ALL. Kirito grumbled to himself, his face so red he was matching the color of the holiday itself.

“Spill the beans Yui, whats it worth?” Klein inquired.

“Hehehe~ I just wanna know what it is that’s gotten Kiri so embarrassed~” teased Lisbeth. “Is it some toy you’re gonna share with Asuna later?~”

“AAAA Nononononono it’s nothing like that-” Kirito stammered out.

“No it’s not a toy- it appears the item itself is a clothing item labeled ‘Classic Maid Outfit’” Yui innocently stated.

The group went silent as Kirito’s face went from a flush red to a stark white pale. Then they all started laughing. Lis and Sinon were all but banging the ground laughing at the mortified boy. It took countless agonizing seconds until anyone spoke.

“S-*snkr* So you gonna model it for us Kiri-Chan?~” Lisbeth managed out between snickers. 

“Yeah it’s all yours oneesan~” Leafa joked out.

Sinon who had previously been laughing the hardest now had a more neutral but smug look on her face “Jeez if you wanna see him girly so bad you should join us in GGO sometime.”

GGO… Kirito thought. Yeah that model was quite something. I swear that there was something special in my eyes there. They just seemed brighter…

Kirito slapped his cheeks out of that thought.

“I’m not making it out of here without putting it on am I?” he sheepishly responded. 

“Honey you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I can’t say I wouldn’t mind seeing-” Asuna trailed off, imagining Kirito’s toned physique in a maid outfit.

Add that to the online shopping list later. She thought, her mind filled with devious thoughts.

“You’re just scared you’ll like it-” Klein teased before getting one of Kirito’s boots directly to the jaw.

“F-fine. Just- Everyone turn around. If anyone peeks as I change I’m deleting this account!” Kirito stammered out.

The giggles of the group grew louder as they turned away. His fingers fumbled with the prompts to switch outfits, as if the outfit itself was attacking.

You’re just scared you’ll like it.

The words echoed in Kirito’s mind as he hit confirm. 

He got a good look at his reflection in the mirror view of the UI.

I look like one of those freakin’ anime twin maids Klein loves. Wait… Nononono- I look like Sugu…

Kirito wasn’t wrong, if it werent for his modest chest, he’d easily be mistaken as his sister. But like this, he looked like his sibling’s little sister more than her big brother. His face was soft. His hair had updated along with the clothing, now appearing more similar to his GGO avatar, with the only substantially shorter in the back. In addition to the dress, he had been gifted with a cute little hat and was adorned in ribbons and stockings. The outfit was a dark lavender, with the ribbons appearing a slightly brighter purple. The purple really brought out the color in his dark grey eyes.

“Everything okay Kirito?” Squeaked Silica. “I know we were teasing but if you’re uncomfortable you don’t havta show us…”

Why is she the only one with any decency here? He took one last look at himself in the mirror. Those lights are back in my eyes… He pushed down that thought and sighed.

“You can look now…”

He closed his eyes and braced for the worst. He expected laughter and mockery. What he got was… Silence? Silence for far far too long.

“Guys is everything okay?”

He opened his eyes and noticed everyone was just staring at him, shocked but… not giggly or amused… Almost confused? With the exception of Klein, who was frozen in place, and slowly tipped over before logging out.

“Jeez tough crowd” Kirito joked, trying to make the situation more bearable for himself.

He noticed as the slight breeze blew past, the skirt picked up a bit and waved effortlessly in the wind. Without thinking, he spun around, watching as his skirt effortlessly spun with him. He giggled.

Hmm. Not so bad… EH? What am I thinking I need to get this off-

“K-kirito?” Asuna quietly broke the silence.

“Yes ma’am” Kirito almost chirped out. 

He was happy to see he was now taking it better than anyone else. And then the whole group pounced on him, tackling him to the ground with a hug.

“You’re so cuteeeeeeeeeee!” they all echoed.

Even Sinon, the most modest one seemed utterly infatuated.

“Jeez Sinon, you’ve seen me worse than this- And Sugu you’ve DEFINITELY seen me worse than this-” Kirito thought of playing dress up with her as a kid, but a memory that should’ve made him shudder now brought him a surprising warmth.

That’s not good. He thought to himself. Yeah I’m gonna have to do some serious thinking about this. Or better yet I should simply never think of this again.

“Okay funs over now” Kirito exclaimed, tired of being at the bottom of a pile of bosoms. “This has been exhausting and I wanna go to bed now.”

That night Kirito dreamt of his wedding in Aincrad with Asuna, only now he looked like his GGO Avatar.

…

…

…

Kirito woke up early the next morning and his heart ached. He sent a good morning text to Asuna, despite knowing she’d probably be sleeping in still. He paused before he knocked on his sister’s door to wake her up, and chose not to, just sending her a quick “running out for groceries, be back soon.” text before he got on his bike and left.

Maybe a little ride can clear my head.

Kirito cruised down nearly empty streets, trying to think of anything other than his dream and yesterday. He hadn’t lied about the groceries, he just walked through the supermarket picking up a few essentials for him and Suguha for the week, passing through on his way to checkout when a glimmer caught his eye. He had wound up in the women’s clothing department, and beside him standing tall was a mannequin wearing a basic black skirt. It was nothing special, it was cheap, it was just a department store clothing brand. He looked at his reflection in the black screen of his phone, seeing sparkles in his eyes. He sighed, knowing he was about to make a mistake and placed it in his basket and checked out. He rode home from the shops with his mind racing. 

Why did I do that? I’m such an idiot. What the hell am I doing? What would Sugu say? What will Asuna say? I- I just need to try this once. I’m just gonna go home, try it on, nothing will happen and I’ll burn the damn thing.

Kirito tried to enter the home as quietly as possible, dropping the groceries on the table and tip toeing to his room with the bag with the skirt in it. He closed the door behind him, but in his anxiousness to try on the skirt, he neglected to lock it. He slid out of his black sweatpants, staring at his body in the mirror. His figure was slender, almost effeminate in nature. Years without hardcore exercise and barely eating while in SAO clearly took it’s toll on a previously toned figure.

Maybe I do look like Sugu…

Back when they were little, Suguha and Kazuto were always mistaken for twin girls, despite Kazuto being older and not even Suguha’s blood sibling. He never minded back then, he just liked being close to her. They’d occasionally swap clothes to mess with their parents. Kazuto softly smiled at the thought. He slipped on the skirt. She slipped on the skirt.

His eyes met hers in the mirror. Where a dull grey void once sat, a galaxy of stars was now present, with shimmering highlights and purple hues never noticed until now. There was a subtle curvature to her hips. A natural softness to her face. Her slender physique made him jealous. He stared at the girl who looked back at him, she shyly smiled and as the words left her mouth, they followed in his. “So, this is me?”

She looked down, and the girl was him. The girl was her.

She nervously laughed and shook in place. She watched as her skirt flowed side to side with every subtle movement. She spun herself around, watching the skirt flare up. She giggled to herself. She spun herself again. And again and again. She was giggling to herself like crazy. There were no thoughts left in her head, it was just a pure moment of bliss. And it came crushing down as the door opened behind her.

“Yawnnnnnnn~ Kazutooooooo please could you make a little less noi-” Sugu entered the room with her eyes closed yawning, but her eyes quickly shot open as she saw what was once her big brother in a tiny black skirt.

“S-Sugu??? EH! Don’t Look! I’m not decent!” She blurted out, not realizing she was pitching her voice higher than normal. She scrambled behind her bed, trying to cover up her shame, hiding her blushing face behind her hands.

Suguha smiled softly and walked over beside her as she softly pet her sister’s head.

“Well, it seems like I’ve stumbled into something big huh? Listen Kazuto. Or… whatever you may wanna be called. I’m always gonna support and love my big sibling, nomatter who they are.” She kissed the timid girl’s forehead. “I’m gonna go make us breakfast okay. You can wear that if you wanna. It’s just us home today. You don’t have to worry. You don’t have to tell anyone else if you aren’t ready. You don’t even have to tell me if you’re not ready. But I’m here for you.”

She walked out the door, and Kazuto sighed, knowing she meant every word of that.

…

…

…

Kazuto followed not long after, choosing to wear the skirt downstairs to the kitchen. She was blushing the whole time, still unable to meet her sister’s eyes. She slid a stack of pancakes over to her.

“Here big sis, I made your favorite.” She smiled sweetly down at Kazuto.

“...I like that.”

“Hmm?”

“I think… I think I prefer being your big sister.”

Suguha smiled brightly.

“Yayyyyyy! Now we get to do fun girly stuff together! This is so exciting!- Oh and of course, thank you for trusting me enough with this sis. It means a lot.” Suguha felt a warmth she had never felt, and she felt like it was due to the beaming smile on her big sister’s face.

“So, what are you thinkin’ for a name?”

…

…

…

A few days pass and nobody outside the Kirigaya household hears from Kazuto. He seemingly vanished from the ALO party, and only returned a few texts with “Sorry I’m just busy, miss you too” or “I love you too Asuna”. Truthfully, Kazuto had been training up a new ALO avatar with her sister, creating a swordfighting cait sith, with a name she chose for herself, Kiriko.

“Hey I’m gonna head out and make some lunch for us okay Kiriko? Don’t go far, and I’ll meet you in town.” “Sounds good Leafa, thank you!”

While Sugu’s cooking wasn’t the masterpiece Asuna’s was, Kiriko was always happy to indulge in some of Sugu’s fine craftsmanship as well. Leafa signed out, and her model disappeared. And Kiriko was alone.

She strolled through the town, wondering what to do in the meantime.

“I could really use some sword upgrades…” She muttered to herself, knowing that the only blacksmith worth caring about was Lisbeth, and she didn’t know who Kiriko was yet. 

“Ah well I can help you with that one!” A familiar voice made Kiriko jump, her ears and tail standing on end. “Heh, didn’t mean to scare ya, I’m Klein, and if you need some smithin’ done, I know just the girl for you.”

Kiriko did her best to pitch her voice up to not be recognized “N-nice to meet you Klein, but that’s okay- I- I think I might just wait until I get a better sword drop…”

“Nonsense, Liz is the best in the business, she can make a starter sword scale right alongside Excalibur” He laughed to himself. “What’s your name by the way?”

“K-Kiriko…” She embarrassedly managed out.

Great. I look like my little sister, and the name I chose is 1 letter off of my old handle. I am the smartest woman alive.

Luckily for Kiriko, Klein was the dumbest man alive, and did not question it at all, leading her to Lisbeth’s Smithy.

“Hey guys, I’m back, and I found a newbie who needs some sword help.” Klein announced to the full party.

Kiriko gulped. Everyone but Leafa was here. Asuna, Yui, Strea, Lisbeth, Silica, Sinon, Philia, Agil, even Argo.

With my luck, somehow Sachi is gonna walk through that door isn’t she…

“H-hi everyone, I’m Kiriko… Klein said that Lisbeth is a master blacksmith. At least I think he said ‘master blacksmith’ but all I really caught was ‘master b’-” She knew this was gonna be dreadful, so the least she could do was tease Klein before the whole thing fell apart.

“H-HEY! I said nothing like that- She is a master blacksmith though! She’s been working at it since Sword Art.”

“Yup yup! The best in the business!”

“It’s nice to see you again Liz, I haven’t had a chance to see you since SAO I suppose” Kiriko lied.

It’s not too farfetched to be another SAO survivor… Gives me some leeway if I mess up and say more than I should known…

“Ohmygosh sorry- I usually don’t forget my customers faces…” Liz pouted.

“Hey now, cheer up, consider us equal for me breaking your sword.”

Smooth one smoothbrain. Kiriko thought to herself.

“Eh?” Liz cocked her head. “I don’t think anyone but Kiri-”

“Y’know out in the field, I abused the poor sword, I should’ve taken better care of such expert craftsmanship” She smiled out the quickest excuse she could muster.

“Ahhhh I see. You just reminded me of my favorite customer hehe.” She took Kiriko’s sword from her and got to work on it. “Cute guy, but he’s dumb as rocks. Broke my best sword and made me go on an adventure to forge him a new one.”

“Sounds like a bit of a jerk to me.” Kiriko joked.

“Nah, he’s the sweetest guy, but he’s a little bit off.”

“Yeah, he helped me revive my Pina!” Silica butted in.

“And he saved me from the Hollow Area” Philia added.

“And he’s like, the sweetest husband ever” Asuna swooned.

“And he’s the best daddy ever!” Yui chimed in. 

“He’s helped me in more ways than I’d care to say” Sinon said blushing.

Kiriko herself was now blushing and trying to stifle a smile, hearing all these kind things from all of her friends.

“Jeez, put the boy on a pedestal some more will ya? You’re just begging for this girl to be competition in that polycule you’ve got brewin” Klein sighed “Course, ya cant help but love the guy, after all, he saved us all so many times.”

She felt at home for once, the moment was so warm and peaceful.

“Hmm, you even look a lot like Kii-boy” 

Crap.

Argo’s intuition was always top notch. She’d sniff out the fact that Kiriko was Kirito faster than anyone. She needed excuses and fast.

“Well, I’ve been told I do look boyish-” Kiriko idly fiddled with her skirt, kicking her feet a little.

“Nono- You don’t look boyish at all! Infact it’s more that Kirito looks girlish” Philia tried to console Kiriko.

“Yeah! He actually wore a dress recently and he was really cute!” Silica was practically meowing out the compliment.

“We’ve all been thinking, we haven’t seen him since he did it, we’re worried that maybe we teased him too much and now he got self conscious.” Sinon looked down shamefully.

Kiriko could barely manage to keep up her facade. 

Focus focus focus. Think of things to say to make this go away.

Kiriko chose to simply say the truth. “Well, I think if they were willing to put on the dress, maybe they were just finding an excuse to try it out. Maybe they ended up liking it and has been taking some time for themself to work some things out.”

The room went a bit quiet. All that could be heard was Agil talking to customers and Liz hammering away in the background, but both were clearly listening in intently.

“Whatcha mean?” Silica asked.

“W-well… There’s this thing I’ve been reading about on some MMO forums. Apparently some guys will dress up with female avatars as a joke, and then realize something, that maybe they were girls all along. Maybe your friend is doing that?”

Kiriko was stuttering out almost every word. There’s no way they wouldn’t catch on.

“Well, then I’d be the luckiest woman in the world to have the best wife in the world.” Asuna announced.

“Yeah, and I’d get to have the two best Mommies!” Yui said, with Strea nodding along with her.

“Nomatter what, they’re always our Kirito. We’ll always love them nomatter who they end up being.” Sinon added. 

“Yeah, and I can have my own big sister instead of a big brother” Silica giggled to herself.

“Well, she already has a little sister, you sure you can compete with that role?” Kiriko pet Silica’s head and then she realized what she just said.

“Wait… how do you know Kirito has a sister?”

“W-well I’ve been playing with a girl named Leafa whose been teaching me everything- and she keeps talking about her brother Kirito so I just assumed since you both brought up the name.”

Next quest: PLEASE GET BETTER AT LYING BRAIN Kiriko screamed at herself internally.

Argo mischievously laughed. “Yknow Kiriko, I have gotten some inside scoops that Leafa’s been playin alongside a new account and callin her ‘big sis’. Now aint that somethin Kiriko? Or rather Kii-gal?”

Crap. That’s Argo for ya. She knows me better than… well even me probably.

As the tension grew thick enough to cut with a knife, Leafa walked through the door to the Smithy, and Lisbeth returned to listen to the gossip more intently. 

Hopefully Sugu can tell I’m blinking an S.O.S. to her…

“Ah I see you’ve met my friend Kiriko! She’s really sweet right?”

Kiriko shifted in her seat.

“... Fine ya caught me. It’s me…” Kiriko mumbled out. 

No escaping this one chief.

Leafa glanced down a look of “are you sure Kiriko?” to which Kiriko could only nod.

“While you’re about to lose some polycule points for forcibly outing me Argo-” “Polycule points?” Lisbeth inquired.

If I can earn those I’m taking them- Liz thought to herself

“Yes it’s me. I… I just couldn’t stand being Kirito anymore.” The small catgirl looked to be near breaking point. “I.. I didn’t wanna lose any of you. I never had friends until now. And I was so so so worried I’d lose you all. I’d been keeping this down since GunGale. That avatar stuck in my head like a parasite. I couldn’t stop thinking about having long hair, and cute outfits, and twirly skirts, and- and after I tried on that stupid maid outfit, I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t be that same person I was anymore.”

She couldn’t stop the tears anymore. She just balled herself up on the couch. But then she felt a warm soft embrace around her. And another, and another, and another.

“Kiriko, I’m so proud of you. And trust me, you’re still the person I fell in love with in Aincrad. I’m not gonna leave you because you found out more about yourself. That’s just more of you I get to love. I get to fall in love all over again with a wonderful wife.” Asuna held Kiriko tight, and rubbed her cheek against the girl.

A hand was placed on Kiriko’s shoulder. “Heh, you’re so used to playin with chicks that you became one yourself, good for you.” Klein smiled every word out. He may not have been the best with words, but Kiriko appreciated the meaning behind each one.

“We’re all gonna love you nomatter what Kiriko…” Silica was gripping onto her even tighter than Asuna.

Yui and Strea held onto Kiriko for dear life, trying to make their new mommy happy.

“Yeah, you’re our favorite gal to tease, and now we can tease you even harder and in new ways!” Lisbeth smirked devilishly before hugging Kiriko with one arm and poking her cheeks with her free hand.

Kiriko felt another hand on her other shoulder, and looked up to see Agil.

“I’m proud of you for finding out who you are. I’m blessed to have met ya.”

Kiriko’s tears turned from fear and sadness to joy and love.

Sinon came walking up to where Kiriko was sat and hugged her from the front then pet her head. “Truthfully, I thought you were trans the moment you said you were actually a guy in that avatar in GGO. Every time we fought there I saw that light in your eyes you’ve got now. I’m so proud of you.” She kissed the girl’s forehead. “And now we can confirm that two GGO Winners are girls too” she smirked.

“Hehe, sorry for gettin ya to come out if you werent ready” Argo tossled Kiriko’s hair. “But ya know I’m just like ya too! I just wanted ya to rip that bandaid off hehe. Makes it better in the long term.” Kiriko could only smile at the rat in front of her.

“And can I please have my polycule points back”

“T-there’s no such thing Argo. And if there were I wouldn’t take them from my favorite rat…”

“Hey I know we already talked Kiriko” Leafa held onto Kiriko’s hand “but I’m so proud of you and I’m so happy to have a big sister.”

All Kiriko could do was smile, she was finally herself, and surrounded by all of the people she held dear. 

And in the back of her head, she heard the faint singing of familiar christmas music, and relaxed.

Heh. I guess even Sachi was here afterall.

“I love you all. Thank you so much. All of you.”

[gengarlive]

safekeeping

a/n: maybe one shot, maybe a new dark au who knows :):) summary: it’s bloody and raw, but i swear it is sweet content: valkyrie x reader | noncon cw | pussy eating, reader has NO physical description! you are straight up called a dog and forced to eat her pussy! 

“Prove your worth to me, and maybe I’ll keep you around.” The Valkyrie sneered as she held your chin in her hands, barely a scratch on her or her guards while your people littered the hall. “Do you understand me, mutt?”

Rage and exhaustion made the hair on your arms prickle, holding their stare as you spit on her face. 

A desperate final act of rebellion.

She didn’t flinch or bother to wipe the saliva from her cheek, keeping a steady hand despite the twinge of annoyance in her voice. “Look at you, trying to get a rise out of me already, mutt, but trust me, I’ll break you in far before that happens.”

All you can do is contemplate your options - wrists bound and surrounded by the bitch and her guards - half hoping the exhaustion would take you and rob her of whatever sick game she wanted to play.

Valkyrie finally frees her hand so she can force you to your knees, snickering to herself at the control she has over you, as she allows others to speak.

“I say we just take them here, your liege, no point in being prudes about it, fuck them and make a show of their final moments in their precious little home -” A brute with an equally gruesome scar over his eye is the first to speak, eager to enjoy any sort of reward for a successful mission.

Quickly jumping in was a darker haired snake of a creature, “- might as well discard all the extra weight here and parade them around after, it’s not like they’ll need any of that antiquated equipment anymore.”

They continued to chime off their depraved ideas one after the other, obsessed with the idea of flaunting you around your home, and would have continued if not for her.

“No. Think, fools.” She sounded more annoyed corralling her own people than dealing with you. “Weak as they are, why would we allow ourselves to let our guards down? How pathetic would it be if you died and we had to share that it was because you were thinking with your cocks instead of your heads.”

A dejected silence overtook them and you had to bite back a smile at their idiocy - silently grateful that their sick wishes would not come to fruition.

“Make yourselves useful and cover me, half of you on guard, lest another dog decides to show up.” They act on her orders immediately, giving her just enough room to unbuckle her pants and stand above you, burying your nose in her bush as she took her time finding a comfortable hold on your head and grinding into your mouth - musk and sweat flooding your senses. “Nothing like a good submission and fight to get me nice and wet, don’t you agree?”

She stops for a second, pretending to wait for an answer before burying your mouth against her, not allowing any space for you to breathe comfortably. “Submit and show me you can listen if you want to breathe, mutt. Be a good pet.”

You hold off as long as you can, but being so desperate for air with her scent and taste inescapable muddled your judgment - you begin to do as she ordered, lapping at her greedily like a starving dog.

A low whine slipping past your lips as she finally pulled your head back to take in how you’ve fallen, chin wet with saliva and her juices, lungs desperately filling with air as you panted for her. 

“What did I tell you? Look at what a good pet you can be if you listen.” Valkyrie waits to see if you’ll register her words and try to fight back, but when she’s not met with any vitriol, she lets out a contented sigh and buries you between her legs again. “Now make me cum so we can leave this filthy place and show you your new home.”

[serenasoutherlyns]

cherry baby

“I give them about a month before they’re dating.” “How would you know?” Asked Rollins. “Oh,” said Olivia, “I just do.”

calex. teen. ao3. For @allergictocanon-- I wrote you some fluff!

Sharing SVU was much easier than Alex thought it would’ve been. Casey, it turned out, was very easy to be around, and they’d clicked naturally. After a month or so of going out for drinks after work, they had taken to working at Casey’s on Friday nights, splitting a bottle of wine between them. A reward for the week, a tradition, cheaper and cozier than a bar. Things became so easy between them, passing papers, pens, glasses. Then they started to touch each other, casually, friendly. A squeeze of the hand, an affectionate pat on the thigh. It spilled over into work, it felt like they were in one another’s offices as often as their own. On some level, she had anticipated exactly the opposite to happen when they were both assigned to SVU. She knew Casey’s reputation, and she knew her own. Neither were known for their ability to share. Casey seemed determined not to let conflict happen, though.

April brought cold rain to New York. They rushed inside Casey’s apartment but still found themselves damp. Casey’s hair stuck to her forehead. She turned up the heat as the two of them shivered.

---

“They’re getting close,” Olivia remarked to Rollins upon leaving Alex’s office. Without hardly looking up from their work, Alex had handed them one warrant, Casey another.

“I’m glad they get along,” Rollins said. “It would be a huge hassle if they didn’t.”

“Yes,” said Olivia, “I think it’s a little beyond that.”

“Meaning?” Said Rollins.

“I give them about a month before they’re dating.”

“How would you know?” Asked Rollins.

“Oh,” said Olivia, “I just do.” Amanda caught the hint. That was interesting, she thought.

---

Casey sat down on the couch after changing into dry clothes. She gave Alex her nicest, yet still ratty, sweatpants and long-sleeved tee. She looked amazing casual like this. She even took her hair down. The rain picked up.

“I don’t feel like working,” said Casey. “I don’t have much to do anyway.”

“We don’t have to work,” said Alex. She opened the bottle of wine. Alex knew where her corkscrew was. “Do you want to order Thai food and watch a movie?” Alex stretched her arms above her head and Casey’s eyes were drawn to a sliver of exposed skin at her hip.

“That sounds amazing.” Thunder rumbled outside. Alex paled. “You okay?” Asked Casey.

“Fine,” said Alex unconvincingly. “I don’t like thunderstorms,” she admitted.

---

“Here, let me carry some of those,” Casey said, taking a stack of files from Alex’s arms. Olivia watched them from her desk as they entered the precinct. Alex gave Casey an affectionate look that Olivia would recognize anywhere. She wondered if the two of them had caught on to each other yet. She shot Rollins a smug look. Rollins rolled her eyes back.

“Counselors,” said Rollins. “We’ve got your suspect.”

“So we heard,” said Casey, “What room?”

“Five,” said Olivia.

“Got it,” said Alex. “Amanda, do you want to do the talking? Olivia and I can observe from outside, and Casey can sit in for the lawyer cred.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Amanda. She gestured to Casey to follow her.

Olivia knew Amanda had this under control. She turned her attention to her colleague, who seemed to be observing someone other than the suspect. Alex bit her lip watching Casey. Olivia remembered that well. It took a lot of self-control not to laugh.

---

They picked Pride and Prejudice, Casey’s suggestion. Alex wasn’t the biggest Austen fan, but she would’ve watched whatever Casey wanted. The storm didn’t let up the whole time. Alex did her best not to show it, but she jumped and trembled with every thunderclap. Casey noticed despite her best efforts and placed her hand over Alex’s white knuckles. That did not slow down her heartbeat.

“Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy,” said Matthew McFadyen. As the credits rolled, Alex realized she was pressed into Casey’s side completely. It would be so easy to simply turn her head, her lips would be inches from Casey’s. She coughed and made some space between them, slowly withdrawing her hand. Casey stretched her arms forward. It was almost nine o’clock, and still storming. Alex dreaded going out in this, even if she could call a cab right to the apartment.

“Another one?” Asked Casey sleepily.

“Yeah,” said Alex. “You pick.”

“Are you sure about that?” Said Casey.

“Mhm,” said Alex. “Whatever you want. You’re the one with the DVDs.”

“Good point,” said Casey. “Emma it is.” She grinned. “More popcorn?”

“Please.”

---

At drinks, Olivia was surprised the two of them weren’t making out at the table. Casey leaned into Alex’s space and Alex returned the favor. Olivia wouldn’t be surprised if they were holding hands under the table. She wondered if they had consummated the obvious sexual tension yet. If they hadn’t it would be a matter of days. This was so entertaining. Casey went to grab another pitcher and Alex watched her the whole way to the bar. They shared a carton of peanuts, ignoring the brushes of their fingertips. Casey whispered something in Alex’s ear, and they laughed, Alex tilting her head back. It couldn’t hurt to fuck with them a bit.

“Okay,” said Olivia, “Casey, truth or dare?”

“Oh, come on,” said Casey, “how old are we?”

“That’s something only boring people ask,” said Rollins, catching on to Olivia’s tactics.

“Truth or dare, Casey?”

“Fine,” she said, annoyed at having her attention drawn away from Alex, “Truth.”

“When was the last time you got laid?” Olivia asked. Casey blushed.

“Uh,” she said, “Three months ago.” Alex’s eyes widened, in surprise or jealousy, Olivia couldn’t tell.

“Damn girl, save some for the rest of us,” teased Rollins.

“Whatever, I’m busy. Olivia, truth or dare?”

“Dare,” she said.

“Kiss Rollins,” said Alex. Rollins reddened, but Olivia retained her composure.

“I’m her superior,” said Olivia.

“Who cares? It’s just a kiss.” Amanda apparently agreed. She shrugged and kissed Olivia herself. Damn, thought Olivia. That was fun.

---

When Emma ended, it was eleven. The streets were flooded, but the storm had stopped. Casey was relieved at Alex’s relaxation. But, like hell Casey was letting Alex go home in this.

“I should be going,” said Alex. Casey looked at her like she had three heads.

“What are you talking about? In this weather?”

“I don’t want to intrude,” said Alex.

“It’s not intruding if I’m inviting you,” countered Casey. She held Alex’s hand in her own. Alex looked at their interlaced hands.

“Okay,” she said.

“But,” said Casey, “Do you want to listen to some music?”

---

This was the fifth time Alex had brought up Casey tonight. At dinner. At the dinner where the two of them were supposed to be catching up. Olivia now knew that:

a) Casey was great at her job b) Casey was close with her mom c) Casey loved thriller novels d) Casey was a Godsend in the office e) Casey looked great in her softball uniform.

And Alex had the audacity to pester her about Amanda after that. She was almost ready to trap the two of them in a closet and wait for them to figure their shit out.

---

Casey put on the new Chairlift album. Alex liked it. It was time, Alex thought around track seven. If she didn’t do this now, she wondered if it would ever happen. Casey was saying something, and Alex was taking none of it in.

“Alex?” Said Casey. Apparently, it had been silent for a while.

“Casey,” said Alex, “I.” That was not a sentence with an ending. Casey looked at her wide-eyed, and Alex kissed her. She did what she had wanted to for months. It was everything she wanted and more, Casey’s muffled surprised sound before she kissed her back desperately. Their hands roamed. Casey pulled away.

“Finally,” she said, “finally.”

---

Olivia entered Casey’s office to find the two of them on the couch, equally focused. They were holding hands. Olivia doubted they even knew they were. Finally, Olivia thought.

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Crosshair and Loyalty

Major spoilers for "The Return"- please tread carefully

Seeing Crosshair in the new episode was everything to me. He's changed so much in so many different ways. And since he's way more talkative and expressive now, we do get to see what's going on in his head. I thought his dialogue in this episode was very interesting and makes me think more about his character.

I find it so interesting that loyalty seems to be Crosshair's guiding light. When he latches on to something, he follows through until they turn on him. Loyalty is something he values so much. And I want to talk about it because it does give us a good look at who he is.

I do believe in "Aftermath," he does say that the Empire and Republic were the same to him. My point is, Crosshair isn't guided by some giant moral compass with the needle always pointing towards good or bad the way Echo is. Crosshair follows whoever is loyal to him. And unfortunately, this leads to the Empire.

"I did betray them, after they betrayed me."

As harsh as the truth is, it's still the truth. Crosshair wouldn't have left the Empire if he didn't get the lights turned on for him in "The Outpost." He values himself as a soldier and an exceptional sniper, something the Empire took advantage of. They didn't care who he was, but he was useful so why not right? Crosshair, seeing his skills valued and feeling powerful, jumps right on board. So, some people aren't following the regime and have to be dealt with, that's not my problem (Crosshair, probably). Anyways, Crosshair follows orders even if they're morally dubious because he's a good soldier. He's valued (at least he thinks so), basic needs met, and his skill is put to use. The Empire isn't doing anything to him personally and he's getting rewarded for it by continuing his service and getting that promotion in "Aftermath." And so life is good... until it isn't. Being as stubborn and stoic as he is, vulnerability doesn't come easy to Crosshair. Even if he won't admit it, the Empire is slowly whittling away at his mind. When we meet him in season 2, the cracks are starting to form. He is struggling. But the Empire is still loyal to him so he can push through the pain and keep going, right?

Looking back, Tech's description of Crosshair being "severe and unyielding" is very accurate. Crosshair is a survivor and will do whatever it takes so keep going. That means that other people might get left behind... or so Crosshair likes to tell others. See, here's the thing about Crosshair and loyalty: when he finds someone who's loyal to him and values him and all that, he sticks to them like glue. Oh sure, he will go on and on about how he'll just get himself out when danger strikes, yet, we never see him actually follow through with that. He's such an interesting character because he is guided by that loyalty he feels towards others. Mayday is a good example of this. Mayday stuck by Crosshair the whole time and ultimately saved his life. Crosshair, feeling lonely, grew to care for Mayday. Thus, when Mayday was injured, Cross didn't hesitate to carry him back. Omega works as well. She didn't have a history with Cross like the others. But her plucky attitude and determination to help him caused him to care for her and genuinely love her.

Deep down in the depths of his heart, Crosshair's one and true loyalty is to his family (plus Cody and Mayday). No Empire or Republic could truly ever break that. Even though he did choose the Empire (this is oversimplifying a lot of things), the Batch never fully left his heart or mind.

Crosshair in the second half of season 1 never made a move to kill the Batch. He did some very twisted things such as luring them into a supposed trap only to kill the imperials, but he never physically shot them. Crosshair's anger towards his brother stemmed from the perception that they were disloyal to him (there is some truth in that).

"You weren't loyal to me." "Don't become my enemy." "Crosshair, we never were."

Crosshair's perception of his brothers' actions deeply hurt him. If he didn't care about them anymore, this wouldn't have bothered him to this degree. But, it does bother him. He loves them. He's loyal to them. But they broke that bond first, at least according to him.

I feel that if Crosshair was truly loyal to the Empire, like 100% no inner conflict, he would've easily killed his brothers in season 1 and called it a night. But that's not what we see. Instead, we see a tormented man who still does care for his family, but is led astray by false promises and hurt feelings. Crosshair's loyalty for his family extends across all seasons. In season 2, Crosshair turns on the Empire and then risks his own life to warn the Batch about Hemlock. Season 3 is where we see his loyalty shine even more.

Hunter does not trust Crosshair the way Wrecker does. Even Echo is more or less chill about Cross' return. But Hunter is still very hurt and confused about the whole thing. He doesn't fully understand why Crosshair betrayed the Empire. So, he engages in verbal sparring with his brother, determined to get answers. And Crosshair gets angry; he clamps up and begins to berate Hunter, specifically about how he failed at protecting Omega and all that. But when Hunter's life is thrown into danger by the wyrm, Crosshair doesn't hesitate one bit to rescue him. He cries out for Hunter, desperately trying to get him out of the hole he fell down. Afterwards, Crosshair even becomes willing to open up to Hunter and admits he was wrong about many things. Again, it's that steadfast loyalty and love for his family. The Empire betrayed Crosshair and he didn't look back. Crosshair felt betrayed by the Batch, yet he did look back and wanted to be with them. I also want to point out that Crosshair's hand began to shake when Hunter called him out for turning against them. I do believe the tremor is partially a result from Crosshair's shame and guilt about what happened.

I do think Crosshair's personality is also part of the reason why he didn't go back at the end of season 1. He wasn't ready yet. Crosshair is prideful and very stubborn. If he goes back, it would have to be his choice. He still cares for the Batch and always will, but he still had a lot to learn. Some people, unfortunately, won't learn until they're pushed to their limit and that's what happened to Crosshair. He learned that the loyalty he thought the Empire showed him was actually just an illusion. Meanwhile, the loyalty and love for his family remained. Omega fought so hard to bring him home. Hunter and Wrecker took him back, even if there's still much to work through. Echo accepted him back. They still cared for him.

TLDR: Crosshair follows those who're loyal to him. When he finds someone he's loyal to, he gives them his all. Crosshair loves and cares so fiercely and deeply. He talks a great game, but that man will protect you regardless.

[heyyallitsbethfanfic]

Kirito's Quest Reward / Something Comforting

In Alfheim Online, a small party of friends were taking on a boss monster. The giant salamander itself wasn’t particularly threatening, even with it’s attacks leaving multiple debuff effects, but the party enjoyed taking on large bosses together, and definitely enjoyed the payouts from selling the rare Fang Daggers these beasts drop.

“Remember, the one to finish it gets whatever it drops!” teased Leafa, who had been dealing most of the heavy hits this rotation. She knew they always shared rewards anyway, unless there was only one unique item per quest. However noticing her health had decreased due to the monster’s poison, she was prepping to take defensive. “Now switch!”

In a swift movement the girl and her attacking duo Klein had fallen back to the defensive and support lines, and two new attackers came in, the romantic crossed sword duo of Kirito and Asuna. Between them 3 swords cut deep and heavily into the salamander’s HP. Flurries of shortsword stabs and rapier pierces were landed before the rest of the team had assumed their new positions. Leafa began supporting her teammates with spell buffs alongside the cait sith monster tamer Silica, and Klein took a defensive stance beside the mace wielding blacksmith Lisbeth, preparing to run in to assist the mainline attackers. As the HP of the beast faded lower and lower, a rain of arrows shot down from above as the cait sith archer Sinon unleashed battalions worth of arrows. Not to be outdone, the blackswordsman Kirito rushed in unleashing a devastating combo to the creature, taking it’s final health points down to zero.

“Hmmph, all that effort in the last moments and you still go and killsteal.” Sinon sighed and huffed jokingly.

“Heh relax Sinon, we’re all sharin’ in the rewards nomatter what” Kirito replied, smirking.

As the monster turned to glittery dust a gift box fell from it’s place and landed square on the battlefield.

“Ah crap.” Lisbeth complained “That special drop events still goin’ on. All that work and we still might get a freakin’ steel dagger out of it.”

“Shoot! And I just barely made enough yuld off of it to buy back the potions we used.” Klein huffed.

“Hey we still have a chance for it to be good, even if we haven’t had much luck with it” optimistically chimed in Silica.

“Well, in that case if nobody wants it, I’ll be the one stuck with it I guess” Kirito said, striding over to it. “I was the one who took it down after all~” He playfully taunted to the other partymembers. 

He tapped on the box to open it and reveal it’s contents, fully expecting something mediocre.

“Hmm?”

A dialogue box appeared in front of him “1x Classic Maid Outfit added to inventory”

He closed the dialogue box before anyone else could catch up and see what it was.

“So whatcha get?” Asuna inquired looking right over his shoulder.

Kirito jumped from the sudden break in silence, hoping she hadn’t seen the box’s contents. His face flushed red and he flailed his arms. “N-NOTHING- NOTHING AT ALL HAHA-”

Real smooth there Kazuto. He thought to himself. You know how your friends are. That’s just inviting problems.

“Ooooooo~ somebody got something special~” cooed Lisbeth, now nearly hovering over the poor boy.

“So what rare item did you steal from me hm Kirito?” Sinon peered down.

“Heh- no. Th-there wasn’t even anything in it. Guess we got screwed by it haha-”

Next quest: Get better at lying. 

“Oh nuh uh, you aint keepin whatever it is for yourself, if it’s worth a buncha yuld then we’re splittin it okay Kirito?” Klein tossed out.

Kirito wanted to clear his inventory, he would sooner lose Excalibur than reveal what he had received.

“Hey Yui, if Kirito isn’t gonna tell us, could you check his inventory for us?” Silica spoke between small giggles.

“Yui please don’t-”

But it was too late. The small navigation pixie had already opened up a tab to review Kirito’s items.

“Hmmm let’s see. Ah it seems Daddy received an event item from one of Alfheim’s prior Valentine’s Day Events”

Valentine’s Day Item? Well that’s not gonna arouse any suspicion at ALL. Kirito grumbled to himself, his face so red he was matching the color of the holiday itself.

“Spill the beans Yui, whats it worth?” Klein inquired.

“Hehehe~ I just wanna know what it is that’s gotten Kiri so embarrassed~” teased Lisbeth. “Is it some toy you’re gonna share with Asuna later?~”

“AAAA Nononononono it’s nothing like that-” Kirito stammered out.

“No it’s not a toy- it appears the item itself is a clothing item labeled ‘Classic Maid Outfit’” Yui innocently stated.

The group went silent as Kirito’s face went from a flush red to a stark white pale. Then they all started laughing. Lis and Sinon were all but banging the ground laughing at the mortified boy. It took countless agonizing seconds until anyone spoke.

“S-*snkr* So you gonna model it for us Kiri-Chan?~” Lisbeth managed out between snickers. 

“Yeah it’s all yours oneesan~” Leafa joked out.

Sinon who had previously been laughing the hardest now had a more neutral but smug look on her face “Jeez if you wanna see him girly so bad you should join us in GGO sometime.”

GGO… Kirito thought. Yeah that model was quite something. I swear that there was something special in my eyes there. They just seemed brighter…

Kirito slapped his cheeks out of that thought.

“I’m not making it out of here without putting it on am I?” he sheepishly responded. 

“Honey you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I can’t say I wouldn’t mind seeing-” Asuna trailed off, imagining Kirito’s toned physique in a maid outfit.

Add that to the online shopping list later. She thought, her mind filled with devious thoughts.

“You’re just scared you’ll like it-” Klein teased before getting one of Kirito’s boots directly to the jaw.

“F-fine. Just- Everyone turn around. If anyone peeks as I change I’m deleting this account!” Kirito stammered out.

The giggles of the group grew louder as they turned away. His fingers fumbled with the prompts to switch outfits, as if the outfit itself was attacking.

You’re just scared you’ll like it.

The words echoed in Kirito’s mind as he hit confirm. 

He got a good look at his reflection in the mirror view of the UI.

I look like one of those freakin’ anime twin maids Klein loves. Wait… Nononono- I look like Sugu…

Kirito wasn’t wrong, if it werent for his modest chest, he’d easily be mistaken as his sister. But like this, he looked like his sibling’s little sister more than her big brother. His face was soft. His hair had updated along with the clothing, now appearing more similar to his GGO avatar, with the only substantially shorter in the back. In addition to the dress, he had been gifted with a cute little hat and was adorned in ribbons and stockings. The outfit was a dark lavender, with the ribbons appearing a slightly brighter purple. The purple really brought out the color in his dark grey eyes.

“Everything okay Kirito?” Squeaked Silica. “I know we were teasing but if you’re uncomfortable you don’t havta show us…”

Why is she the only one with any decency here? He took one last look at himself in the mirror. Those lights are back in my eyes… He pushed down that thought and sighed.

“You can look now…”

He closed his eyes and braced for the worst. He expected laughter and mockery. What he got was… Silence? Silence for far far too long.

“Guys is everything okay?”

He opened his eyes and noticed everyone was just staring at him, shocked but… not giggly or amused… Almost confused? With the exception of Klein, who was frozen in place, and slowly tipped over before logging out.

“Jeez tough crowd” Kirito joked, trying to make the situation more bearable for himself.

He noticed as the slight breeze blew past, the skirt picked up a bit and waved effortlessly in the wind. Without thinking, he spun around, watching as his skirt effortlessly spun with him. He giggled.

Hmm. Not so bad… EH? What am I thinking I need to get this off-

“K-kirito?” Asuna quietly broke the silence.

“Yes ma’am” Kirito almost chirped out. 

He was happy to see he was now taking it better than anyone else. And then the whole group pounced on him, tackling him to the ground with a hug.

“You’re so cuteeeeeeeeeee!” they all echoed.

Even Sinon, the most modest one seemed utterly infatuated.

“Jeez Sinon, you’ve seen me worse than this- And Sugu you’ve DEFINITELY seen me worse than this-” Kirito thought of playing dress up with her as a kid, but a memory that should’ve made him shudder now brought him a surprising warmth.

That’s not good. He thought to himself. Yeah I’m gonna have to do some serious thinking about this. Or better yet I should simply never think of this again.

“Okay funs over now” Kirito exclaimed, tired of being at the bottom of a pile of bosoms. “This has been exhausting and I wanna go to bed now.”

That night Kirito dreamt of his wedding in Aincrad with Asuna, only now he looked like his GGO Avatar.

…

…

…

Kirito woke up early the next morning and his heart ached. He sent a good morning text to Asuna, despite knowing she’d probably be sleeping in still. He paused before he knocked on his sister’s door to wake her up, and chose not to, just sending her a quick “running out for groceries, be back soon.” text before he got on his bike and left.

Maybe a little ride can clear my head.

Kirito cruised down nearly empty streets, trying to think of anything other than his dream and yesterday. He hadn’t lied about the groceries, he just walked through the supermarket picking up a few essentials for him and Suguha for the week, passing through on his way to checkout when a glimmer caught his eye. He had wound up in the women’s clothing department, and beside him standing tall was a mannequin wearing a basic black skirt. It was nothing special, it was cheap, it was just a department store clothing brand. He looked at his reflection in the black screen of his phone, seeing sparkles in his eyes. He sighed, knowing he was about to make a mistake and placed it in his basket and checked out. He rode home from the shops with his mind racing. 

Why did I do that? I’m such an idiot. What the hell am I doing? What would Sugu say? What will Asuna say? I- I just need to try this once. I’m just gonna go home, try it on, nothing will happen and I’ll burn the damn thing.

Kirito tried to enter the home as quietly as possible, dropping the groceries on the table and tip toeing to his room with the bag with the skirt in it. He closed the door behind him, but in his anxiousness to try on the skirt, he neglected to lock it. He slid out of his black sweatpants, staring at his body in the mirror. His figure was slender, almost effeminate in nature. Years without hardcore exercise and barely eating while in SAO clearly took it’s toll on a previously toned figure.

Maybe I do look like Sugu…

Back when they were little, Suguha and Kazuto were always mistaken for twin girls, despite Kazuto being older and not even Suguha’s blood sibling. He never minded back then, he just liked being close to her. They’d occasionally swap clothes to mess with their parents. Kazuto softly smiled at the thought. He slipped on the skirt. She slipped on the skirt.

His eyes met hers in the mirror. Where a dull grey void once sat, a galaxy of stars was now present, with shimmering highlights and purple hues never noticed until now. There was a subtle curvature to her hips. A natural softness to her face. Her slender physique made him jealous. He stared at the girl who looked back at him, she shyly smiled and as the words left her mouth, they followed in his. “So, this is me?”

She looked down, and the girl was him. 

She nervously laughed and shook in place. She watched as her skirt flowed side to side with every subtle movement. She spun herself around, watching the skirt flare up. She giggled to herself. She spun herself again. And again and again. She was giggling to herself like crazy. There were no thoughts left in her head, it was just a pure moment of bliss. And it came crushing down as the door opened behind her.

“Yawnnnnnnn~ Kazutooooooo please could you make a little less noi-” Sugu entered the room with her eyes closed yawning, but her eyes quickly shot open as she saw what was once her big brother in a tiny black skirt.

“S-Sugu??? EH! Don’t Look! I’m not decent!” She blurted out, not realizing she was pitching her voice higher than normal. She scrambled behind her bed, trying to cover up her shame, hiding her blushing face behind her hands.

Suguha smiled softly and walked over beside her as she softly pet her sister’s head.

“Well, it seems like I’ve stumbled into something big huh? Listen Kazuto. Or… whatever you may wanna be called. I’m always gonna support and love my big sibling, nomatter who they are.” She kissed the timid girl’s forehead. “I’m gonna go make us breakfast okay. You can wear that if you wanna. It’s just us home today. You don’t have to worry. You don’t have to tell anyone else if you aren’t ready. You don’t even have to tell me if you’re not ready. But I’m here for you.”

She walked out the door, and Kazuto sighed, knowing she meant every word of that.

…

…

…

Kazuto followed not long after, choosing to wear the skirt downstairs to the kitchen. She was blushing the whole time, still unable to meet her sister’s eyes. She slid a stack of pancakes over to her.

“Here big sis, I made your favorite.” She smiled sweetly down at Kazuto.

“...I like that.”

“Hmm?”

“I think… I think I prefer being your big sister.”

Suguha smiled brightly.

“Yayyyyyy! Now we get to do fun girly stuff together! This is so exciting!- Oh and of course, thank you for trusting me enough with this sis. It means a lot.” Suguha felt a warmth she had never felt, and she felt like it was due to the beaming smile on her big sister’s face.

“So, what are you thinkin’ for a name?”

…

…

…

A few days pass and nobody outside the Kirigaya household hears from Kazuto. He seemingly vanished from the ALO party, and only returned a few texts with “Sorry I’m just busy, miss you too” or “I love you too Asuna”. Truthfully, Kazuto had been training up a new ALO avatar with her sister, creating a swordfighting cait sith, with a name she chose for herself, Kiriko.

“Hey I’m gonna head out and make some lunch for us okay Kiriko? Don’t go far, and I’ll meet you in town.” “Sounds good Leafa, thank you!”

While Sugu’s cooking wasn’t the masterpiece Asuna’s was, Kiriko was always happy to indulge in some of Sugu’s fine craftsmanship as well. Leafa signed out, and her model disappeared. And Kiriko was alone.

She strolled through the town, wondering what to do in the meantime.

“I could really use some sword upgrades…” She muttered to herself, knowing that the only blacksmith worth caring about was Lisbeth, and she didn’t know who Kiriko was yet. 

“Ah well I can help you with that one!” A familiar voice made Kiriko jump, her ears and tail standing on end. “Heh, didn’t mean to scare ya, I’m Klein, and if you need some smithin’ done, I know just the girl for you.”

Kiriko did her best to pitch her voice up to not be recognized “N-nice to meet you Klein, but that’s okay- I- I think I might just wait until I get a better sword drop…”

“Nonsense, Liz is the best in the business, she can make a starter sword scale right alongside Excalibur” He laughed to himself. “What’s your name by the way?”

“K-Kiriko…” She embarrassedly managed out.

Great. I look like my little sister, and the name I chose is 1 letter off of my old handle. I am the smartest woman alive.

Luckily for Kiriko, Klein was the dumbest man alive, and did not question it at all, leading her to Lisbeth’s Smithy.

“Hey guys, I’m back, and I found a newbie who needs some sword help.” Klein announced to the full party.

Kiriko gulped. Everyone but Leafa was here. Asuna, Yui, Strea, Lisbeth, Silica, Sinon, Philia, Agil, even Argo.

With my luck, somehow Sachi is gonna walk through that door isn’t she…

“H-hi everyone, I’m Kiriko… Klein said that Lisbeth is a master blacksmith. At least I think he said ‘master blacksmith’ but all I really caught was ‘master b’-” She knew this was gonna be dreadful, so the least she could do was tease Klein before the whole thing fell apart.

“H-HEY! I said nothing like that- She is a master blacksmith though! She’s been working at it since Sword Art.”

“Yup yup! The best in the business!”

“It’s nice to see you again Liz, I haven’t had a chance to see you since SAO I suppose” Kiriko lied.

It’s not too farfetched to be another SAO survivor… Gives me some leeway if I mess up and say more than I should known…

“Ohmygosh sorry- I usually don’t forget my customers faces…” Liz pouted.

“Hey now, cheer up, consider us equal for me breaking your sword.”

Smooth one smoothbrain. Kiriko thought to herself.

“Eh?” Liz cocked her head. “I don’t think anyone but Kiri-”

“Y’know out in the field, I abused the poor sword, I should’ve taken better care of such expert craftsmanship” She smiled out the quickest excuse she could muster.

“Ahhhh I see. You just reminded me of my favorite customer hehe.” She took Kiriko’s sword from her and got to work on it. “Cute guy, but he’s dumb as rocks. Broke my best sword and made me go on an adventure to forge him a new one.”

“Sounds like a bit of a jerk to me.” Kiriko joked.

“Nah, he’s the sweetest guy, but he’s a little bit off.”

“Yeah, he helped me revive my Pina!” Silica butted in.

“And he saved me from the Hollow Area” Philia added.

“And he’s like, the sweetest husband ever” Asuna swooned.

“And he’s the best daddy ever!” Yui chimed in. 

“He’s helped me in more ways than I’d care to say” Sinon said blushing.

Kiriko herself was now blushing and trying to stifle a smile, hearing all these kind things from all of her friends.

“Jeez, put the boy on a pedestal some more will ya? You’re just begging for this girl to be competition in that polycule you’ve got brewin” Klein sighed “Course, ya cant help but love the guy, after all, he saved us all so many times.”

She felt at home for once, the moment was so warm and peaceful.

“Hmm, you even look a lot like Kii-boy” 

Crap.

Argo’s intuition was always top notch. She’d sniff out the fact that Kiriko was Kirito faster than anyone. She needed excuses and fast.

“Well, I’ve been told I do look boyish-” Kiriko idly fiddled with her skirt, kicking her feet a little.

“Nono- You don’t look boyish at all! Infact it’s more that Kirito looks girlish” Philia tried to console Kiriko.

“Yeah! He actually wore a dress recently and he was really cute!” Silica was practically meowing out the compliment.

“We’ve all been thinking, we haven’t seen him since he did it, we’re worried that maybe we teased him too much and now he got self conscious.” Sinon looked down shamefully.

Kiriko could barely manage to keep up her facade. 

Focus focus focus. Think of things to say to make this go away.

Kiriko chose to simply say the truth. “Well, I think if they were willing to put on the dress, maybe they were just finding an excuse to try it out. Maybe they ended up liking it and has been taking some time for themself to work some things out.”

The room went a bit quiet. All that could be heard was Agil talking to customers and Liz hammering away in the background, but both were clearly listening in intently.

“Whatcha mean?” Silica asked.

“W-well… There’s this thing I’ve been reading about on some MMO forums. Apparently some guys will dress up with female avatars as a joke, and then realize something, that maybe they were girls all along. Maybe your friend is doing that?”

Kiriko was stuttering out almost every word. There’s no way they wouldn’t catch on.

“Well, then I’d be the luckiest woman in the world to have the best wife in the world.” Asuna announced.

“Yeah, and I’d get to have the two best Mommies!” Yui said, with Strea nodding along with her.

“Nomatter what, they’re always our Kirito. We’ll always love them nomatter who they end up being.” Sinon added. 

“Yeah, and I can have my own big sister instead of a big brother” Silica giggled to herself.

“Well, she already has a little sister, you sure you can compete with that role?” Kiriko pet Silica’s head and then she realized what she just said.

“Wait… how do you know Kirito has a sister?”

“W-well I’ve been playing with a girl named Leafa whose been teaching me everything- and she keeps talking about her brother Kirito so I just assumed since you both brought up the name.”

Next quest: PLEASE GET BETTER AT LYING BRAIN Kiriko screamed at herself internally.

Argo mischievously laughed. “Yknow Kiriko, I have gotten some inside scoops that Leafa’s been playin alongside a new account and callin her ‘big sis’. Now aint that somethin Kiriko? Or rather Kii-gal?”

Crap. That’s Argo for ya. She knows me better than… well even me probably.

As the tension grew thick enough to cut with a knife, Leafa walked through the door to the Smithy, and Lisbeth returned to listen to the gossip more intently. 

Hopefully Sugu can tell I’m blinking an S.O.S. to her…

“Ah I see you’ve met my friend Kiriko! She’s really sweet right?”

Kiriko shifted in her seat.

“... Fine ya caught me. It’s me…” Kiriko mumbled out. 

No escaping this one chief.

Leafa glanced down a look of “are you sure Kiriko?” to which Kiriko could only nod.

“While you’re about to lose some polycule points for forcibly outing me Argo-” “Polycule points?” Lisbeth inquired.

If I can earn those I’m taking them- Liz thought to herself

“Yes it’s me. I… I just couldn’t stand being Kirito anymore.” The small catgirl looked to be near breaking point. “I.. I didn’t wanna lose any of you. I never had friends until now. And I was so so so worried I’d lose you all. I’d been keeping this down since GunGale. That avatar stuck in my head like a parasite. I couldn’t stop thinking about having long hair, and cute outfits, and twirly skirts, and- and after I tried on that stupid maid outfit, I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t be that same person I was anymore.”

She couldn’t stop the tears anymore. She just balled herself up on the couch. But then she felt a warm soft embrace around her. And another, and another, and another.

“Kiriko, I’m so proud of you. And trust me, you’re still the person I fell in love with in Aincrad. I’m not gonna leave you because you found out more about yourself. That’s just more of you I get to love. I get to fall in love all over again with a wonderful wife.” Asuna held Kiriko tight, and rubbed her cheek against the girl.

A hand was placed on Kiriko’s shoulder. “Heh, you’re so used to playin with chicks that you became one yourself, good for you.” Klein smiled every word out. He may not have been the best with words, but Kiriko appreciated the meaning behind each one.

“We’re all gonna love you nomatter what Kiriko…” Silica was gripping onto her even tighter than Asuna.

Yui and Strea held onto Kiriko for dear life, trying to make their new mommy happy.

“Yeah, you’re our favorite gal to tease, and now we can tease you even harder and in new ways!” Lisbeth smirked devilishly before hugging Kiriko with one arm and poking her cheeks with her free hand.

Kiriko felt another hand on her other shoulder, and looked up to see Agil.

“I’m proud of you for finding out who you are. I’m blessed to have met ya.”

Kiriko’s tears turned from fear and sadness to joy and pride.

Sinon came walking up to where Kiriko was sat and hugged her from the front then pet her head. “Truthfully, I thought you were trans the moment you said you were actually a guy in that avatar in GGO. Every time we fought there I saw that light in your eyes you’ve got now. I’m so proud of you.” She kissed the girl’s forehead. “And now we can confirm that two GGO Winners are girls too” she smirked.

“Hehe, sorry for gettin ya to come out if you werent ready” Argo tossled Kiriko’s hair. “But ya know I’m just like ya too! I just wanted ya to rip that bandaid off hehe. Makes it better in the long term.” Kiriko could only smile at the rat in front of her.

“And can I please have my polycule points back”

“T-there’s no such thing Argo. And if there were I wouldn’t take them from my favorite rat…”

“Hey I know we already talked Kiriko” Leafa held onto Kiriko’s hand “but I’m so proud of you and I’m so happy to have a big sister.”

All Kiriko could do was smile, she was finally herself, and surrounded by all of the people she held dear. 

And in the back of her head, she heard the faint singing of familiar christmas music, and relaxed.

Heh. I guess even Sachi was here afterall.

“I love you all. Thank you so much. All of you.”

[safetycar-restart]

yes yes yes poly!screaming meals

- marcus is naked more often than not. he will put clothes on if guests are coming over, if its a delivery he'll put a bathrobe on for 5 minutes. but aside from that he's naked which can be useful...

- if you like wine plenty will be consumed in the household, thanks to clem supplying it. your boys will fight to refill your glass if you ask for more

- they are all chaos at events/parties, especially if there's alcohol but james Will wander off and make friends with random people. he also gets very emotional about you when he'a drunk

-the sleeping arrangement is key, marcus likes his head on your tummy, james and clem spoon with clem snuggled up to you. sometimes james sleeps cuddled up to you but not often.

- clem submits to you the easiest, a bit of cooing abd hairplay and he's on his knees for you

OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE THOUGHTS SO MUCH!! They're all so good. I'm actually gonna discuss a little bit about each of these thoughts because they're all so so good and I must discuss them all. (I think this au might be new obsession, so if anyone has more thoughts, now is absolutely the time)

MARCUS AND CLOTHES:

I mean yeah, the moment he's comfortable then he's gonna have no clothes on. So much so that you guys can't bring friends home with our warning him otherwise they might be greeted by a naked Marcus.

Especially because Marcus tends to run to the door the moment one of you arrive? He wants to see who is there, and if he can get a kiss from them. Which means that more often than not, whoever comes home gets jumped by a naked Marcus.

But also, none of you tease him about this? There's this unwritten rule that you don't make fun of it because then he'd stop and be uncomfortable and that's unacceptable.

He's also always trying to get everyone else to join him. He's the most successful with clem. Like he'll be cuddling you and the next thing you know he's got his hands under your shirt, telling you that you should take it off, giving you his best horny puppy eyes.

WINE:

Oh god they will so fight to refill your glass!! Because clem knows the most about wine (and he's bit of a service sub), you always let clem tell you about the wine you're drinking and he very much enjoys it. If the wine is for the podcast, then he'll tell you about it beforehand, just because he wants hear you tell him he's very smart and put lots of thought into the chosen wine.

The moment clem is finished telling you about the wine, Marcus and James are right there ready to fight each other to fill your glass. You always roll your eyes at them, but this is very serious business!! You usually let James do it first, Marcus always tries to play dirty to do it first and that can't be rewarded.

There are so many evenings spent sipping wine and chatting, with Marcus and clem in various stages of undress throughout the night. In the end it just turns into sex, because of course it does.

PARTIES:

Oh god it's like trying to wrangle kittens. James is usually pretty well behaved until he gets a few drinks in him and then he's making friends with random people. Which is cute, except for when it's time to go home because you have to convince him to leave his new friends.

But he also always ends up befriending the most helpful people and somehow seems to know everyone? There's never been an event you've attended without James somehow knowing someone.

clem is a very happy, giggly drunk and he LOVES dancing. He'll often get dragged into whatever chaos James is causing, which at least means if you find one you'll find the other.

And Marcus is where the real chaos starts, because he gets horny after a few drinks. And not just mildly horny, I mean grinding against you and pressing open kisses to your neck horny. He gets drunk and then he wants to be absolutely RAILED.

So usually you know it's time to go home when Marcus is one shot away from being arrested for public indecency. Which is also a great way to get clem and James moving, because the moment they hear Marcus would like to be fucked then suddenly they're more than happy to leave their new friends.

SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS:

I love the idea that Marcus wants to sleep on your tummy? It's so nice and so soft!! He loves it!! And he will be very upset if someone else has taken that spot when he gets to bed.

Especially because he spends so much time away from you three? He rarely ever gets a few days where he can share a bed with all his loves and so when he can, he wants to have the spot on your tummy. James or Clem can take that spot when he isnt there.

And small spoon clem!! Incredible!! Sometimes he'll even drop his hand down to touch Marcus? So he's cuddled up to your side, touching Marcus who is on your tummy and then James spooning clem from behind. It's perfect.

It's especially good because James often works late, so he'll come to bed and the three of you are already asleep, so he'll just slip into bed and hug clem from behind. Clem also often will turn in his sleep and end up snuggled against James's chest.

And oh god I love the idea that sometimes James snuggles up you as welL? I think that you always have to watch out for James, because he struggles with expressing when he needs more support. Marcus and Clem will just take the support that they need, but James will become more withdrawn and you have to pull him back and find out what he needs.

And the best way to do that is often to offer to let him snuggle up to you, just a silent support system. Whenever you ask that, clem never complains about his place being taken because he realises it's important for James. Then clem will be the big spoon! He'll hug James from behind and sometimes Marcus will even move further up to rest against your chest so that he can be closer to James.

WHO SUBMITS THE EASIEST:

Yeah clem is the easiest by far, and I think he really enjoys easy non-sexual kink? He'll love to kneel for you, get handfed, etc. Marcus and James enjoy that side of kink as well, but they want to work for it.

They won't accept an offer to kneel for you unless you give them a task to do first so that they feel like they really deserve it. Like you'll tell James he has to go hand wash the dishes and wants that's done, he can come kneel with clem and then he'll rush to do the dishes, but he won't feel like he deserves to kneel for you if he hasn't done something first.

I think that Marcus can often be the hardest to get to submit? Just because he requires a firmer hand sometimes, he can get lost in his own head and struggle to find that floaty headspace without you guiding him there. That does sometimes require pushing him against a wall, choking him and making him grind against your thigh, wrecking him until he's sobbing and begging and only then can he find that calmness he needs.

[steddieas-shegoes]

the only time i feel human is when i'm in bed with you

epilogue also on AO3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

---------------------------------------------------

The blindfold was somewhat unnecessary; Eddie wouldn’t open his eyes until Steve told him to. He was a brat, but he was good when he knew what the reward would be.

But when he felt the ghost of Steve’s tail running up and down his thigh, his eyes shot open and he was slightly grateful for the dark cloth covering them.

The room was cold, but the bed was warm, and Steve’s tail trailed a line of heat where it touched his skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

The bedroom window was open at Eddie’s insistence, a true test of their privacy in their new home.

He never pictured himself living in the solitude of a mountain, but not having any neighbors for nearly three miles had its advantages.

This being possibly the biggest one.

His hands were tied to the headboard behind him, Steve wanting to christen the new bed without Eddie’s hands interrupting the process.

Steve insisted on using something soft, said he would be keeping him like this for a while and didn’t want him to actually hurt.

It was sweet until it wasn’t.

He couldn’t see, he couldn’t move, and with the way Steve’s tail kept trailing closer to his asshole, he could barely breathe.

The anticipation was enough to keep him hard despite the breeze coming in the window and nerves about how much Steve said he had planned for him. He trusted Steve, had no reason not to, but it didn’t change the fact that he’d said he was trying new things tonight.

Steve’s fingers started running up and down Eddie’s legs, sending shockwaves through his entire body, leaving him whining and whimpering.

“Doing so good staying still, baby. I know you wanna move, don’t you?” Steve asked him, much closer to his ear than Eddie expected him to be.

Eddie nodded, silently pleading with Steve to let him do anything to relieve some of the pressure he felt in his gut.

His only two rules right now were to stay still and not come.

And he was pretty damn close to coming without even getting properly touched.

Though that was pretty normal for them; Steve had spent the last few weeks proving that he could make Eddie come just by using the right tone of voice and playing with his hair.

“And you think being good means you’ll get to come sooner, huh?” he teased.

“Please,” Eddie begged.

He was no longer ashamed to beg for things with Steve, no longer worried about his still newfound status as the “subbiest sub to ever sub” according to Robin.

“Not yet, baby boy. I still have so much to do to you.”

Eddie barely resisted a shiver at his words, his brain running a mile a minute conjuring up what else Steve could possibly have planned for him, for them.

Steve’s hand slapped his cheek, making Eddie jump more from the unexpectedness of it than the pain. It wasn’t even a hard slap, more of a reminder that Steve could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted.

“I know you like when I slap you around, but I like being able to see your eyes when I do it. You’re gonna have to be patient for more,” Steve’s voice wasn’t completely unaffected this time, and Eddie couldn’t help smirking a bit.

As much control as Steve possessed, he wasn’t immune to the way Eddie looked while completely at his mercy.

“Wanna see you, sir, please,” Eddie arched his back, played into what he knew would get Steve to move faster, stop torturing him so much.

“Oh, you do? It’s barely even been a few minutes, baby.”

That may be true, but the minutes felt like hours, and Eddie wanted to be good.

“Miss you,” he pouted.

He heard Steve sigh, but to his surprise, he felt hands untying his blindfold.

The room was dark enough to not send him into shock, only a lamp in the corner of the room on, moonlight coming in from the window giving them a faint white glow.

Eddie tried to pull his hands away, but Steve shook his head.

“No, you wanted to see me so bad, you can watch. You’re not gonna touch though. Not until I’ve had my fun,” Steve pulled away from him, dropping the blindfold to the floor by their bed.

Steve reached for the lube beside him and Eddie clenched his legs together, not prepared for whatever Steve had in store.

“Now, now. Relax. This isn’t for you.”

Which confused the hell out of Eddie.

If not for him, then…

Steve settled himself back against a few of the pillows he’d moved earlier to keep Eddie mostly flat in bed, his shiny fingers rubbing against his own hole.

He let out a moan as one finger dipped inside, then two, barely prepping himself, just making sure whatever he was doing wouldn’t hurt.

Eddie watched with wide eyes as Steve barely stretched himself at all before adding a third finger.

“What- what are you doing?” he finally asked.

“Taking the edge off.”

He said it so simply, like it was completely obvious. As if he had ever once had fingers in his ass in front of Eddie, as if he’d ever even shown interest in bottoming.

“Wh-“ he was cut off by the image of Steve pulling his fingers out, only to replace them with his own tail.

He let out a loud groan as he pushed it further inside himself, eyes rolling back as he undoubtedly found his own prostate.

“Fuck, I should do this more often,” a moan stopped him from continuing as he dragged his tail in and out slowly, fucking himself while Eddie watched in awe.

“I-“

“I know, baby. You can just shut up and watch. I know it’s hard for you to think when you’re like this,” Steve’s red eyes zoned in on Eddie’s slack-jawed face.

Steve moved his tail faster, pumping it in and out of himself at a furious pace, keeping a surprisingly good rhythm for the sounds of pleasure leaking from his mouth.

Eddie had never heard him like this. Was he exaggerating to tease Eddie?

“Mhm,” Steve responded to his thoughts.

Eddie’s hips involuntarily shifted upwards, a small whimper leaving his lips as he thought about how it would feel for Steve to ride him like this.

“You want your cock inside me? You think you’ve earned that?” Steve asked, slowing down his pace, catching his breath.

“Just for a minute, please sir?” Eddie brought out the pout again since it worked so well last time, but Steve just laughed.

“How about I fuck your mouth? And maybe, if you behave yourself, I’ll fuck you with my tail, too.”

Yeah, how could Eddie turn that down?

Despite Steve often slipping into a mean dom role, and sometimes being a lot more rough than Eddie expected, he was quite gentle with his face fucking. Reverent, almost.

Eddie had stretched himself in the shower a bit, but that was more than two hours ago, and he’d barely had two fingers in him before Steve was knocking on the door telling him to hurry up.

He didn’t think Steve would be opening him up any before using his tail, and a small shiver of want shook his body.

He shouldn’t want to feel the slight pain of being stretched too much too quick, but he did.

“Gonna give you everything you want, baby,” Steve said as closed in. “Gonna untie one hand so you can tap me if you need to breathe, but you’re not allowed to touch unless you have to. Understand?”

Eddie nodded, letting his mouth fall open to show Steve he was ready.

He was sure it made him look desperate, but he didn’t care. He was desperate.

He needed to feel Steve inside him, filling him everywhere, surrounding him.

Steve’s claws just barely grazed along his wrist, reaching around to untie his hand from their binds.

He patted his cheek softly, silently reminding him one more time to be good.

And then his cock was sliding into Eddie’s mouth, both of them moaning with the same type of relief.

Eddie felt his cock jump as Steve rocked his hips back and forth slowly at first, not wanting to overwhelm him.

“So hungry for it, aren’t you? Practically devouring it like it’s your first meal in days. Acting like I don’t feed it to you all the time. Such a slut, baby,” Steve teased, smirk audible.

Eddie just moaned in response, all he could do with Steve filling his mouth.

“You want me to fill up your other hole too?” Steve asked breathlessly.

Eddie tapped him on the thigh once as a yes, and he only had to wait a few seconds before he felt Steve’s tail nudging at his entrance.

He felt Steve’s hand tug at his hair, pulling his head back and pushing it forward again until his cock was hitting the back of Eddie’s throat.

“That’s it. Now relax for me, sweet boy.”

Eddie tried, he really did. He let a shaky breath out through his nose, let his eyes drift closed and his legs fall open farther.

But it wasn’t quite enough.

Steve slapped his cheek. Hard.

He let out a muffled scream, his throat contracting around the cock in his mouth. He felt tears gathering in his eyes at the sharp sting.

But once the initial ache dulled, he felt his entire body relax against the sheets, and Steve’s pushed his tail past his entrance.

“So tight, baby boy.”

“Mhmmm,” Eddie moaned as Steve thrust his hips a bit faster.

Steve slapped his other cheek, smiling down at him, sharp teeth on display.

“So full of me, baby. Can’t wait to come down your throat.”

Eddie tried not to whine, tried not to be disappointed at not having Steve’s cock in his ass, not having his come dripping from his hole. He tried not to be upset that he wouldn’t feel quite so claimed tonight.

He shouldn’t be greedy.

Anything Steve gave him was good.

“Oh, sweetheart. You think I’m not gonna give it to you everywhere tonight? I’ve been waiting for this for days,” Steve groaned as his tail curved upwards inside Eddie, rubbing directly against his prostate.

Eddie let the tears fall from his eyes, overwhelmed with the need to come, but unable to until Steve gave permission.

“That mouth of yours has me close already. So hot and wet, you’re a dream,” Steve sighed.

Eddie felt his vision going hazy, felt his brain cloud over with the praise, with the attention. He couldn’t quite understand how Steve managed to make him feel so good while feeling so used.

He didn’t know how Steve made him feel so loved without ever saying the words.

Eddie knew he loved Steve, knew that it was beyond anything the bond had created, and was just waiting for the right moment to say it.

Steve had uprooted his entire life to make sure Eddie was safe, had made sure his uncle was safe even though he wasn’t a big fan of him because he knew how much he meant to Eddie. He’d let Eddie pick the perfect home for them, let him make the big decisions.

Eddie wasn’t worried about Steve loving him or not. He knew from his actions that he did.

“That brain seems pretty loud, baby,” Steve was watching him, an eyebrow raised.

Shit.

Steve shook his head once, slowing his hips for a moment as he cupped Eddie’s cheek in his hand.

“I already know, sweetheart. I know how you feel,” he brushed his thumb along his cheek to wipe a stray tear away before he picked up his pace again.

It only took a few more thrusts before Steve was coming down his throat, whispering his name before letting out a long groan as Eddie nearly choked on the sudden rush of fluid filling his mouth.

He could feel some dripping out as Steve started to pull away, letting Eddie swallow and breathe.

Steve’s finger wiped the corner of his mouth, pushing the spit and come back into his mouth.

“Look so good like this,” Steve whispered.

“Hm?” Eddie couldn’t find the words he needed, but Steve knew what he meant.

“Like you’re mine.” Steve leaned down to kiss his jaw, then his neck.

Steve’s sharp teeth dug into Eddie’s skin, blood pooling around them as Eddie gasped.

He’d had a near permanent bite mark on his neck since they ran from Hawkins, proof that Eddie belonged to someone, belonged to Steve.

Just when it started to fade, Steve would sink his teeth in again, make it brighter, bigger, let the blood flow so he could lick it all up, spit it back into Eddie’s mouth.

It was routine at this point.

Eddie felt owned, possessed.

He felt his cock throbbing as Steve licked up the blood dripping from his neck.

“Are you a vampire or a demon?” Eddie asked, voice raspy from his throat being used.

“Vampires are the bane of my existence,” Steve groaned.

“What?” Eddie hadn’t expected an actual answer from him.

“Not now. You wanna come tonight right?”

Eddie nodded, his focus back on the feeling of Steve’s tail in his ass.

“Well, I guess I better get hard again, huh?”

Steve’s refractory period was ridiculous, usually no more than a few minutes, even if he’d had multiple orgasms already. He liked to use that to his advantage, often pushing Eddie past his own limits.

Steve continued to tease him with his tail, pushing in and pulling back out slowly, barely brushing against his prostate.

Enough to feel good, not enough to come.

It would be maddening if there wasn’t a light at the end of the tunnel for him.

The absence of Steve’s tail was short lived, his cock immediately pushing against Eddie’s hole.

“Gonna fuck you so much tonight, you won’t even be able to walk tomorrow,” Steve growled in his ear.

It was a threat and a promise rolled into one, and Eddie couldn’t do anything but let his eyes roll back as he tugged at his remaining restraint.

“Uh uh. You’re lucky I’m letting you keep that hand loose. No moving.”

Eddie knew it would be worth it, knew being good would have its rewards. It already had; The taste of Steve still on his tongue.

Steve’s cock pushed past his entrance, a dull ache reverberating through his muscles as he did his best to stay still and relaxed. His tail was thick, but not nearly as thick as his cock, and the extra width was almost too much for Eddie in his current state.

“Good boy,” Steve praised. “Relax, baby. You know I belong here.”

“Mhm.” Eddie nodded as he let out a breath.

“Who do you belong to?” Steve asked him, giving him just enough of a distraction to fully seat himself against Eddie’s ass.

“You.”

“And who do I belong to?” he continued, his face softer for a moment.

Eddie stared at him, fresh tears in his eyes.

“Me.”

“You’re mine and I’m yours,” Steve nodded before he pulled out and shoved his cock back in harder, rougher.

“Yours, always yours,” Eddie panted out as Steve kept his hips moving, sharp thrusts shoving Eddie further up the bed.

Steve leaned down, pressing his lips to Eddie’s in a hungry kiss, more teeth than tongue or lips.

“Close,” Eddie breathed into his mouth, feeling the rush of heat in his abdomen, the pull of his balls that told him he didn’t have much longer.

“You’re close?” Steve asked. “I didn’t say you could, though, did I?”

Eddie whined, high-pitched and needy.

“Need to. Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please sir!”

Steve’s thrusts stopped for a moment, just long enough for him to get his tail wrapped around Eddie’s dick.

“Want you to come on my tail and then lick it clean, baby. Think you can do that?”

Eddie nodded, didn’t care what he had to do as long as he got to come.

“When you feel me come inside you, filling you up, you can come.”

Eddie was past the point of being able to acknowledge anything he said, too focused on not letting himself come before Steve.

As much as he loved the idea of being punished, he knew it wouldn’t be any type of punishment he actually enjoyed.

Steve’s cock was leaking enough to be felt dripping out of Eddie’s hole, down his ass, and onto the sheets below.

“Look at me.” Steve demanded. His voice was low, stern.

Eddie looked at him, eyes hooded and bitten-red lips parted.

“Tell me. Say what you were thinking earlier.”

Eddie couldn’t be blamed for his confusion at first, his brain was mush, his body was jelly, and Steve was looking at him with high expectations.

Steve slowed his hips, rested his entire front to Eddie’s, cupping his jaw in his hand.

“Now’s the right time. I promise, baby.”

After another moment, Eddie understood.

“I love you,” he said with a gasp, his back arching at the contact on nearly every inch of his skin, Steve’s heat making sweat bead along his neck and forehead.

“I will love you until the day I’m taken from this earth,” Steve mumbled against his lips, his eyes closing as he pulled Eddie’s bottom lip between his teeth.

Steve’s warm release filled Eddie quickly, like he couldn’t wait another second to make sure Eddie completely belonged to him.

“Ask for it, baby boy. Be good for me,” Steve asked him breathlessly.

“Please let me come, please,” Eddie was barely holding back.

“You’re so good for me. You can, sweetheart.”

Steve had barely even finished giving his permission when Eddie’s release shot between their stomachs, his whole body shaking through it after so long holding back.

It felt like the longest orgasm of his life, seconds went by of him whimpering and crying, repeating Steve’s name over and over, feeling like he was floating above his body.

As he slowly came back to himself, he felt Steve kissing along his side, his tail rubbing their mess along his skin.

“Mm.”

Steve smiled up at him, but didn’t say anything, just kept trailing kisses down his hip and thigh, nipping at a bruise on his inner thigh.

He pushed Eddie’s legs back gently, licking his lips as he looked at the mess dripping from his hole.

His tongue was slow, careful, licking up every drop of come around his hole, on his ass cheeks, inside him.

He was sensitive, almost painfully so, but he didn’t want him to stop.

He never wanted him to stop.

“Fingers?” Eddie asked, barely audible as he pouted down at Steve.

“Really? Not too sore?” Steve asked, the vibrations of his voice making Eddie shiver.

“Feels good.”

Steve slipped two fingers into him, which was nothing after his cock, but enough to keep Eddie content as he continued licking up his own mess.

Eddie closed his eyes, appreciating the feeling of being here, in a home they owned, with his boyfriend who he loved, making it theirs.

He barely registered Steve’s tail joining the two fingers inside him, too tired to tense up the way he maybe would have earlier.

His tail and two fingers together were just barely bigger than his cock, but Eddie was loose, pliant, able to take it without flinching away.

He moaned, long and low, when he felt the tail curl upwards, almost asking permission before touching his prostate.

Eddie nodded before moving his hands down, and oh, he’d been really out of it. Steve had untied his other hand at some point in the last few minutes.

He let one hand grip the sheets, one run through Steve’s hair.

“Please,” he said softly, not begging, just asking.

Steve’s tail curled the rest of the way towards his prostate, milking it for a full minute as Eddie squirmed and sighed out little moans and pants.

“Gonna give me more to clean up, sweetheart?” Steve asked, voice softer than it had been this whole night.

“Mhm,” Eddie nodded, eyes squeezing shut as his back arched and he came again.

His body shook through it, continued shivering for minutes after, even as Steve removed his tail and fingers and pulled him against his chest.

“Did so good for me. Can’t believe I’m this lucky,” Steve murmured against his hair, leaving little kisses to the top of his head between words.

Eddie drifted to sleep like that, the cool breeze cooling him down and keeping him on earth as Steve ran his fingertips up and down his back.

—————————————————————

“What time is Wayne getting here?” Eddie asked, only slightly panicked.

Steve had insisted on spending the morning in bed, said there was no reason to rush through cooking and baking, cleaning or preparing.

And the morning had turned into the early afternoon, and Eddie realized much too late that he hadn’t done anything to be ready for Wayne’s visit for the weekend.

“You wrote down six,” Steve said, unhelpfully snacking on some sliced peppers as Eddie tried to make a homemade sauce for lasagna.

“Did you put sheets on the bed in the guest room?” Eddie asked.

Steve sighed and turned Eddie around to face him, grip on his hips strong and demanding.

“Baby, it’s just Wayne. Why so stressed?”

And wasn’t that the million dollar question? He knew Wayne wouldn’t care that much about waiting an extra few minutes for dinner to be done, or if the kitchen floor hadn’t been swept in a couple days. He knew that ultimately, Wayne would just be happy to see him, put eyes on him for the first time in two months.

It didn’t change the fact that he wanted everything to be perfect, wanted to prove to Wayne that he was happy and cared for, loved.

“I just want him to be proud of me. Of us,” Eddie admitted.

Steve had a way of getting him to be honest without even trying.

Maybe it was part of his powers.

“You know I don’t use those on you on purpose,” Steve smirked. “But he will be proud of you. You’ve turned this house into a beautiful home for us, you’ve got all his favorite stuff, you’re happy. He’ll be happy that you’re happy.”

Eddie knew he was right, but that didn’t change any of his feelings.

“Alright, I can feel the incoming panic. I’ll go double check everything in the guest room and bathroom. You finish supper. We’re a good team, right?” Steve asked.

Eddie nodded.

“Exactly.” Steve kissed his forehead before turning him back to the pot on the stove. “I love you more every moment.”

“You’re not fucking me in front of the food that Wayne has to eat,” Eddie warned.

“You’re no fun,” Steve pouted back.

“You fucked me in the shower this morning. Twice!”

“I’m just a big fan of your ass!” Steve argued.

“I’m a big fan of not seeing anyone’s ass while I’m here.”

Steve and Eddie turned around to see Wayne standing in the doorway, arms crossed and brows raised.

“Wayne! How did you get in?” Eddie asked.

“Y’all left it unlocked. I knocked, but no one came. Figured it was okay to come in,” he said as he moved further into the kitchen.

“Oh.” Eddie took a second to take his uncle in before he ran into his arms. “Missed you, Wayne.”

Wayne hugged him tightly, closing his eyes to keep from crying.

“Missed you too, bud. You cookin’ for me?” Wayne sniffed, taking in the scents of the kitchen.

Then his eyes settled on Steve, who was standing by the counter awkwardly, hands in his pockets.

“Steve.”

“Mr. Munson.”

Eddie looked between them for a minute, letting out a loud laugh.

“I’m not doing this all weekend. You can both go sit in the living room and talk like civilized people until dinner is ready. I love you both, so you have to at least tolerate each other,” Eddie said turning back to the dinner he was cooking.

Wayne glared at Steve.

“Love, is it?” he asked.

“Is that a problem?” Steve asked.

Eddie nudged his shoulder and mouthed ‘be nice.’

Truthfully, he could feel how on edge Steve was the moment Wayne announced his presence. He’d been fine all day when it felt like his visit was far away, but now that he was here, his body was tense and his anxiety was through the roof.

“Not a problem as long as you’re takin’ care of him,” Wayne said.

“You know I’d do anything to protect him.”

Take it easy, love.

Steve nodded to let him know he heard his thought.

“And what about make him happy? What about the soft things? What about making sure he eats when he’s sick? Or gets a hug when he’s had a long day? You doin’ that?”

It felt like a test, one that Steve would pass with flying colors because he did do all of that and more.

He took better care of Eddie than Eddie ever took care of himself.

“I do everything he needs, everything he wants. I love him more than anyone has ever loved anyone else,” Steve said, the emotion pouring through his tone.

Wayne stared at him for another minute in silence before sighing.

“You got some coffee? Been a long trip.”

Steve nodded, both of them coming to a silent agreement that they could at least get along now.

Steve made him coffee, and Wayne told Eddie about his trip over, how he had to fly to a different state first to throw off his cousin who was convinced he was harboring Steve somewhere. He explained how he had to rent a car to drive here, how he had to switch out rentals halfway there just to be safe.

“I’ll pay you back for all that,” Steve said apologetically.

“Nah,” Wayne waved his hand. “Second rental was free because I had them convinced there was somehin’ wrong with the first and the lady at the front desk liked my accent.”

“Wayne!” Eddie exclaimed.

“What? She was sweet.”

Steve smirked.

“Flirting with the rental car lady. Wouldn’t have seen that one coming, Wayne. Good for you!” Steve encouraged him with a wink.

“Don’t encourage him!” Eddie yelled at Steve.

“Why not? Doesn’t he deserve to have a little fun? Maybe find a nice lady to settle down with?”

“Sure, but I don’t need to hear the details,” Eddie said as he stirred some ingredients into the pan in front of him. “If you wanna encourage them, take it to the other room. Actually, do that anyway. I’m busy.”

“You hear this? Getting kicked out of my own kitchen!” Steve said to Wayne.

“You signed up for this,” Wayne laughed.

Eddie was glad Steve couldn’t sense his emotions as well as his thoughts. He kept his mind as blank as he could while he sniffled, hiding the sudden tears falling as Wayne and Steve went into the other room.

Steve snuck up behind him a few seconds later, reaching a hand out to wipe away a tear.

“Okay, sweetheart?” he asked.

“Yeah. Just happy he’s here. Happy we get to do this.”

Steve kissed his cheek and walked out of the room.

————————————————————————

“So, how’re the rest of the Munsons?” Eddie finally built up the courage to ask.

Wayne scraped the last bite off his plate, smiling at Eddie.

“Delicious meal, bud.” He sighed before answering Eddie’s question. “Half of them left Hawkins after about a week. They decided it wasn’t worth it, that you’d show back up eventually. The rest of ‘em haven’t stopped. I managed to send them in the wrong direction twice now, but they’re suspicious of me. Think they’ve been listening to my phone calls at home, so I’ve been callin’ you from work or the Henderson house.”

Eddie hated the hoops Wayne was going through because of him and Steve, hated that the rest of his family were so crazy that they couldn’t even talk on his house phone.

Wish we could do something.

Steve cleared his throat and glanced at Eddie before looking over at Wayne.

“There’s a house for sale down the mountain. You probably passed it. Two bedrooms, huge porch, plenty of yard for a garden if you’re into that. A couple places hiring in town if you wanted to head out and take a look tomorrow,” he suggested.

Eddie stared wide-eyed at him, no idea where this was coming from.

“Robin doesn’t wanna live on a mountain, said it isn’t good for her skin or something. And I know Eddie would like having you close by and away from them. I wouldn’t mind having you here either. If you want,” he continued.

Wayne looked at Steve, then Eddie, then Steve again.

“I appreciate it, but I don’t have the kind of money I’d need to move,” he said, smiling sadly at them.

“Well, I know the person selling the house. I think you could work out a pretty good deal,” Steve said, face red.

“I dunno if they’d be willing to work with what I’ve got.”

“If you can offer your services on building us a porch here, supplies and all, the house is yours.”

“Wait. What?” Eddie asked, confused as hell.

“Yeah, gotta agree with Ed on this. What?” Wayne sounded equally as confused.

“I’m the owner. I bought it last week. Was gonna give it to Robin, honestly, but she refused it. And the next logical thing is to give it to you. So?”

Eddie and Wayne blinked at him.

“Uh. Okay, so I’m sensing some confusion.”

Eddie slapped his arm.

“Yeah, a little!”

“I’m just confused why ya want me close to ya when you hated my guts an hour ago,” Wayne said.

“I didn’t hate you. Eddie loves you, and you love Eddie, and we’re making this our home. It doesn’t make sense that you’re stuck there when you can be here.”

“I guess I’ll go take a look tomorrow, then.”

Eddie turned to Wayne, tears in his eyes.

He’d become so emotional since moving here; He blamed the thin air.

“You will?”

Steve’s hand found his under the table and he squeezed.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t mind gettin’ to be here. Views are nice. Havin’ you a few miles up the road sure beats takin’ a plane and two rental cars.”

Eddie jumped up and ran over to Wayne, hugging him hard.

Steve smiled at them both, happy to make Eddie happy.

“I’ll clean up. You guys can go catch up,” Steve offered.

“I love you,” Eddie said as he ran to him, hugging him even tighter. “And I am going to let you fuck me on every surface of this house when he leaves,” he whispered in his ear before walking away.

Steve rarely blushed, but the way Wayne rolled his eyes, he knew he’d heard what Eddie said.

“Love you too, baby.”

[jotadoul]

🥰 anka and i are sharing a prion disease right now so we're rewatching the JJBA OVA. and okay. maybe it was the weed but i think it might be... i think it's my favourite thing ever made. that's ever existed. for all time. it's my favourite thing that exists. my favourite thing that Is. it really does makes me feel exactly like the ending of HEAT... LOL and i'm serious about this. it's like a stun gun or like being sandblasted where i'm shot outside of my body helpless to what's happening. horrible feeling and i love it very much.

and i feel soooooooo fucking VINDICATED because i dug deep into japanese forums + blogs and found people celebrating it ;__; there are discussions from this year (2024) even! people agree that it's gorgeous and that if you're going to watch (or even read) any version, it should be this one. that it rewards you on rewatches... which is true. every time i see it, i find something new, some extra bit of care that goes toward the structure of the mood. so many subtle movements in the acting, so much elegance to the balance of exposition in the dialogue. mainly in the japanese version, but it's not like it's lost in the english dub, just different. the voice actors did an amazing job with tone— notably there's this shaky tightness in Jotaro's voice during moments of fear/stress that enhances his expressions, actions.

i found people talking about the tension, acting, a wonderful review on the use of shifting, dynamic lighting throughout the OVA, the way the sound design— engineered by Skywalker Sound with score by a very young (~19) Marco D'Ambrosio— fills in SO MUCH for the animation with tasteful specificity in implying things like unique weight for footsteps, for Avdol's rings, or how the sound of Geb is like a strange layered scream. and fortunately found many people talking about being in awe of n'doul's humanity and how he has serious rizz lol and that he, in any version, is the only serious sobering moment of the glory gods... WAAAAH then i come on twitter or whatever and people are like "looks like shit, worst fight in the thing," and it's like jesus h. christ get a LIFE. i'm sorry you were tricked and lied to, but bad taste can be fixed if you just open your heart a little.

i do not feel moved whatsoever to watch the rest of the TV series (i made it up to the hunting episode of DIU.) something can be faithful and also a major downgrade, by intending to be as faithful as possible, misses the elements that make it what it is. besides, modern anime looks like real shit right now and i won't force myself through it solely because it exists. but i love this adaptation. i would rather see a beautiful interpretation that prioritises an effective, effecting mood, that tries to compromise with purpose and synthesise the source into what an animated version— the short film that this is— can do for it. what the form can heighten. there are little movements, upticks in speed or anxious stillness. the breathless timing and gravity of jotaro touching down and star platinum ripping right out of him like a major leaguer performing another major league hit. n'doul reacting to iggy, jumping slightly while kneeling. jotaro wiping off his fingers with a hanky and then rubbing them together. the entire scene with polnareff on the crates. oh GOD and the opening with the inverted sun... the cane... the cane scene cannot Not destroy you, be honest.

why did they include the red granite obelisk, notably from aswan, one of which was at one time commissioned by hadrian for his boyfriend antinous who drowned in the nile? that didn't have to be there, but isn't it beautiful? (and they put the eye hieroglyph right where we can see it... uuugh.) never mind the actual canonical content, with jotaro and n'doul mutually captivated, delighted, by each other's skill until the end. it's so painful knowing the inevitable outcome but it still somehow sneaks up on you with the way it's paced and i love to be rocked by it every time. the only guy ever to be spared on purpose— respecting him that much! and the respect is mutual! jesus, his monologue! he's the only one to be mourned. THE only one to be buried. by hand. alone. the fight begins under high noon sun and the burial completes at dusk. he's 17. fuck me.

i love when a story is never allowed to fully wrap up into the typical "and it was all worth it!" sort of vibe, which, in a way, is what happens, but it never rises to the point where... where that positivity matches the intensity of what was shown to you previously, or that those losses are meant to be forgotten in the wake of righteousness. and as far as i can recall, this is something araki has perfected over time. i'm thinking about the brutal bit in DIU with josuke carrying? dragging? okuyasu, and the particulars of kira's fate. but i'm REALLY thinking of VA, with giorno &co. in the office, and the epilogue. and then obviously SO. and then SBR. and JJL. this approach, the bittersweet heartache or outright mourning, has become a precise weapon and i can see the through-line from SDC. now that i've watched HEAT i can see why araki said that he cries every time he watches it. it's wrenching. and a big part of that is that you don't necessarily expect it because of genre or style flourishes, and that's really special. to be caught unawares, because you were already caught, you've been caught this whole time and now you have to take it.

i now know that yeah. yes. this is The definition of a special interest. because i have to, must, rotate this object in my head compulsively and purposefully so i can see every angle and crevice. i intuitively understand that i shouldn't be so bowled over and bitchy about it after so many years, sooo many years, but i can't help it! you like what you like and this is the benchmark. it pains me that it is so finite. that i've confusingly hung my heart on something that no one on earth could give one (1) solitary fuck about, and therefor there is an abrupt end to material. so i AM left rotating shapes in my head sussing out indentations in the form. kinda crazy. but fighting against it is maybe more punishing in a way.

this fight was chosen as the opening to the OVA because it's one where everyone is present. this fight was also going to be the entirety of the OVA, but araki liked it so much he requested more episodes 🥰💕

[nonbinarycharmybee]

Eclipse pisses Espio off one too many times and now Espio is OUT FOR BLOOD

"Uh-oh, you made Espio maaad!" Charmy singsonged.

"What are you talking about?" Eclipse rolled his eyes. "He looked fine to me."

"Nah, that was his mad face. He's furious." Vector stood up. "Good luck."

"Good-" he spluttered, nearly falling out of the chair. "What do you mean 'good luck'? What the hell are you saying?"

"You're gonna need it," Charmy snickered. The prospect of Eclipse being in mortal danger delighted him in only the way a six year old full of schadenfraude could be.

Whatever. Eclipse huffed and stomped away from the table (leaving his plate on it. What? If these humans were so desperate to let him into their houses he wasn't going to reward them by doing something as lowly as housework. He wouldn't be fooled into being anyone's servant.)

Espio was in the living room, sitting cross-legged on the floor with an assortment of weapons spread out neatly in front of him. He scraped a knife across a whetstone, making a shh-shh-shhk sound.

Eclipse stepped over a sword and some chain-thing. Espio's head shot up. "Don't touch anything." Shh-shh-shhk.

"Wasn't gonna," Eclipse grumbled. He grabbed the Switch from the charging port and took it to the laundry room, curling up in the warm dryer with his left foot hanging out the door. He started up the game, overwrote Silver's save file, and began a new one.

Beep-beep-beep. Eclipse's tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he focused on jumping over blocks to save a kidnapped princess. (If it was up to him, he'd just leave the princess to her fate, but obviously nobody asked him.) He could hear Silver and Charmy playing tag outside, loudly, with Wade yelling up at them not to fly too high. Espio and Shadow were in the living room, the only sounds from there being the occassional shh-shh-shhk of the knife.

He was halfway through the game when Wade opened the door. "Hey-" he said automatically, then stopped.

"...Are those my clothes?"

Eclipse blinked.

"Right. Sorry I asked." The human backed up and closed the door. Eclipse heard him walking away, mumbling under his breath about needing to make a new cup of coffee before dealing with this. His ear flicked.

He finished the next level. Wade came back to tell him that Vector and Espio and Charmy were going back to their house (he did not care) if he wanted to say goodbye (he did not). They took their baths. Silver got mad at Eclipse for deleting his save file, which ended up in a fight, which ended up in the human taking the Switch away for the rest of the night.

"Can I have it back tomorrow morning?" Silver whined, leaning over the edge of the top bunk.

"We'll see." Wade stood up on his tiptoes, far enough for Silver (with a little telekinetic help) to wrap his arms around his neck and plant a kiss on his cheek. After that he moved down to Shadow.

"Fist bump?"

The black hedgehog looked like he was seriously considering it, then put his hand out. "Night, Dad."

"Night, bud," Wade smiled. He then turned to the closet.

"Good-"

Eclipse slammed the door shut.

"...night."

He curled up on a pile of blankets nested in the corner. The thin light shining under the door went out, leaving him in total darkness. He yawned.

Shh-shhk.

Eclipse bolted up.

Shh-ssh-shhk.

"Hello?" he whispered.

Shh-shh-shhk.

"Shadow? ...Silver? Is that you?"

Shhhhhhk. Now Eclipse was getting mad. "It's not funny, you guys!"

The light flipped on. Soft footsteps pattered out the room, then reappeared with heavier ones moments later. Wade knocked on the door.

"Eclipse? You okay?"

"I'm fine!" he snapped.

"Really? Shadow said you were talking in your sleep...."

"Not sleeping."

"Then what-"

He opened the door slowly. "Not sleeping. There's some...thing in here."

"Yeah, there's an alien," Wade smiled wryly. Eclipse stamped his foot.

"Not me! There's something else!"

"Alright, alright, don't get upset." Wade poked his head in, using his phone's flashlight to scan the darker corners. "...Everything looks fine to me."

Of course the stupid human would say that. Eclipse grit his teeth.

"Maybe it's invisible." Shadow pointed out.

"Or maybe it's a ghost!" Silver cried. "Do you think it's a ghost, Dad? Did anyone die in this house?"

"Uh..." Wade flipped off the light. "If you're scared of ghosts, Eclipse, you're free to sleep anywhere else. Except for my room. And the kitchen. And the table. And...okay, you can sleep on the couch."

Eclipse sniffed haughtily. "I'm not sleeping on the couch."

The closet wasn't an option, though.

He slunk across the floor, shaking his brother. "Shadow-"

"Go away," Shadow grumbled, rolling over.

Well, fine, Eclipse huffed.

He found himself sleeping on the couch.

Although sleeping wasn't quite the right word for it - more like sitting on it wrapped in one of the fluffier blankets from the closet nest. The tv was turned on to some human fighting channel. He watched a heavily-armed person tackling someone on a field of grass and closed his eyes, half-listening to the stream of chatter coming from the commentators.

...Shh-shhk.

His eyes snapped open.

The fighting arena on tv had changed; now everybody was on ice, holding large sticks that they were, for some reason, not hitting or stabbing with. What even were the rules for these tournaments? They seemed very inefficient. The Black Arms would have-

Shk. He jumped, grabbing the remote to turn the tv off, sitting in total darkness and silence.

Shhhhhk.

Wade opened his eyes to see a pair of red ones staring down from the ceiling.

"What the-!"

Eclipse dropped down, bouncing on the mattress a little.

"There's somebody in our house." He informed matter-of-factly.

He rubbed his eyes. "Eclipse, if somebody was in our house, I'd have gotten an alarm about it on my phone."

"Well, your 'phone' must be broken because-."

"Okay," Wade grunted, sitting up like he'd really rather not do this. Mostly because he wouldn't. But he'd gone through similar phases as a kid, and if this finally got the little alien to sleep, then it'd be worth it. "Come with me."

He walked Eclipse through the house, testing the doors and all the windows. Just like he knew, everything was locked tight. Eclipse, however, insisted on checking everything again a second time. Then a third time. Then a-

"I'm not checking everything a fourth time."

Eclipse scowled. "You still don't believe me."

"Sure, sure," he yawned. "You were probably just dreaming. The wind makes strange sounds sometimes...."

"Okay, but if somebody IS in the house, I can kill them, right?"

"Please don't."

"You never said murder was against the house rules," he grumbled.

"I really thought it'd be implied." he yawned again. "Now please. Go to sleep. And don't wake me until after the sun is up."

The noise did not wait for the sun to be up.

Shhk. Shhk.

"What do you want?" he demanded, sitting up on the couch.

Silence.

"Are you a ghost?"

Again, no reply.

"I'll have you know, I'm not scared of-" something cold and metal and sharp pressed to the back of his neck.

"W-"

"Go ahead and call," a voice hissed next to his ear, just as chilling as the knife. "If you think they'll believe you."

"That's...." Eclipse wanted to snap back that that was ridiculous, of course his- the others would believe him.

But Shadow had gotten mad at him. And Wade had told him not to bother him.

He really was alone.

"Well?" The blade pressed deeper, close enough that he could feel the edge digging into his skin. "Have anything to say?"

"I'm sorry, okay! I'm sorry I said your poems were cringe!"

[cidthesquid]

Fashion Dreamer Update-Better than ever! #3

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Quite a bit has changed since my last post.(1/29)

If you've been playing, what do you think Of Fashion Dreamer? *Let me know in the comments!) ...Anyway, Back to my thoughts on the game!

So when I last checked in a few months back, and I mentioned that while I liked the game overall, it felt a bit lite on content. I was also worried that the limited time events or 'fairs' were the only thing keeping the game interesting. Well the game has seen some changes since then, the first of which being adjustments to goals for the fairs:

Previously, each of the tiers would require you to do the same task anywhere from 1-3 times, and with the small handful of task available, This made them feel VERY repetitive,

The newest event has greatly reduced the number of challenges needed for each reward tier, making them much less daunting of a task. I'm sure some would argue this means people can 'speed through them' and complete them too quickly. But honestly, I just see this new setup as more realistic for casual players like me, as before I almost felt forced to through together low effort (or just plain bad) outfits just to meet the goals.

If they wanted to make a compromise, maybe let people run through the task list a second or third time after completion for additional rewards, such as extra outfit recipe items. Iit's kinda silly that we only get 'One' of each of the fair items, it means, they just sit in my inventory unused, as I won't be able to figure out how to decorate my one use rare item. But regardless, I'm still glad to see the game updated with new fair, and new items! (even if 'offline mode' is still very much an afterthought)

---- And for the next big change:

We can Actually save and display our favorite outfits! I forget what this feature is called, but this 'look book' style feature, is really fun. It's not just a great way to store your outfits, but it also remembers what muse was wearing it!

It has different sections, so you can keep things organized, and you can even change the background and pose, making it a great way to show off your various outfits! --- I've been having fun jumping back in from time to time, here are a few of the outfits I've made for others recently:

And I've done a few for my own mues as well:

But yeah, I just wanted to post an update to mention that I'm still really enjoying this game, even if I don't play it a ton. Just as I mentioned last time, it REALLY needs to make offline a viable option for more than just 1-2 hours of fun, but that would be hard with how the game currently designed.

Photo mode, and the photo egg also feel a little restrictive, I really feel like opening up the camera adjustments would really help allow for more creatively. I often find the camera bumping into the ground, or locking rotations, keeping me from getting the shot I want.

And as much as I love the photoEgg it feels like the setting are more locked off than in the standard drone cam. But luckily, all this is stuff that can could be fixed with an update, and they've already shown they're willing to make improvements over time. So I'll keep checking in, and completing fairs, as I've said, this game is not style savvy, and it's not those p2w fashion games you'll find on the app store. This game's emphasis on community is something unique, and I can't wait to see how it evolves over time!

--- Thanks for reading! I had a lot of fun making this, so I hope you had fun reading it as well. As always, all comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome! You literally can't bother me, unless you go out of your way to be a jerk, so post whatever you want to say!

[theshatteredrose]

seriously with how fandoms are these days it makes interacting with them especially anxiety inducing. It's like walking around on eggshells with some of them just waiting for the popular blog to take a dislike toward you and send their little minions to your fix and hound you into leaving

I know that feeling all too well. Not long after I join tumblr, that happened to me, actually.

Yeah, it can feel that way. It can feel as though everyone is waiting to jump down your throat and rip your story apart. I've encountered writers with superior complexes who expects pleps like me to kiss their feet and then throw bitchfits when I don't. I've dealt with readers who believe they are entitled to tell me exactly what to do, and if I don't listen, I'm the latest buzzword. It's easy to focus in on the negatives.

The brain can get a little spicy at times. It really should be called the asshole instead.

But the truth is, the vast, great majority of readers are actually very chill. I'm talking about 98% of readers. They're open to anything and they'll give any story a try. Any story that piques their interest and appears to be properly tagged. Many will give your story a shot, even if it doesn't appear like their cup of tea. If they like it, they'll give a positive response, no problem. If they didn't, they will just back out, no problem.

Only a tiny but loud majority makes it appear that it's a prevalent problem. It isn't.

In truth, readers like to test their boundaries. It's fiction. Despite what the narrow-minded loud mouths claim, it's completely safe. They're in control. They have the ability to continue reading or to stop reading. The vast majority of readers know this.

And, the vast majority of the time, they do this. No problem.

What we as writers need to do, which can be difficult at times, I know, is stop giving these loud-mouths complainers any air. Block them. Ignore them. Do not interact with them as that is exactly what they want.

And, whatever you do, do not reward negative and bad behaviour. Never, ever give these assholes what they want because it will never, ever be enough.

It's important to remember that readers like to escape the world. They like to fantasise. They like to explore. They like to feel. They like to be challenged. They like to have their eyes opened to new possibilities.

But most importantly, they like to be entertained.

And as writers, we like to entertain.

It's easy to get caught up in the fandom drama and politics. It's easy to get lost in all the negatives. Our brains seemed to be hardwired to only concentrate on all of the bad, icky stuff.

So, it's important to remember the positives. We write because we want to. And true readers appreciate everything we do, and, in the end, that is all that matters.

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🍼- July 2024 - Gemini

Singles:

Who is Coming In: 5 Wands rev & The Moon

Regarding: Page of Wands

Long-Term Potential: Justice

Pre-reading: Someone actually started materializing for me when I started your reading, a young (25ish?) female, very slender/fit, white, long straight and kinda mousy brown hair. Then I saw this girl my son loves to watch on YT, Amy Whoa, yelling about her burrito 🌯😆 and heard “Scorpio”. So that’s for someone, you or them idk, I’ve never gotten anything super specific like that about a person before. I’m also not sure if the reading is related or if it’s a separate message to pass along.

Once the reading started, it’s a similar vibe, could be describing this person for whoever that’s for. Or it’s just expressing this person as kind of a goofball 🤪Page of Wands has a spunky and fiesty young energy, they’re up for anything, always have fun ideas, very chatty and tend to have a great sense of humor. You have some reservations or hesitations, possibly because you’re fresh out of something else, you could’ve even been living with another person or married before. So you’re not too eager to jump into anything, and this person is kind of a wild card - but you love their energy as much as it makes you nervous. There’s a lot of fire here and I heard Sco., they’ve got as much spunk as they do intensity, and as much warmth as they do genuine depth - but initially their big personality may make you pause for a bit, unsure. You may wonder if they’re immature, but the Page isn’t reversed. They’re just fun and think things are funny, probably don’t take life that seriously and enjoy things moment to moment.

Spirit wants you to give this a shot and quit doubting. Date shows this could be someone you haven’t even talked to yet, you just look at their picture on a dating site and wonder if you should - answer is YES. I’m also seeing that where other options or people are concerned, once this person enters, it’s an easy choice and there is no competition. Is it forever? I don’t know. Long-term is being shown as it’s helping you move on from someone else, an ex, a tough divorce, someone that kept/keeps lingering in your energy and bed until this person shakes all of that up - with fun 🤩 Breathes life back into your life. They could live at a distance from you, enough to where it’s a journey to see them (30+ miles), or it’s just emotionally distant, you may not have said anything yet or swiped them, maybe you’ve only seen their goofball and not what’s underneath yet - but you’re being encouraged to give it a real shot ♥️

Messages:

- I want to grow with you.

- At a Distance

DATE 🥂

- Get Back Out There

- Meeting Someone New

- Setting a Date

- Date Online

Clear Mind 🧘‍♂️

Sweep away any doubts that you have and know that you are right.

Worth the Effort 🥇

Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, knowing your dedication will lead to rewarding discoveries.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Scorpio, Aries, Leo & Sagittarius 🔥

Couples:

Them: Ace of Swords rev, 3 Pentacles rev, Justice rev

Regarding: 10 Wands

You’re coming up as the issue in this connection, and I’m feeling third party energy with you, like your head isn’t really in *this*, it’s somewhere else - with someone else. There is a lot this person doesn’t say to you, because it wouldn’t come out nicely and I don’t get them being a vicious sort of person. They’re thinking it though, it’s a quiet burn. They feel you don’t put in any effort to cooperate with them, you’re not a team player and just kinda leave it all on them, they’re left holding the bag. It seems effort oriented: work, cooking, cleaning, mowing the yard, fixing the sink, whatever the thing - everything is on them and it’s a lot. They feel snide towards you because they feel it’s unfair for you to be this way, and you could be over here with other options not really paying attention. Or leading them along when you have no real desire to commit to this long-term. It doesn’t feel like a relationship that’s fully invested, more like this person was willing, you’re not really, you’re both going through the motions but they’re about to jump ship because it’s exhausting for them 🛳️ I’m hearing “there’s got to be more than this.” It’s too much for them, whatever is going on here.

Messages:

- Blaming You 💯

- Facial Hair 🧔‍♂️

CUPID’S ARROW 💘

- Have Faith

- Love is Coming

- Surprise Invitation

- Struck by Love

Turn the Page 📃

Embrace new chapters with curiosity. Openness paves the path to wisdom.

You: King of Cups, 2 Pentacles rev, Knight of Swords

Regarding: 8 Wands rev

You don’t have great cards, it’s being shown you’re lying to yourself and also this person. Whoever the ex is, was probably someone you’ve trauma bonded with or something was painful for a long time, you’re still stuck on them. Thinking about them all the time. Probably wanting them back, wondering what they’d think about xyz, I’m hearing “they’re the voice in your head” - and the Blink 182 song “Miss You” followed, which they don’t want me to post because this person is not good for you and there’s a reason it’s over. The message of not being the only one they’ve played - that’s the ex, not this person. Or maybe you, for the crosswatcher.

Does that mean you’re a bad person, no. I don’t even think you do it on purpose, and there’s a lot you’re not saying to this person as well. This person that likely has no idea who you really are, who you’re dating for some reason. This is like the leftover effects from something traumatic, possibly an intense karmic, or you’re still having to learn the lessons from that last connection before you can really give your all to this one…which needs to be kinda soon because this person is up to their neck in frustration thinking you aren’t giving or showing what you *say* you have for them. Or allude to. Love, emotions, romance, etc.

Messages:

- I don’t know what love is.

- You’re not the only one they’ve played.

MASK 🎭

- Hiding True Feelings

- Pretending & Delude

- Gaslight & Personify

Going Forward 🚦

Don’t dwell on the past, but focus on creating a brighter future.

Mutual: King of Pentacles rev, The Lovers, 7 Cups rev

Regarding: The Hanged Man

Both of you are perceiving you as greedy: Them, because you’re leaving them to handle life, finances maybe, they could be feeling used or taken advantage of; and You because you know this isn’t the fair thing to do, or you know you’re hanging onto one of these people just because you don’t want to be alone - particularly the ex. Not being able to let go. That’s exactly what needs to be done, one of them. Both? If you want to stay addicted to the ex, let this person go and go do that 🙏 Otherwise this person is looking at you like time is running out and if you truly value them (I’m hearing “like you say you do”) then they need to see it, because they’re looking towards a new beginning somewhere else like it could be better than this, and not so much pressure on them. Death rev shows something isn’t over, it’s just which thing is it that you’re going to decide - it’s a clean cut from the other one no matter which it is. The Hanged Man shows a serious need for some perspective shift, see this the way an outsider would, or a friend *you’re* advising. What would you tell them? I’m seeing it’s open for you to decide whatever you want, free will, but Spirit is trying to encourage letting the toxic past go - they can’t make you though it’s a karmic thing - it’s like “you’ll learn eventually” either way. Or you could choose to consciously move on, which can’t be anything but positive from what I’m seeing.

ADDICTION 💊

- Codependent

- Obsession & Restraint

- Possession & Control

- Emotional Block

Stand Strong 💪

With defense as your shield, find strength in preservation, guarding what matters most.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Scorpio, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Gemini & Pisces

[afr0-thunder]

[Poor Chronicles Pt. 41]

Topics: Work (Vacation)/Chicago vs. CPD/Photography/Vocabulary/Girls/Super Bowl/SEXI (Final Update Pt. 2)/Phoenix “Theory”

Week 1 of my work “vacation” is complete. I am not scheduled for this entire holiday season. This may have been one of the only weeks I’ve had off since I had started.

I was almost murdered by the police for ignoring their “greeting” and being identified as someone holding a firearm. It was a visual misunderstanding. Still, he pulled his gun on me and I was not entertained. Will not elaborate any further.

I took some more pictures, my Ralph Lauren Polo sweater is actually more intriguing than I had initially thought.

I will be referring to my housing design as an “assortment”. I want a 50-story assortment so that my promiscuous wenches must go through multiple levels of physical activity before fucking me. Showers on the 47th floor. For example, “wife” #1 must complete a video of 10 three point shots, 1 min of jump role (freestyling), obstacle course with barbed wire (Jokes. Possibly. I like crazy women). First woman to the top, no reward. Just fucking. I don’t want the others to get jealous, but she was first and this ideally shouldn’t take the same amount of time for them all, so it shouldn’t even be an issue on finishing first (for them). Not like if I did…sexually. Like who makes it to me first…because it’s not a race, so they won’t finish near eachother in time, as I only have one dick in my arsenal. How would I start fucking 50 bitches at once? A bit of a friendly fire on myself for the “finishing first” originally. But nonetheless (anyways), unless I make my room door transparent… should I just make them come join? Do I make them edit it and put it all together. If they have time. DON’T. BE. LATE! Class is in session *yard stick slam on the desk* (All jokes). Timed? 30 mins or less, if task based not speed based. Effort based? Like “punitive” measures for intentional slacking/decrease in quality? I will obviously do mine as well. I may do timed 30 minute sessions for myself as well for hobbies such as sketching to say sharp. There may be a hot tub or even a pool on my level. A large TV! First done can pick today’s show or movie. Watch whatever show in the meantime. Or update others as they come if you don’t choose an [appetizer show]. Paused? Or maybe it’d just keep getting stopped from someone new always entering the room and become a big group discussion. Once a week. I forgot they’d have to have jobs and have to travel a lot so I can’t make them do it ALL week. Can I? They may have time. It depends. Can’t complete a level? That’s okay. Ends at 2:00pm. We’ll have those digital clocks with the red numbers, so everybody knows what floor and hour they are on. Make it tomorrow’s whole day goal. If met early, complete other tasks from previous day (for daily fitness/exercise). Until you can complete the circuit by 2:00pm, don’t set a new goal. (This would be a great reality show, but I don’t want cameramen, have any interest in entertainment as far as movies/television and I could potentially do this naked. Why would I record obstacle course porn?).

The Ravens continue to reign dominant. Lamar Jackson is a spectacular Super Bowl champion versus the Dallas Cowboys. The Philadelphia Eagles will be there though. Obliterated the Dolphins for that 28 point comeback last year. I like Tua, but damn Lamar did him dirty.

I have decided to reduce the number of baby mommas. I said I would never speak to SEXI again, last year in 2022, for my own personal reasons. She responded to the direct message from the other day and said “Thanks” with a crying laughing emoji. I said she looked “sexy”. I’m about to leave this bitch on read for life. I, however, elect to resume fucking up people’s lives. I will not fuck up hers in any fashion. As long as she holds this fumble in. Otherwise, they will make fun of her.

Your pathways from birth until death carrying every breath you take, following your every step. New cells are created, hair sheds, skin sheds, blood, sweat and tears, saliva shed. One day, they will all follow along the same path as the airways and in the perfect moment will all come together and you will rise again as phoenixes do. Everything you once were will all come back together long after your death and you will rise once more. If you hate your being, you will continue to pollute the airways and deteriorate your natural being through practices such as drug consumption and heavy eating.

I have more thoughts, but time to smoke.

- MH (2023)

[12/31/2023 - 7:59PM]

[humansun]

HAPPY JUUUUULY!

Written July 1st, 2023 at 6:40AM

The world allows me to live another day. Fate and destiny have determined that yesterday was not my last day to existing. I am hoping to live a very rich life until I am very old.

Ripe. A word that helps me process the difficulties and adversity that comes with my creative journey. Learning how to affirm that my creative ideas have worth and value has been rewarding in a small, but mighty kind of way.

This morning, I got to wake up on a Saturday to claim my morning and take the time to meditate. I took my morning back from whatever messages, calls, people that I usually want to serve and poured it into me and what my needs were. My needs were to declutter my rom, meditate and find my morning peace, and take the time to write in this document to exercise my writing and also reflect on the past day or two.

Something I find majestic and special is seeing animals in the wild that I do not often see. It does not happen often, but seeing deer or stray cats are always a day brightener. It’s a reminder that we live in a beautiful, diverse world of all kinds of beings. The animal I wish to see one day is an owl, but it’s understandable if we don’t have overlapping schedules.

To reflect on the past week, there has been an intense push. I’ve been pressing the gas when it comes to being Associate Producer on New Wave and it’s been a good type of rough! Not like working at a huge company draining, but giving myself the space and time to recuperate before drafting 10 more emails.

In terms of what’s been happening politically, there was that one submarine that imploded a couple weeks ago, but affirmative action has also been shot down by the Supreme Court. I don’t know all the details, but I know that affirmative action was what made the difference between significant percentages in minority communities being accepted into higher education.

It’s a painful thing to witness, our government working backwards, even if it all does make sense in the grand scheme of American history. However, I am positive it won’t be like this forever, and we’ll keep working towards a different world. Just because our youth every year becomes more progressive and one day, that youth will become the old people voting, which will continue to be more open each year.

The things that have been at the top of my mind include my storyline that I’m building to shoot but also the short treatment I need to add in my applications. I’ve been reflecting on where I’m at financially and how taking a long, well-deserved break from working full-time has been providing me fruit for thought. I also think financially I’m in a decent place. It’s not the worst, but it’s not the best. 

I’m learning that doing my best in every avenue for life should always be applauded - at least by myself. It gives me to the affirmation and recognition that I am only one human being, that I have flaws, and that the only thing that I could really do is my best. Especially when it comes to handling mom’s health documents and preparation for the future surgeries.

Yesterday, I got to experience pole dancing for the first time. I learned that I love trying out new things, even if they’re scary. The thought of jumping into the ocean at the crack of dawn during winter quarter of senior year sounded intimidating, but going head first into something even if it brings a certain level of anxiety is what pays off for me. Because I always learn that it’s not that bad after doing it. That I actually would go back and do it all over again. And that’s awesome.

There is some level of homeostasis that has come after a few months of subconsciously ruminating on my time in Vietnam. I have found a level of peace and happiness in the ant-infested house that I live in, with the people around me. There is no day or week or month that is perfect, but there is beauty in every realm of my life. 

I am immensely grateful for all the resources I have been blessed, the people in my life who teach me and cherish me, and for all the experiences I have had and have yet to have as I continue down this courageous road to creative discovery and liberation. I am indeed excited for what is to come, even if it doesn’t make the most sense to me. Doing scary things is good! I need to keep doing scary things!