#and there was no error message so there's no way the customer can know :-)

[stormxpadme]

Doc still didn't call btw bc who needs to know if they're gonna get surgery in five days or not anyway :-)

[tojisun]

OMG. the helmet!!:!!:!: this might be biker simon https://pin.it/3aqBTs5

holy fuck the details on that??? AND THE MUSSY HAIR????

THIS MIGHT BE BIKER!SIMON FR

…ok but it def terrified you when you first saw his helmet 😭

you’ve been hearing johnny joke about simon being in his emo phase, talking about a skull helmet and teasingly call it cringe so you had… low expectations about what it could look like. you’ve seen graphic art on helmets before so you ascribed those to simon’s – a helmet you haven’t seen yet given that simon kept picking you up with his car instead so you never got the chance to glance at the art.

one night, simon messaged you saying that he’d crash at your place for the time being. the meet dragged on, apparently it’s because many members were preparing for the upcoming rally, and you replied to him, saying that he give you a call so you can unlock the door for him.

it’s two in the morning when simon calls, his muffled voice ragged from exhaustion as he tells you he’s outside. you mumble sleepily to him, dismissing his murmured apologies as you amble towards your door.

you peer through the peephole, fear dousing your previous exhaustion because what the fuck is that on the other side of your door.

“sweetheart?” simon’s voice crackles from your phone and you jolt, air rushing back into your lungs. you quietly turn, speeding away from your door to lock yourself in your bathroom, panicked breaths rasping from your dry lips.

“si,” you whisper, your voice broken from a building sob. “there’s someone outside my apartment.”

“what?!” simon replies, his own exhaustion morphing into concern. “do you see them from your room? are you safe?”

“yes,” you murmur, afraid to speak any louder. “i-i don’t know where you are right now but i saw them from my peephole and- si, i’m scared.”

there is an unusual pause on the other line, something you don’t expect from simon, before hearing him breathe in deeply and exhale with a trembling laugh.

“shit, baby,” he says, his voice racked with mirth. “fuck, this is on me but, uh, that’s me that you saw.”

…what?

“what?” you repeat out loud.

“what you might’ve seen is my helmet. remember how i customized it with a skull design?” he clarifies, still sounding so fond before a muffled thumping echoes from his line. then, “i removed my helmet so if you want to check again, you’d see it’s me.”

you nibble on your bottom lip, feeling your heart begin to calm down. “y’promise?”

“on my life, baby.”

that’s all you needed before tiptoeing back to your door, hearing the way simon is still murmuring soft assurances of your safety, and peering through the peephole. you see simon – mussed up hair and exhausted eyes, but that’s simon alright.

you fling your door open, forgetting that you were in a call with him, and instantly dive into his arms. simon catches you with a quiet oof before fixing his arms around you properly.

“shh,” simon whispers, pressing kisses on the top of your head. “i’m home now. y’r safe.”

“m’sorry,” you sniff, embarrassment filling you up now as the panic completely bleeds away.

simon chuckles before pinching your chin to make you look at him. he smiles at you softly when you finally meet his eyes. “nothin’ to be sorry for, baby. i’m proud of you for going to safety and telling me right away.” he kisses your forehead. “you did good, sweetheart.”

he cuddles you as you two sleep and tomorrow morning, he shows you his helmet.

he pulls you to his lap, resting his chin on your shoulder as he points at the engraving, telling you about the multiple trial-and-error helmets he’s gone through until he’s finally found the one that he truly liked.

“mm, it’s pretty,” you say, pretending last night didn’t happen

simon kisses your neck. “i’m glad y’like it.”

your lips wobble at the realization that simon is also down to pretend with you.

you shift on his lap and pepper his face with kisses, humming in delight when warm palms cup your ass to push you closer towards him.

(simon doesn’t tell johnny but johnny knows anyway. he drops beside you with a crooked grin, his shoulder bumping yours.

“so you finally saw the helmet?” he asks.

you nod, ignoring the sudden warmth of embarrassment that fills your cheeks. johnny laughs.

“scary, huh?”

“yup,” you say, popping the ‘p’.

he hums, shaking his head. “made me almost piss my pants, lass. y’r not alone.”

that punches a laughter out of you.)

i live for johnny n reader friendship <333

also ignore how long-ish this turned out again 😭 my fingers truly slipped

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episode 19, The Sadida Kingdom)

NOTE: This is the thing I've been looking forward to the entire rewatch. I'm not sorry for my insanity. This entire blog has been built on my insanity.

This translation error in the fansub is the source of the mistaken belief that Amalia's father's name is Oakheart btw. Though it is a nice name.

Two days prior is when The Horror started...

Sadida also have their own Boufbowl tournaments... Big day for Joris hobby lore.

I'M INSANE. I have waited for ages to get here, and I will not be leaving until I have multiple paragraphs of insane things to say:

They have been arguing for a bit of time at this point. Joris does not sound happy about this conversation. Armand also doesn't sound happy about this conversation.

Armand is probably high on his "I am acting in the stead of my father, so you will tell me everything that you need to tell him" supply. Joris is so fucking desperate for Armand to act normal. He doesn't want to be here either. He doesn't need to be arguing with a 17ish year old prince with daddy issues on a weekday.

All of this to say: This level of politeness from Joris always screams to me "I'm so fucking mad right now."

The way he uses the same words, "allow me", almost reads a bit ironic, or like a thinly veiled show of disregard.

Him repeating the information that we as the audience already knew to Joris — which Joris probably also knows, judging from the fact that they have been talking for at least a little bit, — seems less like exposition, and more like Armand treating Joris like an idiot who just won't get it. A power struggle is happening here.

And while it isn't a part of the subs, I can hear him say "my father, the king" which is, in my opinion, yet another little element of psychological warfare going on here.

Basically, he uses a lot of thinly veiled little jabs to establish himself as The Leader.

...He really is high on his own supply.

The mention of the Master of Bonta is interesting. Joris is not just under the King's direct command, — he is also a messenger for other people in the Bontarian government. Perhaps the master in question is connected to the Huppermages?

His exasperated tone here is so customer service-core. Which wouldn't be that funny if we didn't know he also works customer service.

Also, the dramatic "Alas!"... That he definitely added just to seem less rude. While cutting off Armand's last word, as if he was waiting for him to shut the fuck up. Before looking up at him at the end.

The way he's so fucking rude is just so jaw dropping.

"I have an important secret message", "come back later. FUCKASS."

Joris's first instinct whenever things go bad is to go political incident mode and political incident all over the place.

But to be more serious: I think after 600 years of witnessing wars and murder, Joris's mind would go in that direction after seeing Armand's behaviour.

Joris just doesn't know Armand well enough to know that he would not do that, and that he loves his father. It's quite prudent of Joris to get sneaky.

And even if he didn't think of this — you have seen my headcanon for what I think Joris wanted to tell the king (soft oak and that weird xelor that keeps ravaging places). It concerns the safety of the country. And just like Amalia and Eva, I doubt Joris would want Armand to be the one taking care of this.

[guy who made an entire blog thats 33% literally just talking about doomed siblings] I don't know why I like Armand and Amalia's relationship so much. I think I hauve covid. It's just that imagine you were a kid, and your father — who is so, so very powerful, who is the leader of your people, liked your sibling more. And your sibling had this fortunate life, and you were always in the shadow, and people thought you're mean and furless and bal— [I am electrecuted]

Joris behind the columns, trying to stop himself from screaming or trying to actually kill Armand:

I hope he dies. <- I said, before remembering.

If I was forced to work in Joris's sphere, I would literally just end my life instead. The things he subjects himself to...

On the topic of subjecting himself to things, I really think that Joris came so late because:

He was sneaking around like a silly little gumshoe (he was spying on a foreign government),

He needed a break after talking to Armand. <3 Who doesn't

He hoped that this situation wouldn't end so disastrously. Like maybe Armand would get hit a little bit... Just a tinyyy bit. But no. It's worse. Multiple people are down.

He looks so fucking unimpressed with Armand's words here. I can't do this anymore. He hates this shitty teenager.

Magical powers activate! [hits you with a tree stump 16 times until you lose consciousness]

I don't even know what to say besides the fact that the things he subjects himself to (having to defend and talk to royalty who don't even take him seriously and insult him the whole time) are literally unspeakably insane. Could never be me.

He has a lot of anger within him, and for legal reasons, it cannot be expressed.

[fuck-customers]

My store has a VERY lenient return policy.

(Personally, I think it's TOO lenient.)

The policy is:

•return WITH receipt= full refund, refund goes back on original form of payment, except for debit. Returns that were paid debit get cash refunds.

•return WITHOUT receipt= lowest price of item in last 90 days, store credit

•opened packages are returnable

•used products are returnable (this one has some restrictions, but not really. Cashiers are only "supposed" to accept returns if the item is still sellable, but most cashiers don't inspect the items and if a cashier deems the product unsellable, the customer bitches to the manager who licks their entire ass and does a full refund for them)

•seasonal products are returnable even after season has ended (Christmas items can be returned all year, same with Easter, Halloween, etc)

•there is seemingly no restrictions on how soon a customer has to return an item. Just 2 weeks ago (March 2024) I had a customer bring in products and a receipt from 2019 and the system accepted it. It had been so long that we literally got a whole new register system in between the original purchase and the return and it STILL went through.

What the store DOESN'T accept for returns:

• Products from other companies?? Hello??

This woman brought in a bag from a completely different company (the logos aren't similar and the colors are completely different. Red and blue compared to green and white) And at first, I thought she just recycled the bag, but she pulled out a receipt from the red and blue store and an item that I'm 100% positive was never sold at my company and wouldn't listen when I repeatedly explained that I COULD NOT refund an item we have never sold. I scanned the item on the register and showed her the error message that said "item not in inventory" I showed her that the item was in fact on her receipt from Red And Blue Store and showed her the big ass Red And Blue Store label on the receipt. I fucking called a manager over because she insisted and was adamant that she bought the item here. The MANAGER said the same fucking thing about the receipt and item being from a completely different company. 20 minutes later, she finally fucking gave up and accepted that she couldn't scam us today.

Which. It's SO easy to scam this store. Just steal an item. We do not have security. We have security cameras, but I suspect they don't work, since no one has been banned for shoplifting or anything and I KNOW people shoplift. (I support it and look the other way) We do not have enough staff to patrol the store, so the only staff members are 1 cashier and 1 department monitor and as long as you don't blatantly steal in front of the cashier, you're good. We do not have sensors on the door. 90% of the products are not locked up. Basically just don't steal spray paint, because that's the one thing that's locked up. And if you DO steal, just be cool about it and don't draw attention to yourself. We do not check bags or pockets or anything like that. And if you panic and run, just don't stop running until you're outside of the building. We are not allowed to chase you outside of the building.

And if you manage to get through these unbelievably easy obstacles and steal some items, you can just fucking bring them back and say you lost your receipt but want to return them and you will literally get free money. Sure, it's a gift card, but if the return is under $5, you get cash. Green Crafts and Fabric Store fyi for anyone who wants some free shit.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[cherrysoojins]

८ bewitched , ateez laufey songs .

✉️. one of eight, choi jongho. valentine.

jongho sucked at expressing his emotions and refused to allow himself to fall in love because of that. but on valentine’s day with you, that all changes

&ㅤㅤ 📦 ♡ warnings. sfw, fluff, suited for all ages, not proofread ( might have spelling errors ), let me know if any other warnings that should be added !

choi jongho was not the best at expressing himself. he was even worse at getting his feelings in order and saying them out loud.

for years, choi jongho has rejected affection. not because he didn’t want to experience the meaning of love and such, but because he genuinely sucked at showing his emotions and was scared that would prevent him from getting involved with anyone romantically. in his mind it’s just like, who would want a boyfriend who can’t properly say “i love you” or hug and kiss you spontaneously like other normal boyfriends do?

so instead of him getting rejected by others for his lack of expression, he chose to reject himself of receiving it and he had been simply content with the choice. neither happy nor upset at the choice, just meh– like he didn’t really care because he didn’t. he was perfectly content being single, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to experience something.

and with his contentedness in his life, it threw him in for a loop when the pretty barista near his campus started taking an interest in him– which was you. consistently writing his name wrong on the cups of coffees he orders just to see a small smile take over his face when he sees the flirty message you write on it, taking his order and then leaning over the counter in an overly flirty manner to talk to him while another coworker makes his coffee via your demand because you wanted to have a small conversation with him before another customer came in and made him move away from you.

when you started hitting on jongho, he started to realize how uncontent he was starting to become with being single. not just that, he started hating the thought that he wasn’t making a move on you, the pretty girl who makes all the moves because jongho simply just can’t do that for god knows what reason.

and when valentines day came, he knew he was utterly screwed. unable to bring himself to buy you flowers or chocolates to give you when he went to go visit the coffee shop you work at, he was so mad at himself. why was being so affectionate so hard for him? why can’t he display his emotions like a normal person? why did it feel like everything was so against him in some ways?

“hi,” your sweet voice rang out the second he entered the coffee shop with a little ding from the bell announcing his entrance. jongho looked up from his phone, a small smile etching onto his face that was hardly noticeable.

“hey.” he responded casually, looking around the surprisingly empty cafe as jongho approached the counter that you leaned on with a cheeky smile on your cheeks as you looked at him.

“happy valentines day.” you told him, lifting a hand up to tap his order onto the register.

jongho suddenly felt mad at himself again. the second he saw you when he walked into the coffee shop, all his worries lifted and it seemed as though a weight was taken off his shoulders. but now you, unintentionally, reminded him how upset he was about himself on this specific day, all the bad thoughts flooding in again about how he was such an emotionless bastard and how he hated himself just a little bit for not being how he wants to be.

and somehow, like always, you caught up on it. even if jongho looked as stoic as he always did, you could read him like and open book, just like you could to everyone else. it slowly became something he admired about you. it was one of the things he fell in love with.

“your coffee is on the house. that’s my first gift,” you said, moving to the side as he broke from his thoughts and stared at you, eyes widening.

“no, i can pay. i don’t want you to get in trouble–”

“i’ll be fine.” shutting him down, you squatted behind the counter, grabbing a big red bag that had ‘valentine’ on it, pushing it towards him on the counter with a big smile on your lips, a light blush taking over your cheeks before you turned to start working on his coffee.

jongho looked at the bag, his body slightly frozen in shock.

this was the first time he ever got a valentine’s day gift.

“what–” he started.

“that’s my second gift to you.” you cut him off once again, back facing him as you busied yourself with making his usual coffee, a smile stitched onto your face as excitement blossomed through your body, a warm feeling taking over your heart. “open it.”

jongho stood silent for a moment longer, gulping before he lifted his hands to open the bag slightly. chocolates and a bouquet of flowers that the bag was big enough to hide laid inside, his eyes shooting wide open once again.

you turned around, his coffee in hand as you looked at him, putting the coffee on the counter beside the bag he was still staring into.

“do you like it?” you asked him, your hands grabbing a sharpie in a little dainty cup near the cash register, lifting his coffee up to start scribbling on it. instead of a random name, you wrote his actual name in the correct way this time, a little heart next to it. instead of a random little flirty message, you wrote your number this time.

when you put the cup back down next to him, he finally looked up at you. he looked sad, the first emotion that anyone would be able to see from a mile away. it wasn’t like his usual hidden expressions, it was as clear as day how he was feeling.

“i… didn’t get you anything…” he said lowly, looking back down at the bag and clenching the sides in his grasp, your gift only fuelling the disappointment he felt within himself.

“you don’t need to.” you immediately responded to him, causing him to shoot his head to look at you again.

“i don’t need a gift from you, jongho.” you told him, your head tilting to the side with that sweet smile on your face once again. the same smile that kept his heart fluttering in his chest when he either saw it or imagined it.

you raised the cup of coffee up, pointing your finger at your number written on it.

“all i need you to do is text this number, okay?” the meaning behind your words were simple. you didn’t need a gift from him or anything. he didn’t need to show you affection, or hug and kiss you spontaneously whenever he saw you. you didn’t need that from him.

being with him despite his lack of expression, lack of affection and conversation skills, being with him like this in the coffee shop or even through text, that’s all you need. just him, being him.

choi jongho was not the best at expressing himself. he stopped himself from falling in love or receiving it because he figured nobody would want him if he was like that.

but he blinked, and suddenly he had a valentine.

full bewitched series masterlist !

send and ask or a pm to be added to the bewitched tag list !

[kaneshir-o]

❝ 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 ❞

❥ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: phone & social media headcanons

ᡣ𐭩 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: hermes, ares, adam

ᝰ.ᐟ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: first time writing snv!

hermes

he owns an iphone, completely in love with its aesthetics and simple interface in comparison to android. he doesn’t care much for customization outside of his wallpapers and phone case, which is a simple black case.

hermes’ grammar and punctuation is always perfect; he very seldom sends a message with an error in it. however, he has an awful usage of emojis. he will be texting about ares harming himself accidentally and end the message with the crying laughing emoji — whether this is intentional or not is still up for debate.

in regards to social media, hermes is somehow always on. the minute you send a message, you’ll see the typing bubbles instantaneously. if you post something at a late hour, he is the first to comment. nobody knows how he manages to be such a quick responder, but at least it can be reliable in emergencies.

his most used app is, of course, the calendar app. he has reminders for anything and everything if it involves himself. he takes his organization very seriously!

nobody is allowed near his gallery, ever.

ares

upon hermes’ recommendation, ares also has an iphone, but it’s an older model and his screen protector has some cracks in it. none of his apps are grouped on his homescreen, quite a few apps aren’t updated to the latest versions, and he doesn’t understand how to setup the cloud.

however, ares does know how to use the fitness app. in fact, it’s the only app he knows how to use properly. he owns a fitbit and will always make sure it’s charged and synced with his fitness and health apps before starting his day.

whenever you receive a message from ares, it will always be in full caps. you’re not sure if he somehow turned on a setting to make his keyboard stay in caps lock, or if he does it on purpose; all that’s for sure is that he is very loud in his messages! but he is polite, still.

ares likes the concept of social media, but he’s not very good at curating his space and has ended up with am instagram discovery page full of history facts and side hustle scams. his profile, though, is full of photos of his morning jogs and time spent in the gym.

he has a lot of followers because of his muscles and mirror selfies, but he doesn’t know how to make his page private for friends and family.

adam

adam has an android, but only because he had to pick a phone and he didn’t really have a preference on what he used; he just wanted to be reachable to his family. he doesn’t have a case on his phone, but manages to keep it safe from being dropped.

his favorite app is facebook! the intimate aspect of it appealed to him, and he is always able to flaunt his familial status with the about page — he likes listing his wife and kids on his page. he makes sure that the first thing you see when going to his profile is that he’s married with kids.

he really needs help with taking photos, though. adam doesn’t realize that after you hit the button you have to stay still while the photo is processed, so his pictures always come out blurry with major lens flare. (don’t worry, eve takes much better pictures than him.)

his typing style is very similar to his personality — very chill! adam only types in lowercase, but he will use proper punctuation, too; he also likes the classic way of emoting, with colons and parentheses! he doesn’t use modern emojis because he doesn’t know how to get to that screen from his keyboard, but he makes do.

[zeggyzone]

off-air | isekko

iso/gekko (valorant) tags: love confessions, domestic fluff, feelings realization, snuggling & cuddling, might be ooc, cross-posted on ao3

synopsis: while iso is trying to blow off some steam after a stressful day, gekko texts him. fifteen minutes later, he's in his best friend's room on wash day. bonding ensues.

sfw. 5.1k words.

notes: - most of this was written at 3-5 am, so if you see any grammatical errors, *no you didn't.* - iso and gekko have a pre-existing friendship; a close one at that! they have platonically held hands, hugged, all of that while trying to break iso out of his shell :) - sorry if it's out of character - i also wrote this while listening to iso and gekko's canonical spotify playlists, along with the isekko playlist made by lili on spotify! - the name of this fic in my documents is "The Oneshot Where Iso and Gekko Confess Over A Bathtub On A Random Tuesday" hahaha

STOKYO DRIFT, Cemetary Drive I said I’m ready to cash out I said I’m ready to– I said I’m ready to– I said I’m ready to–

Iso exhales.

Just a round at the Range. It’s that simple. Blow off some steam, Zhao Yu.

It’s that simple. No strings attached. It was just him, his Raging Hunter (which he customized with the help of Raze just a while back– she helped everyone with it at one point, and Iso was on her supposed list of clientele), and a bunch of robot dummies.

Truth be told, Iso didn’t even know why he was here. In recent meetings with Sage, he found himself sitting across from her in her own bed, talking about the nightmares he experiences on the daily. The gunfire, the blood, the flashes of violet.

Especially the gunfire.

Yet here he was, Raging Hunter in his hand, doing the one thing he knows how to do in a last-ditch effort to calm himself down. He pulls back the hammer with his thumb, exhaling as he flicks his arm towards the ‘start’ button, squeezing the trigger ever so slightly–

Bzzt.

What.

Iso tries to ignore the buzzing in his front pocket, gently vibrating against his side. He steadies his aim, but it buzzes again, and he sighs, holstering his Raging Hunter, and pulling out his phone.

SECURE SERVER_VAL.VP // PRIVATE MESSAGE: GEKKO-ISO

GEKKO [15:41 UTC]

yo yo yo can u help me clean wings ?

Iso blinks.

You have to send five back-to-back texts to get that point across?

ISO [15:42 UTC]

Why so sudden ?

GEKKO [15:42 UTC]

yk how he gets and he likes u Hes fussing so fuckin bad rn holy shit

[SYSTEM] Gekko sent an image. [A 0.5x photo. Gekko looks disgruntled at the camera. He’s in a black shirt, and you can see Wingman crawling out of the tub.]

Iso almost laughs.

ISO [15:42 UTC]

Let me clean up. Ill be there in 15

GEKKO [15:43 UTC]

THANK YOU DUDE I was going actually crazy you are like a life saver

ISO [15:42 UTC]

👍

Thumbs-up? Thumbs-up?

Holy shit.

Iso unholsters his sidearm, putting on the safety as he makes his way to the teleporter, walking through it with a shudder (he’ll never get used to it) and making another healthy stride toward the locker room. He passes Omen’s desk, glancing at his bonsai tree left with a refilled watering can as he puts four of his fingers on the handle, the fingerprint scanner whirring and clicking the locker open with a little green light. Iso puts away his gun in the tiny mold left in the back part of the locker.

On the little hanger for his mission outfit, he has a woven bracelet Gekko made him a few weeks prior; red, purple, white, and black in nature. He took it off before training. It means quite a bit to him, and he would hate to mess it up.

He goes to close his locker, looking at it for a moment, hesitating, then closing it.

He was going to help bathe Wingman– he doesn’t want to get it dirty.

Iso’s sneakers pitter against the floor, narrow steps suddenly growing heavy as he approached Gekko’s door. He knocks, putting his hands in his pockets immediately after.

Gekko doesn’t seem to notice, as Iso hears small Spanish curse words leave his lips behind the muffled door. Iso shrugs, pushing the sliding door open with a small huff. He closes it behind him and walks towards Gekko’s bathroom door, generously left open for his incoming guest.

The sight is comedic. Wingman is hurdled over his owner’s shoulder, trying to squirm his way out of Gekko’s grip, both hands reaching outward like a baby trying to reach something. Gekko has his hands on Wingman’s chubby jelly sides, holding him back with an iron grip. Wingman suddenly falls limp at the sight of Iso, except for the grabby hands that continue. Gekko turns around, confused.

“Oh, shit, you’re here.” His eyes widen, letting go of Wingman. He hops down to climb Iso like a jungle gym, and Iso picks him up before his pants get any soap on them, walking over to the tub once again, and placing Wingman in.

“Let me take off my jacket. I can’t really help with all this stuff on–” Iso says, turning on his heel. Gekko gives him an acknowledging ‘aight’ and very gently scolds Wingman to stay.

Iso walks to Gekko’s bed (his radivore sling was notably discarded on the bed— a pair of eyes look at him) tugging his hoodie over his head. He neatly lies it on the end of Gekko’s bed, having done so quite a few times before (Gekko often called Iso up for a friendly hangout that consisted of Iso knocking out a few hours into their gaming sessions). He looks at the gloves on his hands, removing them with the tiniest bit of clamminess.

He feels weird without them.

He tucks them into the pockets of the hoodie, sliding over to Gekko’s post, and kneeling on the bathmat. Wingman looks up at Iso expectantly. “I’ve never… washed a radivore before.”

“All good. It’s pretty damn simple if you ask me. Just lather the little guy up with some soap until he’s extra squeaky clean. It’s the same for the rest of my crew.” Gekko explains, handing Iso the soap along with a little glove with bristles. Gekko has one on his non-dominant hand. “And you literally can’t mess this up. Bro loves you.”

Iso nods, taking it. “Pfft, I hope so,” he responds, feeling the warm water against his one bare hand.

He’s not particularly used to having his gloves off. Sure, he takes them off when he has to, but otherwise, they stay on. He feels practically naked without them. The same goes for his headphones. His little earbuds are in his ears, playing music low enough to the point where he can still understand what Gekko is saying.

UBER EATS, Northside Hollow & Ethan Ross

Gekko watches as Iso puts on the glove. He places his bare hand to hold Wingman gently as Iso puts a generous amount of soap on the garment, lathering it on Wingman’s jelly head. He watches attentively, folding his arms on the edge of the bathtub to rest his head in. Gekko takes in the sight in front of him; Iso, in his bathroom, washing his little buddy with all of the benignity in the world.

Iso glances toward Gekko, a small huff leaving his lips, “So you called me here to do your dirty work for you?”

“No, I called you here to be Wingman’s .. uhh, social … buffer. He likes you. I’m using my resources to my advantage! Boom.” Gekko moves his hands to the best of his ability despite resting on them– his animated self refuses to go unseen even in a moment of exhaustion. “He’s been fussy all day,” Gekko reaches his gloved hand to lather some soap on the radivore’s back, “but the second you show up,” a short breath, “se convierte en un angelito.”

Iso understood ‘convierte’ and ‘angelito’ when placed together. He assumed from context clues… “He turns into an angel.”

He stifles a laugh.

…

“Hey,”

Gekko blinks, “What’s good?”

“I’ve been wanting to ask–” he keeps his gaze on Wingman, but he can feel Gekko staring him down, “–we never exchanged names. Of course, we have our callsigns, but … that’s different. I just feel since we’ve been hanging out so often we should refer to each other as something more … uh, friendlier than … Gekko. Or Iso.”

“Oh?” Gekko furrows his brows, running his bare hand through his prickly green hair, “Damn, you’re right,”

It was… odd, admittedly, but, when he really thought about it, Iso was right. How many weeks has it been? Hell, it’s probably been a bit more than a few months. He’s been hanging out with this guy almost non-stop and yet, they don’t know each other’s actual names.

Iso knocks him free from his thoughts. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, I’m so down. Just, how do we like, go about this? Like… yo, man, my name is blah, blah, blah.”

 Iso offers a playful smile, “Rock, paper, scissors for it?” he asks, swatting his bare hand in the air to remove excess droplets, drying it to the best of his ability. “If I lose, I go first. And vice versa.” He holds his fist out to indicate the beginning of the game.

Gekko laughs, a small grin on his face as he puts his fist up. “Oh, you’re on.”

“Aight– rock, paper, scissors, shoot–!”

Iso plays paper.

Gekko plays scissors. “Tough luck.”

Iso lets out a small laugh, returning to washing Wingman. He keeps his gaze on the radivore, feeling Gekko’s eyes burn into him like fire.

“My full name is Li Zhao Yu.” Iso makes sure to accentuate every letter.

“Li … Zhao Yu,” Gekko repeats it back to him, getting a few of the syllables wrong, but Iso is quick to correct him— gently, of course.

“Shit, that’s cool. So, it’d be just Zhao Yu, right?” He asks after the mild training, lifting his head up from the side of the tub, holding himself up by his chin.

“Yeah, basically.” Iso shrugs, returning to washing Wingman.

“Yo, could I mash those together? I think that’d be a pretty sick nickname,” before Iso could say anything, Gekko spits out, “Zhayu. It’s like, not even that different, but, it sounds cool as fuck, right?”

Iso looks at Gekko, eyes wide.

“I don’t have to use it if you don’t wanna—“

“No,” Iso says almost immediately, “I mean— no, I like it. I just haven’t had someone give me a nickname in— I don’t know— forever,” Iso admits with a small laugh, rinsing Wingman. “It’s nice. I like it.”

Gekko lets out the tiniest sigh of relief, “Good. I didn’t wanna like, overstep.”

Iso nods followed by a small hum of acknowledgement. “It’s your turn.”

“Oh, yeah— we doin’ full names, right?”

“Mhm.”

“Oh man,” Gekko says between a laugh, pushing himself to sit up straight. He reaches over for the towel on the counter, holding it and awaiting Iso to hold him up, clearing his throat, “My full, legal, name is Mateo Armendáriz De la Fuente.”

“… what.”

Gekko laughs even harder than last time, “Dude, that’s why I asked. It’s kind of a mouthful.” He bites back a laugh, “You can just call me Mateo.”

“Mateo … Armen—what? Woah, you’re right,” Iso says with a tiny laugh punctuating the end of his sentence, “if you think you butchered my name, I wouldn’t even know where to begin with yours.”

He then realizes the meaning behind his words, quick to defend himself, “I’m not saying your name is weird or anything— it’s just hard for me to pronounce— or uh, remember, in that sense.”

“Maybe I should just stick to Mateo.”

Gekko laughs, thankfully.

“I’ll learn your full name, trust me,” Iso says, drying off Wingman like a little baby.

“I know, man.”

“But, now that I’m looking at you… you really do strike me as a Mateo.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gekko raises a brow, a little smile on his lips.

“Oh— nothing, it just— makes sense?” Iso quickly explains, not wanting to offend.

“Dude, you’re chill. I’m just playin’.”

Iso blinks, turning back to Wingman. “One more thing,”

“Yeah?”

“Where did your crew’s names come from?” Iso asks out of the blue, holding Wingman up in the air next to his head, making him face Gekko with him.

“Honestly, most of them kinda just … came to me,” Gekko admits, not having an exact answer. “I kinda named them based on their whole ability thing—? I dunno how to explain it.”

“Dizzy has that plasma thing— and guess what! Makes people dizzy. Get it?” He shrugs, “Wingman’s kinda self-explanatory. He’s my wingman.”

“Then, uh, Thrash. She was kind of the more aggressive outta-all of them? And if we’re goin’ back to the whole ability-based-name-thing, Mosh seems pretty self-explanatory too, yeah?”

“I guess— makes more sense now,” Iso shrugs. “And that’s pretty cu—“

Cool.

“— cu-ool,” Iso catches himself, making a weird new word in trying to save himself from that embarrassment.

He quickly holds up Wingman for Gekko to dry, and lest Iso’s anticipations, Gekko doesn’t take Wingman from his hands, just running the towel on Wingman to dry him off.

Iso feels Gekko’s hands against his, hindered by the towel between them as he holds Wingman while Gekko pats him down to dry the little guy. A tiny rosyness creeps up to the round of Iso’s cheeks as he watches Gekko’s hands, hyper-aware of the fact that they would be touching if it weren’t for the towel working as a barrier.

Iso looks away, tapping his finger on Wingman as gently as he can to the beat of the song playing in his earbuds.

Gekko’s eyes flick up to Iso midway through the task, and he smiles. Gekko smiles up at Iso and he returns it without a second thought.

“Yo, you’re all red, amigo.”

No fucking way.

“Há? No, am I? I’m not, no, it’s just the light, no?” Iso sprints through his words, looking at Gekko everywhere but his eyes. He utters a curse in Chinese, tilting his head away in an effort to hide his supposed blush. “Sorry.”

backseat, jungle bobby & lentra.

“Pfft,” Gekko lets out the tiniest giggle, “It’s aight.”

Iso comes back to reality when Wingman shimmies out of his grip, running back to the harness on Gekko’s bed. He almost begs the little radivore to stay– to save him from this terrible situation. He thinks he could die.

Instead, Iso looks at the radivore harness like a broken man, and Gekko laughs even harder, forcing Iso to get up.

“I’m grabbing my hoodie.” He announces, shuffling towards the bed.

“Oh, come on– I don’t mean to tease–”

Iso rolls his eyes, falling onto Gekko’s bed, face first. He grabs his hoodie– gently pushing Gekko’s harness out of the way– now pulling the pull-over up under his chin as a pillow. 

He didn’t want to believe he was in love with his best friend, but Iso knew he was too far gone to even deny it anymore. The way Gekko laughed, the way he teased him, the jokes he made, and the considerate things he did for him, whether it be making little woven bracelets or buying him Boba whenever he went out— that was all casual, right? It had to be.

Gekko walks out– Iso doesn’t notice– and sits near the headboard, looking down at him with yet another teasing grin. It’s fucking lethal.

Then, with that smile, Iso realizes.

Of fucking course it wasn’t.

Iso averts his gaze, jaw dropped as he came to that realization.

“Relax, bro. You’re gonna pop a blood vessel.” He hears Gekko say.

Iso shoves his face into his hoodie. There’s silence until Gekko asks the burning question,

“Were you going to say that it was cute, or am I crazy?”

Iso groans. “Do we really– do we really have to talk about this now??” He says with half of his speech muffled as he finally peeks up from his hoodie, blush flaring into his pale skin.

“I mean, you’ve slipped up a lot like that before. I dunno why you’re tweakin’ right now,” Gekko shrugs.

That sentence makes Iso’s heart drop.

“I’ve what.”

Gekko looks at Iso and is met with a beautiful picture; he’s resting on his bed (his!) and his eyes are a bright violet, looking at Gekko with a wide expression. If Gekko could peer into his mind, he’d only find that Iso is so embarrassed that he might as well have been stripped bare in public– but despite all of it, he finds Iso sprawled like this endearing. It’s hilarious, even– how did Iso not notice Gekko noticing all of the little moments? The stolen glances, the lingering touches, the late-night talks– Gekko almost laughs at his obliviousness.

The silence is almost suffocating, so Gekko begins, “Zhayu,” a breath, “you’re not as slick as you think.”

Gekko looks at Iso’s hands, and they’re balled into tight fists, and when he looks into those raging violet eyes again, they’re twitching.

“And…” Iso sounds out of breath, “You never told me?!”

Gekko blinks. Then he howls.

“No! Don’t laugh–!“ Iso pushes himself up, kneeling on the bed in a position that would definitely make his feet numb later, “Gekk– Mateo. How long? And— just how many times have I slipped up like this around you?” Iso curses just a few seconds after the delivery of that sentence, running a hand through his hair, forehead moist.

Gekko sits up straight, adjusting his sitting stance into crisscrossed, looking away as he puckers his lips, drumming his hands on his thighs, “Man, you know… like… was I supposed to count?”

Iso’s eyebrows drop.

“Mateo, I will strangle you right here, right now.” Iso threatens, but his hands don’t move from his knees. Gekko looks at him with a dubious look, and Iso realizes he isn’t exactly feeding into the whole ‘fear factor’ of it. He’s quick to lift up his hands in front of him and exaggerate the motion as if he’s moving Gekko’s head back and forth like a maraca.

It’s silent.

Then, it’s enough to make Gekko fall into a giggle fit. Then, Iso gets mad that he’s not taking his threat seriously. Then, Iso is so mad that he starts laughing. Hard.

He’s hurled over on his knees, holding his stomach as he falls onto his side, just next to Gekko’s knee, and his gut hurts. His gut hurts from laughing, and Iso realizes he’s laughing with no one better than Gekko himself. Iso cough-laughs, covering his mouth. Gekko is hitting himself with his fist, smack dab in the chest to stop himself from coughing. Iso remembers the little ‘I lowkey have asthma’ and one last laugh bubbles out from his throat.

He looks at where the woven bracelet Gekko made him a few weeks ago would be and imagines it; purple, white, red, and black, all woven together to create a sense of Iso in itself.

He feels naked. Yet the mirage reminds him that he would protect it with his life.

Gekko deflates, his arms lining up behind him to keep himself steady. His head falls to where Iso’s head is, then his unusually bare wrist.

“Where’s your bracelet?” He asks, reaching over, and tapping on the little pulse point where it would be. “I thought you liked it.”

“I didn’t want to mess it up when we cleaned Wingman,” Iso breathes, his voice tired.

Gekko hums.

Iso blinks.

“You’re my best friend, you know that?” Iso says blankly, feeling Gekko’s fingers brush up against his wrist ever so slightly as he retreats them back to hold himself up. Iso’s fingers twitch with anticipation. He bites his lip softly, looking at Gekko’s surprisingly soft hands, despite them looking so rough.

Iso keeps half of his face in the sheets, left cheek squished up against the surface. He rests on the bed, getting comfortable with Gekko at his side, legs crossed and looking at him like he is a piece of valuable, fragile treasure and not the cold-hearted ‘Dead Lilac’ killer everyone made him out to be.

No, Iso corrects himself, not everyone. Me.

Iso is who makes himself out to be the Dead Lilac. He leaves that behind today; hopefully forever.

“And you’re mine, querido.” Gekko breathes, his foreign tongue slipping. Gekko registers what he said seconds later, quick to change the subject, “You look like a cat like this.”

Iso mumbles, “Querido? What does that…” But he gives up halfway through the question, mostly because he knows Gekko won’t tell him what it means. “A cat?” He instead asks, raising a brow. Gekko flicks his cheek, and he mumbles a small “ow�� as soon as the stinging feeling occurs. “I’m not going to meow if that’s what you’re asking.”

A chuckle, “That sucks.”

“Ew, you want me to meow?” Iso feigns a laugh, hiding his full face in the sheets to muffle the tiny effervesce, before coming back to look up at Gekko. “You’re so weird, Mateo.”

“Hater.”

Iso sticks his tongue out, lifting his right arm to flick Gekko’s nose.

“Ow.”

Then it’s quiet. Iso hates quiet.

“Teo. I want to ask you something.”

supernova, Godly the Ruler.

Gekko feels like he knows what’s coming. “Ask away.”

“Have you ever thought about …” Iso pauses, looking away to regain some of the composure that he lost as he began the sentence, “Have you ever thought about us? And what we are?” Iso exhales, unaware he is holding his breath. “Because I don’t know what we are at this very moment.”

Iso had avoided eye contact for so long. He brings himself to look at Gekko, and he looks at him the second the look in his best friend’s eyes alters.

“I have.” A deep breath, “Many times.”

“What do you think about? What are we?” Iso asks.

He quickly adds to the end, “To you?”

“I…” Gekko purses his lips, “Well, right now. We’re just homies, yeah?”

“At the moment … I’d say so.”

Iso looks at where the bracelet would be— a fond reminder of their camaraderie. Then he looks into Gekko’s eyes and finds the same unreadable look. He looks at Iso’s wrist with such fondness. Happiness. Content. A secret fourth thing. Iso finds comfort in it.

“What about everything else you’ve thought of?”

“You really wanna know?”

“Do you want to tell me?” Iso asks, avoiding Gekko’s gaze, and he realizes that their two hands are almost grazing— holding each other. Iso’s hand twitches again. “If so, yes.”

“Pfft,” Iso swears he sees a mischievous glint in Gekko’s eyes, “Least serious… uuh…”

“I’ve thought of kissing you.”

Iso’s face distorts, pursing his lips as he shoots up from his lying position. “Least serious?! That’s the most uncasual thing I can think of!” He almost shouts out of pure shock. He’s not angry, just confused.

Gekko belly laughs, his hand smacking onto his stomach to support himself, “I’m playin’! There’s stuff before that, tonto.”

Iso wants to smack him for messing with him like that. That thought is wiped when he sees the red against Gekko’s ears and he’s done for. Smitten.

“And… compared to other shit, I think that’s pretty tame.”

…

“You’re so gross.” Iso blurts out.

“What? You wanted the truth, so you got the truth,” Gekko holds his hands up in defense before falling next to him again, “and to give you the whole truth, if I were to tell you what I’m thinking now, it’d be... that… ay…” Gekko’s right hand returns to his face, covering his mouth and trailing down his jaw, “maybe there have been times I’ve thought about us– and not as what we said we were a few minutes ago.”

Iso understands those connotations. He looks in the middle of their laps, almost touching. He exhales.

“I would say that the thought is mutual.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” A pause, “... Yes.”

“Mateo, I—“ Iso purses his lips. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“You welcomed me. Open arms. I don’t know if you… if you knew, but, you invited me anyway. I didn’t know if you were just like that with everyone, but– either way, you– you are just… perfect. I got to know you and I was like, how could anyone ever hate this guy? You’re everything, you’re all that there is right, and, wǒ qù, I can’t even fucking describe–” 

It’s hot. Then Iso realizes why.

Gekko leans in, pressing their lips together in a tender, soft embrace. Iso’s lips are the tiniest bit chapped against Gekko’s fairly soft ones, and he eats it all up. He relishes the feeling of his lips on Gekko’s— his best friend.

He stays like that for a hot minute, pulling away and looking at Gekko like a lost kitty who had found homage in him. He catches his breath.

“... I didn’t know how to shut you up–”

“Oh my God.” Iso smacks Gekko’s shoulder and in return, he pokes him in the side.

Iso jolts, letting out a quiet yelp— one that’s a bit out of character for his assassin background.

Then Gekko has a devious look on his face.

Was the fabled ‘Dead Lilac’ … ticklish?

Iso quickly covers his mouth in embarrassment, grip tightening as he realizes the noise he just let out. He looks at Gekko.

“No way.”

“No. It wasn’t anything. That wasn’t me, it was … Thrash—“ Iso quickly tries to back himself up, hand slipping from his mouth and immediately going to cover his sides as a last defense.

“Uh-huh. And where is Thrash?” He asks, nudging his head towards his harness as his hand reaches over to an exposed part of Iso’s side.

“Mateo!” Iso quickly scrambles away, rolling over to the other side of the bed, getting on his knees, and holding his left arm in front of him, creating distance between them as his right arm wraps around his own waist, trying to protect himself from an impending tickle attack.

“I will wrestle you on this bed and win.”

“I have little siblings and cousins. Fuckin’ bring it.”

And then he pounces.

The tickle match is full of empty threats, foreign curses, and lots of giggles. Too many. There was a cackle here and there, maybe even a snort. By the time it ended, Gekko fell from his place on top of Iso, lying next to him with a few laughter-filled coughs. Iso catches his breath.

“Mateo,”

A breathless “Yeah?”

“I wanna be your boyfriend.”

Iso’s headphones die.

A deep breath, “Can I?”

Iso stares at the ceiling. He notices Gekko is, too.

It’s quiet. So fucking quiet.

But Iso can handle it now.

Gekko is next to him, their arms are touching, and the silence isn't deafening for once. He feels the energy in the room and it doesn’t suffocate him, if anything, he’s breathing better.

“Yeah. I think I’d like that.”

Iso turns on his side. Gekko faces him.

Iso’s tired expression shifts into a happy, close-eyed smile as he tackles Gekko into a bear hug, invariably pushing him down onto the bed, putting his full body weight onto the poor guy, hugging him tightly. “Thank you.”

Gekko let out an involuntary gasp as Iso suddenly tackled him down onto the bed, nearly winding him as felt Iso’s full weight. He laughed softly, the air knocked out of him as he lay there under, returning the hug with equal enthusiasm, wrapping his arms around Iso and holding him tightly against his chest.

“Yeah, mi corazón,” he said softly, “Thank you.”

“Corazón,” Iso exhales against Gekko’s neck, pushing himself off from the top, “what does that mean?” He asks, breathing against Gekko’s chest, cheek squished against it. He holds him softer now, breathing in Gekko’s cologne.

“My heart,” Gekko says, a careful hand running up Iso’s clothed back, drawing small circles, “you are my heart, Zhao Yu.”

“If I am your heart,” he feels Gekko’s heartbeat against his cheek, “then, you are my treasure,” Iso smiles, “bǎo bèi.”

“Bǎo bèi…” he repeats sleepily, “mi tesoro.” Gekko breathes.

“I love it when you speak Spanish, Teo.” Iso says, nickname rolling off his tongue tiredly. “I don’t understand it, but it’s…” a huff, “nice.”

Gekko has a feeling he wanted to say something else, “Yeah?”

Iso realizes he’s fucking done for (again), “¿Te gusta cuando hablo español, mi tesoro?”

“Augh, stop it,” Iso rolls his eyes, pushing Gekko’s face back by his chin, looking away, laughing just a little bit. “You’re such a tease, sha bī.”

“Aww, is that another cute nickname?”

“No. I called you an idiot.”

“Oh. Chúpamela.” Gekko deadpans, flicking Iso’s forehead with little to no remorse.

Iso laughs and realizes that this is all he has ever wanted. This was bliss, and Iso has felt this way for as long as he was in Gekko’s presence. He moves ever so slightly, just so he can smell Gekko’s cologne, and his new boyfriend allows it. It smells of lemon zest with the faint undertones of green apple and vanilla. Iso swears that he can smell the tiniest bit of cedarwood. That combination with Gekko’s personal musk makes him dizzy. (Pun intended)

“You smell good.”

“You like my cologne? I wanted to try a new one.” Gekko says breathily, drumming the pads of his fingers on Iso’s back in a rhythmic pattern.

“I know. You smelled different.” Iso mumbles, inhaling. “I like this one better, though. The other one was too…” He thinks of a descriptor, “Smoky.”

“I used to layer two colognes,” Gekko admits, “The footnotes on it were tobacco, vanilla, then uhh… truffle, I think.”

“Too smoky.”

“It was a gift from Brimstone. I felt kinda bad,” He mumbled, “I’d feel better if he taught me how the hell he got his score so high in the video games in the basement.”

“You’re still trying to beat it?”

“Yeah.”

“… wait, you noticed that I changed my cologne?” Gekko blinks, looking down at Iso, who looks up to him bashfully.

“Maybe,” he exhales, adjusting his position to face away from Gekko, “it’s a very discernible smell— anyone would notice.”

“Sure.”

Gekko slightly spoons Iso, resting his head atop his, breathing in. “Damn, your hair smells like…” he thinks, “Tangerines?” he says with a slight hint of confusion in his voice.

“It’s just my shampoo,” Iso hums, shifting himself to tilt his head up at Gekko, “I like tangerines.”

“Me too,” Gekko says.

Quietly, Iso asks, “We just gonna stay like this?”

“What time is it?”

Iso looks at the alarm clock to the side. Before he can speak, his stomach grumbles, which prompts Gekko to ask instead, “Have you eaten?”

“I had breakfast.”

“You need to eat.”

Iso exhales knowing there’s no stopping Gekko– he’s already getting up and Iso follows that action. It’s quick, it’s swift, and his new boyfriend grabs his wrist and pulls him up onto his feet, intertwining their hands. They’ve held hands before– you know, in cases where Gekko is dragging him through a crowd at a festival or Iso has to pull him away from getting distracted while the agents go shopping. But this was different. The old Iso would probably tug his hand away, but the new Iso is comforted by this scenario– better yet, he seeks it. He never wants to let go of it and he doesn’t think he ever will. Gekko’s touch is grounding and Iso feels his mind go quiet as their fingers interlace. His free hand comes to remove his headphones and awkwardly puts them in the case, shoving his hand into his pocket.

“Alright.”

He’s gotten used to this.

hope you enjoyed! it's my second valorant fic i've written, so hopefully i did them justice.

here's my twitter! check it out please i need moots (not just valorant) LMAO

[piastrinorris]

Happy to Help

Pairing: Keys x f!Reader Genre: smut (18+, minors DNI) Word count: 3.7k Summary: Forgetting you'd spoken to customer support from your favourite game leads to something getting sent to the wrong person. A/N: Listen, I know there's a set-up for potentially more. I would like to write potentially more. But nothing puts a writer off more than demands for a part 2, okay? For now, enjoy my first ever Keys fic. :)

Welcome to Free City Customer Support. We appreciate your patience. Connecting you to a member of our team…

Keys: Hi there! What seems to be the problem today?

You: hi, my screen is like. frozen dead. can't do anything, can't click anything. can't alt-tab out, can't ctrl-alt-delete. but i made a lot of progress between save points and idk if it can still be salvaged

Keys: Oof, yeah, that's the worst. Hopefully we can get you back up and running. Real quick, are you sure it's not your internet? I mean, you seem like you know your way around a computer, just worth double-checking, if it's your network then there's not a lot I can do.

You: yeah, sorry, should have added that. everything else that connects to my internet is working. i have an error message if that helps?

Keys: Yes! That's amazing! Can you send me it, please?

You: it says "error 72816: attempting patch repair"

You: there was a spinning buffering wheel in the corner but it gave up the ghost about twenty minutes ago.

Keys: Interesting. I don't remember making that error message, let alone what would trigger it. Are you sure that's what it says? No typos?

You: you wound me.

You: jk jk sorry this is a Very Professional Customer Support Exchange. no, definitely no typos.

Keys: Hahaha, don't worry, I've read far worse messages from people today, that made me laugh!

Keys: This is a little unorthodox but I'm wracking my brain here and I can't think of another solution. If I give you my work phone number, would you text me a photo of your screen?

Keys: Usually, I'd ask for an email of a screenshot, but, well…

You: yeah sure, whatever gets me out of this purgatory.

Keys: Super appreciate your patience here. My number is: 

Keys: [redacted]

Keys: Okay, got it, deleted the message with my number so it won't show up in chat history, in case you're wondering. Data protection and all.

You: the professional techie guy with the techie-ass nickname being cautious about cyber security? groundbreaking.

Keys: Haha! You got me there!

Keys: Oh! Wait! Are you registered as a beta tester?

You: no?? i didn't know that was a thing??

Keys: Yeah, all ours are internal and I don't recognise your username in our database, now that I've pulled it up. I think you must have just slipped through the cracks, let me look into the code of our new test area and see if I can boot you back out.

You: ooh, are you gonna come bursting in through my door with a swat team to erase my memory, too?

Keys: I'm just a "professional techie guy" here, not a Man In Black, haha. 

Keys: Hey, I see you!

Keys: In this code, I mean.

Keys: It's showing up that there's an unauthorized player.

Keys: That's what I meant.

You: well yeah, didn't think you were in my walls or anything

Keys: Just making sure! Didn't want you really thinking I was stalking you or anything.

Keys: Still don't remember making that error message, but that's another mystery, I guess.

You: ooh, maybe the game's becoming sentient and it's outgrowing us all!

Keys: There's that imagination again!

Keys: I'm gonna reset your position to your safehouse, hopefully also keeping your progress intact? If this doesn't work then a hard reboot is unfortunately the only other way.

You: you're a doll.

You: AHHHH IT WORKED I'M BACK AND I STILL GOT A SICK ASS BIKE WAITING FOR ME IN MY GARAGE

You: THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHHHH

Keys: Pleasure's all mine, glad I could help. Please reach out if it happens again! Or if you have any other issues!

You: will do. so long, techie guy. thanks for everything!

Keys: Happy playing!

— — — —

It's been a relatively quiet Friday evening for you. Nobody's made any plans to go out, and you're unsure yourself whether you have the energy to. You've pretty much spent your whole day gaming, so you should probably fill your social battery a little, but do you really want to go to a bar by yourself?

You glance over at your phone and smirk at it. There is that guy you've been talking to… Maybe you'll send him something to spice the night up.

Once you've done your hair and make-up to add to the whole look, you find your cutest set of underwear, put it on and take a couple of selfies until there's one you're especially pleased with. Your muscle memory has you tapping three message contacts down, where he always is since you've been texting friends all day, and sending the photo on autopilot with the message: Hey, you.

You giggle with delight when your phone chimes almost immediately after - you've really got this guy whipped, huh - but are surprised to see you've apparently forgotten who else you texted today.

[8:23pm] Keys: OH

[8:23pm] Keys: OH NO

[8:23pm] Keys: I think

[8:23pm] Keys: You've sent this

[8:24pm] Keys: To the wrong person

[8:24pm] Keys: I'm so sorry I saw that!

[8:25pm] You: that's okay, i don't mind that you saw it. :)

[8:25pm] You: besides, burning the midnight oil, still being at your work phone?! don't they have out of hours customer service?

[8:29pm] Keys: I… Might have lied about this being my work phone. I normally have one, but it's getting fixed so I thought I would get away with saying it was a work line to help you out.

[8:30pm] You: and then i went and accidentally sent you an unsolicited lewd. sorry.

[8:36pm] Keys: It was just a shock, is all!

[8:38pm] You: well, since we're both here, and since you haven't deleted the photo yet despite how quickly you deleted your number from the chat log earlier, *and* how long it's taking you to reply, what do you think?

[8:40pm] Keys: Oh god, you're so right, I'm so sorry, I'll delete it now.

[8:40pm] You: don't!

[8:40pm] You: like i said, i want your feedback on it now.

[8:41pm] Keys: Oh! Well, it's very nice.

[8:41pm] You: nice?! ouuuuch.

[8:42pm] Keys: What do you mean? Nice is a compliment!

[8:43pm] You: yeah, from your grandma when you've given her a birthday card. c'mon, i can take it. tell me what you REALLY think. :)

[8:50pm] Keys: I… I think you're very attractive.

[8:51pm] You: there you go! it's super adorable that you're stammering over text, btw.

[9:01pm] Keys: [image attached]

[9:01pm] Keys: It felt weirdly unbalanced that you at least didn't know what I looked like, too.

[9:02pm] You: well damn, no wonder they call you keys, because you are just my *type!*

[9:02pm] You: get it?

[9:03pm] Keys: …That was cheesy as hell.

[9:03pm] Keys: But I like cheese :]

[9:03pm] You: oh yeah? give me your cheesiest pick-up line 

[9:13pm] Keys: Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe!

[9:13pm] You: i award that 🧀🧀🧀/5. you could be cheesier.

[9:19pm] Keys: Okay, fine.

[9:20pm] Keys: Are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for.

[9:22pm] You: 🧀🧀🧀🧀. are YOU google because i'm feeling lucky. ultimate cheese has no comeback. c'mon, you're so close.

[9:26pm] Keys: Oof, okay, give me a sec.

[9:28pm] Keys: Although really you should never use Google if you can help it, they already datamine so much information out of you that the less you use any Google product, the safer you are. I use DuckDuckGo myself, but you should really do your own research when it comes to cybersecurity rather than just blindly trust someone, even if they are a professional.

[9:28pm] You: keys.

[9:29pm] Keys: Right. Sorry.

[9:38pm] Keys: If you were a grade, you'd be A+, because I want to take you home and show you to my parents.

[9:39pm] You: okay, that wins. maximum cheese for keys 🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀

[9:39pm] You: next ranking category: 🌶️ 

[9:39pm] You: let's see what you got, hot stuff

[9:45pm] Keys: What?! I can't just send you stuff like that! That's so forward!

[9:46pm] You: keys you've seen my tits

[9:46pm] You: i think we're past that

[9:55pm] Keys: Accidentally!

[9:55pm] You: and all the time you spend scrolling back up to it is "accidental", too?

[9:56pm] Keys: …How could you tell?

[9:57pm] You: every now and then you take a little bit longer between messages. just assuming you're scrolling up lol

[9:56pm] You: like i keep saying. i don't mind at all. you don't have to be shy around me

[9:58pm] Keys: Well, since all my cards are apparently on the table so obviously…

[9:58pm] Keys: Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a foot-long.

[9:59pm] You: ????? talk about 0-60! also i think that deserves negative 🌶️ for the psychic damage it caused me to read

[10:00pm] Keys: You just turned my software into hardware.

[10:00pm] You: what happened to "that's so forward", eh?

[10:01pm] You: but, credit where it's due, 🌶️🌶️. normally a 🌶️ but from you it's like a 2.5/5

[10:01pm] Keys: Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.

[10:01pm] You: oh

[10:02pm] You: oh my god

[10:02pm] You: oh you sweet boy, you're googling them, aren't you

[10:02pm] You: or whatever you use instead

[10:04pm] Keys: Some of us need the extra help! We're not all as smooth as you.

[10:04pm] You: sure you are, baby, you just need to get comfortable

[10:05pm] Keys: But I'm already on my bed!

[10:05pm] You: not just in that way! try taking something off

[10:06pm] You: and then send me proof 😇

[10:11pm] Keys: [image attached]

[10:11pm] Keys: ;]

[10:12pm] You: taking off your glasses doesn't count, dork!

[10:12pm] Keys: [image attached]

[10:12pm] Keys: like this?

[10:13pm] You: holy fuck

[10:13pm] You: hi you're hot

[10:14pm] Keys: Hahaha, thank you? I still don't feel any more charismatic, though!

[10:15pm] You: well, going back to your line about being like a good grade you wanna take home… does that maybe mean you also want to pin me up on the fridge?

[10:18pm] Keys: Well, the fridge isn't very sturdy. I think I'd rather do that against the wall.

[10:18pm] You: okay now *that’s* hot

[10:18pm] You: and what would you do with me once you'd pinned me to the wall? 

[10:24pm] Keys: I'm not very good at all of the imaginative talk stuff that sounds sexy. Even using the word seems like the total opposite of what I'm trying to do.

[10:25pm] You: not at all, sometimes bluntness is the sexiest thing of all.

[10:29pm] Keys: Well, I'd really like to kiss you. All over, actually. 

[10:29pm] You: *all* over?

[10:31pm] Keys: Yeah. The way you were posing made your neck look amazing.

[10:32pm] Keys: Oh god, now I sound like a vampire

[10:34pm] You: i promise you don't, that was my intention when i took it lol. besides, vampires are sexy as hell. i'd love it if you kissed my neck

[10:34pm] You: would you touch me?

[10:35pm] Keys: Wouldn't I be holding you against the wall?

[10:36pm] You: true, but there's other ways. like, you could put your leg between mine to keep me in place

[10:37pm] You: mmm, and then i could grind against your thigh while you keep this little promise of kissing and touching me *all over*

[10:37pm] You: does that sound good?

[10:41pm] Keys: Oh god yes

[10:43pm] You: and then that leaves my hands free to touch you, too. i wanna play connect the dots with those cute little moles of yours

[10:47pm] Keys: Oh my god

[10:48pm] Keys: that made me want to trace them myself for some reason and that felt so good

[10:49pm] You: you're touching yourself AND not paying attention to grammar anymore? for lil ol' me?

[10:49pm] You: that deserves a reward, i think 

[10:51pm] You: [image attached]

[10:51pm] You: i seem to have lost my bra, come over and help me find it?

[10:58pm] Keys: holy shit 

[10:58pm] Keys: can i just say what i'm thinking and then you can tell me if i'm going to far 

[10:59pm] You: i think you mean *too, nerd boy, but yes, i'd love that

[11:06pm] Keys: sorry typing is getting difficult at the moment

[11:11pm] Keys: i want to hold them so bad. they look amazing, especially with your nipples so hard

[11:11pm] You: when you say typing is difficult, are you touching yourself right now?

[11:12pm] You: because now i'm playing with my nipples and wishing it was you

[11:13pm] You: tell me, baby. you want me to rub them? squeeze them? you wanna come over and suck on them?

[11:17pm] Keys: i want to feel them get hard. want to touch them while i kiss you

[11:17pm] You: attaboy! i knew you had it in you

[11:19pm] You: they're so sensitive now. and humping my pillow as if it’s your leg isn't enough, can i touch myself for you, please?

[11:23pm] Keys: oh god yes please do

[11:23pm] You: are you okay to call? i have a feeling both of us are getting preoccupied now

Your phone lights up with the name "Keys Freecity" and you immediately put it on speaker, letting the phone rest on your pillow next to you. "Well, hey there."

"Uh, hi." His voice is shaking and his breath is hitching.

"You know, you never told me if you were touching yourself or not," you point out.

"I - I am," he stammers out, and you purr back.

"God, I wish I was there to do that for you. Or at least to watch. I bet you look so fucking good right now. What are you thinking about, then, huh?"

"I was, uh… Thinking, about… The way you look up in those photos… And…" He falters out, but you hear the faintest groan, still.

"Aw, you want me to suck you off, baby?" You tease. "Thinking about me looking up at you? My lips wrapped around your cock? Mmm, I bet it's so big I can barely fit, huh?"

"I… I mean, it's not the sandwich I promised earlier, but… It's definitely bigger than… Average," Keys explains, and you don't hold back on the moan that hearing that news elicits from you.

You still laugh softly at his joke. "Yeah, I could tell, baby. Fuck, when are you coming over and splitting me in half already?"

"God, I wish I could," he replies in a strained voice. “Also, it’s really - hot when y- you call me that.”

"Yeah? And how do you like it, baby? You wanna fuck me on my back, so you can keep watching me as you play with me? Or you wanna be the one to lay there and take it while I bounce on your dick? Or d- do you wanna just - bend me over and - fuck me senseless, huh?" As you finally give into temptation, sliding your hand beneath your panties and finally giving your clit the attention it's been craving for far too long, your breath hitches and your voice gets weaker.

“Oh, god, I… All of it, god, please, I don’t care, just want you,” he groans through the phone.

“I want you too, baby, you sound so good,” you croon sultrily, rubbing yourself in faster, tighter circles. “Are you close, hm? Gonna cum for me? I wanna hear you get off so bad.”

“Wanna - wanna get off for yo- with you, want you, please,” he whines.

“Mmm, tell me one more time, baby. What are you thinking of now?” You ask as you sink a finger inside of you. “Thinking of fucking me, yet?”

“Mm - mm-hm,” Keys whimpers. “You - You on top of me, talking like that and - and riding me, treating my cock so good.”

“I’d treat you so good, baby," you groan, adding another finger. "And you'd fill me up, wouldn't you? Fuck me - oh, right there," you whine as you curl your fingers to hit just the right spot. "Oh god, Keys, need you inside me."

Something about you saying his name short-circuits his brain. You just about hear his strained string of moans and profanities through the phone, picturing in your head how that sweet face of his must look - eyes glassing over, lips slightly parted, chest heaving. Maybe you’d fuck him with his glasses on. Maybe they’d be clouded over, knocked askew on his face as you bounced up and down on his dick. “Did you just come for me, baby?” you coo, your shoulders tensing and toes curling as you feel your own release building.

"Mm-hm, yeah, made - made a real mess of myself, shit," he half-laughs with exhaustion.

“That’s my good boy,” you smile dazedly, your core convulsing around your fingers. "Want me to cum for you, too?"

"Oh, shit, you haven- where are my - God, fuck, yes, let me hear you s… Say my name," his voice shakes with the effort he's trying to exude confidence into his tone, betrayed by the immediate, "please," that rolls off his tongue.

Closing your eyes, imagining that look on his face again, pressing your phone flush against your ear as if it pulls him closer to you, you finally leg out an, "Oh, god, Keys!" before finally feeling yourself gush down your fingers, past your hand, even. Breathing heavily, you pant, "Shit, baby, I think you made me squirt."

"Is that a good thing?" he asks meekly.

"Very. You doing good, now?"

"Very!" He repeats back to you, breathlessly, making you laugh. "Sorry I was so… Pathetic, I guess. God," his voice muffles as though he's rubbing his face while he talks. "But it did sound like you were into it a little," he points out with a lilt in his voice.

You grin, "I sure did, but if you wanted to do it again, but more… Confidently, I'd be more than happy to do that again. If you wanted."

"I've never really done… Any of that before, like, at all," he starts, and you interrupt him with a laugh.

"Yeah, no shit, Mr Subway!"

"Ah, like I said, that's not entirely untrue," he laughs awkwardly. "But I've especially never done anything with a total stranger, much less someone I helped through work, um, they can't - you wo- please, don't -"

"You mean this isn't standard practice for Free City customer support?" You tease sarcastically, before adding in a serious tone, "I won't tell a soul. Besides, I like having you as my dirty little secret."

He chuckles, "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Maybe the next time you're feeling up to it, we can video call."

"N-Next time?!"

You hurriedly add, "If you wanted, you sounded like you did, if this is the first and last, that's totally -"

"No! I mean, yeah! I mean… If that's… Cool," he stammers.

You smile, "It's very cool. Just gotta be a little more confident. Isn't there something you do when you need that extra boost? Like, surely in the game you gotta be a little more self-assured around trolls and hackers and shit, right?"

He groans, "I was hoping you wouldn't ask about that."

Grinning wickedly, you poke further. "Well, now I have to know. Who are you in the game? Have I ever seen you?"

"I… I play a cop," he admits, sounding as though he'd rather the ground swallowed him whole. "It's usually me and my buddy, and he's - he's a rabbit."

You light up. "Shut the fuck up, you're Dirty Stripper Cop?!"

"Oh god, the players call me that, too?! It's bad enough that Mouser does," he groans in despair.

"No, this is perfect. You just let me know when you’re ready to bring… Dirty Stripper Cop to our little talks, and I’ll be waiting,” you bite back a laugh as you repeat his character’s nickname in the hopes that he’ll still take your offer seriously.

A moment of silence exists between the two of you before he pipes up, “...And what if I still want to talk to you, without… All of this? I mean, if that’s all you want, then I guess, but… I dunno, you still seem really cool, and you made me laugh today, even at work when it felt weird in my cheeks to start smiling. But if this is all you want with -”

The rest of his words get drowned out as you move your phone away from its position to look at your dating app notifications. Keys has apparently not been your only option tonight. And you’ve never been one to commit. But something tells you that this was the best offer you’re getting. And the next one will be. As will the one after that, and that’s not even set in stone, yet. But you’re hoping to guarantee it.

As you return your headset to your ear, he’s still rambling. You cut him off with a simple, “Keys.” He shuts up quickly, and you continue, “I - I meant it. I wanna talk to you again. Maybe more than just this, I dunno, I’m bad at this sorta stuff. But… You’re cute. In more ways than one. And if you wanna keep talking, I’ll try. But that’s all I can promise.”

“That’s enough for me! I’ll, um, I’ll text you in the morning, then? Or is that too soon?”

“I honestly wish I could tell you,” you admit sadly. You hope it gets through to him that your reservations aren’t on his part.

Thankfully for you, he doesn’t seem so keen to give up. “Alright! Well, I suppose I got some cleaning up to do before I get some shut-eye. Um, so I’ll talk to you, tomorrow… At some point. Um, goodnight!”

“Goodnight, baby.”

[greater-than-the-sword]

How to Back up a Tumblr Blog

This will be a long post.

Big thank you to @afairmaiden for doing so much of the legwork on this topic. Some of these instructions are copied from her verbatim.

Now, we all know that tumblr has an export function that theoretially allows you to export the contents of your blog. However, this function has several problems including no progress bar (such that it appears to hang for 30+ hours) and when you do finally download the gargantuan file, the blog posts cannot be browsed in any way resembling the original blog structure, searched by tag, etc.

What we found is a tool built for website archiving/mirroring called httrack. Obviously this is a big project when considering a large tumblr blog, but there are some ways to help keep it manageable. Details under the cut.

How to download your blog with HTTrack:

Website here

You will need:

A reliable computer and a good internet connection.

Time and space. For around 40,000 posts, expect 48 hours and 40GB. 6000 posts ≈ 10 hours, 12GB. If possible, test this on a small blog before jumping into a major project. There is an option to stop and continue an interrupted download later, but this may or may not actually resume where it left off. Keep in mind that Tumblr is a highly dynamic website with things changing all the time (notes, icons, pages being updated with every post, etc).

A custom theme. It doesn't have to be pretty, but it does need to be functional. That said, there are a few things you may want to make sure are in your theme before starting to archive:

the drop down meatball menu on posts with the date they were posted

tags visible on your theme, visible from your blog's main page

no icon images on posts/notes (They may be small, but keep in mind there are thousands of them, so if nothing else, they'll take up time. Instructions on how to exclude them below.)

Limitations: This will not save your liked or private posts, or messages. Poll results also may not show up.

What to expect from HTTrack:

HTTrack will mirror your blog locally by creating a series of linked HTML files that you can browse with your browser even if tumblr were to entirely go down. The link structure mimics the site structure, so you should be able to browse your own blog as if you had typed in the url of your custom theme into the browser. Some elements may not appear or load, and much of the following instructions are dedicated to making sure that you download the right images without downloading too many unnecessary images.

There will be a fair bit of redundancy as it will save:

individual posts pages for all your tags, such as tagged/me etc (If you tend to write a lot in your tags, you may want to save time and space by skipping this option. Instructions below.)

the day folder (if you have the meatball menu)

regular blog pages (page/1 etc)

How it works: HTTrack will be going through your url and saving the contents of every sub directory. In your file explorer this will look like a series of nested folders.

How to Start

Download and run HTTrack.

In your file directory, create an overarching folder for the project in some drive with a lot of space.

Start a new project. Select this folder in HTTrack as the save location for your project. Name your project.

For the url, enter https://[blogname].tumblr.com. Without the https:// you'll get a robots.txt error and it won't save anything.

Settings:

Open settings. Under "scan rules":

Check the box for filetypes .gif etc. Make sure the box for .zip etc. is unchecked. Check the box for .mov etc.

Under "limits":

Change the max speed to between 100,000 - 250,000. The reason this needs to be limited is because you could accidentally DDOS the website you are downloading. Do not DDOS tumblr.

Change the link limit to maybe 200,000-300,000 for a cutoff on a large blog, according to @afairmaiden. This limit is to prevent you from accidentally having a project that goes on infinitely due to redundancy or due to getting misdirected and suddenly trying to download the entirety of wikipedia.

Go through the other tabs. Check the box that says "Get HTML first". Uncheck "find every link". Uncheck "get linked non-html files". If you don't want to download literally the entire internet. Check "save all items in cache as well as HTML". Check "disconnect when finished".

Go back to Scan Rules.

There will be a large text box. In this box we place a sort of blacklist and whitelist for filetypes.

Paste the following text into that box.

+*.mp4 +*.gifv -*x-callback-url* -*/sharer/* -*/amp -*tumblr.com/image* -*/photoset_iframe/*

Optional:

-*/tagged/* (if you don't want to save pages for all your tags.)

-*/post/* (if you don't want to save each post individually. not recommended if you have readmores that redirect to individual posts.)

-*/day/* (if you don't feel it's necessary to search by date)

Optional but recommended:

-*/s64x64u*.jpg -*tumblr_*_64.jpg -*avatar_*_64.jpg -*/s16x16u*.jpg -*tumblr_*_16*.jpg -*avatar_*_16.jpg -*/s64x64u*.gif -*tumblr_*_64.gif -*avatar_*_64.gif -*/s16x16u*.gif -*tumblr_*_16.gif -*avatar_*_16.gif

This will prevent the downloading of icons/avatars, which tend to be extremely redundant as each image downloads a separate time for each appearance.

Many icons are in .pnj format and therefore won't download unless you add the extension (+*.pnj), so you may be able to whitelist the URLs for your and your friends' icons. (Honestly, editing your theme to remove icons from your notes may be the simpler solution here.)

You should now be ready to start.

Make sure your computer doesn't overheat during the extremely long download process.

Pages tend to be among the last things to save. If you have infinite scroll on, your first page (index.html) may not have a link to page 2, but your pages will be in the folder.

Shortly after your pages are done, you may see the link progress start over. This may be to check that everything is complete. At this point, it should be safe to click cancel if you want to stop, but you run the risk of more stuff being missing. You will need to wait a few minutes for pending transfers to be competed.

Once you're done, you'll want to check for: Files without an extension.

Start with your pages folder, sort items by file type, and look for ones that are simply listed as "file" rather than HTML. Add the appropriate extension (in this case, .html) and check to see if it works. (This may cause links to this page to appear broken.)

Next, sort by file size and check for 0B files. HTMLs will appear as a blank page. Delete these. Empty folders. View files as large icons to find these quickly.

If possible, make a backup copy of your project file and folder, especially if you have a fairly complete download and you want to update it.

Finally, turn off your computer and let it rest.

[putschki1969]

2024/08/10 Blog post by Wakana おしゃべりガーデン第12回目‼️〜人生最高の枕を求めて〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ ❗Do NOT SHARE on other sites❗ ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Talk Garden Vol.#12‼️~In Search of the Best Pillow of My Life~

Vol. 12 of "Wakana's Talk Garden" has just been uploaded! ＼＼\٩( 'ω' )و //／／

This time, I was able to hear a lot of very interesting stories about everyone's pillow situation at home 😍 Seems like quite a lot of people have tried using a so-called "custom-made pillow" 😳 But many of you are also overwhelmed by the sheer endless choice of pillows so you just end up using a traditional Japanese pillow or even just a bath-towel. The most common choice was definitely a "buckwheat pillow" 😳 I was surprised! I didn't really know much about them 😂 I had the impression that buckwheat pillows were packed full and even if you reduced the contents, they would be kind of lumpy and difficult to sleep on… I'm sorry 🤣 I looked into it and it wasn't what I thought it would be! 😳 It wasn't at all the super high shogun pillow I had imagined😂 Apparently, it doesn't lose its shape even when you turn over in your sleep, and the buckwheat helps to absorb moisture and release heat, so it doesn't get hot even in the summer. It seems that buckwheat pillows are still popular to this day😃

I'm kind of… intrigued!! 😳💓But…I already have so many old and current pillows …(Look at this tower of tears made up of pillows I tried out through trial and error, unwilling to give up on them) There's no way I can make this tower any taller… for the time being🥺

By the way, the new pillow I bought last month has now made it into main line-up but I still feel like I need to improve my sleeping style. It's a medical pillow for children. It's really small. The other pillow in my main line-up is this one here. The "Dr.Recommended Pillow for Shoulder and Neck Support". ↑ You can adjust the height by adding or removing stuffing, just like with buckwheat pillows! (It comes with a lot of extra pipes like these.) I've reduced the stuffing quite a bit so the pillow is rather flat but it still doesn't feel right so I'm considering adding more pipes.

What I learned from everyone's messages this time is that it's really important to find a good match for your mattress/futon… I realised it's hard to judge a pillow just by its appearance 🤔 Even if it's custom-made, you might not know unless you try it out in an environment similar to the one you usually sleep in 😞 The other thing is the position of the pillow! Personally, I put my pillow rather high up so my head is barely on the pillow 🤔But the troth is, your entire head and even your shoulders should rest on the pillow🤔I tried it last night and my neck was fine but the area around my shoulder blades was really stiff 😂 It's difficult… 😭My pillow journey continues!! I hope we can all find the "best pillow of our life!!"･:*+.(( °ω° ))/.:+

Thank you so much to everyone who submitted messages!!

The theme for the next podcast on September 10th is "Everyone's Strange Experiences"!! Please share stories that can't be explained by science or something that's mysterious which made you question everything you just experienced. Maybe a story you heard from someone else? Anything is OK!! However, please only share stories that aren't too scary😂 I'm easily scared *laughs*. Please don't tell me anything that will make me too scared to even wash my hair in the bathroom at night😂←I know it's tough, I'm sorry about that *laughs* Of course, you can also share "stories of miraculous experiences"!! 😊 I'm looking forward to hearing your stories of strange experiences that will hopefully cheer us up and keep us cool at the end of summer!! ＼(^o^)／

Well, for the time-being, it's still hot so please continue to take care of your health!

Until next time~☆( '▽')/

＊＊＊Wakana＊＊＊

Wakana’s Talk Garden #12

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ ❗Do NOT SHARE on other sites❗ ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Episode #12 »»—— CLICK ME 🎁 CLICK ME ——«« ・ What kind of pillow do you use?/What’s your pillow situation? ・Anything you’d like to ask Wakana/Anything you’d like Wakana to talk about

For next month’s episode which is scheduled to air on September 10th, the following two topics have been chosen:

・Share a strange experience ・Anything you’d like to ask Wakana/Anything you’d like Wakana to talk about

The submission deadline is 08/31.

[sepdet]

Have you SEEN the original moon landing feed, especially the scary bit near the end?

Now stay with me. I grew up hearing about these few minutes from my parents (in fact I took the TV they watched it on to grad school; DS9 and Babylon5 worked well in b&w).

This is even crazier than it looks like.

My parents were both scientists, my grandmother a planetarium director, and my dad was just about to land his job at a rocket company that built 95 small rockets that were part of the UpGoer Saturn V. (Yeah. Just the small ones. Saturn V was a BEAST.)

So my parents had a fair idea how dangerous this was, how Neil going manual was a bad sign, and just how close he was to running empty and crashing. They knew the problem that every ounce of fuel you carry requires even more fuel to lift off, so the Eagle was built light, carrying no excess weight even in fuel (it had to lift off the Moon with no rocket, after all).

But they didn't learn until years later just how jury-rigged and bespoke Apollo technology was. Every vehicle and part was designed like a Mythbusters build: extremely customized for the procedures it had to accomplish, using parts and even technology invented for specific mission tasks.

rope memory, predecessor to modern silicon chips: 1s and 0s woven by women (of course) at a Massachusetts textile plant

At the time, computers were the size of rooms and very touchy. Apollo's computer memory was core rope memory, never used before or since, to save space. The read/write guidance computer, too, was woven: physical media could better survive the rigors of space travel. (I suspect even my parents don't know it also used some of the very first integrated circuits, soldered by hand under a microscope by Navajo women).

Spacesuits were (and still are) designed and hand-stitched by Playtex bramakers. The lunar rovers' wheels were titanium meshes woven with piano wire to let dust through, and even had a clever navigation system despite no GPS or magnetic north.

They couldn't test these rigs with computer modeling. They didn't know for sure what the moon's surface would be like, apart from basic parameters like low gravity and near vacuum and a temperature ranging from 250°F in the sun to -250° in the shade. And it was nearly impossible to test for or practice in those conditions on Earth.

And then there were the unknowns. A massive solar flare between Apollo 16 and 17 might have killed or sickened them too much to operate their ship.

While the spacesuit and to some extent the rover design carried on, a lot of these hacks were so unusual that they might as well be alien tech. (I'm sorry woven technology fell out of vogue for several decades.) That goes some way towards explaining why humans haven't left Earth orbit since I was two.

The other problem, of course, is expense. Tech for human space exploration requires as much R&D and testing as fighter planes, which have developed through a century of multiple countries' military budgets. Human space programs are lucky to last two presidents; the next president usually doesn't think giving glory to his predecessor is a good use of money.

So for 40 years, NASA has mostly worked with other countries on human spaceflight or built robot explorers that can be launched in 3-4 years before Congress or the president can axe the program. They're less likely to shut down a mission when 99.99% of the money's been spent, and all that's left to do is download data and uplink occasional instructions.

TL:DR; Congress and the White House keep flashing the equivalent of that computer error message, every time NASA gets ready to send humans into space again. Overload. Abort mission.

Unless, you know, American citizens start saying Go. Go. Go. Go. We have some pretty important priorities down here on Earth (which Amazon and Disney and oil companies should be footing the bill for, though they try not to), but I bet the military can cough up the cost of a few fighter jets.

[arachnixe]

Dinner's On Me

(Part 3 of Night’s Longing - Previous: A Better Family)

(CW for the usual vampire blood and death stuff, but also sexual intimidation and cannibalism)

The man shouting at me imagines himself to be someone important. Though I barely pay attention to his ranting and raving, I gather that my error has not only inconvenienced him, it is but the first domino in a chain reaction that will end with his company collapsing, people losing their jobs, and the entire United States economy falling into ruin, all because I neglected the extra shot of espresso in his extra large caramel turtle mocha.

His words wash over me without impact while I fantasize about sinking my teeth into his neck and drinking every last drop of blood in his body.

“But you’re not even a vampire,” my boss Amber might say, “so why would you do that?”

“Because blood tastes fucking great, and he was getting on my nerves, just like you.” And then I’d drink her blood too.

Oops, I must have accidentally smiled at that thought, because this guy is turning even redder. I have found that the best way to infuriate an already angry asshole is to respond inappropriately—that is to say, without cowering in fear—to getting berated. Ah, well. I zone out for the remainder of his rant before offering an insincere apology and a promise to remake the drink. The dude gets his extra shot of espresso, and I make sure the whole thing is decaf.

Finally I get a break to check my messages.

“I’m not paying you to text on the clock, Ms. Boltman.”

I look up and scan the store for customers, seeing absolutely nobody here but the two of us. It is almost closing time, after all. Glancing back at my boss, she seems even more annoyed, as if I had deliberately insulted her by daring to look around for something to do.

“Smart-ass, huh? Well, since you’re too blind to find the work I’m paying you to do, let me help you out.” She points to a bulging pile in the back room. “See those garbage bags? They need to be taken out to the dumpster. Think you can handle that?”

“Yes, ma’am. Can do.”

I haul several bags outside while my boss does whatever it is she does to start prepping the store for close. The night air is pleasantly cool, so this isn’t too bad a chore, honestly. Also… is that her car?

Bending down, I unscrew the valve cap on one of the tires and use the tip of my pocket knife to press on the stem until enough air hisses out to leave the thing completely flat. I figure even if she has a spare with air in it, there’s no chance Amber knows how to change her own tire.

---

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit! When did I last…? Ugh!” My boss stomps her foot on the ground in a display of frustration that comes across as kind of goofy and immature for a manager of a coffee shop, a woman in her forties, almost twice my age.

Huh. Actually, that puts her at about the same age as Vicks and Liz, now that I think about it. Weird to consider that my besties are closer in age to my boss than to me.

“Something wrong, Amber?” I make my voice sound as innocent as possible.

“Yes. It is.” She bites the words off. “I’ll have to call a tow truck or something. Shit. I’m going to be here all night.”

I sigh heavily as though contemplating my options for a moment, trying not to appear too eager. Dragging my words in an imitation of reluctance, I say, “I’ve got friends picking me up soon.”

Amber casts a look of uncertainty my way but says nothing.

“If you’d like, we could give you a lift home, and then you won’t be stranded here at least.”

I watch her weighing her options. Still, it’s clear that the idea of getting a night’s sleep and calling for a tow or a friend in the morning sounds more appealing than the alternative, so she nods her agreement. “Alright. Look, I appreciate the favor a lot.”

“Of course, you’d do the same for me, right?”

It takes her a moment to respond. “Right.” A look of guilt crosses her face then, as if she just now realizes for the first time what an asshole she’s been to me every single shift. “I know I’ve been hard on you, but you know it’s nothing personal, right? It’s just a lot of hard work keeping this store in good shape, and I have to make sure everyone’s on the same page and working together as a team.”

“Oh yeah sure I get it,” I say absent-mindedly, watching a dented Honda pull into the parking lot.

Liz, in the driver’s seat, rolls down her window. “Hey, good looking. Who’s your friend?”

“This is my boss, our damsel in distress this evening.”

Amber gives an awkward wave. “Hi. Uh, thanks for this.”

“Happy to help,” Liz replies, giving my boss an appraising look that barely hides her hunger. “Hop in the back. I’ve got some junk up front in the passenger’s seat.”

Vicky’s in the back too, selflessly taking the center seat so that Amber, behind the driver, will be effectively pinned between the two when the time comes. We pile in, the doors lock, and the car takes off.

“So, what side of town are you?”

“You know the Greenwood neighborhood?”

Huh. Who knew we lived close to each other. Maybe if Amber weren’t so shitty, we could’ve shared a ride sometimes. It’d be a lot faster for me than waiting on the buses, which don’t even come that often at this time of the evening.

Vicky claps her on the shoulder in an overfamiliar way that inspires a flinch from my boss. “Hey, that’s where we’re headed anyway.”

“Oh! I’m glad you don’t have to go out of your way on my account.” Amber sounds a touch less embarrassed now, but she grimaces uncomfortably at how closely Vicky leans toward her, how her hand lingers near Amber’s neck. It’s astonishing how meek she becomes around people she has no formal authority over.

“On the contrary, I want to extend an extra invitation to you.” Vicky’s voice is breathy, and she grins in a particular way I’ve grown quite familiar with. Some vampiric urges really can’t be controlled. “I think I speak for all of us when I say we’d love to have you for dinner.”

Amber squirms in her seat. “Oh no, that really won’t be necessary, thank you, no.”

Liz presses. “I insist! I cannot allow you to turn us down for fear of being a pain in the neck. I promise, our necks will be just fine.”

My boss’s eyes dart back and forth before clinging to me with a pleading look that begs me to help her escape. The help I offer is not for her.

“Yeah, c’mon, Amber.” I smile at my boss. “I’ve joined them before and find all their meals to die for.”

Vicky turns and high-fives me for that one while Amber grows more uneasy, whether at the increasingly obnoxious vampire puns or at the feeling of being trapped with aggressive dykes who won’t take no for an answer. She shuts down completely, seeming to physically shrink away from the rest of us.

I’ve gotten so used to the two of them that I kind of forgot just how predatory both sisters are. They seem to be feeding off of Amber’s discomfort. I catch Liz licking her lips as if tasting the fear in the air. I lean on Vicky’s shoulder, twirling her hair around my finger in a performance of comfort with one of the women making Amber sweat, just so that she knows exactly how alone she is here.

The vampire’s excitement radiates from her. Vicky looks my way with mischief in her eyes and starts unbuttoning my jeans.

My boss notices, staring in our direction. Her eyes meet mine again, and I maintain eye contact, taking satisfaction in her rising discomfort bordering on alarm at the exhibitionism on display. Vicky’s hand slides toward my crotch, her cool fingers warming quickly once they’ve slipped inside me. Amber says nothing. All she can do is stare at me, watching my lips part, watching me gasp and shudder while a woman who knows just what I like works her hand rhythmically between my legs.

It’s not until after I climax that I notice the car has stopped moving. Amber shakes herself out of her daze, apparently noticing the same thing at the same time.

“We’re here, little morsel.”

“Wait. This isn’t my home. Where are we? This isn’t my home!” She tries the handle, but the door doesn’t open. Alarm turns to panic, and she starts frantically jerking the handle, clawing at the door to find a manual unlock. Oh, we really unnerved her, didn’t we? “Let me out. Please, let me out. Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out!“

With a click I hear Liz unlock the door. Ah, she wants to chase her prey, I see. On cue, our victim bolts from the car. The rest of us take our time exiting into the empty parking lot of the practically dead shopping mall near my apartment.

The woman is terribly out of shape. Even I could chase her down at a modest jog. For a pair of vampires, their speed supernaturally enhanced beyond human limits, she might as well be standing still. In the space of a single breath, Liz is already in front of her, grabbing her by the wrist.

To her credit, Amber decides to go down fighting. She takes a swing, landing a solid hit on Liz’s face. Unfortunately for her, both sisters are well-fed vampires, and the punch lands with all the impact of a gentle breeze. In a blink Vicky is right there to grab the woman’s other arm. Fuck, it’s satisfying to watch my shitty boss struggle in vain against these two beauties, the moon highlighting the perfect curves of their bodies. Their bared fangs gleam in the same light, a threat and a promise and symbol of the absolute perfection they represent.

Liz goes first, sinking her teeth into the soft flesh of Amber’s inner forearm. I catch up just in time to get a detailed look at how my beloved friend’s eyes roll back in pleasure.

“Come here, babe. I know what you want.” She grabs me by the back of my head and pulls me into a kiss, spitting a mouthful of blood for me to eagerly gulp down. The way she just ogles my swallowing makes my face flush with heat. “Before meeting you, I never knew how hot it would be to watch a human drink blood like we do, but it really never gets old.” She exhales a deep breath with naked lust. “You get nothing out of this. You’re just a filthy pervert who wants so desperately to join us.”

We all ignore our victim’s pitiful mewling while Vicky goes right for the neck. She drinks deeply before pulling me over to share with me in a sloppy, messy kiss while her sister takes her turn with dinner again. Even as she drinks, Liz never peels her eyes away from the way I desperately kiss blood from her sister’s mouth. My still-unbuttoned jeans fall away from my hips as I get passed back and forth and back and forth between my favorite pair of sisters. Amber dies, and her blood is on all our hands, and our hands are all over each other, making a sticky mess of our clothes and skin.

They pin me to the cold concrete, Vicky sitting on my face and putting my best skills to good use while Liz grinds on my thigh, using me like a toy to get herself off.

Yet even after they finish, we’re still not done.

“More.” Vicky licks her hands, savoring the last wet drops of Amber. “This is such a good start to the evening, but I’m really in a mood to gorge myself and get fucked senseless.”

“Agreed.” Liz helps me to my feet but doesn’t let me go, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me against her body to idly play with me while discussing what’s next on the agenda. I try to offer a suggestion—myself as dessert—but Liz silences me by pushing two fingers between my lips, pumping them in and out while I drool over her hand. “And I need to make Hanna do something really fucked up while I watch.”

“I’m thinking of what you said earlier. Why not tonight?”

I try to speak, but all that comes out is a muffled question mark.

“We’re going to your apartment, babe.” Liz answers me as though I spoke perfectly clearly, her other hand squeezing my waist possessively. “Your roommates will make an excellent meal to follow that little appetizer.”

Wait, no. I need them to pay their share of the rent! But like my question a moment ago, these words come out as nothing more than a muffled sound of objection.

“I know, babe. And you’re already out a job, at least for a while until they replace this bitch, right?” Liz’s grin is a razor blade pressed to my throat. Her voice is a barbed wire coil tightening around my heart. “What was it you wanted me to be? A ‘sugar momma?’ I wasn’t fond of the idea at first, but I thought about it, and the idea of you being completely dependent on my good graces was practically intoxicating. How could I resist?”

The fingers of her other hand close around my neck—gently, for now—and I am reminded that these two very well-fed vampires could absolutely snuff out my life in a heartbeat right now.

“Now, babe, I do love how eager you are, but I wouldn’t mind seeing a touch of desperation in there too. Now show me that you understand by sucking my fingers like a good girl, hmm?”

My heart pounds like crazy. I close my eyes and fellate her fingers like my life depends on it. I kiss and suck and work my tongue around every knuckle. I make sure to clean the dried blood from under her nails and swallow those slender fingers as far back as I can. I do my best to perform for her, and yet the noises I make are wholly involuntary.

“Those slutty little moans of yours are a good touch, babe. Keep going.”

“Whoa.” Vicky, watching the show, has an admiring lilt to her voice. “She is visibly wet from all that, Liz. You should threaten Hanna more often; she looks like she’s about to cum just from you fingering her mouth.” The vampire leans in close to me, baring her fangs in my face. “Go ahead, cum for us, pretty thing.”

Helplessly, I do. My knees shake, a whimper escapes my throat, and all that keeps me from collapsing is the support of the sister who fetishizes my dependence on her. And god help me, I already know I’ll do whatever she demands.

---

We track bloody footprints into my apartment complex with every step. My jeans are somewhere in a crumpled heap in the back seat of the car, I think. My shirt is stained with obvious, grasping handprints. Sticky, dark smears paint my face, my underwear, and the inside of my thighs. I look like a shameless mess as I fumble my key into the lock and open the door.

All three roommates are hanging out in the main room, watching one of them play a game on the TV. Madison glances toward the doorway for a moment and then shrieks.

“Holy shit what the hell happened are you okay???“

I feel lightheaded. Almost drunk, even. I feel like I’m slightly removed from myself as I introduce my roommates to my family. “Liz, Vicky, this is Madison, Alexis, and Hannah-With-An-H.” This is a bit awkward, isn’t it? How do you introduce people to their killers? “I dunno what else to say. Um, they’re vampires, and I sold you all out because their approval means more to me than your lives, to be honest.”

Confusion and doubt give way to screaming as the vampires descend on my roommates. My family feeds on two of them, while Hannah-With-An-H makes a break for the door. As a vampire hunter, I’m able to easily overpower her. With a grab and a twist, I have her pinned to the floor while she begs and pleads for me to let her go.

I don’t think about the conversations we’ve had. I don’t think about the things we discovered we have in common. I just ignore her tears and wait for my family to be ready for the last course of the evening.

“What are you waiting for? This one’s yours, Hanna.” Liz puts her hand on my shoulder from behind.

“Mine?”

“Yeah,” Vicky chimes in. “Liz wants to get off watching you kill and eat her.”

“You can use that knife of yours if you want.” Liz’s voice is soothing, encouraging, a far cry from the hard edge she spoke with earlier. “But tonight you have to kill an innocent girl who’s done you no harm, who’s no threat to anyone, alright? You’ll do it for the same reason we do. Because you’re hungry, and that’s your dinner.” Her hand strokes my cheek, and I lean into her touch even as she smears more gore onto my face. “You want to be just like us vampires, don’t you? Well, you don’t get much from blood, but those nice juicy muscles would taste so good, don’t you think? Practically the same thing as a nice cut of steak served extra rare, just for you.”

That’s a lot to ask of me. It’s one thing to drink a mouthful of blood every now and then, but this is pure cannibalism. It’s…

“Do this for me. Show me how much you enjoy it, and I’ll call you sister. You’ll be a vampire in my heart, if not in your teeth.”

I tilt my head back to look at her, with an emotion I dare not name welling up inside my chest. It’s an ache for belonging, a spiritual hole that I’ve never had filled. Liz beams at me, and she’s so encouraging and loving that I cannot possibly say no.

I draw my knife. I smile at my prey. What use is guilt, anyway, compared to the approval of the women I love?

I’ll do everything for this family.

[caxycreations]

Fuck Ebay, and fuck this customer.

Okay, so story time.

A month or so ago I went on a selling binge. Had a bunch of stuff I didn't need, so I was selling it on Ebay.

One of those items was Monster Hunter: Generations Ultimate, and another was Sid Meier's Civilization VI, both for the Switch.

Someone buys MH:GU. So I get everything ready, pack it up for shipping, and we head to the post office. I ship it out, get home...Only to see MH:GU sitting on my shelf, and Civilization missing.

Turns out, in my rush to be ready and despite checking, double checking, and triple-checking, it NEVER dawned on me that I was packing the wrong game.

So I do what any respectful seller would do and I take to Ebay to contact the buyer. I send them a message letting them know there was a mix-up, that the wrong game was shipped, and I'm sorry. I tell them I can either fully refund it, or they can send it back when it arrives and I'll send them the correct game, and that I'll cover all the shipping for that, given it was my error that caused the problem.

No response.

A week later I get a notification that the product has arrived, so I think "Okay, I should contact the Buyer again, check in."

So I message them again, apologizing for the mix-up, reminding them I'm happy to either refund the product or to ship the correct product to them as soon as I have confirmation the wrong one is on it's way back, happy to cover shipping costs, etc.

No response.

That was A MONTH AGO.

I just now got a notification from Ebay saying that my account was permanently suspended because a customer reported an issue and claimed that I had made no effort to fix it.

According to the case, a customer ordered MH:GU from me, and not only did I ship the wrong game, but I "never made any attempt to resolve the issue" and "Ignored requests to do so".

I watch my pages like a hawk. They went a full month without replying to my second attempt to resolve. They got the game a week after I shipped it. I tried, and tried, and tried to fix the issue, tried getting in contact with them, and now they've gotten me permanently suspended because...why? What do they gain from this?? They got a refund, sure, but they also got the wrong game?

So what exactly do they get out of this besides something they didn't want in the first place?

They could have worked with me and gotten what they wanted just fine.

Or Ebay could have done some more research and seen that this person is lying through their damn teeth about me not reaching out or trying to help.

FUCK Ebay, and FUCK the customer that just fucked over my whole seller page.

[sarunohadaki]

Office AU/Workplace Prompts

Character A accidentally falls asleep at their desk during the work day. As punishment, B staples an article of their clothing to the desk (such as: tie)

A gets the promotion that nobody wanted

B calls in sick on the day of a big presentation and A has nothing but unsorted flashcards and a PowerPoint Presentation

After B calls in sick, the team (or A alone) decides to visit their home with a care package after work

An accounting error results in A receiving theirs AND B's quarterly bonuses

A is a new hire who feigns ineptitude to get out of working hard until they notice B bragging about being able to perform basic tasks and A decides to knock them down a peg

A and B have matching voice-mail messages

The coffee maker breaks and A (a non-coffee drinker) is the only one unaffected

The boss fires A and the rest of the team walks out in opposition

Coworkers go out for drinks after work

A and B pass each other sticky-note messages after being caught sending each other "inappropriate" messages over work email

Zoom meeting and A doesn't know how to turn off the dog filter

A forgets their earphones at home and blasts music from their office, oblivious to the fact that everyone can hear it

A has to borrow B's computer after a tech problem and discovers B's embarrassing desktop background

A and B engage in the weirdest water cooler chat(s)

A conducts B's performance review and isn't prepared for their reaction

Customers keep chatting B up in a flirtatious way so A steps in to shut it down

Gossip that A and B are dating starts to circulate and B puts an end to it via a mass email to the whole office

A and B compete for a promotion

A shames a customer for being rude to B so badly that the customer looks like they might cry

[minaramen]

Idol Star 2023 - Prince Stage: Touma Inumaru

[Disclaimer: I’m NOT a professional translator. I’m using my knowledge from 4 years of university. Please, feel free to let me know if you notice  mistranslation/typo/error of any kind]      

***

Touma: Hey!

Touma: So we're gonna meet at 12 today, right?

Minami: 

Minami: Aren't you confusing me with somebody else?

Touma: Mh?

Touma: Did I message the wrong person?

Minami: Who knows. I'm me.

Touma: I double checked the icon AND the home screen! I'm not wrong!

Touma: You’re my fellow ŹOOĻ member Natsume Minami, aren't you!?

Minami: Yes. I'm the versatile Natsume Minami: both your friend from ŹOOĻ and composer 

Touma: That’s enough, thank you, I didn't need so many details!

Touma: Being hacked on SNS is possible, y'know, and I was panicking that I had messaged the wrong person!

Minami: You were just in too much of a hurry, I think

Touma: 

Touma: We were supposed to go out for a meal today, right? 

Minami: Actually, no

Minami: I don’t know whether you’re mistaking me for somebody else, but I suppose things work differently for those who keep many people around 

Touma: Wait, I’ve never had many people around, actually! We decided to go to the diner together, didn’t we? The one where they make delicious stamina rice bowls! 

Minami: Are you possibly referring to the plans we had for tomorrow? 

Touma: Uh

Touma: Are you for real 

Touma: I'm sure it was today..

Minami: I thought we were supposed to go tomorrow after you finish filming for Idol Star 

Touma: Ah, yes, yes... you're right. I totally blew it 

Touma: Today they give you an extra fried chicken portion for free, I thought you'd be happy to go...

Minami: In other words since you knew I'd been happy to go you got over excited and made the mistake 

Touma: Uh?

Minami: What happened, then?

Touma: No, I mean, that's probably how it went 

Touma: I'm sorry Mina. I'll ask somebody else!

Minami: Wait. Don't give me the "that's probably how it went" speech. Explain to me exactly what happened 

Touma: Uh? Well...

Touma: I was like "Oh, cool, today they give an extra fried chicken portion for free! Mina will be over the moon with joy!"; I got over excited and somehow made a mess with the day

Minami: I see. I understand now 

Minami: Who are you going to invite?

Touma: Ah, it's a guy you don't know, Mina! A friend from my hometown 

Minami: But I'm your friend as well, right?

Touma: 

Touma: It’s pretty embarrassing to talk about that directly, but yeah, you definitely are! What about it? 

Minami: Nothing

Minami: Where are you now?

Touma: I've just finished the recordings, so I'm still at the studio!

Minami: It’s perfect, then. I happened to work close to there today, so let’s meet somewhere and go 

Touma: Really?? Is it okay with you??

Touma: Let’s go together!! Fried chicken is delicious, so I wanted you to eat lots of it!

Touma: Wow, I feel so happy! Thank you, Mina! It was sudden but you're still coming!

Minami: 

Minami: By the way, is it okay with you if I ask Isumi san as well? Apparently, he's nearby as well 

Minami: 

Touma: Ooh! Great! I'm gonna ask Tora, then! Apparently he got into restaurants' daily specials, lately

Minami: I'll go and meet Isumi san first, then 

Touma: Mina!

Touma: We're still having the meal together tomorrow, right?

Minami: That’s the plan, yes. Are you busy?

Touma: No, I was just wondering if it was fine with you to go eat with me for two days in a row 

Minami: If you don't mind...

Touma: Thank you!! Of course I don’t mind, I'm super happy! Watching you eat is quite a thing, Mina, I have so much fun every time 😄

Minami: I’m glad to hear that. What do you think about a change of plans tomorrow? I'd like to take you to a restaurant I really like

Minami: You can eat delicious meat for one coin

Touma: Meat? Amazing! If you're a regular customer, Mina, it must be delicious 🤤

Touma: Since we're all working at the same location tomorrow, let's ask Haru and Tora as well

Minami: Yes

Touma: Okay, once Tora answers back I'll let you know the meeting place 

Touma: 

Minami: 

The end

[snapthistiger]

new HP computer delivery saga

ordered a new HP computer so i would have 1 computer with the new Microsoft windows 11. not sure if that was necessary but knowing that windows 10 would sunset on my current computer was bothering me.

July 29, 2023 - picked out a laptop computer on HP.com and placed order, paying with credit card

July 31, 2023 - HP ships the new laptop by FedEx ground. i get notification from HP and a tracking link to FedEx that says the computer will be delivered on August 3, 2023

August 2, 2023 - FedEx tracking says the computer is out for delivery. around 1030am, i am in my living room and i see the FedEx truck stop in front of my house. i can see the driver look at his papers and go in the back of the truck and then come back to the papers and back into the truck. after a few minutes, he drives away and no delivery is made.

August 3, 2023 - the FedEx status changes from out for delivery to Pending

August 4, 2023 - i contact FedEx and ask about the delivery status which still shows Pending. FedEx starts an investigation and gives me a case number. FedEx requests information from me on the package so i send them a screenshot of the info from the HP web site.

August 4, 2023 - i call HP customer service to see if they have leverage with FedEx to find the package. HP tells me to wait until after August 8 and that the package will be considered late at that point

August 7, 2023 - i get a phone call from FedEx asking me about the package. the investigator tells me they are following up with the driver.

August 8, 2023 - i get an email from FedEx stating that they can't find the package.

August 9, 2023 - i call HP and they open an investigation and i provide the information from FedEx on their investigation. HP gave me an order number for a new computer. HP tells me the new computer should ship soon.

August 14, 2023 - i call HP because i have not received info on new computer shipment. the supervisor tells me that FedEx is still trying to find the 1st shipment. i go through my story with her and tell her that i feel that i'm being penalized for FedEx's error. i have done everything correct and i don't have my computer. she tells me she will follow up with FedEx and get my replacement computer on its way. she calls me back in 30 minutes and leaves a voicemail that my computer will be shipped today and delivered by August 16, 2023. late in the evening, i receive shipment text message from HP and from FedEx.

August 15, 2023 - new computer is delivered. i'm exhausted but happy to finally receive it.