#and then absolutely sucking at romance himself LOL

[willowser]

aww 🥺 secret romance writer bakugou 🥺

[wannab-urs]

Pedro Pascal Character Fic Recs | Vol 36

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

Welcome to my bi-weekly fic rec list! This is everything I read in the last two weeks. There's some seriously amazing shit on this list, y'all. If I counted properly there are 9 fics, two of which are series.

All info provided by the author unless it was blank, in which case I filled it in.

Punish me, Officer Djarin

Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

You've been thrown into an imperial prison for anti-empire speech. During your sentence, a new prison guard is hired, Officer Djarin, and you take a liking to him.

f!reader, reader is able-bodied, canon divergent, uneven power dynamic, brat taming, degradation (scumbag), fingering, vaginal sex, creampie, his glove in your mouth lol, no use of y/n

To Tell You the Truth

Ezra series by @concussed-to-pieces

Our story begins in the Green, after a certain meeting that culminates in an explosive Truxican standoff...

Survival, Worldbuilding, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Healing, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Extreme Duress, My First Work in This Fandom, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Past Abuse, Feelings Realization, Artist Reader, Reader is a prospector, Outer Space, Sharing a Bed, Roommates, Mutual Pining, Vaginal Fingering, Praise Kink (if you squint), Religious Terms used improperly, Catholics H8 Me, Remember, no man's penis will heal you okay, and fanfictions are not research, But I'm an indulgent fuck so it's okay, Vaginal Sex, big dick energy, Eventual Smut, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Just get it all in there, adoration, Very Flowery Terminology, Happy Ending

Sanguine

Ezra one shot by @marisferasiop

since being turned as a boy into- whatever liminal state of cryptid he is now- Ezra has walked this earth ageless and alone, never finding his place or a partner for long. He interrupts your meal in the city one evening, and brings you home to strike up a deal; feed from him, alone, and keep one another safe from discovery. The fact that he finds his purpose under the soft graze of your teeth and home between your thighs is a nice side effect.

lots of blood, smut, soft yearning sweet boy Ezra, mapuche mythology and monsters, schmoop. Ezra is a subby little sap in this.

Routine

Frankie one shot by @endlessthxxghts

Frankie makes a new routine for himself to help with his mental health. In that routine, Frankie stumbles upon you.

POV switching - stops towards the end, then POVs are combined. Friends to lovers. Slightly scared and reluctant friends to lovers. Slow burn. Canon divergent to Frankie’s Triple Frontier storyline (No history of lady or child for Frankie). Brief mentions of South America and Frankie’s mental health. Brief therapy talk. Overthinking!Frankie, but Reader comforts and reassures him. He’s not insecure the entire time, promise lolol. Hints of angst, but this is me we’re talking about — always will be a happy ending here🫶. No physical description of reader besides coffee shop uniform (no size descriptions used) - any descriptions are neutral, no adjectives to describe (purely things like “your thigh” etc.). No use of “y/n”. SMUT heheheh (making out, cunnilingus + fingering, unprotected P in V sex + cumming inside, breast worship/titty sucking).

Go Your Own Way

Javi P one shot by @schnarfer

Loving you isn’t the right thing to do

1979 Texas, very toxic relationship, sort of enemies to lovers if you squint a bit, absolutely no happy ending for our fuckboy Javier, no descriptions of reader except she has hair and there are outfit references, no specific ages mentioned in 1979 but they would both be early 20’s, Cheating/infidelity mentioned, smoking (OF COURSE), mention of drinking and drugs, two mentions of vomit, the good stuff? we’ve got flirting, kisses and smut; protected PIV, oral (f receiving), fingering, very light dirty talk, couple of light slaps, pet names (cariño, baby), Javier POV, I’ve tried to remove any overt British-isms but some may have slipped in, probably a bit of canon divergence, as well as wild historical and geographical inaccuracies but we’re going for vibes, yeah? and a note, we’re always Fleabag coded here.

Some fools fool themselves

Javi P one shot by @freelancearsonist

You were meant to be a mission—an insider that Javi could wring information from on some of the biggest names in the trade. It didn’t go to plan, but maybe that’s not so bad.

Rated MA for unprotected p in v sex (don’t do this irl pls), oral (m receiving), throatfucking, handjobs, creampie, spanish dirty talk (both javi and reader - translations in footnotes), reader has female anatomy and uses fem pronouns, reader wears a bikini, smoking/nicotine use, cheating (reader is married this is the mob wife fic you all asked for), kind of angsty but mostly just porn with the slightest sprinkling of plot for ✨flavor✨

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

Marcus P one shot by @whataperfectwasteoftime

I am a visitor here. I am not permanent.

angst, breakups, mentions of Teresa x Patrick Jane

Cabuorir

Oberyn/Din/Reader series by ToricTailor (AO3)

You would have torn the heavens asunder to stop it.

Fix-It, That's Not How The Force Works (Star Wars), Get This Man A New Ship, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Reader sandwich, Force-Sensitive Reader, Polyamory, DVP, more

I want it, I got it

Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

Joel gives you unlimited access to his credit card to shop online while he eats you out.

reader is able-bodied, no outbreak AU, porn with little plot, no age specified for reader, reader sits on Joel’s lap, established sugar daddy relationship, oral sex (F receiving), fingering, squirting, pet names (angel, baby), no use of y/n

Happy Reading!

[ambrosialdesire]

idk if you’re comfortable with nsfw so you could ignore this if you want…

but what kinks do you think the aot men have as yanderes… 😏

lmfao anon, most of my fics are straight nsfw or have implications of nsfw in them, it's alright to send in nsfw reqs/messages haha (this is not me being mean, im saying this in a joking tone hehe) and sorry this took so dang long to post, i decided to make this my blog's anniversary post LOL

since you didn't mention anyone specific, imma do reiner, eren, levi, zeke, and jean. you already know i'm always gonna put reiner in LMAO eren and levi and jean cause i kinda already have a feel for them in yandere writings, and zeke cause idk why not lol

i'm kinda doing main kinks? 4-5 of them for each of them but idk, i'm just writing whatever works for them in my perspective even though any of the kinks can work for either one of them in certain situations lol and i'm terrible at making long headcanon lists so it's just me blabbering and trying my best to describe the scenarios 💀

NGL THIS IS PROBABLY A REALLY UNPOPULAR OPINION but i don't really like when headcanon lists are like one sentence long and they never go in depth about it or when they make each bullet point a sentence that correlates to the previous point IDK WHY IT IRKS ME SO BAD AND SOME PEOPLE MIGHT LIKE IT THAT WAY AND THAT'S FINE LOL

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

YANDERE AOT MEN'S KINKS

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing(s) : reiner x fem!reader, eren x fem!reader, levi x fem!reader, jean x fem!reader, zeke x fem!reader tags + warnings: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, explicit sexual content, violent themes, dubcon/noncon implications, breeding, size kink, praise, dom/sub/switch dynamics, rough sex, edging, dacryphilia, marking, blood mention, cannibalism mention, muzzling, exhibition, voyeurism, quickies, pussy worship, forced feminization, knife kink, choking, slapping, collar/leash use, cockwarming, wax-play, forced domestication, humiliation note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───

REINER

YOU ALREADY KNOW THE BUSINESS WITH HIM reiner's kinks are definitely anything associated with breeding. mating presses, creampies, lactation, etc. he just loves claiming that way, pushing his cum in and leaving himself plugged inside to ensure that pregnancy is in the future. you belong to him and what more to show it than giving you a child. literally whenever he has sex, it's like he goes into a rut and his mind locks in that he must breed you. then when your milk starts coming in, seeing you leak unlocks something in him that makes him absolutely feral. he finds it so attractive and will spend hours sucking on your tits, esp if you're in pain and in need to help get it sorted out. ain't that kind of him? size kink. since reiner's pretty massive (hehe), he would always adores how much smaller you are. if you're shorter than him, it gives him the feeling that he has to protect you and it gets him so hard seeing you struggle to take him all in, cockhead bulging out of your lower stomach. if you're taller than him or roughly the same height, he does anything to make you feel smaller than him, pushing you down into the bed or making you go on your hands and knees to take in his dick in your mouth. reiner wants you to be weaker than him, to be completely dependable on him and him alone. he's not completely a dom though in my eyes tbh, he's more of a switch with dom-leaning tendencies (bc he first gotta set the control he has over you as a yandere). sometimes he wants to be dominated, wants to be the one begging to put his cock inside of you, and brought to tears from how good you're using him. he's vocal as fuck too, whimpering and moaning so loudly whenever you ride him and play with his tits (CAUSE OMFG I WILL CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE IDEA EVEN MORE THAT HIS TITTIES ARE SENSITIVE AND SO SQUISHY AND PLAYABLE BRUH). he'll always have a limit to how much control you have over him during sex so don't get too cocky cause he'll take over in a snap of a finger. it doesn't matter if he was a breathless mess that had been edged for hours and just came all over his stomach, he's gonna pound you until you're the one whimpering in overstim. HUGE PRAISE KINK, he loves giving praise and receiving it. he's complete putty in your hands if you praise him, makes him feel super good about himself when you say that he's fucking you so good and he loves to feel you clench around him when he says that you look so pretty for him or that you're taking him in so well. even out of sex, he whispers sweet little compliments in your ear just to see you get all flustered about it.

his yandere tendencies come out when he catches you with other men (cacoëthes you'll always be famous TO ME), even if you don't intended to be involved with them, and bro FUCKS like he's trying to prove a point. he's pushing deep into you until his tip is pressed flushed into your cervix and biting at your neck, leaving dark marks that'll last for days to come. he's growling into your ear about how no one and i mean no one can compare to his cock and the way he fucks you. he's literally carving the shape of his dick into you so you'll never forget it. if you try and run off with another man, he wouldn't and never will amount to reiner. that's even if you can ever escape him in the first place.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

EREN

this mf is into edging. eren loves to build you up and never let you get there, mostly because it makes you become desperate and so delirious to cum that you'd literally do anything to get there. even he goes CRAZY if he got edged for hours and he cums hard, like the shooting kind of cumming all over you. he's into that shit too, covering every inch of your skin in his warm stickiness. it's like a mark that you can't quite get rid of.

eren's a dacryphiliac, nothing gets him harder than seeing your tears stream down your face. crying because it's so good? stiff as a rock. crying because it's too much? oh my god, he's going to keep fucking you until you're a blabbering mess. he's also into that predator-prey thing, where you're desperately trying to get away from him but your stifled sobs always make it easy to find you and sooner than not, he's pounding you into the nearest surface while licking your tears off your face.

bites, hickeys, bruises, anything of the marking sort, he's into it. eren's known for being a biter, so any chance he gets and for him to be able to cum sometimes, he's sinking his teeth into your flesh. the taste of your blood makes him a little delirious (if this was the actual aot-verse, i think that he's and any other titan user that consumed a lot of human/titan blood is used to the taste (not armin cause he's only eaten bertolt i think) and it's like any other usual meal (they just have a hint of cannibalistic tendencies and you cannot take this idea away from me)). sometimes you'll have to take physical action to make him stop biting down so hard, you elbowed him hard one time when he literally wasn't letting go of your shoulder. the absolute terror that you felt when you looked into his eyes when he finally released you, your blood dripping down his mouth. it was like staring at a starving wolf in the middle of his meal.

because of this, sometimes you muzzle him. eren hates it since he likes biting you, but he's starting to like it a little more every day he gets to fuck you. bro's like a feral dog with it on, the cool metal pressing against your neck, and you could feel his drool drip down from how much he wants to sink his teeth in or because of how much your cunt is making him all hot and delirious. eren's probably the most vocal out of all of them, so you're going to be hearing every whine and groan that's coming out of him.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

JEAN

I FEEL OUT OF ALL OF THEM, JEAN'S THE LEAST FREAKIEST 😭😭

that being said, he's into exhibition/voyeurism LMFAO like mutual masturbation kind of shit or he's in the closest watching you touch yourself while he's beating it. something about the thrill of it all gets him going, especially when he fucks you in places where you're definitely going to get caught if you don't stay quiet. the closet thing was an accident at first, he was in your room to ask you something but you weren't there and he started snooping a little too much, getting absolutely distracted that he almost barely heard you start to unlock your door. he hid in the closet, waiting for you to fall asleep but instead you started playing with yourself before you went to bed and that was the start of it all lmao AND you still don't know he keeps doing it.

quickies are jean's fucking passion, bro can fuck you in a short amount of time to make you both cum multiple times and he's a little too good at hiding the fact that the two of you just had sex from around the corner. slicking his hair back smugly while adjusting his clothes back to normal, watching your legs quiver and shake as both of your fluids drip down your thighs, it takes all his might not to fuck you once more.

pussy worshipping, he's definitely into that. he can spend hours knelt underneath you and eating you out, not caring whether his dick is begging for any sort of needed attention. i feel like out of all five of them rn, he has the number one spot of giving more to his partner than receiving it like he's absolutely locked in to please you (reiner is second bc i said so and it's totally not a biased choice 😈). even if you're crying from overstimulation, he's not gonna stop until he says he's finished eating you out.

domestication kink + forced feminization, even if you're the independent type who has a distaste for wearing skirts and dresses, he imagines there's a world where he could make you completely submissive and a dependent housewife. jean does things subtlety so he might slowly incorporate more feminine items in your routine or say something that may have you second-guess yourself, and without you even realizing, you're slowly becoming the woman he dreams of in his head. delusional king!

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

LEVI

for levi, i think isayama said one time that levi's kinda subby or sumn like that so fuck yeah i'm gonna incorporate that in a bit.

knife kink ofc, his handiwork has always been surrounding these sharp pieces of metals so how could i not add this. it's not the threatening aspect that he's into, he already knows that you know that you're always going to below him. it's the fact that he can carve his name into your fragile skin whenever he wants and you can't do anything about it, and watching the small rivulets of blood seep through makes him absolutely feral even though he doesn't admit it. idk how to really describe it until i actually write it in a fic lol

levi's definitely into choking, especially because it gives him absolute control of when you're allowed to breathe, giving up something so important just for him. he never goes pass the line where you pass out because he wants to watch you cum while you're breathless, gasping for air as you clench around him in shudders. he's seen a lot of people get choked out to death, he's even done it a few times, but he likes seeing it done the most on you. especially because you struggle to beg for him to stop, scratch up his arms like a poor little kitty cat and wriggle around in fear. levi swears nothing looks so much prettier than that.

slapping and he's damn good at it. he's slapped your face a few times to get your attention back, but he loves slapping your ass. he hits hard enough to leave his handprints, keeping you sore for days that you can't lay down or sit down right. levi bends you over his lap if you're being a brat and SMACKS until you're sobbing for him to stop but even so, he keeps on going until he feels like the punishment is enough. for being a good girl and taking his punishment so generously, he'll finger you afterwards, running his lithe fingers in-between your clit and into your dripping hole. you may say you hate it, but your pussy is saying otherwise. if you slap him, you are not walking for a week LMFAO

okay now im gonna go into subby levi hehe sometimes he doesn't want to be the one in control because his job is all about control and demanding others, so he'll let you fuck him (with limitations as well). like he'll lay in your lap and let you jerk him off as he sucks on your tits, letting you decide if you want to edge him or overstimulate him. it's a little strange at first being able to control your captain like this but you get used to it, letting him thigh-fuck you but never letting him enter your sopping pussy. sometimes he gets so irritated by being denied so often that he'll break the deal off and start taking back the reins.

levi's a collar and leash man, something about tugging it to direct your attention and getting tugged gets him going. he likes the way his name glimmers in the name tag, how pathetic you look as he sharply pulls it to make you look at him. he usually will only put it on when he's the sub, letting you pull it towards your pussy so he can eat you out. he doesn't force you to act like a dog, it's just the ownership of you that he likes.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

ZEKE

cockwarming, cockwarming, cockwarming. this man loves to keep you plugged up whenever he's reading or smoking a few cigarettes outside. he usually cockwarms you when he wants another way for relaxing and what more than to sink into your warm and tight pussy. zeke's so fucking nonchalantly mean about it too. if you try moving off him or trying to finally cum, he smacks your thigh hard or pulls your hair back to look at him, taunting you about how you're being naughty and naughty girls don't get to cum. so he'll make you stay on him for another few hours or so, then cumming on your ass or stomach and sometimes never making you cum either as punishment.

ZEKE'S ALSO INTO BREEDING BUT LIKE A TWISTED VERSION OF IT, LET ME EXPLAIN. of course, it's canonically known that he doesn't like the reproduction of eldians and wanted the extinction of them through genetic neutering (which was fucking insane btw how he thought his plan would be able to be possible when it was eren's world to control is so funny to me 💀💀). so basically what i'm thinking is that he is so disgusted with the idea so much that he's into it. like the idea of cumming into you and filling your womb gets him so unreasonably hard and he doesn't really know himself why it does. it always happens when he sees you treating a kid so kindly that they may as well be yours and then he starts fantasizing about a homely, domestic life with you with yours and his kids running amok. he never goes through with it of course but he gets close a couple of times, so very very close.

idk ig he kinda gives wax-play vibes. seeing you blindfolded and pouring hot drips of wax on your skin or nipples, twitching in shock from the suddenness of the vague burn amuses him. sometimes he'll tie you up and leave a candle to drip all over you for a few hours and see how many times you cum over it.

zeke's definitely into humiliating you because why would you ever have any sort of pride when your place is in his bed and being his obedient fuck toy? like he makes you roleplay as his subservient maid, buying the skimpiest outfits ever in existence, taking away your underwear and making you wear a skirt that you have constantly tug down, literally anything that makes you feel shameful of yourself. but he reinforces you into liking it by praising you while he fucks you in those fits, talking about how pretty you look with your pussy out just for him and how his stupid little maid is so good at pleasing him.

[spidervee]

marbles • jake seresin x fem!reader

summary: jake doesn’t always think before he acts and you tend to do enough thinking for the both of you. this is the story of your friendship and five years spent apart; your budding romance and broken hearts. because when you tell jake you can’t marry him, you don’t expect him to ever come back to you. but a lot can change, especially when you wake up in the hospital and his gorgeous face is the first you see

a/n: started this a while ago (with a different title, but never posted it, deleted my account, then realized this was a little brain worm that never went away lol she’s a hot mess y’all); going to try a taglist, so hmu if you’re interested? Each part of the story will cover a different key moment in jake’s relationship with reader

part one of eight: easy (like you) -> you and Jake reconnect at a frat party in freshman year

part two of eight: under-rehearsed -> coming soon! jake realizes he's still got feelings for you and you realize that maybe you never stopped holding a torch for him

series warnings: 18+ only! fem!reader; reader has no racial or body type descriptors except that she is shorter than jake; reader is nicknamed “jersey” but no use of y/n; loads of cursing; military inaccuracies, sorry; hospitals; mentions of: accidents, surgery, food, near-death experience, failed engagements, weed and alcohol; smut, dirty talk, and sexual banter — more specific warnings to be marked part by part but y’all know I’m writing Jake with a daddy kink; mutual pining; idiots in love; an excuse to write cowboy!jake; more tba if necessary

snippet: “Heard you’re a hero now,” you offer, desperate for the conversation to shift. If you can get Jake talking about himself, about his flying, then you’re safe. He never shuts up about it. 

No luck, you realize, when he simply sucks in his teeth and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Your sister told me about it,” you continue, “As much as she could, I guess. Doesn’t really add up though, you being there to save those other guys.” 

Instantly, you and Jake both seem to realize where this is heading. Like the conversation is a semi-truck coming at you with its headlights blinding you and its horn blaring, but there’s nowhere to turn so a collision course is imminent. 

“Don’t do this, Jers,” Jake pleads. “Not now.” 

“I’m just saying,” you continue, riled up by Jake’s seeming refusal to talk, “You obviously put yourself in extra danger, willingly, might I add, to do something heroic. For what? A medal? Bragging rights? Jake, you’re absolutely—“ 

“I have nothing else!” 

The interjection, impassioned and angry as it is, catches you off guard. Jake has never raised his voice at you before today, not ever. Not even when you accidentally killed the engine on his tractor. 

You don’t reply, not for lack of wanting. It would seem that your voice has gotten lost, shrunk into your lungs, ashamed of all it had let loose just moments ago. Jake looks at you with a pained expression and you’re reminded of the night you might as well have pulled his heart out of his chest and crushed it under foot. 

“I’m…” 

“Forget it,” Jake sighs, defeated, “I’ll leave. Glad you’re okay.” 

He goes. You let him. 

Until you hear the front door close softly and you’re dragging yourself across the hallway. By the time you’re outside, he’s halfway to his truck. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jake shouts, disbelief written in his raised eyebrows. He looks half-angry, half-terrified that you’ll throw yourself down the porch steps. Your stance is ungainly, your body off balance with that weight of your cast and it would take very little for you to fall, especially as overwhelmed as you feel right now. 

“Don’t leave,” you call, trying not to cringe at how cliché you sound. “Jake, please. Just…stay?” He stares at you for a long moment and you feel sweat trickle down the back of your neck, but you’re not convinced it’s from the Texan heat. 

A small hint of a smirk starts to tug at the corners of his lips and it makes something warm and welcome explode in your chest. “A good ol’ Southern boy ain’t gonna leave his girl stranded, is he?” 

“Didn’t think you were my girl anymore,” Jake whispers, by your side in three long strides, his arms taking care to hold you up where you’ve started to wobble.

[doctormage]

ok i know this was literal months ago but genuinely curious what your actual answers are for dai romances: which do you think is the best narratively, which is the most fleshed out, which do you like the best, which has the LI you like the best? also bonus q which do you think is the best written as a contained story vs best written as it meshes with the broader narrative/themes? whichever of those isn’t already covered by “best narratively” :o) bonus BONUS q: best kiss superlative???

this made my WHOLE day tysm :') as expected this got incredibly long so under a read more it goes lol

[insert general disclaimer that these are just ~my thoughts and opinions~ and i won't pretend they're inarguable/objective]

best narratively: SOLAS. SORRY

this comes as a surprise to absolutely no one but I SWEAR I don't just have solas fucker glasses on. like I do have them on but I am capable of being objective I prommy

for one, Solas himself is a critical part of the narrative! i've gone on this rant a trillion times so I won't go full throttle here, but I will go slight throttle. every single companion serves as a foil or mirror to Solas, including the inquisitor. Solas watches the inquisitor go on the exact same path that he did in becoming Fen'Harel—the loss of self, the sacrifices for the greater good, the impossible decisions that have long-standing and international impact. it HAS to be brutal to watch. extremely juicy to intertwine this with a romance.

for another, I am just. destroyed by the fact that the inquisitor can come SO CLOSE to getting him to abandon his task. they don't know who he is, what he's done, or what he's trying to do; just by virtue of being themselves, they make the world around him come to life. he is an immortal being that sees the separation from magic as the most tragic and unnatural thing possible. so much so that he doesn't even view the people who walk this earth as people at all. they're NPCs in the bad timeline to him. he's just waiting to reload his save.

and literally without even knowing any of this, the inquisitor makes the world around him come to life. they make what he sees as tranquiled husks into people he cares about. they turn a fallen, lifeless world into one worth appreciating. and, for a time, into one worth saving. (both in the sense that he stays to close the breach / save everyone from Corypheus, and in the sense that he nearly abandons his plans.)

"you're real, and it means everyone could be real. it changes everything, but it can't." like. are you serious. i'm eating drywall rn

i find it absolutely insane that his romance was a last-minute addition. it is the sparsest of the romances as far as in-game content for main game, so that part I understand, but it works so well in the overarching narrative (and presumably that of DA4 as well) that it really blows me away that we almost didn't get it. as annoying as solasmancers can be—and I know we really can be—it makes a lot of sense to me that so many people were sucked down this rabbit hole

solas is a devastatingly lonely man for a multitude of reasons. he is immortal in a world where not everyone is anymore. nearly everyone he ever knew is dead. the thing he did to prevent the Evanuris from destroying the world still, in his eyes, destroyed it anyway. it is his greatest regret and it literally surrounds him at all times and he can't talk to anyone about it. through the inquisitor he is able to know what it is to love and be loved, and it shakes him so thoroughly he nearly abandons his entire purpose. and because of that—assuming from what we know of DA4 so far—he refuses to get close to anyone ever again. for fear of laying down his burden. I FEEL INSANE!!!!

i do want to throw in a disclaimer that I think most of these things are still true with a high-approval, non-romanced inquisitor as well. my first lavellan was a Solas bestie and I maintain that the overall themes that I love in the romance are still present in the platonic arc. but we don't get the crestwood scene without the romance, and FOR ME PERSONALLY(!), that is the most crucial part of the relationship's role in the story and what it says about both his and the inquisitor's character arcs.

last thing I swear. I also think inquisition has a lot of untapped potential as a story about what people can accomplish when they work together and care for one another. I acknowledge this isn't really explored in-game but TO ME! it is an important part of the story overall and solas's place in it. he altered the fabric of reality because he wanted to help people, and eons later he stuck around to knit back up his greatest mistake...to help people. I am gutted by the fact that this might be the only time in his entire, immortal life that he had the relationships with the people around him like he does while in the inquisition. AND by the fact that rather than see what caring for one another accomplished, he sees it was a weakness. completely misses the point because his shame and regret is just too suffocating. again i'm extrapolating a lot here but I couldn't not mention it in an answer about why I find his romance the best narratively lol

i'm so sorry this became literally an essay but academia never leaves you and I will also never not be deeply unwell about Solas. I hope this answered your question and wasn't just me losing my mind for 7 straight paragraphs (jesus christ) dksfjsdk but yeah. i'm done now

most fleshed out: CULLEN

this is a Bit hard for me to say bc i've only fully romanced 3 LIs in inquisition (Josie, Solas, Cass). i've read through/watched the others but imo it's not quite the same as experiencing the major beats of the relationship alongside the rest of the game. ANYWAY

to me the cullenmance seems most fleshed out, and I would be surprised if it didn't since he's been around for 3 whole games. they're able to rely on the players' past experiences with him as a kind of shorthand to develop his character (imo) and that history makes it feel a little fuller than romances with people you've only met this game. and he's the only other LI you can marry in trespasser and i am naught but a bitter josiemancer at the end of the day

also it pisses me off tremendously bc EYE think if they had actually put any effort or thought into his "redemption" he could've been one of the most impactful romances in the game! perhaps even second after solas! they had such a juicy opportunity w him (character-wise AND romance-wise) and they just. fumbled the absolute shit out of it. but idk why I expected anything else tbh slkdfjd

romance I like best: JOSIE <3

i'm taking this to mean the one I would like best for myself, and i'm sure i'm at least partially biased bc she was my first EVER dragon age romance but I really, really love Josephine's. I find it so sweet and such a great extension of her character <333 I love being able to go smooch her in the gardens whenever you want, I love that you get her to unwind a little, and I love the whirlwind fairytale drama of it all when you literally duel for her hand. is it unrealistic that the other dude would just give up? perhaps but idc it's TRUE LOVE and it CONQUERS ALL

I also personally find the leliana shotgun talk endearing bc it gives us a glimpse into their friendship. genuinely one of my only complaints is that I can't marry her/didn't get a romance specific scene w her in trespasser. like you just go to the opera. but whatever it's fine bc I love her so much. Josie deserves the world and, as someone who has spent her life taking care of others, she deserves someone who wants to take care of HER. I love that the inquisitor can be that for her :') additionally the epilogue slides (at least if you disband the inquisition idr what the others say) are fucking adorable bc her family loves you!!!

LI I like best: JOSIE AGAIN <3

antivan girllll I love youuuuu!! Solas doesn't win this title bc honestly he annoys me sometimes and Josie never annoys me lmao (I do still like him and think I would if I was a person in-game, but I gotta be realistic). I wish I had a deeper answer to this but I just think she's sweet, funny, interesting, beautiful, smart, sexy, and cool. I love that she's aggressively organized and that she can diffuse almost any situation and that she loves to talk shit and that she has regular tea parties with the other advisors. she is so cute and I love her!!! just in case I haven't said it enough times already!!!

best written as contained story + best written as it meshes with broader narratives/themes: I'M BALD/NUANCED ANSWER

tbh. the josiemance is probably one of the best ones (imo) as a contained story. you could completely remove it from the game and it would still make sense and be cute. it CAN mesh with the broader narratives/themes but it really doesn't have to and I haven't thought about this at all until just now! wow!

actually maybe i'll sort it this way. of the ones that could function well as standalone: Josie, Cassandra

ones that didn't NEED to happen during inquisition but still fit in well thematically: Blackwall, Dorian, Bull

ones that mesh best with the game's broader narratives/themes: Solas obviously, Cullen, and...Sera, actually, I think!

given that inquisition is about losing your personhood and being treated as a symbol, I appreciate that Sera is someone who tries to stay grounded and keep the inquisitor grounded. pretty sure the inquisitor actually says so verbatim to her in the scene after the post-corypheus party. she loves you for YOU, and reminds you that you are "a people" and not just the inquisitor, and that becomes a rare and beautiful gift by the end of the inq's story arc :')

i reserve the right to switch these around w more thought but for now I think i'll leave it there lol

best kiss(!!!): STILL BALD/NUANCE

to get the obligatory solasfucker brain rot answer out of the way: when he kisses the inquistor while removing their arm. I won't write another 7 paragraphs about it but just know that I COULD. lmfao

i love the Josie kiss after you duel for her hand ;_; and the one at the very end of the scene where her foot pops like mia in the princess diaries ;_; wah

i swear i'm not exclusively picking ones that i've personally romanced!! there are many good kisses those are just my favs

ANYWAY!

thank you SO MUCH for this ask I had an incredible time answering it this was extremely fun for me. and a good excuse to go back and watch all 8 romances via YouTube lskdjfslkdjf but fr thank you <3

[everythingsbetterunderthestars]

What are your favorite lgbtq+ books?and tv shows and movies?🏳️‍🌈

Okay finally have some time for this so let’s go!

Books first (these are only my absolute favourites if you want more recommendations I have many more that I love):

- Red, white & royal blue (by Casey McQuiston) (mlm and hinted poly if I remember correctly) (romance)

- Crier’s War/Iron Heart (by Nina Varela) (wlw) (fantasy, sort of sci-fi?)

- Solitaire (by Alice Oseman) (yes I count this as a queer book even if it isn’t the main subject) (aroace spectrum + pan and possibly other stuff) (YA)

- Radio Silence (by Alice Oseman) (mlm + demisexual + bi and possibly other stuff) (YA)

- I was born for this (by Alice Oseman) (trans gay + bi) (YA)

- Loveless (by Alice Oseman) (aroace and LOTS of other stuff: lesbian pan and nonbinary, possibly others I don’t remember everything) (YA)

- If this gets out (by Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich) (mlm) (romance)

- Ace of spades (by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé) (mlm and wlw) (thriller)

- They both die at the end (by Adam Silvera) (mlm) (YA? idk how to describe this book)

- History is all you left me (by Adam Silvera) (mlm) (YA)

- Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe/Aristotle and Dante dive into the waters of the world (by Benjamin Alire Sáenz) (mlm) (YA, coming of age, sort of romance, I don’t really know)

- Lark and Kasim start a revolution (by Kacen Callender) (nonbinary + trans + polyam) (uuuuuuhh I guess romance but also coming of age maybe? I have NO idea how to describe this book but it is criminally underrated why is no one talking about it it’s a masterpiece please read it)

- Giovanni’s room (by James Baldwin) (mlm) (uhm. weird)

- This is how you lose the time war (by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone) (wlw) (sci-fi but more fantasy honestly, sort of romance I guess)

- Last night at the telegraph club (by Malinda Lo) (wlw) (romance)

- Six of crows/Crooked Kingdom (by Leigh Bardugo) (mlm + maybe other stuff in the background I don’t really remember) (fantasy)

- The priory of the orange tree/A day of fallen night (by Samantha Shannon) (wlw + mlm + aroace + nonbinary + trans, there’s basically a bit of everything in there) (fantasy)

- The witch king/The fae keeper (by H. E. Edgmon) (trans + mlm + wlw + ace + polyam + nonbinary, there’s also a lot in there) (fantasy)

Okay now for tv shows my all times favourites are:

- Heartstopper (romance)

- Young Royals (drama, romance)

- Heartbreak High (drama, comedy)

- Half bad: the bastard son and the devil himself (fantasy)

- Good omens (fantasy, comedy)

- Sex education (comedy, drama)

- She Ra and the princesses of power (cartoon, fantasy)

- The owl house (cartoon, fantasy)

- Interview with the vampire (fantasy, horror)

- Everything sucks! (comedy, drama)

- Orange is the new black (comedy, drama)

- Years and years (dystopia)

- Buffy the vampire slayer (this is my absoute favourite show ever, but the queer rep only arrives season 4) (fantasy? Don’t know how else to describe it)

And now for the movies:

- Fanfiction (coming of age?)

- Elisa & Marcela (romance)

- Pride (uuuuuhh demonstration lmao? Idk comedy?)

- But I’m a cheerleader (comedy)

- Red, white & royal blue (romcom)

- 120 BPM (er… drama?)

Hope this helps, sorry again for not answering sooner😭 if you want more recommendations I’d be glad to help, just need to find the time to answer lol but I’d genuinely be super happy :)

Also if you have any questions about these don’t hesitate to ask me!

[dirigibleplumbing]

Would Cas be any good at DnD, with Charlie doing her best to shepard him, or is that perhaps a step too far for him? It took him 10 years to figure out Dean wanted him to wear a cowboy hat and he wasn’t very subtle

Jack would get there eventually. He might try eating his dice and he’ll forget the rules half the time but he’d get there

Actually, Cas would get the rules and know 49 different ways to break every scenario Charlie comes up with but he’s not RPing very much when he does this I imagine

(I also imagine at a certain point Cas and Charlie are still trying to make it work for Dean…’s character’s sake, yeah…his character who’s arc relies on Cas’ character that may or may not involve a bit of romance RP that’s plot NECESSARY ok????!??!)

Or perhaps Cas is a natural, he’s had to pretend to be human and he’s been so many different versions of himself he channels say his time as CrazyCas for his character who’s like the (sexy) Court Jester Bard. And said (sexy-yes Dean thank you) Sexy Bard knows the Royal gossip and has to relay this information to the (also sexy) Wandering Warrior Dean plays who is very much like a cowboy but in medieval times (but is secretly the lost heir??? And Cas’ character would know that dundunDUN)

((Am also assuming one of them is playing a female character at Dean’s repressed insistence if this is pre-slash lol))

Cas has read and memorized all of Charlie's DnD books, including the Dungeon Master's guide. He can tell what numbers dice will land on while they're still falling. He has listened to and watched livestreamed DnD. 

And he absolutely sucks at roleplaying. 

After some practice with Charlie, he figures out how to get by without maintaining a complex character persona.

His first character is a Kenku, who only repeats sentences that other player characters have said, phrased exactly how the character did, but in Cas’s voice.

Next he plays the sapient steed Dean’s paladin character rides. Cas’s ability to narrate his horse behavior aloud takes a big downturn every time Dean says (blushing furiously) something like “so then I saddle up--um--Cas--Cas’s character--and we--ride--”

Finally, Cas comes up with a humanoid who’s a real player character’s player character: a drow Aasimar cleric. Cas is great at knowing when to smite and when to heal!

And yes, his character is a woman. Sure, he’s familiar with Drizzt--maybe he’s even read the books--but he’s well aware that it’s more likely for a woman drow to be powerful. That’s just the rules.

Dean, who for this campaign is playing a multi-classed rogue x fighter who was just rescued from Malodomini by powers unknown:😳

[gith-egg]

Drik and his Companions (continued from this ask)

Figured if I have more to say I may as well just say it so here we go

Wyll: Drik and Wyll have a mutual crush on each other. It absolutely destroyed me to have to turn Wyll down in the game because they would be soooo cute together and basically perfect for each other EXCEPT for the crucial caveat that Wyll is very strictly monogamous and Drik is just funamentally not. Their friendship was a bit awkward for a bit after figuring this out. They bounced back and are now very dear friends, but there's still a tiny bit of I guess melancholy in both directions regarding what might have been

Lae'zel: She's the first of Drik's own kind that he's met since he was a toddler so that's kind of a big deal for him. He has a lot of conflicted feelings at first - he's really keen to learn about his culture and Lae'zel is keen to share, but she's also prickly, intimidating and unpredictable. He does a lot of sucking up and trying to please her because she has information he wants and that's just his habitual strategy for getting it. In time though they do develop a genuine bond as trusted and respected allies. She still makes sure to remind him daily that he's a pathetic weakling but he's figured out that's Lae'zel speak for "I care about your wellbeing and safety" and probably just responds with a cheeky "love you too" to see how severely it makes her scowl at this point

Astarion: HOO BOY. This one goes under a readmore because there is an essay worth of nonsense here.

So when I started Drik's run - this was my first time playing the game, going in almost blind - my tentative plan was that I was going to romance Astarion. Astarion very quickly made it clear this was not going to happen. For at least the first third of the game they got on each other's nerves SO bad - Drik's general tactic for getting what he wants (other than stealing) is to schmooze and flatter and "make friends" with everyone who isn't immediately hostile to him, which Astarion interpreted as genuine altruism and wrote Drik off as a soft-hearted fool. Which... he actually is, but he got annoyed at Astarion not seeing why he does things the way he does when Astarion has almost the exact same approach himself a lot of the time. Cue a lot of petty bickering.

Then to make matters worse, as they got to actually know each other, Drik quickly developed a great big crush. (Yes, he falls for people left and right - he's spent the past decade in self-imposed isolation other than family visits and he's in his early 20s. It happens lol)

Astarion mostly still thought he was an obnoxious kid and Drik was well aware of that and didn't expect the feelings to be returned. Unfortunately Astarion was also 1. a rude bastard about it and 2. saw fit to try to use him as a juice box anyway, and being a kind of self-loathing barely-adult with a weird crush, Drik obviously let him, and kept letting him. (It's anyone's guess how he even has enough blood to spare any. Thank the gods for rangers being able to self-heal)

He spent a lot of time just letting Astarion do whatever he pleased re: eating tadpoles and reading cursed books and the like, enabling him even - Astarion, effectively, achieved exactly what he was aiming to in manipulating him, and without even having to be nice about it.

Then he got slapped with the consequences when Drik developed such a complex about it that he went to Astarion and tried to apologise for taking advantage of him ("I was letting you feed on me because I was selfishly indulging in the intimacy even though I know you don't see me that way") and, subsequently, Karlach caught wind of the whole affair and had some choice words with him, and a lot of talk was had between the three of them about boundaries and expectations and treating people right.

Somehow, despite all of that, they are now practically inseparable. They still piss each other off all the time and get into stupid petty squabbles. Astarion will absolutely be asked to be best man at Drik's wedding. They would be lowkey lost without each other present in their lives in some capacity. I don't know how this happened or what you would even call their relationship. I love them.

[2n2n]

do you think m1tsuk0u will ever actually work out?

I'm not sure what "work out" means .... I think they will continue to have an arc that directly involves the other, and I think that arc will ultimately have a thesis/point of resolution of some kind, pertaining to their complexes. They are involved with one another for a reason. The answer to their problems must be each other, or they wouldn't be here.

If you're asking more like, "will they reach stability/comfort with each other?" I have no idea, really! Their dynamic is very odd to me-- it's very confrontational from the get-go, and there is no aspect of the dynamic which aims to repair or work on that? I don't know if Kou is eventually meant to learn how to be tender, or express himself earnestly ... because unlike HanaNene, nobody is actively working the other down in that manner. Though moments of crushing honesty are par the course for JSHK, happened for Akane/Aoi, Sumire/Hakubo, so, surely we'll hear one or the other say something true....

The situation between them is about "trust"; Mitsuba has never really trusted anyone (he is so reluctant towards everyone and everything), and Kou is never trusted with anything (too immature, too useless). Their arc will surely eventually have them trusting each other, crucially!

If you're asking more like "will they form a traditional romantic relationship" I have honest to God no idea, I am out of touch with modern shounen or what's possible in a gfantasy story... from my own history (I am 30 now & I read a lot of shounen en mass at like, 15) I'd be like, "it's not really that kind of manga", I would not expect a shounen I'm reading to suddenly have maintext boy kissing boy relationship 100+ch in. I would expect it to stay alluded to and teased but always left up to interpretation.

For instance. I think the Yugi are entirely, a real thing, I think Amane was in love with his brother. But I THINK the extent of that 'romance' will always be under the ambiguity of familial love (I mean, I think that's WHY they're family...), and the metaphor of murder/consumption, the act of sublimation of becoming a yorishiro, and I really don't think it is a "kiss and confess" situation so to speak (and yet, it's important Amane confront his feelings towards his brother! It's important Nene-chan figure out those feelings, to understand Hanako!). There will always be metaphors and abstraction, probably, but those metaphors and abstraction Will Be Canon. I like the poetics of such things anyway, and I don't really care about conventional things ... and with Sumire/Hakubo's consumption being very vividly a symbol of indulgence/consummation/'taking', the language is already set-up for the Yugi. Eat someone, make them yours. Mitsuba and Kou have also touched on consumption, where does that climax? Kou eats Mitsuba in the Ghost Hotel AU. What does that mean? I have no idea. Lol.

I think one will have a better time thinking in terms of "the story will inevitably and absolutely always feature these two, who are important to one another's psyche" and not waiting on things as head-of-a-pin specific as like, relationships coming to pass. When I see modern fandomers gunning for canon dating or kissing, they seem constantly miserable or angry ... ? but the foreign fandoms are doing what I've always done, and, they are just hollaring about whatever insane shit is happening in canon and engaging in analyzing the meaning and symbols present in those actions. I do not see AmaTsu's hinging on "I hope they kiss", rather they memetically repeat lines in canon like "let's do it right." or obsessively discuss the details of the shinjuu, like, "Amane doesn't seem like the biting type, so do you think he licked or sucked on Tsukasa's heart after killing him?" and the satisfaction and passion in those conversations is unbearable, its like the sun burning brightly. And this to me is shipping on the level the manga wants you to, engaging with its text, what it values, what it wants you to think about.

[silveremily]

Wally Headcanons!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I’m just gonna say this 😭 I wanted to do this so bad lol

Don’t get angry cuz idc, maybe nsfw headcanons??

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Wally loves when you cuddle him, he will never admit it because he thinks you will judge him for it.

He bakes sweets, so much for you, I mean daily he will come over with cookies or pie just for you. Lucky bit-

He will never leave your side, he seems to be the possessive type when it comes to romance, or a platonic relationship, he’s the one that no matter what, even if you break his heart he will love you, but get ready because he will get revenge back.

Wally loves having play dates! One time you were in the kitchen in Julie’s house and peeked into Julie’s room and he was dressed up as a princess and Julie was laughing her head off, next thing you know he’s ignoring you for a week.

Just remembered, Wally is VERY insecure, if you make fun of the man in any way, even as a joke, he will start staring at you, like a glare in some sort of disappointment and make you leave his house, all of his windows close and if you put your ear to the window in his room you can hear him just crying his heart out, blaming himself for how he looks, and how he’s not as pretty as the other puppets.

Wally loves touching his partner when he’s in a relationship, and I mean any way of touching, if it comes to comfort, to love, to sexual, he has to be touching you or he will go crazy. One time Frank thought that he was too close to you and pulled you closer to himself. Wally just stared for a second before he started literally tearing Frank apart. You have to stay with Wally at all times now or else another person will have to get sewed back together.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Saucy Parts rn

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Wally seems very big for his confidence but he’s not the biggest you’d see, he’s six inches and is very insecure about his size, he is thick though and it’s pretty hard to handle. Never and I mean never make fun of his size. He will come to your house and make you pay. Nobody likes to see our Elvis Presley wannabe emo.

Wally is into some kinky shit, if you stare at him long enough he will start begging. I feel as if Wally would definitely have to stare at someone during sex, he’d be the one to look as if he’s judging you but actually adoring your face while you fuck.

Is it just me or does he seem as he would secretly want to be dominated? If you ask to do it he will pretend to be like “fine fine” but on the inside he’s squealing his ass off.

Wally is the one to be very sensitive, I mean very sensitive, if you even just rub his sides he starts whining as loud as hell until you give in and have sex.

I feel Wally would be a slow and calm pace if he’s in a good mood, occasionally teasing you but mostly giving you the pleasure. He just whispers you praises, smiles at you, and stares at you the whole time. He says, “Oh honey your so pretty!” or maybe “Your doing so well baby!”

Whenever he’s in a bad mood and you two get freaky, man will make you have the most toe curling, back arching, spine tingling orgasm you’ve ever experienced, whenever he’s angry he just treats you as if your a sex doll, going rough and fast, almost animalistic like. He will absolutely make sure to leave visible marks on you for everyone to see and stare at, marking you as his. He would say, “Your such a cry baby. You can barely handle this pace? I’ll give you a reason to cry.” or sometimes he just stares and groans if he’s tired.

Wally’s favorite position is secretly the 69 position. I swear he wants to suck you off or eat you out.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Boundaries!!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Wally has multiple boundaries and if you can’t respect them get out of here.

He loves getting praised but if you go too far he will need alone time for a while, he’s the one that is absolutely obsessed with attention but if he gets too much he will hide from everyone and try to calm down, he doesn’t get horny but he gets in a thunderstruck mood where he’s all sad that he has never felt love before.

Wally had a hard life as a kid, always getting bullied for how he looked, that’s why as he got older he got more, how do I put this in a good way, fashionable. He had a massive glow up and tries to stay that neat person that has the best confidence for as long as possible. If you start treating him bad he will tell Barnaby and vent to him and Julie about what you say. Let’s just put this where it doesn’t turn out well for you if you hurt him.

Wally never understood anything, he didn’t know what love was until he saw you. You’d always teach him new words but sometimes he feels dumb if you keep teaching him all of these new things.

Thank you for reading!! 💙💛🧡💙💛🧡

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 9-11

MTMTE 9

“You're telling me those eyebrows aren't secret recording devices?” Well, not his eyebrows lmAO

as annoying as it made the fandom, I do like how this comic doesn't just gloss over how the Decepticon movement started out with good intentions and solid points, they weren't cartoon villains who loved to kill and oppress because it's fun. They just ended up that way lmfAO

Rewind's out here making relationship charts

Rewind is so cute lmAO no wonder he was initially one of my faves when I first got into this comic

“Is this Prowl fellow going to be a recurring character? 'Cos if so he needs to be fleshed out a bit. I'm not feeling it” fucking womp womp lmfAO talk to Barber about it

ah, yes. The panel that gave birth to the headcanon that was the bane of my existence for the better part of a decade lmAO honestly it was never even the buymech headcanon in and of itself, it was how everyone who subscribed to it made Drift into a poor little meow meow who needed to be saved from himself, specifically and only through the power of getting dicked down but in the good and respectable way this time that drove me fucking insane lmAO like I get that he has issues, but not the kind that make him helpless, I assure you. Also cool job demonizing sex work as “the scary nasty profession that traumatizes you but is also shameful on your part and you only have the excuse of doing it if you have no other choice”

oh lol I forgot that the same decepticon generics that find Drift tripping in an alleyway are the ones that tried to help Pharma kill everyone on Delphi, including Drift lmAO these dudes just keep fucking with Drift by pure coincidence

love Drift purposefully agitating Ratchet lmAO get his ass. Also still love the little detail of Ratchet getting paint from his hands on Drift's face, it's such a tiny detail only there for one panel, but I cherish it so

nnnfghndf they both still think about it..... oops uh oh I still love Dratchet lmfAO

“These days all you get is state-sponsored scrap or froth like 'the top 10 Metroplex sightings'” god. Fucking. gOD LMFAO THE ABSOLUTE FUCKIN STATE OF IT ALL........

the thing about kinning Ratchet at a young age is that the older you get, the more like him you become. Which is even more fucky in this instance because that was a quote from young Ratchet lmfAO god

aw man I forgot about Red Alert's suicide attempt, poor guy. I remembered that he was out of commission for a while, but I didn't remember that he did it to himself

MTMTE 10

jdfsks love Chromedome using Rung's model ships to reenact a chase scene

oooghfj Prowl being genuinely nice to Chromedome in the past...

lmao get dunked on, Drift. It's still so funny watching him try to be a cool guy at Cyclonus

oooOOOUGFDHJ WHIRL HONEY........ you got done so dirty I'm so sorry

I remember seeing people criticize Rewind for getting on Chromedome's case about talking about his experiences with Prowl a little too much what with his quest to find Dominus, like “oh so YOU can talk about your ex,” but I think that it's less that Rewind is jealous or something and more that it's about Prowl lmAO like “do not evoke the name of that demon more than necessary.” Which still sucks (mostly bc I wanna hear more, I am so interested in how they almost could've made it work, LOVE that kind of doomed romance shit) but is understandable, Prowl has done too much

I also love this little “thwarting government conspiracies” arc, I like how the mystery has played out. I've been playing/watching a lot of mystery-solving media lately and while my favorite way to do it is in a way where the viewer (me) can piece it together before the grand reveal if they're smart enough, I also like how this has the characters figuring things out as they go along in a way that's not really possible to predict bc they put things together immediately after getting the necessary information, there's no “it's a surprise tool that will help us later,” which I think is fine for this one little arc, especially since it's working within the framework of the characters telling a story that they all know the details of already. But it also doesn't feel like I'm being info dumped upon, like we're getting the clues/information at a rate that lets you breathe a little before hitting you with a new piece of the puzzle. I just really love mystery-oriented media lmAO

MTMTE 11

I do love that the group that actually gets to tell a story on screen isn't the first group Rewind put together. Just casually dropping that a bunch of background characters that we never really get to see much of (save for Percy, Sunstreaker, and Blaster) are connected to each other

“he's like a historical constant” stares off into space........

oof Roddy feels responsible for Red Alert's suicide attempt, at least on some level... and he gets mad at Magnus for suggesting they not bring him back online, but honestly, I get it. Honestly, I understand both Roddy and Magnus on this one, as someone who constantly struggles with the whole “wanting to live” thing and yet continues to do so out of mostly spite and desperation. On the one hand, you gotta try to live no matter what, but on the other, god please just let me rest lmfAO granted, Magnus just wants to let him rest a bit and resuscitate him later but. Yknow. As a human that can't do that shit, etc, etc, you get it

this fucking ship's alarm goes “awooga” lmfAO looney tunes ass siren

god that fucking Shockwave namedrop, what a cool way to reveal that, what a cool backstory to give Shockwave aaaAAAAA

[praebitorem-glaciei]

Hehe..

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Esen isn't a bottom by any means, he's actually pretty experienced. So it depends on who dominated that time. If it was him, he'll softly kiss Aalto's tacet mark and then get him some water, clean up the condoms and lube. Make sure both of them take a piss.

If he bottomed he usually massages his legs to ease the pain, but Aalto has started doing it for him. He usually just goes to the bathroom, takes care of his legs, drink some water, and then CUDDLES while watching a show.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part on himself would be his tits or ears.

His favourite body part on partners is usually their ass. Which is true for Aalto but additionally, he loves Aalto's hands.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I’m a disgusting person)

Loves being cummed on~! Absolutely the kinda guy to dig being covered in it. If he has to wash his hair to get the cum out later it was an extra good time.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He's listened to Aalto masturbate before and got off to it. It.. was not a one time occurrence.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Pretty experienced! But between his last lover and Aalto there was definitely a good period of time where he didn't have sex. So he's a bit rusty but so fucking eager

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Absolute favourite is doggystyle where he's on his forearms and knees and his partner is gripping his hips with full access to his sternum tacet mark to play with. Usually his tail has to be pinned between his back and his partner's body though lol-

Second favourite is this riding position, where he can bite and kiss Aalto's throat and neck, and choke him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Very goofy! Giggly lil fox guy

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Trimmed! He's a very cleanly man. The carpet is very interesting- I answered xray before this one so the info is there mostly lol

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

Esen loves romance, he's not even secret about it. He loves intimacy so much.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He created his own vibrator. He masturbates every time. Aalto. Does. Ahem.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Wax ♡♡ loves hot wax over his body

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Bedroom mostly but he likes sex in the alleyway outside their place or the beautiful surroundings. But for a real fun one? The roof.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Everything. But when his partner is focused and the tongue slips between his lips and he licks his bottom lip. Esen is WET immediately.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Being degraded turns him off. He's not your fucking test subject.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers giving. But he has a habit of deepthroating and ignoring the tip cause he just gets too eager. Tug his hair a lil and pull him back up-

But when he's eating pussy he is SUCKING on that clit/tdick/whichever. UNTIL ITS RED AND SWOLLEN AND HIS PARTNER CRIES FROM OVERSTIM.

Did I mention the oral fixation?

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough babyyy!

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Doesn't care. Esen just wants to be fucked as close to daily as possible. And given he's a very busy "consultant" he'll take a quickie if he's gotta

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Oooh yeah. Does pretty often too! Wdym he wants to fuck directly beside where the impermanence heron is nesting???

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

More than his partner can usually lol

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Mhm!! Cock rings and vibrators and weird shaped dildos his beloved.. both him and his partner!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Gets too eager so he's kinda bad at intentional teasing. But phewww is he good at accidental teasing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Pretty quiet, soft pants mostly. groans. Esen kinda always.. forces himself to be pretty quiet, sex is no different.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

One time he pinned Aalto to the ground from behind and bit his tacet mark with his fangs in the middle of the dim forest just to see what he'd do.

Aalto misted out as a defence mechanism only to mist directly back underneath Esen when he realized who tf it was

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Tboy with hairy pussy!!! He doesn't have much of a tdick unfortunately, but it's definitely bigger than his clit ever normally was.

He trims but doesn't shave. His pubes are dark brown with some green ones littered throughout lol

His boob shape and size is pretty much like this chest plate:

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Very very high! Not quite hypersexuality but there are times where makes some poor sexual choices cause of his needs.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He usually needs a drink before falling asleep. So it can take him a while.

[kyupidos]

01/29/24’s delivery 🏹✉️ twisted wonderland

*leans on expensive car* lol heyヽ( ･∀･)ﾉ_θ彡☆Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ,ヽ( ･∀･)ﾉ_θ彡☆Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ ;; summary. ‘they really just want to romance you, really really—but by the sevens is it difficult.’

characters. heartslabyul , diasomnia : ace trappola , sebek zigvolt ( separate ) ;; romantic . 🖇️ tags. reader is gender neutral ( you/your ), reader is yuu, pre-relationship, romantic fluff

📡 _a/n. i think that the first years trying to impress the reader bc they’re crushing on them but just failing miserably while the reader is mayy or may not aware of it all is just like really funny to me;, so like here ^-^!!.! ( i could only do these two because it was getting long enough..others will come soon hopefully..i mean can you believe i started writing this at the beginning of the month?? god the writers block is really getting to me 😭 )

a. trappola

— the time..the time had come. ace had finally pulled himself together, clenching his fist dramatically in a matter that had deuce sighing in second hand embarrassment. ace, had finally decided to admit to himself that he liked you. maybe it did take him a week or two of trying to ignore the way his heartbeat quickened when you were around and the way he, for some reason ( in air quotes, says the rest of the first years ), felt flustered whenever you complimented him in some way, like when you call him cool as you watch him from the sidelines during basketball practice. ( floyd absolutely makes fun of him for it btw. )

— seriously, he thought he was over with relationships ever since his girlfriend from middle school, yet here he is daydreaming about you during his classes. for just a split second he considers asking azul for a contract to get a date with you, but then he remembers the last time he signed a contract with him, and cringes at the idea of you scolding him again for it—wouldn’t do good for his pride. guess he’ll have to suck it up and do it, in the name of getting to call you his super cool amazing fantastic lover. at least he has the experience, right? albeit he did end up ghosting her, but he thinks he had his own reasons—and even so, he wouldn’t do that to you, his feelings for you far surpass his feelings from that middle school relationship.

— maybe he was putting less effort into that middle school relationship than he originally thought. but nay, he must put in the effort into this for you, or else you may never call him cool during basketball practice again! so sevens forgive him for being so cringely romantical with you. aka he started teasing you more often and being more clingy ( and asking for homework answers more often since he spent all that class time thinking about you ). but unfortunately for him he is not aware that you are aware!! so he’s flustered once more when you start teasing him back and asking if he likes you.

— he firmly denies it while trying to teasingly ask you why you ask and if you yourself are into him, but in the end he just can’t do it and tries, and fails, to change the subject, but you just go with it to not embarrass him further. okay, so. maybe he should be ‘cringe’ with his romantic pursuits again.. if only to have reason to be able to have his gaze on you and not berate himself internally for being a dork, to hold your hand knowing it’s because your lovers, and to give you kisses with you reciprocating..

— dang it, he can only hope you’ll accept his feelings by the end of it.

— ( little does he know you’re already planning several dates and a confession of your own in case he can’t get it across. tell him to ignore the way the other heartslabyul members make fun and tease him now and then, and how trey seems to be baking treats for an occasion he’s not aware is to happen sooner or later. )

s. zigvolt

— plan ‘ignore the more-than-friends feelings he had for you’ failed. now sebek can’t help but be overdramatic about it, considering it disservice to his servitude to malleus. then he remembers the fae prince’s casual remark about his pleasantry in regards to his friendship ( sebek would rather it being something more, ) with you, and he thinks to himself. he recalls what he first thought of you, a mere weak human who he believed had practically insulted malleus’s bloodline when you referred to him as ‘tsunotarou’. he’s honestly astounded by how much his feelings for you have developed over time.

— he’s unconsciously starting to memorize these little things about you, how your expression changes even slightly when faced when certain scenarios, how you’re always so willing to listen to his ramblings of malleus’s accomplishments and other things like how prideful he is of his duties as a knight, and commentary on books he’s read. you’ve even started to pick up some of said books, listening to his recommendations intently. he seriously can’t help it as it fills his heart with pride to know you take those words of his to heart, and he can’t help but feel giddy every time he remembers that you actually listen.

— slowly, you may notice how he starts to flex his good qualities even more so than usual. consistently noting his more than exceptional abilities as a knight and in academics, still reveling in the way you’re so interested in his words and even indulge by giving your own commentary every now and then. in fact, he even starts to refer to you less as a ‘mere human’. you can recall a few times he slips a little and even compliments you, saying things like ‘dear human’ and the like, but those are few and far between, so it’s best to just appreciate when he refers to you simply by your name instead.

— of course that doesn’t mean you ignore it—you don’t particularly point out what he says, for you’re sure he’ll become embarrassed and do it less often, and you find it quite cute so you’d much rather that not be the case. instead, you reciprocate and compliment him in return, which no doubt leaves him especially flustered by what you say. he puts in the effort to determine how to court you, writing to his parents to ask them for advice on the subject. he does manage to pull through, but he’ll always end up the one with pinkened cheeks by the end of it.

— after all, how was he to know that behind the scenes, you were asking the rest of the diasomnia crew for advice in courting him? he’ll never get why they seem to giggle when he brings you up, and tease him for sevens knows why.

— ( unless you bring it up to him when either one of you finally confesses; then he becomes embarrassed yet again ( unlikely to be the last time it’ll happen—he’s quite easy to fluster, i’d say ). )

[theskyexists]

Perhaps I will never find a book again that deals with female characters as protagonists the way I want again.

Anyway I try again! The world in a different place of the world. The Hallowed Hunt. The Weald. Makes sense that she'd pull demons riding humans and making up a balance out of the book - that's what I WAS THINKING.

So the girl was given away to be raped by a prince..uh huh. And she called on the Son of Autumn. I guess thats somehow a bit more effective than calling on the Daughter of Spring???? What are the Daughters weapons? The gender determinism in this (violence IS COSMOLOGICALLY a man's job, right, capability) is grating on me more and more.

But it seems strangely coincidental that the leopard also had a demon...or maybe he could see it. Or maybe she just got the one from the Prince.

Ah she thinks the truth can be seen as self-evident. The truth will be hidden of course. Ingrey has a decision to make. He doesn't conceive of it that way as of yet, pretends he's neutral, that the judge can be swayed and he won't have a say??

His duty is to deliver the girl. But he was also the investigator on the site. HELLO

What is it with this author and always hating on the female servants for being frightened, chatty, weak.

Oh damn, so r these animal spirits demons or just animal spirits? And then you don't go to heaven. Well. That sucks. In this land of certain heaven. Oh. Now they say the Wealdings DID worship the gods. Then why forsake your damn soul.

Always the men have to be older and more experienced. And if not, then always Ista must have equal men galore. And always women must prove somehow more capable than expected

Didn't save her, she saved herself, then tried to kill her, almost drowned, she saves him. Lol. But no romance please.....

Ah, she is the son's chosen...oh. she's not. But she MUST be. Ah the animal acts as spiritual channel.

So this animal stuff is wholly different from demons. It is the Son's business. Goes to show that even the Quintarian (ofc) can do genocides etc.

They assume HES saved her. Urgghg

Man. This better turn into a triumph for Ijada

Ok. So vines from all gods....but they are bad....

So why would disorder from a demon allow the animal spirits to lead their humans to a second reality.

It honestly seems that the Wealdings weren't half wrong about taking animal spirits within them. But is it really true that then they can't be taken up by their gods?? Who would do that to themselves???

Why is it that Ingray loses time and control of his body to his wolf when Ijada is perfectly at peace and one with her Leopard lol

I'm starting to warm up to the romance. That's because protagonist is a bit of a failman though normally quite competent, and his refusal to be a tool has stirred. It seems like he might be Ijadas equal and he is spiritually attracted to her (as well)

Yes. Ingray is leashed to some death centaur still...

They call the son ' brother' here. Is the Daughter also Sister?

Starting to like how the protag is falling all over himself discounting himself

Ah. A horse. Wencel is absolutely the man who has Ingray on a leash.

Does Wencel carry a demon on top of his animal?

Does Ingrey not REALISE that Wencel is digging and planting and trying to get rid of them??

Why would Wencel share this knowledge about the animal-god? Ijada might be right to say that he simply wants others to KNOW, smugly delightedly. But clearly he is possessed with a very old animal-spirit, passed down Horseriver kin.

Ah but so is Ingrey's. That's why he saw so much history.

It seems Ijada is also of some deep line, her dower being the genuine site of great genocide

Maybe Wencel yet aims to marry Ijada somehow to come by her dower. But he doesn't need to legally own it to enter.

The Ice Bear is the Daughters? No of course not - the Bastards. Forgot that the Bastard is also the Son's brother lol

Good thing Jokol the prince is himself deeply in love. He will surely want to help Ingrey. 'yep I love someone- she beat a prince to death bc he wwas trying to rape her at the time.' Lol

Oh. To be so an intimidating man as to be able to intimidate your very own master.

He did pretty well teling Hetwar and the Prince off. Appealing to higher ends, the gods, practical considerations, personal revenge (his).

The author is a woman, and I am sure it is nice j( I thought so) to inhabit the freedom's and greater powers and particular problems of patriarchy as a man. An insanely gifted man, always, of course. Bit i cannot inhabit it fully, when there is always such a tempting female character around to inhabit instead - not as object of pursuit, affections, admiration. But as subject....

I like how Ingrey is decidedly different from Ista and Cazaril - more doubtful.

Ah. The king was already immortal and bound. So that is who Wencel is.

Really describing some serious genocidal maniacry here. Darthacans were pretty crazy about colonising the Weald. I don't believe for a second that the Weald was so bad.

Ah right. The problem of empire. One sets boundaries to the land where one's people dwells. Then they are picked at by the other people, the enemy now. You campaign against them, conquer, set boundaries further in, but now these must be defended, and are picked at. And aren't you justified? Better to genocide the lot, make it all empire in one, for peace. For peace!

Right.

Yes well - Wencel the ancient animal spirit is telling them because he must emotionally tell them.

OH! So the Son comes to Ingrey but not to Ijada???

Yep there you go. They split animal from human spirit after death. No problemo. The Darthacans were idiots

So why does HE command the animal spirits. Anywayyyy. Ah because Ijada needs to be grateful to him. For no reason

Jeeze she's laying out magical possibilities and then when you think you've pinned it down she extends those possibilities AGAIN

If Ingrey is the Wencel Old Weald Prince heir then why would Wencel throw him away like that. I guess there must be other options. A younger Scion somewhere

So Ingrey or Wencel has to become King in order to break the spell and restore the old Weald. Doesn't make much sense that Horseriver king never headed a cultural campaign, and never aimed for the kingship.

The book will end as such: they will kill Wencel and in that moment call his melted hodgepodge of a soul out and into the Son's hunt. But not before Ingrey becomes king (breaking the spell and making such a thing possible). All in the same moment

Wouldn't it be great to be saved by a good, funny, wnd wonderful godblessed woman and be able to offer service and know that you were contributing to good with absolute certainty on a deeply personal level as well? Now that would be a good life. Every day a day of gratitude and friendship

This was the FIRST time he could have stolen the kingship back???

'The terrible charisma of kings... men crept close, longing to bask in it, for something more than material reward. The lure of heroism, the benediction of action, might have only death for its prize, and yet men flocked to the king's banner. The seductive promise of perfection of self in service to this high bright-seeming thing?'

Hah

Aha. The sons got elected before the fatherss died.

So .... They did a big spell that would have made the warriors immortal but only the king was in it yet. The gods did not come to help them and let them be slaughtered by Audar. (Seeing how much they meddle to resolve sticky supernatural situations - why can't they goddamn well meddle in politics some more). The culture was destroyed and colonised. They struggled free politically but very like their conquerers now. The king kept going and going, the warriors killed there could not reach the gods, and their souls could not be taken up anyway because of the animals. The king was so upset by the gods betrayal that he kept the place closed from the gods. Audar must have known and deliberately genocided 4000 not just lives but also eternities. The king tried to break the spell, because it was torment, and he could not get back the Old Weald. But he needed the Hallowed Kingship and the Banner woman and the Shaman to cut the loop of the spell. But how in the hell did that bit of Hallowed Kingship even end up in the current King? If the old Bannerman never made it out of the slaughter?

And what was up with that heart on the banner??? Why half half? What ???

The magic in this was elaborate and elaborately elaborated and in the beginning the mysteries too spoken and in the end the mysteries not enough explained.

[sukirichi]

black magic [01]

REQUEST. arranged marriage + enemies to lovers (sukuna is a simp and lowkey a housewife)

CONTENT/WARNINGS. some suggestive scenes, but overall fluff and romance! slight crack fic, I guess? I was laughing when I wrote this lol

NOTES. I NEED A HUSBAND! SUKUNA I’M GOING TO CRY GOODBYE THIS HAS ME SOFT. also anon i’m not sure if you wanted something with more ~sexual tension~ since this is kind of just comedic, but I hope you like it anyway!

part one | part two (nsfw)

“This is new,” you comment with a glare, your ankle propped on Sukuna’s knee.

“Shut up,” he rolls his eyes, pushing your skirt aside to clean the wounds you attained through exorcising curses. You’ve taken a particularly strong curse today and you’re caught off guard, barely finishing the mission unscathed. Limping all the way back home isn’t easy especially since you live on top of the darned mountain, but if Sukuna’s going to kneel in front of you like this...maybe it wasn’t too tough a journey. “You should stop going to missions you’re not ready for. Look at you, all wounded and bloody.”

“You sound like you care.”

“You’re my wife,” he huffs while dropping the bloody towel on the floor. Sukuna wraps the bandage around your ankle and carries you bridal style even though you’re perfectly capable of walking, but he shoots you a silencing glare. You’d have knocked him in the face any other day, but he’s particularly warm and smells nice today – plus you’re beat – that you bury your face in his chest, ignoring that stupid fluttering in your stomach. “Of course I do.”

You snicker, mind tracing back to your earlier years of this dreaded marriage.

It definitely wasn’t the best – the memories blurring between strangling each other to making out as if breathing was never a thing – and it felt like forever ago when you first met him.

You’d never say it out loud, but... you don’t regret this arranged marriage. Not when Sukuna is tucking himself beside you on the bed, your head above his muscular chest a place similar to home. He covers both your bodies over with a blanket, pulling your body closer to him with a strong arm, his lips pressing onto the crown of your head.

Ugh, you think to yourself, giving in to the need to cuddle your husband after a long day of work. You still refuse to say it out loud, though, and you irk him further by muttering, “That’s not what you said two years ago.”

“I wasn’t in love with you then.”

 “I refuse to be married to you!”

Sukuna fights back the urge to cover his ears. Ever since your clan decided to visit his land and started exorcising curses one by one, his life has been nothing but hell. Not only are your relatives the most arrogant people ever with a consistent god complex, they just had to let their little mortal child be in charge of taking on the stronger curses. Seriously, what were they thinking, sending you – who’s barely even out of their training bra years – to deal with curses like him?

Everyone knows Sukuna is a no bullshit man. He won’t hesitate to cut your head off the moment you came raging at him, but then he sees how young you are and decides to send you back to your family.

Expecting that everyone would just call it a day and he’d get offerings for his unexpected mercy, Sukuna is beyond stupefied when they send you back to his temple, all dressed pretty with a basket of fruits and flowers braided in your hair. He remembers growling because you look adorable, but that’s easily wiped away when you open your mouth, your voice scratchy against his ears as you stomp your feet like the young mortal you are.

Sukuna pushes a thumb to his forehead to ease the impending headache, and that’s just from your presence. Something inside him tells that you’re going to be a bigger pain than you look.

“You don’t have much of a choice. You should’ve thought of that before deciding to run rampage over my land,” he reminds, turning boredly to his lone servant from above his throne. Sukuna isn’t impressed, to say the least, especially with your clan’s audacious proposition to gain his favour just this once. “Is this really the woman you bring me – the one they insist to be my wife?”

“She is their best fighter, my Lord.”

Well, he can’t disagree to that. You did, after all, single-handedly give him a cut on the cheek. “She’s feisty indeed.”

“Don’t talk as if I’m not here!”

“Mouthy too,” he mumbles to himself, but your sorcerer senses are sharp and easily picks up on it. He sees you flush angry again, looking immensely adorable with your tiny fists clenched like that and he snorts, waving a hand in the air. “Whatever. Get the wedding over with,” he nods to his servant, his sigh loud and tired as he makes his way to you.

You don’t stiffen at each haunting step, his eyes only glimmering harder with entertainment. It’s rare to find a mortal that doesn’t quiver at the sight of him, the urge to break you only growing stronger.

Even as he cups your face, making sure to not let his claws dig into your precious skin, Sukuna smirks. You’ll be entertaining indeed.

So Sukuna makes a promise, four eyes surveying the way your body is starting to fill in curves at the right places, the swell of your flesh just perfect in his hands... He chuckles to himself, daunting you further as he leans down to your ear, taking pleasure in the slight way your breath hitches. “Maybe then I’ll get to teach you a lesson or two.”

You’re definitely something else, taking advantage of each presented opportunity and not wasting any time before you make your move. Right after the wedding and everyone’s left, leaving you alone with your new husband behind closed doors; you push him until he’s on the ground, legs straddling each side of his hips while you growl above him – the sound similar to a battle cry.

Sukuna merely smirks, barely moving a muscle as his large hands come up to rest on your hips to steady you. “I’ve imagined countless ways you’d be on top of me like this,” his eyes light up with humour upon feeling the cold blade on his skin, “None of them included a knife on my neck though.”

“Shut your mouth. I will kill you myself,” you warn, pressing your knife harder until it draws a slight tinge of blood.

You hardly look threatening above him like this, dolled up to look the best in your wedding with this cursed being. If anything, you look more divine than deadly, and Sukuna thinks that perhaps your beauty could be your best weapon. You are bewitching, after all.

“I refuse to be your Queen and sit next to your throne.”

“Then why didn’t you stop the wedding?”

“I—”

Sukuna’s teasing grin grows wider when you pull back, trying so hard to not trip over your words. It takes all of his self-restraint to not take you right then and there, but he does a good job of holding back, enjoying this view above him instead. “Could it be you’re attracted to me after all, hm, little one?”

“Do not test me, Curse. I’m more than capable of exorcising you myself.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that. You’re the strongest in the Gojo clan, are you not?” he prompts to appease you, “I don’t even want to see what you’re capable of, but maybe, just maybe...” just as his eyes darken, the edges of his lips turning up into a smirk, Sukuna digs his claws into your thigh in a possessive show of ownership, a painful reminder that you’re his now. “...You could put on a little show for me?”

“I hate you!”

Experienced and strong as you are, you’re nothing compared to a thousand year old curse who’s killed a lot more people faster than you could blink. Sukuna immediately notices the animalistic way you draw your blade, arm swung back with rage written all over your face. Before you could so much as bat an eye, he easily switches the positions until you’re under him, using only one hand to pin your arms above your head, your blade effortlessly thrown to the other side of the room.

“As I thought, you’re a lot prettier under me like this,” he observes, roaming his eyes shamelessly over the fabric clinging prettily to your body. You’ve fallen silent at his unconcealed attention, your compliance enticing him to lean closer just to inhale your intoxicating scent.

“Not so feisty now, little one? Where’d all your hatred for me go?” Sukuna pulls back with widened eyes, “Oh? Am I hearing it wrong or is your pathetic human heart beating so loud right now?” You refuse to look at him, wriggling your hips in an attempt to leave, completely unaware that the mere movement is hypnotizing the curse above you. Sukuna grips your hips in warning, not wanting to destroy you – not now, anyway. “You know all you need to do is say it. I’d gladly take you right here and then.” His words spoken with that deep, throaty voice immediately sends a wave of heat down your core, but you turn away from him, breathing hard and nervously; something Sukuna picks up on in an instant. “Little one...have you never had a man hold you like this before?”

“N-no...”

“I see. Pure and innocent behind that ferocity, huh?” He surprises you by pulling away, smoothening his white robes down as he leaves you panting still on the floor. “Fine. I won’t touch you unless you ask me to.”

“I’d rather die before that ever comes out from my mouth.”

“We’ll see about that,” he smirks, winking at you before he shuts the door. “Little one.”

There’s a lot of weird – and utterly inconvenient things – about being Sukuna’s wife. The man eats everything, absolutely everything, and it doesn’t help that he sucks at hunting too. For a man so huge and burly, he sure is lazy, preferring to do the laundry in the riverside instead while you go out every day to prepare your meals.

You actually don’t mind, but it’s very fun to complain around him.

You’re on your way back to the temple when Sukuna grabs at you, making you drop the freshly caught birds onto the ground. Your brows furrow, about to scold him for being too eager again when Sukuna stares at your arm, his lips pressing into a thin line.

Following his line of sight, your lips form an ‘o’ shape. There’s blood trickling down your forearm from his claws accidentally cutting you, guilt written all over his face. Another weird thing about Sukuna is that he babbles a lot when he’s emotional, and you’re too tired to hear him beat himself over it that you just drag him inside your room, sitting his ass down before taking a clipper.

Sukuna scoffs when you start cutting his nails. It irks him that you don’t even bother wiping the blood off first and he tsks, eyes narrowed at you. “You should have thicker skin.”

You roll your eyes as you file his nails; you’ve been married to him long enough to know it’s his way of saying sorry. Not wanting to let him wallow in guilt any louder, you pad kisses over his knuckles before swiping the black ink off your desk, using a pen brush to colour your nails instead. Sukuna hovers behind you, head tilted to the side as he watched you. “Are you painting your nails black?” he utters in disbelief, trying to ignore the fact he feels...proud and even a little smug. “Not so fitting for the angelic sorcerer now, isn’t it?”

“I’m only doing this so you don’t feel left out.”

“Maybe I’ll add markings to your pretty face too,” he cups your jaw to make you turn to him, landing a solid kiss flat to your lips which makes you sigh, pretending to be annoyed but leaning over for another peck anyway. Sukuna laughs and pulls you onto his lap, kissing your neck this time around, a little annoyed that you don’t stop in brandishing your nails. “Wife, what do you think?”

“I have work, Sukuna. You flirting with me doesn’t change the fact I need to go.”

“Come home safe for me, at least?” he breathes down your neck, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You’ve definitely changed since the first time he’s met you, starting from a mean (although he stands strong that you are still mean to him sometimes) temperamental little one to a mature, stronger sorcerer who’s secretly weak for his wife.

Unable to resist him as always, you turn around once you’ve finished painting your nails, rubbing your nose over his until your strong, scary husband is turning into putty at your hands. “Of course I will,” you peck his lips one last time, Sukuna’s eyes closing as he dives in for a deeper kiss. “I’ll always come back home to my handsome husband.”

If anyone were to ask how it’s possible that the King of Curses is actually very soft for his sorcerer wife, everyone would claim it’s impossible and a heresy – but if you ask Sukuna, it’s probably just black magic doing its wonders.

[babybluebex]

laszlo kreizler nsfw alphabet

so yeah this... Happened. the zemo version is coming soon, stay tuned! (probably tomorrow morning bc a bitch is tired lmao)

(gif credit to @lindir)

A = Aftercare.

Laszlo is such an aftercare king. He’s checking on you in every way he can think of: asking you if you feel alright, maybe massaging your hips if he had you in a weird position, offering you dinner or wine, maybe even a hot bath, if you’d like (and the bath would have special perfumed oils he had sent from Paris because Laszlo is SUCH a self care whore, he’s got soaps and perfumes out the wazoo).

B = Body Part.

His favorite part of yours are your breasts. No questions, hands down. He likes using your breasts as a pillow at night— just settling himself between your legs and resting his head on your tits is a dream he indulges in frequently. He also really loves seeing you in the new French-style of dresses that have a lower neckline, and, if you wear one of those dresses to dinner without telling him beforehand, he’s as good as gone. He’s staring the whole time and can only manage simple sentences.

C = Cum.

I think Laszlo likes to cum inside you, but he also wouldn’t mind cumming on your tits. If you’re on your knees, sucking him off, he’ll pull himself out of your mouth and almost rip your blouse in his haste to set your tits free before his orgasm rips through him. He only chooses to cum inside you if he can’t cum on your tits (for example, if you’re having slow, kissy sex and he can’t bear to leave your wet heat).

D = Dirty Secret.

Laszlo. Loves. To. Be. Degraded. From a psychological standpoint, he understands that his desire to be brought down and ridiculed is born from some sort of childhood trauma that DEFINITELY involves his father, but he just can’t help himself from getting so ridiculously turned on when you call him a dog for humping your leg while you try to sleep. Bonus points if you use his title while you do it: “Just like a little bitch in heat, aren’t you, Doctor Kreizler? You’re so aroused, you can hardly handle yourself. Are you too dumb to touch your own cock? Do you need me to do it? Oh, Doctor, what a dumb little thing you are.”

E = Experience.

Even Daniel himself has said that Laszlo has like NO experience. Laszlo got ZERO bitches (which I find hard to believe but ok whatever you say, writers of The Alienist), so, the first time y’all have sex, he’s more likely than not losing his virginity (let’s not get into the debate of “virginity is a social construct” because a.) IT IS and b.) Laszlo would lecture for hours about this). HOWEVER, these things come naturally to him. He is just Good In Bed. He figures it out very quickly, so, while you make fun of him for going a little stupid when he’s aroused, he makes up for it by bruising your cervix and apologizing later.

F = Favourite Positions.

Laszlo loves that soft, slow, kissy sex, so he’s into whatever position makes it possible for him to be inside you and to kiss you at the same time. Missionary is a go to, but sometimes he’ll have you sit on his desk and kiss your neck as he hikes your skirts up and fucks you all slow and nice.

G = Goofy.

Hardly ever? Laszlo is pretty serious most of the time, and the only time we ever see him Not Serious in the show is when he’s wasted after John’s bachelor party in season 2. So, maybe y’all went to dinner at Delmonico’s, then a ball for members of high society, and he had a little too much champagne and schnapps. He’s not like giggling and all, but his cheeks are red and he’s smiling more than usual, and calling you sweet names “Oh, mein Kätzchen” and “Meine kleine Prinzessin”. That’s Laszlo’s version of goofy.

H = Hair.

OK, my train of thought here is: LOOK AT THIS MAN’S BEARD. HIS BEARD IS NICE AS SHIT. If he treats his facial hair that good— regular trims, the beard oils we all know he uses, even if it isn't strictly canon— then his downstairs hair is nice too. Definitely soft, if maybe a little wiry sometimes (but tbh whose isn’t), and it’s a nice little cropping at the base of his cock. He also has a thin happy trail up his soft tummy, and a good amount on his chest (as we see in the show lol that much is canon).

I = Intimacy.

Laszlo is ALL ABOUT intimacy. You’ll know he’s in a ~mood~ because you’ll ask what’s being served at Delmonico’s that night, and Laszlo is like “I thought we might stay in tonight. John gave me his grandmother’s recipe for chicken soup”. He’ll light candles and pour you wine and play nice music on his gramophone, and he’ll romance you throughout dinner with little hand touches and sly smiles, until he’s kneeling in front of you and slowly kissing up your leg.

J = Jack-Off.

Honestly, he hardly does it. Of course, I’m sure he did it A LOT before he met you, but now he doesn’t need to pleasure himself anymore. He’s got you to do that. The only exception is if he has to travel for work and you can’t go with him. Even then, he’ll hold off until he absolutely can’t stand it, and then he’ll like read a letter you sent him or look at a sketch that John did of you while he whacks off; sometimes, he’ll just hold your letter to his face, and the faint trace of your perfume is enough to do the job.

K = Kink.

He likes impact play a lot (and perhaps a little roleplay wrapped up in it). On the rare occasion that his fucking is anything but soft and lovely, he’s gonna be hitting your ass and the backs of your thighs as you cling to him while he rails you stupid. Laszlo would try to hit your cheek, but he feels too bad when you wince at the pain of it. Spanking your tits is good to him too. His favorite though (and here’s where the roleplay comes in), is caning your ass. He’ll bend you over the desk in his home office and pull your skirts up past your hips, and he’ll make you count the amount of times his thick wooden cane connects with your soft asscheeks. The roleplay is, more often than not, you were his assistant who did something wrong and needed to be punished. If you miss one or forget to thank him accordingly “Thank you, sir”, he’ll focus the next hit on your thighs.

L = Location.

Either the bed or his desk. Laszlo is a little older (I don’t think we ever get an explicit age? But if we say he’s the same age as Daniel, then he’s 40 to 42-ish) so he can’t do it against a wall or anywhere too crazy (not to mention his right arm can hardly support much weight, so if he needs to hold you up, it’s probably not gonna happen). The bed is a special time for you two because of his arm; he’ll hold himself up with his left arm and rest his hand on your hip or wherever to give himself at least a little leverage. But the desk is usually easier because you can sit, or you can bend over and he can grab your hip.

M = Motivation.

He loves you and wants to worship you. It’s truly as simple as that. He loves you and thinks that you’re the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen, and he wants to show his reverence for you by making love to you.

N = No.

He can’t get into the role of “daddy”, nor can he call you “mommy”. Childhood trauma aside, he will be goddamned if Sigmund fucking Freud is correct about his bullshit Oedipus complex or whatever, so he just eliminates that whole thing entirely.

O = Oral.

He’s very good at it. He’s just… His lips are soft and his beard is good, and he’s not afraid to get a little messy with it. He’ll eat you out until he absolutely has to come up for air, and he’ll have a little bit of your wetness clinging to his mustache, but then he’s right back in it. His medical degree is also put to good use here because he remembers his female anatomy and he’s locked onto your clit the entire time. The first time you ever squirted, it was because Laszlo was nipping at your clit and sucking your wet little hole and pressing his thick fingers into you, and it was A Lot To Process, but you squirted and Laszlo came in his pants instantly because he’s like “I didn’t think women could actually do that… I thought that was a thing that penny novels made up”

P = Pace.

Again, he’s a little older, so he doesn’t fuck like some wild boy. He takes his time with you, touching you and caressing you and kissing you, and his pace is the same way. He’s slow and gentle, but has the capacity to go faster and harder if you ask for it.

Q = Quickie.

Hates them. Never. Never ever ever. If he can’t properly romance you and take his time with you, then what’s the point??

R = Risk.

Surprisingly, Laszlo is a little schemer, and he loves running a risk. He’s already looked down upon by other society members, so what’s the harm in squeezing your ass at a party? PERHAPS it’s inappropriate to get caught in a dark corner with your hand down his trousers and him kissing your neck, but it’s easy to blame it on the alcohol.

S = Stamina.

Once more, he is firmly middle aged, so he can do one round— maybe two, if he’s feeling particularly frisky. Usually, though, one is more than enough for both of you.

T = Toy.

HAVE YALL SEEN SEX TOYS FROM THE 1890S?? SHITS ARE SCARY. Laszlo does not like toys, but he understands their need for existing, so he may not like them but he tolerates them. That being said, he likes to watch you use them. LIke, he’ll sit in a chair by the bed and request you “put on a good show”, and he’ll watch you fall apart, and he’ll only come and touch you if you beg and plead for him to.

U = Unfair.

Mhm, so, in Laszlo’s mind, sex and pleasure are not just a give and take, it’s a two way street. They can (and often need to) coexist. He doesn’t like to initiate something if you won’t be able to reciprocate, so he’s not too into teasing or things. At the aforementioned parties, he’ll only goose your ass if he knows you’re 100% down for it.

V = Volume.

He’s fairly quiet. His mouth is usually really close to your ear, and you’re the only one who gets to hear his pretty little noises. The loudest he’ll be is when he’s come home after traveling and it’s felt like ages since he’s made love to you, he’s gonna come inside you, and his little gasp and moan are louder than usual.

W = Wild Card.

He is down to be tied up. He doesn’t like to tie you up, but if he’s the one being restrained, he’s all over it. It’s nothing too intense, just using a ribbon for your hair to tie his left hand to the headboard, not super tight but enough to make his fingers a little tingly, but he loves it. He loves the switch of the dynamic, how he’s fully at your mercy and you can use him however you please; usually, you just suck him off and ride him, but the endless possibilities get him hard as soon as you pull out the ribbon.

X = X-Ray.

Laszlo has Big Dick Energy, so he has to have a big dick. The best example of this sort of energy is in the very first episode after he goes and interviews Wolf, and comes to speak to Teddy, and Teddy is like “you interviewed the suspect? On whose authority??” and laszlo is like “Mine” like OH HIS DICK IS BIG I KNOW IT. He’s got an above average length and girth, but we know our man likes to eat, so some of his weight goes to his dick, so it’s like,,, He’s got a fat cock, sorry, I don’t make the rules

Y = Yearning.

Constantly. Neverending. He’s at work and he’ll catch a glimpse of a pastel drawing that you commissioned from John for Laszlo’s birthday that sits in a frame on his desk, and his heart starts to hurt from missing you. When he comes home, he’ll embrace you and kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years, and he’ll want to hear all about your day. You have your doctor so whipped for you, and it’s a different kind of whipped than being pussy whipped. He’s, like, feelings whipped.

Z = ZZZ.

He’s a sleepy little baby after you guys finish. His eyes will be a little heavy and sticky as he’s cleaning up and caring for you (and you definitely coo at him “Oh, Las, you’re so sleepy!”) but when you’re both back in bed, our little man is circling his arm around your waist and nuzzling his cheek into your shoulder. He’s so soft and affectionate, and he’s out like a light when you kiss his forehead and tell him you love him.