#and then i know it's stupid but sometimes i wonder if my English is good enough

[dualisume]

.

[stevebabey]

this is pure stupid hell crack that took more time than it should’ve to finish BUT i’m ready 2 release it from my drafts <3 this is actually technically written partially w @corrodedcoughin in mind bcos i think u will mighty enjoy it! for cockney eddie!

It comes with the territory, the accents.

Drama kid or dungeon-master, either one could be credited with contributing heavily to his affinity for all of Eddie’s little voices.

There was the deep, low raspy one reserved for trolls in campaigns — and a nasally high one he used for goblins to pair. Wise wizards giving out crucial advice sometimes had a strong Scottish drawl to their words. And Dwarfs? Always English.

So, yeah, Eddie has a couple different accents in his different repertoire. Pulls them out as he needs — a regal tone when referring to Hawkin’s very own royalty or a buried Southern twang used when he’s in trouble with Wayne. The most common is a shoddy Cockney accent for when any conversation dips too far towards awkward or boring.

It's why it's not so surprising anymore when they just... slip out sometimes.

He's learned more now, when specifically not to do it (Mrs. Donnell had not found his plea for a re-sit, in a heavy Irish accent, endearing in the slightest). But with friends who know Eddie, they know the accents come along too.

Steve fucking loves them.

The first time one had taken over his voice, some New Yorker twang to carry a joke, Steve had laughed so hard he’d snorted. And god, had Eddie lit up at the noise— loved knowing that, deep down Steve Harrington had a delicious wonderful ugly laugh that he only showed to people he trusted.

Basically, it’s hardly news to Steve then, all of Eddie’s little voices.

But well, even Eddie didn’t expect… okay, the truth is he never expected to be in this situation at all.

It’s a Wednesday evening when it happens. Steve is over round the trailer like he is every Wednesday, keeping Eddie company while Wayne is out on the double night shift.

It originally had started out as ensuring wounds were checked and dressed properly — considering half of them had scaled up his back, where Eddie couldn’t reach — for the both of them. Then, when technically Eddie could manage the worst of his words, Steve was still coming around. Dustin’s insistence, he’d said.

Then it was… because Eddie asked Steve to come around, to stay a little longer.

So, Steve Harrington is in his kitchen and it’s a Wednesday ritual that they have together and that’s not even the weird part of the evening.

(And somehow, neither is the fact that Steve is, as of a few months ago, his boyfriend.)

Steve’s cooking. Something simmers low on the scarlet glowing hob, bubbling quietly and releasing aromas of spices that percolate into the Autumn evening air.

Eddie feels his stomach growl in its own twist of hunger as he follows his nose. With one hand still scrubbing a towel against his wet hair, he ambles down the hall, fresh out the shower, ready for love — be it the form of food or, he thinks giddily, kisses.

Steve’s not watching the food as Eddie enters, his eyes fixed somewhere across the room. There’s a crease between his eyebrows, an indication of his deep thought.

Eddie grins, approaching without any attempt of being sneaky, (Steve’s as good as comatose when he’s distracted as he’d found) and jabs his boyfriend’s calf with his toe.

“Thinking mighty hard there, Stevie. That’s dangerous.”

Steve jolts, snapping out of his thoughts. He straightens up automatically, then seems to recall the company he’s keeping, and relaxes back down.

He scowls affectionately at Eddie’s barefoot, still jabbing into his leg, and reaches out to flick it with his finger.

“Dickhead.”

Eddie’s faster. He dances away and laughs at the instinctual pout that forms on Steve’s lips.

“What ponders thy mind, hm?” Eddie drawls, a lilt of a Regency style accent in his voice. He sinks into one of the kitchen chairs and drops his task. The towel hangs over his neck, his damp curls resting against it.

Steve seems to jolt again at that, his shoulders rising for a moment. He spins, picking up the wooden spoon beside the stove to swirl the contents of their dinner around. Eddie admires him, broad shoulders and long back, ripe for his taking. Silently, he sighs dreamily on the inside.

“Just… what movie we’re gonna watch tonight.” Steve says unconvincingly. “I’m not doing another re-watch of the Fly.” He adds lamely, an attempt at his usual bitch.

Eddie lets him have it. With one final squeeze of the towel, trying to wring out all the droplets in his hair, Eddie abandons it on the chair as he stands. He waltzes forward, into Steve’s space, and hooks his chin over the other's shoulder.

“You know, that’s what you said last time.”

Steve side-eyes him, his eyes narrowing into a minuscule glare; bitch personified. Eddie grins. Then bats his eyelashes.

It makes Steve laugh, shrugging Eddie’s weight off politely as he gives their dinner another stir. There’s still this tenseness to his frame. Though, maybe it's one Eddie can only notice because he’s paying such close attention.

“Alrightttttt,” He pretends to relent dramatically, his hands coming up to give Steve’s shoulders a quick squeeze. “I’ll let you pick the movie tonight.”

He drops his hands back to his sides, smarmy grin already plastered on as Steve turns to face him, the wooden spoon placed down on the bench.

“Oh, you’ll let me, will you?” He gives this incredulous look, even if there is this playfulness toying at the corners at his lips.

“Uh huh,” Eddie affirms with a severe nod, then begins counting on his fingers as he lists off. “No badgering, wailing, complaining, of any sorts I—“

Suddenly, Steve’s reaching out, his deft hands reaching out to snag the waistband of Eddie’s pyjama pants. It supposed to be a smooth move he’s used countless times before; fingers looped through belt loops to pull a girl in for a kiss. It usually works like a charm.

Except, there’s no belt loops— and when Steve tucks his fingers beneath the waistband and tugs him forward, Eddie shrieks.

“Fucking christ, Steve!” He bats Steve’s hands back without thinking. Steve holds them up defensively.

“Sorry! I was just—”

“What are you doing sticking your hands in my pants?!”

“It was a move!” Steve insists, voice a little whiney. “God, you’re dramatic- I was trying to pull you closer, numb-nuts.”

“Oooh,” Eddie switches up in an instant, hands shooting out to grab Steve’s own. He pulls them forward and settles them on his own waist, shuffling in closer like he hadn’t just shrieked a minute earlier. “Continue.”

Steve chuckles, delight peeking through on his face. His hands, large and slender, curl around the skin of Eddie’s waist and Christ, he’s still not used to that. Eddie’s too focused on repressing his shiver to see the shadow of nervousness cross Steve’s face.

“I was actually thinkin’ about,” Steve starts lowly, eyes skirting off Eddie’s face, over his shoulder. His fingers tighten their grip. “How—”

He sucks in a breath, like drawing in courage, and meets Eddie’s gaze. “About how much I love you.”

There’s the smallest tremble to his voice, giving away the immense emotion behind the words.

And here’s the situation that Eddie never expected to be in, ever. His breath catches, his eyes widen — his heartstrings tangle and knot themselves as he soaks in Steve’s admittance. Love, love, love — he loves me.

His lips part, a raspy noise escaping as he tries to compute, tries to think of anything to say because the longer he stays silent, the more crushed Steve’s expression becomes. And then—

“Well, I luv ya too.”

The words fall out, thick in that godawful Cockney accent.

Steve's face doesn't change but Eddie's does, contorting in an amalgamation of pure cringe and panic as embarrassment crawls beneath his skin. He slaps his hand over his own mouth as if it can take back his awful reply to being told he's loved by Steve.

"I—" He starts, speaking through his fingers, except it still comes out in a funny accent. Eddie squeaks, his grip over his mouth tightening, brown eyes wide in his panic. Oh God, never in stupid silly life has his accents come back to bite him in the ass so magnificently.

"I'm so sorry," Eddie whispers-yells in his regular voice, finally dragging his hands off his face sluggishly. "Jesus H Christ, I didn't— that wasn't making fun of you, I— oh god, you know that happens when I'm nervous sometimes. Shit. Shit, I'm so sorry, Steve."

Steve hasn't moved, his hands still resting on the small of Eddie's waist. His expression is guarded, nothing betrayed. His dark eyes scan across Eddie's face and just before he speaks, the smallest glimmer of amusement glitters across his face.

"Well," Steve begins, heaving a faux large sigh. His hands squeeze comfortingly at Eddie's waist again. Eddie who is still frozen, still cursing himself internally, still echoing around the apparently true fact that Steve loves him— well, maybe not anymore with how awfully Eddie responded.

And then Steve opens his mouth and the most appalling attempt at some accent comes out. It makes his words all garbled and Steve's pink in the face, obviously embarrassed but trying to commit to some shoddy Scottish when he says, "Aye, that's al'right."

Eddie stares at him. Steve stares back.

The moment of silence is broken as laughter seizes him, a guffaw bursting from his lips and holy fuck, Eddie loves him so much. Steve laughs too, the two of them relaxing and sinking into one another. Eddie's hands, previously fluttering and unsure, find their natural place curled in underneath Steve's jaw and when he leans in, he's fighting off his laughter. His grin is unbearably wide, cheeks aching.

Steve's got this shine in his eye, his hands sliding further around to pull Eddie in closer, his pink lips quirked in delight. Eddie practically purrs, so close to kissing him but not quite closing the gap.

"Yep," He says, eyes bright as they bounce over Steve's face to drink in his boyfriend's love-soaked expression. He loves him. Steve loves him. Eddie sounds as lovesick as he feels when he whispers, "It's decided. I think you're it for me, Stevie-baby."

He presses forward, lets his mouth find their home in the curve of Steve's lips. It's warm like nothing he's ever felt before, softened by their gooey-grins of love. It's an in love kiss.

"Even if you're terrible at accents." He murmurs against Steve's mouth.

"Shut up."

Steve hisses, but he’s still grinning. The dinner bubbles behind them, still cooking away behind them. "Like I'm ever going to let you live that down."

Eddie finds he doesn't really mind all that much — God forbid his boyfriend ever remind him they're in love.

"Shut up," He still says, then sticks out his tongue, like he's ten years old. "You love me."

"I do." Steve admits easily, his fingertips dancing along the small of Eddie's back. Eddie has to tuck his bottom lip behind his teeth to restrain his wild grin.

"And I love you." He says, properly this time, jabbing his finger into Steve's chest — so there's no absolutely mistaking it.

[missadangel]

Little Bird in a Cage

Part 1: Operation Little Bird

---------------------------- All episodes here ------------------------

(Javier Peña x reader)

In this story, the reader is the daughter of the Colombian Defense Minister from Narcos season 3 and DEA agent Javier Peña has to kidnap her to protect her.

Rating: Mature, 18+

Word Count: 54,191 in total.

Warnings: falling in love, rough sex, smut, sex, mention about sex workers, cursing, alcohol, kidnapping, violence, gun violence, drugs, narcos, Cali cartels, unplanned pregnancy, fluffy, mention about pregnancy, bathtub sex, age gap (10-15 years)

Summary:  When I was writing this story, I wondered what it would be like to be kidnapped by Javier Peña. i wish lol

Notes:  English is not my native language so bear with me. hit me in comments if you like it so i can keep sharing. Enjoy!

Gif by azerytrobaz - reddit

-Prologue-

The night you turned 22 you met incredibly charming and mysterious man, and the first time you saw him your heart skipped a beat. Immediately the question came to your mind,

What if he’s the one?

That was your first mistake…

You will soon realized that he was Javier Peña,  former DEA agent - yes, former, because your father played a big role in getting him discharged - who has been sneaking up on you because of all the shit your father had done and was going to kidnap you to teach him a lesson. So that was the plan, at least for now.

From Javier's point of view, it wasn't the first time he'd seen you. He's been after your father for a while for aiding and abetting the Cali cartel. But because your father was Colombia's respected minister of defense, it was very difficult, close to impossible, to expose it. But on the other hand, you were his only weakness, which made you the only option.

"It's fuckin stupid, we'd better commit suicide..."

Javi grumbled while he's stalking you on the way your home.

That was the first time he saw you, you look like very happy with your friends returning from college, unaware that the man you would later love and hate so much was following you at the moment.

Of course, you didn't know about the shit your father was doing and you never did.

As Javi spy on you behind his sunglasses in a distance, all he could think about was how to approach you. You were young and quite beautiful that every man would want you easily. He was at least 10 years older than you and he usually spends his time after work in the brothel with prostitutes, he wasn't very good at approaching other women.

"She usually likes to hang out at a bar with her friends, that's good for you sir, that's your specialty." Chris said with a smirk standing next to him.

Javi rolled his eyes. "Let’s see."

The plan that Javi, the other two agents Chris and Daniel, and his buddy Steve -by providing support from Bogota- came up with was actually technically quite simple. Kidnap the minister's daughter, hold her for a while so that you can protect her from the Salazars, the archenemy of the Cali cartel, and others can't get to her. The CIA certainly didn't want to be involved in this plan because they had already taken Escobar. That's why it was actually very difficult. Javi was no longer an agent and he was not authorized to ask any support.

So he had to reluctantly go to Don Berna, knowing that he would definitely want something in return, of course. But Javi was doing it partly for himself, he wanted more than anything to go back to his days as an agent. And taking the cartel down.

They could kidnap you suddenly when your'e outside, but a conflict would be inevitable, and if gets out that Javi was involved in this, the positions of other agents could be in danger, and even if America's name would heard about the kidnapping of the minister's daughter incident, it could be very very bad.

That's why Javi was going to approach you as random guy, not as an agent. The first attempt was failed, because you were at home almost all week, and sometimes you went shopping, that's all. Also you were given ride by a car every-damn-time. Javi was getting more and more impatient wondering when he would find the right time.

Luckily, due to the information Javi received, the girl -you- has a birthday party tonight and you were going to be with your friends only. That night, he was primping his hair more than usual night, he was already very attractive with his bright brown eyes, slightly shaped hair, clean-shaven face except for his mustache.

He put his favorite perfume on his neck and a little on his black leather jacket too, then left the house.

The party was in the bar of an elite hotel. As Javi approached the crowd at the entrance of the big hotel, his phone rang. That was Chris, he was joking about whether he was going to put a bug in his jacket so they can eavesdrop on .

"Fuck off," he hissed and approached the entrance. It was not difficult for him to get in, pass the security etc., the main problem was what he was going to do inside. He sat down on a bar stool, had a drink and started spying around. He looking for you, and he almost spit out his drink when he noticed you, “Damn,” he gulped.

There you were, standing in front of him with all your beauty, the dress you were wearing left your back and shoulders exposed, also was quite short so he can see clearly your long and smooth legs, shining under colorful lighting. Your light brown hair, resembling chocolate, was layered long, cascades down your back, your makeup was not too much but the color of your lips was just—

"Great," Javi muttered. He almost forgot what he came here for. He tossed off his drink and observed a little more, just then someone -he thought was probably her ex boyfriend -approached you, and things got tense after an argument, luckily for Javi, you walked over to the bar stool. With an upset expression, you sat down next to him without noticing Javi who got excited for a moment realizing finally had opportunity to make a move.

“Is everything all right?"

You just took a sip of your drink and startled by this question.

When you turned your head that way, you saw him, and were immediately surprised how you didn't see him before, sitting on barstool next to you, because he wasn't one to go unnoticed, at that moment you felt that you entered the field of his attraction.

This stranger asked you sincerely, he seemed a little worried but much curious though.

Even  you were almost forgetting why the hell you’re upset about. Then you shook your head and come to your senses.

"Yes, I think so," you murmured without looking at him.

"It's just that some men can't handle being dumped," you sighed. Javi smiled flirtatiously, "If the person who dumped is a beautiful woman like you, I can’t imagine how though to handle."

When you heard his compliment, you felt your cheeks turn red, you couldn't take your eyes off his dark brown eyes for a while. You smiled and made a gesture like thanking him with the glass in your hand. Your friends came to check you on trying to convince you to go with them but you didn't want to go.

The music was loud, everyone were dancing madly but you didn't want to dance either. For some reason, it was more tempting for you to sit with this stranger.

"May I ask your name?" he asked.

"Y/N," you said immediately, your voice was like a silver bell ringing. "And your name is?"

Of course, Javi couldn't say his own name, he had to lie, and he said the first name that came to his mind.

"I'm Juan."

"Glad to meet you, Juan. You're not here for my party? why are you here?" you asked in a curious way.

"I think my date ditched on me tonight," he pouted his lips and smirked.

"Oh, it's too bad," you said sincerely, "Well, her loss."

"Do you think so?” he said, by raising his eyebrows. “That was very kind of you."

Oh god, those eyes you thought, feeling your heart pounding so fast.

‘Can you be my birthday present?’ you wished and smiled to yourself for naughty thoughts and hoped he didn’t notice that shit.

"Let me stay here if you want, the party is almost over anyway, you have no idea how happy I am to get another age," you said in a sarcastic voice, looking at your friends and rolling your eyes.

"Well, happy birthday then," said Juan (aka Javi), handing you his glass to toast.

After toasting your glass with him, you had a long conversation, you started to like him more and more, however it was quite late.

"Oh, it's almost 2 am," you said in a nervous voice, checking your watch.

"Juan, it was nice to know you, but I need to go home. My father is very strict. And he won't accept any excuses."

"Okay, I have no intention of getting beaten up by a girl's father, but let me take you home, because I’m afraid, all of your friends are gone so."

You immediately turned your head and looked around, he was right, there was no one left, well, you wondered how this happened so fast.

"We had a very long chat, ha?” you smiled hysterically.

“Si, I enjoyed every moment," he got up with triumphant joy and helped you to put your jacket on. How kind he was, you thought, when he helped you while putting your jacket on with his big hands and the smell of his perfume came to your nose, almost took your breath away.

It was fucking perfect.

--

"Actually, you can't give me a ride home," you said before leaving the hotel.

"My father always sends a private car to pick me up."

You sound was low because you've never liked that.

Javi quickly scanned the outside with his eyes, he didn't need your father's men to see him at all right now.

"Then will you give me a chance to see you again?" he asked quite willingly hoped it wasn't too much to ruin everything.

You didn't know what to say, usually you would never tell your father about their relationship because he kept grumbling unnecessarily.

But you wanted to see Juan again more than anything, you surprised even yourself with this eager attitude. What was happening to me like this? you thought.

Javi was waiting wanted you to say yes more than anything, time was running out. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get that close to you again. It should be done later this week.

"We just met, Juan," you suddenly said, “I'm not used to this, meaning this is the first time I've had such a chat with someone I met at the bar.” You didn’t want to look like easy.

“But I can give you my beeper number." you added, mischievously.

While you were typing in your number to part of paper, Javi was wondering if it was right time to kidnap you right now. But suddenly his eye caught the men standing outside next to the black car. They were probably waiting for you. He had to a give up, it was too risky.

"Here," handing him your number written on a paper.

"Good night," you said with a warm smile

"Good night," Javi answered in low tone looking the paper you just gave him.

Suddenly something came to your mind and you stopped for a moment, which made a big smile on your face. You immediately turned towards him, after you check the men waiting for you, one of them was coming towards you slowly, you had to be quick.

"Do you like painting?"

Javi was surprised.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I have an exhibition of paintings at the Muli museum on Friday at 8pm, maybe we can hang out afterwards."

Javi's brown eyes were shining with hope, he smiled at you so warmly.

"Ah, and the best part is, dad won't be there," you whispered, blinking at him, then you ran towards the car like the cinderella in a hurry for her carriage.

That was your second mistake…

Javi was happy, felt like he has won a victory.

"Can’t fucking wait, baby," he murmured with a smirk on his face .

----

“What the fuck?”

Opening your eyes in a place you've never seen before, trying to remember what you did last night, where you were, and how you got here.

Or by whom.

Your memory was starting to come back with a terrific headache. You were waiting for him in the art gallery of the museum, people were congratulating you for your exhibition and it was crowded. You were hoping for him to come, yes, him. The person who brought you here. He.

When you sit up in bed, you realize that you remember everything.

Juan brought you a bouquet of flowers, visited your exhibition, praised the paintings you made, and then offered to have dinner outside, everything has been great so far. Until when he asked if you wanted you to go to his house after dinner, and you said yes.

Well, that was your third and last mistake.

-----

While the two of you were driving towards his house-at least while you were hoping so- he brought you to a large area, somewhere like a helicopter field.

You got out of the car and looked around try to understand what the heck is this, but before you even turned around to ask him, You felt your consciousness go away with a sharp smell coming from a rag which he was holding his palm pressing to your nose. The last thing you remember is that a helicopter was approaching in the distance.

Suddenly, your heart started beating very fast, you pressed your hand to your chest, feeling make a fool of  hit you very hard.

You immediately stood up to look out of the window. Everything was dark outside, the only visible things were the forest-like trees that made it impossible to see the sky and the weak lighting that surrounded the house where you are now. There were iron bars outside the window, like a prison. Anger and a feeling of being cheated began to take over your body. You turned your eyes to the room and hastily reviewed it, but there was nothing useful, your body wanted to leave here immediately, your survival instinct wanted to find a way out.

"She's awake,” you heard a voice from behind the door almost whispering.

You were suddenly startled by the opening of the door, but at the same time you went into defensive mode.

He was the one who came in.

The first thing that came to your mind to take small lamp on bedside table and throw at him. Juan was fast, he flinched reflexively, then he carefully and  slowly approached you.

"Please listen to me, I'm not going to hurt you, let me talk."

"Who the fuck are you? What do you want, why are you brought me here?”

Javi then put his hands on his waist trying to find correct explanation.

“Answer me!” you yelled at him.

"Fuck, baby I know you’re surprised as hell but listen, I am Javier Peña. Former DEA agent, the reason I brought you here is to protect you only, please believe me."

"Is it so?" you asked in a sarcastic way.

You moved back and picked up a pillow this time and threw it at him again.

"Fuck off!"

Javi grabbed the pillow and sighed deeply.

He brushed his hair back with his other hand, which fell on his face when the pillow hit, and then he approached you, there was no place left for you to step back so just standing there.

Without taking his eyes off you, he threw the pillow on the bed. His eyes were deep and serious this time.

"I'm telling you the truth, I guess you don't know about your father's shit with the Cali cartel. I don't blame you. But it was only a matter of time before the cartel's enemies used you to harm your father, so I had to take you here."

"And you saved me? What, am I supposed to say thank you or something? Yeah, fuck you very much!"

He rubs his head, didn’t know what to say.

"You should have a dog in the hunt, right?” you asked suddenly, trying to find a way to get closer to the door.

Javi sighed and sit on small couch near the door.

"I lost my job because of your father, I'm not an agent anymore. Beside- wait!"

When you run towards the door in a quick move, he grabbed you from behind easily.

"Let me go," you cried. You were struggling to get out of his strong arms.

"Don’t be silly Y/N, have you ever thought about where you're going. There are soldiers outside, guards, and we're not in Cali anymore."

Suddenly you stopped fluttering, Javi hadn't pulled his arms out, he couldn't figure out what to do. But when he saw the sad expression on your face, he let you go.

"What do you want from me exactly?" you asked, your tone was no longer angry, yet desperate.

Javi grabbed your shoulders softly and looked into your eyes with his bright brown eyes.

"I want you to stay here until we capture the Cali cartel, we’ll do whatever you want or need, no harm will come to you, I promise."

"You mean, until you get your job back.”

Javi's touch by shoulders hurt you more, you pushed his hands away and he was avoiding reply and you both knew it meant yes.

"I want to talk to my father," you said after a short silence.

"No fucking way, I'm sorry."

"You were going to do whatever I wanted, you said so," you frowned.

"Everything except that," said with half smile.

His smile made you even more angry.

"Look, why don't you get some rest, stay alone for a while, we'll be downstairs when you need us."

You didn't answer, you were looking out of the window with hands crossed.

"Was it all part of this game?" you asked Javi who was about leaving the room but playing with door handle.

"I mean your interest in me," you explained, "It was all a lie, wasn't it? You approached me because of my father, didn't you?" looking at him this time.

"Get some rest, please" he said again, slowly closed the door, left the room.

You couldn't hold back your tears anymore and you let them flow and fell asleep while murmuring.

"How stupid I am.”

-------

The days were passing, and every time you were a hostage, you started to get more bored, you hated the feeling of uncertainty and detention.

And when you looked out of the window in your room and see the same things every day, it didn't help to make that feeling go away. Mercenaries, soldiers or whoever they are, they sprinting as group every day for training, changing shifts on duty, and this goes on until it gets dark.

Javi and others visiting you to ask what you needed and to bring food and drink only.

But you didn’t see Javi for two days. Even though he came anyway, he didn't talk much.

Maybe because you beg him for to get you out of there everytime he comes by, who knows. And one day the worst thing happened for you. Chris ran into the room at lightning speed because you screamed very loudly.

"Are you all right, senorita?"

Javi was in a meeting with the commander of the soldiers and Don Berna at the time. The meeting was about to end when his own name was called. He frowned, put out his cigarette and left the office.

"What now," he hissed.

He ran up the stairs, getting worried.

"What the fuck is going on here?" he asked curiously. Saw Daniel and Chris waiting outside of the bathroom door.

“Señorita has a problem, we didn't get it, sir."

Javi gestured his hands for them to step aside and grabbed door handle wanted to check but-

"Y/N are you all right? What-"

"Don't you dare come in!!!" you shouted quite loudly.

"Okay, can you tell me what happened, por favor?"

"Look, I need clean clothes to change and, the, that thing," your voice was cracking.

Three men in the room looked at each other confused as hell, they had no idea. Javi approached the door softly again.

"To what, cariño?" his voice so soft too but it only made you more angry.

"Just the fucking girly thing," you scolded him.

"Never came to your little minds of yours, when you were kidnapping a girl, ha? Idiots!"

Javi felt so embarrassed when he realized, he bit his lip and ruffled his hair with his hand.

"I'll find you what you want, I promise, you hang in there a little longer, okay?" almost begging.

Daniel and Chris giggled each other.

"Stop it and think about how we will find it." Javi snarled.

"The market near here is at least 50 km away, sir."

“Fuck.”

"What about the female soldiers? I've seen one, no harm to ask her, right?"

Javi nodded.

"You two stay here.”

“Hurry up!!!” you shouted again.

When he get out of the building, Don Berna and the others were there.

"Hey amigo, is there any women among soldiers? I need to talk to her right now."

"Peña," Berna laughed roughly.

"If you need a hooker, just tell me. Anton will take you. I wouldn't recommend approaching female soldiers with that intention. If you know what I mean."

He laughed so hard that the cigar in his mouth almost felling to the floor.

"Fuckin hilarious.” Javi snorted.

----

You were in a lot of pain and the bleeding couldn't stop.

You had no choice but to trust Javi and wait. When you were about to faint, you heard the door open, and immediately after, a woman's voice came to your ear.

"I'll take it from here, gentlemen," she said confidently.

You were almost relieved when you saw a woman in uniform in front of you. She brought clean clothes and tampons, also helped you to change, and now you were dying to get out of fucking bathroom.

"Thank you, really," you said sincerely.

"No problem, señorita," she smiled and left the room, but Javi has entered before the door was closed.

"Are you feeling better?"

Suddenly you felt your cheeks turn red.

"Yes, thank you," you said, avoiding to make eye contact with him.

“Don’t thank me, just be okay,” he muttered and left the room.

You wanted to say more but couldn’t. Feeling abandoned because he left you in the room alone, but because you were so tired to think over. So you preferred to go to the bed and lay down.

-----

---------------------------- All episodes here ------------------------

[charliedawn]

Hey this is some stupid fear I have but how would some slasher ( whoever you want. ) React to a nurse who is young like in 20s and isn't scared at dying at a young age or isn't scared of dying like any time, but it's scared to grow up? It's really a stupid fear I have personal.

P.S you don't need to do it tho.

( sorry for the bad Grammer, English is my second language. )

Pennywise:

"Yeah. Growing up is scary, kid. I won’t lie to you. But, guess what ? It is part of the process." Pennywise hesitated before patting your head. "Cheer up. Being mortal isn’t all that bad. Living forever is a bore honestly."

Pennywise’s throat tightened as he realised that you would grow up. He knew it was a process and that in the blink of an eye…You would be gone. He waited a few seconds before surprising you by pulling you into a hug. Your eyes widened as you realised that he was shaking.

"Pennywise…" You uttered in a whisper before sighing and hugging him back.

He didn’t say anything. Truth was ? He was scared too. But, he didn’t want to tell you with words. So, he hugged you and hoped you’d understand that he was scared too…but that he was happy that whatever little life you had left, he’d be right next to you until the end.

Penny:

Penny lost so many people in his life that he asked Pennywise to erase his memories of the people he used to love. When you shared your fears with him however, he tilted his head and seemed to ponder on it for a moment before shrugging.

"I could make you live forever. Would you be happier if I did ? Make you immortal ?"

You started thinking about it.

Living forever ? You smiled sadly and shook your head negatively.

"Thank you, Penny. But…I don’t think I would like to live forever. Life is meant to be precious…It is not meant to go on forever."

Penny tilted his head and looked puzzled, but he didn’t say anything. It was odd. He had never seen his life as precious when he was alive. But yours ? His jaw twitched slightly. Yours. He valued.

Vincent Sinclair:

Vincent is an artist. He sees beauty in everything.

When he heard that you were scared of growing up, he just started taking as many pictures as he could of you and showed them to you. He then told you in sign language that you’d live forever—in his camera.

And that if you were scared ? Well, you just had to look at the photos and remember that that was how he would remember you forever. He then started stroking your hair and pressed his forehead against yours to calm you down.

Vincent knew he would eventually have to say goodbye.

But, to him ?

You would always remain a masterpiece.

Five Hargreeves:

"Growing up is scary. But, being stuck as a child is even worse. Children never get heard. I would know. I was a child. Twice."

He said and looked down. So many years spent in solitude. So many years wasted. He lived for decades and yet, Five never thought that he was truly alive. He was feeling better with his siblings, but he never actually had any moment in his life that he could say that he felt like he was enough or enough. Sometimes, he even wondered if the world would have been better without him.

It was only when he was admitted in St Louis that he realised he wanted to be something more and make his life a good one. It wasn’t until he met…you.

He looked at you and smiled.

"You gave me a life. And even when you get older and start forgetting about how you changed everything for me, I’ll be there to remind you. Every single day."

Jason Voorhees:

Jason never had a real childhood. He was bullied as a kid and his overprotective mother never allowed him to get out of her sight. When she died, he had no one to look after him and felt lost and lonely. He tried to reach out to people, but he could never create attachment with anyone.

So, he just kept killing and making sure people stayed away, because it was better than to get hurt.

And then, he met you.

He started caring for you more than he’d care to admit and soon enough, he wasn’t feeling as lonely anymore.

Jason *hugs you tightly*

Jason started looking up to you and even though he was also afraid of what will happen when you get too old to keep him company, he still wanted to keep you close to him—no matter how sad he would be once he would have to say goodbye.

Brahms Heelshire:

Brahms looked at you and shook his head—as if he didn’t believe you.

"Y/N…Never going to grow old. Will stay young forever. Young forever with Brahms."

He hugged you and closed his eyes.

Deep down, he knew that you’d eventually grow old and disappear. But, in his mind ? You’d always be perfect. No matter how old you get or how afraid you get.

Brahms : "Don’t worry, Y/N. Brahms is here. Brahms will stay with you…"

He held back tears and just hugged you tighter.

Norman Bates:

Norman: "…Darling. Listen to me. I am the oldest slasher to have ever existed. I was born in 1932. I am old. Very old. But…I would give up a whole eternity just to be with you. So, it is not about having a long life, but a good one. A worthy life. And just meeting you made mine worth it. And if I was to die tomorrow ? I can say…I lived a good life." He smiled and stroked your cheek affectionately with his forefinger. "You should do the same. Stop worrying about when your time is gonna run out or because of the few wrinkles on your face. Just remember to have fun and enjoy your life. Take the advice of a man who’s seen it all."

He then put down a tray on the table.

"Now, tea ?"

Jack Torrance:

"Old ? Ah. Don’t you worry, sweetheart. You’ll be one hell of a cute old lady, if you get there." Jack never got the chance to grow old. He secretly misses being alive. He would have loved to grow old with his family and be a father to Danny. But, he never got there. He died—frozen and alone. He then came back as some sort of ghost who feeds on fear. So, no. Growing old isn’t something he would find scary, or losing you. Because he knows that when you do grow old and eventually leave this world, you will go to a nice place—unlike him. And if you don’t ? Well, you’d be trapped with him. Either way, he knows you’ll be alright. So, he isn’t worried.

"You’ll be fine. I know it. Now, stop worrying and come have a drink with me."

Hannibal Jr.:

"You will always be a Hannibal in my eyes. No matter how old or wrinkled you get…You will always be my beloved daughter." Hannibal Jr. told you when you shared your fears with him. He stroked your cheeks and smiled. "Always."

You smiled at him and hugged him tightly. He returned your hug and whispered in your ear.

"You will always be part of this family." He then kissed your forehead. "No matter what."

Ghostface (Eddie Munson):

"…Don’t worry. We will grow old together. It will be less lonely." Ghostface told you and smiled at you. Unlike the other slashers, Ghostface can grow old. He is not exactly a slasher. It is more of a multitude of people taking the role with time. Eddie won’t be Ghostface forever. Once his mission over, he will start growing old as well until he just gives his mask to someone new.

Ghostface *scoots closer to you and wraps an arm around your shoulders* : "I bet we will be the coolest old people ever…" *smiles*

[angsthology]

GENRE: COMEDY

a series of drivers in different sitcoms. thats it. thats the only description i can give.

originally, this was a series inspired by this tiktok i saw then @disneyprincemuke (no one's surprised anymore) corrupted me into actually making it BUT! i wanted to have my own twist to it so here it is;

special mentions to @foreveralbon @localwhoore for... being there

also i gotta be honest the deeper u scroll the more sloppy i got with the ideas cause i fr ran out of sitcoms (that ive watched and/or may not just be in my list for future watch since i ran out) and ideas so im sorry folks 🫠 also no promises on this series well

some of these MIGHT change because i am stupid. and, yeah.

the good place # mv1

he tried to kill you... nay, he did kill you, that’s why you’re here. and now he’s your alleged soulmate?

community # sv5

in life, it seems the only thing you’re ever good at is “trying again” but when will it stick?

how i met your mother # ls2

it’s almost like the world is against you being happy. but of all people, why did it have to be him?

new girl # cl16

crazy how one of your best friend’s new roommate was destined to be yours forever and you didn’t even know (apparently he did, though)

abbott elementary # gr63

the new first grade teacher seems to be unable to function when you’re around, wonder why that is?

modern family # eo31

when and how did your dads managed to get someone so cute to rent your upstairs apartment?

brooklyn nine-nine # pg10

since when did captain holt had such a cute, —daughter?

schitt’s creek # aa23

nothing really to smile about in your life. but i guess he’s kinda nice

2 broke girls # op81

typical max black lore drop, apparently she has a brother now?

reboot # ln4

they gave you one condition: be in this relationship or not be in the show and who are you to say no? you’re new after all, who did you think you were?

what we do in the shadows # cs55

you’ve lived long enough, really. but not long enough for this to be your first experience at being part of a truce

superstore # yt22

you hated your coworkers for not believing that you have an actual boyfriend. proof? hm, got that from the internet, call? did you hire someone to do that?

friends # ls18

jack and judy geller are one hell of a matchmaker, whether they did it on purpose or not

veep # lh44

you honestly can’t stand him sometimes. you truly don’t know what his problem is but who knows maybe he’s just english.

victorious # zg24

you guys are so cute, it’s quite sickening. literally.

icarly # ms47

you two were... inseperable. until—he seperated away, i guess. but hey! he’s back apparently and there’s really nothing you can do about it except try to keep the heart eyes too a minimum

AGAIN; absolutely no promises cause im shit <3

plus i dont rlly know why im doing this considering i currently have a pretty demanding life but oh well!!

[ginevrapng]

Hiii<3 im sorry, can you write something about george? I dont know, something sweet? I feel like he is like that, and i miss him so much and i love your writing so i kinda wanted to ask for that, it is totally okay if you dont do it!! Just want to say i love your writings<3 they made me feel like im living your stories, its just soo good<3 oh and sorry for my english it's not my first language

hi<33 hopefully you like this! i decided to write a sweet best friend to lovers with george. i love him so much and i feel like this trope fits him really well. {contains slight angst but blink and you'll miss it

i'm really glad you like my writing, i love to hear that it! your english is really good by the way<3

george weasley is your best friend. you met at hogwarts in your second year and by your fifth year your feelings for your best friend were less than platonic. it's frustrating being in love with your best friend, you know it's wrong and he doesn't think of you that way but at the same time you don't really blame yourself george is amazing and it's no wonder you fell for him.

george loves you and it's so obvious to everyone, at least everyone that isn't you. george is sweet and kind but with you he takes it to another level yet you're so oblivious. he's your best friend of course he's going to be more touchy with you, right?

george always pulls you towards when you're walking down corridors together, he puts his arms around you and brings you to his side when you're sitting next to each other but in your eyes it's just george being comfortable around you. he even kisses you cheek and forehead and you brush it off. george is incredibly tender with you, holding your hand gently and complimenting you everyday. "you look very pretty today love" and "another o? you're so clever sweetheart." you think those affectionate nicknames are just between best friends though, you do call him georgie when the only other person who does so is fred.

he spends his spare time with you and makes time for you between pranking. george loves it when you help him with his pranks by giving him ideas, he knows you typically try to stay away from getting properly involved worried that you'll get into trouble but he loves when you praise him about how brilliant his pranks are and how creative he is. george always makes sure that fred doesn't prank you, the last time fred pranked you was in their third year and george was pissed off, not wanting to talk to him for days. it was a harmless prank but he didn't want you to be the target of their pranks.

george comforts you whenever you need it, sometimes you can get emotional and he'll be your support. if classes are getting you down he'll be there next to you, holding you in his arms after class while you lay on his bed while he tells you about how rubbish the teacher is and how stupid the subject is, "don't let it get you down sweetheart, so what if you got a d in astronomy? sinistra is just terrible, she's even worse than snape." you knew he didn't think that but it still brought you comfort.

if someone says something mean to you they'll suffer with some harsher prank. when he overheard zacharias smith talk bad about you he made him pay the next quidditch match the gryffindors had with hufflepuffs, george focuses more on aiming any bludgers towards smith than any other hufflepuff.

george knew you'd always be friends, no matter how many hints he gave, you'd only see him as your best friend. sometimes he thinks he has a shot when he swears he sees you look at him the way he looks at you but he dismisses it. he's happy to be your best friend and he hopes that however you end up will treat you well, just as long as you don't end up liking... "i can't help it, i know i should be trying to get over him but i love him so much." he hears your voice. "he's just perfect, he's so sweet and always looks after me. he's so good at quidditch and he's so popular... i know i don't have a chance. his red hair is so hot and i lay in bed at night thinking about his lips." george hears the laughter of your friends and his heart breaks.

you deserve to be happy, you do, but the one person he wishes you didn't fall for was his twin. george feels like everyone prefers fred, george has felt second best all his life and at the end of the day george is insecure and you're one of the only person who knows this. he goes to leave not wanting to hear anything else you have to say. "he's my best friend." george immediately stops, "i mean it's george bloody weasley. he's amazing and i'm just me." george grins and he's so glad he took his time walking away before you carried on speaking.

at dinner that night he comes up to you and whispers in your ear, "come to the room of the requirement later love." you nod your head and later on you're worried that you'll get caught out of your common room after hours but you trust george and you'll risk getting into trouble if it meant spending time with him. when you arrive to the room of requirements you're shocked by the display. george has set up a midnight feast with hot chocolate for you both to warm you up, a blazing fire, a big comfy sofa and big bed. basically a big room where you can relax for the night with george. "this is amazing georgie."

george's heart is beating incredibly fast as goes to stand next to you. "i'm so glad you think so." you see pink dusting his cheeks and wonder if the room is too warm for him. he gently picks up your hand and places it on his chest where you can feel his racing heartbeat. your eyes widen as you get worried but before you can ask him if he's okay he starts speaking. he cups your cheek in his his hand, "i love you," he presses a soft kiss on your lips causing you to gasp at his confession.

[beauty-and-passion]

Love Olympus: the "charming" lessons we learned from it

Hi! Are you searching for a good story, filled with creativity, care, coherence and beautiful art style? Then please, turn left and you will find something worth your time.

Here we will talk about that beautiful, terrible disaster that is Lore Olympus. Ah, it's always so nice to read a new retelling of Greek mythology and find out it's basically the same 200 stereotypes slapped together into something that's way older and staler than the original. What did my ancestor ever do to the world, to be treated like that.

But I've already talked about what a waste of potential Lore Olympus is, how pathetic the writing is and how bad the protagonists are. I've spent more than enough words commenting on why this series could've been great and came out like this.

Now there's only one thing left: to make fun of it. To draw our conclusions on the whole thing and the finale and find out what "wonderful" messages we got from it.

Don't worry: the messages are absolutely wonderful and I'm not sarcastic, not at aaaaall.

_______________________________

Planning in advance is for the weak

Don't you know how to fill your third season, after the "battle" that closed season 2? No problem! People will read you anyway, so instead of planning and moving the plot forward, waste everyone's time writing chapter after chapter of pure nothingness: your characters can have discussions so stupid, that people will question if they have been written by using ChatGPT. That will surely prove what a great writer you are!

And don't worry too much about the plot: just wait until inspiration magically falls from the sky. That's how it works, isn't it? Stories are just random events slapped together, with no planning, care or coherence whatsoever. When we write a story, we don't want to treat our readers like intelligent human beings, oh no: people are idiots, so we can just throw them the first shit that pops out of our minds and everything will be fine.

_______________________________

Coherence is for the weak

After waiting for inspiration (that somehow hasn't fallen from the sky yet, jeez I wonder why), you still don't know what to do with your plot? Easy, use one of the villains! Like the rapist guy! Now he's running for President.

Yes, we know there is a monarchy in this land, because there is a king, but it doesn't matter. The rapist is trying to be President now. President of what, you ask? It doesn't matter! Presidents exist, right? So he's trying to be one, that's all you need to know.

Will he become President? He's running from it, that's all! You don't need to know what happens after that! As we all know, stories do not have closed plot points, they're just random shit thrown around. So why care about solving a problem you just raised? Just forget it, it's not important.

Is the story supposed to take place in Olympus or, at least, in Greece? Well, what's the problem? As we all know, Europe and the US are basically the same thing, so how different can Greece and America be?

I mean: one is a huge country with many climate zones and wide areas, the other is a small, hot country mostly made of mountains and islands. One has a millennia-years-old culture that influenced the entirety of the West, the other is literally called the New World, to emphasize how young it is. Same place.

So, since they're so similar they're basically identical, just fill your Greece with American stuff and give your characters English names. Greece is notoriously full of English names. It's not like there are millions of people with similar names because parents give their own parents' names to their offspring and sometimes all siblings give their parents' names to all their children and the result is that your cousins all have the same goddamn name and you all came up with nicknames to distinguish between them.

No, that's not based on personal experience, what makes you think that.

_______________________________

The protagonist is better than anyone else

Is Zeus telling you he wants to give his child to some nymphs, because he knows won't be a good father? Well, clearly the most normal thing to do is steal his baby. No, not because you're a psychopath, but because you clearly know how to handle the baby better than some nymphs. Remember: you are the protagonist, hence you are better at everything anyone can do, especially a stupid nymph. You will care for the baby more and better than anyone else, no doubt.

Is the child you stole running around without supervision? But you took care of him! You even hired a babysitter! No, of course you didn't spend time with him, you were busy! What? It could've been better to leave the child with the nymphs as Zeus wanted, because at least they would've spent their time with the child and not hired someone else to do it? Listen, we don't work with logic here and you are the protagonist, so of course all of your decisions are perfect and should never be questioned.

Speaking of kids: is your mother telling you she had a son who died? Time for some favoritism! Your husband is the god of the dead, so death isn't a problem anymore. What? Death is supposed to be impossible to overcome? But you're the protagonist, so the mere mortals' rules do not apply to you. Death is nothing, compared to your perfection.

Oh no, you accidentally caused winter! And a genocide! But remember: you're the protagonist, so of course you're always perfect. And you didn't do it on purpose, so you're automatically innocent and people attacking you are just mean and jealous.

See? You're so perfect, you found a way to solve the problem! How? Easy, by believing in yourself ✨✨✨ And by talking (badly) about how life and death are linked. Yes, we know it's the equivalent of saying that 2+2=4, but we don't want to treat our readers like intelligent people, here. All they have to do is just revel in your perfection.

_______________________________

More villains! Because Yes!

Do you still have no idea what to do with your plot, after too many useless chapters? Easy, use the cartoonish supervillain! He will do the trick! And throw another naked woman to defeat him: it worked once, it'll work again.

Is your cartoonish supervillain actually useless? No problem, make another villain even more useless. And make him appear out of thin air for two chapters. And since readers are stupid, just tell them that he was the evil mastermind behind everything. They'll eat it up.

Oh, and President Loser is in cahoots with SuperMegaVillain now. Why? Because Yes, of course.

You don't know how to defeat SuperMegaVillain? 🧑‍🤝‍🧑Avengers Assemble🧑‍🤝‍🧑and you're done. It worked for Marvel, it'll work for your story too. I know it's settled in Greece and fertility goddesses do not have resurrection powers or whatever the fuck they're doing, but shhhhh.

_______________________________

Random justice is good

With all those villains to defeat, you forgot your story is supposed to be a retelling of the myth of Hades and Persephone? No problem, just stick a "Gaia Ex-Machina" here and let her solve the story with a power and authority she doesn't have. No one will notice the difference.

Speaking of justice: is the rapist gonna get the punishment he deserves? Sure, get this: he will fall in love with you and turn himself in. And he will get community service as punishment.

Are you saying that this isn't a real punishment? But of course it is! He turned himself in! The victim isn't allowed to expose him, nor to see him actually getting punished. All the victim can do is walk away. It's not that lack of control is a big deal for a rape victim, right? And seeing the rapist finally get punished won't give them the catharsis they need, right? And it definitely won't free them of the huge weight they carry on, because of the awful, horrible act they suffered from, right?

Of course not, so ah ah ah, the rapist gets to build places, very funny. And aside from that stupid punishment, of course he's free to walk around and, who knows?, maybe rape someone else. Wow, justice truly works well in this place! I would feel so safe to go around there!

_______________________________

Queer people are stupid too (and ghosts, sometimes)

All those villains could've been great in a story centered around Zeus? We don't work with Zeus here: we hate men, all men except for the capitalist hubby of our dreams. So Zeus is a useless piece of shit and he will keep being a useless piece of shit until the end. Also, he's not a real king anymore, because apparently democracy popped out of nowhere and everyone just rolls with it. I wonder why it too centuries to accept it all over the world...

And Hera is a lesbian now. Why? I already told you we don't work with logic here. She's a lesbian because queer people are idiots too, so thrown them a queer character and they will like it, doesn't matter if it makes zero sense.

Uh? Are you saying that asexual and aromantic people exist too? No, of course not: they're just waiting for the hot lesbian of their dreams or for the hubby that will turn them into wives and mothers.

Hence why the organization centered around celibacy closed: it was just a cover for lesbians after all! And we all know that women can only be lesbians or mothers. A woman doesn't want or feel any romantic attraction? She doesn't exist, then.

Wow people, I don't exist! I'm a ghost!

_______________________________

Feminism means gender stereotypes

As Wikipedia says, feminism is:

"... a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes."

But Wikipedia is stupid, while we won a shit ton of prizes for some reason, so we're the good authors here. And we decided that feminism means "women good, men bad". This definitely isn't a point of view based on a warping of the original concept of feminism, that focused on helping women because, since societies are patriarchal, men already have a powerful position. Hence why, feminism fought (and fights) to give women a powerful position too: to make both genders on the same plane.

But nope, this is all stupid and wrong and doing research is underrated - after all, we wrote a story entirely based on the first shit that popped into our mind, so why do research about this? Let's focus on the superficial vision of feminism and fight for women's equality, by making them lesbians or mothers.

Because sure, feminism is good, but capitalism is better. And since capitalism wants you to have kids, go home to your rich hubby and have a ton of kids you definitely won't neglect, like the child you stole or the supposed godson you never cared about and only after he's an adult "sometimes" you have a conversation with. That's how a perfect, traditional family works, after all. And we know this didn't lead to any generational trauma at aaaaall.

_______________________________

In conclusion

I don't know if you noticed the teeny tiny veil of sarcasm in my words. I know, it was so subtle, almost invisible. I made it oh-so-hard to find it, please let me know how hard it was.

But you know what? This story is over and I needed to let some sarcasm out. I am finally free to read something else, possibly (hopefully!) better.

And the next time I will approach another retelling... who am I kidding, I know I will fall for it like an idiot because that's what I do every time. They get me with something I love and once I find out it's shitty, I keep reading because I want to see how bad it is.

In this, Lore Olympus didn't disappoint: I expected something bad, I got something bad. And, sometimes, it was so bad, to make me laugh, so extra points for the stupidity: I appreciate something that makes me laugh, way more than something that makes me angry.

And, as I said in my previous posts, even something bad is useful, because it teaches you how NOT to do something.

So thank you, Lore Olympus, for being a terrible teacher. And thank you for making me appreciate the original myths even more. There's a reason why they still stand after millennials and can still capture the popular imagination, while this series will probably be forgotten in a couple years.

To you all, my readers: if you managed to reach the end of LO like me, congrats for surviving it, I hope you learned something useful about how to make better art.

But if you never approached Lore Olympus, don't do it: it's not worth the time you will lose.

Unless you want to see with your own eyes how does it look a story with zero planning and random ideas thrown everywhere. In that case, please, be my guest: read it and learn how not to write. You will learn a lot from this.

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(How about a coffee? ☕)

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[ronsenthal]

Ron Speirs x Female!Reader

Summary: After you helped Dick Winters and Lewis Nixon the word spread and soon enough this captain would come to your office too. 

A/N: First of all, I would like to apologize, this is my first time writing something, I’m pretty nervous and english is not my first language, I’ll just try my best. I had this idea after listening to Blank Space (Taylor’s version) on repeat and also looking for some Speirs info and found out his ridiculously pretty handwriting???? and then I realized that he is so Taylor coded and this came to my mind.

so this one goes out to my fellow BoB lovers who are also Swifties!! Hope y’all enjoy it and if you could leave some feedback I would very much appreciate it.

If only you knew that taking typing classes would lead you to live this life from city to city, seeing horrors, tragedy and pain, feeling cold, hopeless and tired beyond anything you could imagine or explain you would have had second thoughts. But then again, every smile from your friends, every stupid joke they would tell just to lighten the mood, every cup of “coffee” you would share would make it more bearable. “Yes, it was worth it” you told yourself countless nights before falling asleep and dreaming of hope it would all end, if not soon, at some point. 

“Yes, it was worth it” you told yourself after one night that you had too many drinks with Nix, you wish you could tell the same about Dick, but he would never allow himself to do so, but he also enjoyed the night out with his friends. It was only natural that you would end up following those two, after all, with some luck you ended up being assigned to help out Dick with the mess he was making at his office duties. After some time and after figuring out how to understand the man it became really enjoyable. 

Those nights that they would tell their stories for you to organize it down in a report for your superiors were as fun as they could be, given the circumstances.

Nix wouldn’t even bother to try to write his reports once he discovered how fast you could type and how concise you would turn Dick’s endless essays into comprehensive, yet detailed reports, soon enough you were helping both of your COs, your friends.

“(Y/N) I believe you have this weird super power, are you sure you are human?” Nix said after half a bottle of Vat-69, raising his eyebrows as if he was looking at you with this invisible magnifying glass. 

Dick only shook his head in disbelief. Sometimes you thought that they looked like one of those old married couples, knowing each other's quirks and peeves and yet somehow, finding it all amusing. You wondered if you could find someone like this in this God forsaken world you were living. 

One day you found it, but thinking back it wasn't easy at first and as it took some time to even lower your guard on your own brain, and allow yourself to think about it, about HIM. 

Ronald Speirs had quite a reputation, everybody knew the rumors, every man saw the things he so recklessly did on the field. His men were as afraid as the enemy, so it took you by surprise when after Foy he also started to hang out with you, Dick and Nix. The first time there was silence on the table after he arrived, you didn’t even had the chance to introduce yourself politely as Dick started out his endless questions about how the Easy men were doing, and then Nix introduced some drinks, yet you two never exchanged one word to each other before that day.

After a while his presence started to make you feel a little bit comfortable, especially after Dick assured you that he was a good man, a good leader and being a big brother figure, he wouldn’t let Speirs offer you a cigarette. Since then you could catch a glimpse at how his eyes shone even in the dark, how he looked tired after an operation. He wasn’t scary anymore, he was just another officer that from time to time would hang out with your friends.

After some time you started to get used to his presence around chasing Dick and Nix up and down, something you did yourself as they were like big brothers to you, protecting, giving their piece of advice and taking care of you. Soon enough you started to feel more comfortable around Speirs too, once you even called him Ronald after a couple of drinks.

Then one afternoon it took you by surprise when he knocked at your office, looking tired as hell with a pile of files on one hand, a pair of boots in the other one and a half burnt cigarette hanging on his lips.

“Sorry to disturb you (Y/L/N), but Nixon said you could help me out with this paperwork? I’ll be in real trouble if I don’t turn them in this evening. Also, he said you could use this one” Speirs told you while putting a tiny pair of combat boots on your desk and taking of his cap, not even giving you time to reply, not even looking at you.

“What in the name of god are you thinking? What the hell is Lewis thinking? You guys think I don’t have anything better to do, I have enough work to do, just look at this endless pile of work, so no, thank you, good luck” you said throwing your arms in exasperation, complaining and pointing out the huge paper files on your desk.

He stared at you in horror as if you were one of those german panzers, he opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the words but he couldn’t. You felt a twist in your stomach, looking at him you could see he was embarrassed, you never saw him so vulnerable and tired, this man could use some proper sleep. As he was turning on his heels to leave while muttering sorry a thousand times, guilt took the best of you.

“Wait” you said, closing your eyes knowing right after the word left your mouth how stupid it would be, after all you could use some sleep too, you deserved it. He slowly turned to face you.

“I’ll do it, but you better help me out and you are not allowed to smoke while we do that, I hate the smell”

You could swear you saw an amused smile on his face when he threw his last pack of Luckys on your desk. Soon enough you prepared your typewriter checking if you had enough ribbon and paper for your work, finally you sat down and stared at the man in front of you, it took him a few seconds to realize you were ready to start. 

At some point he took his jacket off and slowly put it on the chair he was sitting on, took of his tie and rolled up his sleeves, you tried not to stare at the man in front of you. If he caught you looking up and down he never said a word. It was not the first time you stared at this much feared man, truth be told you caught yourself staring at him more than once. Nix being the observant little bitch he was had this creepy little smile when he caught you one night looking at the Easy captain. You muttered something like “I’m gonna kill you” and prayed to god that he could send the biggest crate of whisky he could find so Lewis would get so drunk he would forget it.

You cleaned your throat, took a deep breath and asked for a small pause to take a glass of water. The man nodded and took a few steps to the little window and watched the landscape outside until you said you were finally ready again. “Back to work” you said to yourself.

….. 

When you two finished the sun was no longer up, just in time for him to turn on the report. While working on he would tap his fingers on your desk and look nervously at the watch on his wrist, but he never complained or tried to hurry you up. He quickly looked at the papers you cautiously handed him and shook his head, approving the final result.

“So that’s it?” he asked you, his voice soft and quiet.

“Yes that’s it, just write your name over here and we’re done” you said pointing at the blank space you left over his name at the end of the paper. 

He asked if you could borrow a pen for him to use and said a few “thanks” while signing the paper before leaving your office and storming out in the direction of the HQ, he never returned your pen but you didn’t even mind.

Then after composing yourself by stretching your back and taking a sip of your already cold coffee you decided to head down to the closest pub you could find, but firstly you changed your boots. Nix was right as you could use some new ones, but since you were so small compared to the rest of the guys it was nearly impossible to find some fitting boots, yet Speirs somehow got his hand in a pair just of the right size.

When you finally arrived at the bar your eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the lighting of the room, you then scanned the tables looking for Nix and Dick. When you recognized the friendly faces you started to move towards them, but then you felt a tap on your shoulders and turned to see who it was. 

“Hey excuse me Y/L/N, Captain Speirs asked me to hand you this” It was Lieutenant Lipton holding an envelope in his hand, like it was a classified piece of information that could change the war. This man took his duties very seriously, you thought to yourself as you took the envelope and put it in your pocket.

“Thank you Lieutenant” you said smiling at the officer in front of you, who smiled back and took his leave joining his men at the other table. 

You then walked to the barman and asked for a beer, when you were reaching into your pocket to find some money to pay the man he shook his head and his hands as if trying to say no, he paused a few seconds trying to remember the words in your language and explained the best way he could that someone had taken care of it, offered you some food, the most glorious, golden fried potatoes you’ve ever saw in your life.

As you walked down to the table holding your plate the Easy men stared at you as if you were a goddess walking on water or something, then started to shout at the barman asking for the same food. Dick and Nix exchanged a funny look between each other and Nix tried to take some of your fries before you slapped his hand. 

When you tried the first one you closed your eyes, it hit you like a full speed train crashing into a wall, so many emotions one after another, after months of terrible stinky food there was this little piece of heaven. You took a big gulp of the beer in front of you, and then someone put another pint in front of you, and then another one, and another one. You could swear it was the best feeling in quite some time, the men shouting and laughing all around you telling tales and jokes about Toccoa Camp, Sobel or Dike or some officer they hated, Nixon pestering Dick about something, all the stuff, all at once you almost forgot the place you were, what you were fighting for. 

Forgot….. 

Then you remembered the note that Speirs left you and you suddenly felt a rush that almost made you fall off your chair. You don’t know if it was the fourth (or fifth?) beer you had but you felt your hands trembling as you opened the envelope. Inside there was this carefully folded paper, you stared at it for some time before gathering the courage to open it, just to find this beautiful handwriting, you didn’t expect to come from the toughest son of a bitch in the entire army. 

“Dearest (Y/N),

Thank you so much for your help today. I will never forget it and I will find a way to repay you somehow. One night you said that as a kid you used to eat french fries when you were feeling down, so I took the liberty to ask Matthijs the barman to do something special for you. 

I hope it brings you a piece of home! Enjoy whatever you want, he is going to put on my account and don’t even try to argue with him or me about it”

Sincerely yours.

Capt. Ronald Speirs.

“P.S: I have some more paperwork due to the next week, I hope you don’t mind”

You smiled to yourself as you read it again and again, every time your heart would jump when you stopped at the YOU, your name written, your brain froze right there as if it could take a picture just by staring. You didn’t mind that he would eventually bring more work, because somehow he managed to do so, he brought you home. 

You were tired, drunk and your head was spinning a little but if someone ever asked you then yes: it was worth it.

[crybyemissamericanpie]

Pops would fucking hate you - Felix Catton x Masc!Reader

Pops would fucking hate you - Felix Catton x Masc!Reader

i had to rewrite this like 2 times,and i still dont like it but it is what it is

TW:Small fluff,Part-Nudity,Homophobia,Sexual theme meantions, cursing, smoking, meantion of alcohol,daddy issues(lol),overthinking

"My pops would fucking hate you"You humble out with a small smile,head layed on the cold wall,as you stare at the ceiling,feet slowly swinging in the air,sometimes hitting the bedframe, some old song playing in the background

"Oh really?Sounds a bit homophobic innit'?"Your boyfriend humbles back a small chuckle leaving his lips,as he tunes the tabs on his guitar which was in his lap

"that's probably the case"You sigh out,fidgeting with the half-smoked cig between your fingers

Your dad was never really the human rights guy,i mean he was a white middle aged cis straight man,he had no reason to be protesting and support as it doesn't affect him nor his family,or at least thats what he always said until,when you were 10 you and your guy best friend at the time were giggling about how would it feel like to be kissed,so you both find out with each other,it was just a small peck

And that would be just that but as your usual english walls,they were really fucking thin and your father in the other room could hear everything.he never told anyone or mention it to you,it was just the way he looked at you after you came in his room for a charger

The room falls silence for a moment,the guys voice on the record player starts again after instruments,not an awkward silence nor a comforting one.You put the cig between your lips and took a hit,feeling it go to your core,as you get goosebumps from the open window that none of you would bother closing,then you blew the smoke,out and watch it disappear into thin air

Felix stringing a few notes was the one who took you out of your own thoughts.”it doesnt matter,we fucking hate him either way”The boy snarks out,a small comforting smile on his face.This wasnt the first time you talked to Felix about your dad,you both went through the trauma dumping on the second date.You didnt know how to feel about your dad,i mean he was your father at the end of the day,and youve had mostly forgotten about him since you came to uni,but sometimes he would just appear in your mind.

“good point”You look at felix,his tender smile,make every girl and boy melt.It was definitely an experience dating the heartthrob of Oxford.He was new to long term relationships so of course sometimes you'd argue about some stupid girl flirting with him at the local pub and he didn't try to stop her or anything,maybe he was a bit right,maybe you could be a bit jealous,but he doesn't need to know that you kinda agree with him on that

“I think my parents wouldn't believe me if i told them that im dating you”said felix,stroking a few strings on his guitar,like he was about to sing a love song.”i mean like..not even me dating but like dating someone amazing like you”He says as he doesnt break his eye contact with the strings of the guitar,his smile could even be heard from his voice

“yeah sure”You chuckle a bit at his statement,not convinced at all.You take another blunt from the cig.”its true,they probably think that im having sex with girls right now”He says,as he sits up more,looking at you blowing the smoke out of the cig.”i mean..you were in the start of the term”You tease,with a small smirk,as you smear the cig on the glass cig dispenser,next to you on the small table

Felix scoffs,sassily”well that was at the start of the term,before i met you!”he says,both of his eyebrows perked up as he leaned a beat closer,then let himself fall back on the pillows which were leaned on the frame of the bed.

A smirk on your face as you see your boyfriend get a bit worked up”i cant argue with that”You choose to not tease him this time with it”I think my dad knows that im fucking a boy”You wonder,you knew that your dad.Felix hm’d in response,his attention on the guitar again

Silence fills between the two of you only the rain hitting the grass and the vinyls instruments filling up your ears,,as you look at the window,where the now very cold breeze was coming you see that it's raining,water coming on the edge of the window.felix's eyes follow your gaze and he puts the guitar next to you on the bed and gets up and closes the window,his shirt getting rain on it

You overthink a bit of what if he is now upset that you said that your fucking a boy,not actually dating one,Felix was sensitive despite his personality that he puts out,before you wanted to apologize he was taking his shirt off,his muscles beautiful,then he pulls his pants and boxer off in one go,grabbing a new pair of boxer which you guessed was his pajamas.its not like it was the first time you have seen him naked of course,but you cant help but admire everytime.

As Felix straightens up and you start”i'm sorry”You whisper out,hoping you wouldn't have to repeat it,felix looks puzzled”for what?”He asks his voice soft as he walks back to the bed putting the guitar next to his nightstand,sitting down next to you also laying his back against the cold wall

“for saying that i only have sex with you”You mumble out, staring at your socks,as you rest your chin against your knees,he was much more than that to you,much more that you couldn't even put it to words.you wanted to prove it and continue your words but when you would start Felix,puts his hand on your back,with a comforting smile”i know you didn't mean it that way”He says,his eyes glimmering at you,like you were a the last drop of water on planet earth and he have been thirsting for over 1 month

You can't help but smile at his words,making you feel better that you didn't offend him,he never liked when you over thinked.You straighten your legs,then hug him,burying your face in his bare chest,he wrapped his arms around your body,kissing the hair on your head,with a smile,you can feel his fingers drawing shapes on your clothed back.You look up at him,faces close that you could still feel the cheap beer of his lips

“i love you so much”He whispers,it was easy for him to say that,like it was the most simple words in the words,with no meaning behind them.”i want to have you for the rest of my life,have a family and move into a small farm house”He says,his brown eyes tickling,as he stares into yours,you can't help but chuckle as a big smile washes on your face”i know it's..like really early but i know,i feel it”Felix said.he had big plans,and you were one of them.

“i know…i hope too”You say,voice shooting as you give a small peck to his lips,then his lips falls onto yours for a longer kiss,and you don't hesitate to kiss back,lips pressed together as you were 2 pieces of a puzzle.

[eisforeidolon]

Hi! Sorry if i'm bothering you but i needed someone to talk. About what happened recently with Destiel and Misha and the fans that believed in the things he said. I am new to Supernatural fandom, but i loved the story in an instant, thanks to Sam and Dean and their unique relationship. Then i became interested in Jared and Jensen too and i think that if Sam and and Dean are the heart of Supernatural then Jared and Jensen are the soul of the show because to me no other actor could have played Sam and Dean like they did. Now, returning to what i wanted to say i am really TIRED about Destiel, some Destiel shippers and especially Misha. I know he said some stupid thing about how CW is homophobic and how Destiel would be canon if they weren't homophobic. I don't ship Destiel because sincerely i don't see romantic love between Dean and Castiel, but this doesn't make me an homophobic person. His words are said with malicious intent. He also said some thing about how Jensen is attracted to him. I find this disgusting because he says this things only for his Destiel fan, knowing that his words are lies. Also Jensen not being there can't reply to his lies. Like i sad i'm new to Supernatural but some Destiel are making the experience in the fandom a constant war. They say that if you don't ship Destiel you are homophobic , that if you don't ship Destiel you are not a true Supernatural fan and the most stupid one... They say that Supernatural is about Dean and Castiel and their love. This make me really angry because Supernatural is about Sam And Dean, how they care for each other,how they save the world again and again and how they hunt monster and ghost and other things. But to me Supernatural is the unique love story of two brother and how they did everything to protect each other. I ship Wincest, but When i say love story i mean that Sam and Dean are Platonic Soulmates in Supernatural and even the show always remind us of that. I don't understant how Misha can say this thing without facing consequences because his words feed some Destiel fan that became hateful like him and whose mission is hating people who don't think think like them. Sorry for the long post and for the horrible english but it's not my first language. Sorry if i bothered you but i needed someone to talk to because sometimes i feel like leaving the fandom because Destiel hate and their war against everyone. I hope you will always have love and kindness in your life.

You really don't need to apologize for anything.❤️ You aren't bothering me and your English is fine - maybe not perfect, but hell, neither is mine some days! Thank you for the lovely sentiment, and I wish you the same - and that you do what is best for you in regards to this sometimes dumpster fire of a fandom.

If it helps, you're absolutely not alone. I've been in this fandom for years now, and some days it's sheer stubbornness against hellers obvious attempts to browbeat and drive everyone else out that keeps me here. They didn't get to take over the show through being loud and obnoxious and they don't get to monopolize the fandom by doing the same - and they can be butthurt forever over it.

I actually didn't mind Dean and Castiel as a ship at first. I'm always interested in what people take from a canon and then create entirely outside of it, and I read quite a lot of fanfic. Even then I was baffled by shippers insisting it was a thing in the canon, though. There was a brief period where I wondered if I'd somehow missed it, because I'm not generally really looking for romance stories and there were so many posts that were so insistent? So I actually did a rewatch focused just on Dean and Castiel's interactions - and came away with the impression they weren't actually even as good of friends as I'd originally thought, let alone anything like interested in each other romantically. The more I thought about it and the more meta I ran across and actually considered the details of? The more obviously baseless it was. I mean, some of it really is just genuinely so stupid it's hilarious. Cake. Bacon. Negative space. Widower arc. Bisexual lighting and/or plaid. But even the theorizing which wasn't absurd on its face? Always looked silly in comparison to how much more obviously and easily it had meaning in relation to the main story that plainly actually existed instead.

Meanwhile, I kept seeing more and more of those posts you mention insisting anyone who didn't ship it was a homophobe and they really pissed me off. Even if Dean and Castiel were a canon couple who spent half of each episode doing couple things and saying I love you back and forth instead of the entire show revolving around Sam and Dean's crazy tangled up lives with Castiel occasionally wandering in and out of the background with some angel nonsense or whatever? Not shipping it would not make someone a homophobe. Shipping is very subjective and any individual pairing can not appeal to any particular fan for a million and one reasons that have sweet fuckall to do with how they generally feel about LGBT+ relationships. Attempting to bully people into supporting a single very specific fictional relationship by trying to make them afraid of being branded a bigot if they don't is ridiculous as hell, regardless of how canon or not it is. How absolutely fucking disrespectful to all the people who have to deal with actual homophobia versus just being butthurt they can't force two particular fictional characters to kiss. It's so goddamn juvenile I can't even.

The longer I was in fandom, the more brain dead and divorced from the show the meta claiming Dean and Castiel were going to hook up any minute got. The more annoyed I became at all the absurd stereotypes about masculinity and sexuality they would parrot as gospel truth if it could "prove" Dean was into dudes and eventually the angel. The more obviously transparent their every cry of ~*homophobia*~ was when they tried to turn every real life LGBT+ issue and every canon LGBT+ character primarily into proof and/or justification regarding D/C. They're a bunch of entitled shitheads who not only feel like they should get to dictate what SPN is despite hating basically everything it actually was, but who are perfectly fine with co-opting serious real world issues to try and do it. I have no beef with normal D/C shippers who aren't assholes to everyone and mad at the show for not bringing their fanfic to life, but I can't stand the pairing at all even in a fandom sense anymore.

The evolution of my feelings on Misha followed a similar path. I liked Castiel well enough as a supporting character and I didn't actively dislike Misha, though after I'd seen a couple of panels where his answers were flippantly irreverent or unnecessarily raunchy, I wasn't really much interested in him. Then, over time, at the same time Castiel's character was more and more blatantly just eating up screen time to give J2 time off, he started getting worse and worse about ship-baiting. He'd act like everyone behind the scenes was talking about D/C - but then they (Jensen and Bob Singer most notably) would say that was untrue. He'd slyly hint about upcoming scenes in a vague way to imply D/C and then it would be something else entirely. He'd tell shippers about things that had been pointedly removed because they could seem leading and that was not the authorial intent, but without pointing out that was exactly why they were excised. His stories would change when he got a bad reaction - he went from saying he shipped wincest to pretending he'd never heard of it, he went from claiming Jimmy was going to appear in the original Roadhouse finale to it being Castiel, etc. Then there was framing horsing around with Jared as if he was a victim and not a participant and the incredibly inappropriate objectifying sexual comments about Jensen and Dean. All of which caused the fans falling for it to loudly and angrily attack everyone but him while they kept buying his ops/books/cameos/whatever. No matter how blatantly he queerbaits them and how upset they get over it and take it out on everyone else, he does not stop. He's an ungrateful creepy narcissist who will throw literally anyone or anything under the bus if he can get a buck out of it. Who also will proclaim he doesn't want to co-opt LGBT+ causes when he's desperately trying to keep his career on life support doing exactly that in the most skeevy, backstabby way possible.

Jared and Jensen put their hearts and years of their lives into this show bringing Sam and Dean to life, episode after episode, week after week, season after season. Telling an important story about platonic and familial love that you really won't find anywhere else.

Misha and the hellers have spent years trying to co-opt that to their own ends out of gross entitlement. They deserve each other, but the show and its actual fans don't deserve to have to put up with either of them. Unfortunately, we have the fandom we have, not the one we deserve.

[lovelytsunoda]

can't stand the rain // george russell

summary: the nights are always long and lonely when she misses her lover. but dating a formula one driver isn't easy, and she knew that when she started dating the most wonderful and exciting man that she had ever met.

pairing: george russell x female reader

warnings: longing and pining! the harsh reality that which would be dating someone like george russell, but there is a happy ending! allusions to sex, but not written out.

I can't stand the rain, against my window cause he ain't here with me//hey window pane tell me, do you remember how sweet it used to be? when we were together everything was so grand//now that we parted there's just one sound that I just can't stand

it was on nights like these that she missed george the most.

rain drops crashing down against the window panes, a steady haze of fog rolling across the english country side.

she hated that sound when he wasn't here to share it with.

y/n was sitting on the couch by the window, a scented bath and body works candle on the coffee table, burning and filling the main floor of the house with that simple, summer scent as she wrapped herself in a blanket, powerpoint presentations reflecting off the blue light lenses as she typed.

dating someone as magnetic and larger than life as george russell was no easy feat. the days and nights were long, the timezones too much to bear as his schedule demanded he jet off to some faraway country every weekend.

sometimes, it felt like her george wasn't actually her george, but the world's george.

she slammed her laptop shut, rubbing her eyes under her glasses before she turned on the tv, dialing in to sky sports as the warm up for the evenings race began.

if george were here, they would be watching some stupid movie on netflix (last rainstorm it was bait, a movie about tsunamis and twelve foot long sharks), with the plush calvin klein blanket pulled tightly around their bodies until one of them got tired of the film and started getting handsy.

something about the rain always got george russell going. those afternoons usually ended up with y/n on her back, georges gentle kisses against her skin as he made love to her, the pitter patter of the rain in the background.

she missed him.

the race ended, and she sent him a congratulations text, knowing that he did the best that he could in a car that wasn’t where either mercedes driver had expected it to be.

she blew out the candle, phone in the back pocket of her jeans as she moved to the kitchen of a house that felt too large for just her alone as she warmed up the kettle.

her phone rang, and she slipped the small device out of her pocket, beaming as she swiped up to talk to the most important man in her life.

“hey, beautiful.” george russell beamed from the other end of the line, and the other side of the world. “how are you feeling?”

“tired.” y/n laughed. “uni is relentless. remind me why I decided to go to law school?”

“because I wanted a strong, powerful girlfriend?”

“hilarious. it’s killing me slowly.” she grimaced, placing a bag of peppermint tea in her indigo mug. “you had a good race today, honey. I know the car is shite this year, but you’re driving the hell out of that thing.”

“you know what, I think I’m finally getting the hang of the car.”

“that’s really good, georgie. I’m proud of you.”

george smiled sadly, wishing that he could reach through the phone and hold his lover in his arms. every part of his skin, his body aches for her touch, for the feeling of cradling her in his arms again.

“I miss you. I’ll be home before you know it, yeah? you’ll wake up in a few mornings and I will be there and you’ll get to wrap your arms around me and we’ll make the most of the time we have before I have to go to the next race.”

“I wish it were easier. I wish I could come with you.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

two days passed since that phone call, and the rain showed no signs of stopping. a few times the downpour has lightened to a manageable drizzle, but it was still as if the clouds in the sky were reading her emotions.

reading how much she longed for georges presence.

how she missed watching him play backgammon with his mates at the table by the french doors, sunlight refracting on his face.

how she missed his touch, even when it was the touch of his cold, cold feet in bed.

how she missed his cooking, even when he burned the simplest of dishes and ended up ordering takeaway (and swallowing his pride).

the weather outside reflected how she felt, but that fact did nothing to make her feel better. george was stuck in team meetings, despite the promise of a two week break before the next double header began.

she was debating the merits of going to visit her parents in the city, reconnecting with the world and getting away from her feelings and her term papers. it seemed like all she had done since george left was drink peppermint tea and pore over old court documents.

until the morning all was right again.

the sunlight was orange as it filtered through her curtains, the sun just beginning to rise over the hilly countryside. she heard footsteps, and the sound of the creaky bedroom door swinging open.

she’s have to to tell george to fix that.

george.

she didn’t believe her eyes. there he was, kneeling in front of the bed to kiss her forehead. she grumbled his name, trying to peel her groggy eyes open.

“I’m right here, darling. caught an earlier flight. there’s an iced coffee in the fridge for you.”

she smiled, reaching for his hand. “I missed you.”

“I know, love. can I join you?”

“you may.” she hummed, pulling the blankets back up over her shoulders. normally she would have loved to watch her boyfriend undress, but this morning she was far too sleepy to care about the sound of georges heavy hilfiger belt hitting the hardwood floor.

eyes still closed, she felt the mattress dip next to her as george slipped underneath the covers, taking her into his arms. she sighed contentedly, resting her head on his bare chest as the driver ran his large hand up and down her back.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too, george william russell.”

TAGS

@daydreamingleclerc @libraryofloveletters @magnummagnussen @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck @oconso @cl16version @cartierre @monzabee

[rinstrumental]

ellie gf headcanons pt. 2

# i’m a headcanon machine i cant be stopped… also she is literally a cheesy ass lose girlfriend this part is actually canon confirmed by naughty dog. modern au

if your native language isn’t english/speak any language other than english she is going to think you’re ten times cooler than you already are. best believe she’s hopping on duolingo first thing she gets home too so she can impress you (i know duolingo isn’t the best but she’s TRYING)

she took spanish in high school though

even though she can’t retain the info for shit she will search up terms of endearment in your language and call you them all the time even if you think its corny she can’t stop

whenever someone asks her what her type is she just says “my girl” with the most stupid grin on her face

she fidgets SO much omg she doesn’t wear rings often but when she does (you said they looked nice one time and all of a sudden she’s wearing rings every time you see her) she’s constantly playing with them. she also plays with the strings of her hoodie/loose threads etc.

*playing basketball* “this one’s for you babe” *completely misses*

such a nerd for collectibles!! has been since she was a kid. she has funko pops, vinyls, pokemon cards, snowglobes, plushies, smiskis, calico critters she’s a slave to capitalism

little social media presence. her only instagram account is basically a photo dump which is private with only her closest friends following it. (spoiler alert, most of the pictures are of the two of you)

in the last post i said she’s have a pet gecko but i also strongly believe joel would have a dog. could be a teeny tiny chihuahua or a fucking great dane idk just give my man a good friend! ellie also loves that dog (whatever it is) dearly

doesn’t have any piercings and doesn’t ever consider it unless you say that they’d look good on her… your word is her law FR 😭😭😂😂

okay no she’s not dependent on you to the point of it being toxic though. HOWEVER it’s a bit hard for her to express when she feels upset sometimes and gets jealous easily but she tries her best to communicate and keep it healthy

she has her tattoos though of course. although this is a modern au so she’d have different ones i guess… forearm one is definitely in the cards but also lots of tiny little ones. a few for her friends and family and a few she got in a drunken stupor

pottery lesbian that’s it

gets SOOO red when she’s drunk i dont care what anyone says her alcohol tolerance is average at best

i think she would play a sport sometimes. like volleyball. she plays competitively if she’s in school and she always wants you to come “watch your girlfriend be cool”. bring a sign - she’ll love it

kisses and hugs u after the game while she’s all sweaty too…ew but aw

she also really likes animated movies, not disney but like how to train your dragon and the spiderverse and puss in boots (im projecting). she went to see barbie and oppenheimer on the same day and she didn’t dress up but the spirit was there!!

she’s not a gymbro per se but joel probably would have workout equipment in the basement which ellie uses from time to time. and she’s just naturally lean because she’s an active person. pls tell her how big and strong and sexy and amazing she is

ok fine i think she likes being praised AND SHE DESERVES ITT like she’s such a wonderful girlfriend ❤️ ugh shes perfect I CANT STAND HER

goodnight and good morning texts are part of her routine

sunburns easily so you have to remind her to wear sunscreen all the time

doesn’t really know how to do makeup but she’ll paint your nails for you and do your hair

whenever the two of you spend the night together she’s usually last to get up. this bitch could sleep through the rapture i’m not kidding but it’s okay because it gives you time to admire her pretty face as she sleeps in peace and quiet for once

takes the aux very seriously you guys HAVE to share it. unless you like the same music and i think she would like radiohead, joy division, deftones and loser sad songs like that…. she also is a big fan of the spiderverse soundtrack and kendrick lamar though and thee stallion 😜 (i have two wolves inside me)

please reblog mwah thank you!!

[authorxxxxxx]

Based on this request . . .

Title : Chaotic

Pair : bayverse!optimus adoptive dad x human!gn reader

Summary : You and Optimus are going for a ride and you just can't stop thinking about how you ended up in this situation.

Tw : actually none , just pure fluff.

English isn't my first language so if you spot any mistakes just bare with me.

Ps. I finally published this after a week l and I'm so sorry that I was late. I hope you liked it. I personally loved it. I'm going to be out of town ( I don't know for how long ) because of some family issues. I will try to work on a new series that I was requested too.

I really tried. I hope it's good.

_______________________________________________________

He is so done with you.

He actually can not understand how you are so much energetic.

One minute you are quiet and peaceful -

and the all of a sudden you are going crazy and started doing all kinds of stuff.

At first you decided to clean the whole entire base , including the Transformers themselves.

That is how Optimus found himself - in this type of situation.

He is sitting on top of his berthroom , looking at you while your cleaning literally everything.

He looks at you and decides to give it another chance. " Are you certain that you do not need any help ? "

"Thanks again but no. I think I'm gonna go clean Ratchet's room again. " You say to him , but more to yourself.

To save you from trouble Optimus decided that the best option is to take you away from the base - maybe for ride.

Just to calm you down.

_____

This is how you found yourself sitting in his cabin at his alt - form driving in the night.

A podcast you both love is playing softly in the background.

You are in your peaceful state right now.

And you both knew why.

" it's quiet. I like it. " You said to Optimus , your head resting on his left window.

" How so ? " He asked you making you both laugh at his obvious joke about your personality.

" it's not funny. " You answered smiling.

When you reached your secret place , where Optimus could change into his real form , you both went quiet.

After a couple of minutes you broke the silence.

_____

" Do you remember the first time we met ? Wait - that was a stupid question - you remember everything. Anyways - back to what I was saying . . . I wanted you to know that I am so grateful that I was there that night. If I had said no to Sam to go out for a ride with Bee I wouldn't have met you. And do you remember when we first started to form our relationship? You are just like a father to me and I know it sounds strange , because your this - . . . You're just special you know ? " You said to him , trying to hold your smile back.

You didn't know if he was comfortable with that , but you really admired him and loved him as a father and you couldn't think about your life without him.

His silence made your stomach turn.

'I freaked him out. I fucked up. ' You thought to yourself.

"If you think that my silence after your confession is a bad thing , do not because it is not. I am grateful that you gathered the courage and tell me that you are happy that you've met me. Trust me all Autobots do. Even Ironhide - even though he doesn't show it much. But me ? Especially me ? I am extremely happy that you are inspired by me. You are a wonderful human being and we've learned so much from you. I'm proud to be considered your friend but I'm even more proud to consider you my daughter. " He answered making tears form in your eyes.

_____

You both remembered the moment. Hearts and sparks filled with love.

You loved your dad - even if he was a big , giant , tall machine.

Your dad loved you - even if you were a small but fierce human.

You knew everything about each other.

You told each other everything.

You were father and daughter.

You had an amazing bond.

" I love you dad. Even if your extremely bossy sometimes. " You said to him smiling.

"Well I have to be , considering that I have to deal with bots and humans like you. " He answered making you gasp and laugh.

"But I love you too. " He finally said to you.

You loved your dad and your dad loved you.

__________

Until next time . . . Enjoy summer : ]

@unimportantbabymilksharkte

[decapitatedrathead]

𐙚..Love Fool.. 𐙚

Zantetsu Tsurugi x gn!reader

♡!A/N!♡: I'm writing after a whole YEAR (since I kinda...like...deleted all of my fics) but hey, a start is best when it's fresh

Hence why I have to start with one of my favorite idiots; Zantetsu

♡!TW!♡: grammar errors? Idk I'm as dumb as him. otherwise none! Just fluff! I tried to keep it gn, plsss tell me if there's an error abt ittt

You never really understood how you got the patience and nerves to put up with him, since...he's been seriously getting on your nerves by how... STUPID he is and can get

But..who wouldn't be when he couldn't understand basic math?

"So, do I just multiple this? Or..."

What did he mean by or ! There's a fricking × sign there...

"....Tsurugi..it's literally just 5×7-0,47. That's all you have to do."

He looked at his paper dumbfounded, then back at his notebook...then back at his paper before finally looking up at you...yeah he definitely didn't understand what you just said......

"Uh..can you say that again in a more....dumbed down way?"

Sometimes you wonder why you agreed to tutor him...

"...Tsu...what's 5×7..?"

He blinks for a few second...then he frowns as he thinks, then hesitantly answers.

"Uh...35...?"

Wow....the moron got something right for once, maybe cause you were about to beat him up the last time you were tutoring him and teaching him basic multiplication.

"Did you REALLY have to think for that long to answer what's 3×7...?"

"Hey!- I'm not good at math ok?-"

He huffed before going, surprisingly, silent...it was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke up again.

"...So what's 35-0,47 then?"

"You're not good at using your brain....and it's 34,53."

It was amusing how he stared at you dumbfounded for a few moments, before he looked at his notebook to check it himself. Surprise, surprise, you were right. Yet he was still dumbfounded by how easily you calculated that..

"H-how...did you do that so fast-?"

"It's grade school math at best, Tsurugi...."

After an overly dramatic groan....he put down his pencil, slouching back in his seat.

"Hey, not everyone can be a brainiac like you, y'know.."

"I'm not a braniac...I also struggle with big equations......"

With a scoff, you simply crossed your arms and looked at him..almost in a judging way

Probably judging how stupid he is

Yet... you wouldn't know how much he liked and adored the way you crossed your arms to look serious...

"....but that's like a...whole new world for you."

He rolled his eyes and lightly slapped your arm in retaliation, pouting like a 4 year old...

"Ha-ha hilarious ...not my responsibility to be good with math, I'm good with football-"

"How will football help in math or English?"

"I...I-"

He was at a loss for words...he didn't have a good comeback for that one. So he let out another frustrated groan before crossing his arms and pouting once more

"...shut up!...not my fault I'm good with sports and not good with words..."

A snort escaped out of your nose...and they way you grinned at him in that smartassed way..

"You're dumb, that's that. And I won't be mellifluous about it."

"I....am not dumb!- I just-"

Surprisingly, he let out another groan, frustrated at himself and the situation.

"And stop using your big words...I have no idea what you're saying-"

"Aaaah right right, I do solemnly apologise for using such a profound vocabulary on my dearest companion."

He put his face in his hands, groaning in frustration again, then took a few seconds to try and process what you just said before looking back up at you with his brows furrowed.

"Now you're just doing it on purpose..."

"Of course I'm doing it on purpose... you're stupid."

His eye..twitched in annoyance. So he leaned forward, resting his arms on the table as he stared at you with a frustrated but firm expression.

"Hey! I am not stupid, I'm just...not as smart when it comes to words and math and stuff...I'm good at football- at least..."

Then he leaned on to the table, his chin propped on his palm..

"..at least that's what I like to think."

That's when you chuckled... stood up, and took your school bag off the library table

"How about we pack up and finish tomorrow..? I don't want your little brain to fry.."

And with a genuine smile....you leaned down and kissed his cheek....

"See ya, Tsurugi...."

He didn't even have time to register that you left after that stunt you pulled

You left him...flabbergasted...brain short-circuiting when he whipped his head in your direction

Just to see you leave the school library...

Sure, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he could admit he was whipped for you

Oh my goodness gracious! Idk why, but it kinda feels nice to be backkk

~Posted on July 3rd, 2024~

[hornedstorys]

Bay! Michelangelo x reader - just a One Night Stand? Part 2 - nsfw/sfw

Let's go with the second part! - Part 1

Warnings: smut, sfw, drunk men getting their faces punched (ง︡'-'︠)ง - English is not my native language

Content: After that one night, you avoided Mikey and didn't go back to the cave, but the boys and April aren't stupid. Mikey is acting strangely and you don't show your face anymore. But the longing is stronger and love always wins in the end, right?

German Version

Your eyes stared at the ceiling and a deep breath escaped your lungs. It had now been three days since Mikey and you had that…, yeah what was it? It was just a one night stand…. . You sigh. The thought of that night gave you goose bumps and you just couldn't forget it. The way he had touched you, the way he had felt inside you. And at the same time, he had made you feel so safe, but it wasn't right. He was your best friend and you didn't want to jeopardize the friendship.

But you still had sex. Friends don't have sex together. But what were your feelings towards him? You never really thought about it, it was Mikey, your best friend, nothing more. Yet it was far too easy for you to give in to him and let him touch you. Did you feel something for him? Or was it just the excitement of experiencing something new? After all, he wasn't human, he was a mutant. He was so different from the guys you'd met. He was… better.

He made you laugh, all the time. He treated you with care and had always treated you with respect and love. You were sometimes up all night reading comics or watching movies. You also liked to play tricks on Raphael. You used to run away laughing and sometimes Mikey would pull your leg because you were too slow. He taught you how to skateboard, you weren't very good at it, but you had a lot of fun.

You had to grin when you thought about it. Then it went through you and your fingers went to your lips and your heart beat faster and you felt queasy. You had to grin when you thought about him and he made your heart beat faster. Were you really in love with him?

But you couldn't face him. Maybe you had already broken something, you wouldn't even know what to say to him… .

Mikey was no different. He was on patrol with his brothers, but he wasn't quite on the ball. Suddenly he heard a giggle and he snapped to attention, his gaze following a group of young women, but disappointment flooded through him. For a moment he had thought you were with them, but of course not. You hadn't been with them for days and he had missed you.

Of course, his brothers hadn't missed it and they wanted to know what had happened between you two, but Mikey just dodged the question and pretended not to know. But he knew, and he knew he wanted to see you again.

"Mikey, boy what's up?" Raphael asked, and Mikey backed away and gave him a fake grin.

"It's all good Dude! I'm just on pizza withdrawal," Mikey raised his hands and continued to grin. Damn it was exhausting. Raphael just raised a brow and didn't really look impressed.

"Pizza withdrawal? Or rather (y/n) withdrawal?" Raph continued, playing around with his toothpick. Mikey tensed involuntarily at these words.

"What happened between you two?" Donnie asked and Mikey gritted his teeth and rubbed his face. He didn't want to talk to his brothers. It was one of the few moments when he really didn't feel like talking and he felt so weird about it himself. He almost didn't recognize himself anymore.

Then the boys' eyes widened and they realized.

"You had something?! You? With her? Our little brother?!" Raphael sounded almost mocking and Mikey gave him an annoyed look. Of course Raphael made fun of him, "No wonder you wanted to stay home a few days ago, so that's your definition of being sick."

"It was a one-time thing!" Mikey snorted back and Raph snorted in amusement.

"Mikey. I don't rate you like you're the type for a one-time thing. Do you have feelings for (y/n)?"

That question slammed against Michelangelo's mind and he swallowed. Did he feel something for you? He licked his dry lips and his head buzzed.

"Guys, stop it now!" said Leo, who had been watching from the side, "we're still on patrol and I'm asking you to concentrate." But Mikey couldn't concentrate any more. He was thinking about the feelings he had towards you.

And he missed you… a lot. After that, he wanted to say something important to you, but you interrupted him. It was just a one-night stand, but for him it was more. He slowly had to admit to himself that he liked you more than just as a friend. He had enjoyed that moment with you so much and it was tearing him apart.

Suddenly he recognized a figure strolling through the streets of the city. His pulse quickened and his eyes widened. It was you. But what were you doing out here alone at this time of night?

April had been bombarding you with questions the whole time and wanted to know what was going on. You were almost bursting at the seams, but April couldn't know what was going on inside you and that you had slept with Mikey. So you promised her you'd come over and you could talk about it. Maybe she could help you, you were looking for a shoulder to lean on. Even if you preferred to have someone special with you.

You grabbed your jacket and set off. You wanted to get from A to B quickly, because New York wasn't exactly pleasant at this time of night. And as if the devil himself had heard what you had said, he sent you a group of men staggering out of a side bar. Great.

Your heart skipped a beat and you immediately started walking faster, but of course they noticed you like hungry wolves and followed.

"Hey girl!" the first one shouted, but you ignored him, not wanting to give him any attention. Your feet carried you further and further, faster and faster. You wanted to reach for your cell phone, but of course you had forgotten it. You grunted, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

"Come on, little girl, stop!" the second man shouted and you tried not to let that voice get through you. You turned into the next street, but it was a dead end. Damn!

You stood in front of the high wall like a wild animal in a trap until you heard footsteps. They were here. You were grabbed roughly by the wrist and you fought back with every fiber of your body. But it was as if you were trying to move a rock.

"Let go of me!" you screamed, but you were just laughed at. You were in such a state of shock that you didn't notice the large shadow that landed behind the guy holding you until it was too late.

"You heard the lady, she doesn't want this," the voice sounded menacingly low and your eyes widened as you recognized him. With a firm jerk, the drunken man was pulled away from you and thrown against the nearest house wall.

Mikey drew his gun and then it was the other guys' turn and no one was spared. They all took the brunt of the ninja's rage, controlling his emotions the whole time.

You slumped on the ground and watched him chase the last man out of the alley, bruised and battered. Then you felt a rough, warm hand on your cheek and your eyes were caught by his.

"Michelangelo," you whisper and his lips curled at the mention of his full name.

"Hello, bella," he breathes and the next moment he picked you up in his arms and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Your eyes never parted.

"I kind of have déjà vu," he suddenly grinned, but the worry in his eyes didn't disappear. He was right, you were in the same situation the first time you met, when he rescued you. You grinned at him too, but tears gathered in your eyes. Gently, Mikey wiped the tears from your cheeks and wrapped you in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Mikey," you sniffled and his brows drew together in confusion.

"I broke our friendship," you breathed, tears streaming down your cheeks again. Mikey's eyes widened and he immediately shook his head.

"Bella, you didn't break anything," he gave you a soft kiss on your wet cheek, you blushed.

"But that night… I…, it…-" you couldn't get a clear thought and didn't know how to express your words. Mikey sighed and took your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

"(Y/n), I haven't regretted a second of it and I would do it again and again and I wouldn't regret it once. I… I think I fell in love with you and I only really realized it the last few days," he breathed and your mouth opened subconsciously and you stared at him with wide eyes.

"You love me?" you whispered and he nodded.

"I wanted to talk to you about it earlier, but you interrupted me before I could say a word and I didn't want to jeopardize the friendship either," he explained. You looked at him speechlessly and suddenly you were overcome with emotion. You grabbed his head and pressed your lips hungrily to his, he moaned into the kiss and his tongue parted your lips longingly. It was only a few days that you had no contact, but it was just too long.

"Let's get out of here, bella. Before my brothers get any ideas about coming here," he grinned teasingly and your cheeks started to burn. He walked you to your apartment, you'd already messaged April about why you couldn't come and you knew you had a long talk ahead of you the next time you met her and the boys.

Carefully, Mikey let you down, but his big hands were still on your hips. He didn't want to let you go and neither did you. Then his lips crashed against yours and he pulled you tight against his breastplate, you could feel his every muscle through your top and you wanted to feel more of him.

It wasn't long before you were both lying naked and making out in your bed and thank God your bed hadn't collapsed… yet.

Almost impatiently, Mikey penetrated you and elicited a delighted gasp. You didn't care if you came today, you just wanted to feel him and have him with you. He was so close to you, but it wasn't close enough. A gasp escaped his mouth as you clung to him tighter and clawed into his back. With one hand, he held tightly to your ass and pushed himself deep inside you. With the other hand, he held on to the headboard of the bed and it was already starting to crack with the force he was exerting.

But you didn't care, the only thing that mattered was you and this moment. His lips caressed your upper body and you explored it too. Your hands gripped his broad biceps and squeezed, the touch of his hips against you making you dizzy.

"I love you, (Y/n)," Mikey gasped, his baby blue eyes catching yours. There was so much passion, longing and love in them that it hurt.

"I love you too, Michelangelo!"

This drove Mikey out of his mind and his movements became faster and faster, his muscles tensed and the next moment he tore the headboard in two and the bed broke.

Gasping, you looked into each other's eyes. There was a huge grin on Mikey's face. There he was again, the prankster, your prankster.

"It's going to be a long night, bella."

[thickenmyblood]

Hi Maca, I hope you can answer my question about Damen’s previous love-sex life before Laurent.

I remember, there is this paragraph where is revealed that Damen came out while he was in college but only is reveled that he likes men, nothing specific about his sex experiences or anything.

“…He never really told them he liked men, the way Damen did, simply making out with a first-year guy in one of those college parties Nikandros used to drag them to. They had all thought it was a one-time thing, that it was the alcohol and the excitement of having passed his exams. Apparently, they were wrong.”

And now in chapter 19 I think its revealed that Damen was clueless or so ignorant about Laurents habits and whatever related to sex with men, and that make wonder if you could explain or give more details about Damen previous experiences.

I know you have stated in the same chapter these lines.

“He always has, ever since he got that first handjob halfway into being fourteen, through all the awkward and quick first times, through all the new awkward and quick first times with guys...”

but it seems that he was not very experienced and only had “firsts times.” with no further experiences to gain more understandings or to learn the basics mechanics.

Maybe I’m misinterpreting the paragraphs since English is not my native language, if that’s the case, please forgive, because you are a terrific writer, and the mistake is mine.

Any way thanks for your time and one more question, the books that Damen had read to understand Laurents and Nicaise behavior and trauma really exists or are based in real ones…

Thanks again for your time. And thanks for this fiction it’s really well written, engaging, you have the ability to capture your reader's emotions and imagination.

Ju_Katze.

hello!!! sorry for the late reply.

in hiuh, damen has had sex with men before laurent, but as you pointed out they were all "first times" in the sense that it was just hooking up (also, that quote is referencing things like "first time getting a blowjob from a guy, first time giving head yourself, first time fucking a guy".) you don't necessarily talk to a one-night stand about things like douching or prepping or the weird and toxic culture around not eating pre-sex that some people participate in. damen isn't stupid, but he is oblivious and ignorant about many things in this fic, and he doesn't really notice things (anything?) that escape the bubble of his comfort and experience (other examples include "the help" or waiters at restaurants and coffee shops, mental health issues, health issues in general like IBS or Celiac's, etc.)

additionally, you could use this bit of backstory to read how and why damen dating laurent was such a fundamental shift in his life and, especially, his friendships. we know nikandros has never liked laurent, and we know why, but it's also possible that nikandros and the entire friend group (aktis and elon, specifically) were not exactly bothered by damen "coming out" as bi because they saw it as a phase or as a sex-only thing. having casual sex with men is not the same as being in a committed relationship with one. which is why when laurent and damen break up, nikandros's options for damen are always women. i also think it's interesting that damen only considered dating a man seriously after his father was dead.

as for details about damen's previous experiences, they're not part of the story so they're not "canon", but I always imagined hiuh damen to be, essentially, a fuckboy (affectionate). he likes sex, he likes boys and girls, he likes other people knowing that he's good at things (and that includes sex). i like the idea that he started having sex when he was young (14) but that unlike what happened to laurent, it wasn't traumatic or weird or bad. that's why I liked the phrase "awkward and quick first times". that's usually the case with first times: you don't know what you're doing, sometimes there's sneaking around involved so you have to be quick about it, you're excited so it is quick, etc. it's my personal headcanon that his previous partners have always been "discreet" in the way laurent is, which speaks more about damen's toxic masculinity than his real personal taste. even if it was just a one night stand, he could never fuck someone like ancel, who wears "more feminine" clothes, does his nails, is into makeup, is more open and vocal about his queerness, etc.

about the self-help books: i'd say 99% of them are not real, but they are based on real books that you can find online. i read the body keeps the score (very problematic) and a bunch of others (like, a few pages of healing the shame that binds you) but ultimately decided it was better to just stick to original things.

i hope this cleared things up for you!!! thank you for the cool questions!! and congrats on your english, it's very good!