#and then when the dust clears everyone is like 'maybe you don't have anxiety maybe you have heart disease'

[therealnotta]

finally rereading the first wizard of oz book. why do they feel so ooc. did i recreate them in my own mind, changing them imperceptibly until they were no longer the same, or do they really just change that much as the series goes on. scarecrow says he's scared of matches day ONE and i distinctly remember him, seconds from being burned at the stake, going "go ahead. you can't kill what was never alive, and if a table doesn't complain about being chopped up for firewood then why should i?"

also when they meet the lion he's all "yeah it makes my heart race :(" and the crew is just like "huh. maybe you have heart disease actually not cowardice :/" HUH CAN YOU IMAGINE????? and the lion is like "huh! maybe i do???" and tin man over here's like "aw you should be grateful bc it means you have a heart, i'll never be able to have heart disease :(" NICK THATS A GOOD THING ITS THE ONE BENEFIT OF YOUR CONDITION?????????????????

[pieroulette]

IN THE GYM, INSIDE YOU | KEI &TEAM (TEASER)

WARNING ↪ gym sex (at hybe gym lmfao), dom!kei, sub!reader, established relationship, pet names, u calling kei as daddy, dry humping, choking, oral sex (f and m receiving), breeding kink, size training/kink, saliva play, profanity. and more u see.. 🙈

WORD COUNT ↪1.6K (the full fic are estimated to be over 10-12k lmfao PLS)

AUTHOR'S NOTE ↪ not proofread, so some minor errors and grammatical errors.. i'm just trying to get back to my momentum of posting on Tumblr again. BUT IM CRINGING ALOT HELP I CANT STOP GAGGING LMFAO-

The cool breeze of the night sky as you passed through the convenience store shot a severe chill down your spine, despite having a thick hoodie over your pyjamas. Now that you think of it, it is a bad move. Brushing the tip of your thumb across the shelf as you picked one of Kei's favourite ready-made coffee drinks, you recalled the way he called you an hour ago.

His voice dripped in a heavy tone of honey, almost like a melodic hymn of desperation as he enunciate every syllable of your name. As if he was begging for you to come as fast as you can, and when you expressed your initial concern over his odd request, he brushes it off as being exhausted by his current workout routine.

A night workout routine, he repeated.

After exiting out of the automatic door screen, your peripheral vision caught on the remnants of illusionary dusts in the form of a human, and the stray cats scattering beside the over filled trash can, and the serene moonlit sky brought about a good amount of anxiety in you. It is after all, the after dark. Where the world switches off to an underworld vibe, pulling of its black velvet cloaks with indifference that it had hidden beneath the entire sunlit day.

Screw you, Kei.

After dark was when people ripped apart their moral ethics, goodie traits, and humane characteristics—revealing their innate desires they had been keeping to their core.

"Kei?"

Not an answer did you receive as you pushed open the black velvet door, only the cool breeze of the AC and it's audible sound surrounding the gym greeted your ears. You assumed that Kei must have left.

"Hey."

Your head turned to the owner of the voice you knew so well, a lazy smile pulled up on your cheeks as you met those dark grey orbs laced with affectionate words all over it.

"Hey, Kei." Giving the ice cold can coffee to him as you approached him, "Quite cruel of you to call me at 2am, seriously."

With no hesitation, he pulled you into his embrace, leaning in closer as he buried his face in your neck, sniffing in your scent which immediately engulfed his exhausted soul in a safe amount of euphoria and craze. "I miss you, though. Don't I have the right to call my girlfriend anymore?"

"At least look at the time." You pouted as you pulled away, squinting your eyes in a playful manner. "Everyone's sleeping right now, and you're the only one pulling up a goddamn Greek god workout routine."

An audible giggle squeezed its way out of Kei's mouth, his doe eyes crinkling into crescents. "Greek god, eh? I'm a Greek god to you then?" His finger dusted off the rosy hues on the tip of your nose, cooing at your childlikeness.

"Well, maybe." You shrugged, sitting yourself leisurely on one of the gym's chairs, swaying your feet up and down. It didn't go past your eyes how Kei leaned against the pull-up machine, a loud pop emitting from his thumbs in the process of opening the can, his plump lips lapping against the edge as he slurped it down his throat—where his Adam's apples protrude in a sensual motion, one that sent havoc into your mind.

Breaking your fixated gaze onto somewhere else, you cleared your throat in attempts to take off your not so holy thoughts in a brief moment. Mentally slapping yourself on the inside, but oh well, scoring a boyfriend like Kei ain't a damn joke.

"How was work?" His melodic voice flows into your ears again.

"Tiring, but it's okay. It's my job anyway, got to have enough fat money to buy what I want. Heh." Dusting off the tips of your two fingers, mimicking the action of counting money before the boy causes his gorgeous lip to let out another audible giggle.

"I love how you're independent, it's damn cool to even think of it.. but you see, why don't you depend on me?"

"Hm?"

"Depend on me." Kei repeated with doe eyes wholly fixated on your form, "It's just a suggestion, but I would really adore having to take care of you all by my own, every little thing."

Well chosen string of words got your already tangled heart in an even tighter knot, "I could take care of myself, though. I don't need a sugar daddy yet." You stuck your tongue out in a mischievous manner, that alone had him shaking his head with a round of giggles. "But that's sweet of you, Kei."

"No, but." Pair of sneakers approach you with every low rise and down of steps, his palms having the remnants of water beads as he puts down the ice can on the machine's flat edge.

Halting his step before you with his towering height, the light above the ceiling illuminated the top of his ash strands all while casting a matte shadow on his features—giving him a somewhat eerie look, yet his orbs held so much more in it that it had you unconsciously gripping your finger on the edge.

His long finger and thumb brushes your cheek in a circular pattern, and then down to your neck. "I want to take care of you. I've been thinking since much, much long time ago. I want to look after you, care for you in every way possible. It just hurts to see you punching yourself in the chest whenever your shitty boss ruined your day."

Touched by his words, "Work days are pretty much like that, Kei. Having a shitty boss is an unfortunate bonus, that is."

Your sentences comes to a halt as you notice the way his orbs lingered on your lips, the sensation of his index finger ghostly rubbed your lower lip had your heart skipping a thump, yet you hold on to your firm character—arching the corner of your lip in a mischievous smirk. "Does my lips look that pretty for you, Mr. Kei?"

"Mr. Kei?" His plump lips pursed in a giggle, "I'd like your lips on mine, if that's okay for you, Mrs. Koga."

Enthusiasm filled your chest, and you were sure he did as well the way he confirmed your given permission through your lit up blaze eyes. His index finger on your lips found its way on the back of your neck, splayed tight. His other hand spreaded against your hips, pulling you closer to his body as he sealed your lips in his wet cavern.

Kissing Kei always felt like the first time for you. It didn't go past your notice how his warm cheeks pulled up even higher as you let him in through your tongue, tasting each other to the point of maniacal craze. Your eyelashes fluttered up to reveal your curious orbs, taking a brief glance at the wall clock behind Kei's obscured ruffled ash hair.

1:07 A.M. — The after dark where suppressed desires begin to reveal themselves, manifesting into low seductive whispers and sneaky touches.

"Scrap the sugar part," Kei's breath ghost against your ear, sending a round of butterflies in your stomach. Your eyes lingered on his swollen red lips enunciating each word in a clear hushed tone, yet sensual rhythm. "Your daddy can take care of you right here, right now."

"Now where do you want daddy to touch you?" Kei lapped his wet cavern across your neck, a slight moan left your lips at the bold gesture.

"Please."

"Please what, babygirl? You have to tell daddy where exactly he should touch you."

"I-inside me, daddy." Lust fogged your mind, yet the sight of the gym machines pushed the logical part in the surface, physically manifesting to your hands stopping Kei's ones. "We aren't going to do it here, r-right?"

You enunciate the question in confirmation, you need him inside you right now but you dead ass wouldn't want to get caught in the act and possibly ruin his career. But the way Kei's lust filled orbs lazily darted to look at behind him, it seems like he had no intention of bringing your intimacy behind an appropriate place.

"Where's the thrill then, baby?" Kei whispered, "Look it's 1am right now, I doubt someone's going to come in. But well, it would be good either way cuz' someone can see how I'll take you all to myself."

That was enough to rule your mind into overdrive, giving in to Kei and embarking in this bold dangerous act. The thrill, the suspense of getting caught, his large hands spreading all over your skin, his lips nipping onto your bare skin; everything fuels into your brazen mode.

This wild desires of exhibitionism; his greatest will to flaunt you and show to everyone that you belong to him. Kei had always been a dominant man, oozing uncontrollably from his aura ever since you first laid your eyes on him, there was no doubt. Your suspicions were further confirmed by his utmost dedication in perfecting his craft or whatever it is he deemed to be of great importance.

And one of them was romance, which immediately rooted back to you. The apple in his eyes, which he oh so desire to devour more than it takes and how he greatly detests anyone who dared to lay their hands on you.

He turns you around, your back hitting his chest and before your mind could process anything—wet slick tongue lapped across your neck down to your exposed shoulder, his fingers pulling the material each centimetre. Yet you couldn't focus on anything but on his tongue doing it's magical wonders on your skin, sending electrifying sensation into your veins and cells.

"K-kei—" his other hand flattened deep inside your shirt, stroking circular patterns on your tummy and into your navel.

"Shh, lemme take care of you." He whispered, and you didn't fail to sense his growing smirk. "Now where do we begin?"

「 © talesofyuan on tumblr 2023 」 all rights reserved. do not copy or post without permission.

[barry-j-blupjeans]

@taznovembercelebration - New start / Repeat

If twice was a coincidence and three times was a pattern, Lucretia had no fucking clue what five resets in a row meant. All she knew is that she was running out of journal space. Back on world one- plane one? Year one?- Taako and Lup had helped her ground down leaves into a fine enough paste to pass as paper after she realized she was going to need more journal space. The pages were brittle, but not unusable. They had hastily bound the books with several different things- the one Lucretia used for the majority of world two had one of Magnus's shirts as a cover.

She had been trying to only write down the important things, but five incredible, beautiful, dangerous worlds had made it hard for her to make up her mind on what truly counted as important. Was a new plant none of them had ever encountered before important? Was the minuscule city of pill bugs from world one important? Was it more important to write down the ships' inventory, like she had been trained to do, or to write down the crews' feelings on it all? At this point, she honestly didn't know.

"Alright," Davenport said. He flicked a piece of dust off the table. "So. Things we know so far: the... Thing that keeps coming back every year is, uh, probably gonna keep coming. We don't know what it wants but Lucretia you had a- a theory? Maybe?"

One thing is for sure: Five years of being in close confines with six other people almost made talking in front of them bearable and not anxiety-inducing.

"Theory is... a strong word," Lucretia said, flipping through her journal from last year. The cover of this one was simply cardboard and flimsy cardboard at that. "So, uhm. First off, I've been calling the Thing something new in my journals- it was supposed to just be like, a shorthand, but then I didn't like the shorthand, so I came up with the Hunger. And if- we don't have to use that name, I mean, but if you hear me say the word Hunger it means the- the Thing, not that I'm hungry. Usually."

"It's- it's fitting from what we've seen, though," Barry said.

"It also sounds rad as fuck to say," Lup said. "Like... we're being chased by the Thing doesn't sound nearly as cool as we're being chased by the Hunger."

"Oh!" Merle said. "I got shivers!"

"See," Lup said. Davenport cleared his throat. "Oh, right. Go for it, Luce."

"You're good," Lucretia said. "My idea is that like... well, the animals had the Light in world one, right? But then we found it in world three again, so obviously it didn't stay with them. But I'm sure everyone remembers last year when it was gone after the Hunger showed up-"

"That gave me shivers," Magnus said.

"Yeah, it was pretty bad," Lucretia said. "But maybe the Hunger is like... attracted to the Light, like the animals in world one and the plants in world three? I'm sure Barry, and maybe Lup or Dav, can attest to this but the Light wants to be wanted. If that makes sense?"

"I'm not understanding," Davenport said, his eyebrows scratched together.

"It wants you to- to be near it," Barry said. "That's why I had it in the box in the lab? It was lessened a little when it was in there, but anytime you went near it, it would like... want you. Like, try to reel you in. A very literal example is probably like, uh, a moth to a porch light? It draws you in."

"Is that why you were just staring at it when I asked you if you wanted coffee one time?" Magnus said. Barry's ears flushed.

"Prob- yeah, probably," he said.

"So you're saying that the Thing- the Hunger feels that want too?" Davenport said. "And that's why it always comes back?"

"It's a theory," Lucretia said.

"It's a pretty damn good theory, though," Barry said. "If I- Luce, could I borrow a page?"

"One," Lucretia said. She flipped to the back of the journal and very carefully tore a page out. "I'm nearly out and this is my last one."

"I can help you make more," Barry said. "Or, uh, Lup and Taako can show me how to help you make more. But this is-" he pulled a pen out of his pocket. They were probably never going to run out of pens, seeing as Barry had several on hand the first time they reset. "But that's- that's a good theory, we just gotta find out like, why it takes so long, and what's sending us to these worlds. Plus, like, the resetting and everything- I need a list."

"We should come up with a cooler name for that, too," Taako said.

"A list?"

"No, the- ugh. The resetting? Like, calling them worlds is fine, I guess, but now we've got a vibe with the Hunger, right?" Lucretia nodded. It had put a much heavier vibe on the whole thing. "Saying world makes it sound like a shitty sci-fi thing, I don't know."

"New... repeat?" Magnus offered.

"But we're not really repeating," Taako said. "Like, it's not a new start every time. That implies everything resets and as far as I know, the only thing that does that is us."

"Which we also need to figure out," Lup said. "Barry, pass me a pen."

"Gotcha."

"Luce-" Lucretia was already ripping out another page. Seven left. Yikes. "Thanks, babe."

"Rotations?" Merle offered.

"We're not orbiting anything!"

"Revolution."

"That's even worse, actually."

"Cycles," Davenport said. Taako opened his mouth, probably to heckle some more, but paused. After a second, Taako slowly started nodding.

"That," he said. "Is a fucking suggestion." He hit Magnus and Merle with a stare. "That's what good input sounds like. Luce, vibe check it for me."

"Cycle sounds like the best we have so far," Lucretia said. "This would cycle five then? Because we're not counting home, I think."

She'd be twenty-four if her body didn't keep resetting. Fuck, did other parts of her age during this? Would her brain just give up after a while? She glanced at Barry, who had broken off into a side conversation with Lup about the Hunger. If they did start aging, Barry would probably be the fir-

"Cycles it is, then," Davenport said, standing up. "Here's to hoping we won't be doing this long enough to have to come up with more names for things. Ready to set off again?"

"Ready," Magnus said. Barry gave a distracted thumbs up and Merle just got up from his seat, pattering towards the door. Lucretia took a deep breath. They were going to figure this out before anyone else had the chance to die again. Or for real. Frankly, the less time she spent thinking about death, the better.

"Ready," Lucretia said. Davenport patted her on the back as he passed.

Cycle five, Lucretia thought. Here we go.

[ariella-schoenheit]

🌞 you're my sunshine 🌞

Valeria x reader

A/n: Idk if it gender neutral but I never specified the gender. Just fluff and love. Mentions of spicy themes but not too bad. Once again. I didn't re read this I'm going feral y'all.

(I need a Valeria/Rudy/Alejandro/Simon in my life.).

Valeria thinks of you, her lovely partner. Often. She hopes that she comes into your mind as much as you into hers. It drives her to be more productive at work, so she can come home to her sunshine lover.

You've met her family and they loved you eventually, after winning all their hearts like how you did to hers. You remained true to your intentions and your little quirks and antics have become endearing to them.

Valeria is greatly relieved that her family loves you the same way she does, maybe even more. One less problem out of the way.

"A gentle soul to calm the hot fire of Valeria Garza." They would say. You smiled gently as they proceeded to shower you with love, trusting that you wouldn't break Valeria's heart . Although if Valeria was the one who broke yours, she would not hear the end of it. That's how much they love you.

Sometimes they marvelled at you could calm her wildest fire with your mere touch. Valeria was one of the more troublesome kids in the neighborhood and is no different in adulthood. As El sin Nombre, she's bound to run into heaps of troubles.you would go out of your way to prepare a nice surprise for Valeria, whether it be cooking her favourite meals or wearing that laced lingerie she loves so much...

Valeria hates to see you upset. She want to see that pretty smiles of yours with your Rosy cheeks and gleaming eyes. If she's the cause of the upset, she would feel different levels of guilty, depending on what your upset about. You rarely ever have major agreements but when you do, she makes sure both of you are at least in a safe space. Goes stiffly says she going out to clear her head and leaves you in your room. Last thing she wants is to lose you over things that shouldn't be said.

She makes it up by small but noticeable gestures, and mutters a "I'm sorry mi amor, can we not fight?it breaks my heart to see you like this" in your hair as you cuddle in bed the morning after. She absorbs anything you say to her, she's able to take it.

" Do you even know how much it worries me? I'm so riddled with anxiety and you ran brazenly into the gunfire! How could you do that?"

She hugs you tight, her heart swelling up at the thought that you care for her wellbeing. She promises she'll be careful and does exactly that. She does everything she can to make it up to you and she holds her promise.

Valeria spoils you to death. Anything you want, you get. That cute designer bag you briefly glanced at? It's on the dining table the next morning she has to leave early. Or the seasonal fruit that has an ungodly price tag attached to it? You have a whole carton waiting for you, only the freshest and best of the bunch. But you don't ask for much material things. You simply ask " what time are you coming home?" and she's ordering everyone to work twice as fast and hard to go home early. The pests that don't wanna pay up? Gone. The pesky government agencies trying to bust her business. Done and dusted. She arrives home at around lunch time and you're pleasantly surprised. You spend the whole day doing alot of wholesome things before the mood changes at night ;)

ARGH IM SO DOWN BAD AND IM NOT GONNA TRY TO GET LMFAO 😆😆

[lavenoon]

Hello, I snuck some time to read and AHHHHH! So many little things that I love about all this! Robin does need that time to figure stuff out, even though it probably hurt them a lot to do it by themselves, and we see some of the consequences in the dream in Lingering Concern.

It's something I really love about them actually! They are really bold and reckless sometimes, and super confident, but the points in which they are insecure can be crushing to them. And it would make sense that usually they don't see the need to deal with those (or maybe even notice them) because of the nature of their job and how they were pretty isolated before the boys' arrival, but now they are hit with all the force of it and the fact that they do not handle it well at all after all. In the end, the three of them ended up unintentionally hurting each other, and all of them have their regrets, but they are on their way to mend it all now, at least!

I also liked how the accident Sun and Moon were in is sort of symbolic in a way! Things, literally and metaphorically, blew up in their faces, and sure, perhaps with enough time they could all heal by themselves, but it's together that they can achieve it faster. They all really needed to hear they hadn't made the other hate them.

I loved that Sun was quick to not let them keep apologizing and blaming themself by pointing out the funny coincidences XD Immediately letting his cheeky self show too haha! Also, really loved the "They are both me" line! Not only because it's a good way for Moon to make a point, but also I squinted a little wondering if perhaps it was a way to confirm about his particular worry. Asking if it's Robin or y/n whose more real, because he still was hurt by thinking Robin might actually not like him at all and the sweet neighbor got the "true" opinion on the matter. But now they all know! And even though there are more things to address, at least they can be assured that there's no need to run or hide and they can work on them together!

Amazing work as always, Luce!

HEHE glad you found the time!! <3

It certainly wasn't an ideal situation - but it was the way they had to figure it out. That's just how things are sometimes, and it's just the fallout they set themself up for, their only two pillars of support being who they need distance from to process!

And yup! Reminder to reread Lingering Concern, because now you guys have all the context! <3

Y/N was super isolated, and they didn't even think it's an issue - that's a lot of trust issues and loneliness they repressed, and it all comes back to hit them in the face when they go back to that after having close friends for the first time in years, plus the added anxiety about everything else! AU is just a long elaborate story that ends with "everyone gets a family" <3

AND YES YES THANK YOU I am so proud of the theme of the bomb - almost unreasonably, maybe. Shrapnel for the immediate reaction, Settling Dust for the slightly calmer outlook, Landmine for when things surprisingly get even worse, and then First Aid (where the actual bomb goes off) gets actual first aid - for all the emotional and physical consequences!

Sun was a tad more forgiving with Y/N - Moon got to be a little snappy, a bit harsher - but he didn't see them literally burst through the door and then collapse into tears of relief upon seeing him again. It's a big dose of reassurance, and for Sun that just means he really doesn't need to linger with all the guilt and regret. Of course they still talk - get some things out, clear up misunderstandings. But most importantly for him is the assurance that Y/N doesn't want them to leave. His anxiety is about the future.

Moon needed to hear that they do know him, that he knows them, and that he doesn't have to reassess all they went through together. Of course he's also worried about the future - but only because he's not sure he can trust the past. They address their specific worries, and Y/N gets the full dose of everything. Their boys won't leave, and they always cared <3

Glad it hit the spot! It was tons of fun writing it, or I wouldn't have gotten lost in the word count like that GFDHSJ

[ssa-montgomery]

hold onto me 'cause I'm a little unsteady

Word Count: 2047

Summary: Y/N's OCD is triggered while on a case and Hotch is there to help.

Characters: Hotch x GN!Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, description of a panic attack, reader suffers from OCD, description of a pretty gross house, emotional hurt/comfort

A/N: Yeah so I'll be honest I'm not entirely sure what this is. It's really just a vent piece I guess, everything included in this is really just my own personal experience and probably isn't accurate for everyone. I'm not even sure if this will appeal to many people but I thought I'd post it for those who may want to read it :)

Prompt(s): "I don't care if I don't get any sleep tonight. As long as I can be there for you."

Feedback is what motivates me to work so please let me know what you think! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.

Taglist is open!

Masterlist

This was the worst place you'd had to search in a while, maybe not the worst on the scale of mentally scarring unsub torture houses you'd dug through but the worst in the terms of filth. It became apparent the second you walked in that keeping his house clean was not at the top of this unsubs list. There was a thick layer of dust across every surface and a mountain of plates, glasses and take away containers had been left out to mould in most rooms, the worst of it concentrated in the kitchen.

The feeling of uneasiness crept into your chest as you made your way around, conscious of your movements as you tried your best not to touch off anything. The field was no place for your anxieties and you always did your best to keep them at bay as much as you could but sometimes - times like this - something just got under your skin and you couldn't shake the feeling. The precinct received an anonymous tip naming this house as the home base of your unsub and you rode out with Morgan and Hotch to check it out.

You'd since spilt up to search around after clearing the house and you were now standing alone in the middle of what seemed to have once been a study. You made your way over to the desk to examine an old journal in hopes that it could give you some insight into the life of your unsub. The journal didn't seem helpful as you quickly skimmed over the page it was left open on, it more than likely belonged to the previous owners of the house and not your unsub at all.

You moved to turn the page over wanting to make sure there wasn't anything useful but as you did your wrist brushed against something on the table, the sudden feeling making you drop the journal back onto the table. You weren't entirely sure what it was that you'd touched but it left an uncomfortable feeling against your skin.

"Y/L/N, you alright?" You pulled your gaze away from your wrist and turned to see Hotch standing in the doorway, watching you curiously.

"I um, yeah, sorry I just I thought I found something but it's nothing." You stuttered out trying to refocus yourself on the task at hand instead of on the way your skin now felt like it was crawling, or the growing urge to run to the nearest bathroom and scrub your hands clean. Not that you'd actually be able to clean anything in this house, in fact, you guessed that the bathroom was probably in worse condition than this room.

"Okay well I think we're done here, there's nothing else we can find. It's time to head home for the night, we can regroup in the morning." That was the one good thing about this case, it was based close enough to Quantico that you could go home to your own apartment rather than to some hotel every night. You most certainly needed that right now. All you wanted to do was get home to somewhere that felt safe.

You nodded and followed Hotch downstairs as you made your way outside, staying quiet as you went. Working with profilers it was hard to keep anything a secret and most of the time someone would always pick up on it when something was wrong. You could tell that was happening now as Hotch let you walk ahead of him, his eyes watching you closely as you went. He didn't say anything, clearly not wanting to press the issue and you appreciated that.

"Y/N, ride with me." Hotch insisted once you got outside, pulling the passenger door open for you. "I'm heading your way anyway so I'll drop you home."

"Sure, thank you, Hotch." You agreed after a moment's hesitation. You were sure you wouldn't be great company with the growing panic in your chest- that only seemed to be getting worse but frustratingly slowly - but you could use the distraction.

The drive to your apartment wasn't that long, twenty minutes at max but now that you had stopped and allowed your brain a moment to catch up with itself every minute seemed to drag out forever.  Your initial fears had just continued to grow sending you into a tailspin of anxiety until it felt like it was pushing down on your chest, making it hard for you to breathe. While you'd enjoyed the silence at first it was now only making you feel worse as you had no way to shut out any of your thoughts. You were so focused on keeping your hands away from your clothes, not wanting to have to worry about changing completely once you got inside that you'd barely noticed the SUV coming to a stop.

Hotch unbuckled his seat belt and turned in his seat to face you. He must have been able to read everything that was building inside you on your face as he started to reach a hand out towards you before stopping himself, instead, resting it on the edge of your seat.

"Can I come up with?" He asked gently. "I can tell somethings wrong and I don't want to leave you alone like this."

You just nodded your head, not trusting your voice to answer him. It happened every time you spiralled into a panic attack, slowly you started to shut down until you weren't even able to speak with shaking uncontrollably. You climbed out of the car and headed towards your apartment, letting Hotch trail behind you as you went. You felt like your body was on autopilot as you reached into your bag and pulled out your keys, unlocking your door with shakey hands.

You dropped everything the second you stepped into your apartment and darted towards the bathroom leaving Hotch standing awkwardly in your hallway. Once the bathroom door shut behind you, you started the tap running the warm water over your hands. You scrubbed where your wrist had touched against the object, rinsing the soap away before repeating the process again and again until the repetition finally started to calm your nerves.

It was enough to stop the feeling of your skin crawling but the anxiety that had built up still weighted down on you and refused to budge as you fought back tears, finally meeting your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were red and watery with unshed tears. You tried to swallow the feeling, stepping out of the bathroom to return to Hotch. When you found him he'd made his way into your living room and was standing next to your couch.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice laced with concern when he turned to meet your eyes.

You shook your head not even sure how to begin to explain to Hotch how you were feeling. You'd never told any of the team the true extent of what you dealt with and while you were sure they'd picked up on pieces of it nobody really knew the truth. It felt no matter how hard you tried to explain it, you could never find the right words. You walked towards the couch but instead of taking a seat, you sunk to the floor in front of it, leaning back against it. The feeling of the hard floor beneath your hands helping to ground you. Hotch moved around the couch to join you, sitting close but not quite close enough to touch.

"How can I help?" He questioned watching as you tried to hold in the sob that threatened to spill out. Some of your comforts felt silly now that you were faced with the idea of explaining them to Hotch. You were always afraid of being judged for the things you needed in moments like these but you needed at least a small comfort right now.

"Can you um, can you light the candle on the fireplace?" You asked nervously gesturing towards one of your larger scented candles that sat on your fireplace. Hotch nodded and reached for the nearby lighter before lighting the candle. It took a few tries for the flame to take but once it did he returned to his place next to you.

You took a deep breath, focusing on the rich scent that filled your nose. Sometimes when your body went into sensory overload like this the candles helped. The focus on one major sense that you could control helped to settle your body. You were very aware of Hotch's presence next to you and the need for comfort resurfaced stronger than ever when his hand brushed against yours on the floor. Hotch had always been a comforting presence in your life, while maybe you weren't incredibly close he was there for you when you needed him.

Before you could stop yourself you turned and buried your face in the crook of his neck, finally letting out the sob you had been holding back. You felt Hotch tense at first, clearly taken aback by your sudden movement but in less than second his arms were wrapped around you pulling you closer to him. The feeling of his arms around you was overwhelming as you finally let out everything you'd been feeling. You tightened your arms around his waist as you clung to him, your whole body shaking with the force of your sobs. Hotch brought one hand to rest on the back of your head while he tangled his fingers in your hair holding you tight against his chest. His other hand smoothed across your back, rhythmically running up and down your spine as he whispered comforting words in your ear.

"Shush Y/N, it's okay. I'm right here." He mumbled next to your ear, his voice quiet as he tried to calm you. His voice was soothing, every word helping you catch your breath just that little bit more. "You're safe here."

When your sobs finally stopped, reduced to sniffles as you tried your best to catch your breath, you slumped against Hotch's chest. You weren't sure if you were calmer now or simply becoming numb. You let him hold you, too exhausted both mentally and physically to even try and move away.

"It's hard sometimes." You started, your voice was hoarse from crying as slightly muffled as you kept your face buried in the crook of his neck. "To feel safe when that happens, when my own brain won't let me stop out of fear of something as minor as germs and dirt hurting me. So thank you. Thank you for staying."

"Of course, Y/N." Hotch nodded, his hand still stroking through your hair as your breath fanned against his neck. "If you ever need to talk or if you ever need time off you can always come to me. I want to help."

"I don't want to keep you all night." You said as you finally pushed yourself away from Hotch and rubbed at your teary eyes. You could feel the pressure of a headache building and all you wanted was to crawl into your bed and to forget the world. You didn't want to keep Hotch up all night just because you were having a rough night. "You should go home, get some rest."

You went to stand, pushing yourself up from where you were sitting but just before you got to your feet you felt Hotch gently grasp your hand in his. He tugged you back down next to him and cupped your cheek in his free hand.

"I don't care if I don't get any sleep tonight. As long as I can be there for you." You were surprised by the sincerity in his voice but there was something in his eyes, a determination to help that had you melting back into the contact. You stopped fighting it and let him.

"Can we just, stay here for a while?" You whispered.

He nodded at you and wrapped you up in his arms again, helping you settle comfortably into his lap. You rested your head against his chest, letting your eyes flutter shut as you listened to the steady beat of his heart as you eventually drifted off to sleep.

Taglist: @marauder-level-chaos

[yanderenightmare]

ooooooooooohhhhhhh bully!bakugo pleaseeeeee feed me! like I don't know if you do underage things like school, but you can keep it sfw

yandere bully ! BAKUGO KATSUKI

goodiebag WARNINGS: abuse, anxiety, bullying, paranoia, NONCON elements, stalking, manipulation, profanity, anger issues, arson mentions, trauma

TIP-JAR

PART TWO

IN CASE OF FIRE: PUSH ALARM

In many ways, Bakugo was her morning alarm clock.

A shrill shriek of a sound she wanted nothing more but to ignore and rake at her ears until she grew deaf. An impact, taking a toll on her whole day. Something to regret. And something to dread the next morning.

Something that follows her, haunts her, hunts her in the hours she’s without it and blares like sirens or howls from some great monster when it’s caught her.

Alarm clocks can’t push her to the ground though, that’s where Bakugo deviates.

And he’s always pushing. Toppling her books with a flick of his wrist. Pushing and squeezing and pulling at her like a rag doll. Pushing her into the wall. Pushing screams to come bursting from her lungs. Pushing tears to well up in her eyes. Pushing her sanity.

And now, pushing his knee in between the space of her thighs. Grinding her up against the wall in the barren hall of an empty school. Pushing and digging callous fingers into her thin uniform. Messaging the tender ticklish flesh of her midriff and keeping her in place. Pushing and seizing her breaths with his wicked grin. Teeth sharp and deadly and way too close to her neck.

“Let go!” She screamed. And the echo that reverberated throughout the hallway should have sent every packed classroom to flood the tight space.

But it was a field-day, which meant no classes and everyone outside enjoying the sun.

Except for her and Bakugo.

Cocking his chin in impish humour. He grinned too widely for it to be excused for mere casual bullying.

“Or what?” He coaxed. His breath fanning over cheeks. Wafting into her nose, making her entire face contort. “You’ll tell on me?”

He manipulated his voice to sound childish and whiny. Pouting at her. Yet the sheer maroon look of sadistic thrill was hard to put any mask over.

“Ha? You think this school is gonna give two shits worth a damn about some fucking nerd like you over their top student?”

He was too wrapped up in his frenzy to pay the weak fists banging on his chest any mind. Barely even registering them before they relented. Turning soft and careful, defeated upon his words, as they dragged sloppily down his stomach. Stopping where he’d hiked her skirt up around her hips.

She looked down. The realisation of her situation settling.

Not settling like an explosion, but like dust after the fact. Just like it did every time Bakugo trapped her in a corner.

She didn’t know why she even bothered fighting anymore, knowing how she always gives up.

Her breath hitched and hiccupping as she forced herself to bargain with her bully.

“What do you want, Bakugou?” It was more of a sniffle than a sentence. Meek and feeble and delicious.

But it was wrong in its essence.

“Katsuki.” He growled. His nose touching hers briefly, making her screw her eyes shut in pure crippling fear.

Another thing an alarm clock couldn’t. Come to think of it, perhaps he was rather the sound of bones breaking, or clothes tearing. His laughter like gunshots, and every move he made an explosion that left the ears bleeding and ringing.

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you for you to get it through your thick skull. It’s Katsuki.”

His grip on her waist tightened. And she was sure his claws would rip yet another one of her thin white shirts.

The disgusting instruction left her baffled each time. How he would force her to call him by his given name as though they were good friends as opposed to predator and prey.

“Say it.”

His features were blank in expectancy. Cold despite his fingertips warming.

“Come on! Fucking say it!” Spit flew as he barked his command as he pushed her just a smidge further into the wall.

Her whole body shook. Kept in place by the hold he had on her, but still trembling violently like a leaf caught in a storm.

“Katsuki...”

It was barely audible, but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he was rather overcome with satisfaction instead.

“Good.” He seemed subdued.

Calming down as his fingers relented their building fire. Cooling yet nowhere near comfortable.

“Good girl.”

It was close to a purr of some sorts and it made her stomach fold and topple in on itself, as he stroked a stray curl from out of her face. The action only resulting in even more locks of hair falling before her eyes as she shook her head as a means to swat his hand away. Where her own hands were too busy in their position on his chest, in a means to keep him at bay. But it was of little use as his face closed in on hers.

Leaning, towering, suffocating.

“Baku-”

Fear of what it looked as though he was about to do crippled the notion of it being ridiculous. But the protest was weak, even as her nails dug into the hardness of his chest.

Her voice overpowered by his, despite it being only a ragged whisper.

“Kiss me.”

Her suspicions where answered, but it only aided in her dread.

“Ba-”

She shifted her head to the side to avoid him. Panic consuming her.

But his large encompassing hand was quick in finding her cheek. Cupping it in its callous palm and forcing her to face him yet again.

“Are you deaf? I said kiss me!” He roared. The sound once again blaring like thunder from the gods in her ears.

However, despite his lips coming to attack her and the threat of his sharp fangs that could easily bruise her, she continued to push at him. Trying to pry him off her and run like the prey he had made it clear that she was.

“No.”

It surprised him to say the least.

Small, weak protests he could brush of with a shrug was nothing he wasn’t used to, but firm acts of retaliation was new.

Granted, he’d never tried kissing her. Always settling for feeling her ample supple flesh in his hands and seeing that sweet look on her face. Feeling his pants grow tight and jacking of in the school showers when no one was there to see him in the downright pathetic state.

“No?”

His brow quirked. His mouth a firm line until it once again sprung into his signature smirk.

“How about this? Kiss me and I’ll stop.”

Her eyes softened at that. Growing large. And he swore he could see her ears draw back.

There was no doubt she was surprised, intrigued, tempted.

“That’s right.” He drawled.

His thumb rubbed across her bottom lip and she was too consumed by his offer to mind.

“I’ll stop following you around, pushing you, calling you names. I’ll stop it all.”

He drew closer, to her ear. Lips ghosting her temple. Relishing the moment when he felt her shiver because of it.

“And all I ask in return is a little kiss.”

Pulling away, he looked content at first, but soon his features turned malicious once again.

“But... if you refuse... I’ll tell everyone about what a little slut you are. About how you love sucking my cock like a good little cumdumpster.”

She looked horrified at that. Her tears finally spilling over.

“But I-” She stuttered but he paid her no mind.

Already knowing whatever she was about to say.

“Who’s gonna believe you? It’s my word against yours. What are people gonna think? Huh? You think you’ll have any friends left after I run that rumour? Nah... you’ll have no one... and by that time, you’re gonna be begging me to kiss you.” His voice was frenzied.

And it must have purely because he was so lost in that craze, that he didn’t notice her leg coming to kick him in the groin.

She was thoroughly disgusted. Mostly with him, but also with herself to even having considered demeaning herself like that.

“Fuck you.”

His hold relented at the assault. And despite it being a mere temporary act, one he soon recovered from, it was enough for her to start sprinting.

“Fuck me?” He had to laugh.

And she was right. The noise really did sound like gunshots being fired at her as she ran for her life.

“That’s what the whole school’s gonna think you did come tomorrow!”

Falling onto the floor. His arms and legs spread like a starfish he couldn’t stop cackling, as though mad. Excited and thrilled, even with the stinging pain still spurring in his ball-sack. Heck, maybe even because of it.

This was fun. This was very fun.

His voice mellowed down.

“I’m gonna get you… one way or the other…”

Good thing he knows where she lives.

Good thing she didn’t live too far away.

Good thing she hadn’t kissed him.

Good thing he wasn’t forced to become a liar when continuing to force her to do as he wished.

Good thing there was plenty of broom-closets in the school.

Good thing she couldn’t do shit to stop him.

TIP-JAR

PART TWO

[a-pretty-nerd]

Tomura Shigaraki x AllMight!Daughter!Reader

Chapter 10

Premis:

When The League of Villains discovers that AllMight has a daughter, they are quick to snatch you up and hold you hostage. Shigaraki had a careful and thought out plan, but that was before you got there. Now you’re in the mood for some not-so-healthy rebellion.

A/N:

I hope you guys like this chapter! If you wanna support me further and hang out, check out my Patreon for more of my content and my discord!

Word count: 1,818

Warnings: Minor violence

Chapter 9 Chapter 11

Loud announcement after loud announcement blasted from the speakers as the police spoke. Repeating the same few sentences over and over again. His stomach turned as anxiety took hold of him. Izuku Midoriya stood nearly a block away from the scene as he watched. He and Bakugou were given orders to sit on the perimeter and wait in case they were needed. Having experienced The League before, their assistance was helpful. But everyone was hoping it wouldn't be needed. For now, everyone's top priority was you. Bakugou huffed in frustration, folding his arms across his chest as he watched.

"I don't get it. We should just round them up while we still can. If we don't act fast, they'll slip out of our hands again." He growled.

"Arrest isn't our top priority right now. The hostage's safety is. We can't risk any harm coming to her. You know that." Midoriya answered. The blonde scoffed and spoke again after a long pause.

"I still can't believe it."

"Believe what?"

"That he has a daughter. You'd think he would have mentioned something like that by now. After all these years. Especially one with such a strong quirk."

"Yeah...I don't have kids of my own so, I don't know much about that but...It's odd isn't it? That he never mentioned her. Not even to us." Bakugou thought for a moment.

"Maybe it was the mom. Maybe she kept it that way. We don't know much about her."

"No...that doesn't sit right. Her mom seems intense, sure. But that's his daughter. I don't know about you, but if I had a kid like her, I wouldn't be able to stop talking about her. So, it doesn't make sense why someone like him..."

"They were young, right? About our age?"

"That's right."

"Think about it. If you and Ururaka got pregnant right now, what do you think would happen?"

"Thats different, she's a hero too-"

"No. Really. Think about it. If she told you tomorrow you were gonna have a kid, how would you feel?" Midorya thought for a moment.

"Scared, I guess."

"Would you slow down your hero work? After everything you've done, all the work you've put into this. Would you risk it all to be a proper father? And what about her? Would Ururaka be okay putting her life on hold for that kid? I doubt it."

"I see what you're saying. But that still doesn't explain why we're just finding out about her now."

"I'm sure he was just trying to protect her from shit like this happening. It's clear he still cares for her. It was probably his was of keeping her safe. As messed up as that is."

"I studied All Might my entire life. Became his successor and student. And still...I feel like I never really knew him until now."

"Mh."

"You're still my most valuable player. You're staying right here." Shigaraki's voice purred as his grip tightened around your arm. Pulling you closer to him. You felt your blood quickly rush up to your cheeks. The hot feeling coursing through your veins. You heard the loud squeak of a chair shifting across the floor. Your quirk unwittingly being activated. He ignored the sound, his deep red eyes glaring into yours as his scarred brow bone curved over them in a tight scowl. His eyes, so brilliant and full of passion. You were lost in them. Time always seemed to stop when he did this.

"Boss! We gotta get out of here! We can't fight them all!" Spinner shouted, tearing those eyes away from you. How long had he been starring at you? Was he just as lost as you? You were doubtful. If he was lost in anything, it was probably his rage. His grip on you loosened, slowly dropping your arm almost like he was reluctant to.

"The truck. Is the truck ready?"

"Yes, but I doubt we can get out of here without being caught."

"Of course not. That's why we'll need a distraction. Until then we need time. Toga, the phone, quick." She jumped at the command. Grabbing a smartphone of hers and quickly adjusting it to film. Shigaraki's hands quickly found your body again. But they weren't nearly as harsh as last time, just firm. Man handling you to appear threatening. One hand coming around your neck from behind to display his fingers, and the other around your arm. He pressed you against his body.

"Filming!" Toga shouted.

"You heroes should know better than to just barge into such a delicate situation. The conditions are simple. Make one wrong move, and the girl is dust. I'll even leave her in a pretty little urn for you, hehehe, All Might."

"Cut! Edit and send to the heroes right?"

"And social media, anything to get it on the news. Dabi, Twice, is there a way for you to contact our friends on the outside?"

"But boss! They have us tapped! They'll be prepare for our escape!" Twice shouted.

"They've planned for it already. We've lost the element of surprise. We need results."

"Shigaraki?" You croaked.

"What!?" He shouted in your ear. You winced, holding your free had up to tap at his wrist around your neck.

"Could you, loosen up a bit?" He swiftly pulled his hands away from you. Watching you gently cough and regain your breath.

"We're not, really going to kill her, are we?" Toga pulled her attention away from her phone and shuffled closer to you. Turning to be in-between you and Shigaraki, almost to protect you from being grabbed again.

"No. Not if we plan to get out of here." He and turned sat down on the couch, his hands coming up to rub against his sore neck. Toga patted your back.

"You alright there? You're burning up. You're not sick are you?"

"No...No Im fine."

"You sure?"

"I'm fine. Thank you, Toga." It made her smile to hear you say that.

"Don't worry. Tomura's smart. He'll get us out safe, you'll see." You smiled back at her.

"I'm sure. But somehow I doubt I'll see you again. So, if this is goodbye-"

"Don't say that!" Toga shouted. "We're gonna stick together. Remember? I promised you I wouldn't let anyone hurt you!" You starred at her with wide eyes as your heart raced in your chest. A loud flutter.

"But, Toga."

"But nothing, friends stick together, right?" You nodded. "Then that settles it! We're taking her with us, aren't we guys?" Confused faces looked up at the two of you. "Well?"

"Uh- Sure." Spinner shrugged.

"Hell No - Alright!" Twice shouted.

"Heh, alright." Dabi chuckled.

"Tomura?" Toga called the absent-minded man.

"Huh?"

"We're taking her with us, right? She's one of us now!" Toga reached for your hand and curled her fingers between yours. Shigaraki looked up at her, his eyes lost in thought. "Tomura!" She scolded him like a little sister. He blinked a few times, shaking his attention to you.

"Are you, Y/L/N? Are you one of us?" You froze for a moment. No. Of course not. You're not a villain. You're not like these people! You're a heroes' kid! You're not evil! You're a good person!

You opened your mouth to speak, an overwhelming cacophony of thoughts keeping you from answering. For the first time in your entire life, you had been cared for in a way you never had before. No longer reliant on a bottle of pills to function properly. No longer forced to be productive. No pressure to be anything special. You could grow here. You could be yourself here. The room buzzed with energy at the activation of your quirk. Your emotional state boiling to a head, you opened your mouth to answer but before you could speak-

The building began to shake underneath you. You were thrown to the floor, eyes darting everywhere in search for the cause. The sound of explosions blasted above you, while what sounded like a bulldozer echoed below.

"Damn it! They're coming from both ends!" Dabi announced, gaining his balance to perform a ready stance before his blue flames emerged.

"C'mon Shigaraki! What do we do!" Twice shouted as he clung onto the man's forearm. The rest of you inching closer and closer to each other.

The blasts above became louder and louder until it became evident it was right above. Your stomach turned as you came to the realization. Before the order left his lips you had reached for a table across the room and brought it up above your small group for protection.

"Y/L/N!" Just in time for it to deflect the shrapnel of drywall that burst from the explosion above. Suddenly the floor below gave way, sending the six of you falling through the open air. There were supposed to be several floor to the building, but thanks to the hero, Deku, flimsy walls of the already rotting building had been quickly demolished within seconds.

You watched yourself fall, your hand desperately reaching for anything to hold on to. Failing and plummeting down with the rest of them. You watched as the DynaMight emerged from the smoke above to watch you with a satisfied grin plastered over his face.

The cries of the others behind you filled your ears. Why wasn't this hero doing something? Why wasn't he jumping to catch you? To catch the others? Is going to let you fall to your deaths? You can't let him do that! Quick- Quick- your quirk- catch them!

After a few attempts at activation in your panic, you were able to catch the others in the air. Just before their bodies hit the concrete of the building basement. Dropping them down from a safe few feet. The fall was uncomfortable, but a relief to you and the others that you could work so quickly.

But your success was short-lived as the building trembled and quaked with another explosion. You looked up just in time to watch what was left of the old hide out to come crashing down around you. Leaving you trapped in the basement, in complete darkness.

"THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" A familiar shriek echoed in Bakugou and Midoriya's ear pieces. They both jolted at the painful intrusion. Your mother, having just stolen a police walky talky huffed on the other end.

"Our apologies ma'am but they're fine. I saw it with my own eyes. They're just trapped under debris. Everything is going according to plan." Midoriya reassured.

"Ac- ACCORDING TO PLAN!? You mean to tell me, young man, that you intended to trap my daughter in with her KIDNAPPERS, WHO THREATENED TO KILL HER!?" She spat, understandably.

"If they wanted her dead by now, she would be. Shigaraki doesn't play games unless it's necessary. Trust me." Bakugou barked.

"So now what? We just wait until this psychopath decays his way loose?"

Taglist:

@craftybean13 @babayaga67 @imjustverable

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love

@kamenoyaki @hentaiqween101 @skzero-99 @justanotherlifeff

@witch-o-memes @lolilith

[mm2305]

All That Matters

Characters/pairings :  Ethan Ramsey & Olivia Valentine

Words/Genre :   2.8 K / Angst , Romance

Warnings : mentions of death,injuries

Summary : Olivia gets seriously injured. How does Ethan react?

A/N : Hello again! This fic was written per @groovypalacehorselover​ ‘s request. This is the first time I’m attempting to write angst , so I hope this comes out good enough. A big THANK YOU to @romewritingshop​ for her help in editing this. Moodboard inspired by @potionsprefect 's ones.

Disclaimer : all characters and pictures belong to the rightful owners

My Masterlist

Enjoy!

------------------------------

Ethan was frantically rushing through the hospital corridors. Dread and anxiety flooded his mind that he could barely breathe. There was no way he would allow it to stall him. Pushing himself to go as fast as he could to get to the farthest wing of the hospital, he slammed the double doors ahead open.A group of interns were nattering amongst themselves,oblivious to the frantic attending approaching them. A thundering voice broke them out of their trance. 

"OUT OF MY WAY!", he boomed at them, as he was approaching closer. 

The interns, startled by him, broke apart allowing him to pass through them. What made them wonder though, was the clear, unadulterated emotion in his eyes. He looked as though his world was slowly crumbling around him. And they weren't wrong. 

2 Hours Earlier

Olivia was finishing up her rounds for the day. In a few hours she’d be home, snuggled with her favorite throw blanket, watching a movie on Netflix while Ethan would complain incessantly  about her taste in movies. She had to visit her last patient, a sweet seven year old boy named Nathan. 

His diagnosis was a difficult case to solve and this made young Nathan restless. His mom came to stay with him in the evening  but she had to go to work early in the morning. The poor boy was often bored out of his mind, taking adventurous strolls through the hospital, without telling anyone. There were several instances  that she and a few nurses had to track him down, but still Nathan continued doing that. She couldn’t really blame the poor kid. Today was just one of those days. 

Olivia walked to the nurses' desk, to ask about Nathan. 

"Hello Sarah, did you happen to see Nathan? I think he snuck  out of his room again." 

"Dr Valentine! No, I haven't. Maybe you should ask Mary. She might have an idea where Nathan is.", The nurse replied with a soft smile. 

"Okay, thank you!"

She left the reception in search of Mary. Before long, she found her in one of the halls. 

"Hi Mary, I was wondering if you've seen Nathan?", She inquired politely. 

"Dr Valentine! I was just looking for you. I think I saw the kid heading towards the halls leading to the new wing." 

"The new wing? Isn't that under construction?", Olivia asked, an audible tremor in her voice. 

"Yes?" 

"Oh God! Come on! We need to find him now!", she said, a feeling of worry and dread filling her. The new wing Bloom designed was essentially a plan to enlarge the facilities available for research. From what she heard, it wasn't safe to roam around the place without any safety gear. It was too dangerous to go there, especially for a young boy like Nathan, but she won’t let him fall to harm. 

After a few minutes of darting around and asking everyone they encountered, Mary and Olivia got the same response. They saw a kid among these halls at some point. By the time they reached the site, Olivia and Mary began calling for him. 

"Nathan? Are you here?" 

"Nathan? Nathan come here, it's me, Dr Olivia" 

No answer. Either he wasn't here or he just couldn't hear them clearly. The two women began to slow down their pacing steps as they carefully tread through the congested building site, all while calling for the young boy. 

"Dr Oliv?", They heard a small shaky voice calling. 

Olivia knew it was him and rushed towards the direction of the voice. Mary, hot on her heels, noticed him first. 

"He's there!", She exclaimed, running to his side and checking over him for any injuries. 

Olivia began walking towards them, relieved that Nathan was okay,when she heard a cracking noise. She quickly realized that the wall, they were close to, was about to collapse! With a sudden burst of adrenaline, she rushed towards them and pushed them away from the wall. She smiled softly at them before she heard a bigger *crack* and everything went black. 

-----------------------------------

MEANWHILE

Ethan was sitting at his computer, in his office, looking through files and updating the information onto his computer. Truth be told though, he was too distracted by a certain resident to concentrate on his current task. 

Him and Olivia have been together for a little more than three months and he was happier than he had been in a long time. She really had the power to turn the worst of days better with just a smile. 

She started coming to his house after work, in fact it’s almost like she had permanent residence in his heart and place. She spent most of the time there with him, just being together. Cooking, watching tv, playing ridiculous board games she always won. It was all very domestic and Ethan always felt his heart swell with love for her, at how at ease she felt being with him, in the place he now considered a home. 

Glancing at the clock, he realised their shifts would end soon but he was too impatient. With a soft sigh, he turned off his computer and walked out of his office ,towards the front desk. 

"Good afternoon, have you seen Dr. Valentine?", he asked a nurse he knew she frequently talked to. 

"Dr. Ramsey! Yes, she was here a little while ago, she was looking for her young patient, Nathan. He has a habit of sneaking out of his room, you see - Wait a minute please!", she paused to answer the phone. 

"Bloom Edenbrook Hospital how can I help you? Mary? What?! I’m sending the team right away!" 

The woman, Sarah, turned to Ethan with a flurry of panic coursing in her eyes. 

"Dr Ramsey, it was the nurse who was with Dr Valentine. They found the boy at the construction site! When they reached for him… a nearby wall collapsed on them!" 

"What!? Oh my… No no no… Wh-What else did she tell you? Tell me!", he demanded, his eyes glossed with panic, the usual pink hue of his face drained as he turned as white as a sheet, his breathing in short stuttered gasps. 

"Olivia ... was hit worst." Sarah whispered on the verge of tears. 

"Page Mirani, Delarosa and the best nurses this damn hospital has! Understood! I'm going there now!"

Before she had a chance to reply, he was already off in search of his Olivia. 

-----------------------

PRESENT TIME

Ethan continued running through the maze of corridors, his eyes full of unshed tears. 

"Not her, please not her! Don't take her from me! Please!", Ethan wasn't by any means a religious man, but the fear of losing the woman he loved made him pray to whoever could hear his agonized thoughts. The one person on this earth for whom he would give anything for, was again in grave danger. Memories from the last time she was at the brink of death flooded his mind, knocking the breath out of his lungs. How fragile she looked and to know he couldn't do anything to save her, other than watch her become progressively weaker and her radiant smile, the one that could lighten up a whole room, fade away. "No, don't do this right now Ethan. Focus on her. Only her.", he thought, nodding to himself while pushing the last hurdle of doors open. His eyes quickly scanned the room, trying to locate her. 

He finally saw her. 

She was lying on the floor pieces of rubble around her. She was unconscious, her eyes closed, her golden hair around her face.  As he rushed to her side, whilst avoiding the scattered materials, he saw a small patch of blood on the side of her head. 

He knelt beside her, being careful not to move her, in fear of causing more damage to her body. He took her small, still warm, hand in his and softly began to stroke her cheek and hair. 

"Darling? Olivia? It's me, Ethan. Please Olivia, can you hear me?", his voice wavered at the sight of her blood on his fingers from stroking her hair and a few tears were finally breaking through. 

Her eyes fluttered as a soft little gasp left her lips. 

"E-Ethan?", she whispered, her voice hoarse and barely audible. 

"Yes, Love it's me."

"I… it hurts.. I can't…", she croaked but it was too difficult for her to breathe properly, the dust hovering in the air wasn'tmaking this any easier. Ethan noticed this and pushed her head slightly back, to allow her to breathe better. 

"Shh darling I know… I'm here love, I'm not going anywhere...Please sweetheart don't give up on me… please…I can't lose you", Ethan whispered, stroking her cheek softly, trying to be strong for her. 

Olivia fell unconscious once again, her chest taking short ragged breaths. He pried his eyes away from her to look around the room. A woman was in the corner with a crying child in her arms, trying to comfort him. 

" Hi… Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" he asked them as he approached them. 

"Nothing too bad. Might just be a sprained wrist and a couple of scratches. Nathan’s fine too, just shocked. Dr. Valentine…. she … she got the worst of it.", she replied with tears in her eyes. 

Ethan didn't have a chance to reply as the team arrived. They immediately got down to work, not even hesitating to lose a minute, paying Ethan no attention. 

"Get her on the gurney carefully! One mistake and you're fired!" Zaid commanded, with a fiery stern voice at the team of nurses. 

"Zaid, she's got a cut on the side of her head and she's bleeding. I don't see anything too serious but we should order a scan. Shortness of breath indicates one or two fractured ribs and her left ulna and radius might be broken, given the swelling.", Ines said with evident concern and fear thick in her voice. 

"Let's get some scans and see exactly what's going on", Zaid replied, trying to be as calm as possible, in this case. Olivia was his colleague,but more importantly she was his friend and he wouldn't allow anything to happen to her. Not on his watch. 

"I'm coming with you!", Ethan interrupted their conversation. 

"You're not in the right state of mind to help her now!" 

"Zaid’s right about this. She needs you to be calm and focused when she wakes up.", Ines told him resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

Ethan had no choice but to reluctantly agree. 

--------------------------------------

Several hours later, Ethan was pacing anxiously in front of the room Olivia was checked into. The night doctors were there checking on her. As soon as they heard what happened, her friends joined Ethan in the waiting room, to hear news about her condition. Sienna when she saw her best friend in that state, immediately broke down, Aurora and Elijah trying to comfort her. Bryce, Rafael and Jackie, were mostly silent, their minds running through endless scenarios of what could happen to the most courageous woman they knew. 

She had a broken hand, three broken ribs; one of which was pressing too close to her lung; causing her difficulty in breathing smoothly. This required a minor surgery, which was conducted by Harper herself. She wouldn't let anyone else touch the woman she had come to consider a friend. Her head injury, thankfully, wasn't too bad, but there was a possibility of a mild concussion. The whole hospital was there to help Olivia in whatever way she needed. From nurses to interns to anyone she had always been kind to. 

Now, Ethan was waiting outside of her room alone, because her friends left a few minutes ago. She wouldn't wake up for a few hours and they made sure she would be completely okay before they left. Besides, they knew that Ethan wouldn't leave her side. That is, once he got to finally see her. 

Thirty agonizing minutes later, he was finally allowed to go into her room. His eyes glided across  her small form on the hospital bed. The side of her head was wrapped in white gauze, because of the injury there. Her left arm was in a cast and placed on a pillow to make her more comfortable. She was hooked to an IV, her body seeming too delicate on the hospital bed. Her face was in a serene slumber, her body was still under the influence of the drugs she was given during and after her surgery. 

Ethan took her soft hand in his, kissing her knuckles and looking tearfully at her. 

"My love… You scared me so so much… When that nurse told me you were hurt… I thought I was going to lose you. Again.", He started talking to her, even though she couldn't hear him, he was baring his heart to her. Letting the tears he was holding on to fall. 

"Finding you there, lying unconscious… was unbearable. Knowing that you may be gone forever, never being able to touch you, or see your beautiful smile, hear your awful jokes again… I’ve never believed in a higher power, but if there is a being that saved you, then I am grateful. Because, without you, none of this matters. You're my whole world Oliv. And this world means nothing to me if you’re not here darling", he finished , laying a soft kiss on her lips. 

He stayed with her for a few hours, having no intention of leaving her, but Naveen forced him to go get a coffee and something to eat. Of course, Naveen promised he would stay there with her while Ethan was away. 

On his way back to her room, he encountered Leland Bloom. "Great, just who I wanted to see", Ethan thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Ah Dr. Ramsey. I was just coming to find you. How is Dr. Valentine?", he asked with a facade of interest. 

"She’s in her room resting. Still unconscious though, because of the anesthesia from her surgery. Now if you'll excuse me", Ethan curtly replied, walking past Leland, anxious to return to her room. 

"I was hoping to come with you, actually. I wanted to ask you, will she make a full recovery?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes, in a couple months she will probably be alright.", Ethan gritted his teeth, retraining his seething anger at how intrusive this man could be. 

"Probably? You're not certain? If her recovery takes so long, then she will be left behind in the hospital's advances. Pity… she was actually going to be one of the key assets to the progression of the hospital's success.", Leland said, not having noticed or probably caring about Ethan's expression. 

Ethan couldn't believe what he was hearing. The way he spoke of Olivia. His Olivia. A human being, as though she was nothing but a tool to be used. He clenched his fists, blood coursing through his veins, ears ringing, face and neck flushed red with anger, trying to resist the immense urge to punch him square in his arrogant face. 

"How DARE you talk that way about a human being who was seriously hurt? She could have been fucking killed and all you have to say is that she would be an asset to the success of the hospital? What kind of person are you, really? Do you see anything beyond your own selfish, moronic advancements?", Ethan turned to him abruptly, almost roaring, all the pent up emotions escaping him in this outburst towards this man. 

Leland was stunned at his outburst, mouth gaping open for a second before he recollected himself. The two of them had become the center of attention as the nurses and doctors were forming a small circle, staring at the two men. 

"I would best advise you against speaking to me like that Dr. Ramsey. I'm the one who is in charge here and I expect you to treat me with respect. Now, I understand you are under pressure right now since your partner was hurt, so I'm willing to look past this little tantrum. See you soon, Dr Ramsey." he replied, walking away from Ethan, who was stalking his way down the corridor to Olivia’s room, unbothered by Bloom’s words. 

The only person in this world whose words mattered, laid in a hospital bed right now, and he vowed he would not spend any more precious time away from her. Because despite what life throws at them, all that matters is that his Rookie ... his Olivia ... his true love will be alright. They will be alright. Together.

-----------------------------

Thank you for reading !!!

[ikassienatics]

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐥 ↬ 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩.

summary: half the population survived the blip and that includes peter your boyfriend, while the other half was erased from existence just like you. five years later, the snap was reversed but the world you once lived in changes

warnings: angst but not really, mj being a really cool bad bitch, life lessons from michelle jones, peter moving on, endgame spoilers? but i know you've seen the masterpiece already, mj cursing a lot like a lot.

author’s note: y’all it’s been soo long since i wrote something and this idea popped inside my mind while watching infinity war for the hundredth time, and i just can’t help myself!!!! though to warn y’all, i’m actually not that proud with the outcome of this one, it felt like something is not right, like something is missing or whatnot. and if there’s probably a fic i wrote in which i disliked, this will be it.

a handsome god trying to invade new york is bullshit, a malfunctioned artifical intelligence trying to take over the world is too much. but a purple alien named thanos erasing half the population in your planet is full of shit. the world is a crazy place indeed, you thought you guys have enough, that everything is being handled with care, for fuck’s sake earth has avengers. but turns out, even the earth’s mightiest heroes can’t stop nor survive the snap.

everything happened so fast, one second every student in your university is standing happily inside the gymnasium as they awaited the announcement about the upcoming ball, then the speaker suddenly turned into dust, she fades away like she was nothing, like a bubble, turned into ash. then everyone panicked including you, you just saw a person turned into dust before your eyes, of course you will panic

then you stood up from your seat, taking your boyfriend peter with you as you both decided to run for the exit, then it happened to everyone too. they also started turning dust

then it was your turn.

you didn't really know how it was your turn, you just sensed it that you will fade away just like them, so you did what common teenagers would do. you clung in your boyfriend once you felt the tingling sensation inside your body. it was a scary feeling, and for some reasons the numb pain started fading away, like it find some way to connect with your brain to tell it that there's nothing wrong when technically, everything is wrong. like it was convincing your mind that you don't feel anything. you have never been scared like that before

peter was by your side when that happened, holding you tightly on his arms as if he's trying to stop you from leaving. but nothing stopped the snap, no one manage to stop the blip. not even the earth's mightiest heroes.

and now you're back, sitting alone on the bench with no peter by your side, you stood up from the bench seeing mj looking at her hands weirdly, only half the students inside the gym remains and the speaker on the front, the other half? your peter? they're not here.

rushing towards the tan lady, you approach her with your hear beating faster "mj!" she look up from her hands, eyebrows furrowed and seemingly as confuse as you are

"y/n?" she stood up before you can even reach her sit "what the fuck just happened?" she look around as well, everyone started reaching for their devices, calling their family to make sure they're safe and okay, some even rush towards the exit while some started crying

"i have no idea." you pursed your lips, you and mj are never close. you always get insecure because of the tall girl, thinking that she may have a thing for peter but she always assure you that she don't date boys, she prefer girls. so standing in front of her, let alone talking to her is still awkward for you, but there's no time for that

"did you just came back as well?" she asked you, reaching for her bag and hanging it around her shoulder, you nodded your head "i was actually wondering where peter was. . ." your eyes widen, she might think you don't care about anything but peter, or maybe she will think your ignorant because even after what happened, even if there's a lot to be concern about, you still ask for your boyfriend first "i mean, everyone, i was wondering where half of the students are."

"yeah, me neither." she grabbed her phone from inside her bag, planning to text her parents just like everybody else when she suddenly caught a glimpse of the date on her lockscreen "oh shit!"

your eyes widen "what? what is it?" even though you two were never close and you felt like overstepping a line, putting your nose in her business. you can't help but get curioused because of the expression written all over her face

"what the fuck is this." she showed you her phone and there you saw a 2023 instead of 2019, your eyes also widen in realization reaching for your phone as well and seeing the same thing in your lock screen, you even saw a couple of text and calls from your parents and friends five years ago

five years ago

what the fuck

you licked your lips, about to call your mom when you heard someone speak from behind you and mj "y/n?" the voice is familiar, turning on your heels, you came in contact with a person no other than ned leeds, one of peter's friends.

mj also turn her head making ned switch his eyes from you to her "mj?" he asks, still can't believe what he's seeing. ned changes a lot even after just five minutes, he grew a beard, his hair looks so fresh from hair cut and his body is more lean than before, he looks older. weird

"ned! oh my god." you run towards him, jumping in his arms and hugging him tightly, he did the same closing his eyes in the process and praying that this is not a dream, not anymore, no. this has to be real, everyone has to come back, this has to be the reality.

"hey, man!" mj nodded her head at the man in front fo you, he still looks confuse but not as confuse as the pair "what happened here?"

his eyebrows furrowed "you don't know?" the way he said those words made your heart clench, what really is happening? and where's peter? if ned is here, then peter must be somewhere near, knowing that guy. him and ned are usually always together, even in your dates ned has to tag along, not that you mind. you enjoyed it most of the time

"what? what do you mean?" you look back at mj "we just came back, what happened? why do you look older? did you just came back as well?" you bombared him with question

he shakes his head "no, half of the population survived." your eyes widen, then if half the population survived, does that mean peter survive as well? or maye he's also part of the snap? but where is he. you look back at your seat not long ago, expecting your partner to pop our of nowhere. but there's none, no peter.

"while the other half fade away?" mj continued or more like, asked.

"y-yeah." he nodded "it's been five years." so that's why it's year 2023 and not 2019? but how, how could it happened? why? who did this? you can't help bur ask yourself

"yeah, that answers our question." the curly brunette beside you spoke, referring to what you both just witness a while ago. biting your lip, you fidget with your fingers as you find the right time to ask him a question

"what are you doing here if it's been five years?" you questioned

"i helped my cousin get enrolled, then everyone just. . . just started to come back and i think of going here to see if both of you came back as well." he answers softly

you slightly smiled at him "w-where's. . . where's peter?" you saw how ned's body froze, how almost all the blood in his face dissapeared by your question, like he's suddenly afraid of something. his happy and chill personality faded just like the snap

"p-peter? y-yeah uhm." he clears his throat, you look down on his fingers and unexpectedly saw a ring in one of them

"you're married?" both you and mj said in unison, he look down on his hands as well before nodding

"yeah, betty and i you know. we made it work, aftee graduating i decided to take our relationship in another level." his eyes sparkles with joy as he tells you the news "she's. she's actually pregnant, two months."

"congratulations." you and mj both said

"and peter, uhm. he now lives in, he no longer lives with aunt may and he also. . . he's not an avenger anymore." you saw how ned had a hard time on telling you what he knows, the ned you knew not long ago is gone, ned usually knows how to compose himself immideately and maybe that's one of the reasons why him and peter fits each other perfectly, your boyfriend is an akward person, a weird one and he always stumble upon his words, while ned is more composed and often helped him.

"wait, what?" michelle gasp

while you stayed still, confusion erupts in your mind. how did it happened? why did peter left the avengers? he always love helping people, finding comfort in swinging around queens and fighting for those who cannot fight, and being an avenger? it's his dream, so why would he turn his back on a life he always wanted to have?

at this moment, you felt like you never knew peter anymore, or ned, he changes so much and you wish peter is still the same after five years even though you know it's impossible, many things can happen in those years, many things can change.

"yeah, after. you know, he got anxiety after the blip, he really had a hard time with keeping up so, uhm. yeah."

"wait, i don't understand a single thing." mj speak once again, trying to make the situation clear

you saw how ned gulped, as if he's about to spill the biggest tea there is "he just, shit happens. you know? and people change, how they see life, their perspective and peter. well, peter. he, he change. he's grown up now."

"like, how grown up?" did he move on?

"i can't tell you that, i'm sorry but he lives in." then he started tellng you the adress which you gladly wrote down on your phone with shaking fingers, imagining how peter would seeing you after five years, would he be happy, sad? or maybe he moved on?

god you don't want to think about it, peter moving on from his relationship with you? can that really happen? can peter really do that to you? no, no. peter won't do that, maybe ned is right. he changed but he's still peter, you refuse to believe that peter forgot about you, that he replaced you after being a part of the blip, because if tables have turned? if peter is the one who has been snapped and you're the one who survived? you don't think you can forget him or move on.

the trio was about to continue keeping up, but ned's phone started to ring and you saw a picture of a woman on the screen "sorry, wife calling." he turn his back on you quickly answering the phone while you and mj just nodded your head, giving him a chance to answer the line

"i always knew peter is a freak." she whispered beside you, trying to make the mood better as she started to see the doubt in your eyes "but a grown man? come on, just because he grow up and finally became a man doesn't mean he has to forget stuffs, you know?"

you slightly smile at her, nodding your head in agreement "you're right."

"anyways, i got to call my dad. you call your family too, they must be worried and confused. all this shit is probably all overt the news by now."

***

two days passed after you came back from the blip, everything you thought you knew? gone. it's like you never existed in the first place and you had a hard time keeping up, keeping up with the world you once knew. your parents on the other hand, they are more understanding than ever, letting you stay lock up in your room so you can think but occasionally asking you if you want to go on a family vacation but you told them you have to fix yourself first. your parents reaction when you came back is priceless especially your mom, she almost didn't want to let you go after embracing you if it weren't for your dad and you saw the longing in their eyes.

of course, their only daughter went missing five years ago then came back as if nothing happened.

you tried to read as many newspaper as you could, news from the last five years, trying to blend in once again. you felt sick thinking about the new society you are now stepping on. but even after those things, you have mj with you and you two became close, facetime here, facetime there. helping each other stood back up from their feet.

two days later, that's when you decided to visit peter, two days of dreaming about the guy, imagining what his reaction would be if you showed up in his door step, and a part of you wished you didn't came back after what you saw, after what you learned.

the house that ned told you was huge, it's white and there's a mailbox standing outside with a name 'parker' in it, it's more like a family house, a car on the garage and a small bike right beside it, a small bike? why does peter have a small bike on his house?

and if you weren't that stupid, you're going to be able to put the pieces together, the bike, the house, the mailbox, ned seeming like he's nervous about something. it all made sense especially when you knock on the door and it was opened by the one and only liz allen. the small bump on her stomach also didn't go unnoticable by you, and the small boy running around from the inside looking like you're boyfriend? yeah, fuck. you get it. he moved on, what else can you do?

nonetheless, she invited you in and you could have said no, but you didn't. there's a lot of question you want to ask peter, why? and how? but you're not going to blame him because of the decision he made. you fully understand it, that maybe his feelings for liz didn't really fade away just like he told you when you two started dating, or maybe he forgot about you. five years is a long road

and that's how you saw yourself inside the kitchen with peter sitting in front of you, the house smelled like home, like love, like family. his family, her family. liz was upstairs trying to give the both of you a time to talk while their son went out to play with some kids outside.

"you're married?" you asked, although it's obvious. you still want it to come out from his mouth. your voice came out like a whisper but you know he heard it, he only nodded his head in response, not knowing what else to say.

"you left me for her." you said once again

and that's when he spoke back "i didn't left you, you left me." his voice is deeper than before, more manly and he didn't stumble upon his words just like before, he looks like be know exactly what he's doing, what he's saying.

he's not the peter you once knew anymore, just like everybody else.

"are you blaming me for what happened?" you whispered shouted, not wanting liz to hear your conversation even though you know that peter will tell her later once you got out

"i'm not blaming anything on you, i'm just trying to explain that i'm not the one who fades away to dust, who left me with nothing for five years. what do you expect me to do?"

"i expect you to wait for me, i came back didn't i?" you saw how your vision started to get blurry, telling you that any time soon a tears will fell from your eyes.

"i waited for you but i lose hope."

"how could you do this to me?" and that's when a single tear drop from your eyes, then another. but you didn't do anything to stop it

"how could i? can you put yourself in my position for once? i was left with nothing for the past five years! i have nothing, tony was a part of the snap, may and i fell apart because all this shit! and liz? she's just, she's there with me. she stood by my side during those times and neither of us can't help it." and if your heart broke after finding out that peter moved on, now it's being shredded to pieces especially after what he just told you

"you find comfort in another woman."

"don't pretend like you will do this differently if i were the one who got snapped." you drop your palms on the table causing it to make a loud thump

"don't you there turn the tables, because if i were the one who survived and you're the one who does not. i will still wait for you no matter how fucked up everything is." you said angrily "did you ever loved me? or did you just used me to get over her? to make her jealous?"

"don't fucking change the subject." that's the first time he ever cursed in front of you, in those eight months of you two dating, no matter the situation, he never cursed or yell at you. yeah you fight often times but it didn't come this far, no yelling, no cursing, just a calm fight.

you wanted to be selfish, to steal peter away from liz just like how she teal him away from you. but you couldn't, you can't even think about it. you don't want to be the person, the woman who stole their dad away from them, you don't want their child to grew up without a dad, to grew up longing for a father.

"look, i know it's hard but believe me or not. i loved you." he said softly this time "but i have a family now, a family to take care of, a children to look after and none of this can bring back the past, none of this can bring both of us together just like before. you have to understand the situation that none of this is inevitable, maybe we're not meant for each other, maybe this is meant to happened, what matters right now is you're back and i have the family i always wanted, maybe not with you. but i'm happy now."

he held your hands from the table, soothing it gently to calm you down "i loved you, and i still do until now but not as much as i love her."

"you don't know how many men will kill just to be with you, you deserve beter and i wish you all the happiness in this world." he added, you look down on his hands, biting your shaking lips as you refuse to believe everything he told you

everything is just too much, it happened so fast. that your brain could not even keep up, but you have to accept the truth, the truth that the both of you are no longer the couple you were used to be. that he moved on and you must do the same

***

you lay down, facing the ceiling before sighing. even after two weeks, fourteen days, even after all those minutes passed you can't seem to get used to the world you were in right now. you're starting to drift away from your parents, not liking to go out and instead you prefer to self isolate yourself inside your room. but no one can blame you for your actions, it's hard. keeping up with everything, it's hard facing complicated things like this especially because peter is not by your side unlike before.

and for once, you just wanted to. . . you just want everything to stop for a while. everything, just. just to give you time to understand

if only it weren't for the snap, or what everyone prefer to call that 'thing'. if it weren't for that, then maybe you already graduated by now, maybe you're the one who's married with peter instead of liz. maybe

"i thought that if i acted like it didn't matter. it wouldn't." you said, eyes still focused on the ceiling as you tried to think about everything that had happened in the past ever since you came back from the ash

mj, who's quietly reading a book on the sofa inside your room decided to join you in your comfy bed, laying beside you and facing the white and boring ceiling as well. unlike you, mj asked for help. she started seeing a therapist to help her get better and to guide her in this journey where she's trying to fit in once again.

but you? you prefer to be alone no matter how many times your parents tried to talk to you or asked you if you need help, even if they kept their arms open for you, even if every person who survived the snap kept their arms wide open for those who didn't. you can't bring yourself to do it, to ask for help like mj. unlike you, mj handled all the problems like a champion, you never see any discomfort in her eyes ever since you came back. yeah maybe the first day, you saw how scared she was but now? she's getting better while you felt like you're getting worse.

you drift away from your parents, never answered or check your phone, you completely shut down peter and liz no matter how many times they tried to invite you like when their son celebrated his birth day. but you see yourself getting closer to mj

which is. weird

you never see it coming,

you never see any of this coming.

"it's okay not to be okay, you know?" she mumbled from beside you. closing her book and fixing her eyeglasses

"shit happens, we get sad, stress, depress, you name it. and that's okay, that's normal. everybody felt that too." she added

from the ceiling, you turn your body to face her before asking her a question "how did you do it?" she seemed taken a back but manages to compose herself right away

putting her other hands behind her head, she licked her lips before answering your question "how did i do it? i didn't do no such thing." it was a whisper, but because of the silence evaporating inside your room you manage to hear every letter that came out of her mouth

"i was scared, afraid after all this shit you know? and it made me think that feeling those things, that self isolating myself or being sad or what the fuck will not make anything better." she told you "like, if i cry in my room because i felt left out, will that make anything better? no right? if i stay in my room and get so emotional, will that bring back the past? will the pain bring back everything? no, that's why instead of being like the others, instead of following what i feel, instead of letting my fear take over. i just told them to fuck off, i go out, tried understanding the world more, have fun, be with my loved ones, forget the fact that i became an ash. because no matter how sad you feel, or how depress you've become. the world will not stop spinning for you, and because of that. might as well as spin with the world, you know what i'm saying?"

from her laying position, mj sat up completely facing you and holding your hand in hers "i know you're having a hard time, we all are. but don't forget that you're not alone in this. you don't have to be, you don't have to face all this shit alone because i'm here for you, your parents, your friends, peter. maybe not in the way you want him to be, but all of us will be here for you." she said sincerely

"i know it's tough, and it's probably much more harder in your case because of peter. but things aren't always going to be there, you know? nothing is permanent. i can't be sitting here with you forever because i have to go home or else my dad will probably burst out." you laughed at her humor "but i'm serious, sometimes everything is not meant to be that way. and i think that's what makes life special, nothing is permanent, because of that life teaches us how to cherish every moment."

"avengers fought with their dying breath just to give us a second chance, and i'm glad they did. we were all given a second chance to live in this world and i don't want to waste that."

that's when you realized how lucky you are, she's right. you were given a second chance, a second chance to live, to be happy. avengers bled for this, for all of you to return. you should live your life to the fullest, and that's what you're about to do

peter is one of the best things that ever happened to you, maybe he's not with you until the end but at least you manage to be with him and to feel the love from spiderman in the past.

maybe in some other life, in a distant universe, in an unknown world, in a small city, you and peter have your little love story going on, and you both are living there your happily ever after.

disclaimer: all publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. the original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. the author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

[katnissmellarkkk]

Gravity

Hi! Okay, so here’s chapter two of my growing back together story, inspired by the prompt “I won’t hurt you” @rosegardeninwinter sent me. I also posted this fic on AO3 under the title Gravity (like the Sara Bareilles song), if that’s where you prefer to read. And here’s a link to chapter one of this fic if you wanna read and haven’t yet.

Also I know I said in my first author’s note that there will be three chapters, but there might be a bit more.... we love an over-writer, right? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I don’t know if you’re “supposed” to post every part of a multi chapter fic on here? Or just post the link to it on AO3? But for now I posted it in its entirety on here 😊.

Anyways, hope you like it! And thanks to anyone who reads! 💖💖💖

/

A couple months later.

We slide back after that. I don't know if that night-the night he had a nightmare that I died and we slept locked in each other's embrace-moved too quickly for Peeta or if he thought he was protecting me from him, but when morning light came, he was gone from the bed.

I didn't see him again until the following evening, helping Haymitch feed his rambunctious geese in the yard. He didn't speak to me for four more days after that, and when he did, it was to ask what kind of bread I wanted him to bring for lunch the next day.

I pretended to his face that it didn't hurt. That waking up in a cold, empty bed, in a house he all but abandoned until I had evacuated, that sleeping in his arms and awaking so abruptly alone, didn't hurt. I did what I had taught myself to do as a child and I turned my features into an indifferent mask, shutting off all access to my emotions. Destroying any possibility of anyone witnessing my vulnerabilities.

But I knew deep down, it did hurt. It hurt badly.

I didn't speak to him directly the first week he showed up for lunch and to work on the memory book again. I got by fine without addressing him directly, as Haymitch somehow sensed the bubbling tension between us and stayed sober just enough to remain alert for all our shared meals. He helped with the memory book, helped by adding in a snarky comment here or there to reel our focuses onto him instead of each other.

I wanted to say thank you but I never knew how. I doubt Haymitch needs me to verbalize it anyway. One night, as he follows behind Peeta to leave, his hand grazes my shoulder and gives it a squeeze and I know he's much more aware of the dynamic between his old tributes than he leads on.

But weeks after the night in question, the night that set Peeta and my friendship back months, we receive a telegraph from Effie. A telegraph that shakes the small amount of stability we've managed to build in the time since the war.

Apparently President Paylor has decided to move forward with arena destruction, an idea mentioned a few times by Plutarch on Caesar's talk show. An idea I didn't take seriously until now.

Paylor has decided to build a memorial for each of the arenas, for each year the games ever took place, to immortalize our history, so Panem can never forget how cruel and inhumane things once were. But first, she wants to eliminate the actual Hunger Games arenas, once and for all, before putting the memorials in their place.

My initial thought, months ago when Delly showed me Plutarch and Caesar discussing the idea, was that this would takes years to happen.

I was, once again, so clearly wrong. The plans have been expedited and the order in which each arena will be decimated has been swiftly decided.

All that alone doesn't sound terrible. I'd like to see those death pits crushed, burned, torn down, eradicated, or all of the above, by any means necessary. Only downside, initially, is that this will extend me—and Peeta and potentially all the other victors—remaining in the forefront of the public's mind.

Since the war, all I've ever wanted was for everyone in the country to forget who I am. I don't want to be known anymore. I just want to be left alone, to a quiet and peaceful and relatively simple life, without anyone ever recognizing me again. Without anyone thinking of me as the girl on fire, as the Mockingjay, as the sixteen-year-old who volunteered for a sister who was doomed to death anyway.

But, of course, there's a catch. There's always a catch.

Plutarch thinks it would be great to have the living victors be there—televised—in the Capitol and see the arenas before they're bulldozed.

Even with this dreadful proposition, I thought I had time to think of a way out of it. When Effie first sent the telegraph, I thought that I would have years before having to worry about going back to the places where my nightmares started.

Well, some of my nightmares, that is.

After all, it takes time to destroy something as large and as vast as an arena-excluding the way I destroyed the one in the Quell, that is. I figured-I rationalized, really-that by the time they got to number Seventy-Four, I would have a solid excuse to get out of attending.

I guess though they wished to start with the big years and the first decade of the Hunger Games wasn't very eventful, apparently—lucky them—so the first arena they wish to bid farewell to is the one from the second Quarter Quell. The Fiftieth Hunger Games. The one that was so strikingly beautiful and almost entirely poisonous.

The year Haymitch Abernathy, from the lowly District Twelve, won.

And being also from Twelve, my presence, along with Peeta's, suddenly became of the utmost importance as well.

At first, I still try to opt out of the event. Even after Effie chastises me over the phone, like not a day has passed since she was my escort, and even after my mother claims in her letter that it could be cathartic for me, I do not relent.

Delly and Thom and a few of the others in the community, like Kanon who runs the candy shop two stores away from the bakery, and Greta, who helps with the dusting and mopping all over town, try to say that it could be good for me. Greasy Sae claims it can't be worse than actually living through the games, and I silently appreciate her much more blatant statement than the comforting platitudes others try to provide me.

But it all falls on deaf ears in the end.

Because the only person I truly listen to is Peeta. Even bitter and wounded, the only person I really hear is him.

Unfortunately, as irritating as it is sometimes, his voice will always reach me when others can't.

But we don't ever have an actual conversation about it. Five days after Effie calls to announce the news, to tell me unequivocally that my presence is requested, Peeta sways me to go with just a look.

He comes over later than usual and brings extra bread and pastries to go with the deer meat I hunted. We feast silently, the air between us still incredibly awkward, when, without warning, our old mentor comes crashing through the door unceremoniously.

I don't know how much alcohol he consumed, but it's enough to knock even someone with Haymitch's tolerance off his feet.

By the end of the hour, the older man is practically beating his head into the wall of my dining room, screaming the names of dead children and about force fields and axes. And from across the kitchen table, Peeta touches my arm—the first time he's voluntarily touched me in weeks—and my eyes meet his, blue pouring into gray, and silently he begs me to go for the goodbye ceremony to Haymitch's arena.

And I give in. Not just for him. But also, in large part, to repay the caustic, miserable drunk that kept us alive. To support the unpredictable, temperamental man that I do consider my family somehow.

The ceremony is set to take place weeks later and the time does little to alleviate my anxiety. Peeta and me still don't speak much, but come time for lunch or dinner, there he is, in my house like clockwork.

When I point out, a few days before we're due at the train station, that there's a very realistic possibility that the Capitol won't let me go to the ceremony, Peeta casually says, "I already cleared that with Effie and Plutarch."

I shoot him a look of surprise. "You did?"

Shrugging nonchalantly before turning back to the rabbit on his plate, he murmurs quietly, "Thought it'd give you one less thing to worry about."

The ceremony is nothing like I expect. Somehow I figured there would be an obnoxiously large television crew, loud speakers, prepared speeches on written cards, awkward directions and crowds upon crowds of people surrounding us, asking pointed questions, shooting invasive stares and pressing for reactions to their nosy accusations. I expected those accusations to be directed at me and Peeta especially.

Instead, there's none of those things. There's no crowd at all, it's just us victors. Just Enobaria, Johanna, Annie, the three of us from Twelve and Beetee—who I still can't make myself so much as look at, reminded of my sister's absence and his role in it every time we so much as stand in five feet vicinity of each other.

The camera crew consists of Mitchell, Pollux and Cressida, along with two unfamiliar, but seemingly non-threatening faces. There's no directions, no prompting, not close ups or reshoots.

All that happens is Paylor makes a statement that the crew films, stating that the arenas will be destroyed one by one, and in the place of each there will be an individual memorial made, as we victors stand in an unorganized, crooked line that will surely make Effie cringe when she sees the footage on television later.

It's almost peaceful, I think to myself in surprise, as I look around at the location. The sky is a stunning cobalt, even more brilliant in person than in the video Peeta and I watched on the train so long ago. The meadow looks like the grass is fresh, like it was just watered yesterday. The mountain is so breathtaking I have to physically tear my eyes away from it and even the woods look rather cozy. Or maybe that part is just me.

There's also arraignments of flowers, just like in the footage we watched, that spill every which way, filling our noses with soothing, floral scents. It feels unnatural to say about a place set up for murder, but with the deadly poisons lurking at every turn eviscerated, I almost can find this arena truly beautiful.

Of course though, it's not my arena.

It's Haymitch's and he looks like he's about to be sick. He's white-knuckled it for a few days without any sort of drink—to my, Peeta's and, even Effie's, visible shock—and I can see plainly now that he's absolutely regretting it. His eyes are hallow and wild at the same time and I can see his shaking palms beneath the sleeves of his jacket as he stares out at the source of his every nightmare for the last quarter century.

It shocks me that he didn't find a way out of this. Actually, it shocks me still that these ceremonies are even possible.

I never knew they kept arenas after the games were over each year. I never realized they kept all seventy-four death pits, haunted by child sacrifice, the way you keep old vases on a shelf.

At this point though, it's just another thing to add onto the growing list of horrific and unthinkable issues that the Capitol doesn't even grasp. Keeping the haunted graveyards of children as souvenirs shouldn't sit right with anyone, I don't care how you're raised.

I tell myself to not be so quick to judge, as I can't know who I'd be if I had been born in the Capitol instead of the districts. Still, the idea of condoning the things they have without remorse or shame seems unthinkable.

I'm torn out of my thoughts when Cressida speaks. "Is there anything you'd like to say, Haymitch, before we finish filming?"

Once again, catching me off-guard entirely—he's full of all sorts of surprises evidently—Haymitch clears his throat and looks down at his leather boots before speaking. "Ardor. Garnett. Dolan. Silver. Ryker. Artemis. Slayte. Pistol. Lex. Mac. Lumen. Gig. Brook. Aqua. Mary. Ripley. Lyme. Watt. Rocky. Gio. Belle. Raven. Kia. Mecko. Barker. Jack. Holly. Briar. Essie. Stitch. Coco. Paul. Mira. Miller. Coop. Harvey. Butch. Cutter. Bea. Skinna. Basil. Sunny. Rip. Spring. Oaker. Terra. Maysilee." He lists off the names in a way that is so matter-of-fact that it would almost be robotic if it weren't for the hoarseness in his tone that grows stronger with every name he utters. He hesitates for only a moment before adding, "Corentine. Alannah. Alastar."

There's a long stretch of silence, where no one speaks, no one blinks, no one even breathes. We all know instinctively who these people are—I know solely from Maysilee Donner's name being called—but we still wait until Haymitch speaks again, to confirm our assumption.

"Those are the names of all the people this arena killed." His eyes grow glassy and his brow furrows in anger as he fights desperately to repress his emotions, and suddenly I have the strangest urge to hug my mentor, to make him feel better like he tried to do for me once when Peeta was stuck in the Capitol and I was distraught. But I know it wouldn't be appreciated or wanted, and quite honestly I'm glad for that, because I don't even know what to say.

The last three names Haymitch said stick in my head for some reason I can't explain other than an odd gut feeling. But then he speaks again, an in a voice growing gruffer by the second, he says right into the camera, "that's every single person who was killed because of the second Quarter Quell."

And, like I should have known all along, it hits me the last three names are the names of his family who were murdered to punish him for the stunt with the forcefield.

The last three names are the murders of the last people he loved. Until me and Peeta came along.

As if his thoughts matched mine, Haymitch suddenly shakes his head and his eyes widen again as he stares past all the rest of us, as he continues to take in the exact place in which life as he knew it, twenty-six years ago, was altered forever.

His reaction is more understandable and genuine than I imagined he would ever allow it to be, especially on camera, and I want to say something but me and him both aren't good at saying anything, and I find myself looking to Peeta, hoping he'd know what to do.

Peeta doesn't meet my gaze though. He's solely focused on our mentor and just when he opens his mouth to speak, the older man to suddenly shake his head in our general direction and clears his throat.

"I'm done. Tell Plutarch I'm done with this crap. Just hurry up and bulldoze this place so I can go back to Twelve," is all he says to Cressida as he storms off, but his voice is rough and caustic once again, and I can only hope he recovers from this event soon enough.

Somehow, witnessing Haymitch relive his games, even through the shield he so obviously puts up to the outside world, triggers me though. For some reason, I feel my eyes begin to water as I look around at the meadow, at the mountain, at the golden cornucopia, and wonder how anyone could build a place where kids would eventually go to die? How could anyone have ever been so inhumane? How could a country just accept it? How did we live for so long with the Hunger Games overtaking our lives and still remained complicit? I don't understand. The more time passes, the more days I'm separated from the war and from the old world and the old way of life, I just can't comprehend anymore how we ever lived in a place so horrific.

I feel my eyes spill over and I'm grateful that Cressida has stopped filming already, because if Plutarch saw any tears on film, he would make certain it ended up on television.

I wipe my tears with the heel of my hand, trying to go about it as subtly as I can, hoping no one else notices. For the most part, I'm golden. Enobaria is already exiting, with Beetee following not far behind. Jo's back is to me while she speaks to Annie, though as per usual, she seems to be irritated.

Of course, it's too much to ask for everyone to remain oblivious to my waterworks. Even as I rid myself of them before they become widely noticeable, I feel Peeta's eyes train on me and know, despite the distance between us for the last few weeks, he isn't going to ignore my upset.

To my surprise though, he doesn't speak. He doesn't utter a single syllable.

Instead, I feel his large, warm palm slip into mine and squeeze tightly, lacing our fingers together, in a way we have done thousands of times before. Like two puzzle pieces coming together to complete a picture, like two indivisible teammates that will fight against anything that is thrown their way, like two halves of a whole finally finding each other, his hand grasps mine with a vengeance and I know I won't be the one who let's go.

He's still holding my hand when we board the train, hours later.

//

A couple weeks later.

"Yes, Mrs. Greenstead, I will get the chocolate nut loaf and a platter of the cranberry cookies wrapped up for you... Yes, it will be ready by the time you arrive... No, I promise they won't be cold," Peeta assures through the bakery telephone—a new addition that Thom and his wife thought was necessary to run a proper bakery. So necessary they bought it for Peeta as an opening gift.

It's not that the gesture wasn't nice or that Peeta didn't deeply appreciate it. I personally saw that he did, wholeheartedly.

But seeing it on the wall every day was just another reminder to me of my own personal vendetta against the integration between the Capitol's way of life and the districts'.

The only place telephones used to exist, outside of the Capitol limits, was the houses in Victor's Villiage, and if I'm being honest, I wish it would have stayed that way.

Maybe I'm being selfish, as I happen to still reside inside a house that once belonged to the said village, therefore I already had experienced this luxury prior to the new world. But I just can't make myself break the association between the items that had recently become readily available for all and the horror that was the Capitol.

Still though, the change was inescapable Telephones, cameras, heating pads, curling irons, quick bake ovens, cars and so many other items, were all growing in popularly across each district. Not that I was able to see a lot of these changes personally. But letters from Annie and my mom, and the occasional—unprompted and yet still begrudged—call from Jo, all kept me informed. Sometimes more informed than I wished to be.

Maybe I would feel entirely different if these inventions were brand new to me. But they aren't. I'd seen and used every one of them before. Their novelty had always been lost on me, perhaps because my only experience them was while inside the Capitol, surrounded by tacky colors and strong rose scents and itchy materials, headed for a death match, my life and the lives of those I cared always at great risk.

Of course, the new item in the bakery did make some things easier. Days like today are a perfect example.

Harvest Day is only one day away and everyone is coming in for their breads and their desserts. Peeta says it was always one of the most popular days, for as long as he can remember. Only difference is, before the war only Peacekeepers and town folks could afford to purchase anything. And generally, most citizens who even did come in, could only purchase a limited amount of items.

Not now. I don't know where everyone in Twelve was coming up with the money or if Peeta's prices are just a drastic drop from that of his mother's, but today, I swear I've seen every citizen in town inside the bakery.

Makes me glad that the portrait of me is hanging in the back, where no one else can see it. As pretty as it may be, as talented as Peeta is, I don't want a giant version of me displayed for all to see.

"Here you are," I politely say, handing two loaves of warm bread to a man who must be new to Twelve, as I've never seen him before. I'm debating on asking if he moved here recently when he passes a bill to me over the top of the pastry display.

"Thank you, hon." He smiles at me, looking at me a little too closely for my liking, as he swiftly walks out the door. His exit is met with the arrival of Val, a boy Peeta and I went to school with, who definitely was more Peeta's crowd than mine.

Val is a regular customer at the bakery, having always genuinely liked the Mellark family. His parents owned a small carpentry shop four spaces down from the bakery, and even with both them dead, he and his two sisters rebuilt the store, taking over their parents' legacy.

Peeta though is more focused on me now than Val's order. "Give me a second," he calls to his old friend, a little less polite than he had been all morning. "Katniss, what's wrong?" He asks urgently, seeing the look in my eyes.

I shake my head and push away the anxiety threatening to close in on me. "Nothing, just..." I hesitate, not even wanting to say it. Peeta's gaze refuses to lessen though and I sigh before finally mumbling, "That guy. He creeped me out. The way he was looking at me so closely..."

Peeta's hand touches my arm for a brief moment before pulling it away, making it obvious that he regrets the small act of even so much as touching me. But his words are still calming and they relax me a little. "He's gone now, Katniss. And if he scares you, I won't let him come back, okay? There's nothing anyone can do to you or me anymore. We're safe."

I nod, knowing the words like the back of my hand at this point, as it's the same mantra we always repeat to each other, every time one of us begins to panic or flail. But still, I open my mouth to refuse his offer. I don't want Peeta to turn away any sort of business. Not with the unpredictability and uncertainty this new world still rests on. We never know if the bakery will sell anything tomorrow or if all sort of income will soon dry up.

And we're the lucky ones, financially speaking, who were rich before the war and allowed—in a generous declaration by President Paylor—to keep the entirety of our money after. I don't have to imagine the anxiety others in the country must be in, knowing the curse of poverty all too well. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.

"I don't want you to turn away people," I say quietly. "Not on my account. You need business to keep this place afloat."

"I have plenty of money, Katniss," he reminds me, a little darker than I expect. "And I'd rather you feel safe than own a popular shop."

His words unexpectedly touch me, unexpectedly cut right down to the depth of my bones, exposing my soft underbelly. I'm about to do something stupid, like touch his hand, when Val makes his presence known again. "Your shop is already the most popular in the district," he points out, not even a little ashamed for having listened to our conversation. "And besides, why don't you just look at the guy's name? Maybe you can look him up, see if he's alright or not."

Peeta gets a glint in his eye. "That's a good idea, Val, thank you." As he moves towards the register to, I can only suppose, look for the man's receipt with his name and signature, he gestures to his school friend. "Katniss can get your order."

I shoot him a glare, only half kidding. I did come to help out, here and there, today but I did not intend to be an actual expected employee. For free, no less.

Instead of saying anything though, I just grab Val his three cinnamon rolls, his two snack cakes, four bagels, white chocolate donut and a loaf with raisins and cranberries.

Val, like Delly Cartwright, was always one of the few people in Twelve who had a few pounds to spare.

Peeta has a type of friend.

"Found it," Peeta now calls, bringing over a slip of paper to where I'm handing Val his three bags of treats. "His name was Rod Catamaran."

Me and Val, for the first time perhaps, exchange a look between us. "That's an odd name for Twelve."

"I've never even heard that name before."

"He may not even be from Twelve, guys," Peeta says.

I roll my eyes. "Because a bombed out district is really a tourist attraction."

"Hey, none of that," Thom calls as he walks through the front door of the bakery, with Kanon Bagley on his heels. "We've rebuilt this place beautifully and negativity is not appreciated here."

"Yeah, Katniss," Peeta chimes in, teasing me. I'm about to kick him in his only real leg, as we're the only two behind the counter and no one else will see, when Kanon speaks up.

"Can I buy a couple of pastries?"

"Of course," Peeta says kindly, walking around me to personally grab the two items Kanon requests.

Kanon is new to Twelve. One of the few new additions this place gained after all that went down. He's a large man in his early twenties, with dark skin and dark hair and eyes to match. But the only times I've ever interacted with him, he's quiet as a mouse, his eyes a little forlorn at all times and he offers more discounts then he should at the candy shop he recently opened next to the bakery.

He's from District Eleven originally and it takes no real critical thinking to realize he had a hard life, even before the war.

I'm far too familiar with the look of scars etched across the eyes. So is Peeta.

That's why, when Kanon looks down at the money in his hand and realizes he doesn't have enough to afford both pastries, Peeta immediately brushes it off. "That's okay, they're on the house," he instantly promises, handing the small bag over to Kanon with a gentle smile.

"No, I don't want to take it without-"

"I made way too much," Peeta insists, lying outright to make it appear Kanon would be doing him a favor. I know he didn't make too much, because we've been flying through everything today and keeping the ovens hot in case more is needed.

Still though, I back up the fib. "He did. We've been wondering all day how we were gonna sell enough stuff so we don't have to feed the leftovers to Haymitch's geese."

Kanon glances between us shyly, before taking the bag from Peeta's hand and slipping the few dollars he does have into his pocket again. "Thank you," he says softly and turns to leave.

Thom pats Kanon on the back as he passes him, before turning to follow. When the other man isn't looking, he turns back to us subtly and mouths, "thank you."

I wanted to tell him not to thank me. I only watched Peeta make this food, I didn't assist by any stretch of the imagination. I didn't own the bakery or do anything with the money or finances. It was not my choice to give things away for free.

But I'm far too focused on the boy in front of me to say any of that. The boy with the bread, the boy who isn't really a boy anymore. The boy who just gave away food for no reward at all, even on the most demanding and strenuous day all year for his business. The boy who just showed Kanon Bagley the same kindness I begged someone-anyone-to show me at eleven-years-old and not one single person did.

Except for him. He did for me all those years ago what he did for Kanon just now, and I suddenly have the most inexplicable, irrepressible urge to kiss Peeta right then and there, in the middle of the bakery.

I don't, however, and it's for once not because I lost my courage. It's because the door swings open again, just as Val exits right behind Kanon and Thom.

It's the same man from earlier. "Hi," Peeta greets, this time not at all sweet. Clearly recognizing the man as the one who made me nervous before. "Can I help you?"

"Yes," the man affirms, his tone brighter than you'd expect given our chilly reception. And our blatant wariness for anyone new. "I forgot to get a pecan butter cake before?"

There is a beat where me and Peeta exchange a look, before I awkwardly move towards the display case and begin to pack up his item. Peeta waits for me to decide to help the man before starting to ring him up.

"That was a nice thing you both just did," the man says as he patiently watches me fold the white waxy paper over his pastry. "For that guy."

"You were watching?" Is the only thing that comes out of my mouth.

"Only for a moment," he explains, his tone still friendly. Either he doesn't know how to read people at all or he's the most even keeled person in Panem.

Because I know I'm being rude, to a man who maybe doesn't even deserve it, I force myself to say one thing conversational. "This is my mom's favorite dessert," I offer, gesturing to his cake.

The man raises his eyebrows in an act that looks almost feigned. "Really?"

I instantly regret trying to be even slightly pleasant. Even his mannerisms seem fake. I'm contemplating if I should say anything else or go hide in the back room with the warm ovens and my portrait, when Peeta presses a button and the register dings.

He's about to say the total when the strange man shakes his head and hands to me directly an unfamiliar bill over the display case. "Have a nice day, you two," he calls, grabbing his cake and swiftly walking out.

It's not until he's gone, not until I have a moment to process the second weird encounter with the odd person, that I even glance down at the crisp bill he handed me.

It's a bill with a larger number on the back than I've ever personally seen before. I knew these kinds of dollars existed—I'm sure I could have gotten plenty after my first games—but I'd never seen one in the flesh.

Peeta sees my reaction. "What is it?" His voice sounds alarmed and he's stepping closer to me, but all I can do is gasp out his name.

"Peeta, look." I hold up the bill and point to the number on the back.

His eyes widen too, taking in the amount with a dizzy smile. Of both relief that nothing's wrong and excitement at the digit.

"Do you think it was a mistake?" I ask suddenly, looking over my shoulder towards the window, wondering if we should track the man down and give him his money back, before he evaporates into thin air.

"No?" Peeta shakes his head, the wheels in his mind turning quicker than mine. His face turns to that of elation, as the large bill takes some pressure off the bakery's sales. "No, he said he saw us give Kanon a break. He was giving us something in return."

I'm about to say something else, I don't even know what, but it all flies out of my head when Peeta suddenly wraps his arms around my waist and swiftly pulls me into his embrace.

My entire body goes into lockdown and hypervigilance at the same time. I can't move an inch but it feels like every nerve in my body is abruptly tingling and on fire.

My sweater lifts up slightly and his bare arms graze my lower back, eliciting a shiver to run involuntarily down my spine as his face buries into my hair.

I wrap my arms around his neck after a beat when I can make myself move again, and I feel him smile against my skin. I'm so glad at that moment he's holding me up, because if he wasn't supporting my weight I'd probably crash to the floor, unable to even feel my legs beneath me.

And, as a rush of heat shoots out from the place where Peeta's lips brush my collarbone, I suddenly feel only gratitude, not irritation, at the strange Rod Catamaran.

//

Four days later.

The world surrounding me is green. Green and brown and fire-bitten and scorched. Every which way I spin, there's embers soaring from that direction too, waiting to lick me with their burning flames, ready to decimate me once and for all.

But through the smoke and haze, I still can see between the trees two blonde braids. I still can see a small figure standing on the other side of the fire. I still can see her shirt that's come untucked in the back, creating a duck tail that I desperately want to fix.

Just as I notice her, she whirls around to face me, her blue eyes big and bright and terrified. "Katniss!" She screams, the same way she did the last day she was alive. "Katniss, help! They're coming!"

I don't know who's coming or what's happening or where we even are, but all I feel is relief somehow. Relief that she's here, that I'm in her presence again, that she's almost within my reach. Instinctively I call out, "Prim!" Just so I can finally get a response to the name I've been shouting into oblivion for almost a year now.

"Katniss, help me!" She cries again and then looks over her shoulder. She's not talking about the fire between us, as it doesn't seem too intent on heading towards her.

I don't know what's coming or who she's afraid of, but my instincts now go into overdrive. My body suddenly snaps into alert and I whip my head around, to see if I can find an opening in the fire closing in on me, if I can find a way to get to the sister I lost what feels like only yesterday, if I can find a way to save her this time.

There's no gap in the fire though. It's crowded around me, front, back and side to side. The more seconds that pass by, the closer the fire folds into my proximity, and I have to brace myself before making a split-second decision.

But it's not really a decision at all. Prim needs me and I cannot fail her. I have to save her this time.

I take a bold step directly into the fire, with every intention of running through it somehow. Of running past the wild embers, scorching myself no doubt, but still making it over to my distressed, frightened little sister. But it doesn't work like I expect.

But really, does anything?

These flames are nothing like the fires I've encountered before. And I've been around more fire in my life than anyone ever should.

No, these flames don't burn me. They don't hurt me or put me through agony or singe me to pieces. They don't melt off my makeshift coat of skin and they don't further decimate it either.

Instead the fire feels like almost nothing. Like something almost itchy, something almost irritating, something almost painful. Something that make me want to squirm and scream and escape all at the same time.

Which is real ironic considering what else it seems these flames do.

They seem to hold me into place. The second I'm in their hold, instead of the horrific pain I thought I'd be in, I'm trapped in a series of almost nothing.

I'm not in excruciating pain physically, but seeing my sister standing ten feet from me, and not being able to move any closer, not being able to protect her from whatever she's terrified of, is worse than any amount of injury this fire could have inflicted.

"Katniss!" Prim screams now, her voice only growing in its frantic nature. "Help! Why won't you come help me?"

I try to scream, try to tell her I want to but I can't move. But it turns out that these flames also paralyze vocal muscles.

"Peeta's dying!" Prim yelps out, looking behind her again, her hands beginning to shake in a way she almost never let them in life. She always tried to keep it together, to remain calm and rational in a crisis.

Her words elicit something entirely new inside of me though. "Peeta?" I yell in confusion, my voice suddenly no longer paralyzed.

"They're killing him! Katniss, please, why won't you come here? We need you!" Prim is close to hysterical now and frankly, so am I.

"I'm trying! I just," I move my hands down my body, trying to push the flames away as they rises up to my chest, trying to just break free from these fiery chains once and for all. "The fire, Prim! I can't get out of the fire."

Prim's voice drops then, loses all source of fear, every ounce of panic. Loses any semblance of emotion. "Katniss, there is no fire," she states blankly, her eyes looking directly at the embers covering my stomach and legs. "There's nothing there."

I just look at her for a moment, completely speechless. Her words are inconceivable, her eyes are haunted now, her facial expression is unrecognizable. Even her voice doesn't sound like hers anymore.

Before I can comprehend what's happening, in the distance a gunshot goes off.

Prim delicately glances over her shoulder now, her blue eyes cold as ice. "He's dead," she informs clinically, before sighing deeply, her tone almost disappointed. "And so am I."

I don't know what happens next or how it occurs, but I fly upwards in my bed with such a start, I give myself whiplash.

I hear a loud screeching noise hanging in the air, a hoarse trepidation that almost makes me feel better. I don't know why but someone else screaming in the middle of the night gives me hope, as sick as that may be.

Only it's not someone else, I realize, as my throat burns raw. I realize with startling clarity that I'm the only making all the noise. I'm the one shaking so tremendously. I'm the one who is sobbing.

"Shhh," a voice whispers against the darkness, and I flail involuntarily at the shock. "Sorry, sorry," Peeta instantly apologizes, his hands gripping my arms with a little too much intensity, trying to still my shaking. "It's okay, Katniss, you were just having a nightmare."

His words do precious little to calm me down though. "She was there," I cry, the image, the feeling, of Prim standing only ten feet from me and not being able to reach her too painful for me to unsee.

"Who was there?" He asks tenderly, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. "Katniss, breathe."

I don't even bother listening to his advise. I haven't exhaled since I was eleven. "Prim was there. She was begging me to save her and then I couldn't, I was trapped but-but," I cut myself off, unable to form coherent words and thoughts any longer.

Peeta gets the gist though. "Come here," he whispers and pulls me into his arms, like he used to on the train, when my nightmares woke us both three times a night. "I'm so sorry, Katniss," he says softly now, and rubs my back in a way that elicits goosebumps. His way of trying to soothe my shaking. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"You died too," I blurt out then. I don't even know why I feel inclined to tell him.

"What?"

"I was stuck and I couldn't speak and then Prim said you were going to die and I got scared enough that I could talk again and I thought-I thought," I stumble breathlessly, my tears pouring out against his shoulder now.

I feel his lips touch my cheek and I'm too upset to revel in the feeling of blood rushing there. "It was just a nightmare," he promises.

But my sentiment is unfinished. "I thought I could break free, that I could-"

"Katniss," he halts, still holding me in his embrace, rocking me slightly. "It wasn't real. I promise you, it wasn't real."

Those words, the words so often said to him by me, ring a bell that I didn't want to ring. It snaps me back into reality abruptly and without warning, I feel like my chest is going to collapse.

Because this means Prim wasn't really there, that she still is as dead as she was yesterday, that I still watched her explode into pieces all over the bombsite in the Capitol.

I still failed to protect her.

Peeta pulls back slightly then and rests his forehead against mine. "It's okay, Katniss," he says again, trying to calm my trembles by rubbing my arms up and down.

"How are you in my house?" I realize, with an intense sudden clarity. "How are you here? Are you real or am I still-"

He quickly puts me out of my misery. "You gave me a key, remember? A long time ago? We gave each other keys to our houses."

Oh. Right. I forgot all about that when he had his nightmare, didn't I?

Good thing he's an idiot who keeps his door unlocked at night.

He's explaining further before I can think to ask. "I heard you having a nightmare from my house. That's why I rushed over here."

I'm caught between embarrassment and gratitude. "Sorry, I really don't know what brought it on."

"Hey," he quietly reprimands, lifting my chin now to meet eye contact. "Don't apologize. No one understands nightmares like me."

I nod, accepting his words, though still a little uncomfortable with screaming for all the district to hear at two in the morning.

Then again, our entire neighborhood is Haymitch and the two of us, and our mentor was drinking like a fish last night so really, the only person who could have heard me is already sitting directly in my eye line.

To punctuate his words, when I don't respond verbally, he lifts my hand up and brings it to his lips tenderly.

And I don't know what comes over me or why. I don't know if it's because we've been growing closer again lately or if I just haven't felt his arms around me since days ago in the bakery and I miss the feel of it desperately, but I find myself abruptly throwing my body around his before I can talk myself out of it.

He catches me easily, like he anticipated my reaction and sways me for a long moment, until my breathing begins to even itself out.

"Will you stay?" I rasp into his neck, as I feel his hand tangles in my matted locks.

"Always."

[yoongisbabymomma-typing]

Big Fat Crush | Ksj

Pairing | Jin x secretary!reader

Word count | 4.0K

Genre : Fluff

Summary: You’re Jin’s personal secretary he doesn’t want to admit that he has a crush on you until something happens to make him realize he has a big fat crush on you.

A/n: I wanna thank my friend Kathy for editing the story and making it seem more professional. Enjoy the story I haven’t seen too many Jin fanfics so here.

Y/n’s POV

It was close to the end of my eight hour shift, I stretched back and cracked my numb fingers. I missed the sunset, now it was pitch dark outside, though I don't necessarily mind the twinkling of the few distant stars. I work for a big company, By the Kim’s, they are number one in social status everywhere. They could literally walk into any store or place and everyone would be on their knees. I work for the oldest of three Kim’s: Kim Seokjin is the CEO of the company I work for. His younger siblings are Kim Namjoon and Kim Taehyung, who’re both also CEOs.

Jin works all day at the office, I rarely see him leave the place; it’s like his second home. I am his personal secretary, I finish the leftover work he usually has. My interview was impressionable to Jin, because we had recognized each other from our high school days. I was already late, running through the crowded hallway in my heels that weren’t at all tall, but still inducing my anxiety. I tried so hard to look fancy to give off a good impression, as any newcomer would. As I weaved my way through different bodies containing the same excitement mixed with nervousness, I finally made it to the correct room for my interview. “Room 316”, the plaque read. I grabbed the metal handle with a sense of urgency, and my nerves wracked throughout my body as the door opened to reveal the receptionist, a young lady with pursed lips in a gentle smile.

“ Is this the room for the interview of Mr. Kim’s secretary? ” My voice came out in a squeak and I could’ve sworn I saw the corner of the receptionist, Song Yoon Ah’s, lips curl as she tried to hide her laugh.

“ Indeed this is the correct room, may I have your name? ” She already had her hand on the mouse, ready to pull up my profile picture on her computer screen.

“ Um, y/n l/n. ” I saw the computer screen’s light illuminate Ms. Song’s face as a familiar picture of me was shown on her computer screen.

“ Ms. l/n, your number is twenty, there’s only one person before you, so please just take a seat. I have some candy, if you'd like some?” Ms. Song pushed an intricate bowl of different assortments of mints my way. I grabbed four of them, two to calm my nerves and two to make my breath smell fresh, well, I supposed all mints do the latter. After an excruciating twenty minutes, my name and number were finally called. I saw the door open as the previous interviewee exited the room, and I shakily stood up, brushing off any nerves and dust as I walked towards the interview room. Ms. Song had given me two thumbs up in support as she sported her classic pursed-lip smile.

During the interview, I noticed Jin’s eyes moving robotically as if scanning each and every one of my facial features. He would glance curiously from my eyebrows, to my eyes, to my lips on repeat before asking if I attended Bosung High School. This took me by shock, how did he know that I went to Bosung High School? I guess he noticed it, because he was chuckling to himself. I continued to stare at him in bewilderment, a slight image of him floated across my mind, but for the life of me, I couldn’t place who this man was in my memory.

He stood up and asked,

“ Ms. l/n, do you remember me from high school? ”

“ I’m sorry, Mr. Kim, I feel fond of you, however, I can’t quite place who you were in Bosung High School. ” I replied to his previous question, he smiled a smile that made me feel even more nervous as to who he was. It felt like the longest two minutes before a clear memory of him resurfaced in my mind’s eye,

“ Ahh, Mr. Kim, were you in my film class? You were the one that wore glasses..? ” His eyes lit up in recognition of the fond memory and he laughed, the sound of bell charms,

“ Ah, yes, I wore glasses during high school. ” I smiled, the distant memory of his dorky, high school self. He was always late to class, and he always ate a bunch of snacks when our teacher had his back turned towards us. He looks a lot different now, his build less scrawny and more lean. The inky black of his suit made him taller and more intimidating, but little did people know that he was extremely dorky, or at least he was.

“ Since we’re familiar with each other, you can just call me Jin. ” I nodded, and told him to just address me by my first name, too.

Leaving the interview room felt like a weight of thousand sins had been lifted off my shoulders, Ms. Song was eager to ask me how the interview went, to which I nodded and told her that it went well, that Jin and I were actually already accommodated to each other. Ms. Song’s eyes gleamed as she smiled a full smile, revealing her pearly teeth, as she congratulated me.

As I was exiting the hallway from the interview room, I heard my name being called by a familiar voice.

“ Y/n-ah, wait! ” I turned around, it was Jin running to catch up to me.

“ Here, it’s my card. You can call me later and maybe we can go out to dinner or coffee, whenever you’re free. ” He was slightly out of breath, and his outstretched hand shook with nervousness as he handed me the card.

I smiled and took the card from him, “ Thank you, I’ll take you up on the offer. ” The day ended with us scheduling a free day for Jin and I to go out for coffee, to catch up on each other’s lives. A few days later, I got a call from Ms. Song, congratulating me for being hired as Jin’s personal secretary.

Presently, we're in a meeting for a new advertisement. I was taking notes while Jin was watching the presentation.

“ This is our idea for our new advertisement, any questions? ” said Mr. Wang, head of the advertisement department. He was a short, middle-aged man, who was constantly cheery and his wife always baked random goodies for everyone at work.

“ Everything looks good Mr. Wang, we can proceed to the next step. This meeting is adjourned, thank you all for coming. ” Jin stood up and we briskly walked away,

“ Mr. Kim, that was the last thing on your schedule for today, you can go home and rest now. ” I glanced at Jin as he rubbed his face tiredly,

“ No y/n, you can go home first. I have a few papers I need to attend to. ” I greeted him before grabbing my belongings and eagerly heading for home.

The ride home was long, the sky was pitch dark, as always, and the moonlight illuminated the road home. I’d never felt more relieved, yet scared, as I entered my dark house. It was only after flickering on every light in the house and making sure there weren’t any invaders hiding behind shower curtains, under the bed, in the closet, or behind doors, did I feel safe. But just as I was relaxing in my pajamas, ready to binge watch some kdramas, when my phone rang with it’s rude alarm as the caller ID showed an idiot. I almost considered not picking up, almost.

“ Hey Chan! ”

“ Yah, y/n-ah, let’s go out to the club~ ” came the whiny voice on the other side of the line, he always bothers me when I’m about ready to enjoy the rest of my day spending time alone.

“ Why? I just came home and― ” I was rudely interrupted by his obnoxious voice,

“ I’ll be there in twenty minutes, be ready~ ”

Chan ended the call abruptly, “ Great, I came home ready to relax, just to have to go out again. Ugh. ” The scowl on my face couldn’t be more pronounced. I rushed fixing my makeup and figuring out a cute outfit to wear. As I was finishing, I heard a honk, and a glance out the window revealed Chan’s car parked on the side of my house. I sprinted through the house, double checking for invaders, even though I was the only one home for the last few hours, I just had to be sure. I flicked off every light in the house, grabbing an extra jacket since it tends to get colder during the nights, before locking the door and greeting Chan in his car.

“ Hey y/n, looking spicy~ ” Chan looked at me over his sunglasses, I don’t even know why this idiot is wearing sunglasses DURING THE NIGHT. I mean, aren’t they called SUNglasses for a reason??

I surveyed Chan up and down before saying, “ You look good too Chan, I guess. ” Chan gasped and whipped his head around so fast, I could’ve sworn he was about to snap his own neck,

“ Girl...you didn’t! ” I laughed at his exasperated cry as he continued to whine.

“ Let’s just go, I want to go home early. ” He started the ignition and we were off to the nightclub. We arrived at the club and Chan and I fought over parking space with a black SUV, Chan rolling down his window aggressively before flipping off the driver, who simply smirked at Chan. I could’ve sworn I saw Chan blush. I know I did.

Inside, Chan and I went straight to the bar because I insisted on something to get me going. After downing a couple of shots, we started to dance, no dirty dancing, just two friends dancing around drunkenly like everybody else was. After a few minutes of failed dancing, Chan whispered to me, “ Hey girl, I’m going to find a boyfriend, see ya! ” I laughed at him and he smacked my ass, “ Yah Chan! You made me come here, and now you’re ditching me? ” I saw Chan walking towards some figure in the back, he looked so familiar. That’s when I realized it was the SUV driver from earlier, that douchebag Chan. I knew he caught feelings.

I went to the bar to grab a few more shots before leaving, but I got a tap on my shoulder,

“ Hey y/n. ” I turned around and it was another familiar face,

“ Oh hey Jackson, what are you doing here? ”

He sat beside me and ordered a drink for himself, “ I need a little break from work so I came here to have fun. What about you? ” We engaged in conversation back and forth before Jackson invited me to the dance floor.

Jin’s POV

I was finally done with my papers when I got a call from one of my close friends,

“ Hey Jimin. ”

“ Jin, you wanna go to the club today? ” My friend’s eager voice insinuated he really wanted someone to go with him. Since I was already finished with work, and I needed some distraction, I guess it wouldn’t hurt.

“ Sure, I’ll meet you there. ”

As I parked, I heard Jimin call my name from afar, “ Yah! Let’s go in, Jin! ”

We walked in and the hostess invited us upstairs to a table in the VIP section. Some girls tried to come over and sit with us, promising a good time, but Jimin and I both declined. He had a girlfriend, and I had a tiny crush on someone. We ordered our drinks and waited around for them to be made.

“ So how was work, Jin? ” Jimin fiddled with his gold watch as he viewed the dancing crowd below the VIP section.

“ It was good. The usual. ” A brunette waitress brought us our drinks on a gold tray, we thanked her and she nodded before leaving us by ourselves again.

“ Hey Jin, isn’t that y/n? ” I paused from sipping my drink, a glance down at the dance floor revealed y/n with some guy laughing.

“O-oh, it is… ”

Jimin smirked, “ Aren’t you going to tell y/n about your long time crush on her? ”

“ I don’t have a crush on her. ” I denied it, what does he know about crushes anyway?

“ Yes, you do. Jin, you’re staring holes into the poor guy’s back. ” So maybe he was right, maybe I did in fact have a tiny crush on y/n. So maybe he was also right about me being too hesitant to confess to her due to my fear of rejection. I know he was certainly right about me staring holes into the back of whatever douchebag was dancing beside y/n.

I was planning to look away when I saw the guy slap y/n’s ass, that does it, “ No man should touch a woman like that. ”

“Jin, calm down. I thought you only had a small crush.” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows, a smirk playing on his lips. He was right. I did have a big, fat crush on y/n in high school. She was so quiet and beautiful, she helped me once when I lost my glasses. I was scared and blind, I went on my knees to find my glasses, but I couldn’t feel them anywhere on the ground. At least not until an angelic voice rang out, her footsteps stopping right where I was on the ground.

“ Here, ” She gently placed the glasses on my outstretched palm, before helping me stand up again.

“ T-thank you...” I said as I put them back on. I could finally see her clearly for the first time, and that first memory of her has been etched into my mind forever. She said goodbye and smiled a quaint smile before leaving. I saw her again at school, she was in a class with me. I stalked her Instagram, hoping one day to earn the courage to confess, but obviously, that never occurred.

Back to the present, I was marching down the stairs to the dance floor in my attempt to spot y/n. Swerving through the sweaty dancing bodies, I found her talking with Jackson, laughing. It was then that I decided I was going to confess to her. After all this time, right here, in a dance club, right now, years later, I’ve earned the courage to confess to her. I was going to confess my feelings and ask her out.

“ Hey y/n. ” Came my determined voice, I could feel my confidence slipping as soon as those words exited my lips, what in the world was I thinking?

Y/n POV

“ Hey y/n. ”

I turned away from Jackson and saw Jin, “ Oh hey, Jin. ” He fiddled with the watch on his wrist.

“ Y/n, can we talk privately somewhere else? ” Jin looked nervous, I’d seen him nervous before, but this time, it was a different type of nervous. He kept glancing at Jackson and appeared to be in a rush.

“ Uh, sure. Bye Jackson, I’ll see you later. ” I waved to Jackson and he grinned before Jin and I exited the club and proceeded to walk to my house together.

The walk to my house was peaceful, save more Jin’s nervous energy which made my nerves act up too. At my house, I offered him coffee to drink and we sat down at the dining table and I realized I didn’t tell Chan that I was leaving. I was slightly worried about Chan, but he’s a big boy, and I’m sure he can find his way home. Hopefully, he doesn’t drink and drive, though. I might have to go back for him...my brain wandered aimlessly as we sat in silence before I asked the question that had been lingering in my mind ever since we left the club. myI

“ So Jin, what did you want to talk about? ” I stared at him with doe eyes.

“ I wanted to say you look breathtaking y/n, and I wanted to ask you something. ” He fidgeted with the edge of his coffee mug.

“ Oh thank you, Jin. You also look good yourself! Go ahead and ask me whatever’s on your mind. ”

“ So y/n, do you have a boyfriend or anyone you’re interested in? ” He nervously glanced up to meet my eyes. His brown eyes were filled with a desperate look, almost pleading me for an answer.

“ Yes, I do, in fact, have someone I am interested in. ” I replied, smiling. However, Jin looked a bit hurt and a slight tint of jealousy boiled in his brown eyes, but I didn’t say anything about it.

“ Who is this person? What are they like? ” He asked, his full attention on me now. No hint of the nervous man just a few seconds ago, existed in this man, sitting before me now. His eyes were filled with a sense of determination now, determination for what, I don’t quite know.

I smiled, “ Hmm...lemme think. Well, he’s handsome, tall, broad shoulders, and fun― ”

“ You can stop now, y/n. ” He looked at me with teary eyes, all that determination diminished as fast as it came.

“ What’s wrong, Jin? Why are you tearing up? ” I walked over to him and wiped his eyes with my thumb, handing him a napkin along with it. He looked so sad, nothing like the man I knew from work. He clasped his hands tightly around mine, the warmth of his hands embraced my cold ones.

“ Why can’t it be me y/n? Why can’t you talk about me like that? ” His voice broke off towards the end, the desperate plea of a man stripped of his pride.

I tried to speak, but he cut me off, “ I want you to like me back, and I want you to look at me like I do to you. I want you to date me and marry me later, and have a family I want― ”

I cut him off with a kiss, “ You know you talk a lot, ” I smiled, “ From my description, I would have thought it was obvious I was talking about you. ”

Jin was a blushing and mumbling mess, but somehow he managed to say, “ I should have known you were talking about me when you said handsome. I mean, look at me, I’m Mr. Worldwide Handsome. ” We laughed loudly as I hugged his waist and he rested his chin atop my head,

“ So...is that a ‘yes’ to be my girlfriend? ”

I rolled my eyes, “ Yes, Jin I just confessed my love for you with that kiss. ” He laughed and hugged me tighter, before letting me go.

“ Oh and one more thing y/n, ”

I glanced up at Mr. Worldwide Handsome, confusion taking over my features, “ Yes? ”

“ Who was that man that touched my girlfriend’s ass? ” He looked at me with expectant eyes, waiting patiently for my explanation.

I snorted, “ Oh it’s Chan, my gay best friend. ”

Jin choked on his coffee, “ Oh, that’s great to know. You know what, I think it’s late. I'll see you tomorrow. ” I patted his shoulder and walked with Jin to the door. He was halfway out the door when he turned and came closer to me and gave me a kiss and ran to his car. I giggled and went to bed, feeling giddy even as the dawn broke the next morning.

I was in the hallway of the company, walking towards my desk. I noticed an expensive bouquet of roses on my desk. Confusion was my first reaction, until Ms. Song handed me a card wrapped in lace, her eyes gleaming with expectation and excitement. I could’ve sworn the entire office fell silent, all of my coworkers eavesdropping on my reaction to the card.

I untwined the lace and opened the note: “ Dear y/n, hello love, I wanted to say I love you and that I hope you enjoy these overpriced roses I bought, just for you. You can pay me back in kisses, cuddles, and compliments; those are the only payments I take. See you in a few, sincerely, your handsome future husband. ” I scoffed reading the cheesy notes, my cheeks flushed nonetheless, and my smile stretching from ear-to-ear.

My deskmates started to flood my desk, “ Oh my gosh, y/n those are beautiful flowers! Who sent them?”

I smiled, “ I will not disclose my love life with you guys, now scram. ” A collective sigh filled with disappointment and pouts regressed back to their desks. Ms. Song, however, was still smiling her pursed-lip smile. The entire day I was in a cheerful mood and my coworkers continued to pester me for the information on the card, but I ignored them, and they would continue to walk away dejectedly.

It was now night, and I was going to leave home when I heard a familiar voice calling out to me, “ Y/n baby, wait! ” I turned around and so did my coworkers so fast it was scary. Jin ran up to me and held my hand, everyone gasped.

Jin looked around and said, “ What? Isn’t it normal to hold your girlfriend’s hand? ” Everyone gasped again, some almost fainted, Jin looked back proudly, “ Yes, everyone. My girlfriend is y/n so no one better flirt with her or you’re fired. ”

Someone from the back remarked, “ Finally, they’re dating. It was so obvious! ” Jin and I turned and looked at each other, “ Obvious? ”

Someone else from the right corner replied, “ Yeah! Every time someone was getting close to y/n, Mr. Kim stared holes into that person and vice-versa. ”

We blushed a deep shade of red, “ Anyway, y/n and I are leaving. Bye, everyone. Have a good night. ” We left together. A few months later Jin and I were married. Two months after the wedding we found out I was pregnant and everyone was happy. Jin and I were super nervous to be parents sure we babysat before but this is a whole new ball game. Back to present I am now in the delivery room welcoming our first child.

“ YAH! KIM SEOKJIN, WHY DIDN'T YOU USE PROTECTION?! ” I glanced angrily at Jin, who nervously held my left hand.

“ I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!! ” I was pushing the baby out, while holding Jin’s hand and yanking his hair.

“ Ah- y/n I’m sorry! I’ll do better next time, please stop hurting my handsome face and I! You’re going to leave me bald, honey! ” Jin pleaded desperately.

“ YOU BETTER DO BETTER OR ELSE I AM GOIN― ” I felt the baby coming out mid-sentence.

“ Mrs. Kim, keep pushing! The baby is almost here! ” The doctor informed me and I screamed and pushed with everything I had left in me. I heard a baby crying and I laid there limp on the bed.

I heard Jin crying, “ You did good, baby! ” He gently kissed my head.

“ Here Mr. Kim, you can hold your baby. ” Jin held the baby and was smiling like he won an immeasurable amount of money, “ Look, she has your eyes and my nose, honey. Thank you y/n for everything, I love you. ” He whispered and I smiled faintly at the crying baby in his arms.

“ I love you too, Jin, and our new family member. ”

The doctor reappeared, “ What is the baby’s name? ”

Jin and I looked at each other, “ Kim Yeji. ”

[artificialqueens]

don't play the fool now (multi) - chapter 3 - lily2

[ summary ] : aquaria is having a ball of a time with her new mission though sharon can’t help but be worried for her daughter and shea has definitely bitten off more than she can chew.

[ authors note ] : I’m not dead! just busy, I’m not trying to neglect this au, I hope y'all enjoy, can you tell I’m struggling to write characters that aren’t sasha / katya / adore ?

— ✧*。

Sharon nervously sat in her chair, attempting to play it off by staring at her phone though she quickly put it down and turned, sipping her drink in the seclusion of her office, the anxiety in her face must’ve clearly been showing as Alaska snickered, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, “Jesus, I can smell your worry from about a million miles away, she will be absolutely fine.”

“You think so?”

Of course Sharon trusts Aquaria with everything in her, that was her own teammate and more importantly her daughter. Sure, there wasn’t any official paperwork truly stamped and saying in bold print that they were related or that she was adopted but never did she feel so strongly about someone in a motherly sense, Aquaria came when she was ten and when Sharon was twenty two, a hopeless and homeless child who was tossed place to place constantly until her parent’s rotted in jail and she had nowhere to be but the streets.

Sharon couldn’t get all the credit for finding and raising Aquaria, it was really Alaska who first found her, passed out and extremely cold in the dead hit of winter and took it upon herself to take the risk and bring her back to the underground, Bianca was of course furious but now she kicked herself for it: Aquaria was loyal, she was beautiful, she was intelligent and didn’t once speak of her old life, thankful for what she was and where she was brought into.

“Of course, she’s your daughter, with quotes around the word.” Alaska smiled brightly and stole a sip of her alcoholic drink, “Jesus that’s something.” She coughed out the words before clearing her throat, “Besides, she’s been asking Bianca for a mission for who even knows how long, she’s trustworthy and just as good as her mother I’m assuming.”

The flirtatious nature of her tone didn’t sit too well in the moment with Sharon who was just stressed, wanting to hear from her atleast a text but she knew she could ruin the entire mission if she did, her nerves would have to spike down for the moment and luckily the best distraction was Alaska since Bianca was also gone but more to see Katya, that wasn’t a major concern.

It had been three hours, Alaska counted for Sharon she had waited in her office, staring at the clock and occasionally laughing at some weird joke or story the blonde had beside her to tell, to get her a bit out of the mood and herself again.

Curling a piece of hair around her fingers Alaska gave a kiss to Sharon’s head, “Relax.” She whispered, she repeated it as she gently grabbed her shoulders and crouched a bit to be at eye level with her, “I know, I know, it’s an assignment and I should know she’s trustworthy and trained well, I know.”

Sharon had been with Bianca from the beginning of it all, they met at fifteen, Bianca raised well into the underground markets of hitmen, mafia, druga, violence, all that— it didn’t take long for her to absorb all of it and own it, all under her fingertips and so oddly at peace and calm with it, almost as if it was boring and the expected. When a dazed Sharon begging for something to do, definitely having a few kills under her belt even with her age, a job, Bianca quickly jumped on it and here she was: thirty two and still changed her hair color every three or four months.

And then there was Alaska who joined right after Sharon, at nineteen she had just come from escaping the cops and her own problems, hearing about the underground from Jinkx who knew her since they were kids. She was definitely Sharon’s favorite and anyone could sense it from a mile away, their relationship however was a bit complicated. Not complicated but maybe strained— Alaska didn’t want commitment or a relationship in a business where she could be killed or targeted at any moment and Sharon could only nod and let whatever happened, happen.

Multiple times of kissing, sharing a bed, sleeping together, everything possible had happened to them already. Alaska didn’t ever mind the affection or them being obvious in front of the rest of the teammates, it was really just when Sharon tried to make things permanent that Alaska had a problem, never wanted to go on a date, no cutesy romantic gestures allowed.

Alaska didn’t want commitment.

It wasn’t them playing around either, the jealously that boiled through Alaska’s veins whenever Sharon spoke about men or women flirting with her on various missions was enough of a satisfaction to her, seeing the blonde so winded and so aggravated.

Bianca, Sharon, Alaska, Jinkx and Bob were the original five who had met, become engulfed in the business and really built the team up but it was Bianca (who always had the final say regardless), Sharon, Bob and Raja who had the power and leadership tendencies with their own circles and ranks though it always all boiled back to the throne, as Alaska called it, which was Bianca unsuprisingly to everyone.

A sudden burst of the door had Sharon completely jump from her seat and dust off her dress, looking at Alaska who looked around and shrugged, unaware of who it was though Aquaria or Violet seemed like the most viable options.

“Mom!”

Sharon heard it in a voice so clear that she ran out her office, Alaska shaking her head. “Aquaria!” She yelled out her door before the two made eye contact and quickly collapsed at the couch into eachother, “Fuck kid, you can’t just not text me.” She kissed her head and smiled, gasping once she looked at her face and noticed the dried blood from her nose and the skin open on her neck in three slashes, “I’m fine, I’m fine, really!”

The panic running through Sharon was enough for Alaska to widen her eyes looking at how deep the cuts actually ran and went to go out the door, “I’m getting some stuff, hang on.”

Aquaria sniffled and groaned as Sharon was quick to take a tissue and brush the dried blood off, “I’m fine, really!” She insisted, her rose gold sequin dress was stained with blood at the sides but she ignored that, usual part of the job, focusing more on her face and looking at her neck, “No you’re not, what happened?” She spoke as she bit her tongue, they looked awful and battered.

“Well we killed him, Violet took the shot because he punched me after I tried to hold him down, I should’ve thought through the fact he was about five inches taller than me and definitely twice my size.” She laughed though Sharon didn’t find it too amusing so she continued with a small grin, “Basically we brawled and fingernails got involved but—” she showed her hand that had perfectly sharp and studded long stiletto nails, “I think we know who won that.”

She had to grin a bit at Aquaria’s clean and primed nails, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She muttered to Sharon who worriedly hugged her and sighed into her shoulder, pulling back and nodding, she was okay just bruised up but they got the target, Aquaria held up a wallet and smirked wildly, Sharon laughed and clapped, “So even is he, Bianca didn’t tell me too much.”

“So originally we needed to find his daughter, more for finding out who this original person was, Bianca said he was Alaska’s old laywer who betrayed her and all that jazz but instead, we found something else, his daughter was far too busy with poker to notice that his own assistant was there.”

Now I’m starting to see why Bianca didn’t want to tell me too much.

“So we flirted around, got drinks, acted normal, all of that preliminary shit.” Aquaria ran a hand through her straight hair, “Long story short we got to a private area, reserved for special members, killed him, grabbed his wallet and ran.”

“So this isn’t the father? Just his assistant?” The disappointment in Sharon’s voice quick to make Aquaria stand and pull out some of the cards in the wallet, “Yes but guess what? He has a copy of every ID and identification of the father since he was his personal assistant.”

Slowly she puzzled it together, “Because of security measures, they’d never let him carry it since he is so desired and wanted and easy to rob let’s face it, the man is beyond his years, but the assistant would be a smart choice since no one really gives a shit, no one would show up at his house thinking he had any good information or valuables of the guy but he does, all in his leather wallet.”

She threw it on the table, it was slightly perfectly clean and Sharon couldn’t help but groan, smiling and hugging her daughter, “I’m such a proud mother.” Aquaria’s eyes glimmered with nothing but pride, “I’m so glad, it was fun and sometimes a bit tense but, I’m glad.”

The door opened again and they both sat, Aquaria laying down and putting her head in Sharon’s lap, beyond tired. Alaska nodded once more, “I’m back and with the best medic!” She winked before Peppermint presented herself and carried her in her two boxes, all full of supplies.

“Sorry to intrude so late.”

Peppermint was far too soft for her own good, it was almost suprising she was still here though she was definitely the best medic they had, she had a damn bachelor’s of science in biology until she decided to drop out, school and especially nursing school far too much to handle. Her real name was Agnes but no one really used it, Peppermint was her nickname and it stuck with everyone for years. The lingering risk of hospitals and having to expose identities was why they all were so thankful for the medics they had with them.

“Oh c'mon, you’re acting like your job isn’t important.” Aquaria sweetly replied, “I know it is, I hear it everyday.” Peppermint gently moving Aquaria around and crouching so she should look around at her nose, “Okay, are you currently having any difficulty breathing?”

“I did when being driven back home but once I cleaned out all the blood that was dried I’m breathing easier, it’s just a bit more difficult.” Peppermint nodded and glanced from back before coming in close again, “Well, it’s not good if you’re not breathing easy and I can tell from a mile away your nose is crooked, you broke your nose is what I’m trying to say.”

As expected, Aquaria didn’t find it much of a surprise though Sharon almost wanted to collapse to which Alaska sat right next to her and latched onto her arms, “It’s fine, she’s fine.” She muttered close to her ear before nodding at Sharon’s uneasy glance.

“As for these around your neck, these are awful, I say we do these as soon as possible because they look open and god forbid you get an infection, do you mind doing it now or would you rather wait in the morning? You’ll sleep through it or pass out either way with the medicine.”

Aquaria looked at Sharon who only shrugged and left it up to her, “Yeah, let’s do it now.” No hesitation in her voice from the reply as Peppermint smiled and helped her up, taking her by her arm and making sure she didn’t touch anything and told Aquaria to lift her head a bit. “I’ll take her back when she’s finished, don’t worry about her, she’s in good hands!” The door closed and Sharon was left with Alaska, she completely had all faith in their medics but nothing could really make her worry less about Aquaria, it was the “motherly instincts” as Bianca would tell her when she was far too paralyzed about Aquaria being hurt or bruised up.

“She’s an adult, she knows what she’s doing, don’t worry.” Pressing a kiss to her head before shaking her hair, grabbing Sharon’s hand, “It’s late, let’s sleep please.”

For once she didn’t refuse and nodded, getting up knowing it be better to just rest and wake up with a more clear mind in the morning, Aquaria would be fine, she would be fine and getting all the stitches done meant she wouldn’t have to worry about infection or other underlying problems.

She will be okay.

*.✧

“Pep, I met the most gorgeous girl yesterday during the mission.” Shea whispered, hitting her close friends shoulder, Peppermint rolling her eyes, “You’re playing with fire if you’re trying to win a girl over especially one you met while on a damn mission.”

Completely lovestruck Shea flushed, laughing and feeling all her nerves come out. “Well about that…” She begun as Peppermint crossed her arms, extremely curious to where this conversation was going as they sat and ate, the food from the small Chinese market across the block, there was absolutely nothing Peppermint loved more than Asian food and if ten dollars meant twenty five dumplings then she and Shea were sold.

She plopped one of the dumplings into the soy sauce before waving a hand, wanting Shea to continue, she covered her mouth to speak, “And?” She said on the edge of what exactly Shea wanted to say.

“You know Katya right?”

Peppermint glared, “I would hope so after being here for five fucking years!” She yelled laughing as her friend shook her head, trying not to laugh at how stupid the question was once she said it a dumpling in her mouth, she swallowed before continuing, tapping the marble table that they sat in, biting her lip, knowing she couldn’t possibly lie or get out of this.

“It’s her sister.”

The second the three words left her lips Peppermint gasped and almost dropped her entire bowl of dumplings, quickly catching herself and slamming her plate on the table before looking around, knowing no one would be up at seven anyway, they all slept in until noon unless Bianca called for it.

“Please tell me you’re joking.” She whispered as she stared at Shea square in the face, “I need to know everything and anything!” She yelped, clapping her hands before pointing, “But don’t get it twisted, I don’t support this, you’re putting yourself in real danger here messing around with her sister who Bianca said is now a detective.”

Even Shea’s face bleached white at that point, “She— she’s a what?” Her face and tone unclear and confused, Sasha hadn’t brought it up at all though in retrospect why would she? In a casino, late at night, that seems a bit too much to give away. “She’s a detective Shea, Bianca told me when I was getting Aquaria stitched up.”

Suddenly everything became more clear to Shea: why she hesitated to speak more about Katya, keeping the questions closed on her job, why she seemed so anxious someone had spoken to her, why they exchanged numbers— Sasha was a detective and of course blissfully unaware of what Shea was doing as a job, seeing her as a normal human which was refreshing to say the least but this was a bad combination already.

“But she’s so gorgeous and intelligent and she just oozes personality and wit.” She whined to Peppermint who could only sit and laugh at her misfortunate encounter gone right and also wrong.

“Well, I’m not going to snitch, that’s not my job.” She paused to laugh before clearing her throat and extending a hand to Shea who grabbed it and frowned, “But I’m going to say this, she might be Katya’s sister but that doesn’t mean we can be soft and nice to her, she’s still a detective and from what Bianca told me, Katya understands that we’d do what we have to if circumstances rise and she tries to play us out and locate what we do.”

God, you are playing with me too hard right about now.

“I understand.” She swallowed her words hard, knowing that dammit there was something there! Shea hated to sound like a romance novel and blinded by her emotions but Sasha was different and interested in her just as Shea was interested back.

“Good morning!” Yelled Vanessa who quickly stole a dumpling from Shea’s plate, as expected. “These are fucking great, I should start waking up earlier to actually go on food adventures with you guys.” Peppermint smiled sweetly, “It’s the perks of insomnia that comes with the job.”

The Pureto Rican cackled, “Okay but seriously, this is from Bianca.” She tossed the black file to Shea as Peppermint leaned back into her chair, offering her more food which she graciously accepeted, going at it immediately.

“I’m gonna go.” Shea stood up and grabbed her bag and phone, leaving the file after she skimmed through it and landed on what she needed to do, immediately getting up. “I’ll be back in a few hours.” She replied quickly to a confused Vanessa and Peppermint who glanced with furrowed brows, not even getting a word in before Shea shut the door and was running down the building.

She knew she wouldn’t but Peppermint grabbed the file anyway and opened it, beyond bewildered by Shea’s response, staring at Vanessa out of curiosity who only shrugged with innocent hands, “Hey now, I only delivered this, I didn’t take one peak.”

Putting the file down she sighed, shaking her head, completely unsurprised at what the file entailed for Shea.

“She has a lot of trouble on her hands.”

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 1D Fanworks Appreciation Day!

I want to thank all the amazing authors and artists who make this fandom as special as it is.

Here are all the fics I read and loved this month: (this is going to be looong)

I don't want a taste (I want it all) || thedaggerrose (blessedfetish) || "Fuck me yourself you coward" AU - college - crack - humour - 3k

The AU where Harry tells Louis to go fuck himself, Louis tells Harry to fuck him himself, and Harry follows through.

Always || JamieJam93 || amnesia - references of past depression - 85k

Thousands, if not millions, of fans had been right. Harry and Louis had been in love and together for four whole years. They were 'the dream team'; the couple that made others sick while simultaneously envious.

But thousands of fans had been right about something else too. The pressure had been too much. The fame had been too much. The closet had been too much, and, four years after the pair swore to each other that nothing could break them on the night of their first kiss in 2010, they broke up.

Fast forward to 2018, on the night of One Direction's last ever concert, and Harry has yet to move on. It's not as sad as it seems-he still lives his life and, for the most part, he's happy-but he knows that Louis was his one true love and is trying to prepare himself for a life completely without the other when an accident erases Louis's mind of all of his memories. In reliving the moments with him, trying to make him remember, Harry comes to find that maybe he never really forgot them at all and maybe, like him, he hadn't moved on either.

Enjoy The Ride || 2tiedships2 || a/b/o - strangers to lovers - road trips - fluff - 11k

The one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

Whisper The Wind || jacaranda_bloom || strangers to lovers - surfing - fluff - 36k

The one where Louis rides an elevator that may change his life forever, Harry loves the ocean but is a terrible surfer, Liam proves not all heroes wear capes, and Niall might actually have all the answers.

A kiss to build a dream on || noellehenry || Christmas - social media - pining - 17k

Harry has a brief encounter with a handsome stranger at the local Christmas Fair, the romantic kiss they share changes everything.

Harry is determined to find his Prince Charming and sets up a tumblr blog with help from his best friend Niall, owner of the locally famous Steamin' mugs.

Let the challenge begin!

Enter the Rose Garden || angelichl || a/b/o - friends to lovers - 10k

Soft heats make omega Louis clingy. Enter alpha Harry.

I been feeling high when I touch your body || Anonymous || gym - boxing- 17k

Harry is a boxer, Louis is an architect and Liam is the worst cupid that could ever exist.

The Pink Ghost of Princess Park || objectlesson || PWP - humour - sex toys - established relationship - light dom/sub - 7k

The thought of the vibrator does not go away. It’s sitting there collecting dust all through January, and every time Harry and Louis have to leave town for a press event or a show or to record or what have you, they come back home, and it’s still there, the Pink Ghost of Princess Park, the fucking glittery haunting that Harry cannot stop thinking of Louis stuffing up his arse.

Leave Your Mark On Me || FullOnLarrie || a/b/o - restaurant - mating bond - friends with benefits - enemies to friends to lovers - 32k

When Chef Harry Styles’ unbonded Omega designation threatens to derail his career, he does the only thing he can, and goes in search of a black market bond.

You Can't Change The Rolling Tide || LiveLaughLoveLarry || sailing - enemies to friends to lovers - childhood friends - friends to lovers - 25k

Louis lives on a tiny island off the coast of England and runs a sailboat touring company. When Niall is sidelined for the summer after his knee surgery, Louis needs a temporary new partner. Who better to fill that role than Harry, recently returned to the island after five years away? Louis is pretty sure there are plenty of better options. They don't get along until they do.

Take Care Down By The Water || shyserious || fantasy - magical realism - celtic mythology - fluff - angst - 37k

Louis has spent his summers at his Granny's in the Isle of Barra for almost as long as he could remember.

This summer wasn't supposed to be any different, but the little Scottish island turned out to be harbouring more than just the gorgeous white beaches, the clear waters, and the town drunk scaremongering the foreign tourists.

Pray Till I Go Blind || el_em_en_oh_pee || religion - religion kink - demon - homophobia - blasphemy - 19k

Louis is (kind of) a preacher. Harry is (probably) a demon. Of course, nothing's as simple as that.

This is not a love story.

Nocturne || rosegoldhl || fairy tale - fantasy - action/adventure - pining - 36k

Harry is a goblin living in the woods, entirely enthralled with a human named Louis.

I'm still learning to love || literato || minor character death - kid fic - pining - fluff - light angst - 74k

An au where Harry has almost everything in the world except for the will to move on.

Tell Me Your Secrets || dimpled_halo || For A Good Time Call AU - enemies to friends to lovers - dirty talk - phone sex - humour - fluff - angst - 17k

A For a Good Time Call au where Harry and Louis get off on the wrong foot when they first meet. When dire circumstances forces them to become roommates, Harry finds out some things about Louis that he doesn't expect will help him discover some things about himself.

We come in line || starsinoureyes || The Switch AU - mpreg - fertility clinic - 19k

Harry decides to have a baby on his own, Louis doesn't agree it's a good idea but lets him do it anyway. It took seven years and Harry getting artificially inseminated for them to find each other. Louis has a secret he didn't tell Harry and it might affect their family. Also featuring: a pre-pregnancy party, fertility clinics and pregnancy scares.

Sugar, butter, flour || EmmyLouWho || Nailed it! (TV) Fusion - reality tv - pining - 5k

Louis watches Harry start to pour icing onto his half-raw, still hot cookie, and tries to hold in his groan. He isn't sure if they’ve ever had a contestant on the show who tried so hard…and yet completely failed at every single step.

You can’t rig the show to help a contestant, he tells himself. Even if they’re adorable.

dopamine || Only_angel_28 || collge/university - meet-cute - social experiments - fluff - strangers to lovers - 7k

Louis honestly doesn’t know how he gets himself into these types of situations.

Well, actually, that’s a lie. He’s doing this because he needs the money, and because he’s curious. And, okay, maybe because he might be a little bit lonely too. He has always had what his mother affectionately calls an “adventurous spirit.” Couple that with being a (tragically single) broke grad student and voila! here he is scrawling his signature on a release form provided by the university’s sociology department. Essentially, he is agreeing to snog a stranger on camera for the sake of science.

Shouldn’t be a problem, right? All he has to do is lock lips with a (hopefully) fit bloke, collect his money, and be on his way. Easy peasy. Little does he know, fate has other plans for him in the form of one adorably quirky art student who goes by the name of Harry Styles.

Best kind of bad something || wildestdreams || established relationship - angst - fluff - ambiguous/ open ending 40- k

A NorCal AU where Louis is the town troublemaker and everyone hates him except for Harry.

What, like it's hard? || starkidpatronus || Legally Blond Fusion - girl direction - enemies to friends to lovers - enemies to lovers - humour - fluff - 25k

In which Harry goes to law school to win back her man, but gets a lot more than she bargained for.

Tell Me This Is Paradise || QuickedWeen || girl direction - smut - 5k

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

Your rainbow will come smiling through || hazkaban || Cinderella Story AU - minor character death - bullying - fairy tale retelling - 17k

When harry isn't working at his stepfather's cafe, he's trying to make swim captain and trying to finish all his coursework on time. when he's not doing any of those things, he's talking to the boy he met on the oxford hopefuls subreddit. when they decide to meet, he's elated. he finally gets the chance to meet the boy he's been crushing on! when the day comes to meet his prince, he learns that his online crush is none other than louis tomlinson, captain of the football team and friend of his terrible stepbrothers. now harry has to decide whether telling louis the truth is the right choice or if it's better to just let sleeping dogs lie.

From, your secret admirer || flicker_album || secret admirer - Valentine's Day - tumblr - mentions of anxiety - 13k

The one where Louis is Harry's Tumblr crush so he sends him secret admirer messages for Valentine's Day

Every Story Has Its Scars, Ours Is a Brand New Start || Rearviewdreamer || strangers to lovers - hurt/comfort - domestic violence - angst - dubious consent - implied mpreg - kid fic - 62k

Life as a devoted husband and an amazing father turned out to be a little different than Louis had expected. Everyone tells him it doesn't have to be that way; that he's worth more and that he's so much stronger than any one person trying to keep him down. It's all just words though until he meets the one person who makes him truly believe it.

The Pain Is For Pleasure || lovelarry10 || BDSM - established relationship - 67k

Louis and Harry have been together for a few months. Everything is great, but there’s one question burning in the back of Louis' mind - why won’t Harry have sex with him?

I Just Wanna Get Back to Us || louiesunshine || soulmate-identifying marks - angst - post-divorce - exes to friends to lovers - mutual pining - getting back together - slow burn - 62k

Or, where Harry and Louis are divorced soulmates who are seeing each other for the first time in two years.

Soup Of The Day || jacaranda_bloom || strangers to lovers - minor injury - hurt/comfort - 20k

The Restaurant AU where Louis and Niall are chefs, Chicago is windy, and cracking the big time is harder than they ever imagined. But when a mysterious man starts grading Louis' soups by leaving little piles of rocks, could it be just the thing they need to get them on the road to success?

Bleeding Love || momentofclarity || girl direction - enemies to lovers - famous/non-famous - 27k

Louis is an animal rights activist who throws red paint at fur coat wearing it-girl Harry Styles. Then there's a crack in the surface and something new starts bleeding through.

Oh, Darling My Heart's On Fire (For You) || aiienharry || girl direction - fluff - angst - 33k

Two girls fall in love on a road trip that was supposed to last a week and a half, but it ends up feeling like a lifetime.

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This || MrsStylinson || fake/pretend relationship - escort - angst - heartbreak - fluff - friends to lovers - 30k

Loosely based on The Wedding Date. Inspired by 27 Dresses. Basically, Fake Boyfriend AU with a twist. Louis' sister is unknowingly getting married to the ex who broke his heart. When faced with the prospect of turning up alone, Louis panics and hires a corporate escort named Harry. General chaos and epic jealousy ensues.

[five-hour-anxiety]

CREEPY HAUNTED HOUSE TOUR: DON'T FOLLOW US IN 👻💀👽😦😈 | The Theory of Real-Activity | LOGAN FOUND A BODY YOU GUYS

@zerogettie  @spacevirgil  @tree4life25 @thebiggestnaturaldisaster@pailettehazel @jordandobbertin @thecityofthefireflies @the-fabulous-kimball @azuranightsong @virmillion @erlenmeyertrash @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch  @the-sanders-sides @punch-you-with-friendship @captaincantatrice @clovenpinetree @jughead-is-canonically-aroace @aplaceinthevoid @zennyo

Word Count: 4500

Warnings: panic attacks, arguments, haunted houses, talk of demons

Pairing: platonic analogical

Summary: Logan and Virgil run a vlog together, and have decided to film in a haunted house.

“Virgil, for the last time, ghosts aren’t real.”

“Yes, I know that! You know that! Roman and Patton don’t, though, so we need to go ‘ghost hunting’ to prove it once and for all!”

 “I understand where you are coming from, but do we really need to do this? There must be a better approach to the issue – one that will not cost as much and save us the tour of a condemned building.”

 “Oh, that’s hilarious – you think I want to step foot in there? My anxiety is spiked at the thought of what could go wrong on the way out there, much less once we actually go in.” Virgil sighed and ran his hands down his face. His grape colored bangs fell back into place, and he blew on them in an annoyed manner. “Unfortunately, Roman has access to our Twitter and already made a poll.”

  “You mean to tell me-”

 “Yep. The people want a ghost busting episode.”

 “Why on Earth did I give him the password for the account? What was I thinking?” Logan brought his tie up to his mouth, and Virgil strained to hear the muffled curses over the mouthful of cotton.

“Roman basically just challenged you to a giant game of chicken – a public one, and are you really gonna let him win that easy?”

 “Grammar, Virgil, but you have a point. I cannot let that day-dreaming ditz best me. Clear your weekend schedule, we are going on a… what did you call it? Spirit pursuit?”

 “Okay, first – I have no weekend plans as that would require having more than three friends, and two – it’s a ghost hunt so unless you want me to meme the shit out of you again, never call this a spirit pursuit again.”

 “Oh, please, our audience does not need another joke – it’s bad enough you got everyone and their cousin to call the video blog ‘The Theory of Real-Activity” instead of its official name.”

  “Look, that’s better than ‘VirgeofDiscovery’, and it’s a vlog Logan stop trying to sound smart for once in your life.”

***

“I think that I saw this on Buzzfeed Unsolved, once. Just put the flashlight down and ask… something… to turn it on.”

“You know this won’t work, right?” The camera’s mic picks up Logan, who was exploring another room. “And it’s Buzzfeed, why were you watching that garbage?”

“Because I love Shane Madej, the only perfect human.” The camera swings upward so that we see Virgil’s face, and he points at the lens. “You can all quote me on that – make sure he knows that Virge from The Theory of Real-Activity loves his work.”

“Oh my God, Virgil, are you using our video blog in a sad attempt to get your internet crush to notice you?”

 “I-No! It’s a squish! And stop calling it a video blog!”

“If I were as childish as Patton, I would begin to sing one of those schoolyard chants about you and Mr. Madej sitting in a tree.”

“Well, gee, thanks for-”

“I am going to rap it instead.”

 “LOGAN, I SWEAR TO GOD.”

“Virgil and Shane, sitting in-” The camera stops recording.

***

 “Alright, do we have everything we need? My bag has a portable charger, extra batteries, and some water bottles as well as the camera I plan to use.”

“I have the salt.”

 “Virgil, didn’t we agree that ghosts aren’t real?”

 “Yes, but you can never be too safe. Besides – Patton wouldn’t let me leave without it, so now we have a pound of salt.” Virgil shook it around and shimmied. Logan groaned, and reached for the other’s bag, looking to see if anything else was in there.

 “Oh, I see you have a first aid kit – that’s a good addition. You also have the snacks, flashlights, and a camera but I don’t see your stress ball? Are you sure you wish to go without?”

“No worries, man, I got it in the car.”

“Why is it in your car?”

 “Roman had to drive me to my therapy session, and the chariot-”

 “You mean that disgusting minivan?”

 “Yeah, the chariot. Anyway, I have it in there because Roman was driving.”

Logan frowned at the thought, knowing that the man often bragged about having a lead foot while driving. Virgil just shrugged and hoisted his bag over his shoulder, shaking the salt container as he went out the door.

 “Hey, we both made it to the office in one piece, it’s all good. Moving on, we should probably do the intro before we leave the house. Get at least one shot with decent lighting.”

“Ah, yes, that is a good idea – do you wish to hold the camera or should I?” Logan locked the door behind him, making sure the spare key hadn’t been moved in case he misplaced his set.

“I’ll film, whenever you try to do anything in selfie mode you trim off half our heads.” Virgil threw his bag in the trunk and moved over to the passenger side door.

 “Why is it whenever we go anywhere in i car you refuse to drive, Virgil?”

 “If you didn’t leave your car at the university this weekend, we would’ve taken yours. And driving makes me anxious.”

 “Then why do you own a car?” It was a question Logan asked frequently, and never got a satisfying answer to.

 “I have a car because I’m too lazy to skateboard everywhere.”

  Logan rolled his eyes, and slipped into the car, taking the keys from the lanky man. He tied his hair back into a ponytail and motioned to Virgil to start filming.

 “Sup everyone, we still need an official video intro so keep sending in ideas. And I’m sure that you read the title, so y’all know we’re going on a ghost hunt today.”

 “Please, Virgil, don’t make it a clickbait title. Please don’t hurt me like that.”

 “I do what I want, nerd.” Logan groaned and started the engine as Virgil continued to talk, only interrupting to correct the brand name and to offer his stance when Virgil asked if he believed in ghosts. Despite his easy tone, though, Virgil seemed tense and his shoulders were drawn up close.

 The drive was by no means a long one, but by the time they finally reached the old house, Virgil had somehow managed to go through his entire playlist, having skipped each song after one or two measures. Logan found it annoying but said nothing, as he could see Virgil gripping his stress ball out of the corner of his eye.

This wouldn’t end well.

***

 “Logan, Logan it turned the flashlight on please, please tell me there’s a logical explanation for that!”

“I don’t know! Maybe it’s a faulty battery, or… or the switch isn’t fully on so it’s flipping between its off and on mode!”

 “OH MY GOD IT’S MOVING!”

 There’s a high-pitched scream, and the sound of footsteps retreating. The recording cuts to Virgil’s camera and shows Logan sprinting away as fast as he can.

 “YOU COWARD, DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! LOGAN!”

***

 “So, this is the place – leave it to Roman to pick a fucking mansion.”

 “Yes, well, I would expect no less from him. The Victorian style is quite breathtaking, despite it’s less than perfect condition.” Logan was leaning against the car, cleaning his glasses. Virgil shifted from foot to foot and fiddled with the straps on his bag.

“Do we really have to go in? We could just tell Roman there was like, a cop here or something, and he of all people should know that trespassing on private property doesn’t end well.”

 “I do not believe breaking and entering the theatre to steal a prince costume is quite the same, Virgil, and Roman would find that story compelling. No, we would have to mention that the officer was angered by our intent to enter a condemned area – we would at least have Patton on our side with that.”

 “Please don’t remind me of how unsafe this is. Not while I’m holding the car keys.”

 “You won’t drive anywhere.”

“At this point, self-preservation would let me do anything.” Virgil sighed and threw the keys at Logan. “Just hold on to these – don’t think you want me driving off without ya.”

 Logan hummed in agreement, pocketing the keys as he walked towards the front door. By the time he reached the porch, he looked back to Virgil who still hadn’t moved. Logan gestured towards the door.

 “Okay! Fine! But if something happens, this is all on you and your ego!”

 “If I recall correctly, you were the one who wanted to come here.”

 “Well, I changed my mind. C’mon, let’s just get this over with. Camera’s rolling.”

***

 “Logan, this isn’t funny!” The camera picks up a breeze from Virgil’s jacket as he sprints in the direction he thinks Logan went, his cries ignored.

The camera shifts suddenly, and we come face to face with the man himself. Virgil had stopped running and is standing in the front room.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I wish I was back in Logan’s basement listening to him rant about Mothman again.” He sighs, putting his free hand behind his head. “I’d rather listen to him confess his undying love for the thing than be here, choking on dust.

 “But! Instead, I let Roman win – which, by saying that, I feel nauseous – and now we’re here running around a death maze. There’s a ton of rusty nails and if we get cut on those we aren’t gonna get to a hospital in time. I think I saw a bat earlier? And where there’s bats, there’s disease-carrying mosquitoes. Not to mention those jacked up stairs.” The camera focuses on a flight of rotted stairs, the floorboards broken and, in some spots, missing altogether.

 “Yeah, stairs aren’t supposed to be bouncy. I’m just-I’m just gonna call Patton and see if he knows what to do from here.”

***

“I think there’s more dust in here than in Aunt Patty’s attic, and that’s saying something.”

 The house was older than anything the two had ever seen, and there was a fine film of filth covering every available surface. Logan couldn’t help but notice the numerous cobwebs and think of Patton – specifically, how much the man would hate being around so many.

  “Hey, do you, uh…” Virgil moved his flashlight over to one of the webs and stuttered out a few more false starts. “Do you think any of the spiders who made those things are, like, poisonous?”

 “If there are any venomous spiders, they will not bite you unless you give them a reason. They cannot eat you, so there is no purpose in wasting their venom on a large creature like you.” This seemed to calm the taller man down, and Logan moved over to the staircase.

 “Hey, don’t go up those, nerd, I already checked them. They’re not safe – the wood’s so rotted it’s squishy and soft.” Logan nodded and made a mental note to locate a different way upstairs.

The two continued to look around for a while longer, not finding anything remotely interesting. After about half an hour of quiet observation, Virgil suggested they started filming, claiming that the sooner they wrapped this up, the sooner they could drive away and never come back.

 “Salutations, class-”

“Logan, you’re boring.”

 “I am talking like I normally do, Virgil, how else should I speak? Like Roman, perhaps?”

 “God, no, please. Anything but that.”

“Well, in that case – greetings one and all! We’ve finally arrived at our grand destination and have been parading around the grounds for a few hours!”

 “I will throw this salt at you.”

 “Little grains of salt are no match for a prin- oof!”

 “I told you I would.”

 “You threw the entire container at me! Like a savage!”

 “What, you can pretend to Roman and I can’t?”

***

“Okay, so calling Patton was a bust. He told me to use the salt like a weapon and I had to tell him I already chucked it at Logan’s face.” Virgil snickers, running a finger under his nose. “That was the best thing to happen today if I’m being honest. Pat didn’t really appreciate it, though.

“Roman was also a wasted call – apparently he’s at some audition and when he answered, well, he just started screaming about newspapers.” Virgil pauses, and we hear something shatter off-screen.

“H-Hello? Demons?” The camera slowly pans across the room, almost making a full circle as even more thumps can be heard. Before it can finish, Virgil screams and drops the camera.

The screen is filled with static.

***

It had been about two hours, and in that time Logan had somehow managed to: find a way upstairs, provoke something into turning that flashlight on, proceed to run upstairs, get lost, and find a new respect for supernatural beliefs.

 “I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I believe in ghosts now.” His words echoed around the attic, unheard by anyone but him and perhaps the mouse he saw earlier. At least, he hoped that’s what it was. He couldn’t stand the thought of sharing space with a rat.

 “I believe in ghosts, so can we stop playing this juvenile game? How on Earth do I get back downstairs?” He waited for an answer as the logical part of his brain scolded him for speaking to thin air.

 He didn’t get one.

“This is ridiculous, I should know better.” He paused and listened again. “If I change my mind and say ghost are not real, will one of you tell me how to get back downstairs?” Logan removed his glasses and began to pace the room. The amount of dirt that had gathered on his frames was astounding – perhaps he had stumbled through a cobweb in his hasty exit.

“Well, what would Patton do in this situation? At present, he may make a joke about his poor eyesight and lack of- ow!” As he spoke, Logan ran into an old china cabinet – it didn’t fall, but he still held his breath as it swayed back and forth.

“Well, that was embarrassing,” Logan whispered, moving to the front to see if anything was inside. He found a few plates and teacups, though none were particularly impressive. If he were Roman or Patton he may have found the painted flowers beautiful, but he wasn’t, and he didn’t. The maroon one rimmed in gold paint did remind him of a set Roman owned, however, and made a mental note to come back for it if there was time.

But first, he had to find his way downstairs and reunite with Virgil.

***

“So, as you may have seen – though I can’t be sure because obviously, I do not know how this will be edited – I was forced to make a hasty, yet calm, retreat from the study.”

The screen cuts to a replay of Logan fleeing the room, and trombones play as he screams. Text pops up and it says “logan lies” in comic sans.

“After my exit, I managed to find my way upstairs and now I am unsure how to get down – much like a cat climbing a tree. But I did stumble across a cabinet full of teacups that I think a friend of mine would enjoy. I have also concluded that there are too many mothballs in this house and I will not cross meeting the Mothman off my bucket list today.”

Logan crosses the room as he paces, chewing on his lip in between sentences. “Despite my own disappointment, I find myself upset the most over being separated from Virgil. I do not believe he is well – I am ashamed to admit that I have only now realized he was suppressing a panic attack as we drove out here.

“To be quite honest, camera, there is a very good chance this footage won’t be posted online. It depends on how Virgil is doing and whether he is okay with releasing footage taken of him during an atta-”

Logan trips and falls into the china cabinet once more, a plate shattering upon impact. The camera swings around to show the floor and a trap door that was slightly ajar. A ladder falls from the floor, designed to be hidden when not in use.

“Well, here is my way down. This ladder does not look up to code,” He steps down on a rung, testing his weight, “but it should hold long enough for me to get down.”  He begins his descent but stops suddenly. Logan moves over to the cabinet and pulls out a teacup, placing it carefully in his bag. His footsteps are heavy and echo as he travels down the ladder.

At the bottom, he screams out Virgil’s name.

 ***

  “Virgil! Virgil, can you hear me?”

Logan shook him hard, but he got no response.

 “Virgil, please, you need to get up. I need to know you are okay.” Logan had spotted him collapsed in the middle of the room and jumped down the ladder as soon as he could, forgoing the last four rungs and sliding over to where Virgil lay.

“Mm, not so loud Logan. My ears are ringing.”

 “Well, I expected that. You must have hit your head when you collapsed – can you tell me if I sound muffled as if I were underwater?”

 “No, everything’s just beyond loud.” Virgil winced as he sat up, Logan taking note of where he grabbed his head.  “Logan, are you okay? You’re crying!”

 A quick swipe at his eye revealed that a few tears had formed and escaped.

 “Well, of course – I am not without a heart, Virgil. The sight of you sprawled out like that was… immensely alarming, to say the very least.” Logan’s breath shuddered, and a few minutes of silence passed between the two, interrupted by an occasional hum from Virgil.

 “The ringing is gone.” The silence was broken, and with its absence came Logan’s ability to breath deeply.

 “That is wonderful, Virgil.” Logan stood up and dusted his jeans off before offering a hand to the other man. “May I ask what circumstances led to you losing consciousness?”

“I don’t know.” Virgil kicks at the floor. “So, don’t ask.”

 “Well, may I share some theories I have developed?”

“Knock yourself out.” Logan winced at the phrase, and Virgil mumbled an apology as he collected his equipment.

 “Virgil, I knew you were edging toward a panic attack on the way here – so I would like to start by offering a sincere apology for not saying anything sooner.”

    “Don’t. I didn’t tell you, so it’s my fault. I just didn’t want you to worry too much – or to turn around. I know Roman would have given you a hard time if we didn’t film an episode here, so I figured I would just deal.”

 “As I have told you many times, there is no ‘dealing’ with these situations alone in our friendship. Regardless, I knew you were not okay and didn’t say anything.”

 “God, Logan, can’t you let me blame myself for once? At least let me share the blame.”

“Fine, we shall share at your insistence. Moving on, I believe the building panic caused you to experience an irregular breathing pattern. I deduce that the lack of oxygen led to you losing-”

“No. You’re wrong.”

 “I beg your pardon? You just told said you did not know what happened how can you say I am wrong?”

 “Because it’s embarrassing, okay?! Damnit, Logan, it’s embarrassing how bad this attack was and how ridiculous my shit brain makes me react.” Virgil strode away, and out of the room, calling over his shoulder.

“Just help me film some stuff so people don’t know that the passing out act was real. I’ll lay down over there, and just… I dunno we’ll improvise.”

“Is it wise to publish this footage? Roman and his teasing be damned, it is more important that you are okay, Virgil! These cameras likely have footage of you panicking and us arguing! Are a few views really worth it?”

“Yes, because I wanted this episode! I put the poll on Twitter, not Roman, okay? So please, let’s film something stupid, make the whole thing look staged, and leave.”

 “Virgil-”

 “Please, Logan.”

 “No.” Logan crossed his arms and stood up straight. He was taller than Virgil, and his glare was cold enough to give Virgil goosebumps.

 “I’m sorry, ‘no’? Oh, so now you say no! Not when I asked to come here, not when I asked for demons to turn a flashlight, not when-”

“Virgil, stop this. You are behaving in an immature manner and this needs to stop. How was I supposed to know that you wanted me to tell you ‘no’? I am not a mind reader, so you cannot blame your poor communication skills on my inability to instantly know what you want.”

Virgil said nothing. He glared at Logan and sat down on the floor, eventually inviting him to do the same. They sat there for a while, as both needed time to calm down before speaking.

 After what felt like an eternity later, Virgil finally spoke up.

“I’m gonna start, but you need to let me finish before you cut in, okay?” Logan nodded, and Virgil took a deep breath. “I wanted to film at a haunted house because I knew we would get way more views than we normally do.

 “I thought, hey! More views means more add revenue – and yes, I know it’s not a lot – but with that extra money, we could start building up the funds to rent an apartment. I’m sick of living with my parents, Logan, and I know you are too.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Virgil, but I would rather endure a few more years with them than have you hurting for the sake of loose change.”

 “Yeah, well. What’s done is done, I guess.” Virgil sighed and leaned over on Logan. “I lied, you know. I do know why I passed out earlier.” He sighed and buried his nose into Logan’s shoulder.

“I will not deny that I want to know why, Virgil, but I do not want you to share if you are uncomfortable.”

 “Heh, well, maybe you’ll learn something new – did you know that anxiety can make you see hallucinations? Specifically, when the fight or flight stuff kicks in?” Logan raises an eyebrow but remains silent. “When the, uh, the – instinct, for lack of better word – kicks in, your pupils dilate.

 “And when that happens, the sudden light change can cause a person – like me – to see shadows and figures at the edge of my vision.”

 “Fascinating – but I assume this is a rare situation and does not happen to you often?”

“No, it doesn’t. But it did when… did you break something upstairs? Because something shattered, there was a lot of thumping, and then they just- appeared. I think that made me panic even more, and then yes – the lack of oxygen probably did the rest.”

“Ah, yes, I fell into a cabinet of china, and I believe a plate was shattered. I apologize for my involvement.”

“Nah, no worries about that. It was just shoddy circumstances. And,” Virgil looked up, offering a weak grin to Logan, “As cheesy as it sounds, we are probably a bit closer than we were before this whole trip.”

“You are right, that is extremely cliché. I appreciate the sentiment, however, despite how infuriating your statement is. Shall we film the ending of this video, now?”

Virgil snorted, pushing himself up using Logan’s shoulder.

“Yeah, let’s this thing wrapped up.”

 ***

  “Virgil! Virgil, please get up!” Logan is frantically shaking Virgil’s shoulder, his voice wobbly. The camera has been left on after being discarded in a hurry.

“Logan… Logan no, don’t- don’t go in the closet.”

 “I spent ten years in the closet, I have no intention of going back in.” Logan sniffs as he speaks, and Virgil gasps awake, shooting upward.

“Huh? Wait, what happened? …Why would you go back in the closet?”              

 “You said not to go in there – what happened to you?”

 “I don’t- I don’t remember. There was a- I think I saw something, Logan. A shadow, maybe?”

 “You must have seen my shadow as I came down the ladder.”

“No, I don’t think so.” Virgil pauses and stares at a spot on the wall behind Logan. “Where is the ladder you came down?”

 “To your left.” Logan gestures with his head as he hoists Virgil to his feet.

 “That means it couldn’t have been your shadow. The light wouldn’t have hit you correctly to cast a shadow over there.” Virgil points to a closet off to the side of the ladder. “Besides, the shadow didn’t look… well not to be cliché, but it didn’t look human.”

“Preposterous.” Logan has moved over to the camera, and the screen goes black as he picks it up. A few moments later, it’s aimed at Virgil as he talks about what he saw in detail.

“…and it had, well they weren’t horns per say, but they were definitely not something that’s on your head, nerd. But, whatever,” Virgil rolls his eyes, “I can tell you don’t believe me. Let’s just get out of here.”

  Logan hums in agreement, and the screen goes black.

 ***

  “Goodbye, murder house, see you never!”

 “Well, this footage is unusable.”

 “Wait, why?”

 “I am not ending the video with you flipping off an old house.” Logan sighed and turned the camera off. Virgil pouted and turned to finish packing the equipment into his car.

“Hey, I know what I’mma call this video. ‘Logan finds a body’!” Virgil spread his arms out in emphasis, narrowly missing Logan’s face in the process.

 “That is absolutely morbid, Virgil, and uncharacteristically short.” Logan shut the trunk with a slam and fished the keys out of his bag as Virgil moved to the front seat.

 “Yeah, no, it’ll have emojis in it, the vlog title of course, and-”

  “By chance, will it be the proper title?” The car started with a roar, and the two were met with a blast of warm air. Virgil scrambled to open his window and Logan quickly shut off the air flow. “Because the channel is called ‘VergeofDiscovery’, not the childish pun Patton came up with.”

 “The Theory of Real-Activity is an amazing name, and I will fight you on this. You’re just jealous that you didn’t come up with it.”

 “Falsehood!”

 “Keep telling yourself that, nerd. Pass me the aux cord.”

The drive home was lighter than the last one – Virgil never once changed the music and the two could be heard screaming along as they flew down the road. The stress ball remained in the cup holder, untouched until the next big adventure.

[annncertain]

Blue And Grey

Where is my angel

The end of the day

Someone come and save me, please

A weary sigh of a tiring day

I guess everyone's happy

Can you look at me? 'Cause I am blue and grey

The meaning of the tears reflected in the mirror

My color hidden with a smile, blue and grey

I don't know where it went wrong

Ever since I was a kid, I've had a blue question mark in my head

Maybe that's why I've been living so fiercely

But when I look back, I'm all by myself

That hazy shadow that swallows me up

Still, the blue question mark, is it anxiety or depression?

How am I so regretful?

Or maybe it's me that loneliness gave birth to

I still don't know, dark blue

I hope it doesn't erode me, I'll find an exit

I just wanna be happier

To melt the cold me

My hands have reached out countless times

Colorless echo

Oh, this ground feels so heavier

I am singing by myself I just wanna be happier

Am I too greedy?

I felt when I walked on the cold winter streets

The sound of my fast heartbeat breathing

I still feel it

Don't say it's okay

'Cause it's not okay

Please don't leave me alone, it hurts too much

The way I usually walk and the light I always receive

But today it's a strange scene

Is it dull or is it broken?

But it's heavy, this lump of metal

Approaching gray rhino

I'm just standing there without focus

It's not like me at this moment

I'm just not scared

I don't believe in the God of confidence

Colorful words tickle

A large gray area is convenient

Gray with hundreds of millions of facial expressions here

When it rains, my world

Dancing over this city

It's foggy on a clear day

Always together on rainy days

Toast to all the dust here

I just wanna be happier

Feel the warmth of my hands

It's not warm, so I need you more

Oh, this ground feels so heavier

I am singing by myself

In the distant future, when I laugh

I'll tell you I did

After secretly picking up the words in the air

Now I fall asleep in the morning, good night