#and therefore not to blame here

[eliotquillon]

IS THIS A SAFE SPACE FOR ME TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MY FLATMATES.

[screamingwiththewolves]

to debate as to whether Hyde is actually at fault for the London fire is kind of funny to me.

Like on one had, yes, there is certainly a discussion there about Hyde's recklessness contributing to the flame thrower showing fire from the skys...

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND-

Imagine, a dude rocks up to your house with a flame thrower, threatens you and your friends/family, then during the scuffle to defend your home, you knock the weapon out of his hand, it explodes, and YOU GET BLAMED FOR THE INCIDENT!

DUDE, I'D BE PISSED! XD

[uncanny-tranny]

You lose the plot when discussing and fighting for minorities when you buy into the specific brand of (specifically christianity) "suffering is Divine, and the more you Suffer, the More Divine you are."

Suffering is suffering is suffering - when you choose to ignore a marginalized group's suffering because they are not suffering enough or are not "good victims," you have lost the plot.

[egotistical-cabbage]

I’m cringe but I am free

[lauronk]

wip ask game!

regular rules: list the wips and let people invade your inbox about them!

thank you @two-birds-alone-together and @dancingonmoonbeams for the tags!

i kind of divided mine out so you know what you’re getting when i answer (which will probably be tomorrow night)

wips that have been worked on recently:

a - joel owns a bar

a - bank robbery

bthb - chained to a wall

classes

corn harvest - answered

ellie has insomnia

ellie runs away (ellie)

ellie runs away (joel)

ellie’s burn

gthb - naps - answered & answered

happy ending fic

if you can wait till i get home ch. 4

joel the fixer

silent feral ellie - answered

tattoos - answered

turn the page

wips that have words but haven’t been worked on in a minute:

a - ghost

a - plane crash

a - train fic choo choo motherfuckers

bthb - appendicitis

bthb - bleeding out

bthb - comatose

bthb - gunshot wound

bthb - hiding an illness

ellie gets in a fight

foster

jelly fic 2 camping boogaloo - answered

joel gets sick

leave ellie at state house

maría pov

near miss - tommy & ellie

piece by piece

rip joel 2k25

sarah’s mom in jackson

separated

stabby

take me to the lakes

wips that are but a mere dream in a doc:

a - sigh - regency au

bthb - caught in a storm

bthb - cauterizing a wound

bthb - choking

bthb - cramping

bthb - drugged

bthb - food poisoning

bthb - mistaken identity

bthb - near death & damaged vocal chords

bthb - pneumonia

joel w/amnesia

post-making of cure

[dilf-phoenix-rights]

I’m gonna say something that some of you will not like to hear: tumblr’s culture of trying to be the purist leftist above everyone and everything else encourages isolation and egocentrism and does little to nothing to grow and strengthen the left.

[ananke-xiii]

Perhaps the most interesting thing Chuck ever said is "humans… they'll break your heart every time".

[moreaujeans]

my toxic trait is the way i physically grind my teeth every time i see a post comparing the wicked book and “movie” instead of “musical” for something that is not exclusive to the movie & also the movie is still a musical

[mcneymaker]

WHO: open to all ! WHEN: ???? whenever it makes to your character WHERE: outside the Connaught

Even though the streets of London are ever so busy, the hustle and bustle of people creating a rather loud environment, there's an aura of stillness that surrounds Nadia as she steps out of the restaurant. An air of regality should accompany her when her heels touch, with an almost deafening click, the pavement, as it usually does. This time is a rare exception, as it seems. Perhaps it's a tiny rock, maybe someone's misplaced personal belonging, but something gets between the sole of her Louboutin and ground, and she feels like falling. Before that sort of embarrassment can befall upon her ( humiliation never suited women like Nadezhda Liddell ), she reaches out, her nails digging in tightly, on the person's arm.

It takes a second for her sense of self-preservation to register that she's safe now, no audience will bear witness to an faux pas of humanity she came dangerously close to exhibiting.

Well, except this one unfortunate individual.

Nadia's grip on the other person loosens, and she withdraws her hand, shaking it as if she had touched something disgusting. "How very unfortunate." She muses, standing tall again as she cuts her gaze sharply to her saviour ( or foe; the verdict was yet to be announced ). "This coat costs more than your salary for," she continues, eyes examining, lip curled into a sneer, "five years. So you better hope I get your grease stains off of it or you'll be footing a very expensive bill." It wasn't really their fault, but better that than to admit any sort of personal weakness.

[momochiiee-reblogs]

Being screamed at for things that aren't my fault seems to be a norm in this house

There's cookware scattered an dirty? Guess who gets blamed for it? The exact one that almost never has spoons for cooking in the first place

I live cleaning the trail after me so they won't have any reason to scream at me, but my brother leaves absolute messes behind him and the screams are for me

Fuck off

[mangled-by-disuse]

anyway now i'm stuck in a brain rut and fully rhapsodising about the concept of "having a cuppa" so goddammit you all have to hear about it.

Like. Britain is commonly mocked (mostly by itself) for its obsession with tea and putting the kettle on. I will mock it. It is very mockable. But it's also so important on a ritual level, you know?

It's not about the tea itself. Like, tea does have active benefits in a lot of the situations where a cuppa is brought to bear. Sweet milky tea (any hot drink with a lot of sugar, really) is used in crisis situations in part because the combination of "warm, comforting" and "jolt of easily-accessible glucose" both help with several forms of shock. A hot drink on a cold day is a real comfort. Et cetera, et cetera, and so forth.

But I think in 99% of cases where a cuppa is appropriate, the symbol is so much more important than the actual - which is why it's more important to offer a cuppa than to actually make one.

(I live in fear of the day I offer a workman a cuppa and they actually accept, because then I will have to tangle with the reality that most people want milk in their tea/coffee and I almost never have milk in my kitchen.)

The important thing is that sense of hospitality. To put the kettle on is to make an act of service: it says "I am your host, I am here to provide what you need, and I'm offering upfront so you don't need to worry you're imposing". It puts a dynamic on the situation which defuses power in favour of provision: if you offer a worker at your house a cuppa, it says in a small way, "even if you're here as an employee, I am treating you as a guest, and I am willing to provide for you even as you're working for me."

And similarly, if you share a space with housemates or family, being the one to say "I'll put the kettle on" is a small way of saying "I'll offer support".

(It's worth noting that one way to say "I'll take the pot and pour everyone's tea" is to say "I'll be mother". This is not a coincidence.)

Tea has an important symbolic role, which IMO is directly cognate to pouring wine or sharing bread in medieval European society. Putting the kettle on/making a cuppa is a social signal, which says at once: "I am at home here", "You are welcome in this space, which is safe and communal", "I am at your service", "You don't have to stand on ceremony", and "I will give you things if you need them."

And that's why it's appropriate for so many situations, from "come to mine for a cuppa" as a non-committal invitation, to "aw hen sit down and I'll put the kettle on" in a crisis, to "do you want a cuppa?" aimed at a worker in your house. A cuppa is not a cup of tea. A cuppa is a mutual agreement to a social dynamic that can be just as welcome among strangers as among your closest family: the giver, and the guest.

[sitronsangbody]

Please, please be considerate of your fat friends' needs and limitations. Fat bodies are heavy to carry around. I move about the world slower than my thin peers, and I've often had to choose between pushing myself to keep a pace that takes absolutely all my energy, or being left behind, when walking in a group. I don't always feel safe to ask that everyone walk slower, because there's a prevalent idea in society that fat people need to exert themselves as much as possible at all times in the service of weight loss, and that we never "really" need rest, therefore it's a good thing whenever we're exhausted. Fat people and thin people alike are taught that fatness is a flaw, one that fat people ourselves are to blame for, so we're not entitled to any accommodation or consideration. A friend of mine who is fat recently told me about a dinner party she went to where the chairs were far too small for her and she was sitting very uncomfortably. After the meal she politely suggested moving the party to the couch, but the others didn't want to. She spent another couple of hours in unnecessary pain, and didn't dare tell them about it. I love my thin friends, but some of them just don't realize that I weigh probably twice as much as them, and yet I balance it all on the same size feet and carry it on about the same size bones. I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times. Why would that not have an impact on how I function? Please - take us into consideration when we're part of activities. Ask us which activities work and which don't. Adjust the pace so no one has to be dry heaving and sweating barrels on what's supposed to be a casual walk. Make sure venues have seating that fits us. Make it safe for us to speak up if we need something. When we do, don't treat us like we're the problem. Finally: yes, we have heard of losing weight. Even those of us who might (and many never will, whether you like it or not), won't do it on a moment's notice. If your response to "fat people deserve accommodations" is "what if they weren't fat though", you're playing a fantasy game. It's pointless. We are fat and we are here and we do partake in society. Work with that.

[cats-in-the-clouds]

my sister got engaged and we’re all really happy for her but my bitter rain cloud of a dad (who naturally she told last) is giving her a bit of passive aggressive grief about it despite her boyfriend being like the best man of our generation (presumably either because he’s not catholic or because my dad sees them as young dumb unemployed people who aren’t ready for marriage or because he’s mad he barely has any real love with his own wife or something). so like pray for us? i wish i knew what to do

[hinotorihime]

keep in mind that i'm using the words "(in)valid" and "(un)sound" here in their formal logic senses: a valid argument is one where the conclusion follows from the premises. a sound argument both is valid AND has evidence to support the truth of its premises. even if an argument is logically valid, it's not sound if you can't support the truth of the premises; and even if you have evidence for the premises, an invalid argument won't be sound either.

the reason it's so important to stay away from conspiratorial language is twofold:

one, it's literally just not even useful because it's fundamentally bad logic,

and two, if you don't fill in a specific value for the actor, someone else is very likely to fill one in for you, and that's one of the easiest ways to radicalize someone. if you're already primed to look for a target for your blame, all that a malicious actor has to do is aim you at their favorite target.

and to be crystal clear: being radicalized is BAD. antisemitism—because let's be honest, it always ends up turning into antisemitism sooner or later—is BAD. we do not want these things. they are the tools of very dangerous people whom we do not want to be like or be around. therefore we must avoid giving those tools and the people who use them a foothold in our discourse. conspiratorial language can very easily become such a foothold; therefore, we ought to steer clear of it.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Watching the politics tag fill up with exhausted liberals talking about how they're too drained to keep resisting and no one should blame them for that and like. Yeah, you're right this sucks and you shouldn't be forced to do it to be treated as human and you shouldn't need to be able to be on and in activist mode all the time either and ALSO

I've been doing this since 2002. My mother did this from 1981-2015. My auntie marched in Alabama during civil rights and my childhood minister has been in resistence since the Vietnam war and has shown no signs of stopping as she collects civil disobedience arrests across all 50 states like badges of honor.

And you all are burnt out after 8 yrs of some of the biggest (and therefore LEAST DEMANDING ON YALL PERSONALLY) movements we've ssen in decades because you feel too poor and tired???????

My mama would go around to every grocery store she had friends working at in the valley and collect all the food they were gonna toss, then host educational salons where she fed everyone in the neighborhood and performed innoculation work. She was a single mom raising a deeply disabled child ALONE on a salary half that of her male coworkers you think she had money? You think she had TIME????? NO!

If you are tired now, I'm sorry to be harsh, but it is BECAUSE YOU DID NOT LISTEN when you were told you needed to settle in for the long haul. You DID NOT LISTEN when organizers shared with everyone their practices around self-care, specialization, community care, and communication, and you spent the last 8 years burning the candle at both ends in person and online with no regard for the actual WORK only for your own fear and feelings of reassurance.

This will never sustain change. I'm sorry. I truly am. I never wanted this for anyone who came after me and I have so much grief that it's here. But I also do not have time to force yall to fucking listen to us when we talk.

Stop trying to assert that only the wealthy and energetic resist. Anyone I see doing so will be bitten repeatedly until fucking dead.

[hevendor]

i feel like ppl on the internet overanalyze what makes a good apology now .. i remember wen i first started seeing ppl talk abt the difference between "good" and "bad" apologies like 10 or so years ago n the focus was more like "are they trying to shift blame off of themselves or are they actually accepting responsibility"

so an example as a shit apology is like "im sorry you felt offended i didnt expect anyone to react that way to what i did" n its cuz its basically blaming ppl for being offended

and then other apologies that r often considered bad r ones that seem almost like a vague generic template like "i did wrong so i will do better now pls forgive me" n it doesnt show the person even acknowledges what they even did wrong they just want to skip to being forgiven w/e any effort

and criticisms of those types i accept fully but i feel like ppl r starting to get more and more specific w how apologies need to b as if the apology needs to b absolutely flawless to mean anything n i think thats so bogus ... usually wen someone is apologizing for smth and they actually mean it and care a lot then they r also gonna b v emotional n its weird to expect someone who is spiraling to produce the most perfect well thought out and eloquent apology humanly possible .. like that is a legit skill to be able to write well thought out statements and its not a skill that spontaneously develops based on how genuinely sorry someone is lol ..

of course there are also lots of important nuance in any given situation such as what it is that is being apologized for and who the person is n all this other stuff so of course an apology can still b bad even if it isnt trying to blame other ppl/feels like a template but i still think there r way too many situations in which there are overly high expectations of what an apology should include

i feel like after taking a step back from internet culture i gained more of an understanding that people r just people and are always liable to make many mistakes and to b unable to handle everything perfectly especially wen emotions r high so i feel more forgiveness esp for ppl whos "crime" wasnt anything that extreme or was maybe understandable given the situation they were placed in and the feelings they were likely feeling .. no one acts rationally 100% of the time and mistakes r how ppl learn.. again there is nuance to everything tho