#and then the worst one after dinner saying goodbye some guys start yelling shit at me from their car about my wheelchair

[clementiens]

ughh

[oreharuuu]

To be One (3)

Summary: Avoiding the game went well for you for a few days. But a talk with a friend might change that decision for the better or worst

Warnings: none

A/N: woop woop! Part 3 y'all, hope you like it! I had fun writing this chapter so it's longer than usual. A few of the accounts i can't tag for some reason so im really sorry T-T

Tag list:

@atinytinaa @hoeranghae1117 @yoongiigolden @canadagoose-monbebe @hwal0v3r @kirooz @dream-in-progress @cara-18 @tr3asureyou @babygurl-hoshi @svn-ways2hvn @kpoplover17 @drunk-on-hwa @stopeatread @starillusion13 @honeyymon @potatoe-life @callmesoltera @kuleo26 @lino-se @darkfairy102190 @seongwin

For the past few days, you're trying your best on ignoring the game with work and socializing. Sure you may not be the most social person ever, but you do have friends.

At the end of the week, Irene and Seulgi invited you to brunch near their workplace. Wendy and Joy were too busy so it's only you three.

The anomaly however was Yeri didn't show up.

Hell she didn't even reply to your message when the incident with Hwayoung happened.

You debated whether or not to ask Irene or Seulgi, but your curiosity won over as you cleared your throat before looking at the two.

"So," You started. "Have you guys seen Yeri? Or... talked with her?"

Irene chewed on her croissant as she shook her head, while Seulgi frowned. "Yeri? No updates on her, but Wendy did say that she's busy with work right now so it's probably why she hasn't been active on social media."

"Or replying to your texts," Irene continued. "I invited her to join me for dinner a few days ago but no answer. So she must be really busy."

"Yeah. Probably because of the new game her company's about to launch."

"Give her some space," Seulgi shrugged. "She's always like this when she's in the zone. Remember last time when she blew up on Joy when she spammed her during a meeting."

You grimaced at the memory, remembering how big the fight was that it made Joy and Yeri didn't talk for a month.

"Believe me, I do not want to relieve that experience," Irene sighed.

Soon the conversation shifted from Yeri, from work to relationship problems; you're glad it's taking your mind off the game and Yeri for a while. Irene said goodbyes first when her manager called her, cursing under her breath making you both laugh in amusement. Seulgi left after an hour, promising to take you and Yeri out for drinks when you all have the time.

Walking back to your apartment, you bought some snacks to eat when you're working. Thankfully the project did wonders to your company, so you're only working light tasks with your coworkers whilst waiting for an update from your supervisor.

"—Yeah! And then she stupidly asked me if I still love her?! Ugh, as if!"

You laughed at what your coworker, Yeonjun, outbursts along with another one, Soobin. Both were also in your team when developing the project, and you got along pretty well so sometimes you liked to call them or have zoom meetings together to spend some time.

"Hmm, told you she was delulu. It's like she's in her own fantasy land that she created," Soobin hums as typing could be heard from his side.

"Yeah," You agreed. "Remember when she visited our work to state she's the new intern? Holy shit was that a fiasco."

Soobin laughed even louder as Yeonjun could only groan. "Man, how could I forget that? Supervisor Kim blasted my ear from having him yell at me for hours."

"Not hours," You and Soobin replied together. "It's only like, five minutes," Soobin continued.

"Felt like hours," He grumbled.

Doing your work whilst talking to them made the bad thoughts go away, especially one residing on the corner of your computer, but you ignored it. What you can't ignore is how your computer likes to glitch and freeze when you're working.

Well, not your computer perse, but the programs you're currently running likes to have problems when before that it's totally fine.

"What the—Are you kidding me?" You hissed as Photoshop didn't respond, making you groan as you slumped down on your chair.

"What? What's wrong?"

"My Photoshop is acting up," You whined.

"Ha! What're you doing on Photoshop anyway?"

"Making your ass even more uglier," You grumbled towards Yeonjun, who squaked in offense.

"Awesome. Can you send that to me after you finished it?" Soobin asked as the both of you ignored Yeonjun's yelling.

"Sure. Maybe I'll finish it today since I've finished my part of the work."

"Wait!" Yeonjun yelled. "You're finished making the poster and banner? You've already sent it to Supervisor Kim?"

"Yup, a few hours ago. So relieved I actually finished it since my computer has been fighting me the whole time."

"Soobin! How about you?"

"Actually thanks for reminding me to email my work."

"Am I the only one who hasn't finished yet in the team?" Yeonjun gasped dramatically.

You hum teasingly, before remembering that he was the only one not finished yet. "Actually, yeah. Eunchae and Chaewon finished theirs already."

"Fuck!"

"Honestly, Yeonjun," Soobin teased. "We're only supposed to make posters and banners ideas for the next event. It's easy."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just say that I'm lazy and—"

Crackling noise from your headphones cut Yeonjun off, making you frown in confusion before clicking back at the call, noticing how it's still going but their voices have disappeared.

"Guys? Hello?"

No answer.

You shrugged before ending the call, whipping out your phone before texting both of them.

You: heyyoo seems like we got disconnected

Soobin: ???

Soobin: wdym

Yeonjun: (name) you're still on the call

You're heart dropped, tension started to rise in your body as you scrambled to text them back.

You: what?? I literally disconnected from the call like a minute ago

Yeonjun: well i mean...could be a lag? You're not talking

Soobin: let's just end the call

Soobin: wanna call again?

You huffed, glancing back at your computer. Shaking your head, you decided to decline his offer, stating that you need to check your computer first if you want it to work properly.

Yeonjun: aight, update us

Soobin: yeah and send me that picture of yeonjun

Yeonjun: TRAITOR

You let out a small smile, sighing in relief because of their antics. You decided to restart your computer, of course after you saved the photoshopped image of Yeonjun. After it turned on, you checked numerous times if it's starting to lag or freeze as you open websites, tabs, or even applications.

Humming happily when you found none, you're startled when a call from Yeri rang from your phone. But the call ended before you could answer, making you stare at your phone in confusion. A text from Yeri seemed concerning enough for you to accept her offer.

Yeri <3: hey

Yeri <3: sorry for not answering

Yeri <3: can we call rn?

You sighed heavily at the reply, your heart easing at knowing that Yeri's actually alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere. Well, that's a hyperbole but you can't help but feel like that when your friends disappeared from the face of the earth.

Waiting for the call to load, you anxiously bit your lip as you waited for her. When Yeri's icon appeared, you quickly turned on your camera, waving sheepishly as you smiled.

"Hey—uh, do you mind turning on your cam? If you don't want to, that's fine! No pressure."

You're only met with silence, but you waited patiently for Yeri to answer.

"Yeah, hold on."

Shuffling could be heard from Yeri's end, before you heard Yeri move around stuff around her desk. She did had a lot of clutter, but the sounds coming from the call seems excessive. You frown hearing plastic water bottles and what you assume to be cans of energy drink fell down, making Yeri curse loudly.

Yeri finally turned on her camera but you realized why she's so hesitant on turning it on in the first place. It's dark in her room, the only light present is from her own computer.

Boy, did she look like a wreck.

Eyebags deep enough to give a hint that she didn't slept for almost a week, hair disheveled like she didn't brush it everyday, her room being a mess like a bomb was dropped.

"Yeri," You whispered. "What happened?"

Yeri looked away as she bit on her thumb, shaking her head as she sniffed. Her eyes glisten with tears as she gasped before looking back at the camera. "I—I tried, I'm working on the game. Alone! My team disappeared when I needed them, and now they're gone!"

You're eyes widen, jaw slack as confusion started to plague your mind. "Disappear? Like, Johnny?"

"Yes! I don't—I don't know where they are right now. I've tried texting them, I've called them, zero! Zero answers! The company's launching an investigation about where my team went, why I'm the only one left!"

You flinched at her voice, sounding loud and angry yet so small. It's obvious it's taken a toll on her, yet you can't do anything except listen to her and try to support her in the best way you can.

"And get this," Yeri laughed maniacally. "The company still wants to me work on the game, alone! Can you fucking believe that shit? They're trying to find people who wants to work on the game but noo they're too busy gossiping about how Yeri's a whore, Yeri's a bitch! We can't work with her because she's too difficult!"

You frowned, yet confused at what she's saying. Yeri seems happy working there, everytime you went out for lunch or dinner she always praises how her company is so good and caring towards their employees, that even Wendy and Seulgi are complaining about how unfair it is.

"Yeri? Hey, what do you mean by that?" You asked gently, trying to calm her down as she's only one second from a mental breakdown. That seems to shut her up, her mouth agape yet no voice comes out, before she's quickly wiping her tears away. You sighed before leaning back on your chair, deciding to not push Yeri further out of her comfort zone. It seems like she's having a hard time, but you don't want to force her.

"No—no, forget about that. Let's just talk, I need your help."

"My help?"

Yeri nodded. "I need you to continue to play the demo game, (name)."

Your heart dropped to the ground, coughing to hide your uneasiness from Yeri. You did sent her the list of glitches, even so far as telling her you don't want to continue playing the game after the last incident. But now you're conflicted.

"I—I know you're hesitant to play it, but I've tried to fix the game as best as I can! Your feedback is actually helping me make things right, and I'm really grateful. But now that I'm the only one working on the game, I can't talk to others people about it to make it good."

Man, she really does know how to pull your heartstrings.

"So...can you play it again, (name)?"

You glanced nervously at Yeri, playing with your fingers as you're having a debate inside your head on what to do.

"Can't you just...send the demo to Wendy or Seulgi? I'm sure they'll be happy to play it. I mean more feedbacks are better, right?" You offered.

Yeri shook her head adamantly, her shoulders tense as she continued. "No! I can't, if the company knows I'm giving the demo to people then I'll be fired. It's supposed to be confidential and I broke the agreement when I gave you that demo."

You groaned, holding your head between your hands. Of course it's not that easy, you didn't even think about the consequences you'll receive when playing a game that's not even released yet. Taking a deep breath, you looked at Yeri before nodding.

"Alright, I'll do it."

You're hoping the game isn't so bad after she fixed it.

♡

Pacing around in your room was not a good thing to do, especially to ease your nerves before playing that damn game. It's already loaded, the cutesy theme song playing in the background as you're having a breakdown before you play it. Yeonjun and Soobin invited you to go have drinks together, but you lied, saying you were busy hanging out with your family.

You felt bad, seeing as they're actually close to you now, but they reassured you that you could always join them on their nightly movie nights next Friday.

You took a mental note, wanting to actually join them because everyone seemed busy with work and other things.

"Okay!" You yelled loudly, punching the air repeatedly before sitting down, clicking the start button as the game loads. "I can do this! I'm not a pussy!"

Day 3

"Shit, it's only day three?!" You hissed.

Not having any time to complain, the game loads you to your dorm, reminding you to take classes to earn more coins and items. Everything seems...fine. Then again, you just started the game, so you're expecting a jumpscare midway playing the game.

Cautiously clicking from classroom to classroom, the task of doing mini games kinda made you relaxed. You're still tense, waiting for Hwayoung specifically to jump and surprise you.

But that didn't happen.

Instead, you're greeted with a new face, well two exactly.

A boy so tall that he could rival Mingi's or Yunho's height, with slicked back brown hair and an easygoing smile. Next to him is a girl you thought is an AI character, straight long black hair with a beauty mark under her mouth.

"Hey, fresh meat!"

The boy's deep voice boomed through your speaker, making you wince as you turned down the volume.

"Did you see a cat nearby? White with black spots and a purple collar?"

You, of course, wanted answered no. Thinking an option will show up, you're surprised the text box from Yunho's encounter popped up, making your hands hover on top of your keyboard instantly to type a response.

No, sorry. I didn't see any cat, just got here |

"Damn, good luck finding it, Karina."

"Oh shut up, Johnny!"

Johnny? Named after Yeri's friend who disappeared? You push the thought away, thinking of it as a coincidence. You've never even see the guy, why act so worried?

"Really sorry to bother you. My name is Karina, this is Johnny. If you see a cat with the same description please call us! We can't let the principal know."

No worries, but why can't the principal know? |

"Because the principal is a loser who doesn't like animals, so he'll call animal control to solve the problem."

"Johnny! Shut up or Seonghwa and Hongjoong will hear you!"

You hummed, curious as to why both of them are mentioned.

Why so scared? I think Seonghwa and Hongjoong are nice people |

"Oh, no one's denying that they're nice. They're just...very strict around what to do here."

"Rules are rules, and for them everyone has to follow it. If not you'll end up like—"

Johnny didn't get to finish his sentence before the game glitches out again, making both of them freeze as Johnny's voice paused every now and then. You anticipated this, trying to hope that nothing scary happened. Thankfully nothing did, as Johnny only continued as if nothing happened. Like his dialogue was cut.

"—Yeah, good guys. But really scary when someone's not up to standards. Well their standards."

You could see Karina rolling her eyes, making you giggle at their cute interaction.

"Whatever. It's nice meeting you, new kid. If you ever want to hangout with us, find us at the club rooms."

Sure! I'll be happy to come by |

"Great! Bye then, (name)."

"Peace out!"

There's the feeling of relief bubbling inside you, the interaction between Johnny and Karina made you a bit relaxed to face off any of the boys right now. Heaving a big sigh, you continued to play mini games and looking around the school.

Not encountering any of the boys, you suck up your fear as you debated who to meet first.

"Maybe I'll meet Yeosang first. I haven't seen him after the first encounter."

Confused as to which place you're visiting first, you picked the library, seeing as you've never actually visited the location before.

Surprise, surprise, Yeosang was actually already there. Surprisingly enough, he's smiling in your direction.

As if he's been waiting for you.

But you brushed it off as a coincidence. Yeosang's character beamed happily when he sees you, waving his hand as he tried to be quiet.

The scene changed as now you're sitting besides him near the window, the light perfectly illuminating his face, making him even more angelic.

"Hey, haven't seen you in a while. You okay?"

The text box popped up again, making you assume that maybe the system could change after a certain encounter. Changing from options to actually typing out the response. Then again, it's really impressive at how fast and human-like the response from the characters are, sometimes even fast enough to make you believe you're actually talking to a human.

Yeah, just...got busy with personal things |

"Well, that won't do. You're new here, relax for a bit. It's not like you have other stuff occupying your life."

You felt like it's a jab to your own real life, but you shrugged it off.

"Anyway, I realized we haven't spend that much time together. So, I was wondering if you want to stay here with me? I wasn't really studying, just wanted some alone time."

Alone time? Then am I intruding? |

"Nonsense, I'm inviting you right now. So, do you accept?"

Of course you agreed, wanting to increase your relationship with him since his percentage was still pretty low when you started. Maybe you'll meet San after this, remembering how the last time the heart didn't pop up for him.

Sure! I have nothing to do anyway |

For the next few minutes, you and Yeosang talked about vague topics, favorite foods, favorite animals; harmless stuff. But every now and then, you had a feeling that a few of the questions are very...weird and invasive.

"Where do you like to spend time out of school?"

"Have you ever dated before?"

"Do you like to sleep with stuffed animals?"

The last question made you glance at a few of the dolls on your bed, before lying to him since your real life persona should be different than the one inside the game.

"Hmm, interesting."

Was Yeosang's only answer before going back to innocent questions like before. The change of questions made your head dizzy as you're typing out what answers would suffice since you don't want to tell things in your real private life.

Yeosang stopped talking after the thirtieth question, seemingly frozen before smiling softly at you. You noticed how his eyes turned blank with no emotions before switching it up in the last second.

"Well, look at the time. I have a meeting with Hongjoong about club developments, so I guess this is goodbye."

No worries, Yeosang. I had a great time with you |

The heart finally popped up on top of his head, you predicting the percentage would at least be more than five percent, but the final number made you tilt your head in confusion.

37%

"Holy shit," You gawked. "From 2% to 37%?! That's wild."

As you're looking directly at the numbers, you didn't notice how Yeosang's eyes shifted away from you, lookinv around as if he could see the room your in. His face still smiling, before his eyes shifted back to you when he noticed you finally snapping out of your daze.

"I'll go now, (name). Goodbye."

With that, Yeosang was gone from the screen, leaving you with an empty screen. Remembering where exactly to meet San, you choose the gym as the next place. The only reason you chose that location is because of how buff he looks under his uniform.

"Can't believe I made that assumption just because of how broad his shoulders are," You grumbled.

Lo and behold, San was actually there. At first you thought he meant the school's gym, as in for sports and other school activities. But your mind is blown away when you notice an actual gym near the school area. And God must be somewhere laughing maniacally to himself as you saw how San is basically drenched in sweat, making the flimsy material of his top clung to his body like a second skin.

"(Name)! Hey, what's up?"

San smiled so brightly that you physically have to look away as if the sun just hits your eyes. "Focus, (name)! Don't be tempted by his cute smile!"

Hi, San! Nothing much, I have nothing to do so I was strolling around. I didn't know there's two gym's, what's up with that? |

"Oh! Yeah, I guess the school wanted to blow some of the money that they have, plus a lot of the students here wanted a real gym of sorts."

Still, pretty fancy for a school to have like two gyms |

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Time passed as you continued to have a conversation with San, having a great time as he's always so energetic and fun to be around with. Suddenly remembering of the items you have in your inventory, you decided to use it to San since the heart didn't pop up for him.

Hey, San! I have a gift for you |

It seems like San didn't expect you to say that to him, as his face turned bright red before he smiled sheepishly.

"A gift? You didn't have too!"

You clicked on your inventory, deciding on the cute teddy bear you got on your first day. Dragging the item from your bag, you placed it on San's character, resulting in him smiling widely as he now holds the teddy bear in his hands.

"A teddy bear! How cute, it even has a little bow. Thank you so much, (name)."

Suddenly the heart popped up, squinting your eyes to look closely as the percentage was shown to you.

58%

You let out a shocked laughter. "Damn, I didn't know the items were that helpful." You're conflicted whether or not the items were actually helping that much, or it's just the glitch happening again. In the end, your objective to raise your relationship status with San was already done.

"Um, (name)? Even though you're new here, I feel like you're perfect here. Like...you're the missing puzzle piece."

Weird thing to say after receiving a gift, but you'll go with it.

Come on, I'm not that important for you to call me a missing puzzle piece |

You noticed the pout on San's face, yet you saw how his face darkens for a second, as if your words annoyed him.

"Don't say that! A lot of us say that you're perfect! Even though you feel so far away, there's always a chance you'll be much, much closer to us."

"And it's starting," You groaned. Did the creepy dialogue really had to be amped up after Yeosang? It's as if the game knows these things scare and annoy you at the same time. But curiosity did peek out of your mind, wanting to know why exactly San phrased it that way.

What do you mean far? I'm right here |

"You know what I mean, (name)."

No? I really don't, it's like your saying I'm not physically here when I am |

"It's...complicated. I'm not supposed to even talk to you about this or Hongjoong will get mad. Just know that we're always here for you, and I really do hope in the future, we could be together."

You really do wanted his words to affect you as much as he intended too, but you're still creeped out by his choice of words that you can't help but grimace at the thought. There's a frown on your face as you noticed San looking quiet sad, almost changing from his hopeful expression.

What's wrong? |

"Nothing—just that, you seemed hesitant to be here with us."

Your frown deepened when he said that, as if he could look through your computer screen to see the facial expressions you pull. You glanced away for a while, head disappearing yet your eyes are still looking at him.

You might be hallucinating, but you really thought San's eyes seems to follow your every move, his eyes now off to the side where you disappeared. He's still standing like usual, but you noticed how his eyes are silently trained onto you.

Creepy.

Suddenly, you wanted to prove a theory that just popped up inside your head, actually thinking you're slowly loosing your mind over this game.

You silently grabbed your phone, pretending to scroll for a few seconds as you discreetly tried to look back and forth between San and your phone. Nothing suspicious happens, just that San's pout deepened as seconds passed by.

You needed proof. Especially considering what Yeosang said to you earlier.

You pressed Soobin's phone number, turning it on speaker as you waited. You acted nonchalant, tapping your fingers on the table whilst you still glanced at the screen. San's pout was gone, only replaced by a confused stare as he stands there.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Soobin! What's up?"

"Eh, not much. Why you callin?"

"Actually," You moved away, now sitting on your bed. "I wanted to invite you guys to my apartment! Maybe a movie night, you know?" You continued, voice loud enough so your target could still hear the conversation.

"Really? That would be awesome! I gotta ask Yeonjun first though, I don't know if he has plans or not."

You glanced at your computer screen, noticing San now looks tense and furious as he only stands there, as if he's forced to listen.

The change of emotions are really weird, since you haven't touched the game since your call. But you continued, wanting to see what happens.

"That's alright. We could have movie night next Friday, you could stay at my apartment."

"Ooh, like a sleepover!"

You laughed at his enthusiasm, "Yeah, basically like a sleepover."

The conversation continued on, before Soobin excused himself as he wanted to meet his friend in a few hours. Bidding goodbye, you ended the call, walking to your chair before sitting down.

You hummed to yourself, placing down your phone on the table as you typed your reply.

You're acting really weird, San |

You looked at him, hiding your wince as San's face didn't hold his signature dimpled smile. His eyes holds a certain anger, his jaw clenched in annoyance as his hands turned into fists.

"Why did you do that?"

His voice came out gruff, as if he's holding back a growl coming out of his throat. You decided to play innocent, tilting your head in confusion before typing back.

Do what? I just stood here, talking to you |

"(Name), please, don't do that. It hurts us when you do these kinds of things without thinking about our feelings."

A scoff came out of your mouth before you could stop it, feeling annoyed now.

Jeez, I didn't do anything! What are you guys even talking about? |

"Inviting those—"

You waited and waited for him to continue, but nothing happened. The sounds of crackling came out of your speaker for a few minutes, before it stopped. You saw San's desperate face still on your screen, pursing his lips as he looked away. You're wondering what's going on until Hongjoong appeared, smiling as he now stands next to San.

"Hello there, (name)! Funny meeting you here."

Thought you had a meeting with Yeosang about club developments? |

He seems surprised at how blunt you are, but his smile turned into a smug one as he placed a hand on San's shoulder.

"Ah, that. We're already done talking. Seonghwa is handling it now, so I wanted to grab San for a few minutes to...talk."

You frown, already feeling suspicious about how sudden Hongjoong appeared.

"But, hyung! I was—"

"We need to have a talk, San. The others are already waiting for us."

You grimaced at his tone, already feeling uncomfortable at how scary Hongjoong was now.

You guys should go, I need to meet with a few friends anyway |

"What friends—"

"San!"

You jump in surprise, eyes wide at Hongjoong's outburst. San closed his mouth before glaring at Hongjoong, to which the latter only glared back. They seemed to be having a conversation only with their eyes, the tense silence made you uneasy before it broke when San spoke first.

"Bye, (name)."

Yeah...bye |

In a matter of seconds, both if them disappeared from your screen. You groaned loudly at the headache forming inside your head, massaging your head as you closed your eyes.

"Can't this game be normal for one day?"

You quickly continued on day 3, wanting it to end fast enough so you'll be done for today. When night comes, you hurriedly exited the game, closing it before turning off your computer. You sighed, standing up as you walked out of your room.

"I need a drink."

♡

"The coast is clear," Yunho sighed when he no longer felt your presence inside his body, his posture relaxing a little as he sat next to Mingi. "She's gone now."

"San, you almost crossed the line today."

"Almost? He acted way out of line for her to feel suspicious towards us!" Wooyoung screamed.

"Fuck you," San hissed. "Yeosang started first when he asked stupid questions."

"Oh, believe me, I know. I've already reprimanded him enough," Seonghwa darkly answers, crossing his arms as he stared at San. "Now, it's your turn."

"You all can't blame me!" San yelled, standing up from his seat as he slams the table with enough force. "You all heard her! She's inviting other people, other men, to her home!"

"No one's blaming you, hyung," Jongho sighed. "But we need to act normal after she didn't show up for so long. Do you want that to happen again?"

Jongho was only met with silence from San, who looked away as he shook his head. "No...I don't—we don't need that to happen again. I feel empty without her, I can't stand the emptiness. That's why I had to stop her!"

"We all do," Mingi shrugged. "But we have to be patient, especially if we want our plan to go well."

"I just," San sighed, slumping down to his seat. "I don't want her to be with anyone else besides us. We all felt the connection when her face showed up in our eyes. I want her to be here with us."

"We know, San," Hongjoong sighed. "It's not easy to only be able to watch her this way. So far yet so close. It's torture for only being able to see her for only a few hours, even minutes, for just one day."

"Thank God we're able to access her computer freely now," Wooyoung added. "Not interacting with her was torture. But I know I can't just watch her from a far in the long run, that's why we need to stick to our plan."

"Well, if we want to stick to the plan we can't just pinpoint and blame San here," Yeosang frowned. "All of the other trash needs to act as well."

Mingi and Yunho snorted at the way Wooyoung growled, slapping his back teasingly. "What? Got reminded of Hwayoung?"

"After the little stunt she pulled...I can't even be mad at Wooyoung for killing her," Seonghwa shrugged.

"Fuck her for scaring (name) like that! I can't believe she'll corrupt her own data like that," San growled, Wooyoung nodding along with him.

"Less trash to be bothered though, sounds good to me," Yeosang shrugged.

"We still need to keep an eye out on the new ones," Hongjoong hums, looking at a few folders on the table. The names are written on the cover, Hongjoong opening one of the folders, finding a picture of Hwayoung crossed out with a red marker. "They're a risk, but they were essential on pushing (name) back to playing the game."

"Pushing (name)? More like pushing her friend," Jongho laughed loudly, making the others smirk in union.

"Can't believe at how easy she complied to us."

"More like backstabbing. It's obvious she thinks her life is better than our darling," Yunho answered, the pet name slipping up from him making the others tease him.

"Can you blame her? We targeted her remaining friends," San hums. "Then again, she's really fucking stupid if she thinks we could make contact with anyone if they haven't played the game yet."

"Whatever, we'll deal with her later when our darling comes to our arms," Seonghwa huffed.

"Deal how?" Wooyoung smirked evilly, Mingi snickering alongside Jongho as they discussed the best way to torture said girl.

Seonghwa shrugged, yet the corners of his mouth are pulled into a maniac smile. "We'll see later. She's trash anyways compared to our darling."

[marin0i]

George Weasley X female Reader 🧡✨

- George and Y/n are in 5th year

- little fluff with some spice~

*Summary*

Y/n and george have been dating for a few months now, after being friends for like 3 years or so..

george always loved y/n, he loved how she looked at him, how she would kiss him so deeply, he loved how she makes him feel comforted and reassured whenever he's not feeling him self, she is hot, smart, lovely, and she was the only person who can make him lose his shit and he loved it..

Today he needed her comfort in more than one way~

This week, after a terrible failure in pranking Professor snape, george and fred got into a circle of troubles and a lot of annoying punishments, and apparently luck wasn't on their side today after getting caught reading through the forbidden books looking for a new inspiration for their next prank, y/n and everyone enjoyed teasing the twins in this unusual day for them...

"hello boys~ i guess being yelled at is not the best way to end the day" y/n said with a small giggle..

"yeah yeah, laugh all you want darling, I'm the one who is being yelled at after all" george said throwing himself next to her on the couch.

"THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!" everybody turned as fred yelled through the common room following his twin angrily.

"really?! the forbidden books?? You guys like to get in trouble" lee jordan said mocking them and everyone laughed.

The twins kept rumbling and complaining about their bad luck and everybody continued talking about their day, y/n kept playing gently with george's hand to give him some comfort, eventually he lied down on her lap, relaxing while she played with his hair.

after some small chats, y/n noticed her big baby being weirdly quiet..

"georgie? Are you ok? " Y/n Whispered. george sighed dramatically as an answer.. She looked at his twin with a worried look. "don't worry hun, we skipped dinner and have been punished with alot of work, and we are waiting for our mother to be notified" fred explained with annoyance.

That didn't make her feel reassured but she sat quiet and played with george's hair..

few minutes later, she felt a small muffled sigh.. She whispered softly "george.. What's going on?" he didn't answer.. Y/n tilted her head softly to look at him.

"Let's go to my dorm, the girls will go out tonight and my bed is more comfortable than yours... How do you feel about that?". George -without an answer- stood up facing a way from everyone and started walking. Everybody looked as y/n waved to them goodbye and followed her boyfriend.

When they got a little further away from the rest, y/n stopped him and kissed his hand to get his attention. "george.. Can you tell me what's on your mind?"..

"nothing, i'm just tired" he said while looking away

"you know that i can read your mind?"

He smirked and looked at her "oh? So what am i thinking right now?"

y/n pretended to think " you're hungery~"

" ...wrong"

"nah i'm right, you're just mean.. Ok you think i'm hot" y/n said with a wink.

"wait that's cheating!! i always think you're hot!"

"not my problem~"

"... It was a long day and i couldn't handle the stress plus I'm hungry"

"that's all?" she looked at him, worry written all over her face.

"No, y/n please don’t worry about me! i-it's just that i'm anxious about what our mother will say, fred doesn't care that much but i hate making her angry... and dad, i'm afraid he will be disappointed in us." he averted his eyes.

Y/n hugged him quietly and he relaxed in her arms.. "It’s okay to feel like that, and even if your parents get mad at you, it won't last for long. Everything will be okay georgie, i promise." she looked at him, smile on her face and he felt a little bit lighter.

"i have an idea babe, would you care to listen?". George half-smirking looked at her curiously. "i think there might be leftovers in the kitchen, Shall we go check and charm some elves?"

The boy's face lit up with a smile, the idea of a small adventure, him and her? alone? george was excited~

They snuck into the kitchens and convinced the workers there to let them stay for a while, the two sat down talking and eating. It was like a cute lil date and it changed george's mood a little, but it was enough for her~

Now they're at y/n's dorm, george was nervously standing there while y/n took her books and notes away. It was his first time being alone with y/n in her room without the girls interrupting. She saw him just standing so she pushed the boy lightly to her bed and sat next to him..

He was filled with alot of emotions, he was tired, happy, nervous, and greatful for her,he love her right now even more but doesn't know how to expresses that. It was obvious that he isn't going to be relaxed at all. So she took the matter in her hands..

"look at me love, i know today wasn't the best, so please tell me what can i do to make my boy feel better? " she said while holding his face and looking at him with a gentle smile.

He avoided her gaze shyly and started mumbling about somethings y/n didn't hear so she got on top of him and kissed his lips and said "speak louder honey"..

it feels good kissing george and it never fail to calm him, but there was something else. Y/n could feel george deepening the kiss, chest rising and falling, she could feel the heat..

It was an amazing kiss and she wished for it to last forever but she needed to make sure that he was fine.. she slightly moved away from his mouth, he followed her but she cupped his face "babe, what do you want me to do? I need your confirmation"

"please kiss me love!" george said breathlessly, his eyes on her lips..

She lowered her hands lightly to his jaw, brushing his lips and kissing his ear, whispering, then coming back to kiss him, her movements driving him crazy.

she move to his neck, stops to kiss and lick some sensitive spots, come back up to kiss him while touching his chest and teasing his nipples a little over the fabric. She can feel him shiver and groan in her mouth and she likes it~

George broke the kiss and moaned with a quick "fvck" . Y/n felt her stomach filled with butterflies, happy with her work, she started kissing his neck and muttering about how pretty he looks and how he makes her feel good. George couldn't handle anymore teasing so he stopped her and brought her back up to kiss her more..

When they part again, both were panting heavily. Y/n tried to take off his shirt but he did it himself. And she stopped, looking at her pretty boy like he was a piece of art. Y/n smiled to herself and kissed the corner of his mouth.

y/n felt something against her lower back, she smirked at him and quickly casted a silence spell on the door, then moved in his lap a little. he hugged her to his chest to stop her, and looked into her eyes with a special look..

"are you sure? i don't think i can hold myself back anymore darling" he said out of breath and panting. Y/n smiled and got closer to his lips, whispered gently "yes georgie.. i'm sure" she kissed him softly and slowly.. "i want you to show me how hot and bothered you are, how hard you can make me scream your name" .. she could feel him tremble for a moment, she smirked licking her lips and eyed him.

George watched y/n unbutton her shirt too, he got on top of her and gave her a small kiss before lowering down to her chest, exploring her body and teasing every inch of it.

He stopped at her stomach and looked at her..

"can i pleasure you now?" george said smiling with hungery eyes.

"please..."

She could feel his hands wandering under her skirt, her knee, her upper thigh, she could feel his hands everywhere but the one place she needed..

Feeling the heat inside her and the urging desire to be touched, she lost it "Bloody hell george stop that already!!" she groaned.

"stop what?" said george with a a grin~

"t-teasing me!"...

"hun, i need you to tell me exactly where you want me so i could fuck you up in the best way possible~"" said george with a deep voice.

Y/n now frustrated and the heat taking over her, she removed her skirt and her underwear, with a shy nervous look she opend her legs wider for him to see how wet she is.. "touch me here"

George's pov :

She was hot.. I loved her for how she is, for how she notice my ups and downs, i loved how she knows how to make me smile, and now? She is the most beautiful and sexy thing i've ever seen.. all i want now is to kiss every piece of skin my fingers touch..

i can feel my insides burn with desires, i can't control myself when i reach for her thighs and start biting and sucking oh her sensitive spots, i can hear her moans and it's driving me to the edge, it surprised me when she reached out to get her fingers in my hair. i know what she want but i won't give her that yet.. i know as soon as i enter her insides i will come so fucking quick.. i want to tease her more until she cries my name, it really crazy how with a few touches, she can make me this hot and bothered..

i kiss down her thigh and lick my way down to her pussy. I reach my tongue into her so deep that a gasp escapes from her lips, i want to do it more, her moans are hot.. i want to hear her scream, but i stop and look at her, a smirk forms on my face when i see how she is breathing hard, how red her sheeks are, and the lust and need in her eyes..fuck, she is soo pretty! i want to touch her, i want her real bad, i thought i can play this game but i can't, my dick is throbbing and i want to be inside her so fucking bad!!.

Y/n's pov :

He is mean, here i'm begging for his dick or his tongue, anything that can help to free the knot in my stomach, but he is just looking at me, that smug smile on his face!

I can't handle it, i swaped up with him and i'm on top, the surprise on his face was so obvious it makes me laugh.

"not in control anymore, are we?" i said and moved my hips back and forth, teasing him and satisfying my needs..

I could feel him stiffen and groan quietly.

I don't like that.. I like him loud, so i move faster and harder, now he is trying to touch me, i reach for my wand and hold his hands back on the bed with a spell, then move down to remove his pants. It took me off guard how hard he was! i smirked and looked at him as I took off his underwear.

He has this worried look on his face and i'm excited, i give his dick a long sloppy wet lick then suck a little on the top, my hand massaging his balls. He shivers and shift in the bed but can't do anything.

i'm enjoying the power~

When he start to moan louder and move more i leave him and sit on top of him again, i can hear the disappointment in his voice but i won't give him what he wants.

"how are you feeling love?~"

"Y/n please!"

"nop, you've been naughty george ~" i start moving again slowly against his cock but not in the way he want, just to tease him~

"Please! I won't do that again i swear!!"

I like that "hmm, but i want to punsh you" i say with a fake sad voice..

"Just touch me already! I beg you"

i get down until i'm next to his ear " believe me honey, i want you inside me so bad, but i want to tease you till you cry for your release, i love hearing you moan babe" i kiss his lips deeply and moan into his mouth.

When we part i could see how tense he is, i would love to sit on his dick and fuck him till he pass out but i need more.

I reach for his dick and start popping my head up and down. He was moving his hips with me, working for his release but i stop.. He was confused so i say "don’t moved" with a hard stare.

"that's impossible!!"

"you better do it if you want to come today~"

"you are mea-Ah!!" I licked his dick up and down before putting him inside again but this time so deep that i gag.

Poor georgie was moaning so loud and calling my name, i could tell he was using every cell in his body to stop himself from moving and it's killing him.

Now i was in need of him more than i was before so i stopped and quickly hopped up on him.. I didn't give the poor thing time to process what happened when i put him in me and sat down slowly, moaning at the sudden feeling.

He rolled his eyes and yelled a stray of words like "fuck" and "Bloody hell", That made butterflies form in my stomach again, i love this!

George's pov :

THIS IS A LOT!! She starts to move again and i feel like i'm in heaven.. i want to come so bad, i want to dig my fingers in her waist but i can't, i want to fuck her and ruin her insides, but she told me not to move!!

"can i move? please!" she didn't respond..

"y/n!! I can't handle it anymore, I WANT TO FUCK YOU!"

"shit!!"

I see her take her wand, freeing me then throw it on the table again, i can't hold myself any longer. i hold her and change our position to a more comfortable one, then start fucking her.

I can't think stright! Everytime I go so deep inside hear her moan even louder.. Her mouth looks so delicious, i kiss her and go so fast that i can hear our skin slapping together. Everything about her is driving me even crazy!!

She is so loud, i can feel her release coming closer so i work to our ends with more sloppy kisses and hits.

We came at the same time, everything went white and all the sounds went silence, it was a heavenly feeling. i lost all of my strength and threw myself on top of her, panting heavily as she did the same.

I kiss her small kisses and pull out, we laid there together, catching our breath and holding eachother.

she smiled "that was amazing george, thank you" i smiled back, i felt happy.

"You too babe, you did great~"

She snuggled closer and kissed my cheek.

"can you play with my hair?"

She smiled and hugged me while playing with my hair.

..END..

[tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar]

Ice Cream Princess

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: There isn't a day that JJ doesn't come to visit you at work. On the day he doesn't, you decide to visit him at work instead.

Word Count: 1,876

Note: A Stranger Things and Outer banks crossover imagine that no one asked for. Please give me feedback on anything but the title, I'm judging it and laughing at myself because of it. I hope you love it!

An ice-cream parlor opens up across the street of The Wreck. The owner quickly judges all of the teenagers that come in looking for a part-time summer job. Luckily for you, your older cousin Robin sweet talks her way - agrees to watch his daughter- to get Hopper to hire you on the spot.

Your favorite co-worker is Steve. Both of you share stories and talk about anything and everything. You're weren't too surprised to find he hang outs with "lil punks".

He has a childish side that comes out when it's you two in the shop. If a touron gives you a weird feeling and tries to flirt with you, Steve takes over like a protective older brother. You started calling him mom when he bossed you around the first time.

Last night there was a party held by the Pogues at the Boneyard. When Robin's girlfriend texts you saying that she woke up with a hangover, you agree with her that it would be best if you cover her shrift.

When you get to the shop on your bike, you park it next to Steve car and cringe when the annoying front door bell rings as you enter. "I'm surprised to see your face this morning."

"Good or bad surprised, mom?" He rolls his eyes as you walk past him and pat his shoulder.

He yells, "the worst!" As you make your way to the small back room and put your backpack in your locker.

You grab the lanyard Pope gave to you and trace the lil doodles Kiara drew on your nametag.

Clocking in, you wave at Hopper through his open office window. He learns further in his chair, arms across his chest.

"You work too much."

"You don't pay me enough."

Humming to the radio that's connected to the speakers that hang from the ceiling, you look over Steve shoulder to see which Playlist he's playing.

You mutter, "I hate that thing" when the bell rings.

JJ is leading everyone, arms flaring around as he jumps on top of the counter. He bends one knee underneath his other leg to sit more comfortably sideways and grins at you.

"You're ass is going to break that and you'll have to pay for it."

"Are you telling me I have a fat ass?" He puts a hand over his heart and fakes cries. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Princess."

You shove him off, chuckling when he almost doesn't save his fall and trip over his own two feet.

"So dramatic like always and Y/N is still my name." You point down at your nametag. "Y/N. Not Princess."

"What do you guys want today?" Steve asks.

JJ glares at him but smirks when you pick up a scoop. He leans over the counter and says, "I'll like a lick of that."

You tell Pope thank you for slapping JJ in the back of the head, making his gray and red snapback fall off.

He runs his fingers through his hair and you barely catch it when throws it towards you.

"You would look better in it than that." He reaches over to tap on your uniform hat wear.

You blush at the hidden complaint and slap his hand away.

"Stop flirting." John B says as he hands over JJ his ice cream.

Kiara slightly pushes him towards the table, they always sit at.

Steve smirks as he leans against the counter. "Princess?"

In the corner of your eye, you see JJ giving himself whiplash. You know Steve is on a mission to find a nickname for you, especially something that you hate as much as he hates 'mom'.

But JJ doesn't. "It's a long story."

"I'll love to hear it someti-"

JJ claps his hands together as the chair slides across the floor as he stands up. "Once upon a time, little miss Y/N dressed up as a princess one Halloween. There was a picture of proof that her mother gladly showed me. Ever since, I've called her Princess and one day she'll call me her Prince. The end."

Sarah 'awwws' and says, "That's actually really adorable."

"Thank you, I know." JJ says proudly and you both smile at each other.

─────

During your next shift, it's only John B and JJ.

"Well hello there boys."

JJ takes off his sunglasses off slowly and puts his arm on the counter. "Princess."

You try not to pay attention to how good his arms look with his gray tank top.

You're the one who breaks eye contact. You don't miss the little fist pump he does but you miss how his shoulders drop when you look at him after seeing how panic John B looks.

Oh, right.

"We need to get the biggest bowl of Sarah's favorite ice cream. Her monthly came to visit and John B, the sweetheart idiot he is, doesn't remember her flavor."

You make 'o' shape with your mouth. "Got it. It's the end of the world for him. Well lucky for you, I know it."

John B screams out, "I owe you one" as he grabs the cup container from you and runs out to the Van.

JJ puts money in the tip jar. "From future Sarah."

After you watch him put his sunglasses back on and the door bell rings when the door closes, Robin pinches your leg.

"Are you going to start helping me again with this or am I going to have to restock everything myself?"

Blushing, you say, "I'm not Steve."

She stops laughing after a few seconds to say, "I bet you that JJ knows his Princess favorite ice cream flavor."

"Shut up."

─────

Pope, Kiara, and JJ all give you a pointed look when they stop by the shop before seeing a movie. The movie you agreed to go to one minute but then the next you said "wait sorry, I have to work." and hanged up on JJ.

"I'm about to drag you and your cute stubborn ass out of here for once and all, Princess."

Kiara has a hand on her hip, when she says, "You need to take a break."

You close your eyes and throw your head back, annoyed that she's right. "You guys know how much I need this job and the money."

A look of understanding crosses JJ's face but he straightens himself and says in a stern voice, "You are also supposed to have fun with your friends once a while."

"I know that!" He doesn't flinch at you raising your voice.

Thinking he's used to it, your heart and face fall.

"I- I'm sorry. How about we all hangout tomorrow at the Chateau and relax? Or we can do anything you guys want to do. Let John B and Sarah know and-"

JJ strides behind the counter and pulls you in a hug. No one words are needed when you shove your face against his chest and catch your breathing.

Pope puts a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, JJ. We're going to be late."

"You know what? I'm actually in the mood for ice cream not theater popcorn. Go on without me."

Kiara tells you both goodbye and Pope mouths "whipped" and does the wrapped around a finger hand's motion as she pulls him away.

You look up at JJ. "You didn't have to do that."

"Do what?" His cocky grin becomes bigger when you roll your eyes before helping a costumer. He leaves the counter to sit at the table, hands on the bottom of his chin as he does silly faces from behind the stranger's shoulder.

─────

Steve looks up when he hears the bell ring and watches as JJ loses his step.

Before he can walk away, Steve says, "She will be back shortly. I sent her to the bank real quick for more change."

JJ lets the door close behind him. He takes a big breath in as he turns around. "You trust her that much, huh?"

"Don't you?"

JJ lets out a dark laugh. "It's different. You get payed to see her, I do it because I want to."

That's Steve's breaking point. "Okay, I don't understand why or how you started hating me the first time you met me but I think I can get a wild guess why. A attractive, couple of years older comes into her life. You're jealous over nothing, dude. I see her as annoying little sister. And yeah, I get payed to do this shitty job but when she's working too, she makes it fun."

"Are you done?" JJ is looking at anything but him.

"One more thing, don't waste anymore time."

Steve looks at the clock on the wall and figures you'll be back any minute.

"I have to get to work." JJ looks over his shoulder.

He opens his mouth but changes his mind, and closes it and walks out.

On the other side of the sidewalk, he doesn't stop when you call out his name.

──────

"Funny seeing you're here."

JJ slams his tray down on the table next to yours. "I work here."

He stops wiping it down and gets the sudden urge to squirt you with the cleaning product bottle when he hears you tapping your feet against the chair across on of your table.

When he looks around and notices there aren't a lot of people in the dinner room he sits down and huffs and puffs. "Why are you here?"

"What? You can come visit me at work but I can't?"

When you both notice another bus boy, you let JJ grab the nearest glass pitcher and pull you some water.

"Now you can't walk away and ignore me, like how you did a couple of hours ago."

"I'm sure Steve told you all about it." The biter in his voice makes you lean over the table to grab his hand.

He jumps but doesn't pull away.

"He told me that you came in the shop, you looked like a little lost puppy when you made eye contact with him instead of me. You guys actually had somewhat of a conversation, which, I'm surprised actually happened."

JJ smiles a little as you start spinning one of his rings. "Steve didn't tell me what it was about...at first."

JJ can't sit still.

He stands up and as he talks, he walks in pace. "He, he uh- shit. Fuck, okay. He got in my head. I couldn't talk to you cause I didn't want to say something that would ruin our friendship. I didn't even know how I would say it-to be honest, still don't but you're smart, I think you know where am I going with this-"

He stops talking, mid-sentence when you laugh. "JJ, just say it or I'll crush your ego by saying it first."

"I love you." He says it over and over again in the middle of the kisses after you say it back.

He stops when someone yells his name and tells him to get back to work.

You give him a quick peak and have to put your hands on top of his to move them off of your hips.

"I'll see you later, JJ. We can go watch a movie?"

"Sounds like a date, Princess."

[dollfaceeeeee]

How the Avengers would react if you flinched when they tried to touch you..😭

I have been dealing with the aftermath of domestic violence for a couple years now, and with intense PTSD and panic disorder, this was so calming to think about tbh.

Tony Stark: Oh gods, he would notice, with immense distaste. He would probably hesitate to touch you afterward, but he would be gentle about talking to you about it, and would reassure you over and over that you’re safe, and that nobody will ever hurt you again. He may also ask for addresses and names, just because he’s..well, he’s Tony. He’s got the power to do crazy shit. And if he cares about you, can you imagine what he would do to someone that hurt you? My sweet man.

Steve Rogers: He would be horrified that you would ever think he would hurt you. He would probably tell anyone else in the room to get lost and sit you down and just hold you, telling you that you’re safe with him always, that nobody will ever hurt you again. He wouldn’t push you to talk about it, but if you wanted to, he would listen. He’s not one to reveal his anger as easily as Tony or Buck, but it would break his heart to hear about it, that’s for sure. He would leave the killing to Bucky and Loki tbh, but he might join in too. Maybe.

Bucky Barnes: He might be hurt, physically, that you would think he would hurt you, but he wouldn’t be surprised at the action. He was a scary guy, at one point or another, but he would gently pull you in against him and squeeze you so tight you couldn’t breathe, maybe even sway with you for a while until you felt better. And then, he’d blow up, ask who the fucker is, where they are, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He would be on a death mission with only one thing in mind, and that’s keeping you safe. That’s all he cares about.

Thor: Honestly, he might not catch on at first, because he probably doesn’t see domestic violence as much at home, but after you explain it to him or get emotional, he would want to understand what he did wrong. He doesn’t seem like the type to push you, but he does seem like the type to go in to hold you, maybe run his fingers down your back, and just kinda curl himself around you protectively. He would probably bring you to get food too, and maybe ice cream to cheer you up.

Loki: OKAY so the tough one. On one hand, he may understand why you might flinch around him, but boy would he explode once you told him it wasn’t from him, but from..someone else. Holy shit he would be a time bomb. Who is it? Where are they? Do they have a DEATH WISH? He would slide those daggers out like nothing and call Bucky to assist him. He’s out for fucking blood. He would probably leave Thor to babysit you in the meantime lol.

Bruce Banner: Soft boy would be HORRIFIED. He would get it because the green guy can scare people sometimes, but of him? Oh no. He would bring you somewhere quiet and make you a cup of tea and just kinda talk to you gently about it, rubbing your shoulder when it gets tough. He’d probably also put a movie on afterward and just hold you, just to remind you that you’re safe with him. He’s definitely a snuggler.

Natasha Romanoff: She would be joining Bucky and Loki. Someone HURT YOU? Death, on the spot. Of course she would want to understand what happened and if you’re alright, and she would probably just talk to you one on one if you needed it, but she would give you her full attention. And then afterward, she would be joining those boys on a death mission. Those three, as a group, with Wanda too? And CAROL? I mean, RIP whoever decided to lay a hand on you.

Clint Barton: Oh he would be HARDCORE concerned. What do you mean you’re gonna flinch when he raises his arm? Why? He would bring you in the kitchen and force you to talk to him about whatever the hell that was while he makes you a grilled cheese. I mean, what kinda sick fuck hurts someone like that for no singular reason? He’s such a dad, but he’s got your back, always.

Wanda Maximoff: I’d tell her literally all my deepest secrets. She would never take anything personally, but she would be upset that someone blatantly hurt you. Why would they hurt this small, ordinary human? Absolutely not alright. She would hold you for however long you wanted and then make you some good food for dinner while she made you laugh. When you went to bed, though..like I said, she would be joining the death party. Sorry.

Pietro Maximoff: PIEEEEEETRO. He would be so confused, and unsure of what to do, but he would probably blatantly ask you if you wanted the person to die like it’s a normal question, like “hey what’s for dinner?” Yeah, like that. He would make a big blanket fort with snacks and soft blankets and hold you until you fell asleep, and wouldn’t sleep a wink, keeping watch over you the entire night. He’s ✨soft✨.

Vision: He would try so hard to understand what the fuck is going on, but his mind would have a hard time processing why the fuck some idiot would ever hurt you. Why? For what purpose? Even after explaining it, he would probably just be infuriated, no matter what you say. How could they do this to you? Those assholes. He would probably offer a hug, or something to eat to make you feel better, but he would be plotting their demise. Guaranteed.

Carol Danvers: She would start a full out war, given the circumstances. How dare some scummy human being hurt you? She would show them, and make it the worst day of their lives. No matter how much you tried to calm her down, she would be out for blood. No way this woman would NOT be are you KIDDING? She’s too spicy for that.

Sam Wilson: He would also be another one I would tell literally anything to. He would be incredulous that you would ever think he would hurt you, but man would he pay attention when you told him. All that man would do is pull you into his arms, hug you as tightly as he can, and tell you everything is alright now, he would never let them hurt you again, and that he loves you. Sammy just seems like a guy that would tell you he loves you during something traumatic like that.

Doctor Stephen Strange: Another one that wouldn’t quite know how to react. He would probably be confused, at first, and then deeply concerned for you once he caught on, and would probably ask to speak to you about it whenever you were ready. He would probably mention that you can come by later to his room to talk about it when everyone else is asleep so it’s a calmer atmosphere, and would probably rub your shoulder as he passes you, but that’s it. And that’s enough.

Peter Parker: My devastated little bean. He would be WILDLY apologetic, thinking he did something wrong, and just saying he’s sorry over and over and wondering what he did wrong and how to fix it, but then when you explain, he wouldn’t be so..apologetic. Peter would probably order a pizza and pull you onto the couch with him and let you choose a movie, and just let you curl in against him. He would probably fall asleep with you, too, while Tony has to pay for the damn pizza.

T’Challa: Um..tbh I feel like he would be furious, in a plainly way to put it. That guy has venom in his eyes every time he’s on screen, and this wouldn’t make him feel any better. Of course he would move to comfort you first, but that man is a whole king. You think he wouldn’t do something about it? Say goodbye to whoever hurt you. He would take them off the map.

Scott Lang: He would probably joke about it at first and think you’re just messing around, but he would be absolutely devastated when you get upset over it. He would be HORRIFIED that he upset you, and would probably try desperately to talk to you about it, or try to make you feel better. He would probably end up getting knocked out by Sam or Bucky, but he would welcome it after that lol.

Valkyrie: She would not probably comment on it until you guys were alone, because she might think it’s a private matter for you and she would respect your boundaries, but if you got seriously upset on the spot she would probably pull you into a hug and yell for everyone to get the fuck out. She wouldn’t make you talk about it, but she would know when you needed to be alone, so she would make sure you got the time you needed. If you needed her afterward, she would be there.

Groot: I AM GROOT. That is all.

Rocket: A lot like Antman and Thor, he would probably joke about it or think you weren’t being serious at first, but after you were, man he would be upset for you. He would probably comfort you by telling you jokes to get you to laugh, or something, but in his mind he would probably be plotting the end of a pitiful human being far away.

Gamora: She wouldn’t let that shit go, no sir. She wouldn’t pester you, but man she would want to know what the hell that was about, and what stupid, God forsaken bastard decided that you were a punching bag. Not on her watch. Be prepared to tell her, because she won’t let anything like that go. I don’t make the rules.

Peter Quill: Idk if he really knows how to be serious at..serious times..maybe? Anyway, he would make sure to never move that sharply around you again, and wouldn’t say anything about it unless you wanted to talk to him about it. He might ask the others what was going on with you, but he’s not the type to show that he cares about a lot of shit. Sorry, Quill.

James Rhodes: He is such a dad lol. He would be taken back by the action, don’t get me wrong, but he also wouldn’t be one to let it go. Who is it? What happened? He might not be aggressive about it like the others, but he would want to know that they are long gone now, and he would remind you that you’re safe.

Nebula: Ah shit, what did she do wrong now? That’s it. Haha.

Baron Zemo: Who the fuck was it? Who the FUCK hurt you? Oh no, Zemo would be out for blood. He wouldn’t need a team, or partners in the quest, nah, he would be going alone and would scare that bastard in their beds in the night. DING DONG, it’s the boogeyman, I’m here to end you for your bullshit choices.

Hope van Dyne: This badass Queen would not back down from asking you about what was wrong. Did someone in the compound hurt you? Did she have to kill them? But when you tell her, she would be horrified for you, and offer to hurt the person that hurt you. An eye for an eye, right? Up to you.

Drax: Do they need to die? He would do it for you. No charge.

Mantis: She would read you like an open book the second you flinched, so don’t try to deny it, or say that it was just a reflex. She would probably have a detox night and make nachos with you and throw on some comedy movie she heard about from Rocket. She wouldn’t let you hurt on your own. She would be there.

Wong: UGH what a GUY. He would probably make you some soup because it’s the ultimate comfort food and talk about it together. He wouldn’t get agitated, or force you to open up too much, but he would offer his company and his attention as long as you wanted it.

Okoye: She would probably be with T’Challa tbh. Sorry. She would be out for some tucking vengeance.

Shuri: She would be the one to bring you along with her somewhere private, wrap you in a blanket, and hold your hand as she urged you to tell her what the hell that was. She would be one of the best at comforting, and afterward she would show you around her collection of inventions to make you forget about that stupid, repulsive human being.

Pepper Potts: Someone..HURT YOU? Oh no. She would go right to Tony with it and demand that the two of them do something to avenge you. There is absolutely no way that she would let that slide. She would also make you your favorite food, some warm cookies, and get a bath going for you to help soothe you.

Korg: Dude is made of rocks. ROCKS. You expect him to understand what the fuck is going on? He would probably get a video game going to let you release some anger and ask Thor for help in the meantime.

[glazebowstuffz]

New brother part 2

Wanna read the 1st part? Click/tap me!

Thank you all so much for the support! I was glad that people actually like the first part of this story! I will make a character list of everyone soon along with age and heights! There is a small problem and I have no idea what to call this au... hopefully you guys have suggestions! Or maybe I will just call it New brother AU... I don't really know. Anyways onward with this story!

A few hours had past, both Wilbur and Tommy shared favorites hobbies and interests with each other. Mostly Wilbur having to explain most of his hobbies with Tommy, since he was still young and didn't really know much about humans or hobbies. Even Wilbur started telling him some stories that he remembers Phil telling him and Techno when they we're young. During their conversations they both built a small (bigger to Wilbur) shack for Tommy to stay in and Wilbur to visit him by a river but not just any old river... this one leads him back home. He knew this since he found two little paper swans that both him and Techno made last weekend for a festival. Speaking of homes, he decide not to bring Tommy back with him to prevent Dadza and Techno from having any sort of heart attack by the giant child or even worst Dadza and other adults killing him. Wilbur shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. "Awe you ok Wilby?" Tommy asked from inside the shack. He was laying down and softly yawning while rubbing his tired eyes.

"Of course I am big man. You get some rest, I'll be back tomorrow to check on you." Before Wilbur could walk along side the river, Tommy stop him by holding onto the end of his yellow cardigan. "Huh? What's wrong Tommy?" Wilbur ask looking back at Tommy's sadden face.

"Wot... what if... you don't cwome back? You awe gowing to lewave me like mum and dad." Hearing Tommy afraid of him going, broke his heart but sadly he needed to go back home before it gets darker. Suddenly he gets an idea and takes his beanie off.

"Here, I'm going to leave you my beanie. Now I have to come back for it and you." Tommy takes the small beanie. "I promise I'll be back tomorrow! Just stay near here so I'll be able to find you again." Tommy nods holding his beanie close to him as Wilbur smile and says his final goodbyes, walking along the river as Tommy sleeps with Wilbur's beanie close to him never letting go of it.

It takes a couple of hours but finally he makes it to the west side of town near the bridge that him, Techno, and Niki play around and where him and Techno set the paper swans.

Speaking of which he sees Niki on the bridge. Excitedly he starts running towards her waving his hand trying to get her attention which works. "Niki!!" He yells climbing the side of the hill to get on the bridge.

"Wilbur!? Oh, Wil!!!" She yells back helping him to his feet. "You're alive!"

"What? Of course I'm alive. What made you believe I was dead?" Wilbur ask. He was only gone for a few hours but he didn't think everyone thought he was dead. Unless...

"Dream, Sapnap, and George all came back yelling and terrified from the forest. They said that they were chasing after you until something giant came approaching towards all of you. They managed to escape and waited for you to leave the forest too but... you never did. They were all telling Puffy this and I just overheard them talking. I-I... I didn't think it was true. I came here hoping it wasn't." Niki was almost on the verge of tears. Wilbur wiped away her tears and pulled her into a hug. "Oh, Wil!" She hugs back.

"It's okay, Niki. I'm here... I'm real. Wait." He stops hugging her. "Did Puffy say anything about this to my dad?"

"To Phil? I'm not too sure... I left as soon as I heard them saying they thought you died."

"It's alright Niki. I'll have to check myself... Oh! Before I go. Can you meet me back here again tomorrow in the early afternoon?" Wilbur ask almost in a begging way.

"Of course but why?"

"It will be a surprise! I'll see you tomorrow Niki!" With that he runs as quickly as he can home. Luckily apon arriving he sees Puffy with Dream about to knock on the door. "Wait!" He yells at them. They both look over at him. Both being surprise to see him. He runs closer to them. "I'm here! I'm here. I'm alive." He says catching his breath.

"Wilbur? We thought you-" He cut Puffy off.

"Died... yeah. Niki filled me in. I'm not dead, I'm very much alive. No thanks to Dream leaving me behind." Puffy looks at Dream in a mad way.

"In my defense we were all running away from the giant thing... we thought you were right behind us." Dream said. "Plus you stole our stuff and put us in that position!"

"I didn't steal! I was just borrow-" Before he could finish. The front door open and revealing a very upset Dadza.

"What did the little shit do now?" Phil ask Puffy as he looks down at his son. Before Wilbur could speak Puffy cut him off.

"Actually, just dropping him off. He did try and steal some stuff but he gave them back, so no harm done." She leads into his ear and whispers. "I might not know exactly what happened but we'll talk more on about this soon" She ruffles his hair. "Well Phil he's all yours! And if you need any supplies then don't be afraid to ask. I'll send Dream to give you all a little sum of ours. Have a nice night." With that both Puffy and Dream left.

"Oh, uh... thanks Puffy. You as well." He opens the door more to let Wilbur in. Once he enters Phil quickly closes the door. "So... what really happened, Wilbur?"

Wilbur panics at bit but relaxes. "I stole some of their supplies... not borrow. I wanted to help us with food but I got carried away and Dream caught me in the act. I ran and he followed until well... you know how that ended up."

Phil sighs out loud. "Will, I know food isn't really our strong suit right now. But I promise we'll find a way. Luckily... Puffy was nice and offer some supplies after what you pulled off. I'm very glad your not hurt but still don't do that again." He gives Wilbur a hug. "Now go to bed you lil shit, don't forget about your dinner."

Happily Wilbur goes to the kitchen and grabs his plate of potatoes. Of course it's potatoes again... he wouldn't be surprised by this. He quickly scoffs it down and goes to his and Techno's bedroom. He finds Techno reading a book not noticing his twin open or closes the door. Wilbur falls into his bed feel all the warm, soft sheets underneath him. It reminded him of Tommy's hands when he grab him. Even when he did it roughly... the child was really soft.

"So, what really happened?" Techno speak as he lower his book to meet his brother's gaze.

[oingo233]

Rapture is a Boy (2)

Summary: Remus and you have always had a playful, loving relationship but his behavior around the full moon leads you to assume the worst. A huge fight ends with the two of you heartbroken. Will Remus reveal the truth behind his behavior?  And will you still love him afterwards or has he truly lost you forever?

Young Remus Lupin x Reader

Warning: brief talk of weight (as someone who is overweight I would never write anything or imply that being overweight is a bad thing, I know society deems it as less beautiful but the truth is that we are so beautiful, every single one of us despite our weight/size or appearance, we just have a different journey to self-love than those who are conventionally pretty, a much harder path to confidence no doubt, but let me remind you that you are breath taking because most to all of beauty is the uniqueness that one has), some angst sprinkled into this one, get ready for loads of it later, bitches like em’ sad, it’s me, I’m bitches.  Also, there are some cuss words, nothing too bad though. Self-doubt, cheating is mentioned.

Authors note: I try to keep my writing(self inserts) gender, body type, ethnicity and house neutral/not specified.  If I ever slip up please let me know so that I can change it. Remus’s/3rd POV is italicized, it switches back and forth briefly to better show the relationship and luv. Shit will go down in the next chapter, enjoy the little amounts of fluff and joy in this one while it lasts mwhahaha!

Word Count: 2k

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

                                                      Part Two

                                      **** Chocolate Pudding ****

I was distracted in class for the second time this month, all because of Remus Lupin.  He plagued my mind, and now Lucy accompanies him even in my thoughts. I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions, and I almost never do.  But Lily saying I should talk to him, and Lucy running off to comfort Remus when it should have been me, pushed me into a full spring leap. And the conclusion I leapt to was a heartbreaking one, but with all the confidence of the world I believed it.  It’s the only thing that makes sense with what I know now.  He’s cheating on me.

He told me earlier today, he will be studying in the library with the rest of the marauders before dinner. I will meet and talk to him there, I decided, wringing my fingers and then wiping the sweat off on my robes. Because although yes, I do think he could be cheating on me, I know Remus is a great person.  Great people don’t cheat, right?

“Lily, you don’t think he’s cheating do you?” I blurted out, whispering it softly to her through her blockade of dark red hair.  She turned to me flabbergasted, her mouth agape to me.

“No,” She says definitely.  “Remus is not that person...” There is a silence as I nod blankly at her, I know she is being truthful but she wants to say more. I tug on her robe sleeves, I need to hear what she wants to say but can’t bring myself to ask aloud.  What if I don’t like the answer?

“But I think, that ya should talk to him about it.  He seems off, no?  Maybe it isn’t Lucy at all.  You’re jumping to conclusions.” She gives me a pointed look and I nod now in both acceptance and thanks.

“You’re right.  I’m being a git.”  We both laugh, my mind now eased slightly. We continue to talk amongst ourselves here n there throughout the class. I mentioned James once and she glares at me, but I smile and say,

“Gee Lily, your hair looks awfully bright with that complimentary blush of yours.” She nearly shoves me off my stool. Spending alone time with Lily (despite the large group of students around us) was refreshing, I felt a lot lighter.  But the thought of this up coming confrontation with the love of my life once again settled above me like a dark cloud.

It was the last period and it ended minutes ago, I am now making my way up to the library. To Remus. The doors were heavy but glided over the floor as I opened them, the room smelt of old books and dusty pages. I inhaled deeply and smiled to myself, it smells slightly like Remus. Speaking of, his laughter rings out and without a second to waste, Peter, Remus, Sirius and James are shushed aggressively.  

I turn around the corner to finally meet them and they’re huddled over some large piece of parchment. Giggling and whispering to themselves, heads nearly clinking together.  I clear my throat as so not to intrude. Remus quickly turns to me, his eyes wide in surprise before he stands and hugs me, enclosing my head in his chest.

“(y/n), what a lovely surprise. How was class?” I muffled a hello into his sweater, and can hear shuffling around, from the boys and only when the sound ceased did Remus let go of me.  He rubbed his hands down my arms, and smiled warmly down at me.  Before I could answer James leans his head in his hand, breathing heavy, he turns to me. 

“How’s Lils?  Ya have that class with her, right?”  I roll my eyes and sit down beside them, Remus stands behind me. The paper is gone but I pay it no mind.

“Yes,” I chuckle to myself, remembering her blush at just the mention of his name.  “She’s doing quite well actually.  And you boys?  Any mischievous plans stuffed up your sleeves?  20, maybe?” They all look at one another and shrug, Peter shook his head yes. Sirius hit his arm and shook his head no, dramatically until Peter followed along. Then the two turn to me and I laugh, not pushing the obvious truth of a scheme from them. They’re sly when they want to be, so this was a definite bashful action. Cheeky.

“Hey love, we’ll meet you down at dinner yeah?” My heart sank for the 2nd, no 3rd time that day.  When did Remus get so dismissive? The boys stared up at him a little, mouths agape before they turned to me with soft smiles.  

“We’ll miss you dearly until then,” Sirius adds, once again in high spirits.

“Yes, and don’t eat all the pudding in spite.” Peter makes sure to add after last time I did such a thing.  It was Peters favorite and he once said I looked bigger when I returned at the train station for the beginning of the year, after the summer of puberty, when really he was just awkwardly talking about how I grew taller and more into myself, good bigger, he thought.  But, like anyone with ears I assumed he was calling me fat (fat and all shapes and sizes is beautiful and worthy of love and appreciation, but when someone, such as Peter, implies such a thing to another, in such a way, they could only mean it harmfully so of course I was not going to let that shite slide), so that night I shoveled in all the chocolate pudding before he could get even one bite.  

Remus was laughing hysterically with the other boys, as I smirked a blob of pudding fell out between my lips, and Peter looked like he was going to cry.  I remember Remus pulled me aside that night to clear up the misunderstanding.  He awkwardly confessed it was about my surprising change in appearance, and that I actually look very beautiful.  We snogged later that year and the rest is history. (Though the romantic build up was a lot more romantic than just snogging, Remus can be a romantic kind of guy, now was not once of those moments.)

I turn to him.

“Okay. See you then!” I fake the cheeriness in my voice and hope my breath isn’t too shaky as I go and kiss Remus’s cheek.  He kisses the very edge of my lips distractedly as I pull away, far from our usual goodbye kisses. I make my way out of the library before stopping in my tracks to yell something over my shoulder.

“The pudding is yours Peter, though it’ll look more appetizing each time you bring that night up,” I expected laughter, or for Peter to say something, anything in response but instead there is silence. I turn around to see the large parchment out again, and the boys huddled over it animatedly.  

Thoroughly aggravated, I huff my way down to the dorm and rant to Lily about it all. Then she suggests both the best and the worst idea we, as intellectual, well-put together (well we like to think so) people, have had all day.

“Well, maybe we could throw a little party?  Lift your spirits a wee bit, huh love?” Lily suggest, after the fifth time I explain the library scene and how rejected it made me feel.  Remus did not want my company, he sat behind my chair and waited until he could ‘politely’ tell me to go, after ignoring me half the day since the incident with Snape.

“And,” she continues, twiddling her thumbs anxiously. “it can be like an impromptu date for Remus and you, if he comes, because of course we’ll invite him-”

“And James,” I smirk, she glares at the way I rudely cut her off but I think she did it more so because of the blush that arose to her cheeks.

“er, sure.  But as I was saying, it could be good for you too. I know he hasn’t been spending much time with you lately and everything.”  She glances over at a giggling Lucy adorned in red and gold. I scoff bitterly.

“Yeah we haven’t.  But ya know what, it’s nothing new innit.  He always gets like this.” I stab my dinner with a fork and hear a chuckle coming up from behind me. Peter glances over my shoulder at the chocolate pudding bowl in front of me, seeing as it is still very much full he bows to me and kisses my cheek.

“Thank you, O’ so gracious one,” I can’t fight the laugh, though Remus may upset me, his friends are good blokes that always cheer me up, or at least try too.

The boys all pile in next to us, though it’s been a while since dinner started, they’re a bit late because of whatever they were doing in the library.

Remus saw you and his heart stopped you were, as always breath taking but tonight you looked off, you were stabbing your food with frustration, something must be wrong?  You always happily eat your meals, and your laughter is always the first he hears when he walks into the great hall. He watches as Peter makes you laugh, he feels a little off seeing you act this way with Peter. You, lately haven’t been as light hearted around him.  

He sits down next to you and is eager to apologize for his behavior earlier. He wanted to take the words back right after his comment.  As if he wasn’t feeling bad enough James and the boys ripped into him.

“Bloody hell mate, you might as well demanded she left.” The room was silent as all 4 of them nodded in agreement, Remus included.  He sat down and grumbled to himself as they pulled out the marauders map. The very reason he was eager for you to leave, he didn’t want you to see the latest secret of his. Another one of his reasons to be riddled with guilt, he felt so dishonest with you. And he’s been more and more moody with the full moon coming out tonight.

Tonight, as they made their way to the shrieking shack they were going to map it on the marauders map.  They were so close to finishing and Remus was eager to, between the map and his soon to be shift he’s had less time to spend with you.  Which means less time with your smile, and kisses, and hugs and laughter and bloody hell did he feel like we was going through withdrawal.  

But he feels, though the boys disagree, that he should keep his distance from you before full moons.  He gets too quite, and angry, and annoyed, he’d hate for you to see this side of him, and all his flaws, and leave him.  He wouldn’t survive the pain, he wanted to marry you one day.

“ello’ darling,” Remus whispers into my ear, kissing my cheek. James stares at us before looking lovingly at Lily, who is looking back with raised brows  As if to say ‘what now, potter’.

“ello’ darling,” James copies, leaning down to give Lily a kiss on her cheek but she pushes his shoulders back, nonetheless he pulls back with a smile.  

“Worth a shot, you’ll miss it one day Evans, once my heart has had enough and I become a reclusive slug,” He says matter-of-factly as he begins to pile food onto his plate.  

“I’d act quick Lily, he’s already beginning to look like one.” Sirius leans into to say, though his hair dangles in the pudding making Peter yelp.  Remus removes the pudding and adds some to Peters plate.

“You should thank him, grease adds flavor to everything.” Sirius gasps and turns to Remus with slitted eyes. The whole rest of us are laughing, and trying desperately to keep the volume at a minimum as Sirius runs his hand through his hair and tries to rub “the grease” over Remus face.

“If only grease could erase that smirk off your face, mate.  I’ll find a way,” Sirius grits as he wrestles Remus who is bumping slightly into me fighting him off.  He turns his head during the battle of a lifetime, and apologizes to me for the rough housing, though the look in his eyes seemed like he was sorry for much more. I was taken aback slightly, so I shrug with a loving smile.

Eventually we all finish our dinner and Lily invites the table to our party, all of Gryffindor table actually.  Many cheered and said they’d come and bring friends, some even declared to bring butterbeer by the jugfull.  But the Marauders just stared at us with a frown.

“We, uh, we can’t make it tonight.  Haven’t done enough studying for the exam. I can’t fail this one (y/n), you know that...” Peter trails off and I almost feel bad, maybe the party was a bad idea. The boys all nod along and Lily and I swallow our pride and doubts before telling them it was fine.

Lily holds my arm as we walk back.

“They’re just studying, nothing else to it.”  But we both saw the way Lucy stuck behind as well.

Taglist:

@crazylokonugget​     @beyondprincess​

[imkylotrash]

Saturday Bridge

Pairing: Trevor Matthews x reader

Request: Trevor is heartbroken after Tessa and the last thing on his mind is meeting someone new. But there’s this girl that he just keep running into and he’s starting to think it’s not a coincidence. @mcaronimcaroon​

“What can I get you tonight?” he yells trying to be heard over the loud music. It’s a good night to go clubbing - it’s hot out, lots of people, good music. And you can tell most of these people won’t be going home alone tonight. 

“Just the usual,” you reply scanning the scene one more time as you wait. It’s never been your thing to meet a stranger and spend the night with them but for some reason you’ve always been fascinated by the night life. Especially in a town like Seattle with so many new people every night. 

“Thanks,” you say as the bartender hands you two shots of tequila. You wanted a fun night out but the text on your phone informs you that the fun night won’t be an option tonight. Before leaving you throw some dollar bills on the bar catching the bartender nodding your way. You have every intention of going straight home but you can’t ignore the group of guys circling their prey. 

“Shit,” you mumble and walk their way. 

“Everything alright, boys?” you ask purposely breaking up the circling, coming to a stop next to the terrified man in the middle. 

“No need to get involved. We were just having a friendly chat.” You know these men. They probably don’t remember you, but you have a clear memory of them surrounding you the same way last year drunk out of their minds. It’s nice to see their friendship has survived this long. 

“I know your type of friendly chats. I suggest you guys get going.” You don’t take your eyes off them because you want to be prepared for the raised hand. And seconds later one guy does in fact raise his hand ready to strike you but you’re not having it. You grab him by the wrist and press down hard with your fingers while turning his arm outward. He yells out in pain but at this point you’ve got no remorse for what you’re about to do. One very well-placed kick between the legs takes him down. 

“Anybody else wants to try their luck?” You look around and in the last second you manage to duck as one of the others swing for you. 

“How about a little warning?” you smirk before hitting his nose with the palm of your hand. You hit with just enough force to cause a nose bleed but not break it. 

“You absolute bitch!” he exclaims spitting out blood. You can’t really argue with him so you just shrug. 

“I gave you fair warning that the chat was over.” You can tell they want to keep going but a crowd has assembled and they’re the type of boys whose ego can’t stand being beaten by a girl. 

“Next time,” one of them smiles looking straight at the guy behind you. You sneer as you watch them go. 

“That was incredible. Thank you,” he says making you turn around. He’s a pretty boy not meant for these kinds of places. He even wore a suit which explains why they figured he’d be an easy target. 

“Don’t mention it.” You did what any decent person would do. You hate the way he looks at you as if you’ve just figured out how to solve world hunger. It’s too much from a stranger. 

“I’m going to get going. Maybe you should too.” You’re not trying to sound mean but he won’t last a night in this neighbourhood of Seattle - at least not wearing that. 

“Wait!” he yells and you stop, “I’m Trevor. Your name is...?” 

“Bye,” you say walking away. You don’t want to get to know this man and frankly, you have places you need to be. He yells out again but this time you don’t stop. You continue to walk down the street hoping that he’ll take your advice and go home. 

“Hi, nana,” you smile setting down your bag by the door. 

“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” you lightly scold her making you both laugh. You don’t ask but you see the pain in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t find the pain medication,” she admits sheepishly crumbling all the walls surrounding your heart at the same time. 

“I’ll get it for you.” Minutes later you return with two pills and a glass of water. She took a nasty fall last spring and her back hasn’t been the same since then. It’s why you decided to move in with her and help around the house. You sit up with her for another hour before the medication finally gives her some relief. Before going to bed, you help her into her bedroom. 

“Love you, nana.” 

- 

The next morning you’re surprised when you hear a knock on the door at 9am. You rush down the stairs to open and for once you’re left speechless. 

“Trevor?” Why on earth is he at your grandmother’s house at 9am on a Saturday?

“Did you follow me last night?” Suddenly, you’re worried you might’ve defended a complete creep. 

“No! God no,” he replies nervously, “I always come over to visit Eliana on Saturday. We play bridge. What are you doing here?” He seems genuinely confused as to what’s going on making you relax slightly. 

“Eliana is my grandmother. I just moved in a couple of days ago.” He doesn’t have a chance to respond. 

“Y/N, let him in. I’ve been waiting.” Your grandmother rummages around the kitchen which adds to the feeling of surrealness. There’s no way you defended him last night and just happens to be your grandmother’s bridge partner. Nevertheless, you step aside to let him in. You’re pretty sure you could take him. 

“Y/N. That’s a nice name.” You narrow your eyes making him laugh. The worst part is when you actually have to admit that he seems nice. The two of them play for at least two hours before your grandmother has to go lie down and as the perfect gentlemen he helps her get to bed. When he returns you’re cleaning up the kitchen. 

“I’m sorry about last night. I never should’ve gone in the first place.” 

“Then why did you?” In your mind you curse at yourself for being interested in him. You’re not too proud to admit that he’s very attractive but he’s also everything you’re not. He’s caring and kind, he never stops smiling and he’s wearing a knitted sweater that you’re pretty sure is your grandmother’s work. He’s so different from you. The scene last night was nothing new to you but for golden boy it’s probably the first time he’s been at a place like that. 

“Because I’m an idiot,” he replies unaware of the thoughts running through your head, “I was trying to get over someone and I thought I’d try to just be a normal guy in my twenties going to a nightclub. But I really hate nightclubs.” You both laugh remembering last night. Definitely not the best introduction to a night out. 

“How about eating tons of cake?” you suggest and he nods. 

“That’s probably more my style.” You can’t explain why and you’re not sure you want to, but you get out some leftover cake that your grandmother saved from the other day which is how you and Trevor end up talking for the next couple of hours. You have a sneaky suspicion that your grandmother is only pretending to sleep for that long to give you and Trevor some privacy but you find that you don’t really mind. He’s a really nice guy and despite your differences, it turns out you really do have things in common. 

“I should probably get going,” he says noticing the time. You walk him to the door where he abruptly turns around to face you. 

“Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?” 

“Trevor, you just got your heartbroken and from the sounds of it, you’re still getting over her. I’m not about to be some rebound.” His face falls but he’s quick to recover. He knows you’re right.

“I would, however, love to go on a walk with you. Completely casual and no expectations. There’s no need to rush things.” The last thing you want is to get into a relationship with someone who’s still hung up on their ex. 

“Casual. I can do casual.” You tell yourself that he won’t sweep you of your feet but as he kisses your cheek to say goodbye you feel the butterflies in your stomach and you know you’re lying to yourself. Trevor Matthews is going to worm his way into your heart and you can only hope that he won’t hurt you. Though you have a feeling Trevor wouldn’t do that. 

[zodiyack]

Changes Nothing

Requested by anon: I saw you write posts with male readers, so I was hoping you’d write this idea: Tommy Shelby’s son being gay??? I’d love to see what you come up with, i fucking love your writing!!!! 😘😘😘

Pairing: Thomas Shelby + Son!Shelby!Reader, Shelby + Gray Family + Nephew!Shelby!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, ADA BEING THE BEST AS USUAL, mention of homophobia, indications of smut, slight angst, I think that’s it

Words: 1699

Key: 'Cause I’m too lazy to think of a name, B/n = boy’s name or boyfriend’s name

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace​, @simonsbluee​, @peakysputain​, @fandom-puff​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Y/n Shelby, the son of Thomas Shelby, was a person who kept to himself. It intrigued many residents of Small Heath, but few were lucky to learn why. His family didn’t even know, but they were to find out soon enough, one way or another.

He was handsome, smart, kind, practically had all of the young women wrapped around his finger. Only eighteen but brave enough to take on the world himself. It was a wonder to almost everyone how the Y/n Shelby had yet to find himself a woman.

The truth was, Y/n had an attraction to people the same sex as himself. And male on male relationships weren’t something a lot of people accepted, so Y/n kept his secret with his social life; if he didn’t talk to a whole lot of people, he didn’t have many people to tell.

Of course, it couldn’t have been that easy. He knew that. His whole family taught him that. When something seems to easy, there’s bound to be a price for it’s doing.

Steal a car with no distraction or extra people required? Someone’ll find out soon. That or, you’ll crash or something. Why? Because there is always, always, a price.

No price had shown up so far, and it was making Y/n nervous, anxious even. Y/n had a lover now, for months, and they were doing alright. No one found out, no one hurt them, it was completely fine. But they’d both be lying if they said neither of them was worried.

They hadn’t even came out to their families! Y/n was the one with the most to lost in this situation, the most to be scared about. What if-

“Y/n?” Tommy snapped his son out of his trance-like-state. “I’ll be going somewhere with your uncles. Here’s some money,” he dropped said money into his hand, “ask Pol if you need anything. I’ll call you when I get to where I need to be, alright?”

“Yes sir, I understand.” Y/n smiled at his father, gripping the money tightly. He walked over and gave him a hug, “Bye, dad.”

“Goodbye, son. I’ll call you, so be ready!” Tom was running out the door, yelling to his oldest child as he approached the car. The two waved to each other until the car took off.

Right after the vehicle was out of sight, Y/n raced to the phone, dialing the one number he’d been waiting all week to call. “Y/n?” The voice of his beloved came through.

“B/n! Is he gone?”

“Yes, he’ll be gone for a while. Can you come over?” They talked for a few minutes, speeding through their conversation with excitement. He was eager to have his lover over after not being able to for so long. It was almost a full two months since they’d been together, the lack of intimacy being no exception.

So there they were, together after a small, quick, phone-call. In bed, lying with limbs tangled together, sweat slick on their bodies, a vulnerable moment for the two. A vulnerable sight to walk in on. And unfortunately, that’s just what happened.

Polly was just checking on Y/n, as he didn’t answer the phone like he’d promised. Tommy called her with worry, begging her to make sure his boy was okay. She argued, “he’s an adult now,” but he continued begging and begging, just needing to know his son was okay.

Opening the door to Y/n’s room, Polly released a gasp, widening her eyes upon the sight she had been greeted with. The two were covered, thankfully, but still found in the same bed, very obviously naked.

“P-Pol it’s not what it- um... it’s not what it looks-”

“I think it is what it looks like, Y/n. And I think your guest should leave so you can explain to your father that this is why you missed his call when he returns.” Her eyes were still wider than Y/n had ever seen them and her breathing was off due to the unintentional scare.

Y/n clasped his hands over his face. “Fuck...” He’d forgotten about the call.

“S-sorry.” B/n kept his head down as he slid his trousers on, grabbing the rest of his clothes when he got off the bed, and ran past Polly to get to the front door.

“Pol-”

“No. Don’t ‘Pol’ me right now. This is... you have no idea how.. how... how frightened your father was when you didn’t pick up! He demanded I come to check on you and this is what I see!”

“Are you ashamed?”

Polly blinked. “What?”

“Are you ashamed of me? Your great-nephew being a homosexual?”

“I-” She inhaled sharply, “I’m more disappointed in the fact that you didn’t trust us enough to let us know. Aside from that, I can’t think right now. Meet us in the family room when Tom arrives.” Polly closed the door behind herself, walking down to the same room she spoke of.

Y/n sighed, his head hitting the bed behind him with a soft ‘thud’. How was he going to explain this to his father?

“So, Pol says you have something to tell us.” Tommy sat down, confused due to his lack of information on the matter.

“I um...”

Polly, from the seat next to Y/n, rested her hand over Y/n’s. “You don’t have to tell them about that quite yet. Do that on your own time. For now, just explain the reason why you missed the call however you please, alright?” She whispered into his ear, expressing her change of heart since the last few hours.

“No...I have to.” He smiled at his great-aunt. “The secret’s out anyways.”

“What secret are you talking about, Y/n?” Thomas furrowed his eyebrows, laced with uncertainty.

“Well...I missed your call because I had someone over-”

“Your boy’s finally done it!” Arthur cheered, raising his drink with John, the two chaotically drunk as always. “See, Tom, told you it couldn’t’ve been bad!”

Thomas studied his son, the hesitation still present on his expression. “No. Let him finish.”

“But- he just-”

“Arthur. Tommy’s right, there’s something else, I can see it too.” Ada rested her hand on her nephew’s shoulder. The look in her eyes was heartbreaking, causing Y/n’s heart to speed up faster than it already was. He couldn’t cope if he’d hurt his family, let alone his sweet aunt, the most supportive of the bunch.

“I...It wasn’t with a girl.” He waited, allowing the sentence to be processed by each person. “It was with a-”

“Another male.” Tommy looked at the ground.

“Shit...” Arthur and John stopped celebrating, sobering almost immediately if it were possible.

The three remained quiet. Silence created the worst tension Y/n had ever felt, and he had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. Until Ada interrupted, cutting it with words like scissors.

“Could you three just get over yourselves already! Y/n has just told us something that he obviously has had a lot of trouble telling another person! Something he trusts us with, and all you do is be quiet?” She scoffed at her brothers, standing up and walking to her nephew. “Come, love.”

Sitting on his bed, Y/n told his aunt about his boyfriend. The stuff he loved about him, what he was like, how much he loved him. Ada felt special, for the first time, over joyed with how close she’d gotten to her nephew in just a few minutes.

“Ada?”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He kept his head down, similar to his father’s in the family room. “Do you think my dad hates me?”

“No... I think it’s just taking him time to process... you know? A bit hard for him to process in a couple minutes. You’re his son, someone he loves more than anything in the world, and to learn something that big... he loves you, okay?” Y/n looked at Ada, the tears starting to stream down her cheeks creating an ache in his heart.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled his aunt in for a hug. When they pulled away, he thought for a second, “Do you, support me, aunt Ada? Even if my dad doesn’t?”

“Do I support you? I had a gay roommate, Y/n! ...Of course I... Your father and that man, they worked together at one point. He didn’t care that he liked men. So that’s why I have complete faith that Tom will come around. I promise, we all love you, so so much.”

“She’s not wrong.” Y/n and Ada’s heads turned towards the door. Tommy walked in, hand in his pockets and a small smile on his lips.

“How long have you been-”

“Long enough. Ada, can I please I have a moment with my son?”

She nodded, hugging Y/n one more time before standing to leave. As she walked past Thomas, she leaned next to him to whisper before she left the room completely. “If you hurt him in any way, I will not hesitate to invite him to live with me, nor will I think twice about ruining your fucking life, Tom.”

“Y/n... I admit, it’s hard to process, but your aunt is right. Yes, you’re attracted to males, sexually and romantically, and yes, it’s is a hard thing for me to think about-” 

Y/n rolled his eyes, thinking it was going to be the same old “subtly-homophobic” talk parents these days gave their gay children, but Tommy caught on quickly, “but that changes nothing. Nothing in this world could make me hate you or stop loving you. You are my son. You like men? So be it. Invite him to a family dinner next week if you’d like-”

“Wait really?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

Y/n studied his father, smiling and hugging him tightly. Tommy’s smile returned, his arms mirroring his son’s movements and pulling his son into him.

The door creaked open, the two drunken uncles ready to say the same when they, and Polly, saw the father-son moment. The hug bringing a smile to Pol’s face as it did to Tommy and Y/n’s. She hushed her nephews as she shooed them from the room and closed the door, listening as the words left Tommy’s mouth again and again.

“This changes nothing.”

Supportive Ada comes back to defend the gays again! I love her so fucking much oh my god- anyways! How do you guys feel about a series? I know it may sound funny at first, but think about it; Ada being the cool aunt she is with her gay nephew? 

Feel free to send ideas! And speaking of sending ideas- feel free to send some requests for Elizabeth!

Also like- listen- if Ada isn’t a lesbian, bi or pan, curious, or any part of the LGBTQ+ community, she’s an ally. Like, it’s the truth- and it’s cannon

✘ Bowie

[drazzilder]

A Hellish Encounter

By Drazzilder

Chapter 15: Anger

Today is the first day that you’re on your own as a hero. It’s sort of a trail period so you can get your bearings. What makes it even more stressful is that Enji is going to be home today. You’re ok with this because you want to prove your worth. He knows you’re going to do your best which makes you feel better. Right as you are about to leave for work, Enji grabs you and pulls you in for a quick kiss.

“Please be safe today.”

“We always are safe, right Zaheer.”

“I wouldn’t say always…”

“You’re not helping… but we will be ok.”

“You better be, today is Valentine’s Day and I want you home for dinner I sent the kids away today so we will be alone.”

“Oh…then I’ll make sure to get home safely.” You say as you kiss him goodbye.

You’re on your way to work when you get a phone call from Sanji. “Mr. Hellboy, you need to hurry up and get to Tokyo Station right away. Don’t worry about checking in at the agency, I’ll handle it.”

“Um…ok, I’m on my way.”

You rush to the station and find the bullet train on fire with people inside. You quickly teleport inside and find everyone who is trapped and teleport them to safety. The final woman is scared in the corner. She is trying to use her phone for something but then you realize it’s a translator. She isn’t speaking Japanese; it takes you a moment to realize it is Icelandic.

“It’s ok. I’ll save you, just give me your hand.”

“Please save me.”

You teleport her to safety and ask if she is ok. The media is recording as you were talking to the woman. The anchorwoman comes over and starts to interview you.

“What were you saying to the woman there, it wasn’t Japanese.”

“That was Icelandic.”

“How many languages can you speak? We have heard 3 so far.”

“As a demon, I can speak every language in order to influence anyone I want.”

“Is that the demon who lives inside of you.”

“Yes, don’t worry, he’s a good guy.”

“I would never hurt anyone; I find it appalling.”

“You heard it here first, Hellboy can speak any language.”

That is when you get another phone call: “Hellboy, there is trouble in Fukui prefecture.”

“Well, I’m off, time to save more people. Stay safe.”

You teleport away and you’re off to your next mission. You have a feeling it is going to be that kind of day. From saving people from burning buildings to stopping a hostage situation, you are all over Japan. Because you can teleport, you get called all over the place. You appear in the news over and over again and it’s great that your able to prove your worth. At home, Enji is watching all of this unfold and he worries you are over exerting yourself. He knows you want to do your best but you do have a tendency to overdo it. The whole morning is crammed full of hero work when you finally get a chance to have a break when you go to eat. You open your locker and you find your locker empty. You know you had your bag when you left home, at least you thought you did.  You’re about to scream in anger but your phone rings.

“What now, Sanji?” You say in an exhausted tone.

“Hello, Hellboy.”

“Oh! Enji, sorry it’s been a busy day and the last thing I want right now is another call from Sanji.”

“I know, I have been watching the news. When were you going to tell me that you could speak different languages?”

“Honestly, I forget we can do that, it rarely comes in handy.”

“Very well. But to the point, do you want me to come in today? I don’t want you to overdo it.”

“It’s your day off, enjoy it and don’t worry about me. Also, I will pick up some ingredients for tonight to cook dinner, I found a new recipe I wanted to try.”

“You don’t have to do that, you going to be tired by the time you get home.”

“I’ll be fine, wait hold on, I got a call coming in.” *click* “Hello?”

“We got a robbery at the Tokyo department store.”

“I’ll be there in a sec.” *click* “I got to go Enji. Love you.”

“Bye (Y/N).”

Enji was all worried about you working too hard and yet you still wanted to do something nice for him. He couldn’t accept that. He has seen you cook on more than one occasion and you always make it look effortless, it couldn’t be that hard. He quickly looked up some of your favorite foods and printed a few recipes and went out to get ingredients. Everything was going great until he got back home. When he was living alone before you came back, he was just eating out or prepackaged foods the entire time. Never having cooked himself, he started with rice. He tried to follow the instructions on the bag. It started out good but he got distracted with the chicken and burned the rice so bad it turned black. He thought it would just try again after getting the chicken cooked. Somehow, he managed to make the chicken as hard as a rock but he didn’t burn it. The pan though didn’t make it unscathed and was covered in a thick layer of burned flour. He suddenly sees the oven is smoking and he opens the door. Smoke comes billowing out and the smoke detectors are going off throughout the whole house. Everything is a disaster. Enji just hopes he can clean up before you get home but then a blue flash appears.

“Shit!” He thought.

“Enji I’m home…. what is happening!”

“I…uh….my….”

“Just move.” You drop the bags you were holding and push Enji aside. It takes a minute but you manage to stop the fire in the oven.

“I told you I was going to cook when I got home!” You say holding the burnt oven pan.

“I just wanted to surprise you. I tried cooking but….”

“I told you I would take care of it. Why didn’t you listen to me?” Your voice begins to rise as your emotions start to heat up.

“Why are you yelling at me? I just wanted to make Valentine’s Day special!”

“And now I have to clean this whole mess!” You say slamming the pan into the sink. “How did you burn rice? You put it in the rice cooker!” You say pointing to the machine Enji never noticed before.

“How am I supposed to know that thing cooked rice?!”

“IT SAYS RICE COOKER RIGHT ON IT AND YOU BOUGHT IT, YOU SHOULD KNOW!”

“I’M TOO BUSY TO REMEMBER ALL OF THAT!”

“THAT’S YOUR EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING!”

“WHEN YOU’RE THE NUMBER 2 HERO, YOU TELL ME HOW MUCH FREE TIME YOU HAVE!!”

“DON’T FORGET THAT I’M A HERO TOO AND I HAVE A DEMON INSIDE OF ME THAT I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF! IM BUSY ALL THE TIME AND I STILL FIND TIME TO MAKE YOUR FAVORITE MEAL!” You grab the bag and start pulling out ingredients.

“WHAT?!”

“I WAS PLANING THIS FOR DAYS, I MADE TIME TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN! SEE!”

Enji takes the ingredients from you and knows that they are for his favorite food, kuzumochi. You two stay silent for a moment while standing in the kitchen. Both of your faces are red with anger but you manage to calm down a little bit before you speak again.

“Just…. leave the kitchen…. I’ll clean up and cook dinner.” You say sounding defeated.

“Fine!”

Enji goes to the other room literally steaming at this point. He is angry that you got mad at him trying to make your day better. But when he thinks about it more, all he did was make it worse. You came home to a house almost on fire and now you’re cleaning it up by yourself. He can’t believe that after the day you had, you still wanted to cook his favorite dish. Enji knows his temper can be short but sometimes he forgets that you can emotional too. His heart begins to sink as he hears you cleaning and cooking. He just sits down on the couch, silently listening. You call him to the kitchen and you both eat in deafening silence. Once you finish, you get up.

“Just wash the dishes. I’m going to shower and I’ll be sleeping in my old room tonight. Goodnight.”

If Enji’s heart sunk before, it now fell to the floor after hearing that. He upset you so much that you didn’t want to sleep with him. He just cleans the dishes quietly and waits for you to go to bed. He tries to go to his bed for the night but he looks at himself in the mirror. That man is in the mirror again, a man who is selfish to the point of ignorance. He punches the mirror in anger, in a futile effort to kill that man. The mirror shatters into a cascade of shards and his hand starts to bleed from the broken glass. After he bandages his hand, he goes to bed. He tries to sleep for about an hour when his emotions come to a boil. He gets up and goes to your room and finds you trying to sleep, but sees a few tears running down your face. Kneeling down next to you, he gently places a hand to your face. You open your eyes to a crying Enji and it breaks your heart.

“I’m sorry Enji, I just was so tired and seeing the mess you made just broke me. The last thing I wanted to do was clean after the day I had. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.” You say starting to cry.

Enji now is crying harder than you. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to surprise you but if I listened tonight would have been fine. I got selfish in my desire to surprise you and look what happened. I hurt you and made things worse.”

You shift on the bed so Enji can join you as you both start crying in each other’s arms; Enji resting his head on yours as you use his chest as a cover for your sobs.

“(Y/N), do you still love me?” He asks with a few tears in his eyes.

“You know I do. It was just a moment of weakness. It is part of love. We want to be there for the best moments but need to be there for the worst. It was only a matter of time before we fought.”

“I’m just doubting myself right now, I don’t want to hurt you. I feel like I don’t deserve you.”

“Of course you deserve me. You love me, don’t you? And I love you. You know we are not perfect; we make mistakes.”

“I know but I just don’t know what I did for you to stay this long. Sometimes I fear that you will leave me one day and the kids will leave me and I’ll be alone again.”

“Enji… I know what it’s like to be alone. I would never wish that on anyone. As long as I am alive, I will never leave you. You have nothing to fear.”

“I’m sorry for doubting you…I forget how strong your will is sometimes.”

“That’s ok, I forget how short your temper can be. Let’s just talk about today. I appreciate that you wanted to do something special for me but please let me teach you how to cook first.”

“I need to listen more; I know I was trying to do something nice but I need to think about how it might affect you.”

The both of you just lay there, calming each other through touch. As you are hugging Enji, you sense something is still wrong. He is still so tense and the heat coming from him hasn’t died down at all. “Is there still something wrong, Enji? Wait, your hand. What happened to your hand?” You say as you finally feel the bandages against your back.

“I punched the mirror.”

“Please don’t tell me...”

“I saw him in the mirror again.”

“Enji, look at me.” You pull back to look him right in the eyes. “Please don’t go down that road. You have come too far to go there again. Come on, let me show you something.”

You both get up and you walk to the guest bath. Enji doesn’t want to go but you coax him in and you both look in the mirror. He sees you; your eyes are still full of tears and sadness. He then turns toward himself, fearing what he might see. When he opens his eyes, he sees a man with tears on his face and sorrow in his eyes. The man he hates would never be sad, let alone cry. When he looks back at you, you are smiling through your tears and he starts crying again.

“I don’t see him this time. I just see myself. That man would never cry over anything. He was only full of anger and resentment.”

“I know you make some mistakes but remember how far you have come. You are not that man in the past.” You say holding his face in your hands.

“I don’t want to be him; I just want to be me. I want to be a good father, a good partner, to make all of you happy.” Enji says as he starts holding you.

“I know you can be those things. It just time but I know you are heading in the right direction. Now let’s calm down and get to bed.”

You both go to bed and talk a little more, making sure that both of you are ok. Enji is still a little wound up but you manage to bring him down. After a little bit of time, you both manage to fall asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms.

Next Chapter

[infested-tea]

Monoma x Tetsutetsu Bday One-shot

I missed his birthday! FUCK!!! Ok. Happy late birthday Monoma!

Also some line breaks are off bc Tumblr is being a shithead.

Also, Tetsutetsu is trans bc I headcanon him as that and is mid transition so...

I love this ship so fucking much and it’s great.

Warning for: A bunch of fluff! Little bit of angst Monoma, a mention of abuse,

Also, these two will be dating throughout High School and are now adults, takes place one year after graduation.

Alright let’s go!

Favorite Places

Tetsutetsu let out a sigh. He stared at his beautiful boyfriend lying on his chest. He held him tighter with a hum.

The two spent the night together in Neito’s apartment. The blond said he had been feeling lonelier than normal lately. So, of course Tetsutetsu had to come. It was the manliest thing to do!

The sun outside was beginning to peak its yellow face out from behind the blinds. Tetsutetsu grabbed his phone, he saw a text from Kendo.

Big Fist: Did you forget Monoma’s birthday?

Tetsutetsu felt a rush of panic. It completely slipped his mind! He didn’t even have a gift! Usually, Neito would love being spoiled and would remind him every year so Tetsutetsu could do it. Strangely, he didn’t this year.

Iron Hide: ...Maybe...

Big Fist: You did. Oh lord. Tetsu, you better find something to please him. You know how he gets.

Iron Hide: I know... I promise! I’ll make it the best ever.

Big Fist: You better. He’s a lil’ shit buts he’s out lil’ shit.

Big Fist: He’s been kinda off recently. Has he told you anything?

Iron Hide: No. He told me yesterday to come over. He’s been really distant lately.

Tetsutetsu heard Neito shift with a sigh. Tetsutetsu quickly texted Kendo goodbye before smiling down at the blond on top of him. Neito’s blue eyes fluttered open, being greeted to a toothy grin from a silver-haired iron shark.

“Morning, Neito!” Tetsutetsu greeted cheerily. Neito hummed in response, snuggling closer to Tetsutetsu’s face and kissing his cheek. Tetsutetsu felt his face warm up. He heard the blond chuckle.”Morning.” He smiled sleepily.

Tetsutetsu loved mornings like this. It was the one time Monoma was Neito, instead of just Monoma. He would smile easier and was so much more relaxed. And then they had to go out into public, and Monoma changed. His shell came back.

Now, Monoma had become less of an egotistical, slightly unhinged maniac. But, the facade of “I’m better than you” never truly dropped away fully unless Monoma was comfortable being Neito around you.

And Neito trusted no one more than iron boy. And Tetsutetsu knew that, and promised himself he would never betray it.

Tetsutetsu kissed Neito’s forehead with a smile.”I love you. So much.” He mumbled. Neito’s face went beat red at his words. He pouted.”Unfair...” He protested. Tetsutetsu giggled. He always did that whenever the silver-haired boy said those magic words.

Neito sighed contently.”I love you too.” Tetsutetsu beamed at him. He wrapped his arms around Neito’s smaller frame and cuddled him. Neito felt his face redden as he was buried deeper into his boyfriend’s chest.

Everything was quiet for a moment, Tetsutetsu softly stroking the blond’s soft hair and Neito refusing to show his face. Until, the blond’s hold on his boyfriend’s shirt tightened. Tetsutetsu’s gaze immediately shot to the blond in worry. “What’s wrong?” Tetsutetsu asked.

Neito mumbled something that was muffled by the shirt. Tetsutetsu repeated the question.”I said nothing!” He snapped.

Tetsutetsu went quiet. He looked at Neito with sad puppy-dog eyes.”I’m sorry... I’ve just been worried. You’ve been... off the past couple of days.”

Neito looked away from Tetsutetsu, biting his thumb. Something he usually did when he was overthinking. Tetsutetsu sat up and cradled Neito.”You’ve been weird the past couple of days, baby... It scares me when you don’t tell me what’s bother you. You know I’m always here for you and-“

Tears burst out of Neito eyes. Tetsutetsu instinctively burst forward and trapped Neito in a tight, protective hug.

Neito sobbed for what felt like forever. And all Tetsutetsu could do was rock back and forth gently and run his fingers through the blond’s hair comfortingly.

After a while, Neito’s shoulders stopped heaving and his breathing became steadier. A few tears still slipped down his face, but Tetsutetsu kissed them away.

Neito held onto Tetsutetsu tightly.”My dad...” Was all he mumbled out. Tetsutetsu felt a familiar spark of anger at the mention. He looked at Neito worriedly, inspecting him.”He didn’t lay a hand on you did he? What happened? Are you ok?” Tetsutetsu stopped at the last question. He clicked his tongue.”Well... obviously not. But that’s not the point!” Tetsutetsu grabbed Neito’s chin so he would look at him. The blond’s red, tear-stained face and puffy eyes made his chest ache. And his own dad did this. Though Tetsutetsu himself was all to familiar with parents like Monoma’s.

Neito shook his head. He wiped his eyes furiously. Tetsutetsu knew how much Monoma hated crying. He thought he looked ugly when he did.

Tetsutetsu moved the blond’s hands, taking them in his and rubbing his boyfriends palms with his thumbs. Neito didn’t look at him. He was quietly sobbing at this point. Tetsutetsu laid a kiss on Monoma’s lips.

“Hey. You’re with me today, ok? It’s just me and you. All day.” Tetsutetsu reassured, wrapping his arms gently around Neito in a hug. Neito gripped onto the silver-haired boy’s shirt as if Tetsutetsu would float away if he didn’t.

“So, what happened?” Tetsutetsu asked. Neito felt tears threaten to overflow again. Tetsutetsu rested a hand on his blond hair, shushing him quietly. Neito quieted down to a whimper. He refused to look at his boyfriend, burying his trash face in his shirt.

“My dad... he...” Neito trailed off, his voice went from a sob to pure rage.”When I told him I wouldn’t spend dinner with him for my birthday instead of you, he started yelling at me. Going on about how filthy I was for being a queer and how stupid I was for thinking I was with a man over a women.” His eyes darted to Tetsutetsu, full of desperation.”You are a man! You’re my prince! And I tried to tell him that you are a boy, no matter what a damn peace of paper says, and he kept going on and on about how stupid I was. And how you were fucking pathetic. I couldn’t take it anymore! I couldn’t deal with it.” Neito’s voice became like ice.”I don’t care anymore if he insults me or hits me. But if he brings you into it...” Neito gritted his teeth, looking down, gripping onto Tetsutetsu until his knuckles were white.”I get so mad... I get so fucking angry. And I couldn’t... I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I had to walk away. Like you guys always tell me to do. But he kept following me and insisting I was an issue, and calling you all this fucked up bullshit. The bastard... I tried defending you, Tetsu! I really did! But it was to much. He cut me... even when I tried to walk away. I tried to run. And I did... and I felt like such a fucking coward...” Neito trailed off, looking away in shame from his boyfriend.

“Neito...” Tetsutetsu pulled the smaller boy into a tight hug, catching the blond off guard.”Don’f listen to that bastard! You’re amazing! And beautiful! And incredible! And the fucking manliest man ever and I love you so much! I’m so sorry you’re dad doesn’t see that!” Tetsutetsu nuzzled into Neito’s neck. He heard Monoma let out a faint chuckle, he felt a hand on his silver hair. Neito sniffed.”Thank you, Tetsu.”

The silver-haired boy kissed Monoma’s forehead.”Of course!” Neito smiled softly to himself. Tetsutetsu chuckled, nuzzling Neito’s face with his own. Neito’s face was beet red.

Tetsutetsu chuckled, laying his forehead against the blond’s.”You’re so cute.” He mumbled. Neito ruffled Tetsutetsu’s hair.”I feel like you’re addressing the wrong person.” He replied smoothly. Tetsutetsu laughed, blushing.”Hey, Neito. Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday today? You always do. You know how much of an airhead I am.” Tetsutetsu muttered.

Neito eyes widened.”Why? It’s my birthday? I completely forgot...” Neito breathed. Tetsutetsu eyes widened in alarm. He tackled Neito in a hug.”You forgot you’re own birthday... That’s how much this was bothering you, huh?” Neito nodded. Tetsutetsu kissed Monoma on the cheek.”Y’know, Imma spoil you today! Even more than I did last year! This is gonna be the best birthday ever for you!” He stated determinedly.

Neito looked at Tetsutetsu shyly with a small smile.”You better.” He mumbled. He kissed his cheek and wrapped his arms around Tetsutetsu’s neck.”Though I don’t know how you can top this.” Neito commented.

Tetsutetsu puffed out his chest.”I am gonna try. A man conquers any challenge full force!” He announced proudly. Neito ruffled his hair and kissed him.”Yeah... just don’t rush in head first this time.” He joked. Tetsutetsu hugged Neito tightly.”I thought you liked that about me...” he pouted. Neito sighed, rolling his eyes.”I do. But I also need to reign in your worst habits.”

Tetsutetsu narrowed his eyes at him. Neito booped his nose.”Come on. Get ready.” Neito walked out of the room, Tetsutetsu watching him go with a blush. Neito often wore booty shorts to bed and... well...

Neito leaned out of the door to see Tetsutetsu staring off into space. He sighed.”Lovely. You need to get ready and stop staring at my ass.” Neito left before his voice came out from the hall.”And remember to brush your hair.”

Tetsutetsu took a couple minutes to get ready. Throw on a binder, a baggy shirt, and sweats. And some basic hygiene. While Neito, took twenty minutes.

But, Tetsutetsu was a patient soul. And he knew Monoma liked putting on make-up in the morning. At least he didn’t take an hour like during pride.

Neito came out, hair done and face pretty. He wore a casual shirt with a black jacket and pants. Tetsutetsu felt himself blush. Frankly, Neito looked great in anything. And this was no exception.

“Alright, where too then? Since you’re spoiling me.” Neito asked innocently. Tetsutetsu thought for a moment. He would say the arcade, because then he could win Monoma a plushie. As it is a tradition for Tetsutetsu to get him one every once in a while. And by that, that means about every few months.

But he needed to go above and beyond. He hit his hand into his fist at an idea. He grabbed Neito by the hand and dragged him out of his apartment and down the road. Tetsutetsu was a hero. And his paycheck had come in for the month.

“W-where are we going?” Neito asked.”You’ll see!” Was all his boyfriend replied, smiling to himself.

Neito followed quietly when the two arrived at a fancy looking restaurant. It was a high tower, glass walls at the top of the building. Normally, you would have to book a reservation. But heroes had special access as long as they paid a little extra.

Neito looked at Tetsutetsu in surprise. Tetsutetsu was probably the polar opposite of Monoma when it came to what they prefer to dates. A date to Tetsutetsu was the gym or just cuddling at home watching a movie. To Neito, it was a fancy dinner and also cuddling at home.

So, for them to come to a place like this, took Neito off guard. Tetsutetsu seemed to realize something.”Oh... I nearly forgot.” He looked at Neito thoughtfully.”You want me to call Aoyama, Kendo, Ojiro, and Shinso over?”

Neito thought for a moment. He hugged Tetsutetsu from behind.”No. I just want you today.” He mumbled. Tetsutetsu hummed. He patted Monoma on the head.”Alright.” He replied warmly.

The two walked in, Tetsutetsu getting a table after a bit of begging. Although neither of them were dressed to fit the scene, maybe Monoma, Tetsutetsu on the other hand...

Although, Monoma didn’t really cared about the stares of the waiters or the customers. Neither were popular heroes. Not yet anyway. But it was only year 1. They had plenty of time.

Tetsutetsu however, was shrinking back underneath the intense, judgemental gaze. Neito never knew why it was judgement that Tetsutetsu was afraid of. He was so laid back and sociable all the time, it was a stark contrast.

Monoma started leading Tetsutetsu around the restaurant. He squeezed his boyfriends hand gently. Tetsutetsu seemed to snap out of his gaze. He walked closer to Monoma who led them to the elevator to the top floor. It was more private up there, and Tetsutetsu paid even more than he would’ve to sit up there.

Because there, you could see the entire city. Even if it was just midday, it was still a pretty sight. And it was Monoma’s favorite spot anywhere. Well... almost. It was a close third. There were two more.

Tetsutetsu and him sat in a booth far away from the few people that were already there. Neito looked at Tetsutetsu gratefully. Under the table, he took Tetsu’s hand and intertwined their fingers. He rested his head on the taller boys shoulders. Tetsutetsu felt himself blush profusely.

The waiter come over and seemed to stare at the two. Neito shot up, but kept his hand on Tetsutetsu’s. The two quickly ordered their food. Tetsutetsu of course, trying to order anything with spinach in it. Monoma getting his own french cuisine.

The two ate, and ended up talking, mostly Tetsutetsu going on about work and other things while Neito ended up complaining about 1A or a comic he read that day.

It was almost dusk by the time they finished. Neito sighed to himself.”Time truly does fly.” He commented, looking as the sky was just beginning to turn pink. Tetsutetsu was stuffing cake in his face. Neito gave him a sideways glance and he paused, fork in mouth. He smiled at Neito and Neito felt himself blush.

“We should get going. It’s getting late.” He mumbled. Tetsutetsu nodded in response.

The two got out to the street, the sun dipping down into the horizon. Tetsutetsu looked at it, than at Neito. The blond’s eyes were fixed to the sky, the colors reflecting in those already beautiful blue orbs.

Tetsutetsu thought again for a moment. Since they took so long eating, well... dinner would probably be skipped. At least for Monoma. He was always so picky when it comes to overeating.

“So, what now?” Neito asked. Tetsutetsu hummed cheerily, leading Neito to the docks. Neito followed quietly and curiously, unknowing of Tetsutetsu’s brilliant plan.

It was a bit of a walk, Neito’s feet started hurting by this point, when they approached a warehouse. Neito looked at it in suspicion.

Tetsutetsu hummed to himself as he opened the door. The two climbed to the roof, where Neito felt his stomach churn.

Neito’s second favorite spot was a double-edged sword. At one hand, he got to watch the sunset. On the other hand...

Monoma looked the ground. It was at least 2 stories below him. He gripped Tetsutetsu’s arm, feeling himself get sick. Tetsutetsu held him tight.”Hey. It’s ok. I won’t let ya fall.” Tetsutetsu soothed. Monoma nodded.

He glanced out from between Tetsutetsu’s arms as he was sat on the taller boy’s lap. He felt his boyfriend’s warmth against his own, soothed by the tight arms. He let out a shaky breath as he leaned back and stared at the sunset.

The sun was peaking its head, dipping it into the sea, lighting the sky aflame with oranges, reds, and yellows all blending together as if a painter took a brush to it themself. Neito closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the sea mixed with Tetsutetsu’s breathing. He snuggled into Tetsu’s chest. He felt Tetsu’s arms wrapped around him tighter, nuzzling into the blond’s hair with a happy sigh.”I love you.” He mumbled.

Monoma suddenly remembered the feelings he had for the past month. The guilt he had for not defending Tetsu like he should’ve.”Tetsu... I love you too but...” He looked away from the iron-quirked boy.

Tetsutetsu felt a tug of fear in his heart.”What’s the matter?” He asked, eyesbrows furrowed. Neito sighed.”I still... I’m guilty I didn’t defend you... from my dad. It pisses me off. He pisses me off. I don’t...” Neito felt tears well up.

Tetsutetsu hugged Neito tightly.”It’s ok, Neito. And hey... you walked away like you’ve been told too. I’m proud of you for that. I know stuff like that is hard. But I’m so damn proud of you. And we don’t have to listen to that damn bastard and his dumbass opinions. We’re happy and that’s all that matters, alright Neito?” Tetsutetsu looked at the blond with a glance full of all his love, passion, and affection he had for him and then some. Neito felt his heart flutter at the gaze. Tears streamed down his face at his words. He smiled as he hugged Tetsutetsu.

This was his favorite place anywhere. In the arms of the one he loves most, and the one who loves him most.

Tetsutetsu looked at him in alarm.”Are you ok? You’re crying again.” Neito kissed Tetsutetsu on the lips, in a brief but sweet kiss. Neito wiped his eyes.”Yeah, I’m fine.” His make-up was probably messed up at this point, but he didn’t care.

“Tetsu... My Prince. Love of my life. Thank you.” Monoma whispered earnestly. Tetsutetsu smiled at him softly. He planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Of course.” Tetsutetsu hugged him.”I’m so proud of you. How strong you are. How brave. How incredibly beautiful. Everything.” Tetsutetsu felt his breath caught in his throat as the sun reflect off of Monoma’s face like a perfect picture painted by a skillful hand. His make-up was messed up and eyes red. But he was beautiful nonetheless.

Neito out his forehead against Tetsu’s as the silver-haired boy kept mumbling his praises. Neito shushed him by putting a finger to his lips.”Hush and look at me.” Tetsutetsu’s face was red as he did so. ‘So close.’ He thought.

Neito kissed his lips.”I’m proud of you too, lovely.” He whispered. Tetsutetsu beamed at the praise.

Neito laughed again at him. And the two stayed there for the rest of the time, watching stars for the sky.

Neito was in his favorite place on earth now.

Home.

Home, for him, was Tetsutetsu, and he would always appreciate that.

[fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan]

Surprising Turns - Matthew Tkachuk

Notes: So this is probably one of the longest single shot stories I have ever written! Lately I have been sleeping like trash, normally waking up between 3 and 4 in the morning. And this is what I have been working on during that time for the last couple of weeks. The idea just popped in my head one morning. I hope you enjoy!

Even after close to 2 years dating Matt long road trips were still the worst. He was always good about calling at least once a day, filling each day with random texts and snapchats when he had the time. It made the time we were separated a little less lonely, made me feel like he was still a part of my day to day life. Needless to say I was excited for him to get home today. I knew he would be home by the time I got off work, leaving the office around 6:30 and heading to our shared apartment. I peaked my head in my boss’s office, “I’m gonna head out if you don’t need anything.”

“No, have a good night and tell Matt he did a good job on the road trip.” I nodded before saying goodbye, making sure my desk was okay before leaving. I loved my job as an executive assistant, it was actually the reason I met Matt. The architecture firm I work at donated a prize to a fundraising gala the Flames were holding and I was tasked with dropping off the basket. I ran straight into Matt and landed flat on my ass, he apologized and convinced me to get coffee with him. That was the beginning of us and it was one of the best things that happened to me. Stepping into the apartment I pulled off my coat and kicked off my heels before moving further in the apartment. I was surprised to not hear the tv or Matt yelling into a headset as he played video games with his teammates, the only time Matt was quiet was when he was sleeping. 

“Matt, are you home?" Walking further into the apartment I found Matt sitting on the couch, staring at the black screen of the TV. "Matt, did you not hear me call your name?" Seeing how he was blankly staring had me worried, sitting down next to him I tried to get his attention. "What's wrong?"

He didn't turn to look at me, still staring straight ahead as he spoke. "I don't think we should see each other anymore Rachel." If I wasn’t sitting I would have fallen onto the couch as my knees gave out. 

“I don’t understand. You went on a week and a half road trip and at some point decided that you don't want to date anymore.” Matt finally looked at me, sadness and regret in his eyes and I nodded. “It’s not that you don’t want to date, it’s that you don’t want to date me.” When he didn’t argue I stood up and moved down to the bedroom without another word. I quickly grabbed out my two large suitcases and started pulling my clothes out of the closet, not bothering to fold them as I tossed them into the suitcase on the bed. Matt walked into the room after a few minutes, finding a small spot on the bed to sit. 

“What are you doing?”

“Packing up my stuff.”

“Why?”

“Matt! You just broke up with me, if you think I am staying here tonight you must have been hit in the head with multiple pucks during your road trip.” I didn’t even look up from what I was doing after that, as I packed up all of my important things I made a point of not touching anything Matt had gifted to me in our two years. Once both suitcases were filled and closed I packed up a backpack with a few more important things all while Matt just sat there watching me. 

I got the suitcases off the bed and that finally got Mat moving. “Where are you going to stay tonight? I can sleep in the guest room tonight.”

“I don’t know. I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff at some point.” Matt looked like he wanted to say something but I didn’t give him a chance as I walked away. Pulling the suitcases I walked out of the apartment that I called my home for over a year now, I waited outside of the apartment for a few minutes, hoping that Matt would come running out. When he didn’t I knew it was really over, tears starting to flow as I went down to my car, using my phone to find a hotel for the night and sending an email that I would be taking a day off work. My heart had shattered as I left the apartment but I didn't have time for that now, I needed to figure out my life.

That night I spent crying in a hotel room, eating ice cream straight from the container and figuring out what kind of apartment I could afford. The next day I found a long term business hotel that would work. When I stepped into my new living space I started crying again, being here was just the final nail in the coffin of my relationship with Matt. Sinking down on the floor I only had a few minutes to cry my eyes out again before my phone was ringing. I stupidly answered without looking to see who it was and I regretted it immediately. “Hello.”

“Any idea why Matt was in such a bad mood today at practice?” Hearing Johnny’s voice made my heart ache, it just hit me that I was losing a whole lot more than Matt, I was losing all of his teammates and their significant others. “Hello? Rachel? Did I lose you?”

“Matt broke up with me last night.”

“What? What happened?”

“I don’t know, I came home from work and he was just sitting on the couch staring at the wall. He said that he didn’t think we should see each other anymore, no further explanation.”

“Where are you now?”

“A corporate, long term hotel. I couldn’t find anything else last minute.”

“Shit. Do you need anything?” 

“No, I’m good. Thank you Johnny.”

“Rachel, you know you can call if you need anything. Just because Matt has his head stuck up his ass doesn’t mean that you lose all of us.”

“I have to get going, thank you for calling.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Hanging up I tried to hold the sobs back but they broke through as I made my way to the bed. 

The next few days were hard; all I did was go to work and try not to cry and then cry at my new place of living. Matt’s teammates and their girls called all the time but I just ignored them all. I needed to separate myself from the life I used to have. Luckily work as a secretary kept me busy and by the time I went home everyday I barely had the energy to eat dinner and clean up before I was climbing in bed. And I kept that routine going for a while until Mark and Lauren Giardano were knocking on my door on a Saturday about a month after the breakup.

"I - how did you guys find me?"

"Johnny still has your UberEats login information. He looked up to see where food had been delivered lately."

“Um, do you want to come in? I don’t have a lot of sitting room…”

“How about we go down to the coffee shop in the lobby?” Lauren offers, seeing my discomfort. I nod, sliding on the flip flops I had next to the door and grabbing my phone and key card before walking out of the room. We were all quiet until we sat at a table in the back of the coffee shop. “How are you doing?”

“I’m keeping my head above water.”

“Really? Because, and don't take this the wrong way, you look horrible." Mark said and I let out a soft chuckle.

"Is there a right way to take that?"

"Probably not, but you look exhausted." Which I was, while I felt like all I did in the room was sleep it was never a restful, refreshing sleep. "Why don't you move in with us until you can find a real place to live, not this grey box you are in now."

"We have the guest suite all set up in the basement. Have a real homemade meal, not the peanut butter and jelly and take out you are living on now."

"I-. Thank you for the offer but really I'm fine. I'm actually going to see a few apartments in a little bit."

"Then we can come with you, the kids are all at friends' today. We have to make sure you pick a good place." Lauren said and I was about to argue when I saw Mark's captainly stern face. I quietly agreed, saying I needed to go get ready but would be down in 30 minutes and we could head out towards the first apartment. Nausea hit me like a wave in the elevator and barely made it into my room and bathroom before I was hunched over the toilet.

I desperately want to tell Lauren and Mike that I was sick and wasn't up for apartment hunting but I knew that would just lead to them pushing me to move in with them. Splashing some cold water on my face and quickly brushing my teeth I pulled on a sweater dress and some leggings that made it look like I put in effort when all I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and cry all day. I switched my flop flops for a pair of low heeled boots before fixing my ponytail. Not bothering with makeup I grabbed my bag and headed back downstairs to get this day over with.

The three of us spent the afternoon looking at different apartments, I kept my opinions to myself while listening to Mark and Lauren hint at the fact they wanted me to move in with them. My unexpected day with them extended further into the evening when they insisted I come over for dinner. I sat at their kitchen island as the two of them worked together to make dinner. 

All day I could tell they wanted to ask about Matt and finally I was done with the questioning looks. "Just ask your questions already."

"What happened between the two of you?" Lauren asked as she offered me some wine, I shook my head no. The nausea from before had come back and I was barely able to push it down. 

"I don't know. When he left he told me he loved me and when he got back we would have a date night out somewhere. He kept bringing it up whenever we would talk. Then I got home from work on the day you guys got back and he said he didn't think we should see each other anymore."

"Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry."

"I just don't know what happened between us in such a short time. And I just don't know how I'm supposed to move on from it, it feels like my heart was ripped out and nothing is going to fill the hole.”

“He's an idiot." I looked up to see Mark with a plate of grilled chicken and an angry look on his face. Before I could say anything else another wave of nausea hit me and I hopped off the stool and made it to the bathroom just in time to lose the content of my stomach for a second time that day. When I was finally able to lift my head away from the toilet I saw Mark and Lauren standing in the doorway of their powder room. "I’m sorry, I think with everything going on I caught a stomach bug that has been going around the office. I think I’m just gonna head home and change into sweats and sleep.”

“We’ll drive you back.” I just nod, grabbing my coat and following Lauren and Mark out to their car. It was a quiet and peaceful ride back to my current address and when the car stopped in front of the building I hesitated before getting out. 

"Thanks for coming to check on me and thank you for looking at those apartments with me."

"Of course. Just because Matt is a fucking idiot doesn't mean that we have to stop being friends. We will always be there for you." I give a quick nod and a weak smile before opening the car door. "Rachel, think about our offer." Another quick nod and then I hurried out the door and into the building.

The tears started to flow as soon as I was in the elevator, the knowledge hitting me that if I had any chance of moving on from this heartbreak and getting over Matt I needed to cut every part of that relationship out of my life. And that meant losing all the friends I had on the team, friends that were basically my only family. I knew that if I still spent time with them I would see Matt and I didn’t think my heart could handle it. So that night as tears would spill intermittently, I found another apartment to look at the next day.

By the time the sun rose the next morning I had a plan. I knew where the guys and their families spent their time, I would avoid all of those places which was easy enough. I changed the password on my UberEats account so I wouldn’t have another ambush from any of his teammates. In all honesty I really wanted to just pack up and move somewhere else and start over, but my grandfather was still here and I wanted to be close to him, he was the only family I had left. Once it was a more normal hour I went to see the new apartment, determining that it would work and signing the contract before I left.

Even after being at the long term hotel a month I had barely unpacked so checking out only took an hour before I was driving to my new apartment. Luckily the apartment came fully furnished so I just had to run to Target for some basics like plates, silverware, cookware, towels, and sheets. I also got some groceries for the week, happy to finally have a kitchen again so I could stop having PB&J or takeout for every meal.

By the time I fell into bed that night I was content, it wasn't home but it was as close as I could get right now. I was almost asleep when my phone started buzzing on the nightstand, I took one look at the screen seeing the caller ID as 🏒🚫 and swiping to ignore the call.

I wasn't sure who it was, any person in my phone that was associated with Matt got that combination of emojis as a replacement for their name. I knew if I just deleted the contacts I would answer the unknown phone number, this way I knew it was someone hockey related and to not answer. Once the screen went black, I rolled over and willed myself to sleep. 

***

After a few weeks of my new normal I had a new issue in my life, I was still feeling sick and after throwing up at work one of the other assistants came into the bathroom to check on me. “Rachel, is there any possibility you are pregnant?” I wanted to immediately refute the question, but then it made me stop and think. It was a possibility and it terrified me. “Let’s go for a quick walk to a pharmacy and get a test, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Taking the test in the pharmacy bathroom was nerve wracking. When the test was looking back at me with the bold words, ‘PREGNANT’, I had a million emotions run through me. Jenn grabbed my hand when she saw the results. 

“I am here, however you need me.” 

“Thank you, I don’t have a lot of friends now.” Jenn just nodded before grabbing a few things and paying for them, nodding at the door of the store. 

“These should help with your morning sickness, my sister in law swore on these when she was pregnant. I can also call her to ask who her OBGYN was, she loved her.” She handed me a pack of ginger candies, giving me a soft smile as I nodded.

“Thank you, I have no clue what I need to do.”

***

I was leaving my 28 week doctor appointment and craving a soft pretzel. Getting in my car I decided to stop at the grocery store to get some frozen soft pretzels that I could make when I got home. While I was looking at other things I might want from the frozen section, I heard a voice I never expected to hear again. “Rachel?”

I dropped my shopping basket, causing a loud crash in the store as I turned around to see Matt standing behind me with his hands shoved in the pockets of his shorts and a Flames baseball cap covering some of his curly hair. I watched as a variety of emotions ran across his face, before his eyes stayed on my not so small baby bump. “Hi Matt.”

“Um…”

“Just ask the question already Matt, I don’t want to stand in the frozen aisle all day.” I knew I was bitchy when I said it, but I didn’t care. My feet and back hurt, and this conversation was putting more time between me and my soft pretzel. 

“Is it mine?”

“Unless you can get pregnant eating Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, then yes he's yours.” Matt just stood there, not saying anything or doing anything so I just grabbed my basket and went to leave the aisle when I heard his footsteps follow me. “Rachel, please.”

“My frozen stuff is defrosting.” Just seeing him hurt, seven months didn’t make me love him any less. I was doing my best to keep a wall up but all I wanted to do was hug him and never let go. “I have to go Matt.”

“Can we just talk? Please, I have so much to say to you.” I knew I was going to regret it but I heard myself speaking before I could stop myself.

“Okay.”

“Come over to my new house? You can put your stuff in the freezer while we talk.” I wanted to make up any excuse possible that I couldn't do it today, so I could run away and never look back. But I found myself nodding before he took the basket from my hands and led me towards the check out. I followed him in my car, surprised as we drove into a new development of houses. Pulling into a driveway I was in awe of the craftsman style house I was looking at. Matt was opening my car door before I even unbuckled, too in awe of the house in front of me to move.

"Your house is beautiful."

"Thanks, they finally finished construction at the end of July, only 3 months behind schedule." That statement confused me, as I was thinking about that, Matt helped me out of the car before grabbing my groceries and guiding me inside the beautiful front door. The inside was just as gorgeous as the outside and I smiled when I spotted a framed picture of him and his family. 

"How is your family?"

"Good. Mom is already trying to plan a trip to visit, I think it's mainly to make sure I haven't ruined the hard work she did with decorating the inside of the house. Taryn is still pissed at me for breaking up with you, she barely spoke to me for 4 months." Matt let out a nervous chuckle before rubbing his neck and leading me further into his house. He showed me to what I'm guessing is the living room before murmuring that he would be right back. I slowly sat on the loveseat, looking around the room and tucking my feet under my body.

Every single part of my mind was screaming at me to forget the groceries and run. Run away before my heart broke the rest of the way. But running wasn't really an option right now, it all just felt like waddling at this point. While I was debating with myself I didn't notice Matt was back until he stood in front of me, offering a glass of water. "Thank you."

He nodded before sitting down on the couch, turning to face me. "How far along are you?"

"28 weeks. About 7 months." 

“Fuck. Were you ever going to tell me?”

“So you could be a yearly visit and a card on every birthday and holiday?”

“And what makes you think I would be that? That I wouldn’t want to be a part of my kid’s life?!”

“Because you pushed me out of your life after a road trip! The day you were coming home you told me in the morning that you were planning a date for us and by the time I got home from work you were telling me you didn’t want to date me anymore. No reason, no explanation. Your teammates reached out and you didn’t!”

“Do they know about the baby?”

“No, I cut them off two months after we broke up. A week later a coworker asked me if I was pregnant. The rest is history.” Matt didn’t say anything for a few minutes, just sitting with his head in his hands. It took me back to the night my life fell apart. I couldn’t do it again so I got up to leave, I made it to the front door before I heard his voice.

“I should have never broken up with you.”

“Then why did you?!” I turned around, seeing Matt walk towards me and guiding me back to the couch. He knelt in front of me, lifting my chin so I was looking into his eyes.

“Because I was scared! I had just signed the contract on this place while we were on the road, I was planning on bringing you out here once I got back. I was going to show you the progress on the house and I had this whole plan but then I just kept thinking about how we only had one game at home before we were leaving again for another three game road trip. On the plane ride home I just kept thinking about how you deserved better than me being gone all the time.”

“So instead of you being gone sometimes, you decided I would be better off with you in my life none of the time.”

“No one ever said I was smart.”

“No argument here.” Matt chuckled, smiling at me before standing up.

“Is there any way you can forgive me? I want to be a part of your life and our baby’s life.” 

“I-”

“I was going to propose to you. My plan was to show you the house and ask for you to spend the rest of our lives together. But I’m a piece of shit and got scared because of a little voice in my head that told me I would never be enough.” An alarm went off on my phone then, I quickly silenced it before looking at Matt. 

“I have to go, I have a real estate appointment in 30 minutes.”

“Move in with me. I can move out of the master bedroom, you can move in there. The room across the hall can be a nursery.”

“I can’t do that to you.”

“I’m offering. Please. Just let me do this. I want to be a part of your life, a part of the baby’s life.”

“Okay, but I’m not kicking you out of your room. I’m sure there are enough rooms that I can move into one of them.”

“Deal.”

“Let me call my real estate agent and then we can talk about how this is going to work.” 

“I guess I should tell my parents they are going to be grandparents.” As we both made our phone calls I couldn’t stop watching Matt, I was happy to have him back in my life in any way.

***

“Matt. Matt, wake up.” I poked his shoulder again, trying to keep calm. Finally he woke up, rolling over to look at me sitting up in bed. A bed I had just moved into a few weeks before.

“What’s wrong?”

“I am pretty sure I am in labor.” That got him moving, jumping out of bed and pulling on clothes as he started speaking.

“Okay, stay calm. We have a plan. We have a bag ready to go. We can call my parents on the road. Do you need anything?” I shook my head, getting out of bed and grabbing shoes before we headed out. As Matt drove us to the hospital and called his family to share the news I thought about the last two months.

Things were awkward between us at first but Matt was persistent and we started dating again once I was settled into his house. His teammates and their girls welcomed me back with open arms, everyone excited about the pregnancy. Having my support system back was amazing, I had my family again.

Matt pulled me out of my mind when his hand landed gently on my knee. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just glad that I craved a soft pretzel two months ago."

"Me too." Matt had pulled into the hospital parking structure before rushing around to help me out of the car. "Ready to meet Matt Jr?"

"We are not naming our child that." That got a laugh out of Matt just as another contraction hit, making us stop in the middle of a parking lot. Matt easily scooped me up in his arms to continue our trek into the building.

"Don’t even try to say you are too heavy for me to be doing this. I lift more than this at least once a week." I quickly shut my mouth because I was going to argue. Matt just gave me a satisfied smirk before kissing my cheek. A nurse spotted us as we got closer to the entrance, hurrying over with a wheelchair for me.

We were quickly hurried inside and into a room, my doctor coming in a few minutes after we finished the registration paperwork. “Are we ready to meet your son?”

“More than ready.”

***

I was holding my beautiful son when I spotted some of Matt’s teammates on the other side of the door. “Congrats mama.” Johnny says as he strolls into the room with a teddy bear and a vase with flowers with Sean right behind him. Both of them placed their gifts on the dresser filled with stuff before coming over to kiss my cheek before looking down at my baby boy. “Where’s Matt?”

“He went to grab some food for both of us. He should be back in a minute.” Just as I finished saying it, Matt stepped into the room with a tray of food. “He just fell asleep, can you put him down for me?” Matt quickly nodded, putting him down in his temporary bed before handing me a yogurt parfait. 

“So what’s his name?”

“Benjamin Harrison Tkachuk.”

“Congrats, both of you. I’m glad that Matty got his head out of his ass because he is much better with you in his life.” Sean says as the two of them get ready to leave.

“Yeah, lets just hope the only thing he gets from Matt is his hockey skills. It would just be cruel for him to get his looks.” Johnny said before running out of the room, with Matt throwing a pillow at him.

I laughed at their hijinks, glad to have it all back in my life. “I love you.”

“I love both of you.”

Request are open!!!

[meldy-writes]

Luckiest Girl in the World (Daryl Dixon X Wife! Reader)

Context:So I have an alt AO3 because for some reason I didn’t think a walking dead fic fit with the fanfictions I had under my Pen Name’s account, but at this point, I don’t think it really matters. Anyway, there’s this Daryl X Reader fic I’m writing on this alt account and I’m at the point where I’m writing two ways the story could branch, and there’s this little scene from the path I didn’t take that could work as a drabble. If you like this, or if you want to read the fic for context, it’s here. Be warned, it’s pretty long.

Summary: The Reader has been with the group since the CDC, and along the way, she fell in love and married Daryl Dixon. Now they’re in Alexandria and Aiden, one of Deanna’s sons has begun to harbor a crush. He doesn’t seem to realize that she’s taken. (Daryl’s not really mentioned until the last couple of paragraphs, but I thought those paragraphs were cute enough to warrant this being tagged as an x reader fic.)

Aiden sat at the top of the fence with her, casually leaning back in his seat. The front legs of the plastic chair were off the ground, his feet planted as he rocked back and forth.

“You’re gonna to fall backwards, you know.” (y/n) stated.

“You worried I’m going to get hurt?” he teased, leaning even farther back.

“No. In fact, I think it’d be funny. I just don’t want your mommy to yell at me.”

He let out a snort and put his arms behind his head as he began to rock back and forth. She rolled her eyes, amusement dancing on her features as she eyed the back legs of the chair in anticipation. As she predicted, they eventually snapped, and Aiden promptly fell backwards just as she’d cautioned.

She let out a barking laugh, and a few people passing by stopped to look up at her as the flushing boy tried to shake off the embarrassment.

“All right, all right, it’s not that funny.”

“Oh, I beg to differ, that was the most entertainin’ thing I’ve seen all week,” she argued, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Then your life must be very boring.” He countered bitterly, his pride hurt just a tad from how demeaning her tone was and how promptly she’d always shut him down.

“Oh, no. it’s not borin’, it’s just not fun, either.”

He finally recovered from his little mishap, tossing the broken chair down into the grass below to be fixed later, and choosing instead to sit against the wall. (y/n) kept to her perch, eyeing the expanse of pavement in front of the fence gate.

“You know, if you can’t find fun, you can always make it. There’s a game a lot of us play when we’re on watch to pass the time, want to play?”

She rolled her eyes. “I gotta keep my eyes on the gate”

“It’s a talking game. You can still keep watch. It’s called The Worst. We each share the worst experience we’ve ever had with something, and the one that’s the most terrible wins the round.” He continued, eyeing her with a charming smirk that, despite his best efforts, she hadn’t registered as flirty, yet.

He was an attractive guy, and after she’d saved his life on that run, and yelled at him, they’d bonded. He’d even swallowed his pride and let her train him. They’d gotten close, and they were both attractive, sarcastic, and confident people, so he couldn’t understand how they weren’t together yet. No matter what he did, she always shut down any plans he tried to make to hang out alone outside of the occasional look-out duty, and she always spoke to him like she was talking to a child. A very stupid child.

He didn’t let it deter him, though. No matter how much it hurt his pride. She’d eventually come around.

She turned her nose up at his suggestion, looking at him like he just told her the sky was green, and she was about to gently tell him he was a dumbass.

“That sounds like a game you don’t wanna play with me.”

He asked her why she felt like that.

“Because you’d always lose.” She stated simply, turning back to the scene past the gate.

“Okay, you don’t always have to play the jaded soldier. This world is shit, it’s fucked us all over one time or another, quit acting like you’re the saddest sack in the world.” He scoffed, smacking her shin with the back of his hand playfully.

She sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

“Alright, then. But if this ends up bummin’ you out, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Internally, he celebrated. This was the first time he’d ever gotten her to agree to something she initially said ‘no’ to. Slowly but surely, he was winning her over, he was sure.

“Alright, easy. Worst night of your life. Mine was that time I left that supply run group behind. Usually, we’d go into detail, explaining what happened, but, you already know about that night ‘cuz I told you about it.” He stated sadly. She’d talked a big game, so he was pulling out the big guns. “What about you?”

Let’s see you top that, Debbie Downer.

She smirked, sensing the challenge in his voice.

“A long time before we all came here, we were stayin’ on Maggie’s dad’s farm. One night, it got overrun by a horde, an’ everyone got separated. I was with Carol, an’ a walker fell on top of me, tryin’ to bite into my shoulder. She thought I was bit, so she left me behind, but I was wearin’ a real thick jacket. I was fine, but I had to cut it open and drench myself in its blood so the herd wouldn’t sniff me out and tear me to shreds. I had to slice my way through a sea of those suckers, an’ then stumble through the woods covered in gunk for a whole day and a half ‘fore I found my people again. That was the first walker I ever killed on my own. Damn terrifyin’.”

He was quiet after that, face white as a sheet as he shuttered and coughed awkwardly.

“Y-your turn to come up with a topic.” He finally uttered.

“Worst walker encounter you ever had. Mine was this time at a mechanic shop out in… It had to be North Carolina. A guy tried to--well, it’s not important what his intentions were, the point was that he had me handcuffed to one of those automatic levers they use in autobody shops to lift cars, an’ I was hoisted off the ground. He had the keys in his front pocket, an’ I’d managed to get his head ‘tween my thighs to snap his neck. I was tryin’ to reach for the keys with my feet when he re-animated. I was strugglin’, I couldn’t go anywhere, I couldn’t use my arms, the only reason I got out of it was ‘cuz he accidentally bumped up against the control for the lift, and his head ended up crushed under the mechanism. I’ve had a lot of close calls, but I think that was the only time I ever truly felt like I was gonna die.”

Aiden let out a low whistle, letting her words settle. Maybe she’d been right after all. Still, depending on how she saw things, his might still be worse.

“Mine was right at the beginning. My girlfriend was with us while we were traveling for Mom’s campaign. I left for twenty minutes to grab some lunch, and when I got back to our hotel room, she was a walker. I don’t know if she was bitten, or if she had an accident, or if someone… I don’t know. All I know is that I had to kill her with my bare hands just to stay alive. I... dropped the hotel room tv on her head.”

He shuttered at the memory, and to his surprise, he felt (y/n) place her hand on his shoulder and squeeze comfortingly. He grabbed for it, but she pulled away before he could.

“Let’s uh, choose a more up-beat topic,” he continued weakly, “Worst date you ever went on. Mine was this girl Cierra Mauldry in sixth grade. I kissed her goodnight on her porch, and our braces stuck together.”

She laughed at first, but a long-suppressed memory resurfaced at the mention of dates, and instantly she was somber again.

“A guy I worked with at the CDC,” she started softly.

“He’d had a crush on me for a while, an’ I’d just learned that my dad died, so I was in kind of a vulnerable spot. I said yes to grabbin’ dinner together, an’ takin a walk ‘round the facility. When we got back to his room, he wanted to sleep with me, but I didn’t. I didn’t really like him that way, an’ I didn’t think it was fair to him to string him along, so I told him ‘no’, an’ that we should just remain professional from now on. Next day, he didn’t show up in the lab, an’ my boss sent me to go get ‘im. I found him as a walker hangin’ from his closet.” She took a hiccupping breath, reliving the memory in her mind, and scrunching her eyes shut. “Worst part is I cannot, for the life of me, remember his name.”

They were both quiet after that, and soon, they heard Spencer calling up to relieve (y/n) from her shift. She grinned sympathetically down and Aiden, and gave him the goodbye of:

“Told you it was a bad game to play with me.”

Still, when she got up, he scrambled to his feet as well grabbing her arm to stop her before she made her way down the ladder.

“Well, hey, I still had fun. I got to know you a bit better. I’d like to continue doing that, maybe you could come over for dinner and eat with my family tonight.”

She smiled the smile she usually did; like she was talking to a slow, and simple child.

“I’m sorry, Aiden, but tonight’s not great. Daryl’s gotten kind of close with his recruitn’ buddy, and his husband wants us to come to dinner tonight so he can finally properly meet me.”

Aiden scrunched up his eyes in confusion.

“What? What does Daryl getting close with them have to do with you? If they wanted to get to know you, couldn’t they just approach you without having to go through him?”

She smiled wider like he’d said something adorably stupid, as she clarified:

“I didn’t explain it very well, It’s more like a couple’s dinner party sort-of thing.”

Aiden blinked. What? What the fuck? Was she insinuating that she and Daryl were… she couldn’t be, right?

“You and Daryl are together?”

She nodded as if his statement was beyond obvious, “we’re married,” she corrected.

He squeezed his eyes closed, trying to picture the violent, mean, constantly dirty guy with the long, long hair together with the clever, beautiful, and secretly caring woman he’d been trying to flirt with for the past week and a half, but he just couldn’t picture it.

“How?” he blurted out.

“How do people get married?” she teased flatly.

“No, how did you two end up together? You’re so different!”

She smiled softly, looking down at her fingers as she began to twiddle them. This smile was different than any of the ones he’d reluctantly wrangled out of her. This one was genuine, and bashful, and affectionate, and dazzling. Aiden knew it wasn’t for him, and it almost felt like he was intruding on something he shouldn’t be just by looking at her.

“He an’ I are a lot more alike than people realize. We’re more alike than even he realizes, I think. That doesn’t matter though. These days, it’s not about whether you’re similar, or if you’ve known each other for a long time, it’s all about who you can trust and depend on. It’s about who you’d die for, and who’d die for you. We might not have ended up together in the old world, but in this one, we’ve got somethin’ strong. Somethin’ special.”

She grinned brightly, practically knocking the breath out of her companion as she looked him in the eyes and said, “I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

With that, his grip on her arm retracted, and she finally made her way down the ladder. He watched her walk down the street and run into the man they’d just been discussing. He watched as she strode over to him, and gripped his leather vest, trying to pull him down for a kiss.

He noticed how Daryl grinned fondly and put his hands on her waist, placing a quick peck on the tip of her nose. He noticed how she leaned into him with her whole body. He noticed how the sun reflected off the ring on her finger, the ring he had not gathered was supposed to be a wedding ring until that moment. He noticed how soft Daryl was for her when no one else was around.

Or maybe, he was always like this around her, and Aiden had just been too absorbed in himself to realize.

[nalgenewhore]

A rogue storm had her presumed dead and stranded on the red planet. Left on her own, astronaut Aelin Galathynius has four years to make it to the next drop-site, some two thousand miles. Armed with her smarts and dwindling supplies, Aelin attempts to survive on an inhospitable planet, when the nearest help is only millions of miles away.

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Rowan wasn’t breathing. Wasn’t doing anything but fighting against the tether as Aelin let go in every way possible.

Aelin was so tired. She was so gods-damned tired. “It’s ok, Ro, I’m ok-“

“Don’t let go, you can’t let go!” He couldn’t live without her. He’d done it for over a year and he couldn’t – refused to do it again. “You’re not letting go, Ae, don’t you dare let go.”

The comms were silent save for his yells and Aelin’s soft reassurance. The crew was sitting in a horrified silence as they listened, powerless to change her mind.

Nesryn’s gaze was locked on the computer screen, feeling queasy as the distance grew smaller and smaller. She didn’t want to interrupt Rowan’s concentration, but, “Distance to target – seven metres.”

She was so close, Aelin was so close and upon hearing the distance, she half-sobbed, keeping her arm reached out to Rowan as the tether slipped free and he blasted towards her, desperately reaching as their hands brushed against each other’s and she was in his arms seconds later. “Ro,” she croaked, smiling so widely as their helmets knocked together.

“Aelin,” he said, tears blurring his vision. “I got her.” Cheers erupted throughout the comms and Mission Control. “I got her.”

“Lochan, bring them in,” said Lorcan, a smile on his face that no one but Elide ever saw.

“Copy that, Commander.” The MMU moved backwards and Aelin clung harder to Rowan, closing her eyes as tears slipped down her cheeks and she smiled. It seemed the gods had finally answered her prayers.

Everyone was waiting in the inner airlock as they floated in. Aelin waved to them through the window as the outer door closed and Rowan helped her snap her helmet off. The door hissed and Elide was the first one to reach her, the others hanging back – letting the sisters have a minute. Lorcan could just make out Elide’s threats through her tears, “…ever do that shit again, I’ll kill you.”

Aelin laughed and groaned, “Don’t make me laugh, my ribs are broken.”

Elide let go of her, wiping the blonde’s tears away before the rest of the crew swarmed her, enveloping her in a snug hug, careful to not squeeze too hard. Nobody mentioned what Rowan had confessed, just so unbelievably happy to have their girl back.

Nobody knew how long it was until they reluctantly let go and moved as one to the medical bay, waiting anxiously as Rowan checked her out. With a smile, he lifted his head, letting the stethoscope down, “You’re good, Ace. Ribs are broken and I’ll set you up with an IV and might need a feeding tube to replenish the calories you’re missing, but you’re good.”

The crew let out a relieved breath and Rowan relayed the information to Manon. Aelin waggled her brows at Lorcan and Elide, who were standing by the door. Elide was leaning back against Lorcan’s front, his hands in the front pocket of her hoodie. “So, is there going to be mini Lorcan or Elide at the wedding?”

Elide groaned, their sex life was something the crew had always loved to tease them about, “Anneith below, why did we come back for you?” Lorcan just winked at Aelin and bent down to whisper to Elide, nipping at the soft shell of her ear. Her cheeks turned pink as she elbowed him in the stomach as a response, “You’re disgusting. Both of you.” A sly grin grew over her lips as Aelin and the rest of the crew cackled.

Rowan chuckled and knelt, searching for a roll of gauze to wrap her ribs. “You’re gonna need to strip, so…” he arched a brow and she nodded.

“Bye, guys,” she told the rest of the crew. They all got up from their various positions and waved goodbye to her, hesitant to leave, as if she would slip away again. “I’ll be fine. Go,” she shooed them away, smiling softly as they left and the door clicked shut behind them.

Silent as he worked, Rowan ignored the feeling of her gaze burning into him as he wrapped her ribs, “How’s that feel?”

Aelin breathed in slowly, it was snug. “Good, really sore still.”

“If it’s still sore later, let me know, I can get you-“

“You love me?”

Her words had him choking and looking up from the IV he was preparing. “I-I…”

“I heard you, buzzard. Was it a lie to get me to hold on?” A heartbreaking light fractured her eyes and Rowan cursed himself, quick to shake his head.

“What? Gods, no, it wasn’t a lie, Ae.” He floundered, searching for the right words, “I know… we didn’t always get along very well and I was an ass, but I love you.” He waited for her response, tensing as he prepared to hear the worst. When she stayed silent, his brain short wired and he began rambling, “I’ve loved you for years, Aelin. Gods, you drive me crazy and sometimes I didn’t know if I wanted to kill you  or kiss you because you’re you. You’re the smartest person I know and you’re completely unapologetic for it. You’re curious. You want to know everything about the world and I-“

She stopped him by pressing her fingers to his mouth, “Shut up.” His stomach fell at the two words before she whispered, “I love you. So much.”

“You do?”

“Most ardently, Rowan Whitethorn.” Tears were caught in her lashes and he gently cupped her face, swiping his thumb under her eye to catch the drops.

“Why do you cry, Fireheart?” Aelin fell further every time he called her that.

“Because I was lost and I didn’t know the way.”

“And now?” He leaned down to rest his forehead against hers, the tip of her nose cold against his.

“I’ve been found.” And never to be lost again. He would follow her to the ends of the universe and whatever they found after it.

 +*+*+*+*+*+*

“Stop staring at me,” Aelin said, already tired of everyone’s mothering. She slowly chewed on her pasta, using most of her energy to keep it down. “I’m fine.”

When she snapped her head up, glaring at everyone, they all held her gaze, arching their brows as if to say she’d have to try harder than that. Lorcan laughed quietly, “Can you really blame us? You can barely keep your plain noodles down.” Rowan shot him a look and Lorcan read what was happening, a satisfied gleam entering his dark eyes. “Ah. Well, not to be blunt or anything but gods above, fucking finally.”

Fenrys and Elide hooted. Nesryn was able to control herself more and smiled fondly, as if they were children, nodding once and returning to her meal.

Rowan near growled and his brother just cocked his head to the side and smirked, “At least we didn’t bet on it.” Elide turned in his lap and smacked his chest, glaring at him. He just shrugged, Am I wrong? 

“You’re awful, all of you,” Rowan seethed, calming as Aelin patted his knee. He gave her a secret smile and then blushed when she returned it, lifting her hand and kissing the back of her knuckles.

“Oh good gods, my eyes! Premarital affection!” Fenrys cried out, grabbing Nesryn’s hand to cover his eyes. 

Everyone promptly ignored him and smiled softly to themselves, exchanging amused glances at Aelin and Rowan’s expense.

After dinner, they all lingered, explicitly rejecting Aelin’s request that they ‘cease and desist being overprotective mother hens’. Finally, Aelin bluntly told them to leave before she started kicking ass and they all dispersed, humouring her. She watched her sister and commander leave together, no longer feeling that same aching sense in her chest. 

Lorcan tugged Elide along, whispering low enough that Aelin couldn’t hear it. Elide gave him a fond look, tangling her fingers in his and pulling him behind her, their joyful laughter floating along as they disappeared from view. 

Aelin turned, spying Rowan a little ways away, watching her. “What?” 

“Nothing,” he replied smoothly, finally making his way over to her. Rowan rolled his eyes when she lifted her arms and he scooped her up, holding her against his chest as he walked to the couch and sat down. 

Her eyes were begging to be closed but still she kept them open, tracking over Rowan’s face as he gazed out the windows. Eventually, he slid his gaze to her, a brow quirked up. “What?” 

She shook her head, her throat tight, “I just… I would have these dreams that you were right there with me. And we were so happy-” her breath hitched and he opened his mouth to tell her he didn’t need to hear this right now but she needed to tell him this. “We were so happy and then I would wake up and not be able to sleep again because I thought I would never get to tell you that I love you.”

A tear escaped her eye and slid down her cheek as she slid her fingers across his face, feeling the contours of his features, the smoothness of tattoo ink. “You’re real.” 

Rowan nodded, tracing a comforting pattern over her side, “I am.” 

His eyes were like liquid emeralds as she met his gaze and tilted her chin up, so soft as she brushed her lips against his. Rowan sucked in a sharp breath as she pulled away, still close enough to touch his lips if either of them spoke. 

Aelin didn’t know how long they had been trapped in that moment until his lips were on hers again, gentle and tender, but strong, full. A gasp escaped her as she gave into the feeling, her long lashes brushing against his cheeks as her eyes fluttered shut. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, using every ounce of strength in her weak body to hold herself to him as their lips moved against each other’s. When his tongue traced the seam of her mouth, she opened for him, tasting his soft groan at the first brush of her tongue against his. 

Kissing him was like a breath of fresh air, the first real breath she’d inhaled since the rescue. Aelin still wasn’t convinced, was sure that if she moved too quickly, it would all disappear. Again. 

But it was real, the feeling of his hair tangled in her hands grounding her to the moment as she threatened to float away. 

Somebody coughed and they broke apart, chests heaving, gazes wide and pupils dilated. Aelin looked over Rowan’s shoulder, spying Lorcan and Fenrys standing there. “What, in Hellas’ cold and dark realm, do you want?” 

“Oh, nothing, just in the communal area, getting some tea before bed, don’t mind us” Lorcan replied, a shit-eating grin on his face. He took one step forward and smirked at the look on Rowan’s face as he turned to glare at Lorcan and Fenrys. “On second thought, it’s late, probably not a good idea to have caffeine. Have fun, you two.” 

“But not too much fun,” Fenrys yelled as they left, snickering the entire way. They were almost gone when Lorcan’s wolf whistle pierced the air and he howled, the sounds amplified by Fenrys’ roaring laughter. 

“We’re surrounded by animals,” Rowan muttered, his frown melting as Aelin smiled at him. “I hate them.” 

He pressed his forehead against hers, kissing away the tears that streaked down her cheeks. She only cried harder, “Buzzard.”

“Fireheart.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: see! i told you it would all work out 💛 nine chapters down, one to go! 

@mythicaitt​ @tinywolfofeyllwe​ @schmlip-scribble​ @the-regal-warrior​ @westofmoon​ @empire-of-wildfire​ @rhysands-highlady​ @city-of-fae​ @shyvioletcat​ @alifletcher2012​ @tangledraysofsunshine​ @ttakeitbacknoww​ @tswaney17​ @ourbooksuniverse​ @flora-and-fae​ @thesirenwashere​ @queenofxhearts​ @that-other-pineapple​ @sleeping-and-books​ @superspiritfestival​ @faerie-queen-fireheart​ @chemicha​ @rowaelin-cressworth​ @mynewdreamwasyou​ @candid-confetti​ @bat-wing-rhys​ @the-reading-obsessed-stitchbear​ @feyrethedarklady​ @booklover41802​ @rowaelinforeverworld​ @jamesxdaisy​ @julemmaes​ @hellas-himself​ @kayjaybea​ @ghostlyrose2​ @but-she-was-aelin-galathynius​ @queen-of-glass​ @can-dreamers-be-lost-too​ 

[kindofcashton]

𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕  •  chapter 18  (Calum Hood AU)

IT TOOK AWHILE for the shock to subside before I could even think of moving.  I stayed rooted to the spot, gazing out at where Calum had disappeared and left me behind.  The sun was finally gone from the sky, bathing me in a cool darkness that made me shudder.  I kept hoping to see the headlights of a familiar red mustang approach, willing him to come back to me.  But as the seconds dragged on, I knew this hope was futile.

Scrambling for my phone, I called an uber and hugged my knees to my chest as I waited on a bench.  My mind was oddly empty, despite what had just happened.  I suppose I was numb to Calum’s betrayals at this point; his leaving me in the dust was hardly a surprise.

With my head in my hands, I didn’t even hear the uber pull up until the driver rolled down the window and hollered, “Hey!  I’m here!”

Throwing myself into the backseat, I mumbled a faint greeting and closed my eyes.  The driver clearly thought I was a mess, and he thankfully stayed quiet for the entire ride.  My head tilted against the cool glass window, and I felt nausea rise in my stomach.  Everything from my heart to my head to my stomach was hurting; Calum inflicted full-body pain.  I couldn’t imagine walking through the front door, what fury waited for me at home.  Surely he’d yell some more, insult me until he was blue in the face.  And I would take it, because I knew I was putty in his hands.  One kiss would make me forget all about the pain I felt now.

I was surprised to see the driveway empty of his mustang when I finally arrived home.  It shouldn’t have been a shock that he didn’t come home, but for some reason I was crushed by disappointment.  Yet again I had unrealistic expectations about Calum.  I half-expected him to be waiting on the front porch for me, ready to bare his soul in an apology.

No one was waiting for me, and I entered the dark house alone.

Everyone was asleep, so no one would realize the destruction that occurred tonight.  I refused to let my thoughts wander as I showered and got ready for bed, bile rising in my throat when I glanced into Calum’s empty room.  My head hit the pillow, but I knew I would not be sleeping tonight.  Anxiety gnawed at me, making me think up a million scenarios of where Calum was right now.  Asleep in his car on the side of the road?  Hunched over a bar, drowning his sorrows in whiskey?  Or was he in another girl’s bed, kissing her lips and feeling her skin and giving her his heart?

Needless to say, it was a fitful night’s sleep.  The next morning I must have looked particularly awful, because Luke asked what had happened to me.  I truncated the truth, explaining that Calum and I got in an argument and he ditched me after we got dinner.  Luke was angry at Calum for abandoning me, but I just waved his sympathy off.

“It’s fine, really.  He’s so hot and cold, I shouldn’t have been so surprised.”  I absent-mindedly stirred my coffee, still feeling queasy.

Michael had joined the conversation a few minutes before, and shook his head firmly now.  “No, it’s not.  He can’t just leave you on the side of the street.  What did you guys argue about anyway?”

I bit my lip, unprepared with an excuse.  “Er...something stupid.”  A thought crossed my mind, and I added, “I asked if he wanted dinner and he freaked out and thought it was a date.  I guess even after dinner he was still being weird about us being together, which we definitely are not.”  I felt satisfied with this, since it wasn’t exactly a lie.  Half-truths seemed to be my strong suit lately.

Luke frowned.  “Do you think he secretly wants to be together and was just trying to cover it up?”

I almost laughed; after the blowout, I knew Calum definitely did not want to be with me, but this was a nice sentiment.  “Maybe,” I answered with a shrug.  “I never know what he’s thinking.”

Michael snorted.  “None of us do, Scar.  We just roll with the punches.”

I feigned a smile, connecting my gaze with Hannah who was overhearing our conversation in the living room.  Her frown told me she knew there was more to the story than I’d said, but she knew better than to confront me in front of the guys.

The rest of the day was business as usual.  I had a shift at work, then a phone call with the community college about my admission.  Hannah and I dialed up a movie and ordered pizza when the guys went over to Ashton’s for the night, and so the two of us had a girl’s evening.  Hannah didn’t pry about Calum, but I did admit to her the fight was much more serious.  She told me not to worry, he always did this, but it didn’t ease my anxieties.

When I woke up the next morning, Calum was still missing.  No one had heard from him, and all their calls went straight to voicemail.  The guys didn’t seem nearly as worried as I was, but I forced these feelings down.  It’s fine, Scarlett.  Besides, he doesn’t deserve your attention.  For the rest of the day I forced him out of my mind, distracting myself with work and shopping with Hannah.  Luke and I ran errands after dinner, and I was grateful for his quiet, steady friendship.  Listening to him tell stories about work made me wonder what it would be like to be with a guy like him as opposed to Calum.  Luke was kind and open and incredibly understanding.  Calum was mean and closed off and impatient.  I still saw Luke as just a friend, but for a minute I let myself imagine a different guy who would actually treat me right.

The end of the second day came, and still no sign of Calum.  I knew when I woke up on the third day he’d still be AWOL, and my suspicions were proved correct at breakfast.

“All of his shit is here, he has to come back,” Ashton insisted, joining us for pancakes and waffles that Hannah made.  It was a lazy weekend day, none of us having work and deciding to get together for an extravagant breakfast.  As I tore at my pancakes with my fork rather than eat them, I tried to believe Ashton.  Calum would come back.  He’d have to.  And when he did, I could confront him and get some answers.  Until then, worrying was pointless.

But the pit of nerves inside me only deepened as the hours passed.  I faked plenty of smiles and forced a lot of laughs, but still I couldn’t banish the panic I felt.  More than that, I missed Calum.  Spending every night with someone had felt so good, and suddenly my bed was cold and empty and I yearned for his warmth.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come?” Hannah asked again.  She and the guys decided to catch a late movie, and I declined their offer to come.  I felt physically sick with worry, and played it off like the pancakes that morning had me nauseous.

“No, I’m alright,” I told her.  “I don’t feel well, so I would hate to ruin the movie.”  I doubted Hannah believed me, but I knew she wouldn’t nag me any further.  I just needed a night to stew and hopefully get over myself.  

“Okay,” she said gravely, clearly unconvinced.  “Call me if you need anything, alright?”

I rolled my eyes, attempting humor.  “Yes, mom.”  She laughed and waved goodbye, and when the front door shut I was finally alone.

It turns out, isolation doesn’t do much to help with stress.  I could barely pay attention to the TV, and I was so queasy I didn’t even want to make dinner.  I just laid on the couch, watching shapes move on the screen but hearing nothing but a gentle droning in my mind.  It would be a long night.

At least that’s what I thought.  Maybe an hour after the others had left, I heard the door open with a bang.  Shooting up off the couch, I heard the stomping of a very disoriented person as they tried to close the door.

“Shit,” the person murmured, and my heart lurched; it was Calum.  Slowly making my way over, I folded my arms and prepared myself.

It was Calum.  He wore the same clothes as he had on the last time I saw him, but they were considerably more wrinkled and dirty looking.  His hair was a mess, and his eyes glinted wildly in the dark.  His staggered movements and overwhelming stench told me he was drunk.  Finally he got the door shut and leaned against it, exhausted from the effort.  His inebriated eyes found mine, swimming with alcohol.  I swallowed roughly, the nausea coming on again.

“Scarlett,” he slurred, raising his hands.  I saw a beer bottle in one of them, sloshing with dark liquid.  Calum’s gaze was shifty, and he struggled to stay standing.  He stumbled forward as if to embrace me, and I stepped back.  He saw this and pouted, swinging his arms out.  “What’re you doing, baby?  Didn’t you miss me?”

At that moment, the nausea and anxiety transformed into stone cold fury.  I set my jaw, glaring at him.  “Where the hell were you?” I demanded.  “It’s been three days, Calum.”

“Pssh, relax,” he chuckled, hiccuping.  “I just...wanted to have some fun.  You’re so wound-up and annoying, so I needed a break.”  I ignored his cruel words and closed my eyes, willing my breathing to relax.  Calum knew exactly how to work me up in the worst way.

“You reek,” I criticized.  “Go take a shower.”  Not wanting to be under his scrutinizing gaze any longer, I stormed up the stairs.  But he was hot on my heels, and I felt his warm breath hit my neck as I fled. 

Attempting to lock myself in my room, I turned to see Calum blocking my door.  “Why’re you so mad,” he slurred, eyes rolling.  “’S not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?” I cried.  “You were missing for three days!  No one could get a hold of you!  None of us knew if you were alive or dead, Calum!”  I was furious at myself for reacting this way, but I was more furious at him for brushing it off.  He deserved to suffer after making me worry so much.

Calum didn’t reply to my yelling, only slumped against the door and took a swig of beer.  He finished the bottle and tossed it out into the hallway, exhaling loudly.  

Scowling, I tried to push him towards the bathroom.  “Come on, you need a shower.”  It took a lot of effort to lead him away from my room, and I finally sat him down on the toilet seat.  Flicking on the light and closing the door, I started the shower.  Calum watched my movements as I tested the temperature and adjusted the spout.  Crossing my arms, I gestured for him to get up.

“You seriously stink worse than a brewery.  I’m not talking to you until you shower.”  I didn’t even know if he wanted to talk, but he didn’t react when I brought it up which I guess was a good sign. 

Sighing, Calum closed his eyes against the harsh ceiling light and leaned back, kicking off his shoes but not moving to take off his shirt or jeans.

His head hitting the wall, Calum’s expression was suddenly very raw and vulnerable.  He looked broken, like a little boy rather than a grown man.  “It’s my dad,” he murmured, so quietly I almost missed it.  “He’s back, and they want me to see him.”  The bitterness in his voice hurt my heart; I couldn’t imagine the pain of learning someone he’d despised for so long was back in his family’s life.

He got angry all of a sudden, brows furrowing in fury.  “That’s not even all of it.  He’s been back for years.  My mother has known where he’s been for years, and only now do those bastards tell me.  I mean...what the fuck?”  He gripped at his curly hair, pulling it out of frustration.  His muscles were tense, and I hesitated before approaching.  He was like a wounded lion; pitiful and sad, but still capable of ripping me to shreds.

I knelt before him, resting my hand on his thigh.  Calum kept his face covered with his fists, breathing hard.  I breathed out a sigh, unsure of what to say.  “Showering will make you feel better,” I settled on, voice soft.  “Come on, get these dirty clothes off.”  I felt like a mother helping a little child, and a pang of hurt struck me when I wondered if Calum ever had anyone care for him like this before.

Gently, I helped him lift his arms so I could remove his shirt.  Being so close to him made me dizzy, and it was especially painful considering how drunk and angry he was at the world.  Calum might have made a lot of mistakes, but his life certainly didn’t make things easy.  I felt waves of pain rolling off of him, and as they absorbed into me I had to fight tears out of my eyes.

I tossed his soiled shirt to the floor, throat drying at the sight of his bare torso.  His eyes were glazed and looking at the floor, so I slowly grabbed his arm to make him stand.  Calum was like a zombie when I undid his belt, holding my breath as I slid his jeans down.  Undressing was such an intimate act, and I’d done it a dozen times with him before.  But this time, removing his clothes gave me no gratification.  Every inch of skin revealed was just more pain, and I stood up at last when he was only in his boxers.

“I think you can handle the rest,” I whispered, preparing to leave him in the bathroom.  As I turned I felt him grab my arm, his hand warm and firm.  Gasping, he pulled me to face him.

“Don’t go,” Calum begged under his breath, pulling me to his bare chest.  He reeked of alcohol and swayed with intoxication.  He’s drunk, that’s why he wants you, I reminded myself, tears pricking at my eyes.

“Calum--”

“No,” he interjected, holding me tight.  His forehead dropped to my own, our eyes closing as our breathing synced.  “Stay.  Stay with me.”

Lips parting, I gazed up at his desperate and pleading eyes, knowing full well I could not resist him.  So instead of fighting, I pulled my own shirt over my head, never breaking our gaze.  He watched me undress, expression full of emotion as I stripped down to my underwear.  He went to take off his boxers, and I unclasped my bra.

The shower was hot and steaming.  A waterfall of droplets fell onto Calum’s head, wetting his skin and only dampening me slightly.  I watched as water beads slid down his chest, making his skin glisten.  He held me in his arms and pulled me into his wet body, flipping us so the water streamed over me now.  Leaning my head back, I let the rainfall cascade over my face and neck, wetting my hair and leaving crystals of moisture all over me.

Calum’s warm hands slid up and down my body, grazing over my breasts and my hips until he settled on my waist, tilting his head down to capture my lips with his own.  This kiss was incredibly different from the others we’d shared; his lips were earnest and gentle, the usual fiery passion now a lulled heat.  Soft fingers rested on my cheeks, and I pushed my own through his wet curls.  I felt him harden against my thigh, and he leaned back to press his lips to my jaw.  I closed my eyes, relishing the wet heat as he dragged down my neck, biting lightly and causing a moan to rise from my mouth.

His strong body pushed me against the shower wall, and naturally my leg lifted to wrap around his waist.  This caused my center to spread, and I felt his cock slide against my heat deliciously.

I was breathing hard as Calum sucked on my neck, hands splayed out across his wide back as I pulled him closer to me.  One of his hands rested by my head on the wall, the other sliding over my abdomen until he reached where I was aching for him.  I felt his palm slide across my core, collecting the moisture there and letting it mingle with the shower water.  Moaning, I gripped his hair tighter and sloppily kissed his ear, breathing statically with each move of his hand.

His fingers dipped and circled in my folds, finding my clit and pressing on the sensitive bundle of nerves.  My hips bucked into his, and I moved my own hands lower so I could reach him.  As he worked my clit, I found his cock and slid a wet hand along his shaft, causing his breath to hitch.

“Oh, Scarlett,” he groaned, the words like music to my ears.  I worked his length slowly, running my fingers over his swollen tip and feeling him twitch in my palm.  As we pleasured each other, our moans twined together and our lips fumbled in a kiss.  I was close to my edge, and judging from how stiff he was I knew Calum was as well.

The fact that we didn’t have a condom flitted across my mind, and I leaned back to connect my eyes with his.  But what I saw there took my breath away; Calum was looking at me like he never had before.  Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the steam from the shower, but I swore he was looking at me like I created the whole world.

Exhaling softly, I reconnected our lips, forgetting my inhibitions and wanting only to feel him inside of me.  He understood my unspoken desire perfectly, lining up with my entrance.  I felt his tip press into me, and almost cried out from the teasing feeling.

Hooking an arm around his neck, I tilted my hips forward so he pressed in even more, causing my eyes to roll back.  Calum got the hint, and with one flick of his hips he was inside of me.

I would never get used to the feeling of him.  The stretch was unlike any I’d ever experienced, his body fitting with mine like a puzzle piece.  The angle was entirely new since we were standing in the shower, and as he slid out of me I braced for the feeling of reentry.  Sure enough, when he rocked back inside I felt fireworks of pleasure explode inside my body.  Somehow he was hitting even deeper than when we were in bed, and I had to hold on for him for support as he thrusted.

“God, shit,” I cried out, sucking on his ear while he snapped his hips up inside of me.  I was barely staying vertical, the feeling too overwhelming as my knees buckled.  Calum’s strong hands wrapped under my bum, lifting me up so he could thrust harder and my body weight was pushed against the wall.  I wrapped my legs around him, inviting him deeper inside of me.

Without the layer of a condom between us, I could really feel him.  Somehow I felt closer to him this way, truly connected.  No barriers were in the way, and feeling him slide against my walls was a euphoria I would surely become addicted to.

Wet skin rubbed against wet skin, and my nails grazed down the wide expanse of his back.  Calum’s breath washed over my face, his lips parted and eyes closed in bliss.  I let the pure sensations take over, my mind clear of anything except the pleasure he was giving me.

I was nearing my end as his thrusts increased, and my breasts pushed into his chest as I panted.  Calum gripped my ass harder, pushing faster and deeper to deliver us both to our orgasms.  One last thrust hit just the right spot, and a tight ball of pleasure evaporated into sizzling bliss that soaked through every inch of my body.  Just when Calum neared his end he pulled out of me, letting the spurt of white liquid land on my abdomen.  His moans of ecstasy filled my ears, and I clasped his wet body to mine.

We both took a minute to come down from our highs, and finally I opened my eyes to meet his.  Calum gently let my feet hit the floor, and I used my hands to steady myself against him.  Gazing down at me, Calum pushed a lock of wet hair behind my ear.

Wordlessly, I grabbed the soap and began sliding it across his torso.  Calum watched silently as I cleaned him, washing away his pain and letting it spin down the drain.  Next was the shampoo, and I ran my fingers through his curls with a frown.  Calum kissed my down-turned lips, just a light ghosting of contact, and it eased some of the tension in my shoulders.

We washed each other in the scalding water until we stood clean and rejuvenated.  I couldn’t tell if Calum was still drunk, but his expression was definitely clearer than it had been before.  I didn’t know how I felt about what just happened; on the one hand, Calum and I were never closer or more open with one another than when we were having sex.  On the other, if his drunken haze was the only reason he wanted to do it, then it was meaningless.

Refusing to dwell, I stepped out of the shower after switching off the water.  Wrapping myself in a towel, I padded out of the bathroom, thinking that this was it.  But Calum only went to his room for fresh clothes before joining me in mine.  I was unsure how to feel about this; secretly I was overjoyed, but outwardly I remained stoic.  I pulled on a pair of panties and was about to find a shirt when Calum gave me one of his.  Avoiding his eyes, I pulled it over my head.

He wore only a pair of sweatpants, and my legs were bare save for the underwear.  Tentatively, I slid into bed and pulled the covers tightly over myself.  Sensing my trepidation, Calum hesitated before joining me.  Naturally, of course, our bodies moved towards each other until I was laying in his arms, curled against his chest and relishing the gentle stroking of his hand on my back.

We must have laid there forever before either of us spoke.  I didn’t know if I actually wanted to confront him, or if it was time to distance myself and let him go.  But then the sound of his broken voice and the sight of his pain-filled eyes flashed through my brain, and I sighed.  I couldn’t let go of Calum if I tried.

Twisting my neck to look at his face, I said softly, “So what are you going to do?”  About your dad, I wanted to add, but I knew he understood my meaning.  Saying those particular words out loud would’ve hurt even more.

Calum took a deep breath, chest rising underneath my cheek.  I curled my fingers around his bicep, worried he was going to flee.  But he merely shrugged, eyes staring at some point in the wall.

“Nothing,” came his simple answer.  “I don’t want anything to do with them.”

This is what I expected.  I didn’t blame Calum for resenting his parents, especially after years of lying to him, but a small part of me still wished he’d see them.  It was the part that longed for my own parents, the part that missed them every single day.  I would give anything for one last chance to be with them.

“I understand that,” I began slowly, praying Calum wouldn’t react angrily to my suggestion.  “You have every right to be mad.  But...my parents are dead, and I wish I had one last chance to talk to them.  I know it’s hard, but what’s harder is living without them.  And it would be nearly impossible to live with yourself if something happened to them and you had turned down an opportunity to make amends.”

While the words hung in the air, I held my breath.  This was the only attempt I planned to make in order to sway Calum; if he refused even after hearing this, then I’d give up.  Changing his mind was an impossible task.

Calum’s arm tightened around me.  A gentle kiss was placed on the top of my head, and I knew this was his way of comforting me.  He’d never outwardly give me pity over my dead parents, but gestures like these showed me he was there for me.  I nestled deeper into his embrace, drinking in the smell of his skin.

I thought the conversation was over, because a long stretch of time went by.  I was on the verge of sleep when Calum’s voice rumbled softly, “Fine.”

Glancing up at him, I knitted my brows in confusion.  “Fine?”

His brown eyes were conceding, for once in his life.  “I’ll go.  But only if you come with me.”

A small gasp left my lips.  This was yet another instance of Calum claiming he needed me.  I felt a flutter of hope in my chest, the first one in so long.  Biting my lip, I ran a nervous hand through my damp hair.

“I don’t know, Calum.  They’re your family, and I don’t want to pry or overstep--”

“No,” he stopped me, caressing my face with his hand.  I melted into his touch, unraveling under his fingers.  “I can’t face them if you’re not there.  I need you.”

My heart skipped a beat at the familiar words, but I kept my face neutral.  Nodding, I responded, “Okay, I’ll go with you.”  Once the words left my lips he pulled me in for a kiss.  I happily obliged, savoring the taste I had started to forget over the last three days.  His arms were wrapped tightly around me, holding on to me as if for dear life, but he didn’t need to worry.  I wasn’t going anywhere.

[steppedoffaflight]

Summer’s a Knife - Chapter 5

Catch up on Chapter 4 here

“No, nothing’s wrong,” You hear him exhale smoke, his breath making noise in the microphone. “We got booked to do a show for one of the big rock stations in L.A..”

You realize now he’s looking for someone to share in his good news. “That’s amazing!”

“Right, it’s awesome. But here’s the thing: they’re not selling any of the tickets to the public. It’s gonna be all contest and giveaway shit. So the team needs a headcount as soon as possible for the guest list so we set aside enough tickets. So if you and Mary and Theo were wanting to see us live, here’s your chance.”

You blink, stunned at the twist the conversation had taken. “Guest list?”

or

Van’s back in L.A., and you cancel all your plans to see him perform for the first time.

A/N: It’s been four weeks of posting this!! Whether you’ve been following from the beginning or are binge reading it now, thank you for making this story I’ve put so much blood, sweat, and tears into a part of your day ❤️

Word count: ~9.2k

Chapter Five May 2019

The morning after the party is the last time you see Van while he’s in L.A.. For the rest of his trip, his schedule is packed with studio time and meetings in preparation for the album launch. 

You finally follow the band on Instagram, although you shy away from following the boy’s personal accounts. Their relationship with social media didn’t seem to be the strongest, and you figured one of Van’s random flings following all of them probably wouldn’t send the best message.

The night of the album release they post a black and white photo of a pile of albums and vinyls to mark the occasion. You text Van the next morning, when it’s officially out, simply: Congrats on The Balance!! 

Thaaaanks, Van sends back, Buzzing over it! 

Each day you watch their feed fill with new posts promoting live shows. They announce tour dates so often it makes your head spin. Peppered amongst event announcements are videos of Van singing enthusiastically into a microphone, always promoting one of the different singles. You watch them more times than you’d care to admit.

Your conversation thread with him runs dry. You try to send him something here or there, to keep things going, but Van isn’t the best at a consistent reply. You try to convince yourself he’s tired from work, or the time difference is hard to maintain, but your brain can’t help but insist he’s busy with someone else.

That’s why two weeks after release day, when your phone lights up on the kitchen counter with a phone call from Van, you practically faint. 

“Hello?” You respond hesitantly. You two have never called each other. You’re convinced he’s dialed you by accident.

“Whatcha doing?” Van asks down the line, his voice breezy.

“Um, cooking dinner,” You say, still confused. 

“What’s for dinner?”

“Uh, lasagna…” You peek inside the oven to make sure it’s cooking alright. “It’s in the oven right now.”

“Sounds class.”

“Yeah…” You trail off, unsure why this warranted a phone call. “What are you up to?”

“Having a cig real quick. But I got an email from our team and I wanted to talk to you.” 

Instantly, your mind flashes to the worst case scenario. Was this about Instagram? Had you done something wrong? You hadn’t even posted anything!

“Is something wrong?” You press, when Van doesn’t continue.

“No, nothing’s wrong,” You hear him exhale smoke, his breath making noise in the microphone. “We got booked to do a show for one of the big rock stations in L.A..”

You realize now he’s looking for someone to share in his good news. “That’s amazing!”

“Right, it’s awesome. But here’s the thing: they’re not selling any of the tickets to the public. It’s gonna be all contest and giveaway shit. So the team needs a headcount as soon as possible for the guest list so we set aside enough tickets. So if you and Mary and Theo were wanting to see us live, here’s your chance.”

You blink, stunned at the twist the conversation had taken. “Guest list?”

“Yeah. It’s not a backstage kind of thing, nothin’ like that. But I can put your names down. You can choose balcony or G.A., whatever you like. If you want G.A. I could probably weasel you in a little earlier so you can get a good spot.”

The opportunity already sounds amazing. There’s only one thing on your mind: “When?”

Van chuckles. “You’re gonna kill me.”

“Oh God, why?”

“It’s on Friday.”

“What?!” You spin around in the kitchen, making a beeline for the calendar you’ve got hanging up in there. “Van, that’s in five fucking days!”

“I’m sorry! It was kind of in talks, but they really like the album. They wanna do a whole week spinning it and really pushing us. It was all penciled in last minute.”

“Right,” You sigh, your mind going a mile a minute. “Okay, I need to call Mary. Can I call you back?”

“Yeah, sooner the better. If I don’t pick up I’ll call as soon as I’ve got a moment.”

You say your goodbyes, hitting call on Mary’s contact card as soon as the screen clears.

“Hey, Mare?” You start hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“What are you and Theo doing on Friday?”

As soon as Mary starts detailing her plans, the oven timer rings out.

“Okay hold on,” You interrupt her. You put the call on speaker, resting it back on the counter while you fuss with the lasagna. “Whatever you’re doing, I need you to cancel it.”

“What? Why?”

You struggle to lift the heavy glass pan of food out of the heat. “Van’s doing a show and he wants to put us on the guest list.”

“Huh?” Mary’s voice rings tinny through the speakers. “I can’t hear you!���

“Van’s doing-” You huff in frustration, jabbing your finger against the oven keypad to stop the timer. “He’s doing a show and wants to put us on the guest list!”

“Who’s guest list?”

“Van’s!” You yell, your voice echoing through the silent kitchen. “Catfish and the Bottlemen are doing a show and he wants us on the guest list!”

Silence. Then: “You’re joking.”

“No,” You tell her breathlessly.

“Okay, fuck, okay,” Mary panics. “Lemme grab Theo.”

You don’t give your friends enough credit. All Friday plans were dropped in exchange for this show you knew nothing about. 

Theo and Mary had pestered you with questions as you three scrambled to devise ways to clear your schedules. Mary was going to bail on her cousin’s baby shower, and Theo was in the process of texting any co-worker that could possibly cover for him. You had no idea what your plan was. Worst case scenario, you’d have to play sick. Through the entire ordeal, they’d asked where the show was, the capacity of the venue, what time, what radio station. You had answers for none of these. 

You call Van back with an adrenaline rush, praying he picks up. He does.

“Okay, we’ll take three for G.A.,” You say instead of a greeting. “But I have some fucking questions for you, okay?”

Van laughs. “Okay, yeah. Grab a pen and paper, I’ll read you the email.”

\\

During your workweek you do your research. You listen to the radio station, curious to hear fan’s reactions to their new stuff. Almost every fan that wins tickets is a female that’s jumping for joy. Every commercial break consists of a minute-long ad of Van and Bondy introducing themselves and pushing their album and the chance to win tickets to hear it live. The radio announcers enthusiastically discuss how much they enjoy every song of the band’s that they play. You realize you’d been sorely underestimating their success. People seem genuinely interested in their work, and a lot of the people that call in are long-time fans.

But nothing prepares you for the actual day. 

Getting the day off work had seemed like that was going to be your biggest obstacle, but it was surprisingly easy. The real challenge came with all the coordinating required between you, Mary, Theo, Van, and the band’s team.

The event was happening early afternoon, at 2. You’d never even heard of shows happening that early besides all-day festivals. But you supposed it made sense with the way it was going to be broadcasted over the radio this afternoon, and Van had mentioned they also had interviews to do.

That meant you were up as early as a workday, except last night you’d had the worst sleep possible because of your nerves. You slug through your grogginess, attempting to get ready with the help of multiple cups of coffee. Through the entire process you’re glued to your phone, fielding questions from Mary about what time you three should leave, who’s car to take, and who’s driving, along with questions from Van about what time you think you’ll be arriving, the address to the venue, and details about the guest list.

The whole guest list concept was so casual it made you nervous. The only thing Van took down was everyone’s first and last names, and their choice of general admission. He insisted that was enough. He’d arranged to meet you guys at the side door of the venue a half hour before doors opened to get you in early, but other than that he only told you to tell security your name if asked. It felt too easy for something to go wrong.

And to be fair, something did go slightly wrong. Communicating with everyone all morning keeps you from finishing your hair and makeup on time, which delays the three of you from leaving, which means that by the time you get through traffic and pull into the venue, Van has texted that he can’t wait at the side door any longer as it’s time for him to warm up.

No worries, securitys still waiting, He insists when you apologize for running late, When you get here go to the side. 

You don’t even understand how you’re supposed to make it around the front of the venue. The entire building is swarmed with fans, most of them sitting on the cement in the sweltering L.A. heat for their best chances at a good spot. There’s a disorganized line crowded around the ticket booth, and at any moment more people are exiting their cars, heading to congest the building further. It hadn’t seemed like this many tickets had been given away when you’d been listening to the station. There’s way more people here than you expected.

You can feel everyone’s eyes on you as you walk past the line. Girls sitting on the sidewalk peer up at you, their heads following as you breeze past them. You actually feel bad. They must’ve been out here for hours, considering how far the line goes down the sidewalk. And yet here you are with your friends, scaling the line in a matter of minutes. As much as it feels elite, you’ve got a healthy amount of fear running through your veins. You pray that something doesn’t go wrong, that you don’t get turned away in front of all these people.

The last thing you see as you, Mary, and Theo turn the corner is necks craning to see what you’re up to. You’re relieved to be out of everyone’s sight around the brick building. 

The door is exactly as Van had described, but there’s nobody attending to it. Your stomach sinks as you realize you’re probably locked out. But still, you turn the knob, needing the weight of your body to help maneuver the heavy door. You guys struggle to get through.

On the other side is a security guard watching you curiously. 

“Van was waiting for us,” You explain. You’re so nervous that the true statement comes out like a question. 

The guard eyes you three. Then he gestures to a spot on the floor. “One at a time, let’s get you checked.”

Just like that, the three of you are scanned over quickly by his portable detector, your bags skimmed through before he gestures to one of the doors.

“Stage is through that one.”

Everyone hurriedly thanks him as you head through the giant space, your footsteps echoing against the flooring as you head towards the door. There’s equipment everywhere, cords in tangled piles, and you even spot overflowing boxes of merch. You can hear some hustle and bustle in the distance, coming from one of the nearby rooms. 

You’re thrown off when the door leads you right onto side stage. You’re instantly in the way of crew members who are maneuvering a drum set over the hardwood. 

“Sorry, sorry,” You say immediately, scrambling to clear their path. Thankfully you spot the stairs to descend the stage nearby, although they’re blocked by a thick, dusty stage curtain you’ve got to press through. 

Once you’re down, another security team member nearby makes a gap in the barricade railing for you to get through. And just like that, you three are standing at the barricade, no other fan in sight. With no questions, hassle, or mishaps. You look to Mary and Theo in relief.

“That was so weird,” Mary agrees with your silent communication. Her voice echoes eerily around the space.

“We should grab drinks,” Theo gestures to the bar nestled into one of the walls. There’s only one woman attending it currently, stocking plastic cups.

By the time you’ve been served, the doors have opened and people are starting to flow in. You nestle yourselves in the front corner of barricade, a spot that looks like it’s going to have a great view and also prevent the band from being able to see you.

You listen to the conversations that the fans pressed against barricade are having. Soon the space up front is packed tightly, everyone jostling for the best view. You pick up on a few people’s opinions of The Balance, a few general criticisms, and listen curiously to a couple of girls enthuse about a time they managed to meet Van. According to them, he was very nice. You glance over to catch one of the girls showing the other her picture. There’s Van, arm slung around her, lopsided smile on display. There’s something about knowing him personally and listening to the girls speak as if they know him personally that unsettles you. You decide to try and tune them out.

Without an opening act, the lights going down catch you off guard. One moment there’s a pre-show playlist playing happily over the amps, the crowd cheerfully bopping along, and the next the lights are out and the entire room erupts in screams. And just like that there’s blinding lights shining down, the band taking their positions before Van emerges, electric guitar slung low on his hips, the opening notes of Longshot ringing out.

There was nothing in your radio station research that could have prepared you for what you were witnessing today. 

You knew Van loved music. It was as much a part of him as one of his organs. He was constantly talking about it, playing it, writing it, singing it. And he’d mentioned that he loves live shows. And you knew from his fans that Catfish made music that people really loved, really connected with. But you had made a fatal mistake. Your brain had not added these facts up correctly. 

Because seeing the boys actually on stage was insane. 

The band rips through their setlist relentlessly. You’re barely able to catch a breath before they’ve launched into the next song. And the next. And the next. The fast pace only seems to wind everyone up more, leave everyone eager to bask in every note. Van is magnetic on stage. The crowd goes crazy for him, and he knows it. Simply resting his foot on one of the amps makes the entire crowd swell and swarm in an attempt to get as close to that amp as possible. He improvises lyrics and note changes that keep everything interesting. Every one of the boys performs flawlessly. There’s not one moment where it looks like they’re anything less than over the moon to be entertaining.

As soon as it feels like the show is slipping by too fast, Van will drop the pace. He’ll chant a lyric a few extra times. He’ll strum his guitar a bit longer than what you’d been hearing on the radio. He’ll lean forward, voice low, and make direct eye contact with different people in the crowd. It’s so electrifying that when your desire for him washes over you in a surprisingly intense wave, you’re almost positive that every single person- regardless of sexual orientation- feels the same. 

The show feels like it exists outside of time. It lasted hours but also only ten minutes. When Van thanks everyone for coming out it shocks you, but also fills you with extreme exhaustion as if you’d just run a marathon. Before you know it the boys have walked off, the lights are back up, and the air is still crackling with electricity. 

The three of you gape at each other.

“They’re phenomenal,” Theo says after a moment of shocked silence. “Do they have their albums at the merch stand? I wanna give them a listen after that!”

“I dunno,” You mumble, numb. “I can probably get Van to grab you some.”

Someone next to you pauses at your mention of Van. You realize how strange that sentence sounded only after it’s out of your mouth. When you don’t say anything else, they keep moving. 

“You do that,” Mary nods, eyes wide. “I guess we should… go?”

“Right,” You try to come back to reality, fishing your phone out of your bag. There’s a text from Van.

At the side door having a smoke. Come say hi?

“He wants us to come say hi,” You announce, your head spinning.

“You go say hi,” Mary elbows you playfully, “Meet us at the car.” 

You don’t think security would take you heading to the side door through backstage well, so you head out the front door with them in a daze. Once you’re outside again you round the corner, ending up back at the side door, which is now cracked. 

You knock softly, a warning before you try to heave it open again. This time there’s another set of hands helping you.

“Are you allowed to smoke inside?” You ask curiously once you’re inside, Van shutting the door behind you.

He shrugs. “Ceilings are high enough.” He nods towards outside. “M’not in any state to take a picture with anyone.”

“Right,” You breathe. Fans are looking for him. Another piece of information your brain doesn’t have the capacity to handle. 

Van is soaked from head to toe in sweat. He resembles a wet dog, hair matted and sticking to his skin while he tries to catch his breath. His face is cherry red from his last two hours of exertion, his freckles standing out. He’s undone half of the buttons on his shirt, his chest as splotchy red as his cheeks. Although you two have a healthy distance between your bodies, you pick up on his body odor with every inhale. He’s radiating heat like a furnace. 

“Did you like it?” He asks breathlessly.

“I loved it,” You beam. “So did Mary and Theo. You’re, like… incredible on stage. You all are.”

Van shakes his head around an inhale of his cigarette. “We had a really nice crowd, s’all. Makes everything more massive. I wanted to change up the setlist a bit but it couldn’t get done this fast.”

“I loved the setlist,” You assure him. “Everyone else clearly did, too.”

“Aw, quit. But you liked it? Honest?”

“I loved it,” You insist again. “Loved it. It was amazing.”

“Okay, good.” Van nods. “Wanted to make sure. I’m gonna go clean up now. I’ll see you after, if you want.”

“Yeah, when?”

Van flicks his finished cigarette out of the door. “You can head to my place. You remember the gate code?”

“010892,” You recite. Van smiles. “What about your front door?”

“Spare key under the mat.”

He’s already undoing the last buttons of his shirt. You try not to stare.

“I gotta shower real quick and do an interview, it shouldn’t be long. I’ll try to be quick.”

“Don’t rush an interview,” You urge him, shocked that he would even think of doing that. He laughs you off, parting with a quick goodbye before practically jogging away.

You make your way out of the side door and back into the melting heat, your mind going a mile a minute as you walk back to the car.

Sliding into the air conditioned vehicle feels heavenly. You slump in your seat.

“How’d it go?” Mary asks, turning in her seat to face you. “Did you jump into his arms?”

You laugh. “Fuck off.”

“Ready to go?” Theo asks as he kicks the car into reverse, carefully backing out of his parking spot. 

“Yeah, but is there a way you could… Drop me off at Van’s?”

Mary cackles.

\\

You’re starting to get quite accustomed to the route to Van’s. You’re easily able to direct Theo around the twisted, uphill roads through the neighborhood. When you helpfully add that the 8 sticks, Mary only raises her eyebrows in amusement. Soon you’re at his front door, fishing around under the welcome mat laid out on his porch for the key. It’s easy enough to find, and you wave Mary and Theo off as you unlock the front door. 

It’s strange being at his house alone. His luggage is strewn about the front room, a couple of the bags open and oozing clothing. There’s a MacBook charger plugged into the outlet by the stairs, but no MacBook in sight. 

You take in his mess of things for a moment before locking the door and leaving the borrowed key on the end table, making a mental note to lecture him about finding a new hiding spot. 

The air smells stale, a sure sign nobody’s been here for weeks. You take it upon yourself to turn one of the lamps on, noticing a notebook and pen resting on the coffee table. It’s got a leather cover, clearly some sort of journal or agenda. Maybe he writes songs in there? The temptation to snoop is strong, but you know better. You physically force yourself to turn away.

You crack the door to the outdoor lounge, hoping to let some fresh air in. You look around for the thermostat to make sure the air conditioning wouldn’t run itself silly trying to keep up with the L.A. heat breezing in, but you’re not able to spot one on the walls.

Your next stop is the kitchen. Van’s obviously been in here, a few tea mugs in the sink. You peek in the fridge; judging by the smell, it’s seen better days. There’s a rubbery-looking bundle of celery, it’s ends the crisp brown of decaying produce. A head of lettuce has rolled onto its side on the shelf, sharing a sheath of white fuzzy mold with the few soggy tomatoes next to it. 

What is intact, however, is a gallon of unsweetened iced tea that’s still sealed, and a lonely beer bottle that’s tipped over in the door compartment. You extract the iced tea from where it’s resting on its side by the moldy tomatoes, and open various cupboard doors looking for a glass.

For lack of anything better to do you head out to the outdoor lounge, perching yourself on one of the chairs and setting your iced tea on one of the expensive-looking frosted glass tables. You get your phone out and flip through your photos and videos from the show, experiencing the magic all over again. You wonder if Van would be against you posting some of these. You’d have to ask him about it.

From your spot outside you hear the gate creak on its hinges, signaling Van’s arrival. You head back inside, your heart suddenly racing in anticipation. It seems silly considering you’d just seen him after the show, but you’re nervous nonetheless. 

You’ve just locked up the patio when Van’s knuckles rap against the front door. You rush to unlock it, leaving your mostly-empty iced tea on the mantle.

“Fucking sweltering,” Van says as soon as he comes through the front door. As promised, he’s freshly showered. His hair is still wet except the ends, which are flipping this way and that as they dry. He’s in clean clothes, which you recognize immediately as the worn out gray sweatpants you’d seen him in once or twice, and the gray sweatshirt you’d borrowed the last time you’d seen him. He’s got a backpack slung over one of his shoulders.

“Lock me out of my own house, huh?” He jokes as he closes the door behind himself.

“Yeah,” You murmur, too busy processing the fact he’s in front of you for the first time in five weeks. At the memory of the key under the mat, you come back to your senses. “And you need to move that key,” You tell him sternly. “Under the mat is too easy! Anyone could guess that!”

Van makes a psh noise with his lips. “Nobody gives a fuck about my house.”

“Um, everyone at that show?” You argue. 

“Worried they’re gonna come in and raid my drawers?” Van grins. “Steal one of my condoms as a souvenir? Nah, it’s fine.”

You roll your eyes in disagreement, but drop the subject.

Van turns to you then, taking you in. 

“Long time no see,” He breathes, his grin reappearing.

“I think you’ve already used that line,” You point out. And without further ado you get up on your toes, going in for a kiss. Van lets his head tip, your lips crashing together effortlessly.

Kissing Van makes the tornado of feelings that have been swirling around for the last month settle. Any doubts about your chemistry, whether or not the party was the last time he’d be this close to you, or whether you’d failed the meet-the-friends test all come to rest now as Van deepens the kiss, getting a hand on the hem of your shirt to tug you closer.

You get a hand on the back of his neck in response, pressing your lips tighter together. Running your fingers through the damp locks of hair sticking to his skin.

The way you’ve missed him washes over you, crashing waves no longer able to be ignored. It’s the strange mix of sadness and relief pressing down on your chest that suddenly has you getting down on your knees. 

“Oh fuck,” Van murmurs, swinging his backpack off of his shoulder in one motion. He sets it down safely before leaning back, letting the front door hold most of his weight. 

He cooperates eagerly as you get his pants down in one smooth motion. He’s close to hard, but not enough to get started yet.

You stroke the inside of his thighs with your palms in big, sweeping motions. They’re still clammy from his shower. He smells clean, like men’s body wash. You ease your hands under the hem of his sweater and the t-shirt he’s got layered underneath, running your fingers over the bump of his lower stomach. His skin is silky smooth wherever you touch. Even the trail of hair that thickens in a stripe down his belly feels less wiry. You can’t help but run your fingers over the hairs as you bring your hands back down to the matter at hand.

Van lets you keep him waiting without complaint, watching you with hooded eyes.

He’s hard now as you wrap a hand around him, your wrist twisting around him in muscle memory. You only hope that muscle memory applies to the rest of what you’re about to do.

He’s waiting for your next move, the muscles in his thighs clenched tight. His desperation is palpable. You’re taking too long to get your mouth around him, trying to work up the courage.

“I’m rusty,” You blurt out suddenly. “I haven’t, um, done this recently. So if something’s not right…”

You trail off at the way Van’s shaking his head vehemently, his damp hair rustling with the motion.

“I don’t care,” He says, resting his head against the door, chin tipping upwards, his eyes falling shut. “It doesn’t matter. Doesn’t fucking matter.”

You figure it will matter in a minute, when you’re not up to his expectations, but his reassurance comforts you enough to get started. You carefully maneuver his foreskin under the ridge of his head so you can get your lips around him, pressing the flat of your tongue against his slit as you plan your next move.

Van jolts at the sensation, his hips jerking forward, feeding you more than you were ready for. 

He grimaces apologetically when you pull back. “My bad, my bad, love,” He apologizes. “Took me by surprise s’all. Sorry.”

Instead of a response you pet his thigh with the back of your hand, a silent reassurance that he’s forgiven. This time when you start again you press one of your hands to his hip, nudging him back against the door. You use your other hand to guide him into your mouth. When his muscles go tight you quickly shift your hand from his hip to lower stomach, pressing him away from you more firmly.

With the security of your hand holding him away you’re able to get into a rhythm. It’s a bit sloppier than you’d prefer, and the entire time forgotten pointers from your past are flashing through your mind, but Van doesn’t seem to notice. He leans uselessly against the door, occasionally cursing quietly.

Giving head is a precise game to play, but fortunately Van makes things easy. You devote all your focus to him, taking careful note of what tricks make his stomach clench against your palm or leave him groaning. A slightly faster pace gets his thighs trembling. You’re not sure if there’s someone else in London, but considering Van’s desperation she must not give head.

When it’s clear he can’t hold off much longer you shut your eyes tight, willing your throat to relax as much as humanly possible before taking him down deep.

Van’s reaction comes instinctually. In your focus you’ve relaxed the pressure on his stomach, and you feel his hips lift off of the door, chasing the feeling.

“Oh fuck,” He groans, his hands scrambling for something to hold on to. He settles for restlessly combing his fingers through your hair. 

Your other hand flies to his stomach, pressing him back forcefully to prevent yourself from being choked. There’s only an inch or two space between him and the door, and you’re more forceful than you’d intended, the door making a heavy thud as his body lands against it. Instantly you get a sinking sensation in your stomach that you’ve accidentally hurt him.

As you go to pull back and check, you’re stopped by the way Van’s entire body goes stiff. 

“Shit, I-”

But before he can finish uttering his warning you feel his orgasm rock through him, his dick throbbing against your tongue as you feel him pulsing heat down the back of your throat. 

Thankfully, he’s deep enough so the taste is minimal. Van pulls out as soon as he’s done while you stay put, only slightly sputtering as you swallow everything down.

“Fuck,” Van exhales. You look up at him.

“Holy shit,” He says, dazed and lost for words. He tugs up his pants before melting down the door until he’s on the floor with you. 

“Rusty,” He scoffs. “Fuck you. You’re hustling me!”

You’re still cringing from the taste of him. “Can you go grab me my iced tea?” You request, pointing him in the direction of the mantle. 

Van obliges.

“Sorry for such a shit warning,” He says when he brings the iced tea back. He offers you his hand, helping you up from the floor. “I was trying to hold off. Wanted to do other things.” He winks. “Been a while since I had that, though. Doesn’t help you’re fucking amazing at it, either. Shit.”

You roll your eyes, brushing off his compliment. “You’re fine,” You insist. “I was just worried I hurt you.” 

“Nah. Quite the opposite, actually.”

You two make your way to the sectional, plopping down. As soon as your body comes to rest you feel the exhaustion from the concert wash over you, only amplified by your front door activities.

“Do you want me to return the favor?” Van’s lying on his stomach, head resting on his arms. 

You perk up at the suggestion, bummed when you remember you need to shower. There’s no way you’re letting Van down there when you’ve been sweating like a pig. 

“Raincheck,” You sigh, disappointed. “I need to shower. I’m disgusting.”

Van hums in acknowledgement.

A lazy silence blankets you both. You hear Van’s stomach grumble.

“You hungry?” You ask, realizing as you say it that you are, too.

“Yeah,” Van sighs, rolling onto his back. “Haven’t had anything but toast. All the food went bad.”

“You didn’t eat at the venue?”

“Not right before a show. Doesn’t sit right in my stomach on stage.”

“Oh my god,” You groan suddenly. “I forgot I have the best frozen pizza in my freezer.”

“What toppings?”

“Cheese. But then I got fresh pepperonis. The expensive kind.” Your mouth practically waters thinking about it. “It’s one of those giant ones.”

A beat of silence from Van. And then: “We could go to yours?”

“Like, for dinner? That sounds good. And then I can shower.”

“I mean, I can pack a bag and stay over. It’s up to you. Is Mary your roommate?”

“Nope. Just me.” You sigh gratefully as you think of your past living arrangements. “But yeah, stay over if you wanna.”

Van sits up. “I do. Need to give this place a good cleaning.”

“It smells weird,” You admit.

“Always does,” Van says, heaving himself up off of the couch. “From being closed up. Should smell my place in London when I get back from U.S. tours.”

You crinkle your nose, staying put as Van starts picking through his bags.

Soon he’s got his backpack repacked and slung back over one of his shoulders. “Ready?”

It feels like it takes a superhuman amount of effort to get yourself up from the couch, slip your shoes on, and head out the front door with him.

You’re in such a sleepy haze as you direct Van to your house that you almost forget to be anxious that he’ll absolutely hate your place.

But once he pulls up, his range rover out of place behind your beat up car, your anxiety makes itself as present as ever. There’s no driveway, so he’s parked against the sidewalk behind you. You pray nobody scratches his car during the night, even though your neighbors are quite good about that kind of thing. 

“Here it is,” You laugh nervously as you two clamor out of the air conditioning and into the humidity. 

Your front yard is the only space with grass, enclosed with a moderately new white picket fence. You fuss with the latch before it comes undone, and the gate creaks open for Van to follow you down the path to the front porch. Van holds the screen door while you unlock the door.

“Well,” You say, stepping inside, “This is my place.”

You actually love your house. Considering the L.A. housing market, you’re blessed to even rent a home rather than an apartment, let alone without roommates. Renting this space is only made possible by the fact it was one of your ex-girlfriend’s friends that owned it, and he cut you a great deal on rent. 

Van walks around, examining the decor. All of the walls are painted the same color, a light gray that matches the wooden floors nicely. And although furniture is sparse throughout the rest of the house, you’re actually quite proud of the work you’ve done furnishing the front room; There’s a dark blue sectional, although not as plush or big as Van’s, along with a nice coffee table that has storage built into the sides. They sit atop a white and blue striped rug that ties everything together nicely, facing the television sitting proudly on it’s stand. 

The dining table shares the space, a cheap white set with metal legs you had managed to snag on sale. 

You’ve got two bedrooms, but one of them is unfurnished, instead holding boxes of things from your move you’d never felt like unpacking. A lot of it is things you’d packed to move cross country as a teenager. Too sentimental to throw away, too childish to keep around. 

Your actual bedroom is simple, a queen bed and a dresser. A bookshelf that was covered with more clutter than books. You feel yourself holding your breath as Van peeks his head into the different rooms, getting a feel for everything.

“It’s really fucking nice,” He says finally, and you feel yourself exhale. “I love the windows.”

You beam at his mention of the windows. The natural light is one of the things that made you feel like it was love at first sight here. “Me too.”

Van sets his backpack down on the kitchen table. 

“Sorry it’s smaller than you’re used to,” You can’t help but say.

Van cracks a lopsided smile. “I’m used to hotel rooms, really. This place is huge compared to those.”

You laugh, your nerves always eased by his humor. “I’ll get the pizza going.”

The evening slides by quietly. You two work side by side in the kitchen, bumping hips and hands while you place pepperonis. You’re quiet during dinner, too focused on scarfing down your food. Afterward, Van offers to wash the dishes while you start on your shower. You try to talk him out of that plan, but he’s insistent on helping. You eventually give in.

As you scrub your makeup off under the hot water, you realize this is the most natural you’ve ever been in front of Van. Even if you’re not always wearing a full face of makeup like did today, you’re always adamant about having some tinted moisturizer or mascara on when you’re with him. You knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t criticize your appearance; You just hoped he’d keep the shock off of his face when he first sees you.

The hot water invigorates you with a fresh boost of energy, washing off the fatigue that’s been hanging over you since Van’s house.

You head into your bedroom, the only thing covering you the threadbare towel wrapped around you. Van is sitting on your bed, tapping away at his laptop. He doesn’t look up as you make your way to your dresser.

“What’re you doing?” He asks, and you hear the soft noise of his computer closing.

“Getting dressed,” You tell him, procuring a pair of underwear and folded t-shirt from their respective drawers.

“Well, stop,” Van demands. At the slap of his hand against your comforter you turn around, confused. He’s slapped the space next to him, and he motions to it with a nod of his head. “Get over here.”

You feel a laugh bubble up from the nerves stewing in your stomach. “What?”

Even as you question him you still obey, abandoning the underwear and shirt in favor of sitting on the edge of the bed in your towel.

“Lay down,” Van insists, patting the bed again. “I’ve got a favor to return, don’t I?”

You swallow hard. You hadn’t forgotten his proposal, the way it fizzled away with no real resolution. A part of your brain had clung onto his words, nervously hoping he’d follow through. The part of you that didn’t want to get your hopes up had convinced yourself to forget about it and get dressed.

“It doesn’t work that way,” You assure him sternly. “It’s not tit-for-tat.”

Van isn’t phased. His lopsided smile makes another appearance from where he’s already stood up from the bed, stripping away his clothes.

“But that wouldn’t be polite of me.” He tosses his crewneck at you teasingly. It’s damp from being pressed against his post-shower body. You throw it to the floor for him. He does the same with his t-shirt.

Once he’s down to his briefs he meanders around the room, setting the scene. You gaze at him in wide-eyed curiosity as he shuts the bedroom door, turns off the bedside lamp, and motions to the windows.

“Want me to close these?”

The sun was close to slipping under the horizon, the last rays of light weakly shining. And unlike Van’s house, there were neighbors with their own windows close by. “Yeah, close ‘em,” You agree.

Once that’s done Van turns back to you, still sitting shell-shocked on the bed. He motions to your towel, still wrapped tightly around your midsection. “You gonna let go?”

You hadn’t realized how tightly your fingers had been clenching the fold to keep it in place. At his words you relax your hands. The fabric doesn’t unfold all the way, but Van climbs back onto the bed, his fingers slipping against your bare skin as he untucks it. 

“Why are you so tense?” He asks as he slips the towel away from your body, off the edge of the bed. He smiles at you, amused and relaxed. “You’re stiff as a board.”

“I’m nervous.” It’s easier to admit now that the lights are off and the windows are closed. There’s still light pressing against the blinds, but the blanket of shadows relaxes you.

“Bad experiences?”

Van is still fussing with the pillows while he talks to you, getting some to fill the gap between the two sleeping spaces. Once he’s satisfied he pushes at you gently, silently asking you to lay down. You do.

You stare at your ceiling for a moment before answering. “Not really bad.” You chew the inside of your cheek in contemplation. “Mediocre, for sure. Lots of pressure.”

Van’s palm presses warm against the soft skin of your stomach. You shiver, tilting your neck so you can look at him where he’s hovering next to you, sitting on his knees. He swipes his thumb back and forth against your skin in a reassuring motion.

“Lucky for you, there’s no pressure,” He shrugs. “We can always do somethin’ else. Just say the word.”

You nod, taking his words in. “Right.”

He lifts his hand from your stomach, running it through his hair. “No bullshit, remember?”

You remember the pinky promise you’d made after your first date. It feels like forever ago. You jokingly lift you arm to salute him. “No bullshit.”

Van chuckles as he salutes you back. The lightheartedness helps you relax.

After the salute Van climbs up onto his hands and knees, making his way down your body. He places a kiss here or there as he goes; one on your shoulder, one near one of your nipples, by your belly button, the top of your thigh. He takes his time getting comfortable between your legs, squirming and adjusting. He presses his fingertips against the inside of your knees and you let him bend your legs, opening them to his preferred angle.

You clench your hands into the fabric of your comforter, laying there open and vulnerable. The build up is excruciating. He spends time running his fingertips over you, feather light. There’s not enough pressure to create friction but you feel the sparks nonetheless. He nuzzles into the crook of your thigh, his hair tickling you wherever it brushes. You’ve got to reach one of your hands down to scratch an itch from it, and since you’re there you lace your fingers into his hair. It grounds you to be able to feel him, to have an idea of his next move.

It still catches you off guard when he presses his lips right against your clit. He pulls away quickly, leaving a light kiss, but the sensation buzzes through you for much longer. Just when it starts to fizzle out he leans in again, more pressure but too quick again, over as soon as it began. You groan in impatience, tugging on his hair. 

He takes you seriously after that. In one sweeping motion his breath floats hot over your skin before his mouth is pressed against you, there to stay. His lips part for his tongue to caress you, firm but forgiving, rough and smooth and warm all at once and you cry out from it. 

Van is relentless. You can’t catch a full breath, desperately gasping for air as he works enthusiastically and without pause. Even as you squirm against the blankets he’s determined to keep his spot, his face pressing between your legs insistently. It only makes you squirm more, every nerve in your body firing off without being able to catch a break.

You’re so focused on his mouth that the sensation of his calloused fingertips brushing against your entrance goes unnoticed at first. It’s only when he gets a rhythm going, a smooth circle that repeats over and over that you jolt. You don’t have the brainpower to give him any verbal affirmation. Your body lifts it’s hips on its own, instinctively attempting to press down onto his fingers, physically begging for more, more, more. 

If there’s only one lesson you can take from this experience, it’s how attuned Van is to your body. At your hip’s request he eases his two fingers in, pressing slow and deep, persisting even as you clench tight around him, desperate to feel the contours of his fingers.

He makes some small movements, but they’re not necessary. The sensation of being full and also stimulated by his mouth at the same time is so overpowering that he’s barely got to put any work in anymore. The two distinctly different sensations blend together, running up your spine. It feels like you’re about to be split down the center from how good it feels.

Holding Van’s hair just isn’t enough. No matter how tight you were clenching the roots of his hair you needed more. It felt like if you grabbed your comforter you’d rip it apart at the seams. You grope at your pillows, sinking your fingertips into the soft surface, contorting it as your hands clenched into tense fists.

Van groans against you seconds before you come, like he feels something you don’t. His arms hold your thighs open wide as you seize through it, shouting at first before quieting down to moans. You whimper when it’s done washing over you, the sensitivity setting in as he continues to gingerly lick.

“Okay,” You croak, gently nudging at his scalp. “Ow.”

He’s beaming as he pulls away, satisfaction oozing off of him as he wipes at his mouth. 

“Bad experience?” He jokes as he scrambles off of the bed. He’s still in his briefs, a fact that surprises you. He strips them off, clumsy in his eagerness, clamoring back on the bed.

You’re still on cloud nine, too far away to be able to engage with his teasing. You only snort in laughter.

Van’s sitting up on his knees, hand around himself. His dick looks painfully hard.

“Gimme something to blow into.” His voice is laced with urgency.

“C’mere,” You murmur, spreading your legs apart. You use a hand on his side to try and guide him to kneel between your legs, but he falters in confusion. “Between my legs,” You whine, too hazy for explanations.

He knees you as he repositions himself. Unable to read your mind, he starts jerking off again, preparing to come on your thighs. 

“Hold on, chill out,” You grumble playfully, batting his hand away from himself. 

He huffs in frustration but you ignore him, stretching your arm to the limit in order to grasp the bottle of lotion you’d left on your bedside table the other day after moisturizing after your shower. You squeeze a good dollop into your palm before wrapping your fingers around him. His sigh of relief cuts so raw through his throat you feel your body buzz with an aftershock. 

“Come forward a little,” You guide him, jerking him off over your stomach. He thrusts against your hand, his balls hanging heavy between his legs. 

You do him the favor of using your other hand to lend them some attention, realizing with regret you had no idea what his preferences were. Thankfully, your standard palming seems to work fine.

You watch his face as he comes, your focus unbroken as he splatters hot and thick all over your stomach. You keep your hand moving until you see the tension ease out of his forehead and around his eyes. Until he’s finally blinking back at you, disoriented.

There’s only the sound of heavy breathing for a moment. It’s jarring compared to all the noise that previously filled the room. 

“I gotta go clean myself off,” You excuse yourself quickly, feeling his come dry against your skin. You make your way on wobbly legs to the bathroom, soaking a towel in the sink before scrubbing at your stomach. 

You startle when Van taps at the door. At your invitation he peeks his head in, watching your futile attempt to clean his mess. Everywhere the water dried there was a crusty sheen of white. 

“Get in the shower with me,” He mumbles, taking it upon himself to start fussing with the knobs, getting the water running without any assistance. 

“You just showered,” You point out.

“Gotta rewash my hair.” He sounds completely zapped of energy.

You abandon the wet hand towel on the tile, deciding to worry about it tomorrow. You climb back into the shower you’d just emerged from, shifting around the tight space to share it with Van, who’s already wetting his hair.

It’s strange being in this space with Van. You’ve never been one for casual nakedness, always at least wearing a shirt and underwear around the house. Standing in the fluorescent bathroom lighting, watching Van carefully rinse away any excess lotion from the folds of his foreskin feels too intimate. You focus on yourself instead, keeping your head bent low while you run your loofa over your stomach. It only takes Van a few minutes to massage your shampoo through his hair, and then you two are getting back out. You pass him a towel before wrapping one around yourself. 

“Got a toothbrush I can borrow?” He requests, and you pull a spare one from the closet, letting him struggle with the cardboard packaging as you get a head start brushing your own teeth. 

He bumps you with his hip, nudging you over so you two can both share the mirror. 

Then you’re both back in your bedroom, a sense of deja vu as you get dressed in the shirt and underwear that was already sitting on top of the dresser.

The quiet starts to worry you as you climb into bed. You worry suddenly that this was intended to be some sort of goodbye. That this whole strange ritual of head-giving and spending the night at your place and staying close to each other was Van’s way of giving you guys a last hurrah before letting you know that he realized things weren’t working. Maybe the hypothetical London girl wanted commitment. 

Van lights a cigarette as you slip under the sheets with him.

“So…” He starts, before looking over at you. You gulp.

“That was… not mediocre, right?”

You roll your eyes. “Shut up.”

“M’serious!” Van laughs, his cigarette moving dangerously through the air as he gestures with his hands.

“You just want me to stroke your ego,” You scoff, lightly elbowing him. 

“Guess I’m the devil for checking in on you, then.” Van shrugs in a faux pout.

“What do you want me to say?” You tip your head back, sighing dramatically. “Oh, Van McCann, that was the best head I’ve ever gotten. I’ve only come twice from head and it’s been from you both times.” You flop down onto your mattress dramatically. “I’m truly so blessed you chose me tonight out of all those girls at the show.”

“Oh, that was a low blow,” Van jokes, hand over his heart in mock pain. “No need to bring up the groupies.”

You giggle, flipping onto your stomach and shifting your weight on your elbows so you can look up at him. 

“I guess I’m just asking because I’m confused,” Van says, tapping his ashes into the empty can of Coke he’d left on the bedside table. “Like you said, you’ve only ever made it across the finish line two times. But… you had that girlfriend, didn’t you?”

You tense in habitual defensiveness. Through the course of your relationship with her, and any time coming out after, fielding questions from nosy men who want you to indulge them in their girl-on-girl fantasies is a familiar insult. 

“Did I have a girlfriend? Yes,” You play dumb, pressing him for a question with more specifics. 

Van sees right through you. He rolls his eyes. “I mean, lads aren’t great at getting it right, y’know. Your setup’s fucking confusing. I’m the first to admit I’m daft about the whole thing and fucking shit to sleep with. But wouldn’t another girl get it?”

At its core, Van’s question has a lewd essence you’ve encountered before. One that wants you to describe how good women are in bed, how they always get it right and every encounter is sensual and just like they’ve seen in porn. 

But it’s clear Van has a genuine interest. A real desire to get to know you better and learn about your sexual history. With that in mind, you sigh.

“I mean…” You start, then stop. Try to carefully put your words together. “First of all, every girl has a different… setup. You’ve got to know that much,” You narrow your eyes at him, accusatory.

Van waves his hand in dismissal. “Right. Does my head in.”

“Well it’s the same with guys! I can’t walk up to any guy on the street and know exactly what he’d like. You might know your way around- for the most part- but it’s still different with everyone. Plus,” You feel self-consciousness creep over you at how intently Van’s clinging onto your words, “We were each other’s first girl, ya know, so it was all new and weird. And she wasn’t very interested in that sort of thing. It’s not something we did often. I dunno. It just didn’t work the way you think it does.”

Van stubs his cigarette out. “And how do I think it works?”

“Like porn,” You insist. “That’s how everyone thinks it goes.”

Van shakes his head, amused. “I’m grown enough to know that absolutely nothing goes like porn, okay? You say shit that I get curious about!” 

When you don’t respond, he elaborates.

“Like… If you’re telling me you’ve never come from getting head, and I’m planning on doing that, I’d like to know why!” He laughs, throwing up his hands in innocence. “Like I said, I’m shit! I’d like to improve my chances!”

You shake your head in disbelief. “You’re weird!” You tell him. “Asking about exes is weird! I don’t wanna know about yours. It makes for competition.”

You flop onto your back after your declaration, feeling Van’s body shake in silent laughter beside you.

“I lied,” You blurt out, rolling onto your side to click your lamp off as Van starts to settle in. “I do wanna know one thing.”

“Alright.”

“How many have you told about the roughing-up thing?”

“None. And you weren’t supposed to remember that,” He frowns in the darkness at you.

“None? Really?”

“Well… Most of the times something would happen organically, I guess. Things get rough in the moment, y’know. But I never spelled it out.”

You hum. There’s a strand of hair that’s flopped over his eyes, and you carefully tuck it away. “Gotcha,” You say around a yawn.

The room goes quiet.

“G’night,” You tell Van, giving him a pat on his shoulder before turning around, nestling into your sheets.

“Night,” Van says quietly.

Soon, the room glows blue from his phone.

\\