#and then cas told dean something he never told anyone

[scoobydoodean]

A Fic About Dean's 45th Birthday

~3k words | slight angst with a happy ending

Dean never says anything about his birthday.

Sam has weird hang ups about holidays like Halloween and Christmas, and January 24th isn't just Dean's birthday—it was Jess's birthday too. So Dean's never made a fuss. He's asked for Christmas, but he's never asked to have his birthday celebrated. There are many years he can think of where he wouldn't have even wanted to celebrate his birthday anyway—where the idea of it would have felt hollow.

He's said before in front of Sam and Bobby, "I don't like being singled out at birthday parties, much less by God" and he figures maybe Sam has always remembered that, and probably told Cas too (if Cas ever asked).

Right. It all makes sense.

So he has no reason to expect Sam to realize that Dean actually wants to celebrate his birthday now—that he has wanted to for... the last three years, ever since Mrs. Butters insisted they throw a birthday party for Sam.

He can't stop thinking about Mrs. Butters saying they shouldn't celebrate Dean's birthday—or... rather, that she thought he wouldn't want to celebrate his birthday because he's old... and just... fuck that.

The truth is, the older Dean gets, the more his birthday feels... important. For one, he's officially spent more time not in Hell now than he spent in it. For another, 45 just feels... important somehow. It isn't 50—but it's another half a decade? He thought he'd be dead by now (well—he supposes he has been—but it hasn't stuck yet) and he doesn't know—it just feels like... like something to celebrate. He's 45 years old, and he isn't dead. He's alive, and he's happy, and things have been good lately.

He keeps thinking about it every year that passes better than the last. He keeps wondering every year. He keeps hoping every year—even though he knows it isn't rational when he hasn't said anything. He hasn't asked. He hasn't told anyone that anything's changed. He can't expect a birthday party if he doesn't communicate that he wants one. At the same time, asking for one feels weird. It feels... whiney. Nobody else is asking.

Dean's done birthday meals for Sam the past couple of years without Sam asking (stooped to making a caesar salad with grilled chicken for Sam's birthday last year with minimal grumbling) but it doesn't seem to make much of an impression. Sam is just... not much of a birthday guy. He's quiet, and to be honest, Dean's pretty sure he prefers celebrating with Eileen if he's going to do anything. She usually swings into town around Sam's birthday to take him out drinking. Well. He'll be celebrated whether he likes it or not—at least a little—at least with a meal.

Dean doesn't know when to celebrate Cas. He's asked before and Cas said something about being created before humans or their methods of marking the passage of time existed and... yeah, okay. Dean's favorite local diner sells good pie, and has a nice selection of milkshakes, including a PB&J flavored one. For the last few years, once a year, on September 18th, Dean tries to either take Cas out for one of those milkshakes, or pick one up for him. The date just feels right.

Dean puts the most effort in for Jack, with a full on cake ever since Mrs. Butters. Sometimes, he adds a bag full of Three Musketeers candy bars. Cas and Sam certainly don't raise a fuss. They all silently agree that the kid should get the birthday experience even if the rest of them are too old and jaded to care.

42, 43, 44... every time January 24th rolls around, it's always just like any other day. He thinks maybe when he turned 43, Sam might have wandered into The Dean Cave at night when Dean was watching a movie with Cas and sat for a while, then belatedly said, "Oh. Uh, happy birthday, man," while staring down at his cell phone. That was it.

Dean had brushed him off with a grunt—probably only reinforced for Sam and Cas both that Dean doesn't care just like they don't seem to care. So it isn't rational. It isn't fair. It isn't reasonable for Dean to get upset. But maybe it starts to sting a little, okay? And yeah that makes Dean feel a little embarrassed—sue him. He hasn't said anything... and he shouldn't. It's stupid. It doesn't matter. Mrs. Butters said he's too old for birthdays.

Still, despite his best efforts, Dean goes to bed on January 23rd 2024 wondering if someone will remember—if maybe, this time, they'll do something... because... he's 45. Something simple is all he imagines. They go out to eat, or... someone else makes breakfast (or tries). Sam give him a stupid gag gift. Cas picks up a pie.

As Dean falls asleep, he stupidly imagines the library decorated with a tiny "Happy Birthday" banner. He imagines a stack of pancakes for breakfast with a stupid candle in them. He imagines party hats and Rice Krispie treats. He imagines someone just... wishing him a happy birthday. Just... acknowledge it—that he's 45. That it's important.

Dean wanders into the library in the morning and it's empty and dark. He goes into the kitchen, and Sam is illuminated by his laptop screen. Dean flicks on the light and Sam barely flinches. "Hey," He says, keeping his gaze on his work... and that's it. That's how January 24th 2024 is going to be.

Dean shakes himself out of it—doesn't reply—just wanders over to the coffee pot to pour in grounds and get a drip brew going. Who knows if Sam has even slept—he's been deeply fixated on a cataloguing project for two weeks straight now. It's entirely possible he pulled an all-nighter. He might not even know what day it is anyway.

Dean opens the fridge and drags out the bacon. He considers toast too, but then decides that... well—he can celebrate his own birthday at least by making it special himself. He goes to the pantry and pulls out a boxed pancake mix he picked up who knows how long ago.

Just add milk and eggs.

Dean eyes the half-burnt-out pack of birthday candles in the junk drawer, stored there last May 18th. He closes the drawer, rolling his eyes at himself, and flips his pancakes as they start to bubble.

When breakfast is finished cooking (enough for Sam and Cas and Jack too, of course) Dean makes himself a plate and plops down across from Sam at the kitchen table.

"Big stack of pancakes," Sam murmurs—and Dean could swear there's a vaguely judgmental lilt to it.

Dean's eyes burn, which is stupid. He cuts through all five pancakes and shoves a huge bite in his mouth, staring at Sam across the table stonily as he chews.

Sam glances up and makes a bitch face, but doesn't say anything, returning his focus to his laptop

"What are you doing that's so damn interesting anyway?" Dean grumbles.

"Still cataloguing. Actually, Eileen is coming over to help me. We're gonna drag that last shelf of books into the library from the archive room and scan it all—finally have everything digitized."

Dean's heart sinks. It's gotta be at least 1,000 books.

Sam gets up from his chair. "I was gonna wheel everything in from down there and stack it on the tables before she gets here. You wanna help me?"

"Uhh..."

"Right," Sam scoffs lightly, making his way over to the coffee pot. "No problem."

"Look—I'm glad you enjoy that shit," Dean poorly pronounces through a mouthful of chewed food, stabbing another bite before he's finished this one. "Because someone has to—but moving and cataloguing books is the last thing I wanna do on my birthday."

It slips out without Dean really meaning for it to. He feels like the pancakes he's eaten are crowding his throat. He grabs his glass of water and swallows quickly, watching Sam over the rim of his glass.

"Oh," is all Sam says though—glancing at Dean, then his watch, before pouring his coffee into a mug. "Uh... happy birthday."

Dean looks down at his plate. "Thanks."

Sam clears his throat unusually loudly. "You know—I'm gonna be busy, but maybe... you ought to make a day of it," He suggests suddenly, leaning against the counter with his mug in a way that does not look comfortable or natural.

Dean immediately smells deceit, the hairs on the back of his neck rising. "What do you mean?"

Sam opens his mouth then closes it—shrugs. "You know—go out on the town... see if Cas or Jack wants to do something together. I mean—I can't go—can't back out on Eileen, but..." He interrupts himself with a sip of coffee.

Dean narrows his eyes. "Are you... trying to get me out of the bunker right now?"

"What? No!" Sam has always been terrible at lying to Dean—always seems too indignant. "I just—maybe you should celebrate. You're like, 46 or something, right?"

"45!" Dean's voice goes up a whole octave, suspicion momentarily forgotten.

"Whatever," Sam waves him off. "Go get a nice drink somewhere or go see a movie."

Dean glowers.

Sam stares back at him, before opening his mouth and looking up at the ceiling. "Okay, fine. Me and Eileen uh... need the library."

Dean cocks his head to the side a little, processing, before the realization hits. A big grin spreads over his face. "Sammy, you sly dog..." Dean chuckles. "I know what this is."

"Uh...?"

"Yeah you and Eileen are gonna catalogue some books, huh? Heheh..."

Sam scowls and rolls his eyes. "Gross, Dean."

Dean raises his hands in surrender. "Message received. I will uh... clear outta here..." Dean gets up, collecting his empty plate. "And... make myself scarce until say....?" He looks at Sam expectantly.

Sam looks at the floor, the wall, the ceiling—anywhere but Dean, before saying, "...6:30?"

"I'll make it 7:00!" Dean declares, setting his dishes in the sink then striding out.

Jack turns out eager to go do something in town, which bolsters Dean's spirits. When they go looking for Cas though, and find him brushing his teeth in the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, he says gruffly, "I have judo practice."

Cas has run through a stream of contact sports over the last three years, and so far, he's stuck with judo the longest. He's very good at it, and he takes it very seriously. It's kind of funny but also kinda... well—adorable at the same time.

"Why the fuck did you take a shower right before judo practice?"

Cas spits into the sink. "There is a man attending now whose gi is off white. Off white, Dean. Not because that is the color of the fabric, but because he never seems to bathe or wash his clothing."

Dean stares at him.

Cas shakes his head, seething at his own reflection in the mirror. "I know what he's doing... It's a strategy. He and I are enemies... and I will defeat him without stooping to his level."

"You are bathing before practice as a 'fuck you' to a smelly guy?" Dean clarifies. Suddenly Dean feels offended. "Wait a minute—how come this is the first time I'm hearing about this?"

"He's new," Cas grumbles. "He just moved here, and he smells, and he tries to tell the instructors they're doing things wrong. He's annoying and I hate him. Defeating him at this practice is very important, Dean. I'm sorry. Perhaps I could join you later."

"But it's Dean's birthday," Jack pipes up.

Dean looks at Jack, surprised, but also... touched.

Jack gives Cas a pleading look. Cas looks... put upon. He's giving Jack an almost... warning look, which is weird, but... bad day for Cas, maybe.

"No no—it's fine," Dean waves Cas off, and puts on an excited smile on for Jack. "You know what, Jack? All this means is that the two of us can go fishing."

"I hate fishing..." Cas grumbles.

"Exactly," Dean says. "So you won't miss out. Join us after your practice or whatever if you want. Sam wants the bunker to himself 'cause Eileen's coming over."

Cas tilts his head at him in confusion. "What? What does that have to do with anything?"

Dean gives him a look.

Cas stares back, then realization comes over his face. "...Oh," He says, glancing between Dean and Jack. "Uh... yes... so. Perhaps I'll join you after... fishing."

Jack seems eager to do a lot of activities. It makes Dean feel kind of good that Jack seems to appreciate birthdays, because Dean is the one who made sure they kept celebrating Jack's.

They pack sandwiches and eat them by the river while they fish, and then Jack says he wants to see a movie so they go to the theater, and even though it doesn't matter because it's all the same cash at the end of the day, Jack insists on buying the popcorn when Dean reaches for his wallet.

They still haven't heard from Cas by the time they get out of the movie. His practice should have ended hours ago.

"....What if we go see the world's largest ball of twine?" Jack asks. So okay. They do. Then after that, they go play mini-golf. Dean keeps checking his phone, hoping maybe Cas will call or text for their whereabouts and join them, but a message never comes.

Dean feels not only a little stung, but also kind of worried. He ends up texting Cas.

Dean: Just checking in.

Cas replies about 20 minutes later.

Cas: I apologize, Dean. Sam has roped me into actual research.

However much he doesn't want it to, it puts a damper on things—makes it hard for Dean to keep smiling. Sam just... didn't want he and Jack underfoot? Is that it? He thought they'd... get in the way? It kind of offends Dean. He and Jack are both perfectly competent at researching and Sam knows that. Dean just doesn't like this kind of project. At worst, he would have stayed out of the way—holed up in The Dean Cave or in his room to watch movies. If Sam's goal was getting them out of the bunker so they wouldn't bother him, it doesn't feel fair. It seems... mean.

Dean's throat feels tight. He puts his phone on silent before they get to the burger joint in the evening—tells himself he's jumping to conclusions—he isn't being fair.

At least... at least Jack is having a good time—smiling ear to ear. It's good to see him happy—especially after that upsetting stint as God. The responsibility of it... the weight... thinking about it had twisted Dean's stomach in knots some nights so bad he could hardly breathe, even if he never spoke to anyone about it.

Dean pulls into the garage right about 7PM, determined not to let any disappointment or hurt toward Sam or Cas show—reminding himself again that it's his own fault that they didn't know this day was important to him.

He decided on the drive home he'll say something about celebrating birthdays from now on... around late April, right before Sam's birthday so no one catches on that he's hurt. That'll... it'll make it easier to get it out anyway, Dean thinks—that this is something he wants—if it's first in the context of Sam's birthday instead of his own. He'll say he'd like to start making celebrating everyone's birthday a habit—say it's important to him. He'll ask, and plan a party for Sam, then they'll do one for Jack, then Cas... then, when Dean turns 46... maybe they can celebrate Dean's birthday all together then. Everyone being celebrated... it just feels right. It's something Dean just... wants.

He's also cooled off on Sam—convinced himself that Sam probably just didn't want Dean to feel obligated to help on his birthday while Sam was determined to be a bore—thought he'd have more fun getting out of the house. He just wishes Sam had the sense not to rope Cas in too.

Jack pushes open the stairs that lead down into the map room, and Dean nearly jumps out of his skin as he hears a very loud chorus of voices exclaiming, "SURPRISE!"

Jack grins widely then, and says, "Come on, Dean!" He races to the bottom of the stairs, motioning for Dean behind him.

Dean can hardly believe it when the library comes into view.

His family is there. Not just Sam and Cas, but Eileen, and Rowena, Donna, Jody, Garth and Bess and their boys, Claire and Patience and Alex. Some of them are wearing party hats, others just smiling. Donna scoops him into a hug first, then Jody.

Dean is overwhelmed by the attention as he trades hugs with so many of their friends. His eyes are drawn to actual decorations. There are streamers hang from the ceiling, attached to brown balloons. There's a banner attached to a wall that says "It Is Your Birthday!"

"Alright—so I left Cas in charge of the decorating while I went to get the cake," Sam admits as he walks up and places a cup of punch in Dean's hand.

"I already told you—the balloons are the color of Scooby Doo!" Cas scowls.

"Oh yeah? And why are they so under-filled?" Sam says back, but he's laughing.

"They're perfect, Cas," Dean chokes, looking at all the effort Cas put in—overwhelmed.

A cake in the shape of Scooby Doo's face is laid out on one of the tables, surrounded by paper party plates and napkins with The Scooby Gang on them. There are... there are actual wrapped presents sitting on the the table further back. Like... a lot of presents.

"You... you did all of this for me?" Dean asks, looking at Cas and Sam.

"We lied so we could stay here and prepare," Cas admits. "Jack was supposed to keep you out of the house while we worked."

Dean glances at Jack then, who beams.

"I'll be honest though. I really thought you had me figured out this morning in the kitchen, Dean," Sam shakes his head, grinning.

Dean's eyes well up with tears. "You're still a bad liar," He croaks.

He doesn't even know if it's him or someone else who starts it, but suddenly they're all in a group hug.

"Happy 45th birthday, Dean."

"You deserve it."

[nicksalchemy1]

Bleed To Love Her

Paring: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Hunting with Dean after Sam had been thrown in the cage with Lucifer and Micheal was doozy. Coming across a hunt that brings up a hunt that still haunts you; the one that caused your father’s death, you revisit the case with Dean.

You had been hunting with Dean for a few months now, ever since Sam was trapped in the cage with Lucifer and Michael. You were childhood friends, and you had a crush on him for as long as you could remember. But you never acted on it, because you knew was a womanizer. And then there was Lisa, the woman he had tried to settle down with during his year off from hunting. You knew he still loved her, even though he left her for your sake.

You were on a case in Colorado, tracking down a shapeshifter that had been killing people and taking their identities. You had a bad feeling about this one, because it reminded you of something that happened to you when you were a kid. Something you never told Dean, or anyone else.

"So, I found this case." you interject as he drove the Impala along the highway.

"What's the word on the street?" he said, glancing at you.

"Yeah, this, uh, case is different."

He frowned, and waited patiently till you spoke up.

"Okay? C’mon, spit it out."

You took a deep breath, and began to spill.

"When I was ten years old, my dad and I were hunting a shapeshifter. It was our first time dealing with one. We tracked it down to an abandoned warehouse, where it had a bunch of victims locked up in cages. We tried to free them, but the shifter ambushed us. It knocked me out, and dragged me to another room. When I woke up, I saw it standing over me. It had taken my dad's form. It smiled at me, and said 'I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I have to do this.' And then it stabbed him in the chest, right in front of me. I screamed, and it laughed. It said 'Don't worry, I'll make it quick for you too.' It raised the knife again, but I kicked it in the groin, and ran for the door. I managed to escape, but I never saw my dad again. He was dead, and I couldn't save him."

You paused, taking a shaky breath, feeling the old fear mingling with fresh determination.

"I think it's back, Dean. The monster we're hunting now, I see the patterns, the signs. It's him. It's the same one."

For a long moment, Dean didn't speak. Then, with a nod that was all business, he said, "Then this just got personal for both of us."

The plan was simple yet risky: you would act as bait to draw the creature out. Dean hated it, you could tell by the way his brow furrowed and his lips formed a thin line, but he knew as well as you did that it was the best shot you had.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid," Dean said as you wired yourself with hidden blades and a concealed microphone.

"I'm not the one who usually breaks that promise," you quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

He didn't smile.

The night was cold and unforgiving as you took your position in the abandoned warehouse where the creature had last been seen. The wait was excruciating, every shadow a potential threat, every sound a possible approach.

Then, it was there. The monster, a grotesque figure from nightmares past, stepped from the shadows. Your heart hammered in your chest, but you held your ground.

The creature lunged, and you fought with everything you had learned since that fateful night. It was stronger than you remembered, but so were you. Just as it seemed to gain the upper hand, you plunged a blade into its heart, sending it back to the hell it came from.

But victory came at a cost. You were injured, worse than you realized, and as Dean rushed to your side, his face a mask of fury and fear, you knew you were in for it.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Dean's voice was a low growl as he checked your wounds.

"I had to end it, Dean," you said, wincing in pain.

"That was reckless, and you could've—” He stopped abruptly, his eyes going wide with a realization. "Dammit, Lisa, I—"

The name hung between you, a ghost from his past that had no place in your present.

You injuries suddenly became meaningless. What remained was the pain of knowing that, in some part of his mind, you were replaceable.

All of your fears were confirmed. Were you ever truly seen, or were you just a placeholder, a shape to fill a void that Lisa had left open? Did your name ever rest as comfortably on his tongue as hers evidently still did?

"Dean," you started, a coldness settling in your chest. "My name is not Lisa."

The silence that followed was deafening. His eyes, now filled with regret, said everything his voice couldn’t seem to find the words for.

"I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"You think I can't handle myself? That I'm not strong enough?" Your voice rose, a mix of hurt and anger making your words sharp.

"That's not it," Dean said quickly, shaking his head. "It was a slip up, a mistake—“

“Saying her name or the fact that I believed that you liked me?” You accused, a bitter smile on your face.

The tension between you and Dean was palpable as you both returned to the motel room, the weight of his slip of the tongue hanging heavy in the air. You kept your distance, tending to your wounds in silence while Dean hovered awkwardly, unsure of what to say or do.

"You should get some rest," Dean finally said, after a long stretch of quiet that felt like an eternity.

"I'll rest when I'm dead," you replied sharply, avoiding his gaze. You could see out of the corner of your eye that he flinched at your tone, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care.

He sighed, running a hand down his face. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I messed up. I didn't mean to call you Lisa, it just... came out."

You scoffed, focusing on the sting of antiseptic on your skin rather than the sting of betrayal in your heart. "Sure, Dean. People always say the wrong name by accident when they're with someone else. Especially the name of someone they love."

Dean's face tightened, a mix of anger and hurt flashing in his eyes. "That's not fair," he said, his voice low.

"Fair?" you echoed, finally looking at him, letting him see the hurt in your eyes. "What about this is fair, Dean? I'm out here, risking my neck, hunting things that go bump in the night with you, making an effort for you, and you still see her when you look at me."

Dean took a step forward, as if to reach out to you, but then thought better of it. "I don't—"

"Don't," you interrupted, holding up a hand to stop him. "Just don't. We have work to do, and I can put aside my feelings to get it done. Can you?"

He nodded, though the gesture felt empty. "Fine."

[deanbrainrotwritings]

—  TO THE KEY OF EVERGREEN

SUMMARY : while dean dreams of things he’s too shy to share, the reader takes matters into her own hands when dean’s deep in sleep dreaming of something else. 

PAIRING : dean winchester x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : two nameless tentacle aliens

WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), fluff, angst, tentacle kink, p in v, unprotected sex, somnophilia, description of dpdr

WORD COUNT : 3.4k

A/N : the devil wears prada song title. @spnkinkevents : #12daysofspnkinkmas2023 — somnophilia. I’ve always wanted to write a tentacle fic for my favourite boy, dean winchester. reader pov then Dean’s dream pov switch by dividers. I swear more in my writing than I do irl, expect me to never curse irl honestly 😣😔

Dean was absolutely fucking adorable. 

He looked stunning, he always did, especially as he slept. 

Relaxed. Peaceful. Comfortable. Safe.

The moonlight poured into the cabin from the window, lightning up the breathtaking features of his face. Her most favourite parts of Dean’s body and face were illuminated by pale moonshine, enhancing his beauty. 

His plump, pink lips were parted slightly. Soft mumbles and quiet sighs fill the silence of the dark room as they slip from between slightly chapped lips. He snored occasionally, too—the cutest snores she’s ever heard. They made her laugh, but she pursed her lips to silence the sound, a loving smile remained on her face, her eyes tender as she beheld her sleeping lover. 

Although she couldn’t sleep, the sound vibrating through him had nothing to do with it. 

She knew he generally did not like to be stared at when he slept. To Dean, the worst was the thought of Chuck’s presence lingering and scrutinising. He wasn’t a threat anymore, but the thought that they’d lost haunted her—the possibility that everything was a dream. Unreality. The final torture. 

It couldn’t be. Cas was safe. Sam was safe. The whole world was safe. And now it’s just Dean and her waiting in a cosy cabin for the rest of their family and friends to get there when Christmas did, too. 

She wants him to be happy. He deserved that after everything that’s happened. She thinks he deserves it more than anyone else in the entire universe. Even if he’d sacrifice himself for the happiness of everyone else, she’d sacrifice everyone else for the happiness of a single man. 

She’d do it in half a heartbeat, even if that’s the last thing he’d ever ask of her. 

She had to admit it was strange to just stare at Dean as he lay unconscious in their bed, but she was bored and entirely in love with him. But mostly, she couldn’t sleep. 

She leaned over to press her lips against Dean’s forehead, placing a lingering kiss to the faint wrinkles she adored to cement herself to reality. She moved away to nuzzle her nose sweetly into his hairline, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, then she brushed her fingers against his stubble. The prickly hairs tickled, but it was nice to feel all those things, to see him in bed, breathing, sleeping. His warmth kept the cold at bay, even as he laid naked beneath two downy blankets.

Finally, they were free from the cold concrete walls of the Bunker. At least temporarily. A breath of fresh air somewhere new. Just the two of them. Close to Bobby’s old—now destroyed—place. Slowly weaning off the comfort of the Bunker as home to truly move forward, and hopefully to retire. 

Dean began to sleep deeply now. Knocked out cold by the effect of melatonin tea. He told her that he dreamt more and that it wasn’t nightmares anymore, not always. She didn’t know if he was lying to make her feel better and ease her disconcertment, but she didn’t push it. If he wanted her to help, he’d go to her and tell her when he feels ready.  

One part of her regrets not drinking the tea with him. But the other part of her knows it’s too frightening, the sensation of sedation, the feeling of unreality. It took her breath away, like being slammed into a wall, a sensation that made her want to scream, run, and cry. A feeling that almost confirmed that everything was in fact a dream. 

Instead of dwelling on her doubts, she waited for sleep to blanket her. 

Maybe watching Dean wouldn’t lull her to sleep. Maybe, but it didn’t stop her. 

His eyes moved beneath closed lids, his long, thick lashes rested against his freckled cheekbones, curled upwards with eyebags faintly defined beneath them. 

Where to begin? Honestly. The now relaxed space between his brows? 

The lovely crinkles that stretched beside his eyes even when he wasn’t smiling or laughing?  

The curve of his nose? The handsomeness of the shape despite the slight crookedness of it near the top? The slight upturn of it that most people would draw onto their faces to feign they had it?

The splash of freckles across his nose and cheeks like sprinkles on cake? The way they frosted over his forehead, down his neck, over every inch of his exquisite body like the whole universe when looking through the James Webb Telescope? 

Maybe the curve of his mouth? His pillowy, pink, slightly chapped kissable lips? The dip above his cupid’s bow? 

The patch of hair below his lip? The stubble that he was letting grow longer and longer? 

The line of his jawline? The little pillow of skin beneath?

The darker freckles that stood out?

Now that she’s taking him in. Why were his ears pretty, too? 

She wanted to kiss him so bad. To touch him. 

Her heartbeat began to elevate and her body became hot. She squeezed her hands together tightly to resist caressing him and turned onto her side, sliding her bare leg against his. If she could just pour herself over his entire body like warm caramel on his favourite pie, she’d be happy.

A moan rumbled deep through him and her brows flew up. She waited for more as he shoved the two blankets down to his hips, his fingers gripping the cowboy-themed blankets tightly. For a few moments, she held her breath, waiting for a nightmare to wake him while her blood turned cold, making her shiver. 

Instead, he turned silent and looked away from her, lifting his other arm over the pillow. 

She breathed out slowly and relaxed, dropping a soothing kiss on his bare shoulder. 

She bit her lip the longer she stared at his now exposed torso. He really hid all his sexiness beneath a million layers of jackets, Henleys, plaid, and flannel. It made her smile in amusement. He was way too pretty, way too hot, way, way too alluring.

He wasn’t very hairy and whatever hair he did have was too light. He had no chest hair. No happy trail… She never found that attractive anyway. Although, now that she thought about it, she wondered if she’d feel differently if he did have it… Probably not, it’s Dean. He even managed to change her mind about beards as he began growing his own in secret (a secret from Sam).

She envied his body. Who wouldn’t? He ate so much, it was adorable, but none of it showed. Maybe it was the combination of his metabolism and all the hunting. He’s definitely beefier than before. It might be ageing that changed his body from slim, model-like to this thick, lumberjack. Very sexy. Good job, body. Goddamn, he’s aged so damn fine. Whatever it was it kept him taut and toned, fit.

She licked her lips, staring from the tattoo beneath his collarbone to his hip bones, the dip of them on each side reminding her that he was completely naked beneath the fluffy covers. She felt guilty. Dean was usually the one who would touch her between her legs as she slept, or had his face buried between her legs to wake her with an orgasm, a few times he’s actually been fucking her. 

He’d smirk down at her when she woke up, kissing her passionately as she sobered from her sleepy state. She’d cling to him as he pounded her into the mattress, her orgasm came faster than she cared to admit. It’s never been off the table, but it’s usually him that proposes and suggests for her. 

Would he mind if it was the other way ‘round?

Dean ran through unfamiliar metal hallways.

Fucking hell. Was the hallway getting longer or was he running too damn slow? 

Dumbass nightmare logic didn’t stop Dean from running as fast as he could. He wasn’t tired, but slowly, as Dean realised he was only dreaming, he was able to get out of the hallway which then turned into a red console room.

Yup, he’s in a stupid dream. 

He grunted out in annoyance, looking around for something to use as a weapon.

A loud bang from the door he just came through—well, it wasn’t a door at first, but it is now—made Dean jump. He looked around the room and stepped towards the console as the lights stopped flashing red. He thought he could make sense of the made-up letters, but as the door was smashed in, Dean reached for a random baton with a lit edge at the tip of the colour violet.

Large, jet-black, shiny tentacles held the inside of the room from the doorway and Dean exhaled slowly, backing up slowly as the monster teased his entrance into Dean’s dream. As Dean hit the wall, he gasped when he started to fall through.

For a few moments, Dean waited for death and did what he thought was closing his eyes in his dreams, only to land gracefully on his two feet—painlessly. 

He relaxed as he looked around the white, padded room, seeing bright panels displaying images and videos he couldn’t quite comprehend. He stopped his analysis of the panels when he heard a familiar voice call his name. He turned to face the woman he loved most, coming from a stairway he never saw in the first place with one of those weird tentacle aliens behind her. 

Suddenly, he wasn’t inside the padded room, instead he was outside. The outside of a place that was definitely not Earth. The grass was still green, but there were a million colourful caterpillars beneath his feet and a cliffside beside him. The sky looked like the ocean, blue and green-like waves, misty clouds were violet, like the surface of Jupiter.

“Dean,” she called him again, but she was also the alien at the same time. It was too confusing, when she touched him, she was soft and human. And now, the spaceship he was in was long forgotten as she appeared to him naked. 

It happened too quickly, now he was on his back and she was kissing his neck and his chest. Her mouth sucked kisses into his skin, licking his nipples making him shudder. He could feel how hard he was, he knew her hand was wrapped around his cock, that he was naked, too. But the pleasure was too far away, faint like perfume on stored clothes.

Why did his wet dreams never allow him to feel full pleasure?

She wasn’t kissing the taut flesh between the v-shape pointing down to his cock, she had her lips wrapped around the tip, sucking wantonly, positioning herself so could take him deeper into her mouth, taking his cock down her throat. 

She pulled away from him abruptly and he watched her move away, as he sat up. Now, he was on top of the cliff and instead of caterpillars, there were colourful baby chickens that climbed into his lap. 

Why couldn’t he ever finish in his dream?

He groaned and whined out her name, but all of that was merely a distraction because he was on a ship again. A different one that looked like the TARDIS, but also, it wasn’t the TARDIS at all. Beaceuse where the console should be, there was a table, and she was splayed over it. 

Those black, glistening tentacles made a return and Dean cursed his stupid kink for making him both aroused and afraid. She was partially in the ‘arms’ of the alien, its tentacles slathered a clear substance over her body, hotly sucking red marks against her skin.

Her moans captivated him, the tentacles moved around her breasts, fondling, sucking. They moved all over her, teasing her weeping folds obscenely, parting her labia with the tips of two tentacles in exploration of her body. Then, one suction latched to her clit and she moaned his name, begging for him to join her and the curious, lewd alien. 

Dean whined quietly, stepping closer to the table as the second tentacle temptingly circled her entrance before plunging only the tip of the tentacle in and out teasingly. The wet sound drove him crazy. She reached behind her to ground herself using the alien, except Dean’s brain couldn’t complete its image so he didn’t really know what it actually looked like.

All he felt were tentacles move over him, too. Just like they did to her, they slathered him in something warm and sticky. They tried the same thing as they had with her, wrapping around his chest, sucking his nipples, wrapping around his throat to suck at his pulse in the exact same way she always did. 

When the slimy arms began to explore between his legs, Dean shut his thighs bashfully. But the alien pried them open again and he was being pushed forward towards his girlfriend as she got fucked by the other alien. The suctioning sensation as the tentacle curiously experimented with motions of up and down along his erect cock felt more real now. 

This is the weirdest foursome he’d ever been a part of. He can definitely say he’s never been fucked by unidentifiable aliens in his life, especially ones that didn’t have genitilia save for the phallic-like pitch-black arms that slithered into her and wrapped around his cock.

Could it be considered a foursome if the aliens weren’t getting any pleasure?

This was probably gonna be part of Dean’s top-ten favourite wet dreams. 

Dean woke up with a gasp, groaning softly as warm breath tickled his lips. He blinked to clear his bleary vision and moaned in annoyance as the bed beneath him moved. He tried to get a clear view of the disruptor of his most awesome dream and put his entire palm on the face of his girlfriend who was on top of him.

“Dean,” she laughed, moving his hand away to place it on her breast. He moaned softly again as he felt a familiar pressure between his legs, deep in his tummy the discomfort of an edged orgasm sobered him and squeezed her breast roughly. “What were you dreaming of?” She murmured seductively.

He was fully awake now, Dean blinked a few times and inhaled sharply when he saw his naked lover grinding her hips sensually in circles, her legs spread far apart, her strong thighs lifting her upwards just a few inches so he could see his wet cock disappear inside her.  

“Holy… fuck,” Dean drew out with a moan, clinging to her hips instantly. “I’m not gonna last,” he gasped, throwing his head back into the pillow. Nonetheless, Dean attempted to hold back. She knew he was as his fingers dug into the flesh of her hips, sending sparks of painful pleasure through her body.

“Oh, shit… Dean,” she moaned, her pussy tightening around him as he throbbed inside her. He growled softly, squirming. She refused to lift herself up any higher, but it felt good anyway, and she looked far better than she did in his dream.

With her back arched, her brows furrowed in concentration of her pleasure, and her lips parted to release quick, short breathes, and praises—occasionally, out tumbled a few teasing words. It just felt so good every time, the way he stretched her so deliciously, the way she got his cock to brush repeatedly over the same spot inside her, and how each roll of her hips made her clit brush and rub over his pubic bone. 

“Come, then, if you’re that fucking needy,” she teased, arching her back as she dug her fingernails into his chest. 

Dean bucked his hips upwards and clamped his hand around her hips so tightly she couldn’t move. A tingle moved up his spine and made him shiver. He wanted to hold back and wait for her, but she felt so hot and wet around him. His orgasm felt different than before, but still marvellous. While he spilled into her, she ground her hips down against him to stimulate her clit, bouncing again slightly when he loosened his grip on her to ride out his orgasm with a loud groan of her name. 

As she finally orgasmed, he began to whimper from oversensitivity, but let her use him as she finished, the walls of her vagina squeezing and pulsing around him. A breathless laugh tumbled from between her parted lips and she leaned forward to drop her forehead to his shoulder.

He pressed kisses along her hair, the soft strands tickling his nose as he nuzzled into the fruit-flower scent of her shampoo. His fingers slipped into her hair, tousling what was already messy to tug gently, bringing her swollen lips to his for a hungry and grateful kiss. She moaned against his mouth, both of their lips parting for their tongues to explore and lick, tasting each other once more—as if for the first time.

Saliva connected their lips when she pulled away with a smirk, his fingers carefully untangling from her hair. He panted and stared at her with his lips still parted, “what were you dreaming of?” She inquired once more, slowly lifting herself from his cock. His eyes flickered downward, watching his limp cock lean against her thigh before falling between his legs, coated in her cum, both creamy and clear. Droplets of his cum dribbled down her thighs like melting whipped him and he inhaled deeply, staring with wonder as more of their mixed cum slipped from her slippery folds.

“Hey, sexy, answer me,” she jabbed, dropping down next to him, letting herself bounce over the mattress before scooting into his opening arms. She kicked the covered upwards until she could reach with her hands and pulled it up their naked bodies.

“Uh,” he mumbled thoughtfully, laughing while wrapping his arm around her shoulders, bringing her close to kiss her temple. “Aliens, tentacles, a foursome,” he confessed, brushing his fingertips up and down her shoulder.

“Real hot,” she murmured, placing her hand over his chest where his heart was beating. “We should bond over your porn again,” she suggested sleepily, tangling her legs with his again. He laughed again, then brought his hand over to her breast to play with her nipple, rubbing, pinching, tugging her sensitive nub. 

“You got mad at me the first hundred times,” he reminded her, playfully squeezing her breast.

“Well,” she started, “that was then… and now, I think differently.” He hummed deeply, closing his eyes, then he sleepily turned to his side with her still in his arms. “Like… maybe… I won’t be jealous because those are fantasies. I know the women you go for in the real world have always been nothing like the unrealistic, skinny, big titty, models with photoshop, surgery, pink everything, an-”

“I mean… you have nice tits, a juicy ass, pretty pussy-”

“No,” she laughed, “you just like me alot.”

“I love you,” he whispered, shutting her up. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We can ‘bond’ over it for fun, but I haven't gotten off on any of it since I met you… well, I have, but only because I miss you, and I want to do it to you, or watch you do it to me-the point is… yeah, they’re fantasies. I don’t wanna indulge in it because I’ve got the real thing. Maybe I'll look something up for ideas, but not because I need something to get off.” 

“No, yeah, I know that,” she murmured, tucking her head under his chin. “That’s not what I meant,” she laughed softly. “I just want you to know that nothing you’re into will make me… less into you.” 

“Think I don’t know that already?” He asked with a grin. “You’ve been with me for years now. I know…” He paused, hesitating suddenly, insecurity gripping his heart. “I hope you won’t leave… all things considered, you’ve seen parts of me I never woulda shown anyone. Had you not been in my life all this time, I’d be single right now.”

She pulled her head out from where it was to look straight at him, then she laughed. “Tragic.” 

He laughed with her and kissed her quickly, his eyes crinkling lovingly as he gazed down at her to tell her: “I’d rather be single than with you.” He licked his bottom lip charmingly, tasting the words on his tongue as he sucked on his pillowy lips before slowly releasing it, leaving it wet, pinker, and more tender. “And, uh… do this more in the future...” 

She giggled and threw her arm around his shoulder to bring him in for a tender kiss.

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[narrynukezankielover]

I love this part in season 8 ep 19. Naomi acting like she’s a good angel and had nothing to do with the way Cas was acting and Dean not believing her at all. Dean saying you don’t think I know you’re the reason Cas was acting weird since he got out of purgatory and that you are the one that told Cas to kill me. Then telling her I don’t trust angels which means I don’t trust you. I’m going to guess that angels can sense love because Naomi said yet you didn’t ward the place against us. You’re hoping Cas will come back to you. If she was talking about Cas just coming back but not specifically to Dean she wouldn’t have added the to you part and Deans face here shows he thought he wasn’t being obvious. Naomi hasn’t met Dean before now so how else would she know Deans feelings for Cas.

This is just a cute moment. I believe it’s in ep 20. Charlie calling Cas dreamy. It’s times like this I wish they would show more scenes of characters just sitting down talking. Charlie hasn’t met Cas yet so how does she know he’s dreamy. I know she reads the Supernatural books but when she said it Dean didn’t look surprised. He hasn’t read the books and don’t know how Cas is written. Sounds like Dean might’ve told her about Cas. I would like to know how Dean would describe Cas looks.

This scene in ep 22 is freaking amazing. The eye f*cking is beyond amazing but I find it funny that Sam is sitting right next to them obviously feeling like he shouldn’t be there witnessing this moment and had to cough to get them to stop. Even in the next scene Sam tells Dean to give Cas a break because he’s one of the good guys (seems like Sam was looking for an excuse to get Dean alone to calm him down). Dean asks why he (himself) is treating Cas differently than he would other people. He said if it was anyone else (I believe he said literally anyone else) he would stab them in the neck so why should he let Cas off. Sam is just like it’s Cas. Seems like Dean don’t quite understand his feelings. He knows he has feelings for Cas but he probably never realized before that he treats Cas differently than he treats other people. I really like the whole Sam knows about Cas and Dean but instead of saying something he’s just letting them figure out their feelings. You can always see the awkwardness on Sams face that he knows he shouldn’t be there or shouldn’t be listening or watching but he has no choice. I find it really funny.

I find it cute that Cas wanted to make it up to Dean so not only did he go shopping but he made sure to get porn and beer for Dean and by the looks of it might’ve tried to hurt that guy to get Dean pie if the Metatron didn’t stop him.

In ep 23 there is another gay moment happening to Dean but what’s interesting is Dean looks surprised and Cas doesn’t. Dean doesn’t look surprised that the guys are gay but more that they are open about it. It looks like Dean is thinking you guys don’t care that people are seeing you flirting? Yet Cas doesn’t change his expression at all. He did say in an earlier ep when he thought he was god that he’s indifferent to sexuality. Maybe he (or all angels) don’t think about sexuality. You love who you love and that’s it.

I have to include this moment because it broke my heart. The poor boy was trying to fix everything and the Metatron f*cked him over. He took advantage of Cas and it ended with the angels falling. Cas looks like he wants to cry.

In season 9 ep 1 Ezekiel say some angels still believe in the mission which means we believe in Cas and you. I love the angels putting Cas and Dean together.

Dean aloud himself to get beat up just so the angels wouldn’t go looking for Cas even though he had no idea where Cas was.

Now i’m just going to fangirl. Holy hell. This scene is hotter then all the sex scenes combined on this show and yet this isn’t even a sexy scene. I need more shirtless Cas scenes.

[thegettingbyp2]

Can I ask for a Castiel request

Where Castiel has a family with YN, but the Winchester brothers didnt know that Castiel has a double life (1-helping the brothers hunt, 2- being a husband and a father). He decided to introduce his family to the brothers one day, (when I say family I’m talking big family, a family of 8 to 10 children and they’re all mamas boys).

Fluff and a bunch of more fluff

Idk😭If you have time please write this

Thank you

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It wasn’t that Castiel was ashamed of his want of a normal part of his life, as normal as an angel could get anyway, far from it. He loved having you and all of your boys, he just never told anyone about you because he was trying to protect you. He’d seem what Sam and Dean had gone through trying to protect you and he couldn’t even think of the idea that you could be put in danger like that.

The day that Sam and Dean actually met his family, it was a complete accident. The three of them had been in the bunker when Dean decided that he wanted to do a grocery run, dragging Castiel along with him. When Cas was shrugging his trench coat back on, something fell out of his pocket, making a loud clatter on the flaw, drawing the attention of the two brothers.

‘What the hell is this?’ Dean asked, a confused smile playing on his lips as he reached down and picked up the toy car that had fallen from Cas’ pocket. Cas recognised it immediately, the familiar red car that his eldest son always played with.

‘Looks like Cas likes to play with toys,’ Sam said, grinning from ear to ear.

‘It’s not mine,’ Cas replied, tucking the toy back into his pocket.

‘Then you’re going to have to explain why you have a kids toy hanging around in your pocket,’ Dean said, sitting back down.

Castiel paused for a moment, wondering whether or not to tell them about you, unable to think of any other reason he’d have for having a toy car in his pocket. Sighing, he sat back down and took the car out of his pocket, twiddling it in his hands. ‘It’s my sons,’ he said, softly smiling the way he always did when he thought about his family.

‘Your son?’ Dean repeated, raising an eyebrow before chuckling incredulously. ‘You don’t have a son, you’re - you’re Cas. He doesn’t have a son, right?’ he directed the last question at Sam who just shrugged in response.

‘I don’t have a son. I have 8,’ Cas replied matter of factly, making Dean choke on his drink.

‘You have eight sons?’ he asked and Cas nodded in confirmation. ‘Well, how come we’ve never heard of them before and you have sons with who?’

‘(Y/N),’ Cas said, a wistful smile appearing on his lips as he thought about you, his lovely wife.

‘So, here comes my question from earlier, how come we’ve never heard of them?’

Cas’ smile faded and he gave Dean a look that very clearly told him that he thought he was stupid. ‘You think I wanted to risk getting them hurt by bringing them here?’

‘Fair point,’ Dean said after a seconds pause, leaning back in his seat. ‘So, when are we going to meet them?’

‘Did you not hear what I just said?’

‘C’mon Cas! I want to see this clan you’ve been hiding!’

Cas stared at both brothers for a second before sighing and clicking his fingers. The moment Cas was greeted by the sight of your living room, he instantly felt himself relax. He could hear the sound of his children laughing out in the garden and he led Sam and Dean through the house until he found you, baking in the kitchen. You saw a movement out the corner of your eye and your head whipped around, your face breaking out into a giant grin as you saw Cas standing there.

Dropping the rolling pin you’d had in your hands, you rushed across the small kitchen and threw your arms around your husband before pulling back, pressing both of your hands to his cheeks and pressing a kiss to his lips. ‘You’re back!’ you exclaimed, giggling softly as you tried to wipe the flour off of his face. ‘How come you’re back already? Not that I’m complaining but you’re never this quick when you go off on a case.’

‘So, you tell her about us but not the other way round?’ Dean’s voice came from behind Cas and you peered behind him to see the two brothers standing awkwardly in the doorway of the kitchen.

‘You guys must be Sam and Dean!’ you unwrapped your arms from Cas and moved to hug them both. ‘Sit down and make yourself comfortable, I’ve got a fresh batch of cookies about to come out of the oven but you’ve got to be quick because as soon as the boys smell them, they’ll be gone.’

‘Where are the boys?’ Cas asked as Sam and Dean took a seat at the large dining table.

‘They’re all outside playing, hang on a second,’ you said, holding your finger up before walking over to the back door. ‘Boys! Look who’s home!’

Both Sam and Dean’s eyes widened when what seemed like a dozen young boys came running back into the house, their eyes all lighting up as they threw themselves at their dad. Castiel turned to face the brothers, wrapped up by all of his sons clinging to him like koalas. ‘Sam, Dean, meet my family.’

[t00muchheart]

As I do when I am hyperfixating on something, I have read a LOT of supernatural fanfiction in the last few months, and I get a lot of the titles I read from other peoples’ recommendations or collections on ao3, so I figured I’d share some of my favorites in case anyone else is looking for recs :)

AUs:

Spirit of the West by teen_dean

This is a shock to literally no one who follows me because I regularly bring it up, but it honestly is one of the best things I’ve ever read. The 90s horse girl AU of your dreams (or, if you haven’t dreamed of one, that you never knew you needed). The storytelling is immaculate, the symbolism rich, and it only improves on re-reading

And this, your living kiss by opal_bullets

Poet Dean AU featuring genuinely beautiful comments on language and writing and how we encounter stories and words and what they can do, and also some honestly incredible poetry

where there is darkness by quiettewandering

Lighthouse keepers AU! this one is a bit mysterious and I did scream into a pillow after finishing it. If you know the story of the Flannan Isles lighthouse keepers, it is loosely inspired by that.

Phantasma by thisisapaige

Messy Dean, my beloved. Messy, Stanford-Era Dean, my beloved. Dean breaks off from John and buys a haunted house, and things sort of escalate.

For All You Young Hockey Players Out There, Pay Attention by thursdaysfallenangel

I don’t even watch hockey, but this AU kind of made me want to start. Rivals to friends to lovers all while dealing with the homophobia in the NHL

time has come today series by teen_dean

Team Free Will brings in teen Dean Winchester to help with a case, parallel worlds come into play; every version of Dean Winchester falls in love with Castiel & all the good stuff like that

What Baking Can Do by cowlovely

Baker & Dad Dean fic and Doctor Cas? What more could you ask for?

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall

Food Critic Cas and Chef Dean meet in a truly unfortunate way. This is worth it for Cas’s reviews alone, but also the Dean-Gabriel dynamic

FROTUS by kathscradle

A President Cas, Restaurant Owner Dean romance that was honestly just a good time

Fix-Its:

take the bones, begin anew by JustStandingHere

This was one of the first fics I read and it is sort of peak disaster™ Dean Winchester. I love a good “I fixed up a house for you and didn’t realize it meant I was in love” fic and this one is iconic

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees) by sobsicles

I ugly cry every time I read this fic. It is a run of Cas and Dean’s relationship in seasons 13-15 and has Dean making a friend and it hurts but also it’s so good. Maybe my favorite Sam line of any fic comes from this fic ("If he thinks what you two do is friendship, then I must just be some guy he happens to speak to sometimes.”)

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles

Dean gets tattoos, and as he does, he tells the tattoo artist his life story. This is a post-15x19 fic told from an outside perspective and it is so well-done

Dumbassery, Denial, Doing by sobsicles

Listen tbh this list could be dominated by sobsicles and so I am showing restraint by only including three of their works. Their Dean characterization is everything to me and this fic really highlights Dean growing to understand himself better when given the freedom to

Revisions by bizarrestars

THEE what if Dean and Cas got together earlier and Chuck just wrote it out? fic.

a turn of the earth by microcomets

I love a work that explores pre-series Dean, and this one is great. Basically, think what-if later seasons Cas and pre-series Dean met (Strandlines by aeli_kindara is another good example of this premise, but in Strandlines, it is pre-series Cas as well as pre-series Dean).

psalm 40:2 by unicornpoe

On a similar note, psalm 40:2 is a great pre-series Dean, future-Cas fic. I am a bi Dean believer but this fic did sway me toward the gay Dean camp because it’s simply so good.

You Belong Among the Wildflowers by ImYourHoneyBee

Dean fixing his relationship with Jack? You got it. Dean trying to work through losing Cas? Yep. Dean getting Cas back by being stubborn? It’s there.

Who You Gonna Call? by saintedcastiel

Dean has a ghost following him around as he tries to start a life post-series, and for a while, he can’t figure out what’s happening. I love nothing more than Dean telling people he and Cas were married because he doesn’t know how else to explain and this fic delivers so hard

quilts by fleeceframe

A “Cas didn’t confess before getting taken to the Empty” fic. Soft things all around

Miscellaneous:

Fathers & Daughters by sinnabonka

On a different note, this is one of my favorite Claire fics. It looks at Claire’s relationship with Cas and the impossibility of it, and it’s so artfully done.

Bus Loop Madness by batz_in_blue

Literally just a “what if everyone lived, Jack was a toddler, and they all picked him up from school?” AU. I audibly laughed while reading this, and it’s an essential pick-me-up from the heavier fics.

More of my favorite sobsicles fics include: gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable), and he’s back (with a mind of his own), six hundred sundays (and many more), oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith, things happen (they do, they do, and they do), according to all known laws of life, and profoundly bonded (by law)

Also, honorable mentions to Ninety One Whiskey, which is such a good fic, and Make a Believer Outta Me, which is a Hocus Pocus AU that is honestly just a fun time.

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The One That Got Away - Chapter Five

Warnings: tw: child abuse, tw: physical abuse, tw: slut shaming, angst, language.

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Female Reader

A/N: There are TRIGGER WARNINGS in this part - please heed these, and if you think you’ll be affected by any of them, please do not read.

You can catch up here!

 My Masterlist AO3    Ko-Fi

“Dean,” Mary got up from the table and went to the fridge, opening its door and pulling out a beer bottle. “Have a seat, sweetie,” she said, pulling out a chair and putting the bottle on the wooden dining table.

“Thanks, Mom. So, what don’t I know?”

“Sounds like Y/N might be back in town, son,” John said. “We don’t know for sure yet, only Jess has seen her, but she’s a nurse, and if it is her, she’s going by Singer now,” John carefully eyed Dean. Seeing his son go through such a range of emotions was heartbreaking.

“Yeah, it’s her,” Dean whispered, wiping his hands down his face.

Clearing his throat, Dean downed half of his beer in one swallow. “Bobby told me after Thursday's shift before I went fishing with Benny and Cas. Danny’s not got long left. His liver and heart are going, and he’s in a hospice. So, Bobby called her and said it might be time to think about coming home.”

“I didn’t even think of making the connection to Bobby,” Jess said softly. “He’s her uncle?” she clarified, and Dean nodded.

“Her mom’s brother. Caroline died in a fire when Y/N was little. Then her dad turned to booze and beatings to cope with his grief,” he glanced at Jess, who had a horrified frown on her features.

“From what I saw today and how caring and kind she was to me, I’d never have guessed she went through something like that,” Jess commented, and Dean chuckled.

“That’s Y/N for you! Carries the whole damn world on her shoulders, and you’d never know it. She cares about those around her way more than she cares about herself. She always has,” he smiled.

“You guys were a thing back in the day?” Jess asked curiously, and Dean let out a soft laugh.

“Yeah, you could say that! Dad, Bobby, and Danny go way back, and Mom and Caroline became best friends, so Y/N and I grew up together. We were best friends before we became childhood sweethearts. She was my first everything, and I was hers.”

“They could’ve been married with a couple of kids and a dog by now if he’d asked her to stay,” Mary pointed out, and Dean shook his head in exasperation. “Did Bobby say if anyone came with her?” she continued, trying to find out if someone had followed her from her past life.

“No. No husband or boyfriend,” Dean smiled, knowing the real reason behind his mom’s question. “Bobby said she dated but never settled with anyone. Apparently, she was a love them and leave them, too!” he chuckled just a little bitterly.

“Cute little thing like her, bet she broke some hearts!” Mary grinned. “Now that she’s back, are you gonna finally tell me why you didn’t ask her to stay back then? You and I both know she would’ve if you’d asked her to,” she enquired gently.

“I wanted to. God, I wanted to so bad! But I couldn’t do that to her,” Dean rubbed a hand down his face. “You’re right, Ma. She’d have stayed if I asked her to, and she asked me to ask her. If I had, I’d have married her as soon as we were eighteen, got her out of that godforsaken house. Ain’t no doubt about it. But I couldn’t.” He stood from his seat and brought the whiskey out of the liquor cabinet with three glasses. Mary wasn’t a whiskey drinker, and Jess was pregnant, so John took one of them and Sam another.

“She took a damn beating every day for fifteen years, Ma, from the one person who was supposed to protect her. He was her only parent, and he beat her because she looked too much like her mom. Because she survived,” Dean fumed as he fought to keep the tears at bay.

“Her mom begged him to get her out of that house, and he punished her for it. She was only three years old! That’s her first memory, the fire and her mom screaming at her dad to make sure she got out. Did you know that?” It was a rhetorical question, but the hurt and shock were hard for everyone to hide.

“I don’t know if she still does, but before she left, that memory used to replay itself as a nightmare whenever she was scared or stressed. Y/N didn’t deserve any of it. She deserved a life without beatings and abuse, and hatred. And if going to Chicago instead of Lawrence, fuck, even Kansas City or Wichita gave her that, then who was I to stop her?

“If I’d asked her to stay, her life wouldn’t be any better because of it. Sure, I could’ve protected her from the beatings and got her away from him. But Jody would still call her whenever he got arrested. Y/N would still have to deal with his rage, and she’d still fall victim to his verbal assaults and vulgar degrading. I did the only thing I could to truly protect her and… I let her go.”

Mary rushed over to him and hugged him tightly, trying to ease the pain her eldest son still felt after all this time, and she knew then what she had to do. Mumbling that she’d be right back, she headed upstairs to her bedroom and opened the drawer on her bedside cabinet. She pulled the ageing envelope out, the word ‘Dean’ scrawled in blue ink in unmistakable handwriting and returned downstairs.

“Years ago, Y/N wrote me a letter,” Mary explained to Sam and Jess, as the others already knew about it. “She was in therapy, and her therapist thought it’d be a good idea to write letters to the people she cared about most, and she told me what happened. We all knew something was happening, but I had no idea the extent of it. The fractured skull when she was six? Choking her at seventeen because she missed curfew?” Mary shook her head in disgust. John wrapped his arms around Mary to stop himself from getting in his car and killing the sick bastard himself.

“Was it ever…?” Sam let his question hang in the air, not wanting or needing it to be said aloud.

“It fucking better not have been, or I’ll kill the bastard myself!” John fumed.

“No, thank God,” Dean answered. “Always physical and verbal. The fractured skull and when he choked her were the worst he’s done to her. There were countless other fractured and broken bones, though. He was smart, and that made me so fucking mad! He’d always play off the broken bones as just a kid being a kid, you know? He’d say she fell from the climbing frame in the park or got injured doing gymnastics or playing hockey or netball. She fractured her skull and had a severe concussion from falling down the stairs, not because he pushed her so hard she fell into a fucking hardwood coffee table. 

“The manipulative bastard hardly ever left a mark where anyone could see. She had a few black eyes and bruises on her arms throughout the years, and that was it, at least until he tried to strangle her. He damn near killed her that night. She was blacking in and out of consciousness and only got him off her by hitting him over the head with her mom’s crystal vase. She knocked him out cold!” he chuckled sadly. “All because she was helping me graduate. He thought she missed curfew because she was “whoring herself out” to me, but she was helping me study. I never forgave myself for that.”

“Don’t blame yourself, son. Y/N told me you knew everything and made her feel safe and loved. She told me you blamed yourself for what happened to her that night, but she knew it would have been something else if it wasn’t because she missed curfew. She never blamed you for it. For any of it,” Mary smiled sadly at Dean’s scoff of laughter. “And she apologised. For leaving you and breaking your heart,” Mary said, desperate to comfort him.

“I broke hers more when I didn’t ask her to stay,” Dean responded. “If I could go back, I’d…” he sniffed, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

“I know you were hurt when a letter never came for you. But one did, and it was in with mine. Y/N told me to give you this when the time was right and if it was in your best interests. I honestly didn’t know if I’d ever give it to you. If the time would ever be right, but that time is now. I’m not gonna apologise for keeping this from you,” Mary held her hand up to cut off his rebuttal. “If I’d given this to you all those years ago, you’d have run off after her, and I don’t think you’d like what you would’ve found,” she finished as she handed him the letter.

Dean sobbed as he recognised her handwriting and ran his fingers gently over the faded ink. Turning it over, he glanced up at his mom, a silent question hanging between them.

“I didn’t read it. It wasn’t my place to,” Mary raised her hand, wiped his wet cheeks, and gave him a gentle wink. Dean tore open the envelope without another second’s hesitation.

Next Chapter >>

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[deancasbigbang]

Title: First

Author: FriendofCarlotta

Artist: Eliza_Avalo

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean/Cas, past Dean/Layla, past Cas/Inias, background Sam/Eileen

Length: 26166

Warnings: Addiction (Alcohol/Pills), Therapy

Tags: Novelist Castiel, Mechanic Dean, Divorced Dean, Rabbit Dad Dean, Getting Together, First Date, First Time, Crowley Is a Rabbit

Posting Date: October 25, 2023

Summary: Romance novelist Castiel Novak is recovering from an addiction to painkillers, but he’s struggling to settle back into life post-rehab. His therapist suggests visiting a local farm where anyone can spend an hour or two in the calming company of rabbits. The farm’s owner, Dean, is himself a recovering alcoholic… and a huge fan of Castiel’s books.  A story of recovery, romance and rabbits, told in a series of firsts. 

Excerpt: The man is… well, if anyone had asked Castiel how he pictured the heroes of his novels, he would have described someone very much like him. Tall, with a strong but slim build, a well-formed jaw and lips made for smiles and kisses. But there are details here so intriguing that Castiel never could have dreamed them up: the slight bow of his legs. The lovely tilt of his smile. The freckles that cover his nose and cheeks and make him look impossibly boyish for a man so tall.  “Hey,” the man says, scratching at the back of his neck. “Sorry I wasn’t around earlier. Had… a thing. To do. But, um, welcome. Just wanted to see how you were settling in.” Hurriedly, he adds, “Oh, and I’m Dean. I own the place. Probably should’ve led with that.” It takes Castiel a moment to remember that a response is probably required of him. Somewhat belatedly, he says, “Hello, Dean. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Castiel.” “Oh… yeah. Yeah, I know,” Dean says, shifting on his feet. By this time, Crowley has hopped up to him, sniffing at the tips of Dean’s feet. Dean isn’t wearing shoes or socks, which of course isn’t unusual for someone moving about their own home. And Castiel has never had a particular attraction to feet before. Still, the sight of Dean’s toes, knobbly and vulnerable, makes him feel unaccountably shy. “Hey, buddy.” Dean crouches down and holds out his hand for the rabbit to sniff. “I probably smell like Cas, don’t I?” The second the words are out, Dean’s head shoots up, his cheeks suddenly a rather attractive shade of pink. “Sorry, I meant. One of the rabbits. His name is Cas… Casimir. No… relation. To you.”  He looks so frustrated with himself that Castiel finds himself chuckling. “It’s alright. Sam already told me there’s a rabbit here whose name shares a certain similarity with mine.” “Oh. Right. Just… didn’t want you to think I was some crazy fan, you know? Naming my pets after you. Though I am. A fan. Not crazy.” Dean takes a deep breath. “Fuck, I’m being a goddamn disaster about this. I’ll leave you be. Sam’ll be by to check in after your thirty minutes are up.” With that, Dean turns on his heel and makes for the door. Castiel isn’t sure what makes him do it, but there’s something about Dean’s company that’s intriguing, and Castiel has the strangest feeling that if he lets Dean go now, he might never see him again. So he says, in the split-second before Dean can open the door, “Actually, would you… keep me company, maybe?” 

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

[maywinchester]

You Think You Do

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: 911

Warnings: Based around the end of season 9, Sick reader, Dean's self pity, angst, fluff

Author's Note: Holy shit balls so I've never posted a fanfic before! I have written many in my brain for my own self-indulgence but I've never written any out much less posted anything other than sharing other's works. So with that I'll say sorry in advance if it sucks, all feedback is appreciated! I don't own any rights to Supernatural, so lets get started!! :D

It had been weeks since you felt like yourself, & it hadn’t gone unnoticed. Your headaches had become almost constant with short spells of relief in between & you felt like you had a weight inside your chest, making it hard to breathe & pulling your chest to the ground. Your other symptoms included fatigue (& the dark circles that came with it) irritability, general weakness & wheezing, especially when you slept. Things were only getting worse, which meant that the boys constant fussing over you was getting worse too.

Sam was logical; when you first started showing symptoms he suggested fluids & rest, he treated it like a cold, which is what you thought it was. Now that it was apparently more, he was hitting the medical books in the Men of Letters laboratory. 

Dean, however, had treated it like the Spanish Flu from the beginning &, now that it had turned out to be more serious, he was almost insufferable.

One thing had really peaked Dean’s interest though: Why wasn’t anyone else catching this? Dean had been right under you from the moment he noticed a change & before that he was constantly around you as well. The question only heightened his anxiety & so did Sam’s silence when Dean brought it to his attention.

“I don’t know man. Something’s not sittin’ right with me. Y/N never gets sick, ever.” 

His voice was extra gritty, lined with worry. It carried down the hall to you & Dean’s shared room where you laid, trying to fall asleep, & listened as your heart broke for him. You knew it was serious & it was probably too late for anything short of angelic. With Cas still MIA, things were starting to look bleak, but you still didn’t want to let in on just how bad you felt.

“I know” Sam sounded tired “We’ll find something Dean.” 

You heard Dean coming down the hall, dragging his feet as he walked. The guilt crept in, you could tell they were exhausted. You held your breath until you saw him in the doorway & gave him a faint smile, trying your hardest not to seem as weak as you felt. 

“D” your voice was barely a whisper, but he was close enough to hear as he sat beside you on the bed, brushing your hair back. You closed your eyes & hummed, taking in the feel of his rough but gentle hand as he rested it on your cheek & the smell of whiskey as his warm breath fanned over your face. 

“We’re trying to find something sweetheart” He had that look, the one for when hope was dwindling down & he was preparing himself for the worst but trying to put on a face for you. 

“I know.. I heard” You move over to make room for him & he lays down before you even have to ask, wrapping an arm around you & pulling you into his chest. 

“Are you okay?” He scoffs at that & you look up at him. Why are you asking if he’s okay when you so clearly are not? You see the battle in his eyes as he contemplates his answer.

“I wish it was me.” You take a deep breath & a moment to appreciate that he told you the truth, & to realize what that means to Dean Winchester. What you mean to him, & your heart breaks a little more. You wanted to tell him just how bad you felt, to lean on him the way you knew you could, but he was already feeling defeated & the last thing you wanted to do was confirm his fears.

“I know.. but then I’d be wishing it were me.” You give him a knowing look, you know he’d rather take the illness & whatever consequences than sit there & watch you deal with it.

“Let's be honest though, I handle these things better than you” You shoot him a playful smile that he tries to return. 

“You shouldn’t have to handle them at all Y/N. You don’t deserve this.”

“But you think you do.” It wasn't a question & he refused to meet your eyes, staring a hole in the door.

“I think we both deserve for Cas to show his ass & fix this.” Dean’s tone was harsh, probably more than he meant to be. His everyday frustrations were elevated by the Mark, but you’d learned to let it go, you knew he was doing his best.

“Maybe, but he has other people to look after now.” He looks at you then, wondering how you can be so understanding while being so miserable. You read him like a book.

“I know, I’m a saint.” you grin, the biggest you’ve had the energy for in days, & he returns it, genuinely this time. He holds your gaze for a moment before you look away, shy for no reason in particular, other than the green eyes staring back at you.

“You really are” you look back at him then, a questioning brow raised “You deal with my crap constantly, you take care of me & Sam. You’ve stuck by us even when everyone else left. You’ve been tortured for us, you’ve died for us.”

“Well, it was more for you, but yes” you laughed. “I love Sam, but some of those demons really do have a gift” He winced at the memory.

“I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get you better” He looked deep into your eyes, making sure you understood the seriousness of his promise.

“I know.. you always have.”

[totallynotaraccoonindiscuise]

hey guys do you wanna have a flash fic of dean doing the Gay Crisis Tango?

of course you do have some destiel highschool au where Dean sees Cas and cannot cope

Italicized stuff is flashbacks, sorry if theirs eyestrain!!

------------------------------------------------------

Dean sat on his bed, starting at a wall across from him. It was his first day of school in this new shitty town and he was already starting to hate it.

The teachers were annoying, the classes were hard, and he was learning things he wasn't ready to know about himself.

"And this is our new student Dane Winchester!"

"Its Dean." Dean corrected, not in the mood to deal with annoying teachers.

"Right, Dean. Sorry." The teacher corrected himself.

Dean grabbed his hair and let himself give into gravity, falling onto his bed in the motel room he'd be staying in with Sam for supposedly only two weeks, but he knows his dad isn't good about that stuff.

"Alrighty Dane, you'll be over there with Mr. Novak."

"Its Dean." He insisted as he walked over to the desk the teacher, whos name he hadn't bothered learning, had gestured to and sat down.

It wasn't their first time staying in a town so small that the middle, elementary, and high school were all in the same building, having to share desks and only moving from class to class maybe three times a day, one of those being to go to lunch, but, this was definitely the most interesting iteration.

He sat down and looked over at his new desk mate for hopefully only two weeks, and immediately took back that last notion.

The man next to him, Novak, was it? Was... hot. Beautiful in ways Dean hadn't seen in anyone before. Messy brown hair stuck up in every direction, a grim look to his already stubbled face. Bright blue eyes, so blue they pierced Deans heart, lay heavy-set into his skull. Chapped, large pink lips that made Deans mind wander.

Dean immediately looked away, his face growing red and his heart pounding.

'What the fuck?' Dean thought to himself.

'No, no no no no no no no. I am NOT gay. I like women! I've had girlfriends! I am NOT into a guy ive never talked to.'

Dean laid now, after a long, tiring day of seeing that handsome guy he now knew as Castiel roam from class to class and going across rooms and sitting and- Dean had been watching him all day.

Walking back to the motel from school Sam had brought up his staring, as he was now also in highschool and noticed his brothers odd behavior.

Dean new better than to push his brother away and decided to open up.

"I think I might be bi."

Dean had always been aware of being gay and bi and such but his dad had made him think that things like that were just as unnatural as the monsters he hunted.

Sam, of course, immediately told him he was cool with it and asked him why he'd decided to tell him now.

Dean had told him the truth.

And now he's here. Wondering what the fuck changed to make him suddenly bi.

He thought back all the way to his first memories, as far as he could go. In his digging, he remembered the fourth grade, where his dad told him liking men as a man was as wrong as sucking blood. Why had his dad said that?

Then, it clicked.

He'd told his dad he had a crush on a boy in his class. He remembered now. How his dad had freaked out and beat him. Kicked him out of the house for a night. He couldn't believe he could forget something like that.

"Uh, hi?" Dean had said to the man next to him.

"hello." Jesus, even his voice was hot. Rough and deep with a twinge of sincerity.

"Fuck."

[fellshish]

I love how Dean went from “Castiel???” And “I’m not gonna believe this thing is an angel of the lord just cause it says so” to “Cas told me that you’ve been doing something” and believing Cas about Sam, his own baby brother, lying to him in three meetings.

And how in ep 3 he looks to Cas so softly and brokenly after seeing his mom save his dad, leading to her own death. Like he’s met this guy only a few times and every time he’s been like “wtf is wrong with you??” But this one time he’s just so open to him.

Like he’d never let himself look like that at Sam. With Sam he needs to be strong and the big brother. But with this angel that he doesn’t know he lets himself be open and vulnerable.

And Cas is looking at him with so much sympathy and sorrow. He brought this soul back from hell, he has warned him of the seals and what is coming. But he sees him broken and doesn’t run away, he doesn’t hide away from seeing Dean broken.

I feel like this really sets the precedent for their relationship for the rest of the show. Like when Cas tells Dean that he might kill himself when he see what heaven became. They are both so open with each other, in a way they aren’t with anyone else.

Anyways this is just a really long way for to say that I’ve finally gotten to season four and I’m having lots of thoughts.

My dudes were down to fast for eachother.

This became a lot longer than I meant too, sorry

Welcome to season four, you are in for a RIDE <3

[profoundbondfanfic]

Do you have any fics that a very gender? Very confronts toxic masculinity in a moving way? Bonus points for 🏳️‍⚧️

I have to say it was a bit of a challenge to decode this ask so we've decided to do something general and hopefully some of these are what you were asking for. Here are some recs with fics that feature trans!characters in a meaningful way or focus on gender roles.

Fem in a Black Leather Jacket by bleuzombie [Mature, 5k words] #trans!dean

Dean has done the work to be comfortable with who himself but some reassurance from his boyfriend Castiel goes a long way as they head to a concert. Dean never dreamed he would be so lucky to find someone who could love him for all of him, panties and all.

love in the time of quarantine by sharkfish [Explicit, 6k words] #trans!castiel

Dean says, “We should have sex.” Cas chokes and looks up at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that.” “We should have sex,” Dean repeats, carefully enunciating each word. Cas keeps staring at him blankly. “It’s fun and you’re hot. Perfect quarantivity.”

Made Manifest by schmerzerling [Mature, 6k words] #trans!dean

Wherein Castiel defied God for Dean before Dean even knew his name.

Mira Mira by vipjuly [Teen, 22k words] #gender fluidity

Castiel is forced to retire from being the world's most prolific and successful hired gun. He gets dropped off at Winchester B&B with a vague notion to 'find himself', but he's having a hard time understanding first of all: what that means, and secondly: how to even do that. The proprietor of Winchester B&B, Dean, a retired ex Fed, seems to have some ideas of his own.

Novaks, Rebooted by violue [Explicit, 57k words] #trans!claire

A single father, his trans daughter, a whole new life in The Golden State.

Sometimes You Have to Lose to Win by zeppazariel [Explicit, 55k words] #trans!dean

The thing is, Dean is okay with being bisexual. He’s come to terms with it, ya know? He’s got eyes, and he can see that men are hot sometimes; whatever, not a big deal. He’s perfectly fine with it. In theory. Not so much in practice. Dudes are a no-no, outside of looking. He’s not budging on this one, so it’s with confidence that he announces, “There ain’t a guy in the world who’s going to change my mind, Sam.” “You’re tempting the universe to make fun of you again,” Sam sing-songs. “The universe doesn’t have shit to do with this,” Dean argues. Sam hums. “Whatever you say, man.” But, as it turns out, the universe has a lot to do with this, and it never really misses a chance to mock him, drag him down, kick him while he’s curled into a fetal position, then take him out back and shoot him while laughing cruelly at his misery. Meeting Cas is precisely what that feels like.

BONUS: a/b/o fics that focus on gender roles

Aromatic Adjectives Need Not Apply by JessJesstheBest [Teen, 4k words]

Castiel was an Alpha, despite what everyone always guessed upon meeting him. He was tall, and he had the stern and imposing profile, but, to most people, those Alpha traits were where it ended. He had a lithe, runner’s frame, with trim waist and thick thighs. “Child-bearing hips” he’d been told. Though, obviously, no children would be born of him. This scuffling man, though. He was... round. Potentially child-bearing. And Castiel was sure his true mate wasn’t either of the other two men. Or Castiel is an Alpha that doesn't believe in true mates but sniffs one out anyway.

Butch by tiamatv [Explicit, 54k words]

When the flower shop owner sweeps his fingers through his hair, he nearly knocks the flowers tucked behind his left ear off; he spends a fussy moment readjusting them with both hands. “I don’t need to be rescued. Especially not by a stranger.” Sheesh. Touchy. But since Dean would have flashed fangs if anyone had thought he couldn’t take care of his own damned self, he can’t be throwing any stones. He shrugs—big and exaggerated, both hands up. "Not sayin’ you did. Look, not your fault that God put alpha brains at the base of their dicks." The lowered blue eyes snap back to his. Flower Boy inhales with his lips parted, all pretense at not sniffing Dean out gone, and his eyes go wider. Dean might not dress or act or look like any kind of sweet little omega, but he knows just what he smells like: really fucking inviting.

Oddly Shaped Empty by jemariel [Explicit, 65k words]

Dean grew up thinking -- knowing -- he'd be an alpha. Until he failed to present. As a beta, he has no mating cycle, no noticeable pheromones, none of the physical markers that are so important in a world of alphas and omegas. He's out of place. How is he supposed to navigate his relationships and find love when he doesn't fit into the neatly-defined boxes he's used to? By the time he meets his new roommate, Castiel, he's more or less given up on finding a mate. He wears his secondary gender like a chip on his shoulder. But you never know what the future holds, who will come into your life, and how they might change it forever..... Queer themes, finding identity, reconciling the past, and a whole lot of smut.

[narrynukezankielover]

I’ve read a lot of posts of people saying that they don’t like at the end of season 7 Dean yelling at Cas. Personally I don’t like it but Dean needed to get it out of him. The guy went the whole season without anyone trying to talk to him about what was on his mind. When he finally was able to talk about it it just came out like that. Cas wasn’t in his right mind so he didn’t take it to heart but at least it got Dean to get over what had happened.

Then comes the cute stuff.

Every time before this when someone would say something like the angel that’s in love with you or whatever Dean would roll his eyes. This time Meg said he was your boyfriend first and there’s no eye rolling or denying it he just swallows.

Then there’s the two times people called Cas Deans angel. Sounds like they all think of Cas and Dean as boyfriends just no one says it. Dean even had a smile on his face when the vampire said it.

This scene is very sweet. Dean telling Cas if you were the last person I’ll take you cursed if not. Back in season 6 Cas secretary accused Dean of only calling Cas when he needed him. Dean obviously didn’t think that was true because he started to go nuts and Cas obviously didn’t like her saying that because he told her to go away but I think that idea was in both of their heads. When Dean thought Cas was dead and he clearly couldn’t handle Cas not being around I think he realized what Cas meant to him. Now Cas doesn’t want to fight because he’s afraid he’s going to make things worse so why would Dean need him but when Dean said if you were the last person I’ll take you cursed or not he was telling Cas he doesn’t care if he had powers or not he still wants him around and to help him fight.

This part makes me wonder what Cas says about Dean in heaven. All angels know Dean and Sam but Alfie let Sam pass him and went straight to Dean to ask about Cas. He didn’t know Cas and Dean were in purgatory so it’s not like he went to Dean because he was there with Cas. Clearly he knows how close they are by the sounds of it so do most angels. Then when Alfie said how some angels think that even though Cas did something insane his heart was in the right place and Dean asked what he thought. To me it sounds like Dean was trying to figure out if Alfie was a good angel or not. When Alfie said he thought Cas has too much of a heart Dean knew he was good. If he likes Cas he’s a good angel.

This hug just makes me smile. I’m very happy that Cas first single hug with Dean or Sam was with Dean.

I kind of wish the purgatory stuff were full episodes so we could see more of the place and more Cas but at the same time I like that it was done as flashbacks so random things made Dean think back to that place. It’s soooo sweet that Dean looked for a year for Cas when he could’ve went home at any point but he wouldn’t leave Cas and he prayed to him every night. Dean doesn’t pray to god but he will pray to Cas. He even told Cas I need you. That’s a big thing for Dean. Dean doesn’t tell anyone that he needs them so for him to say that was a big deal and Cas knew that.

I love when they protect each other. Cas had to leave Dean to protect him against the leviathans and Dean telling Cas to fly off when the leviathans were coming plus he kept defending Cas to Benny. You don’t say anything bad about Cas to Dean.

One thing that pisses me off is that Cas and Dean were gone for a year and Sam couldn’t take 2 seconds to go look for Dean. They disappeared in front of Sam so he didn’t know if they were dead or just down the street he had no idea. Dean gave up his soul so Sam could live and he looked for a year for Sam when he thought Sam was in hell but Dean went and Sam took that opportunity to give up being a hunter and ran away. He kept saying it was because he met Amelia but she wasn’t waiting for him outside the building which means he had time before he met her to look for Dean. I can completely see why Dean is pissed off. Sam never said he was sorry or that he did the wrong thing by not looking for Dean and not answering his phones. This could turn into a rant so I’m just going to say I completely agree with everything Dean said in that scene about Sam.

[thevioletcaptain]

So I was just sitting here head empty no thoughts while sketching art for Pinefest and listening to music, which meant that naturally all of the potential DeanCas thoughts floating around in the ether were like "that's free real estate!" and started clambering around in my brain.

And... now I think I've just managed to summarize my current main read of how and why late seasons Dean and Cas are so goddamn ridiculous about each other while being VERY MUTUALLY IN LOVE yet also both convinced that it's unrequited.

Had to note it all down before it disappeared, and it's not like groundbreaking stuff tbh, but I think this is the first time I've managed to put my thoughts about Their Whole Deal into coherent words. So. Here it is:

Dean knows he's in love with Cas and wants him in every way he can have him, BUT:

Dean also "knows" that can never be, because he "knows" that Cas isn't into men.

The reason Dean "knows" this is because if Cas was into men, then he'd obviously be into Dean.

This isn't Dean being vain!

It's just that Dean knows that Cas cares about him more than he cares about literally anyone else, because there's only so many times a guy can give Heaven the middle finger and die on your behalf before that becomes painfully clear.

But seeing as Cas has clearly placed Dean at the very top of his Important People Hierarchy but has not made any moves to show that he's interested in anything beyond friendship (because Dean has been looking! and he would definitely notice!) then Cas simply must be whatever passes for heterosexual for a cosmic beam of light stuffed down into the body of a 40-something suburban dad.

He did marry that Daphne woman after all, and he tried to go on a date with his boss Nora from the Gas 'N Sip, and that one time when Dean paid him a compliment when Cas was visiting him in his bedroom he immediately told Dean that he had "a female waiting in the car" and bailed, which is a pretty big and obvious stop light as far as Dean's concerned.

So Dean is just like, "Oh well, I guess I'd better make it obvious that I'm happy being bros so that Cas doesn't feel bad about it or think I'm being clingy and weird."

And he throws as many brothers and buddys into conversation as he possibly can.

Which Cas hears & is like, "Ah yes, this confirms my suspicion that despite longing for me constantly, Dean only loves & longs for me in a platonic and brotherly fashion, woe is me."

Or alternately, "Ah yes, this confirms my suspicion that despite loving me back and desiring me carnally as I desire him, Dean is uncomfortable with these feelings and does not wish to pursue them, woe is me."

So basically that's how we get both of them thinking they're being respectful of the other's "platonic" feelings while actually just emotionally destroying each other constantly.

And that's what you missed on Glee!

[bethesammytomydean]

How funny would it be if Cas and Eileen were in the bunker at the same time, both of them simping over a winchester brother, when in reality Sam and dean are dating

Like Eileen and Cas in the library gossiping about how much they want to date sam and dean and how long they have loved them for -- and then to Dean's room where the older winchester is fucking his little brother into the memory foam mattress

"I think eyes are windows to the soul."

Cas blinked, then frowned. "That is untrue. Eyes are not meant for that."

Eileen chuckled, looking at the angel in front of her. "I know, but it's a thing we humans say. And I think that I can see part of Sam's soul in them, he's got the kindest eyes."

Silence followed for a few moments before Cas spoke up again. "I can see Dean's soul." Eileen looked at him curiously and Cas felt the cheeks of his vessel heat up. Was he getting ill? That was impossible, was it not? "Anyone's soul, truly. But Dean has a very... bright soul."

"Does he?"

Cas nodded. "Sam does, too. But..." He trailed off, not sure what he wanted to say.

"Dean's is brighter to you?"

"I suppose."

"Or more beautiful?"

"Souls are complex, most of them I find beautiful," Cas pointed out. "That is what makes them so very interesting."

Eileen raised a single brow, staying silent. Cas stared right back at her, not sure why their conversation had suddenly ended.

"I suppose this is the part where I am meant to say something after I realised whatever it is I have to realise?"

"Yep," Eileen chuckled, nodding her head. "You're supposed to realise that you find Dean's soul more beautiful than others, because you're in love with him."

Cas frowned deeply. "I am an angel, I don't feel emotions the same humans do."

"Not the same, no. But you can still fall in love?"

The angel was actually not sure about it. No one had ever told him angels couldn't fall in love. Perhaps they could, but differently than humans? He did find Dean rather pleasing to look at. "I suppose we can."

Silence fell again for a few moments before Cas continued to wonder out loud.

"What does it feel like?"

"To be in love?"

"Yes. What does it feel like for you to look at Sam?"

"So you think I'm in love with Sam?"

"Are you not?"

Eileen just smiled, almost secretive, before she answered Cas' earlier question. "For me it feels warm. Whenever I see him I feel happy, he brings me comfort and makes me feel like I'm right at home."

"Which you are not."

"Blunt. But you're right, I'm not. However, that is what Sam makes me feel like. That's just what being in love does for me."

Cas nodded slowly, thinking of Dean. Whenever he was around the man he did feel warm. And comfortable. And happy. It was almost as Eileen described it.

"I feel at home with Dean."

"Yeah?"

"He is very... aesthetically pleasing."

Eileen laughed. "I'm sure he'd think that's a nice compliment, Cas."

"He has nice eyes too."

"Not as pretty as Sam's though."

"A matter of preference. Yours does not have freckles."

"I guess not. And yours doesn't have dimples."

Cas shook his head. "No, he does not. But he is perfect."

Eileen gave a soft smile, nodding her head. "Yeah, he's perfect." Silence once more. "I wonder what they're doing? They're taking a long time getting ready today, aren't they?"

Cas shrugged. "Humans take a very long time. I have no doubt they are doing something important."

---***---

Dean grunted as he pushed harder, deeper, faster into Sam. The heat around his cock was overwhelming, just as it always was. Sam never did disappoint in tightness.

"Fuck," Sam moaned out, throwing his head back against the pillows. They were on Sam's bed- Dean had taken to sleeping there when they weren't sleeping together in Dean's room. Why not sleep together? Usually they ended the day fucking and started it the same, so it only made sense to sleep in the same bed. Saved them a lot of trouble moving around all the time too. "Fuck, Dee."

"So good, Sammy." Dean groaned, one hand on Sam's hip and the other one bracing himself on the headboard. "So tight."

Sam whined, pushing himself back onto Dean's cock. He looked like a mess. His chest was covered in marks from Dean's lips and teeth, his hair was sticking in all directions and sweat covered his skin. He looked beautiful.

"Dee, ah, so good!"

Dean grunted in reply, fucking Sam harder, biting down on Sam's shoulder as he came, filling his brother with his cum again. Claiming him as his'. Between their bodies he could feel Sam's cum spilling, soaking them, connecting them.

Teeth let go of bruised skin, lips finding lips.

"I love you." Dean whispered to his soulmate.

Sam smiled, tired, content. Happy. "I love you."

[douwatahima]

idk i'm feeling kinda riled up today and i want to talk about why the fight for ofmd is so important to me.

so listen. i've been in fandoms for a loooooong time. i remember when the sheer idea of a show (that wasn't something like, say, queer as folk) having any sort of lgbt representation was a major rarity. the idea of a random character suddenly coming out in your favourite sci fi/fantasy/action show? no way in hell. and those of us in fandom kinda came to accept that. we were queering the hell out of everything we came across, don't get me wrong, but it was because the idea of a series suddenly having a character textually be queer was just…not a thing that happened most of the time.

then came the age of queerbaiting. as someone who was in the supernatural fandom from very early on, i remember how those first few seasons of the ~great destiel saga~ felt to watch. they actively hinted at and joked about their relationship! they acknowledged the elephant in the room! surely they wouldn't do that unless it meant something!!! but then of course came the years and years of the cast and crew sneering at the people who had the audacity to…listen to the words that came out of the character's mouths and have thoughts about them. and yeah, eventually (like a decade later) cas told dean he loved him, but even now the people who worked on the show seem reluctant to say that that was a romantic moment. and that's just one example that i'm more intimately familiar with! there are so many others! just straight up gaslighting queer fans so they can keep making money off of us with no intention of actually giving us what we want; all while acting like they were doing us a favour by doing anything at all.

and it sucked! it clearly sucked! but the more time went on the less surprising it became. because at the end of the day it came down to what it always comes down to; money. there's this idea (not just in media) that there are certain people who are the "default". people whose experiences are universal and easy to understand. white people. straight people. cis people. when it comes to media, stories about these people are seen as something anyone can watch and understand. but when you try to tell stories about people who fall outside of these categories? well, now you're making niche content that only people who fall into that niche will be able to identify with.

and look, i know i'm preaching to the choir here. this is tumblr. we all know there's a lot of racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia in the world. my point is that the narrative around queerbaiting from an industry standpoint seemed to be "yeah, we want the ad revenue from all of these lgbt people watching our shows, but if we commit to actually making any of our characters queer we're going to isolate our straight audience and lose most of our viewers". and there was never any concrete way to disprove that. so yeah. we would occasionally be blessed by a ~very special show~ that actually depicted queerness (usually about younger people coming out, or about the tragedies that can and have faced people in our community), but the idea of branching out beyond that seemed like a no go.

and then along came our flag means death. a show about pirates that also talked about toxic masculinity and had characters who were casually queer in every different variety and also featured people with different body types who came from different cultures and who were all treated with kindness and grace. a show that didn't necessarily market itself specifically as ~a queer show~ (which, was probably in part due to trying to bury the lead which sucks, but the point still stands) but rather a fun show anyone could watch. that wasn't specifically about coming out or tragedy but was more so about joy, and community, and love. and here's the thing. here's the wild as fuck thing that happened. this show? it didn't lose all of its viewers when those last two episodes of season 1 aired and it confirmed without a shadow of a doubt that ed and stede were in love. the opposite happened. this show fucking soared into the stratosphere.

i remember the first time i saw those parrot analytics charts showing that ofmd was the most in demand new series; out performing marvel even. i was so overcome i legit broke down in tears. because it turns out all of those times i had been told to sit back and accept the scraps i was given because that was all my community was profitable enough to get, those people were wrong. we could've had this the whole time! WE COULD'VE HAD THIS THE WHOLE TIME!!! and as the weeks progressed and ofmd remained at the top of every chart, as the show continued to succeed, i felt such an immense amount of joy! those people were wrong! we can just have this and it'll do well!!!

and yeah, apparently that wasn't enough to convince the powers that be. they spent forever deciding whether to renew it and when they finally did the budget was cut nearly in half and the people at max decided they needed to oversee the show a lot more. all of this sucks. but the thing is they made season 2 and they fucking did it again! the show got even better critics scores than last time! the show was doing numbers better than season 3 of succession! the merch, only released in october, became some of the best selling merch of 2023 on the max shop! by max's own admission season 2 was one of the biggest hits of the year for them!!! like, what more is there? the show is a success!!!

so yeah. i'm not going to accept the fucking stupid excuses max gives as to why they cancelled it. saying that it didn't have the numbers (it did), or that they didn't know how to market violence (they do), or that it didn't have awards buzz (it has literally been nominated for awards and there's still active fyc ads the company itself made) just doesn't cut it. there was no reason to cancel it other than the idea that diverse media "doesn't sell". and max, by airing this show you have shown me that that fucking isn't true. it's never been true. so i'm going to keep fighting for this one until someone picks it up or until i'm old and grey because it isn't just about ofmd. it's about the belief that our stories, the stories of people who aren't "the default" are worth telling. by every metric they are worth telling. and that is something that i know is worth fighting for.