#and the situation is yes being handled very publicly and it didn't have too

[lover-of-mine]

.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for talking about my fights with my partner with other people?

I (18M) and my partner (17NB) have been together for a couple of years now. Like most couples, we've had our fair share of fights, some of them very serious. I have a problem with paranoia over if I'm doing the right thing or not, because I have trouble understanding right and wrong unless I've been through a situation myself or had the morality of it very heavily explained to me. Because of this, during several of our heavier fights, I would go to people that I trusted and show them the conversation from beginning to end through screenshots (me and my partner are long distance at the moment, so most of our fights have been over text), and ask them if I was alright or I was being a dick.

However, over time, this caused most of the people I was close to to hate my partner. Several of them believed my partner was abusive or at least toxic because of the fights they saw, and at least one was outright violently angry towards them, publicly making a post about wanting to hurt them (I apologized to my partner for this, and asked repeatedly that this person take the post down, made it very clear I wasn't okay with that, but they kept it up anyways.)

I tried to change their opinions by highlighting positive things about them, and repeatedly making clear the things I knew I had done wrong to them so it was clear any toxicity wasn't one-sided (please don't even try to question if I was really bad or anything like that. Had it happen before. Yes what I did was actually wrong. I have apologized and been working on it for a long time now, and debating if it was really wrong will not be helpful or wanted.) But even so, even now, everyone who knew even parts of me and my partners problems still hate them.

My partner has made clear to me that this hurt them. It made them feel isolated, and very alone. Because I had people backing me up and people to talk to, and those people hated them, while they didn't have access to therapy (which I also had at the time, and also do now) or people to talk to about it at the time.

I've apologized for that, and long since stopped telling anyone about our fights or problems. Partially because I found out it was hurting them, and partially because a few months after I had started doing that in the first place, things took a turn for the worse in our relationship and I always either didn't feel comfortable showing people what was happening anymore, or when I did, I ended up being asked to stop by the people I spoke to because what was going on was too heavy and often triggering for them to handle, which I respected. I also didn't have access to therapy for a while because I had just made a major move and my old therapist wasn't licensed to treat people in the area I'd moved to.

However, more recently, I opened up to both my therapist and my mother about everything that happened. Unlike with before, both of them got the full story, from the start of our relationship to now. I made sure to include everything I had done wrong (that I either figured out on my own or my partner told me about, I do worry that there's other things that I don't even know about yet) so that I didn't paint myself in a better light than reality. My therapist cried when I told her. Not full on crying or sobbing, but I could see the tears in her eyes the entire session. My mother was very angry. Both of them think it's for the best we break up. My therapist agreed it's toxic, which I know it still is, although I've been doing my best to make the relationship more healthy over time. She didn't outright say the words, but when I told her what my mother had to say about it, it was clear that she agreed with her that it was abusive. She wasn't angry the way my mother was, or as insistent about me breaking up with them, but she didn't think this relationship or this person in general was healthy towards me.

My mother, however, was almost violently angry. There was several parts of the story where she clenched her fists or had to pause to calm down. On top of that, when I brought up my partners disorder (it was heavily relevant to a large part of the story, as knowing they had it was necessary to really explain what happened for many parts of it), she started repeatedly telling me that she believed they're faking to manipulate me, and that "based on her years of research that wasn't how the disorder worked" (her "years of research" was an introductory college psych class over a decade ago, which barely mentions the disorder in question, so I don't trust that at all). This made me worry even more that I was being an asshole by sharing this, because I know firsthand how much it sucks to have someone not believe you about your own mental health. Not to mention, I have a similar disorder myself, so it felt wrong the way she talked about their disorder (I brought this up but she said it was different and she believes me, just not them. I'm pretty sure that's mostly because I'm diagnosed, and they aren't, due to not being able to get therapy). She also wouldn't believe they didn't have access to therapy because they live in a place with free healthcare, and didn't seem to understand that doesn't always apply to mental healthcare, especially when they're a minor and their parent won't get them therapy even when asked.

However, the reactions from both my mother and my therapist has made me start to question if telling people about our fights was really an asshole move in the first place. On the one hand, I know it hurt them, and that I hurt them in other ways on top of that. But on the other, if even middle aged adults, including one with a psychology degree, think it's so bad on their end, maybe telling them was a good thing. I don't want anyone to hate my partner, especially not when I know I was also toxic towards them and I don't feel like it's fair to treat them like they're so much worse than me, especially when my partner has said to me that I abused them (this was also shared to mother + therapist). But the way these recent events have gone have left me confused, and feeling like a giant asshole towards my partner all over again. So am I one for this?

What are these acronyms?

[icanseethefuture333]

whats the tea on if jyp really did stop chan from doing his live? then chan hinted he can actually do what he wants on bubble when it blew up on stay twitter? in quite a passive aggressive manner 👀

"Oh um... I mean cus I can't do Chan's room anymore so um- I know, I want to react to it but company says no, sorry, yeah."

Before I shuffle... I honestly believe this was going to happen after Chan vented in his last "Chan's Room" when he said a rookie group didn't bow to them when they walked past nor greeted them with respect and chose not to acknowledge them. Chan was 100% right for being upset. Everyone knows in Korea that honorifics is a big deal there, so to disrespect your seniors at work / elders in general, it's really bad on whoever that group was. However, the way he handled it was really irresponsible. To state publicly without saying who the group even was and leaving it to his fans to spectaculate, he didn't take in consideration on how his fans were gonna react afterwards. He should know that Kpop fans in general are very defensive and protective over their idols, they will always go to the extreme, so him being upset at their behavior (for example, Stays attacking IVE and assuming they were the group that didn't show Stray kids respect by bowing, when there was no fucking proof it was them). It's like... What do you expect? Then now, he said the company won't allow him to do "Chan's Room" anymore (probably because he said too much and caused so much uproar). Then fans showed up at the JYP building to protest for Chan to be allowed again to do "Chan's Room" again and Chan complained on Bubble that they're not helping the situation. So really the point of all of this of what I'm trying to say is, that Chan just needs to acknowledge that this is his fault in a way. He should be able to speak his truth, but he is not in a position or industry or in a company, where that is even allowed. Chan knows how strict they are over there. If he was like a Korean hip hop artist or from an independent label, it wouldn't matter then what he says. Or let's say he was in a group like KARD for example, BM is known for saying whatever the hell he wants, but he can do that because he is not under a prestigious company, he's popular but everyone knows KARD is considered a nugu group. So either Bang Chan sucks it up and accept this is the consequences of his own actions and if he continues to behave this way, it's gonna keep causing controversy or negative attention on him.

Channeled song: Under Pressure by Queen ft. David Bowie

"Pressure coming down on me"

First things first... To confirm on what the actual truth is here... It's a yes that JYP is not allowing Chan to do "Chan's Room" anymore. They are not happy with him, he is also not happy with them. Bang Chan lost the fight, he lost the battle on being able to keep doing "Chan's Room", which caused a big argument. So there's a lot of conflict going on. Now... To figure out why he's been so adamant about speaking his mind is because he wants change. Bang Chan just really wants change it seems. I feel like he doesn't like how much he's being controlled in some aspects. Chan wanted more freedom and have the ability to be closer to his fans. I honestly believe that "Chan's Room" was therapeutic in a way for him. It gave him the space to express himself and put himself more in the spotlight with The Star card. He felt the interactions with his fans were more pure and genuine. I also think that Bang Chan felt like he had more people in his circle when he did the lives? It made him feel like he had more "friends" it seems. He could have been feeling very lonely, so by doing "Chan's Room" it gave him comfort. Dare I say he's been kind of acting "delulu"? Like he's deluding himself into think he has this connection and friendship with his fans. When it is not like that and it's more of a parasocial relationship. Then when stays behave and react to his words, it's like he remembers all of a sudden he's a leader of a group, not their friend. So it's like he acts like a parental figure for them and scolds them when they do something bad, but also it's that Chan kind of snaps out of it and realizes that his fans can't be his friends that he's wanting so badly. So when they cross the boundaries, he gets mad. When really, he's just mad at the situation behind scenes, and he's also really mad at himself. Bang Chan is upset at the lack of control he feels, he has a lot of fucking leg room in comparison to other idols, we all know that, let's be honest, but - outside of his job, Chan just feels he can't voice his mind, his feelings, and how he wants friends, he wants a family, he wants a partner, etc. So I feel like he enjoys being a idol, of course, but like most idols he is upset at the lack of ability to be honest and form stable relationships. For how he feels about "Chan's Room" being canceled, Chris is very sad about it with the Three of Water reversed. He feels like he lost the one thing where he has an outlet. Where he was able to celebrate and find joy or comfort. I asked if "Chan's Room" could ever come back, I got The Empress so it's a yes. Chris could tell someone in his company who is very nurturing towards him and he goes to them for advice or love. So this person feels like a "2nd mom" to him and if he tells them how much this means to him, then they will be able advocate for him to get him to do the lives again. But that is a smaller aspect of what this card means. I feel there is something much bigger here? Everything has been such a chain reaction and Bang Chan has been wanting change, so he's getting it now. He will find something else that will be more emotionally fulfilling and make him happy. It will be something that's creative and allow him to pursue a new passion. I am unsure what exactly that thing is ... but it will be good for him :)! The outcome for Chan overall is the Mother of Air. Bang Chan is gonna receive more power and clarity from this situation. I believe the person I mentioned earlier could help him with this. They could be a senior idol or someone he worked with at JYP. I'm being reminded of Sunmi honestly or someone who is connected to Sunmi, perhaps a former member of Wonder Girls as well? I know that Yeeun and Yubin were also air signs since Sunmi is a Taurus (Yeeun also known now as Ha:tfelt is a Gemini and Yubin is a Libra). This is interesting, I would like to see how this artistic endeavor pans out.

For clarification cards, I got Ace of Earth and Ace of Air. So Chan is aware that this is the consequences of his own actions lol. He just has to get over his ego first. He will find stability and figure out how to be more grounded with his emotions in the future. There will be a business opportunity presented to him that he's gonna take. Perhaps he will sign a new legal contract with this earth and air combination (I'm being reminded of the energy of the members from Wonder Girls again. Since two members were earth signs and the other two were air signs). If Chan has more patience, he can overcome this burden he's been feeling and will be able to attract more prosperity once he heals and connects to his higher self. There could also be something that will happen to him, that will be similar to what happened to Wonder Girls. Or it could just mean they will be a mentor for him or be considered an inspiration.

Channeled song: Why So Lonely? by Wonder Girls

"Baby why I'm so lonely

I'm so desperate, but you're not

Baby no, my heart

I don't know when you will leave me (Tell me why)

What are they? Your feelings

What are they? I love you so much

But I hate this suffocating feeling"

[hanniejji]

I saw the other Lil phoenix brainrot and was like, what if lil phoenix was publicly humiliated in Mondstadt (Kaeya quickly went in a store to get lil phoe a drink so ye) and Diluc witnessed it, cause he was in the vicinity. What would he do?

Ehe anon, i will bring another brainrot later ehehe

i think at times like these, diluc's father instincts would jump right out along with some... personal feelings involved, because there is no way that he'd allow anyone to talk like that to phoenix. sure he hasn't been a good father to them, but he won't let others lay a single hand on phoenix, not even talk to them in that manner.

also, there's no guarantee that diluc would pull out his claymore because he's not calm in any way right now.

damn im having so many ideas for the phoenix fic that im planning to write aaaaahhh. a smol blurb for y'all :>

"and who are you to speak to them like that?"

"f-father!" your head whip back to look behind you, eyes gazing up to the very man you've been trying to reach out for the longest time now.

it was supposed to be a quick errand, a quick walk, a peaceful day for you and your uncle kaeya on his rare day off. you've just came from good hunter, eating lunch with kaeya, before setting home. but your uncle claimed to have something for you, so he went away for a while to buy something.

the moment he turned his back, you felt it.

the stares from everyone. they were watching you closely, you won't be surprised if they start talking about you to their peers, criticizing you as if they know you so well. and soon enough, a brave soul spoke.

it's a pitiful sight, really. a grown man staring down at a child no older than seven (7) as if you massacred his whole lineage.

you could've handled it on your own, honestly. you've learned to talk back without sounding improper to situations like this, being around kaeya too much taught you that these kinds of people aren't the type to back down if you don't put them in their place. you've seen how diluc talk his way around business men who knew nothing but to leech off of others, people who are all talk but lacks the brain to act. those meetings were boring, but if diluc wanted you to be there then who are you to refuse?

you didn't expect that diluc himself would be around to hear this man humiliate you in front of others.

"s-sir ragnvindr!"

diluc has a deep frown on his face and you can see his hands clenched into a fist beside him.

oh... wait. he must've been embarrassed to see me like this.

your face fell at the thought, gazing down at the pavement of the street, biting the inside of your cheeks to compose yourself. everyone else's opinions are insignificant, but if there's a person you don't want to disappoint, it's your father.

i must've look pitiful for him to intervene.

"just who do you think you are to talk to my child like that, hm? under what circumstances are you allowed to speak as if you know phoenix so well," diluc almost spat venom towards the sweating man in front of you, every step he take closer felt like the ground was rising in temperature. diluc was like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode on this pathetic man trembling under the gaze of the uncrownd king of mondstadt.

my?... child?...

your eyes blew wide, your mouth itching to say something but you must look like a gaping fish out of its own pond. the words were stuck in your throat, building up like vile but unable to speak up. just when he stood right next to you did you snap from your thoughts, feeling a warm hand rest on the top of your head.

it felt unfamiliar, yet it put you in so much ease.

"oh! i was just, um," the stranger's hand went up to scratch at the back of his neck, "i was just joking around!"

"oh really?" diluc took a step closer to the man, his hand leaving a lingering warmth on your head that you wished didn't go away.

wait... is that—is that a claymore!?

"eh!?" you watched him raised his claymore right next to the trembling man's teary face, "f-father wait—"

"now, now, phoenix," an eerily cold hand rest upon your shoulder, prompting you to look up to see your uncle's amused face watching the scene unfold. "let the adults do their thing."

"uncle kaeya!"

he sends you a wink, merely patting your head before looking onwards. he seemed to not care that he's the cavalry captain who's supposed to stop whatever your father's going to do but...

"let me make this crystal clear for you so people like you would understand, i am far from joking around," diluc lowered his claymore down, strucking the edge to the ground. he seemed to speak in a higher volume too, as if he intends to make everyone hear whatever he's about to say. "no one has the right to talk to my child like that—" you feel your heart burst in happiness at hearing those words, "—you're a grown man, who are you to treat a child like that in the first place? what are you? some pathetic high status man who boast about his riches to children? that's just ridiculous and childish."

"if you're going to criticize phoenix, then i advice you look at yourself in the mirror," diluc tilted his chin up as if to degrade this man with just his stare, "you think you're oh so great and whatnot, i bet my phoenix can do so much better than you."

your hands went up to cover your gaping mouth, gasping along with the crowd of people that were gathered around to witness one of the rare moments that diluc loses his composure, if he even loses his composure at all.

my phoenix.

you can feel the onslaught of tears building up behind your eyes, your heart leaping out from your chest to scream out. you haven't lived long yet, but he had never been like this when it comes to you oh he has, he just doesn't show it. sure, he always addressed you as his child when meeting business acquaintances and peers, but never with such pride and... love.

kaeya looks down when he hears your quiet sniffling, smiling fondly at the way you try to discretely wipe your tears, feeling extremely at ease at the certain sparkle in your eyes that he had never seen before.

"i will say this one more time and i don't care how many times i have to repeat it until your brains understand," diluc's claymore disappeares as he turns to walk back to you. he settles a hand on your shoulder before looking right at the crowd of people.

"no one is allowed to ever talk like that to my phoenix. even if you do so without my knowledge, believe me when i say that i will know of it once and for all."

"oh, don't worry," kaeya speaks up, "i'll make sure you do~."

diluc gently nudges you to walk forward, his hand still on your shoulder as he walks towards the gates of mondstadt with kaeya on his heels, his jaw still clenched and grumbling under his breath.

"that's quite a spectacle you put out there huh," kaeya teased once the three of you are a few distances away from the gate.

"shut up," your father sneered, "and in what way did you think that leaving phoenix out there is okay!?"

"i can't exactly bring them inside cat's tail!" kaeya raises both his hand in defense, "besides, i was supposed to buy them the special nonalcoholic drink that cat's tail was serving. it won't be much of a surprise if i take them with me, right?"

as if on cue, he hands you a cup of something cool and baby blue in color, patting your head when you mumbled your gratitude.

"still, that's careless! what if someone tried to abduct them on spot?"

"what do you suggest i do then?" you didn't know how it was possible, but kaeya's smirk seemed to have turned a little more smug, "oh i know! maybe you should start taking them out for a walk yourself. you know, something that normal fathers would do to their child? that way, you could monitor their safety instead of wallowing in self pity."

"why you—!"

you couldn't help the giggle that escaped your throat, lips pursed together to stop the bubbling laughter from escaping your mouth. the two brothers turn their heads to look at you in surprise, both having not heard you giggle since you were a toddler.

"uh," you turn away to hide the embarrassed look on your face, deciding to walk ahead of them and sipping on the cup. "i'm feeling a little tired. can we head home?"

"of course," diluc answers in a heartbeat, his mind running miles and miles in a few seconds.

you sounded so much like your mother just now, he thought as he walks behind, mental images of your mother's delighted face flashing before his eyes.

it's safe to say that you cherished this rare moment close to your heart.

[purplesurveys]

1839

What were you doing at 10:30 this morning? I was at Sunday mass sweating my ass off.

Is there anyone else in the room with you? It would just be me and the wrestling match that's playing in the background.

If you married the last male you spoke to, what would your initials be? RM, funnily enough.

What did you have for lunch today? I had looooooots of sushi and looooooots of sashimi. It was my cousin's 20th birthday and my mom wanted to treat our extended family to lunch, so to a Japanese restaurant we went.

In your phone, who is the first contact listed under ‘L’? Laurice :)

How old is he/she? She's 25 this year.

What colour are your father’s eyes? Dark brown.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? Guy.

What’s the 9th song on your iTunes “Recently Played” list? I haven't used iTunes since the first half of high school.

What colour are the eyes of the last male you text messaged? I bet they're dark brown as well because everyone I talk to is Filipino anyway.

Who is the first contact in your phone? What colour is his/her hair? A work contact; black.

How many tracks were on the last album you listened to? Hope on the Street has six songs on it.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My mom, I guess? She rarely does it nowadays though. I do have a relative on my mom's side who once tried to embarrass me publicly by invalidating/questioning my profession, so I'll count him.

Is there a song you can listen to over and over and never get fed up? That would be Closer by RM, ft. Mahalia.

Do you have a friend whose name begins with ’H’? Describe him/her. Hannah! I was closer with her in college and we barely talk now, but she's the kind of friend that you'll...always just kinda have a soft spot for, so I love her all the same. She's very nice and can be cheeky in a very endearing and lovable way if she wants to, and a terrific singer.

Are there any songs in your iTunes library that you’ve never listened to? Don't use iTunes anymore.

So, how are you? Is there anything wrong? I'm okay. I had a terrific 6-day break that I spent running errands and having an extremely productive Wrestlemania marathon, but this Sunday evening I'm winding things down with surveys so I can be relaxed and calm for when I come back to work tomorrow.

How do you handle awkward situations? It definitely depends on the situation, but a safe go-to is to just use my phone and pretend to look occupied.

Who is the most intelligent person you know? Hans, my dad, Andi. Couldn't pick just one.

Who was the last female you were introduced to? Not too sure...it may have been someone related to work. I meet so many people everyday hahaha.

What was your first impression of her? I can't even remember the person haha, sorry!

Who was the last male you were introduced to? ^ Same.

What was your first impression of him? ^ Saaaame same same.

Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter 'F’. "Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making FAJITAS!"

Do you have a close friend of the opposite sex? Yes.

Would you ever consider being more than friends with them? Hell no, he feels much like a brother-in-law at this point lol.

Who is the 8th contact in your phone? Is he/she in a relationship? A work contact who's actually a pretty well-known/established local actor; I have his number as I needed to work with him for a brand I used to manage. He's married.

If you could travel back in time, which year would you go to? I'd love to have been present and conscious for Wrestlemania 17, which took place in 2001.

When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? I don't frequently make sandwiches but the last time I had one was two Saturdays ago. I had a(n overpriced) Monte Cristo.

What were you like as a 12 year old? Just as much of a dramatic rebel you'd imagine an angsty 12 year old to be. I fantasized running away and cutting off my family, having tattoo sleeves, and was still busy being the problem child/black sheep of the family. Wrestling was what kept me sane at the time, as it was impossible for me to make friends in school.

What colour are the eyes of the last female you text messaged? Dark brown.

When you woke up this morning, what kind of mood were you in? A little sad since I realized it was Sunday already.

Are you hungry? Craving any food in particular? No. I had so much sushi earlier and still feel full that tbh I don't mind not eating til tomorrow.

In the past week, how many times have you cried? Once, but it was all good tears cause I was just crying over a wrestling match and how nicely-done the storytelling was told lol. For anyone who would care - Warrior vs. Savage, Wrestlemania 7.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being amazing), how good is life atm? 7.5.

[enlogs]

RADIO ROMANCE 🎧 - PARK SUNGHOON

synopsis: you would be lying if you said you didn't feel anything for your best friend sunghoon. he's well-spoken, amazing with kids, knows how to figure skate, and good at literally everything.. well, except maybe realizing that you have feelings for him. maybe that's why he can only sit there and turn red when an anonymous voice shows him affections via the campus radio's confession hotline.

“I worry for you, YN.” You shudder at the sudden sound of an intruder, the voice breaking the silence that fell over your office. Lee Heeseung. Of course. When was he not the answer to all your Sunghoon related prayers? If there was someone in your life that seemed to be truly sane, it would have to be him.

The door must’ve left slightly ajar, you assume, given that Heeseung was able to enter so silently.

“Hey, Mr. Therapist In Need of Therapy Himself,” you say as you finally make eye contact with him. “Need something?”

Heeseung shakes his head. “Just worried. Are.. Are you sure you can handle seeing him tonight? It’s unlike me to encourage mingling your personal feelings with your work feelings, but you can’t keep living like a robot on auto pilot.”

“Calm down. It’s only been a few hours since hell broke loose. Besides,” you sigh. “I’m not going to suddenly stop.”

Heeseung seems amused at your words. Ultimately, you know he’s not surprised. Mad? No, not at all. Disappointed? Maybe. Your heart is set on freeing these emotions, anyways, and Heeseung knows that nothing can stop you once you have your heart set on something. It’s the same driving factor that’s kept you so close to Sunghoon.

Maybe the urge to confess was a recent development, but your emotions towards the boy certainly weren't. The universe did grant you luck after all. Lucky enough to have gotten into the same University as Sunghoon after spending your youths together, lucky enough to even have a few of the same prerequisite classes with identical professors.

But not lucky enough for him to not regret finally reaching a turning point in your relationship.

“I’m not surprised. In fact, I’m proud of you. I know I’ve been extremely neutral during this entire.. Situation.. But I really do care for you. I just want you to make the best decision for yourself without very many external factors.

“Yes, it’s great that you’re also considering what Sunghoon feels, and I want you to keep that mindset, but ultimately, if you feel like confessing publicly is what you want, then I can’t stop you. I know you like to see him blush. His reactions to your letters must make your day, huh?” Heeseung’s monologue is delivered with a teasing grin to bring it to an end. He reaches to ruffle your hair–an action you are too slow to intercept with a smack of your hand.

“Thanks for the insight, Dad,” you say. “Seriously, Hee, I appreciate all of your help. Plus the fact that you took me out so I could clear my head—I don’t know what to say. It’s been so overwhelming.”

Heeseung nods his head, wordless. His face says it all. There are no more words to be exchanged. After a short silence, he extends his free arm out for a hug.

When you finally go to reciprocate, leaning your head on his chest, the door is loudly swung open.

“Hey, YN, I wanna talk about our conversation. I think there was a misunderstanding between us and—oh.”

It’s Sunghoon.

He looks crestfallen. A look of jealousy, maybe scorn (but to whom?), then nothing at all. But at what? What did he look so upset for?

“Sorry, I, uhm. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys,” Sunghoon’s eyes fly around the room as if he doesn’t want to look at you and Heeseung being so close. A platonic action that could definitely be misinterpreted as something more. “Shit, this is awkward because I’m making it awkward. I’ll just come back later. Sorry.” He shuffles out of the office. A few seconds later, you hear the sound of his shoes hitting the ground increase frequency, as if he's sprinting away.

You realize, though it’s a beat late, you never got to say anything back or explain. Nor did you break apart from Heeseung.

“Oh, fuck,” Heeseung speaks first. “I thought we were finally going to get somewhere with your RomCom of a life. But I might’ve ruined that opportunity.”

You sigh. “God, what’s with my timing?” Stupid, stupid, stupid. You raise a hand up to your hairline and brush the hair back with your fingers. With another exasperated sigh, you speak to the older man, "I have to go, Heeseung. I need to talk to him. I’m sorry if we’re late, just drag Jay on and tell everyone that I’m still sick or something. Make an excuse for Sunghoon. Bye.”

With that, you bolt out of the room, on a mission to fix your friendship (and possibly your love life, but that’s a mission for later).

twenty two - romcom gone wrong

last song | next song | playlist

RADIO ROMANCE. sunghoon sns au

pairing: university student/radio dj! park sunghoon x female best friend! reader

genre: college au, best friends to lovers

author's note: IM SO SORRY TO EVERYONE SCROLLING I FR CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO ADD A READMORE 😭 and i am also not good at writing sorry yawl.. 😢 hope u enjoyed this chap anyways !!

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[cherienymphe]

While we're on this topic I wanna talk about how I've seen a lot of tweets from people praising the other Try Guys for immediately firing Ned and siding with Ariel when his cheating was revealed. But the thing is I feel like the other Try Guys had to know about it for a long time. Like Ned and Alex weren't exactly hiding their affair very well and they all work at the same place. I would just find it hard to believe that they somehow didn't know what their friend was up to. I think they only fired him not because it was the right thing to do but because it caused a big controversy online and they didn't want to get backlash so they dropped him.

There's speculation that not only have they known but so has Ariel. There are actually 2 theories going right now.

The first is that the guys knew and didn't tell Ariel but were already in the process of handling it internally and phasing him out (hence quietly editing him out of videos). Someone on Reddit claims that her friend was creepily hit on by him and when asked was he always that sloppy "the one with glasses" (could be Keith or Zach) replied yes like it was a regular thing. This is iffy since that Reddit account was proven to be sus and I personally don't want to believe they'd just cover for him all these years but it is possible.

The next theory is that they all found out near the beginning of September when they were spotted at Harry's concert. It's speculated that they gave Ariel the time and consideration to come to terms with everything while they quietly phased him out and handled it. I'm more inclined to believe this one because it really does seem like they acknowledged it publicly because those two idiots couldn't be discreet and word spread and so...damage control. If Ariel knew, it would make sense that she'd keep up pretenses (i.e keeping "wife" in her bios) so as to not arouse suspicion and her statement didn't give me the vibes of someone who is just discovering all of this. However, that brings up another problematic situation with Alex's fiancé being the only one in the dark because he very clearly was unaware 😬

It is possible however that they have known about his behavior and only did something about it when it affected the company. At the end of the day, he was Alex's boss and that's grounds for so many legal problems they'd rather not even deal with. Not to mention that Ariel is also part of the company and it makes the whole thing even messier. From a business pov, letting him go was the only option here.

I'd like to think that they haven't known about his behavior this whole time and it wasn't some known secret but who knows. If they did, I'm not sure why they wouldn't at least tell Ariel considering she's their friend too or maybe they tried and she didn't want to hear it? Until she didn't have a choice when proof showed up ? Either way, this whole situation went down the way it did because a boss (a boss who has made his entire brand and marketed off of being the "wife" guy and family man btw) fucking his employee makes the whole company look very bad.

[notesonartistry]

Imagine telling someone you need to "trust more freely"- TGW who has been through so much shit and has been fucked over by exes and people that she trusted like Scott B? or Karlie? --- How do you know this was said, if it was said at all, after the Scott B or Karlie episodes? It could have been before then. And as for being fucked over by exes, has she been? Or has she just been in relationships that didn't work out, like most people have. Not talking about you in particular, but I'm uncomfortable with the way so many of Taylor's fans portray her as an eternal victim and casually libel and threaten her exes, former friends and business associates, often accusing them of criminal wrongdoing, with very little basis. Apart from the cancellation of 2016, which had nothing to do with Karlie, Scott or her exes, she doesn't seem to have been particularly hard done by to me tbh.

There are a few parts to this message, but overall, I'd say that it really struck me how little empathy you seem to show for Taylor as a human being in your message. I'm not sure if you're a fan or not, but it seems to me that following fan blogs may not be the best option for you.

She outright says, "you said I had to trust more freely", so it seems that she's quoting someone. Plus, The Great War does likely take place after the debacle of 2016 - I assume you're not debating that it's about Joe, because that seems pretty nailed on tbh. While 2016 didn't stem from Karlie or Scott, I think it's also pretty clear she sees the disintegration of both relationships as betrayals, and I can't say that I'd feel particularly kindly towards either of them if I were in her situation so I don't really have any argument with the previous anon's assertion.

I don't think Taylor can be held responsible for the behaviour of her fans and, while I completely agree that some people go too far, I don't think it's in dispute that some of those people have treated her badly (although you do actually seem to dispute that so see point 3). I'm not excusing threats of any kind, because it's 100% out of order, but I'm not really sure what you're getting at with the libel and criminal wrongdoing ... and honestly if I don't know it's because I actively don't want to engage with it, so please don't fill me in. When someone has as many millions of fans as Taylor does, there is always going to be a minority that behave inappropriately. I want to be clear that I'm not excusing that behaviour though.

Yes, she has been in relationships that don't work out, as many other people have been, but from what we know and have seen play out publicly, I struggle to believe that you don't think there are times when she has been hard done by! Even putting aside 2016 (if that's even possible), there are definite instances where she has actually been a victim (of gaslighting, of inappropriate touching, of verbal abuse, and of manipulation, to name a few). Even if you don't think so, her songs indicate that she does.

Being a victim at one point or another does not make you an eternal victim or even mean that there aren't situations that you could have handled better - in fact that's part of the message in The Great War - she goes off at him because of her past experiences, realises that she's hurting him and vows that she will work on her responses for the future.

[arsonist-frog]

Hey so this is going to be a bit of a different post. I know usually keep this blog pretty light-hearted and just share my art but I just need to talk to someone about this and this is really the only place where I'm allowed to be myself so.

This situation happened about 5 months ago but I haven't been able to move past it or forget about it since then and I just can't stop thinking about it. So maybe talking about it will help.

For context I live in a very small super conservative town. About 5 months ago, I was in Spanish class working on a project when I overheard some of the guys teasing this guy, Jason (not real name). They had been teasing this guy for the last week or so saying that he's gay (I'm not sure if Jason is actually gay or not this was just a rumor). U may be wondering why they believe that he's gay, while its becuase Jason refused to look at some nudes of one of the guy's girlfriends, which he didn't have permission to share btw. So suddenly I hear one of the guys ( I'll call him John) say " it's ok if your gay Jason, just don't come out to me cuz than I'll have to kill ya" than he paused and said "in fact if I find out any of y'all are part of them queers, I'll have to kill you too, sorry that's just how it is" he said this part I little louder like he was addressing the class. Then john said " I just hate (f slur)s, I hate them". Now your probably think omg what teacher do? Send him to the office? Call his parents? Maybe even involve the police since he publicly threatened someone? Nope, she didn't do anything we just continued class like nothing had happened and I know she heard them cuz I heard them all the way on the other side of the room and she was closer. No one did anything they never do (yes there has been multiple situations similar to this). Cuz at my school if you defend lgbt+ people then it's assumed that you're one of them and you can imagine by the way they treated Jason how that will go. And it's not just one person etheir. Their used to be a few out LGBT people there but they both ( yup only 2 in a school of 200ish) moved schools cuz they couldn't handle the bulling anymore.

I want to do something. I'm so tried of hiding of being terrified of people that I've known since kindergarten. I used to be friends with these people now I'm scared to even be in the same room as them. I can't trust anyone. I just wish I could do something but that would blow my cover and my family (plus they are homophobic too) can't afford to switch schools. I feel like a coward for just sitting watching people just like me being harassed. I used to love school now I dread going everyday . I used to think this town was the best place on earth now I can't wait until I can get out . I'm just so tired of hiding but it's not like I really have a choice. I hate it here. I've thought of running away before but I know that's not a good option. I just have to wait it out and I'm getting closer. I'm 17 now and about to start my senior year. I only have 1 year left at that school.

So yeah sorry for venting like that but don't really have anyone irl to talk to about this. I do feel a little bit better now tho.

[prismatoxic]

fucked up so hard in a social setting today that i had to straight up leave the entire internet to try and deal with the ensuing panic. set do not disturb on both discord and phone before watching devot play through the otacon intro/gray fox fight in mgs1 again.

and i'm still panicking. bc it did not blow over, which... i didn't think it would but i guess i was hoping maybe i was too out of it in panic to correctly assess the situation. no, i got it mostly right... no one seems mad at me specifically because i wasn't the only one involved, but they are mad. and i am having real trouble figuring out what is a likely outcome of this versus what my terrified brain thinks makes sense as an outcome.

i apologized to the best of my ability once i came back and tried to explain my avoidant actions immediately following the encounter. no one's responded yet but it is 1am here.

i have a really fucking long history of messing up socially and then having a bunch of cascading results occur that involve things like being mocked for my attempt at an apology, losing friends, losing my place on a team, staining my reputation within a community, etc etc etc. regardless of whether that was all deserved every single time, i am the sort of person who assumes blame as it is, and because of these past events i then react wildly disproportionately to feeling like i did something wrong.

and the RSD is there too. that's not helping.

as you can imagine all of this makes taking accountability for my mistakes very hard! i am very clearly panicking and presumably feel shame and/or guilt, sure, but people in the past have assumed all of this was like... for my own benefit? like i was being attention-seeking or trying to incite pity. so add that to the pile of past experiences fucking up my ability to be normal about this sort of situation. i feel like if i am too publicly upset that i'm giving off the idea that i'm more worried about myself than the person or people i slighted. which simply isn't true--i am so upset BECAUSE i slighted someone. because i've potentially ruined a relationship of some kind. yes i am terrified of the consequences but everything ties back into remorse. i'm not capitalizing on a bad situation to try and make people feel sorry for me. i am genuinely just having a panic attack.

i'm well aware that the situation isn't about me once i've hurt someone but that genuinely does not make the panic stop. and you'd be surprised how hard it is to calm down from that sort of thing when you feel like at any moment, everything is going to fall down around your ears in response. i got pinged twice to the associated server immediately following the event, both times general or admin pings that had nothing to do with the situation, and both times my panic spiked so sharply that it made me concerned for my health.

none of this is normal or productive and i am well aware and i will... probably call my therapist back on monday to schedule an appointment bc holy shit, lmao. this sucked, not just for me but for the situation as a whole, which i should have handled with more grace.

i am still waiting for more consequences. like getting booted from the admin team or being blocked by the other admin i upset or, idk, something unforeseen but equally terrible. idk how likely any of that is. idk what's a normal response to this situation. my brain won't let me conceive of anything logical while i'm like this.

and like, my trauma is not the responsibility of the person i hurt. so in my apology i did not bring any of it up bc it's irrelevant. i tried to apologize as sincerely as i could while also avoiding trying to make excuses. i don't know if it's going to matter. i cannot fathom a world in which it's good enough.

how do you ask for reassurance in a situation where you're the one at fault, anyway? do you even deserve it at that point? i promise i wasn't being malicious. i thought i remembered something and made the wrong call on whether or not to bring it up, and then didn't nip the ensuing conversation in the bud when it immediately went off the rails. which i should have done bc i'm a server admin. i should have recognized the fucked up nature of the topic at hand before someone pointed it out to me. but i genuinely was not trying to be malicious. does that count for something?

this isn't the first time i've made mistakes in this server. it's at least the third time, but i think there might have been at least one more instance. i have been trying to be useful lately but i never feel like i'm pulling my own weight and if they decided to ax me from the team i'd get it. it would suck and my RSD would absolutely flay me alive over it but i would get it.

i don't know. i don't know how to emotionally handle this sort of situation and that impacts my ability to handle it at all. i'm not fit to be an admin of anything. i'm not fit to have power over anybody.

i'm going to get some food and try to draw or something.

[thenumbersgameif]

Honestly very disappointed with the way you handled the question asking about revenge against One. Let’s be real, you made them unlikeable and if people want to treat your flawed character the same way they treat the mc, it’s not a personal attack against you. Making your characters untouchable though and getting feisty with a reasonable question is one of the reasons why I’m not choosing to play, despite the interesting premise. And yes, i agree with anon that it is hypocritical. You write well but yikes, some authors need to get off their high horse and admit their characters aren’t as well developed as they think. And the people who support your illogical deflections contribute to this as well. Basic kindness and acknowledgement isn’t too much to ask for, goodbye.

i'd like to apologise in advance for being mean and rude, but my patience is running thin today.

Let's get something straight. I was not "feisty" I set a clear boundary and expressed my displeasure (and that I was upset) that I have people (plural.) in my inbox saying they wish to harm or wishing harm on one of my characters.

let's remember what i said, shall we?

this is what i said before answering anything about this publicly:

and this is my responses to the two anons:

and this is my responses to other people regarding the situation:

if this is "feisty" then we may understand that word differently.

You're free to make your choices and not play my game, I'm not forcing anyone to play it. You are free to hate One, detest them, etc. However, I think it's immature to 1) go out of your way to message an author to ask whether you can harm said character or to inform the author you hate said character, 2) to get pissy that the author wasn't nice or 'professional' when confronted with the message.

Would you write devs of Detroit: Become Human to ask them if you'll have a chance to physically assault captain Hank, since he's a dick in a choice-based game? I doubt it, because it would be inappropriate and concerning.

I've been more than patient when it comes to anon messages. I ignore most of them, and try to keep benefit of the doubt for them / remain civil.

Whatever gives you the impression that you can judge whether my characters are 'well developed' when there's only a glimpse of them for the public to see?

"Illogical deflections" -- do you mean me explaining the scene... like, fine?

the first anon even wrote again, after the situation (i didnt publish it because i simply didn't want to start a new wave of asks about the entire thing) but here it is:

it was a case of me having a bad day and reacting too emotionally (which i recognised and said before) and simple miscommunication on that front. It was meant to be a joke, I didn't read the tone.

I don't know what you wanted me to do, anon. Post a notepad apology?

I'm kind to people who are kind back.

[xoxoallthelove]

"You didn't listen."

"Are you seriously blaming this entire situation on me?" he spoke in disbelief.

"As a matter of fact, I am. I never asked to be dragged into this circus. I wanted you. Only you. Not the managers and the publicists and fans. Oh my shit, the fans are insane. I told you before we happened that I only wanted you." I spoke quickly in hopes that I wouldn't sound like a complete prick. I was failing miserably at that obviously.

"So, you're telling me that just because my career isn't a simple nine-to-five, we can't be together? Why is this only coming up now? What about the past six fucking months of our lives? Huh? What about that?" He spat knowing I was spouting out bullshit. I didn't bother with a verbal response because it was useless. There were hard parts yes, but when isn't there? They happened to be the best six months of my life. I had been happy or so I thought with a man I had come to love.

I was scared. Scared shitless of what would happen to us if we were to be in the spotlight. That position puts so much strain on people. It could tear us apart and we would be left broken and full of hatred and I did not want that to happen to us. I didn't want him to hate me. I didn't want him to look at me the way he is now. Eyes blazing not in passion but anger and frustration towards my paranoia-induced reasons.

"Are you honestly going to sit there and tell me that this meant nothing to you? These six months I spent loving you and I thought you loved me too were for absolutely fucking nothing?" he begged as his eyes began to lose their anger and turn into sadness and distraught.

"They meant the world to me and you know that, Harry. But I told you I couldn't handle the pressure of being with you. Not publicly. I told you that in the very beginning. You didn't listen." I spoke quietly wiping away what I thought was a tear off my cheek.

"No, I don't know that. You let me believe that you loved me and for fucks sake, I actually fell in love with you. Stupid me right? You're right, I should've listened to what you told me but I guess my heart heard something else and decided to overthrow my brain for six months. All of a sudden, the public turns their eye to our relationship you want to jump ship?"

"Yes, Harry. I did fall in love with you. None of this was fake for me. How could it have been? I've been the happiest person since I met you. The past six months have been the best in my life. I told you I didn't want the pressure of being your girlfriend but you never let me explain myself. You just pushed it away and told me I was being silly of thinking like that. You wouldn't let me speak about it."

"Alright then, explain." he crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a glance that urged me to spill.

"I didn't want to be in the spotlight with you because of what it could do to us. That attention could potentially tear us apart bit by bit. It seems I'm doing a good job at that so far. I didn't want you to leave me and think I was a terrible person. I didn't want you to look at me in disgust or hatred. Like right now, the way you're looking at me. It's full of frustration and anger and it's honestly hurting me. You have no idea that I never want you hurt or upset. Especially with me. That's what hurts the most but, I did this to myself. I should've told you this sooner instead of it blowing up how it is and you still looking at me as if I just screwed your best friend right in front of you." I gushed attempting to hold back my tears.

"I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you. I fucked up with that but you fucked up too. You expected to have this quiet life with me when my life is anything but. You knew what you were getting into way before we went on our first date. If you thought I would change my entire life just because you didn't want it then you shouldn't have met me at all." he spoke, "I'm not saying I regret the half a year we spent together because I don't. I just think that you should've thought about this before we ever became serious. My life isn't something I can control. I am who I am and if you can't bear that, then you should leave. I'll shake hands so we're not completely hostile but I'm not changing my entire existence because of what you read about probably fake couples in some stupid tabloid magazine." he clenched his jaw and sat back in his seat on the couch.

"Okay."

"Okay?" he questioned.

"Okay, I'll leave. I don't want you to regret anything and I certainly don't want to. I hate to leave but this is what is best for both of us. I won't be completely happy in this life with you and you won't be because I'll try to pull you down. I'll go grab my things and head back to my place." I wiped a couple of tears and began my descent up the stairs to grab the clothes I had left and a few other things of mine.

I had all of my clothes packed into the overnight bag that I had left in his closet and most of my toiletries as well. The only thing that wouldn't fit into the bag was the picture of us that I had brought from my place to add a touch of 'us' to his room. I wouldn't be needing it anyway. I'd only cry more at the sight of it in my apartment. I traced over our faces as I sat on the bed and let a few tears fall freely before taking a deep breath and leaving it on the bed and grabbing my bag to walk out of the door forever.

"I've got all my things out. Looks like I was never here." I attempted to half-smile as I stood in the doorway with my huge bag in front of my feet. "Um, I'll send someone with your stuff from my place tomorrow." to which he only nodded with water rimming his eyes and his frustration turned into sadness. "Goodbye Harry. I really did love you." I spoke loud enough for him to hear before I walked to the door, leaving my key on the front table and exiting the house for his and my own good.

[sternerstufftoys]

He Got Touchy

(inhales)

Oh man, I don't want to do this. Why am I doing this? No-one's making me do this. I'm still doing this. I said I was doing highlights from each year of G1 one week at a time, and you can't talk about 1984 without Optimus Prime. I already did Megatron, now it's time to get the big red bugger out of the way.

Because here's the thing. I don't much like Optimus Prime. No, that's not quite right, I like him well enough I suppose. I like him fine. But I don't care about him. Yes, that's more like it. I don't really care about Optimus Prime. He's not my space-dad, he's not the hero I ever admired as a toddler, he's a relic, a symbol of everything that came before.

Like I said in the Jazz review, I was born in 1984, so by the time I came to Transformers a few years later, Optimus was already dead. Rodimus Prime was in, and any sightings of Optimus felt more like flashbacks than anything else. Optimus was part of the generation that your older cousins might have owned, that the big kids that had grown out of Transformers would recognise. We didn't need them any more. We had Chromedome. And, uh, Wheelie.

Still, I remember being excited by the anticipation of watching The Return of Optimus Prime again. The second coming was a big deal, even if you don't remember the first coming. And then it came and went without leaving an impression, because the nicest thing you can say about it is that it's kind of a dull episode. But returning to it later...

Listen. Rodimus Prime earned his place as leader. It took most of a season, but he bloody well earned it. He doubted himself, he questioned the idea of leadership, he self-reflected until his arse was a highly-polished sheen. But. He. Earned. It. It's the closest that the G1 cartoon ever got to a story arc, with Rodimus finally overcoming his doubts by the penultimate story, The Burden Hardest To Bear. And then before the series could die a merciful death, along comes Optimus to undo everything because he's Optimus Prime and he made some kids cry in 1986 when he went all grey and stopped moving. In doing so Hasbro made it clear that they weren't going to ever commit to any real changes in the franchise, and that sooner or later everything will just reset back to normal. Back to boring.

And yet. When I opened up the packaging for this here KuBianBao MP10-V Convoy, a downscaled knockoff of Takara's own MP10 from a few years back, I have to admit to feeling a thrill of excitement on seeing it for the first time. Specifically, the luscious deep blue of his legs jostled a memory I didn't realise I had, of being round a friend's house as a child and jealously seeing their G1 Optimus Prime in person, with that same navy blue hue that somehow signified a certain level of quality well above anything I had at home.

Damn. I like it.

I'm not going to bang on about how good MP10 was or is. It's still to my mind the best version of the character that exists, and that's including the more recent cartoon-accurate MP44. MP10 looks like a truck, not a hastily-animated drawing of a truck. Here though it is scaled down to better exist next to main line transformers, with the loose scale guide that means that cars are deluxes, trucks voyagers, etc. Plus he doesn't tower over his mates in robot mode either.

There's only a few changes to the original MP10 tooling going on, most notably a metallic waist instead of the plastic one that the original had. You also get a bunch of extra accessories as well - some spare heads I could never get on, a jetpack in case you want him to recreate that time he had a jetpack, and a sword in case you want to... well, swords are cool I guess. God knows where the sword originally came from, but in solid die-cast metal it could double as a handy letter opener if you want to resume your correspondence from your fellow 19th century fops. Whatever its origins, KBB didn't think to give it the wrapping around the handle which it was clearly designed for, so it rattles around unconvincingly in old Optimus's hand. Still, taking the rubber grip off a cheap biro and gluing it on seems to have done the trick.

The trailer, and the rest of the accessories such as roller and a slightly sunburned Spike, were sold separately some time later, meaning that the eventual cost was not altogether far off what an actual MP10 would be. Still, you can't not have a trailer. The vestigial part of my brain that was programmed as a pre-toddler to enjoy putting things inside of other things still gets a tickle out of stashing deluxe cars inside. I'm a simple soul.

That'd all be fine, but let's stop ignoring that elephant in the room. This is a knockoff, and that troubles me. Not, I should add, that I'm especially troubled by the infringement of copyright, even the outright theft of physical moulding equipment owned by Takara. Okay, that's pretty low, but Takara and Hasbro are big enough, old enough and wealthy enough to take that hit. What bothers me more is that, being a knockoff, there's no way to tell how, where, or in what conditions it was manufactured.

It's a high-grade knockoff, using high grade materials, so skilled and trained workers had to have been used to put it together. But even so, while Hasbro and Takara would be publicly raked across the coals if they were ever to be exposed as using exploitative working practices in their factories (and risk their stock values) KBB have no such concerns. Were the workers paid adequately? Were their working hours reasonable? It's not like we'll ever be able to tell, as they'd never advertise their situation, having flagrantly broken the law to even produce something like this. And it'd be a mistake to assume that just because the product is good that the company's moral compass is equally good.

And it's not perfect either. Partly due to the downscaling process that makes certain parts small and fragile, and partly due to the use of materials which aren't quiteup to Hasbro / Takara's standards, there are flaws in MP10-V's makeup. One of the flaps that cover up the wheels on his legs broke off a while ago, and was far too fiddly to repair. The other one is hanging on there - just. Over time the parts don't seem to fit together as well as they did when it came out of the box, and some joints are getting looser with age, while others seem to seize up. So... do I regret it?

Sort of. I regret having supported sketchy knockoff merchants in China. But I don't regret the toy itself. Honestly, if Hasbro or Takara had just made this themselves they'd have had my money, but they didn't. Well, they sort of did with Earthrise Optimus Prime, and the similarities at a glance make it very likely that the existence of MP10-V was a consideration in its creation. And owning MP10-V makes it impossible to ignore the scrunched-up torso proportions that ER Prime has, as well as the disappointingly small trailer that can't fit a deluxe car inside properly. So no, I'll keep my sketchy knockoff for a good long while yet. It's only Optimus Prime after all. I was never that much of a fan.