#and then I realize I was about to start my period soooooooo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

purplesurveys · 4 years

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How have you been feeling lately? Have you been doing ok? Uncomfortable because of period cramps and the heat WHICH IS STILL HERE, even though it’s supposed to be gone right about now and it’s supposed to be raining at this point. I wish I was kidding saying this but we literally have three electric fans turned on just for the living and dining rooms. It’s crazy and stupid and it shouldn’t be this hot anymore. I’m doing better mentally and emotionally, so at least that balances things out lol.

Are you currently in quarantine? Still am. While all countries are slowly going back to normal, our Covid cases continue to get higher and higher everyday because our government hasn’t done anything except to make us stay home for three months. No mass testing, no alternate public transport plans, and for some reason Duterte keeps borrowing billions of dollars’ worth of loans from the World Bank nearly every week, and we have no idea where the stupid fucking money goes. Our government is convinced they’ve been doing everything right so they’ve loosened up quarantine protocols, so with malls and restaurants being open again we’ve done nothing but reach record high cases almost every day.

Do you wear a mask when you go to the store? I’ve gone outside a total of three times since March and I wore a mask for two of those times. The first time I went out I just genuinely forgot to bring a mask, but in the end it was fine because I only had to stay in the car.

Does your state require people to wear masks in stores? As far as I know it’s not a requirement per se, but fortunately everyone follows the safety precautions anyway.

Do you know anyone who’s had the coronavirus? Yeah, my mom’s former boss. This is a bit of a stretch but I also know someone personally who had immediate family members that tested positive.

What was the last sweet treat you ate? I had a peanut butter doughnut from J.CO! Soooooooo good.

Was it a nice day out today? No, it’s too hot. Even if life was normal rn I’d prefer to be indoors with air conditioning, like a mall.

Is the weather nice where you live usually? Fuck no. It is disgustingly hot, sticky, and humid 3/4 of the year.

What was the last thing you ordered online? I don’t do a lot of online shopping. When I get something online it’s usually to get food delivered, and the last time I did that it was me and Andrew getting Hong Kong noodles.

Are you expecting a package right now? Nopes.

Have you ever ordered anything from Wish? If so, what did you buy, and did you feel it was worth it? No, though I remember Good Mythical Morning featuring it in a couple of episodes. I don’t feel comfortable buying from stores or sellers that sell things for a lot cheaper because they could always be fake, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable buying from that site.

Are you a youtuber? If so, are you consistent with uploads? and how many subscribers do you have? I’m not, but I do have my own channel. I just use it to like videos and subscribe to my favorites, though.

What is one thing you hate about summer? The weather. Honest to goodness I’d really rather live somewhere that gave me -40C weather everyday.

Did you go outside today? No. My dad wanted to bring Cooper to my grandma’s place and I planned to come along, but at the last minute he changed his mind and did just the errands he was supposed to do.

What is the name of your youtube channel, if you have one? It’s just my full name because my YouTube is linked to my Google account.

What was the name of the last store or restaurant that overcharged you? I don’t know any instances where that would happen. I don’t find service charge inconvenient because I know that directly goes to the servers anyway so I don’t mind how high it gets most of the time. Is your room more often messy or clean? It’s clean most of the time but sometimes when I’m busy I won’t be able to keep it clean and it’ll be clean-messy? Like I’ll leave stuff around but I’ll still know where everything is lol.

Who is someone you miss? ALL MY FRIENDS BRUH

What is something you miss? Being able to go out and freely do activities. Life Pre-COVID < Life pre-COVID, perfectly put. I miss getting an allowance, being out until midnight, having dates with my girlfriend thhe most.

Do you feel like your emotions are often haywire? Not necessarily, but they can get pretty unstable sometimes.

Have you ever received a misdiagnosis from a doctor? Nah but I’ve been given a prescription that didn’t work. We went to our family doctor who made me take a certain medicine for three days, and I started getting worried when three days had passed and I still had my fever. I went to Angela’s mom and she was super quick to tell me that that medicine wasn’t the right one to take for a UTI and prescribed me with something else; and that second one ended up working like magic.

Have you ever been “diagnosed” with a mental illness from an online friend? who is not a doctor? If yes, isn’t that frustrating? That’s never happened before, but if it did I wouldn’t let my frustration get the best of me. I’d just tell them that they should avoid doing that if they’re not a professional because they could very much end up seriously harming people.

Do you have any friends that you can trust and tell everything to? All of them.

What was the name of your favorite roommate you’ve had? Kimi :)

Do you have a favorite book that you’ve read multiple times? Yeah when I was a kid I would reread this book that an aunt had given me for Christmas as much as I could. For many years I forgot the title but after painstakingly Googling the few keywords I could remember I finally found out it again – it’s a series called Three Girls in the City by Jeanne Betancourt, but I only ever read the first book because it was the only gift I got. It’s not my favorite book, but I’d be so happy if I got to be reunited with it again because I don’t think we got to keep it around when we moved houses.

What’s one book or book series that you’ve read multiple times? ^ That, multiple wrestling memoirs, and Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. I’ve also reread the Twilight Saga once.

What was the name of the funniest kid you’ve ever babysat? I never babysat anyone other than younger relatives, but the one I enjoyed taking care of the most was my cousin Lucas. He was the smartest kid I babysat so it was fun talking to him, plus his yaya was always nice to me, they had a playground and sandbox at home, and all I had to do was keep him company while he watched Thomas and Friends over and over.

Do you enjoy babysitting? Just the younger relatives that were smarter and more behaved. I didn’t like the kids who thought kicking and being rowdy were fun.

Do you have any big regrets? One big one.

Are there things about your past that bother you? Of course. My entire childhood is one.

What was the last thing you saw or read on social media that made you angry? OMG get ready for this one. Our dumb as a rock presidential spokesperson was talking about how happy he is that the country beat UP’s (my school, which the government hates because we always talk shit about them lol) prediction of 40,000 Covid cases by the end of June if the government doesn’t do anything to prevent more cases. How many cases do we have? Fucking 36,000. Our government is happy because they finally beat our school over something for the very first time and they are technically happy that we got 36,000 cases, which if you round up will give you 40,000 anyway. My school had a fucking FIELD DAY over it and now he is a national meme.

Do you often post about controversial topics on facebook? At first I didn’t but that’s because I wasn’t active on Facebook in the past anyway. After I realized that I had a bigger friends list on Facebook I decided to put it to good use and post about controversial topics to educate others. It’s made a bunch of conservative family members uncomfortable and that’s the goal, son.

Do you think it’s a good idea to post about serious topics on social media? or do you think that it’s better to discuss serious topics in person? It definitely is. In person is good too but you don’t always get that opportunity, so sharing stuff through social media doesn’t hurt too as long as information is accurate. For instance most of my relatives life far from me, so if I want them to get a piece of my mind about Trump or BLM or abortion, sharing informative graphics and tables is always convenient.

What was your favorite book you had to read for school? Without Seeing the Dawn by Stevan Javellana is my absolute favorite. It’s probably the closest thing to being my favorite book. Number the Stars by Lois Lowry is a good runner-up. On the other hand, Dekada ‘70 by Lualhati Bautista is my favorite that was written in Filipino.

Have you ever failed a class and had to repeat it? Nope. I really believe I was meant to fail algebra in my freshman year in high school because I failed every exam, but I think my teacher just took pity on me and gave me a barely-passing mark at the end of the year so that I didn’t have to go to summer school. As for college, I’ve never failed a class.

What class in school did you hate the most? In college I hated my economics elective. I still don’t know why that’s mandatory for us journ students... I also dreaded a couple of journalism classes, but it was more because of the teachers than the classes’ topics.

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? I don’t think so.

What’s one childhood dream that has stuck with you, and one that has not? Having a big house; becoming a firefighter.

Would you want to re-live your childhood over again if you could? I’ve already said it on this survey, but: fuck no. I’m ok where I am now, even if I am a clumsy adult.

Which do you like more: being an adult or being a kid? Being an adult. Being a kid meant having to stomach the smell of hard alcohol and cigarettes from morning to evening everyday; being caught in the middle of screaming matches between drunk relatives; and being cramped in a single-floor home with 12 people. Like I said, I love where I am now. The amount of independence I gained in college was freeing and felt so nice and I’m glad my parents never tried holding me back. I’m also glad that I didn’t fall into the same alcohol trap, and that I know how to deal with my alcohol responsibly.

At what age were you when you started to feel like you were mature enough to offer others advice? Around college-age, so like when I turned 18.

Did your parents smoke or drink when you were growing up? Neither of them did, because we had enough alcoholism happening at my old home. It was actually my drunken relatives that finally drove my mom out of that house.

Do you enjoy bonfires? I’ve only been to one and I was like 9 years old then, so I wouldn’t know how I feel about them now.

Have you ever stepped on a sparkler? Nope.

What, do you know of, are you allergic to? No allergies.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Also nopes. I always feel bad for the ambulances that I see because I live in a very traffic-heavy city and they always end up getting stuck and crawling through traffic like the rest of us. We do try to swerve, but our roads are so tiny and always cramped that there’s little space left for us to move out of the ambulance’s way, so even though we’re able to make a path for it, the space is not big enough for the ambulance to drive in the speed it’s supposed to.

What is your favorite version of the Bible to read, if applicable? That’s a big no thanks from me.

Do you follow trends? or are you a trendsetter? Yeah, I follow some of them if I think they are nice.

Has anyone ever described you as a trendsetter? Nope, because I am not.

Do you know anyone who used to be loving, but then turned cold? List three people you’ve known whom this has happened to. My mom, Athenna, Macy. The only person I don’t resent out of these three is Macy, because I know she turned distant due to mental health issues and because she wants to fix herself first, which is responsible.

What SAT subjects, if any, did you get a perfect score in? We don’t have SAT.

What were your best subjects in school? and what was your favorite subject in school? I loved taking history electives in college, and I performed the best in them too. I also did well in international relations, which was under the political science department.

Have you ever been abused by a parent or legal guardian? I’ve been verbally and emotionally abused by my mom ever since I can remember.

Do you have a lot of wounds from your past? If we’re getting visual then I’d rather say that I have one ugly, infected gash that gets bothersome from time to time. My past isn’t made up of little tiny scattered wounds.

Has anyone ever called you a jerk? Behind my back, probably.

Are you a jerk? I can be, so I don’t mind being called it. I never said I was the nicest person.

What color were your bedroom walls in high school? They have always been white. My mom doesn’t let us have control over our own rooms, so in the beginning it’s always been plain boring white. Don’t get me wrong, I like my room but sometimes it just feels like living in a cell.

Is there a girl or guy you wish you hadn’t let slip away? I wish I was still close with my high school friends, and I remember saying how they were for keeps in my old surveys so that makes me extra sad haha. I’m civil with most of them, but no longer close. And I only ever talk to them if it’s their birthdays or if they achieved something big. The only people I’ve remained close with from that original group are Angela and Hans.

Is there an old friend that you miss and would like to reconnect with? Not really. Sofie and I have grown apart from each other now and we’re both very happy, so there’s no need to change that. I’m okay with seeing her once or twice a year.

Who has hurt you the most? My mom.

Have you been bullied? Yeah in kindergarten. Long-lasting effects though.

Which talent show, if any, would you most like to audition for? and have you auditioned for one? No thanks. I don’t have the kind of talent that I can show off, like singing or playing an instrument.

Do you know anyone who’s auditioned for American Idol? I don’t think so. But my mom knows someone who auditioned for our local version of America’s Got Talent. He’s a ventriloquist that my mom used to get for our parties. As far as I know he got into the grand finals, but I’m not sure if he won.

Is there someone you think should audition that hasn’t yet? American Idol’s been over for a while now.

What time of day do you usually feel your best? I love the evenings.

What’s one way in which you’ve changed within the last ten years? I was in sixth grade then, I’ve graduated from college now. My mom was purely verbally abusive to me then, now we have brief stints of having an actually healthy relationship. I had one dog then and I have two dogs now; I had no friends then and I have tons of them now. There’s been a lot of tiny changes but nothing that were life-changing.

Do you feel like time goes by fast, or slow? It goes both ways depending on how stimulated I am or how much fun I’m having.

Who do you know who has died of cancer? One of my great-aunts.

Has there been cancer in your family? Yeah, ^ that. Other than her I’m not sure if we’ve had other cases. My family tends to be hush-hush about cancer and only ever call it ‘c’ or ‘the big one.’

Have you ever stayed overnight in a hospital, and if so, what for? Yes, once for a low platelet count.

Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct? No but the cops here are just as corrupt as the ones in the US, so I can very much be a victim any time. It’s just a matter of being in the wrong place at the right time.

Have you ever been so angry you wanted to sue someone? Not so much that I wanted to sue someone, no.

Have you ever been a victim of racism? My country isn’t diverse at all and we’re all Filipinos here, and I’ve only ever traveled to Asian countries, so no. But racism is a big reason why I have no plans to go to other countries known for it.

Have you ever deleted a friend on Facebook for making racist comments? I’ve unfriended those who were being little bitches about BLM and George Floyd’s death, so I guess that kinda counts as being racist. I still have a few racist Facebook friends that I keep around, but that’s because they’re family members.

What was the last thing you ate? Binagoongan.

What was the theme of your senior prom? Clair de Lune, so like the moon and shit.

Did you go to prom? It was mandatory, so I had to go even though I really had no interest.

Have ever been engaged or married? I have been neither.

Are you an aunt or uncle? Nah but I’m a godmother to one of my cousins.

Do you live to glorify God and to do His will? LOL no

Are you happy with the way you are living your life day-to-day right now? It could be better and more filled with activity. But I’m not miserably depressed right now and that’s more than enough for me.

Do you feel like your life was better or worse six years ago? It was slightly better. I feel like 2014 was my best year.

Have you ever made a huge, catastrophic mistake? Not anything that ruined my life or someone else’s, no.

Do you feel like you are currently in a state of suffering? and that not all of your basic needs are being met? If so, how long have you been in a state of suffering? Basic needs?? So you mean poverty? No.

Do you hate social injustice? Absolutely. Anyone who tolerates it is automatically a gigantic prick, I’d say.

Are you happy with the current social class you are in? No. I don’t know how it translates to English, but in Filipino we have this term called naghaharing-uri that comprises the very very very very tiny top of the social pyramid and it’s made up of top government officials and their families, heads of corporations, old money families, etc. It’s no secret that it’s this 1% that exploits the 99% remaining in the pyramid, so even though I’m relatively comfortable in my class, I hate that, when it comes down to it, we’re only being used by this 1% for their own benefit.

Life isn’t fair. True or false? True.

Do you hate that life is so unfair? Sometimes, if it’s for stuff about social injustice and how some people have to be homeless, why homophobia exists, etc. But if it’s for tiny problems, I feel like they’re necessary sometimes so we can learn from them.

Name a few people who seem to have everything handed to them. Some richer kids that I know.

Who do you go to when you’re upset? Sometimes myself, sometimes Gabie.

Do you pray less or more than you did 5 years ago? A LOT LESS, thank fuck I got out of that trap.

Do you pray a lot? Definitely not.

Do you frequently have back pain? Yeah, haha. Kinda expected considering I have scoliosis.

What’s the worst side effect you’ve experienced for a medication? and what’s the worst withdrawal effect you’ve experienced from a medicine? Nothing worse than diarrhea. I’ve never experienced withdrawal.

Have you ever used an epi pen? Nopes.

What’s a name that you like but probably wouldn’t use for one of your kids? Isabella because I’m already an Isabelle and my girlfriend has a sister named Isabela.

What’s your name, and do you like it? Robyn. I like it now.

Would you prefer to give your kids common names or unique names? Common, more old-school names. I just feel like they sound super elegant.

Do you feel like anybody values you in the way that you deserve? Angela, Andrew, and Gab.

Who have you felt the most valued by? ^ Them.

Have you ever been treated like you were inferior? For sure.

What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school? Oh my god this survey is so long... we didn’t have bullies in high school. We had mean girls and mean girl cliques, but as long as you weren’t involved in drama with them you’d be fine.

Do you ever sleep outside? Nah. I’d sleep at the rooftop but there are sooooo many mosquitoes at night.

How many siblings do you have? Two.

Are you the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child? Eldest.

How many kids do you want to have? One or two would be great.

Do you want to get married? Yessssssss.

Best date you’ve been on? Probably that time we went to BGC so we can feel fancy and have a fancy dinner, then when we meant to walk back to our car to go home we ended up having impromptu drinks at like 11 PM when we randomly found a jazz bar loudly playing live music in the area. OH and that time we went museum hopping in Manila and we ended the day having delicioussss Italian food.

Dream date? Traveling out of the country.

Ever kissed someone on New Year’s? Nah. We celebrate New Year’s with our respective families so there’s no chance of that happening. Which is fine, because New Year’s is traditionally a family-centric holiday here so it would be weird for anyone to ditch their families.

Have you ever had an experience so good you felt like you were flying? Sure.

Have you ever been in so much pain you prayed that you would die? YES, with my toothache last year.

What brings you the most joy? My dogs.

What is your passion; what is it that would bring you the most joy and fulfillment in life? I’m at a point where it still keeps changing, so I don’t wanna give an absolute answer to this just yet.

Have you ever laid your dreams aside because someone else wanted you to? That’s never happened to me. I only ever gave up on one dream because it realistically wasn’t attainable, when it came down to it.

Who supports you in everything you do? My two best friends.

Who always tries to stop you whenever you try to go after your dreams? I haven’t had anyone bar me, but if someone tried to they would definitely hear from me.

Do you believe in following your heart, in going after your dreams? Not always.

Do you wish other people would want you to be happy? Of course.

Do you wish you had someone who loved and supported you? I already do.

#survey #surveys #fuck me this was long

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skelenyxx · 5 years

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3 - Antics ~WOR

"You better hang on if you're taggin' along cause we'll be doin this 'till 6 in the mornin'. Nothin' wrong with goin' all night long. Tough to put the brakes on, doesn't matter when you'd rather get up, and go out. Me and all my friends. We drink up, we fall down and then we do it all again. Just sittin around, hangin out this afternoon." ~ This Afternoon - Nickelback

.•*•.•*•.•*•.

*Andy's POV*

I walked through the double doors of the office out into the school yard. The lunch bell had already rung, so many students were bustling about carrying books or trays of food. I used to be like that once, and the thought actually made me shudder a bit. Yikes.

I set out across the grass heading towards the cement area where the tables were. A few students stopped what they were doing to gape at me as I passed them, as if they hadn't already done enough of that at the assembly this morning. "Fag," muttered a big guy in a football jersey as I passed him. I turned and flipped him off. Fuck haters, that's all I have to say.

I continued walking until I reached the tables on the white cement. I scanned the tables, looking for the girl who set up this whole thing; Katrina. I finally spotted her, sitting alone at one of the far tables with her nose in a book. Her long, straight, dark blonde hair was blowing around in the breeze and glinting like gold. She had on a brown leather jacket and had the sleeves pulled up over her hands. She was also wearing tight blue jeans and grey boots. She definitely didn't look like the typical, stereotypical girl who would experience bullying. She was pretty, in a sort of goody-two-shoes way.

I plopped myself down in the seat across from her. She looked up, eyes wide.

"Hey." I said, a smile playing on my lips.

"H-Hey," she stuttered nervously. She looked down at her feet, redness creeping up her neck.

"You're Katrina right?" I knew she was, but I felt like asking anyway.

"Yeah," she smiled thinly at me.

"I'm Andy. Andy Biersack," I told her.

She smiled. "I know who you are," she replied. "I'm a fan."

"Oh. So you listen to us?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," she chuckled. "You guys are my favorite band."

"Oh really?" I smirked. She nodded. "So what are you reading?" I inquired, looking at the book in her hands.

"Well, um-" she began but was cut off by a high pitched voice.

"Katrina!" the voice exclaimed, sounding sort of pissed off. I turned around to see the same snobby blonde girl from the assembly marching towards us. I heard Katrina sigh, sounding kind of annoyed.

"So, this is your idea of a fun experiment?" she asked when she reached us. "By bringing these emo fags to our school?" She put her hands on her hips and glared at me.

I was about to say something back, but Katrina shot a look at me telling me to stay silent. I clamped my mouth shut, watching the exchange.

"Savannah, just leave us alone," Katrina snapped. "They are not emo fags. They are real people who are living out their dreams, which is more than you can say about yourself."

Savannah scoffed at her and stalked off, walking right past Ashley who was walking towards us with Jake, Jinxx, and CC in tow.

"Hey Andy," Ashley said when he got to us, sitting down next to me on the bench. Everyone else followed suit by sitting at the surrounding benches. "We were wondering where you wandered off to. You're Katrina right?" He looked at Katrina.

"Y-Yeah," she stuttered in reply, redness creeping to her face yet again.

"Well, I'm Ashley, this is-"

"She knows who we are," I cut him off with a small chuckle. "We're her favorite band." I smirked and her blushing got even darker, which I didn't even think was possible.

"Oooooooo. So the goody-two-shoes listens to Rock music, huh?" CC asked looking at Katrina who was sitting next to him.

"I am not a goody-two-shoes!" She gasped, glaring at CC.

"Oh please!" Ashley laughed. "Everything about you screams good girl, from your hair to your make up to your shoes. I'm sure you probably have straight A's and I bet you don't even cuss."

"I do to cuss!" she replied with a laugh.

"Then say 'fuck.'"

She looked him dead in the eyes. And opened her mouth, before closing it again, somewhat resembling a fish out of water.

"Goody goody!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Not!"

"Are!"

"Not!"

"Are!"

"Not!"

"You soooooooo are."

She sighed in defeat. "You know what? It doesn't matter 'cause I could still kick your ass either way." A devilish grin curled on her lips, her blue eyes glinting.

Jake gasped. "Oooooooo the goody-two-shoes cussed!" He laughed. Katrina just stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh you're mature," Jinxx joked. Katrina laughed an airy, light-hearted laugh, one that made us all smile and laugh with her. All except for Ashley, who rose from his seat and walked over to Katrina, looking somewhat serious.

"So, you think you could kick my ass?" he asked, looking down at her. Her laughter died, along with ours.

She smiled. "Yeah, I probably could."

Ash sighed and picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder like a potato sack and began walking off with her.

"PUT ME DOWN PURDY!" She yelled, making us all laugh. She tried unsuccessfully to hit him and kick him, but just ended up making her self tired. Ashley just laughed at her. So did we. Since Ashley's back was to us as he walked off with her, Katrina was facing us. She glared at us, causing us to laugh even harder.

"I'm serious Ash. Put me down. People are looking at us like we're crazy!" she exclaimed.

"I don't care," he replied. They were about twenty feet away from us now and Ash was starting to turn around to bring her back.

As they got closer Katrina looked over her shoulder at us. "You guys better not be staring at my ass."

"You don't have anything to stare at," I replied.

"Hey!"

"Just kidding!"

"Why are you looking?!"

I threw my hands up in defeat. I wasn't going to win this battle.

"Put me down," she whined with a laugh and tried once again to free herself from his grasp, still failing miserably. I rolled my eyes, still shaking with laughter.

They finally reached us and Ashley put her back down on the bench next to CC. She tried to look angry, but couldn't contain her smile and ended up laughing with us.

When we were finally out of breath and the laughter died, Jake turned to Katrina and asked, "So, how long have you been listening to our music?"

"Since 9th grade," she responded. "My best friend was in love with you guys and was constantly trying to get me to listen to you. At the time, I was completely against it. You guys, no offense, kinda scared me with the looks. I judged you by the way you portrayed yourselves and I didn't want to like you guys. But after a few months of her constantly nagging me, my curiosity got the better of me. I looked you up on Pandora, and as soon as I heard the first song, something just, just clicked. The message behind the music, the style, everything, it just fit." She sighed. "All of my previous thoughts about you guys just disappeared. I fell in love with everything about you guys, and as I listened to more and more of your music, the more and more I realized who I really was. I had been hiding who I was the entire time and as I listened to your guys' message, I changed. I became less worried about what other people thought and more about what I thought. Due to that though, I've kinda butted heads with the majority of the popular kids here. But I honestly don't care. They can think what they want." She smiled thinly when she finished.

"Wow," Jinxx started. "That's awesome Katrina. I'm glad we were able to help you."

"Yeah, sorry to get all serious on you guys, but your music literally changed my life. It was the beginning of my love for Rock and it helped make me the stubborn, out-speaker I am today." She smiled again.

I had heard story after story about how our music had changed fans' lives, but hearing this story form her was just different. She had given up the potential of popularity and people accepting her for our music. We helped her find herself and she was proud of it. I was happy for that. I mean, I'm sure I'd probably heard fan stories like this one a million times before, but it's never really hit me like Katrina's story did. She just seemed so innocent.

"What was the first song you heard?" Ash asked her.

"Believe it or not, God Bless You." She grinned a cheesy grin.

"Really?" I questioned. God Bless You is one of our more heavy rock songs. She nodded in response. "Is it your favorite too?"

"No, In The End and Carolyn are my favorites."

"Good choices," Jake told her.

"So what classes do you guys have?" She asked us all as she checked her phone for the time. I did the same. We had five minutes until lunch was over. Oh joy.

"All of the classes you have," Jinxx replied, pulling out his schedule and scowling at it. "First period, Economics. Second period, Advanced Choir. Third period, AP English 12. Fourth period, Spanish II. Fifth period, Algebra II. Sixth period, P.E. And seventh period, Biology. May I ask why you have things like AP English and then you have low classes like Biology which should've been taken in your like Sophomore year?" He actually looked quite confused.

"That's because I don't actually take those classes, I'm a Teacher's Aid in them. The only classes I actually take are Advanced Choir, AP English, and P.E. Since I started taking summer courses, I've pretty much maxed out all of my educational classes. It was either be a T.A. or take electives like welding and stuff. Not my thing really so yeah... How come you guys are taking all of the classes I am?"

"You are the one who set this up. We figured that we'd get to know you better." Ashley told her, smirking at her for some unknown reason. She shrugged.

"So how come you guys are wearing your war paint?" She asked us. "I'd heard you had stopped doing it."

"We have. We just thought it'd be funny to see people's reactions to it," I laughed. "Needless to say, it had the desired affect."

She chuckled. "Yeah, it did."

I heard the bell ring, signally it was time to start heading to fifth period, which, according to Jinxx, was Algebra II. Joy... I'd passed that class once before, and I hadn't liked it much then. I doubt I will now. I was snapped from my day dreaming by Katrina's voice.

"So since I'm the only one her that knows how to get to class," she said as she stood up and began to gather her books from the ground. "Does this make me your chauffeur?"

"Yeah, I guess it does," I said as I too rose from my seat.

"Okay then," she replied cheerfully as she hooked her arm through CC's and mine. "Shall we?"

This should be fun...

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fratboyfaith · 5 years

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coming out!

okay, so, maybe i should start at the beginning?

yeah, okay. here we go.

history

as far back as I can remember, i’ve had crushes. like, almost an abnormal amount for such a young kid ahahah. want proof? every year of school I had a crush on at least one person, holy fuck. good god, i would have so many crushes on these random boys i never even talked to and i’d be in a constant dreamy state due to it.

i would watch movies and dream of experiencing the same things those women (who are literally faking love) portray on television.

i had my real first kiss at 5, with a girl

actually, she was the furthest I ever went with anyone, later on.

my “first kiss”, you know, the one that’s ‘the first’ as a pre-teen where it’s all awkward and shit, i had behind a library at 14

but when he kissed me, or rather, when I grabbed his face and kissed him because he was too hesitant to make the first move…

i felt nothing.

you know in movies, books, for god’s sake even songs, that thing…that tingle? apparently there’s this tingle you’re supposed to get? or that feeling you get when you’re with someone you ‘like-like’ -since we’re talking about 14 year olds

I didn’t feel that attraction, I didn’t feel anything. when we dated for a short period of time — the way grade nines do, you know — i felt nothing.

I mean, I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with him, we hadn’t known each other that long, but when I say nothing happened, like I didn’t feel a single thing. before, during, and after.

we broke up a few days later due to my lack of affection, and of course the fact that he wanted someone else.

when we broke up, I didn’t get mad, didn’t get upset, didn’t feel anything.

I was just trying to follow the ‘normal teenager’ thing to do.

being 14, i just wanted to be as normal as possible.

experience

so then, i kept trying.

because to a 14 year old a boyfriend was such a big priority.

i made friends with a nice boy, we’re still friends to this day

what a great guy he is, and i’m honestly so glad he found someone he can spend his life with

we hit it off back the same year, 2014, everything was great

but then something shut off.

that was the start of me thinking there was something legitimately wrong with me for 6 years

right before we were about to date,

my whole opinion of him changed in literally in a blink.

like, it all shut off, that feeling… like, the attraction?

so, since all those feelings just *disappeared*, so did I out of his life.

this was a continuous thing from grade 9 to present day, ever since I started dating.

every single time I would go out with a guy, within days I would lose all feelings

and the weird part was that it never bothered me.

I never felt sad for losing feelings.

they just switched off as soon as we got close.

and the whole time, I thought there was always something wrong with me

like, there was nothing wrong with these people, most of my ex’s are quality* people!

*although there was one guy I dated who threatened me and told me to “drop dead” bc i broke up with him due to this ‘problem’ I thought I had. so that wasn’t really cool tbh

I kept trying so hard to find someone who I didn’t instantly lose feelings for as soon as we got close

i went through 27 people, in those 6 years, and every single one I lost feelings for instantly either right before being asked to be their girlfriend, or days after we started dating.

i always thought there was something wrong about me, and i hated myself for it.

i resorted to ghosting to every person who tried to get to my heart because the feelings were never mutual in my case,

for 6 years i ghosted so many people — even before it was called ghosting

and looking back now I can acknowledge that it was so wrong to do that…if I had the mind i did when i was 14 and started experiencing this, i wouldn’t of resorted to ghosting.

but the idea of spending one more single day with a person i had lost all feelings for... to the point where it would make me uncomfortable to even be near them, was too much for me to handle.

so i broke up with the past partners, and ghosted the could-have-beens, so i wasn’t feeling this horrible discomfort, and i didn’t want to lie to them and fake my feelings for their happiness... because in my eyes that’s worse.

2018 me would have totally given an explanation bc ghosting is not cool at all.

i just shut out their feelings, because mine were already gone prior.

being i didn’t know what was ‘wrong’ with me, this was the only option in my eyes.

fast forward to last year (2017)

i met someone, we really clicked well, everything was going great, he showed me the classiness of dating that no one had shown me before

but it still happened (gosh darn)

I lost every feeling that i was trying so hard to hold onto

but no matter how hard my grip was, it always slipped out of my fingers.

obviously now i see that ghosting is such a dick move lol

so i actually gave him an explanation! he became the first guy I came out to! (further on the coming out part in like 5 or 6 sentences i know this is so long)

realization

in october 2017 i started digging deep into how i function as a person and trying to learn more about who i am..

i started to research a little, but gave up quickly.

like how do you try and explain in the google search bar that every time anyone tries to get close with you, you lose all feelings and shut them out instantly?

then it hit me

my voice in my head literally said to me ‘oh shit what if i’m asexual’

i spent the next 72 hours in my room researching everything about asexuality.

i found out there’s nothing wrong with me, and holy fuck was that a weight of my shoulders.

i discovered so much information and found out there are so many different kinds of asexuality.

the way ash hardell explained it in such depth... it’s like everything made sense. it’s like when she gave the definition for lithromantic/sexual it was about me.

i was so relieved, man you have no idea how relieved i was.

all of a sudden this ‘problem’ i had wasn’t a problem.

november 3rd 2017 to my mom, dad, and my best friend of 7 years, I came out as asexual.

i was so scared. like, usually i never get nervous. tests? exams? psh, if anything i’m too laidback and unworried.

my mom said to me “life can be just as fulfilling without having to get married or date, you can have amazing friends and support without a significant other” she was so accepting and supportive.

my Conservative Christian father told me “well, maybe you haven’t met the right boy yet that’s all”

lol what the fuck

it’s like… if a man comes out as gay, and someone were to say “maybe you haven’t met the right girl yet that’s all”

funny enough, even when I told my close friend —at the time— who was coincidentally homosexual, he said the same thing to me, which baffles me because I would have thought him all people would understand the difficulty of coming out and having everyone judge you because you’re different.

and furthermore, for the next month, that "you just haven’t met the right guy” quote was all I heard from everyone.

i went silent for a year.

every person i told, granted it was only a few of close friends and my parents, told me the same thing.

pretty sure only one person didn’t use that line on me, so thanks anGeLiNa ilysm <3

lesson: if someone is coming out don’t say shit like

“maybe you just haven’t met the perfect guy yet”

bc if they’ve gone through the difficulty of this, they’re probably PRETTY SURE that’s not gonna be the ‘cure-all’ remedy.

for a year I held my tongue even though I knew the truth about myself, I was afraid of being stigmatized or told the same thing everyone else did.

until a few days ago, i was in this state of holding it all in for 13 months.

i was unsure if i should tell my new college friends, i was worried no one would like me. i feared stigmatization, i feared guys would think i was a prude

i didn’t want to spend all my time trying to explain a sexual orientation i didn’t even 100% understand myself

I always liked the concept of falling in love, it used to be all I’d think about when I was younger

I see young couples holding hands walking in stores or down the street and i sigh because i wish i had that.

the concept of love really got me.

I would still have these crushes too, but I would never pursue them just because I never had an interest to.. and when I would, I would lose feelings instantly because deep within I never wanted intimacy.

so in my sociology class last week, asexuality was the topic we were learning, and with that it brought everything back

like a year hadn’t even passed.

but this time i was determined for some answers.

when I came out to my family and keona (to me, she is also family) I was still hesitant… for god’s sake I was hesitant until yesterday.

I didn’t like the feeling of this label making me *doomed to never love* as I still like the concept of love

but I needed to be honest with what i really want

when I’m in a relationship, i’m not happy.

romantic reciprocation towards me makes me uncomfortable, it’s just who I am.

so why force it if it’s something i truly do not want?

it doesn’t make me sad anymore, it used to. I always liked the idea of dating having an S/O, but in reality, deep within, for me.. I do not want that. I simply like the idea. I can’t change me, as soon as I discovered asexuality, i no longer saw it as problem anymore — if anything it takes soooooooo much pressure off.

so yeah,

I still get attracted to guys. (and girls oooo fun additional tidbit)

still get crushes.

still walk by people and look them up and down bc damn hello *wink*

yeah i get horny i’m not a nun

yeah, i have a great personal sexual life

i’m not a fucking robot lol

yeah i’ll still flirt with you for fun

simply put: I just don’t want to be romantically or sexually close with someone else.

I have no desire to, and I’m okay with that

I’m still learning all of this as I go along,

i have wonderful friends who support and love me and that is all I could ever ask for <3

i don’t see the high point of my life to be having kids or getting married tbh, i don’t actually even see that ever happening.

no, life isn’t lonely, I love my solitude and I gain so much positivity and love from my family, friends, and the people around me.

yesterday (dec 10th) i finally accepted myself — after countless years of trying to do something i’m not programmed to do.

i’m asexual/aromantic

literally am the same person as i was yesterday, last week, and last year

all this is, is a label and an event of acceptance of myself

not changing anything about myself

I am simple acknowledging who i am, and letting it be known, so I can further accept it myself and grow ♡

with doing this, I feel SOOOOO good oh my GOD

this was such a happy thing for me to write! this is a day of freaking celebration!

like, i don’t have to keep trying be something i’m not and it feels wonderful

i can finally start focusing on my version of happiness instead of trying to accomplish the traditional happiness…which ironically never made me happy.

my #1 girl is named faith and i’m focusing on her happiness, and this was a big acceptance chapter I needed to get through in order for her to flourish further.

thank you for reading!

tbh i’m not even going to proofread this so if there’s spelling mistakes my uPmOsT aPoLogiEs~

#asexual #lithromantic #lithsexual #lith #akoisexual #akoiromantic #ace #comingout

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chckpeas · 5 years

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Entry 1. Starting with a bang.

Posted and wrote this on the 8th of January, 2019. There are a lot of things that started with a bang in the past year, literally and figuratively speaking. I mean when I heard I got into my preferred study I was overwhelmed and literally felt like that my life was finally coming together. Other things that started with a bang were these two particular individuals that I came to know over the past year. I feel like as this is the first entry I’m writing, I’m starting with a bang here as well haha. So why this post? Well, my motto is to write (or blog) shit out. Besides that, I have a tragic tendency to overshare and spurt out my feelings and encounters I had when I’m in an emotional compromised situation. I wouldn’t say that I’m currently in one, however, there have been a few things I haven’t quite been able to ‘write out’. Maybe this will help. Or not, then I will probably delete this. Sit back and enjoy the juices of the following abnormal and descriptive stories I’m about to pour out about my more than underwhelming love experiences of the past year –- 2 or maybe 3 in particular, depending on how long I feel like writing for. I don’t want to sound like every other basic bitch who complains about love. Even though I am a ‘hopeless romantic’, deep inside I fucking cannot stand talking (or writing) about love. Which is probably where some of my issues lie but I’ll leave that for some self-reflective entries in the future lmao.

Experience 1:

I’m pretty sure that you will read this but like I decided to not give a fuck anymore so let’s go. Looking back, I realize what a tragic little thing I was. Sorry to say, but you also kinda have some asshole tendencies, or at least that’s how I interpreted some of the shit you said to me. You may not have intended it like that, but that’s how some of the things you said came across. Anyways, I did have fun with you. It’s those fun things I’m trying to remember and are the reason why I feel like I might still want you in my life as a friend or whatever. I mean you’re super smart, funny, politically aware, have a great taste in music and are overall one of the best people to talk to. Seriously.

I remember when we met for the first time, we had an instant click -- at least that’s what I thought. It wasn’t awkward at all and I felt like I knew you forever. Something I have yet to this day not had before. The fact that you told me some deep personal shit and later on introduced me to your friends -- pretty sure that wasn’t planned tho, or maybe it was? -- made me open up to the idea of liking you haha.

I know for a fact that I liked you more than you liked me. At the time I thought it was okay. Maybe I was a bit naïve and looked into things more than you meant them to be. Looking back on it now, I’m not sure if I was ‘in love with/fond of you’ or just liked the idea of having with someone in general.

I don’t want to get into it too much, but I can safely say that I am over you. There was a period I missed you, quite a lot actually, but then life happened. I guess that I have desensitized myself too much. I realise that this entry may sound like you were my first love, haha. Definitely not sry.

The relation of this experience and the title. Hard but then again simple to explain. It’s too personal.

Experience 2:

This experience probably won’t make a lot of sense -- or may it will. I’m not really sure if this counts as one of my ‘love’ experiences as I have yet to fall in love with this person.

Our conversation may have been through text but we hit it off really well. We both acknowledged that we ‘right’ for each other and that we were basically everything that we looked for in someone. You told me that I was one of the most intriguing people you met which is probably one of the best compliments I have ever gotten -- or you just haven’t met a lot of intriguing people. It’s sweet, people have told me a lot of things, but never intriguing. Anyways, I thought you were funny and extremely nice -- you are literally one of the nicest people I have met --, maybe even too nice. So how we actually met. We went on quite a few dates actually, at least that’s what you called them. I think our first date was at 7 in the morning after we both had gone out. I was just in bed and you called me with the genius idea to meet up. We talked until like 10 at the water near my house. Also some deep shit tbh. Our second date was kinda awkward. Idk why. I felt like I knew too much about you or something. As extroverted as you are you can be extremely introverted as well -- like me.

Our third ‘date’ was meeting each other after haven’t spoken to you in like 2 months. We went out together. At the end of the evening, you brought me home and we made out for a looooooong time in front of my driveway. You’re probably one of the best persons I have kissed. However, my neck wasn’t all too happy for the next couple of days as you’re so tall.

Met up with you another time when I was drunk, and you were sadly enough very sober. I said some cringy shit and basically assaulted you, I now realise. Since that our contact has consisted of you-up texts and drunken snaps meant for your friends that you ‘acciddentally’ sent to me, about me.

I could've/should’ve put more effort in you but I had written you off as too nice and got distracted by other people. We have made plans for after your exams and I hope I can like ‘repair’ shit. -- sry deleted the third experience cuz ye --

And this is where I stop cuz this entry is soooooooo long. Whoever read this, i hope you enjoyed it. I spent 1,5 hours writing it instead of studying lololol. Maybe I’ll update it later.

#tragic #love #imatragicperson #journalentriesbyblckquality

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oakandcirrus · 2 years

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hello this is a rant. skip if you like. contents include freaking out about what im going to do after highschool, and feelings of nostalgia, alienation, and slightly philisophical thoughts

oh my god i dont want to go to school i dont want to deal with job interviews and dmv appointments i just want to live in a cabin and wake up with the sun and go to sleep when night falls and start the day with a cup of coffee or tea and a mountain sunrise and the smell of pineneedles and so obviously the next logical step...

was look up jobs and internships in the national parks service because hello im graduating soon which apparently means i need to become a functional independent person, which one, is scary. i hate being one of those people that is like oh my god the real world is terrifying and confusing and i cant handle it and i want to wrap myself in a blanket and never go outside but..... the real world is terrifying and confusing and i cant handle it and i want to wrap myself in a blanket and never go outside.

anyway so i looked up internships and there are a few where you can just. Move to these national parks and work there for a summer or a year or whatever and even if i applied and even if i got in oh my god id be totally alone and knowing me knowing how somehow, over the last three years, ive completely lost my ability to socialize or make real friends which sucks soooooooo much cuz i dont want to be the weird guy at work who's awkward and doesn't really talk to people. like if i hadn't made friends freshman and sophomore year i would be so fucked right now i wouldnt be talking to anyone. so yeah going to like moving to fuckin yellowstone or yosemite for a summer sounds so cool but also id be scared and probably alone and oh my god im like. a total fucking wimp. i need somebody to hit me in the face with a rolled up newspaper and tell me to pull myself together.

and im just thinking about what it would be like to just live. like those first three weeks of quarantine where there was no school and nothing happening and people were struggling to adjust to isolation i absolutely thrived it was so so amazing id wake up and id read a little then maybe i'd write then i'd make myself some lunch and practice my ukelele and read some more and write some more and go outside and look at the sky and i baked lemon bars and bread and it was so magical how all my stress just disappeared it was like i was floating.

and now im back in school and being hurled into the adult world with no map or bearings wondering how the hell anybody before me figured this shit out on their own and i just cant stop thinking and worrying and panicking because im so not normal i dont blend in easily to the world i dont function the way people are supposed to function i get stressed easily and i cant focus on anything that requires large amounts of brain power for long periods of time and i really only know how to socialize by mirroring people around me and im so bad at making friends that i care about which sounds horrible but my god none of my friends really understand me i just feel like very alienated and like i dont belong anywhere and that's a very shitty feeling. all i want is a home filled with art and books and warm flannel blankets and a few friends that get me, that know my quirks, people who i forget to feel anxious around.

like i remember when i went to church all the goddamned time and it was like family we were all so comfortable with each other i could walk up to a group of people talking and just join in and i could lean my head on one of my friends' shoulders like it was a totally normal thing to do and i could sit in silence with somebody and feel at home. one thing church did right for me was make me feel like i was safe and that i couldnt be rejected---of course that was before i realized i was queer but that's a story for another time---because we'd go on trips and have to share cabins and hotel rooms and occasionally beds and we got used to each other and we knew all of our individual oddities and it was peaceful. i'd hack off a toe to have that again. i constantly feel so so so anxious like if i say the wrong thing im gonna fuck everything up and it's just like there's this motor constantly turning and i cant turn it off cant let my guard down. id love to feel safe enough around someone to lean on them, or to just casually hug them. or god to fall asleep. i dont even know why but the idea of falling asleep around my friends is a little nerve-racking.

all of this is to say how much i dont like being alone. like yeah i like going hiking alone. i like sitting on the beach alone. i like going to coffee shops alone. i like doing a great variety of things alone. but i know that when i come back from wherever there is going to be somebody there who's glad to see me, who's glad to know i made it back safely, who wants to know about what happened while i was gone, who i feel comfortable enough with to just sit and watch fucking criminal minds into the wee hours of the morning with. and im terrified that when i start my own life, that's all going to disappear. i just want a little ragtag group of wilderness loving queers and maybe a guy to go on camping trips with and threaten with drowning and to dry dishes after i wash them.

but also. a cabin would be so nice and so sexy. oh to be a mountain man.

the end.

#luke.txt #like god. the dream would be to have a house we all come back to after doing whatever the days tasks were where i cook and somebody grows #food and another one of us is the designated spider killer and maintenance person #and we all sit at the table and talk so so much #like a firehouse or fucking stark tower #one day. if im lucky

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brahnabischh · 7 years

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in the beginning

… my period is coming. i’m over emotional today. i can’t deal. i just can’t ✋🏾✋🏾

first off , i moved … i’m in Maryland now with Chelle and Jah. been here since late Friday early Saturday (6/17-18) of course it’s supposed to be for the better– new environment , new people , new opportunities , new beginning. i’m all for it .. clearly because i’m here. but now that i’m all the shitty things i thought i could handle are fooling with my head something serious right now. i didn’t want to come simply because i didn’t want to have to put my problems on anyone else .. or become any kind of burden or extra weight to anyone. although i understand i’m a grown ass woman , i still need a lot of help with things that i haven’t quite comes to terms with as far as my pride is concerned. i don’t want to disappoint anyone else .. let alone myself any more than i already have.

i was supposed to [so word had it] come work with my godmother at Sally’s for now to at least have something to do .. keep busy , make money , take care of my responsibilities. needless to say that hasn’t happened or even been apart of conversation in Sally’s yet. so i’m not working , making money , handling my responsibilities. on top of that i have to get my license and tags on my car renewed .. which i cannot do without my birth certificate. mind you , i haven’t seen the two original copies of that shit since Abby got kicked out and took them in the bag i used to use to go to kennessaw with. now the process of getting my birth certificate AGAIN consists of 1st ; ordering it online. 2nd ; submitting a notarized request form to alameda county records people. 3rd ; wait for them to receive and accept my request. and finally ; send off my certificate. and all of this takes up to 15 business days depending on when they get the notarized form. so now that means for the next two weeks or so i will be doing absolutely NOTHING! but waiting for my cousins to get off work and do some shit with me. i don’t have money , i can’t drive my car , and I don’t know anyone here anymore besides the four of them.

i was going to go see my grandmother and spend some time with her for the time being .. but tickets to get to her cost at the very least {from what i say tonight} one hundred eighty nine dollars. remember i don’t have any money , nor steady income what so ever …. so my grandmother would have to front the bill and then pay for whatever else we/i do when i get there. it’s bad enough she gave me almost her last to help move me and my vehicle here , i don’t want her to spend anymore than she has to. plus she has her own obligations and responsibilities to attend to , she can’t be my little personal lending tree. although i know she would want me to come regardless .. i can’t keep doing that to her. she told me the other day i got her punching the clock .. or in other words she has to bust ass and grind to earn her money to do for me. that shit sucks. it makes me feel so shitty. and of course i can oblige myself to paying her back when i don’t even know when , where or how i’ll get the money in the first place.

i try to stay positive and optimistic about this move– saying everything happens for a reason. i came to better my life and get back on track– quit worrying yourself , God got you. just trust he’s out for your best interest … but it’s soooooo hard to put my pride aside and let people help me. and it’s soooooooo hard to not worry about what i’m unsure of when i don’t have anything else to do but sit and think about all these things on a regular basis. i told God that i washed my hands of the whole situation and that i trust him completely. he knows what’s best. his will be done .. not mine. but JESUS!! it’s so hard. smh. it’s sooooo hard. i’m trying to be patient and let things play out since i deadass can’t do anything but wait .. but i’ve been waiting patiently for things to change and get better for the LONGEST! i know these last four years weren’t totally wasted. i hadn’t gone through all the mess i’ve been through over those years for nothing. there’s a reason for everything. but good gravy! something has GOT to give!!!!!!

and then there’s my boyfriend situation. Justin Wilcox is the most interested in being WITH someone i have ever been in like .. all of ever. honestly. since we started talking back in around February of 2015 i’ve wanted to be nothing but honest with this man. all the other times i’ve liked someone or started a “situationship” with them there was a certain role i knew to play. it was either straight about sex or just some kind of secrecy. i’ve started relationships off of /what was supposed to be/ one night stands .. or lies and that’s not what i wanted with him. he’s such a good feel it’s ridiculous. i’ve told him about a lot of things i may not even fully realize i’ve even informed him of in just the friendship part of our relationship it scares me. i’ve confided in him about things i wouldn’t even talk to my parents about. I never lied to him about my money issues , my family issues , my living situation , my legal situation … he knows all of it. he told me in the beginning that i had to work for something with him. said he wanted me to be his little boo but i had to act right first. so we got to know each other some first. but knowing what i’ve known about men and boys i’ve dealt with before .. i never minded anything he’s said about wanting to be with me. trying a relationship. basically being the lady on his side. i thought it all was bullshit. he just wanted some ass and i really didn’t mind giving it to him. hell i never did before. but of course like everything else potentially good for me , i let myself get distracted from him and sort of put him to the side. all for Richard’s ass .. which was the DUMBEST decision at the time. but i’m hardheaded and stubborn , so you know you can’t tell me anything. he knocked me off my “boo” pedestal i was on because i wasn’t “acting right” lol. we’d talk on and off , whenever i decided not to ignore his call or messages .. there was even a time i was igg'ing him and he saw me at the trap and just looked at me like 👀 damn you just don’t fuck with the kid anymore. of course i didn’t give a shit at the time. my nose was wide open under someone else’s ass … i even blocked him from my phone for a hot little minute. long story short .. we got back in contact with each other i want to say after i added him on snapchat. he hit my phone , of course on some damn tf happened type shit. and we’ve been kicking shit ever since.

he’d always tell me he wanted to be with me like forreal forreal. always expressed his intentions. always been honest (as far as i know). always asked what the hell i was running from or why i was playing with him. always talked shit about me not wanting to be his boo and all this. i remember a conversation we had after we talked for the first time since he had been blocked and he was upset. he was like i told you my intentions with you , i’m not playing. all this good shit. and i just explained to him that i needed to get my shit together. i didn’t want to start anything with him i couldn’t handle. i didn’t have a car .. my job at the bar was becoming shit , i wouldn’t be able to be the girlfriend or “boo” i would want to be for him. if he called and wanted me to come bring him some food , i couldn’t .. how with no money. i couldn’t meet him anywhere or come to him when he wanted .. how with no car of my own. and i was too prideful to always have to ask my mom to use her car without telling them what for. [[ although like i said earlier , i am a grown ass women. i have no reason to lie , or hide anything from anyone … that was the childish part of me. felt like i needed to hide dudes from my parents when they weren’t going to meet them. i didn’t know this man was going to actually make me his girl or not just want some booty. all i knew was my parents would ask a kagillion questions as if we were going to be serious and dating , or they’d think i was some kind of hoe if they knew about buddy and never met him. if that makes any kind of sense. all just still being the scary little timid and secretive girl i’ve always been. ]] but he said he didn’t care about all of that. whatever i was going through or working on we could work on and go through together. he was very persistent and adamant about us at least trying something out. he’d come see me at work when he could. and always was on my phone. by this time I was boo again. i finally let him take me out .. we went to have drinks at Applebee’s (how romantic right? 😂) but being out in public , not having to sneak , or hide .. felt so good. we went to Walmart afterwards. said he needed to get some groceries for his house … for me to cook him. HA! but from the time we left the restaurant , to the time we spent in the car , to the time spent shopping , even to him taking me back to the car so we could go our separate ways for the night i felt like he was someone i could really try some shit with. he never said too much about us having sex. never did extra shit to get me to come to his house .. none of that. i deadass liked this man. now at this point Richard and i were still involved with each other but time was winding down. i wanted Justin. couldn’t do too much with Richard’s ass any who … but i was giving him the cold shoulder to the highest degree. the night i really realized Justin and i were on the same accord was the night Richard pulled up on me at the house. i told Justin i wanted to see him and asked if he could come through for a minute. he did .. and we sat outside in the driveway for a little minute. talking. chilling. whole time my phone was going bizzurk. Richard was calling and texting me , talking about answer this next call or else. i was trying to find a reason to leave Justin but i didn’t want to lie to him. i did anyway. told him my little sister was looking for me and i needed to go back inside. all of a sudden , i hear/see an orange Camaro come rolling past the house and down the street. who else would it be than Richard’s ass. Justin’s windows aren’t tented so he saw very clearly who was in the car. i open the door and try to escape without being any more weird than i was already acting towards Justin. as i’m dismissing myself trying to stay calm , Richard’s ass pulls up in front of the house and watches. Justin asked was whoever it was in the car for me .. i lied and told him no. said he must’ve came looking for my dad or something. told him i’d see him later and rushing to close the door hoping for the absolute least to transpire at this time. he backs up and pulls off and i see Richard looking like “who tf is this nigga!” i start walking to the carport to go back inside and he pulls along side the entrance to the driveway and tells me to come here. i said no and tried to keep walking , he keeps saying come here , said he’s not going to do anything , just come here. i told him no again and was not trying to deal with anything he had to throw at me. he says something to me about not making him get out be car , but i wasn’t worried about any of that shit. we were outside my parent’s house and my daddy was home. he wasn’t about to act fool or do anything to draw attention to himself with that being considered. so he pulls off highly pissed and calls me. i answer and he’s going off about me being in the car with some nigga and what the hell we had to talk about that i couldn’t call and talk to Richard about. blah blah blah. this nigga then proceeds to fly down the road to catch up to Justin. buddy pulls up on him at the damn light and asks – while i’m still on the phone – “aye what’s up with you and Bri? yah talk?!” whole time i’m like really bruh. are you fucking kidding me. mind you dude is 39yrs old .. and had just cheated on me in the most major way! but nonetheless still too grown to be acting like that. of course during this whole thing Justin is texting and calling me trying to see what’s really good. he even text me from some random ass number saying “say” like ‘aye what tf is all of this shit?!?’ i text him and explained that Richard was my ex and he was crazy and wouldn’t leave me alone. told him I didn’t want him to get caught in the midst of all this shit because i really did like him and he didn’t deserve any of that. he explained what happened at the stoplight and how he told buddy we didn’t talk or whatever to help save my ass. said Richard said something about me not being able to talk to him (Richard) because I said i was talking to him (Justin) i told him i really really liked him and wanted this shit to ride because i really feel like we connect in a way i hadn’t with anyone else and that we could really build some great shit and have a dope ass relationship. no bullshit all games and jokes aside.he expressed that he already explained his intentions with me and how he deadass liked me … he felt everything i was saying and he even agreed. said he wasn’t even mad at me for all that , just didn’t want me to be fucking with him or trying to play him. from that moment on i knew that he deserved a shot and it was a 95%+ chance that he was being deadass genuine. some good really could come of this. time goes by , he comes to see me at work , i come kick shit with him at his house .. we had sex for the first time on March 6th. and for the first time i actually was happy i hadn’t given myself to him earlier.

…. wait , back to the purpose of me writing. lol. that went on longer than i expected to explain. 😂

anywho. we had grown so accustomed to being together and in arms reach at all times , the reality of me leaving was hitting us harder than we’d planned. i’m not just gone a few driving hours away to where i could come visit or vice versa on the weekends or however often we’d like. i’m deadass gone far enough away that we’d actually have to sit and plan out the time we’d visit and spend. going to sleep and waking up without him is so irritating at times. i miss my baby sooo much. and it’s killing me right now because i don’t know when i’ll see him next. we talked about him moving here .. or he said he’d be up this way by August .. all of this was really fucking with him and he wants us to be together. i want to believe he would do so but i don’t. i can’t seriously expect this man to drop his whole life , stop everything he’d been working so hard for , and come following after me. that’s too much responsibility on me. and too much stress and strain on him.

missing him combined with everything else racing around my head just makes me wish i hadn’t have left in the first place. although i know i needed to go now because if i hadn’t now , i never would have. and i would’ve been stuck in the same shit yet another year. but like i said .. it’s all for the best. maybe this is even supposed to help challenge our trust and relationship. who knows.

as if it’s not bad enough i can’t see him and touch him. look into his eyes , smell his skin , kiss his lips .. must i go on? i tell him today that we needed to set some sort of goal to look forward to that could help us meet in the middle as far as us being together physically. he says he plans on leaving at the most within the next year and a half. clearly not August like he sad at the gym. it’s cool though. except the fact idk what’s the middle for us , i don’t know where he would want to move to , i don’t know what would be asking too much of him , hell i don’t even know how long it’ll take for me to get my shit together here. and the last thing i would want to happen is allow the time spent away linger on too long and we eventually get used to not being with each other or catch interest in someone else and that just be it. this all happened so early on in our relationship , and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it right now but wait. we still have a lot of foundation to add to our beginning .. how the hell can we do that when we can’t even see each other. i mean i guess it’s good that we’ll be able to truly miss each other and we’re forced to talk more often now .. but all this in my head shit is getting to me.

i just want everything to fall into place the way that i see it happening and everything being so peachy keen … but what if what i want isn’t what is supposed to be? i don’t want to waste his or my time unnecessarily. i don’t want to be hurt. and i damn sure don’t want to hurt him. i mean i do have the reassurance that we both ultimately want the same thing. ride this thing until the wheels fall off. i just hope and pray that he really means and lives by what he says. i REALLY and TRULY have some serious feelings continuously growing for him. i mean it’s so serious i even pray for him. not just a little God bless my boyfriend. or a God keep him for me. or anything to do with me. i just pray for him in general. the very first time i did we were laying in the bed and he was asleep for the night. i put my hand on his head/face and i prayed for that man head to toe. and i have never genuinely just prayed for a significant other besides when they went through something or me asking the Lord to help me keep them or whatever.

i know ultimately all of this will be worth it. i know that things will get better for my life. i’m not worried about the outcome of me moving here. i’m just stressing myself while i’m in the process of .. you know? this will be fine. i will be fine. and if it’s really meant for bae and i to be anything , it’ll work out. i just don’t want to go through all of this in my own head mess anymore. if anyone knows the cure to this madness , PLEASE share!! hell. this shit sucks right now. and i don’t have bae to lay with or cuddle up next to when i do have my vulnerable and saddening moments. it’s tough. really really tough.

yet I still stand firm and say Thank You Jesus! 🙌🏾 this battle is not mine , but yours. have your way Lord. have your way.

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strawberryspeachy · 5 years

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Part 1))- washed my hair today. It’s doing that thing where it does those cute giant curled parts. I get my hair permanently straightened. It costs me anywhere from 100-180 dollars every 6 or so months. I have been the one pay for this since 2010. However. My mother is the one who initially found a place offering the service I wanted in Philly — granted I didn’t go to the one she found cause it was like a class of some sort and I found a better place down the road in Chinatown. But credit to her for being the only one to listen to me in the 2 years I was pleading to get the Japanese thermal straightening

——- about a year ago when she saw my hair doing this she went on rant about how she’s paying so much money for my hair to be straight why is it curled.

Of all the things I complain about in regards to my hair.... it’s amazing that... just that. I’ve never complained about the random waviness my straightened hair will get sometimes. 1) it’s random 2) is mostly straight which is 10000x better than the growth I’m currently dealing with since I haven’t gone in almost 8 months. Really tight super spiral curls that only look that way right out of the water. All they do is frizz and tie together. I spent 40 minutes brushing JUST THE GROWTH and my hair doesn’t even grow fast. And everytime I have to brush huge knots out of my hair I’m reminded why I hated having curly hair my whole life and why it was always in two braids.

One of the best thing about having straight hair is the ability to wake up and walk out of the house. I couldn’t do that with curly hair. The knots are so bad that putting a had one just pulls it all in the wrong way and hurts AND the knots are too big to even fit the hat on my head. And that’s just from sleeping.

Part 2)) my hairs been falling out due to stress the past few years. It started in 2014 when my entire college friend group left me. And then I became bulimic and tried to kill myself several times and my hair decreased in length by half. The next time I got severe loss is when I took that birth control shot and I had hair loss the last time I tried birth control... and for the past two years I’ve just been super stressed and when to the dermatologist to see if anything else was wrong (granted last time I went she did offer to give me a biopsy but I don’t want to lose MORE never growing back hair forbit or encase I gotta go get ANOTHER esp since) she listed about 20 stressers that cause hair loss and I have 19 of them

So yea stress makes me lose hair

I’ve always shed more in the winter anyhow

ANDDD when I had curly hair I lost enough hair all the time for me mom to look in the drain and be like !!!!!!!!!!! And I was just like oh yeah no that’s normal. And I had pretty thick hair through school despite that —— that said when new growth comes in I’m like - yea that’s probably normal.

soooooooo years ago before my mom got bad she made a side comment about our house having “hard water” and told me it meant there’s more proteins in it so it bad for our skin and hair. I didn’t have either problem at the time and was like. Hm I guess the protiens are good for me. —- cause I’m dumb. And I haven’t thought much about it since.

Well I got my hair chemically straightened my senior year of high school and thus left for college soon after.

While I was in college I was super into beauty tutorials and did diu treatments all summer when I was home. And I guess the combination of helping my hair to stop the hard water damage and the fact that I had to wash egg out so I wasn’t super surprised to see a lot of hair come out... made me not think too much on it...

During short breaks I was still under the initial repulsion one gets upon entering my house and generally decided I’d wait till I got back to school to wash my hair

All that said. So i washed my hair at my House form 2015-2017. 2016 I had the depo shot.

End of 2017 my best friend moved back home. I’ve always basically lived at her house and since she was back I spent a lot of time going over to visit her. And because she has an actual shower and a cleaner house it’s seemed a lot easier to just wash my hair at her house a lot. Espeshally in the summer when I went over to swim all the time. And my hairs been growing and getting thicker.

Then I started working at the haunted house at the end of September and noticed my hair was an absolute mess. I attributed to having to wash it EVERY DAY which I generally don’t do.

I’ve been looking back at pics to see what’s going on since cause the year before my hair wasn’t that bad. In fact it was quite nice. Though I have forgotten I did give in to taking my mother to the gym periodically because she nagged me and they had a shower which is much easier than a bathtub.

Wel when I started working at the haunted house. I got home late and was tired so I started washing my hair at home mostly. And since then I’ve been super miserable and haven’t wanted to leave my house.

Last night While looking up if the chlorine was to blame for my hair loss (cause I did notice my hair get really bad a few years ago from swimming in cholorine) it said th coconut oil I was protecting my hair with should have worked but in the same post said hard water was to blame for this kind of problem

Anddddddddd

Suddenly I realized all that I just wrote.... apparently hard water can have PERMANENT LASTING DAMAGE TO THE HAIR FOLICULES SO IM SCARED OF THAT

And I guess it effects me more because the chemical straightening makes my hair weaker.

I was looking for some kind of filter but there are none for bathtubs

The ones for showers are like the Brita and need carterages and my grandfather would throw a fit at me for tampering with his shower anyway and having to share it with my family would mean if have to change it ALL the time

And the ones for the house are SUPER expensive

Sooooo

I went to my friends house to shower this morning..... guess I’m buying large water pails and refilling them at her house for when I have to wash my hair here

And dumb on me for not fogur by this put months ago and losing half my hair first.

I HAVE LOST HALF MY HAIR. ITS SUPER THIN. LIKE A THIRD OF WHAT IT WAS IN SEPTEMBER.

my longest couple strange are down to my butt. If I wasn’t so slow and stuper my hair could be the length I’ve wanted it to be for 20 years but no. Now it’s basically the same length it was 2 years ago cause the hair below was that point is so thin it barely counts as hair

I hate my life

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icingonthepage-blog · 7 years

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Can I just say I ABSOLUTELY love Medieval Times!! No seriously, just ask the husband. It is one of my favorite places to go outside of my kitchen. I literally have been there over ten times (half with him) and love it more every time I go. From the clothing to the food and the sport, every aspect of this time period interest me.

Yes I know I am an adult, but I don’t care who judges me!!!!

That being said, I went a little bit selfish and convinced The Group to have the next meeting at Medieval Times and as such, we needed to read something of that time frame to make a connection of sorts so the meeting spot is justified.

Makes sense right?

After doing some research and browsing a bit through all the titles available, we settled on Michael Crichton’s Timeline. Now I know some of us are a little late to the party as we didn’t realize that this book was released in the early 90’s, but best way to put it is better late than never.

I seriously think this has become one of my favorite books now. I couldn’t put it down and went cover to cover through it, practically turning back to page one the minute I finished. I loved the characters, the plot, every aspect of the book possible. Seriously….every aspect of the book lol.

Quick breakdown to get all of you whom haven’t read or heard about it interested and wanting to pick it up immediately…..

In the world (must be read in Mr. Movie voice) of pseudoscience, the subject of time travel is no longer just a mere thought or blueprint on a drawing board. It is a reality, one that allows people to take a peek into the past and experience the actual situation rather than relying on interpretations that may or may not be accurate.

In a world (again Mr. Movie voice…) created by Crichton, you can confirm theories, disprove myths, and obtain absolute information on the past. In Timeline, Crichton combines science (quantum technology) and medieval history to mold a heart-stopping adventure that doesn’t stop until the pages run out. A group of historians are given the opportunity to literally enter life in fourteenth-century feudal France to help rescue their mentor whom has become trapped at the site of their current research project.

Picture 1357 during the 100 years war between France and England when war, famine, and pure unbridled savagery ravaged the land in quest for glory, land, and riches. Best way to describe it is the team facing one danger after another as they try to uncover his whereabouts in hopes of rescuing him before the limited time window is up, trapping them forever in the past.

Professor Johnston’s little band of rather frightened, but intrepid archaeologists focus o

Gotta throw in some Monty right?

n their quest for knowledge which inevitably goes from bad to worst. Fighting their way through blood-thirsty knights and battle-hungry war lords intent on killing anyone that may appear to be loyal to the opposition, the team uses their skill sets and knowledge of the land and customs to survive their way across the site that they had been working to restore.

Prior to their travel, the team had been working to rebuild the site with the funding of the corporation ITC, which ultimately divulges that they have been working on the concept of time travel. ITC (aka a mad billionaire genius that controls it, Robert Doniger) is concerned mainly with making a good profit, (business is business naturally) rather than their safety and uses them to go back in time to cover up their previous failures and rescue the professor. (WHOOPS!!!)

With the use of camouflages and technologies that enable them to blend in, they are met with a variety of obstacles including sieges, secret passages in castles, endless conflicts, and cut- throat bandits hiding in the deep forest ready to slaughter.

All-in-all, this story is an adventure from start to finish. Anyone who loves a good adventure plot set to a backdrop of science and intrigue will be immersed into a tale of medieval magnificence that has each chapter leaving you eager to turn the page.

Sounds good huh?

That being said, I had to have an amazing dessert to pair with this book because, as I will reiterate and continue to encourage a second time, this book is now one of my favorites. I couldn’t very well just make chocolate chip cookies to go along with it for book club now could I???

Soooooooo I surfed through the recipe binder where I stock up ideas to try for the future and voila! I found one that deemed itself worthy…

May I present my Lords and Ladies………Twix Tarts!

Okay so the title is a little underwhelming, but the taste is anything but. Shortbread crust with Dulce de Leche and Chocolate Ganache on top….I think I heard your stomach rumbling there.

Fair warning, Tarts need to be served slightly cold. This helps keep the structure intact as well as benefits your palate as the chocolate can become too strong if you let it warm up. The colder the better in my opinion or have smaller serving sizes. I first made this in a

May have been too much shortbread, but it was soooo good

11in tart pan for the book club and then went back and made a second one for my employee appreciation week, along with a Fruity Pebbles Cheesecake, in a regular 9in springform pan. The 9in pan had a thicker crust (obviously) from the smaller diameter, but I ultimately liked it more as it cut the over power effects of the chocolate due to more crust/dulce in each bite. Either way, everyone’s mouths were too full to say anything bad….just my observations, but hey…what can I say. I’m my own worst critic 😉

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Twix Tart

Prep Time: 1hr 30min

Ingredients

1 can (14 oz) dulce de leche*

1 cup dark chocolate

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

2 1/2 cups chopped twix bars***

Crust

1 package of shortbread cookies (I used Kebler Sandies)

2/3 cups melted butter (unsalted or salted is fine)

Directions

To prepare the crust, add cookies to a food processor and process until crushed. Add melted butter and pulse until well combined. Mixture should resemble wet sand. Alternatively you can add the cookies to a large zip lock bag and crush using a rolling pin.

Add the crushed cookie mixture to a tart shell 30cm and use the back of a spoon to press down on the bottom and sides making sure it’s spread out evenly. Chill for 1 hour.

Microwave Dulce de Leche for about 30 second and mix until smooth. Add to tart shell and refrigerate.

To prepare ganache, start by adding dark chocolate to a large microwave safe bowl along with cream and microwave for 20 seconds at a time, mixing each time until smooth. Add to prepared shell followed by all the chopped Twix bars. Chill for 1 hour before serving.

* To cut the strong chocolate taste, you can add 1 1/2- 2 cans of dulce then top with chocolate so its not as strong. First tart I did, I followed the recipe, second had more dulce and tasted better as it was super sweet and too much to eat

** This is a rough estimate as it all depends on how much twix bars you’d like to put on top for garnishing. I left bigger chunks but you can cut them as small or as large as you’d like to top the tart with.

Recipe adapted from Tastemade

______________________________________________________________________________

Follow Icing on the Page for updates on the New book releases and recipes each week. Comment on options of the review/recipe, book request that you’d like us to look into, and questions or anything on your mind…

Twix Tarts and Timeline…. oh my Can I just say I ABSOLUTELY love Medieval Times!! No seriously, just ask the husband. It is one of my favorite places to go outside of my kitchen.

#Baking #Books #Butter #Cake #Candy #chocolate #Cookies #Cooking #dessert #Eat #food #Tart #Yummy

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teardropsandbs · 7 years

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Thank you 2011 for being one of the best years of my life. After 14 long years, Tom and I end up loving each other. Who would have thought that he’s going to be my husband? Seriously! LOL! Cliché but true, no one really knows what the future holds. I want to thank you, my dear 2011 for giving me lots of memories. You started so well by finally giving me a lovelife after how many lonely years haha! And not just that, I had the best of both worlds! I was given an opportunity to work in our Sales department and earn more hehe. My lil sister and I were able to travel to a foreign land together - HK. I was given a chance to visit my hometown, Manila. I was so happy to see my family and friends once again. Home will always be home.

When I came back here in Canada, I had a fun Ontario experience with friends. We went to Harris Hill in Lake of the Woods. Although, my fall and winter had been pretty much all about focusing on my benchmarks and targets, I learned to save up! Haha! I used to save to travel and/or buy stuff that I want but this year, I managed to be future-wise and know my priorities. Mainly because I got engaged! I became more matured because I finally realized what I really want in life. I want to be a wife. I want to be a mom. I want to grow old beside the man I love. Everything that I am doing right now is for my future, for my family and for the future family that Tom and I will have. This year, I surpassed the quarter-year. I have never been this driven, never been this happy and I think, now, I can say that I am growing up haha! Thank you God for all the blessings especially for my sister’s second life. That accident was a miracle! With You, Lord in our lives, we can overcome anything. I am looking forward for another awesome year. I can’t wait to be Mrs. Jun Carlos Custodio!

Thank you for my family and friends all over the world who made this year a memorable one! I need to get up now and dress up to welcome the new year. And oh, Happy 75th Birthday to my lolo back in Manila. We need to be home before the party starts to Skype and celebrate with them. Haha! So bye 2011! I know 2012 will be better but I will forever cherish you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

XO,

2012-01-01 02:47:53 2012-01-01 07:47:53 open Publish post 757991223 Homecoming xaxcxexlx Sun, 05 Jun 2011 15:02:01 -04:00

I'm actually up in the air somewhere in the Pacific on my way to Vancouver. We left Tokyo 4 hours ago so that means I'll be stuck on this aisle seat for another 5 hours. Beside me is an old Filipino man. He's very charming (not that I have a thing for old men), he's like my lolo, a funny gentleman. He was amazed that I speak fluent Tagalog and use po at opo because he thought I was born in Canada. I just finished watching all the travel documentary flicks on my seat TV. The last one was an episode of Billy Conolly's jaunt all over Canada, from East to West coast (made me wanna do that!). He spent 10 weeks travelling from St. John's to BC, exploring some of Canada's most remote locations. The film made me appreciate my second home. I've always hated moving to Winnipeg. Not only because it's boring compare to Manila but mainly because of my family and friends back in my homeland. I didn't cry when I left Manila earlier, maybe because I didn’t look at Tom. I don’t wanna look back at him. I don’t want to see him crying. I didn’t want to face the fact that I’m leaving the man that I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I was in denial that Manila is not my home anymore. I was born and raised as a Manila Girl. I party a lot! And I mean a lot! But Manila is not just about partying or drinking. You’ll only understand the difference between fun and happiness if you try to experience Manila life.

I spent 4 days in HK and 3 weeks in P.I. minus the 3 days that I got flu and just stayed in my bed while Tom took care of me. We were together all the time. Wherever I go, he goes. We haven’t fought yet, like a real bf-gf fight, and I hope not. I didn’t get the chance to visit my bestfriend, Karen and her baby Kyzer, my RGLC family and my boyfriend’s closest friends since we were in HS. 3 weeks was not even close to enough. I wish I could stay longer. Most of the stuff that I bought was just pasalubong, failed to buy those things I need for myself. But I had the greatest time of my life. Nothing beats visiting your hometown. And of course, spending time with Tomtom is the best part! I could not ask for more. After 14 long years of knowing each other, we never imagined ending up loving each other this much. Sadly, I had to leave and he has to fly back to Singapore as well. We have to be apart for a while first to be together forever.

I never planned my future with any guy before. I didn’t even want to get married. I’ve experienced all boys’ lies you could ever imagine first hand and got hurt as fck! But I never get tired of loving again. And when this guy came into my life, everything has changed. He made all the tears, heartaches and waiting all worth it. He was God’s final gift and He wrapped him with a bow. Haha! I am truly blessed, so thankful and much loved. I’ve never been in love like this before, never ever loved someone this much before and never been loved by someone this much before. I want to marry him.

He changed my perspectives in life. He made me want to have kids, eat veggies, learn how to cook, love what I hate and most importantly, trust a guy and love without fear. He’s just amaaazing! He makes me laugh, cry, smile, frown, smug, sing, dance, dream, blush, he just knows how to make me the happiest person ever! And that makes me love him more.

One year. We have a year to prepare for our future together. He’ll come here, and that’s huge for me! Nothing’s harder than leaving your family and friends back home. I should know! But Canada is my home now and it’s the only place and the only way for us to be together. In a few hours, I’ll be home. I have a day off before going back to work. A day to overcome jetlag, pay my $$$ Rogers bill, learn changes in my department and a Skype date. But whatever! I know I can get by. I don’t see these as problems. That vacation (especially Tom) gave me a brighter outlook ahead. No bad vibes! Cheers to happiness and to the future… at my home, Canada eh!

2011-06-05 12:17:53 2011-06-05 16:17:53 open Publish post 749357437 Lilo xaxcxexlx Sun, 05 Jun 2011 12:26:10 -04:00

I may be mean ignoring you, but could u blame me? You hurt me too many times. I treated you more than a best friend, loved u more than my own sister and cared for you like a mother. The happiest memories of my life were memories with you. My greatest, craziest and dumbest photos were with you. Yes, I miss you. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't trust you.

2011-02-20 01:53:40 2011-02-20 06:53:40 open Publish post 741726049 Lookbook.nu xaxcxexlx Tue, 21 Dec 2010 00:22:31 -05:00 Acel Libante on LOOKBOOK.nu 2010-12-21 00:21:51 2010-12-21 05:21:51 open Publish post 737620705 I Can't Stop LOL xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:24:10 -04:00

2010-07-10 23:17:40 2010-07-11 03:17:40 open Publish post 729939647 Fast Lane xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:31:16 -04:00

Hello everyone! I don't have much updates (again ;p). Just 'cause my sister's 18th is finally over (pics on my FB, click Facebook up there) and now I'm getting my "me-time" back. It feels like it was just yesterday when we were planning her party and now it's all over. Stressed and drained, I am. It feels fulfilling though. My sister was so happy on her night and so as her guests. She's going to Bora this week and have a week left to spend in Manila to shop (for my stuff too)! Anyway, I'm home alone. It's soooooooo hot outside! +26 on spring????!!!! Can u believe it?! Sun will set by pass 21:00 and Imma go out to jog or maybe eat dinner. It's gonna be this sunny for the whole week so it means I'm gonna wear sandals everyday! Yey! I have to shower now and enjoy the rest of the night!

2010-05-16 19:58:33 2010-05-16 23:58:33 open Publish post 727250670 xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:31:47 -04:00

Ok. Before I start this blog, SHUT UP PONG! Read it first. LMAO! Anyway, I woke up this morning realizing how much will I miss on my sister's 18th birthday. We've been together forever. Every single birthday she had, all the birthday parties I threw and she was actually the one who blew the candles on my 18th birthday cake. I feel so sad that I won't be able to share this moment with her. Not even dad or mom, but she understands how it is. She knows we want nothing but the best for her. We're giving her everything she deserves. She's the only reason why we're working hard here. We may miss her night but I will surely throw a party once she gets back from Manila. The feeling just got me nostalgic. The party's theme suits her best. If you know her since she was a kid, you know what I'm talking about. Look at her pic up there :)) She was very witty and "bibang-biba"! As she grew up, she became better and better. She doesn't drink/smoke. She barely go to clubs. She knows her responsibilities. She's a walking-periodic-table-of-elements. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. She can sing and surely is good in dancing. She says what she wants to say. She's way more than just a Facebook photo-whore. She CAN'T be friends with everyone, she will befriend you if she feels like to, but if not, she just doesn't like you at all. haha! If u love her, she'll love you more. Hate her? Hell she cares! :)) I experienced everything first hand! LOL! Sure we fought now and then but our personalities are like the Yin and the Yang. There were times that we're on opposite poles but I think for sisters, it comes naturally that you both find your equator. She is my ultimate enemy and my best-est friend at the same time. She's my greatest critic, my hilarious entertainer, my worst listener, my pentium1-diary, my partner-in-shopping but not in crime and lies, my clothes-sneaker, my pms-ing helper, my messy roommate, my reading-bugger, my party-killer, my science-translator, my stuff-breaker, my finicky shoe-mate, my meanest boy-meter, my financial-abuser, my weirdest chef, my favorite bugger, my loveliest Barbie, my drive to success, my first favor to God, my priceless treasure, my one and only sister...Reizel.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY PONGALIT!!!

2010-05-06 04:54:28 2010-05-06 08:54:28 open Publish post 726653699 xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:32:21 -04:00

I haven't checked my MySpace for ages until today and I received the most retard message I have ever read!

"hello angle how are you to day hope fine i was on ur profile ealre today i found it so intresting. i felt like making u my closed friend. i am so intresting of u so i deside to writte this maill to u i dont know if u will be kind enough to acepte me. u know u girls are some how defficut. i will be gratefull if u acept and maill me back with this maill ikdon@***.com. so to tell u more about me and give u my pic hopeing to ear frome u soonest thanks"

Wala lang I just find it hilarious! Plus I need to entertain myself while finishing the details on my sister's 18th. It's gonna be huge! I hope she'll be happy even if Mom, Dad and I can't be there. Anyways... I don't have much updates for you. I've been working so hard lately and on my last meeting with my TS, he informed me that I'm currently ranking #1 for the entire department Isn't it awesome? I still have lates though, BUT I'm working on that! The city bus schedule sucks! I hate it! And I'll never get used to it! I have to buy a car before winter! I still have several months to save up. And speaking of saving up, I might start saving or rather TRY saving after my birthday. Yes! My birthday's coming up in 2 months. If you're in MNL, it's a long time for you but here, it's over before u even know it! But before that, of course, Reizel's debut party is knocking me out. I'm actually finishing the final plot right now so I could send it to my Tita tomorrow. FYI, it's already 4:54 am CST here. Yesterday, I slept after lunch na and I wasn't able to finish it so now I have to really wrap it up. She's leaving soon and I'm dying out of envy! LOL! Last minute preps drove me gaga (like OMGaga! - that's my fave expression lately! haha!)... but they're all set now. So yeah, that's it for the meantime. I'm just waiting for Rachel's email for the new collection and send eveything to Tita then I can finally sleep.

P.S. ---- Since Rachel has been a huge help on my chaos lately, pls visit her collection and SHOP! You'll surely love every piece!

http://poisonberrymanila.multiply.com

2010-05-02 06:05:48 2010-05-02 10:05:48 open Publish post 726439429 BZ xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:33:41 -04:00

I've been so busy lately... with my sister's homecoming and at work. Barely touch my notebook. I'm uber-attached with my new BB ^_^ ...told u guys that I was planning to get Bold or Storm. So, I ended up getting a white BlackBerry Bold 9000. Touchscreens are getting boring . Posted that photo up there 'cause it looks like downtown Peg. Been such a work-a-holic! OT's and yeah, on my last evaluation, I'm ranking #1 for the whole department All the hardworks are paying off. I'll be busier until the end of next month, it's my sister's 18th (I think e'rybody knows it na anyway!) and I already have my Med Insurance. I'll get my eyes checked (I left Manila with a 20-20 vision and now FML!), teeth bleached (if necessary, braces or retainers), general medical exam (CBC again of course!) and MASSAGE!!! hehe For this week naman, I'm off tomorrow, chocolate-shopping with mom for pasalubong... and TRY to cook spaghetti haha! I won't be going out nor date anyone, well, not until June. I have heaps of things to accomplish this coming month...so I need to focus focus focus! That's it for now, it's almost 5am CST here! :)) XO

2010-04-26 05:21:42 2010-04-26 09:21:42 open Publish post 726095266 Home xaxcxexlx Fri, 23 Apr 2010 16:49:49 -04:00 I miss home. My sister's going back in a few weeks and I envy her so much! lol 2010-04-23 16:37:18 2010-04-23 20:37:18 open Publish post 725947367 Good Sunday Morning xaxcxexlx Sun, 02 May 2010 06:42:10 -04:00

I slept late last night (went out w/ friends) but woke up so early this morning. I dunno why, but it's a good thing though 'cause I have to revise the video and edit some photos for the soireè that I was talking about on my previous post. Imma start in a while but before I go, I wanna share these sites. So u guys can go shopping even if ure just bumming on ur couch. I chose these sites because they're my personal favorite shops online. Some of them were already featured on magazines and/or tv shows. I barely shop online just 'cause Winnipeg got American Apparel, Urban Behavior and Urban Planet which I mostly buy my stuff from and if I have more money, I can go to Swank! And oh, you can also be a real winner in Winners! I only buy clothes/shoes online IF I really love it and the price isn't rip off. So here they are... HAPPY SHOPPING!!!

2010-04-11 13:48:21 2010-04-11 17:48:21 open Publish post 725171897 ClosetKid.com xaxcxexlx Sun, 02 May 2010 06:45:57 -04:00

Hey guys! This will be my first post for April. Boo! I know! Sorry I've been way too busy with work, family, friends and organizing a very special soirée. My YMCA membership got voided too 'cause I don't have spare time. They require at least 6 visits or use of the facilities every month to keep your membership but yeah I am that busy! I'm in front of my laptop all the time working on an upcoming "something" but have no time to blog. So quick update lang for now but I promise I'll try to post as much as I can kahit using my phone lang. I'm planning to get a new BB next week. If you have any suggestions on what model, just post it on my Chatterbox right there > > >. I had 2 hours of sleep last night. Sabog much? haha! And I'm still up this late tonight. Well, I just want to post this site. So u guys can pick up some ideas for the summer season (spring here). Few people kept asking me for fashion tips kasi on my Formspring.com/xAxCxExLx ...So, I'll just post some fashion feeds/finds na lang online since I'm not a fashion guru naman no! As Ive said, JUST BE YOURSELF and WEAR WHAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. Nakakaloka lang kasi ung ibang questions sa Formspring ko. haha! Some of 'em, hindi ko na sinagot 'coz they're just lame and might hurt people pa but most of the questions naman, sinagot ko. Anyways, here's the site na... c/o Laureen Uy

http://www.closetkid.com/

2010-04-09 02:27:10 2010-04-09 06:27:10 open Publish post 725029355 Sea of Shoes xaxcxexlx Mon, 29 Mar 2010 01:31:40 -04:00

Jane Aldridge's fashion blogsite:

www.seaofshoes.com

click! U won't regret it :)

2010-03-29 01:31:00 2010-03-29 05:31:00 open Publish post 724388866 UB xaxcxexlx Sat, 27 Mar 2010 01:12:57 -04:00

Sana matanggap na ko sa Urban Behavior

2010-03-27 01:11:45 2010-03-27 05:11:45 open Publish post 724277301 Sunshine xaxcxexlx Fri, 26 Mar 2010 01:10:27 -04:00

I won't rush this time. But yes, I found The One.

2010-03-26 01:09:47 2010-03-26 05:09:47 open Publish post 724220664 HAARP Technology xaxcxexlx Thu, 25 Mar 2010 02:40:09 -04:00 2010-03-25 02:39:29 2010-03-25 06:39:29 open Publish post 724165685 After reading about the 2010 Haiti earthquake, the 6th deadliest earthquake in recorded history, and the 2010 Chile earthquake, the fifth strongest earthquake since 1900, I started reading a bit more on HAARP. http://templestream.xanga.com/731631025/do-christians-need-a-head-adjustment/ 1 2010-08-18 09:34:00 2010-08-18 13:34:00 templestream [email protected] http://templestream.xanga.com/ 0 34825592 0 1515783879 Springing Spring xaxcxexlx Sun, 02 May 2010 06:47:22 -04:00

Hey everyone! I'm on a break right now, so might as well blog. Not a work break... but a break from a major room cleaning. I worked 7 days straight this week and now enjoying my 3-days off... cleaning! haha! It's fun! For real! I didn't notice I have this much stuff already since we moved here! So they need to be organized. Plus I'm switching my wardrobe from Fall/Winter to Spring/Summer 2010 'cause today is the first official day of Spring! Bye winter coats, hello summer dresses!

And while I do that, here's what I have on my tube:

2010-03-20 19:05:45 2010-03-20 23:05:45 open Publish post 723905524 xaxcxexlx Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:42:40 -05:00 Im currently on the tub right now. ;p I dont wanna fall asleep so I thought of blogging. There are so many random things in my head right now. Bills, him, school, work, party, friends, family and my sister's 18th. 2010's first quarter had been pretty expensive for me :D and now I have more splurging to come. The sectional this month then Bravia on April 2nd, iPad will be out on the 3rd but Im thinking of MacAir instead, I need a new laptop! Im not MALUHO ok? I just wanna stop fighting with my dad over his Farmville! LOL! Reizel's 18th is the most pain in the a$$! From the very small details to the huge plans, I have to organize everything. And it's the hardest party I have ever planned! Not to mention the pasalubongs that she has to bring for our family and friends back home. I have to do some budgeting. I might have to use my savings. But it's all good. Whatever makes her happy, Im happier. And of course I would never stop thanking God for all the blessings. Every part of my life at this moment is all in control. That's why I dont want a bf right now. I admit that I'm crazy-in-love with a guy though. But I like it to stay this way, no strings, just inspired. :) Tomorrow, I'm scheduled for a morning shift and have to head straight to Jo's 18th after work (kasama narin paperview for Manny's fight! Haha!). On Thursday, Republic (the busiest club here) turns 1! I won't miss that! If I have to go with my white friends, I will but I really wanna go with my pinoy friends of course. I need to have some fun and learn to balance work and play before school starts. 'Cause for sure I'l be so dead by then. Less than 4 months and I'll be on the quarter of my life. Yay! Im excited to plan my bday! Imma rent a Hummer-Limo! I swear! Haha! Reiz will be legal by that time so we gun party hard when she gets back for my 25th. Imma bring Manila life here! Why mope around missing the limelight back home when u can juz bring it on here!? Life's short. We only live once, make it worth it! 2010-03-13 00:41:59 2010-03-13 05:41:59 open Publish post 723443112 Blair aka juicystar07 xaxcxexlx Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:01:23 -05:00

Kahit super arte nya, I'm learning a lot from her vlogs

2010-03-11 01:00:43 2010-03-11 06:00:43 open Publish post 723328743 When I Grow Up xaxcxexlx Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:22:56 -04:00

Sorry guys! I promised to blog yesterday but I didn't. I slept for like 15 hours! I had to rest after all the chaos of the past weeks. Well, I'm still in chaos though. But I'm starting to manage it. The mass yesterday helped me a lot in realizing which should I prioritize in my life right now. Back home, I've had the most excruciating heartbreaks. Malas! But I've realized it wasn't just because of my unlucky fate in love, it was certainly because of my decisions and actions before. I was not wise enough. I always let my heart dominates.

I didn't realize I've been here for almost a year now. Canada is truly a fast-paced place. Work, eat, sleep, mall, Church and Internet. Simple life. For months, I had liquor twice, I went out once and I haven't been to a club yet. Very far from my life back home. I miss it so much. I miss my friends and of course my family. But I chose to move here. I made that decision together with my family. Not just because of my own future, but also for my sister. I'm going back to school this fall. By then, my future starts. That means I'll be much busier. I'm still debating whether to take Pharma or CGA. Pharmacy is my sister's course, so we could share books and be cheatmates but I'm also thinking it will take me years. So I thought of taking Accounting, not only it can be my MBA but I already have knowledge and experiences on it. But that doesn't mean I don't have any on Pharma. I love Chemistry! But these are not the issues or those so-called chaos I've mentioned. Love always knocks me down whenever I'm on my best. I'm all set now and ready for my plans in life. Then someone came along. Unexpectedly. The worst part is, he is the best man I have ever met. I've never felt this crazy ever! And you know what's funny? I rejected him. Stupid much? I know!!! But I have to use my brain this time. I can't let loose right now. I am so in control of my life. I have so much responsibilities, plans, goals and dramas in my life right now. I just can't fall. I've grown up

http://kelvinlesterlee.wordpress.com/2007/12/21/career-vs-love-which-would-you-pick/

2010-03-09 01:26:35 2010-03-09 06:26:35 open Publish post 723215185 It's So White, It Hurts My Eyes xaxcxexlx Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:51:11 -05:00

Hi xangans! I'm sorry for not blogging these past few days. I've been so busy with work and with my new "Sunshine" . Did I just say that? Haha! Yeah, I am head-over-heels in love with a guy right now and this is the very first time I felt this extreme towards a person! I'm actually starting to become annoying! Haha! So, Imma shut up now! BTW, we just got home from Brandon, visited Ate Ela and her family. It has been a freezing foggy day today. Too scary to drive on the road but I love the scenery though, everything's white. Imma have supper in a while and rest, can't go to Republic with friends tonight 'cause I'm still tired from the trip. I have to rest and we'll see if I can go out some time soon. I promise to blog tomorrow. Xoxo! NA

2010-03-06 22:50:32 2010-03-07 03:50:32 open Publish post 723089895 Signs? xaxcxexlx Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:18:39 -05:00

From all the devastating calamities that are happening in the world today, call me a freak but it really is scary.

2010-02-28 19:18:00 2010-03-01 00:18:00 open Publish post 722723646 ▌♥ ▌GO CANADA GO ▌♥ ▌ xaxcxexlx Sun, 28 Feb 2010 15:11:32 -05:00

CANADA vs U.S.A

Men's Ice Hockey Finals on now!!!

Sa inyo na ang basketball! Hockey is our game!!!

2010-02-28 15:10:51 2010-02-28 20:10:51 open Publish post 722716459 In 5 Years. xaxcxexlx Sun, 28 Feb 2010 04:37:11 -05:00

2010-02-28 04:36:33 2010-02-28 09:36:33 open Publish post 722679978 Spring is Coming xaxcxexlx Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:09:49 -05:00

my favourite morning! Tims Double Double

I can wear shorts now ...with leggings though

2010-02-26 02:07:59 2010-02-26 07:07:59 open Publish post 722550863 xaxcxexlx Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:03:17 -05:00

Gold: Yu Na Kim (South Korea)

Silver: Mao Asada (Japan)

Bronze: Joannie Rochette (Canada)

2010-02-26 02:02:39 2010-02-26 07:02:39 open Publish post 722550697 xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:02:11 -05:00

Tessa and Scott won gold in Ice Dance for Canada...IN CANADA!

Tonight, I have two skaters to cheer for! Joannie Rochette for Canada and Kim Yu Na of South Korea but with a Canadian coach and training in Toronto. Kim Yu Na, as the reigning world champion and Grand Prix champion, she is expected to win gold tonight. But with plenty of competitions on the rink just like Mao Asada of Japan, one of Kim's fiercest rivals, is capable of throwing a triple axel, something no other competitor is likely to try and other Japanese skaters Miki Ando and Akiko Suzuki as well as Canada's Joannie Rochette pose a formidable challenge.

Few minutes and let the game begin!

2010-02-23 20:01:31 2010-02-24 01:01:31 open Publish post 722420662 My #1 Style Icon xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:03:57 -05:00

Olivia Toledo Palermo

2010-02-23 18:03:19 2010-02-23 23:03:19 open Publish post 722417528 I Strongly Recommend xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 17:51:58 -05:00

http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/

2010-02-23 17:51:20 2010-02-23 22:51:20 open Publish post 722417111 The Wait is Over xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 17:47:01 -05:00 2010-02-23 17:46:22 2010-02-23 22:46:22 open Publish post 722416947 xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:10:48 -05:00

2010-02-23 03:10:08 2010-02-23 08:10:08 open Publish post 722377004 Yoga Accepts. Yoga Gives. xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:15:14 -05:00

After gaining weight due to the holidays and so

much pigging out lately, I need this.

2010-02-23 02:11:04 2010-02-23 07:11:04 open Publish post 722375355 I Am So Back In Xanga xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:16:17 -05:00

I just recovered this blogsite. This is my first ever blog. So now, I decided to revamp it. From now on, I'll make it public so everyone can check it.

2010-02-21 20:22:56 2010-02-22 01:22:56 open Publish post 722303590 C H A N E L xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:53:57 -05:00

2008-02-17 15:05:30 2008-02-17 20:05:30 open Publish post 642877664 Anna Wintour xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:30:46 -05:00 2007-10-23 05:59:03 2007-10-23 09:59:03 open Publish post 623037643 Dream Room xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:36:37 -05:00

Mariah Carey's closet.

2007-10-11 16:28:55 2007-10-11 20:28:55 open Publish post 620980034 Spice Girls is LOVE :)) xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:14:09 -05:00 2007-10-08 13:40:48 2007-10-08 17:40:48 open Publish post 620412775 Jason and LC xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:18:50 -05:00 2007-10-08 10:09:03 2007-10-08 14:09:03 open Publish post 620357229 Very Audrey Hepburn xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:49:31 -05:00

2007-10-05 19:02:46 2007-10-05 23:02:46 open Publish post 619883787 The Last Hug xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:47:37 -05:00

Reserved the best for last. THE LAST HUG!

How do u say farewell to a person who you selflessly loved? I dont know how, although a whirlwind it was, it was the best rollercoaster ride of my life! So I just hugged him near, in that instance I had no sense of time! I just remember trying to embrace the love of my life, praying time would stop running forth, unfortunately no cooperation, the clock kept ticking! I released him but couldnt bear it, so I held him close one last time, cherishing preciously this human being that taught me to let go of my jadedness and allow myself to love. The most difficult moment was that last farewell glance, turning & walking away. Wish I could pull myself to glimpse back but I was scared I couldnt control myself and would run back, then I wouldnt be able turn my back once again. Im fulfilled with my decision to let be my emotions, to just let go, stop trying to control. No regrets. It was liberatingly freeing!

Thanx ATE... for all the night-outs, drinking sessions and melancholic songs that made me cry out really loud! It felt so good to let it all out though! and yah thanx for escorting me with all the bottles of beer even if u cant even finish a bottle! It's the effort that counts! lav ya!

Thanx RIA... for never getting tired of listening to my endless ranting! and for being my hero against Pyke! hehe! Thanx for the long hours of chikahan!

Thanx BRY... for always checking up on me, for ticking me off when I skipped meals and for the libres! hehe!

Thanx ANGEL... for all the sleepless-sleepovers! haha! and for being my pretty nurse! We've been together for 9 looong years, u know the whole story! Thanx for EVERYTHING!

Thanx PYKE... FOR NOT SPEAKING TO ME FOR TWO MONTHS!!! It helped! I know how much u despise him! If y'all will form a petition party against him... I know u will be the President / Founder / Vice-Pres / Sec / Tres / blah blah blah!!! I still love u though! BUT It doesn't mean that I finally realized that I should've listened to u coz Carlos, It won't happen! COZ I HAVE NO REGRETS!!! I dont care if u dont understand why, how come, what am I thinking blah blah blah... basta! WE'VE BEEN HAPPY AND THAT'S ENOUGH. Believe it or not!!! Just pls be happy for me, I may not be able to smile at the moment.. but in time I will... hope soon... it's painful, still... but it will pay off sooner or later... I just need you beside me :) luv u Pyke! ..and happy bday! thanx again for inviting me... I ran out under the heavy rain just to get to Mindanao Ave! hmp! but it was worth it coz of our CEASEFIRE! hehe!

Thanx BEZ(Yadh)...for the calls and for making me cuento sooo daym long! Thanx for listening and helping me realized everything! I miss u! See u soon!

U'll be the last guy I'll ever love this much!!! Thanx for making me the happiest!!! I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!! I miss everything we used to do together! There are so many things that remind me of u! It's getting harder and tougher! Just pls don't waste everything, PLS BE SURE THAT WHAT HAPPENED WILL MAKE U HAPPIER!

2007-10-05 15:07:29 2007-10-05 19:07:29 open Publish post 619869888 Be Deaf! xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:50:47 -05:00

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WON'T HURT YOU!!!

2007-09-17 11:26:21 2007-09-17 15:26:21 open Publish post 616516200 Me Missing You xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:46:02 -05:00

Missing You – Case

Standing here looking out my window

My nights are long and my days are cold

Cause I don't have you

How can I be so damn demanding

I know you said that it's over now

But I can't let go

Every day I want to pick up the phone

And tell you that

You're everything I need and more

If only I could find you

Like a cold summer afternoon

Like the snow coming down in June

Like a wedding without a groom

I'm missing you

I'm the desert without the sand

You're the woman without a man

I'm the ring without a hand

I'm missing you

Driving 'round thought I saw you pass me

My rearview mirror's playing tricks on me

Cause you fade away

Maybe I'm just hallucinating

Cause my loneliness got the best of me

And my heart's so weak.

2007-09-13 19:48:38 2007-09-13 23:48:38 open Publish post 615827491 aww I miss Cold Rock :D ya bet we can do this better! haha! xaxcxexlx Sun, 04 Nov 2007 22:38:54 -05:00 2007-09-05 18:09:58 2007-09-05 22:09:58 open Publish post 614322473 xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:48:39 -05:00 Will I ever find someone like you again? 2007-08-31 11:53:39 2007-08-31 15:53:39 open Publish post 613289781 Stupidity and Love xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:54:58 -05:00

I was browsing some multiply sites and ended up at my sister's schoolmate's multiply. lil lady yet big heartache! tsk tsk tsk! WE'RE IN A COMMON STATE. So I got interested with her blog. I felt sad and disappointed again. kanino? kanino pa ba? eh di sa mga boys!

I hate forcing myself to let go of one person that I need in my life, it's the only thing that makes sense but at the same time, it's the same thing that complicates me! I KNOW THAT I AM BETTER OFF WITHOUT THAT PERSON, YET I FEEL EMPTY WHENEVER I TRY TO LET GO! Is emptiness better than constant hurting?

*even the smartest people make the most stupid mistake.. WHEN IN LOVE.*

2007-08-25 06:27:13 2007-08-25 10:27:13 open Publish post 612099335 xaxcxexlx Fri, 20 Jul 2007 06:39:22 -04:00 The Allstars @ Wave's D'Gathering Sheenz for Mtv VJ Hunt(check out Jon on the last part! haha! so so dazed!) Kenjhons' single: "I'll Be Your Angel"(I really looove this song!!!) 2007-07-20 06:39:22 2007-07-20 10:39:22 open Publish post 605126993 Hey Doll * just browsing around xanga. your page is wayy cute! feel free to stop by mine & comment/subscribe! take care xOx &hearts' kate 1 2007-07-20 09:17:00 2007-07-20 13:17:00 BoMBSHELLandBRAiNS [email protected] http://bombshellandbrains.xanga.com/ 0 26294079 0 1349249707 Simei Singapore xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:58:42 -05:00

2007-07-16 10:28:28 2007-07-16 14:28:28 open Publish post 604347320 The Art of LV xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:01:51 -05:00

2007-06-04 16:10:07 2007-06-04 20:10:07 open Publish post 595534428 Bento Fun xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:05:56 -05:00

I don't want to eat it!

2007-05-17 15:15:57 2007-05-17 19:15:57 open Publish post 591443064 Funner Shopping xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:08:57 -05:00

LV Japan

2007-05-12 03:56:08 2007-05-12 07:56:08 open Publish post 590166962 last weekend @ Tierra Nevada xaxcxexlx Mon, 23 Apr 2007 06:51:23 -04:00

2007-04-23 06:50:34 2007-04-23 10:50:34 open Publish post 585846806 I'm A Big Fan xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:12:30 -05:00

Steve Aoki is LOVE!!!

2007-04-19 08:54:00 2007-04-19 12:54:00 open Publish post 584988403 xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:57:15 -05:00

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” -English proverb

2007-04-06 17:38:51 2007-04-06 21:38:51 open Publish post 582169400 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:56:14 -05:00

2007-03-29 11:00:16 2007-03-29 15:00:16 open Publish post 580278146 PHA xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:16:09 -05:00

2007-03-17 20:47:36 2007-03-18 00:47:36 open Publish post 577599925 The Dance of Love xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:04:58 -05:00

I heard the crowd clapping and cheering as I stepped on the ice. My skating friends shouted, “Go, Ace!” I tried hard not to blush, but a grin crept over my face just like it always did whenever my friends called out their support to me. I reached my starting spot on the ice and took my opening position. I hoped all the hard work and many hours of practice would help me achieve my dream to win.

My music began – a selection from the flick soundtrack of Step Up (it was the fastest routine I’ve ever danced!). Like a light stroke of a paintbrush on a canvas, my arm drew across my body, and my eyes followed out to my fingertips. I pushed off on my left foot with three powerful strokes into a Mohawk followed by a loop jump. I smiled as my blade curved a clean cut through the ice, and I held the landing, making sure all the judges could see. I pumped my legs with powerful crossovers until I was at the corner of the rink. I stretched my leg and jabbed my toe pick into the ice, which lifted me into a flip jump. Yes! I thought and gave another giant smile.

My next moves needed to match the beats of the music exactly. I did a waltz jump, with a ballet jump following. I could hear the music; I was going too fast. I did some fancy three turns so that the music would catch up. Now! Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. I danced on my toes to the high notes of the piano. I tightened my body for my low, fast sit spin and came out of the spin with two back crossovers. So far, things were going great. My energy was high as I followed the music in my mind.

Already it was time to wind up my program. My last 45 seconds included required footwork, a combination jump, and a sequence of spirals. To position myself for my footwork, I prepared to do a second Mohawk. I swayed my leg. Then suddenly my foot slipped out from underneath me, and I hit the ice with a thud. The crowd gasped. My teeth were jarred from the impact, but I popped right back up.

I had never fallen in a competition before, and my first thought was to skate off the ice into my mom’s comforting arms. I had worked so hard, and now I felt like I had thrown it all away. After all the hours I had spent preparing, why did I have to fall on such a simple maneuver in front of an audience? The judges would never award me a first. I had ruined everything.

But in that same instant, I kept going. I remembered my coach saying, “The skater who gets up and keeps going, no matter how hard it is, is truly a winner.” I remembered my parents telling me, “It doesn’t matter whether you come in first or last as long as you try your hardest and enjoy yourself.” I had worked too hard to quit now. I was determined to focus.

I smiled as I skated toward my flip-loop combination and landed with a wobble. The crowd clapped enthusiastically and my music began to slow to the end. I stretched my back leg for a spiral sequence across the ice. I stretched from one edge to another, lowered my leg , and did a slow back pivot to a standing pose with my chest in the air and my head and arms arched back. The crowd applauded loudly as I bowed and skated off the ice.

I stopped at the boards and stepped of the ice. MJ smiled encouragingly, and my mom hugged me tight, whispering in my ear that I had done a wonderful job. I slipped on my guards and sat down on the “kiss and cry”. I was still breathing hard and my legs wouldn’t stop shaking. As I waited for my score to be posted, I thought about how much I love this sport, and I decided it didn’t matter what I had placed.

Later that evening I was scheduled to skate a coupletech performance with my lil sis, Reizel, so we decided to eat first and rest. I changed into some warm-ups, smoothed my White velvet ice dress, and tucked it into my skating bag. As we walked out of the ice rink toward our car, Vernice, one of Reizel’s skating friends, asked what I had placed.

“Fifth,” I told her proudly.

“That’s great, Ate,” she said. “And goodluck tonight.”

“Thanx!” I replied.

As we drove back to our house, I thought about my day. I had grown up a lot, and I had a new way of looking at performing. I truly realized what my coach meant when he said, “When you fall, especially in a performance, you get stronger, because when you finish something, even if it’s not perfect, there is a feeling of accomplishment.” I was a winner today because I got up and finished my routine with a smile.

When I am skating, I feel relaxed, peaceful, and as light as the sand crystals that blow along the beach. What matters is that every day I am learning and trying my best. What matters is that I LOVE TO SKATE.

It was my final competition. I will miss iceskating so much! Bye ice, Hello waves!

2007-03-13 09:27:37 2007-03-13 13:27:37 open Publish post 576571779 Up North xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:28:35 -05:00

Here’s a cuento from my Baguio trip last week…

THURSDAY night (Feb 22 ‘07)

FRIDAY (Feb 23 ‘07)

Background music: Jamelia’s Superstar (the girls gone gaga!)

- they have the best Mais Con Hielo! Hehe ;p

I got the ugliest tanline! Coz I was wearin a shirt! d@mn it!

SURF’S UP!!!

…took McArthur instead of Kenon! Hehe! I was scared to death!

Background music: STRAIGHT CUT!!! (Georg sucks! Haha!)

SATURDAY (Feb 24 ‘07)

-5 girls (including me!) went to Burnham Park

-riding a banca was fun! Rowing’s not though!

- they ate dinner, I did not, my tummy ached!

- camwhorin’ and shoppin’ with my cousins!

-after dinner, the girls and I played like lil kids with the uber fun help of the camera! ***check out my multiply: http://acel07.multiply.com/ ***

SUNDAY (Feb 25 ‘07)

· 30 floats! Politicians! Celebs! Vast crowd!

- ate pizza in the car then left Baguio na!

- Background music? – Lady Sovereign! Best roadtrip ever!

2007-03-12 07:09:06 2007-03-12 11:09:06 open Publish post 576302030 Breakfast at Tiffany`s xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:31:43 -05:00

Thanks Babe!

2007-02-18 20:53:19 2007-02-19 01:53:19 open Publish post 571391131 Sentosa xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:36:41 -05:00 2007-02-18 20:38:56 2007-02-19 01:38:56 open Publish post 571389363 You Copycat xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:36:56 -05:00

YOU’RE FLATTERING ME TOO MUCH!!!

2007-02-08 19:17:29 2007-02-09 00:17:29 open Publish post 568945017 Adrian and Paris xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:37:13 -05:00

They look so cute together!

2007-02-03 07:28:42 2007-02-03 12:28:42 open Publish post 567615300 Sheena, the Japanese Doll xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:38:20 -05:00

@ Emba Cafeteria

2007-02-02 15:03:07 2007-02-02 20:03:07 open Publish post 567488892 One Day xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:41:19 -05:00

I will see the northern lights someday.

2007-02-02 01:27:54 2007-02-02 06:27:54 open Publish post 567336203 Walk Away xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:48:33 -05:00

Bez! C'est très dur vous permettre d'aller!

Walk Away PAULA DEANDA I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember meI'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember meI saw you with your new girl just yesterdayAnd I feel that I must confessEven though it kills me to have to sayI'll admit that I was impressedPhysically just short of perfectionGotta commend you on your selectionThough I know I shouldn't be concernedIn the back of my mindI can't help but question

Does she rub you feetWhen you've had a long dayScratch your scalpWhen you take out your braidsDoes she know that you

like to Play PS2

till 6 in the morningLike I doI can't explain this feelingI think about it everydayAnd even though we've moved onIt gets so hard to walk away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)Walk Away, Walk Away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)

I can't forget how we used to be

I guess i gotta live my life from day to dayHoping maybe you'll come backAnd though I tell myself not to be afraidTo move on but it seems I can'tBut no other man has given me attentionIt ain't the same as your affectionThough I know I should be contentIn the back of my mindI can't help but question

Does he kiss me on the foreheadBefore we playShow up on my doorstepwith a bouquetDoes he call me in the middle of the dayJust to say

hey baby I love youLike you used toI can't explain this feelingI think about it everydayAnd even though we've moved onIt gets so hard to walk away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)Walk Away, Walk Away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)Walk Away, Walk Away

I can't forget how we used to be

So hard to express this feeling Cause nobody compares to youAnd you know she'll never love you like i do

I can't explain this feelingI think about it everydayAnd even though we've moved onIt gets so hard to walk away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)Walk Away, Walk AwayRemember You(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)

2007-01-31 15:35:14 2007-01-31 20:35:14 open Publish post 567019776 Irina Slutskaya xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:46:08 -05:00

2007-01-29 15:59:45 2007-01-29 20:59:45 open Publish post 566548974 Moonriver xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:48:02 -05:00

The Glamorous Audrey

2007-01-28 06:24:54 2007-01-28 11:24:54 open Publish post 566193610 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:51:42 -05:00

SINGAPURA

Ready to hit the shops in Singapore? You have come to the right destination as shopping, along with eating, is rated as one of the top favorite pastimes here. Shopping is a serious business in Singapore where even hardcore shopaholics who have perfected the art of shopping will surrender to the sheer volume, range and diversity.

Having earned a global reputation as a true shopper’s paradise, Singapore is one giant mall where all your shopping needs can be fulfilled. Each year, millions of visitors from around the world explore the shopping delights in Singapore and treat themselves to one shopping spree after another.

Singapore is a city of duty-free luxury goods, cutting-edge technology and high fashion. It is also arguably one of the best places to hunt for the latest high tech gadgets at competitive prices. From international or local fashion designer labels to made-to-measure clothes in any fabric of your choice, Singapore offers it all. You can also choose to experience shopping in a swanky air-conditioned malls in downtown areas of Orchard Road and Marina Bay, or pick up unique finds in the ethnic claves and for the more adventurous, the suburbs where local residents shop.

For the shopper, the seamless shopping experience is unrivalled. You can be assured of the value and quality of your purchases, especially with the Star Retailers’ Scheme for consumer technology products, and Quality Jewelers’ Scheme for jewelry.

With all this diversity, value and quality that Singapore has to offer, it’s up to you to decide how to vary your shopping experience to create your Uniquely Singapore shopping experience.

No matter where you are on this island, you will never be short of an opportunity to shop to your heart’s delight.

ORCHARD ROAD

Tanglin Area:

Scotts Area:

Tangs to Paragon:

Mandarin Gallery to Park Mall

MARINA BAY

Citylink Mall

Raffles City Shopping Centre

Raffles Hotel Arcade

CHIJMES

Suntec City Mall

Millenia Walk

Esplanade Mall

Marina Square Shopping Mall

CHINATOWN

LITTLE INDIA

KAMPONG GLAM

BUGIS (kayanin mo ang baho dito! Harhar!)

DON’T MISS my fave shops:

The Heeren Shop

Far East Plaza

Bugis Junction

Plaza Singapura

CityLink Mall

2007-01-25 07:15:46 2007-01-25 12:15:46 open Publish post 565519564 xaxcxexlx Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:59:21 -05:00

Dad! She's a real lady now :'(

2007-01-25 05:07:31 2007-01-25 10:07:31 open Publish post 565496085 I love Bloc Party xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:53:14 -05:00

2007-01-20 02:20:32 2007-01-20 07:20:32 open Publish post 564302768 I Heart Memories xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:56:30 -05:00

2007-01-19 12:00:58 2007-01-19 17:00:58 open Publish post 564184696 xaxcxexlx Fri, 12 Jan 2007 19:36:21 -05:00 merci dad! je vous manque! SAMSUNG K5Je vous parie ne peut pas vous permettre d'acheter ceci fille pauvre! 2007-01-12 19:26:00 2007-01-13 00:26:00 open Publish post 562561594 xaxcxexlx Tue, 09 Jan 2007 15:33:43 -05:00

Be part of the night

that will be written in history!back to back GRAND party

JAN 10 07 @ Prince of Jaipur, The FORt

as we call all the

B-U-tiful ladiesto celebrate this night of

"TAG! UR HOT!"

and the birth of

"PRICELESS PRODUCTIONS"let the hot, gorgeous, steaming sexy ladies

fill the club w/ FREE SHOTS

as we dance to the rhythm

of an unforgettable night..brought to you by the

genuine hip hop and rnb djs and mcs.let the earthshaking nights begin!need we say more?..free entrance for everyone!

coz our party is your party!c yah!

2007-01-09 15:31:51 2007-01-09 20:31:51 open Publish post 561846635 Pretty Sunrise xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:58:20 -05:00

I had to wake up as early as 5 AM today to start training for the upcoming 2007 Grand prix Philippine Open Figure-Skating Championship. This will be my last competition coz I decided to enter the pipemasters world! Yeh boi! I am so excited to ride the waves!

Today, my goal will be the Bielman position and spins. My lesson will start at 10 AM but I have to warm up and try freestyle before getting to coach MJ. Reiz has her dance class (8-10AM), I’ll just meet her at the rink later together with Rozz.

2007-01-08 19:05:24 2007-01-09 00:05:24 open Publish post 561643529 M's xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:00:54 -05:00

2007-01-04 12:44:03 2007-01-04 17:44:03 open Publish post 560734816 Cherish xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:01:27 -05:00 Let's take a walk together near the ocean shore hand in hand you and I Let's cherish every moment we have been given for time is passing by I often pray before I lay down by your side If you receive your calling before I awake Could I make it through the night? Cherish the love we have We should cherish the life we live Cherish the love, cherish the life, cherish the love Cherish the love we have For as long as we both shall live Cherish the love, cherish the life, cherish the love The world is always changing, nothing stays the same But love will stand the test of time The next life that we live in remains to be seen Will you be by my side I often pray before I lay down by your side And if you receive your calling before I awake Could I make it through the night? 2006-12-30 17:33:49 2006-12-30 22:33:49 open Publish post 559597262 random pix xaxcxexlx Thu, 04 Jan 2007 13:02:36 -05:00

2006-12-30 16:59:43 2006-12-30 21:59:43 open Publish post 559594142 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:57:54 -05:00

2006-12-29 15:29:34 2006-12-29 20:29:34 open Publish post 559389895 White Will Always Be Sexy xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:06:09 -05:00

2006-12-22 13:52:38 2006-12-22 18:52:38 open Publish post 557913758 Awe xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:12:22 -05:00

2006-12-19 06:34:08 2006-12-19 11:34:08 open Publish post 556988343 Blue Crush *love watchin it over & over again!* xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:13:00 -05:00

Life for Anne Marie has been one long Pipe dream. She's about to make that dream a reality if she can keep from drowning in her own fear. As the clock ticks down to the Pipe Masters surf competition on the North Shore of Oahu, more is at stake for Anne Marie than the pressure of competing in one of the world's most dangerous, aggressive and male-dominated sports. She must first win a dreaded contest within. Sharing a beach shack with her best friends Eden and Lena, and her rebellious younger sister Penny, Anne Marie lives for the adrenaline-charged surf scene, rising before dawn every day to charge the Pipeline's deadly waves. The friends eke out a living as maids in a luxury resort hotel. The humble job pays the bills and lets them keep their focus on the water. But things change when a pro football team with slovenly habits and fat wallets checks in. Like it or not, Anne Marie starts losing her balance--and finding it--as she falls for quarterback Matt Tollman. Suddenly there are options: trophy wife or trophy winner? But there's really only one choice for someone like Anne Marie. Matt knows it, too--that's why he likes her. And when Anne Marie faces a paralyzing moment of truth on the biggest day of her life, Matt is there along with Lena, Eden and Penny, to help her remember why the goal that has driven her for so long matters so much.

Also Known As:

Surf Girls

Surf Girls of Maui

Production Status:

Released

Genres:

Action/Adventure, Comedy and Romance

Running Time:

1 hr. 49 min.

Release Date:

August 16th, 2002

MPAA Rating:

PG-13 for sexual content, teen partying, language and a fight.

Distributors:

Universal Pictures Distribution

Production Co.:

Imagine Entertainment, Shutt-Jones Productions

Studios:

Universal Pictures

U.S. Box Office:

$40,118,420

Filming Locations:

Oahu, Hawaii, USA

Produced in:

United States

2006-12-15 08:14:23 2006-12-15 13:14:23 open Publish post 555991783 The F Shots xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:14:36 -05:00

2006-12-14 02:19:30 2006-12-14 07:19:30 open Publish post 555666620 Renditions xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:15:17 -05:00 Joshua Desiderio of Freestyle Paolo Banaga of K24/7 2006-11-09 06:46:09 2006-11-09 11:46:09 open Publish post 545888323 Candy Stirrer xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:16:55 -05:00

2006-11-01 17:18:33 2006-11-01 22:18:33 closed Publish post 543508813 Winnipeg, See You Soon. xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:18:10 -05:00

2006-10-24 12:11:36 2006-10-24 16:11:36 open Publish post 540857295 Belle, You Are The Most Beautiful Pinay Ever! xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:19:37 -05:00

2006-09-12 11:42:36 2006-09-12 15:42:36 open Publish post 528485463 Ms. Hilton`s Closet xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:21:36 -05:00

2006-08-19 11:40:46 2006-08-19 15:40:46 open Publish post 520768191 Les Deux xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:23:08 -05:00

2006-08-15 13:13:34 2006-08-15 17:13:34 open Publish post 519491935 xaxcxexlx Thu, 14 Dec 2006 01:39:48 -05:00

Ever tried to let go of something so close and dear to your heart that letting it go would be like giving up a part of your life? Sometimes we have to let certain things go even if we don’t want to, because sometimes we end up hurting ourselves even more if we hold on to it.We're only human right? So, I'm pretty sure that we get tired. Maybe at first you'll be like "I can't do it. I can't let go" but trust me you’ll find the strength to let go. When you let go of a person or when the person lets you go, you shouldn't be bitter. You should thank the person for teaching you a lot of things. Maybe someone better was meant for you. Maybe he just had something to teach you. Maybe God gave that person to you to teach you to become stronger. Sometimes letting go is easier. (Yeah, yeah, easier said than done.) It's like holding on to a piece of broken glass, you hold on, you keep on hurting yourself but when you decide to let go, you feel the pain and your hand bleeds but the pain doesn’t last a lifetime. It heals but there will be a mark. Just like in your heart. There will be a mark, a proof, that once in your life you loved someone so much and he taught you a lot of things and that someone taught you to be strong. It won't be easy, but you'll get through it!

2006-08-15 13:04:59 2006-08-15 17:04:59 open Publish post 519488833 xaxcxexlx Thu, 14 Dec 2006 01:40:34 -05:00

By Benjamin Joseph D. Collado IIIPublished on Page C1 of the July 26, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

IT'S ABOUT WAKING UP IN THE morning with a bad hangover and being hit by a very familiar feeling that you went overboard again last night.

It's about a one-night stand with a girl you met at a party, sneaking out of her room before she wakes, checking your things if something was missing, looking for her phone and purposely deleting your number from her phonebook.

It's about meeting a girl at a bar and offering her a ride home. It's about asking her if she wanted to go someplace private so you can talk--when both of you are aware that you have a different "talk" in mind.

It's about meeting your ex again after quite some time and noting how much better she looks now than she did before. It's about pushing the right buttons for her to give in. And finding yourself in bed with her without strings attached, all the while being grateful to your friend who told you it's good not to burn your bridges with your exes.

It's about seeing a girl and finding ways for you to meet her. With pickup lines being overused, you have a better chance of getting her number by having a friend go over and ask her politely if he can have his friend over there introduced to her.

It's about texting with her the whole day, getting to know her, showing that you have a genuine interest in her, sharing sweet nothings on the phone and forwarding her cheesy quotes that work almost all the time.

It's about having your friend, your partner-in-crime, the Robin to your Batman--or whatever you want to call him--validate to her all your pledges of devotion and loyalty.

It's about perfecting the art of lying. Telling your girlfriend it was just you and the boys last night--go ask Robin. And not bothering to tell Robin what to say because he already knows the routine.

It's about keeping your girlfriend happy. Giving her gifts and surprises so she won't suspect your wayward ways.

It's about not caring if your girlfriend broke up with you because she caught you cheating. There are other fish in the sea, you say. You're better off a free man, free to do anything you pleased without worrying about getting caught.

It's about asking the girl you just met out for a date. Convincing her that you're for real. Making her forget about the warnings her friends gave about you.

It's about doing anything so you can bring her home tonight. And if everything else fails, it's always a good idea to have a plan B.

It's about saying the L word without breaking eye contact. Making her believe that you really mean it and that you're starting to fall for her. That's plan B.

It's about thinking of ways to break up with her if she starts to get clingy. Thinking of the standard breakup lines and wondering if she'll buy it.

It's about rushing to your friend's girlfriend with a shoulder to cry on. Telling her that everything's gonna work out fine. Comforting her one minute, making out the next.

It's about going out with your friends and partying all night. Drinking till dawn and playing around with girls.

It's about waking up in the morning with a bad case of hangover and a very familiar feeling that you went overboard again last night.

Deja vu.

Ugly cycle

It really is an ugly cycle. After years of a life like this, you begin to ask yourself if there is more to life than drinking all night and finding someone to hook up with. And in the morning when you wake up, no matter how much you soap yourself, you still have this uneasy feeling that you're still dirty.

Your friend has found a girl that he's serious about. When you go out with your friends, you find him taking a raincheck because he has to spend time with his girl. You and your friends wonder what has gotten into him. You even wonder if he's lost his mind. How can he even think about trading this kind of life? There's nothing better than a bachelor's life.

It's all fun and games the first few years. But after a while, you look at yourself in the mirror and find the traces of abuse you did to yourself. And if you don't change your ways, you fear that maybe someday you'll find yourself alone and lonely.

And after all the years of booze and girls, you can finally sum up your life in one word--empty.

Maybe it's not good to spend your life that way. Maybe your friend hasn't lost his mind, after all.

What you need is to find someone who can make you look forward to another day. Someone who, when you think about her, never fails to put a smile on

your face.

Someone who makes you want to be a better man--to steal a line from pareng Jack Nicholson.

Someone who fills that emptiness in you, making you complete.

Before, when you used to wake up in the morning and find somebody in your arms, your first thought was how you could get rid of her without hurting her feelings. But now, what you need is a girl who makes you want to think of reasons and ways to let her stay in your arms.

Because when she's right there beside you, it is as if everything's okay. That nothing else matters but you and her.

You need somebody who makes you miss her so much that you buy a bottle of her perfume and spray it on your pillows so, when you go to bed at night, you can hug the pillow with her scent on it and wish that it was really her you were hugging.

You need somebody who makes your heart skip a beat when she smiles at you. Who makes you feel so comfortable and safe that you pour out your heart to her, unburdening secrets that you've kept for a long time. And having her tell you that it's okay, you have a new slate now, that you can leave everything where it belongs, in the past, and concentrate on what lies ahead of you.

You need someone who makes you listen more to love songs on the radio. Someone whom you pray for at night before you sleep. Someone you wish you'd dream about, for even while you sleep, you still want to be with her.

Someone whom you can finally look in the eye, without all the guilt and deceit, and tell her you love her. And you get this mushy feeling inside that tells you it's true. You want to shout over the rooftops, you love her, and she loves you!

There's no better feeling in the world.

I have found my someone. I have found my all. I've been wanting to ask this for a long time now. And I think there's no better timing than now.

So here I am, down on one knee, asking you, my someone.

Will you marry me?

Its when you hurt the worst that you have love the most.

2006-08-15 12:31:05 2006-08-15 16:31:05 open Publish post 519475804 xaxcxexlx Tue, 15 Aug 2006 05:13:30 -04:00 2005-12-17 08:04:54 2005-12-17 13:04:54 open Publish post 408214493 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:25:50 -05:00

2005-12-08 05:53:32 2005-12-08 10:53:32 open Publish post 402506386 Comfy & Stylish xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:30:36 -05:00

2005-11-28 11:41:53 2005-11-28 16:41:53 open Publish post 396255686 Dog House? Wow. xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:29:21 -05:00

2005-11-22 14:18:38 2005-11-22 19:18:38 open Publish post 392358736 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:31:25 -05:00 !!! H-A-P-P-Y---B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y---K-A-L-B-O-!!! 2005-09-08 09:48:16 2005-09-08 13:48:16 open Publish post 343688746 Hey I'm Still A Little Girl :) xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:01:18 -05:00

2005-08-22 12:23:49 2005-08-22 16:23:49 open Publish post 332279794 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:03:13 -05:00

I LOVE THIS VIDEO!!!

LIKE YOU - Bow Wow featuring Ciara

(Chorus) I ain't ever had nobody show me all the things That you done showed me In a special way I feel when you hold me We gon' always be together baby That is what you told and I believe it cuz I ain't never had Nobody do me like you Bow Wow Now I done been with different kind of girls So like I done seen them all But ain't none of them at all (like you) And I done seen the best of the best Baby still I ain't impressed cuz Ain't none of them at all (like you) and if you know how I feel when I chill Look if I'm seen with a girl Then she gotta be just (like you) And baby thats the way I feel And I ain't got no choice But for me to keep it real Cuz when we first got together Starting hanging out you was skeptical at first Had to figure out if I was the kind of guy Would try to dog you out but I ain't that kind of guy you try to make me out You found out when you turned to my baby I showed them other brothers How to treat a lady I let you drive when I ride that Mercedes And I ain't trippin' or actin' shady Cuz baby you know (Chorus) I ain't ever had nobody show me all the things That you done showed me In a special way I feel when you hold me We gon' always be together baby That’s what you told and I believe it cuz I ain't never had Nobody do me like you Ciara And everytime I think about you I smile When you ride when you call when you come around Your love is amazing to me I can't wait till I see you (I wanna be with you again) And everytime your out on the road (I'll make a trip) And whenever I'm doing a show (Don't you forget) That I'm your main chick Who got that game chick One in the same chick The one you can hang with (Chorus) I ain't ever had nobody show me all the things That you done showed me In a special way I feel when you hold me We gon' always be together baby That is what you told and I believe it cuz I ain't never had Nobody do me like you Bow Wow Ok we hit the mall pop tags Spend a few G's (Cheesin') Hit the runway to a new season It ain't nothing Spoil the one I care for Feel like I ain't doin' enough That's when I shape off I give you this give you that What chu need love You know I got it Holla at me if you need love In affection cuz I'll be your protection Kinda hard job but I'll do until perfection And you can tell that I ain't tryin' to let you go I get with you when I can So thats how I let you know And you be trippin' cuz sometimes I gotta go But chu the first one I hollared to right after my show Hey now I was trippin' in a sense I was tense but my body's lose around you But I'ma do without you I gotta get it together say whateva Since I met you my life seems so better (Chorus 2 x's) I ain't ever had nobody show me all the things That you done showed me In a special way I feel when you hold me We gon' always be together baby That is what you told and I believe it cuz I ain't never had Nobody do me like you

2005-08-18 03:37:16 2005-08-18 07:37:16 open Publish post 329413838 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:05:29 -05:00

Southerz…see you this weekend!

I effin miss Daytona! Bry… beat me! Haha!

I felt like… I came out from a tomb! Haha!

Can’t wait 2 use my “inaamag” TZ-card again!

Miss hanging out with y'all! I’m comin with my cousin k?

Don’t worry… they’re loadz of fun!

C u all dirtee southerz!

2005-08-17 09:40:19 2005-08-17 13:40:19 open Publish post 328780553 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:06:22 -05:00

Aya asked me to post this.

"Miss... I don't deserve yer boifriend...I'm too good fer him!...and besides, he doesn't need a lover...he wants a BITCH!!!u deserve him!"

onga naman :))

2005-08-14 10:31:11 2005-08-14 14:31:11 open Publish post 326653538 Over xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:45:49 -05:00

I remember the time when there was a special someone who was so much a part of my life. There was hardly a moment we weren’t together. It seemed so perfect. Sure we fought every now and then… but problems were there to help the relationship grow stronger. We would work through the problem, and not just ignore it and hope for it to go away. With all that he and I had been through together for 3 long years, I thought that nothing would ever separate us. But as life would have it, you can’t stay on cloud nine forever.And then… IT HAPPENED!… HE ENDED IT! And found someone else (though I’m still clueless how he lowered himself for that kinda girl). I never thought he could hurt me. I thought I know him that well. That he’s not that kind of person. And worst, hurt me in that fuckin way! LEFT ME… back to ZERO!

I kept asking God why it happened. I totally flipped. I was angry, frustrated, depressed, confused, and hysterical all at once. I kept asking myself… Why? What happened? What did Ido? I couldn’t sleep nor eat for a week… I’d just cry my eyes out! I would close my eyes and see his face. I’d look around me and almost everything would remind me of him. I’d hear songs and remember him. There were times that I’d be out with our common friends and I would think I’d see him but it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I’d wake up my mom in the middle of the night and cry to her because I felt like my heart had been ripped out. My world was shattered!!!

Then of course I hit the stage of depression, then anger, then bitterness. I got so angry and bitter, that I gathered everything he gave me… letters, notes, gifts… and put everything in a box. I carried it around with me to school, and I was debating with myself whether to give it back or not. Well, eventually I did not. I did what Howard told me. But I did it badly. Coz of the fact that I couldn’t resist calling him and still talked to him for more than a couple of times. Plus another fact that his family wouldn’t want to let me go! I love them so much! But it was not exactly the smartest nor the most proper thing to do. But sometimes when our emotions get the best out of us, even the smartest people make stupid mistakes. It was really difficult for me. I just wanted to forget it all happened. When people would ask me what had happened, I’d just say I don't want to talk about it. I cut off all ties with him and he did the same with me. I went out with my friends, and just had fun. Of course there were still moments when I’d think about him and then I’d miss him.

I don’t remember the exact moment I realized I was over him but I’ve realized them all by going to our fave place. There! It just happened. I finally got my sanity back and realized I have a future to prepare on. That he's no longer part of it and someone will come someday. Now, after almost a month, he and I talk occasionally, the things of the past forgiven. There's still that part of me that will always care. I believe the past is there for me to learn from. I also believe that I am meant for someone. I know he’s out there somewhere, and I trust God that He will bring us together. I’ve tried doing things on my own and I usually just mess‘em up. I’ve had my heart broken into pieces so small you could fit the pieces through the eye of a needle. That’s why I decided to trust in God instead of doing everything MY way. And besides, why mope around and be depressed when there is so much in this world to experience? We all have friends who’ll stick by us until the very end, friends who stick by us through the good and the bad. And we have a Friend up there Who wants to take care of us, and all we have to do is let Him.

Now, I’m abso-bloody-lutely over you.

2005-08-13 10:20:28 2005-08-13 14:20:28 open Publish post 326008364 Best Bag Ever xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:19:05 -05:00

2005-08-10 09:06:05 2005-08-10 13:06:05 open Publish post 323812573 Hey whats up 1 2005-08-10 12:34:00 2005-08-10 16:34:00 Spring_Branch_kings [email protected] http://spring-branch-kings.xanga.com/ 0 18332827 0 618182861 hey gorgeous <3thankss for subscriibiing _ hott song * lovess iit <3comment back * keep iin touch <3_ love you biitch <3*xOx MiiCH SUMMER x3 1 2005-08-11 19:21:00 2005-08-11 23:21:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 621212243

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